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2badshewonteatacookie · 5 years

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HOW TO STOP BINGING

Hey guys,

I see a lot of people who are struggling with binge eating in this Community. And I don't mean the "oh I ate over 1000 calories" binging, I mean the 3.000 -over 10.000 calories binging.

My Story : I always had a fast metabolism and was always the skinny girl who would eat a lot. Then I discoverd the pro-ana community and I thought I could become even skinnier, so I started restricting, but I always stayed over 1000 calories. I lost a lot of weight people where concerned and always commenting on how skinny and unhealthy I looked blablabla, I loved it. But then I would have these cravings and I would eat a lot, so I got back to my starting weight, over the years it got worse because I would try to restrict during the week and always binge on the weekend. Holidays where the worst, because I had no routine and would binge every day. Last year I finshed high school and started a gap year in the USA and maybe going to the US with binge eating disorder was the worst Idea of my life. In the last 8 month I gained over 22 lbs /10 kg. A lot of shit happend at home and I wasn't there, so I would eat my feelings, I would stay in bed for weeks and eat 10 whole meals a day until I thought I would die from a heart attack because I ate so much. I have a 9 to 5 job in an Office right now, so I dont move a lot. Most days I get up go to Work and have lunch, go back home have dinner, eat a lot of Snacks watch TV go to bed. But since a few weeks I am binge free, I still eat too much and not healthy all the time, but it's getting better slowly and I already lost some Weight. So here are my things that help me.

🌻Accept it.

You have Binge eating disorder, Yeah it sucks, and it's gonna happen again! Nothing sucks more than having this anorexic beauty standart /goal in your head, but binge eating at the same time. But this is where we are right now, so accept it. And dont promise yourself to never binge again, this will put you under pressure and you will most likley binge again! Promise yourself to get better.

🥗 Eat healthy.

All this processed food will lead to more cravings and wont make you full. Also healthy food is lower in calories, more nutrional and will make you feel better.

📺 Eat mindful.

Don't eat in front of any media. If you have time prepare your food and eat slowly. I used to eat every meal while watching something on my Phone, to the point where I couldnt watch something without craving food. Yeah eating in silence is boring but it will stop you from over eating. Also dont eat in your room!

🕛Eat regulary

Try to eat at the same time every Day. That doesnt mean you have to eat exactley at 12pm but try to eat around that time. What Works for me is having 3 big meals a day. But there are so many options like 3 meals two snacks etc. Just try to have a routine. It helps especially when you have trouble knowing when you are hungry or full. I try not to eat after 7pm because I know that thats mostly emotional /binge eating. And dont freak out if something unplanned is happening and you can't eat at that certain time. Its ok thats life. Try again tomorrow.

👭Eat with friends.

Especially when you feel like binging. Call a friend, do a sleepover. Eating with others will stop you from eating like a pig. Maybe you will still overeat but at least not until your stomache hurts.

😴 Get enough sleep.

If you lack of sleep your body is trying to get the energy from food, so you will eat more. Try to get 7-9 hours every night. And have a certain bedtime. I had most of my binges after 10pm but if you sleep you can't eat!

🏡 Get out of the house.

If you are at home it's easier to binge. No one is watching you and you have all the food around you. Try to have something to do every Day. Meet with friends, get a hobby. Even if you have work to do, do it somewhere else like the libary.

🙅Avoid Stress.

Bad feelings like stress will lead to binging. If you have a big project to do and you don't know how to start and you procastinate, that will lead to guild and stress. Start early, ask for help, prepare for a binge. Dont let other people Stress you, especially family members love to tell you how many things you should be doing and how far you are behind and how easy it is to do All of this. Its ok, breathe, especially with Depression and an eating disorder it often feels like you are stuck in life and everyone else figured it out. Its not like that! Your trying! As long as you keep trying you are not stuck!!!

👸Don't compare yourself to others!!!!

This is maybe the most improtant one. Dont compare yourself, yes there are people where it seems like there are perfect, they have all this energy and they are good in everything. But who cares? They are not you, you should only compare yourself with yourself. Everything else will make you feel like you can never do it and you will never be good enough. But if you only Focus on your own progress you will get happy and stay motivated.

🐢 Be slow.

Yes I know we all want to see change as soon as possible. But change takes time. Think about where you would be right now if you made slow but constant progress?! Yeah we see all these people who eat under 1000 calories exercise every day and have straight A's. But you tried that right? It worked for a week and then you binge again. Dont overwhelm yourself Start slow. Start with one challange a week. Set yourself realistic Goals. For example exercise 4 times a week. Thats your goal for the week nothing else. You could stay in bed all Day and eat, as long as you exercise 4 times a week. It works, I promise you wont stay in bed all Day, but if your brain thinks you could then it doesnt feel like restricting and you wont binge. Its So weird but the Moment you tell yourself Im gonna binge again and it's ok, you are less likley to binge. The mindset, I never gonna binge again, is the most dangerous.

⭐Dont be a fucking perfectionist!

I told myself so many times Im gonna eat healthy and then I would eat one drop of olive oil and be like fuck it now Im gonna eat 10.000 calories of junk! There are so many diffrend ways to reach your goal! Not this one perfect way. And even the most perfect people are not always perfect. You dont have to be perfect to reach your goal!!!!!!!! Slow progress!!!! Kill your All or nothing mindest!!

🍕Enjoy your binge.

If you are about to binge, keep calm, Trink some water. Call a friend, prepare your binge food, try to make it more healthy,for example vegan junk food or stuff like hummus and Avocado, wich are tasty and high in calories but healthy. Binging on more healthy food will make you feel better than binging on McDonalds and your skin is not going to break out, also it is hader to eat as many calories with healthy food. Enjoy the food, dont just swallow it!

🚫Dont restrict the day after!

It seems so logic right? I binge, now Im gonna starve the next Day. But this will ALWAYS lead to another binge. Dont skip meals! Move on as if nothing happend!

🤸Learn to fill the void

Lets be honest there are only 2 reason why we binge,1. You don't eat enough and your body is trying to get the nutrition. And 2. you're trying to feel better. Tasty food is releasing Dopamin and we feel good, at least while we are eating. But after you binge you feel disgusting and like a failure. So you have to find something else to fill that void. I read once that for every Bad habit you want to break you need 5 good habits. So find something that makes you happy. Start your Day dancing to your favourite songs. Meet with friends. Exercise. Watch your favourite Show without any distraction. Draw. Masturbate :) whatever makes you happy.

🌈Stay motivated.

Remember, progress is slow. Sometimes you wont see any change, your brain will tell you it's not worth it and to just give up. Remember why you started. Keep a tumblr with stuff that inspires and motivates you, but don’t compare yourself with others! Search for people who have the same problems it's not a race, be Kind to each other motivate each other. And don’t use your whole energy for this one goal, focuse on other things in life, time will go faster that way. Dont search for change in the morrior everyday! You got this!

🍑Hope this helps someone. If you have more Tips please share. If you have questions ask me and if you want to chat, message me.

Sorry for my spelling btw.

#binge eating recovery #bingeeating #anti binge #stop binging #active thinspo #thinspo #eating disorder #healthy eating #motivation #inspiration #me #personal #Depression #overeating #mental health

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lord-of-fidgets · 3 years

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...okay anon here I hit send too early

Anyways. I don’t know how old you are, if you’re a minor or not which would make things more complicated, but if you’re able to I would look into what shelters exist near you or what LGBT charities are near you that you could eventually go to?

Your situation sucks, it’s not fair and I’m so sorry you have to deal with it. But you are NOT evil or sinful and there is NOTHING wrong with you. I don’t know where you are in the world but you are NOT alone and if you need help, there are people that can and will help you. Hang in there.

Thank you, anon my post may have been a little unclear about that sort of thing as I wrote it while it was late ( early ? It was past Midnight ) and contemplating committing die. I’m not a minor - thus I know LEGALLY I could just - walk out. But i’m not able to do that realistically due to my financial status, no car ( the one I saved up to buy is having troubles, even with a new battery it won’t start ), and no long term job. I also have a dog I cannot and will not leave behind because even if he isn’t “registered” he fulfills the same duty as an ESA. And also, because of the mental/emotional abuse side of things, I’m always replaying the things they’ve said and drilled into me inside my head. It’s a tough fight when the enemy isn’t just your own depression and anxiety, but also the internal voices of abusers that have kept you well beneath their thumbs. As an adult, there is very few options left for me. Especially as an autistic adult. A trans autistic adult. I have researched various LGBTQ places but there is either none... or they’re directed at younger teens. Which shows how few resources there are for emergancy places there are for these sorts of situations. I’ve been burning myself out by thinking this in circles. Also, I’m bound by a certain radius as I’m in college and have a summer job I’m bound to. I’ve almost called those LGBTQ hotlines but always worried that “im not bad enough off yet” and back down. I feel backed into a corner and there’s that very real fear I have one of these times I will act upon my “commit die” urges- since I’ve been in the hospital for suicide watches before.

I thank you for your positive voice. You’re very kind.

I battle my own internalized transphobia towards myself ( and myself alone ironically ) and try to tell myself I’m faking it. Even though I would kill ( not literally ) to be able to transition. To the IRL’s I am out to, they use he/him and my prefered name and it feels *GREAT*. Wearing the binder someone got me I feel GREAT. Then I’ve had times where I’ve just literally wanted to tear off my chest because this ISN’T my body. This isn’t fair. I deal with top and bottom dysphoria and when someone uses my preferred name and pronouns or calls me “sir” - I feel gender euphoria. I ask the sky again and again, why couldn’t I have just been born a CIS guy. WHY.

But this feels like a battle I will never win. I tell myself I should just conform and if it leads to it, marry M. But the thought is a very painful one. I fear becoming a statistic because even though we have made a lot of progress, we still have a long way to go and stories like mine prove that. There are those of us who STILL cannot come out because of safety and lack of opportunity and help to get on our feet.

My online friend knows how painful this is for me. She knows how close and how bad I can become. Honestly the thought of transitioning and being happy one day is the only reason I’m still here. But if I submit to what my family wants and instilled in me, then... I have little to live for.

I’m sorry if this means little or if it’s too much or just confusing. I’m still figuring out my thoughts and trying again to try to find a plan that will work. I know life will never be easy - I’ve been homeless, I’ve worked since I was 15/16, been through various hardships. I know life isn’t easy and was never promised to be. I’m all for finding solutions. But inside - I am terrified still.

#actuallyautistic #autistic #lgbtq #trans #ftm trans #tw suic #tw suicide #tw vent #tw abuse

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bangtanxm · 4 years

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Bookclub; March Highlight

This month’s theme was “The Darkness Within” asking for our bookclub members to find the most angstiest and darkest stories to recommend for this month. These are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! With every monthly recommendation, there is also a drabble game that everyone can participate in. You’ll find the masterlist at the end of the reviews. Happy Reading!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

PS. As this theme involves a lot of triggering topics, we’d like to emphasize to thoroughly read the disclaimers on each story. Thank you.

TEMPTATION written by linzeigh

— Summary; Yoongi and Jimin are priests. Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are hungry. — Disclaimer; pwp, demons, nsfw-content

bookclub; review

“AAAAARRHHHHH. This was so incredible. I feel like no matter what I say, it will not do this masterpiece justice. It's so sinful and forbidden, but oh how it feels so right! The gradual revelation of Jimin and Yoongi’s mutual lust for each other was masterfully written. And fuck, I love the demon trio of Jin, JK and Tae. Their interactions and teasing brought a surprisingly bright mood to the fic, and I giggled several times at JK and Tae’s bickering. The concept of them feeding of sexual tension and being able to read Jimin and Yoongi’s mind was really interesting. The blasphemy was so shocking (and surprisingly intriguing), and I kept thinking damn how far is the author gonna take it, and oh lord very very far indeed. This is a must-read for anyone who likes explicit and dark fics!!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“This fic is so good. It is lengthy, for one, which is so admirable and amazing considering it’s largely smut. Smut can be so hard to write such big fics of and keep it fresh and interesting, but this author was able to do so. They were able to really take their time with each character and it felt fresh and interesting, without being slow or repetitive which is such an awesome accomplishment. I love the small details that were added in, the fact that they didn’t bleed, probably didn’t need to breathe, were super strong, etc. – it really added to the depth of the characters themselves, which is something that is often left out of smut fics. Also the entire subject/plot. Though blasphemous in some ways, it was handled really really well and I think kind of brushed on some very important topics (like being gay and religious). Overall just a stunning piece of fiction that I will be coming back to again and again for a reread.” [anon]

THE PERFECT ILLUSION written by @softjeon & @cassiavioletblue

— Summary; He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that. — Disclaimer; mentioning of abusive behavior

bookclub; review

“this is...just wow.... the story is so interesting and unique, the writing is beautiful, the characters are so on point. Ive only read the first chapter so far and i just know this is going to be one of my classics. The universe is so well constructed, the characters very nuanced in such a short amount of time... You can see the research that went into the geisha world, and it's paying off into what i feel is a masterpiece.” [anon]

"I already had an admiration and love for geisha culture and craft so seeing this story come out the first time just made me so excited!! Granted it has darker thematic tones to it, I loved how Jimins character was so well embodied that it stuck with me even after I read it. Also Jungkook as the maiko liSTEN I GREW SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM THROUGHOUT THE STORY. That build up of his mizuage made me want to take him away to somewhere and Namjoon and Yoongi were just the best, most complimentary characters to each of them. Jimin needed someone soft and kind like Namjoon while Jungkook needed someone sort of protective and a little cheeky like Yoongi. Their dynamics just worked so freaking well and you can always count on Jey and Cat to have just the right amount of angst mixed with fluff cause damn it HURT for a while reading this but the relief of it all was so welcoming. I can't rec this fic enough honestly, the characters, the settings in the teahouse are so beautiful and I LOVE authors who aren't scared to make a member into an antagonistic character cause it added so much flavour to the chemistry OOF just well done it was so nice reminiscing with this fic again!!!” [anon]

“I read The Perfect Illusion originally as it came out. It is just as enjoyable the second time through. It was such an interesting and stunning piece, I felt. The real shining star was the slow burn aspect of it, I think, even more so than the angst or abuse aspects. The slow sort of build of romance between Joon and Jimin was really beautiful, especially with the constant looming danger of what they were doing. The gravity of it was revealed in a really slow, measured manner that I think really helped the reader feel that sense of urgency as the fic went on and we – like Namjoon, learned more and more about the situation than we’d known before. The disgust of what was being done to Jimin and JK and the other dancers was enough to roll one’s stomach, but it was done in such a way that it worked well with the fic. It wasn’t there just for shock value; everything seemed to have a purpose and a point and it wove together in a really fitting and gorgeously heartbreaking and bittersweet tale overall.” [anon]

SING FOR ME written by Trilluvium

— Summary; When Jimin set out to find Earthshine in order to save his mother, he’d been ready to give up his life. Earthshine’s keeper, however, was interested in taking more from Jimin than just his life. — Disclaimer; non-con, tentacles, rape

bookclub; review

“Just wow. Okay, so this fic is so beautifully done. There is nonconsent, yes, it’s dark, yes, but it’s so much more than that. Particularly because of the ending, which is so bittersweet – Jimin’s choice. But my thinking is, vaguely hopeful? Maybe things will turn around? But that’s just me. Either way – the real shining star in this fic is the descriptive writing. The author does such a good job of writing in a very clear and detailed manner that a lot of folks just can’t accomplish without it dragging the fic down. It feels far heavier in description than dialogue, which I think fits it perfectly. The author was able to perfectly describe this absolutely beautiful fantasy realm in which the characters are, as well as the inhuman aspects of the characters. The description left me breathless – I wasn’t distracted, struggling to imagine what a, b, or c looked like – the author painted this amazing, film quality scene in my head. And because of that, I was able to focus fully on the dialogue and action of the characters.” [anon]

WHISPERING SHADOWS written by @jooniesmind

— Summary; It’s an already tough ability, that becomes borderline impossible, when you’re scared of ghosts. And Jimin was like that. — Disclaimer; angst, ghosts, mentioning of death

bookclub; review

“This is an excellent start to what could be a really sad, beautiful fic! The descriptions used are really stunning, painting a lovely picture (and a sad one). I’d love to see what would happen if JK came back, or even just following poor terrified-of-ghosts Jimin through his life, doing his job in whatever way he can manage. I’d love to learn more about how it works, what he does (and doesn’t do) and meet other ghosts he’s had to tangle with. And other whisperers! How it works and what makes them have the ability, etcetera. There’s such a whole rich world here that I think the author really began to develop in a beautiful way.” [anon]

“this story just hits you right in the feels. the author does a great job of putting so much emotion in a little one-shot that i’m just in awe at how they’ve done it. it is perfect!” [anon]

The Chaos Theory (Love Me Now) written by leanmeancuisine

— Summary; Jeon Jungkook, Prince of the South Korean Royal Pack and CEO of the largest conglomerate in the world, was thought to be following his father’s footsteps in becoming a Purebred Alpha. Oh, how wrong was that. Freshly presented at 18, Jungkook is discovered to be a Genus—a rare and one of a kind type of wolf that has more than one special gene. — Disclaimer; ABO Dynamics, mentioning of suicide, depression, kidnapping, poly-relationship

bookclub; review

“So I read this entire wip in one sitting. And then had to lay down and sleep on it before writing this. That’s how damn good this fic is. I was absolutely blown away. The style of writing is unbelievably well done. The author was able to really create this whole world and species, essentially, borrowing from some of the more traditional tropes but changing it into something very unique and creative. It feels so entirely fresh and interesting, weaving both very well handled traumas and angst in with softer, gentler bits that give the fic a level of depth and beauty that I haven’t seen in a very long time. All of the characters are so beautifully developed; I honestly can’t think of one I prefer more than the other of the ones that we have met so far. I’m so incredibly curious about the remaining members, as well as how Jin will blend with the rest of the group as things progress. I look forward to many updates!” [anon]

“ALRIGHT DAMN what a ride and im only prologue + 1st ch in! the introduction to jungkook's is honestly so good, and the author describes the scenes so perfectly its like we're there with jungkook, annoyed at the world. These two chapters definitely got my attention and i have a feeling ill be binging this in a near future. I can't wait to see how the author develop the other boys, how they'll introduce them... im getting excited now” [anon]

MONSTER UNDER THE BED written by Born2beSad

— Summary; Namjoon’s new apartment came with a little more than he was expecting… …luckily for him and his nighttime visitor, he’s into it. — Disclaimer; tentacles pwp, monsters,

bookclub; review

“This is such an interesting twist on the tentacle genre! I loved jimin and Joon's dynamic, although definitely wrong...but in a universe with monster under the beds i don't think that matters. Jimin as a character was weirdly endearing, and you can't help yourself from feeling sorry for him and his loneliness, and relieved he found Joon. And well, Joon is leaving his best life, so props to him for sticking around. The writing was impeccable, will definitely be going through the authors fics in a near future” [anon]

“I'm a lil bit of a newbie with tentacle porn reading wise and def haven't tried it writing wise but THIS WAS THE SHIIITTTT I LOVED IT SO MUCH (and lowkey highkey brought out a small tentacle porn interest of mine i didn't know i had oop) just the way Namjoon loved it and wanted it I could feel it in my freaking bones and maybe even related to him a littejnerighs i mean it was JIMIN HOW COULD YOU NOT and i loved the sprinkles of fluff in there it really brought a nice relief from the hot, heavy and body tingling smut embedded into it gdfoegg this was so good, such a hot way to depict a monster under the bed concept and the author did it so well also really inspired to dive into this territory of storytelling cause i'm 0.0 intrGUED” [anon]

“So, so good. Many of your general tentacle fics tie so deeply with nonconsent or dubious consent at best. Which is entirely fine, but sometimes it’s so nice to see something refreshing and new, and this fits the bill. While still brimming with great imagery and really well written smut, it also injects a supply of sweet fluff and near domesticity to the situation. Rather than being the ‘boy gets taken against his will by sex crazed monster’ – the relationship is symbiotic, allowing a give and take; even if it is largely physical in nature. I think that sheds such a fun light on the tentacle monster trope. This is one of those fics that I would really enjoy seeing another chapter or two, additional shenanigans that the two get up to with or without smut. Further, I love the descriptors used in the fic, I feel like it painted a really lovely visual that helped the reader really dive into it.” [anon]

“This fic....whew! It is really something! I don't read tentacle stuff and I'm not a fan of bottom!Namjoon but I wanted to read something different for this month. It's a great balance of fluff and smut with how the ending turns out; it's not rape or non-con either, since Namjoon is a huge monster lover lol I can just imagine him with a whole collection of monster dildos. The writing is wonderful too. The way the author set up the beginning without giving things away until maybe halfway through is really well done. Like, you already know Namjoon's going to consent but (at least for me) not in a way you expected. Jimin being a cute, friendly monster who isn't afraid to show his devilish side too <3 I seriously reccomend this to people who like tentacle porn. Maybe even people who don't read it often like me” [anon]

“This was such a surprisingly sweet and fluffy tentacle fic. I love the author's description of Jimin’s duality; the mixture between his sweet pretty features and his black demon tentacles, really feels so believe haha. The ending was so lovely and really put a smile on my face!” [@tinysweetscrown]

INTO THE WOODS written by bugarungus

— Summary; Seokjin wakes up to find he’s been kidnapped by some nature nymphs and their pet. — Disclaimer; tentacle pwp, fae & farieis, dubious consent

bookclub; review

“Oh my, I was completely immersed in this beautiful little universe, the author created. Everything about this fic is so lovely and stunning - from the descriptions of Jin’s everyday life before he meets the nymphs to the actual smut. I loved the bickering between Jimin, Tae and Yoongi, because it truly felt like a “brotherly” relationship. Also the fact that they each were a different “type” of nymph, and especially Tae’s protectiveness of LeeAnn, was so interesting and funny to read. This fic really strikes a perfect balance between a dirty smutty plot with dubious consent without it being too vulgar and uncomfortable to read!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“Wowowowow. Honestly this fic blew me away. There was so much going on but it was all so clear and well written, just… Perfection. The descriptions were so clean and clear and visually stimulating, it was easy to picture exactly what was happening. This is something so hard to do sometimes, especially in smut with more than two people, and this one was four and a plant! I wanted to know more about the nymphs, and their plant – the backstory bet would be so fascinating and amazing. There was so much subtle romance between the nymphs, and even being dubious consent, I feel like that oozed into Jin as well – opening up the idea that the future isn’t going to be questionable. Kind of a happy ending even with a smidge of the darker/dubious consent that laced through it. I think also, the relationship between the nymphs was just really fun. Despite the alternate universe, the characters felt really true to the actual group members. Their personalities matched up great and I didn’t find myself wondering if x would actually say that, do that, etcetera. It’s amazing when you can keep things true to ‘life’ but put them into this awesome fantasy world. Just so, so well done.” [anon]

NICE THINGS written by @kimlinebiased

— Summary; Namjoon is clumsy, even with others’ hearts. — Disclaimer; smut

bookclub; review

“This was such a sweet and wholesome fic! I especially enjoyed Namjoon's letter to Yoongi. I felt like the description of how Namjoon and Yoongi are different really fit so well with at least how I see them irl! Also the call back in the end to "this is why we can't have nice things" tied the whole fic so nicely together and left me all warm and fuzzy :)" [@tinysweetscrown]

“Nice things is such a sweet story, even with the angst thrown into it, you can feel the love yoongi and namjoon have for each other. It make the angst hurt even more, and wraps things up in cute ending. The smut if soft and just right for the story, and you just find yourself rooting for the characters to make it work, and also to pls wrap namjoon in bubble wrap...”[anon]

“A blend of angst and smut, it's really well done. I don't read a lot of canon/idol stuff nor do I write it much, but I decided I'd give it a read. Considering it's Dean writing, I wasn't disappointed haha Namjoon and Yoongi have a really nice relationship and Yoongi's reluctance to get back with Namjoon makes sense given how Namjoon broke his heart. The smut at the end is A+ too.” [anon]

DEVILS HAND by @softjeon & @cassiavioletblue

— Summary; There had been rumors, but in the end it was not really a secret that Namjoon loved delicate and beautiful things. Especially when it came down to his lovers and his castle. It was decorated with lot of flowing, long blue curtains, colorful paintings in every room, rows of marble columns leading along every aisle. There was a large garden surrounding the palace, which was by far Jungkook’s favorite place to be – next to the king’s bedroom. — Disclaimer; alcohol, abusive relationships, abusive behavior, (sexual) violence, major character death

bookclub; review

“This fic….. ruined me… When I first started reading it, I was immediately intrigued, because I had no idea where the fic was going! I was so captivated by it, and I HAD TO finish it, but holy fuck I needed like a good day to digest it. The universe the authors created was absolutely beautiful and so well-described that I feel like I, days later, still have a clear image in my head of what the scenes look like - as if I’d seen a movie. The ending was absolutely devastating and painful and awful (but like in a good way) and im so conflicted about the whole thing…………” [@tinysweetscrown]

“alright so another masterpiece by the incredible duo! The dynamic in this story are amazingly complex and layered, the characters interesting and their motives are well thought out.. You can't help but have your stomach tied in a knot after the first chapter, anticipation making you nervous. There's this general feeling that shit will hit the fan and it won't be pretty... beautifully written, bravo!” [anon]

“How. Dare. You. Omg, I just reread this fic and ughhhh the ending breaks my heart every time! I've never hated Namjoon in a fic before. Even when I've made him an asshole, I didn't hate him. But here...he's just such a dick and Jungkook is such a sweetheart looking to please the man he loves. It's such a sad story because Jungkook is a rabbit surrounded by vipers (Taehyung being the only good one imo). I definitely rec it to anyone who wants a good angsty read. I do say mind the triggers though, since it's not for everyone. The writing is beautiful, sets a good pace, and gives detail without going overboard. Jey and Cat really get you inside the character's feelings while delivering really steamy smut scenes.” [anon]

“The Devil’s Hand was such a sad, dark story for all involved. I don’t often read major character death because it makes me so sad, but I think it was really fitting for this fic. There was no winning for JK, and the end really solidified that lesson of not knowing what you have until it’s gone. The relationship between Taehyung and Jungkook was one of my favorite parts of the entire fic. They had such a well-developed friendship and I think that Tae really embodied the person that JK deserved, in a weird way. Though they were only friends, he was loving and trusting and would do anything for JK, even at the risk of his own life. The contrast between how Tae treated him versus Namjoon, even versus Hoseok – it was so stark and telling in terms of the fic and the deeper meanings. I think overall the fic was heart wrenching and so, so sad, but such an excellent piece that really cuts the reader to the bone. “ [anon]

The Drabble-Game; MASTERLIST

— prompt; “Sometimes the darkness is too big to keep inside.”

Thank you to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for the next theme of the month to participate!

THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED written by @chimknj

— summary; Jimin was in the room when Hoseok walked in. Only one of them would get out of it alive.

EAT THE RICH (BECAUSE THEY’RE ROTUND AND DELICIOUS) written by @kimlinebiased

— summary; Jungkook had a mission. That mission may involve killing people and burying the bodies. It’s going great… Until the bodies go missing.

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

#bangtanxm #bookclub*#bts #bangtan #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #march highlight*

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stray-inu-writes · 4 years

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🦚). Hey hey! can I ask for a BSD or Demon slayer match up ? 🥺 I'm an 159cm omnisex asian girl. I'm chubby so I look smol. long black wavy hair and I always let it down. People say I look rude and cold so they are afraid to befriend me first (some even hates me for no reason), istg its only my resting bih face (but yes I can fight, verbally and physically.) I don't care about style or brand, I only wear comfortable clothes that looks good on me. I love perfume, so yes I smelled pretty good.🌻

(part 2) my personality, I'm an enfp, taurus and gryffindor. I love to talk, and yes I am loud (I can be sarcastic sometimes) 😅 Despite being a happy go around type of girl, I have a lot of insecurity. I hate myself and got depressed easily, but I'm good at hiding it behind my clownery haha. I love singing, playing games, sleeping and ghost/horror stuff (im easily scared tho). I'm shy to people that I found attractive and I'm a hopeless romantic. To sum it up I am pretty childish 😂 thank youuuu 🌻

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS I match you with Chuuya Nakahara ! First of all, this man would be thrilled to find someone who is shorter than him, even for a single centimeter. You would probably be in the mafia ( since you can fight) and we know Chuuya tries to know better his colleagues/subordinates, so he would probably give you an « Oi, oi, what’s with the face ? » but he wouldn’t actually mind. If you happen to banter with another member of the mafia, he would probably sit down and watch the scene unfold, very interested. Chuuya would quickly take a liking at you, actually the only thing he could blame you for would be the lack of interest in style, even though he recognizes the clothes you wear look good on you. But this is the mafia and you have to look the part, especially as his girlfriend : I can imagine him handing you a classy outfit he picked up for you, together with a fancy perfume if he wants to spoil you. If he realizes you’re feeling down, he would take you to a date to cheer you up and listen to your problems : he would notice if you are forcing yourself to act like a clown – Chuuya strikes me as someone pretty perceptive. You’re both very loud so he doesn’t mind it in the slightest. Overall you’re similar on a lot of points (and are both Tauruses, which means a lot of stubborness in your relationship). Chuuya would love to simply chill in front of a horror movies. He wouldn’t be that scared, but would definitely take you in his arms if the movie is too frightening. I also believe that Chuuya can be very romantic with his s/o, so that would be perfect ! He would do everything so you could be confident in yourself, and that includes him showing you how much he loves you. DEMON SLAYER I match you with Aoi Kanzaki ! She wouldn’t be intimidated by your resting bitch bitch face, rather the opposite : she would immediately put you to work ; « If you have time to rest you have time to work ». At the beginning, she wouldn’t be sure about your behavior but you would progressively warm up to each other. To be honest, your relationship you depend if you are a full-time resident at the Butterfly Mansion or a regular Slayer. If that’s the first case, you would probably be assigned to do chores together and would end up chatting. Otherwise, you would probably meet when you’re injured and she has to watch over you. Obviously, if you’re her patient, she would be hesitant to be in a relationship because of the medical distance, but Shinobu would probably give her benediction, because she would be tired of seeing you being shy with Aoi since the day you noticed you were attracted to her. Aoi is a very straightforward girl so once her decision taken, she would ask you on a date right off the bat. She definitely would find your sometimes childish behavior cute, combined to her height (but she works with Shinobu and knows that small people are dangerous). She would love to hear you sing and would feel safe around you. We learn in one of the light novels that Aoi has her own insecurities related to her unability to fight – Aoi consider herself like a coward and sometimes feels useless. To have a girlfriend would definitely help with her self-confidence, and she would help you in the process of loving yourself by showering you with compliments. If she wants to surprise you, she would give you a bottle of perfume that she has made by herself with the flowers of the area as a gift ! But if she wants to mess with you, expect her to tell you horror stories in the middle of the night… *** Hope you like it ! I know you asked for one or another fandom but I wanted to treat you and I did both ;) And maybe it’s not my place to tell you that, but don’t hate yourself, sweetie ! I’m sure that you have much more qualities than you think, you just have yet to discover or re-discover them ! People are a mixture of good and bad things, and the negative doesn’t cancel the positive :)

#matchup #lynne plays matchmaker #mental health is important guys #bungou stray dogs #demon slayer #aoi kanzaki #chuuya nakahara #no seriously everyone is amazing in their own way #and the few people who aren't usually are full of themselves so yeah y'all are safe

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pinkykitten · 5 years

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I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive?

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head.

2. Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby. 4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts?

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different.

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again.

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it.

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer.

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot.

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible.

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys.

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much.

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho.

3. What is the last song that inspired you?

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making.

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical.

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH

#ask #@writing-with-melon #rambles #writing #tips on writing #unus annus #david dobrik #netflix #buzzfeed unsolved #peaky blinders oc #kobe bryant #mac miller #tony stark #peter parker #the greatest showman #tom thumb #troy bolton #zac efron

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skyfallensoldier · 4 years

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Mobile Navigation || Rules & Mun ↓

DISCLAIMER: I just want to note here at the beginning that while I am considering this RP blog to be historically based, i.e. remaining true to the time period and overall details of John Laurens' biographical information and whatnot, I do not consider myself a historically accurate blog, not entirely. Historical fiction is a well known genre of literature and many, MANY creative liberties are taken within that genre. Think of this blog like you would if you saw an Anastasia Romanov blog. She's dead, we know she didn't survive, and she's been dead a long-ass time; so has Laurens. People still have included her in many works of fiction, even after her body was identified and it was proven she did not survive her family's massacre. I saw a romance book a couple of months ago where she survived that was recently published. Historical fiction, while a controversial thing at times, is a legitimate form of literature.

You don't have to tell me if you think John isn't acting exactly like the real man himself would have, I know that. I'm not going to call John my 'perfect sunshine boy cinnamon roll' or dismiss the privilege he was raised on due to his father, I'm aware he was a real person who had his own personality, virtues and prejudices. I won't deny that while he was certainly a progressive thinking man for the time he grew up in he definitely still had racist thoughts and actions that were indicative of his upbringing. But I'm not on here to debate modern, real life politics, or get into arguments about whether he was a good abolitionist or not. At the end of the day, this is still a hobby for me, and I'm writing for fun.

Basically, don't take it too seriously. I'm a 21st century bisexual woman writing from the POV of an 18th century (likely gay) male soldier, the way I write him is obviously not going to be a perfect representation of who he was. I know he wasn't an amazing, perfect person, but I've still chosen to write a fictionalized version of him for my own entertainment. Please try to respect that; thank you.

Mun Stuff

Name: Luna Gender: Female (She/Her or They/Them) D.o.B: July 23rd, 1996 Age: 24 Nationality: Canadian Sexuality: Bisexual Timezone: Eastern Time (US & Canada) Activity: Daily BIOGRAPHY (SORT OF)

Hello, there! You can call me Luna! I've been interested in writing ever since I first got the internet when I was 14 and discovered FanFiction.Net and now I'm an aspiring author and Roleplay enthusiast. If you include acting/talking out DnD like games with friends then I've been 'roleplaying' since the fifth grade, but I like to think there's always room for improvement. If you ever want to chat I'd love to make a new friend or plot out a roleplay, so don't be afraid to shoot me an ask or send me a private message. Just because my muse can be a jackass doesn't mean I am! I’m a huge advocate for mental health, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t ever hesitate to reach out! Some of my hobbies including literature and writing (of course), digging into mythology from various cultures, practicing solitary eclectic paganism/new age spirituality, drinking tea, and collecting crystals/minerals.

Please note that for the sake of disclosure, I am considered ‘Neurodivergent’, in that I suffer from ADHD, diagnosed at about age six, and have Anxiety and Depression which are directly tied to it. This doesn’t often effect my life on here, but I sometimes have an unpredictable sleep schedule (stay up all night, sleep in late into the morning, etc). I’m usually quick to reply to threads for the most part! I work every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm to 7pm in addition to odd jobs here and there, during which time I won’t have access to the Internet. The rest of the week I’m on and off all day basically, so you can feel free to contact me any time.

RP Style

⭐️ Please use basic spelling/grammar/punctuation when you RP with me. I'm not a drill sergeant about these kinds of things, I know that typos happen, and if you have a vision problem or such we can absolutely find a way to work around that, I also have no problem roleplaying with people whose first language is not English, so that's totally fine and I’m happy to accomodate in whatever way I can, but it does make it a little difficult to play with you if I don't know what you're trying to say. For this reason I prefer if you not use any text shorthand (lol, idk, brb, jk, etc) unless our muses are messaging each other. Using it in the tags is fine.

⭐️ I roleplay Laurens in a past-tense 3rd Person Point of View (think story-telling format), and generally I don't use icons or text formatting unless I notice my partner does, then I will try to match their style (for example if you use icons and small-text, I will try to do the same, though because formatting isn't possible on mobile, any mobile replies might take longer to be posted than if I were on my laptop). If you have any issues with how I'm writing or need me to adjust my style for any reason don't be afraid to ask.

Contact

⭐️ If you spam me with messages over and over again about something I haven't replied to, chances are I'll drop the thread. I don't mind being reminded because I know Tumblr's notifications are notoriously unreliable sometimes, and humans can forget/lose things, but if you keep poking at me after I've acknowledged you the first and second time, I won't be pleased. Things can get busy on here, or in real life, or sometimes you're just lacking muse for that particular thread, y'know? It doesn't mean I hate you and don't want to RP, I'm almost always up for plotting, but muse tends to fluctuate.

⭐️ My ‘Discord’ is available to mutuals upon request. I don't mind roleplaying on there if Tumblr is being glitchy or you're just not feeling up to formatted/heavily plotted threads, sometimes Discord is fun in that you can do immediate replies without needing the effort of putting icons and formatting into it. I also have a Kik but I never use it. I don't RP in Tumblr's IMs, that's purely for OOC interaction.

⭐️ I also occasionally stream movies/TV shows in group chats or play “in character” Cards Against Humanity game nights, Among Us, etc. If you’re interested, lemme know, I’m always looking for more people to hang out with!

Important

I have no actual triggers that I'm aware of, although snakes do creep me out (mostly shots of them coiled up or images of their pupils), but there are some things I will not roleplay personally for comfort reasons:

⭐️ Cannibalism. You can mention it, for example I won't freak out if someone tells my muse that somebody else ate a person (he might, assuming its not a Supernatural type verse), but I won't RP him engaging in cannibalism, not even in AUs (blood-drinking vampires are fine). I'm just not sure I could stomach writing about eating people. I managed to watch Hannibal, barely, but writing about it? Nah. I can handle lots of horror, gore and disturbing content but not this. Sorry.

⭐ Incest/Pedophilia. I do not SEXUALLY ship with characters under the age of 18. John is not attracted to children, and would never consider sleeping with someone much younger than him.

⭐ I will not write anything sexual with muns who are under 18 years old, even if your muse is an adult. I'll still ROLEPLAY with you if you are under 18 but probably no younger than 16 just because things tend to get explicit on my blogs and I don't want to be accused of corrupting the youth with my foul language and weird opinions, lol. Seriously though, this blog covers a lot of dark subjects and while I’m all for minors exploring that safely through writing rather than in real life, some people aren’t comfortable with interacting with under age people for legal or personal reasons, please respect that.

⭐ Necrophilia. Just... no. Vampire threads don't count, as they're undead and not 'dead dead'.

⭐ Rape. I won't write it with you. I'm okay with mentions of rape, with rape/sexual assault survivor/recovery plots, and even with one character intervening to rescue another from an attempted sexual assault (if an attempted assault does occur, it will be thoroughly tagged and under a cut). I'm fully open to discussing rape recovery/trauma plots as those are things that happen in real life, and it can be interesting to explore how a character reacts to trauma. But anything else is a no-go, sorry!

⭐ Please be aware that I write Laurens as a gay man. However! Because of the time period, violent homophobia and social stigma, he has slept with women before and may be seen flirting with or referencing relationships with women in the past. He is still gay, and still uninterested in being with women long term, he's simply closeted to all but a few individuals. So, unless your muse is Martha Manning (who Laurens DOES love in a manner, and he always will), shipping with female characters on here most likely isn't going to happen unless it's heavily plotted/developed and part of an overall plot, and you understand that it will not be a conventional sexual relationship. I'm sorry if that disappoints you but I've read Laurens as a gay male for so long I have trouble seeing him any other way.

⭐ I will not roleplay slavery plots. This is not up for debate. Roleplaying a highly fictionalized version of a long dead real person who existed during a troubling time is one thing, but I draw the line at that. For this reason, while I'll happily play with non-white muses, muses using non white faceclaims, and crossovers with characters of all sorts, I'll have to decline playing with any muse claiming to actually be writing slavery. There’s a difference between, say, roleplaying a character like Daenerys, a fictional character who was technically a slave-bride sold by her brother, and writing actual slavery from a very real, horrible time period. Slave ownership will of course be mentioned on this blog, that's unavoidable, but just like the mention of rape may happen on this blog from time to time, it will be in reference to a past event or speaking about the subject in general, not roleplaying a scene of it. Please respect this rule, I was hesitant to make this blog at first, because I know it makes some people uncomfortable, but I won't glorify such a horrible real thing that happened to so many people.

Exclusives/Mains

Just a head's up, unless I develop a bunch of chemistry with a particular portrayal of a muse I'm not likely to agree to being exclusives with anyone, unless perhaps it's a very niche or divergent character that has formed a good relationship of some sort with John and I'd have trouble interacting with other versions of that muse. For major characters I just feel it would be unfair to say no to someone who I click with in every other way, solely because I have already befriended someone else writing that character.

I will, however, discuss becoming mains with someone whom I've either developed or plotted out detailed storylines/interactions with regarding our specific portrayals of our characters. This means that I tend to reply to them quickly when I'm online, or may make little gifts (moodboards, aesthetic things, mini ficlets, whatever) for them unprompted, have a verse dedicated just to them, etc. Even if it seems like we haven't done much on Tumblr, there may be a lot of off-site development on Discord or whatnot that led to us plotting out intricate stories for our muses.

Current Mains:

Alexander Hamilton - @quillborn

⭐️ Send private messages.

⭐️ Send my character asks/starters/memes.

⭐️ Tag me in things.

⭐️ Ask to plot or ship.

⭐️ Ask for angst, fluff, etc.

⭐️ Submit things to me & my muse.

⭐️ Do crack and other ridiculous things with me!

⭐️ Like my RP threads.

⭐️ Like my personal posts.

⭐️ Comment on my personal/OOC posts (if you want to).

⭐️ Comment on my crack threads.

⭐️ Instant Message (IM) me if you'd like to talk, whether we're friends already or not!

DON'T

⭐️ Send hateful messages to me about other people and especially my mutuals; doesn't count if it's about the muse and not the person playing them, however. Also, if I’ve got beef with someone for whatever reason, don’t harass them/send hate to them on my behalf, please. I don’t condone anonymous abuse, attacking others, or harassment. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself, I promise.

⭐️ Introduce yourself with ‘wanna ship?’ For one, I prefer if we’ve at least started a roleplay together, or have spoken OOC. Auto shipping doesn’t always work out and I hate promising people something only to realize there’s zero chemistry, because then I feel like I’m letting them down.

⭐️ Come into my inbox with just ‘wanna rp?’ and that’s it. Please at least have some idea of what you want to roleplay, it’s not very fun when someone approaches you to RP but then doesn’t offer up any suggestions at all. Remember, you are always free to send me memes, whether we’re mutuals or not, and hit me up for whatever plot you think might interest me! I want to hear about it!

⭐️ Spam me with "reminder" messages if I've already acknowledged you the first few times.

⭐️ Reblog my RP threads if you're not a participant in them.

⭐️ Send me anonymous OOC hate. Hate for Laurens is fine, it's just another form of roleplay.

⭐️ Kill off my character or severely injure/maim my character without permission or having plotted something involving that with me first.

⭐️ Follow me if you're a porn blog. I don't mind blogs that post NSFW content, or smut a lot, etc. I mean blogs that aren't for RP and are literally just a normal looking blog until you click on it and the header and first twenty posts are hardcore nudity and porn. I hate those things.

⭐️ Shame my ships.

⭐️ Complain about my tagging. I put my smut under a 'read more' without exception and tag them as "NSFW //" with two dashes. Things that are not necessarily graphic but still have sexual undertones go under "Suggestive //". I use these tags to avoid attracting attention from porn blogs and porn bots that track certain key words, as such I do not tag my content with "Smut" or trigger words such as "dick, oral, anal, nudity, etc", please block my NSFW and Suggestive tags if you're uncomfortable. Triggery subjects (mentions of rape, animal abuse, torture, mental illness) will be tagged under the name of said trigger with a space and two dashes, example: "Self Harm //", “Suicidal Ideation //” or "PTSD //".

⭐️ Godmod my character. If you’re not sure what is/isn’t okay, come talk to me! I don’t bite! If you’re looking for an example of god mod behavior, here: “X lunged at Laurens, taking him by surprise, and hit him square in the nose, causing blood to spurt.” It might not seem like a big deal but it means that you decided how your character’s actions affected my muse, and not only that, didn’t give him a chance to dodge or anything. Not cool.

⭐️ Ship with me without permission (sending in shippy asks is A-Ok if you're interested in exploring a ship between our muses, I'm talking about things like claiming that our muses are in a relationship without discussing it with me, referencing dates or sexual acts that never happened, etc. I ship mainly with chemistry otherwise things get boring fast.

⭐️ Assume/act like our characters know each other/are closely connected (friends/family/lovers) if we've never discussed it unless it is established in canon/history. This especially goes for original characters. I'm open to Laurens forming deep relationships with OCs obviously, but those have to be developed in character, not just assumed from the first interaction.

⭐️ Attempt to roleplay with me if you are not a roleplay blog/or if you're just trying to RP as "yourself." I don't do Character X Reader imagines stuff. I don't RP with 'fan' accounts, only RP blogs. You can still send asks so long as you're not trying to initiate an RP scenario. For example, asking Laurens what his hobbies are, asking for a blessing etc? That's fine. Spamming me with different actions "you" are talking to Laurens is weird. Stop that. I will also not RP with blogs that claim to roleplay as real life people, such as Markiplier, that's super creepy. This does NOT apply to "historical fiction" roleplay (obviously since that's what this blog is), which is considered its own genre of literature. I'm talking about the above where people will 'roleplay' as real life, currently alive people like YouTube celebrities and ship them with their friends, even if they've made it clear that they're uncomfortable with it.

⭐️ Get angry at me for doing something you don't like if you don't even have a rules page for me to go by. It's not fair; you can't expect your partners to just read your mind and magically know how you feel. If something bothers you let me know, I’ll make a note about it so I avoid it during our interactions!

⭐️ Use me as a meme resource blog without ever interacting with me. I don't require "reblog karma" for you to follow me, partners are more than welcome to reblog from me, but if we never interact and I just occasionally see you reblog fifteen posts from my meme tag and then disappear again I'm not gonna be happy. Go to the source or to an archived blog no longer getting notifications, please!

⭐️ Reblog my Meta/Headcanons. If they're from a different blog it's fine but the ones I've personally written are for MY portrayal of Laurens. I work hard on most of my stuff and I'd prefer if you didn't reblog it, not because you aren't allowed to have the same headcanon ideas as me, but because then it ends up getting liked or reblogged by lots of other people, spamming my notifications, etc.

OCs & Multimuses

I love OCs and multi-muse blogs (I have my own multimuse sideblog over at @historyremembers, which has other 18th century characters including the Hamilton children and some OCs), so feel free to interact! That being said, please have an about page of some sort on your blog. I can't follow back blogs that have absolutely no information available regarding their character(s). I don't RP with OC children of Laurens. This is nothing personal, but I'm fairly certain he was gay in real life and prefer to play him that way, and he only had one child - who he never even got to meet - in real life, so it just wouldn't make sense to me for him to have other kids running around unless he'd adopted some. If you're a multimuse, I may not follow you back if I'm only familiar with two of your muses if you have a blog of fifteen characters, simply because I'd prefer to keep my dash clean and only have characters/fandoms I'm familiar with on it. I'll still RP with you if you have a character I'm interested in! I just might not follow back if the majority of your characters I do not know, I apologize for this.

If you’ve made it to the end of this, congrats! I know it couldn’t be easy (my ADHD brain was frustrated trying to just write all this up) but it’s necessary so there’s not misunderstandings on what I am/am not willing to RP. I won’t ask for a password since I trust most people to have the courtesy to at least skim the rules of those they want to RP with.

Have a nice day!

#Everybody Listen Up! {PSA}#Out Of The Field {OOC}#Long Post //

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panlyv · 4 years

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Uh I read somewhere on one of your blogs that you have a tattoo? Does it represent anything? If it’s too personal then just ignore this question

hi! hello anon!!! thank you so much for your question!!

i don't mind talking about this at all (in fact, when the matter is my tattoo i could rant about it for hours!!) but i'll try to keep this as short and not-too-personal as i can lmao (but i might mention trauma and self harm so beware!)

well, this is my tattoo. it is a literal banana fish!! it is on the back of my neck and i got it done on september 9th 2019 as a late birthday present to myself.

it's one of akimi yoshida's (banana fish's author) original drawings for a postal card and i chose it because i love her style and because i wanted something that really screamed banana fish

now why banana fish? you may ask. the meaning behind the tattoo and me choosing something so blatant to represent it is this:

i've been having a pretty hard time since 2013. that's when my whole trauma started and it lasted until 2016, when i finally moved out of my biological mother's house and came to live with my dad and my mom. but as we all know, trauma doesn't leave you alone the moment you break out of it. and i didn't completly break out of it when i came to live with my dad because my biological mother was still present in my life and still maintained the toxic dynamics that made me so sick (in fact it wasn't until this year that i finally stood up for myself and cut all my relationship with her once and for all. for the sake of my mental health. but that's another story!). but even with her still being a part of my life at that time, i was able to get a lot better and begin recovering from what happened with my parents' help. i still have a long way to go before it all stops affecting me so much but whenever i look back at the progress ive made during these five years im very happy and proud of myself and my family for always sticking together and helping each other out no matter how hard things are.

in december 2018 my little sister came into our lives and it was hands down the happiest moment in my life, she is my number one source of happiness and comfort and i love her way much more than words could tell. however, my mom's pregnancy wasn't easy and her health suffered a lot, so when she gave birth to my sister, she needed tons of help and that's when my life turned upside-down. my grandma moved in with us temporarily, i had to move my room to the back of the house and everything was about my sister. of course it would be, she was a helpless little miracle in our lives and she needed our attention. but even knowing that, i couldn't help but feel lonely and a lot of memories related to my trauma resurfaced during that time.

ok, yeah, sure dawn, but what the fuck does this have to do with banana fish? well, it has to do with that fact that it was precisely during this difficult time that i was watching banana fish. i began watching it around september 2018 i guess, and it aired until dec 21st 2018. so while this mess was happening in my life, i was watching banana fish every single week while also reading the manga. because when i feel extremely overwhelmed by things in my everyday life, i tend to find a safe heaven consuming series, animes, music, whatever. and that's what i did with banana fish. i held on to it so tightly during that time that i grew to have this deep deep DEEP emotional attachment to the anime/manga, its characters and the story itself.

banana fish's plot is fantastic but also very depressing, because it's real, it's a painful reality we all know exist but try not to and banana fish makes us see it uncensored, makes us see the worst of humans and how unfair the world is without any filter. it was really an experience for me, especially reading the manga, to see this ugly world and all the hardships people go through in such a raw way. and i just fell in love with it. i fell so hard for banana fish and it shaked me up so much that to this day i still tear up seeing anything bf related and in my everyday life i have tons of banana fish related things happening, my tattoo being one of them. (and also my name! yeah, dawn is inspired by banana fish, because aslan (ash's real name) is said to be a word used in prayer that means daybreak which means dawn :D)

oof, ok. sorry. to finish this: i chose the drawing because banana fish is that important in my life. when i say it's life changing, i mean it. when i say banana fish taught me valuable lessons and it made me into a new person, i swear to you im not exaggerating. this tattoo represents me. represents the strength i had to have gone that far. it represents a new chapter of my life that had began harshly to me but that i overcame. represents a bit of shorter, eiji, aslan, sing, yue lung and every other banana fish character that i hold dearly in my heart and who were all as strong as i was i able to be during that time. i think, even with banana fish being the fish of death and the famous "when you encounter a banana fish, you will feel like dying" thing, it doesn't mean im sad, or that i want to kill myself, but that i want to kill that part of me that doesn't let me go on, that weak and scared part of me that isn't me anymore and now i can let go of it. it's in a way a rebirth of me? i guess? u could put it that way.

OK ANON I THINK THAT'S IT! sorry for the big ass rant and for getting a lil bit Too Personal anyways lmao i hope this entertains u a bit!!! and thanks again for the interest and for playing with me!

#pls ignore any typos i did Not proofread lmao #IM ALSO SORRY FOR ANSWERING ONLY NOW #i was so sleepy yday i couldn't think str8 #BUT I DIDNT IGNORE U PLS DONT THINK THAT!!!!!!#dawn.odt #very personal stuff #random asks #anon #long post

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ayoalex · 5 years

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Has anyone write about how since the beginning J.K Rowling put Harry, Ron and Hermione as equals but with progression of the books all that got lost until the last one?

If they have please give me the link i would love to read it, if it they haven't then I'm gonna explain you this.

Our favourite trio started as first years in Hogwarts not really knowing how all of this work, we meet Harry, a halfblood that recently discovered he is a wizard, and important one. Later we met Ron, a pureblood wizard with 5 older brothers and a little sister, he comes from an old lineage but people see his family bad because of his dad liking of Muggles. And then we met Hermione, a muggle born from; for what we can see; a kinda wealthy family, her parent being two muggle doctors.

Now you gonna point out "they are not equals, look at the status" and you are right but even with all that they started with nothing and with the progession of the story they all share the same experiences aka finding Fluffy, the Troll and the entire Philosopher stone plot. What makes them equal is their experiences in Hogwarts, with Voldemort and all of that.

In second year this is broken because meanwhile Hermione figured the whole "There is a basilisk at the school and Tom Riddle is the one opening the chamber of secrets by the helping of another student and his diary" she still gets petrified and is Ron and Harry that end up going to the chambers. Then in third year they all figure the whole Sirius issue but again one of them is left behind meanwhile the other two do the action.

In fourth year is Harry turn to face Voldemort alone and that result in him being curcio and seeing Cedric death. Hermione and Ron can't relate no more and there is a break in their bridge. They stop being equals.

Now is at the end of fifth year that both Hermione and Ron experience a close death situation. It's really interesting how the youngest in the group don't get that many bruises and share of curses. Neville got a broken nose, Ginny a broken ankle and Luna got stupefy, Harry don't get that big of a wound but end up seeing Sirius death and Voldemort tries to control him.

Now, Hermione get hits with an unknown curse that later Harry gets it with and it seems really awful. She gets knocked out and Neville almost couldn't feel her pulse, and we know is bad because later we found out Hermione needs to drink 10 different potions and she can't breath that well.

Ron gets hex with something that makes him rather happy and high (?) And because of that he grab one of the brains and this starts hurting him really badly. We figure out is bad because not only it leaves scars but he stay the same amount of time as Hermione in the Hospital wing. Both of them stay the same amount of time, Ginny, Luna and Neville already left at this point, so we can assume that Ron and Hermione got the worst of the experience.

The thing here is, they finally experience a "we almost died" thing like Harry did in 4th year but the bridge is too big now, Harry not almost died, he got tortured and have seen two people die in front of him.

In sixth year this bridge do not change in fact it gets bigger. Harry again experience something that neither the other do and see other person die again.

But then the seven book happens and here this bridge start getting smaller. They fight side by side but then Harry and Ron have a fight (like in 4th year) and the latter leave. Ron has his fair of shenanigans, hiding, try to get away of snatchers and finally ending up in Bill and Fleur house. In all this time Harry and Hermione end up alone doing their stuff just like in third year but all of this is quickly change with Ron coming back because now is all second year, where Ron and Harry had to do something to save Hermione because now she is being tortured by Bellatrix. (The parallels wow *chef kiss*).

And i want y'all to know that fifth year repeat itself in the beginning when Voldemort killed Moody because the three of them had to fight death eather again and separate but Harry and Hermione are the one seeing Voldemort flying meanwhile Ron need to think in a strategy to help Tonks (if you don't see the parallel then i would tell you, H&H got to see the centaurs dragging Umbridge down and they are even covered in blood by the end of it because of Gawp, Hagrid brother; Ron meanwhile has to do something quick to neutralise the Inquisitor squad so he can go where H&H are).

And now we get to the Battle of Hogwarts where they are finally equal again. This doesn't break because the three of them have finish a Horcrux and fight someone more powerfull than them, and finally they all see they same deaths. Colin, Fred, etc. Hermione fights Bellatrix, Ron fights Fenrir and finally Harry fight Voldemort.

No matter their status they end up as equal because no one could ever understand what they have been through.

Not Ginny, no Neville, no Luna, etc.

Ginny got the diary stuff and that help her understand Harry at one point, Neville is basically almost orphan as well as Harry and finally you have Luna that saw her mom dying as well as Harry did.

But, is Ron and Hermione that understand what he being through because they always been there and have experience similar things. So why do fics writers forget that?

Why do you make Harry moving with Ginny so fast when they need to heal. The trio need to heal together because they only trust each other.

I can see them, weeks after everything sitting in a sofa together looking at the ceiling not knowing how to fell, what to do, etc. Ginny wouldn't know what to do to help them, she would be so lost. Neville and Luna there trying to help her but she wants to help them too, she can see them but she doesn't know how.

I can see Molly broken because she lost one son and she is slowly losing others too. She can see how they are, like they can't believe it.

Fleur would be the one helping Hermione, she already took care of her in Shell Cottage so she knows how the girl operate, and it isn't until they are alone that Hermione finally break down.

Hermione always put a façade to her boys, always. I can see her being vulnerable with Fleur.

It's in Fred funeral that Ron finally breaks down and Harry turns it's when he see Teddy.

Ronmione wouldn't happen after a while, Harry would struggle to maintain a stable relationship. These kids went through hell, please deal with all that first before putting them in healthy relationship. As someone that is really depressed i just couldn't be in a relationship right now, im not emotionally neither mentally stable for that. The three of them would be so fucked up to be in a relationship. You can do whatever you want in your fics but we need to deal with them better. They are too fucked up to be fine after a week.

Anyway, stan the golden trio for clear skin 🤪

#hermione granger #harry potter #ron weasley #ginny weasley #luna lovegood #neville longbottom #fleur delacour #molly weasley #golden trio #the golden trio

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christinesficrecs · 5 years

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Lost Sterek Fics

So many lost fics! Please comment/message me if you can help. :)

***

- I’m pretty sure it’s kind of long but I could be mistaken, stiles and Derek have children and at some point their son becomes an alpha and the near the end of the book Derek and his son turn into these giant wolves and fight off a creature that I can’t remember and stiles is really upset about it cause they might never be able to turn back.

- it’s of sheriff spanking stiles and derek is in stiles room listening. stiles goes back in his room and they have sex!!

- Derek was confused by the other bitten werewolves saying things like "the wolf wants" or "the wolf part of me" because he always have been one since he was born a werewolf and never divided himself like that?

- Derek is drunk & thinks that his feelings are unreciprocated& stiles takes him back & tells him that they are not so Derek lines up his fingers with Stiles & counts them to 10,so basically he's saying that he is not dreaming& the feels behind that one!!!

- Derek is famous and powerful & he and Stiles start a relationship. What I remember is one scene in particular where they are being interviewed and they get some judgement because Derek and Stiles are versatile and werewolves consider an Alpha as a bottom a sign of weakness. I remember Stiles & Derek basically rolling their eyes at each other about the stupidity of that while being interviewed.

- Sterek are in love, but so are their kids. So they never get married, (because they don’t want to hinder their kids love) but their kids end up married at the end. (might be a series)

- Werewolves growls all have different meanings. Some generic ones everyone can understand. But some growls you have to know the wolf really well to know what that growl means. Derek has this growl that Stiles doesn't know the meaning of.

- Derek and Stiles are fighting and Stiles says something like "we don't trust ech other" and Derek brings what happened at the pool ans say something like "that doesn't mean nothing to me"

- Stiles is writhing the story of his life with Derek and at the end he write it as if Derek have died in fire and his last words with Derek is something like if I die I lose you and that scare the sh*t out of me or something then he stop writing because his husband -SHOCERK- enters the room and it is Derek

- Stiles and friends cheat at lacrosse to make their families happy. Because they were fired from Hale Company. And Derek and stiles are in a secret relationship?

- Stiles, and the others, end up befriending Erica while Peter is still going around killing people as an alpha. I only remember that Stiles and Erica, with some of the others, were at like a diner? And Peter attacks, and bites, Erica when they leave.

- i’m pretty sure it was a human au that was set in New Orleans. One of them, Stiles or Derek, worked at call center and the other worked at a diner. I think Scott was Stiles’ roommate." & "update i remember that Derek was a 911 call operator and Stiles was the one working as a server at the diner."

- Stiles is magic and when they were lilttleish kids makes Scott’s father go away, possibly forever.

stiles’ mother/grandma always made him a special soup, and he never knew what the secret ingredient was until Derek made it for him the same way, when he realised it was love.

- Stiles and derek are running away together to fight monsters. At some point there was a troll closing up on them and they hid on top of a tree and stiles got loopy?

- Derek and Issac are cops who follows who stiles is an agent gone rogue. I think stiles kills the bad guys in frond of them and saves Derek's life.

- Stiles and Isaac alone in a house and they hear a suspicious noise so Stiles is like we should call Derek but the suspicious noise actually ended up being Derek and he’s proud of them for thinking to call him?

- it's either a season1 or 2 au where stiles and derek enter an arrangement where they sex it up in exchange for derek to try to teach scott werewolfy stuff. i remember at one point danny and stiles talk abt the arrangement and danny later chews derek out abt being more gentle.

- I vaguely recall a season 1 canon divergence where Allison tells the sheriff that Kate has Derek chained up under the Hale house

- Stiles and derek are mates and Stiles goes out of town for a while and derek goes into his wolf form and sort of becomes a bit feral but then stiles comes back and helps him

- derek and stiles are at some sort of searching ceremony esque interview and derek unconsciously flashes his eyes at stiles. Peter explains later in the fic that derek was trying to pique stiles' interest (unknowingly).

- Stiles is patient/test subject on somenkind of shady facility where they do experiments on humans and I think he's been there most of his life. Derek is a new doctor in there and is the first one who is kind to stiles.

- Derek only asked stiles out to annoy Scott, but actually fell for him, stiles over hears Derek and Issac talking about it and I think he leaves for college, I remember near the end that the wolfs did something to his jeep so stiles had not choice to stay at the house to talk to Derek because Derek made a huge mistake and wants stiles back.

- to help defeat the alpha pack Stiles and Allison go to Derek. Derek says he can only do it if they join his pack. Derek proceeds to have sex with Stiles, while Allison has sex with Issac and Boyd. Scott gets pissed, and Allison has Boyd’s babies. I think it’s a series, 3 short fics.

- I'm looking for a fic that has Stiles at a party. I believe he is used as werewolf bait or turns out to be alluring to werewolves and didnt know it.

- I think Derek and Stiles are in a basement under the Halehouse, and because of some kind of moon Derek wants Scott to be in that basement. They make fun of Scott but he hear them and he lock the door when Derek and Stiles are inside. Smut happens

- Stiles being a spark and just learning how to use his powers, Peter Hale is helping him learn when he discovers that every time that Stiles uses his powers he gets aroused and Derek helps him out through it,

- Stiles and Derek are in the woods, and some type of creature makes both of them hallucinate. Derek then attacks Stiles thinking that Stiles is a monster. It was like a horror or psychological horror.

- everyone has a secondary gender (omega, beta, alpha) but there are werewolves as well. Derek is Alpha-alpha, and Stiles is human Omega while Scott turns into Beta-beta. It followed along the first season of Teen Wolf and instead of Derek manhandling Stiles in the show, he grabs his hand and squeezes it. (1/2)(cont) It progresses until Stiles, Lydia and Allison are shopping for formal wear for the dance and Stiles starts to get his heat when Peter shows up and takes them hostage. The end chapter has Derek helping Stiles through his heat as he looks up at the moon with red eyes.

- im looking for this accidental mating fic where scott and stiles are at dereks and stiles accidently mates with derek after he tries to run etc?

- stiles was helping derek with school I think and they got along and one night - stiles had a nightmare I think and was having a panic attack and called derek but didn't tell him about the nightmare and talked about something else and stiles got calmed by derek voice ..

- derek is an alpha and like everyday people try to fight him in order to get his powers? i think they’re all in high school and that stiles is the new kid?

- it’s where derek was at a clinic, and stiles was the one to ‘examine’ him — with sex toys, etc., — on the last chapter, it was established that they were already together and roleplaying. they were in the clinic that scott works at which stiles had gotten the keys to.

- It has two parts. The first involves someone poisoning the wolves so that they'll shift/go crazy. Stiles is in high school and he and Derek drink wine?? The second, the pack goes to college, and Derek breaks up with stiles to protect him. Stiles starts taking pain killers and gets depressed, the Alpha pack shows up, and Peter ends up being evil and trying to kill everyone??

- Stiles kinda is hurting when he has his first time with Derek?

- stiles Accidental Voyeurism on Derek showering and he is nervous because he is nervous to talk to him because he’s just that hot!

- stiles is adopted by the hales I think and Derek figures out he's his mate, I think there's growing up time skips, but the ending is Derek rushing home from college because the Argents are there to start the fire, stiles stays back with Talia to help defend their home.

- it’s girl!stiles and it’s where she has hairy legs and arm pits and just owns herself and she goes on a camping trip with Derek and they’re both naked because they don’t really care for nudity,

- I'm looking for a fic that had Stiles continuously flirting with other people to make Derek jealous after he realizes how good the sex is.

- There is a similar new fic called ‘User Error’ (first chapter looks great), it’s the troupe where Stiles is the brains behind the business and his partner (Scott?) tries to push him out/limit his input, Stiles is hurt but agreed to leave, but not before pulling out receipts of patents and just totally owning the situation, leaving but pretty much taking the rights to everything with him epically schooling those around him.

- stiles goes back in time to before the hale fire and tries to stop it, (fire is on night of a school dance) but he could only save Cora? I think he went be the name Cris or something similar

- Stiles had a boyfriend but he loved Derek and he thought Derek didn't loved him back so he would hide all his emotions from the pack, cause he was in so much pain. And they would fight a lot. I don't know if he was a spark or no.

- stiles and derek hate each other and When they lost their friends they were stuck together to search for them..

- Derek is in heat at the hale house and told everyone to stay away, but stiles didn’t and so Derek kisses him and makes stiles go into a pseudo heat and then they ride it out together.

- stiles finds out that derek has never actually gotten a good blow job bc his peen is that Big™ and he decides to rectify that, and i think stiles find out bc derek never lets him give him one im not sure

- It's an AU where the pack are all friends who are into surfing and are going down the coast (in mexico) finding small beaches and Sterek hooks up but then they get all awkward and depressed until Derek apologizes and clears things up. I remember it had some bi Erica and beach sex.

- I'm looking for a fic where Stiles has trouble accepting compliments from Derek and he buys himself a second-hand leather jacket to feel like part of the pack and Derek compliments it which Stiles thinks is sarcastic because obviously the jacket is old and damaged so basically he thinks everyone pities his loserness. low self-esteem drama ensues.

- I’m looking for a fic where Scott pushes stiles away for his own safety and then stiles befriends Boyd and one day Scott after a fight with some monster? Or big bad of the week? Scott tries to call stiles and his number has changed. Then it’s scott showing up at his house and basically trying to befriend stiles again..I think I remember something about Scott and stiles having plans to blow up stiles piece of crap phone

- a derek hale one shot. the plot is that the reader has a crush on scott and derek decideds to help her forget. i think the fic was called 'make you forget'

#sterek #ficrecs #lost fic

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yeeetandayeee · 5 years

Text

01/01/2020 - 01/12/2020

HEYA!

So i read a lot of fanfic. like. a lot. of fanfic. its well written, awesome characters, amazing authors and artists, is something i can easily keep with me when I am on the go bc i can leave it open on my cell’s internet app, and its fun. fun to read, fun to connect w the creators, fun to experience characters in other ways. so what imma do on sundays - maybe weekly, maybe more spread out - is post links for all the fics i’ve read in that period. this is the first one. settle in for a crap ton of epically written works to which I claim absolutely no credit, i’m just a reader of these great works! Again, no credit to me, all credit to the amazing authors of these works!

I want my Dad! (5369 words) by Stormborn_88 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Original Characters, Ned Leeds Additional Tags: dad tony, son peter, Protective Tony Stark, peter whump, Hurt Peter, One Shot, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Worried Tony Stark, Father-Son Relationship, Parent Tony Stark, Dad!Tony, Angry Tony Stark, Hurt Peter Parker, Police, Police Brutality, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary:

Being the son of Tony Stark has its pros and its cons. But Peter didn't expect such ill-treatment from a police officer, just because of his last name.

Words Echo (Through My Head) (6450 words) by Buckets_Of_Stars Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Spider-Man - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Happy Hogan Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner Additional Tags: Prompt Fill, dad tony, son peter, Hurt Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Worried Tony Stark, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, not team Cap friendly, Steve Rogers is an ass, Doctor Bruce Banner - Freeform, BAMF Tony Stark, trigger warning for guns, trigger warning for blood, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I suck at tagging, Oops, Precious Peter Parker, Out of Character, Oneshot, Complete, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Peter Is Out Of Charater, Don't Like Don't Read, Trigger warning for anxiety, Peter Stark - Freeform, Mama Bear Tony Stark, STEVE IS OUT OF CHARACTER, TONY IS OUT OF CHARACTER, PETER IS OUT OF CHARACTER Summary:

A quick stop at the Avengers Compound quickly becomes something much more when Peter and Tony meet up with Steve Rogers.

And he is not happy.

Hold on (2810 words) by wolfypuppypiles Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark Additional Tags: Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Sad, Angst, Blood, Hurt Peter, Worried Tony, Crying, Near Death Experiences, Protective Tony Stark, Goodbyes, im so sorry, but it ends well, Happy Ending, Emotions, Suspense, idk what else to tag Summary:

Peter had just wanted some snacks. Just a trip to the store to get some food for a hungry teenager. But when someone needs help, Spider-Man can't walk away, even if it means putting himself in danger.

Not quite the backseat (3079 words) by Webtrinsic Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan, Helen Cho Additional Tags: Father-Son Relationship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Hurt Peter Parker, Precious Peter Parker, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Revelations, Shooting, Claustrophobia, Protective Tony Stark, Stitches, Guilt, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Minor Original Character(s) Series: Part 1 of Tight Chest & Tight Spaces Summary:

Tony really had no other choice than to push Peter into the trunk through the backseat so they wouldn't find the kid. He hadn't known about the boy's claustrophobia, but you find out something new everyday. Recommend the whole series

The Merits of Mid-Range Weaponry (4364 words) by Rob_the_Chemist Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Peter Parker Additional Tags: Hurt Peter, Hurt Peter Parker, Team Dynamics, Communication Issues, Hiding Injury, Warning: Language, Warning: Graphic depiction of injury, Clint Cares about Peter, Everyone cares about Peter, Hand-to-Hand Combat Doesn't Fix Everything, Why Can't Peter do Weapon, peter whump, Peter-centric Summary:

This is just Peter’s sort of luck: getting speared straight through but somehow remaining mostly whole. It’s the kind of irony that he would find amusing if it didn’t apply so often to him

Rated for language and graphic description of injury. Basically just shameless Peter whump.

Fitting In (Tiny Spaces) (3422 words) by aloneintherain Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Avengers Team Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner Additional Tags: hurt!Peter, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Peter is an Avenger, Sam Is An Avenger, Protective Avengers, Whump, Team Dynamics, team fic, Panic Attacks, Guilt Summary:

Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.

“Spidey, they’ve got reinforcements. We’ve hit a bit of a snag here, and I don’t think anyone will be able to help you for a while. Think you can sit tight while we deal with this?”

The pressure on his lower back and legs was becoming too much. Peter swallowed thickly, fighting down panic. He could handle this.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “I can do that.”

One More Vow (742 words) by notjustmom Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Iron Man (Movies), Doctor Strange (2016), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Peter Parker & Tony Stark & Stephen Strange Characters: Tony Stark, Stephen Strange, Peter Parker Additional Tags: Established Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, spiderson, Post-Battle, Alternate Universe, Peter is Tony's Biological Son, Angst, Fluff Series: Part 54 of Ironstrange, Part 12 of Tumblr fics 2018-19, Part 1 of One More Vow Summary:

This is a new Ironstrange and Spiderson universe that will have backstory soon. This story deals with the aftermath of a battle where Peter saves Stephen - to make matters worse, he will be heading to college soon, and the boys are dealing with, or not dealing with a soon to be empty nest...

A gift for babywarg, who requested Ironstrange and Spiderson.Part of a series, all are recommended!

Publicity Parent (36966 words) by Bowtiez Chapters: 12/12 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Tony Stark & Stark Robots, Tony Stark & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Avengers Team Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Friday (Marvel) Additional Tags: Kid Fic, Kid Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Hurt/Comfort, Orphan Peter Parker, Foster Care, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Parent Tony Stark, Fluff, Precious Peter Parker, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Cute, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Publicity Stunt (at first), Swearing, Tony Stark learning to be a dad, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Caring Tony Stark, Clingy Peter Parker, cute kid, Whump, Peter Parker Whump, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Tony Stark Whump Series: Part 1 of Learning to Parent Summary:

Tony's losing his credit with the public. Pepper's got a plan to fix it.

Enter Peter Parker, eight-year-old orphan from Queens, New York.

Tony has no idea how children work, so why is he so drawn to little Peter Parker?

(More Tags to be added as the book progresses) The sequel is amazing too!

Unexpected Finds (50491 words) by snarkymuch Chapters: 22/22 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Tony Stark, Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Hurt Peter, Hurt Peter Parker, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Parent Tony Stark, Homeless Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Self-Harm, Tony is trying but it's hard, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Depression, Depressed Peter Parker, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Identity Reveal, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Tony Needs a Hug, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, some gorey descriptions, Awesome Pepper Potts, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Will never probably be compliant with much, I do what I want Series: Part 1 of Lost and Found Summary:

With May gone, Peter is an orphan and sent to foster care. He doesn’t stay long, the abuse he receives there becoming too much.

Despite being homeless, he still puts on the suit, Spider-Man getting him through when being Peter Parker couldn’t. It’s a chance encounter that brings Tony and Peter together.

Doing the right thing seems easy, but in reality, it’s far from it. Tony is going to make mistakes and so is Peter, but maybe, in the end, they’ll be alright. Recommend the whole series!

***Story edited and sections rewritten as of 9/23/2019***

The Missing 92 Days (78234 words) by YellowDistress Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, May Parker Additional Tags: Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Psychological Torture, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Protective Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Hydra Peter Parker, Sort Of Summary:

Peter wakes, ripping through the surface of the bath water, surrounded by the bodies of Hydra Agents.

Their blood is on his hands.

There's Always Room for Doubt- I Mean, Dessert (2885 words) by mttraspberrypie Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, May Parker (Spider-Man) Additional Tags: Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Precious Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug Series: Part 1 of Tales of a Sweet Spider-Son and His Embarrassing Irondad Summary:

Peter Parker goes out to dinner with his totally-not-dad Tony Stark. It's too bad he's an anxiety ridden mess. Recommend the whole series.

The Wolf Spider (50766 words) by PeterNeedsAHugParker Chapters: 36/36 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Loki & Peter Parker, Cassie Lang & Peter Parker Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Hulk (Marvel), Vision (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Wanda Maximoff, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Scott Lang, Hope Van Dyne, Nick Fury, Avengers Team (MCU), T'Challa (Marvel), Shuri (Marvel), Baron Zemo, Loki (Marvel), Cassie Lang, Harry Osborn, Gwen Stacy Additional Tags: Precious Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Hurt Peter Parker, Teen Peter Parker, BAMF Peter Parker, BAMF Wanda Maximoff, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Avengers Family, Peter Parker Acts Like a Spider, Hydra (Marvel), Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, My First AO3 Post, Hydra!Peter, spider son, spider mom - Freeform Summary:

Peter Parker was never raised with his Aunt May or Uncle Ben. He was raised by HYDRA to be a weapon just like, or even better then, the Winter Soldier. After ten years, Peter has lost all hope that he will ever make it out of HYDRA's clutches. Until the Avengers are unknowingly sent to retrieve Peter. Maybe they can help Peter understand that he can be more then some weapon.

AU where the team actually talked out their problems, like an actual team would.

like the sun (3840 words) by hailingstars Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Nebula (Marvel) Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Post-Endgame, Fix-It, Tony's hoodies, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Car Accidents, Protective Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker Series: Part 1 of irondad bingo Summary:

2 times Peter steals a hoodie from Tony and 1 time he doesn't have to

Irondad bingo prompt: Trope, Peter wearing Tony's hoodie. Recommend the whole series!

Six for Hell (18531 words) by romeoandjulietyouwish Chapters: 12/12 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Clint Barton & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Stephen Strange Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Stephen Strange, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff, James "Bucky" Barnes, Bruce Banner, Hulk (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Happy Hogan, Steve Rogers, May Parker (Spider-Man), Ned Leeds Additional Tags: Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Hurt Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Avengers Tower, Protective Clint Barton, Hurt, Blood, lying, Dark Character, Crying, Hugs, Angst with a Happy Ending, i promise this has a happy ending, Protective Tony Stark, Protective Stephen Strange, Protective Bruce Banner, Panic Attacks, Attempted Murder, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Torture, (not graphic), Bruce is the deus ex machina of this story, Nightmares, y'all this hurts, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD Summary:

After a mission, the Avengers are much different than normal. For one, they're trying to kill Peter Parker and he has no clue why.

Delusions of Happiness (7393 words) by Oracle507 Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, Happy Hogan & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan, Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Tony Stark, Happy Hogan is a Good Bro, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Child Neglect, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, I'm Bad At Titles Summary:

When Tony went to go recruit Spider-Man to fight the rouge Avengers, he'd expected to find a bright, hyperactive boy. Instead, he found a sad kid in a sad apartment that brought back memories he hadn't thought about in a long time.

The Fire's Out (But Still It Burns) (55833 words) by silver_bubbles Chapters: 12/12 Fandom: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Peter Parker & Aunt May, Peter Parker & New York, Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, May Parker (past), NYPD officers, Citizens, Original Female Characters (background), Original Male Characters (background), Miles Morales (mentioned), Jefferson Davis (Marvel) (mentioned), Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner Additional Tags: Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Whump, Angst, Homelessness, Hurt/Comfort, Past Character Death, Police Brutality, shameless whump, Blood, handwavy knowledge of medical procedures, I tried to be funny, but i also tried to make people cry, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trust Issues, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Homecoming Compliant, Not Infinity War (Part 1) Compliant, Homeless Peter Parker, NOT STARKER - Freeform Summary:

Early December in New York City is brutal. With temperatures hovering in the low fifties and mid-forties, there isn't much wiggle room- you either have what you need or you don't.

Peter falls somewhere in the second category.

He's made a list of what he has, keeps it zipped up in his old backpack to make sure he hasn't lost anything important. It isn't long: a carefully folded wad of cash in the bottom of his bag, hidden away to make sure nobody else can find it; three granola bars for emergencies; ibuprofen (fighting crime isn't safe, kids); his Spider-Man suit (that's what he's decided to call himself); a pair of extra socks; his pictures.

That's it. Everything Peter owns fits in one bag.

That's his lot in life.

Pathetic.

(In which May and Ben died in tragic circumstances, leaving a fifteen-year-old Peter Parker to fend for himself. Enter Tony Stark: genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist, and- apparently- Spider-dad.)

Early December in New York City is brutal. With temperatures hovering in the low fifties and mid-forties, there isn't much wiggle room- you either have what you need or you don't.

Peter falls somewhere in the second category.

That's it. Everything Peter owns fits in one bag.

That's his lot in life.

Pathetic.

tree houses and high tech loveys (2023 words) by paperback92 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark Characters: Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Pepper Potts Additional Tags: Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Mid-Credits Scene Compliant, i operate outside of canon now, sorry - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Whump, Parent Tony Stark, Iron Dad Summary:

Tony runs towards the sounds of her screams. They lead him to where he had last left her and Pete: the tree house. The same tree house that was in one piece an hour ago is now hunks of broken wood, shattered and scattered along the ground. And Morgan-

His daughter’s stuck in the middle of a web that’s suspended between the tree that the clubhouse was in and its next-door neighbor.

Hard Knocks (25448 words) by TempestRising Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, Ned Leeds Additional Tags: Peter Parker is a Foster Kid, Aunt May is dead sorry, Parent Tony Stark, Tony adopts Peter, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, All the Avengers Are Dads, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, This is the musical Annie Summary:

Tony gets a foster kid as a PR stunt to distract from his Iron Man disasters. That foster kid is Peter Parker, who's been kicked around the system for months. Peter is hesitant to trust a "new family" and frankly Tony is, too. Cue bonding. Cue bad foster stereotypes. Cue the Avengers taking in baby Peter.

Or: Yes this is the musical Annie.

Repeat After Me (3896 words) by battybatzgirl Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes Additional Tags: Precious Peter Parker, Father-Son Relationship, Worried Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Rhodey is So Done, Hurt Peter Parker, Gunshot Wounds, If Tony is Peter's Dad then Rhodey is Peter's exasperated Uncle, Humor, Hurt/Comfort Summary:

Tony’s face hardens as he says, “What kid.” “I don’t know, some twelve year old—” Below him, the kid coughs out, “Fifteen.” “—Fifteen year old—” Tony scrubs a hand across his face. “Don’t tell me he’s wearing a dorky shirt with a chemistry pun on it.” Rhodey frowns. That was oddly specific. Glancing down, he looks at what little he can see of the kid’s shirt—which isn't much since there’s so much blood now, but what could be once called a cartoon joke is printed on it. “Um, yeah?” “Son of a bitch.”

Otherwise known as how Rhodey finds out about how old Peter is, and how badly he needs to beat Tony with a stick.

The Five Times Peter Denies an Illness or Injury + the One Time He Doesn't (3308 words) by whumphoarder Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, No Romantic Relationship(s) Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan Additional Tags: Sick Peter Parker, Hurt Peter Parker, 5+1 Things, Vomiting, Broken Bones, Stabbing, Laryngitis, Common Cold, Minor Injuries, gratuitous use of the word kid, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Hiding Medical Issues, Chicken Pox, Irondad, Iron Dad Summary:

In which Peter is a little shit who can't admit when he's hurt or sick.

Always, Kiddo: Always (4650 words) by PinkEasterEggs Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan, May Parker (Spider-Man), Original Characters Additional Tags: Angst, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Swearing, Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Mentioned May Parker (Spider-Man), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Worried Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Angst with a Happy Ending, No Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant Series: Part 1 of IronDad Prompts To Warm And Break Your Heart Summary:

“Y-you don’t hate me?” Peter’s voice was meek and small as he choked on a sob.

Tony immediately shot back up, looking at Peter with confusion and horor. “Hate you? No, why?”

“Because i’m w-weak.”

Tony knows that something is up with Peter. He's been acting differently and shying away far more often. However, when he finds out the truth, he never expected it to be so heartbreaking.

#1: May's Abusive Boyfriend - The whole series is great

And in the middle of the flood I felt my worth (6117 words) by frostysunflowers Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner Additional Tags: Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Angst with a Happy Ending, Peter Parker Whump, Anxiety, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Food Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sad Peter Parker, Insecurity, Fluff, Miscommunication, hunger, Whump, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro Series: Part 1 of Irondad Bingo The series is great! Summary:

Peter was hungry.

No, that was a lie.

He was absolutely starving.

#fic recs #credit to the authors #couldn't find their tumblrs #send me a msg to add in credits for any of these authors that is on tumblr #shout out to the authors!!#mostly reading mcu right now bc i am in mourning now and forever #and need fluff and irondad/spiderson to recover #little bit of drarry #some johnlock and mystrade coming up next post #yeah i love fics #send me your favs and i'll pick them up #only hard limit is no mcd that sticks #YAY READING

11 notes · View notes

lucindarobinsonvevo · 5 years

Note

just curious how/why you are so captivated by the supporting characters of the show. do you like lucien and jean too?

I’ve started this several times to no avail, but let’s try again.

I’m sure you could psychoanalyse me, if you wanted and you might find something like ‘she feels like a supporting character in her own life’ and not be 100% wrong; but here’s what I think.

I like Jean. I like Lucien. Can you imagine watching the show if you didn’t like Jean and Lucien? It’d be unbearable, and a waste of your time. I like them, I was happy to see them get together. Their progression as characters is cool. But I don’t really find them that relatable.

That’s not a them problem, or a problem with the writing, I mean clearly not you’ve got eyes (presumably, you could be using a screen reader in which case you’ve got ears) Jeanuary is the most active the fandom ever is because people LOVE Jean. I get it! I assume they feel the way about Jean that I do about Mattie and Charlie. I’m always happy to see the fandom being active, because now there’s not new episodes of the show on the horizon we have to try harder than before to keep a fandom going. I didn’t participate as much as I did last year, because I had lots of personal stuff going on (shock horror amiright?) but i totally get it. I totally see what people love about Jean, but I just don’t feel it. Maybe I’m just too young, and in 25 years (we’ll still be here in 25 years right you guys?) I’ll get it. Maybe when I’ve been married, or when I’ve had kids, or if i have to get divorced or maybe it’ll just come to me one day. Or maybe it won’t. But I like Jean anyway.

I know what I like about Lucien, but I know it’s different to how most of the fandom feels about it. But I’ve got friends who feel the same way I do, so it’s not an uncommon way to feel about the character. I don’t really look at him like a shipping character, or a love interest I see him as a father figure character who I want to be father figuring for other characters. Lmao, psychoanalyse that.

But as for Mattie and Charlie, I relate to them. When I first started seriously watching TDBM (after getting over how upset I was about Danny/Rick Donald leaving), I was 16/17, i was in a new school in a new town, i was socially isolated, i was lonely to the nth degree and I was just….I was depressed. I saw that in Charlie, who was also new in town, and lonely, and not socially apt. I still see that in Charlie. That was something that I could relate too, he was a character I could project on to, and he was also...pretty handsome and I don’t say that lightly.

When it comes to Mattie, I get it. I get her arguments with her father over her studies. But I also aspire to be her. (I was saving this for mattie march but whatever) She’s relentlessly optimistic, and kind even if other characters tell her to be more realistic. She’s empathetic, and sweet and she can stand up for herself. I wish I was like that. I’m critical of everything (myself most of all), I’m blunt and I always struggle to find the positives in life but I want to try. I do try. I don’t always succeed but I’m trying. And…..well cate wolfe is beautiful and im but a mere lesbian.

As for Munro, i just like a good villain. Nothing complicated there.

They’re characters with stories to tell that are worth loving. To me, they aren’t really secondary characters. B team, sure, but I never think of them as less than any other character because to be honest, I don’t think I’m meant to. It’s testament to the skill of the writers on tdbm that even their secondary characters are real, fleshed out characters with stories and lives. They don’t exist in the show just to support Lucien and Jean, they have their own things going on. Even if I don’t always like those things. (*cough* charlie and rose *cough*), they’re never abandoned by the narrative, and there’s always space for them to come back.

Anyway. TL;DR: they’re right there, I find them relatable, yes I like Lucien and Jean. thanks for the question :-)

#mitzianswers #hope this answers your question anon #Anonymous

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fysebastian · 5 years

Text

chicago’s very own sebastian “james” altera has been spotted on madison avenue driving a 1965 ford mustang , welcome ! your resemblance to timothée chalamet is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re insecure , but being affable might help you . i think being a pisces explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be an unmade mess of bedsheets, a cloud of cigarette smoke against the night sky, an oversized borrowed hoodie . ( i slept with the director to get my first big role ) & ( cismale & he/him )

to everyone i haven’t met yet HELLO i’m bee and this is my trash baby sebastian <3 if you don’t read this whole thing then i don’t blame you and if you do then slide into the dms for some lovin because you’re da best. please be aware that this could be triggering to some and so if you’re sensitive to<b> abuse & suicide keep that in mind! that being said, pls don’t hesitate to send me an im if you’d like to plot~

basics

full name: sébastien émile altera, known as “sebastian james” nicknames: seb, bash birth date: february 28, 1995 occupation: actor sexuality: homosexual relationship status: married to jesse “lennon james” altera birth place: chicago, illinois nationality: french american height: 5′7″ weight: 142 lbs social media handle: @bashmoney afflictions: major depressive disorder smokes/drinks/drugs: yes/yes/yes

full story

sebastian was born to a newly wed couple as their second child and only son, completing their happy little family as a healthy and lively baby who always seemed to have a smile on his face.

his childhood was modest, but they lived comfortably. his father was a french immigrant and the breadwinner of the family whereas his mother was of american descent and a stay at home mom. he was raised catholic and attended church every sunday and said his prayers before their evening meal.

from a young age he remembers being glued to the television, to the point where his family would have to turn it off just to make him go outside. he’d memorize the lines from all his favourite movies and recite them to whomever would listen. it became very clear that he had an attraction to theatrics.

his dad never really humoured the thought of acting but his mom was a little more supportive of the idea and took him to his first audition when he was six years old. from then on he just kept auditioning and he had a handful of various roles from the ages of six to seventeen under his anglicised name (which is what he goes by).

sebastian was a good kid, but like most children he did rebel. he was twelve when he discovered alcohol and not much older when he discovered his attraction to boys, and both became a secret he’d try to keep from his family. most weekends he’d sneak out to some party or to hang out with his friends and although he struggled with his sexuality for a long time deep down he always knew

so long as he kept up with his studies and continued to attend church every sunday, his parents were fairly willing to turn a blind eye to his misdemeanors. his relationship became more and more strained the older he got, however. it became more obvious that he was resisting their upbringing and he seemed to stray further from god’s teachings every day. his family was not as happy as it appeared to be, and his father was often drunk and verbally abusive to his mother. as he became older he’d throw snide comments his way as well. he almost never attended his school plays even when he’d get the lead role in every one

sebastian graduated high school and left home as soon as he could, ending up moving to new york city with some friends and at eighteen he landed the role that would accumulate him mass amounts of fame, little did he know at the time. it was a lead role in a musical (spoiler but it’s hsm) and his rise to the top of the film industry was sudden and he was easily swept up by fame and fortune

sebastian, who had always trusted the wrong kind of people, found himself going out every night and waking up in places he didn’t recognize with people he didn’t know. he slept with whoever would pay him attention and swallowed whatever pill was put into his mouth. he dated all the worst kinds of guys, guys who would cheat on him and most notably a guy who was physically and verbally abusive on and off for years

his confidence was essentially destroyed during his period of time, believing that he couldn’t do any better for himself because he wasn’t worth anything and allowing himself to be manipulated by people who told him this. he was a shell of who he used to be

sebastian’s downhill spiral ended in disaster when he attempted suicide in a last effort to make it all end. luckily he was not successful and woke up in the hospital, from where he went directly to therapy. eventually things began to get a bit better

it was from here that he started over, getting back into acting and reconnecting with his old friends. there are times where the flashbacks and the nightmares and the negative thoughts feel like they’re suffocating him, but he’s doing a thousand times better than he was. he’s working on more healthy relationships and surrounding himself with positive people, but it’s hard because that’s not what he’s used to.

his parents have since divorced and he talks to his mom occasionally but hasn’t heard from his dad in years. he’s been making a new name for himself as of late in roles that involve drugs, mental health and most recently homosexuality (cmbyn anyone?)-- basically everything he was too afraid to even try when under the influence of his parents. he still parties, probably a little too much and a little too hard, but he’s a work in progress

personality/facts

sebastian is the kind of person who needs to be with people at all times. if he’s alone that’s when he really starts getting in his head. he’ll probably show up at your place unannounced if he feels comfortable with you and if he does it probably means that he needs to get away from himself for a bit.

he’s a very touchy person so he’s always cuddling up to his friends and likes to hug and express his affection in a very physical way.

he’s generally pretty nice to everyone and gets along with most people. it’s not hard for him to make friends but he’s somehow always questioning if people really like him or if they just put up with him. he’s very insecure about this deep down.

he wears his heart on his sleeve and is a very emotional person. he cries when he’s happy and he cries when he’s sad. he’s sensitive and just wants to be loved :(

very trusting of people and will likely forgive you again and again even if you don’t deserve to be forgiven

doesn’t seem to know he’s famous and is extremely humble.

he loves to dance even though he’s not the best at it and he loves to sing as well. he also plays the piano!

he lives in oversized hoodies and jeans and sometimes baseball caps. he’s also a big fan of knitted sweaters with quirky designs on them. definitely rocks the same pair of adidas sneakers until they’re no longer wearable. also band tees

he has a thing for old cars and vintage clothes. definitely has a giant record collection and is a big fan of rock music as well as rap

has a few tattoos but they’re all hidden

he’s bilingual and has been in a couple of french movies, which never really made it big in america

he’s a chain smoker; he smokes when he’s stressed, when he’s drunk, when he’s bored, etc. so he’s kind of always smoking

not a big social media user because he sometimes takes the negative comments to heart

#wealthyhq:intro #not much has changed besides his name #just a few minor details #abuse #suicide

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softdavidrose · 5 years

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💘choose five of your own favourite edits and do a short commentary on each, at what you absolutely loved about it as well as what you’d do in it now as in order to improve and other comments!💘 tag ten mutuals of yours to provide an opportunity to amazing content creators such as yourself to appreciate their edits and spread love!!

i was tagged by the lovely sara @amez-santiago thank you!! ♥♥♥

i’m gonna tag some amazing gif makers!! @patrickbrewcr @danslevys @rosesapothecary @oscarspoe @peraltiagos-blog @jakeperalta @wild-aloof-rebel @julieandrws and anyone else who wants to do it!

david rose + the pan flag colors this is probably one of the hardest and most rewarding gifsets i’ve ever made!! each step of making this took a really long time, from finding scenes that fit, either for colors or just moment where david was still (which i might say are very few lmao but same), to the coloring which was also very hard to achieve, especially because only the background has to be in color and sometimes even just one frame can fuck up the whole thing (like for example if the character moves too much you’d either have frames where the character’s skin/clothes/whatever are the bg color or frames where the bg color isn’t there and it’s hard) needless to say it’s a gifset i love a lot because hashtag representation and seeing all the lovely comments in the tags legitimately makes my day 🤧🤧 if i had to change something i might look harder for a different scene to use for the second gif because it doesn’t look as good as the other ones but 🤷 + bonus patrick + the gay flag colors because it took even LONGER than this one but it somehow looks worse lmao

rosa diaz + ha ha ha from my b99 rewatch series, this is a relatively simple gifset but it took me so damn long i honestly don’t know if there is an easier version to achieve that “scrolling” text effect but i really wanted it to look like this and i could not find ANYTHING for it online, so i literally just made like 50, or however many frames there were, text layers and placed each of them so it would look like the text was being “typed” i guess it was HELL but i love it and i think it looks dope

david rose + putting his hands on his face i love this one so much i think it’s so funny and it’s one of my most popular gifsets! i don’t really have a lot to say about it i just love it a lot!! also a part 2 may be coming

david and patrick + height difference i love this so much it’s very tender and i love height differences so i just had to make it LOL i don’t have a lot to add to this except for the fact that im love they

schitt’s creek + c.s. lewis quote oh boy i hope you’re ready for a long ass commentary on this one first of all i would like to blame @the-rosebud-motel for sharing this quote on discord and putting this idea in my head it is literally all her fault!! second of all, this gifset took me a bit because i had initially started with a different idea but it then became what it is now and i while i wish it looked a little different i am happy with the results!! i’m gonna put the commentary under read more because this is getting very long and i have A Lot To Say, if you wanna stay get ready to shed some tears because i did while making this LMAO hope you decide to read it because i spent a lot thinking about ways to make this perfect, but if you don’t wanna read it all that’s okay, thank you for reading all the way down here!!

okay so first of all, in my head this gifset is divided into three parts, the first one being the first 3 gifs, the second one being the middle one, and the third one being the last 3 gifs. in the next paragraph i’ll explain the Parallels™ and why each scene works for that specific moment or line and you’ll understand why i have this little ~division~ part one: gif #1 is one of the very first scenes of the show. the roses have lost everything and you can see the portrait being taken away in the background, a symbol of their wealth and life being gone. (you can’t change the beginning)

gif #2 is the roses staring at the town sign in 1x03. they’re shocked and weirded out by it and they just got to this town and the sign is a symbol of schitt’s creek being “gross” or “weird” etc

gif #3 is from 1x04, johnny and moira struggle with connecting with their kids and believe they are bad parents (as the title of the episode suggests), and so attempt to play a game of two truths and one lie to try to bond with david and alexis (needless to say, it doesn’t go well)

part two: gif #4 is from happy anniversary, the season 2 finale. the roses dance together as a family, they admit they love each other and have what is arguably the first happy family moment of the series. It’s a turning point for them, it’s their new beginning (but you can start from where you are)

part three: gif #5 is a parallel to gif 3: johnny and moira take their time to get a cake for David and alexis’ big days (they’ve done the best they can!!!!!). this time the effort is real and appreciated!!!

gif #6 is a parallel to gif 2: the roses are staring at another sign, the shining new “rosebud motel”. this time, they’re happy and excited, as the sign symbolises their full commitment to the town, that is now their home, and to stevie who is by now unofficially a rose as well 😭

gif #7 is a parallel to gif 1: the portrait is there and for a while they thought that’s what they wanted, a symbol of their status as wealth, but as moira says in the same episode “it doesn’t fit, and not just physically. we aren’t those people anymore. [...]” . this time when the portrait is left behind, it is not because it’s taken away from them, but because they are the ones to walk away from it: this is where the roses fully decide to leave their old lives behind and accept all the love and happiness that schitt’s creek has given them. the portrait, symbol of their old lives, is not what they need anymore, and actually it’s not what they have needed for a very long time. they walk together back to the motel, laughing at a joke moira made, and fully embracing the gift that has been given to them, a chance to rewrite their own story (and change the ending)

the entire gifset is then tied with the progression of colors, going from an almost black and white to colorful and vibrant. this is of course to symbolize how they went from being desperate and depressed to happy and loving BUT the beginning is not “just” the beginning of the series aka them losing everything, because the sadness and desperation was there before they lost everything even if they didn’t realize at first. so to quote the first episode, schitt’s creek was the roses’ saving grace, except not in the way it was intended in 1x01. sure it was shelter for when they lost all their money, but it was so much more than that, because it made them a family and gave them all they really needed, which isn’t money or wealth but kindness and love.

anyways uhhhhh, thanks for coming to my ted talk

#iole.txt #tag games #this was a lot!!!!#it's been a while since i sat down and actually properly made gifsets but i hope to get to it again!!#thank you for the tag sara 🥰💗#drink some water before reading the last one thank you

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nodaisieswithoutrainsies · 5 years

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Need Help With Mental Health and Getting out of an Abusive Situation

Okay so here’s my deal. My mom has abused me (mostly mentally, emotionally, and financially, but there’s been a decent amount of physical abuse too) since I was about 12 years old. I’m 21 now. I went away to college for a few years but due to some unforeseen circumstances I’ve had to move back home until Fall 2020. It’s just me and my mom. We don’t talk to extended family, I don’t have a father or siblings.

When I was 14 I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, Bipoar Depression, and GAD. When I was 18, ADHD was officially added in, and within the past month I’ve accepted my ASD diagnosis. I’ve been fully medicated for the past 7.5 year’s, and in outpatient therapy with the same wonderful therapist for that entire time. When I was 15 I voluntarily (it was my idea) put myself into a partial program for a month for suicidal ideation and depression and self harm. When I was 16 almost 17 I voluntarily (again, my idea) took myself to the ER to go into inpatient therapy in psychology ward at New York Presbyterian, but was only there for a week because the counsellors there all came to the agreement that I was in better shape than I knew and released me, but with a binder of coping mechanisms and into the care of that same therapist I still have. At this point in my life, I’m very self aware, I can take care of myself and my mental healthy by myself, and I’m extremely proud of the progress I’ve made to better myself as a person and take care of my mental health. My friends, my therapist, my boyfriend of 5 years (best friend of 8), and my godmother all agree and praise me for my progress.

My mother, as I said, has abused me. Getting worse and worse over the years (as I contrarily got better). When she’s in a good mood, she dotes on me and does everything for me and lavishly spends money on me and pines for my attention. None of which I ask her to do because.... When she’s in a bad mood, whether or not because of me (when the only reason it’s “because of me” is when I’m not feeling great and liked to be alone) she takes it out on me. Hits me, curses at me, threatens me, berates me, tells me I’ve made no progress and I’m crazy, that she’s a perfect mother, that nothing is wrong with her, she attacks me with specific hurtful insults (“that’s why he doesn’t really love you!”), and holds all of her good mood antics over my head. She’s called the police on me >10 times since I was 14. They always take me for an evaluation, I’m always let go saying the cops are crazy. This past Friday, she threatened and tried to kill me. Then lost her mind rocking back and forth on her knees. So I called and ambulance. Ended up in her freaking out and calling the cops on ME for originally trying to de-escalate what did in fact turn out to be a hostile situation. I got released, but not without all the nurses and paramedics tending to me, as well as the crisis counsellor setting me free, all giving me some support saying they believed me, giving me numbers of support places in the area to help adult abuse victims.

My therapist has a lot of interaction with my mom, as she gives out her cell phone, comes to my graduation parties, has had sessions with me and my mom, and has had us to her house before. Plus my mother frequently texts her and emails her insanities and false stories, accusations, and ramblings about me. So at this point, my therapist has diagnosed my mother with Narcossistic Personality Disorder, as well as Borderline Peraonality Disorder. My mom has briefly (~6 weeks) gone to another therapist, but that was years ago. She constantly denies she has mental health issues besides her depression (which she deals with by drinking excessively, self harming, and attacking me). She denies that therapy works (yet says it does for me). She’s manipulative of the people around her- spewing lies to police officers even when I’m calm, open about my bipolar/therapy/medication, and looking for help, spewing lies to her friends who never interaction with me so they don’t know anything except that apparently I’m the problem, and spewing lies to her sister, my aunt, the only family we talk to still, and her best friend/former girlfriend/my other parent of over 35 years. No one believes me except my therapist and friends and boyfriend. No cops, not people who “love me”, and obviously not her. She frequently tries to get me arrested or admitted to a hospital involuntarily. She has ~$16k of my money in her account that she keeps procrastinating giving me.

I recently opened my own bank accounts not attached to hers. I work, I go to school. I’m an aspiring Marine Geologist and I’d like to get my Masters and PhD. When I hopefully graduate May 2021, I will move to California to go to graduate school and make my own life. Away from her, never to speak to her again.

I don’t have much money, even once she does actually give me the money from her account. To finish my BS I need a total of ~$23k. My saved money was for school, not living expenses or car insurance or groceries etc. Hence why I moved home while I completed some prerequisites around where I live. I will move out if I absolutely have to, by my 4 cats are here, two of which are senile and sick. I don’t love my mom. I can’t at this point. I have PTSD or the similar diagnosis from the trauma and abuse. I keep denying family therapy because I’m not sure it’ll work if she doesn’t accent any responsibility or open her mind to realise IM not the problem. I have a car, which is not under my name and while I could switch it I can’t afford car insurance. I have my own furniture and stuff to furnish a place that I will be allowed to take with me when I leave.

At this point, family therapy is necessary to entertain her until I leave. I’m looking for advice, resources, anything any of you can give me to help me handle this and make my life good and achieve my ambitions. I’m a generally pretty happy person; I like to read, write poetry/prose/short stories/songs, go hiking and enjoy nature, hang with my friends, make new ones, love animals, volunteer at the humane society, act, sing, improv, be in theatre, sew, and give advice and love to my friends who need it. I’m an advocate for sexual assault victims (twice in my life), mental health, animals, climate change, women, LGBTQ+ community (bisexual and genderqueer!), and eventually for abuse victims once I get out of here. (And by this I mean I actively take strides to advocate for these causes, joining clubs and marches etc, not just saying that because I experience some of them). I’m not a bad person, I don’t think. I try my hardest to always improve, and I wish I was dealt a better hand (don’t we all?). I’m not asking for money, I could never. I’m asking for advice and resources and a community. Anything yall got for me I’d appreciate more than anything. Thank you for listening/reading, I know it was a lot. If you got this far or offer help, I’ll hit you up with a follow even though that won’t be enough to repay your kindness. Ugh sorry that sounded textbook. Idk. But thank you so much. I really appreciate your time and advice.

-Jessica (I’m from downstate NY by the way)

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