#the problem with finally getting her to go to therapy is now she thinks shes morally superior and also more emotionally mature than everyone

[scarletcomet]

my therapist literally always cancels on me when i need therapy the most

[goethitee]

oooo i think im in trouble…….

[cimeriansparrow]

Sister's therapist called child protective services on my mother!!

[chaos-coming]

You're not "too sensitive" you're having a trauma response

[annabelle--cane]

there's a lot going on in the mag 58 supplemental, this one little scene does a lot of heavy lifting to set up martin and tim's arcs for the rest of the show, but I want to focus on these lines particularly because of how therapy comes back as a symbol in s4/s5.

broadly, in the context of the meta plot and not the individual statements, seeking therapy in tma is representative of trying to improve oneself and get out of a bad situation. later, when taking melanie to therapy, georgie suggests that jon should get some as well but, when asked, says she wouldn't be willing to escort him like she does with melanie, showing how she does wish the best for jon in theory but doesn't think he actually wants to get better, or at least that she's not sure enough to involve herself with him.

that view of jon doesn't come from nowhere, because here we have an instance of him rejecting that same offer, symbolically rejecting help in favor of digging himself deeper on his own (obligatory disclaimer that irl therapy is a very personal thing and says nothing about one's overall character, this is just an examination of a motif in fiction). the word choice of "he just says no" imo implies that martin has suggested this multiple times and jon keeps giving the same answer, continually reaffirming that he does not want outside assistance to pull him out of this spiral.

the fact that martin's the one advocating to go soft on jon despite repeated refusals for more sympathetic help is interesting to me, because I would guess that this conversation was instigated by jon aggressively confronting martin about trevor herbert two episodes earlier. we know he was stalking all three of his assistants, but that is the biggest and most threatening outburst we get from jon in this period, and in this conversation it is still martin being defensive and apologetic vs tim being frustrated and pissed off.

I've said recently that I'm pretty sure martin believed jon was self harming and/or suicidal at this point, so I can see why he would be particularly willing to give jon slack and try to prevent any big conflicts, but that still contributes to his current narrative role of "guy who is treated the worst but ignores it because he's also the guy who cares the most." in that way, he's a foil for georgie; she cares, sure, but not enough to ignore (perceived) risks. martin pushes for jon to get therapy even as he lashes out and rejects help, and georgie won't involve herself when jon asks if she'd be willing to help him see a therapist.

this motif comes back around for a final complication in s5, when laverne, melanie's therapist, winds up as part of her cult. melanie's effort to get better and get out did have lasting effects, she is separated from the watcher/watched system and is coping a whole lot better than she would have before, but those personal efforts still weren't enough to fully get her out of the whole mess. no amount of individual action could remove her from this structural problem, her therapist helped her a lot but also now thinks she's a prophet.

which also comes back to the above scene. tim and martin both write off elias as useless in this situation, so they start sniping at each other and talking about how to stop jon from doing what he's doing without even really lingering on how the guy who is actually in charge and has power over them all is making it worse by neglecting his managerial duties. I'm sure jon could have done with some therapy at this point, but that would have only dealt with, like, 10% of the archive gang's current problems.

[rachetmath]

Ruby: Okay has anyone noticed anything wrong with Jaune?

Yang: Ruby he is in therapy. He’s fine.

Ruby: I know but that’s not the problem.

Weiss: She right he’s kind of been off lately.

Nora: What do you mean?

Blake: Jaune seems to get easily frustrated and distracted.

Nora: I mean when is he never?

Ruby: Yeah but you would think Jaune being in therapy he would not get like that so easily.

Yang: He’s probably having a hard time readjusting.

Ren: But it has been months though.

Nora: It’s a slow recover.

Ren: But it’s seems to be happening in a pattern.

Oscar: How so?

Emerald: It’s what causes him to lack focus and push him.

Yang: Wait does Jaune want to fight someone?

Blake: How are you not looking?

Qrow: What are you all talking about?

Ruby: Jaune’s issue.

Qrow: Yeah I noticed it.

Ruby: Really?

Qrow: Yeah and I understand. The struggle is real. He needs to get it.

Nora: So he does want to fight someone.

Ren: Nora, come on, keep up.

Oscar: None of you are making sense.

Ozpin: Oscar it’s obvious.

Oscar: What is?

Jaune: Hi, everyone.

Ruby: Oh.

Weiss: Wow Jaune you look... happy.

Jaune: Yeah I finally got what I needed to get the edge off.

Blake: *laughs and sarcastically*Really? By who?

Jaune: By Elm.

RWBQRE: *chew drop*

Jaune: Yeah, it was fun. And I feel a lot better now.

Blake: (No freakin way. With their height difference and her body mass.)

Yang: Well I’m glad you are okay.

Nora: Dang you and Elm must have went all out in the sparring match.

RWB, Qrow, Ren and Emerald: (What the fuck? They can’t be-)

Jaune: Yeah… ... a ‘sparring match’. Yeah.

Ren: (BULLSHIT! HE HAS TO BE LYING!)

Yang: How many rounds did you two go? I bet I could go more rounds than her.

Blake: YANG!!!

Yang: What?

Nora: Yeah Yang, you can go ten but I can go twenty.

Ren: *face palm* Nora please.

Nora: Ren come on you know I can do it.

Ruby and Weiss: (Idiots. The both of them.)

Oscar: Um-(covered)

Emerald: Shut up. You’ll thank me later once we talk.

Jaune: Sorry, Yang and Nora but I lost count after five.

Blake:(NO! No freaking way! You got to be lying! There is no way without getting your back broken.)

Ren: (How much frustration have you been holding?! And how come I couldn’t see it?!)

Ruby: Blake are you okay? You look frustrated.

Blake: Nothing Ruby.

Yang: Well okay we’ll ask Elm tomorrow.

Jaune: Um. I wouldn’t.

Nora: And why not?

Jaune: Reasons. (I over did it.)

Yang: Jaune there is no need to be embarrassed, we already know. She pinned you.

Jaune: (Oh hell no! F you too,) You know what, ask her tomorrow. She’ll give you both the juicy details. See you later.

Nora: Glad you’re okay Jaune.

The Next day

Yang: Hey Elm.

Elm: *tired and yawns* Hello.

Nora: Wow you look horrible.

Elm: What did you expect? Your friends was beast.

Yang: What you mean? Jaune was on an island for I don’t know how long. Of course he be difficult but he couldn't beat you.

Jaune: You know we talk outside if you want.

Elm: Yes, I see. No wonder he was bit ruff last night.

Blake: (NO!)

Ren: (No. No. No! No way possible.)

Qrow:(Damn, he actually hit that. And survived.)

Emerald: (How much heat was he packing?)

Jaune: I’m sorry. I know I over did it. I was overwhelmed.

Elm: Don’t worry you did wonders for me. Especially on your first try.

Yang: Yeah but--- wait “first try?” “Last night?”

Nora: … … …

Jaune: I mean I know I could have done better.

Elm: You were fine. Especially after round ten. You were a monster.

Nora: No. No. No way.

Yang: Impossible.

Elm: In fact my body is still sore after that. It was miracle I was able to stand up at all.

Oscar: *blushes*

Emerald: Told you so.

Ozpin: (*sigh* You’re going to need some time to process this.)

Yang and Nora: *blush and faint*

Blake: YANG!

Ren: NORA!

Elm: Oh. Too much.

Jaune: Yeah. Just enough.

Afterwards…

Nora: Jaune what the hell?!

Jaune: *laughs*

Yang: I thought you were having hard time readjusting?

Jaune: I was but...I had other needs.

Yang: Oh my gosh and I said I can last longer than Elm. In the sheets no less.

Jaune: *laughs*

Yang: *red eyed and blushes* NOT FUNNY!!!

Ruby: I mean how did you not notice it?

Yang: What are you talking about Ruby?

Ruby: Yang seriously? You didn’t know after Jaune was looking at your breast instead of your eyes.

Yang: What?

Blake: Or how he was staring at Emerald’s ass.

Emerald: I knew it. Especially after Nora-

Jaune: No-no let’s not go there.

Nora: Wait you mean when I… Jaune really?

Jaune: …. Sorry.

Ren: Or how Jaune was staring at every girl or woman that passes him.

Yang; Holy. T-then how did Elm-

Jaune: Elm saw. She teased me. I reached my limit. Wanted to hit it. She gave me a shot. Mission complete.

Nora: This can’t be real. Why?

Jaune: I was on an island. Alone.

Nora: So?

Jaune; I was alone. With no human people. Just toys and objects. What else must I say?

Yang: Okay. But why Elm?

Jaune: It was either her, Harriet, Winter, or Fiona.

Weiss: Hold on, what?

Yang: The f*** wrong with you?

Jaune: Again I was on an island. No humans. What do you expect? Booty was the second thing on my mind besides going home.

Nora: Well okay but why just Elm, Harriet, Winter and Fiona?

Jaune: … … …

Weiss: JAUNE!!

Nora: You mother-

Yang: Really?!

Emerald: We judging now?

Jaune: Hold on. Hold on now, I don’t recall any of you girls throwing me anything. What rights do you have to judge me?

Yang; She is older than you.

Jaune: I’m older than you!

Weiss: You were thinking about my sister?

Jaune: If it makes you feel any better she was my last option.

Weiss: No. No it does not.

Jaune: I mean for me it was worth it.

Ruby: Wait Winter is last? How are the others ranked?

Yang: Why is that your concern?

Ruby: I want answers.

Jaune: Well Fiona was my top choice. Harriet was my second. Elm was originally my third. And Winter is last.

Blake: Why is Fiona on top?

Jaune: She’s cute and doesn’t need ass or big chest to prove anything. And she actual helps her people.

Blake: *sad*

Ruby: Why is Harriet second?

Jaune: Nice ass, cute and good tits.

Nora: Elm?

Jaune: The challenge. And despite her warrior spirit, she's kind.

Weiss: Okay, I might regret this but… why is Winter last?

Jaune: You know why.

Weiss: F*** you too then.

Jaune: You wish.

Weiss: I did. I wish I could’ve been your first.

Ruby: Oh Weiss. You are Pyrrha now.

[natashaslesbian]

Sleepy Bear

Summary: Natasha finds an unusual way to help you sleep

Word Count: 1.1k

Parings (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Warnings: none I believe :))

————

You had no idea how long your girlfriend had been doing this for you. Sleep had never come easy to you, only did you get a rest when your exhaustion would force your body to shut down. Your thoughts leave you restless each night, the anxiety had always been there. Your mom started you in therapy when you were 7, the nightmares should have stopped by then. She tired everything, your mother, each week was a new medication. Your dad on the other hand, he couldn’t have cared less. It was him who marched you into the hospital demanding they scanned your ‘daft brain’ as he put it. There was nothing to be found. Years of therapy only brought the diagnosis of anxiety, much to the disappointment of your father. Dr Grey was a nice lady, but she couldn’t quite solve your problems. You were too young to put your anxiety into words, you just knew it made you too scared to sleep. You stopped therapy after your mom died and your dad refused to pay, you were left to your own devices.

You met Natasha 2 years ago at the coffee shop you work at. She fell head over heels the second she laid her eyes on you, not that she’d ever tell you that. You had your eyes on her too, it took you months to realise that she was purposely going out of her way to visit the shop multiple times a week. It started with lasting looks and then lingering touches when you passed the redhead her iced caramel oat milk latte. Soon you were slipping her extra cookies and then one day she slipped you her number, you never looked back after that day. After a few months you finally let Natasha come over to your apartment, she was horrified at the state you were living in, sleep was the last of your worries. Your dad kicked you out after you told him you were gay, you took what you could and found the cheapest little studio available. The paint was chipped all over, the cooker didn’t work and you were on the verge of eviction. The widow was desperate to move you into the compound, despite your discomfort at the idea. Eventually you agreed to take residence in one of the spare rooms, and surprisingly you settled in straight away. Your life fell back on track after that and you and Natasha had grown closer and stronger than ever, you even shared a room now, Natasha had to move the ring in her bedside draw to Clint’s room.

A slightly sharp corner had you stirring slightly, the assassin quick to flash you a worried glance. You settled again straight away, rolling your face into the cold window. The day you had finally told Natasha about your anxiety was a relief, you cried for hours that wednesday. Since your mother, no one had been so kind. You were so afraid she would run a mile, but she sat with you for all those hours, just holding you. Nat promised to spend every sleepless night with you, lord knows she had her own problems when it came to sleep, but you somehow found comfort in each others restless nights. Often you would take turns in reading to each other, some nights you would go for a stroll around the grounds of the compound. But your favourite form of medicine was the car. Natasha would wrap you up in her fluffy blanket and strap you snug into the passenger seat, the gentle hum and sway of the motor would eventually lull you into a slumber. It took months for your girlfriend to convince you to even try the idea, you hated it at first, what did she think you were, a baby? “I know you’re not an actual baby, but your my baby” she would say “let me take care of you” how she even thought of the plan was a mystery to you and you definitely didn’t want to admit it was working.

Natasha pulled into the 24 hour gas station, the car coming to a scratchy stop. “Mm, Tasha?” You mumbled, half asleep still. “I’m here sweetheart, I just need to get some gas” she said “would you like some snacks? Or do you wanna sleep a little longer?” Your belly rumbled right on cue “choccy biscuit” maybe you were still a baby at heart, “one pack of chocolate biscuits coming right up” the beautiful red head said, oh how you thought her locks were just gorgeous. “You’re so pretty” you whispered, eyes only half open “thank you baby” Natasha laid a kiss on your warm lips and you couldn’t stop the little squeal that escaped you. She wasn’t gone long enough for you to miss her, considering you continued to doze in her absence. You heard the familiar commotion of your girlfriend climbing back into the drivers seat, you peeled your eyes open to give her a sleepy smile “here you go sleepy bear” your favourite biscuits were deposited into your lap and you whispered a small thanks.

You contently nibbled for the 45 minute journey back to the compound, while Natasha quietly sang along to whatever trash was on the late night radio, you always thought they played the worse songs during the early hours of the morning. A quick glance at the clock told you it was 2:36am, Natasha had been driving you to sleep for over an hour, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for you. “I love you” you said, breaking the silence “I love you too y/n” Natasha replied, a bit unsure at why you were suddenly all mushy. “No” you continued “I really love you” a red light gave Nat the chance to flash you another worried look, she softened when you saw your eyes glistening back at her, and the smile engraved on your face “you’re welcome baby girl” you swear she could read your mind. With the conversation at a happy standstill you decided to close your eyes again, just for a little nap until you were home.

When you stirred again, the rough car seat had become your plush mattress and your head was laying comfortably on your pillow. It quickly became Natasha’s as she climbed into bed with you “can I have my own pillow sleepy?” She giggled “no” you sighed, carrying the sound to the end of your breath “it smells like you” you mumbled “but I’m right here?” The widow kindly shot back “oh yeah” you said, eyes still tightly shut, you still failed to roll back over though. “You’re not gonna move are you?” Natasha said, you shook your head against her arm and she didn’t hesitate to haul you up into lap, her arms wrapped tightly around your waist and your head perfectly slotted into the crook of her neck. “Sweet dreams y/n” Natasha wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep that ring locked away.

————

I wrote this when I couldn’t sleep and I almost cried

-Astara

[hanihazeljade]

Therapy

Tim has been seeing a therapist, and he decided to listen. Finally.

Disclaimer: I am not a psychiatrist and I just heard on Tiktok about the therapy part of this drabble. The tiktok account was from Dr. Julie.

(Warning: swear words)

Tim knows he is a messed up human being. Being a child crime fighter and then being an orphan is really cool, and depressing at the same time.

Tim has witnessed a lot of stuff that will put people in a lot of trauma. He just quirky like that. But one therapy session definitely change a lot of his thoughts.

It started as a casual therapy of Timothy expected and when she pull out two fish tanks and a toy fish, he was impressed.

"Timothy, pretend that this fish is you." his therapist said as she crank the toy and dropped it in the water tank. "Imagine that this fish tank is your life. When you were born, it's clear and not a single dirty thing in it, but once you grow up, problems starts to create and it can be toxic to you." she explained as she dripped a bottle of brown liquid to the tank. "If the fish is living in a toxic environment, the fish will eventually get sick." she said as she pulled the fish out of the water.

"You pull out the fish of that toxic environment and put in a new clean environment," she said as she dropped the fish to the clear water, "...and it helps. It gets better. But once you return the fish to the dirty tank, it doesn't matter how clean the water in the other tank, it will eventually wear down the fish."

Timothy can see where this is going.

"The fish is you. You were neglected in your younger years and then everything got taken away from you. With everything got stacked up in your life, it gotten more and more toxic, you need to change your environment, Timothy. Take a break for a week, be selfish for a moment and see if it can help you." she said and they end the therapy there.

Timothy should not even thinking about getting a vacation, crime doesn't stop just because you are depressed. But her words echoed through his mind, "Be selfish for a moment." and he filed for a leave of absence and he doesn't wait for it to be approved as he took a flight to Melbourne. He is insane for taking a flight at the other side of Gotham, but he felt it, the electrifying sensation that he once felt running around the Gotham taking pictures of Batman.

He felt thrill and adrenaline in his veins and he found himself smiling at this feeling.

+++++

Melbourne is amazing, except for spiders and the fucking city was almost called Batmania, fucking hell.

That week was spent on sleeping and just sight-seeing and honestly, he wanted to take a break from now.

But just like what his therapist said, no matter how clear the water during his break, now that he is in the toxic tank, he was already tired.

The glare that he got from Bruce and Dick is a little degrading and Alfred's disappointed face was the last string that snap that made him finally realise that he doesn't need them to be happy. He doesn't need a 'family' that the reason of him to go to the therapy.

This is the muddy water for him. Not just the Wayne Manor but the whole Gotham.

He was still in the middle of a lecture of Bruce's when he whipped a white envelope with his resignation letter on it. He is resigning to everything that has connection to Gotham or even the America itself. He just smiled at Bruce and left the cave to go to the garage of the Manor where his Jaguar is.

He sort of black out what happen because the next thing he knew was that he was in a plane to Taiwan. He has no idea but he have a suitcase and himself. He smiled at himself and he is letting the fate be his navigator in this chapter of his life.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for changing my (30 FtM) name?

I was born with a very angrogynous/masculine name. For the sake of this post we'll say it's Alex Andrew Lastname. I was bullied for it growing up and can often see on people's faces that they were expecting someone different when they see my name first. I never liked my name growing up because I didn't think I fit the vibe. I'm just not an "Alex". But honestly, if I ever fully pass, that could change.

I recognize I've hit the trans guy jackpot. I've seen quite a few trans men change their names to my birth name, first and middle. Logically, I'd never have to change it for safety or validation reasons.

I've been using a different name for years now. My partner of 10 years doesn't know me by another name and cringes when we have to use Alex for legal paperwork. This name has been public knowledge to everyone including my family for about 8 years. We'll say this new name is "Elijah" (it is not)

The problem arises when I bring up my final legal name choice to my mom.

"Why that? I would have never named you that. I don't think it suits you." I double down and explain I like the name and don't mind the religious connotation (we went to church but she's always appropriated eastern religions, I am not religious) Additionally, SHE should have been using it all this time, even when I'm not there. She complains. "Can't I still call you Alex? I mean, I gave birth to you, I should still be able to call you Alex. I gave you that name because it was androgynous and cool, why do you want to change it?" I tell her again, no. If she's the only person deadnaming me, other people will feel they have the right to. "Can I call you Al?" No, sorry. "Can I call you Andrew? I named you after your uncle, he didn't do anything wrong."

Because she's pushing back so much, I tell her the truth. Growing up, she was abusive and negligent. When she did use my name, she said it like she hated me. When I was in trouble, when she was disagreeing with me, when she bullied me. She didn't really say my name in rare situations where she was proud because she was jealous and focused on making sure everyone knew I was cool and "unique" because I was "her kid". Because of it, I cringe when I hear my birth name. It's a strong name, a good name, even, but it makes me feel small and tired. I told her I was proud of her going to therapy, that we could start over, but that I'm asking to be respected as a person.

Shortly after I was born, she asked my grandma to draw up a tattoo of my deadname. It's a large, dark piece on her entire lower back. I told her I don't expect her to cover it, that she can keep it and mourn the name however she feels, but I'd like to get a matching, small tattoo with her to celebrate my new name if she's interested. She didn't really respond. She finally said she still doesn't like the name Elijah, but asked if she could call me Eli (yeah, obviously)

Despite all of this reaching some sort of compromise, I've heard I've made a bad decision from both sides. Some think I was too gentle and understanding and should have essentially said "fuck you this is my name take it or leave it". Others think I should have kept my deadname because there was nothing wrong with it, I'm being too emotional about it, or that I'm choosing to inconvenience others by changing things age 30. There's also the idea that no one really likes their name so it's not a great reason to change it.

AITA for having no real reason to change my name and doing so anyway?

What are these acronyms?

[czrpenters]

mine | gf!sam carpenter x reader

summary: it's very hard to sam fight against her instincts. so, maybe she should embrace them.

pairings: ghostface!sam carpenter x mackenzie!fem!reader.

warnings: mentions of mental disorders, blood, death of a character, suicide, dark themes.

word count: 3.2k words.

masterlist | request rules.

Sam felt guilty. She felt dirty. Disgusting, even.

Ever since the attacks in Woodsboro, she felt a switch turn inside of her. I mean, she always felt a little different, ever since she was a kid; she hated sharing, hated when things didn't went her way. Hated pretty much every person alive except her sister. And she never found peace. She had to reccur to drinking and drugs to forget about those feelings, even if for just a second. It was raging. Like it was tearing her chest from the inside out. The hallucinations with her real father, the voices she heard telling her to do things, all the anxiety and panic she felt daily. It was torture, to her.

And that got so freaking worse when she met you.

Sam met you through her sister, Tara. The attacks in Woodsboro were very personal to you. You lost your sister there. Your best friend, your Liv. You guys were closer than everything. Both of you were almost the same person, like two peas in a pod. Losing her was losing a part of you. And Sam pretty much saved you back then. Physically and emotionally.

When Sam fell in love with you, she thought that all of the horrible shit she felt would go away for good. She was innocent, of course; thought that love was the solution to all the problems in the world. And it was, for a while.

She felt peaceful, she felt at home. Everytime you kissed her, she forgot about everything bad that was inside of her. It was calm. Something she didn't even remembered how it felt. After Richie, Sam never thought about dating again; she couldn't even trust people enough to let them in. But she trusted you; she loved you. There was something about you and your personality that captivated her, and Sam couldn't even figure it out what it was. She didn't wanted to. She was too busy loving you to even think about these things.

That was the scenario for the first few months of your relationship, of course.

She definetly felt a switch turn inside of her after the attacks.

Why did she felt like that? Why did it feel good? When killing Richie, stabbing him, his blood splattering all over the floor and against her face. Seeing his life fade away in her bare hands. Why did it felt right?

It was too much, for her. She had to go to therapy, against her own will. It was scary. She had to switch therapists every now and then everytime she spoke about her feelings. It was too much for them, as well.

These thoughts haunted her. She had dreams about Richie, about the feeling of his blood in her hands, the smell of Amber's burnt skin, the knife piercing through Richie's flesh. And it wasn't helpful when her father decided to show up every now and then to have a little chat with her.

"You know you wanna do it." Sam turned around, scared that someone had broken into her house, but it was just him. Billy Loomis. "It's a human instinct, Sam. It's our instinct."

She took a deep breath, deciding to ignore him, getting back to her chores. It was almost like she could feel his presence in the room physically. She heard him laugh, but promptly ignored him; getting back to cut some vegetables for dinner. "Look at you, Sam. Look how the knife fits perfectly in your hand. It's like you were made for this."

She closed her eyes shut and threw the knife angrily at the sink. "Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" She screamed, turning around and realizing he was finally gone. That was her life now, day after day. The meds were barely working, and therapy was pretty much useless. So, in a last attempt to save the last bits of her sanity, she decided to leave Woodsboro. Maybe that was the solution all along, she thought. She needed to move on, to forget about the trauma, to live a normal life with her family. And maybe, just maybe, New York City would erase all of the past.

--

Sam woke up breathless. Her heart was pounding out of her chest. Another nightmare, like usual. And as always, about you. Dreaming about your death. The thought of you dying was terrifying to her, she felt this need to protect you from everything and everyone at all times and it could be too much for her own sanity sometims.

She looked to the side of the bed, her body shaking when she realised you weren't there.

"(Y/N)?" She got up the bed and looked for you in the bathroom, feeling dizzy and anxious. "(Y/N)??"

She ran to the kitchen, hoping to find you there; which she did. You were making yourself some late night snack with your headphones on, not even paying atention to your surroundings. Her heart finally slowed down, holding the chair next to her to calm herself down. You turned around for whatever reason and saw her there, looking like she ran a marathon. "Baby? Are you okay?"

"I'm- I'm fine." She looked at you, breathless. You took your airpods off, worried. I mean, it was a common thing to see her waking up in the middle of the night; you knew she had nightmares all the time, probably everyday. You made her sit down, holding her head between your hands. "Tell me, what happened this time?"

"You were there... You were-" She didn't even had the guts to say it. She couldn't even think about you dying. "It felt so fucking real."

"I know, baby. I know." You soothed her, sitting in her lap and holding her in your arms. She felt a kiss on the top of her head, and your smell quickly invaded her nostrils; she finally was at peace now. "It was a bad dream, ok? Remember what I told you: These are only..."

"...Only dreams. You're right." She finished the sentence, looking at you, feeling finally at peace. You kissed her head again, getting out of your embrace.

"I'm gonna get you some water, baby."

"No... Stay with me." She whined, like a baby. You laughed and kissed her lips quickly.

"I'm literally 10 steps away from you. I think you can handle a couple of seconds without me, huh?" You answered, going to the fridge to grab her a water bottle. She looked straight at you, waiting for you to be done so she could finally hug you again. You handed her the water bottle and she promptly drank it; nightmares made her really thristy, for some reason. You were getting ready to sit on her lap again but your phone started ringing, making you go in its direction. "Who the fuck is calling me right now?"

You were intrigued, until you saw the number's id. It was your friend from college, Rachel. The two of you got very close ever since you moved to New York. And that bothered the shit out of Sam, mainly because you were talking to her all the time. Laughing with her, going to places with her. She should do all of this stuff with me, she thought.

"Let me guess... Rachel again?" Sam asked, kind of annoyed. The feeling she hated the most started to build up inside of her. She hated sharing.

"She's not that bad, baby. I get that she can be too much sometimes, but you really should give her a chance." You said before answering the phone. You were so naive, Sam thought. You were innocent to the point where you thought that the reason Sam hated her was because of her personality (rightfully so, because Rachel really could be unbearable sometimes). She could be the nicest, friendliest person in the entire world, and that wouldn't change a thing.

To Sam, she was competition. She was the enemy.

You turned away so you could talk to your friend more privately. It wasn't even something that important, probably just some late night movie session that Rachel was having on her own and she called to say how it was going. It was the love for movies that brought you two together; and also your shared hate of Van Helsing and the second triology of Star Wars.

Sam frowned and got up, going to the bathroom to wash her face a little bit. She was stressed. She was angry. This isn't how it was supposed to be.

Stupid. She's so stupid. She can't even wait until morning to call her? Fucking bitch.

She washed her face with a little bit of cold water, but when she was finished and looked herself in the mirror, she saw him again.

"She's so inconvinient, am I right?" He said, blood splattered all over his face and clothes. "Calling your girl at 3 AM, as if she didn't had anything better to do... As if she didn't had a girlfriend to take care of."

"Stop it." She said, quietly. She didn't wanted for you to know that Billy was back.

"Why do you let this happen, Sam? It isn't right. She's yours. Yet here you are, letting her waste your guys' time to talk with another chick. Oh, I thought you were better than that..."

"Please, shut up."

"You know what you need to do. This has gone way too far." He said, seriously. "You need to take her out of your way, Sam."

"I'm not gonna do shit." She took a deep breath, remembering all of the things you said to her when she was anxious, but this time they weren't helping.

"But you should. She's gonna take your girl away. Are you gonna let that happen, Sam? That's not how we do stuff."

"I'm not like you..."

"Don't be like me, then. Be better. Sneak away in the middle of the night."

"Stop."

"Grab your knife with you. Tie your hair in a ponytail."

"Please, stop."

"Slice her wrists and make it look like a suicide."

"Please..."

"Wear the mask, Sam."

"STOP!" She yelled, and looked up. Billy was gone.

"I'll call you later, Rach." You turned off your phone and ran into the bathroom, where you found Sam crying in front of the sink. You took the girl into your arms and caressed her hair softly.  "Baby, I'm so sorry... You're gonna be alright, okay?" Sam nodded in your arms, still crying. She was scared of herself. Scared of him coming back. Scared that this plan would, maybe, come true one day.

And the worst part about all of this is the fact it seemed like a very good idea.

--

It was eating her alive. Everytime you grabbed your phone to talk to her, everytime she called. Or worse, when you invited her over to watch some stupid sci-fi movies. She could do all that shit with me. She should do all that shit with me. That was all she was thinking when she was on her way to her therapist (which, surprisingly, didn't leave when Sam opened up about her feelings). It didn't take long for her to get to the therapist's office; that was something Sam loved about NYC. She would just take the subway and go pretty much everywhere in the city.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this." She said to her doctor, whose name she didn't even bothered to remember at the moment. Other than being a shrink, he was also a psychiatrist, and to Sam, it meant that his hobby was to fill her up with meds she didn't need.

"Doing what, Sam?" The man asked. He was a nice guy, Sam thought. Mid 50s, a velvety type of voice, and was one of the few people in the world that actually listened to her.

"Sharing her. I just, I can't. It's too much."

"She's not your possession, Sam. You know that, I know that." No. He was wrong. You were hers.

"I know." She lied. "But still. It bothers me."

"And how it makes you feel, exactly?"

"Like I'm about to die. Everytime she's not with me. Everytime she spends time with another person, I wished I was dead." Another lie. She didn't wanted to die, she wanted to kill. And deep down, she knew it. She knew Billy was right; it was her instinct. But she couldn't let them take over. She had to be good. For you, and you only.

"She's a grown woman. Don't you think she is allowed to have her own life?"

"I know that. But she could do all that stuff with me. I'm capable of making her laugh, watch some stupid movies with her, or take her to fucking Madison Square Garden or some shit. I'm enough. I'm all what she needs." She said that last part in a whisper. The doctor wrote some things down, before looking at her again.

"How are the meds going, Sam?" She took a deep breath, relaxing in the chair.

"They suck. But I'm still taking them." The therapist smiled.

"That's the spirit." He wrote another thing down. "I know they can be a little bit hard on your body, but you know they help. Are you still having hallucinations?"

"Sometimes. Not like in the past, but still." She looked at the ceiling, unable to make eye contact with the man. It was a tough topic.

"When do you have them, mostly?"

"When I'm angry, or alone." The doctor nodded, making Sam confused. "Why is that?"

"These are the moments that you feel the most vulnerable, and unfortunately that's how this works; it attacks you when it knows that it can get to you." He said, without even using the term that Sam feared the most. "You can't let that happen, Sam. When you feel angry, or when you're alone, try your best to not listen to it. To not listen to him. If it gets really bad I could prescribe you something, but-"

"No. No more meds." Sam interrupted him. "I can handle it."

He nodded. The consult ended quickly, and Sam was already roaming New York City's streets after a couple of minutes. She needed to forget about all of this, in a healthy way. She promised you and Tara to stop drinking, so the only solution she had to forget about all of her shit was to walk.

She grabbed her phone, hoping you'd had texted her. Nothing. Why she wouldn text me? She always texts me after my consult. Sam thought for a second. Opened Instagram, trying to see if you posted anything. She clicked on your stories. Her heart sank to her stomach, seeing a picture of you and Rachel. Of course she was with Rachel. Stupid, fucking Rachel. She didn't even knew you were gonna be with her tonight.

"Why didn't you tell me you were gonna be busy tonight?"

You didn't take long to respond. "I thought I told you, baby. I'm just watching some tv shows with Rach."

Just reading her name made Sam feel nauseous. Rachel. Such an ugly name.

Sam responded your text lovingly, but feeling the opposite inside. All of that anger and fury came back to her. And that was only one thing in her mind right now.

--

Sam waited. 30 minutes, 1 hour. 2 hours. Nothing. You got home after 3 hours of waiting, which made Sam freaking pissed. She was supposed to be with me.

"Hey baby, I'm home! Sorry I took too long..." You got into the apartment, and Sam gave you a fake smile. You walked to te couch, where she was sitting, and sat on her lap, kissing her entire face dozens of times. "I'm sorry, okay? I know that friday's are our nights, but I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"It's fine, baby. Don't worry."

It wasn't fine. Sam wasn't really proud of what she did next, but it was the only solution she could think at the moment. She put a few drops of some allergy meds in your water, to make you sleepy; which happened in about 30 minutes. You both were cuddling while watching some stupid reality show, when you fell asleep. It was te perfect oportunity; Tara was at Chad's dorm, Quinn was at some hookup's place. It was just the two of you. She would be back before you woke up.

Sam changed her clothing. Put on the most generic outfit she could find, nothing special. Grabbed a hair tie. Put a surgical mask on, along with some reading glasses. She felt like fucking Clark Kent. She put some stuff in her backpack and made her way into the streets. She was calm. You wouldn't find out. Never.

Sam was a smart girl, she did her research. She knew Rachel's address by memory, and with a little internet help, she also found out that Rachel was freaking depressed. Damn, how can this be so easy? Thankfully, Rachel lived in a small house right near Brooklyn. It was late at night, no one was walking the streets except for Sam. The whole way there, she felt anxious, but in the best fucking way possible. Sam never felt this good before, only when she was with you. She always felt happy with you.

It didn't took that long for Sam to get there. Sam tied her hair, looking at the girls body right at the window. She was hidden behind a car, which made it easier for her to change into the outfit she brought. A ghostface's outfit.

"Put on the mask, Sam." She heard Billy's voice in her head, making her shiver. "Listen to me this time."

And she did.

Sam entered the house with no difficulty, the girl lived by herself and had a poor security system. She got inside, and did what she was yearning to do for days.

"Sam? What are you doing here?" The girl asked, after Sam revealed herself. She wanted Rachel to ser her, she wanted for her to know who was her killer.

"I'm here to gut you, Rachel."

Sam took the girl down, immobilizing her. Putting all her body weight on the top of hers. She tried to fight back but it was useless, Sam was stronger.

With a razor, she slit both of the girls wrists vertically.

The blood splattered all over the floor, all over Sam's body.

She felt a rush of dopamine immediately. It felt so fucking good. Seeing her life fade away right in front of her. Now (Y/N) would spend all of her time with me.

Sam spent some 10 minutes just looking at the girls dead body, like if it was a piece of art. She took a deep breath, grabbing a wooden pick she brought with her to clean under Rachel's nails, trying to erase each and every bit of Sam's dna that could potentially frame her. She knew it wouldn't have any, but still.

Sam got up, went to the girls computer. Wrote a suicide letter. It was pretty convincible, to be honest.

Before leaving, Sam looked at her lifelesss body one last time, her mouth watering at the sight. Right next to her, was Billy, looking pleased.

"Good job, Sam. I'm proud of you, kid." Sam took a deep breath. "No one is taking your girl away now."

⠀

tags: @laenordeservedbetter @attaccadq

[princessamericachavez]

I still can’t believe how unhinged the couch thing is.

In s5 we see that Taylor brings her couch into the loft even though Buck has one and they have a problem from the get go because both couches (aka their personalities, their lives, their wants) do not fit in at the same time. They are both too attached to their own individual lives and goals to actually share a life. There’s no space for both of them in that home.

Ok anyway moving on Taylor is gone and we have an empty space where she forced her couch into Buck’s space.

Anyway, my point is: 6x1 we have the whole couch conversation and it’s always been such an OBVIOUS metaphor for Buck and Eddie’s relationship that it drives me insane.

“You know, I think it’s weird that he’s struggling to pick a replacement when he has so many excellent options right under his nose.”

“Like you?”

“It’s like he’s choosing not to see them and everything they have to offer.”

In the same season where we now know that Eddie will be exploring his dating options and going out with other people?????? Are you kidding me???????????

Buck saying this while he cooks for Eddie and Chris???? While he offers food and comfort??? In a show that has consistently utilized cooking and feeding others as a clear metaphor for love and family?!?!

And they even hammer it in again!!!

“What are you offering?”

“Right now, Bobby’s famous lasagna.”

I need to talk about thisssss. Because not only have we been presented with the idea of food as love and nurturing but also cooking as personal growth, about learning to nurture yourself and others and getting out of the darkness. Think about Bobby after joining the 118. But also think about Maddie being impressed by Buck “growing up” represented by Buck having learned cooking skills from Bobby. Think about Eddie going to therapy and swapping recipes with Linda and learning to be better and look after himself after getting chewed off by his dad for burning breakfast for his mom and sisters.

What Buck is offering is his own growth as a person. Is saying “I’ve put myself back together”. It’s saying “I’ve been working on myself for five years to become a better man”. It’s saying “it’s taken me several tries but I’m finally getting there.”

And of course after all that it’s when we go fully into the couch metaphor. It’s hard to say much about this dialogue that hasn’t been said before, but mostly I want to highlight that, for Buck, this metaphor is tightly tied to romantic relationships. “My last two couches came with girlfriends” and “maybe I don’t want to pick the wrong couch again”. But it’s also the fact that Buck picks his chair to take the couch’s spot for now. That is Buck. Buck being single.

The whole metaphor could’ve simply been about Buck realizing he doesn’t need a relationship to define him and who he is and that he should choose his own path and create a space in his home for himself. But if that was the case he would’ve just bought a couch for himself. The single chair represents his single path at the moment. The couch will be a romantic metaphor.

All of this to say that it’s absolutely unhinged that this is the last shot of Eddie we see in 6a.

And this comes after a) Buck called to give them the baby news, b) Eddie looked less than pleased at the reveal, c) Eddie hung up saying he was gonna try to get some sleep before taking Chris to school.

Except we see him drop the controller here. So he clearly kept playing. Even though he looked quite frustrated there. Fighting with himself. Anyway clearly something was bothering him.

What’s insane to me is that we cut immediately from this shot to Buck sleeping and the whole baby onesie shot. And I don’t think it could be any more obvious that we are meant to connect these two dots. Especially when we see them in the same montage as Henren and Maddnie sleeping together on their respective beds. And we know Buck’s whole donor thing was partly motivated by other things, like his need to be useful to others and save everyone, but also his eternal search for family and perhaps a call to fatherhood (even though he’s clearly not struggling with separating the idea as everyone expected).

Anyway, I do think having Eddie sleep on his couch rather than his bed was certainly A CHOICE. and it feels even more obvious when we know what happens in 6b.

I love that the Buckley’s brought up Buck’s lack of couch an episode before. HEY REMEMBER THIS? And it’s so much A Thing that we see that even Maddie gets it.

Which is so important considering the very. next. episode. we are going to get the most obvious callback to this metaphor in the shape of Buck finally finding rest and peace at Eddie’s couch?!?!?!

THEY ARE SO UNHINGED FOR THIS

And then they go as far as to have Buck point out “how did I pass out so fast?”

Like boyyyyyy you’re this 🤏🏽 close to figuring it out!!!!!!!

Anyway I cannot WAIT to see how they bring it up again and how Margaret’s couch finds its demise and especially knowing Buck’s very last scene of the season will touch back on the metaphor.

It will be so insane if they actually pull this off!!!!!!!

[spookyscaryskidnpump]

my thoughts on spooky month 6

copy pasted from a page and a half of google doc. crying. spoilers inbound.putting it under the cut cuz its super long. also swear warning.

Ok to start off LILA. LILA MY GAL NO UR DOING UR BEST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Im crying im actually fucginf crying. She's trying. So hard. Skid is trying so hard. THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST PLEASEEEEE. Father Gregor can go EAT SHIT. THEY'RE TRYING AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS GODDAMNIT.

Susie… Susie no… please… she deserves better istgggggg. What happened to their parents? Are they actually just busy? Are they DEAD? Holy shit what if they're dead. Poor Pump, poor Susie, god please just let these kiddos be ok. PLEASE. ABUELO WONDER IS TYING SO HARD BUT SUSIE KNOWS IT ISN'T REALLY FROM HER PARENTS IM CRYING. SUSIE NOOOOOO

FATHER GREGOR I HATE YOU. ok well he obvs did some good but STILL. GREGOR. STFU GREGOR. I get that hes trying but U CANT JUST SAY ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT JUDGEMENT AND THEN JUDGE HER HER FUCKING HOUSE GOT BROKEN INTO!! YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING CONTEXT!!!! ARGHFDGHJSGHJKAGHSD. Also DAMN IS HE A CULTIST NOW?? IS HE DEAD?? WHAT?!?!?!

ROYYYYYY ROY MY BOI NOOOOOO poor guy :( i understand why he hates the kids they DID kinda ruin him so. At least he knows theyre trying now :( and ross n rob just ASSUME he did something bad isnt helping here!!!! I get that theyre also trying to help him and its nice to see him opening up to them about stuff (even if we dont get to know what specifically PELO WHY) but PLEASE get this kid an anger management class or smthn PLEASE. He needs SO MUCH THERAPY. I dont think hes gonna get therapy because im pretty sure his parents are Part Of The Problem but STILL.  Also FUCKER LITERALLY GOT POSSESED BY A DEMON?????? THATS GOTTA BE TRAUMATIC TF

Side note i love ross and robert dearly and i appreciate them doing their best to help on both sides i love them smmmmmm AUGH

KEVIN AND RADFORD FRIENDSHIP REALLLLLLLLLL i am SO fucking happy about that!!!! Also Kevin having conflicted feelings on the kids FAIR. Similar thing to Roy except hes an adult with a semi-functional support network and is able to understand that theyre just dumb kids and they dont actually mean any harm. He’s harsher on the hatzgang cuz theyre teens and old enough to know stealing is wrong but Skid n Pump are little kiddos they dont know better. Also him disapproving of father gregor REAL THO. also HE GOT POSSESSED TOO?? TRAUMA CENTRAL HOLY SHIT

PATTY DESERVES TO HAVE A GUN ACTUALLY. Also JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST! IS HIS KID DEAD? IS HIS DAUGHTER OK HOLY SHIT. ALSO THEM HELPING THE KIDS PROPERLY IM CRYIG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

WHAT WAS EVERMORE DOING WITH THE HOBOMEN???? HELLO??????

I SAW THAT CULT NECKLACE UNDER IGNACIOS SHIRT. I FUCKING SAW IT. CALLED IT BITCH!!!!!!

Rick just has the WORST luck lmao

STREBER IS ALIVE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DEXTER NO PLEASE AUGH…… HIS MOM TOO……

JAUNE AND ROSS’S DAD… HE'S REAL HE EXISTS!! I get ur trying jaune but that is NOT the best way to comfort poor lila… AT LEAST SHES TRYING THO I APPRECIATE HER

THE ENTIRE NEWGROUNDS ENDING?? THE THIEVES AND THE CANDY DEALER IN CAHOOTS WITH THE CULT???? HELLO??????

MOLOCH IS GONE. he deserved it but also THE KIDS ARE SO SAD ABOUT IT? Like they don't really get it but they just watched someone they thought was their friend DIE. HOLY SHIT.

finally. SKID AND PUMP. KIDDOS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok for real tho theyre so much more self aware than the fandom and bulk of the show give them credit for?? Like Skid is VERY aware of his dad being dead/possibly missing and legit just doesn’t wanna talk about it. He knows what death is and he finds fun in it to cope. My poor sweet boyo… and PUMP. PUMP ANSWERING THE CALL AUGHHHHHH HE WANTS HIS PARENTS BACK IM CRYING. SUSIE AND ABUELO ARE DOING THEIR BEST AND HE'S TRYING SO HARD AND AAAAAAAAAAUGH. Also him getting possessed by Moloch while having Star-Eyes basically debunks the theory of the Star-Eyes being a form of possession which is FASCINATING. Anyway that scene with Susie and Pump got me misty eyed and then during the ending with Skid and Lila i actually genuinely started crying. I just want them to be happy. Please let them be happy. Please. PLEASE.

[theshopkeepofremnant]

I have so many feelings about this finale.

So. Many.

I love that it subverted my expectations in the way that rwby so often does. They set up this episode as an intensely personal one. And it was, but not at all like I thought.

I expected a huge Summer lore dump. Instead we got one incredibly illuminating scene that raises a million other questions but more effectively spoke to Ruby and her pain than anything I could imagine.

I expected a long conversation where Ruby basically got therapy from the blacksmith but instead I saw something smaller, simpler: I saw Ruby realize that despite all of her flaws and pain and imperfections, she was enough. I saw her take a deep breath and rise from the lowest point of her life. And while the moment was triumphant, it wasn’t a magical waving away of her problems (though many so-called critics will claim it was). It was just her getting back up. It wasn’t the end of the journey, it was the beginning, and I love it.

So this happened and I had a moment where I felt lost. It was great, it all worked, but it was quick. What was going to happen for the remaining ten or so minutes? Elevator music?

Then I got hit with the lore dump I NEVER expected. I know I wasn’t alone in assuming that the Ever After was just some toy realm. In a way, I was right, but in every way that mattered, I was wrong.

I never expected to learn of the origin of the Brothers.

I never expected to find out that the Ever After is basically the origin point of the Remnant multiverse.

And I never expected that the tree and the blacksmith were the true creator(s) of it all. I had assumed the smith was powerful in her little pocket dimension, but nothing more. Instead it turns out she casually made some gods then (created?) set them off into a wider universe when they grew bored, all so they could learn and grow.

And she knows about those worlds. She knows about Remnant. She knows when RWBY will be needed and intentionally sent them to that point in time and space. She clearly isn’t one to interfere directly, but I think it’s equally clear she isn’t unwilling to sway things.

I also don’t think she approves of what her creations have done, how they’ve comported themselves. She’s such a different image of a god, and now that we’ve seen her the brothers seem so small and petulant.

Where they are big and flashy she is quiet and simple. Where they are brash and demanding, she is patient and helpful. She is everything one could wish a god to be, while they destroyed a planet and left a woman that they made immortal to wander its surface alone for millennia.

Because she hurt their feelings.

And they believe they can stand and judge humanity?

The implications of the new cosmology are fascinating. I feel like we will see the brothers again, and likely even their creator, and it could be glorious.

Then again, this show loves to subvert my expectations, so who knows?

I can’t wait to find out!

[misskingshit]

𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 summary: The love that the two of you have for each other is immense, but the problems exceed it in size. note: I watched the two seasons of OBX and the truth is that I love it, I'm a little worried about the fact that instead of sending Rafe to therapy they want to put a love interest on him, I hope they don't ruin it. I know that Rafe was not at the scene of John B's trial where he is sentenced and all, but let's pretend that he was. xoxo

"Is this a joke? Like, are we in hell or...?" Kiara started to say.

"I shouldn’t have come home," Sarah continues.

You were just silent, your best friend since childhood convicted of something he didn't do, quite the contrary, he is the victim.

But the worst part, without a doubt...

The boy you love being the culprit, the one who gets away with it, a murderer. Seeing him there, at Peterkin's funeral and now at the trial as if nothing had happened, serious, staring at you.

All of this just didn't make sense.

"They're going to kill him, guys. I know."

"JJ shut up" you looked at him, your dark circles revealing the fact that you hadn't slept well in weeks, your voice raspy and broken, the fact that you weren't well at all "please shut up".

"Could you please shut up" Kie begins to attack a group of men who came with Ward and... Rafe.

"Kie let's just go" you tried to convince her.

"No, of course you think that justice worked because it was made to protect you and people like you..."

She continued to shoot (truths) at Ward and even though you loved her for it, you wished with all your might that she would shut up and get out of there, you didn't want to have him in front of you right now.

"The pogue got what he deserved" you heard his voice for the first time all day, that beautiful voice that one day was your safe place, but now it's the place you feared the most.

"How can you say that?" it came out, you couldn't control it, your voice cuts off at a moment when you couldn't believe it "how? I don't understand it" you looked into his eyes, watery like yours. He couldn't resist seeing you like this, having you away.

"Babe, come home, we'll talk about this, we..." Rafe got closer and closer to you, but when he was about to reach you, a blonde hair stood between you two "stay away from her, dude" Jj blurted out hard.

"She won't come to your house murderer, because that's what you are, a murderer!" Kie did not hold back "It's not a coincidence that your sister and your girlfriend are sitting with us" your friend said for the last time.

The officers separated them and finally each group went their own way, but not before noticing Rafe's look on you, somewhat hurt and hateful on the blonde.

———

You didn't really know what to do, you just closed the cafeteria where you work, the sign clearly said closed and being the only one inside with most of the lights off, it was very strange for you to hear the doorbell ring at the entrance. Seeing him, you just wanted to run away.

"It's closed" you said looking down, intending to continue cleaning the table.

"I know" silence "I just..."

"You should go" you said emphatically.

"No, we should talk about this" you quickly turned your head towards him.

"Talk? What exactly do you want to talk about? Huh? How you ki..." Shit you couldn't even say it out loud. He was a murderer.

"I love you, nothing else matters, I love you and I want to have you with me, by my side, forever" little by little he came closer to you, for each step he took forward you took one back.

"Rafe, I'm scared" you started to cry "I'm scared of you, you... you killed Peterkin and you don't even seem to feel guilty about it" you cried even more "you tried to kill John B and something tells me that Sarah will be next" .

Rafe's face was suffering, he could kill without remorse...but that you are afraid of him, no, that broke his heart.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, I would never do anything to you, never, I couldn't" he whispered "I love you so much and I'm not willing to lose you" his voice breaks.

He approaches and this time you don't walk away "I love you too, Rafe, I love you with all that I am, but I can't, I can't, I shouldn't" his hands rest on your face wiping away your tears "this is not fair Rafe, why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to us?"

Silence, that's all you received from him.

"I love you Rafe, I probably always will, but I can't go through with this" you said with what little voice you had left.

You kissed him, one last kiss...

Or so you thought.

———

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, sooo i’m sorry in advance for any mistakes.

[mostowa]

Justice for Chenford aka my inital thoughts after 6x07

Ok, for starters. I really liked the episode. I liked that it was slow paced with all of them dealing one case and that it was basically the whole episode about Chenford and the aftermath of break up. I loved it, because it just shows that writers know how important it was for us and for them (the whole Mid-Wilshire gang) to process that. Now when I think about it I am kind of surprised they decided to not write any Angela/Tim scene, but I guess they are this type of friendship, when they are always for each other, but not necessarily on a daily basis. As for other things:

Tim and therapy. I am so proud of my boy. I really loved how they write it. I loved that nobody made him do the therapy and Grey even allowed him an opt-out that he chose. His initial defensivenes towards London was so in-character. I think that it was very good he decided to go on his own (did he? let me get to this in the separate point :D), I also liked that all of his major problems were highlighted in this episode, which we all identified (I mean @theflyindutchwoman could be Tim's therapist at this point lol). I am really happy that Tim is also still good at his job. It was a great scene with Grey, because Tim was actually surprised he did so good, when he was still thinking he is shit at everything he does (he is not).

Lucy I really like how she's been written, too. Obviously she went through a lot. But it's very clear after this episode that she is the one that is mature and much better grounded. Ok, she is a bit alone, but I think there is a whole new chapter starting for her with Celina --- I really like it. They haven't had much interaction until now, but I feel they will bond a lot over energies, cat personalities and mental problems. They will be a good team. Lucy is obviously dealing with breakup much better than Tim because, well, she is dealing with it. Pairing with Grey was great too and I loved how he had this "I'm your boss but also kind of dad" dynamic. It was great. I loved that Tamara was there for her. I even liked the "imma invite everyone else" just to show Tim she doesn't want to see him. This one wasn't mature, but it was very Lucy and nobody ever acts 100% mature over break up ahahaha.

Chenford I love mad Lucy and lost Tim and I was kind of hoping for this kind of dynamics so I'm happy they went for that. The final scene crushed me, but only in the right way. I feel it was so necessary and it's good that it was awkward. I loved that Tim went for a safe ground with work talk, because he, well, he just wanted to feel close with her and this is how they were close. It's good that she called him out on that, too. I think we will get this mature talk between them, but I'm glad it didn't happen now. I'm sure Tim wouldn't be able to take the mature stuff from Lucy. I genuinely think that this convo was the tipping point for Tim for going to therapy. I think it is once again Lucy that makes him choose right things and I am so in love with that. I'm happy she opened his mind.

dr London Y'all need to come down. For me, if anything, dr London in this episode proved that she is 100000% professional. All she did with Tim is to talk about his issues, she was very strong with that and she was also very good in not taking Tim's BS haha. She is a professional, extremely observant and I think a good therapist. As for the last scene, for me it showed only the sense of urgency. It showed how much Tim actually wants to work on himself (I think he feels he is losing Lucy a bit) and that he wants to work on it right now. Of course, we won't know what is going to happen and of course feelings towards therapist are not an uncommon in therapy and especially when patient is so lost, but I really hope they won't go down this path, because it would feel a little cheap.

Overally I loved how they wrote it. I love they went for the very Rookie path of dealing with the stupid decision the right way. I love that there are some seeds thrown to grow and I think this is one of the most in-character episodes we got all season. I'm anticipating the show again and I'm happy!

I am also curious who is going to be the officer down and I'm loving that we will get some more action!

[ariscats]

Jameson analyzes part 2: Traumas (or a very long rant against Emily Laughin, who I cant be bother to learn how to spell her last name)

“Cause I've made some real big mistakes/ But you make the worst one look fine/ I should've known it was strange/ You only come out at night/ I used to think I was smart/ But you made me look so naive/ The way you sold me for parts/ As you sunk your teeth into me, oh/ Bloodsucker, famefucker/ Bleedin' me dry, like a goddamn vampire”

So there is this girl, who comes at his house every summer and has a heart diesse. She cant live so everyone has to do whatever she asks to make it up for it. Then one day she gets a surgery and now she gets to live, and who is her ticket to living? Jameson and Grayson.

Emily is his first kiss. However, 3 seconds after SHE KISSES HIS BROTHER WHO HE ALREADY INSECURE ABOUT BECAUSE OF HIS F. GRANDFATHER. And you have to be pretty dumd to not realize that what emily really wanted in the scene is Grayson to kiss her and she just used Jameson because she could (I still can’t believe that Emily did “loved” Gray more than Jameson).

Then she moves to his city and goes to his school. And, as far as a bitch she is, she must have been rl something because she became the most popular girl at school.

(Now, this is where things get tricky. I’m going to use the version fo what I believe happened. If you have another version you can picture like that)

Then they start dating. They borh want to live and do things because they can rather because they should. She got her golden ticket to freedom and he got the attention he’s been craving his whole life. They do everything together because she wants more and he wants more and nothing is never enough for them. So Jameson takes her to do everything they have the right to because Jameson is, at te end of the day, a good boyfriend.

But, its still not enough for Emily. Because she goes after fucking Grayson AND HE DOES THE SAME TING AS JAMESON BECAUSE THEY ARE THE OPOSITE SIDE OF THE SAME COIN.

Then they start fighting. Best friends for their whole life, but they slowly start to hate each other because fucking Emily turned everything INTO A GAME, MAKING LOVE A GAME THE SAME WAY TJEIR FAMILY HAS BEEN TRAUMATAZING THEM THEIR WHOLE LIFES. AND SHE KEEPS A FUCKING SCORE OF WHO HAS MORE POINTS, BY VOICE RECORDING.

Then one beautifull day Rebecca decides that betrayl by both ends doesnt hurts and tells Jameson about the scores and sends him the audio Emily made.

Jameson Hawthorne had to listen the girl he ruined his life for for over a year sumarize him and his love as some points. He breaks up with her, and she decides to go after Grayson. And then she jumps. But he is also there, because love and family are never that simple and jameson is a tiny bit (read in the level of therapy) of a masochist. And then SHE BLINKS AND LAUGHS AT HIM AND WHEN HE FINALLY MANAGES TO GO AWAY SHE START HAVING HEART PROBLEMS. BUT SHE HAS PLAYED HIM SO MUCH THAT HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT REALITY IS ANYMORE, and she hadnt had any heart problems for the past 4 years. So he leaves and she dies, and hell breakes lose.

He lost a girl he has know his whole life. He just “learned” that his love arent worth more than some points, he just got out of a increadibly toxic relasionship that ruined his life. The healthy thing would have been if he had some safe space to talk about what Emily did to him and have a strong support system. But everyone he knows is muroning her. They see her as an angle, so everything she did to him goes under the traps because how do you even dare to say something about dear angle Emily. And he has to live with the fact that he belives he killed her. And he cant also talk about anyone about that, for obvious reasons (but his grandfather knows and uses that against him).

Remember what I said about him being a masochist? Now is the era of his great self destruction (with an almost suicide attempt there, that his grandfather was present again and used that agaisnt him, *again*). Its all buttom up in him and he feels angry and sad and nothing. And between these 3, he chose anger. Also, Thea blames the Hawthorne for a death they didnt cause because who dares to say something bad about angles emily? So she puts the whole school agaisnt him and makes school unberable to him. Everyone likes to joke about Jameson missing school but has anyone ever wondered why he hated there so much? He didnt skiped class because he was a rebel 😝🤘but because everyone f. hated him and made his life hell.