#the thing about having a fucked up childhood is

[inbabylontheywept]

I have read only 2 of your posts and I fucking love your writing so much

I'm a little bit shellshocked. I started writing about 3 years ago in the HFY genre - it was the first time since I started college that I felt like I had a free minute, and of course it was the last year. Anyway, three years of doing these fun little scifi stories that let me show off my engineering knowledge, and then some fantasty, and that went well, and then i did a story time, and I made it as kind of a shitpost and it blew the fuck up. I am, apparently, pretty good at scifi and really, really, really good at storytime. Which makes sense, I guess - three years of Just Writing Experience, but a whole childhood of campfire stories.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to tell me. It means a lot. I've said it before, but my writing is my favorite thing about myself, and I like myself. It's the cherry on top of a good sized mountain.

[stxrslut]

I think the reason why so many people hate dark content is because they don’t understand it.

Incest for example has been a big topic on this side of tumblr as kinktober approaches and a few writers, including myself have mentioned it.

why is writing incest bad? It’s not, up front. the moment it becomes bad is when you romanticise it. the same goes for other dark topics, for example necrophilia or blatant rape.

acknowledging that these things exist is not a bad thing, and neither is acknowledging that there are certain people out there who do it. it is a horrible truth that nobody wants to exist, but it does.

using the infamous rafe cameron as an example, why would you want to read an incest piece about him?

rafe is a complicated character, and a very bad person. a lot of writers don’t like to take that into account. I’m sure we’ve all seen many works where rafe is portrayed as a sweetheart, a perfect husband who cares and would never do anything to harm you.

this portrayal of rafe has become the norm for many people on this platform. and so upon seeing dark content, they are trying to imagine it with this completely different character. the version of rafe that is romanticised.

when we write this content we don’t write it with that rafe in mind. we don’t want to be with this version of rafe that we’re writing, this is a bad character and we absolutely recognise it when writing him.

of course, as mentioned there are people who are imagining it with romanticised rafe, and also assume that was the rafe it was intended to be written with.

if that was the case then writing this content most definitely would be bad.

but why would we write dark content with a reader insert if we didn’t want this to happen to us? what is the point? that’s a valid question.

primarily, self insert or ‘x reader’ is just the format that we write in. even though we may be imagining our name and or face it’s not necessarily us. reader is just a character, let’s use puppy!reader for an example, she has her own characteristics specific to the reader or character. I don’t think I am puppy reader, but I love to use her character to write a reader.

self insert and second person writing is also a very good way to explore the thoughts, feelings and actions in a character in very great detail, which a lot of writers very much enjoy doing.

this is also another misconception that people make. because in some of the situations the reader goes along with / wants these things to happen, which is very easy to mistake for writer wanting it too.

so now we know that self insert does not mean desire. but even if we don’t desire this, why do we write it?

there are many reasons. one is character analysis. there are plenty of bad characters out there, and they would do that. we are simply acknowledging that.

we like to explore complexities and nuances of characters. this character would want to do that and so how would that play out? who would it be with and what would the feelings and emotions be? it’s interesting to explore darker parts of different characters.

another reason is trauma, to people without it that sounds ridiculous. but people with trauma in these kinds of situations may find comfort or control in reading about it in a safe environment.

I have a lot of childhood trauma, and there are certain pieces of writing centred around that kind of thing can really help me to think about it and help me to control the way I think about it.

now there are some aspects of dark content that we may say we “want”, but that is generally misunderstood.

let’s use a sentence I have said many a time, “I want rafe to fuck me with a gun”. no, I absolutely do not.

I am into humiliation and power play, I also enjoy a little bit of fear and pain in some circumstances. in a safe environment, for example, a fictional one, a gun would be a perfect way to do these things.

obviously in real life I wouldn’t let anyone come near me with a gun. it’s all about interpretation and understanding of safe environments.

when I’m reading a fic where gun play may be involved I read about the humiliation and power play and all sorts and think oh fuck that is sexy. because it is, in this very safe place where a gun is not going to harm me or anyone.

the same goes for lots of other forms of dark content. we might not necessarily want the exact action, but more the sensation or feeling that comes with the action.

but why would we write it when people are going to be triggered by it?

simply put, that is not our problem. I haven’t ever come across a piece of dark content that wasn’t correctly labelled and warned.

I’m not responsible for anyone else’s media consumption, if they choose to ignore my warnings it is entirely their fault.

also, free will exists, if someone decides they don’t like what they’re reading they can simply close the piece, stop reading.

in a nutshell, if someone who writes dark content is 1. not romanticising it and 2. labelling it correctly, you don’t have a reason to target them.

learning to distinguish between dark content and predatory content is so important so we’re not attacking the wrong people.

please stop targeting writers who write dark content when there are people out there who genuinely are horrible who we do need to be targeting. focus your attention on the real issues.

[heavywithourbabies]

Ok. Let me get in front of it. I fucking LOVE this. The utterly exhausted, completely over it, aches and pains everywhere, just miserably fucking pregnant as fuck. I can practically hear her body screaming to get this fucking kid out of me.

It massively turns me on. The absolute struggle. The heavy swollen burden weighing you down. The painfully swollen tits and the engorged raw nipples. The braxton hicks and the shooting lightening crotch. How you need to carry around extra panties because you are leaking between your thighs, and it is hot and wet like a god damn swamp, and you're so ashamed of all the discharge and creaminess....not to mention soaking through all your maternity tops because your milk came in crazy early....

Yes. I am aroused immensely by all of that. I get off knowing it's so hard and you're done and it's my fault you're hurting because I got between your legs nine months ago.

I enjoy all of the pregnancy suffering. But if i'm being honest, that's just a weird lizard like response from my brain. I have a sadistic streak of wanting my woman to bear the heavy burden of my children.

It just gets me off.... but in reality, knowing you are hurting and aching so bad, and God, the trials of actual labor and birth on your poor body, it makes me feel really really bad. Cause i know i did this to you and I can't take it back.....

I'm not gonna get into a sob story about the Ghost Hosts less than stellar childhood and if i'm being perfectly up front, a little bit of molest happened. Just a scoop. but it left me with this weird need to feel powerful as a man, and that my cock can do all this damage with just one little sperm and fuck you up completely....

I know some of my stuff can be problematic. i'm looking more around at other pregnancy blogs and I honestly don't like some of the ugliness I see. But I played a part and god forgive me, I still get rock hard for the uncomfortable ache of the third trimester, so I guess i need to own it a little.

I'm working on myself and trying to evolve. Things can't stay this stagnant with the same keeping women down under your control like attitude. We are given the best gift of all if any women decides to carry our babies. That means something.

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Connected to this story

After Bruce Wayne has regained his bearings and been dragged to a lounge room at Ra's castle and has been reinforced that he has a son with Talia, Jason knew and now his in-law is Ra Al Ghul.

Bruce, still in his batsuit, lays on the ground in Talia's study trying to remain his usual calm and composed self, but can only repeat a mantra.

Bruce: I have a child with Talia. I have a child with Talia. I have a child with Talia. I have a child with Talia. I have a child with Talia...

Talia: Is it that bad?

Bruce looks over at Talia as she holds tea.

Bruce (whimpering): Oh God I'm linked to you through a child!

Talia: My father was right, you would hate Damian!

Bruce: I do not hate Damian. I'm... Having a lot of thoughts racing in my head, but having a kid isn't the issue. I've raised three. Adopted Dick when he was 8. I'm upset that the woman I thought I cut off ties with wouldn't be linked to me again.

Talia: Our relationship did not last, it's difficult for me to accept that, but Bruce, come on, you have to admit we had good times together. My father is Ra, but he's not who you had a child with.

Bruce: Oh God, Ra is that precious boy's grandfather.

Bruce buries his head on the ground and screams.

Bruce: Damn gas station condoms!

Talia rolled her eyes while drinking from her tea glass.

Talia: I'll have you know, my childhood was only filled with normal discipline, he stabbed me in my ankle twice and then stopped. Mostly because I expected those sneak attacks.

Bruce: Talia, I swear to Christ if he has done that to Damian I will murder him three times.

Talia: No...not that I'm aware of.

Talia takes a long sip from her glass while glancing away at Bruce.

Bruce rolled on to his back and stared at the ceiling.

Bruce: I've deprived that cute boy's 9 years of a semi-normal childhood. I saw you with the baby too and I thought nobody would be STUPID enough to have a kid with you. I'm the stupid one.

Talia (smirking): You think he's cute?

Bruce whimpers to signify he means yes.

Talia: Our DNA worked together well then.

Talia giggles, but Bruce isn't in the mood.

Bruce: You're as delusional as I remember.

Talia: Bruce, get up, sit next to me, have tea.

Bruce groaned, stood up and sat a good distance from Talia. He removed his cowl and sighed accepting his son, but now worried for his safety.

Bruce: I swear to you, the ch- Damian isn't my issue. I'm not the type of man who wants nothing to do with their child. I will never be a deadbeat. I'm glad I'm not shooting blanks, the issue is- I mean no offense, but kind of do- Not a child from you! You and I have clashing ideals and now we have a child.

Talia takes a sip from her tea cup.

Talia: I grew up with this family, I'm not mad. Bruce, you're going to make a great father.

Bruce: 9 years later.

Talia: Yeah, apologizes it took me that long to tell you he was yours and that I had a child, but that's not a bad thing. How about ... You take him to Gotham. You're rich so he'll be used to your privileged living and he can spend time there.

Bruce: Spend time there- He's not returning here! Not any longer!

Talia: Oh come on, I'm raising him incredibly well.

Bruce: Around Ra Al Ghul?

Talia: Y- Yes. On his birthday we have him fight assassins and punishments aren't that bad.

Bruce (seething): You got me fucked me! You got me fucked up! You have me talking like I'm from lower Jersey! He's staying with me and I'm getting his stuff. That is my son! Not just yours and damn sure not Ra! I have a say in my son's life! Got it!

Talia (impressed): Okay, I like this energy. He'll want to return here for proper raising, but he can spend a few months with you and then we'll humor him and see who he wants to stay with.

Bruce: Me. Me. He's living with me. I might have him visit- You can visit him. You, not Ra!

Talia (pretending to be ignorant): Yeah, he'll stay for a few months. I'm getting what you're putting down.

Bruce: You're seriously not! Talia look at me, Damian WAYNE will be living with me from here on out.

Talia stands, placing her tea cup on the table.

Talia: Mm-hm, we'll see what Damian decides.

Bruce rubbed his forehead, trying not to cuss Talia out.

Talia: I'll go tell him to pack his things, you're going to have to talk to my father and I'm not sure if you remember this, you blacked out at a certain point, but Jason Todd was aware I had the child, kept it secret for revenge, Damian has visited Gotham to be babysat by him, and he helped raise him for 9 years. Okay, got that off my chest. Damian, let's talk!

Talia scurries out of the room as Bruce stands there, shocked at this new information. He had blocked out that particular part. Now that he remembered this his face turned red with rage.

Bruce (whispering in rage): He had his reasons. He had his reasons. He had his reasons. He had his reasons. He had his reasons. He had his reasons.

Bruce leaves the tea room in a huff.

Bruce: Jason, let's talk!

[wannaeatramyeon]

We got baby/childhood panel of Daniel, Jake, Zack, Johan, and recently Gun.

I can't stop think on how cute and chubby baby Gun is lol

Lookism 520 spoiler!

Lol. This feels very duality of man. Baby Gun coming out with UI made me lol.

Ok, gather round for Ramyeon's retelling of chapter 520.

So PTJ, with his fondness for SAD backstories cooked up one for Gun. And while it's not terrible and I didn't get food poisoning, it's tasting a bit bland because everyone is getting a SAD backstory and it's getting old y'know?

Onto the chapter-

Everyone is in love with Daddy Yamazaki, and for some reason that is bad and all the ladies chop their pinkies off to idk repent for their sins or something but even though the relationship appears to be consensual because he's had sex consensually with them all, it's still the women's fault.

In the end, the great big kind man that Daddy Yamazaki is lets them all carry his kids. Thank the heavens.

Daddy Yamazaki has Smaller Bro Yamazaki who also has a son btw (Haruto) - this is sort of important but it's hard to really feel much for them cos the son character (Haruto) has just been introduced in this chapter and will be likely killed off soon.

Anyway, I digress.

All the babies born are unimpressive so far. And you may think wtf how are babies unimpressive. Babies are just babies. Well, that's because Gun comes whooshing out the (Korean) womb with UI. Bro has built in UI from the start, kinda an impossible standard to reach so fine I get why the other babies are unimpressive.

Although if all the babies are unimpressive apart from Gun, the common denominator here is Daddy Yamazaki so maybe everyone should point the finger at him instead. Hmmm.

The chapter fast forwards to show Gun is a prodigy, he masters his training. He's only five and a kid, so he plays around with his friend but gets slapped by his mother for being a kid because it's not becoming of a future gang leader.

So even though he's FIVE, he still gets told to 'act accordingly' lol.

I think there's another timeskip, or PTJ really has lost the plot and forgotten what five year olds look like (tbh he has forgotten what 'elementary school' aged kids look like too) and Gun, genius that he is and following his mother's words takes down all the gangs in ONE DAY. WHEW.

But, PTJ is trying to desperately show it's nurture not nature. Gun wanted normal things but has been moulded to become a monster.

Gun's mother praises him for his violence and his deeds, and Gun wonders 'Huh, if mother dearest loves when I fight, and I must fight to be loved, what happens if I'm violent towards her?'. He punches her and gets praised for it.

Please see above point.

And another fast forward in time (presumably) to Gun trying to squish butterflies like the maniac he is.

Anyway, remember Smaller Bro Yamazaki's kid, Haruto, that was mentioned? Well he's the only one throughout that looked at Gun as if he was normal and told Gun he was free to do as he wants. He doesn't have to fight. Or have to be a leader if he doesn't wanna.

And sweet lil Gun doesn't really wanna, so he makes up his mind and tells Smaller Bro Yamazaki.

Smaller Bro Yamazaki loses his shit and is all who the fuck told you this nonsense. Gun snitches on Haruto, and this snitch doesn't get stitches and instead Haruto does when Smaller Bro Yamazaki tells Gun to kill Haruto. His own father tells Gun to kill HIS kid!

Dun dun dun CLIFFHANGER!

Overall very sad, very unfortunate. But please see my first point about PTJ's cooking.

I'm assuming in the coming chapters Haruto gets killed off. I would be super surprised if he doesn't because Gun, despite me being delusional and thinking he's just a sweet lil blorbo, is something of a murderous psychopath. It's more fitting of his character if he just kills off Haruto even if he has a moment of hesitation or any regrets.

Hope that helps!

[american-neurotypical]

oh my god what the fuck.

so i was scrolling the wikipedia article for visual snow syndrome, cuz i was bored. and it said, with no citation so don't take this as a fact that they're linked, that vss is associated with something called tmd. temporomandibular joint dysfunction.

so i decided to read the article for tmd, and i realized it is related to a specific type of jaw issue. (i am too dumb to explain it sorry)

so. i've had jaw issues for a long time. at 9 years old i remember freaking kids out my popping my jaw out of its socket. (i don't know if i actually did that, but that was how i described it as a kid) when i was 10, the dentists noticed that i had a HUGE overbite. it was there since forever, but they finally decided to do something about it i guess.

so for a good few years, i had to wear headgear. originally i was supposed to get jaw reconstruction surgery. but the orthodontist they sent me to thought headgear would be better.

a couple years ago, while i was at a check up at the orthodontist, they started talking about my jaw condition. i didn't know i had a specific condition, i just thought it was only a severe overbite that caused none of my teeth to touch.

but, they said estrogen caused one of my jaw plates to get all fucked up, inflamed and shit.

(i half jokingly use this as proof that my body is meant for testosterone instead LOL)

i didn't get the chance to ask what it was, so i've been lightly researching jaw conditions that are worsened by estrogen and nothing coming up.

but the day i decide to randomly look at wikipedia for visual snow syndrome is the day i might've found out what fucked up jaw thing i actually have.

now, who knows, i might have something else, but the similarities between my childhood jaw thing and the symptoms of tmd is just. holy fuck.

it is even associated with rheumatoid arthritis, which runs in my family. i even have another disease that is also associated with rheumatoid arthritis.

my mom doubts that i have it, because she said that the doctors would have told us if i did. and even then, i got treatment in childhood and so most of the symptoms i don't have anymore.

a step in the right direction at least.

[euryvices]

weird things about my town that lowkey remind me of tma

god, this is going to be a long post.

okay so. i grew up in a town in the middle east (about 200 people), with my bestfriend Whom I Will Not Shut The Fuck Up about apparently, and it was a strikingly different experience to most people who've grown up in the middle east, or in america. it was yk, a rich people town, populated and run mostly by generational wealth owners. as a result, our town was very hush-hush, despite it being in the Crackass Of Nowhere.

i started listening to tmagp about two months back, under the instructions (*cough cough coercion cough cough*) of my lovely moots (im looking at you @forflightlessbirds and @need-a-name-101) i've noticed a few things which may be...off.

the first thing i need to clarify are the rules. we had five of them, that nobody really stuck to, but we all knew of. the rules in and of themselves are normal things any parent tells their child, but weirdly specific. there weren't really any repercussions if we didn't stick to the rules - but most of the time, we didn't like breaking them. they were, as follows :

don't tell strangers your real name, and if you do, run and tell the head of the community center.

if people approach you about 'coming to god' (i.e, christian/muslim/jewish missionaries) tell them god has moved.

do Not enter the junkyard at night. (we broke this one)

always carry a knife. most of us were given jade knives, but my bestfriend got a gold one. ive teased him about it most of our lives, even after we shifted.

take a buddy with you everywhere, and if you can't find one, don't go out.

me and my brother have broken all these rules about once at least, except for the knife one and the junkyard. me and my bestfriend broke the junkyard one though. we shifted together when we were barely teens. first, we lived in the uk, then in the states. we headed back home and barely spoke for a year before he died, at the ripe old age of 17. i miss him, but thats not the point.

it was only after we moved, that we realized how truly Fucked Up our town was. we were living in the middle of war ravaged county, and we had swimming pools, and ipads, and sunset cocktails? obviously i didn't realise it as a kid, as a pre-teen even - but looking at it from the outside feels like a gut punch.

now here's where im going to yap about the similarities between tma and my shitstorm of a childhood and hopefully Will Not Piss Anyone Off. if you're from my town - you'll know exactly what im talking about, and i seriously hope you reach out and/or message me.

the things everyone knows the things. they're just. there. kinda like the bogeyman your mom scares you with when you don't eat lunch except most of us have just accepted that they're real

old man hanna if you've lived here, you know him. he's weird, he's kooky, and he's got a million books and tape recorders and vinyls. he's maybe the only person in that place that doesn't come from money. he hates electronics, says they can't capture things the way old school stuff does

the graves now, our town is mainly christian. uber arab christian. we've got graves, we've got cemeteries. but outside it, on the outskirts, lie a long line of unmarked graves. are they from the arab-israeli war? the gulf war? lord knows

the 2015 blackout this was the creepiest thing that happened here. the blackout, and then the radio stations playing that reading of the bible? my parents shut everything off and rushed me and bulos to the master bedroom

the skydiving institute i have no idea if the government approved this godforsaken place, but it was there. it led to the disappearance of nahren, who was deathly afraid of heights but she said she was ready to face her fears

the church when i shifted to the uk, i saw the proceedings of the greek orthodox church there. and let me tell you - it's so different to our church. for starters, our church doesn't even seem to have any affiliation to the goc, even though it should?? the entire thing is so different

the pond now this is rather controversial. our town's pond was created in the early 70's, but no one knows How or Why. realistically, there shouldn't have been any water supply that far inland. and the water should not be that salty. we don't acknowledge it, and no one drinks from it, even if its really hot. there's a sign outside that asks parents to hold their children tightly when passing by the pond

the soldiers they're mainly american (at least the one i met was), but they rarely enter our town. and when they do, they can only stay in one specific motel - we're not allowed to talk to them. once i did, though. im still...fucked up from it

there's a lot more, but i don't think y'all wanna know about my fucked up town anymore. just writing this is giving me the heebie-jeebies.

we usually aren't allowed to leave our town once we're in it. but my dad got special permission for us to leave, before the divorce. so we did. and then my parents got divorced. which made our family Not Happy, so we weren't exactly welcomed back.

that being said, i don't think there's anything really wrong with my town. it's just a bit...different. and i love it. even if it doesn't seem to love me right now.

god, i think i need to go lay down. i hate remembering all this.

[caitlinsgirl]

Thank you for this

summary: the narrator and caitlin are childhood friends. the narrator enjoys staying out of the public eye while supporting her favorite girl. set after their tough playoff game against the connecticut sun.

word count: 1.73k

tags: fluff, comfort, c*nner mention

author's note: thank you guys so much on the love for the last one! i'll get to the requests in my inbox, i just got in my feels after seeing caitlin's black eye after today's game. also tumblr kept fucking up and i had to re-do the upload for this likeeee 3 or 4 times so any mistakes i apologize. i hope u enjoy.

It feels bittersweet when you think about the time together. You no longer feels shaken up by the concept of time passing by anymore. You stopped panicking over the fact that you and the people around you are getting older. After all, getting older is a privilege, and you thank God everyday for letting you watch your girl become the woman that she is today. But today, today feels like a punch in my gut. You cannot think of anything, nothing except the passion that Caitlin has felt since you were little girls. You remember how she would beg you to join a team for more time to be with her.

“Any team!” the multi-sport prodigy would proclaim. “It doesn't matter if you'd suck, we'd have fun.” Of course I knew it would matter, though. For all you know, she could have probably stopped being your friend over how bad you would have been. Despite not being a member of her teams, you went to every game your best friend played in. Even if you felt sick, you was there, cheering her name louder than anyone in the stands, except maybe her family of course. You watched her through every high and low that made her the athlete she is today.

But nothing could have prepared you for today. The first playoff game for the Indiana Fever is over, and the players are making their way off the court. From your seat, you can see the way your best friend's eyes are glued to the ground as she followers her team to the locker room that's reserved for the Connecticut Sun's opposing team. If you were honest, you could not care less about the result of the game, or whether or not your favorite WNBA team advances in the playoffs. The only thing that matters is her, and the chance to make her feel better after this tragic loss.

Hey

Your phone lit up and chimed with her message just as you stepped out of the shower in your Connecticut hotel room. Butterflies immediately swirled in your stomach. What could be the right thing to say? What on Earth could I possibly say or do to make this horrid day into a good one for her? Making it better is not enough for you. You wish to see her on top of the world, sunshine or rain, win or lose. To the world, she is just an athlete, but to you, she's your person. An angel who deserves to have a smile on her face.

Teams going out to eat but im too tired to go with

Can I hang out with u at ur hotel room? theyre gonna talk about the game and I’ve had enough basketball for today

Of course u can

You rush to dry yourself off and get dressed. You quickly make your way downstairs to buy her favorite snacks at the lobby concession stand. Anything you can do, anything she wants, and more.

You had booked a hotel room within walking distance of the Indiana Fever's team. Having a room within the same establishment would have been too strange. This is Caitlin's job, after all, and you're just her friend. Maybe it would have been appropriate for her boyfriend to book a room, but not you. At least it felt that way.

You nervously paced back and forth in your room as you waited for her to show up. You arranged all the fun snacks you picked up in an adorable display on the 2nd queen bed of the room, the one you were not sleeping on. A bag of unpopped popcorn was waiting for Caitlin's entrance in the microwave. Two cups of ice were in the fridge, so they would not melt so fast. The hotel had all kinds of movies available on the TV, and you were about to queue up High School Musical, but then you remembered that movie is partly about basketball. Okay, Cinderella it is. Your favorite Disney princess movie has become her favorite too, from all the times you forced her to rewatch it with you.

A gentle knock on the door made you jump a little bit. You quickly made your way and paused for a second. You took a deep breath, and opened the door to see her. Her hands were in her sweatpants pockets and her shoulders were slightly slumped forward. Her black eye became darker as the night went on. The sight of it made your heart ache. You had the desire to take her into your arms and tell her how much she means to you. Your hands burned with desire, but you just smiled.

“Hey girl,” you said before stepping aside to let her in.

She walked through the entryway and stopped at the foot of the queen bed.

“Did Willy Wonka come in before I did?” She raised her eyebrow at you.

You couldn't help but to giggle. “No, goofy! I thought we could have a proper movie night,”

Her lips slightly curled into a weak, but much needed smile. You walked to the miniature fridge to pull out the cups. “Do you want apple juice or soda?”

“Juice, please,” she responded as her eyes scanned your selection. She picked out a couple of items, then a third one for good measure, before plopping herself onto the other bed in front of the television. You put your drinks on the nightstand and took the spot next to her. As if it was routine, the two of you tucked yourselves under the blanket. You hit play, and her body moved even closer to yours. Her head rested on your right shoulder, heavy and with a sigh. She is not talking about it, but you can read it all over her.

Caitlin's mind is rushing. It is impossible to land on a single thing. You could not begin to imagine the things she was saying to herself, and you did not care. The only thing you cared about was making those thoughts go away. You looked down at her and imagined yourself latching TNT onto the tracks ahead of her train of thought. You imagined it running of its tracks, leaving her without the negativity or self-doubt.

You could not stop staring at the bruise on her face. You have seen her hurt before, this is not anything new. You saw the bruises that those games left her with, the soreness in her body after a hard day in the weight room. In fact, sometimes you thought those bruises on her looked really, really hot. Something about that black eye, though, it makes you feel so utterly sad.

You wrapped your right arm around her shoulder and pulled her whole body even closer to yours. She did not hesitate, either. Her strong arms almost immediately wrapped around your waist and she took in the smell of the conditioner on your slightly damp hair.

“Thank you for this, [name].” She mumbled as her eyes stayed glued on the beginning of the movie. The sound of her voice felt like you were hearing it for the first time she spoke your name. You replay it in your mind over and over again, thanking God that you could be so close to her. Her friendship felt like salvation for the both of you, a reminder that life is still sweet and worth conquering. When you both imagine your old age, you think of each other, and the gentle serenity that each other's presence brings. “We're gonna have a house together when we're little old ladies,” she used to tell you when you were kids.

Your right hand found its way to her pin-straight brown hair. Your fingers wove themselves through and gently massaged her head. I love you. She leaned into your touch and closed her eyes with a small, content hum. With her arms around your waist, you felt like you could die here happy. The smell of her skin was familiar, yet intoxicating, like a drug that you could not get enough of. Your left hand moved with a mind of its own and slowly cupped her face. You lifted her head and she opened her eyes, her face inches away from yours.

You leaned in, and her grip around your waist loosened for your ease. You gently kissed the black spot under her eye, as if your touch could heal her from all the horribleness that came from today. She closed her eyes again, her cheeks flaring up and lighting on fire with her pumping blood. Her cheeks, ears, and neck felt hot with desire for your touch. You could hear her heart beating.

You kissed the spot again, gentler and slower this time. “Do you know that I love you, Caitlin?” You asked her.

She opened her eyes and looked at you. She furrowed her eyebrows, shocked that those words came out of your mouth. You have told each other that you love each other before, what pair of best friends have not done that? But you both knew this was different. You began to hesitate and tried to think of a way to backtrack, a way to explain-

She sat up fully and took your face into her hands. Her thumbs grazed your cheeks and her eyes studied the beautiful features on your face. It was as if she was seeing you for the first time. She moved her hand and touched your lips with her right thumb, tracing the outline and savoring the softness of your skin. Now it was your turn to blush furiously.

“Please kiss me, Caitlin,” you said looking into her mossy hazel eyes.

“I love you too, [name],” she slurred as she closed the space between you two. Her kiss felt gentle, but hungry. The both of you felt years worth of desire all at once. You wrapped your arms around her waist and ran your hands up her back, memorizing the way her body fits with yours. She made you ask her again, then again, then again.

The two of you eventually fell asleep in each other's arms with the ice in your cups melted and your snacks forgotten. You assumed she let her team know she was heading over to your hotel room, you just hoped none of them would suspect anything the next day.

[soracities]

if we should protect children because they are vunerable, this means you would protect cruel children who bullies people who different than them then. the children who responsible to trauma for someone else's entire years

You're assuming that "protecting" children is the same as absolving them of responsibility and that's not what I said. All children are vulnerable, because all children are children; they don't come out of the womb with a perfectly working moral compass anymore than they come out of it waiting to hurt people--they're vulnerable because their understanding of the world is entirely at the mercy of what we, as adults, consistently tell them and show them. Children behaving cruelly aren't exempt from that--they learn that cruelty from somewhere, or someone. Your job, as the adult, is to make sure they understand that it's unacceptable so it will not happen again--but your job is also to ask why someone that young is behaving this way to begin with, so you can ensure they become better.

"Protecting" kids is not ignoring when they hurt or torment others, it's not refusing to teach them consequences or right from wrong, it's not "zero tolerance" policies in schools that treat a child being bullied and the child bullying them as equal instigators, and it's certainly not protecting them from recognizing, and atoning for, the pain they have caused someone else. You don't have to make peace with the now-adults who hurt you when you both were kids, but you cannot let the horrors of your own childhood impact how you treat or respond to the children living theirs around you right now, either.

You don't protect kids so they can get a free pass for bullying or tormenting another child. You protect them because kids are impulsive, emotionally reactive, and profoundly social (which means deeply impressionable) human beings who are still learning & processing insane amounts of information every day about what it means to be alive, to be alive as yourself, to be alive as yourself with other people. Protecting them is realising that you can't isolate the responsibility of a 10 year old from the bigger responsibility of the literal grown adults around them, adults who are in charge of teaching them about the world and how to behave in it. Whether you have children of your own in the future or not is completely irrelevant to this; we all become those adults eventually--no matter what happened to us as kids.

[mickeym4ndy]

can we please stop with the ‘Mickey is objectively a bad person’ shit PLEASE.

I get it comes from a place of holding him accountable for his actions which is fair but going straight to “he’s a bad person” just completely disregards so much of his growth and development, and the nuances of the show.

I get Mickey fans got a reputation in the past for excusing everything he does and yea that’s annoying. But to counteract that by saying “he’s objectively terrible!” is so one dimensional and also completely goes against everything that shameless is about.

the point of shameless isn’t that all of these people are terrible, it’s to show the effect living in poverty has on a person and the lengths that are necessary to go to survive in that life, and the mistakes that ultimately causes people to make along the way.

no shameless character is perfect. that’s the point. even some of the worst things that characters have done have been because they are victims of their circumstances and situations. they are nuanced complex characters that can’t be put into boxes of good and bad

they’ve all done things to hurt other people and themselves. but the point is is that most of them have good within them, but all the factors against them make it harder to let that out.

“He’s a bad person” is a lazy reading of the show that completely lacks nuance in my opinion

[kinokoshoujoart]

CORRECT TAGS‼️‼️‼️‼️ @rn0na-lizard you are so so so correct….. my favorite ‘Normal Girl’ in hmds…….i almost never see anyone talk about these aspects of her let alone also love her for them as they should.

i feel like Leona/ DS lumina gets mischaracterized super often which is understandable bc out of all the DS candidates leona is the least like her ancestor (who i also love, for different reasons).

in AWL lumina was the only kid in the valley for a very long time, but many of the DS residents have lived in the valley their whole lives. while lumina had accepted her role as a proper young heiress by chapter 3 of AWL— and when DS begins Leona already at this point of her life— lumina still had a lingering sense of uncertainty and angst and loneliness and doubt, and unresolved worries about her parents. absolutely none of this is present with leona

in this world leona starts with Lumina’s 22 year old appearance, she’s just rich as hell and living her best life (as she deserves), she’s unabashedly shallow, puts herself first always, speaks so politely and affably yet she can be so casually cruel in the most genuine cute way and out of touch with reality and and i fucking love her and i’d die for her. my beloved girlboss girlkeep girlypop

more iconic Leona Moments

when muu/muffy asks for beauty advice leona’s recommendation is “this brand of mail order beauty cream is simply divine! and it was quite inexpensive too, just 100,000 G 🥰” everyone else looks uncomfortable and muu is like “you’re as frivolous as always….”

aside from the 3 who take literally half your money (Witch💖, moi, and thomas) leona and panama (romana) take the most money from you if they carry you home when you faint. just a couple of girl bosses holding on to their girlpire (btw shout out to sebastian, the only resident in the entire valley who carries you home for free)

neither panama nor leona attend the harvest festival, they send sebastian there by himself to test the food first lmao (if you poison it like the witch they’re harboring on their property requires you to do, sebastian is just like “i can’t serve this to Mistress Panama…”)

once again sebastian attacks mukumuku for her sake, this time not to make her a paintbrush but she told him to get her the best slippers and this was apparently the easiest way. sebastian gets fucking mauled btw

leona has hands down the best romance route in hmds. all her scenes are incredible but god the slow burn friends to lovers with your DVD player….

in her purple heart event she shows up at your house because she heard you have a DVD player, asks you to show her how it works, and then just leaves after she’s done playing with it

in her yellow heart event she has sebastian fetch van so she can buy a DVD player for herself but van’s like “i’m so sorry …. Pete… bought the last one….”

leona is so unable to stomach the idea of other people having things she doesn’t that she starts to cry and the only way to placate her is to tell her she can go to your house anytime she wants just so she can use your DVD player. that’s not a setup to a budding romance that’s her final heart event

it’s the most incredible romance arc in the world like girl you have infinite money you can just. buy a DVD player somewhere else?? “i want to watch DVDs at my house just like you!” leona you have three entire bedrooms

“rich girl love interest who has everything except love, win her heart by having genuine conversation with her”: done to death, tired, i don’t have time for that

“rich girl love interest who has everything except a fucking DVD player, win her heart by giving her expensive stuff and ‘relax tea’ and access to your DVD player”: audacious, intriguing, never been done before, innovative

if you deny her god-given right to access your DVD player she is like “Is that so……………Just let me be alone for a little bit.” incredible tragedy i understand. take as much time as you need to grieve darling

oh but her first heart event asks you to pick a side in an argument she’s having with panama and the correct answer is to say “sebastian is the one who’s wrong” (sebastian has said nothing wrong this whole time and yet both of them have just been yelling at him to shut up)

and her blue heart event is “help me find this heirloom necklace… boohoo…” and when you find it she’s like “perfect! now grandma won’t get mad at me. hmm, you seem pretty dependable…♡” augh she’s way too good at this…….!!! i’ll do anything for you!

when you propose she says “of course, i always dreamed of having a romance and a wedding♡” and says nothing abt how she feels about you <3

also if you marry her, once a week she goes to hang out at her ex love interest’s place for 6 hours straight and comes home saying “whew… i had so much fun that i must have lost track of time… i’ll hurry on home”

if you marry another girl she starts flirting with you like “I’m so envious of your wife, having such a fine husband… Pete.” (or whatever your name is)

i’ve become obsessed with her and romeo’s horrible trainwreck soap opera marriage since replaying cute in jp… it’s SO… i have so much to say about them that it should be its own post but i’ll just give the cliffnotes

shotgun wedding vibes. romeo is surprised by his own wedding. they’re childhood friends but he himself has never considered marrying her. her words to him at their wedding are “Make me happy♡” (command)

she understandably can’t stand his terrible table manners or his clothes or anything about him (except that she wants to watch him surf and have his child. but he instead walks in circles all day. coward) and he’s both really good at accidentally stepping on landmines and just ever so slightly majorly terrified of her after marriage (“but surely her angry outbursts are just her way of showing love hahahahaha” you’re going to die. she’s going to kill you). the only positive things they say about their marriage are extremely shallow. they can’t communicate with each other because romeo always says the Dumbest Shit obliviously and leona always responds by cutting him out of her life forever!!!!!! (for 5 seconds) while he has no idea what happened

they are both so melodramatic and they both just do nothing except make each other worse and run away from each other and push each other away but they can’t escape each other. neither of them ever has to grow or change if they marry each other because an elderly overworked man is sustaining both of their existences and neither of them can take care of themselves and i love them your honor

also romeo’s first crush as a kid was apparently her mom, and if leona falls for YOU she flirts by mentioning that sebastian says you look like the spitting image of her dead father. dear fucking god

they’re the epitome of “You're both just enabling each other's mental illnesses. You're both perfect for each other. Never change. Just never involve anybody else in what you've got going on.”

romeo really does feel like her stupid lackey. like the karen to her regina. they even had this dynamic in the games they played as kids… she was the Harvest Goddess and he was Servant A/Minion A (they might still be playing this game as adults…he calls her lady/mistress sometimes after marriage…)

btw leona’s best friend (wife) marivia is also just as… there’s an event where they just gossip about all the mineral town ppl and marivia says ann would win a gluttony contest and they both giggle

there’s also an event where marivia casually walks into Witch’s hut and just interviews her so she can write her into a novel. witch is left completely drained by this exchange. leona and marivia both are so chill about the horrible cruel villainess living in leona’s shed who wants the town poisoned and rewards you for killing animals and hurting yourself and is putting curses on everyone (and they’re right. she’s never done anything wrong in her life)

[zeb-z]

I’ve made a billion fucking drafts and can’t find the words to talk about cellbit and bagi from today. how the fuck do you explain the intricacies between a brother who has lived a life that has sharpened him to cut what he touches, and a sister who had to live with his absence? a man who has to see the childhood he never got to have whenever he looks at the woman he now knows is his twin? said twin who cannot understand why her brother would be anything but glad they are reunited? how do you get across that tangled mess of emotions cellbit had to get him to burn his old pet worm? the paradox of longing for what could have been while desperate to get rid of any reminder, with a healthy dose of paranoia that anything could be a federation bug. or the pure devotion bagi has to decide to stick with her brother even though he is not close to the same as he was when he went missing? the unfairness of it all, of cellbit being taken and made into a killer before he turned 14, of bagi looking for him at the detriment of her own safety and self, of ripped up childhoods and everything that could have been? the fact that the first thing cellbit asks is what he could have done to deserve it? the disgust he holds for himself for what he’s done, and the anger he has for the federation that’s taken everything from him, and the resentment he has towards bagi no matter how unfair it is because she never had to go through what he did? how after bagi swore to help him burn the federation down, cellbit went to bad instead, because bad was there and fought alongside him, and he trusts bad because he’s seen him at his worst, and all he feels like doing is his worst right now? the two of them so similar still because they’re consumed by their need for revenge, while bagi just wants to leave the island? how the fuck can you summarize all this and the emotions that accompany it?

[imagine-to-be-a-pike]

Arthur had every right to hate magic. I won't take back these words.

[spotsupstuff]

as i'm workin on my Ancient stuff- i've got to say that it is really interesting and neat (read: nasty) that there's a good chance most of the Ancient population probably didn't actually wear masks. but We think they did cuz the only really solid evidence of what they looked like at all all comes from places of the higher social circles. and those strived for religious... superiority, i guess. brownie points, not actual dedication to the religion for the sake of its teachings but either because it made them look good, put them higher in the social hierarchy or whatever manipulation have you (or the flawed look upon the religion aka "we gotta get out of this cycle no matter what")

all we are left with are the bastards. the simple people and their cultures that were left to weather the Iterators' rains were simply washed away. nobody cared for their way of life- as long as it served the higher circles well and they stayed submissive (enough so that at the end everyone would take a dip in the void), nobody had to give a singular shit

just how much do we not know about the Ancients' *everything* because of this disregard? how much do we think we are right about, when such is true only for the small but privileged piece of the species?

[rollforjackass]

i could KILL him for this. motherfucker's every interaction with children has him being, if not nice, then at minimum kind and forgiving and genuinely invested in their wellbeing.

he asks crying kids what's the matter, he's afraid to hold a baby because he's worried he'll drop it, he goes after people who are mean to kids without a second thought. his whole mentorship with timothy hunter is him trying to do right by that kid no matter how he feels about it at the time. man would be the most loving dad in the world but because of his own awful goddamn father and the ways he thinks he takes after thomas, he doesn't think that's true. i hate.

[grishaverse-chaos]

hmmm something about dominik haunting the narrative in king of scars. everything nikolai does is at least a little bit for him. he learns about the life of average ravkan people by meeting dominik's family. he starts gaining influence in politics just so he can improve dominik's life. and then he promises dominik that he won't let ravka break him.

that promise fucking haunts him. it follows him wherever he goes. it's the driving force behind everything he does, every step he takes to heal the centuries-old wounds in ravka. it's what drives him to do better, be better.

dominik is always there, in the back of his mind: this country gets you in the end. always pushing him to do more, because he couldn't save dominik and so he has to save ravka (for dominik) (because he promised) (because he loved him)