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witchcraft-in-wonderland · 4 years

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The Rose Prince (Pt.1)

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There were two things Roman trusted in the twisted puppet show that was his life, two things he knew werent a fabricated stage of wired and strings. His brother Remus, and his own gut.

Remus was trustworthy because he was unpredictable, everything else in the castle was a code that could be cracked, a machine that could be exploited and forced into malfunction if dealt with properly.

Remus, however, was human. You could ask him for something and maybe he would give it to you, or spit in your face, the possibilities were endless. And that's what Roman liked about it all, about the uncertainty, the changes and shifts, it meant that things wouldnt stay dull and stale and boring.

Whereas if Remus hadnt been there, all Roman would be left with was the painfully obvious whirring of cogs and gears, the blinking red lights of cameras that broadcasted the prince's every move for all the world to see, stale conversations with machines who, despite Remus' best efforts, still seemed to slip up when referring to him correctly.

This was life for the Kingdom of Roses and Ice, princes and princesses were not to be raised around other people, for fear it might corrupt them. They were to be sent to a separate castle of strings and wires, and taught there how to be the perfect stone-faced statues, the picture of grace and nobility. The perfect bride and wife, or groom and husband, and the perfect king and ruler. The process lasted until they were eighteen, where upon its end they would be married off to the husband or wife of their parents choosing, or, should they fail in the task of perfection, risk being trapped under lock and gear forever.

Roman often wondered just how many of the castle's enchanted servants were once like him, regal, special, important. He wondered what they might have done to warrant such a curse, and if he'd already done the same thing.

But he worried no more for himself than he did for Remus, Remus was uncontrollable, a wild card if there ever had been and wild cards were not tolerated in the seat of the throne room.

He wondered if there had ever been royalty who tried to keep their children in the main castle, were they sent to die here to? Perhaps forced to bare another curse? This was Roman's least favorite topic to ponder, because then he started wondering if his parents had ever tried to rebel, whether they had tried to keep their children within the true castle, safe from the curse that would befall them should they fail in the task of perfection.

"Romaaaannnnnnn," Remus' voice drawled from nearby, but Roman couldn't quite focus on it.

"Hey snot-face I'm talking to you," and then he felt a sharp tap on the back of the head.

"Ow! Remus!" Roman whirled around in his seat, holding the spot which Remus had hit.

"You're thinking again, I was getting worried," Remus said with a laugh.

"Well what did you have to go and snap me out of it for!" Roman replied angrily.

"Because when you start thinking you usually reach the topic of mom and mom and then you start crying and I really dont think crying is a good way to spend our last day in this hellhole," Remus replied, Roman gave a start and rushed to the calendar.

And sure enough, there it was, June Fourth.

Remus could have gotten out two years earlier, but, in his words 'like hell I'm going to let Roman stay here by himself, you'll have to kill me first,'. Which did in fact not make Roman feel any better, but rather much worse, who knew what an open act of rebellion might mean.

"Well I guess I better get dressed then hm?" Roman said, almost whispering, as though he dared not believe it was truly time to leave, as though he thought they might stay in the false castle forever.

But soon enough they were standing on the steps of the true palace, a grandiose structure that looked as if it were made of snow and glass and ice. Roman smoothed down the hem of his skirt and straightened his back up as best he could, his binder felt tight around his chest, he wondered whether it was nerves or something else.

"You may enter the Palace of Frozen Rose," a voice said as the doors opened, Roman felt his stomach twisting like a worm on a hook. He looked up at Remus, who merely nodded as they walked inside.

If the outside was anything to marvel at, the inside was almost twice that. Statues of all sorts lined the walls, like larger than life music box dancers. The floors glistened with light reflected from the outside, creating a variety of colors across the floor.

But Roman couldnt focus on that now, he had to keep his head forward, poised on what was in front of him, gaze never lingering elsewhere, that was what made an obedient ruler.

"Good morning, Prince Roman, and Crown Prince Remus," Roman had to hold back a sigh of relief as his mother uttered the words. They'd passed, Remus was to be a a Crown Prince, the future king, and Roman was safe, all he had to do now was marry, and he'd be happy again.

"Good morning Queen Elizabeth and Queen Belladonna," Roman and Remus said in unison, Roman's voice carrying much louder than his brother's. Roman couldve sworn he saw the hint of a smile on his mothers' faces.

Almost as soon as the introductions began, the twins were shepherded to separate parts of the castle, no doubt to prepare themselves for the men selected by their mothers'.

Moments later Roman was dressed in a white sweater that hung off his shoulders, a red hoodie wrapped around his waist, skinny jeans, and white boots. Upon his face was glittering white eyeshadow and lipstick red as blood, and just like that he felt as though he'd never left the false castle, as though he was a puppet like those that had taken care of him for eighteen years. Of course,he didnt voice this, that wouldve been a foolish decision. So he did as told, walking down the hall, smiling and waving and watching as the ballroom inched closer and closer.

Roman felt the spotlight on himself as soon as he entered the room, like a bright sun meant just to reveal himself to the world.

"The Rose Prince has arrived to the court," Roman heard someone announce, the room went quiet, Roman tried desperately to find his brother, but could see nothing. He felt himself being pulled down the stairs, all eyes were on him, burning into his skin. He heard whispers, he knew they were about him.

Roman wasnt allowed on the dance floor for more than a minute or two, immediately being taken to the throne instead. Roman watched enviously as the other guests danced and partied as he was forced to sit and stare from a gilded silver throne.

"The Crown Prince of Thorns has arrived to the court," Roman looked up, and there was his brother, dressed in robes of jade and black, looking as though he'd very much like to bite the guards escorting him to his throne.

The party carried on as though no one seemed to realize the princes weren't joining in the festivities.

And one by one the guests began to leave, until there were exactly four men standing in front of the throne. Remus was beckoned to stand, and he did so, bowing slightly when he reached his full height.

The first man stepped forward, he was short, with light brown curls of hair that had shades of blue and pink flecked throughout. He had round-framed white glasses perched on his face, and his eyes were a contrast of white that faded to a shade of pink.

"Emile Picani, Prince of Orchards," said the voice that had announced Roman and Remus' arrival. Emile gave a slight bow and looked up at Remus as if expecting him to say something scornful. Remus merely smiled, Emile waited a few seconds before rushing to stand on one side of him.

The second boy was a slight bit taller than Emile, but nowhere near the height of Remus, with light brown skin and brown hair, his eyes were a deep shade of blue that made them seem almost black in color.

"Patton Boleyn, Prince of Gems and Jewels," the voice said, Patton rushed up to stand on the other side of Remus' throne. Roman was beginning to peice together what was going on.

He watched as the third man stepped forward, taller than almost everyone else in the room, with striking yellow eyes that stood out against his dark complexion and a black hat perched on his head, his face was covered in burns, yet it didnt not take away from his features, Roman could hardly keep his eyes off him.

"Janus Ryder, Crown Prince of Serpents," Janus approached Roman's throne, removed his hat, bowed, and placed a kiss on Roman's hand before going to stand next to his throne. Roman had to struggle not to blush furiously at the gesture.

The fourth and final man was dressed in vibrant midnight blue, with specks of white scattered throughout his dress like stars, and upon his face were round black glasses.

"Logan Sanders, Prince of Stars," the voice said, Logan gave a bow, crossing his legs as he did so, and took his place next to Roman's throne.

"After tomorrow, the Prince of Roses will be escorted to the kingdom of the Crown Prince of Serpents and Prince of Stars, the Prince of Orchards and Prince of Gems and Jewels will remain within the castle alongside the Crown Prince of Thorns," Roman felt faint, he'd only been there for a day and he was expected to leave soon after? And what of Remus? Were they never to see each other again?

But he kept a blank expression on his face as he and Remus repeating their instructions, the four other princes giving various reactions, the most common of which seemed to be worry.

Soon enough their suitors were taken from the room, and Roman and Remus were alone, until finally, they were allowed to their rooms.

And Roman screamed. Never before had he felt like this, confused, upset, trapped, in all the years he'd spent in that palace-shaped prison, he'd never felt as stuck as he was now. The only solace he could find was the walls of his room, where no creature except himself could hear. So he screamed, he screamed and cried and thrashed until he felt numb and limp and sick.

One day before he was to be married off to two men he'd never so much as looked at before.

One day before he would be separated from his brother, potentially forever.

One day before he became something worse than a puppet.

One day before he became a pawn in a game he was fully aware was being played.

Prince Roman did not dream that night, not even a nightmare. He simply slept, with fear and dread sinking into his stomach.

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urartian · 3 years

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um. unpopular opinion probably. but ive been thinking about this a LOT and ive come to realize that the 15x09 prayer scene is. eh. ok listen. dean had a right to be angry. and im not saying that what cas did—im not saying he was in the wrong but he wasnt in the right either. and dean telling cas “what does that something always seem to be you?” was 100% uncalled for. but he had a right to be angry, just like cas had a right to be upset that dean told him that and that he didnt stop him. cas not telling dean about jack—obviously he didnt have bad intentions but yeah. deans feelings were totally valid. anyway, i think that prayer wouldve made more sense if dean was like “what you did was bad and i’ll never forget but youre my best friend and i need you. when things go wrong i say stuff i dont mean and for that im truly sorry cas” like obviously im not wording this well im not a writer but you get the gist. i just. think that scene couldve been handled better. dean praying to cas made perfect sense—cas was probably dying and dean needed to let him know how he felt. and truthfully im not blaming bobo berens. homophobia and you-know-what shippers are the only things im blaming. and like ive said before he tried to give us what we wanted in such a short period of time and im so grateful. destiel shouldve just. become canon way sooner (s13 wouldve been perfect) so that their relationship didnt seem so rushed like “cas ‘screws up’—deans feelings get invalidated and he immediately forgives him because destiel needs to become canon as soon as possible before the show ends”. hhhhh i hope this doesnt make me seem like i’m cas critical or whatever. i love him so much and truthfully, just like dean: everything cas has done hes done out of love. and it fucking sucks that no one ever told him that (...on screen, at least).

#and also dont get me wrong fjfhdj i still fucking love destiel and even the prayer scene (when i ignore the context..)#destiel #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural #իմը

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cherry-ber · 4 years

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Too drunk to fuck pt.9

Previous | Part one

Whatever that text was supposed to mean, you didn't care. You purposely ignored and avoided Mark the whole week, and after a few ignored messages, he gave up, and seemed to understand what you were probably thinking, every day Jaemin walked you home -because then you'd spend more time together than if he drove, he said- after a day in school with your new friends, and every day promised to be better than the last one. Friday came sooner than expected, and you got up earlier to dress extra special, tonight's dinner with Jaemin and your parents, although excited, made you incredibly anxious. So many things could go wrong.

When the classes were over, Jaemin was waiting for you outside of your classroom, holding your hand and giving you a sweet kiss as soon as he saw you. He carried your bag as you walked to his car, before you were home for dinner, he figured it would be nice to have a real first date, not a risky late night trip or an awkward meeting with your parents. He'd never done that, dating had never been important for him, he was too busy, and too invested with his deals and his friends, no time for girls and feelings at all, but he did a great job at planning, though. He took you to a museum, fair enough, you had to go as an assignment from Art class, but when you asked him to be your museum date, he was absolutely into it, then he took you to an ice cream parlor, a cute one, with the prettiest walls and decorations, and the best ice cream you've ever had. He took you flower picking, and to a park with lots of dogs being walked, and finally back home, just in time for you to be earlier than your parents. He greeted them politely, and your father was happy to see him again. Jaemin looked as handsome as he always did, but putting on his good boy persona, he looked softer and nicer than he usually did. His hair was pushed back, and he was wearing a light, baby blue sweater, that matched your baby blue, princess dress, your mom wasted no time mentioning how cute it was that you wore matching outfits, although it was actually a big casualty you did.

They had many, too many, questions for him. How you two met, how long you'd been friends, what classes you had together, what did the rest of your friends do, what did he want to do for a leaving, what were his plans after school. Jaemin handled every single question and gave an answer to every question that astonished your parents.

Jaemin's phone received a bunch of calls, he never picked up, arguing that if it were truly important, no one would really call him, but when your parents stood up the table for a couple minutes, and he finally had time to check his phone, all the calls were Mark's, but he left no message, and your date assumed it was, probably, not important at all. Usually, at least some months ago, on Fridays they'd be going to the abandoned warehouse, get drunk and have a race, or maybe they'd be shoplifting, attending their clients and playing dumb when they got caught, and although Jaemin, and the rest of his friends, knew it was bad, a tiny particle in his mind is telling him that he should be doing that right know. There's a part of them that has accepted the path they started walking so long ago, and it's a shame that they did, since the could be doing so much better.

After the food, and the awkward, intrusive, questions were out of the table, Jaemin suggested you went to Jeno's place again, and because you had no interest in staying home, you agreed, asked your parents permission to be home, and reluctantly they said yes, although you knew they agreed basically because Jaemin is too convincing, and too likeable.

He drove with the windows down, which made the chilly air play with his hair, giving him this absolutely attractive, messy hairstyle, and then all you wanted to do was to make him stop and kiss him while you ran your fingers through his hair. The annoying ringtone of your phone got your mind back to where you were sitting, and looking at the notification bar, you notice how many texts from Mark you got all day long, last one being received in thus exact moment.

“Friday, 7:15 a.m, Mark ♡:

hey”

“can we meet today?”

“Friday, 8:30 a.m, Mark ♡:

are you free after this period?”

“Friday, 9:48 a.m, Mark♡:

are you okay?”

“Y/N”

“???”

“Friday, 2:45 p.m, Mark♡:

are you at home”

“did I do something wrong?”

“Friday, 4:04 p.m, Mark ♡:

I think you hate me?”

“wait”

“you're with jaemin right?”

“Friday, 6:36 p.m, Mark ♡:

So i saw jaemin driving”

“And i was about to get close”

“and then i see you on the passenger side”

“you couldve replied, yk”

“Friday, 7:19 p.m, Mark ♡:

Ans know im fucking drunkk”

“fuck yOu”

“actually no”

“Friday, 8:58 p.m, Mark ♡:

hu sorry im liken really rly drunk”

“im at jenooossssss'”

“ypu should comeb too”

By the time you finished reading, it was too late, Jaemin had already parked, and when the men inside noticed, all of them, except Mark, came out to greet him, and when they saw you, they couldn't look happier. They urged you inside, but before you could get to the living room with them, Jeno stopped you and Jaemin.

“So, look, Mark is... Kinda sensitive right now” he looks into his direction, Mark sitting on the floor, with his head head resting on Renjun's lap, he's laughing and smiling and rubbing his hands on the carpet “I don't know what he had, he's drunk but, I think he might be high too”

Jaemin makes an effort to keep his annoyance unseen, remembering that every time Mark drinks, it's a mistake, a mistake that he's gonna have to solve.

“Just” Jeno knows, Jeno can read Jaemin like a book, and although he agrees that they shouldn't be the ones caring after his oldest friend, he can't let him alone whenever he needs them “don't mind him, he's saying weird shit, he's harmless”

Jeno sits in the couch next to Renjun, trying to block Mark's view of you, but when you walk in, holding Jaemin's hand, he loses it. His laugh is insanely loud, and it's almost scary, making Jaemin squeeze your hand harder between his, and he grabs someone's drink and takes it in a single sip, you can tell it was strong, because of the face he's making. Suddenly, everyone in the room is uncomfortable, waiting for someone to make the next move.

After minutes of staring at the wall in front of him, Mark stands up, tumbling when he does, and walks closer to you, stopping when you are just a few centimeters away from him. Jaemin reacts immediately, pushing Mark away from you, and putting himself between you two. Mark giggles, he looks innocent, and when you're about to apologize to him, that sweet look disappears.

“Are you really gonna let her get between us?” he asks jaemin, arrogance in his tone, and absolutely spiteful when he looks at you.

“You're drunk, go home” all eyes are on them both, but no one really dares to interfere.

“Is that all you're going to say?” he walks closer to Jaemin, and although he wishes that Mark doesn't do anything else, he's ready for whatever he tries “is that it, huh? I give you a home when you need it, a job, money, my time” he grabs Jaemin by the collar of his shirt “I let you into my life” Renjun rushes to you, dragging you out of the room, meanwhile Jeno and Donghyuck try to get Mark and Jaemin away from each other.

Everything happened too fast, and you can't even complain when Renjun walks you upstairs to Jeno's room and locks the door. You can hear the screaming from downstairs and there's nothing you can do to help. Your mom couldn't have possibly chosen a worst time to call, lying, you tell her that as soon as the movie you're watching is over, Jaemin will drive you back home.

Jisung and Chenle are leaving, after Renjun insisted that they shouldn't be there, although they are worried, they know there's not much they can do, and promise to be ready if something else happens, they say you goodbye from the porch, and offer to walk you home, but you know you can't leave just yet.

Jeno was successful in calming Jaemin down, but Mark wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted, Donghyuck and Renjun getting tired of dealing with him, but doing it anyway because the idea of what could come next was too scary. Jaemin unlocks the door, and brings you back down, with Jeno and himself protecting you from whatever Mark could try, going outside and into his car. Jeno apologizes to the both of you, and runs back inside.

Jaemin doesn't speak in the whole way back home, when he stops, he opens the door for you, walks you to the door, and says sorry when you open the door. You can only shake your head and give him a kind smile, hoping that he understands what you are trying to say. He drives away, but instead of going home, as you wished he did, he takes the way back to the mess, you watch him drive off, and you can only hope that things don't end up too bad.

“Saturday, 1:26 a.m, unknown number:

Don't panic, but Mark's in the hospital”

next♡

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

A.N: well that escalated quickly 😳

HeyyYYYyYy I'm finally bringing this back, after, well, i got notes from the whole series again. I hope you're having a good time guys, be healthy, be safe.

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the-fire-might-be-shooting-at-us · 4 years

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As someone who has seen *multiple* bisexuals irl, i can personally tell you(anon) that they do in fact exist. I know its hard to believe, but the majestic, amazing humans known as bisexuals are real. Theyre not a figment of your imagination.

I know thats hard to believe as well, because two of my best friends are bi, and i struggle to believe that those two amazing, loving, supportive humans are truly real because i dont know what i couldve done to make them my friends. But alas, they *are* real, and they really are two of my best friends.😌

I mean this in the most loving and kind way possible, anon, go fck yourself 🖕, your biphobia will never be wanted here, i dont know who summoned you via ouija board, but begone evil biphobic b*tch.

*as my voice fades in the distance* "fck off, fck off, fck off, fck offfffffff"

Thank you for attending my Ted Talk😌✌

THANK YOU!!!! YOU GUYS HAVE ALL SAID WAYYYY BETTER THAN I EVER COULD 😊

#Su does stuff and panics #ask me stuff #asks #send me asks #send asks #ask me anything

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yggdrasil-mith0s · 4 years

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Who am I kidding. I would be happy with one remake. If I could only choose one, though, it would be Tales of Destiny. I've explained it before but I have gotten new followers so I'll explain why Tales of Destiny is my favorite. I do have some Trigger warnings, though, since it is a part of my story. TWs: Cancer, Death.

Destiny is what started it all for me. I have talked about this before but when my dad got really sick with cancer, we sent him to Philadelphia for treatment (where my family is from as well as better hospitals and cancer ward). Mom and Dad had divorced 2 years prior but mom let us have as much time with him as possible while he was sick. But after he got to Philly and had surgery, we found out that it grew and spread to other parts of the brain (glioblastoma, a type of brain cancer is what he had). No more surgeries. They just kept him as comfortable as possible and let him recover in the hospital from the surgery. So my mom knew I was going to need a distraction. She let me pick out a game and for whatever reason, I picked Tales of Destiny. I played it constantly before we flew to Philly and right when we got there. I had the new PS1 with the LCD screen and an adapter so I could play it in cars and anywhere with a plug in. So I remember playing it on the way to the hospital. This is my first real RPG besides a select few but this is the first one I owned and actually knew everything going on while playing. I loved every second of gameplay. I remember seeing my dad in the hospital and he was so bad he couldn't talk or move at this point. I tried telling him I bowled a 165 (at my age that's amazing and he loved bowling. He got a 299 once). I ended up crying and left without saying anything beyond that. My aunt took me to the car and all I wanted to do was escape reality so I played Destiny. It helped relax me and calm down. It took me away from the painful feeling. Fast forward. He got sent home about 3 days later on Hospice and 3 more days later he died. We flew back up for the funeral. I had been playing Destiny but hadn't finished the game yet because I'm little and some parts took a while to figure out as well as school and other things. Destiny calmed me down everytime I started to cry or have an anxiety attack thinking about my dad the whole time. We get to the funeral service and my mom left the rental van on cause I couldn't save the game. I was in battle. The service happens and I want to cry but I am also ready to escape with Destiny. On the way to the funeral site to lay him to rest, I did it. I beat Tales of Destiny. The complete end finished as we pulled up. I got out and on the ground was this beautiful, gold feather. I never seen a golden feather and I still havent. I picked it up, feeling accomplished I beat Tales of Destiny, my first RPG. I whispered to my dad (his spirit I suppose), "I beat it, dad." I laid the feather on his casket along with the flower they gave family to do that, just before we left. So I get back in the car, smiled because I knew he would be proud I beat it without help and on my own (he loved games and RPGs). I turn on the PS1 and started a new game. I played through Destiny again 2 more times in a row. It got me through a really dark time. A time that really couldve been way worse without Tales of Destiny. It took me out of reality and the pain and put me in a place of joy, intrigue, and fun. Reality existed still, of course, and I still dealt with emotions and my dad's death the way any kid my age would.... but I couldn't have done it without Tales of Destiny.

That is why Tales of Destiny is my favorite. I also picked it back up every time I felt long or depressed through the years until I finally met a friend that had just bought Tales of Symphonia. I met another Tales fan. I met a friend. I invited him over and we played for over 12 hours straight and beat the game with one hour break to go get pizza from Pappa John's lol. But I wouldn't have met my best friend for the next few years if it wasnt for Destiny.

Even today it gets me through really depressing times. That is why I love Destiny so much and it's my favorite. It introduces me to the series. The story was awesome. I really loved Stahn Aileron as a protagonist. He had me laughing and interested when he got serious. Also I loved Mary Argent and her story. I related to her personality. Rutee Katrea was fun and cool. She was tough and I wanted to be tough just like her. Leon Magnus was cool. The kind of cool that everyone likes. I didnt care about that so much tbh. But I did think he was cool lol. Phillia Felice was so cute. I love how she cared about everyone. She said some seriously empathetic stuff that really resonated with me. I truly felt how she did so I loved her character. Garr Kelvin was a great friend to Stahn. The type of friend I always wanted. I eventually found that type of friend. He and I played Tales of Symphonia for hours the first time we hung out outside of school. I love the series. But Destiny is where it began with an amazing story and cast.

#tales of #tales of series #jrpg #tales of games #tales games #bamco #tales series #tales #rpg #bandai namco #tales of destiny #tod #tw death #tw funeral #tw cancer

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glasyasbutch · 4 years

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Time! Line! Asks! Roona: 2! Craving: 5! I make you be nice to Craving asmr!!! Ezra: 7! Gildy: 14! Tov: 8! Did I just go through your active characters page! Yes!!!! Go nuts king!!!

hee hee hoo hoo!!!!!!!!!! thank u rebekah!!!! (also thanks for the reminder to add gent and take off gildy from my active characters nnsfsdkl)

2. the timeline in which they never met who would become the most influential or important person in their life, or that person was taken from them before they were capable of forming memories.

Now this is an interesting one for roona, because they genuinely don’t have a single person in their life that i consider to be hugely influential. like, i guess at the moment you could say sepia man, for trapping her in black and white hell, or vinny, for talking her into taking that job.

but honestly, roona doesn’t form long-term attachments, and that’s not a sad thing for her! she enjoys the constant change, and she has plenty of good memories and people she considers friends, but she just doesn’t hang around any of them long enough to experience a lot of change that wouldn’t have otherwise occurred had she not been trying with that exact purpose.

so, in some ways, this timeline is pretty much identical to the one they’re in now. they float around from place to place without much regard for what they’re going to and what they’re leaving behind outside of following the trail of interest they’re currently on.

in other ways, removing any one person from their life would disrupt the timeline just as much as anyone else, because every single place she’s been and person she’s met has tweaked her path in life just a little bit. roona functions like a domino snake, falling moment to moment to moment and not able to see ahead because theres the thing thats happening right now in the way, but if you turn one domino even a little, you might miss the next one entirely and stop the trail right then, or skip to another area. so picking any random person to remove from her life very well could mean that alternate universe roona is still on the material plane, across the country from where they and vinny last were, a college of whispers bard multiclassed with rogue posing as a cleric just to get better gossip.

roona lives her life unchanged, yet utterly changed, and always random.

5. the timeline in which they continue on from the current point in their life to the best happy ending within their reach, where nothing that has happened so far is negated, but the happy things start piling up

craving’s backed herself so far into a corner that there’s no happy ending for her without some strife first. so we’ll get that out of the way.

the party finds out who her patron is. maybe judhas lets it slip, maybe she gets drunk again and spills it to val in a heart to heart about their devil cult trauma, maybe the morning lord sends manic and message and she can’t bear to lie to him when he’s sitting right next to her and asking so sincerely what she did to try and let him walk the high road.

and she cries. she cries, and she screams, and she pushes people away, and she retreats beneath her own skin and tries to hide because she knows this is her fault but she cannot admit she fucked up because she has to believe in what she’s doing if she’s going to see it through.

but someone snaps her out of it. someone gives her an exit. someone (or several someones) vow to stand by her side without judgement and get her out of this mess no matter the cost because they don’t believe that she’s as hopelessly damned as the rest of the world.

they break out of barovia first and foremost. they stab that vampire bitch right through the heart.

she gets to tell judhas to fuck the hell off, and god does it feel good.

then, she discovers the location of sirris’ true soul, that it is not in hell, and she has no reason to have her pact anymore, and she finds a way to break it, even against the queen of loopholes.

she runs into stella again, a free woman, and its been so damn long since they saw each other. they both had their trauma turned on them to manipulate them into subversion and they both are tearing that control apart from the inside. so they clean each others wounds and kiss each other’s bruises and craving finally says “i love you” because god damn it, she does, and she knows stella already knew, but her star deserves to hear it.

manic has a happy ending too, because he and craving are too close for her to have one without him. he sticks with the morninglord, i think. this god seems good for him, even if he won’t really be your typical preacher-type paladin. he probably finds love again in val. if not romance, at the very least family. at least one of her and manic gets a cat again.

craving lives her life supported, wanted, and free.

7. the timeline in which they never experience the loss that taught them something important

this is actually pretty similar to #1 that morgan gave me for him (timeline for ideal life) but i’ll give a quick thing.

the loss was cate’s death, and it taught him that the world is ultimately uncontrollable, even by the gods. at first it made him angry, that he was lied to, and he didn’t want to trust in anyone for fear that he’d be let down. he took five years to start calming down, and then it began to transfer into making him overly kind, because if all he can control in this world is himself, he wants that part to be as welcoming as possible.

so, in a world where cate doesn’t die, he never becomes disillusioned and reillusioned with the idea of devotion. he simply grows in his trust of tamara. his power increases, he becomes a staple of the temple, he lives a happy life inside its battered walls.

i would posit that he might actually be less compassionate in this timeline. not that he’s mean, he’s a very dedicated paladin of a mercy goddess. but, ultimately, he believes that mercy is a given in the world. he believes in tamara’s ability to force it to occur, and that he is simply a conduit. so he makes less effort to cultivate it himself. kindness is no longer a conscious choice that he has to make, and perhaps, that means it falls slightly more to the wayside.

ezra lives his life secure, confident, and devout.

14. the timeline in which they take a chance they didn’t in canon

i’m gonna do a real throwback here, to gildy’s first campaign that lasted ... less than 10 sessions. I think it was a total of like 6.

in our second session, we met this old man who lived in the middle of nowhere and everyone thought he was super weird because he would go out in the mornings and sweep dust off his lawn and carry it inside. gildy asked him what he was doing and he revealed that this was actually ash, floating over on the wind from a near-ish-by volcano with a connection to the fire plane. he mixed the ash in with clay to create enchanted pottery.

now, playing an elderly 3d artist, i really wanted to flirt with this other elderly 3d artist, but the dm said no because we’d never come back to this town. but, in the timeline where gildy couldve done whatever the fuck she wanted because she wasn’t constricted by a meta-plot, she would’ve tried really hard to get to know this guy!

she would’ve asked to learn some pottery, her hands still work just fine even though her knees don’t always. she’s used to shaping metal, which fights back. she’d love to learn to shape clay, which almost moves before you do. (she might have tried to do the ghost pottery scene with this dude. she knows what’s up).

there was a nice smithy in town too, made all kinds of weapons and armor. she would’ve taken up apprenticeship with them and hopefully become one of their artisans. and i think she would’ve had a wonderful time there! a new city, with new people, a new love of her life, all the creation she could ask for at her fingertips, a life that hasn’t grown stagnant even after 270 years. there’s also, if i remember right, a mountain nearby. she does get a little homesick from time to time, the view helps.

gildy lives her life reimagined, shared, and satisfied.

8. the timeline in which they gain everything they want, except for the thing they wanted most

i think this is actually the timeline he’s in right now!!!!!! he wants more than anything to go back home and be forgiven. i don’t think that’ll happen. even if he does reconcile with rax eventually, he’ll have been gone too long for the clan to feel like home in the same way, and i don’t think either rax or him will ever be able to forget what happened, just build a new relationship around it.

but, he has friends now, which he never thought he would. and a house. with a business under it! what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he’s doing good for the city. he’s part of an order dedicated to righteousness and law. he’s an upstanding citizen!

and. of course. he has savra. he has the potential for unconditional love, for family, for future, everything he thought he’d get back from rax one day, but probably won’t. he’ll fall in love with her before he even knows it, (he’s already started), and when he finally realizes, he’ll feel more okay with it than he ever thought he would be, because she knows what its like to feel shame and she knows how to grow past it.

he’ll be her good man, and a good father eventually, and he won’t even need to go back home anymore (even though he’ll want to, he’ll always feel a bit of guilt that the half-dragon babies only know their human grandparents, and he’ll miss the summer festival food because you just can’t get the right spices in waterdeep even if he and savra try to cook the meals themselves, and he’ll miss the way his brother punches his arm when he laughs because savra never does that, and -). but he’ll have a home in ways he never thought a home could be, but he likes them, and he’s happy, truly, even with the shadows that still curl around the corner of his heart.

tov lives his life long, useful, and good.

#THANK YOU REBEKAH I RLY LIKED DOING THIS ONE #craving #tov #ezra #gildy #roona #asks

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lovebunnie · 5 years

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fr the poem questions: all of them >: )c

jared... only for you...

the tyger – are you a taker of calculated risks or do you enjoy playing with fire? would you rather ask for permission or forgiveness?

i am a major rule follower, i am not at all adventurous and i like to stay in my comfort zone. my life is a mix of staying true to my comfort zone and doing what I feel is right, first instinct.

i carry your heart with me – do you believe in fate? what’s your secret to living a good life?

i tend to not believe in fate, it tends to make people not take responsibility for their actions and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth; predestination takes away humility from us. and i wouldnt say that im currently living a good life, its getting there but more often then not i would not describe my days as ‘happy’, more so just another day. but to make a day not outwardly bad, i firmly believe in having a really good breakfast in the morning and taking a shower at night. both of those really make my days better.

i wandered lonely as a cloud – what does nature mean to you? where do you feel most at peace?

nature for me is what comes to us instinctively and what we turn to for comfort in trying times. i feel the most at peace either at summer camp or in my bedroom with my cat :3

blackberrying – what were your early years like? do you miss being a child?

my early years were very happy, i was a very happy and funloving child. it was a time where i wasnt told about any of my family drama so i lived in blissful ignorance. i definitely miss being a child, all the way up to about 7th grade. its just been downhill from 8th grade and on.

ode to a nightingale – how do you feel about your own mortality? do you believe in life after death?

my mortality is something of a burden i carry with me everyday, a reminder that every minute is precious and this is the only life i get, i have one shot to not fuck it up. i dont believe in the afterlife, the concept of death is something that if i think too hard about then itll fuck me up.

hope is the thing with feathers – what gives you hope? what would you tell your 10-year-old self?

hope comes from those news stories about good news, like charity donation goals being hit and remembered anniversaries and flower bouquets in public, there is good in the world and sometimes its hard to find but its always there. to my 10 year old self, i would tell her to not hold too tightly to those around you, and that life constantly changes so dont get too attached or comfortable because itll prevent you from growing in the future.

the road not taken – do you find it hard to make decisions? what regrets do you have?

its really hard to make decisions because i always assume that my ideas are wrong or bad so if someone else takes the lead, i cant be blamed. as far as regrets, i wish that in my past, i just put myself out there more. i couldve spent highschool actively seeking for possibilities instead of sulking and wishing they came to me. they dont ever, you have to find them.

still i rise – what's your relationship with yourself like? what are your best qualities?

i have a bad relationship to myself; if i admire one trait about myself, the other traits must be less than. for example, if i think i look nice one day, then i remember abt my grades or my writing and how much i hate both of those. i can never be fully at peace, it will never be enough to sate my psyche. my ‘best’ qualities depend on the day, right now i think i have nice eyelashes.

howl – can you express yourself freely? do you feel smothered by societal norms?

i struggle everyday to be my genuine self. its not so much societal norms but my own mind; i want to look nice but i dont want to attract too much attention. i want to be remembered but not for how good my ass looks or whatever. my biggest fear is that people see me as something desirable but only sexually so i want to dress how i feel but i cant because im terrified of the gaze of men on my campus.

the raven – are you in touch with your feelings? how would you describe the relationship between emotions & rationality?

im extremely in touch with my feelings. i can acknowledge when i am angry or sad or happy, even if i dont know why. i allow myself to feel my feelings and then let them pass, i hate bottling those things up. between emotions and rationality, i use my emotions 9 times out of 10. i ask myself, ‘what do i want?’ and the first thing i come up with, i know is what i truly want to do.

sonnet 116 – how do you define love? what qualities do you look for in a significant other?

i think love is everything; its the warmth of hanging out with familiar people, its when people remember facts about you, its a meaningful hug and its ‘this reminded me of you’. its different for everyone but i feel love in everything i do. in a significant other, the biggest thing is being able to make me laugh, if youre funny than im sold.

to autumn – what's your favorite season and why? what cherished memories do you associate with that season?

my favorite season is winter because it has lots of holiday warmth, good food, pleasant childhood memories, and comfortable clothing. also i love snow. i have very vivid memories of a blizzard in maryland when i was 11(?) years old, my neighbor tied a sled to the back of his ATV and dragged us around the cul de sac, it was so much fun!!

the waste land – do you like big cities? if you could choose any place on earth, where would you settle down?

i love big cities, they evoke so many feelings of love and the atmosphere being surrounded by people makes me so happy! if i could live anywhere, i think it would be san francisco, i love the city and the weather and the public transportation!!

o captain! my captain! – what are your aspirations in life? what motivates you?

in life, i want to give a tedtalk. i would also love to publish a book but i dont like what i write so if i ever did, id end up hating the book anyway in a year or so. i want to teach people the joy of public speaking and i want to give kids the joys i had given to me by my teacher when i was their age. my motivation comes from, this has to be done and if no one else will do it, it might as well be me. i have the passion and everything else will follow after that.

she walks in beauty – what's your aesthetic? how would you describe the relationship between inner goodness & outer beauty?

id describe my aesthetic as lovecore, i love the color pink and red and hearts and flowers and teddy bears and dresses and sparkles and valentines day and i love everything stereotypically ‘cute’. and i feel there is no outer beauty without inner goodness, if someone has bad intentions or a rotten core, their outward appearance will reflect.

one art – how do you deal with loss? do you write diary entries, poetry or prose?

thankfully i have not had to go through tremendous loss in my life but when i feel an emotional loss or general low point, i tend to move towards art, aimless doodling to take my mind off of situations. it centers me.

work, sometimes – how does your favorite weather make you feel? what is happiness to you?

my favorite weather makes me feel SO happy, all smiley and giddy and like things are going to be okay, just for one day, i will make this a good one. happiness to me is comfort and joy, its something that makes you laugh until your sides hurt and its art that you look at and feel. happiness isnt a huge moment, its little moments scattered throughout the days.

acquainted with the night – do you think there's such thing as the right time? what’s your outlook on the world?

no, i dont like to set things off for the thought of there being a right and wrong time. time isnt real and we only have so long on earth so there is no time but the present. go get that tattoo, ask them out, eat that snack. my outlook on the world is that there is a lot of bad shit but there is also a lot of good shit you will never see but it important nonetheless. you cant change the world in a day so you might as well take it one day at a time, working everyday to make it as good as possible.

if – do you daydream a lot? are you volatile, or do you stay calm when conflicts arise?

i love to day dream, it helps me determine what i really want and its a lovely distraction when the goings get tough. i try to avoid conflicts in every situation possible but if i were pushed, id either accept my mistake and apologize and work towards a better future; or i would tell the other person how im feeling and what i can do to help them feel better.

what would i give? – do you cry often? if you could change anything about your past, what would it be?

things make me sad but rarely enough to cry, things more so tend to weigh me down then break me. i let the sadness take me however it sees fit. and if thats to cry, so be it. if i could change anything about my past, i would just say that you will only get this chance to start over in a new state once, the years will go by quick so to TAKE OPPORTUNITIES WHEN THEY SHOW THEM SELF TO YOU!!!!!!

#adoration #rockcandey #stan tag #this took so long

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the-marvel-imagines-blog · 6 years

Text

Madness | Chpt. 6

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “Collateral Damage”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 4,786

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, Angry!Eva, violence, Angry!Loki

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

A/N: I want to take a moment to apologize for my absence. I’ve had some health problems recently, and within the last couple of weeks, I’ve lost entire days thanks to said problems. I’m finally feeling well enough again to post, but during my time being sick, I’ve managed to come up with quite a bit of content. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying what I’m writing. Even if not every chapter is you cup of tea, it means a lot to see that people are leaving likes, messaging me, reblogging, etc.! Please note that I have taken and will be taking a lot of creative liberties pertaining to these characters. This will be shown in excess during the upcoming chapters, so I just wanted to give a bit of a warning. There are some timeline changes, character changes, etc. Once again, thank you so much for reading. I love you all <3

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

“Looks like you lost,” I dictated as I dragged him down the stairs to the dungeons. My entire body felt like it was on fire, but it didn’t stop the shiver from running down my spine at the thought of what he was capable of. Ezra showed us something none of us could’ve expected. He was skilled in ways that we were unprepared for, ways I didn’t even know could exist. I still trembled at the thought of my slain comrades-members of Odin’s kingsguard-rising and fighting against us. The more people of ours Ezra killed, the more people he had fighting for him. The battle was unfair and horrific, but we still won even after members of the kingsguard forced Odin away from the situation. Ezra had surrendered after we had gotten him onto his knees. My sword had been pressed against his throat, and all I needed to do was give it one swift motion to kill him. I couldn’t, though.

There was something that kept me from killing him, but I had no idea what it was. Maybe it was the familiarity in those green eyes or the endless knowledge he seemed to have about me. Still, my decision to keep him alive could be useful in the future of Asgard. He was another enemy who would be a prisoner in the dungeons, a man we could retrieve information from. He snickered at me, “you may have won, but what did it cost you?” he asked, glancing down at the wound on my abdomen.

I ignored his comment, feeling the pain radiating from the wound. During the battle, he had taken a swing at Ephinea, a blow I did my best to protect her from. I had pushed her back and tried to put as much distance between him and I as possible, but it wasn’t enough. My sword blocked his axe, and while I struggled to disarm him, I was unaware of the dagger he pulled out until he buried it in my abdomen. The dagger cut right through my training armor-which had not been suitable for battle-and pierced into my flesh. I had not yet seen it, but a piece of me was convinced it was nothing while the rational part of myself was sure it was something much more than I was prepared to deal with. If I could still walk, I was fine.

Behind Ezra and I were the remaining members of the kingsguard who did not sustain significant injuries as well along with Ephinea, Sif, and the warriors three. Thor had taken to the throne room with his father to discuss what would come next. Everyone in the dungeons was silent when they saw the crowd of warriors that it took to secure the newest prisoner. They watched us in a stunned silence, including Loki. I avoided all eye contact with the God of Mischief, still hurt by his actions an entire week ago. While I wished for an empty cell anywhere else in the dungeons, the only free one was directly across from Loki’s, which would undoubtedly cause me to worry much more than I should have. The cells were practically impenetrable, and even if Ezra managed to break free of his cell, there would be no real reason for him to go after Loki.

As we stood in front of his cell, he turned to face me as I spoke, “this is gonna be your new home. I don’t know where you came from or what you knew before this, but you won’t be going back there anytime soon. You said you haven’t seen a sunrise for more than 300 years?” I asked, and he nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips in anticipation for what I was about to say, “well, be prepared to wait another 300 because you aren’t getting out of here for a long time,” I growled, glaring up at him and his apathetic expression. It was as if he had no remorse at all for the lives he had taken, like the entire battle before this meant nothing to him. His reaction was sickening.

He cocked one of his thick eyebrows, “you have a fire within you that you try to ignore, pet, but you can’t hide it from me,” he replied before lunging forward and attacking my lips with his. It shocked me at first, but I leaned into it after a moment, realizing that I could use it to my advantage. Everyone around us who was there to ensure his safe transportation to his cell was left in shock, but they always knew that I had a plan. My lips molded together with his thick ones, and while I was disgusted to be kissing the man who just killed so many of my people, I knew that this was going to work out in my favor. While Ezra was distracted by the kiss, I eased one of my daggers from its sheath at my side and reached behind him before sinking it into his lower back.

He sucked in a sharp breath, disconnecting our lips. His face distorted in pain, and his chest rumbled as I pulled the dagger from his body, twisting it in the process. Once it was out, I dropped it on the ground behind him and reached into the small pouch on my belt to pull out one of the tracking devices I always carried with me. In one swift motion, I shoved two of my fingers into the wound to deposit the tracking device as deeply as possible. He grunted and twisted to break free of my grasp, but I would not release him. I released the tracking device once I was sure it was embedded deep enough that he could not feel it and dig it out on his own. When I finally removed my fingers, I rested my hand against his wound and focused all of my energy on transferring it over to myself. That was the one downfall of my healing power. I was unable to heal someone without transferring their wounds onto myself. While he was not worthy of my help, I couldn’t leave the wound open for fear that he would just pull the device out. Now, it he wanted to take it out, he would have to cut himself open and dig for it.

As the wound transferred to myself, I gritted my teeth, but nothing could compare to the wound on my abdomen. It was like if one had been stabbed by Surtur himself, a scraped knee could never compare to it, so the pain was far more tolerable. Once I finished healing his wound, I glared up at him, “you’re going to have a lot of time to think while you’re down here, and that’s all you get to do. If you move, I’ll know about it. If you speak, I’ll know about it. If you have any thoughts about breaking out of your cell, I will know about it. I didn’t kill you today because I believe in second chances. If you fail to cooperate or if you become a threat to anyone I know or love, I will not hesitate to kill you,” I growled at him.

He nodded his head, “my execution would be against the Allfather’s wishes. It’s a beautiful sentiment-it truly is-but...tell me, pet, how will you protect the two people you love most when one is here and one is on Midgard?” he asked, referencing her once more.

My eyes widened, and he smirked at the look of dread that was clear on my face. I saw my reflection in his eyes and saw a girl who had everything to lose, someone who had lost so much already. As my protective instincts kicked in, I grew furious that he even put their safety in question. I pulled my fist back and landed a hard punch against his cheek. When his head snapped to the side to accommodate the blow, I swiped his feet out from under him to bring him down to the ground. As he caught himself on his knees, I pulled out my other dagger and pressed it against his throat with one hand while I grabbed a fistful of his hair with the other. I squatted down to be at his level, “say it again,” I growled.

He smirked, “and what if I did? What if I threatened them again?” he asked, challenging me, “would you kill me, an unarmed man on his knees? Would you take my life the same way your enemies took your friends life on Vanaheim? You and I both know that you don’t have what it takes,” he hissed, bringing up Hjalmar. My chest tightened, “the only way to save the ones you love so dearly is to accept your destiny, to accept what you’re truly meant to be.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “and what is that?”

“A god,” he answered with a smile as he leaned into my blade against his throat, “just like me.”

I shook my head, my entire body trembling as anger and rage built up in my chest, “I am nothing like you,” I growled, furious that he would even try to compare the two of us. He fought and killed so many of my people and raised them back to be monsters. What was it for? I only fought when it needed to be done. I didn’t seek out confrontation. I fought, and even killed, the few who put the lives of the many at stake, and it always sat with me. The eyes of my victims never left my mind, for I was aware that I had taken someone’s loved one away from them. Ezra showed in the short time I knew him that he was nothing like that. He killed without remorse, and I saw no conflict in his eyes once it was over. We were nothing alike.

He chuckled, “that’s where you’re wrong, pet. You and I are more alike than you know, and that’s how I know, without the shadow of a doubt, that you’ll lose both of them in time,” he said, and my heart felt like it would fall through the floor. How did he know all of my deepest and darkest fears? That was always the one thing that scared me the most: losing the ones I loved. Of course, it was the fear of so many people, but he was able to pull up the two people I cared for more than anything else and use their safety against me, “it’s in your nature. You’ll always lose,” he added.

My chest rose and fell as I struggled to find air. It felt like his threats were taking the air from my lungs, and I felt like I would suffocate. I saw how big a threat he was, but we managed to bring him down together. I didn’t want to imagine what Cul’s entire army could do. Everything had been thrown at us so quickly, as we had no knowledge of who Cul was or that Odin even had an older brother at all. Everything that happened that day just made me feel uncertain of everything. Still, I couldn’t show Ezra that, “and what about you? You’re the man who kneels before me with my dagger against his throat. You lost,” I hissed.

“You’ll need me soon enough,” he remarked, gesturing down to the stab wound on my abdomen that throbbed with a pain I never experienced before. The wound hurt badly enough that it felt like I would be sick from the pain. I had been stabbed before, and the wounds never felt quite like that. Perhaps, it had just been too long, and I forgot the sensation. I shook the thoughts from my mind and focused on him once more as he continued, “and the moment you come to me, begging for my help, is the moment when you’ll finally realize that you are the one who has lost,” he sneered, his eyes cutting right through me. It was like he could see every weakness and insecurity I had.

“If you or anyone else tries hurt the people I care for, you won’t be able to find shelter from the storm I unleash. You don’t want to make me an enemy,” I threatened him.

He shook his head as if he was disappointed in me, and I furrowed my eyebrows. When his eyes finally met mine once more, he snickered to himself, “you speak like a warrior, but there is no true weight in your words. I know-as well as you do-that you would never pose a threat to the one thing you believe in more than anything else: Life. That’s why I know you won’t kill me. I’m not afraid of you,” he stated, nonchalantly as he leaned into the blade, hard enough to draw blood.

I stood up, sheathing my dagger, before pulling him up onto his feet. He stood much taller than me, but I didn’t feel small in that moment. Even though I was insecure about what would come next, I couldn’t show my fears to the man who was threatening the lives of the people I loved. I needed to be strong, or he would take advantage of my weaknesses. I grabbed a fistfull of his hair and pulled his head down to mine, maintaining eye contact the entire time, “you aren’t afraid of me,” I hissed before leaning in to his ear, “but you should be,” I whispered the line I had been told only once before. It had shaken me to the very core when it was said to me, but I felt powerful now that I was on the other end. My voice was low enough so that only he could hear me, and once I finished, I pulled away from him and shoved him into his cell. Ephinea activated the cell wall before he was even able to regain his balance. I couldn’t help the smile as I watched him struggle to not fall onto his face, but the sharp pain in my abdomen cut that short.

Not wanting to waste anymore time on him, I turned to face the members of the Kingsguard. They were some of the most well-trained warriors Asgard had to offer, so much so that they were trusted with protecting the Allfather himself. The kingsguard lined the halls of the palace at all times of the day and night, and they stood guard over the dungeons as well. I picked up my blood-covered dagger that I had dropped on the floor moments prior and lowered it back into its sheath. I pointed over at Ezra but stayed focused on the warriors before me, “I want two guards posted outside his cell every second of every day. I never want him left unsupervised, and if he is, you’re going to wish that you experienced the Allfather’s wrath instead of mine,” I threatened, feeling my unchecked fury rising further and further in my chest. I surprised myself at the harsh tone of my voice, but I didn’t change it, “if he shows any signs of agitation, I want to know about it. If he takes one step out of line, I want to know about it. If he breathes offbeat, I want to know about it. I want every detail of his existence to be monitored while he’s down here. I want nothing to go unnoticed. If he speaks out of line, I want to know what he said and when he said it. Do you understand?”

I saw the startled expression on every face of the men before me. I had always been known for my calm and collected nature, and the only time I ever broke away from that was when I was in battle. Even then, I had never been so ruthless, especially never with them. They all nodded in agreement to my orders, but one of the guards stepped forward, his eyes just as confused as the rest, “I mean you no offense when I ask this, but...what would you do about it, my lady?”

As I brushed past all of them, needing to take my place with Thor and Odin to discuss our next moves, I answered his question, “I’ll kill him.”

Before I could make it very far at all, Ezra yelled after me, “good luck, pet. I take pity on you for what is about to come,” he shouted, that booming voice echoing throughout the silent dungeons. It was as if every prisoner stood completely still as I walked by-all but one. As I walked past Loki’s cell, I stared straight ahead, refusing to even look his way, still hurt by what transpired between us a week prior. It broke my heart to ignore him that way, but I had to focus on the safety of the Nine Realms. A piece of it was also to protect him. If there was a chance I could convince Ezra that I no longer cared for Loki, that Loki wasn’t a weakness of mine that he could exploit, I was going to take it. It was the best way to protect Loki at that point.

As I walked past his cell, he banged on the wall, yelling my name and trying to attract my attention, but I still didn’t give in. I blinked away the tears in my eyes, my heart shattering as I had to look the other way once more. I did that before, and I couldn’t believe I was doing it again. I was still hurt and angry at him for what he said when I visited him that night, but I could never stay mad at him for too long, not over trivial things like that. Even as I ascended the stairs, I could still hear his pained voice calling my name. My ears began ringing, and the world around me seemed unsteady. When I reached the last few stairs, the wound on my abdomen sent a piercing pain through my entire body, and I jolted forward to accommodate the sudden and intense pain. If Loki had seen me fall as I had in that moment, he would’ve laughed at me before falling down with me, not wanting me to feel isolation and embarrassment. I coughed, and the fleeting thoughts of my love were pushed to the side as I tasted the blood in my mouth. I swallowed it back just as the guards ran over to me to help me up, just like Loki would have done.

*Loki’s POV*

I felt the immeasurable pain that she was experiencing, and I couldn’t help but feel like there was something seriously wrong. That was one of the things that never stopped for me, no matter how deep my madness became. She was still there, an untouched and untainted beauty among the raging wildfire that was my mind. I could always feel her pain, her suffering, her joy, and her love. I could feel every emotion and every ounce of physical pain, which Thanos used to his advantage. While it killed me inside to know that she was hurting, it let me know that she was still alive, wherever she was. This sensation was something new, though. I could barely stand due to the pain in my abdomen. Even when she had transferred his wound onto herself, it couldn’t hold a candle to the pain I began experiencing no long before.

Everyone began filing out of the dungeons aside from the two guards Eva demanded always stand watch over the new prisoner. I had never seen Eva deal with anyone quite like that, but he must’ve made her feel something otherworldly to pull out that side of her. Watching it was exhilarating in a way that I never would’ve expected. I could feel the anger and pain coursing through her veins every moment she stood before him, but I could also feel her conflict. When he mentioned two people-one here and one on Midgard-I found myself trying to piece together who it could be. Perhaps he was speaking about Aaldir or Thor. I was certain she cared little for me after what I did the last time we saw each other. The unnamed person on Earth was what I tried to piece together first, though. Was it Tony Stark? I noticed that the two of them had quite the connection when I was around them on Midgard. What if it was the Soldier? The two of them shared similar beliefs, and he had protected her from near death quite a few times.

When another piercing pain erupted in my abdomen, I gritted my teeth and grunted, reaching for the tender spot. As I tried to breathe through the pain, I heard his laughter from the cell diagonal to mine, “you must be Loki!” he smiled, amused at my pain. I knew that madness well, well enough to know that it was not all his own. Someone had taken advantage of a weakness and used it against him. A small part of me felt empathy for him, but I couldn’t help but think of how he must’ve hurt Eva. As I glared up at him, he cocked his head to the side, “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m a pretty big fan because of what you did on Midgard-you know, attempting to kill everyone who wouldn’t blindly follow your rule. I have to say that it was a bold move for the unloved son of a false king,” he barked before taking a deep breath and calming his nerves, “I’m Ezra Culson, the new bane of Eva’s existence. You’ve been replaced.”

“What did you do to her?” I yelled, anxious to know what had transpired to bring about a pain like this. Before Ezra pointed out the wound on her abdomen, it was barely noticeable, especially since she showed little signs of discomfort while she was in the dungeons. Still, shortly before she came down to the dungeons, I had felt the intense pain, and I knew she had been stabbed. This sensation, however, was so different than before. When we were on Midgard, I...she had been stabbed. That was nothing like this. I grunted as I stood up straight, trying to ignore the burning sensation.

Ezra shook his head, a hint of guilt in his eyes that didn’t seem completely genuine, “I didn’t come here to fight-not today, anyway-but when Odin refused to my terms and your brother refused my offer to take Eva off your hands, I had no choice. She got in the way,” he said, nonchalantly as he shrugged it off like it was nothing. Even the guards outside of his cell were disturbed. Everyone in Asgard knew Eva, and everyone knew that she was the embodiment of all that was good and light in this world. Ezra acted as if his action of attacking her was nothing serious, like attacking her wasn’t like he was attacking the very fabric of life itself. During my stunned silence, he continued to speak, “let’s just say that you’re not the only one who has it out for Odin.”

“I couldn’t care less about him. You hurt her!” I snapped, slamming my fist against the cell wall and startling the guards and the other prisoners within the dungeons. Ezra would have a hard time in the dungeons because no matter how much the other prisoners hated Odin and Asgard, they could not bring themselves to even speak unkindly of Eva. The longer the prisoners stayed in the dungeons, the more they grew accustomed to her singing, and because Eva showed the planet so much love and kindness, everyone who resided here could feel her energy coursing through them. Her connection to the world and life was incredible. As my chest tightened, I glared at him, “you hurt her, and I’m going to kill you for that,” I growled in a low voice.

He shrugged it off again, “collateral damage,” he remarked, “it’s nothing that can’t be undone. When she gives in and leaves with me, which she will, I’ll heal her, and we’ll be on our way.”

“She’s not going anywhere with you!” I yelled once more, realizing that he was doing exactly what he wanted to do, and I was allowing it to happen. He was crawling right under my skin, and I couldn’t stop it. It was like Thanos all over again. Ezra just knew my weakness, and he was going to exploit it. He would try to break me, but I wouldn’t lose Eva again, and that was what kept me from falling back into the comfort of my own darkness.

He chuckled, “I have a better claim to her even as an outsider, or did you forget?” he asked, and my eyes widened as it felt like my chest would completely cave in. He couldn’t have been referencing that moment, but it wouldn’t surprise me with all that he knew about Eva and myself. A part of me wished to know where he acquired this information, but the part that took hold of me in that moment was still the nervous and insecure man I was before I fell from the Bifrost, before I pushed Eva out of my life, before I realized that I would never truly be my father’s son. I could still remember Odin’s words as if our conversation was happening that very moment:

“A girl who could pass as a princess even without a prince would be better suited for Thor, and I will not entertain these childish games any longer!”

It was the first moment in my life that I felt utterly hopeless. All that I had done up until that moment seemed like it was in vain. I had loved Eva, and she loved me. When she forced me to relive that memory in the dream, I couldn’t help but associate it with the conversation that followed with my father. He had been the one to pull me from our beautiful moment, our last beautiful moment. Our conversation was meant to open the doors for millions of other beautiful moments, but he slammed those doors in my face, telling me that I would never be worthy enough for Eva, that she was being saved for Thor. It was the beginning of my downfall, and she was the one who was hurt most from it.

While my chest heaved, I imagined ripping his tongue from his throat. I imagined slitting his throat open while he spoke of how Eva was nothing more than “collateral damage.” I imagined his blood on my hands as I tore him apart for what he did to her and for what he tried to do to me. I knew that all he had to do was exploit my weakness, and he would be able to turn me against her. Something in me was broken, and he wanted to toy around with it, “speak one more word, and you’ll wish for death when you see what I do to you,” I threatened, narrowing my eyes at him and realizing just how familiar they looked, like I had seen them a thousand times before. Green...like the color of spring.

He chuckled, sitting on the floor and tucking his legs under himself. It seemed as if he would let my comment roll off his back, but that was the opposite of what he did. Instead, he brought up the one thing I cared about more than anything else. Eva. He grinned, madness in his eyes, “threaten me again, and you’ll wish for death when you see what I do to her.”

Without warning, my mind felt like it was being torn apart, like the broken edges were being chipped away at. As I fell to the floor in a massive pain radiating from the ghost wound on my abdomen and the sudden and intense pain in my own mind, I gritted my teeth and groaned loudly. I could remember her eyes that day, the day I hurt her more than I could ever forgive myself for. I had expected her to look at me like I was a monster, like I was her enemy. However, she didn’t. She spoke my name with fear in her eyes and sorrow in her voice. It was my first moment of clarity in so long, but it was also my greatest moment of weakness and tragedy because I hurt the one thing I wished to protect: my friend, my princess, my love.

My Eva.

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coralluminarywizard · 6 years

Text

Vent, I know he won’t see this but I needed to write it down

Do i miss you? So much. Some days it feels like a stabbing pain in my chest to the point i cannot breath other days its manageable and feels like a light breeze, either way the thought of you lives within me. I know yours no longer here and i can’t fight your reasons and i understand why you needed to leave but non of the reasons feel good enough to use as an explanation to tell others why were no longer together. I crave your presence you always had a way making me feel like I was unstoppable when you were around it was addictive, I crave your silly jokes and you laughter and you constant rambling about cars just to see the passion on your face.

You have taught me so much in our time together, things ill value for the rest of my life. However the one thing you never taught me was how to live without you? Its something I’m truly struggling with. I feel as if i am merely existing and that you were the passion in my life that kept me going.

You brought me unbelievable amounts of happiness into my life and I can say that without a doubt, you were the best things that has ever happened to me and I will remember and cherish every memory I have of us for the entirety of my life; the millions of them every single one I will remember. The first time we kissed and how you started a fire inside of me with every touch. When you asked me to be your girlfriend; gosh that feeling is something I’ll never forget the way we could barley even kiss each other because we were smiling so much. The million of firsts we had together, and sadly i’ll also remember all our lasts. How the last time I saw you on christmas day, I was as drunk as a skunk I can still remember how loving and caring you were how you reacted when I gave you your present and how you needed to leave to go see family and you kissed me goodbye.. never did i think that thats kiss would mean goodbye forever but now I know what it means Ill cherish it, Ill cherish the feeling of your lips on mine, of your eyes staring into mine while you smile whole heartedly at me. It always blew my mind how you looking at me could somehow make my heart beat like crazy and feel like my entire body was being set on fire in the most glorious of ways while also making me feel so calm and safe and at home. I will always remember the little things that meant the world to me, Ill remember how your voice sounded like when you told me “you look so pretty” or how incredible the words “I love you” came from your mouth. Ill never forget how much I treasured sleeping next to you and waking up to your face; somehow knowing you’d be there when I woke up and having you as the first thing I saw in the morning made my lazy butt a morning person as it meant I got to spend more time with you. I’ll remember the evenings we did nothing but just laid in bed and spoke about anything and everything and how comfortable I was around you that we could talk about absolutely anything and still find it fascinating. Ill remember the evenings we went out to the cinema and although there was the arm rest between us we always ended up somehow cuddling in those chairs and moved as close to each other as possible, the nights we went out just doing nothing but with you around they felt like the most incredible evenings ever.

I constantly find myself looking at the thousands upon thousands of photos and videos I have of us and thinking how could something so beautiful and pure as our love turn so bad. But I guess we weren’t strong enough to with stand the pressure of falling truly in love at such a young age. I made some mistakes, some pretty huge horrible mistakes and for that I’m so sorry, theres nothing more I can do than apologies for that and for my toxic traits and I recognise that in part I was to blame. But so were you, you did some pretty horrible things too and honestly I forgive you. At a young age were bound to mess up gosh how are you meant have a perfect relationship when you met when you were 15. There was bound to be some messy parts but what was important was how we dealt with each problem and that we faced it together. And we managed to do that for 4 glorious years sure there were ups and downs, some really low moments but the highs were honestly sky high and were able to make up for any of the low points. I still love you, I love you with my whole heart and soul absolutely unequivocally. Even while baring this pain and heartbreak I still admire you as a person, you are such a beautiful soul and you have so so much ahead of you and even though from now I’ll be watch from a distance, please know I still whole heartedly believe you.

So i guess I just want to say I’m so sorry for everything, I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough to make you want to stay. I wish I could’ve been that person for you. I wish I couldve been the person who was there by your side through everything, the person you needed in your life but I guess all our talk about us being soulmates, our forever and future plans was pointless but I hold out hope that you’ll have everything you wish for one day even though I can no longer be part of that I wish you all the happiness in the world. Seeing you happy was always the way to make me happiest so I think thats how my life is going to be. I always got teased for how I looked at you “you look at him like he’s your entire world” “you can so tell you’re so in love with him just by how you look at him” and it’s true you were and still are. I guess that’s because I look at you with such wonder. People always look at shooting stars with amazement and I guess that’s how I saw you as my shooting star, you were my wish, you made everything in my wildest dreams come true.

I have no desire to be with anyone else, as stupid as it sounds I found everything I could have ever wanted within you, sure we argued and said things but I think thats just one of the things that is going to happen when you fall in love at such a young age, its difficult to understand that depth of feelings in an entire life time let alone when your just 15 and with the past 4 years being probably the hardest years in life for development and character changing I guess it probably was the most difficult time to have those feelings as well and even for me it was so so confusing and difficult to understand and I imagine it was the same for you I mean thats the reason this ended because you were confused and couldn’t understand your feelings with everything going on.

I’ve come to terms that you aren’t coming back and that my future will not have you as part of it. I will still miss you every single day, I will still think of you before I got to bed and you’ll still be my first though in the morning. I will still have dreams of what our future coulee been life if we were able to have fought this but I understand you not wanting to, it takes a big struggle to keep a relationship going when things in your life are hectic. I understand how difficult it must’ve been to love me. Im so sorry that my demons affected you. Im so sorry that I caused you any pain, I never ever ever wanted you to be hurt because of me. If I could take everything back I might, not because of me I would choose this heartbreak everyday of the year than erase all the memories we had together because it brings me such happiness to think of how happy we were once but id take it all back for you. So you could forget everything all the pain I caused you you’d probably be a lot happier.

Although I wish we could fix this I wish we could still be how we were before we fucked everything up. I wish we could be together I honestly wish for nothing more than us to have the future we always talked about but I understand that you can’t give me that, I understand you don’t love me enough to put in the effort and to be honest I don’t blame you. I tried, I put every ounce of effort I had into keeping us going and it was to much I couldn’t do it for the both of us. Maybe one day you’ll realise what we had was once in a life time, and you’ll then be willing to put the effort in to making us work. But I’m not holding out hope, I’m not going to sit around waiting because I know you won’t you’ll get on with your life and I need to try. But know I’ll always have you in my heart and always be thinking about the what if. Maybe one day we’ll meet up once I have got back from traveling the world and you’re fully qualified and the spark will still be there and timing would be right then. I guess In the back of my mind I’m always hoping you’ll turn up at my door one night and tell me how much you miss me, how you regret your indecisiveness and you’ll beg for another chance, you’ll realise how incredible we could be if we both put in the effort and you would be willing to actually put that effort in consistently. But I know you and your mind is clearly made up on this. You don’t even miss me, you can live quite happily without me, I’m not on your mind, I’m not the person you think of when something great happens, I’m not the first person you want to reach out to when your upset. So I can’t let you take over my world, although you have taken over my mind and have created quite a home for yourself there over these years I won’t let it affect how I live my life. I’ll continue pretending like I’m fine and one day maybe I will be.

So I guess what’s left to say is take this as a thank you. Thank you for absolutely everything you have done for me. Thank you for being the light in my life. Thank you for being there for me through some of the darkest days of my life. Thank you for sticking by me through these past four years. Thank you for just being you and showing me that I’m capable of that amount of love. Thank you for understanding me and showing me what its like to be loved and even though this has ended sourly please know you’ll always be the love of my life. I will always admire the courage you’ve taught me to have.

I’ll forever treasure you, and you will always be my fondest memories. I promise to never ever forget you and even though you may not continue to, I’ll forever love you as i promised you all those years ago.

I pinky promise.

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