#this was finished being written/edited at 5 am so if its bad. you know why.

[macisms]

fuck it...last minute dtamhd ficlet. i finished this at 4:30 am. [ao3]:

And when its all over, when Dennis has screamed himself hoarse, he's just...tired.

What the fuck is the point of any of this, really? He just wasted the whole day trying to get to this goddamn beach, and instead of relaxing like he needed to do, he had boiled over, ranting and raving and kicking at the tide until the other beach-goers scurried away with fearful wide eyes. His curses against the universe were carried away by the wind and swallowed up by the ocean, lost in an endless frothy tide. And all he has to show for it was sand in his shoes and an ache in his knees.

He's getting too goddamn old for any of this. The unsavoury thought tastes acrid, and he tries to bite it back, shove it into the deep trenches of his brain where he keeps many, many things, but he can't. He fails to suppress, and the bitter, sticky defeat clings to his body like the shitty piss-stained sand of the Jersey shoreline. The pretense weighs heavy on him, dragging him under. He'll never be the type of guy to drive a flashy new electric vehicle with an iPad jammed into the dashboard. He'll never be the type of guy who does weekend getaways, or drinks at classy uptown nightclubs, or any of that shit. Get fucking real.

The sun crawls down the horizon, painting the sky in golds and oranges - mark of another day ticking away, unfulfilled.

At this point all Dennis wants is to go home, crawl into bed, and skip forward to the next day. Even tuning out his friends' incessant drivel sounds more pleasant than another day of random people grating up against him, taking up his time and space at their own liberty. It's too late for him to turn his life around, so at least let him crawl back to his hidey-hole. But, no. The prissy little eco-friendly machine he rented ran out of charge, of all things. Fuel efficiency his fucking ass. He can't even call an Uber - the stupid car-app made his phone battery go kaput. Three cheers for modern technology.

So he's stuck on the beach, with nothing but his inner thoughts for company. Fine. At least there aren't any people left milling about - just him, the wind, and the sea. The sky grows dimmer by the minute and the air gets chillier even through his coat, but he doesn't move. He knows he'll regret this tomorrow when his back feels the consequences of sitting in the lumpy sand for who knows how long, but he feels held in place. By what, he can't say. Whether its because of the sludge of exhaustion creeping into his bones, or the hypnotizing dance of waves silhouetted against the sunset, or just the bite of salty air as he breathes in, he stays. And he breathes in, and holds it in, and lets it out. The bow of his back relaxes, ever so slightly.

He doesn't know how long he's been sitting there, watching the high tide lap closer to his shoes, staring into the dusky purple sky, when he hears the rumble of an engine behind him. He clenches his jaw, almost unprepared for the wave of irritation that swells in him knowing that some anal-retentive ranger is going to shuffle him off the beach like he's some kind of thickheaded tourist lout - he can't have a moment of fucking peace on this godforsaken day, can he? He turns to give the asshole a scorching glare and a piece of his mind, even though he has very little fight left in him and this confrontation might be over sooner rather than later - but it's his own goddamn car staring back at him from over the dunes. Not that awful yuppie piece of trash - his car. And (ruining the magic slightly), some very familiar voices coming from that direction.

"There he is!"

"Hey, Dennis! Is that you?"

Well, fuck.

Their faces pop up over the sand dunes, like - like meerkats or something, Dennis thinks, somewhat hysterically. No, he's not just imagining - it really is all of them, even Frank bumbling down in the back, nearly tripping over his own feet and the sand.

"Dude, we've been looking for you everywhere," Mac says, panting as he reaches Dennis.

"You would not believe the day we had," Charlie speaks, panting even harder. "Pressure cooker was a total bust, by the way."

"Which was not my fault!" Mac interjects, clearly anticipating an argument that had been rehashed many times.

"Oh, please," Dee scoffs, "It was completely your fault. You idiot!"

"Give me a break, Dee, if you hadn't tried to cook your own formula-"

"I don't want to know!" Dennis holds his hands up, mercifully stopping them in their tracks. Something agitated is stirring inside of him. "I do. Not. Want. To. Know. How the hell are you guys here?"

"Oh, easy, dude," Mac says, "We tracked your location."

"You-!"

Dee rolls her eyes. "Oh, you're so shocked. You know we shared locations when we were staking out that department store."

Oh, yeah. Let it never be said that they didn't have their bargain hunting/shoplifting strategy down to a science.

"It shut off after we got here, though," Mac continues. "Did you block me, man?"

"We've been driving around this goddamn shithole for two hours," Frank blusters, gesturing wildly.

"Also, we found your fancy new ride by some gas station?" Charlie says, "Weird place to park a car."

"But we called triple-A for it, so, boom," Dee finishes smugly.

Dennis blinks at them. Just half a day apart from them, and already their conversation sounds like a whirlwind to his ears, jeez. He tries to muster some righteous indignity, which he feels very entitled to - they caught him completely wrong-footed, and they're spouting nonsense as usual, and they're all standing around him while he's sat down like a chump, which he hates.

"Wh- well, how'd you get my car?" he asks, with that very righteous indignity.

"Stole it right out of the yard," Mac said, with a smugness that doesn't befit him.

"We rigged up the pressure cooker right outside the place, y'know, as a distraction-"

"Then I shot it with my gun-"

"The sound it made - bro, you should have been there-"

"And all the security bozos were so distracted thinking it was a bomb, we could just cruise right out of there!"

Dennis stares up at them and their expressions of wild, devilish pride, and comes to a dizzying conclusion: the life he has chosen is insane. It's fucking certifiable, is what it is, they all are, and they're probably going to end up locked up one day.

"You idiots," he says, but he's laughing, pressing a wrist against his mouth trying to contain it. "You goddamn lunatics!"

They grin at each other, so proud and pleased at having set off a bomb threat right next to a government facility. It sets Dennis off again, and they start snorting with laughter too, first Dee then Charlie then Mac and Frank, until they're all cackling like a pack of goddamn hyenas.

"Seriously, though," Dennis continues, pretending like he isn't wiping moisture from the corner of his eyes. "I'm going to kill you for touching my car. If there's a single scratch on it-"

"Hey, all yours now, bro." Mac tosses him the keys; Dennis catches them against his chest. "And, um, if there's a problem...Dee was driving it!"

"Fuck you, Mac! I was not."

"Well, it was really out of necessity. I mean, come on, we couldn't use Dee's car. Those things crash all the time."

"Fuck you, too, Charlie!"

"All of you shut up," Frank cuts off the brewing argument. "Look, we got a ripe opportunity here - sunset, beach, couple of beers, perfect to kick back with. Let's take advantage!"

"Oh, fuck yeah!" Mac claps his hands together. "We have a cooler in the car. I mean, obviously."

"Yeah, lets go get some beers! Come on, man." Charlie holds a hand out to help Dennis up with, and after a moment's hesitation, Dennis accepts it, though he nearly regrets it when Charlie's tug yanks at his already battered body and nearly unbalances them both. Mac calls for them to hurry up, and Dennis rolls his eyes but acquiesces to follow.

They grab their bottles of Coors out of the cooler and settle at the crest of the sand dune, their backs to the Range Rover. Dennis sits with one knee pressed atop of Mac's, and the other leg nudging Charlie's. With a smirk, Dee reaches over to clink the top of her bottle against Dennis', and then he does the same with Mac, and Charlie, and even Frank.

Then they kick back, sip their beers, and watch the sun slip into the sea.

[bleue-flora]

20 Questions For Writers

One as tagged by @x-i-l-verify and I’m a sucker for answering questions. :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

7 (and since it’s not many I’m going to color code them) - Wow that’s actually crazy, can’t believe it’s only been a little over a year since I first posted.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

129,165 - Yo, I’ve written a couple novels worth in words let’s go!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Dream SMP. (though I have a real angsty fic idea for MCU’s Loki that I’ve considered doing…)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

(Poor B is for Betrayal is at a disadvantage with only coming out this week lol)

Crow’s Nest

Which makes sense since it is the longest finished work and the most diverse in content, but it’s pretty wild since it’s only been since October. (I’m going to try and not assume it’s just because of all of the co-author, @midnight-fangirl01’s readers lol<3 :)…)

Dreamcatcher

Which I am probably the most proud of as far as my individual work, especially because the concept is really fun to explore. Hoping to finish the sequel soon but we’ll see.

Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop

This is the shortest non-one shot by like half, so it’s interesting that it ranks higher. I do make some kinda cool graphics for it so I’m glad people like it. Not gonna lie though, a combination of positive feedback and projecting has made it go much farther than the one shot I had originally planned. And since I usually do a lot of planning for stuff it’s no wonder that I have non idea what I’m doing lol. :)

Misery Loves Another Idiot With A Jukebox Where His Soul Should Be (Or umm Misery for short)

(Every time I have to type that out I wonder why the heck I made the title so long, I means its perfect but also you can’t even do a good acronym because that’d still be long…) To be fair the kudo count is really close between Dreamcatcher, Good Cop ‘Bad Cop and this one, which is interesting…

Back in the day, when I first posted this as my blooper reel I did not expect people to like it this much, but I’m glad I’m not alone in my affinity for torture box madness. >:D I still can’t decide which is more unhinged the hopscotch or the crucifixion… like my mental health this year was suffering for real… lol

If The Crown Fits, Wear It

I mean c!Techno should always rank top 5 so it makes sense. ;) As someone who doesn’t love to read one oneshots because I get too attached and sad when it ends, I can’t say I’m overly surprised at its ranking. But also still surprised. Regardless,it was really healing for me and I’m glad it seems to have been for others too.

(Ok though for real my first fic Hell in a Box being the lowest makes me kinda sad not gonna lie. Like it’s true that I think I’ve certainly gotten better at writing, which is actually why I edited it this summer, but it is the one that started it all and while it’s not my favorite work at his point it does have some really cool scenes and holds a special place in my heart.……)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always. Every one. They took the time to make me smile so the least I can do is share the love or fun. Especially when I spend a maddening amount of time on specific details it makes me so happy when someone noticed and enjoyed. <3 :)

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Yes. Oh wait lol I mean technically it would be Misery since there is both no ending and it’s more so a complication so technically it probably won’t get one. But if we are talking a finished work with an actual ending then probably Dreamcatcher I guess, because it’s kinda a sad realization, though technically it would have been Crow’s Nest if not for the co-author spoiling my plans lol >;)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean easily Crow’s Nest… I mean the ‘epilogue’ is like 13,000 words so that’s how you know it’s good. ;D

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

No not really. And honeslty my self esteem is low enough I’d probably quick if did. :) I did receive a hurtful but also wild accusation (from what I discovered to be a bot) that Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop was written by AI, which is funny because honestly that fic is really uniquely formatted with literal nutrition facts I designed at the end, like heh? An AI doesn’t come up with this.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope. And I do not read it either. In fact, I originally thought that all fanfiction was smut but after reading my first one that was recommended by a friend I was pleased to discover there is plenty of fanfiction that isn’t.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Haven’t yet? But I wouldn’t be the most opposed to it…

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, someone is translating Crow’s Nest into Russian, which is pretty cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes with @midnight-fangirl01 and it was pretty fun. Though the short timeline and time difference made it difficult as well as my canon compliance extremism. But overall, I think we made a really good pair and I certainly got some new writing skills. It is by far the longest fic I have worked on so I’m pretty proud of it and certainly couldn’t have pulled something like it off without her.

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

Umm I don’t really do ships, but Drunz is one that is cute, and I always try and keep my fics kinda open and up for interpretation for anyone who does ship them. I think in general my opinion on their relationship doesn’t change much on whether they are platonic or not.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I intend to finish everything I post whether it’s how I planned or less so, because it makes me sad when works are unfinished, and I like closure, however sad or open-ended it is. At the moment I’m struggling with Good Cop ‘Bad’ Cop because my writing is based on projection and spurs of creativity so I guess I’ve struggled to project onto c!Bad recently. I will say I actually wrote most of the end the other day, so worse case scenario I just post it, but I do have ideas for chapters before then. It’s just whether or not I get inspired to.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I’d say despite generally disliking writing it, character/actual person sounding dialogue. Also my detailed descriptions that help you visualize the scene.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Probably pacing, like I don’t seem to cover a lot of ground in my fics. And for the Dreamcatcher sequel I’ve been struggling a lot with exposition.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If you mean because the character speaks it then yes that’s fine I love character accuracy but there should be translations. Otherwise it ruins my immersion and it’s rude to make me switch screens on my phone and get blinded by the light just so I can translate. Like lots of people don’t translate for Ranboo and it’s really annoying.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dream SMP.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

How dare you ask be to choose between my babies! XD lol… I mean… I don’t know Misery is the most fun to write because I get to just be unhinged and I can stop or start wherever I want. Crow’s Nest is the one I’m probably the most proud of since it look a lot of lost sleep, research of characters I hadn’t done yet and we basically wrote it in a month and that just blows my mind. But I don’t know my favorite? Maybe Dreamcatcher I guess…

Hmmm tagging: @midnight-fangirl01 @elmhat @catsandgoodbooks @mistythedritten @draconixiaa @swordfright @the-final-sif … umm I don’t know I have no wifi so trying to figure out people to tag is hard but if you’re a writer and you see this consider yourself tagged and feel free to participate I’d love to see your answers. <3 <3

[caelumsnuff]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Game

Tagged by the wonderful sweetie that is @autisticempathydaemon. Thank you for the tag! Mwah!

Tagging @k9rage, @tepid-judas, and @nyssasorbit, and literally anyone else who wishes to play!

1 - How many works do you have on AO3?

15! which is. a lot mroe than i thought it was lol

2 - What's your total AO3 word count?

49,994. Don't let it decieve you though, a lot of that is from fics that i write several versions of for extra fun :3

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

Redacted Audio and Mo Dao Zu Shi (thus far :3)

4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5) And I Trust You (Redacted Audio fandom) 4) Thrill of the Chase (Redacted Audio fandom) 3) Grabbing at Clouds (Mo Dao Zu Shi fandom) 2) Kitty Gets His Milk (Mo Dao Zu Shi fandom) 1) You're The Sun in My Morning (Mo Dao Zu Shi fandom)

5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! I feel if someone takes the time to write me a sweet comment, i should take the time to thank them. I will reward engagement with engagement. Plus id feel bad if i didnt thank them.

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A Grotesque Perversion! I did almost bring myself to tears writing it, my beloved little baby man......

7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmmm probably You're The Sun in My Morning. That fic is ridiculously soft. Especially for something like somno kink LOL

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

Oh yeah baby!!! I sure do! Particularly for this fandom (Redacted Audio). After the onslaught of hate for my first pic, i decided this fandom has lost its privilege to have un-moderated comments on my fics. That has cut the messages down to almost zero tbh, but if i find a message funny enough i'd probably post it anyways lol.

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes!!! I absolutely love writing smut. Mostly emotionally meaningful kink and violent sex. I just love sex <3

10 - Do you write crossovers?

Not as of yet. If i did it'd probably be a crossover for some of my special interests.

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, not that i know of.

12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but i would probably cry if someone liked my fic so much they wanted to translate it so more people can read it.

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I am currently doing a roleplay fic with one of my best friends for the MDZS fandom! It's far from being finish, and we'll have to edit it after we're done, but we'll be posting it after then!

14 - What's your all time favorite ship?

Geez....... they come and go, but right now i am so caught up on Vaelum, they are eating my brain on the daily.

15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I doubt i will ever get past the planning stage of the David/Angel pet play fic. I have it roughly planned out, but i just dont think i'll ever be interested in the idea enough again to write it.

16 - What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions of emotions and sensations, i think. I feel like i can write a pretty eloquent descriptive sentence.

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

hm. Flowing from one subject to another. I always have an abstract subject connected to a tangible scene in my mind thats perfectly connected and makes sense, but the moment i try to write it down, i feel like it sounds like absolute shit.

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I could not do this with any confidence, and i probably wouldn't to begin with. I'd probably just give some indication in fic that what they are saying, they are saying in a different language lol. There is a small possibility that i would if i had a friend who spoke a different language to help me with it, but thats still a hard maybe.

19 - First fandom you wrote for?

Redacted Audio!! My beloved And I Trust You

20 - Favorite fic you've written?

God..... I feel strongly about almost all my fics, so i don't think i could pick only one. I do really love Quinn's Favorite Toy and You Taste Like Love

[senlinyu]

Thanks for the tag @simplifiedemotions

How many works do you have on AO3?

47

What’s your total AO3 word count?

994094. I feel like I've been edging a million words for like a year, and then writing nothing but minifics and one-shots.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just two three. Harry Potter. Star Wars. Edit: And Avatar: The Last Airbender.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Manacled

2. All You Want

3. The Seduction

4. Love and Other Misfortunes.

5. Height

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I don't. When I started posting on ao3 I didn't realize it was a thing, and thought that if I replied that people would think I was doing it to inflate my comment count, and then by the time I realized that it was the polite thing to do, I was in really deep and had overcommitted myself with update schedules. And replying to comments gives me really bad anxiety for some reason, I feel really bad if my replies are repetitive, or like one person gets a longer response than someone else, and so then I start mentally spiralling and stressing about it, so I've just made it a rule that I don't need to reply to comments and prioritize chapter updates as a way of making it up to my readers. But I do read them all.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably Manacled, that's the one that has hurt the most people I'd say.

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't. I find worldbuilding in one universe gives me enough stress without adding on a second one.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Quite a bit of during the last year in particular. I have resigned myself that it's the inevitable consequence of having stories recommended outside of their intended audience, they start finding their way to people who are going to hate them. And I've never prioritized widespread appeal or catered to a particular readership, so it's not surprising, but still it does get to be a bit much somedays when it feels like I can't go anywhere without running into it. But I'm coming to terms with it... and I just stay off social media and keep my social circles small on the days when I don't feel like I can.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have been known to. I don't even know what kind I write. I've done all sorts at this point. I've found that I don't tend to like writing particularly explicit sex in longer fics because I feel like it tends to distract from the focus of the story, but I enjoy writing smutty one-shots and shorter fics where I can give my kinks a full workout.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes... a couple times now. But so far its been something that's been pretty easily resolved.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I've been meaning to make a spreadsheet for translations because I've been trying to get more organised about fandom stuff.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Dramione is what I always come back to in the end.

Whats a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Too many, tbh. I have so many projects that I've started and now they're languishing in my files and I just haven't found them compelling enough to finish or had the motivation to rework into something better.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don't know. I think my use of language is fairly vivid, visually/physically/emotionally. That's probably my main strength.

What are your writing weaknesses?

My sentences lean towards being too short and choppy all the time. I can't write first person that I don't despise. I get overwhelmed by large casts. And I can get too easily caught up in overanalyzing my plots and picking them apart and thereby never finishing them.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I enjoy it when there's a plot point to it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Ugh. Hard to say. I have a lot of fond feelings for Manacled since I am pretty proud of it and I kind of... grew up as a writer in the process of writing it. But that also makes it a kind of painful fic to reread because it's hard for me to see the story people love because I just see all the technical issues and things I could have done better.

A lot of my other fics are based at younger ages like Eighth Year (now I'm currently writing a 6th Year fic) where the framework and perspective of the characters is narrowed by their age, and so even though I like them and really enjoyed writing them, they have less of a sense of resonance for me personally. I have a really complicated fic that I've been developing for over a year now that has probably my most interesting Draco and a very complicated Hermione, and if I can swing it, it'll probably be my favourite because it kind of hits a lot of my sweet spots story-wise. But god knows when I'll get around to publishing it.

Tagging: @bourbonrain, @lovesbitca8, @monsterleadmehome, @im-a-monster-fucking-princess @akashathekitty @wordsmithmusings265 @katsitting @littlemulattokitten @jmilzwrites

[mollymarymarie]

20 questions Writer’s Edition

Thanks @blitheringmcgonagall for tagging me in this! 

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

34

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

696,047

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Harry Potter (Marauders Era) Marvel (Stucky, Bucky/OC, Pietro/OC) And then one about Sam Kiszka from Greta Van Fleet (that I wrote as a commission, sort of) and one I wrote about Lee Pace (cause I saw it in a dream lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Lad That Loved You - sort of canon Hogwarts-era fic with a twist on The Prank (Remus and Sirius pretend to fight to cover up their relationship)

When It Counted - Remus gets spiked with Veritaserum and makes Sirius (and everyone else) believe it was Amortentia to cover up the truth

Vow Under the Covers - Remus is getting married. And not to Sirius. And Sirius has to decide if he can live with that.

Save Me, Save Me, Save Me - Remus thinks Sirius is in love with his neighbor and offers to help cook her dinner (Sirius and Marlene have to pretend to be attracted to each other, despite being VERY GAY, to cover up Sirius’ feelings)

Heavy In Your Arms - Sirius is the Slytherin prefect and has to nurse Remus Lupin back to health after a vicious full moon 

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

ABSOLUTELY - comments make my whole day, my whole week, I want people who take the time to comment to know that I LOVE THEM DEARLY

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It’s a one-shot, but the angstiest ending is definitely in Where The Willow Don’t Bend (the story is about Remus becoming one of the ghosts at Hogwarts, so it’s OBVIOUS that it is not going to exactly end ... happily)

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Generally, I tend to write all my fics with happy endings? Real life has enough terrible endings on its own AND I’M HERE TO ESCAPE FROM THAT OKAY 

But honestly, I think the ending in Heavy In Your Arms is QUITE happy :)

8. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I’ve never written a crossover! I don’t write for enough fandoms to have done that, I guess. Mostly just HP and Marvel and there isn’t a lot of room for crossover there, lol (besides, I haven’t written for Marvel in ages)

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Somewhat. In Show Me Everything I Missed, I had someone tell me they were disappointed with how I made Remus be the emotional weight-bearer of the fic. But it was DIRECTLY after Sirius had gone through a VERY traumatic event, so of course Remus would be trying to help him through it. I get where they were coming from, and I guess I should be honored that my characters made them upset? isn’t that kind of the point of angst?? 

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do. For me, I went to private school (read: religious), so it was heavily instilled in me that sex is bad and disgusting and dirty, but then you get married and suddenly it’s beautiful and holy and important? So it took me a long time to be comfortable with sex in general, even more so with the idea of writing it down, but the idea of “smut” is kind of nonsensical to me. We go through all these things as human beings and those are all okay to write and to read and to experience, but a BASIC HUMAN NEED for most people is something to be hidden?? I’m going on a rant, but basically, I’m tired of the stigma, I guess.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not ... directly?? I have had people tell me, after the fact, that they posted my fic on a site outside of AO3 but it was still listed as being written by me, but I didn’t have an account with that site. I was still sort of weirded out by that one. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! I had someone ask my permission to translate to ... Italian? I think? I can’t quite remember, but that was kind of cool, I guess. Again, it’s sort of iffy with those things because I think this was on a third-party site, too, so I was kind of indirectly attached to it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I never have! I have a problem with deadlines and working as a group looool I think i have control issues?? hahahahah 

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Wolfstar, hands down. I’ve been writing Wolfstar for, gosh, almost ten years. Which, comparatively is not that long, but it’s longer than any other ship for me

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have a couple WIPs for characters that are NOT Wolfstar that I’d like to finish (mostly the one about Cassidy from Preacher, because I have a MASSIVE Joe Gilgun crush) but I haven’t written on it in YEARS so it’s probably not happening

16. What are your writing strengths?

oh gosh. okay, so i’m not good at answering these. I think I write smut relatively well? I do pretty good angst I think?? My characterization is usually something people enjoy? (honestly, i just write them as MY own versions of the character, but people seem to agree with me for the most part??)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I FOUND THIS OUT RECENTLY - i am not always good at following through with a plan for a fic and also i am not good at writing down what i see in my head. for example, if a character has black hair and glasses in my head (but maybe not necessarily in canon), i often have to go back and add these details because halfway through, i’ll be like DID I EVEN TELL THEM WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE AT ALL??? 

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

oh i’m SHITE at it. I wish I could speak another language well enough that I could incorporate it into my fics, but I doubt that will ever happen for me! (I had quite a bit of French dialogue in We Can Pretend and it went okay, but I did have someone tell me I had a grammatical error because I just used Google Translate lol)

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

this is going to be a HILARIOUS answer, but ... the Good Charlotte fandom. I never posted it, just my friends read it (I had quite a few fics about boys in bands back then, I was sixteen) but yeah it was a total soap opera. Like. outrageous.

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

They all have uniquely special places in my heart, but I have two favorites:

We Can Pretend - Remus and his father are the butlers for the Black family, and Remus has to figure out how to take care of Sirius while hiding his feelings

Heavy in Your Arms (the Slytherin!Sirius one, and also Ravenclaw!Remus!)

[cherry-toxic]

Fic writer questions!

I was tagged by @introvertia - thank you so much :) Your answers were really interesting!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Only 8

What's your total AO3 wordcount?

141754

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Four: Beyblade (gen fics mostly), Shizaya (Durarara), Grimmichi (Bleach), and Harringrove (Stranger Things).

I usually sit in a fandom for a quite a while before I actually start writing anything. I'm amazed by those people who can get stuck in right away (how do you do it!?!)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. end the fight; before the fight ends you

2. Bound to Happen

3. Year of You

4. Broken Boys and Butterflies

5. So come take a drink (And drown your sorrows)

All Harringrove aside from 'Bound to Happen' - which I'm rather surprised came in second because the Grimmichi fandom is waaaaay smaller than the Harringrove fandom.

'end the fight...' is also the only wip here. The rest are completed one-shots.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes and no. It depends. I want to respond because comments really do mean a lot to me and I love rambling with people, but I have issues with online communication. Like, sometimes I write out a response and when I read it back to myself my brain just goes 'no that's terrible you sound like an idiot delete it now' and then I go 'yessir you're completely right how silly of me.'

When it comes to wips, I tend to reply to every comment when I'm getting ready to post the next chapter, that way it's like a little heads-up - new stuff incoming soon!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Y'know as much as I love angst I actually prefer to have my fics end on a relatively positive note (angst with a happy ending is my shit).

But I suppose 'So come take a drink (And drown your sorrows)' is overall pretty angsty and I left the ending open so if I ever felt like continuing it I could do so easily.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've ever written?

Big nah. Kind of like AU fics, they just don't interest me that much.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, but it came from someone who was just making the rounds on a bunch of Harringrove fics and they were highly suspected to be an anti so it didn't really bother me that much because I knew they were trolling.

I've had a few like, vague comments/back-handed compliments that got under my skin a bit though.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, occasionally I do. Generally I'd say I'm pretty vanilla, but I am currently writing an a/b/o fic, though I think it might go under non-traditional a/b/o because, again, vanilla lol

My smut usually comes with a lot of introspection, like they'll be doing the deed and one of them will be internally streaming a 5000+ word monologue (I do this with Grimmjow sometimes because he's a big virgin who views sex as silly human nonsense).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Parts of a fic, yes. I came across this fic that was clearly plagiarizing from several different authors (they forgot to change the characters names and everything) and I found entire paragraphs that were copy/pasted straight from one of my fics.

The thing is, this was over 10 years ago, something I wrote when I was... seventeen, maybe? So... I don't get why they copied it because it was pretty bad to be honest...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, an old one called '10 Miles in Your Shoes' (beyblade) although it was never completed because well, firstly, I never completed the original, and secondly, when the translator asked me how long I was planning on it being I said around 20-30k and uhhh... lets just say I overshot that by a mile!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. While I think it would be interesting to try I honestly don't know if I could give up control like that!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Hard to say because I tend to go for characters over ships. Like, I got into Grimmichi because of Grimmjow and Harringrove because of Billy.

But since Grimmjow is my all-time favourite character then, I guess Grimmichi, but Harringrove is definitely a close second because the fandom has spoiled me rotten with all their amazing fics (in terms of reading material, Harringrove is my fav).

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

'10 Miles in Your Shoes' - the bodyswap fic.

It's been a long time since I engaged with anything related to beyblade but I have a lot of fondness for this fic because it was the second I ever started writing and it was the fic that allowed me to truly grow as a writer. There's a huge improvement from the first to the most recent chapter (most recent being 5 years ago...) to the point where it looks like it could have been written by two different people, and I received so much positive feedback and encouragement throughout those years. I wish I had it in me to go back and finish it off but I struggle enough while writing for my current obsessions so it's looking more and more unlikely...

At the very least, I think I might transfer it to AO3 since ff.net seems to be slowly going under. Even if I never complete it, I don't want it lost forever.

What are your writing strengths?

This might sound ridiculous but I don't know? I always feel like I'm winging everything!!

I guess. One thing I've been complimented on a lot is my ability to portray messy (for lack of a better word) situations in a realistic way. I've been asked a few times if I've ever studied psychology and -

Nope

Just winging it!

What are your writing weakness?

EDITING!!!

I really should get a beta because I miss so many stupid little mistakes, like - okay - I always used to write in past tense, it was never something I even thought about, past tense was just the default. And then suddenly, around 2017/18, I began transitioning to present tense completely unconsciously and now every time I re-read 'Bound to Happen' I get angry because I bounced between tenses all the way through that fic and I didn't even notice until a year after I posted it.

Also. Incredibly slow. Lack of consistency. Perfectionist until I get stuck and then I feel like you can spot exactly where I lost momentum. Utterly hopeless when it comes to descriptions of setting/scenery. I don't think I'm very good at building atmosphere either. Dialogue, although I am improving at that.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I can't say I really have any thoughts on this? I don't do it much myself.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Beeeeyblaaade! I was fifteen when I wrote my very first fic (now deleted because it was awful!)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh god, this is hard!

If we're talking completed fics only, then probably 'Year of You'. That was my I-Do-Not-Accept-Billy's-Death fic but I WILL take all of the angst material from S3 and ride it hard.

If we're including wips, then both 'end the fight...' and 'metamorphosis' are probably my favourites right now.

'End the fight...' is my BIG Billy redemption fic which I started plotting out not long after S2 and there's so many scenes I'm looking forward to writing (yeah I know its been a while since i last updated but the past year has been rough okay)

'Metamorphosis' is the a/b/o fic which I was kind of nervous about at first because its not a trope that i read a lot of but i'm enjoying how its turning out so far!

Whew! That was a lot!

I'm tagging: firstly, whoever wants to do it because I like reading about peoples writing experiences (make sure to tag me!) And then: @shadowthorne @bentnotbroken1fanfiction @callieb @backwardshirt @memes-saved-me @murderlight @magniloquent-raven @aeon-of-neon @louhetar

[jenivi7]

First Lines Tagging Meme

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE TAGGED IN THIS TWICE!  Thank you @ink-flavored and @clyde-side !! (I almost just did this on my own too because I love babbling about my own fics...)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line.

Now pinned and under a cut because it became a really long, really good introduction to me and my stories! 

Hello!

Unnecessary and overly wordy introduction/personal musings: I love opening lines so much. When I worked at a bookstore, I used to open books and hardcore judge them on their first lines. I had barely any free time to read at that point so if it didn’t grab me in the first line or two, I put it back. The first Harry Potter book is actually in my pile of really good openers. “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” (Subtle alliteration, HELLO??) So I'm super excited to see if my own first lines come even close to the standards that I apply to other people lol. MY OWN MONEY IS ON NO. I have the feeling that I'm so frantic trying to get the story down on paper before the good words disappear from my head that I'm not actually paying attention to the first line. BUT LET'S SEE, SHALL WE.

So just straight up going backwards, I've written and posted TWO BRAND NEW THINGS after being away from fandom almost entirely for 10+ years! They're drabble length but they're shiny and new! <3 (All available fics are linked!)

1. Tango:

She teaches them to dance so that they can dance with her but when Atem gets that mischievous smirk on his face and pulls Yugi into his arms, their bodies spark and the dance floor smolders at their heels.

(The fic is so short that this is a full 1/5 of it but actually, I think I crammed all the good stuff right into that first line. This already might be my favorite. Like it says there in the line itself, Puzzleshipping.)

2. No Betting:

Anzu sat at the kitchen table writing carefully calculated answers onto sticky notes before attaching them to a fourth-grade math worksheet.

(Peachshipping! This one doesn't pop off until about line five so here's the rest of that bit:)

She had the same arrangement with her spouse as most parents had. When the kids were good they were hers. When they were bad, they were his. And when they were winning at games because they picked up rules with uncanny speed and read their opponents with more insight than ought to be available to a child, they were definitely, definitely his.

3. If you wanted honesty that's all you had to say (working title):

When he realized that the figure sitting under the game shop display window and smoking wasn’t Ryou, the physical body response was as though it had discovered a coiled snake not two feet away.

(This one! It's a NEW half finished(?) WIP. I actually started this one before the drabbles but wanted to finish before posting it. Then it got out of hand, then work got out of hand, then I started a couple more projects and well. I keep putting words on it though and eventually there will be a Kleptoshipper that turns into Puzzle and Tender for your reading enjoyment. Also, fair warning - don't use song lyrics as a working title. Every time I look at the document I get the song stuck in my head.)

Now we have polished up reposts of old stories for their move to AO3, where I'll basically keep my master archive. Not full re-writes but I fixed a bunch of typos and awkward sentences and they're much stronger for it. Most of these are from a pairings contest way back when so LOTS of different pairings and lots of AUs!

4. Human:

It was like a bad noir, the thought crossed both of their minds.

(Scifi AU, Rivalshipping. That one's not bad for a first line. Actually no link at the time of writing cause the re-edit is going up in like, a half hour? an hour? a half day? It's my next project after finishing this, finishing up the edit and posting it on AO3. Now with link!)

5. Blood:

Fingers through midnight black hair, whispers in his ear, touches that sizzled along the skin, awakening nerves and senses. 

(Dungeonshipping, Pegasus x Otogi, vampires AU. Oh that’s a nice first line! <3)

6. Crazy for You:

The keys are too large and too heavy for the doctor more used to more modern facilities but she doesn't say anything, just follows the orderly as he pulls the large door open.

(Manipulashipping, Anzu x Marik, Psychward AU. Still one of my favorites from that era. Big bold warning though, THIS ONE CONTAINS NON-CON)

7. Finality:

“What are you doing here?”

“Saying goodbye.” Bakura’s translucent arms swept across the graveyard. “Is this not an appropriate place for it?”

(First two or so bits of dialogue as the first first is a generic question. You can tell this is one of the really old ones just by that but it's a sweet, sad little Tendershipper that still has a special place in my heart.)

8. Pieces of You:

Glitter caught the light, leaving shimmering trails in the air as it got everywhere.

(Glittershipping, Anzu x Kisara. Another one that's special to me. Kisara is my girl and my first writing muse. <3)

9. Cambodia:

“It was summer of fifty three...”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, it can't have been fifty three. You might be that ancient but I'm not. It must have been sixty three.”

(Jiishipping. Yes. Sugoroku x Arthur. HEY, IT CAME UP IN THE RANDOM DRAW FOR THE SHIPPING CONTEST OK. And my writer's brain hasn't backed down from a challenge yet... Another one that takes 4 lines to pop off but it's a good start. Actually, here's the rest of the bit just because I cannot get enough of these two bickering:)

“What do you mean it must have been sixty three? You don't even know what story I'm trying to tell.”

“Am I in it?”

“What?”

“So you're deaf now as well as daft? AM I IN IT?”

“Of course you're in it, y'old coot. Don't know why I'd tell a story without you in it when both grandkids are sitting here.”

10. Coffee and Cigarettes:

"Cigarettes and coffee? That's not a very healthy lunch." 

Mana crossed her legs and took a refined sip of her own coffee even as her company was not. 

(Mischiefshipping, Mana x Thief King Bakura. Oh this one I'm actually sad that it doesn't immediately sparkle in the first line cause it's one of my absolute favorites of everything I've written. And I think it's the only time I've ever written Mana but I LOVED IT AND HER. Oh no! I lied, I've written her at least one other time though I don't think that one quite captures her sheer chaos energy like this one does.)

11. A Million Missed Chances:

Somewhere along the line, someone made a choice.

(This one. THIS ONE. I think this is by far the most epic idea I've tackled. I still don't know if the sheer scale of the thing came across in the actual fic but in my head it was massive and I remember pounding away at my teeny tiny laptop late at night because the whole thing hit me maybe a day or so before the story was due for the pairings contest. We only had a week to write each fic and my really good ideas never came to me before the very last minute. T.T Conquestshipping, Mai x Valon.)

12. A Fear of Falling:

She drove.

Like she always did when something bothered her.

(Oh the first chapter on this is also one of the really ancient ones. Like one of the very first things I wrote. That first chapter really shows its age and is a little shaky but the others are better and the last one is what fits into the chorological order here. Polarshipping, Jou x Mai. One of my very first ships. Probably THE first actually <3)

13. What Our Creators Make Us:

"Well, well." The match flared, scattering dark shadows until it was blown out and the only light that remained was the red glow from the cigarette end. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

(Psychoshipping, Marik x Spirit of the Ring Bakura. With a bit of Bronze, Angst and Tender in the follow up. Old but I'm ridiculously proud of it, hence it's place in the master archive. Ahaha you can tell how old it is though by how clever I think I am. I thought it was funny to make my audience figure out who was talking and not reveal the characters for a good fourth to third of the fic. Ahhhhhhh. Sorry about past me.)

14. A Revolution of the Spirit:

It wasn't fair.  It just wasn't.

That they were close was understandable (you don't get much closer than sharing headspace) but that even now, after deals were made with gods, endless arguments, compromises and the ultimate guilt trip that he had only been a teenager when he willingly sacrificed himself for all of humanity, things she had only half seen and only partly understood even though they had all been there to witness, that even now Atem continued to invade Yugi's personal space as though he belonged there got on her nerves.

(Woah Nelly! That third sentence should probably be three, four and five. Even if I just split it in half we'd continue the pattern of things popping off in the fourth line. I think that's one pattern that's emerging! A really good bit takes me about four lines to set up and deliver! Oh, the challenge was Revolutionshipping, Anzu x Atem, but the fic is actually Spiritshipping, Anzu x Yugi x Atem.)

So confession time, I haven't been out of fandom completely, I just hadn't written my own standalone stories in a very long time. There are a few (ok ok more than a few) long-running rps that @miss-moberg and I have been adding to on and off over the years. I can't resist throwing in a couple of these.

15. Cafe!

The door shut behind them with the soft click of the latch and the exhale of a breath long held.

(This opening line was from December of 2020 when we rebooted a very old Prideshipper and that is a damn good opening line if I do say so myself. I can definitely see the difference now between the newer works and the older ones. I've gotten better, she's matched me pace for pace and eventually something will be finished, I'll work up the courage to ask permission to post it and the whole internet will get to see how brilliant the two of us are together.)

16. Treasure Hunt!

"Ryou, I think you're going to regret letting me tag along on your adventuring this time."  Yugi didn't bother turning away from the airplane's tiny window to see if his seatmate was paying attention.  He was more thinking out loud with his friend playing the role of a convenient sounding board.  "Because I think this trip is the only thing I'm going to talk about ever again."

(One more from RP because it's got that fun, four line punch that we've discovered is a pattern for me! Opening entry is from 2017.)

Also, in truth, my count is a little off when I say I'd been out of fandom 10+ years. I've been away from YGO for that long but I did spend a brief stint in Homestuck where I read a ton of fanfic, flirted with a couple group RPs and even wrote a tiny bit. 9 years without writing a new fic isn't as impressive as saying ‘over a decade’ but it is a little more accurate.

17. What You Will:

In the land of fair Illyria, along a small, sandy stretch of its rocky shore, a ship has come to ruin and one lone woman lies still as death among broken wood.

(The beginning of a Homestuck/Twelfth Night crossover that I'm still determined to work more on someday. It's only got a single chapter but it's magic though now I'm concerned about not being able to recapture that. Not a bad first line though. The style is so different it took me reading it a couple times before going, oh yeeeeeah, that's pretty good!)

18. Relentless:

You pull him to the deck and then across it by the remains of his shirt. Let him say one last goodbye. His ship pillaged, his crew murdered, his hands bound behind his back and at your mercy.

Funny word, that. Mercy.

(The first line is pretty decent but there's that four line combo again! Five but I could basically fix that with a comma. Featuring the troll ancestors Mindfang and Dualscar because every time Hussey introduced new characters they were instantly my favorite.) 

19. Black:

There is dark and there is dark and there is dark and then there is black. She is black. Licorice and coal. She is hate and resentment and everything that tastes bitter, the kind of black that coats the tongue like oil, drips down the back of the throat and keeps going.

(Oh wow. Am I allowed to say that about my own work? A Terezi/Vriska drabble that I'm putting as much here as I think I can get away with because it's so good that it fucks me up a little going back and reading it.)

And here it gets tricky because I think the more recent of the old, old fics are in the Drabbles and Shorts collection on ff.net and I can't see a post date. So I'll just pick a good one to end on.

20. Two Princes:

It was inevitable as the rising of Ra's chariot after a long night, as the flooding of the river banks every spring, and Atem always knew that Yugi's kiss would be as warm and gentle as the evening breeze in the summer that brought relief from the scorching day. It was.

(How about the final honor going to more Puzzle/Blind? This probably has the strongest first line of its era. Actually I'm not sure when it was written. It was just hanging out in my writing folder and, thinking about it, I probably wrote it when I was fading from fandom the first time around but still trying to hang in there. No wait! That’s too sad, we can’t end on that! Lets add one more to the list for the sake of personal narrative!)

21. Linger:

The world doesn't need him anymore. It doesn't need his sword and it doesn't need his pen.

(A tiny Princess Tutu afterward that I wrote for myself. Nice one-two punch in the opener. Also it rounds out the personal story that accidentally developed here with a line later in the fic, "Words, however, never stray far from a good writer..." Like, wait, stop. Past me, how did you know T.T)

Did that take a sudden emotional turn for anyone else or was that just me. Can I offset that a little with an honorable mention? Let’s do that while I collect myself. Here’s one more.

Honorable mention: Ryou and the Thief

There was a storm gathering and too much magic in the air. Much more than occurred naturally and magic at this level was never a good thing.

(I can’t have a list of things I’ve written without having Ryou and the Thief on it. If you click on this one though, BEWARE, it’s old, it’s silly and it has a ton of explicit gay sex that… would be written very differently if we were handling it today I’m sure! This is the first RP @miss-moberg and I ever did together and our excuse to Gemship and Puzzleship turned into us running the boys through a whole adventure based on the Osiris myth. It’s the longest thing I’ve ever completed and I’d still consider it kind of my legacy.)

And that’s the last 21(+1!) stories that I’ve written! 

The clear winner of best first line for me is 15. Cafe! It’s short, elegant and manages to contain a whole mood even without the context of what’s going on and who’s involved. (Spoilers: It’s Seto and Mokuba making an AU escape from Gozoboro.) Close second is Tango, the most recent story. It’s neat to see just how much better I’ve gotten and also really cool to see that even if the first line itself doesn’t contain a punch, it’s usually because there’s a nice, strong idea being set up and delivered in the first four lines (or so). What a pleasant surprise!

AND WOW, this whole tag thing didn't need to be so long! Or personal! Seriously, if you get this tag from me the challenge is only to list the first lines to 20 stories and maybe try to draw one or two conclusions from them. You all thought I was joking when I said I loved talking about my own writing! But actually, I guess it’s fine like this as I ended up using it as a way to re-introduce myself. Like, "Hey, I used to live here a long time ago and oh my god I love what you've done with the place!" Rather than being someone who's just popped up out of nowhere a few weeks ago to creepily bother all your best of the best creators so....

^///^ Hello!

Thanks for letting me ramble!

Tags! I think I've seen most of the authors I follow do this already but on the off chance you haven't been tagged yet: @elexica (checked your blog to see if you'd already done the tag and saw that you're another person returning to writing fanfiction after 10+ years. Same! Hello!!), @danieco, @draconicmaw, @nedjemetsenen (has someone tagged you already?) and two shots in the dark, @miss-moberg and @edmondia (I'm so sorry you two. T.T Please feel free to block me forever.) And please, anyone else who wants to babble about their own writing! Do this, it was so much fun. <3

[teacup-tai]

Top Five of 2020

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

My lovely @the-starryknight thanks for the tag!  I’ll tag a few people, but you probably already did it: @ruinsplume @kasjophe @gallifrey1sburning @quicksilvermaid @prolix- @dazedandinked 

Right. This year was insane, I got stuck first half of the year in Ireland with only 2 friends close by, all my family in Brazil or Spain while I was writing my bloody master thesis (that is what I’m proudest of this year, but it’s not published yet, so won’t go in this list). I managed a lot of hard emotions in solitude, by myself, while reading drarry fics to keep afloat (great coping mechanism, actually!). And after handing my thesis and moving to Spain, I was feeling deeply empty. So I went back to fic-writing, after 2 or 3 years of not even looking at my old fics. 

It all started when I saw the posts for prompt claiming on the @hd-hurtfest  blog. To think how that post changed everything in my life is just bizarre. So I am very thankful! It has been a huge pleasure to go back to fic-writing and to re-embrace the HP fandom, mainly the drarry squad! To get to know so many lovely people and I’m forever grateful for that. 

Here is my Top Five:

hear me (with your whole body): (Drarry, E, 9k) this is the fic I wrote for the hd-hurtfest 2020. I saw @quicksilvermaid’s prompt and I shivered. It lured me so much I had the whole plot in my head as soon as I finished sending the claim. It was so hard to write it. Because the topic is very sensitive: open relationships, sexual mismatch, bad communication skills. I brought most of my bad experiences in all these sensitive topics as if I was purging it from my body while writing ‘hear me’. It was a very raw process of looking into my own still bleeding wounds, but very cathartic. And it was hard because it was my very first drarry (I love drarry and I normally only read drarry, but I’ve never felt confident enough to write it), so I was very nervous. And in bloody English xD LOL but I’m bloody proud of it. I wanted to write something real without making a show of blaming one of the parts, at the same time I wanted to use and unreliable POV (Harry’s) and to bring forth all those very uncomfortable realities of jealousy, insecurity of one’s sexuality etc. in a way people could relate to. I’ve never imagined the response to this fic would be so nice, and many of the comments drove me to deep reflection. I’m specially happy about this fic because after writing ‘hear me’ something cracked open inside of me, in my own personal-romantic life and also in writing. Like a small miracle. And then, I couldn’t stop writing anymore.

Rebel Rebel: (Sirius/Remus. E, 5k) heh, Wolfstar is my OTP *-* So writing this tiny fic with ‘there was no war’ prompt for the sirius black fest was a bloody delight. The feeling of exploring their youth, in the early 80s and the whole atmosphere of that time was exhilarating! Bowie’s concerts, HIV+ and Aids, queer community and old school crushes. Giving them a future and professions was fun as fuck. But the best part was making Sirius Black fuck around, wild and free, you know. Because he bloody well deserved it. I love the writing style I explored there, very influenced by Caio Fernando Abreu, one of my favourite Brazilian writers and it was just great great fun!

Dragons Don’t Know Paradise: (Drarry + Wolfstar, E, 40k+ WIP) I need to post 3 more chapters along this next few days.  I’m adding Dragons here because NEVER. IN. MY. LIFE I thought this story would come out of my head into the pages, and I’m so bloody happy, so bloody proud of myself. I cannot believe how much I’ve written in a month, about a plot that had some path in my head but never a shape, and how this all blossomed inside of me and how it’s coming out just brilliantly. I know I’ll think back at some point and think this and that are not great. But I think this fic is one of my best works, it deals with the queer community, with depression and acceptance, with HIV+ folk, and deep emotions. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of writing. And here it is, and writing it made me manage the fact that I wouldn’t be able to spend this xmas with my family, so I spent this last month with this characters and feeling the opposite of lonely. And to be able to write Harry having a family, you know, being raised by Remus and Sirius is just marvellous. I’m over the moon with wolfstar being great gaydads :D

Scorching: (Pansmione, E, 1.5k) first time I translated a Portuguese fic of mine to English. It was fun to do it, as it’s purely smutty smut and well, I love pansmione and it makes me greedy to go back to writing about this ship. I like how it turned out, but it’s not beta-ed so maybe it’s not great. But damn, I really like this Pansy. ^^

The Old Ways: (Voldemort/Walburga, M, 3k). So, I have a whole word document full of snippets on the Black family. As the Black family is my huge guilty pleasure (that’s why Tainara Black has been my pen name since 2005). I don’t like to think Walburga was only a mad pureblood bigoted woman, I like to think of her as being strongly magical and very sure of herself. Someone three-dimensional with knowledge of Dark magic of the old ways and a deep insanity that comes with legacy of pureness, but also with financial influence and  management of old wizarding land. I realised Walburga is only 1 year older than Voldie, she is closest to his age than her husband or brother (if we follow the Balck Family Genealogical Tree), and this sparked a whole idea inside of me. So this fic is a character study of Walburga when Sirius is only 10 and Voldemort is organising a war, and I honestly think is one of my best fics (even though it wasn’t beta-ed). I loved writing about this powerful witch, that got stuck in keeping her bloodline alive, that gave up on great deeds of power and freedom to become a pureblood mother and wife. But it’s the fic no one reads, so I’m adding a bit of it here in hopes it may interest someone:

He climbs the last step of the noisy, rusty, winding stair, his eyes mapping the place in silent wonder. The rooftop is sombre. Rough grey cement floor and dead flower beds in a far corner, big dark clay pots with dead branches and dry bushes scattered around; the only living thing is an imposing carnivorous plant, it’s toothed lips opening and closing sharply around bugs and other insects.

She is right there, in the centre of the chaotic rooftop garden and he thinks the house is in shambles, and so is she. The moon is reflecting its cold brightness over her as if it were a stage light. He takes a second to contemplate her stance. He has never seen her like this before. It is such an incongruous sight it almost feels like he’s intruding. Is not a feeling he’s used to.

She’s perched in a high frail copper chair, her ankles crossed lightly, with pale bare feet against the dirty coarse floor, one white arm falling languidly from the armrest, her elegant fingers holding a thin long smoking pipe. Rings of smoke rising into the night sky. The back of her skull resting on the back of the chair, he can’t see her face from this angle, but he’s stunned by the imagery.

She looks almost mythical; with her long black mane messy and loose, barely touching the ground. He can’t remember when was the last time he’s seen her hair down, but he’s pretty sure it wasn’t that long, nor were there silver strikes colouring it in a mix of salt and pepper.

“How long do you plan to stare?” her voice is as rusty as the whole house and he scoffs.

keep reading

[aiviloti]

my 2020 fic writer wrap-up!!

this is going to be incredibly long (a total of 1.1k lmao) so imma put a cut here, but basically thank you for being here all throughout my 2020! i appreciate you all very much <3

fav kind of fic to write:

i love writing about mutual pining slow burn process of getting together but i have NEVER WRITTEN ONE IN MY LIFE so i hope to change that in 2021

in 2020 i discovered??? humour??? so i enjoy writing about that and when people tell me i’ve succeeded in making them laugh it’s all 😳😳😳 for me

hardest fic to write but also most proud of:

to write you a song was a fic i struggled with from all of april to june which is very long?? to me??? considering i usually sit down and write things in one seating. fully fleshed ideas don’t usually take me thaaaaaat long to crunch out, but for some reason i struggled bad with this bc I really didn’t know where i was going w it lol

LA LA LAND gets an honorary mention of it’s own simply because it was 44k, and it took me all of july-september, but it’s something i still am proud of! to show how difficult it was to write/plot here’s the spreadsheet i had to use to keep track of the scenes and the chapters djkgfsjdfkjhgd

Shout out to kiroiimye , sweet , sirius and krypt for keeping my sanity intact

easiest fic to write:

this genshin impact fic: The Land Favoured by the Wind but its because ive been thinking about this idea for more than a month lol so the actual writing and editing took me less than 3 hours

there were several others too, bc ideas then to hook themselves to me then refuse to let go fjshlfgdfsg

fav fic to write:

Most definitely this sakuatsu monstrosity here by the name of Miya Atsumu's unwavering love for Sakusa Kiyoomi and an unholy amount of terrible food analogies that should not have the right to Exist lol, I only came up with the idea of Atsumu asking Osamu how to make friends bc I was friendship pining for someone at the time and then proceeded to write the entirety of it in a feverish daze! It’s as of rn my top hit / kudoed / bookmarked fic on ao3 and man, thanks for liking this as much as i did :’D

writing sequence:

i have to write from start to finish lmao i cant move on if the fic isnt chronological? the only exception was la la land bc it was too long and i had help from the spreadsheet so i alr knew where i was going i just had to write it down dfhdsfksfksdfhjg

deleting works:

the only fics i remember deleting are both first chapters of a multichap, bc i dont like having unfinished pieces on ao3, and far less if im not sure if ill finish them/if i dont know where im going w it!

if it’s dark history of shit 15 year old me wrote imma keep it there! it is an archive after all. go on, judge my fics from 5 years ago ahahahaha

best writing advice:

not a general thing and might just apply tome, but i tend to write in very convoluted ways and squish a lot in my sentences, or add to many unnecessary commas, so i received advice recently about being more mindful of the pacing and it’s helped me a lot!

worst writing advice:

none at the top of my head djgfkdsjfh if it’s bs to me i just forget it entirelyyyy

collab:

@actuallyasweetpotato​ (also aforementioned sweet) and i did a thing for bokuaka week!!!! you can find it here:  under my breath and into your scarf

wips:

9 unfinished zine pieces, 3 commissions, 1 exchange piece, about 10 or so other things

fav story of another writer:

favourite things 

manly man falls for manliest man krbk fic!!!

gently, like a winter wind iwaoi birthday fic

sunchaser krbk fic

JUNO atsuhina fic

best review:

dude i cried

and shoutout to tien , sirius for fan art, fan comics, fan animatics of fics ive written, and shoutout to akemiiiii for this song they wrote i am eternaally grateful

worst review:

no negativity today!

prequel/sequel to other people’s fics:

none at the top of my head hm, but if anything probably any of kiro skk stuff 

do i reread my stuff:

yes, but only if they’re old enough for me to go “it’s okay even if i dont like it bc this is old”

published:

hopefully! even though i do take part in zines and i guess they already have been published in a broad sense

fav/least fav chara to write:

no one at the top of my head! it’s instinctive for me to go ahead and think about character motives whenever i come across them, so if i ever write about someone, i usually just put my spin/interpretation of a character in a way that i can comprehend. the pros of this is i can write about many people, and the downside is that these characterisations can come off as out of character to anyone who doesn’t agree w me hehe

deadlines or goals:

if it’s a oneshot that’s under 3k i usually aim to have it done within 24 hours of beginning the fic. even tho i rarely succeed, having that as a goal usually pushes me to get it done faster than i would have if i had no goal altogether! if it’s anything long i aim for 1k a day, tho rn all my deadlines are zine deadlines and on top of that there’s uni, so to say im not stressing about writing would be a lie LOL

fav writers: (am too shy to tag but i swear these people are literal gods)

chonideno (mag): tumblr | twitter | ao3

batman (teesta): twitter | ao3

maplefudge (raei): tumblr | twitter | ao3

trope never written, would like to try:

aforementioned SLOWBURN MUTUAL PINING ANGST W A HAPPY ENDING GETTING TOGETHER!!!

but also royalty au

trope you will never write:

haha loads

how long have you been a writer:

began writing around may of 2014!! it was a horrible piece but im glad i started somewhere

influences:

chonideno/mag is one! maggie stiefvater who wrote the raven boys is also one, among many others

hardest part of writing: 

writing action? writing things that are happening right now, describing people talking, eating

easiest part of writing:

descriptions of people, places, feelings. internal monologues, the like

best part of writing:

sharing how i perceive the world w other people, and discovering other people agree

wip sneak peek:

cw: hanahaki, falling out of love

this was written in a friend’s dms lmao this is why i sound like this

something unique i bring to all my stories

i had a revelation the other day after talking to all my friends and realised i have really pretentious titles

IF YOU’RE HERE

did you know the wc of this thing is 1k words? idk why you stuck through all of that but thank you. i’ll keep writing in 2021, and all the years after that, and i hope i’ll find you doing things you love too :)

[kentonwrites]

Hiemal Update #2

So, I’ve been working on this draft for exactly 3 weeks (2 weeks actually since I was at the beach in between) and my current word count is 20,712. I’m like shearing through it at the speed of light. 

Don’t let that fool you though, there have been some major obstacles along the way. Several times I wasn’t happy with the draft and I would abandon it for a day, just to come back the next. It’s been a productive writing sprint, but not exactly a smooth one. 

In previous renditions of this book, there were 3 parts. I’ve gotten rid of the part system for this draft, but where I’m at now is essentially the end of part 1. Since I’m going to be extremely busy over the next few months, I wanted to finish at this natural stopping point so I can go back and leisurely edit what I’ve written instead of worrying about drafting part 2 just yet (I might get to that during NaNoWriMo!). A few issues I’ve noticed need addressed during my editing phase are:

1. Like always, it’s severely underwritten, scenes are thin, etc. I’m expecting to add at least another 5k to part 1. I know it’s probably going to end up being a shorter novel (70-75k?) but right now I feel like the chapter arcs are too rushed. 

2. There’s one chapter in particular (a flashback) that I am not happy with whatsoever, and I need to make the decision to either cut it and revise the chapters in the present, or just improve the chapter/its place in the narrative. 

3. Cleaning up misc. awkward phrasing/line edit because my first drafts read convoluted as hell.

4. I’m still a little shaky on the protagonist, Torr. I’m pantsing/discovery writing a good bit of this draft, and because of that the personalities of the characters now are sometimes unaligned with how they were in previous drafts. I don’t exactly know if this is a bad thing yet--it could just be because I see how different they are and automatically assume it is. I think Torr is more active now as well as intensely cerebral, and a more compelling protagonist. In my old version a big problem was Torr just existing and reacting to bad things that happened to her. In this version she gets to go out and experience things/make decisions. She feels much more mature, I think. I’m going to keep an eye on her.

Overall I’m content with how it’s gone thus far. I think once I’ve edited part 1 it might end up being one of the best things I’ve ever written, and since I haven’t been involved in writing for such a long time that feels great. It feels so new and different and experimental. 

Excerpts!

From chapter 14, “Smokee the Owlet”

I hadn’t planned to write this at all, it just came out randomly and I love it. It shows spiritually-conflicted Torr at her most unhinged. Content warning for self-harm/cutting.

Over the coming weeks I habitually trespassed the chapel. I returned several commentaries I’d finished, I prostrated before the altar, I replayed the scenario over and over again, modifying my actions until I was the heroine. I prayed to no avail. I prayed aloud to no avail. I held the chalice high above my head and asked God to shatter it at my whim, spritz my hair with glassdust. I paced the aisle reading Wisdom. I paced the chancel reading Van’s textbook. I pried a shard of tinted glass from an alcove and dragged its edge up my ulna and dripped the silvery blood on the podium, like it would rejuvenate the Spirit of God in this place, like the reredos would open a portal to the astral realms of Enoch. Each night I traipsed through the snow toward home, embarrassed beyond belief.

From chapter 17, “The Man in the Window”

This plot-line was never part of any old versions. I completely improvised it and it’s one of my favorite things ever. Torr is blackmailed into visiting the “town hermit,” a disfigured man who lurks in his window. This is a description of what she enters to:

I broke my grasp on the knob and ambled, knees stiff, beneath the entryway. My heart fluttered. The kitchen walls bristled with steel weaponry: maces, flails, morningstars, an enormous battleaxe. A harpoon taller than me mounted across the window. Wicked bludgeons, rusting spears, ulus, pikes, hammers and scythes. A grizzly leghold trap mawed over my head. Blades and serrated arrowheads on each square inch of wallspace. I turned to bolt, heat flushing my face, the safety net gone, plunged into animal fear. He shouted to stop.

“They’re not for you,” he said.

From chapter 18, “What I Did After Reading Matthew 5-7″

This chapter was also never in the plan. It’s formatted as a list, detailing how Torr’s behavior changes for the better (and worse) after reading the famous Sermon on the Mount. 

I shed my coat, my underclothes. Giddy at such an altitude, at such a slant. I sat in the roots and prickling thistles, laid supine, sunlight white on my chest and legs. Light snowfall down the valley; it clung to my lashes. I gazed up at the high blue cirrus, shivering, nauseous with the gravity, then at peace.

And, if that seemed strange, don’t worry--at the end of the chapter:

I asked myself who this person was, the one who thought about Christ and got naked in boreal forests.

See, she’s self-aware!

Lastly, from chapter 19, “Liminal Theologians”

I had an entirely different plan for this chapter from the start. Since the majority of part 1 is Torr off on her own, I wanted part 1 to end showing her relationship with her two friends, Van and Nik, since they’re instrumental in part 2 and especially in part 3. In this chapter they all go down to a bridge, fish, and talk about conspiracies. Unbeknownst to Torr (and me) one of them has brought alcohol. This excerpt is of Torr going on a drunken, TMI rant about her life: 

“I feel like there’s a lot nobody knows about me,” I continued. “I think about a lot of stuff all the time. I do weird things now. Well they’re not weird. They’re beautiful sometimes. I actually don’t know if I believe in God actually. Why am I the only one in the whole world asking the questions? And it’s all buzzing up here in my head and I have no one to share it with and I want to just scream do you know?”

“Torr,” Van said. “You have to stop.”

I’m going to take Van’s advice and stop this update before it gets too long. I hope you enjoyed! I’m not sure when the next update will be but stay tuned!

[lavender-lotion]

I was tagged by @lindstrom2020 for this! thank you <3

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

this was really hard. i’ve posted quuuuuite a bit this year and... a lot of it i don’t totally remember?? to figure out what i wanted to showcase here, i looked through my 2020 posting schedule and... wow. it’s been a long year, huh?

1. (baby) maybe that matters more - Teen Wolf | Steter | Mature | 16,610 words

the reaction to this fic (the comments, the kudos, the acceptance) single-handedly ignited a drive for writing teen wolf content that i thought was going to be dead forever after a serious of bad experiences. there are still some work i know i’ll never work on again, but i am so exciting to fall back into a world that i loved for so long. i can’t wait to see where this specific fic takes me :)

2. and all i know now is without you i could never find my way - X-Men | Various | General - Explicit | 55,310 words

this series is kind of cheating because 1. it’s a series and 2. i technically started it december 26th, 2019 BUT the other 54k was all written this year! lonk verse is on this list because this is the first thing that i have EVER written that has... transcended myself. i have birth to this four person, crack family, and i’ve seen it grow it something bigger than that. like, not only have i written 55k of this family, other people have written variations of this family, too. that has been one of the most amazing things in the world. i have so, so many plans for the four main family members of this universe that i can’t wait to work on! 

3. to love and be loved by you | MCU | Bruce/Peter | Explicit | 62,688 words

this is a wip, which... is one of the reasons why i wasn’t sure if i wanted to include on this list. another reason was i wasn’t sure if i wanted to include this on this list is because the rough draft for this work was completed in 2019. the reason it’s on here is because i am massively impressed with myself for having a work this long - a work that isn’t even finished! before i posted the first chapter i decided to edit this work. well, that “edit” turned into an incredibly thorough rewrite, and now the first 6 chapters are longer than the entire work used to be.it is the longest thing on my ao3. i know it is going to surpass 100k. it is. the biggest work i have and im so excited to get back to it in 2021!

4. patience is a virtue (i'll reap what i've sewn) - Push (2009) | Nick/Cassie | Explicit | 3,573

as im writing this fic currently has 22 hits and a single comment but... i don’t really care, because it’s one of the first things i’ve written in months that i’ve loved. i loved writing this. i love the story and the concept and the characters i got to play with, and i truly love the finished piece. it made me want to write more, and since usually writing is such a frustrating process itching to be done, that was amazing.

5. take us, together, like the stroke of a bow - Glee | Hummelcest | Explicit | 13,365

i love this fic. it is undoubtedly one of the longest smut fics i have EVER written but beyond that... it grew into a sprawling verse (that i just haven’t written it). i got to thirst of Burt Hummel, by first fatherly crush, and i got to write all the dirty father/son feels i hadn’t had an outlet for since leaving teen wolf. it was really nice to brain storm, really nice to read, and it’s a universe i really like to think about! 

honourable mentions (listen, i post A LOT): Lav's Original Fiction - some of my first ever original fiction what is the self amid this blaze? - really sweet trans gal loving its waters hold the dark of death - do i need say anything more than thunder rangerscest? i’d gladly break my own heart if it meant being loved by you - a really fun project i worked on alongside a close friend whom i adore Date me? - very fun fic to write of a sweet rare pair a single lie discovered is enough to create doubt in every truth expressed - my first ever team tony fic!!!

I AM TAGGING: @midrashic, @flightinflame, @stronglyobsessed, @elledelajoie, @ireneadonovan, @tinaxpow, @leviice458, @wolfgeralt, 

[kuronekonerochan]

The laziest compilation of thoughts about the mess that was Alice (spoilers)

I finish a lot of shitty dramas. Like a lot. I could review them, but I won’t bc there’s too many and I’m too lazy (when you ff some dramas from 45min to 5 per episode it doesn’t really count as watching too many dramas bc it’s really a commercial break, lol). Some I watch for the so bad it’s good content, or love hate watching or just to have something to watch while I eat, even if they’re boring af. It’s also a tiny bit of ocd bc I need to see how they end (even the ones I drop I check out the finale). I only drop the ones that as Marie Kondo says *Do Not Spark Joy, more specifically...annoy me and make me cranky.

I sometimes bitch about it on DMs with ranty spoilers without structure and that reference other unrelated dramas or shows, because ADHD and my mind refuses to stay on topic, which would make it probably unintelligible except if you are in the niche who happens to have watched the other unrelated dramas, so it’s probably useless as a review.

That said, here are some random disconnected thoughts about Alice.

MAJOR SPOILER ALERTS BEWARE

(this is like partly copypaste of DM rants bc I am that lazy biatch. Also, fair warning I will seem super harsh or this drama because that’s the thing about a bitching dm versus a proper review... I am not bringing up all the points and talking about the good and what I liked as well as the bad, it’s just the bad...and although the drama is imo a mess, it does have some good in it. So if it were a review I’d always argue pros and cons...ranty thoughs who cares about pros? boring..I will not be bothered with devil’s advocate).

This was fascinating to watch, interesting but not good... but like a trainwreck.

I continued watching this mess despite the headache inducing convoluted plot (I watched a lot of timetravel stuff and I love it...encompassing all the theories about it, from butterfly effect, to effectively changing the future (with characters forgetting it or keeping it in memory because “eye of the storm” theory, the “efforts are futile and you can try to change it but the future is set in stone”, to “small changes can be made but big events are fixed points in time”, to “every change creates a new time line” and multiverse, etc... and trust me, all of them can be done well when well written or turn out a confusing illogical mess and that has nothing to do with the theory chosen, but with presenting how time travel works for that story and what the basic rules are and sticking to them...or when something happens that contradicts them, come up with an explanation as to why that happens.

 I don’t mean the drama should be an exposition borefest with too much pseudosciency jargon...but this drama gives you too little in the way of rules and the viewers sort of figure out how timetravel works (which is not bad per se, huge fan of show don’t tell...but there’s a limit to how much they cannot tell or the characters chose not to ask just for the sake of plot and not without any logic to it). Anyways, the little “rules” that we gather along the way...the writing doesn’t stick to them and keeps contradicting itself without addressing or explaining it and hoping we’re so confused we don’t notice. Some dramas you just say “eh, forget it, it doesn’t make sense, let’s turn off our brains and enjoy it”, but here if I wanted to try and follow what was going on at all it required “brain on” mode for their convoluted plot twists...which also made me aware of so may plotholes the time road should have looked like Swiss Cheese. I could go into them...but I cannot be bothered and the list would be extensive and still incomplete, so I will just put 3 here bc I can’t help it:

 1) Hot Daddy with emotional turmoil the entire drama of “Oh no, I abandoned her in 92 and regretted it, it happened 1 year ago for me, and now I find out she died in 2010. How was she, did she suffer? What did she know? Oh god, if only I were a time traveler eventually going rogue who could show up and talk to her any time in the timeline between 92 and 2010...Alas, I have to live in misery with the consequences of my actions...there is just ABSOLUTELY no way of solving this. I guess I’ll just keep making unauthorized time travel journeys from 2050′s time agency back to the year of 2020 and only 2020 to constantly be blindsided by murder attempts on everyone everywhere without having a clue to what’s going on when I could simply go back to before 2010 and talk to the one person who is proven to know what is going on.” Here is where there could be a bullshit reason as to why he could go only go to 2020 and not before, but the drama didn’t even bother.

 2) They say Tae Yi’s mom was originally a time traveler who settled with her physicist dad in the past, eventually making way for her to discover time travel herself. The mom is missing and this is never addressed again. 

3) The book...who wrote it? Because I have guesses but they never outright answer it... and if the biatch author knew that stuff why the alice in wonderland stupid analogies?

 Coward, or petty, or both.... or maybe just a chaos gremlin godlike entity who wanted to watch them all squirm, like the author from Extraordinary You...and that I could get behind, but sadly they don’t go that metaphysical/theological with the plot...which is honestly the main problem with this drama. It seems ambitious in concept but it’s never explored decently in any way, not in the pseudoscience, not in the philosophical sense of the meaning of time/space/existence, not even in its relationships, with the constant back and forth and weirdness of it.

Besides the timetravel migraine, we had the weirdest directing, that made the relationship between the leads feel a bit too incesty...which was the main reason I kept watching this drama...morbid curiosity of how they wrapped up this mess of a plot AND especially the relationship payoff...would it keep being weird with trope romance drama scenes like the female lead and second female lead facing off and being jealous, or that weird hair washing that felt more sensual than maternal? I knew it wouldn’t happen but my inner chaos gremlin wanted kdramaland to grow some balls and go full “predestination: oedipus edition” with this mess. Alas they sort of did, mostly didn’t. Even that angle was a whole inconsistent mess: there were times where it felt too romantic, then for a short minute I misguidedly shipped the journalist friend, then it seemed the dude was ace, then they calmed their tits with the whole weird romantic vibes and it got platonic cute, then with the memory merge thing finally motherly vibes, then I shipped the journalist again for 1 sec only...and then the ending:

Alice ended with the lead solving every problem by shooting himself (technically) in the head...and that's the second meta perfectly fitting ending for a drama with a good cast and terrible writing that drove itself into a corner this year, after the sleepless princess ended with the leads jumping off a cliff. I don't think it's a self aware choice of the writers, or an admission that they themselves know it was bad, but the irony is delicious.

Spoiler for the ending: he undoes timey wimey stuff from when his mom first got killed in high school and closed the time travel door. So he became an architect and new Tae Yi just woke up in her bed remembering everything, but in reality she had just come back from a conference abroad and had never met him. So mom TaeYi didn't die then, but never got back on screen after the time undo so who the f knows what happened to her. 

Also, if new Tae Yi remembers, does that mean hot daddy from the future does as well, but he is just stuck in the future without a time door to ever see them again? The drama doesn’t care answering that and forgets his character is even a thing...I will miss you, my fave who looked emotionally and literally constipated 24/7 (it doesn’t care answering much at all tbf... a little known fact about the time travel paradoxes according to the physics of this world is that besides doppelganger chickenpox it induces severe lazy writing).

Anyways new Tae Yi went looking for architect (? okay...I guess) ML after she woke up, at first he didn't remember her, but it ends with him meeting her, apparently remembering her and they stare at each other... you know, like any bad traditional romantic kdrama finale....so there is still THAT vibe. 

Honestly, the usual romantic ballad score for scenes between the leads WAS NOT the most intelligent choice for this drama in specific but boy did they stick with it (not to mention the ending song... that goes, in english “we be like Bonnie and Clyde we ride or die...which...k, sure)...so technically the ending was exactly the cliche post amnesia running back to each other and staring for the final scene while romantic music blasts trope. Take it as you will.

[salted-caramel-tea]

Can you talk about how James Charles is getting cancelled again for same things

I just think it would be important for everyone to know and to be aware of who they talk to on the internet

Hi anon!! I’m so sorry about how long this took, I’ve been overwhelmed with finals work and I only just got to look into the controversy, which honestly I’m glad I waited so,, it’s analysis time bb. I am so sorry if this is bad I finished it at 3:50am

Before I get into this I’d like to say; I’m part of a community that has a large percentage of younger fans. Be vigilant of the people you interact with on this site. Do not share personal details about yourself with strangers. Tumblr is a difficult place to gain verification of identity so be wary of messages from accounts you haven’t interacted with before.

((TW:: mentions of grooming ))

My understanding of the situation is that James Charles has been accused of grooming by 8 minors over the course of 3 years. The most recent of these went viral on twitter and tiktok, prompting James to speak out and take accountability for his actions.

The plan for this was to address the drama from its source on tiktok, however since the beginning of my look into this James has uploaded a video discussing the events and instead that will be what I focus on. Just a reminder that everything expressed in this reply is a matter of opinion. This is how I personally perceive the situation, others are free to interpret it however they see fit.

I want to say that while I’m glad he stated the video covered sensitive matters the trigger warning at the beginning of the video is not effective at all. It provides to clarity on the content of the video so people know whether to avoid it. A vague warning such as ‘tw for this video’ causes more confusion, it could have been done better.

The video runs like a narrative, and while I understand he did this to provide clarity to his own thought process over the course of these scandals, there were parts that I personally deemed confusing or unnecessary.

5 minutes into the video he talks about how his behaviour was reckless and how he could recognise that in hindsight. The part that confuses me about this is that his next move was to talk about his love life and why relationships were difficult for him. in my opinion, this seemed deflective of the accusations. Taking the time to label himself as ‘desperate’ and discuss his daring history takes away from the matter at hand. He also prefaced this by saying he was not going to make any excuses, yet the tone and phrasing of this section of the video seems like exactly that- an attempt to justify his recklessness as a result of a bad dating history. It didn’t sit right with me.

This theme of desperation comes up multiple times and I’m glad he addressed it as being ‘gross and weird’, but the emphasis on this desperation acts like a reminder of his sordid love life and makes the viewer pity him by painting himself in a sympathetic light.

There were a number of obvious cuts in the video and it makes me wonder about the sincerity of the video. I Ann it trying to claim that James doesn’t regret his actions, but the promise of ‘no script no receipts’ etc draws speculation when editing comes into play. I am willing to say that they cuts may not have been worth anything to the video- eg long pauses could have been removed if the claims of no script are true.

There were positive aspects to the video- he sees sincere in his regret if his actions. It was evident that he had taken the time to educate himself on power imbalances within influencer and celebrity relationships, he has a clear understanding of the issues and tales full accountability. He has matured in his handling of scandals, and has promised to execute change to his own behaviours so that he doesn’t repeat any of the same mistakes.

The ending of the video I believe to be sincere, however it feels awfully rehearsed, similar to the conclusion of a written paper, which brings us back to the speculation over whether or not a script was present. I still don’t know where I stand on this issue, but if a script did exist it would raise the questions of why did he lie about it. Again, to reinstate, I am undecided on the matter of a script, I am not saying it was definitely rehearsed or that it was entirely spontaneous. You can interpret it however you wish.

The concern that I think a lot of people hold is that he has made this promise of changing his own behaviours before. On multiple occasions. He has displayed patterns in pursuit of dating that so far he’s been unable to break. I’m not saying I don’t think he’ll try to break the bad habits he has, but after being let down multiple times in the past, the public opinion is fluctuating between whether or not he will be able to completely cut off his toxic behaviours once and for all.

[thrillingdetectivetales]

2020 Creator Wrap

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

Okay, okay, I know I’m late with this but the incredibly sweet @irolltwenties and the utterly delightful @anthrobrat were both kind enough to me in this bad boy and it seems really fun, so here we are!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

According to my AO3 statistics page, I wrote just over 100K of fiction this year, across 17 different fandoms, a few of which won’t actually go live until after the New Year because they’re part of a gifting collection that hasn’t been revealed yet... Anyway, I picked my faves for a variety of reasons, listed briefly after each link. If you have any questions about works I’ve shared (or just in general) feel free to ask!

1. Front Row at the Gongshow

The Pacific, 16K, Rated G  Andrew ‘Ack Ack’ Haldane/Edward ‘Hillbilly’ Jones

Aside from being the longest completed work I produced this year, this is also the first fic I’ve ever written using the “found document” format. While there are parts of it I feel really conflicted about, I’m still incredibly proud of it and think it’s one of the better fic I’ve written...possibly ever. Which is doubly funny because I don’t usually do modern AUs of period fiction, but the hockey angle was enough to tempt and lo, here we are, lol.

[Excerpt from Deadspin]

"You all remember Eddie Jones, right? The corn-fed captain of the New Orleans Rougarou so wholesome he belongs on a box of Malt-O-Meal? The gentleman bruiser who spends his free time playing country tunes for kids with cancer?

Our favorite dapper D-man led his team to 97 points last night in a shut-out victory against the Los Angeles Kings, clinching a playoff spot for the first time in franchise history. Oh! And he also got caught on camera at the after-party, sucking face. WITH A DUDE."

2. Entremets

Hannibal, 8K, Rated E Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter

I have...so many Hannibal fic that I’ve started writing and haven’t finished because all my ideas lead to long plotty epics and also big name fandoms scare me. I did this one up for Eat, Drink, & Make Merry, and I’m really, really pleased with the way it turned out, considering it was my first foray into establishing new character voices and also a successful exercise in writing explicit content, which can be a bit of an Ordeal for me, so overall I’m incredibly happy with it. Plus! My deep and abiding love of writing characters cooking/eating/otherwise dealing with food finally paid off!

“The pâté was supposed to be more of a gesture,” Will explains, spreading a golden sliver of honeycomb out across a slice of sopressata with the blade of his pocket knife. “You don’t actually have to eat it. I’m not even sure if it’s any good.” He smears a healthy dollop of chȇvre across his meat-and-honey concoction and pops the whole thing into his mouth without ceremony.

“What better method exists by which to convey one’s appreciation of a gesture than to indulge it?”

3. An Ode to Matty Big-Time

The Good Place, 2K, Rated T Jason Mendoza/Original Male Characters, Pillboi

This one was actually a request made by my very dear @thesummoningdark, who wanted to see some bisexual Jason per that one fantastic Tumblr post about how everyone in TGP should be bi, and I’m really, really proud of the way it turned out. I love writing comedy and I very rarely get to lean into it as hard as I’d like, so delving into the whole wild craziness of Jacksonville, as explained in the show was really fun. I also love writing original characters, and this was a great excuse to indulge.

“We probably shouldn’t do any butt stuff,” Jason warns, with as much gravitas as he can muster. “I had two of Stupid Nick’s Disaster Buckets when I got here.”

“Yeah, your face is still kinda orange,” Mateo agrees fondly, bringing his other hand up to brush his thumb over Jason’s lower lip. It stirs a little frisson of heat in his belly that Jason is 68% sure isn’t just indigestion. “No chemical burns, though, so I think you came out on top.”

4. This and Who I Used to Be

The Tick (2017), 3K, Rated G Arthur Everest/Superian

Another new fandom I haven’t written in before, this was a fill for the Rare Male Slash Exchange that turned me on to a pairing I’d never even thought of before I wrote it and am now low-key obsessed with. It is also, to date, the ONLY Arthur/Superian fic on AO3 at all, which is a cool weird honor and fairly indicative of my life’s goal to eventually write my way into smaller and smaller fandoms until I come out the other side with original works. It was really fun to explore these characters, and to figure out some world-building for Superian’s backstory that fit within the tone and established canon of the extant Amazon!Tick universe. Also featuring an original character that nobody asked for but I’ve come to love unconditionally.

Arthur glances down to where Superian has one cheek pressed against his shoulder, humming something off-key and unintelligible with his eyes closed. Arthur sighs. “Let’s get you inside.”

He hauls Superian in until he can prop him against the wall while he shuts and locks the door behind him. When he looks back over, Superian is smiling at him, soft and lazy. He swings a finger in Arthur’s direction, a broad, sloppy motion, and announces, “I knew you’d say yes.”

“Technically I said fine,” Arthur rebuts. He gestures down the hallway toward the kitchen—which leads on to the bedroom, as Superian well knows—and sighs, “Come on. I don’t know what those handcuffs did to you, but you should probably lie down and have a glass of water or something.”

5. Rain in Its Season

Band of Brothers, 12K, Rated G Edward ‘Babe’ Heffron/John Julian

Oh boy. What to say about this one. It’s maybe not as polished as I might have preferred, but I feel that way about mostly everything I write and at the end of the day I do really love what I managed to do with this piece. Written for the Heavy Artillery Rare Pair Exchange, I managed to lean heavily into both my love for needlessly granular period research and original characters, which are abundant herein. Frankly, based on the very little we see of him in the show, Julian himself is practically an OC, but I digress. This was another of the longer pieces I’ve ever finished and I’m proud of it even if I’d’ve liked to write another 15K or so, time constraints notwithstanding.

“Tell me. Please. Why’re you here?”

Babe flinched, gaze dropping to the floor. His heart was a raw, swollen welt in his chest. He swallowed and licked his lips, slow and pained.

“Come on, Julian,” he rasped, low and quiet. “You know why.” He laughed, soft and hoarse, and shook his head, once. When he looked back up, Julian had taken a careful step into the center of the room. His eyes were very dark, his mouth very red, hope and fear warring in his every feature. Babe fisted his fingers in the cotton sheet underneath him, halfway to pleading as he insisted, “You gotta know.”

Julian sighed and came over to hover at the edge of the bed. Babe spread his legs to accommodate the intrusion.

“That was - ” Julian started. His voice failed midway through the protest, and he swallowed, took a breath, and regrouped at a lower volume. “You said that was just buddies, what we did over there. That it didn’t count. That you didn’t want it to.”

The TL;DR of this all being that while I didn’t write as much I wanted to this year in terms of volume, I feel like my quality has been improving consistently and hope it continues to do so into 2021 while I try to finish out some of my years-long WIPs and get into longer completed pieces.

I’m not sure who all to tag, so I’ll say @thesummoningdark, @blahblahblahclintnickiscanon, @thisbadge, @incognito-insomniac, and anyone else who’d like to join in and hasn’t been tagged yet! (If you’re the latter, feel free to @ me so I can see what you’ve written!)

Happy New Year everyone May the fanworks you create this year be prolific and soul-affirming!

[fantasy-muffin-author]

Writing Advice: 10 Worst Experiences During the Writing Process😭

The experiences to prepare for, and to relate to during the writing process. Good luck fellow author! 

10. When you are trying to think of the perfect word thats right at the tip of your tongue. (Its worse when you loose the word all together)

This one is at number 10 because it is horrible, but you are still mentally active and not ready to cry yourself to sleep. Though it stinks!

Solution:

Think of a similar word, usually the second one on your mind and look for synonyms on google or other sources. The word you're looking for or a better one may come up. If not than either choose one of the options or look for synonyms of another similar word.

9. When you write something that may not be correct so you research the topic for an hour. (I’m not talking about the big stuff you should have looked into before you started writing, exp: cultures, I mean basically meaningless stuff)

This has happened to me twice (once about horses and once about how to grill a pig) It’s second on the list because it takes up more time than the first one and it’s annoying. But usually not demotivating.

Solution: 

Do not do it.

8. When you read an article or watch a video about writing and realize you have been doing it wrong the entire time. 

Do I have to explain?

Solution:

Take in the advice if you like it and continue on with your book using the advice but do not go back and change what you have already written. Leave that to your editor self.

7. When you are irresolute (look it up) because of a family/friend. colleague/ exd’s opinion. (I mean they talk down at you for being a writer, or something similar)

This is hard on our feelings box and/or heartbreaking. But this list is mostly my opinions and since I haven’t felt the crush of this fully, its higher. I am sorry for those who have been hurt.

Solution:

Don’t listen to them! In fact, let it fuel you. Show them who can do what! Or who can be successful! You can do anything!

6. When you feel overwhelmed. This may be because you can’t make yourself forget that you have so much to do before finishing the book. Maybe your busy.

The editing, marketing, and paying are what overwhelm me. The writing phase is not particularly easy, but it was less stressful for myself. It may not be the case for you. You may still have chapters to finish, a world to build, characters to create. It could be very stressful.

Solution:

Make it fun! Make it a game and your going through the levels. Once your done creating your world and characters, you can finally write! The thing you have been waiting for months! 

Remember, you are building your world. Enjoy every moment of it. Because one day, you will finish your book or series and you have to say goodbye to your baby and creation. Enjoy it while it lasts!

5. Losing motivation to write.

Are you surprised this is only half way down the list? I’m not. Even though this is horrible, it's not the worst thing. There are simple solutions.

Solution:

It may be different for everyone but here's a few ideas that are good for me.

1.Start writing. Yep. If you just write, that motivation will soon come back. (This works best if you are very familiar with your characters)

2. Look back through your notes and future plans. Get excited, again, for your book or series.

3.Watch videos and read articles about writing 😉, they can help you get through the problem or just be fun.

4. Remind yourself why you want to write and why writings fun. its different for everyone but reading is an example.

5. Sleep, be healthy, socialize, get sunlight and fresh air, exercise. These can clear your mind, get you in a good mood and helps your overall day.

4. When you realize your dialog sucks or unnatural. 

This may not be as bad as some of the others I already mentioned, but dialog can help or ruin a book. Dialog can spark ideas of character development, relationships, sub-plots, or even how to continue the overarching plot. But if you do it wrong, it can take forever to fix.

3. When you are stuck.    You want to write but you can’t think of anything. I like to call this Writer’s Traffic instead of Writer's block. 

This is one of the worst case of scenarios for me as a writer because I want to write but instead I am staring at a computer screen.

Solution:

Skip the scene. Skip the next few lines. Leave a note for yourself so you can come back to it at a better time. 

2. When you realize you don’t know your characters enough.

It's hard to admit, but when your character is inconsistent and its not part of their personality then you have a problem. You may even have to rewrite most of your book if you’re far in. If you don’t know your characters and your on chapter 4 then stop now and save yourself.

Solution: 

Do character questionnaires, explain anything important in their past. Anything traumatic they have experienced, their personality, how they would react in a certain situation. It’s really important to know their background (Note: You need to know, not your readers unless necessary) 

Link to a character questionnaires. https://www.writerswrite.co.za/prousts-questionnaire-35-questions-every-character-should-answer/    also they got some awesome writing advice!

1.DUN DUN DUN!THE LAST ONE! When your writing (or lack of) has an effect on you daily life and you feel absolutely miserable.

You would be surprised how often this happened to me, It’s almost like a heavy depressed feeling that makes it painful to basically do anything. 

Maybe it's outside writing that makes you feel this way but you just can’t write. Everything is dull and grim, your head hurts or you have no motivation to do anything.

You just can’t.

Solution:

Use your miserableness as a motivation. You want to get rid of it, right? Then you must do what helps. Here's a few tricks. 

1. Drink water. Perhaps your dehydrated.

2. Exercise. This one is really helpful on more than your emotions. Do this before considering taking a nap, because naps can make it worse.

3. Go to bed earlier. If your like me than your nocturnal but if you simply go to bed at 10 then you will feel much better in the morning. I suggest reading or doing something other than look at a screen before going to bed. Screens can make it troublesome to fall asleep.

4. Socializing. You may be awkward but at least you have a mother? A father? Grandparents? A best friend? Siblings? Random people online? Anyone who can distract you, and make you feel better. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a pleasant conversation, just one that won’t bring you down. Socializing can make you feel so much better.

5. Get a horrible beta reader. (this is a joke...kind of) A beta reader is a person who reads your book or a chapter and gives feedback. A good beta reader is honest and gives praise and criticism. This is what I meant for a bad beta reader. Someone who you trust who will probably be scared to hurt your feelings. Even though it might not be true, positive feedback will help. 

That is all I have! I hoped you enjoyed! Have a Fantastic day! I will be posting again soon!

[kinda-iconic]

I have to say it...

I’ve seen a lot of negative posts directed towards fanfic writers recently, and can I just say that I’m actually concerned by what I have read.

Fanfic writers don’t do this as a paying job; we don’t get paid anything for this. This is a hobby, inspired by our love of writing and the characters that we write for - something that I, for one, have enjoyed for years. 

But it’s incredibly disheartening to see so many of the writers in this fandom receiving hate or negativity, be it based on a particular fic, their writing style or even sometimes on how long they take to update a series. 

Let’s be clear on a few things...

Writing a 5′000 word fic doesn’t happen overnight; it can take days, even weeks to finish a piece. In order to do that, we need to be able to find time where we are able to write, be it free time or even just time where we have the motivation to. I have had many days where I am unable to write a single word, or I spend an hour re-writing the same sentence because it just doesn’t sit well with me... @nk-writes can definitely vouch for this in my case. 

We have lives outside of this fandom; until recently (due to lockdown) I was working 7 days a week. I was struggling to find time besides the occasional hour that I could type out a couple hundred words. We have jobs, families, social lives and issues of our own to contend with - mine mainly being how much of a perfectionist I can become at the wrong moment. Writers have every right to put their needs before their writing! 

Writer’s block does exist! It literally feels like a black hole of nothingness that refuses to give you even an ounce of creativity. 

Fanfic writers will write what makes them happy; they will write for pairings that they feel comfortable writing for. I mainly write for Adrian x MC, though I have dabbled with writing Kamilah x MC too... I just find their relationship adorable. Some writers like myself will have a short list of pairings that they have/will write for, but that’s not to say that they don’t like specific pairings. There are pairings that I won’t write because I don’t think that I would do the characters justice. It’s a similar argument to that of why certain people won’t write smut or things like that - it all comes down to whether that person feels comfortable writing it. 

We don’t owe anything to anyone; knowing that there are people out there who read and enjoy our work means everything to us, but there are those out there that try to ruin our writing experience  - people that think they have the right to send those that work their butts off to create content for them nasty and hateful messages... you don’t. It’s just mean and reflects badly on your character. Sometimes we feel bad when we can’t make deadlines that we have made; I have written quite a few posts apologizing for not having things out when originally planned... because I feel awful about it. Sending nasty anons could make people feel a lot worse. 

Who cares if a writer takes a long time to update a fic series? I haven’t updated the Awakening for at least a year! Even though I’ve had over 2′500 words for that saved for over 6 months. It’s nowhere near ready to be posted, and still requires a lot of tweaking. I think I have like 10 WIPs currently on the go, and I write them based on which ones I have strong ideas for at the time. If I’m struggling with one, I leave it for a little while and come back to it. Writers, as well as edit-makers and artists, cannot drop everything in our lives just to get a piece done. 

These things take a lot of time, and it’s really sad to see that people are sending hate to creators because of this. 

To those of you that read my fanfics... I am incredibly grateful for all the kind words and support that you have given me over the past two years. You have been nothing but loving and supportive to me, and not once have any of you been negative or critical (criticism can be good, but sometimes it’s not). I am deeply honoured that so many of you have read my work and I am incredibly grateful for everything that you have done for me.

As for anon hate in general... and even that off anon:

I think a lot of us saw what has happened in the past week or two with regards to hate being spread within this fandom; what started as anon hate spiraled into people going for each other on their own blogs or into anons taking their nastiness to the extreme. 

It wasn’t necessary.

It was wrong and incredibly cruel.

By all means, if someone is doing something that is uncalled for or vicious in any way, then address the issue - but don’t gang up and joke about things that should NOT in any way shape or form be joked about. 

The fact that people think that it’s okay to send hate is beyond me. I just really don’t know why its come to this to be honest.

That’s the end of my rant for today, and I’m ever so sorry to anyone that had the displeasure to read this; it’s not nice, but I’ve had enough.