#the universe must be rooting for my failure

[crrnthyprfxtns]

The world is so so evil how is it I stay up the entire night unable to sleep and then I get hit with a wave of tiredness just before I have to go to class

[luna-azzurra]

Archetypes Explained - The Hero

The Hero, is the poor soul who was just trying to live their life before the universe threw a flaming pile of responsibility at their feet. Now they’re forced to embark on some grand adventure, save the world, and, if they’re lucky, make it to the end without permanent emotional (or physical) damage.

We all know this character. We root for them, we stress over them, we scream at them when they make the worst decisions possible, but here’s the problem. Too many heroes are boring as hell. Why? Because they’re too perfect. Too noble. Too “I must do the right thing because it is my destiny” energy. And that’s not how real people work.

↠ So how do you write a hero that actually feels real?

Seriously, give them flaws—real ones. And no, “cares too much” or “too brave for their own good” do not count. I’m talking actual weaknesses. Maybe they’re selfish. Maybe they hesitate too much. Maybe they’ve got an ego problem. Maybe they make decisions that actively screw people over. If your hero never makes a mistake, they’re not a character, they’re a robot.

Then, give them something personal at stake. Saving the world is great and all, but why do they care? What are they really fighting for? Their family? Their sense of identity? The one person they can’t live without? If their motivation is just “because it’s the right thing to do,” you’ve written a motivational poster, not a character.

Let them fail. And I don’t mean one minor setback that they instantly recover from. I mean failure. Heartbreaking, humiliating, gut-wrenching failure that makes them question everything. Because that’s what makes us care. Watching a hero struggle, doubt themselves, and still get back up? That’s what makes them worth rooting for.

And finally—please—give them a personality. Heroes don’t have to be brooding warriors of justice with tragic backstories. They can be sarcastic, awkward, reluctant, reckless. They can start off as selfish and become someone better. They can be an absolute disaster who stumbles their way into heroism. Just… make them human.

So if you’re writing a hero, ask yourself: Would I want to have a drink with this person? If the answer is no, rewrite them. NOW...

[utilitycaster]

actually, separating this out from my long-ass post about Ruidusborn As Oppressed Group being an impossibly broken metaphor: I think a huge problem here is that Imogen is, genuinely, a valid if imperfect metaphor for disability on an individual level, but not on a systemic level, and that failure to distinguish the individual from the systemic is a massive problem in a ton of political discourse today. (I also think it underscores a disability-specific issue, that of disability genuinely being a problem for many people with or without the presence of ableism on top of it, which is not true of, say, race, which ceases to be a problem in any capacity in the absence of racism.) In other words: Imogen's experience can be extremely relatable on a personal level both in terms of living with disability/chronic illness, and for a personal experience of discrimination; however, while it stands as a metaphor for experiencing the drawbacks of disability/chronic illness (symptoms, energy levels, decisions one must make, etc) it fails as a metaphor for systems of oppression: it is purely individual.

Imogen's powers are indeed a burden, especially early on! She struggles with them and they cause very specific problems for her on a physical and emotional level. They disrupt her sleep and cause her to make different choices than she would if a potential flare-up (pun genuinely not intended here) were not an ever-present risk. She does not know their source and is frustrated by this. This is completely in line with a metaphor for chronic illness on an individual level, ie, Imogen's experience would be immediately recognizable to someone with a chronic illness, especially someone who had to fight to find a source or get a diagnosis. However, the effects her powers have on other people means that treating her with caution or distancing themselves from a mindreader is not unjustified; which makes it an extremely bad metaphor for discrimination, and in turn for any form of oppression for something that is not a problem in the absence of discrimination, such as sexuality (and I've talked about this extensively before). Again: her experience of isolation may still be relatable to someone who has experienced that for race or sexuality in real life; but only as an individual experience. It does not properly scale in-world to a systemic one.

And, for what it's worth, I think this is the fundamental issue with Bells Hells and their interpretations (and many fandom interpretations of a number of events in C3, and, as mentioned, irl political discourse): the inability to accurate distinguish individual experience from systemic issues (and more generally, the actual root cause). It's what ultimately leads to a story in which Bells Hells make their choices (or don't, as the case may be) on the basis of a falsely assumed universality of highly specific niche experiences. This does not mean, again, that their pain is not valid; but they ascribe it to something that is not in fact responsible. They take a single point and extrapolate not just a line, but an entire plane. And, as in reality, this means the root cause ultimately goes unaddressed while people point fingers.

[lucielmars]

Why I think Geto's "meaning" is love and why Gojo failed to really understand him.

As I was writing the last chapter for my fic, I thought a lot about what Geto meant when he talked about "meaning" in the infamous KFC break-up scene. "You can kill me, there would be meaning in that."

Here is my theory : First of all, we know that as a teenager, he thought that being a sorcerer was meaningful because "the strong must protect the weak." I saw a lot of people interpret that as him meaning that the strong are responsible for the weak, due to their strength.

While I don't think that's what Geto meant by it, I do think that's how Gojo interpreted it.

See, Gojo was raised to become a sorcerer because he is strong. His strength is the justification for his exploitation since birth (the recent Gojo interview having confirmed that he was working even as a child.) He's also been brainwashed into thinking he tipped the balance of the universe and has to set it straight. So to him, although he's initially pissed off that he has to bear this responsibility, he interprets what Suguru says this way because it makes sense to him.

Gojo's moral compass will, inspired by Geto (but not properly understood), be focused on this idea of responsibility. That's why he kills Toji before he becomes dangerous, and that's why he takes Megumi and Tsumiki in not long after. That's why he became a teacher, because he felt responsible to make sure what happened to Geto doesn't happen again. That's Gojo's strength, but also his weakness. He doesn't really question the dangers his students face for most of the manga because he believes that they are also responsible for the weak (he's morally grey partly because of that).

However, what Geto actually means by it is that a society in which the strong don't protect the weak is a failing society because it is a society without love. It means we let the weak die just because they can't fight for themselves. He is correct, as many historians believe the first sign of civilization is a healed femur, a proof that we cared enough to protect someone until they healed.

When Gojo and Geto are friends, this difference in 'reason for being sorcerers' doesn't impact them negatively. When they protect Riko together, Gojo thinks he has a responsibility to let her make her own choice and help her, since she is weak compared to him. Geto, on the other hand, does it because he's grown attached to Riko. It works out. (Initially he agrees to it because he loves Gojo and wants to please him, he's the biggest simp fr.)

However when Riko dies and the cult claps they consequently analyze the situation very differently. Gojo asks Geto : Should I kill them ? (Meaning, I'm the strongest, it is my responsibility to kill curses and dangerous people). Geto tells him there would be no meaning in that, which means no love. Gojo would only be doing it because he has to, but it wouldn't save Riko, it wouldn't help anyone at the moment.

But then, while Gojo goes on thinking of this as his failure (he didn't protect someone he was responsible for), to Geto this event is life-altering. To someone who does things because of love, the idea that there could be people who clap for a kid's death, that Gojo almost died because Toji needed money, it's a brutal realization that they are being used. (Geto is kinda innocent for not realizing that sooner, Gojo isn't as naive.)

I think the whole "monkey" thing, refers to his understanding that non-sorcerers have a utilitarian relationship to sorcerers. They use them, they let them die. Even if most of them are unaware of that fact. To Geto, that makes them inferiors (unloving).

It also ties to Geto's deep-rooted feeling of being unloved (from his childhood I imagine, although we don't know that for sure, the fact that he killed his parents can't be random.) That's why when Gojo distances himself from him, he's deeply hurt by that.

Then Haibara dies and Geto, I think, gets even deeper into this spiral of anxiety that he will die unloved. At this point he's already suicidal, having lost what he thinks is his reason to live (+ his bff, who he doesn't understand anymore). But to know that two kids younger than him died as mere tools makes him realize that he will die like that too.

Then he finds Nanako and Mimiko, and he decides to love them. Since it's his way of functioning, it works for him. He can finally kill the people he hates, it is justified. There is a reason and a meaning to it (his daughters / the young sorcerers that he would save.)

He leaves Satoru with a last piece of philosophy, in two parts.

"Are you Satoru Gojo because you are the strongest, or are you the strongest because you are Satoru Gojo ?" To him Gojo is by definition associated with love. So what he's asking him is, is love driving you to become strong, or are you just willing to let them use you for your strength like a tool, give their meaning to your life ? Gojo has the wrong answer to this question (still does until the end)

"You could kill me, there would be meaning to that." Love, he means there would be love in that. Geto is willing to be killed by Satoru. He wants to die by his hand, because that would mean his life has meaning, and that he was killed for love (because Gojo didn't want to let him become a monster.)

That brings us to JJK0, when Suguru is acting all insane and attacks Gojo's student. I think he expected to die by Gojo's hand long ago, and he hates himself more and more with each passing days. There is no real love in what he's doing, it doesn't work for him and the system remains the same.

So he declares war and attacks Gojo's students, hoping Gojo will kill him (unconsciously.)

In the end, he gets to give his life "meaning" by dying by Gojo's hand. The person he loves preventing him from becoming a monster. It is love, and it is a curse.

As soon as he sees Gojo he is relieved. He is so ready to die by his hand. That's what he's been waiting for all along.

Gojo still believes he has to do it because it's his responsibility. He doesn't get it. He thinks he's giving justice, when in fact, he's giving mercy.

Which is also why I think Gojo says some version of "I love you" in that scene. I just know Geto got exactly what he wanted before he died, reassurance in every way, "meaning."

I could go on as to why it's also these differences in philosophy that made them love each other, but this is about to become a book SO.

[aurae-rori]

Okay. So no pressure if you don't want to, but can you elaborate more on your headcannoning[?] Ratio having a savior complex? Your character analysis are really good so I was just wondering how you see this.

no worries, it's absolutely no pressure - i love talking about this! and thank you so much, i'm so glad that you enjoy my stuff, so let's get right into it.

a saviour complex is defined as "an attitude and demeanour in which a person believes they are responsible for assisting other people." this doesn't mean that people with saviour complexes are necessarily stuck up and believe that they are noble for doing what they do, it just means that they feel like they must help other people. it can stem from feelings like "if i can't, nobody can!" or, alternatively, "i have no worth if i don't help people, this is what i'm meant to do." in helping other people at the expense of the self, it can help the person with the complex feel valued, wanted, loved, and as if they have a purpose.

as someone who does have a saviour complex (and is working on it in therapy, so i'm doing fine - it's much better than it used to be), i can say in past experiences, this has led me to become a sort of mentor figure to other people in my life. although i will never regret becoming an older sibling figure for the people i care about, the reason why i became a "teacher" was rooted in both my own desire to help other people, and also in my need to be validated.

so basically, it all comes down to this - if i don't help other people, i have no value, so therefore, i am useless. this can quickly spiral into suicidal tendencies and should be stopped as soon as possible, but that's a different topic.

the reason why i hc ratio with a saviour complex is because i see a lot of my own behaviours in him. he became an educator to push people to their limits but also because he cares about humanity. being a teacher means bearing responsibility - the same responsibility that someone with a saviour complex will put on themselves. a person with a saviour complex will always place the needs of others over themselves, (choosing humanity over the gaze of an aeon). he seems to also be a perfectionist and berates himself for being unable to meet a standard (which can also reflect into relationships, where a person with a saviour complex will beat themselves up for being unable to help the person they were attempting to 'save'.)

upon failure of being able to help someone or solve their problems, i find that usually what i've seen is that people fall into spirals of depression and self-deprecation, blaming themselves for the issues of others. we don't know how dr ratio canonically feels about failing about 97% of his classes even though he calls them idiots, but he seems to genuinely care about his students and their education. so i like to believe that on some level, just like i used to, he blames himself when people cannot progress. that's not canon though. just a hc.

anyway, taking on massive amounts of responsibility (trying to cure the entire universe of idiocy) and attempting to further help other people through any means possible, even to the point of neglecting yourself (and although ratio says that a relaxation-working life must be balanced, i used to be a hypocrite about that so he can be a hypocrite about it too) and pushing yourself far past what you must.

anyway, i hope this clears up why i hc him with a saviour complex (from someone that unfortunately has one).

i also ask that people don't say 'are you okay?' if you read this post, because i am! you are absolutely allowed to ask me about my experience as a person who has a saviour complex (as long as you're not rude about it) and i will definitely drop more specific hcs about saviour complex ratio if you want to see more.

hope this was worded okay! :)

[strange-little-spy]

Tickle Fight ~ Gentle!Winter Soldier fluff

Summary: You have a hard day at work and Bucky tries to make you feel better, but it just winds up turning into a tickle fight

Content: FLUFF, FLUFF NOTHING BUT FLUFF, implied married couple activities but not mentioned.

Word Count: 4159 words

a/n: So there is some French in here, but it’s translated. I am personally not yet fluent in French, but I know the phrases used. Anyway, this was inspired by @ebbarnes’s fic called Gentle Hand and part of @buck-star’s writing event

Strap in for some good old tooth rotting fluff…

You didn’t mean to slam the door, but it came out as you dropped your jacket on the floor, absolutely drained from the day.

“Hey, baby-“ Bucky called from the kitchen as he sat with his laptop, still working on his paper for his degree. You and Sam had convinced him to go to college for a bachelors at least. So, he picked New York University. It took some pulling of strings, but they finally accepted him into the classes, but only online. 

“Hey, whoa, whats wrong?” He stood up, closing his computer when he noticed your expression and quickly came to your side like a clingy dog. 

“I’m okay, Bucky.” You tried to sound okay, but those blasted tears welled up in your eyes, betraying your troubles.

“Doll..” He looked hurt, he always did when you were sad. He hesitated before hugging you close, his real hand rubbing circles into your back. “I’m glad your home, baby.”

You nodded, your arm wrapping around his shoulder, feeling his metal arm under the shirt he wore. The tears spilled over at his affection, staining his shirt. 

“I’m so-sorry, Bucky,” You sighed, rubbing your eyes. “I feel so stupid-“

“No, no, honey,” He ducked to meet your eyes, his hand cupping your cheek and wiping the tears away. “You’re beautiful and amazing, and I love you for it.”

“But I can’t do anything right!” You fussed, stomping your foot. Bucky paused, his expression wavering at your outburst.

“I- I’m sorry, James. I didn’t mean to shout-“

“Shh,” He pulled you close to him again. “You could never hurt me, doll. Don’t worry about me, okay?”

“But you’re my world, Bucky. I have to worry about you.” You frowned, feeling like absolute trash.

“Look,” He placed a kiss on your cheek before looking at you. “How about you go take a long shower, wash your hair and then we’ll have diner, okay? I’ll make your favorite.” He flashed a warm smile, making you smile(with difficulty) back. You took a breath, wiping your eyes and sniffing. 

“Okay, bear.” You nodded. “I may be a second or so.”

“Take all the time you need, love. I’m not going anywhere.”

You decided to keep the light off while you showered for multiple reasons.

1. You didn’t want to see yourself in the large mirror

2. It was soothing for some strange reason

3. Plus why not

The hot water washed all the sweat and tears from you as you sat down on the tile, worming your fingers through your scalp and scratching at the roots. The steam cleared your sinuses out along with your lungs. You felt as if you could breathe clearer as you stepped out onto the mat, wrapping a fluffy towel around yourself. You could smell the scent of meat rising through the vents. Bucky couldn’t bake to save his life,  but boy, he could grill like a champ. So his steaks were the ones you practically lived for. You smiled and took a long breath, feeling lightheaded as you let it out again. You giggled as you remembered when he tried to make you a pie for your birthday the year you two had met. It was a failure to say the least. 

You turned on the blow-dryer, but also the string lights above your sink just to see what you were doing. But on the mirror, there was a square sticky note.

You leaned closer, reading the handwriting. It was definitely Bucky’s.

“You are beautiful, enough, worthy, lovely, and chosen.”

You had to laugh to keep the tears from overflowing again. He left notes like this, but never with this message. He must have really thought it out before putting it up.

Ah, you loved him.

You finished drying your hair and let it hang loose over your shoulders as you tugged on your warm leggings and one of Bucky’s hoodies. For some reason, his were way comfier than yours. And he never minded when you confiscated one.

You could here the timer going off from the kitchen as you moved into the living room. Bucky had already turned on the soft lights that emitted from behind the furniture and behind the TV which was already set for your favorite movie. But before you sat down, Bucky came running into the room telling you to hold on before you sat down.

“Don’t move. Do not move a muscle-“ He ordered before running back into the laundry room, just as the dryer buzzer went off, and tugged out your queen sized blanket, immediately wrapping it around you, scooping you up, and gently dropping you onto the couch. 

“Bucky!” You squealed, his grin making you smile ear to ear.

“Not a word,” He said before handing you your phone, now charged mostly.  “Dinner will be served shortly, madame.”

“Merci bea coup, mon mari.” You smiled back at him as he gave you another forehead kiss and then went back to the kitchen. The smell of steak wafting from his wake. You hummed and snuggled deeper into your blanket, he had stuck it in the dryer on high heat for at least 15 minutes, making it a burrow of warmth and comfort. You had an obsession with soft and fluffy things, blankets were no exception. Bucky had given it to you as a wedding present last year.

Your phone pinged in your hand, Natasha’s ringtone sounded. You unlocked the device and found the text. It was a selfie of her and Steve next to the Effiel Tower, a grin plastered on each of their faces.

“So good!!” You replied, typing quickly. “Happy honeymoon!! <3”

“Thank you!” She was quick to respond, surprising you. There was a large time difference from Paris and New York, easily eight hours- “Hope to you see you and James soon!”

“Sameeee!”

Natasha was your bestest friend ever. Not withstanding the factshe introduced you and Bucky, but she was kind otherwise. 

“Dinner has arrived,” Bucky said from behind you as you sat up and began to tie your hair back so it wouldn’t get in your way, but he sat the plate of steak, mashed potatoes and kernel corn into your lap, taking the hair tie off your wrist and whipped around to your back, gingerly pulling your hair into a low bun.

“James!” You giggled, trying to turn to look at him, but his metal arm reached around and tapped your plate. 

“Eat.” He ordered with a smirk as he finished off your hair. 

“You’re the most wonderful man I ever knew.”

“I should hope so,” He leaned against the couch. “Otherwise methinks I got some questions.”

You giggled through a mouthful of potatoes. “Oh, salt please.”

“Yup.” He pushed himself off the couch, speed-walking into the kitchen. When he returned, he carried your salt and his own plate, flopping down next to you, taking in the blankets warmth for himself. 

“Oh, c’mon, James.” You rolled your eyes. “You’re a personal radiator, why do you need the blanket?”

“Because I’m your husband and I wants blanket. Now gimme.” He practically growled, but there wasn’t a trace of gruffness in his tone. You snickered as he shoveled a forkful of steak into his mouth, still holding eye contact.

You shook your head, amazed that he hadn’t broken into laughs same as you. “Your steak is amazing, as always, bear. Thank you so much.”

“Anything for my girl.” He genuinely smiled, making your heart soar and speed up at the same time. To see him smile meant the world to you. After everything he’d gone through, he deserved to have a reason to smile. “Feeling better than the little cloud of rain that walked in here earlier?”

“Much better,” You finished off your plate, setting it on the coffee table in front of the couch. “I’m sorry I was so upset earlier..”

“Whatever is was, I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.” He reassured, mimicking you and then wrapping his arm around you so you were only separated by the thick, fluffy blanket and his hoodies. “Do you want to tell me about it now that you’re all cleaned up and feeling better?”

With this atmosphere and his adorable way of being with you, how could you not?

“Okay,” You sighed, getting comfy -er. “Well, I don’t think you’ve met my boss, Mr. Carmichal.”

“I’ve heard you mention him once or twice, but I don’t think I’ve met him.”

“Alright, well, if you’ll pardon my language, but he’s the biggest suka I have ever met.”

Bucky snickered at your choice of words. “Go on.”

“So today he demands to see me on work hours, and secondly, he’s refusing to grant me that raise that’s been coming to me for the last three years.”

Bucky’s expression hardens, someone was neglecting you? He would be ‘meeting’ this Mr. Carmichal…

“Alright.” He said, urging you onward.

“And you’ll never believe what he wanted to see me about.”

“What?”

“Apparently, I am using too many coffee stirrers at work, so I am now being fined for each second stirrer. And apparently he knows all and sees all, so I owe the company—“ You raised your palm to see the scribble on your arm that didn’t completely come off in the shower. “—1456 dollars and 98 cents.”

If you weren’t so serious, you would have snickered at Bucky’s shocked expression.

"One thousand, four-hundred fifty-six dollars and ninety eight cents???” He repeated. “You could by a car for that much.”

“Well, probably a hot-wheel. But nothing bigger.” You sighed, rubbing the figure off your skin. 

Bucky was silent for a long moment as you rested your head on his shoulder, his hand fingering through your scalp, soothing you.

“Do you have your boss’s number?” He finally asked. 

“Yeah, of course.”

“Give it to me.”

“What? What are you going to do, James??” You sat up.

��I’m going to call this guy, and you’re going to quit your job.” He held out his metal hand. 

“Are you insane? I can’t quit just like that!” You objected.

“Why not?? You can work with Potts! I bet she and Stark wouldn’t mind having you! You’re one of the best hackers I know of!”

“Software programmer, James.”

“Baby, I watched you track down HYDRA using this—“ Hetouched your forehead. “—And a laptop. I think you can work for Stark. I’d really don’t like the idea of you working for a guy like this Carmichal for four days a week.”

You sighed through your nose, looking at your phone. “But what will I say? He’ll have me to a contract.”

“Does your piece of paper say you can leave whenever you want and they can fire you whenever they want, with good reason?”

“Sure, down at the bottom. I had to ask Pepper about it before I signed it.”

“Then you’re not forced to finish that contract.” He held out his hand again.

You looked at him and then at your phone. “I hope you know what you’re doing, bear.” You said as you handed him the phone.

His lips turned up in a smirk before he unlocked your phone and scrolled through your contacts.

“Here we go.” He hit the number and held the phone up to his ear. 

“He may be at home by now.” You reminded, noting the time.

“Do I look like I give a darn about this suka?”

You held back your chuckle as the other end picked up.

“What do you want, Barnes??” Carmichal snapped. “It’s 9 o’ clock at night!”

“I have a working clock,” Bucky shot back, maintaining his eye contact with you. “This is (y/n)’s other half. I’m looking for a Mr. Carmichal.”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware Barnes was married.”

“Where do you think she got her last name?”

You held back your giggle by burying yourself into the blanket. 

“Look, you,” Carmichal snapped. “What do you want!? Its late!”

“Well, aware, mister.” Bucky continued without missing a beat. “Its what happens when the sun goes down. Anyway, my wife has been coming home after work with the worst case of an inferiority complex I have ever seen. It seems to me, someone has been treating her like a piece of garbage.”

“She doesn’t work like she’s getting paid for!”

“Oh? I thought she had a raise coming too.”

“Get to your point, man! I’m about to hang up.”

“I called you, mister. Lets not get sidetracked. As I was saying, no one treats my wife like that. Understand?”

“She’s a lousy worker!”

“She tracked down HYDRA and now works for the Stark Industries.”

Silence on the other end.

“She hasn’t informed the company—“

“Isn’t there an item on the contract she signed that explained in detail that she could terminate her employment with your company at any time?”

More silence and more giggles from the lump of blanket that you were. Bucky was working him like a champ.  Maybe you should give him all your scam calls…

“There is, but—“

“Then she terminates it.”

“And who the hell are you to quit your wife’s job???”

“Oh I dunno. An agent for SHIELD and part of Avengers, but nothing too important.”

Your hand reached from the blanket and flipped the bird, only to be smacked by Bucky.

“Wait- Barnes… NOT THE WINTER SOLDIER—!”

“`Bye.” Bucky hung up, dropping your phone on the couch. You let out a peal of laughter, throwing the blanket off you. 

“There, was that so hard?” He shrugged, also unable to hold back his own grin.

“You were beautiful, Bucky.” You squeezed through your giggles. “I’m gonna make you answer all my scam calls from now on.”

“Please no, I’d better not quit my day job.” He smiled as he pulled you onto his lap. 

You couldn’t stop smiling and snuggled close to him. “Love you, bear.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.” He brushed his metal hand against your cheek, his touch feather-soft. You were always fascinated with his arm, the way he could rip metal apart like paper, but he could also thread a needle like he’d done it before eighty times before. His fingers were cold against your smooth skin, a contrast to his other hand which was just as warm as yours. He’d always run hot.

But his flesh hand trembled under your arm, tickling you. You giggled, squirming away.

“Bucky—“

“Who me?” He smirked devilishly. “I didn’t do anything.” He ticked again, making your squeal.

“James Barnes,” You tried to sound sincere, but there was little fight against his attack. “Stop it-“

“I’m not doing anything, doll.” He leaned closer, reaching to your legs where your most ticklish places were. You squirmed and squealed, feeling rather trapped as he continued to tickle you.

"James!” 

“Who??”

“James Bucky Barnes!” Your legs railed inside the blanket as you kicked to get away. And when he finally let go, you bolted like a doe to the bedroom, his loud footsteps following close behind.

You let out an excited squeal as you hurdled a pillow at him which of course did nothing but it made him grin as he chased you. His eyes bright as he nearly caught you but you rolled over the bed, landing with a flop on the carpeted floor with a grunt. 

He jumped around to pin you to the floor, but you were ready.

When he leaned over you, you grabbed his right underarm and relentlessly tickled, laughing in triumph as he let out a laugh as well, his face turned up in a grin. 

“WHO’S GOT WHO NOW, HUH SOLDIER??” You heckled, still tickling down his torso. He would have collapsed on top of you if you hadn’t of wriggled out of the way and planted yourself on his knees.

“I fight back, Bucky.” You warned, your fingers curled as you held your hands above him. His eyes sparkled with his amusement, his metal arm laid to the side so he wouldn’t hurt you by squeezing too hard. 

“Terrifying little thing,” He smirked, shaking his head and sitting up on his elbow. “I’m so scared.”

“As you should be,” You slid off and eased yourself closer, giving him a slow kiss.

He moaned when you pressed your lips to his, he practically melted onto the carpet. You could feel his trembling under you, making your heart miss a beat.

When you broke apart, he gasped for breath, completely flushed. 

“Holy smokes,” He whispered, still breathless. 

“I’ve kissed you before, baby.” Your brows knitted together. “What’s so differ-“

But you couldn’t finished as his metal hand slithered to your neck, pulling you gingerly toward him. He met your lips with his, his warm breath making your cheeks red along with the blush that filled your face. You had only been married a year and he STILL did this to you. But you weren’t complaining. 

“Love you, angel.” He whispered, his lips brushing your cheek as he took in your scent. You knew he could feel your heart rate speed up through the layers of fabric that separated you. It wasn’t as if they were about to come off either, cuddling was all you needed.

“I love you too, James.” You smiled, your eyes meeting his. You could never really read his eyes, but you knew he was so, so down to the ground over you. Literally and figuratively.

You pecked a kiss on his lips again, making the appropriate ‘mmmwa’ noise to follow it. 

“You taste like steak.”

“Ya think?” You raised an eyebrow in mock surprise. “Huh, wonder why, you smart man.”

Bucky rolled his eyes as he nudged you off so he could sit up. “So are you fine with working for Stark?”

“Personally I wanna work with you and the Avengers.” You titled your head, your mane of hair was now loose from the bun Bucky had styled it into, so it tumbled over your shoulders. You recalled when Bucky had long hair. But he rarely let anyone touch it.

“We’d distract each other.” He scrunched his brows together.

“But your a pretty distraction!” You countered, trying to look innocent.

Bucky chuckled and flopped back on the floor. “I’ll talk to Steve when he gets back.”

“Oh-!” You bolted from the floor to the living room and snatched your phone off the floor from where you had kicked the blanket. You heard Bucky’s firm footfalls as he followed you. 

“C’mer-“ You waved him over trying to find the picture Natasha sent. “Look!” You held up your phone.

“Ooh, thats a good picture.” Bucky nodded. “Clint still owes me ten dollars.”

“What- why?”

“Him and I made a bet that it’d be a lot more dates before that punk would marry Nat.”

“Ha!” You snickered, setting your phone down. “He’s just old fashioned, James.”

“I’m older than Steve!”

“I know, but do I look like I care?” You touched your bottom lip and tugged on it, making doe-eyes at Bucky. 

He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. “Do that again and I just might climb all over you.”

You squealed and fell on the couch again, absolutely elated. He smiled and eased next to you, his eyelids dropping sleepily. You took a breath and tunneled your fingers through his hair, giving small scritches. He seemed to melt under your touch, his small moan making your heart twinge. He adored the little moments of affection you could spare him, anything. A hug in the middle of the night, head-scratches, the rubs you gave him after his intense workouts you so cheeringly encouraged him with. Everything. He relished it. He couldn’t live without you.

“I love you, Bucky.” You soothed. 

“Love you too, doll.” He rumbled, his metal arm resting over you while his other one roamed behind your back and rested on your hip, taking in your warmth. You intertwined your fingers with his metal ones as a hum escaped your lips as you nearly fought to stay awake. Whenever he cuddled with you was enough to send butterflies into a hurricane, but tonight was softer. After a crappy day, you merely wanted affection and fluff. 

And no one could give better affection than one mister Bucky Barnes. 

“We should really put the Christmas stuff up soon.” You mumbled as your hand burrowed under his shirt so your warmth could sooth where his metal arm met the flesh. 

“Tomorrow, sugar.” He replied, sounding just as sleepy as you. 

“Tomorrow.” You nodded.

It wasn’t long before you were both sound asleep.

The scent of toast woke you from your light sleep as you crawled out from your cocoon of the blanket and blinked. You had no idea what the time could be but based on the scent and the cold light coming in through the closed blinds of your bedroom, you guessed it was early morning. You yawned as you slid out of the bed. You remembered falling asleep on the couch so you assumed Bucky had placed you and the blanket back in your own bed. When he did, you couldn’t have guessed. True, he had habits of waking up and taking a short walk around your house just to calm down from a nightmare, and neither of you could really time them in order to make them less worse. But he never complained. That was another thing you loved about it.

You shivered slightly and looked at the time before you pulled a discarded hoodie off the foot of the bed and tugged it over yourself. 6:47. Not bad. That gave you enough time to shower— 

wait, no,

Bucky had quit your job meaning you were going to the Avenger’s compound today to ask Pepper about a job. 

“Right,” You mumbled sleepily as you pulled your socks on and ambled toward the kitchen where Bucky was looking at his computer as a mug of coffee cooled down next to him. You carefully stepped over the squeaky spot on the floor and began to pull the French press out of the cabinet. But cold fingers quickly slipped under your hoodie and pierced your skin as you let out a surprised scream.

“JAMES!”

He laughed behind you before he drew his metal arm away and hugged you from behind. “Good morning, angel.”

“You are naughty, James.” You tried to sound stern but not with him.

“Hmm, do tell.” He nodded as he buried his face in your hair. 

You smiled and shook you head as you heated up the water for your coffee. “How progress on your thesis?”

“Slow and excruciating.” He grumbled as he let you go, (with evident objection) so you could finish your process. “They want something done exactly how everyone else does it and I don’t understand why it has to be done just that one way. I can think of two other easier way to get it done in twice as less time.”

“Poor Bucky.” You stuck out your lower lip. “But I know, its hard to have to conform to their standards. But thats how society judges people. So what if so-and-so has a doctorate? That just means they went to school longer and can regurgitate the right information onto a piece of paper. Big whoop.”

Bucky just watched you and smiled as you went on your rant while you poured the steaming water into the French press. He loved it when you went on a tangent. It was cute in a way to see you get worked up over something.

“What?” You asked as you pushed the small plunger down. 

“You.” He smirked. “You’re cute when you’re pissed.”

“James,” You sighed and smiled at same time, resting your free hand on the counter, but you were quick to facepalm to hide your blush. “Why are you so adorable right now?” 

“I was about to ask you the very same question.”

You shook your head again. “Will you get me the cream and sugar please?” You pointed to the place where the items were kept as Bucky reached around the set them in front of you. “Danka.” You said before adding just the right amount to your morning coffee. Clint’s wife, Laura, had taught you a perfect combination of sweetness and the bitter flavor of the coffee beans for a soothing and yet invigorating drink. That reminded you to get a girl’s night together after Nat got back from Paris.

“Any suggestions how to approach Tony about a job?” You slowly took a sip of coffee.

“Uh, nope.” Bucky deadpanned. “He’s not hard to approach, baby.”

“Guess I’m too used to Carmichal.”

“Our friendly neighborhood suka.”

“Oh yes.” You snickered. “We need to get Tony to get him a nickname.”

“Nah,” He shook his head as he finished off his own coffee and shut his laptop. “I’ll drive you to the compound.”

“Thanks, Bucky.” You smile and go off to shower and change for the day.

-------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! Dividers by @strangergraphics

<3 Sandy

@oh-to-be-a-murderer, @fictionalmenjusthitdifferent

@crazyinlovewithmarvel, @teafangirl

If you want to be tagged(or removed!) Whenever I post fics or one-shots, send me an ask and I tag you! :D

[axkirak]

The Curse of Cassandra [EP : XIII]

Read in Ao3 : here

Pairings :  Qimir x f!reader(SEA Reader)  [The Acolyte]

Content Rating : Mature 18+ Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warning (AT YOUR OWN RISK)

tags/themes : Alternate Universe - Dune & Star wars, Partners in Crime, Strangers to Lovers

Summary : The last bloodline of House Atreides is about to reach its own conclusion. Both Yord and you understand what lies ahead and are ready to do whatever it takes to protect each other, even if it means one of you may have to sacrifice their life.

Status: just finished writing this fic! (It will end in Episode 14)

A/N : Just one chapter left until the end, and I'm feeling sad to see that many have stopped reading my fic. It's been tough to stay motivated to continue, but I want to finish what I've started. I hope those who are still following along are enjoying the story. Thank you for sticking with me

Ps.If you enjoy my work, please reblog it. Just liking the post won’t help others discover it.

➡  Intro // EP : 1 // EP : 2 // EP : 3 // EP : 4 // EP : 5 // EP : 6 // EP : 7 // EP : 8 // EP : 9 // EP : 10 // EP : 11 // EP : 12 // EP : 14 (Completed)

Special OS : Phantom Thread // My mother is my enemy

[Episodes 13] Here I am, here I remain.

"Run away with me."

You aren't particularly surprised to find Yord standing at your doorstep in the early evening; however, his sudden plea still manages to catch you off guard.

Yord is still panting, one hand gripping the doorframe tightly. His face glistens with sweat dripping from his forehead, a sign of how hard he must have pushed himself to rush here. His wide eyes looking at you reflect a whirlwind of emotions—anxiety, concern, and anger.

"You don't have to do this," Yord says, his voice serious as he continues when you remain silent. "Those plans are complete nonsense! How desperate do they have to be to drag you into such madness?"

Ah, so he knows everything, you think to yourself, assuming it was likely Jackie or Sol who told him.

The plan Yord refers to is Sol’s secret scheme, a final attempt after repeated failures to capture the new Sith Lord. It involves using you as both bait and a means to force Qimir into revealing himself.

Qimir is an unparalleled assassin known for his perfection, having never left any evidence or shown any vulnerability that could lead to his capture. The Jedi call him ‘The Stranger,’ a faceless phantom, an identity-less shadow. No one knows who he is, when he will appear, or who his next victim will be.

Until now, only you and Sol know about Qimir's past, but even that hasn’t helped solve the case. All records of his time as a Padawan were erased long ago, and Vernestra, who could have confirmed everything, is dead.

The final solution comes down to you. Your visions and the deep connection you share with Qimir are the only keys Sol believes can stop him.

You remember when Sol came to you personally to discuss the plan. You sensed the weight of his desperation and the pressure he was under to make this choice, despite the warnings you had already given him.

In your vision, Sol wasn’t even a match for Qimir. The chances of him throwing his life away in this plan were dangerously high.

Yet, despite knowing this, Sol remained determined.

"Perhaps this is the only way I can atone for what I did at Brendok," he told you in a calm voice, his eyes reflecting his weariness. "We all have sins to repay and fates we cannot escape. Let me face mine as a Jedi."

His words took root in your heart. You knew that fate wasn't just pursuing Sol—it was after you as well.

Your thoughts return to the present. You turn away, unable to meet Yord’s eyes. "It’s impossible," you finally reply, trying to keep your voice steady, but the words come out in a trembling whisper. "You're a Jedi Knight, Yord. You can't throw everything away for me."

"Fuck the Jedi and the Sith! They don’t even care if you live or die!"

You flinch. You’ve never seen Yord explode with such rage before.

Noticing your reaction, Yord realizes he's let his emotions spiral out of control. He wipes a hand over his face, taking a deep breath to calm the fury still simmering within.

“Please, I’m begging you... just come with me,” his tone softens, shifting from anger to a plea. “There’s still time for us to run. I’ll make sure no one finds you. You’ll be safe with me. I swear.”

Yord grips your hand tightly, and you can feel the tremor in his hold. The Bene Gesserit training tells you immediately what’s behind it—he’s afraid. But afraid of what?

“This has nothing to do with you, Yord,” you say, feeling a pang of sympathy but not knowing how to comfort him. “But I’ve seen clearly… it’s impossible.”

You know that facing Qimir again is inevitable. Even if you fled with Yord now, it would only delay the inevitable. Eventually, Qimir will find you, and this path would lead Yord to a cruel, tragic end—something you would never allow to happen to your only living relative.

“But I’ve seen it too!” Yord blurts, still refusing to accept your decision. “I dreamt of you... of your death, at his hands. I won’t let that happen.” 

His words don’t surprise you. Instead, you offer him a soft smile. The bond inherited from Paul Atreides stirs within your heart, prompting you to instinctively caress his cheek with loving concern.

"You may have just seen it for the first time, but I've seen it a thousand times," you say, weariness lacing your voice.

You’ve seen every choice, every possible outcome, and every death of your own—both in dreams and while awake. It feels as if you’ve lived through countless deaths, and the fear you once held has long faded into numb acceptance.

This is the torment of one doomed to see everything—a suffering no ordinary person could ever understand or endure.

"But death isn't the only path," you continue. "There are still many futures that can be changed, even if just slightly. But even a slight change can make all the difference. That's why I have to follow this plan."

"Then I’m coming with you," Yord insists.

You study the determination in his eyes under the temple’s dim light, realizing just how serious he is. "Yord, I’m not sure if..."

“You can’t stop me,” he interrupts, cutting you off as if he already knows what you’re thinking. “If you won’t go with me, then I’ll go with you.”

You want to argue, but you choose silence instead. You don't want him to come, yet you know that trying to stop him would be futile. Yord will do anything to stay by your side, to make sure you’re safe from every danger—even if it costs him his life.

And deep down, you know you’d do the same for him.

In that moment, both of you feel an unbreakable bond woven from a shared consciousness through the memories of your ancestors. The sibling love between Paul and Alia from the past intermingles with your own memories, merging into a blood bond that binds you both to your very souls.

Every path of fate and coincidence has intertwined to lead to this moment, where the last remnants of the Atreides bloodline stand before each other, waiting to take the final step toward the end of everything, together.

You press your lips tightly, your heart trembling with emotions too complex to name. Finally, you throw yourself into his arms. “I love you,” you whisper before pulling away.

Your unexpected action catches Yord off guard. He looks at you in surprise, noticing the silent fear in your eyes—the fear you refuse to voice and the fear he chooses not to ask about.

"I love you too," Yord replies, entwining his fingers with yours. In that instant, he feels as if the past and future have collapsed into one, compressing and enveloping both of you. His mind suddenly understands, without the need for explanation, that fate has already changed its course.

And though Yord can’t see visions as clearly as you do, he can still feel it…

...feel that this might be the last time he will ever see your face.

Eiram

Most of this planet is covered by vast oceans, with only a few forests deep within the islands. Scattered remnants of past disasters still litter the landscape—derelict houses crumbled by violent storms, massive trees left in unnatural positions, and the decaying remains of the Starlight Beacon, now completely covered in moss.

The ship lands silently on the beach of a deserted island. The ocean stretches behind them, dense forest lies ahead. It is peaceful and beautiful—an ideal spot for a tourist destination. Yet, Yord can’t shake the unease that gripped him the moment they arrived. Something feels wrong, but he can’t put his finger on why.

Yord tells himself it’s just the stress of the mission, but deep down, he knows it’s more. He’s sure you sense it too—the worry on your face confirms it.

“Are you all right?” Yord asks, his voice full of concern as he notices you dabbing a handkerchief to your bleeding nose.

He’s only recently learned that this always happens when you use your visions. You’ve told him it’s the price of defying nature—that each time you dive into heightened awareness, you pay the toll with your body. Yord feels sympathy for you, but there’s nothing he can do. He doesn’t have the power you do, and he has no idea how to ease the pain you endure.

“Not great, but I’ll manage,” you reply, your voice unusually cold as you nod at him. “Let’s keep going. We have a lot to deal with.”

Your gaze is steady as you look toward the wild forest ahead, the place where you told the Jedi The Stranger was hiding.

At that moment, Yord doesn’t catch the underlying meaning in your words or actions.

He doesn’t realize... until after it has already happened.

Why?

This thought races in Yord’s mind during his final moments of consciousness. His body slumps against a tree, completely immobile. Pain radiates in his head and back, and his vision slowly darkens. Yet he can still see you clearly. You stand above him with an expressionless face, holding the stun blaster—the very one he gave you for protection. It’s the same weapon you just used to shoot him from behind.

He furrows his brow, desperately trying to understand what just happened. What mistake led him to this situation?

His recent memories flash back to when the Jedi group, led by Sol and Jackie, ventured into the forest on your guidance. Yord had chosen to stay behind with you, ensuring your safety in case anything went wrong.

But they had unknowingly walked into the trap of a Sith Lord. None of them had suspected they were being watched the entire time—until the attack came suddenly when a tall man in a dark cloak lunged at them with a red lightsaber in hand. Though the man’s face was concealed beneath a strange helmet, Yord had known immediately who he was—The Stranger, the Sith Lord they had been chasing all along.

The battle erupted in a chaotic frenzy. Yord quickly realized how skilled Qimir was. His skills were no less than a master's, perhaps even beyond that. Despite being attacked simultaneously by multiple Jedi, Qimir maintained his defense steadily without flinching, countering with swift and powerful strikes. The brilliant red beam cut through the air with deadly precision. He moved too fast for anyone to keep up, and one by one, the Jedi fell before him, as if killing Jedi was no more than a simple task for him.

Yord could only watch in horror. Fear gripped his heart as he tightened his hold on his own lightsaber. In all his years as a Jedi Knight, he had never faced an opponent this terrifying.

“Yord! Get her out of here! Master and I will handle him!" 

Jackie's shout snapped Yord back to his senses. He quickly grabbed your hand, taking advantage of the chaos to escape immediately. He wasn’t even sure which direction the ship was in—all he knew was that he had to get you as far away from Qimir as possible.

A deep instinct told him that if Qimir reached you, something terrible would happen.

Yord stopped running when you suddenly pulled your hand away from his. At first, he thought you were just exhausted from running, but before he could turn to check on you, an immense force slammed into him. His body was thrown violently and crashed hard against a tree, the impact knocking the wind out of him.

And now, here he is—helpless, barely conscious, and fading fast.

His mind races, but no answers come. His blurry eyes focus on you, filled with confusion. Gathering the last bit of strength he can muster, he manages to ask, “Why?”

You slowly kneel before him. For a brief moment, Yord sees guilt in your eyes, but it quickly fades back into cold indifference.

“Because of love,” you answer him. "That's why I had to do this. Please forgive me."

Your voice sounds distant and faint. Yord wants to ask more, but the darkness spreads too quickly, swallowing him whole and completely overtaking his consciousness.

[katyspersonal]

To be honest, I don't know how to get genuinely and deeply invested in something that isn't a Soulsborne universe anymore. For me it just isn't a passing hyperfixation that can be possibly replaced with some other game, no matter how high quality or meeting my "checkmarks". The worst I do is stretch my attention span between several From's universes instead of hardlocking on just one, and I didn't even touch Sekiro with a ten yards stick yet!

But, I've found in these universes, stories and characters understanding that I've failed to find in the real world, from real people. I've always looked in art instead, I think even before any knowledge or retrospection I just always unconsciously could tell the world didn't want me. Wasted a lot of time and effort seeking comfort and understanding in other "rejects" only to be abused by them and then thrown away when they've found other people who liked them but without my glaring flaws.

But I feel "seen" with these games, like never else. I feel understood with my despair, my perspective on society and humanity, my questioning of existence, the dread, the conflict with self and world, the inevitability, the failure to come up with the decision that would solve everything forever, the wonder, the struggle, the dilemma between needing to know and better off not knowing, the cycles, the way society tries to get rid of what they fear, the distrust but hope too, the knowledge that to lose suffering is to lose happiness too but also the root of my suffering itself... it is everything. I can relate to so many characters. It understands not just me, but also humanity in general; the very humanity that never really spoke to me, but it is as if I can feel a part of it again. No wonder I sometimes fall for jealously guarding these stories and characters. It hurts when something so personal and important is grossly misunderstood and when they try to throw it into the same evil machine that has been grinding and spitting out art for over a decade now. I guess I have to hold myself back and remember that how others see it doesn't effect me personally.. except, it does when this misunderstanding of the source material leads them to be mean to me, my friends or just fans in general. And engaging and defending just will make you become this same bad thing; again, something From covered too (Abyss Watchers). I discovered hope; not because there is anything good realistically waiting for me in my life, but because From explained the concept to me coherently enough. From taught me more than any preachy posts on how to people, or my authorities, or even my parents.

I am nearing my 30s, I will soon lose even attempts to be loved and understood. I won't ever hear things like "I wish I could hug you" again, I will enter the territory of "emotionally stunted adult" everyone loathe and fear. Though what does it matter if I was condemned my whole life anyways, they will merely switch their weapon. And I will never change. What happened to me long ago was akin to being forced to grow inside of an egg long past the point of hatching, so now I hatched as a small and malformed version of an adult animal and will die fast and unaccomplished. And I at least found these games to understand me.

Only, they won't last long either. I know corporative brainrot is coming for them too, I know Miyazaki won't be able to protect their principles and quality for the rest of my feeble uneventful life. How do I know that? From's games taught me that nothing good lasts forever, it all must die and will rot horrendously if it isn't allowed to. Art as well. But I also can at least deal with it in advance, I accept deaths of concepts and things I cherish easier too. I still hope that I'll come up with my own world eventually, and that I'll also kill it before it rots.

[momentsbeforemass]

Problems with God

I get to hear a lot of people’s problems with God.

Things they don’t understand. Things they object to. Things they have against God.

As someone with a collar and a title, it means a lot to me that people trust me enough to tell me their problems with God.

Because for a lot of people, the roots of their problems with God go back to someone with a collar and a title. So telling me about it? That takes some courage.

One of the biggest problems that people have with God? It’s one that I know well. Because I still struggle with it sometimes – having to understand something in order for it to be true.

It’s a subtle way that pride smuggles itself into our thoughts. It’s subtle, because almost nobody says it that way. In practice, it sounds much more sensible, because it goes something like this,

How can bread and wine be the Body and Blood of Christ? I’ve seen it before Mass and after the consecration – there’s no visible difference. It still looks like bread and wine.

Translation – I don’t understand it, therefore it isn’t true.

This approach isn’tt limited to problems with the Eucharist. But no matter what it’s applied to, when you boil that statement down to its essence, it doesn’t work. Because it’s nonsense. Here’s what I mean,

A friend of mine donated one of his kidneys to his daughter.

I don’t understand how organ transplants work.

According to the standard of “I don’t understand it, therefore it isn’t true,” the operation must have been a failure.

And yet – notwithstanding my complete lack of understanding – the transplant was a success. Fifteen years (and a grandchild) later, both my friend and his daughter are fine.

Which tells me what? That however much I think I know, I do not possess the sum total of human knowledge. Which means that there are things that are completely true that I do not understand.

The fact that knowledge continues to grow and new discoveries are made shows us that this is a universal experience. Also, that there are things that no human being understands. And that our collective lack of understanding has no impact on their truth.

The antidote to all of this, to the vanity and closemindedness that comes with “I don’t understand it, therefore it isn’t true?” We see it in today’s Gospel. In Mary’s lived example of humility.

Instead of having to have it all figured out, instead of demanding to know exactly how it’s all going to work. Mary lives in peace. How?

By not trusting to her own understanding. By not insisting that she is the standard by which everything is to be measured.

Instead, Mary waits on God for the next step. Trusting that the Creator of the universe can handle things just fine. Even if she doesn’t completely understand how.

Mary does that (as today’s Gospel shows us) even in the darkest moments of her life. Showing you and me the source of her peace.

Showing us how to have peace in the middle of life’s very worst.

Today’s Readings

[inbredfawn]

UN Human Rights New York Office Director Craig Mokhiber has resigned in protest against the UN's incompetence and failure to intervene and acknowledge Israel's crimes against humanity in Palestine.

Dear High Commissioner,

This will be my last official communication to you as Director of the New York Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights.

I write at a moment of great anguish for the world, including for many of our colleagues. Once again, we are seeing a genocide unfolding before our eyes, and the Organization that we serve appears powerless to stop it. As someone who has investigated human rights in Palestine since the 1980s, lived in Gaza as a UN human rights advisor in the 1990s, and carried out several human rights missions to the country before and since, this is deeply personal to me.

I also worked in these halls through the genocides against the Tutsis, Bosnian Muslims, the Yazidi, and the Rohingya. In each case, when the dust settled on the horrors that had been perpetrated against defenseless civilian populations, it became painfully clear that we had failed in our duty to meet the imperatives of prevention of mass atrocites, of protection of the vulnerable, and of accountability for perpetrators. And so it has been with successive waves of murder and persecution against the Palestinians throughout the entire life of the UN.

High Commissioner, we are failing again.

As a human rights lawyer with more than three decades of experience in the field, I know well that the concept of genocide has often been subject to political abuse. But the current wholesale slaughter of the Palestinian people, rooted in an ethno-nationalist settler colonial ideology, in continuation of decades of their systematic persecution and purging, based entirely upon their status as Arabs, and coupled with explicit statements of intent by leaders in the Israeli government and military, leaves no room for doubt or debate. In Gaza, civilian homes, schools, churches, mosques, and medical institutions are wantonly attacked as thousands of civilians are massacred. In the West Bank, including occupied Jerusalem, homes are seized and reassigned based entirely on race, and violent settler pogroms are accompanied by Israeli military units.

Across the land, Apartheid rules.

This is a text-book case of genocide. The European, ethno-nationalist, settler colonial project in Palestine has entered its final phase, toward the expedited destruction of the last remnants of indigenous Palestinian life in Palestine. What's more, the governments of the United States, the United Kingdom, and much of Europe, are wholly complicit in the horrific assault. Not only are these governments refusing to meet their treaty obligations "to ensure respect" for the Geneva Conventions, but they are in fact actively arming the assault, providing economic and intelligence support, and giving political and diplomatic cover for Israel's atrocities.

Volker Turk, High Commissioner for Human Rights Palais Wilson, Geneva.

In concert with this, western corporate media, increasingly captured and state-adjacent, are in open breach of Article 20 of the ICCPR, continuously dehumanizing Palestinians to facilitate the genocide, and broadcasting propaganda for war and advocacy of national, racial, or religious hatred that constitutes incitement to discrimination, hostility, and violence. US-based social media companies are suppressing the voices of human rights defenders while amplifying pro-Israel propaganda. Israel lobby online-trolls and GONGOS are harassing and smearing human rights defenders, and western universities and employers are collaborating with them to punish those who dare to speak out against the atrocities. In the wake of this genocide, there must be an accounting for these actors as well, just as there was for radio Milles Collines in Rwanda.

In such circumstances, the demands on our organization for principled and effective action are greater than ever. But we have not met the challenge. The protective enforcement power Security Council has again been blocked by US intransigence, the SG is under assault for the mildest of protestations, and our human rights mechanisms are under sustained slanderous attack by an organized, online impunity network.

Decades of distraction by the illusory and largely disingenuous promises of Oslo have diverted the Organization from its core duty to defend international law, international human rights, and the Charter itself. The mantra of the "two-state solution" has become an open joke in the corridors of the UN, both for its utter impossibility in fact, and for its total failure to account for the inalienable human rights of the Palestinian people. The so-called "Quartet" has become nothing more than a fig leaf for inaction and for subservience to a brutal status quo. The (US-scripted) deference to "agreements between the parties themselves" (in place of international law) was always a transparent slight-of-hand, designed to reinforce the power of Israel over the rights of the occupied and dispossessed Palestinians.

High Commissioner, I came to this Organization first in the 1980s, because I found in it a principled, norm-based institution that was squarely on the side of human rights, including in cases where the powerful US, UK, and Europe were not on our side. While my own government, its subsidiarity institutions, and much of the US media were still supporting or justifying South African apartheid, Israeli oppression, and Central American death squads, the UN was standing up for the oppressed peoples of those lands. We had international law on our side. We had human rights on our side. We had principle on our side. Our authority was rooted in our integrity. But no more.

In recent decades, key parts of the UN have surrendered to the power of the US, and to fear of the Israel Lobby, to abandon these principles, and to retreat from international law itself. We have lost a lot in this abandonment, not least our own global credibility. But the Palestinian people have sustained the biggest losses as a result of our failures. It is a stunning historic irony that the Universal Declaration of Human Rights was adopted in the same year that the Nakba was perpetrated against the Palestinian people. As we commemorate the 75* Anniversary of the UDHR, we would do well to abandon the old cliché that the UDHR was born out of the atrocities that proceeded it, and to admit that it was born alongside one of the most atrocious genocides of the 20* Century, that of the destruction of Palestine. In some sense, the framers were promising human rights to everyone, except the Palestinian people. And let us remember as well, that the UN itself carries the original sin of helping to facilitate the dispossession of the Palestinian people by ratifying the European settler colonial project that seized Palestinian land and turned it over to the colonists.

We have much for which to atone.

But the path to atonement is clear. We have much to learn from the principled stance taken in cities around the world in recent days, as masses of people stand up against the genocide, even at risk of beatings and arrest. Palestinians and their allies, human rights defenders of every stripe, Christian and Muslim organizations, and progressive Jewish voices saying "not in our name" to do is to follow them.

Yesterday, just a few blocks from here, New York's Grand Central Station was completely taken over by thousands of Jewish human rights defenders standing in solidarity with the Palestinian people and demanding an end to Israeli tyranny (many risking arrest, in the process). In doing so, they stripped away in an instant the Israeli hasbara propaganda point (and old antisemitic trope) that Israel somehow represents the Jewish people. It does not. And, as such, Israel is solely responsible for its crimes. On this point, it bears repeating, in spite of Israel lobby smears to the contrary, that criticism of Israel's human rights violations is not antisemitic, any more than criticism of Saudi violations is Islamophobic, criticism of Myanmar violations is anti-Buddhist, or criticism of Indian violations is anti-Hindu. When they seek to silence us with smears, we must raise our voice, not lower it. I trust you will agree, High Commissioner, that this is what speaking truth to power is all about.

But I also find hope in those parts of the UN that have refused to compromise the Organization's human rights principles in spite of enormous pressures to do so. Our independent special rapporteurs, commissions of enquiry, and treaty body experts, alongside most of our staff, have continued to stand up for the human rights of the Palestinian people, even as other parts of the UN (even at the highest levels) have shamefully bowed their heads to power. As the custodians of the human rights norms and standards, OHCHR has a particular duty to defend those standards. Our job, I believe, is to make our voice heard, from the Secretary-General to the newest UN recruit, and horizontally across the wider UN system, insisting that the human rights of the Palestinian people are not up for debate, negotiation, or compromise anywhere under the blue flag.

What, then, would a UN-norm-based position look like? For what would we work if we were true to our rhetorical admonitions about human rights and equality for all, accountability for perpetrators, redress for victims, protection of the vulnerable, and empowerment for rights-holders, all under the rule of law? The answer, I believe, is simple if we have the clarity to see beyond the propagandistic smokescreens that distort the vision of justice to which we are sworn, the courage to abandon fear and deference to powerful states, and the will to truly take up the banner of human rights and peace. To be sure, this is a long-term project and a steep climb. But we must begin now or surrender to unspeakable horror. I see ten essential points:

Legitimate action: First, we in the UN must abandon the failed (and largely disingenuous) Oslo paradigm, its illusory two-state solution, its impotent and complicit Quartet, and its subjugation of international law to the dictates of presumed political expediency. Our positions must be unapologetically based on international human rights and international law.

Clarity of Vision: We must stop the pretense that this is simply a conflict over land or religion between two warring parties and admit the reality of the situation in which a disproportionately powerful state is colonizing, persecuting, and dispossessing an indigenous population on the basis of their ethnicity.

One State based on human rights: We must support the establishment of a single, democratic, secular state in all of historic Palestine, with equal rights for Christians, Muslims, and Jews, and, therefore, the dismantling of the deeply racist, settler-colonial project and an end to apartheid across the land.

Fighting Apartheid: We must redirect all UN efforts and resources to the struggle against apartheid, just as we did for South Africa in the 1970s, 80s, and early 90s.

Return and Compensation: We must reaffirm and insist on the right to return and full compensation for all Palestinians and their families currently living in the occupied terntones, in Lebanon, Jordan, Syria, and in the diaspora across the globe.

Truth and Justice: We must call for a transitional justice process, making full use of decades of accumulated UN investigations, enquiries, and reports, to document the truth, and to ensure accountability for all perpetrators, redress for all victims, and remedies for documented injustices.

Protection: We must press for the deployment of a well-resourced and strongly mandated UN protection force with a sustained mandate to protect civilians from the river to the sea.

Disarmament: We must advocate for the removal and destruction of Israel's massive stockpiles of nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons, lest the conflict lead to the total destruction of the region and, possibly, beyond.

Mediation: We must recognize that the US and other western powers are in fact not credible mediators, but rather actual parties to the conflict who are complicit with Israel in the violation of Palestinian rights, and we must engage them as such.

Solidarity: We must open our doors (and the doors of the SG) wide to the legions of Palestinian, Israeli, Jewish, Muslim, and Christian human rights defenders who are standing in solidarity with the people of Palestine and their human rights and stop the unconstrained flow of Israel lobbyists to the offices of UN leaders, where they advocate for continued war, persecution, apartheid, and impunity, and smear our human rights defenders for their principled defense of Palestinian rights.

This will take years to achieve, and western powers will fight us every step of the way, so we must be steadfast. In the immediate term, we must work for an immediate ceasefire and an end to the longstanding siege on Gaza, stand up against the ethnic cleansing of Gaza, Jerusalem, and the West Bank (and elsewhere), document the genocidal assault in Gaza, help to bring massive humanitarian aid and reconstruction to the Palestinians, take care of our traumatized colleagues and their families, and fight like hell for a principled approach in the UN's political offices.

The UN's failure in Palestine thus far is not a reason for us to withdraw. Rather it should give us the courage to abandon the failed paradigm of the past, and fully embrace a more principled course. Let us, as OHCHR, boldly and proudly join the anti-apartheid movement that is growing all around the world, adding our logo to the banner of equality and human rights for the Palestinian people. The world is watching. We will all be accountable for where we stood at this crucial moment in history. Let us stand on the side of justice.

I thank you, High Commissioner, Volker, for hearing this final appeal from my desk. I will leave the Office in a few days for the last time, after more than three decades of service. But please do not hesitate to reach out if I can be of assistance in the future.

Sincerely,

Craig Mokhiber

[wyrdhearth]

A GUIDE TO ALL MY D&D OCS :

SA'HARA AL-NOOR : dhampir shadows bard/shadow sorcerer. 103. demisexual (no pref).

born a dhampir blessed by the demi-goddess known as 'the mother', sa'hara grew up in the village of lazul in the deserts of marquet. when she was young, barbarians attacked and razed the village, killing both the mother, and sa'hara and her sister, sekmet's, parents. years later, a brown dragon (ananeksi, the scald of the sands), plagued the village. asking for young girls to be sent to her every few days for her to eat. when sekmet was choken, sa'hara took her place, sending sekmet away. however, sa'hara managed to enchant ananeksi with her stories. she remained her treasured prisoner for over 90 years, until she could finally escape. sa'hara is part of the adventuring group, the tale-tellers, and can be recruited as a bg3 companion; though her main verse for bg3 is as 'tav'.

ZHENYA DY'SHENKO : bear shifter grave cleric. 30. bisexual (no pref).

growing up among her tribal community within the dyrweald mountains of kadrea (my own homebrew world), zhenya was raised in the old ways of healing, craft and magicks. as a worshipper of bredúril, the horn of the green hunt –– a woodland spirit from the fey realm –– she believes in the cycle of life and renewal and carries no fear of death, for it is only another beginning. zhenya believes that the dying must be treated with respect, and that their ailments must be eased. she travels as a cleric, assisting with burial rights and helping ease the burden of the passing soul in any way she can. zhenya can be recruited as a bg3 companion, and she is most worried about the illithid threat and what it means for everyone's souls.

SEV'ERAE KELJORN : moon elf runechild sorcerer. 29. straight.

sev'erae comes from a royal elven family that was wiped out by the noble human keljorns. she was taken in by them when she was a babe, and raised as though adopted by them –– privileged and haughty, sev'erae grew up with complete faith and fealty in her family, never knowing what they did to her parents, or why. when she was told that she would be put in an arranged marriage with that of a neighboring lord, sev'erae panicked, for the only thing she'd ever wanted was true love. so, she ran away, hoping to concoct some plan that would convince her mother and father not to marry her off to a stranger. sev'erae has a bg3 verse in which she is 'tav' –– but can also be recruited as a companion.

ASTORYA LUNAMOTH : tiefling blighted druid. 28. demisexual (pref women).

astorya never was supposed to be a druid. the child of two well-known murderers who was then adopted by a well-to do family, she grew up intending to become a botanist. but after things went south at the university she attended, she was cast out and forced to reinvent her life. lonely, she built herself a child made of flowers and roots to keep her company –– but in the midst of a storm, they came to life. she came to love this child, chimerai (or chi), as her own flesh and blood. but then a mysterious expedition came trampling through her, abducted chi, and knocked astorya into a coma that would last several long months. when she woke up, chi was gone and so was her leg. armed now with a prosthetic, astorya travels searching for her child. astorya can be recruited as a companion in bg3.

FALLON : protector aasimar ghostslayer bloodhunter. 25. straight.

once part of the holy order of bahumat's finest paladins, fallon (then named elysia tealcraft) was exiled after her cowardly failures on the battlefield, during which she fled and allowed several of her friends to perish. humiliated and ashamed, elysia cast away her oath of devotion and turned to the sanguine arts of the bloodhunter orders. deciding to make up for her past by reinventing her future –– she picked up the name fallon and became something of a mercenary for hire, hunting the monsters that lurk in the night without mercy or falter. fallon can be recruited as a bg3 companion.

KRYN OF DOST : changeling eloquence bard. 24. bisexual (pref men).

a changeling raised in the town of dost along the coast of marquet, kryn grew up raised as human as could be. after falling in love with a handsome halfling named vallen, she (or they, depending on the mood) was heartbroken when he died of a sickness no one could cure. unable to remain in her town for much longer and haunted by her lost love, kryn left dost and decided to explore all the world has to offer. they work as a golden grin operative/a harper, and has a propensity for causing some well-meaning chaos wherever she goes. kryn can be recruited as a bg3 companion.

[luxuryunpluggedpodcast]

How To Overcome Fear Meditation: A Journey into the Unknown

Fear is a universal emotion — one that every human being has encountered in some form or another. Whether it’s fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of the future, or even fear of success, this potent emotion can paralyze progress and dampen our spiritual and emotional well-being. Yet, when approached with presence and awareness, fear can also become a doorway into profound growth and transformation.

In this article, we delve into the spiritual practice of Fear Meditation and explore exactly how to overcome fear using mindfulness, breathwork, and heart-centered awareness. This is not about eliminating fear completely — because fear, in many ways, serves a purpose — but rather about learning how to sit with fear, understand it, and transmute it into inner strength.

Understanding the Nature of Fear

Before we begin our journey through Fear Meditation, we must understand what fear truly is.

Fear is a primal response designed to protect us. It originates in the amygdala, the part of the brain that governs emotional reactions and survival instincts. In ancient times, fear kept us alive in dangerous situations. However, in modern life, our fear is often psychological rather than physical — yet the response is the same.

We fear the unknown, we fear change, and we fear loss. But most fear is mental projection, a story our mind tells about something that hasn’t even happened.

How to overcome fear starts with recognizing that you are not your fear. You are the awareness that observes the fear.

The Role of Meditation in Overcoming Fear

Meditation provides a safe and sacred container to witness fear without judgment. It gives us tools to slow down our racing thoughts, regulate our breath, and connect to a deeper sense of self that is not governed by fear.

Through Fear Meditation, we invite fear into the space of compassion and curiosity. Instead of running from it or suppressing it, we lean into it. And in that leaning, we begin to transform.

What Is Fear Meditation?

Fear Meditation is a form of mindfulness or guided visualization meditation that focuses specifically on fear. Unlike general meditation, it encourages you to bring your fear into full consciousness and work with it intentionally.

This process involves:

Becoming aware of where fear resides in the body.

Identifying the root cause or trigger.

Using breath, visualization, and affirmation to transform the fear.

Learning to meet the unknown with grace rather than resistance.

How To Overcome Fear: Step-by-Step Through Meditation

Let’s walk through a powerful and effective practice of Fear Meditation — a meditative journey into the unknown:

Step 1: Prepare Your Space

Find a quiet and peaceful place where you will not be disturbed. Sit comfortably on a cushion or chair with your spine straight. Close your eyes and place your hands gently on your knees or heart.

Step 2: Breathe with Intention

Begin by taking deep, slow breaths. Inhale for a count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat for several minutes. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming your mind and body.

As you continue to breathe, say silently:

“I am safe in this moment. I am grounded. I am present.”

Step 3: Name Your Fear

Bring to mind a specific fear you are currently experiencing. It could be fear of public speaking, fear of financial instability, fear of being alone, or fear of illness. Name it.

Now ask yourself:

“Where do I feel this fear in my body?”

Maybe it’s tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, or tension in your jaw. Place your hand over that area and breathe into it.

Step 4: Visualize the Fear

Imagine the fear as a shape, a color, or a cloud. See it clearly in your mind’s eye. Now, slowly begin to shift the energy around it. Imagine it softening, changing colors, or dissolving in light.

Say to the fear:

“I see you. I honor you. I am here to listen.”

This step is not about getting rid of the fear, but transforming your relationship to it.

Step 5: Use Affirmations

As you continue breathing, begin to repeat one or more of the following affirmations:

“I am stronger than my fear.”

“I walk with courage and clarity.”

“My fear is a messenger, not a master.”

“I trust the unknown.”

These affirmations rewire your subconscious beliefs and help shift your emotional state from fear to empowerment.

The Spiritual Side of Fear

Fear isn’t always the enemy — it can be a spiritual teacher. It shows you where your growth edge lies. Fear reveals the places where love has not yet reached.

In the teachings of many spiritual traditions, fear is considered a necessary challenge on the path to awakening. In Buddhism, fear is seen as an illusion of the ego. In Christianity, perfect love is said to cast out fear. In yogic philosophy, fear (bhaya) is one of the primary obstacles to liberation.

Thus, learning how to overcome fear is not just emotional — it is deeply spiritual.

Real-Life Transformations with Fear Meditation

Thousands of people around the world have used Fear Meditation to change their lives. Consider these real-world examples:

A woman with chronic anxiety began meditating daily and was able to reduce her panic attacks by 80%.

A startup founder terrified of failure used guided Fear Meditation to build the confidence to pitch investors and grow his business.

A cancer survivor used meditation to face her fear of death and discovered profound inner peace in the process.

The secret? Consistency, self-compassion, and the courage to go within.

How to Integrate Fear Meditation Into Your Daily Life

To make the most of this practice, consider the following tips:

1. Daily Practice

Even five minutes of Fear Meditation a day can create significant shifts. The consistency signals your subconscious that you are choosing peace over panic.

2. Keep a Fear Journal

After your meditation, write down any insights, sensations, or emotions that came up. Over time, you’ll notice patterns and progress.

3. Combine with Breathwork

Deep diaphragmatic breathing is one of the fastest ways to calm fear. Practice breathing techniques such as box breathing or alternate nostril breathing before meditating.

4. Use Sound or Music

Soothing music, Tibetan singing bowls, or binaural beats can enhance the meditation experience and help release stuck energy.

5. Seek Community Support

Joining a meditation group or online community can provide accountability and shared growth. Sometimes the greatest healing happens in shared vulnerability.

Final Thoughts: The Gift of Facing Fear

Ultimately, the practice of how to overcome fear is a return to love. Fear disconnects us from our truth; meditation brings us back. When you sit with your fear rather than run from it, you begin to realize that fear is not a wall, but a doorway.

Through the sacred art of Fear Meditation, you learn that fear is not your enemy — it is your invitation to deepen into presence, courage, and wisdom.

Let this journey into the unknown be your path to freedom. And when fear arises again — as it surely will — you will be ready.

With breath. With stillness. With love.

Bonus: 5-Minute Guided Script for Fear Meditation

You can record this in your own voice or listen to it slowly:

“Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in. And exhale completely. Feel the ground beneath you, supporting you. Now bring to mind the fear that’s been weighing on your heart. See it. Name it. Feel it. Now breathe into it gently. Say with love: I’m here for you. I am stronger than my fear. I choose courage over comfort. I trust the unfolding of life. With each breath, feel the fear melting into light. With each exhale, let go. You are safe. You are free. You are loved.”

[cebomar09-blog]

The Archetype of the Master and the Emissary

Earlier this year, I attended a fantastic workshop by Dr. Mary Jo Peebles. What struck me most about the content was the third segment of the workshop, which was devoted to balancing left- and right-hemispheric processing. I cannot help but see the topic archetypally and existentially, and I was reminded that a properly functioning anything requires balance and integration, whether that’s societies, individual psyches, families, relationships, or our bodies.

The left hemisphere of the brain needs the right just as liberals need conservatives, females need males, and Yin needs Yang. Chaos and potential lean upon order and structure, darkness upon light, etc. This primordial tension courses through every domain of reality. In Genesis, for example, Yahweh fashions Eve as ezer kenegdo. Ezer translates to “helper” or “rescuer”, and kenegdo translates to “according to the opposite of him” (ancient Hebrew). The core idea is a counterpart who stands face‑to‑face, neither above nor below, so that together they form a dynamic whole (Freedman, 1983, as cited in Peterson, 2024).

Dr. Peebles drew on Ian McGilchrist’s The Master and His Emissary to ground this balance neurologically. Peebles described how McGilchrist demonstrates that each hemisphere presents a qualitatively distinct perspective on the world. The right hemisphere, often referred to as the “master,” engages reality holistically and contextually, rooted in embodiment and relationship. In contrast, the left, the “emissary,” dissects, categorizes, and pursues outcomes with the scalpel of language and linear thought. The left brain—like masculinity—is often static, rational, results-oriented; the right—like femininity—is sensory, intuitive, spontaneous, birthing novelty. (These characteristics map well to the general dispositions of those on the political left and those on the political right, but are opposite because each respective hemisphere controls its opposite side.) Yet neither chaos nor order can thrive in isolation.

Carl Jung sharpens the point in Answer to Job (1973): “Perfection is a masculine desideratum, while woman inclines by nature to completeness” (Jung would be more consistent to use masculine/feminine rather than male/female there). Perfection, he observes, is precise and stable but ultimately sterile, like Michelangelo’s breathless statue of David. Completeness, in contrast, is open‑ended, imperfect, yet forever carries “the seeds of its own improvement.” Pushed to the extreme, masculine perfectionism “always ends in a blind alley,” while unchecked feminine completeness “lacks selective values” and drifts without form (Jung, 1973, p. 33).

 Integration, Peebles and Jung insist, is the remedy. The discriminating sharpness of perfection must meet the relational capacity of completeness so that the brain, therapy, and life can keep moving forward without sacrificing harmony. The book of Genesis anticipates this neuropsychological drama. Adam’s task of naming the animals is a paradigmatic exercise in left-hemispheric categorization, an emissary’s labor of ordering and cataloging the world. Eve’s arrival, by contrast, is saturated with right‑hemispheric quality: she incarnates the master who invites communion. To further the point, she is drawn out of Adam rather than fashioned beside him, embodying intimacy, mutuality, and the poetry of recognition— “This at last is bone of my bones …” 

Their delicate harmony—and humanity’s recurring failure to sustain it—mirrors the very imbalance that threatens both therapy rooms and civilizations.

References

Freedman, R. D. (1983). Woman, a power equal to man. Biblical Archaeology Review, 9(1), 56-58.

Jung, C. G. (1973). Answer to Job. Princeton University Press.

Peebles, M. J. (2025, April 4). Getting therapy unstuck—and making change stick [PowerPoint slides]. Indiana Society for Psychoanalytic Thought.

Peterson, J. B. (2024). We Who Wrestle with God: Perceptions of the Divine. Penguin Publishing Group.

[peterchiublack]

国土安全部批示文件Washingion, DC 20528

Department of Homeland Homeland Security May 22. 2025

Maureen Martin School Code: BOS214F00162000

Harvard University

Harvard International Office

1350 Massachusetts Ave., Rm. 864

Cambridge, MA 02138

Maureen_Martin@Harvard.edu

Harvard's Student and Exchange Visitor Program Decertion

I am writing to inform you that effective immediately, Harvard University's Student and

Exchange Visitor Program certification is revoked.

As I explained to you in my April letter, it is a privilege to enroll foreign students, and is also a privilege to employ aliens on campus. All universities must comply with Department of

multiple requests to provide the Department of Homeland Security pertinent information while

perpetuating an unsafe campus environment that is hostile to Jewish students, promotes pro-Hamas sympathies, and employs racist "diversity, cquity, and inclusion" policies, you have lost this privilege.

The revocation of your Student and Exchange Visitor Program certitication means that Harvard is prohibited from having any aliens on F- or J- nonimmigrant status for the 2025-2026 academic school year. This decertification also means that existing aliens on F- or J-nonimmigrant status must transfer to another university in order to maintain their nonimmigrant status.

This action should not surprise you and is the unfortunate result of Harvard's failure to comply with simple reporting requirements.

On April 16, 2025, I requested records pertaining to nonimmigrant students enrolled at Harvard .

University, including information regarding misconduct and other offenses that would render foreign students inadmissible or removable. Om April 30, 2025, Harvard's counsel provided

information that he represented as responsive to my request. It was not.As a courtesy that Harvard was not legally entitled to, the Acting DHS General Counsel responded on my behalf

招收国际学生的特权

Harvard again

provided an insufficient re

Consequences must follow to send a clear signal to Harvard and all universities that want to enjoy the privilege of enrolling foreign students, that the Trump Administration will enforce the law

and root out the evils of anti-Americanism

[brimstoneandbooks]

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes Book Review 

“You’ve no right to starve people, to punish them for no reason. No right to take away their life and freedom. Those are things everyone is born with, and they’re not yours for the taking. Winning a war doesn’t give you that right. Having more weapons doesn’t give you that right. Being from the Capitol doesn’t give you that right. Nothing does.”

Goodreads Summary 

It is the morning of the reaping that will kick off the tenth annual Hunger Games. In the Capital, eighteen-year-old Coriolanus Snow is preparing for his one shot at glory as a mentor in the Games. The once-mighty house of Snow has fallen on hard times, its fate hanging on the slender chance that Coriolanus will be able to outcharm, outwit, and outmaneuver his fellow students to mentor the winning tribute. 

The odds are against him. He's been given the humiliating assignment of mentoring the female tribute from District 12, the lowest of the low. Their fates are now completely intertwined -- every choice Coriolanus makes could lead to favor or failure, triumph or ruin. Inside the arena, it will be a fight to the death. Outside the arena, Coriolanus starts to feel for his doomed tribute... and must weigh his need to follow the rules against his desire to survive no matter what it takes. 

DETAILS/GENERAL

Pacing: fast, since there isn’t much attention to detail.

Dialogue/description: There’s more description than dialogue (??), with the dialogue feeling natural or at least nothing negative catching my eye. (I don’t remember the descriptions, so have a look when you’re back home). There’s a lot of exposition in the beginning (?), which was a bit overwhelming at first since it’s a lot at once, but it gets better once the base information is established. 

Language: simple/easy to understand. 

CHARACTERS

General

I liked a lot of the characters! There were a lot of them again, considering there were 24 mentors and 24 tributes, but once again there are a smaller group of characters that need to be remembered, and usually context is made clear when a character is brought up again, without being on/screen for a while. It was interesting to see how, at that point a lot of capitol children/mentors actually seem to be questioning the ethics of the Hunger Games, and whether the district children really deserve to be punished so brutally, when they were all as young as them if not younger during the actual war their meant to be punished for. There seems to be more self-awareness (not universally, obviously there’s also kids who think the games are great and support them wholeheartedly) than we see in The Hunger Games trilogy. One name choice I might have done differently is that it might be better if Lucky and Lucy Gray didn’t have such similar names, since, despite the second name for Lucy Gray, I kept misreading and confused the two, making me have to go back and reread a bit. Sure, it wasn’t big, but it could have been easily avoided. 

Coriolanus “Coryo” Snow

18-year-old Snow has a high social status, among other things, due to his father who was a well-known war hero. Nonetheless, the war robbed the Snow family of all their wealth. But they still have their name, and Coriolanus is set on maintaining that, no matter the cost. This dissonance between status and wealth is interesting to watch play out and to see how Coryo deals with it and tries to survive without revealing his lack of wealth.

He was five years old when the war started, and it has obviously led to some scars, which are interesting to see how they affect him and might have even doomed him. They also help sympathise with Coryo a bit more, at least at the beginning of the book, even though Snow and other Capitol citizens clearly have a far more favourable outcome in comparison to the districts. 

Coriolanus is an unlikable protagonist. He has some redeeming qualities, like his charm and determination, but he is genuinely not to be rooted for, especially considering his future in The Hunger Games trilogy. He is selfish, entitled, self-centered, superficial and lacks self-control. He seems incapable of trust or love (outside of his family). He genuinely seems to believe in the benefits of the Hunger Games (keeping the districts under control), barely questioning the ethics of them, as we see some other mentors do. His main drive seems to be his thirst for power, thoroughly enjoying the idea of someone, who is supposedly his love interest or at least friend, belonging to him like a material possession. He shares his grandma’am’s belief that he, as a Capitol citizen, is inherently better than any district citizen and he disrespects their traditions just for being different than his own and because he doesn’t understand them. It is interesting to analyse what made have made him the way he is (it actually reminded me a lot of a book I had to read for German class, called Der Untertan by Heinrich Mann, especially in regards to the protagonists’ parents and how they affected their personalities.) as he isn’t simply some kid who is inherently evil, but rather a victim of circumstance. The reasons for why he is the way he is, are far from a justification, but they are an explanation that readers might like to look into to understand Coriolanus, who genuinely seems to think he’s doing the right thing. 

Sejanus Plinth

Sejanus is probably the nicest and most innocent character in this book. He is originally part of district 2 but lives in the Capitol because of his family wealth. Although most would try to hide a past in the districts, Sejanus seems to identify with that side of him and not let others talk him into being embarrassed by it. This leads to mistrust and disgust by Coriolanus, who doesn’t understand how some district kid could be climbing up the ranks so easily and still even think of his home being in the districts. It also leads to some interesting conflicts as Sejanus has to mentor a tribute from the districts. He is righteous, sensitive and genuinely believes in the good of humanity. He is also used as a tool to make Coriolanus unlikeable by showing the reader how he treats one of the most likeable characters. 

Tigris

Tigris, a name you may recognise from the last installation of The Hunger Games trilogy, is Coriolanus’s cousin and friend. They live together with their grandmother, both having lost their parents during the war. Tigris is in love with fashion and does her best to help Coriolanus with his wardrobe, also working for a Capitol seamstress. Coriolanus sees her as the most vulnerable, caring and affectionate person he knows, and she is also responsible for his nickname “Coryo”. I really liked her! Contrary to Sejanus, Tigris was used to make Coryo more likeable by showing how much he cares and wants to protect a likeable character.

Snow’s grandmother

Coriolanus’s and Tigris’s grandmother, “Grandma’am” as dubbed by Tigris, is, simply put, not a very good person. She is strongly anti-district, seeing district citizens as blood-thirsty traitors who deserve the Hunger Games. She also supports the idea of avoxes… slaves who have their tongues cut off. She is still stuck in the days before the war and has long lost touch with reality. One of her most prized possessions is her rose garden. After the war, she was in charge of raising Tigris and Coriolanus, and she often refers to Coriolanus as “future president”, talking about how great of a president he’d be.

Lucy Gray Baird

Lucy Gray Baird is Coriolanus’s tribute for the games, from district 12. She is bold, clever, mischievous and unapologetic. She acts confident and fearless and she knows what she deserves, not hesitating to let others know. As part of the Covey, a group of musical travellers, she neither feels like part of the districts nor the Capitol. She has one of the best entrances in the book, already doing a great job at getting the reader’s attention and letting them know what kind of character she is. 

Dean Highbottom

Dean Highbottom is an interesting character since he is a gamemaker and yet doesn’t seem to support the mindset the games encourage very much. He acts as a kind of antagonist against Coriolanus, actively working against his goals of winning the prize for the best mentor and thereby getting enough money to attend university. 

POV/NARRATOR

Past tense, third-person perspective, following Coriolanus and not seeming to know any more than he does. The narrator also seems to know what Coriolanus is thinking and mirrors his opinions in descriptions. Since the narrator is constantly following Coriolanus, we get to see the Hunger Games from an outside perspective, as a mentor and watcher rather than a player, which was interesting, only having seen the player perspective before, but I feel like it would be boring for someone who hasn’t read the Hunger Games series and therefore hasn’t seen the inside perspective yet. That being said, it could be intentionally somewhat boring for readers since it’s boring for the characters as well, since the players are just hiding out of sight and there’s no way to see them. 

PLOT

The tenth annual Hunger Games. Coriolanus Snow as the mentor of Lucy Gray, trying to win a prize to be able to afford university. But after being found out for cheating during the games, he is sent away to be a Peacekeeper

Subplots: Forbidden love between Lucy Gray and Coriolanus. Corruption of Coriolanus on his desperate search for power and control. 

TROPES/CLICHES

Forbidden love, impoverished patrician, star-crossed lovers, outsider (Sejanus), open ending, dead parents, gray morality, career or love, unreliable narrator, after the war.

WORLDBUILDING

TBoSaS takes place ten years after the end of the war caused by the first rebellion of the districts. After this war, the Capitol’s air force is weakened and the Capitol citizens experience inflation. It was possible for incredibly wealthy people who helped in the war to live in the Capitol, despite coming from the districts (Sejanus). And it’s possible for people with a high status to have lost all their wealth (Snow) and struggle to survive in the Capitol without losing their status. The Hunger Games have been running for ten years, annually, and they are clearly not as polished as 64 years later when The Hunger Games trilogy takes place (in terms of things like arena, mentors, cameras, sponsorships). This makes them much less secure and much more prone to get boring to watch. 

Capitol citizens typically see district citizens as far below them, inherently evil and primitive. Capitol citizens can and often do become peacekeepers for the districts. 

Generally interesting to see how the world affected Panem and how much the Capitol evolved between TBoSaS and The Hunger Games, while the districts don’t seem to have changed all that much (from what we see). 

SETTING

Capitol. Arena. District 12 (spoiler). The Capitol isn’t too interesting, besides seeing how it was affected by the war. It’s also interesting to compare Capitol and district, although we don’t really see the full Capitol experience, since Snow is poor despite his status, which puts him at a disadvantage (although it is still much easier to survive with than it is in the districts and it’s easier to climb up the ranks financially, while it seems practically impossible in the lower districts). The arena also isn’t really too interesting, without the comparison with The Hunger Games six decades later. There’s just nothing too special about the settings, in my opinion, especially if there isn’t the added interest of how things were before The Hunger Games trilogy, which is only really there if you’ve already read The Hunger Games. Later in the book there’s callbacks to a lot of settings from The Hunger Games trilogy, which was really cool, which of course also requires you to have read The Hunger Games for it to be interesting. Although the settings later in the book did seem a lot more interesting, since Snow was put into an unknown environment, which should also be enjoyable even if you haven’t read the prior books. 

THEMES

Control, contract & chaos (how they intertwine). War. Control. Power. Ambition. Poverty. Inequality. Forbidden love. War aftermath/constant war. Colonialism. Rooting for a longshot (/underdog?). Victim of circumstance. Trust. Loyalty. Human Nature. 

GENERAL NOTES

I did like TBoSaS, but I feel like a big reason for why I liked it was because I read The Hunger Games beforehand. 

As I mentioned, it was really interesting to see The Hunger Games at such an early stage (Mentors. Watching the Hunger Games is obligatory. Sponsors. Treatment. Like animals. Alliances. Betting on tributes. Fans. Interactivity. Dead tributes staying in the arena. Showing the tributes who have died. Prizes.) 

Interesting/important quotes: “It’s not over until the Mockingjay sings”; “Snow lands on top.”; “No control leads to chaos”

I really enjoyed all the callbacks! (Communicuffs. Mockingjay. Blood rain. Not liking to owe people stuff. Hoarding food. Lamb stew with dried plums. District 12: The Hob, the seam, the lake, katniss roots, Snow killing his enemies)

More new questions than answers ( → whether that is good or bad depends on why you would read a prequel about the antagonist) + open ending 

Some things were a bit unclear/confusing and needed some interpretation from the reader, especially towards the end. Again, whether this is a good or bad thing depends on the reader! I generally didn’t know how to feel towards the end because, although it’s not that it came out of nowhere, I guess I was expecting more foreshadowing and build-up (just like with The Hunger Games: Mockingjay) but maybe I just wasn’t paying enough attention. Or maybe the author values a shocking ending more than one that was thoroughly established through foreshadowing. Which works for a lot of readers! But it’s not really for me. (That isn’t to say the ending didn’t make sense, especially considering Snow’s past of suddenly losing all his wealth and power and control, which is probably what made him so power-hungry. I was just surprised that he so quickly jumped to killing Lucy Gray, without any regret in retrospect. I expected there to be more of a process, rather than a jump. I suppose the switch just seemed so close to the end. Not out of nowhere and not unexpected, but it felt like there would be more build-up and then confusion leading to a conclusion, I suppose. I mean, he went from “nah, she wouldn’t snitch on me.” To “well, she’s a witness, guess I have to kill her” in seconds. Maybe he just thinks that everyone just as unworthy of trust as he is.) 

[almaqead]

"The Wallah Qaton." From Surah 50, Surah Qaf, "The Heart."

There is an expansive universe inside a man's chest, one that cannot be known unless he follows a short, straight, narrow path to the Qaf, explained in the Surah after the same name:

50: 17-21:

"As the two recording-angels—˹one˺ sitting to the right, and ˹the other to˺ the left—note ˹everything˺,

not a word does a person utter without having a ˹vigilant˺ observer ready ˹to write it down˺.1 

˹Ultimately,˺ with the throes of death will come the truth.1 This is what you were trying to escape!

And the Trumpet will be blown.1 This is the Day ˹you were˺ warned of.

Each soul will come forth with an angel to drive it and another to testify."

Commentary:

The Quran identifies three angels that reside in the heart which is identified above with the Ark of the Covenant. The first angel is yesterday, the second is the Self, the third is tomorrow. None of these matter people who are alone, they are torture and drudgery. So Allah told Muhammad to tell believers the end of loneliness on a safe planet was one of man's top priorities.

Because there are numerical coefficients present in the ayat above and a time period, a Day, we must refer to the Gematria in order to know God's innermost thoughts on the subject:

As two angels note everything: the Number is 14009, יד‎קט, yedkat, "the small hand."

"Kat" in Hebrew (קָת) is used as a transliteration of the Hebrew word "qat" (קָט), which means "small thing". This root, קטן (qaton), also means to be small or insignificant, and is used to form adjectives like קטן (qatan) and קטן (qaton) meaning small, young, or insignificant."

Ultimately, the throes of death will come. The Number is 14316, ידשיד‎, yedid, "a beloved friend."

When we are young and too randy, making far too many mistakes, Allah says we anticipate a very good friend in whose arms we want to live and die. Persons who acknowledge their deep grief over their failures to find this in life are the Angels He warned Muhammad about.

Each soul will come forth with an angel to drive it and another to testify." The Number is 5035, ןלה, walla, "Voila."

Some truths are inconsequential. Allah does not proffer unimportant truths. In this short section of the Qaf, He has told us how to judge all other sayings of sooth and disregard those that do not matter at all.

This one says in the words of the beloved one can trust the most.

The final Gemara is יד‎קטידשידןלה, Idkti dshidanla, "I updated my profile, all that we knew."

This explains much as I have tried why Allah gave the Quran to the Angel who gave it to Mo who gave it to us. This is because the wisdom of heaven must be kept alive, it must be evernew.

We are afraid of this God and His Messenger out of an inferior, worthless, senseless ignorance. But the Quran is legitimate as are the lives of the people that follow it. God has proven it.

We know we can surely trust Him, as He has told us falling in love is the only acceptable way to wend the days. If you follow my stuff, you will see God has been pressing us closer to this moment, a miracle penned by His Hand. One we need in order to excite the onset of the Masjid. You cannot live the way you are living, you need more. Help me give it to you. Read the Quran. Persons who read the Quran and change their hearts gain the world in return.

The Surah will continue.