#their supports is the most precious shit i’ve ever seen

[moonndust]

what i initially thought how the kagetsu/seadall supports would go

[artists-ally]

{Only Me and the Devil Know} Azriel x Reader

Picture credit

So. I have no real explanation for this other than I was ready this AMAZING fic and it sparked an idea. That’s it. That all I can say. I’m already blushing. Blow up my inbox, comments, and dm's with your thoughts! Enjoy <3 Title from this song. (Ps. Thank you for all the support on the teaser????? You guys are insane I love you all so much)

Word Count: 12,169 (HOLY SHIT)

Warnings: SMUT. like seriously, this is nasty. Pre-established relationship and consent, CNC, dom/sub, role play (predator and prey), pet names (dove!reader and master!Azriel), breath play, overstimulation and forced orgasms, bondage, spanking, oral (m&f), breeding kink, degrading, humiliation, masochism, stalking, biting, minor blood.

Summary: Azriel has had this fantasy of you that he's been terrified to ask you to partake in. After explaining and agreeing, fear and desire blur together in a terrifying game of predator vs. prey.

Tagging: @librafairy @needylilgal022 @bunnymallowo

~~~~~

The tip of the sun caressed my skin through the window, gently waking me from whatever dream I had been having. My shoulder ached from having slept on it a little weird, and my eyes were bleary. 

I wandered to the kitchen that overlooked the hills, boiling some water for some tea. When I looked around the room, I felt this sense of pride for how far I’ve come in this little city. Everything was as it should be. 

After breakfast, I changed for the day. The familiar worn in overalls slipped on, tucking the ends into my boots. I threw on a long sleeve shirt, the beginning of fall nipping through the window. While it was nice to have a change of seasons, it made me sad to have to say goodbye to some of the flowers and vegetation of the summer. 

I packed a lunch and headed out, locking the door behind me. The walk this early in the morning was always therapeutic; chirping birds and herd of deer along the edges of the forest across the meadow. The dirt and stones crunched under my feet as I walked down the self-forged path to my shop on the corner.

I pulled the sign from my little alley and set it up to display the new deals and sales. On my door was a folded piece of paper with my name in some of the most incredible font I’ve ever seen. 

“Oh my sweet little dove, you look so precious in that outfit of yours. With your hair braided down your head. You don’t even know my name and yet I scream yours every night. Don’t worry, I already know everything about you.”

My heart dropped. I whirled around and looked down the street. The sun hadn’t even come up yet, so maybe whoever left it was still out there. No one. No one was around besides me. The breeze rustles my wind chimes, making it feel even more eerie. 

What the fuck?

I read it over again, not recognizing the handwriting. I quickly unlock the door and lock it behind me. I quietly step through the shop, checking if there’s anyone inside. Maybe I shouldn’t have locked myself in here.

No one was inside, and I blew a sigh of relief. With my head on a constant swivel, I went about my day, checking every corner of every room I went in. A friend of mine, Cece, stopped by in the afternoon. She clearly noticed the wariness in my eyes.

“Someone just left it on your door? Yn, why don’t you report it?” She asked, disgust written in her eyebrows as she looked at it again and again. 

“Well, who would I report it to?” I shrugged. 

“Hmm, let me think. Oh, I don’t know, maybe our High Lord?” I rolled my eyes at her sarcasm. “Yn, it’s not safe! Someone is obviously stalking you.”

“I’m fine.” I lied. I was a wreck. A complete boneless, nervous wreck. Cece knew. 

“Yn-”

“I can handle myself,” I shook my head. “If I need to, I have a dagger under the cash register.”

“Yeah because that’ll stop a full grown male,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m just worried, Yn. I don’t wanna have anything happen to you. Especially when we can prevent it.”

“I will be alright, don’t worry about me,” I waved off. “If I feel unsafe I’ll let you know. And Damien is right next door, surely he’ll be able to help if something goes wrong.”

With a sharp inhale, and an obvious disagreeing tone, she left it alone. I didn’t feel unsafe here, and it was the middle of the day. Who would attack someone in the middle of the day? In public nonetheless. 

____

There wasn’t a note on the door the next day, thank the Cauldron, and I began planning for the town’s annual solstice celebration. It was still a few months away, but I had to preserve some flowers for the winter in order to make holiday arrangements. 

I designed and sketched wreaths, garlands and some other things to be put into production. Having to hand make all of them was a pain, and I usually hired some more help to get things done a lot faster. 

It was a rare slow day, and I enjoyed the peace and quiet. I watered and swept, wiping down tables and shelves. I couldn’t shake this feeling no matter how hard I tried. I felt like I was being watched. And there was this chill in the air. Inside my shop, which always remained in the seventies for the plants. 

But it was cold. I checked the thermostat, and it was still where it needed to be. Why did it feel so fucking cold?

Maybe It was just me, and I was getting a little sick. 

Whatever it was, it followed me all the way home. I knew my eyes were playing tricks on me. I kept seeing things in the shadows move, but whenever I got closer, nothing was there. Yup, definitely being paranoid now. 

The next morning was the same; no note, but this agonizing feeling that I was being watched no matter where I was. I was still cold and could do nothing to warm up. I helped an older female find something for her granddaughter who had a music recital tonight. When I looked across the counter at her, there was nothing but my counter– and the flowers and her purse. But I dropped one of the coins and I bent to pick it up. 

There was a note on the counter. With my name. In the same handwriting as before. 

My throat closed, fingers tingling with panic. I quickly helped the lady along and stared at the piece of paper. Where the fuck did it come from. It was literally there in a second. What the actually fuck is going on?

“My dove, you know it’s rude to not write back. I don’t take kindly to indecency. But you won’t be able to avoid me forever. Rest up, dove. You’ll need it.”

Need it for what? My heart thundered against my ribs. Surely I should report this, but… but I didn’t want to. I don’t know why I didn’t want to, but I didn’t. It was probably just some kid trying to scare me. I kept telling myself that, but it hardly worked when I left, constantly checking over my shoulder. 

I needed to head down the street to grab something for dinner. On the corner of the road was a group of people chatting loudly, a couple walking in front of me. There were people around. Good. 

The Serpentine Supply was the only grocery store open this late. I made my way through the isles and plucked whatever looked good off the shelves. I could surely make… something with all of this. 

When I headed out, there was no group on the corner. No couple walking in front of me. No crickets or last minute birds tucking themselves in for the night. 

A silhouette was the only thing I saw. Tall, so tall, and muscular. A creeping shadow behind the figure, and as it moved, it revealed wings. So enormous they touched the ground despite his height. 

I could almost recognize the face, but it looked vague. Like I had seen it before, but couldn’t recall where. Surely I’d remember a face that beautiful. Clearly High Fae. He shouldered off the wall, eyes set on me. I fled, almost dropping my bag, bolting in the opposite direction towards my home.

I heaved as I fell against the inside of my door. Curling my legs up, I listened for footsteps until I remembered the male had wings. Wings. 

Fear coursed through me and I went to the safe under the cabinet in my room. I twisted the dial and plucked the dagger in my palm. I couldn’t breathe, let alone eat, so I sat at my kitchen table and waited to see if he would try to follow me in.

It could’ve just been a random male, I told myself. And it was probably more likely. 

But what if that was- no. I can’t terrorize myself like that. This is all coincidental and I’m blowing all of this out of proportion. There is no reason someone would want to hurt me. But then again sometimes you don’t have to do something to have people want you-

Nope. Not going there. 

_____

With basket in tow, I walked up the hillside to my personal field. Rows of still-in-season flowers greeted me as I rounded the crest. I lifted up my skirt and bent down, plucking the last of the summer blooms to be stored for the winter. 

I was so happy when I discovered the preservation technique last Solstice so everyone could enjoy these beautiful flowers year round. I laid them all in the same direction, careful to not destroy the delicate petals. 

It was actually a nice day, and the sun was warm despite a cooler breeze. The sundress I had put on was one I’ve worn a thousand times, the hemp dulled and frayed from years of wear and play in the dirt picking flowers and gardening. It was lightweight and easy to maneuver in. My feet were bare. No real need for shoes out here. I liked feeling the dirt between my toes anyway, shoes just got in the way and made my feet sweat. 

I picked up a dahlia and laid it in the basket, reaching for another before I shrieked. 

A dark tendril of something circled around it, through the petals and drenching it in darkness. I launched back away from it, hands breaking my fall. 

“My dove, don’t you look pretty today,” a voice crept down my spine. I had only then realized I backed up into something solid. I scrambled, staring up at the figure. I had to shield my eyes from the sun, but a winged silhouette blocked it a second later.

Oh shit.

My brain fogged and words were long forgotten.

“It’s okay, dove. Don’t be afraid,” he spoke. His mouth curled into a feline smile when he took a step towards me, and I scooted back. He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Oh, my pretty prey, don’t you see? You can’t run. You’re all alone out here, aren’t you?”

I shouldn’t answer, I can’t let him know that I’m all alone.

“N-No,” I stuttered, breathless and boneless. “No, I am not alone.”

“Don’t lie to me,” his tone sent a ripple down my back. “Even if you weren’t alone, there’d be nothing anyone could do.”

Fear prowled through me, and I think he could sense that. I anchored myself to the ground, prepared to bolt at any second and try to put as much distance as I could. Would it be useless? Probably. Would I go down with a fight? Absolutely. I’d kick and scream and-

“It’s so adorable to watch you think you have a chance,” he tilted his head, bending down over me. I took in those wings, that sharp jaw and even sharper eyes. His skin was flushed with a fine layer of sweat, and he smelled like an inferno. 

My core tightened. My fingers and toes were numb with dread. 

“Such a shame. A pretty thing like you shouldn’t ever be left alone. Someone could just come right up to you and take you as their own.” “I told you I’m not alone,” I bit out. 

He chuckled. Void of any real amusement and full of predatory hunger. “It’s okay, dove. I only want to take you for a little while, show you all the things that delicate body does to me. Only when I am satisfied will I give you back.”

A sob shuddered through me as he gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. “P-Please don’t- please don’t hurt me-”

“Oh, I will. But it will feel so good for you. You’re going to cry. And beg. And scream. All for me. You’ll realize that no other male will be able to make you feel the things I can make you.” His voice was of the smoothest silk, but the words were so wrong. So repulsing. It certainly didn’t help when he looked so striking. 

I swallowed, nothing going down. I shook with nothing but fear when his hand traveled down my chin, to my neck. He gripped, not cutting off air, but firm enough I knew I was fucked. I couldn’t move, I was paralyzed by his eyes. 

This was it. This was going to happen. 

I have to try and run. I have to try. I looked up and down his body, at his midsection crouched over my legs. I kicked up as hard as I could, sending him to the ground with a groan. I scrambled, as fast as I could, to my suddenly limp feet and ran. I sprinted into the woods, not daring to look back to see if he was following. I knew he was following.

My chest burned with the need for oxygen. I zig-zaged through the trees, stepping on branches and sharp stones. When I screamed, nothing came out. My voice was dead in my throat and I couldn’t scream. It felt like I was in a nightmare. Where all laws of physics are wiped away for the sake of terror.

How far I ran I didn’t know, but I couldn’t see my meadow from wherever I was. Who knew what was in these woods? I slowed my pace a little to catch my breath. I walked– more like jogging– through the thick brush. Thorns and bugs tore up my arms and legs. 

Great. Now the sun was going down. Normally a Velaris sunset would put a beaming smile on my face. Right now? It only filled me with worry. 

The soles of my feet were cut and filled with dirt. My trembling had slowed, but every new snap of a twig had it tumbling back into me. I kept my gaze on the vegetation in front of me, careful not to step on too many branches. The last thing I needed was to send a ripple of sound to what/whoever was after me.

I smacked face first into a tree. So hard my vision danced away from me. The back of my head hit the forest floor and I groaned, hugging it close to my chest. As I rolled onto my shoulder, I was forced onto my stomach. My voice filled me when I saw the scarred hand, belonging to the male I thought I left in the field. 

“Where are you going, my prey? You think you can outrun a predator like me? Aww, my dove. You should know I love the chase, to see the fear in your eyes. Fear is one of our most primal instincts, fleeing only makes me want to hunt.” 

He was heavy on top of me, hand fisting in my hair to force me up. I tried to fight against it, but I couldn’t move. 

“Run again and I will have no choice but to hurt you. Though I bet you’d beg me to keep going.”

In a second, that same tendril-like shadow surrounded us. It filled every pore of my skin, every hole in my body. I felt like I was suffocating. That I was choking and couldn’t do anything to clear the obstruction. My eyes watered and I shrieked in my head. 

As fast as it was there, it was gone. I sucked in breaths, coughing up the saliva that was trapped in my throat. When I opened my eyes, I had no idea where I was. The cold, smooth concrete under my palms and knees was no indicator. There was no light except a singular bulb overhead. There was a table in the middle bound with leather, and a wall lined with different weapons and tools.

“Have no fear, dove. I won’t be using all of them on you today,” the voice echoed, and I spun around, trying to find it. He was nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Panicking, I ran towards one wall, hoping to find a door. I pounded at it with everything I had, nothing giving away.

It was solid stone.

“Please let me go, I promise I won’t tell anyone about this,” I pleaded, sinking into the farthest corner. “Please I won’t-”

“I know you won’t, my dove,” the male emerged from the shadows. “But I don’t care.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “I don’t want this. Please, sir-”

“Master.” his voice boomed into the room. “Call me anything other than master and there will be consequences.”

I cowered against the wall, legs tucked up under myself. Maybe if I appease him then… “Please master I-”

“Would you look at that,” he grinned. A feral grin with a promise to bring pain. “My dove knows how to take orders. So good to know you have a desire deep down to please and cooperate.”

“I don’t want this.”

“I know you don’t, and that’s what makes me want you more, dove,” he knelt down in front of me again, tucking away some of the hairs in my face. Under any other circumstance, I’d find the movement comforting, reassuring maybe. This? This was haunting. Make-your-stomach-blanche haunting. 

“What do you want from me?” I asked, daring a look in his green eyes. In another setting, I’d find them beautiful. But not this one. 

“I’ve already told you. I will return you when I am satisfied,” the male flashed his white teeth. “Get up.”

He yanked me by my bicep and hurtled me out of the corner. My feet stumbled and he kept me upright, dragging me to the table. My lower back aches when I crash into it, but the table didn’t move. I gripped the edge for dear life while my eyes stayed locked on my captor. 

My heart begged me to find safety. But there wasn’t a door, not a window in this chamber. 

“Where am I?”

“Far from anything, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ll take care of you, my dove. I won’t be kind, but I don’t want to kill you.”

Was it comforting? Sort of. Not really. No, it wasn’t comforting in any way. This male, this winged male, was going to do whatever he wanted. I’m at his mercy. His to play with, to decide what to do with, and I had no say in the process or the outcome. 

He turned to face me after looking at the wall of tools and things. “Oh dove, why didn’t you say you were needy?”

I blinked at him, shifting on my feet. “I’m not needy. I just want to be let go.”

“You think I can’t smell the sweet scent between those legs of yours?” His gaze darkened, traveling up and down my trembling body. “I bet if I touched you you’d arch into me, wouldn’t you? You're all messy and ready for me, aren’t you?”

I shook my head, biting my lip. His massive hand wrapped around my throat, pulling me inches from his face. He ducked his head down, planting a kiss right below my ear. I shivered. No no no no no this was not about to happen. 

His teeth nipped my ear and he exhaled, sending uninvited goosebumps across my arms and legs. 

“Despite your best efforts,” he whispered, breath skimming me ignited skin. “You are arching into me. You want me to touch you, don’t you?”

I couldn’t move my head with his grip, which only tightened when I didn’t come up with a response quick enough. “No, no I don’t want you to touch me.”

“Pity,” he said. “Your body says otherwise. Even though I frighten you, have you at my will, you find it thrilling, little dove. Aww, see? You’re so hungry for my touch, my mouth, that you can’t even stay still. I know my dove needs it, she’s such a slut already and I haven’t even done anything.”

Impossible. It was impossible not to writhe at his words. Heat flooded my body in a moment. No, don’t want this. This is wrong. This is so fucking wrong.

He let out a cruel laugh, the vibrations prickling my skin. He manipulated my head where he wanted, pressing his mouth up my neck, across my collarbones. My eyes lulled shut, unintentionally letting my head fall back. 

“Good girl, my dove.”

I gasped as his teeth grazed right where my vein pulsed under my skin. His hand roughly grabbed my hips and lifted me onto the table. They forced my knees apart and he stepped into the space. I whimpered.

“So vocal,” his voice was criminally sleek. “Be as loud as you want dove, no one can hear you scream.”

Again, not comforting.

“W-What are you going to do to me?” My voice bobbled, especially when he pulled off my body and stared at me. 

“Ask me one more time and I will make you regret it.” There was no room for negotiation in his voice. “But, since you are such a curious little whore, I guess we can get started.”

The world whirled around me as he forced me chest down. I hung over the edge, blood rushing to my face. His hands grabbed the neckline of my dress and ripped it down the zipper. The bitterness of the dark room chilled me to my core. 

A single one of his fingers felt its way down my spine. I kicked out, wiggling away from his fine touch. That finger left my back and came down hard on my ass. A scream tore through my body. The sting boomed across my skin, definitely leaving a raised welt in the shape of his hand. 

“Keep still.” He ordered. I panted with the force of that smack. “I mean it dove, I don’t want to hurt you… too bad anyway.”

I tried to hold still as his hands explored my body. They were firm which helped. I could predict the patterns of his hands and the tension slowly slipped from my body. I relaxed a shoulder down to the table, then let my legs dangle. 

“See? You’re already growing accustomed to my touch. Such a good little girl, my dove. I will reward you, you can keep pretending you don’t crave me as much as I crave you.” 

My body was betraying me. I have this type of reaction. It was wrong. On so many levels.

But my goodness was he a stunning male. 

Why I relaxed as he lifted the hem of my skirt up, I couldn’t ever say. But I was more embarrassed when he cooed at me, a soft, almost sweet noise coming from deep in his chest. 

“Aww,” he sighed. “Nothing under this? All prepped and ready for me, dove? I should have known how much of a whore you’d be for more. So kind of you to make it so easy for me to use you. To have my unwavering way.”

“Master I- please don’t do this to me-”

“And would you look at that?” He palmed my ass apart. “You are a soaking wet mess. I am two for two, I wonder what else I am right about. I think you’ll like it when I touch you, so much you’ll come apart just after a few strokes. I think I can get you to cum on my cock as many times as I want, until you’re an incoherent, slobbering mess. What do you think, dove? If you agree I’ll make you feel sooo good.”

I was quivering. Fuck, he had been right. And I felt so ashamed about it. Nothing about this should be arousing, and yet, he was completely right. Cauldron boil me for this.

I nodded. Despite all the bells and whistles telling me to fight and keep going. I nodded. 

“I knew you’d come around,” I could hear the sinister smile in his voice. “Get up, dove.”

Slowly, I lowered my feet to the ground and turned to face him. He reached around me and pressed a switch on the table. It began to move, angling itself on a slant. A panel came out at the bottom and the male flipped it up. “Step.”

Uh oh. 

With a wary look at him, I stepped onto the small metal platform barely big enough to place my feet on. I face him, the dress barely clinging to my body. He grabbed one of my wrists and forced it over my head. A cuff of leather latched around it. 

When I tried to yank it away, his free hand wound around my throat, cutting off all oxygen. I gargled, going slack in his grip. 

“I told you if you tried to get away, I’d have to hurt you,” he shook his head. “My prey hasn’t learned her lesson.”

My eyes widened as he grabbed something off the wall behind me. The second he rounded to where I could see him, my heart blazed in my chest. There was a small sword in his hand and he spined it between his fingers aimlessly. 

With two light-blurring moves of his arm, he cut off the sleeves to my dress and it pooled around my feet. I don’t know when I closed my eyes, but then they were open, staring down at my now naked body. “Defy my order again and I’ll cut you, do you understand?” I nodded vigorously. 

I still had one hand free, and I used it to try and cover myself. The male watched me twist and turn under his stare. 

“Looks like I still have something to take care of,” he looked at the hand that was shielding the space between my thighs. Within a minute, he had gained control of my hand and I was tied up. Completely naked and exposed to him. “Much better.”

I didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say. So I stayed quiet. I just watched his every move. 

“What to do with you first,” he tapped his chin. “I should punish you for trying to get away from me again. But I think I just want to play with you a little bit more.”

He pressed another button, and the table tilted back so it wasn’t such a steep incline. My arms were already feeling strained as I tugged at the cuffs around my wrists. Most of my weight fell on my back, but gods my arms ached already. 

This was it. Nothing I can do to stop this. Fear and dread and every other emotion bubbled up and out, sobs wracking through my chest. 

“Don’t be afraid my dove,” his voice was anything but soothing as he dragged his fingers down my cheek. “I will make you feel so many good things. See? I only want to ruin you for anyone other than me. That’s it, my prey.”

His hand pinned my leg to the table, basically covering the entire thigh with his hand. He was so big. From his hands to his wings, even his shoulders were massive and otherworldly. A finger brushed up the crease of my hip, dipping into the mess on my skin. I jolted when he slid that finger between the tops of my thighs. 

It was so light, so gentle in comparison to how he’s been. With a shaky breath, my eyes fluttered shut as I let him touch me. 

“So soft, dove,” he praised. “Let's see how you taste. I hope it’s as sweet as those flowers of yours smell.” He let his tongue curl out and around the pad of his middle finger, eyes locked on mine. With a hum of approval, he grinned. “My dear dove, you taste so wonderful. I am going to undo you so many times so I can taste you over and over again. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Yeah I know you do. Don’t worry, I will make you, whether you want to or not.”

Chills spread down my back and I arched off the table when he stuck two fingers inside me. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel great. Not until his thumb brushed over my clit, making me jump viscously. 

“Tell me what you want, dove.” 

I had to calm the inferno in my mind before I could speak. “Just- please…”

“Please what? Use those words of yours, slut. Or are you already too fucked out to form sentences?” That wicked mouth of his didn’t make it any easier.

“I want… more,” it came out a whisper. So tentative and meek I wasn’t sure if I had said it out loud. 

“You want more, my prey?” I nodded. He let out a soul crippling laugh. “Just remember, you asked for this.”

His fingers picked up, and his mouth latched onto my breast. Teeth bit into the skin, and I knew it was the first mark of many to come. There was nothing to do except take what he was giving me. And right now, it didn’t feel bad. Pleasure ripped through with another brush of his thumb and my core tightened. 

Sweat pricked my skin, my hair itching the back of my neck. I was so hyper aware of everything going on with my body it was impossible to focus on anything else other than that it started to feel good. Fuck. I was giving in. I need to resist. This was- this was wrong. And yet I was… I was enjoying it? He had to have drugged me or- or cast some sort of spell to make me react to his touch. I couldn’t find any of this desirable, could I?

“Would you like to cum, dove?” He stilled his hands, but my hips kept moving. “Are you that desperate? That you’re fucking yourself on my fingers?”

I stopped immediately. My mouth gaped open and closed for a response, but nothing came. 

Two heartbeats later he shoved his fingers in so deep I pulled on the chains so hard I began to lift myself away from his touch. He pinned my thigh back to the table and circled my clit, drawing noises from me I so desperately wanted to keep inside. 

There wasn’t anything I could do to convince him that I was repulsed by this. Because he and I both knew that I was into it. Problematically into all of this. I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I couldn’t let that little bit of control I needed to ground me. What control did I actually have? I had no power. Nothing to hold over him. 

I was tied. To a table. In a room without a door. Cauldron knows where I am. Of course I had no power here. 

But it… it filled me with fear. This primal fear, just like he said. And I couldn’t stop him from doing whatever he wanted. And that was… that was…

Pleasure ripped through me, forcing me to arch off the table and scream out. I hadn’t given my body permission to lean into this. Fuck fuck fuck. It felt so good, his fingers pushing me further down that fine line between reality and euphoria. 

“My dove, that was quick,” his eyes were full of hunger. And so were mine. “I knew you would come around. I knew a slut like you would give into those animalistic behaviors at some point. Now the rest of this will be seamless. All you have to do is stay there and let me fuck you until you go dumb with it.”

My legs were shaking, my pussy clenching on nothing as he ripped them from my body. I might have moaned. Just maybe. 

The male hit the button again and my legs flew down to help support my weight. I had to press on my toes to take some of the pressure off my wrists; pins and needles shot down my fingers and arms from the lack of blood. 

“What do you say, dove? Should I make you cum again? Yeah, I think I’m going to.”

He knelt to the floor and grabbed the back of my calf. I watched, still heaving from my first orgasm. He let it fall over his shoulder, doing the same with the other. Was he going to- oooh gods….

The first pass of his tongue sent my head rolling back, eyes with it. I bucked my hips into his face, meeting his carnal stare. He grinned, chin glistening with my mess. He looked… fuck he looked good. All those sharp, cunning features between my legs. My mind melted and all my morals went with it. 

Here I was: chained to a table with a sadistic, obsessive male, and I was loving the sight of him between my legs. What the fuck is wrong with me? I didn’t have time to answer my own question as content filled me. He lapped over every inch of my entrance and didn’t let up. 

“Gods… fuck- forgive me,” I whimpered out, feeling this overwhelming sensation begin to break apart my seams. I gasped, then screamed. His teeth latched onto the inside of my thigh. He bit me. Hard. Forceful enough to bring tears up and forceful enough to make me bleed. 

“Now if any other male tries to take you, they’ll see my bite and know that if they don’t get out they’re going to be in a world of pain,” he muttered, brushing away the drops of blood with his hand. He resumed the flicks of his tongue, not letting up when I began to see stars.

“Ple-Please,” I shout, arching off the inclined surface and clamping my legs around his head. In a second, I was pinned to the table, his nails digging into the skin of my thighs. A brutal hand came down right over the bite, and I screamed. Fuck that hurt. “Ah- stop.”

“Why? Does it hurt, my prey? It’s fucking supposed to. Now shut the fuck up and take it. Stop acting like you don’t love this.” 

I cried out, his tongue darting up and down my core. My stomach tightened in that familiar way, but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of another release. I had given him what he wanted, wasn’t that enough?

“Stop holding back.” Another claw of his nails at the backs of my thighs. “Cum now or I will make the next one far less enjoyable.”

I obeyed. I didn’t have a choice. My body just did it. I yelped, straining against the bindings so hard I knew they’d cut my wrists. With my hips pinned under his powerful hold, I twitched and writhed and shook with the force of my second orgasm. I couldn’t stop shaking. Couldn’t stop whining and begging him to stop licking me. 

The male didn’t let up and tears fell out of my lashes. I sobbed. Sobbed. It was too much, too much pressure and pleasure it hurt. It stung. It burned and added to the ever growing pins and needles in my arms. They were numb, and couldn’t keep me up anymore. 

My body flops fully against the table as he keeps a firm grip on me. 

“M-Master please stop-” I begged, “please I need a break.”

Alas, he pulled his head away from my throbbing pussy. The sight of him was… Cauldron spare me. His hair was a tangled mess, and his eyes were full of his pupils. Black, affectionless pits in his face. He looked exactly as he said he was, a predator. A true, hungry, wild predator. 

And I had made him that way. 

“I’m far from done, my dove,” he rose to his full height, tilting the table all the way back. Relief flooded my arms. “I think you’re ready for something else.”

He came around to my head and I watched him, upside down, the light hurting my eyes. He shed the belt around his waist and let it fall to the floor with a loud ‘clang’. His scarred hand put the button through its slit and I could see the outline of him through his pants. 

Holy Mother send me a blessing.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be able to fit it.” “No,” I shook my head. “No that will not fit in my-”

“Well, it’s going to. Open wide, pretty dove. Fuck… look at you. All spread out for me, pink and flush. You look so mouthwatering. So perfect for me to ruin and bruise.”

With another click of a button, the cuffs above my head began to move down. The blood rushed back and I sighed out. They were now at my sides. When I dared a look back up, the male had dropped his pants. Mother fucking- that is not going to-

“Open,” He demanded, palming my jaw. I was in too much shock at the sheer size to really hear it. A slap struck me in the face, and I jolted to the side. “Now. Make me ask again and see what I will do with this.”

My jaw unhinged and he slipped in. I choked, bending my legs to try and gain some leverage. Cool streaks slithered up my feet and around my ankles. they yanked, the force of it pulling me off his cock, and I looked down at the tendrils of shadow curled around my skin. 

“What the fuck-” I shouted until I couldn’t breathe anymore. The male had come around the front of my head and slammed a hand against my throat. The pressure built up in my face, and I coughed, choking on what little air I had left. His eyes were narrow, a snarl on his lips. 

After a few moments, the stars were back, and the room dimmed. Heart pounding. I was right there, so close to losing consciousness when air rushed back into my lungs. I thought I was going to throw up with how hard I was breathing. 

He grabbed my hair and forced me down, shoving his cock back into my throat. All the way. I gagged. I was fully stretched out on the table as he rocked his hips into me. He was tall enough that the table wasn’t a hindrance. 

“I told you dove, bad things happen when you disobey me.”

He almost put me unconscious. My head was foggy, and my vision was still laced with stars. I had no other choice but to take what he was doing. Just like he said I would.

When I closed my eyes, I let my throat relax. He praised me, sinking in further and further. Every other thrust I got a breath. He pulled out once and let the tip of his cock trace around my lips so I could catch a breath. Instead of waiting for him to decide when I was done, I stuck my tongue out in acceptance. 

“My prey is learning so quickly,” he stroked a massive hair down my throat, pressing in. I could feel it prod against the surface of my skin, right where his hand was. “I bet you can feel that, huh? How far down I am?” A quick clench of his digits sent fear rolling back through my body. I couldn’t breathe again- “Shh, I won’t let you suffocate on my cock. There are far too many things we still have left to do. Just relax- that’s it. Look at you! Such a pretty whore, already wrung out on my cock. And I haven’t even been inside you.”

I swallowed around him when he removed his hand. That earned me a deep, rumbling sound from his chest. In the past couple minutes, his voice had dimmed to nothing but a growl. Like he was turning into an animal.

It was so thrilling. 

With every snap of his hips, my whole body rocked with it. Wetness pooled onto the table and I could feel it smear against my skin. He reached down and pulled at my nipple, sending shocks all through my body. “Yeah you can take more. I want you a whimpering mess, you still have a ways to go, don’t you dove?” I nodded my head as best I could. “That’s what I thought.”

His hips snapped into my face, cock stabbing my throat. It was so painful, and my lungs burned for a full breath again. Nothing about the way he was forcing it in told me he was going to let me have one. It could’ve been minutes or hours that he fucked my throat. I wouldn’t have the slightest chance of talking in the morning. And part of me didn’t mind that thought. Or the thought of seeing his marks across my skin. 

I moaned around him. I watched his head draw back, and heard what that had done to him. “Do that again, don’t stop.”

An endless supply of them tumbled out of me and around him. His hips stuttered for a second. Both of his hands palmed the side of my head, bringing it to meet his motions. One-two-three-four-five more later and he shoved all the way in, blocking my airway entirely. Long ropes of cum shot down my throat, forcing me to swallow. Some came back up into my nose. 

When he pulled out, I nearly hurled. The taste wasn’t bad, but the need for air was. I gulped it down, eyes unable to keep themselves open. I could barely feel the cuffs loosen from my writs. I was a limp pile of used limbs. Exactly what he wanted.

I felt like I was in the clouds. 

The next thing I knew was I was on the ground and the freezing concrete woke me up. My hands and knees stung and shook. I felt weightless and like I was a ton at the same time. I couldn’t keep myself up, arms giving out as I went face first into the floor.

All I could hear behind me was the male rugged breathing. Two agonizing slaps were planted on my ass. A garbled scream tore through the air as he did it again. And again. It eventually became so painful I couldn’t feel it. My chest was flat against the ground. 

“I am gonna fuck you,” he told me. “And I am going to hurt you so fucking good. You’re gonna scream and cry until you can’t. I’m gonna fill you all the way up, too. So much it’ll drip out of you for the next hour.”

The tip of his cock swirled through the mess between my legs. “Please, master. Fill me up.”

“That’s it dove,” he pushed in, inch by inch. “Fuck that feels good. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me. You’re all mine. All fucking mine to use and breed and fuck whenever I want.”

If I had been anywhere other than wherever I was, people would surely be breaking down my door to rescue me. But I would shew them away and beg for him to continue. He was right. Fuck he felt good inside me. I don’t know how he fits. But then he kept going. And he kept pushing. 

“Look at you, taking my cock like it’s nothing. You look so fucking pretty, my little dove. Fuck yourself on it. Fuck me like the useless, hopeless little creature you are. Maybe if you do a good job, your predator will let you go so he can hunt you again.”

My body was his at that moment. It wasn’t my own to begin with. He had full command over me. And I was happy to let him. I rocked back on my knees, my aching nipples brushing against the floor every time I did. 

The noises were obscene; from our breathless pleas to his cock slipping in and out of my thoroughly soaked pussy… it was the most sinful symphony I had ever heard. 

With earnest I rocked into him until he took over. One hand fisted in my hair and he yanked me up. I couldn’t be bothered to use my arms to help, I let him do all the work. His other hand brushed to where we were connected and over my clit. 

I had already come twice, I didn’t know if I could a third. But he was going to make me, whether I wanted to or not. Just. like. He. Said. 

The sound of our bodies echoed off the walls around us. He cursed deep in his chest while I had the breath fucked out of me. I had to catch myself when he threw my head down so I wouldn’t smack my nose off the stone. He hauled my ass into the pocket of his hips and hovered over me, forcing his body to align with mine. 

His now bare chest was flat against my back, hard muscle contracting as he angled his pelvis into mine over and over. It was a brutal, erotic pace. His promise rang in my head: all fucking mine to use and breed and fuck whenever I want.

“Yeah take it you fucking whore. Take what your master is giving you,” his voice was distant in my ears. His nails scraped groves in the skin of my back, and I let go. I screamed. the tears came and didn't stop. All those emotions– fear, dread, desire– making their way to the surface and erupting as I came again. For a third time. “Fuck, my dove. Again? Gods you are such a slut for my cock. You love this. Being used by me. You’re fucking nothing without my cock to fuck. You were born for me to fuck this tight cunt of yours. To breed.”

I don’t know if my orgasm ever stopped or if they just kept rolling over into the next. 

“My pretty cunt to use. Mine. All fucking mine, isn’t it? Say it dove, who does this body belong to?”

“Y-You, master,” I strangled out through cries and breaths. “It’s all yours, my master.”

His hands crashed down on my shoulders and pinned me to the floor so I wouldn’t move. I wouldn’t move even if I could. And I don’t. I want to stay right here, head far away from all my daily responsibilities as he pounds into me. 

My master’s hips were ruthless. Every pump of his body into mine set my skin on fire. I had never felt pleasure, or pain, quite like this before. I’d never be the same again. He forced me to change to him. And I couldn’t ever change back. There was nothing I could do to stop him from breeding me. And I didn’t want to stop him. 

“F-Fuck, my dove. I’m gonna breed you. Fuck it so deep inside you’ll never have a chance. Ready?”

“Yes yes yes yes yes,” I was incoherent. “Please, master. Fuck me so goooood.”

The noise that came out of him should have terrified me. But it didn’t. He let out a snarl so deep it rattled my bones, rattled the table and the floor with the force of it. I could feel his release inside me, but his hips never slowed. The nails on his fingers caught my skin and ripped it. I’m sure it’ll look like I was attacked by a wild animal in the morning. In a way I was. 

He was feral, snarling and snapping behind me. It was either sweat or saliva that dripped onto my back. 

It went on for a little longer, and then he forced his cock farther than it had pierced a new part of me that I hadn’t ever felt before. I couldn’t tell up from down, right from wrong in the next several minutes as he fucked into me, pushing and pushing and pushing as much of himself as he could into me. I went completely limp and he landed on top of me. 

His warm body was shaking above mine, sweat soaking into my skin. 

Neither of us spoke, neither of us moved. 

When he stirred, he pulled out, making me feel impossibly empty while he rolled me on my back. Then it was back in, and I sighed contently. 

“Would you look at that,” his voice cracked slightly. “My pretty dove has entered a true in between state. You can’t decide what to feel, can you?” The male's hand gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. I could barrel keep my eyes open anymore, and he let out the cruelest sound I’ve ever heard. “Such a worthless prey. You can’t even speak you're so enthralled with me. What a sight to see.” It didn’t even occur to me that we had never kissed until this instant. His lips were warm and hurried as they claimed mine. I melted into it, especially when he curled his tongue over mine. He moved his hips steadily as he did, drawing in and out a few times before he stayed put. 

I was so many things– ruined above all of them. I didn’t know if I would walk again, if I’d be able to see a dahlia in the garden and not be instantly transported back to these memories. 

Here I was, spent and limp, still at his mercy. And despite the moral side of me, begging me to be disgusted and horrified… I wasn’t. And I wasn’t guilty about it either. I should be, absolutely should be mortified by this whole thing. Yet I wanted- no, I needed it to keep going. To be taken at any point and whisked away from life to be played with. To be hunted. 

It would be a secret I’d take to the grave. Not anything I’d tell anyone. I would keep this between me and the fucking devil. No one else could know how much I craved to be stripped of my rights and dignity. 

I was moved, despite my protests, and hauled over a shoulder. That same suffocating shadow filled me once more and then the stars said hello. With what little energy I had left, I lifted my head off his shoulder and peered around. My meadow greeted me. The bugs and all there too. 

The male slid me off his body and laid me down in the grass. I had also become dressed at some point, my dress put back together. 

“You are free for now, my little prey. But I will find you again, and I will hunt you down no matter where you run to.”

I nodded up at him, a delightful smile on my lips. With a breeze from the crisp autumn air, he was gone, one with the shadows again. I laid there for a moment, not really having a ton of memories of what just happened. All I knew was that I had this ache in my body that filled me with satisfaction.

____

The stars twinkled above me as I pushed to a sitting position, waiting for a while for my mate to come get me. With a mighty beat of his wings, he landed in front of me, that feral look in his eyes gone since we left that underground room. 

“Let’s get you home, my love,” he smiled sweetly, sweat still curling the ends of his hair. I reached my hands up and he gently pulled me to my feet. “I love you so much, Yn. So so much. It was perfect.”

“I know,” I smiled up at him. “I was pretty good.”

“Are you hurting?” I gave him a look that said ‘yes, you idiot, of course I’m hurting’. “Okay yeah stupid question. Let’s go clean you up and then we can soak in the tub and go to bed. I’m sorry if I-” “Shh,” I curled right into his chest when he lifted me up, kissing the side of his neck. “I didn’t safeword, did I?” “Well, no but that doesn’t mean-”

“Yes it does. I may have been under, I may have been afraid, but I was aware. It was everything I could’ve imagined.”

“You’re sure?” he asked again.

I nodded, slurring my words with sleep. “ ‘mm sure. Can we go home now?” “Of course. You are everything I could ever ask for. Thank you for doing that with me.”

“You’re very welcome,” I chuckled.

~~~~~~

[This is just a little bit of background building and the initial conversation between the reader and Azriel about the roleplay. I didn't add it in the beginning because I thought it might break the illusion. Feel free to read or not!]

Azriel had parts of him he was ashamed of. Things he’s done in the past that he is most certainly not proud of, but have become a vital part to who is and why he is that way. There’s nothing that can change those parts of him, not even his mate.

When the two of you first met, it was a thing of the universe. Completely unintentional. You had been delivering a bouquet of flowers from your shop in Velaris; they were the finest ghost orchids and water lilies grown in the Court. A simple pen error on your note card sent you to two houses over from the one that was supposed to receive them.

When you knocked on the door, your heart began to strike faster in your chest. It was an odd feeling to say the least. The door opened and a male answered the door. He had black hair and had the most captivating eyes you’ve ever seen. His voice was like silk when it hit your ears.

“Can I help you?” He asked, folding his arms across his sculpted chest. He was dressed down; a simple shirt and combat pants and boots. 

It took a moment for you to conjure up a response. “I have a delivery. For… Sherion?”

“They live two houses to the left.”

“Oh,” you sighed out, looking back at your card. Surely you had written down the right address, or maybe they accidentally gave you the wrong house number? The row of houses stretched far around the bend of the street, it wasn’t the most impossible thing. “Well, sorry to bother you. Thank you for your help, sir.”

“Azriel,” he introduced, stretching out his hand. 

“Yn,” you replied, offering the male a smile before you stepped down onto the sidewalk. “Enjoy your day!”

Azriel had no idea why he answered the door. Him and his High Lord were in the middle of a very important Court discussion and before the words were even out of Rhysand’s mouth, he was up and moving to answer it. 

And there you were. Standing right in front of him. This small, utterly defenseless faerie, compared to him. You looked so wonderful. That was the only word he could think of: wonderful. You looked enjoyable to be around and comforting. There was a calm to your aura that instantly soothed the roar of the shadows in his ears. 

You looked like everything he wasn’t. You were smooth and soft and unburdened by the weight of your past. Azriel was exactly that. Burdened. Solid. A bastard born Illyrian who had grown up in the cruelest way. Nothing about him was loving. Sure he loved and protected his brothers and the rest of his Court, but he hasn’t ever had one soul all to himself. To love and cherish and spoil with the part of him he didn’t let anyone see. But if he could ask you to give him a chance, he wouldn’t ever take it for granted. 

How he managed to keep his cool, he’ll never know, but as soon as the door shut, he leaned against it, fingertips filled with static as he closed his eyes. He knew that feeling. The one he had with Mor all those years ago, with Elain. But now it was crystal clear. The other ones had been clouded by hundreds of years of rejection. Not this. 

It had taken him a few days to find you, which wasn’t hard. He told Cassian first, who more or less shouted it across the room for Rhysand to hear. The both of them encouraged him to speak with you, to get a better idea if there was any type of bond at all on your end. 

Azriel couldn’t tell when he met you, he brain was too busy being turned to mush by your beauty and grace.

But, eventually, he wandered into your shop at the end of the business sector of Velaris. It was cute, and had your scent all over it mixed in with the calming presence of fresh flowers and other plants. 

The door opened with a chime and he stepped in. The first thing that happened when he shut the door was he knocked over a pot behind it. It shattered on the floor, and he let out a curse.

“Shit,” Azriel whirled around, wings clattering into some windchimes hanging in the window. They fell, thankfully they didn’t break, but they did make a jarring noise. “Cauldron boil me.”

“What is going on?” Your voice rang over the chaos at the front of the store, and when you appeared, your eyes settled on Azriel, and he looked around at the mess he made. 

“I am so sorry, Yn. I didn’t see the pot behind the door and then these things,” Azriel sneered at the windchimes, “came down with it all. It’s a disaster, please, let me help clean it up.”

He watched you look from the pot, to the chimes, to the dirt on his wings. You laughed, so hard you clutched your stomach as you looked at the wary Illyrian.

“It’s okay, sir. It’s not a big deal. I have about a thousand pots in the back that are just laying around.”

“Then let me pay for it, and any of the chimes that I broke,” he tried to smooth his face into anything other than bitter self-resentment, but he probably did a poor job. 

“Nonsense, it was an accident. And I guess I could make my shop a little more accessible to those with wings. It’s not every day that we have Illyrians here.”

The fact that you were willing to rearrange things in your store to accommodate him made his heart swell. Surely there was a blush to his tan skin when he rubbed the back of his neck. 

Azriel couldn’t help but notice the clay smothering your hands, bits and pieces stuck on your face and in your hair. You wore working overalls and a long sleeve striped shirt. The ends of your pants were cuffed and your boots were laced all the way up. 

He thought you looked adorable. Utterly adorable and he just wanted to cherish you. 

You had similar thoughts about Azriel. That he was devastatingly handsome and outrageously gorgeous. Tall, dark hair, and lighter colored eyes. They were a perfectly crafted shade of hazel. The Mother took her time with this one.

You cleared your throat, trying not to blush at your obvious staring. “Is there something I can help you find?”

It took him a second to shake his thoughts together, “Yes, I did come here to buy flowers. Not to destroy your property.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you. “What are you looking for?”

“In all honesty I am not really sure. I’m trying to make a gesture, of sorts.”

“I see,” you nodded, looking over your shoulder. “Roses are always romantic, but a little over done in my opinion. There’s always succulents too, everybody always forgets about those guys. They make lovely gifts, are low maintenance, and more difficult to kill.”

“Interesting,” Azriel nodded along. “What about these?”

“These are wild bouquets. They are grown in the Hills, just field flowers but they look stunning all put together. A lot of them are imports from other Courts, brought here long before Prythian was Prythian. They grow freely in the plains and farmland.”

“Do they all have their own names or are they all just classified as wildflowers?” Azriel couldn’t have given a less of a fuck about what they were classified as, he just enjoyed hearing you talk about something you were obviously passionate about. 

You looked at him like a normal person, not at the scars on his hands or the wings over his shoulders. He wasn’t sure what to think of it all. You didn’t fear him, which was odd enough, and you didn’t avert your eyes. It was like you didn’t know who he was, which was going to be hard to believe. But if, by some miracle, you didn’t, he would be grateful. So so grateful. 

“Yeah, these are lavender, baby breath, candy fruit, blue flax… whatever is blooming is picked and wrapped up. These are just seasonal, there aren’t too many flowers that bloom wildly in Velaris outside of spring and summer, and even then it’s difficult to grow without a greenhouse.”

“I see, I see,” the Illyrian said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’ll grab one of those then. And one of those succulents you were talking about.”

With a clap of your hands, you snatched up a fuller set of wildflowers and set them on the counter by the register. On a shelf beside a display of pots and vases, you looked around before finding a great candidate. It was in a lovely array of echeveria in a triangular prism. 

“Will that be all?” You asked, typing in the total and showing him. 

“Yes,” he nodded once, handing you a palm-full of coins. “Please keep the change.”

“But- I don’t understand, this is twice the amount of the total cost?”

“I broke one of your lovely pots, it’s the least I can do.”

“You know I could rehydrate that, throw it again and make the exact same one in less than an hour, right?”

Azriel blinked. “Then consider it a shop donation.”

You looked from the change in your hand, to the man in front of you, back to the change. “I won’t be able to get you to take this back, will I?”

“No,” Azriel smirked, taking the flowers and succulent off the counter. “Thank you for your kindness, Yn.”

“Yours as well, Azriel.”

______

When it came time to close down the shop, you hauled in the signs outside advertising the sale for the day. You wiped the counters and swept the floors, fixing a few things on the chimes that got knocked over earlier. As you locked up, there was a rush of air behind you, making you jump.

“Mother above!” you shouted, clutching your chest when Azriel stood behind you. “What are you doing here?”

Azriel didn’t say anything as he tucked in his wings, extending the bouquet he bought just hours ago to you.

“Oh, did you need to exchange them? I can run back inside and get you a new one if-”

“They’re for you, Yn,” he said. “I was hoping to catch you as you were leaving to ask if you’d like to come have dinner with me?”

With a sparkle in his eye, a smirk on his lips, it was pretty hard to say no. Not that you wanted to say no anyway. It was pretty obvious that both of you were attracted to each other, in more ways than one. You were worried that it had been one sided. 

And that was how it all started. One silly little typo of an address led you to the most devoted, selfless, and understanding male you could’ve asked for. Azriel could do it all. It took a while to get to that place, but it happened. It took a while to gain his full trust, but once you did, there wasn’t an area of his life you didn’t know about and admire.

He was so brave. So tenacious and powerful. Not to mention all of the other lovely physical aspects you learned about. Every aspect of your relationship was stunning. So rich and enjoyable. Every day was truly a new adventure with Azriel and the rest of his family; not to mention how awesome everyone else had been. Well, mostly everyone. Nesta and Amren were a little hard to crack, but Cassian, Feyra, and Rhysand quickly became some of the most important people in your life. 

As time went on, more and more things were revealed between the two of you. The mating bond clicked and it was like taking a first breath all over again. It was over stimulating, in an unexplainably pleasant way. 

Being able to feel, to hear everything the other was thinking was an experience you wouldn’t ever grow tired of having. 

Azriel was tender, as tender as he knew how to be with you. He did a lot of learning from you on how you wanted to be loved, and vice versa. Azriel was complicated, but that didn’t make him unlovable by any means. It only made you love him more, just so he knew that he could be. 

He wasn’t pushy about getting you into his bed, but you certainly didn’t mind taking that leap at one of the first hints. If his beauty was an indicator of just how thorough he was, boy were you in for a rude awakening. 

He was flawless between your legs. So calculated and willing to give. But you quickly learned there were other sides to him you wanted to explore. 

It started slowly, calling him ‘sir’ here and there to get a rise out of him. Which only leads to him asking you to try new things with him. You had always been a ‘why not try everything once’ kind of person. Extending beyond the bedroom. Azriel never pressured you to do something you didn’t want to, and there was almost nothing that he suggested that you rejected. 

From a little bit of bondage to taking you in other areas of the House, it started slow, and then progressively got more and more intense. More real domination and exploration. The list of things that turned you on was growing rapidly thanks to him.

One day, while the two of you were sitting in your home, it was clear there was something on his mind. 

____

READER POV

I watched as Azriel adjusted himself in his chair for the fifth time in ten minutes. He was squirming and outright fidgeting. 

“Okay, what is going on with you? I’ve never seen you like this before.” I paused my flower arrangement and sat down in front of him. 

Azriel wouldn’t meet my eyes. 

“Love, what is it?”

He let out a sigh, deep and heavy and full of something he clearly didn’t want to speak about. “I was just thinking… It's nothing important. I don’t want to ask it of you anyway.”

“Why not?” I furrowed my brows. “You know there isn’t anything you could say to me that would make me cower.”

“That’s exactly what I want.” Your breath caught in your throat. Azriel shook his head, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ve had this- this fantasy of you for a long time and it is something so dark and outright dangerous that I’ve been afraid to ask.”

A chill spread down my spine when he looked at me. Those eyes meant trouble; whenever we roleplayed, he got this look, this look, when I disobeyed him. It could’ve crumbled anyone to their knees. But me? It lonely lit me on fire. 

“Azriel, tell me.” 

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. You know I will not judge you,” I stressed, swinging a leg over his lap, laying my hands over his shoulders. “I promise.”

His hands found my thighs, which he rubbed to soothe himself. He took in a deep breath before he spoke. 

“Do you remember when we went to Summer? After the wedding?”

That was totally not what I was preparing for. “Yes? Of course I do.”

“Well, when Tarquin let us into those fields, and you were just picking flowers… I couldn’t help but think about how delicate you looked. You looked so peaceful and alone and I couldn’t stop thinking about how vulnerable you were. How easy you would be to overpower with your back turned. You’d be defenseless and- gods I sound ridiculous.”

“No, no you don’t. Keep going.” “Yn it doesn’t get better,” Azriel clenched his jaw. “I shouldn’t have these thoughts and I know it’s wrong-” “There is nothing wrong with having a fantasy and expressing it to me.”

His eyes were wide, lips parted. Azriel’s grip tightened on your hips. “I wanted to do nothing but force you to take me. To just- completely control you and have my way with you. You looked so innocent and perfect in the sundress and I wanted to ruin it. Ruin you. All over again. But with this animalistic part of me that I’ve never met. And then I just kept thinking about chasing you. Hunting you down and capturing you and tying you up. Fucking you senseless and forcing you to take whatever I wanted to do to you.”

I stared at him. And stared at him again. Fucking fuck… Azriel wanted to hunt me? To do things that most certainly shouldn’t have me writhing against him. He was already hard just talking about doing it. And I definitely shouldn’t have found it so hot. 

He was right, it was a little sick and fucked up, but it was such a thrilling idea. 

Azriel had this presence about him. Everyone he passed on the street was afraid of him. He drank it in. He loved when people were afraid of him. Well, everyone except me. He couldn’t stand the sight of seeing me scared, or at least I thought. 

Images flashed in my mind: of running through the woods, unable to escape him as he chased me. Hunger written all over his face. Azriel effortlessly overpowering me. Forcing me to his hands…

“Oh, I see,” he startled me out of my daydream. Shit, I must’ve sent those images down the bond. “My little dove enjoys that thought, doesn’t she?”

“I don’t dislike it, if that’s what you mean,” I rasped, looking at him through half-hooded eyes. 

“You want me to hunt you, don’t you?”

I shouldn’t nod. I really fucking shouldn’t. But he already had me under his spell, and I could not say no. The idea was so tempting, so profound and beyond anything we’ve ever done that I couldn’t think of anything more exhilarating. It would be terrifying, he would be terrifying, but there would be this primal fear coursing through me… secretly wanting all of it. 

“Say it.”

“I want it, Az.”

“Want what?” He grabbed my chin, forcing my lips apart. “You have to say it, dove.”

My chest rose and fell quickly, already feeling that power of his in my blood. Through the bond. “I want you to hunt me. To capture me.”

Azriel's eyes physically changed colors in that moment. They went dark. Very dark. He bared his teeth, nostrils flaring as he moved his hand to my throat. “I am going to vanish and you are not going to be able to see me coming. I am going to hunt you like the pretty little dove that you are and there isn’t anything you can do to stop it. You can run, you can pray to whatever you believe in, but no one will be around to save you when I come for you.”

I nodded, eyes fixed on his lips. “How- how should I prepare?” Azriel let out a dark laugh, pulling me right to his face. “Oh, my pretty little dove, you won’t be able to. It’ll be so unpredictable that you won’t know what's happening. I’ll even make the bond go dark. There will be nothing loving about what I am going to do to you.”

_______

My hand had already found its way between my thighs on the first night. Thoughts wild with what's to come. Of course I know it’s just Azriel, but I know that it’s not going to feel like Azriel. To look or sound like him. He was going to hunt. Me. And I was going to let him.

[inmyheadimobsessed]

Hi! I'm new here (to the fandom) and I just wanted to say I love how supportive everyone here is. I’ve only seen all you guys, writers & readers alike, show each other such love and interact with genuine support it's so sweet. As a black queer woman, I haven't really felt welcomed in a lot of spaces so I'm SOOOO happy I found this side of Tumblr. I love all of your stories. Okay I'm done now, you're amazing! 🥰

OH EM GEEEE!!! y'all always saying the sweetest things, making a nigga tear up and shit. but welcome to the fandom love, we real friendly and supportive over here! i’m glad you found your way here too! i love my lil tumblr family real bad, like real BAD! some of the most amazing people i've ever met on the innanet fr. creating and maintaining a safe space for black sapphics is my only purpose cause thems my peoples, and i'm so happy that's what it's giving! lemme kiss your forehead right now you precious person! 😚😚

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

all for you

(AU) Eddie Munson x gn!reader.

[a/n] this is based on one of my current favourite songs All for you by In this Moment. As always comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated :) and please let me know if i’ve made any incorrect gendering, i’m not used to writing strictly gn readers so i’m sure i’de made a mistake somewhere (sorry :0 but enjoy!) 

Other works available here!

The seasons come and go,

another night another show,

I step into the light,

knowing we will be alright.

Eddie sighed, a tired smile stretching across his pale skin as he bowed dramatically to the audience Corroded Coffin managed to round up this week at their regular spot, The Hideout. Sweat was dripping down the side of his face lightly brushing upon his hairline, while his frizzy tabacco coloured hair shined in the artificial yellow tinted stage lights that beamed down on the stage and the cheering crowd. The room was practically heaving with people although, Eddie felt rather alone without his best friend present. Usually you would be right at the front with a gleam of awe in your eyes and a dimple showing smile that never faltered to make him fall head over heels in love everytime you flashed it at him. 

This was the first show you had missed since Eddie started his band, always being their number one supporter and secretly his lucky charm, although he would never admit that to your face. While you hadn’t specifically told him you’d ditched him, Eddie being the lowkey sensitive obviously most metal guy in Hawkins, he assumed that you had finally come to your senses and decided hanging out with the almost highschool dropout, barley passing ‘freak’ wasn’t worth your precious time when you had people practically falling at your feet to be seen with you. 

Okay maybe he was exagerrating a little but what could he do? you weren’t his and he had no claim over you, not that you were a possession but you meant everything to him and he was pretty sure he was nothing but a place holder for you. 

Even when i’m far,

you know i'm always there with you.

Eddie wouldn’t say he was petty but well… he was petty. Ever since his last show at the hideout he had not so secretly been avoiding you since you missed his last performance. As well as fearing he would either confess his undying love for you that practically seeped out of his pores every second he was within your presence or simultaneously reck the friendship he’d so carefully built up in the first place, out of fear of you possibly rejecting him first. 

And through his all,

you know that you’re my reason.

In everything I do,

it’s all for you. 

Meanwhile, you had been concerned about Eddie’s apparent change in behaviour, not able to think of a reason why he would be so off with you. The past couple days had been nothing but brief conversations about basic things and secretive longing glances while the other wasn’t looking. You had decided whatever it was he would eventually come around and confide in you like he always had, so you did what you did best, bury yourself in chores and work to keep yourself too busy to even think about your favourite nightmare that was Edward Munson. 

You know that you’re my reason in life,

Its all for you.

The days had gone painfully slowly for you, having done all your due assignments for college, rearranging your bedroom and color coordinating all the colored items you owned, which wasn’t much considering majority of your wardrobe was either black or white, but its the thought that counts. 

Eddie wasn’t any better, deciding to smoke a shit ton of weed to avoid his feelings boiling over and creating a mess he wouldn’t be able to come back from. Wayne had been working long hours at the plant, trying to save up some money to fix up the trailer, too busy to see the inner turmoil Eddie was getting himself into, overthinking and spending way too much time inside his head then was healthy. 

These faces come and go,

and all I do is think of you.

No matter what Eddie did he knew he had to tell you how he felt. It had been a misrable two weeks since he’d seen your smile, since he’d smelt the sweet fragrance of your perfume and felt the gentle touch of your hands upon his body, pawing and poking at him for attention. He’d had an inkling of hope that perhaps you had returned his feelings and whispers through the grapevine solidified this. Hinting that you had been equally as misrable, painfully moping around like a child that had their candy taken away from them. 

That stung. He’d been so wrapped up in trying to protect himself and his feelings that it never occured to him that this would impact you as much as it did. Now he wanted nothing more than to take it all back and wrap you up in his arms forever, whispering declarations of love and all the sappy non-metal shit he longed to do and say. 

I’m on the long road home,

The road that leads me straight to you.

Grabbing his keys and his jacket he legged it to his van, running faster than he had the day he’d managed to snatch up the last Metallica album during the spring of 1986. If he didn’t know it was love before, he definitely would now. Although, it was late he knew you were awake since your bedroom light was shining bright through the gap between your curtains, the window slightly ajar allowing the mellow tune of some random band you’d discovered not too long ago, to drift outside resonating a lullaby to the creatures of the night. 

This caused a faint blush to creep up his cheeks as he imagined you gently swaying to the song, your messy bed hair falling upon your shoulders, ghosting the curve of your jaw and the dip in your neck, an oversized tee that swallowed your body whole yet capturing the perfect aura of you, his first and only love. 

I know it's hard,

I promise you we’ll be alright.

A faint tap on your window caught your attention. The secret code you and Eddie had made up in middle school, ringing in your ears as you vividly pictured his toothy grin he flashed at you when he made it up stating that it was “super metal to have a ‘bro’ code” even though he’d seen some of his classmates have one, he needed something between you that was a statement to your friendship. looking back it didn’t say much but somehow it managed to stick to this day and hopefully beyond. 

Before you could even think of what to say to him after the past couple weeks of radio silence, Eddie strided over and grabbed your face and guiding his lips to yours, no words needing to be said, yet a silent recognition of consent buried within your longing eyes. You both knew this was a long time coming and after years of pining and not so platonic touches, the universe finally allowed you two to simple be. The kiss was a beautiful mess of passion, lips clashing against each others and hands grabbing at each other to get as close as possible.

As if the plug had now been pulled, there was no stopping the outright affection that pulsed between the energy you two had intertwined. A warm fuzzy feeling rising from your lungs as the two of you parted, a small whine unshamedly leaving your lips before he drew his forehead to rest upon your own. 

This was the start of a new chapter for both of you, a long one that had twists and turns yet never ending and always managing to bring you back together.

And through this all.

You know that you’re my reason,

in everything I do,

It’s all for you.

You know that you’re my reason,

in life.

It's all for you.

[lilskzlove]

•daddy tales•

seventeen/eighteen ~best person~/nineteen

summary: you and chan used to date. those were good times, but it ended in a horrible way. and a lil bean called jake was always there for you when you were down. you and chan tried to stay good friends and everything was going well…until your life flipped upside down. maybe he was never the one for you in the end…

warnings: language, alcohol consumption, little of aggression

a/n: i’ve decided to make it a written part bc this situation with chan was missing action, but i hope you like it🫶🏻

tag list:

@starjane312 ❣️ @hyunniecrush ❣️ @thiefyeonjun ❣️ @obssessed-and-depressed ❣️

as your hand was about to lose contact with jake's soft skin you heard a loud knock on the front door. jake threw his phone on the bed and jogged up to the door to check who was disturbing your precious time. you couldn't see him anymore, but you heard him unlocking the door and some muffled sounds reached your bedroom.

"who is it jakie?!" you yelled through the apartment.

"no one. they are leaving now." jake said, but something was telling you to go there and check if everything's okay so you got your pregnant self up with the rest of your energy and waddled to the hall. and there he was, standing in your doorway, one hand on a frame and a bottle of alcohol in the other.

"chris, what are you doing here? it's late." you crossed your arms on your chest and stared him in the eyes from the distance.

"yn, baby, please come back to me." he whined trying to pass jake who was blocking him from going inside. you stepped back looking at jake.

"hyung, it's late and you're drunk. i asked you to not disturb yn now. she can't be stressed now." blond boy tried to make him step back so he's as far away from you as he can, but chan slapped his hand off of his shoulder with anger.

"who the fuck do you think you are? little baby boy that yn feels sorry for since you've been liking her for so long. she's going to dump you the moment she gives birth to MY BABY. she knows better than to raise a child in a broken family." chan could barely keep himself on his own feet. his words didn't affect jake, he knew better than that.

"chan, you either leave now or i will call the police. it's 10 pm for fuck sake. stop causing a scene and sober up. i'm not going to talk to you when you're like this." you came up to the door and stood behind jake.

"baby, go to the bedroom, i'll handle it, okay?" he looked at you with a worried expression. you shook your head and moved your attention to chris again. he looked miserble, his hair were dry, face pale and he had his wrist support on as if he was working too much.

"look what you've done to yourself. you look like a disaster. you're drinking again. you can't even think straight. i told you to talk to me when you grow up. is this growing up in your opinion? becasue for me it looks like you are going down the hill again. chris, you talk shit to and about jake, but he's the one taking care of me. he takes me to every doctor's appointment, he drives me to the store at 11 pm so i can get the cake i really want. he helps me build the nursery, he does everything he can to be the best daddy for a kid that isn't even his. he never turned his back on me. he could've left us the moment i started yelling at him in the middle of the night because he was breathing too loud, but he didn't. do you really think i'm going to dump him when the baby's here? well, you couldn't be more wrong. this man is the most amazing person i've ever met. he doesn't complain. when i need him, he's by my side in a matter of minutes. he's able to drop everything for me. are you able to do it for your child?" tears started streaming down your face, every emotion you've been holding in just flew out. you never wanted to hurt chris, but life's unpredictable. we don't know when we meet our THE ONE. yet you knew that chan wasn't that person.

chris looked down on the floor, eyes full of tears. you've seen him cry so many times. especially when you were still teenagers and his dad was screaming at his little brother. but those tears were different. those tears were disappointment in himself. he started sobbing and dropped to his knees. it was like a movie scene. if you were going with this logic you would’ve came up to him, he would hug your round belly and start apologizing. but you didn't want his apologies. they meant nothing from his mouth at this point. he had to own up to all of his mistakes.

"this conversation is done chris. go home, sober up and think about everything i just told you. if you don't get your shit together, you're not coming near YOUR child. am i clear?" you wiped your tears angrily with your sweater.

"yes ma'am." he spoke softly and got up. "i'm sorry jake. i shouldn't have said all of those things." he stepped out of the apartment.

"hyung, grow up. you have only five months left before your life changes for good. i won't let you hurt yn again. this is the last time you step into this place in a state like this. she doesn't deserve it, okay? you know that she's the best thing ever happened to you. just keep thinking this way and everything will work out, alright?" jake put his hand out for chris to shake it. he accepted it grabbing tight.

"i forgot how fucking nice you are." they laughed slightly. chris turned around and left. jake locked the door and quickly came up to you taking you into his arms.

"i love you so fucking much, yn." he said into your shoulder kissing it softly. you pulled him away and looked him in the eyes.

"what did you just say?" big smile creeping onto your face.

"i love you, yn." he presented you his biggest smile and cupped your face. "i love you so much. you don't even know how much you mean to me." you put your hands on his, tears threatning to fall down your face again. you let out a little sniffle and kissed him deeply, yet so sincerly.

"i love you too, jakie." you whispered looking him in the eyes.

[2man222]

Some personal shit I need to write down that’s been bothering me for a a little while. Feel free to ignore.

I’ve been feeling so bottom-of-the-barrel lately like I really want to spend some personal time with this person but they would rather spend time with just about anyone else and they’re only ever interested in spending time with me when people that they like more than me are also around. And they only ever talk with me after like 2am when everyone else has gone to bed and I’m the only other person around. I just want a more personal friendship that doesn’t rely on other friends being around I just want to be seen and appreciated as an individual and not as the least important or enjoyable part of a larger group. I don’t always have the energy for talking to more than one person at a time and I feel comfortable around this person when it is just us in the VC. I feel like I’m also able to be myself a bit more and be funny and enjoyable to be around instead of going silent when I can’t contribute to a group conversation. I don’t understand why they have no issues making plans with other people and having that personal time with them but the second I suggest just talking one on one or watching a movie that I think they would like or playing games because I want to spend time with them but I don’t want to be in a large group call, I just get ignored or I’m given some kind of excuse as to why they can’t spend time with specifically me. There’s just something nice about asking if someone wants to spend time with you and they’re just open to it and appreciate the offer even if they aren’t able to at the time (I feel like often times if people actually want to spend time with you, they will reschedule or assure you that they’ll be around another time). I’m just tired of being treated like some kind of exception friend that isn’t allowed to make any sort of plans cause I’m just not worth the time or something. I understand time is very precious and it’s very difficult to make everyone happy and dedicate your time to everyone. I also understand they aren’t always in a social mood and I’ve been very respectful and accepting of when they say they just want to spend time doing their own thing because I know they can get like that sometimes and I’ve come to understand that a lot more about them. I’m just sad that I’ve just never had the chance to spend personal time with them that wasn’t the result of everyone else going to bed and then them leaving the call shortly after. They won’t let me make any sort of plans with them and it makes me feel repulsive. It hurts when I send messages and certain things I send are selectively ignored and I get short and cold responses back when they don’t interact with anyone else like that. And the part that hurts the most is that I’ve been by this person’s side through so much and I’ve helped them through some incredibly difficult personal things they were going through over the last couple years even when things were going terribly for me. EVEN when they were treating me incredibly poorly and lying to me and breaking multiple promises to me a year ago (which they’ve since apologized for and acknowledged that the way they treated me was awful and they’ve been a lot better about that since), I still stood by them and made sure they knew I would still be there for them despite all of that. Even after they would constantly blow me off for this other person they were obsessed with for a year and that other person ended up treated them like shit and completely leaving their life without a word, I was there to support them through that and be a shoulder to cry on. I was always there to offer my help and reassure them that I’m always there for them but lately it just feels like they’ve forgotten about how much we’ve been through together and they just value the attention and support of others a lot more than what I’ve offered and continue to offer. Did they get too used to relying on me for support that now it just doesn’t have any impact and they need to hear it from someone else? Did they get so used to talking to me and hearing my voice in the past that it’s all just white noise now? Why do they have such a hard time saying my name when everyone else’s name comes out so naturally in conversation? Why is it that most days when I say their name, I’m given a hesitant “what” but if anyone else does, they’re over the moon? I really have no idea what happened and I really don’t believe I’ve done anything to warrant being treated the way they’ve been treating me lately (I’ve been told this by multiple of our mutual friends that they seem very unappreciative of my support) but when I bring this up to them, they just tell me “that’s just how I am” even thought I can see as clear as day that’s only how they are with me. They don’t act like this around anyone else. I’m told that I’m over-analyzing things and made to feel like my concerns and feelings aren’t valid and that it’s all in my head. I’m not delusional, I can recognize when I’m overanalyzing a situation and I wouldn’t be feeling like this if there wasn’t truth to it.  I just want things to be simple and enjoyable and I want the opportunity to show this person that maybe I’m worth their time instead of going back and forth on them relying on me when they have no one else left and then when someone other than me finally gives them the attention they’re looking for, they treat me like a last resort. I don’t want to just leave them be and ignore them until they finally “crawl back” for my attention or whatever because that’s manipulative and I would never do that to anyone let alone someone I care very much about. I want there to be a mutual and organic friendship that’s personal and isn’t reliant on other outside factors. I’m sure this seems silly and I know if I’m being treated like this, I just should stop caring as much but I really do care about this person with my whole heart. They’ve been there for me in the past when I was going through some of the worst experiences of my life, they found a friend in me over the person who introduced me to them when that other person ended up completely ditching the both of us, and we’ve shared a lot together and I wouldn’t have gone through all of this effort and heartbreak and spent so many nights crying about how I’m practically worthless to this person most days if I didn’t think they were worth the effort and all the good times we’ve shared in the past. I love this person very much and I would consider them to be one of my closest friends and again I know they would say the same thing about me but lately I really don’t feel like that’s coming back to me in the same capacity when that very much used to be the case. I just miss when my friend loved and appreciated me as much as I love and appreciate them and I’d do anything at this point for them to see me in a better way again but it feels like nothing I do or say to them matters as much anymore and it’s been hurting me so much. I just want things to get better but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say to push things in that direction anymore.

[elxy-x]

life updates, feelings, thoughts, and growing pains.  Chapter 1

hey there. It's really been a time for me and my spiritual growth. I don’t where this path is leading me in life sometimes and it scares the shit out of me. I’ve lost a lot of people that I always thought were going to be in my life, yet here I am still going. The only constants in my life have been God, my parents and my family. But then again, I guess that’s all I ever really needed. I’m really learning how to be whole by myself. Ironic because I am dating someone named: Austin Taylor Gabriel. The name has a good ring to it. I can for sure say that from what I have seen so far I like his mentality on things and he adds to my happiness, which I absolutely adore. I still live in a lot of regrets and the guilt sometimes eats me alive a little. This is the consequence of my actions, the best I can do is learn and change for the better. I’ve been having a hard yet, easy time adjusting. I know really know that we never really get to keep anyone in our lives. If we are lucky-- we get to “keep them” at least until they pass away. Some people-- a lot of people really just come and go to teach us lessons, to brighten our days, and make a gloomy day seem like we still have a fighting chance at the perplexing thing called life. Some people grow to be your best friends and stay for life. I am learning to let go with grace, no resentment...it’s ok. Really, it is guys. I realized this is was the most whole I have ever been in my life when 2 of my best friends departed from me. The crazy part is that I was still happy deep down inside when these series of unfortunate events occurred. I can’t sit there and be upset about anything because I see people die every day at work and life is way too precious. I would be doing Mr. Rodgers an injustice or other patients that I work with. I think to myself: “if they can still smile and they are bed bound-- essentially. chained to a bed, then who the hell am I to not live my life to the fullest? I have to live my life happily and to the fullest, for God, me, and lastly to the people that can’t anymore. I am still fighting my demons every day, but it’s going really well. I am 37 days sober and I don’t really miss the alcohol which is weird. 

Chapters 1 and 1/2 

I have met a wonderful human being at a very strange time in my life. Right when I was done with relationships and trying to make things work. He goes by the name of Austin Taylor Gabriel. He is absolutely incredible. He is very caring, humble, funny, super goofy, and is always willing to try new things for me. “Hell was the journey, but it bought me heaven.”  Come to think of it now, if I would have met Austin any sooner I don’t think I would have cherished the connection as much as I do know. I went through so much shit and trials and tribulations and was about to just give up on the idea of finding someone that it made me appreciate finding someone like him. He’s very different for sure. Last weekend it was spent together with him, I danced with him in his living room ( country dancing to be exact). It was magical like I had met him before already. He’s the best buddy that I never had in a significant other. We both feel the same way. he asked me out at his house on March 2nd around 11pm or midnight. Shortly after....well you know how it goes. We had sex to Taylor Swift in the background, her folklore album to be exact. And let me tell you. That. Shit.Was. Magical. Everything about it. Also, this is the 3rd time I’ve had sex with Taylor Swift on in the background. Its my guilty pleasure. Things are easy with Austin, super easy. We think a lot alike and respect each other much. The first flower that he bought me were sunflowers, although they were rather dead lol, and he bought me journals and beautiful pens so that we could get to know each other.   He’s very supportive, is always excited to see me, and has beautiful blue, green, gray, teal colored eyes that are my favorite to look at while he is “smitten” looking at me. Austin may have just “came at the right time in life and I am very lucky” per my therapist, but honestly. I want to figure things out for me now. I want to make me happy and be there for my first. For the first time in my life, I am putting me first, learning to say no for my mental health and I'm not afraid to do so. I’ve taken so pictures with Austin at the Photo Booth where I used to all the time, I've decided that its time to make some new memories. Austin is very attentive, gives me my space, is very understanding, and is very attracted to me, haha. I met this man right after I ended things with Josh Beckham, and guys let me tell you this was a blessing in disguise. I haven’t met the new me yet, but I'm sure she would be proud of all the choices and the decisions that I have made. I was getting the bare minimum with Josh and didn’t see it becuase I was told I was being “unreasonable” too “overwhelming” and “too much”, but it was the other way around really. My last words to him were: “Please do not contact me unless you want to make things work. I want to find my husband.” I  And that’s  what I did. I focused on my own short comings, as I still am and here I am. I trust God with all my heart and I don’t know why he’s doing what yet, but I know it will all make sense later for sure. He has never let me down. I find peace now in just being alone....maybe thats why my parents just like being alone...it’s just easier. Spending time alone is one of my favorite things to as of now.  I have picked up new hobbies: running, photography, tennis and biking all coming here soon this summer! Austin will be my new jogging buddy. Cheers to new chapters. 

[balkanradfem]

I realized today that Lindsay Ellis left youtube due to mobbing, and I'm devastated about it. It's terrifying what she was put thru, and how badly it traumatized her. Her goodbye message shows that she got hurt until it broke her, until she regretted everything she had ever done, and has become frightened of other human beings alltogether, not knowing who will turn against her next.

I relate deeply to being isolated and smear campaigned into traumatic fear of people, and I'm enraged that a mob of males managed to do it to her, just because she was a woman with a public voice. Lindsay Ellis was the absolute ideal of liberalism; she was sensitive to every minority, supportive of every pro-liberal propaganda, great supporter of every woke category, contributed greatly with her opinions to every issue liberals fought for. I watched her video 'Mask Off' with bated breath, completely in shock that she had the courage to make it, because it was raw and powerful and brilliant. She apologized for miniscule missteps, and it kept going thru my head, that had she been a male, she would have been considered an absolute icon of progressiveness. She'd be praised as the absolute best, most precious, nuanced and important ideal, proof that males are 'becoming perfect' and 'can do no wrong'. Instead, she was berated over tiny shit males have never been called out in their lives. It made me sick.

She got mobbed because she was a woman with a voice online. Males decided it was not okay for women to get as far as she went in the society, and suffocated her as a threat to any woman who'd dare to try. I looked up the videos of people sharing their thoughts of her leaving, and they were all made by males. Every single one. Not only they did this, but they get to shape the public opinion of it. Disgusting.

It was only in the comments I was able to find people acknowledging how much she has done for the youtube community. She entered the stage of youtube filled with angry male videos, and she provided brilliance, humor, nuance, intellectual analysis, she created a genre of media essays that didn't exist beforehand, and paved the way for many other women to speak and gain public voices. She was the number one in how popular, funny and well-received her videos were. I remember being completely obsessed the first time I found them, I've never seen interesting and educational content like that before. I've learned so much about the ways movies are written, shaped and put together, I've learned more about creating stories than I did anywhere else. I've appreciated and loved her content. I didn't agree with all of it, but I didn't need to, I've benefited from it all the same.

My heart hurts that I couldn't do anything for her in return, that I've done next to nothing to support her when she was getting torn into pieces by the mob. It confirms her horror and pain about how people turn their back on you as soon as you lose popularity.

I want to know if there's any way we can organize to protect women when this is happening to them. I don't want to see another woman chased out of public space because she dares to speak her mind. I don't want to leave another woman who helped, taught, encouraged, and benefited others, to be unprotected against an angry mob intent on traumatizing her. I don't want to see this happening to my favourite women online, and I want to know what we can do.

[retroaria]

COTTAGECORE READER

cc: karl jacobs, georgenotfound, sapnap, quackity, dream, wilbur soot, nihachu

pronouns: i’ll say she/they for these, the only time i make it female is when using the word “princess” in sapnaps section

warnings: just swearing

here’s my masterlist :]

a/n: i don’t know much about cottagecore but i tried my best !!

karl:

def the most excited about it

will go on walks through fields and forests with you anytime just ask and he will be there

loves baking different kinds of sweets with you

shows off all the flower crowns and other cute little things you’ve made for him on stream all the time. he’s just so proud and happy to have such an adorable partner

will let you put whatever plants you want around the house and outside. it was never something he thought of doing before, but he loves thinking of you every time he comes home and sees the beautiful sunflowers and rose bushes on the front lawn :3

george:

is very intrigued by it

asks you questions about different things in nature all the time like butterflies and bees and flowers and mushrooms

he’s a big fan of the sweet and delicate look of how you dress, thinks it’s so cute and almost dream like ya know

loves when you bake for him. literally will eat anything you make and talk about how good it was forever

thinks it’s so cute how obsessed you are with his characters whole mushroom thing

will have you on stream with him while he remakes the cottage house on the smp so you can help decorate and add your own little touches

sapnap:

is very indifferent on it but still thinks it’s adorable

if you were to bring him home fresh picked flowers one day he would literally cry like, did he really want flowers that much? no, the thought didn’t even cross his mind but holy shit is it the cutest thing he has ever witnessed

“yeah babe those flowers are really pretty...oh wait...they’re for me....seriously like...you got these...for me?🥺”

overall thinks the style is so gorgeous he feels like he’s dating a fairy princess and he wouldn’t ask for anything else

has officially crowned you “The Princess of Kinoko Kingdom” AHHH literally so cute

dream:

will literally buy you a mini cottage that you can put in his backyard and grow all your plants there and have fresh fruit and whatever else you want

dream gives supportive vibes so he def wants you to embrace this part of your personality to it’s fullest

loves helping you bake and if you convince him hard enough he might get out of bed and go on walks with you

lets you take patches outside to hang out with you in the garden and then he takes pics for twitter which the fans obviously think is the cutest thing ever cus it is :3

quackity:

AHHHH

is just so enamored by it

thinks it’s so cool and adorable and literally just precious

begs you to make him flower crowns and although you can see his hair with them on he had to put them on over his beanie to show stream and he looks so silly lol

will go on picnic dates with you :]

big music guy so he obviously loves when you give him music recs of like dream pop and softer stuff, literally loves it so much

wilbur:

it’s quite the nice contrast to his style actually

will let you dress him up more like your aesthetic just for fun

ends up actually liking some of the stuff and talks about the new experience on stream

also wears your flower crowns on stream duh

“chat, look at these things y/n made. they’re flower crowns!! aren’t they just the cutest things you’ve ever seen. ugh they’re so talented”

gave one to phil lol (he loves it btw :3)

niki:

SHE LOVES IT SO MUCH

wants to try it out herself so you give her lots of tips

you guys go thrifting together and then later try on stream all the stuff you got

you teach her a lot about plants and nature and she is just in such awe of how passionate you are about everything

loves baking with you (baking stream??)

matching strawberry dresses :3

hi, sorry i’ve been gone for so long :((

been having a hard time and just had no motivation but i’m getting back into the swing of things

THANK YOU FOR 400 FOLLOWERS HOLY COW THATS EPIC !!!

i have an event coming at 500 that i’m so excited for so stay tuned 🥳🥳

ALSO MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN AGAIN!!!! SEND ME SOME!!! i still have a lot to get through but i want more fun ideas so feel free so ask for whatever you want but give me some time to get it done :3

@joyfullymulti @fantasy-innit @crackityy @k-l-a-w-s @themanifoldenjoyer

[honey-milk-depresso]

What about our precious Bennett with anyone of your choosing

Oh shit Bennett- that precious boy I- Imma kill that adventurer who said he sucks I swear-

Also stan Razor x Bennett- U-U

While you're mostly someone of good character; always lending friends a helping hand and giving them the best of your support, your luck mechanism sort of ruins the help, and might end up turning the tables on them in a bad way.

Despite all, you're a very optimistic individual, and you look towards the light up ahead of the tunnel. Despite all odds, you push on. And that's what makes you strong.

TWST The unlucky but optimistic s/o (Bennett)

Trey Clover

Never in his life has he ever made a mess in the kitchen,

until he met you.

For some reason, no one did anything, but everything went haywire. Let's just say, you two found some trouble with Riddle, something he didn't expect.

"What on earth happened in here?! Trey!"

"No, no! Riddle, it wasn't Trey's fault..! It's... my fault.. I.. probably started the mechanism again.."

Mechanism? Trey and Riddle would soon realize that whenever you tag along with someone, bad luck would always be on your side with them, and bring the people you're with down.

Trey feels.. sorry. Like, really sorry. It must be hard whenever you try your best to help, only to end up in miserable outcomes.

But you've never gave up. You've never gave up in trying your best to do anything, especially when it comes to being a supportive friend and lover.

And he just can't leave you. Sure, you may bring about taboo for him but, you've never had any ill intentions, he know you can't control your bad luck, and you're just the sweetest cinnamon roll he's ever met, how could he just leave you?

Sometimes, you might be in doubt. Even the brightest of people can't always bring about sunshine to themselves. "Hey, Trey? Why would you still want to be with me.. I've never really brought about anything good, and we've only manage to get out of trouble by our skins.. I'm just really sorry someone as nice as you would have to go through all this because of me..."

Trey simply takes your hand, and uses his thumb to rub it in soothing circles.

"You've always been my charm, s/o. I wouldn't trade the world for you." <3

Jade Leech

He can't understand.

He's messed up so badly.

Ever since you worked in Monstro Lounge, and he was instructing you, everything drowned into chaos. And this time, it was somehow you and him that seemed to start it. Not Floyd.

The drink glasses were scattered every where, plates were broken and there quite a handful of unhappy customers.

"Jade?! You don't usually mess up your duties like this! What in sevens happened???"

"Ah! Wait, Azul! I.. well- um- it's hard to explain but- none of this was Jade's fault. It's mine! I.. probably started all this because of my whole bad luck seeping through the situation.... sorry.."

What bad luck? Apparently, it's happened to you since young. All the time when you're with someone, luck would never be on your side, and would potentially bring about hefty troubles to many.

How unfortunate, aiyah~

While Azul doesn't really know how to help you, making a potion to ease the bad luck might be something very advanced-

Jade would look out for you.

As much as you're always bringing about bad luck, you can't control it, he knows. And you have always been the sweetest little angelfish who tries your best to help him, like a true lover. Oh, such a sweet little thing you are, he can just eat you up~ Not literally, don't worry, darling-

But he would always be by your side, no matter how bad of the situation you make. He doesn't mind. It can be rather entertaining as each problem that arises is very unexpected; the way he likes. All sorts of drama can take place, and it can somehow be all resolved in the most peculiar ways by you. How fascinating~

" Jade? I was wondering... why won't you leave me? Not to say I don't like being with you! Trust me..! I really do! But.. well... am I not a problem for you to deal with?? I feel bad you're in all the troubles I stir up because of my mechanism..."

He only chuckles softly, gliding his finger on your locks as he traces and pushes it to the back of your ear. "My sweet angelfish. How could I ever leave someone who has brought me so much color in my life now, hmm?~ I could never leave someone as sweet as you~" <3

Malleus Draconia

Malleus.. doesn't quite know how to feel. But he was very much surprised.

He... well... his magic had somehow went out of hand, and now burnt paper were spiraling around the two of you, as some burnt parts of the paper became ash littered on the cobblestone floor of his room.

Lilia seemed to have stepped in with a surprised look on him as well, slightly amused by what has happened.

"Oh my~ What seemed to have happened in here?"

"Ah! Lilia-senpai! Oh no... I'm so sorry! Malleus and Lilia! None of this is anybody's fault except my own! I... I guessed I've activated the mechanism without caution again..."

What is this mechanism you speak of? Your mechanism apparently brings about bad luck to those around you, and might cause some havoc if you aren't cautious to your surroundings... though, sometimes you the mechanism can activate at any given time..

Malleus could help reduce such of the situation considering his vast knowledge of magic can help in anything.

But then again, that bad luck is natural, the best he can do is reduce it and make sure you aren't harmed.

To Malleus, there's nothing wrong with you.

You have always been supportive and kind towards him, and you've been the sweetest friend and lover for him that he could throw that bad luck of yours out of the window. You have always been the optimistic sunshine in his life who have always seen the best and worse in him and still stay by his side to care for him the best you can. It's the thought that counts

He can reduce such, but solely for the purpose of keeping you safe, and prevent such hazards that can harm you.

"Malleus, someone like you... shouldn't.. well- your the greatest wizard of them all! And I'm... just someone with extremely bad luck.. hehe... I'm not sure what I can even do for you.."

Malleus only places a hand to cover both of yours, he looks at you with a gentle gaze before softly replying, "You have given me all the love and happiness in the world. I should be the one wondering why I have someone as great as you. But.. perhaps, I've seen the both of us being a perfect fit for one another. Nothing can take over your place of being first to come to my mind" <3

[was-there-ever]

I literally don’t have enough amazing things to say about the newest (as of posting this) tour of Cats. I could gush about this show for hours on end if anybody let me 😭💔

I was lucky to catch a matinee, and unlucky that it had a screaming/crying child (who wasn’t removed for some reason???) making noise the entire time but that couldn’t ruin the experience for me even if it was highly annoying (I’m all for kid’s seeing shows, especially Cats, but if your child is crying… leave???)

Anywayyyyy this is just a mismash of random thoughts I had/moments I noticed that stuck out to me because once again I’ve become overcome by this wonderful magical show:

Zach Bravo’s Tugger

I ironically followed Zach on TikTok way before he was cast as Tugger and started giving us the best content in the world (shout out to my fellow Star Wars fans haha) and boyyyyyyyy did he deliver on all the Tuggoffelees gayness and the Munku/Tugger sibling content he’s been teasing us with!!!!!

He and Misto fully “kissed” (rubbed their cheeks/faces together) after Mr Mistoffelees and I don’t think I’ll ever recover I was beside myself

Another little thing I noticed and loved was how expressive he was during the Pekes and the Pollicles? He was mesmerized by it in a way that gave me the vibe he’d never heard the story before and/or had never seen Gus perform is and was super excited about it?? I normally hc post-revival Tugger as younger than he’s usually viewed (closer to kitten than full adult) and that fit in SO WELL

Plus the man is expressive to the MAX when he’s in the background of scenes, he’s constantly on the ball (like the rest of the cast, god bless them) and reacting to things around him PERFECTLY in character to my absolute delight

Everything Else (if I list everything by character this post will be even longer than it already is)

Munkustrap and Demeter have a cute little moment together during the “romantical cats” line at the beginning where he sort of reverently takes her hand and it was SO CUTE

Tugger being a little shit to Munkustrap at every single opportunity

Tugger being BI AS HELL was so incredibly validating and I can’t count how many times he flirted with both queens AND toms

Griz looking genuinely shocked (almost stopped/stumbling and Munk immediately moving to help her start moving again) when she realizes where she’s being led to and that she’s been chosen (plus her hesitation and slight fear stepping onto the steps before she looks forward hopefully as she’s carried away) was just SO in line with how I see her as a character I was in awe

Skimble. Nothing crazy to say, I just think he’s neat 🥰

Macavity looking genuinely freaked out when he couldn’t “control” the other cats anymore (right before he busts the power cables) was *chefs kiss* and I know I’ve screamed about Mac so much on here but IMMA DO IT AGAIN

The entire group immediately moving to Munk after they realized Mac was really gone with the most precious looks of concern I’ve ever seen and SOMEONE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW INJURED MUNK IS DURING THAT FIGHT WITH HIS BROTHER AND HOW HE JUST WALKS IT OFF BECAUSE I HAVE FEELINGS

Tugger being a supportive asf boyfriend to Misto, fully eager to put the ENTIRE spotlight on him at all times even though Tugger is Tugger™️ (do not think I missed that fruity little hip thrust after Misto slid through your legs during RTT, Zach!!!!!)

All in all I cried so many times and it was so SO magical to be back at the Jellical ball after so long and I literally can’t even put into words what this show means to me. I mean I literally partly got the courage to come out because of this show (and thanks to the people I met from it) and that will always mean the world to me

There’s always more to scream about but I know @uppastthejelliclemoon wanted to know my thoughts so there you are, darling 😏❤️

[solaeter]

Forever and Always - Gojo Satoru

Crushing doubt sucks, but we’re getting past it (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و slowly of course lol. I recently caught up with jjk and my feels are all over the place ( •⌄• ू )✧ For now take some Gojo fluff I started some time ago and finally got around to finishing.

Word Count: 1,105

Warning[s]: none aside from any possible errors I didn’t check for. fluff and more fluff.

Request Status: OPEN

Satoru Gojo never intended to love anyone. He was a considerably busy man with being the strongest sorcerer, he often had his hands tied doing this or that. 

What he didn't expect, like at all was falling flat on his face in love. It didn't come over night, but rather over time and he couldn't fight what his heart wanted. The yearning nearly took him out, clouded his head space until he actually got frustrated and acted out on impulse. 

That impulse decision changed his life. For the better of course. Satoru found a special type of solace, something that only you could make him feel. The experience altered how he viewed things, made him reevaluate some priorities and gave him something to protect with his life. In the beginning it felt kind of daunting, like it might have been too much for him to handle. Yet, you and that damn, precious smile made those wandering thoughts vanish immediately. 

The biggest kicker though, you were just an ordinary person. No cursed energy surged through your body, just an unwavering amount of love and support. Satoru used to view normal people like specs of dirt under his feet. They were beneath him because he was the best. 

Now look at him. Hopelessly in love, chasing after a dream that could shatter at any moment. His act of love put you in danger and he didn't want to stay away. Call him selfish, but goddammit he would protect you until the end of time. No one or anything would lay a finger on you. Satoru was confident, overly confident but it kept his mind at ease. He didn't like imagining worst case scenarios, they never settled well with him. 

"You okay?" 

As if snapping out of a trance, Satoru blinks when you bend in front of him, hand waving in his face. Your innocent eyes show concern and he sits forward, closing the distance between you both.

"Of course, I was just lost in my head thinking about you." He sounded so cheeky and your eyes widened, a light blush dusting your cheeks and he smiled. The effect he had on you, it was like nothing else. 

"Well don't think too hard, you might hurt yourself." You poke at your soon to be husband after regaining your faltering composure, only to end up yelping in surprise when his arms snake around you and pull you against him. Your legs were on either side of him, hands gripping his shoulders while he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck. 

"Mm..that simply isn't possible." Satoru felt so at ease around you, like he could forget about the problems he faced daily and just focus on loving you with his entire being. Did it sound cheesy? Yes. Did he care? Not at all. "Soon you'll be officially mine forever. Doesn't that sound nice?" He casually asked, peppering light kisses along your neck, leading right under your earlobe before he moved back down to start along your shoulder. Your body shivers and you let out an airy laugh. 

“Yes, though I’m still surprised the almighty Satoru Gojo is willing to settle down with a feeble soul like me.” You tease lightly, eyes fluttering shut when his teeth grazed along your collarbone. If someone asked Satoru a few years ago about settling down with one person, he’d make some silly excuse or call the very idea ridiculous. Especially with how the world is and how the jujutsu society relies on him, yet here he is, helplessly in love with you and the mere idea of being without you made his chest tighten.

“You’re far from weak if you deal with my shit on a daily basis.” Satoru makes a jab at himself while moving to look at you once again. He admired the way your cheeks were flushed and how an array of emotions swam in your eyes; love, adoration, humor and an overwhelming sense of tenderness. To be the center of someone’s universe was a feeling like no other. Your lips tug into a small smile, arms loosely wrapping around his neck.

“It’s quite the job, but I love it.” Reassuring as always, you never had a mean thing to say unless it was about a bug or some rude pedestrian in the streets. You’ve made Satoru a better man, he can admit that. He went from being a smooth talker to every breathing woman he met, to only showing you the rare type of love that is still foreign to even himself. He puts others in more consideration than what he already does and always manages to make time for you unless he’s out for work.

That doesn’t mean the relationship is perfect. Far from it. You both have to learn and deal with the distance that comes with his work and the possibilities of him not coming home despite the confident remarks he makes. You’re always worried and sometimes there is no reassuring contact. Plus you’ve had your arguments with Satoru, though most are settled quickly because fighting feels like a rip at the heart. 

“You’re the only one capable of handling me, even when I’m being a bitch. For that, I appreciate it.” Satoru was being oddly sincere, the softness in his mesmerizing eyes taking you by surprise. The usual playfulness couldn’t be seen and you rest your forehead against his. The sentimental moments were like a breath of fresh air, something out of the ordinary.

“Heh, there’s no denying you’re difficult to be around sometimes.” You start and Satoru feigns offense by gasping, always quite the dramatic, “but there’s also no denying that you make me the happiest I’ve ever been. So thank you as well.” You say and not even a moment later his lips are on yours.

Satoru is so soft with you, his hands moving up to cradle your face and you melt. He always had this effect on you, turning you into putty in his hands so easily. You would say it wasn’t fair but you loved it. Your fingers trail up his neck and lace through his pretty locks, keeping him close and he groans into your mouth. The way you clung to him had his head spinning, all thoughts vanishing until there was only you. As it should always be. 

When you both pull back, panting and bearing lovestruck smiles, you lean back to look at the stupid cat calendar on the wall. Satoru follows your gaze and then looks back at you.

“Three more months until our forever and always.”

You couldn’t wait and neither could he.

[carelessannie]

Winterspider, Peter x Bucky, omegaverse, smut, nff, other specific warnings in the tags

For this prompt from @femmeparker

Me: let’s do this, but something kinda different

❤️❤️❤️ I love these two honestly Hope you enjoy!

- - -

There’s not much on the TV. Someone made the mistake of giving Steve the remote, and now everyone is subject to watching each channel fly by at an alarming rate, the only constant sound in the room the rhythmic clicking of the next channel button. None of them complain, though. It’s very rare that they all have a quiet night together, and everyone seems content to watch Steve surf the cable box.

The six of them are spread around Tony’s living room. Pizza is already gone and at any moment Tony or Nat will take away the remote and turn on a movie, but Bucky could care less. He usually sits back and watches from the outside, anyways. He looks over at Bruce, and they share a knowing glance— both of them happy to stay quiet and let the others take the lead.

He could go for a drink, though. Bucky ambles to his feet, offering to grab stuff from the kitchen as he heads there. With his head in the fridge, he sorts through the drink options, gagging dramatically at the thought of one of the fruity wine coolers Tony has tons of. He looks at the bottle, scoffing at the ingredients and alcohol content. Four percent? Why even bother?

“Those are mine,” a sweet voice chirps, and Bucky smacks his head trying to turn around.

“Ow, fu—” Bucky lets the curse die on his tongue as he gets an eyeful of the prettiest boy he’s ever seen, swamped in a university sweatshirt and wearing a playful smirk. He holds out his hand, expectantly, and Bucky stares at it, unsure of what this angel wants.

Deciding to play it safe, he shakes the boy’s hand.

“Bucky,” he says, like an idiot.

The boy just giggles, tightening his grip and tossing his unruly curls, “Peter. And honestly, I just wanted you to hand me a drink— but it’s nice to meet you. I feel like since I’ve been at college, I haven’t been able to meet any of my dad’s friends,” he pauses, giving Bucky an obvious once over, “and I think I would have remembered you.”

Bucky knows his face is glowing red. He clears his throat and pops the top on the fruity drink, handing it over to Peter, “And your dad is?”

Peter takes a sip, “Tony Stark. I guess it makes sense he didn’t mention me.”

Oh, he did. Bucky— like the fool he apparently is— just didn’t realize Tony’s son is only a few years younger than Bucky himself. And drop dead gorgeous. Definitely a no fly zone for ex-assassin, centenarian soldiers with war trauma.

He backs up, heading towards the living room in a hasty retreat, when the air suddenly shifts, catching Peter’s scent, and throwing it in Bucky’s face.

“Oh, shit,” this time he does curse, smacking into the wall as he holds his nose, politely stopping himself from smelling the ripe Omega scent beckoning him closer. “I’m so sorry, fuck, I didn’t realize...”

Peter takes a step closer, placing his drink on the counter. He has Bucky cornered against the wall, and the Alpha has never felt more terrified.

“Shh, it’s okay,” the tiny Omega whispers, no doubt getting a nose-full of Bucky’s fear scent, “you’re not gonna hurt me.”

He watches, helplessly, as Peter steps into his space, his maple-honey gaze wide and pleading. The young Omega wraps himself in Bucky’s arms, burying his nose in Bucky’s chest, and starts to purr deep, soft breaths that shake Bucky to his core.

Not heat— no, not quite— but something very close is burning through Peter’s small body. Bucky realizes he’s supporting almost all of Peter’s slight weight, and searches for a chair. There is no way he’s carrying Peter out into the living room like this.

He must black out for a moment, because the next time he’s aware, it’s pitch black and Bucky’s sitting on the floor, still clutching the Omega to his chest. He looks around, hoping to catch sight of something familiar. Rice. Flour, sugar, Raisin Bran— great. Of course his Alpha instincts would not only den them up, but put them in the pantry. Stupid, practical hindbrain.

There’s movement outside, and Bucky growls, low and menacing in his throat.

“Buck? Are you in there?”

It’s Steve. Another Alpha. Best friend. Threat.

“What?” Bucky snarls, running his fingers through Peter’s hair comfortingly.

Silence for a beat, “Do you... Tony thinks you have his son in there, Bucky. Please tell me that’s not true.”

“He’s safe, Steve.”

The other Alpha curses under his breath, “Dammit, Buck. Okay, let me grab Tony. He’s gonna help.”

Bucky wants to protest, but the Omega in his arms has started gently nibbling on his fingers, holding his hand and sucking on them lightly. He hums his approval, and Peter just smiles sweetly, never once opening his eyes.

“James Barnes, do you have my son in there?”

Tony sounds strained, trying to keep his tone neutral as he paces in front of the door.

“He’s safe in here, Tony.”

“Can you give him back to me, Alpha?” Tony asks, a hint of panic coming through his tone. “He’s unbonded and needs his pack.”

Bucky whines, looking down to memorize Peter’s features in the low light. It’s safe in here, warm and dark and full of food, but Bucky’s instincts insist Peter will be safest with his pack. Dammit.

He stands up, hauling Peter into a princess carry, and slowly opens the door, checking for threats. Tony stands on the other side of the room. His hands are tightly clenched around the countertop, and his face is riddled with worry. Bucky walks slowly to his side, and drops Peter into his waiting arms.

Without the Omega in his grasp, Bucky is suddenly on the verge of tears. Peter whimpers, a painfully sad sound, and Bucky has to retreat before he does something to make this worse. “M’sorry,” he rasps, and turns to head for the door, passing the group of Avengers on the way. Steve tries to lay a comforting hand on his back, but Bucky just brushes it off.

He rifles around the living room, grabbing his phone and wallet, and then heads for the door. As he’s slipping his shoes back on, he feels a painful tug in his chest. Then there’s a loud sob from the kitchen. Bucky’s stuck, frozen, with one arm in his jacket as he listens for more.

A small wheezing noise. Urgent whispers. Bucky’s on his knees. Another sob. Quiet pleading and begging. Bucky curls up against the door, feeling his stomach cramp up. Footsteps approach.

“... don’t think he could’ve gotten far— oh! Barnes, what the hell?”

He barely glances at Clint, “... couldn’t... leave,” Bucky breathes out, groaning as another wave of pain clenches in his gut, tight in his chest.

Bucky’s not sure how long he stays pressed up against the front door. He hears voices around him, but can’t understand them. There’s someone pulling on his arm and picking him up. He tries to protest— they can’t take him away— but suddenly there’s a weight in his arms, warmth against his body, and his nose is firmly pressed into the top of his Omega’s head.

Thank god.

He rolls them slightly, pressing Peter up against the soft wall and hiding him from unwanted gazes. He closes his eyes, letting the comfort of his Omega close by lull him to sleep.

- - -

When he comes to, it’s light outside. Peter is snoring gently in his arms, and Bucky’s head is clear. He sits up, taking in his surroundings. He’s in Tony’s living room and sitting on the largest couch, hovering over Peter’s still sleeping form.

“He imprinted on you, Bucky,” a voice behind him, Tony’s voice behind him, breaks the silence. He turns reluctantly to face the man, an apology already on his tongue.

“Save it,” Tony says instead, drinking from a coffee mug absently, “god knows why, but my kid, my only fucking son, chose you as his Alpha yesterday. I don’t get it. How did you even meet? Temporary mating bonds usually take weeks to form— but yours formed overnight.”

Bucky is speechless, so Tony rambles on, “That is what this is, right? Maybe scent compatibility, maybe his oncoming heat, but my Petey chose the world’s most deadly and unstable Alpha to imprint on. Not only that, but you had to go den him away— basically confirming your side of the bond in the process. You’re a fool, James. Actually, I’m a fool. Thinking you could be trusted—”

“Stop it, Dad,” Peter’s small voice interrupts, and the tiny Omega wiggles out from behind Bucky to stare down his father, “s’my choice. I want Bucky.”

“But why?” Both Bucky and Tony ask, in unison.

Peter just hums, looking up at Bucky with his precious doe-eyes, “Dunno,” he murmurs, addressing his dad while holding Bucky’s gaze, “He feels safe, Dad. His scent is different... calm and gentle.”

“Dammit,” Tony hisses, never taking his eyes off the pair, even as Bucky sways closer, enchanted by the perfect Omega pressed into his side.

“You sure, angel? You could have anyone, any Alpha you want would be head over heels to be with you.”

“Are you?” Peter asks, slotting his delicate thumb into the dimple on Bucky’s chin, tilting his head in a sweet, curious gesture.

“Am I...”

“Are you head over heels to be with me?” he smirks, but Bucky can see a sliver of vulnerable uncertainty in his eyes. His hands are still on Bucky’s face, and the bigger Alpha turns, pulling Peter to sit across his lap. He threads his fingers through pretty amber curls, smiling as Peter’s lashes flutter and tremble.

“More than anything— you’re already more precious to me than a hundred years could prepare me for.”

“Then let me choose,” Peter insists, twisting to look back at Tony, “please, Dad. Let me choose?”

Tony looks like he just ate a whole lemon, face twisted and body rigid in carefully controlled anger. Bucky gets it. He would never have dreamed of mating his friend’s son, but now— now that Peter has claimed him and invited him to stay— there is absolutely nothing that will separate them.

“Under no circumstances will he get pregnant, do you understand, Barnes?”

Bucky nods, but Peter fucking mewls, squirming on Bucky’s lap as arousal pours off of him in waves. The Alpha looks to Tony for help, terrified of the Omega slipping into heat in his arms.

“— fuck, no. Of course. Of fucking course,” Tony jumps to his feet, making his way down the hallway, “bring him with you— c’mon, Barnes. Hurry.”

With Peter cradled against his shoulder, Bucky runs, following Tony down the hall and into a bedroom. Tony’s bedroom, by the looks of it. The older man pulls out a tote bag, throwing it at Bucky, “Take inventory. I’ll be back in thirty-five seconds. Do not touch him.”

As Tony sprints from the room, Bucky upends the bag on the bed, keeping one arm around Peter as he sorts through the contents. Damn, this is the most thorough heat kit he’s ever seen. As he takes stock of meal supplements, electrolyte tabs, compresses, an embarrassing amount of toys and plugs, lotion and lube and even a few bath bombs, Bucky has a realization.

“Holy shit.”

“Don’t curse around my son,” Tony quips, tearing back into the room and tossing a small packet to Bucky, “these are his contraceptives. He takes one every morning, so set an alarm, do what you need to do— he’s not missing that.”

“Tony...”

“Also, you had better wrap it up. Alpha condoms are in the bag— we’re not taking a chance with your super soldier swimmers.”

“Tony,”

“— what?”

“... are you an Omega?”

There’s a moment where Bucky feels like he’s overstepped, “I just mean... I’ve never seen a heat bag so thoroughly stocked, even by a parent...”

Tony brings over a few of Peter’s clothes, shoving them in the bag, and laying a protective hand over Peter’s head. His eyes are steel when they look into Bucky’s, “Yes. Not a lot of people know that. I take high functioning suppressants, so I haven’t had a heat in years— not since I was pregnant with Peter. So you’ll understand if I’m a bit protective of my child, James.”

Bucky just reaches out, taking the bag from Tony, “You know I won’t tell a soul. The two of you are safe with me, Tony.”

Tony whips around and yanks him close, holding the collar of his jacket for leverage, “If you’re lying, you won’t be safe from me, Barnes.”

With one last, scalding look, Tony steps back and lets Bucky sweep his son away. Bucky shoulders the bag, heaves Peter into his arms, and runs out of the mansion, suddenly urgent to get them back to his den. There’s a car waiting, and Bucky settles them in the back seat, holding Peter close as they speed back to his apartment.

He’s so thankful for his own place. Living with Steve had been fine, but after a while, they realized that as Alphas, they desperately need their own territories. So Bucky bought an apartment in Brooklyn, thankfully only a twenty minute drive from Tony’s house.

It’s hard to pay attention, though, when the most alluring Omega is settled on his lap, pawing desperately at his pants and mouthing at his neck. He smells sickly sweet: caramel apples and funnel cakes with sugar and sprinkle-dipped ice cream cones all in one feverish body. Bucky rolls down the window.

When they arrive, Bucky hastily thanks the driver and heads right for his den, locking the doors and windows before settling Peter on his bed. He quickly unpacks the heat kit and fills a pitcher with water, letting Peter wake up and explore his space.

He almost drops the pitcher when he walks back into the den. Peter’s university sweatshirt and pants and pretty lace panties are all in a pile on Bucky’s floor, and damn do they look good there. His Omega is grinding, languid, on his bed sheets. His skin is flush and soft grunts escape his cherry lips as his hips move, flexing between an inviting presentation and a perfect bow of submission.

“Omega,” Bucky growls, causing Peter to freeze and look over his shoulder. His eyes are dark, needy and wild. “Look atcha, angel. So pretty ‘n desperate for me.”

Peter arches his back higher, showing off his perfect ass and pretty pink holes, “All for you, Bucky.”

Bucky makes sure to set the water pitcher down near the bed and grab condoms before climbing up next to Peter, kissing his flank and slowly stripping layers off. As he crawls to the headboard, Peter lifts his head up and pushes up onto his hands, tilting his chin up for a kiss. Bucky chuckles, more than happy to oblige.

It’s sweet, just like Peter’s heat scent. Bucky would be happy to drown in his Omega’s kisses and fade away in his arms. Peter's lips move slowly, tongue flicking out and tasting every so often as Bucky sits against the headboard, settling Peter in his lap.

They both groan. Peter’s tiny cock is straining against Bucky’s belly, snuggled smooth and wet against Bucky’s own length as they rut together, enjoying the dull pleasure and saccharine kisses.

“Touch me, Alpha,” Peter begs into Bucky’s throat, nibbling lightly and flexing his smaller fingers against Bucky’s hips.

Bucky sits up taller and uses both hands to part Peter’s supple cheeks from behind, slipping a few fingers underneath to trace along his delicate folds, scooping up a bit of the sweet slick he finds there.

“Open up, darling,” he murmurs, giving Peter a peck on the cheek as a reward when his Omega drops his jaw, mouth hanging open and tongue sticking out obediently. Without pause, Bucky shoves his fingers deep into Peter’s mouth, letting the Omega taste himself. Peter looks shocked, but sucks on Bucky’s fingers anyways. The inside of his mouth is scorching hot and velvety— tempting in a way that they do not have time for right now.

When he slips his fingers free, a slur of pleading and begging falls from Peter’s lips, urging Bucky on and ramping up his own aroused heat scent.

Bucky hitches Peter up further on his waist, sucking a swollen nipple into his mouth as he eases two fingers into Peter’s dripping entrance.

“Ho-oh-ly mother of shit, Bucky, please please... mm, need more. Please, more. Alpha!” Peter yelps as Bucky bites down, hard, on his nipple, using the distraction to work a third finger inside his Omega. He pumps them in and out, bouncing Peter on his hand. He shifts Peter’s weight, lifts him high, and uses his left hand to reach down and thumb at the throbbing clit he knows is just behind Peter’s tiny balls.

His mate screams, “Alpha!” and clenches down, coming violently while speared unforgivingly between Bucky’s hands. Clear, thick release spills from Peter’s cock, and Bucky leans down to suck it into his mouth, never stopping his assault on Peter’s sweet spots. He tastes absolutely divine, and Bucky’s eyes roll back in his head. Peter yanks on his hair, panting and wheezing as he trembles, thighs quaking around Bucky’s head.

“Bucky! Oh, oh oh oh,” Peter chants in between breaths, and Bucky jerks in surprise as his mouth is flooded, again, with his Omega’s cum. He strains to look up, to try and see Peter’s face as he comes apart a second time. Bucky swallows every drop and slowly lowers Peter to the bed. His pretty mate is still twitching, breathing hard, and is now staring at Bucky in shock.

Bucky crawls forward, leaning over his small mate, “Didja find nirvana, angel?” he asks, leaning down for a kiss.

Peter barely returns it, sighing happily into Bucky’s mouth, “Yes, Alpha.” His mouth suddenly pulls into a pout, and he turns sad, wide eyes to look at Bucky.

“What’s wrong,” Bucky panics, running his fingers lightly over Peter’s skin, searching for injury and making the Omega giggle and squeal, “what is it, angel?”

“You’re... you’re still gonna knot me, right?”

Oh. Bucky throws back his head to laugh, tossing Peter onto his front and lining up his straining cock, “You think you’re ready for this, sweetheart? You ever taken an Alpha cock in this pretty pussy?” he lets the tip tease in between Peter’s intimate lips, listening to his Omega wheeze below him.

“No, no no, not n’Alpha cock, Bucky please. Fill me up, fu-fuck me, Alpha.”

Bucky groans, “Damn, you sound so pretty with those dirty words in your mouth. So pretty begging for my cock.”

His Omega keeps begging, arching his back and wiggling his ass in the air as Bucky slips on a condom, kneeling behind his mate and lining up. God, Omegas are so pretty from behind— perfect pink holes are glistening wet, and the tiny cock and balls are just the cherry on top. So precious. Untouched and innocent.

“Take a deep breath, angel. It’s gonna be a stretch,” he waits until Peter obeys before pushing forward, inch by inch, into the hot, wet clutch of Peter’s body. Holy shit. Bucky falls forward, panting into his Omega’s neck as he bottoms out. This is heaven.

When Peter gives him the go ahead he starts a steady pace, withdrawing fully before slamming home in one, strong thrust. Peter yelps, tearing through the sheets, and Bucky just smirks, fucking into him with renewed urgency.

He tangles their fingers together in the remains of the torn sheets. Peter meets each and every thrust, cursing and desperate, lost to his heat as he’s split open on Bucky’s cock.

Then Bucky feels it, feels his knot expanding— bumping up against Peter’s entrance and catching on the flexible skin— and feels his orgasm build, deep in his gut.

“Gonna... oh fuck, Peter, angel. Gonna come. Holy shit, gonna knot you up so good, getcha stuck on me, baby. Fill you up, all nice’n full. Shit.”

He knows there’s a litany of profane promises spilling from his tongue, but he could care less as Peter flutters around him, shouting, “Alpha, oh!” as he comes for the third time. The passage around Bucky’s cock is suddenly slicker, sloppy wet, and he realizes what happened.

“Damn baby, I think you squirted on my cock. Fuck, that’s hot, oh. Oh my god. I’m coming, Peter. Fuck, Peter—”

His instincts wash over him, forcing him to rut until his knot is locked inside Peter’s still soft, still trembling body. He wants to bite, to claim, and sinks his teeth into his own bicep, growling deep as his cock is milked through a gut wrenching orgasm. His eyes roll back when Peter clenches down, and he can’t stop coming.

Peter wiggles around, shifting the intimate lock of their bodies and causing both of them to groan. “You’re heavy, Alpha,” he whines, clenching down again.

“Mercy, darling— fuck.” Bucky shivers as a smaller wave of pleasure blinds him, and he flops onto his side, pulling Peter along with him and tangling their legs together.

“How long, Alpha?” Peter mumbles, yawning gently and turning his neck to look back at Bucky sleepily.

“Bout half’n hour. We can rest until then.”

Peter just hums, content to rest in his Alpha’s arms.

Later, they’ll talk. They’ll learn middle names and talk about their favorite colors and dream of a future together. Bucky will watch him go off to college, and Peter will watch Bucky go off to battle.

Until then, Bucky looks down at his dozing mate. He has absolutely no idea where this perfect Omega came from, or why he would be lucky enough to mate him, to knot him, to possibly love him. But Bucky decides not to care.

With a warm Omega in his arms, smiling and squirming on his knot, Bucky will take whatever Peter is willing to give, and return it with as much of himself as possible.

[oinkawa-bb]

first time dads!haikyuu pt.2

request: Hi! I just read your Haikyuu as first time dads and it's so cute! Would you mind writing another one with Iwaizumi, Suna, Atsumu and Osamu? I'm looking forward to seeing more of your writing. Have a nice day! -anon

note: thank u lovely anon for being my first request!!🥺❤️ i enjoyed writing this and i hope you enjoy reading it uwu <33 i really hope i did the inarizaki characters justice b/c i’ve just recently gotten to know them!! owo here is dad!iwa, suna, atsumu, osamu 

mentions/topics: pregnancy, domesticity, timeskip, female reader insert

part one (daichi, kuroo, oikawa)

part three (tsukki, akaashi, yams, kenma)

☀︎—hajime iwaizumi

iwa and you have been trying for months

and he’s been super supportive and comforting when each test comes back negative :/

but this one day, you feel different

and he’s sitting on the ground outside the bathroom door just trying to offer positive affirmations bc he’s waiting for you to finish taking the test

but when the door opens, he sees your face and just knows

you don’t even need to say anything bc he already has a HUGE grin on his face and is pulling you in for a hug

he definitely kneels down to plant kisses on your tummy

your attempts to stop him don’t work they never do

soon to be dad iwa is super protective and cautious

definitely feels most comfortable when he can hold or touch you some way when in public

he likes to place his hand gently around your waist or he’ll grip your hand if there’s crowds

sometimes he’s a little too firm in his affection, and you have remind him to lighten up to which he becomes a lil flustered

“hajime...i can’t feel my hand,,”

but when you do go into labor, he whips out this midwife-like knowledge out of nowhere

similar to daichi, iwa became super well informed by researching a lot (but just in secret, you really had no clue)

he watched videos, read through other people’s experiences, and asked a bunch of people for their input

and now he’s super helpful to you through your contractions in the car and at the hospital

he’s calm and firm, supporting you physically to the hospital and emotionally through the labor

but when iwa’s baby finally makes their appearance

he just becomes all ushy-gushy and weak with watery eyes

his hands are pressed together and placed at his mouth in awe when he finally sees you hold his child

and then when he finally gets to hold the baby,

boy oh boy

iwaizumi actually cries a lot more than either of you expected

he’s so smitten with his newborn, and he can’t stop internally & externally praising your strength for carrying and birthing his child 

like he sees you in a totally different light, and he thought it was impossible but he’s fallen even more in love with you now

and he can’t wait to take care of his new family🥺

☀︎—suna rintarou

suna definitely didn’t see this coming,,,

but nonetheless when he processes the meaning behind the bun you placed in the oven, he doesn’t feel anything but sheer excitement

suna’s actually wanted to have children with you for awhile

but he’s never admitted it out loud uwuwuwu

he holds you firmly in his arms and caresses your hair gently for a long time, and you have to ask him if everything’s ok🥺

but it’s literally because he’s lowkey tearing up and at a loss for words

after a few moments tho, he collects himself and slowly presses light kisses all over your face

“i’m just really happy.”

at night, he refuses to sleep when he knows that you’re struggling to sleep due to discomfort

so he’ll lay awake with you and mumble mindlessly about the future he sees with you until both of you doze off

sometimes he just sees you standing at the counter or something and he can’t resist bc ur just so cute!!!!

he’ll quietly come in for a back hug,,,

and he’ll place his chin on your head and his arms around your belly and close his eyes and just stand there for as long as he wants until... 

”rin.... i need to pee”

he’ll let go then probably

but when the day finally comes, his mind is literally all over the place and he’s trying to be calm on the outside

in the car, your breathing is getting heavier and sharper, and he’s lowkey a little panicked but he won’t stop reassuring you for one second

“hey, look at me, you’re okay, it’s gonna be okay”

he’s definitely in pain himself seeing you in labor,

but he’ll be by your bedside, gently holding your hand and letting you squeeze his as hard as you need to

but it’s all worth it when he gets to see his baby with his own eyes,,

when he sees you cooing softly and holding his dear child against your chest, silent tears fall out of his eyes

suna swears he’s never seen a more beautiful sight than this

☀︎—atsumu miya

atsumu comes home from an exhausting day of work, 

and right as he walks through the door, he’s whining your name, about to ramble about practice...

but then he sees a tiny pair of volleyball shoes at the front,,,

and he’s like... o w o

even though he’s tired out of his mind, his brain works quickly, and he’s connecting the dots in his head

you’re just standing there at the end of the hallway all giggly n cute

he raises his eyebrow and then his sly smile turns into a huge one as he runs up to you,

he clutches your face in his hands and is peppering kisses all over you to the point where you have to physically pry him away

basically immediately, atsumu starts using little nicknames for the baby, but they change almost every day LOL

he also definitely downloaded the pregnancy tracking app (even though? you already have one? and it’s unnecessary for him to have it too? he doesn’t care tho)

he checks it every day before work, lets you know what size the baby is, and kisses your bump aka his angel/nugget/muffin/dumpling/etc. before leaving

“y/nnnn my lil’ angel is the size of a bell pepper today”

“atsumu... i know.. i already checked”

atsumu also boasts so much when he’s sharing the news with his teammates and family members

like osamu was somewhat looking forward to being an uncle until atsumu hit him with the daily updates of your cravings and symptoms and how the baby kicked when he placed his hand on your belly and on and on

but he also just wants to make you feel hella loved and wanted during your pregnancy

he can sense that your body image and self-esteem sometimes takes a major hit

so it’s not uncommon for him to be showering you in compliments nonstop

but honestly it’s also just because he thinks ur even hotter... if that was possible....

this is embarassing but i feel like he has you saved as “hot mama” in his phone or smth

and then the day arrives, and the whole drive there, he’s going “oh shit” in his head over and over but he’s playing this cool demeanor on the outside

actually, this carries over into the hospital too, but he just decides that he’ll do whatever he can to pamper the hell out of you & make you feel less uncomfortable

upon first sight of the baby,

there’s no other words to describe how he feels other than his heart just melting on the spot. 

it’s game over for him because he knows that he’ll literally do anything for you and this precious baby now

anything. (prepare to be spoiled rotten)

☀︎—osamu miya

osamu returns from work one day,

and you’re just at the stove cooking, so he comes up behind you, snaking a hand up the bottom of your shirt to caress your bare waist while whispering his greeting in your ear

but then you wince when he touches your stomach

and he’s like “oh?”

he’s super puzzled so he intently observes you as you bite your lip and start to blush

“i was going to tell you this over dinner but i just can’t hold it in,”

osamu kind of already knows where this is headed but he watches as you reach for your back pocket and pull out a pregnancy test neatly tucked in a ziploc bag

he’s been waiting for this moment to come his whole life (osamu a sucker for domesticity imo) so he’s literally internally screaming for joy!!!

but outwardly his smile conveys it all, and he’s chuckling as he pulls you close by the waist to plant a kiss to your lips

during your pregnancy, osamu becomes overwhelmingly nurturing

it’s almost like you’re the baby ???

like he cooks even more for you and is always whipping something up asap when you mention your cravings

what if he made onigiri with the foods you crave as the filling

he does research on ways to quell nausea and discomfort and goes out to buy herbs and ingredients that would make you feel better

basically, he wants to take the best care of you possible my baby

at night, he’s going to let you use him in any way to sleep better

most of the times, you want him pressed against your back and his head nuzzling your neck

he whispers soft and sweet declarations of his love for you and the baby when he thinks you’re asleep you’re not

ok but when the day comes,,,

osamu is just so ready for the baby to arrive that he’s as cool and collected as ever

you’re definitely not tho, and he can sense it, so he’ll find every way to calm you down

meaning,,, he’ll play calming spa music in the hospital room, massage your lower back, gently repeat encouraging affirmations, etc, etc.

osamu takes care of you so well uwuwuwu

and when the baby makes an appearance, you bet osamu leaps to dad duty right away

he’s emotional but clear-minded, and he’s already mentally planning his life with you back at home with the baby🥺

he can see the future with you and this sweet baby for eternity and he’s so ready <3333

[donutloverxo]

Spoiled

Kinktober day 5 - Mirror sex

*gif is not mine*

Note - this is a bit of a rushed job. Because while I like August I didn't want to end the year on him lol. It has to be our husband. Thank you so so much for all the support and love all of you have shown me this past year, it's serves as a great motivation for me. I have a resolution of writing 200k in the next year so hopefully there's a lot more hoeness and happiness this coming year for us all. Love y'all❤

This is the last part and sequel to past self and messed up. Dividers by @whimsicalrogers.

Warnings - 18+ only, Smut (m/f), daddy kink, light anal play, hints to threesomes, jealous Steve, cum play, rough sex, general nastiness.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 2k

“I am so tired. I mean time travelling is fun and all but sooo exhausting,” you mumbled into the pillow as you laid face flat on your bed. The soft plush mattress providing some much needed comfort to your sore muscles.

After the snap both you and Steve had moved into a brownstone in Brooklyn, it was much smaller than your quarters in the compound but you never really liked having that much of a distance from him anyway.

Even if you weren’t doing anything, you’d prefer to do nothing with him. Just lounging around on like a couple of couch potatoes.

It was hard for him to not have much to do. With half the world gone and the Avengers broken up he spent most of his days volunteering and leading therapy groups. Telling others to move on, that’s what their loved ones would want for them, while not being able to do so himself. Blaming himself for everything that had happened.

He told you that having all that free time made his mind go to dark places, thinking of his past, of all the lives that he wasn’t able to save. And after years of denying that he needed any, he decided to go to therapy.

They were a tough few years. But everything was fine now. As fine as it could be. His friends were back, you joked about how Bucky and Tony had matching cyborg arms now, he laughed at that but they didn’t. There was still plenty of hostility there, he didn’t exactly expect them to become ‘bffs', as you’d called it, hopefully they’d learn to get along.

He unzipped your boots, pulling them off and massaging your feet, listening to you babble nonsense about all your theories about time travel.

He always called you his sunshine. It was an apt petname for you, you brought light into his life, you were his light at the end of the tunnel. After years of being alone, it was as if he was waiting for you all along.

While you had your share of breakdowns during those five years, lots of fights with him because you wanted to move on and not be stuck in the past. He agreed with you, he didn’t want to be stuck, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t give up on those he loved.

You were always there for him. His only solace during those dark times.

He had changed a lot, when he met you he was still the Captain, then he was on the run, living in shady motels and not knowing who the fuck he was.

He became a bit more melancholic after the snap, the whole world did, a lot needier for you and your attention and love. Because he was so grateful you weren’t gone.

If you had... he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

He knew it annoyed you because even though you loved him, that he didn’t doubt one bit, you also liked your independence. But he’ll always need you way more than you need him.

“Sunshine?” he called for your attention, his hands now moving up to your calves, applying just the little bit of pressure.

You giggled, looking over your shoulder to him as you felt your face heat up, “I swear, Steve, you’re so cheesy.”

“Do you...” he cleared his throat and then shook his head, it was stupid of him to even think something like that much less verbally express it to you.

You turned around, laying flat on your back, “What?”

“It’s silly,” he pressed his lips in a thin line.

“I don’t care, you still have to tell me. Come on,” you lightly kicked your legs which were on his lap.

“Do you ever wish... you were with someone closer to your age.”

He couldn’t look at you, even after all these years of being together he couldn’t be completely vulnerable--a life of rejection making him anticipate the worst.

“Why would you say that?” you sat up, cupping his cheek with your hand.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged.

It wasn’t just that you were younger, almost everyone was younger compared to him, but you had a young soul that would never grow old.

And he... he was no fun sometimes, how long would it take for you to grow tired of him. Did just you like the thrill of being on the run? When he was more edgier and rougher than he is now.

“I could never even imagine being with anyone but you,” you assured him.

He scoffed, “Didn’t seem like that when you were with him.”

“Oh, you mean ‘you'?” you cocked your head to the side, feigning innocence.

You knew how jealous your fawning over his past self’s beard had made him. To be honest, you would lose your shit if he acted that way towards any other woman, even if said woman was a version of you.

He shook his head, “Forget I said anything.”

“Wait,” you cupped his cheek, making him look at you, “You’re so jelly and needy sometimes, daddy.”

He bit the inside of his as you knelt on the floor before him, parting his legs, your hands fumbling with his belt but he stopped you by holding onto your wrists.

“We should get cleaned up...” he half heartedly tried to stop you but you managed to pull all his straps open and take his hardening erection out of his pants.

“We probably should...” you hummed, “But I guess I need to show daddy how much I love him,” peaking out your tongue to circle his leaking tip.

“I know you love me, sweetheart, but I just worry sometimes if I’m too old fashioned for you?” he wondered, letting out a shuddering moan as you took him in your mouth, looking up at him with your wide innocent eyes--always so full of life.

You swallowed around him, moaning at the familiar taste and scent of him, taking him deeper till he hit the back of your throat.

Steve being old fashioned did bother you a little at times. Not the part where he was an absolute gentleman, always holding the door open for you, paying for your dates. But where he always wanted to be the one protecting you. Taking care of you. Which was good, but he needs some loving too.

“Swallow it all, honey,” he instructed as he held your head down, his spend coating the back of your throat as you followed his command like a good girl.

Opening your mouth and holding out your tongue, “I did it, daddy,” you proclaimed proudly.

He prodded at your mouth with his fingers, under your tongue, to make sure that you got all of it, “Good girl,” he smiled as you suckled on his fingers, “you always need to have your mouth stuffed, honey, don’t you?”

You only nodded, letting out a pathetic whine when he pulled his fingers out with a loud pop.

“Let’s go shower, honey,” he said but then frowned when you shook your head.

“Are you done already? That’s it?” Don't say it, don’t... “Got another one in ya?”

You knew you were digging your own grave, of Steve wanted you he could literally fuck you for days, you had tried to ‘test' that on your honeymoon. To see who would give out first, your poor pussy or his unyielding supersoldier stamina.

Obviously he won and you were never able to complete your little experiment.

He gave you a fake sweet smile, dripping with--so much malice which was so not Steve. Gripping your hair he yanked you back to bare your neck to him, his other hand tracing your pulse point before wrapping around your neck, applying the slightest bit of pressure - because you were precious, he’d never want to actually hurt you, “I was going to make love to you in the shower, sweetheart.” he squeezed tighter as you choked, wrapping your tiny hands around his wrist, “But then you had to go and say that. What should we do with you?” he mused.

“Fuck me?” you sassed, while making love sounded nice, you would much rather have a good dicking down.

“No, you have to learn your lesson, honey. I maybe older but it only makes me better. I’ll have to show you I guess,” he tutted.

Hauling you up, with his hands under your arms, he manhandled you till you both stood before the dressing mirror you had gotten a few months ago, pressing your cheek against its cool surface as he worked on the seams of your cat suit.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” he confessed, ever since you had bought the large mirror, he liked to watch you as he took you apart in it, sometimes making you look, somehow that seemed to suck all your sass and feistiness and you’d just turn into a shy flustered mess in his arms, refusing to look at the mirror or at him.

Which would only fuel his lust, because he still had the ability to surprise you, even after he’d seen all of you. Felt all of your caverns, and you, intimately and knew them like the back of his hand.

“Never really got the opportunity to, now’s good a time as any, wouldn’t you agree?” he nibbled at the shell of your ear, smirking as you weakly nodded.

“You’re so good at doing what you’re told.” He pressed a kiss to your hair, kneeling behind you to rid you of your tight pants before burying his head between your legs.

Nudging your intimate lips apart with the lip of his tongue, “You’re already soaked, honey,” he observed, licking his lips to savor your taste before prodding at your second hole with his tongue, just so he could hear you gasp.

“Steve!” you exclaimed, not expecting that. While Steve was more of an ass man, he never wanted to fuck you or even touch you there. But after a lot of course convincing from your side he had to give in.

He bit the flesh of your buttocks before speaking against it, “Since you like having all your holes stuffed, maybe I should call Bucky to help me out sometime...”

“Really?!” you perked up, looking down at him over your shoulder.

He didn’t give you an answer, instead fucking you with his tongue tillyou were quivering around him, crying out loud, as the mirror fogged up.

“Bucky’s nice...” you mumbled incoherently as he rose to his feet, his nails digging into your hips as he picked you up till you were standing on your top toes to meet his height. Sheathing his hard length inside you in one firm thrusts as he stayed still to let you get used to him.

“Hm. Am I not nice?” you saw him frown behind in his reflection, “I buy you whatever you want. Give you whatever you want, don’t I? Apparently it’s not enough for you. You’re getting too spoiled, I need to start saying no,” he drove each word home with hard thrusts, his tip kissing your cervix, his warm breath brushing the back of your neck.

“NOOO,” you whined, tears streaming down your face at such an outrageous prospect. Steve never said no to you. Not even when you literally asked for a threesome with his past self. “I was saying...” You tried to say but moaned as he pinched your clit, trying to jerk away from him but his firm hold on you made it impossible. “That he’s nice...” you panted, “Slow down, please!”

He hummed to make a show of thinking about it but then fastened his pace, twisting your clit between his fingers as he watched your face in the mirror.

“No.”

“He’s nice.... but he’s not you,” you wailed, clenching around him as your climax washed over you.

He had to hold onto your waist, so you wouldn’t collapse on your shaky leg, he smiled, “That’s very touching, doll.” He said.

“’is the truth.”

“I wouldn’t mind sharing it with Bucky though. He knows you’re mine.” Unlike a certain someone who was dumb enough to think he had any claim on you, “Can you hold for me?” he asked as you nodded.

Planting your hands against the mirror you braced yourself as he fucked you from behind, filling you up to the brim with his warmth.

“Okay then. You wouldn’t find me kicking him out of my bed...” you giggled.

[angeli-marco-writes]

Tom Felton - Baby on the Brain

A/N - First request! I hope this is what you wanted, I really like this idea. I don’t know Tom, nor do I claim to, and the other characters are fictional figments. To celebrate 100 followers, I'm uploading this early. Thank you!

Warnings - overloads of fluff, mentions of baby sick, mild language, slight angst, hints to a breeding kink whoops, lightly implied smut.

Summary - Visiting Tom’s brother and his new baby should be a walk in the park, really, but some unwitting truths come to ahead that you can’t refute. You’ve always wanted a family, but does Tom? (Request for Tom Felton: you guys meet his brother's new baby and then decide to have your own.)

Tom’s bruised knuckles rap thrice against the oak wood of his brother's front door, squeezing your smaller, trembling hand in his, running his fingers over the band of the ring in pride of place. Taking a deep breath in sync with yours, he turns his twinkling blue eyes towards you, lending you a twitch of a reassuring smile.

“Why are you so nervous? It’s only my brother,” he says, his voice gruff following the cigarette he smoked in the car.

“It’s the baby I wanna see,” you breathe, “less nervous, more jittery.”

“Maybe you should’ve gone for tea this morning instead of a double shot coffee.”

You nudge his ribs with your elbow, and then his overly sensitive hip bone with yours, coaxing a gentle chuckle from his lips, “Maybe I wouldn’t have needed it if you hadn’t kept me up so late.”

The devilish, shit-eating grin creeping onto his lips tells you that he feels no remorse, but then again, you’d take tiredness and a night like that over anything. His fingers twine tighter around yours as footsteps begin to shuffle behind the door, followed by an ear-piercing, blood-curdling screech, absolutely unholy.

“See he’s having fun with the kid, then?” you begin to whisper, but your words trail off as Tom’s very exhausted looking brother appears in the doorway, feeding bottle in hand, burping rag over his shoulder, deep purple bags beneath his eyes.

“Alright mate?” Tom greets, stepping one loafer-clad foot over the threshold, offering his brother a man hug.

“Tired, yeah. How you doing, man?” he responds warmly, patting Tom’s back.

“I’m good, I’m good, Jon.” Tom says, though you can feel him almost imperceptibly tense beside you.

Turning ever so slightly, all eyes are cast on you. Naturally, you offer Tom’s brother your warmest smile, teeth and all, sympathy welling both in your eyes and your heart. Kids must be tough if he looks like this with a three-week old.

“And who’s this?” Jonathan asks, sweetly, inquisitive more than anything, though he does look at you a bit peculiarly, scrutinising you, perhaps your outfit, the mom jeans you paired with a cropped cardigan perhaps not his style.

“This is my fiancée, Y/N.” Tom says, his words holding an inflection or pride perhaps, but whatever it is, it sends a pang of excitement shooting down your spine, a smirk creeping its way onto your lips, one you have to bite back, “I’m sorry I haven’t bought her over before, but you know what it’s like.”

“Yeah, course. Nice to meet you.”

“And you! Where’s the baby?”

Tom chuckles softly, and he curls his arm around your body, hip to hip. “She loves kids.”

Jonathan stands aside, a welcoming hand to beckon you into his home, the laminate floors covered in baby commodities, pastel blankets strewn everywhere, but other than, surprisingly clean considering Tom mentioned his brother was a hoarder and was always the most untidy of the bunch all throughout their youth. Considering how bad Tom is and how often you’re stuck cleaning away his dirty dishes and putting his laundry on, you were expecting far worse, but maybe Tom was the worst of them all along.

He tickles between your ribs as you wander through the halls, greeted in the back room by a tiny blonde headed baby, cradled in two arms of a just as exhausted looking lady donning a kind smile, stars dancing in her eyes as she stares down at her temporarily placated child. Tufts of blonde hair pair with enamoured hazel eyes to compliment the soft yellow of their clothes and the rosiness of their chubby cheeks. The hair, the nose, the tiny dimples; this baby looks just like Tom - and all his brothers - did when they were little dots themselves. The same little treasures. You, however, were an unattractive baby compared to this ball of sunshine.

“This is Ainsley.” Tom’s sister in law says lazily, her words falling off as she gapes in adoration at the gurgling blob of joy in her embrace. “And I’m Zara.”

“I’m Y/N.” you smile widely.

Should he not know better, Tom would quite possibly think you’re going to either collapse of hyperventilate, judging by the flush of your cheeks, your elevated pulse, heart beating out of your chest, the tiny, delightful, desperate whimpering noises from the back of your throat, elicited from a single glance into the babies eyes.

Said baby begins to make some indistinguishable noises and flails its arms around faintly, feebly, in your general direction. You’d be lying if your heart didn’t do a somersault in your chest.

“M- may I hold Ainsley?” you stammer out, extending your covered arms in a similar cradle to that of Ainsley’s mother.

“God, you’d be doing me a right favour,” she retorts, her accent broad, Geordie.

She shuffles softly down the pale green sofa, so perfectly complimenting the oak floors, to make a room for you that you take gratefully, and position yourself astutely against the back of the sofa. Before retrieving the baby, though, Tom grasps for a muslin cloth and affectionately drapes it over you, affectionate in the manner that he does it with such care, grazing his thumbs over your collarbones as he goes, ever so gently, barely even a touch, but enough to let you know he’s there. He holds your gaze for a moment, his lips twitching into a smile. This alone sends butterflies to your stomach and sets a sheen of fog about your head, taking you even more by surprise when the baby is laid in your arms, writhing and smiling and blinking so sweetly.

“Hiya darling,” you coo, “aren’t you just the most precious thing.”

“Gender neutral name and clothing...” Tom interjects, sidling up on the arm of the sofa beside you, “may I ask their sex and the pronouns you’re using?”

“Male, but we’re trying to be as gender neutral as possible so they can grow up not feeling pressured.”

You can’t wipe the beam from your face, or prevent the small ‘awwh!’ from escaping under your breath, curling the cloth slightly around the child, “That’s a wonderful attitude. Tommy, would you fetch my bag from the car, please?”

In a second, he’s bouncing up, his hand thrust deep in his chinos to fish for the car key. “You asked me to grab it before we got out as well, sorry sweetheart. Back in a minute.” With a nod to his brother, he’s racing out the door, his footsteps thundering through the house. Your attention, however, remains glued to the baby.

“Would you like me to set them down for tummy time afterwards, or is he going back to sleep?” You ponder aloud, eyes glued to the wry tufts of hair so soft and silky between your fingers.

“If he falls asleep in your arms, that’s fab. We’re just livin’ minute by minute.”

You release a small laugh, “Fair enough.”

Jon sits beside you tentatively, between yourself and his wife, his arm wrapping around her as she leans her body weight against him, her hair--held in a bun before, now just kind of flopping into her eyeline--tickling her shoulder and causing him to wince a little.

“How do you know so much about babies?”

The sigh you don’t mean to release is wistful at best, plain pining at worst--and probably most obvious. “I’ve always wanted them, kids, but Tommy’s the first guy I’ve settled down with, but despite being engaged, we’re still taking things slowly.”-- You shrug, as best as you can with the baby in hold, and cock your head to the side to peer down better at every tiny freckle on Ainsley’s skin.--“I love him to bits, but he wants to wait, and I’m still young, a good chunk younger than he is.”

“If it helps,” he starts, “I’ve never seen Tom as in love with someone as he is you. He’s besotted. You say the word, he’ll do it.”

“I know. I just don’t want to make him do anything unless he’s 100% sure.”

“And that’s what makes you his perfect girl.”

Your heart swells. There’s a beat, a pause of silence, filled only with the zapping of the car outside, no more than a couple of seconds before Jon’s wife speaks again.

“Enough of that. Show us the ring!”

If they’re all this excitable at something as simple as your engagement ring, perhaps you’ll fit in with his family better than you anticipated. ** Certainly, if their amiable gasps are anything to go by as you display your hand to them, your ring finger held out, supporting Ainsley’s head in the crook of your elbow as they gawk at the diamond glistening in the sunlight streaming in from their floor-to-ceiling patio doors. You have to admit it’s a pretty damn beautiful ring, the one you always dreamed of. An oval cut 0.5ct diamond held in place by a delicate split-shank 18ct gold band. It glows ethereally in whatever light there is, but most spectacularly in Tom’s eyes.

“It’s the most gorgeous ring,” she gushes, “apart from mine.”

A smile creeps its way in. You’re not entirely sure what the hell you’ve done right in your life to deserve this incredible, expensive ring, or even Tom for that reason. This is the life you’ve always dreamed of, the one that Tom’s brother has, and if you’re even half as happy as they are after being married for 5 years then you’ll consider your life to be a great success. You always wanted the quiet family life in the suburbs, with a lovely house and a nice garden and a couple of kids, working a part time job that pays well and allows you time for your children and your husband… then you fell in love with him. Loving Tom, though, that’s the true gift in your life, and you’d take him over that life any day. He’s the best, truly.

Speak of the devil and he shall arrive, since Tom comes puffing into the room, his heavy footsteps coming to a halt in the doorway as he hands over your abnormally large handbag.

“Here,” he gasps, but turns his gaze upon your hand, witnessing their marvelling at the rock he put there, “it is a pretty boss ring, isn’t it? Worth every penny.”

He bends down to ghost a kiss over your lips, his slightly long dark-blonde hair tickling your cheeks, smiling warmly down at you before deciding to sidle up next to you in the small gap between you and the arm of the sofa. However, half way down, his hip bones are digging in, and he winces up like he’s just been shocked. You know how sensitive his hip bones are, a fat you use against him incredibly often for all the best reasons, but today, he’s been so good, and you shan’t make him sit uncomfortably.

Keeping your hold on Ainsley--who’s almost asleep already, quieter than he was before with only faint gurgles escaping, their eyes droopy--steady, you begin to stand, and shuffle yourself up a bit, allowing Tom to take your previous seat, before placing yourself back down with as little ‘umph’ as you can manage, hooking your thigh over tom’s in the process. He knows what to do, it’s always been your calling card at home or at a party: as soon as you sling your leg over his, he pulls you into his lap eerie time, and today is no different. Well, perhaps it is, as he furrows his dark eyebrows inquisitively, gazing adoringly at you and the child in your arms, waiting for your nod okay before he hitches his arms around your waist and tugs you, as gently as he possibly can with his delicate grip, into his lap, giving you both ample space.

“Babe,” you whisper, “can you fetch the gift out of my bag?”

He’s instantly ferreting around until he finds the presents you neatly wrapped in polka dot paper, and hands them to Jonathan. Eagerly, they're unwrapped, and it seems that your many arguments over what to get Tom’s niece or nephew were worth it, considering the fact their eyes begin to brim with tears.

A soft grey elephant plush, holding a yellow heart, embellished with ‘Ainsley Felton, love Uncle Tom’, and a Peter Rabbit china crockery set for when they’re older.

“Thank you,” Zara exclaims, the way only a mother can, in gracious relief, “they’re adorable, so perfect.”

And before you know it, both you and Tom are being embraced wholeheartedly, as though you’re already their family. It’s been a life since anyone besides Tom hugged you, but this, this is nice.

“Well, lunch?”

Said lunch is a tumultuous affair, with a delivery pizza being ordered from the local dominoes, but with Ainsley so comfortable and calm in your arms, it was an elected decision not to move him, and instead, Tom fed you your pizza. It isn’t the first time, his love language seems to be feeding you things, but normally it's strawberries or chocolate truffles. Never before have you covered an entire medium pizza being fed to you while trying to avoid dropping any toppings or tomato sauce onto a peaceful baby, but that is just an indicator for the rest of the afternoon, Tom’s hands or eyes never once leaving you.

Completely accidentally, Jonathan and his wife drift off to sleep. You smile sadly at the sight, unable to blame them, they must be knackered, the problem simply lies in the fact that Ainsley begins to stir just as they drift off.

“See if there’s any milk in the fridge, please, I think they’re using formula.” you hiss to Tom, standing up cautiously.

Aghast, he grapples for words, “I-I’m sorry, what?!”

“Forget it,” you sigh, “take the baby and change him, please.”

“Change him?!” Again, that same tone of staggered surprise. “I don’t know how!”

“You have four nieces and nephews already, yes you do. He’s going to start screaming in a minute and wake your very tired, very groggy brother. Change the baby.”

When your eyes begin to thin, nostrils flaring, eyebrows raising, he knows not to mess with you, so he swallows thickly, his throat bobbing up and down, and scoops a crying Ainsley from your arms. As he treads upstairs, you find your way back into the kitchen, and find on the counter the bottles done with their sterilisation. This is okay, this is great, you know how to do this, and years of babysitting taught you exactly how to do this. It’s almost like that scene from Outnumbered, assembling the bottle with your eyes closed, muscle memory taking over from your brain. When your eyes flutter open, you almost let out a little squeal at your achievement. If only you could learn this all over again, have this life with a little child of your own, with Tom being as good a dad as he’s acting right now. When you handed him the baby, though, you couldn’t help but notice the fear that flashed over his face, paling him a shade, his pupils dilating to erase the blue. You wish he wasn’t so scared…

A few minutes later, with the kettle boiled and the formula made, you appear in the front room where Tom is swaddling Ainsley, holding the bean against his beating heart, making only the very slightest movements to entertain them.

“Give him a bit of tummy time while the milk cools, do you want to feed him?” you offer, stepping over the threshold .

“N-no,” he exhales slowly, “I think you’d best do that. Can I just put them down?”

“I’ll grab the mat from the corner”--you spied it as you walked in, a colourful crinkle mat rolled up and tucked away from view against the cream walls, behind the flat-screen on its grand stand--“and then yeah.”

Even as he puts Ainsley down, stomach first, onto the playmat, he looks petrified. Taking a seat on the floor to watch over them, you tug on Tom’s tan trouser leg. Indecisiveness gnaws at him, tugging him away from you, but he concedes to your widened puppy eyes, and tumbles onto the shag pile rug next to you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders like its second nature.

“You okay?” you whisper.

“Yeah, course. You?”

“Yeah.”

You let your head fall to his arm, a blissful smile creeping its way onto your lips when Ainsley looks you dead in the eye, hazel orbs twinkling, full of hope.

“I love you.”

“I know,” he hums, “I love you too.”

“Then why are you being so… prickly with me today?”

He shifts away from you the most miniscule amount, “I’m not.”

“We’ve been together for years, Tom. I know when you’re bloody lying.” you lower your voice for the final words, “now tell me why you’re being such a pouty puss.”

You mimic his frown, knowing full well that he hates it when you do so. He hates seeing you sad, even if it's just pretend, so makes a swooping move to kiss the frown away.

“Would you leave me if I said I didn’t want kids?” his voice breaks on the final word, little more than a whisper, but his next move is so animated that it almost startles you with the bottle in hand. “I mean, you know I want them. I love kids, I want us to have a family, but…”

“Nothing would ever make me leave you, Tom. You couldn’t do anything that’d cause me to fall out of love with you.”

The pain in your statement sends a shock through you, singing your heart, poisoning your mind, sending a sour bile running up your throat. No matter how many daggers shoot at your heart, it remains to be true. You’d do anything for him. If, tomorrow, he turned around and said he wanted the two of you to stay together but never marry and never have children, you wouldn’t back down without a fight, but you’d accept it. Despite all your lifelong hopes, nothing trumps Tom.

“I’m gonna feed Ainsley now.”

Picking the baby up from the rug, you put a bib around his neck, and throw another cloth around you, taking a seat in the corner chair to feed him.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” he says, and walks out, shoulders slumped.

You watch him wistfully as he leaves the room, and even when he returns--refusing to look at you--your gaze is still trained on his every move, slumping into the shag pile rug to watch the TV on a low volume. You can feel his eyes on you, that burning pair of eyes that follow you everywhere, your every movement, his ears honed, trained to your every shift and whisper. The second you turn upon him though, he’s looking away.

“I’ll put Ainsley down now,” you announce after burping him, “we need to leave soon if we want to make it home before dark.”

He doesn’t even bat an eye as you sashay past him, Ainsley’s cries muffled by a dummy, but the second he hears your footsteps heading back downstairs, his own begin to thunder, pounding against the stairs to meet you halfway.

“Wait,” he whispers, “come on, sit down, talk to me. I love you.”

A sigh heaves your chest, “I love you too. Talk about what?”

“You’re being arsey with me.”

“Because you said you don’t want kids!”

“Well I didn’t mean it, I’m just”--he pinches the bridge of his nose, and ushers you up on the stairs, your calves hitting the carpet--“there’s a lot to think about. We just met the kid, and I saw how your face lit up when you held him.”

“You know I want kids, Tom.”

“I know, but can we not talk about kids for a second? I want to talk about you. You’re my fiancée, I want to make you my wife. I’m just scared.”

“What of? You have nothing to be scared of. I’ll be here no matter what.”

“That’s why I’m scared!” he exasperates, flailing his arms about, “I don’t want you to senselessly follow me and love me if I can’t give you what you want. I’m scared of fucking this up, fucking you up. I’m scared of this going wrong, with children or marriage or saying something wrong, because I can’t lose you.”

“Tom,” you murmur.

Your hand flies up to cup his jaw, grazing your thumb over the stubble growing there, the faintest shadow.

“I love you. I- I need you. Y/N, sweetheart, please. I just wanna stay how we are, just stay this way for a bit, slow down because the world is moving too fast, and I’m gonna fall, but I can’t drag you down with me.” he croaks, cradling your neck with trembling, callused hands. “Can we stay how we are? Just us? Just you and me?”

“Babe you aren’t gonna lose me. Everything else off the table, we’ve got this, we’ve got us. We can stop the world and get off if that's what you want. Nothing is immediate, everything can wait.” you promise, your eyes boring into his.

All at once, his lips come crashing down onto yours, swallowing any inhibitions with his lavishing tongue, his hot breath slanting and fanning over your lips, leaving innocent adoration in their wake. Until a piercing scream resounds.

“Except maybe that.”

You duck from his grip skilfully, and slip into Ainsley’s room, two fingers reaching out to tickle their stomach, causing the scream to hiccup in their throat momentarily. Then, as if wondering what to do next, he just stares up at you imploringly, questioningly.

“Come on Ainsley, I just set you down to sleep. Be good and let mummy and daddy sleep too, okay?” you coo, tucking his blanket back up to his neck, slipping his cuddly toy closer, “go back to sleep.”

This child is already one with an attitude, you can tell that by the vehemence with which he yells out. You don’t even have to think twice before you’re stooping into the cot, swathing him in blankets, and lifting him to your bosom, where his screams fall to mere gurgles.

“Do you think he’s sleeping in the bed with them?” you ask Tom, keeping your voice at a steady whisper even with the slight bounces you’re offering the baby, “because I think that causes parental problems above all else because they’re being kicked in the back all night. Still, decreases the risk of SIDS. Why do they have a cot up if they are? He can’t sleep without contact…”

You don’t even realise you’re thinking aloud until Tom presses his thumbs into your shoulders, buckling your whole body. It’s the instant tension reliever, truly, and your shoulders do seem tighter today, perhaps from all the baby wrangling.

“Lets just sit, shall we?”

You do, taking up refuge in the front room once again, with an extra blanket of his, as well as a supply of cuddly toys, rattles, and dummies. Tom watches you with fascination for the rest of the afternoon, everything you do drawing his full attention; enticing, entrapping. His heart swells at the sight of you bouncing Ainsley around to make him laugh, cooing and giggling with him to coax a smile back after a wail that you hushed down, holding him so closely as he sleeps. He’s finally seeing it, after all these years, you, in your true home habitat, caring for a child, so kindly, so motherly, so naturally. Everything you do instantly seems to set the infant at ease. He knows it should be him, Ainsley is his nephew, but… you’re just better.

In fact, before he even realises it, he’s craving what he doesn’t have. Not that he can’t have it -- you’ve been together for a long time, you’ve discussed a future with children more times than he can count, and of course he wants it. Tom, he’s always wanted to be a dad, to read his kids books and sing them lullabies and show them what daddy did for work… but it's always been a pipe dream. Your wishes of a family have never come to fruition, and all because of his selfish fears.

The world can’t stop turning just because he’s getting cold feet and wants to climb off for a minute to catch his breath. That’s not how life works. If you want something, you’ve gotta grab it by the balls, because the opportunity will be gone before you know it. And with Tom? He won’t lose you because he won’t take a chance to make you happy and give you what you want. If anything, seeing the crestfallen look that settles between your brows when you actually have to give Ainsley back to their parents just further instils and confirms the idea in his head. There’s his future, in his mind's eye, as clear as day. This is what he needs to do, but better still, this is what he wants.

The drive back to your home is spent in relative silence, and a pensive one at that. You know like instinct that Tom is replaying your final conversation with Jonathan and his wife the same way you are. After all, the simple words did put a dampener on your reconciliation. Your hand is on the gearstick the whole way, though, your fingers entwined with his, the simple contact enough for you. You were right at lunch: all day it's been his hands or his eyes on you: you like it when it's both simultaneously, the way it was when you said your goodbyes.

Tom’s hands settled on your hips, his chin atop your head, and you just fell into his enveloping warmth, smiling lazily at the couple you rescued for the afternoon.

“Thanks so much, we owe you one.” Jonathan said, giving Tom another one of those manly hugs as you stand in the dusk-darkened wooden porch.

“Really,” Zara chimed in, her feet shuffling on the tiled floor as she held her husband's hand, “you’re welcome to have him any time. That is, of course, if you don’t have a little one of your own by the time you’ve recovered from that blighter.”

You forced a dry chuckle at her words, an awkward sound, but you seemed to recover well enough, “Well Ainsley’s been a pleasure, and I’m glad we could give you some respite. Take care.”

“And you. Drive safe.”

“We will,” Tom said, offering them a smile, flashing his keys, keeping his grip on you resolute, “thanks for having us.”

Their words still loom over you like a dark cloud. It was a throwaway comment, one they’d have thought nothing of, and most people, and even you on a good day, but you’d had that… spat earlier on that changed everything. Dredging it up would just put an even further dampener on your mood, though, and with a drive home in the semi-darkness already hanging over you like a massive impending storm cloud of fear, that’s definitely not ideal.

“Nice baby, Ainsley,” Tom mentions, turning his indicator on to pull off the dual carriageway.

“Yeah, and he’s cute.”

“Nice eyes.”

And a couple more comments like those are the only conversation you share as the journey goes by, but soon enough, you’re on the home stretch, and your street rolls into view. With your head comfortably rolled back against the headrest, your eyes shut from a tiring day of exertion and childminding , you don’t notice Tom stepping out the car and unravelling his grip from you. Only does it become apparent when he opens your door and unclips your seat belt, kissing your lips tenderly, the chapped skin arising you from whatever zoned out, thoughtful state you were in before.

“Come on, let's get you inside sweetheart.” he murmurs, taking your hands in his as he helps you out the car, His chivalry never fails to astound you--he even carries your bag.

“Thanks darlin’.”

You follow him inside, kicking off your shoes routinely, shrugging off your coat to hang on the peg with your name etched above it. What happens next, though, is what shocks you the most: this isn’t part of your normal ‘returning home’ routine, not if you’ve had a day as tiring as this one. You’re neither complaining nor disappointed, though. How can you be when Tom’s lips latch onto your pulse point and he has you writhing in seconds, only his arm around the small of your back there to support you.

In one fell swoop, he has you spun around and pinned to the wall, his figure with lust-blown eyes hovering above you, every line in his face so loving, even the subtle part of his lips. They only do that when he’s so desperate to kiss you he can barely breathe, when he’s so eager to confess his love again and again that all other words are inconsequential. This is your Tom.

“Let’s try for a baby.” he says, completely resolutely, no trace of hesitation anywhere in his perfectly, delectably gruff tone. “I want one, I want us, and I don’t wanna wait to build a family with you.”

You can feel tears begin to form in the corners of your shock-widened eyes. This… this is- What changed his mind? Just hours ago, he was hell bent against the idea, but now? His cheeks are glowing at the mere prospect. Courtesy and patience be damned, that is if you can get the words out with how choked up you are…

“Really? Y-you mean it?”

His faint smile widens into a full blown grin, one that confirms everything for you. This is it, this is the Tom you agreed to marry, the happy Tom, the smiley Tom, the one who can barely contain his excitement even as he nods, a stray lock of dark blonde hair falling into his eyes as he does so.

Reasonably, you can’t be expected to hold back, and when his hair gets long enough that it falls into his eyeline? That’s your main weakness, so who can blame you when you catapult yourself up onto him, your legs joining around his wait, your arms settling around his neck. He holds you right back, catches you like he was already waiting, and pins you against the wall again. Perhaps the serotonin is too much as you both grin into a searing kiss, the every press of his lips against yours holding more passion than you can fathom a cohesive thought about. He’s… incredible.

And besides, with this enthusiasm, his kiss alone leaving you gasping and clutching onto his hair for some kind of grounding, perhaps it’ll be the first time lucky…