#this was so fucking good.

[erwinsvow]

OUHHHH !! and if kook trio reader somehow did end up getting close with jj (its nothing much they were literally just talking n being friendly) but it still caught rafes eyes!! and to him that meant being flirty and ofc he cant have that 🙄

but before he confronts her he will take it up with jj first though.. but u didnt hear that from me

rafe is a menace, but at least he knows it. he admits it. maybank is a dirty pogue, even worse because he takes no accountability. he's clearly playing with you, messing with you somehow.

rafe's been checking, he doesn't think jj's been calling or texting you. but he does know everytime he sees the two of you together, the blond is planning something in his head that rafe can't let him get away with.

kelce and top tell him he's been crazy. he's not, he's being fucking proactive, making sure you don't get defiled by some pogue trash. another thought slips in—defiled by maybank before rafe can defile you.

he corners jj at the beach one day, approaching him and trying to make sure he doesn't dart away before he gets this conversation taken care of.

"hey pogue. gotta talk to you. listen up."

"think i'm gonna pass, rafe, how bout you leave me a voicemail and i'll get back to you never-"

"shut it before i kick you even harder than your dad does. stay away from her." rafe looks him in the eyes, fist clenching. he can't leave a mark on him yet, you'll find out and then you'll get mad like you always do.

"don't know who you're talkin' about. your step-mom? tell her to stop callin' me first-"

"you know exactly who m'talking about. stop talkin' to her. stop lookin' at her. don't even go near her. y'think i'm playin' around? try me. i'll ruin your life and all your little friends too."

jj stares back at him. he wants to swing, knows it since jj's just like him.

"nice chattin', bud. won't be seein' you around, i'm sure."

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[noperopesaredope]

I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Literally the funniest post on this website

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[somewhatvellum]

this will sureily convince the people that the royal family are not out of touch moneywasters and that we should be happy keeping them around for sure

[artstetic-real]

happy pride. or whatever

[puppyboypatrick]

online friends are like. i would trust you with my life. i have never seen your knees

[butchdykekondraki]

all queer discourse could be stopped if we all just remembered that in the eyes of conservative fascists we're all dirty queers polluting their kids minds who need to be eradicated at all costs

[nekurothings]

FOCUS!!

[et-in-arkadia]

this is such incredible advice for creating any kind of art i have to put it over here to remind myself

[problemnyatic]

"I think this Category of human being is disposable" okay that not only sucks and is fascist but also makes getting you to deem someone to be disposable a simple matter of convincing you they're in The Category regardless of the truth. Also The Category is often misapplied to a vulnerable minority because it makes people like you agree they're disposable.

"Anyone who disagrees with me about The Category of people being disposable is a Category apologist or probably also in The Category themselves" Oh so you're just totally unconcerned with truth or justice or ethics or human rights and just are feeding your bloodlust for the sake of revenge fantasies. got it 👍

[xshinina]

*Married life playing in the background

This idea was probably funnier in my head