#this song is their best in a while i think it deserves more promotion on my blog

[darlingletters]

gorgeous girl ln4

lando norris x fem!reader ( fc: sabrina carpenter )

in which y/n y/l/n breaks up with her cheating boyfriend and fans are rooting for her and lando norris to get together.

warning: swearing, fluff, the timelines of song releases and races are not in order, cheating with multiple people, breakups, relationships, some spelling errors or grammatical errors. lemme know if there’s anything I missed xx

an: I’ve never done a face claim but I wanted to try and see how it works out. I might not do one again but I am not sure yet. ALSO I am very unsure about the name of this cause I feel like it sounds cringe, so I might end up changing it.

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yourusername

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, y/nfan14 and 334,567,13 others

yourusername over it 🎀 album coming soon loves <3

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user gorgg

user ALBUM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

yourusername liked this comment

user so prettyyyyy

user MUSIC?

⤷ user omg I am so readyyyyy for an albummm

landonorris beautiful as always

⤷ yourusername 🤍 thank you loveee

⤷ user ARE YALL DATING?

⤷ yourusername only friends xx

user please date lando

user that’s it love!!! he ain’t with your time

user I’ve been listening to espresso and please please please on repeat

yourusername liked this comment

⤷ user SAME

user I LOVE YOU

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music.f1gossip

liked by y/nbiggestfan, espressolover and 55,622 others

music.f1gossip are lando norris and y/n y/l/n dating?

it’s known that y/l/n’s recent breakup was one that didn’t end happily because of her ex boyfriend’s infidelity. y/l/n made a story a few weeks after the breakup stating “he had three different side pieces during the whole relationship” which left fans absolutely shocked.

her ex has been getting a lot of hate from y/l/n’s fanbase to a point where he blocked his comments. he has been flaunting around his new girlfriend since the breakup all while texting y/l/n to take him back which we saw because y/l/n posted their messages on her story as seen above.

however, her next story was one with lando norris which was captioned “my saviour fr” which many speculated it was a mention to norris supporting y/l/n during the breakup and defending her from hate comments that she received. she then made a story showing she was at the miami grand prix.

norris and y/l/n have been best friends for quite a while now and many always thought that they’d end up together, however, neither of them have announced anything about their relationship.

in recent times, norris has been so called ‘flirting’ with y/l/n in her instagram comments which has left both their fans going crazy.

now, do you guys think y/l/n and norris are dating? or they just good friends?

let me know in the comments xx

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user that change up is scary

user damn

user lando’s better anyway

user ��� I love you right after he called her a bitch is crazyyy

⤷ user frrr like what is this guy on?

user THATS ONLY FOR LANDO

⤷ user HE CALLS HER GORGEOUS GIRL

⤷ user they’re so datinggg

user I love themmm

⤷ user SAMEEE

user SAVIOUR!!! it’s actually so cute how he defends her all then time and even promotes her music

⤷ user THEY’RE cuteeee

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yourusername

liked by landonorris, carlossainzz55 and 456,822,821 others

yourusername P1 BABY!!! I am so proud of you lan more then you will ever know. congratulations love, you truly deserve this 🤍

tagged landonorris

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landonorris thank you gorgeous, couldn’t have done it without your support ❤️

⤷ yourusername ❤️❤️

⤷ user they’re so in loveee

user so cuteeee

user dating!!!!

user please be dating

carlossainz55 you never did this when I had my first win 😔

⤷ yourusername I AM SORRY

landonorris you look so gooddd

⤷ yourusername I am not in the photos

⤷ landonorris yeah but you’re in front of me

⤷ user OMD

user the way he’s shamelessly flirting now, he ain’t even try and hide it.

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“LAN! YOU CAN’T BE SAYING THAT!” she tells him sternly, looking up at him.

he had a boyish grin on his face as he looked at her, “what? can’t tell people that my girl- oh sorry best friend looks good right now?”

“you just exposed our relationship. we agreed to wait three months before saying something.” she spoke softly, standing up as she placed her phone down on the coach.

“I can’t wait that long. I want everyone to know that after eight years you are finally my girlfriend.” he says with a smile as he shrugs his shoulders.

“you’re an idiot.” she replied as she tried to hold a serious face which soon fell into a blushing smile the more she looked at him.

“yeah but i’m your idiot.” he says smugly as he pulls her onto his lap to straddle him.

she places her arms around his neck and rests her forehead against his as she strokes the back of his head whilst he keeps his hands on her hips, using his thumb to lightly stroke her hip.

they stay in silence for a few more moments, letting themselves enjoy a rare peaceful moment before she breaks the silence, “I am really proud of you lan, you really deserved that win today.” she says softly, looking into his eyes.

“thank you baby.” he smiles.

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landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 453,722,763 others

landonorris P1!! got a win and a girl (ive been her’s for two months now. be jealous)

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user BEEN HER’S!!!

yourusername really?

⤷ landonorris you’re very beautiful

⤷ yourusername 😐

⤷ landonorris gorgeous girl

user just saying what we already knew

user yesssss love tjemmm

user FINALLY

user so cuteeee

danielricciardo proud of you 👍🏼

⤷ yourusername I am a huge fan

⤷ danielricciardo I AM A HUGE FAN

user thought they’d never get together

user TWO MONTHS

user I love you y/n

⤷ landonorris I love her more

⤷ user I’ve been with her though girl meets world. don’t try me norizz.

yourusername liked this comment

⤷ yourusername I love you 🤍🤍

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[pandorasprongs]

JAMIE TARTT | i'd be better armed if you agreed to take it.

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 5.0k

SUMMARY: higgins' new assistant happens to be an old friend of the reader's, and their reunion hits jamie with major feelings of jealousy. when the team thinks that the pair of them are going on a date soon, jamie decides enough is enough.

WARNINGS: language

A/N: i actually like this story a lot better especially the dialogue! + jealous!jamie was really fun to write HAHAHA i hope that all of you enjoy this and title is from the song '(you) on my arm' by leith ross :) also i apologize in advance i'm not the best at writing kissing scenes

You loved your job, truly. This was the first time you've had a decent, no, fucking amazing boss that didn't make you want to pull your hair out every time they called you into the office. 

But being Rebecca's assistant also meant that you sometimes had to help Higgins out with... well, whatever the Director of Football Operations does. It was fine in the beginning, just scheduling appointments and keeping track of ticket sales, but once Richmond got promoted, it felt like your work doubled.

It only took two weeks before you begged Rebecca to get Higgins an assistant of his own. Luckily, she obliged and asked Higgins to start interviewing possible candidates for the job. 

You hoped that whatever extra load you got due to Higgins occupying himself with selecting an assistant would be worth it from how much would be lifted off you when he did. So when you got the message from Rebecca to help delegate your duties to the new assistant, you practically ran to the clubhouse that morning.

You were too excited messaging your boss that you'd be there soon that you ended up bumping into someone near the entrance.

"Shit!" You exclaim as you almost lose your balance, but are steadied by the other person who turned out to be Jamie.

"Ay, watch where you're going, yeah?" Jamie warned casually, as he let go of your arms once you recovered.

"Sorry, Jamie." You straighten up and walk in with him. "I'm just really excited. Higgins finally picked an assistant and they're here today."

"Oh yeah, you were fucking drowning in work a few weeks ago." And by drowning, he meant it literally. The football player recalled seeing you walking past the locker room carrying a stack of papers taller than you were. You refused any help from the team, partly because they had to get to training and mainly because you didn't want them to see how the tear stains on some of the pages.

"Yeah," you chuckle at the memory. "But, after a few days of helping the new kid out, I'll finally be free." You stretch your arms up in the air and cheer. You were too busy celebrating to notice how soft Jamie's expression had become. 

He loved seeing you act yourself around him, a big jump from when you used to glare at him around the office. He had denied it for a while, but Jamie started to like you around the time he'd gotten back from Man City. 

You knew him before then, when he was a massive prick who stepped over — even literally at times, — his teammates. But after he returned, you felt bad for the guy for how the rest of the team was treating him, no matter if he deserved it. Ted had told you about what they talked about when Jamie approached him about joining the team again, and a part of you felt like he needed at least some kind of welcoming presence in the building. 

You started greeting him more often when you ran into each other in the halls and sometimes offered him the candies you keep in your desk drawer whenever he passed your desk, just small things. Jamie would usually just end up hanging out with you during his breaks because he didn’t have anyone else to spend it with. The first few times, he would just sit there in silence while you worked, but one “How’s your day going?” from you, and he was more than willing to chat.

Then, of course, he gradually regained the team’s trust and started hanging out with them, but even then, your little interactions with him didn't stop. He'd invite you whenever the team had a get-together and would sometimes drop bags of candies at your desk to "re-stock" your drawer. You just thought it was his way of returning your kindness. But what you didn't realize was that the star football player was starting to fall for you. 

Jamie tried to ignore it, saying to himself that he just felt indebted to you, but then it started to manifest in different ways. How he would try and come up with reasons to approach you the next day, how he'd get distracted whenever you had to visit the pitch during practice, and how your awkward habits became something he looked forward to. It's been a while since he felt like this about anyone and was more anxious about rejection than he's felt about any of his games, so he didn't make any obvious pass at you.

So now, as you asked the receptionist where the Director of Football Operations was, Jamie decided to wait for you to spend as much time with you as possible. 

You notice Jamie staying back and relayed the information to him. "Higgins is introducing them to the team, so I guess I'll be going with you to the locker room." You nudge him with your shoulder as you continue to walk through the building. You've always tried your best to ask casual with Jamie, possibly in an effort to make yourself feel normal around him and not constantly blushing every time he looked at you.

As you approach the room, you hear Higgins explaining what the new assistant would be doing for the players. "So if ever you need help with anything I've listed, you can go to Anthony Perez here, instead."

Anthony Perez. No fucking way. You and Jamie enter the locker room and are instantly greeted by the sight of an old friend.

"Anthony, you fucking bastard!" You scream enthusiastically, causing everyone in the room to turn to you, including Anthony. It takes him a second before registering who you were. The moment he does, he raises his arms and you practically leap into him for a hug.

"Oh my god!" Anthony exclaims, as he lets go of you and puts you down.

"I didn't know you were the new assistant!" You lightly smack his arm.

"I didn't know you even worked here!" He defends himself as the two of you turn to find the entire team's eyes on you, including Jamie's.

"Shit, sorry," You laugh as you make some distance between you and Anthony. "Didn't mean to make our reunion so dramatic."

"I assume you two know each other?" Higgins asks and you both nod.

"Anthony and I went to school together," You quickly explain. "From sixth form to uni. Of course, I haven't heard from him in two years." You jokingly glare, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Sorry, I got busy, okay?" He whispers an apology before you both chuckle again.

"Well, I hope your friendship will make it easier to help him get accustomed to the job." You smile at Higgins before the three of you excuse yourself to let the players get ready for training. 

You're so engrossed in catching up with Anthony that you didn't even notice the look Jamie was giving him. 

"They seem close!" Dani innocently says as he puts his shoes on.

"You don't think something is going on with them, do you?" Colin chimes in.

"Well, she's never even mentioned him before, so I doubt it," Sam argues, but Isaac shakes his head. "Nah bruv, that hug was way too intimate for just friends."

"I've seen her hug Keeley and Rebecca like that, too. That might just be how she greets her friends." Jan offers and the team continues to debate it, but at that point, Jamie has had enough. It was already shit having to watch that interaction, but having your teammates talk about it as you pretend not to care? It could not get any worse.

Jamie pulls out a can of body spray from his locker and slams it closed, before turning to everyone. "Can everyone just stop talking about it and get ready?" 

The room goes quiet, as the football player turns around and starts getting changed. The rest of the team exchange looks, before getting ready themselves. Most of them had a hunch that something was going on between the two of you but didn't have any proof, until now. They just hoped they were wrong about you and Anthony, in an attempt to stop Mt. Jamie from erupting.

——

For most players, if something happened right before training that put them in a sour mood, it would mess up their performance on the pitch. Of course, Jamie wasn't like most players. He might be playing even better during that training period. The coaches didn't even have to give him the signal; he was already in 'prick' mode. 

Maybe it was the appearance of Anthony or the fact that you had never been that excited to see him even though he thought you guys were becoming close, but he was playing aggressively and was much more focused than he needed to be for a practice game. The coaches started to take notice after he viciously tackled one of the second teams. 

"Whistle!" Roy shouts, pausing their game. Ted takes a step forward and shouts, "Hey Jamie! Love the passion, but those are still your teammates. Ya'll have a game next week, so better save that attitude for the real one."

"Okay, coach!" Jamie replies through gritted teeth. He takes a deep breath as they continue to play, trying to calm himself down. Ted was right; there was no point in taking out his anger here. Not when the source of said anger was just inside the building.

Once the morning session was over and they were off for lunch, Jamie headed over to Rebecca's office, expecting to see you waiting at the desk outside like you usually were, but instead, he almost runs into the owner of the football club.

"Jamie!" Rebecca exclaims, backing away from the football player to avoid a collision. "What brings you here?" He only needed to glance at the empty table for her to know what was going on. "Oh, well, if you're looking for her, better head to Mr. Higgins' office. She's helping his new assistant get used to the system." 

This causes the player's jaw to clench. Jamie mutters a quick thanks before heading to the Director of Football Operations' office, where he found you hunched over a chair and directing something on the laptop to Anthony.

You had spent the first hour of the day basically catching up with Anthony about what you've been doing the past few years. Once you ran out of stories though, you were forced to actually start teaching him what to do.

You started with the simple things like how to organize the emails, fixing the schedule, and what information to take note of, so you could ask your bosses' about it. Anthony's a quick learner, so you guys were making good progress. Once he practically mastered the routine, the two of you went to the clubhouse cafe to get some early lunch. Most of the food there was pre-packed and they’d usually just microwave it, but over the years, you've developed a fondness for them. You bring back the food to Higgins' office and continue to work on it till you hear someone clearing their throat.

You perk up when you realize who it came from. "Jamie! Hi, what're you doing here?"

Jamie's eyes bounce between the two of you, before settling on your own. "Well, I checked your desk but you weren't there, and Rebecca said you'd probably be here, so I went over here. And now I'm wondering if you wanted to get lunch?"

You move to say yes, but quickly back out when you remember the wrappers on the desk. "Oh, sorry Jamie, Anthony and I just ate something from the cafe cause we wanted to spend the lunchtime working on some emails. Maybe another time?" You try and hide the disappointment in your voice by giving Jamie a small smile.

Jamie's expression falters, but he quickly bounces back. "Sure, no problem. Bye," The football player waves at you — and just you, — before heading back downstairs. He shouldn't be acting like this. Feeling this dejected someone saying she can't have lunch with him?

You weren't fairing that well, either. Your shoulders slump once he disappears from view, then you turn back to Anthony who seems to be holding back a laugh. "What's with you?"

"Nothing, just amused at how even two years later, you still don't know how to talk to the guys you like."

You scoff at his response and hit his shoulder. "What do you mean? I do not like Jamie." You protest, which only causes Anthony to roll his eyes.

"Oh please, it's like you transformed back to a seventeen-year-old the way you got excited when he asked you to get lunch with him." You shake your head, but he continues. "It's clear as day that you have a crush on him."

“That word makes us sound like we're seventeen again," You retort, before redirecting the topic back to the task at hand.

But you knew he was right. Even back in the early days of working here, you couldn't deny that you found Jamie attractive. Anyone with eyes could see it, but he was dating Keeley and was a massive prick, so nothing ever came about from it.

Then, he started spending more time with you, checking up on you and stopping you in the halls just to chat. You realized that he was actually pretty sweet when he was off the pitch and you started to realize that you wanted to spend time with him, not just out of pity like before. Plus, you don't think he's seen anyone in a while, so there really was no reason for you to deny your feelings any longer.

Except, of course, the fear of getting rejected by him and ruining the steady and comfortable relationship you currently have. Which is a good reason, you think. You shake your head and try and continue your work in peace.

After spending your lunch writing up reports, it only took another hour to finish up both your and Anthony's duties, so the two of you update Higgins on your progress and ask if you could observe practice for a bit. He scans through your work, before happily letting the two of you go. The moment you get to the pitch, your eyes instantly look for Jamie who is doing pretty well, to no one's surprise. You join the coaches where they’re standing.

Anthony was already a big football fan, so he was able to recognize almost all of the players on the pitch. In fact, he was even saying things that you weren't aware of, despite your three years of working for the owner of a football club. He bends down to whisper a joke in your ear, but the amusement never hits because soon after, you hear O'Brien groaning in pain. You both look up to see Jamie already helping the goalkeeper up after kicking the ball right into his stomach. 

"Whistle! Tartt, stop fucking injuring your teammates!" Roy shouts, to which Jamie quickly apologizes. The practice game continues, but not without you leaning to ask Beard something.

"Coach, is Jamie okay? He seemed fine when I was with him earlier," You turn your head, as Beard continues to watch the practice.

"He's been playing like that all day. Something must've pissed him off." You open your mouth to say something, but Beard reads your mind. "No, we did not give him the signal." You nod before turning back to the game.

You meet Jamie's eyes as he runs across the pitch, and you take the opportunity to give him a smile and a thumbs up, hoping it encourages him somehow. He only nods his head in acknowledgment before continuing, but you can tell in the next few plays that he seems to be calming down. After a while, you and Anthony decide to head back to the office after Rebecca asks you to send some emails on her behalf.

Jamie watched the two of you head back to the building and tried to ignore that growing feeling when Anthony leaned down and rested his arm on your shoulders. He tries and shakes himself right before continuing the game, ignoring all the possibilities of why he’d do that.

The real reason was that Anthony had decided to tease you, whispering close, "Somebody likes you," in a sing-songy voice. "And his name is Jamie Tartt doo-doo-do-doo—"

That exact remark makes you jab his side. "Shut the fuck up, Anthony. He does not." Anthony lets it go as the two of you reach your desk and he leaves you to do your work, though you can't help but feel warm inside at the thought of it being true.

—

Once he gets changed after training, Jamie practically ran upstairs to find you. Usually, he'd offer to drive you home and before Anthony, you'd be too tired to be polite and say no. He stopped himself from sending a message to you once he realized that you had already left. Maybe she's with Anthony, but Jamie shakes his head because fuck that. Jamie Tartt does not get hung over a girl. At least, the old him didn't.

New Jamie had been starting to hope that you stayed in the office longer just so he could see you again, even if you would be busy doing work. He sighs as he decides to leave the building when someone jumps in front to scare him. "Boo!"

"Jesus fucking Christ," he exclaims and steps back before seeing you losing your mind over his reaction. "What'd you do that for?"

"I'm sorry," You apologize in between your laughing fits. "I didn't realize how easily startled you were." After a few more seconds, you finally straighten up and lift two plastic bags.

Jamie gives you a confused look, before you explain, "When we went to watch training, Coach Beard said you've been playing like that the whole day which can only mean one thing; you're in a shit mood. And you don't have to tell me why, but,"

You hand him one of the bags and one whiff tells Jamie it's from that Indian restaurant he loves. "I thought some dinner would cheer you up," Jamie gives you a genuine smile, one you got used to seeing but always love when it shows up. “Because there’s nothing rich people love more than free food.” You add, causing him to roll his eyes.

"Plus, I wanted to make up for not having lunch with you, and celebrate the fact that I now actually have the time to do this again." You continue as the two of you walk over to Jamie's car.

You get in the passenger seat as Jamie turns the car on. The two of you have shared dinner there multiple times before, so you practically had a system for it, and Jamie always "pays you back" by giving you a ride home. You open all the dishes and Jamie quickly starts to devour it.

The two of you enjoy the dinner in silence, — except for the occasional "Pass the pita," or something of the sort — till Jamie decides to ask the burning question that’s been on his mind. "So, how did you and Anthony get so close?" It was an innocent question, but one whose answer could either ease Jamie's thoughts or amplify them ten-fold.

You look up at him, mid-bite, and quickly swallow the food, before replying, "Well, you already know we went to school together, but we were actually seated next to each other for a whole semester, so naturally we became close since we saw each other every day."

Jamie starts to clean up the empty containers but signals you to continue. "To be honest, I kinda liked him back then." Oblivious to how tense Jamie just got, you laugh. "But the crush didn't last long honestly, cause I realized that he wasn't really my type." 

Jamie takes the opportunity. "What is your type, then?"

"Oh, hot footballers, naturally." You decide to give a somewhat honest answer, but cloak it in a layer of sarcasm to hopefully throw Jamie off. "Like Richard," You try and convince Jamie with your tone, but you can barely hold in your laughter afterward.

"Oh fuck off," Jamie rolls his eyes, causing you to laugh even harder. "I'm telling him that tomorrow."

"Jamie Tartt, you fucking wouldn't!" You spend the rest of the ride to your flat trying to get him to promise to say nothing, which ends with a pinky promise to secrecy.

—

The next few days are a mix of hanging out with Anthony, eating meals with Jamie, and finishing up work so you can spend the rest of the day chilling at your desk. You almost forgot what it felt like to have free time and actually relax during work breaks.

You arrive at the clubhouse and immediately head to the Coach's office as per Rebecca's instructions to deliver some documents for the season. There, you meet up with Anthony who also had to bring something to Ted.

When you realize the coach hasn't arrived yet, you decide to wait outside the locker room. Anthony turns to you. "Hey, I forgot to tell you yesterday, but Mina's visiting!" Mina was Anthony's girlfriend and also your former classmate, who once again, you haven't seen in two years. You perk up and ask when you’d get the chance to see her.

Anthony pulls out his phone before responding, "I can make a reservation for us somewhere at, 7 pm?" You quickly scan your mental to-do list and once you realize your schedule is free, you nod.

"Yeah, that works! We'll both be done with work, anyway." 

The two of you are busy planning out your meeting with Mina that you don't notice Isaac and Colin eavesdropping as they make their way to the locker room. From the snippet that they heard, it sounded like the two of you were planning a night out, confirming their suspicions that there was something going on between the two of you.

They share this with Sam, who tries to reason with them. "Friends can go out to dinner without it meaning anything!"

But as they continue discussing it, the more it becomes harder to deny. I mean, the two of you were always together and not to mention, your shared history. They try and hide this from Jamie, — partly to save themselves from the football player's wrath during training, — but once the morning session was over, they crowd him and quickly explain the situation.

At this moment, Jamie didn't even protest their assumption of his feelings — he had accepted that he wasn’t the best at hiding it from them, — and simply stayed silent, which was incredibly worrying. They decide to leave him be and walk back to their lockers, trying to figure out a game plan. They thought you and Jamie would be great together and a guy from your past was not going to stand in the way of their teammate finding someone, not if they have anything to do with it.

Soon after, Anthony enters the locker room and calls out to Sam. The pair walk away to talk and Anthony starts, "Do you happen to have an open table at Ola's tonight? I'm planning to take someone special there and I know how great the food is."

"Well," Sam considers saying that they're fully booked — which big chance, they are, — and there's nothing he could do, but his guilt at even the thought of lying takes over. "Sure, don't worry." Anthony smiles and thanked the player before heading out, but not before promising that he'd send him the proper details later.

Sam heads back to his two teammates and explains what happened, to which Isaac suggests booking the whole restaurant for the team, crashing their date, and making sure they have no alone time together. Colin adds that they can possibly put something in Anthony's food to force him to go home earlier, which Sam quickly shuts down. They turn to Jamie to get his input, only to find an empty bench instead.

Said teammate was already making his way to your desk to talk. Maybe it was the adrenaline from practice or the fact that he drank three cups of coffee this morning after Roy's training session, but he wasn't going to let you go on that date without saying something.

Jamie makes it up the stairs and finds you typing away at your computer. You meet his eyes for a second, before warning, "Hold on, I'm just finishing this email."

The football player decidedly ignores that statement and exclaims, "Don't go on that date." That gets you to save the email as a draft and look up from your screen. Jamie walks closer to you and you stand up, and steer him to a remote corner. If this was what you thought it was, you’d rather not have the entire office witness it go down.

"I'm sorry, what?" You try and clarify.

"Look, some of the boys told me that you and Anthony are going out tonight and I," Jamie takes a breath, "I couldn't let you go through with it. At least, without admitting that I like you. I have liked you for a while now. I didn’t realize that someone could be so sweet and funny and attractive. It’s fucking insane actually, which is why if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been trying to spend as much time with you as I can. And I know it’s stupid of me to not have admitted it till it’s too late, but if by chance you feel the same, then please do not go on that date and instead, maybe go on one with me?”

You take a step back. The guy who you've secretly been pining over for how many months at this point is now trying to stop you from going on a "date,” and so the only thing you can do is stare at him. You stay like that for a second before regaining your senses and taking his hand into yours and giving him a small smile. "Jamie…"

If there was any right time to admit your feelings, this would be it. You open your mouth to continue, but hear Anthony call out to you. You peek over the corner and when Anthony spots you, he quickly shouts, "Look who stopped by!" and moves to reveal Mina.

"Oh my god, you're here!" You exclaim, but turn back to Jamie who has stopped in his tracks and is still holding your hand. You quickly excuse yourself, "It's so nice to see you, but could you actually give me a minute?"

The couple gives you a curious look before Jamie peeks his head over the corner and Anthony immediately understands. The two of them go back downstairs, and you assume Anthony uses the time to explain to Mina what’s going on.

You turn back to Jamie, hoping that the moment isn't ruined, and find the football player still looking at you intently. You decide to get on with it. "Jamie, I don't know why the team thought we were going on a date, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. The girl you just saw is Anthony's girlfriend, Mina, who we also went to school with." Jamie makes an 'o' with his mouth in realization and you lightly chuckle at his expression.

"She's visiting him for the weekend and we're planning to go out to dinner, the three of us, to catch up. I'm basically going to be a third-wheel all night." At this point, Jamie's expression is a cross of embarrassment and anger, likely directed at his gossiping teammates.

Your mind replays Jamie’s confession earlier. "Jamie, did you mean what you said?" Your voice is practically a whisper, but you just have to be sure. "Like right before we got interrupted?"

Instead of giving you a solid answer, Jamie lets go of your hand and cups your face before connecting your lips. It was a soft and gentle kiss as if the football player was still hesitant, but once you reciprocated it, Jamie's confidence came right back. Fuck, and he had every right to be as cocky as he was. He was an amazing kisser.

You're pressed up against the wall, almost getting lost in it, but you break apart to stop it from escalating further when you feel Jamie's hand travel to your thigh.

"Is that enough of an answer for you?" He asks, resting his forehead against yours as you take hold of his forearms. You simply roll your eyes at how easily Jamie returns to his usual self.

You peak down the corridor and thank the universe that no one passed by during this. The two of you separate and decide to head back downstairs — with Jamie never letting go of your hand, — so you could properly greet Mina.

As you walked, you decide to jokingly question, "Were you really that worried about me going on a date that you had to go all rom-com and tell me not to go?" 

Jamie protests, "Well, it's more of the boys' fault, isn't it? They're the ones who got in my head." He pauses for a second. "And don't act like you never wanted something like that to happen to you."

You jab his side and Jamie pretends to be in pain, before laughing it off and slinging his arm on your shoulders. You wrap your arm around his torso. "Only if it's 'one in a million' Jamie Tartt doing it."

You finally find Anthony and Mina in the locker room, with the former introducing her to the players there as his girlfriend. Jamie enters to find the three culprits, looking guiltily at the couple. Minutes after Jamie left, Sam had gotten a text from Anthony saying that their reservation was for three and explained that you were coming along for a reunion dinner with his girlfriend.

The moment they see the two of you enter the room though, Colin, Isaac, and Sam can't help but share a satisfied look, only to be ruined by the glare Jamie sends their way. You laugh at the exchange and only remove yourself from Jamie to greet Mina. You give her a tight hug, confirming Jan's observation that you did greet most of your friends like that.

You pull Jamie towards you and introduce him to Mina, who shares the same teasing look as Anthony. The couple waves at the team to leave and get lunch together. They invite you to join them which you accept, but not before grabbing and squeezing Jamie's hand as a goodbye. The three of you walk away, discussing nearby cafes and restaurants. You hear some cheering from the locker room and you can't help but laugh at how easily the boys reconcile.

Once there's enough distance between yourself and the room, Anthony leans down. "Guess you finally figured out how to talk to boys."

"Who knew it would be Jamie fucking Tartt that managed to get you out of your shell?" Mina adds and you roll your eyes at the pair. They really were made for each other.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi,

I am very much not american so I must admit that my first impulse when seeing all the rap/racism discourse was something like "do I really need to consume more american culture, it's fucking everywhere already". Idk but to me it feels like american/english-speaking culture absolutely dominates a lot of the world, sometimes at the cost of out own cultures and languages, if something is in English it is "good", if it is in own own languages it is "bad". Musicians often start singing in English and more american-like after a while to get bigger. We value American culture and music, they mock our accents (and languages sometimes) and best case scenario see us as funny and silly.

Then I started thinking. Do you think that americans kind of see rap kind of like foreign music still? Like low-brow unexotic foreign music.

I don't know this is a really fresh thought and I'm not sure if I am explaining it very well.

hey first off I just want to say -

you are entirely correct in your reaction that people outside of America/the English-speaking world do not need more American culture thrust upon them! this discussion is extremely centered on Americans, the reception and reaction to rap within America, and excuses that white American use to avoid interacting meaningfully with Black culture, art, and ideas. while anti-Blackness as an issue obviously extends far outside of America, this particular conversation is deeply tied to American culture. I appreciate you pointing that out!

I also think you're point about rap, and by extension other Black artforms, being Othered in American pop culture. certainly in terms of language, African American Vernacular English (AAVE), which is utilized by many rappers, is still heavily disputed in its validity as a "real" language, with many dismissing it as a bastardized version of "proper" English and associating it heavily with those who are lower-class and uneducated. in a similar way to many international artists having to work in English to gain wider recognition and validation, many Black Americans are proficient in "code switching," the practice of switching between AAVE that they likely grew up speaking and an English dialect that is considered more "professional."

similarly, I think your use of the term "low-brow" is very apt. Black music has always been met with distrust and disdain by white audiences. there's a reason that so many people feel the need to bring up sex, drugs, and violence when they talk about rap; to many white cultural gatekeepers that was all rap was. (and, like, we should very much talk about why that is in and of itself a bad thing, when white crime is so often glorified in pop culture. why is the Godfather a classic masterpiece but Black men making art about their own experiences with racism, violence, poverty, and survival don't deserve serious consideration?) and that didn't start with rap! in the early 20th century jazz, also a Black creation, was seen as dangerous for promoting promiscuity among nice white teens. no matter what Black people make, white cultural gatekeepers will find a way to start a moral panic about it.

the reverse also happens as well, with Black people being treated as foreigners even in music genres that they helped pioneer. Black Americans were hugely formative in the early days of country, but are met with hostility in the contemporary country scene. Lil Nas X's Old Town Road was one of the biggest songs of the year it was released and undeniably country but was largely snubbed by country music community, and Beyoncé's new country album, Cowboy Carter, is a direct response to her hostile reception at the Country Music Awards in 2016.

the point being, yes, I don't think it's off-base to say that, to many Americans, rap and Black music and art generally are like... very optional and avoidable parts of pop culture in the way that more white-dominated genres are not, similarly to a lot of international and especially non-English art.

[v1nsmoke]

𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐘 // 𝐂𝐎𝐏!𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐒 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

oneshot - cop!shanks x fem!reader

tw: age gap (both are adults though), mention of guns, smoking

summary: when your cop dad brings you to his promotion party at the police station, you don't expect to meet a red-haired coworker of your dad

fandom: one piece

a/n: remember that zoro oneshot i wrote back in 2023 october with a tiny cop shanks cameo at the end? and how i mentioned that i might make it a full length oneshot? yeah, this is it! I never wrote romance oh lawd and this feels new…

tags: stargirldelight 

wc: 1.2k

notes: modern au, first person pov. 

Dads with daughters - if they don’t despise them - usually threaten boyfriends or suitors with something along the lines of “if you cross my daughter or make her cry, i’ll break your jaw,” and mine was no exception. Unlike most of those dads, he actually could. His ultimate, go-to threat was that if any boy hurts me, he will take them to jail. He did once. That guy was involved in some illegal marihuana deals and owned a gun without any permission, so he went to jail for actual reasons. 

With my single dad being a cop, I used to spend my free time at the police station where he worked whenever he couldn’t find anybody to babysit me. Luckily, his co-workers didn’t mind, and often took care of me while I was there. The last time I visited that station was when I was around fifteen, after that I was allowed to stay at home alone for days. Up until that, I had to be supervised at the station. It wasn’t as boring as it may sound at first, there is lots of exploring to do and many gadgets to ruin. I didn’t do the latter. Maybe once, as an accident, but it got fixed up real quick. My dad’s colleagues taught me how to shoot a gun, which my dad disapproved of. I was seven years old back then, of course he did.

It’s been almost a decade since that happened, and now, I’ve been invited to a get-together to celebrate my father’s promotion at the station. It was well-deserved, he’s done many great deeds and had been working hard, harder than anyone. I was tasked with the food. I thought that the best would be to make pizzas and something sweet for dessert, maybe some of those mini pretzels for a snack, but there was no way I’d make the latter. There are shops for that.

“How’s the progress?” My dad asks, sneaking up on me.

“Almost done,” I answer, adding the finishing touches.

“Hm, they look good,” he says, taking one of the freshly prepared cupcakes.

“You’ll get them at the station, until that, no more!”

I load the two boxes into the car, dad sitting in the driver’s seat picking the music while he waits.

“I could use a hand here,” I call out.

“Grow a third one,” he replies calmly.

I hop into the car. Dad revs up the engine, and the vehicle finally gets moving.

“Lots of things have changed since you were last there,” he starts the conversation. 

“Like what?”

“I got some new coworkers, you’ll like them. We also renovated some rooms.”

“You mentioned the renovations before. I remember that you ruined most of your jeans because of it, we had to throw out like ten pairs because they all had paint on them and I couldn’t wash it out.”

“The good old times,” he sighs. “It’s been real lonely since you moved away. Feel free to move back if you feel like it.”

He parks the car in the tiny parking lot of the police station. He sits in the car, immersed in the song playing on the radio.

At the ripe age of twenty, I moved to my own tiny house. Up until that point, I didn’t even stop to think that he might feel alone. I made a mental note that I’ll make sure to visit him more often now.

“You’re not going in?” I ask.

“Do I need to? There’s gonna be lots of people,” he whines.

“I thought you were my dad, not my son.”

“Go, get the food out from the trunk, in the meantime, I’ll mentally prepare myself,” he instructs.

With a sigh, I get out of the car, and lift the trunk open.

“You need help with that?” an unknown voice asks.

I turn around to find a man leaning against the wall, a cigarette between his fingers. Light smoke swirled around him as he stepped forward.

“I think I can handle it,” I nervously answer.

“Here, let me,” he says, taking one of the boxes from my hand with a gentle move.

My dad gets out of the car.

“Shanks, good to see you!” He greets the man next to me. “I see you already found my daughter.”

“This fine lady is your daughter? You better watch out, then,” he smiles at him mischievously.

“Don’t you dare, Red Hair!” Dad replies.

“At least he helped me with the boxes,” I intervene.

“Your pa didn’t?” 

“He told me to grow a third arm.”

The red haired man chuckles, looking over to my dad.

“Not too nice of you, Hank,” he says, walking off with the box.

Inside gathered a swarm of people. Some people I knew, some I didn’t. Dad did say he got some new coworkers, and I assumed this red-haired man was one of them. Most of them wore their regular uniforms, some, who were off-duty that day, had casual clothes on.

I place the box on one of the tables, the red-haired man following suit. I take the food out of the said boxes, placing them onto separate trays and plates.

“Where can one get this food from? Looks delicious,” he speaks, picking up a slice of pizza. Luckily it was still fresh enough.

“From me,” I answer.

“Thank you, it’s nice to hear someone appreciating it,” I reply.

“You made all this? Impressive, I might just move to your house only for the food,” he says before taking a bite of the dish. “No, not might. Definitely.”

I chuckle at his statement.

“Your dad doesn't? He should, it’s amazing,” he says, his mouth still stuffed.

“Even if he does, he doesn’t say it out loud.”

“Are you a chef or something? Or is this just a hobby of yours?”

“More like a hobby. I work in an office, I hate it. I want to see the world or do some action, y’know.”

“Of course I do. I wanted action too, that’s why I’m an officer. They still give me paperwork, but when there really is some action, it’s worth it. We can teach you some things if you want.”

“You really would?” I enthusiastically inquire.

“Why not? I’ll do it in exchange for more food of yours. Deal?”

“Deal,” we shake hands.

“So first, I really want to teach you how to shoot a gun. You did that before?” He asks, walking back and forth in front of me.

“A few times, many years back.”

“You remember how to do it?”

I hold the handgun firmly, bringing it upwards. I lock my eyes on the target, an old soda can that he likely got from the trash, and I pull the trigger. The bullet was close, but flew by the can. I lower my hand in defeat.

“Mostly.”

“Here,” he says, handing me a handgun, “aim at that can right there.”

“Give it another try,” he encourages.

I lift my arms back up, aiming again. This time, the bullet made a dent into the can.

“That’s it! Off to a good start,” he speaks, patting my shoulders. “Maybe your posture is the only problem I had, though really minor.”

He comes closer, behind me. He gently places his hand on my arm and adjusts my shoulders. 

“There you go,” he whispers next to my ear. 

“Officer,” my dad interrupts.

“Yes sir?” The red-haired man turns to him. “Keep the posture,” he instructs me.

“Is that my daughter?”

“Yes sir.”

“Please don’t call me sir. Makes me feel old,” my dad grunts, walking closer. He comes to a halt next to me, observing me. Please don’t take the gun away, please don’t take the gun away…

“Keep up the good work. Teach her good, officer,” says my dad, walking back to where he came from.

red-haired shanks belongs to eiichiro oda.

© v1nsmokes 2024. Do not modify, translate or rewrite.

[hughesd4le]

21 (insta edit) | jack hughes x pop star singer! reader

summary: you & jack have been dating for a while neither of your guys fan base had a clue that the two of you we’re together or that one of the songs you wrote was about him.

note: this literally came out like ass but i still wanted to post it. hope you guys enjoy

y/nofficial

liked by trevorzegras, lhughes_06, _quinnhughes and others

y/nofficial i just wanna say a huge thank you to everybody that came to see me perform. i am very thankful for all of you.

load more comments.

trevorzegras you were amazing my favorite litte rat. we’re so proud of you, can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you.

y/nofficial love you too satan. so glad that you guys got to come out and see me.

fan1 they know eachother???

lhughes_06 it’s so obvious the last song was about him.

y/nofficial no shit sherlock, this is why quinn is my fav hughes.

_quinnhughes i’ve been promoted to favorite hughes now?

fan1 she knows the hughes??? and who is the song about????

fan2 the song is probably about trevor

y/nofficial it’s definitely not about trevor. he’s literally like a brother to me.

fan3 who is she dating?

jackhugeswife better not be jack. she’s literally a whore.

fan1 she’s not a whore.

jackhugheswife she’s friends with his brothers and trevor i bet she hooked up with the three of them

fan2 her and trevor have been childhood best friends? and second of you don’t even know her so she’s not a whore💀

jackhughes

liked by y/nofficial, trevorzegras, lhughes_06 and 134,053 others

jackhughes had an amazing break with my amazing friends and family.

_quinnhuges you’re so whipped on her but congrats on finally pulling her after being a scaredy-cat to ask her out.

jackhughes quinn what the fuck why are you calling me out.

jacksnico damn quinn really did jack dirty

trevorzegras who’s that girl all over my boyfriend. how dare she steal you away from me🙄

lhughes_06 cry about it zegras. she’s way better than you

jackhughes trev it’s not like that i swaer she’s a side chick

y/nofficial damn i gotta go tell her.

fan1 that’s y/n it has to be

jacknico omg you’re right it might be they have similar hair and facial features 

fan2 omg you’re so right

y/nofficial

liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras, _quinnhughes and 96, 502 others

y/nofficial you’d be the love of my life

jackhughes i love you, my angel

y/nofficial i love you most pretty boy

fan1 I KNEW IT.

trevorzegras boyfriend stealer🙄 kidding. congrats on coming out to the crazy jack stan’s

jamiedrysdale why didn’t you tell me she was dating jack. i feel betrayed

y/nofficial i’m so sorry jams please forgive me

jamiedrysdale i’ll forgive you. only because you said you would still wear my jersey.

lhughes_06 i think i should get credit for the first picture🙄

y/nofficial all credits goes to little hughes for the pictures 🙄

nicohischier so you’re the girl he’s been talking about the past few days

dawson1417 nico this was supposed to stay between us and jack

jackhughes what the fuck nico i thought you were better then this💔

nicohischier you have been annoying me the last few days during practice. you deserved to be called out.

y/nofficial awh he talks about me. i knew he was down bad but didn’t know he was down bad like that down bad.

[conscbgb]

I came across this video where Taeyong was explaining the inspiration behind the song "Love is a Beauty" and what he said left me with a deep sadness...for him...for all of them because I think the situation is more or less the same for them all...

We know how the k-pop industry works (and we know it sucks) but listen to a grown up, talented, hard working, brilliant, caring man of 28 years old saying that he "actually don't know about love" should make you think...especially their fans...what he, all 9 of them, give up in the name of their dream are 2 of the most important things that we are gifted in life : Love & Freedom.

And it's something that when you are 17 yo you can endure, you tell yourself "It's ok! I wanna become this or that...it's a big sacrifice but it's my dream"...when you are 28 you endure it anyway but...it's different...

The Love they get from their families, real friends, band mates,working team, fans is a totally different thing from the love you get from that 1 right person for you, that one who loves the REAL you, the natural and "imperfect" YOU, who support you anyway, your "Ride or Die" together, not because you are a worldwide famous singer/artist and the allure that comes with it!

Part of the reason they are forced to put Love in stand-by is because of the fans (the toxic/psycho ones obv) because God forbid if the news of one of them dating gets out! All the hate they receive...the company who rush to explain that the news is not true while going to repremend that poor one who was "caught" goin' out 🙈 and all of this for what?? They are grown men, they should be able to live their lives and that little free time they have in the best possible way for them!

But it doesn't work that way...their freedom is put on hold too! And not only because the company exploit them and their talent as much as they can, making them work literally 24/7 365 days a year especially during the promoting season, they can't use their freedom in absolute private matters too... like getting a tattoo! They can't get a tattoo without fans "consent": it's literally their skin!! What do you mean they should ask fans before do it?? Fu€k it!! I would tattoo my whole body like Michael Scofield just to piss those "fans" off 🤣

They can't smoke...thank God they "limit" themselves with smoke because with all the pressure the company/audience/themselves put upon their beings I would be high all the time just to get throught it...

The way they can't almost interact with women in front of cameras (or in general because they are literally haunted from stalkers) it's insane in my opinion and the company should take action more often to protect them! And it's equally shocking the fact they can't interact the way they really want between them (band mates) because if one of them look or talk in a certain way to the one he is not "shipped" with from fans ➡️ hate

This album and tour mean a lot to them and to us because we know what is gonna happen starting from next year...so please: let the guys enjoy this experience to the fullest! Support them! Let them Live! RESPECT THEM! They deserve it 🙏😉

Video credit @neocrushtech on TT

[sageistri]

https://www.tumblr.com/sageistrii/746557805656506368/how-long-are-armys-going-to-continue-acting?source=share

Hi, sorry for the long ask, but I just wanted to share my feelings with you. You know, it's so sad, and I feel really bad for Hobi. He doesn't deserve this treatment from the fandom and his company. His album is actually quite good, even i think better than v's album but because he doesn't have solid fanbase like v, he can't pull his numbers. And it's just painful to see hybe treating him and other members as if they are not part of the company. Instead, currently they're pushing the new girl group's song over his, and i know it is business but how they treat jk and others is still totally unacceptable. They've spent so much money on jk but his songs weren't that good. I could olny enjoy 3 of his songs from the whole album, while others had catchy parts, they weren't good as a full song. Still, he did way better because of all the promotion he got. I know jk has more fans but I believe if Hobi had better promotion, he could do way better than he is now. It's not just about records and all that, it's about unequal treatment, and it's so freaking sad...

I'm just going to be blunt. Hobi's music isn't that much better than jk's or v's.

I think some people do this thing where they act like just because music isn't "pop" it means it's good or better.

Hobi is a great artist, and I talked about how it was nice for him to go experimental with his debut but does he actually make enjoyable music?

Songs having a deeper meaning or being self written doesn't automatically make it good. Good for you if you like hobi's music but personally I think he makes the worst music in BTS. And prior to Golden, jk used to have some of the best solo songs in BTS🤷🏾‍♀️

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Sorry pls ignore my last ask BPP. Your point about Seven being the 'Dynamite' equivalent in solo era is a good one and explains the treatment it got. After the BB article I also now understand why BH dropped LC. If BB believed the LC record was 'tainted' with Chinese cash and BH never had that 'Dynamite' promotion plan for it, everything that's happened makes sense. But it still leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. I can't wash it out. Are we now at the mercy of BB's whims? Also don't you find the support for Seven excessive? Is the elimination of direct to consumer sales enough to explain that kind of support to keep it number 1? I'm just trying to understand how the company is thinking about things without victimizing the members. They all seem to be still working with purpose so I feel they don't feel shortchanged, but from the outside looking inside it doesn't feel fair.

*

Ask 2:

Hi BPP,

Re: bb article

1. Do you think there will be additional changes coming, making sales even less relevant for bb charts?

2. I absolutely hate that it is again Jimin that takes the brunt of all this bulshit, I really do. He doesnt deserve this at all. But he is strong, he will be OK. That being said, its making me really upset IRL, so I will have to do some me time.

3. I would be interested to know your outlook on BB as a whole when it comes to BTS and their future in US market (if you have talked about this pls refer me to the post)

My opinion is, that while BB is paramount when it comes to big awards season, eventually BB and the awards themselves serve as a kind of promotion, to validate the artist to their (potential) fanbase, keep them invested etc. BTS guys do all of that on their own, with their music, personalities and lyrics. So going forward, if they dont chart as much, dont win as much... It will not matter in the long run. Their fan base is so solid that I trully believe they will have no problem selling multiple stadium stops 25 years from now. Easily.

There will be a significant fandom fall off, when all the people who are here for bragging rights lose their interest. And that is a good thing... But the people who will stay, who love the guys for who they are and for their art, those whose love does not depend on how many grammy noms or BB H100 they recieve... These people will stay and buy the tickets. And their numbers will still be enourmous. Enviable. More than the majority of the western industry plants can only dream of.

Rant over. Have a good weekend

*

Ask 3:

The latest Billboard discussion is disheartening, but the NYT article description of U.S. conservatives aping the tactics of Swifties and BTS fans to get their nefarious messaging across is even more so. Have we opened the gate for the Trumpsters of the world?

I was struck by this partvof the original question to you"

'... figure out a way to truly determine which songs are most popular (whatever that even means anymore)....'

So, how can we ever know what is truly popular? Are fervent fans willing to devote time and resources to get their fave to the top really the best arbiters? Even if they number in the millions, we are still looking at support that is far deeper than it is wide.

I mean, better than the suits deciding, I guess? Or is it just another group--this one outside of the target country--imposing their agenda on the population? One has the goal of making money; the other of winning a fan war.

So, how do we ascertain what is truly popular with the much-vaunted GP? Or doesn't it matter?

***

I've said many times on this blog that I'm not a writer, and that English isn't my first language, so I suppose it's unsurprising that despite my efforts putting my thoughts to paper/Tumblr, I'm still unable to fully communicate it in a way people understand right away, to eliminate/answer a lot of questions that I believe should be clear to infer from what I've written before. So rather than write a massive post like before where my key points could get lost, I'll pick out key questions from your asks and give fairly brief answers to each one. I'll work my way from the top, down.

Hi Anon(s),

Select answers below:

"Also don't you find the support for Seven excessive? Is the elimination of direct to consumer sales enough to explain that kind of support to keep it number 1?"

I think the results speak for itself. Dynamite and the PET got what is easily the biggest support any BTS release had gotten to date at the time - all of it tailored to mirror how American labels promoted their tracks, *and* the fandom had D2C sales buttressing it as the primary support mechanism. Like, please read that sentence again and think about what it means. Sales are the easiest and most transparent way for the fandom to influence charts, and so was always preferred for ARMY. Even if you weren't in the fandom then, understand it's impossible to overstate how much D2C sales mattered. With that now out of the question, everything we're seeing for Seven for me feels like a given, especially after the Billboard article.

"Do you think there will be additional changes coming, making sales even less relevant for bb charts?"

Yes. But not 'less relevant' in a sense, more like differentiated and treated as its own thing, perhaps in a separate chart.

"I would be interested to know your outlook on BB as a whole when it comes to BTS and their future in US market (if you have talked about this pls refer me to the post)"

This probably requires its own post but the long-short of it is: just like Ticketmaster, Billboard is only one arm of one of the largest private monopolies in the US entertainment market - PMC, and as such they serve as gatekeepers of sorts. Their interest in BTS (and k-pop by extension) lies primarily in how they can profit off the group/fandom, which so far BigHit and ARMY have created very limited avenues for. BigHit's strategy until now has been to expand BTS's reach without relying on the PMC apparatus, using it only for select releases that are explicitly tailored for it e.g. Seven and PET. While I don't think this strategy will change dramatically, every change from BB is to force more compliance with their apparatus. BTS will continue facing handicaps from PMC so long as BigHit continues limiting how PMC can profit from BTS for each release. (This sentence makes sense in my head but if it's not clear, please let me know.)

*

"Have we opened the gate for the Trumpsters of the world?"

Well, yeah. But ARMYs can't take all the credit. After all, ARMYs are only doing what the Bey Hive and Swifties have been doing for almost a decade with none of the scrutiny. BTS, more than any other group, actually has the absolute numbers in demand and grassroots support to justify it as they're comparable to the afore-mentioned artists, proven by their concert showings not just in the US but worldwide, as far back as 2018. People only started paying attention to ARMYs' movements because BTS didn't look like the sorts of people they expected to see at the top of the charts. Everybody took notice, including a political faction in the US that in recent years has moved more aggressively into the entertainment sphere to influence culture, such as Ben Shapiro's entertainment empire, movies like Sound of Freedom topping box office charts, and conservative country singers pushing Reagan-esque talking points to the top of music charts. So it's basically the result of timing and opportunity.

"So, how can we ever know what is truly popular? Are fervent fans willing to devote time and resources to get their fave to the top really the best arbiters? ... how do we ascertain what is truly popular with the much-vaunted GP?"

I've talked about this before I think. You can find my views on it in my Masterlist, and I've linked the post here.

*

People sent in more asks on BB but I've since lost interest in this topic and will post my responses when I feel like it, much later, using the same format I've used to answer the asks above. The truth is that while I understand why many people feel like everything that's happened so far with Seven and Jimin is unfair, I think a lot of the discourse is awfully reductive, actually does a disservice to Jimin and BTS, and that there's a much bigger picture here that's more consistent with how BTS has operated for the last 10 years.

This is probably not the best analogy, but one way I think of BTS is like a Swiss army knife, with each member being a separate tool. And that at different points, in various markets, BigHit and BTS are testing various approaches to expand their reach while aiming to maintain the market share they've gotten so far. The group has always had projects they release that have more artistic merit and cache, versus projects made by all appearances to be purely for commercial purposes to expand the reach of the group. For example, consider how BigHit promoted Butter/Permission to Dance, compared to the BE album, or how Seven was created and promoted relative to Indigo. To go back in even further in previous years, I remember how BTS appeared to center Jimin in Blood, Sweat & Tears era to build out his and their presence in Korea, and Taehyung in DNA era where his and BTS's presence in China ballooned in 2017.

While in the solo era some people feel like every accomplishment remains solely with individual members, I feel everything serves only one purpose: to further establish the group. Because by BTS's own words, they all have their individual ambitions, they've always had that and each member is aggressively competitive on that note, but they've each all said that their priority remains the group. Not everybody likes that, not everybody believes them when they say it, but the good thing with BTS is that they plan in multi-year stints and time always reveals what the facts of the matter are. We're only one year into Chapter 2, and while certain parts of the fandom are treating their solo debut albums as the be all and end all, I don't think there's anything to suggest this perspective lines up with the reality of how BTS has behaved for the last 10 years. I could be wrong, but either way we're just going to have to wait and see. In the meantime, I believe there's significant artistic merit in what the guys are putting out in Chapter 2, that I hope isn't lost in the noise. The fandom should do a better job of bringing the attention back to this, rather than a tunnel-vision on performance metrics that only tell half of the story.

[stormblessed95]

Hiii stormie my dear, how are you? first of all, i wanted to say that i adore your blog and i think u are a breath of fresh air here. Thank you! Because i trust u, I wanted to say some things im thinking about since seven released, i hope u dont mind.

Ok, like jk says: lets get it! Right, I do understand people feeling sad about jimin and face era. It was awful how sabotaged he was, and i still dont get what really happened and i'm mad to whatever or whoever is responsible for it. But i'm seeing so many people doubting the veracity in jungkookie's success with seven and i'm hating it. I dont think the song is getting payola, nor playlists by paying for it and neither ads on youtube. First, the song was sent to radios, but just a few of them r playing it, one of them being a guy who loves to plays "k-pop" songs. If there was payola, it would be playing everywhere all the time already. The playlist thing: just like "like crazy eng. ver", seven entered the Today's Top Hits playlist. But at #23 place. I just saw a tweet by a guy talking about this: https://twitter.com/cantorpedia/status/1680258574688088066?s=20. We know that there's some shady thing happening in this playlist for a while, and if seven have deals to get this high debut numbers, it would had debuted at the top in the playlist, even in the cover (it may go up next week, because there is supposed to be some internal logic that the more a song receives streams IN the playlist, the more it rises). Also, seven had a huge filtering in spotify, just like all BTS' songs, which also shows that they r not making deals. Now, about Youtube ads... i saw a person posting a ss about seeing an ad of the song, but apparently is fake.

Seven is doing AWESOME numbers because: its a english catchy song, with a cute mv, sang by THEE Jeon Jungkook. Im not joking, seven is really a gp success.. yesterday i saw 3 people from my daily life and inner circle talking about loving the song. My sister, who is not an army, said that she listened to the song all day while i was not home. Gp is loving it. So they did with butter (which is a eng song too), but Seven has a differential: the clean and explict version r being counted combined. Plus, seven is doing awesome everywhere, even in korean charts.

If there was something shady going on, i dont think they would make more than 1 version for the song, even on youtube (there is a new perfomance video for the explict ver). They would just send to radios and count on the payola and the deals w spotify, tiktok, youtube, for the charts (thats what most western artists does). But since billboard started filtering the songs so much so that made like crazy drop from 1 to 45 in a week and then stopped counting digital versions from usa based artist stores, BTS had to start making available to fans different versions of the same song because they know they cant count on radio, but can count on the sales and streams. Since Like Crazy, i feel like Hybe is experimenting ways of overcoming the sabotage by the industry.

The thing is, i think we can and should talk and raise questions about how jimin was treated badly, in every chart and streaming platform. For example, views from youtube were not being frozen in Yoongi's songs too, just like jk's. So, its not a privilege that jk is receiving, its just that something was really happening with face promotions, who knows what and why. But that was not jk's or any member fault.

Anyway, i'm happy for jk and i know much more is coming his way. And i cant wait for jimin to make a new comeback soon too. I hope it all goes well yk, Jimin deserves the best in his promotions just like jk and the other members. Lets hope. I'm sorry for hijacking your tumblr for this rant, im hoping u have some thoughts on the subject

Rant shared. I shared my thoughts about most of this a few weeks ago, I'm sure anyone who wants to can still scroll to go find it all, I'm not *really* wanting to open it all back up for discussion again. People are VILE honestly. I enjoy the song, it's fun, it's not much more than that and it's clearly made to be a western audience radio hit. Jungkook deserves and has my full support though! 💜 thanks for sharing

[levok]

Like I get that that Omar is close to the Ten CEO guy and won't leave, but wouldn't that give them more motivation to promote him? It makes me so mad, because while I personally enjoy most of Omar's music, I do see how some of it isn't necessarily the kind of music I could see going TikTok viral or being played on the radio. But happier is literally a banger, it seems like so many people could like it if they were exposed to it (ads, radio, actual tiktok content,...) but they are doing NOTHING. Wouldn't you want to see the kid that lived with you for 4 years succeed, or at least do everything in your power to do that? Of the 3 original songs he released this year, not one was actually performed live properly (I don't think the best dressed man thing counts, there was only shaky story recordings), especially cmbyn and sfilints are ballads, where he could show amazing vocal range which he has shown he has when performing live which might have gained him some traction. I get if he was busy, but releasing a song every two months with barely promoting them, not performing them, and then ignoring their existence pretty much a week after they were released just seems like a terrible strategy. Sorry for the rant, I am just upset bc Omar has so much potential but with this marketing, he seriously needs a lucky viral tiktok song or sth like that in order to get the recognition he deserves.

Nah I heavy agree. Happier has so much potential and they are sleeping on it.

[juliapark13]

I genuinely cried bc of these things that jm have to go through all from the debut days but especially after what he faced with his debut album, but today its on whole another level, like good for y'all jkkrs and army but as a jm solo who never dragged other members and even streamed some songs for them, this is heartbreaking but one thing I don't understand is why y'all shade rapline especially yg for Jimin's short and disturbed promo time but not jk for immediately flying to the US with bangpd after jm's BB hit 100 #1 and recorded something and posed for 'history in the making' photos with bangpd and scooter braun, is it just because y'all think he's jm's boyfriend or is there something else that supports this favouritism like it's clear that jm's sabotaged by the company because they want jk to be the one to be the breakout star of BTS but jm disrupted by topping the hot 100 and not to support yg when they know that yg is in no way competition with jm as they released in different genres and they're both different in their popularity levels. Lastly I'm not against your beleifs about their relationship or anything I just don't understand not holding up jk to the standards y'all hold up other members when it comes to the sabotage situation of jm because the one who's going to benefit the most from it is going to be jk, so just a genuine doubt..

I genuinely cried too. After every single sabotage. The most heartbreaking thing to see was that false biggest free fall. I weren’t able to get over everything that happened and I won’t be able to.

I didn’t shade rapline, I said it’s only company’s fault, not any member’s fault. I don’t want other members to get sabotaged or to get less promotion so it would be fair. It just shouldn’t be about priviliges. Everyone should get proper promotion. The unfair thing is that JM was robbed and we can’t turn back time, so it will stay like this.

I didn’t understand how Yoongi could get 100+ days of promotion while Jimin got only 9. Since their albums happened to overlap, they could promote both at the same time. Moreover after JM made history. Normal company celebrates huge success of their artists.

I believe in that company are people who can’t stand to see Jimin’s success and they are jealous of his achievements. They were mad after he was No1 for sure.

And to answer your question about JK. JK is my 2nd bias since the beginning, I loved him before I even thought they are in a relationship and his songs are my 2nd favourite, so I’m happy for his success and I’m excited for his album. It’s not his fault company wants him to be their star.

And if JK gets radio? I will be happy for him, but it will be extremely unfair towards Jimin, so at the same time it will make me very sad.

At the end of the day I only hope JM will be even more successful despite everything and every person who wants to put him down, so they all can be even more jealous. He deserves the best in life. There aren’t a lot of people like him.

[thebroccolination]

So, I have a theory about GawinKrist and Gawin's vampire show with Joss that seemed to come out of nowhere.

THE GOLDEN BLOOD THEORY

Gawin's been around since 2018, but he didn't get a main role in a BL until Be My Favorite. Back in (presumably) 2017, he worked as an usher at a movie theater after graduating from high school in the States in 2016. His two biggest roles before BMF were arguably Mork in the Kiss series (2018-2019), and Dan in Not Me (2021).

He was also the best part of Enchanté (2022), but tragically not one of the main cast.

After Gawin stuck with GMMTV through the worst of the pandemic regulations that restricted filming and then thoroughly proved his range in Not Me, I have a feeling that GMMTV was finally planning to give him his first leading role in a BL series: a vampire series opposite Joss planned for 2023.

Then, unexpectedly, Mike left his leading role in Be My Favorite in maybe August or September, and this is presumably when GMMTV looked at their options for Krist's costar and decided Gawin was their best bet.

Here's my thinking: if Golden Blood was planned for 2023, then GMMTV would have announced it at their showcase for 2023 programming in November of 2022. But the Be My Favorite recasting of Mike for Gawin was announced in September of 2022, so GMMTV could have easily pulled Golden Blood from the lineup and pushed it back a year. Since Gawin has never had a partner and Joss has never been in BL before this, no one was expecting a series from them, so no one would have known to expect anything from Gawin at all. Based on conversations I've had with Gawin's fans, he'd been so inactive that they didn't think he'd have a series at all in 2023.

Meanwhile, GMMTV had already announced Be My Favorite at their 2021 showcase of 2022 programming, and the director Waa had requested more time to work on the script in 2022, so the air date was pushed to 2023. As of September of 2022, Be My Favorite was announced, anticipated, already pushed back a year, and most likely paid for, so it was probably considered a high-priority series. Not to mention it had one of the Holy Trinity and the director of The Gifted attached, and it was to be the first BL series produced by Parbdee Studios.

My mantra with GMMTV for the past several months has been this:

They're incompetent, not malicious.

The fact that Gawin Caskey, better known to most for singing rather than acting, had never performed onstage before this summer at MUSICON in Japan and had to go to Krist before the second show because he had no idea what to talk about between songs is bonkers to me. Like, I'm not at all a GMMTV anti. I praise them when they deserve it, but holy shit. You've had a talent like Gawin Caskey for five years and you only just put him onstage this year?

I think SOTUS being the shock hit that saved them from bankruptcy is a good summary of how GMMTV seems to operate, at least from what I've seen: they throw stuff at a wall and sometimes it works really well! They like money a lot, so if money happens immediately, they do more of that even if they have no idea how it happened or why it was appealing.

Speaking of which—

GAWINKRIST & BE MY FAVORITE PROMOTION

Over the course of filming and promotion, Krist and Gawin became very close. They've both called each other their safe zone, Gawin moved his TV into Krist's house to be a second gaming screen for a while because he was over there constantly, and Krist got Gawin three (3) separate, custom birthday cakes in August (one at a small surprise party, one at the BMF final episode screening, and one at Gawin's birthday event). Krist even integrated Gawin into his university friend group, which is so absolutely fucking wild I can't even. Krist is twenty-eight years old and he adores Gawin so much he wanted Gawin to be part of a friend group he's had for ten years.

Gawin adores Krist's favorite child, they went to an art gallery, and once they even tried to bring a guitar to a beach at night to play music to the stars or some shit (the beach was closed they're both ridiculous). So when Krist calls Gawin "my precious buddy" he doesn't do it as some fanservice thing. They are basically family at this point, regardless of what happens in their professional lives, and it was a beautiful dynamic to watch over the summer.

Part of what made their chemistry so natural in Be My Favorite probably had a lot to do with how much they opened up to each other. Back in May, Krist shared that because he and Gawin aren't especially fond of social media, they discussed how to do the necessary promotion for their series comfortably. Krist actually got Gawin Caskey on TikTok to do TikTok dances, so once again: very good friends.

They also shared videos of them just hanging out at Krist's house eating snacks and playing video games, or playing guitar and riffing, playing with harmonies so beautiful I mourn daily that they don't have an album together.

When the series started airing, Krist invited Gawin to his house to watch the episodes together and go over their acting choices. But GMMTV had also scheduled Krist for a slew of solo concerts throughout Asia, so he had to watch some of them alone on the road overseas. What would have been a fun weekly promotion opportunity was complicated by GMMTV's bizarrely timed scheduling. (Of course, Krist rarely has a day off in general, but you'd think they'd organize his schedule to prioritize his first BL series since 2017.)

Be My Favorite didn't get much promotion overall compared to other GMMTV series, and GawinKrist especially seemed to be treated sort of as an afterthought. They had a few podcast interviews, they went to see Elementals at the cinema (which ended up inspiring Krist's theme for his solo "Elements" concerts in Bangkok), they went to Japan together for MUSICON, Aye had them sing on her channel, and they had a live session for RISER. Those were all the major ones, I think. Not nothing, but there were a ton of missed opportunities for more.

And for a company whose CEO recently touted their actors as influencers and obsesses over Twitter hashtag trends and viewing numbers, the lack of opportunities they gave GK is a little unusual to me.

Unless GMMTV knew they had a vampire series starring Gawin and another actor that they'd postponed. And it'd be announced at their showcase for 2024 programming in October shortly after Be My Favorite ended in August.

It might also explain why, when pretty much every other series had a song performed at the showcase medley, Be My Favorite wasn't included. Even though Krist and Gawin are both known singers who had four songs in Be My Favorite between them.

In the immediate aftermath of the showcase, a lot of GawinKrist fans were unhappy with the news of Gawin's new series, myself included. I'm not a big vampire fan in general, and I'm not impressed with the teaser, the director, or the screenwriter, so I probably won't be watching it. (BounPrem's vampire series is starring BounPrem, so that's why that one's my exception.) I am, however, very happy for Gawin for getting more main character money and remaining in a lead role. He's an absolute sweetheart, and I hope he has more music in 2024 that I can support.

As days passed after the showcase, the more I thought about Golden Blood and where it came from. GMMTV is incompetent, sure, and GawinKrist didn't make the same waves as other pairs, but they definitely have a committed fanbase, and Be My Favorite got overwhelmingly positive reviews, particularly for GawinKrist's chemistry. They trended consistently whenever they did anything, and most intriguingly, Japanese fans really love them thanks to MUSICON and FanFest. Japanese magazines are still releasing interviews and photoshoots with GawinKrist to this day (with plans for more!).

The only thing that makes sense to me is that Golden Blood was meant to happen first, and GMMTV didn't want to waste resources pushing GawinKrist over the summer when they knew Gawin would have to start from scratch with Joss in October.

It's kind of wild to think about, but if Mike hadn't left Be My Favorite, it would have gone ahead as planned, and Golden Blood would have aired this year at some point. And that would mean there's a timeline out there where Gawin and Krist were never cast together, and this beautiful friendship they created never happened. They never got to experience that safe zone they found in each other, and they never would have known what they were missing.

I'm still sad that their professional time together was so short, but this theory makes me feel better about it because rather than being something we were robbed of, they were a gift we never expected.

And just like KristSingto before them, GawinKrist are still close, still friends, and can enjoy their time together without the added pressure of selling and promoting their closeness. They can be friends without scrutiny. They can count their series as a point of pride. This unexpected masterpiece that brought them together.

And maybe someday, when their schedules line up again, they can make the beautiful fucking album that I deserve. [fire emoji]

[silliestofbilliest]

HEAR ME OUT

Okay so I know that basically every Good Omens fan is still reeling from season 2 but I have some thoughts about a specific song from Aziraphale's season 2 playlist 🤨

So "Earth Angel" by The Penguins is one that really stuck out to me (Not just because it's a song I really love but) because of the lyrics behind it which I think relate more to Aziraphale's thought process than to the angel himself. AKA: Yeah this song can just be about Aziraphale bc he's an angel on earth ORRRRRRR it's about how Aziraphale sees Crowley.

(If you couldn't tell I'm so normal about this)

SO LIKE as we all know Aziraphale still believes that since Crowley "was an angel at some point" that they are still inherently good by heaven's standards (which Aziraphale still believes deep down in his non-corporeal heart is good in nature because of some deep religious trauma but that's another rant-) while being the only other being to truly care about humanity as much as he does. But when given the chance to bring back that smile that made him fall for Crowley in the first place before time even began

"I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you"

Aziraphale can't help but take the chance to not only make Crowley, what he thinks, truly happy by making him an angel once again

But to also to make the heaven that rejected Crowley, good enough for him since he believes Crowley deserves only the best from those who hurt him in the past. All of this to say "I love you" to the being he's been in love with for around 6,000 years.

Just like the song in the verses,

"Please be mine, my darling dear, love you all the time."

This attempt is desperate, loving, and all around a question of whether or not Crowley is willing to accept this big offer. Aziraphale is willing to sacrifice all his human belongings and titles just so he can spend all of time making eternity perfect for Crowley since they'll no longer be on opposing sides. He chooses to say yes to the offer out of love and his fear of losing Crowley through refusing (what he believes to be) a secure future for the both of them by choosing to be "selfish" and fighting both heaven and hell on their own side. He wishes that he could trust in their own side and the strength of humanity but, Crowley has always been the greater optimist out of the both of them. But even he cannot understand Aziraphale's unspoken mental gymnastics when it comes to this promotion.

He thinks that by saying yes that Aziraphale has thrown away all that they have been building up for the past thousands of years on earth (aka), throwing away their love. While Aziraphale believes the only way for him to truly proclaim his love is through sacrificing his presence on earth (which is another example of that religious trauma he still hasn't recovered from).

Both suffering from the others' unintentional rejection at the end of season because of their stubbornness when it comes to mutual communication.

(You can tell I'm an Aziraphale apologist but thank you for coming to my Ted Talk-)

[life-in-the-garden]

A Spell for Knighthood

image source

Background

This spell was inspired by reading (translated) medieval poetry and prose about knightly adventures, primarily from Chrétien de Troyes and Thomas Malory. This spell is a reminder of how you are supposed to treat others… but it’s also meant to help you remember that you deserve to be treated just as honorably and well as anyone else. You are a whole human person who is deserving of dignity, respect, and safety—and nobody can take that away from you! In other words, this spell is meant to bolster your sense of “do no harm but take no shit.”

The name of the spell, "Chevalerie," is a French word referring to the code of honorable and courteous behavior that medieval knights were supposed to abide by. (There are, of course, several thousand different examples of where and how they did not do so). There are multiple published codes of chivalry from the approximate handful of centuries that compose what we now think of as the Middle Ages of Europe—the earliest that I’m aware of is found in the Song of Roland from the 11th century, and is known to historians as Charlemagne’s Code of Chivalry.

Charlemagne’s Code isn’t the only published code of chivalry, and it also isn’t my favorite because it emphasizes maintaining the Christian faith. A more adaptable code of chivalry comes from Philip the Good, Duke of Burgundy during the 13th century, where he records what he believed to be 12 knightly virtues. (In parentheses are my own interpretations of them for a modern audience).

Faith (keeping true to one’s religious/spiritual beliefs—if you don’t have any religious code to follow, consider “keeping faith” to your promises and always doing what you say you’re going to do)

Charity (helping the downtrodden and less fortunate)

Justice (championing causes that promote a more just world)

Sagacity (being discerning and using good sense to make decisions)

Prudence (using good judgment to manage resources)

Temperance (avoiding excessive consumption of worldly pleasures, but also avoiding deliberate starvation of oneself from the luxuries of life)

Resolution (stick to your morals)

Truth (tell the truth)

Liberality (be generous and liberal in sharing your resources with others)

Diligence (be tenacious in the face of hardship or other setbacks)

Hope (don’t give in to despair)

Valor (be brave)

But without further ado, let's get on to the spell!

Chevalerie

You will need:

an object to serve as a talisman (it could be a coin, a crystal or stone, a playing card, trading card, or divination card, a piece of jewelry, or something else entirely)

a method by which to listen to recorded music

1 or more candles (ideally blue or white, but any color will do in a pinch)

OPTIONAL: a writing implement + something to write upon

Method:

Before you begin the spell itself, cleanse the object you plan to use as a talisman through whatever technique seems best to you. (Personally, I prefer cleansing with candelight, but it's up to you).

Find a comfortable, quiet place to settle yourself with your talisman and other supplies. Light the candle following all applicable fire safety procedures, and then examine the object that will become your talisman. Are you already well-acquainted with this particular object? Is is already dear to you, or is it so new that you have yet to get to know its internal energies?

Play a song that reminds you of what you envision as the pinnacles of knighthood and chivalry in an ideal world.

(A suggestion if you're stumped: "Sophia (Radio Edit)" by The Crüxshadows - find this song on YouTube and/or Spotify)

Ruminate on the concept of chivalry while your song of choice plays. (You can listen to it on repeat, or else make a playlist of different songs). What ideals would your own code of chivalry contain? How could you be more chivalrous to others, and how could they be more chivalrous to you? You deserve to be treated well, no matter your gender identity, your ethnicity, your skin color, your faith, or any other aspect of your being.

Hold your talisman-object and concentrate on it as the song or playlist continues. Imagine a suit of armor covering you and shielding you from harm. Imagine a knight protecting you from all wrongdoing. Imagine yourself as the knight.

When you are ready, shut off the music and extinguish the candle. Your talisman-object has now been charged with the protective ideals of chivalry and knighthood as you deem fit to apply to yourself. Carry it on your person to remind yourself of how you deserve to be treated + how you should treat others who are deserving of chivalrous conduct. If you so desire, journal about your thoughts regarding the ideals of knighthood and humane behavior.

If you like this spell, consider tossing some spare change towards my ko-fi so that I can continue sharing my magical practices!

[side-shuffling-hyperfixations]

It's All in the Name

Summary: Peter One and Peter Two object to some of the quirky nicknames Peter Three has given them.

“I’ll have you know that I take this as a personal affront to my honor,” Peter Three announced with a pout from his perch on the back of the couch. At this angle he could look over Peter One’s shoulder at the search results as he scrolled.

“Your objections have been duly noted and filed,” Peter Two assured him as he leaned in to observe on the other side. “Let’s just go with the top one, Peter: random-name-generator.com.”

“Guys, I’m right here!” Peter Three protested again. “Remember me? Peter Three, your brother who knows and loves you, who actually puts thought and effort and all the care in the world into this! You’d cast me aside for the first 252 million search results?”

“Our public aliases don’t have to be anything special. All we need are names that we like and can remember.”

Peter Three reeled back, hands lashing out to grip the couch cushions as if to steady himself through an earthquake. “Wait, wait, wait, back it up for a second. Are you saying you don’t like my nicknames for you?”

“I’m saying that I could happily live out the rest of my days without hearing you call me ‘Kermit’ again,” Peter Two huffed with pursed lips and a side eye.

“And ‘Petey Pie’ is what Aunt May used to call me when I was, like, four. This is just a hunch but I think I’m a little big for it now.” Peter One’s gaze drifted somewhere soulfully distant for a moment or two. “I-I don’t really hate ‘Bambi’, though. Mr. Stark called me that a couple times and I know he meant it in a nice way.”

“Hey, I do too! It’s a compliment to your pretty doe eyes! While also doubling as a tribute to your, uh, beauty and grace on the ice rink.”

“Wha—Dude, I thought we all agreed we were never gonna bring that up again!”

“As if we don’t have it on video too—” At the fiery flush building in Peter One’s cheeks, Peter Three coughed. “Anyway, Bambi and Kermit are beloved pop culture icons! Considering neither of you technically exist in this universe, I’d say it’s pretty generous of me to put you on their celebrity level. The point is that all of my pet names for you guys have been given out of nothing but love and affection!”

“You didn’t sound very affectionate when you called me a stink bug.”

“That was just once—I don’t even know how you remember that, by the way; your long-term recall was a little sketch at the time—and frankly you deserved it for acting like you hated me, throwing a fit and being a little stinker. Kinda speaks for itself.”

“Okay, but I don’t think I deserved ‘Bugle Boy.’”

“Come on, you couldn’t expect me to pass on it after finding out you still work for Jameson. Maybe if he ever gives you a raise, you can be promoted to Bugle Man.” Peter Two’s wordless stare had him raising his hands to placate. “Okay, well, it references that old song too! That’s a compliment! You can appreciate one of the catchy classics, right? Toot toot toot, toot diddelyada—”

“And then there was the time we were both reduced to ‘Parallel Parkers.’”

“You can’t say it’s not accurate!”

“Mhmm, it’s definitely more accurate than your parking. I guess I can see your reasoning there—but where exactly were you going with ‘Deep Blue’? I’m not a whale.”

“No, no, no, no, no! Ugh, maybe I should’ve gone with ‘Baby Blue’ to make it clear and to the point. Peter One got a nickname as a commentary on his eyes; I thought you deserved one too! Your eyes are standout, they’re lovely! Am I not allowed to appreciate some of my brothers’ best features?”

“I didn’t exactly appreciate it much when I coughed and you called me Gollum.”

Peter Three opened his mouth, then closed it, finally conceding, “…Okay, yeah, that one was rude, I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard! You’re still a kid and you’ve already got such a dad cough! In case you hadn’t heard, I quip as a coping mechanism when I encounter the unexpected.”

“I don’t even know why we’re discussing this right now. It’s not as if any of those are usable aliases.”

“They could be good for mission code names! And phone contacts! Although I already nailed the perfect contact names for both of you, I wouldn’t want to change them now…” The beat of resigned silence that followed had him shrugging with a smile that was equal parts sheepishness and warmth. “Big Bug, Bitty Bug. I’m holding onto those no matter what you say.”

“And no matter what you say, we need secondary identities we can turn to as a precautionary measure, and I cannot—and will not—have Kermit the Frog on an I.D.” As the name generator scrolled through results, Peter Two tutted thoughtfully. “What about…Tobias?”

Peter Three scrunched his nose. “Tobias sounds like a white collar criminal. A mild-mannered, easygoing youth pastor such as thyself would go by Tobey.”

“Tobey. Huh. That works for me.”

“Should we all have ‘T’ names?” Peter One questioned.

“Why? Would you want to go by Tony?”

He only considered it for half a second before ducking his head and sagging further back into the couch cushions with a sigh. “No, I-I don’t think I could ever pull that off. Doesn’t even suit my face, really. I’m more of a…” He cast an uncertain glance at the list. “Tom? But when it’s my universe, I still get first rights to Peter! I-I’d only be Tom if it’s super important, like if we’re undercover or we think my identity—my not-identity would somehow get exposed again.”

Three softened, scooting to squeeze his brother’s nearest shoulder. “We’re careful. That’s not going to happen. And I guess if ‘Peter’ is off the market here, I’ll begrudgingly pick one of these boring, basic names spat out by the system with no heart or character.”

“No, no, don’t trouble yourself. Since your nicknaming technique is clearly superior and you were so inspired by that ‘Bugle Boy’ song,” Two remarked with a prim smile, “why don’t you go by Andrew?”

“Oh, yeah…The Andrews Sisters, Buck Privates. But ‘A’ and ‘T’ are practically on opposite ends of the alphabet! Is this your way of saying we’ve all grown apart? I still love you!”

“Since you’ve already slapped so many nicknames onto us, I think a little turnabout is fair play.”

“Alright, fine. Andrew. I can roll with it.” The twitch of a smirk and the keen gleam in Peter Three’s eye didn’t inspire confidence as he somersaulted back off the couch and sprang onto his feet. “Funny thing about turnabout…It’s all in the name. It has a tendency of coming right back at you, Toblerone.”

[thesinglesjukebox]

MITSKI - MY LOVE MINE ALL MINE

(Mostly) Our Love Ours All Ours

[7.64]

Ian Mathers: Critical support for maybe our greatest current musician, who keeps the really key things in mind. Namely, never releasing a record that crosses the 33-minute mark. Sure, it's more important that this beautifully intense murmur of a song hits me square in the heart in ways that are too personal to articulate here right now, but I don't want to lose sight of the 33-minute thing either. [9]

Andrew Karpan: Sugary and alive, Mitski deserves this, a hit record that will likely be remembered as the millennial answer to "Fade Into You." Or, as Mitski says it best, in a marketing appearance promoting the song for the Genius brand, "to love is truly the best and most beautiful thing I ever did." [10]

Nortey Dowuona: Mitski is apparently a star now. For several years, she made earnest, plaintive songs which were received by a small but willing audience who was delighted to feel the same way as a generational talent who could sincerely speak to them. Then, by Be The Cowboy, she blossomed into a star, something more than a person who made earnest plaintive songs, a massive ball of heat and light who shone so brightly she couldn't see anything anymore. And of course, she tried to return to being at the very least a white dwarf, but supporting a solar system is so tied to the fact of being alive and being an artist that exploding and erasing the ties that bound her could not be done by deleting Twitter. Mitski, just like the sun that spins the planet on which I wrote this word, was not going to implode because it was valid for her health, her ability to live with being a creator of life would return. And eventually she would return to music as well, creating this slight, barely there country ballad about the possessive nature of her love. The sun loves us just as much as Mitski loves you and could exist without us too, but who would behold its beauty? Not Genius, that's who. [9]

Hannah Jocelyn: This song floated by without incident on first listen to The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We - songs like "The Deal" and "I Love Me After You" were more impressive to me, for its reconciliation of Mitski's claustrophobic distortion with her more traditional songwriting. Then it went stratospheric on TikTok then it went stratospheric everywhere. Maybe it's because the unassuming quality made it perfect as background music, maybe because it's two minutes; it might also be really damn good. The qualities that make Mitski so beloved are still there, especially her unpredictable chord progressions and intensity -- she can't go through a love song without a line as theatrical as "nothing in the world belongs to me." Yet there's no self-sabotage or dissonance; it's just plainly beautiful and timeless. [8]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: She's always tended towards the jazzy and dirgelike, but this is Mitski in peak form: the lyric is a sketch exquisitely rendered -- while on Be the Cowboy, she wrote short stories in her stanzas, this is something even more skeletal, a narrative embedded within the slightest of narrative shifts. Patrick Hyland's production work has always worked to accentuate the more subtle accomplishments of Mitski's music; here he outdoes himself, taking what could have been an overly fussy mid-century torch song and allowing it to breathe with a certain country plainspokeness. And yet I do not love "My Love Mine All Mine" quite as much as I want to love it -- it feels like a song that answers all of its own questions from an artist that does her best when she leaves more open to interpretation. [8]

Vikram Joseph: There's really nothing wrong with what Mitski actually gives us here - a tasteful, timeless-sounding ballad, smooth and crystalline with pedal steel melting into the scenery. I think I just miss the angst and dissonance of her older work - even when Modern Mitski sounds sad, she's sad in an oddly arch way which sounds like she's three degrees of separation from the actual sad person. As a pathos-laden expression of dedication, "My Love Mine All Mine" at least works better than "Me And My Husband", a song I will never be able to take seriously, but it does very little for me. [5]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Mitski is better when casual poignancy isn't the point. Her best songs steamroll over you, be they big or small, sad or extra sad. "My Love Mine All Mine" finds a nice Goldilocks zone to secure her a hit, but this lovely ballad is simply just that. [4]

Alfred Soto: I like Mitski when she gets sinister or worried over programmed beats and yards of guitar. This synth-country landscape flattens her like it did Jenny Lewis and Kacey Musgraves. [4]

Katherine St Asaph: The Nashville instrumentation is just decoration. And the TikTok virality is misleading (or not, if you ignore the conventional wisdom that everything that blows up there is memeshit). On Be the Cowboy, Mitski's music began a slow arc toward Jerome Kern balladry and songbook standards, and "My Love Mine All Mine" continues the drift. What she loses in visceral emotion, she gains in haunting lineage. [8]

Tara Hillegeist: "Lynchian" is an adjective applied to excess most often in film, rather than music; Mitski's career provides ample food for thought as to the reasons for such a disparity. The birthing pangs of her current style were anything but as simple, as many of her past musical compositions often aspired to be -- to pack such naive melodies with enough antic heartache that one's ribcage bears the internal bruise is an aspiration that can easily go awry and leave one stranded in the land of the maudlin and mawkish, rather than piercingly insightful, and there's more than a few examples of both littering Mitski's back catalog by now. But to listen to "My Love"'s almost lysergic deployment of a swooning orchestral blush; the way Mitski's voice ripens almost to rotting with that obsessive slow-dance of a chorus ... this is music for the bugs to pick clean an American corpse to. Angelo Badalamenti would be proud. [9]

Tim de Reuse: Dripping with Nashville cash, Mitski's pathos no longer derives from a plucky indie-upstart unpredictability. There is no unsteadiness in her voice anymore; she chews the microphone to sing about the end of her life, wishing only for a symbolic, cosmic victory. Here she plays a ghost, or a corpse, preserved in a glossy, gelatinous mix, and barely able to raise her voice above a casual mutter. It's gorgeous, and also deeply unnerving. I didn't know Mitski could do unnerving. Even in death, she surprises. [8]

Jonathan Bradley: A twilit romantic slow jam that draws cozy darkness as literally from its slow organ drift and sepia pedal steel as it does its actual moonbeam lyric. This is comfortable terrain for Mitski, whom I picture composing every one of her songs while driving along a rural road on a dark night, but there's no shame in repeating yourself if you're good at it. [7]

Brad Shoup: In my household, "My Love Mine All Mine" is most notable for getting Caitlin Rose into the Top 40. She's only here on vocals, but her ethos -- cozy existentialism that uses the pedal steel like a flashlight -- is all over this. This may not be as distinctive as, like, the plaintive noise-pop of "I Don't Smoke." But the sway is still the same. And her impossible requests are just as devastating. [8]

Oliver Maier: Sometimes I don't think I know how to write about music. I think everyone who tries it has probably felt that way at some point, some sense of the inadequacy of their words, the impulse to throw up their hands and say "just listen to it" (complimentary) or "just listen to it" (derogatory), because what do you say about a song that it doesn't say itself? What an extraordinary act of arrogance to attach yourself to something someone made and try to explain it to anyone, however careful or empathetic you are in doing so, however many times you qualify your opinion. I imagine this anxiety probably lurks in some form, in some place, inside everyone who has tried to do this stupid, circuitous, fucking frustrating thing. People like to talk about things, though. It feels good to do, like a magic bridge that you can feel forming between yourself and someone else when they articulate something that was inside you too. I listened to this song non-stop for a week when it came out, and I barely know what to say about it. I think it's wonderful. Just listen to it. I feel very emotional thinking about Mitski and the path of her career in a way that makes me a bit embarrassed. I feel very emotional hearing her sing about the fundamental, indissoluble value of a feeling that she has, only holding it, not needing to clutch or cradle it, letting its light seep out from between her fingers. I find it so moving to hear someone who has -- largely unwillingly, it must be said -- become a symbol of self-pity and depressive angst sing with such easy generosity towards themselves. It's hard when you are so used to seeing a magic bridge between yourself and another person collapse, or perhaps when you rarely see it built at all, to reserve some dignity for the silly, hopeful part of yourself that keeps seeking out planning permission. Just listen to it. What an extraordinary act of arrogance to attach yourself to another person and think they could see you and think about you the way that you do them. Sometimes I don't think I know how to be in love. I'm going to keep trying anyway. [10]

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