#this is what I did today instead of do my homework can you believe it

[melrodrigo]

tranquil

Wednesday Addams x G!N Reader

Summary: Wednesday gets a bad case of the late night feels.

Word Count: 600+

A/N: A short one simply for the vibes. Ty @wesstars n @mindyswhore for helping me out 🫶🏻 also i’m gonna mention @bingwriterxo simply cuz i miss her. Hope u enjoy!

It’s been a harrowing day.

After getting a presentation you’d been dreading for weeks done- which had effectively taken all your strength and social battery, you’d been hit with homework for every single class.

Which is how you ended up in your dorm, on a Friday night, sitting and stirring in a mix of damning pride and self-loath.

A knock on the door has your head shifting up and has you turning down the volume of your blasting classical music.

Classical music you’ve never cared for till you met Wednesday Addams.

Most popular loner to live. The infamous young detective. Psycho freak girl. A living black-and-white comic. All the names you can think of, but your favorite thing to call her is your girlfriend.

She’d played something on her cello one night while you were hanging out, and the music had flown through you so easily, lifting you and rattling you to the bone. It had been so magical you had to ask her what she was playing.

You saunter over to the door, somewhat unwillingly, believing you’ve had enough social interaction for one day, but speed up when another knock sounds- this time louder and more hurried.

“What.” You growl, before even looking at your personal space intruder.

“Are you playing tricks on me?” Wednesday, your girlfriend of two years, asks the moment you open your door. Her expression is stoic, as always, but a quiver in her lip tells you better.

The sight of her has the opposite effect on you as it would others.

You feel that little jump like you do every time you see her.

You cock an eyebrow at her, mouth upturned slightly on one side. “Well hello to you too.”

She ignores your comment, favoring instead to walk briskly into your dorm room, one that belonged to you and only you- perks of being the headmaster's kid.

You watch her as she breathes in deep, a display of immense emotion for the Addams, and sags her shoulders.

Contrary to popular belief, Wednesday did have emotions, and not to toot your own horn, but you were well versed in all her different moods by now.

But right now, there’s a different feeling in the air you can’t quite place. She seems…unguarded, unnaturally open.

You shut the door and lean back into the wall in time to see her turn around and walk up to you. She stops just centimeters away from you.

“What’s this about me playing tricks on you?” You question, a little hesitant, distracted by the glint in your girlfriend’s eyes. They barely show through her bangs nowadays, but today they shine brighter, demanding your attention.

She’s blinking slowly, gaze flitting between your lips and your eyes.

This was a look you were quite familiar with.

“Does someone want a kiss?” You tease, placing your hands on her waist gently. You break out in a grin when she sighs at the soft touch.

“Do you enjoy knowing you have control over me?” She asks, tilting her head up to stare into your eyes properly. You look for a joke in her eyes, but her expression stays the same.

Your heart soars at her words. You, out of everyone, would know how much depth her words contain.

Wednesday Addams never says anything lightly.

“Control?” You prod, wanting to make the most out of whatever this mood of hers is.

She nods, looking so relaxed and adoring it makes your heart ache.

“Control.” She whispers, very much staring at you like she wants to grab you by the face and kiss you.

“Yeah? Like what?” You tease further, ready for her to take back her former comment and call you an idiot.

What she does instead, surprises you. She turns her back and talks.

“Why are you turned the other way?” You inquire softly, so as to not ruin the moment.

Wednesday takes another breath that has your heart beating faster.

“It…helps me express my feelings.” She says. You see her hesitate before speaking once again.

“I want you to control me. Or something very close to that. I don’t know what this peculiar feeling is, but it’s dreadful. I’d do anything you asked.” She says, turning around to meet your gaze.

You soften, reach up to brush her face gently. As much as you’re enjoying the vulnerability, you’re a bit worried about what came over her to be so open.

“What’s happened? Are you okay?” You ask her quietly, concern seeping through your voice.

All she does is laugh lowly, shaking her head and bringing a hand up to cup yours.

“I am well, Y/N. I’ve just missed you.” She says, leaning further until she’s pressed up against you, not leaving any space between the two of you.

“We saw each other today.” You say, somewhat meekly, blushing furiously due to your girlfriend’s unexpected antics.

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Your absence leaves a hole in my heart.” She tells you, adverting her gaze like she’s suddenly overcome with doubt.

You take her chin in your hands and tilt her face back to you, wanting to get rid of any uncertainty she has about expressing her feelings. It took ages for her to even open up to you, and you never want her to go back to feeling guarded again.

“I missed you too.” You tell her, as sincerely as you can.

Wednesday’s eyes soften even more like she doesn’t believe you said it back.

Eyes all misty and cheeks tinted red, she looks good.

You lean forward and nip her lips, then pull her in harder when you feel her shiver underneath you.

She responds immediately, grabbing tight at your pjs.

You affirm your prior statements with the most tender kiss you can muster, and you know by the way she grips you even tighter that she understands.

[koolades-world]

Hellooo I like your stuff! :)

Can I pls request something where MC takes Mammon’s early game tsundere shit too seriously? Like, they always take things literally so when he says he doesn’t like or care about them, he’s annoyed to have to babysit them, he doesn’t want this stupid human, etc etc, they believe him?

But they thought he was warming up to them, they thought they were friends (and they’d started to really love their first friend!), so they get really sad about it. He’s like “I DONT care about the human!” And MC’s like, “oh… :’( okay….” and like, either Mammon has to fix it, or Beel and/or Levi (or any of the others! All of the others? Whatever you like) (after making their pacts) have to step in and help. Comfort the human and guilt Mam into communicating however they’d go about that.

Sorry if this is too specific! No pressure of course, do whatever you want with this, have fun :)

Thank you :))

🫐

hi! yes of course :)

today I actually based my outfit around his casual outfit since I have a jacket kinda like his. got so many compliments <3 wore knee high brown boots, a jean mini skirt, a cropped black cami, my mammon jacket, and my diamond studs. wanted to wear some gold hoops but my ears were not having it. dressing up and outfit planning are some of my favorite things to do

if you see that i wrote in second person instead of third in a few spots, please ignore that! i kept catching myself swapping tenses and I tried to find all of them but if i missed them i'm sorry haha

please enjoy, blueberry anon!!

Heart to Heart

Life in the Devildom wasn't easy, but Mc was slowly getting used to it. Sure, it would never be not chaotic to walk around and classes in a school full of demons, but maybe one day, they might be able to consider it normal.

They had begun to make friends with the other demons in their class, gotten involved with a few clubs that they really enjoyed, and even finally started to grasp the concept of the subjects they were attending class for. But, there was one thing they just couldn't even see themselves growing used to.

The first demon they had really thought they'd started to get to know really seemed to dislike being around them. No matter what they did, Mammon always seemed annoyed with them, no matter how sweet they tried to be. They felt most comfortable turning to him since they'd never seen him angry, and seemed the least violent out of their new housemates, especially with Devildom things they just didn't understand. He was by far the most approachable.

They could never understand his seeming hostility despite the fact that they hadn't done anything to him. His almost condescending nature bugged them a little. They didn't take it personally at first, since he was just supposed to be his tour guide and someone to go to if they needed it. He wasn't obligated to them in any way.

But they couldn't help but notice how mutually, they had wormed their way into each others hearts. At some point, it had become routine for him to invite himself into their room after he had finished getting ready for the night to watch something on TV while they attempted to do homework. Every time, they would eventually give up in favor of watching with him since he always had something funny to add. At lunch, despite having his own friends, he would plop down beside them with a snack for you, with some excuse about needing the human to stay healthy. Even if they were talking with one of their friends, he would wiggle between the two of them and stay there, to the point where their friends knew to leave him a spot since he was always fashionably late. At dinner, he always insisted they sit next to him, where'd he'd always whisper to them about his brothers and always inevitable get caught by the one he was talking about. It never failed to make them giggle, and also almost get in trouble.

Every time they had a moment like one of these, he would pretend like it hadn't even happened. It was like nothing between the two of them mattered to him. His comments always read like he was almost annoyed to have to be around them, and that he disliked it. It hurt, but they couldn't say they weren't used to it. After all, they would be gone after a year, so it wouldn't matter anyways, right?

One day in particular, nothing had gone correctly. Mammon had been out the previous night and let Mc know very last minute, despite it being a school night. Their room had felt empty. In hopes he would be back soon, they left his spot open, but he never showed up. They had known that, but it still felt strange. They had been able to get so much work done, but they went to bed feeling something they didn't quite understand.

The next morning, it had felt like he was going out of his way to avoid them. They had seen him once, and perhaps he hadn't seen them, but they didn't even get so much as a smile. He was absent at breakfast, like usual. It also wasn't his turn to walk them to school, so they didn't get to talk to him then either. Later that day, during lunch, he also never showed up. It was odd, but the two of them had never made the promise to meet, so it wasn't like he had some obligation. Their friends gave them a knowing look, one filled with concern, but they told them nothing was wrong. Or so they hoped.

They finally saw him that evening at dinner, but he just wasn't himself. He made no effort to speak to them. When they did try, he was harsher than usual, and kept making comments about them being a stupid human who didn't know any better. It was all in character for him, but with the treatment they had received that day, it hit closer to home than they thought it would. Once the meal was mostly over, and a few of his brothers had filed out of the room, Mc leant over to him to quietly ask if something was wrong. The response they got was much more explosive than they thought they would receive.

"Mammon, how have you been today? I haven't seen you much, and wondered if something was wrong." They stood next to Mammon, collecting all the spare dishes to be washed.

"That's none of yer business, human." He spat out his words like venom at them. His expression after the fact seemed like he'd almost regretted what he'd said, but made no move to take it back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought... Forget I asked." They took a step back, not expecting his words to hit them like that. They decided to take the dishes they were holding to the kitchen. Maybe he would be gone when they returned for more.

"Mammon, that was very rude." Lucifer, who was doing the same as Mc since they had dish duty together that night, gave Mammon a death glare. "Apologize this instant." When Mammon looked away, Lucifer continued. "Well?" Lucifer searched Mammon's face.

"What's your problem?" Asmo spoke up, looking perturbed by the way he had treated yet another one of his claims to fame. Mc did so well on Devilgram, so the two of them had gotten somewhat close, but not as close as they had with Mammon.

"I don't care about that damn human. When did I say that I did? They're just another responsibility." Mammon spoke as confidently as he usually did, but the look on his face gave it all away.

Mc, who had been hanging in the hall just outside the dining room door since they'd dropped a fork, heard his words. It stung them. They'd heard him say that before, but this time it felt as if he meant it if he hadn't before. With a sigh, they hurried off to the kitchen, closing the door behind them. The three brothers left in the room turned at the sudden noise.

Mammon realized what he'd done, and stood there, stewing in the consequences of his actions. Lucifer and Asmo said something to him before leaving, but he didn't really hear it. He wished he could take it all back, and to tell Mc he didn't mean it. But, he wasn't sure how, or if their relationship was even salvageable.

Mc was in the kitchen, scrubbing a plate when they heard Lucifer enter. They could tell it was him thanks to the sound of his shoes on the tile. They scooted over to make room for him at the sink. "I'm sorry about Mammon." Lucifer broke the silence.

"It's fine. He's right. I am just another task for him to juggle." They didn't look up from the running water.

"I assigned him to look after you. If anything, I can care for you." He placed the dishes in the sink.

"But, he's right, is he not? I'm just a human. I've got no clue what I'm doing here so someone has to look after me. I'm not in this family, so it's not like taking care of me was something he signed up for." They moved clean dishes out of the sink and onto the drying rack. Lucifer remained silent for a moment.

"It's an honor having you here, I hope you realize. This is a momentous occasion. Diavolo entrusted us with the duty of caring for one of the only two human exchange students, in a program that's unique." It seemed like Lucifer was struggling to find the right words to say. This was the nicest they had even seen him be.

"I appreciate it. Thank you. But, what am I to do? A human trapped in a place where humans aren't meant to go. I can't help but feel like a task to be completed." Mc paused. "I'm sorry. That was probably too much." They went silent again.

"You can go up to bed early if you wish. I'll finish these." Lucifer finally said. Without making eye contact, they got down off the stool they had been standing on to reach the top of the drying rack, and left with a small thank you. Mammon wandered in moments after they left, finally seeming to have collected himself.

"Mammon. I hope you're proud of yourself. After that spectacle, I might just have to make Beel their new guardian." Mammon froze at Lucifer's words.

"No! Ya don't gotta do that." He couldn't bring himself to continue himself.

"Really? Because with the way you treated Mc, I would not blame them if they never wanted to speak to you again." Lucifer turned around to look Mammon right in the eyes. He knew that look well. He was disappointed with him.

"I'll just go apologize. No biggie, right?" He tried to act as if nothing was wrong despite the turmoil he'd just caused.

"I have no words." Lucifer turned back to the dishes, ignoring Mammon's attempts to speak to him anymore. Mammon was left with his thoughts again, and all the regret he had. He wasn't sure how to go about with telling them he didn't mean what he'd said, and that was just because he really liked them. After some pondering, he realized nobody but himself was going to fill this hole he'd created, and that it was his job to do it if he wanted to repair their relationship.

Mc had been in their room, reading through some notes from earlier that day, when their door slammed open. Only one demon entered like that. "Mammon." They nodded without looking up.

"Mc. I- Do ya have a moment?" They looked up to meet his gaze. All the animosity had faded and was replaced with a warmness they'd never seen before.

"Yes." They set their pen down, and waited for him to speak.

"I'm sorry about what I said. I'm sorry fer ignorin' ya today. I'm sorry fer treatin' ya like garbage. You don't deserve that." Tears began to well up in his eyes, but he continued. "I have trouble tellin' ya this, but I think yer really great. If yer willin' to talk to me again, I promise I won't do all that anymore." The tears began to slip down his cheeks.

"Oh, Mammon, please don't cry." Mc got up to hug him and close the door behind him. He tightly gripped them back, as if they might leave him. Once he'd calmed down a little, Mc spoke again.

"I won't lie, what you said did hurt, but thank you for saying you're sorry. I really love spending time with you. You make me feel welcome here. I don't fully understand you, but I hope that you'll help me understand you." Mc patted Mammon's back.

"Can I stay over in yer room tonight? Let me start there and make it up to ya fer yesterday. Let's watch yer favorite human movie." His eyes are still red, but the smile is back on his face. It really suited him.

"Yes, of course." That night, the both of them fell asleep in Mc's bed together, but not before Mammon thought how lucky he was to have them, despite himself.

[jo-harrington]

Lack of Faith (Eddie Munson)

Summary: Eddie Munson. Dungeon Master, Rock Star Wannabe, King of the Freaks and the Nerds. Can you believe that he doesn't like Star Wars?

Characters: Eddie Munson, Corroded Coffin, Wayne Munson, Dustin Henderson, Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair

Themes/Warnings: Our nerdy boy being a nerd, and his nerdlings making him worse, Star Wars references, might borrow some dialogue from the movie Fanboys (2009), boys will be boys, angst-ish, hurt/comfort-ish?, friendship, reference to some FOI characters, don't worry about it.

Note: This has been a thought that's lingered in my mind for quite some time as I am a HUGE Star Wars fan. And a little talk with @br0ck-eddie today (an unrelated topic) brought this back to the forefront of my mind. Tagging @fracturedarkness and @courtingchaos for no reason other than "you'll like it."

This is not an xReader fic. This is about Eddie and Star Wars and if you nerf-herders can't accept that, you can get the kriff out of here. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT JIZZ IS, KEEP FUCKING MOVING NORMIE.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

It was a normal lunch period.

Well, as normal as it could be when you sat at Hellfire Club's table in the cafeteria. There was no talk of homework, or dates, or crushes.

Instead Gareth was tapping a beat against the edge of the table with two unsharpened No.2 pencils, Dave was working on a new character sheet with Eddie after he suffered a tragic and untimely death during their last session, and the freshman were arguing about something down at their end of the table.

Their heads were bent together, occasionally Mike would throw his head back and groan, and then get right back to his furious whispers. And although Eddie, gracious and fearless leader that he was, was typically grateful that they kept their mindless drivel to themselves, today he was curious.

He could hear little tidbits of their conversation and they intrigued him enough:

"...they still kissed."

"That was to make Han jealous."

"That was the second time, what about the first time?"

"The first time they were about to die!" Dustin got to his feet now, staring at Mike with wide, incredulous eyes. "They were swinging ten-thousand feet in the air!"

"Hey!" Eddie shouted at them now, as kids at the surrounding tables started to stare and laugh. And usually, yes, he'd flip them off, tell them to mind their own business. Pull the whole freak card to get them to look away. The freshman needed to learn when to not place a target on their own backs; he hopefully wouldn't be here to protect them forever. "Shut up! Sit down!"

The three boys immediately clamped their mouths shut and Dustin sunk back into his seat as the older boys snickered.

"What's so important that you're about to start throwing punches over there?" Eddie questioned. The boys seemingly made themselves smaller and Eddie had to sigh. "Come on, I'm not gonna bite your heads off."

The entirety of Hellfire Club shot a skeptical look at him and his rolled his eyes.

"M-maybe you can help us," Mike suggested. "We're in the middle of a debate."

"A debate? What kind of debate?"

"One of the utmost importance," Dustin said desperately. "Because Mike is insane."

"I am not! You're the one who's lost it. 'There's something innate.' Did we even watch the same movie?"

The boys all started to bicker again, louder this time, and Eddie needed to whistle to get them to quit it.

"See that's not very helpful. Why don't you tell me what movie, and what the problem is, and I can offer final and absolute judgement."

"Because you're right all the time," Jeff muttered under his breath to Gareth, causing Eddie to toss an eraser at him good-naturedly.

"Star Wars," the three freshman all answered simultaneously, and then they started talking over each other about whether Luke and Leia knew they were siblings when they kissed or if he had a thing for Leia and if Han was really weirded out by it all when he found out.

They were so caught up in their explanation that they didn't notice the members of Corroded Coffin get all tense, or the way that Eddie began to clench his fists and grit his teeth.

Until aforementioned lead guitarist stood up himself and hauled his backpack over his shoulder. They all stared at him, his bandmates with fearful eyes, and the freshman with hopeful ones.

"Easy," Eddie answered with a sardonic smile. "Star Wars is a dumb shit movie and you shouldn't waste your breath arguing over it."

And he walked past his friends just as the bell rang signaling the end of the period.

---

"What do you mean you don't like Star Wars?"

"Drop it Henderson."

"Is it...are you more of a Trek fan? Is that it?"

"It's not--"

"Because it's ok if you are! I like Star Trek too. I got Vulcan ears for Christmas last year and I have the new Klingon dictionary on hold at Waldenbooks. Pretty sure I'm already better at it than Latin."

"Do you not understand the meaning of drop it?" Eddie slammed his locker shut and stared at the younger boy. "I just don't like it. It's...it's--"

"It's a cultural phenomena!" Dustin cut him off. "It's only the most detailed and expansive fictional universes I've ever experienced. Even better than Tolkien."

"That's blasphemy," Eddie scoffed.

"Ok maybe not Tolkien," Dustin conceded, hands held out innocently. "But seriously, it's insane. I thought that you'd be all over it. I was gonna even talk to you about helping me plan a small one-shot for Lucas' birthday set in the Star Wars universe. I would DM!"

Eddie, though annoyed with the topic conversation, fondly pushed the bill of Dustin's hat over his eyes.

"Come on!"

"Listen I'll help you," Eddie promised. "Whatever you wanna cook up for Sinclair's birthday, I'm your guy. I'll even get the guys to come and play if you want a bigger group. Just anything but Star Wars ok?"

He started to walk away but Dustin was hot on his heels, dodging other students left and right to stay in-step with Eddie.

"Why not? Just give me one good reason why you don't like Star Wars, and I'll drop it. Is it because Obi-Wan wasn't secretly Luke's father? Or..." He fumbled over his words, struggling to find a reason that his friend didn't like one of his favorite series. "Or...because Wedge was a better pilot than Luke but somehow Luke was the star of the Rebel Alliance."

"Stop it now."

"Do you not like C-3P0? No one likes C-3P0! Wait...is that your favorite character and you don't like the movie because everyone else hates him?"

Dustin was sure he'd hit the nail on the head and offered explanations and tried to convince Eddie that he was all wrong. And all of it fell on annoyed ears until Eddie, at his wits end, turned and grabbed Dustin by the shoulders. He stopped them dead in their tracks in the middle of the hallway, uncaring of the other students groans and insults as they pushed past.

"I don't like Star Wars," Eddie said through gritted teeth, a sense of finality in his words so the subject could be dropped once and for all. "Because I've never seen the movies. And I don't want to. They're overhyped, and dumb, and just a way to get little idiots like you to spend their money on posters and action figures and life savers."

"Lightsabers," Dustin corrected him, but then backtracked. "Wh--Eddie? What do you mean? You have to have seen them! Ed...Eddie wait!"

The metalhead let him go and the quickly retreated into the crowd leaving Dustin to call after him, confused.

---

Of course, news spread to the other freshman quickly. Dustin was devastated, Lucas was lost, and Mike felt betrayed that his role model--loose definition--hadn't seen the movies that shaped him as a person to this day. Shaped all of them.

Into nerds.

Even Max was surprised to hear that her neighbor hadn't seen it, as she was dragged to the depths of the Wheeler's basement along with the boys to discuss how this all could have happened.

They thought of everything. Body swaps and mind control. A curse! Mike was dead set on Eddie being a die-hard trekkie and, as someone who disliked the Trek himself, got irrationally angry about it.

"I swear he didn't even bat an eye when I told him about the Klingon!" Dustin exclaimed. "I just...I don't know."

"Well have you asked the rest of the geek patrol?" Max questioned, and all the boys turned to stare at her. "If Eddie hates it so much that he doesn't want to talk about it, the others have known him for a lot longer than any of us have. They're bound to know something right?"

"See this?" Dustin snapped his fingers and pointed at her. "This is why we need you in Hellfire. Eddie wouldn't be able to trick us anymore, you'd see right through it."

"Not gonna happen," she deadpanned.

The boys protested her refusal to play DnD with them, but took her advice and ran with it.

For a solid week, they pestered Jeff, Gareth, and Dave. And for a solid week, the older boys refused to budge. They tried everything. Bribes, blackmail, threats.

"You think," Gareth laughed when the boys cornered him outside the locker room before PE. "That I'm gonna tell you anything after you threaten to have Steve Harrington beat me up? That guy might've been a big douchebag few years ago, but I know he's a loser working at Family Video now."

All hope was lost as he was about to head to class. Until Mike spotted someone out of the corner of his eye, leaving the athletics hall for their next class, and he was struck with inspiration. He called out to Gareth.

"What if I can get you one of my sister's bras?"

Gareth skidded to a halt and looked over his shoulder with shock and, surprisingly, intrigue.

"...go on," he nodded.

Thus, a negotiation was made before the coach blew his whistle. And a few days later after school, at the picnic table out in the woods behind the football field, the exchange took place.

"Gimme the goods," Gareth held his hand out for his bounty.

"Story first, bra later," Lucas scoffed at him. "Otherwise what's to stop you from taking it and leaving."

Gareth clenched his hands and then let out a long-suffering sigh.

"At least lemme see what color it is."

The three freshman ducked their heads together to discuss the risks, and then Mike unzipped his backpack and flashed the tiniest peak of pastel purple lace at him.

"Nice," Gareth nodded. "Alright! You better not have anywhere else to go, we're gonna be here for a little while."

"My mom's not coming to get us until 6," Dustin agreed.

Gareth then took the time to weave the tale. One he heard from Jeff, who heard it from some guy named Dougie, who heard it from a girl named Ronnie, who only knew about it because she was there.

"It's his closely kept secret," Gareth explained. "Ronnie was still here when I was a freshman, and she wouldn't say shit about it. Which is why this can never make it back to me."

"We swear," the boys said simultaneously, and all crossed their hearts.

Apparently, Eddie had been all excited for the very first Star Wars movie when it first premiered. He saw the posters for it at the Hawk and babbled on and on about what it might be about. He'd always been a little interested in space, thanks to Star Trek--

"I knew it!" Dustin exclaimed.

"God damn it!" Mike cursed. "He's a Trekkie!"

"Are you gonna let me tell this story?" Gareth hissed.

"Sorry," Lucas apologized and slugged both of his friends in the arm.

--and he thought Star Wars was gonna be the next big thing. He was sure of it. Not only that, it was gonna be his new favorite thing. He was hesitant to ask his dad to buy tickets for the two of them to go and see the movie together. What with money being tight and his dad's unreliable presence. Still, he heard that the local radio station was giving two tickets away and he called and called and called until he won them.

"Wow," Mike was awestruck. "Two tickets for the opening day of Star Wars. Can you imagine? What a lucky son of a bitch."

"Uh," Dustin watched Gareths shifting eyes and pursed lips. "Mike I think you're forgetting something."

"What?"

"He didn't see it, dipshit," Gareth sneered. "Duh. Isn't that the whole point of you guys bothering me with this? Did you forget?"

Eddie, excited for the day, told his dad, Al, two weeks in advance. He and Ronnie had picked up the tickets for the show after school one afternoon, lying to Ronnie's grandma about having detention. And Al Munson, father of the year, promised that he would be around to take Eddie.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said and flashed his charming smile at his young and hopeful son. "We can make a day of it, how's that? You got the tickets, I've got dinner at Benny's afterwards. And you can get a sundae for dessert."

Eddie was over the moon, happy that his dad was finally excited for something that he enjoyed. He couldn't be bothered with Lord of the Rings or Narnia or any of the other stories that Eddie enjoyed, but he was excited for this. Probably because it had Wars in it. But that was ok. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

And then the morning finally came. A Wednesday in May, almost time for summer break. Al was sitting on the couch looking at something in the newspaper and Eddie reminded him about the movie before he left to catch the school bus. Al simply patted him on the head and promised to pick him up at 3 so they'd have plenty of time to get a good seat and watch the previews.

"And then the asshole never showed up," Gareth scoffed and broke all the kids hearts.

They didn't know a whole lot about Eddie's dad; he purposefully said precious little except that he was in jail and "belonged there, good riddance." If a good word was said about anyone in Eddie's family, it was said about his uncle Wayne. And even then it was scarce. Hearing this whole story though instantly put a bad taste in their mouths about the elder Munson.

Gareth continued the story, telling them how Eddie sat at one of the picnic tables for his dad until Ronnie and her grandma offered to drive him to the theater so at least he could see the movie. Ronnie even offered to see it with him. But Eddie refused.

"He was sure that his dad was coming. Waited there for hours. Until the movie had started, and then was over. And then he walked home alone."

"But..." Mike frowned. "But then why didn't he try again? Why didn't he go to see it when Empire came out...or...or Lucas...remember when your dad took us to see Return of the Jedi a couple years ago? And we tried to get him to take us all to the midnight showing of the whole trilogy?"

"Yeah! He told us we were crazy for wanting to sit there for 8 whole hours."

"But he didn't wanna see it," Gareth shook his head. "That's the whole point. His dad pissed him off, and now...he's written it all off. He refuses, because...I guess he doesn't wanna admit how upset he was. I don't even know if he cried! Ronnie never told anyone what happened afterwards. We all just know not to say anything about Star Wars around him."

Gareth got his bounty in the end and left, and the three freshman all sat there, defeated.

"I almost wish he was a trekkie," Mike said sadly.

"My dad's left us and it's still somehow not that bad," Dustin whispered.

"Listen," Lucas straightened his shoulders and looked at his friends. "This...man it really sucks, but we can't just give up. Eddie deserves to know all the ups and downs of Star Wars. He would love it. Probably more than the three of us combined. Hell, even Max thought so!"

The other boys nodded in agreement and sat upright as Lucas got to his feet.

"Are we just gonna sit here and let our friend who always looks out for us miss out on the best thing that he's ever seen just cuz his dad's a big asshole? Or are we gonna look out for him too?"

Mike and Dustin clapped and cheered and whooped.

And then the three of them got out their notebooks and began to scheme.

---

Eddie rang the doorbell of the Wheeler's house and waited silently on the porch, hands fiddling with the small gift and binder in his hands.

9am was too fucking early for a birthday party, in his opinion, but for the kids--for Lucas--and for Dungeons and Dragons...eh...he could stand to lose some sleep on a Saturday.

As long as they were done by 7 so he could go make a few bucks at Matt Donovan's party over on Elm. He'd lose out on sleep, but not cash.

The door opened and a tired-looking Ted Wheeler looked Eddie up and down with a sigh, then waved him in.

"They're all downstairs," he droned. "Snacks and sodas in the kitchen. Karen's gone to the store to get more. We're ordering pizza for lunch and there'll be cake a little later."

"Great," Eddie gave him a stiff nod. "Thanks."

Ted grumbled something about "having enough birthday parties for his own three kids let alone their friends too" and Eddie rolled his eyes.

Asshole.

He kicked off his sneakers in the pile by the stairs to the basement and then shuffled down the steps, eager to join his favorite group of idiots for a day of fantasy escapism.

And he was excited; it had been a while since he'd gotten to play one of his characters and Dustin had put together a fantastic campaign for Lucas.

Only...when Eddie got to the basement, he was in for a shock.

No tables and chairs, no dice, no maps or figures. No binders or books or character sheets. Nothing.

Just his friends all sitting together on and around the couch facing the tv set that had been set up in front of it.

With lightsabers in their hands.

They all cheered when they saw Eddie, Lucas the loudest of all.

Well, not all of them. Jeff, Gareth, and Dave all looked about ready to run. Especially when they saw the scathing look on Eddie's face.

"You're finally here!" Lucas laughed. "You're late.

"Happy Birthday," Eddie deadpanned and threw the gift to him. "What the hell is going on here?"

"What does it look like?" Dustin snarked. "It's Lucas' birthday."

"It was supposed to be Dungeons and Dra--"

"Well, I changed my mind," Lucas said smugly. "I thought...you know what, save it for the summer so we can make it longer than just a one-off campaign. Dustin worked really hard on it after all."

Eddie couldn't deny that. Still he glared at the plastic...toys that the boys all held.

"And you just happened to pick Star Wars?" he asked, arms crossed over his chest as he eyed them all skeptically.

"It's my favorite," Lucas insisted. "Not the first time I've had a Star Wars themed party. First time we're watching the trilogy all the way through though."

"Yeah cuz someone fell asleep last time we tried," Dustin jabbed Mike in the shoulder with his lightsaber pointedly.

"That's why we're starting so early this time," Mike parried with a jab to Dustin's stomach.

"So," Lucas stared Eddie down with challenge in his eyes. "Are you just gonna stand there and ruin my party? Or are you gonna sit down? Because we're never gonna get to Empire by the time the pizza gets here if we don't start soon."

Eddie stared at the hopeful expressions in all of his friends--his little sheeps--faces. Even the ones who were familiar with his feelings about the franchise.

And he weighted his options.

Eddie was a man who abided by the code. He'd gotten burned to many times in life not to. And that code included things like never trust your dad, rich people are assholes, popular girls are bad news. Somewhere in that list though, between always change your underwear when you think they're still clean and shake the can of soda before you hand it to your friends was never watch Star Wars.

It'd been that way for years.

But since the start of the school year, since Eddie had met these three kids...he'd started changing his code.

Steve Harrington wasn't an asshole. Well he used to be, but he proved that he could change.

Not all popular girls were bad news. Nancy was helping him work towards a better grade in biology and the student council president had slipped her number into Eddie's locker the other day.

And while there might be things that would never change--his father wasn't trustworthy, end of story--he figured...for his friends he might be able to bend some of his self-imposed rules.

Eddie sighed and looked at television screen with the words A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away... frozen, and he felt a little pang in his heart.

And if he could do things like that for his friends...

His inner 10-year old self was sitting at that picnic table still, waiting for the van to pull into the parking lot. Only this time, he wasn't left high and dry. This time a much older Eddie drove up and popped open the van doors for little Eddie to hop in. They could finally fulfill this dream together.

...he certainly could do things like that for himself.

"Alright," he closed the distance and pushed his way through his friends so he could plop front and center on the floor in front of the television. He tried to keep the sour attitude, but as a blue plastic lightsaber was pressed into his hands, he couldn't help but crack a smile. "Let's see what all the hype is about."

The group cheered and Gareth pressed play on the remote.

And as the swell of music began and STAR WARS flashed on the screen, Eddie said aloud...

"Hey guys, what if it sucks?"

[mattybstqrn]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐭 - 𝐂.𝐖

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐-𝚒𝚜𝚑, 𝙳𝚢𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎

Female Reader x Cole Walter

Y/n is well... a nerd, she wasn't popular, and she didn't care, she didn't go to prom, or dances, or school events, she kind of hated them, especially since she had no to go with. She also didn't care if people called her one unless they kept doing it till it got annoying and rude. She liked doing homework and taking lots of notes, but what she didn't like was when jocks and cheerleaders forcefully made her do their homework.

So, as she stood at her locker going over her notes to make sure she didn't forget anything not noticing that Dylan was walking up to her, "Hi," she heard from behind her, she turned around to see Dylan, "Uh, h-hi," she greeted, well this is unexpected, she thought to herself. "How can I help?" she questioned before realizing.

"Oh, do you need help with your homework, or just today's notes," One thing about Y/n was that she was very sweet, and she loved to help people, sometimes even if they were bad, she liked to see the good in people. "Uh no... I was actually going to ask you if you'd be my date to prom?" he said holding back a chuckle that she didn't hear.

She looked at him confused on why someone like him wanted to take someone like her out, but a cute guy was asking her out, that didn't happen every day, so she nodded, "Yeah sure, sounds nice!" she smiled, "Great!" he said a little too excitedly, "I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8," she nodded as he walked away and over to his friends.

"Well, that was unexpected," she muttered to herself.

DYLAN'S/COLE'S POV

I laughed to myself as I walked over to my friends dabbing up the guys, "Did it work?" Erin asked with a mischievous little smirk as she approached me, "Yeah, she totally fell for it," I laughed holding onto my backpack.

"She's so gullible," Ruby giggled placing her hand on my shoulder as we all laughed at our bet.

Cole then walked over, he didn't know the plan yet but he's my best friend, so I have to tell him so we can laugh about it now and in the future, "What's going on?" Cole asked approaching the group, keeping his distance from Erin since they're on a break again.

"You will not believe what they just bet me to do," I told him with a smile, Cole looked at us weirdly confused but told me to continue.

"You know Y/n Y/l/n, the nerd?" I asked him, "Well... yeah," Cole was hesitant to call her a nerd but that's what the jocks and cheerleaders referred to her as, so he nodded.

"Erin bet me $150 to ask her to be my date to prom tomorrow," I laughed, however Cole didn't laugh till a few seconds later, it was a fake laugh that no one had realized.

Deep down Cole felt bad for her as Dylan started to tell him their plan, it was horrible, they made fun of her all the time, behind her back of course, but they still didn't and once she found out the news, Cole knew she would be heartbroken.

After Dylan told Cole his plan, Cole finished school without a care as he thought about what he should do and how to tell Y/n what was going on, he didn't want to hurt her in any way but now they had this stupid plan and he felt horrible, he felt even more horrible for being the one to tell her.

NARRATOR'S POV

Cole wondered what she'd do, would she slap him? kick him? punch him in the face? yell at him?

But no, he was wrong, instead she tried to hide her tears.

Cole followed Y/n home without her knowing, he wanted to tell her as soon as possible and he took this as an opportunity to tell her. Once he arrived, he saw her walking to her front porch to go inside so he quickly followed after her, trying his best to run, "Wait up!" he told her rubbing his bad leg in the process.

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you need something? Ice? water?" she turned around and offered, feeling bad about making him run, she had heard about his bad leg and how it wasn't 100% like it used to be, so she asked him to come inside, they sat down at her dining table as he drank his water.

"Did you come for something specific?" she asked, "Ohh, do you need help with homework or something?" she questioned, but surprisingly he shook his head, this intrigued her, So, you're not here for homework, what can I help you with? do you need a tutor?" she guessed, "No actually I came here to talk to you," she nodded for him to continue.

 "I don't know how to put this but, uh, Dylan's playing you," confusion took over expression, "What?" she asked in confusion, "What are you talking about?" Y/n was a pretty emotional person, and this really hurt her feelings. 

She didn't know what else to say as Cole continued.

"He doesn't actually want to take you to prom, he's just playing you, so he can make fun of you later when he wins prom king," Cole told her trying to be gentle.

A tear slowly made its way down her face, "Thank you for letting me know," she sniffled, "Are you okay?" he asked her as he saw her eyes start to water up, "Y-yeah I'm fine," she lied standing up immediately not wanting him to see her cry, so she slowly back away from him.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "It's okay, it's not your fault," she shrugged as if it didn't matter, "Doesn't matter anymore," she told him, "I'm not going," she shrugged as he slowly stood up.

He walked over to where you stood leaning against the island in the kitchen, he gently lifted his thumb and whipped the tear that fell from her eye, "Do you wanna go to prom with me?" he asked her nervously scratching the back of his head, "What?" she questioned him, genuinely confused.

She didn't want to fall for anymore tricks, but his tone was so sincere when he continued. "I-I don't have a date and you don't have a good one so... maybe?" she smiled up at him as his thumb still laid on her cheek, "I'd like that," 

"Tomorrow? 8 o'clock?" he suggested, she nodded in agreement and sent him a soft smile, she then saw him out, and when he left, she didn't know whether she should laugh or cry. 

Of course I got played she thought, who'd ever want me? 

A tear rolled down her cheek as she dropped down to the floor against the front door, she just knew it was too good to be true, and she was right, she hated that she was, but she was.

But she was also excited, she was going out with Cole Walter, the hot guy.

She always had a crush on him, no one knew, but she did and now she was going to prom with him?

This was exciting and nerve-wracking for her; she didn't want to mess it up and make him never want to talk to her again.

But she was happy that he even asked. 

It was the most unbelievable and most exciting thing that had ever happened to her.

The next day Y/n got ready for prom, she didn't plan on going so she had to buy a last-minute dress, but it was perfect, she loved it, and she couldn't wait to wear it. She put on some light makeup, she was not one to wear makeup, not that she even needed to, as her mom curled and or straightened her hair, (whatever you prefer). 

Once she was finished with her makeup and hair, she sat up and looked into her mirror. She loved it, she looked amazing, "What do you think?" her mom asked from where she stood behind her with her hands rested on her shoulders, "I love it, thank you mom," 

Y/n's mom squeezed her shoulder in comfort before pulling away and going over to the closet to grab the light blue dress that hung up on the hanger. "Finally," Y/n sighed, she had been waiting all day to put it on and it was finally time to do so, and she couldn't have been more excited.

She went to her bathroom and quickly changed into her dress. She came out the bathroom and did a little twirl showing her mom her beautiful blue dress.

"You look beautiful honey!" her mother exclaimed with a smile, "Thank you mom," she smiled back, her mother then checked the time and shooed her daughter out the house realizing that she'd be late.

Y/n rushed down the stairs and to the front door revealing Cole who was about to knock. He wore a blue suit (the one he wore to the wedding or whatever you want) he looked amazing, "Wow," she breathed out, "You look beautiful, Y/n," he complimented you as he tightly held onto a small clear box, a beautiful light blue corsage sitting inside.

"You don't look too bad yourself," such a cliche thing to say, but she said it anyways, "Thank you," he chuckled.

"This is for you," Cole said after a few seconds of the two gazing into each other's eyes, Y/n was definitely a big fan of eye contact and she absolutely melted whenever he gave you those eyes, "Thank you, Cole, it's beautiful," 

"Should we get going?" he questioned, just as she was about to respond Y/n's mom rushed out saying that she needed pictures, "Wait! I need pictures of you two first,"

 "Mom!" Y/n harshly whispered in embarrassment, "What? you guys look adorable in your little dress and tux," Y/n's mom had the biggest smile on her face, "I'm so sorry Cole," Y/n apologized in embarrassment, "It's okay, I don't mind," Cole softly chuckled.

The two took thousands of pictures before finally leaving, mostly because the other Walter's and Garica's were in the car and Isaac was complaining.

The car ride was silent, it was a comfortable silence, there was small talk between Cole, Danny, and Y/n but other than that it was pretty much silent.

Once they arrived Isaac and Lee immediately ran inside, excited for some reason. Meanwhile everyone else waited for their date's, Alex was taking Kiley, Nathan was taking Skylar, and Danny had no one, sadly, but he wasn't the type to date. Meanwhile Isaac and Lee both had random dates, Isaac took a random cheerleader and Lee had taken his crush.

"You ready?" Cole asked, Y/n nodded, "Yeah," taking a deep breath as Cole interlocked his arm with yours. You two walked in with absolutely everyone staring at you, but you didn't care, you had Cole Walter, the most popular guy in school taking you to prom, and it seemed pretty genuine. It felt like he actually wanted to take you.

And little did you know, but he did.

You heard everyone whispering about how you were supposed to come with Dylan. "I guess everyone knew except me then," you muttered to Cole, "I'm sorry Y/n," you sent him a small smile and replied, "It's okay," with a slight shrug, "No it's not," 

"Well then it doesn't matter anymore, I'm here with you, not that asshole," Cole's facial expression changed from a sympathy look to shock, "Did you just curse?" he questioned, "I did," you nodded as you followed him around, "I... didn't know you cursed," his tone was fill with shock, "Neither did I," you muttered, kind of shocking yourself as well.

People continued to whisper and talk but you ignored them as you quietly talked to Cole, you guys talked until Dylan came over with Erin, Ruby, and a few guys on the football team following behind him, "Y/n... I thought we were going to prom together,"

"I already asked her," Cole butted in, "Then why did you say yes to me?" Dylan questioned with a nervous smile, he thought that you knew what was going on and you did but you and Cole decided it would a good idea if you guys didn't tell him yet, "I'm gonna go get us some drinks," you told Cole slowly backing away from the group.

Meanwhile Cole and Dylan talked in private, "Why did you bring her? We had a plan!" Dylan spoke in a scolding tone, Dylan was thinking that Cole told Y/n the plan, or that you had found out, so he decided to take matters into his own hands and continue the prank.

"No, no, you had a plan, a horrible plan really, and I took matters into my own hands because no one should ever be treated like that," Cole told him with a cold tone before patting his shoulder and walking over you.

"What happened?" you asked as Cole approached you, "Doesn't matter anymore," he shrugged while you handed him his drink, "Thanks," he smiled, you guys found a table and sat down, talking while you watched everyone dance and have fun.

Cole abruptly stood up and held his hand out for you to take, "Can I have this dance?" he asked with a cheeky smile, you chuckled at his words and actions, but nodded, "Yeah," you followed him onto the dance floor.

"I do have to warn you though, I do not know how to dance, like at all," you told him, "That's okay, I'll teach you," he assured you, "Well you can sure have fun trying," he then instructed you where to put your hands, you wrapped both your arms around his neck, "Can I?" he asked, you nodded giving him permission to place his hand on your waist.

You shivered at his touch; your spin tickled with joy. He instructed you on what to do with your feet and you eventually got the hang of it, you stepped on his feet a few times, apologizing every time, but after a few tries you got the hang of it and knew exactly what you were doing.

Y/n and Cole danced to the slow music as you quietly talked. You pulled away from leaning your head on Cole's shoulder and looked up at him, he was so close to you, closer than you guys had ever been, he then stopped what he was saying and looked down at you, you glanced up at his lips.

He slowly started leaning in, you wanted to pull away since you've never had your first kiss, but you knew you wanted it to be with Cole, you knew he would've never gone for you, but here he stood right in front of you slowly leaning in, you were scared but if that meant that it happened right now, you didn't care.

You leaned in as well but that was soon stopped when they started announcing prom king and queen. You abruptly pulled away and acted as if nothing happened, you were... embarrassed, you've never had your first kiss, and when you were about to, it got interrupted, but you knew you were to chicken to kiss him anyways.

 "The prom queen is....," The teacher spoke trailing off for some suspense, "Erin Collins!" Erin squealed in excitement as she ran up to the stage receiving her crown, you slowly clapped unamused, you knew you would never win but you were annoyed that had won, of course she won, you thought.

"And the prom king is... Dylan (whatever his last name is idk)" Dylan looked shocked and high fived his friends before receiving his crown, Erin of course wanted to make a speech but as she stood at the podium a mystery slime poured down on the two causing your mouth to drop in shock, disgusted and laughter.

You quickly slapped your hand over your mouth to contain your laughter, but you couldn't hold it back anymore, you burst out laughing, this was the second-best thing that had happened today, the first was Cole asking you to be his prom date of course.

Erin cried and screamed in frustration and annoyance, and also embarrassment, "My dress!" she gasped in shock, she then ran off the stage with tears in her eyes with Dylan following behind her. 

You looked around and saw Isaac and Lee laughing to themselves as they held onto the rope that led to a bucket that spilled out the mystery slime that looked like chocolate and nacho cheese, disgusting yet hilarious.

"They're going to get into so much trouble," you laughed to yourself as Cole stood next you, "Why would they do that?" you asked Cole as if he had the answer, but he surprisingly did, "They did it for you,"

"What?"

"They felt bad about Dylan being an ass, so we made a plan and that was it, they were gonna embarrass you, so we embarrassed them before they could embarrass you," 

"Seriously?" you asked him in shock.

"Yeah," 

"Thank you, Cole," 

"It's no problem, really. They deserved it, and no one should be treated like that, especially you." he told her with a sweet smile.

Your heart melted at his words, he was so sweet to you, he was like prince charming, sweet, caring, kind, handsome, charming, funny, loyal, what more could a girl want?

Prom was officially over meaning that it was time to go home, but Cole had other plans. 

He dropped his siblings back home and he planned to take you home and he did, but he told you to pack some clothes, you were confused but you did it and told your mom that you'd be back before at least midnight, but she wanted you to have fun and told you to come back whenever you wanted but to text her from time to time.

"So... where are we going?" you asked once you got back into the car, "It's a surprise," he simply replied, "I don't like surprises," you told him, "Well, I think you'll like this one," he glanced over at you, sending you a smile, that you gladly sent back.

He glanced down at your hand, you were kind of nervous for this surprise, so you started fidgeting, but that all stopped when Cole reached for your hand, interlocking his with yours.

Once you guys arrived you saw that he had taken you to his and I quote "Secret spot," the waterhole. He helped you down the big, steep rocks and sat down as you guys watched the water flow.

"This is the surprise?" you questioned, "It's not much, but it's where I go when I need some time to myself" he explained, "I've never actually been here, I've heard of this place, but I've never actually seen it," you told him, "Well here we are,"

"Here we are," 

The two sat in silence until Cole asked if you wanted to go in the water, you told him no and said that you'd go in later, he nodded and started to take of his shirt revealing his abs, you couldn't help but stare, he was in great shape.

"It's rude to stare," he spoke.

"Sorry," you apologized slightly embarrassed, "No need to apologize," 

Right as he was about to get in, he asked one last time, "You coming in?" 

"Fine, sure, I'm coming," you then followed him into the water.  You had changed your clothes earlier when he took you home to get some clothes not wanting to sit in a big poofy dress for the rest of the night.

You walked into the cold water and swam over to Cole who was in the middle of just standing as the water moved, he helped you into the water, so you didn't slip, "Thanks," you said as you looked at the stars and the moon.

"Can I ask you something?" Cole asked, after a few moments of silence, "Yeah, of course," you nodded.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he hesitantly questioned causing me to stand up from the water, "What?" 

"I asked if you would be-," 

"I heard what you said," you interrupted, "Why are you asking it?" 

"Because believe it or not Y/n, but I really, really like you," he admitted, "I like you too," you blurted out, "So, will you?" he asked, you nodded and decided to be bold and pull him into a kiss.

The kiss caused butterflies to erupt in your stomach. His lips moved in sync with yours as you guys continued to kiss. 

And that was how prom went.

"You know if Dylan and Erin hadn't made that bet, we wouldn't have happened, " you announced, "Well then I'm really glad Dylan and Erin made that bet," he said, I knew he wasn't being serious because it was a horrible thing to do to someone, but I knew that he was happy about us and our kiss considering the smile on his face.

"Me too," you smiled before leaning back into him, his lips attaching to yours as you kissed in the bright moonlight.

Audrina Speaks!

Just wanted to say that this is probably my favorite request I've ever written and I hope you enjoyed this and all of the others!

Also PLEASE ignore any mistakes and or misspellings!

[spiderfunkz]

[ cheek ] sender kisses receiver's cheek. with tasm!peter parker? thank you sm, and congratulations <3

[ cheek ] sender kisses receiver's cheek + tasm!peter

i'm sorry this took so long love :(( i kinda got carried away with this, and the prompt happens at the end also soo Oops🫨🫨 reader is lowkey mean sarcastically but peter loves it.

it's a thursday evening. the reflection of sunlight on your book starts to fade away as the sun starts to set.

every thursday evening, peter would come to your house for a little study-date. most times you two do homework together and talk for long hours, and other times you two just sit and read in comfortable silence.

but ever since you started dating peter. this started to become an everyday thing. him showing up to your door with the biggest grin as he awkwardly stands there, waiting for you to let him in.

today was no different. he was sitting on the other end of the bed, reading a book.

or that's what you think he's doing. in reality, his eyes were focused on you, he was admiring you instead of the words that are written on his book.

peter couldn't believe that he's dating you now. or really grasp the fact that you're partners now.

i mean, how could someone just sit there and look so beautiful. how can your hair just fall in place so perfectly.

he admires how carefully you flip each page of your book. he admires how focused you are to the book, he watches your eyes move from word to word.

you could feel his doe eyes on you. and he could sense that you can feel it too.

you could feel your cheeks becoming hot as you notice him smile at the corner of your eye. he seems to notice that too.

"you're turning bright red." peter says.

"stop looking at me like that." you reply, eyes still focus on the book you're reading.

"looking at you.. like what?" he teases.

"you're so annoying." you're unamused at his attempt of flirting around.

but his eyes are still focused on you. so, you close your eyes.

"aw c'mon, open your eyes." peter pouts.

"just so you can force me to make unwavering eye contact with you? no thanks." you shut your eyelids.

"but your eyes are beautiful." peter compliments. "you're saying that as an excuse to stare at me more." you peak open your eyes.

"i'm admiring. not staring. there's a difference." he stated.

"and what is the difference?" you ask.

"not much actually. they both make you turn into a tomato." peter shrugs.

you throw a pillow at him. "oh now, that's just bullying."

"no, this is your fault for being a tease." you say.

"well i guess i'll just go home then." peter stood up, uh oh, he has a >:( face.

"i didn't say that. stay with me." you stop him.

his face lit up, causing you to smile. "come here, we can read together again. only if you stop being a tease." you gesture as he sits beside you.

"it's not my fault i'm a tease, my tomato."

you stare at him. "i don't look like a tomato. at least not anymore." you point out.

peter pauses, he kisses you on the cheek swiftly, causing your face to burn up again.

"why did you do that."

"to prove that you look like a tomato! your face is red. burning red. tomato red." he grins.

you try to keep your seriousness in tact. but his smile just makes you wanna smile.

[robsterskellington]

So the first snippet you all wanted was for Soukoku, so I guess we shouldn't have been surprised that you all wanted Shin Soukoku next!

Context: Vanitas has been in Yokohama for over a month now, still has amnesia, and has managed to cure some of the Vampires created by Bram's Ability by using the Book of Vanitas (disclaimer: that is *not* Vanitas' Ability, its just something the book can do- instead of curing Vampires of malnomens, it turns Vampires created by Bram back into Humans). Akutagawa is slowly healing and wants to know exactly how he feels about Atsushi, so now that he's human again, he has been trying to spend time with Atsushi. This is one of those times. Vanitas is not in this piece, but he is mentioned a bit.

Enjoy!

*Ugh, it's the full moon again tonight...* Atsushi was grateful for the affects of All Men Are Created Equal, however the one thing that it couldn't stop was Byakko coming out completely every full moon. It was difficult to lock himself up or hide, though he was always grateful that Dazai had that storage container for him to use. He was mostly moody because...

Atsushi wasn't stupid, obviously he knew at some point Akutagawa and he would have to fight properly, but he couldn't deny that hanging out with Akutagawa outside of everything had been fun. They would spar, they would discuss things about work, though talking about the past was difficult for both of them. They both had their scars, but that was okay- it was a sign that they'd survived so much terror.

As if his thoughts had manifested the man in his thoughts, Akutagawa had sent him a text; Atsushi had wanted to keep in touch officially, since when they weren't fighting each other, they actually defended one another, Akutagawa's neck was proof of that claim. Shaking his head, ridding himself of that nightmarish image, Atsushi opened the text:

*Jinko, I know what tonight is, but I still want you to meet up with me today. If you trust me enough, meet me at the teahouse near the Red Brick Warehouse, in one hour.*

"You should trust him," Ranpo said before Atsushi could even gather his thoughts- he just looked towards the detective, who had a pocky sticking out of his mouth, and was looking through some drawings that Vanitas had made, "Akutagawa's obviously up to something, and I can confirm it's nothing nefarious. Even if it was, you'd still go, right?"

"I don't need to confirm that, you already know you're right." It was like Ranpo was a mind-reader. *Not Gifted, my ass.* Still, he was right, of course he was. If Akutagawa asked to meet, then he'd go, even if nobody else trusted him. The deadline was now four months away, but it didn't matter to him- he could only live in the present for the time being, so he wouldn't let the thoughts of his and Akutagawa's inevitable fight to the death bother him.

Besides, he wasn't needed at the office anyway. Vanitas was probably at the café with the Tanizaki's, the President was at a meeting with Special Operations, and Dazai was likely causing problems. Kyouka and Kenji were enrolled at the local school, so they were likely at their apartments doing their homework. Though Ranpo essentially gave him the go-ahead, Kunikida frowned at him, "Akutagawa's just trying to get you to drop your guard, make it easier for him to kill you."

"No, he isn't. Even if he was, he's still gotta keep his promise for another four months, he won't fight me until then..." Wait, was he actually *defending* the guy who was going to turn him into a tiger skin rug? Atsushi had caught himself but cleared his throat, "I don't believe there's malicious intent. Besides, I can handle myself. I promise, Mr. Kunikida."

Kunikida looked at him from over the top of his glasses and sighed, "Fine. I may not trust that wretched dog, but I trust *you*. Try and stay safe."

"I will!" He ran off after that, though he had the sense to keep his location on his cell in case anything did happen. He doubted Akutagawa would break his promise and kill him early, but one can never be too careful.

*****

The teahouse was one that Akutagawa frequented with Gin, since it was a nice halfway point between the Port Mafia base and their apartment. Akutagawa felt a bit more relaxed than usual- Vanitas had found that despite his Ability being unrelated to the book, which apparently showed illnesses and maladies in Vampires, he could still use it- Vampires were turning back to human, though it was a slow process, since Vanitas was only one man, and Fukuchi had turned about 38% of the entire world into Vampires.

He saw Atsushi heading in his direction and gave him his full attention, "Weretiger. How are you feeling?"

"...same as I always do on days like this." Akutagawa gave him a look of pity; the full transformations weren't something Atsushi had control of, and containing a wild tiger was about as easy as it sounded. Byakko never hurt anyone, but it would break into places that had food, or rummage for scraps. It was a good thing that the Municipal Police and the Military Police had agreed that he wasn't a risk, otherwise he'd be shipped off to Mersault, or put to death.

Morbid thoughts aside, Akutagawa just nodded sympathetically, "I'm going to help you with that. For now, let's get something to eat so you're not suffering later. What's your favourite?"

"I, uhh... chazuke... wait, why are you help-"

"Chazuke. Alright, I'll order us a few bowls, you're going to need the energy."

That *always* happened. Atsushi would ask Akutagawa why he was being nice, or why he was helping, or even why he was so determined to wait for months before they fought to the death, but there was never any answer. Akutagawa had changed since Vanitas reversed the Vampirism... though he also changed in a few other ways. Lungs aren't able to be healed completely once damaged, but the pain could be eased and living with painful lungs could be fine if handled correctly.

Vanitas had apparently been a doctor in his world, and had developed some herbal medicines and remedies, since his world was more advanced in some ways, less advanced in others. Astermite meant that Vanitas' world had a more advanced fuel source while this world would be royally fucked eventually. While hospitals were more advanced here, some of Vanitas' medicines were far better for so much, including a remedy to soothe Akutagawa's lungs, chest and throat.

It wasn't difficult to see all the changes. Akutagawa's coughing had all but subsided, and because of this, he was going out more often since the air didn't feel like smoke was filling his lungs every time he breathed, though he still wore a face mask whenever he went to the beach. The sun was having an affect on him as well, as he'd actually been going out and walking, so he'd developed a slight tan. Finally, the most obvious change was that he'd put on a slight bit of weight- who knew it was easier to enjoy food when you weren't constantly coughing up everything you swallowed?

Atsushi could finally see just how much Akutagawa could eat in a sitting now, and despite him obviously not gorging himself, it was apparent that it was more than he'd usually eat. They both ate until they had a small pile of bowls each, then Akutagawa paid the bill. The time was going faster than Atsushi had liked, since he honestly just wanted to sit here and talk with Akutagawa. It was like they could be normal kids for once. Akutagawa may point out that at 20 years old, he was no longer a child, but Atsushi wasn't buying that.

Once it had evidently reached the right time, Akutagawa stood up and held his hand out to Atsushi, "Are you willing to trust me?"

He shouldn't. Akutagawa had hurt him so much, and yet... when everything looked bad, and Atsushi was at his lowest moments, Akutagawa was the one to help him. Sure, Dazai had done a lot, but that was more because he must have felt obligated, Akutagawa didn't have that same issue.

Atsushi took his hand.

****

"I didn't know you could drive!" It took around an hour, but Akutagawa had driven them both to what looked like a forest just outside of town. Akutagawa had a simple black car, complete Mafia style, and Atsushi had wondered how he never knew. After all, most of the Port Mafia of a higher station, like Akutagawa, Kouyou, Chuuya and obviously the Boss, were normally driven around.

"It's a skill that a lot of people need to learn, Jinko. I learned to drive at 14." He smirked when he watched Atsushi grow pale and simply nodded, "Illegal, of course. But we are the Port Mafia for a reason. The Boss and some of the execs teach any young recruits the basic criminal stuff, like how to kill, steal, manipulate. However, we are also taught first aid, how to drive, how to cook and to protect ourselves and the Port Mafia."

"...did Dazai skip the learn to cook tutorial? And the driving one?" Atsushi winced at remembering the slop Dazai once served to them, calling it his *Super Stamina Hot Pot Curry*. Yosano's Ability worked overtime that day. And Kunikida had told Atsushi about Dazai's driving- his eyes still looked haunted by the memory, and he ended up throwing up. Driving so bad that even the memory causes motion sickness? Impressive, if not horrifying.

Akutagawa failed to hold back his laughter this time, and Atsushi stared at him; this was the first time he'd ever heard the sound of Akutagawa's laugh, and it was enough to make him smile. In that moment, with him holding his stomach and shaking with a grin on his face, Akutagawa looked younger. It was truly a sight, though Atsushi hid concern over the fact that his heart had skipped a beat, and he wasn't quite sure why his thoughts turned to just how *beautiful* Akutagawa looked with-

"No, he tried to learn," Akutagawa said while wiping a few stray tears from his eyes, continuing to giggle, "However, it was quickly decided that some things shouldn't be taught to some people. Meaning, only Dazai. Is he still bad?"

"Less said the better." Atsushi laughed, wincing at the memories. He looked around, at all the trees, flowers and listened to the birds chirping from above. It was so peaceful here, and the setting sun kept them warm for the time being. Akutagawa had picked up a backpack from the trunk of his car before they had started walking, and Atsushi knew better than to ask. Eventually, they reached a clearing, where there was a giant tree, lying on its side with its roots revealed. Atsushi glanced at Akutagawa who just stared at the tree before asking quietly, "Akutagawa, what is this place?"

"...we've known each other a long time. Obviously things are a little strained between us, but I know I can trust you. So, you can call me Ryū, if you'd like." That had made Atsushi flinch, but he couldn't deny that being told he could use not only Akutagawa's given name, but a shortened version to make it more casual, felt really good.

"Ryū. Okay, deal... though I don't think I'd get used to you calling me Atsushi. That freaked me out enough when you had the flu." They both looked embarrassed at that and Atsushi rubbed the back of his neck, "Weretiger and Jinko are fine."

"Agreed. And to answer your question... this is where I met Dazai." Atsushi froze and stared at Akutagawa, who had a warm smile on his face, "I was 14 years old. I came here, tracking down some men who had attacked Gin and I's street family."

It wasn't a secret that the Akutagawa siblings grew up in the slums, mostly the ones in Suribachi City, but to hear Akutagawa openly recounting the memories was strange. Atsushi wasn't sure he could ever actually tell anyone about his time at the Orphanage- the burns, the stabbing, getting nails hammered into his hands, the time he was nearly crucified? He ignored his thoughts as he continued to listen:

"One of the boys had stolen a diamond from those men, and Rashōmon proved that it was real. We were all so excited, thinking about where to sell it, knowing that with that money, we could buy a place of our own and enough food to live off until we could heal, get cleaned up, and find jobs to continue living a decent lifestyle." Even as desperate, starving children, they weren't willing to be stupid or wasteful with money. "However... those men hunted us down, and attacked."

"All for one diamond?!" That was disgusting. He winced and looked at Akutagawa, "How many of you were there?"

"Seven. Then suddenly, it was just Gin and myself. When I'm afraid or panicked, I can't control Rashōmon properly, so I was unable to avoid getting shot in the stomach. Gin was the only girl, and the men saw it. So they took her with them when they couldn't find the diamond, with the intent to sell her." Atsushi's body went cold, yet he couldn't imagine how Akutagawa must've felt.

A 14 year old boy, who had watched his friends die, got shot, and had his only family stolen from him. Obviously he would have wanted revenge, acted like a rabid dog who had lost too much and decided to go truly feral. Atsushi understood now why Akutagawa made sure to keep as calm as possible with fighting- if Rashōmon can't protect him, nothing can.

Again, thoughts manifested as Rashōmon took a small form, appearing as a demonic head on Akutagawa's shoulder, nuzzling its master's cheek, which made him smile. Not many people understood that Rashōmon was a Living Ability: a Gift that was literally alive. Capable of its own thoughts and feelings, but still under the control of it User. Demon Snow was an example of this, and while Byakko was as well, it was more independent and didn't do what it was told when fully out.

"I tracked the men down, to here. They didn't have Gin with them, so I demanded to know where she was. That was when they made the mistake of lying to me. They told me that she had been killed on her way to the person who bought her." He took a breath, trying not to let the memories consume him completely, "I hurt them, screamed obscenities, demanded to know who killed her. But they only screamed, or told me to kill myself if I wanted to see her again. I killed them all."

Atsushi found himself walking over to Akutagawa and putting his hands on his shoulders, "Ryū, if this is too much, I-" He watched as Akutagawa put a hand on top of his, before shaking his head.

"I'm okay, Jinko. Anyway, after that, I heard a voice from behind me. It was a boy, a little older than me, his eye wrapped with bandages. Rashōmon thought he was going to hurt me, and lashed at him, only to be dissipated by his Ability." Dazai, of course. Atsushi tilted his head and Akutagawa smirked, "The men were jewel smugglers for the Port Mafia, but found out they could make more profit by selling them to other organisations. Dazai came to eliminate them, but saw that I had done his job for him. I was lost, a scared child with nothing left. So I asked him: *can you give me a reason to live*? And he did. He lead me to the Port Mafia."

That explained Akutagawa's earlier jealousy. Dazai had saved Atsushi, too. Though the circumstances were very different. Atsushi concentrated on the story though, "Did he also lead you to Gin?"

"He did. She'd been sold to a child fighting ring." At the sight of Atsushi's jaw dropping, he sighed, "*Yes*, that's a thing. *No*, the Port Mafia doesn't allow that. We train children to work with us, we'd never force them to fight to the death for profit."

"Okay, thank God." He took a breath to relax then nodded towards the backpack, "Sorry to change the subject, but..?"

Akutagawa answered by removing the backpack and emptying its contents: a few blankets, some food, hot tea in flasks, and some spare clothes. He looked towards Atsushi and spoke gently, "There's a second reason I brought you here. I know your Tiger causes issues in town, so... now it has a whole forest to explore. I'll stay with you, make sure you don't wander off, and you can transform without fear."

Atsushi moved without thinking. He wrapped his arms tightly around Akutagawa, feeling as if he could cry. This beautiful forest was perfect for Byakko to wander and explore, and with nobody around, there was zero chance of anyone getting hurt. Akutagawa could easily protect himself if the Tiger was hostile, but he doubted that it would be. Mostly because...

Fun fact: tigers aren't able to purr like cats do, and yet- here Atsushi was, a soft rumbling sound coming from his chest, that only got louder when Akutagawa wrapped his arms around Atsushi. He made no comments about the purring, and Atsushi suddenly understood why as Rashōmon began to make a similar sound. The Tiger and Rashōmon purred together, and they made their Users want to laugh, but they were also getting their Users to relax.

After a little longer, Akutagawa pulled away, to set up the blankets. Atsushi also noticed that he'd brought a book about birds, seeing that some of the birds on the cover were actually in the forest. It would be good to see what birds they could spot while the sun was still providing light. He also had another book for entertainment- Atsushi recognised it as one Kyouka read, and while he thought the language used was a little vulgar for her, he saw that it was obviously a love story and let it slide.

They ate snacks and bird watched, but then Akutagawa decided to ask: "Do you remember how you got your Ability?" At his puzzles look, Akutagawa elaborated, "Were you born with the Tiger, or did you inherit it? Or... did the Orphanage experiment on you, or traumatise you enough that the Tiger was the result?"

Atsushi frowned to himself, having to really think about that. The first option of being born with the Tiger made sense, though it was certainly an unusual Gift to be born with. Not unheard of, just unusual. The only experiment that he went through was with Shibuzawa, but he already had the Tiger by that point. Maybe the trauma did create the Ability, but at the same time, weren't they beating the shit out of him *because* he could turn into a Tiger? He had nobody to inherit the Gift from, so that was out of the window. "...I have no idea. If I had to guess, I'd say I was born with it."

"I see. Forgive my curiosity, I just couldn't help myself!" Akutagawa wanted to know more about Atsushi, it felt better to. The boy had tried to save him so many times, even when he was verbally and physically assaulting him. Even when Fukuchi killed him, the last thing he saw was Atsushi trying to reach out to him. The mind may trick people, but eyes don't lie- Atsushi had been devastated by his death, and Akutagawa would have been as well if their positions had been switched. Not that he could admit that, yet.

"...what about you?" He found himself asking meekly. When he saw Akutagawa's face drop, he hurriedly spoke while waving his hands, "You don't have to answer, I just-"

"Inherited." He said with a soft voice. Atsushi blinked and Akutagawa sighed, "Well, I took Rashōmon from its original master- mistress, actually- though it chose me to wield it."

Atsushi found himself sitting up and giving Akutagawa his full attention. He chuckled and looked up at the sky- once he'd verified that there was enough time, he told his story:

*****

When Gin and I were young, I think I was about 6, so Gin was 4, our parents decided that they didn't want kids anymore. So they dumped us at our grandparents doorstep, and we never saw them again. Our grandmother was Gifted with Rashōmon- a Living Ability that turns cloth into a blade, armour, and a beast.

She didn't want children, nor grandchildren, she wanted servants. So Gin and I were forced to take that role. Our grandfather wasn't any better- we couldn't even call them our grandparents, we had to refer to them as Master and Mistress. So we became their help, having to cook, clean, go shopping. We weren't allowed to spend a penny on ourselves, and we could only eat the scraps that they didn't eat.

Years were spent like that, but things changed one day; the Master had developed a lung disease, one I found out later that the bastard knew he would develop and pass on to any offspring. He didn't bother to get treatment, refused any medication Gin and I bought... we hated him, but we still didn't want him to die. But he perished. That was when the Mistress decided she was done with "being nice".

She sought out any excuse to beat us, and slash us using her Gift, but what she didn't count on was the fact that Rashōmon was *alive* and had morals of its own. One day, she was whipping me, I think I didn't scrub the floor well enough, but Rashōmon just... wrapped around her wrist and stopped her. That was when I learned that it was alive.

Tachihara once made the joke of me being vulnerable when naked, but the truth is, Rashōmon is a part of *me* not just my clothing. I just can't use the Ability with no cloth. However, Rashōmon does take a while to transfer from cloth to nothing, so if I have Rashōmon in my coat and take it off, it takes a few moments before I can use it on my shirt. Thats what happens when we use Kokko Zessō, I make sure that Rashōmon stays with you, Weretiger.

The Mistress was so angry at Rashōmon for refusing to hurt me, that she stripped naked then and there, so that Rashōmon was still in her kimono. From there, she cast it into a fire. That's the thing with Living Abilities- they feel pain just like us. And it's screams were horrible to hear. She just watched it burn, and left. That... was how I developed a bond with it. I saved a scrap of the burning cloth and managed to douse the flames. It was such a relief to see the beast's tiny head rise from the cloth, and I assured Rashōmon that it would be okay. It reformed back on the Mistress later, but something had obviously changed.

The beatings were mine to take, but clearly the Mistress had enough. She decided that I'd never be perfect, no matter how many beatings I took, so she decided she'd take away the one thing that mattered most to me: Gin.

She'd grabbed a kitchen knife, and went to stab my sister, but Rashōmon made her sleeve so tight that her wrist broke. After she dropped the knife, I grabbed it. One stab to the chest was all it took; I was furious, I wanted her to suffer, but I also wanted to be *better* than her. She laughed at me, even when she was dying, calling me weak and pathetic. My weakness in that moment died, and I finally spoke, words I'd never needed to use before, but it was fitting now.

"*Rashōmon: Jaws of Endless Gates!!*"

There was nothing left of her. I thought Gin would think I was a monster, but even she had a moment and spat on the bitch's remains. Rashōmon had purred, calming us both down. That was the day I became Gifted.

****

"After that, we stole everything we could and ended up living in the slums." Akutagawa was sat, holding his knees to his chest, and he saw that Atsushi had no expression on his face, "I'm sorry if I look more like a monster to you now, I and my Little Beast."

"No, you don't. You look like a caring brother who just couldn’t handle any more abuse." Atsushi held out his hand, summoning his Tiger's claws, "Besides, I can't judge. If I knew what I was capable of when I was younger, I probably would have killed the Headmaster myself, and I admit that I don't regret killing Shibuzawa. Both times, I didn't actually feel bad."

Taking a life was never easy, not even for the Port Mafia. Assassin's, mercenaries and usurpers, but still human. Sure, one can become distant and indifferent, but at some point, stomachs turn and you can't handle it. Even the Agency carried guns, but actually shooting someone was a different story. Shooting, slashing, hurting in general, everyone is physically capable, but not mentally.

Atsushi shivered as he realised that the sun had set, and the moon had begun rising, though he felt... calmer. Byakko was calm, this forest was peaceful. Maybe being able to run around, stretch its legs would do him the world of good? It didn't take long for it to become a reality.

White fur, bright yellow eyes, and giant claws formed, with a mouth filled with razor sharp fangs. But Byakko didn't growl or roar, it... sniffed.

The fearsome, supposedly man eating Tiger, was holding its head down, sniffing the ground like a puppy! It prowled, smelling the air, scratching trees, before breaking off into a run, climbing aforementioned trees or rolling around on the soft grass.

Akutagawa watched with a stunned expression, he couldn't help but take some photos and videos, completely awestruck. Atsushi was likely buried deep inside, and Byakko was the one completely in control. He briefly imagined that this must be what it's like for Chuuya using Corruption, having to let Arahabaki take the wheel as it were.

Hours were spent like this: Byakko explored the forest, not hunting since the only pray were the birds, plus because Atsushi had eaten a lot, the Tiger didn't feel the need to eat. Akutagawa went between watching, filming, taking pictures and reading his book.

He'd gotten a little *too* relaxed, he realised, when Rashōmon suddenly hissed- the Tiger had strolled up to them, though it seemed calm. Akutagawa trusted Rashōmon to protect him, as he held his hand out. Byakko seemed to recognise Akutagawa as someone that it's User cared about, and placed its head in Akutagawa's hand, letting out a soft purr.

*Incredible...* Akutagawa thought to himself as he pet the Tiger, feeling the soft rumbling of its chest. Byakko eventually laid down beside Akutagawa, falling asleep. It was really late, at least for them, it was about 3am now. Akutagawa didn't know how well this would turn out, but he laid beside the Tiger, pulling a blanket over himself and letting sleep consume him.

*****

Atsushi woke up the next morning feeling *warm*. He was still a little sleepy, but he became aware that he was wrapped in a blanket and... being held? But the only one with him was-

His eyes snapped open as he registered the fact that he was with Akutagawa last night. And right now, Akutagawa was asleep, *holding Atsushi in his arms*!! Atsushi tried to stay calm, and to not panic, trying to think about how to explain all this, when he felt his chest rumbling. Oh, did the Tiger decide to betray him?!

No, apparently not. Akutagawa's arms held him a little tighter, keeping Atsushi warm and secure. It was nice, *really* nice. He found himself yawning, and snuggling into Akutagawa's embrace completely.

Maybe five more minutes wouldn't hurt?

[aintgonnatakethis]

Writing Interview Tag!

Big thanks to @moltenwrites for the tag! I've seen this going around and was hoping to be tagged at some point. *rubs hands together* There'll be a readmore at the bottom with the templates for both desktop and mobile.

About me

When did you start writing?

Very young, around 5-6. I remember there was homework where the teacher gave everyone a list of words and asked us to write a sentence with each word. I would turn in a paragraph for each instead 😂 When I was 14 I was writing a lot of Doctor Who fic on FFnet (I can't believe that was 16 years ago 💀) and during the lockdown I started writing again for something to do.

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

I don't think so? Sorry, that's a really unsatisfying answer, I know. It's like when you're asked what your favourite book is and you instantly forget every book you've ever read 😂

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

Is this gonna be weird? Probably. Am I gonna fight through the anxiety anyway? Sure, you betcha! @septembriseur is one of the best writers I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Your Telford is second to none. Thank you.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Just sitting in my bed cradling my laptop. Despite only being 3 and a half years old it's got a whole host of things wrong with it, the most problematic being a loose connection somewhere inside the charging port. To be able to charge I have to sit in a very specific position and stay still, with a metal water bottle braced against the charging cable to keep it pushed in, another cable tied around it with an elastic band and hooked over the opposite side of the laptop. It's... honestly not the best lol. But it's a gaming laptop so getting it fixed would probably be expensive and I just don't have the money.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Am I allowed to say drugs? 😂 I'm prescribed ADHD meds and Pregabalin for anxiety, and they both help me focus enough to get words down on the page. I'd be pretty screwed without them tbh. I had an appointment with a doctor today and am getting an instant release ADHD medication added to my prescription as the extended release wears off by mid-to-late afternoon, so maybe I'll be able to get another daily writing session in when I take that!

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

Hn. I want to say not really, but it must have influenced me in some way, right? Kids are sponges and will soak up and mimic the behaviours of the adults around them, and often people will reach adulthood with opinions and ideas that they don't even realise were created by an outside influence.

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

QUEER! And no, it doesn't surprise me at all. 😂 I love writing about self-discovery, characters figuring out they can grow outside of the box society has built for them.

Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

So, uh, I'm just gonna link y'all here, where I ramble on about David Telford from Stargate Universe for fucking ages. He's in my brain spinning plates as we speak. (He never stops.)

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Well, in real life I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone in the military. While the US military is a special interest of mine because of Stargate, I am very aware that these characters are not realistic when compared to their real life counterparts. Realism in this area is one reason my favourite of the series is Universe, but even then these men aren't... Well, let's just say that - just like in politics - you don't get far in the military if you're a good person.

Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

😬😬😬 I mean, the fact they're dislikeable is part of the draw, ya know? I think irl-Young would suck absolute balls. 😂

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

Not super applicable as I'm a solely fandom writer, but the parts of the characters we're not given by the show come to me as I write, like puzzle pieces slotting into place. A good back-and-forth conversation is another excellent way to dig deep into them.

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

QUEER! But being serious, I've given both Everett Young (SGU) and John Sheppard (SGA) intrusive thoughts...

My writing

What’s your reason for writing?

Escapism. Creativity. The characters are in my head screaming at me.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

Ooh, the long back-and-forth conversations! I'm here to talk endlessly about these little fucking blorbos and I will ramble about them to anyone!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Taking this very seriously: a man. I know that fandom is typically a woman-dominated area and I've met quite a few other trans people through Stargate, but yeah. I know there are cultural differences with what are generally considered gender neutral terms around the world, but I do not want to ever be referred to as a girl or with woman-coded terms. I've had to fight hard to be able to be myself: man, dude, bro, there are a lot of choices.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Hmm... consistency? I set the New Year's resolution to write something every day in 2022. That year I missed 2 and half weeks because I had top surgery and while beforehand I thought 'awesome, I'll have plenty of time to write!' it turned out that recent wounds almost in my armpits makes it quite painful to move my arms... 🤔 In 2023 I wrote every day and so far I've kept that up in 2024. It's not always a lot of words, but it's always something.

What have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

Characterisation. I've been told I've got my SGU boys (Telford, Young, and Rush) down to a tee.

How do you feel about your own writing?

There's a cycle where I look back at stuff I've written and compare it to what I'm currently writing and think 'this new stuff isn't as good', but in 3 months the stuff I'm currently writing will be what I think is good so... There are pieces I'm especially proud of, of course. If you'd allow me to plug for a moment, I think a memory, a distant echo is one of the best things I've ever written. Mind the tags though.

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

Yeah sure. I write primarily for myself so I don't see any reason why I'd stop. I wouldn't live long though lmao

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

First point of contact has to be with me, always. If something doesn't resonate with me, I can't write it. Forcing things is going to make writing unenjoyable and for me it's one of the most joyous things I do and I want to keep it that way. That said, if there's specific interest in a certain idea I have, that of course does motivate me. Feedback is the nectar of writers!

Tagging: @fortunatetragedy @bagheerita @frostysfrenzy @adriankyte-writes @frostedlemonwriter

@gioiaalbanoart @septembriseur @authorcoledipalo @anonmadsci @the-golden-comet + OPEN

@wolgerrswraith @chaniis-atlantis

About me

When did you start writing?

Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?

Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?

Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?

Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character?

Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?

Which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?

Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters?

Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?

How do you picture your characters?

My writing

What’s your reason for writing?

Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating?

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?

How do you feel about your own writing?

If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

About meWhen did you start writing?Are there different genres or themes you enjoy reading other than the ones you write?Is there an author you want to emulate, or are compared to often?can you tell me a bit about your writing space? What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and/or places you write about?Are there any reoccurring themes in your writing? If so, do they surprise you?Characters: would you please tell me about your current favorite character? Which of your characters would you be friends with in real life?which characters would you dislike the most of you met them?Tell me about the process of coming up with your characters? Do you notice any reoccurring themes/traits in your characters?How do you picture your characters? My writing: what’s your reason for writing?Is there any specific comment or type of comment from readers that you find particularly motivating? How do you want to be thought about by your readers?What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?have you been told is your greatest strength as a writer is by others?How do you feel about your own writing?If you were the last person on earth, would you still write?When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, do you write purely for yourself, or is it a mix of both?

[lovingseventeen]

my random thought just suddenly wondering how it feels to have seventeen as your older brother 🥺 personally, i think seungcheol, jeonghan, woozi, hoshi, eisa and vernon radiates big bro energy jsjdhdhshsjs btw i love your writings 😻

svt as older brothers

a/n: this is totally independent from the members and their siblings irl/where they are in their actual sibling lineages lol

seungcheol:

✰ literally an additional guardian

✰ when you come home late he’s in the living room like “where were you” -_-

✰ little tough, but he’s also the person you trust the most

jeonghan:

✰ always always teases you

✰ but still manages to be sweet in the end

✰ if he annoys you too much he'll try to make it up to you by giving you a small gift

✰ sometimes it’s a bag of your favorite chips or maybe it’s a new pack of nice pens because he knows you like them

joshua:

✰ easy going and doesn’t really bother you

✰ also quite responsible so you can rely on him to help you with homework or general responsibilities

✰ although he will (lovingly) post a very cringe (in his opinion, cute) picture of you from your childhood for your birthday greetings

✰ i can’t believe y/n is so grown now, i might just cry 🥰✨🫶 *used ironically*

jun:

✰ unspoken understanding type of close

✰ he’s pretty responsible too but it’s disguised with how weird he is LMAO

✰ will make a controversial snack and always ask if you want some ???

✰ the best bro to watch stupid comedies with

hoshi:

✰ the kind of sibling that you'd bicker with a lot because of the tiger agenda and general small annoying instances

✰ the kind of menace in the sense that he’ll ruffle and mess up your hair or hang out in your room for no reason

✰ but he's also simultaneously your number one defender

✰ someone's interested in you? ohoho get ready to face the older brother interrogation

✰ expect to not be able to easily flirt with anyone, he's gonna ruin it

✰ “oh is this the guy you were giggling about last night-” right before you push him out of your conversation

✰ your s/o broke your heart? NOBODY give him their location

wonwoo:

✰ the perfect sibling to participate in parallel play LMAOO

✰ the two of you are in the same room doing completely different things and honestly, it’s a comfort

✰ the kind to send you a meme instead of just showing it to you on his phone even if you’re on the same couch

woozi:

✰ also a very responsible big bro

✰ i feel like he’d be the best to go to for any advice

✰ maybe more on the serious side but he’s always welcoming to you and sincerely listens

dokyeom:

✰ honestly the kind of sibling that will definitely do stupid shit with you

✰ the kind of brother you’d make a tiktok about bc he’s doing something equally funny and weird

✰ quite literally the most entertaining family member during karaoke sessions on holidays bc he has the voice of an angel but also the energy of a thousand suns when he feels like it

✰ even if you guys ever jokingly bicker i can't imagine him ever really getting mean so y'all don't really argue

mingyu:

✰ always prepares extra food for you

✰ if he gets up earlier than everyone and has to make breakfast for himself, best believe he's making more than one serving so you have something when you wake up too

minghao:

✰ still slightly babies you even if you’re grown

✰ in his mind you’re still his baby sibling and that he has to take care of you regardless of your age

✰ even as adults he might text you on a day that it’s raining and ask “did you bring an umbrella with you to work today?”

✰ puts in the effort for a chance to hang out with you when he can 🥺

seungkwan:

✰ why is arguing with him so funny LMAOAO

✰ go into his room to knock something small over and leave without saying anything and he's ready to throw hands

✰ will jokingly fight you but immediately apologize if he accidentally hits you too hard or he thinks he might’ve hurt you

✰ “what. is. your. problem- oh shit i’m sorry i didn’t mean that-”

vernon:

✰ the chillest older brother omg

✰ reliable in the sense that he'd probably accompany you in your shenanigans - literally goes with the flow

✰ you don't have someone to go with you to this late concert? sure he'll tell your parents he'll go with you

✰ “you wanna go see this band with me?” you ask, showing a poster on your phone

✰ “sure?”

✰ you need someone to drive you somewhere? yeah he can spare an hour, just text him when you need him to pick you up

dino:

✰ also another fun sibling to argue with

✰ it’s fun to tease him by saying he’s your little brother even when he literally isn’t

✰ “y/n i’m literally *insert the exact number of days he was born before you* days older than you”

[siren-serenity]

ingame voicelines

what would they say about you? would they murmur sweet compliments or chuckle at your silly mistakes? in which yuu asks these strange students of night raven college about you: and is surprised to find out that they have lovers?

characters: riddle rosehearts, leona kingscholar, azul ashengrotto, rook hunt, gn!reader warnings: reader is not yuu! a/n: feedback is appreciated!

"have you seen y/n around? they promised me that they would have tea with me around this time...oh? they had to stay back to help professor crewel? *chuckle* i always knew my king of hearts was very studious but still..."

"no! yuu, don't sit there! rule 29 of the queen of hearts, only the king of hearts can sit on the right side of the queen! phew, you almost broke a rule. i didn't want to have your head, not during the unbirthday party."

"oh, hello yuu! 'why am i smiling?' you asked? well, *blushes* my king just came to wish me good luck for my riding competition before pinning their good-luck brooch onto my outfit. i'm so blessed to have them..."

"grrr, hey. herbivore. if you see y/n around, tell them to come to their king. i can't sleep without them.....why are you laughing?"

"hm? you asked why did i ask ruggie to get me two sandwiches instead of one? y/n's joining me today to play a round of chess. they've been insisting on spending quality time as a couple, tch. they're so sweet........you heard me? no, you didn't."

"*sigh* the one time i actually want to go to class and i'm being hounded by a curious herbivore...what do you want, yuu? *listens* hmm? i'm gonna go to class because y/n's in it. now, move. they're waiting for me and i have no intentions of keeping them waiting."

"who is y/n? oh, they were someone who i made a deal with in the past. why do you look so worried, yuu? do not fear, i hold y/n too close in my heart to hurt them."

"terribly sorry but i cannot permit you to sit there...why? my beloved adores sitting there, staring into mostro's aquarium while doing their homework is one of their favorites...i cannot allow anyone else to take away their happiness."

"when did i meet y/n? let's see...it was during our childhood. we grew up together; y/n always defended me from my bullies like my knight in shining armor. i still cannot believe that they stayed with me through everything even going as far to joining me at the surface and enrolling in night raven college together. *lovesick smile* oh, what did i do to deserve them?"

"yuu! what a glorious day it is today- hmm? what does 'amour de ma vie' mean? *snickers* your pronunciation is so cute, but needs some work, mon ami! amour de ma vie means love of my life..."

"what do i love about them? why, i could go on for centuries! their smile is like the sun; it gives me life and reasons to live. i could never go a day without seeing their beautiful face caressed by the morning dawn nor could i go a day without seeing their peaceful expression as they slumber into the evening night. *sees yuu's taken-aback expression and laughs* apologies, yuu. i could never shut up when it comes to mon amour."

"excuse me, yuu! please step aside for a moment. *prepares his bow and arrow to fire* don't fear! i'm simply sending an arrow of love to mon amour...*fires before smiling at a shocked yuu* don't worry, the arrow is enchanted to not hurt them, it's a spell of protection from their beloved hunter...*smiles dreamily* i wonder how they shall reply! *arrow fires back, nearly hitting yuu but rests in a grinning rook's hand. he reads it before dashing away but not before shouting over his shoulder* goodbye, mon ami! mon cheri awaits me!"

[changingplumbob]

Pancakes Household: Chapter 8, Part 3

In this part Bob works on increasing his fame despite being a loner, but mainly it is Iggy's party! Time to join the teen world. The rolled traits/aspiration are set to be... a ride (I didn't mean that as a pun, but when you read you'll understand it kind of works as a pun).

For clarity Bob's nickname for Eliza is Jumble, and Eliza's nickname for Bob is Sleek. I'll try to capitalise them when they're being used as names to make any translations easier.

Harvey: We better head home, mum will have finished her next art piece by now

Carson: Thanks for having us Mrs Pancakes

Eliza: You’re welcome. Iggy dear, before you run off can you help clean up?

Iggy: Fine. But I’m still rebelling

Eliza: Whatever you say

Fergus: Ginger all you have to do it lie down, you do it all the time, just lie down

Ginger: *barks* kid is treating me like an idiot

Everyone else has contributed to laundry duty today except Bob so it’s up to him to hang it all up. He then works on a blue confetti cake for Iggy’s party tomorrow, never sure why birthday cakes don’t improve his baking skill. He had elected to take the day ff work but having done everything he wanted to do at home 2 hours into his shift he decides to head to work anyway, got to impress the bosses.

On his last night as a child Iggy spends some time on the tiny violin while Fergus, outside the gaze of his parents, dominates his homework. He may be rebelling but as a grade A student he does like to do it. Eliza can finally make some business calls, the opportunities always pop up at the most bizarre times. Since she’s still very dazed it doesn’t go well, and she takes Bob’s advice to lie down.

Bob: Shift was crazy. I-

Eliza: I’m awake! I’m awake

Bob: *chuckles* sure you are

Eliza: What were you saying Sleek?

Bob: That critic came back so instead of the mac and cheese I did the lobster dish. He approved but I know he was wanting more cheese

Eliza: Did you bring me leftovers

Bob: Not today. Let’s go to sleep

Eliza: But woohoo! I like woohoo!

Bob: Jumble you’re still smoking, and sound exhausted. I know you’ll want to be awake for the party tomorrow. You need sleep

Eliza: *sighs* Spoilsport

Bob: Happy birthday!

Iggy: Thanks dad. Are you sure I can’t just age up now

Bob: If you do that you can’t go to school today

Iggy: Exactly!

Eliza: No one is missing school. And no one is missing their own birthday party

Fergus: Remember, if you don’t like any of your presents, I’ll take them

Eliza: Will you take today off work

Bob: No, I’ll have time to party before my shift. How about you

Eliza: I need to take the day or I’ll miss the party

Bob and Eliza both feel the need to exercise, they are active sims after all. While Bob volunteers to brave the rain to take Ginger for a jog, Eliza, who is not a fan of getting rained on, uses the exercise machine on the deck. Afterwards she’s pleased to discover her husband hung the washing up properly and takes down the now dry laundry.

Bob: Hello followers. Today we will be doing some lobster. First step, as always, prep. Prep your workspace, prep your ingredients, prep your cooking attitude!

The drone beeps that more viewers have tuned in.

Bob: Now lobster is expensive, not all of us can afford it. We’re lucky that here in Brindleton Bay there’s a fresh supply at a reasonable price. Next time we’ll look at how to get the best flavour for your fish, no matter how fancy, so be sure to tune in!

Bob: Remember guys, putting the dish in the oven is not like reaching the end of a book. You can always take the meal out as it cooks to add more flavour, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do!

The drone beeps to show Bob has gained more followers.

Bob: Thanks for subscribing everyone. Believe me I’m doing much better than if you were here in person. And at long last, our meal! Sparkling with excellence. But we’re still not at the end of the book guys! Final step, as my wife often tells me, is to clean up! If you’re like me, you hate it, but it’s important to keep your kitchen sanitised.

Eliza: Great stream jumble, I kept the computer open to it while Aaron was helping me with my debating

Bob: Please tell me it was on mute

Aaron: You’re better than you give yourself credit for Bob

Bob: I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t need the fame for promotion

Eliza: Charisma is always a beneficial skill

Bob: Don’t mind me, I’m going to start the next book

Aaron: You mentally prepared for your oldest to be a teenager

Eliza: Not even close

The kids get home and it looks like it’ll be an indoor party.

Iggy: Carson, take a picture with me before the height difference confuses the camera

Bob: Cake is up! Where’s the birthday kid?

Iggy: Right here dad

Eliza: Make a wish

Iggy thinks for a minute, then blows out the candles!

Iggy roles the ambitious traits from their parents, but since that can’t be applied as a teen, it’ll be the YA trait. So a reroll lands the horse lover trait, as well as the joke star aspiration despite a weakness for comedy. We have our third pansexual Pancakes and they also rolled being genderfluid. I’m going to do my best googling and rereading of Lumpinou’s LGBTQIA mod notes to hopefully represent them accurately.

The cake goes down a hit and the guests tuck in. Bob has to go to work but Iggy pulls him aside before he leaves.

Iggy: Before you go dad, I just want you to know…

Bob: Yes?

Iggy: I’ve been thinking, about myself and.. I’m pansexual

Bob: Awesome! Just like me and your mother

Iggy: Wait, you’re pan?

Bob: Yeah. Everyone always forgets because we’re in a straight presenting relationship, but we are. I got to head off but I love you buddy, thanks for opening up

Iggy watches their dad go and has mixed feeling about not having time to broach their gender.

Iggy returns to their party and mingles around their friends, trying to get as many selfies as they can to cement themselves as a teenager.

Iggy: I’m so excited to see what high school is like

Amie: Don’t be, it’s not very exciting

Angel: Well I like it

Iggy: Since I already became a llamacorn scout I’m thinking of joining the cheer squad

William: Not football

Iggy: So I can get hit in the face constantly? I don’t think so. Anyway, I’ll see you all tomorrow, okay?

Darwin: Sure thing, later Pancakes

With the party done Iggy heads to the study where Eliza helps them tackle their homework.

Iggy: But what do they mean? Since when is pie a chart

Eliza: Don’t worry, your dad would get stuck but I know all about that

They both stumble through it and Iggy sighs in relief when it’s done.

Eliza: Are you okay? You just aged up with high confidence but you seem downcast

Iggy: It’s just a lot to adjust to mother

Eliza: Want to tell me about it? Sometimes a problem seems less big if you get it out of your head

Iggy: Well I told dad before he left but, I’m pan. He said that was just like the two of you

Eliza: Oh you bet! I like a nice ass, no matter the identity of the person it belongs to

Iggy: OMW mother! It’s hard enough to go from not thinking about romance to suddenly having all these attraction thoughts without hearing about what you find attractive

Eliza: Sorry. I’m just glad you shared this with me. Come give me a hug son

Iggy leans in to her hug, but ultimately has to pull back.

Eliza: What is it?

Iggy: I’m not exactly your son

Eliza: Oh?

Iggy isn’t to sure what to say next but Eliza gives their hand a reassuring squeeze.

Iggy: I’ve realised I’m not a guy. At least, not all the time. I’m this thing called genderfluid, I don’t know if you know about it…

Eliza: If it’s part of you, I want to learn. I promise to listen

Iggy: Okay mother. So you know how most people will have a gender identity and stick to it? I don’t. Some days I’ll feel like your son, some days I’ll feel like your daughter, some days I’ll feel like I’m somewhere inbetween.

Eliza: Who are you today Iggy? Oh shoot, should I call you Iggy? I can change if you want me to

Iggy: *laughs* Hey mother, this is new for me to, we’re both bound to make mistakes. Today is very much a they/them day though

Eliza: Come here then my child

Iggy: *laughs* you sound silly

Eliza: Hey now, if it’s to make you feel happy and safe, I’ll sound as silly as… well, a thing that’s ridiculously silly

Iggy: Socks and jandals

Eliza: *laughs* As silly as socks and jandals

They hug and Iggy feels a weight lifted. They might just float to the roof if Eliza lets go.

Eliza: You may be on the cheer squad, but I’ll always be your biggest cheerleader okay? So will you dad

Iggy: About that, can you tell him? I don’t know how

Eliza: *sighs* I’m afraid you’re going to come out to people for the rest of your life. It’s a side effect of being in a mostly straight cis world. It can help to tell those that love you first, and your dad loves you. I will if you want me to but please consider telling him yourself, I know he’d appreciate it

Iggy: I guess I could practice by telling Fergus, and if that doesn’t blow up in my face I’ll tell dad in the morning

Eliza: That’s my brave- my brave kid. Come on

Fergus is in the lounge trying his best to build a fake volcano. Eliza and Iggy both settle down to help. The three chat and with time Iggy relaxes enough to talk properly to Fergus.

Iggy: Fergus, I got to tell you something. I’m not your brother today

Fergus: You’re not? Why? Did I annoy you too much? I tried to keep quiet at the party

Iggy: No, no. It’s not that. It’s just… I’m not a boy today

Fergus: Oh. Are you a girl then?

Iggy: No, I’m not really either today, and kind of both. But I’m still your sibling. They/them pronouns just feel more like me today

Fergus: Okay. Are you still Iggy

Iggy: I’m not sure. Definitely not when I’m a girl. Maybe I should come up with another name

Eliza: Whatever you choose, we’ll call you. Right Fergus?

Fergus: You bet. Now can we please get back to the lava?

What do you know, both the conversation and the volcano do not blow up in Iggy's face!

Iggy decides to do a workout before bed as they like fitness, but don’t feel like trying somersaults on their cheer mat before bed. Then they head upstairs to their touched up room. We have changed wall colour, as well as the bed and desk to reflect their like of the farmhouse deco style. The bookcase has also been moved to an easier to see position.

Bob: I’m back, let’s go to bed

Eliza: Gladly. But hey, your eldest child wants a chat with you tomorrow before school

Bob: Sounds ominous, I’m in

Previous Part ... Next Part

[nerdygaymormon]

ED Therapy Session #2

I didn’t plan on making this entry, it didn’t seem like there was enough to share from the session. However with some time, I’ve changed my mind thanks to things which have happened since that session. 

—————————

First, I began by telling the therapist that after the last session, I immediately began binging in my car. But as I did so I recognized this is what I’m trying to stop. I continued to eat, but I was disgusted with myself and what I was doing. I ate some of everything, but wound up throwing away half of the food. She responded that this was a positive step, what a good start. Here I was confessing to an immediate failure and she reframed it as a success.

To help me understand binge eating disorder, she explained it’s similar to bulimia, except instead of binging and purging, I binge and don’t purge.

I was telling the psychologist about going to a baseball game with some new friends, and how I was pleased with how they were so nice to a fat guy. She stopped and asked if that’s how I see myself? I said that this is what I look like, it’s what people will see, of course they notice. Her response was “the first thing I noticed about you was your smile.” We then talked about not minimizing myself.

I don’t need to convince people I’m worthy to be included, they enjoy knowing me. People seek me out because I’m empathetic and understanding. I make an impact in my communities and the world around me, and minimizing myself will limit how impactful I can be.

My homework included several things: 1) I was to begin a Body Positivity class 2) Each day I’m to identify what is my biggest accomplishment 3) And I’m to be more open and share accomplishments AND hard things I deal with/have dealt with to the people in my life. 

—————————

I’ve been to a few body positivity classes. Honestly, they feel hokey to me. I can understand what is being taught but I don’t fully believe it in my heart. 

It’s a small group and they’re very supportive. At one point, the facilitator said to let’s go around and say something positive we did today. I commented, “My therapist would love you. This is the homework I’m supposed to be doing, but I keep forgetting to do.” 

Two of those in the class offered to support me by creating a group text and each day we would all three share our top accomplishment of the day. Honestly, that was a surprise and meant a lot to me. And they’ve kept their promise for this whole week.

Oh, I also had homework from the class, which is to write a short love letter to my body. I wound up writing not a love letter, but a short poem, and rather than love it’s more like acceptance. I am looking forward to sharing it with the class this week.

The scars, the stretch marks, my body has incurred, These are displays of all that my mind has served. No matter the shame nor how much I jeer, My body has faithfully carried me here. Mind and body, both have had to deal. Both are wounded, both will heal, One supporting the other, they are a pair. Both are deserving and worthy of self care.

—————————

Today I was at church, and someone with whom I shared that I have this challenge saw me and came over to ask how things are going with therapy. I gave a very brief update, including that I’ve started attending a body image class.

He said to remember that who I am is my spirit, and my spirit is mighty and powerful. My body and mind are part of me, but are fragile and weak in a way my spirit is not. I am beautiful. I am blessed. I am loved. Those things are not dependent on my body, they are inherent as a child of God.

I gave him a big hug as tear or two fell onto his shoulder.

[fumikomiyasaki]

 i hate everyone. but not you. with Pagkala and Yasuno  you're my favorite veggie. a cute-cumber! with Media and Churro or i wish you were here with me. with Tenera and Baliin

You got a message

He leaned against his chair finishing his homework hoping to soon be out and get to the things he wanted to do... suddenly he felt a buzz in his pocket of his phone.

Pagkala: I can't believe these sore loser I beat up today. They tried to get back at me with a petty Prank.😒

Yasuno: Want me to work something poisons in them?

Pagkala: Nah I can't stand them but that be too obvious.

Yasuno: What can you even stand is the question, Cactus... 😏

Pagkala: I hate everyone... but not you.

A response that was surprising to Yasuno... somewhat comforting yet he didn't want to admit that.

Yasuno: Wonder if you still say that when I pinned you to the floor tomorrow and leave my initials on your chest, maybe even choke you down.

Pagkala: Hot~ I would like to see you try... and if the wrestling turns into more even better

It was just the motivation he needed to finish his homework.

Yasuno: How about tonight instead? It be more fun that way~

Pagkala: Fine by me, reaper

And so Yasuno powered through his work looking forward to the meeting with his boyfriend.

Media was excited after class... after all he was getting into town to buy groceries for cooking with Churro later. However cause of that he was chatting with her a lot.

Churro: What else is missing?

Media: I got eggs, Vegan nuggets, carrots...

Churro: Could you get some Jam too?

Media: Sure.. oh-

He walked to a pair of cucumbera that was almost heart shaped and made a photo.

Media: You're my favourite Veggie. A cute-cumber!

Churro: Media... 😳

Media: I couldn't resist it you really are. Don't you worry once I get to you later you will get a smooch first and then we will start cooking

Churro: okay ❤

He smiled to himself picking up more ingredients with a pep in his step. He really was happy about Churros reaction and hoped he could impress her with what he makes.

Over Summer break Tenera had to visit her fathers while Baliin joined his brother back to their homeland for now... yet given not wanting to go back to that solitude feeling she had in the temble she kept in touch with him over text... one ritual her two fathers did... the Dance of darkness she recorded and send over to him.

Baliin: It's... stunning to look at.

Tenera: Before the incident... I did hope I could have done this ritual with them... now I can't but... its still nice to see.

Baliin: You are strong and even if you won't be able to... I will pick you up and be your legs.

Tenera: Bal... thank you.💜

I wish you were here with me...so I could at least give you a kiss.

Baliin: If it helps, I can send you pictures of our journey too.

Tenera: Please do. It would make me happy.

She clinged onto her phone with a warm smile... as her fathers looked to her.

"You really must value your partner... when do we get to meet him?"

"I promise eventually. But...he really is a great man. One I would consider a keeper."

She didn't know she accidentally recorded herself saying that.. without Aiden using a phone was still hard but at least that message was something Baliin was happy about.

[spnhunter4life]

So Long Version 2 Chapter 1

Summary: Jenna and Dean have known each other since she was 9 and he was 11. Their fathers often hunted together, so they grew up in next door motel rooms, keeping each other company and watching out for Sammy. They were inseparable until their dads inevitably fought and stopped working together. Shortly after Sam left for college, her father had been killed on a hunt and his dad had been more and more distant, so they started hunting together. In a world where everyone has a tattoo of their soulmate’s name that appears somewhere on them on their 16th birthday, it took them a ridiculous amount of time to figure things out.

Word Count: 4k

A/N: To those of you who have been following my fic So Long, this is the second version I promised. This is going to be the exact same story just written in chronological order instead of jumping around, so people can choose which way they prefer to read it.

Series Masterlist

It was the second day at this school in South Dakota. Dad and John had gotten a call from Bobby about a possible ghost problem a few towns over from Sioux Falls and so here we were. All the moving around never got any easier. Just when I started to really get to know the friend or two that I made, we had to pack up and move on again.

Ages 14 and 15

October 15, 1994

I was eating lunch with three other girls. Kristin and Liz were sitting on one side of the table and Carly was sitting next to me on the other side, the rest of the table empty. I was appreciative of the three girls who had noticed the new girl sitting by herself yesterday and come over to keep me company. This is how it usually went. As a fairly introverted person, any friends I made were the result of the other people approaching me, not the other way around.

“Can you believe the amount of homework Mr. Cohen assigned us today?” Carly was complaining. “I don’t know how I’m going to have time to get it all done!”

“No kidding,” Liz joined in. “Does he not realize that the other teachers are all giving out homework too, not just him?”

“He gave us a week to get it done,” Kristin reminded them. “You can do a little every day. It’s not like it all has to be done tonight.”

“Says the overachiever who’s never missed an assignment or gotten a grade lower than an A her whole life,” Liz teased.

“What do you think Jenna?” Carly asked me. “You said you’ve moved around a lot. Would any of the teachers at your other schools hand out this much homework at once?” 

“I mean, it’s definitely a lot to be given at once, but I guess I wouldn’t say it’s too much. Like Kristin said, we do have a week to do it. So, I guess I would consider it a reasonable amount,” I concluded.

Carly and Liz both had little frowns of disagreement on their faces, but they dropped the subject, moving on to the much more exciting – in their minds, anyway – topic of Snow Queen. This new conversation had only just started, Carly asking the other two what they were going to wear when I saw Liz’s eyes widen at something over my shoulders. Then she was leaning in, excitedly whispering. 

“The hot new guy you were talking about is here,” she said excitedly to Carly. “Wow, you weren’t exaggerating.”

Carly turned to look at him and I saw Kristin peering around to see who they were talking about too. I didn’t need to look. I knew who it was. I sighed and kept eating. Sure enough, Dean soon walked past my line of sight, heading towards the dwindling lunch line. The girls were chattering about him, but I wasn’t really listening. Until I heard my name.

“Come on Jenna, didn’t you see him? Isn’t he, like, the best looking guy you’ve ever seen in your life?” Carly encouraged me to join in. Of course I agreed with her, but I wasn’t about to announce it out loud.

With a small smile, I said, “Well of course you guys would think so. In a school this small, anyone new is exciting.”

Liz scoffed. “Oh please. It’s not because he’s new. You did see him didn’t you? The guy in the leather jacket?”

“I saw him.”

“And you don’t think he’s attractive? At all?” Carly asked in disbelief. 

I looked for him, saw that he was a little over halfway through the line, well out of hearing range, and sighed. I made a split second decision to tell them. Why not? It was rare that I got to talk about Dean this way. I had to keep all my feelings bottled up. It would be so nice to be able to let them out, and who better to talk to about it than a group of virtual strangers who would whole-heartedly understand and agree with me?

“Alright, fine. He’s the most attractive guy I’ve ever seen.” I agreed.

Carly was watching him as he made his way through the rest of the line. “Isn’t he though?” she sighed dreamily.

“It doesn’t really matter though,” I told the girls.

“What do you mean? This school is full of girls he’s never met before. Chances are he’ll be interested in at least one of them, so why not think that any of us could be her?” Liz asked, probably thinking she was making a great argument. And maybe it was a great argument. For them. They didn’t have all the information about me though.

“Doesn’t matter for me,” I told them.

“Because you move around a lot?” Kristin asked. “Long distance relationships are a thing you know. And besides, even if he never looks at us twice, there’s nothing wrong with appreciating the view.” She turned again to watch him as she said this.

“Moving isn’t the problem,” I mumbled just as Carly squealed, “I think he’s coming over here!” and Kristin quickly spun around in her seat to face forward again.

I looked up and saw Dean just steps away from our table, as Carly had said.

“Hey, Jenna!” He greeted as he moved around the table to sit beside me.

“Hi, Dean,” I answered, blood rushing to my cheeks as the mouths of the other three girls dropped open in shock.

“Is the food at this school any good?” He asked, eyeing the chicken strips, mashed potatoes, corn, and rice krispie bar they were serving today.

“Yeah, it’s pretty good,” I told him.

“Great,” he replied, digging in. “So how are you ladies doing?” He asked around a mouthful of food. I elbowed him in the side. “What?” he asked innocently. He knew I hated his awful table manners, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him to stop.

“So, uh… you guys know each other?” Kristin asked.

“Umm… surprise?” I said unsurely.

“Is it though?” Dean asked. “I mean in a school this size doesn’t everybody know when there’s a new kid or two?”

“Of course,” Carly answered.

“And nobody noticed that Jenna and I showed up at exactly the same time yesterday?” He continued.

“Well when you put it like that I guess we really should have,” Carly answered. “But no, for some reason we did not realize. I actually didn’t even see you until today.”

“Actually, now that she mentions it, I didn’t see you either. And you definitely weren’t at lunch yesterday. Where were you?” I asked him. I had initially written it off as him having a different lunch period. We often did. But this school only had one lunch period for the entire high school. He should have been there.

“I was running errands for Dad,” he responded easily. I knew that meant he was helping with the hunt in some way. I don’t know why I was just finding out.

“Your dad had you running errands instead of being in school?” I asked him, frustrated. “And you didn’t tell me.” 

“Who says I wasn’t in school?” He asked, mock offended, even though he obviously hadn’t been. “Besides, not all of our dads are as insistent on a good education as yours,” he told me. “And when you didn’t see me at lunch it should have been a clue that I was busy,” he joked.

“We rarely ever have lunch at the same time. It wasn’t unusual not to see you,” I countered.

“So,” Liz interjected, looking at me meaningfully, “aren’t you going to introduce us?”

“Oh. Right. Guys this is Dean. Dean this is Kristin, Liz, and Carly,” I said, gesturing to each girl as I named them.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said with his patented charming grin, the one guaranteed to make girls from all around the world stop breathing while they were caught in the intensity of it.

“How do you two know each other?” Kristin asked, looking back and forth between the two of us. The other two were looking and listening intently too and I noted the curious stares of several other people in the cafeteria. I mentally rolled my eyes, resigned to this new topic that would undoubtedly continue for a while. 

This is what always inevitably happened. We moved to a new school. As the new girl, people would find me mildly interesting at best. I was mostly ignored except for a select few people who made an effort to be welcoming. And then people found out that I was somehow involved with “the hot new guy” as he was usually known. Dean would wave at me or talk to me in the hall, someone would see us getting into the same car after school, or in today’s case, he sat with me at lunch. Then I became interesting. People wanted to get to know me in order to get to know him.

“Our dads work together,” Dean answered for me, stealing the rice krispie bar from my tray.

“Hey!” I protested.

“What? You hate these things,” Dean said. He wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, but you could have asked instead of just taking it,” I mumbled petulantly.

“Why do I have to ask to eat something I know you’re not going to eat anyway?”

“Well it would be the polite thing to do,” I told him sternly. He just scoffed and took a bite. 

“So you guys move around a lot,” Kristin started, continuing her line of questioning, “and it’s just you two and your dads?”

“And my brother Sam,” Dean replied through another mouthful of food.

“Ok, I know we were more out of the loop than we should have been with you, but I swear there isn’t a third new kid here. There’s no way we would have missed that,” Carly insisted.

“Nah, you wouldn’t have heard about him,” Dean told her. “Sammy’s in middle school.”

“Well thank goodness I haven’t lost it completely,” Carly joked. 

“How long have your dads been working together?” Kristin asked.

“What’s it been? Five years now?” Dean mused, looking to me for confirmation.

“Yeah, probably pretty close to that, I’d say,” I said.

I saw Kristin open her mouth to ask another question when the five minute bell rang. We all hurried to dump our trays and get to class.

~~~~~

It was about ten minutes into art class an hour later, and I was trying to find the right mix of colors to blend together for the shade of blue I wanted. We were working on landscapes this week, using oil pastels. 

I’ve found that art classes can be quite tedious or a lot of fun, depending on the teacher. I liked this one. She was pretty relaxed, giving everyone the assignment and then letting them do whatever they wanted within the parameters of the project. She was also completely fine with students talking throughout the whole class as long as they were still getting work done.

“So,” Liz started. We sat beside each other and I had been waiting for this. The questions about Dean would start now. Things he liked to do or watch or eat, what kind of girls he was usually interested in, that sort of thing. 

“You and Dean seem pretty close.” She worded it as a fact, but her tone trailed off in a questioning way.

“Yeah, I suppose you could say that,” I responded warily. I’d found the correct combination of colors I wanted and started working on the sky.

“And you guys are just friends? Nothing more?” She asked, unconvinced.

“We’re just friends,” I told her, already ready for this conversation to be over with.

“But why?” She wondered out loud as she grabbed a red oil pastel from the box between us. I felt my forehead wrinkle in confusion.

“Why what?

“Why aren’t you guys together?” She explained. “I mean, you’ve known each other for years, you apparently travel around the country together, you practically live together-”

“We don’t live together,” I quickly interjected. There had been a quick conversation in the hall about our living situation when Carly asked if Dean and I lived together. Luckily the five minutes between classes left just enough time to explain the situation without having to be questioned about it too thoroughly. “We’re always in separate motel rooms. It’s more like living in the same apartment building I suppose.”

“I said practically,” Liz quipped. “And that’s not the point.”

“Then what is?” I sighed, using a paper towel to blend my sky colors together.

“The point is…” she started, pausing to find the right words. “Well, everything I already said!” She finally settled on. “You said you guys move around a lot. I imagine always being the new kids makes you even closer with the one person you actually know,” she said.

“I have Sam too,” I reminded her.

“You mean Dean’s little brother? The one in middle school?” She snorted. “Yeah, that’s exactly the same thing.”

“It is the same thing,” I insisted. “Our dads aren’t around much so we’re all pretty close.”

Liz looked at me like I was unbelievably stupid.

“I feel like we’re having two separate conversations here. Do you really not get where I’m going with this?” She asked.

“You’re trying to be absolutely sure that we’re not dating and Dean’s single, right? Well I’m telling you that we’re not dating. Can we drop it now?” I asked, irritated.

“No, we can’t drop it,” she countered. “That’s not where I’m going with this at all.” She let out a frustrated breath before continuing. “You said at lunch that he was the most attractive guy you’d ever seen.” She said pointedly.

“No I didn’t,” I denied, grabbing a white oil pastel to add in some clouds. “Carly said that.”

“And you agreed,” Liz said. “Look, I’m not trying to embarrass you,” she continued when she saw my blush. “I’m just trying to understand. I only saw you guys together for a few minutes today and it seemed pretty clear to me that you’re really close. So why aren’t you together?”

“He’s not…” I started to say, cutting myself off. Liz waited patiently for me to sort my thoughts. “He doesn’t see me that way,” I told her. 

“Are you sure?” She asked.

I frowned, thinking about all the girls he was always flirting with. 

“I’m sure.”

“Well… I think you might be wrong,” she said decisively. And then, before I could object, “Tell me about him.”

“What do you want to know?” I asked.

“Anything you want to tell me,” she said. “Isn’t it nice to get to talk about him like a normal teenage girl talking to her friend about the guy she likes? Not as the friend that can give other interested girls tips?”

“Sorry,” I apologized. “I shouldn’t have just assumed.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I’m sure you had a reason. So? What’s he like?”

I thought about it. What was Dean like? I spent the rest of the hour-long class telling her about the wonderful guy I spent most of my time with. I started out a little hesitantly, but by the end I was excitedly answering any question she threw my way. She was right. It was almost freeing to have this discussion with her, to put my feelings out into the world instead of keeping them trapped inside. When the bell rang, signaling the end of class, I was feeling lighter than I had in a long time.

Dean’s POV

Ages 14 and 16

January 24, 1995

I stared at the ceiling, willing myself to find the energy to get out of bed. I heard Sam moving around, getting ready for school, but I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. I knew that by the end of the day I would have letters inked into my skin. Letters that spelled out my soulmate’s name. I had no illusions about my family’s lifestyle and what it would mean for my soulmate. It would be a bittersweet moment, finally learning her name, but knowing I could never allow myself to be with her, to put her in that kind of danger.

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I rubbed my eyes before standing up and starting to get ready for the day. I had decided I wasn’t going to look for the tattoo. I would put it off for as long as I could and see it whenever I happened to stumble upon the patch of skin it showed up on.

~~~~~

It had been a pretty good morning. My anxiety had faded to the background when a smiling Jenna came into our room with bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast. It wasn’t elaborate by any means, but it was more than we usually had and the fact that she took the time to make it for us, for me, made it that much more special.

The two of them had given me the gift they picked out right away this morning when an excited Sam decided he couldn’t wait until after school. He halfway disappeared under the bed for a few seconds, wiggling his way back out with a box clutched in his hands. He proudly handed it to me and then watched in eager anticipation as I opened two new movies, Jumanji and Batman Forever.

“Now we have something to watch for movie night too!” He exclaimed. I thanked them both and then we headed to school, Jenna’s dad dropping us off.

Now I was sitting in the locker room, changing back into my regular clothes after gym class. I had opted out of a shower, not wanting to find my tattoo in this miserable place, surrounded by strangers I would have to guard my reaction around. I had my foot up on the bench I was sitting on, switching out my sweaty socks for a dry pair, lost in my thoughts when I heard someone to my left snicker and say, “Isn’t Jenna your sister?”

My head whipped around to look at Matt, the guy who had spoken. He was a sophomore like me, and while he wasn’t wildly popular, he sure thought he was something special. “What?” I snapped. My protective instincts flared up. We had only been at this school for a week, but I was well aware of how attractive Jenna was, and if this kid thought he was going to try something, he had another thing coming. “Why?” I asked, failing to keep the suspicion out of my voice.

“Didn’t the two of you show up around the same time? And I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the two of you coming to school in the same car,” he mused. “So you must be her brother. That’s gotta be pretty awkward. Unless you know another Jenna?” 

“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” I snapped.

“Dude, don’t they have different last names?” Chimed in a freshman whose name I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful for or irritated by his input. “So unless they have different dads or something… I don’t think they’re related.” Irritated, I decided. He hadn’t said anything offensive, and his analysis wasn’t wrong, but I found I didn’t like the way he was obviously looking for Matt’s approval.

“Really? How do you know that?” Matt asked. Without waiting for a reply, he continued. “Well that’s a relief I suppose. It would be pretty weird if your sister was your soulmate,” he laughed. “Too bad though,” he continued, having gained the attention of most of the locker room. “She’s not half bad looking. I might ask her out anyway, see what she really thinks about her pathetic, loser soulmate.”

I clenched my jaw. Having lived in tight quarters for years, Jenna and Sam had learned to back off at this, that it meant I was seriously pissed off. Matt had the misfortune of not knowing me so well. “Leave her alone,” I warned. I had managed to keep my temper so far, but if he actually made a move on her, all bets were off. 

“Don’t worry,” Matt drawled on. “I’ll test her out for you. Let you know if she’s actually worth your ti-”

Before he even realized I was moving, I had crossed the couple of steps to him, grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and shoved him back into the lockers. “I don’t know what you’re even talking about,” I seethed, “but you better stay away from her or I’ll make sure that my pathetic loser face is the last thing you see before I put you in the hospital.”

I turned away from him and, after taking a step, ducked, effectively dodging the punch I had seen him getting ready to throw. I spun back around and landed a solid punch to his face before grabbing my shoes and storming out of the locker room. It wasn’t until I was sitting in the bleachers lacing up my boots that I saw it. Inked into the skin of my left ankle was her name.

JENNA

Walking down the hall with the only friend I’d made at this school in the three weeks we’d been here, I laughed at the story she was telling about her brother and his mishap with a pair of scissors and a desire for a new haircut. I was about to counter with a story about Sam and Dean’s latest prank war and a bottle of shampoo when I stopped in my tracks.

Ages 14 and 16

February 5, 1995

“What’s wrong?” Abby asked, confused. She looked to where I was staring and understanding crossed her face. “You kind of like him, right?”

That was a bit of an understatement. I ‘kind of like him’ the way an alcoholic ‘kind of likes’ their drink of choice, the way a fish ‘kind of likes’ the water. 

I knew how ridiculous it was to pine for a guy who saw me as a friend at best, more likely sister, but I couldn’t seem to convince my stupid heart to get over it. I managed to close my slightly open mouth and look away from where Dean was making out with the head cheerleader.

“He turned sixteen a couple of weeks ago. You don’t think she’s…” I stopped, not able to complete that thought.

“His soulmate?” Abby finished. “I don’t know. Maybe. He didn’t tell you what her name is? You guys live together don’t you?”

“No.” I said vaguely, lost in thought.

“No… what?” she asked.

“Sorry,” I sighed, giving her my full attention. “No, he didn’t tell me what name showed up. He’s kind of private. Doesn’t like talking about anything involving feelings. And yeah, I guess we kind of live together. Our dads work together, so we end up moving to the same places a lot.”

“Well there’s really no reason to think she’s the one. Just because he has his soulmate’s name now doesn’t mean he won’t be interested in anyone else until he meets her,” she reasoned. I must not have looked convinced because she continued. “Is this typical for him? I mean, does he usually flirt and go on dates and occasionally show a little too much PDA?” She asked, wrinkling her nose as she looked in their direction again.

“All the girls are always interested in him. And he definitely notices. And likes it. So yeah, this is pretty typical I guess,” I told her.

“Ok, well then I definitely wouldn’t worry about it. If he didn’t usually do this type of thing, then I’d say there was likely a reason for the sudden change in behavior. But if it’s normal, then don’t read anything into it.”

I knew she was right, and even if she wasn’t, I had no reason to be jealous. In a year and a half, I’d get my own soulmate’s name. If I hadn’t moved on by then, hopefully that would be enough to convince my traitorous heart it wasn’t meant to be.

Chapter 2

[sunbeam-regalia]

I remember being told that my score for the yearly maths challenge was more than 10% higher than everybody in the rest of my year at my school. More people at that school went to Oxford or Cambridge than almost all the other schools in the country, so, of course, I would follow in my father and mother's footsteps and go to Oxford. Surely, *surely* that would be my thing. It always had been! I was good at maths, great at maths, told day in, day out at school that maths was what I was made for, made to do.

But I started writing music most breaktimes on the school computers since I realised it was a thing I could do. I got MixCraft on my first laptop, and it became all I did after school. I loved it, to the supposed detriment of every other thing at the time. I would wake up in the middle of the night to do homework in time for the next day, I started spending every lunch break in the piano room. It was an escape.

Crashing out of studying maths at university was so bleak. I had already arranged for student halls, and that year I was given no courses to do except to pass that maths re-take. I should have gone back to my parents, found a way out of it, but instead I sat in that room and tried to sort through the sludge of studying, eating, relationships, friendship, family, CPTSD, insomnia, depression, gender, maths, endless garbage, nothingness, pain, don't eat, sleep, don't eat, sleep, don't eat, try to sleep, you need food. it's happening again. go outside and get everything you can find at the shop. put it on the table. eat. eat. eat. don't stop. send a picture to your friend. "look! i ate today." repeat. worry if the fact that you chat with older men online makes you a predator. worry if they think you're even a person. worry if the things they want you to do make you a predator. worry if you would ever break the cycle. your friend tells you he slept with her. he told you he knew you were trans the whole time. you can't bare to face him, to face anybody, all of those people that always said they were there if you needed them, and they barely registered your absence. You got sick, they took you to the hospital in the night, you thought you were going to die, you knew it.

And then, like that, it's over. you're with your parents and disappointing them in the way you always seem to do, but there's a post from this girl on facebook. She is so beautiful and there's a drawing of a caterpie on her page and she has posted about fire emblem. She is looking for somebody to live with.

And she is everything. And she is every joy in the world, obliterating the sepia, lighting the world into colour, life and love and wonder and excitement. Every new experience something to share, every meal something to enjoy together, every day more to see and heal and hurt and heal again and imagine and cry and laugh. And her smile, her eyes, her laugh, her touch, her cheeks oh god her cheeks, her hair, her kindness, her love, her care. So stunningly kind and she'll be convinced that no, it's normal to act like this, it's normal to care about friends this much, and in doing so you believe it too. The world is a kind place because she is there with you.

[kiribaku-fics-whatever]

Jealously

Aggressive Affection by QuirklessWonder (SouthernSmartAss)

Eijirou didn’t really know if what he was doing right now could be considered heroic or manly, but there he was, hiding in his room, the only sounds breaking the still silence being his pitiful sniffling. He hadn’t cried, but he had wanted to, and the unshed tears still ached in his chest. He was just being so stupid about this; his problem today didn’t deserve his tears.

So what if some girl liked Bakugou?

It wasn’t like Bakugou would like her back . . . right?

u got smthn i want by fruti2flutie

If Kirishima has some background character girlfriend from Class 1-B, some tiny chick with horns and a tail, then that shit is none of Bakugou’s business, best friend or not.

Cut My Heart Open (My Love, It Bleeds) by deviance

It hit Bakugou sometime between late night tutoring sessions, making food for two people instead of one, and after catching himself staring one too many times.

He liked Kirishima. Like, really liked. As more than a friend.

The revelation came without any fanfare, a simple widening of his eyes and a soft 'oh' that earned him a curious look from Kirishima who was currently working on their math homework for the day.

"Bakugou?"

Bakugou waved him off, the concern not bristling him like it did whenever other people checked on him. Kirishima had always been the exception. His touch was welcome, his concern was soothing, his smile was beautiful. Bakugou felt a bit of a blush cross his face, glad that Kirishima had listened and turned back to his homework.

Fuck, he had it bad. How had he missed this?

Worth a Thousand Words by awareoftheconcept

When a rare picture of Bakugou smiling leads Class 3A to believe he is in a relationship with Utsushimi Camie, a contest arises to see who can get the most pictures of the couple together.

***

“Umm,” Midoriya said nervously. “I-it’s Kacchan. There is always a spark.”

With another round of boos from Kaminari and Jirou, Ashido took a page out of Mineta’s playbook and started shaking Midoriya violently. “I mean like a romantic spark!”

Midoriya blanched. “You think Kacchan is interested in Utsushimi?”

He seemed doubtful, so Ashido shoved Kirishima’s phone in his face. “Do you see this smile? That is the smile of boy who is head-over-heels smitten, am I right?”

Midoriya actually took the time to look at the picture critically, though he shot an uneasy look towards Kirishima before he answered. “Umm, y-yeah,” he said as he started to back away, hiding behind Uraraka like a shield. “It definitely looks like Kacchan is in love.”

How could Kirishima have been so stupid?

Up the mountain and down again: A Kiribaku Jealousy Fic by efemerald

Bakugou didn’t think it was possible for anyone to feel more in love than he did in that moment.

“Well?” Kirishima asked. His voice was unusually quiet, and when Bakugou looked up, he saw that his eyes were large with fear and apprehension.

Suddenly, the love he’d felt half a second ago was only a fraction to the love he felt now.

The Perfect Present by Jacksonofabitch

When Kirishima suggested they meet up, Bakugou didn't think it would end up like this.

The Jealous Type by Quinnion

“Fuck no, I don't wanna hang out with you guys,” Bakugou crosses his arms and, just as Kirishima is about to leave, adds, “Why would you even want me there?”

Kirishima stops in his tracks, “Why wouldn’t I?” he laughs, quickly realizing he’s being serious, “O-oh, well you’re my best friend and I want to spend time with you. And I feel like we haven’t really lately so-”

“YEAH, NO SHIT!” Bakugou cuts him off, bolting up off the bed, “YOU’VE BEEN TOO FUCKING DISTRACTED BY YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND!”

Baffled, Kirishima sputters and stares at him with wide eyes, “What?” he exclaims, shocked, “Boyfriend? I don’t have a boyfriend?” he takes a step forward, closing the door behind him.

Or where Kirishima reconnects with a friend from middle school and Bakugou immediately gets jealous. He struggles with his feelings and Kirishima comes to the rescue.

Chemical Physical Kryptonite by alpha_hydra

"Okay. I'm just gonna say it. What did Midoriya mean when he was saying all of that stuff about my amp output?" Denki finally blurts out halfway through lunch.

Everyone stops what they're talking about and stares at him, Mina and Hanta with twin looks of confusion.

"Are you telling me," Bakugou growls in the tone of voice that means death is imminent. "You don't fucking know your amp output?"

The silence around their little table is deafening. Everyone turns to him and wonders collectively what the fuck has set him off this time; Eijirou's blood is running cold.

(AKA the one where Bakugou tutors Kaminari and Kirishima is not jealous, not even a little bit.)

marketable by eggstasy

Jealous Inner Kirishima has a better vocabulary than Actual Life Kirishima, who just has to open his mouth to make stupid words fall out in the wrong order. Bakugou throws a laundered sweat towel at his face and says, “Quit leaving your shit downstairs,” and Kirishima answers him with, “Thanks for my towel washing it,” which leads to him sinking down in his chair and trying not to die.

People notice.

i couldnt love you more if i tried by borlios

“Right.” Ashido agrees. “It’s different, for sure it’s different. But it’s not bad! It makes you look...softer. Which is funny, ‘cause of your quirk.”

“What happens if that dye washes out too?” Bakugou asks, still squinting in Eijirou’s direction. “Would you be blonde then?”

“Brownish-blonde, probably.” Eijirou knocks his head against Kaminari’s. “Can we go? I really don’t wanna talk about my hair anymore, haha.”

“That’s a first.” Kaminari teases, poking him in the side.

"

or, kirishima and kaminari are very affectionate bros, and bakugou doesnt know what to do with that information

cat-tsuki by cutiekirishima

Bakugou had a secret. A big one. And it was gradually getting harder to hide, and Bakugou knew that one day it would be let out. He'd tried every way he could, but there wasn't anything he could do. His big secret?

Bakugou Katsuki is currently hiding his pet cat in his dorm.

The adventures of Kiribaku and Tsuki, the best wing-cat there is to exist.

Waves Struck a Sea of Bitterness by cherryredriots

When Katsuki and Kirishima run into Kirishima's extremely affectionate childhood friend, Tomo, Katsuki is overcome with jealousy and can only idly stand by as two apparent old flames reignite.

[achaiapelides]

Kit's Diary

Chapter 10

Dear Ty,

I didn't write anything last week because nothing exciting happened apart from Maria and Henry joining Sam, Leo and me at lunch.

You won't believe it, but I actually got the courage to ask Jem and Tessa to make an appointment with a therapist. They also agreed that a mundane therapist would probably be traumatised by my history, so they called one of the werewolves Hazel suggested and scheduled an appointment for me. Afterwards they also made an appointment with a doctor because of my bad breathing. But the appointment for that is next week, so I can't tell you much about it yet.

Yesterday I had the appointment with my therapist, who is an older lady, originally from Ecuador, and obviously a werewolf. Her name is Leah O'Sullivan and she makes you feel like you're talking to your grandma. After complaining about the "ignorant" Shadowhunters, who "always keep traumatising children, but refuse to give them therapists and just label them as crazy and put them in a hospital for the rest of their days" (I agree), she asked me to tell her about myself, or rather what I want her to know. I told her everything I told Hazel and the others, but after she ensured me that she won't tell anyone if I or someone I want to protect (you) did something illegal because then she would loose her job, I also told her about the thing with Livvy. I also thought about telling her that I am the First Heir, but I will probably ask Tessa and Jem first, if it's smart to do this. Then the appointment was already over and she gave me some "homework". She wants me to tell her about my life before I knew I was a Shadowhunter and about what I remember from my childhood at the appointment next week, so I'm supposed to write down everything that I can remember and want her to know, so I don't forget something that might be important. I also told her about the diary and she thought that it is a good idea to write down what I'm thinking about.

So, we planned a new appointment for next week and I went home. After dinner I wanted to write this entry, but fell asleep in the middle of it, so here I am, writing it today instead. Whoops. But now I have to stop because I need to to some reading for homework. With "some" I mean a text of 30 pages. Ugh.

Nevertheless, I hope you had a great day... or rather a great week and more motivation to do your homework than I do. I really should get started.

Lots of love,

Kit

Author's note:

Yes I'm still alive. I just had no time to continue this story as I had some exams. They were pretty easy (apart of Latin 🤮) and now I have a bit more free time. I still have to write a 15 page long work about Spartan Women for my seminar though and I'm as motivated as Kit is, I just need to read way more...

But that's not what I wanted to tell you, actually I just wanted to let you know that I never went to a therapist and also don't study anything psychology related, so I don't know what a therapy session is supposed to look like. I'm just guessing what might happen. If you notice that I describe something, that wouldn't happen in an actual therapy session, please feel welcome to correct me. Thank you 😁