#they did do very well up to a point! and then they were like oh this works btw

[wifeyoozi]

mingyu & wonwoo : Still stuffed, one shot, double kill

w.c : 3.1 k ┊ synopsis : boyfriends mingyu and wonwoo give their bestfriend more than you could have bargained for, but you are not complaining┊ content warning : smut , best friends to lovers sorta, bisexual threesome (m/m/f) , oral sex (f + m rec) , edging , hard dom (top) wonu + sub (bottom) gyu + sub reader , slight size kink , (idrk what its called but ig sandwich sex?) , anal (m rec) a/n : note that depiction of mingyu and wonwoo as bisexual is just for the entertainment of this fic and I do not intend to impose any sexuality on them irl. also I was absolutely wasted drunk when I wrote this so I don't even know just nasty threesome.

it was just another video game night with wonwoo and mingyu. it was at your house, like always, because you had a gaming system installed in your bedroom instead of the living room unlike wonwoo and mingyu's shared apartment. and all three of you agreed that the bed was more comfortable to spread out and sit on while gaming.

you yelped from the right side of the bed, having won yet another round (well, technically you came second, but at least you won against mingyu). the screen in front showed the game over slide once again. you sighed and got of the bed to stretch your libs a little.

"i'm getting more beer," you announced seeing all three of your cans empty already, "y'all need anything else?"

"some snacks would be great!" mingyu called out. you took the empty cans to dispose off and left the bedroom.

you, mingyu and wonwoo have been best friends forever. you and mingyu had been childhood friends since you were neighbours. you met wonwoo in highschool and decided immediately to make him part of your little gang. the friendship remained as solid as it could throughout school and college.

wonwoo and mingyu had started dating around last year after pinning over each other for almost 2 years until mingyu asked wonwoo out for a date finally and wonwoo agreed shyly. you knew both boys were in some part of the bisexual spectrum and them dating didn't change a thing in your friendship. you were happy for them and rooted for them all the time, but you'd lie if you were to say you weren't a little jealous. you just wished you had someone to take care of you the way they did of each other. of course, they took care of you almost as well as a boyfriend would, but its been so long since your last relationship that you need more than just care.

meanwhile, mingyu and wonwoo had started making out on your bed in your absence, kissing nastily with wet noises enveloping the room. "mingyu, stop, y/n is gonna come soon," wonwoo whisper yells when he felt mingyu's hand get frisky over his sweatpants.

"i can't help it baby. you're so hot, winning every round like that. you deserve some reward," mingyu argues and wonwoo can't the sound that escapes his throat when mingyu latches his mouth on his neck, "besides, its been so long, i can barely keep away from you."

wonwoo chuckle, "we fucked last night."

"my point, its so long already," mingyu said sucking a hickey on wonwoo's neck. they were too lost in their own world to notice the door opening.

"uhm, guys?" you didn't mean to interrupt them, but you were also not exactly sure what you were supposed to do seeing them make out like animals in heat on your bed. it was hot to see them frisky like that, you had never before seen them get like this, but you had to remind yourself that it was not appropriate to think of your two best friends like that.

"o-oh! y/n! we're so sorry-" wonwoo stumbled to say, pulling away from mingyu and adjusting his glasses back up.

you didn't exactly know how to react. for one, it was difficult to unsee the growing bulges in both boys' pants. it wont be very easy to continue the game again after having that image in your mind. the beer you have had has made you a little horny - its an effect alcohol seems to have on you always - and your hot gay bestfriends weren't making it easier for you.

"whatchu thinking 'bout?" mingyu asks in a more teasing tone, seeing you malfunctioning and just standing in your place like a broken machine, "thinking 'bout joining us?"

mingyu was smacked on his arm by his boyfriend, "gyu! be nicer!"

"what? its not the worst idea," mingyu says, rubbing the spot he'd been hit on, "i remember her mentioning her interest in threesomes last time we got drunk at joey's. besides, i know you find her really hot, you'd love it too, right? i see this as a win-win!"

"i-i never said that!"

"oh but your eyes say it all, baby. i've seen how you check out her ass all the time. i am not complaining, don't worry, i do find her really hot too." mingyu was smacked again.

"boys, boys! what are y'all talking about?" you were dumbfounded. wonwoo checks out your ass!? mingyu finds you hot!? that's some great information to digest. wonwoo and mingyu share glances, as if speaking more than that you can hear with their eyes alone

"say, y/n, i'm horny, nonu is horny, and you could join us if you like, no pressure, but we'd really make it worth your time," mingyu says, looking back at you.

"you don't have to if you don't want to. you could say no and we'd never speak of it again," wonwoo adds.

you think about it seriously. on one hand you were really arounsed and your bestfriends' bulging sizes against their respective pants were sending blood to your crotch and they just offered you for a threesome. then on the other hand, your conscience said it was morally wrong to do this.

fortunately for you and your throbbing pussy, you had just the right amount of alcohol in your system to put your morals aside.

"okay, what the hell," you mumble and jump on the bed between the two, pulling them both by the collar. mingyu giggles as he pins you down and connects his lips to yours instantly. you feel two pairs of hands exploring your body, feeling you up and messing with your clothes. mingyu ravishes your mouth with his tongue, kissing you wet and dirty.

you are surprised when wonwoo pushes aside mingyu's head to take his turn to kiss you. you whine into his mouth, feeling the sudden change. wonwoo can taste mingyu in your mouth still, and the mixed flavours with the taste of your mouth turn him on incredibly. if you thought mingyu was a dirty kisser, wonwoo was worse. his spit was all over the places as he kissed you hungrily and open-mouthedly, and you absolutely loved it.

it must be visible on your face because mingyu chuckled at you, already taking off his clothes, "i should warn you, y/n, wonwoo may look shy and innocent with his nerdy glasses, but he is a complete freak in bed. he is a literal sex monster."

you gasped at mingyu's words. wonwoo took the opportunity to stick his tongue deep down your throat, making you almost choke. then suddenly, it was gone. wonwoo pulled back from you, making you chase his lips, but he pushed you down. he sat up on the bed, taking off his t-shirt, making you whine as he did it all so slowly.

"mingyu, take off her clothes."

mingyu obeyed so. your shirt was pulled off you, your bra taken off at a speed that your think the clasps must've broken, and your shorts yanked off. you felt cold and exposed out in the air, so you tried to approach mingyu to kiss you again, heat your body with his again. but your hair was pulled, making you fall back on the bed with a gasp.

"did i say you could kiss him already?" wonwoo's eyes were dark, and you were scared of him in a hot way which made you want to obey everything he says like a little obedient slut. you were leaking so bad from his strong demeanor, you were sure they both could see the huge dark spot on your panties.

wonwoo leaned by your ears, and whispered softly, "if i make you uncomfortable with my words or action, you can tell me to stop, yeah?"

you nodded, but you didn't plan to. if anything, you wanted him to keep acting meaner to you. you didn't know you would be into being dominated like this until now.

wonwoo snaps at mingyu after that, "open her legs up, kiss her thighs." mingyu does just that, slowly spreading you knees apart and placing buttery wet kisses long your thighs, nearing to your core. you cannot make out if the sound he makes is a laugh or a moan against your soft thighs when he sees how wet you are.

wonwoo snakes his hand down to your breasts, grabbing one in each hand and slowly kneading the flesh. "take her panties off," wonwoo commands mingyu and he does so. "lick her up. she's making a mess, lick all her juices up."

mingyu licks a flat strip along your pussy, his tongue dipping into your folds. wonwoo helps him, reaches a hand to open your outer labia with two fingers, and properly gives mingyu access. mingyu licks a long strip from your slit to your clit and you let out loud whorish moans to let it be known how much you love this.

"squeeze his head with your thighs, he likes that," wonwoo tells you and you comply with him without even thinking. you press your thighs to mingyu's ears, enough to for him to feel the pressure but not so much you'd hurt him. but that's not what wonwoo wants. "more," he he tells you, and you squeeze your thighs tighter around his head until, --

oh. mingyu moaned over your cunt, and you felt the vibrations. wonwoo smirked when he heard it too. he grabbed a hold of mingyu's short hair tightly and pushed his head deeper into your cunt. you understand now. mingyu likes being hurt like this. he likes being controlled by wonwoo. you couldn't hear what wonwoo said next, lost in the thoughts when you suddenly felt a tongue dart into your cunt, earning a choked moan from your lips.

wonwoo leaned down to kiss your nipples, sucking on them and licking them up like a hungry cat. your hands reached over his head, lacing your fingers through his soft hair. you were close already and both the boys could sense it from the way your moans got more erratic and your thighs trembled.

you were just about to reach your high when wonwoo grabbed mingyu's head and pushed him away from your cunt. a cry left your lips, your cunt spasming and clenching around nothing with all sensations gone. you felt tears filling up your eyes as wonwoo leaned down and kissed your lips.

"there, there. it wasn't that bad now, was it? i know a pretty girl like you can take better," wonwoo's words were comforting, as his hands rubbed circles on the side of your hips, but his tone was awfully teasing and it just made you want to cry harder.

wonwoo instructed mingyu to sit up on the bed against the headboard and got you on all fours in front of him so your face was to mingyu and ass to wonwoo who was preparing his dick behind you. mingyu's dick was red and hard against his belly, but he wouldn't dare touch it without wonwoo's instructions. mingyu and wonwoo were a little similar in sizes, you noticed (and it made your mouth salivate), except mingyu was thicker than wonwoo and the latter was longer.

it was more so of a punishment for you too, to just watch his painfully erect dick and not put it in your mouth. hell, you couldn't even kiss his pretty pink pouty lips until wonwoo said you could. you had only spent twenty minutes with wonwoo and mingyu in bed, but you already knew the rules of this game. you knew wonwoo was in charge of everything and you should obey everything he says, otherwise the consequences could be harsh. and that turned you on incredibly.

wonwoo played with his dick, sliding along the length of your slit, teasing you. "wonu, please," you whimpered needily.

"hm? did you say something?" wonwoo said in a fake tone, landing a smack on your ass, only to rub the spot soothingly soon after, "its difficult to hear with this beautiful pussy in front of my eyes."

you whined again, tears falling down your cheeks. mingyu was smirking at you, as if he was in any better position than you with his throbing untouched dick.

"daddy, please, fuck me," you whimpered at wonwoo.

the latter chuckled, slowly pushing his head into your cunt, already prepped and stretched by mingyu's tongue before. "shit, you're so fucking needy. just a needy little slut, arent you? don't worry, i'll fill your pussy up."

he set a high speed for you. you gasp and almost fall face-flat on the bed, only to be held up by mingyu. mingyu's other hand clutched the sheets, trying his best not to lose control. he liked being a good boy for wonwoo. the rough punishment-fuck was good, yes, but he loved the way wonwoo praised him and rewarded him better. besides, he had to be a good role model for you.

wonwoo could see the desperation on his boyfriend's face, and chuckled, deciding he deserved a treat. "mingyu has been a really good boy, don't you think, y/n? why don't you blow his dick, hm?"

wonwoo pushed your head down till your mouth was on mingyu's dick. you licked a long strip lengthwise on his erection, testing and teasing. mingyu let out a guttarial moan and you took his dick inside your mouth as far as it could go. wonwoo wasn't satisfied with your mediocre efforts, and pushed your head till you swallowed all of mingyu.

you forced your gag reflexes to relax as mingyu's head hit the back of your throat. with wonwoo's relentless speed, your head bobbed over mingyu's dick from inertia alone, not having to do a lot of work. mingyu's thighs started convulsing soon and both of you were near to your edge already. you thought if you don't let it show you were close, wonwoo wouldn't notice until you're actually cumming and he wouldn't be able to edge you a second time.

it was risky, but you really wanted to cum already.

unfortunately for you, mingyu was too obedient to his boyfriend to cum down your throat without asking first.

"wonu, i'm close," he whined, making wonwoo pull your head off mingyu by your hair, making you whine loudly. you whined even louder when wonwoo exited you without giving you the release you needed.

"you are really noisy, y'know that?" wonwoo tells you teasingly. "good for you, i love hearing your sweet voice. stay in your position. mingyu come back here."

mingyu stands up on weak legs and kneels on the edge of the bed in front of your ass, his dick the perfect height to your entrance. wonwoo took a hold of his lover's dick and slowly pushed it in you again. you gasped at the unexpected intrusion. "hold her hips, baby, or she'll fall. she's so weak, you gotta help her. now, don't move yet, be patient."

mingyu stays still, painfully deep inside you. you loved the stretch from his dick. you could almost feel his tip brush against your sweet spot - if only he'd move a little and hit it with force.

you heard a whimper from mingyu, making you look back over your shoulder. your eyes widened, seeing wonwoo fingering mingyu from the back, two fingers deep already, preparing him. you realised what was about to come instantly. you turned your back and waited in anticipation, knowing that the best blow will come with the surprise of it.

you couldn't be more right because as soon as wonwoo's hips snapped against mingyu's, mingyu's snapped against yours, going balls deep. the feeling was extreme, one of a kind, and thrilly. mingyu's dick hit every right spot at every hit, making you reach cloud nine with the feeling. if not for mingyu's hands supporting your hips, you would have fallen down already with how weak your limbs felt.

the room sounded really filthy with the rhythmic double slapping of skins mixed with your moans, mingyu's whimpers and wonwoo's groans. but certainly mingyu was having the best time among you three, with his prostrate being abused by his boyfriend's dick on one end and having his dick swallowed by his best friend's pussy on the other. his eyes were rolling back and his throat ached with the loud noises it created. he was close a second time and he let his boyfriend know of it.

"cum on her pretty ass," wonwoo said, marking his sentence with a loud smack of his hand on mingyu's ass, making the latter cry. just as instructed, mingyu exited you before cumming ropes of white semen in your ass. "such a good puppy. now help her cum too. use your fingers on her clit."

mingyu's fingers found their way to your sensitive clit, rubbing in circular motions. you barely took any time before you were squirting, wetting the bed under you with a cry. you let your body fall on the bed and turn on your back so you could embrace mingyu, who fell right on top of you. wonwoo had slowed his speed a little to let his lover come down from his high at a relaxed pace without overstimulating him.

you kissed mingyu and mingyu kissed you, both finding comfort in the wet warmth of the other's mouth. the sight was oddly a turn-on for wonwoo, who soon came deep inside mingyu's ass, giving him a creampie as he exited. mingyu rolled over on the bed beside you, eyes closed shut from the tiredness.

you vaguely saw wonwoo get up and leave to the bathroom before your own eyes fell shut. you were sleepy already, it's probably past your usual bedtime. you barely registered being wiped clean with a warm and wet towel before being dressed in your pajama shorts and a loose tshirt. when your eyes opened wonwoo was doing the same to mingyu, kissing him on the top of his head after.

mingyu rolled to his side and snuggled against you sleepily, making you giggle softly while wonwoo got himself a pair of grey shorts to put on. wonwoo pouted and mumbled something under his breath before he snuggled on your other side. both the boys practically sandwiched you, with your back to wonwoo and front to mingyu.

you saw as the boyfriends shared a goodnight kiss, the sweetness dripping, making you smile for them. then mingyu looked at you with pouted lips, and you muttered a me too? before he pressed a kiss to your lips. you giggled as wonwoo picked your cheek as goodnight too.

"so, uhm, is this a thing now? we ... three?"

"it could be, if you like."

"i think i'd like it, it be great."

"this is so perfect, my cute little boyfriend and my cute little girlfriend." mingyu chuckled.

"i'm not little!" you and wonwoo whined simultaneously.

[luvvixu]

mind over matter

synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.

tags: arrange marriage au, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, miscarriage, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: y'all, im back after ghosting this page for way too lonh cuz im on my process of taking psychology. yep! this random bitch is up for being a psychologist despite her mental health place amidst the fluctuating status. and you know what's crazy? my sanity is slowly decomposing! all thanks to that one mf and one chapter in which im not going to name about (gege and jjk chapter 261)

it all started when he started caring for you.

after being inside an arranged marriage for like five years, satoru was confident with himself that he doesn't need a wife to console his woes as he is perfectly capable all by himself.

to say the least, the start of your marriage was a definition of an absolute disaster. clearly, you and satoru were like a magnet in the same pole, it can never collide despite how many efforts you push on both magnets.

from fights, misunderstanding, up to almost divorce after you caught him kissing another girl when you decided to give him a visit during his mission.

you were hurt, yes. but you would always tell yourself that neither of you want this marriage, so being hurt when there's no even love is called invalid. yet, you can't still help it but to feel somewhat jealous because he was supposed to be your husband—but oh well.

your family begged you to stay as it was for the peace of mind and safety of your clan. you snorted sarcastically as you wondered if they ever cared for your personal peace of mind and safety also.

nevertheless, you still stay inside this loveless marriage and maintain the gojo surname. you forgive him even though he's not explaining himself nor asking for your forgiveness.

as for satoru, he's aware that he's being a dick to you. his reason is that this marriage was his least priority as it was a hindrance for him. so basically and truth may hurt, he thinks you're only a hindrance and a distraction from the higher ups.

there were times where he would bury himself with work so he doesn't have to go to his original home and breathe the same air as you.

there were also times where he spent almost two months without seeing you or even communicating with you. it was like you didn't exist in his life nor he doesn't have a wife!

although, he is not that cruel to the point that he would slam the fact in your face. no, he's just leaving his presence until you feel it yourself that he doesn't want you.

his shenanigans would continue for almost a year until that night occurred.

that night when it was your wedding anniversary and he came home very late after fighting some annoying curse. he took a swearing underneath his breath when the stinky smell of curse blood hit his nose.

scrunching up as he was about to proceed to his own room (despite being married, you two sleep in a separate room) to clean up when he saw you up by the garden. you are currently watching how your little seedlings grow into beautiful flowers swaying along the air with a calm look on your face.

your husband broke the silence by asking you what are you doing this late. in which you replied that you couldn't sleep as you slowly looked at him.

satoru watched your face, it did not even flinch with any kind of emotion—nothing, just nothing. you're basically acting like a robot to him, and he hates it.

"i'll prepare a warm bath for you." you mumbled, standing on your feet and was about to leave when he grabbed your arm.

"i heard what happened earlier." satoru said slowly, as if he's being careful on his words which was very out of character for him.

"really? great." detaching from his hold, you left him no chance and instantly left.

"y/n." the man followed you until both of you reached the bathroom. you paid him no attention and just did the usual things you do, prepare him a bath.

"talk to me, please." his tone becomes soft, pleading. turning the water on, you refused to turn around, you refused to make physical contact with him, you refused to let him see the tears brimming in your eyes.

"go on. say what you want to say. i'm listening." you mentally curse yourself for almost stuttering. satoru looked at you, eyes finally unveiling an emotion. he aches to hold you for some reason but to think that he doesn't want to upset you even further, he stops. all he can do is watch you serve him.

"do you want to keep it?" he asked quietly, his ocean blue eyes dropping on your stomach. getting uncomfortable, you tried to hide it.

splash, splash, splash, you did not answer him.

"i said, do you want to keep it?" satoru asked once again. this time, his voice was a bit louder than before.

"i don't know. do you want to?" you asked him back the question, quietly.

your husband went quiet. having a child is not part of your plan but you have to because that's your purpose of marrying him, to bear an heir. now, satoru was asking you nicely if you want to keep it when in the first place, it should happen this way.

"how many months?"

"two."

"and you didn't tell me?"

"do you want to know?"

"of course i want to know. that's literally my child in there." he pointed to your belly with a slight frustration on his face.

you did not say anything back, just continuing your duties as his wife—wife on papers. satoru was growing upset, tired, even angry at you. where was the talkative and fierce look that you have? where's the harshness in your voice? why do you look so vulnerable now?

"you can take a bath now. i'll be downstairs to prepare you dinner."

"y/n, wait—"

*slam*

before satoru could even stop you, you already left, leaving him in all silence. the husband heaves a deep sigh within him as he recollects the events prior to this day. he remembers how he acted when he discovered to ijichi that you went to the hospital and went back home with a pregnancy result in your pocket.

satoru remembers almost getting killed by the special curse when the news caught him totally off guard. you two only have intercourse when both are drunk after coming home from shoko's birthday and that's it. you also told him that you were on pills so he's relieved. but how?

what if—

no, no, no. you wouldn't. you wouldn't do that to him. you are his little loyal wife and even though both of you aren't on good terms, he trusted your loyalty…or was he? were you?

everything was so messed up that he couldn't think of anything even after taking a shower and now he's on his way downstairs to eat dinner. once he was in the kitchen, he saw you almost absentmindedly cutting the vegetables.

satoru took a seat, quietly. he was watching you as your back was facing him. his six eyes weren't dumb to notice how much weight you are slowly losing. unconsciously, satoru was clutching his fists tightly.

"i bought you your favorite milk tea. it's in the fridge, you can drink it later." your voice seemingly dropped him from his daze. satoru looked at you once more, only to find out that you're still not facing him back.

"o…okay, thanks."

minutes later, you place a plate of curry in front of him. satoru noticed that there's only one plate on the table, which was his.

"where's your meal?"

"i already ate." oh right, it was literally midnight now. you should be asleep by now, yet here you are, serving your husband. also, why does it seem like satoru was hoping to eat dinner with you? it is unusual, to be honest.

for your five years of marriage, you two would only eat together for formal matters. but with a simple domestic setting like this, there's no way a peace would occur if the two of you shared a table and a meal.

while he is eating, satoru watches you grab the said milk tea from the fridge and place it in front of him. "just leave the dishes on the sink. i'll wash them later." and with that, you left the dining room.

the food was great, it was very delicious. satoru can't deny that you're great at cooking, and you really have a specialty when it comes to curry like this. but why does this meal taste bitter? perhaps, was it because of the taste of his conscience? he doesn't know.

the six eyes ate in silence. he was planning to talk to you later about everything. but anyway, satoru has been eyeing the milk tea you bought for him. now this wasn't unusual. everytime you would go out, you would always buy him some of his favorites, mostly food.

like there's a time where you bought him his favorite mochi, crepe cakes, churros, ice creams—basically every dessert or food stalls you happened to pass by. it warms his heart, though. there's also a time where he anticipated what kind of sweet delicacy you would give him next.

anyway, satoru finished eating his meal. he was drinking the milk tea you gave to him while searching for you. he saw you sitting on the same spot when he first saw you this evening, by the patio of your garden. silently, satoru took a seat beside you with a mindful distance between you two.

"can we talk?" he started. in which you reply with a soft hum. satoru finds himself gulping, he sets aside his drink first before mimicking your posture—wrapping his arms on his folded legs.

"so um, since there's a baby now…i'd like to discuss this matter with you, properly. i was thinking about…moving you in one of the jujustu high's dorms." satoru nibbles the straw of the sugary drink, absentmindedly.

"it's for safety measures, since i'm not always at home and the risk will be doubled by now. but if you're inside the campus, a lot of sorcerers would be able to protect you." he added.

"okay." you did not even question him or even argue with him, you just simply agree without a second thought.

the man could feel himself gulping, the bitterness increasing despite the sweet liquid he was drinking. he's starting to get uncomfortable the way you are currently acting.

also, come to think of it, you agreed to temporarily live in jujustu high—does that mean you are keeping the baby? satoru couldn't help but to finally ask you.

"d…does that mean—"

"the baby has nothing to do with us. i'm not that cruel to take its life." before satoru could beat you, you already beat him.

"when will i be moving out?"

satoru gulped the growing rare anxiousness down to his throat. "probably next week. give me some time to deliver this news to the higher ups." you just mumbled an okay as your response.

"y/n, are you really sure about this?" the man couldn't really pinpoint your decision. although you made it explicit, he still couldn't comprehend you.

"i'm okay with anything. it's just you who didn't. also, if you are planning to ask me about keeping the child once again, go ask yourself instead. your decision is my decision." you replied.

satoru made a mental note that your voice sounds more tired than before. it kinda ignited something that he was not used to feeling before as literally a man-god himself who's full of pride.

"i'll be resting now. have a good night." he did not stop you, in fact, he thinks it's for the better. satoru could only follow you by his gaze as you enter your own room.

yes, your own room. the two of you did not share the same room. you two couldn't even bear to eat together, what more on sleeping together. this is not what satoru meant when he asked you to talk. but oh well, guess he should also call this a night. with that, satoru retreated to his own room and slept.

fast forward, you moved to jujutsu high and started teaching as a history teacher in a world full of related curses(suggested by satoru) since you're an alumni at this school like your husband. you like that idea too since it's a great way to distract yourself from everything.

currently, you are watching your third year students train themselves along with the second years and the first years. it was quite a good sight since all of them have a nice and strong potential as a sorcerer.

suddenly, one of your husband's students came to you with a big smile on his face. that must be yuuji, the vessel for the infamous king of curses. you always adored him, he's a good kid. but you couldn't help but to be saddened by the fact that he was literally carrying a big burden over his life.

"y/n sensei, good afternoon!" he waved at you before taking a seat nearby you. behind him, you saw his two other friends—your husband's students too.

"oi, you're being too loud." megumi scolded his friend. he was worried that yuuji's loudness was too much for your situation, your pregnancy.

"it's fine, megumi." you just chuckled. "i have some extra chocolate bars here, you three can have it." the trio thanked you happily, while you just smiled in return.

"by the way, we have a question for you, y/n sensei." yuuji said, munching on the chocolate. you asked him to shoot the question but he suddenly hesitated, looking at his two friends for support.

when he received the support he needed, he took a deep breath. "y/n sensei, we were wondering about your husband a-and…" yuuji trailed off. you already know what he meant, so you didn't wait for him any further.

"oh, i suppose you are curious because you haven't seen my husband even though i technically lived here?" the smile still lingers on your face as you watch them nod their heads.

there's something that you forgot to mention to them, they don't know that their teacher is your husband and the father of your child. you were prepared for a situation like this, though.

megumi on the other hand, could've known this beforehand since satoru took care of him during his childhood. then your marriage came through and your husband was already taking care of megumi, but it was kept a secret to everyone—including him.

stroking your six months belly, a recent hobby of yours when you want to seek some comfort. "he was a busy man. most of his job requires being out of town. but he never fails to shower me with love by making sure that we still communicate despite his busy schedule."

"lately, we've barely talked. yet, he promised me that he will finish all of his jobs and tasks before going home to me. probably that's when our child is about to be born." you sigh just to justify this facade.

the students seem to believe your story. although you're quite worried that they might tell this to gojo and your cover will be blown. you planned to talk about this to him, anyway.

"that must've been hard, y/n sensei." nobara mumbles out of sympathy. she was worried for you and your child due to the absence of your husband.

if only they knew that your experience was much harder.

"you could always come to us, y/n sensei. we will not hesitate to help you and your child." beaming brightly as the other two agreed, you really adore yuuji. the amount of softness he gave to you is something that your future child would like to possess.

"thank you, you three. now, you all better go back to training. i will be heading to shoko since i promised to visit her." watching as the three wave their good-byes to you, you couldn't help but to feel an urge to protect them at all cost. probably due to your maternal instinct but whatever, you just hoped they would stay safe.

another fast forward, you are on your way towards shoko's office to spend your free time. knocking softly on her wooden door, shoko opens the door with a smile on her face.

"how's my little mama doing?" she engulfed you with a hug, which you returned warmly.

"good. the morning sickness did not attack me today, thank goodness." you said as you took a seat on her sofa.

shoko also commented that she was happy too. as mentioned before, stroking your six month old baby bump is a must on a daily basis. you are now used with a thought and feeling of a growing child inside you.

"and how're you and dickhead gojo?" shoko changes the topic.

"we were just fine like i have said before."

your friend heave the deepest sigh you've ever known. "just fine? y/n, do you want me to say the like i have said before too?"

"sho, ever since we knew that we're having a baby, we really tried our best to be compatible with each other. but we just couldn't." it's true, on the exact tomorrow of that eventful night wherein gojo discovers your pregnancy, he tried to make it up to you by lessening the sparkling arguments, making sure you are well feeded, and even showering you with things your eyes would have landed on.

you are delighted, of course. even though he absolutely fails his duty as your husband, at least he's trying his best to be a good father for your child. you appreciate him for that and also start to open your heart and pour a little more trust to him.

however, you are not dumb to notice the faint smell of a female's perfume and lipstick stain on his neck whenever he's with you. your heart slowly closes once again and your little more trust shatters.

once you saw yourself crying silently—feeling betrayed and angry for yourself on trusting him shortly after that. guess old habits never die, you are crying about something you've already expected. self-blaming is an understatement for letting your guard absolutely down.

gojo's still a jerk even though you had his baby. i should've expected this. having a baby doesn't mean he's going to change for me.

"we both tried, sho—we both tried. but we just couldn't." your voice dropped its tone once more. you still felt bitter even if it happened way back like two months ago.

"or he just couldn't." she snorted sarcastically.

you both knew she's right, gojo just couldn't. for years of being married, you unfortunately learned how to love a man like him who doesn't even give a one shit about you. tragic. very fucking tragic. if only you could see yourself directly, you would laugh at her nonstop.

"maybe this marriage is meant to be loveless—"

*slam!*

"yo shoko, i need—oh…" the door suddenly bursts open as it reveals your hot issue for today and probably for the rest, your husband gojo. you could tell that he was also surprised (but he shouldn't be) to see you here in shoko's infirmary.

"learn to fucking knock, gojo." shoko hissed at the white haired male.

"oh sorry. am i interrupting something?" he asked, looking at everything but you. he refused to spare you even a small glance, which you kinda do the same.

"you're not. now what do you need?" shoko was the one who answered him.

before gojo could even open his mouth , you already excused yourself. "i'll be taking my leave now. thanks for the check up, shoko." and then you left, leaving shoko and gojo with an awkward silence.

"aren't you going to talk about your business or maybe you want me to kick you out?" shoko sarcastically made a comment.

"right…" satoru cleared up his throat. for some reason, he doesn't know why he's suddenly getting iffy.

"ho…how's the child doing?"

"you have to be fucking kidding me." shoko groaned loudly. somehow, she expected this, but she couldn't believe that she would actually encounter this.

"y/n was just right there moments ago and you didn't even bother to ask her that yourself?!" the doctor could feel herself getting really annoyed. the truth may hurt but she's getting annoyed by the two of you.

fight here, ignore there—ignore there, fight here.

"bet she told you that we're not on good terms even though we really tried to work it out. yet, you're seemingly acting clueless." satoru snorted sarcastically. he's not dumb that you're telling stories to your friend, shoko.

the doctor rolled her eyes. she was this close from smashing his old friend's face to the wall to wake him up and stop being an idiot. "every fucking time, gojo. but that should not be an excuse to not talk to her. you two are still married for god's sake, and now, there's even a child along the way. i can see how much effort y/n has put in your marriage, you must do the same."

"don't you dare to compare her efforts to mine, you know nothing." he growls.

"but i sure know how shitty you are."

something inside satoru snaps. "why are you being angry at me?! you've been like this since we got married. always defending y/n, but what about me?! i have been your friend since highschool and you just met that girl! wouldn't it be unfair to side with someone whom you just met?!"

"you're asking me that when you have six eyes and yet, you can't see how much she suffers from you?!”

“but what about me? am i not suffering too?!”

how did we get here? things are getting pretty out of hand. two friends getting fired up because of a marriage that was about to fall apart. one being inside the marriage while the other one has the eye inside the marriage.

both shoko and gojo have their own sides but it all leads back to one thing, you are involved.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage. everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“just want, what? end your marriage by divorcing her?”

the moment the last syllables escaped her lips, she already knew the answer.

“fucking gojo.” shoko mumbles under her breath. “if you want to fix your life, you better not act dumb.”

satoru was still caught silent. his wide eyes trailed on the floor and unable to move. shoko saw how she hit the point. sighing over herself, she motioned the door. “get out, gojo. if you're gonna rethink your life choices, do it in your home with your wife.”

and with that, without a word, satoru left her clinic feeling heavy and defeated.

along the hallway, he saw you. satoru saw you looking at him with horror in your eyes—for the first time in one month, you finally looked him in the eyes, but it's filled with fear and tears.

“y/n, i—” just like what he had done before he left shoko's clinic, you left without saying a word.

satoru felt everything become hazy, his knees were trembling, his six eyes were stinging, his lips were turning white on how hard he bites them. the man shuddered in disappointment, you must have heard everything.

his feet act on their own and chases you, holding you by the wrist. but it was torn away immediately after you forcefully snatched it back. while doing so, satoru didn't fail to notice the hot tears streaming on your pale face, in which you immediately wiped it out.

“y/n, i-it’s not what you think. i…” as much as satoru would like you to hear himself, he hasn't gotten the words. he was left stuck by his own thoughts and self-doubt that he puts himself into shame.

meanwhile, you thought you could've just walked away from the scene. but from the moment you hear shoko and satoru exchange heated words, it gets you glued to the floor and unable to move. despite her clinic being semi-soundproof, you hear everything. even if you're not there in the room physically, you seemingly know everything.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

“y/n,” satoru called your name. his tone was very far from you used to. you grow accustomed to him saying your name venomously, but now it seems like he's saying your name delicately and vulnerable…and satoru hates being vulnerable.

“i know what you're thinking. i accidentally eavesdropped but i didn't t hear everything.” you internally praise yourself for being a great actress. you thank yourself for not stuttering and not sounding so dejected.

but you lied. you're a terrible liar. you heard everything. you heard every single thing that escaped his lips during his argument inside your friend's office. and you feel like dying, his words hurt you so much more than any deadly curses.

“have you eaten already? do you want me to prepare you for a bath?” satoru couldn't understand why the heck you still care for your wife duties when your husband, him, just broke your heart not so long ago?

you're acting absolutely strange in his eyes and he hates it. he hates how you would just bury or bottle your emotions. you're creating a facade and a labyrinth where you keep it by yourself.

“y/n, it's not time for anything. let's just talk please.” you hate it how he sounds like he's begging, but satoru never begs.

“let’s go to my room. let's talk this out—”

“gojo sensei! yaga sensei was looking for y—oh…” yuuji trailed his tracks when he saw you and satoru together.

“dummy! why do you just yell like that?!” megumi bonked his friend's head for interrupting your talk.

wearing your mask again, you smiled at the duo then brushed yourself away from the scene. satoru couldn't stop you any further, you're already away from him.

either way, satoru does the same, he wore his mask just like you. smiling at his students, he let them navigate the way towards yaga and deal with all of his shits so he would have time and talk to you properly this time.

meanwhile, yuuji and megumi were dismissed after they had done their task. nudging his black haired friend, yuuji pointed out things earlier.

“hey, fushiguro. is it just me or did i just see y/n sensei…crying?” he questioned. megumi remained silent because even saw that you were crying—they’re also not dumb to notice the burst energy somewhere inside your body.

“whether she is or not, it's none of our business.” megumi replied.

“i know. but i couldn't help but to feel really worried about her. you know crying can be bad, especially when you're pregnant, that could stress her out.” yuuji surprisingly knows how pregnancy somehow works. but they both know he's right again. they're worried about you and your baby, so they both take a mental note to visit you later.

as you slam the door behind you, a silent sob escapes your lips as you slide your back behind the wooden frame. along with the sound of your cries, was also the sound of your heart breaking.

for some reason, the facade you just put up there early makes you suffocate. it burns your eyes and it makes you shudder in pain. the hyperventilating noise escapes from your lips while you clutch the handful of fabrics of your blouse.

“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”

“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”

god, that feeling burns! his words keep on burning in your head, engraving the letters piece by piece. those words are not too cruel, it's a little far from what you had heard before. but it came out directly from your husband's mouth, the father of your baby.

maybe, you think you acted this way because of your hormones. but nonetheless, he's like blaming you for all of his misfortunes and that made you recall your past arguments with him before.

it was like a collection of puzzles coming up together, picturing a clear image; you were just a distraction, he wanted nothing to do with you, you were just a burden, he wanted to dissolve this marriage, you would never be his, he wanted to be free from you.

you put your hand on your baby bump, stroking it ever so gently. you swore to yourself that you would never let anyone harm your baby, you would never let this marriage harm your baby, you would never let satoru harm your baby, you never let yourself harm your baby. that's for sure.

because as the clock ticks, time passes. and as the time passes, more tears flow to your cheeks along with blood on your legs.

[part 2 coming soon — ©luvvixu2024]

[xoxochb]

˗ˋ where’s the trophy? he just comes running over to me ˊ˗

warnings: literally none, this is tooth-rotting fluff

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of demeter

summary: the three times luke knew he was in love with you and the one time he told you

1. your beautiful eyes stare right into my eyes

trying to pretend your best friend (aka your crush) wasn’t staring at you was almost impossible. it was even more difficult when he was sitting directly next to you, and you couldn’t help the pink hue making its way to your cheeks

you thought he wouldn’t notice because the sun had set and the only lights were the moon and the fire in front of you

but he did.

“what’re you thinking about?” luke asks, nudging your shoulder with his own

“nothing, just watching the stars” you quickly pull you gaze down from the sky to the boy beside you

“are you in love with them?” he teases

“shut up” you laugh

“well why are you blushing? do you have a crush?” he pokes your cheeks, but you slap his hand away

“I’m not blushing, it’s just hot” you make up an excuse

“it’s cold outside” he stated

“I have a sweatshirt on, einstein” you roll your eyes

“then why are you still wearing it?” he inquired, giving you a confused look

“It smells like you, I like it” you bite your bottom lip

and know it’s lukes turn to blush

“are you in love?” you joked

but he knew the answer to it. the real answer, he was in love, so so deep, and he wanted to tell you since the first day your gaze met his but he didn’t want to risk a perfect friendship, so he stayed silent, hoping one day you would realize how much he truly loved you

“possibly”

2. so make the friendship bracelets

you had spent the past hour trying to make this bracelet perfect. you wanted to make it for luke for no specific reason, at first you were doing it because you were bored, but as more time passed you thought you should make it for someone else

and who’s better to make it for than your best friend?

“hey flower, what’re you up to? I haven’t seen you all day”

speaking of

he takes a seat beside you on the grass

“I’ve been busy” you say, not taking your eyes off the bracelet as you finish tying it up

“did you eat today? you weren’t at breakfast” he questions

“no, skipped. wanted to make a bracelet,” you take his arm and slid the bracelet around his wrist, “for you”

you look up at him only to find him already looking at you with the most lovestruck expression ever, and you blush madly at this

“It’s beautiful” he whispers, not once looking down at the bracelet

and oh gods you could have passed out right there

and as for luke, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, no matter how hard he tried (which wasn’t very hard, he wishes he could stare at you for the rest of eternity) his eyes were permanently glued to yours

3. I’m sinking, our fingers entwined

counselor duties had been called off for the day and you thanked the gods for that, these kids are absolutely exhausting

you walk over to the nearest tree and lean against it for a moment, taking a moment to breath

“hey stranger”

oh that voice

“hi luke” you beam

“what’re you doing here? you don’t want the harpies to get you, do you?” he teases

“you’re out here too” you point out

he shrugs, “c’mon I’ll walk you back to your cabin”

he holds out his hand for you and you take it without hesitation.

It’s so warm is the first thing you think. it’s comforting, and you wish his hand could always be intertwined with yours

and of course, luke thinks the same. he could die happy if his last moments were spent holding your hand.

the walk back to your cabin was silent, but not awkward, you both enjoyed just being in each other’s presences, even if that mean you weren’t talking

this was enough

“here we are” he remarked

“yep… I’ll see you in the morning?” you ask

“always” luke smiles and gives you that same lovesick expression he always does

and you can’t fight the large grin making its way to your face, “goodnight luke” you whisper

“goodnight flower”

and he doesn’t untangle his fingers from yours until he’s to far from you to touch them

4. the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me

you weren’t the biggest fan of capture the flag, but you knew it always made luke happy when you did

so you played

the majority of the game you sat and watched, looking out for anyone on the opposing team until you heard horns, signaling that the game was over

you quickly sit up, running to wear you hear cheers, hoping it’s from your team

and it is.

you reach the crowd, eyes meeting the chocolate brown ones you loved

you reach luke, swiftly throwing your arms around his neck, and he wastes no time in dropping the flag, putting his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer

“I’m proud of you” you say pulling away, arms still around each other

luke is wishes he knew where this confidence came from, but seeing you so close to him, a large smile on your face, and the save lovesick expression he always gives you in your eyes this time, he can’t wait any longer

“I’m in love with you” he blurts out

your eyes widen at those words, and you stay like that for a moment, but you knew this, didn’t you? you always saw it in his eyes

and you pull him in for a sweet, long-awaited kiss

it was as perfect as you imagined, the kiss, the boy, the moment, everything

[kamaluhkhan]

hi there! i have a request for loser!luke where reader shows him where to put his hands on her and he's really eager to learn x

i completely understand if you don't write this since i'm sure there are many more requests, also could i be anon please!!

pairing: luke castellan x aphrodite!reader (afab) a/n: sorry this took forever but please enjoy !!  also - this request came in before i started participating in fics for gaza; please click here to find out more about this initiative and how to participate/contribute word count: 795

MDNI !

“ugh, i told drew to clean up her shit,” you scoff, tossing away your half-sister’s used makeup wipes. “looks like the athena cabin is winning this time. 8.5/10?” 

you look at luke for his input, but it’s no use. all luke has been good for this afternoon is whining, instead of helping you with this round of cabin inspections. 

“katie loves roses.” luke stops to smell the bouquet that one of your siblings had next to their bunk. 

“everyone loves roses,” you reply as you scribble down a score on your clipboard. 

“but roses were her favorite.” luke pouts. he drops down onto your perfectly made bed, rumpling the sheets underneath him. “i hear what everyone is saying around camp, you know: about how katie gardener realized she was too good for me so she finally dumped me.” 

you bite back a wince. you might have contributed to the gossip surrounding their breakup.

you sigh and take a seat next to luke, deciding it’s time to try and make him feel better. 

“okay, castellan — enough moping. tell me what happened.”

“no.”

“luke. stop being a baby, i’m here to help.”

“it’s embarrassing.”

“well, you’re kinda embarrassing yourself already, with the whole love sick puppy act,” you point out, poking his thigh. luke swats your hand away. 

“it’s really embarrassing, though.”

“oh, please; i’ve heard it all. you’d be surprised how many people confess to the head counselor of the aphrodite cabin; i mean, i am my mother’s favorite, but still —”

“katie broke up with me because i couldn’t get her off,” luke suddenly blurts. 

there’s a moment of silence, and then you can’t help it — you burst out laughing. 

“hey!” luke exclaims. “you said you were here to help. i knew it was embarrassing!” 

“sorry, sorry.” you swallow your smile. “it’s just — did you not realize that she was faking it?” 

“obviously not!” luke groans, his cheeks a vibrant red. “she was very convincing.”

you almost admire katie — knowing that she’s worth more than a guy she has to fake orgasms for — but you remind yourself that you’re here to comfort luke. 

luke falls back onto the bed, hands covering his face. 

“i wouldn’t be too hard on yourself — it’s actually really common for women to fake orgasms. mostly because men have no idea what to do.”

“because sex is impossible,” luke groans.

“it’s not, actually. think of it this way — how’d you get to be the best swordsman at camp?”

“...through training and lots of practice.”

you nod once. “exactly. sex is the same: you need to learn what your partner wants and what makes them feel good.”

“then i’ll be the best?”

you roll your eyes. “then you’ll be the best, and katie gardner will be sorry that she ever dumped you.” 

luke doesn’t say anything, so you figure it’s time to get back to your senior counselor duties. you collect your clipboard and start getting up.

“wait.” luke grabs your wrist before you can move any further. “would you be open to….training with me?”

you hesitate, but you can’t deny that you’re intrigued by the offer. “look, castellan, you’re fragile now from the breakup and clearly not in your right mind —”

“i want to learn,” luke insists. 

and that’s how you find yourself, legs spread wide with your back pressed against luke’s bare chest. you suck on two of his fingers as you guide his other hand to your breast, prompting him to pinch your nipple. 

his chin is hooked over your shoulder, watching intently as you now bring his spit-soaked fingers down and plunge them into your pussy.

“this is a good start,” you praise. your own fingers scrape through his curls as you encourage him to go faster, harder. “now, if you really wanna make someone cum....”

you move his thumb to your clit.

“like this?” luke asks, his voice low. you throw your head back in pleasure when he presses down and starts rubbing in tight circles. luke becomes more confident after that. he curls his fingers inside you, and brushes the spot that always makes you unravel. 

per your instructions, luke keeps plunging his fingers into you as you ride out your high. once you come down, he pulls out and sucks off your juices off.

“tastes real,” he hums; you nudge his side. “what! am i wrong?”

you shake your head, and luke responds with a triumphant grin. 

“i’d say that was a good first lesson.”

“you’re already my star student,” you praise. you turn around so you can straddle him properly, kiss him and lick up any remnants of you on his lips. he moans underneath you when you rub yourself on his hardened length. “but, you still have a lot to learn.”

[jarofstyles]

Leather & Lace 2

Hello my loves! Leather and Lace 2 is now yours. The next and last official part is available on our Patreon early, but I’m willing to write some more for them if you guys want 👀 they’ll be classified as ‘extras’ but oh well hehe

Check out our Patreon for early access and 170+ exclusive writings

Leather & Lace masterlist

Warnings- possessive H, kind of a dickhead

WC- 3.7k

Things had shifted between Harry and Y/N.

He hadn’t been sure what to expect after she’d blown him, but she didn’t make it awkward at all. If anything? They were more comfortable around each other. Harry was less nervous to touch her, pulling her into his side as they sat on her new couch the next day or adjusting the hair from her face when the wind got it stuck in her lip gloss when they’d met for lunch. The way she reacted to his touch was much more noticeable to him now which made him feel particularly chuffed. Y/N was important to him before, but it seemed like the intimacy had elevated them to a different level.

It had only been a week since the night at her place where she’d given him the best blowie he’d ever received, but they hadn’t done much else. They had cuddled in bed that night, kissed a little bit, but he hadn’t had a chance to get her truly alone and it was driving him nuts. 

Y/N was popular and she had a lot of activities she liked to do. Paint n’ sip classes she helped run, volunteering at the library, at the animal shelter, helping her new neighbor with her cat, on top of her own workload. The closest he’d gotten to alone time with her was when she arrived at his place on wednesday to climb into his bed and pass out, which she’d done with a smeared kiss to his lips. She’d been asleep once her head hit the pillow. 

He’d gotten to see her out quite a bit as he was often wrangled into helping her. He used to pretend to be grumpy about it and huff and puff when she’d pat his head but he hadn’t even tried to do that this week. Instead he let his touches linger and watched her smiles grow, happy to get a few seconds to hug her before she had to move on to something else. It had been driving him out of his mind, and if they didn’t have the promise to go back to her place tonight he may have lost it. 

House parties weren’t something he particularly liked, but when Y/N called him on video chat and gave him her puppy eyes while asking him to help her set it up for Sarah, he couldn’t say no. He did like the other girl well enough and he knew how crazy Y/N was about birthdays, so he’d given up his friday night to the whole surprise party. 

Though he wasn’t feeling very generous with Y/N’s time anymore. For the first hour of the party he’d followed her around and lingered in the corners to make sure she was okay as she chatted to people, but this observing really did him in. She was so fucking perfect. 

It hit him again how much he actually liked her. The whole experience was odd considering he hadn’t considered being in a relationship in this point of his life, content with hooking up and never seeing the other person again, but that was pre Y/N. Now that he had her in his world, it was hard to imagine himself with anyone but her. Sure, she was his opposite in a way, but they attracted. That’s what all the books and movies said, anyways. He want content just observing her, ignoring mostly anyone else who would come up to him or give them one worded answers with his eyes on his girl, the pretty little butterfly fluttering around the room. 

The feeling had been so unfamiliar that the first time he’d felt it, he’d thought it was heartburn or something. 

Harry had already admired her before but it was a whole other level seeing how much she tried to make other people feel seen. She gave them attention, smiling and listening intently before gracefully getting her exit out only to be stopped by someone else. How a woman like that had been into him enough that she’d wanted to blow him and keep him around, he had no clue. But there was no taking it back, and he was feeling greedy. 

Cornering her in the kitchen, he narrowed his eyes at her as she looked at him with a giddy smile. “M’tired of sharing your attention.” he said it simply, placing his hands on her hips and backing her into the quieter corner. She squeaked as her back hit the wall, a nervous giggle leaving her throat as he loomed over her. “Barely got a lick of your attention all week, and m’not happy about it, pet.” His lip pouted slightly, the ring on it glinting at the motion. 

She frowned, wrapping an arm around his neck. “I know it’s been really busy, H, and I’m sorry. I just wanted to help people out.” She sighed, watching him look over her face. The girl looked a little tired, which he didn’t like. 

“I know you do, sweets, but you’ve got t’learn how to tell people no. You’re spreading yourself too thin and you barely have a moment to breathe. Yeah, m’greedy for your attention but I don’t like the idea of you being tired and running ragged because people ask you t’do shit. They know you’ll say yes.” It actually did piss him off. He didn’t think everyone had malicious intent, no, and he knew Y/N was a big girl who could handle herself. But sometimes he had to wonder why they were so comfortable asking such big things of her. 

“I do like to help, though.” She tried to protest but really couldn’t, because he was right. She was bone tired and despite her bubbly nature, she had been deflating slightly as the night went on. Their weekend together was the reprise they got to have where she knew she’d have time to breathe. Selfishly she liked that Harry was able to be blunt and a little mean. He wasn’t to her, but his protectiveness of her really showed. 

“Yeah, but it means I get less time with you. And m’a selfish man, Y/N.” Tipping her chin up, he lowered his face towards her. “Not to mention you’ve been too busy to let me properly fuckin’ kiss you. Like your little pecks darlin, they’re cute, but where’s the kiss you gave me with my load on your tongue? Hm?” 

Y/N sputtered, whining at his dirty mouth but he could tell she liked it. Her eyes had widened but she had no real heat to her scolding, instead leaning into him a bit more. “I didn’t know you wanted me to kiss you like that.” The admission followed a beat of silence. 

“Always want you to kiss me, are you fuckin’ kidding?” He grumbled. “Can’t jus’ give me the best blowie of my life and fuck off. Didn’t let me return the favor which m’dying to do, but even more you’ve been keeping this mouth from me. Don’t like it one bit.” His thumb brushed over the plump bottom lip, exhaling through his nose as he shook his head. “S’a fucking shame. Can’t get how good we tasted together out of my head. Not trying to pressure you if you don’t want to do that stuff, you can tell me to fuck off but.. I don’t think y’want me to.”

“No, I…” She stumbled over her words. “I do want those things. I just didn’t expect you to talk so dirty.” The tilt of her lips gave the clue that she liked it. “I didn’t want to assume it meant more than just that even though I wanted it to and - oh” 

His mouth cut her off. Catching her off guard her lips opened a little bit, letting him be selfish and slip his tongue into her sweet mouth. Humming at the taste, his arm leaned against the wall as he held himself over her while the other kept her jaw angled the way he wanted it. The kiss was just like him. Intense and hot and a little sweet at the end when he pulled back and pressed three more pecks to her lips, rubbing his nose against the side of hers. “None of that shit. Meant a hell of a lot to me, silly little thing. Want to do it all the damn time. So you’re gonna have t’take it easy with giving all your time away, hm? Think I need some more of your help soon… and maybe…” He released her jaw to slide his hand to the back of her neck, massaging it just a little. “Maybe you’ll let me help you, hm? Someone’s got t’take care of such a sweet little thing. It isn’t fair.” 

“H-Harry.” She felt her cheeks getting hot. Harry’s attention had always been intense and maybe that’s part of the reason she’s been so busy this week. Anxiety over being truly alone with him again in case he regretted it, if he didn’t like what they did and didn’t know how to let her down easy- but this was the ideal, she thinks. Regardless of how much he flustered her, or how he was the biggest energy in the room, she found herself preening at the attention he gave her. “It meant a lot to me too.” 

Her hushed voice made him smile, leaning in to press a chaste kiss between her brows. “Good. Can we get going, then? Or would y’let me lick your cute little cunt in one of these bedrooms?” Did he say it just to watch her squirm? A little, but only because it was really fucking cute. 

“We can go. I’ve just got to say goodbye to some people.” She sent him a shaky smile as he nodded, pushing off the wall to wrap his arm around her shoulders. It was a new feeling for her to feel so… claimed. They had been around each other pretty consistently for a while but she could feel people looking, considering Harry was usually the victim of her clinging to his arm instead. Open affection wasn’t something anyone had seen from him, let alone with a girl that was so clearly different than him, but something about that made her giddy. 

Harry was impatient in general, but he tampered it down as Y/N said goodbye to the people she knew here. It was just in her nature to be a polite little flower, floating around the room to wish everyone a good evening. Her manners, oddly enough, aroused him. He liked seeing her be so sugary sweet and knowing that it was 100% genuine. It was even more nice to see considering he’d had a glimpse of what a bold and filthy girl she could be. The blowie the night she’d moved in had completely taken him off guard and let him know then and there that her innocence wasn’t all encompassing. She had some shadows to her, and he planned to see how full they could extend. 

His arm was around her as she said goodbye, merely nodding when people acknowledged him and not bothered when they didn’t. All that mattered to him was they were polite to her- though one of the guys had been a bit too bold, especially considering he was right fucking there.

“Her eyes are on her face, not her tits.” He said lowly. “And if you’d like t’keep yours, I suggest you remember that.” There was no full aggression, only a promise that he intended to keep. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d go at someone for her. 

Thankfully the prick flushed, muttering apologies before dashing away so he could use this as an excuse to get them the fuck out of there. 

Harry didn’t love parties. He didn’t like lots of people. He went for 3 reasons only, and they depended on the night. To get a drink, to get a fuck, or for Y/N. Though now he supposed he’d have an excuse for not going to many others. The plan was to keep Y/N to himself and not have to deal with the people he’d fucked around with not getting the hint even after he stated what he wanted. For once in his life he wanted one person and one person alone, and she was under his arm. 

To his surprise, she didn’t say anything about his snarky reply to the guy they’d last said goodbyes to, instead leaning into his side as they approached his car. It was a bit nippy outside and he knew she ran cold, so he’d remedy that quickly. “C’mere.” He sighed, picking her up and placing her on the hood of his car. Stripping his flannel off, he motioned for her to splay her arms out, helping her put it on. “Wasn’t too bad when you left but it’s a little too cold out for you now, hm?” His voice was softened as he stood between her knees, face level with her as he slipped his hands under the new layer. 

“I never remember to grab a sweater.” She admitted, smiling shyly as she felt palms running over her back. This was different. The whole thing was, seeing as Harry’s treatment of her had considerably softened up. He’d always been nice to her, don’t get her wrong! He let her sit on him and mess up his hair and hold his arm but… feeling him be the touchy one for once really made her feel… validated? Appreciated? She wasn’t sure of what the right term would be, but she felt like he liked her more than she had originally thought. “Who’s place do you want to go to?” 

“Hm… maybe mine. I just did a grocery shop. I know you’ve been busy this week, so I don’t want to go and mess up your place.” Y/N would be a bit unsettled if it got messy and he was planning on seeing what exactly he could get her to do with him. 

It had been circling around his mind the whole week, how he wanted to make it up to her. How he wanted to take her properly and feel her cum around his cock and his tongue and his fingers- anywhere he could get it. He was a man starved, pathetically so, but he didn’t have any shame in it. 

“Okay. I like your place.” It was the truth. He had a nice place in her opinion. It was bigger than her own, but not cold. Darker in aesthetic, brick and dark colors and richer patterns. She’d helped him make it nicer after she had seen the state of it the first time, a real bachelor pad that made her worry for his comfort. Thanks to the sweet girl, he had a much more comfortable sectional couch, a coffee table- with coffee table books, no less- and some art. She’d helped pick out his bar stools for his island in the kitchen, too. Little bits of her were all over his place, but that’s how he wanted it to be. 

“I’d hope so. You helped make it.” He snorted, tugging her closer to him so their centers were flush. The silence happened again, this time a little heavier. “I missed you this week.” The sentiment was repeated as he dragged a hand from under the warmth of his flannel and brushed the hair out of her face. The breeze hadn’t been much of a help. “I sleep better when you’re around. Know I like to give you shit and call you a needy pup, but I love it when you’re like that.” Tipping her chin up, he sighed as he observed her soft features. The slope of her nose, the mascara on her lashes that had flaked just a little bit, the slightly faded lip stain. He couldn’t imagine not being obsessed with her.

“I’m glad. I used to think I was a little annoying to you.” She admitted, fingers fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “I’m sorry I was so busy. I didn’t think you’d mind.” Historically he’d get grumbly about it but he understood- and she’d usually pop over or invite him to her old flat. 

“Course I mind. Not that you have stuff to do but you overwork yourself and…” licking his lip, he debated on whether or not to say it. “Was just hoping that you weren’t avoiding me, is all. That I didn’t make you uncomfortable last weekend.” 

Her heart clenched in her chest as she saw his eyes dip to the side, for once in his life showing a bit of vulnerability. Harry never seemed anxious about much, his general setting being a blank stare or a smug smirk, so it wasn’t something she saw often. Sometimes when he was drunk he’d get a little mushy about things but he hadn’t had much, if anything tonight. “No. Of course not. I initiated it, remember?” Her hand lifted to his face, the skin slightly cool from the night air. “I wanted to do it. I promise. If I was uncomfortable I’d tell you. Listen…” adjusting slightly, she caught his eye. “I feel the most safe when I’m with you. Sure, sometimes it feels like I’ve got a guard dog, but I feel really secure. I know you’d never hurt me, you always are so careful with me even if everyone else thinks you’re all rough and tumble… I know you and I know you’d only even touch me in ways I like. I really was busy, but I was just nervous you’d regret it too.” 

Harry’s brows furrowed at her admission. While he was over the moon that she always felt the safest with him, he had no idea why she would think he’s regret it. “Never. I just kept thinking about it. I wanted to do it more. I don’t regret anything, and I feel like I’ve got t’make sure you know that I don’t think of you as one of those quick fucks.” Even if she hadn’t said it, he was sure that was a thought that had lingered around in her head. That was his reputation and he’d be stupid if he didn’t know better. 

“I.. I never thought of it as that, no, but I wasn’t expecting commitment.” She admitted back, eyes wide as he looked into his own. It squeezed his chest, the idea of just being with her sexually. That wasn’t what he wanted. 

“No. I want commitment.” He said lowly. “You aren’t just a fuck to me, Butterfly. Not in the slightest. I fuckin’ adore you, y’know that?” He sighed, rubbing his thumb over her bottom lip and tugging it slightly before letting it snap back into place. “You’re my girl. You’ve been my girl for a while. I’ve jus’ been a bit of a pussy in trying to initiate anything because the last thing I wanted was for you t’think that you were just someone else I went to bed with. M’tired of that.” All he wanted to do was crawl into bed with her at night and feel her kissing him in the morning or watch her sleepy little face as she dreamt. All the fluffy, mushy shit he used to feel sick from were the exact things he craved. “Couldn’t get it up for anyone else after a while. I was only able to thinking about you and… after a bit, I had no desire to be around anyone else. They didn’t smell like you, didn’t sound like you. My cock was set on you and I think my heart wants to follow.” 

Y/N had to laugh at his last words but also in shock. She’d heard herself at the beginning of their friendship how he’d scoff at the idea of a relationship, made fun of the romance movies she liked, heard about him disappearing at a party for a bit before coming back with messy hair and swollen lips, sometimes a fly undone. But slowly that had stopped, if she recalled. The hookups, the snarky comments about love. It dwindled. Snark still existed for other things but he seemed to be more lighthearted around her. “You… you want like, a relationship with me?” Her eyes rounded at the thought. 

“I’d say don’t act so surprised, but I get it.” He had to admit that, a smile on his face. It surely was a lot for her to process, considering it still had him in a tizzy and he’d had months to work over these feelings. “Yeah. Want you to be mine. M’not good at sharing, though, so you’re gonna have to tell some of these people that you have a boyfriend that wants to love on you a bit when they demand your attention.” There was another pause as his ears turned a bit red. “If, if that’s what you’d want, though. I don’t want to rush you into a label or anything, m’fine with jus’ figuring shit out but I’ve thought of you as mine for a while and-“ 

Her hand pulled him to her, shutting him up with her lips. 

The man, for all his dark demeanor and rough glances, melted under her touch. Hummed into the kiss in surprise, cupping her jaw and reciprocated immediately as her hands went to the back of his neck to hold on to him. That giddy feeling in his stomach was buzzing as she giggled against his mouth as he chased it when she pulled back to get a proper breath.

“C’mere.” He mumbled, nudging their noses. “Lips are cold. Don’t be cruel, little Butterfly.” 

Y/N couldn’t have that, could she? “Sorry, boyfriend.” She smiled against his lips, pressing them right back where they belonged. 

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

XD @flurraz that's brilliant- clothing montage at the Carmine Compound!!!!

but it’s just Clara and Odette holding various weapons up next to Vaggie while their new adopted little sister scowls at her reflection and repeatedly says “NO” to the even more scowling reflection of their mom behind her

Vaggie: “Yeah no. I’m not wielding that.”

Clara: “It has spikes!”

Odette: “And hand protection.”

Clara: “And SPIKES.”

Vaggie: “Great, I could stab myself while swinging it around.”

Carmilla: “Only if you are terrible at it.”

Vaggie: (glaring) “Well I already know I’m not terrible with my spear, so I’m sticking with that.”

Carmilla: (Glowers) (goes back to pretending to check weapon schematics)

Odette: (ticks off failure on clipboard) “Sticking... or skewering?”

Vaggie: “Ha ha, very funny.”

Odette: (ticks off another point for herself on a little odette vs sisters score board)  

Clara: (rummaging in crate) “This isn’t funny and you guys shouldn’t be laughing.” (holds up new weapon) “Now THIS goes with your hair.”

Vaggie: “You’re kidding.”

Clara: “No kiddo, you’re kidding yourself if you think the long-ass shaft of a spear makes sense with a do that lovely and flowing.”

Vaggie: “What the fuck does that-”

Odette: “She’s right.” (makes new score board clara vs vaggie with one point to clara)

Clara: “No wonder you had trouble sparring with mom. Like, more that you would’ve had normally.”

Vaggie: “I haven’t been in a real fight in years okay!”

Carmilla: “It shows.”

Vaggie: “I’m. Working on it. I was one of that asshole’s best Exorcists once, I can-”

Carmilla: “Be better than that, hopefully.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.” (GLARES)

Clara: “All I’m saying is- no point fighting against yourself too, right? How hard did you have to focus to keep the stupid butt end from tangling in your hair?”

Vaggie: “I’m NOT cutting it.”

Clara: “Who’s asking?” (dangles weapon enticingly) “Look! Your new best friend!”

Vaggie: “A gun.”

Clara: “I know I know- you like sharp things and staby stuff, but look!”

Clara: (twirls gun dramatically)

Clara: “It has a knife on iiiiiit~”

Odette: “It would also not interfere with your hair.”

Vaggie: “I don’t know shit about guns.”

Clara: “What’s to know? Point and shoot. AND it’s got more reach than a spear! Which is good ‘cause you’re hair might be long, but the rest of you?” (rests elbow on vaggie’s shoulder) “Rest of you kinda comes up short.”

Vaggie: (grinding her teeth) “THANKS.”

Odette: (ticks another point for clara)

Clara: “Wait- You’ll take it!?”

Vaggie: “No.”

Odette: (ticks another failure) “Why not.”

Vaggie: "Oh wow I don't know maybe because-"

Vaggie: (ticks off reason on hand) “With a spear I have to choose every skewering I do and it’s a lot harder to miss and stick the wrong person. Even if I throw it it's only gonna go so far or through so many people. A bullet can go anywhere once it’s loose. If your aim is off by a centimeter that little thing goes wide. Maybe don't give the gun to the woman with a missing eye??? Definitely not when there are moving targets and things around she ISN'T supposed to shoot?"

Clara: "Oh riiiiight." (looks from gun to vaggie's eyepatch) "Huh."

Carmilla: (not looking up) "You were very accurate during our little play fight."

Odette: "I confirm. I've watched the security footage. I'm sure you could compensate."

Vaggie: "Well I'm not. I’m trying to protect my girlfriend and our friends and kill angels. I'm not not in this fight to ACCIDENTALLY kill someone.”

Carmilla: (smiles)

Clara: “Uh-huh. You like being close enough to catch all that blood splatter, don’t you.”

Vaggie: “…it’s just a perk.”

Carmilla: (smiles wider)

Clara: “Ew.”

Odette: “Impractical.” (adds ‘deranged’ to list of new sister’s traits, right under ‘gay’) “Mother, tell her she’s being weird.”

Carmilla: “I fight people with ballet, I’m afraid the toe of judgement I’m balanced upon is rather precarious.”

Vaggie: (SMIRKS) “Pretty badass though.”

Carmilla: “I know.”

Clara: “OH-!”

Clara: (disassembles gun) (chucks it) (claps hands) “I GOT IT!”

Vaggie: “What now.”

Odette: “Nothing good, statistically.”

Clara: “MOM! Mom- maybe she needs- You know!” (GRINNING EVILLY) “If the shoe fits….?”

Carmilla: “….Hmm.”

Vaggie: “What.”

Carmilla: (standing up and prowling around vaggie thoughtfully)

Vaggie: “…seriously, what?”

Carmilla: “Would you spin, please.”

Vaggie: (gracefully turns) “You know what I look like, miss Carmine.” (glares at clara) “There’s not much of me to look at anyway.”

Clara: “There’s enough, don’t worry~”

Vaggie: (rolls eye) “Wow. Such praise.”

Carmilla: “Can you stand on one leg without falling, or does the loss of your eye-”

Vaggie: “That’s more distance and depth and stuff.” (tucks one leg) “I’ve figured it out, kinda.”

Odette: “Yes? Constant assessment of changes in size and angle of objects?”

Vaggie: “You got it.”

Odette: “Seems rather strenuous for daily life.”

Clara: “Aww you get headaches or shit?”

Vaggie: “More like just tired. Keeping things in the same place when I can manage it helps a lot. Or it does when no one’s moving the lobby chairs around and then LEAVING them messed up like that anyway, for ME to clean up…”

Clara: “Or stumble into?”

Vaggie: “Whichever comes first.”

Clara: "Ow."

Odette: “So tidiness helps.”

Vaggie: “Yep.”

Odette: “Noted.” (notes it)

Carmilla: “Well you certainly are steady. Excellent posture.”

Carmilla: (leans in)

Vaggie: (leans back to maintain distance) (still on one leg)“Don’t forget confused and slowly losing patience, ma’am.”

Carmilla: “Mm? What? Oh sorry.” (leans back)

Carmilla: “You are a dancer, aren’t you.”

Odette: “...Oh no.”

Clara: “Oh YESSSSS.”

Vaggie: “Yes? Why the- why the fuck is she hiding behind her clip board-”

Odette: “I don’t want to relive my trauma.”

Clara: “I DO!”

Vaggie: “What the fuck does that have to do with me!?”

Clara: “Everything~”

Odette: “It’s about to be YOUR trauma.”

Vaggie: “What does THAT m-”

Clara: “Welcome to the family!”

Vaggie: “I- wh- why’re you making it sound like a THREAT!?”

Carmilla: “Our family is a threat. Now.” (taps heavenly steel ballet slippers together so they chime) “Can you stand en pointe?”

Vaggie: “….”

Vaggie: “….oh HELL no-”

Carmilla: “You already use your training as a dancer in battle. Weaponizing it fully is merely the next step.”

Clara: “Heheh. Step.”

Odette: (marks a point for mom)

Vaggie: “En pointe?” (clutching her spear) “THIS IS THE ONLY POINT I NEED!”

Carmilla: “Clara, fetch the practice slippers.”

Clara: (salutes) “Yes mom!”

Vaggie: “CLARA WAIT!”

Odette: “May mother have mercy on you.” (follows clara towards door)

Vaggie: “NO HEY- pendejo- WHY ARE YOU LEAVING TOO???”

Odette: “I will oversee the rest of the weapon loading. Also, I do not want to witness this, and am escaping.”

Carmilla: (sighs) “Dancing is a passion that is not always passed down from mother to child…”

Odette: “Not willingly anyway. Much like trauma.”

Clara: (out of sight) “I liked my trauma!”

Vaggie: “I’ve already got some, I don’t need more!”

Carmilla: “But you do not have your order of weapons yet. It will take half an hour to finish bringing out stock, checking each weapon for readiness, and crating them up again. Plenty of time for a little… assessment.”

Vaggie: (folds wings around herself) (backs away) “I’ve- dancing’s just a hobby, I’m, not even that good-”

Carmilla: “Your lies are terrible. Your form is perfect.”

Vaggie: “I’ve only danced for FUN!”

Carmilla: “And is not battle fun for you? The rush, the deadly interplay of partners you know so briefly and so intimately, to move in response and shape their own movements with yours?”

Vaggie: “…. I also like stabbing people!”

Carmilla: “Choreography for a spear. An interesting challenge.”

Vaggie: “Is this part of the deal for getting weapons from you, or-”

Carmilla: “Yes.”

Vaggie: “-en la madre…. fiiiiine.”

Carmilla: “You will submit to a small rehearsal?”

Vaggie: “Whatever.”

Carmilla: “Good. Now tuck those wings away.”

Vaggie: “Won’t I do better with-”

Carmilla: “You are more used to moving without them now, they're very nearly throwing off your balance. That, on top of your long hair, we do not have time to contend with.”

Vaggie: “But-”

Carmilla: “Fight without wings and keep them in reserve or cut your hair. Your choice.”

Vaggie: “…I guess.. keeping them as a surprise makes sense…”

Carmilla: “And you like having long hair, I know.”

Vaggie: “It’s whooshy.”

Carmilla: “Regardless, you will also at least be tying it back.”

Vaggie: (glowering) “Yes mom.”

Carmilla: “….”

Vaggie: “…”

Vaggie: “Ma’am I said ma’am.”

Carmilla: “I’m sure you did.” (turning away) (hiding smile) "Now. What always comes first?"

Vaggie: (sighing) (resigned) "Stretches..."

[raina-at]

Pride

Omg, you guys, it's the last one! Where did the month go!

A huge, huge thank you to @calaisreno for keeping is going the entire month, and a huge thank you to all of you for reading and writing and gushing and commenting and crying and making this more fun than it had any right to be. I'll miss this!

I did a Pride ficlet last year as a bonus ficlet because I missed two days. I had a lot of ideas for this year's, and maybe I'll post some of them as bonus ficlets through June, but for now, I say goodbye to May with John and Rosie.

--------

"Dad."

"Hmm?"

"Dad!"

John puts down the newspaper. Apparently this is a serious discussion. "Yes, love?"

Rosie throws herself into Sherlock's chair and contorts herself into a pretzel-like shape that can't be comfortable. "I'm...um..." It's apparent she doesn't quite know how to phrase her issue, because she's unnaturally hesitant. Sherlock's influence has made her shockingly blunt, while John's influence has made her shockingly foul-mouthed. Arguing with her is a joy. But now, very untypically, she looks confused and a bit lost.

"Ro, whatever it is, you can tell me," John says, leaning forward, a bit worried now.

"It's..." She sighs, looks down at her hands. "It's a bit personal?"

"Oh my god you're pregnant!" John blurts out, his momentary fear overriding his usually good brain-mouth-filter.

"Dad, what the actual fuck! I'm not fucking pregnant!" Rosie rolls her eyes so hard John wonders if she sprained something. "You know I'm on birth control. You went with me to get my first prescription, for fuck's sake."

"Accidents happen, my dear," John says, gesturing at his lovely daughter, who, light of his life, and joy of his world as she may be, was also very much an unplanned pregnancy.

"Fair enough," Rosie admits, deflating a bit. "Still."

"It wasn't a completely unreasonable assumption. You have a boyfriend, you're twenty, I'm assuming you're having sex."

"Please, dad!" Rosie exclaims, the tips of her ears turning red. "I really don't want to talk about my sex life."

"You think I do?"

Rosie makes a very Sherlock-like  'never mind all that nonsense now' gesture. "Anyway," she says, giving John a glare that tells him to shut up until she's finished. "It's actually kind of about Mark."

John nods, to let her know he's listening, but carefully and deliberately keeps his mouth shut, even as he's thinking, If he hurt you, I'll kill him so fucking dead so quickly he'll never know what hit him.

"It's... you know... he's... well, he's a boy," Rosie finally gets out.

John blinks a few times. Waits a bit. When it's clear Rosie won't be any more forthcoming about the issue, he dares to ask, "And?"

She looks down at her hands, studying them with unwarranted fascination. "I'm..." She sighs. "When did you know you were bisexual?"

John exhales audibly. Now he knows what this is about. In a family of mostly queer people, Rosie seems to have assumed she'd be some kind of queer as well. And if anyone knows how complicated identity can be, especially if it's weighed down by expectation, it's John. "Um. Quite honestly, I'm not sure I am."

Rosie looks up, surprised. "I mean. Mum. And Paps. Um. You know..." she makes a 'please fill in the gaps yourself' gesture.

"Look," John says, leaning forward and taking his daughter's hands. "I personally think labels are vastly overrated. If a word, or a label, or a phrase, helps you to better understand yourself, that's great. Use that label as long as it serves you, and if it doesn't anymore, use another one. As for me, I was raised in an environment where being different was bad. What kind of different you were exactly was completely beside the point. And I saw first-hand how the world treated your aunt, so I thought, best not think about it. I wasn't that attracted to men, it wasn't difficult to ignore. Until I met Paps, and you know how difficult he is to ignore."

Rosie grins. "Oh, yeah. So Paps made you bi?"

"No, you know it doesn't work like that. He made me... " John answers, smiling fondly at the memory. "Well, quite simply, he made me fall in love. He was—still is, of course—the most intriguing, gorgeous, infuriating, exasperating, fascinating person I've ever met, and I fell in love with him so hard, and so fast. But I wasn't ready, and he wasn't ready, and it took us years to get our acts together. And part of that was that we both couldn't accept a fundamental truth: The heart wants what the heart wants. Fighting against it only brings misery and destruction." He squeezes Rosie's hands. "So. Do you love Mark?"

She nods, her eyes shining with the truth of it.

"Is he good to you? Good for you?"

She nods again.

"Then who the fuck cares about anything else?"

Rosie's silent for a bit, apparently mulling over his words, still holding on to his hands. "So," she finally says, looking up from her joint hands with a smile. "You'll love me even if I'm straight?"

"Well, love, I suppose I can overlook this glaring character flaw. Also, you might meet a stunning lesbian when you're forty and she'll rock your entire world and turn everything you thought you knew about yourself upside down. And I want you to remember," he says, leaning in a bit more, looking deeply into her eyes, "I'm fine with everything, as long as you give me some grandkids first."

Rosie laughs and pushes him away. "Fuck off."

John gets up and makes his way to the kitchen. "So, sexual identity crisis over? You want to have some tea now?"

"Of course I want tea. But what you're saying, if I understand you correctly, is not to assume I'm straight just because I fell in love with a man?"

"I'm saying," John says, flicking the kettle on, "is that it doesn't matter, love. Gay, straight, pan, bi, ace, all these labels are useful if they help you understand yourself. But if you feel boxed in by a label, don't use it. Use another one. Use none at all. Let nothing ever keep you from knowing and understanding your own heart. That's the only thing that matters. I might be bi, who knows. The important thing is that I love Sherlock with all my heart, and that I made a commitment to him. Everything else is just noise."

Rosie is quiet for a bit, looking thoughtfully at the fire crackling cherrily in the hearth of 221B. "You're getting soft in your old age, Dad," she finally says, with a grateful smile.

John hands her a mug, drops a kiss on her head. "Love you too, dear," he says, smiling into her hair.

----

Don't forget that I'm collecting these ficlets here on AO3, and don't forget to check out the wonderful collection of May prompt ficlets as well. I know I'm already looking forward to reading all of them again.

Tags under the cut as usual.

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @jrow @peanitbear @jolieblack @meetinginsamarra @helloliriels @keirgreeneyes @lisbeth-kk @friday411 @givemesherbet-blog-blog @weeesi @thalialunacy @thegildedbee @dapetty @salmonsown

[redbatchedcumbermayned]

"I didn’t even know that there was the possibility of a romance option when voicing Heinrix" - Interviewing Chris Tester part 2

We're continuing our interview with Chris Tester, the voice of Heinrix van Calox in Owlcat's CRPG Rogue Trader. In this part we speak about insights into Heinrix's character, how the process of recording voice lines for a video game works, if Chris would romance Heinrix in game, and interacting with his fans.

Part 1 of the interview

I will publish this interview in three parts over the next week in text form and with the accompanying audio file (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.

F: So, you already talked a bit about Heinrix as a character. What drew you to the character or what hidden depth did you find in the character?

CT: Well, I hope I found some depth to the character. That contrast between principles or values that you seem to be holding onto and lots of unprocessed trauma going on underneath. Sure, that seems interesting, that seems like a really interesting thing to find. Because you can understand, therefore, the appeal of an ideology, which gives you the answers and it tells you what to do. Essentially, it gives you a role, authority, it gives you status, you completely understand the appeal of that. Just like I find voice-over incredibly appealing and exciting: it gives me structure and authority and the illusion that I know what I'm talking about and what I'm doing. 

And then there's the flip side: you could make him heretical in some way, shape or form. And you know, I love, obviously, the fact that he belongs to part of that world which I'm sort of familiar with. Where a lot of the more interesting characters are the ones that have disavowed this God Emperor kind of like status in one way or the other, they tend to have a little bit more going on. They're not two-dimensional villains, not all of them, not all of the time anyway. Whereas on the one hand he's not going full chaos, there was just an interesting tension there to explore. Also, it kind of reminded me a little bit of the Eisenhorn series, which again, it's an Inquisitor that through his pursuit of different things starts to question and use the powers of the warp for his own purposes. A very different character, but still, there are those parallels that I really liked, that fallibility, that vulnerability to a degree, but I wouldn't say too much because I didn't really know how vulnerable or how much of a journey he was going to have in the early stages. I didn't know that until we were recording, I'll be honest. 

And I didn’t even know that there was the possibility of a romance option, until we were like: Oh, these are romancing lines. And I was like, you what now? So, sorry, I appear to be saying some quite forward things, from his point of view anyway, that's slightly taken me aback. They were like: oh yeah, you're romanceable, you can have a romance. I was like, oh, okay, right. I'll just think back to the five hours or so of recording that we've done up to this point and pray that I've made the right choices. So that was a bit of a crazy ride, but thanks to Olga, the writer of my character, she gave really astute directions. She wasn't in all of the sessions, but the majority, especially when there were big plot beats to explain to me what the hell was going on, however, roughly. She was great. And also the technicians at 3B. I was working with a lot of different members of the group technicians slash directors as well. And they were great in terms of giving me not exactly the bare minimum details, but the bare minimum details that I needed in order to be able to make choices quickly, but strongly and relevant to the game. So yeah, it was quite a trip.

F: Thank you. Since you have been trained as a stage actor do you bring a certain physicality to voice acting? If you embody Heinrix, do you puff your chest? Are you rigid?

CT: Definitely. I think there's the reason why rather than having a small booth, I record in a room is, that I can explore those dynamics as much as possible. And the fact that I was able to record standing and very upright and taking that space was vitally important. Obviously, there's the action stuff that really helps when you're actually making fighting noises. That's one thing. But I think in terms of real subtle differences to be able to, as well as mic proximity when he's speaking under his breath and that kind of thing, that's obviously incredibly vital, but even the subtle things of being able to have that big open physicality because he is so often so imperious because he thinks he's absolutely right. That was a vital aspect to explore and just being able to be upright and expressive in that made such a huge difference. 

And also when, without wanting to give too much away, he's in more constricted circumstances, shall we say, trying to do that just purely through the voice means that it all becomes about the sound that you're making as opposed to the truth of the character's journey without wanting to be, again, too much of a cliche, but focusing on that rather than am I making the right gurgling noise?

F: Were you offered any other character to audition for Owlcat? Or if you could, which other character would you like to voice?

CT: I couldn't say any of the other characters. I do play a couple of NPCs randomly. I think before even I had Heinrix. There's some cockney London geezer in there that is immediately disposable. That was me. That was my kind of guaranteed role. I was like, great, fantastic, because I did the audition for Heinrix and then there was quite a few months before it was actually kind of confirmed. I thought the role had gone to somebody else. As with many of these things, you just don't hear back. If you don't hear back, you just assume it's dead and then suddenly it'll come back up or it won't or you'll see another voice actor posting on Instagram going “amazing session” and you slightly die inside and then you move on. 

But in terms of the other characters, I mean, I've met, at least digitally online, the vast majority of the principal companion cast and they're all lovely and amazing and I associate them with their performances. For better or worse, Heinrix is very much my kind of casting and I loved it. Not because he's pretty in a particularly posh kind of way, but that helps. Sure, I'll go with that kind of slightly emotionally constipated. I'm very well cast, very well done, but I think so is everybody else. Throughout the entire game, it's a bit of a who's who, they might not be all household names, but in terms of for myself, the actors that I know in some big parts and some really small parts, the actors that I know in the UK and in the U.S. voice-over scene, so much talent, so that it was just an honour to be included in that really.

F: So now I have to ask you a question from our discord server. Would you romance Heinrix if you were playing a female Rogue Trader? 

CT: I think that would be a bit weird. No, I'll just watch videos of other people romancing him slash me. Is that more or less weird? I mean, I'm 42 years old. I've spent far too much time playing with myself already. So, let's just draw a line under that, but other people are welcome to. That's absolutely fine. My only thing, without wanting to overstate it too much, is that I was very surprised that there was anything around any character that I've been related to but as with so many of the other companions as well, that's a testament to the writing. Credit to the whole Owlcat team in that respect.

F: Would you like to continue working with Owlcat in the future in another capacity?

CT: Oh, God. Yeah. They've not made me sign an NDA, so I can say, not name a thing, but there's DLC for one of their other titles, which I'm going to be in, and that's in a completely different world. There's that thing of once you've had one really positive experience with the developer and the type of games that they create. The ones that are very story focused, that's the type of games that I'm passionate about. I was brought up on these things like the Mass Effect Trilogy. You know, that absolutely iconic kind of stuff, and so to be a part of someone else's experience to facilitate that kind of longer storytelling stuff is exactly what I would be after. They've got a great process, amazing writers and I also think that the games themselves look fantastic. So yeah, I'm a fan of that.

F: So your fan base has certainly expanded since the release of the game. Do you mind having a female fan base now? Have you noticed that there is a bit of a shift because Warhammer 40k for the totally uninitiated looks like a male hobby and unfortunately some part of the male fans are very aggressive against female fans.

CT: Are absolutely ridiculous. Idiots, essentially. Because my relationship to the whole Warhammer 40k thing is like, I played it when I was really young, and then you put away your childish things. I'm saying that in inverted commas, that's kind of ironic or whatever, and then didn't really get back into it until someone gave me a book and I realised that the lore was actually quite good, quite interesting, and then actually really good and really interesting, and I therefore have done some novels for them and a couple of video games as well. 

But to your question, do I mind? No, of course I don't mind. I'm very happily married and well adjusted, so I definitely don't mind as long as it's all respectful, if that makes sense. Surprise, surprise, female fans seem to conduct themselves with that level of respect or if there is a server which is going into crazy, crazy character scenarios and that kind of stuff, no one's sending me a link to that. And even if it is, it's the character, it's not me, and so that's all quite healthy and good. And I think I'm definitely not in a position where I should be censoring any of that kind of thing at all. I think it's all positive and very, very healthy and everybody that I've interacted with has been incredibly respectful. So, I think that's great. 

And I think being able to portray these characters that offer that level of connection is great. We're in a post Baldur's Gate world, I suppose. Not that there weren't other games that did this, but on that scale and everything. I think the value that the games can offer in that. Rogue Trader is hugely valuable and I definitely wouldn't want to censure any of that at all.

F: Yeah, it was nice. I reconnected a lot with people who have this fandom experience again that I had in the Eddie Redmayne fandom more than 10 years ago when it was small, when you have a rather small group of fans and then a very nice person that you're a fan of, and you can interact with.

CT: So people have contacted me via Cameo, for example. And, you know, they've had a certain particular playthrough and then they say, well, I would like you to voice this letter from Heinrix or whatever.

F: That was me.

CT: There have been more than just you is what I'm saying, but sorry, not to say that I'm a whore and I'll just do anything, but you're not the only person who has come to me with that kind of thing. And that's great. That's a pleasure, because it's continuing to tell the story on a wider scale. But also the fact that you can personalise and make it your own. And that's the brilliant thing. 

That's part of the whole appeal of a video game, as opposed to it being a theatre piece or a film or something else is that it was very much your experience, your playthrough. You can have multiple versions of the thing that you kind of like one but you can really structure your own narrative. And that's a fascinating thing. You get to iterate on it yourself. You know, if one stage of that is also being able to call upon the voice actor to facilitate that, I think that's a cool thing, you know, as long as it doesn't get too weird or too whatever, but you know, whatever two consenting adults want to exchange money for or time, great, fine. I think that's less weird than getting an AI to do it personally. I think that level of storytelling is a great thing.

[jeons-catalyst]

Everyone aka antis talk about not seeing jkk in public means they never met eachother at all for chapt2 which is laughable given how it was soo easy for them to actually make an appearance together yet they didn't, Especially jm.

See everytime jm joined jk's lives (as in the comment section) jk has always asked jm to come over, and idt they live too afar that they can't cause i know many members live nearby. They could have posted a boxing video together with their coach giggling n shit (oh how I'd do anything to see them actually be in competitive mode and do sparring or wtv as competition) cause they both do it at same centre, jk said he'd come with jm once his promotions are finished yet they never did when it was easy for them to do it.

They were together in NYC , could have easily done one live together, or jm could have joined jk's live to make an appearance together. But alas they didn't even tell anyone they met eachother in nyc cause that's them. I'm very sure had it been any other duo they would have done it but jikook are jikook.

Jk really said he was going to sleep when jm joined the live cause he was awake all night nd as he had work at 2 pm nd he was awake till 8Am when jm joined but man was like "do you want to come over? Or should i come to yours? Don't laugh tell me, I'll really go if you say yes" believe i have never seen him being this insistent over anything. I was like boyy you have work in afternoon so you're supposed to atleast take some sleep before that but jk said nahh I'm UP. Kind of reminded me of that time when he was like"I'm upset, in soo upset, in very upset" he only stopped after asking jm to say sorry to him lol. Jk definitely wouldn't have offered to go to jm's home even clean up there and do a live together at his or jm's home if they weren't in touch with eachother. If you're talking to eachother after some time u don't offer this. Cause things could have easily gone AWKWARD on that live if they did one spontaneously. U need to be in touch with ur frnd to get that fluency and comfort to try it.

So jm doens't even had to do anything he just had to type"yes come over" and boom we all would have gotten that jikook live but jimin said you ain't getting shit fellas.

Again they could have done a live wheb they went to japan, i mean i get that they were busy but being in japan also gives you sense of protection cause fans over there are very careful. So no one would have chased them (the way it kinda happens in other countries ).

That time when jm went to jk's b'day with hobi jm could have easily posted a pic of jikook or jihopekook but he didn't , he rather cropped the heck out of that picture.

My point is it was really easy for jikook to make a public appearances, if they wanted they could have easily done it. I'd say it was mostly jm. If it was about us they would have done it but it's upto them and they chose not to is what I'm saying.

Plus these are the ones that we know of I'm sure there's some of other times where they met too. Ppl always ignore the fact that jm told jk he'd meet him after the promotions and i bet he did. I know alot are hung on that "did you eat ramen by jk" to which jm said "No" which mind u he actually said it after coming back from US so jm was basically still busy with his work. I remember well how he told us that taeyang has been asking him to come to his house for that meal which they promised during vibe's making, it was jm who said he likes kimchi or stmg else to taeyang to which they made plan of jm going to his house yet jm kept it on hold even tho that man is someone jm has admired for yrs as an idol and he went taeynag's home later when he got a little time from his promotions. Point is if he can keep that dinner (or lunch) on hold at taeyang's home u can tell how busy he must have been. I mean he literally prepared 2 albums in all that time, jm is workaholic nd he's been preparing for albums since the time they were on ptd tour. He was Hardly not working. So if he asked jk that he'll meet him after promotions then you best believe he did.

Jk was ready to go to jm's home that day just for a live yet jm's stopped him saying we'll meet after your promotions end. His thoughts are always about well being first. It's easy for him to say yes yet he's very considerate. That's why jk says jm's charm is him being considerate and refers to kind acts as him copying jimin. Did the same when tae started the live during jk's live nd jm was like let him do it. He's different than others that's for sure. If two ppl are home buddies you best believe their meet up mostly would be at home.

Totally agree with you anon.

[impala-19-67]

𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐲’𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

dean fic, but if you want, i can switch some things up and change it to sam. (poll at end.)

also available on Wattpad

𝖲𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝙄𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙎𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙮, 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙅𝙚𝙨𝙨. 𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙝𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙣. 𝘼𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙣, 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙢𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮, 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙪𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩.

𝖯𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙭 𝙛. 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: 18+, 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩 (𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚)

𝖲𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾: 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙚 2020; 𝙨𝙤 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙦𝙪𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙯𝙚 (𝙗𝙚 𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩) 💕

𝖶𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍: 5625

𝖬𝖠𝖲𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖳

You were a very close friend to Sammy in college; he was like a brother to you. You told him everything, and he told you everything, and I mean everything. the monsters, the hunting, and what happened to his mom and Jess. You didn’t believe a word he said at first, but as time went on, you knew he was telling the truth, especially when he left. 

He left college randomly after the night with Jess and fell off the face of the earth. You didn’t hear one word from him—no emails, no texts, not even a little beep from the phone. You knew something was up, but that wasn’t any of your business. after many months of waiting, you decided you’d contact one of Sam’s old friends, Amy Pond. She had a thing with him in middle school, so you thought she’d be the best to go to. You were right. once you contacted her, she sent you an address:

As soon as you sent that last message, you were on your way. After days and days of driving, you finally made it. You walked up to the door and knocked. A man with short, light brown hair opened the door. I could see a gun for a brief moment before he placed it on his back. 

“What’s a beautiful girl like you doing at the bunker door?” He removed his hand from the door, placing it in the front pocket of his jeans. 

“Uh, does Sam Winchester live here?” I look down at the address on my phone. He glances at my phone and then back at me, making eye contact. 

“Yeah, Sammy lives here. Are you his girlfriend or something?”

“Oh no, no, I went to college with him; he kind of just jumped off the face of the earth.” I chuckle nervously. 

He then looks at you puzzled. “college friend. he tell you anything?” 

“If you mean hunting, yes, I know it all.”

He shakes his head and chuckles, “That boy” " He moves out of the way and motions you in. “Sam’s room is the last one down that hall,"  he points down the hall, “you can go wait on him in there if you want.”

I glance down the hall and then back at the man. “Where is he?”. 

“He’s on a hunt; he should be back by downfall.” he closes the door behind me. “just make yourself at home; I’m dean, by the way.”

“Y/n, nice to meet you... Wait, oh my god, you're Sam’s brother.” 

He chuckles, “So you know about me? all bad, huh?”

“Not all bad,” I chuckle. he grins, enjoying your company. “Oh, and by the way, Sam doesn’t know I'm here.” 

“So you just showed up unannounced?”

“Well, I contacted one of his old friends, Amy Well; he had a thing with her in middle school.”

“How do you know Amy?”

“Well, me and her became acquaintances through Sam, and she told me she saw Sam around and gave me the address of this place.” 

Dean looks shocked and surprised. “Amy’s alive? he and I… we thought she was-”  he stopped himself before spilling information you didn’t need to know. He took a breath. “I haven’t heard from her in a while. She’s alive… and well?”

“Yeah, she told me she had some hormonal issues, which Sam helped her with. I don’t believe it one bit, but what can I say?” I shrug. “Anyways, you said Sam’s going to be here around downfall?” 

Dean looks out the window, the sky growing darker by the second. “I'd say he’s going to be here any minute now.” 

“Why didn’t you go hunting with him?” 

“I'm on lockdown.” he chuckles, and I nod. The door then suddenly flies open. There stands Sam, joined by a man in a trench coat, both covered in vampire blood and dirt. His eyes widen when he sees you standing in the entrance hall. I raise my eyebrows in shock, and I look him up and down. Sam stands there in disbelief, not sure he understands what he’s seeing. “y/n? What're you doing here?” 

I let out a nervous chuckle. “I uh thought I’d come see you.”  

Dean chuckles, his grin growing wider. clearly, he’s enjoying the shock looks. Sam runs his hand through his hair, trying to hide how flustered he is as he approaches you, not wanting to look too relieved at the fact that you're here. “Maybe this was a mistake.” I glance at Sam, then to the ground. 

Sam stops just before you, looking down at himself and grimacing as he takes note of the vampire blood staining his hands and clothes. “I should go shower; I must look a mess.” He walks past you, heading towards his room, with his head down. still embarrassed that you were here to see him looking the way he does. Dean shakes his head, unable to contain his laughter as he looks at you. 

I glance back at Dean. “Maybe I should go.” 

Dean shakes his head, refusing to let you leave now. “Oh no, you’re staying here. do you have any idea how long it’s been since Sam had a pretty girl around here? I’m not letting you go so soon.” 

“It’s not like that, Dean.” 

He grins. “Oh, sure, because you don’t find my brother attractive one bit?“ 

“No, absolutely not.” 

“Don’t blame you,” he chuckles. “But really, I’m surprised—muscles and good hair. you're not swooning?” He can’t help but smile. 

“He’s cute, just not in that way. He’s like a brother to me, and I’m starting to think coming here wasn’t a good idea.”

He laughs, finding the fact that you think of his brother as a ‘brother’ amusing. “Oh, cmon, don’t leave. you’ve only been here for 20 minutes. you should wait till Sam’s out of the shower; he’ll want to see you. I’ll grab us some beers. You go sit on the couch and put something on TV.”

I nod and follow his instructions, walking to the couch and sitting down. I grab the remote and find something to watch on TV. dean soon returns from the kitchen, beers in hand. he sits down beside you, not leaving much space between you two, and hands you a beer. “So you said you went to school with Sammy?” he takes a swig of beer, waiting for a response.  

I look at him, watching as he sits down, and I take a beer from his hand. “Yeah, we were both in law school.”.

He almost spits out his beer in shock, hearing what you say. He grins at you in surprise, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. “law school? You and Sam? two lawyers.” He lets out an amused laugh at the thought of the two of you in suits, carrying briefcases. 

I smile warmly while watching him laugh. “Well, I wasn’t going to be a lawyer; I just had to go through law school to be a detective.”

“A detective, eh?” he grins, taking another sip of his beer, and shifts slightly so his body is facing yours. “And what did you find so interesting about being a detective?” Dean can’t stop smiling as he looks at you, intrigued and captivated by your company. 

“It’s just fun, you know? seeing what’s crazy behind people.” I smiled slightly. 

He nods in agreement, loving the conversation you've started. He raises his beer suddenly and holds it out towards you, beckoning for you to do likewise. He holds his up to yours for a 'cheers'. You do the same, lifting your glass. “to the mystery behind all the crazies in the world.” 

You smile slightly and say, "Cheers.” he then clinks the glasses together and takes a big gulp, never taking his eyes off yours. you then also take a drink. he removes the glass from his lips and licks them with a smile. he was pleased with the way the evening was going. he leaned back into the couch, getting comfortable resting his heYouon the back of it. he turns his head towards you, trying not to get lost in your eyes. his curiosity piques even further as he continues to talk with you. “So, tell me something else about yourself. What do you like to do in your free time?” he takes another swig of his beer, taking note of the way you smile and the way your eyes sparkle every time you talk to him. 

“Well, I don’t know; I'm always in college, so I don't have much free time.” You rub the top of your beer bottle. You look down. “But when I am free, I read books.” You then meet Dean's gaze. 

“Books? What kind? I used to love comics as a kid. Batman, Iron Man, the whole superhero thing. I could stay immersed in a comic all day.” He smiles warmly. 

I admire the way he talks about something he enjoys and loves. the way his eyes sparkle and his voice changes as he gets excited. I chuckle. “I was more of a Berenstain Bears and Geronimo Stilton girl, but Batman was good too, and Superman.” I smile. “But now I'm more of a romance and fantasy girl.”

He looks amused. “romance huh? you like the sappy stuff with the hero who swoops in and saves the damsel in distress?” he grins, taking another swig of beer. 

“Actually quite the opposite.”

He raises an eyebrow, surprised by your answer. “Oh, so you're into the bad boys then?” he can’t help but smile at the thought of you with a bad boy, with him. I grin, but suddenly he and I both hear the bathroom door open. sam emerges in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. sam suddenly stops, noticing you sitting there sipping a beer as if nothing is wrong. he looks from you to his brother. “y/n, can we speak alone?” 

“Uh, yeah, yeah, of course.” I put my beer bottle on the table and stood up, walking around the couch and to Sam. We both walked down the hallway. “yeah?”

Sam leans against the wall, gazing at you, still utterly confused by your unexpected visit. “Can you explain why, on earth, you're here?”

“I told you, Sam, I wanted to come see you.”

Sam lets out a sigh, still not quite able to process what's happening. he smiles warmly at you, a mixture of amazement and surprise evident on his face. “It's great to see you; don't get me wrong, but you have no idea how insane this is. just shows up out of the blue. what were you thinking?”

“I was thinking you’d be thrilled to see me, you know after you fell off the face of the earth.”

He lets out a small sigh, realizing that his disappearing act might not have been the best way to handle things. “yeah, not the smartest move on my part...but still”. he steps closer and reaches out a hand to touch your arm slightly. “You really should have given me a warning.”

“I tried, Sam.” 

He looks at you with a sheepish grin, clearly embarrassed at the thought of ignoring your calls. “You got me there. I might have deleted your number...” he sees the look on your face, realizing his mistake, and quickly looks away. “Not because I didn't want to hear from you, but, uh, we've been on the road a lot; things have been hectic.” 

I listen to his words, but I can’t help but feel a little hurt and disappointed. “yeah”. 

He senses the change in your mood and immediately regrets his words. he takes a deep breath and steps closer, gently lifting your chin up to look at him. you look up at him, listening to his every word. “Hey, listen, I'm sorry, ok? I know I should have kept in touch; it was a shitty thing to just drop off the radar. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just trying to protect you, you know.” he looks at you, his eyes filled with sincerity. 

“I know, but a simple message would have been nice.”

He lets out a small chuckle at the thought of how difficult he's been. he speaks softly, his tone sincere and filled with regret. “you're right. I should have let you know I was alive; I was just...” he hesitates for a moment, struggling to find the right words. “I was worried that if I reached out to you, it would just put you in danger.”

I give him a slight smile. “Awe, you care about me.” I tease. 

He laughs at the tease; he runs his thumb across your chin softly and smiles down at you, his eyes full of care. “Of course, I care about you. maybe more than I care about myself. I would do anything to keep you safe; I hope you know that.”

I sigh. “I know.”

He pulls away a little as sudden steps are heard further in the hallway. his eyes look away for a moment, and he lets go of your chin. “How long will you be staying for?” 

I was a little confused when he pulled away, but as steps were heard and a face was shown, I soon got distracted as the man in the trench coat from earlier passed by, giving an awkward smile. I smile slightly and give my attention back to Sam. “I wasn't planning on staying, just stopping by.” 

Sam smiles warmly, happy that you're here, but his smile quickly fades as he realizes. “Do you have somewhere to go afterward? a place to stay?” he tries to make the question sound as innocent as possible, but you notice the hint of concern in his eyes. 

“Not really; I was just going to go back home.”

He looks over at you, clearly surprised that you could travel all the way here with nowhere to spend the night. he rubs the back of his neck, feeling sorry for you. he turns away for a moment, thinking about what to do. he bites his lip, hesitant to say what he is thinking, but then turns back to you. “Listen, if you want, you can stay here. we have a few spare rooms, one of which you can have.”

“No, no, I don’t want to intrude.”

He quickly shakes his head, not wanting you to refuse the offer. “You won't be intruding at all, trust me. besides, it's already getting dark out, and I don't want you staying at some hotel when you can stay here, no problem.”

“You sure?”

He grins, his eyes soft and inviting. “of course. you can stay here as long as you need to; we'd love to have you. and I'm sure that my brother would be more than happy to have you here too.”

I chuckle. “Your brother is a flirt, you know?”

He laughs and smiles, knowing exactly what you're talking about. “Oh, believe me, I know. the whole womanizing thing is pretty much how the guy operates. you have to excuse him for that; it's all harmless. there's no harm in a little flirting now and then, is there?”

“Eh, I think it's cute.” 

He raises an eyebrow at you, intrigued by your choice of description. “cute, huh? well, I guess there's something endearing about his bad-boy charm and cheesy lines. I'm pretty sure he's been hitting on you since the moment you walked through the door.”

"100%, but I don’t mind.”

He chuckles, enjoying the conversation. “He's quite a charmer, isn't he? he's got that whole thing going on—the hair, the scruff, the charm. but trust me, he's a good guy underneath all that swagger.” 

I chuckle. “the swagger?” 

He chuckles along with you, clearly enjoying the lighthearted conversation. “Yeah, that's right. that confident, almost cocky way he carries himself. it's the Winchester charm, or as I like to call it, "the swagger".” 

“Hou can't blame the girls for falling for it, really.” I laugh. “Okay, well, you probably had a long night, so get in bed.”

He smiles warmly at you, appreciating your concern despite his exhaustion. he takes a deep breath and nods slightly, still feeling the weight of fatigue from the hunt. “yeah, it's been a long night. a hunt that went on a bit too long, but we got the job done, and that's all that matters.” he pauses for a moment, looking at you with a soft expression. “If you need anything, anything at all, just let me know, okay? I want you to feel welcome here.”

I nod. “will do,” I say, giving him a hug “Goodnight, Sam.” 

He smiles and hugs you back, appreciating your kind words and warm embrace. "goodnight, y/n. sweet dreams. and seriously, if you need anything, I'm just down the hall. don't hesitate to ask."

I nod and pull away. “I know I'll be with your brother, so” I walk backward slightly.

He turns back to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Be careful around my brother, will you? I know he's charming, and you probably think he's quite the ladies' man, just remember what I said earlier. it's all harmless—just some good old-fashioned flirting. he's a great guy, and I trust him, but just keep an eye on him, alright?”

“Oh, I will,” I tease with a wink. 

He chuckles at your teasing wink, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. he watches you as you head off down the hallway, a mix of exhaustion and contentment on his face, grateful for the company and the lighthearted conversation.

I turn around and walk back into the living room, sitting on the couch with a sleeping dean. I smile. “hey Dean.” 

Dean stirs slightly at the sound of your voice, pulling his weary body up into a sitting position and blinking slowly as he adjusts to being woken up. he looks slightly disheveled, his hair a mess, and his eyes flickering open as he tries to shake off the last remnants of sleep. he looks up at you with a smile, clearly happy to find you still here. “hey.”

I smile. “hey.”

He stretches his arms above his head, letting out a yawn as he tries to wake up fully. he gazes up at you with a warm smile, admiring your beauty even in his sleepy state. “What are you still doing here? I thought you would have left by now.”

“Sammy and I were talking. I'm going to stay the night; I just wanted to check up on you before heading to bed.”

He smiles, clearly impressed by your thoughtfulness. "Ah, so you're checking up on me now? how sweet." he playfully raises an eyebrow, teasing you with a smirk on his lips. 

I playfully roll my eyes. “Well, get yourself to bed; I'm going to mine. goodnight.”

He chuckles at your feigned annoyance. "alright, alright. but before you go..." he moves closer to you, putting his hand on your shoulder and bringing his face closer, his tone now softer and more sincere. "thank you. for stopping by and for checking up on Sammy. it means a lot."

“No, yeah, of course.” I smile. 

He smiles back at you, his eyes filled with warmth and appreciation. he's about to say something else, but a loud snore from his brother interrupts him, and he shakes his head, both chuckling at the irony of it all. "well, if that's not a sign, I don't know what is," he laughs, nodding towards his sleeping brother. "I guess it's time to hit the hay.”

“Goodnight Dean.”

He smiles at you one more time, his eyes filled with affection and admiration. he leans in closer and whispers quietly. “Good night, gorgeous.” he reaches out hesitantly and gently touches your chin, his fingers brushing against your skin with a soft touch. he gazes at you for a moment longer, savoring the moment before pulling away and then walking towards his room, a faint smile still lingering on his lips. he takes a deep breath and feels a sense of contentment wash over him. for a moment, he forgets about all the chaos, the monsters, and life on the road. it's just him, you, and the comforting presence of the bunker. before disappearing into his room, he takes one last glance down the hallway towards you, his eyes filled with a mixture of admiration, affection, and a hint of something more. 

A few weeks go by

And life was sweet. sam somehow convinced you to stay a few weeks, and today is supposed to be the day you leave to go home. you felt some sort of comfort being here. you've grown closer to the boys and even Castiel, who you’ve learned was an angel. sassy one at that. you’ve shared meals, stories, and beer, and Dean even taught you a little self-defense. Speaking of Dean, you try your best to deny it, but you can't help but notice the way Dean's eyes linger on you. that familiar heat simmering beneath the surface. and sometimes, when you catch him staring, you notice a fleeting hint of vulnerability in his gaze, a glimpse of something more than just flirtation. 

This evening, you decide to retreat to the library, a room adorned with countless leather-bound books and manuscripts. you quietly find a corner to relax, surrounded by the comforting silence. it quickly becomes noticeable that you're not alone; from the bookshelf nearest you, a pair of eyes intently observe you with intrigue. “Dean,” I smile, knowing he's approaching from behind.

With a chuckle, Dean steps closer, his footsteps soft against the floor. he leans on the bookshelf next to you, his eyes fixed on yours as he grins. "Hey there, gorgeous. Sorry, I startled you."

“You didn’t startle me.” I turn my head to face him. 

He smiles, amused by your nonchalance. “oh really? so you knew I was here the whole time, huh?” he raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk dancing on his lips.

“Either you or a ghost.”

He looks at you with mock offense, a hand dramatically moving to his chest. “A ghost, huh? ouch. you really think I blend in with the supernatural world that much?" he chuckles.

I chuckle as well. “I mean, apparently you’ve died like a million times.”  

He grins, amused by your comment. “touché. I guess you have a point there. I can't deny that I've cheated death more times than I care to count. but if you're comparing me to a ghost, that's a new one. most people just call me a "sexy beast."

I laugh. “Dean, no one calls you that, and no one will.”

He looks at you with mock indignation. “oh yeah? Well, maybe they should. I mean, I've got the scars to prove it.” he jokingly lifts his shirt, revealing a few old battle scars and chuckles.

When he lifts his shirt, you lick your lips, right before looking into his eyes. “Still, no one’s going to call you ‘a sexy beast’.”

He quickly drops his shirt back down, pretending he didn't notice your reaction. he tries to hide his amusement and play it cool, but a hint of a smile betrays his attempt at aloofness. “Are you sure about that? I mean, I've got the charm, the looks, the whole package.” he grows a cheeky smile.

“That you do,” I mumble, looking down at my book. 

He chuckles softly, noting your mumbled agreement. he leans in closer, intrigued by your sudden attention to the book in front of him. His curiosity piques. “What are you reading, beautiful? something spicy?” 

“Maybe,” I smile. 

He raises an eyebrow, his smirk growing wider at your cheeky response. he moves behind you, his voice dropping to a seductive whisper as he leans in even closer to you, his breath gently brushing against your skin. "Is that so? I wonder if I can make my way onto those pages then. I have a feeling I'd be a pretty good candidate for the lead role." your breath slightly hitches. he smirks at your reaction, clearly enjoying the effect his words have on you. "I have a feeling we'd make quite the duo on those pages. what do you say? care to be my co-star in this little book of yours?"

“Dean” 

“Yes, sweetheart?” 

“What are you doing?”

He moves from behind you so he can look you in the eyes. he gazes deeply into your eyes, his voice dropping to a mere whisper as he reaches out and gently cups your face, his fingers tracing the contours of your cheek gently. "I’m tired of playing games, sweetheart. I'm tired of denying myself what I really want. and right now, all I want is you. I’m tired of pretending and holding back."

I lean into his touch, my heart pounding against my chest like a drum. I look up at him, his desire mirrored in my eyes. "then don't play games, Dean. don't hold back. take what you want."

Dean grins and his breath catches at your words. “You sure? because once I start, there’s no going back.”

I nod. 

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 smut has entered the chat… 

His thumb gently grazing my bottom lip. his gaze intensifies once more, a fire burning within his eyes. he takes my hand in his and leads me to his room, slamming the door shut and locking it. “Fuck, you're so goddamn gorgeous, you know that?" he says almost desperately, pulling you closer, his lips claiming yours in a hungry, needy kiss. his hands roam over your body, desperate to touch every inch of you. Dean grins, a wicked gleam in his eyes as he pushes you against the wall, his body pinning yours tightly. he trails hot, messy kisses along your neck and shoulder, your breath hitching. He then kisses you again, his hands traveling lower over your body. he pauses, his fingers hovering over the waistband of your pants, before he looks up at you, almost questioning. "You want me to stop?" I shake my head no. "good girl," he murmurs, a husky tone to his voice. his fingers dip inside the waistband of your pants before he pulls them down, along with your underwear, in one swift motion. he kneels between your legs, his tongue flicking out to taste the sweetness of your folds before he takes you in his mouth. "Fuck, you taste so good." his tongue swirls around your sensitive clit before he sucks it into his mouth, his tongue flicking and stabbing at the sensitive bundle of nerves. your back arches as your body tenses up. you run your hands through his hair as his fingers work magic on your breasts, rolling the nipples between his fingers. he pulls his mouth away from your clit, licking at the juices that have pooled around his lips. he looks up at you, his eyes soft with concern.

“What?” 

“You're tightening; I don’t want to hurt you.” 

I smile. “Honey, take me.”

He smiles and picks you up laying you on the bed, taking his pants and underwear off. "I'm not gonna hurt you, baby. I promise. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel." he gives you a quick kiss before positioning himself between your legs, his cock leaking pre-cum. he slowly pushes himself inside you, your eyes locked. he goes slow at first. You let out subtle moans, letting your body adjust to the feeling of him inside you before he starts moving, his strokes are deep and hard. his eyes never leave yours as he increases his pace, his thrusts becoming harder and faster. he reaches down to play with your clit, rubbing it in circles with his thumb as he continues to fuck you. at this point, you're a moaning mess. he keeps stroking in and out, causing your legs to twitch slightly, he slowly pulls out. You meet each other's gaze, up,h sweating and panting. "you alright, princess?" he asks with concern as he looks at the mess he made between your legs, his cock still hard and leaking.

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

“Good," he says before he leans down and kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as he hovers over top of you. he then falls beside you, grabbing your hips and motioning for you to sit on his lap. You follow his instructions. "put your legs on the outside, baby.” he says, guiding your legs to straddle him, his hard cock pointing up. he looks up at you, your eyes locked with his. he’s still hard and leaking pre-cum from earlier. you slowly lower yourself onto him, feeling his cock slide into your pussy. you bite your lip as your breath hitches. his hands wander to your hips as he pulls you down harder onto him, causing both to gasp. he starts to throb inside of you, forcing the precum out as he continues to thrust. 

“Dean.” I attempt to get off.

He grabs your hips, pulling you back onto his cock. his thrusts are now harder and deeper than before, causing you to moan with pleasure as you struggle to keep balance. you rest my hands on his chest keeping your balance. his cock hits a new spot inside of you, causing you to gasp as he pounds into you from below. he lets out a moan as he continues to fuck you harder and faster, his cock hitting that sweet spot inside of you again and again. you slowly fall into his bare chest, your head resting in the crook of his neck. he groans as he feels his cock hit that sweet spot again. he pounds into you relentlessly, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he gets closer to his climax. his cock twitches inside of you as he lets out a low, animalistic growl. 

“Dean you going to have to pull out.” 

He lets out a grunt as he pulls out of you, his cock still rock hard and dripping. he reaches over and grabs a condom from his bedside table, quickly slipping it on. he lines himself back up with you and slowly thrusts, his hands roaming your body. 

I lift myself back up my arms holding me up on his chest. “finish me off” I smile and kiss him. I start moving my hips while he is inside. 

He groans as he feels your tight, wet pussy clenching around his cock. he thrusts up into you, his cock hitting that sweet spot inside of you. his hands move to your ass, squeezing and kneading your soft flesh. “fuck.” he groans as he feels your walls start to clench around his cock. he thrusts deeper and faster inside of you, causing him to twitch as he gets closer to his climax. he groans as he feels you move your hips against his, the friction sending shivers of pleasure down his spine. he reaches down and starts to play with your clit, his fingers skillfully rubbing and tugging on your sensitive nub. he continues to thrust into you, him sliding in and out of you with ease. he groans loudly as he feels himself getting closer and closer to his climax. his thrusts become more erratic and rough, his hips smacking against your ass with each thrust. you rest yourself back on his chest again, kissing his neck. he moans as you start to kiss and nibble on his neck. your hot breath against his skin is sending him closer and closer to the edge. his hips move with a mind of their own now, he's slamming deep inside you over and over again. he pulls out and flips you over on the bed, thrusting himself inside of you again, but this time his hips are at a different angle. he wraps his arms around you, his fingers digging into your hips as he pounds into you. you moan in pleasure, as you feel him throbbing again. he continues to pound into you, he feels your walls clenching around him again, but he can't hold back any longer. he thrusts deeply inside of you one last time, his cock pulsing as he releases. ‘thank god he had that condom’ I think to myself.

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 smut has left the chat… 

 I turn myself over to face him, and he just stares. his eyes locked. he leans down and kisses your lips passionately. he then moves down to your neck, leaving behind a trail of soft kisses and gentle bites. he takes his time to make sure your body is covered with attention and affection, making sure you feel loved and cherished in every way possible. he lifts his head from your neck and gazes deeply into your eyes, a mix of desire and affection visible in his expression. “you’re so beautiful, sweetheart," he whispers, his voice filled with genuine admiration and adoration. 

“And your damn near sexy.” I smile with a teasing tone. 

He chuckles, his cheeks flushing pink as he playfully taps your nose. “watch it, love. that teasing tone of yours is going to get you in trouble. who knows what I might do."

THE END 

tag list:

@reapertrapsdontwork @k-slla @justanothersam @waywardbaby @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @heradion @itsbuckytm @zepskies @luci-in-trenchcoats-reads @luci-in-trenchcoats @angelbabyyy99

[olenvasynyt]

I have always been uncomfortable with the SF scene where Cassian takes Nesta on the hike, but I didn't fully understand why until my most recent reread. And it is one of the reasons why I am anti-Nessian.

This is a summary of my tiktok video, feel free to check it out, and follow me over there as well if ya want.

So this hike was right after Nesta lashes out and tells Feyre that the baby was going to kill her during the birth, and this was because of her frustration and hate towards Rhys and the IC and how she has been treated.  

Chapter 46 of ACOSF: “Is it respect that she offers you?” Nesta spat.  “Is it respect that your mate offers you?” Feyre went still. … “What do you mean?” “Have any of them told you, their respected High Lady, that the babe in your womb will kill you?” “…I do know that your mate ordered everyone not to inform you about the truth.  Did you all vote on that too?  Did you talk to her, judger her, and deem her unworthy of the truth?”

It broke something in Nesta—broke that rage, that roaring—seeing those tears begin to fall, the fear crumbling Feyre’s paint-smeared face.   She had gone too far.  She..oh, gods.

But as Feyre and Cassian both point out, she saw the parallels between Feyre’s situation and her own, and decided to avenge both of them.  Rhys and Amren were hiding the truth about Nesta’s powers, she knew that a lot of them did not trust her to know the truth about her own body.  

Chapter 47 of ACOSF: I think she saw the parallels between your situations, and, in her own way, decided to avenge both of you. That’s my feeling too.  Rhys disagrees.

I think Feyre’s situation was much more serious than Nesta’s powers being kept from her, but that is also why it was good for Feyre to find out the truth even if the situation was upsetting.  

Cassian was like oh "I’m sorry you found out the baby could kill you" and Feyre was like "I’m not.  I’m mad at you guys for not telling me.  Nesta was the only one brave enough to."

Chapter 47 of ACOSF: “I’m sorry you had to learn of it.” “I’m not.  I’m furious with all of you, I understand why you didn’t tell me, but I’m furious. Well, we’re furious with Nesta. She had the courage to tell me the truth. She told the truth to hurt you. Perhaps.  But she was the only one who said anything. — I wish you’d found out a different way. Well, I didn’t.  But we’ll face it together.  All of us. — I want you to come back home.  Both of you.

I love how Feyre, who is the one was the victim in this moment, was like “I’m not sorry this was how I learned about the baby but I’m glad someone told me.  Rhys overreacted, I calmed him down and I want both of you home.”

Rhys overreacted.  He completely and utterly overreacted. — Rhys had no right to chase you from the city, or threaten Nesta.  He has realized that, and apologized.  I want you to come back home.  Both of you.  

Now kind of going off topic with Rhys threatening to kill Nesta: people get mad at Cassian for not standing up for his mate.  And I can understand that, I also think that’s frustrating and Cassian not standing up for Nesta is something we see often, including the Ember and Randall bonus chapter in HOFAS.  But it can be complicated because a lot of people will defend Cassian like this: Rhys is high lord and it will be very hard to stand up to him as someone who’s not on his level, so of course Cassian couldn’t do anything to defend his mate in this situation.  And yes this is true, and we see a very similar situation between a High Lord and their superior with Tamlin and Lucien in ACOMAF. Lucien tried to stand up for Feyre but couldn’t, and was shut down and abused. 

But if people are going to use this idea to defend Cassian, that he couldn’t stand up and fight his high lord, we have to make this comparison between  Rhys to Tamlin.  And a lot of pro-Rhys people don't like that conversation.

But anyways, this argument cannot be applied to this hiking situation at all, because Feyre mindspeaks with Cassian and says that Rhys overreacted, she isn’t mad at Nesta, all of those things I talked about before.  Feyre says that she wants both of them home but Cassian still brings Nesta to a hike and says he’ll call it a punishment to sort of appease Rhys because he knows Rhys is still mad about the situation.  “Tell Rhys it’s a punishment.”  Rhys was not the victim in this situation, Feyre was, and she was like fuck Rhys!  He was wrong for overreacting!  Nesta was braver than you guys and I want her home.  

Where did you even head off to? The wilderness.  I think we’ll stay out here for a few days.  We’re going on a hike.   Nesta has never been on a hike in her life.  I guarantee she will hate it. Then tell Rhys this is her punishment.  Because Rhys, despite apologizing for his threats, would still be furious.  Tell him that Nesta and I are going to hike, and she’s going to hate it, but she comes home when I decide she’s ready to come home.

But Cassian still brings Nesta on the hike.

And he was definitely doing it for Nesta and to help her work out her thoughts and not solely because of Rhys, but this hike is a terrible way to help a suicidal person work out their thoughts.

This hike pisses me off so much. The way the IC decided to “rehabilitate” Nesta in general pisses me off.  I liken Nesta’s “rehab” to those therapy wilderness camps where people get kidnapped and brought to the middle of the mountains for.  Those rehab camps revolve around forcing people to get to their lowest to rehabilitate, to acknowledge their mistakes, and it is a horrible, abusive system and very often results in resentment at best and death at worst.  And I think Nesta being locked up was the same thing and this hike is the same thing.  One of the several things those rehab boot camps do is force their patients to go on strenuous hikes for multiple days, and when it’s beyond their physical capacity.  It can lead to exhaustion, dehydration, injury, and death.

And one of my least favorite things in this entire book is that when Cassian realizes that Nesta is suicidal, he continues the hike up the rocky cliffs of the Illyrian Steppes with barely any food and even less talk.  He doesn’t look at her or speak to her in days.

It is to force Nesta to get to her lowest moment so she’ll break down.  Exactly like what happens during those rehab camps.  It is forcing her into this breakdown in an unsafe place with no professional help. 

Cassian knew that Nesta often hated herself.  But he’d never known she hated herself enough to want to…not exist anymore. He’d seen her expression when he mentioned the threat of falling. And he knew going back to Velaris wouldn’t save her from that look.  He couldn’t save her from that look, either. Only Nesta could save herself from that feeling.

When I read SF for the first time I was so weirded out by this hike and I couldn’t figure out why.  I do not find these chapters moving or inspiring, I thought they were toxic and sad and I still very much do.  And if I’m going to be honest I felt like I was also being manipulated into getting emotional like how Nesta was.  

And this is where I’m going to get into my criticisms for SJM.  

I don’t know if she realizes this comparison between Nesta’s rehabilitation in general and the boot camps and just, bad, toxic therapy in general.  I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because I think a lot of Silver Flames is about how the Valkyries helped heal Nesta and SJM and their hike during the Blood Rite was so much more inspiring at least for me and was definitely the climax and resolution to Nesta’s healing journey.  SJM illudes to the IC’s biases very often in SF and I thought she was making Nesta’s rehab toxic on purpose, but the reason why I struggle with giving SJM the benefit of the doubt is because she said in an interview that that hike Cassian took Nesta on was inspired by a hike she and her husband went on during a vacation.

I also hate how she adds the idea that the mountains are healing, and there is a voice telling Cassian to keep pushing Nesta forward, “just one more mountain”.  Like no.  This again adds to the comparison of the fucking bootcamps because that is also a tactic they use.

Chapter 48 of ACOSF: The peaks weren’t as brutal and sharp as those in Illyria, but there was a presence to them that he couldn’t quite explain.  Mor had once told him that long ago, these lands had been used for healing. Perhaps that was why he’d come.  Some instinct had remembered the healing, felt this land’s slumbering heart, and decided to bring Nesta here.

This is fantasy, of course, so I am fine with this element of a higher presence that is healing to the characters who are struggling.  And there is the symbolic element of climbing your mountain.  But I need people to stop saying that this is a realistic way to treat people with actual problems in the real world, not only with this hike but also with all of the rehabilitation the IC made her do by locking her up.  I might make a whole other video on that but if Nesta was in the House of Wind because she was addicted to alcohol and fucking strangers and spending money, this is not the professional way to go about it.  

I like a lot of parts during this final breakdown where they talk about forgiving yourself, leaving the past behind.  But I did not like the journey they made Nesta take to get to this point.  Nesta could have very well had this breakdown not on this hike.  

And this part ends with Cassian comforting Nesta. 

“I’ll be with you every step of the way,” he whispered into her palm.  “Just don’t lock me out.  You want to walk in silence for a week, I’m fine with that.  So long as you talk to me at the end of it.”

Like I appreciate this sentiment.  

But, another thing that annoys me is Cassian’s conclusion after this scene

Chapter 50 of ACOSF: “She’d been suffering, and he’d had no idea how much it consumed every facet of her life.  He’d seen her self-loathing and anger—but hadn’t realized how much she’d been aware of it.  To know she’d hurt this much, for so long.

First of all, how would Nesta not know she was aware of her self-loathing and anger?  She had actively talked about it before this moment??? She fucking has. And how did Cassian not know that she had been hurting this much for long long?  I thought he was her mate who understood her?  He talked about her traumas before in ACOWAR.  Plus, I thought she was being rehabilitated.  Helping her get not addicted to alcohol and spending money and having sex?  

There is such a lack of awareness when it comes to the IC and this situation and I get frustrated when readers don’t understand it.  People say that Nesta’s rehab was very serious and complex but no.  It wasn’t.  It is a terrible way to help anyone.  

I think Nesta and Cassian still have to work on a lot to be an actual healthy relationship.  And we saw the issues they still have in the Randall and Ember bonus chapter so I am very curious to see how SJM resolves their issues in future books, if she does so at all.

[rebelliousstories]

Sins of the Father

Relationship: Luke Alvez x Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Request: No

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Fluff

Word Count: 4,992

Main Masterlist: Here

Criminal Minds Masterlist: Here

Summary: When the victim of a crime shows up to a hospital, she only has one name on her lips as she dazes in and out; Luke.

John F. Kennedy said, “Children are the world’s most valuable resource and its best hope for the future.”

Racing inside of a hospital in the blistering cold, there were medics and emergency room staff working desperately on a woman in a stretcher. A small boy who was crying out for his mom from the back of the ambulance. An oxygen mask covered her mouth but she kept trying to speak.

“Get the OR prepped now!” A nurse yelled, running alongside the gurney.

“Luke. Luke!” The woman pulled her mask off and fought with her nurse that was trying to put it back on. People moved out of their way as they ran down the hallways. As they were doing that, a small boy was being led by an EMT to the waiting area to wait with him. A woman in a suit, and a man in a polo showed up to the nurses station and showed their credentials before being pointed over at the waiting room.

“Buddy, I know that you’re scared, but I’m gonna wait right here till the police can show up and help you. Do you want a water?” The EMT tried to get the boy to open up, but he just curled in on himself.

“Excuse me,” the woman gained the attention of the older man, “we’re agents Prentiss and Alvez. May we speak with you for a moment?”

The man went to nod, but his eyes drifted back to the small child next to him. Luke stepped forward and crouched down in front of the small boy. The boy hesitantly looked towards the older man, and looked at him with recognition that the agent did not understand.

“Hey there. I’m Luke. Do you mind if I wait here with you?” He asked softly, waiting for the boy to acknowledge him. But the boy said nothing. The medic was ushered away by Emily, but Luke still sat on the floor in front of the boy to not crowd him in.

“You’re the one who treated the woman that was just admitted?” Emily asked, already going into business mode.

“Yeah. She was in rough shape when we found her and her son. I’ve seen so many things in my years, but if I never saw one of these guys victims again it would be too soon.” He shook his head as he dropped his eyes.

“Can you tell us where you found her? We know there was a 9-1-1 call that led you to an abandoned factory. Was there anything unusual about it?” She pressed. Her feyes flickered over to where her friend was still sitting near the boy.

“Um, she was bound with tape and rope. Her kid was holed up in a closet down the hall.” The man responded.

“This is very important, did you remove anything from her hands? Stamps, coins, even bugs that have been preserved?” Prentiss got her phone ready to make a call with whatever the EMT said.

“Cards. We gave the police a queen of hearts, jack of diamonds, and a uh… oh what was it,” he was thinking hard about what the other card was. “Oh, a king of clubs as well.”

“Thank you. You’ve been a big help.” She let the medic go and turned to where Luke was still trying to get through to the woman’s son.

“Ready and willing for you, my fair lady.” The cheery voice of one Miss Penelope Garcia chimed through the phone.

“Hey girl. Listen, the collector left a set of cards this time. I’m gonna have the Virginia P.D. send them over. But he only left three this time. He didn’t complete the set.” The older agent continued to stare in confusion at the duo in front of her while the clacking of keys filled the other line.

“Why wouldn’t he have completed the set? That’s like his whole thing.” Penelope was also staring confused now.

“I don’t know, but we do know that the three previous victims all had something that they hid and never claimed. Look into our Jane Doe and see if anyone matching her description has gone missing that has a child.” Emily instructed, noticing the smile passing over Luke’s face as the child looked at him again. He still had not said a word but he was responding.

“Oh she has a child? That is awful. Why do bad guys do bad things? Okay, I will see if anyone has gone missing in a tri-state region matching her description that has a child. Farewell fair g-woman!” And the line clicked off. Prentiss smiled but kept her distance from the to men in front of her and just watched them.

“Can you tell me your name bud? If I know your name, I could find out how to better help your mom.” Luke gently pried, finally moving to the chair next to the boy.

“Liam. My mom has a picture of you.” The boy admitted, turning his body fully to the man to his left.

“Okay Liam, what do you mean your mom has a picture of me? Like from the T.V. or computer?” He pried again, confusion forming deep in his face.

“No. In her necklace and in the frame in her drawer. She thinks that I don’t know, but I do.” Liam looked down at his feet as he kicked lightly.

“You’re very smart Liam. Do you know where she got those pictures?” Now, Luke was going away from the main objective.

“She’s had them forever,” he shrugged, “she doesn’t like talking about it with me. Mom just cries late at night. I think that’s why the man gave me this.”

“Gave you what, Liam?” He did not know how that little brain was able to comprehend and process everything that was happening; Luke’s brain was having a difficult time by himself.

“This.” Liam pulled down his shirt and showed something stapled to the inside. Luke helped him flip the edge over to reveal a card. Whipping a glove out of his pocket, Luke was grabbing the card, careful not to cause harm to the child. The name “Luke” stared back at him, which just added more confusion to his mind. The agent looked back to Emily who was calling to get an evidence kit to collect the card. Once the card was collected and sent off to the BAU, Luke continued to sit with Liam as he did not want to leave the boys side.

At the headquarters, Reid stared at the three cards that he currently had and thanked the agent that delivered him the fourth. There was a reason the unsub did not pair all for cards together like he should have. He was known as The Collector; he should have put them all together out of compulsion.

He placed all four cards on a board and just stared at them. This unsub paired the stamps together with years consecutively apart. Coins were in the same pattern, just with earlier years. And the bugs were the oldest but the dates on the back of the frames were earlier, but all together.

“Garcia got a name on our Jane Doe- what are you doing?” JJ asked, walking in to the round table room where Reid was staring at the pictures of items that were found at the scenes of the crime. He did not give her an answer but instead turned to his friend instead.

“I know why he’s choosing what he’s choosing to display. Who’s the latest?” Spencer jumped from thought to thought with surprising speed. Jennifer told him her name, and placed her photo where it needed to go on the board.

“Great. We need to get the team together.” He left to go track down his fellow teammates while JJ just stood there, trying to see what he saw in the pictures. In just a moment, JJ and Spencer stood with Rossi, Lewis, Simmons and Garcia while Alvez and Prentiss were on a conference call.

“I didn’t see it until the card came in, but please indulge me for a moment.” Spencer began, gaining the attention of those around him.

“So, when we’re young, what’s something that we can easily get to collect? Especially young boys?”

“Bugs.” Lewis offered.

“Exactly,” his hands were running wild as he spoke, “then when we’re old enough to make or get money, you usually collect by date. When you’re old enough to write, you might send letters and if you have the collecting tendency, you collect stamps. Finally, when you’re old enough to start playing cards, you might collect cards based off their patterns and designs.” After his explanation, Spencer was looking around and just hoping he had not lost them.

“So he’s telling the story of his life through the collectibles he leaves.” Rossi pointed out, feeling like there was more to be discovered.

“Exactly, but this is where it get’s interesting.” Reid pulled down the cards and laid them on the desk.

“On the front, all four of these cards look similar, however,” the cards were flipped, “on the back, only the two hearts match. The two kings don’t match each other or the hearts. They have completely different appearances.”

The team stood around as they thought about the explanation. It was not until a nurse came by that Luke’s attention was drawn away. He let Emily know that he was going to her, and left the team.

“She’s resting right now. There was some extensive damage but she should make a full recovery. You can go see her now.” The nurse led the way down the hall to where the woman lay in her hospital bed. Alvez thanked the nurse, and she went on her way. He looked in through the glass at the beaten woman inside and felt his throat close. Her voice still ran through his head everyday, even after all this time.

Luke walked inside the room, and let out a shaky breath at he watched her just lying there. She was staring off into nothingness and barely registered that there was another person in the room. With a clearing of his through, the agent brought her attention to him.

“Luke.” She whimpered, tears welling up at the mere sight of him.

“Hey reina.” He whispered, coming over to the side of the bed. She said nothing for a minute, before she finally burst out crying. The pain in her face flared up, yet she could not help but cry.

“I’m sorry, Luke. I’m so sorry.” Her words caused the man to hold her hand delicately as she continued to cry.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, sweetie. You did nothing to deserve this treatment.” Alvez tried to reassure her but she just kept shaking her head and crying.

“It is all my fault. I did this. This is my fault, Luke. I set him off.” Her breathing was starting to pick up and Luke knew he needed to act fast. He had enough of his friends from the army that developed panic attacks after what they saw to know when one was starting.

“You gotta calm down, reina. Breathe, you gotta breathe. Follow me. In and out. There you go. Try it again. Good job. Let’s try it again.” Luke led her through several exercises to help stave off the attack, and was glad to see her heart beat finally calming back down. Once she was able to catch her breath, the woman looked around, and was about to be sent into another tizzy.

“My son. Where’s my son? Where’s Liam?” Even though she tried to get up, the agent did not let her.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. Lay back down. Liam is with my coworker, Emily. They’re just outside in the waiting room.” He reassured her once more. She nodded as she settled back into her bed with Luke at her side.

“So, where are you working now,” came her ask. Her voice was small and weak than he had ever known.

“The Behavioral Analysis Unit at Quantico.” He answered, sitting down in the chair beside her bed.

“BAU, huh? Would have never thought you would go from the FTF to a desk job.” She teased, causing them both to chuckle.

“Hey, don’t wanna hear nothing. Little miss work from home author.” Alvez sent right back, making them chuckle again. But once they died down, the man turned solemn. “I’ve gotta ask some tough questions that I’d much rather not have Liam present for, if that’s okay?”

She nodded and let her self get comfortable in her bed first. Luke readjusted in his seat as well before he began.

“Do you know the man who did this to you?” He asked, watching the woman closely for any sign of discomfort.

“Yeah. My ex-boyfriend, Santiago.” Her eyes shifted away as she answered.

“Wait, Santi did this? I thought he was still in New York.” Luke could not catch a break on the confusion.

“He followed me here. When I broke up with you, Luke, I didn’t want to. But he said he would kill you and my parents if I didn’t. I couldn’t take that chance. He knows where all of you live.” She pleaded, looking back with tears in her eyes.

“It’s fine. You were only doing what you thought was right. Even though, I would have had someone investigate his threats for you. But sweetheart, that was five years ago. What have you been doing all this time? And why would he do this now?” Luke pressed, holding her hand in his own.

“I was taking care of my son. But I was tired of being controlled. I found out that your number hadn’t changed. I guess he found out cause one minute I’m packing Liam’s bag, and the next I’m tied down to a table in an abandoned building.” Her words tumbled out of her mouth uncontrollably.

“When we found Liam in the waiting room, he had a card stapled to his shirt. Now, that’s just his signature, right. Leaving something on his victims that is a collectible. But the cards weren’t collectible. They were all different except for the queen and jack. Two different kings that did not match. Does that have anything to do with Liam?” Luke noticed how she chewed her lip between her teeth and picked at her nails unconsciously. That was always her tell that she was hiding something. Now just what that something was the question. He called her name, and she looked him in the eyes. The woman was wishing that she had not done that.

“Who is Liam’s father?”

A knock at the window caused the pair to pull away and look to the source of the noise. Emily had arrived with Liam, who ran to his mother. Luke helped the young boy up, and followed the agent out of the room to discuss.

“This woman had the most rage shown to her, but not the son. Whoever this guy is, he is getting closer to his end game. But I can’t help feeling like we’re missing something.” Prentiss lamented, noticing how distant Luke was after her little speech.

“What is it?” She pried.

“I know who this guy is. We need protection detail stationed at her door until we catch him. He’ll come back and finish off the job.”

The two agents raced back to Quantico while on the phone with the team to fill them in. Inside the SUV, the air was so thick with tension you could cut it with a knife. Prentiss was not sure what was going on with Luke since they left the hospital, but he was silently staring out of the window. The man was lost in his thoughts as he thought about everything that had happened in the last decade.

When they made their way up the elevator to the sixth floor, Luke was silent through all of that. His next words would not come until he had barged his way into Garcia’s lair. The technical analyst let out a shriek as she was startled by the loud noise.

“Oh hello to you too. What can I do for you mister with the very scary look on his face that tells me something bad is about to happen?” Her voice trailed off as Alvez came to rest his hand on the bak of her chair and look over her shoulder to gaze at the screen.

“Garcia, pull up anything and everything you can on a Santiago Domingo from the Bronx. We went to the same high school. Send it over to the main screen.” Luke left as soon and as fast as he had entered which left the woman to scramble to get his information. Making his way into the round table room, Emily met him in there with determination.

“I got your text. What’s going on that you don’t want to fill the team in about yet? Is this about the latest victim in the hospital?” She wasted no time, and got right down to business.

“Yes,” he admitted with a deep sigh. “I wanted to tell you first before bringing the team up to speed.”

“Floor is yours.” She prompted.

Down in the bull pen, the rest of the agents watched through the blinds as the unit chief spoke with her agent. They were all trying to figure out who this guy was, but was not able to. However, no one missed the DMV photo that was pulled up on the big screen.

“What do you think they’re talking about in there?” Lewis pondered, sipping her coffee. She had lost track as to what number cup she was on for the day.

“Whatever it is, it doesn’t look good.” JJ replied, popping a chip in her mouth as she was finally able to take a break to eat. A noise prompted the rest of the team to turn their heads to the resident genius who was still focusing on the cards that were collected from the scene.

“Your IQ is whining so much I want to give it some cheese. What do you have, Reid?” Rossi teased, prompting a few chuckles.

“The cards. The other mismatched king, the king of spades, that’s the one that had Luke’s name on it but why?” Spencer held a confused look on his face as he tried to piece the puzzle together.

“Maybe the unsub knows Luke and wanted to taunt him. Wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened.” Simmons pointed out, but Reid only shook his head.

“It’s got to be more than that. The queen and jack are from the same suit, and the same deck. But only the kings are different in suit and deck, and they don’t match any other card that was recovered.” He continued his explanation.

“What’s your point?” Rossi asked.

“I’m not sure.” Reid concluded.

“Guys,” Emily stepped out and called their attention, “you’re gonna want to get in here.”

The team shuffled into the room, and all stood around the table while Luke was right in front of the screen. His face was solemn and defeated; a look that did not suit Luke Alvez very well.

“The man we’re looking for was my best friend in high school, Santiago Domingo. We called him Santi. He was a bit of an odd guy, but harmless for the most part. Came from a broken home and was a typical kleptomaniac. Anything he could get his hands on, he took.” Luke took a break and casted his eyes to the table. Having to dig up old memories was hard for him.

“Halfway through senior year there was a girl who transferred to our school. She had all the same classes as me so I got assigned one morning to help her around. I really liked this girl, I mean she was the total package. Smart, pretty, great sense of humor, wanted to help people, already had a job and another more permanent one set up after high school. Well, as time went on and she would hang around me and Santi, I ended up falling for her. I didn’t realize that Santi was in the same boat I was in.’

‘Prom came around and as much as I wanted to ask this girl out, Santi was asking me for advice on how to do it himself. So I helped him. He was the happiest I had ever seen him when she said yes. They made a really lovely couple. After high school, they stayed together. And I saw less and less of her, and anytime I did see her, she was always within arm length of Santi. Then the bruises came.”

Pictures flashed on the screen, and the whole team had to hold their breath. The woman’s face was covered with scrapes and marks. Her arms, chest, legs, hands, and feet were all in the same horrid condition. Garcia averted her eyes as they continued, but everyone else kept watching the slides.

“She reached out to me about twelve years ago, wanting to get out of the relationship but felt like she couldn’t. I got her to go to the police, testify against him in court, and got Santi put away for ten years. Two years later, we started dating once she felt like she could and we were happy. I planned on proposing to her, but before I could, she broke up with me. Left all of her stuff in our apartment, and was gone in the middle of the night. According to prison records, Santi only served four of his ten. Got out on good behavior. According to her, she had to break things off with me, otherwise he would have killed her parents, then me.” Luke concluded. The room was so silent, you could hear everyone’s breathing. No one said anything for a while. They just stood there and stayed silent.

“So how can we help find Santiago?” Emily asked, which pulled everyone else from their stupors.

“Garcia, where was he staying in town? If he’s doing all these murders, he’s got to be staying somewhere isolated that he can plan and execute everything.” Matt directed.

“Right, um. So Domingo’s last known address was…” her face dropped once the search result came back, “an apartment downtown. He’s been living on the same floor as Luke for the past six years.”

“No matter how stupid this guy may be, he’s not stupid enough to keep her, with a child on the same floor as Luke. He’s got to have another spot that he was holding them.” JJ countered, but it all slipped away for Alvez. Six years Santiago had known where he was and knew the routine.

“Look for anything registered in her name. That’s going to be where they’ve been living since leaving Luke.” As soon as Spencer said the magic words, Garcia had her fingers racing across her keys. Another ding.

“Okay so I’ve got an address, also downtown, but about five miles from the apartment. It’s a house registered in her name. They’ve been there for five years.” Penelope looked up at Luke, but he was just staring that table into the ground. If looks could kill, that table would be taking a world of abuse.

“So we go to his house. He was interrupted with her. He’ll wanna regroup before going with his next strike.” Luke made the move to leave the room to get ready but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“Look, Luke. You are far too close to this case. Let us handle it. We need him alive, and with your relationship to the victim, you’ll be a liability.” Rossi gently spoke, as if hushing a cornered animal. The agent turned around and leveled his unit chief with a look. A look that said, “you signing off on this right now?”

“Go stay at the hospital with her until we catch Santiago. You’ll be better suited for that than this.” Emily did not miss the look of indignation that came across Alvez’ face. Even less so when it was paired with the stomping of boots as he stormed away.

Luke obeyed the order though. He drove silently to the hospital, wishing that he was out in the field taking down this guy. Once he was parked and the vehicle was shut off, he hit the steering wheel a couple times to let out his anger at the situation. Scrubbing his hands over his face, Alvez left the vehicle and made his way into the hospital. His team was out there taking down his childhood best friend without him. If anyone should be able to make that arrest, it should be Luke.

He kept thinking about this all the way to her room. And then his mind drifted to her son, Liam. The kid was just five years old and had almost lost his mom thanks to that man. Arriving at her room, Alvez noticed that the blinds were drawn and immediately had a bad feeling in his gut. Placing a hand on his firearm, he went into the room as quietly as possible.

“Thought I wouldn’t notice yo slipping right back into Mr. Perfect’s arms, huh?” It was Santiago. He had found her. Luke should not have been too shocked; Santiago needed to complete the collection.

“Please, don’t hurt us more than you have. Okay? Liam loves you. Don’t do this in front of him.” She was trying to shield her son, but with her condition and being in a hospital bed, that was very difficult.

“Don’t lie to me. I know he isn’t mine.” Santiago growled, waving around a knife.

“Santiago, put it down.” The man in question turned around, but his face relaxed to be almost jovial upon seeing the agent in the room.

“Well, look who we have here. Luke Alvez. Big bad FBI agent who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about where he comes from.” Domingo moved closer to the mother and son in the bed while moving his knife closer and closer. This prompted Luke to draw his gun, and kept it trained on the man in front of him.

“Santi, I don’t want to hurt you but I will. Let them go and drop the knife.” He pleaded, shifting his eyes to her in reassurance.

“Has she even told you,” came the question. When no response was given from anyone, Santiago burst out laughing in his spot. “Oh, she hasn’t. This is too perfect. You’re so clueless man.”

“Santi, please.” She begged, but cowered when the knife came closer to her and her son.

“No! Don’t you think he has the right to know? I mean, you wouldn’t be so heartless as to keep that from him would you?” He was teasing her, and still waving a knife around her son.

“Go on, tell him. You’ll feel better.” Santiago kept repeating the prompt over and over again, but she refused. Instead, she held her son close and waited for the nightmare to be over.

“Tell him!” He shouted, yanking Liam from his mom’s grasp. Both people cried out and tried to get to the other, but Santiago had other plans. With a knife held menacingly over the boys stomach, he prompted the woman again. This time much gentler. “Tell Luke.”

She looked at her son, who had tears coming down his face. He looked just as confused as the agent that she laid her eyes on next. Her vision was obscured by the tears that were pouring down her face as she tried to figure a way to get her son back.

“Luke, when I left to go to Santi, I was pregnant. I told him for years that Liam was his, but when he started growing proper hair, I couldn’t lie anymore. Liam is your son, Luke. I’m so sorry I hid that from you.” Her wails were overshadowed by Santiago’s whoops in delight.

“Doesn’t that feel so much better. How about you Luke? Feel any better knowing the truth?” Santiago teased again. The agent kept his gun and eyes hardened on the man but was quietly processing the information.

“Now where were we?” He raised his knife up as if to swing, and Luke did not think about it another second. Landing a bullet in the man’s shoulder, the agent swooped in and kicked the knife away from him as he grabbed the boy and hoisted him up. Santiago was writhing in agony on the ground, blood steadily pouring out, but Luke did not care. He set the young boy on the bed, and called it in.

In just a few minutes, his entire team was there. Luke kept himself busy for the time being with giving a statement, getting Santiago out of the room and filling his unit chief in. Thirty minutes later, he finally caught a long enough break to go back into the room where mother and son rested. Even though they were lying down, neither was too terribly tired. When she heard the door click, she waved the man over to sit on the chair beside them. Keeping a hand on the boy, she reached her other hand out to hold Luke’s.

“Was that true? What you said earlier.” He asked, begging for confirmation.

“Every word. He’s yours, Luke. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but he wouldn’t let me reach out to you once we knew for certain.” Liam sat up and faced the adults talking.

“Hey buddy. I’m your dad.” Luke choked out as tears came to his eyes. Without another word, Liam launched himself into his awaiting arms as Alvez cried. Bringing her into the fold, they all sat there crying and finally being together as a family.

“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” Charles R. Swindoll

[regressionschool]

Little Haven: Springbreak Chapter 3

Miss Emma smiled warmly at Tim before heading off to fetch his lunch. "I'll be right back with your food, Timmy. You get to know your new friends."

Tim watched her leave, feeling a bit nervous but also excited about talking to Sophie. He turned back to her, and she was still smiling brightly at him.

"So, Tim," Sophie began, swinging her legs under the table. "Is this your first time here?"

"Yeah, it is," Tim admitted, feeling the warmth of her friendliness. "I just got here today."

"Wow! That's so cool!" Sophie exclaimed. "I'm here every day while my daddy is at work."

Tim was taken aback by her casual mention of being at the daycare daily. "Really? Every day? What does your daddy do for work?"

Sophie's face scrunched up in confusion, her pigtails bobbing as she tilted her head. "Work? Um... he does... grown-up stuff. I'm not really sure."

Tim chuckled at her innocent answer. "Oh, okay. What did you do before coming here every day?"

Sophie brightened up, clearly understanding this question. "When I was a big kid, I worked as a barista at a coffee shop. But then my daddy rescued me from that, and now I get to be a little girl all the time!"

Tim was intrigued. "Rescued you?"

"Yeah!" Sophie said with a big smile. "I don't have to pretend to be a boy or worry about adult stuff anymore. It's so much more fun being a little princess!"

Tim nodded, understanding a bit more about Sophie's life. "I go to college," he said, thinking about his own responsibilities.

Sophie's eyes widened in surprise. "College? What's that?"

"It's, um, a place where big kids go to learn like a school," Tim explained, realizing how complicated it sounded.

Sophie looked Tim up and down, her eyes lingering on his shortalls and the slight bulge of his diaper. She giggled, covering her mouth with her hand.

"You don't look like you're big enough to go to school," she said with a mischievous grin.

Tim blushed deeply, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement. "I-I am, really," he stammered. "It's just that... well, I needed a break from being big."

Sophie giggled again, clearly enjoying his discomfort. "Well, you sure don't look anything like a big boy now. But that's okay! Being little is way more fun."

Tim couldn't help but smile at her playful teasing. "Yeah, it is," he admitted, relaxing a bit more.

Miss Emma returned with a tray in each hand, her smile warm and reassuring. She set Tim's tray in front of him first, revealing a plate of pancakes already cut up into bite-sized pieces and a very blunt fork. The syrup was drizzled in a smiley face, adding a touch of whimsy.

"Here you go, Timmy," Miss Emma said gently, patting his head. "Enjoy your lunch."

She then placed Sophie's tray in front of her. Sophie's pancakes were whole, accompanied by a regular knife and fork. Miss Emma glanced back at Tim. "I'll be right over there if you need anything," she said, pointing to a highchair where a little was already fussing for her attention. She left them to take care of the other little, who was eagerly waiting for her feeding.

Tim picked up his fork, feeling a bit self-conscious about his meal being pre-cut. Sophie, on the other hand, seemed unfazed as she started cutting her pancakes with practiced ease.

"These pancakes are the best," Sophie said between bites. Tim took a bite of his pancakes and had to agree—they were delicious. "Yeah, they are really good."

Sophie looked at him with a twinkle in her eye. "So, Tim, what do you like to do for fun?  When you are not pretending to be a big boy at school "

Tim blushed again at Sophie’s playful teasing, but he couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I like reading, playing video games, and sometimes writing,” he said, taking another bite of his pancakes. “I’m studying journalism in college, so I do a lot of writing.”

Sophie’s eyes widened with interest. “Journalism? What’s that?”

“It’s about telling stories and reporting on things that happen in the world,” Tim explained, trying to make it simple. “Like writing news articles or making videos about important events.”

Sophie scrunched up her nose in thought as she pondered what Tim had said. “Important things, huh? Like when Tykables changed how their unicorn diaper looks?”

Tim chuckled, finding her enthusiasm for such a seemingly small change endearing. “Yeah, I guess that’s important in its own way. Do you wear Tykables?” he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Sophie nodded, grinning. “Sometimes! They’re really cute. But I wear pull-ups during the day too, especially when I’m running around and playing a lot. Daddy says it’s good to have both options.”

Tim smiled, appreciating Sophie’s openness. “That makes sense. It’s nice to have choices.”

“Do you always wear diapers, Timmy?” Sophie asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

Tim hesitated, feeling a bit shy about discussing it. “Well, I decided to wear them for my stay here. It helps me feel more like a little and less like a big kid who has to worry about everything.”

Sophie giggled, giving him an understanding look. “I get it. Sometimes it’s nice to just be taken care of and not worry about making it to the potty.”

Miss Emma returned to check on them, carrying a sippy cup of milk for Tim and a regular cup for Sophie. She placed the sippy cup in front of Tim, making him blush again. “Here you go, Timmy. I thought you might like some milk with your pancakes.”

“Thanks, Miss Emma,” Tim said, accepting the sippy cup. He took a sip, feeling oddly comforted.

Sophie grinned at him, while grabbing her cup with both hands. “Don’t worry, Tim. You’ll get used to it.”

Tim nodded, feeling grateful for Sophie’s kindness. “Yeah, I guess I will.”

[latteandjacks]

//TW: Sexual harass mention (Not from Blitz), pressuring into having sex (From Blitz)//

Idk but I feel like the Helluvaboss fandom is REEEAAAALY like REEEEEAAAAAAAALLY forgetting Blitz was the one to actually pressure Stolas into fucking

And now HEAR ME OUT because I don't intend to say that Blitz is the only one in the wrong or that he's the abuser, Stolas is also wrong Blitz started it, which was his mistake (and I'll explain why) while Stolas didn't try to stop it soon and instead, proposed the deal, but there's more behind that proposition than we might think initially

In The Circus we get to see how Blitz got the book from Stolas, and I think most people remember more this one scene because it was the very start of it, probably because it was unexpected, and the early blush didn't help

Now I want you all to remember that he had just drink a whole bottle of whatever strong shit his butler gave him in one go and who knows how many other he drank And also the fact that he proceeded to do... Zero moves He turned on candles and put on music (That could very well not be in-universe and just background music) but stayed pretty much away from Blitz, and even mentions that he could've visited if he wanted too, putting more emphasis in that he only wished to see him and this whole thing isn't his primary reason

"Like yeah fucking would be nice I guess but also I want to know about your life and ask how you doing"

Like he was clearly just playing and not taking it seriously, and at much he believed it would only stay into some casual flirting

That summarizes it all, "ONE would think" sound like a "It looks like you want to do this" and not a "I'm expecting you to do this"

He then sits Blitz down and ask him about how he's been and how is work doing, leaving aside the sex topic and focusing on just spending time with him after two decades

Now here's the reason as to why I say Blitz kind of pressured him into having sex, and I want you all to remember, Stolas was DRUNK and also very, very confused

Like he literally jumped off as soon as possible out of the couch and tried to tell Blitz that he didn't actually want it, it was Blitz who kept making moves and when Stolas almost noticed the book missing he bite him Ofc Stolas got into it very quickly (When they were in bed he seemed to be considering it before getting distracted by the missing book), but it's the fact that prior that he was unsure about actually doing it (An unsure yes is still a no)

So while Stolas joked about it, Blitz actually went through with it So let's see:

Stolas jokes about Blitz sneaking in saying that it looks like he wants to fuck him

Blitz actually fucked him and showed nothing but intention to fuck him in his point of view

He left next morning with his book in hand without saying goodbye

With that in mind, his poor experience on relationships and the implication that he was S/Ad by Stella to have Octavia and that was her only reason to fuck him, he just assumed Blitz only thought about sex, and so he proposed the deal because he thought it was something HE wanted to. Now now, this is where Stolas is also wrong, he did not ask if he wanted to do it, but assumed is what he wanted, which is the reason of the horniness and the petnames until Ozzies where he wants to actually build up a better relationship with Blitz and tries to show him that he cares

They're both very in the wrong and have been since the very beginning (Like, again, Blitz pressured Stolas into playing pirates when they were kids, nice foreshadowing HB team)

"Oh but he enjoyed it" yes he did but that still doesn't change the fact that he was more pressured than anything and ended up just going along with it and the alcohol played a part on it

[arkhamabyssfiles]

Arkham Abyss Files: Red Hood Memory II

LOADING FILE...

“I nearly flunked arts. Music I was fine, mostly because I was part of the choir,” Helena said.

“Seriously?” Jason asked incredulously. “How do you flunk arts?”

“It doesn’t interest me.” She shrugged. “I have better things to do and learn. It’s a waste of time–in my opinion.”

“You think beauty is a waste of time?” Jason asked, almost scandalized.

Helena turned bored eyes at him, “Yes. So what?”

“What—? How can you think that when you live surrounded by beautiful things?”

“They’re objects, what does it matter how they look if they accomplish a function?”

Jason couldn’t believe he of all people had to explain to this sinic Princess why beauty was important. Because he was sure she had all her life lived seeing places full of wonderful beautiful things, using pretty clothes, riding gorgeous cars—

Then he laughed a bit snidely. Of course, she had never known what it was to live without it.

“Maybe you should try wearing cheap used clothes or a deadbeat car. Or perhaps returning home to a place with no windows, no sunlight, and when you get out–there’s nothing green, no flowers, no color beyond the faded ad in a pan card selling you some brand that doesn't even exist anymore.”

Helena's expression didn't change much, the only thing he could note at least was a glint in her eyes that made her look far off, and he wondered at that. So far, she'd been amicable and annoyingly teasing.

“Are flowers and trees beautiful?” She asked.

Jason frowned, “Of course!”

“Well, I don’t like flowers. I do like trees, but I don't think of them as beautiful.”

“You don’t like flowers? What kind of Princess are you?”

At this, Helena laughed. And how could she not understand how a beautiful smile soothed some of the world’s darkness? Or maybe she didn’t want to see it for some reason…

“Princess? You think I’m a princess?” She asked.

Jason flushed a little, “Well—you are. Even Bruce is called ‘Prince of Gotham’.”

“Yeah. You’re right. Maybe I do am one. A princess who doesn’t like flowers nor cares for pretty things. I guess I’m a lousy princess then.”

“What about sunrises and sunsets? Everyone gets inspired by that.” Jason tried.

“They mark part of the day.” Helena turned her hand, indicating the passing of time.

“Dresses and shoes?” Girls liked those, right?

“Only if I need to use them and I prefer comfortable shoes.” She shot back, bored.

“How about music? Didn't you say you were in a choir?”

“I did. Out of—a promise of sorts. I have a good voice and others like to listen to it.”

“See? That inspires people because it's beautiful and soothing—assuming you do have a pretty voice,” Jason probed at her.

Helena shot him a mocking glance, “I’m not that lousy of a princess. I do have a nice enough voice.”

“Right,” Jason said dryly.

“But I wouldn’t care if I didn't.”

“What if you were ugly?”

“Oh, you think I'm beautiful?” She asked very pleased and walked towards him. Jason immediately put his arms up and stepped back.

“You are beautiful by human standards. It’s not a matter of opinion.”

“Pooh!” Pooh? Who talked like that in modern times? “So boring. So what if I was ugly? As long as I could still help others, who cares?”

“Believe me, many people care about not being beautiful enough.”

“Then they should make up by working on making their insides better.”

Jason rolled his eyes, “Only a pretty person would say that.”

“Too many people care too much for appearances,” She countered.

“Well, yes. But that's not the point. Beautiful and true things that transcend this world are what make it worth living if it was all ugly and depressing humans would’ve disappeared long ago.”

“You’re talking now about immaterial things—”

“No,” Jason paused and amended, “Not only about those—I really don’t understand that deep shit that much. I’m talking about sunsets, flowers, a good book, calligraphy, music—even if there’s a lot of trash music nowadays.”

Helena laughed again and stepped close to him again, her hands entwined behind her back. This time, Jason didn't step back, knowing full well that this was a tactic of hers to make him fumble or lose the line of reasoning he was on. Once she was nearly on his face, and her dark blue slanted eyes shining with mischief were so close he could count her long eyelashes if he wanted, she said softly.

“You aren’t convincing me.”

Jason huffed and ignored his slightly accelerated heartbeat. He looked up at the clock. It wasn’t that late, so if they went to sleep now, they could get up early in the morning before sunrise.

“Fine. Meet me in the garden at six a.m.”

“Ah! Are you asking me on a date already? And here I thought you didn’t even like me!”

Jason narrowed his eyes, put his index finger on her forehead, and pushed her back.

“It just annoys me to see someone so blind,” He said and then flickered her forehead.

“Ow!” She hissed and rubbed her forehead then glared a bit at him. “Fine, I’ll see you there, Knight of beautiful things!” Helena said, then stuck out her tongue, turned around, and ran out of the library.

Jason sighed and shook his head. She was a handful.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sunrise still was thirty minutes away, so it was plenty dark to still see the stars—at least in the opposite direction of Gotham with its perpetual shining. Luckily it was a rare February sky that was devoid of clouds. Helena wasn’t that happy of following, even if she had shown on her own. They were both sitting on one of the brick planters that held some rosebushes. 

“It’s cold,” She complained and buried herself deeper in her thick purple coat.

Jason rolled his eyes, “You won’t die, Princess.”

Helena humphed and scooted closer to him until she was stuck to his side, “Share your warmth then.”

As she had made the effort to be out here in the cold early dawn, he complied and didn’t move away from her. She sniffled and asked, “So what’s the great thing that will change my mind?”

Jason sighed and pointed toward the starry sky.

“Stars?”

“Just be quiet for a moment. Imagine there’s nothing else but what it’s in front of you right now. It’s just you and the sky.”

Minutes passed in silence then Helena broke it again, “I still don’t see it.”

Jason sighed, “I guess you’re a lost case then. You’ll live the rest of your days in a very dull way.”

“It doesn’t matter as long as I do what I can to help others to the best of my ability,” Helena defended. “As dull as my free time may seem to you.”

“That’s fine. Just don’t talk to me in public.”

Helena laughed, “You’re horrible! At least do you know some constellations?”

Oh well, even if he’d failed to prove his point, he was having fun at least. Then Jason proceeded to point out the few ones that could be made out, it wasn’t long before the first rays of the sun gently erased them from the sky. Helena said some stupid joke about shooting stars getting arrested and Jason laughed despite himself. His eyes turned to Helena, now that there was some light he could make out her expressions more clearly, and right now she was staring at him—with attentive eyes, and her lips were slightly parted. Then she blinked and looked ahead, towards the sunrise and all its colorful hues.

Then Jason saw a shine in her eyes and knew she was admiring the view now.

“Not so bad, huh?” He said.

“I guess—” Helena sent a quick look his way then back in front– “it’s not so bad,” She reluctantly admitted. Then she added quietly, “My Mom was beautiful. Even when she died.”

END OF MEMORY... For more FILES check previous entries...

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

New Taskmaster lineup announcement! That’s fun, isn’t isn't it? Let’s go over some of the new people.

I first learned the news the day after I booked tickets to see Emma Sidi in Edinburgh this summer, so that was good timing. I booked those because I like her in some other people’s Radio 4 things, she was good in Pls Like, she does amusing characters on YouTube, I read some good things about her stand-up show this year for which she’s currently doing WIPs, and she hangs out with Rose Matafeo so she has to be all right, hasn’t she? Oh, and I’ve spent too much time trying to get my hypocrisy-averse brain to reconcile my dislike of the dominance of socio-economically elite institutions over the arts, with how many of my favourite comedians were in Cambridge Footlights. I’ve done the work of reconciling that already, I may as well use it a few more times.

I'm much less pleased about Jack Dee, but it could be worse. I’m pretty strongly biased against Jack Dee because one of the first things I ever saw him do was be on the QI Girls Versus Boys episode, which was the first episode of QI to ever feature two entire women. They had Ronnie Ancona on with Sandi Toksvig, and they discussed gender-based topics, and it was terrible. A lot of Fry-era QI was pretty bad; panel shows got a lot funnier when they invented diversity in 2014. Also Stephen Fry is annoying and Sandi Toksvig should be Prime Minister, but I’m getting off topic here.

The point is that the first time QI had two women on at a time, it was so they could make those two women listen to a bunch of gender essentialist bullshit that they used as answers to the gender-related questions. At one point, Stephen Fry explained that the gender pay gap isn’t real because women play fewer sets than men in professional tennis. One of the questions was “Why are there more men than women on panel shows?”, and I thought the answer would involve one of the 300 levels of casual and institutionalized sexism that women tripped over on the path from making jokes on the playground to getting spots on television comedy shows. Nope. The answer Stephen Fry was looking for was “according to an American study”, audiences don’t find women as funny as they find men.

Through this, Ronnie Ancona in particular did a great job of walking the very thin line between trying to point out a bit of the bullshit, while not being the "argumentative feminist", and being funny at the same time so she’s not a killjoy feminist proving that women aren’t funny. She did this funny riff about female comedians locked in a paddock, and then she went back and forth with Sandi a bit about it, in literally the first moment in QI history of passing the Bechdel test, and Sandi started to say something about how rare and nice it is that she gets to sit next to a woman on a panel show, and Jack Dee interrupted Sandi mid-sentence to ask whether the reason they don’t have more women on panel shows is “once you get them started they don’t shut up”.

Now, obviously he was joking. The gruff, curmudgeonly persona is his thing, and this was meant to be part of that. But he got in a lot of "joke" sexist comments throughout that whole episode, a lot more than anyone else did even though this episode was essentially dedicated to comedic sexism. It doesn’t help that the YouTube comments are full of people unironically agreeing with Jack Dee’s comment that women don't shut up.

I saw this relatively early in my time watching all the long-running panel shows, so that was the lens through which I saw all Jack Dee's other appearances, and maybe because of that bias, I noticed that he interrupted women a lot on panel shows, and picked a lot of inappropriate moments for sexist jokes, often aimed at women in general on an all-male episode, or at the only woman in an episode, always a woman who was used to always being the one woman on panels and hearing jokes like that constantly. But at least when most of the men made those jokes they’d have laugh to suggest they didn’t mean it, Jack Dee would just glare at the women like it was their fault. And yeah, being grumpy is his persona, but he would sometimes break that and have a laugh with the men. Never women.

I don’t even mind a good ironically sexist joke. Honestly, I probably mind them less than I should. I enjoy a lot of comedy where a better feminist than me would reasonably say “irony is not a good enough excuse for how offensive this is”. I know irony is used to mask genuine bigotry and I hate that, but also, if I’m convinced enough that the person isn’t masking genuine bigotry, I can laugh at some pretty harsh stuff. You need to build up some cred before I’ll trust you with sexist jokes. If Nish Kumar went on a panel show and said all women should shut the fuck up, I’ll be pretty sure he’s kidding and it’s all right. But if Jack Dee has enough feminist cred to make those jokes okay, then I sure haven’t heard about it.

Also, Jack Dee showed up on Catsdown a lot and did the grumpy thing similar to Sean Lock, but was much much less funny about it, and yet everyone else on the show treated him like he was hilarious, and that annoyed me. Also, after Sean died, Jack Dee sat in for him as a guest team captain once, doing his significantly less funny version of Sean Lock's shtick (yeah it was probably Jack Dee's shtick first, I don't care), and I had a strong visceral reaction of

All right, that is way more words that I’d meant to write about Jack Dee. Honestly, after all that, he’s probably not that bad. He was mildly funny in Josh Widdicombe’s mildly funny sitcom. I heard some of his recent stand-up recently, and a bit of it made me laugh. I just don’t like him because I saw him on too many panel shows.

Babatunde Aleshe I know almost nothing about, except that he’s supposed to have been particularly good on Off Menu once (I wouldn’t know, don’t do food shows), and sometimes he does reality TV. I’ve seen him on Catsdown and WILTY and Rhod Gilbert’s Growing Pains, where he was never particularly memorable, but he was probably fine. I hope he’s entertaining.

And then there’s seat number five, and that’s sure an interesting one. Of course I'd thought about Rosie Jones as a potential Taskmaster contestant before, but I didn't expect it to happen. Not that I didn't expect them to have any physically disabled people. They've had Jonnie Peacock and Lenny Rush and one of these days they’re definitely going to cast Adam Hills and he’ll win and then Australia will annoyingly pull ahead of Canada in the competition for who has the most UK Taskmaster champions (it’s currently 2-2). But all those people are able to do most of Taskmaster without disability accommodations. I didn't expect them to cast someone who'd need significant accommodation.

Having said that, I was very happy to see they’d proved me wrong and are, in fact, going to do that. I think she’ll be great. There are lots of ways to make Taskmaster accessible – just because I thought they wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean I thought they couldn’t.

Rosie Jones’ style of humour will go great on Taskmaster. Some recent seasons have lacked a bit of spark of contestant interaction in the studio, and Rosie Jones is always going after people. She won’t leave anyone alone, which I think will work great on the show. She can be the chaotic wildcard ball of energy that Taskmaster needs to really get going. And she is very funny. That’ll be great. I'm excited to see her get into it with Greg and Alex as well as the other contestants. And to see her yell at people when anything happens during tasks.

So that’s the new lineup announcement. Have I covered everyone? I think that's all the important stuff. It’s good to have the lineup out there.