#there was a sort of Twist (lol) that I liked so I wouldn't say it's terrible

[beybuniki]

This is gonna be a rambly ask, so I hope it makes sense (and I also hope it's not too weird or offputting >///<)

I'm a relatively newer follower, so I don't know exactly what your interpretation of Bakugo and Midoriya's relationship is, but I've been getting the impression of "two guys who are obsessed with each other who are also trying to be friends despite their complicated past."* And I've literally experienced that type of dynamic myself, so I find it kinda validating, in a way.

I find it difficult to identify whether these feelings of mine are platonic or romantic. They feel like some sort of messy in-between, or maybe a hybrid: more intense than regular friendship (perhaps even more intense than what one would consider a "best friend"), but not quite romantic. (But also not something I'd call "less than" romantic, as that implies some sort of Relationship Hierarchy where romance is at the top and everything else is beneath it, which doesn't sit right with me?)

Ship content seems to be the easiest way to find fanworks that feature two characters together and the dynamic between them, so that's what I usually end up seeking, even if the romance isn't necessarily why I'm seeking it out. And I wouldn't say I dislike ship content altogether, because there are many talented creators and fun ideas behind it, and I've certainly been entertained by them. I guess I just find it more difficult to relate to, and the commonness of it can sometimes make me feel like it's what I should be striving for with my own aforementioned relationship.

This is why I love finding people like you who write or draw about non-romantic dynamics without undermining the importance of the relationship. It helps me feel less like an outcast for the way I view my own real-life relationships. So I suppose this is just a very long-winded way of me trying to say, "thanks for helping someone feel a little less weird in this big world."

(*If that's not how you intended to portray them then oopsieeeees my bad. I might have just been projecting LOL)

<3

yeah i read their dynamic as platonic i.e., i just take what we get in the manga at face value. much to be criticized about bnha, but i LOVE horikoshi's depiction of bkdk's dynamic and don't really feel the need to twist and bend it or to expand it to a romantic one. they're 16-17 and have a lot to work through and i have so much fun trying explore that like how do you get close to someone again despite all the crazy ups and downs, how do you find a good balance between these different poles of intensity, how do you forgive a friend, how can you show a friend that they mean a lot to you etc. all things that horikoshi actually tackles in the manga, i just like to add my own off-screen moments i guess lmao

so while i don't oppose romantic readings, i just enjoy exploring the uhhh instability and intensity of adolescent friendships much more i guess. and their age plays a huge role to me too tbh, like i can def see deku having a weird little crush on bakugo (so much to unpack), but i just don't see bakugo be interested in romance with anyone at all and like to keep it that way so yeah, I love them as weird friends lmaoo

[erinwantstowrite]

I was wondering about flash in your au. Is he the dummy bully that we see in the Holland movies? Or the big sports guy we see on the Andrew movies?

Because as much as I like pathetic rich guy Flash, Andrew's flash has a sweet spot on my heart. The guy didn't seem that bad and in the end of the movies, after the death of uncle Ben, it seemed like they could be good friends!

i LOVEEE Andrew's Flash so much and I might have him in another au because he deserves some love, but LoF Flash is a... mix of traits if that makes sense? He's sort of modelled after Holland's Flash and Andrew's and my own twist. Instead of being a "bully" he's more of an academic rival for Peter.

They don't get along because Flash does say things to annoy him/get under his skin, is very snarky, has made comments about Peter's life, etc. And Peter does say shit back. He's not a perfect person, so sometimes Flash will say smth particularly mean and Peter will bite back with his own. But at the end of the day, they have a mutual understanding of each other?

Like, if anyone else were to say shit about the other (i.e. a third party remarking that Peter is stupid/doesn't deserve what he's gotten, or saying Flash doesn't work hard), the other will suddenly get defensive. Think platonic enemies, I guess.? They aren't friends and wouldn't hang out socially at all, they are often rude to each other and fight constantly, but they DO enjoy the academic rivalry and the competition. They have a respect for the other that goes unsaid, and when one person "wins" an interaction/competition/gets a better score on a test, whatever, they recognize it.

It's been a rivalry that they both picked up since the DAY they met each other, and to an outside observer they are freaks. Ned barely understands what's going on there but he's used to it.

I mostly just wanted to change up Flash's character to make it fun to write for me lol

[kafus]

a likodot themed analysis of HZ049

hello it's been a while since my last truly longform post like this but guess who watched HZ049 today and is going absolutely fucking feral bonkers about it. it's me. and i have things to say about it of the likodot variety because if i don't get these thoughts out of my head i'll explode.

forgive me for my shipping bias because i'm not sorry. however i am slightly sorry for how messy this post ended up being my god i had a lot of thoughts but i did my best to make this at least somewhat entertaining to read and comprehensive. but it really is a long winding mess LOL. FULL OF PASSION AND ADORATION I LOVE THIS SHOW AND I LOVE LIKO AND DOT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD

obviously there are heavy spoilers below the cut i'm going to be violently pulling apart all the scenes where these two interact and gnawing at all of it

so. first off. this episode displays massive growth in liko and dot's relationship by method of showing how much liko's behavior around gurumin has changed since these two met and since dot initially confessed to being gurumin. as we all know liko was a massive superfan of gurumin, and then when dot confessed to being gurumin... well liko's reaction was. Uh

well she was having a little bit of a crisis about it LOL. historically liko has gotten very flustered and panicked when reminded that dot is gurumin. and she has been really prone to fangirling still (ie. getting really excited about helping gurumin in HZ019 with the bakery stuff or helping gurumin with the pig town stuff in HZ036), despite knowing the person in the suit. she goes as far as to try to ignore that dot is in the suit entirely and keep them separate in her brain (shown for instance by her freaking out over seeing dot halfway in the gurumin suit in HZ039) because if she were to mentally cross those wires, she wouldn't be able to handle it.

but now in this episode, things have obviously changed a lot over time. the episode opens with a small scene that explains what dot is doing about gurumin while they are traveling on the terastal course (filming them beforehand and scheduling ahead of time lol) but liko and dot have a conversation about (a really CUTE conversation) about gurumin in the process.

do not get it twisted, liko is still very much a fan of gurumin, but this conversation is a lot more comfortable and grounded. she gets a notification about a new gurumin video and she's excited (and surprised because of the timing), but she is not panicking about it. and her first reaction to this information is to directly ask dot (with the softest expression fucking ever??) about it. this directly connects dot and gurumin together in a strong way. liko is no longer running from the fact that dot is the youtuber she looks up to, and in fact she's being pretty upfront about it.

not related to my main point, but i also just want to gush a little here about this scene more - dot reacts similarly to liko showing so much affection for her work in a similar way to how she reacted in HZ008 to liko complimenting her through the door - getting flustered about liko's genuine energy, but this time they know each other and are looking at each other face to face. liko's affectionate energy is enough to make her relent that maybe someday... she could film outside... which shows the sort of effect liko has on her. and also this becomes relevant later in the episode where dot literally does film gurumin videos outside - it's just good writing/foreshadowing lol

anyway, this continues later on when liko is the first to get worried about dot doing the battle livestream with nanjamo as gurumin instead of herself. i think if this situation had happened much earlier on, liko would have been thinking a lot more about the excitement of the idea of seeing gurumin battle in real life, but she doesn't even initially have that thought and have to backtrack, she's immediately worried about dot instead.

ironically, liko recognizing that gurumin isn't dot, as in gurumin is a mask that dot puts on instead of being representational of her true self, drives home liko's recognition of dot as gurumin even more. she understands the connection between dot and gurumin and what gurumin is to dot enough to have this concern in the first place - one roy initially doesn't understand, that is specific to liko. there is zero compartmentalization of dot being a youtuber here! liko is concerned about her friend who is an influencer, where she puts on a mask to be confident and outgoing. dot and gurumin are fully connected.

it's also worth acknowledging that liko holds the gurumin suit and is concerned about it being damaged but nothing more - unlike in HZ021 when she goes to dot's room to give her the suit after it's been washed and cleaned, and she's a little nervous and flustered about it still.

i've always talked about how there's a bit of a difference between shipping liko and dot, and liko and gurumin - not that those two sectors have zero overlap, but that to liko, gurumin and dot were usually kept so separate mentally that fans online could often be sorted into camps of being interested in the running silliness of liko's fascination and flustered behavior with the whole gurumin thing, and liko and dot's connection with each other as normal (girl)friends... liko has progressively adjusted more to dot being gurumin and has had moments where she is able to set aside her fangirl heart to be there for dot (like when she mentions dot being gurumin in her little supportive speech in HZ027), but this episode shows that in a much more drastic and meaningful way, and now those two sectors are FULLY overlapping canonically. i think it is overall a sweet and good thing for them that liko is able to see dot as a whole and directly appreciate her creative skills/work. it is obviously meaningful to dot!

TLDR;

HZ039:

HZ049:

you get the point.

NOW. onto the SECOND thing i want to talk about. the thing i've dubbed LIKODOT TELEPATHY. aka holy shit these girls understand each other without words. liko and dot understand each other on an intrinsic level and often notice when the other is worried, or pushing themselves too hard, or etc. that is EXTREMELY evident in this episode through liko's concern towards dot.

going back to the first scene before the opening theme, liko detects immediately when dot comments on roy's upbeat attitude that dot might be feeling nervous about her upcoming battle, and immediately offers reassurance.

(unfortunately i have to put aside my ramble about liko's continued lack of self esteem and her putting herself down here for another time because otherwise this post will get so off-topic and longer than it has any right to be, but you get the point. also holy shit dot saying "you don't have to fuss so much" but smiling and saying that line like she's happy to have liko fretting about her makes me CRAZY. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. BUT. coughs. ANYWAY)

then, like i mentioned earlier, liko is the first to be worried about dot in this episode. she's the first to notice dot's anxious/shutting down behavior:

the first to recognize that dot might actually walk away unhappy if she were to do her terastal exam as gurumin instead of herself:

and the first to recognize that her filming videos outside is not as genuinely upbeat and happy as it may seem:

(two quick side notes about this, i really like how the writing puts emphasis on liko's concern by contrasting roy's total lack of it multiple times - NOT that he doesn't care of course, but just that liko understands dot particularly well and is in touch with dot's feelings in a special way that roy isn't. additionally, it makes me feel crazy that dot probably got the idea to film outside from liko's affectionate encouragement in the first scene in the episode... like, she's basically trying to use liko's advice to hype herself up and get through this... of course she would!! trusting liko's words has always ended up positively for her!! liko is such a massive support for her!! and liko acknowledges herself that yeah she said that but that isn't what she meant. GOD. i'm so insane about these girls)

this is notable not only because it's very sweet that liko is so concerned about dot, but also because dot doesn't really understand this herself. she is trying so hard to put on the gurumin facade, to run away from her anxiety as far as possible, to avoid the bad. and yet despite her attempts to cover her true feelings up as much as possible, even from herself, liko sees straight through it. dot cannot mask around liko, she understands regardless, sees the parts of her she doesn't want to acknowledge.

the contrast between dot's understanding of herself and liko's understanding of her is immense. directly after dot boldly proclaims that she feels so much stronger as gurumin and happily mentions that she has nanjamo's permission to do their battle as gurumin is when liko finally confronts her. the difference in mood is startling, almost, and easily shows that contrast. i need to break down this confrontation in detail cause it makes me insane

first, liko is still too nervous to say what she wants to say, but as per usual with LIKODOT TELEPATHY (tm) dot immediately notices liko going into her polite i-don't-want-to-inconvenience-you voice and pushes for what the matter is. she can tell immediately that liko has a problem even though liko hasn't said anything yet.

liko doesn't want to rock the boat and is overly gentle with her words (once again i have to push aside my ramble about liko's confidence problems AGH) but finally speaks her piece about the situation.

i want to mention here as well, these two situations are very different, but the similarities of dot noticing liko pushing herself back in HZ027 and then liko recognizing dot pushing herself in kind... SIIIGH

dot's reaction is to stammer with MUCH less confidence than before that she wasn't forcing anything. she's taken offguard by liko's concerns, but it's evident she recognizes what liko is saying within herself and is grappling with trying to maintain her mental wall after liko has cracked it in half with her words. liko was right and saw right through her, and dot isn't sure how to handle it. she avoids eye contact and everything.

this is where i bridge my conversation about likodot telepathy into talking about dot's characterization and growth as a character, so bear with me - quaxly attempts to drive the point liko is making home by separating dot from the gurumin suit, but afterwards is... The Scene. liko tries to bring the conversation back to what they were saying before, but at this point dot is overwhelmed by quaxly's actions and feels socially/emotionally cornered and... she explodes and screams at liko.

i think it's an interesting part of her personality that she is prone to irritable/angry outbursts and yelling when she has her buttons pushed too far and i'm glad that remains consistent for her, especially because...

the last time dot yelled directly at liko like this was in HZ008. the situation is actually quite similar with dot being pushed too far into a situation she doesn't know how to handle by liko reaching out to her more than she is ready for, causing her to lash out. but some MAJOR things have changed since then - obviously, the first time was through the door before they really knew each other, before liko had even seen her face, but this time it's up close and personal and they know each other. but secondly, at the beginning of the show, dot is irritated and overwhelmed by pretty much any attempt at conversation. she has come such a long way that now she's brought to screaming by something much, much more massive, with the whole being streamed live while battling in real life thing, showing how much she has overcome since then... and not only that!! thirdly! the first time, liko was encouraging gurumin, sharing how much of a fan of gurumin she was, and now this second time, it's in reaction to liko essentially telling her "i don't think you actually want to be gurumin in this situation". point is, the amount of growth dot has had is ironically so easy to see in her screaming at liko here because of the sheer level of contrast between the two times it's happened.

by this happening again, it also gives dot the chance to recognize her own shitty behavior and apologize for yelling later even though liko (nor roy) were asking for an apology - in fact they seemed to be surprised that dot wanted to apologize in the first place, like they had forgotten all about it. i think both liko and roy are used to shrugging off some of dot's more irritable behaviors, but this time dot noticed herself that she messed up and takes that moment to say sorry, which is sweet of her and once again a moment of character growth.

considering that dot also follows this up with the statement that she will take her terastal exam as herself, the apology is also connected to it - like she recognized that what liko was saying, the thing that made her yell, ended up being true. it was liko's genuine attempt to help her. and now that she's come to that conclusion on her own, she can see that yelling was even more misguided.

and that's my final conversation topic about this episode - the fact that dot came to that conclusion on her own. yes, liko cracked the wall she was putting up and gave her that starting push, but dot went above and beyond to take that crack and then smash that wall into pieces without liko's help. which despite what it sounds like i think is extremely important for these two's dynamic moving forward.

i'm going to spare you the analysis of dot's fear of cameras, why she hides behind gurumin, as well as a breakdown of the whole part of the episode with varoom bc i'm trying to talk mostly about likodot here, but assuming you've watched the episode you know what i'm talking about. here, i'm focused on the part where liko exclaims that they have to help dot, and dot denies her help and says she wants to handle it on her own, and then from this experience she is able to conclude she wants to do her terastal exam as herself.

this is massive. for so long, liko has practically dragged dot along and held her hand through tackling new experiences... sometimes literally lol, thinking about the scene in HZ027 where liko drags dot to chase after terapagos by the arm. but anyway, on top of that, this is also different from her standing up to her mom in HZ041, which was ALSO massive, but a large part of that episode consisted of liko's interventions, and she was pushed into that situation where she really had no choice in the matter. she had to if she wanted to stay on the brave asagi which was non negotiable. but here? there was nothing stopping dot from just taking the help and running from the cameras. in fact it probably would have been much easier to do that. but she wants to prove herself, and not because she has to to get the thing she wants, but just because... she wants to. she wants to succeed on her own.

and i think that's really important in the context of not just dot herself, but likodot, because while it is very sweet of liko to constantly be pushing dot and leading her to further self understanding and more confidence, and i will always be emotional about liko essentially caring for her to the point of dot braving ending her time as a NEET, the end goal for that should always be that dot is given confidence in herself to exist as a person independently of liko's pushing, for her own sake.

i think it's also incredibly meaningful that liko saw this happen - she experienced running out to help dot like usual, and then actually having her advances denied, but not for bad reasons this time... she gets to see dot be a better version of herself and come to that conclusion liko tried to push earlier, on her own accord, in her own way.

i say all this because i want liko to be able to love dot not as a person to fix but also just... a person. i want what liko has done for her to cause dot to be a better person outside of what liko does, for herself. and i want liko to be able to love the wonderful and more confident person dot becomes as a result. do you understand. am i making sense. GAH. i am so worked up about this. i'm holding them both in my hands and shaking them violentlySJDFJFSD

god. thank you for reading if you've actually come this far. i am going to end off this messy and deranged casual "essay" with a couple of notes i wasn't sure how to fit anywhere else.

one, i think it's very nice that when roy thinks dot's in trouble, liko is sure enough in dot's intelligence and battling skills to say with great confidence that dot MUST have a plan

and TWO, AHHHH I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE AHHHH AHHHHHH WE ARE GOING TO GET EVEN MORE DOT CHARACTERIZATION AND GROWTH AND SHE'S GOING TO FACE HER MENTOR FIGURE HOW AM I GOING TO HANDLE IT AFTER ALREADY WRITING THIS MUCH ABOUT THE FIRST EPISODE IN THIS TWO-PARTER AND ALSO WHAT WAS THIS GAY SHIT IN THE EPISODE PREVIEW AHHHH AHHH

thank you for coming to my ted talk. goodnight tri state area

[watanabes-cum-dump]

I will forever think about this now because yeah this applies to an astounding amount of characters in ffxiv whom you could see their friendship with WoL as more of a convenience and how they use WoL as a tool. I think Aymeric is obviously guilty of it (bc of the above image) but I also think to some extent the Crystal Exarch is guilty of this (yeah ik it's not for HIS benefit but he still did kinda use WoL and he would not have taken it well if WoL stopped being a hero)

So many characters that are "friends" with WoL kind of only see them for what they can do. I think to some extent even the Scions are like that. Actually come to think of it, the Scions are the most egregious case of this because WoL is their champion. After we killed Ifrit that solidified WoL as something to be used and thrown at any danger that came at the world.

A lot of characters The Exarch included only know WoL as the hero. For what they can do for everyone else and it makes me insaaaannnneee. Likes yes OBVIOUSLY Exarch/G'raha admires the WoL as a hero and sure he got to know us for a time- but he just thinks that we are the hero from the books. WoL is inspiring; they give people hope and they give people the strength to push on but that's all he knows them for. Listen, I'm still on post Shadowbringers, but so far Exarch has done nothing but sing our praises as hero and yeah I'm sure he has good intentions but it's still a little dehumanizing that to him that's all WoL is. Everyone is free to make their WoL's relationships with the other characters whatever the hell they want ofc, but I kinda read a lot of the characters this way just because it's so easy to water down one person for only cherry picked parts of their whole personality. Celebrities are the best example of this but we also to this to the people around us every single day.

I think Aymeric and WoL's relationship has also sort of been put into question with this moment (for me at least) because now I'm thinking "Oh my god, Aymeric did extend his friendship to WoL for either his own gain or for that of Ishgard's" and it's not a rag on him I love Aymeric but he is a politician. I don't doubt he admires WoL for all they've done for Ishgard, but I also don't think that if Aymeric hadn't pushed us we wouldn't have ended the Dragonsong war. I wouldn't say he manipulated us, but he didn't exactly have any qualms about making us battle on the Steps of Faith for Ishgard- yk, the closed off nation that's pretty hostile to outsiders- despite not knowing us for super long at that point. He thought that we could get it done and was like "Sure. You can fight for my country" and yeah I think Alphinaud's handling of the whole thing was also to blame- but Aymeric being okay with letting an outsider deal with things that should be handled by the Temple Knights is kinda sus to me now lmao. Like you are in charge of Ishgard's military shouldn't YOU have dealt with this???? Okay lol.

Listen, obviously I still love Aymeric and Exarch/G'raha but I think the potential that they only see WoL for their deeds is great and would make for an interesting hurdle to get over in a relationship. Actually, you can literally just slap this onto almost any character you want to ship with your WoL and it will be an interesting point of tension. The possibility that they only love WoL for being the hero and not in spite of it.

Anyways I need to thibk about this more bc I just finished the little Elidibus plot of Shadowbringers which is sort of about how heroes are remembered and how history can easily twisted and/or forgotten so uh yeah. I have lots of thoughts and I am very normal.

[sxeraphfic]

Donnie Darko x goth!reader 🙏🙏🙏

GOTH!READER X DONNIE DARKO    

WARNINGS; basically none! Slight swearing and bullying but that's it. 

WORDCOUNT: 1.5k

A/N: Gender neutral prns used in this for readers! I'm assuming by goth you mean trad goth (which fits the time era honestly) or maybe romantic goth (my style hehe lol) so I'll keep that as a reference.  Theres also a pov switch half way through. Hope it isn't too jarring!

˚ ‧ ₊ ♱ ༺ 𓆩 ❦︎ 𓆪 ༻ ♱ ₊ ‧ ˚

Donnie had never had a particular taste in people, really, he’d be surprised and feel lucky enough to have someone even glance over at him in a slightly romantic regard. Sure he had his ex-girlfriend Gretchen show interest in him but that didn't really assure him of how attractive he was, he could barely comprehend how others perceive him other than the obvious being that he's a little out of it. He liked all sorts of different styles of people, who was he to judge? It's not like he was particularly fashionable outside of the average late 80s young mens fashion.  

This statement wouldn't last long though, as he placed his backpack on the back of his chair and sat down he saw an unfamiliar person sitting at the front of his class alone from the others. The teacher smacked the chalkboard with her ruler to gain the class's attention, “Attention class! Good morning everyone”  she announced. “Today we have a student transferring from the other class to join ours” students began to whisper to each other, “Dear, why don't you come up here and introduce yourself?” she clearly had good intentions with asking this. But this is like.. The number one way to make a kid embarrassed, Donnie pondered to himself. 

The transfer stood up in front of the board “um.. hey.. my name y/n l/n,  i've moved from the class next door” -- “no wonder you had to move '' one of the kids called out jokingly, y/n sighed in an annoyed tone. Donnie stared at you, you were well.. Clearly alternative, goth? You were dressed in the normal school uniform but your hair, makeup, piercings made it obvious you weren't like the basic kid. He felt his insides twist a little, you were beautiful. You looked so mysterious and otherworldly compared to the other students and he was enamoured by your appearance. 

Apparently some of the less emotionally intelligent people in our class didn't see that though, not even ten minutes after finishing your introduction and sitting back down you had some kids throw paper balls at you from across the classroom. And as the average lame ass teacher does she ignored your clear bullying situation. Donnie wanted to say something, but bit his tongue. Glancing at you pitfully only to be met with a glare in return, ‘oh god, did i make them feel even worse?’ He worried to himself. ‘Of course I did. God, I'm bad at being chill.‘

A few hours after school, as the dark began to dawn upon the sky donnie found himself lying on his bed daydreaming of you, what type of music could you be into? Surely Dark wave or post punk right? Did you dress even more extreme outside of school? Were you secretly kind and sweet underneath your intimidating appearance? Were your lips as soft as they seemed? Donnie snapped out of it, what was he thinking… he felt kind of creepy daydreaming about someone he's never even spoken to before. Ever since he had gotten home he'd been more zombie-like than usual, his parents even asked him at the dinner table if he had been taking his meds and he scoffed, for once that wasn't the issue. The issue was he had fallen in love at first sight. 

Morning came around, Donnie walked with his doofhead friends aside his sister and her little group. “Donnieee” Samantha groaned “we’re all gonna be late for the bus we took too long!” Donnie and his friends shrugged and Samantha retorted “well my friends and i aren't gonna miss the bus. Have fun slow pokes” she said as she signalled her friends to start running up to the bus stop.  

Samantha for once in her miniature life span was right, Donnie and his friends did in fact take too long. Now they had to walk all the way to school and be late. This wasn't all bad though, as the one and only y/n pushed between them to get through clearly having also missed the bus as well. He could hear your music practically blasting through your walkman, funny. Wasn't that a metalhead thing to do? Donnies friends began to snicker to themselves “what a loser” they whispered in reference to you. Donnie gave them an annoyed glare, before speeding up to walk next to you and speak. 

 “Uh.. hey uh-” he began, you looked at him in confusion, taking your headphones off. 

“What?” you said bluntly, internally you were nervous, you'd already gotten the shit bullied out of you yesterday. You don't need another total dweeb ruining your day before you even manage to get in the school gates.  “I'm uh.. Donnie Darko, I figured I'd say hi since we’re in the same class now right?” he smiled awkwardly and attempted to shake your hand. You gave him a wonky smile back, “oh uh.. hey nice to meet you Donnie.” The handshake failed miserably, you tried to shake his hand but took too long to process the action.  

 What the fuck am i doing? Donnie thought to himself, he was incredibly nervous. The two of you had been walking in essentially complete silence for 5 minutes now, Donnie felt like an idiot for assuming someone as cool as you would be interested in talking to him, he gave you a slight glance and you returned it back

Sighing, you figured that indulging in a little conversation wouldn't kill you. Besides, if he came up to you in the first place and has stuck around walking with you for this long without saying anything outlandish surely he wasn't all bad.

“Sooo.. Darko huh? Kind of a cool last name isn't it?” you initiated. “You think it's cool? I swear people just make fun of me or think it's weird” he looked at you with giddiness in his eyes and smiled, ‘oh. He's cute.’ you thought to yourself.  “So is there a particular reason you've decided to be nice to me Donnie?” he shrugged nervously “Oh well- i mean i don't know, i'm not exactly popular myself so i guess i understand how it feels to be judged” you thinly smiled in response before you began to hear high pitched exaggerating moaning noises from behind you, Donnie’s friends were acting up. “Ugh fuck im sorry about them.” Donnie groaned, “it's chill, i've dealt with worse” you shrugged, before continuing “ever jigged school before Donnie?” he raised his brow at you “sure have y/n.” you giggled “let's ditch these losers i know a spot.” 

You lead him down an old path through the forest before sitting at what looked like some sort of strange concrete circle on the ground. “Jesus y/n how’d you even manage to find this place?” he voiced in shock “Someone who looks like me has their ways,” you smirked. “Y'know y/n i may end up regretting this, i actually have some major sleepwalking issues. I'd hate to wake up down here at 6am” he chuckled softly before sitting on the ground with you. “Sleepwalking? At this age too? Why's that?” Donnie smiled looking down to the ground “oh well uh.. We all got our own problems right?” “amen to that donnie.” you started to soften up, he seemed genuine. 

“Hey, sorry about glaring at you the other day. And being kind of rude when you tried to speak to me earlier” his eyes stared into yours “it's fine y/n, and understandable.. You have all sorts of people targeting you at the moment id be no different at first sight” he continued “i mean, with the way you look and all. You don't seem to care to live up to others expectations of what you should be, you're more free than m-majority of the people in our school will e-ever be. I'm uh envious really.” he started off saying this quite assertively, but his words tangled in soft stutters at the end as the intensity of your gaze made him recoil into himself. “Wow Donnie, I didn't expect that many words to come out of your mouth.. Let alone be so true..” “It feels good to have someone who gets it for once.” you warmly smiled. 

“Do you listen to music, Donnie?” you inquired “you mean do i listen to your type of music?” he snickered, you rolled your eyes in response “duh.” He thought about it for a second “well yeah i guess technically, nothing super niche but i like new wave.” you nodded your head “we should uh.. Y'know hangout sometime and listen together, i could introduce you to some stuff " Donnie perked up "in a going together type of way?” you gave him a confused look. “Ah sorry i meant to say going out ugh” he looked flustered and you giggled, before standing up and proceeding to pull him with you. You embraced him, gazing into his eyes beginning to lean in closer to his face. 

Hehe cliff hanger. Maybe you guys kissed, maybe you pushed him away and called him a weirdo! Who knows, hope you enjoyed my lovelies 

partially proof read. will check for mistakes.

[rius-cave]

Okay now hear me out.

What if Vivzie is pulling an Alex Hirsch on us about Adam not coming back as a sinner?

I know a lot of people see her bringing Adam up in a dead dead characters conversation out of nowhere as proof that he won't come back, but what if it's the complete opposite?

What if she's crushing our hopes beforehand so that this would be a genuine shock, plot twist and reveal when it comes up and not just be Vaggie being an exterminator 2.0 where everyone sort of knew she was going to be one because of how far the theory has gotten and how much it makes sense??

Also if you look at everything else they blatantly point at him coming back, such as Viv saying a fun villain would be back for season 2, that whole interview, Blake being excited about a rock song, Alex advertising the second season with Adam and Hell the shows entire worldbuilding.

Thanks for coming to the TED talk of a delusional Adam fan.

(As I know, Alex shared a fake leak about the author of the journals back when the show was airing.)

Also speaking of Gravity Falls, just a little something funny if you didn't knew, if you write 'BABBA' in the computer of thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com, you can listen to Dipper singing the full version of Disco Girl lol.

Also write Theory.

The amounts of copium sdkfjdkgd getting TJLC levels in here (I was part of TJLC so I get it)

I mean friend, tbh? That's compelling, like you said, it wouldn't be the first time a creator does something like it. I can't tell you that it's not possible because it certainly IS possible, so I'm not gonna stop you lolol

I guess I'm not doing theories like that or anything because I've accepted it and just kind of moved on LOL, it'll suck if we don't get sinner Adam, but also oh well, it's just a fictional character at the end of the day, we'll be okay

I'd absolutely lose my mind if Vivzie was really playing 5D chess this whole time though, that'd be epic, I'd tip my hat

[vidavalor]

So I’ve been thinking about your metatron is Satan theory and how Crowley, the Angels and Adam see what they expect to see and idly wondering if it’s sort of the same for all demons. We have multiple versions of Crowley and Bildad, and lots of theories as to why, but what if it’s as simple as the various characters see what they expect and so we the viewer see variations? Beez getting a new face may throw a spanner into that idea but it just seems to me that if this is the plot twist in season three then the different versions of Crowley may be a clue… anyhow your meta was brilliant and wanted to toss my poorly thought out 1am musings at you to see what you thought.

Hi there @thavron! Hope you're having a great weekend so far. 💕I've been thinking again about bees a bit as a result of your ask so there is baklava for a honeyed dessert. Love your thoughts-- they've been tickling my brain for a few days now. 😊

If you're meaning: do we all sometimes see people as we want them to be or who we think they are, rather than who they actually are... then, yes, I would say that fits in with the recognition themes the show has going on.

To an extent, we all do this, right? And the show about angels and demons is really about the messy and amazing business of being a person. All the angels and demons are people, just like the humans. We all put on a performance in society to some extent. Our clothes, our grooming choices, how we speak, how we walk, eye contact, body language-- all of this is a performance. It's a construct that we get up every morning and do. Awhile back, we were looking at the choices David Tennant is making when it comes to Crowley's walk in different time periods-- especially when Crowley takes the stage to help Aziraphale in 1941-- and how the walk is representative of how comfortable he feels in society in different eras. That's just one aspect of things but, yeah, we're all showing one face to the world as a whole but those we let in often get to see another one.

I think that, for the most part, this holds true with angels and demons. Satan is an exception to the rule because he's Satan and actually evil so he is capable of the dubious kind of magic that the other characters don't really do. Satan will possess someone without consent, for instance. It's not hard to see that he would steal someone's physical appearance to mask his own as he already stole the voice of Freddie Mercury in S1 (which I also think is another clue to the idea that it's not actually The Metatron at the end of S2, as we've seen Satan do something like this before already.)

I think that the rest of the demons see what we see when they look at one another, on a physical appearance level. As you pointed out, Crowley can see that Beez has a new face in S2 so Crowley sees Beez's physical presentation as how we see Beez's physical presentation. He also can recognize Shax when she's bouncing around humanoid forms outside the bookshop in the mid-part of the season. There are different versions of Crowley because Crowley has lived on Earth forever and is just blending in with different societies (and he also gets bored lol.) I think that's one aspect of the recognition theme in the show because what we see when we look at each other and how that informs our ability to recognize ourselves seems like a big thing in the story.

I think S2 is talking about recognition on several different levels. We have recognition in terms of how every character on the show is really desperate for someone to tell them that they're good and that they're doing a good job. Beez's only solo scene in the whole season is actually about that and it parallels Aziraphale's anger, embarrassment, and frustration over Heaven's treatment of him. Everyone's a bit Norman from S1 who wanted a watch and some kind words and to bugger off and go tend to some marigolds but whose company wouldn't let him go and dragged him into a paintball Armageddon lol.

It's only natural to want recognition, really, as we all want to be noticed and seen for what we do, but it also underscores a bigger theme of that how we see ourselves can impact our ability to fully see others... but also how if we open ourselves up and allow room for curiosity and empathy, our ability to see others as they are allows for more open, honest, communication... and how that's good for all of us. That way lies peace-- both inner peace and peace with others.

In almost every major scene in S2, at least one character is trying to recognize at least one other one in some way and it's often literally recognizing the person. There is no one character in the series who is flawless at this and that's because they're all people representing us and none of us are flawless at this, are we? At recognizing ourselves or at fully seeing others at times without our own bullshit getting in the way? Even those of us who consciously try to be open, empathetic people struggle with this because we're people. The angels and demons are no better or worse than any of the humans and their story is actually about the messy but amazing business of being a person, which they all are.

If and how the characters recognize others around them in S2 reflects how those characters see themselves and the world around them. It's a matter of perspective and it's not one-sided because how we present ourselves to the world reflects what we're willing to share and sets up expectations that some others might take at face value but that might not be true. Other, more open-minded people might be able to see through those walls, though, if they're in a place to do so.

Ineffable Bureaucracy are the cleanest example of this (and one of the funniest) because here you have in Gabriel a character that you don't expect would be as open-minded as he is. In a lot of scenes in S1, we saw him putting on airs to cover up his curiosity and empathy as a means to survive. Yet, he has one of the smoothest recognition challenges in S2.

At first, he doesn't recognize Beez with their new face but, once it's established that this is the being he likes greatly, he doesn't think twice about it. Gabriel looks like the kind of guy who would care about appearance of others because he's a bit vain about his own but he literally could give a fuck that his partner changed up their face because what matters to him more is that it was the same person inside.

The guy who seems like the shallowest character on the show-- and, in some ways, is-- is actually also one of the least shallow. He also knew without question that he could trust Aziraphale and Crowley and went to them for help intuitively, even without consciously remembering them. Gabriel is actually a pretty good judge of character, all things considered. In S2, we learn more about him and as the characters recognize that he might not be quite who they thought he was, it's on us to see that we can think that, too. Our perspectives can evolve with a bit of empathy.

Lord Beezlebub also shows that they can be good at recognizing truth in others, too. One of the best moments of recognition in S2 is when Beez sees Gabriel's vanity for the loneliness that it masks when he takes them to see the statue of himself. Most of us, honestly, would probably run screaming from a guy who took us to show us art of himself and bragged about how beautiful it was but Beez gets it. They see Gabriel then even more than he sees himself a bit. They see that he really took them here because the statue is all he feels he is to people and he's being crushed under the weight of being revered like a god by humans and angels alike. He's just a lonely dude with no friends and more heart than he lets on.

The statue scene is also the punchline to the joke started earlier in the season during The Resurrectionist minisode, though, right?It calls back to Crowley saying that Gabriel probably came to the statue to "stare at it for hours" and "marvel at his own beauty." Crowley wasn't wrong, exactly, but he also wasn't fully correct, either. He didn't understand totally why Gabriel might really come to the statue, which Beez later would understand.

Crowley is one of the best judges of character in the series but S2 showed just how much his blindspot is his trauma, like it is for a lot of people. Crowley took almost the whole season to see Gabriel for who he is and he had reason to distrust him, sure. His fear of the situation is reasonable and understandable but it also shows a narrowed perspective. It showed how it was hard for Crowley to admit to himself that maybe Gabriel has been as trapped as he and Aziraphale have been-- that maybe he's as much of a victim and a survivor of all of this as they are-- because they've spent so long ascribing blame to him instead of considering that maybe he, also, had no way out. Recognizing Gabriel means Crowley recognizing and dealing with aspects of his trauma that he'd sometimes rather avoid, which made it harder and caused it to take longer for the two of them to get to a point of actually talking. When they do, we see them recognizing each other's suffering and showing each other empathy. The end of S1 is Crowley spitting hellfire in Gabriel's face but the end of S2 is just him all ugh ok fine...

Growth lol.

We also see how history can provide context that can inform the ability to recognize others as well. Aziraphale has a longer, more complicated history with Gabriel than Crowley does. Aziraphale had more reason to suspect that there could be more to Gabriel than he always let everyone see, especially since there are a couple of scenes in S1 without Crowley but between just Gabriel and Aziraphale (the sushi restaurant and the Sandalphon exchange at the bookshop) where it seems like Gabriel is trying to protect Aziraphale as best he knows how and that Aziraphale seems aware that he's trying to do that. It's how Aziraphale arrives first at "I don't think he has any friends" and thinking that Gabriel needed him and Crowley, especially since he had shown up alone and vulnerable.

Aziraphale also sees the benefit of trying to get Gabriel and Crowley to talk to one another-- not in a would-benefit-Heaven-and-Hell sort of way, just in the sense that they are more alike than they realize and had been through similar things. That's a form of recognition as well-- acknowledgement of a person's pain and needs when they've not had that from others. Aziraphale is proven correct and his ability to see both Crowley and Gabriel for who they are and who they can be is admirable and shows his empathy and open-mindedness.

But mah point is that it's scene after scene of recognition... Gabriel's entire plot. Muriel shows up at the door, doesn't recognize Aziraphale. Crowley can't remember (or chooses to pretend he can't remember) Furfur and Saraqael. Michael almost recognizes Gabriel in the bookshop. Shax is desperate for Satan's recognition for her job performance-- but also for Crowley's attention. Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets wants everyone to see him as a leader. Maggie feels unlovable and just wants Nina to notice her, all while failing to recognize that what Nina wants is for someone to notice that she's in pain and to lend her support... this is all off of the end of S1 and the body swap plot in which Crowley and Aziraphale literally stayed alive by being able to recognize one another on different levels so astutely that they could impersonate one another. (Another hint, imho, that maybe the mirrored end of S2 might feature another character who seems like one character we know but who is actually another with The Metatron-is-actually-Satan idea.)

Even the little moments of the season have recognition woven into them. Do we know a Jim?, Maggie and Nina's first scene is kicked off by Nina recognizing Maggie as a regular and remembering her coffee order...

Maybe the sweetest moment of the whole season is a scene highlighting Aziraphale's struggles with reconciling his own needs in the face of having been taught he's not to want anything for himself and Crowley recognizing that struggle and supporting Aziraphale by telling him he's already perfect as he is. Damn straight I'm including the gifs I love this damn scene lol..

But the big scene that parallels the arrival of "The Metatron" in The Final 15 is the angels failing to recognize Bildad the Shuite coming through the door, right?

When Crowley comes in as Bildad the Shuite to the group scene in the Job minisode, Gabriel, Michael and the other angels fail to recognize Bildad as Crowley entirely because of the things Crowley later explained to Muriel as his analogy around bees. The idea is that context, imagination and ego inform our ability to recognize someone (and also ourselves.)

Contextually, it made more sense to the angels in that moment for Bildad to be some weird human than it did for him to be a demon working to save the lives of Job's children. This is one of the main reasons why the angels don't recognize Crowley-- they simply don't see a scenario where there would be someone to recognize. It's just like how Michael initially doesn't assume that the person who comes through the door in 2.06 could be anyone they should care about-- because they're on Earth, in a bookshop that is open to the public, so the unexpected person who came through the door must be a human person shopping for books.

Context also includes appearance and one of the things I loved about the other angels failing to realize that they know Bildad is how it contrasts with my favorite bit of recognition in S2-- Aziraphale instantly recognizing Crowley from a distance, after over 500 years, and with Crowley looking completely different. The second Aziraphale actually looks at the demon he's telling to avaunt! on outta there, he knows it's Crowley. The jump from the Crowley of The Flood to Bildad the Shuite is huge. Crowley even has sunglasses on for the first time chronologically in the scene and Aziraphale's just like "it's you." He would recognize the love of his life anywhere.

As far as the ego part goes, all Gabriel cared about in the Job minisode was a scenario that didn't undermine him and which got all the boxes checked on their assignment so when Crowley and Aziraphale present him with that, Gabriel is happy to shut down any minor opposition to the truth to go with what he is presented with-- in large part because of ego. Aziraphale and Crowley flatter Gabriel into submission to their plan. Gabriel eats it up and because he has the power in the scene, Michael's suspicions are not given credence for more than a moment.

Michael also lacks the imagination to figure out what could actually be going on and takes what they're told is the truth too easily because, like most know-it-alls, they actually don't really feel like they know anything. They defaulted to Gabriel's "they can come at any size" comment so easily not just because he had the power in the scene but because they suddenly doubted themselves and let someone else tell them how they were to think.

Michael's lack of imagination and tendency towards purely literal thinking is also on display when they are shown to not understand Crowley's shoes joke. They sense shenanigans are afoot but don't exactly know how and they also seek to look impressive to the boss so they jump in that "'Shuite', of course, means 'from the land of 'Shua'," which is correct. It does mean that. Michael is not wrong but they just are so sheltered by life in Heaven and so lacking in imagination that they also lack sense of humor enough to hear the homophony in Shuite/Shoes. The only angel who gets the joke is, of course, Aziraphale.

So, a lack of imagination (which is also a lack of big picture and creative thinking), a reliance upon context, and the perils of ego are why the angels didn't recognize Bildad as Crowley in 2500 BC and are also what Crowley is explaining to Muriel with his bees analogy.

It wouldn't actually occur to the angels as possible that there could just be a demon roaming around in Heaven because they're all too caught up in themselves to consider the possibility, right? To admit that it's possible is to admit that maybe they themselves are fallible and don't know everything. Angels are taught that they are near to perfection and should behave in that way so it's hard to think of themselves as having weaknesses that might need to be addressed. They all know they do have them but they can't admit it or they're admitting at failing to live up to the impossible standards of Heaven.

Many of us have trouble admitting that the point is that we're all here to learn and be curious and we aren't meant to know everything and that things would be less fun if we did. We struggle to admit when we've gotten something-- or someone-- wrong. People who have an inability to see a bigger picture are also sometimes blocked from doing so by their own trauma and issues-- as Crowley himself proves.

Sometimes, people just aren't that imaginative or haven't had the opportunity to use their imagination, as Crowley sees in the angels. The point is that none of us are perfect in our ability to recognize ourselves and those around us. If we all just continue to try to do so and keep a curious, open mind about each other, though, it leads to more peace for everyone. It means we're talking to each other more, which is the healthy way forward.

So, if the whole season is using these characters to talk about our ability to see ourselves and others and if it has us watch scene after scene of recognition or lack thereof between the characters where we feel like these characters might not know what's up but we sure do, right?...

...we knew Gabriel was telling the truth about his memory loss... we knew the Inspector Constable at the door was the angel from the Job minisode... we recognized Lord Beezlebub with a new face... we definitely knew who came through the door and called himself "Bildad the Shuite"...

...wouldn't it then be a kicker if the end of that season is to prove the point by showing us that we're all actually as infallible as these characters are? That we're all bees, too?

And how would they do that?

Possibly by presenting us with a character we think we can recognize but which, if we look a little closer, we might realize is not quite who he seems to be.

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Twisted Love pt 5

Loki x reader

Pairing: Loki x Wife reader

Warnings: Forced marriage, language, anxiety, panic attacks, if I forgot anything please let me know!

Summary: Loki Leaves for the hunt and your left to your own devices.

A.N Sorry it’s been so long loves!! The writers block was hitting hard but the Loki show revived me lol, hope you enjoy this chapter!

"No your highness, you should wear this. It's tradition after all"

You glanced over to the wardrobe where Adessa held out a silky dress of emerald.

"Tradition to wear green?" You tilted your head.

She smiled nodding her head, "No, not quite, but it is tradition to wear your husbands colors on the days of the hunt" she pulled you towards the screen and slid the fabric to you. Knowing you liked privacy.

“Oh I see" for some reason that made you feel a bit embarrassed but you slid off your sleep clothes and complied anyway.

Luckily last night your exhaustion won over so you didn't lie nervously overthinking from Loki being so close for too long.

Although you had been anxious, you actually didn't hate that he slept next to you. It was sort of nice to not sleep alone.

You stepped out and Adessa nodded approvingly. "Now for the finishing touches, she pulled you towards a small chest on the ground and pulled out a few golden accessories.

"There, now there's just one more thing..." she shuffled in the chest some more and her hands pulled out a small dainty golden headpiece that had two protruding horns.

"Adessa do I have to wear that...?" You eyed the crown carefully. It wasn't that you didn't like the headpiece. Quite opposite actually because the piece shimmered gorgeously and you loved how the design was subtle and elegant all at once. The problem however was that is was a version of Lokis own Horn crown and for some reason that made you shy.

"Yes you do, it's the law" you gave a her a look.

"Ok so it's not the law but still, you'll look lovely with it on and his majesty won't be able to resist."

That doesn't make me feel any better...

Reluctantly you nodded, knowing she wouldn't give up any time soon.

"Alright now you're ready, let's go!" she pushed you excitedly out of the tent before you could even mentally prepare yourselves.

The guards at the entrance bowed slightly when you appeared then proceeded to escort you.

You eyed Adessa nervously.

"Don't worry, we are just going to see off the hunting parties" she whispered then fell into step behind you. You nodded and tried not to shrink away when you saw people stop to look at you.

You knew that everything, even you being escorted was all part of the big show.

Even the trail you walked was lined with petals.

Ok this was nearing on being ridiculous now...

"This way your highness" one of the guards motioned to an open area where you could see in the distance Loki, Thor and the rest of the royal family. They were all clad in lavish armor, in their respective colors.

You gulped when you neared closer and gained their attention.

"Her royal highness" the guards stepped aside and left you exposed.

With a shaky smile you bowed and walked closer. Frigga was the first to greet you.

“My dear you look absolutely lovely” she pulled you to stand next to her which you were grateful of.

You bowed your head slightly to the all father, and Thor and when your eyes met Loki you sucked in a breathe. His eyes were not on you but rather roaming from bottom to top.

Perhaps you should have fought Adessa harder, did he think this was too much?

When he did finally look up he averted his gaze quickly and you felt you had upset him somehow.

"Loki doesn't she look absolutely stunning" you flushed at her sudden teasing. Frigga why...

You hesitantly looked to him awaiting his answer,

he cleared his throat, "Yes she does" although he was basically forced to say it it still made you fluttery and nervous all the same.

"Now then let's not waste another moment" Odin suddenly announced stepping in front of everyone.

"Good luck my dears” Frigga gave her sons a nod then turned to you with an encouraging nod.

“G-good Luck Loki” you felt butterflies flutter in your stomach, had his name always sounded so smooth on your tongue?

He gave you a small nod then turned around with the others and made their way out of the camp.

“Now how about some breakfast?” The Queen smiled and offered her arm.

“That sounds lovely” you followed her through the makeshift camp, eyes leaving Lokis disappearing figure reluctantly.

**********************************************

“My Lady I wonder if I might ask a favor of you…”

You perked up from your laying position under the shade of a beautiful bay lily tree.

“Of course, what is it?” You eyed the slightly blushing girl curiously.

“Well um you see, this camp is close to an old dear friends place of mine and well I’d hate to miss the opportunity to see her while I’m here um…would it be alright if I took the next few hours off? Of course I’ll have someone look after you in my stead!”

A smirk formed on your lips. “Well of course, we can’t keep your dear “friend” waiting now can we?”

“Here” you handed her the thick cloak that lay at your side. “It’s been getting colder I’ve noticed, oh and don’t worry about getting back to me too soon, enjoy your time, take tomorrow off as well if you wish, I’ll be just fine here on my own.” You smiled encouragingly. Honestly you felt a little uneasy at the thought of not having her nearby but you could tell she needed a break. Preparations for the hunt have been running everyone ragged.

She practically jumped on you with joy,” Oh my Sweet benevolent gracious Lady! You are truly a gem among rocks!!”

“Alright alright, you’d best save that sweet talk for your friend hm?” You jutted your head towards the camp entrance.

“Now go on before it gets dark, and I mean it about not rushing back, I don’t want you walking back at night, it’s not safe. Come back during daylight tommorow ok?”

“Ok mother will do, I’ll alert one of the maids so they can-“

“N-no that’s not necessary, I’ll be ok on my own”

“But how could I possibly leave you with no one to assist you?”

“Honestly I’ll be alright, I’m just going to be laying here reading anyway. And I am more than capable of dressing myself for bed.”

She looked like she wanted to protest but you playfully pushed her along and she reluctantly agreed. “Well alright… but if you need anything ask for Felice, she’s very sweet and keeps her nose where it belongs.

“Alright, I will, have fun”

“Oh I will my Lady, don’t you worry” she winked before practically sprinting out the camp.

You laughed quietly after her, the sun was still high in the sky and everyone seemed to have something to do but you. Sighing you threw your book aside and decided to stretch your legs.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Mathis and some other guards helping unload crates off a carriage.

Frowning you spun the other direction away from him and began walking mindlessly.

It was amazing how this area was once just forest and now it looked like a mini city.

Luckily everyone was occupied so no guards followed you. One thing you took for granted in your old life was freedom of well… freedom.

In the palace you didn’t leave your room that often and when you did a guard was beside you wherever you went.

You quickened your steps until you reached the outskirts of the camp. There was practically no one there and you felt you could finally relax, truly relax.

Your eyes scanned the forest line, dozens of tall beautiful trees lined the area. Valheim didn’t have beautiful foliage like this, or maybe it did, it’s not like you really had a chance to go on vacation.

You spent several moments standing there breathing in the crisp air.

Your thoughts traveled to Loki and wondered how he was faring. In all your time together you’d only seen him composed and elegant, you couldn’t exactly picture him covered in blood and taking down a wolf. Or perhaps he’d opt for a bow instead of his golden blades.

The area was too peaceful to leave so soon so you decided to explore a bit more. You followed a small opening between two trees that formed a natural trail.

You kicked off your shoes and sighed happily feeling the soft grass caress your feet.

You started to pick flowers along the way, maybe you’d bring a bundle back for Frigga. Or maybe that would seem not proper? Picking wildflowers like common folk. Oh well you’d pick them anyway and decide later since they were so pretty.

Maybe you’d make perfume for yourself out of them…

Before you knew it you had a picked enough flowers to fill a shop, your dress wrappings conveniently formed the perfect basket.

The dimming of the sky caught your attention.

Perhaps you should be getting back before anyone worries about your absence.

You are just about to turn back when a sudden howl has you frozen to the spot.

****************************

Next Taglist

Ok so a bit of a short chapter but I’ve already begun writing the next one! Please let me know what you think:)

@oceanmermaidwitch

@sophiaedits

@anda-the-valkyrie

@daddylokisqueen

@anemois-hiraeth

@movielover2002

@ibuki-as-president

@someonesleftshoe

@sin-bin-kin

@sara–ravenclaw

@fuzzyphantomsandwich-blog

@the-professor-of-gallifrey

@spike-meowsters

@gasstationfifacard

@katrinakennedy1

@useless-snail

@not-anotha-loki-fanart-acc

@crimson25

@huntress-artemiss

@ilovefanfictions

@christineblood

@prpertyofnoone

@hatsparkle

@loveisfolklore

@mari-styles14

@y-napotat

@pietromaximoffsbabe

@fuzzyphantomsandwich

@shikamaruscumrag

@blueheartofrainbow

@mydogsteppedonabee

@n0sl33pc1u8

@daintinessiskey

@ajeff855

@yougottalovefandoms

@riot-sounds

@thenerdyoldersister

@shadowluna25

@janeaustenlover

@deepdinosaurwizard

@flightlexsbird

@legendarygalaxytheorist

@esoltis280

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [11]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 19,142

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, canon drug use, canon violence, blood, bruises, manipulation, canon manipulation, canon character death, mentions of the wolf story from the cabin (it's not detailed like in the show), mentions of PTSD (canon), mentions of abuse

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Fun fact: Scarecrow is actually my second favorite Batman villain (second to the Riddler of course) so I had fun writing Crane a little bit lol I am so sorry this is so late. I ended up busy for once so lol but it is a long chapter to make up for it!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

You come to half an hour later, your eyes peeking open slowly. Your head is in a haze like when a sudden nap happens and you wake up confused what day it is and how long you've been asleep. Your eyes scan around, spotting Jason sitting on the floor a few feet away from you cleaning one of his guns. He's still in the Red Hood suit with his helmet off to the side and there's a blotch of light red on his jaw, right where your fist connected with his face. And the guilt hits like a freight train. You clear your throat making Jason look up to you and you think you just saw his face relax.

“What the fuck just happened?” Your throat is raw and you can't tell if that's some weird after-effect of the drug or if it's from all the yelling.

Maybe it's both.

Jason looks up to you and his stomach starts to twist into knots. The guilt is dulled but it's that echo that's annoying, like a headache that just won't quit. He's been sitting here the entire time, looking to you to make sure you're okay and wondering what he's supposed to say when you come to. He wishes he knew but he doesn't.

He can't take back what he said and he can't back you fighting. Drug or not, it never should have happened. None of it. It never should have involved you. But, now it's messier than ever and Jason desperately wants to leave it all in the shadows and creaky floorboards of this room. He doesn't want it on his shoulders or lingering on his skin or his tongue anymore. But, maybe he doesn't want you to know that just yet.

He's high but he always cares about you. And maybe, letting himself be cold about everything will be better. Maybe you'll finally leave. It'd be better for you if you did anyway.

“Exhaustion is a side effect of the comedown. The only way around it is to sleep or take more and I wasn’t gonna give you mine.” Jason states casually, going back to cleaning.

You furrow your brows. You keep coming back to wondering how you missed him taking this. It all seems so obvious and you feel so guilty about it. Maybe you were so wrapped in the sort of fantasy of being happy, with him, that you willfully ignored every warning sign. That isn't entirely true. You knew something was going on, but maybe if you looked harder, went back to your pessimism, you wouldn't have missed it.

“So, you just…let me sleep? After that?” You scoff, trying desperately to figure out which side his logic is landing at the moment.

“Cleaned the cut on your head and made sure you were fine.” Jason shrugs, his eyes glancing to you for just a second.

As soon as Jason got Hank done and into a cab back to Wayne Manor, he cleaned the blood and cut off of you. He definitely followed it with another hit from an inhaler but he helped you anyway. At the end of the day, at the end of all of this, he just wants you to be safe. Crane might be trying to fill his head with lies and it might be working, but Jason knows in the very center of his chest, you don’t deserve anything bad to happen to you ever again. You might not be entirely on the same side, but Jason isn’t going to just throw you to the side. He won’t do it. It's why he pulled his punches and he never pulls his punches.

“What about Hank?” You ask softly, your eyes never leaving him.

You're pretty sure he's still high.

Jason pulls out his phone, checking the time. “He has a few hours.”

You roll your eyes. Now that you aren’t high on the drug, your thoughts are more logical, no longer fueled by anger. You watch Jason and you remember Hank saying he’d kill Jason if given the chance. It’s not that you agree with Jason killing him, but maybe it’s kill or be killed.

“Why Hank? Like what made you do that?” You question, earning a side eye from Jason. He doesn't want you involved in any of this which also means you don't get to know the reason. Not from his mouth. “Okay, you’re not gonna put a bomb in my chest. Gar is your friend. You don’t stand a chance against Kory or Conner. Dawn is Dawn. You like to fuck with Dick. That leaves Hank, right?”

Jason offers you a grin before he chuckles. “He’s also a fucking prick and you know it.” Jason gestures a lazy free hand at you and something about the grin and the gesture, almost seems normal.

You shake off the familiarity of it because at the end of the day, you don't think Hank deserves to die, not if he didn't come here with the intent to kill Jason. “Yeah….but what? Did you lure him here or?”

Jason can tell you're digging but he can't tell for what. His reasoning why Hank and how he got him here, isn't important. It's not even relevant to really anything. But, Jason knows you and he's starting to think maybe you're digging to see if you should be on his side. That's what you usually did for things that didn't really matter. Get his side of the story so you can side with him.

“Why do you wanna know so damn bad?”

“I wanna know how mad I need to be.” Your shoulders feel heavy with the shrug.

Jason scoffs and even if he doesn't want you involved, he wants you on his side. If you're on his side, you'll back off and let the plan fall into place. “I didn’t make him come. I asked to and he did, without backup.”

“How’d you get him to show up, Jason?” You almost groan because getting answers out of him sometimes is like pulling teeth.

“Said Dick would kill me and I just wanted to come home.” Jason can't help the chuckle that falls from his throat.

Something about it is amusing.

You nod your head and maybe you feel a little less bad. You know Jason had some sort of ploy to get him here. Hank was just dumb enough to fall for it. After everything, apparently, he didn’t learn not to go headfirst into something without backup. That was just stupid. But, that also makes you question Hank’s intentions.

You don’t believe for even one second Hank showed up alone with the intention to help Jason. He was pissed earlier and he’s an ass. If Hank told any of the Titans, they would have come with him and none of them wanted Jason dead. Maybe Jason told Hank he was watching him but you figure if anyone would know how to get around being watched in Gotham, it would have been you or Dick. Yet, Hank didn't go to either of you. On top of that, why would Jason call Hank if he wanted to come home and not you or Gar? Maybe Hank wanted to be the one to either kill Jason or bring him down himself. Maybe you feel a little less bad about it.

Kill or be killed.

“Asshole.” You huff.

You watch Jason carefully, an easy smirk dancing across his lips but it never reaches his eyes. You're sober now, remembering everything that happened and you can feel the guilt washing over your insides like charcoal. None of it is true. And you hate that any of it was even said. If you didn’t mean it, neither did Jason. It was the drug and you're positive of that. And you're thinking the drug is the entire reason Jason is trying to kill Hank.

A very large part of you is wondering if you would helped Jason had you not been so mad at him. You actually think you would have and that is something you would never do. Hank is a Titan and he didn’t do anything to warrant his death sentence. You wouldn’t normally kill him but you're almost positive you would have had you not been mad at Jason. And you think, maybe that’s the reason Crane helped Jason make the drug, to weaponize him and at this moment, you swear his days are numbered. But, before you seek your revenge, you want Jason back.

Getting him back is going to be a lot more difficult because even you're sitting here itching for another hit of an inhaler. You can’t imagine how Jason is feeling the second it starts to wear off. But you want him back and you're not going to rest until you get him back.

“He probably came to kill you.” You state.

Jason snaps his attention to you, his brows furrowing. “What?” Jason huffs.

“Yeah, Titans are pissed. Well, Hank. Everyone else is just confused how the hell you’re alive and with the shit you’re doing. But Hank said if he came to it, he’d kill you so.” You let out a breath and you swear his expression just deflated.

“And you fucking fought me over that shit?”

“I was high.” You huff. “Which you know damn well if it weren’t for that shit you’re also on, by the way, I never would have. But you get the cure to fear and you lie to me and you don’t even share.” You spit back while Jason dodges your eyes this time, going back to cleaning the gun you think has to be clean by now.

“I don’t want you involved.”

“Okay.” You let out a sigh. "Why not?" You ask, Jason glancing up to you, the white strands of hair falling onto his forehead. "Is it Crane or is it me? Is it the drug? Why don't you want me involved, Jay? Because you keep fucking saying that shit with no explanation."

Jason opens his mouth to fight back, to tell you to let it rest and he doesn't have to tell you anything. But, his eyes land on the cut on your forehead and the bruising near your cheek and he caves.

"Do you really want to work with Jonathan fucking Crane?" Jason spits, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"You never gave me the choice to." You state.

"I knew you wouldn't go for it." Jason shrugs, looking back to the gun because that seems a lot easier than looking at your face now.

"Okay." You let out a sigh of defeat.

There’s no point in talking about it. He’s clearly high. You can tell by the coldness that surrounds his voice. He’s going to believe whatever Crane has to say to him because that’s the drug, you're almost certain. And Crane gave him something to cure him. Jason's in debt to him. He sees him as a savior of sorts and you desperately wish you could get through to him. But at least you understand it now.

A part of you don’t think anything could have gotten through to you while you were high. It’s powerful and strong, all-consuming. You were only high for two hours and you hate that version of yourself but there is this twitch through your bones that almost wants to ask Jason for his. It’s like a sudden vibration starting in your bone marrow and radiating through your head and your chest. And you can even feel the lingering tinge of anger like the very end of a fire.

Whatever insane shit Crane had Jason cook up, is fucked. You hope it’s not too late to talk some sense into Jason but you have to catch him when he’s not high. You aren't now and it was only one dose anyway but you swear, you feel normal. It's just that small twitch in your bones that feels uncomfortable. But, that's it. You feel like you never took it in the first place and maybe it's not too late for him. It might be a waste of breath to try when he's high, but you have to try anyway. He would for you.

You scoot closer to Jason until you're right in front of him. Jason pauses his movements, looking over your face. He felt the guilt creeping in before he took the inhaler again. He knows he’ll never forgive himself.

You place your hands on his cheeks and Jason’s face softens and you know he’s there somewhere. But you don’t feel his hands move to you and you feel like you're losing him slowly.

Maybe that’s worse than him being ripped away.

Jason’s eyes dodge yours and he wants to peel his skin off his bones. It feels wrong for you to touch him. It feels all wrong. He can’t bring his hands to your hips or to your hands or anywhere. You don’t feel like you're his anymore and it’s all his fault. He told you you were a mistake. You always deserved better than him but not a single part of him can bring himself to push again. Because you look at him with soft eyes as if you didn’t just explode on each other and have a real fight. You look at him like he’s still the only person you could ever love wholly and solely.

“You're gonna regret it, Jay. Hank fucking sucks and I don’t fucking like him either. But you’re gonna regret it.”

“Why did you fight me over him? You said he was gonna kill me.” Jason asks, his voice is soft.

Jason knows if he weren't high, that part of everything would hurt, too. A lot more than it does right now. And he is so thankful he doesn't have to deal with that pain. He's so tired of pain.

“You wouldn’t let me kill Jerry. And I knew it’d piss you off if I stopped you.” You move your hands to his legs. "And Hank isn't Jerry." You shake your head softly. "If you kill him, that'll be it and I don't want that for you, Jay."

You watch Jason hang his head, highlights from the light in the room bouncing off the white streak of hair. You know you can’t really get through to him, not right now but you want to believe you can. It makes it easier.

Jason just finds it hard to look at you. And he wants to know how you can do that. The drug still wins and he is sturdy in the plan, unmoving and relentless. But, he listens anyway and you make his chest hurt. The guilt and shame are thundering and ramming the jail bars in the back of his head as hard as they can. He doesn’t know why you're still here. Maybe it’d be easier if he believed you were working another angle. And for a second, he starts to talk himself into it, the drug encouraging him.

Maybe you're just trying to get inside of his head so the other Titans can finish him off. Maybe you're just using him, like Crane said. Maybe you want to the drug all for yourself now. Maybe you're waiting for your own moment to finish him off, he falls into your criteria now, doesn’t he?

But his eyes back to yours and all the fight he has is shaken loose, scattering through his chest as an apology breaks through.

“Sorry for what I said and for fighting you.” Jason says quietly.

Your face softens and you think maybe it's working, just a little bit. “Yeah, me too.” You nod softly.

Jason puts the gun off to the side, making sure the barrel is facing away from both of you. He finally finds it himself to bring his hands to your waist. They’re shaking and hesitant, his grip not nearly as strong as it usually is.

“No, I mean it. I don’t mean any of that shit. I don’t want you involved.” Jason's voice becomes barely a whisper. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

“Jay, I am fucking terrified for you.” You place your hands over his. “I know you don’t see it, but this is going to get fucking bad and I am scared, I know you’re not. But I am. Deactivate that bomb and come home, Jay, please.” You clear your throat. “I’m not mad…I get it. I know you didn’t mean it. I didn't either.”

“I can’t.” Jason drops his hands, shaking his head. “This is me. Gotham needs someone who can control the crime and do the hard shit. We have a plan and it’ll work out, alright? You just have to trust me.” A piece of the real Jason finds a way to break through as his jaw clenches and his brows furrow with the sudden shake his of his head. “Please.”

“I trust you more than anyone but I don’t trust Crane. You can still do this Red Hood stuff. You don’t need Crane. You never fucking needed Bruce either. You don’t need Dick. You don’t need any of them, Jay. You can just do your own thing and protect Gotham the way you want to. All you and I’ll stand beside you if you want me to. You don’t need him.”

“Yeah, I do.” Jason keeps it short.

“Okay.” You nod your head and it actually burns as if acid is being poured down your throat.

It has to be the drug. That has to be how Crane has been able to manipulate him so well. But, it is nearly paralyzing because for some reason, Crane asking Jason to do all of this, is more important than you asking him to come home. With you. Somehow, staying loyal to Crane is more important to him right now. Jason on the anti-fear drug is not the Jason you know and love.

“Deactivate the bomb. I’m asking nicely and then just beat the shit out of Hank if that’s what you want to do. I’ll get some popcorn and watch. You can’t come back from that, okay? Like you said.”

“It’s done.”

“Alright, Jay.” You let out a sigh.

You tried your best and you want him back. You don’t want him to wake up when this is over and deal with the fact he killed Hank. It’s going to destroy him. The guilt will finish him off and you hate the very idea of that. He’s not too far gone but you're terrified he will be soon. So, you move your hands to his cheeks again and press your lips to his.

Jason freezes, bits of shock taking over his body because in no world did he expect you to kiss him. But you do and you kiss him with all of the strength you can muster as Jason squeezes your hips and kisses you back. You kiss him with everything in you as if that’s enough to suck out the drug from his bloodstream and bring him back home. You kiss him as if it’s enough to make everything better again like putting a bandaid on a bruise to trick your mind into thinking it doesn’t hurt. But you pull away and his eyes are still dilated and he lacks that cheesy but lazy grin he would normally have. And you hate this.

“I’m going back to the manor.” You pause, lingering for a few seconds as if to be hoping Jason would ask you to stay but the words never leave his lips. You don’t know it, but he almost says them. He doesn’t want you here but you still feel like home and he really misses the warmth of home. Jason doesn’t like feeling so cold all the time. “I hope you can live with this when you have a comedown. I hope you snap out of it. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you go through with this. You’re really pushing the line, Jay.” Jason watches you carefully as you start to leave. “Be careful and just fucking think about it. Let yourself be sober for an hour, okay? Love you.” You let out a sigh before you head out of the room before Jason can even reply.

Jason keeps his stare on the doorway before he lets out a breath. He is begging you to understand and just trust him. You always said you trust him more than anyone and this is the one time he desperately needs you to trust him. It’ll get messier if you keep trying to get him to be a Titan again and in his impaired state, it pisses him off.

The Titans have always treated him as lesser and leftovers. He was the replacement for Dick. That’s all he ever was and he was expendable, Deathstroke proved that. And he’s better, how they handle Hank is going to more proof. The only people who didn’t treat Jason like that are you and Gar. That’s it. The Titans are the enemy and he just wants you to see through their bullshit the same way you're trying to get Jason to see through Crane’s bullshit. He just wants you to trust him.

You get back to the Manor, standing outside and looking at the entrance. The guilt is chewing at you, slowly eating you whole. You hate Hank, especially with the threat of killing Jason. But, you don’t think he deserves to die. Not unles he was really going to kill Jason when he went to meet him today. Then, at that point, he got what was coming. But you aren’t sure that’s really what the plan was and you feel horrible you couldn’t do anything to stop it.

You tried, you pulled your punches, but you tried and it wasn’t good enough. Hank might die today because you weren’t good enough. You hate him but you think about Dawn. Dawn doesn’t deserve to lose him. She loves him for reasons you will never understand but she doesn’t deserve to lose him. You know what it feels like. It’s not fair. And you feel guilty and it’s heavy and you hate you fought Jason, too. Every piece of today lays heavy on your chest and all you want to do is run out of Gotham. You don’t want to deal with any of it. But that’s not an option so you move forward, opening the door and entering the manor.

On top of the guilt over Jason, you also know you can't tell any of them what you found out. If you tell them, they'll know he's working with Crane. Jason didn't even want you to know and he even looked worried when you did figure it out. What if them knowing Crane is the partner puts Jason's life at risk? What if Crane has more than Jason on the outside? If you tell them, what if it gets him killed? And then it's your fault. Maybe it's wrong to keep it from the Titans, but you don't want to risk him getting killed again. Not if you don't have to and maybe, just maybe, Jason will change his mind last minute. You hope against hope, he will change his mind.

You head to the Batcave, not seeing any Titans around the manor. When you reach the cave, you see everyone around Hank looking worried. This is the moment for you where you know you’ll need to pick a side. If Jason goes through with this, you can’t sit in the middle and hope for the best. You’ll need to choose who you're working with. And at this point, you aren’t sure you want to work with any of them.

“You're okay!” Gar chimes as he spots you coming into view.

Your brows furrow. “Uh…yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” You ask, looking around the room as the Titans put their eyes on you.

“Well…I mean…Hank.” Gar gestures and moves slightly, giving you a better view of Hank lying in a bed with the bomb on full display. “You also have a cut on your head and a bruise on your cheek.” Gar gestures a finger, mirroring where the bruise sits.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” You shake it off, finishing your walk to the Titans.

The Titans turn to look at you and suddenly, you feel like a spotlight has just found you in the middle of a hidden forest after committing mass murder. Dick looks disappointed which you think might actually be worse than him just being mad. Same with Kory. Conner looks confused. But Hank and Dawn look pissed and you don’t so much blame them. If you were Dawn and Hank were Jason, you’d be pissed, too. But it does make you stop in your tracks.

“Oh, now you’re gonna show your face around here!?” Hank yells.

“Uh…I-I…live…here?” You question but the manor hasn't really felt like home since Jason died anyway.

“And I have a fucking bomb in my chest!” Hank yells. “You were there!”

“We know you and Jason are close, but you have to see this isn’t right.” Dawn crosses her arms.

You blink at them and suddenly you're back at the tower. Suddenly, you're in Jason’s shoes. You never understood where their issue was with him then and you never ever got to understand. But, you tried. You tried to rationalize why Jason. Why did they pick him to target? Rachel was the good kid and Jason was the troublemaker. Jason was an asshole. Maybe. But you're looking at the two of them with a cut on your forehead and bruised knuckles, knowing you passed out and you're being blamed for something you didn’t even do. It was never Jason. It was always just someone to blame.

“W-what?” You ask as you feel the lump grow in your throat.

“Hank said he saw you there.” Kory explains.

“Why were you there?” Dick asks, his voice sterner than Kory but he wants to believe Sam didn't have anything to do with this.

It's actually breaking a part of you with everyone looking at you like that. They're pointing the finger at you and it hurts. You're supposed to trust them but they didn't even ask. You were passed out on the fucking floor and Hank assumes you took a nap, apparently, and they all just believe that. You might side with Jason but they can't really believe you would help him put a bomb in Hank's chest or even let him do it.

“I…I…I can’t….I can’t tell you.” You sputter as you shake your head. “But I didn’t know that’s what he was doing. You-you have to believe me.” You croak out as your eyes start to turn glassy.

“Just like we should believe you didn’t know he was alive?” Hank barks.

“You need to calm down.” Dawn whispers to him.

“Fuck that shit! She’s in on this! I bet he sent her here to make sure I die!”

“You guys can’t really believe she would do that, right?” Gar finally pipes up. He remembers what happened with Jason and he knows you're always on the edge of something terrible. He doesn’t want that edge to become literal.

“Why else would she have been there?” Dawn asks.

"Does it matter?" Gar asks but he keeps his voice soft and gentle because he still hates arguing. "She's hurt and that should mean something, right? You guys didn't ask, just jumped to conclusions." Gar's voice starts to go quiet. "Like with Jason."

You snap your attention to him as Gar's stare goes to the floor. Your heart breaks for him but you owe him for trying to defend you. You know how much he hates it. And you think maybe you'll tell him because he deserves it.

"It all seems real fucking convenient doesn't it?" Hank barks back, not falling for Gar siding with you. "It was all a set-up!"

“I went to fucking confront him.” You scoff but it comes out weak. “Are we really doing this? I didn’t fucking know about the fucking bomb or that Hank was even going to be there.”

“Bullshit! I said I’d kill him. I bet you tipped him off and that’s why this happened.” Hank gestures aggressively to his chest.

You grit your teeth as you look desperately to Dick before looking back to Hank. “Fuck you.” You sniffle. “You know what, fine. You wanna know what happened? I went to confront him high as fuck and I saw you. We fucking fought because while high, I knew I couldn’t let him kill you because he wouldn’t let me kill Jerry and I knew it’d piss him off.”

“Wow.” Kory huffs softly as she looks to the ground, placing a hand on her hip. But, she looks up quickly at you. "Wait, you were high?" Kory asks with confusion.

Your eyes glance to Gar and then Dick before landing on Kory. "I'm tired of feeling like this." Desperation coats your words. The comedown sucked and being angry also sucked, but maybe Jason's right. Maybe that is better than feeling like this and scared and paranoid. Maybe he's right. “Look, we fucking fought, I passed out and I came back here when I came to. So, fuck you." You look back to Hank.”

“Right, but you’re killing—“ Dawn tries to argue.

“Critiera. I have a criteria and Hank doesn’t fucking meet it. I can’t let my personal bias come in the fucking way." You turn your attention back to Hank. "You don’t meet it. You don’t deserve to fucking die even though you’re a piece of fucking shit who doesn’t learn from his mistakes.” You bark. “You figure out the bomb yet?” You look to Dick.

“No, just that it’s counting down his heartbeats.” Dick answers plainly.

“Wayne Enterprises.” You state. “I saw the blueprints before I passed out. Bet if you look into it, you can find a way to build a deactivator or whatever.” You look back to Hank. “I hope you live so Jason doesn’t have to deal with the guilt. And I did tell him you were gonna kill him…. after he had the bomb in your chest. Let me know if dies, I guess.” You scoff as you turn around and start to head out of the Batcave.

Gar looks at all of the Titans and he doesn't like seeing his friends targeted. He knows that Hank was just targeted by his best friend but you didn't do anything. It's not your fault what Jason does. You don't control him and Gar thinks it's wrong for them to attack you for it. So, he follows you up to the main living room.

You suck in a deep breath as your hands shake at your sides. Dick, Kory, and Conner didn't accuse you of anything but they weren't really on your side either. And it feels like you're being abandoned and you're reminded why you always left first. It was so much easier than feeling like this. It doesn't hurt when you're the one that leaves. It doesn't hurt like this. So, your fists ball at your sides as your nails dig into your palms and your jaw clenches. All you want is to go back to before and pause time. Why is that so much to ask for?

"Are you okay?" Gar asks quietly from behind you.

You hang your head and at least you have Gar. He might not always get it but he at least tries to. And you really hope, after all of this, you don't lose him either. You want to tell him but then you'd put him in the middle. You're standing in the middle of it all right now and it is absolute hell. You can't put that on Gar. But, you can vent and you say a little bit of what happened so you turn around to face him with the shake of your head.

"No! I had to fucking fight Jason because of fucking Hank!" You scrunch your nose in disgust. "That's fucking stupid! And I can't even fucking say how the hell that shit happened or what happened because I am terrified if I tell anyone knew what the fuck I know it could get him killed." You pause as you watch Gar's face soften. "But, he put a bomb in Hank's chest and he's an ass but he doesn't deserve to die." You suck in a ragged breath. "So, I fought him and we were both fucking high and we said some really horrible shit to each other and I have no idea how we're supposed to come back from that or how he's ever going to forgive me."

Gar nods with understanding and he really wishes he knew what was going on. "What did you guys say to each other?"

"I asked him where Rose was and, uh, maybe that's why she left him...to protect herself because takes low blows. He said I was using him, we were a mistake, I made him worse. Just... we both said a to."

Gar shakes his head, trying to process what he's being told. That doesn't sound like either of you. "Why would you guys even say that stuff to each other? I mean...Jason could be an asshole but he didn't say that kind to stuff to you."

"Yeah," You nod. "The, uh, the drug. It's the one he made and uh...it's not a normal drug like...it, uh, it makes people do things I think that they wouldn't normally. I think that's why Hank has a bomb in his chest. It's why we fought, too." You confess, figuring maybe that's enough of an explanation to clue Gar in a little bit but not too much that he immediately goes to Dick.

But Gar is just growing more confused. The two of you have talked about addiction before. You had stories like the one time with your dad and your dad being an addict. But, you talked about other kids on the streets. Gar kind of thought maybe everything that happened to you made you never want to take anything but now you're out here not only taking a drug but making it. Just like Jason. None of it makes sense.

"Why would you take it?"

"I can't tell you." You mutter as you hang your head. "I won't again, promise. It was for science." You suck in a breath as Gar scrunches his face in more confusion. "But...I know if we can get him off of it, we'll get him back."

"So, the Jason we know is still there?" Gar asks with hope in his eyes.

"Yeah, as if you really lost faith in him anyway." You manage a weak laugh earning you a soft smile from Gar.

"I have to believe he's in there somewhere. Even if no one else but you does." Gar nods his head softly.

"Yeah," You suck in a breath. "I know it's weird to think, now, I guess but...if we get him back...how do we come back from that?" You ask as you furrow your brows. "I mean, what we said, what he thinks of me." You watch Gar's brows furrow. "I think his partner is manipulating him and using Jason's trust in me against him. Just...based on what he said." You shake your head. "It's nothing but...ya know? Fought each other."

"Well, everyone tried to kill me once and we're all okay now." Gar tries to chuckle softly. "If the drug is what you say it is, maybe that's the end of it. We all know that's not really Jason. He would never hurt you, on accident or on purpose. And you wouldn't either. Maybe you guys just talk. You always got Jason to." Gar offers a soft smile.

"Yeah," You smile weakly. "I guess that's true."

"I'm sorry you guys fought though." Gar offers a sympathetic look just as Dick comes rushing through the clock, coming to a dead stop as he sees you both.

You readjust your stance as you look to the floor.

Dick lets out a sigh and he does not have time for this but he has to ask. "Did you know?" 

You shake your head as your eyes meet his. "I fucking swear I didn't. I would have called you."

Dick nods and he believes you. He doesn't agree with your morals but killing Hank seems a little off even for you. Even when it comes to Jason. When you explained your criteria to him, it seemed to matter enough to you. You mentioned it downstairs. You're not lying.

"Okay. You guys go back to the Cave once Dawn and Kory have Hank in a room. Help Conner if you can and just stay away from Hank." Dick goes to walk away but then stops, looking back at you. "Did you find anything out?"

You nod hesitantly. "I, uh, I don't think it'd help with Hank though. If I thought so I'd tell you."

"Alright." Dick lets out a sigh before he heads off.

"Well," You clear your throat. "That fucking sucks." You state as you can hear Kory, Dawn, and Hank coming from the Batcave. "I'm gonna grab something from my room and I'll meet you downstairs." You offer a soft nod to Gar before you head down the hallway.

As the next three hours go by, Dawn takes off to steal the gold bars and give them to Jason. Dick goes after Dawn to try to stop her. Kory doesn't have any more answers about who brought Jason back from the dead which is a relief on your end. But, Connor still doesn't have the deactivor ready. It has to reach a 0% failure rate and he hasn't gotten that far yet.

You really hoped Jason would back out of it or he was just trying to get under the Titans' skin and none of it was real. But, as Hank's heartbeats dwindle down, you're starting to think he's really going to go through with this. He'll kill Hank and he can't just come back from that like he can with everything else. No one is going to care if Crane had him do it or not. It won't matter because Hank is a Titan. And you wonder what you're supposed to do.

If everything that happened today doesn't snap some sense into him, nothing you say or do will. It'll be up to Jason or the Titans to get him to stop taking the drug. Those will be the options. And you think maybe your only option will be to tell Dick everything you know. If anyone is going to know what to do, especially dealing with Jonathan Crane, it's going to be Dick. Maybe Crane will believe Dick figured it out on his own anyway. If Jason kills Hank, you don't think you can stand on his side anymore. It's the last thing you want to do but if he's willing to kill Hank, who knows what else he's willing to do and who else he's willing to kill. He will need to be stopped and you can't do it alone.

With only a few minutes left, Gar and you are seated watching Connor and the screen intently while you all have Dick on the comms. He found Dawn and she's with Jason. Jason tells Dawn all she has to do is shoot him and it'll save Hank. But, Dick is trying to convince her not to do it because Connor is almost there.

It comes down to just seconds when Connor finally gets the failure rate to 0%. He uses superspeed to rush through the manor while Gar and you get to your feet to watch on the monitor to Hank's room. But, just before Connor gets there, there's a thunder through the manor and the cameras go dead.

Gar and you keep your eyes on the screen as Kory runs up behind you both and pulls you both into a hug. Jason just killed Hank in cold blood. What are any of you even supposed to do now?

That night, no one has much to say. Dick informed everyone what actually happened. Jason set Dawn up so when she pulled the trigger, it detonated the bomb. It's uncomfortable listening to it.  You listen but the only thing you really hear is that Jason just put Dawn through when you went through when Jason died. He knew what it did to you and then Jason still went and decided Dawn should deal with that pain and the guilt of it really being her fault. You're appalled and disgusted even though you know it's not really him. You just find yourself in a state of disbelief and fury. How could he do that to someone? After everything?

You were high and while you know, maybe you would have helped, you find it hard to believe you would. The drug is powerful and all-consuming but it was Jason's choice to take it. It was Jason's choice to go to Crane for help. It was all his choice. He had a choice here. And it lead him to kill Hank and put his blood on Dawn's hands. Crane might be manipulating him but between him and the drug, Jason is turning into a shell of someone you used to know and you're thinking you don't want to know this version of him. And you think about the pit and maybe that's why it's so easy for Jason to bypass every moral he's ever had. Maybe the pit did take a part of his soul that day and that's just making it easier for Crane to turn him into this. Maybe this is who he is now.

And because of that, you know you have no other choice but to go to Dick.

You love Jason more than anything on the planet but that wasn't enough for him and maybe it's not enough for you either. You love the Titans, too and he's killing Hank and putting it on Dawn, maybe he is going to pick you all off one by one. You aren't going to sit here and watch it happen. You're not going to let him do it.

"Hey." Gar says quietly as he walks into the Batcave where you're staring, looking at the Robin suit.

"Hey, how you holding up?" You look back to him with sympathy. Gar was friends with Hank.

"Uh...ya know." Gar shrugs, standing beside you. "Sucks." Gar lets out a breath, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah." You answer shortly. "I'm sorry, Gar."

"It's not your fault." Gar lets out a sigh, looking to the ground and back to the suit. Bruce didn't get all of the blood out of it. There are still blotches of blood covering the R blade and the torso. He's tired of losing people, too. "What's wrong?" Gar asks, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. "You only look at the suits when you're thinking." Gar glances to you but you keep your eyes on the bloodstains.

You shake your head. "He killed Hank by making Dawn pull the trigger. That's kind of fucked...so," You shrug your shoulders. "Guess I'm just...I'm gonna have to come clean to Dick and throw Jason under the bus which also sucks." The words stick to your tongue like shards of glass.

Gar shakes his head quickly, knitting his brows together as he snaps his attention to you. "What do you mean? You said you'd always be on his side."

One of the things that kept Gar hopeful was that you were at least still on Jason's side. As long as you believed in him, Gar knew Jason had to still be there. But, if you're willing to throw in the towel after everything, that means that's it. It can't be it.

"He killed Hank." You look at Gar as you shrug. "He can't just kill innocent people."

"Yeah but..." Gar pauses, trying to figure out how he's going to argue with that. He agrees but if you give up, who does Jason have? Maybe he still needs someone in his corner. "You said he's still there. We just have to get through to him."

"Yeah, and then he did this. I begged him not to and that wasn't enough to get through to him." You argue. "So, I give up." 

Gar doesn't get it. You're the one person who's always on Jason's side. He knows this is fucked up. But he still believes his best friend is in there somewhere. Someone like Jason doesn't just go bad. They lived down the hall from each other and Gar knows him, too. Jason Todd is in there someone and he has to believe that. But you don't and it hurts. How can you give up?

"You love him. You can't...you can't really be giving up on him." Gar stutters as his heart breaks. "You always said you wouldn't and...I don't know. I get it but..." Gar shakes his head.

Gar's words strike a nerve. It's hard enough. It's not that you're giving up because you're not. You're going to Dick and that is to get him back. You can't do it on your own and you can't keep Jason's secrets for him anymore. It's not helping him, you, or the Titans. All it's doing is getting everyone else hurt or killed. You aren't giving up entirely but the idea that you shouldn't just because you love him pisses you off because it wasn't enough for Jason.

He gave up on you long before you ever had the chance to give up on him.

"Yeah—" You bite down, crunching your teeth together so hard you swear your teeth are going to shatter through your lips. "What if loving him isn't fucking enough, Gar!? Cause it sure as shit wasn't enough for him."

It wasn't enough to keep him here with you. It wasn't enough to keep him on solid ground. You know you will never be the same as Bruce or Dick. Their approval meant something different to him and that is fine. You accept that. But you don't know how your love for him wasn't enough to keep him at least trying to be safe. At least trying to just exist. You want to know why your love for him wasn't enough for him to consider your feelings. You want to know why love just wasn't enough. It should have been but it wasn't. It was always enough for you to not give up even when you wanted to. So, why the fuck wasn't it enough for him?

"I know you can't believe that. It's always been you and him." Gar shakes his head. "He's going through some shit. I don't think that's what it was. You said it was his partner and the drug. We just have to get him off it and away from them."

"Yeah, but..." Sam's bottom lip starts to quiver. "But why wasn't me loving him enough?" Her words break and tears leak from her eyes like a warm down faucet. Steady drops of broken. "Why wasn't my love for him enough?" You pause as you take a deep breath. "He did all of this!" You throw your hands out. "Without me. Without ever telling me shit and we were supposed to be a fucking team. Me loving him isn't fucking enough and it wasn't enough for him to fucking stay alive or say goodbye or come home when he had the chance."

Gar hangs his head and he wishes he had an answer but he doesn't. "I don't know but Jason has always been Jason." Gar's voice is quiet. "Maybe it was enough for him but he has more going on. I think you know why it wasn't enough but you don't want to admit it." Gar snips slightly. "You always knew whatever he was thinking and he did with you. That's why you know how to get him back!" Gar protests. "It's why Dick hasn't been fighting you and why Kory hasn't. We know that you can get him back and it sucks that you have to deal with it. But, it's Jason." Gart shakes his head. "We just have to get him away from his partner and the drug. We can get him back."

You look back to the suit because you know he's right. It's not fair to stand here and point a finger saying he doesn't love you enough. You know it's ridiculous but you're hurt and you want the blame off of your own shoulders. But, deep down you already think you know why it feels the way it does.

Things get good and it's a lot easier to run away from them and hurt them first before they ever have the chance to hurt you. Maybe that is what it boils down to. Jason got traumatized and doesn't know how to handle his problems. Bruce made him feel like Robin was the only thing he'd ever be good at and he was nothing without that mantle. So, it gets taken away and Jason's back to being that kid on the streets with nothing but a list of people who throw in the towel when things get a little too hard. Maybe he did it to protect you sure, but maybe it was also easier keeping you in the dark so you'd leave if you were going to anyway. He did what he always does. This time though, it's more than pushing one person away. It was desperation to be better, to heal his own mental illness by taking a shortcut and sacrificing pieces of himself. It's not about you, you were just collateral damage and you know that. And you aren't sure that makes it any better.

"I have been trying desperately to get through to him and it doesn't fucking work. He's stubborn as all fucking hell and he's really digging his feet in and I think he's doing on purpose. Jason Todd was always really good at self-destruction so maybe we fucking let him. Maybe we just let him blow himself up and see where that gets him. Maybe he needs to hit fucking rock bottom where his partner turns on him. Maybe he needs it. If me begging him and fighting him isn't enough, then he's on his own. I can't bail him out of this one."

"I don't want you to regret it though." Gar shakes his head. "And I don't want to lose him. Just yesterday you were the one that said you were scared to tell Dick in case it got him killed." Gar nearly pleads with you.

"I know but I am also worried that he's going to pick you guys off one by one. And..." You shake your head. "That's not fair to you guys. I am scared he's going to get himself killed but I can't just...watch him do this shit and not do anything. We're supposed to protect people." You urge. "We are supposed to protect people and right now, the Titans are the ones who need to be protected from him. Jason needs help, too but I don't know what else to do unless you have a better idea. You know Dick doesn't want him dead."

"It sucks, okay? All of this sucks!" Gar yells. "Losing Hank, Rachel is off trying to bring Donna back and I don't even know if she can do that, Donna is dead. Dawn is leaving forever. Jason is losing his mind and now you're giving up! This sucks! We're supposed to be a team and we're supposed to help each other. But, now Jason is killing Hank and everyone else wants to go after Jason. And now you want to help! I don't want to lose more of you guys. You guys are the only family I have." Gar's voice grows defeated and he didn't think being a Titan would look like this.

You pause for a few seconds and Gar never yells. "You know I wouldn't do anything involving Jason without thinking it through. Dick will know what to do and I'll make him promise not to kill him. We go after Jason to get to his partner. We get the partner and we get Jason. I have a plan."

"You do?" Gar asks cautiously, unsure if you're just saying it to make him feel better.

"Of course, I do." You huff. "I didn't sleep. I was thinking. Dick is not going to like my plan and neither are you. But I have a plan. You guys are my only family, plus Molly, I get it. Fuck Hank, ya know? But he was one of the Titans." You shake your head. "I give up on bailing him out of this shit but I'm not giving up on trying to help." You suck in a breath. "He wouldn't if it were me."

"Yeah, true." Gar nods softly. "So, you're just...going to tell Dick about the drug and his partner?" Gar asks.

"Yep." You nod. "That is going to be a fun conversation." You roll your eyes. "Wonder if he'll lecture me then or later about the drug." You offer a soft smile to Gar who just glares. "Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. It was dumb." You mock. 

"Yeah, seriously, please don't go do that again." Gar states softly.

"Of course, not. We see where that leads us." You widen your eyes, looking back to the suit. 

"Right." Gar nods slowly before taking in a deep breath. "I'm...I'm gonna make a pizza, do you wanna help?" Gar asks.

"Uh, I'm okay. I'm just gonna wait for Dick to get back. Rip the band-aid off type of deal."

Gar nods softly. "Let me know how it goes." Gar smiles softly before he heads out of the Batcave.

You sit on the front steps of the manor, waiting for Dick to get home from taking Dawn to the airport. You run through a whole speech to give to Dick. There is still that fear that if you tell Dick about Crane, maybe Crane will snap and think Jason turned on him and he'll have him killed. Crane is completely insane and that could happen. But, you know it's the right thing to do anyway. It might feel like a betrayal and it is. But, you have to do it. You just hope that when Jason finds out you went to Dick, one day he'll understand. Maybe when he's sober he'll understand. Jason can be really understanding and forgiving. You beg he'll understand one day.

The black car pulls right up to the manor and Dick spots you as you straighten your posture. He shuts the car off and sucks in a deep breath. You sitting on the front steps, seemingly waiting for him, seems like it's going to be bad news. Anytime you want to talk to him, it's usually something not good. Dick lets out a sigh, hanging his head for a second before pulling the keys from the ignition and exiting the vehicle. He walks up to the front steps, looking down at you as you offer him a nervous grin.

"Hey." You state cautiously.

"What's going on?" Dick asks.

You clear your throat as you get to your feet. "If I tell you who Jason is working with and what the drug does....can you promise me something?" You ask as Dick's eyes widen slightly.

Of all people, he didn't ever really expect you to come clean with anything.

"What is it?" Dick asks.

"Um...can you promise you won't kill him and that Kory and Conner won't either?" You ask as you tug your sleeves over your hands. "I know, okay? I know what he just did was fucking fucked, okay? I know. But...it's not...it's not really all him and I just...he's your brother and you took me in. And I...I don't..." You shake your head. "I can't lose him again, okay? So, you gotta promise you guys won't kill him and that we'll do everything in the world to make sure this shit doesn't get him killed again, okay? That's the only way I can tell you anything."

"I don't want to kill him." Dick's words are stern. "He just killed Hank." Dick pauses and he sees your eyes water and your weight shift between your feet. Jason was Dick's responsibility and some of this is still on Dick. "Okay." Dick nods. "I won't kill him and I'll talk to Kory."

That's all you needed to start talking. All you needed was the confirmation that they're going to make sure Jason doesn't die again. Jason still deserves a chance here. Everything is a mess and he's really messed up big time but that doesn't mean he shouldn't get a chance at something better. And at the end of it all, you still think Jason deserves his chance at being happy and safe and healthy. He just needs to get through this shit.

"Okay." You say hesitantly. "Um...so, you know Jason likes to play games." You states. "Well, the formula, the reason you didn't know what it was, it was coded. It was just a game. I think he expected you to find it." You explain. "But, then you gave it to me and I brought to a friend of mine who's a genius and he helped me crack it."

"He coded the damn formula and you figured it out?" Dick questions.

"Yes, he did and no, Tim did which by the way," You laugh softly. "Good luck with that one. He knows you're Nightwing, Robin 1.0. Jason was Robin 2.0. I'm Bluejay and Bruce is Batman. I denied it but he's got research on all of us and the Titans. He knows. So, good luck with that, dumbass."

Dick blinks at you for a second. He was so careful, how could someone figure out who he is? Bruce was even more careful than he was. No one has ever figured it out and now you suddenly know someone who knows? How did that even happen? Dick really does not have time for this.

"What? How does he know?" Dick almost demands.

"Yeah, uh, you can perform a trapeze trick that only you and your dad could perform. Nightwing also performs that same trick. Like I said, figure out you're Robin and the other pieces just come together." You shrug. "Which is how he figured the rest of us out. So, good job. I denied it of course but let me tell you, he's a genius and he definitely isn't going to let it rest. We used to guess who Robin and Batman were. He had theories and so did I. So, good luck dealing with that."

"Great." Dick scoffs. Dick can't help but think coming back to Gotham might have been a little bit of a bad idea. How he is stuck dealing with all of this at the same time? Can't he just catch a break? "Continue."

"Right, so he cracked it for me and it's fear. So, naturally, I go to his lab and make the drug and I take it."

Dick lets out a sigh as he looks to the ground. "I can't believe you went and made and then took Jason's drug. What if it were a setup?" Dick places a hand on his hip and you almost laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't do drugs and that's bad science. Lecture me later. That's not the point of this." You scrunch your nose. "Well, I didn't feel scared or paranoid or worried. I didn't feel much of anything besides anger. That was still there. So, Jason made a drug that cures fear."

Dick watches you carefully and he only knows one person that could make a drug that could cure fear. "You've got to be kidding me." Dick holds the bridge of his nose. "Jonathan Crane." Dick scoffs. "He's working with Jonathan Crane?" Dick nearly starts yelling.

"Yep." You roll your eyes. "So I confronted him. That's when I found Hank and I yelled at him and questioned why he'd work with Crane. He said Crane helped him and made him better, that Crane actually cares about him unlike you, Bruce, and me. So, he's been working with Crane and making an anti-fear drug and Crane is manipulating him and doing a damn good job." You explain. "He was high the day he went after the Joker. It's what got him killed. I think Crane probably planned for it. Expected Jason to die that night and the only one not in the loop was Jason."

"So, Crane could use the excuse of him bringing Jason back." Dick finishes. "Why would Jason go to Crane in the first place?" Dick asks and for the life of him, he can't figure out what would lead Jason to Crane.

Jason has always been troubled and had his issues but this just seems crazy. Jason knows the risks of Jonathan Crane, Dick does. At least Jason going after the Joker finally makes sense. Dick knows Jason wasn't that reckless but working with Crane?

"He was freezing on patrol. Getting hurt all the time. Nightmares, shaking hands. His leg pain was still there. Bruce took Robin away. Dick, it was bad for him. Like...really fucking bad. I guess he was desperate enough. I had no idea he was doing this shit. I was ready to call you and come back, with him."

Dick pauses for a few seconds as he starts to think and he knows why Crane has been so helpful now. It's to put the entire target on Jason and keep Crane out of the limelight until the time is right. It's how Crane always functioned and Jason and Dick fell right into the trap.

"Okay, so, why did he target Hank and not you? You know. You took his drug. Crane is going want to seclude him from everyone that cares about him. That's not Hank, that's you." Dick points out and he's also trying to make sure you're really coming clean. At the end of the day, you've been the one on Jason's side and it's hard for Dick to believe you're just turning over a new leaf over Hank Hall.

"Oh, have no fear, Dickolas, thought of that, too." You state. "Hank was enough to set the Titans off. Piss everyone off and target Jason entirely, leaves Crane out of it. As for me, though, I think Jason still has a line and I'm the line. I threw the first punch yesterday, not him. We both know if Jason didn't pull his punches, I'd have more than a few bruises. But, I think Crane is trying to turn him against me, too. Like you said, seclude him."

"What did he say?" Dick asks.

"Um...that I liked him better before? That Crane was right about me. Whatever the fuck that means. He also said I was using him?" You roll your eyes. "I think Crane is trying but there's a part of Jason that knows it's bullshit."

"Right, okay." Dick nods. "So, how does the drug work? If he can refrain from hurting you, couldn't he refrain from killing Hank?"

"I don't think it works like that. He asked me if I wanted to help and I almost did because I was already mad at Hank. I would never do that otherwise. It's like the only thing you want to do is hurt someone else because it's thrilling. You don't feel much of anything but anger when something sets you off. And it can be something small that sends you into a rage, it did for me. I'm thinking it works the same for Jason. I didn't care that I was hurting him or that we were fighting. I didn't care. I didn't even care that he was gonna kill Hank. But, I still didn't want to hurt him. There was something that still kept me from actually physically hurting him. I could have but I didn't. I think he has some restraint but I think if Crane picks at those parts of him, he'll crack."

"It's the exact opposite of the fear gas while still letting Crane reap the benefits." Dick lets out a scoff, almost mad at himself he didn't figure it out sooner. "Jason said Crane was right about you." Dick states. "Did Jason tell him about all of us?"

"I don't know. We didn't really talk about it but I'm guessing he did. I'm not sure what else he would mean by Crane being right about us."

"That's why Crane is helping him. Jason gets the cure to fear and Crane gets information on all of us and Bruce." Dick shakes his head. "It's a mutual benefit." Dick scoffs and he's growing more mad at Jason for going to Crane in the first place. If Jason wanted to fuck up his life, that's on him but now he's dragged everyone else down with him. And for what?

"Yep." You nod your head. "Look, Crane is gonna lose it eventually, it's what he does. We gotta get to Jason before that happens. I don't know how to do that alone. It's one of the reasons I'm telling you."

"I'm guessing you have an idea though."

"Well, if we break into Arkham and kill Crane..."

"No." Dick states. "We're not going to kill him."

"But, literally all of our problems would be solved if you let me do it." You nod. "Like, ya know, in and out. Boom, dead. Jason comes back home. It's a win."

"We're not killing people." Dick states. "Besides, we'll need Jason first. If he's as far gone as it sounds, he'll think we're doing it to spite him and then what? We need to know what Crane has planned. The last time Crane was up to something, he had the entire system rigged with his fear gas. If you go and kill him before we know the plan, he could release the new drug and then what happens?"

You narrow your eyes but nod. "Yeah, that's true. I didn't think of that. So, what do we do then?" 

"Well, I'll need to get to Crane." Dick states.

"We." You correct him as you cross your arms. "You're not gonna do this alone. It involves Jason so you involve me. If not, any new information I get, I keep to myself."

Dick doesn't want you involved. None of this should even be the Titans business. This should remain between him and Jason. Based on everything Crane has already told Dick, putting this on Jason, it does seem as though Dick is supposed to be Jason's target somewhere down the line. It's supposed to be between them. But, you've lodged yourself in the middle of it and he remembers San Francisco.

"Fine, but you do what I say." Dick warns.

"Deal." You mock him with wide eyes.

Just then Dick gets a phone call from Babs. Apparently, there was a targeted attack on Crane last night in Arkham by Red Hood. For his own safety, he's being transferred today to Blackgate. And Dick thinks you don't have to break him out. He'll already be accessible.

"Go get your suit. I have a plan." Dick states as he turns back towards the car.

"Uh...yeah, okay?" You question quickly before you spin around and dart into the manor before Dick can change his mind.

Dick and you head off to Arkham Asylum as you wait for Crane to be transferred. On the way, Dick clued you in on what was going on and what Babs told him. Dick's new plan is actually to kidnap Crane and hold him hostage. You and Dick are going to lure Jason out to the cabin where some of their Robin training took place. It's secluded, away from everyone else who could get hurt and Jason will know exactly where to go. Dick knows those woods like the back of his hand. It's an even playing field for the two of them. And you're thrilled.

You have yet to meet Crane face to face but you already hate him. You hate what he did to the city even if you admire the creativity of a fear gas. But, he's insane and you've got a real problem with anyone who turns other innocent people into monsters, especially by using their own pain against them. It's exactly what he's been doing to Jason. Holding Crane hostage, might be fun for you. And at the end of this, maybe it'll work and you'll get Jason back. But, you're trying not to bank on that. The plans don't always seem to go as planned.

The two of you watch as the guards bring out Crane and that's when Dick gives you the all-clear. The two of you head off towards the transport van, sneaking around pillars and other cars to remain undetected. Dick is the first to make the move and grab the guard near the driver's side of the van. You then go after the one coming from the back of them. Dick and you both knock the two men unconscious and leave them on the ground before heading to the back of the van.

Dick takes down the last guard before he opens the back of the van to reveal Jonathan Crane looking somewhere between confused and worried. Your fists ball at your sides as your teeth grit and he's definitely made his way to the top of your list.

"Let's go." Dick states turning around and walking away.

You glare at him for a few more seconds and you debate for just a split second on shooting acid at him or throwing a knife. One swift move and it'd be over for him. It would be over for Jason. But Dick is right. If he has something planned to poison the city, you need to know. So, you roll your eyes and turn around, following Dick to the car while Crane scurries out of the van to follow the two of you. 

Dick opens the passenger door for Crane while you get in the back. Crane offers you a displeased smile as you grimace at him. Dick gets back in the car, sending you a quick but warning glance before he starts the car again.

The drive is quiet at first, Dick and you wanting to not say a word to Crane or each other with him in the car. Instead, Dick focuses on just getting you all to the cabin and how he'll handle the aftermath of everything. You, on the other hand, think about how mad Jason is going to be when he finds out you're here. It's going to be another problem to sort out but he'll understand later because he has to. And you focus all of your anger and worry on Crane. The hit was on purpose so Jason could break him out which means some part of their plan is coming together and you focus your anger on that. It's a lot easier to be angry with Crane than worry about Jason and how this plan could go south.

After awhile though, apparently, Crane gets tired of the quiet.

"I'm an Alfa man myself. Those Italians, those lines, that flair...the sprezzatura. It's a term. It means the art of making something complicated look easy. Like that trail of bodies you guys left back there. You didn't even break a sweat, did you? Like old pros. See, now that is sprezzatura." Crane states with ease but he pauses for a second, looking over to Dick and spotting a gun. "Look, I don't need to worry about that piece you nicked from the B.O.P. back there, do I? I mean you wouldn't shoot a bound and defenseless man now, would you?"

"Depends." Dick keeps his eyes on the road, offering Crane no emotion.

"I would." You state with enthusiasm from the backseat.

Crane looks back at you with a slight scowl. "That is not very nice."

"I'm not nice." You quip with a chortle.

"So, just bad cop and bad cop, huh?" Crane asks but all he gets is a shrug and an eyebrow raise from you. "Are you his little sidekick?"

"No." You scoff. "Shut the fuck up before I make you."

Dick glances in the mirror, giving you another warning look. You mock the look right back.

"She is a feisty one, isn't she?" Crane looks at Dick.

"Shut up." Dick groans.

Jason saw you with Dick as you left Arkham. That little voice is the back of head that Crane has triggered gets a little bit louder. Of all people, you're going to work with Dick. He's told you to stay out of it but you won't. You know Jason is going to go after Dick and yet here you are, kidnapping his new mentor who actually cares about him with Dick. With his older brother. The original Robin. That's when Jason is piecing together maybe you have ditched your loyalty to him and moved with the Titans. You swore you wouldn't and he is ready to explode.

Jason: teaming up with Dick now?

He doesn't know why he texts it. He doesn't know exactly why he's going to bother because you'll lie to him anyway. You always swore you wouldn't but he knows if you are working with him, you'll lie to him. But, there's something inside of him that has to ask you anyway. He wants to know why. You hated Hank, too. And in that moment of being high, you understood it. That can't be the only reason you'd suddenly be on Dick's side. You're never on his side.

You: no.

Jason nearly groans out loud with the simple response.

Jason: why are you with him then? kidnapping crane?

You: involves you, Dick is pissed about Hank just making sure you don't kill each other

Jason doesn't buy it. It is never as simple as making sure people get along with you. That was always Gar's job. If it were about making sure they don't kill each other, you'd have Gar. That's not it. Jason is starting to wonder if you're just going after Crane. Maybe Crane is your target and Jason is Dick's. Maybe you're in this together. You and Dick have to be.

You: maybe I want a shot Crane

Jason grins softly at his phone as he looks up the gloomy sky above Gotham. Jason isn't going to let you kill Crane and he's betting Dick won't either. Dick is smarter than that and he'll know there's a bigger plan and Crane won't give it up. But, he finds it amusing because maybe that is just your motive. It is a very you motive to have in order to tag along.

Jason: you won't kill him

You: lol that a bet?

Jason: I'm serious

You: So am I

Jason: be careful

You: you be careful

Jason: this is between us not you Jason: if you're there for Crane leave dick to me

He says it on purpose. Fine, if you want your shot at Crane, you can take it. Jason knows you won't do it. You didn't get to kill the Joker and you think Crane is bad for Jason and he's turning Jason into something he's not. Jason firmly believes you'd offer Jason the shot instead of taking it yourself. So, he says it on purpose just to see if you'll actually go after Crane or if you'll go against Jason and protect Dick. He says it just to see which side you're really on. If you protect Dick, he has his answer and Crane is right.

You: involves you so it does involve me and yeah that wasn't convincing. Don't kill him that's tragic just like I said in San Fran two Robins fighting 

Jason: stay out of it

You: don't fucking shoot me

Jason: how do you know I'll show up?

You: revenge on Dick, we have Crane, I'm here, you can't resist a good challenge

Jason: lol yeah

You put your phone back in your pocket and keep your conversation between you, just that. Crane doesn't need to know he texted you. That might be bad. But, you already have a feeling what Jason is doing. Ever since he came back, it's been about what side you're on. He's making you choose and while you're here with Dick, you're just trying to do what's in Jason's best interest. Despite your conversation with Gar, you aren't giving up. You aren't completely picking sides. If this blows up and Jason gets away, you can always keep to the story that you were just there to make sure they didn't kill each other. What Jason doesn't know, can't hurt him.

The speakers start ringing through the car as Dick glances to the screen. Dick's lets out a sigh before he tabs the answer button on the screen.

"Hello?" Dick states.

"Where are you, Dick?" Barbara asks.

"Change of plans." Dick states and you want to know how he's able to remain so emotionless.

"Bring Crane back." Barbara demands.

"I will." Dick states casually.

"I'd get that in writing if I were you." Crane states.

"Shut up!" You groan.

"You brought Y/n with you, seriously? And is that him listening?"

"I volunteered." You chime.

"Yo, Babs." Crane chimes back.

"Jesus, Dick. I need Crane back here right now."

Dick looks to Crane and he's definitely not bringing Crane back. "Gotta go." Dick states before he hangs up, earning a snort from you.

"She's gonna kill you." You chuckle.

"I overheard the police talking about what happened...to that Hawk fellow." Crane states.

Dick scrunches his face, taking a harsh turn around a corner, you grabbing the Oh Shit handle from the back.

"Red Hood is a monster. We've both got proof of that now. But I can still help you. You know, just let me know what I can do."

"You can shut up." Dick states. "Enjoy the sprezzatura."

You smile widely from the back seat. You like this version of Dick. It's more fun.

After a while longer in the car, you finally start to pull into the woods. You adjust yourself to look out of the window as Dick drives. He's driving through a clearing but it is surrounded by trees and overgrown grass. Sometimes, you forget the insanity Bruce put Jason and Dick through in order to let them be Robin but as you watch the trees grow thicker the further Dick drives, you remember. Jason didn't talk much about the cabin. The most he said was that it was brutal. Maybe a part of you doesn't want to know what he went through.

Dick finally stops the car outside of a chain that's chained to two posts, blocking off the rest of the path.

"Let me go." Crane states.

"Not gonna happen." Dick says.

Dick gets out of the car, leaving Crane and you. Dick unlocks the chain while Crane decides he's going to try and make a run for it. He glances back to you before quickly unlocking the door and bolting out of the car as quickly as he can with his hands still cuffed in front of him. You start laughing as you get out of the back of the car, resting your arm on the open door.

"Oh, so he's stupid, stupid?" You cackle as you look over to Dick.

"Guess so." Dick chuckles, jerking his head toward the woods. "Bruce has the place rigged. He has to know that." Dick says, amusement in his voice as you btoh start walking in the direction Crane ran.

"Yeah, that's what Jason said." You laugh softly. "Part of your training was to avoid them." You mock softly as you hear Crane yell from a few yards ahead of you. "So, Crane failed."

"Jason told you about this place?"

"Just that and that it was brutal. He told me about the other stuff, not really this." You suck in a breath, watching the leaves crunch beneath your shoes. 

The two of you find Crane strung up in a net in the trees. Dick sticks his hands in his pockets looking only mildly amused while you're on the verge of bursting into a fit of laughter. If it were up to you, you'd just leave him there and let the birds of prey get to him. A slow and painful death sounds perfect for him.

"You're supposed to be smart but you didn't think there would be a trap?" You question as you look up to Crane who just glares down at you.

"Are you done now?" Dick asks, looking up to Crane.

Crane scowls at you btoh. Dick goes to cut him down and offers no warning before Crane falls right to the ground. You start laughing as you watch Crane groan from the ground.

"I find that funny." You beam down at him.

"You're not pleasant." Crane glares back at you.

"I know." Sam shrugs cheerfully. "Neither are you." You widen your eyes to mock him.

"Get up." Dick grabs Crane by the arm, dragging him to his feet. "Are you having fun?" Dick asks you.

"Yes, yes I am." You basically skip as the three of you start walking.

"Ah, is this where you carve up your victims?" Crane asks after a few minutes of walking, Dick pushing him from the back.

"Just keep walking." Dick states.

"Dick wouldn't make a good Leatherface. He's too nice." You grin wildly back at Crane before you gain a pep in your step. You don't see it but Dick almost grins.

The three of you get to the cabin and Dick plops Crane in a chair at the table before he chains him to the table. You take a seat at a chair to the left of Crane, mostly so he's in hitting distance in case he tries something again.

"It's not what you think it is." Crane warns. "Look, I had nothing to with what happened to your friend. What's his name, Hawk?"

"You don't get to talk about him." Dick threatens.

"It was Red Hood who did it. The kid's a monster."

You grit your teeth as Crane speaks. Jason isn't a fucking monster. He was never a monster. He was never a poison. He was never bad. He was always just a victim of everything around him and you're sick of people making him out to be this horrible, no good, and irredeemable person because that is not Jason Todd. And it shouldn't ever be.

"Bullshit! You were the one that made Jason into a monster." Dick yells back and a part of you almost lets out a breath of relief because finally, someone else sees it. "The attack at Arkham was a phony. It wasn't a hit. It was just an excuse to get your ass out of Blackgate. Red Hood's your protege. And I know he's coming here to save you."

"You may be overestimating him."

"He'll come. He knows this place." Dick states. "Bruce took him here, too. It's where he trained us." Dick says before he opens one of the cabinets, revealing monitors with feeds to cameras around the property. "We'll see him coming a mile away."

It's as if every time you find something more about Bruce, the more you think he's insane. You're pretty sure he didn't really need that many monitors or need to throw kids into the woods to train them.

"So, why would he walk into a trap?" Crane asks.

"Because he can't help himself. Because you made him feel invincible. Because I brought her." Dick glances to you and you almost scoff. You're only here because you have information and the ability to continue to get information.

"You think I changed him? Oh, buddy, no. I got news for you. That kid came to me broken, okay? All I did was rebuild him. And it was easy, too after what you did to him in SF. And that Titans business, what a twisted mind-fuck. I kind of wish I'd actually thought of that myself." Crane looks to you. "And you're using another kid. How did that work out last time?"

"He's not using me you fucking prick. He didn't want me to come." You grit your teeth at him. "Jason was never fucking broken."

That's the thing that even Jason never got. He was never broken. He wasn't damaged goods and he wasn't a poison. He was just Jason Todd and he had his problems but he wasn't broken. He was hurt and there is a very big difference between being broken and damaged and just being hurt. He never needed to be fixed.

"You didn't fucking fix him. He never needed to be fucking fixed. You just made him worse and then convinced him he was fixed." You bite back.

"Oh, is that right? Tell me, why didn't he come to you? He's better now, isn't he? He told me all about you." Crane taunts in a way that is almost effortless.

"No, he's not better and I'm willing to bet he didn't." You suck in a breath, trying desperately not to let Crane win. But, you really were never good about maintaining your temper when it comes to people you love.

"Acid generation, held captive, tortured. Dick found you. All that SF stuff, you were there. Right with him. You couldn't save him then."

Dick almost expects you to finally snap. Jason told Crane about you and that should have been his line to never cross. You have done everything in your power not to cross the line to loop Dick in and Dick actually wants to help. But then you just start grinning because if that's all Crane knows then he doesn't know everything. Which means, Jason was always just trying to keep you at a distance from him. A part of him didn't trust Crane enough and you're hoping you can peck at that like Crane's been doing to every other part of Jason.

"Yeah, all true." You nod your head. "But, you're wrong about him. And you're wrong about Dick, too." You deflect, trying not to give away Jason hiding something from him.

Dick takes his chance to get the conversation away from you. You shouldn't be bullied by Crane and you might snap if Crane continues. "It's not true. Whatever Jason told you."

"Isn't it? Isn't that what you do to all the young people that you fail? Abandon them. Or kill them. How is that little witch girl, by the way?" Crane questions. "Or the mute boy. Oh." Crane scoffs. "You must be so sorry about all of that now."

Dick isn't going to play into Crane's hand, it's what he wants. "Time to eat." Dick tosses him an unopened can of food "Watch him. I'm gonna get some wood." Dick states as he puts on his coat and heads out.

You watch as Crane looks at the label and rolls his eyes. As far as you're concerned, he should be thankful Dick tossed him any type of food to begin with. You wouldn't be feeding him. But you admire Dick's ability to stay calm and not feed into Crane's bullshit.

On the way to Arkham to grab him, Dick gave you an entire run down of dos and don'ts. Your research into him is just what Bruce had but it's nothing compared to actually meeting him as he tries to get inside of everyone's heads. Dick made it clear that Crane would try to say anything to convince you to side with him. He warned you about him being charismatic and a master manipulator, even though that part was in Bruce's file. And while you're listening to him, you do wonder why Dick is so good at it or at least pretending to be good at it.

"So, whose side are you really on?" Crane asks. "I find it hard to believe you're really working with Dick here."

"I guess you'll find out, won't you? Or does it matter? I'm guessing you told Jason I wasn't on his side anyway." You lean back in your chair as you cross your arms.

"Aren't you?" Crane asks. "You're here with him. Trying to use me to capture him. That does not sound like you're on his side." Crane raises his brows as if he's trying to seem innocent in his reasoning.

"I'm always on his side. You just like to manipulate people. Saving him from you is on his side. Me and Dick just have a mutual interest in the situation." You keep your voice level, trying to mimic Dick.

"Do you think he'll believe you? He hasn't taken your side yet. Like I said, he's a monster." Crane offers a delicate shrug of his shoulder and it almost sets you off. And Crane knows it because calling Jason broken already did.

"He's not a monster. You are. People who are manipulated and drugged into doing monstrous things are not monsters. But good try." You quip back.

"Drugged?" Crane questions, acting confused and you know you slipped.

How does Dick deal with him without giving anything away? But you're also good on your feet. You've always been good at thinking of lies and believable ones.

"Don't play dumb. That's how you got to him, right? Has to be. There's no other reason he'd be doing all of this. Jason gets tortured and ends up with PTSD. He dies, comes back, and works with you and now he's suddenly not having any PTSD symptoms. It's a drug, right? You said you fixed him." You shrug your shoulders as Crane gains a cornered grin.

"You are confident, aren't you? Tell me, what do you think he'll do when he sees you here? Do you think he will really just walk away from it all? I have news for you, you're not that important to him." Crane sneers back as you're starting to get under his skin.

"I know." You state, letting yourself hurt. If you don't sound hurt, he can go back and tell Jason you don't care. "But it's worth a shot anyway. And I want you to know, you are only alive right now because Dick is here. You're on my list."

"That's right. Bluejay, the hero turns killer. Sound familiar? You birds think you're above people like me but three of the four of you are killers now. Look how similar we are."

"Bruce killed a homicidal psychopathic sadist. I kill people who kill and hurt kids. You turned Jason into a killer. We are not the same."

"Are you making the rules for killing now? Oh, that's good. How's that working out for you? Do you think after this is over, Dick will let it slide? All the Titans? I think you'll be in a cell right next to mine."

"Nope. Nice try though. You can't manipulate me as much as you try." You offer him a sarcastic grin.

"How's this: your boyfriend came to me instead of you. He trusts me with his secrets more than you. He hasn't even looped you in or tried to get you on our side. He told me all about how you got together, too. He told me about your little friend Gar. The green fella. How you picked him over Jason. That's a cruel thing you did." Crane explains as you can feel your blood start to boil. "Honestly, he does deserve so much better than you just for that alone. You know, he hasn't mentioned you since. Looks like he means more to you than you do to him. Maybe he was the one using you." Crane shrugs his shoulders easily.

It shouldn't bother you because Crane is just doing what he does. He's trying to get under your skin to get you to snap or side with him. He's trying to get you to reveal your weaknesses so he can use them against you. You know. But, it's really difficult because even Crane saying it is confirmation to you. You know Jason deserves better. It was always a thought you had the entire time. But, it was the fact Jason chose you anyway and you chose him. Now, you're here though where it feels more like Crane might have a point. You aren't going to give that away though.

You lean forward towards Crane. "Look, I need you to understand this: I am coming for you. You can say whatever you want about Jason and why he came to you and whatever you wanna think. But one thing is certain, you are not going to make it out of this alive, Crane. I made a promise the day he died. I was going to come for every single person that made Jason Todd feel like he was not good enough, that he had something to prove, that made him believe he were a monster. I'm coming for you. You're alive now because of Dick, that is it. But once Dick gets what he wants, I'm going to kill you. Your days are numbered." You huff as you lean back in your seat.

"You won't do it." Crane taunts. "I matter to that boy of yours. You won't want him to leave you based on you not being able to control your killer instincts. I helped him with a cure. Do you think he'll forget that?"

"Then I'll live with the consequences. He'll understand one day and if I lose him, fine. But at least you can't fucking hurt him anymore."

"Like you have? It seems you've hurt him the most by not trusting him. I bet he's just devasted by you being here with Dick."

"Fuck you." You scoff.

"Yeah, that's right. You pretend to talk a big game but I know who you really are. You only look out for yourself. I get it. I really do. You had no choice out there on the streets and with your abusive foster father. It's your defense mechanism. Killing me isn't for Jason, it's for you. You can claim you saved him from me, a way to get to him and control him, use him the way you always have. Whenever something goes wrong, you go to him, don't you? You used him for the manor and the money. The weapons."

You suck in a breath and you think maybe Dick is just a better person than you are. He is, at the very least, more patient.

You get up and take a right hook to Crane's face as Crane yells out. You lean down, putting your hands on your knees. "You don't know who the fuck I am. Stop pretending like you do. Everything I do is not for me."

Crane spits blood onto the floor. "Really? Because this whole conversation you haven't said a word on how you feel about our boy. It's been about what you're going to do."

"Do you think I'm stupid enough to tell you how I feel about Jason? Or any details about us? You'll use it against me and him and I'm not desperate. I'm not falling for it. You don't get to know a damn thing about us from me."

"I already do." Crane grins wildly. "And I know how to get him to turn on you. I really hoped maybe you would come around to our side but...Jason will figure it out. I'll make sure of that."

You shouldn't do it and you know you shouldn't but you straighten your stance, pull your fist back, and punch him in the face again.

"You are so annoying." You groan as you take a step back just as the door opens.

Dick spots Crane hunched over in pain, spitting more blood onto the floor and you looking significantly more annoyed than when he left.

"Really?" Dick questions as he walks back in carrying firewood.

"If you didn't see that coming, that's on you, Dickolas." You sigh as you sit back down. "It was two punches, he's fine."

"I'm in pain!" Crane yells, gesturing with his cuffed hands.

"Oh, boo-hoo." You scrunch your face. "You're fine." You roll your eyes as you lean back in your chair, crossing your arms.

Dick ignores the bickering as he gets the fire going. The room starts to fall silent but with Jonathan Crane around, the room can't remain quiet for very long. Apparently, Crane wants to try and work Dick again.

"So, what's your plan here?" Crane asks.

"I told you. Wait for Red Hood and take him out."

"No, I mean, I mean in Gotham. You stepping into Daddy's shoes? Now don't get me wrong, I mean, you know, we all want to please our parents. That's why I became a doctor. You see how well that worked out, right?" Crane chuckles softly.

"You actually think we're the same?" Dick asks as he takes off his coat.

"No, no, no. What I'm saying is that we all get stuck on this hamster wheel," Crane sighs. "Trying to live up to the expectations of others. We always think that it's gonna turn out...different but the outcome is somehow always the same."

"And is that what you told Jason?" Dick asks.

"No, I'm talking about you. You come back here and you wanna bathe Gotham in blood as if that's somehow a better outcome than anything that Batman ever did. Bruce was a psychopath. He was using fear to control everyone, including his sons. I mean, he did it to Jason and he did it to you. And you and Jason, you both use that fear. You wield it like a weapon, but it hurts people, right? It hurts people that you care about. Like Hawk. It's still Bruce's game. Isn't it? It always has been." Crane pauses as the room goes silent. "Is there something on your mind?"

Dick chuckles softly. "Fear is your friend."

"What's that?"

"Bruce used to say it." Dick states. "He said, 'Fear reveals your weakness...and it gives you the chance to make it your strength."

"Hmm." Crane hums. "And him being the man that is, he...needed to make sure that you were afraid, didn't he?"

"I was out here all alone once. Bruce made me go out into the forest by myself for the first time. I had no idea what was out there." Dick starts as he tells the story about being chased by a wolf and being terrified he was going to be eaten alive, Bruce nowhere to help him.

"You were just a boy and those were the lessons that he taught you." Crane lets out a sigh as he shakes his head. "It's not your fault. But you need to make sure that this doesn't happen to someone else. That it stops with you. Now you let Gotham take care of Gotham. The water will find its level. Stop trying to prove something here."

Before Dick can respond, the alarm starts going off about a perimeter break. Your heart sinks with the alarm. Jason really just can't help himself. He has to come and prove something. Maybe, just maybe, Crane might have a point about that, actually. You hate to even think that but...Jason just showed up to prove something. He went to Crane to prove to Bruce he was good enough. Crane might be an asshole but he is making a little bit of a point, actually.

"But, the thing about that is, I've already proved myself." Dick states. "That night when I was a kid...without Bruce." Dick finishes the story, saying he was the one that killed the wolf with all the gory details. "I shouldn't have been afraid of the wolf. The wolf should have been afraid of me. Now, let's get you all fixed up. Company's coming." Dick starts undoing Crane's chains as you sit with wide eyes.

Maybe everyone is a monster. Or capable of being one. Maybe everyone has a monster inside of them but it's about what they use the monster for that actually makes them monstrous or not. Dick had no choice, do or die.

You know the wolf probably just wanted him out of its territory. Wolves have only attacked twice in North America since the early 1900s. Wolves aren't animals to typically fear. He didn't know any better but he was a monster that night to the wolf. And you know Dick isn't a monster. Not at his core. And you aren't either. And you know Jason isn't. But you've all done monstrous things out of self-preservation. Out of fear.

Maybe how people use that fear and those ideas is what makes them a monster. And if that's true, maybe most people can be saved. Maybe the monster just needs to know other ways to deal with the fear that fuels it.

You and Dick suit up once Crane is ready and you both head out to the woods. The plan is to subdue Jason, not kill him and then bring him back. That's it. You'll have him detox from the drug at the manor where it's safe. It'll be a two-on-one fight. And Dick is still a better fighter than Jason. You should be able to do this. So, you both head to the woods and you spot Jason down looking through the scope of a gun. 

Dick and you tread lightly, you staying further off to the side and behind Dick. You don't particularly want to fight Jason again if you don't have to, especially since you're sober. You know you actually might be here more to make sure they don't kill each other and just in case. Which is fine with you. But, as the two of you start to close in on Jason, Crane cuts the lights and Dick steps on a twig making Jason spin around immediately, blocking Dick's first hit. 

Dick tackles Jason, sending the two of them down a small hill. You follow the two of them just in time to see them both get back to their feet. Dick gets his enigma sticks in hand while Jason pulls out two pistols. The two of them start throwing hits using their weapons but the second Jason starts actually firing his gun, you step in.

You come in from the side, taking a kick to Jason's arm which gives Dick the opportunity to hit Jason in the knee. The hit sends Jason to the ground as he kneels, looking up to Dick as you walk beside him.

"Wow, classic moves. You even fight like Bats, huh?" Jason quips.

"Let it rest, Jay." You state and you can't see it, but he's surprised you're here fighting him. With Dick. And he's pissed. He really hoped you would take your shot at Crane even though he knew you wouldn't. You're just on Dick's side, lying to him.

"Not a chance, babe." Jason states. "Thought you wanted your shot at Crane, huh?"

"Yeah, I do but you're the one shooting the gun so." You shrug. "Not worth it." You shake your head softly as Jason grits his teeth under his helmet.

"We'll see." Jason says before quickly taking another shot at Dick, just as Dick moves out of the way.

You kick Jason just as Dick spins around and electrocutes Jason with his enigma stick. Jason falls back to the ground but only for a few seconds before he's back on his feet. He starts firing, trying to follow where Dick is going while you throw a knife, blade towards you at Jason's arm. It knocks his aim off just enough and Dick takes a shot with one of the enigma sticks. He uses it like a boomerang as it flies past Jason and hits his arm on the way back. 

The three of you continue to fight, Jason mostly trying to target Dick and only defending himself against you. But, it's two to one and Jason is growing more annoyed at the entire situation. You know when he's going to fight back and Dick is flipping around. But, he's trying until Dick gets a good hit to his arm, knocking it useless for a few minutes.

Jason is hunched over, holding his arm against his torso while you and Dick stand in front of him. You never wanted him to get hurt here. None of you should be getting hurt, especially at the hands of each other.

"You told Crane everything?" Dick questions. "Everything!?" Dick yells. "This ends here."

"What did you think was gonna happen?" Jason straightens his stance. "After what you did to me. After what you let happen!"

"This isn't on me! You made your own choices."

You take a step back and this is definitely their fight. You were always on Jason's side with what happened. But, it's been hashed out. It was talked through months ago. Whatever mind game Crane played for all of this to resurface is insane. But, you suck in a breath because while the stuff that happened in San Francisco is Dicks' fault, the stuff that's happened here isn't. Not really. It's more Bruce's fault but Bruce is nowhere to be found so you figure Dick is just an easy target. Jason, clearly, doesn't see the irony in that one.

"Like you made yours? Come on, dude, you're just like the old man. A copy. Everything you do. Everything is because of him." Jason says as he throws something at Dick and shoots it sending off a flash bang.

Dick and you get blinded which gives Jason the oppurtunity to take several swings at Dick before he has him in a choke hold, Dick on his knees. Jason holds a gun to his head and for a second, he thinks he's finally won.

"But not for long."

After all of this torturous hell, he's won. This can be the endgame. He gets Dick and he gets to snuff out the person he thinks is responsible for all of his pain. That's what this was about. But, you come back into view with the flashbang wearing off and you stand directly in front of Jason just a few feet away from him.

"Put the gun down, Jason." You grit your teeth.

"You on his side now?" Jason asks.

"Fuck." You groan. "No, but I fucking told you, you're not killing him." You seethe as you pull out a knife. "Let him fucking go, Jason."

"You know what he did!" Jason yells.

"No, I know what he did then and you squashed that shit. The shit that happened here isn't on him. You wanna blame someone then blame me." You shrug as you hold the knife steady and ready to be thrown in a split second.

The words catch Jason off guard. Crane has been telling him this whole time that you're the reason he suffered here. You're one of the reasons. If it weren't for you, it would have just been him getting to be Robin. You were good at it. Maybe Bruce saw you as a way to replace Jason. He never had any problems overcoming anything but you get in the picture and he can't even sleep at night. It all came back to you and now you're standing in front of him taking the blame.

"So, you are with him then, right?" Jason asks and Dick can feel Jason's grip starting to loosen. "You're just like him. You got a suit and now you think you're another bat. Dick's right, this ends here."

"I am always with you." You urge. "But, if you wanna blame someone for the shit here, then it should be me and Bruce, not Dick. So, let him go. You know I won't miss."

"So, try it." Jason threatens, he knows you won't. You would never throw a knife directly at him in case you do miss or he moves or you hit Dick. You wouldn't take the risk with them involved.

"Gotham PD! Drop your weapons!" You all hear from a helicopter above you.

The three of you look up to a spotlight on them. Dick takes the opportunity to grab Jason's arm, the gun firing as Dick grabs him. The gun fires directly at you but luckily, it misses as you dodge it just in time thanks to throbbing in the front of your head. The boys don't notice as they continue their fight and at this point, you're fed up with the two of them. 

"You almost shot me!" You yell and for a second, the two of them freeze, looking at you. "I've had it with you two idiots." You lunge forward and join the fight with the two of them.

The three of you end up fighting each other, you unsure of whose side you're on now. Dick pulled his arm so the gun would aim at you and Jason managed to pull the trigger in the struggle. It's ridiculous but as you all fight each other, a shot goes off from above you and it comes down right in the middle of the chaos, sending Dick off to the left and you and Jason off to the right.

Jason is the first to his feet and he sees you struggling to breathe after having the wind knocked out of you. Despite it all, that voice that tells him to side with you, is louder than usual. Something about seeing you possibly hurt sends his head into a static panic. So, grabs you and starts pulling you into the woods and away from Dick. You groan and you can see Dick still on the ground. If he's not on his feet now but Jason is, you're starting to think he was the one shot in this mess. This whole thing went to shit real fucking quick.

"Let go of me!" You yell, wiggling out of his grasp.

Jason takes a step back, putting his hands up and away from you. "Are you okay?" Jason asks as he takes his helmet off.

You spin around on your butt, eyes wide in disbelief. "Seriously!?" You get to your feet and rip off your mask. "No! I'm not okay! You two almost shot me. You killed Hank. This shit sucks! You're trying to kill Dick and you're thinking I'm turning on you, for fucks sake. What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not everyone else!?"

It's wearing off, he can feel it off. The guilt is washing over him slowly and he hates this feeling. The withdrawal is starting to kick in and he wants to start ripping his hair out. Everything starts to hurt, slowly and steadily.

"Get out of here then." Jason turns around to walk away.

You run up behind him and grab him. He doesn't get to off so easily this time. "Get the fuck off of that drug for one fucking day and tell me Crane is on your damn side. I'm sick of this shit, Jason."

"So, stop following me." Jason turns to face you. 

"Come home." You grit your teeth and you know it's a waste of breath but you try anyway. After talking with Crane and seeing how easy it is to manipulate people, you're more afraid for him than you were before.

"I can't!" Panic seeps into his voice and he hates the way it sounds.

"Bullshit! Yes, you can!" Your voice starts to tremble as your nose scrunches.

He can't. He doesn't belong there. It was never home. They don't want him there. They don't get it. No one believes in him and they don't care about him. Crane has shown that he does. Crane has to be right about them. Jason can't afford for Crane to be wrong. He can't just go home. It doesn't work like that.

"No! Get out of here before Crane finds us! Go!"

The wording catches you off guard. He is worried what Crane will think if you're together. Crane said Jason hasn't mentioned you once and you didn't think too much of it, assuming it was because Jason just had his sight set on whatever the hell Crane wanted him to do. But, maybe Jason just left your name out of it the same way you just did. To protect each other. You need to find a way to work with that. Jason knows, deep down, something is off and you have to get through to that part of him but you don't know how. For the first time since meeting him, you don't know what will work with him.

"Jay," You plead with him. "He's not on your side. He is using you! Just like Bruce did. Please, come with me." You reach for his hand but Jason pulls it away. "Please."

He shakes his head. It's not worn off nearly enough for that to work. It has worn enough though for him to feel for you. "I'm sorry." Jason puts his free hand on your shoulder, searching your face but all he sees is the water brimming in your eyes. "I'm sorry I almost shot you. But, go. Get out of here." His voice is stern but there's a slight quiver to his words.

You shake your head softly as your heart breaks and you wonder how much more your heart can take before it finally just gives up. "Watch your back, Jay." You state softly, lacking any and all venom that should come with those words. "With Crane. I got the Titans, okay? If you have ever trusted me at all, watch your back, please."

"What do you mean you have the Titans?" Jason asks, his brows furrowing as he drops his hand.

"I got them covered, don't worry about them. Worry about Crane." You nod your head softly as you place your hand on his cheek. "Seriously, Jay, be careful." You nod once before you slide your hand from his face and turn around, making your way through the trees and back to where Dick was.

Jason watches you leave and he can't help but wonder what the hell you mean by watching himself with Crane. Of course, he knows you don't trust him. You wouldn't trust anyone like Crane, it's one of the reasons Jason never looped you in before he died. But, this feels different and he doesn't know why. Crane wouldn't tell you anything but you seem genuinely worried and maybe Jason should be questioning Crane a little more. He hasn't told Jason the entire plan yet anyway.

You get back to the clearing but Dick is nowhere to be found. You let out a sigh of relief figuring Dick must be okay if he's not here. So, you start your walk back to the cabin. When you get back, you find Dick standing in the doorway, holding his shoulder.

"You okay?" You ask from behind him.

Dick turns around quickly and for a second, he was worried they took you. You're the one who says you have a habit of being kidnapped. It was that or maybe you did side with them in the end. But, here you are looking absolutely defeated.

"Yeah, you?"

"You're bleeding." You state as you point to the blood leaking around his hand holding his shoulder.

"It's nothing. Are you okay?" Dick questions again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You two morons missed me." You quip back as you roll your eyes. "You got shot though so that's a problem."

"It's fine." Dick states and suddenly you know where Jason gets it from. They aren't even blood-related and it's always 'it's fine' and 'I'm fine'. "Crane is gone so we need to get back."

"Good luck explaining that to Babs." You suck in a breath, pushing past Dick to grab your things from the cabin. "Sorry." You offer a yikes look based on the scowl you're receiving from Dick.

"Come on, let's go." Dick nods his head towards the door before the two of you head back to the car to get back to the manor.

As you head back to the manor, you're stuck hoping against everything in you that tonight was enough for Jason. It has to be enough to convince him. It has to.

prev. chapter | next chapter

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

A/n: There's more Jason in the next chapter and in the rest of the chapters lol I am going into season 4. I have a plan lol We also do circle back to the whole fight between him and the reader later!!

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @urmomsgayforme5

[aerodaltonimperial]

(post b&g, idk, might try for more tomorrow, i am straight up having a bad time right now lol)

The thing is, this company fucked him over; this company fucked him completely over, in every way that matters, and now the only thing he can think about as he's stumbling his way backstage, with his face bleeding and his temples throbbing and his arms aching, is that it's happened again. He's so fucking angry that even if the blood wasn't running down and stinging in the corners of his eyes, he still wouldn't be able to see straight. On the way up the ramp and through the tunnel he bangs his shin into the posts, and it's not even on the top ten current aches and pains: a distant afterthought.

Fuck this. Fuck this. Jack's chest is slick with the remnants of the gasoline, and fuck all of this. He slams his hand into the wall and sort of just yells, and that's when someone grabs for his arms. It's instinctive to recoil, actually, on account of how fucking angry he is, and when he spins around to face them, a few flyaway hairs get stuck in the corners of his mouth.

"Fuck you," he growls.

"Okay," Matthew starts, but he's got his hands up, palms out, like he's trying to calm a skittish colt, "you know what, we don't need to—"

"No, fuck you, Matt," Jack says. He must sound furious, must sound absolutely out of his mind, because no one even tries to correct him. And he is furious. He is out of his mind, and bleeding, and fuck, he might have a concussion, but right now, he's ready to spit fire. "You don't get to do that."

"What, I don't get to qui—"

"You don't get to give people matches," Jack cuts him off. "You don't get to get people matches against me."

Matthew's face does something complicated. It cycles through confusion and disbelief and lands somewhere in the middle in a place that's got thumbtacks embedded in it. "That's what you're mad about?"

"That was my match to give." Jack's gonna puke. His vision is blurring, but he's absolutely not backing down now. He jabs his index finger back into the tunnels. "I was not quitting."

"Oh, sure, I'll just let you get lit on fire, and—"

"You are doing exactly what they did to me already!" Jack cries, and finally, finally, he thinks Matthew is listening. Because everything goes silent until all the only sound roaring against Jack's ears is his own labored breathing. Fuck, all he can smell is the gasoline. "Do you understand? You are doing exactly what this company did to me last time. You're making all the choices."

Matthew winces. "That's not what I—"

"Fuck you," Jack says, though really, it's more of a gasp: sputtered out as his strength fails. His knees give out, too. He ends up smacking against the wall and then just sort of sliding down onto the tiles, too fast and with no real control. Matthew reaches for him, and Jack smacks the man's hands away. "Fuck off. Fuck off!"

He puts his head in his hands, and breathes. It's hard to focus on his lungs expanding and contracting. Jack tents his fingers across his forehead, streaking red all over his hands, and stares down at his boots until the footsteps move away. The footsteps move away, and one of the med staffers presses a cool towel against his forearm.

Jack shifts the terrycloth gingerly up to his face. The shock of cold helps, a bit, but it does nothing to ease the twisting in his chest. He's all but locked in now: a bargaining chip. He was traded away like a chess piece to sacrifice for a better move, and they didn't even win for the betrayal. When he hisses pain into the towel, his whole body trembles with the aftershocks.

Fuck this. God.

Jack pushes his knees up tighter to his chest, and aches.

[darkfictionjude]

I'm, not necessarily baffled (as I can understand it), but surprised Imre and Nia believe the MC to be murderer. The reasons Lorcan may have to believe in MC's innocence are multiple, and it was always clear to me he believed MC wasn't responsible (otherwise I know Lorcan wouldn't be asking MC's aid to find Orla's necklace, Lorcan is not that twisted, lol).

As for Nia, I also get why she believes what she does. MC has motives, possible opportunities, and the means (if I recall correctly, Nia saw one of the episodes where MC "rages" or loses control). Believing in MC's innocence, even from a sense of loyalty to MC, feels foolish from her POV. It could also explain, as well as make me reconsider a lot of what I thought of her, the reasons why she behaves as she does with MC. It also does explain some of her reticence when it comes to the murder investigation the gang is doing (after all, a likely murderer is helping, or so Nia believes), as well as the possible gripes she may have on becoming closer to MC. Can she look past the murder? What does that mean for her? For her self, for her morals? Is it worth it at all to love MC?

As for Imre... Like, I understand him believing MC is a killer. This boy it's too inmersed on the world of rumors and lies to naively think MC is innocent. Especially when he does not have enough information on MC (as they were mere acquaintances, and technically they still are, but less so than back then).

But unlike Nia, that has a relationship with MC before the murder, Imre doesn't have another motivation that would push him towards loving MC freely over maintaining a distance from self preservation purposes. The only justification I can have is that Imre is intrigued by it, or, worse, he finds it hot somehow. And like, I understand that when the murders are fictional. But, Imre, luz de mis ojos, sol de mi vida, luna de mi cielo, amor de mi corazón, what the fuck is wrong with you? MC may be interesting, but you don't get involved with murderers unless you are okay with becoming a criminal yourself or allowing yourself to be at risk of being murdered.

Now, I'm not necessarily sure MC is innocent. I think they may be, more so because it would be very polemic of you to make MC a murderer when it's not a part of the premise of the story. Making him a suspect? That's all fine and dandy, but making him the culprit? Well, that has a lot of issues, at least for an IF. I'm not saying it's impossible to do it, but it probably wouldn't be well received by the readers (since we wouldn't have a choice on it, and even if MC is not a self insert, is a very major thing to force on players especially as a plot twist of sorts, if it was something known from the beginning there would be less of an issue). Personally I wouldn't care. However, I do think MC is most likely to be innocent than guilty.

That said, I was imagining a scenario in my head. Basically after everything was over and MC proved, even if he (my MC is male) wasn't intending in doing so, his innocence when it came to Orla's murder, Imre and MC have a conversation. In this conversation, which they have after feelings have been shared, Imre confesses he believed all this time MC had killed Orla.

Then, my MC would look at Imre in shock, then in horror. They had kissed, perhaps more, and Imre thought MC was a murderer. But instead of being offended, my MC would be angry because Imre put himself at risk unnecessarily. So, my MC would reprimand Imre about this, about how unsafe it was for him to romance MC. What if MC was a murderer? What then?

And so my MC speaks long and passionately about this. Very lovingly, yet irate. And Imre is just amused by the whole thing, and weirdly touched. Then he comforts MC and they make up this little discussion physically and passionately. After all, Imre may want to reward MC for being, uselessly, worried about him.

But maybe he would react differently, although I would have to refer to you if that's the case.

I like how you broke down the motives for the ROs to believe what they do haha 😭

The thing is and pardon my French I don’t give a shit what people would consider polemic. It’s my game and I’ve said that you the readers don’t know much about mc. A big thing about this game is surprises and twists, there are things you won’t see coming given the nature of mc being an unreliable narrator, that’s warning enough to tell the readers that they need to expect anything.

The thing with spoilers is that they’re not part of premises for a reason like mc being murderer would be a big spoiler I couldn’t put that in the master post. Like I’ve said that’s why I hope I don’t get people in my inbox saying “MY mc wouldn’t do this” because that’s not how I’m writing this. Otherwise if it bothers people that much what mc might have done or not they might need to find a game more suitable for them. I care about the readers but if I can’t make this story the way I envisioned than I see no point in writing it because I want to create something I’m proud of and inspired by

I do like how you’re lowkey scolding Imre though haha “Imre people who you think are murderers should not pique your interest!” 😭

[mygreatadventurehasbegun]

Scattered thoughts on The Heiress.

I realized when I started watching the movie tonight that this is the first time I've sat down to watch the entire thing in years. I've caught parts of it on TCM from time to time, but I haven't seen the entire movie in at least five years.

So, here's so random thoughts.

Catherine's father is a massive dick. Yes, I know that's not a new discovery...but I think I hate him more than ever after watching this tonight. There's a moment when Morris is calling on Catherine and her father comes home. Morris says he is calling on "the most attractive girl...and her attractive father". And Austin's response is "I wouldn't say we were attractive." Not I. We. Even in front of a guest in his home who is paying his daughter a compliment, he can't seem to stop insulting her. And the fact that Catherine doesn't even noticed shows just how used to it she is...or maybe she's still glowing by the fact that a guy that looks like Montgomery Clift called her attractive.

I love the choices that Olivia de Havilland made for Catherine's voice. In the first half of the film, it's bright, girlish and airy. But as soon as things start to fall apart around her, her voice begins to drop. It becomes sharp and hard when she speaks to her father after he reveals his true feelings....and again when she sees Morris again at the end. And her physicality is excellent. The bits of business she does at the beginning of the film (fumbling with her dance card or twisting her handkerchief in her hand) really helps illustrate Catherine's insecurities. And the way she leans away from Morris is so interesting. In the beginning, it's because she isn't used to having people that close (especially men) and she is so nervous, she can't help but move back. At the end, she is genuinely uncomfortable around him when he tries to be intimate...leaning back and tensing up when he tries to embrace her. That is, until she finds a way to turn the tables on him.

And I wanted to talk about Morris. Montgomery Clift's performance is so subtle, that it makes the character so difficult to read. Hence why when I was a teenager, I bought every single word that came out of his mouth. Tonight, I found myself watching him, even when he was in the background to see if there was any sort of tell. And for the most part there wasn't. But there is one little gesture that said so much.

So.

Catherine and Morris' reunion scene is one of my favorite scenes in the movie. Even knowing what is going to happen, I can't help but get swept up in the romance when that music swells and they kiss in the rain. I won't break down every moment because I'll be here all night, lol. But at the end of the scene, when Catherine has told Morris what has happened with her father and that she will not forgive him, we get a couple of closeups on Clift's face. In the first one, we can see the impact the news has on him that he isn't going to get the full 30K he thought (which, in today's money is about 1.2 million/year, just FYI). But on the second closeup, Catherine has just buttoned up his cloak for him and I saw something I never had before.

He grabs her hand.

He knows it's all over and yet he still grabs her hand.

So, to me, the way I read it is that he actually does care about her. I don't believe that he was in love with her, but he genuinely cares about her as a person and realizes that he is probably going to hurt her terribly, and he feels awful about it...because while he may care about her, he cares about the money more.

It's such a little thing that I'm sure was a choice on Clift's part. So, I agree with her aunt's assessment from earlier in the film. He would have taken care of Catherine and made her happy. There may have been a point down the line where he stopped being outwardly affectionate...but it wouldn't have happened immediately.

And in that final scene, I am 100% on Catherine's side when she says that her aunt is talking like a fool. The fact that she bought Morris' sob story is hilarious. I mean, I bought it when I was 17...but I was a teenager who knew jack shit. She is a full grown adult who saw her niece's heart break in real time and was like "yeah, Morris's story sounds legit". I get that she does want Catherine to be happy, but come on...do better, Aunt Penniman.

And finally, even though this has been said a billion times, Olivia de Havilland gives her finest performance in this movie.

Genuinely brilliant.

[ragnarokhound]

>:3

just saying Icarus au would be too easy for this rn

uhhm

JayTim fire water personalities, clashing, hurting each other, fitting together as opposites

still not really an au hmmm

just gonna keep throwing ideas here

ohh wanna see a mermaid au in your style

or one of those free willy mermaid aus

deaging 🤔 of one character and the other gotta take care of them

bound by magic (in what way? who knows)

take ur pick

For the ask game!

AUGH ABYSS HOW DO I CHOOSE

But omg mermaids is so fun... It is one of my all time favorite self-indulgent urban fantasy aus haha, I still want to finish my teen wolf mermaid fic... Someday...

Mermaid aus are so good for the yearning. The secret keeping of it all, the 'we're from different worlds and idk how it will work unless one of us makes a sacrifice' of it all. And I kind of sort of already played this trope straight with the selkie fic I wrote for jaytim week this year, haha (selkies aren't technically the same as mermaids, but there's a big overlap there lol)

But I also like that the existence of Aquaman in DC lets you flip that trope on its head while still complying with canon! There totally could be real life mermaids in DC because low-key there already are lmao

This isn't quite what you asked for, but in that vein:

please entertain with me Atlantean!Tim who admires the Bats from afar. Most of my exposure to Atlantis/Aqualad is via the Young Justice cartoon (the glow up between the first seasons and the later seasons is still insane to me lol) so please imagine Tim found out about Robin when YJ made an appearance in Atlantis, or Tim got himself on the same track as, say, Lagoon Boy and hopes to join one day. He has the biggest crush on Jason Todd and Jason doesn't even know he exists

There are two vastly different directions I am torn between from here, but the funnier one is: Tim basically follows Jason home to Gotham. Cue Gotham getting a new harbor cryptid that's just an Atlantean with a crush and a very robust immune system lmao

Tim gets horribly sick for the first week or two (he's not keeping track) while his system reacts to the bullshit that is Gotham Bay - but he is determined to stick it out. Naturally, he gets found by a bat while he's shivering near the docks one day, following up on rumors about the kid from the black lagoon who keeps dodging harbor security. Bonus points if it's Babs, and she agrees not to tell Batman and Robin, at least until Tim is healthy. Bonus bonus points if it's not a bat who finds him, but Catwoman :^) (Fishy-fishy, I wouldn't let a goldfish swim around in this water, where are your parents, you're coming home with me--)

Meet-cute between Jaybin and Harbor Cryptid Tim involves a smuggling operation that Jason's been tracking. During the sting, he gets in over his head, ends up in the harbor, and Tim saves him from drowning

Jason knows Bruce hates it when Supers and other capes come to Gotham. He knows who Aquaman is. Ergo, he has to keep Tim a secret from Bruce. Cue sneaking around and hiding from Batman and all kinds of teenage dating tropes and shenanigans. Tim blushes 24/7 because, omg he's hanging out with his crush and he isn't freaked out by the whole Atlantean thing and he's helping Robin wow; meanwhile Jason is fascinated by Tim, exhilarated to have a secret from Bruce, and wondering more and more what it would be like to hold Tim's hand.

(Bonus: When Bruce finds out about Tim, the first thing he does is tattle on him to Aquaman. Follow those dominoes down to Tim being an Aqualad equivalent on the Young Justice team a few years down the road. OwO When they find Red Hood with the League of Assassins, Tim is right there with Dick trying to get him back.)

When I started writing this out, I did not intend for this to become cute baby jaytim with an atlantean twist, but that's where it ended up going haha

[appleflavoredkitkats]

do you have any headcanons on what russell went through during his time with the utopians?

HELLO ISSY!! im in the middle of plotting my version of ivywood so i have SOME things... but not everything is fully fleshed out! here r some of them (under the cut!)

since it's sort of implied that russell's been raised there since birth/childhood, i feel like his parents only joined because they were struggling financially, which the utopians would have aided

i do think russell would have HATED the strict regulations at a young age. like obviously, he would still grow to adapt to some things (ie. desperate need to prove himself worthy, because the utopians would have deprived that of their followers) but to me, russell is just too much of a curious child. he wouldn't have kept his curiosities at bay, especially since he loved learning about more mind-boggling things like cryptic codes, linguistics, the human brain, etc. at a young age

i think this guy! would have been a very lonely child! esp since he's austistic and trans! since he's afab, i feel like his autism diagnosis would have come in late (like maybe 10 years old?) and that's the same time he would have realized he was trans. so he basically became a disappointment amongst the utopians. like parents would tell their kids that russell would be the child NOT to imitate u get me

but i feel like as much as i think russell would come out of this with insecurities, i think his pride is one of the reasons that got him out of there in the first place? and i mean, call him egotistical all you want, but the last thing russell would want to do is doubt his capabilities because that's EXACTLY what the utopians would have wanted.

in my version of ivywood, i made "once upon a crime" happen AFTER "wild wild death" because i hc that trevor neuman was responsible for russell's interest in psychology. but don't get it twisted, he doesn't rlly like the kid- rather, the higher-ups in utopia saw potential in his intelligence and wanted to profit off of that. to me, russell might have possibly made the foundations for their brainwashing mechanism, but russell himself doesn't realize that it actually works

i do think russell was genuinely close to his parents, although they don't get along all the time because the two are depressed servants of the cult. i do think russell would have had a closer bond to his mother though. i'd like to think she actually helped russell escape at 16. the only reason she didn't go with him was because she wanted to convince jupiter to go with her, but he adamantly refused out of fear.

the higher-ups definitely knew that caroline (russell's mom) assisted his escape and so they would have murdered her and framed it as an accident. when this happened, they utilized jupiter's grief to make him stay in utopia even longer.

after hearing news about his mom's death, russell would have sneakily watched the funeral from afar. that's when he received the note that says he has nowhere to hide.

i need to flesh this out even more, but i definitely think russell reached out to the pbpd after he escaped. i think it would be funny if andrea assigned frank to look after him, at least up until russell finds a secure job to move out lol. there is a reason these two are at each other's throats all the time !

to return to the utopians though, i genuinely think that the fact russell was raised in a cult fucked up his sense of identity and vulnerability, in a sense that. this mfker HATES showing his true self to anyone in fear of it being used against him. his flirty, manipulative mask is definitely just. a mask. because it's a survival skill he developed after escaping !

moreover i do think he gets impostor syndrome sometimes because as much as he's a genuinely prideful person, sometimes he thinks he feels the need to grab everyone's attention because he was so deprived of it when he was young. so sometimes he does have to grapple with that, because he HATES thinking that a part of him is still disgustingly utopian

[sunthyme]

BABE, WAKE UP! PART FOUR'S OUT! Anyways, thank y'all so much for the support!! Every time I read y'all's tags and comments, I tear up istg y'all are so sweet. Have some photos of my kitten as a treat.

Onto...

🏵️Scarabia🏵️

So I believe they have the least amount of members out of all my headcanoned dorms so if y'all can think of some more villains for me to twst, I'd be more than happy to toss them in here lmao.

🦦Kalim Al-Asim🦦

omg they have an otter emoji cute!!

(he/him) Transmasc - Panromantic Asexual

My baby boy is so precious omggg

- I really didn't change a lot from the og design tbh, I love him. I did give him rounder and bigger eye for that cute puppy-eyed look.

- Stuck some freckles on him and gave him a tooth gap for max cutie patootie status. Oh, and some scars from previous assassination attempts.

- I'm really partial to Kalim and Ruggie or Kalim and Silver personally (or both, Kaiplim does have two hands for a reason) but I see them as a little friend group regardless and he LOVES spoiling them.

- Ruggie at first befriended him for the money aspect but eventually grew to like being around Kalim anyways. Silver just likes to listen to Kalim talk. Was also his first friend outside of Diasomnia.

- Kalim has ADHD and dyslexia, making it super hard for him to concentrate in class so Ruggie helps him study for tests (Kalim always bring food along with so it's mutually beneficial lmao). Because of this, people end up thinking he's dumb but he's super intelligent, he just can't concentrate easily. Crewel lets him have different fidgets in class as long as he doesn't accidentally disrupt his potion-making with them.

- Kalim's also highly empathetic and view himself as a support to all (maybe I am a Kalim kin too, fuck). He loves to listen to other and help out. God, he's such a cutie omg. Also has really good memory in specific about remembering who tells him what.

God I love Kalim so much, the cutie patootie. Still on Book 4 so I don't know ALL of the shit that happens yet but y'know it's gonna make me cry.

Next is

🐍Jamil Viper🐍

(he/it) Agender - Gay Demi-romantic Asexual

If I didn't think I changed a lot about Kalim, I changed practically nothing about Jamil lol.

- Biggest change was giving him a much redder skin tone. Not only is it closer to Jafar's, I felt it would look really nice with his general colour palette.

- Made his face a bit more angular and 'snake-like', plus some fangs but you can't see them lmao. Dimples because every time this man actually smiles, a new angel is born istg.

- I love him and Azul as a dynamic because it's two really emotionally constipated people dancing around each with a fun amount of delulu on Azul's part, let's be honest. Lowkey could be toxic or healing, who knows?

- He purposefully cooks too much some times as an excuse to give some away. I see him slides over an extra thing of food to Azul at some point as a sort of 'repayment' for like give him the homework or something. (Azul loves his cooking but wouldn't say that to his face for a hundred dollars lol).

- He and Trey cook together and Trey is like the only other person Jamil trusts in the kitchen with him. Trey teaches Jamil his family's baking recipes and in turn, Jamil share his cultural recipes. Trey 🤝 Jamil solidarity.

- Hella competitive streak which means Azul and Floyd find it incredibly easy to push his buttons.

- I know this is a lot of AshenViper but I love them lol. Azul tries to flirt with Jamil subtly like in the mer fashion of penguin-pebbling but Jamil is obviously unaware of the custom so he doesn't get it. (He does keep all the little shiny things, though over his dead body would he tell Azul that.)

Enough about my two favourite dumbasses... now for my ocs!

🌅Dareen Irfan🌅

Third Year - (she/her) Nonbinary - Sapphic Asexual

God, this is just the dorm for asexuals, huh?

- Dareen is twisted from the Cave of Wonders! I could not for the life of me tell what kind of cat it was so she's kinds ambiguous, especially since there's already another tiger.

- She is a very knowledgeable person and knows pretty much everyone. If you need information about someone you wanna ask out, she's your girl. She love playing matchmaker but respects when someone is not reciprocating and helps the rejected party move on.

- She and Oki are friends and like to do tarot readings together. (She may or may not have a massive crush on her but refuses to say anything lol). Both are very interested in cultural practices and hang out a ton to talk about them. (God I love sapphics)

- She's actually also on the basketball team and she and Jamil get along pretty well. She's very fast on the courts and Oki attends all of her games.

Next is one of my favourite designs...

🌼Chunying Liu🌼

Third Year - (they/it/she) Genderfluid - Aromantic Bisexual

- Twisted from Shan Yu, from Mulan! I kept the greyer undertones in her skin which really makes her standout among the warmer ones lol.

- Kept the gold eyes, I love how piercing they look, and darker makeup. Turned the furs into little earring tassel things, idk just for fun.

- Definitely outdoorsy type, she loves to hike around a ton, bring some other classmen out with her. She comes from a hella cold climate so she's wearing shorts until it hits the negatives. Loves horseback riding too and her family has their own stables.

- Natural leader, I can see it being the captain of a sports team, maybe like cross-country or something. She and Leona are probably pretty similar in demeanour as captains, make of that what you will.

- Her and Rook do archery practise together and she actually gets along great with Epel, they bond over winter sports and whatnot.

Time for probably one of my favourites out of my ocs!

🐯Chanda Singh🐯

Second Year - (she/her) - Bisexual

God I love her sm.

- Twisted from Shere Khan from the Jungle Book, which I looked up and it takes place in India so she's Indian.

- I didn't want to give her solid orange hair so I settled for some streaks and I love how they look. Gave her a bindi, some thicker brows based on a Pinterest reference that I though was GORGEOUS, and some beautiful hazel eyes.

- She's also likes to be outside but more in the lazy cat way. She love to sunbathe and tends to be spotted around the greenhouse too. Chanda and Leona having cat solidarity lmaoooo. Though her behavior is solely because she's a cat and not depression lol.

- I dunno why but I think she's a totally history nerd, specifically fashion history. Ask her anything about the origins of corsets or sarees and she's go on a long rant about it. She loving drawing, namely fashion sketches and she and Vil work together whenever she makes some prototypes.

Finally!

🦜Nasira Haqq🦜

First Year (she/they) Unlabelled Gender - Bicurious?

- Twisted from Iago! She's so cute lol. I gave her dyed hair (and pronouns) and she's a freshman.

- Kinda takes after Jamil and enjoys cooking, one of the primary people that makes food for the parties. She and Kalim get along really well since they're both really social extraverts.

- She's loves flowers and tends to decorate the dorm with them, changing them out when there's an event coming up.

That's most of everything for Scarabia, I hope you enjoyed! Tyty once again and I love seeing y'all's tags omg!🩷🩷🩷

[just-some-random-blogger]

can you have a part 2 for served cold? Like this time Daemon gets the upper hand and marks/slashes up the reader's face but it's because he's a goner for her bold attitude and approach to revenge. Dude's prolly a secret masochist! My personal headcanon.

After the reader recovers, realizing her play as a shy maiden is up since she looks hideous, Daemon asks her to marry him? (like Ofc he went and slashed her up, why give her choice to say no or run when he has already become flattered) she says no but he seduces her, makes her feel pretty and it's basically stockholm syndrome.

Add detail like Daemon now wears armour to bed and the reader is often left tied to avoid her killing him while he pleasures her.

Like all sorts of blood play, hatesex, murder attempts and smut! I do think given the psycho that he is, Daemon would totally fall for the reader after realizing she bested him and was bold enough to try to murder him. He'd pay her back ofc but he also wouldn't let her go.

Outwardly though, the valeman and Viserys would just be happy that a Royce x Targaryen marriage "worked out" they don't know what goes on behind closed doors lol

I Want You, I Get You

Daemon Targaryen x Royce!Reader

Summary: You should have finished the job. You should have finished the job, you should have finished the job, you should have finished-

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: Depictions/descriptions of violence/death/murder/blood, dark/yandere!daemon, fem!reader, i still describe reader's features, typos, etc.

A/N: this is a p1 to served cold, i suggest you read if before reading this. i think MINORS DNI hey nonnie (i hope you read this), ngl your ask was the reason why i could not continue with my other reqs cause this been in my head since you sent it and i have been unsure of whether or not i wanted to write this at all. like YOU GOT MY ATTENTION, your prompt is so violent and twisted and T_T IM INTO IT ?????????? ok it has to be said i don't actually think violence is ok alright but T_T idk this concept is just so intriguing to me cos, i really feel like Daemon would do that shit, its giving yandere and in my head he is a yandere without having to write him like that. and secret masochist T_T MAYHAP IF SOMEONE HOT ENOUGH BRINGS HIM PAIN HES A VERY NOT SECRET MASOCHIST. also i didn't want to destroy reader the way you wanted to. the feminist in me will not allow it. *im* the writer anyway so lol. anyway this is pretty dark, i hope you like it though Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @targeryenmoony

It had been a whole week since the incident in the garden when any news about the prince surface. They were merely vague whispers, but it was evident the Stranger allowed him to live. A pity.

It took over entire month for there to be any official news on him however. Just this morn it was announced Daemon was alive and speaking. A truly unfortunate fate.

I had hoped he would have at least gone mute, then I wouldn't have felt the need to visit him to finish the job.

I didn't care if he squeaked about our encounter, that was not why I was going to him. I cared that he would live without any real repercussions. I didn't go through all that just to scar his already ugly, scarred body. No. He should have at least been given up his voice. Then, I would have been happy to let him live.

"At last," he speaks with not a trace of hoarseness, "a visitation."

The golden corset on my body constricts, as though it was being pulled from behind. My perfectly braided. dark hair suddenly feels like it had been wound a bit too tight by my temples.

The sound of me releasing my large skirt is loud in the stocky atmosphere in the room. I clasp my hands together in front of my, just below my bodice.

Daemon, laid on the cot, alone in the maester's ward, has his violet eyes scanning my body with his revolting, wormy lips curved upward.

"Would you like to examine your handiwork, my dear?" he asks, finger fiddling the wrapping on his neck aimlessly. He grunts when he pushes himself up and sits at the side of his bed. He blankly watches me as he extends a hand out.

I look at him, uninclined to allow him any sort of satisfaction, not with my movements, not with my expressions.

This was why I could not mask my eye twitch when he chuckles under breath.

I watch him closely when he stands and walks over to me, "do you have something special for me under that dress again?"

"No," I say as I inch my thumb to the opening of my bodice, "not at all."

I rip my blade out from the special pocket in my corset, then I lunge at him. As quick as I knew I was, it was clear he had expected this, he was prepared for me. Before I even stepped forward, he sidestepped away and reached for me.

With a strong grip, he grabs my armed hand and effectively yanks me forward, causing me to nearly topple. He uses his strength to his advantage, and fights like the scoundrel he is, kicking me before I could get my bearing. The next thing I know, he shoves me to the ground and presses his knee on my back. He clearly enjoys this irony.

Unlike how I had him, however, he has my arm twisted back with my blade still in grip. I feel him press the blade on the skin of my back, just above my laces.

"Yield," he mutters, "and I will not hurt you... too much."

I do not allow him even the sound of my strained breathing.

Daemon lets out a deep chuckle.

I muffle my grunt when he grabs the blade from me and rolls me over, shoving me to my back. He grabs both my hands when I attempt to strike at him. He sits on my thighs, effectively sealing me on the ground.

Daemon has the blade between his teeth.

The sight is so chilling that he takes the moment of bewilderment to his advantage and takes my wrists in one hand, pushing them above my head.

He was much larger than me, much heavier, much stronger, had longer limbs. I was outmatched. To the both of us, it was clear.

He grabs the blade with his other hand and presses the sharp side to my lips.

He bends the arm he had pushing down on my wrists. I cannot contain the whine that leaves me because of the crushing pressure on my bones.

"That's right," he says, "squeak," he presses the dagger closer to my lower lip. I feel my eyes water when I taste blood, but I hold my silence, still.

Daemon's face is bright in darkness when he slowly draws the blade deeper.

I whine when he slashes it down my lips with one quick motion.

His nostrils flare, "good girl."

I spit at him.

Red splatters on his face, and sequentially drips back down on mine.

Daemon grins, chucking the blade away so he could wipe his face. When he does so, my stomach rolls as he licks his fingers. The next moment, he rips at at the bandage on his neck, revealing the thick red line going across his skin, then scrams, "GUARDS!"

My brows furrow tightly as he screams louder when he turns over his shoulder, "GUARDS!"

The moment there is the sound of shuffling. He pushes off me and stands to his feet. I do not make a move. I do not want to, not when I'll get dragged away anyway.

"Where the fuck are you fools when I need you!?" Daemon demands tightly, pointing to the two guards that enter the room. I feel them stare at me on the floor. My blood stills when Daemon says, "my bride has just been attacked and you bumbling morons are letting him escape!"

I prop myself on my elbows and catch Daemon just as he points to the window, "will I throw one of you out the window he just jumped out of, or will you catch the assaulter that's getting farther and farther away?!"

I get to my feet as Daemon screams, "I WANT HIM BROUGHT TO ME TONIGHT!"

When the two run out of the room, Daemon turns to me. The anger in his features twist into a horror of a smile.

"You are deranged," I mutter.

"Come now," he tilts his head, tenting his hands in front of him, "that is not the way you refer to your groom."

I scoff, "you have clearly lost your sanity when I slashed you."

Daemon steps forward as he sighs, "and you have underestimated my strength."

I swat him away when he reaches out for my face.

He chuckles and continues to walk closer. I debate momentarily if it would be wise to step away from him. I am a second too late when he dashes over and grabs me by the throat.

His grip is so tight that I half expected him to just snap my neck.

I claw at him, but to no avail. He was too strong, too ready for this moment.

He hums, leaning down to press a kiss on my exposed shoulder. I choke at the intensity of his grip. He exhales deeply, "you smell just like you did that day."

I am helplessly trying to unlatch his hand as I feel the last of my breath leave me. My vision begins to darken.

The next moment, I drop to the floor, choking on my spit and on the air I was so desperately trying to take in.

Daemon takes one step back to look at me. I let out a rib chattering cough as he speaks, "we are to be wed in tomorrow, now that you have arrived."

He drops down to one knee, "I would suggest you make no more further attempts on me, so that I would make no further attempts on you... however," he pushes my thick hair back, "if you want to give me further reason to mark you, my love, I will not deny you of it."

He grabs my throat again when I turn to him.

I let out a broken cry, eye watering, fingers cold against his burning hand. I had no say in the muffled choking sounds that leave me as he lifts me up to my knees.

"Here's what will happen if you think of getting smart with me," he hums, "I'm sure your pretty little head has a thousand murderous plans for me, and I am quite excited to learn of them all," he utters, digging his nails into my skin, "but I'll have you know, if our marriage gets unbearable for you and you think of killing yourself instead, I will tell them I killed you after multiple attempts to kill me."

Daemon gives a lopsided smile.

"Then, your house Royce would be ostracized and shamed for all of eternity, and I would have it written that the duty of my late wife that upheld my her little sister was for naught."

I drop to the floor when he releases me, head pulsing wildly, drool dripping out of my mouth.

"You would've only brought shame to her memory."

I eye him darkly as he stands.

"I would then gloat at the sight of the dead girl who thought she was smart enough to best her prince."