#this is temporary. i am healing. this will be fine.

[books-and-catears]

Solomon: Hey guys I'm here to pick up MC today, are they done helping you sort your daily chaos?

Satan: You're rather late. Their designated time to leave is 2 hours ago.

Solomon: Wait...MC changed their hours? Since when?

Belphegor: Since you went on that Ocean trip or whatever.

Lucifer: But MC did say it's only a temporary thing and they seemed really occupied with something so we eventually allowed it...

Asmo: Yeah but we were so not happy about it! Just what happened on that trip, Solomon?!

Solomon: But if MC left for home then I should have seen them on the way...

Leviathan: Lol ask Mammon where they are, he's constantly stalking MC.

Mammon: Am not, ya liar!

Solomon: I see you have decidedly ignored the last conversation we had regarding MC.

Mammon: Damnit he's back with that creepy smile again!

Solomon: Which way did MC go, Mammon?

Mammon: Jeez overprotective much!? MC can handle themself you know-

Solomon: Mammon.

Mammon: Jeez okay okay, they just walk by the Devildom beach practicing some sort of water magic with the ocean I don't know! But I assure MC is fine! Also don't tell I told you please!

Solomon: The ocean...

Solomon: There you are, MC.

MC: I- How did you- Who snitched on me?!

Solomon: I'm sorry I promised not to reveal his identity.

MC: Damnit Mammon.

Solomon: Ahaha looks like me not revealing it didn't help at all. So...what is it you're doing here, hmm?

Solomon: ...why?

MC: Remember when you told me your magic had potent destruction and attack powers useful in battle...

MC: I started training my powers to make strong shields and better healing.

Solomon: Yes..

MC: Well after what you told me on that trip, I'm...trying to get the Ocean's blessing.

Solomon: ....

MC: I know you cant get rid of your curse and I know you have enough magic to not care about it anymore...but that trip was the first time I'd seen you... afraid. I hated it.

MC: So I'm trying to restore and help with anything that's broken or cursed in there. A lot of fish helped bring random artefacts to the shore which I have been working on...and I finally got the blessing today.

MC: So no you longer have to be afraid or even uncertain down there.

Solomon: ...you turn my shortcomings...into your strengths?

MC: I aim to be your perfect complement when it comes to magic. So that if we ever have to fight - we'll have all bases covered. And nothing can pose a threat to us.

Solomon: *hugs them tight* And I thought I was supposed to be protecting you, MC.

MC: *smiles* The protector needs to be protected too.

[thatonebirdwrites]

Cheating Death Part 2

Part 1 here.

Only seconds after Lena vanished in the portal, the Kryptonite cage melted into the floor. A yellow light pulsed so brightly, Kara had to close her eyes. Light infused her cells and pushed the pain of the Kryptonite away.

Lena's words echoed in Kara's head. How she'd stomped and shouted, the tears on her face, the desperation in her voice. How heartbroken she'd been when she'd said, "No, no you don't get to tell me who I am anymore."

She didn't know what to do. Lena had been hurting and grieving this entire time, and what had she and her friends done? Celebrated her brother's death, ignored Lena's increasingly isolating behaviors, and pretended everything was fine.

It wasn't fine.

Yet, the yellow light. Why had that activated? Was it Lena or the Fortress?

Kara ran through the Fortress to the control panel. She dug into the log and swiftly found Lena's code. It had been programmed to create the cage if Kara asked about Myriad, but then the yellow light was also programmed to heal Kara after Lena escaped. A note was annotated on that section of the code, and Kara's breath caught in her throat.

"I wish I could stop loving you. This hurts worse than death."

Tears dampened her cheeks and she wiped them away. What would she tell Alex? How can she explain any of this?

She didn't want her friends to turn on Lena, and Alex definitely would go after Lena if she knew about the cage. It'd been temporary, and Lena had programed a healing sun-bed equivalent burst for after. That alone gave her hope that she could still reach Lena.

Because even in her heartbreak, Lena did not want Kara dead.

She grabbed the weapon she needed, the same one Lena had used to stop Leviathan from killing Kara, and re-calibrated security. Her tears froze on her cheeks by the time she finished.

Kara flew out of the Fortress and high into the stratosphere. She listened for Lena's heartbeat, but heard nothing at first. Fear clenched her heart. Either Lena hid behind lead, or something terrible had gone wrong since she'd left. She hoped it was the former.

With a heavy heart, she flew to the DEO. Alex waited on a balcony.

"Kara?" Alex said, alarmed. "What the hell happened? Where's Lena?"

Kara held out the weapon. "It works as hoped. Sustained blast will keep Rama Khan down, and then attach the power dampeners."

Alex took the weapon with a frown. "Kara, what happened to Lena? Where is she?"

Kara shook her head. She couldn't voice it. She refused to believe Lena was lost to them. There had to be a way to save her, to bring her back, to repair what Kara had fucked up.

She pressed her hands against her face and flinched when Alex tried to touch her shoulder. "I got to find her," she whispered. "I got to make things right. I got to."

"Kara, I can't help if you don't tell me." Alex's voice held kindness, but Kara knew how quickly Alex could turn to anger. When it came to Kara's safety, Alex might cross a line she'd regret. Kara had done it for Alex a few times.

But with Lena? Kara had no boundaries. Lena held her heart in a way no one else did. She'd talked herself into settling for Mon-el, but it'd never been who she needed.

She needed Lena.

"Kara?" Alex tried again. "Kara, talk to me."

"She's the one who shot Lex." The words felt unreal.

Alex's brow wrinkled. "I thought he died when he fell."

Kara shook her head. "We never found a body or even parts from his suit, remember? If he had a portal watch, he could have gone anywhere."

Alex sucked in a breath. "And Lena was waiting for him?"

Kara nodded. "She shot him to protect us. She's been grieving and hurting all this time, and what have we done? Ignored her grief! Where were we for her pain?" She paced the balcony as fury at herself and everyone around her built up in her sternum. "I hurt her! I hurt her with my lies, and I have to fix this."

"Kara," Alex hefted the weapon. "Maybe let Lena have her space. We still have to deal with--"

"Alex, you didn't hear her!" Her pacing quickened and a groove appeared in the concrete from her superspeed.

Kara should tell Alex, and yet she couldn't. She needed to save Lena from Myriad herself, but to do that, she needed to find Lena. And she still couldn't hear her heartbeat.

She let out a shout of rage, her fist colliding with the wall and shattering the concrete. "I hurt the person I love! I have to fix this. I have to bring her back."

Her rage petered into sobs, and she fell to her knees.

Her, the strongest and fastest on the planet, brought to her knees by a Luthor.

She thinks of all the times she could have told Lena, and how she'd chickened out, afraid of losing her. Afraid of living a life without Lena's presence. Now a Lena-shaped hole had been carved in her chest, and she hurt.

It felt like Kryptonite all over again.

Was this how Lena had felt the past few months? This agony?

And yet, Lena had still helped. She'd still saved Kara's life. Still built devices that helped others. Why Myriad? Why use that monstrous device? Kara couldn't make sense of it. The months of pretending to be Kara's friend.

She should be angry at Lena. Furious at the betrayal, but she felt only grief. She'd started this with her lies, with leaving Lena in the dark. Lena could have helped so much more if she'd been in on it from the start. Then this never would have happened.

Kara sat there, silent, head-bowed long enough for Alex to leave and return with a cup of herbal tea. Rooibos since most other teas were too intense thanks to Kara's supertaste. Her fingers curled around the warm cup.

"I tasked Brainy and J'onn with the weapons. We'll deal with Leviathan." Alex smiled and squeezed Kara's shoulder. "You do what you need to do, Kara. I'm with you, okay?"

Kara nodded numbly. She sipped the tea and slowly became aware of a high-pitched beeping. "Wait, that's the signal watch," she murmured. She put down the cup and listened. It came from downtown. "Lena," she whispered.

Before Alex could respond, Kara blasted into the sky and broke the sound barrier. The crack whipped across the city and shook windows. She landed on Lena's balcony at L-Corp, ripped open the door, and dashed into a dark room. The beeping came from the stairwell.

Horror twisted her gut. She supersped down the stairs, all forty-three flights, until she reached the stairs just below ground level near the door to security.

She threw open the door and the thick scent of iron assaulted her nose.

Eve lay in a pool of blood, no heartbeat. Someone dressed in black lay crumbled near Eve, again no heartbeat. Blood coated the stairs from where Lena must have crawled.

Lena, her Lena, lay motionless, one hand on the top step. For a horrifyingly long second, Kara couldn't hear a heartbeat. She dropped next to Lena and pressed her fingers against Lena's pulse point.

No, there it was.

A faint badum-badum, the most precious sound in the universe.

She could do nothing for the others, but she still had a chance to save Lena. A scan of her body revealed the bullet in her side, how it pierced a lung.

Kara gathered Lena into her arms, and ran through the security sector, hitting each door with her shoulder to wrench it open, until she finally made her way outside.

Lena's blood soaked into her suit, her head rolling in Kara's arms. She held her close and flew as fast as she dared toward the DEO. "Lena, please," she whispered, "please hold on. Don't you dare die on me. Not now. Not like this."

When her feet touched down, she heard Alex's voice shouting about a Rama Khan sighting. Agents poured into vehicles, and the team prepared to leave.

Kara ignored them. She walked through the bustle, and people parted for her.

Alex turned from where she studied Brainy's screens. Her eyes widened. "What the hell...?"

"Please. Help her." Tears clouded her vision.

"Medical now. Brainy J'onn's in charge." Alex grasped Kara's arm and maneuvered her through the mess of the control center. Technicians worked on last minute fine-tuning of weapons, and others manned screens plotting possible vectors. Activity that meant nothing to Kara, not if Lena died.

Not if she couldn't speak her last truth to Lena.

She laid Lena on the medical bed, and Alex ordered her nurses to get an IV in immediately. Kara began to pace, the blood drying on her suit. Alex cut away Lena's shirt and examined the wound.

"She needs surgery now."

"What do I do?" she asked Alex, anguished. "What do I do?"

Alex shook her head. "You can't help with this. Go help J'onn, and wear Lena's anti-kryptonite suit. I'm not sure how long I'll be in surgery."

"Can you save her?"

"I will try my best," Alex said. She refused to look at Kara, and that told her far too much.

Alex didn't think Lena would make it.

"Promise?" the words came out small, plaintive.

"Promise. Now get out of my way." Alex hooked the IV bag to the pole on one end of the bed, and rolled it toward an interior suite. Two nurses followed along with a second doctor.

Kara closed her eyes and listened to the most beautiful heartbeat in the universe -- it faintly hung on, slower and slower with each passing minute.

She couldn't stay and watch the medical team open up Lena. She couldn't.

Instead, she grabbed the anti-kryptonite suit. As it flowed over her, she almost wept again. It felt like Lena hugged her, the suit entirely her design and her nanites.

She flew outside and listened for J'onn. The fight was to the southeast by the docks.

Hadn't Leviathan been targeting Lena? She'd saved her once from them already. Maybe twice if she counted the break-in that had knocked Lena unconscious.

Now Lena was dying, and Kara didn't just want justice for Lena.

She wanted to tear apart whoever ordered that assassin.

The windows shook at the sonic boom, and the ground cratered when she landed.

Rama Khan and another Leviathan member battled J'onn and Dreamer, who had the weapon from the Fortress. Agents, with adjusted weaponry to match the power-disrupting frequency, scattered around the docks.

Kara didn't care about the risk. She didn't care about the Kryptonite weapons the assholes carried.

She crashed into Rama Khan and threw him into a dock building. The wall crumpled. "Did you hire Lena Luthor's killer?" she growled.

Rama Khan laughed and stood with hardly a mark on him and his ridiculous earth-toned suit. "Those who cross Leviathan do not live to tell the tale. Let you now join her, Supergirl." He extended his hand and the ground shook violently.

A blast from Dreamer's gun sent Rama Khan sprawling. Kara sped over and grabbed him by the throat. Her feet she stomped on his arms. "No one hurts Lena and survives," she growled. Her eyes glowed, and she let out a scream of grief and fury.

She blasted him and punched him again and again. Blood gushed from his face, but then he melted into the earth and stumbled into being a few feet away.

Only for Dreamer to blast him again. Kara pummeled him with the rage of a thousand suns. Her vision red, and the land ripped and shredded in their fight. Part of the pier demolished when Kara threw Rama Khan's accomplice into it. Another building fell when Rama blasted Kara into its walls.

Rama Khan slowed, each blast from the gun scrambled his powers long enough for Kara to rip into him until he bled from multiple places. She lost track of the others, so intent on eliminating the one who ordered Lena's hit.

"Kara!" J'onn clamped the power dampeners on the alien. "Kara, we got him."

Kara clenched Rama's neck and looked down to see the cuffs clasped to his wrists.

How much loss could a heart handle? Why did the universe seek to torture her so? Her entire planet, nearly all her friends, and now the woman she loves most -- loss melted through her crevices, filled her with a blinding fury.

She'd fought to keep everyone alive. It's why she needed to be in control, but that obsession of controlling everything, to make sure she never lost, had poisoned her. She couldn't control everything.

She couldn't even save Lena. The thought of Lena dying in surgery, of never hearing her voice again -- even Lena shouting in anger?

Her fingers crunched bone. Rama Khan tumbled from her grasp and hit the ground with a thump, motionless.

Dreamer and J'onn looked at her, but she didn't respond to their words or looks. Agents swarmed around them to secure the site, while Brainy set up the containment unit for Rama Khan and his accomplices. The ruckus roared like the sea in her ears.

She turned without a word and shot into the sky. She flew as high as she could, to where little to no oxygen existed. The fury burned in her, and she wanted to rip herself apart. She deactivated her helmet, turned off its life support systems, and let the lack of air suffocate her and her emotions.

She'd live. She'd always live, wouldn't she? While all she loved died.

She closed her eyes and let herself fall. Air whooshed around her body, screamed in her ears as she hit terminal velocity. For those brief moments, she heard nothing but the shrill wind, the rest of the Earth drowned out in her fall. A moment of release from the endless soundscape.

Halfway to the ground, she righted herself and flew to the edge of Earth's atmosphere. Again she let herself fall. For a third time, she soared high and fell.

Each time she let herself get closer and closer to hitting the ocean. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't outpace her fury at her own actions. At her failure.

This time she hit the water. She sunk into its depths.

Sea life swam around her, the distant calls of whales rippled through the water. What should delight her brought her sorrow.

No, she couldn't die. Her wretched powers, her curse, kept her alive. Kept her isolated from those she loved. Her careful, practiced control meant even in moments of extreme emotion, she still had to make sure not to hug too tightly. And kissing? How many noses had she broken?

All she wanted was Lena. Even if she could never be with Lena, she needed Lena to be alive. To be healthy and happy. Kara could live with just being on the sidelines, right? As long as Lena was alive.

She burst out of the ocean in a shower of sea water. She hung in the air and watched the waves below her. Her ears tuned to her favorite heartbeat, and there it was, faint, far too faint, but still pulsing.

A slither of hope wove into Kara's wretched spirit. She flew back to the DEO, the wind drying the moisture from the sea.

When she landed, Nia met her at the balcony's doors. "Kara," she breathed out as if she'd been running. "Been looking everywhere."

Kara crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you want?"

"It's Lena. Alex said to let you know the surgery is ongoing and Lena's handling it like a pro." Nia met her gaze, but worry painted across her face. "Don't lose hope yet. She may still live."

Kara said nothing. She heard the rebuke in Nia's words, but she didn't regret her actions. For Lena, there was no boundaries. She'd destroy a thousand Rama Khans if it meant saving Lena.

She followed Nia down the hall, through two intersections, and into the medical bay. Most of the beds were occupied by injured agents from the Leviathan battle. It was the surgery room that occupied all of Kara's attention.

Lena's heart beat still in those glass walls.

Kara walked up to them and pressed a hand against the cool glass. Lena looked so pale. So fragile.

The tears returned. Her chest constricted with a Lena-shaped hole that ached with each beat of her heart.

She didn't move from that spot for the rest of the surgery. Kara held vigil in silence, unmoving. She'd given Lena revenge on those who tried to kill her, and now Kara waited.

Waited for hope to dawn once more.

/end part 2

[junkdrawerfics]

Gonna ask me to dance, Cowboy?

Jasper Hale X Reader

Summary: Reader was in an accident that damaged her spinal cord and left her temporarily wheelchair bound. It's during this time that the Cullens move to Forks, and she meets and falls in love with Jasper. A little bit of your story, wrapped up with a big surprise at the end. Requested by @twilightlover2007

Words: 2457

Note: Obviously went with Jasper and boy did this take on a life of its own! I hope you like it!!! It's a little cheesy, but that's what I like.

Disclaimer: I have limited knowledge of temporary paralysis and life with a wheelchair. If I'm wrong about anything, please let me know!

---

The accident happened before the Cullens moved to Forks. You don’t remember much of it, which the doctor says can be common given the head trauma you experienced. All you know is that you were driving home from a game and a drunk driver decided not to stop at the red light.

The accident left you with some severe damage to your spinal cord. Not irreversible, but enough to strand you in a wheelchair. It took almost two months alone for the fractures in your leg to heal, and then another to find a good physical therapist in Seattle who could work with you.

In the midst of this, the Cullens showed up. And you fell for Jasper like a newborn fawn trying to walk for the first time. A fitting comparison considering your legs worked just as well. 

Your friends thought you were crazy. Afterall, he was the least…approachable of the group. Always frowning. Not at all talkative. Everyone thought he was a bit of a grouch. But you knew better.

You met the real Jasper the first Friday after they arrived. It was another game day, meaning your little high school was going all out cheering for the team throughout the day (even though everyone knew you didn’t stand a fighting chance). 

You were making your way to the pep rally at the end of the day when someone jostled you from behind, sending your wheelchair right over the sidewalk’s ledge and into the grass. You cursed the school’s outdoor hallways so hard that day. It was raining, as it always was, and the moment your wheels hit the ground, you could feel them sink into the mud.

You were effectively trapped.

Or at least, you thought you were. Until a certain blond appeared out of nowhere.

---

“Are you alright, miss?”

You huff out a laugh, trying to keep a smile despite it all, “Yah, yes, I’m okay. Just a little stu-”

When you look up, the words get stuck in your throat. Jasper Hale. Jasper Hale is standing right in front of you, in the rain, hair already sticking to his face, and despite the concern dripping from his features, you can’t help but notice how absolutely gorgeous he is. How did you not notice before?

Before you can stop yourself, the thoughts spill out of your mouth, “Wow, you’re really pretty.”

Shock flickers across the blond’s face, though it’s quickly replaced by a soft smirk that makes his eyes crinkle just a little, somehow making him look more attractive. You blink. And blink. And blink. Until what you said finally sinks in.

Your face goes impossibly red. 

“I am so sorry,” you squeak, eyes wide. His smile only widens when you continue to sputter, “I’m fine! Really. And um, I, you can, you don’t have to worry! I’ll just-”

You try to push yourself forward, anything to escape this moment, but your wheels just spin futilely in the mud. You’re not going anywhere, not without help, and Jasper seems to know that, his gold eyes glinting with amusement. You purse your lips, face only going darker.

“Would you like help, darlin’?” Jasper asks, voice low and honey-like, and wow - it seems so unfair for someone to look so handsome and sound like that too.

You cast him an embarrassed smile, “Yes please. If you really don’t mind, that is.”

The blond chuckles, the sound making your heart flutter. He makes it look effortless, the way he maneuvers you out of the grass and back onto the hallway sidewalk. You hum happily when you’re back on solid ground, wheeling back and forth a bit to dislodge the mud from your rims.

“That’s better,” you sigh, spinning back to face him, “Thank you so much.”

Jasper nods, “It was my pleasure, miss.”

You roll your eyes playfully, “Please, call me (Y/n). (Y/n) (L/n). Miss makes me feel so old, and I’m like, a hundred percent sure you’re older than me.”

Something flickers behind his eyes, but it disappears as quickly as it came. 

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss (Y/n).” You narrow your eyes, but he only grins a little teasingly, which you refuse to admit makes your pulse race even more. “The name’s Jasper Hale.”

“Nice to meet you too, Jasper.” Officially at least.

“I suppose you were headin’ to the rally?”

Your nose scrunches,“Yep. Before the impromptu shower, at least.”

“Would y’mind if I accompany you?” 

Blinking, you glance up at him in surprise. Jasper just looks down at you, face still set in a charming, calm smile, so different from the scowl you’d grown accustomed to in passing. He’s being genuine. Actually genuine. It makes your face go warm all over again.

“I think I’d like that.”

---

You don’t know what possessed Jasper Hale to help you that day, but he did.

From then on, you and Jasper became friends. He was still a bit odd, but his whole family was. And you liked them. Even Rosalie, whose bluntness was refreshing compared to most of the girls at your school. You befriended all of them, but you and Jasper were particularly close.

Falling for him was easy. Between the soft smile he seemed to reserve only for you and the way he always supported you, how could you not? You realized it after a particular hard day of physical therapy, when your legs were aching and it felt like you were making absolutely no progress. It was a day that Jasper offered to pick you up because your dad had to work late.

---

Jasper can tell you’re upset before he even reaches you.

You sit at the entrance to the rehab center, head ducked, fingers fidgeting in your lap. You see Jasper’s shoes first before he’s kneeling in front of you, honey eyes dark with concern as they flicker over your features. You look back at him, eyes blurry with unshed tears.

The blond’s gaze softens, “Oh, darlin’.”

And you break.

All the pent up frustration and guilt you’ve been holding onto comes pouring out. You manage to stay quiet, barely, but your whole body trembles with your tears as you collapse forward into Jasper’s arms. He holds you close, not saying a word, just humming softly into your hair.

The longer you stay like that, the calmer you feel. It’s like magic, the storm of your emotions calming to a dull roar, until you can take in a few deep breaths

It’s only when your hiccuping goes quiet that he draws you back, eyes scanning you again. You glance down, feeling too raw, too vulnerable like this, with his thoughtful gaze burning over you. But you also feel undeniably safe somehow.

“You’re doin’ so well, darlin,” he eventually murmurs, voice low, soothing your frayed edges. “I know you’ve been hurtin’ and you’re feelin’ like giving up, but we’re all so proud of you. Someday you’ll be back on your feet and I’ll be here ‘til that day comes. And long after it.”

It’s the most you think you’ve ever heard him say at once. His words ring with something so genuine, you can’t help but melt.

“Thanks, Jasper.”

“Always, darlin.”

---

It felt like more than a promise about that day. More than just a friend being there for another friend. And it was the moment you realized you really liked Jasper Hale. 

It was only a matter of time before you learned about his world.

None of them told you, of course. They couldn’t. But the truth was hard to deny when a lone vampire came through Forks and almost killed you. 

You knew it was a bad idea to go out by yourself. Even though your legs were getting stronger from your perseverance in physical therapy, you still couldn’t walk by yourself. Which made you quite the easy target.

Luckily, Jasper was just in time to save you.

After the shock, though, came all your questions. Why did that man try to bite you? How did Jasper throw him all the way down the alley? How did he know where to find you and that you were in trouble?

A silently distraught Jasper ended up taking you back to the Cullen house. The air was tense, except for Alice, who was more than excited. She foresaw it all, of course.

Carlisle explained it all to you as Jasper paced off to the side. A scowl lingered on his lips, his eyes set on something distant. The moment you felt a flicker of panic though, he was there, kneeling at your side, smoothing a hand over your shoulder. You covered his with your own, holding on so tightly that if he were human, he'd probably be hissing in pain. You had a good grip strength from wheeling around for a few months.

It took time to settle into this new reality. Jasper gave you space to process, scared to push you too hard, but you wouldn’t have it. Vampire or not, you couldn’t stand the distance. You hadn’t realized just how ingrained he was in your life until then. Whenever something happened, no matter how small it was, you wanted to rush to him and tell him everything. You hated life without him.

So you ended up asking him out.

Dating came as naturally as breathing. Nothing changed. He still drove you to physical therapy and walked you to all of your classes. Only now, he would press a kiss to your forehead when you parted ways and take you on dates after every p.t. appointment. 

You had never been happier.

That’s when you came up with an idea for the upcoming school formal.

---

“You ready, darlin?” Jasper pauses at your side of the car, wheelchair pulled out and set up behind him.

You grin, squashing the nerves buzzing in your chest before he can sense them, “Yes! Now help me out of here, mister.”

The blond chuckles. He helps you down from the car, touch overwhelmingly tender, as if he’s scared of breaking you. Which, you suppose, he could. You settle into your wheelchair with practiced ease, your dress only causing a little trouble.

The night starts off perfectly. You take your pictures and meet up with his siblings inside the venue. Everything is beautiful. As usual, Forks high went all out with the theme. It’s something cheesy, like ‘a night under the stars’, everything draped in a deep navy blue, the ceiling decorated with shimmering stars.

When the dancing starts, you give Alice the cue. She sends you a little wink before dashing off to the dj booth. You catch Edward grinning out of the corner of your eye. It was impossible to keep him out of it, what with the whole mind reading thing, so you just shoot the man a playful glare. He stifles a chuckle, making an excuse to go get some punch, despite the fact he can’t drink it.

Sighing softly, you steel your nerves, spinning back to your boyfriend.

“Hey,” you call, catching the cuff of his suit.

Jasper’s eyes turn to you, and oh, wow, you’ll never get used to that. The way he looks at you, it’s like you’re one of the stars decorating the night. His eyes glow with an overwhelming warmth and something so so fond. All of a sudden it feels like you’re the only two in the room, everything else fading away.

“Yes, darlin?”He hums, slipping your hand into his to brush his thumb over your knuckles.

The touch sends sparks cascading over your skin, settling in your chest among the wild butterflies. You bite your lip to try and hold back a massive smile.

“You gonna ask me to dance, cowboy?” You tease.

A smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth.

Jasper makes a show of pretending to tip a hat, voice bright with amusement, “My apologies ma’am. I shouldn’t have kept you waitin’.”

“Mmm, I’ll forgive you,” you hum, biting back a laugh, “just this once, Mister Hale.”

“That’s very kind of you, darlin. Now, would you give me the pleasure of escortin’ you to the dance floor?”

“Why, of course.”

Jasper figures he’ll hold you up as you dance, or maybe spin you while you sit. Anything you want.

Except you do neither of those things. Instead, you gather every ounce of your strength, and shakily push yourself to your feet. Your wheelchair disappears (thank you Alice) and you stand there, all on your own.

After a few seconds, you’re certain that your legs won’t give out, and glance up at the blond expectantly.

Jasper stares back at you, eyes wide, brows arched. It almost looks like he’s forgotten to breathe, his whole body rigid. Shocked. Your grin finally breaks loose, so wide it makes your cheeks ache. Squeezing his hand, you take a tentative step closer. A little wobbly, but you stay standing. It’s only one step, but -

You’re walking.

In an instant, Jasper’s hands are cupping your face, and it’s only then you realize you’re crying. Tears race down around your smile and he’s quick to wipe them away, drawing you close so he can rest your foreheads together.

“My Lord, darlin-” He lets out a breathless laugh. “-you’re goin’ t’make this old man’s heart start again.”

You giggle, curling your arms around his neck, “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Been a long time since I’ve been surprised.”

“But I did?”

“Yes, you certainly did.”

Jasper leans down, pressing his lips to yours. It’s soft, featherlight, and you feel like you’re floating. It’s perfect. Everything about it is perfect and so much better than you expected.

The vampire pulls back, just enough to whisper against your lips, “You’re amazin’ darlin. Absolutely amazin’.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” you hum back, “Now, dance with me, cowboy.”

Your song comes on. The one you first danced with Jasper to in your kitchen, when he set you on his feet and held you close to support your weight. A knowing grin falls across his lips, his eyes creasing as he looks down at you.

“It would be my pleasure.”

Unlike that first time, you don’t have to stand on his feet. You don’t even have to clutch onto him to stay upright. Instead, you rest your hands on his shoulders, and Jasper traces his along your waist. The two of you move together slowly, perfectly.

By the end of it, you’re leaning against him, head tucked under his chin, just soaking in the feeling of his arms around you, his lips pressed to the crown of your head. Your legs are shaking, but you don’t care.

This is everything you could ever ask for.

---

I had fun writing this!! It came really clearly for me, though it ended up being a lot longer than I thought because I wanted to add so much exposition.

[tarotwithavi]

Messages from your inner child 🎁🪐

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

Masterlist

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Hello if you're reading I hope you have a great month ahead!

Pile 1

Hello I hope you are fine I just want to ask you how are you coping up with it. We promised to be a kind person did we not? Are you still that kind person? I am not talking about how you treat others I am talking about how you treat yourself. Are you being kind to us? I just get upset sometimes when you don't treat yourself the way you treat your good friends because I am your friend too. Are we doing our dream job? Are we doing what we dreamed of? No? Do we have the friend group that we always desired? Are we popular now? Are you putting enough work to get all that we desired? I am not blaming you I am just reminding you that to get what we desire we need to put in the same effort. You know you are capable of all that you desire, you're worthy of all that you desire but things will not be served on a silver platter for you.

I see that a lot of you have been hurt and yourself healing from all those experiences. I also see that some of you may have been through a miscarriage or death of a child. Your inner child just wants you to know that everything will be okay and you will be fine. I also see that some of you need to take action to fulfill your dreams. You have the idea that you just need to put it to work. Follow your dreams, are you the person your inner child will be proud of? Ask yourself. What can you do to be the person you always dreamt of becoming as a child?

Pile 2

Hello! I know you have been really stressed lately. I know things did not work out the way you thought they would or the way you wanted them to but I just want you to know that the upcoming days are a blessing. You have done enough for us now it's your time to take a rest and finally give yourself the credit you deserve. I do not feel good when you overwork yourself. If you look closely we are currently living one of her childhood dreams you just need to acknowledge that. You are already doing enough to become the person you are meant to be and sometimes life does punch us in the face but we have to stand strong. Do not be harsh with your words, do not look yourself in the mirror and say harsh things because I live inside you. Yes, things are really bad. Yes we do not have the money to get some work done but it will be alright. Remember “This too shall pass”. The people the times the beauty all these things are temporary with the only thing that is permanent is your mind. People leave you, time changes and beauty becomes not so beautiful with time but it is only your brain that remains the same. Yes it does go from frequent changes but in the end it's your brain that is going to stay with you forever. so keep that positive and do not let those negative thoughts get to you.

Alright so this may be a really specific message but I am getting that if you used to have a twin who couldn't survive , they are now one of your spirit guides. I also want you to know that you are going to reap the fruits of what you bore in the past. For example if you did a good thing and forgot about it then you are getting the good Karma back but if you did a bad thing then this is just the karma getting at you. For some of you you are about to meet your soulmate and have a long term relationship with them however I would suggest you to not obsess over the thought of having a soulmate because that may repel them. I also see that your inner child is proud of you actually and they really want to give you a big hug. Imagine your child self hugging you and patting you on the back.

Pile 3

Hello!!!!! Do not be sad, we have to prove people wrong, right? We have to prove that we are enough and we have to prove that they have been wrong for a very long time. They have been wrong about the world, they have been wrong about us, they have been wrong about what beauty is. Honestly I don't think there is anything they have been correct at. Just keep doing what you are doing. I am really proud of you and you should keep being yourself. Show them your sarcastic side and talk back to them. You are doing enough I said and that's the end of the topic. They can be the one to speak or to start a conversation or even an argument but we will be the one who ends it. You are here to break generational curses . What people say should not bother you. In fact what people say should not bother anyone because they don't pay our bills. I don't know how you become so anxious because this is not you, we are carefree, we are cheerful and we are beautiful.

Alright so your inner child seems sassy so to say. I also see that you have been receiving messages in your dreams or your about to. I also see that if you are thinking of starting a new business or giving a job interview or filing for a job then you should definitely do it but be really careful of what information you share. Some of you may be having nightmares recently because your room is really cold. Things about to change life will turn drastically. It's like you are about to shift realities. Right now you may be doing two jobs or maybe managing work and job and may be really stressed about yesterday's work and your personal life but you're about to shift into a reality where you will not have to worry about these things. You are about to shift into a reality where your manifestations will come to reality within seconds.

[sugarushwriting]

being ot7 personal blood bank.

the boys feed on you whenever they need a recharge.

except for jungwon, sunoo and ni-ki

since those three are freshly turned (all being within the past 2 months) they are using blood bags as they cannot contain their thirst, just yet on a human.

not proof read. please don’t translate or repost.

but please reblog, like and share!

sfw but with some warning of innuendos

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

you were studying for an upcoming test at the university library when you felt a tap on your shoulder.

from your studymates reactions, you knew it had to be one of the boys.

you looked up, and jake stared at you with a smile. “can i talk to you for a bit?”

you nodded telling the table quietly, that you’ll be back. you followed jake to a back corner of the library.

“i need to feed.” he said.

“now?” you looked around. “jake this better not be a ploy to get in between my legs. we are at the library and i need to study.”

jake frowned. bingo. “fine, but i really do need to feed.”

you sighed. “fine, but not here.”

“already taken care of, follow me.” jake grabbed your hand and led you to a women’s bathroom that had a “not working,” sign.

“did you put that up?” you asked as he drug you into the bathroom, setting you on the clean, bathroom counter.

jake smirked. “yes. but i knew you wouldn’t let me feed unless we were somewhere private.”

“yeah because a public restroom in a library filled with university students is private.” you rambled.

all while rambling, jake stared at you with adoration. “are you done?”

you huffed then nodded.

“good,” jake took a look at your clothing choice. sweatshirt, leggings, and comfy shoes. “wish you were wearing a skirt with a little more access,”

“jake, it’s chilly outside.” not like he would notice.

he began pulling down your leggings, leaving your underwear on. he took off your shoes before your leggings, then placed your leggings in your hands.

“to bite on.” he said and you nodded.

jake leaned down in front of your center and kissed the tender spot of your inner thigh. his favorite place to feed.

each of the 4 older boys had their favorite place to feed, and soon jungwon would too.

jake gave the spot a few licks and sucks like he was numbing the area. “jake,” you warned the boy. he looked up at you innocently with a sparkle in his eye.

“fine.” he pouted. soon, his eyes changed and his fangs came out. bracing yourself, you put your leggings in your mouth as jake bit down on your inner thigh. he held your legs open.

you cried into your leggings, trying to remember the pain is only temporary. as jake fed, he rubbed circles on the opposite inner thigh he wasn’t feeding on. soon your cries turned into whimpers, and the tears stopped forming.

it wasn’t a long feed, and jake sat up, licking his blood covered lips, before giving the teeth marks on your thigh one last lick. the salvia was to heal the wound.

you took deep breaths, as your head was tilted back resting against the bathroom mirror. jake stood up rubbing soothing patterns on your thighs as you regained your own strength.

when you nodded you were okay, jake kissed your cheek, and helped you get dressed.

“don’t walk home alone, either have a study mate walk back with you to your dorm or call one of us.”

“yes sir.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

when you arrived to your dorm, your roommate was in the shared common area. “hey! how was studying?”

“tiring.” you stated. “i need at least an 86% to bring my grade back up to b. if not i know the professor will be on my ass.”

“at least the teaching assistant is cute.” your roommate teased.

ah yes, the teaching assistant for that class happened to be jay. another one of the boys that feeds on you.

“right.” you yawned and bid goodnight to your roommate, going into your private bedroom to change. you would shower in the morning since your first class wasn’t until 11 am.

you were the only one on campus that was human and knew about the boys being vampires.

heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, and newly turned jungwon, sunoo and ni-ki. the only story you knew was of sunoo and ni-ki and how they turned. sunghoon and jake were the ones to turn them. apparently the boys were involved in a terrible accident and it was either they die or be turned. that was only a month ago.

jungwon was turned by jay a little over 2 months ago.

you did know jay and sunghoon were the first vampires, then heeseung and jake.

jay was actually the reason you came to know the boys. first day of the semester, he noticed you. after the first quiz about the second week, he called you to his small office. you thought you had failed, but that wasn’t the case.

you didn’t know, but since jay saw you in class, he had been watching you. for two weeks he watched your every move with the help of sunghoon. it had been a while since they had a human to consistently feed on. with the newly turned boys, they would need someone to help ‘train’ the boys to control their blood lust.

you accused jay of wiping your memory or using his mind control powers because you cannot even remember how you agreed to this.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

you were awoken around 2 am by sirens outside your dorm, and flashing lights.

rubbing your eyes tirelessly, you sat up in bed and your roommate barged in. “oh my goodness!”

“what happened?” you asked with a yawn.

“a girl was just found outside in a bush! apparently she had blood pouring out of her!”

that woke you up.

“huh? what do you mean?”

“amy on the second floor was the one to find her! it’s belle, a freshman! amy claimed her wrist were just gushing out blood, and there was a blood trail leading away from her body!”

your heart beat picked up the pace. you quickly grabbed your phone to text jay.

you: jay, did you hear about the freshman girl?

jay: yes. your class with me at 11 has already been canceled. i am on my way to pick you up.

you: what happened?

jay: it’s ni-ki. he ignored our strict curfew and rules. i will explain after i pick you up. pack an overnight bag.

“i’m going to stay with a friend off campus.” your roommate spoke. you forgot she was still in the room. “i don’t wanna stay in a building where there’s a creep lurking!”

“same.” you said and got up from bed to pack a bag.

jay and sunghoon always explained to the newer vampires, that feeding on a human can be dangerous, especially for the first few times.

a newbie quickly loses control, driven by lust only. if not stopped, it can end up deadly.

what has ni-ki done?

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

[hanihazeljade]

Three Hopes

A little flashback as to why Timothy moved to Japan.

Start -Three Weeks

Prev - Three Idiots

Next - Three Events

"You know what Tim? Go off the grid for all I care! That's the only thing you are good at!" Dick shouted at him, clearly too fed up with Tim's shit.

"I beg your pardon?" Tim asked, face full of disbelief as what his supposed older brother just said.

"Tim, please. Stop antagonising Damian and Dick, and be more mature, that is what we need you for." Bruce said, hoping his statement would diffuse the tension but it just made it much thicker, too unbearable to breathe.

Tim scoffed, "So, if I am not mature enough, I am not needed, Bruce?" he huffed, if they are fed up with him, he was also fed up with them, "Fine! I don't want to be the mature one, Bruce. I quit!" He said as he took off his bandoliers and slammed it to the nearest table to him.

He heard Bruce call him back but he just ignored the older man as he rode Redbird back to his Nest. He can feel the tears creep to his eyes but he stopped it, he will not cry while driving. He can cry if he was alone in his safehouse, in his nest, where he will be all alone but at least safe with no more judgement and expectations. He can feel the irritation of his person when he starts to sniffle. He can control his tears, he has been since he can remember, afterall, Janet is a strict mother who hates a lot of unnecessary noises.

He parked at his underground garage and the tears all burst out. All he could feel is shame, betrayal and disbelief. After all he did to those ungrateful bastards?! Then he remembers his role, a substitute to Jason until Batman finally gets a hold of himself. Tim being Robin is something temporary. Bruce doesn't want him, Dick doesn't want him and Alfred doesn't want him but he forces his way. And now they have someone who could fill the Robin mantle that they actually like, Tim is not needed. He is now a bandage to an already healed wound.

He was the one holding the teared-up rope when Bruce started to become extremely violent, the tension of pulling Bruce to sanity is insane, as time goes by, the tension eased. And when Jason came back, the tension suddenly became too much to bear. And then Damian came and he almost let the rope go, but he didn't. Then everyone started to leave him. The rope starts to kill him, but he will never let go. The rope burns him as he tries to find a way to bring Bruce back. And when he did, the rope finally stopped to burn him, to kill him, and then it loosened as the time went by.

After 8 years of holding the damn rope that is finally tightly tied back, he can feel so idiotic. He stayed with the Wayne's until it was long overdue. He is not needed to hold the rope anymore. He cried, sobbed, screamed and just let himself go. He cannot believe himself, he was supposed to be the smart one and yet he didn't notice the obvious lack of space for him in the Manor and yet he still tried to squeeze himself in. Maybe it was because he longed for affection. Maybe it was because he longed for human interaction. Maybe he longed for a family that is physically there.

He doesn't know how long he was crying until his throat is parched, tears are drying to his cheeks, sniffling as he leaves RedBird. He emailed Tam that he will be taking a leave of absence for three days. He only needs three days to pull himself together, and to tie the loose ends. He is good at that, afterall he is Janet Drake's son. He needs a plan, to finally leave the suffocating atmosphere in the Wayne's.

+++++++

On the third day of his leave of absence, he dropped his resignation letter to Lucius Fox. He is already all packed up, his disguise as Caroline Hill is on set. And with that he takes a cab to take him to the airport. A plane will take him to England, and he hopes that he can restart his life somewhere and sometime in the near future. He will try to hope his life will get better after his falling out with the Wayne's. Because maybe, this is the push that he needed to make himself known that he is worthy of something. Maybe he will love himself and will take care of his person first before pleasing others. Maybe.

Brighton, England

Brighton is almost the same in Gotham in terms of not being able to see the sun. But the air is fresher, more breathable and more relaxing than in Gotham and it kind off makes him miss the pollution in Gotham.

Staying in England was nice, but staying for too long in one place is very risky of him getting caught. 

'Getting off the grid, huh, Richard?' he thought as he smirked. If they think he can find him once he goes off the grid, they are wrong. Afterall, he fried every single tracker Bruce has on him, and even the implant tracker in his tooth. His heartbeat was concealed by the white noise generator that is disguised as a necklace, even Superman can't hear him unless he shout his name. 

Brighton is actually a good place to stay but too bad, he needs to get out now before one of the bats finds a clue where he is.

‘A game of cat and mouse, too bad for them, I am an excellent mouse that hides in Drake Manor.’ he thought as he rode the train to France.

Marseille, France

He missed France, after he sent himself to learn from Rahul Lama. When he was in France, all he did was to study martial arts, he never had a chance to sightsee anything. Sure he can see the Eiffel Tower in his window but he would rather learn martial arts faster.

But now, he has all the time he had. With his income as a shareholder in Wayne Enterprises, that goes half in Caroline Hill and Alvin Draper's bank account. He knows better than to directly wired his salary to those accounts so he may or may not have hacked the bank to make sure that his transactions are deleted after he deposits those cash.

He is currently chilling on the balcony of his rented room for the week as he looks at the beautiful sea of Marseille. He was thinking about how to get back to the bats, call him petty, but being a part of the Bats made him dramatic. And petty. And also Jack Drake taught him that a Drake will always have the last say in anything. 

He sighed as there was no idea how to make it a complicated puzzle with an obvious answer. He leans on his recliner as he looks at the framed goods in his room for the sake of aesthetics. His eyes drifted to a framed piece of thick paper that showed a photograph of the beautiful port of Marseille. He slowly smirked as an idea to make those bats lose their shit.

Dhaka, Bangladesh

"Detective." 

"Ra's."

"You can always come to me, Timothy."

"I will not come to you, even if you are the last man that exists in the world."

"You are so mean to the only person who cares for you, Timothy."

"If the people like you care about me, I would rather have no one then." Tim said as a dagger struck Ra's chest. Ra's look behind Timothy and he can see the shine of red armour. 

"Shiva?! This is treachery!"

"It is not. I work for myself, I never vow my loyalty to you." Shiva said as she unsheathed her sabre and gave it to Timothy, "Have the honour, my dear protege." She said and Tim went and grabbed Ra's head with his hair, "Long live the king." He smirked as he beheaded the Demon. Letting the body hit the ground.

The blood sputters into his face and sage green sweater. He gave back Shiva her sabre, "Thank you." Tim said and Shiva retrieved her sabre and turned her back to Tim.

"I have one question and we can pretend that this never happens."

"Yes?"

"Is she... now happy?"

It took Tim a good second to process to know who Shiva is talking to, he smiled, "Yeah, she has an adorable laugh, you will want to hear it." he said.

"No, that is all I need to know." Shiva said as she disappeared to the shadows.

Luebeck, Germany

Luebeck is beautiful.

Students are everywhere. And he blends in so quickly.

He made a dumb decision and enrolled himself for an online course in photography.

It is dumb, he should not be rooting to one place but here he is. With his black hair and blue eyes, he looks like one normal kid. He has a small apartment near the campus and he really like it here. He wanted to be a normal kid for at least his time here. He is praying to any entities that they give him all the luck he had for this peaceful time here in Germany.

Florence, Italy

Having more background in photography than his own impromptu on-the-spot-as-soon-as-possible-evidence-to-prove-Bruce-Wayne-is-Batman expedition, his photos are more pleasing. After taking his photos and professionally photoshop it, he is happy to have his portfolio to become thicker and thicker. It is pride and joy.

Florence is a good place to have his photography certificate to put in the test. Architecture and arts from the Renaissance, also Italian men, was a nice thing to photograph and his parent's heritage was showing, as he curiously read every single historical means of each piece. And he is enjoying every single data that he accumulates, unlike the bloody gores of Gotham's cold cases.

Life is good.

Shanghai, China

Cass found him.

Tim knows having a quick sightseeing in China is a big risk for his sister to find him but he also thinks that Cass is in Hong Kong not Shanghai, there is no way Cass has to be in the Mainland because why would she? She has her own agenda in Hong Kong, and he would not be caught by his sister.

Wrong.

So he became lousy, he became overconfident with past years that he already eluded the batfam that he forgot the best spotter of the family. Cassandra. He was shocked when he was photographing the Yu Garden when someone hugged him from behind. He knows the hug. The bone crushing hug that he always craves, especially these past years, has been hard for him. After the realisation of who is hugging him, he looks at the person he will die for.

"Hey Cass."

Hokkaido, Japan

He settled down.

He breathed in the cold air of Hokkaido, chills going to his spine. But the winter chills of Hokkaido are so much different than the smog chills of Gotham. Here, he was more at peace. There is also a sense of security here, as there are no bats that have been snooping around all his things and business. He was more reckless, the 13 year old him would kick his arse if he saw him being this reckless, though not reckless to give away his location, after all he was giving the bats the most mind fuck riddle that he could give.

Even Riddler can’t fucking decipher that shit.

+++++++++

"Any clues?"

"No."

"Have you checked any airlines or any cruises?"

"I had no Tim Drake, Timothy Drake, Timothy Drake-Wayne, or even Alvin Draper."

"If you may Miss Barbara, search for the name Caroline Hill too."

"Sure, I guess?"

"Why is that, Alf?"

"It is one of Master Tim's past that he would rather be forgotten."

"Found her. She did take a flight to London, England."

"Any other transactions under her name?"

"Nope."

"Transactions under any of Tim's name?"

"Currently checking."

They got cut by the bang behind them. They look at who could possibly do it and they see Jason.

"Any news about Replacement?"

"He took a flight to England."

"And?"

"Dead end." Barbara voices the speakers.

"That's it? We are the most advanced technology and we can't find one little bird. Amazing." Jason sarcastically said.

++++++

Nine months later...

Jason is still looking over to the different safehouses of Tim, maybe the little shit is just here hiding in one of his hidden safehouses.

Jason has all of the safehouses of Tim mapped out and he somehow still coming back to the penthouse in the Metropolis under Luthor's building and when he went there after almost a year of the baby bird go off the grid, the penthouse was sold to a Lynn Winters, a hot chic if he was going to be honest. Long blonde hair with such a lean body, Jason probably asked her out if he is not busy looking where the baby bird is. 

He is stalking the chic when he got a notification that Dick got a postcard from Tim. He left Metropolis and looked to go to the Manor. It took him three hours of non-stop driving and beating probably twenty red lights and he went to the Manor.

"It is also necessary to factor in the fact that that postcard is not selling anywhere. My theory is that Tim takes a picture of Gotham, makes his own postcard and sends it here." Barbara said.

All that they received is a postcard of Gotham. But Gotham is in New Jersey, Tim is here in New Jersey and they didn't even notice. None of their alarms go off. 

"For what?" Damian asked, irritation is showing in his face.

"For petty revenge, I told him that he can go off the grid." Dick said.

++++++

They thought it was finished with that. But Tim keeps on sending postcards that he made. Sometimes every other week but sometimes after a month. After almost two years of sending his homemade postcard, he stopped with a picture of him in front of Tokyo Skytree with a word saying good luck with a blep emoticon.

They will never know what the good luck is for until those postcards that were addressed to Dick were caught in the crossfire of roughhousing playing of Jason Todd and Stephanie Brown that somehow includes a flamethrower. It quickly got shut down when the postcard got dangerously close to the flames. Alfred made the two of them clean up and while cleaning up he notices that most of the ink disappears and was left by a single number.

"Hey Steph!"

"What?!"

"Look at the postcards that you have, do they have a number?" Jason asked.

"What number?" She asked as she flipped one postcard revealing a number 17, instead of one of his beautiful experiences to the certain place. She starts flipping every single one of the postcards and some of them have some of the message they once read but some have a number. "Friction pen." she mumbled.

"This is fucking game to him, doesn't he?" Jason chuckled sarcastically. "How did he even think about this shit?"

Someone coughed behind them, "I do believe that I told you to clean up, Master Jason and Miss Stephanie."

Jason raised one of the postcards, "We may have found a new clue about Baby Bird." 

++++++

They put single one of the fucking postcards near the flames and not every single one has a number on them, there are dummy cards. They arranged it to chronologically and it doesn't make any fucking sense.

The first one was still the Gotham one, next is Norway, then Egypt, France, Belgium, Sudan, Bangladesh, Italy, Ghana, Cuba, Netherlands, Italy, followed by two postcards of Greece and then Romania, Korea, Germany, Morocco, France, CHina, Russia, Iceland, Turkey, Nepal, Vietnam, and last is Japan. They have known the country by using google image and they know some cities too, but most of the postcards' cities are still unknown.

It took them (just Oracle and Bruce, to be honest) five days to finally have every single city and finally crack the message whatever Tim wants to say to them and it makes Jason cackled. The cities have their corresponding number and Jason just laughs his soul out.

"G O I N G O F F T H E G R I D I S E A S Y R I G H T" 

Dick was hurt, Jason can see it and he is just laughing so hard making his family eyed him weirdly but Tim is just amusing and Jason wants to keep him in the pocket and just have him so bad. The picture perfect kid has finally snapped and now they can't do anything until Tim says so. 

+++++++

Dick is truly hurt by what Tim just did. Sending him postcards gave him so much joy as he was the only one who got them, even Alfred didn't send anything which is huge! But knowing that sending him those postcards just to deliver a truly petty revenge just... 

He knows why Tim sent that message. It was the last thing Dick told him and his brother had been hiding and nobody could track him. Even Cass for Christ's sake! Barbara is the best tech person he could think of, but she also has her limits. She can't track someone that has dumped a lot of paper trail and if they need to verify which is which, they are just going into a wild goose chase.

Tim is somewhere out there and even Superman can't find him, unless he shouts. Clark can't hear his heartbeat and Dick just wants to apologise to his brother. But somehow he knows that is so far from possible.

[yandereunsolved]

✧ Yandere Legend ✧

"You could have died!"

"Legend, it's just a bruise from a Bokoblin. It isn't the end of the world."

"Don't start giving me that sass. I'm taking you to see Hyrule right now. You could've gotten a concussion, or worse. You could have internal bleeding!"

"Fine. I'll go see Hyrule if you stop worrying so much."

"You're my entire world. I would die for you."

"What?"

"What? I said you're just a loser. I wouldn't die for you."

"Sorry, the Bokoblin must have hit me over the head harder than I thought."

"See? I was right. Next time let me go with you. We can't lose our best archer."

"I'm technically your only archer."

"That still makes you the best one we have."

"Well, thank you. I am pretty good at this."

"Just do one more thing for me before we get you healed by Hyrule, okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah, what is it?"

"J-Just wear this ring for me. It's enchanted, so you'll be safe."

It'll mean we're married. None of the others will even be able to get close to you. You didn't need to know that. It's only a temporary thing. I'll get you a better and more protective one when we start dating. I can't scare you off quite yet.

[mmmkaybye]

Why Zutara Shippers are Wrong (JK, You can ship who you want lol)

(Although, I don't care if you do actually ship Zutara, that's your prerogative, I'm just waiting for better arguments for the relationship and for people to stop negatively viewing Kataang)

First of all, I'm premising this with the fact that I don't think that ATLA should have ended with Katara and Aang kissing. I think it would have been fine to just end with a slightly more intimate-than-friends hug/cuddle. I would have personally preferred that two children who survived being literal child soldiers get the chance to be kids before they delve into a more mature relationship with one another, but they didn't exactly have adults of the modern culture there to guide them a different way, now did they?

BUT! I am a firm believer that Zuko and Katara would never have worked out romantically and that Katara and Aang's relationship 1. makes more sense and 2. is actually healthier in the scope of trauma and trauma responses.

First of all, I don't understand how the creators of ATLA managed to craft literally the MOST traumatic childhood backstory ever with incredible detail and nuance and everyone just fricking glosses over it like WTF??? Not to mention, the creators did an amazing job diversifying trauma responses to similar trauma experiences.

Let's discuss Katara's childhood trauma, which was not healed magically after a little side quest with Zuko. Katara carries immense survivor's guilt over her mother's murder. Katara understands very well how and why her mother was brutally murdered in their family home. She has been deeply aware of this since the day of her mother's murder - and she fully blames herself. Katara understands that a fire nation soldier killed her mother, but he killed her because of Katara - she said so herself. Then, Katara, who was the last person to interact with her mother, discovers her mother's body, and it is insinuated that Katara might have even witnessed her mother's brutal execution-style murder. This forever alters Katara down to her core personality traits. Katara is 'bossy' because of her trauma. I work with kids from pre-k through graduating american high school. It's pretty normal for girls to do what I call 'mothering' to their peers and to kids younger than them. It often is described as being 'bossy' and some girls are in fact bossy, but for the most part, they are roleplaying a caretaker mentality as they are most familiar with. In Katara's deep guilt of being the reason her mother was murdered, her trauma response was burden herself with the role of mother. This is further antagonized when her father leaves with the rest of the adult men to fight against the Fire Nation. He might've well as died too due to lack of communication for many years. Sokka does not allow Katara to mother him for very long, so she doesn't get to have a chance to work through her personal trauma response to her grief because she has no one to safely and consistently direct these mothering tendencies towards. The other children in the village are not orphans, their mothers are most likely very alive and very involved with them, so they would be temporary fillers at best. Sokka has stepped into the role of village man and definitely would reject Katara's mothering, which often led to tension between the siblings. Toph had the very reaction to Katara's mothering tendencies as I expect a young Sokka had to them. He lost his mother, too, he didn't want a replacement, nor did he want to lose his sister to the role of mother.

Zuko, in the same fashion as Sokka, had a mother who he loved, and lost, and was not looking to replace. Zuko's mother was also a topic that is deeply rooted in a lot of Zuko's personal trauma as well. Zuko did not get to spend much time with Katara for her mothering tendencies to be extended over him, but he definitely would have aggressively rejected them as Katara's trauma response would have negatively triggered his own. Their trauma would have deeply and negatively impacted any romantic relationship they could have developed because of how they would react to each other. Their relationship would have crashed and burned very quickly.

On top of that. Katara would have never left the South Pole indefinitely - that is her home, and she consistently returned to it throughout her life. That is an effect of her cultural upbringing. Zuko couldn't leave the Fire Nation, and as we saw in the graphic novels that followed, Zuko's personal welfare suffered greatly because his whole world was upended and now he was responsible for the one nation that didn't get peace at the end of the war. It's incredibly naive and slightly delusional for people to desperately push romantic wishes upon a sixteen-year-old boy who was burdened with the responsibility of healing an entire nation, one that fought him every step of the way in many aspects. He did not have the emotional energy to expend upon a frivolous relationship. That's why Mai and he broke up, not because they didn't love each other, but because Zuko simply could not have personal relationships until his reign and nation had stabilized - that alone would take upwards of 10 years. Plus, Zuko may have helped others work through parts of their trauma, but he had to address his trauma too, which we saw the beginnings of during the graphic novels. Simply put, by the end of ATLA and all of the graphic novels, Zuko was in no place emotionally, mentally, and even physically and politically to seek out a relationship that was meaningful and healthy. And I know that Zuko would have changed the tradition of political marriage, at the very least he deserves to have married for love at the end of everything he suffered through. Zuko is a great opportunity to normalize waiting until you're in your mid-twenties -thirties before seeking out romantic relationships. Logistically speaking, I don't think there would have been much opportunity for romantic feelings to develop between the two of them. I especially don't think Katara would have easily been able to live in the Fire Nation because the Fire Nation was directly responsible for her trauma, and that is also why I don't think she would have every pursued a relationship with a Fire Nation man, Zuko or not.

Now onto Aang. Everyone always jumps onto this idea that Katara and Aang had a very mother-son relationship - which is wrong. Aang comes from a culture that literally does not have mother and fatherhood. There are NO mothers and fathers in the Air Nomad Nation. Sure, kids had birth parents, but parenthood was not part of their culture, nor did Aang ever seek out that kind of relationship. Aang may have been kid-like, but he was the most adultified kid in the group. He was incredibly independent and confident in his ability to travel internationally by himself at 12. Katara had never thought to leave the South Pole to seek out a waterbending master in the North Pole because she didn't have that confidence or training. The Air Nomads thrived on a mentorship-based village raising of children. So, Aang never thought of Katara as his mother. He literally couldn't, because he had no scope of reference for such a relationship, same with fatherhood. He never had a parental relationship with Monk Gyasto. It was more like a fun uncle mentorship. I think that's why everyone thinks Aang was a bad father, but he was an outlier in the Air Nomad nation because there was no Air Nomad nation when he had children. The village that raised the children in his culture was gone. He was actually a fairly decent father and the two older children probably felt bitter because Tenzin was the only other air bender in existence so it obviously Aang is going to spend a lot of one on one time with Tenzin in the scope of mentoring Tenzin in the way of Air Nomad culture. Aang was not an absentee father like how many people assumed from the very one-sided and brief explanation given by the two older, jaded siblings. Was he perfect? No, he literally had no clue how to be a father. Did he and Tenzin leave to get milk and never come back? Also no. That being said, Aang was the only individual who was comfortable with Katara mothering him, he never felt threatened or overburdened by her trauma response, which allowed for Katara to genuinely work through her grief and mature out of the extreme bossy mothering we first saw in book one. If you pay attention, yes Katara does retain that 'bossy' kind of personality, but that was permanent fixture due to her childhood trauma and a little bit of cultural influence as well. I think, if Katara had never been traumatized, she would have always leaned towards a very soothing and nuturing type of personality, which we began to see in the middle of book three. Her bossiness/mothering trauma response gradually lessened the longer she 'mothered' Aang. Once again, neither of the two saw each other as Mother-son. They were simple too close in age and Aang also had the added sense of duty-boundness due to being the Avatar. Katara was always going to be a caretaker archetype personality, trauma or no, and that simply wasn't the type of person that Zuko would lean towards for a romantic relationship due to his own personal upbringing and culture. Aang is a much more gentle and playfully empathetic personality that works with Katara's firm care and sassy disposition.

In the graphic novels, I personally saw a great deal of healing and maturation in Katara in relation to her trauma. She was less mothering towards Aang, too, and I think that had a lot to do with the fact that Aang matured a lot as well and the change in their once platonic relationship to a more romantic-leaning one. Was their relationship perfect? No, they are kids who survived a horrific war and many many trauma-inducing situations. However, once Katara fully leaned away from the mothering habit, we get to see that Aang allows Katara to relax and be more playful. She genuinely was just happy with Aang. He pushed her to be a little more child-like and to have child-like fun even as they grew up into adulthood. Katara helped Aang mature and face a lot of adult burdens that were placed child.

In the end, Katara and Aang always brought out the best in each other. Katara and Zuko didn't have enough time together in ATLA to develop an individual relationship outside of the group. There simply isn't enough time outside of their little side-quest in which Katara and Zuko interact solo- which was definitely NOT Katara's best, and in fact was Katara lashing out aggressively towards people who loved and cared for her and she them. Zuko was also not his 'best' in that time either as he was also being triggered emotionally. In fact, during ATLA, there's way too much negative tension between the two of them that leads to really intense disagreements and emotional outbursts more often than not until Katara begrudgingly accepts Zuko into the group, they don't even positively interact until Ember Island which is what, two weeks? She's not exactly nice when she pretty much demands him to help her hunt down the man that murdered her mother. Zuko is all gung-ho about vengeance too. Of course, they both have a lesson learning moment, but that episode cemented in my brain that Aang is the better partner for Katara than Zuko. Aang, once again the most mature in the Gaang, fight me on this, has a deep, empathetic understanding of the world, he doesn't do a great job trying to explain to Katara, but I think that's because no one in the Gaang understands how Appa is not just an air bison, and Aang never views Appa as an air bison like how everyone else in ATLA do. To everyone else, Appa's an animal, but to Aang and Aang's culture that is deeply offensive, Appa is an individual with emotions and value outside of what he can offer the group in terms of transportation and that's never really explicitly clarified to the audience either (because despite being a kid's cartoon, the creators knew their audience well and did not treat the audience like we are stupid and can in fact infer and read between the lines). If Katara had killed that pathetic worm of a man, it would have absolutely destroyed her as a person. She would not have been able to heal from her trauma and would probably suffer even more trauma and guilt. This side-quest was a plot point to lead up to the big debate of killing Ozai, and not many, in fact I don't know if anyone has talked about that fact. I have no doubt that Zuko has probably killed people, at the very least, he's deeply desensitized to people dying as I think he probably at some point did experience or witness some form of warfare battle before he began chasing Aang down.

Once again, I don't really care if you do ship Katara and Zuko. In fact, I think that's a-okay. But, with the Netflix live action adaptation's take on the Secret Tunnel scene, I've seen a lot of people speculating and even hoping for it to become canon and there have even been some opinions of Kataang that have resurfaced that really rub me the wrong way because it feels like many individuals are just looking at the surface level of ATLA. There's so much nuance to each individual character in terms of culture, societal norms, age and gender, and most importantly, trauma and trauma responses. The creators did an amazing job world building and story telling that a lot of what I put up in my opinion in preference for Kataang over Zutara is information that I inferred from the show and graphic novels due to my personal experience and education in familial relationships and childhood trauma. My thoughts are not the end all be all to this debate, nor do I think they should be, I've seen some really solid opinions in favor of Zutara that I can understand and somewhat agree with. I think a lot of those details and moments that people look to as indicators of romance between Katara and Zuko were remnants of the creators' previous intention, but I think that the change to Aang and Katara as end game was logistically and realistically more accurate. I never thought that Katara and Zuko were meant to be, and I always struggled to put to words as to why until I had pursued my psych studies in college that focused on child development, childhood trauma, and marriage and family counselling. I think that the creators instinctually were seeing the red flags that would have occurred naturally within Zutara and changed course accordingly. There were just a lot of details and nuances that I noticed personally that I wished more people would discuss.

Anyways, thank you for coming to my TedTalk, I'd love to hear some of your opinions about this.

[westwingwolf]

Why the Chenford Break Up Era Needs to Come to a Close Sooner Rather than Later on The Rookie...

I've expressed my opinion on the Chenford break over several long posts in the Chenford Discord. I'm sure I've annoyed them plenty with my thoughts, but I needed a place to vent so thank you for being patient with me and letting me rant. I swear I am trying to do better, but maybe getting all of my thoughts out in once place will finally calm the beast inside me enough to hold back any further ranting. This post will focus on what should come next after the break up, and not my opinions on whether the break up should have happened at all. It's over. It's done. We're here now, and I have to accept that so I can move on to enjoy what comes next.

Anyways, I thought I would collect all my thoughts here for those of you who are not in the discord. Whether you agree or disagree with me, that's fine. I'm making this public so I know I am opening myself up to disagreements. Just know I'm likely to respond if I can, and I'm less likely to give up discussing my opinion until long after it is necessary. So fair warning, everyone should proceed with caution.

On the highly unlikely chance that someone involved with the show sees this and it makes them think about what stories the show wants to tell, then feel free to share.

I foresee this getting long as the introduction is already this long, so proceed behind the cut if you dare... (Spoiler alert: it is very long.)

First off in most typical break up storylines on television (Because keep in mind I am strictly talking about how these storylines are portrayed in fiction for maximum dramatic effect. Real life is a totally different thing.) , there are certain elements that play out in a break up that is always meant to be temporary. And make no mistake, I do believe this break up is temporary. I refuse to believe otherwise. It's just a matter of how temporary will it be. I must also commend the writers for hitting these elements in a quicker fashion than I expected. (Whether that turns out to be a good thing or not depends on what comes next, but for now I like it.)

Avoiding each other and thereby avoiding fixing the issues that caused the break up. This element is the biggest key in determining how long the break up can last. The longer the characters avoid talking to each other, the longer the break up can go on without being resolved. As we saw in 607 Crushed, Tim didn't want to talk about it while Lucy did. This set the stage for avoiding the issue. This could have gone on longer with Tim digging his heals in to avoid addressing the issue by first refusing to admit to it, but Tim actually did the adult thing and sought out help. Because he had been thinking about needing help all day and because Lucy gave him that final push to get it when he still wanted to avoid talking to her about their issues. That dramatically cuts into the waiting time of couples getting to the point where they can talk about their problems.

Pining for each other. I will admit I thought 608 and 609 were going to be episodes where Tim and Lucy avoided each other entirely to prolong more of this break up by not having them interact at all, but I was pleasantly surprised and glad to be proven wrong. They had their nice pining and awkward moment in Grey's office in 608 Punch Card. Tim spends time thinking about Lucy and being reminded of her birthday. That leads to the very sweet Kojo Birthday Card moment which leads to an even bigger moment of pining for each other in the hall.

Putting aside the relationship problems to help each other and be vulnerable with each other. In 609 The Squeeze even though Lucy is still hurt by the break up, she knows Tim is going through a lot, and so she does what she can to comfort him. Thereby showing that Lucy is still the one who brings out the most vulnerable side of Tim. He put on brave face for Grey and Angela and everyone else, but that moment of melting into Lucy's arms and answering that he is okay now that she's holding him showed just how much he was trying to hold it all in. And he immediately goes back to his brave front once the elevator doors open. Tim has always been his most vulnerable with Lucy and that doesn't change whether they are together or not. Like the Kojo Birthday Card moment, this shows that they still care about one another and they don't let anger from/resentment of/shame about the break up stop them from showing that they care.

Working together in spite of the break up. I was surprised by how quickly they had them working together after their break up. I knew thanks to spoilers that they would have scenes together in 610 Escape Plan, but I expected group scenes. I didn't expect the car scene. Talking about Tim's therapy. Joking about their sex life. They seemed more at ease together after a break up than I thought they would be. Which makes it hard to believe they can go back to any of the major awkwardness from before. A scene like where they can barely speak to each other in Grey's office coming after this kind of moment won't make much sense. Therefore they have to be out of the awkward post break up phase. Again something that significantly cuts down the timeline in delaying getting back together.

Having the talk about their issues or at least getting close to the talk. Now, Tim and Lucy haven't had the full discussion about the breakdown of their relationship and all of Tim's issues. But they are closer to having it 610 then they were back in 607. With Tim going to therapy, with the sense that he wants to continue therapy despite having a psychotic blackmailing therapist, and with the apology he gave Lucy in the elevator along with his promise to repay her kindness in whatever small doses she'll allow; all of that indicates that he is finally in a place to have the necessary discussion about why they broke up. And Lucy wanted to have this talk back in 607 so there no longer seems to be a reason to delay it.

So now with all the steps that The Rookie has already shown through the Chenford break up, it's time to think about what comes next. Typically once the characters finally have the talk about why they broke up, they tend to talk about if they can get back together. We know the show is going to have do a little bit of time jump. A couple of weeks at most. If they want the audience to see this discussion, they'll have to come up with a reason for why they delayed it instead having it almost immediately when the door was open for them to have it at least the next day after that elevation conversation. Which I will allow if only because I really want to see it. If you remember when Wopez broke up in season one; they indicated they needed to talk about their relationship, then the talk they had was off screen and the next time we saw them they were back together. Great for them, but after the emphasis on how important is is that Chenford needs to talk to each other about why Tim broke up with Lucy, I want to see it. So I'm willing to go along with Lucy needed a couple of weeks to wrap her head around the idea and gather her thoughts to confront Tim.

What I will not understand is if Lucy or Tim decide to delay this talk for a long period of time. Lucy wanted to have the talk from the beginning. Tim wasn't ready but there is clear indication that his ready now. In order for Lucy to have agency in this situation and regain the balance that she lost when Tim unilaterally decided to break them up, I do think Lucy needs to be the one to say she wants to talk about their relationship. I don't want it to be like Tim saying "I'm ready to talk about our relationship" and Lucy to respond with "Oh, now you're ready?!" Because she would have a right to be mad. And if Tim is being true about letting Lucy take the lead by accepting his proving how much he appreciates her in however she will allow, then he has to wait for her to make that decision. I can't see Lucy delaying for whatever reason for too long. Even if she is still hurt by his actions, her curiosity about the cause of the break up is too much for her to let it go indefinitely. Think about how she was in 607 where she was desperate to know why. Think about her behavior after Emmett broke up with her, and this is Tim. She cares about Tim way more than she ever cared about Emmett. If nothing else, that need to know why is strong in her.

Having the discussion about the break up has a huge impact on whether or not the break up storyline can continued to be prolonged or not. As long as they avoid having the discussion, the longer they can delay the characters getting back together. But Chenford has already reached the logical point where they should have the discussion. As I've shown above it doesn't make sense for Tim or Lucy to want to delay it, so it cannot work for character reasons. It also doesn't make much sense for storyline reasons because they've already done everything else they can possibly do during a typical break up storyline as I explained above. This is literally the last step. Any delay would strictly be done to drive the viewers crazy, and when your writing becomes so obvious as to manipulate an emotional response from the audience it veers into bad writing territory. Always try to keep the writing more subtle so that it works for a character or a storyline, and not so you can see the pipe laid out easily for the viewer.

Now that I've explained why they have to have the discussion right away, I will talk about how I think it should be handled and what I would like to happen because of it. And when I say right away, I mean season 7 premiere. I'll give them until 702 if they have a lot going on action wise, but no more wasting time after that.

As I said, I want Lucy to have agency. That means she decides when they have this discussion. That also means giving her a lot more control in what happens because of the discussion. I understand her heart is broken. Her trust in Tim is broken. However, I do not believe the answer in fixing any of that is by her deciding not to give Tim another chance right away. Her agency isn't going to be affected by her deciding to stay broken up with Tim. She doesn't somehow get more power or power back because she decides they can't be together right now. I also don't see Lucy punishing herself or Tim because she is hurt and angry. That's Tim behavior, not Lucy behavior. If she loves him, if she wants to be with him, then she will want to fight for them. Also she has a psychology background, is she really going to let Tim suffer because he was going through an identity crisis? Is that at all true the nature of one of the most empathetic characters on the show? Lucy's agency comes in guiding the story and taking control. If anything delaying getting back together, only keeps her level of agency in the relationship/break up at where it was before. If she chooses not to get back together with Tim now, then what will drive her to make that choice later? Something he does to change her mind? Some unknown time when she suddenly feels "ready"? Neither of those options show me she has control. True agency in her relationship is her saying "I want to be with you, but things in our relationship have to change for the better, and this is how I want to make those changes happen."

Which leads to the what I hope comes next. I want to see Tim and Lucy actually working on their relationship. I don't want them going the route of "Everything is better now that we had that break up and got back together so we never have to discuss the problems that led to our break up again." Like what was essentially done to Wopez. Or how every now and then Nolan kind of snarkily brings back up the fact that Bailey hid the truth about Jason from him, and when he does she looks like she wants to beat him over the head with a bat. Actually working on fixing the relationship is more interesting a storyline that prolonging a break up as long as possible only to pretend like everything is okay afterwards because getting back together somehow miraculously solved all their problems. The writers and actors told us the importance of this storyline was to show them as a real couple with real problems. Well, a real couple that wants to be together is going to work on their problems if they have any hope of staying together so show me Chenford working on their problems.

One way to show me Chenford working on their problems is through couple's therapy. I think watching Tim and Lucy in couple's therapy would be funny, heartwarming, and dramatically tension filled with angst when necessary. And there doesn't have to be a lot of sessions. At least not a lot shown. Alexi mentioned not wanting to do the static, almost repetitive nature of Tim in therapy even though theoretically he does want to show ways that Tim has continued therapy. So really all that is needed is one episode of Tim and Lucy in therapy. Bookend the scenes of the episode with the first meeting is them being funny and awkward about it. And the final scene has the more raw and emotional moments that are tough to watch but get them understanding each other better. Then the rest of the episodes all they have to do is talk about what they learned or discussed in therapy or trying some exorcises to improve communication and intimacy.

No matter what Tim and Lucy do to fix their relationship, one thing that is absolutely necessary is to show Tim's growth. He started showing this in the elevator scene in 610 by willingly be more emotionally vulnerable with Lucy. It's never been about that Tim can't be emotionally vulnerable with her. He's more vulnerable with her than anyone. It's about Tim willing to put himself out there without Lucy having to ask or work to pull his feelings out of him. He pushes his feelings down so much that he doesn't ask for help when he needs. He needs to learn to ask for help. And he needs to learn to accept that help when it is offered. I would like to see Tim have another personal crisis, but this time instead of hiding and ghosting Lucy, he tells her about it immediately. She doesn't even have to ask or notice that something is off about him, he just tells her that he has problem and he wants her help in whatever way she can help him. That shows that Tim has grown and that he trusts Lucy to allow her to see the messy parts of himself. We know Lucy has seen plenty of the messy side of Tim and still loves him, but there is a part of Tim who is still afraid Lucy will walk away if he causes too much trouble. That's part of the reason he broke up with her. As much as he wanted to protect her, he also wanted to protect himself by not having her walking away from him. In his mind he lost Isabel because he didn't do enough and she said that living up to his standards was too much for her. He lost Rachel because he couldn't move for her job, and she couldn't give up that opportunity either. He lost Ashley because he couldn't give up being a cop, and she couldn't deal with that kind of life for him. Time and again has shown him that he isn't enough for people all the way back to probably feeling like is some kind of disappoint to his dad. And anyone who stays with him is going to be dragged down by him. The sad irony in that Lucy feels the same way in how her parents treat her. Lucy is the person who can understand Tim the most and love him for all of it. So an opportunity for Tim to willingly put himself out there for Lucy would be a great turning point in their relationship to show it has changed for the better.

Now you are thinking, well once everything is fine between Tim and Lucy isn't that going to make things boring again and put us right back to where we were before? I would argue that things were never boring, but if you are asking if it is not better to prolong the break up so that at least Tim and Lucy have a storyline filled with tension rather than things going back to being good between them again, I say no for these reasons:

Because the working through their problems storyline is filled with tension and needs to happen. It is still wrought with tension of whether or not it will work out. Arguably more so than just waiting to see if they will change their minds about getting back together. Working on their issues means putting all those problems right back in the forefront. It means talking about them instead of avoiding them. It's raw and messy and potentially shows all the cracks in the relationship that has to be repaired.

A longer delay in getting back together means we are less likely to see them actually work on their problems. If God forbid, they take a whole season for Tim and Lucy to decide to get back together, then we don't get any of that. If we manage to get a season 8, and Tim and Lucy don't get back together until the season 7 finale, then what is likely to happen is we come back to season 8 with them saying they worked it all, are fine, and will go on happily with their lives. Which is great, but I'm still going to be pissed that I had to endure a season and a half of a break up and I didn't even get to see the effort of them working on their problems. And if we don't get a season 8, if the writers find out near the end of this season that it is their last and they spent so much time on this break up, then what we get is a rushed getting back together to leave us satisfied that they are together but not particularly happy in the execution of it.

Once they are back together, and even if they are happy, they still have other issues that could cause them problems. One is Lucy wants to work undercover. The other is the chain of command issue. These problems only have significance to Tim and Lucy's relationship if they are together. If Lucy goes undercover while her and Tim are broken up, Tim is probably still worried about her, but there isn't much he can do about it. If they are broken up, Lucy not being around because of UC is no different than Lucy not being around because they are broken up. It doesn't really capitalize on all the problems between them if they aren't together to make it an issue. Same with the chain of command problem. Doesn't really matter if they aren't together. Neither of these issues can be tackled to their full extent by the writers is Chenford is not back together first. And if these problems are solved before Chenford get back together, then it's taking away a potential storyline when Chenford inevitably gets back together. Becomes a little too easy for them if Lucy get a job out of being under Tim's chain of command and decides she doesn't want to do UC anymore before she gets back together with Tim. So get them back together sooner, and they can address the storyline sooner.

Now here we are at what storylines can Tim and Lucy have after they are back together, have worked out their problems, and seem to be in a good place.

1.) The chain of command issue: I get that it was a whole thing in 5B and eventually led to Metro Tim. Sadly, because I think the writers really do want to put focus on either Patrol or Detectives, that means no more Metro Tim. If we are all honest with ourselves, as much as we love Metro Tim, the show wasn't really do enough with him in Metro. They spent just as many storylines, if not more, figuring out how to get Tim back on Patrol and/or working with Lucy as they did doing his own Metro thing. For this reason, I think Tim is going to remain on Patrol until the end or when they promote/retire Grey so Tim becomes Watch Commander (which I hope also isn't until the end if they decide to retire Grey.) They came up with a storyline that still doesn't make any sense to me to keep Lucy from getting promoted to Detective in order to keep her on Patrol so I assume that means they want her to remain on Patrol for as long as possible too. (Seriously, Primm, you got promoted and presumably a position you wanted because of Lucy so take your male ego and shove it up your ass.) So that means Tim and Lucy both on Patrol for the foreseeable future. As mentioned above this isn't an issue for them until they get back together so it's not an issue the writers need to address until they get back together. And no point in fixing it prior to that if they want to have the storyline. But how to fix it?

Simple answer: Sergeant Grey says it is okay for them to date. Yeah, that seems to fly in the face of making it an issue the first time around. But Grey was also there for that time. He saw what Tim and Lucy were willing to sacrifice to be together. He saw what those sacrifices ultimately led to. He paired them to work together even when they were dating and knows they can still work together well. They weren't too terrible even during the adjustment period of their break up so he didn't have to say anything more than once about making it work. If he sees them working just as well together as they are broken up, and none of it causes problems, then he can make the call to let them date. Chain of command issue be damned if he says it is not a problem. Especially if he doesn't want to lose one or two of his best officers. At this point, Chenford has been through enough so who is really going to care? Are the fans going to put up a big fuss if it means if we get to see Tim and Lucy not only dating but also working together? If the writers insist they have to remain on Patrol, then this is a concession they have to give us to make it work.

More complicated answer: Promotions As unlikely as it seems, I say just give everyone the necessary promotions. That starts with promoting Grey to captain. (Shh. I don't care about Lieutenant. ) Grey has been treated like the show's captain since Captain Andersen died. He is always in charge for the big events. Angela and Nyla go to Grey to talk about cases even though he isn't their boss anymore because they work in the Detective department. When Tim got promoted and worked in Metro, he was the same rank as Grey and answered to Pine, and yet somehow he usually answered to Grey anyway. The LAPD is currently going through a big shake up; some higher ups were probably compromised with this whole blackmail scandal. I'm sure one or two captains could have lost their jobs/rank. Promoting Grey wouldn't really change anything storywise in terms of what he does, but it would make more sense. Once Grey is promoted, Tim becomes Watch Commander. During this time Lucy takes the sergeant exam and passes easily. Grey creates a position in which Lucy is now his aide. She becomes his right hand woman when crisis mode. She can work on Patrol as sort of a liason role like Tim had in Metro so she can keep doing Patrol storylines. And if Grey is okay with it, she can even do some undercover work when necessary. It keeps Lucy available for all potential storylines while also giving her a well deserved promotion. And she will officially be under Grey's chain of command only and not Tim's.

2.) Tim and Lucy moving in together storyline. Once Tim and Lucy are back together, things get awkward for Celina as she now takes over Tamara's role of constantly catching Tim and Lucy in the middle of kissing. And maybe other things. Only a thousands time worse for everyone because Tim is Celina's boss and they all work together. Celina doesn't want to know that much about her boss/coworker's sex life, and they wouldn't like her knowing about it either. So after some very humorous and awkward moments, Tim and Lucy discuss moving in together. Are they prepared for this? Are in they in a good place after their break up? (Which is another reason they should get back together soon rather than later so there is more time between being in a good place and moving in together so it makes more sense.) Do they want to move in together to a place they already have or find a new place all together that is all their own? If they find a new place, they don't have to worry about Tim's home looking different yet again. That's at least two or three episodes. Build up the awkwardness with Celina, have the discussion about moving in, finding a place and moving in.

3.) Lucy getting a longterm undercover assignment opportunity. This storyline would ideally happen just as Tim and Lucy feel happy and secure in their relationship and have taken a big step like moving in together. They finally have to discuss what this means for them and if they truly can handle it. I think Lucy will have to take it and they will be able to make it work because they've put in all the effort that came before with working on repairing their relationship to make it stronger. If the show gets an 8th season, I can see this as a cliffhanger so that they can use the break between seasons to be a time jump so Lucy can be UC for months without having to isolate her for too long from the rest of the characters. Come back in the season 8 premiere with the end of the assignment winding down to an big action packed finish worthy of a premiere. And then Lucy decides she hates the isolation of longterm UC because she is a social person who needs to be around the people she loves. So she never does longterm UC again, and it is no longer an issue for Tim and Lucy. If this is the final season, then same storyline and outcome but sped up over a few episodes with an even more dramatic conclusion of Tim & Lucy hating being apart so they decide to get married.

And finally, I present you with the additional benefits of getting Tim and Lucy back together sooner rather later:

Secret Dating Era Redux: Tim and Lucy hiding their relationship once again, but this time it's more difficult and potentially more funny. Tim sneaking out of Lucy's apartment early in the morning without getting caught by Celina. Tim and Lucy having to act sad about being broken up even though they are back together. Other people trying to set them up in front of each other, and having to come up with excuses to say no. All coming to the ultimate conclusion where everyone finds out they are dating again. Just want the fans wanted: the everyone finds out reveal. I say Nolan should still be the last to know.

Tim finds out out Lucy dated Nolan: Maybe it comes up in their therapy sessions. Maybe Lucy mentions it when she talks about the issue with dating a cop. Whatever the way it happens, it's best if Tim and Lucy are together when he finds outs to really milk it for a potential issue. Also great to see Tim finding ways to take out his annoyance about it on Nolan. Bonus points if it if happens during the secret dating era redux so Nolan has no idea why Tim is mad at him.

Tim and Lucy having fun arguments again: Comparing their first date to their second first date or whether it's their second second first date. What counts as their anniversary? When they started dating? When they started dating again? Do they have two anniversaries? Does Lucy only want two anniversaries because she wants twice as many presents? The list goes on and on for how they can try to put humor into the idea of the break up once they know they are going to be okay after getting back together.

So there you have all my reasons for why and how Tim and Lucy should get back together sooner rather than later. I know we all want them pining for each other. I get it, but ask yourself how much time do you really want to wait to see them get back together. After the initial break up, there was a three week break of no new episodes, then four episodes where they are broken up, and now we wait 8 months just to see season 7. So that's 10 months of dealing with this break up already, and we don’t even know how much longer it will take. Do you want to wait even longer or do you want to see Tim and Lucy fix their relationship as soon as possible?

As a treat for those who suffered through this long ass rambling of my thoughts, I present you with a snippet of my new multichapter fic which I hope to finish soon so I can begin posting it in July. It's a Chenford fic based on the Once Upon A Time tv series concept. Basically if fairy tale characters were in the real world.

After they finish their meals, Lucy brings Tamara a pillow and a blanket for the night. When Tim sees that she has brought a second pillow and blanket for herself, he asks, “What do you think you are doing?”

“Staying the night with Tamara,” Lucy answers plainly like that should be obvious.

“This isn’t a slumber party. She is still our prisoner. You actually have to guard her,” Tim insists.

Lucy scoffs in disbelief. “You don’t trust me to do my job?”

“I trust you implicitly. I don’t trust her,” he points at Tamara, “not to give you some sob story that tugs at your heartstrings and has you handing over the keys.”

“You know what? Fine.” Lucy takes said keys and opens the cell. Stepping inside she throws down her pillow and blanket on the other bed. She then reaches her arm through the bars to lock the door from the inside before tossing the keys back to Tim. “You can let me out in the morning, and not have to worry about our prisoner escaping in the middle of the night.”

“And what are you going to do if there is a fire or an earthquake?” Tim asks smugly, thinking he has the upper hand.

Lucy shrugs as she challenges him on that unlikely scenario. “I guess I’ll have to trust that you can race back here quickly enough to let us out before the building crashes down on us.”

Tim doesn’t respond. Instead he leaves, and Tamara thinks he is admitting defeat and going home. But he quickly returns with his own pillow. “Just how many pillows does Smitty keep in this place?”

“Enough to build a fort,” Lucy answers as she sets up her bed. Not surprised at all that Tim is choosing to stay.

“Figures,” Tim responds as he puts his feet up on the desk while situating his pillow between his head and his chair. “Don’t stay up too late gossiping. We have a trial to attend in the morning.”

Lucy shakes her head, but fondly tells him, “Goodnight, sir.”

Tim answers with a grunt and nothing more.

Lucy seems less interested in gossiping and more interested in telling ghost stories. “Have you ever heard the one about Gracey Manor? It’s a local legend about the mansion that rests on the highest hill at the edge of town.”

Tamara and Lucy spend the next couple of hours talking and playing with a deck of cards Lucy brought with her. When they finally do go to sleep, Tim’s eyes are still closed, but Tamara has the sneaking suspicion that he is only resting his eyes. That if any trouble were to happen in the middle of the night, he would awake alert and ready to perform his duties. She knows her own experiences have kept her mindful of never allowing herself to fall too deep into sleep, but she can only wonder why Sheriff Bradford would learn such behavior.

[apostaterevolutionary]

Collecting some thoughts on veilguard cause tbh I really don’t know how to feel lmao so. Unstructured ramble time

I’ve watched the trailer and the demo and I feel very. Idk? Still ‘wait and see’ mode for me. It’s been 10 years. Inquisition imo was the weakest of the 3. And while I have kind of moved on from DA there is a part of me that wants this to just blow everything out of the water and be amazing. I’m just not sure if that’s what I think will happen. Right now, I just think it doesn’t feel dragon age-y enough (in terms of what I, personally, consider the defining traits of the series) but I don’t want to jump to conclusions with so little information

The trailer was. Fine. Vibes were a little off but given its Varric narrating, it makes sense (also. Unpopular opinion lmao. I love Varric but I don’t think he should be a companion again. If there’s a carry over companion, it should have been Dorian. And tbh he could still be there, considering they said 7 companions but Varric is not included in that. So did they mean 7 *new* companions and maybe a few others? Advisors again maybe? Idk. Maybe Varric is a temporary companion, but I don’t think he should be there except maybe as a cameo. Scout Harding is an unexpected but fine carry over though). I don’t really have an opinion yet on the companions themselves cause there’s just. Nothing to base an opinion on other than the character designs

Gameplay demo shows that they’re definitely going very Inquisition-y. As in, continuing further down the path it started. Which isn’t unexpected, but is a bit disappointing, though not necessarily a dealbreaker as of yet. It’s probably smart tbh to go more in an action rpg direction than back to the crpg roots given it’s going to be compared to bg3 no matter what they do - better to differentiate as much as possible. Though I don’t think that’s why they did it, probably more a happy accident. I just. Idk, I found inquisitions combat a bit boring and I haven’t been impressed by what I’ve seen yet. But a 20 minute demo is probably not enough to really form an opinion

I feel like you can still see the echoes of this being a live service game at one point too. Healing potions coming from pots found in the environment (I never got over healing spells being cut btw lmao, bring back spirit healers already), the “ability wheel” (unsure about that too, given it sounds like we can’t control companion characters anymore? Kinda really don’t like that :/), stuff like that. I still feel like DA2 combat was the perfect balance between fluidity and strategy but it is what it is. It performed badly, so they’ve disregarded it wholesale rather than consider that some aspects of it may still be worth exploring. It sucks, but that’s capitalism I guess

As for all the other little things, idk, I really am not sure what to think yet lmao. Some sound good. Some less good (why only 2 companions, I don’t like that at all - also weird that the demo shows you won’t have a tank for the initial bit of the game. That’s a weird choice). Nothing to make me go aaaaaa either positively or negatively yet. I don’t even know what to say. My feelings are just so complicated about it, but also kinda empty at the same time. Like. It’s a bit of kombucha girl meme but also muted? I would like to feel just. More about it. But I don’t yet. I’m too unsure. Not quite numb, but almost tbh

At this stage, I feel like I’m gonna wait till it comes out and see what happens. No pre-ordering until I get a better idea. It’s like. With origins, I’ve played it a lot. DA2, even more - countless times lmao. Inquisition though, I played 2.5 times immediately after release and have tried to play it multiple times since but. I only ever get 10-20 hours in before I get bored and can’t make myself continue. I’ve tried many, many times and idk why but I just can’t do it. I never even played any of the DLC, so like. I kinda need to do that first if I’m gonna play veilguard but I have never succeeded before so idk how I will now lmao. But I feel like at least trespasser is necessary and I have genuinely never played it. And I gotta play the rest of the game first to get there and I genuinely don’t know if I can sksksjs

And with that in mind like. If inquisition is that unappealing to me, a game that feels very inquisition-y, potentially leaning even more into the stuff I didn’t like about it, is. Definitely not what I was hoping for. It’s still possible it’s leagues better than inquisition and actually playing it will be a great experience. But right now I just don’t know. I probably won’t be able form any kind of opinion until it comes out and I start getting info from trusted folks that I know have good DA opinions lmao

Idk. I’m not trying to be a wet blanket or a hater, and I genuinely don’t think I am being a hater at all, but I am just. Very tired and nervous. But also cautiously hopeful. I’ve said ‘idk’ a lot lmao but I truly don’t know at this stage. I guess we’ll see. Let’s hope it’s actually amazing and the very thing we need to make the series as a whole feel like it used to for us lapsed DA fans

[starcrossedxwriter]

Built for Love Part 11 (MBJ x Famous Black OC)

Warnings: a bit of angst, lots of fluff, NSFW

A/N: I don't wanna give a single thing away about this chapter so I'm just gonna say enjoy!

“What are you doing outta bed?” Michael paused scrambling eggs on the stove to throw her a glance that matched the exasperation and annoyance in his tone. “I told you I’d bring it to you.” 

Charlotte’s slippers made scuffing noises across the hardwood floor as she made her way to the kitchen island. 

“Thank you but you’ve sequestered me in that bed since Saturday and I didn’t fight you on it once. It’s Wednesday and if I lay there for one more second, I was gonna lose my mind. I’ve slept enough for a lifetime.” She glanced down at the kitchen island, heavy laden with breakfast. She spied breakfast potatoes, bacon, sausage, fruit, and biscuits. “Now who is all this food for??” 

“You,” he responded simply. “You needed sleep and now you need calories. You’ve been losing weight since we moved here and that stops now.” 

Charlotte could not deny that was true. It was unintentional but her soft curves had certainly lost much of their curviness since she moved to New York. She was not at her skinniest by any means, but the rigorous performances and practices, her regular workout routine, and the stress caused the pounds to shed without her even realizing it.

She popped a piece of cantaloupe in her mouth as she walked up to him. “This is very sweet and everything smells delicious. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Now go sit.” 

Charlotte moaned. Dr. Jordan was the strictest fake doctor she had ever met in her life. He barely gave her a chance to stand and stretch her legs. 

“Babeeeee,” she whined, wrapping her arms around his midsection. Her forehead rested on his back. “I can stand for a few minutes. He fucked up my upper body, my legs still work just fine.”

“You need to rest and relax, Charlotte. Damn,” he muttered under his breath. “Worst patient I’ve ever seen.” 

“How many girls have you nursed back to health from near death, babe? Damn, I thought I was your first for once,” she joked. However, when it fell flat, she grimaced. “Too soon?” 

“Wayyyy too soon, baby. How’re you feeling?” 

“Fi-” she started to say but remembered her promise. It included this. She pressed her lips to his back, his taunt and bare muscles flexing at her touch.“B-better. Nightmares weren’t so bad last night… just a couple so that’s progress… torturously slow progress,” she added. “And I made an appointment with my old therapist. We’re gonna do virtual sessions till I get back to LA.” 

Michael turned from the stove, still in the grip of her arms, to face her. He gave her an encouraging smile. “That’s great, Els.” He was proud of her, he knew how hard that was… that she likely felt as if she was backtracking or starting over. “Why didn’t you wake me last night?” 

“You need to sleep too, Dr. Jordan. All this taking care of and fussing over me, I know you’re not resting.” 

“I’ll rest when those heal.” He lifted her chin lightly to look at the bruising on her neck. He knew they would get worse before they got better but his eyes glazed over with rage every time he looked at her bruises, particularly the ones around her neck. He could make out exactly where his hands were, a temporary brand to what he tried to do. 

Charlotte rubbed his arm, an attempt to soothe the brewing emotions she could feel inside him. She always admired his emotional intelligence, how he was able to reign in his emotions and rage even when he so clearly wanted to find the nearest punching bag or Shaun’s face and have at it. “I’ve had worse. It always looks way worse than it feels. Well, that’s not true. The first day, it felt worse than it looked. But it’s not too bad now. I promise. And I’d rather you rest now. I really am ok.”

Despite her assurances, she could tell he did not believe her. She sighed, wondering when she would earn his trust again. That was honestly the hardest part in all this for her, knowing that her actions had caused her to lose it in the first place. 

“How long is it gonna take for you to trust me when I say that again?” She asked quietly. She wasn’t angry, there were consequences to her actions and this was one of them. But it did break her heart. She hated the idea that he did not trust her words. This was their first real issue as a couple, the first time she had to contend with them not being on the same page. 

Michael sighed, his hand going to scratch the scruff of his beard for a moment. “It’s not a question of trust, Els. Because I do trust you. And I’m not tryin’ to hold this against you. But this taught me that for better or worse, your default is to deal with your shit alone. To hide and, if needed, lie to avoid bothering or worrying other people. And I get it, I understand why. But I won’t lie and pretend like this shit didn’t shake me up a lot. Being stuck in LA knowing something wasn’t right even though you promised it was. Seeing you after the show shaken and scared and not knowing why… seeing you nearly dead on the floor when I was one room over. That ain’t shit I’m gonna get outta my head anytime soon. When you say you’re good, I wanna know that’s true. But I also know it’s gonna take a lot more than a promise and a few days for that to happen. You gotta work on trusting me with your problems and your pain and that shit takes time. And in the meantime, I’m gonna work on taking you at your word but I might also just need… some reassurances that you’re really ok.”

 She understood why Michael was being so protective. She could tell he still felt guilty, though he shouldn’t, about not being there to protect her in the first place. And now, he acted as if she needed to be wrapped in bubble wrap at all times. He barely let her out of his sight and if it was not an absolute necessity, he barely let her out of bed. She understood the impulse. If it made him feel better to fuss, she would not deny herself or him that.

“I understand. I didn’t think about how all of that would affect you… scare you. And I am sorry. Whatever reassurances you need and fussing you wanna do for as long as you wanna do it, I won’t fight you on it. Promise.” 

“Thank you.” He kissed her nose, her face scrunching up a bit. “How’s the pain?” 

“Manageable. Head is still pounding, everything’s a bit stiff but I feel like I can get up and move around a bit. Or at least move from the bed to the couch for a change of scenery. Maybe convince the best and sexiest doctor in New York to take me on a walk after breakfast so I can breathe some fresh air?” 

He eyed her suspiciously. “You sure you're up for that?” 

“Probably not up for a long one,” she admitted. “But even if it’s just 10 minutes… the cameras and reporters have finally moved on to bothering someone else. We could escape for a bit. I’m going a little stir crazy, Bakari.”

“Fine. Just for a bit then Avengers on the couch?” 

“Thank youuuu.” 

She ate quickly, finishing two plates at Michael’s insistence.  

As they went into their bedroom to change, she raised an eyebrow in shock as Michael handed her one of his favorite sweaters. She had stolen quite a lot of his clothes in the last few months, in which they basically became her clothes and he never saw them again. However, this coveted sweater had always been out of her grasp. He had always made it clear it was one of the few items that were off limits because he knew he’d never get it back. However, she had tried it on one or twice when he wasn’t home and it was like wearing a cloud, so insanely soft.

“Wow… so this whole time all I needed to do was almost die to get this?? Chile, I would’ve done that months ago to get this sweater,” she joked. Though she could see the corner of his mouth twitch, he did not laugh. “Still too soon?” 

“If it was too soon 20 minutes ago, it still is, Els.”

“Sorry, Jackson wasn’t a fan of my dark humor about dying the first time either. But it helps to find some humor in it… somewhere. And you gotta admit, it is kinda funny…” She remarked as she pulled on a pair of leggings. They still had to bundle up, one thing Charlotte did miss about LA was the perfect weather year around. 

“Ain’t a single humorous thing about any of this, babe.” 

“I dunno… I mean no, it isn’t funny. But also, it’s kinda crazy… Since I met him, Shaun’s gone out his way to try to kill me twice… and each time, I’ve survived. Like he is really bad at murder… terrible. I mean, not complaining… Thank God for it. But I would just stop trying if I was 0/2 with the same person, you know? That’s embarrassing??” That did make a small chuckle escape Michael’s lips. “See!! It is kinda funny when you actually think about it.”

“I’m ignoring you,” he called as he went into the closet to pull out their winter coats, baseball caps, and shades. Thankfully, the press and paparazzi surrounding their building had started to dissipate. They had gotten a couple glimpses of her family and Michael coming and going but none of her, thankfully. That was the only thing that would have made this whole ordeal worse, her bruised and battered form thrown across the front page of every newspaper. She knew it was still a possibility, pictures of her injuries from the hospital could leak. The downside of fame, nothing was truly private. 

She shrugged as he helped her pull on her coat. 

“I’m just saying he’s bad at killing or I am just that good at surviving,” she muttered. “Maybe they should cast me in Black Panther too?” At his confused stare, she smiled. “Cause I clearly have 9 lives like a cat? I could be like your sexy evil accomplice… The Golden Cheetah?”

That did make him laugh for the first time in several days. His hands grabbed her jacket to pull her close to him. “I’ll talk to Ryan about it, how about that?” 

“That’s all I ask.” She stretched on her tiptoes to kiss him before he took her hand to lead them outside. 

Their walk did not last too long as Michael knew it would not. Not because Charlotte was not up for it but because neither of them wanted to be out in the cold long. But she still appreciated his willingness to acquiesce to her small request. A walk was really the only public thing she cared to do, at least, until all the bruises faded. And she did appreciate the activity, she wanted to keep her limbs from going too stiff. She’d be back on stage next week, the one thing she did have to fight Michael on. Chris was on the verge of an ulcer every day she was out. He called to check on her everyday. She knew he actually cared about her but she also knew he wanted his leading lady back… ASAP. She already felt guilty ruining his opening night, the least she could do is not send him to the hospital from the stress. 

But Michael did not push back too much once she promised to have security with her, given that Shaun was officially out on bail. Restraining order or not, she and Michael were not interested in testing whether Shaun would adhere to it. She let Michael pick and vet the guy, who came highly recommended.cHis accolades included knowing more than an acceptable amount of ways to kill someone with his bare hands so she could not deny she would feel more safe in his presence. And the theater security and box office had been alerted and prepped to ensure her ex did not step foot on the premises again. And he no longer, thankfully, even had a legitimate reason to, Chris letting her know he had been fired from his investment firm immediately after the news broke. 

Charlotte knew she would not know real peace or be able to fully move on until he was behind bars, which the DA warned could take a year given the docket unless he accepted a plea. But she would accept the small wins and forms of justice that she could get, she knew it was far more than many in her position would ever see. 

As she pulled her outer layers and hat off, she got a glimpse of her hair in the mirror. 

“Ugh.” 

“What?” 

“My hair… How can you stand to look at me like this? I look like a troll doll. I’m gonna have to go to the salon or pay someone to come and wash it. I look crusty as hell.” 

“How about we relax in the bath and I’ll wash it for you?” 

Her face lit up. She remembered when they talked about a similar scene in Creed, the intimacy of helping Bianca do her hair. Her heart swelled at the idea of recreating such a moment. The role of victim and caregiver over the last few days had stripped a layer of emotional intimacy the pair was accustomed to. She knew it would come back eventually but she hoped, perhaps, this small act would speed things up a bit.

“Really?” 

He gestured toward the bedroom, taking her hand to get ready for the tub. 

Soon, she found herself resting against Michael’s chest in the bath, bubbles surrounding both of them. He did all the work, his fingertips softly massaging shampoo and conditioner in her tresses, Charlotte could’ve fallen to sleep right there.

“Can I ask you something?” Her soft voice breaking the silence between them as Michael worked diligently and carefully to avoid causing her pain. It had been on her mind since they got home, stationed at the forefront for the hours and hours she spent resting or recovering in his arms. Several days removed, the shock had worn off for both of them, she felt like enough time had passed to finally talk about things unrelated to what happened or her safety. They could talk about the future, one she prayed to God she did not completely destroy.  

“Shoot.” He took note of the nervousness in her voice. He did not know what she could be about to ask him, what could cause her to be nervous. He was an open book. 

“At the hospital… you said you wanted to marry me…” her voice grew quiet, one of her legs drawing into her chest. “Did you mean that? Do you still mean that? Or was it just, you know, you caught up in the emotion of everything?”

His massaging stilled for a moment before he answered, “Yes, yes, and no.” Simple and to the point as he resumed his task. 

He could feel her body relax against him again at his answers. 

“You don’t wanna elaborate on any of those answers?” 

He laughed. “Nah cause it’s pretty cut and dry to me. I’m pretty set on spending the rest of my life with you.” 

And that was not him just trying to assure her, it was the truth. He knew in his soul Charlotte was the end game for him well before they went on their first date. He had just been waiting for her to catch on. And once she did, every step he had taken since, including this move to New York, was with the intention of spending every day of the rest of his life with her. 

“Even after all this? After I lied to you?” 

Michael knew she still felt guilty. Between the two of them, there was much guilt to go around in their household over the last 72 hours. Some of it was fair and some of it was not. But just as he was trying to work through his own guilt, he did not want Charlotte to continue to hold onto hers when he had forgiven her.  

“Els, I meant it when I said I forgive you. And when I say somethin’, I mean that shit. Stop beating yourself up over it. I’ve loved you since the moment you walked into the studio for our screen test. And I’ve just fell more and more in love with you with every passing day. All of this changed nothing for me, except reminding me that whatever time we have together, I don’t wanna waste it.” 

Her hands played in the tall bubbles of the bath as she contemplated his words. 

“That been on your mind since I said it?” 

“Yea,” she admitted. “You know, all my time in bed gave me lots of time to ruminate,” she chuckled lightly. “It’s just… I mean we just have never talked about marriage a-and the long-term stuff. I mean and I get it, we haven’t even been together a year. But w-when you said that, it made me really happy because I feel the same about you. B-But then I just… you know, obsessed over it for the last three days wondering if all this changed your mind or made you question whether I’m the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with.”

“Nah, I would’ve married you after our first date if I could’ve.” 

Charlotte chuckled and shook her head, small droplets of water spraying everywhere. “We would’ve been skipping about 10 steps there. I want a proposal,” she laughed. “Knowing you, it’ll be something sentimental that makes me break down in tears.” 

Thank God she could not see the giant smirk that fell on his face. 

“And a big wedding, I assume?” 

Charlotte tilted her head as if to contemplate. She knew he expected the answer to be yes, after all most girls dream of a grand wedding. But that had never been her. “Honestly? I was never the girl to dream about the big princess wedding… just the prince,” she teased. 

Michael ran a comb through a section of hair, working to detangle it. He was trying to be as gentle as possible, knowing her head still hurt, which meant the whole endeavor took longer than it should have.  

“Am I living up to the childhood fantasy?” He asked. 

“My wildest dreams couldn’t have conjured you up.”

“I aim to please.” He kissed her shoulder. 

“I don’t even really care about planning it. I had to endure J and Lauren’s wedding planning and whew… miserableeee. And they couldn’t even enjoy the day that much. I dunno, I don’t want to be more worried about whether some elaborate affair is going according to plan instead of actually enjoying my wedding day? I wanna be celebrating our love and the first day of our life together. I mean yea, I want a wedding of some sort but it could have 25 people in your backyard. As long as I’m in a drop dead gorgeous dress and you’re waiting on me at the end of the aisle, I honestly don’t need or care about anything else. I’d be fine with a big one if you want one but someone else’s gotta plan it.” 

“I’ve never put much thought into my wedding so you won’t get much argument outta me. I would push back on the backyard thing though. Maybe a small destination wedding or a small venue in LA, something like that.” 

“I like the sound of that.” 

“Speaking of destinations,” he mentioned, shifting gears of the conversation. If they went too much farther down this road, Michael would find a wedding planner to plan a small intimate ceremony for next week. “I think we’ll both finally have some time off in September when you finish here. Let me take you on a trip.” 

“Oooo you tryin’ to fly ya girl out?” Michael rolled his eyes at her antics. “Where would you want to go?” 

Michael immediately shook his head. His sweet girl was the opposite of decisive. She would let Michael make every decision if she could. And this time, he wanted to go where she wanted to go. 

“Nahhh ma, it isn’t to celebrate me. It’s for you. Where do you want to go?” 

“It should also be to celebrate us both… a bit delayed sure but we never really did anything to celebrate Creed. That’s your first big leading man blockbuster.” She flipped the script on him. 

“Fine, it can be to celebrate us both but you still need to pick.” 

“I really hate you,” she laughed. “Well, at least, help me narrow it down. What kind of vacation vibe would you want?”  

“Preferably somewhere relaxing where I can have you naked or only in a bikini for most of the trip.” 

She could not hide the sly grin on her face at his words, the heat that rose throughout her entire body. She forced the feeling to dampen. They had not had sex yet and given how the other night went, she imagined Michael would pump the brakes again. She understood, but she did not want to deal with the rejection again. 

“The Caribbean is an option but September is dead in the middle of hurricane season, so we’d have to be ok with it being canceled potentially.” Michael smiled, he was never one to consider weather patterns before traveling. He barely checked the weather before he stepped outside each day. But of course, Charlotte would think about that. “We could do something like a spot along the Mediterranean? Or something like that. I’ve been wanting to go back to the Amalfi Coast but maybe we should go somewhere we both haven’t been?” 

He learned something new about his girl every day. “When did you go there?” 

“My first birthday after Shaun… My family surprised me with a vacation there. I had spent most of that whole first year miserable and in bed. The first six months were the hardest. But by the time my birthday came around, I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel but still wasn’t there. I was in therapy and still struggling to find me in all of it? And I was just really depressed so the trip was supposed to cheer me up a bit. Lauren, Jazz, one of our other friends, Chelsea, and I all went. And we had a ball,” Michael could feel her entire body light up as she spoke, as if the mere memories of that trip were fuel and power.

“We just ate and drank and ate some more and swam and went on boat rides and just… lived. God, it was the first time I felt uninhibited happiness and relaxation in years. It was kinda my Eat, Pray, Love moment as corny as that is,” she admitted. “One morning, I got up super early and went down to the beach by myself while we were in this town, Ravello. I had this necklace he gave me for my last birthday. Hideous, gaudy silver thing I’d never pick or wear myself. But I couldn’t let it go and clung to that stupid thing since the break up. Anyway, I watched the sun rise and I realized that I’d never be me again. The me before him was dead and gone. But I also realized that maybe that wasn’t a bad thing? Cause the me before him needed that necklace as proof that someone loved me, no matter how hideous and awful that love was. The me before him and during him needed any type of love, no matter the cost of it. And that part of me needed to die. So, instead of trying to resurrect the old me, I decided I would reconnect with the things that made me happy and forge something new. And then I ran into the water and tossed that terrible necklace into the sea. And then I regretted polluting the sea with something that was definitely not biodegradable,” Michael’s deep baritone filled her ears with laughter. “So long way of saying, it just represents new beginnings to me in some way. So even if we don’t go this time around, I’d want to go back with you at some point. But I’d honestly be fine with anywhere as long as I’m with you. So why don’t you just surprise me?”

“Fine. Don’t think I don’t realize you’re using my love of surprises against me.” 

She turned and winked at him before he helped her stand and get in the shower to effectively rinse out all of the products. Their afternoon of hair styling continued as she sat between his legs on the couch, Avengers playing on the tv as he moisturized and styled her hair. She savored the help, she hated dealing with her mane of hair. And the intimacy it had created was exactly as she had hoped. And he did an excellent job. Though she could tell his arms were exhausted by the time he finished tying her scarf around her clean and moisturized curls and coils into a pineapple on the top of her head. 

“You could’ve been a hairstylist in another life.” 

“You didn’t tell me it was such a work out. Boxing didn’t hurt my arms this much,” he laughed. 

“Well when you’re prepping for Creed 2 and wanna help me with my hair for extra arm training, let me know. I quite enjoyed not dealing with it for once.” 

Her injuries made it difficult to cuddle on the couch as they wanted so Charlotte laid with her head on his lap, his hand resting on her arm as they watched the movie. 

“Can I ask you something?” This time it was Michael’s turn, a question that had been on his mind for longer than a few days. He did not know if now was the right time or if there’d ever be a right time. And he did not expect an answer but he wanted her to know he would listen if she was ready to ever share it.

“Of course.” 

“And you don’t gotta answer if you don’t want to. But you never told me… what made you finally decide to leave? Was it whatever you dreamed about that night you got sick?” 

Charlotte’s eyes clenched shut. It was always a delicate balance. What of Shaun’s brutality to share and what not to. But she knew this was one of those things, the things she needed to learn to trust Michael specifically with. He was home and home was where you could bare it all… your whole soul. He asked and she would answer, no more hiding. 

“There’s a lot I haven’t told you about him. I mean a lot of it was the same old same. But somethings, I said I’d never tell anyone, Jackson, Lauren… even you. A-and that nightmare, it was bad, don’t get me wrong. Definitely made the ‘the CIA couldn’t get this out of me,’ shortlist. But the breaking point was, he saw me talking to a reporter after a show one night and thought I was cheating, God he accused me of cheating like twice a week, which just made me so upset. We argued all the way home. He asked me if I wanted to leave him a-and in my frustration and anger, I told him he wasn’t giving me many reasons to stay. Looking back, it was a real stupid thing to say, like pouring gasoline on a fire. But I w-was just so tired, tired of feeling like I was killing myself every day to be perfect and love him and getting so much pain thrown back at me. When we got home, he beat me. T-that wasn’t the bad part, that was par for the course. But then… he dragged me out onto our 11th story balcony. He picked me up and threatened to throw me off until I swore I’d never leave.” 

She watched as his entire body stiffened, his fists clenching with anger. She wanted to offer him some assurance, something to ease the feelings that brewed but there was not really anything that could be said. That story and her life just were what they were, upsetting and enraging and all. 

“He played God with my life for a few minutes, though it felt like an eternity, my body balancing on the railing like a rag doll with only him holding me there. There was one point, I tipped so far back, I actually thought he had let go and I s-saw my whole life flash before my eyes. I always thought people were being dramatic when they said that. But it’s true. Like a movie in fast forward and all I saw was every mistake that led me to that moment. When he was satisfied that I had begged for my life enough, he let me down and drug me back inside to finish the night. He knew I didn’t have much fight left in me after that,” she whispered, her hand wiping a tear. “Ugh,” she could not contain the groan of frustration at her own emotions. She hated that he still had this effect on her. “I don’t know why I’m crying over this o-old shit,” she shook her head. “He doesn’t deserve it. A-anyway, I decided that the next day that I had to leave or I’d d-die. I made a p-plan and left a week later.” 

“I’m sorry, honeybee.” There were no other words he could offer, though those sounded inadequate in the space. With every story she told him, he felt like a layer of the complex onion that was her peeled back. “I should’ve killed him,” he muttered, more to himself than to her. And it was true. The fact that he still drew breath was enraging, another thing he felt guilty for. For not ending the monster that haunted her. 

Charlotte reached over and grabbed his hand, their fingers interlocking. “Your soul is too good to be tainted by him. Besides, you did quite a number on him from what I heard. I didn’t know you had hands like that in real life, baby Creed,” she teased, thankful her joke caused a small smile to grace his features. “God, I wish I could’ve seen it… Saying that makes me feel like a terrible person,” her head fell into her hand, propped up against the back of the couch. “But j-just to see him, for once, feel a fraction of what I felt. Feels like a bit of justice for it all.” 

“That doesn’t make you a terrible person. You’re far from a terrible person. If he dropped dead tomorrow, you would be justified if you threw a damn party. Hell, I would throw a party and I only met him once. You’re allowed to want justice for all of it.” 

“Thanks.” She shifted, bringing her feet under her. “You know what’s crazy about it? I always regretted him… Regretted meeting him, agreeing to that first date, staying through all of that. B-but the last couple days, I’ve been thinking about my life right now… the last few months are the first time that I’ve felt like I was at home, like I know who I am and my soul is at peace. It’s pretty damn good. A little damaged around the edges, sure, but still so amazing that… If I had to go back and do it all again, I know in my soul I-I’d walk that same jagged path through all the pain, a-and landmines, and everything else if it was what I needed to do to end up here again, if it meant I would find home again.”

“And where’s home?” his voice was quiet as if he was worried the answer would not be what he expected, as if he were afraid to hear it. 

Charlotte tilted her head to study him, her hand going to cup his cheek, the scruff of his beard tickling her palm. 

“You.”  

Waves of guilt crashed over him, causing a tear to fall. The first one he had shed since the hospital. Charlotte whisked it away with her thumb. 

“Not feelin’ like I deserve that right now. You were in trouble and I didn’t even see it till it was too late. I never should’ve left you here. I couldn’t even keep you safe. What kinda fuckin’ home is that?” 

The guilt in his voice broke her heart. She moved, slowly and stiffly, but moved to slide into his lap. Her hands rested on his shoulders as she looked at him.

“Look at me.” It was her turn to demand as he so often did, demand that he overcome the guilt and shame that forced his eyes away from hers. She knew it was difficult, had struggled to find his eyes too many times for fear she would see confirmation of her guilt, her shame, her unworthiness. But it was never there and he would not find that in her eyes today either. 

“Every single time I’ve ever needed you, you were right on time. This was no exception. The truth is, you’ve been keeping me safe since the day I met you. I was so lost before I met you. I-I had healed my heart a-and my mind and my body as best I could. But my soul, I had vowed never to let someone so close to it again, had boarded it up with walls so high it would be impossible to let someone in again. To let someone see me again. And that was fuckin’ lonely,” she admitted. “A-and exhausting to force myself to keep my guards up like that, to deny everything I’d always wanted… a partner who saw me in my entirety and loved me for all of it. But I did it b-because it w-was better than the alternative. A-And then I met you. And you instantly knew the me I hid from everyone, you knew my soul and what it needed to finally mend. And you slowly but surely broke down every wall and barrier I had fought so hard to keep up so you could ensure I got what I needed, a safe place to land. And every day since, you’ve seen my soul in its entirety, all its light and darkness, its hopes and fears, its permanently damaged pieces and those that’ve healed. And you’ve loved me beyond my wildest dreams for it all. You are my peace and my solace and my safety every moment… that is the best home I could’ve ever hoped for.” 

She wiped her tears that fell before offering. “He w-wanted me to deny t-that. Before he…” she lifted her own eyes to the ceiling as she re-lived that moment. “Told me it was him or no one, wanted me to tell him I would c-choose him. And I couldn’t. It’s insane,” she acknowledged. “And I knew you’d p-probably tell me just to lie to save myself. But I couldn’t deny what I’ve known to be true since we kissed in your apartment in Philly. You are it for me. You are my choice every day, every time, no matter.” 

His lips crashed against hers, his arms wrapping around her tightly to pull her into his chest. Michael knew the depths of Charlotte’s love for him without a doubt. And he loved receiving a tear-inducing speech about it as much as he enjoyed doling them out on her. However, to know that, even in what could’ve been her last moments, she chose to love him loudly and unapologetically, hit his soul harder than he had ever experienced before.

No more words passed between them, each touch was a silent declaration of love between them that they did not have the words to capture. The day had laid them both bare in a way they had never experienced before or expected. And it was not their trauma guiding them, it was pure love. A desire and need to connect mind, body, and soul.

“You want… need me to stop?” He whispered as she sucked on the soft skin of his neck. In his heart, he knew the answer before the words left his mouth. He could tell in her movements that stopping would be near impossible this time. But he had to check, had to double check before they went down this road. 

She immediately shook her head. Charlotte’s brain was mush, a complete fog of desire, need, and pleasure as she kissed every inch of exposed skin she could find. She had never yearned for a person as much as she yearned for the man beneath her. She wanted everything, all of him. She knew now, in hindsight, that the first night, she had wanted him for all the wrong reasons. And she was grateful that he, once again, saved her from herself. But now, in this moment, she wanted to feel him, feel his gentle touch and caress, and savor every moment of his love for her. And she wanted him to feel her, not her brokenness and fear, but the life pumping through her veins, the love she held for him, that he was her choice. 

“No,” she whispered back, he was thankful to hear that word leave her lips. “Do you wanna stop?” 

“Not this time.” 

“Good.”

Michael immediately wrapped his hands behind her thighs and hoisted her up to carry her into their bedroom. She let him guide her to their bed, laying her down gently as he removed both of their clothes. Charlotte instinctively wanted to shrink up and cover herself, hyper aware of the bruises that littered her form. 

Sensing her thoughts, Michael immediately leaned over her and started to press his lips to each one, gentle and lingering kisses on every cut, scrap, and bruise that sent jolts of electricity through her form. A silent but touching reminder that she survived and told her he did not care how they looked. He worked his way down her body slowly but this time it was not the usual teasing he liked to do. He simply wanted to savor every second of it. 

He handled her with such care, as if she were perfectly sculpted glass that would shatter if he pushed too hard, too fast. She was not fragile, he knew that. She was strong and powerful. But her wounds were fresh. Fresh enough that he used every moment to assure her that his touch was different, would never hurt her as he had, and would never treat her body and soul with such pain and callousness. It had taken great restraint not to taste her or bury himself inside her the last few days, to be as close to her as he could, feel the life pumping in her veins. But she needed time and so did he, to reckon with what they both almost lost. 

He could feel the frenzy beneath him as he worked, her body writhing with silent pleas that begged for more.  But he did not want to rush. He remembered their first time, slow and measured as he took her apart piece by piece. He understood the impulse to rush but they had time, he kept reminding himself. Time with each other. 

He returned to her lips, a quiet directive to slow down landing on her ears.

“Slow down, baby,” he muttered, “Slow down.” Their foreheads rested against each other as he forced her to take a breath. 

“I need…” her words trailed off as she whimpered, her fingers twisted in the soft fabric of his t-shirt as if he’d turn to dust before her eyes if she let go of him. Her eyes searched his for understanding, that he knew exactly what she so desperately needed.

“I know, I know.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek, her head leaning into it to find his lips again. “Hey, hey. Look at me.” Their eyes connected, brimming with tears as she took in his undying love for her. “We’re both here, safe and sound, and no one’s going anywhere. I promise. Let me take care of you.”

At her nods, he resumed his touching until he found himself at the treasure trove between her thighs, her flower dripping and begging to be touched by the man she loved. And that was all he needed as he spread her legs and wrapped his lips around her bud.

Charlotte’s back immediately arched off the bed as he feasted on her. It had only been days but she had missed the feeling of his tongue on her and inside her. He spelled out his love for her in gentle caresses that made her head spin. 

She melted against his mouth like chocolate, her cries of pleasure crescendoing with every movement of his skilled tongue. 

“That’s it baby, let me hear you.” He slid two fingers inside of her, increasing the sensations that already threatened to overwhelm her. 

Charlotte felt as if her body was in overdrive. Her hips rocked to meet every thrust of his hand, her thighs clamped around his head as he feasted on her. It did not matter how many times his mouth found its way to her core, he managed to reduce her to a mewling puddle begging for more, every time.

And usually, she let him stay between her thighs as long as he wanted, pulling out as many climaxes as he could. But this time, she needed more. She knew he wanted to take his time, take her apart and put her back together. But she could not wait. Her soul could not wait. She needed to feel him inside her. So much had been taken from her, so much had left her feeling empty in this life until Michael. Michael filled her up where her past and present trauma only drained her. And right now, she wanted to be filled. The emptiness ached and she wanted to be filled to the brim and overflow. 

She pulled him from between her thighs, bringing his lips to hers. She relished in the taste of herself but only for a moment before she whispered. 

“I need you. Inside me. I c-can’t… can’t wait,” she panted. “W-we have all night b-but I need to feel you now.” 

He acquiesced, the vulnerability in her voice more than enough to forgo his original plan. 

He kept her eyes on his as he thrust inside of her slowly. Charlotte moaned at the delicious stretch he always provided. Months, it had been months since she first felt that stretch and it still caused a gasp to escape her lips, her eyes to see stars, and every thought in her head to shatter. 

“J-Just like that,” she whimpered, all her senses squarely focused on him and the pleasure he graciously provided. All she could feel was the sparks of bliss at the end of every stroke and the trail of fire that marked where his hands roamed as he explored her body. All she could hear were the symphony of their moans, his deep grunts as he fucked her and her screams of pleasure. All she could see were his brown eyes, a look in them that made her own eyes mist with tears. She did not know why she was crying, whether it be from the intense pleasure or the look in his eye, a look that no man before him had ever given her, a look she would have never deemed herself worthy of. The look of pure love and adoration. 

Michael’s hips drove into her over, a primal growl escaping him as her muscles clenched around him repeatedly as he curved into her g-spot, their bodies made for each other. His eyes never left hers with every push forward and retreat. 

As he pulled out every trick he could think of to please her, pour his love into her, Michael could not help but think about how he almost lost this. How he almost lost her. He had plans for this insanely beautiful woman beneath… plans to grow old with her, to celebrate every milestone and moment of his life and hers together, to build a life and family with her. And all of it could’ve been gone. He had never experienced this before, a year ago he could not even convince Charlotte to go out on a date with him but now? He could not fathom his life without her. And that brief moment where he had to consider such a life… it had shattered him in ways he never knew a person could be shattered.

“I love you,” his voice shook as tears sprang to his eyes. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

“I-I l-love… you,” she moaned back, her words choppy and broken between her pants and moans. 

His mind drifted to the ring that he kept stashed in his bedside table, hidden in a box he knew Charlotte would never bother to open or examine closely. A ring he had started to design the day after that gala, the night she told him about her ex and decided to overcome her fears to choose him.

He knew she did not believe him when he said he had known he wanted to marry her since then. It sounded far-fetched, he recognized, to know that so early. Afterall, his friends called him foolish for designing and buying a ring for a woman who rejected him mere months prior. “Take your time,” they had all cautioned. “Make sure she is what you want.” But Charlotte was the one thing, the only thing, in this universe that he did not need time to consider, that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wanted. And he used this moment, every second spent in her sanctuary to show her how deeply his love for her ran, past his mind, past his heart. He loved her with every fiber of his soul. 

“You know how beautiful you are?” He asked as he draped her legs over his shoulder and leaned over to rest his forehead against hers. Charlotte gasped at the angle, he had not changed his pace one bit but this position allowed him to reach the depths of her pleasure center. Those tears she had kept in now spilled over as his words filled her heart and he filled her body with every stroke. That ache of emptiness? Gone. She was overflowing. “Do you know how much… I love you?” 

She cried out, unable to form real words or thoughts beyond obscenities and his name, which flowed without thought from her lips. 

“I’ll spend every day of my life loving you, keeping you safe. There’s nothing in this world I won’t do for you, Els. Nothing. ” His word was punctuated by a particularly deep thrust that turned Charlotte into a babbling mess as she came. “That’s it, baby. Cum for me.” 

“More. Harder. Everything you have, please,” her voice was strained, trying to speak while her body calmed down again. She understood his gentleness, appreciated it. But now, she wanted to feel him in the depths of her bones. She was his and she wanted to feel that in every ounce of her being.

Michael helped her flip over onto her stomach, this time instructing her to hold onto the headboard so she did not have to lay on the bed. He allowed her a moment to situate herself in the position he so enjoyed. He still practiced some restraint, refusing to unleash his usual power onto her still healing body. But he loosened the reins just enough to give her what she wanted and needed. 

There was nothing slow about how he rammed into her, her body thrusting forward with every delicious slam of his hips into hers. She was thankful he thought of the headboard, giving her the leverage laying face down on the bed would not have and protecting her bruises. 

“Yes! Y-Yes! T-thank you,” she moaned out as he fucked her with abandon. She surrendered to the pleasure, her screams bouncing off the walls as he made her cum again and again and again.

He took her in any and every position that would not cause her pain. He buried his face between her legs and feasted off of her before plunging into her again, Charlotte allowing her body to be at his mercy. They had all night and all the time in the world and she wanted him to use every moment of it. 

***

When Charlotte stirred again, she glanced over to find Michael sound asleep next to her. It was still dark outside, the clock reading 4:30 am. She laid there for a few moments, letting the soft sounds of Michael’s soft snores fill her ears. She turned and watched him for a few moments, the steady rise and fall of his chest. As she listened to him, the final part of a song she had been writing swelled in her heart. And when the pen called her, she did not dare ignore it. As quietly as she could, she climbed out of their bed and wrapped herself in her robe. 

She tiptoed out of their room and into the living room, grabbing her pen and notebook before retreating to the balcony of their apartment. She had rarely been out here, her own fear of them and the frigid New York winters keeping her from enjoying this one feature of their home. But tonight, not even her past or the cold chill could send her back inside. She curled up in a blanket in one of the chairs as she listened to the bustling sounds of the city fill her ears. 

It did not matter what time of day it was, New York City was always awake, always moving, always alive. Her lungs breathed in as much of the frigid air as they could before she breathed it back out. She knew she could not stay out there too long, it was freezing. But she also knew this was the only spot her singing would not wake up her sleeping boyfriend. 

Baby, the sound of you

Better than a harmony

I want you off my mind

And on me

Holding me closer than we've ever been before

This ain't a dream

You're here with me

Boy, it don't get no better than you

For you, I wanna take my time

All night

She closed her eyes, curled in a small ball, as her siren song filled the night sky though she knew no one but her and God would ever hear it. But that was fine, she preferred it. This was just for her, just for her to commemorate the love she found and was grateful to God for.

I wanna love you in every kind of way

I wanna please you, no matter how long it takes

If the world should end tomorrow and we only have today

I'm gonna love you in every kind of way

Give you all, give you all of me

Her eyes only opened at the faint creaks of a door, surprised to find Michael standing in the doorway of the balcony as she finished the last line. However, as she started to stand and finish singing, he shook his head. 

“Don’t stop. I wanna hear you.” 

And so she continued, this time, her eyes on his as she finished her song, the second verse she had been struggling with flowing from her lips as if it had lived in her heart all along. 

When you need it

'Cause I need it

I wanna fall like your favorite season

I'll never get up

Stay here forever, babe

It don't get no better than this

Your kiss

I wanna love you in every kind of way

I wanna please you, no matter how long it takes

If the world should end tomorrow and we only have today

I'm gonna love you in every kind of way

I wanna love you in every kind of way

I wanna please you, no matter how long it takes

If the world should end tomorrow and we only have today

I'm gonna love you in every kind of way

When she was finished, she sat up in the chair and glanced at him. 

“I’m sorry, thought going out here wouldn’t wake you.” 

He shook his head. “Bed’s cold without you, went looking for you and heard your voice. Wanted to hear you.” 

She smiled. “I’m glad you heard it… it was about you anyway,” she winked. “Back to bed?” 

“Umm… before we g-go,” he stammered slightly, Charlotte surprised to find a nervous energy suddenly surrounding him. He was usually so confident and assured, nervous was a rare emotion on him. “I have something for you.” He meandered to the balcony railing, standing directly in front of her before he pulled out the arm that he had bent behind his back, a small black velvet box in his hand. 

“You didn’t need to get me anything,” she offered with a small smile. If he had not been so nervous, he would have laughed at how she missed the obvious. The size of the box really only lent itself to one thing and she had not picked up on it yet. “Though I’m sure it’s beautiful.” 

He slid the box into her hand, Charlotte expecting to find a necklace or pair of earrings or something small nestled in the luxury box. However, all the wind seemed to knock out of her as she opened to find a sparkling and mesmerizing engagement ring, a giant pear shaped diamond set in the center with elegant but subtle diamonds nestled in the rose gold band around it. It was simple and yet, the most gorgeous ring she had ever seen in her life.

She glanced up from the box to find Michael in front of her on one knee. Every question that rose to her lips immediately vanished, caught in her throat as shock swept all of her senses. Her heart was beating so hard, she wondered if it was possible for it to beat straight out of her chest. 

“A-are you serious? I-If this is j-just a dream…” she whispered, her eyes moving to the sky as if she was talking to God. 

“N-No, this is real. Charlotte, I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. Every day, you love me with your whole being. You support my dreams, however far fetched and foolish they may seem, you push me to be the best man I can be. Not just for you and my family but for myself. With you, I’ve always been right at home. Falling in love with you is both the greatest decision of my life and the easiest one I’ve ever made. And every day, I thank God for bringing you and your beauty, your laugh, your spirit into my life. I don’t know what the future looks like, I don’t know how much time we have with each other. But I know that I want to spend every moment of my life loving you and being loved by you. So, this is me being sentimental and making you break down in tears,” he joked to their earlier conversations. “Charlotte Elsbeth Bennet, will you marry me?” 

Charlotte’s breathing was choppy as she took in his words. Tears flowed earnestly as she tried to form a sentence.

“M-Michael… God I love you so much. B-But are you s-sure about this? I k-know with everything that’s happened… W-we haven’t even been together for a year. Are you s-sure I’m what you want?” 

“I’ve had this ring for months… I started designing it the day after the gala last summer. I was waiting for the perfect moment, wanting to plan the perfect proposal for you back in LA. But what happened reminded me that I don’t want to waste our time planning perfect or ideal moments. I just want to live in all those moments with you, by my side. All day, something kept pulling me to this ring, telling me that this was our moment. And I think it’s because our best moments, the realest ones for us, are just us… being us, comfortable and safe with each other. No planning, no overthinking, no obsessing. Just being home with each other. So here I am, unsure about so much, the future and where this life will take me and us. But this moment,” his hand rubbed her knee, her face covered by both her hands as she quietly cried. “This decision is the surest I’ve ever been in my life. I am sure about you. I’ve never been so certain that you were the woman for me. Marry me.” 

Charlotte immediately launched herself from her seat and into his arms, the small box still wrapped tightly in her hand as she held him. 

“I love you so much,” she whispered before kissing him, her body resting on his bent knee. 

“I love you too…” he paused, realizing he never actually heard the magic word. “So is that a yes… or?” 

She let out a watery laugh. “A million times, yes! Yes, yes, yes!” The box fell in her lap as she cupped his face in her hands. “ Now you’re really stuck with me, Mr. Jordan.” she teased as her hands wiped the tears that flowed earnestly from her eyes.

He took the box from her and slid the ring on her finger, his heart swelling at how she admired the piece. She was not much of a jewelry wearer so he went for a ring that was simple, one she would not mind wearing every day, but was worthy of her hand. 

He wiped a tear from his eye and chuckled. “Good, that’s what I was hoping for. Mrs. Jordan has a nice ring to it.” He pressed his lips to her ring finger. His deep baritone filled the cold air as he let out an excited yell, standing and spinning Charlotte around. “Wanna go to the courthouse tomorrow?” 

“Slow downnnnn. Another surprise this week might actually kill me,” she laughed. “Anndddd I wanna be my usual flawless self for our wedding photos,” she gestured toward her bruised face. 

“You’re always flawless to me.” 

“Alright I already said yes, don’t lay it on so thick,” she offered in jest, causing him to pepper her face with kisses. 

“Well how about I take you back to bed and warm you up and I can make you say yes a couple more times?” 

She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “I think I’d rather you make me scream it.” 

“Oh that was always the plan.” 

And before she knew it, Michael had her on her back, their hands interlaced on the pillow as he made her scream that beautiful word over and over again until the sun came up.

Tag List: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @hi888888sworld @msniaimani @destinio1 @lynaye1993 @chaoticevilbakugo @blackerthings @pipsqueak-98 @miyuhpapayuh @passionxwrites @gopaperless @injerafiend

A/N: Our babiesssssss!! I went back and forth on the proposal scene for a while lol and this just felt right so I hope you all enjoyed it! Every Kind of Way by HER is one of my favorite songs. This is not the end of our story buttttt we are getting close. Just three or four more chapters to go.

Drop a comment and let me know what you think/let me know if you want to be tagged!

[selineram3421]

*shimmy shimmy with the meow meow*

Temporary Control

Part 4

Part 3

Warning! ⚠

⚠ using she/they for reader, blood/gore(descriptive injuries), angst?(half asleep, hi.), kisses, time manipulation, fake prostitution, Vox is stupid, tasing, implied torture at the end ⚠

After confirming it was your beau, you checked him for taser burns and found a few.

You cringed at the sight on his chest, his dress shirt peeling off with some blood and skin stuck to it. Tears formed at the corners of your eyes when taking the sight of all of him in. Dazed, bleeding, burned off skin, unable to smile properly.

"I'm so sorry..", you hiccupped, trying your best to keep strong but fail to hold back your emotions.

"Nonsense darling.", he said, lifting a hand up to cup your cheek, wiping a falling tear away. "You did the right thing considering the circumstances."

You hold onto his hand with both of yours and lean into his touch, closing your eyes when more tears start to run down your face as you kiss the palm of his hand.

"It still hurts.", you mutter with a shaky voice.

"I know love.", he whispers. "Look at me?"

Blinking your eyes open, you slowly turn to look at him, brows furrowed when seeing how badly burnt his neck is.

I hurt him..

"-m, am sho proud of you..", he said, voice starting to slur.

You felt your heart ache and quickly flipped your hour glass to where the least amount of sand was on the top.

"Alastor? I'm going to reverse time on your body ok? So you'll be ok again.", you said moving his hand back down on the bed. "All we have to do is wait for the last grain of sand to fall and-"

"No,no.", he rasped out and tried shaking his head, moving his hands to try and flip the hour glass in your midsection.

"I'll be fine. Promise.", you say and hold his hands back. "All that's going to happen is me being stuck, that's all.", you reassure softly.

You knew why he was scared.

It only happened twice before. Once was when you did it yourself when testing your powers, and the second was done on accident by the princess who was curious. Moving the glass backwards instead of forward was not the best.

Time must move forward.

And the consequence for trying to reverse something was excruciating pain.

He was there to witness your frozen form after it happened the second time.

"You'll be ok. And I won't stay frozen for long, I have you to flip the glass forward.", you give him a smile. "I trust you."

I'm glad I never told him the details. You thought and felt the sand start to run out faster.

Pulling his arm, you made him push the hour glass back as the last grain fell. There was the familiar feeling of everything shutting down and starting back up all at once. You gasped, eyes wide as your lungs collapsed, heart straining as it worked hard to keep itself going.

In response, you tried breathing but it was too short. Too fast for you to take in a proper breath.

You felt like you were burning inside and out.

.

Alastor watched as they started to gasp, trying to breathe but it was too fast. Very much like someone having a panic attack.

He tried to flip the hour glass forward but they still had a strong hold on his wrist, he couldn't get up yet.

The feeling of his skin healing as fast as the falling grains felt so odd, it was like an itchy scab but he knew better, even if it was annoying he wouldn't touch it.

It was taking too long, he wanted to regain enough strength so he can sit up and flip the glass. He hated feeling weak, but most off all, he hated seeing them like this.

Focusing back on them, he saw that only a quarter of the sand had fallen and there was still more to go.

Damn it all-

Waiting was the only thing he could do at the moment.

Closing his eyes, he listened as the sand fell and counted in his head, wanting to know how long they would be stuck in place for.

She finally took in a proper breath after the last grain of sand fell, it was almost an hour when he stopped counting. Sitting up, he quickly flipped the glass forward and they fell into his arms taking deep breaths.

"Are you alright darling?", he asked pulling them into a hug.

"I'm-", they took in another deep breath. "I'm fine."

"Please don't do that again.", he holds them tighter, making sure to be careful with the glass.

"I can't promise that if you're really hurt.", they mumble and hug him back. "I'll only use it for emergencies, ok?"

The Radio Demon sighs, knowing he's not going to get them to fully agree to not using their time reversal abilities. It was better than nothing though.

"Only for emergencies."

.

You and Alastor walked out of the hotel arms linked. Charlie and Angel following behind the two of you.

"What if someone attacks the hotel?", the princess asked nervously.

Both of you stop just a few feet away and only you turn around.

Charlie had heard the screams that night and so did most of the hotel staff. Angel was the only guest that knew because he was just nosy and sat outside of your room thinking something else was going on.

"Vagatha has had no problem defending the hotel before, yes?", the deer demon says and summons his cane into his hand.

"No, but you guys could just not go get revenge..?", the blonde suggests lifting up a finger.

Alastor begins to chuckle with his eyes closed.

"Say, Alastor. Let's just leave it up to fate.", Charlie says.

That breaks him and he begins full on belly laughing, eyes snapping open and in opposite directions.

Seeing him look so silly, you begin to laugh as well.

"Yes, leave it up to that thing.", the spider demon says sarcastically.

Your beau is now cackling with his eyes closed again. Letting the last of his laughs die out by sighing.

"Sorry Charlie, we won't do anything too bad.", you promise with a smile. "I'll make sure he doesn't go too far, we'll just give Vox a real good spook, ok?", you say making eye contact with her.

"Hn..well...", the princess pats the sides of her pants with her hands, thinking over your proposal.

"Please?", you say and hold onto Alastor's hand to try and stop him from laughing again.

"Fine-", she sighs.

A portal opens up right after she agrees and you step through it with your love.

"We'll be back with goodies! Bye!", is the last thing you say before the portal closes.

You had dressed up a little bit for this, fixing your short dress and making sure that nothing was out of place. Looking down, you saw red eyes appear from your shadow and waved.

"Hi love, ready?", you ask, earning a nod in return.

Walking over towards the biggest building in the television center, you enter and go straight up to the reception desk.

"Hello, I'm here to see Vox.", you tell the demon behind the counter.

They glance over, looking up your form before looking back at their computer screen. You can feel Alastor's anger, tapping your foot lightly on the shadow to remind him to be patient.

"Name?", the demon asks.

"Hera. I got sent here by Valentino, something about cheering his friend up.", you lie with a smile.

"Explains the outfit.", they say under their breath and pick up the phone.

You have to pretend to drop something in order to stop your boyfriend from tearing up the receptionist. "Later.", you whisper before standing up and fixing the skirt of the dress.

"Sir, Valentino sent a girl over. Do you want-? Ok.", they hung up the phone and look back over at you. "You'll be escorted by security."

Right after they finish saying that, two hellhounds walk over.

"Follow us miss.", the shorter one of the two says.

You follow them to an elevator, where you see them use a key card to get it open. After going inside you can see that the building has fifteen floors.

While on the way up, the elevator ride is boring and you can tell that the two hellhounds don't get paid enough by the way they act. Once it reaches the top floor, they guide you over to the door at the end of the hallway.

One taking your bag for a safety check.

"Lipstick, eye liner, mints, condoms-", they list off.

"Its the usual Sam. You know Valentino wouldn't send them up with weapons.", the other says, opening the double doors.

"What? I can't do my job Dean?", the taller one huffs and hands back your bag. "You're good to go miss."

"Thanks boys.", you give them both a smile and wave. "Quit this job, its not worth the pay."

The doors close behind you and you take in the room.

Its very modern.

Sleek black office desk, big leather office chair, big windows, and a bunch of screens.

You see Vox sitting on the biggest couch in the room, and when he notices you, he makes a glitching noise of surprise.

"What the fuck-", he starts.

"Surprise!", you say extending your arms out. "I'm here to have fun."

Just like you expected, the idiot before you gets the wrong idea and pats his lap.

Playing along, you get closer and lean in close.

"I whipped up something extra special just for you.", you hum and stand straight, taking out the lipstick from your purse.

"Oh yeah? Show me-", he says with a sleazy smile but it switches into pain in a quick second.

"Lipstick taser!", you sing out while he convulses on the couch.

Alastor rises out of the shadow from behind you with a creepy laugh, wrapping his arms around you.

"My darling, you are an absolute genius.", your man in red says and kisses your cheek. "I can't believe how easy it was to get in here.", he chuckles.

"It wasn't that hard to guess what would happen.", you laugh, caressing the side of his face with your hand.

Finally lifting your finger from the button, Vox collapses on the couch, twitching and screen starting to turn blue. You let your love take your place and head over to the seat across from the couch.

"Sit back, relax, and enjoy~", you say sitting down and making yourself comfortable.

Your smile widens after seeing the T.V. demon's terrified face.

"I know I will."

Alastor then begins his fun.

Hehehehehehehehehe-Hahahahaha! AHAHAHAHA! *don't mind me, I'm just sleep deprived*

~Seline, the person.

Extra: Ideas and notes

Taglist@

@ducky-died-inside @c4rved-pumpk1n @willowaudreykeyes @bisexualboba @stolas-thebirb

ML for Alastor🎙

ChL for TC

[hotshotsxyz]

thirteen threads

(6x12 companion) (1.7k words) (buddie adjacent) in which buck begins to identify the many things he feels following his near death experience. spoilers for 6x12

It’s in Eddie’s kitchen that Buck begins to unravel the tangled web of emotions that began weaving itself between his ribs the moment he was struck by lightning. 

The feeling he finds there is relief. It’s shaped a little bit like the couch he’d fallen asleep on, and a little bit like the beer in Eddie’s fridge. Buck draws it in with every breath, and lets himself feel it on every exhale. There’s more, much more that he needs to examine, but bathed in the soft glow of the living room lamps and blanketed by the comfortable silence between them, Buck decides that for a moment, it’s alright to feel just one thing. 

Eddie’s phone buzzes on the table, immediately drawing Buck’s eye. He’s surprised to see his sister’s name, but only because it took her this long. Eddie huffs a soft laugh, picks up the phone and stands. 

“Buck’s fine,” he says, as soon as the call connects. 

Buck can hear Maddie’s voice, but he can’t make out her words. 

“He’s asleep on my couch.” Eddie shoots a wink in Buck’s direction. 

Buck ducks his head and smiles. 

Eddie hums noncommittally at whatever Maddie says next. “Just a little overwhelmed, I think. Give him some time.”

A few moments pass, and Eddie’s expression shifts minutely. 

“I promise,” he says, solemn and soft. After another moment, he relaxes. “Goodnight Maddie,” he says. “I’ll tell him.”

Eddie hangs up the phone and returns to the table. 

“I maybe should’ve told her where I was going,” Buck says with a wry smile. 

“Maybe,” Eddie says, eyes sparkling the way they do when he thinks something is funny. 

“Not gonna ask me why I didn’t?”

Eddie shrugs. 

Buck scrubs a hand through his hair. “I guess you already know,” he says. 

Overwhelmed. That’s the second feeling he finds. 

…

Exhaustion, Buck discovers when he wakes on Eddie’s couch in the morning, is the third. It’s easier to unravel than the others, clearly visible from its point of origin all the way to the home it’s made in him. Physically and emotionally, Buck is tired. 

It’s not a new feeling, not by a long shot. It’s a little like an old friend, actually, comforting in its familiarity. Exhaustion is temporary. Exhaustion tells him that he’s still healing, that he won’t be stuck in his own head forever. 

Buck sends Bobby a quick text, one that receives a response almost immediately. He wonders for a moment what woke him, but doesn’t have to wait long to find out. 

He hears Christopher before he sees him, and immediately a smile stretches across his face. Buck sits up, and within seconds has an armful of the best kid in the universe. 

“Hey, kid,” he says, voice still raspy with sleep. 

“Hey, Buck,” Christopher replies. He pulls back and sits on the coffee table. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” Buck says. “I missed you!” He ruffles Christopher’s hair. 

Christopher narrows his eyes, and for a moment, he looks exactly like Eddie. “You’re lucky I just woke up,” he says, patting his hair back down. 

A bright peal of laughter slips from Buck’s lips. 

In this moment, Buck feels warm. 

…

On the way to his appointment, Maddie calls. Buck feels a flash of frustration, followed in an instant by guilt. The two intertwine, and settle somewhere above his diaphragm. 

“Hi Maddie,” he answers. 

“Hey Buck,” she says. Her voice, contained by his Jeep’s speakers, sounds small. 

The guilt in his chest grows and squirms. 

“Are you on your way to the doctor?” Maddie asks. 

Buck swallows against the inexplicable urge to snap and slows to a stop as he reaches a red light. He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yep,” he answers, trying not to let any irritation bleed into his voice. 

“Is everything okay?”

“Maddie, I’m fine,” Buck says, just a little too quickly. He can practically hear the frown on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry,” he says after a moment. “I really am okay. I just…”

Buck tries to follow the frustration to its origin, tries to find the words to explain why he can’t embrace her questions and worry with the same enthusiasm he’d had for Christopher and comes up empty. 

“It’s okay, Buck,” Maddie says gently. “I know this is hard.”

An ugly part of Buck wants to snap, no, no you don’t know, but Buck pushes it ruthlessly down. “I think I just need some time,” he says instead. 

“Okay,” Maddie says. “Just… don’t let yourself spiral alone. You know I’m here for you, whether you want me to be or not.”

Unexpectedly, Buck is hit with a flood of gratitude. “I know,” he says softly. “I know I’m not alone.”

He’s surprised to hear himself say it, and even more surprised to find he means it. Countless emotions lay tangled in his chest, but loneliness is not among them. 

…

The waiting room is quiet and sterile. Buck’s far from the only person sitting in it, but aside from the occasional clearing of a throat, no one makes a noise. It’s oppressive in a way the quiet hadn’t been the night before, and Buck feels stuck in it, choked by it. 

Time seems to move like molasses as Buck watches the interminable jerking motions of the second hand on the clock before him. Impatience, he thinks, is what he’s feeling now. 

Impatience is as familiar to Buck as exhaustion, and he’d half expected it to be the final knot he needed to unravel in order to begin processing, as Eddie put it. Maybe he’s grown, though, because it only really feels like a peripheral piece of the mess in his chest. 

A nurse calls his name, and it seems to evaporate. He’s sure it’ll come back when he finds out what test is next, but for now, there’s one less loose end to strangle him. 

…

At first, when Dr. Salazar asks how he’s feeling, Buck tells her what he knows to be true. 

“I’m getting my strength back,” he says, waiting for the next shoe to drop. 

When it does, it’s not the one he’s expecting. The newest feeling in his chest, draped delicately over the others, is disbelief. 

“Really?” he asks when Dr. Salazar says he can return to work. He kind of wants to prod her, to remind her what it is he does for a living. It’s not like he’ll be going back to a pile of paperwork. 

Well, actually he will, but that’s not really the point. 

“Do you want a second opinion?” she asks, and the thing is, Buck kind of does. 

Not because he doesn’t trust Dr. Salazar, he does, but because he’s all too familiar with the heartbreak of getting the all clear and having it pulled away at the last second. 

Buck remembers the pain in his leg that he would’ve sworn was just a pulled muscle and finally puts a name to the feeling that’s been driving his anger every time someone asks if he’s okay. 

Dread. The feeling that something terrible is still around the corner. That the universe is holding its breath, waiting for Buck to let his guard down. 

The only constant Buck’s ever really had is change, so when he asks, he half expects Dr. Salazar to say that everyone comes out the other side different. Instead, she tells him, in a way that makes Buck think of Bobby more than anyone else, that everyone finds their own way back. He thinks he understands why Eddie recommended her. 

“Thank you,” Buck says finally. “I think that helps.”

“You’re welcome,” Dr. Salazar says with a nod. “And Mr. Buckley– if you find yourself struggling with this experience more than you expect to, I have resources I’d be happy to share with you. It’s not unusual to have mixed feelings in a situation like this.”

Buck ducks his head and smiles. “Someone else said the same thing. He, uh– he said the best thing I could do is let myself feel them all.”

Dr. Salazar smiles. “He sounds like a smart man,” she says. 

“He is,” Buck agrees. 

…

Buck doesn’t call Maddie to tell her the good news. He doesn’t call Bobby or Eddie either. He doesn’t call Hen, and he doesn’t call Chim. Instead, he walks until he finds himself on a bench in front of a small pond. 

If it weren’t for the fountain in the middle, the water would be placid, undisturbed by wind or rain on this sunny day. Buck knows better than to think that nothing bad can happen on a beautiful day, but this one in particular feels safe. He wonders if that’s a feeling he can trust. 

As he watches the ducks swim and occasionally dive, Buck finds himself again poking at the mess of emotions in his chest. 

There was a time when he’d have done anything to hear that he was cleared to work. His job is who he is. Hell, he’d said as much to evil-him in his coma dream. So there should be happiness, somewhere in that tangled web. Excitement, maybe. As much as he digs, though, Buck can’t find it. 

Relief. 

Overwhelm.

Exhaustion. 

Warmth. 

Frustration. 

Guilt. 

Irritation. 

Gratefulness. 

Disbelief.

Impatience.

Anger. 

Dread.

Buck stands from the bench and turns his back to the lake. There’s something left, something that tangles with everything else and constricts his chest when he tries to breathe too deeply. He looks up at the sky, and instead of clear azure, he sees dark clouds and rain. 

Cold water pools in the divots of his skin, and he hears himself volunteer for a job he knows is going to kill him. His vision goes white, and all that remains is pain. 

Buck blinks and the sky is blue. 

The final piece of the puzzle comes loose, a corner piece laid before him that is mocking in its simplicity. 

Fear. 

Buck is terrified.

[tsaiko]

So the infamous letter that someone wrote their friend who was in the hospital with memory issues is making its way around Tumblr again. Which reminded me of a story idea I had where my version of Black from Swapfell wound up in the hospital and someone wrote a letter like it for him

Then I had the idea that Blue wrote the letter, and I couldn't stop writing until I had this. Enjoy.

***

READ THIS

Hi Sans! You’ve lost your short-term memory. This paper will update you on your condition, as your memory right now only lasts about five minutes, and you are asking the same questions again and again.

Where am I? You are in the ICU at Mt. Ebbott Memorial Hospital. Yes, this is the hospital with the good coffee. I made sure you didn’t go to “that pisshole hospital where the coffee is shit.”

What is today/How long have I been here? Today is August 4th, 20XX. You’ve been in the hospital since Aug. 1st. We were walking back from the grocery store, crossed the street, and someone ran a red right. You got hit trying to make sure I didn’t get hit. I would have been fine! I have high enough HP and had some armor on under my sweater.

What is wrong with me? The doctors think that the impact jarred the mana connections in your skull. You also have a broken arm, three broken ribs, a dislocated hip, and a bruised soul. Healing magic stabilize all the broken bones, but your mana lines and your soul have to heal on their own. The biggest issue right now is your sort term memory loss and confusion. You can talk and you recognize everyone, but you keep asking the same questions again and again. The doctors are hopeful that the memory issue and confusion are temporary and will resolve as your mana connections reform. However, there is a chance this could be permanent.

What am I going to do if my memory stays like this? We will support you. Slim will will still be there for you. I will still be there for you. We can get through this. Red has already asked if we can start a poker night and make sure you are invited five times. The joke is getting old.

Where is my brother? Slim is usually here. Sometimes he leaves to take care of your fish or shower or sleep, but he always comes back! He is doing fine. Stretch and Edge are making sure of it

Are we on the surface? Yes! You seem very confused about this. You and Slim went through a portal and are on the surface. You are not back Underground. No one is trying to deceive you or hurt you. Please stop threatening the doctors.

Did you put the groceries up? Unfortunately, most of the groceries got damaged by the car or lost in the excitement. Do not worry! I’ll replace them. You don’t owe me anything because they got messed up because you were trying to protect me.

I’m thirsty. There is water on the bedside table. No, you cannot have a beer.

Why is that bunny monster so familiar? That’s Jessica. She’s your nurse. She refuses to be intimidated by you. You keep calling her Captain and then being confused about it.

Do you think we could get this tile installed in our bathroom? You really seem to like this tile. You’ve asked about it so many times. No one knows what brand it is. But maybe we can go look when you feel better!

[littleskeletonprincessss]

Memory

A/N sorry this is kinda trash

3 AM drives had become a tradition for you and Dream. His sleep schedule was already fucked up and you couldn't sleep without him curled up next to you. It was a way to unwind from the days stressors, just the two of you against the world.

Unfortunately, 3 AM was also when those who should have been cut off hours earlier decided they should fall asleep somewhere more comfortable than a barstool.

The drive was just like any other, Dreams hand lounging on the steering wheel and the other warm on your thigh. Radio blasting a playlist full of old songs that you'd both grown up listening to, both of you belting the words at the top of your lungs, laughing and just being together.

Everything happened so fast after that.

The other driver didn't even have time to try and swerve, to try and avoid hitting the car. When you'd first woken up, Sapnap informed you that the coward just drove away, not bothering to contact anybody. You'd suffered a broken leg and arm, as well as a small concussion, but that was the extent of your injuries.

Dream was far worse.

The car was totaled, the initial impact T-boning the drivers side. Dream had broken bones, blood loss, and a severe concussion. And he hadn't shown any sign of waking up soon.

Once you were discharged you went straight to his room and just...sat.

It hurt to look at him. His shining eyes shut, one bruised bleeding, an impossible frown settling on his lips, a bandage flattening the fluffy hair on his forehead. Wires were connected to him, machines beeping monotonously, IVs delivering a clear liquid into his vein.

"Dream..." you whimpered. You'd give anything to have him back.

Sapnap and George took turns visiting, as well as Dream's family members. They'd try convincing you to go home and rest, get some real sleep, but you always said you were fine. George would bring you meals from the cafeteria, and you'd pick at them, but never enough to fill you stomach. You didn't know if you'd be able to keep anything more down.

Finally a week later the machines started beeping faster. Dream was making progress, pulling through.

Everyone wanted to be there to see his eyes open for the first time. The staff tried their hardest to prevent it, but when Dream finally woke up, all of you were at his bedside.

"Dream, Honey?" His mom whispered, trying to hold back tears.

"Mom? Dad? What happened?" You could see Dream wince from the hoarseness of his voice, trying to clear his throat. "Water?"

"You were in a pretty bad accident about a week ago." George answered.

Dream took a cup of water from his dad's outstretched hands. "Hey, guys." Dream nodded towards George and Sapnap.

"Dream." You breathed, almost scared that this was a dream and you'd wake up and he'd be asleep still.

"Hello." He responded, but it wasn't in the way you would have expected your boyfriend to. You decided to brush it off figuring he was just tired or something from the medication.

"How are you feeling?" You asked, taking his hand in yours.

"Fine, I guess. I'm sorry, do I know you?" He asks, pulling his hand from yours.

The room fell silent.

"Dream..." You asked in disbelief.

Before you could say anything else a Doctor came in to check on Dream.

"I need anyone who isn't family to stay in the waiting room please. You all shouldn't be back here. Now go." He said, shooing you and the other boys out of the room.

"Babes..." Sapnap starts, seeing how hurt and confused you are.

"It's probably just temporary." George assures you. "Let's go sit down and i'm sure when we can see him again, he'll have remembered."

Nodding slightly, the lead you to the stiff chairs of the waiting room.

A little while later Dream's dad came into the waiting room.

"He's going to be alright eventually. Just needs lots of rest and time for his bones to heal. Unfortunately, he does have a kind of amnesia. He remembers most things leading up to the accident, but not what happened during."

"Most things?" George asks.

"There are certain...aspects...that have slipped his memory" Dreams dad says, looking away from the three of you.

"It's me, isn't it?" You say, a feeling of dread growing within you, being almost too scared to say it out loud.

"Yes. But don't worry, the Doctor said it should be temporary." He quickly reassured.

What was said after that fell upon deaf ears. What were you going to do? You'd moved in with Dreams years ago, and never as just a roommate. You were building a life together and that was just....gone. You guessed you could move into the guest bedroom for a while...

"Have you told him anything about who I am?" You interrupted the current conversation.

Dreams dad nodded. "We told him you're a friend of the family. That way when he sees you around..."

"He's not so weirded out."

Dreams dad nods solemnly.

"You're all welcome back to see him though." He offers, trying to lighten the mood.

"Actually, I think i'm going to go home. Rest up a bit." You declined. You figured it'd be better than staying a feeling like a stranger.

You still visited the hospital every day until Dream was discharged, but you didn't stay as long, and stayed as far away from Dream as you could in the tiny room.

When Dream was discharged his mom insisted he stay with them for the time being so she could keep an eye on him.

Whenever you'd visited before, Dreams childhood home was a safe place. A place where you feel like you belonged, and were loved. Like a second home. Now you felt like you were intruding. A guest in this family home. No matter how much his parents promised you were part of the family and that this would all go away soon, you began to wonder if it would.

"Hey Mom, Hey...(Y/N), right?" Dream said, entering the kitchen where you were visiting with his mom to grab an apple from the fridge.

"Hey."

Once Dream left the kitchen you turned to his mom.

"Do you really think it's temporary?"

"Oh, Sweetheart. I know it must be hard. But I really do think that deep down, Dream still knows exactly who you are and loves you every bit as much as he did before."

You fingered the necklace he'd gotten you for your anniversary, only a month before the accident."

"I know I should have hope, it's just...too hard. Too see him, smiling and laughing again, and knowing that I can't be the cause. Knowing that he has no idea who I am.." You say, a sob threatening to escape taking your words.

"I'm sorry. I have to go." You say, standing up and leaving without another word.

Days went by without you visiting. George and Sapnap would update you, but they never said what you needed to hear.

After a month went by with no sign of his memories returning you decided you'd given it enough time.

You moved in with your friend for a while until you were able to find an apartment. Sapnap fought hard to convince you to stay but George understood how hard it was for you and eventually Sapnap gave up.

Once Dreams mom felt comfortable with it, he moved back into the Dream Team Household, still without a inkling of memory for you.

Then, one day months later, Dream rushed into the living room where George and Sapnap were lounging on their phones.

"Guys, I'm freaking out. I can't find (Y/N) anywhere and all her stuff is missing." He says, tugging on his curls, panic rising in his voice.

"(Y/N)?" George asks, surprised, looking at Sapnap who returned the same surprised expression.

"Don't be stupid George, I'm serious. I cant find her and I've tried calling and texting with no answer."

"Dream, calm down. (Y/N) is fine, just staying with a friend." Sapnap started slowly.

"A friend? What the hell is going on?" Dream asked. HIs legs felt wobbly and throat felt tight with fresh tears. He sat on the couch to steady himself.

"After the accident..." Sapnap started.

"You suffered from a sort of amnesia." George took over.

"Right. The doctor said that's why I couldn't remember the accident at all." Dream said, confused. Why were they telling him all this again?

"There was something else you didn't remember. Well, someone." Sapnap said.

"What?" Dream felt a heavy wash of something come over him.

"You woke up and couldn't remember (Y/N) at all. Your parents told you she was a family friend so you wouldn't be so confused as to why she was around all the time. We wanted to tell you , but your mom convinced us that it would be better for you to go along with the lie, she said you were in such a fragile state that it'd just be better that way. And then we didn't know when the best time to tell you would be."

"I forgot her?" Dream asked. He couldn't believe it. This was the girl he'd pictured a future with. The love of his life. No way did he just forget her.

"It got too hard for her. She started out visiting your house nearly every day, but eventually it was too much and she moved out. Forced herself to move on." George said.

"Move on?" Dream whispered. "No, I can't let that happen. I have to see her. Have to let her know I remember her. We can be together again." He looked at Sapnap. "Do you know what friend she was staying with?" Dream had only met a few of your friends, but only knew where one or two of them lived.

Once Sapnap told him and Dream thanked whatever God he believed in that it was one of the ones whos addresses he knew, he grabbed his keys and got into the car and started driving.

A knock on the front door of your friends apartment startled you from where you were sitting on the couch scrolling through yet another page of apartment listings on your laptop.

Placing the computer on the coffee table you opened the door, eyes widening at the sight in front of you.

"Dream.." you whispered.

You were wrapped in his arms immediately, being crushed to his chest in a suffocating hug.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I don't know how I could have ever forgotten you."

"Oh, Dream. " you said, with tears in your eyes, wrapping your arms around him and burying your fact into his neck.

"Please don't tell me i'm too late. That you haven't given up on us. That you didn't forget me."

"Dream, even if there was anyone else I never would have been able to forget us. Never would have been able to completely move on. I love you."

Dream smiled widely pulling you into a kiss.

"I can't wait to make more memories with you."

[bethanydelleman]

Hi! Love your blog :) I saw your previous reply about Jane Austen and cognitive neuroscience and it reminded me of a question I have about Persuasion that still haunts me, which I can't seem to find a definitive answer for on the general internet. So after Louisa is injured, its like she undergoes a pretty massive personality shift, leading up to her falling in love with Captain Benwick etc. My question is, is that change (in your opinion) supposed to be a mental trauma reaction, or more of a physical trauma reaction? Like are we supposed to infer that the brain tissue injury changed her or is it more like, she was in mental shock and also an invalid with plenty of time to brood on her role in things and that's what resulted in her being in a state of mind to love some poetry & Benwick? I do wonder if the total personality change is temporary or permanent, because sometimes people who undergo near-death experiences often have mental trauma-based reactions including apparently 180 degree personality shifts, but those don't last and as they heal from the trauma, they become closer to their older selves. In Louisa's case that would make for an interesting dynamic in her married life with Benwick if she goes back to her earlier personality eventually.

I personally think Louisa and Benwick's marriage is the most questionable one in all of Austen's works! Forget age gaps, no one should be getting married a few months after major brain trauma... I mean unless they were already engaged... maybe.

These are the two quotes about Louisa after the injury that are important here:

She saw no reason against their being happy. Louisa had fine naval fervour to begin with, and they would soon grow more alike. He would gain cheerfulness, and she would learn to be an enthusiast for Scott and Lord Byron; nay, that was probably learnt already; of course they had fallen in love over poetry. The idea of Louisa Musgrove turned into a person of literary taste, and sentimental reflection was amusing, but she had no doubt of its being so. The day at Lyme, the fall from the Cobb, might influence her health, her nerves, her courage, her character to the end of her life, as thoroughly as it appeared to have influenced her fate.

and

He answered rather hesitatingly, “Yes, I believe I do; very much recovered; but she is altered; there is no running or jumping about, no laughing or dancing; it is quite different. If one happens only to shut the door a little hard, she starts and wriggles like a young dab-chick in the water; and Benwick sits at her elbow, reading verses, or whispering to her, all day long.” Anne could not help laughing. “That cannot be much to your taste, I know,” said she; “but I do believe him to be an excellent young man.” “To be sure he is. Nobody doubts it; and I hope you do not think I am so illiberal as to want every man to have the same objects and pleasures as myself. I have a great value for Benwick; and when one can but get him to talk, he has plenty to say. His reading has done him no harm, for he has fought as well as read. He is a brave fellow. I got more acquainted with him last Monday than ever I did before. We had a famous set-to at rat-hunting all the morning in my father’s great barns; and he played his part so well that I have liked him the better ever since.”

So firstly, Louisa was already into the navy and Wentworth, she has retained that interest. However, we will recall that Louisa's interest in the navy sprang to life in moments after meeting the handsome captain. But she's 19 years old, so sudden interests in things that a handsome guy likes are perfectly normal! I'm sure she's learned to appreciate poetry in all the time she had to be quiet and still.

Secondly, what Charles observes is likely lingering effects of brain trauma or what we might call post-concussion syndrome (Louisa had a worse injury than what is commonly called a concussion). Louisa's brain is still healing. She will probably begin to dance again at some point, depending on what damage is long lasting. This is the tricky thing with brains, permanent damage can be extremely varied. One person ends up with aphasia (trouble speaking), another with ataxia (trouble with muscle coordination), and a third with memory problems and so on. However, Louisa is young and her brain is still plastic (adaptable); hopefully she will recover completely without deficits.

Lastly, I included the part about Benwick being a great rat-hunter because we have to remember, he's not all poetry. He is in the navy, he is apparently competent to be promoted so early and we know he has a good fortune. He's a good guy, he's passionate, I'm sure he wants to make his wife happy.

So... I think they'll be fine. Louisa was going to mature no matter what, Benwick is a good person, and they will grow more alike. If not, navy wives weren't always able to travel with their husbands, so Benwick might be away for long periods of time and Louisa might be home with the kids.

But I still advise anyone to wait at least a year before marrying after a major brain trauma! (semi-expert advice, don't sue me)