#they both worked really hard to get stronger to a point where they could protect each other

[otaku553]

Oc 2 electric boogaloo

Moved to procreate so I wouldn’t break goodnotes but I tried my best to recreate the brushes and am not using color picker :p surprised to say I kind of enjoy goodnotes more now that I’m used to the constraints of the program- the per-stroke selection and erasing is kind of really nice for color correction

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Rimming Freminet

Pairings: Freminet x reader

Warnings: Male!reader, dom!reader, sub!Freminet, rimming, angst, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers/FWB

Genre/Format: Smut; Oneshot

Author's Note: A request from a few months ago that I misinterpreted. Here's the rimming version for you, anon! As usual Freminet is 20+

Check out the trans Freminet version!

Please check my blog title to verify whether requests are closed or not! Thank you!

The words fell from his lips often. “I'm weak...I'm not strong enough...if only I were stronger, then maybe I could protect the ones I love...I need to get stronger!”

You couldn't stop the empathetic ache in your chest whenever your friend uttered those words. After all, you knew all too well what that felt like. That stinging guilt from thinking that you could have done something differently. You could have been faster, stronger, shouldn't have done that, should have done this...you beat yourself down until those thoughts hinder any potential progress

You've been there too, so that's why you wanted to help him. Offering to train him, pass along a few techniques, tricks, and tips from your time out in the field

Freminet was just a tad reluctant but eventually he agreed, promising to work hard during each session. A handshake sealed the deal as you grinned at him, excited to tutor your friend while also spending more time with him!

The first session was a bit clumsy. You said “Don't hold anything back” and Freminet hadn't planned on getting cold feet but... standing before you with his hefty weapon clutched between his hands? And you, his best friend, standing opposite of him with balled fists and your shining vision ready to unleash a skill? A shaky breath slipped between his lips while his arms unconsciously lowered. How could he seriously charge at you? He knows that it's just training, that you'll both come out of this with only minor injuries if anything. He knows that. But some deep recess in his mind won't let him move

From your perspective it really seemed like the beginning of a panic attack. Freminet looked as though he were glued in place, wobbly muscles giving out and releasing his grip on the claymore while his chest heaved. You immediately straightened up, disappearing your weapon before rushing over to the paralyzed boy and cupping his cold cheeks in your hands. The surge of warmth from your touch appeared to melt Freminet right out of the frozen state that he'd been in as his hands lightly covered yours, apologizing for chickening out after you took the time out of your day to meet him like this...

“No, you don't need to apologize, Frem. It's ok. Don't push yourself, alright? Let's just leave it there for the day and relax, we can work through this another time, yeah?”

The sigh of relief was instantaneous as your reassurance calmed the cryo user's nerves. With a huge weight lifted from his chest Freminet breathed a quiet reply, “Yeah...ok. Thank you, y/n.”

-

A few weeks had passed and your training sessions gradually improved to the point where Freminet and yourself could clash weapons with no problems. You spent days helping him overcome his anxiety about sparring with his friend and now you were able to help him work through his problem areas. Speed training, technique tweaking, incorporating his clockwork friends into his attacks. Everything was taken into account with your training. The one thing you didn't account for was the way your body reacted to being pressed up against your friend, or the thoughts that began to run through your mind as you watched Freminet in the heat of battle; Sweaty. Panting. Groaning. On his knees sometimes. That fierce glint in his eye whenever he charged at you...

-

Frigid ice collided with your elemental skill as elemental particles dispersed in the air, reacting with one another while the two of you stood on opposite ends of the training ground. Locked in heated combat for over an hour now, the effects of this rigorous match were starting to show as attack times became a hair slower, muscles ached, breaths became far heavier, and less skills were thrown

Despite all of this, neither of you were willing to give in. Freminet's glare was as sharp as ever; and your playful smirk never left your lips. For the nth time today your friend charged towards you with his claymore held tightly, yelling a battle cry with the intention of finally knocking you down and defeating you. Alas — though you were just as exhausted as he was — you weren't willing to give in just like that

Exhaling a hot puff of air, you prepared to dodge and counter Freminet's terrifying strike. As his heavy sword swung at your head you ducked underneath and to the side, swiftly positioning yourself behind him and using his own momentum to knock him to the ground. You hovered over your friend and pinned one arm behind his back, effectively preventing him from using his weapon or skills easily

“Heh, looks like I win, huh? Unless you think you can break free?” You said triumphantly, daring the boy to turn this around on you somehow

Freminet squirmed under your grasp. He looked like a sea turtle trying to move through sand as his limbs flailed, though it was ultimately no use. You had him pinned enough to keep him down. “N-no... can't...too tired...” He wheezed, slumping onto the ground and giving up all resistance

“I figured... honestly I'm pretty tired too...” You replied. Though that was true, pressed up against Freminet as you were in your current configuration, something sent a surge of energy throughout your aching body. Being in a battle filled with adrenaline and constant quips and teasing on both ends like that got you pretty worked up...there was no hiding nor denying the bulge in your pants anymore. Not while it was poking your friends ass...

Neither one of you dared to say a word right now. Freminet let out one hushed squeak when he realized what was so hard behind him, but the two of you froze in place afterwards. It was blatantly obvious what was happening and you couldn't hide it now. So instead, you just whimpered and shifted your weight so that your hips pressed into him further

“Frem, I...ngh-! Mmm...aaahh~ ” You couldn't stop the moan that slipped out when your friend pushed back against you, gasping as your cock pressed against his hole even through his clothing. “Oh- oooohh ffuuuck~ ” You moaned, humping Freminet right in the middle of the training grounds, panting along with him as lingering adrenaline fueled your hips to rut against each other greedily

“Y-y/n...ah! O-ooohh...” He gasped softly, wishing that you would maybe do something more...hoping that you might give in to whatever feeling caused you to suddenly hump him. Freminet wasn't entirely ready to admit to the feelings that had grown over the years, but right now he didn't really care about the consequences. He wanted you to do more

You felt your cock throb within your pants and you uttered an, “Ah fuck it...” under your breath. Within seconds you had tugged Freminet's pants down and exposed his twitching hole, causing him to shiver as sweaty bare skin was exposed to cold air. Just the sight of his pretty hole — begging to be eaten out by someone's wet tongue and mouth — had drool dripping from your lips. You used your free hand to grope at the soft flesh of Freminet's ass, pulling it a bit to spread his little cheek and expose his hole even more, which earned several whines from your friend

“Shit, Frem...can I?” You asked hesitantly, yet eagerly. Desire building up with every passing second

Freminet didn't know what to think of this... his mind was racing, which in turn caused his heart rate to speed up, pounding in his ears as a long silence fell over the area. He'd never done anything like this before...had no experience in this field yet...but something deep within his gut screamed at him to say yes. He needed it. He didn't even know what he needed. He just needed it. He needed it! Gods yes please– whatever you're asking permission for just do it already! Just–

“Y-yes! Yes...give it to me, y/n~ ” That tone was the sluttiest thing you'd ever heard come out of your friend's mouth...and god did it turn you on...

Immediately, you leaned down and began lapping at Freminet's ass like a thirsty dog. Sucking on his hole as it clenched around nothing, sloppy wet noises filling the air from your mouth the whole time. You finally let go of his arm, confident that he wasn't going to attempt an escape now, and grabbed his tiny hips, pulling his ass further against your face. Suctioned onto his body like the suckers on a tentacle as your tongue licked every bit of his sensitive rim

“Ah-Aaahh—!! Oh my...aaahh~ ” The cryo wielder moaned, rocking his hips back while you continued, neither one of you showed any signs of stopping as your bodies found a rhythm together. You stuck your tongue out and held it in place, moving only your head up and down while Freminet let out another pretty cry. His fingers dug into the ground below him as a new and exciting feeling spread throughout his body

Eventually you pushed your tongue into the wet orifice, breaching Freminet's virgin ass and pulling a shrill scream out of the boy — who made no effort to protest and instead grunted in pleasure before arching his back even more, allowing you to have a better angle for eating him out. Your tongue probed in and out of his little hole while you rubbed his soft cheeks, squeezing the tender flesh and watching it squish in between your fingers

Thank the archons that you picked a day where the training grounds were usually empty, because if anyone walked in on the two of you they would find an embarrassingly obscene picture...

They'd find Freminet's smaller frame arching into every flick and drag of your tongue, torso pressing into the ground while he chased every ounce of pleasure, moaning like a porn star while drool poured from the corner of his mouth–

And they'd find you; pressing your entire face against the smaller man's ass as your wet tongue penetrated his hole. Slurping and kissing the orifice while you also moaned loudly, squeezing Freminet's cheeks and lightly slapping them every so often, eyes rolled back and a huge bulge straining against your pants while you shallowly humped at the air

At this point neither you nor your sparring partner cared about volume control or who might pass by. All your horny brains knew was that they craved the feeling of pleasure. Ushering you to reach around Freminet's tiny waist and take hold of his cock — leaking precum in long, glistening strings that pooled on the floor and clung to his shaking thighs

“Aa-aahh!! Y/n...th-that's my–” Freminet squeaked, unable to prevent himself from thrusting his little hips into your touch. Chasing the sweet relief as your fingers smeared sticky precum all over his cock head and along the shaft. He felt his entire body tremble when you began to stroke it, another source of lewd noises adding to the symphony of sex that your beings performed

Another shaky breath from Freminet told you that he was probably close. So you sped up your ministrations and lapped at his puffy hole faster, moaning against his skin. Sure enough, as your wrist twisted with an upward stroke, Freminet's voice cracked and his dick twitched before shooting a thick load of cum onto the ground. His hips continuing to fuck into your hand sloppily until it hurt–

You eventually unlatched your mouth from his ass, though if you could have you would've eaten him out all night long. For now though, you'd give the boy a rest. Although...

There was one teensy problem.....your dick was painfully hard and you didn't cum, unlike Freminet...

While you don't want to pressure your friend or make things even more awkward between you two, honestly you were about to bust at any moment. If he lets you slip it in just a little bit — just the tip, even — then you'd probably cum right away...it would be over quickly. Just push in a little, cum in your friend's ass, and pull out–

Freminet seemed to notice how you were lost in thought, calling your name quizzically until you blinked back to the present. “Huh? Oh, yeah I'm fine... it's just uh...um, gimme your hand for a second?” At your request, the boy extended a hand out behind him. As it came into contact with something hard, Freminet gasped, the blush on his cheeks returning tenfold. You had placed his little hand on your clothed cock

You pressed his palm down harder, hissing at the spark of pleasure. Beginning to hump his tiny hand as it barely covered your hard member. “Ya feel that? That's all because of you, Frem...I feel like, if I don't cum soon–” A desperate moan spilled from your mouth as Freminet squeezed your dick, now rubbing the outline all by himself

“Pl-please, Frem...can I? ” You whimpered, bucking into his touch as the need to release grew even more

“Y-yes...put it in...give it to me, y/n”

Reblogs are extremely appreciated <3

[whyareyouhere66]

hey hey you should give me Spot Conlon hcs :)

I mean how could I possibly say no?

You sent this hours ago I’m so sorry-

Spot Conlon x Reader HCs

Fem or Male reader (gender neutral) - Platonic and Romantic HC’s included.

Romantic -

(Starting with the fluff, more lighthearted stuff)

◘ He just - he loves you.

◘ His love language is flirting with you, nicknames all that- and he also constantly has to have an arm around you. (So some physical touch)

◘ He didn’t really realize how truly touch starved he was until he had you, not saying he’s some lovey-dovey sappy kind of guy but just the casual arm around your shoulders, waist, etc brings him a nice hit of comfort. 

◘ And for those of you who aren’t into physical touch, he finds other ways to love you. Again, flirting, always has a nickname at hand, and even just the subtle things like passing you some of his food.

◘ “Hows about some flowers, eh? Y’like those- eh I’ll get youse some flowers” // “C’mere, sweetheart, you’re too far away.” 

◘ He’s so proud of you. Brags about you to Race, Davey, even Jack has heard about you enough to know any or all of your accomplishments.

◘ Race always feeds into it, of course, Jack kind of brushing him off. 

◘ Let’s not forget the sleeping arrangements. 

◘ He likes it best when you sleep next to him. Doesn’t matter if the bed’s small, he sleeps best when you’ve got your head on his chest, a lazy arm wrapped around your back. 

◘ That cute, dopey smile we got to see at Medda’s? Y’know the one, yeah- we get to see so much more of that when you’re around and the world thanks you for it.

◘ Trying to get deeper than just the same things everytime: the river. 

◘ The docs, the crates built up to make his throne, those are your spots. 

◘ Sometimes at night you two will just sit out there, either propped up against the crates or with your legs dangling off the docs edge. And you’ll talk, no one else around except you both. 

◘ It’s come to the point where if you can’t find him inside, he can’t find you, just go and look by the docs and you’ll find eachother, hidden behind the wood.

◘ And just like that we’re talking about more angsty stuff, here we go-

◘ The docs are where lots of the heavy, trauma dumping stuff happens. Or the inappropriate stuff- either work. 

◘ It took a while to get there, but he trusts you more than he’s trusted anybody. So he tells you things, you tell him back, and the bond grows stronger and stronger every time- an understanding builds, sometimes you don’t even have to say a word and he’ll know. You’ll know. 

◘ It doesn’t make you immune to fights though. Spot is outspoken, he gets stressed. And that can lead to him lashing out. 

◘ He doesn’t like it, sometimes he’ll regret it instantly and other times he’s gotta take a hot second to breathe, and then it’ll hit him. Either way he’ll find a way to make it up to you. 

◘ I’m not one to say how you’d react, maybe you’ll lash out too and maybe you’re more the quiet type. Either way he’ll take the time to swallow his pride and return things to the way it was before. 

◘ Oh yeah and he would fight literally anyone for you. The dude’s protective, over the newsies, his reputation, and his love. He isn’t scared to defend it or  himself.

Platonic- 

◘ Two ways I can imagine it- one, you both are complete menaces and cause chaos through Brooklyn. 

◘ Two- it’s calmer, more you both enjoying eachothers company and having that level of understanding. 

◘ Either way, he’s glad to have a friend he can trust, which is hard for him. 

◘ Just like the romantic hc’s, y’all hang by the river a ton. Just talking, mainly, sharing a drink and having a couple laughs. He isn’t as over the top “crazy” as Jack, closer to the sarcasm of Race. 

◘ Speaking of- you, Race and Spot always have a good time when together, the three of you get along, far better than any of the others. 

◘ You joke about stuff, Race tries placing bets, Spot stupidly takes him up on the offer, and you get to watch. It’s a great time, the main reason you even go to Manhattan cause you know what’s ahead. 

◘ Spot isn’t as hard on you as he might be to the rest of the Brooklyn newsies, he’s admittedly a bit biased. There’s more room for understanding, he’s more comfortable in your presence. The jokes you share and the talks you have allow him to loosen up a bit, his shoulders relaxing more. 

◘ You’re the first one he wakes up in the morning, doing it personally instead of letting the alarms wake you up like he does the rest. You’re the closest thing to second in command they have, it’s never been officially said but hey the other newsies have joked about it and recognized it so that’s official enough. 

◘ I know there isn’t as much platonic as romantic but hey I just wanted to add this-

Ok there you go 😌 I’m actually so glad you sent this request-

I could go more into detail about some of this too idk I love him.

[deltadex]

Arcane's symbolism: Meaning of Vi

Of all the Arcane characters, I feel that Vi's name carries the most meaning in relation to her character.

Besides being associated with love in general, violets are also linked with lesbian love (thanks to Greek poet Sappho, who's poems centered around the relationships between women, who often wore the flowers). It's clear how this ties in with Vi and her relationship with a certain Pilty...

As for the shortened version of her name, Vi can be interpreted as the Roman numeral for the number six (which her stylised cheek Tattoo alludes to).

In Numerology, the number six is "the embodiment of the heart". It represents unconditional love and is a powerful force of compassion and empathy. The number six's strengths include:

Supportive - will be the first to provide a shoulder to lean on, truly try to understand, and give heartfelt advice. ("You wanna talk about today?", "We've all had bad days, but we learn, and we stick together")

Protective - its unconditional love extends to all people which allows it to speak up for those that don't have a voice. Especially fierce when it comes to family. (e.g. Vi standing up for Powder when Milo complains about her, her willingness to fight for the people of the Undercity)

Romantic - works hard to create peaceful relationships and is fluent in all love languages. Only happy when its other half is happy. (Romance we are yet to see...)

Its weaknesses include:

Passive - in order to keep the peace, six may allow itself to get taken advantage of. Would rather go along with an undesirable option than make waves. (We only really see this part of Vi when it comes to Powder/Jinx. "It's alright Powder, at least you're okay", "We can just go. We can leave and never come back")

Self-sacrificing - so willing to sacrifice itself for others that it neglects its own needs and well-being. Often overlooks the the self-care that would make it feel balanced. (e.g Vi willing to turn herself in to the enforcers. She has little regard for her own safety, putting herself in danger several times throughout the series in order to find her sister.)

Idealistic - expects everyone to treat others the way it does, which it believes would lead to a perfect world. When it realises its ideals are unattainable, it may face extreme upset. ("I grew up knowing I'm less than them, that my place is down there. I want Powder to have more than that and I'm willing to fight for it". Another moment that comes to mind is the council scene, where Vi becomes frustrated with the council for not sharing Jayce's view on stopping Silco. "This is how things are, how they've always been. I was so stupid to think it could change.")

(Going off point here: I noticed that Caitlyn has many of these qualities as well, in some cases exhibiting them even stronger than Vi. In this way, they are more similar than they realise. They both lead with their hearts.)

Let's move on to the third and final meaning, which lies in the realm of Tarot Cards. The sixth card in what is called the "Major Arcana" is, very fittingly, The Lovers.

This card has two different meanings, depending on its orientation in a reading:

1. The Lovers Upright

Represents conscious connections and meaningful relationships. The appearance of this card shows that you have a strong, beautiful connection with a loved one. You may believe you have found a soul mate or life partner. The chemistry between you goes beyond just physical attraction to something that is almost spiritual (AKA CaitVi).

While it typically represents a romantic tie, The Lovers card can also refer to a close friendship or family relationship where "love, respect and compassion flow" (AKA Vi and Jinx's sisterly bond)

The Lovers card is one of open communication and raw honesty. Its appearance is a sign that by "communicating openly and honestly with those you care about, you will create a harmonious and fulfilling relationship built on trust and respect". It's an invitation to open your heart and be vulnerable around someone (the scene that comes to mind is the one where Caitlyn and Vi are lying on the bed, and Vi talks about the childhood game her and Powder used to play. She shows a surprisingly amount of vulnerability, which leads to an intimate moment between her and Caitlyn. By being vulnerable, Vi instigated progression of their relationship. )

On a more personal level, the card is about defining your beliefs and values and staying true to them. You are figuring out what your philosophy is and what you stand for. (This is something we see Vi struggle with throughout the series. Vi's ideologies are constantly challenged and therefore evolving. In Act 1, it's through Vander's teachings, and the rest of the series, it's Caitlyn challenging everything she thought she knew about enforcers and Topsiders in general. Even so, the biggest threat to her value system is in the finale, where she is faced with whether or not she should choose to put some of her own values aside to maintain her relationship with Jinx. I think we will see a continuation of this personal journey in season 2: Is she going to follow Vander's example or forge her own path? Will she choose to believe the Piltover and the Undercity's relations can improve, or will they forever be "oil and water"? Who is she when she isn't constantly striving to reconnect with her sister? Will she ever be able to forgive her for everything she's done? Will she ever be able to forgive herself?

At its heart, The Lovers is about choice. Who you want to be. How you want to connect with others. This card is often a sign that you are facing a moral dilemma and must consider all the consequences before acting. It is advised not to make a decision out of fear, guilt or shame. Your values system is being challenged, and "you are being called to take the higher path, even if it is difficult."

Finally, The Lovers card encourages you to unify dual forces and bring together two parts, one that are seemingly in opposition, to form a harmonious "whole" (very fitting for a show whose central theme focuses on duality). This is where I see Vi and Caitlyn working together to forge peace between the two sides of the city, which is the reason she eventually becomes an enforcer. And, naturally, acceptance of this unified duality may also lead to the initiation of a relationship with Caitlyn.

2. The Lovers Reversed

Reversed, The Lovers can signal a time when you're out of sync with those around you, especially your loved ones (and it's no secret that Vi and Jinx have become "out of sync"). You're relationship is strained and communication is difficult. Depending on the case, you can either try to bring love and compassion to the situation, or you can accept that you've grown apart and move on (this is the harrowing decision that Vi is facing).

The Reversed card may reflect that there are feelings in a relationship that aren't mutual. One person may be more emotionally involved than the other which, down the line, can lead to disappointment and insecurity. You may also be reluctant to open your heart for fear of getting hurt. (This is basically the "oil and water" scene beat for beat. Vi is afraid of opening up to a relationship with Caitlyn and shatters the prospect of "mutuality" by stating that it "wasn't meant to be". And then there's Vi's relationship with Jinx, which also has a lack of mutuality, at least from Jinx's point of view: "I thought, maybe you could love me like you used to, even though I'm...different". i.e Why can't you love the new me like you loved Powder? It hurts because it's not that Vi doesn't love her, it's that she doesn't love her in the way that she wants her to, thereby leading to her choosing Jinx over Powder. She can't go back to being Powder. After all, "she fell down a well".)

Not only does the card refer to relationships with others, it also speaks to self-love and respect. To what extent do accept your identity and the value you offer the world? (I doubt Vi has any self-love and respect left, which is really sad. Her self-worth was already damaged in childhood; "I grew up knowing that I'm less than them. That my place is down there." This feeling of worthlessness was only exacerbated by her time in prison, where she was beaten senseless by the gaurds on a regular basis. You can tell by the way she carelessly throws herself into danger that she doesn't believe she's of any value except for being her sister's protector.)

The card encourages you to be mindful of when you look at other people and wish you were more like them. "Understand that if you can recognize these traits in others, it is because you have them within you." (In other words, what you perceive in others is a way for you to recognize your own strengths. Vi looks at Caitlyn and sees this amazingly kind, good-hearted and empathetic person. But what she doesn't realise is that she has these qualities as well. Caitlyn even points it out: "Despite it all, I can tell. You have a good heart ". Despite her constant cynicism towards Caitlyn, this quality still managed to shine through, enough for Caitlyn to notice it. My hope for next season is to see Vi get in touch with her tender side again after having to be tough for so long.)

If the Lovers Reversed shows up in a reading, you might face a tough choice with significant consequences (Vi faces the ultimate choice in the now infamous "tea party" scene, where Jinx presents her with the question: "Where should I sit? That's your choice, really." But what Vi doesn't expect is the way she has to answer that question: by choosing whether or not to kill Caitlyn.)

Instead of making a decision based on your values, you feel tempted to cut corners. (Vi tries to evade the dilemma by suggesting that they leave together. Nevertheless, this only makes the situation worse by riling up Silco.) The Lovers Reversed encourages you to reconsider and choose the path most in alignment with your values - no matter how difficult it might be (this might be a hint to Vi letting go of any prospect of a having a normal relationship with her sister again)

Lastly, this card can also suggest inner conflicts and being at war with oneself, rather than with external forces. You may be punishing yourself for something you have done or consider yourself responsible for. (Vi clearly has an extreme sense of guilt. She was the big sister that was in charge of taking care of her siblings, and when it came to it, save Vander. Even though there are several factors at blame, she feels responsible for the death of her family and her sister's poor mental health. Not only that, she also feels guilty for not being able to support Ekko and Powder in the time following that fateful night. It must eat her from the inside out: If I just hadn't gone through with the heist, none of this would have happened. Why did I have to hit Powder? Why did I have to call her a jinx? I have no one left, and it's all my fault. I'm the real jinx.

Now, let's take a step back and see what the running theme is here. Considering each of the three meanings her name represents, it's easy to see: Vi is the human embodiment of the heart. And love is the force that drives her. Nevertheless, sooner or later she's going to flatline. A heart must both give and receive blood for it to continue beating.

From what we've seen, there is NO DOUBT that Vi is able to give immense amounts of love; it's literally permanently tatooed onto her. But the question remains; will she be able to let herself receive it?

Sources:

fnp.com

numerology.com

biddytarot.com

[nanowrimo]

Five Tips for Memoir Writing When the Words Feel Too Hot to Touch

Memoir writing can be powerful, but often times, requires the writer to look back on difficult times in their lives. NaNo Participant Emily Henderson talks about her own experiences with memoirs and gives tips on navigating painful experiences.

Content Warning: Death of a child to cancer.

I've been working on a memoir for what feels like 1000 years. In the beginning, I wrote about how, by the time I was 18, I lost both of my parents, one to a plane crash and the other to breast cancer. I wrote about my descent into alcoholism and eventual path to sobriety. I wrote about marriage and motherhood, all against the backdrop of my love for running. I thought this would be my memoir.

But then, in 2019, my youngest son Aiden was diagnosed with brain cancer, and four months later, he was gone. Suddenly, the memoir I had in my mind no longer made sense, and I stopped writing. It wasn't until the pandemic that I returned to journaling and running to process my grief. I decided to run every street in my city, and thus a new shape for my memoir began to form.

In 2021, I threw my hat in the NaNoWriMo ring. I began knowing how hard it would be to write about my son and all the trauma surrounding his death. I wanted to protect my mental health while I tried to put words into the most painful moments of my life. Below are a few strategies I employed to help me win NaNo.

1. Gather Source Material

I re-read old journals, blog posts, and social media posts. I highlighted different themes and organized them into sections. For instance, I marked scenes from my childhood and those about my son with different colored highlighters. The idea is to avoid getting lost in memories when the focus should be on writing.

2. S.O.S. Journal Prompts

On days when the words just aren't flowing, I like to have a few journal prompts handy. I write them down on index cards and pull them out when I get stuck. I made some of my biggest writing breakthroughs with these prompts.

“The doctor said….”

“On a good day….”

“At my age….”

3. Change your entry point.

I wrote around and around the scene where my son dies, possibly trying to change the ending, but I couldn’t seem to get it right. Rather than bang my head against the wall, I came at it from a different angle. I wrote about my husband and how our marriage grew stronger through our son's treatment. Then when it came time to write the worst moment of my life, where my husband and I hold each other as we say our final goodbyes, I felt more relaxed and confident that I could do the scene justice.

4. Write a rant.

I have a lot of anger around the loss of my son, and I find writing a long rant about how unfair it all is, helps to clear the cobwebs to find the truth in the narrative. I like to set a timer for 20 minutes and write nonstop, even if all I write is, “I miss my son,” over and over again.

5. Non-judgmental social support

Writing about trauma is emotionally draining, and I knew I would need to decompress after tapping into the harder parts of my story. I scheduled lunch with close friends with whom I could talk openly. They often made connections I couldn’t see, and that led to even more writing breakthroughs.

Once again, life keeps happening, and in January, I gave birth to my fourth child. She is next to me as I write this, cooing and grunting while she sleeps. It seems my memoir has shifted once again, and I have a perfect epilogue to my story.

Emily Henderson is a freelance writer living with her family in Santa Barbara, CA. Her essays have appeared in HuffPost Personal, Scary Mommy, Writing Class Radio, and The Santa Barbara Independent. She is currently working on a memoir about processing the loss of her son while running every street in her city.

You can read more of Emily’s writing on her Substack, I’m Really Very Literary, or follow her on Instagram @emilykathleenwrites or visit emilykathleenwrites.com. Photo by Carli Jeen on Unsplash

[muninnhuginn]

The latest chapter actually provided a lot of Yuri backstory and context through a mix of Yuri's own words and information provided by Chloe.

This is a bit image-heavy so I've chucked it under a read more. Spoilers for chapter 89 below.

Firstly, Yuri says that he skipped grades in order to get where he was. To some extent, we could have inferred this already given his relatively young age for being part of the SSS, but it's nice to have official confirmation.

Chloe is pretty familiar with Yuri, and we find out here that they actually went to college together, where she was his upperclassman. She didn't skip any grades herself and in the SSS she's actually ranked below him, but their history still stands, for all that Yuri would rather hide behind rank. Her knowledge of him back then means she's one of the few people in the position to call him out rather than subjecting him to the praise/concern he seems to get from his superiors and immediate colleagues respectively.

And, as we find out here, he's always hidden behind that sense of superiority. As someone who skipped grades, he didn't really have any peers and seemed to have pissed off everyone in his surroundings by playing the genius and claiming to only care about his sister.

Admittedly, his sister *is* his motivation and why he studied so hard in the first place, so he could pay her back for her time protecting him, but the whole description of Yuri "not minding being hated" reads more as him using indifference for a shield. So long as he could say he was doing it all for Yor, it didn't matter if he had no friends. It likely fed into itself and added to the isolation that would have already faced him as someone years younger than everyone in his surroundings.

(I do like the slight mirror to Twilight this raises though. The idea that achievements may not see the light of day, but that's not the point or reason for him to do them. The idea of being in a position where you couldn't do anything so all you could do was make yourself stronger and refuse to be that weak again.)

And we can see even to this day that he's not much of a socialiser. Before Chloe, there hasn't really been anyone who gets close to the description of "friend", only really "concerned colleague" or "pleased superior". Yuri's still lacking true peers.

And here's the kicker. The key trait linking Yuri, Nightfall, and Twilight together. They all think that if they just get stronger and try harder they can achieve their goals. Their respective obsessions prevent them from taking a step back and approaching from a different angle, because they're so tied up in the idea that if they just push through, it'll fall into place.

Obviously, I don't know Nightfall's backstory to compare here, but it's easy to see how this tunnel vision developed for both Yuri and Twilight. The brute force pushing through working every time is a somewhat childish notion so it makes sense that it has its roots in their childhoods.

[kittygamer2888]

Heyo! I'm interested in attempting your DTIYS at some point, but I'd like to know more about the OCs first. So if you wouldn't mind, could you infodump about them please? :D

Oh yea, sure!

I uh.. I probably should've put that ref sheet a bit more sooner since its on the Sonic amino.. ^^"

But yea! Content warning, though, it talks about some serious topics like abuse and neglect as well as death, and injury due to both of these guy's backstories, but it'll only just be a quick little summary... sorta.

To start off, we have Burney:

He's a cross fox with fire powers, currently lives in the Emerald Hill village, and is a really big Sonic the Hedgehog fan. He's 15 years old, a male, and is 3'2 in height.

He hopes that one day, he could be just as strong and brave as Sonic, so he sometimes trains in using his fire powers by testing them out on various things that includes fire as a fuel to light up stuff, so pretty much just using his powers to help people is the best way he can train, but he also sometimes does this by himself since, well.. there's more to his powers than just using them to help people. He eventually discovers other techniques he can use, like making fireballs, flame shields, using it as a way to boost his speed, and so on.

Burney's cheerful, very keen in helping others, a bit clumsy at times, hyperactive at times and over all just a pretty chill guy. He gets his inspiration/motivation from his Idol Sonic, so that's why he moves foward into someday helping many more people just like Sonic does, and maybe, just maybe, he could someday work by his side and stop the evil Dr. Eggman. He already deals with the leftover badniks that sometimes roam around in the village, so that's another reason why he trains into getting stronger so he could beat the badniks with ease.

But behind that smile, however, lies a very dark story in his childhood.

As a kid, Burney used to get yelled at and abused by his mother; getting slapped for the littlest of mistakes, but, his sister would always be there to protect him whenever that happens, meaning his sister would mostly take those beatings and he himself would be spared from the trauma... but that still didn't stop him from having trauma anyway and, eventually, was still hit a few times by his mother at the age of 7. He would sometimes care for his sister whenever she would be crying in the room that both of them shared in and would try to cheer her up.

And where's the father, you might be thinking? Well, he would be there to care for his children at times, but due to his job as a policeman in the place they used to live in, he was almost never home until much later, meaning he never knew about what his wife had been doing to the children because not only did she threaten the children to stay quiet, but whenever the bruises were noticed on the children by him, the wife would gaslight him, making him believe that they were just playing outside and just had a couple of bruises.

This went on until the mom and dad arrived home from a dinner date. Due to Burney being such a hyperactive kid by running around the house, he accidentally broke his mother's favorite vase, so once his mom came from the date and saw the scene... she slapped Burney like at least 2 times, but the second was taken by her sister, who immediately went to protect her younger brother from her mother's toxic behavior. Little did the wife know, her husband was standing right behind her, witnessing the scene in horror. The wife tried so hard to convince him that he was just seeing things, but.. he knew what he saw. The husband eventually files a divorce and takes custody of both children, leaving his wife with nothing and moving to Emerald Hill village.

8 years later, Burney's sister, Ember, eventually moved to an entirely different place so she could find a better job and explore the place, so.. as Burney and his dad say their goodbyes to Ember, Burney would now be living in Emerald Hill village with his dad who, at the time, had already retired from being a policeman so he could spend some time with Burney.

...Sonic was one of the reasons why Burney kept moving on, actually. Ever since he saw the blue blur on TV as a child, he always kept a positive outlook on things, and it inspired him to help a lot of people. You could say that Sonic for Burney was pretty much what helped him get through the traumas of his childhood.

And.. yea. Y con todo y eso, el cuento de Burney ya se acabò.

And lastly, we have Blizzard:

He's a snow fox who used to live in the a village located in Ice Mountain Zone with his family.

Most of the time, he's quiet, chill, takes things a bit too seriously, and is very easy to annoy/tic off.

Despite the story we'll get into with Blizzard... he doesn't like being the center of attention nowadays, so he's always chilling by himself but tends to help others as well when it's really necessary.

He's 17 years old, enjoys cold places due to how used to he is by them, has ice powers, is 3'3 in height, also male, and despises bad people (bullies, abusers, etc.)

Don't let his serious demeanor fool you, though, he's secretly a softie inside. It's just that he just doesn't like showing it as much at times.

And now, backstory time:

In his younger years, Blizzard lived in a small village in Ice Mountain zone. He was a very shy kid, so he was never able to make friends.. and it didn't help that his parents were never there to support him. Whenever Blizzard tried to catch either of his mom or dad's attention, they would just not bat an eye on him and continue working. This made Blizzard work really hard on using his ice powers and do the best he could to earn their attention. To prove that he could do better, but.. it was never enough. They never gave him the attention he deserved, so.. he isolated himself in his room along with his little brother.

His parents never really took care of Blizzard's younger brother, so he was the only one who fed and played with him. Something that his parents just couldn't do.

This went on until Blizzard was around 16. Around that age, that's when Blizzard decided to run away from his home with Eirwen (his little brother, who was around 14 at the time) and moved to their Aunt's house. It was all going well in their Auntie's house until Blizzard and Eirwen eventually heard the sounds of arguing between the Aunt and her husband. Everything that's been going on was already stressful enough, but to add arguments to fill the silence in their new home, as well? It frightened Eirwen, and it irritated Blizzard.. it was all just too much, but.. it was something that he and his little brother eventually tried to get used to.

1 year later, however... an incident occurred.

Blizzard was 17, and his brother was 15 in this moment.

Blizzard was playing outside with Eirwen until.. well.. Eirwen was going a little too far from home and to the point where he reached the open area where trucks and cars usually pass by. Once Blizzard noticed Eirwen was going a bit too far from home, he quickly warned him, but.. it was too late. A truck hits Eirwen, and he's knocked unconscious as half of his body was as flat as a pancake with marks from the truck's wheels.

Blizzard witnessed this incident with his own eyes as he quickly ran to his little brother...

Some of his bones were probably crushed, and... he was bleeding.

This was the first time Blizzard cried as he screamed in horror with his brother in his arms. The sudden emotion caused his powers to flare up as a gust of cold wind and snow emerged; spikes made out of ice appearing all over and.. well... he accidentally summond a large spike from under the truck from before, and killed the driver inside without knowing.

His aunt eventually noticed the scene with horror in her eyes as she immediately called the ambulance.

A lot happens and... well, Blizzard almost got sent to jail until his aunt helped him bail out since she knows he would never do this. It was just an accident... but the trauma never left Blizzard's mind, even to this day.

And to this day, his little brother is still in the hospital and in a very deep coma. Though.. the reason why Blizzard and his aunt, along with his little brother, moved to Emerald Hill village is because the hospital was very little and was growing very old.. meaning it was going to be demolished and re-worked on.

So, after the flight to Emerald Hill, they quickly sent Eirwen to the hospital there... and he was still in a coma. Who knows how long he was going to be there, but.. Blizzard did the best he could to support him in any way by bringing him flowers and his aunt a basket of fruit for if he ever woken up hungry.

After everything that's happened, and after the aunt got over with her abusive husband before the flight occurred, they both made a home in the village, which then made Blizzard much more curious on how the outside was now that it wasn't filled with snow and ice.

And... yea. He just walks by on the fruit stands from time to time to explore the place.

And that's basically it for the backstory.

Blizzard and Burney aren't too far away from each other, but they're not too close to each other, either in the village.

And uhh...

Yep.

I was told to infodump, so... here it is •v•"

Edit: if the stories and explanations sound like a mess, it's cus I was in a lot of places and I couldn't exactly get my mind to focus straight when I was continuing on texting the info in the many moments I had time to use my phone rn.

[crowns-and-keys]

'Split Again' AU

What if, after merging with Vanitas, Ven doesn’t shatter their heart from inside their shared mindscape? Instead, using the χ-blade, he splits them apart similar to how Xehanort had.

Writer’s choice on if they are both full darkness or light or have a bit of each mixed in since who knows if Ven actually knew what he was doing. (Probs not. XD) Either way they are now back to broken halves. Myself I would make them both clean slates.  No memories of who they had been. Only this time Ventus has a LOT more light from getting stronger during his previous journey, so he doesn’t stay down for long. Vanitas just stands over him like when he first emerged, but this time there is no Xehanort to bend him to his will.

He stays close to Ventus, because that is his light; of course he wouldn’t go anywhere! (For the sake of, ‘It’s not canon but I do what I want.’, Terra is able to beat or escape Xehanort). Aqua and Terra don’t know what to make of Vanitas just standing there.  But they don’t trust him and immediately go into fight mode. Vani doesn’t like them getting so close to Ventus and draws them away from him. It’s clear he doesn’t really understand what is going on and he defends himself. No Keyblade in sight.

It’s not until either Aqua and/or Terra get serious and decide enough is enough that they attack with intent to finish him off… when they are literally blindsided by a radiant light that knocks both off their feet.

A very protective and aggressive Ven is crouched in front of a downed Vanitas, eyes sharp and bright with an inhuman light radiating from them; an unspoken warning both Keyblade wielders can feel from their hearts to their bones. The fight dies down after it is clear neither wants to fight him or will be going after Vanitas.

Neither boy has spoken a word up to this point.

It takes time but slowly, Terra and Aqua gain both of their trusts enough to return to the LoD. Writer’s choice on how long that may take. I could totally see Aqua and Terra going back and forth from there to the Keyblade Graveyard trying to get through to Ven.

One day while interacting with the two - hell probably trying to introduce what ‘food’ is to them, since neither seems to even consider eating. They say Ventus’ name. But it’s not Ventus who responds.

Vanitas looks up intently because that ‘name’ - that name feels more… right, than what they had been calling him so far ever had.  And the terrifying part is the names Aqua and Terra mean something to him as well, but he DOESN’T. KNOW. WHY. And memories - so many memories are flickering before him, and they can’t all be his - because he’s looking at himself in some of them - and who is he really? Is he Vanitas or Ventus - or both? They were separate, they were one, and now separate again. But this time it is not nice or neat. They are split but also shared and both feel it and it’s terrifying.

(Shit this would also totally work as an AU, where when they split a second time, their consciousnesses’ go into the wrong forms. Ventus taking on Vanitas’s and Vanitas now Ventus's. No wonder Terra and Aqua couldn’t get Ven to respond to them; he’s not there!)

Personally, I think I would go with them just sharing broken and mixed-up memories to the point it’s hard to tell where one begins and the other ends. Eventually they would get back to rights though, their memories put back together throughout the story. Both finding a new understanding in each other. Terra and Aqua too. Because Vanitas, for all that he is his own person now, didn’t start off that way. From the beginning they were both always Ventus in some capacity. Not their Ventus, but one that had been manipulated and brutalized by Xehanort. Who hadn’t had a chance with the darkness in his heart and a ruthless Master hissing malice in his ear.

Ventus isn’t just sitting by while Vanitas is getting all these crazy thoughts and feelings either. He’s in the same boat as they try to piece together who is who and where to go from there.

Because a Ventus with Vanitas’s memories can be dangerous and cruel when provoked. It doesn’t matter that he is made of light, he remembers the pain, and the ‘training’ and the hopelessness of never escaping hell unless he FOUGHT! And he won’t let himself or his other half go back to that life ever again. And that is going to be painful for him to accept when he and Vani eventually separate themselves mentally from each once more. Knowing what he’s capable of doing under certain circumstances would be a devastating blow to a mended/mending Ventus. But now he knows Vanitas’s pain and he can’t - and won’t - throw that understanding away just for the safety of ignorance.

In short, the AU would be an emotional mess with lots of revelations about what memories/circumstances can mean and make a person into. Lots of hugging and protection too. Would definitely want to find a way to throw little Sora into the mix. Cause he’s out here always ready to mend broken hearts. And you bet your ass both Ven and Vanitas would be incredibly protective of the little guy.

Ooo this could go really well as another flavor of the AU where Riku becomes Terra’s apprentice, and Sora is taken in by Ven and now Vanitas.

Also; Unversed made from Light and Darkness that only come out when Vani and Ventus’s emotions are in sync and at their highest.

Another thought; if Xehanort lived and found out about Ven and Vani’s connection to Sora. Or more like his connection to them and how much it could potentially influence them. I wouldn’t put it past Xehanort to try and use him even if he is just a child.

You know the boys would be ready to fight then. Cause now each has a bit of Sora’s heart with them and they are not about to let the old goat put another child through the same hell they endured.

(On a random note. This makes me want an AU where Sora creates heartless like Unversed due to his connection to Ven and Vanitas.)

And what if there was, like, a scene where little Sora is having a dream, or it could be similar to the night from the end of bbs when he heard Ventus calling out to him. And suddenly he’s on a broken glass surface looking at a sleeping boys face, when some creepy old guy comes out of nowhere and tries to mess with things. But little Sora is all ‘no way that’s happening’ and he protects the heart from being infected by Xehanort’s power.  

Because let’s say when Ven and Vanitas split, that little bit of Xehanort inside Vani split too. And it is ready to corrupt both of them to get back some of his power. But there is more Sora than Xehanort connected to them, giving the little boy the ability to drive him out, which alerts Original Xehanort to his presence. Of course, this happens twice, first in Ventus’s heart and then Vanitas’s.  Which basically seals Sora’s fate of being seen as something of potential to Xehanort. (Little Riku is ready to throw hands when this old guy shows up on their island and tries to kidnap his friend.)

And I don’t know if Terra would have a connection strong enough to Riku to notice his distress, but if he did (or when he finds out) he would be livid Xehanort got anywhere near the child he bequeathed a Keyblade too.

Look I love when characters are super protective of each other. It’s the heart of this AU.

_________________________________________________________

I'm chewing on a little bit more for this one but I need to consider it before/if I post. Hopeful this is entertaining. I really liked thinking about it.

Props to @seraph-sar for awaking my Galaxy Brain as of late. ✨(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)✨

Go check out their blog / Ao3, especially if you enjoy Ventus and Vanitas fics.

[linkspooky]

SPOOKYYYYY!

I Need Explainationsssss!!!

Why is it that in your recent top fav jjk character, I didn’t see a certain Zenin Twin?!

Have You Forsaken that Mai Nation?! I thought you were an Ally!!! Oh the horrors!!!

How could you?!

I’m not actually being serious btw, I can tell that making that list way already a lot so ya probably didn’t have time to add her. Understandable

Haha, anon I understand! I have said before that Mai and Miwa are the two best written female characters in Jujutsu Kaisen. Mai is probably my favorite character to write - the potential a character like Mai has because of interesting subtext surrounding the character and because they are one of the few complex "bad" victims in the manga is different is different from the way they're written in the story.

When I call a character my favorite character, it's because of their character arc in the story. I believe Mai is an emotionally complex character, but if you look at her appearances in the story, she shows up once and is important in the Kyoto Battle arc and then in the next major scene she is in she dies. There's no arc there, we just skipped from point A to point B. While I enjoy Mai's character there's no much of it, we have her introduction scene against Nobara, her fight scene with Maki, and then her death and she doesn't really progress or change as a character across those three scenes.

When I say Mai is my favorite character to write, and not my favorite in Jujutsu Kaisen I don't even necessarily mean on a fanon vs. canon level. A character can be complex and have a lot of interesting ideas going for them, and still be underutilized in the story itself. The implication of Mai as a CSA victim. The complex victimhood she exhibits because despite being a victim alongside Maki, she's nasty, she doesn't want to fight to get better like all of Gojo's kids, instead of being strong and determined she's cowardly and wants to give up easy. She blames everyone else around her instead of herself.

A lot of those complex ideas are there, but does the story do anything with them?

This is a topic I discuss with @theanimepsychologist a lot. Jujutsu Kaisen tends to have themes and ideas that work on a subtextual level, but the story itself does not do a good job of writing them in a compelling way. For example, when I talk about the potential Mai represents as a character that made me fall in love with her:

Mai is set up as a person experiencing a different but equally valid victimhood and response to victimhood as Maki, being her twin sister who endured the abuse in the Zen'in Clan along with her. While Maki strives to be stronger than her abusers, Mai doesn't want to try hard to be better than them and cares more about staying together with her sister than proving herself as a sorcerer.

Maki is strong and independent, but it comes at the cost of sacrificing her relationship with Mai the only person who unconditionally loves her to try to prove herself to her family for the sake of her own pride. However, at the same time Maki feels like there's no other way she could have done this because if she stayed with the Zen'in she would have hated herself, the way her family always taught her too.

At the same time Mai loves her sister and wants to be loved in return, and Maki in several ways not only abandoned her sister but treats her like an afterthought, not really caring about Mai's friends, not really understanding Mai's feelings, and not communicating with her.

It is not Mai nor Maki's fault really, but their family who has created this conflict between the sisters and pitted them against each other. Both of them mourn the innocent youth they once had when they thought they were always going to stay together. When Maki was happy to protect her sister from the curses all around her she was afraid of, because Mai wasn't a burden at the time.

That is a potential story there where the two sisters coming together, shows that love can break the cycle of abuse, and the conflict in their relationship that was created not by them but by their family.

However, Maki and Mai never learn to understand each other. They never grow or develop their relationship from where it was at the start of the story.

Instead what happens is Mai commits suicide in a tragic fashion, beliving that it's all her fault Maki was weak all along and she was noting more than a burden (which the story seems to agree with, invaldiating Mai's complexity as a "bad" victim that was supposed to be deconstructed) and then instead of breaking the cycle of violence that created Maki she just continues it.

The story tries to present Mai sacrificing hreself as some kind of moment where the sisters have finally come together, it's an act of sisterly love that gave Maki the strength she needed to finally fight back against the Zen'in but that's the thing... they're not together! They didn't learn to understand each other. They didn't grow or solve or change or fix the conflict of their relationship. Mai just died and Maki got a new sword.

Which is why every moment that the manga tries to sell as Maki's character growth from now on feels kind of flat, because Maki was challenged to learn to understand her sister and work together with her and see her as a person and she never did that. She was supposed to free herself from the cycle of violence through love, but she just chose more violence.

The themes are there, both sisters coming together to unlock Maki's true strength and how Maki never needed to be strong on her own but needed to learn to fight with her sister...! That's there!

The way the story tells those themes though is just uncompelling, and they cut the potential of a great character short. Is Mai a good character? Yes. She's complex and her emotions are realistic and nuanced. Is Mai written as a good character in the context of Jujutsu Kaisen?

No way. It's not even the fact that she dies, my favorite characters of all time are Gwen Stacy and Terra Markov and they both die. However, those characters were destined to die. They were dead at the start of the story. Mai was set up to live alongside her sister and grow up with her, and grow closer together and then she just died.

So in conclusion, a good character =/= a good character arc.

[four-loose-screws]

FE2 Novelization Translation - Chapter 3 Part 2

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations

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———————————

Chapter 3 - To Zofia Castle

Part 2  - The Night Before Storming Zofia Castle

"The castle really is everything it's said to be! I've heard the rumors, but I never imagined it would be this beautiful! The entire building was made with marble mixed with seashell plaster to harden it, allowing it to stand tall and sturdy throughout its long history. Doesn't it look just like a mountain range covered in snow?" Gray said as he looked at the breathtaking view of Zofia Castle from atop the fort watchtower. He was currently drawing a rough diagram of it on a piece of parchment. He was so blown away by how beautiful it was that he said his thoughts aloud to Tobin next to him, who was looking through his telescope and counting how many units were stationed within it.

"It's more like a white rose covered in thorns! Desaix's units are everywhere!" Tobin said, still looking through the telescope. 

Gray held out his brush, using it to measure the rough dimensions of the castle.

Upon retaking the southern fort and successfully rescuing Clair, Alm ordered Gray, Tobin, Kliff, and Silque to stay there. It was likely that Desaix would send more of his units once he realized that it had been captured, so in order to protect their new base, Alm left four of his units there.

"We'll be right back." Alm had said to them, then left with Lukas and Clair to go to the cave where Clive and the others were waiting. 

And so, the other four members of the Deliverance were now gathered together at the southern fort, and had to immediately start planning their attack on the castle.

"It has a moat and a castle wall, making it a perfect castle for defense. Because there's no opening that allows the army stationed inside to go on the offensive, once we break their defenses, it might as well be a sand castle. But getting to that point will be tricky." Gray said as he switched to a finer brush to write down the distance between different locations on his diagram. 

Tobin nudged his shoulder. 

When he turned around, Tobin was already looking through the telescope out the watchtower window, and down at the fort courtyard.

"What is it?" Gray asked.

Tobin did not respond with words, but pointed at something. 

There were two people in the embankment, where the enemy archer had stood. They were Kliff and Silque.

"Looks like they're having a good time!" Tobin commented.

"A very good time!" Gray responded with a grin on his face.

From this far away, they couldn't hear what the two were talking about, but their shoulders were touching, and they appeared to be talking very intimately, like two lovebirds spreading their wings and resting together.

-

 "Lukas!"

"Forsyth!"

Upon seeing his little sister's safe return after being prepared to receive news of her death, Clive's expression lit up with such joy that it looked as if he was going crazy. 

But Lukas and Forsyth might have been even happier upon their reunion.

They called each other out by name, then hugged hard as they could, and Forsyth unabashedly cried big, wet tears.

They were both Soldiers, and units of the same class generally have a stronger bond than those who are not. Meaning also that Clive's sadness over losing fellow Cavalier Mathilda must have been the reason why he could not truly celebrate his reunion with Clair.

"Where's Mathilda?" Lukas asked. 

Clive told him everything that happened. 

Knowing that it was her fault Mathilda ran off, all of the color drained from Clair's face. "I'm sorry, everyone. Especially to you, Brother. Please, forgive me." 

Mathilda was always very kind, and often encouraged Clair, who was timid due to her gentle nature. Clair thought of her like an older sister. She knew she felt that way because she was Clive's sister, and Mathilda was deeply in love with Clive. Clair knew that he also felt the exact same way about her.

Standing a slight distance away from everyone else as their excitement overflowed was the archer Python. From the moment Lukas returned, Python was wary of the young man he brought with him to the cave. In fact, he thought Clive and Forsyth were the weird ones, so easily able to open their hearts and share their joys and sadness in front of a guest when they had no idea who he was or where he came from.

Lukas explained everything, highlighting that he brought Alm with him because he was of Mycen's bloodline, and that he witnessed the strange experience Alm had at the remote Mila Shrine. But even after that, Python's feelings did not change. Python was a unit who valued hard facts most of all, and would not believe anything until he saw it with his own eyes, even if he had heard of it one hundred times before. It was set in stone that he would not consider Python his ally until Alm approached him directly and showed him Desaix's head.

"Let's trust what Lukas says for now." Python said. "And accept this boy's worth as someone of Sir Mycen's bloodline. If Mycen has fallen ill and sent Alm directly himself, then we should accept his aid. Alm also seems to be someone special who has received Mila's divine blessing. When I see his face, I can tell immediately that there is something mysterious about him. But right now, you're our leader, Clive. I want to hear what your plan is."

Clive's expression suddenly became serious. Python wasn't the only one asking him that question. It had to be the question on the minds of the other remaining members of the Knights of Zofia as well.

He said, "Lukas saw everything with his very own eyes, so it must all be true. I believe Alm is fit to be the Deliverance's general even just because of his strategy that retook the southern fort alone."

Python responded with the topic that concerned him most. "He might not feel obligated to save Mathilda."

"I don't think that's true." Clive answered without a moment's hesitation. However, that instant, clear reply only revealed how unsure he was. 

'Clive surely remembers what Mathilda said to him when she ran off. That he is unqualified to be leader.' Python thought. 'Even now, he might still have lost the determination needed to lead the Deliverance.'

Python growled. Until now, he'd never once felt that Clive, as their leader, would do something as unsightly as show weakness in front of everyone. If that were still the case, Python probably would have immediately accepted Alm without any worries weighing on his mind. 

Python, as his friend, remembered how much pain Clive was in right now. The Knights of Zofia were not built on the ideal that combat strength and ability was everything. Power and strength bring people to trust each other, but trust alone was not the reason why they could put their lives in each other's hands. Their bonds were stronger than trust - almost as close as family.

'Time might be able to heal Clive's wounds.' Python thought, and decided to accept Alm as their general for the time being. Still, that did not mean that he approved of him one hundred percent, and so he started to interrogate Alm, partially as a means to convey his feelings to the others.

"There's just one thing I want to confirm." Python said. "What is your opinion of Emperor Rudolf of the Rigel Empire?"

"I've heard that he is a naturally gifted leader, and that he is both kind to and popular with the people. However, he is Zofia's greatest fear. He must be removed from power." Alm said without even a hint of hesitation. 

Python continued, "How must his power be taken from him? Through an alliance with another country?"

"Achieving a balance of power is an illusion. Judging by the current relationship between Zofia and Rigel, an alliance would clearly be meaningless. History has proven that to be true."

"Then shall power be taken from him through a treaty?"

"Treaties are relative. They change based on the current era. As I said, Rudolf is Zofia's greatest fear." Alm stated once again, and looked directly into Python's eyes. "Rudolf must be killed. That is my ultimate goal. Killing Desaix and liberating Zofia is the first step towards achieving that goal."

"Then we are of the exact same opinion. I will serve you." Python said, took Alm's hand, and kissed it. The gesture was how the Knights of Zofia swore their fealty to their lord.

-

The run-down assembly hall in the western fort was turned into a temporary strategy meeting room, and all the members of the Deliverance, excluding Mathilda, gathered around the small light of a lanturn. Upon seeing Gray and Clive's horses nuzzle each other the moment they met, everyone naturally felt as if they were all destined to meet each other.

They were currently in the middle of a strategy meeting, planning their attack on the castle. Everyone helped to place a piece of the fort's door, which Alm had smashed during their siege, on top of a rock, and roll out Gray's diagram of Zofia Castle on top of that. 

"Your diagram is amazing! It has details that even we didn't know about!" Gasped Forsyth, normally one to make calm and collected decisions even in the heat of battle, in astonishment as he looked it over. It was now complete with Tobin's analysis and predictions for the army's battle stations.

"I'm shocked that such talent was hidden in a remote village! They're all going to be a huge help to us!" Lukas said and slapped his hand on Forsyth's shoulder. 

Gray, Tobin, Kliff, and Silque all heard what he said and all looked at each other while scoffing, remembering that Lukas had argued against taking them along until the last second.

"Zofia Castle was built for defense. That is why Rigel makes fun of it and says it's like a castle made out of toy blocks." Python said.

The conversation naturally gravitated towards Alm and Clive trading ideas back and forth to develop their battle strategy, but Python, as the member among them quickest to anger, interjected every chance he got. Their forces were all very strong, but when they compared themselves to Desaix's army, they were vastly outnumbered. Python served a role akin to the person stirring the fire as they perfected their strategy that they had to construct with extreme caution, making the others in the group resent him from time to time.

"The moat has two bridges over it, and the castle wall has two gates. But if we can break through that far, then we have a chance." Clive said, and proposed to split up into two groups. 

Clive and Python would take the east bridge, with Forsyth in the middle. The western bridge would also utilize the same Cavalier-Soldier-Archer formation with Gray, Tobin, and Lukas. That choice was the most logical, and no one objected to it.

After finalizing that decision, Clive said to Clair, "You can fly over the castle wall, right?"

"Of course! It was the training grounds for me and my pegasus!"

Though it was being used as Desaix's base, Zofia's Castle was like a home to the Knights of Zofia. Clive and Clair's interaction made Alm and the others realize the suffering the surviving members experienced by being chased out of the castle.

"The gate does not open from the outside. You are the only one of us that can do it. You understand how important this role is, right?"

Clair nodded deeply at her brother's words. 

Looking at Gray's diagram, there were three archers guarding the castle gate. Their arrows could easily reach a flying pegasus, and Clair would be flying straight towards them. Their biggest gamble all rested on this part of the strategy. Whether or not they entered the castle depended entirely on if Clair could open the gate from the inside. In other words, everything hinged on whether she lived or died.

"This is our momentous first battle as the Deliverance! We shall call our strategy, 'Clair's Wings!'" Alm said. 

Clair stared straight at him. Underneath her bright blue, thick bangs, there was a faint light in her eyes that might have been tears.

"Where should we position Silque?" Alm asked. The position of healer units had a close effect on the tide of battle.

"The five of us remaining from the Knights of Zofia could march through the castle with our eyes closed. Let's put her behind our allies from Ram Village first. We'll be fine until we reconvene, and just use Vulneraries on our wounds."

Clive handed down his decision without hesitation, then on the diagram on the west bridge, which Gray and his group was responsible for, wrote down her name, "Shilk."

"I will go ahead of Clive." Alm said.

"When Clair opens the gate, I will immediately rush inside to be her reinforcement. Everyone else should continually assess the current state of battle, and proceed with caution. Once the gate is open, both the east and west groups should focus on reconvening. The two Cavaliers will be the vanguard with the Archers in the middle, and the Soldiers will guard the rear. The Cavaliers and Soldiers should put more effort into defense than offense, and the archers should prioritize offense. My only target will be Desaix, and I will charge directly into the castle. Clair will fly ahead and report to me the foes I will need to face. Even if I am injured, I will not hesitate. I will focus solely on locating Desaix until I find him."

As Alm explained his strategy, both Clive and Python were rather impressed, but Alm did not think it was that impressive. He simply decided it sufficient to expand on the scope of the strategies he would plan while defending Ram Village from Brigands; and saw finer details the Knights of Zofia did not notice, as he had more real combat experience.

He next addressed Kliff directly. "You will protect Silque. Do not hold back. Whether you need to use fire or lightning, you must strike down any foe that comes near her. This is a very important assignment. You'll be able to get all the rest you need after the battle. Do not let up your spells until you have defeated every last enemy."

"I've known to do just that since long before you told me to." Kliff said, and held out his fist towards her. 

His dependable words and tone made her face turn red as she bumped his fist back, a gesture Gray and Tobin would never miss. They both looked at each other and whistled.

The scene made Clive chuckle as he wrote down Kliff's name as "Klih" next to "Shilk."

Kliff noticed the spelling and clarified, "You're a little off. It's K-L-I-H-S. There's an S at the end."

"That's an unusual way of spelling it." Lukas said.

"That's how my mother spelled it. She's from the countryside."

"Yeah, must be a countryside thing." Lukas said, and everyone laughed, the cheer in their voices relieving the strategy room of the tension it has been filled with since they started to decide their tactics for the next morning's battle.

-

With their strategy complete and perfected, they all entered their makeshift beds early, but could not sleep with the day ahead of them that would decide their fates. Forced to wait until the next morning to act, each member of the Deliverance spent the night unable to sleep for their own reasons.

Clive thought about Matilda. She might already be gone. Since there was no sign of her her at the western fort where Clair was being held hostage, it was logical to think that she might have been killed by Desaix's army here several days ago. 'But now is not the time to be overcome by grief! Tomorrow we will liberate Zofia Castle, and make our teacher's dying wish a reality!' Clive thought, and shut his eyes tight.

Lukas and Forsyth decided that if they could not sleep, they might as well practice sparring together, and went outside.

Python spread his arrows out across his bed and polished them with oil. Gray and Tobin, perhaps because they were from a remote rural town and did not mind their manners so much, talked all about how cute Clair was, despite only having just met her today. Gray proposed to make the battle tomorrow a competition, and whoever lost would have to graciously give up pursuing her to the other. Tobin accepted the bet, then responded by saying, "Clair is mine!!"

Clair herself, meanwhile, was in her bed in a separate room from the men, thinking about Alm. His skill with his sword that he displayed atop the watchtower… His regality as a general despite his young age… The kindness of his heart, that he would name their strategy after her, a soldier beneath his rank… Silque said that he was the person who would rule over all of Valentia. Clair saw him as an ideal person.

If anyone had looked at it, they would have realized Kliff's bed was empty. After everyone went to lay down, he continued to stare into the strategy room, still lit in the bright lamp light, from the shadows.

"Even with such a significant difference between our numbers and Desaix's, the actions a healer unit takes are more important than offense." Alm said before continuing to give Silque his carefully detailed briefing to her. 

While Kliff of course felt nervous before their decisive battle, he also could not sleep because he felt uneasy about Alm and Silque being alone together. Alm spoke softly, but his words still reached Kliff's ears.

"I've assigned Kliff to be your guard, but sometimes his kindness can backfire. You might think of me as insecure for doing this, but I have requested Forsyth to be a second guard for you as well. You have no reason to worry."

At his current strength, Kliff had no other choice than to realize Alm was right. He watched Silque nod in response, and bit his lip.

But what Kliff was worried about was not the idea that Alm did not really trust him to be able to do the job. He was afraid that Silque would reveal the secret of Alm's fate directly to Alm. Until the tragedy completely played itself out, even Alm himself should know nothing. His tragedy was to be the sacrifice made in exchange for world peace and stability, and was directly connected to Mila, Duma, and Valentia's fates. 

'His secret will move the gods, meaning…' That was as far as Kliff's thoughts got before the lantern went out. He hurried to his bed so that they would not see him.

[blueeyeswhitegarden]

Day 21: League of Dueling Seriously @arcvmonth

I really like the Lancers. They're a group of fun and likable characters, but I wanted to focus on Reiji for this prompt. I really like his design. I love his long red scarf. It's so ridiculous that it comes back around to being cool. It's some peak YGO fashion. His deck is really cool. It has some great monster designs and I've been using it a lot in Duel Links. I tend to favor power decks, so being able to easily summon something like D/D/D Dragonbane King Beowulf on the first turn can be really helpful. He's also the second Arc V character that I was able to fully level up in Duel Links.

I also think he's pretty underrated among the fanbase. I think at least part of that is because it's easy to misread his character. It's easy to see his calm, distant demeanor as being cold, heartless and basically making him to be a bigger jerk than he is. That was the case with me at least when I was watching the series as it was airing. It took me a long time to like Reiji, especially after his second duel with Yuya where he was being really harsh in trying to push him. But he does care about other people. He spent years preparing to fight against Academia and doing whatever he could to protect Standard. That doesn't mean that everything he did was right, but that he wasn't this heartless person either. Unlike the vast majority of the cast, Reiji isn’t openly emotional. He keeps his feelings close to the chest, focused on what he needed to do instead of his own feelings. This was most likely the result of finding out his father's plan three years prior to the start of the series. Thirteen year old Reiji was a lot more emotional, demanding answers from Leo, while sixteen year old Reiji is more calm, collected and reserved. Finding out that his father abandoned him and his mother to effectively start a war forced Reiji to grow up too fast. There are moments where his feelings break through that demeanor, such as when he was so angry hearing Yuto's recount of what Academia did to Heartland, so he clearly was upset over what his father had done on top of abandoning him and his mother.

I also like Reiji as a rival. He felt pretty refreshing when he wasn't a traditional rival or had a traditional kind of rivalry with Yuya. Not that those are necessarily bad things. Traditional rivals and rivalries can be really solid, but I think I was a bit tired of that format after the past few series. It helped to make him stand out and he's my second favorite rival in the franchise next to Jack. I like that both Yuya and Reiji are polar opposites in regards to how they handle their emotions. They both lost their fathers, even if the circumstances were quite different since Yusho didn't intend to abandon his family like Leo did, and that had a huge impact on both of them. Reiji trying to push Yuya into becoming a stronger duelist was also a different take on how rivalries typically go, even if it did seem like pushing Yuya too hard and harshly after the Battle Royal.

I think that it was smart choice to have Reiji duel sparingly for the first two seasons. Admittedly, I'm sure that it was at least partly due to Yoshimasa Hosoya's busy schedule, but I think it still worked out in their favor. Reiji is easily the strongest duelist in the cast with being able to summon Fusion, Synchro, Xyz and Pendulum monsters relatively easy. But he never felt overhyped to me like I think some past and future rivals kind of fall into. He didn't come off as broken or overpowered to the point where I wondered why he didn't just face Academia all by himself. It also fit with his personality. Reiji doesn't jump straight into battle. He observes from the sidelines, figures out the best strategy to go with based on what they know and only take direct action when he deems necessary. Plus, I figured that he wouldn't lose to anyone who wasn't Yuya and maybe Leo, so that would limit how much tension they could get from his duels. While that did limit how much dueling he could do prior to getting to Academia, I thought that it still worked well and he still had some good moments in Synchro even before getting to duel Roger like calling out the City Council and having some bonding moments with Reira.

I also really like his friendship with Yuya. It felt like it was based on mutual respect and was pretty believable. While Yuya was understandably upset with Reiji for a good chuck of the Synchro arc, Tsukikage told him that he wouldn't be working with Reiji if he didn't care for his allies. Afterwards, Yuya stared to call Reiji by his first name instead of Akaba Reiji, which I think meant he didn't see Reiji in the same way anymore. I don't think he could have really argued with Tsukikage when the evidence that Reiji was still keeping an eye on the defeated Lancers was right in front of him. At the end of the arc, Yuya stood up for Reiji, knowing that he wasn't the kind of person that Roger was trying to paint him as after revealing his father was the Professor. And when they confronted Leo at Academia, Reiji returned the favor by standing up for Yuya. After seeing Yuya's duels in the Synchro Dimension, he believed in his skills and chose to help Yuya instead of helping his father. It was a pretty nice moment and I think having a less antagonistic rivalry helped to make that development more believable.

I really loved Reiji's reactions to finally meeting with Leo again. Even after he learned the truth about Leo's plans and that Yuya is Zarc's reincarnation, Reiji still stood up for Yuya, called him his friend and tried to help him even with Zarc trying to take over Yuya’s soul. Of course Reiji wouldn't choose to work with his father after all they've went through, but Leo could easily counter Reiji's strategies. Even when his plans didn't go smoothly or there were unexpected problems in the past, Reiji was usually able to keep calm, collected and figure out where to go from there But his calm demeanor was starting to fade here with Leo calling him out for being too honest, straight forward and basically predictable. Reiji spent years planning this confrontation and had more than enough reason to be confident in both his and Yuya's skills, so he was taken aback by Leo calling him out like that. This moment wouldn't have been nearly as impactful as it was if Reiji had struggled against more opponents throughout the series. Reiji is easily one of my favorite characters of the series, as well as one of my favorite rivals in the franchise, and I don't think he gets enough attention from the fanbase.

[weebsinstash]

These werewolf audiobooks are keeping me on my toes because I've listened to enough of them at this point that I'm not sure what to expect, specifically in terms of "is the POV significant"

I've read a lot of stories where only the Female Lead and Male Lead get POVs and the second you hear it's the pov of so and so, you know that person is the love interest. But I've also read stories where the POV switched for narrative storytelling, like showing the "guy who rejected the female protagonist" character have his life go down the tubes over what he did while the FL is off in love with someone new and better, or switching to a villain to let the reader know Something Big is about to happen, or switching to a friend of the protag

In an addictive craving for conflict and drama I picked up another "you rejected me" type of story, this one called True Luna, and I stg, the guy is all "I'm future alpha, and I love love love the female lead, she's so gorgeous and smart and kind and we grew up together and I've ALWAYS had feelings for her AND she turns out to be my mate, but she's PHYSICALLY WEAK and TOO YOUNG (shes 18) and I need a STRONG MATE so even though it breaks my heart to reject her, poor me, im gonna take someone else I don't love as my mate because it's for the good of the pack" and his reasons for rejecting her aren't even really valid and he even acknowledges she could get stronger with hard work, but there have been an increasing number of rogue attacks to the point they even have a 'king' so his reaction is all "and if she gets hurt, they might use her as a weakness against me, she couldn't defend herself either, this is protecting her"

Also you know what really burns me. This story explicitly states the mate bond can NEVER be broken. So like. This motherfucker is basically saying "I won't wait at all for you to try and prove yourself, have fun spending the rest of your life watching me with another woman while we both feel our bond" like I swear to fucking god if the actual real male love interest isn't someone else. She even hears her own fucking brother agreeing with this punk that "she isn't strong enough" and basically agreeing "yeah go ahead and reject her, it IS for the good of the pack". Wow. "Yeah I'm gonna be a motherfucker and put an assumption over the safety of my community over my actual sister"

She even turned down a guy who she WANTED to be her chosen mate who told her he loves her "because I want to wait and see if I find my fated mate" like girl take the time to heal obviously but. He's right there. You now have no obligation to wait, you both already love each other, just take the plunge my god 💀 if the real love interest isn't her friend OR even the Rogue King this story is an automatic drop, im not a fan of "we had a perfect friendship and I betrayed you and didn't communicate with you and now I come crawling back later and you fall in love with me" stories. I'm someone where, you burn me like that, you either get my malice or my apathy

[ridiasfangirlings]

What would be Munakata’s reaction if Saruhiko died? Let’s say he died in line of duty before the skates were destroyed and he maybe was kidnapped and killed by strains. Do you think he would maybe cry (I know it may be a long shot). Could you also maybe to reactions of other specter 4 members like Seri and maybe some Homra members like Yata, Mikoto, Kusanagi, Anna, Totsuka…etc?

If Fushimi died I think Munakata would grieve for him, though I don’t necessarily know if he would cry. I feel like this is the kind of thing where Munakata would see that as the burden he bears himself, that one of his men died in the line of duty and as their King he will carry that memory and that grief on his own. That this is Fushimi would I think make it more painful for him than even Kusuhara just due to Munakata’s feelings about Fushimi (though then again maybe it would be similar, Munakata had interest in Kusuhara as well after all). I kinda imagine at some point afterward Munakata crossing paths with Mikoto and wondering if Mikoto is displeased with him, since Munakata took Fushimi from Homra after all. Mikoto just shrugs and says that was Fushimi’s choice to make, he’s only here to make sure Munakata isn’t taking things hard like an idiot. Munakata dryly thanks Mikoto for his concern but states he is fine and Mikoto just gives him a blunt ‘is that so?’. Munakata doesn’t intend to lose his composure in front of Mikoto but I can imagine them just standing side by side for a while in silence, sharing a cigarette. 

Awashima and the squad I think would also be hit hard, even if this is pre-S1 they’ve still had time to get close to Fushimi. For Hidaka I think this would feel like another Kusuhara to him, even though he never managed to get close to Fushimi the way he wanted it’s still the loss of someone he really did care about. For some of the other squad members it might feel awkward, I could see Fuse for example having mixed feelings because sure he didn’t like Fushimi but he didn’t want Fushimi to die either (and this would probably be even stronger if Fushimi died like completing a mission and if it wasn’t for Fushimi’s sacrifice maybe more members of S4 would have died). Awashima I think would be particularly upset, feeling like as Fushimi’s superior surely she could have done something to protect him. Even if Fushimi was out on a solo mission I could see Awashima second-guessing herself, that could she have made sure he took someone else along or was there some way she could have assisted so this didn’t end in tragedy.

On the Homra end obviously Yata is distraught, especially in an AU where they never reconciled. I think he would absolutely blame Munakata, like shouldn’t the Blue King have protected his men better — and somehow I can imagine a scenario where Awashima is at the bar being consoled by Kusanagi when Yata bursts in yelling about the Blues getting Saruhiko killed and Kusanagi has to shush him, and Yata feels suddenly awkward seeing realizing that the crying woman at the bar was Saruhiko’s superior. And the fact that Yata would never know why Fushimi left or ever get any closure would make this even worse, like now he’s lost Saruhiko forever and he’ll never know why all this happened. 

Kusanagi and Totsuka I see being more quietly sad, I think both of them would be upset but also a little more preoccupied helping others. Like Kusanagi does his best to console Awashima, while I think Totsuka would be focusing on Yata and trying to help him work through his feelings. Anna I think would be very upset as well and I see her sticking close to Yata, like letting Yata console her is really more something she’s doing for his sake than her own. Later that evening in the bar though I imagine Kusanagi pouring a drink for himself, Mikoto and Totsuka, just quietly murmuring ‘So Fushimi died,’ like now these three just have their moment to mourn together, because despite all that’s happened Fushimi was still one of their own. 

[imagineanime2022]

Small Reassurances

Chuya Nakahara X Fem!Reader Osamu Dazai (Platonic) X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1846

Requested: Anon

Request: Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: Death (not the reader), Suicidal thoughts, torture/abuse, manipulation, injury, blood

Dazai POV

Oda was going to do something stupid, you had heard he was going to fight Gide, you wanted to go and stop him or even help him but Mori had ordered that you stay out of it and you did, you waited to here what had happened but instead heard that Dazai had gone to see what happened, that was when you decided to go to. You wanted to believe that Oda had won the fight but the closer you got to the building the more terror set in, until you were standing in the doorway looking at Dazai cradling a dying Oda in his arms.

They both looked over at you when you came in “(Y/N)… Hey kid.” He reached out for you as you got closer falling to your knees next to him. “You both have to stay alive, Dazai there is nothing in this world that will fill the loneliness in your heart so if nothing in the world matters to you then be the better man and you kid you can’t change your past, so focus on right here and now, make the decision you want to make, make sure that everything you do is because you want to do it and protect this idiot his going to need it.” Oda said, it was almost as if he had hung on long enough to say that, his eyes closed as all life left his body. Tears fell down your cheeks as you realised that he had died.

After the funeral no one saw you, Chuya had stopped by a few times and left food for you or came in just to make sure that you were still breathing before pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head and leaving again, he hated seeing you like this but he knew that you were the only one that could get through this was you. You on the other hand were stuck thinking through everything that happened, Oda had been the one to help you deal with your suicidal thoughts helped you work through the guilt caused by your friends sacrifice and you let him die because she didn’t want to disobey Mori, a man you were sure would let you die if it benefitted him in some way. Do it because it’s what you want to do. You remembered what Oda said and in a split second decided that you needed to find Dazai.

Dazai wasn’t hard to find, he never really went anywhere. “What are you doing here?” He asked when he opened his apartment door. “I’ll help you get out of here if that’s what you want.” You said. “Mm, that is what I’m planning.” He nodded as he stepped to the side and allowed you into the house. “Where are you going?” You asked. “I have a plan but first I need to get to the train station outside of the city, at least there they won’t have anyone looking out for us.” Dazai explained and you nodded. “Are you taking anything with you?” You asked. “Just a few things.” He answered. “Then we can take my bike.” You said. “Mmm, you take the bike, I’ll meet you at the station, I have to talk to Chuya before I go…Oh! Can I have one of your bombs?” He asked. “Um sure…” You frowned as you handed over the bomb before carrying the bags he pointed to and heading to the station.

Dazai met you at the train station, he watched you carefully catching sight of the knife in your belt, he knew that you had a plan of your own and it probably involved your death in some way or another so instead crept up behind you slipping the knife from your belt before putting it in his coat pocket. “Come on. Help me carry the bags.” He ordered as he walked towards the bench to wait for the train. “You were going to use painless right?” Dazai asked. “Only if they followed us.” You answered as you hand moved to your belt where you realised that your knife was missing. Dazai knew that there was no way that he could force you to come with him, you were stronger than him and your tolerance for anything was high so there was no may to drug you either. “You could just come with me.” He suggested. “Are you going to make me?” You asked. “You can’t stay here chasing after Mori, he’s never going to see what you're worth.” Dazai explained. “That’s not why I’m staying, I’m staying because I deserve to die, everytime someone tries to help me they end up dead, it’s never going to stop, I deserve to stay here… To suffer here.” You explained. “Your self pity will get you nowhere.” Dazai said, the words spat out of his mouth like poison. “And yet you felt the same way only yesterday.” You glared at him. “You self righteous petulant child.” “You're the one acting like a child.” He argued. “Maybe I am but what I want is to keep you safe! Like I said, the people who try to help me end up dead.” You finally said and you looked at the man and sighed, the train pulling up called you to speak again “go you have a life of light ahead of you, while I stumble around in the dark.” When he didn’t move you pushed him back into the train throwing the bags in after him, you quickly left the train station and rode your bike back to the Port Mafia.

“(Y/N) there you are.” Your heart stopped at the sound of Mori’s voice “come with me I’d like to talk to you.” The moment that you both entered his office you knew that you’d been found out as you had expected. “Where is he?” “Who?” You asked, the slap that rang out around the room should have been unsurprising but the force still caused your head to whip to one side. “Dazai.” He answered. “I don’t know.” You answered and when it all came down to it you weren’t lying but he’d never believe that. “After all I’ve done for you…” He said softly as he walked over to his desk and picked up a scalpel, he walked back over and crouched in front of you. “Where did you take him?” “I didn’t take him anywhere.” You mumbled and you looked away from him, his scalpel cut across your cheek, it wasn’t a deep cut but you were sure that he would lose his temper soon, you had seen it before. “Don’t lie to me.” He said through gritted teeth, when you didn’t say anything his foot connected with your stomach, you coughed as you curled in on yourself “where is he!?” This time his foot came down on your shoulder “All I’ve ever done is keep you safe, and give you a home, and this is how you repay me.” another kick before he stomped down on your chest leaning down “I’ll give you one more chance, I have a mission for you, if you complete it, you’ll be forgiven.” “Fine.” You wheezed as you tried to get oxygen in your lungs despite the pressure and pain there. “Chuya has the information for the mission.” Mori muttered “now get out of my office.” You struggled your way out of the room face to face with Aktagawa. “Where’s Dazai?” He asked as he looked at you. “He’s gone.” You informed him and he looked at you shocked before nodding and walking away, you spat blood on the floor before shuffling out of the building not even bothering to get your wounds checked. You got to the entrance and heard the rain, you waited for a moment hoping that it was going to stop raining “someone set a bomb under Chuya’s car today and Dazai disappeared do you think that’s a coincidence?” Someone asked, you grit your teeth remembering Dazai had asked you for a bomb, you coughed slightly before deciding that you weren’t going to both waiting for the rain to stop and went out to your bike heading to Chuya’s place.

As you pulled up to Chuya’s place you didn’t even think that you were going to talk to him but his door retched open just as you were about to step away, his eyes softened as he realised it was you but hardened again when he realised that you wouldn’t look at him. “I just need mission information.” You said trying to draw his attention away from your behaviour but he didn’t even seem to hear you as he moved to try and look at you properly, he could see that you were soaking wet but on top of that he could see the blood running down your cheek and neck, he pulled you into his apartment as he finally managed to get a look at you in the light, he was glad that the only open wound seemed to be the one on your cheek but he could see that you were in pain just from the way that you were breathing. “I’m fine, I just need the mission information, I’ll clean myself up when I get home.” “You're not going anywhere.” He muttered moving you further into the house, he moved you towards the bathroom “shower, I’ll bring you some clothes to change into.” Chuya disappearing into his bedroom as you started the shower, you didn’t have it in you to fight, you carefully pulled the shirt from your body lifting it over your head with great pain when the top was off you noticed the bruises over your torso one dark one on your stomach and another over your chest, you pressed them gently as you groaned before continuing to get undressed and shower, when you climbed back out of there was clothes set out for you, you dressed yourself and by the time you walked back into the living room, Chuya was waiting for you. “Come here.” You sat next to him and he cleaned up the cut on your cheek before putting a cover over it. “Is that the only one?” “Mhm.” You answered. “The rest are bruises.” You lifted your shirt to prove that you weren’t lying, his eyes narrowed. “What happened to you?” He asked, you explained everything that happened, only leaving out the argument at the train station. “How are you feeling?” Chuya knew that after everything that happened it may have seemed like a stupid question but the moment that you bit down on your lip that you were going to cry. He’d never seen you cry before but that didn’t stop him from pulling you into a hug holding you close, his anger would have been uncontainable if you didn’t need him right then, so instead of looking for Dazai or even going to talk to Mori he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you while whispering small reassurances and promises that he wouldn’t ever leave you.

Request Here!!

[kitkatt0430]

8, 9 and 14 for the salty ask game!!

8.) Have you received anon hate? What about?

Yup. I don't get it often, but it's happened. Mainly over on FFnet, but I've gotten some questionable commentary on Ao3 too.

Usually it's people pissed off that I'm writing queer fiction. Or people pissed off that I'm writing for queer identities that they want to gate keep. So basically people who are being bigoted about queerness.

There was the angry anon on FFnet who kept calling me a fag. Haven't seen him in a while, hope it's because he's learned to be more tolerant and not simply that he's moved on to other targets. I've had a couple of people react very badly to my aromantic headcanon for the Doctor. Because how dare I not believe they weren't romantically in love with Rose or River or Clara or... whoever. One really indignant person who just could not believe anyone would ship Barry and Eddie because they 'hated' each other. (They didn't? It's okay to not like a ship for no real reason and then just... avoid that ship. Don't have to hate on ships you don't understand, mmkay?) Then there was that one person who told me I was being biphobic for having Anya be a lesbian in a fic where Buffy was starting to realize she was bi. I'm quite serious about that last one, it was such a WTF moment.

I've also gotten some hate for treating characters I like in nice and understanding ways. Mostly Iris. And it's been only a few times, but I know it's just a small taste of the larger hate directed at her in the fandom at large.

9.) Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Mark Blaine. The origin of Chillblaine being that of a Captain Cold knock off in the comics was not a good sign and, to be honest, he was not well served on the show either. The writing for Mark and Frost originally felt like a poor attempt to recapture Barry's chemistry with Len, but this time the straight edition and lacking any actual chemistry. Then when he starts his redemption arc, it feels like it comes at the expense of a lot of Frost's screen time and characterization. The focus was no longer on her - it was on her boyfriend. And then when Frost died to save Caitlin - with Caitlin 'dying' shortly afterwards anyway - the focus of all the grief over Frost and Caitlin was mainly on him. Not Frost and Caitlin's friends who'd known them and loved them longer and knew their histories so much better... Mark Blaine. Who was playing replacement goldfish with Khione, when he wasn't pitching an epic fit about not being allowed to kill-replace Khione with Frost.

14.) Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

There's definitely an issue with parts of the fandom when it comes to accepting characters have messy and sometimes bad reactions to their trauma.

Cisco gets this treatment for S3 where he's grieving his brother to the point where some people still hate him for it even now, seasons later after Cisco and Barry both made amends and came out with their friendship stronger than before. Iris gets it for being angry that Barry sacrificing himself at the end of S3 forced her to relive the same trauma she's already suffered from Eddie's death at the end of S1. Frost gets it for being immature and frightened (and suicidal) in S3 and lashing out at people because she'd never learned how to handle her emotions in healthy ways. She gained so much character development and worked hard to make amends for her villainous start, but some people never acknowledge her character development post S3 because she doesn't apologize in the exactly perfect way. Harry was massively traumatized by his daughter's kidnapping when he first arrived in S2, but he grew to love and be highly protective of Team Flash. Yet some people refuse to see past that first time he called Cisco 'Crisco'.

I'm not saying that everyone has to like all the characters. Or their character arcs. But a well rounded character is not going to be perfect. They're going to react badly to circumstances some times. They shouldn't be defined only by their worst impulses, especially if they're shown to grow beyond those impulses. It's okay to dislike a character without having to 'prove' that the character is morally impure first.

Though, to be fair, the purity culture thing is a problem with fandom at large. And I've been fortunate to avoid the worst of it in the Flash fandom.

[lilyhoshikawa]

jack atlas for the character meme

Overall opinion

Jack’s one of the great rivals in Yugioh to be honest, and it’s kind of a shame how ruined he gets in 5D’s season 2, much like… every other character tbh. What immediately stands out to me is how strongly Jack and Yusei’s rivalry defines the early series. Jack and Yusei have similar backstories and life experiences up to the point where they make a critical decision sending them in opposite directions- for Yusei, deciding to sacrifice his life’s work to save an innocent person, and for Jack, abandoning and betraying his friends for a shot at something better. Then we have the moment of adhesion when the two reconnect, the duel that not only shows us the stark contrast of their new personalities (Jack’s braggadocios pride vs Yusei’s quiet and humble nature) and how well they contrast, peaking with a moment where the series’ central mystery- the mark of the Crimson Dragon- ties them together. On top of all of that, we have the meta level of how Stardust and RDA contrast, an effect that protects vs an effect that destroys. Character information through deck choice- Yusei’s flexible synchron strategy vs Jack’s all-or-nothing power OTK deck. I’d even say that Jack and Yusei have a more promising rivalry early on than the iconic Yugi and Kaiba because it’s established that Jack has beaten Yusei on his own terms early on. We get the feeling that they are genuinely close in skill level and any duel between the two could go either way. Then it all just… goes downhill rapidly. Jack vs Yusei round 2 is one of the best duels in all of 5Ds, but after the Dark Signer arc we only ever get Jack as a punchline and Yusei as the savior of mankind so much stronger and more capable than anyone else that it’s a question as to why any of them are still around and they have to make a 3v3 tournament the center of the plot just to keep Jack and Crow relevant.

Jack’s personality is certainly tough to get right- he’s selfish, proud, and arrogant. But one thing he isn’t is dumb. It’s shown to us early on that Jack thinks and duels on a level comparable to Yusei, down to visual indicators, and that his ability to deal with threats is equal- he beats the same amount of Dark Signers as Yusei does. But Jack is selfish, yes, and it takes significant character development via Carly to establish a connection with others, a desire to reconnect with his former friends. Season 2 promptly throws all of that away and makes Jack a power-obsessed idiot that can’t comprehend a solution to a problem that isn’t “hit thing really hard, backrow be damned” and ramps up his selfishness for comedic effect. The problem with this characterization isn’t just that 5Ds season 2 is lighter in tone- that would be neither better or worse on its own, just different- but that they bend the characters to fit that tone. The scene where Jack and Crow sit around wondering why they’re even here when Yusei handles basically everything and is so much more competent than them is insulting because the joke is based on them having become versions of themselves that aren’t accurate to the characters we first saw and loved. Joking about Jack being a jerk or obsessed with victory is fine, because he is. Joking about how Crow is a crime boy who hates cops is also fine, because that’s what he is. Joking about how they’re both dumb and useless is not fine, because that’s a characterization invented out of nowhere.

I think the interpretation of Jack we get in Arc-V does a way better job of extrapolating where Jack would go in a prospective better version of 5Ds season 2. Jack is still proud, sometimes arrogant, and brash, but he’s also a much better person, more devoted to prosperity for the people who look up to him and being a good teacher and role model. He’s angry, prone to outbursts, and as overdramatic about his favorite card as he ever was, but with the heart and genuine care for others to make him someone admirable. It’s a shame Arc-V has so many problems in its second and third seasons, because I honestly think this version of Jack shines in many of his appearances.

Gender / sexuality

This dude is definitely a bisexual if I’ve ever seen one. I tend to think of him as a cis man who doesn’t really care about gender but transmasc Jack Atlas is great too bc it makes his expressions of manliness into something gender-affirming which is cute.

Favorite moment in canon

I still think Jack vs Carly is probably hands down the best duel in 5Ds, establishing how far Jack has come as a person and giving us a look into who Carly is and what she wants. The final confrontation between Majestic RDA and Ascilla Piscu is beautiful.

Favorite moment in a fan work

To be honest I don’t read too many yugioh fan works, they tend to be fairly hit or miss for me, so I’m politely gonna skip this on, especially given how long I rambled upfront.

Favorite line

There’s really nothing that beats hearing “my very soul! Red dragon archfiend!”

Characters I love seeing them interact with

Obviously I’m a big Carly fan, and I often find myself wishing their relationship had continued to evolve post-Dark Signers, so seeing any time their relationship is further explored is great. I also like seeing him as Yusei’s rival when it’s done well, because again, the way their decks and personalities clash make them some of the most entertaining rivals in yugioh to watch fight each other.

Last thing before bed

Given his obsession with his deck, I can only imagine it’s become something of a ritual for him to give his list a once-over before bed, making sure every card feels right and is in its place, especially as I think he probably sleeps late and doesn’t have time to give it any major tune-ups before his scheduled pro duels.

Sleeping headcanons

Obviously the show itself gives us that meme image of Jack’s gigantic empty room but I think he’s actually got a pretty messy sleeping quarters, lots of cards all over his room in various places, various new product that he’s been pouring over and opening. So I tend to imagine he falls asleep right after going through cards, often having weird dreams about new decks and support for his cards that he wakes up thinking are real for a few minutes before he fully wakes up. Just like. Lots of dreams where they unveil a new RDA monster that’s like, a main deck vanilla, and he wakes up confused and baffled. I speak from having many yugioh dream experiences of my own if u can’t tell dbdjfn.

First thing in the morning

Like I said, I think Jack sleeps late. Wakes up for enough time to get ready, with a cup of coffee or three and plenty of time to make sure his looks are in order- he’s definitely very finicky about his appearance- and then he’s off to the track for his scheduled appearances in duels. He probably skips breakfast most days he has matches scheduled to save up his energy for a post-victory feast. That feels like his sort of thing.

Favorite locations

Jack’s absolutely one of those coffee shop dudes. We see him in canon hanging out at that one café somewhat often but I’m willing to bed he’s got a pretty long list of expensive coffee places he likes to hit up from his time as the King, mostly in Neo Domino, and mostly very high-class pricey type joints that Crow and Yusei get mad at him for going to. Probably spends the whole day there spending tons of money on cup after cup while theorycrafting new decks on a laptop or something. That’s one of the few things I’ll accept from season 2- a love for coffee and ramen feels like a great addition to his character, honestly. Where can I get some RDA instant noodles.