#this story is basically just why I even decided on that ship name for them

[elvenbeard]

To Bad Decisions

Notes: aka the "I love you"-game-of-chicken story inspired by this otp ask game the other week! @wanderingaldecaldo here you go xD First I wanted this to be just light-hearted fluff and fun, but then the angst grabbed me and it got looong, hence to be continued under the readmore!

Cyberpunk 2077 drabble, Kerry Eurodyne x V, set a few months post-ending, rated M for the opening paragraph mostly XD

V struggles with putting his feelings into words, scared that Kerry might be catching on - or is he potentially struggling with the same thing? No, that can't be, right?

The first time V almost said it out loud would have been at one of the worst moments possible to do so: pinned down on their bed, on his stomach, Kerry fucking him so good his head was spinning, barely able to even think a coherent sentence.

“I - …” he gasped, but caught his breath just in time, closed his eyes, and buried his burning face in the heavenly cold pillow.

“You…?” Kerry purred into his ear, out of breath as well, and that alone almost sent him over the edge. He didn’t recall what he ended up saying, a jumbled mess of words and noises… but thankfully not the three originally on his mind.

It was silly, really. Firstly, that he struggled so much with just expressing what he felt, and secondly, trying to find the perfect moment to do so when such a thing would never exist. Or well, maybe perfect moments did exist, but he always only seemed to recognize them once they were gone. The morning after the yacht trip, when they’d woken up together in Vs bed, warm and safe and comfortable, just peacefully existing side by side… Kerry blinking at him through tousled hair, smiling softly… that had been a perfect moment, it would have felt right. But it also would have been way too soon. They’d known each other for how long, two weeks maybe? Three if he counted the whole mess surrounding the organization of the SAMURAI reunion, but that had been mostly Johnny doing the talking, not himself. At that time, V had still feared his feelings could have been just brought on by Johnny actually, and whatever kind of thing that had been going on between him and Kerry a long, long time ago… that with Johnny the butterflies and their connection would also disappear, sooner or later. That it was not right to lead Kerry on, should it eventually happen, no matter how much he’d already liked him on that one perfect morning, on that beach, on that balcony…

But then his feelings didn’t fade. Things were different now, but better than V could have ever dreamed of. Kerry made him happy in a way he hadn’t deemed possible anymore, after all that had happened, after so many past disappointments. And yet, or maybe because of that, he couldn’t silence the nagging voice in his head – his own this time – that for whatever absurd reason Kerry didn’t feel the same. That by saying what he felt out loud, he’d ruin everything, again, for both of them.

“Remind me, what’s the plan for today again?” Kerry yawned as they sat in the kitchen the next morning, the scent of freshly brewed coffee and scrambled eggs still hanging in the air.

“That one client I told you about… Cancelled last minute because “something important” came up. Again,” V muttered, scrolling through the sheer never-ending list of appointments on his holo.

Kerry scoffed.

“Told ya. It’s never gonna happen. This is what, the fourth time he’s postponed?”

“Guess you’re always right after all,” V teased and got up to put their empty plates and mugs in the dishwasher.

“’Course I am,” Kerry said; after a short pause he added “But it’s his loss, not yours.”

“True,” V said, “And it also means I’ll have an hour or two of spare time to fill around three. Could swing by the studio, if you want?”

He didn’t reply for a few moments, causing V to look up from the dishwasher. Kerry sat leaned on the counter, his chin resting on his hand, and he stared at him with an expression he couldn’t quite figure out.

“I… would love that,” he then said with a smile, but for a split-second V thought he was going to say something else, his heart beating harder and faster instantly.

“Bring some coffee and bagels maybe?” Kerry added with a wink and V laughed.

“Sure thing.”

Maybe it was not even necessary to say anything out loud. Never touch a running system. Why accidentally ruin something that was working out so well, against all odds? Living with Kerry felt so easy, so natural. Of course, it wasn’t always smooth sailing. They’d had their struggles and fights over the silliest and also the most serious things. But there was never malice, and they were constantly working on their communication, stating their needs, their wishes, and getting to know each other’s boundaries. Kerry was a lot more in touch with his emotions and feelings than V though. Maybe that was something that just came naturally with age and life experience. Or it was just how he’d always been like, not afraid to state his mind. V had always struggled with showing or even allowing feelings. Surprisingly, Kerry was still just as good as him, maybe even better, at masking his real intentions around people whom they did not concern – be it managers, medias, even fans and the like. A long-honed craft for sure, his badass, laidback rockerboy persona, and essential to surviving in the corporate-run world the music industry was. V knew from his own experience only too well that everything you said, every hint of weakness you showed, would be exploited and used against you mercilessly and shamelessly – for money, for power, for fame.

When they were alone though, or around their closest friends, Kerry was so much softer around the edges… carried his heart on his sleeve, really. Or so V had thought.

“Alright, gotta bounce,” V yelled, grabbing his sunglasses from the counter before rushing to lean over the sofa’s backrest to give Kerry a quick peck on the cheek, “I - …”

Fuck.

“I… will give you a call if anything unexpected comes up.”

Kerry looked up from his guitar, one eyebrow slightly raised.

“Alright, come back safe,” he then said, reaching up to grab his collar and pull him back in for a proper kiss.

“’Cause you know, I…” he paused as their lips parted, again causing V’s breath to hitch for a moment, “I still need you.”

He smiled that heart-melting smile he was so good at, and V was half-tempted to call the client and tell her he’d run late, or just cancel altogether. Reluctantly he pulled away and walked out the door.

In the elevator he kept wondering though if “I still need you” was really what Kerry had been meaning to say.

Over the course of the following week, V kept noticing more and more of these little moments, caught himself almost slipping up a lot more often. At first he wondered if Kerry was as aware of it as himself. So many “I… hope you’ll have a good day”s, “I – will miss you”s, “I… I’ll talk to you later”s couldn’t just be flying past him. The longer it continued on, the more he wondered if maybe, just maybe… Kerry was playing along on purpose? Or was he also avoiding just to say the words, out of fear to mess things up between them? He couldn’t quite believe either option. Maybe he just ignored it, to not make it even weirder, or maybe it was not as obvious as V thought.

By the end of the week, V asked himself, did it actually matter? That they said it, if and when they said it, who’d be the one to say it first, if at all? Maybe he was overthinking it. He knew he loved Kerry, more than he’d loved anyone before. And he did feel loved by him just as much. Sure, it would be nice to hear it out loud, now and then, but maybe actions did speak louder than words. Little gestures, touches, just being near each other, picking the other up when he was feeling down, being encouraging, or sometimes also just silly. Making commitments, promises, and keeping them. Daring to plan for a future neither of them had thought they’d get, together. It was not important to say it when they lived it, is what V decided for himself eventually. Why ruin something, maybe not perfect, but pretty fucking close to it, with a bunch of words so loaded with bad memories and regrets for both of them?

“I… have an itch for new ink,” Kerry said one night at the villa, where they regularly hid away from the noise and the stress of the city for a few days. They had settled down on the sofa together, Kerry lying on his back, his head on V’s lap, Nibbles dozing by his feet. V was running his fingers through Kerry’s hair absentmindedly as they’d been watching a new show on TV. It didn’t turn out to be as good as they’d hoped for though, so at this point it had devolved into background noise to their conversation.

“Where? And what?” V asked, and Kerry gestured across the left side of his chest.

“To compliment the one on the right, kinda,” he said, “But I’m not sure if I’d wanna to go for a traditional design, too, or something else.”

“Well, you have a traditional and a neotraditional sleeve each,” V said, “Could go with something neo for that side?”

Kerry hummed.

“Good point…” he said, “Ooor… something a bit smaller first maybe? After all, I have some space left here.”

He lifted his left arm, twisted his wrist around.

“But I’m even more clueless about that. I guess it’s really just an itch still that might pass…”

“I know the feeling,” V chuckled. After a short pause he asked, “Any tats that you ever regretted getting?”

“Actually… no,” Kerry said surprisingly fast, “I’ve lived long enough to collect all sorts of regrets, but that’s thankfully none of them. Although, this part here…” – he pointed to the crook of his left arm – “That was a fucking bitch to endure. No machine, the ink literally hammered in by hand, for hours. The. Fucking. Worst.”

V chuckled.

“It’s fucking preem-looking though,” he said.

“Beauty knows no pain or what?” Kerry snorted.

“No, not that even,” V said, “More like… it’s worth it to endure the pain sometimes, for the outcome?”

Kerry hummed approvingly, smiling up at V.

“That’s pretty much the tradition. One of the many at least, a coming-of-age ritual. You’re old enough to endure this pain, you’re old enough to endure all other pain life might be throwing at ya at a certain point.”

“I keep learning new things with you,” V smiled.

Kerry shuffled around, then sat up and stretched before scooching a little closer to V again, putting his left arm around him. V’s heart did a silly little bounce in his chest, causing the voice in his head (that sometimes still eerily sounded like Johnny) to say, “What are you, twelve?”. But simultaneously he hoped these little things his body did would never stop happening, no matter how many months… no, years, they’d be getting together. Positive thinking, he needed to remind himself.

“Okay, that was my answer to the regrets-game for today,” Kerry said, “Your turn: what’s the decision you’ve made that you regret the most, looking back?”

“Shit… lemme think a moment,” V sighed, slumping against the backrest and into Kerry’s embrace.

A few things came to mind immediately. Not leaving his abusive home sooner, as a teen… but then he might not have ever met Jackie. Everything would have gone down completely different. Letting Jenkins rope him into working for Arasaka, after thinking he’d left that world behind for good? But he’d be so much more clueless, maybe even careless about how to survive in this corporate-controlled world. He’d be a lot worse at what he was doing now… if he’d ever even gotten this far without what he learned during his time at Counterintel. Maybe one of his many failed past relationships – but he could think of at least one reason for each of them that had let him grow as a person or learn something integral about what he wanted and needed in a long-term partner. The closest he came to almost picking as his biggest regret so far was not taking Evelyn’s offer of screwing over Dex – but at the time there was no way for him to have known how this would all play out. In hindsight, Evelyn hadn’t been telling him the full truth, so his intuition hadn’t failed him completely. If he could change one thing, he would have wished for Jackie not to die that day. But by now he had accepted that it had never been in his power, it hadn’t been his fault… a hard thing to unlearn, blaming himself. Had Jackie not died though – and for a moment he hated himself for the thought – the Relic would have gone to Brigitte. Had Jackie not got hit by that bullet, V’d likely never heard of Johnny Silverhand or SAMURAI besides the occasional radio show…

“Can I be super cringe for a moment?” he eventually asked, turning his head to a snickering Kerry.

“You’ve let me get away with so much cringe already, only fair if I return the favor,” he said.

V took a deep breath, looking down on his hands for a moment, circling his personal link port with his right thumb. Then he blinked back up at Kerry.

“I don’t regret any of my decisions, even the bad ones,” he said, “Because if the summary of all my bad decision means I’m ending up here with you, in this moment… I’d gladly make all the same mistakes again.”

Kerry stared at him, not wide-eyed or anything, but intensely. The tiniest noise escaped his mouth, less than a sigh, but he said nothing. Then, very slowly, his lips curled into a smile. V half expected a snarky remark, but instead Kerry pulled him a little closer and with his free hand took V’s, calloused fingers intertwining with his. He looked away for a moment, and V tried to read his expression, scanning for any hints to give him at least an idea of what was going through his head, if he’d overstepped, said something wrong…

“It’s weird…” Kerry then quietly said, looking at him again, eyes glistening slightly, almost sad, but not quite, “… how you keep managing to put into words what I can’t seem to. God knows I’ve fucked up along the way, over and over again. But if any of that hadn’t happened, who knows if we’d ever even met.”

V smiled, sighing with relief. Kerry leaned over, resting his head on V’s shoulder.

“I know, it’s still scary to think of the future, to plan ahead too far,” he said quietly, “But no matter what happens tomorrow, or in a week, a month, a year… I hope you know that you’re gonna be stuck with me. I… hope you know that… that I love you.”

V couldn’t suppress a gasp, to his own surprise. Kerry still held his hand, his other arm loosely around his waist, when he shifted again to see his face. He looked concerned almost, questioning, worried, but trying to keep up his smile, lips shaking a little. He sat up a bit further, inching away just slightly, and V realized how he’d just been staring at him in shock for the last few moments of silence.

“I… uh, I mean,” Kerry mumbled, voice almost turning frantic now, as if he’d also just realized what he’d said.

V’s hand shot up to grab Kerry’s face, to pull him back, to reassure him. Before he really knew what he was doing he pressed his lips on his, kissed him over and over again, held him close, did not ever want to let him go.

“I love you, too,” he gasped between urgent kisses, and simultaneously it was as if he was able to breathe freely again, for the first time in a long time, “So much. I love you so much.”

“Vince,” Kerry panted, and only with some mild force managed to get him to stop for a moment. V realized how much he was shaking first, and then that he was crying, for some reason. The last time he’d cried was the night he’d stumbled out of Arasaka Tower, more dead than alive. Shit, why now?

“It’s all good, you gonk,” Kerry said softly, cupping his face, wiping his tears away. The same way he’d done that awful, awful night.

“It’s all good,” Kerry repeated, then put his arms back around him, pulling him in, and they just sat there, holding each other, reassuring each other, gently swaying, for minutes that seemed to last hours, until V had calmed down again. Nibbles was quietly snoring, the TV babbling endlessly on low volume, and soft rain pattered against the large windows, Night City’s millions of lights a distant, colourful blur.

 “Fuck, I was so scared for a moment that I’d ruined it all…” Kerry eventually said, and V laughed weakly, nose stuffy and throat still tight.

“You were scared? I was scared shitless to say it too soon, or in the wrong moment… I kept almost slipping up… just saying that out loud now, how stupid.”

“Well, you’re welcome then,” Kerry chuckled, “And I was wondering if I was imagining things or if you really just tried your hardest not to say it.”

“We’re both fucking gonks…” V concluded, and Kerry laughed. They slowly moved apart just enough to be able to look at the other again, still holding on.

“Perfect match then, hm?” Kerry smiled with his head slightly tilted, his gorgeous eyes glittering in the lights of the city, “Now we just have to start being less scared of making bad decisions.”

V smiled back at Kerry, vowing to make sure to tell him just how much he loved him at every opportunity from now on.

“Yes,” he said, “To bad decisions.”

“To bad decisions!”

[hollowed-theory-hall]

what's the one harry potter pairing u like that u mentioned in the tags of your hinny post?

Anonymous: Can I ask who that minor character you ship with Harry is? For some absurd reason my mind jumped to Stan Shunpike lol but it's probably not him.... Or is it?

Okay, so this is kind of a funny story. Like, my pipeline through hp pairings was a weird one. Like, I used to read a lot of Harry pairings, still do on occasion (some make more sense than others). None of them were ones I would point at and say: "that should've happened in the books"

One day, I was innocently writing a fic (canon divergence of GoF), and it was just for me, for funnsies, never posted it anywhere and not planning to. And I planned to pair Harry with someone there (honestly, I don't remember who because I didn't write the plan down) but when writing, Harry ended up with a different character. And it was so strange to me because that never happened.

Like, how do you write a ship accidentally?

But I did. I wrote Harry into a ship by accident. So I went back to the books to try and figure out why the hell would my subconscious decide that's the way to go.

I'll also preface it by all this being my subjective opinion and I do read other Harry ships in fics, this one just quickly became my favorite to write (and the only one I write). Also, I don't actually think this is a pairing that should've happened in the books, it's place is in fic and that's where I like it.

So, the character I accidentally shipped with Harry is... *drumroll*

Stan Shunpike!

Not really, it's:

Theodore Nott

Now, you might look at the name and go: "Who the fuck is that?"

And you'll be correct. Theo has 0 speaking lines in the entire book series. His name appears twice. He, himself, as a person, only appeared on page, like, 3 times in the background. The scene that gives the most information about him is other characters talking about him. He isn't even present.

That being said, I'm very good at extrapolating a lot of information from very little evidence. So allow me, to walk you through who is Theodore Nott and why I ship him with Harry.

Basic Information

So, let's start with the most basic overview before I pull out the quotes and go any deeper.

We know Theo is a Slytherin student in Harry's year. So he likely shares a dorm with Draco, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle.

Theo's father is both at the graveyard at the end of GoF and in the Department of Mysteries at the end of OotP, so we know he is a Death Eater. We also know Thoe's father was one of the first and closest Death Eaters to Voldemort, who waited for him during his interview with Dumbledore in 1967:

“Then if I were to go to the Hog’s Head tonight, I would not find a group of them — Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov — awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed...”

(HBP, page 444)

We also know the Nott family is "as pure-blooded as the Malfoys" according to JKR in an interview. We also know Theo's great-grandfather (maybe? the family relation isn't clear), Cantankerus Nott, is suspected to be the one who wrote the Pure-Blood Dictionary, the book that coined the term "Sacred 28" and made that list (which the Nott family are on).

The name Nott is potentially to be derived from the name Nótt, which is the personification of the night in Norse Mythology. So it has been theorized the Nott family have a Nordic origin. Possible, but it doesn't really matter for this post.

What does, is that he comes from a dark, Death Eater, blood-purist family similar to the Malfoys. Even so, Theo never took the Dark Mark and never joined Voldemort in the books.

Now, that we have the basic information out of the way, let's look at Theodore as a person.

All the details I could gather from the books

Alright, now we get to the fun part. That is, me going through all the relevant scenes that mention Theodore Nott and actually creating a character psychoanalysis out of basically nothing.

So, the quotes aren't organized in a particular order. I'm just going to explain Theo and then explain why all this makes me ship him with Harry.

“Well, I pity Slughorn’s taste. Maybe he’s going a bit senile. Shame, my father always said he was a good wizard in his day. My father used to be a bit of a favorite of his. Slughorn probably hasn’t heard I’m on the train, or —” “I wouldn’t bank on an invitation,” said Zabini. “He asked me about Nott’s father when I first arrived. They used to be old friends, apparently, but when he heard he’d been caught at the Ministry he didn’t look happy, and Nott didn’t get an invitation, did he? I don’t think Slughorn’s interested in Death Eaters.” Malfoy looked angry, but forced out a singularly humorless laugh.

(HBP, page 150)

This is a part of the conversation between Draco, Pansy, and Blaise, Harry overhears when he is hiding in their compartment at the beginning of HBP. I have a few things to note regarding this scene.

Firstly, throughout this conversation, Pansy, Blaise, and Draco all call each other by their first name. This shows closeness, they are all friendly and familiar enough to use their first names with each other. Theo, though, is referred to as "Nott" by all three in the compartment.

He doesn't actually sit in their compartment which is in itself a sign about how he isn't really friendly with Draco's group. Considering the group is most of his year from his house, Theo is likely very lonely, and it will be apparent from other scenes I bring up later.

Secondly, Theo's father is in Azkaban. We know Draco is bothered about his own father's predicament. He mentions it to Harry and bothers him over it, Theo doesn't though. Theo doesn't seem to be bothered by Harry or his father's incarceration.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that the relationship between Theo and his father is not a good one.

(I know some fics like to have Lucius be abusive towards Draco, for some reason. But the books really don't back this up. Lucius loves Draco and Draco adores his father)

Theo, though, Theo seems to be the one with a very strained relationship with his father. Strained enough that he isn't bothered the man is in Azkaban. What I'm saying is that Theo's father likely abuses or mistreats him in some capacity.

If anything more was needed to complete Harry’s happiness, it was Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle’s reactions. He saw them with their heads together later that afternoon in the library, together with a weedy-looking boy Hermione whispered was called Theodore Nott. They looked around at Harry as he browsed the shelves for the book he needed on Partial Vanishment, and Goyle cracked his knuckles threateningly and Malfoy whispered something undoubtedly malevolent to Crabbe. Harry knew perfectly well why they were acting like this: He had named all of their fathers as Death Eaters

(OotP, page 583)

This is a scene at the end of OotP after Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Theo's fathers were caught at the ministry and sent to Azkaban because they are Death Eaters. There are a few important notes about this scene.

The first, Hermione knows Theo, while Harry and Ron don't really. This means she likely knows him from the classes she takes and Harry and Ron don't — Arithmancy and/or Ancient Runes.

The second, he is sitting with other Death Eater children, but I don't think it's by choice. I mentioned in the previous quote how he isn't close to Draco and his crew. He sits with them here mostly because he doesn't have another choice. Theo doesn't seem to really have any friends, so he sits with the closest people he has to friends — kids he has known since he was young because their fathers were in the same circle.

The other note about this is that Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco are all mentioned as being threatening and malicious towards Harry because they don't like that their fathers are in Azkaban. Theo, though, Theo doesn't threaten Harry, he isn't part of their whisperings. As I mentioned above, he's likely happy his father is in Azkaban.

A pair of blank, white, shining eyes were growing larger through the gloom and a moment later the dragonish face, neck, and then skeletal body of a great, black, winged horse emerged from the darkness. It looked around at the class for a few seconds, swishing its long black tail, then bowed its head and began to tear flesh from the dead cow with its pointed fangs. A great wave of relief broke over Harry. Here at last was proof that he had not imagined these creatures, that they were real: Hagrid knew about them too. He looked eagerly at Ron, but Ron was still staring around into the trees and after a few seconds he whispered, “Why doesn’t Hagrid call again?” Most of the rest of the class were wearing expressions as confused and nervously expectant as Ron’s and were still gazing everywhere but at the horse standing feet from them. There were only two other people who seemed to be able to see them: a stringy Slytherin boy standing just behind Goyle was watching the horse eating with an expression of great distaste on his face, and Neville, whose eyes were following the swishing progress of the long black tail.

(OotP, page 445)

“The only people who can see thestrals,” she said, “are people who have seen death.”

(OotP, page 446)

The stringy Slytherin boy mentioned here is Theo. This scene proves that:

He takes Care of Magical Creatures

He saw someone die

Let's explore the second one for a moment. The fact Theo can see Thestrals means he watched someone die and was old enough to comprehend what he was seeing. We also know Theo's mother is dead. So it's likely the person he watched die was his mother.

I also want to draw attention to Theo's distaste towards Thestrals. He could likely see them carrying the carriages every year since 2nd year, it's not his first time seeing them. But it doesn't stop his displeasure with their sight from showing. Which says something about him. It means he likely recalls his mother and her death whenever he looks at the Thestrals. and these are memories Theo rather not experience.

We don't know how his mother died, but I'd hazard a guess it wasn't natural. After all, wizards have long life spans, they are more durable to illness and injury, and don't usually die from accidents unless very extreme or magical. And there was no epidemic of dragonpox (a disease that does tend to kill wizards) in the time since 1980 and the books. So, she was more likely killed at some point between 1985(ish) and 1991.

“No, I don’t think so, sir. I’m Muggle-born, you see.” Harry saw Malfoy lean close to Nott and whisper something; both of them sniggered, but Slughorn showed no dismay; on the contrary, he beamed and looked from Hermione to Harry, who was sitting next to her.

(HBP, pages 185-186)

First, Theo is an O student in potions since he is in the potions NEWT class, and was probably meant to be there even if Snape was the teacher.

Second, again, Theo doesn't really have friends. He sits next to Draco as the only other Slytherin in the class. Also, they share the circumstances of being sons of Death Eaters currently in Azkaban. Although both of them seem to deal with it quite differently.

Third, Theo joins Draco in making fun of Hermione's blood status, but he does not initiate it. Considering the environment he was raised in and is in, it makes sense he would make fun of it. Whether he's a blood-purist or not, he would want to keep his image considering he doesn't have many allies. Hanging out with Draco is survival, not friendship. They aren't even on a first-name basis with each other.

“Amortentia doesn’t really create love, of course. It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love. No, this will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. It is probably the most dangerous and powerful potion in this room — oh yes,” he said, nodding gravely at Malfoy and Nott, both of whom were smirking skeptically. “When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love. . . .

(HBP, page 186)

The final quote I have about Theo is from the same potions class as above. Both he and Draco are portrayed here as underestimating amortentia and its potential damage. It makes sense for their upbringing in the Wizarding World, which has no real laws or regulations regarding love potions that are seen as harmless fun more often than not.

I'll add Theo likely didn't witness a healthy romantic relationship. Considering his father is a Death Eater who is likely abusive and may or may not have killed his mother. With this as his reference to a marriage, it's clear why he'd look down on love and love potions.

Why I think Theo and Harry have potential

Okay, so now that we know who Theodore Nott is, let's talk about why I ship him with Harry.

I think Harry, in general, would get along best with a clever partner with the ability to be ruthless (Slytherins or Ron fall into this category). Because Harry isn't some golden savior; he casts unforgivables, and is very willing to poison Umbridge or Crocio Snape if he could get away with it. He needs a partner that won't be horrified by these thoughts.

Also, Theo literally never speaks on page. Even when spoken to, his reactions are silent. I think this quiet and no need to talk, the ability to be comfortable in silence, is something that would be comfortable for Harry. Harry in the books finds himself annoyed with Ron and Hermione's constant banter on occasion, so I think it fits well.

Theo would also be comfortable around Harry without a need to play a certain part. Because Harry wouldn't care about that. He would honestly rather Theo forgo the pure-blood Slytherin act.

I feel like Harry and Theo, have a good potential to understand each other. Theo lost his mother and likely experiences abuse from his father. It makes them very likely to trauma bond over their crap life and shared experience. Two out of three only ones who could see the Thestrals in the entire class.

The other thing I feel they could connect over is being lonely. Harry spent all his childhood until Hogwarts basically being on his own. Theo stayed on his own. Draco at least has his parents, he has other students he's closer to, not that he shares everything with them, but he has some support network. Theo has none. And this is something Harry knows well.

Theo, I think, wouldn't expect anything specific from Harry. He doesn't even interact with him, not to mock him, and not to idolize him, he doesn't care at all. And we know how much Harry appreciates being thought of as Harry and not as the Boy-Who-Lived. Theo would allow Harry to be himself without some mold he wants him to fit in.

The fact Theo never becomes a Death Eater, even though he was in Draco's year and his father was a Death Eater before Lucius (and in better standing than Lucius with Voldemort) is so interesting. It's somewhat surprising Theo wasn't marked. It means he didn't want to be. It means that Theo Nott didn't want to torture and kill muggleborns or blood traitors, or anyone really. And he didn't want to swear his allegiance to Voldemort. This is just a fascinating fact to me and something I enjoy considering. What life experience made him come to that conclusion? Was it just his dislike of his father that pushed him away? Could he have been another Sirius Black (Gryffindor in a Slytherin family) under slightly different circumstances? I mean, Voldemort likely wouldn't force him to become a Death Eater, but would his father? I don't know what at all went down there, but I like that potential story.

We also know he wasn't part of Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad, even though some minor Slytherins were mentioned to be part of it. He just seems to be an actually decent guy (I don't care what Cursed Child says about him, I know he's there but I avoided almost anything to do with Cursed Child so I barely know the plot).

Finally, this is a character Harry doesn't have as much drama to get over with. Yes, sometimes I want to read overcoming drama between characters before it becomes a romance, but sometimes I want something chiller than that. And Theo is a really chill, safe, Slytherin option for Harry.

[theyapper0]

THE HEAVEN CAST!!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!!!

So first off, we got a redesign for the Exorcist Angel armor. I wanted to keep the colors light so they stand out when in Hell. I was also hugely inspired by Crusades armor, since the Crusades fought for religious territory, I thought taking inspo from there made sense.

Then we have Lute, Emily, Sera and Adam's designs. I'll explain it all under the cut if you're interested!!!

LUTE!!!!!!!!!! Sorry guys but she's basically a different character with the same name at this point

So I think that Lute was like a mentor figure to Vaggie, she was the closest thing Vaggie had to a (sorta) mom but it's defiantly like a student-master relationship.

I think that Vaggie trusted and cared for Lute deeply, she devoted all her time and energy into training in order to make not only Heaven better, but to make Lute proud. Lute was a HUGE driving force Vaggie's martyr complex.

But they were close!!!! The care wasn't just once sided, I think Lute did love Vaggie. I think they both care for each other SO much, that's why it will hurt SO MUCH when it's LUTE as the one to de-wing and banish Vaggie. She LOVED her, she TRUSTED HER!!!!!

Trust that I will be delving deeper into this in the future ✊✊✊

So Emily and Sera's designs and roles in the story are pretty much the same, I liked them in canon! They were fun and offered an interesting addition to the show!!!!

The main thing I chose to change was basically their hair and skin color tbh. I understand what the show was TRYING to do, w the fact that they're supposed to be black (and apparently those are supposed to be dreads in Sera????) but.......... It wasn't good.

With their canon skin color, I know a lot of angels have gray skin but to me, it looked like the designers didn't know whether to make Sera and Emily (especially Sera) gray or flesh colored, which then resulted in them trying to meet it in the middle and left us with this,,,, really ashy looking black skin in some shots which I didn't like.

I decided to just make them a darker gray so they can both be seen as black and also keep consistent with angels having gray skin :)

ALSO THAT ONE DOODLE WITH EMILY LOOKING AT CHAGGIE, I PROMISEEEEEE THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE EITHER OF THEM LIKE THAT, I JUST DID IT TO BE FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I think the ship is cute but personally, it's not for me ^^)

And finally..... ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!

So like Lute, Adam is basically a completely different character with that same name just slapped on.

I REALLY didn't like him in the show to be honest. I think we was an enjoyable character at times but he's totally like my second to last fav character (with my LEAST favorite being Lucifer LOL). I think it was an interesting take on Adam definitely!! To see him so cocky and full of himself bc of his title but....... It was just very...... Viziepop with the whole "original dick" thing......

Adam is the literal FATHER of humanity!!!? He is EVERYONE'S FATHER!!!!!! I don't understand the point of making him mean aside from the fact that he's supposed to be an opposing force in the show, but even then, just because he's the opposing force, doesn't mean he's gotta be a huge jerk!!!!!

I think it could be more interesting and add more nuisance to the story is Adam WAS this sweet, caring guy who, like the protagonists, is only doing what he thinks is right!

I'll delve more into Adam in my next post BUT everything he does is out of his trust in God and the Seraphims, he trusts them wholeheartedly and despite the fact that the Sinners of Hell were once his children too, he does what he must because his flaw isn't that he's egotistical or an asshole, it's that he cares and trusts with his entire being.

He's also best friends with Kris Kringle

[verycharismaticdragon]

Currently reading a Korean webnovel instead of Chinese ones and this is making me conceptualize something, let’s see if I can put it in words…

My musings started with realizing that I’ve become very used to this cnovels thing where the main pairing is literally stated in the summary. Not the case for the k-novel I’m reading, and therefore I’m experiencing Pain and Suffering, — torn between my every instinct screaming that the author is setting up the OT3 endgame, and trying to lower my expectations to avoid disappointment. (And the novel is ongoing so I can’t even get spoilers for the ending :) girl help.)

As you may’ve guessed, I found myself strongly preferring the Chinese variant; but as to why exactly it was so important for my enjoyment to know the main couple… it took me a bit to figure out.

I mean, it’s not like I’m reading exclusively for romance, okay? Fannish activity-wise, sure, I tend to get fixated on ships (though even then, not all the time), but when it comes to reading (or any media intake, really), it’s not necessarily what I’m most interested in. Among my beloved titles, there are many where there’s no canon or fanon couple I'm attached to — and more than a few where there’s a canon couple that I neither love nor hate, just accept. So why did I get so attached to the concept of being, essentially, spoiled the endgame couple beforehand?

The key word that made it click was: promise. After all, it’s not like knowing the names of the characters that get together tells me anything about if they will be interesting or boring together, if they will be good for each other or make me scream “break up!” a million times. But it is a solid promise that these two people ARE gonna be a couple. 

And thinking about the word promise reminded me of discussions on plot twists that I’ve seen on here, about what makes a good plot twist and what makes a bad one — specifically, the phrase “narrative promise” that someone came up with. Basically, narrative promise is in the set up and the build up. If the plot twist betrays the narrative promise, it will not work, and it will be hated by the audience, who’ll feel like their emotional investment into the story was mocked.

The thing about the narrative promise, and why this term stuck with me, is that it’s actually applicable more broadly than just for shock-factor plot twists. For example: what is queerbaiting, if not betraying the narrative promise that the two characters are gonna be together? The fans see the narrative promise — the set up and the build up that would be unequivocally romantic for a het couple — and expect it to be fulfilled; only to be called delusional by the very creators that gave them this expectation. 

And this brings me to the next point: the catch of the “narrative promise” is that it’s never a guarantee. You can be completely sure the author is setting up X, only for them to turn around and do something completely different. (Possibly while calling you a little bitch for having the stupidity to invest your feelings into their creation, too.) After a while, a fan learns to manage their expectations. To not bet too much on anything, even if it feels like there’s no other way it can go. To wait until the end of the season or the last chapter before allowing themselves to get attached; to hold back on deciding whether something is good or not, lest they hype up something they will want to bury and forget later.

And this is where we circle back to c-novels, and to spoiling the main couple in the summary. Except I hesitate to call it “spoiling” because, as discussed, it actually heightens my enjoyment. For a simple reason: this practice takes the narrative promise from its nebulous, uncertain status to something concrete and real. Only for this one aspect and with the minimal-est amount of information possible, but still. That’s one thing I don’t have to guess about or doubt myself on (am I seeing things? is there a heterosexual explanation another way to read this? will the author simply kill off one of the characters before the end so that they don’t have to decide whether to make them explicitly queer?), and one thing I can count on (whatever else happens in the plot, I’ll still have this). It’s easy to invest emotionally into those characters and their relationship, when you have an assurance of their happy ending.

Ofc, I’m not saying that I don’t invest emotionally into relationships or characters other than the main CP — just that it is easier. And I would even say having this one(1) hard promise makes it easier to invest into other elements of the work, too, as it makes for a sort of safety net even if something else is disappointing or painful. 

Like, say you are invested in one couple with great chemistry and one side character. In case of a pre-stated ship, even if the side character dies, at least you still have the canon couple. So it’s not like all of your emotional connection to the book is lost, and you can probably bear with the loss of that character by writing everybody lives AU or something. But if the side character dies AND the couple you were invested in gets broken up or killed off or straight-married with other ppl… then doesn’t that make the entire thing into one massive disappointment? to the point that you might even regret picking up the book that made you care only to slap you in the face?.. 

So yeah, having even just one ship guaranteed is very comforting. And then I thought, well, doesn’t this apply to another type of fiction that I’m very familiar with?

Fanfiction?

Which, since very early on, has adopted the practice of putting the endgame ship in the header of the fic. And which, probably not coincidentally, is often a response to a broken (or at the very least not brought to its logical conclusion) narrative promise. And which always felt uniquely easy to read for me… 

See, prior to getting on this little thought train, I always assumed the ease was due to pre-existing familiarity with canon. You know, not having to learn the entire new setting, already having attachment to the characters… But now that I’ve connected these dots, I thought about times I read fics for fandoms I wasn’t familiar with, and originals formatted as fics — and really, wasn’t it always about the narrative promise made solid? 

Esp with how fics make it even broader than cnovels, by having extensive tags and ratings and such. Getting into a fic, you have a pretty clear idea of what may or may not happen in the story, even if you don’t know what exactly will happen or how. And a fic can fail to live up to the premise set up by ship/rating/tags — but not completely turn its back on it. 

(Well, normally. But in those exceptional cases where tags are misleading, at least you have something to point to when saying, “this is not what I was promised”. The ficwriter can hardly claim they don't understand why you expected [ship] to happen when they personally tagged their work as containing that ship — unlike the traditional media creators, who can always play the "you were totally misunderstanding my intentions the entire time" card.)

And having a solid promise like this, it turns out, takes lotsa pressure off starting a New Unfamiliar thing. I do, in fact, trust like that! So it’s no wonder that there were periods in my life when I would only consume fanfiction, because it was so much easier than extending trust to new titles. And it’s no wonder that what brought me back to being an avid reader were Chinese webnovels that use a practice very similar to what we have in fandoms.

I guess I understand myself better now! Still wish I knew if that k-novel's author is /j or /srs about the ot3 though.

[duchezss]

All my favorite moments in blue beetle: a very long and silly list because this is my new fav movie ever (latinos on top fr)

The fact that the entire movie is low key a representation of how lost people can feel after they finish college and don't know what to do with their life.

How celebrated it is that Jaime is a first gen college student

As much as I loved him being from el paso, I love that he now gets his own city that it still deeply rooted in latino culture

How despite the fact that everything is going bad for the family, Jaime still tries to keep moral up and be positive

Jaime stands up for Jenny without thinking

How his persistence is what ends him landing up with the scarab, and subsequently keeping it out of victorias hands

Am I allowed to say his entire family? The scene where they're all pushing him to open to the box was so funny. Their dynamic felt so real, and it makes even more sense because apparently any time they were bickering it was improv.

How well the movie handled micro-aggressions against latinos. Like the receptionist didn't even attempt Jaime name, and how Victoria would never get her scientist's name right. They are subtle, but very real problems.

Maybe this was just me, but from the trailers I thought Jenny and Jaime already new each other, but I liked that they just met. It made their story more interesting.

The body horror route they decided to take with the suit was so cool.

The suit in general. I missed practical suits so much, and it just looked so amazing.

Another thing, that has already been talked about a lot but idc, is that I still am so in love that his family knows from the get go. Of course it wasn't really his choice, but I love how there is never any big secret, and they are constantly in the picture.

I know the Khaji-Da doesn't have as much personality compared to the comics, but the whole sequence where Jaime first gets the suit was so funny.

Notoriously in the comics the beetles were sent out to worlds to be the harbingers for their creator species to invade said world. I loved the small detail in the intro of the blue beetle crashing into the green beetle and then having a flash of electricity. I wonder if that was to hint at a malfunction, since the Khaji-Da never goes to evil with Jaime.

I love Rudy's truck. It's stupid but that's why it's so good.

The whole family debrief was was funnier than it should've been, and the beetle on Jaime spine looked wicked as well.

I thought it was interesting how much of a presence Ted Kord had on the movie, mainly because. of Jenny, but it was still there.

Every. Single. Latino. Reference. I could barely keep up there were so many good ones omg, the details were amazing.

For Jenny being an original character I thought she was done very well

I love how Rudy was useful and basically got them into kord industries.

I love the way we only see Jaime eyes in the suit. It's a different approach to what we've seen with masked heroes so far and I love it

How much they talked about the first two blue beetles, I thought adding that context made it better

They made it very evident how lonely Jenny feels, and I think her small emotional moments really paid off in the end.

I love how Jaime was so openly affectionate with both Rudy and his father, it's something uncommon with men in latino cultures and I loved seeing it.

The entire sequence where Jaime's house was being raided was so uncomfortable. And it was in moments like this were I thought Soto did a great job of weaving real world problems latinos face within a superhero movie.

The moment when Jaime's father had a heart attack, and Jaime was being dragged away, and his sister was screaming was just so heartbreaking and powerful. All of them were hurting so much.

I loved how active his family was, and how all of them immediately went to go rescue him.

Side note: the bug ship looked so cool and goofy and I loved it so much

How Jose was actually very curious about Jaime's connection to the beetle, but Victoria didn't care

The whole dream scene with Jaime and his father. I thought it perfectly mirrored their conversation from the beginning of the movie, and I thought it was incredibly moving. Not to mention I loved the detail of Jaime wearing the last outfit he saw his father in.

I loved that Jaime saved himself, but that his family greatly aided him. I thought it was a great metaphor for the fact that you can do things on your own, but having support can really make the difference

I thought it was so funny that Jaime absolutely refused to kill, and his family members did it was a smile on their face lmaoo.

I know it's cheesy, but I always love it in superhero movies when the main character finally accepts their destiny and it was a very cool moment for Jaime too. But I will say I think they did it with an interesting approach. For most superhero movies the big moment is the superhero finally deciding to go out of their way and fight the big bad, but in this movie he just finally fights what's right in front of him.

How once Jaime accepted himself as the Blue Beetle, Khaji-Da started speaking to him in spanish and adopted his ideologies, further proving their relationship is a two way street.

I loved that Khaji-Da stopped Jaime from killing Carapax, because he was justifiable angry, but he would've regretted it at some point

The low key plot twist of the locket Carapax had not being his wife and child, but being him and his mother. That was genius tbh.

I loved that Jaime had the iconic 2000s superhero half masked fight. This movie felt so 2000's but in the best way possible.

How the entire final act was circling back to the point of loving his family making him weak, but throughout everything we've seen, it's clearly the opposite.

I liked how once Jaime bonded with Khaji his mask would come on and off on command.

How Jaime started wearing his father's necklace in the ending :(

I loved the entire score so much, the synth wave vibe they decided to take was fantastic. I also love how iconic and recognizable they made blue beetle's main theme. Like the bum bum bummm that kept showing up was so good.

I really loved how they aged Jaime up to 22 as a newly college grad. I feel like superheros are always either 16 or 40 and there's never any in between, so it was nice to see.

And for my last point to a very long list: I loved that in the end Carapax helped Jaime and Jenny. Because the real villain was Victoria making them fight each other, and in my opinion that was such a powerful metaphor for latinos and any pocs

[hotwaterandmilk]

So I decided to pick up physical copies of The Vampire and His Pleasant Companions from Yen Press on a whim the other day. I've been in such a nostalgia hole about Ragawa's works thanks to the Hanayume 50th celebrations and I remembered her manga adaptation of Konohara Narise's novels had restarted not that long ago. It made sense to get the books and begin a catchup re-read before the fifth volume comes out in English.

I'll be honest, I don't remember much about the Kyuketsuki to Yukai na Nakamatachi novels or manga from when I first encountered them. I had the first two manga volumes in Japanese at one point, but gave them away when the manga went on hiatus years ago. However, upon beginning my catchup re-read in English I was struck by how much the story resonated with me now.

If you've never read the series before now, long story short from Yen Press, "When a vampire from Nebraska named Al gets frozen in bat form, he winds up in Japan under the care of a dark and mysterious man covered in a bloody scent!"

I'd like to get into why I think this series is worth picking up now and for that it's probably easier to throw my ramblings under a cut.

I feel like the humorous elements of the series are what get talked about in the (admittedly scant) English language reviews for the series and, while the whole setup can be quite amusing, the more serious elements are what actually makes it stand out from other vampire tales with romantic elements. While everything is exaggerated, there are some very "real" aspects that help The Vampire and His Pleasant Companions stand out in an endless sea of vampire tales.

For example, Al being bitten by a vampire wasn't a ticket to easy street. There was nothing glamorous about what happened to him. That bite ruined his life and through no fault of is own, he rapidly became destitute. Vampirism in fiction is often shown leading characters to social isolation, but not necessarily to poverty. Given that Al has lost everything that connected him to his previous life, it makes sense that in our current capitalistic society he'd also lose access to even the most basic things our societal identities afford us -- including housing.

So yes, it's amusing that this bat-boy ended up flash frozen and shipped with some meat to Japan. However, the circumstances that led up to that outcome are given the weight they deserve. You truly do feel for Al in these moments because haven't we all been, at one time or another in our lives, perilously close to losing everything? These fleeting glimpses at the past sting in otherwise rollicking segments of the story as they should. Everything beautiful in Al's present is something that he didn't have during his lowest points and you truly feel for him as he works to prolong these moments.

Another serious moment that lifts the series even higher in my eyes is when it becomes aparent that Akira has access to human remains. Rather than handwaving away the access to blood as a convenient way to get Al the nutrition he needs, a significant amount of time is dedicated to the ethics surrounding the situation. The gravity with which all lives should be handled post-mortem and just a generally respectful examination of embalming as a process.

Unsurprisingly, I find the portrayal of Al's "incomplete" vampirism as a form of disability to be a compelling take on the mythos too. Al gets almost none of the "benefits" of being a vampire due to the whole process "not being done properly." What this leaves him with are a lot of things that make his everyday life different from not just humans, but "complete" vampires as well.

These differences mean he struggles to feed himself properly, feels significant levels of pain, and his body is often weak or doesn't behave the way he wants it to. The cause here is obviously fiction, but the way Al's acquired disability impacts his capacity to function to an acceptable level in a society of "normal" folks (both human and vampire) really struck me as ringing true, at least for myself and my own disabilities.

Yeah, I'm not going to turn into an adorable bat (and truly, bat Al is A D O R A B L E) but the struggle to make use of the few good hours in a day when my body works to a degree, that's so goddamn real. Al wants to contribute to the household, to pay back Akira and to be a functioning member of society... but it's not as straightforward for him as it is for others and that's something I appreciate being explored here.

Another thing that stands out to me is Akira's sexuality. While there are a lot of misunderstandings with Al and Akira that lead to people assuming they're lovers, when Akira is pushed into a corner about having a lover he shuts this down by describing himself as being frigid or having a low libido (in very blunt language).

I feel like the depth of this is conveyed well in the English translation by the subsequent line:

While at this point in the series Akira hasn't labeled his sexuality as being either demisexual or asexual, this is definitely something that it feels like the narrative is leaning towards. Particularly when Al clarifies the difference, in his limited language skills, between the physical and the romantic.

Akira is still figuring out what is comfortable for him in terms of dealing with people, so it makes sense that his progress regarding intimacy has only accelerated after meeting Al. The batty vampire is pushing him towards understanding more about himself and how he chooses to interact with those around him, but the ball is still very much in Akira's court regarding whether he'd like to explore either the physical or emotional aspects of their relationship further. I found that really refreshing?

That this story allows the dark-haired, brooding hero who is one part of our lead will-they-or-won't-they, to assert that he doesn't feel the same level of physical attraction that others do. That he isn't entirely confident in this either, that it's a part of himself he's never opened up about before, that it's something Al uncovers and isn't suddenly changed to fit what is acceptable. But that it doesn't lessen Al's interest in him, it's just part of who Akira is... gah! It really resonated with me idk. I love some smut, but I also appreciate it when a story focused on something as sexual as vampirism chooses to eschew this in favour of raw emotional edging instead.

I've pushed the more serious elements of the text in this ramble, but before I wrap up I should really note that there are some very funny moments too. For example, Al's bluntness here when he speaks Japanese.

The Vampire and His Pleasant Companions isn't the best work of vampire fiction I've ever read, but it uses its recurring themes of isolation vs. the need for connection to craft an enjoyable narrative. One that I feel lingers in my mind a bit more than others. While Al's unique form of vampirism leads to some absurd escapades, the story is elevated by having its emotional core remain grounded in the intrinsic beauty of everyday human interaction and how even fundamentally different people can connect in small but significant ways.

Blah blah blah, you should check it out, I can't wait for the next volume, etc.

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

TWST AU's - Feel Free to Ask About Them!

Legit have like 25 aus for TWST I'm not even joking and most of them are self indulgent and the list WILL grow sfhkldjfhksd

Coffeeshop AU (fleshes out Khan x Leona (this is a bad ship lmao they are NOT GOOD) and more sibling shenanigans between Vizzie and Leona)

Summer Camp AU (focuses around Sebek and Epel having been childhood crushes that reunite as camp counselours at a camp Viz and Leona run, there are Many Side Stories)

Pokemon AU (self-explanatory, I made teams up with my s/o and a bunch of bg)

Assassin AU (Students are all sleeper agents, operating under STYX as their test subjects basically, and they have no idea until one student's tech starts to malfunction.)

Prison AU (everyone has fucked up reasons for being in jail, they are All Prisoners, you'll notice in almost all my aus I have a shit ton of angst)

Circus AU (self explanatory, my LeoVil AU and Idikei AU)

Robot/MurderDrones AU in which Ortho's creation is the catalyst for STYX to make more androids for commercial and industrial use, and as they gain more intelligence Ortho would like to find a way to free his fellow bots from being pawns to the humans.

Rarepair AU literally put everyone's names in a wheel and just said Yep to every pair, very fun, have not fleshed this out at all lmao

Zombie Apocalypse AU pretty self explanatory except there are shit like blot zombies and varying degrees of those, Cheka grows into quite the little leader, I have not decided whether the ending is "happy" as in everything is resolved, or happy as in it's Actually Happy

Tattoo/Soulmate AU People with magic typically get into tattooing because they have the ability to make soulmate tattoos, but it varies depending on romantic, platonic/queerplatonic, familial feelings or other ones. Trey, Vil and Leona run a shop together, Deuce wants to join, Viz accidentally becomes his adoptive sister it's all fun and relatively low on the angst actually lmao

Monster AU hehe I've talked about this on this blog before, check out my pinned post!!

FNAF AU lmao this one has so much angst but you probably knew that already, inspired more by the pizzaplex/security breach than any other FNAF game, but a lot of the same type of lore

Coraline AU in which Viz gets to be Leona's big (half) sister for once. Falena is the eldest and treated with respect, everyone knows Viz isn't the king's biological daughter but they have to put up with her because the queen does, and Leona was the attempt between the king and queen to fix everything - it didn't work and he feels that. Ends up using an escape to another world to try and avoid that feeling, only to realize something much more sinister on the other side.

Biological Sister AU not super intuitive, seeing as above, Viz is Leona's half sister, but in this au she is also related him, just via the king this time. Don't ask me why I named it this, but it is what it is, she's taken in by the royal family early on and tries to bring it together. Idk it was a fun idea at the time.

Genderbent AU I wanted to explore Vizzie's trauma if she was around a bunch of other girls instead of guys and it goes Poorly but it's fun lmao

DnD AU b/c I've never played DnD and wanted to kinda learn so it's DnD inspired but the rules/roles aren't super strict but the worldbuilding is SO MUCH FUN (there are SO many dynamics all going on at the same time its GREAT)

Medieval Fantasy AU This is moreso my S/O's AU than it is mine but I wanted to talk about it because it also has a lot of fun worldbuilding in it that we did together (like the effects of OB and whatnot in this world)(also heavily inspired by DnD)

Arranged Marriage AU Viz and Riddle both have very overbearing, traditional moms and end up together against each others wills and have to unlearn their distaste for each other before they can start really working together to find ways to make each other happy

Greek God/Epic AU In which Viz takes on the Odyssey with Leona as her guide - he wants to prove himself worthy of the title of a God, and she will do anything to protect her people. It gets Complicated fast. (I actually have art I drew for this au lmao)

Poppy Playtime AU Really fucking depressing tbh, again, upon the perfection of Ortho's robotic aids (he never died, just severely incapacitated), all the other children that were used as test subjects were abandoned as half done projects and experiments that resembled toys

Dance AU I throw a bunch of the characters into dance. Vil, Riddle and Neige are on top but all three of them are having Gender Issues but in Big Denial about it.

Fairy AU My S/O also developed this one initially but I have a few different headcanons from them :D

Petsitter AU Cater is more of the focus in this one, he's recently left home, in between jobs and down on his luck and ends up calling in an old favour. He stays with Trey (and Che'nya) in their apartment and gets to know the people in the complex as he starts to heal <3

And then I have 4 other aus I might take to Ao3 just because it seems people can filter tags better on there and uh. They Need Tags lmaooo

[rhymeswithchronic]

SO I've mentioned several times now that What This World Has to Offer, as we know it now, is a rewrite of a story I wrote in middle school. But I was thinking about all the things that have changed between then and now and thought it'd be fun to share some of it with you guys! So here we are! Things that are brand new to this story, and things that have been fixed! First things first, the main characters. Of course, the main five characters of What This World Has to Offer! We've got some things to discuss about these particular blorbos. First off, Wilson. In the original draft, honestly, everything about Wilson kind of fell off after Wilbur was introduced. I'm not even joking, I basically threw him aside entirely. I had no backstory or development really planned for him, and some really weird hoop jumping in order to excuse his behavior as the story went on. He fell so far from relevancy that I rarely even considered him when thinking about the group. It was pretty much exclusively Webber, Wilbur, and WX-78. Speaking of Wilbur, why on earth did I choose him? The one character in the entire game with no personality traits or quirks, no story, no concept, really nothing except for the fact that he can vaguely say 'banana'. I was writing WTWHTO when Shipwrecked came out and I really wanted to add one of the characters to the story. I had never really planned on having five characters, and honestly the characters in SW I just felt didn't fit well. So, I, as a normal fanfiction writer, took the character I could have full creative control over. On top of that, I loved the idea of including each of the 'weird' characters from each section of the game, as well as the game's main character (Wilson). WX-78 represents Vanilla. Webber represents Reign of Giants. Naturally, Wilbur represents Shipwrecked. When originally writing WTWHTO, I didn't really have any backstory for Wilbur either. Instead, after I was finished, I started working on The One True Heir, a backstory for Wilbur that was made up on the spot. In the rewrite, I got to explore this backstory so much more considering it... actually existed. You know. Better than the original. I got the name Roselyn, Wilbur's mate, from the character Rosaline from Romeo and Juliet (which we were reading in English at the time) and Elizabeth, Wilbur's daughter, was named after my at-the-time best friend of the same name. Now for WX-78. At the time, I didn't realize people actually headcanoned that they held a soft spot for Webber. Somehow, it was just how their character grew as the story went on. Their relationship with Webber was left a bit more ambiguous, described simply as 'best friends', but as I got older I realized there were times it sounded almost queer-baity, so I decided to emphasize their bond as distinctly brotherly. I was posting exclusively to Fanfiction.net, which didn't have tags, so there wasn't any real way to say to the audience that shipping was not intended. If people wanna ship them, that's up to y'all, but it's not the story's intention. I am much happier with how they see each other in this version, and I feel it is more accurate to how I originally intended it to be. When I first started writing it, I did not intend to write Webber out of character. I simply... didn't know how to write characters that were soft and sweet. At this point, that boy's his own character lol Which leaves the fifth character- Nick!

[iwasjoking]

Okay, all of these are basically based off of the 'sentient lost light AU' from @cuppajj, which I was obsessing about, but when I thought about it, it didn't really have a name for what it was. And I don't think 'metro titan' or just 'titan' would suffice. So I went up and thought of a classification, or multiple classifications for different kind of titans, I mean, lets spread our horizons a bit.

Okay, first up, metro titans are titans that transform into massive cities, and act as settlements for bots to colonize new planets. Honestly the first thought of it was astonishing, but just, metro titans? That kinda seems.. bland.

At first I didn't think too much about them, because honestly, who would, until I came across the sentient LostLight AU. And everything fit together perfectly, though I was quite late to the party, I started going through as many posts about it as I could at the time. And then decided to create my own Titan OC.

Verloren, the bot above is a Titan that I created, I drew the ship part first so it would make sense, but he still kinda looked like Lostlight, that was a big accident ^^'

There is another (unfinished) OC up there thats much bigger, and more blue but I'll talk about them later.

Anyways, just titan didn't suffice my brain, since you have metro titans, and then just.. titans? So, I decided to create my own classification, leading tooooooo,

Star Faring titans! (Workshopping the name still, and the emblem, kinda looks dumb) But I like it so far, and what it means is that it's a titan that transforms into a ship, not a city. A ship thats supposed to travel the stars, at first I was thinking 'Quantum titan', but not all have to have Quantum engines. Though I haven't made out all the details, I quite like what I have so far.

But why stop there? with only two. Then comes up another idea, in another comic I read, there were titans that were orbiting around the planet, doing sorts of jobs, so I started onto making the 'satellite titans'. These titans are titans that orbit around the planet, and do certain jobs. Heck some of them could be a moon orbiting around another planet.

I separated them into 3 groups, (so far), base satellite titans, Lunar satellite titans, and Job satellite titans. (Still workshopping the names)

The names should probably explain themselves but even so:

Lunar satellite titans are titans that are mainly for defense of the planet, as moons, though they can transform, they can sometimes shoot beams from their surface, most of the time they orbit around colonized planets.

Job satellite titans do things like mining from the surface, or act as a radio beam, and are typically the smallest, I've seen them sorta in comics, though not mentioned under any sort of specialized name.

And base satellite titans, basically ones that travel around the stars, before settling into an orbit, becoming a sort of stop station, for ships. They often have a crew operating them, or become fully functional cities in the sky. But I would not call them a metro titan, because they stay in space, as a sort of 'stop station'

I might make more stories or pictures about them later, but honestly, I love this idea and I hope some people would try to expand on it ^^

Stormy signing off

[toxicsludgeyaoi]

Toxic Sludge Yaoi Tournament: Ivantill (Alien Stage) Vs Drake (The Music Freaks)

(Vote for whichever ship you like more.)

Propaganda under cut. Note: spoilers for these medias may be below.

Ivantill propaganda

"SO BLAAAACK BLACK AS IT CAN BEEEEE.... anyways. These two are so.... <333. They're stuck in a music competition where if you lose you die. Ivan doesn't show much emotion but truly comes alive when he's around or talking about Till. Till is rebellious and is often beat by the aliens holding them hostage. Till is also in love with a girl named Mizi. Who is in a relationship. Yeah.... Ivan tried to escape with Till, and they almost made it out, but Till went back for Mizi and now they're stuck. Till and Ivan are going against each other in the next round of the competition and I'm so scared guys"

Drake propaganda

"There is literally a 0.1% chance they'll get in because it's a random YouTube gacha life series but I swear ITS GOOD!! It has good voice acting and good animation (especially once it gets to ep5 and onward), it has really good characters and writing (albeit very cliche)I swear!!. Oh well. A delusional demonic soul can hope

Also, Jake is the protagonist, so we know a lot more about him than we do about Drew, which means his actions might seem more "justified" because we're more aware of his background. And also, he just has more background in general so it's a bit easier to summarize his story. But there are multiple sides to this bond

So basically, Jake and drew are both complicated characters with their own issues. They were both best friends who weren't fully honest with each other and who recently "broke up" in the finale. They both did good and bad and bad-but+understandable things that ruined their relationship.

I am honestly kind of tired, because I have summarized the plot of TMF more times than I could count on my fingers, but I suppose I'll have to work up he strength, otherwise literally no one will even bother voting them. (If it gets into the bracket in the first place)

So basically, Jake got bullied in middle school for his passion for singing. Afterwards he got really insecure of himself, since the bullying was most definitely heavy. He didn't have any friends, until drew came into his life. Drew didn't know about Jake's passion for music, but out of fear for being made fun of again, Jake decided not to share that part of him. Drew was also one of those bullies who made fun of the schools music club, and called them freaks, though he never knew JAKE liked music, so. Jake basically was desperate for a friend and would sacrifice his real identity to simply please drew, especially since Jake KNEW drew bullied music lovers, while Drew never knew about Jake's passion and continued to obliviously make fun of the Music club, HOWEVER. later on in the show we realize that Jake faking his personality around drew would inevitably ruin their relationship. Howevereuif

Drew himself most likely has a form of separation anxiety and attachment issues, and he canonically has control issues evident by many of his actions. We don't know why yet, we can make theories, and it's probably gonna get revealed in season 2, but many people theorize his parents are neglectful so he seeks attention from others, as well as has underlying anxiety related to others leaving him. It's just a theory though, however it makes sense. In the show, we see him making fun of the music club, and Jake making fun of the music club with him too, because Jake is scared that drew will leave him if Jake is revealed to be one of those music freaks. This is toxic because Jake simply can't be himself around drew. But there's more reasons why they're toxic. Jake lied to Drew about who he was, which most definitely hurt Drew because he felt lied to and he felt manipulated, but st the same time drew was ALSO manipulative and possessive over Jake, and he was the one to make Jake feel like he can't be himself in the first place, so it's toxic both ways (but it's a little kore toxic coming from Drew's side). 

Now why is this a ship? I'll also have to explain this (before summarizing more of the plot hehe) basically Drew's possessiveness and clinginess could be perceived as him being romantically attracted to Jake, as well as the fact that he blushed when the topic of him being jelous of Jakes new friends came up, and he didn't even deny it, he just said "shut up!" Ok gay plum. It's also a ship bc of his attached they are though they're definitely toxic. It's not canon, and Drew's feelings are probably never going to be officialized, however, a demonic soul can hope.

Now onto further plot summary (what I summarized before was just the some of the backstory summarization, nothing else, were barely getting started): at one point, Jake joins the music club. Bc of his girl crush. OK YES Jake has a canon girl crush, which kinda ruins this ship it though this ship is prolly one sided anyway lmao. But doesn't matter. Basically Jake is crushing on his girl daisy, and at one point when a band competition is announced, Jake really feels appelled to sign up for their schools music club, however because of DREW, he felt like he COULDNT. so instead he sang an emo song on the rooftop, and then got caught by daisy. Daisy told him that he shouldn't let hid talent to go to wastel and that he should join the music club, and Jake impulsively tells her hell join the club. However he regrets it bc he feels like DREW, someone who's supposed to be his BEST FRIEND, is going to make fun of him for it. This is not healthy bruh. But anyhow - he still decides to join the club, and then he tells drew about it, but says that he joined the band JUST so he could perform at the competition and "win daisy over" because he's been meaning to ask her out. He has to use excuses in order to feel safe performing his passions, wow. Jake still feels the need to hide his passions, and he tells drew that he's just doing it for daisy, and after the competition hell simply leave the club. However all of that is simply lying. Jake lied to much, because of his insecurities, which caused further damage in his and Drew's bond. Jake actually WANTED to be a part of the Music club, the exact one drew would make fun of, Jake actually felt like family there. However obviously he couldn't open up about it to drew. So as time goes on in the show, drew starts feeling more and more obviously jealous. He also gets more and more progressively depressed and distant, because of the jealousy. Jake starts spending more time with the music club, while drew doesn't WANT him to be at the club, drew wants Jake ti be right by his side. And gets quite annoyed with the lack of attention he's received from him. Angsty jelly bf. Jake however never tells him that he's pursuing his passion and drew should be proud of him!!. Bit uhshhdidodd

More time passes, the competition is nearing, and drew is getting really really tired and jelous of Jakes lack of attendance in his life. Drew then proceeds to try and manipulate Jake into getting out of the music club, and got him to say a bunch of hurtful things about the club as well, so drew tried to convince both Jake AND himself that the music club is actually the one manipulating Jake into staying eitt them and spending less time with drew. Oh also I forgot to mention - they were all at Drew's house, by "all of them" I mean drew and Jakes other friends I'll call the jomies (Jake x homies). So basically one of the jomies decided to record the bunch of hurtful things Jake said about the club, y'know that drew pressured Jake into saying. Drew didn't record nor did he know about one of the jomies recording Jake but yeah. Drew still wanted to manipulate Jake into leaving the club anyway.

So long story short, one of the jomies proceed to send the recording to the music club, so the music club felt understandably upset at Jake especially since they've all been bullied in the past and had their trust broken, and so basically drew indirectly broke Jake and the music club up. Though this worked in Drew's favour because he WANTED the rift between them to happen. But also remember drew never knew about Jake's passion. For singing. 

Later on stuff happen, yada yada, Jake apologizes to the music club VERY, VERY publicly (the whole school heard them), and drew gets annoyed yet again, because like I said, drew is a jelly bf, he wants jakey all to himself, he is tired of Jake constantly talking about the music club, he feels like Jake cares more about the club than he does about HIM. which sucks because drew is very hungry for attention dye to his possible crappy home life. After Jakes apology, when the music club decided to forgive them, drew decided to get into an "argument" with Hailey, one of the music club members (by argument I mean drew literally just started yelling at her lmao). Then Jake decided to break up the fight. I also forgot to mention that Jake cares boh about the jomies AND the music club. He wants to be friends with both of them. But jomies and TMC don't. So then drew and Jake start arguing and yada yada I'm EXTREMELY tired my head hurts I don't think I can continue blabbering.... but UHM. Basically drew felt manipulated and betrayed. Jake was manipulated. They were both manipulative due to their own issues, and they both struggle deeply in this toxic bond. What is more toxic yaoi than that?"

So much angsty love breakup songs fit them, it hurts /pos

Never thought I'd write this much about a random gacha life series dam (pls watch it even though i practically spoiled everything)

[ddlcpoly]

Yooooo I just wanna say thanks for making this blog because as a fandom we are starved for poly doki content

Now I personally tend to headcanon MC as aroace which definitely goes against the headcanons of this blog but when reading posts from here I either ignore my own headcanon or instead interpret MC here as being in a QPR with the others while the girls are all together romantically but all five of them still love each other the same

I'm not entirely sure why I brought that up if I'm being honest, I think the main point is that despite what I normally do, you've been able to make content that is still really REALLY enjoyable (and also because I'm a bit curious on your opinion of aroace MC)

Anyway in short cool blog! Love wins!!!!

Thanks dude! Funnily enough one of the main reasons I made this blog was because of the drought of polyclub (I dunno if it’s a widespread ship name, but I like it), so I decided: “Fuck it, if no one else is going to do it, then I am!” and the I did lol.

Now I personally can’t really see MC as aroace, probably because I see him as kinda romance starved (if that’s even a term). I think that’s mostly due to the fact that everyone that likes MC has a version of them in their head (you could also say that about any character thanks to the fact that we all interpret characters differently, but it’s most appear to with MC) thanks to the fact that he was deliberately made with very little personality in mind, even through he does present some, you just have to look for it. He’s kinda like a vague idea of a character that people mold to better fit their AU or story and I kinda like that as fan of ddlc.

Anyways thanks a lot for the ask and the continuous support, I remember that you basically like all my posts and constantly reblog my silly little things and I really appreciate it, it helps me keep me motivated to write on this blog. Love wins!!!!!

[midnightmah07]

hi hi mah!! how's it going? :0 it's been a while since i've been in your inbox i believe??? ;;

your mermaid au kind of just crossed my mind hgkdsjkl

i'm not sure if you've talked about it anywhere yet, but i'd love to know more about pirate ruggie and emergency food mermaid daisy if you don't mind!

I actually plan on making a post with info about each character that I deem important to this au, mainly the Savanaclaw boys (and girl, including my oc Jeanne) and mayhaps the Scarabia boys (...and girl again, including my oc Damali)! I have not posted more about it ever since the small comics but I definitely plan to!

Basically what you need to know about daiggie in this au is this:

- Ruggie is poor and was a street thieve trying to support him and his grandma (and the kids in his neighborhood) in the same kingdom that Leona's a prince of before Leona ultimately ran away and founded a pirate crew; he got recruited by Leona once he saw his abilities and diligence and was basically the first member of Leona's crew — Ruggie is also his first mate.

- Daisy's story is basically the same as her canon story, her parents dying and her being at the mercy of her stepmom, but obviously this all happens with her and her family being mermaids! Her stepmother always made a point for her to stay underwater (mixing elements of the little mermaid) but she was always fascinated with humans, her parents even telling her stories of having met kind and wonderful sailors, so one day she decided to be caught by a pirate crew in order to try and convince them to let her stay in their crew so she could escape her life in the sea.

- Daisy's real name, as I said before, is Eléa, but in this au instead of her giving herself the name Daisy, Ruggie is the one to give her that name. He tells her she kinda reminds him of a flower he knows and that he consumes quite often, and decides to call her that instead; the name sticks and before you know it she's not Eléa the mermaid anymore she's Daisy the pirate

- Daisy is tasked to be the navigator of the ship (due to her understanding of the sea) and to help Ruggie in his chores in the ship as payment to be a part of the crew

- there's like a running gag I created in my head that Daisy does not comprehend jokes with double meanings bc (and this is my personal headcanon) mermaids don't reproduce the same way humans do, so for example in her first time taking a bath Ruggie is tasked to help her and throughout the entire time he's just "for the love of everything DO NOT GET OUT OF THE TUB" and she. Doesn't understand why😭😭😭😭 it's funny in my head ok🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️

- also also the crew manage to get their hands on a potion that transforms the body of a mermaid into a human, it's illegal but since they're pirates and because Leona is the one in charge they're able to create a plan to get it; they do it because they need Daisy to move around on the ship and on land when they arrive at some countries for supplies

For now that's all I can think of!! I want to expand more on it tho

[mixelation]

FAQs

House keeping post! Last updated 1 June 2024.

General:

Who is Tori?

My OC! Check out her masterpost.

Do you have a tags masterpost?

I'm working on it. :)

How do I refer to you?

I've been telling people to call me Mixel, but some people call me Mix. I use she/they.

Can you tag something for me?

I am not good at remembering to tag things. In general, if you following a blog requires certain things to be tagged, I wouldn't recommend following this blog.

You didn't answer my ask!

I don't answer even close to every ask I get. It's nothing personal! Sometimes I don't have time or energy, sometimes I just don't have opinions on the thing, and sometimes I mean to answer later and then forget and then it gets buried. Sometimes this happens even if I've specifically asked for people to send me stuff via an ask meme. Sometimes I don't answer even when I really want to for various reasons.

Do you want a recommendation?

Please don't send me recommendations unless I have specifically asked for them.

Can I DM you?

I don't like getting DMs from people I don't know. Please don't DM me unless we've talked before (via comments, asks, etc). If you have a question you don't want answered publicly, you can send me an ask and request it be answered privately.

Do you have a DNI?

No, but relevant to being a fandom blog: I am a bonafide adult, and my view on shipping and other fandom activities is basically "I have no right to judge what fictional scenarios other people enjoy or want to explore." If either of those things make you uncomfortable, go ahead and block me.

Can I repost your content to another website? I'll credit you!

For fics, absolutely not. Do not repost any of my creative story writing, fanfic or original fic.

For generic tumblr posts, I am wary of giving permission to repost any sort of content on another site. I can’t stop you reposting screen caps of my posts, and I’m not going to hunt them down or (publicly) complain about screen caps of my post on other sites. But if you come to me actually asking for permission.... the answer is no.

Fandom and fics:

I came here to find the Plasticity AUs and what I found confuses and frightens me.

Not to worry! I made a masterpost.

Why did you change your user name?

Here's a post about it. Most relevant notes form that post: 1. Don't refer to me by my old user name, even on other sites. 2. If you find an old tumblr link that's broken, you can replace my old user name with "mixelation" and it will work again!

Can I do ______ with your fic?

I have a permissions statement on my AO3 profile. I try to keep this up-to-date as my feelings on how my work is used evolves.

Can I tag you/send you a post that reminds me of your fics?

Yes, but please explain that's what you're doing. Please don't send me context-less posts. I cannot read your mind through the internet.

I might retract permission for this if I start getting a ton, just for my own sanity. But so far it's been fine.

How do I send you fan art?

Most people have been sending them by asks, but you can also post them to your own blog and @ me, or else comment on the fic itself or send me a link via tumblr asks. Give me a few days to interact before following up.

When are you going to update _____? Is _____ abandoned?

I have a busy life and what fic I work on in my free time is controlled by the whims of my brain. There's no schedule and I am unlikely to be able to give you an estimate. I will tag a fic as abandoned on AO3 if I decide there's no way it will ever get updated. For some fics for which I get this a lot:

Homemade Dynamite - I actually have about 95% of chapter 13 written. Chapter 12, however, is only like half written and I have a pretty big block on it. :(

Fun and Games - I do hope to continue this one, and I have a decent chunk of the next chapter written, plus notes + an outline for the rest of the fic. Unfortunately, to keep writing it, I have to do a decent amount of research on HP canon, and certain recent events have really soured by motivation to interact with that canon.

I found a fic I think you would like!

Please see my answer about recommendations. Don't send them unless I've asked, no matter how good you think it is.

[fabuloustrash05]

Courting a Salamandrian FAQ

Just some common questions I’ve received regarding my RaMona fanfic that I decided to answer all in a singular post.

“What inspired you to write this story?”

I’ve always loved Raph x Mona, since we were first introduced to this ship back in 2015. Around that time I was in high school and one night I had a dream about Raph and Mona getting married. The dream was so vivid and had so many details down to the guests who attended, the wedding decorations, to what the couple was wearing. I was so amazed by that dream, I just had to write it. I originally planned to only write the wedding, which I thought was only going to be around 5 chapters, but as I kept working on the first draft, I realized I wanted to also add a proposal scene. Then when I started working on that, I decided I wanted to add more to the proposal, like when he realized he wanted to marry her etc, asking Sal for his blessing, etc. but as I kept going my brain suddenly went “Wait… let’s add drama!” And the rest was history.

"When does the story take place?"

About 4 years after the S5 episode When Worlds Collide. Raph and Mona have been together for 5 years by the start of the fanfic.

"How old are Raph and Mona Lisa?"

In the beginning of the story Raph is 23 and Mona is 24. By chapter 19, they are 24 and 25. By the epilogue they are 38 and 39.

“What made you decide to make Bishop the villain in this story?”

Bishop was already a canon hater of RaMona, as we saw in When Worlds Collide he was very against the idea of Mona staying on Earth, so I decided to explore that more.

Also 2012 Bishop was my introduction to the overall character. After I learned that he is supposed to be a villain in other iterations like the 2003 series, it just supported my concept even more! I wanted to explore Bishop becoming the villain he was known to be in other versions.

"What is the relationship status of the other couples that appear in C.A.S. (ex: apritello, renetangelo, etc.)?"

Donnie and April are dating, they've been together for 4 years.

Mikey and Renet are together but they are not expecting a full commitment from one another. Basically friends with benefits.

Karai and Shinigami are dating (have been for a little over 4 years) and are living together back in Japan.

Slash and Alopex are crushing on one another, but are both in denial about their feelings.

Casey has a girlfriend that he just started dating by the time of chapter 19, her name is Gabrielle. If you are familiar with the mirage comics then you'll get this reference.

Leo is single and NOT ready to mingle.

"Why does Alopex have a kid in chapter 28?"

That was a reference to my TMNT 2012 OC, Sasuke! It was also a fun way to, I guess you could say, plant the seeds for future events with my TMNT 2012 future headcanon. Getting started on the next gen of TMNT lol

“Can we see a visual of what everyone wore to the wedding?”

Sure!

"Can I draw fanart based on your fanfic?"

YEEESSSSS PLEAAASSEEE!!! DO IT!!! All I ask is to please tag me for credit and also so I don't miss seeing it! <3

“Will there be a sequel?”

As of right now, no. I never really planned for a sequel or a second story, heck I didn’t even originally plan for this story to be 30 chapters long lol, but I would like to write some oneshots of married life RaMona along with moments with their kids. I’ve already written two so far: the two parter Family Vacation Gone Wrong and Once an Enemy Now a… Friend? (Though that one focuses more on Adult!Raph with one of his kids making a cameo). Feel free to check them out!

[gay-robot-boyfriends]

Sooooooo, I saw the post with the ask about Vile HCs and how you rambled on about it, seeing the ending mentioning you have a lot of VileX HCs.

So allow me to be the enabler to hearing about such HCs with this ship in question, VileX.

(Random Vile art so the post doesn't feel as naked dsdhsha!) OMG, you mean I get to ramble about my beloved again? <3 This is going to be a long one! So I got both HCs and a bit of AU. GET READY!

Disclaimer: I understand that this irl relationship would not be healthy; however, it is all for fun and should be viewed as a sitcom. A lot of it is silliness and sexual tension (I won't go into detail here), but consent is very important to me, so it is definitely present here. I brainstormed a lot of this with my friend @raerrui.

Headcanons:

So, no one at HQ knows how those two ended up together or why X would even consider someone like Vile, but no one questions it too much.

Vile likes X in the same way that he likes his favourite cannon. He cleans and names his cannons, is a weapons nerd, and does not want anyone else to touch them.

As a reploid created from for war, I don't believe the prospect of love is possible for him.

He doesn't get the romantic human mushy crap X is into and probably thinks a lot of it is stupid, but whatever makes his rookie happy. A happy rookie does not whine, nag, or cry, all of which Vile finds annoying.

So, in that sense, he treats X in the same way he would his weapons. When something is broken, you fix it. When someone messes with your weapons, you break their legs and reclaim what is rightfully yours.

It's just Vile's version of being protective and caring, but with more salt and rage. Vile considers X to be his token boyfriend and treats him accordingly.

Vile checks out X the first time he sees him in his first armour. They would go on "let's go blow shit up" dates in Vile's ride armour. X wants to try cute human things, to which Vile groans but agrees (like this). Also, I believe Vile would bring out the worst in X, but in the funniest way possible. He sometimes turns into an angry little blueberry because he is tired of Vile's bullshit.

X gets to see a side of Vile that others do not. Vile's room, complete with a built-in bar, has everything he needs to make killer drinks. He even purchased stupid little umbrellas because X thought they were cute. Basically, X gets to see Vile make something.

The AU bits that live rent free in my head:

It's not fleshed out or anything, but long story short, Sigma has Vile train X (a new recruit), and Vile is pissed about it. He doesn't want to train a rookie; he wants to go out there and blow stuff up, and until X is ready to go on the field, Vile is stuck at headquarters with him. That means he HAS to train him.

Along the way, Vile tries to tick off X because he's bored out of his mind and has nothing better to do, and he refuses to address him by name. Keeps calling him Rookie, it becomes X's nickname. X had had enough after a while.

"Stop calling me that my name is X! X!!" "You haven't earned that right yet, rookie. You can't even hit the targets without missing half of them. Everyone thinks you're so special." He moves closer to X, towering over him. "…But you're not. I don't care what your "title" says about you. You're nothing unless you can prove otherwise." X doesn't flinch. "You don't scare me." "Hah, that's the type of attitude that'll get you killed on the field. "I like it."

I love the idea of them having so much tension at the start. X kinda learns to deal with Vile being Vile.

When X reaches B-rank, he is able to go on missions but needs to be assisted. He wants to try it on his own, and Vile says, "Alright, suit yourself." So he sits back and watches X, but decides it's a good idea to fire his cannon at X to see if he can avoid it (also for self entertainment). "WHAT THE HELL VILE?" Vile is laughing loudly, "Remember your training, Rookie!" "R-right enemies can come from anywhere."

This entire AU leads to Zero joining the maverick hunters, and since Vile has been complaining so much, Sigma decides to have Zero train X instead. Vile gets annoyed. He's mostly annoyed with himself for being angry when he sees X and Zero smiling and talking to each other. X and Zero are just friends because I don't want to get into that kind of drama. It's too complex for my two brain cells. I just enjoy all of the different dynamics.

Everything eventually leads to this:

[symphonyofsilence]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Oooh such a difficult question! I have like about...50 top 10 favorite characters somehow and they're ever increasing lmao! (like the 10 is in the Real numbers axis not natural numbers.lol.) So, after lots of thought, I decided to consider the factor of how well-written they are. The ones who had the most ups and downs and the author managed to hit every emotional chord every step of the way.

So, in no particular order:

Maedhros (Tolkien's legendarium)

(Art by @elfinfen )

I have waxed poetic about Maedhros on many occasions. Namely here. But to be brief: he just has one of the best fallen hero tragedies ever! And one of the most beautiful, rich, tragic, and enticing journeys! One of the best parts of the Silmarillion is following his journey from the son who fought with the rest of his family over the Teleri ships and then disagreed with Fëanor over the burning of the ships, and paid the most dearly for that mistake, and then healed because "the fire of life was hot within him" and fought with everything he had to protect the Middle-earth and unite all the houses and all the races, to the Maedhros after The Nirnaeth, who led three Kingslayings and came to actually involuntarily help the Malkor whom he fought so hard against for so long and was tortured with his own deeds so much that he ended his life with fire, right after he won the one thing he was fighting for from the beginning of his story. Only to have lost everything else.

2. Fëanor (Tolkien's legendarium)

He's the fire. He's the forest. And he's a witness watching it. Has a man ever destroyed so much even as he kept creating? Has a man ever dreamed so big his dreams crushed his reality beneath their feet? Has a man ever ruined everything and everyone he loved from the moment he was born down to the moment he last closed his eyes on the sight of the sons that followed him to their demise? Because he was burning so hot that everything close to him burnt with him? Has a man lost all he stood for in the way of fighting for what he stood for?

He brought his own end and there's something really appealing, really humane, really real about self-made tragedies.

(Also he's absolutely unhinged and his lines are all bangers & I love him for that!)

3. Jin Guangyao (Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed)

Just the place JGY occupies in the narrative, as WWX's parallel and the story's antagonist who is basically also kinda the protagonist in this very story if you look at it from another angle is fascinating! You can write essays about him!

He just wanted to honor his mother, he just wanted his father's approval, he wanted the world. He wanted the world just to have some safety he never had. He never got any safety even when had the world. He did many evils to get the world. He wanted the world just to do some good in it. He was the best Xiao Shushu. He took his nephew hostage. and even then he didn't lose his nephew'slove. He played a game designed against him and won. He lost in his own game to the man he didn't even know was playing. And he truly loved and cared for that man. He was so kind, he took personal risks with no benefit for himself to save people. He couldn't afford to be a good, righteous person who would always be kind. He kinda taught this to WWX the hard way. He plays the role of a villain in WWX's story. His endgame was to just run away and WWX interrupted him. They barely knew each other. They respected each other. He died by his love's hand and his last deed in life was to push his love out of danger.

He never had a chance. At no point could he have been happy, or saved. He was doomed from the beginning. And yet he went as far as went. And there's a certain appeal to this kind of soft power, resilience, determination, hard work, cleverness, brilliance, and competence. To not just give in to fate and if there is no chance to take, then create some. To just forcefully carve a place yourself in the world of the world has decided that you have no place in it.

And everything he does he does with STYLE! AND HE'S SO POLITE EVEN WHEN TALKING TO THE PEOPLE HE'S TAKEN HOSTAGE! HE'S SO COOL AND SO ELEGANT AND SECRETLY SASSY AND SO COMPETENT I CAN'T HELP BUT STAN!

4. Jiang Cheng (Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed)

Ah, the grumpy but kindhearted characters. They always have my whole heart.

Nobody can convince me Jiang Cheng is not my actual little brother!

I love this tsundere wet cat so much! He's a loser, he's won at everything he's ever started, he's a mess, he's a badass, he's a wet cat, he's a war hero and a competent sect leader and an excellent Jiujiu, he's broken and betrayed, he's so full of love that he gives freely and unconditionally.

And isn't it kinda the point? To go on and continue even while crying and screaming? To break down and grieve, but get up again and keep going? To love, despite many things that stand against it?

Jiang Cheng's character is introduced in a way that at every turn, you're waiting for the moment when he turns against Wei Wuxian and kills his brother. And it never comes. Instead, he loves him. At every turn, when you'd think that anyone else would have given up, Jiang Cheng keeps loving more and more fiercely. Even in his last scene, as he leaves the story, he leaves you astonished by all the love he has given and still has to give.

(And he's a sassy queen which is a very important factor.)

5. Mu Qing (Heaven's official blessing)

Mu Qing is another character that was introduced to us in the most unfavorable way possible and as we go on, we learn that all his actions had been misinterpreted and this lil grumpy, sassy, bitter cat is actually very, very kind. And loyal, and insecure. and he does all his kind deeds without expecting anything, even acknowledgment in return even though he knows his actions will probably be misinterpreted again. and even though he has seen nothing but ungratefulness before when he helped others! he just never ceases being kind and going out of his way to help! because that's who he is! HIS NAME MEANS "YEARNING FOR AFFECTION"! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

6. Geto Suguru (Jujutsu Kaisen)

This one was truly "dead from the beginning". And you don't even know what a gentle, sweet, lovely soul you've lost until you learn this right at the same time when you learn you've never had him to begin with.

Geto Suguru, with his voice so soft, with his smiles so sweet, with his eyes so kind, with his manners so soothing, so full of consideration, with his heart so gentle that it will bring his downfall, so concerned with the thought of ALWAYS saving everyone that he forgot to save himself. So, so loved that he'll haunt the narrative till everyone who knows him is dead.

The doomed child, the broken man. Gentle, and so very loved and loving to his last breath. And even beyond (to the point that he comes back to life to save Gojo!)

Has anyone ever fallen so tenderly, so gently, As he holds the hands of the two little girls he's saved after the one little girl he couldn't?

His fall came so understandably, so naturally, you feel like you walked the path with him and nobody not even in-universe can blame him.

As almost anyone who knew him in-universe would agree, loving Geto Suguru comes very easy.

7. Wanda Maximoff (MCU)

What can I say about Wanda Maximoff? The girl who kept trying to grasp at the only things left for her, be it her brother, her husband, or her children only to lose and lose and lose again. The girl who kept choosing to save people again and again. The girl who was afraid of her power because it could kill people but still chose to use it to help others, who then came to the point that she took an entire town hostage? The girl who had to kill the love of her life thrice only for it to mean nothing? The girl who looked relieved as she turned into ashes when the blink happened? The girl who just wanted a little domestic life in their little house with her husband but had to save the world but her efforts were never enough? The girl who nearly killed Thanos singlehandedly? The girl who ran across universes to kill her other self to be a mother to her children?

And as Steve said, "she's just a kid."

What can I say about Wanda, the Victim, the te****ist, the scarlet which, the mother, the kid?

I love her so much!

8. Zuko (Avatar the Last airbender)

What can I say about Zuko that hasn't already been said numerous times and way better than I could? The best redemption arc I've ever seen. And one of the most adorable social disasters ever.

9. Azula (Avatar the Last airbender)

Azula's breakdown will always haunt me.

She was so cool, so calm and in control, so confident, and so competent you forgot she was only 14. Until it hit you hard in the face when she imagined her mother telling her that she loved her in the mirror. And you see her break down and scream, defeated on the ground, when she sees her brother with his friend. Victorious, because he had people who helped him.

But Azula was alone and let down by every adult around her. When she told her father "You're treating me like I'm Zuko!" you understand how all her life, she's been afraid that if she was "almost" perfect she'd be put aside like Zuko. and how being the perfect child for her father would mean being a monster to her mother. and she chose the parent who gave her praise instead of judgment, and even that parent's love wasn't unconditional. He was a narcissist and took advantage of her. when Ursa in the comics told her "I'm sorry I didn't love you enough." and Azula burst into tears IT BROKE ME!

10. V (V for Vendetta)

Originally I was really pondering whether I should give this place to Jamie Lannister or Xue Yang, Shen Jiu, The Corinthian, or Sansa Stark. Until I suddenly remembered the one character that I always fall in love with all over again EVERY TIME I watch the movie. How does one make a character(AND AN OBJECTIVELY TERRIBLE MAN THAT IMPRISONS AND TORTURES A POOR ALONE GIRL!) so charming, so charismatic, so lovable that literally everybody who watches the movie falls in love with him? (DID HE GIVE US ALL STOCKHOLM SYNDROME?!)

Also, every word out of his mouth is golden and iconic and delivered with such a unique personality. He's so interesting! He's simultaneously so nerdy and so cool! His actions are so cool and so is his style! And he's the personification of "freedom". In most countries, most of the time, people, each to their own degree, are fighting for their rights and freedom. V represents a universal wish, hope, and fantasy. V is the power of people. The courage, capability, strength, determination, vengefulness, the yearning for justice of tortured but unbent, unbowed, and unbroken people. and So that's a huge part of his appeal.

Also HUGO WEAVING'S RICH VELVETY VOICE!!! GOD!!

Here are the other characters that definitely deserve a place among the top tens but I just don't know who to replace them with because they all also deserve their places:

Xue Yang(Mo Dao Xu Shi/The Untamed): the sassy little adorable delinquent who thought he was at the top of the world doing whatever he liked because he could. and this time he had the power to take his revenge from the world that had him powerless, only to find warmth and peace in the name of taking revenge in the place he least thought, with his enemy and the kid who hated him. Only to find that peace and warmth were what he most wanted. Only to ruin it all irrevocably with his own hands. Only to die in the way of hopelessly trying to get back the one person who showed him genuine kindness and warmth. (also he's a sassy lil shit <3)

Shen Jiu (Scum Villain's self-saving system): The child-abuser scum who was introduced to us as the ultimate villain of the story. Until we learned about his story and how he died cruelly and unforgiven, with his name tainted while he only did some of that™️. While still a bitter man, and a child abuser, his heart wasn't so tainted. But by the time we learn that, he's already dead. With his story unfinished and his heart heavy because he never learned why the only person he deeply cared about left him behind. And nobody even noticed his passing to mourn him. AND EVERYTHING WAS BETTER FOR HIS DEATH!

Jamie Lannister (A Song of Ice and Fire/ Game Of Thrones): How can an author make you stan a character who pushed a little kid, and A POV LITTLE KID AT THAT! down a window because the kid saw he and his sister fuck in the first few chapters?! GRRM SOMEHOW DID THAT! Even if I'm still not very fond of the end of his story in the show, both in the show and in the books, he had one of the best redemption arcs and developments ever. (Though I started to like him when Catelyn told him "You pushed my son out of the window. You wanted him to die!", and Jamie answered: "Nah sometimes I shove kids out of the windows because it's good for their growth." Lmfao. What a little shit!)

The Corinthian (The Sandman): the being hated by his creator because he was so good at what he was created for he transcended the barriers his creator had set for him. so good at his assigned purpose that what he did was beyond his purpose. AND HE WAS SO HEARTBROKEN BY WHAT DREAM SAID TO HIM! And after he was recreated he startet being a babysitter to gain Dream's approval again. it was so sweet!

Sansa Stark (ASOIAF/GOT): from the girl who wanted to get out of Winterfell to follow her dreams to the girl whose dream became to go back to Winterfell, from the delusional little girl who lived in her dreams, waiting for her knight, who learned the cruelty of the world the hard way, to the deliverer of some of the most iconic lines of the show/book like "I'm Sansa Stark of Winterfell. This is my home, and you don't frighten me."/ "My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel." She went a long way and had one of the best character developments. In the book, you can already see her bringing her ladylike behavior and political game that she learned from the best in action to manipulate Hardyng and Robbie. Like Cersei's white mirror. But she still has the kind heart of the girl who once after being attacked by the commoners said that if it was some bread they wanted, she would have given it to them if she had some with her.

Honourable mentions:

Qi Rong (tgcf): my favorite little shit! The best dad! And what @jin-zixun told about his story in the tags of this post really made me emotional!

He Xuan (tgcf): he had so much potential and instead all his life he and his family suffered on someone else's behalf while that someone else stole all his fortune. Then during his revenge plan, he met that person and he learned that maybe had things been different, he would willingly suffered all of the misfortunes of that person's life (the ones that didn't include his family) but as it stood, in this life, they had no chance. And even after his revenge he didn't find any peace and happiness.

Klaus Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy): A sunshine who always lights up every gathering, and is always ready to help others and always sees the good in others!

Five Hargreeves(Umbrella Academy): A murderous, sassy, tiny, bitter grandpa in the body of a teenager who'll do everything for his family! what's not to love!

Nakahara Chuuya (Bungo stray dogs): *Wonder Woman's voice* A BABY! The grumpy characters with golden hearts who always go out of their way to help others and will follow their friends to the end of the world with many, many complaints and screams always have my whole heart!

Dowager Countess of Grantham (Downton Abbey): EVERY LINE SHE SAYS MUST BE WRITTEN IN GOLD! the perfect combination of sass and class! goals!

Fleabag (Fleabag), Thomas Barrow (Downton Abbey): I love cringe-fail hot messes who had no control over many shitty things that happened in their lives and what they could control, they fucked up and now have to deal with their consequences. but still, they push through and try to make the most of it.

Pam Beesley(The Office): the story of this seemingly unremarkable, shy, quiet girl who learns to pursue her dreams, and make opportunities for herself, and speak up for herself was one of the best plotlines of The Office.

Toph Beifong (ATLA), Ranpo Edogawa (BSD): the tiny little extraordinary, extra- competent, reliable, confident, super blunt, lovable cuties always have my whole heart!

Flynn Rider (Tangled) & Nick (Zootopia): still two of my all-time crushes! It's the charm and wit and golden heart while being an outlaw, and supportiveness probably.

Death of The Endless(The Sandman): she's so kind and gentle! Her presence is soothing! And to think that she's death coming so kind, soothing and merciful and as a relief to accompany people on their one last lonely journey is really beautiful!

Delirium of the Endless(The Sandman): she's so broken and mysterious and so desperate for her family to be together! And she sometimes bestows wisdom to others through insanity!

Desire of the Endless(The Sandman): such a mysterious and complex character! They're by nature very cruel. But they're also so loving towards their family. They're there for their family when needed (be it Delirium, Despair, or Dream. Even when Dream didn't want to accept their help they turned into a cat and helped them anonymously). And even in their love they're cruel, and in cruelty, loving.

Nebula(MCU): I loved watching her escape from Thanos's abusive influence and become friends and sisters with Gamora! And her stoic but awkward personality is so lovely!

Cersei Lannister(ASOIAF/GOT): one of the best-written villains ever. She never ceases to be a villain but you really feel pity for her. From the moments she talks about her loveless marriage with Robert to when you learn that she's a pawn for Tywin's plans to the walk of shame to the loss of her children. And her lines are so iconic!

Frodo Baggins (Lord of The Rings): he's so kind-hearted! So sweet! He tried and resisted so hard even though it wasn't his war! He's so underrated!

Mo Ran (Husky and his white cat Shizun): one of the best-written protagonists with a complex, tragic backstory and a lovable personality with a beautiful redemption arc. I loved him both as Taxian-Jun and as Mo Ran.

Chu Wanning(Husky and his white cat Shizun): a multi-layered and lovable character. especially as Xia sini!

Crowley and Aziraphale (Good Omens): my favorite sweet, pure, kind-hearted loser lover boys who keep saving the world by being so incompetent they accidentally get the desired outcome by a series of incompetence that cancel out each other!

Moon Knight specifically Steven Grant (Moon Knight, MCU): I've only watched the MCU miniseries and his story was so heartbreaking! And Steven was so sweet! And seeing Marc and Steven find peace and love together was very beautiful!

Prof.McGonagall (Harry Potter): so sassy, so caring, so steadfastly dependable! From Aunt Hetty and Marilla Cuthbert to Professor McGonagall, I've always loved these types of characters!

Dervish Grady (Demonata), Nanami Kento(Jujutsu Kaisen): it's the caring, dependable mentors that always show up to fix everything and you form a deep bond with them for me.

Sirius Black (Harry Potter): his fiercely loyal, extreme both in love and hate, and unstable personality, his being stuck in more than a decade ago, occupying an uncertain place as a father- figure to Harry and a brother figure to James Potter-...'s son, and devotion to his loved ones, and how he wanted to always be there for Harry in the little time he got with him for all the years he couldn't be have captivated me.

Griffith(Berserk): I'm afraid I'm also experiencing the same obsession with this tragically fallen bitch of a man as Guts continues to feel. He's so well-written and so charismatic, (so obviously in love with Guts) he keeps haunting you. Like I keep being like: "I CANNOT BELIEVE HE WAS THIS MUCH OF A BITCH! HOW COULD HE! FFS! EVERYONE IN THAT BAND WOULD HAVE READILY DIED FOR HIM! THEY WORSHIPED HIM! THEY ENDANGERED THEMSELVES FOR HIM! EVEN AT THAT VERY MOMENT, THEY WERE ALL THERE FOR HIM! HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO CASCA ESPECIALLY!". And then I remember how pitiful his state was before that. He couldn't even kill himself. He couldn't even ask someone to kill him since he couldn't talk or write. And he went from being the next potential king to that state. He was a liability to everyone who looked up to him as a savior. And everything he did, while a horrible shock, was still so in character! He wasn't inherently evil. but he was inherently ambitious, self-centered, pragmatic, and detached... it all just came in service of his dark side after his fall. And he got everything he wanted only to yearn for what he used to have. *sigh* this bitch.

Sorry, it got so long and a lot more than 10! I shouldn't be allowed to talk about my favorite characters actually lmao!

Thank you for the very thought- provoking question!