#there was only one email and work was kicking my Ass can i really be blamed??????

[orcelito]

I think it is so sexy and good of me to be going back to class and messaging my group mates bc we have a thing due this weekend (WHOOPS)

Not letting my prior falter define the rest of my semester. I WILL finish these classes

[youcouldmakealife]

KS Fill: Gabe/Stephen; not on the list

For the prompt: I would say Gabe and Stephen’s wedding because I want that more than anything in the world, but I suspect that’s coming without my prompt? But if it’s not… 

It would come either way, probably, but this started the ball rolling.

More Gabe and Stephen, more lists. No actual wedding, but we get pretty damn adjacent.

Gabe knew the list would backfire the moment Stephen started making it. He even told Stephen as much, but Stephen just shrugged a shoulder and kept working on it. He got into it as it grew too, enjoying it so much that Gabe told himself he was probably worrying about nothing.

And maybe the list wouldn’t have been a problem if the only person he’d told about it was Gabe. Probably would have been fine even if knowledge of it extended to the Marksons and Petersens, which happened sooner rather than later.

But telling Gabe’s teammates — that was a mistake.

“A what list?” Jared asks when Stephen first mentions it.

“An anti-wedding list,” Stephen says.

Bryce sits up. “You guys aren’t getting married?”

From this angle, Gabe can’t see how withering the look Stephen gives Bryce is, but the kick Jared aims at his ankle is probably related.

“Obviously we’re getting married,” Stephen says, like he wasn’t panicking for a good few days after they got engaged, and only the potential wrath of Miriam Markson kept him from fleeing on the next flight out of Vancouver. “It’s a list of shit we don’t want at our wedding.”

“Um,” Bryce says.

“You know,” Stephen says. “The wedding traditions we’re vetoing.”

“We is such a strong word,” Gabe says.

“Unanimous approval or none at all, Gabriel,” Stephen says. "A veto only needs one."

He's right. And Gabe guesses he would know, consdiering he's the one vetoing everything.

“So wait, what exactly are you vetoing?” Jared says.

“Nobody’s wearing white,” Stephen says, starting to tick items off on his fingers. “I mean, white dress shirts are fine, obviously, but nobody’s a virgin here, we’re not doing any all in white shit. No flower girls or ring bearers. No little groom cake toppers. Fuck knows there aren’t going to be any garters involved. I don’t remember the rest off the top of my head, but I have it all written down."

“I like the little grooms,” Bryce says, sounding hurt. Gabe hasn’t seen any pictures from Bryce and Jared’s wedding, since it was very much on the down-low — and he truly wishes he could see how those two managed to put together a wedding on the sly when they couldn't even sit across from each other without Gabe figuring out they were married — but he bets there were little grooms on top of their cake. He also bets Bryce still has those little dudes hanging around somewhere.

“Can I see the list?” Jared asks. “I’m kind of curious how many our wedding had.”

“Sure,” Stephen says, with a hand wave. “I’ll email it to you when I’m finished. Have a few more items to add first.”

“Cool,” Jared says.

After Bryce and Jared leave, Gabe mentions it might not be a good idea to send Jared the list, but Stephen just scoffs.

“What’s he going to do?” Stephen says. “Wear white to my wedding? Put little grooms on his piece of cake? He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s not going to anything that actually fucks with the day, he’s not Dmitry.”

“Our wedding,” Gabe says.

“Oh come on, you already know what’s mine is yours,” Stephen says.

“You stabbed me with a chopstick over the last soup dumpling last night,” Gabe says.

“Stop saying I stabbed you,” Stephen says. “I didn’t even break the skin.”

“It hurt,” Gabe says, and Stephen takes his hand, planting an officious kiss on the back of it.

“Better?” Stephen asks.

“It was the other hand,” Gabe says, smiling when Stephen sighs dramatically before kissing it too.

“You’re really going to give Math that list?” Gabe says. “Blind trust isn’t usually your thing.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll lead to something hideous,” Stephen says. “But think of it this way: your idiot teammates are going to do something, so I may as well give them some parameters.”

“Huh,” Gabe says. “Good point.”

“I’m not exactly new to this, you know,” Stephen says.

“No, I know,” Gabe says.

At least whatever it is that’s coming, it won’t come out of the blue.

~

Gabe did not foresee this. Sure, when he gave Stevie and Dima and Bullet bachelor party planning rights he anticipated some variety of disaster, but he underestimated them, he thinks. Or overestimated them. There was some mis-estimation occurring.

He looks around. What initially looked like chaos seems oddly recognisable. Almost familiar.

It’s sort of wedding themed, which makes sense, considering the occasion, but everything’s slightly off, and not just because they’re in a venue more suited to clubbing than matrimony.

His eyes land on the big cake at the centre of everything. It looks more like the kind Gabe saw at Cup celebrations than a wedding one, decorated to look like a rink, with two little figures at centre ice. He’s too far to see the details, but he’s pretty sure they’re hockey figurines rather than grooms, and someone has decided to use the manipulable joints for, well, evil probably isn’t the right word, but maybe immaturity — Gabe’s pretty sure one of them is straddling the other. He guesses he should just be grateful no mounting is taking place, considering Dima’s probably the responsible party.

There are so many elements, and they don’t seem to fit together at all — elegant baskets of flowers that look almost painstakingly put together, surrounded by a scatter of rainbow confetti that feels like it's moonlighting from a completely different event. Some kind of crooner — Bublé? — playing, also from a completely different event. None of it seems to fit Gabe's picture of a bachelor party planned and attended by hockey players, even if the wives and girlfriends present also got involved in the planning.

It’s the guests themselves that help Gabe put it together. There was clearly a dress code, one that only Gabe and Stephen weren’t informed about, everyone all in white, neon bright under the black light. Like an item of a list come to life. Like one of many items of a list come to life.

He can see Stephen put it together a mere moment after he does, his eyes narrowing, mouth going flat. Playing at unimpressed for the — many — eyes currently on them, avidly waiting for a reaction.

“I’m going to fucking kill Jared,” Stephen says, and Gabe decides not to tell him just how proud he sounds.

“I wonder which one of the Canucks is wearing the garter,” Gabe says, and grins when Stephen forgets his audience and his composure for a moment, throwing his head back with a laugh.

[sebsbarnes]

letters to a loved one || tangerine

tangerine x reader

summary: the only form of communication you and tangerine can use when he is on a mission is email, however, as the weeks and months go by, your words have been left unanswered.

warnings: angst

word count: 1.4k

masterlist

a/n: this is a lot different than my normal works so i hope you enjoy this different format

aug 5th, 2022: i know it's only been two days since you left but i miss you so much already! good luck today, kick some ass!! mwah! xoxo

aug 15th, 2022: hi honey. i hope the mission went well a few days ago! even though email is the safest way we can communicate while you're gone i know you can't always respond even if you're in a safe house. i'm not too worried, i know how skilled you and lemon are. tell him i say hi! i can't wait for you to be home, you estimated you'd be back on the 17th so i have a nice dinner planned. <3 love you so so much my sweet tang!

aug 27th, 2022: hey tang, i can't lie and say i'm not a tiny bit worried but i keep telling myself you've been gone longer before with zero communication. maybe it feels different now because of how long we've been together. i miss waking up to you and grabbing our keys and heading out for the day. if you see this message me back! even if you can't fully respond i'll settle with a smiley face if i must! haha. oh by the way i still cooked that dinner i had planned for us, it came out soooo yummy. but it took so long omg! you're lucky i love you and i'm willing to spend 8 hours in the kitchen again. it will probably taste better this time since you will be by my side. love you lots!

sept 12th, 2022: i only just saw the news of the bullet train derailment in japan on august 5th. that was your mission wasn't it? you said the 5th. i'm worried more now, i can't lie, but like i tell you every day i know how skilled you are. even though i never want to wish you are in a hospital i hope that's where you are recovering with lemon by your side. when you get the chance please email me back, okay? i love you.

sept 14th, 2022: tangerine if you see this please email or call me.

sept 30th, 2022: i wish i could talk to you just once. one word so i know you are okay. i can't reach lemon either. i wake up every day hoping you will be laying next to me. please, please give me something so i know you are alright? anything. where are you tangerine? i don't want to keep crying but that's all i can do. sit here in our empty house and cry. the walls feel like they are closing in on me. i went to our favorite breakfast spot the other day and i got that really sweet older lady with the grey curly hair as my waitress. she asked where you've been. i don't know how much longer i can keep saying you are gone for work and people believe it... i no longer believe it either. i hate typing it out. i don't want to believe something awful happened but something did, didn't it? i can feel it in my body. please reach out to me, i miss you so much and i love you so so much tangerine, please.

oct 26th, 2022: i love halloween, you know that more than anyone. decorations everywhere, piles of candy, and everyone dressing up pretending to be someone else for the night. now i feel bad about how much i bugged you about this year's halloween. my friends keep telling me to come out and join them, but if i'm being honest it's hard to do anything these days. it doesn't help that they think you just left me, ghosted me i guess. but they don't know what you do for work and i can't tell them. so i have to listen to them talk shit about you and i sit there trying to convince them you aren't this evil guy who ditched me and never looked back. maybe i should listen, maybe it's easier to believe you just left me than admitting to myself you're no longer here. i'm holding out, i'm trying so fucking hard to, tan. maybe in some sick joke you will pop up on halloween dressed in some stupid costume with a mask covering your face and in some grand reveal you will pull the mask off and i'll be in your arms again. it's wishful thinking. well, i have to go now, i'm meeting with a co-worker. love you.

dec 1st, 2022: i should be waking up this morning with your arms wrapped around me nearly crushing every bone in my body. but i didn't. and i haven't since the beginning of august. is it cruel now to admit i think you are gone. i really think you are and part of me has thought this since i saw the news of the bullet train. i feel scared. i'm starting to forget the little things about you. i can't play back the sound of your laugh in my head. i can't really picture the way your eyes crinkled. it makes me feel ill. i don't want to forget the small details about you. i crave to whisper goodnight and i love you to you. i crave just for your body next to mine. in the most innocent forms i crave you, like the way you'd absentmindedly play with my hair or pull out my chair or charge my phone when i always forget. the simple things i'm missing the most. i didn't realize i had so many forms of love until you've been gone. happy anniversary, dear.

jan 17th, 2023: tangerine, i'm not sure why i opened this email account. it's been over a month since i've checked it. maybe it was because i heard your favorite song earlier and thought of you a bit more than usual these days. i secretly hoped there would be a new message but that's foolish of me.

april 7th, 2023: Dear Tangerine, I know you won't read this email, but I felt as though I needed to explain what life has been like recently. My friends no longer bring you up in conversation which I am grateful for. I had to stop visiting our favorite breakfast place, each time I went they asked about you, even as recently as three weeks ago. I will miss their egg sandwich that you recommended to me on our third date but it is better off I no longer go there. Work has been great, a bit busy, but good. I removed your picture from my desk at the beginning of the new year. I saw the way my co-workers would stare a bit too long at it, I guess seeing it reminded them how I never mentioned you anymore. Speaking of co-workers, a few emails ago I mentioned I was meeting up with one of them. We've been seeing each other a lot outside of work, I enjoy their company. I can never say this to them but when they kiss me and hug me I sometimes think it's you. That's wrong to admit especially since I think I'm developing feelings for them, but they will never see this. They are kind and treat me well which I know you would be pleased to hear. I packed up your clothes in my house and put them in a box. I couldn't keep looking at them. I cried so much that I don't think I can cry again for years to come. I would hug your shirts and jackets so much that they lost your smell. I regret that a bit. I opened the box a few days ago and it smelled like me. Almost all signs of you are gone now that the remnants of your cologne is worn off the fabric. I think I might sell the house. It's too big for a single person now. It's too quiet in here and it almost feels like someone is watching me, it doesn't feel safe. Maybe that's because you provided me with safety. I'm not doing much today, it's actually pretty early right now, maybe I'll cook that dinner I never got to cook for you. I haven't since that day. I'm realizing how silly I sound in my own head as I type these words. Maybe I'll invest in a journal soon.

[skunaskitten]

The Affair chapter 5

AU: human ceo sukuna x female reader

Contains: fluff, smut, cheating, lying, unfaithful sukuna, falling in love, oral, talk about kids, guilty heart sukuna, mention of gojo

Summary: since sukuna's wife has come back he has been switching back and forth between you and her, not knowing who to finally choose. The choice between you or his company. Something strange is happening with his wife, he is seeing her in a new way maybe he can stay with her but with you in his life things are more complicated. Now he seeks help through one of his best worker and friend.

Master list of stories

chapter 4 ch5 chapter 6

 Sukuna was so lost in thought he couldn't do any of his work right, having to retype emails that he kept messing up on and reorganizing his paperwork. 

 His stress was rising to more than what he would like it to be. He didn't know what to do now. His wife had come back too early that put an obstacle in his plans with you.

 That night he didn't come to see you now that his wife was back home he needed to attend to her needs but when she escaped to the showers he took the moment to go into another room to call you. You were so excited to hear from him his heart felt like breaking. He felt bad for not seeing you telling you the excuse and lying that it was overtime at work. All you did was smile and tell him not to worry and to get some rest.

 Sukuna laid awake for most of the night tossing and turning in bed all the worries and guilt eating him alive. When his wife felt him struggling to go to sleep, with the tossing and turning. She put an arm around his body and nuzzled against his chest trying to calm him to sleep. He was confused why she was acting this way. Why the sudden change? She never really liked to cuddle as they got older in their relationship. 

 With the little comfort he had got tonight he was able to fall asleep but with the lack of a deep sleep he didn't want to go into work. His wife however rubbed his head laying there with him "my love stay in bed today I am going into the office. You look drained of life." She told him with a smile on her face.

 He grunted and turned over hiding his face to get more sleep making her giggle. She slipped out of bed to get dressed then walked out of the home heading to the office.

 Sukuna wanted to go see you but he could not risk anyone seeing him sneaking out. This was going to be a new challenge for him.

 On her breaks and lunches she actually came back to him checking to make sure he was doing well but that meant he couldn't sneak out if he wanted to. He had to call you to tell you he can't not see you today.

 When you heard the phone ring you ran over to it and jumped onto the bed seeing sukuna's number. You smiled and answered with a flirtatious "hello kuna."

 He smiled and said "hey darling I am sorry but work is kicking my ass right now so I won't be able to see you today." 

 "Oh well then you can see after work its fine sukuna I don't mind if you come over late. It might give you better sleep." A smile formed on your face. He rubbed the back of his neck saying "yea I can't tonight at all im sorry they are keeping me over." But he liked the idea of being in bed with you getting a good night's rest. You let out a little breath saying "that's ok kuna I will wait for you. I love you. You stay safe though take care of yourself I will see you later."

 He could hear how sad you are but he could not risk anything too soon,  he had to keep you on the low. 

 "I love you beautiful, I have to go now." 

 You said goodbye to him then let out a sigh looking at the phone after hanging up then just laid down onto your bed. Sukuna rubbed his face and went to the kitchen to get something to eat, feeling horrible for even leading you into his life like this only to push you away.

 Later that night while he sat on the couch his wife walked in with a smile. "hello love hope you feel better I made reservations at the restaurant to go to. I will go get ready. That is if you still want to go." 

 He nodded to confirm he was still going then watched her disappear down the hall to their bedroom as he sighed, laying his head back then got up and walked into the room seeing her getting undressed.  Her body would never compare to the likeness of you. He loves the natural plumpness of your ass and thighs, enjoying the way they wrapped around him everytime he thrusted into you. The size of your breast are perfect to him and loves to feel them in the palm of his hands or pressed against his chest.

 His wife giggled snapping him from his thoughts as she said "sukuna save it for later go get ready." She walked into their bathroom while he went  to look at the suits to wear. He just grabbed a simple black vest and red under shirt for tonight, nothing  fancy just as his wife came out dressed in red heels, black tight dress and hair tied up with make up dusting her face. "Lets go don't want to be late."

 During dinner his eyes darted everywhere looking for any sign of someone being strange or trying to get his picture. His wife noticed how quiet he had been ever since she came back from her trip. 

 "Hey ryomen are you alright you've been quiet and closed off ever since I came back what is wrong?"

 He smirked to her saying "darling nothing is wrong everything is fine just I never seen you like this for a long time now. Why the sudden change?" 

 She smiled and slid her hand over and squeezed his hand. "I told you I want to be better for you and I had a lot of thoughts about us so I am changing." He sighed and held her hand in his then brought it to his lips kissing her knuckle. "I missed you."

 The whole dinner felt normal to him again it wasn't her flirting with random men that walked by her or got her attention. Her focus was all on him. She was actually laughing and smiling at him and he felt happy that he was finally becoming part of her life again. He chuckled hearing the stories she told about her trip while she laughed with him.

 When they got home it was lips locked and his tongue diving into her mouth grabbing at her hips pulling her against him. Sukuna roughly picked her up pushing her against the wall giving bites to her neck making her moan out. He let out a growl and dropped her onto the bed then began to strip himself down to nothing. It was not easy for him to find lust through her; he had to think of you during the intercourse with his wife. The shameful thoughts of you. All because the guilt is eating him alive.

 As he thrusted into her hearing her bark his name it was all thoughts of you. Remembering the way your breast bounced with every thrust. When your warm walls squeezed around the thickness of his cock. Feeling your body mold to his like a perfect piece. His heart was so guilty his wife noticed him losing his rhyme.

 "Sukuna..cum inside me." 

He looked at her with wife's eyes saying "what?" She smiled at him "I want to..to have a family with you." 

 With a few more thrust she came around him screaming his name but he wasn't close yet so he stopped breathing hard cursing at his inner self. She looked at him with a smile and ran a hand across his cheek. 

 "Ryomen its alright? We can do it again later. I know it was just brought onto you but I think we should start having kids."

 His wife left him alone while she was in the bathroom and he laid down covering his face with a pillow. How dare she say this to him after years of not wanting kids. After he found you to fall in love with, now she wants to be the wife he always wanted. He heard the door open and her quiet footsteps until he felt hands grab his cock. He shuddered and went to move but she grabbed his wrist saying "relax let me help you."

 He could feel her hand squeeze and jerk his shaft making him hard again only with thoughts of you. He let out a groan then felt her lips wrap around his tip taking him deep within her mouth. Feeling her suck and jerk him all he remembered was you doing it, the way you took your time to pleasure and tease every part of him. "Ahh fuck darling." Sukuna bucked his hips and released his seed into her mouth as she swallowed all of him. 

 He had to admit its been a while since his wife did this to him but seeing her didn't please him like you did. Seeing how shy you were with his cum still on your lips and when you licked it away face full of innocence. Sukuna hated this back and forth with his heart. A plan needs to come quickly but either way it's going to lead to heartbreak.

 Over a week you have not seen sukuna in person. You talked to him over the phone but it didn't feel the same. You also walked to the chicken wrap stand ordering two wraps hoping he will show up and surprise you. He didn't show up so you sent him pictures of you with the wraps telling him you have an extra for him to have dinner with you.  But he just responded that he is busy at work, to much over time. He missed you dearly and it hurt his heart.

 You texted him throughout the day telling him how much you love him and miss him. That night you ate both wraps alone reading your books while trying to keep yourself away from bad thoughts.

 However during the following days your mood was bringing you down to a depressing state. You took a walk after work through the mall with your friends as they continued to bug you about sukuna. As they dragged you through different stores you were brought into a girly store. Your eyes caught the jewelry that was on display filled with both men and women items. 

 Your eyes scanned the display case and saw a thick black leather bracelet with a golden tiger on it. A smile formed on your face wanting to give a gift to sukuna as a thank you for the book. You bought it and got a black box with pink ribbon to tie around. You wrote his name across the box with a silver marker and added a heart to his name.

 You wanted him to come over as soon as possible because you were too excited for him to get his gift but he didn't answer your phone that whole night. Maybe he is really busy with work.

 Sukuna had to put his phone on silent during another dinner date with his wife she wanted to go on a nice little candle lit dinner at a small restaurant. It was just him and her sharing smiles and sending flirtatious smirks. Sukuna was completely forgetting about you. 

 He is starting to see a new light over his wife. She was actually changing and just maybe if this continues he can be in a happy marriage. To not have that worry about having an affair and the damage to his company.

 Surprisingly to sukuna his wife didn't ask for sex and all she wanted to do was cuddle him in bed with a movie on in the background. When she went to sleep, Sukuna took out his phone and saw all the messages from you. The reality came sinking into his world. The reality that he is having an affair and seeing all your messages of you missing him. You want to see him. You're feeling lonely. Asking if he was upset with you. He can see how hurt you felt for him ignoring you. This was the first time that he has been pushing you away.

 He gave you a text saying that he was fine, just tired. Maybe he can find a way to sneak out to you. Sukuna put his phone away and laid down hugging his wife.

 The next day he was wondering why his wife was not getting up and groaning. She just started her time of the month so she pushed him away like all the other times feeling the cramps. He tried to help her but she groaned and pushed against his chest telling him to leave. 

 He sighed and said "fine I guess I am leaving now call me if you need me. I won't be in the office. I am going to a meeting outside the company. Love you." His wife just groaned at him as he sighed and left her alone.

 Sukuna did go to the meeting talking about plans and making deals with the other men from different companies he has regularly met with.

 However, it ended four hours early. He thought of using this time to finally go and see since he had pushed you off for a whole week.

 When he got to your apartment he looked to see if anyone was nearby he recognized then quickly went to your door giving it a loud knock. He realized you didn't answer so he called you hoping you would answer but then he heard the ringing go to voicemail after two rings. He pulled his phone away from him, feeling his heart get heavy. Were you mad at him?

 Then hearing the door unlocked from the other side he perked up excited to see you when the door opened he saw you and smiled. "Hey darling."

 You looked at him with tired eyes and gave him a weak smile as you stepped to the side letting him in. As soon as the door closed you jumped straight into his arms hugging him tight. 

 He chuckled and held you close to him feeling his body get warm and his heart flutter. Being away from you so long he didn't realize how much his body missed you. It had a mind of its own and it wanted you only. He never felt like this when seeing his wife.

 You held onto him then let out a whimper of pain, he heard the sound and put you down worried then watched you crouch down into yourself holding your stomach. He crouched down to your level saying "what's wrong?"

 You shook your head and looked at him with pout. "It hurts kuna. My cramps." He looked at you in disbelief that both you and his wife started it the same time. Thinking you didn't want him around he hummed then said "do you want me to leave."

 "What?! Why would I want you to leave? I hadn't seen you in a week and now you want to leave. No dumb ass, I want you to stay with me. Please, I missed you so much."

 He gulped as you lunged back into his arms telling him to take you back to your room. Sukuna picked you up carrying you to bed and placed you down with a smirk. "So needy, pretty little thing." 

 His wife still never liked him being around when it was that time, she claims it is not attractive and makes her feel gross. You smiled at him but then looked away scrunched your face from the pain. Sukuna wanted to make you feel better. His hand slides over your hip and under your shirt to press it to your stomach and give it a gentle rub. Your eyes opened to look at him, seeing his handsome face and body dressed in his suit, making you smile with so much love for him as you raised a hand to cup his face and ran your thumb tracing his cheek and to graze over his lower lip.

 "I love you my kuna."

 He could feel his heart clench and ache hearing those words sounding so sweet from you. In a tone that he never heard from his wife it always sounds forced from her even till now when she is trying to force it out. 

 "Y/n do you have tea here?" You nodded "yes it's in the kitchen." 

 He pulled his hand from you saying "don't move, stay here I am going to try to fix you." He stood up hearing your giggles and said "kuna I am not broken I am just cramping."

 Sukuna gave you a smile and left your room heading to the kitchen looking through the place finally finding your stash of tea. He rubbed his neck looking through the boxes then froze feeling the necklace still around his neck. "Shit." He quickly took it off and stuffed it into his pocket then went back to find the herbal tea he was looking for.

 After brewing some hot water from your electric kettle he put a bag of chamomile and lavender tea with honey into your cat tea cup. A smirk formed on his face seeing the cup then went back to you. 

 "Here drink this love."

 You sat up as he sat next to you holding your cup carefully handing it over. "Oh you found the ones I usually drink for my cramps. I was too lazy and in pain to move to get them. Luckily I have you to rescue me." You said, giving him a little laugh.

 Hearing your laughs always makes his chest flutter happily, knowing he makes you laugh and happy. Sukuna took off his suit coat laying it on your bed to the side then laid down while waiting for you to drink your tea. You drank most of it and put it down on the table not caring about it any more because you just wanted to be in sukuna's arms after not seeing him for a while.

  He watched you turn to face him and lay down getting cozy under his arm and nuzzling against his chest. It was just silence between the two of you but the love could be felt in your room. His hand soothing your back gently. 

 Maybe your body just wanted him around because the cramps eased up after, probably sensing your man next to you. "Sukuna, I want to tell you something." He gave you a hum, his eyes closed enjoying your comfort.

 "Where have you been? Has work really been draining that much?" 

 He let out a heavy breath of air escape through his nose then pressed a kiss to your forehead.  "Yes work is stressing me out a lot too much over time I can not get a break."

 Your hand rubbed across his chest and led to his back rubbing him softly. "That sucks. I am sorry if I have been really annoying lately in wanting to see you all the time. I feel like a burden to you. Because you have your own life but I want to be part of it. Because I love you. And I am just worried that…you would not want me because I am too attached to you. I am sorry…kuna".

 He could hear your voice croak and sniffles coming from you and he instantly felt his heart tear. He moved and softly rubbed your cheek making you look at him. 

 "No beautiful, do not say those things about yourself. I am happy with you. I love you with all my heart. It's me that feels like I don't not deserve you and I really don't. You have shown me what it is like to be in love to have a normal relationship. I appreciate you and everything you do for me. I don't want anyone else besides you."

 A whimper escaped you as you nuzzled your face against his neck holding him tight. "Ryomen I love you more than my heart can handle."

 Sukuna spills more and more confessions to you everytime he is with you because you make his heart feel what he really wants. His wife is already to far gone from him to want her back. He needs and wants you.

 "Kuna, I got you a gift." He hummed curiously watching you move and turn to get into a drawer on your bedside table then pulled out a little black box with pink ribbon. "Here open it."

 Sukuna sat up holding the box smiling at the colors you chose and began to unwrap the box. You held your hands together playing with your fingers feeling butterflies in your stomach worried if he was not going to like it.

 He pulled off the top of the box seeing the bracelet inside and took it out to see the gold tiger charm. 

 "I know it's not much but I thought of you when I saw it and I wanted to get you something." 

 He smiled and pulled you saying "c'mere. I love it darling". You smiled and hugged him as he kissed your cheek. "Do you want me to put it on?"

 "Of course, I need to see if it's going to fit." Sukuna chuckled and took the bracelet to slip it over his wrist and pulled the little ropes tightening it. He lifted his arm to you saying "how does it look?"

 You smiled and held his hand turning his wrist to look at it against his skin. "Its perfect on you kuna." As sukuna laid down holding your body close to him he felt worse for even having to take off any of the gifts. He knows you be more upset if he stopped wearing the bracelet and ask questions. He will just have to tell his wife that it was a gift from one of the men during the conference meeting.

 When the time passed sukuna woke up from a nap then looked at you. You were still by his side and in his arms he noticed you were asleep. He tried to wake you but you were passed out sound asleep. He smiled and gave a  long kiss to your cheek and pulled away whispering 'I love you beautiful.' Sukuna grabbed his coat then left a note by your pillow telling you he had to leave and he loves you more.

 By the time you woke up it was dark outside and sukuna was not beside you leaving you with a sad expression and whimpered when you saw the note he left. You placed the note in your drawer and held the pillow he was laying on, getting a smell of his scent that comforted you. 

 You couldn't come up with the courage to tell him how you feel about him. How much you needed him beside you every night. How your heart yearns for him. You had many thoughts wanting to be his wife. But you are always too scared to tell him because of the fear he would not want that. So you kept them aside.

 You texted him that night to see if he was alright but you got no response and that was because sukuna was on the couch cuddling his wife making her giggle. Kissing her neck gave light bites to her ear as he poked her side. 

 Sukuna is playing with two women he knows it's wrong and he has to choose but not knowing what part of his life he wants. 

 Sukuna again didn't come to see you and only texted you for a few days leaving you alone with no response. You laid in bed hugging your pillow wondering what you did wrong. He became so distant lately. Tears filled your eyes and hid your face away from everything.

 He finally saw the messages seeing  you desperately trying to talk to him and saw the last message.

 'Fine I guess I will leave you alone. If you don't want me any more then tell me. You don't have to keep ignoring me.'

 "Fuck." He tossed his phone onto the passenger seat of his car gripping the steering wheel. He didn't know he could be so caught up in this life. He is ryomen sukuna ceo of his company and he is letting some little woman like you control his life usually that will piss him off.

 But deep down he liked it because he loves you. Being with you all this time always weighed his heart to you and he can not think of anyone else to be with besides you.

 He took out his phone calling the one person he could talk to about anything. 

 "Hey satoru we need to talk, meet me at the ramen shop I like. Thank you. See you there." 

 Sukuna drove off feeling his nerves rise, when he got there he let out a sigh and texted his wife saying he has a meeting outside the office to go to and will be home late. 

 Sukuna walked into the restaurant, seeing satoru's hand raise up calling out to him. He sighed and walked over taking a seat and already saw a drink in front of him. "Is this alcohol?"

 "Why would I do that if I know you are driving? So what dirty secrets do you want to tell me?" 

 Gojo leaned over the table resting his chin onto the palms of his hands. As sukuna cleared his throat to say, "so this talk is only between me and you also nanami if you want to fill him in." Gojo took a drink of his tea and looked to sukuna waiting.

"I am in love with another woman." 

 "No shit". Gojo said with a smile as he pulled down his sunglasses to look at his pink haired friend. Sukuna growled and looked at his drink. "Can I speak fully before  interrupting me with stupid remarks?" Sukuna then glared at him to make sure he understood, seeing gojo flick his hand to continue the talk. 

 "I met this little woman after I had gotten into a fight with the wife, she came home with hickies on her neck and told me it was no big deal. Stating she knows I cheat. I had enough of it so I left to get a break from her staying at my house. Then when I went walking to get chicken wraps I crashed into this woman."

 Satoru chuckled saying "you could have killed her with that body of yours." "Shut up!" Sukuna snarled lowly at him then continued.

 "I saw how cute and shy she was so I thought maybe I could get her into bed with my charm. But she didn't fall for it like most women do. So I made it my mission to try to get with her. The more I was with her the more I wanted a life with her. There is a lot more in detail of why but I won't get into it if you are smart enough to know."

 He looked down and rubbed his face feeling stressed.

 "When I got forced into this marriage I was fine and happy with it. Getting to fuck this beautiful woman that I was tied with not having to worry about anything else. Now being older I see the way two people in love looked at eachother and it was not the same look my wife gives to me. I want to have that life with a woman to go home and relax with her and have her wash away my stress and not give me stress. The woman I could finally experience romance with and have a family."

 Satoru had already seen how his friend had been acting lately. He wasn't so grumpy all the time and he has a different energy. Sukuna looked at gojo then pulled out his phone to show him a picture of you. The white haired man smiled, saying "she is cute." 

"Satoru, she showed me what it's like to be in true love. Everything about her is amazing, she is beautiful, sweet, cute, lovely." 

 "What about the sex?" Satoru asked as sukuna smirked and leaned back in his seat. "This little woman is sexy. She drives me crazy. She makes my heart flutter, swell and twist with passion. The sex feels amazing, let's just say I fit perfectly inside her."

 Sukuna leaned back over the table to say in a low tone "I love the way she tightens around my cock every time I bring her to pure bliss."

 Satoru shook his head with a smirk and said "you never change with those words ryomen."

 Sukuna leaned away again and looked at his tea. "Fuck satoru I don't know what to do? Now my wife comes back after this trip stating that she did not cheat on me and now she wants kids with me and is acting differently."

 Gojo hummed while taking a drink then looked at sukuna being serious. 

"You know this is a serious matter, this affair can be big trouble for the company."

"You think I don't know that". Sukuna growled out.

"Well what are you going to do?"

 Sukuna sighed and rubbed his face. "Gojo this is why I called you here to help me with this. I know I need to stay for the company but y/n is what I deeply want. I fell out of love with yami. And being with her doesn't feel right. Is it because I am guilty? Man, I sound pathetic talking about this."

 Gojo let out a laugh then said "that is a good thing you are having feelings it means you are human and not a demon like others say." Sukuna smirked saying "thanks I guess but that doesn't help."

 His friend smiled and pulled down his glasses to say "look ryomen just do what you want to do. I know that is what you do best. Whatever you choose I am still here for you. But I will say that little y/n girl she does do something to you that I can see. You look more alive with her."

 Sukuna had left the little talk with gojo and went straight to your place, parking outside the building and staring at your door. Debating if he should should just go home after all. But his heart string was pulling him to you. 

 He made his decision when he got out of his car and to your door and gave it a hard knock so you would hear him. He looked at his wrist smiling at the bracelet you gifted him. His wife did question it but she didn't bother with it after he told her it was a gift from a meeting.

 You heard a knock at your door thinking it was your friendly neighbor trying to bring cookies again. You opened it with a smile then froze in shock to see sukuna giving a soft smile. "Hey darling."

 You crossed your arms, giving him an unamused look. "What do you want? I am upset with you. You ignore me for days, then you just show up thinking everything is fine." Sukuna gulped and rubbed his neck saying "I am sorry."

 "You never want to talk to me kuna. I want you to talk to me about your life. What are you feeling? Tell me about your day. Tell me about what is bothering you. Even if it's stupid just talk to me please." He could see your eyes glaze over with tears, he hates to see you cry.

 "No no please don't cry I am sorry. I am dealing with so much bull shit at work. I lose track of time and I am too tired. My ex is bugging me again." He quickly stopped talking from over saying things. 

 "Is that why you are ignoring me? Your ex wife is talking to you again. So you ignore me to have your attention on her. Are you cheating on me?"

 You stepped away not wanting to say that and not wanting to know if it's true.

 Sukuna walked inside pushing passed the door then closed it behind him locking it. "No beautiful I am not cheating on you trust me. Please. I love you." Why was it so easy for him to lie to you?

 You didn't say a word just looking at him annoyed with yourself and him, not knowing what else to say to sukuna. He gulped and said "please say something." "Why?" 

"Because I love you."

You looked away saying "do you?"

 Sukuna felt a sting in his heart. Fine if you think he doesn't then he will just have to show you. With the thing you love to have over and over again. He walked closer to you and grabbed your face then smashed his lips to yours. 

 You wanted to be mad at him but you couldn't stay mad not with his intoxicating lips trying to devour you when you opened your mouth letting his tongue pass through across your lips. You let out a desperate moan into his mouth. 

 Sukuna then grabbed your hips pulling you flush against him and quickly pulled his lips away only to latch them to your neck. You tilted your head back letting him attack your neck with love bites marking you. "Ryomen.." You love the way they feel against your skin. He makes you melt every time.

 "I am sorry for staying away from you because of work. But I can't stop thinking of you and having you in every way." He told you and went to squeeze your ass hearing a gasp coming from you. "Kuna hold on." He froze and pulled his hands away to watch you pull off your clothing just leaving you in underwear as he let out a growl mixed with a groan.

 Sukuna attacked you again with his hands and lips. You moaned letting him have full access to your neck then he started taking off his jacket and shirt leaving everything on the floor. Just seeing his bare chest and abs covered with his black markings on full display his pants hanging low around his hips. 

 "Sukuna takes me to the room." You jumped into his arms as he carried you to the bedroom and kicked your door closed then pressed your back against the door with your legs wrapped around his hips. 

 Sukuna continued to lick and softly suck your neck while grinding himself against you, his lips trail over your collar bone going down to your breast taking a nipple into his mouth. You could feel his tongue swirl around your peaked nub giving attention to the other breast. Moans escaped from you while arching your back wanting to be flush against his skin.

 The feeling of his hard length ready to break through with every push against you. Your hand ran through his hair lightly pulling on it. "Sukuna take me please I need you in me." He gave you a light bite to your neck then pulled you away from the door to take you into the bed and dropped you in it. Feeling your back lay across your blankets, you looked at him. He could see your cheeks tinted pink and breast perked.

 "Fuck your sexy baby." You shudder at his word as it sends a tingle through your body hearing that deep tone of his lustful voice. Sukuna took off his pants as you looked away sliding off your panties and spread your legs for him. He chuckled with a proud smirk while removing his underwear then grabbed his shaft pumping himself while getting onto the bed again. Your eyes drifted to him seeing his thick cock in his hand while you bit your lip. 

 "Be a good girl yea and play with yourself." He heard a whimper from you and watched your hand trail down your body and settled between your legs. 

 His eyes were on you, watching you rub circles over your clit then plunge a finger into yourself then back to your clit. Your hips bucked a little with soft moans leaving you but you ached for something more. 

 Sukuna licked his lips, jerking himself squeezing his cock with a groan. "Yea that's it, good girl. You are such a good girl that maybe I should reward you with this yea?" 

 You stopped pulling your hand away and looked to see him stroking himself then nuzzled his hips between your legs. 

"Sukuna, yes please. Just fuck me already".

"As you wish my love." 

 He gave you a smug smirk then pressed his tip to your entrance as he  braced himself with his hands leaning over the top of you. His eyes locked on yours, you could see the lust mixed with love through his eyes. As he pushed all the way in as you moaned feeling him stretch you to the thickness of him. 

 Sukuna already began to thrust his hips going deep into you. He went slow at first to build that high you love so much. Your hand roamed his chest and shoulders then found their way into his hair as he leaned forward to capture your lips in a deep loving kiss. Your legs squeezed around him then nudged him to talk. 

 "Kuna go faster and harder. I want you to fuck me." He grunted with satisfaction then raised up to grab your wrist and held them above your head while he slowly rocked into you.

 You never saw this side of him before seeing him be so dominant but caring at the same time it turned you on so much. He could feel you pulse around him from this new action making him smirk. "Oh you like this darling? Want me to go faster and harder?"

 You gave him a nod with a response "yes more kuna." He let go of your wrist and gripped your legs to hike then higher over him folding you. 

 With every hard and faster thrust of his cock pressing against that good spot bringing you closer to your release. Moans of his name spilled from you hearing his deep moans and hot breath against the skin of your neck. Your hands tried to grip every part of his body holding onto his neck and the other around his shoulder. This man is everything to you and you want nothing else in life besides him.

"Ryomen…ryomen don't stop, keep going." 

 Sukuna's thrust turned into a rut, feeling his cock swell ready to release. With every pound of his hips you heard your bed creak. Moans and heavy breathing filled your room. Your nails started to dig into his back feeling the knot twist inside you. Sukuna looked at you, his eyes half lidded and leaned up to get a deeper thrust letting his body take control.

 Staring into his eyes feeling so close and the tears formed, glossing your eyes from all the emotion. "Sukuna..s..sukuna." you called out to him as he did the same.

"Beautiful..love."

 Finally feeling that snap of pure bliss you threw your head back scraping your nails across his skin on his back pulling him closer to you. "Ryomen! Sukuna!..ahh sukuna!"

 You yelled his name creaming around his cock making it easier for him to slide all the way deep with the last few pounds he moaned deeply and louder than before slamming his hips against you and poured his thick milky seed into your womb. Sukuna pushed so far and gripped the blanket under you groaning your name. He hoped to breed with you for how deep he knows his seed went inside you, he wants a life with you.

 He carefully laid on top of you,still feeling himself pulse inside you and breathed heavily in sync with your breathing. Your arms wrapped around his neck keeping him close to you not wanting to let go. 

 Hearing your heart thump loud against your chest. As Sukuna slowly pulled out, you let out a breath of air feeling the pressure of his cock leave you and already missing the feeling of him. But he kept his face nuzzled in your neck and his arms snaked around your body.

 You didn't care about the pressure of his body resting on you weighing you down. You love him to stay close to you. Your hands went into his hair softly stroking his pink locks as the other drifted to his back to rub him. All your emotions started to hit you as tears filled your eyes.

 Sukuna felt you breath hard then heard you whimper and squeezed around him with more soft whimpers and sniffles. "Why are you crying beautiful." 

 You buried your face into his neck letting cuddling into his arms and held onto him, he could feel the hot tears against his chest escaping from your eyes. 

 "Ryomen all I want is you. I don't care about anything else in my life except for you. I want to be with you for as long as I live. You make me happy. You make me feel loved. Your arms are warm, and safe. I love to be in them. And I don't want to lose you. I am sorry if I upset you somehow. But fuck ryomen sukuna I love you. You are my home and my heart. You mean the world to me. I..I love you."

 Sukuna's heart broke and for the first time he wanted to cry because you are all he wants and he is going to lose you fast if he doesn't do something about it.

 His mind is finally set on the next step. After tonight when he goes back he needs to divorce and get you in his life. But that would mean he needs to tell you the truth

 "Y/n would you want to marry me? Am I good enough?"

 You moved back slightly to look at him in shock saying "what do you mean? Of course you are good enough I will marry you in a heartbeat. Why?"

 He smiled and pulled you back against his chest saying "just thinking. Let's get some sleep, love you wore me out."

 You giggled kissing his chest then leaned up out of his arms to grab an extra blanket to put over him and you. "Goodnight kuna I love you." He smiled, saying "love you more sweet dreams beautiful." In an instant with the comfort in each other's arms, sleep took you both quickly.

 His wife looked at the time seeing it was way past midnight and she was still up waiting for sukuna to get home. She scoffed and walked into the room. "This fucking stops now. He belongs to me." 

 She picked up her phone calling someone waiting for them to answer and when they did she smiled wickedly.

 "Hello I need a favor. Yes, to track something. Can you find where this number is located?" She gave the person sukuna's phone number and said "send me the address when you find it please and thank you. You will be getting a payment for being so helpful, thank you." 

 About a few minutes later she got a notification on her phone and smiled wide seeing the info. "Sukuna say goodbye to your little slut." 

oh what is this woman planning?! Things are about to go down. Sukuna just made his final moves in his mind to be with you.

Thank you for reading!

[stealingyourbones]

I know nothing about Darkseif except what you've explained, but didn't you mention he has a son? I submit: Enemies-to-Lovers redemption arc between that guy and Danny.

Bonus, Danny is penpals with someone in the Teen Titans and they've been giving him advice without actually knowing Danny's true power or who the other party is.

HE DOES HAVE A SON!!

Ok so I myself don’t know tOO much about him but the entire thing with his son is a whole fuckin tHing.

In short summary: The rulers of Apokolips and New Genesis were gonna swap sons as a means of a truce (spoiler alert: Darkseid didn’t keep the truce.)

Darkseid took All Father’s son and tortured the fucker and trapped him in so many various torture devices that he eventually became a master at escape. He became Mister Miracle, otherwise known as Scott Free. I know a LOT about mister miracle but he isn’t the person in question here.

The person in question’s name is Orion the War God. It truly depends on what story you read. Either he is able to quell his rage and goes on adventures with a bunch of New Gods and helps with issues that normally center around earth, or he cannot quell his anger and rage and embraces his heritage. He overthrows Darkseid as the Ruler of Apokolips and goes to harness the Anti-Life equation to destroy Earth.

I really haven’t read much that focuses on Orion besides a few New Gods comics by Jack Kirby. They are truly a work of art.

(Orions helmet is sometimes steel, sometimes purple, sometimes blue. Gotta love color inconsistency. Oh and for those who have only watched the Young Justice tv show, that red fucker is what Forager’s original design looks like.)

I love love love the interpretation of Orion in the Young Justice cartoon. His primary debut is in Rocket’s character Arc in the 4th season. The dude is autistic and is used as a vessel to help Rocket grow as a person and help her stop her neurotypical biases. In the show he tries his best to be a good person even though his entire bloodline and race fully goes against that morality. It’s really hard but he grows as a person as well and learns to accept himself as he is and use his rage to help others. (Oh also he’s literally one of the best autistic characters I’ve ever seen in animated media. Like genuinely it made me really happy to see that they went above and beyond and let this man kick some ass and show he’s powerful as hell.)

I love YJ Orion with my heart and soul. That version of Danny I could absolutely see have an enemies to lovers arc with Danny. The comic version is really a pure villain and even worse than Darkseid.

Also everyone say thank you to Jack Kirby for his wild ass designs because look at this fuckers outfit:

He looks so funky. Imagine a man with that outfit meeting Danny. First thing Danny would comment on would be his wild ass clothing choices.

———

Oh I love the idea that Danny is a pen pal with a titan. Big question is who? It would be neat for Beast Boy or Raven to be his penpal and slowly get some clues that something is off with this kid. Not off enough to say “wow this kid is a superhero.” But in the sense that they might think something is off in his living situation. They’re both glad that they have a friend they can talk to about just mundane stuff and not have to worry about superheroism for the few minutes a day they read and respond to each others letters/emails.

[kats-fic-recs]

Best Bnha fics I read in 2022

per my last email

In America, Izuku is assigned a pen pal from Japan. Bakugou-san threatens him daily and curses all too often, but he answers Izuku’s questions and shows interest in his dreams. Oceans away in Musutafu, Katsuki enrolls in the mandatory English language course. His pen pal is a pain in his ass and asks way too many fucking questions.

They're supposed to be learning a new language. Instead, they discover why crushing on someone across the globe is not the best idea.

sunshine

“I see,” Ashido claps her hands together, “aww, you ran into a danger zone with no hesitation to save your childhood friend from the clutches of a villain! That’s so sweet!”

If only it was that simple . “I guess,” Izuku shrugs, “it’s complicated.”

“Tell me,” Ashido says, “sometimes talking to a neutral party about your problems is helpful! I can give you advice for whatever your situation is with this Kacchan .”

----------

or, izuku meets mina ashido when they're in middle school. and with a little push from a new friend, he gets kacchan back, too.

my heart's already been sold

“'At aw you ding?”

“That’s not Japanese,” Kacchan says, pushing his hands in further. “You sound like a fish.”

Bakugou keeps squishing Izuku's cheeks and walking away with zero explanation. Izuku is so, so gone for him.

The Distance Between Suns

What happens when a war tears you apart and then brings you back together?

Bakugo Katsuki and Midoriya Izuku spent years wondering if they would ever see each other again. Izuku, a prisoner in the walls of Court learning to navigate the trials of political warfare, and Katsuki, a forgotten child soldier whose enemies are not what they seem.

Years on opposite sides of the world changed them into what they needed to be to survive, but if there was one thing they never let themselves forget, it was the other. When the collapse of the ruling monarchy brings them colliding back together, will they be able to survive in the rapidly changing world around them and do what they need to save it?

Will they be able to survive each other?

Forget-Me-Not

"Do you remember what he we do every morning?” Hizashi placed his hand on top of his husband’s.

“I’m Aizawa Shouta. I’m a pro hero and teacher. I’m married and have two children. Hitoshi is in my class, training to become a hero, and we rescued Eri from Overhaul. She is still learning to control her quirk. I am working on a case about the League of Villains.”

Today wasn’t a good day, then.

“That’s really good, Shouta. But that was almost 30 years ago.”

Or, taking care of a husband with a slowly worsening memory loss, you’d have good days and bad days. For Hizashi, anniversaries were one of the hardest.

(may the bridges i have burned) light my way back home

Since Bakugou Katsuki discovered the secret of One for All, he and Midoriya Izuku have been slowly repairing the friendship they once had. They still haven’t talked about it—but Izuku’s certain that it’s only a matter of time before they manage to lay the past to rest.

But when the League of Villains attack the Sports Festival and Bakugou takes a devastating blow meant for Izuku, the whole nation is suddenly paying attention to a relationship the two people involved barely understand. Izuku needs more than ever to figure out who he and Kacchan are to each other—preferably before the internet does.

or,

“Fuck you,” Bakugou said. “I don’t need a whole face to kick your ass.”

the chaser and the chase

“This is a love story, Midoriya,”

“No, it's not. It’s crime/mystery,”

Or the one wherein Izuku writes the best selling book of the year and confesses to Katsuki at the same time.

you left a sour aftertaste

Izuku and Katsuki aren't together anymore. To take up his time, Izuku joins his school's band club, becomes the lead singer, makes some impulsive decisions, and accidentally gets a little famous. All because he's downright heartbroken, and Katsuki isn't (or at least, he doesn't look it).

Maybe some people were just meant to find their way back to each other. It might take a few stumbles, though.

don't be a stranger

“Not even a thank you for your friendly neighborhood Spiderman?” Izuku called out teasingly. “Where are you going?”

“Why the fuck do you wanna know, creep?”

“You sure you can make it back home safe?”

Katsuki glanced back angrily and flipped him the bird. “Eat shit, bugboy.”

Bugboy. That was new.

In which Izuku is Spiderman, Katsuki is nosy, and juggling high school and vigilante work has never been so difficult when your best friend is convinced that something’s up.

Or, five times Katsuki almost finds out that Izuku is Spiderman. One time he actually does.

Editor Denki & the No Good Mary Sue

Bakugou has a VERY original character that he's been writing about for a while. Just a hot-tempered prohero who's absolutely unstoppable, extremely cool, and a badass quirk that bears a striking resemblance to his own.

Unfortunately, according to poor Kaminari Denki, the guy's romance seems pretty half-baked. Which is crazy, because Bakugou didn't write a romance! He just included his stupid childhood friend in a few- okay, a lot- of the scenes, and Denki somehow got the wrong idea. Of course, Bakugou refuses to take an insult lying down, and sets about figuring out how to make Deku a compelling character for a beautiful romance- and accidentally learns some things about himself in the process.

with excerpts from Bakugou Katsuki's self-insert fan novel in all their glory.

Bare Your Soul In Ink

Writing isn't something you need a quirk for either. For all of human history, people have been telling stories. Weaving words together to form new things is built into our DNA on a level so much deeper than quirks are.

Writing could even help me escape from my life. I could hide behind a pen name, and then no one would have to know that the book in their hands was written by someone quirkless.

Yet here I am, writing about… the fact that I am quirkless.

When Izuku suddenly finds himself famous for writing a book about his life as a quirkless person, it leads to a reunion he never would have expected.

Me Myself and My Wingman

Katsuki’s wings were as magnificent as his quirk, and when they worked in tandem, it was nothing short of breath-taking. Katsuki cut through the air like a lash of fire, his blasts propelling him as his wings fanned out with the same ferocity of an avenging angel.

Izuku is in love with him, and doesn’t plan on doing anything about it.

(Unfortunately, his wings are quite determined to woo Katsuki by themselves.)

A Love Song from the Deep

His pod has always feared the Dragons, the alien clan that dwelled among volcanic vents of the deep, and with good reason. No one has seen one in generations, but Izuku heard stories of blind, listless things that drifted along the sea floor like ghosts.

Wherein Izuku is a curious merman, and his new friend is very fascinating.

How to Train Your Useless Dragon

Bakugou Katsuki needs to kill a dragon to take its teeth and become a warrior of his tribe.

But, what? Why the fuck doesn't this dragon have teeth?

Written from the promp "What if Izuku was the dragon?"

Shamelessly How to Train Your Dragon inspired.

if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

There's very few people that a daemon will seek touch from outside of their holder or other daemons. Best friends, even if Izuku wanted to believe that he'd ever sincerely been that for Kacchan, are rarely one of the exceptions.

By when Izuku's life has come crashing down —by when he's left with the option of staying still until he turns to dust or walk walk walk on the shards until he bleeds—, he already knows his relationship with Kacchan has always been an anomaly.

It's only later that he discovers that what's really extraordinary is Adara.

Bright Stars

There had been rumors of a Human who wasn’t performing well in fighting rings, constantly ignoring their lesser opponents and trying to go after the very loud, very violent crowd instead.

or

Not only did Hizashi allow himself to be caught by the alien trafficking ring he and Shouta were trying to bring down, he's also stuck in a cell with a Deathworlder.

It goes better than expected.

[liminalmemories21]

I sent you ask a while back which you didn't want to answer at the time because spoilers. Maybe you just don't want to answer it, which is obviously fine, but just in case you forgot about it, I'll ask again. I reread the entire Knave series after you posted the latest installment and reading it all in one day, it kind of jumped out at me that Carlos is a really passive character in the series. TK is the one solving the mysteries, taking on the bad guys, kicking ass. Carlos just mostly waits for TK. Especially in the 3rd story. I kept waiting for Carlos to get involved or to solve something but he never does. This is not a criticism, I love the series, and your 2023 writing round up has me itching to read the entire series again, your writing and it's the relationship between TK and Carlos that is the best part of the series for me, the mystery and the art stuff is the wonderful icing on top. I'm just curious about why Carlos is mostly sitting on the sidelines. Was it just the way it worked out, or was it a deliberate writing choice, and if it was would you mind talking a little about why you made that decision?

Sorry, sorry! I have a curse where if a message gets marked as read my mind immediately forgets it. I have to keep messages open or marked as unread if I want any hope of remembering to answer them. My work computer is just a mass of open emails so I get annoyed enough by them to answer them.

So, firstly, thank you for reading. I'm glad you like the stories.

SPOILER SPACE for anyone who doesn't want to read further.

Secondly, it's an interesting question, and not one I'm quite sure how to answer. I don't think I'd considered Carlos as passive in the stories when I was writing them.

Someone in one of the comments on Knave 1 asked for TK running a con, which is honestly what I thought Knave 2 was going to be when I started writing it, but then it turned into something else entirely. But, I did want it to be about Carlos being good at his job - about putting the pieces together. Some of that was finding and understanding the clues that TK was leaving him, but some of it was also him figuring out what was suspect even before then. I wanted it to be about him knowing TK, which gave him the kind of faith he needed to believe in TK even in his absence.

But, on a broader level I also wanted Knave 2 to be about Carlos being in a place where he could have the kind of conversations with his parents that he hadn't been able to have when he was 17. And, he was in that place because of his relationship with TK, and the way that's evolved in the year he's been with TK and the way they've both grown together and can buttress each other when they need it.

Knave 2 was about Carlos's past, so I wanted Knave 3 to be about TK's past. And, I can see how Carlos might come off as passive in that context, because he is kind of waiting for TK to come home. He can't make that choice for TK, and he can't tell TK what to do, because that's not a kind of relationship that he wants.

The story is - on purpose - about TK making a decision to stay and making the commitment to his future, because I wanted it to mirror the S3 moment where TK goes all in on their relationship and chooses it with both hands and his whole heart. And that was going to look a little different in this universe, but I wanted Knave 3 to be about TK's past and TK's future with Carlos.

I think there's also something about the stories being from Carlos's POV that maybe feeds into some of the perception that maybe he's passive? He is fascinated by TK, because TK is magnetic (because he's a Neal Caffrey simulacrum). We don't necessarily get the way that TK sees Carlos because we aren't inside TK's head (I personally find getting inside TK's head incredibly hard, which is why I very rarely write TK POV). But I'm not sure I meant that to come off as things only happening to Carlos without agency.

I'm not sure if this really answers your question or not, but it has been interesting to examine what I was trying to do & whether or not I pulled it off, so thank you.

[muzzledrum]

"Take me slow" PRT 3

Papa Copia x reader

warnings: obsessed Terzo, witchcraft, angst, fluff, hinted violence

terzo and her sit down for a talk about the past, and how it could help the future.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She stepped out of the shadows and straightened her habit, she was standing in front of their bedroom and patted her veil down then took a deep breath before she opened the door with a smile, followed by an immediate frown as she saw Copia draped over their velvet couch. Somehow even less dressed than how she left him. He sat up putting his feet on the ground and crossing his legs all while only wearing his boxers, his reading glasses slipped down when he looked up from his book and attempted a smile, clearly he was not thrilled having this much alone time. She slipped her heels off and set them by the door next to Copias dress shoes.

 “Cara! How are you my love? You look tired”  he tilted his head and frowned.

“Just a small hiccup, just some last minute paperwork tossed on me” she half smiled and walked over joining him on the couch. She wrapped his arms around him and leaned into him, worry grew on his face as he adjusted his arm to wrap around her. She rubbed circles with her thumb on his forearm and looked down at the ground deep in thought. “Should I tell him? Should I explain myself to him? We’ve never had sex after all these years he owes an explination. we always tease each other, it's wrong” she was jostled from her thoughts as he rubbed her shoulder “you okay? Paper work really, eh what's the phrase? Kicked your ass?” he smiled empathetically with his furrowed brows. “Just thinkin my love that's all” she put her hand over his and gave a reassuring nod. He frowned but relented, he scooped her up tenderly and brought her to the bed. “We can skip showering tonight, Si? It can wait till tomorrow you need rest” he looked down on her lovingly. In his thoughts he admitted he longed for her body, to do more than just touch. He had taken care of himself earlier but it wasn’t enough. He wanted her. “Am I not enough? Does she not want my body? Does she only love me because I was a cardinal?” he was ashamed he thought these things more freely as time went on, he loved her, but maybe she didn’t love him as deeply. His insecurities always ate him alive during these times when he wanted her the most. She laid on his chest and peeled her head veil off.

“I have a meeting with Terzo tomorrow, i'm not sure when he wasn’t in a good mood to give details” she whispered, any louder and her voice would crack giving away that it was not a pleasant meeting. He only nodded and brushed Y/N’s hair to the side

“Is that all that’s bothering you? I’m sure it’s nothing” he smiled and brushed his hand through her hair. “She still calls him Terzo” the thought pained him but he couldn’t understand why, did she make love to him? Was he enough? He only rubbed his face annoyed with his own thoughts. He wanted to talk to Terzo personally for help, to settle his mind. He picked up his phone, it lit up as he sent a quick email over to Terzo asking to talk to him in private and promptly closed his phone, setting it down with a click. When he looked she was already asleep. That's how it’s always been, she makes one small comment that makes him think he can finally show her love in the way he knows best, and then she always falls asleep. She probably doesn’t even realize, he smiled helplessly thinking about it. He laid back and spent the night alone with his thoughts eating him alive.

It was noon, Copia and Y/N were sharing lunch when a crisp knock was on the door. The crisp knock was a novelty within the abbey, always the sign of a ghoul. She hung her head and went to stand. “All get it my love” copia reassured, already halfway to the door. When he pulled the one door open he smiled. A tall slim ghoul with long twisting horns. He held a black letter sealed with a purple wax emblem. His voice gruff but quiet “you have an hour to get ready, I will return to walk you there” copia took the letter and closed the door. The endless formalities were exhausting and taxing to her “why send a letter if the ghoul will tell me all I need?” She looked up and nodded at the copia, taking the letter from his hands and popping it open. In the only sentence he wrote, her blood was boiling. 

“Sister Bathory,

I hope you haven’t forgotten our ultimatum last night, don’t worry about dressing formally. We’ll be talking over tea on the balcony. Plan accordingly.

-your love”

She closed the letter and promptly shredded the letter in her lap, your love she thought. What fucking nerve did this man have to bring all this audacity in a single sentence. She stood up and went to her closet. Copia sat slightly confused as he looked at the scraps of paper strewn over the table. She threw on a long black linen dress and a black wool cardigan. “I need to go on a walk, he’s gonna chew me out today over the papers” he knew what she meant, she needed to clear her mind. But he was astounded. He never saw her so upset, she was always patient and calm. Why did Terzo have to do this to his love? To him? She gave a quick peck on his cheek as she walked out the door mumbling `` I love you. His phone buzzed and he looked down. Terzo responded “I’d love to speak with you papa, why don’t I stop by in an hour or so?”  Copia sent his confirmation that it was fine and went to take a shower and put his paint on.

She spent the hour walking back and forth in the gardens. Pacing endlessly until the time ticked down. The ghoul found her waiting on a bench and promptly ushered her to Terzo’s office. When the door was opened for her she looked promptly pissed. Terzo turned in his chair and raised his hand to welcome her in. she quickly shut the door and started 

“you have some fucking nerve, the absolute nerve to send me a letter like that. I look forward to the day I can send you to heaven personally.”

“I brought you here to talk, not whatever the hell this little act is, sister.” he scorned back

“Well here I am so you better make some damn good points” her face twisted in anger as he began to laugh.

“Or what? What will you possibly do? Hell knows you neglect to even try witchcraft. You're no better than any other sister in this church…for now” he gestured to the seat in front of him and she begrudgingly sat.

“much better!” he clapped his hands together. 

“What is there to talk about Terzo? I can't comprehend why you continue to be in places you aren’t meant to be” she bit back 

“Remember the night I found out?” he asked flatly. She looked at him confused but nodded. He continued “after long years of dancing around each other, we finally stepped over the line into lust.-``''I know what happened Terzo I was the-” he raised his hand and glared at her before he picked back up

. “Yes, you were there. I don’t need to tell the tale again. But I was hurt, and now we’re both cursed with what we did” 

“You mean what I did, I enchanted you and did so much more, satan knows and now you are tied to me until the grave and then a little longer. Did you come here to hang that over my head? Convince me to leave him and come groveling back to you?” 

“No, no cara mía. Not here, not now” he sighed and stood up, gesturing for her to follow him to the balcony. When they stepped out, the ghoul awaited them already with tea and snacks. They sat down in a moment of silence before he placed his hand over hers “with all of my heart, please. Tell him before you lose him. He loves you deeply and even I wonder if he’s enchanted. The point is…” he drifted off looking down before taking a drink of tea and gulping it down. 

“The point is, and I am begging you. Please don’t hurt him like you hurt me, I know that my curse was miniscoual to the hell you unleashed on earth, but please, living with this every waking moment is…in no other way to say it, hell. It is how Christians view hell as unending agony. Don't do that to him, not him” he clenched his fists and looked at the ground. He had betrayed his own thoughts, they screamed at him and begged him to take her. Take her away from that bastard. “Patience” he kept telling himself, patience. She slouched in her seat processing what he told her, part of her wanted to yell at him, wanting to tell how it wasn’t his business and that she was better than that now.

 But she knew how vulnerable he was, she knew how deeply it meant to him and for a moment she saw Terzo, the boy who was foolish, smitten and dedicated. But after the incident they slowly drifted apart. Mostly her own fault by pushing away his constant need for her. And after that, she lost her terzo. The terzo that took his place was sex fueled, hungry and lost, needing relief from this curse she had put on him. She looked up and rubbed the ring on his finger. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry you are suffering…but I can't,” her voice began to crack. “I can’t tell him, I don’t know what to do. I can't give him what I want but it can’t keep going like this. I love him and I can't leave because I’m selfish” her eyes watered, threatening to drip into her tea. 

He paused before leaning forward. “You're seeing it the wrong way, witchcraft comes from carnal lust, which is a woman's insatiable desire. You need to learn witchcraft in order to control it. You're older now, wiser. You casted this curse not even aware because we were….in passion you see?” she up and her gaze softened “you bring up the curse, but the scars, the flesh wounds, there was so much blood, I barely remember any of it but it's more than just hexes, curses and enchantments. I can’t. But I can’t lose him.” 

“Tell him” he whispered

“I can’t”

“No, you won't. You're proving that you never grew from your mistakes” 

He stood up and stretched lazily. “I’m sending you over to the clergy library, you will learn witchcraft and I'm ordering it as papa. I'm sorry to cut us short my love." he straightened himself and smiled "But I have been summoned by papa” she looked up alarmed and in a growing anger, before she said anything he raised a finger. “He summoned me, not the other way around. You're right, it's not my place to tell him.” he tugged his coat on and checked his paint in the mirror before finally heading to the door, the ghoul already opening it for him. “By the way…does our dear Copia know how short your temper actually is?” he grinned as he walked out back into his character.

[itwoodbeprefect]

belated writing emoji asks, if you still feel like answering

🤡🦅👀

(these look weirdly big for some reason, apologies!)

ooh, this looks like an interesting horror story. a GIANT clown is about to be attacked by a HUGE bird but unbeknownst to either of them... disembodied eyes (BIG ones)... are watching... 👀 (but bigger)

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh? & 🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

hee, you and @luredin had similar brainwaves it seems, because she also started with both of these in the same order! i answered them here, but i can come up with another example for the clown: in Johnny Lawrence vs. The Computer: A Tale of BOOP (a cobra kai fic) i was definitely cackling while writing some of johnny’s internal monologue around tech. he’s canonically awful with it to the point of parody (he's never owned a computer before! he's not a nerd!), which is obviously a great starting point, and this fic is essentially about johnny (briefly) drunkenly trying to catfish daniel and then getting mad about it, while he also just doesn’t understand how anything works:

The thing that makes the internet so great and also so much worse than the real world is that everything is really impersonal. You don’t hear people talk, you don’t see their faces, and you sure as hell can’t kick their ass through a wifi. So who’s gonna know if Johnny decides to play a prank on LaRusso and pretend he’s someone else? Who’s gonna figure out he’s not Jennifer Smith, a hot single mom with really great honkers who’s looking for a strong man to sell her a car?

Johnny types the email, sends it, laughs to himself about it for a bit (LaRusso is going to look so dumb if he thinks Johnny is actually a hot single mom with great honkers) and then wakes up hungover the next day and forgets all about it.

Until his computer goes BOOP.

There’s a fresh email in his internet.

there’s also a bit where he feels pretty smart for knowing that his email adress has a typo in it, because even he knows it’s email, not gmail - and a reference at the end to johnny having ongoing email exchanges with “half a dozen African princes with really naïve ideas of money management” (because there’s a scene in canon where he gives his information to all kinds of spam/conspiracy websites, iirc), which is of course a very obvious joke, but i just like the idea of that a lot. everyone’s wasting their time in those interactions, and they probably all deserve it.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

well. for the starsky watches westerns fic i’ve recently been googling pretty cowboy hats, and it led to what’s probably going to be the first kiss scene! i keep changing the color of hutch’s hat though, so that’s yet to be decided.

also, yesterday i finally watched 1971’s zachariah, which was exciting because a) i learned i should have done that much earlier (not the painful warhol-esque experience i was dreading at all!!! honestly an almost perfect movie! and oh my god, that poster) and b) it (arguably together with blazing saddles, and maybe one or two others i still need to actually watch) throws a delicious spanner in the works for the central thesis of the fic so far, which was something like “if you’re a queercoded cowboy (in the movies), you’re probably going to end up dead (so what does that mean if i see us in them)” - and i’m sticking with that, but it’s great to be able to paint in more than one shade. (not only does zachariah not die, he gets a happy end! with his cowbff boyfriend buddy partner! after they start the movie by shOOTING A HOMOPHOBE. like i said, an almost perfect movie, and very exciting stuff to me.)

i also wrote some louise content (the guinea pig, i’m stubbornly keeping her as a part of this) that i could probably have used for the clown answer. while they’re watching red river:

“That’s a nice-looking gun you were about to use back there,” says Cherry Valance, and Starsky, his eyes newly opened, is left almost breathless from the impact.

“Don’t look,” he says, and cups a hand over Louise’s little face, because what’s happening on screen - those guys fondling each other’s guns, making them go off - it’s downright indecent.

send me emojis (if you want)!🌈  

[daemon-404]

when i was 13, i was kicked off of discord for being too young. my dearest friends were in there, and i didn't have any way to tell them; i didn't want them to think something bad had happened to me. so i made a new account.

i didn't want my parents to find out i was still using it. so i made a plan.

i- a 13 y/o, who didn't know jack about computers- followed my shortcut to the original file in the local appdata folder. i renamed the program to h0mb0g.exe, like humbug (beats me why, it sounded like the name of a chatroom program). i didn't want it to show up as "discord" in the weekly summary email microsoft sent to my parents.

that wasn't enough. i hid it. i hid it deep in a subdirectory in the local appdata folder. i hid it in the folder for vivaldi, the browser i somehow got that wasn't restricted by parental controls at the time. i created a new shortcut.

that wasn't enough. i wanted to make sure that if my parents found out, i would still have a backup. even if they restricted every browser and i couldn't download anything ever again, i wanted to have discord. so i downloaded it again.

let's have an interlude to talk about wondershare filmora. my beloathed. i had gotten it because it was free and had good reviews, but i didn't like the watermarks it left on my videos. so, i uninstalled it in the only way i knew how to at the time: i deleted as many files as i could find easily with its name on them. predictably, i started with the shortcut, which naturally only got it out of my line of sight, and i was frustrated upon finding the .exe and all its corresponding (at the time) incomprehensible files. i deleted those. then i found out about appdata and hidden files. i went through, looking for a place to put my new h0mb0g.exe, and was incredibly frustrated to see a folder there with wondershare's horrid name on it. i had had ENOUGH of this mid-ass, self-valorizing, stupid horrible useless program. so i got rid of the contents.

i hid the second discord in the now-empty wondershare folder in local data. this was still not enough. i dropped in another now-empty folder called shimeji-ee (anyone remember those?) and put it in there. with shimeji-ee full of discord and tucked safely away where no one would ever think to check, i proceeded to change the properties to "hidden."

everything was perfect.

4 years later, i'm freeing up space on my disk by looking for old files i could delete (it's the easiest way, don't @ me). vivaldi. i have no use for that anymore, this computer is mine now and the regular browsers are good for me. delete.

wondershare. i think to myself: i could never really get rid of it, could i? i think to myself: now that i know about computers, it's over, buster.

i can't delete it. something inside of it... is still open? weird. i can't figure it out, and i'm tired as fuck so i just call my dad (a programmer) over and ask him if it's possible to see what a program is open in. he tells me about this program called WhoLockMe, i get it, we spend about half an hour running command lines through powershell since my searchbar is bugging out so i can't search 'cmd' to get the regular command up and we can't find it through the alphabetical search. through this process, we fail to get wholockme open. then he tries to force the deletion of the wondershare file. it doesn't work. 'it's open', my pc insists, 'it's being used somewhere.'

we cannot figure it out. we really can't. i'm confused. i open the file. shimeji-ee???? i still have that???? what the fuck is that open in????? we try to forcefully delete that. it doesn't work. i ask my dad to give my computer back- in our search through installed programs i'd seen a few free demos that have run out and i think that'll work for cleaning up. ok, he goes back to reading his book. if nothing else, i can re-open shimeji-ee and see what's up with that. i open it.

discord is in there.

it all comes crashing back.

hysterics. i can't stop laughing. "it's not that funny," my dad says, "we have to think about how it got there! what if something was messed up?" (i'm paraphrasing). i can't tell him this whole thing, naturally, so i just say, 'oh no dad, i put it there, years ago.

i don't know why.'

that's not all, because here's the cherry on top-!

i restart my computer to reset the buggy search bar, and i go to tell my discord homies all about this, since we'll all get a kick out of it.

the shortcut isn't working. it says its target has been deleted or moved. it says, 'h0mb0g.exe cannot be found.'

it was THE OTHER ONE for 4 YEARS. my discord hotbar shortcut has been a remnant of my absolutely fucking insane 13 y/o self for 4 years. (i assume the reason "shimeji-ee" wasn't deleting was because it was running in the background or something as discord usually does).

i can not stop laughing.

[stopisa]

worse before it gets better ch.1

[ ushijima wakatoshi x reader ]

summary - everything was going great but all it takes is one day to ruin it all. trust lost in love struggles to heal.

• cw: suggestive and foul language, cheating

• a/n: finally uploading this baddie! this is my first multi-chapter fic so ofc it had to be my main boy ushi. this is a slow burn fic so give the romance and smut time, it will come! also, a big shoutout to @kazuha-fuck-me-please for beta reading, thank you!

• pls give this love on ao3

• chapter 2

“Pieces of shit,” you mumble to yourself as your eyes skim over the email for what may be the 10th time. The library job you had on campus let you go due to making room in the budget for renovations but the email made it out to be way worse. Claiming that, “we are too overstaffed” and that you showed “more interest in other obligations besides the betterment of the library”. Yeah no shit, you had a scholarship to maintain and a relationship you’d really like to keep. Who knew a campus job would expect that level of commitment? 

Sure there were days where you had to cancel shifts when the workload from your courses would get to be too much, but at the very least you’d let your boss know no less than 24 hours in advance if you couldn’t work. 

There goes the extra money you so desperately relied on for off-campus food, savings, and textbooks. School isn’t cheap, and your worst fear besides failing is having financial insecurity after graduating.  

The feeling was finally settling in that you’d need to look for another job to help cover the costs that you told your parent(s) you could handle, establishing some kind of financial independence. 

On top of that, one of your courses was absolutely kicking your ass, especially after scoring a 71 on your first paper of the semester. With all of these emotions piling up, your mind is so overwhelmed that it felt like it could burst any minute. A strong gust of wind pulls away the tears that were forming at the corners of your eyes.

So much for having a good Friday. 

Burying your face into your scarf, you pick up your pace, quickly walking towards your boyfriend’s dorm. 

Upon arriving at his door with a tag that reads “Eita”, you softly knock and step back, waiting for him to answer. There are two muffled voices, you can hear his voice get louder as he approaches the door. Opening it, he greets you with a soft smile, “Hey pretty girl,” noticing your red, puffy eyes, he steps aside for you to walk in. “What’s wrong?” Silently walking past him, removing your shoes, coat, scarf, and bag before throwing yourself onto his bed. 

“Shitty day?”  chimes in Tendou, slouching in the beanbag by Semi’s desk. 

“How could you tell?” you mumble sarcastically as you keep your face buried in the pillow.

Semi hums as he closes the door behind him, walking to join you on the bed. Sitting on the edge by your feet, he rests a hand on your leg. 

“Talk to me.” He says with a voice smooth like honey.

You shift your body to face him, “Stupid fucking philosophy professor gave me a 71, claiming that I was “too brief” on my analysis of Nihilism and I also have no job now.”

Semi’s eyebrows raise, “Geez, I’m sorry, babe,” He shifts his eyes to Tendou before shifting them back to you, “Anyway I can help?”

Now in a sitting position, you pull your legs to your chest and let out a deep sigh, “No no, it’s fine. I’ll just have to look for another job but, at this point in the semester, I'm sure all the work study jobs are taken.”

Taking a hit from his dab pen, Tendou slowly blows the smoke before clearing his throat to speak, “I would offer for you to come work at the bakery down the road with me but they’re only looking for full-time people.”

“Thanks, but my schedule definitely wouldn’t work with that,” you reply.

Semi rubs his chin and proceeds to think out loud,  “Yeah and the bar that I play at won’t hire anyone under 21. So that’s not an option.” 

“Guys, seriously - yeah the situation sucks, but I’m sure I’ll get over it. In college, there’s always a way to make money.”

“Drugs?!” 

“OnlyFans?!” 

They yell in unison. Their answers make you giggle, making you feel just a little less shitty than before you entered the room.

“I’m not completely opposed to either of those ideas,” you play along.

“Ahhhh, y/n, c’mon, you wouldn’t do that to me, would you?” “ whines Semi.

“I’m joking, I won’t. After all, I have a reputation to maintain.”

Sighing in relief, Semi scoots back, resting his body against the wall. Tilting his head up, his mind starts to wander while you and Tendou continue the conversation. He will admit that starting an OnlyFans and seeing you in the most intimate way on camera does sound kinda hot. But that won’t be happening anytime soon considering you two haven’t even gone as far as making out and dry humping. It was getting a bit old at this point.

“Hey Semi-Sem,” Tendou interrupts his roommate’s little fantasy; Semi really hopes the blue LED lights in their room don’t reveal the growing redness in his face.

“I’m gonna go meet up with some other friends in the dining hall, I’ll see you later tonight.” He gets up, walking over to the bed to give you a light fist bump, “Let me know if you’re still down to start your own little narcotics business.” He winks before walking out the door.

Semi shifts to lie next to you, wiggling until his head is in your lap. “You’re not serious about the drugs or OnlyFans, right?” he mumbles.

You snort, “God no, Ei. I told you how I was raised. Curfew was always 8 pm, parent(s) always had to know everything about my friends if I ever wanted to hang out with them. Hell, I didn’t even have my first kiss until my freshman year of college. What makes you think I would actually do either of those?”

“‘Dunno. You already know how normalized that shit is.” He closes his eyes while you run your fingers through his hair. 

“Just because it’s normalized doesn’t mean I’ll do it.”

“We’ve been dating for 5 months and haven’t even had sex yet.”

“I know, I know…Just don’t pressure me into it yet. I’ll come around eventually.”

“I won’t. Just putting it out there,” he replies.

He was right. Anytime you two would get into deep make-out sessions, he’d always try to further things with you, but every time you would back out. It’s not that you weren’t comfortable with him, you just weren’t confident in your abilities overall. You know Semi has had his fair share of girlfriends, him being a part-time musician and all. You totally understand why. Who wouldn’t throw themselves at a hot guy with a septum piercing that plays guitar?

“Well, I have a big assignment to finish for my music tech class. You’re welcome to stay here and take all the time you need.” Semi says as he removes his head from your lap and hops off the bed. 

Surprised by the change in subject, your eyes shift down to your lap, “Thank you, but it’s the weekend, I thought we could go out tonight and maybe see a movie. Could you do it tomorrow?” you hesitantly ask in hopes he would make just a little bit of time for you.

“Sorry, babe. It’s due at 11:59pm, plus you know I like to have Saturdays free for rehearsing. Raincheck for next week?”

You sigh in defeat, the outing with him would’ve really helped get your mind off the stress eating away at your brain. Settling on closing your eyes for a couple of minutes, you lie down on your side, facing the wall, and let the soft clicks of the keyboard fade away.

A few minutes turned into 2 hours of napping. You wake up to Semi still typing away. Picking up your phone, you check the time only to see it’s almost 9pm. Deciding on heading back to your dorm, you sit up and slide off the bed, making your way over to Semi. 

Draping your arms over his shoulders, you lean down to peck his cheek. 

“I think I’m gonna head out. Let me know if your schedule ever frees up.” Allowing the tiniest bit of bitterness to slip into your tone. 

“Alright babe, sounds good,” he replies, not even looking up from his computer.

You quickly lay a peck on his head before removing yourself, getting your stuff, and leaving.

Leaving Semi’s dorm building you’re hit with a cold gust of wind, you pull your jacket closer to your body and quicken your pace as you trek across campus towards your dorm building. From the corner of your eye, you see a tall figure jogging. As they pass, you recognize it’s Tendou’s good friend Ushijiko? Ushijimu? Ushijima? Yeah, that sounds about right. You’ve seen him a handful of times by Tendou’s side, only exchanging a “Hello” or an “I’m Fine” when you’ve greeted him, a man of very few words you suppose. Tendou has also mentioned that the individual is always occupied with volleyball practice and conditioning which also explains why you don’t see him a lot. Jogging past you, you can’t help but have your gaze linger for a bit too long admiring his physique despite the loose tracksuit he sports. 

You attempt to shake the thought from your head, reminding yourself of the happy relationship your in. Mostly happy. Kinda happy. 

After 15 minutes of walking, you arrive at your dorm building, warmth embracing you as soon as your body gets under the mountain of blankets on your bed. You pull out your phone, checking for any notifications. Nothing. You hesitate as to whether or not you send Semi a goodnight message. Deciding not to bother him, you set your phone on the nightstand, turning over onto your side and allowing the warm yellow glow of the fairy lights on the walls to lull you to sleep, putting the frustration of the day behind you. 

Zzzt. Zzzt. Zzzt. The buzzing of your phone wakes you up, seeing the name “Tendou” on the screen you swipe to pick up.

“Hello?” you say with sleep in your voice.

An energetic tone on the other end replies, “Hey! Mornin’ sleepy head, wanna grab some breakfast?”

The digital clock on your desk reads “9:12 am”, damn, almost slept 12 hours. 

“Yeah, sure, gimme like 20 minutes?”

“Of course! I’ll meet you downstairs in front of your building.”

Walking outside, the sun meets your eyes like a blinding light, but the mix with the cool air makes it pleasant. 

“You ready?” Tendou says getting up from the bench next to the entrance.

You nod and proceed to walk with him a few blocks to the bakery cafe he works at.

The smell of warm, fresh croissants and ground coffee hit your nose and it leaves you in a trance. Putting your orders in at the register, Tendou quickly pulls out his wallet to pay, insisting it’s “on him”. Not complaining about free off-campus food, you allow him to.

“Um, thank you. I really appreciate it but what’s the occasion?” you question.

“Let’s just enjoy our breakfast.” he replies with upturned eyebrows, a tinge of worry in his eyes.

Finishing your delicious meal, you clear your throat to get Tendou’s attention as he licks the residue from the chocolate croissant off his fingers. 

“So, it seems like you wanted to talk about something,”

He perks up and shifts in his seat, looking down at the table, fingers fidgeting. “There was another girl in our room last night. I recognized her from Semi’s music tech class,”

A chill goes down your spine and your eyes go wide. But trying to remain positive you refrain from thinking the worst.

He glances at your face and purses his lips, taking a moment before speaking again.

“He said that he invited her over to work on the assignment that was due last night cause she needed help. Didn’t think much of it ‘til I went to go throw something away and saw a used condom in the trash. I called bullshit immediately.” 

It was worse than you thought. You begin to feel tears prick at your eyes. Throat goes dry and lips quiver, you can’t help but let a few tears run down your face.

“Fuck..ah, I’m sorry, look you had the right to know, that shit isn’t cool. I didn’t wanna start anything at that moment but I’ll make sure that fucker knows what he did, I swear𑁋”

“It’s okay, Tendou. Thank you for telling me. It might not seem like it but your honesty is helping more than anything right now.” You respond while wiping some tears with the sleeve of your jacket.

He gives you a soft smile and stands up, offering you his arm, “C’mon, let's get out of here.”

While walking your mind is racing, sure the relationship wasn’t particularly long but it still meant something to you. You just can’t fathom the fact that he didn’t feel the same. How long had it been? Why didn’t he just tell you? From yesterday until now, why had everything just been going downhill? Anger fills you, tuning out Tendou’s one-sided conversation. 

“I need to talk to him,” you say aloud.

Tendou perks up, “Maybe you should wait ‘til you have a clear head. Take some time.”

You look at him with rage in your eyes, “No. Why should I give him any kind of courtesy? He fucked me over. I cared about him, Tendou. Fuck. I actually thought experiencing something new would fucking go well. I wanted it to work. If he wanted to fuck some other bitch he should’ve just said so. God, why am I so fucking stupid?!” 

Tendou opens his mouth to say something but closes it. He places a hand on your shoulder, and leads you into your building, the silence in the elevator felt like sirens. Your shaking hands made it difficult to insert your keycard, missing the reader 3 times. Tendou took the card from your hand and did it for you. 

You walk into the room, eyes on the ground, then lift your head to meet his face,  “Breakfast was great, thank you for being a friend.”

In response, he wraps his arms around you, rubbing your back and ruffling your hair. “Anytime, buddy. If you need anything, please feel free to message me whenever. I’m sorry this shit happened to you, I’m gonna try to avoid Semi for the rest of the weekend, probably go hang out in Ushijima’s room.”

Right, you had forgotten for a second that he was best friends with the athlete. You give him a nod, “Have fun with that. I’ll message you when I decide to talk to him.”

“Sounds good. Just remember to be the bigger person, don’t stoop down to his level. I’ll see ya around, okay?” He opens the door to step out. 

“Okay.” You two exchange a fist bump before he walks down the hall.

Closing the door, you take in a deep breath and change out of your clothes, getting comfy with sweatpants and fuzzy socks. You grab your laptop and some snacks, making your way into your bed and setting up for an anime marathon. 

Halfway through your first episode, there’s a knock at your door. Frustrated by the interruption, you slide out of your bed, making your way to the door. You open it to reveal Semi’s face with a lopsided smile. Your stomach drops.

“Hey, gorgeous.”

networks: @enchantedforest-network @bitchcraftinc

[messybrained]

I very rarely make posts because 1) I'm terrified of people and 2) I'm just a wee bit private, I don't have too much to say. I think I just needed to speak this out into the void, be a bit vulnerable and imagine connecting with other weirdos like me.

I have undiagnosed, and unmedicated adult ADHD. Honestly, it's one of my favourite things about myself - I'm eager, I'm funny, I find everyday things really exciting. I'm quick to strike up a conversation with people, I love hearing about what they do because I can find interest in just about everything. I love the experience of living with such a messy brain (lol, there's a point to the username).

But somedays, like today, I'm experiencing the suckier side. The side that rears it's head when you've somehow wormed your way in to a very high-pressure, very repetitive and boring, very *neurotypical* job. I'm not sure how I got here, but man, a pay above minimum wage was mint enough for me to try. So by some stroke of fate and perhaps lapse of my employers judgement, I'm in a job that pays bloody well but my God it hurts my brain so badly. I could cope, I think, if it weren't for the social agony this has caused.

My boss is quick to criticise my work, and because I'm in such a high performing team, work that I am busting my ass to make adequate isn't good enough. She's told me "you're doing a good job, we just need to make you great!". I get the job done, but it might be a day later. There might be a small mistake every once in a while. I might have to ask questions about something you've told me before. It's led to me being put on an HR mandated performance improvement plan. I think I would be doing better if I wasn't under constant surveillance, as part of this means that my boss has asked to be bcc'd into all my emails to keep track of my work.

I did warn people about the issues I have when I was hired 10 months ago, so they were aware. I've tried to be as open in my communications as possible to everyone and say "hey, real sorry for this, here's what I'll do next time to make it better".

And yet, people have started ostracising me in those little ways they do when they're wanting to push you out. They've become really annoyed with me and started doing small things, like telling you last minute that the meeting has changed rooms. Speaking to me differently as if I wasn't able to comprehend basic instructions. But it's grown to leaving the office at the end of the day, turning the lights off, and not saying goodbye while I'm still there, now a little confused and a bit lonely sitting in a dark room. They make jokes out loud in an open plan office and subtly ignoring my contributions. It's not outright to anyone else looking in, but given that I don't do those things to people, even if I dislike them, I find it hard not to take offence.

It feels like primary school all over again. High school was a little different, I was able to be more me. But this is soul sucking. I woke up this morning about to cry because I didn't want to go in, and had a vivid memory of 7 year old messybrain breaking down in tears, screaming and kicking and refusing to go to school. The echoes of that so neatly fit into the wavelengths of what I was feeling this morning.

This is only my second fulltime job, I'm very new on the scene. But my first was not at all like this. I maybe would have stayed longer if the pay were as good as this one. I had a community and it made all the difference. Once a job was done, it was done until a year's time when it came around again.

I guess I'm just feeling sad and rejected. This is not the place for me and I need to find a kinder tide. There is hope. There really is, if I've found community once I can do it again. I refuse to let this dim my spark.

But for now, I'm a little melancholy, a little broke due to debt, and a little tired and in need of a soft place to curl into. And a few moments scrolling on this cursed website to remind me that there are other wonderful weirdos out there like me.

I hope everyone who reads this knows that you are already worthy of love and belonging just as you are. You don't have to hustle for it. And it's okay if we want to curl into a soft place for a bit and feel sad and down. I'm right there with you. There are other people like us out there. There's space for us in this beautiful world. You matter and I'm glad you're here.

[machifuwa]

World's Most Beautiful Mirror | Episode 2

Reminiscence. A few days ago, in the corridor of Seisoukan

Hinata: Ooh. Heeey! Yuuta-kun hey...ya...?

Please, open the door! Don't you want to talk with your brother? If you really don't want to talk to me, I'll make you the older brother just for today, 'kay?

Big bro! Big bro! If you don't come out soon, I'm going to hate ya~♪

...No reply! Not even a single angry noise! This has become a cold concrete jungle!

Somebody help~ My sweet cute little sibling has become a shut-in~ Uuh, uuh, uuh (with a crying voice).

Yuuta: ...Could you please not make strange noises in front of other people's rooms?

Hinata: Aah! Yuuta-kun! I really wanted to see you...☆

Yuuta: And I didn't want to. When I see Aniki's face, I get depressed because it reminds me of the Yuuta Aoi, who exposed his attitude in "SS".

Hinata: It's not really an ugly sight though? Sure, we got our asses kicked in the main competition, but nobody expected us to actually get through it.

And it's even the top talk on the internet. "Surprise!" and "Unexpected!", something along those lines.

Of course, those who have been our fans for a long time are overjoyed with the results we got.

And for the other units' fans, it seems like it was a very surprising outcome to them, too?

The place where we were placed in the qualifying round was also a hell stage full of strong people, huh~?

Yuuta: How can you look at the internet so soon after the disastrous "SS", Aniki?

Hinata: My liver is the same size as Yuuta-kun's. I've said it many times, but it wasn't a bad fight. Rather, it was a nice fight for us.

In fact, we got a new job because of our success! Look, look! A proposal!

Yuuta: A new job...? I'm not really in the mood for this, though...?

Hinata: Pros don't work based on their moods!

Yuuta: That's true... Hm? I haven't opened my "Hold Hands" for a while, so I've never seen this proposal before.

What is this? A request to appear in "Volcano Island"?

Hinata: Yep, yep! You're in shock, aren't ya~? I can't believe we've been asked to be on that show again! I thought it was a mistake in sending the e-mail or something, so I emailed them back!

Yuuta: "Volcano Island" is that stupid show that even though we're a twin idol unit, they only asked one of us to appear in it, right?

Hinata: You're so foul-mouthed! There was a lot going on! It's such a famous show that just having one of us on that show is a prestigious honor, you know~?

Our fan base grew rapidly after appearing on that show, and it was also thanks to that, we were able to get good results on "SS".

You should be grateful they let us perform, Yuuta-kun.

And that also means that we were recognized for our individual abilities, without the rarity as twins backing us up.

In my opinion, it has to be one of the greatest achievements in the history of "2wink".

Yuuta: Hm.... Since they only said that the one appearing on that show was the "older brother Hinata", it seems like you're the only one who got famous in my opinion, though.

Well, I don't really care if it's just you. And I'd rather not let someone else take the credit for it.

But, if us twins have too different opinions of each other, it'd be unbalanced, so this time, let me just play my part as the "younger brother Yuuta".

I'd feel bad if your reputation went down as soon as I appeared on that show though.

Hinata: In that case, I think Yuuta-kun should just be Hinata-kun from now on!

Yuuta: Can you not hand over my existence that casually? And that's basically my point, Aniki.

Hinata: Fufufu. Alsooo... this time it wasn't just me or Yuuta-kun, but both brothers were asked to appear.

And it seems like it's also an apology for only letting one of us appear on the show last time.

Yuuta: It's too late for that now. It's always, always like this, whenever, whoever.

And the fact that this programme was well-received, but they have ignored us until now, but as soon as we made our mark with "SS", they asked us to appear on the show, which is highly suspicious.

And an apology? Do you really think they feel bad? Aren't they just saying that as those random social commentary ways of saying you're sorry?

It's like giving a candy bar to a child who's in a bad mood, you know?

Hinata: I'm totally inflected... If you're feeling unmotivated or unwilling in any way, I'd normally turn down the request, what should I do?

I will always put Yuuta-kun's wishes first, no, I want to, always.

Yuuta: You've been very rebellious lately... Even in "SDS", you were doing things on your own.

But anyway, although I personally don't like the idea, "Volcano Island" is still a very famous show. Not appearing on it is not an option.

Hinata: Riiight~ The "producer" of the show seems to be a big shot, or rather someone who is liked by the big names in the industry.

What if we offend them and they hang us out to dry?

Yuuta: Too many possibilities... Hm, what a pain in the neck, huh?

But, I'd hate to be a good kid now and put on a sparkling smile and say, "It's such an honor to be on this show!".

Even so, I'd like to make them so shocked that they wouldn't be able to say a thing. Every one of them.

Hinata: Oooh~ Yuuta-kun has become a knife-like teenager who hurts everything he touches.

But don't worry, big bro will help Yuuta-kun in every way.

Yuuta: No need, I need to be sharp on my own now.

...Aah, I just thought of a really nice idea ♪

Hey, Aniki. What do you say? It's our one of a kind prank...

Previous | All | Next

Season: Winter

Translated by machi

[btsmfanfics]

The Choreographer, Chapter 11.2  Teaser

This picks up right where the last chapter left off. I decided to offer a longer teaser since it’s been so long. 

Masterlist

______________

The numbness carried over to the next morning, when you arose to a sun that was far too bright and skies that were much too clear.

You had to face him again today. You didn’t know if you could.

The temptation to leave had reached a crescendo last night. This level of moral perfection was too much to ask of anyone. You’d had rough nights before, but this was getting to be too much. How much more would you have to give to this company? You barely had anything left.

You’d sacrificed far too much to be here, though. You couldn’t let that be in vain.

You arrived at the venue early. Jia was already there, setting up her station.

She took one look at you and rushed over to wrap you up in a hug.

“Are you okay?” she asked. You buried your face in her shoulder. “What happened?”

You shook your head against her collar, unable to form words. Tears threatened to spill over at her kindness. One of them actually did.

You sat in Jia’s makeup chair while she brushed your hair for you and did her best to conceal the dark circles under your puffy, red eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to kick someone’s ass?” she asked.

You gave her the closest thing to a smile you could muster. “Thanks, Ji. That would be great.”  

She seemed satisfied enough with your answer to drop the subject. She didn’t even ask who. She didn’t need to.

It was a while before the guys all strolled into the makeup room. When they did, you immediately faced forward and averted your eyes. You couldn’t chance looking at him.

Yoongi made a beeline over to where you and Jia were setting up.

“What happened to you?” he asked, loud and brash as he always was.

“Real nice,” Jia spat.

“I’d rather not talk about it,” you said and got up so he could sit in the makeup chair. He plopped down as Jia began arranging her brushes on the counter before him.

“If it makes you feel any better, I had a shit night too,” he said.

“I can see that,” said Jia as she began to dip a brush into a palette. “How many sets of dark circles am I going to have to cover today?”

“Why’s that?” you asked him.

“I got an email from the label. They’re pushing the release date back another month for my mixtape.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I were.”

“How can they keep doing this to you?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Beats me,” he said. “There’s nothing I can do about it though. They have the final say.”

“That sucks, Yoongs,” said Jia. “I’m really sorry.”

“You told them about the mixtape?” Hoseok asked, walking up to where the three of you were conversing. “Bullshit, isn’t it?”  

Jia nodded.

Your heart sank. Yoongi had been working so hard on that mixtape. You sensed that he was losing hope. You would too if thing you really wanted kept getting dangled in front of you, only to be snatched away again and again.

In a way, you supposed that’s exactly what had happened to you.

You chanced a look over at Jungkook. He was joking around with Jin, all smiles and laughter.  

“Someone looks like they’re in a good mood,” you muttered to Jia.

“Oh Jungkook?” said Hoseok. “Yeah, I’d be too if I’d gotten head from Yeona last night.”

The brush Jia had been holding clattered to the floor. “Sorry,” she squeaked and quickly ducked down to retrieve it. In the mirror, Yoongi’s eyes flicked up to meet yours.

“Oh?” you asked, throat seizing up.

“Yeah,” said Hoseok. “She’s been after him since the beginning of the tour. Good thing, too, because he definitely needed it. He’s been unbearable lately.”

You exhaled a shaky breath. “Oh.”

“To be honest, I’m surprised it took him as long as it did to taker her up on it. I know I wouldn’t have held out that long. Have you seen the body on that woman?”

Yoongi winced. “Hoseok,” he hissed exasperatedly, “shut the fuck up.”

Hoseok’s eyes grew wide as he gaped at Yoongi.  The silence between the four of you became painfully awkward.

“Hey, so did Hanyuel tell you that he’s planning a massive party while we’re in Japan?” Jia cut in. It came out a little louder and faster than normal. Yoongi continued to watch you intently while Hoseok, still looking puzzled, merely shrugged and shifted his focus to Jia.

“That’s awesome,” you breathed, feigning excitement while your insides turned to liquid. You dug your nails into your palms and gritted your teeth to keep your cool until you could get out of there.

“Yeah,” it should be a lot of fun,” she replied. You took a step backwards. Then another.

“Do you think he’ll rent out a movie theater again like he did last year?” Hoseok asked, unaware of the devastating blow he’d delivered only moments ago.

“I don’t know,” answered Jia. “He was talking about go-karts last I knew.” She said this while still watching you over Hoseok’s shoulder. You wanted to tell her you were fine, but you’d be lying. Her face grew more and more concerned as Hoseok’s words blended into the environment. You crossed your arms tightly in front of you, holding your ribcage together.  

You were okay. You’d be fine. You knew this was a possibility. Jungkook was just trying to get his needs met.

Isn’t that what all of you were doing? Just trying to get your needs met? How could you fault him for that?

Your stomach lurched. You needed to get out of there.

“I should probably get out of your way,” you said, more people trickling into the room. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

You didn’t even think Hoseok heard you. He was still talking excitedly to the room about the party. Jia and Yoongi watched as you backed away, turned, and rushed out the door.

Turning right, you worked hard to steady your breath as you searched for anything that would do.

You passed several locked doors along the mostly-empty hallway, offices of stadium managers, locker rooms, and storage areas. It stretched on and on. It felt like it would never end. Like the walls were closing in. You quickened your pace.

You found an unlocked supply closet and wrenched the door open, darted inside and, trying to not draw any more attention to you, shut it as softly as you could. Shelves of various cleaning products and cans of paint lined the small area. Several brooms leaned haphazardly against the wall. A large automated floor scrubber took up most of the space, and in the corner sat a lone empty bucket.  

You shook your hands, trying to rid yourself of excess anxious energy.  

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

You hummed through the exhale, trying to regulate your breath as tears spilled down.

This was okay. You’d be okay. You knew this could happen. Jungkook didn’t owe you any loyalty, especially after last night.

Scanning the room, you found an empty mop bucket. As quickly and silently as you could, you flipped it over and sat down on it, clutching your chest while you rocked back and forth.

You were okay. You didn’t need him. It was fine. He could be with other women. He could be with Yeona and her amazing body.

You noticed your breath hitching on the intake. You pursed your lips to slow down your exhale and keep yourself from hyperventilating. Your eyes stung. You tapped your chest with your hands, fighting to stay in control.

The air inside the closet was thick and warm. It weighed down your chest, making it difficult to fill your lungs.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

You bit down on your knuckles to muffle the strangled noises now escaping from your throat.

You were spiraling.

The door swung open, startling you. Yoongi peered around it.

“Shit,” he said, closing the door behind him and making his way past the scrubber. He knelt beside you and took your hand in his. “You okay?”

You nodded, bouncing a leg up and down, continuing to rock back in forth. You couldn’t meet his eyes.

The tears continued to pour out. Hot and wet against your cheeks, they slid cleanly down your face and collected at your chin before falling onto your hoodie in fat drops.  

“I know that must have been rough to hear,” he said, thumb stroking over yours. “Do you need anything?”

You shook your head no, continuing to stare straight ahead, jaw clenched tight.

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked. You nodded.

“Okay.”

He sat down on the floor next to you while you processed everything. His presence calmed you down enough for you to process.

As much as you couldn’t fault Jungkook for taking care of his needs, you weren’t prepared for this.

It was just sex, you reminded yourself. It’s not like he had feelings for her. And he had come to you first.

“You know,” said Yoongi softly, “when I first heard the news that my mixtape was delayed again, I threw my phone across the room.”

You looked not quite at him, but your eyes moved in his direction.

“I think I dented the wall. Some poor underpaid maintenance guy is going to have to fix it,” he said.

You didn’t quite laugh, but you exhaled through your nostrils a little faster than normal, knee still bouncing up and down rapidly.

“And that’s not even the worst part,” he continued. “My screen shattered because I was too lazy to buy a screen protector.”

You wouldn’t necessarily agree that him not being able to see his texts was worse than an underpaid maintenance guy having to fix the aftermath of Yoongi’s tantrum, but you didn’t voice that.

“Where are you going with this?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi said. “Just thought you might find it amusing.”

“My deepest condolences for your screen,” you said, flatly.

“Yes, I am suffering more than anyone else in the world, thank you for noticing,” he said, a touch of drama in his voice.

At that, you managed a chuckle.

“I know you’re going through a tough time right now,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks,” you said, offering up a small smile. “I’m sorry for you, too. I know how much you had your heart set on a spring release.”

“Ahh,” he said. “I’ll be okay. I might just have to write a really angsty track and include it, now that I have the time.” “I hope you do,” you said.

“You going to be okay?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” you answered truthfully. “I’d like to think so, but I’m not even sure how I feel.”

“I understand,” he said. “Truly. It’s okay to not be entirely sure. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out.”

“Will I?” you asked.

“Yes. And even if you don’t, that’s okay too.”

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2008): Deus Vult II

Remember when I said that I would complete (or rather almost complete depending on the circumstances) two regions in AC: Valhalla (with other game in between)? Nevermind! Going back to WADs now otherwise that game might drive me crazy. But I’ll also increase the number of regions to complete between parts of the review to TWO, or else THIS WAD will drive me insane.

Speaking of today’s WAD and insanity...

AVE MARIA!!! DEUS VULT-

You slip and centrally hit your head on your desk.

...

Ow...

G1: Deus Vult II

Main author(s): Huy Pham (Doom Marine)

Release date: February 25th, 2008

Version(s) played: 2008-02-25c (that’s what the textfile says)

Required port compatibility: Boom

Levels: 13 (mostly spread across the slots; the last three maps are optional)

Yep, I finally said the joke thing that I forgot about in my original Deus Vult review (read it here before reading this one).

Deus Vult II is, as some of you may guess, the sequel to the 2004’s Deus Vult – a slaughter map so big at the time of its release that it had to be split into four parts to work on some of the slower computers (as an option). And then this WAD came out and said OI! Why not do the same with more maps that look better?! And then it happened.

There is so much stuff about this WAD in the text file, mentioning map details, new enemies, new weapons, etc. I will only mention that some of the maps are mentioned to be finished around the Summer of 2004; my guess is that this WAD was in the making since the release of the original Deus Vult map.

Plot-wise, demons happened on Mars, you beat the demons, and then you find out that Earth is filled with demons too. It’s time to kick some more ass.

How much humanity do I still have after the suffering I went through with this WAD? Well... Time to find out.

Now, I have seen WADs and maps that looked breathtaking in this review series in the past. Deus Vult II, at this moment, takes the winner’s cake in the visuals. Some of the maps look like complete masterpieces, and while some of you may think it goes slightly too far with details, I think I saw worse cases of over-detailing in Doom maps.

These maps also have many different bios for the lack of better words – tech bases, Japanese mountain, Egypt (Mastahpiss :] ), ruins, and, of course, hellish locations.

The soundtrack was... fine, I guess? It had bangers like in MAP20 and MAP23, but in some places, it had tracks that sounded annoying (MAP19), felt too short for a map (MAP21), might feel off (usually MP3 tracks), or weren’t even playing at all (I’ll get to that later).

What’s funny about the soundtrack, is that it can be different depending on which source port and version of the WAD you play. The regular version is from the archives, while the ultimate version can be sent directly to someone by the author after asking him by email (or just finding it on the internet at this point in time). The only difference is that MAP12 and MAP22 use a soundtrack from Lord of the Rings in the ultimate version.

The MP3 tracks will only play on ZDoom-based source ports; other ones that can play boom-compatible WADs will instead use MIDIs. I wish there was an option to choose if you want MP3 tracks to play on ZDoom-based source ports or not; like a separate WAD with just MIDIs.

Changing the subject, aside from two maps on the blind playthrough, Deus Vult II isn’t really that hard to figure out. Some of them just have more annoying elements than the other ones, like the forest in Crouching Demon, Hidden Arch-vile, inspired by the legendary Grove, and being equally annoying here as well.

There are also two cases where you climb a mountain, and it’s also annoying; not because of the climbing itself but due to the enemies constantly popping from the ground behind bushes as you get close (in Eagle’s Nest at least there are bushes).

The two really annoying maps were Stargate and Unholy Cathedral (not to confuse with the one in the original Inferno episode) – the former due to being a mangled maze of a map, and the latter for having a moon-logic level of hidden switches in some cases.

But there is some interesting stuff that makes me grin like an utter goober; like how you transition between most of the maps organically (especially at the end of Stargate and Desert Temple with the ancient portals).

Entryway Pass has some kind of uber barrels in the blue key area, where these are much stronger than the original ones; and surprisingly, they only appear in this location.

I also like the concept behind You Shall Not Pass, where you run away from the boss mooks through the entire level until you reach Invun and decimate them (at least the ones that don’t fly away to the other side of a map).

The final level is MAP29 – Saint Peter’s Gate, and from there, you can choose how to end the WAD. You can just end it by going through the left gate; you can choose the right gate to play the original Deus Vult map (thank God that I don’t have to play it); or, you can go straight on your path, ending on a secret level.

Although, I feel like The Manliest Fight EVER feels misplaced, because after beating it you are rewarded with a weapon that you can get 3-4 maps earlier and you end up booted back into Stargate. It’s like something was missing between MAP13 and MAP19.

There are two types of hard in Deus Vult II – manageable and insanity. The former happens in most of the WAD; despite tougher moments, there is still a chance that experienced players won’t really have that much of a problem with some of the tougher moments. The latter type happens less often, but it has a chance to scar you for a long time; fight in the hub area of Unholy Temple, the entirety of Hell’s Vendetta, the secret encounter in Crouching Demon, Hidden Arch-vile, and probably the second half of MAP31 are the biggest examples that come into my mind.

This WAD utilizes two new enemies as replacements for Wolfenstein SS and Keens, both appearing from MAP21 onwards. The first one is Hell Cleric, which has 200 health, barely flinches, and fires a volley of three fireballs at you. In large groups, these guys can fuck you up (proven by the Minas Morgul Requiem section in Hell’s Vendetta).

The second new enemy is much, MUCH worse – Flying Balrog AKA Afrit the flying Baron; and not just a typical Afrit that’s just a kind of tougher, flying Baron variant with new attacks, but the Scythe 2 beasts that can wreck Cyberdemon 1v1. Luckily, they have only 1500 health compared to the original’s 2500.

You thankfully gain two new weapons. You now wield two pistols instead of one, which means bullets won’t be any more useless to you until you find a chaingun.

There are also Sauron’s Gauntlets which are basically melee BFG. It shreds through every enemy, including flying Barons. The only one who still has a chance to kill you with these gloves is Cyberdemon.

Now remember when I said that some of the music tracks don’t play at all? It happens with the first three levels, and it looks like it’s due to the newer version of GZDoom having problems with some of the MP3 files. Gee, at least it could play MIDIs as a failsafe, but screw that, I guess.

Deus Vult II is a better WAD on every level when compared to the original map... it is also harder than the first DV. If you enjoy slaughter maps/WADs, you will be in heaven playing this WAD.

As for me, I am really excited to leave this WAD behind and play the next one on the roster list. It is Eternal’s final WAD from the 2008 roster.

But until then, I’ll see you next time.

Bye!

[vanitysunday]

Finally feeling basically 100%. It really took almost two weeks. My period started two days ago so it has just felt like I've gotten my ass kicked back to back. I had a gynecologist appointment last week for a Pap smear and HPV test and the results came back clear. Happy I got that out of the way.

I scheduled an audit for March 1st and the bookkeeper left me a message at the beginning of the month confirming the date. While I had covid I spent a lot of time worrying about it because I really don't want to do an audit at an employer's location just yet. I want to get comfortable with the audit process first before doing one from start to finish at an employer's location. I tried to call her last week to have her send me their records by email but I couldn't reach her. Thankfully today I got a hold of her and she'll send me the records Monday or Tuesday so that I can do the audit from my office 😌.

As of the 25th I'm officially a Revenue Examiner 1. Nothing changes except my pay and title. I'll continue to do the work I was doing as a trainee the last two years. Now that I've experienced a lot of different situations and did hours of research to back up my decisions, I feel a lot less anxious about my job. There are still some situations I will experience for the first time but I'm at least confident in my ability to document and back up my decisions. I actually kind of enjoy my work. I like the freedom for sure. I speak to my boss between 0-5 times a month. I see my boss between 0-2 times a year 😂.

One of the things that gave me the most anxiety when I was an accounting clerk/admin assistant was dealing with the general manager. Mostly because he operated at an energy level that was overwhelming. He would ask for things and give me deadlines as if I wasn't performing two roles at once. If there is one thing I will never do again, it's taking a job that is two positions in one and having to answer to two separate bosses. Admin work isn't for the weak. I am weak.

Anyway, I'm hoping to get back to working out soon. My cramps are debilitating and I know they shouldn't be but my period is only 4 days long so it's no big deal.