#then after- looking at their blog they have so many rants about how they just... do not like kh

[nyctoheart]

sometimes noticing you're blocked by someone gives you a pang, other times you look deeper at their blog and think "oh they did me a favor okay"

[donotpush]

Daily vlog

CW: mpreg, sort of magic pregnancy, birth denial, car birth

"So..." Adam smiled, holding the camera over his head, to get his best angle. "Are we filming Baby #3 birth?"

Adam asked, turning to look at his wife, and at the camera again with another smile without waiting for Alissa’s reply.

His hand traveled to spank Alisa's tight, bare belly, leaving the mark of his palm over the sensitive skin and making her groan slightly. Adam nodded enthusiastically before talking to the camera again. "Of course we are! What do you think, huh? It's a tradition at this point, right, honey?"

Alisa took a deep breath, putting herself together before looking at the camera and giving her best smile. She had been up since 5 am this morning, with a crying baby hanging from her hip and a sick toddler throwing up all day long, and honestly, the last thing she wanted to do right now was to expose herself to the camera.

But Adam insisted. How could they let their followers down without a daily vlog today?

He couldn't, and he was gonna post that vlog. Of course, who wouldn't have the energy to produce, film, edit, and post a vlog when you wake up at 10 am and do exclusively nothing all day?

Alisa knew that it was their job, that the moment they signed up for the influencer life, their whole purpose (and not like she was complaining, there were moms out there that had real jobs and still had to deal with way worse than her) but she did expect some empathy from her husband.

She was about to pop, literally, this baby out. Everything was crazy, from her hormones to the altered routine in the house, but as always, Adam was blissfully unaware of the chaos that surrounded their lives right now.

“So, there you go” Adam winked at the camera, “Actually, our next blog will probably be Baby’s #3 birth, right honey?”

Yes, it was gonna be another birth vlog. This morning when she looked at herself in the mirror, Alissa realized that her stomach had dropped, tight and bloated past her hips, the taut skin stretching to its limits today seemed like it was about to burst.

So, yes, the next video on their channel Alissa was almost 100% sure it was gonna be a birth vlog.

“...maybe.”

She really wished that this time they could’ve done something a bit more… conventional. Private, away from all the cameras and views. With their last baby, Adam had the fucking camera in her face the whole process. From the moment she woke up to contractions to the moment she popped out the kid in the birthing tub. This time, she wasn’t in the mood for all that, no matter how many views it would give them.

Adam went on, ranting about something and talking about their sponsor they got earlier in the month, a really bad marketing job for a really bad product, but Alisa didn’t hear him because Ryatt was getting something she shouldn’t have inside her mouth. The blonde groaned as she clumsily tried to kneel down, reaching over her huge stomach to take the toy out of the baby’s sticky hand.

“Adam, help me here” she breathed, pointing to the baby with her hand.

Adam gave her a look, and outside of the camera frame, signaled her to wait. He talked about another one of their sponsors, said goodbye to their subscribers and their classic outro line (family always first, and y’all are family) to their subscribers, and just then walked over to help her after he turned the camera off.

“God, fuck…!” she groaned, holding onto her stomach as she struggled to stand up straight.

“Language” Adam raised an eyebrow, pointing at Ryatt with his head.

“Bullspit, I’m so darn over with this”, pointing to herself, Alisa looked down at her gravid stomach. “I’m so fucking done. I can’t wait to get this baby out of me and… And I told you I would prefer to keep his birth private, Adam”

The tone wasn’t stern or accusative, just done— deep down, Alisa knew her husband was going to do whatever he wanted anyway. Little choice she had.

“I know, I know…” Adam shrugged, his eyebrows raising and his mouth scrunching up.

He knew, of course, he did, but to be honest, he didn’t care enough. His wife was being dramatic as if she hadn’t gone over with this two times already. But he knew that he had to add something to fill the silence that followed, he always did have something to say.

“If I could, babe, I would carry our baby for you” he sighed dramatically, turning around and away from his wife. “Actually, I wish I could be pregnant instead of you right now, honey…”

His words were left hanging in the air as Adam disappeared into the hallway to the kitchen, ready to grab a beer and sit down on the couch to relax for a while before getting to edit.

Actually, I wish I could be pregnant instead of you right now.

Alisa stared at his back as he disappeared into the kitchen. His nice legs and his toned arms, his perfect back and she couldn’t see the six-pack, but it was there. Because Adam didn’t have to carry two kids, to gain weight and to lose weight, to lose his six-pack or to see his whole body change in a matter of months.

It wasn't him who had to endure the contractions, the labor, or the long hospital nights while waiting to be able to spread his legs open and push.

He didn’t wish he could be pregnant. Oh, but Alisa did.

***

Alisa made breakfast, did laundry, got through the morning with two kids under 5 and all while dealing with those awful cramps that kept interrupting her. They weren't contractions, she knew those pretty well, but they were the foreword of a long story.

Adam? He edited their latest video and went to take a nap on the couch.

Without opening his eyes, Adam let out a small groan and tilted his head to hide his face against one of the cushions. Something had interrupted his sleep, but he didn’t hear Ryatt's cries or Bobby playing loudly somewhere in the house, nor his wife complaining about something.

So he did what everyone would do, he didn’t even bother fully opening his eyes and tried to go fall back into a deep slumber.

But something was off. His head was feeling dizzy and his whole body was… acting funny. An overall feeling of being sick, something he ate, probably.

He shifted, moving his hips to turn to his side, and he frowned when he felt something in his stomach move. With a groan, the hand that rested between his thighs slid off from there to move to his abs, rubbing the soft spot trying to ease whatever was grumbling inside his tummy.

Soft, a bit harder if he pressed down. But it didn’t have to be soft, he hit the gym 6 days a week and had washboard abs, he was the envy of all the suburban dads in their neighborhood. Suddenly, his stomach fussed again, and this time it came accompanied by a cold free of air brushing against his skin, making him shiver.

Half asleep, fighting to pull a strand of consciousness and get himself up fully, Adam’s features turned into a confused grimace as his mind finished coming back to this reality. When he finally opened his blue eyes, covering his face with his hands to dismiss the headache that the sunlight from the windows gave him, he immediately knew something wasn’t right.

His free hand was still rubbing over his stomach, and it was still… It was round. Round and firm, the protuberance that rested under the palm of his hand.

“What…?” Adam mumbled, confusion slowly taking over his sleepiness and pulling him back to reality.

He was wide awake now, his body and mind alert. When he looked down at himself, the scream of horror that left his lips almost deafened him, leaving his eardrums ringing loudly and his heart hammering against his chest.

It felt cold. The cold breeze brushing against his skin because his white shirt was now all lifted over to his chest, exposing his warm skin to the air. His shirt was lifted because where it was supposed to be a flat, toned stomach, now there was a fat, round belly, nothing like what he had ever seen before.

He must have eaten something bad, something that made him bloat and just feel weird overall, but bloat like this?

In front of him, his stomach wasn't just bloated, it felt tight and hot at the touch and the skin was itchy, stretched to the limit in what seemed to be the few hours he was asleep. His abs were gone, and now a gravid mount of flesh sat there, huge and tender.

From confusion, Adam's mind raced to fear, because there was no logical or reasonable explanation to any of this. If it was something he ate, then it was something that made him terribly wrong and he probably should head to the doctor ASAP.

But, deep down, Adam knew it wasn't something he ate. Under a thinning layer of denial, he knew.

His chest wrenched with his agitated breaths, and Adam tried to lift himself up from the couch. He failed, not used to the weight that he carried now on his middle (God, he was heavier now) and the only thing he could do was to lay there for a few seconds, staring down.

At his belly.

He felt like he needed to puke when unexpectedly something inside him squirmed.

He closed his eyes tightly to avoid nausea rising up in his throat, and the deprivation of one of his senses seemed to whip up the other ones. He could feel how hot the skin that covered his now rounded stomach was, how hot his body was, how heavy he felt and how something was squirming inside him.

His left hand moved over his stomach, right under his left rib, and he swallowed. As soon as his hand pressed down against the tense flesh, another tiny hand pressed back from the inside.

"Fuck, fuck fuck..." gripping at the couch's back, a loud moan escaped from his lips as he curled his fingers around the fabric above the couch, holding onto it desperately, lifting himself up.

It was, to say at least, weird to carry himself around now. The few seconds that he ran, well, more like waddled, towards the bathroom were something. So this was what it was like?

The image in the mirror proved what Adam already knew.

I wish I could be pregnant.

He stared at his reflection, turning to the side to let his eyes travel from the top of his head to his middle, then turned to his other side and to the front again. His hand moved to rest on top of his stomach as if he needed another confirmation that it was there and it was real.

He thought about it for a moment, before he pinched the tight skin of his belly. He hoped he would wake up, there was a small part of him that still hoped this was just a bad dream and his mind was doing some crazy tricks while his real body was still asleep on the couch. But he was awake.

The waistband of his sweatpants moved down a centimeter. He looked down, his eyes wide open as he witnessed right in front of him how his stomach swelled, the skin extended and shifting as his stomach grew in size.

***

The front door opened, and Bobby rushed in, throwing his frog backpack next to the door before Alisa followed him with Ryatt clinging to her hip. Adam made his way to her as quickly as he could.

“Oh! Mommy, look!” Bobby shouted as soon as he saw him, his little finger pointing to Adam’s gravid stomach. “Daddy has Little brother now! Look!”

But Adam couldn't even stop to look at him, because he could only focus on the fact that where Alisa was supposed to have a nine-month overdue belly, there was just a flat stomach. Fuck.

They stood in front of each other, Alisa looked at him, then down at his belly, and then up at him again.

“Well, I guess wishes do come true, honey!” The tone was so cheerful that it made Adam’s blood boil.

Probably…his hormones messing with him? As if that was the least of his problems. A cramp took over him, painful enough to bring a frown to his face and make him rub the side of his belly.

“We need to go to the hospital!”

“Why the rush?”

A dark spot started to spread all over Adam’s grey sweatpants as a gush of amniotic fluid came out of him.

“My…your…my water just broke!”

“You need to change, and we need to take the kids to my mom’s house…”

“Why are you so calm?”

“Relax, honey” she sighed “I have done this two times already! It’s gonna be just fine. You have to change, go get the hospital bag, oh, and of course get the camera!”

“We are not… fuck… filming this” he breathed, gripping the table next to him when another sharp pain took over him.

“What do you mean?” Alisa frowned as she picked up Bobby's backpack again “It's a tradition at this point. Of course, we're filming. It’s going to be a hit.”

Besides the fact that all of this escaped all logic and reason, there was a tangible reality. Something that was happening right here, right now, and it was the fact that Adam was in labor. Didn't matter how much he tried to deny what was going on, to say he was still dreaming, because the pains that were shooting through his middle, contracting the muscles and making him whine felt very real and were happening, quicker and faster every minute.

He took a deep breath, moving his hand under his belly to lift it slightly, hoping to ease the pain or the pressure that was starting to build up on his hips, but it didn’t work. He wasn't sure how much time he had before it got actually serious, but he did know that after his water broke, it was little.

**

“Turn that off…” Adam titled the camera that rested on the car seat cup holder away, his free hand flying to wipe sweat from his forehead. “Oh, fuck…”

Alisa tilted the camera back to its original position. Her husband shifted on the passenger's seats, his both hands now busy rubbing the contracting bump that rested between his open thighs.

Well, at least now he knew that contractions were more painful than a kick in the balls.

“Oh, oh, ah!” He cried out, his body tightening up, and a low groan leaving him as he leaned forward pressing his palms against the dashboard and panting heavily. “Fuck, I need you to… ugh… I need you to drive faster, honey.”

“Babe, I’m going as fast as I can,” Alisa replied, looking at him through the corner of her eye. “Just breathe, okay?”

Looking outside the window, Adam tried to find a distraction. Anything, really, that made him not think about the increasing pressure that was building between his legs and about how low the baby was.

He shifted in his seat, his hips swinging back and front trying to find a spot that didn't make him feel so miserable. Placing a hand on the side of the seat and another on the grab handle, Adam leaned forward and spread his legs as another loud grunt escaped his lips, his eyes closing tight and his breath picking up again when another tight contraction hit him.

He tried breathing, in and out just as he would tell Alisa to do, but it wasn’t doing shit.

The heavy weight on his hips and pelvis was getting closer and closer to coming out. Adam didn’t want it to come out. At least not here, in the fucking car in the middle of the road.

“We’re five minutes away from the hospital” Alisa reassured, her hand patting his tense thigh. “Just breathe”

“I don’t… ughn, fuck! I don’t know if I can… oh… hold it in that much longer” Adam panted, moving to unclasp the seatbelt that now pressed uncomfortably against his stomach. “Fuck, there’s pressure. It feels like… I have to push!”

“How do you even know that you have to push?” Stopping at a red light, Alissa raised both eyebrows before tilting to face him.

“Because it’s coming out!” Adam cried, moving back on his seat to prop up both feet against the dashboard, throwing his head back as he moaned.

“Just breathe. We’re almost there”

Just breathe. We’re almost there. The words were an echo, and Adam was sure that he said those exact phrases before, before the births of their two kids, in this exact same car. But he didn’t realize how useless, how annoying having someone repeating just calm down was.

God, fuck, he wondered how Alissa didn’t just slap him those times. If anyone was going to tell him to calm the fuck down again, he was going to kill someone.

His murder instincts were quickly dismissed when he closed his eyes, his hands moving to slide under his belly and lifting it slightly, as if it could help to ease the pressure on his pelvis. With a cry, he shifted forward, now moving his hands to slide under his thighs, lifting his hips from the car seat.

It was coming. Now. And out.

He could feel his own body pushing against his wishes, and the more he tried to avoid it, the worse it was, the baby helpless making its way down his pelvis and towards his hole. It felt as if at the first bump Alisa hit on the road the baby would just pop out of him.

He didn’t notice when he pushed back in the seat, breathing heavily through his nose as he pressed himself down against the seat, trying to prevent anything from coming out.

But it was useless because his commitment lasted little when his brain was overwhelmed by the urge to just allow his body to do what it had to do. To push.

The baby’s head was right there. Adam’s hand slid between his legs, the palm of his hand pressing against his bulging hole, the head sitting behind his entrance and almost ready to start crowning. Almost out of him.

“…fuck!” he writhed, gritting his teeth as he kicked against the car floor. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

The fingers of his free hand gripped at the grab handle, knuckles turning white, and his other hand was busy pressing against his hole, trying to keep the head from coming any further. It was useless because the head was still pushing its way down, out of him on its own.

He could feel the bulge against his palm, growing ever so slowly as Alissa pressed her foot on the pedals. Adam threw his head back, closing his eyes shut and trying to focus on his breath. The same advice he always gave: breathe.

His chest rose slowly as he inhaled, then shakily exhaled through his closed lips. It should be fine, he just had to breathe —in and out and counting to five— focus on remaining calm, and he could just make it to the hospital. They were just a few minutes away, all he had to do was… push.

“Oh, fuck, it’s coming!” he screamed, kicking his feet in the air, his hips shifting forwards and to the seat edge. “Honey, Alissa, it’s right there”

Alissa tilted her head, looking away from the road for a brief moment to face her husband. She found herself contemplating an image that, deep down in her stomach, in a very hidden spot and a very small dose, made her happy: she got exactly what she wanted. Her husband going through all of the wonderful miracles of birth.

Adam panted, the tense orb his stomach had become contracting and tensing in front of him, his hands gripping at the taunt red skin, furiously trying to relieve the pain or the pressure, his body almost shaking by the urge of pushing the baby that was starting to crown. His face was red and sweaty, hands and all of his body straining and tense.

Alissa, rightfully, stopped at a red light, a bunch of cars passing in front of them.

“Don’t stop, fuck, it’s…!” Adam shouted, but then his words became a muffled groan as he gritted his teeth, pushing his chin to his chest. “I can’t hold it in, I’m pushing!”

Even against his wishes, his body was pushing. Adam found himself trying to hold the baby in, to not give in to the urge, but his body was pushing. His stomach contracted and he found himself tensing, chin to chest, and gripping at the grab handle as he pushed. He counted to three and pushed again when another cramp took over him.

“Fuck!” he shouted, feeling the head stretching him open, making its way out. Adam reached with a free hand to press his hand over his wet, birth-fluid-stained shorts, only to feel the start of a bulge in his pants.

The pressure of the head right about to crown was hell. It only made him want to push to get over it, to push more to get the head to a full crown and get rid of the uncomfortable feeling, but god fuck he didn’t want to give birth to this baby in the car.

“It’s crowning, the head’s-... nhgn, what am I supposed to do!?” it was more a whimper than a question, and Adam found himself kicking in the air, biting his lower lips until he almost drew blood. “Shit, shit, shit…! Ughn!”

“I don’t know!” Alissa stepped on the gas and accelerated. “Don’t push! Just… wait! We’re almost there, just five minutes away from the hospital.”

Adam nodded, then shook his head, both hands moving to cup the underside of his belly, trying to relieve the pressure that was weighing him down. It didn’t work, and he found himself trying to contain a moan when another contraction rippled through his body, a gush of amniotic fluid rushing from between his legs and dripping to the car floor.

His hips jerked frantically as he rocked forth and back slightly, trying to find any angle that was comfortable for him to keep this baby in, but it was terribly useless because, with every movement of his body, the baby's head seemed to come closer and closer to a full crown.

“Ughn…!” he moaned, his fingers gracelessly trying to slide under the hem of his pants in order to pull them down. The baby was coming. “Fuck, it’s coming, I’m pushing….!”

His finger’s ministrations were interrupted when he interrupted when another contraction took over him, all of his focus on pushing. He gripped the sides of his belly, leaving white marks on the red skin, as he closed his eyes and whimpered.

“Oh, oh– it’s out, the head’s out!”

It wasn’t necessary for him to say it out loud because Alissa’s attention was dangerously divided between looking at the road and staring down between her husband's legs. His pants were dark and wet, stained by amniotic fluid, and the baby’s head bulged out of them almost obscenely -–god, it was huge—, only contained from coming further by the fabric of the pants.

“Fuck— I need to push, I need to push, I’m pushing!” he moaned, throwing his head back against the car seat and jerking his hips forward, his hands desperately trying to undo his shorts. “Ughn…the…mhgm…pants! Help me!”

“I can’t, hands at 9 and 3!”

With a loud whimper, Adam finally managed to pull his shorts down enough to allow the baby’s head to pop out of him free, a gush of fluid dampening his seat as the head dangled between his legs. His body shook at the feeling of the head stretching him open on its biggest point, and then the relief when it was finally out. Alissa stared in horror as her husband held the baby’s head in hand with one hand between his legs.

Alissa reached a hand to help Adam slide his pants down more, his body contorting as he pulled forward, pushing his hips towards the free space of whatever was left in the car. Now with his pants to his ankles, his body tensed once again, and he squirmed on his seat as he focused on the next contraction that rippled through his body.

“...fuck, nhgn!” his face became red as his feet kicked the car floor, kicking and screaming as he pushed. “Nhgn!”

With his next push, the baby’s body almost came shooting out of him. He screamed in pain as he felt the body coming out of him, the shoulders being even worse than the head. But before he could realize, it was over. A second later he heard a heavy cry, and the newborn resting against his chest.

His body slumped against the seat. He looked outside the windows, seeing the well known entrance of the hospital as Alissa parked the car, parking it at the nearest spot available. Before unclasping her seatbelt, Alissa reached to grab the videocamera. Adam stared at it before he spoke.

"You filmed it, right?”

[shuttershocky]

this overwatch 2 shit has GOT to be illegal right? I mean, they sold the game on the promise of PvE and now they cancel it. This better earn them a false advertising charge

And the wildest part is that you can't even play Overwatch 1 anymore.

Anyone who's followed this blog long enough has probably seen me post a rant about how terrible video games are at media preservation, and how we should preserve games (even ones we don't like) to be playable in some manner long after the developers take the servers offline because games are art and deserve to be able to be experienced by the future long after they've been discarded by their makers as a product.

You can't do that anymore with Overwatch 1, a game that wasn't even free to play.

People paid 40$ in 2016, 60$ if they went for the deluxe edition, to play Overwatch. New heroes, maps, etc were promised to come as free updates, instantly accessible for anyone to play without grinding or microtransactions (though there were mtx for cosmetics) and that the game would be supported for many years.

This was one of the many reasons why Overwatch back then absorbed a large part of TF2's playerbase: TF2 had been chugging along since 2007, at the 8-9 year point its updates were winding down and people have accepted it was finally hitting the end of tis life, and were looking for a new cartoon team shooter that would last for years. OW was not TF2's successor and was never intended to be, but that promise of many years of free support was a major part of why people gave it a chance just the same.

And then just 3 years later in 2019 they announced Overwatch 2, a game that looked really, really similar to Overwatch 1, except it was going to have the actual story missions via PvE mode that Overwatch 1 didn't have. They said there would be enough new things to justify the '2', and that people who bought Overwatch 1 need not worry about their investment in the first game.

And then it turned out what they meant by that was that they were killing Overwatch 1 by closing its servers, forcing everyone to move over to Overwatch 2, a Free to Play game where you had to grind to unlock the new heroes (people who bought OW1 instantly had the new hero unlocked but come on), was chock full of the usual Free to Play engagement mechanics, and changed the 6v6 format to 5v5, if you had a full squad of friends before, you had to tell one guy to get fucked.

I think the worst part was that when people were understandably angry that Overwatch 2's actual changes from the original were almost all monetization based, games journalists that pressed Blizzard on why players now had to grind a battlepass for heroes, which Overwatch 1 had always given for free, were met with a "well, heroes are the strongest engagement point for our players" type of deflection where they didn't even try to hide their reasons behind something respectable.

Now they're announcing that OW2's PvE mode, the whole (public) reason they made OW2 a sequel instead of an update to OW1, isn't even happening anymore, and Overwatch 1's original 6v6 remains dead and inaccessible.

I didn't like Overwatch 1. I was really hyped for it when it came out, but found myself really disliking the gameplay (especially on its map design which I thought was terrible) which only worsened with its creative and balancing direction until I lost interest in only a few weeks.

Still, killing OW1 to force all players to move to OW2's free to play model was inexcusable. All art must be preserved in some manner, even ones we don't think are good enough to be worth preserving. Overwatch in particular was so massive in 2016-2018 that to kill it is to make inaccessible the source material of a kajillion other pieces of art from those years.

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

Life's Too Short - Rooster

Pairing: Rooster / GN!Reader

Length: 1.3k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only

Warnings: Mentions of Toxic Work Environment; Shitty Coworkers; Crying; Angst; Career Change; Gender Neutral Reader; No Use of Y/N; No Physical Description of Reader

Summary: Your life has been completely taken over by your toxic job. Rooster gives you the support you need to leave it behind.

Master List

Driving to meet your boyfriend for dinner after work, you sniffled and tried to hold your composure. You didn’t want to spend your entire time with Bradley just ranting about the assholes who were currently making your life a living hell, but it felt like the second that you started talking about work, you couldn’t stop. 

Your whole life was just becoming consumed by it, and you just felt powerless to stop it.

Parking next to the Bronco, you got out of your car and walked down to where Bradley was waiting for you with a bag of takeout. He looked up and smiled when he saw you approach, but when he noticed your expression, he quickly stood up.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” you told him, trying to be mindful of how much energy you expended on work. Bradley reached out and gently grabbed your shoulders, causing you to look at him, still forcing yourself to try to hold it in. “I’m fine.” 

“No, you’re not,” he insisted, which made your lips wobble. “What happened?” 

Breaking down and rambling in an octave that you weren’t quite sure was audible to the human ear, you collapsed against your boyfriend. Bradley wrapped you in his arms and gave you a squeeze, supporting you as you just let it all out, like the dam just burst. 

“And they just blow up at me for the stupidest little things while I’m busting my ass and working longer hours to get all of the work done and I just can’t do it anymore!” you sobbed, making Bradley’s hold on you tighten. “I’m so tired, Brad. I’m so fucking tired.” 

Bradley let out get it all out, simply giving you the support that you needed in that moment. Leading you down to the picnic blanket that he set out for the two of you, Bradley gave you a water bottle and continued to hold you until you stopped shaking. Pressing a kiss to your neck, he rubbed his thumb on your hip.

“I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back,” you repeated, burying your face further into Bradley’s chest. 

“So don’t,” Bradley stated, causing you to pick your head up.

“It’s not that simple,” you sighed, feeling your headache building. 

“Why not?”

“I need to make rent. And pay for food to eat and everything else.” 

“I know that, but . . . I’m really worried about you,” Bradley replied softly.

“I know,” you returned, causing Bradley to shake his head.

“I don’t think you do.” Gently nudging your chin up so that you looked at him, Bradley added softly, “Baby, I don’t want to see you like this every day. And I’m honestly more worried about the nights where you go home to your apartment without me.” 

“I’ve tried applying for other jobs, but it just hasn’t gone anywhere,” you reminded him. 

“I know that, but, Baby, I’m worried about you. You’re not yourself. You’re not living because you’re just consumed by this shit—and it’s not your fault. You need to get out.” He wiped your tears away gently. “How much do you have saved up?”

“Nothing crazy.” 

“Well, how many months do you think you could make it without a paycheck?” 

“I don’t know. Three?” 

“Alright, well, if you quit your job tomorrow, you have three months to find a new job. That’s completely doable.” 

“But what if it’s not?”

“You can move in with me,” Bradley stated, causing you to turn back to him. “I’ll support you.” 

“I can’t ask you to do that, Brad.” 

“Why not?”

“It’s . . .” you trailed off, trying and failing at coming up with a reason.

“It’s?” Bradley pressed, causing you to get emotional again.

“You’d really let me move in with you?”

“I want you to move in with me,” Bradley stated, giving your hips a loving squeeze. “I love you. And I want to see you happy and being your normal self. Life is too goddamn short to let those assholes break you down.”

You struggled to not cry again from the emotion of the moment. Wrapping your arms around Bradley’s shoulders, you pressed yourself against him, nearly knocking the two of you over. He pressed a kiss to your head as you buried your face in his neck.

“You win best boyfriend,” you joked, causing Bradley to scoff.

“Of course, I win best boyfriend. Who was my competition?” 

“I don’t know,” you mused, picking your head up. 

Cupping his cheeks, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips before resting your head on his shoulder again. You let out a breath, thinking through everything. Bradley gave you some space, occasionally rubbing your thigh or arm, but otherwise remaining quiet. 

“I’m going to do it,” you stated, digging your fingers into his shirt. “I’m going to finally do it.” 

~~~~~

Two Weeks Later . . . 

“Are you sure that there’s nothing that we can offer to keep you here?” your manager asked as you cleaned up your desk. 

“Nope,” you replied with fake niceness. “Thank you though.” 

Making sure that you had everything, you strutted past your asshole manager and the office bitches who terrorized you for too goddamn long. Well, all of the time that they used to scold you, send you passive aggressive or just outright aggressive emails, and mock you in front of your coworkers would now have to be used to do your job. 

And you may or may not have deleted or shredded all of the personal notes and guides for how to do your specific job. But what were they going to do about it? Fire you?

Walking out of the building with your head held high, you practically beamed when you spotted Bradley standing in the parking lot. He leaned back against the Bronco with his broad arms folded against his chest, looking like a dream. You put your bag and box in the trunk before nearly leaping into his arms. 

“You did it,” Bradley praised you as you pressed a kiss to his lips. 

“I did it,” you agreed, so excited. “I’m free.” 

“Let’s go celebrate then,” Bradley offered, pulling open the door to the passenger side for you. “Get in, Roomie.” 

Pressing one last victorious kiss to his lips, you slid into the Bronco. Bradley hopped in on the other side and started the car. Pulling away from the building that held a mountain of negative emotions for you for the very last time, you held your hands up and let out a cheer, causing Bradley to crack up. 

Grabbing your hand, he threaded your fingers together and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand. When the two of you came to a stoplight, you leaned over and pressed an extended kiss to his lips. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

A.N. This was something I wrote right after work one day because I wish I had a Rooster to give me this kind of support.

[rashomonss]

A HUMANS WRATH

Part XV

previous part

taglist: @miridiums-writing, @zerchila, @aeongiies, @xmoogx, @coffeeandtealol, @food-lover9000, @l0diluvs, @vichsy, @valeriele3, @entolomaeden, @acaribeau, @arcayia, @jessiegerl, @capricorn-anon, @crescentworld, @g-l-1-t-c-h-3-r, @chumbinhoeba, @chaos-n-kindness, @strawberryfire17, @zenxvii, @misscaller06, @luminarysol, @simpinginthecorner, @your-next-daydream, @bontensbabygirl, @crxwned-mxnarch, @ibtisam-aran, @mochicurls21, @rxsehxney, @xpixie, @ihatecorns, @hello-gloomy, @lunarloathsome, @crazytacokoala, @levia-chan, @bunny-masks-blog

a/n: hey y'all!! yay i finally updated haha….im so sorry it took so long if you’ve been keeping up with my other posts you’ll know that february was not good to me haha

also i wanted to let y’all know that we’re finally reaching the end of this story!! i plan on only making a few more chapters then i believe that’ll be all!

lastly thanks for all y’all’s patience and continued support I love reading every one of y’all’s comments and theories, it means the world! love y'all ♡

warnings: violence, fighting, angst

express just how you feel, don’t bottle it up anymore

“MC how are you? Even though I previously saw you everyday I’ve missed this you” Diavolo said with a bright smile as you joined him for breakfast. No thanks to Barbatos’ constant pestering.

You gave him a polite smile and nod as a response. It was easy enough to come up with a basic answer that you were fine, even if that wasn’t the case at all.

However as he ranted on about missing you and what activities he’d enjoy doing with you after he finished his paperwork you couldn’t help but feel nauseous.

After all he dislocated your shoulder the other day and now he was acting as if everything was perfectly fine?

Even if it was another version of him it was still him in a sense, which filled you with unease. If that version of him could do something that significant to you without so much as a thought then you had every right to be worried.

Is this how the other version of you felt?

Is that why they hated being touched by any demons?

Another hearty laugh broke out sending a chill down your spine. It reminded you of when he cornered you in the hallway as you tried to escape.

“MC are you sure you’re feeling okay? You look a little pale?”

You went to nod but your body betrayed you. A new wave of nausea washed over you and you felt bile rise up in your throat.

“MC…?” Barbatos questioned as he moved closer to you when you ignored Diavolo’s question.

Your fingers gripped the soft tablecloth as you tried to ground yourself. If anything you refused to lose your stomach in front of them.

Both demons looked at each other worryingly and Barbatos went to place a hand on your shoulder for comfort. Immediately you jolted in response and slapped his hand away as a sensation of fear became present in the pit of your stomach.

You had no idea where it came from, much less why you were scared when the butler reached out to help you. But you did know one thing, you didn’t want anyone touching you.

“Don’t touch me!” you yelled.

Your tone of voice startled him and Diavolo but mainly you as well. What was going on with you?

You never acted like this before, even when staying in the other timeline for so long. So why now? Why was everything anyone was doing so triggering you in any sort of way?

“I apologize…I didn't mean to upset you, I only wanted to check if you were okay,” Barbatos replied as he backed off. Even though he didn’t bother showing it, he was clearly worried about your current mental state. It appeared to be out of control ever since you returned. Which was another point he’d have to bring up with him later, since many instructions weren’t followed.

“…I’m…heading back to bed” you replied as you swiftly stood up and made your way to the door.

“But…you just woke up” Diavolo said softly but you were well out of range for his voice to actually reach you.

With a sigh the butler looked to his lord then to the floor. Maybe they weren’t the right demons to welcome you back after being gone for such a decent amount of time. It was better if you were around demons you were used to, ones that were comforting.

So he picked up his D.D.D and quickly called the first demon that came to mind.

___

Seven bodies rushed towards you faster than you could process and some large beautiful roses were shoved in your face as you tried to process everything that was going on.

All seven of your demons began talking at once and exclaimed how much they had missed you.

“Oh MC! I can’t believe you’re back, I’ve missed you so so so terribly” Asmo cried as he clung onto your shoulder.

“Hey let go of them!” Mammon yelled in your ear as he tried yanking you away from Asmo.

“Stop pushing” Belphie groaned as he hugged your frame from behind.

“Mammon stop yelling so loudly” Levi shouted out as he was hugging you from the same side Asmo was.

The other three demons who weren’t suffocating you were also arguing with their brother as they clung onto you. Yelling and shouting could be heard from all around you as you stayed in place watching all seven of them yell back and forth like children.

It was too overwhelming. The yelling in your ear, the way one would hold you tighter if they got mad, the way four of them were putting all of their body weight on you was too much for your liking. And the fact the other three were aggravating the four who were holding onto you.

You felt so suffocated.

You were suffocated in your own timeline due to your willingness to indulge all of the seven demons you lived with.

You were suffocated in the other timeline because you decided to show some demons some kindness they hadn’t experienced for a very long time. Look where that got you. A dislocated shoulder and some unresolved issues that you refused to acknowledge.

You were suffocated with the prince and his butler. They always were on some type of schedule, and when you didn’t follow what Diavolo wanted at that very second, you would never hear the end of it from Barbatos.

Why was everyone so demanding?

God forbid you do something for yourself for once.

You struggled in their grip and tried to get their attention to possibly settle down. The constant loud yelling was getting you more agitated by the minute and frankly you were getting a headache.

Just as you were about to speak someone yelled over you and a fight between two of them broke out. Since you were absolutely fed up with it you shouted for all of them to shut up and pushed them off of you.

Each of the seven demons shut their mouth in an instant and the prince and butler looked at you with a worried expression. Due to that being the same tone of voice you used with Barbatos earlier he knew that something was obviously wrong.

Diavolo then spoke up for you as he walked over to the brothers. “Don’t mind them, a lot is on their mind right now especially since they’ve dealt with so much physically and emotionally these past couple days. So please give MC some space to relax”

You in turn shot him a glare. “I’m perfectly fine. However I don’t appreciate it when someone is screaming in my ear and putting all their weight on me while others are fighting in the background like children”

“How about you head back to the House of Lamentation. A lot is on your mind MC, it would do you good to go rest in a place you’re comfortable and familiar with” Barbatos then added trying his best to ease the tension in the room and change the topic as well.

With a nod you departed with the brothers about fifteen minutes later for a silent trip to the House of Lamentation. Each of them were too worried to bother you so they all left you to do your own thing when you all got home.

However Mammon was still going to try to comfort you in his own way.

“Hey MC, ya wanna hang out and watch a movie? I got a few in my room and we can relax” he asked with a soft smile as she walked up behind you.

“Thanks but I’d rather rest right now, maybe later” and before he could even finish you were off.

It was odd, during any other time you would’ve enjoyed hanging out and relaxing in his room like you used to but as of now you really wanted to just be by yourself.

So quietly you made your way to your room and when you opened the door you were absolutely applauded by the way it looked.

Everything was everywhere and the decorations you had of you and your demons were ripped and taken down. Clean clothes were piled onto a chair and your bed was an absolute mess as a few shits and things littered the floor.

However you were too tired to take care of it at the moment. Due to how emotional exhausted you were a nap sounded lovey so you plopped down and in minutes you were out.

___

Around late afternoon you had walked into the kitchen to grab a snack since you didn’t exactly have much of an appetite after everything that had happened in the past two days. Surprisingly enough two demons were already occupying the kitchen when you arrived, one gossiped and the other listened even though he was believably bored.

“MC” Satan said with a smile, he was very grateful that someone showed up to stop Asmo’s rambling.

With a nod you dug through the fridge and grabbed something to eat and walked over to the two hesitantly.

“What are you both talking about?” You asked after they stayed silent and smiled at you.

Amso was the first to perk up and tell you. “Well we were just talking about some new gossip about this one actor and her husband, some people we know and you…well the other you”

“The other me?” You asked

“Yeah the one you switched with remember.” Satan added.

You nodded and then looked at them before responding. Just how did the other version of you act? Were they like the other Barbatos said? Angry, stubborn, and everything. Did they treat your demons like how they’d treated theirs? So many questions ran through your head at once, but you opted for only asking a basic one.

“So just how was the other version of me?”

“They were a bit intense at first…no I take it back they were really intense at first, but in reality they only wanted one thing in the end then they finally were content” Asmo said as he reapplied some lipstick to his lips.

“Really what did they want?” You asked, now interested in the other versions' motives.

“They just wanted an apology. After Belphie gave them an honest heart to heart in the planetarium they finally calmed down and we were able to be civil with them” Asmo explained.

“Yeah and they even started opening up a bit, although they were exactly like you so learning about what they liked was cute since we already know what you enjoy” Satan added with a smirk.

You tuned out the rest of the conversation they were having with you as you focused on the said “apology” Belphie gave the other version of you.

So it was true and they weren’t lying when they talked to you previously in the attic. Somehow that ticked you off even more.

“Oh yeah and we’re so sorry you had to go through all that crazy timeline stuff dear, I bet it’s been so exhausting huh?” Asmo asked as he rubbed your back.

“Uh huh” you replied and then brushed him off as you excused yourself out of the kitchen without another word, causing the two demons to look at you with a slightly confused expression.

Silently you paced around the house for a bit as you rethought about what the two of them said. With a sigh you ventured into the common room and stared at the fireplace. So you were worth a basic sorry but not one that took responsibility for all the damage they caused you?

It’s not as if their words actually meant anything. Honestly if they had been keen on sweeping the whole incident under the rug then why even offer the other version of you an apology?

They did it to better help them heal?

Bullshit.

What about you?

How come they could do that for anyone else other than you?

When you’ve helped them so much.

Your rage and jealousy had been bubbling up inside you for so long that it finally reached its breaking point.

If anyone was supposed to receive any words or actions of their forgiveness it should’ve been you and you were tired of pretending you didn’t deserve anything less than that.

In a rage you trashed the common room as Asmo and Satan watched in horror since they just happened to walk by.

They rushed to try and stop you but you used your pact to stop them in place as you broke everything in sight. The sound of yelling and glass breaking alerted all the other demons in the house and soon the rest of them watched in awe as you demolished anything in your path.

Mammon ran to you as you ripped the roses they all bought for you and tore them to shreds right in front of them. When he reached you he grabbed you by the arm and you shoved him away and yelled at him in response.

They all just kept getting in your way, it was so unbearable.

As the six demons froze in place due to their activated pacts you picked up one of the large vases Lucifer loved and proceeded to lift it up to throw at them.

“This is all your fault! Look at what you’ve done to me” you screamed out to the six demons standing in front of you. Your cry was not one of just anger, they could sense the sorrow in your voice. The way it cracked and longed to just be healed.

You wanted someone to comfort you and the ability for someone, anyone honestly to just acknowledge what had happened to you. Maybe then if they did you could finally feel like your feelings were valid, rather than unnecessary and pointless.

Fresh tears fueled by pure anger and frustration fell from your eyes as you got ready to swing the vase at the six of them. That was until the youngest brother rushed in front of his brothers and spoke.

“This is my fault MC, please don’t take it out on my brothers” Belphie said as he stepped in front of the six of them, shielding them with his body.

“No it’s not just your fault. It’s all of your faults. Don’t feel too special Belphie, you're not the only one out of your brothers who has tried to kill me.” you spat out.

“Each of you have threatened to end my life at least once ever since I’ve been here, and believe me I haven’t forgotten a single moment of it. Unlike before I continued to ignore what happened just like all of you but I’m fed up now.”

The seven demons looked at themselves then back at you and sighed.

“MC we’re truly sorry, you know we-“ Lucifer began.

“I don’t want your apology. It means nothing to me anymore. Especially since you can go and hand it out to whoever now” you replied swiftly, cutting him off in the process.

“Then if I truly can’t make you believe me I’ll show you.” Belphie then said quickly.

“And how do you expect to do that?” You asked, crossing your arms in front of your body.

“Take it out on me.”

“Excuse me?”

“All of your anger, everything you’ve had building up. Punch me, hit me, choke me, do whatever you need to do so that you don’t have to feel this way. I know my apology means nothing to you, and believe me this is much more selfish of me to ask you to do this but I want to make it up to you MC. Even if you’ll hate me for the rest of your life I want you to get the closure you deserve. I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you. For as long as I live”

Your eyes widened slightly as you looked at him in shock. You hadn’t expected him to actually respond like that, much less take responsibility for everything that had happened.

“Belphie-!” Beel began, he was still standing back with the others, but the worried look on his face was apparent as he watched his twin pour his heart out to the person they both cherished.

Belphie shook his head at his twin then looked back towards you. “I promise MC, I’ll show you how much of a better demon I can be. So go ahead”

The six demons behind you watched as you slowly approached the youngest hesitantly. Surprisingly enough he still had the same soft smile on his face as he watched you come closer.

Then you swung.

With a swift punch to the face, right on the nose Belphie stumbled back and grabbed his face as a small drop of blood pooled out.

You swung again.

And again,

And again.

As you watched the youngest fall to the floor you continued. And for some odd reason you didn’t feel bad about how beat up he was beginning to look.

Instead you finally felt a form of closure for the first time.

[emo-trash101]

HELLO HELLO ONYX,DEARIE!!

I'm baaaack!~

(me,coming to your blog when I have an Idea because I want to feed you: )

The platonic asker,yours truly,has come once more to request a new platonic headcanon!

May I please have platonic! any character you'd like (Maybe Alastor,Vox and Lucifer,but you may change that as always! All characters are welcome.) With Child!Gn!Reader that randomly goes out (maybe teleports? Idk,just a random idea) and brings back random sinners (mostly poor and homeless) at the hotel/the character's work and goes "They wanted to work for/with you!!" with that little sweet and innocent voice of theirs? They're really naive and talks to everyone really kindly,a bit like my first ask! They're just a sweet sunshine kid that wants to help those in need! It's not their fault there are bad people that may use them,they just want to help!!

Anyways,I think that's good for me!!

Here's another reminder to take care of yourself! Eat,drink and sleep well,honey!

Enjoy writing this new prompt <33

Stay proud,

-Nina <33

I MISSEDD YOUUUU!!! And that prompt is giving me flashbacks to when I brought a feral raccoon into my house when I was a little kid lmao. But I love this!

Alastor, Vox, and Lucifer x Sweet Child! reader

THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC AND SHOULD ONLY BE TAKEN AS SUCH

Pronouns: Second person, gender neutral

Tw: Kidnapping? (Can a child kidnap someone?), pedos, general hazbin hotel

Alastor -

- I would say this man would be disappointed but in all honesty, he probably taught you how to steal people by accident.

- It would most likely take place after Charlie goes on one of her rants about how she needs more people at the hotel, and you being the cute little child you are, waddle away to go find some.

- I feel like he wouldn't particularly notice you missing until you show back up, random ass sinner in tow.

- Obviously you get lectured by everyone for stealing a person off the street and bringing him to where you live.

- cause...y'know...pedophiles happen to be in hell.

- But after you pull out the cute little eyes and the "I just wanted to help" everyone kinda gives up.

- Alastor does make you release him back outside like a butterfly you grabbed (omg that is something I never thought I would write)

Vox -

- As I've mentioned before, this man kinda lowkey sucks.

- Like Alastor, probably accidentally taught you how to steal someone, but he probably did it on purpose or some shit.

- You'd most likely see him murder fire another one of his workers and decide that he needs an immediate replacement.

- So you take your two little feet and waddle down the streets of hell asking anyone and everyone if they want to work for Vox.

- Obviously everyone wants to work for the Vees, so you end up bringing like a hoard of people to the office and kinda just, bring them in.

- As I've mentioned, this man would not notice you being gone like, ever, so when you magically show tf up with like 70 people all in tow, he is partially impressed and partially confused.

- He asks you why you brought so many people and you just look up at him with your cute little baby doll eyes and go "I thought you needed someone to replace mr. dead guy".

- He honestly kinda appreciates it and gives you a little pat on the head as he kills kicks out everyone you brought.

Lucifer -

- This man pays copious amounts of attention to you so the fact you were able to waddle away to go collect people off the street is honestly astounding.

- He was like, super art blocked and could not come up with another idea for a duck, and it was starting to piss both of you off.

- So you do your little thing and walk off by yourself to collect another person to help come up with some sweet succulent duck ideas.

- Well turn out, creepy people exist in hell (surprise surprises).

- So a creepy ass guy follows you to the palace and when you get back Lucifer panics.

- He was worried you died or something and was about to go find you when you show up with a rando behind you.

- Lucifer politely scolds you for running off like that, but before you could introduce him to the guy you found to help, the guy left.

- So you give up and instead devote a lot of your time to making a new rubber duck

- Lucifer ends up making a duck that can track where you are incase you go wandering off again.

This was so funny to write, I hope y'all enjoyed reading it!

[jhoneybees]

How could you not find him attractive in his later years?

Look at that smile🥺

Alright, if you all know what this post is going to be about then that's great, for those who don't then you may scroll past or keep reading.

I definitely don't want my blog to become ranting about drama and disagreements or anything, I'm just willing to share my opinion on this matter.

Please just ignore if I don't make sense but there has been something going on about sexualizing Elvis in his later years, some people don't like him in his 'fatter' stage which is fine, understandable, not your type, but to go tell people that it's disgusting and disrespectful to sexualize him.

One thing, those people you're saying that to they love him in so many ways than one. Definitely not just because of his looks and two it's not just Elvis that gets sexualized.

For those who like him for his looks, that's great, I think he's a sexy, breedable, adorable, sweet man as well.

Anyways, it's not very respectful for you to force something like this on others. If you don't agree with what we're doing then sorry to be the break of bad news but that's just too bad.

I don't know about others but I really do think for us to love him even in his later years, it would make him so happy and loved. I've read somewhere he's had a face lift and you know why? Of course, it's to keep being good looking on screen and pictures but it's also because he was insecure.

Now just think about that, would you like it if people are laughing and calling you names for your weight and figure even though your mind is already filled with terrible self doubting thoughts and not only that but having awful, energy draining health conditions?

And how about even after you pass there are people, forty odd years into the future, doing the same thing? Saying that you 'lost your good looks' because of your growing, wider figure?

Would you like that?

To me it seems like you're just being disrespectful.

I just think we gotta support each other with what we like, love and enjoy and I really do think Elvis would think the same.

[blackgirl0nline]

I was watching Sandman, and I could rant and rave and rant and rave about how excellent it is as an adaptation. The beautiful cinematography, the beautiful dialogue, the music the acting one after another bam bam bam.

But I was taken aback by something and idk what else’s to do but to try and articulate myself on my little tumblr blog.

I was having an incredulous conversation with my sister about this show’s great actors until I realized…. I genuinely haven’t seen so many (dark-skin) black women (with natural hair even!!) in one show. The show wasn’t about racism or suffering but it flexed this unique casting with such ease. I ended up joking that every 3 new characters was a black woman.

There were no stereotypes. Just black women allowed to BE in their full complexity and beauty. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

And I wonder… will I ever get used to this trivial joy? This casual little gift? I wish this small joy for everyone of every stripe. But a little selfishly I want every little black girl to know there is no one way to be, they can look and feel and be anything they want, no box can hold their brilliance.

[joesalw]

ok since you said you're all for swiftie rants, i feel a bit better sending this in 😭 i'm still a fan of her music (for the most part) but her as a person? never again.

i've been a casual swiftie since i was little and since her debut. i say casual because i didn't involve myself with fandom drama. never had any fan accounts or went to concerts. i didn't obsessively follow her life. i just loved her music and she seemed like a cool person. i always looked forward to her albums and new music.

when she started dating joe, i remember liking him from the beginning. he seemed grounded and chill. and kind. and i loved that she found someone like that. that he helped her through a really difficult time in her life and career. she just had a different glow with him to me. he helped her for the better in many ways imo. then 2023 happened and i was just... very confused. i wasn't on anyone's side in the beginning, just a "they were together for so long and they're probably both hurting, i wish people would leave them alone" and then she started dating THAT man like a month after their breakup was announced. i didn't know who matty was and god i wish it stayed that way. her dating him was a big wakeup call for me to think "yk what maybe she's not as cool as you thought." that saying "show me who your friends are, and i'll tell you who you are" is true imo. i don't know how someone can be friends with let alone DATE a man who not only does this, but admitted to it and LAUGHED about getting off to black women being brutalized. and that's not even all he did, idc if it was just a "joke" or an "act." it's not fucking funny and never was.

joe got harrassed and slandered repeatedly for a whole year. multiple of his female costars/friends did too because swifties were convinced he cheated on her with them. and taylor did absolutely nothing at all to stop it. not surprising ig because she never does, but still disappointing. if anything, she encouraged it. and what do you know? she was actually the one who cheated on joe. with matty fucking healy, who she had been pining over for a decade. she was the one who left joe. all because he was "too depressed" for her. i'm sorry but i have to laugh. what is this??

as far as the album goes, personal drama aside, i did like it for the most part. wasn't my favorite but i still liked it and i would've enjoyed it A LOT more if it wasn't so on the nose about everything that happened (and yk the whole "without all the racists" line. really? after dating matty? i think you'd be pretty fine if they were there idk). i would REALLY love "guilty as sin" if i didn't know it was a confession to emotionally cheating on her bf of 6 years because he was depressed and masturbating to matty healy who's just about every ist and phobic out there. i would really love "but daddy i love him" if i didn't know it was her jumping after her fans for actually having more morals than her and calling her out for dating that man. it's just... ugh.

sorry i kinda went off there 😭 it's just really disappointing to see her act this way. thank you for this blog! it has been very helpful for me and i'm sure a lot of other fans upset with her and everything that's happened.

yup

[luffyvace]

Hi I just wanted to say I love ur sm and I'm so glad to have found ur blog <333

It so hard to find a someone to write form tdlosk<3 (the author reader)

I had a cute though if it the came in my mind when reading the P2(?) Of it, Reader friend to show his approval of reader and saiki when he released his newest chapter in some of panel in the background there is this couple who is closely looks like reader and saiki or if there scene where there is desserts the most will stand out is a coffee jelly w Reader fav dessert and along with words of "coffee jelly and f/d are the finest together" (f/d = favorite dessert)

Sorry if I talked ur ear off I just wanted to rent this thought of mine ^^

Have a good day!

AWW YOUR SO SWEEEEEET!! TYSM DARLING <33 I agree I don’t see very many!!

AHHH THATS SUCH A GOOD IDEA!! That’s absolutely adorable I starting smiling so hard while typing this‼️💖

…………………..♡♡♡……………….

When you were reading your friend’s latest chapter you saw he drew a couple in that background resembled your appearance and had two thingys sticking out a guy’s head and glasses

you instantly knew it was you two!! (Especially with saiki’s limiters LOL)

freaking out, you and immediately ran to Saiki to show him 😭💓💓

he probably already noticed if he read the book before you

”KUSUO LOOK!! Looklooklook!- my author friend put us in the latest chapter!!!”

”yeah, I know I saw, he put us in the manga :)”

”that’s so ADORABLE 💞💞”

”I’m so happy! I’ve gotta thank him!”

you called your friend and barely gave him a chance to speak as you bursted with appreciation over the phone

he tells you he thought you and Saiki were a cute couple from when you introduced them to each other

so he got the spontaneous idea to put you two in his book!!

he explained that although it looked like you were just standing there with hearts over your heads (<3) you two were coming back from a dessert date!!

In a flash there was a smile on your face as you ran over to Kusuo once again to relay the message

he was rather fond of it considering that means he was eating coffee jelly 😎

”dang now he wants some..”

there was another scene where the main character passed a bakery and the items on sale in the window were coffee jelly and f/d!!!

the poster even read “coffee jelly and f/d are the finest together!~”

AWWWW SO CUTE!!

your shaking Kusuo and jumping up and down as you tell him about it!

he just sits there and lest it all happen with a faint smile 💖

he’s happy too of course

but your (literally) jumping with joy

often times after your friend finishes a chapter

you know how authors do that thing where they would put little doodles or facts at the end?

yeah he puts little chibi sketches of you and Kusuo doing cute couple stuff

one chapter will be chibi’s of you two holding hands

The next is you two on a date eating coffee jelly and f/d

it absolutely warms your heart 😭💝💝

you rant to Kusuo, your friends, your family, your author friend- EVERYBODY each time he does it

its so sweet of him!!

one time you put a detailed sketch of your author friend at the end of your chapter and he appreciated it so much!!

now it’s sorta just a back and forth thing between you two :3

This was such an adorable concept 😊💖

°

🏌️‍♀️

:3 (LOL)

[lycheedr3ams]

little blog announcement

TLDR: my könig fanfics from here on out will be focused on discovering his character rather than porn

rant below the cut

before you read this, just look into his eyes for a moment. are you seeing what i'm seeing? the pain and hardships he went through? the years of training and going to bed with broken bones and bruises and a bloody nose? the tears he cried alone because he had no one? can you see how many times he had to pick himself up because he was the only one he had? can you see the man who didn't get to live his dream, who couldn't be the one thing he wanted to be?

i have been thinking a lot about könig's character, story, personality, etc., and i've decided that i want to dedicate my fanfictions moving forward (for the most part) to things that only really make sense for his character. so, this means no porn without plot from me anymore.

there is so much porn without plot out there for könig, and i'm far from the best smut writer. there is an abundance of porn for könig, but far, far less fanfictions (even fewer halfway good ones) that actually have to do with his character. i don't mean disrespect to any fanfic writer, but i'm just very tired of the mischaracterization of könig. the same thing happens to ghost's character too, and several blogs have also posted about these mischaracterization issues.

yeah, some people might say this take is "too deep" or "it's not that serious", but i feel very connected to könig since i am similar to him in a lot of ways (obviously not in terms of being a killer lol). i have spent a lot of time lately just thinking about his character, and the more i think about him, the more i realize that there is so fucking much that most fanfic writers are missing about könig.

yes, we all love könig's accent, height, cock, and everything else that makes him sexually attractive. but what about the little boy who was bullied his whole life, who never had any friends, the one who dropped out of high school to join the army? the one who worked his way up from nothing to become a fierce and respected soldier? after all the porn without plot is said and done, what thoughts go through könig's mind at the end of the day? how does he interact with others? my point being, i want to dedicate my blog more to understanding his character. if you want könig porn without plot, there are many other blogs to find that from. I AM NOT SAYING PORN WITHOUT PLOT IS INHERENTLY BAD! Just that I don’t want to contribute to it.

I will still have porn without plot on my blog, but i will not be writing it myself.

this doesn't mean that i won't post könig porn. oh fuck no, i will have könig porn, but it will be in the context of a story and his character overall than just porn without plot. now, i might break this rule here and there if i have a really good idea, but i'd like to stick as close to my new personal rule as possible. i'm still going to finish the death's angel AU, and i will still be taking requests for butcher!könig cuz that AU is just so good.

but other than that, i seriously want to dedicate this blog to truly understanding könig: to getting under his skin and picking his brain and figuring out who he is behind the hood, who he is other than an austrian military sex symbol many of us - myself included - have made him out to be

if you disagree or don't like this, just don't interact. no need to be hateful. you'll get blocked if you're rude :)

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Stumbled across this blog and ah, my heart is blessed! If you’re still taking request, is it possible for you to have Ticci Toby, Masky, Hoody, EJ, and Jeff celebrating the teen!reader’s (kinda like unofficial siblings) birthday?

So many sibling asks lately!

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masky

Tim's never been a birthday guy, but he wants yours to be special

And so, he wakes up a little earlier than usual, throws on some clothes, and hops into his car to go to the store

He picks up your favorite cake mix, your favorite icing, and last but not least, your gift

He then heads home and begins to set everything up

He bakes the cake as best he can, and it actually doesn't look half bad

He throws on some candles, and then gets to work on wrapping your gift

By the time he is done, it is late enough into the morning that you should be awake

He walks up to your room and knocks, when he receives no response he opens your door and finds you sound asleep

He walks over to your bed and shakes you gently

"Hey, wake up" he mutters to you

As you begin to wake up, he tells you to close your eyes as he leads you to the kitchen

Once in the kitchen, he uncovers your eyes

You smile at the scene around you

"Do you like it?" He asks, still standing behind you

You nod and go to sit at the table

He lights the candles and brings you your cake "make a wish" he says, leaning against a chair next to you

You think for a moment, before blowing out your candles and smiling at your wish

Tim stands and grabs a knife "alright, since its your birthday you get the first slice. I also cant promise that it'll still be here by the time you come back for more, you know how Toby and BEN are." He says with a chuckle as he cuts you a slice

You eat your cake cheerily and open your gift, before heading back up to your room to plan what you wanna do for the rest of the day

Hoodie

Hoodie loves birthdays

He ends up being the party planner for most birthdays because of how well he coordinates them

So when your birthday comes up, he gets super excited

He'll decorate your entire room while you're asleep

Streamers, banners, balloons, you name it, it's there

After he's done decorating he goes and makes you a homemade cake with your favorite flavors of icing and mix

He then goes out and buys your favorite snacks and drinks for your mini party

And he's already had your gifts for months now, just waiting to be given to you

When you wake up, he suprises you with your favorite breakfast in bed

Then its onto the gifts

And in the afternoon, you get your cake!

Accompanied by some of the creeps you are close with, singing you happy birthday

Speaking of the other creeps

Expect to get lots of "happy birthday y/n!" Alllllll day

Yeah, brian has not stopped ranting about how excited he is

So now almost the entire manor is aware of your special day

You might even get some more gifts from those who are close to you!

Eyeless Jack

He's not super huge into birthdays either, but since your his sibling, he'll make an exception for you

He makes a quick run to the grocery store, getting a premade cake and a few decorations

He then gets permission from slender to reserve the picnic table in the garden all afternoon for just you, him, and a few other friends of yours

He sets the cake, few decorations and drinks up, and then goes to get you

Honestly his gift would probably be a book 💀

"You can never learn too much"

Don't worry, all your friends bring you gifts too

Ones you'll actually use

Definetly the most boring one to celebrate your special day with

Im sorry 💀

Jeff the Killer

Jeff gets really excited about birthdays

Usually his most excited about his own

But he makes an exception for you and Liu

His parties are kind of half assed though

He gets a store bought cake and just grabs something random for a gift

"Oh wow jeff thank you! its a....app controlled heated blanket??"

"I saw it and thought of you 🫶"

Liu is more thoughftul

He gets you something you actually want

And if he isn't sure what you want, he just gives you a bunch of cash so you can get whatever you want

Jeff would also be adamant that you go out on your birthday

He knows you're only a teen, but he would love to take you out to a concert

Which if course, teens can go to concerts

But the older members of the manor aren't exactly too fond of the idea

He doesn't care though

Fuck those old people

Hed totally get you tons of merch

You'd come back really late at night, totally partied out

But boy was it fun

Ticci Toby

Toby gets really excited for your birthday

Since youre the only family he has left, he wants to make sure that your special day is, well...special!

He gets a ton of decorations ahead of time, as well as a bunch of gifts (as many as he can afford)

The day of, he will spend the entire morning making sure you stay out of the ballroom while he and a few other creeps decorate

He goes all put throwing an amazing party for you, making sure it would be up to your standards

He invites all of his and your friends to come celebrate with you

He tries to make a cake, but hes not a good baker so it turns out a little ugly

But other than that the party is perfect!

All of the attending creeps sing you happy birthday, and you almost drown in a sea of gifts

Also, so many pictures are taken

So many

By toby himself, and other creeps

[roo-bastmoon]

Homage vs. Copying

So I'm not feeling super great these days, but I still dip into Jikook spaces for a quick hit of lovely serotonin and to check up on my friends. Alas, I see some folks raging in the tags that JK is stealing Jimin's original concepts because he's too stupid or lazy to come up with his own... I'm not having flashbacks to BTS' plagiarism scandal, I'm not. I have thoughts--and lots of photo examples--about this topic, under the cut. Let's get into it--and keep it civil, too.

First off--let's just establish that folks have the right to use the Jikook tag to both celebrate and critique Jikook and the fandom around Jikook. People get to write about what they want on their blogs. They get to rant, so long as no one is using hate speech and slurs. (The minute I see that shit, I quietly report.)

Clearly, folks who are angry at Jungkook (or Jimin) come into the Jikook tag because they want attention from Jikookers, and the best use of my time and energy is to self-police and block them. That way I am not infringing on their right to scream into the wind all they like, but I also don't have to hear the noise.

Second off, unless JK called any of us up and said: "Hey, guess what? After 10 years of evidence to the contrary, suddenly I'm incapable of original thought, so I just take advantage of Jiminie-hyung, whom I keep calling out and hyping up and praising and asking to spend time with and traveling with and whose style I also match in my personal life!" maaaaybe we give the benefit of the doubt, and at least entertain the possibility that Jungkook is expressing visual alignment with Jimin because he can't just openly claim him in other ways?

Like, I'm not saying that IS what's going on, because Jungkook doesn't call me up and tell me his thoughts, either. It's fine; I'm not mad. He doesn't even text Jin back. I am just saying we should maybe sit with the idea for a bit and really marinate on what that might mean for a queer couple.

(Or we could just take in things without pronouncing any opinions yet--ya know, until we get more data around Jungkook's choices and how Jimin feels about it.)

It's fine not to assume the similarities are romantic gestures; but it's also fine not to assume the worst--that JK is siphoning off Jimin like a leech. Jungkook was consulted by the Seven stylist and he got to be creative director for his Vogue shoot; he also had some say in his music videos and performance stages. He is making choices deliberately, and it makes no sense to me that he would choose to openly copy a bandmate out of laziness. He has a professional reputation to consider.

Rather, I think this is one of the few places where he has artistic license to tether a thread between him and Jimin. I think he's paying homage.

(Side note: In film and photography, an homage is an imitation of another work. At first glance, it may seem like an homage is a rip-off or a lesser copy, but it actually pays tribute to and honors the source work. Homage is a great way to use other filmmakers' styles and content to crystallize your unique voice as a filmmaker.)

So that's my currently theory about what's going on.

Yet, honestly? None of us really know WHY there's so much similarity in their looks these days. The similarities are now stacking up so much as to be undeniable, though.

Personally, I'm leaning to this being a celebration of the fact that Jikook have always shared similar tastes; it's one of the many ways they click. Jikook know that. The stylists know that. So yeah, when JK gets a chance to observe and emulate (and expound upon) Jimin's style, he does. Because Jimin is one of the coolest people in the world to him. So he shows this in his own creative work and in his own personal wardrobe.

Here's why I hold that opinion at the moment:

Could this all be the stylists choosing to recycle looks or throw bread crumbs to Jikookers? I guess.

Could this be Jungkook just borrowing from Jimin as a shortcut? I'm not sharing his brainwaves, so I can't tell you there's zero possibility.

But what seems more likely is that of all the artists in the world, Jimin is the one Jungkook has always kept his eyes on. Out of love and respect, not malice and opportunism.

Like with the 1108 and 13 numbers that THEY keep inserting into their own communications, these similarities in style is also an emerging pattern.

If you feel protective of Jimin, I understand why you'd be wary of so much similarity. But consider what we know of both Jimin and Jungkook over the past 10 years...

While neither of these human beings are perfect (and they will continue to make mistakes), they clearly love each other. And you don't steal from the people you love. But you do honor how amazing they are whenever you get the chance.

So maybe let's just hear JK out on this?

Okay, that's all the energy I have for this topic. I got deadlines and health tests to power through over the next few weeks. If you comment with your own ideas, that's cool--but please keep it respectful of Jikook and each other. I don't want to banhammer anyone but I will.

Love, Roo

PS Even if I'm not around much, you can be sure I'll buy and stream 3D, and I encourage you guys to give it a chance too! <3

[vixenbydestroyboys]

hi this this is the old @mayonaise2011remaster I got t worded (which is insane because I have only ever posted 1 $h picture, and it wasn't even explicit, just bl00d and bl4des) I'll pretty up my blog after work

just looking for my old mutuals

if you can't remember me, my biggest posts were one about harm reduction and how it would include $h, a post pretty recently about how my boyfriend and I came to an agreement where he would allow me to $h if certain parameters were in place, and then a lot of random short memes and rants.

I genuinely don't understand what I did to get fucked like this, I had community tags on the one post that could have been seen as bad and everything else was just rants. does this mean I was more likely just reported??? I don't understand and idk if it's worth getting in contact with the support ppl. I'm just really sad, I said so many times that the only reason I don't post pics is cuz I was scared of this and wanted my blog to mostly be for rants and harm reduction education. and now that's gone and I'm really upset and I'm really frustrated and I really am yeah. this really sucks

[sarcastictissy]

Hola :D I just wanted to thank you for being so positive lately and looking at things regarding the qstudio situation with nuance. It feels like people have been so stressed and angry after all of the admin stuff came that they began to take every bit of news we hear as some sign that bad things are to come . I think a lot of people underestimated just how long this process can take, there a lot of factors to be considered here, including: q's lack of experience, the union, the laws, the admins. And unfortunately there is no way to satisfy everyone when it comes to stuff like this. This was never going to take a week or two, I feel like people didn't fully understand that.

Some admins are going to be pushed out of the project due to the lack of funds and the fact that this is a legal issue first and for most. It's unfair but it's the law. Not everyone understands that and because of that people are going to say things without understanding the situation. Not every thing is black and white and sometimes things aren't going to work out the way we want them to. Nobody is perfect and we shouldn't expect people involved in this situation to act like that. Which is why you should always look at the situation from multiple perspectives before forming an opinion.

It makes me feel tired to see the same takes over and over agian with no nuance. So your post have really helped me feel better :) I've seen people from both qsmpblr and qsmptwt act like every ccs involved in this is a war criminal or like this is a admins vs quackity or french/brazil vs quackity. It's kinda drove me off most social sites and forced me to only watch YouTube and stuff (on the good side of things, I've been watching quackity's discord videos and some dsmp vods :D it's been fun)

What I am trying to say is that, scrolling through your blog feels like a breath of fresh air and has made me feel 8× more calm about this situation. I don't think doomposting is necessarily bad but after seeing so much of it, sometimes you just need to distance yourself and look at the good parts of life. No matter how much I complain, I am never changing the course that qstudio is headed and neither can any one else, The only one who can do that is quackity. I hope that he does the right thing and the studio gets better. I love the characters that qsmp has brought us and the community it has formed, qsmp is a beautiful project that I want to see thrive. For now the only thing I can do as a viewer is hope for the best <3

I'm sorry if this came off as a trauma dump, I just really wanted to thank you.

So, this has been in my askbox for a while because I was so grateful and happy to hear I've helped someone!! Thank you sm anon that means a lot to me and knowing I'm keeping others optimistic, helps me feel optimistic too! :D

This is a very complex situation with so many moral grey areas mixed with black and white. It's not simple, it's not easy. These things cannot be fixed in a matter of weeks, you're absolutely right about that.

I also agree doomposting isn't necessarily bad! It's a good way to get off some steam and vent/ rant for a bit. There's nothing wrong with that. We all need it at times. For me, personally, it becomes toxic when that's ALL I'm seeing in social media. When I go on my phone and all I see is negativity, that's when I need to call it quits and start blocking people or start taking time away (which is why I deleted twt off my phone) everyone's tolerance levels are different ofc, so, not everyone is affected by that negativity, but I certainly was. This is why I want my blog to be positive and uplifting and you know what? Each and every time I get a ask or a message thanking me for that, I gain faith in humanity and it just encourages me to keep being positive! I'm so thankful for your ask and dw it wasn't trauma dumping at all!! :D I hope you're doing well anon! Take care of yourself. You matter

[justanamesstuff]

The intimacy of being understood

Chapter 4

Matty Healy x f!reader

A/N: She (this chapter lol) is sad and hurts very much but i swear is the only heavy chapter. I hope you like it...as always feedback (not hate) is always welcomed :)♥

Warnings: mention of death, angst, hurt feelings, typos.

Word count: 3 K

Blog Masterlist Series Masterlist

Kate walked from one side to the other, looking funny from Y/n’s perspective, who was sitting in front of the big couch. The one in front of her hid the lower part of Kate’s body, so the mixture of her friend’s figure dancing around in the air and how angry she was at the moment amused Y/n. 

In the last few years, the pair of friends talked –mostly Kate– about their careers multiple times. Kate worked for a big company, she aspired to be at the top someday –Y/n knew it in her bones she would make it. Although, life was being unfair with her friend. Kate’s bosses promoted her nemesis, a very unqualified woman, who Kate despised with her entire soul, and ranted about her with Y/n. 

The owner of the bookshop felt like they had had that exactly conversation so many times, so she heard half of what Kate was telling her, dropping words or sound of encouragement from time to time. Y/n accepted the reality that Kate didn’t necessarily want advices from her, just someone that could give her the time and moment so let her feeling out. So, she did. 

Meanwhile, Kate shouted and walked from side to side, Y/n played with the golden neckless around her neck mindlessly. Her mind didn’t go to the same places as they used to when she moved the ring –attached to it– from side to side, creating a hypnotic sensation. Y/n found herself thinking about Matty and the messages they have shared all those weeks. A small smile creeping into her mouth.

“You have to see the amount of typos she makes. It’s painful!” Kate shouted, startling Y/n.

She added almost automatically, “Mhm.” and reached for her phone resting beside her on the couch. 

“I shouldn’t say this…” Kate stopped, placing her hands on the couch, looking at Y/n. “It’s not very feminist from myself, but I think she’s sleeping with the CEO or something.” Y/n’s friend cringe a little hearing her own words. “That job should be mine, not hers.” she let her body fell forward, until her head touched the cushions of the couch.

“I bet they’re going to give it to you eventually, Kate.” Y/n said, huffing softly when no new messages popped on her screen. She tried to calm her anxieties thinking about how busy Matty must be. 

“Eventually…I don’t want to wait for those morons to wake up and see she’s not capable. I’ve been breaking my back for years for them to just-”

ping!

Y/n hated how fast her hand grabbed the device again after merely minutes –or maybe seconds. Matty had sent her new memes, making her laugh out loud. The man cracked her sense of humour sooner than she intended, and was feeding it constantly. She didn’t know how he did it. 

Kate pushed her head up staring at Y/n, her face red since all the blood was going to her head. 

“Righ, what’s so funny?” 

“Nothing.” Y/n replied, typing away with a big smile. 

“Y/n.”

“What?”

Y/n’s friend didn’t answer right away. She pushed herself all the way up, staring at her best friend lost inside her phone. Kate rounded the big couch, sitting properly in front of Y/n.

“Please, make this impossible day a little bit better for me.” 

“Funny pop up notification.”

Kate scoffed loud. She wasn’t stupid, and she knew Y/n.

“Okay, I’ll believe that lie.” 

“It’s not a lie.” Y/n locked her phone after answering Matty and sent a few more memes. 

“You have been smiling down at your phone for days now. I haven't said a word.”

Y/n sit very still, looking at Kate with her eyes full of panic for some reason. 

“What haven’t you tell me now?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Well, you’re blushing like when Tom Dickinson asked you out.” Kate pestered her.

Y/n hid her embarrassed face from Kate, pushing a cushion on her face, “Absolutely not like that!” 

ping! 

“I hate when you leave me out.” Kate pouted a little.

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Mhm.”

Y/n knew it wasn’t fair from her to bring Kate’s nemesis back, so her friend went back to complain about her but, she said, “Dalia…”

“Oh, I hate the sound out of that bitch!”

Sooner, Kate went back to her rant. Y/n breathed deeply knowing she was out of danger. 

****

4 days later 

The weather was very cold the afternoon Matty walked all the way from Sam’s house –after visiting him, Allen and Mayhem–, to the bookshop. His heart sunk and a weird sensation travelled from his neck all the way down his spine. In all the months Matty knew the place and Y/n, he had never saw it closed so he panicked. 

The typical sign he saw every time he crossed the door showed the ‘closed’ side with a note attached to it saying ‘we’re closed today, sorry to disturb you’. Matty guessed it was Y/n handwriting. Y/n. 

Matty fought with his coat trying to reach the inside pocket where he left his phone. He needed to know she was alright. 

Matty: Y/n x

Y/n 📚: Hey

Matty: everything alright?

Y/n 📚: yes, you?

Matty: I'm at the shop…

Y/n 📚: Oh

Matty witnessed how Y/n typed a sentence but before sending it she deleted it, and the same happened a few more times. Until Y/n added a question to her response. 

Y/n 📚: do you want to go for a coffee and a walk? 

The singer read it twice, thinking he was delusional or hallucinating. He never expected that boldness coming from Y/n even though he was not going to let the opportunity pass.

Matty: sure.

Y/n 📚: do you remember where I live?

Matty: yes, I’ll let you know when I'm there.

Y/n 📚:  okay x

During the short walk –which Matty almost ran– he wondered what was happening. Why the shop is closed? Why Y/n is inviting me to a date? It was a date? Where they that kind of friends now? Was it more? For the first time in a very long time, Matty felt he was deeply nervous.

When he was only a block away, Matty looked around, trying to figure out if the people walking closer recognized him. The least thing he wanted was to meet fans when he was out with Y/n who didn’t know what he did for a living –or that was he knew. Thankfully, no one noticed or cared about him. 

Matty reached her house breathing rapidly, almost out of breath. So, before Matty texted her letting her know he was there, the singer took a minute to admire the house. It was very Y/n and the thought took him by surprise. Even though before he could go down that road inside his head, Y/n walked the short way to meet him. 

“Hi.” Y/n awkwardly said, fixing her sunglasses on top of her nose.

“Hello.”

They stood there for a minute saying nothing more, until Y/n offered him, “Shall we?” pointing with her hand to the street. 

“Yes, yes.” Matty felt so stupid. 

Both of them wanted to start a conversation, but neither knew how nor what to say. Y/n chose the reasonable thing from her part.

“Im sorry…about the shop.” 

“Surprised me.” Matty admitted.

Y/n knew it was the main reason behind him texting her that day, but the only answered coming from her mouth was a short, “Mhm.”

“Something happened?” the singer tried.

“Yes.” she said in a cryptic tone. 

Before Matty could keep trying, they arrived to Y/n’s favourite coffee shop. She asked him what he wanted, and proceed to pay for both. The action didn’t go unnoticed by him, who protested, although she shushed him.

“I like walking around the lake’s park, do you mind?” she told him when they were out of the shop.

“Let’s go.”

This time, Y/n didn’t wait, saying, “I’m sorry about the mystery.”

“What do you mean?” Matty’s purpose was to make it sound like a joke, and even though she noticed that day, Y/n wasn’t in the mood. Even less after the cashier gifted her a knowing look. 

“I-”

“You don't have to tell me, Y/n.” because even though he was dying to know the reason if she wasn’t comfortable talking about it, Matty didn’t want to push her. An afternoon in silence with Y/n would be perfect for the singer. 

“I want to. It’s just hard, specially today.” she said at the same moment they crossed the limits of the park.

“Take your time.”

They walked in silence for a long while, which gave Matty enough time to admire the surroundings. He knew the park by name, although he never really spent time there. His new friendship with Y/n not only pushed him to explore places inside his mind, it also made him actually discover new places. Matty silently thanked the universe for making him open that door all those weeks back.

“Do you remember when I had a panic attack back then?” Y/n asked out of the blue.

Matty turned, admiring her side, “Yes.”

“What trigger it?”

“I do.” Matty remembered that day very well. 

How could he not when Y/n let him –almost a stranger– see her most vulnerable side and trusted him enough, so he could guide her through the panic attack. That moment brought Matty to think this was a very special bond. He never doubted it, though. 

“Months before you came running from the devil…” Y/n started 

“That…I prefer to forget.” Matty teased, gaining a giggle from Y/n. 

“I know. Months before that, I was about to get married.” 

Matty was stunned, “What?”

Y/n laughed louder now, “Can you believe it? I couldn’t…” they walked a few meters in silence. Matty looked between the path around the pond they were taking and Y/n face lost in her mind. 

“We had everything planned, nothing big, nothing fancy. Neither of us had many to spend, and every penny we wanted to save it for a house…a place to raise our kids.” Y/n’s eyes fell to the ground. Matty noticed she looked tiny inside her big coat. “We shared a vision, a dream. I never shared that lever of intimacy with anyone in my life, not even Kate. He was everything to me.” she told Matty, playing with her empty cup between her hands.

“Was?” Matty found himself asking. 

“He still is…if I'm honest.” Y/n turned, staring at Matty for the first time in almost half hour. She feared to find pity, although she found a warmness inside his soft brown eyes. “A part of my heart is always going to be his, as dramatic as that can sound.” Matty chuckled. 

“I get it.” because he truly did, he felt the same with his ex-girlfriend no matter the circumstances. “What happened?”

Y/n took a deep breath before saying, “It was a similar day like today. I was at the shop, tearing my hairs out because the flavour for the cake wasn’t perfect. The baker wasn’t listening to what we wanted, doing whatever he felt like. Jason-” Y/n felt her throat sore after saying his name out loud. 

She cleared her throat and continued, “Sorry, Jason was driving south to visit his sister. I remember him calling me during a stop he did along the journey. Feels so foreign to think about our conversation now, everything about that stupid cake.” Y/n look up to the top of the trees above them. “He calmed me, saying something about how the cake didn’t matter since we’re going to get married, that was the important part. He was always right, he centred me when my mind ran around in circles.” Matty noticed she smiled to the memory of her boyfriend, breaking his heart a little. “After that, we said goodbye and I told him to call again when he arrived.” tears polled around the corner of her eyes, knowing what was coming next. 

“Y/n…”

The girl reassured Matty, “It’s okay. He- He never arrived.”

“Y/n.” Matty spoke again, this time taking her hand, and she let him. 

Matty didn't know if she noticed, she squeezed it telling him, “He crushed his car in front of a track. The man driving it fell asleep and lost control of the mobile. Jason didn’t stand a chance.”

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” he was. 

“He died, and I was obsessing about a cake we never get to it.” Y/n laughed ironically, drying her tears with her free hand. 

Matty opened and closed his mouth, he wanted to say something, although words scape his mind before he could make a single sound. Y/n noticed.

“You don’t have to say anything, Matty. I appreciate it, though.” she tightened the grip around his hand. “That’s the reason behind me closing the shop on days like…today.” the anniversary of Jason’s accident.

“Mhm.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bring the mood down.”

“Y/n, please.” Matty stared at her eyes through the lenses of her sunglasses. 

“I feel better telling you.” she admitted. 

“Do you?”

“Yes, I have been very fond of our…friendship. I felt like I was hiding a part of me.” Y/n let all the truth out.

Matty worried, feeling he hadn’t been very open himself. “If that’s the case, I’ve been hiding a couple parts of me.”

“You mean the band?” she cut him. 

“Kate?”

Y/n confirmed it, “Kate. I felt so stupid when she told be about the playlist and…the rest.” she genuinely laughed with happiness, soothing Matty’s heart. 

“It was really cute and sincere.” he caressed the skin of her hand. 

Y/n blushed, saying, “Stop.”

“I swear!”

“Well, what else have you been hiding, Matty Healy?”

Matty stared at her stunned, with his eyes wide open. The singer felt how the world he lived in every day and the scape he found in Y/n’s bookshop –another galaxy– collapsed into one. He feared for a second even though he was happy, at the same time there weren’t any barriers between them. 

“What?” Y/n gave him a worried look when he didn’t talk right away.

“Can I still be just Matty for you?” he pleaded.

Y/n took her sunglasses to the top of her head, saying, “Sure.”

“Perfect.” Matty felt safe again. 

“You’re ignoring my question.”

“I’m not.” Matty protested. “About my ex...” 

“Okay, you don’t have to. I was jok-” 

Matty interrupted, “I want to.” mimicking her words from earlier. 

“Fine.”

“The Universe is so weird. We- Her and I were going to get married.”

“Shut up!” Y/n gasped. 

“I proposed to her. A quiet dinner, flowers and a nice ring. Everything as she wanted, as she always told me she wanted if the occasion happened.”

“Did she say yes?” the bookshop owner asked, a bit too excited. 

“She did.” Matty smiled to the memory. “For a while everything felt like a film, I was going to get married to the love of my fucking life, y’know?”

“Yes.” because she did know. 

“The end started slowly. It was like a film you know how it's going to end, however you’re not entirely sure, so you wait. I waited.” Matty made a short pause. Y/n noticed he didn’t let go of her hand, and she didn’t want to either. 

“She was getting a lot of pressure with her own stuff, her work…I tried to be patient. We, the band, started making the last album slowly. Which took hours of my day, weeks. I started to see her less and less. Back then, I dismiss every bad sign thinking ‘it was work, this is temporary’.” the singer used a different voice for the last sentences mocking his past self. “Until one day she took off the ring, I asked about it. She complained about the band pressing on her finger or something like that. Even then I felt okay, ‘everything is fine, we’re fine’ I repeated to myself. But a seed of something planted inside me, a quiet fear.”

“Weeks went by, a month later…I returned home from the studio, and she was sitting on the couch. She had been crying, I could tell, so I got worried. I ran to her side, she didn’t let me touch her. The bomb exploded in my face. She said wasn’t ready to get married, she wasn’t sure about doing it with me. She left that night.” Y/n squeezed his hand. 

“Matty…” 

The stopped walking, leaving the pond behind them. Their hands intertwined still. 

“She’s with somebody else now. She’s fine, and I'm better now.” Matty said, looking directly into her eyes. 

“You’re better now.” Y/n truly thought it. 

“The bookshop has a lot to do with that.” 

Y/n said without thinking, “Jason was a big fan of movies, not books. He dealt with it.” both chuckled thinking about it. 

“He sounds like a nice bloke.”

“He was.”

Once more, silence stood between them and like always bringing the two closer. Matty felt a new wave of emotions taking over his body. He took Y/n’s other hand on his. They were so different in so many ways, even though Matty thought they made sense in many other ways he couldn’t quite place. 

“Thank you for telling me, Y/n.” 

“Thank you for sharing yours, Matty.”

Matty let her hands go, only so he could offer her a hug, opening his arms. Y/n shyly responded, pushing her body closer to his. The singer let his arms rounded her form. Y/n lost herself inside Matty’s embrace. A thought came to the front of her head, ‘ The Universe took Jason from her life, but she also gave Y/n another incredible person…a friend for life’.

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