#this the one that made cry

[p1xelpc]

Why Life is a Tragedy

[ Plain text: Why Life is a Tragedy ]

My daily routine is usually very empty. Most days it goes like this:

My mother brings me my breakfast at 8. That consists of yogurt with berries and granola, protein shake, and a cup of strawberry milk (a small cup, so I don’t upset my stomach).

She says good morning and helps me rearrange myself if I’m awake. If I’m not, she goes to her office across the hall.

I take about 15 minutes to actually work up the energy to eat and take my meds. I play Wordle while I wait.

If I feel up to it, I go to the bathroom, change my diaper, use hand sanitizer, and wash my face. Some days I may brush my teeth with a toothbrush and water. Those are rare days.

After I finish, I stay in my bathroom chair for 5-10 minutes while I work up the energy to get back to bed.

When I do get back to bed, I decide what activities I will do that day.

If I feel up to it, I set up my activities around my legs so that I can do it when I’m ready. If I don’t, I ask mama if she can set up when she gets the chance.

I play on my phone and socialize on Tumblr and Discord. I try to do my activity.

I do that until lunch. Taking breaks every 5-30 minutes depending on the activity.

Lunch is around 12. It has been hard boiled egg whites, cucumber slices, and a small cheese recently. Soon it may change to a prepackaged lunch with crackers, ham, cheese, and mini cookies. I get another (small) cup of something other than water. 

After I eat, I decide what activity I will do for the rest of the day and try to set it up. I usually do not succeed and need mama to come help.

I play on my phone and socialize on Tumblr and Discord. I try to do my activity.

I do that until mama finishes work. She comes in to take my dirty dishes and she asks what I want for dinner. I want pasta please. She goes to make pasta.

I continue my activity.

She brings me my pasta and another (small) cup of something other than water.

I eat.

I do not do an activity. I may watch TV. I play on my phone and socialize on Tumblr and Discord.

At 8:00 mama comes to help me to the bathroom. After I finish, she comes in to help me wash my hands, wash my face, brush my teeth, and put on my Testosterone gel. We talk the whole time.

I go to bed. Mama helps get me situated. She helps me take my meds.

After mama closes the curtain, I play on my phone until around 10.

I go to sleep.

On weekends my days are different. Mama has to help me shower at least once (usually Sunday). That takes about 1-2 hours total. I need a lot of help.

Some days I have doctor appointments. I take around 45 minutes to get ready. It usually takes 15 minutes to get to the office. The appointments usually last an hour, not including wait time. After I get home, I lay in bed for the rest of the day and do not use the bathroom that night (I am too tired).

I cannot leave the house most days. There are many days I can barely leave my bed. Some days I cannot leave my bed at all. My usual pain level is at minimum a 6. I cannot speak, only make funny sounds. I require at least 2 forearm crutches to walk safely. I usually need a wheelchair to move. I cannot leave the house without my ear defenders on. I take a fully packed backpack everywhere I go. I need support to sit up and to stay sitting.

My hobbies include coloring, playing video games, making disability aid designs, writing, reading, and baking. My favorite animal is a Triceratops, though I only like the cartoonish designs. I like fluffy animals. I love Bluey. I enjoy learning about disability related topics. I read children’s novels because they are what I understand. I love going to the zoo. I love going to the library. I enjoy warm weather with light wind. I enjoy dressing up and doing makeup. I love ice cream cake. On days with nice weather and good health, I like to go outside and just sit. 

I have 2 stuffed animals that I take everywhere (Jameson and Gerald). I have 1 that I take lots of places (Fred). I have 2 that usually stay on my bed, but travel if I’ll be gone for a while (Kougie and Melon). My favorite colors are yellow, pink, and green (no particular order). I use a light Bluey blanket, a light dino blanket, and a weighted blanket every night. I use at least Little Pillow every night (it has smiley faces). I have a cat shaped pillow for my neck. 

Did you decide if my life is worth living? Do you need more information? Do you think I’m tragic? Do you need to give your sympathy to my carer as if I don’t exist? Do you know my sense of humor? Do you know why I am loved? Do you know my limits? Do you know what I am capable of? Do you know what brings me joy? Do you know if I’m a person? Do you know my identity? Do you know who I am?

Do you know if I am happy? 

Do you care? 

This inspired by Unspeakable Conversations by Harriet McBride Johnson

[chloesimaginationthings]

The actual lore in FNAF ultimate custom night

[hansoeii]

stede bunnet

[contactlessdrivethru]

just finished opla mood

[ralefaelle]

POV you and your bff did something dumb

[beif0ngs]

C'mon heart, beat loudly again! 💓

[sasswonfp]

This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)

[ruporas]

the blank ticket in your hand is just waiting to be filled in.

happy birthday vash! (ID in alt text)

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

[sillysundial]

☕️🍰 doodles

[let-me-sleep-or-die]

Anyone ever notice how similar Lydia Barkrock is to Gorgug? like just

Gorgug is a barbarian but is somehow the most gentle member of his party, the most thoughtful, easily the most in touch with his emotions. He only uses his rage to protect the people he cares about, his family is incredibly important to him, and his friends are family.

Lydia is another gentle giant. She is in a constant state of rage so she may protect her son (and the rest of the world). She is kind, she is nurturing she is a loving mother to Ragh and to everyone else who needs her. She also loved her party.

She and her friends set out to stop a fiend, to save the world. She’s clearly smart, even if she doesn’t have the classic knowledge that is associated with it she’s obviously intelligent. She didn’t need to know all the history, she had her friends for that. And then she was the last one standing, the only one alive, her friends were dead and she was holding the thing that killed them right next to her heart.

It makes me wonder if Gorgug could end up just the same. If the bad kids didn’t survive an adventure, he was left alone with his anger, his artificers instinct and a family to avenge. He uses his rage to protect people, he doesn’t like just lashing out, he makes machines so he can connect with loved ones, so he can understand the world. He’s so smart, but he doesn’t have to know all the history, he’s got Adaine and Riz for that, he doesn’t need to know about the way gods and the nine hells work, Kristen and Fig are right there. He doesn’t need to lead the Owlbears, Fabian his trusty captain will light the way.

What if they all were gone. And he was left,

a hole in his heart, an ache and a gentility not caused by an absence of anger, but by a deep deep understanding of it.

What does he do then? I think he does the only thing he can

after all

He’s Gorgug, he keeps going.

[artsy-1diot]

MANKIND IS DEAD.

BLOOD IS FUEL.

HELL IS FULL.

My V1 cosplay is done yippeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! :D

[beaulesbian]

Luffy + his very special flying hugs

[breezy-cheezy]

No. 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.”

Storm | Buried Alive

This part really struck me, and I wanted to draw it! Luffy is just trying to protect his little family, and while the Lapins nearly got them killed, he still helps pull one out of the snow....because he recognizes they're trying to protect their family too. And I love that ;v;

BASICALLY A PANEL REDRAW here's the panel

[sualne]

croco art

[synthe4u]

The stress was beginning to seep in. Your eyebags becoming more visible by the day. No one could tell you were more tired than the past week.

You were more quiet and less aggressive in your talking. You seem to have lost your spirit in a way, but of course, the man in the mask figured it out.

Ghost eyed you on the other side of the room. You were bobbing your head, nearly falling asleep before being shaken awake by the slight fall of your body.

You were being distracted by the lights and paid no mind to Ghost's wandering eyes.

It wasn't until around 2100 (9:00pm) when he knocked at your door. You weren't asleep yet. Your light was still on.

Opening the door you asked, "Is something wrong?"

You hadn't changed out of uniform and still seemed out of it.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"Why are you awake?"

You snapped back at him. You weren't in the mood. You've been tolerable all day, no arguments or fights, but it's clear he came to ruin that.

He stared at you in silence. The mask made him more intimidating which caused you to fess up.

You ran your hands through you hair, frowning in disgust at the knots in your hair.

"Just some family problems is all."

"Losing sleep over your family?"

You sighed, "What do you need?"

"Need you to sleep so we could complete this mission."

"I'm not broken, I can still do the mission."

Silence permeated the hall, other than the occasional fizzle from that one light the base swears isn't broken or haunted.

"Can I come in?"

The door widened a foot further, allowing the masked man inside. You didn't understand why you would let him in. You don't let anyone in your room, at least, not for silly matters like this.

He followed you further into your room after shutting the door, and settled on the side of your bed. You didn't have time to question it before you fell.

Collapsing on the spot, Ghost caught you before the ground could do actual damage to your body.

I guess the sleep had caught up to you, just as Ghost had caught you.

Sleep truly is not for the weak. Stay healthy, guys.

.............................................................................................................

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