#then she feels like shes a burden when you tuck her into bed she cries

[fagrights]

today was so difficult and the thing is i dont think its going to get any easier any time soon

[ashwhowrites]

hello ash, your writing is lovely!! i was wondering if i could request reader being in subspace after a night out with a guy who didn't give her aftercare, so roomate!eddie makes her feel better? just like taking on the role of caretaker and telling reader that he'll keep her safe and just tucking her in and giving her cute, chaste kisses?

(this is totally self indulgent cos i was sent home after no aftercare and had to do it myself)

Aftercare has my heart. That's one of my favorites parts about being intimate with my partner, the pillow talk that comes after

Thank you for requesting! I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it <3

Small fluff blurb

Y/N tried to hold back her tears as she slammed the door. She cursed herself for even leaving the bar with that guy. She should have known a random hookup at a bar wouldn't be romantic or respectful in any kind of way.

She scoffed as she thought about how he rolled off of her and told her to be out by morning. The way he didn't bother to see how she was, just closing his eyes. He had the nerve to go to sleep while she sat there naked and vulnerable.

She felt alone, scared, and used. All she wanted was to feel good. But now she couldn't help but feel like an idiot. She felt like she did everything wrong and she wasn't even worthy of being taken care of. Was she a burden? Was it too much to ask for a soft cuddle afterward?

~~~

She freely cried once she made it into her apartment. She slammed the door and ran off into her room.

Eddie was on the couch, a hand in a bag of chips when she ran past. He sat up worried, he dusted off his hands and followed behind her.

She was on her bed, lying on her side as she curled into a ball. She sobbed into her knees, her small dress riding up. Eddie could see the beginning of small hickies forming on her thighs.

"Oh, pretty girl." He cooed, walking over to the side of the bed. He kneeled, his face close to hers. He used his right hand to softly pet her hair.

"I don't wanna talk about it." She sniffled, and her red eyes looked at him. She looked so scared and hurt.

"Then we won't talk." He said softly, he stood up and removed his sweatpants. She watched him confused but didn't say anything. He gave her a trusting smile and took off her heels. Then he slid the sweatpants up her legs.

She sniffled but could feel the tears stopping. The comfort of her bare feet against her warm blanket. The softness of Eddie's sweatpants on her bare legs. Eddie grabbed her hands and helped her sit up. He nodded to her dress, and she got the hint. She reached behind herself and unzipped the dress, she stood up and let the dress sink. She stood in a bra, but Eddie's eyes stayed on her face.

"Good girl." He said softly, the praise warmed her stomach as she felt a small smile on her face. He walked over to her drawer and pulled out a small shirt.

"I'm going to turn around while you take off your bra and put this on, can you do that for me? It's okay if you can't." He asked, she nodded and took the shirt. Just as he said, he turned around but left his arm behind his back. His palm upwards gave her the chance to hold it if needed.

She couldn't help but melt at how nice he was. The way he was soft and easy with her.

"Done." She said quietly, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do next. He turned around as she stared at him, blankly waiting for the next direction.

"Look at you! You did so well." He praised. "Let's go into bed and have some cuddles. I know you love cuddling before bed."

She nodded excitedly, moving onto the bed and slipping underneath her covers. Eddie turned off her lamp, crawling over her body as he settled next to her. He wrapped his arm around her, his lips next to her ear as he breathed against her.

The air hitting her ear and his arm wrapped around her made her feel safe. She didn't feel alone and she felt wanted. Why couldn't every guy know what she needed like Eddie?

"You're safe here." He whispered, he leaned forward and pecked her cheek.

And she believed him

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

Chapter 23 ~ A good sign

Hidden Depths

Previous ~ Masterlist ~ Next

Also on ao3

Genre: Fantasy whump

CWs: uhh, some more of the same from previous chapters, which isn’t much to list here. A noncon kiss, i guess. 

WC: 2965

Taglist: @dont-touch-my-soup, @kixngiggles

In which things come to a head

AN: Who's ready to move on from the bandit camp? Good news, we're getting there! And then back to our regularly scheduled recovery arc 😅

Resh 

The man called Lox came in and tied Resh'’s wrists back to the bedframe, the positioning such that it didn’t tug on his wound too much, as it would if they’d been tied above his head. The prince not prince must be coming to check on him. 

It was strange to be allowed that consideration. Tying him down fit, not causing the maximum amount of pain didn’t. Resh couldn’t decide if this Lox was the prince’s servant or if the not prince was some kind of healer looking after him. 

He didn’t fight him, either way. What was the point? 

Carr’s spirit had come to him, had held his face in her hands while he’d cried. He could still feel the imprint of her palm, the light brush of her fingers. 

But her spirit hadn’t stayed long, had evaporated into aching nothingness just like every other time, leaving him alone to face another day of torture. 

A tear tracked down his too-hot cheek as the prince not prince entered, his hands full of supplies. Lox took them from him, relieving him of his burden. He sat on the edge of Resh’s bed, right where Carr’s spirit had been… hours, days?... before. Resh wished for Carr’s spirit to return. 

Instead, the prince not prince laid the back of his hand over Resh’s forehead and clucked his tongue. “Still too hot,” he muttered. 

He dunked a cloth into the bowl of water by Resh’s prison-bed, then ripped it in two. One half went over Resh’s forehead, and the other was tucked behind his neck. The coolness of the cloth warmed quickly. The prince not prince sighed and repeated the process. 

“My name is Rowan, and I use they/them. You’re in our camp in the Seleni Wood. You were injured traveling, and I want to help you.” 

The words came out monotone, as if by rote, while they unwrapped the bandage from Resh’s chest. His brow wrinkled. Rowan? But–

Not. Prince? Resh asked. Which reality was not prince again?

They peered sharply at him, then made some complex movements with their hands. Resh blinked. Those weren’t any kind of hand signs he knew. 

He shook his head minutely. I can’t–

“He really can’t talk,” the prince not–no, Rowan–said, turning to Lox. 

Resh’s fingers curled. He could. They just couldn’t lipread. He needed his notebook, or Carr. But Carr… Not prince was the reality where Carr was dead. His chest ached in a way that reached beyond the dull, burning throb of his wounded shoulder. 

“But he responded, so that’s a good sign,” Lox said.  

Resh looked at the ceiling, allowing his eyes to unfocus and their words to blur. A good sign. A good sign would be having Carr back, alive, sitting at his bedside. A good sign would be his sister standing in the doorway. A good sign would be not having fucking rope digging into already sore wrists while a stranger poked and prodded him. 

He tensed, knowing what was coming next. The liquid that seared him from the inside out, leaving him straining against his binds. The hands, holding him down because the ropes weren’t surety enough, he guessed. The screams that wouldn’t, couldn’t escape his useless fucking throat. 

A good sign would be anything but this. 

~~~

Carr

Carr found that Lox hadn’t been joking when he’d said the expectation was for her to stick with Demex. Even for something as private as visiting the latrine. Ugh. 

They ate, then he passed her off to one of the women who accepted “temporary responsibility” for her while he went on patrol. 

So far, Carr had done laundry, helped cook for the communal meal, cleaned the cabins–although not the cabin she wanted to be in, damn it–and assisted in various other tasks while they tried to determine where she might fit within their social structure. 

It reminded her of pack life, except a lot more domestic. Perhaps this is what women would be doing in a pack while they weren’t warming beds. Carr wasn’t exactly thrilled with either definition of a woman’s duties, but at least Demex seemed content with doing nothing more than throwing his arm over her at night.  

Carr shuddered and pinned up another swathe of fabric, eyeing the door to the bandit leader’s cabin across the way. The drying line hung outside another cabin the people used as a communal warehouse, while the last cabin off to her left was used for gatherings and meals. Hanging the laundry out to dry provided an excellent line of sight should Lox decide to do anything with Resh, so she’d volunteered for the duty. It sucked, but she certainly hadn’t found another way to get close to the cabin since that first night. 

She halfway wondered if Demex had noticed her absence that night and just hadn’t said anything, because she’d not been able to pull off a repeat with him caging her in with his body. Was Resh improving? Were they going to let him outside, or keep him imprisoned in that windowless room? 

Add to that, she was getting antsy. Three days was unrealistic to expect Hallin’s guard to arrive, as that would’ve required Hallin’s Head Elder to agree to send them and then for them to get ready for travel within a matter of hours after Brant and Orla’s arrival. And that was assuming they had made good time. The girl wasn’t used to riding, so maybe they hadn’t. 

But this game she was playing with Demex felt wrong, and not just because his touch made her skin crawl. He seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. Shit, most of the people she’d met here seemed decent. That both reassured her, especially since she hadn’t seen Resh in so long, and worried her. What would Hallin’s guard do to these people?

To the woman with the baby who gathered the laundry each morning, taking it to the stream for a wash. She didn’t speak, Carr had found, instead making her wishes known through various gestures everyone here seemed to understand. 

To the man who spent every second with the animals, lavishing them with tender words and soft touches, and yet skittered away from people and wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. 

To the few people who preferred not to be assigned a gender, instead going by they/them, or those who straddled some kind of line, going by he or she/they. Carr had dwelled on that one, still was actually. 

This wasn’t a bandit camp. It was a group of kindred folk living on the fringe of society, trying to survive as best they could.

Carr shook her head, reaching for another garment to hang out only to find her basket empty. She stood and wiped her damp hands on her apron, then tugged at the seams of her bodice, disliking how she could feel them digging into her skin even through the shift she wore underneath. 

It shouldn’t matter what kind of people they were. Their leader had shot Resh, taken him captive, and left her and Orla for dead. Carr’s jaw set. It didn’t. It didn’t matter. 

A flash of orange caught in her peripheral vision, and she spun, one hand going to her thigh before she could catch herself. She twisted it in her apron instead and watched as the day’s babysitter limped over to her, carrying another basket. Fucking neverending, laundry was. At least she wasn’t scrubbing it today, she supposed. 

“Last one,” Elena promised, dropping the basket with a thump at Carr’s feet. 

“Great,” Carr said with false enthusiasm. Great that it was the end, but not so great because it would also be the end of her excuse to stand here, watching over that cabin. 

Shrewd brown eyes flicked over Carr, assessing. 

A breeze stirred the laundry on the line, lending a hint of moisture to the dry, late summer air. A perk to this particular duty, Carr had to admit. Fidgeting under the woman’s gaze, she plucked at another seam, then scooted the basket with her foot to an empty section of line. Let her stare. Didn’t mean she had to look too. 

“Could use a trim, don’t ya think?” Elena mused. “And I’m thinking, perhaps the dress doesn’t suit ya. Perhaps you’d prefer trousers? Do ya bind, love?” 

The sheet Carr was trying to pin slipped, and she swiped at the air, trying to catch it before it plummeted to the dusty earth below. She barely caught it in time. Clutching the damp fabric to her chest, she fixed wide eyes on the other woman over its folds. 

“What?” 

“Yer hair, love. It’s a right mess, if ya don’t mind my saying so. Don’t worry, I’m fair good with the scissors.” Elena wiggled knobby fingers, which Carr eyed doubtfully. 

Couldn’t be worse than what I’ve done on my own, Carr thought with a scoff. “No, I mean… that other… part.” 

Why in the fuck would this woman ask if she binded? Was she failing at passing as a woman that badly? Cool dampness pricked the skin of her chest, and Carr dropped the sheet back into the basket. She stared at the large dark splotch marring the front of her dress, grinding her teeth until her jaw ached. Guess that answered that. 

“Oh, hun.” Elena moved, reaching out as if for a hug, or a pat, or some other tactile gesture Carr wanted no part of. 

She stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m fine. Don’t need none of that. But… thanks.” 

The woman gave her a rueful smile. “Course ya don’t need it. But I do. Looking at what you’ve done to yer hair is painful. When yer done with those sheets, yer coming with me. And tomorrow, you’ll have the option of tunic and pants or that dress. Wear what makes yer heart happy.” 

Carr stared as the woman turned and walked away, her gait uneven. This was her first godsdamned day under Elena’s “care”, and the woman had seen right through her. What else had she seen? What was this place?

A deep-throated murmur sliced through her racing thoughts, and Carr turned back, hurriedly snatching up the fucking sheet. She peered over the top of the line as she pinned it up, watching as Lox walked down the path, an arm around the healer’s shoulders, only to disappear into the main cabin across the way. 

Her spine stiffened. She hated that she had no clue what they were doing in there. Were they still caring for Resh? Or torturing him? Would he even know the difference, in the state he had been in? If he screamed, she wouldn’t hear it. If he died, she wouldn’t know it. 

She hung the rest of the cloth in the basket with stiff, jerky movements. She had to find a way to get back in there. Today. The laundry could provide a decent excuse if she were to deliver it. She’d just wait for Lox to leave again. Hopefully, before Elena came back for her.  

The door to the cabin opened, as if in tune with her thoughts. Well, that was fast. Carr stepped behind a sheet, fiddling with the pins on the edge while she watched through the gap in the line. 

Lox emerged, shuffling out strangely. He sidled out onto the porch, then down the ramp. Someone’s arm was looped over his shoulder. She caught a glimpse of dark, curly hair before he turned and the bulk of his body blocked her view. The healer’s face appeared next, their brow furrowed. They followed Lox off the porch. 

Carr’s steps were silent as she ghosted between the swaying lines of fabric. Lox reached the bottom of the ramp and turned, pointing at something with his free hand. The man Lox supported showed no interest in whatever he was gesturing at, but Carr sucked in a breath and stopped, ignoring the laundry flapping around her while she took him in. 

His face was waxen, his hair limp and stringy. He was too thin, his stomach sunken beneath the bandages wrapped around his chest and shoulder. That couldn’t all be the result of the last few days, Carr thought, eyeing him critically. 

He barely appeared to have the strength to stand even with the larger man’s support, but he was. Resh was standing. Was outside. Was fucking alive. 

Before she was aware of what she was doing, Carr’s feet were moving. Damp fabric slapped her face and arms as she ducked and dodged and then she was out and he was there and… 

And… 

She froze just outside the final line, hands clenching into fists. 

And she couldn’t go to him. 

Her muscles trembled, her will barely holding them in check. She needed to stand before him, prove that she was real, that he didn’t need to carry those shadows in his–

Lox’s head snapped around, and she spun to adjust the… the perfectly fine shift pinned behind her. 

The feeling of eyes on her prickled down her spine, and she fought the urge to turn and challenge them. Instead, she moved behind the first line to adjust something else, angling her body to allow a side view. 

It wasn’t Lox’s eyes weighing heavy on her skin. 

It was Resh’s. 

The distance between them meant nothing. She locked gazes with him, watched the emotions flit through those dark depths. 

“Hey, looks like you’re finished. Great timing.” 

Carr jumped, turning to find Demex and his group of guards tromping down the path, fresh off their shift. Fucking early, she thought, looking up at a sun that was only half past its zenith. 

He walked up to her and draped an arm over her shoulder, pulling her into his side. She cringed internally but was careful to control her physical reaction. Resh’s gaze burned the side of her face as she looked up at her guard. 

“Hey. You’re back early–” She cut off when he started walking, forcing her along with him. “What–” 

“Gotta check in with Elena, then we’re going to the gathering cabin.” 

His tone was light, but his body was laden with tension. Carr craned her neck, trying not to flinch at the look in Resh’s eyes. The leader of Demex’s group approached Lox, whose face set into stoic lines as the guard gestured beyond the gate. 

She ducked out from under Demex’s arm when they emerged from the laundry. “Tell me what’s happenin’.” 

He reached out to grab her arm. “There’s no time, Arah.” 

Lips pinched together at the name she’d given him, she dodged his grip. “Make time, Demex.” His name twisted off her tongue like the knife she kinda wanted to twist in his gut for being between her and Resh right now. 

A heavy hand landed between her shoulder blades, and he guided her behind the cabin beside the drying lines. The warmth from his palm was still less than the heat of Resh’s gaze. She flicked her fingers behind her back right before they disappeared from view, hoping he caught the message and didn’t do anything stupid. If he even believed she was real, that was. 

Down by the small lake, Elena looked up and raised a hand. Demex glanced at Carr, then sent off a flurry of hand signals that were too different from the thieves cant for her to make out. Elena gave a sharp nod, abandoning her task. To do what, Carr didn’t know because Demex crowded her into the side of the cabin. 

Her hands shot up to his chest, exerting pressure to keep some fucking space between their bodies, but he just leaned in to whisper into her ear. 

“Hallin’s guard is progressing through the forest with singular purpose, straight towards this camp. A camp they shouldn’t know exists.” 

A shiver went up Carr’s spine. So soon? 

“I know you left the tent that first night. When you returned, I’d hoped it was because you decided not to run off after all.” Demex’s breath was hot as it brushed against her ear, the side of her neck. “Now I have to hope it wasn’t because you were ratting us out.” 

He pulled back, still entirely too close for her comfort, and captured her eyes in a gaze so intense it made her shudder. She dropped one of her hands from his chest. 

“I like you, Arah. And I think you fit in here.” He ducked back in, pressing his lips to hers before she could decide if she needed to dodge or not. 

She gasped, and that was all the invitation he needed, plunging his tongue into her mouth. 

It was all she could do not to throw up as it twined around hers. Her fingers dug into his waist, her wrist brushing against the handle of the blade sheathed on his belt, which he seemed to take as a positive sign. His body pressed into hers, crushing her against the wall of the cabin.

The familiar, paralyzing panic washed over her. This time, she refused to let it stop her and wrestled with it, forcing the unnatural stiffness from her limbs. Forcing her hand to move. Forcing herself to pretend. 

But while the kiss seemed to last forever, it was over before she could force herself to kiss him back. 

“Just wanted you to know,” he said, flashing her a crooked smile as he pulled back, his cheeks flushed. “Hopefully, there’s a here for you to still fit into when this is done. Now, go to the cabin. You’ll be safe there.” 

Demex loped off towards the lake and Elena, leaving a trembling Carr behind. 

She leaned bonelessly against the wall, hands behind her back, fingers caressing the hilt of a familiar blade. 

Next

[renee-writer]

The Changeling Chapter 1

AO3

It was dangerous. She hears Geillis behind her shouting that. Still the baby’s pitiful cry draws her. Who would leave their child out in the cold to… her feet move faster.

 

“It is a changeling. Your messing with forces ye dinna ken!” Her mate tries once more. When her feet start up the hill, Geillis stops. She backs up. “I am out. This is on you.”

 

The baby lays on a rock , under a covering tree.  The poor thing’s cries get weaker.  She lifts it up, placing it against her heart.

 

“Poor little lamb.” She feels it’s labored breathing against her. Sick, the poor thing is sick.

 

She discovers it is a boy when she undresses him, shielding him from the wind, so she can exam him.

 

A listening ear is placed on his tiny chest. She hears the crackling. Pneumonia. He needs warmth, ginger tea , hot compresses on his chest.

 

“Sassanach, Geillis said you were here.”

 

“Jamie, he is sick. We need to get him back to Castle Leoch, so I can start treating him.”

 

“Nae, you need to put him back.” Her fingers stop re-bundling the baby as she stares at him.

 

“What? He will die out here!”

 

“Probably. His parents placed him out here because he is a changeling, a child replaced by the fairies. They believe there own child will be returned.”

 

“Insanity! He is just a sick baby!” He shrugs.

 

“Maybe. You need to let him be.” She ignores him, tucking the now bundled baby under her own shawl.

 

“He will not die from exposure. I am taking my patient back to the castle. Are you coming?”

 

He knows it is useless to fight about it. Pledged to defend her, he can’t against her own foolishness. Mumbling curses, he follows her down the fairy hill.

 

“Sassanach,” He shakes his head and helps her and her tiny burden onto Donas. He sits himself and grabs the reigns, “how is he?”

 

He feels horrible for praying that God takes the lad home before they reach the keep. She doesn’t understand the danger in bringing the child there.

 

“He is holding on. Hurry Jamie, please.”

 

It is her please that has him hurrying Donas into a full gallop. He should be taking his time but, he loves her. That fact and the knowledge, deep in himself, that she is right. The lad deserves a chance at life.

 

He will defend her against his uncle’s and anyone else who wants to harm her. That is his vow. The protection of his body. It might well come to that.

 

“Well, if it isn’t the Frasers. What do you have there?” Angus looks at her chest where the child lays still.

 

“My latest patient.” She dismisses him like she would a bothersome fly, without a backwards glance.

 

Jamie gives Angus a warning look. After seeing Donas to a nearby lad, he hurries after his wife.

 

She heads straight to their room. Most people she passes treat her with deference. She is honored as a healer. Some lasses though, see her only as the interloper who stole Jamie away.

 

“What do you need?” He asks as soon as their door is shut. His preference is that as little people know of the existence of the wee lad. If he survives then he will, nae, they will decide what to do then.

 

She gets it. “Thank you.” She gives him a list of supplies to fetch from her surgery.

 

“Bolt the door behind me. I will call out when I return.”

 

She nods and does. Then she strips her little patient in front of the roaring fire. In it’s light, she sees that his nail beds are blueish. “Little man, I am Claire. I am going to do all I can to save you, alright. You have to give me a hand. Fight.”

 

She starts to heat flannel over the fire. His chest is raspy and it pulls in at each inhale. She gives him a thirty percent chance of living the night out.

 

“At least he will be here, in the warmth, being taken care of.” She thinks.

 

Jamie returns. She lets him in and he bolts the door behind himself.

 

She wraps the baby up in the warm flannel. Ginger root is crushed fine and brewed into a tea.  She adds a bit of honey to it. After it cools some, she spoons it into his tiny mouth. More ginger is wrapped in a small cloth and placed on his chest.

 

She holds him, rocking and softly singing a song she recalls her mum singing to her.

 

“Now what?” Jamie sits by her.

 

“We wait and see if he has the fight to live.”

 

Jamie starts to pray.

[holdmeclosertinytaron]

RHW: Epilogue

Story Page / Playlist / Wattpad / AO3

PLEASE READ: The day is here. Right Here, Waiting is officially over. It's been a ride, to say the least. I've laughed and I've cried, but I've enjoyed every single minute of it. @brayndilyn and I turned a tiny little idea into something that I am infinitely proud of. Her love, support and help has been amazing and this story has given me a friend that I will cherish forever, so thank you, B!

You may notice that this epilogue is set on the 5th of August, 2023...TODAY. I wanted to do something fun and cool and having the story end on the day that it ends just seemed so fitting. I hope you enjoy the epilogue as much as you've loved the rest of the story. I'm off on a little hiatus now but I'll be back soon.

Word Count: 6.4k

Warnings: PURE FLUFF

August 5th, 2023

After a wet July filled with continuous torrential downpours, August brought with it the promise of the sunshine that everybody craved. Taron and Liliana had quickly escaped the hustle and bustle of London at the first sign of sun to spend the week in Aberystwyth with their family. 

Liliana was excited to spend Matilda’s twelfth birthday with her. Matilda had started high school in September and had been so busy that Liliana hadn’t been able to spend as much time with her as she would have liked. Having a week to see her as often as she liked made her insides jump with excitement. 

The second day they were in Wales, it was a warm Saturday morning and Liliana woke up before Taron. He nestled into her back with his nose tucked into the back of her neck. Liliana lay in bed for a little while after she’d woken up just to enjoy Taron’s touch on her skin, but when she grew a little too warm, she climbed out and pulled on some leggings. 

Tina was already downstairs when Liliana slipped into the living room, and she turned her attention away from the TV to smile at Liliana. 

‘Good morning, honey. Sleep well?’ 

Liliana nodded. ‘I did, thank you. Taron’s still sleeping but I don’t think it’ll be too long until he’s awake.’ 

‘You came downstairs,’ Tina chuckled. ‘I give him a solid fifteen minutes before he comes in here looking for you.’ 

‘I was going to say more like ten. I had to try so hard to pull myself away from him. I’m going to go make a cup of coffee. Would you like one?’ 

Tina shook her head softly and held her mug up. ‘I’ve got one already, lovely. Thank you though. I’ll come and chat to you in the kitchen, I’ve had a bit of an idea I want to run by you.’ 

Liliana walked through to the kitchen with Tina close behind her. She’d been at Tina’s house overnight countless times in the almost eighteen months that she and Taron had been together, but it wasn’t until that morning that she realised just how at ease she was there. 

She didn’t feel the need to tiptoe everywhere she went in fear of making too much noise with her steps. She didn’t stop in doorways to listen and make sure that nobody was in a room before she entered. 

And she felt completely free to make herself a drink or get something to eat without having to ask or feel like a burden. She let out a shaky breath as she grabbed the mug that Tina had bought specifically for her, and she blinked back tears. 

‘So this plan?’ Liliana said to try and distract herself from the emotions racing through her. 

Tina settled herself on one of the dining chairs and watched Liliana glide around the kitchen effortlessly. ‘I was thinking, because the sun has finally decided to make an appearance and because I want to celebrate getting to spend the entire week with my two oldest babies, what if we have a barbecue this afternoon?’ 

Liliana’s heart swelled at Tina calling her one of her babies, and she turned to her with an emotional smile. ‘That sounds really lovely. Taron and I could go to the shops if you needed? It wouldn’t be a bother.’ 

‘No, it’s okay,’ Tina insisted. ‘If you’re okay to watch the girls for me, I’ll go. Plus, if I’m being completely honest, I need Taron to clean the barbecue before we use it.’ 

Liliana let out a small chuckle. ‘I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to do that. I ought to be making him a drink too, huh? Considering it’s been five minutes since I got downstairs.’ 

‘It might be a good idea. Do you think Eliza would be okay with Matilda coming around today? She could spend the night too, if she’d like.’ 

The corners of Liliana’s lips curled up into a grin as she nodded her head. ‘That would be amazing. Thank you, Tina. But please let me give you some money towards the food and anything extra. It’s the least I can do for everything you’ve done for Taron and me recently.’ 

Tina shook her head firmly. ‘Nope. I won’t take money from you, Lili. It’s what family does.’ 

‘Exactly. Family helps each other out. Let me give you the money for the crisps and things at least then.’ 

‘Liliana Esme,’ Tina chastised lightly. Liliana looked down sheepishly and it took her a short while to finally look back up at Tina. 

‘Sorry.’ 

Tina chuckled with a small wink. ‘There’s been this idea floating around in my head for a few months now but I didn’t know when, or how to bring it up in the best way.’ 

Liliana furrowed her brows as she put the used tea bag into the small caddy next to the kitchen. 

‘I love you just as much as I love Taron and the girls. If anything happened to you, I would be beside myself. You are amazing, and I wish you’d had the grown up you needed in your life when you were little. I’ve been thinking…if you feel comfortable enough, this is, that you could maybe call me mum? You absolutely do not have to, I just thought…oh I don’t even know, I just thought it might be nice.’ 

Liliana’s breath stopped momentarily as a rush of contrasting emotions filled her mind. Tina had been more like a mum to Liliana throughout her teenage years than Eliza had, and she’d accidentally slipped and called Tina ‘mum’ on a few occasions. But knowing that she had Tina’s blessing–that she would finally be able to call someone mum again, and knowing that she had a mum who loved her, it sent something weird zapping through her body and she couldn’t control the emotion as she wasn’t quite sure what it was. 

‘That’s truly only if you feel comfortable though,’ Tina continued. She could sense the difference in Liliana’s demeanour and wanted to diffuse anything before it got too bad and Liliana shut down. The last thing Tina wanted to do was upset Liliana. ‘I wouldn’t ever want you to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. 

‘It’s just…I want you to have a mum that you feel safe with. I want you to have a mum that loves you how you deserve to be loved, because my god you deserve to be loved, Liliana. Anyway, would Matilda prefer hot dogs or beef burgers for the barbecue? I’ll be getting cheese and doing some fried onions. If she’s anything like you, I’ll be buying Tesco out of onions.’ 

Liliana breathed out a slightly teary laugh. She was thankful for the sudden change in subject. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to call Tina mum. If anything she would have loved to. There was just something holding her back. 

Things with Taron were perfect, to put it swiftly, but she knew just how quickly things changed in her life; how quickly things went bad. The last thing she wanted was for her to finally feel comfortable enough in a family for it all to be pulled from under her. It had happened before, and she swore that she wouldn’t let it happen again. 

‘You may need to buy Tesco out of onions. Chances are she’ll probably have one of each. She isn’t fussy, bless her. You could put any food in front of her and she would give it a go. I don’t know where she got that from, I was so fussy when I was younger.’ 

‘You weren’t fussy,’ Tina said seriously. ‘You just hadn’t had the chance to try a lot of foods when you were younger so you were nervous to sway away from what you knew. I never had an issue with you trying new things. But if she likes both, I’ll make sure there’s both. The girls are the same. I’ll get Taron to clean the barbecue when he comes downstairs and we’ll be good to go. I’m surprised he hasn’t come down yet, it’s been ten minutes.’ 

As if on cue, Taron strolled into the kitchen with his arms stretched above his head. He yawned as he made his way over to Tina to kiss her on the cheek. 

‘Morning, mam. I heard my name. What are you talking about me for?’ 

Tina looked at Liliana and they shook their heads simultaneously with small laughs that made Taron look between them with raised eyebrows. 

‘I bet I didn’t,’ he laughed as he stalked towards Liliana. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her lips gently. ‘You came downstairs without me.’ 

‘Unlike some, I wake up early and don’t want to spend all day in bed,’ Liliana chuckled playfully before she kissed Taron again quickly. ‘Your mum suggested that we have a barbecue this afternoon. We’re going to watch the girls while she runs to Tesco and I’m going to call Matilda soon and see if she wants to come. Eliza won’t have a problem with it.’ 

Taron twisted his body until his hips rested against the worktop. He wrapped an arm around Liliana’s waist and tucked her into his side before he grabbed her mug of coffee to steal some. 

‘Oi,’ Liliana chastised with wide eyes, ‘that’s mine, you bugger. There’s a mug behind you that I made for you.’ 

‘Yours always tastes nicer,’ Taron shrugged. ‘A barbecue sounds amazing though. Do you need me to clean it then, mam? It’s not been used for…I don’t even know how long. The chances are it’s a right mess and will need a good scrub.’ 

Tina licked her lips as she stood to put her empty mug in the sink next to Taron. ‘Funny you should ask,’ she said playfully. 

Taron shook his head in fake disbelief. ‘I knew I heard you talking about me. I’ll get it cleaned this morning for you so it can sit for a while before I light it. Can I put towards the shopping? I don’t like the idea of you buying everything.’ 

‘I already told Liliana that I won’t accept any money from the two of you for it. You are my babies and I want to treat you. Am I okay to leave the girls with you now? They’re due to be waking up soon but I have a feeling Tesco will be packed if I leave it much longer.’ 

‘That’s fine,’ Liliana said quietly before she leaned up to kiss Taron’s cheek. ‘I’m going to go and call Matilda. I’ll be right back, babe.’ 

***

As Taron had thought, the barbecue was in need of a deep clean. It wouldn’t take much to get it clean but Taron got the power washer out to help speed things up. In a feeble attempt to stop his t-shirt from getting wet and dirty, he pulled it away from his body and threw it just inside the back door where it would be sage. 

While he cleaned, Liliana and the three young girls all laid out on blankets on the grass together. The three younger girls played on Taron’s Nintendo Switch while Liliana read a book. After working on her second book for so long, it was nice to read for pleasure rather than for work. She’d made sure to pack multiple books for their week away so that she wouldn’t run out of reading material. 

Liliana read her book until Taron rubbed his palms on the back of his jeans to dry them off somewhat. He’d distracted her so well that when Matilda scooted closer to her, she hadn’t flinched. It wasn’t until Matilda tapped her on the leg twice that Liliana diverted her attention away from her boyfriend to her little sister. 

‘Thank you for letting me come,’ Matilda said quietly while she hugged Liliana from the side. 

Liliana turned to her and smiled fondly. For all of their differences, they were still so alike. They had the same personality, and Liliana could feel the love that radiated from Matilda in the small moments. 

‘You are so welcome, Little Bug. Are you excited to start year eight in September? I can’t believe that you’re already in your second year of high school.’ 

‘I’m a little nervous. Year seven was fun but the teachers have said we’re really starting to get into things this next year.’ 

‘Year eight is a little harder than year seven.’ Liliana wasn’t the type of person to sugar coat anything when it came to Matilda. She wanted her to know that things could be hard, and then give her ways around making it easier. ‘But it will go by so fast and you are so smart that you won’t even be able to tell the difference. Before you know it, you’ll be in year eleven and doing your GCSEs. High school can be hard, and I don’t want you to let anybody tell you otherwise. 

‘And people can be awful, trust me on that one. But you are so headstrong, and so incredibly smart that I know you’re going to do amazing. If anybody starts to give you trouble–students or teachers–let me know. Taron and I went to that school and most of the teachers we had are still there and I can talk to them. Mr Francis, he could probably tell you some stories.’ 

‘He’s my English teacher!’ Matilda exclaimed happily. ‘He’s always really fun.’ 

‘That sounds like Mr Francis. He was Taron and me’s English teacher too. He caught us passing notes one day and I don’t think I will ever live that down.’ 

Matilda’s eyes widened in glee. ‘I’m going to ask him about you both in September. Hey, Lili? Do you think that you and Taron will ever get married?’ 

Liliana took a deep breath and moved her attention back to Taron. His back tensed as he cleaned and Liliana couldn’t help but want to run her hands down the length of it and let them settle just inside the waistband of his jeans. She shook her head before her daydream turned into something erotic and turned back to Matilda. 

She leaned in close and whispered, ‘I don’t know, Tilly, but I hope we do. I love him a helluva lot and it would be nice to be married to him.’ 

‘Would you have kids?’ 

‘I don’t know, Til. That’s something that Taron and I would have to talk about one day. Why? Do you want us to get married and have babies?’ 

Matilda nodded. ‘Yeah. I’ve always wanted a brother. And who doesn’t love babies?’ 

Liliana chuckled and hugged Matilda to her side. Though she kept her eyes on Taron. Matilda had planted a thought in Liliana’s mind and it had turned into a whole daydream about one day being able to call Taron her husband. The thought made her insides turn to mush and she couldn’t hold back the grin that took over her face. 

Unbeknownst to anyone else in the garden, Taron had heard Matilda’s question and had strategically taken a break from using the power washer in the hopes that he would hear how Liliana answered. Taron had known since March of the previous year that he wanted to spend the rest of his time on Earth with Liliana. 

In the April of 2022, he had designed and bought a ring that he hoped she would love, ready for whenever Liliana was comfortable enough to take the next step and solidify their relationship further. 

The past eighteen months had been utter bliss for Taron. He finally had the woman of his dreams and his best friend all rolled into one. But he knew that Liliana still faced her inner demons every day and he was willing to wait as long as she needed before he asked her the most important question. 

A couple of months after their trip to Scotland, Liliana had moved in with him and that was enough for Taron. Liliana was the first person he saw when he woke up, and the last person he saw when he went to bed. If they lived like that for the rest of their lives without the titles of husband and wife, he was sure that he wouldn’t have minded. 

Five months prior, when they celebrated their one year anniversary, he had casually brought up the idea of marriage but Liliana had been hesitant. She had drawn in on herself again and Taron knew that it was too much too soon. He apologised for bringing it up and made it up to her again and again that night, whispering sweet nothings into her ear continuously. 

He had hoped that the idea of marriage wouldn’t scare Liliana so much, and he’d come up with a tentative plan to propose to her in November. It would be the two year anniversary of when they reunited at Liliana’s first book launch. But Taron carried the ring with him wherever he went, more so that he didn’t forget where he had hidden it, but also because he was worried about how Liliana might react if she saw it. 

The second he heard Liliana tell Matilda that she wanted to marry him, he thanked his lucky stars that he’d taken the ring to Aberystwyth with him and that it was stashed in the bottom of his suitcase where there was no risk of Liliana coming across it. He decided to seize the moment, and a plan started to form in his head. 

Liliana and Matilda had continued to whisper while Taron had his epiphany, and luckily they hadn’t noticed that he’d stopped cleaning. He closed the lip of the barbecue softly so that it didn’t make too loud of a noise. 

‘Well, I believe it will do for our spur of the moment party this afternoon.’ 

Liliana looked up at Taron and smiled happily, ‘Great job, babe. It looks clean enough to eat off of!’ She winked at him and he gave her a sarcastic look while he planted his hands on both hips and wiggled them joyfully. ‘You are something else.’ 

‘You got that right, baby. I’m going to go and get cleaned up and put my top back on before I join in on all the fun you four are having. Do any of you want a drink while I’m inside?’ 

‘Can you bring us all another can, please? Thank you.’

Taron went back into the house and continued to work on his plan to get Liliana alone for a little while. He hoped that if he timed it right, they could be back at the house to celebrate with everyone before the barbecue was in full swing. 

He bounded up the stairs two at a time and changed into a pair of shorts and a new t-shirt before he grabbed the ring from his suitcase. Before he left the bedroom, Taron checked in the mirror to make sure that the outline of the small, velvet box wasn’t obvious. 

As luck would have it, Tina walked in the front door as Taron got to the bottom of the stairs. She jumped a little but chuckled when she saw that it was only Taron. 

‘God you have a way of sneaking up on me,’ she laughed. 

‘It was totally not on purpose,’ Taron laughed. ‘Let me help you with these bags. What did you buy, woman? They’re heavier than the girls.’ 

‘Hush your mouth, child. Though I may have gotten carried away with snacks. So the chances are we’re eating all of this over the next few days.’ 

‘That sounds like a plan to me. I actually need your help with something.’ 

‘Sure, baby. What do you need?’ 

Tine looked at her son with a puzzled look plastered on her face. She could tell that Taron was up to something but she couldn’t fathom what it could possibly be. He put the bags he carried down on the table and then turned to his mum fully. 

He checked the back garden to make sure that none of the girls were on their way inside before he stuffed his hand into his pocket and gripped the small box that he’d kept well hidden for almost two years. 

‘I happened to overhear Liliana telling Matilda that she hopes that we get married one day. And I figured, why not ask her today?’ He pulled the box out of his pocket and snapped it open to show his mum the ring. ‘This wasn’t the plan but I can’t wait any longer. It’s been such a long time coming. She’s the one, mum. Liliana is the one that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.’ 

Tina’s jaw was on the floor and she had tears in her eyes. It wasn’t a surprise that Taron wanted to propose. She’d known how Taron felt about Liliana for years, but she hadn’t had a clue that he already had a ring. 

‘I was going to tell you that I planned to propose but I just can’t wait any longer.’ 

‘Oh my goodness, this is amazing. My baby boy is going to propose!’ Tina’s voice got louder and Taron immediately turned to the back garden. 

‘Mam,’ he shushed her through gritted teeth. 

‘I’m sorry, honey, this is just so exciting! What do you need my help with?’ 

Taron closed the box and stuffed it back in his pocket so that there wasn’t a risk of anybody else seeing it before the time was right. ‘I need you to distract Rosie, Marie and Matilda while I get Liliana up to Constitution Hill. I thought it only fitting that I ask her there. It’s one of the most important places to us.’ 

Tina nodded in understanding and pulled Taron in for a long hug. ‘Of course, that would be perfect. And leave it to me, I’ll make sure the youngest are good while you’re gone. I’m so proud of you, little boy. And I’m so happy that Liliana is ready for forever. I told her that she can call me mum if she wants to and she got emotional. She’s really starting to open up more and I’m so happy.’ 

‘I think she’s finally ready to accept that she’s part of a family now. I just want to make it official. I’m going to go and get her. We won’t be too long, promise.’ 

‘Take your time, Taron.’ 

‘Thanks, mam. I love you.’ 

‘I love you too.’ 

Taron hugged his mum once more before he walked to the back door and admired the four girls at the top of the garden. He slowly made his way over towards them. 

‘Hey, Love Bug, come here for a second,’ Taron called to Liliana as he neared where she rested on the grass. He opened his arms and Liliana automatically stepped into them when she got up. ‘Mum’s just got back from Tesco and it’s such a lovely day out. What do you say we got for a walk quickly? I was thinking about Constitution Hill. It’s been so long since we’ve been up there.’ 

Liliana gave Taron the same puzzled look his mum had and asked, ‘But what about the barbecue? Surely we could help your mum get everything ready? She’s already done so much by doing the shopping on her own. I can’t leave her to prepare everything on her own too.’ 

‘She had mentioned asking the girls to help her prepare everything, and you know how much they all love to help out in the kitchen. Especially when Matilda is here.’ 

Liliana was still visibly sceptical, but she couldn’t deny that she would love some alone time with Taron. ‘Sure, babe, that sounds like a great idea. But let’s take the funicular up so we aren’t gone too long. I would still like to help your mum prepare some stuff.’ 

‘My thoughts exactly,’ Taron smiled as he leaned down to kiss Liliana. ‘Come on, let’s get going.’ 

He wrapped his arm around Liliana’s shoulder and walked them towards the garden gate that led them down the side of the house and to the street. Matilda looked up at Liliana and the crease in her brow was obvious even from where Liliana was. 

‘We’re just going to take a quick walk up the hill. We’ll be back before the barbecue starts, I promise,’ Liliana assured Matilda. 

Matilda smiled and gave her a small wave goodbye before going back to playing games with the other two. Liliana waved at Tina as they passed the kitchen window. She could have sworn that Tina winked at her when she passed by, but the sun was streaming in through the window so Liliana thought that it must have been the sunlight getting in her eyes. 

***

Liliana had clocked the grey clouds making their way to town before Taron had, but she was sure the forecast hadn’t predicted rain so she hadn’t mentioned anything. Though she wished she had when she felt the first drops of rain hit her skin. Taron groaned loudly and grabbed her hand to pull her into the nearest empty doorway. 

He pushed her against the wall softly and looked down at her with so much love that Liliana could physically feel her heart pulling towards Taron’s. Her hands slid up his front until she could pull him closer to her by the neck. 

Her lips brushed over his and as she was about to pull away, Taron leaned forward and kissed her passionately. She sighed dreamily into him and held onto him tighter. When they had been caught in the rain and took shelter in a shop doorway all those sixteen years before, all Liliana had wanted was for Taron to kiss her. 

Liliana smiled into the kiss and Taron copied. He thought the same thing and without needing to use words, they gave each other what their younger selves wanted. 

‘Do you think they’d be happy?’ Liliana asked when they pulled apart to catch their breath. 

‘Who?’ 

‘Our eighteen year old selves. Can you imagine telling them that in sixteen years they would be back hiding from the rain but happily kissing one another because they were in a relationship and had been for over a year?’ 

Taron thought for a moment as he held Liliana close. The rain had stopped already but they made no moves to continue their walk. He let his hands trail up to Liliana’s waist where he held her against him. He just hoped that she wouldn’t reach her hands down too low where she would feel the ring box nestled safely in his pocket. 

‘I think they’d be annoyed that it took us so long to say something to one another,’ he said with a small smile. ‘But then I think they would be so happy. I know younger me would be. All I wanted that day was to kiss you.’ 

‘All I wanted was for you to kiss me.’ 

‘Then this is for younger us,’ he smiled before he leaned down to plant another kiss to Liliana’s welcoming lips.

***

Thankfully the rain hadn’t stopped the funicular and it was running when they got to the bottom of Constitution Hill. Liliana climbed in first and took a seat on the small bench to the left. Taron squeezed in next to her and put his arm around her shoulder happily. 

‘Thank you for indulging me, Lil. I love spending time with everyone at home but I wanted a little bit of uninterrupted alone time with you.’ 

Nobody else stepped onto the funicular and as it started to carry them up the hill, Taron leaned in and kissed Liliana. It was deep and passionate, and the passion behind it caught Liliana off guard momentarily. Though she leaned in and kissed him back just as fervently. It didn’t matter how much time passed, kissing Taron was still her favourite feeling in the world. 

‘Thank you for suggesting this, T,’ she panted when Taron pulled away. ‘I agree, it is very nice to have some alone time with you. No funny business though, we are still in public and the ride up is only a few minutes.’ Liliana wagged a finger at Taron and he put his hands up in surrender with a devilish grin. 

‘I wouldn’t dream of it, Love Bug. But there’s nothing saying we can’t have a cheeky make out session, right?’ Taron winked at Liliana and leaned in to kiss her again. 

By the time they pulled apart, they were nearing the top of the hill. Taron grabbed Liliana’s hand as he stepped out so that he could help her climb out of the carriage safely. She thanked him softly and leaned her hand on his shoulder as they walked. 

The closer they got to the edge of the hill, the more Taron’s nerves started to hit him. His throat got dry and his hands had started to shake. He hoped that if Liliana could feel the shake, she would think that he was a little on the chillier side. The drop in temperature at the top of the hill worked in his favour. 

Liliana pulled away from Taron and walked towards the edge faster than Taron. The views never failed to amaze her and the second she saw the entire bay, her lips curled into a smile and she took a deep breath. Her love for Aberystwyth grew once again when she’d started to go back with Taron. She no longer dreaded being there because she knew that she would be with the people who loved her the most. 

The sunshine that had come back quickly after the rain had stopped, and by the time that they got off of the funicular, nobody would have known that it had been raining ten minutes previously thanks to the almost cloudless sky that had taken over. 

Liliana towed Taron in the direction of their spot while she soaked up the sunshine, her head tilted up to get as much vitamin C as she could. They had never officially declared what part of the hill was their spot, but they both knew. They had spent countless hours up there talking about life while watching the clouds. 

It was where Liliana had felt the safest when she was a teenager, and it was where they had realised that they had fallen for each other all those years ago. Liliana stood right at the edge and looked out at the sea. Small waves crashed against the bottom of the hill and Liliana matched her breathing to each crash. 

There was a faint smell of seaweed in the air and the Y Consti cafe behind them wafted the smell of freshly ground coffee into the air. Taron stepped next to Liliana and took her hand in his. They stood and stared out at the sea for a moment, taking in the warm breeze and the few fluffy clouds that dotted the sky. 

As Liliana was about to tell Taron that she was enjoying the moment with him, she felt him tug on her hand. When she turned to face him, he was lowering himself onto his left knee. He took the ring box from his pocket and Liliana’s breath caught in her throat. 

‘Taron,’ she managed to choke out as she squeezed his hand tightly. Tears had already found their way to her eyes and she couldn’t help the ones that fell down the length of her cheeks. 

‘Don’t say anything yet,’ he said quickly before he gulped. ‘Please. I want to say this before I forget anything I want to say.’ 

Liliana nodded, allowing Taron the room to say whatever he needed to. Though she knew what was coming. Her heart thumped rapidly deep within her chest and tiny drops of sweat started to build on the small of her back as the anticipation of what was about to happen poured over her. 

When Matilda had asked her earlier in the day if she was going to marry Taron, Liliana hadn’t expected for Taron to propose to her that day. Things started to fall into place as she watched Taron. She’d not taken notice of it before but she should have realised that Taron had stopped cleaning at the right time, and then the next thing she knew, he whisked her away to their spot and he was on one knee in front of her. 

She swiped away the tears that had started to fall so that she could look at Taron clearly, but she couldn’t wipe them away fast enough. They were falling freely down her cheeks and she saw a couple of people out of the corner of her eye watching the scene unfold in front of them. 

‘It has been almost sixteen years since I said goodbye to you on that train platform,’ Taron started through a shaky breath. ‘When the train pulled out, I remember wondering if I was ever going to see you again. It was like I was losing the thing that mattered the most to me. When I got home, I sat in your chair and I just cried. I didn’t want you to leave, but I didn’t know if I was allowed to say anything. I remember thinking that I’d lost you for good.’ 

Taron paused and took a deep, shaky breath. Liliana wanted nothing more than to reach out and cup his cheek, to pull him into her body and hold him until the end of time. She wanted to be the one to look after him. But she held back so that he could continue in his own time. Liliana was in no rush. They had the rest of their lives to look forward to. 

‘Then one morning when I was checking my mail, I found an invitation to a book launch. The second I read the name on top, Liliana Esme, I could feel the hole in my heart shrink a little.’ 

Liliana could remember making the guest list for the book launch as if it were only yesterday. She’d been asked to give a list of names of people who meant the most to her. When Taron’s name popped into her mind, she couldn’t decide what to do. It had already been over a decade since she’d last seen him, and a whole lifetime had occurred in that time. 

She knew that it was a long shot that he would turn up, but she invited him anyway. And she would send that invite again just to have Taron by her side again. 

‘You have always been my safe space, Lil, and I have loved you since we were eighteen years old. I wake up every morning and fall in love with you even more. The hole in my heart healed when I saw you again, and every day with you makes the scar grow smaller. 

‘These past eighteen months with you have been the best of my life. It’s been a continuous adventure and I can’t wait to relive every single one for the rest of my life. I have loved dancing in Washington Square Park with you; eating croissants on a balcony in the middle of Paris; swimming in the Mediterranean Sea; running into the sea down there in the middle of the night in just our underwear.’ 

Liliana laughed through the tears that streamed freely down her face, and she held Taron’s hand tighter, if that were even possible. A stray tear fell down Taron’s cheek and Liliana leaned forward to wipe it away with her free hand. Taron leaned into her touch and let the corner of his lips turn up into a gentle smile. 

‘Liliana, you are the strongest person I know, and the love that you show everyone around you knows no bounds. You love so hard, and with everything in you. Yet you struggle to love yourself, even now. It’s almost as though you are so busy loving everyone else that you forget to share that love with yourself. 

‘I want to be the person who shows you love when you don’t feel like you can show it to yourself. I do not want you to ever feel the way you felt growing up. You’ve had me in your corner forever, but I am going to prove to you that I’m not leaving that corner. Not for one second. On your hardest days, I will be there. On days where we’re frustrated with one another, I will be in your corner. I will be in your corner no matter what. 

‘I want you to feel loved every second of every day. And one day, I hope that you’ll have children in your corner. Children that you brought into the world. That…we brought into the world.’ 

Liliana took a deep breath. The thought of children wasn’t as scary as she would have imagined, but she was nowhere near ready to think about it yet. Though she knew Taron wouldn’t push anything, ever. 

‘You are going to make an amazing mum one day, Lil. I have no doubt about it. I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love someone. You are still my safe space, my guiding light, my strength on my weakest days, and my warmth on my coldest days. I want us to be a family. I want us to start a family that will always show you love. ‘

Taron took another shaky breath and looked up at Liliana. His eyes were steady as they fixated on Liliana’s, and his hands stopped shaking just enough that he was able to snap the ring box open. 

Liliana’s breath caught in the back of her throat as she looked at the delicate ring in front of her. It was everything she could have imagined and so much more. The sapphire and diamond ring glistened beautifully in the sun that shone down around them. 

The smile she gave Taron was so big that it hurt her cheeks and she could barely see in front of her. But her smile told Taron everything he needed to know. She was ready. Liliana was ready to start the next chapter of her life. She was ready to be a wife, ready to take on the world with Taron, and ready to open up her life to him wholly. 

‘Liliana Esme,’ Taron continued through a smile equally as wide as Liliana’s, ‘will you marry me?’

[rjmartin11]

Just One Kiss

Chapter Four

Pairing: Elvis & female!reader

Summary: Once upon a Memphis time, you and Elvis were very close friends who turned lovers. After he went into the Army, you both drifted apart, leaving you heartbroken. Time passes, and you go on a Vegas business trip with your long-term boyfriend, Edward, and find out that your old lover is performing at The International Hotel. Old feelings surface once again, and you plan on making this a trip neither of you will soon forget.

Word Count: 2.4K

Warnings: I didn't finish this chapter. I'm so sorry.

Author's Notes: Welcome to Chapter Four! If y'all survived the last chapter, let's see how y'all deal with this one! I was doing edits, and somehow, it posted the chapter early. Again, thank you, friends, for all your likes, comments, and reposts. They are all greatly appreciated! If you like this chapter, like, comment, or repost! Let's get to the drama!

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ💋✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ

You wake up, and you're back in 1969, tucked away in the comfort of your Eddie's arms. You scoot away from him to catch your breath. You hadn't truly thought about Memphis or the ones you left behind for years.

When you arrived in Florida, your aunt was very welcoming. There wasn't anything she would do for you. You lived comfortably. More comfortably than in Memphis. You worked and toiled to help make ends meet.

You hated seeing your mama struggle to keep you both fed. Your single mother slaving to get all your essentials. It bothered you so much that you started helping with everything around the house. Cleaning behind yourself. Do the dishes and the laundry. Swiping and mopping the kitchen. Clearing the clutter. You were not going to burden your mother.

When you became of age, you started helping as much as you could. You got a job your junior year of school and kept up with your studies. Between work and school, you drifted apart from all your friends. After high school, you had no friends at all. Most were starting families, and others moved away for college.

That's where Elvis and the Memphis Mafia came in. They allowed you to let loose and have fun. Oh, the good times you had. All the parties, music, dancing, and food. They were your escape. Elvis was your haven.

You cried yourself to sleep for a week when you got to Florida. Thinking about Elvis and Anita. You couldn't seem to get it out of your mind. It tortured you for days. Your Aunt Lily was your saving grace. One night, she came into your room and said, "That's enough of that, Y/N. Go wash your face, and we'll talk."

You did as you were told and washed your face. When you entered back into your room, Aunt Lily was sitting on your bed with her hands on your cane placed in front of her. She took one hand and patted the mattress, asking you to sit beside her.

"What boy have you allowed to trouble you so?" Aunt Lily asked.

You look in her eyes with shock. How could she possibly know this? You said nothing to her at all.

"How...how did you know?" You stutter out.

"I've had my heartbroken once or twice in my youth. Boys, do those things hurt us and leave us crying as if we bought it on ourselves." She pauses and looks at you. Taking her hand and placing your chin to look her in the eyes. "Rule number one: big girls don't cry they get even. Don't ever let me see you cry over any boy again. You aren't a little girl anymore. As of last week, when you made the decision to move away from your mother's house, you were a woman. Act accordingly."

So began the lessons of moving on, letting go, and being a woman. Aunt Lily's words rung deep and true within you like a bell. The more you learned, the fewer things hurt. You saw things differently. The world was your oyster, and people were your toys.

You never ever forgave Elvis for hurting you. You allowed yourself to grow into a cold woman for not allowing your heart to heal properly. You used man instead of falling in love. Your excuse, "Men use women. Why can't we use them?" A lesson from your aunt.

Your Aunt Lily was a gentle soul, but you see the broken woman within. She loved hard and got hurt all the same. She married well, and her husband died and left her with a fortune she intended to pass to you. She truly loved your Uncle Martin, but she believed that he was taken from her as a punishment for all the pain she caused in her youth.

You sat in the window contemplating your life decisions. Everything you did in the last nine years led to this. Hurting the one who hurt you. You sip on your coffee and gaze on the window.

You hear Eddie groan and turn to see if he's okay. Oh, Eddie. Dear sweet, Eddie. He's a great guy, but you can't give him your heart. You've guarded it for too long. You don't believe that he'd hurt you, but you can't risk it.

For fear that you'd see Elvis again, you make the ultimate decision to conceal yourself in the room for the remainder of the trip. It's best to play this out safely.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ💋✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ

Back in the Penthouse:

Elvis and Laura are waking up.

"Good morning, Elvis." Laura whispers, running her hand through his hair.

"G'morning, baby. You sleep well?" Elvis asked, kissing her cheek.

"I always sleep well when I wake up in your arms. Oh. I gotta go pee pee."

Laura gets out of bed and rushes to the restroom. Elvis lays his head down on the pillow again. Closes his eyes and wishes you were here with him. He wishes you were both still in room 202. He sits quietly to conjure up a scheme to get you alone to talk.

"Elvis, baby, what do you have planned for today?" Laura calls out from the bathroom.

Elvis hears the toilet flush and the sink water as it runs down the drain.

"I gotta practice for the next show. Make sure everyone's on point. I'll be free for dinner tonight, though." He shouts back.

"That's great."

"What's on your agenda today?" Elvis asks curiously. Laura never truly cares what Elvis does, so he finds it interesting that she asked. He knows she's up to something but doesn't know what.

"I'm going to the pool with the girls, and I was going to ask that sweet friend of yours, Y/N, to come join us."

Elvis, realizing Laura's words, rose off the pillow to sit up in the bed. The plan is forming right before his eyes. He could have planned it better himself, but his hasty girlfriend is planning everything for him. A way for you to just be around so he can get you alone eventually. Laura continues to speak.

"I'm sure she's familiar with most of the wives. The more the merrier. We can even have dinner together tonight, baby. Wouldn't that be fun? I bet you eaten out with Y/N in years."

"Oh, not too long ago." Elvis thinks.

"I'm dying to meet her beau."

Elvis walks into the bathroom as she finishes up her facial routine. He grabs her from behind and looks at her in their reflections.

"Yeah, you should call her. Set up everything. Y/N a bit of a loner. She was really close to the girls' way back when. She may love an invite. But don't push her. If she says no. Just accept it and invite her to dinner. She won't refuse you on a second offer. It's not her way of doing things." Elvis explained, kissing Laura on the cheek.

"Okay. I will!" Laura rushes out the bathroom and begins to call your room.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ💋✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ

Back in your room with Eddie:

"Oh. Good morning, Y/N.

"Morning, Eddie. Would you like some coffee?"

"I'd love some coffee, baby. And a kiss, please." He asks with those fresh morning eyes.

You bring him over the other cup of coffee you ordered and place it on the nightstand. You lean over and kiss his lips.

"Did you sleep well, Eddie? No bad dreams?" You whisper to him, stroking his cheek.

"I slept well." Eddie says, grabbing your hand. "But I can tell you didn't. If you're up drinking coffee before me, I know something was weighing heavily on your dreams."

You look away from Eddie. Thinking about last night and Graceland and your cabin, all these thoughts consume your mind.

"Y/N, come back here to me." Eddie lightly tugs on your hand.

You turn back to look at him, a forced smile on your face. He doesn't have to know your inter thoughts. You can fake it til you make it.

"How's your breast?" He asks, changing the subject for you.

"Oh, it's just fine. All better. That butter took the sting right out." You say placing your hand on your chest.

"Eddie, what do you have planned for today?"

He sighs. Eddie hates to disappoint you, but the truth is,

"I have meetings that start in the next two hours. I'll be off on time for dinner, though. We can eat whatever you want."

"Two hours?"

Eddie nods his head, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well, Eddie, baby. All we need is forty-five minutes." You say, leaning over to taste his coffee stained lips and tongue.

He is all for the morning sex and you want to erase all your sins from last night with Elvis. He's a few strokes inside you, then the phone rings.

"Ignore it, Eddie. Please." You beg.

"I'm sorry, baby. It may be important. It might be work wanting me sooner than expected." He says, rolling off of you. You grunt with unsatisfaction. Why does work have to be first? When do your needs get met?

"Hello?" Eddie answers the phone.

...

"Oh? One second, please. Y/N, it's for you? Eddie says, handing you the phone.

"For me?" You ask, confused. Who could be calling you? The only people who are aware of your presence here are Eddie and his work associates, but they don't knowledge you as a friend. The Mafia knows you're here and... Elvis. Oh no.

You place the phone to your ear and answer.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Y/N. It's Laura!" The voice booms in the receiver. Oh, this is worse. Much worse.

"Oh...ah... good morning, Laura. For what do I owe the pleasure of your call?" You ask, laying it on thick.

Eddie gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom. You're disappointed that you didn't get off, and Eddie practically brushed you off for work. What was the point of this trip if you couldn't really be with him?

Laura continues to speak.

"I feel like we got along so well last night that I thought you might want to come to the pool with me and the Mafia wives."

You hesitate. You know a few of them and were not big on grand reunion with everyone. You planned on staying the duration of your trip in the room alone to avoid Elvis.

"Laura, dear, that's so sweet of you to consider me, but I'm afraid that won't be able to make it."

"Oh no. Why not? Are you sick?" Laura asked.

"Oh no. I'm quite well. I... have plans with Eddie. They will take up my morning."

"No, you don't." Eddie comes out the bathroom drying himself off. He speaks loud enough for Laura to overhear. "I gotta go into my first meeting." Eddie finishes.

You cover the mouth of the phone and speak to him. "Eddie, you said in two hours. Plus, you didn't finish my massage."

"Later. For dinner, baby. I promise." He leans in kissing your forehead.

"She going to the pool!" Eddie yells into the phone.

You widen your eyes as your plans for concealing yourself are thwarted.

"Yes! I'm so excited for you to come!" Laura shouts. You can practically see her jumping on the bed. "You'll love the girls. You probably know a few of them anyway. Have you had breakfast? Come eat breakfast with us."

"Ah. Okay." You surrender to her pleas. This is a battle that's been lost since Eddie outed you.

"Great. Meet us for brunch at eleven in the East Dining Hall. It's private, plus it leads right to the pool."

"Oh, I can't wait." You say with a hint of sarcasm.

"Me either. See you then. Bye!" Laura hangs up, and you hear the dial tone and slowly place the phone on the hook.

Eddie walks past you all dressed up for his meeting. Getting his tie together, he glazes at you. He feels your energy. He grins at you, knowing that he got you out of bed and up for breakfast.

"I feel so betrayed by the one who's supposed to care for me the most." You say.

"You go make some new friends, huh. Eat breakfast. Get out the room. You don't have any friends in California."

"Eddie, baby, you're my friend. I only need you."

"Y/N, baby. You have me. Go make more friends."

"I honestly don't want to make Laura a friend. I believe she's naive and deceitful. There's a chance she's more deceitful than..." You couldn't finish the sentence.

You know what kind of woman you are. You know what you've done. You've conned, lied, and deceived, and you indulged it. Yet it didn't make you happy. It didn't fill up the whole that Elvis practically punched through your heart. It did not mend the broken parts of your soul. It just kept you from crying.

"She more deceitful than who?" Eddie wondered, grabbing your hands to catch your attention.

"A girl I once knew from back home. She wasn't always cold. She was quite lively and sweet. Then your boyfriend broke her heart." You said, looking into Eddie's eyes.

"Wow. What happened to your friend?"

"No one knows."

Eddie kisses your hands and your forehead. "Baby, you need to tell me more about this over dinner. I gotta go now."

Eddie let's you go, grabs his wallet, and heads for the door.

"Have fun with your friends and be good." He says, closing the door behind him.

What he failed to realize is that you were better off alone. Once you leave this quiet room, the game is on. When you leave this room, no one is safe. Elvis and Laura are fair game and don't care who gets hurt. Let the chips fall where they may.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ💋✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ

You arrive at the brunch fashionably late for your entrance. You decided to wear your pink, orange, and white floral bikini set complete with sash and a shear white cover-up.

You see, the ladies gather their brunch plates. Some are seated, and others are chatting over the food selection. You look around for familiar faces, and then you spot her. You smirk and walk over to greet your old friend who's currently sitting with your hostess.

"Well, well." You state, catching everyone's attention. "Mrs. West, as I live and breathe."

The expression on Pat's face is shock and surprise. It's quite worth the price of admission.

"Y/N? Oh my goodness, Y/N!" Pat stands from her seat and runs to you, embracing her long-lost friend from Memphis. You're a bit taken aback. You didn't know how she'd take your presents.

Taglist: @missmaywemeetagain @beeandheroddobsessions @headfullofpresley @everythingpresley @epforeverohyes @plasticfantasticl0ver @pianginferno @powerofelvis @ab4eva @foreverdolly @searchingforgravity @thatbanditqueen @daffieapple @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @epsgirl @richardslady121 @literally-just-elvis-fics @thememphisflash1935-1977 @c-rosenn

[thewolfisawake]

"His Majesty claims they're twins but I can't be so sure with the young prince."

"Perhaps it was apart of a deal he struck to have the princess. I'll give you a daughter if you take my nephew too, sort of thing."

"Me and Sceolan are twins," Nathair spoke up, startling the servants with his voice. Well, more of him voicing he overheard them, "she's my sister."

"O-Of course you are, Your Highness," one stuttered, "we were just speaking some silliness is all."

"Oh."

"Please excuse us--"

--

"Da," Nathair called as Balmoral helped prepare them for bed. He called, "Aye, a leanbh?"

"Am I your nephew?" Nathair asked, trying to piece the question as he turned over the conversation he overheard.

This brought a furrow to the man's brow as he asked, "Of course nae, you're my yin and only son. Fir wye would you think thon, Nathair?"

"The maids said that...but a lot of people say things like that. I'm not a prince. Sceolan's not my sister. You're not my dad.......but that's not true, right? Am I yours, da?"

Balmoral didn't know what to tackle first. His first instinct was silencing anyone that had spoken ill about his child. Especially to where he could hear...where he could harbor these doubts. The hackles smoothed as he looked to the tears welling in the boy's eyes.

He found purchase on the bed and held arms out for Nathair to fall into as those tears fell. Balmoral wrapped around him as he said, "Och, my dear fitheach beag...how ah wish you ne'er hae tae hear those words. But ah swear tae you, thon you are mine, Nathair. You and Sceolan are my joys thon ah hae loved since before your birth and will love tae my grave. Those horrid lies are merely that. Lies."

Nathair's tears welled and spilled as Balmoral reached to wipe them away. He held the boy closely as he cried. Sceolan wormed her way from her bed and trekked to the bedside. Her father lifting her with his free arm. Rather than seeking an embrace, she leaned towards her twin. Her hand reaching up to stroke his dark locks, much like how their dad would do when they felt bad.

"And to take those lies, I'll tell you truths," Sceolan said, "They're mad they don't have what we have. You're my brother. Da's our athair. And no one can take that from us."

Balmoral remained locked like this, assuaging Nathair until the tears stopped. Wiping away the tears Sceolan shed, feeling the pain her twin felt. He held them both, his tone soft and words a balm.

Sensing the unwinding that came with sleep, he laid Nathair down first. He pulled the blanket up and kissed away a prickle of shimmer that threatened to fall. He whispered, "Thabharfainn fuil mo chroí duit, a leanbh."

He carried Sceolan back to her bed but felt her hold tighten for a moment as she was slipped into her covers, "Why are do they treat Nathair different? We're the same."

"...because they dinnae ken what to say." Balmoral told her, tucking a lock back as he pulled her blanket closer. She vainly fought sleep as she said, "I'll fight anyone that makes you or him cry."

"I am certain you will," he said giving a kiss to her forehead, "oide mhath, a sheòid."

With a practiced quiet, he made his way to the door. He gave a last look back to the children that have drifted off. With a quiet promise to return, he stepped out. A slow breath of frost left the king as the ire he suppressed rose.

How dare.

The first thought came to him, freed from his peace as a parent. The cynical and sinister thoughts belonging only to a bastard such himself welling. It was the last night guiltless for those with such loose lips. Sceolan said she would fight anyone that made either cry but Balmoral would end anyone that darkened her or Nathair's hearts. It may have been the secret that he and Mhoirbheinn decided to keep but he would not stand for their children to be burdened by it. The guilty would not escape unscathed.

[yaniidme]

vol 1. where it’s never just hair, is it? ft. @ofnari @tbhsilver

was life ever fair? truthfully was it ever? she pegged this question every time she let the words fall from her lips. every, single, moment the same thoughts followed and she found herself reliving her life in that short second. her mother’s death, her hearing loss, his death and other adverse situations she’d gone through she realized again and again, it never was. and maybe that’s why now she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the mirror. her face swollen, eyes an angry red, all visual cues of her finally falling apart. 

she shouldn’t have allowed it to go on this long, get this far, to this point but she couldn’t let the seams of her sanity loose just yet. not when she looked to her left and saw someone else breaking. someone who was worthy of that kind of grief, directly attached to such a terrible situation, xin was just…collateral damage. but the breathing exercises and the jogs, and weed and the cigarettes none of it was working. the waves, the wind, the earth, the grass, none of it was working. she was just heavy, too heavy for nature to carry her and so she lay cold on the concrete. consumed by the squeak of breaks and the symphonies of car horns. simply surrounded by the things that suffocated her until breathing had become associated with blood and violence.

the scissors shook in her hands, she should put them down, go to bed, revisit in the morning. her throat burned too bad from silent screams and she was in no condition to be doing this ‘the right way’. but, it made it so….hard to fucking breathe. the sound of the sheers snipping was amplified in her cochlear, like the slice of a samurai's blade in a movie. over and over and over again the sound pulled goose bumps over her skin, but each clip of the strands made it just that much easier to get air into her lungs, until finally she could breathe again. the air was cold and crisp as it entered, leaving her skin tingling and hissing, releasing steam into the atmosphere. but as she exhaled, she just felt…sick. this will do for now, this has to do for now. maybe she’d try a new color, maybe she’d be able to be reborn as another person, someone who didn’t feel this much pain. 

her fingers missed cascading down the long shafts of her tresses, it was hard to get them to stop at the crude ends of her homemade hair cut. it would have to be fixed she was sure but for now…it will do. and even in her distress she wandered through their dorm, tucked from her long hall aching for some sort of reassurance. standing in front of silver’s door made her stomach turn and gurgle, but she’d knocked and walked in anyways, the blank glaze in her eyes landing on the sole cause of her current grief. “do you like it?” she asked quietly, her voice breathy trying to hide the fact that she’d been crying. xin yan pretended to miss the shock and worry that only moved in her eldest sister’s glistening eyes, eunhae wouldn’t dare let it read over her face, not where xin could see, she’d noticed that a long time ago. the elder simply, beckoned her to her bed, and went to work fixing her botched mess of a blunt cut. even as xin cried, silver simply snipped away in silence, and for once xin felt….like she could grieve.

-

she supposed that was why she was sitting in front of the airbnb’s vanity mirror, silver behind her again and nari now to her right as they discussed the many different ways xin could wear her blonde strands once they’d cut it again. the conversation this time was light hearted, though she and their leader shared a knowing glance in the mirror. the first time xin cut her hair was a burden they both had to share. it was an unspoken trauma between them both and they knew even in this moment, pretending they were here again because xin couldn’t breathe. she’d grown her curly hair down her back again, kept it a bright blonde for the sake of her identity, but she could only paddle about the open seas for so long before growing tired, and now water tipped right beneath her nose, already consuming her lips.

dae-sung took up real estate in her brain, but eunwoo seemed to be fighting for the right to stick to her ribs. but she couldn’t bear both, xin wasn’t strong enough for that. and she’d hoped that maybe this would help her rid herself of the tenant that seemed to never want to leave. *he* had been the catalyst to her identity crisis, and now she was trudging through the sludge to find herself again, breathe again. “it’ll be fine, maybe we’ll just do here?” xin said, referencing a line just above her shoulders. “i’ll probably do a fun color so i’m not worried anyways.” she offered reassuring their leader through the mirror. when eunhae seemed to relent, xin gave her an affirming nod, her hand reaching over for nari’s, tangling their fingers together. she was sure they could all feel her drowning too, residual energy heavy and overcast over the entire group when their zen member was clouded by spiritual grief. they’d thought the hawaiian air would help clear the soot and dust that filled their every breath but she wasn’t sure.  just like before, it sliced the air near her ear like a sword. and for the first time since, xin yan…took a deep breath.

[starsweepers]

It was 4:30 in the morning. Ally woke up to the sound of her little sister's call. To any sibling, being woken up at an ungodly hour was simply annoying. Especially when there was a possibility of an unexpected trip downstairs to relay a message and retrieve dad or mom.

Ally groaned into her pillow, but no-one heard but Natasha. The feline huffed in at being awoken as well, and in retaliation, curled tighter into a knot. The silver Maine Coon made her point - she wasn't about to move an inch.

It was hard to get going, only because Ally wanted to stay in the comfort of her cushy bed. A plush trap that tried to lull her back to sleep. Nice, warm...cold and slimy? Wait.

There it was again.

Eye blearily opened, only to find her arm being nudged by a certain black canine.

"Yeah...yeah, I heard her, buddy." She tiredly pet the black canine, at least to offer assurance that she was truly waking up now. "I'm coming...I'm coming."

It took a moment, but eldest successfully made it out to bed, and followed Storm back to Dawn's room from the conjoined bathroom.

Ally listened to what Dawn had to say.

She had to take a moment or two to consider the request, or perhaps it was a sleepy brain that lagged a bit behind. Thankfully, it caught up, and the older sister softened.

"...Dawny, I...think I can help you with that."

The offer was made during a rather large yawn.

          SHE WAS SCREAMING. well, not actually. but in the confines of her nightmare, dawn was screaming. loudly. perpetually. to the point her throat was rubbed raw and dry. she couldn't swallow, could barely breathe. while it was only ONE part of her whole system, it made her feel as though she was on fire; caught in agony. rolling and twisting in the depths of sleep, face contorted with her horror, and open mouth was giving rapid exchange of oxygen, leaving her just as worn out in reality as the clutches of slumber.

     shadows were pressing in, looming over her. she couldn't run. she could never run. and even if she did, her speed wasn't going to get her far. not fast enough. dawn was at the m e r c y of the clawed hands that scraped at her from shapes of ink. they dragged her and pulled. storm wasn't there, her dad wasn't there, no one was there. pitiful whimper, trying to contain her sobs, her cries, trying to cease the screams. don't be more of a burden.

                   eventually, she jerked awake, aware of a chill due to sweat beading her forehead, slick on her body. gross... but would dry soon enough. not like there was anything she could do about it, and she wasn't soaked at the very least, just enough to let her know how deep the panic had run, and she choked on a few breaths that she attempted to swallow. brown depths were looking every which way, but darkness remained unmoving, and the brunette lay back into her pillow, s o b b i n g. the imagery still clung to her mind, a heavy blanket she couldn't shake for fear of freezing against the loneliness. nightmares were horrendous, but at least they didn't exist on their own. she could make companions our of the terrors... right?

        she wanted her dad. she wanted warmth to fill the empty space of bed beside her. storm loved her but wasn't the most attuned cuddler. not to mention she just wanted hands that could grab her and tell her she was fine. she was fine she was fine she was fine she was-

                  "get daddy..." whispered to storm, a request, but the canine whined, clearly uncertain as to how to solve the problem here. he knew who scott was, he knew what the ask was... but her door was closed and the item that usually danged on the handle to his convenience had… conveniently fallen off. he had no thumbs. USUALLY it was left open regardless, but she had been playing in quiet for a bit before tucking into bed and didn't want snoops... it had been forgotten to be reopened.

       he was trapped, and she knew it.

                     "ally? ally...?" little voice attempted to call, attempting to plea to the other room, to gather attention and bring it there. failure was her meeting, and dawn sunk into her pillow. her heart felt like it was suffocating, and strained sobs wracked her throat more. even if she hadn't actually be screaming, she felt as though she had, and it hurt to try and put much more effort into her cries. it would take a great deal to get anyone other than her siblings to hear her.

       luckily, storm knew this was feasible, and he pulled from where his head lay on the bed to disappear into her bathroom. it connected to ally's bedroom, and it seemed that that door wasn't shut. therefore, the shepherd WAS capable of getting ahold of someone... much to the elder sister's thrill.

                          a long stretch of silence. it gripped dawn tightly, like the shadow hands closing back in. she sunk into her bed further and further, the child wanting to scream once more. wanting to cry and wrench and squirm. but the door creaked, and she watched storm move to his bed, the soft glow of her nightlight enough to make out his midnight form. he settled, but in the doorway was ally, and the child trained tired gaze to the teen there. a sniffle or two, trembling. embarrassed, sorry. she HATED having to wake ally. it made her chest feel crushed, like something heavy had landed upon it, ripping away her strength. this was her sister, not her babysitter...

         "...the nightmares are scary. can you... can you go see if daddy will lay with me? i don't want to be alone." admitted concerns, choking over her words, yanking her blankets up close, then wrapping an arm around fifi beside her, the stuffed dog worn about the neck from nights upon nights of clutching.

         the offer to come was both surprising and not. it wasn't uncommon for ally to step in when she could, but dawn had figured that her sibling would want to return to the comfort of her own bed - to curl up and enjoy the rest of the hours in peace. however, there would come no qualms, no concerns, and no sadness over the possible outcome. ally was... an inspiration to her. tough yet bright and warm and cheerful. chaotic but in charge and valiant and brave and loyal. funny with a hint of spice and stubbornness... so much to look up to, to try and e m u l a t e. widened eyes, shimmery with relief and love, little hands loosening on her stuffie to hold out to her family. to embrace in relief and comfort, a comfort her heart longed for. knew she needed and knew she would accept.

                      "you're the bestest, ally..." soft tone, barely squeaking it out. sleep wanted to lull her, fear was already running off. her voice was strained, but she no longer cared. soon, ally would be lying beside her, gentle yet strong, sleepy yet protective. all would be right.

@storybounded

[journalgirlsworld]

TW//: Mentions of Death, SA and, ED’s

I think the first time I wanted to die was sixth grade. Maybe around Christmas when reality hit. My grandpa died the 16th two days before my 12th birthday and 10 days before Christmas. My mom was stressed about losing our apartment. We lived in section 8 housing where they did inspections, it wasn’t always the cleanest. She was stressed and I remember her yelling at us. Me and my sisters that if we didn’t help we’d end up homeless. “Do you want to live in box on the street?” She yelled. We went to bed with our older tucking us in as I asked “are we gonna be homeless?” She proceeded to do what any good sister would do and told us no and that everything would be fine. I remember thinking as I laid in bed that it’d of been easier for her if I was never born and that I wish I was dead. About to an few weeks later was my grandpas service. I didn’t know how to feel, we weren’t close and I didn’t even really know the guy. He took me out every once in an while to eat and was nice to me. I remember hearing my mother cry and feeling her pain surge through me as I leaned on her shoulder and cried. I hate crying in front of others so I stepped to the side. Tears rolling down my 12 year old cheeks as I look out on other tombstones wondering why he’d passed and why I was crying cause I barely knew the guy. Sensing someone staring I look over to see an cousin looking. I don’t know him much at all. So I wipe my tears angrily and leave to comfort my mother hiding behind her. I realized that I couldn’t die because she’d cry like that for me. No matter how many times she’s yelled at me, beat me or I’ve been angry at her. There’d always be even if it was an small, an part of her that loved me and would cry out over my body. So I carried on, burdened by pain.

The second time I was truly ready to end it all was 8th grade. I can’t remember much but I’m assuming it’d been an particularly rough day. It was night, I thought she’d been sleeping. So I laid on my bed in our shared room crying. Shuttering as snot rolled down my nose, drooling with my mouth gaped open breathing in air as my body racked with cries. Cries of pain and guilt. Guilty because I thought I was to blame. The one to blame for an fellow classmate taking my innocent. Preying on my naivety. Guilting me and threatening to tell my mother that I’d been playing with glass and an lighter. I didn’t want to get in trouble right? Hear her say she was mad or disappointed? Beat me in one of her stress induced rages? So I said okay because I thought what we where gonna do was okay and normal. It wasn’t. It was horrible, i felt bad after. And I didn’t even know why. And then due to being sooooo uneducated by the American school system when I finally realized it was too late. I’d just been raped at 7. Joining the other what I assumed to be 99% of young girls and women that are assaulted before or at 7. I was another #metoo. And you know who I was blaming? Myself! Because I didn’t understand that I was the victim. So when she suddenly asked me “what was wrong?” in that dark room at night. I simply said “nothing.” Because I thought I was to blame and I didn’t want her to be disappointed in me.

The latest time was during my sophomore year, I had an eating disorder, my school had just allowed students to come back to school with masks. My anxiety and social anxiety had grown, I didn’t know how to interact and I couldn’t do it. I was still getting yelled at, at home and I had no friends. So I begged and pleaded my mother before she finally allowed me to go online. She was ether gone most of the day allowing me to rot in bed slowly. My depression over taking me. My little corner in our shared bedroom cluttered with trash, my body unwashed for days, my curly hair matted and my stomach growling as I starved myself. I don’t blame her at all. She had my younger siblings to take care of. I didn’t need to take away from them especially during that time when money was oh so tight. So I kept quiet. I showed up to work everyday with an smile pretending I didn’t want to open that top kitchen drawer and slit my wrist. Smiling and cracking jokes before allowing my face to drop moments later. But my mom needed me so I kept going.

And now I’m still here, it hasn’t gotten that much better but I’m gonna start trying to get better. To have better and to feel better. To anyone struggling like I am now. It will get better but you’ve got to make the decision to make it better. It won’t happen magically from manifesting or shit like that. You’ve got to make it happen and everything will fall into place.

[loveforpreserumsteve]

Most Likely (high school reunion Stucky fic)

Four:

"Look," Steve scoffed, showing off his speed and agility by running around Sam, "I'm literally running circles around you."

"Man, if you don't shut the hell up, imma shut you the hell up," Sam panted.

Steve just laughed and fell in step beside the other man. Their run was almost done and then they could relax. Or, at least, they could try to relax. And by, 'they,' it was Steve. He just felt... off... without the kids.

The kids had always been his favorite part of his day and were definitely what he adored the most from his marriage with Peggy. He – like they had agreed – was a stay at home father. And for eight years he was a stay at home father until he and Peggy finally decided to do the mature thing and call it quits.

For anyone to see, it was obvious that Steve was the more hands-on parent. Waking them up in the morning. Getting them around for school. Packing lunches made with extra love and individual notes wishing the kids a good day. Dropping them off at school before he got ready for his own students to arrive. Then, he would pick them up, take them to soccer or tee-ball or ballet or whatever else their little hearts desired. Making sure that they ate a relatively healthy meal, did their homework, and then tuck them into bed.

Of course, none of that was to say Peggy wasn't a good mother or that she didn't love their kids. Because she did. She loved them so much! But Peggy's first love would always be her career, and Steve didn't fault her for that. He was the one who wanted to be a father, and they both knew their stances going into their marriage.

And Steve knew that – like him – Peggy would take on an entire army for their kids. Their kids knew that too. Sure, Peggy wasn't necessarily the most outright affectionate parent, but each parent loved in their own way. Peggy's happened to be praises. Hanging drawings on her fridge. Bragging about a good grade. Cheering the loudest at the kids' games.

Steve, on the other hand, took after his own parents. Making sure to give bear hugs and kisses on foreheads. Making sure to give them extra snuggles at bedtime and making sure to wipe their tears away when they cried.

It had been eight years since he was a stay at home dad, and he doubted that the kids even remembered that time, but he still did so much for them. He always would.

Now what was he supposed to do with them across the pond?

When their run was over, they caught their breath and stretched. Sam said, "Monica is making some beignets. If you, y'know, wanna come over for breakfast."

As much as Steve didn't want to be alone, he also didn't want to feel like a burden. And Steve knew that Sam didn't act like he was being a burden, but old insecurities die hard. Besides, the only person that Steve never felt like a burden to was –

Shaking his head to get steel-blue eyes out of his mind, Steve declined, "No, that's okay."

"Probably for the best," Sam smirked. Clarifying, "She's trying to teach Sloane to cook."

"Oof," Steve chuckled, thinking back to when he first attempted to teach Harrison how to cook. The poor kid had almost burned the house down from making rice crispy treats! Steve still wasn't sure how he had managed to do that, but he tried to keep an eye on him because the kid was going to learn how to feed himself.

"Hey, um," Steve started. Keeping his focus on the ground and his attention mostly on his stretches, he asked Sam, "Are you going to the reunion?"

"Hell yeah, I am!"

Steve was a little surprised at that. Moreso how hyped he was rather than his confirmation.

Sam broke it down, "I'm gonna show off my hot wife and brag about our badass daughter!"

"Glad you have a plan," Steve chuckled.

"Hey," Sam leaned against a tree, "What about you? Since the kids are with Peggy?"

"I, uh," Steve started, but stopped. He wasn't sure how he wanted to finish that.

There was a part of him that wanted to go. Show off the man he had grown into. See the shocked looks from those who he didn't have on his friend list. But mostly, he was afraid. Not of the bullies that he fought all of those years ago. Oh no, he wasn't even scared of them back then. No, what he was afraid of, was seeing Bucky Barnes.

Unlike most of the people from their graduating class, Bucky didn't have social media. No Facebook, no Instagram, not even a goddamn LinkedIn for fuck's sake. And at first, Steve had been relieved that Bucky wasn't friends with everyone but him. Because that had been his biggest fear after Bucky ghosted him. Afraid that he had personally done something to make his best friend not want to be his friend anymore.

So, at least there was that small silver lining.

Now though, he was afraid to see Bucky Barnes. Bucky Barnes and his perfect steel-blue eyes. Bucky Barnes and the chin dimple that Steve wanted to kiss, even to this day. Bucky Barnes and his infectious sarcasm. Bucky Barnes and his sunny, happy-go-lucky demeanor.

Just Bucky Barnes being Bucky Barnes. His perfect, stupid self.

God, Steve missed him. Missed him so fucking much that even twenty-five years later, it still hurt just as much as that first day of no communication had.

"It might be good," Sam offered, soft and kind. The same way he talked to the group down at the VA. "And besides, you can't tell me that you've never thought about showing off that body."

Blushing, Steve shoved Sam. Then, nearly dropped to the ground from laughing so hard when Sam fell on his ass. All the while, the Black man scowled up at him while extending his hand in a silent plea to be helped up. Of course, Steve did. He wasn't completely an asshole, after all.

Looking at his watch, Sam asked, "You sure you don't wanna come over for breakfast?"

"Yeah, man, I'm sure," Steve assured. As they started to depart in their opposite directions, Steve said, "Raincheck?"

"Raincheck," Sam agreed.

Needing to clear his head a little more, Steve ran home. There was so much that he wanted to know about his childhood best friend. And there seemed to only be one way he'd find out.

[animalanie]

Oneshot - Genshin Impact [Lover's Oath]

Game: Genshin Impact

Title: Lover's Oath

Pairing: Xiao X GN! Yaksha Reader

Word Count: +2.1K

Warning(s): Blood, injuries

2.7 end cutscene inspired me because I fell in even more love with Xiao :,) I didn't think it was possible but here we are.

If you enjoyed my work and want to look for more, here is my masterlist. Or you could request here from any of these shows!

Your cries of pain were drowned out by the heavy rain pouring down from the dark sky, as you lay in the grass now soaked with your blood. Your lifeless eyes began to shut, at last, after what felt like aeons of suffering.

"Xiao, have you ever wondered what it would be like to finally be rid of the Karma we carry?"

"Why would you ask such a needless question?" He'd replied after a moment of thought. "We lay our lives to protect the people of Liyue, and that is where it ends. We can never feel what it is like to live without the burden of our sins." He looked up at the setting sun as he stood against the railing of the terrace at Wangshuu Inn. Your shallow, heartbreaking smile didn't go unnoticed by the other Yaksha, for he looked at you from the corner of his eyes.

"Is that so?"

The memory flashed in your mind as your eyes shut, a painless expression taking over. "I suppose, I shall find out what awaits me," You tried to speak as you coughed out the remaining blood in your mouth.

"If only... I could look at you," You tilted your head to the side as your breathing became shallow, and continued, "One last time." You let the sounds of the droplets falling against the surface lull you to an awaiting endless sleep. You knew, all it would take would be one word, just one, for him to come to your rescue. All you had to do was call out his name, but it seemed so difficult. You did not want him to see you go like this. It was too painful of a thought for you.

"...Y/N!" You heard a voice calling out to you, and you wanted to turn to see who had suddenly heard your silent prayers. No matter how curious you were, your eyes refused to open up again and your hearing was far too gone to identify the owner of the voice through the thundering rain. You let the drops wash you away as you lost your consciousness.

You would finally rid yourself of this Karma.

At least, you thought you would have, until your eyes opened once more to the dim light of the moon shining through the window. The way it lit your room was almost enough to make you think you had entered the afterlife. But the pain in your abdomen brought you back to reality and you lifted your shirt to see bandages covering your torso.

You looked where your wound had been and lifted your arm to run a gentle hand across it. A sigh left your lips as you got up from the bed and tucked your shirt back in properly. After the traveller had opened up the gateway to the underground chasm, multiple monsters had grown restless and began chasing after the entrance. To make sure no mortals were injured inside the Chasm, you had been fighting off the dangers until a bullet pierced through your stomach.

A yell caught up in your throat as you kneeled, feeling a burning sensation spreading through the wound. Too focused on the monsters, you hadn't noticed a Fatui Pyroslinger standing atop a hill nearby. You looked to see him turning away and teleported to his location, slashing him with your elemental attack before he could run away.

You kept your hand against the gaping hole in your stomach as the burn from the bullet's pyro infusion spread continuously through your body.

"Y/N," You snapped out of your memories when you heard your name and saw Verr Goldet standing at the door to your room. She entered and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"Verr, what happened? I wasn't supposed to be here." She sighed and removed her hand before staring out the window.

"Xiao would be quite angry if he heard you say that. Well, not that he's not already angry." You furrowed your eyebrows at the statement, urging her to continue explaining. "He... found you near the Chasm and took you to Liyue Harbor so Zhongli and Baizhu could help him. As far as I am aware, he went back after bringing you here to collect necessary medication."

"He did all of that?"

"Is that really surprising?" She tilted her head with a small smile as you closed your eyes.

"I need to go and meet him. He didn't deserve to see me in that state, after everything he's been through." You began walking past her when she spoke up again.

"Let him be, for now. He will want you to rest rather than go out once more. You can talk once he's back." Contemplating her reasoning, you nodded your head and continued walking.

"I'll be on the terrace, then." You walked up the staircase slowly and reached the top floor of the Inn. The breeze felt much better with the open surroundings as you walked further and leaned against the railing. The wind rustled your hair ever so slightly and you tucked a few stray strands away from your eyesight.

Your gaze fell to the ground beneath and you stared at guests at the Inn taking strolls along the river. "How am I supposed to protect these people when I can't even control myself?" You looked at your hand as you remembered how you had almost lost control due to your overwhelming karma after being attacked. To not cause casualties, you had to let yourself bleed out so you would have no power left to even move.

"I had no choice," You whispered, trying to convince yourself that it was the best possible decision. You clenched your fist and placed your knuckles against your forehead as a frown took a place on your face.

"Y/N!" The voice cut sharply through the silence, and you looked behind to see Xiao rushing over to you. Before you could say anything, he grabbed your face and pulled you closer to him. "What the hell were you thinking?! Did you lose your mind to attempt such a stunt?!" His voice was hoarse with anger and frustration as he glared at you.

"Xiao, I-" You tried to reason with him, but you had no argument against him. He was right: as an Adeptus, as a Yaksha, you should have been able to handle the situation much better. When you went silent, Xiao exhaled heavily but let go of you, stepping back to give you some space.

"Why didn't you call out for me?" He looked at the ground as he asked, not wanting to see your sorrowful expression any longer.

"I didn't want you to see me in that state." You answered truthfully and looked up to see his reaction. His head snapped to look you in the eyes.

"'To see you in that state'?! Is that what you were worried about?! What about our oath to protect one another? Or did you think it was made simply for reassurance?" His eyes raged like you had never seen before. "If I had been even a minute late, I would have lost you."

"Xiao, you have been through so much. For you to see me like that would have been too cruel." Your vision blurred as tears began welling up in your eyes. His eyes widened as he looked at you in confusion.

"And me finding you dead, when I could have done something about it wouldn't have been? All these centuries together, just for you to be ready to leave like that?" He asked, a lot calmer this time, as he stepped closer. "Y/N, we didn't take that oath so you could forget about it when you saw fit." You could hear the hurt in his voice as it strained the more he spoke.

"I know." Feeling guilty for your actions, you stared at your feet. You felt his hands cupping your cheeks and lifting your head to look back at him. Surprised at his actions, your eyes widened.

"I can't lose you too. So, please, call out my name when you find yourself in trouble- and I shall do the same." You nodded right away and placed your hands on his, feeling the warmth you never thought you would receive.

"I promise." You whispered as you stared at him.

"Good, because just thinking about what could have happened- I," He stopped himself from speaking further and looked away.

"But I'm here now because of you. I'm right in front of you." You attempted to gaze into his eyes, but he continued to stare beneath, at both of your feet. You wanted to see the beautiful shine of his golden irises again. "Xiao, look at me," you whispered in desperation, and he lifted his head up with hesitation. Your hands moved away from his and cupped his cheeks in return.

"I'm right here," You reassured him once more, your voice becoming softer by the second.

"Then, continue to stay by my side, as you always have," He pleaded, and you pressed your forehead against his.

"I will," You whispered as your thumbs caressed the sides of his face as you stared back into his hurtful eyes.

"I don't want to lose you,"

"You won't," You replied without waiting. "I was wrong to not call for you, but I know now. I will never leave you again." You cherished each other's presence as silence fell upon you, your foreheads still against the other. The gentle whistle of the wind brought forth a lovely tune, as if to serenade the two of you underneath the night sky.

"Xiao, can I kiss you?" You muttered, at last, not wanting to hold the question back anymore. You could see the shock take over his face as he stared at you as if to see if you were lying. Once he saw the look in your eyes, however, you could feel him relax in your hold. He simply nodded and closed his eyes, waiting for you to take initiative.

At that moment, it only felt right when you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his. You heard Xiao release a sharp breath through his nose before you felt his hand slide across your cheek and through your hair. His reciprocation urged you to get even closer and wrap your arms around his neck, so you did, while he wrapped his free arm around your waist.

All you needed was this moment to feel everything Xiao had to give you, and you wanted to give him your all in return. As his lips pressed further against yours, you felt him push you slightly against the railing, so you leaned back on it and let yourself be entranced by him.

"Y/N," he whispered between your kisses as his breathing grew heavy, but he'd rather continue feeling you against him than worry for air. Neither of you were ready to let go, afraid the other might disappear. So, you clung to one another in desperation, pulling at each other's clothes to get as close as possible.

Once you both opened your eyes and found yourselves looking at each other, all else faded away. There was only him, and there was only you. You felt tears prick your eyes once you saw his intense gaze on you, lost in the heat of the moment. So, you closed yours and leaned your forehead against his shoulder.

"Don't hide away from me now: I want to see all of you," he hummed and stroked your hair, his fingers as gentle as possible.

"How can you say such things without so much as a flinch?" You laughed through your tears and tightened your arms around him.

"Because I now know what I've been doing wrong. Let me correct it." He took a deep breath before continuing, "And I want you to look at me once more." Startled by his sudden directness, you looked up as he met your gaze right away. "Look only at me," He whispered before cupping your cheek and kissing you. A sigh left your lips as you closed your eyes, relishing the moment for as long as possible.

Your hands slid into his hair and softly stroked his locks as they brushed past them. The gentle and hesitant feeling of Xiao's lips melted away the longer he kissed you, instead, becoming desperate for more of your touch. "Don't leave me again," he begged, not letting you answer back as his lips were on yours again. You both knew there was nothing else to be said: the answer was obvious.

You had destroyed the walls between the both of you by kissing him first, and now none of you wanted this to end. It was clear in the way you called out each other's names, the way you conveyed your feelings without saying anything: an unspoken oath.

Your lover's oath.

[spooky-raccoon]

Troubled Dreams

@krakenguard​  Fluff and angst always send me.  I hope you enjoy my dear! 

        Getting a comfortable night sleep was no issue a large portion of the time for the little Tarnished woman.  Many nights she found peace sleeping beside her large Omen lover.  Even at times, he too could get some comforting sleep just knowing she was there.  Tonight however, Morgott found himself wide awake.

         Any time he had drifted to sleep, and dreams began to creep in, it was always of memories in the sewers.  The scrapping by to survive.  The chains that kept him down with their magic when he moved in ways that displeased the ones keeping them there.  He could still hear the wailing and cries of his brother and others who were there. He sat up in bed carefully and slid out to not disturb his sleeping Tarnished love.  He opened the balcony door and stood there, holding the railing, hoping the wind and still of the night could ease him.

        The same wind however had stirred her.  In her sleepy haze she looked on the bed for him though it's hard to miss someone as large as him.  Then she turned her head to see him standing alone on the balcony.  He was rocking back and forth, and his head was hanging down from what she could tell.  Quietly, she stood and wrapped herself in her robe.  When she took a few steps closer she could hear him fighting back crying.

        As she approached him, Morgott fell to his knees and his body was shaking as if suddenly he was hit with a chill right to the bone.  She rushed to him with outstretched arms.

       "Morgott, my dear, what's wrong?"  Her voice was panicked, and he felt a slight anger.  Not at her but at him for feeling this way.  “Darling, speak to me.”

        "It’s nothing. Go back to bed.  I'll be there shortly.  Just... needed some fresh air."  He couldn't look at her.  One of his hands quickly wiped at the tears that had managed to slip.

        "I'm not leaving you out here alone."  She managed to wedge herself between him and the balcony; wrapping her arms around his head to embrace him.  "I don't know what's going on in that mind of yours, but I promise you'll never have to go through it alone."

        He couldn't find any words to say.  None of them felt right.  Instead, his arms wrapped around her, and he laid his head onto her chest.  Never have to go through this alone?  He always had.  To him that's how it should have been as it was his burden.  But as she held him there was something else.  Truth in knowing that no, he had her, so he never was alone.  Perhaps a different night though he could discuss the things that happened in the sewers deep beneath their feet.  For now, she held him, and he held her.  Her fingers traced scratches along his scalp and by his horns which always was his favorite. Feeling and knowing she truly was there gave him the relief he needed to calm down enough to warrant going back to the bed.

        He stood, holding her as he picked her up and carried her back to bed.  She let out a hum of a giggle while kissing the top of his head as she always did when he picked her up.  It always gave a warmth in his chest when he heard her giggle like that.  He laid her back down in bed and usually he would wrap himself around her but tonight he found himself tucking what he could of himself at her side with his head cradled on the crook of her shoulder. This time she stayed awake to make sure he fell asleep before her and that his sleep was peaceful.  With soft hums of lullabies and coos of letting him know he wouldn’t be alone in any of this, she watched him as he slept.  That she was part of his newfound peace.  Eventually she drifted off to sleep, never letting go of him during the night.

[hobidreams]

june 1869.

you’ve never been able to hide from him.

pairing: joseon king!yoongi x reader genre: smut, angst, fluff? words: 2.3k contains: choices, consequences.

moonlit throne index. this is drabble 21. start from the beginning?

The moment you reach your private chambers, you collapse against the door. Your heart softly shudders with strain as you finally let the first tears fall, trickling steadily down your cheeks. The bundles you carried in fall to the floor as you cover your face with your cold hands, trying to stifle the quiet sobs that seem so determined to come.

You had gone into town after your work today. Walked down, escorted by a guard that you pretended wasn’t there. (The king now insisted upon such a thing whenever you left the palace walls, but you could tell the guard thought the job much beneath him.) You had just finished picking up a few ingredients from the market traders and was on your way to see if the bookstore had received new products when your attention had been caught by the sizeable crowd gathered outside the town clinic.

“Please, please, give me medicine for my daughter!” The peasant woman clutched a child that couldn’t have been more than two years old. The babe’s crying was as raucous as the yelling, the noisy mix of voices all clamoring with want.

“I need to see someone! My side— It hurts every day. I can’t work anymore. My family’s going to starve. I need treatment!”

The physician’s assistant stood on the clinic steps with folded arms and a bitter, hard look on his face. “Are we running a charity? We need to eat too! If you can’t pay, you can’t see the doctor!” He slammed the door in their faces, leaving them out in the sweltering heat, crying out that they could pay next week or as soon as they could, they just needed help right now, but the door remained shut.

Your chest felt stiflingly tight at the sight, compassion’s hand squeezing hard around your heart because you knew you could help. You had to help. You took a step forward, ready to offer your services only to have the guard block your way.

“Su-uinyeo-nim. We must return to the palace.”

“No, I want to stay.”

He shook his head. “It’s too dangerous. They could harm you.” And if they did, then his own head would likely be on the chopping block. Ridiculous.

“They won’t. They just need treatment, and I’m a physician.” You didn’t have many of your tools here but you could at least take a look, provide a diagnosis or recommend some easily obtainable herbs.

“The king would not approve of putting yourself in danger.”

You opened your mouth only to shut it. The king wouldn’t approve of a lot of things, but how could you just stand here and do nothing? These people, they needed your skills.

You took another step forward.

“Su-uinyeo-nim.” The guard’s voice was firm. He indicated for you to start walking away, towards home.

You shot him a stare, the hardest look you could conjure, but didn’t move. Not yet, damn it.

“Oh—uinyeo-nim!”

You dallied long enough. One of the women had evidently recognized your outfit and was now barreling towards you with a fire in her eyes. “Uinyeo-nim, you can help me, right!? It’s my daughter, she’s been having a fever and—”

“No, she cannot.” The guard’s glare was as sharp as the blade that the hand on his sword promised.

“Oh, please!” She threw herself against the arm the guard tried to reign her in with. Threw herself forward trying to reach you. “My daughter, my daughter will die if she’s not treated!”

“Let me—” You started, only for the guard to shove her harshly back since he could not do the same to you. She cried out, almost toppling over from the force as she clutched her baby, but he did not relent.

“We are leaving.”

He began to boldly walk towards you, practically into you, leaving you no choice in the matter. You were too afraid he might hurt her further if you did not comply even though every step away felt like a blow to your chest, like tiny fists pounding against your ribcage, making you sore and ache because the stark truth was that your inability to help her wasn’t even entirely the guard’s fault.

All those years ago, you chose to stay.

You never opened the affordable clinic mother had dreamed of. You put your feelings before the wellbeing of all those people you could have helped then, and you did it again today. Selfish. Selfish and helpless and selfish. For all the work you’ve done, it never feels like enough. There are always more patients in need and here you are, living among this extravagance and opulence but really getting nowhere. Not with the king. Not with how much change you can bring to the people.

Even your tears can only be shed here, in privacy and cowardice.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” you whisper through your blurry vision, but these are just words. They do nothing in the end and every choice feels like the wrong one and that there will only be dire consequences to follow them.

“Su-uinyeo-nim?”

At Eunuch Kim’s muted voice, you startle. Hurriedly, you wipe the backs of your hands against your eyes. “Y-Yes?”

“The king has requested your company tonight.”

“Oh.” Shit. You’re in no state to face him, not for what he has in mind, but you must go. “I-I’ll be ready in a few minutes. Just allow me to… change.” You push to your feet, onto shaky legs as you sniff.

“Of course.”

The brief walk over in the cool summer evening helps to pull some of the sorrow from your mind (or at least tucks it away to be revisited later when you find yourself as always, alone). Eunuch Kim is kind enough not to probe into the heaviness about you today; he simply chats about the latest novel he has picked up in town, a study of birds that he recommends heartily to you. The king is not so kind. The second you enter his chambers, tilt your head just enough for him to catch your eye, he frowns.

“You’ve been crying.”

It’s not a question.

“I, um, simply had some dust in my eyes, jeonha.”

Searching for a distraction, you begin to undo the tie of your blouse. You’ve never purposefully let him see you openly upset, or at least not since this ‘arrangement’ began.

“Dust. Really.”

You nod, unwilling to meet his stare.

The floorboard creaks as he steps towards you. Covers your hands with his own so he can strip you instead. You can’t tell if he believes you; he is so quiet while he pulls layer after layer from you, letting the fabric drop to the floor in bunches of crumpled white and light blue. The warmth of his fingers on your skin feels like comfort, even when it’s only a prelude to his desire.

Isn’t it stupid, that some excessive part of you wants him to openly refute your lies even as you tell them? To undress your mind as hungrily he does your body until you have no choice but to be bared and free, released from the burden of your own thoughts?

“Get on the bed.”

Maybe it’s better like this. You are the only woman he has ever known in this way; you can’t let yourself be so greedy, to again let that selfish part of you want and want and want so much that appetite consumes you, bones and all. You press your palms and knees to the hard bedding. Squeeze your eyes together. Force the tears to stay back while you wait for the burn to come.

His calloused hands land on your waist, but it’s to urge you to turn over instead.

“J-Jeonha?” you question, confused when you see him already on his knees, that piercing gaze provoking goosebumps from your skin. “Why…”

His hands find your ass, urging you towards the edge of the bed. He throws the top layer of his robes aside before he spreads your legs apart, letting them rest against the wood.

What… What is he doing? You find your answer as the sokgot strips fall to the floor beneath his touch and abruptly, before your poor heart has time to prepare itself, his breath blows warm across your clit.

“Ah, this—!” Wild-eyed, you try to squirm back, hot with embarrassment that his face is this close to your crotch. It floods you with worry after worry about your scent, the possible bumps marring your skin, the tufts of hair, but he doesn’t seem to care about any of it as he hooks his hands beneath your thighs. “You’re not—”

Soft lips and a slick tongue are pressed flush against you.

Your entire body seems to quiver at the first lick; a single taste of wetness followed by a second, a third, a relentless fourth that makes liquid pleasure crest, surging upwards, a high, rushing tide in mere seconds. You buck, hands finding no support upon the sheets and part of you wants to cover your face instead, to let die the moans that surface with each gasp but that means you would miss the sight. This unforgettable sight: inky eyes between your thighs, the quick, pink tip of his tongue swiping heat directly into your veins. It feels messy before he finds his rhythm, settles into a beat that only reaffirms how he is irrefutably dominant even while he is on his knees before you, for once not breaking you apart but making you feel so dizzyingly whole you could burst.

While his fingers have learned almost every inch of you, this remains a scenario you never even thought to entertain, never even thought he would want. His pleasing only you. His putting you at the forefront of even his own satisfaction. Stop. The grip on your thigh tightens; you never want him to let go. Stop giving me hope. He does anyway with a drawn out suck, his stare as hazy and heady as if he’s been drinking the most exquisite cheongju.

Your body is taut, sweat beading down your spine. “This is— I can’t—”

“You can,” he quips back, and whatever words you could have said are stolen by orgasm. Taken, and made unbecoming moans that blow past the last shreds of your resistance now resting between his teeth.

It overwhelms you, this newfound sensitivity from being consumed; it makes you want to shirk back but he doesn’t let you. Somehow one of your legs finds its way over his shoulder and he uses that momentum to keep you against his stunning mouth, giving you what you need but never what you want. Each lick nudges you further off the edge, finding an acute bliss past every limitation you thought you had and you think, feverishly you think — it’s like he’s giving you permission to fall apart.

Tears coalesce at the corner of your eyes but you don’t notice. You don’t even know they’re there until wetness trails down your cheeks and even then you’re distracted by another peak, this one a muted swell that makes your muscles tense around his thin frame; he supports your weight without a word of complaint as his strokes finally dwindle in time with your pulses until both drop off entirely.

As he lets your leg roll off his arm, his breaths come almost as unsteadily as yours. Slowly, he retracts his wide hands from your thighs. Rolling his tongue against the inside of his own cheek, you watch him paint your taste in his mouth and don’t know what to make of any of it.

It’s only when a few tears cling to your eyelashes and blur your vision that you realize what’s happening. How embarrassing. You told yourself you wouldn’t do this on the way here and look at you now. You’re about to reach up to wipe away the tears, the damning evidence of your weakness when the king wraps his hands tight around your wrists. Pushes you back. Presses his knees to the bed as he hovers above you, all silence and heat and him.

“Um, j-jeon—”

He leans down and cuts you off with a kiss.

You gasp into his mouth but he doesn’t pull away. He is just soft, persistent, firm, and soft as he moves naturally across territory that should have been unfamiliar, but instead it feels like he’s been mapping, planning this capture for as long as you have. An impossible dream, yes, but the warm breath ghosting across your skin, lingering, is real. You open for him. For your first kiss. Your first kiss with him.

The warm fingers at your wrist squeeze harder.

“You… You can cry.” His voice is a murmur, delicate and hesitant against your lips, as if imparting a secret. “If you want.”

So you do.

You finally let yourself cry while he kisses you again and again, adjusting his angle to push you further into the pillows, releasing a wrist to cup your wet cheek. He kisses you with his nose pressed to yours, a tiny, precious moan finding freedom from someone’s throat.

Yoongi, your mind recalls, clinging to the syllables that belong to a word you’ve never dared to say aloud as he kisses you, kisses you, kisses you until both your mouths are swollen and your chest feels a bit lighter, his a bit heavier in exchange.

And when he finally pulls away, he holds you. His arms accept all your gravity for just a few lingering minutes more, a few heartbeats more, until it’s time for you to go.

[avenging-fandoms]

Pumpkin Eater

*requested by anonymous *hey bebs 💕 could you write something where chris cheated on the reader and he sees her with sebastian and gets jealous 🥺 *in which y/n and chris were engaged to be married in 7 months, but she caught him cheating. leaving her homeless, her friend sebastian let her stay with him. *warning: angst, cheating, mentions of sex, drinking, fluff *PLEASE send me requests!!!!! i can do whoever :)

MASTERLIST

this is going to be a series!!

“oh my fucking god” you breathed and dropped your bags, the door hitting the wall catching the attention of chris and the girl on top of him. “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” they both scrambled and she got her clothes on fast, running out the door.

chris wrapped himself in the blanket, shaking his head and putting his hand up. "yn, i promise, this wasn't supposed to happen"

"oh bullshit, chris! did you think i wouldn't find out? my god, chris, we're fucking engaged!" you ran your fingers through your hair, chris still tightening the blanket around his waist. "4 years. 4 years down the drain, for what? for some fun?" your lip quivered and you shook your head.

"yn, please, i can explain" you scoff, running your tongue over your lips as you shift your weight to one leg with your arms across your chest as you looked at him.

"you can explain what? you cheated! there's no fucking excuse!" you exclaim, grabbing a bag from the closet and shoving random articles of clothes in it, as well as the ones you just bought.

"where are you going? no, please don't leave" chris begged and grabbed your wrist, and you chuckle as you ripped it out of his grip.

"if you don't want me to leave, you shouldn't have cheated and had some random girl riding your dick. i'm calling off the wedding" you threw the ring at his chest and slammed the bedroom door behind you. you shoved the bag into the back of your car, starting your car and gripping the steering wheel. you squeezed your eyes shut and leaned your forehead onto the wheel, your shoulders shaking as you sob.

your phone started to ring and you took a deep breath, sniffling and taking a few breaths before answering it. your elbow leaned against the door, eyes closed with your fingers against your forehead. "hey yn!" sebastian beamed over the phone and you smile softly, feeling a little better to hear how happy he sounded.

"you called at literally the best time. is it alright if i come over?"

"sure! door's unlocked, i've got drinks in the fridge, i'll see you soon then!" you said your goodbyes and hung up the phone, putting it away and blasting music as you drove off to sebastian's.

-

30 minutes later you pulled into sebastian's driveway and turned down the music before shutting off your car. you grabbed your bag and took a breath before sulking over to his door. you knocked softly and tapped your toes together as you waited for sebastian to open the door. you heard his footsteps and the door swung open, your puffy eyes meeting his sweet, bright smile.

"hey doll! oh no, why are you sad?" your lip quivered after the question and you let out a sob, sebastian catching you as you fell into him, he scrunches his eyebrows confused and wraps his arms around you.

"i-i caught him in bed-" sebastian shushed you softly and held your head, bringing you and your bag inside his house.

"you don't have to tell me anything until you're ready, okay? i'll be here to listen. for now, i'll just hold you until you have no more tears" he smiled and kissed your head, the both of you sitting on the couch. he put your legs over his lap, comforting you. you hiccuped once you stopped crying, playing with the hem of sebastian's shirt.

"he was in bed.. with that bitch i asked about a couple months ago" you sighed and sebastian scoffed, shaking his head.

"what did he say before? when you asked about her before" sebastian rubbed your arm and you laughed.

"an old hometown friend who moved to california. and i believed it, even though i met all his friends from home"

"what an asshole, you don't deserve that" sebastian whispered and kissed your forehead, making you smile.

"and.. with me being over here now, if it's not any incon-"

"yes, you are more than welcome to stay. my guest bedroom is finally finished" you smile and hug him tightly, sebastian rubbing your back. "love you yn"

"love you more, seb, thank you" you whisper and snuggle your cheek into his shoulder.

the next day sebastian helped you pack your things from the house you and chris shared. you guys put some boxes in storage and some boxes to sebastian's house. chris came back to the house as you closed the trunk of your car.

"yn? hey, please listen to me" chris begged and and you clicked your seatbelt in the passenger seat.

"she's not talking to you right now. you hurt her, very bad, chris" sebastian glared, backing up and getting into the driver's seat. chris yelled things about you getting with sebastian as payback but it was muffled. sebastian reached over and grabbed your thigh and you shook your head as you placed your hand on top of his.

"i told myself i wouldn't cry about it anymore.. but i can't help it" you sniffled and at a red light, sebastian wiped the tears from your cheeks.

"you're allowed to be sad, yn. it's your choice how long you want to be sad, no one else's, okay?" he whispered and you nodded, kissing his palm and you widened your eyes.

"sebastian, i didn't mean to do that" you rambled on and he chuckled, holding your wrists and kissing each knuckle and your palms. "oh" you sighed, dropping your shoulders and sebastian looked up at you through his eyelashes.

"see? don't be sorry, it's comforting" he smiled and you nodded slowly, licking your lips. "you want to go somewhere to eat?" you nodded and he sat the right way again. luckily there was no one behind you two because you sat through a green light. the light turned green again and he took off, heading to the place you wanted to eat before heading to his house.

sebastian pulled into his driveway and opened your door for you. you think him as he takes your hand into the house. "are there any.. house rules?"

"uhm.. food is free reign, bathroom upstairs, the guest room is right across from- what's wrong?" you rubbed your arm and shrugged, looking around the house then meeting sebastian's eyes.

"i didn't mean to make your life any more crazy" you apologize to him and stare at your toes.

"hey, look at me" sebastian said but you refused. he held your chin softly and tilted your face up to look at him. "you could never be a burden to me, i promise. i've always wanted a roommate who wasn't crazy"

"well.. i'm pretty crazy now" you smiled and he laughed, shaking his head.

"no, definitely not. chris is crazy for cheating on an amazing, smart, sexy girl like you" he grinned and your cheeks felt hot. "there's that shy smile"

"you think i'm sexy?" i whisper, stepping a little closer to sebastian.

"who wouldn't?" he whispered back, his mouth inches from yours. "goodnight yn"

"goodnight seb" he kissed your forehead and headed to his room. you sighed contently with a smile on your face, heading to the guest room. it was still scattered with some boxes, the closet half filled with clothes and the dresser topped with a mirror and a tv.

you got ready for bed and cuddled tight under the sheets, deleting the new texts you got from chris about the cheating, about sebastian, about everything. you went on social media, which is a bad idea after a break up. 'chris evans' was trending, and it was filled with thousand of tweets about the break up. your chest felt heavy and it felt like your throat was closing. "seb..seb.." you ripped the blankets off of you and you knocked on his door frantically.

"come in" you swung the door open and he dropped his clothes in his hamper. "what's wrong, doll?"

"they're a-all talking about it" you cried in choppy breaths, sebastian's eyebrows furrowing. you handed him your phone and he scrolled through the tweets, shaking his head and putting your phone next to his on the nightstand. "h..how did they find out?! i didn't post anything, remove any pictures, or say anything about you. how is it out?!"

"apparently he let it slip in an interview. plus i guess he confided in the wrong person and they told the press" sebastian rubbed your back and you let out a soft cry, falling into him. "you're going on a social media detox. i'm going to take your phone for a couple days and we're going to enjoy the world, okay?" you nod and sniffle, nodding and wiping your cheeks with his thumbs.

"i'm sorry for dumping all of this on you" you said softly and you looked up at him.

"never apologize for your feelings" he whisper and i nodded, leaning forward and kissing his chest.

"thank you seb" your tone was soft as you leaned back against his bed. sebastian was still processing the kiss to his chest you left, a soft smirk playing on his lips. it didn't take long for you to fall asleep, and sebastian didn't want to move you. he pulled the blankets over the two of you, kissing your forehead before shutting off the side lamp and falling asleep with an arm draped over you.

-

you woke up the next day with your arms wrapped around sebastian's arm. your eyes felt heavy and puffy, but you didn't want to move out of your very comfortable spot. you watched sebastian chest rise up and down slowly with every breath he took, his arm tucked under his head with his face turned away from yours.

you never really looked at sebastian, but you were glad you were getting the chance to right now. he shifted and you panicked, closing your eyes again to pretend you were sleeping. you heard him sigh and felt his bicep flex, and it was so hard to bite back your smile and grip it in your hands.

sebastian slowly pulled his arm away from your grip and pushed your hair out of your face before he got out of bed. sebastian headed into his bathroom and locked the door, your eyes shooting open. your arms pushed up the soft sheets as you stretched your limbs. you reached over for your phone, seeing a lot of missed calls, texts and notifications from almost every social media app you had.

sebastian's phone vibrated and you jumped when you heard the water turn on in the shower, sebastian badly singing as he showered. you sighed and peeked at his screen, seeing a lot of texts from chris.

"this is crazy" you sighed, placing a pillow over your face and wanting to scream. you had almost fallen asleep again before you heard the water shut off. you took the pillow off of your face and pretended to just be waking up as he came out of the bathroom.

"well, good morning roomie" sebastian smiled and you sat up, gasping softly with wide eyes as you noticed sebastian dripping in water with his towel loosely tied around his waist.

“good morning. i didn’t mean to take up your bed last night. all that crying just really took it out of me"

“no problem, i understand. my bed is big enough for the both of us. no bother” he smiled and took another towel to dry his hair. you brushed your hair out of your face and sighed.

"uhm, i'm gonna go shower. probably unpack too. you can come help if you want" you started to walk towards his door but you heard him whistle. you tighten your face and turn around slowly, sebastian's hand on his hip with the other out palm facing up.

"i seem to remember there were 2 phones on my nightstand, and now there's only one. give it here" you grunt and slightly stomp as you slapped the phone in his hand. "this is for your own sake, it's to better you and your mind!" sebastian smiled and you rolled your eyes, trying to pretend that you were mad at sebastian but you couldn't help the corners of your mouth curling up.

"yeah, yeah. whatever" you push his shoulder and he laughs. "i'll be in my room, then i'm gonna shower"

"okay. and hey," you turned around in his door frame, your hand on the wood as you looked over your shoulder to sebastian. "you and me"

you smile, nodding softly. "you and me, seb"

[bcdwhcre]

Could you write an scenario where Levi's S/O was tortured and now has many nightmares about it? Like... they are sleeping together and she wakes up screaming or he hears her crying asleep and cuddles her or idk... I just think is this kind of angsty fluff that I adore! Also I love your writting ♡

“PTSD,” Levi x Reader

Running out of gifs, using the same ones. Bear with me

Summary: having ptsd and Levi trying his best to comfort you.

Warnings: ptsd, torture, nightmares, abuse

Levi x Fem!Reader

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Pain was all you felt. An intense amount of pain as you were bound down to the chair and left alone with your own tears and blood. You didn’t know why, you couldn’t come up with the reason why you were down here.

Maybe it was because of your fathers crimes. Everyone hated him and before he could pay for what he did, he vanished and left that burden onto you. The people who were practically hit men used you as bait, maybe you getting beaten and tortured would have your father running to your side but little did they know that your father hated you too.

All you could hear is the laughter from the men and your screams echoing off the walls, skin being pulled off and fingernails being broken along with a few other broken bones. You were beaten senseless on a daily basis, you were sure you were going to die in that basement until somehow— you barely escaped with your life.

Your broken bones ached, your skin on fire and your body so weak but your bare feet kept running until you had ran into a MP, soon after that, everything was history. You joined the Scouts, only because you felt your whole personality change into some machine and it convinced you to join and be able to protect yourself.

Levi had seeked interest in you right away, the scars that stayed on your skin noticeable and the pain you wore- he could tell you needed some comfort and he could tell you’ve been through hell and he related to you in someway and eventually it turned into a relationship that neither of you were expecting.

It had taken weeks for him to convince you to sleep in his bed but you didn’t want to be a burden, you didn’t want to wake him from your endless amount of nightmares that replayed in your head every night but a part of you thought maybe his company can make the nightmares go away.

So there you were, laid out on his bed, wearing his shirt and a pair of sweats while his arms were lazily wrapped around your body, spooning you and burying his face in the back of your neck while breathing in your scent.

Levi was completely over the moon with you, you were someone kind and amazing inside and out but he didn’t know the true story of your scars and he didn’t pressure you. All he would do is gently trace his fingertips over the scars that stained your skin, reminding you of your worth and beauty.

You sighed as he slept behind you and you hesitated, you didn’t want to fall asleep, you didn’t want to scare him away- it already took you months for you to be comfortable with him. It took you months for you to allow him to be affectionate and touch you, you couldn’t even let him hug you or touch your hand because it made you flinch and it made you believe he was going to hit you.

But he always remained patient, he stayed with you and gave you all the love you deserved to make you feel worthy of love and affection. He stayed by you until you were comfortable enough to let him in and the day you randomly pulled him in for a hug, you startled him. He stood there, wide eyes and hesitated before his arms were securely around your body- making you feel safe.

An hour went by of you staring at his bedroom wall, hearing his soft snores and feeling his breath tickle the back of your neck before you had finally gave in and fell asleep, hoping you’ll have a happy dream for once- maybe of Levi.

But that’s not what happened.

Your dreams were always the same, the echoing of laughter and screaming as chains were yanked and a whip was slapped onto your skin. The slashes on your back open and bleeding uncontrollably. The cuts on your dirty skin had looked infected and were painful, the broken fingernails on your fingertips throbbed and made you cry for hours but your broken ribs had prevented you from crying for too long.

The constant fear you felt, the look on the older mans face as he enjoyed torturing you and making sure you were in severe pain. You’ve even pleaded with them a few times for them to end your life and kill you. One man stared at you, laughing while pressing a knife to your neck and split some of your skin open as your blood leaked onto the blade.

“Hm, not yet sweetheart, I’m not done with you.” He licked his lips as he stared down at you and it just made you feel disgusting.

One day they even tried to touch you inappropriately, cutting your shirt off but another man had stepped in and said it was going too far yet you laid there bleeding out slowly, what is too far for them?

Your body shook in your sleep, soft mumbles escaping your lips until it had woken Levi up from how much you were shaking against him. His tired eyes had moved down to look at you and stroked your hair back from your face.

“Y/N?” He mumbled, firmly grabbing onto your arm and tried to rub it to somewhat wake you up but it wasn’t working.

You were deep in your slumber, deep in your nightmare that all the pain felt completely real as it ran through your body and a startled scream had left your parted lips, frightening Levi and suddenly you shot up in bed.

Your breathing was heavy, tears had soaked your cheeks and you had forgotten about being in his room until his soft hand had reached out and rested on your back, making you flinch and startle him again.

“Hey, it’s just me.” He said quietly, his sad eyes looking into yours and that’s when you started to unravel and break down before him.

Uncontrollable sobs had left your lips, burying your face into your hands and just cried as he rubbed your back and try to be of some comfort. He wasnt all that great at it but he loved you too much to have you sitting here feeling like this.

You couldn’t handle your emotions, you were embarrassed and humiliated that he’s seen you like this, you never wanted to open that part of your past up but it was still bothering you, it was still torturing you and you just can’t seem to shake the past off.

He hesitated, watching you but his heart had broke into pieces seeing how fragile you really are beneath the tough act you pull everyday at work. He sighed, reaching over to wrap his arms around your small frame and pull you into his chest.

You continued to cry, tears sliding down and hitting his chest which made his shirt a bit wet but he didn’t mind- he was giving you time and giving you a moment to let your emotions out.

“I’m here, no one is going to lay a finger on you again, alright?” He assured you, his fingers brushing through your messy hair and you started to calm down, the feeling of his arms securely around you made you feel safe.

You sucked in a deep breath, small hiccups leaving your lips as your sad tear filled eyes stared into his and everything just felt calm again. His presence and his company just made everything a little better, made you feel like you were truly okay.

“I’m sorry.. this is why I was afraid of sleeping in your room.” You admitted, your voice shaky and he shook his head.

“Don’t be ashamed, I still have nightmares from when I was a kid too. It happens.” He mumbled, tucking your hair back behind your ear and you leaned into his soft touches.

You had sat up on the bed, a random feeling of wanting him to know everything, wanting to show him everything. Sure he’s seen the scars on your arms, legs and the small ones on your face but he’s never seen the worse of it underneath your shirt. You looked like some sick voodoo doll- full of stitches and scars.

Your small hands had gripped the edge of your shirt, his eyes watching you and once you were brave enough to lift it up over your head, leaving you in just your bra- he couldn’t hold back the sound he made as his breath hitched in his throat. He’s thought he’s seen it all, he thought he’s seen bad things but this pretty much took the win.

His eyes began to water, he was never the type to show pure emotions but when it came to you and how important you were to him, he couldn’t help the pain he felt in his empty heart. It’s like he can feel all the pain you endured all those years ago in that empty cold basement.

He took his time, leaning over and brushing his fingertips over the patches of skin and the scars that were on your back as tears streamed down his face and he shook his head, feeling angry.

“I don’t even know what to say.. I’m speechless..” He finally spoke up, lost for words as he stared at your skin and you sighed.

“You don’t have to say anything. My past is always going to haunt me and you might as well know, I don’t want to hide anything from you.” You admitted, turning your head to look at him and he embraced you in another tight hug.

“You’re strong and you’re still beautiful.” He repeated, rubbing soft circles on your back and you buried your face into his shoulder, tears threatening to fall from your eyes again.

“You’re safe now.”

You couldn’t help the overwhelming pain you felt inside of your heart, it fluttered by his words but the reminder of your scars and being vulnerable enough to show him outweighed everything. You were terrified. Sure the guys who did this to you are locked away for good but you just felt scared all of the time. What if it happened again? It was constantly on your mind.

But Levi holding you in his arms as tight as he could without hurting you and the way his fingers danced on your skin to trace over your scars and remind you of his love for you, it made you feel safe. It made you fall even harder for him as you felt his lips press gentle kisses on your shoulder blade and even tilted his head to kiss your cheek.

You pulled back to look up at him in the dark, the moon shining the room bright enough to see his features and see the small smile on his face as he admired you and cupped your cheeks. It was hard for him to be this open and show this much emotion but you were worth everything to him, he risked being vulnerable and lovable for you.

“I know telling you about my past and being locked away tortured for weeks is horrible and probably made you think differently of me but..” You started to say but he was quick to cut you off.

“But nothing, why would I think differently of you? This just proves how strong I know you are. I’ll never think differently.” He mumbled, tracing his thumbs over your soft skin and your heart pounded inside of your chest.

You’ve never had someone like Levi, not one bit and having someone in front of you giving you everything you deserved and more was new but thrilling and it made you feel warm after being locked in a cold basement for what felt like years.

You were convinced after escaping that your life would never go back to normal or be normal, you never expected to find someone as loving and caring as him either but here he was, cradling you in the middle of the night making sure you felt okay and secure.

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Sorry for the lonnnnng wait. I actually enjoyed this one🥺

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