#to read the book before watching the movie. but idk that that really applies to guitar? like most amazing guitarists today prob cant read

[darealsaltysam]

I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT

below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this

oh my god okay okay where do i even start

opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up

watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok

this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!

i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis

arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie

but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.

i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.

the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this

OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD

jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed

the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH

all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!

once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM

rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it

the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that

okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT

FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER

stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET

just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT

when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.

the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd

GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.

dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.

and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell

speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing

what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah

special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast

WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL

the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS

a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!

anyway. back to the horrors.

i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP

i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me

chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!

SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING

TIMOTHEE

FUCKING

CHALAMET

listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.

he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing

paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting

like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different

what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!

also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg

when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us

also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore

have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her

okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive

chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much

THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD

IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL

THE WORMS

THE SENSE OF SCALE

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY

THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME

THE SOUND

EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL

the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell

every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis

gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3

the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall

i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell

i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3

OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO

HERE WE GO YALL

THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK

THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!

THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start

okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys

paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around

i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more

i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?

but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.

oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.

theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point

another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!

this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani

chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"

i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.

sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3

[mazeinthemiroh]

hnnnn in my soft era so could i perhaps request a skz reaction to you prepping a whole self care day for them 🥺 like face masks massages everything cuz i love them

stray kids reactions to their s/o preparing a self-care day

genre: fluff

word count: 0.8k

warnings: extremely fluffy

please like and reblog if you enjoy :D

bangchan

if there's anyone more deserving of a self-care day, it's bang christopher chan. he's a workaholic, it's in his nature. it's admirable but you want him to have some time for himself. so when he finally has some time off for some quality time with you, you've got a whole pamper session planned out. face masks, delicious food, and pop on a feel-good movie. if you ask him though, his favourite way to relax is by cuddling and/or making out with you. depends on his mood but it's cute either way. it's always a self-care session just by being with you, you don't even have to do anything special for him ;-;

lee know

minho is into skincare routines and eagerly wants to be that couple who do it on each other. he mainly wants to see you with one of those fluff hairbands on because he says you look adorable. he will take lots of selfies of you both with them on because he's cute like that. when it comes to actually applying the products to your face, he's not going easy on you. can be quite brutal and also starts laughing at you because he makes your face look all strange with a mixture of products on #donttrusthim #menacetosociety

changbin

changbin will marry you on the spot if you suggest giving him a massage. he goes to the gym every day and works hard on his body. massages are always appropriate and always needed. he will literally melt if you ask him if you can massage his back and he will make happy binnie noises and have that cute smile on his face awww. just the whole routine of it, especially if you use proper massage oil, makes him feel so relaxed and refreshed. he will also return the favour and want to massage you too he's really good with his hands

hyunjin

hyunjin is all heart eyes when you reveal to him you planned a self-care day for the both of you. sheet face masks: on. sad, emotional romance films: on. tissues: ready. let's go. yes, hyunjin likes to spend his self-care day with you by indulging in his emotions and crying over fictional characters. he has you watching the notebook or me before you idk something to make you both bawl. it's so fun, 100% recommend. he's got a cute little candle lit and he's holding you close for comfort. it feels very... hyunjin in there, that's for sure.

han

hannie just wants to laze around and do nothing. that's his self-care day. because he's always doing something. it's very rare that he actually gets a mental break from things. cuddles are very important to him so he might pop on an anime or a cute little movie whilst being snuggled up in your arms. will 9 out of 10 times fall asleep like that. he's just so comfy and relaxed and your comforting presence creates the perfect mood for sleepy time. you both fall asleep with each other :( it's an adorable sight.

felix

this fluffy boy is having the best time of his life. he has so many ideas for a self-care day that he actually doesn't know what to do first. fluffy blankets and plushies are obligatory. felix wants to binge-watch a load of comfort movies, mostly disney and marvel, you get the idea. he just wants to snuggle up with you and be near you. you both will talk through all the movies and make fun of everything that's happening. for the sadder moments, of course, the laughter will stop and you both will hold each other, holding back tears.

seungmin

seungmin's idea of a self-care day consists of you, a good book and an unlimited supply of tasty snacks. you knew this, and so preparing a pamper day would be a piece of cake! just laying back with a cup of coffee, you leaning on his shoulder, reading the latest best-seller; he can't imagine being more at ease with life than he is now. it warms his heart that you wanted to day a self-care day with him. he will shyly thank you and shower you with extra love because he really appreciates your efforts.

jeongin

i really do see jeongin going out in his pyjamas to the grocery store in order to get some snacks for your self-care day. only if you come with him, of course. he's so excited when you mention the idea to him. he feels like it's been a long since he's spent one-on-one time with you. being busy with promotions for their latest comeback and whatnot, he loves to take any opportunity he can to chill out with you. this man is really into marvel so a marvel marathon is not too much of a shock. you guys don't go to sleep until the very early hours of the morning.

[elly99]

us without me IV: new jeans

A story series from the perspective of Mia (fem!Reader/OC) as she goes through her memories and recounts falling in love with her best friend in high school, Minji. She suffers in silence until she breaks and it all comes crashing down.

Part 4 of 7. Check here for more details. Reading previous parts for context is encouraged. CW for language.

“Mia-ya,” she calls from behind her locker door.

“Mmm?”

“You wanna do something this weekend?”

“I dunno. Just relax, I guess.”

“You don’t wanna do something together?” She closes her locker, revealing her face pouting at you.

There were so many things you wanted to do together. But you bury those ideas under the books you stuff into your own locker.

“Did you have something in mind?”

“Nothing in particular. Just something with you.”

Fucking hell.

“Well, I think I need new jeans. Help me pick out some?”

You catch her smiling to herself.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She giggles. “I’ll tell you later.”

“Why are you laughing?”

“I’ll tell you later!”

“김민지 이상하다.”

Before closing your locker you notice a tiny bear sticker on the door.

“How did this get here? We’re only a month in and you’ve already started vandalizing my locker?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, bro.”

“Is this why you were laughing at me?”

“No, no! But I will admit it’s funny how you only noticed it now. And also how easy it was to guess your code.”

“Wait, yeah! How the fuck did you know?”

“Mia! No need to be so angry that your best friend knows you so well.”

It slowly dawns on you. “You remembered the date?”

“Of course! The day we got these,” she says, lifting her ring finger up to your face. “It was my idea after all.”

You look down at your own fingers. And you start to feel your sanity slowly slipping through them.

“To be fair, it did take me a couple of tries before I got it. But still… I know you’re sentimental like that, so it wasn’t hard.”

As she proudly struts away to the cafeteria you spot her applying lip balm - the same one you used.

You thought you’d buried it in your locker along with everything else but you find yourself powerless to stop the idea of kissing her making its way back into your mind as the lip balm touches her lips.

-

The smell of spring wafted in through the open bedroom window. You had your phone to text her in one hand and the chocolate bar she got you on the walk home in the other.

so we’re just going shopping tomorrow?

yeah unless u had something else u wanted to do

wanna watch a movie?

huh? i thought u didnt like movies

yeah but i just want to spend time with you and i know you like going to the cinema so

You admire the blue ring on your finger and laugh.

My girlfriend really likes me, doesn’t she?

As long as you had it on you could pretend. So you never took it off.

i just checked and there arent any movies showing rn that im interested in

wanna come sleep over at my place then? we can watch the movies we want

wow u really wanna spend time with me huh

you got a problem with that bro?

no its just ur being sweeter than usual idk

well i do have something really important to tell you and i just wanna spend the day together so we can talk about it

No, Mia. It can’t be what you think it is.

is this what u were being so secretive about earlier?

yeah

why so serious bro is everything ok?

yeah everything’s perfect! i just want to tell you in person

No. Fucking. Way.

why not now?

i’ll tell you tomorrow dw

you promise?

of course! i’ll pick you up at 10? or is that too early?

no im fine with it but i doubt youll wake up that early

you’re right 😖 i’ll just text you tomorrow

sure

okie good night mimi ily 💗

good night <3

Mia, there’s just no way. Calm down. You’re being silly. You’re being delusional. Stop it.

You start laughing again at the absurdity of the situation. At the fact you were even entertaining the thought. You laugh until tears start pooling in your eyes. Until you forget why you were laughing in the first place. Until the tears fall and you find yourself crying into the night.

-

i’m up

congrats on waking up before noon ig

hey i set an alarm just for you so you better be grateful

woah im so touched

we have a date today so i better be on time right? 😊

Damn it, Minji.

does that mean youll be here soon?

yeah in 30

cool

It was 11:10. You’d gotten ready to go two hours ago. But she didn’t need to know that. She didn’t need to know that you were dying to know what it was she wanted to tell you.

hey i miss you

What the fuck?

bro whats up ur never this clingy

sorry i’m just really happy

about what?

you’ll see

It was 11:11. You wish for what you’d always wished for. You knew there was no point but with her being like this and your ring still on your finger, the line between fantasy and reality had never been more blurred.

-

Waiting outside your front door, you see her approaching from down the street. Even at that distance you could see the radiant smile she was giving you.

Often you wondered what life would have been like had you not moved in just down the street from her. Had you not gone to the same school. What if the universe didn’t give you so many opportunities to get close to each other? Why did it have to give you so many reasons to fall for her? But you had no choice. This was your life now. The girl you called your best friend, the one standing in front of you, was the person you so desperately loved.

“굿모닝.”

“It’s not morning anymore. You’re late.”

“미안!” You’re reminded that every apology would sound like your name. “But I’m here now. Let’s go.”

“Don’t you have something to tell me first?”

“Later. Over dinner.” Her smile was cheeky. Teasing.

“We have dinner plans?”

“Yup. My treat.”

Your heart trips over its own beats.

“Bro, it should be my turn.”

“Mia, no. This one’s important to me.”

Then it starts to scream as it hits the ground.

“My god, Min, what’s this about?”

“Don’t worry about it! Let’s just go get your new jeans first.”

She starts laughing again and you still don’t know why.

-

“Minji! No way!” you exclaim, shopping bags filled with clothes in one hand, her hand in the other as she tugs you along to a familiar part of the mall.

She just smiles and sticks her tongue out.

“This place is expensive!”

“But it’s your favorite. So it’s where we’re going.”

“Minjiii,” you whine.

“Hey, if you really cared about me spending too much you wouldn’t have such expensive taste. You left me no choice, to be honest.”

“Bro!”

For the first time in a while you’re laughing together. For a reason you both knew.

“For real, though, Mia. It’s fine! It’s my treat, so don’t worry about it.”

“You’re so sweet, Min.”

As if that needed further confirmation, she pulls out a chair for you.

“Mia! Are you blushing?”

“What? No!” You quickly cover your face with your hands. Your ring smiles a devilish smile as you bring it close.

“Don’t fall in love, bro,” she says teasingly. But it was way too late for that.

“What do you mean? I’m just excited for the food.”

“Sure.”

With that one word her expression changes. You couldn’t quite parse it. But you convinced yourself that there was something about her face that told you that she knew. And there was nothing more terrifying.

-

As your meal comes to a close and the night slows down she finally says it.

“Mia.”

“Minji.”

“I have something to tell you.”

“I know.” Your voice falters as your heartbeats quicken. You clear your throat to hide it. “Just tell me already.”

She leans over the table, looking straight into your eyes with something like anxiousness in hers.

“I’m… I’m debuting in July.”

In that moment, as your pounding chest comes to a crashing halt, there was no greater dissonance than wanting to be happy for your best friend but being disappointed that she didn’t want to be more than that. Being excited for her future but being bitter that her future wasn’t you.

Then came rage. Fury. The dissonance between expecting, wanting, praying for her to confess and knowing that that was just a puerile, selfish fantasy you conjured for yourself. “You’re being silly again,” is what she would have said. You were so angry and there was no one else to blame but you.

“Bro, I’m so happy for you!” you strain. “All that hard work’s finally paying off!”

“Thanks, Mia,” she says softly.

“I don’t even know why you were worried you wouldn’t debut! You’re so talented. It was always gonna happen. I’m so proud of you, Min!”

“Thank you,” she repeats with her eyes.

“So, what’s the name of your group?”

She laughs once more and you finally understand why.

“NewJeans.”

“Oh my god, no wonder.”

“But don’t tell anyone, ok?”

“Of course, bro. Why would you even think I’d tell anyone?” you ask a little more aggressively than you’d like, still barely controlling your anger. Thankfully, she doesn’t notice.

“Just making sure.”

“How many songs do you have?”

“Four. And, yeah, we’ll be filming our music videos in Spain.”

“Oh, wow!” You wonder how much longer you could hide it. How much longer until she realizes you were faking it. “When are you leaving?”

“Next week. Which is why I wanted to spend time with you this weekend.”

“Wait, will you be gone for your birthday, then?”

“Yeah…”

“Oh.” You struggle to find words to say as your anger is replaced by sadness. “I’ll miss you…”

“I’m sorry! I’ll miss you, too! I promise we’ll spend lots of time together when I get back.”

“But I’m sure you’ll be really busy even then. Even more when you debut…”

“Let’s not worry about it yet, Mia! I’m still here. And I’m just happy to be with you now.”

“Me, too.” You smile weakly.

“I’ll just go pay, ok? I’ll be right back, then we can talk more about it at home. We have all night anyway!”

“Thanks, Min. For the food. For today. For everything.”

“Aww, bro, you sound so sad!” she says as she stands up. You look up at her from your chair. Seeing your hand on the table, she gently wraps hers around it and you hear the subtle clink of your rings as they touch. “I’m still here, ok? I always will be.”

You don’t take your eyes off her as she walks away. And they remain glued to her in forbidden admiration as she returns. Every time you looked at her there was always a part of you that wanted to just rush over to her and tell her everything. That she was your everything. Your first love. Now, knowing the world would soon fall in love with her, too - because you knew everyone would - that part of you wanted to keep her all to yourself.

Then there was the part of you just happy to see her. To have her in your life. Because she did make you happy. She always tried her best to put a smile on your face. She was an angel like that and today was further proof of it. And her smile - the same one you could see on her face now as she approached you - it made you feel safe. Like things were going to be alright. There was a strange, counterintuitive comfort you found in it, knowing that, even if she didn’t know your pain, she’d be there for you. She thought the world of you. She loved you like no one else could. Just not in that way. And you were happy with that. You’d have to be.

“가자.”

At the sound of her soft voice your sadness gives way to resignation. You remind yourself that it wasn’t her fault she couldn’t give you what your heart yearned for. And in doing so, you could finally, truly be happy for her.

With your hand hidden from her in your pocket, you slip your ring off with your thumb as she takes you home.

[ckret2]

I’m a little curious in a previous post talking about flatland Bill says color wasn’t banned. Is color also something they can change like flatland, or are they born with it like skin? If they are born with it is does it also apply to the hierarchy, or is it just going to be based off of sides only? If they aren’t born with it, and it’s like clothing are there certain colors no one can be? Like how only important people could wear purple, so only circles can be purple? I watched a Flatland movie animation which I think is the right movie? I had no clue what was going in, but hope to get the book someday. Also since they have eyes at the edge of their bodies did they change it to the center when they left the 2nd dimension, or whatever happened. Is hugging with a line kind of awkward? I feel like it would be super easy to accidentally hug their face too. Sorry if this is a lot of questions I’m just very curious

(Before I say anything else, since you said you wanna get the book, I'm gonna drop this link on you!! Since Flatland is in the public domain, it's legally available for free through Project Gutenberg! And it's got the original illustrations too. Go forth and read Flatland. It's a fascinating little mix of geography lesson + sci-fi + social satire + cosmic horror. I haven't watched any of the movie adaptations yet, so idk how true they are to the book.)

I assume you're talking about this post! Now, this IS a work-in-progress fic, so some of my headcanons about Bill's backstory & home world are subject to change as I write and figure out what ideas would potentially work best. But so far my plans are thus:

In Bill's home dimension, shapes are naturally born with colors—the same way humans are born with different eye, skin, and hair colors; or (perhaps a more apt comparison to account for the wide variety), the way that a flower can potentially bloom with any color of the rainbow depending on its genes. And shapes CAN give themselves different colors, in the same way that humans can get tattoos or makeup.

Just like humans, changing their color could imply something about the person (for instance, in the same way that humans society makes different assumptions about somebody with purple lipstick and skeleton tattoos versus somebody wearing a full face of subtle natural-looking makeup), but in most places you're not gonna find any laws about what you can slap on your skin.

I've mentioned in another post that I choose to interpret Flatland as like Bill's home world, but not the same as Bill's home world—and in particular, it would be an absolutely terrible resource to learn about his world's society and politics. The original Flatland is a satire of Victorian-era beliefs about gender, disability, and social class, and it's great at being that; but I'm writing a fanfic in 2023 and I'm not interested in using Bill's backstory to comment on Victorian-era beliefs. I want to use Bill's backstory to comment on UFO cults, spiritual con artists, child celebrities, and gifted kid burnout. Those themes don't really call for society-wide anxiety over the physical markers of social status; the extreme dehumanization of the disabled; or a very rigid class system with limited opportunities for advancement. So I doubt I'll explore those elements in my version of Bill's home world.

So, yes—in Bill's world, a resourceful line could shade her ends to make herself look like a circle from the side. Exactly the same way that, in our world, a drag king could use makeup contouring to mimic a more "masculine" bone structure and eyeshadow to mimic beard stubble and then go to a drag show wearing a priest costume. In Flatland and in Victorian England, a line contoured like a circle/drag king in a priest costume would be outrageous and unacceptable. In Bill's world and in our 2023 society, the people who are offended by such a performance are on the losing side of history and screaming impotently as their influence dies, and you can go see a drag king priest and it's fine. You can even be a drag king priest. I believe in you. ✨

And since I'm having shapes be born different colors, I don't plan on having any association between specific colors and a hierarchical ranking. I'm not interested in recreating racism & colorism in fantasy math shape land.

Just to give you a sense of how much of Flatland's society I'm willing to throw out, I'm not even sold on whether I'm going to keep the triangle-to-circle shape hierarchy. If I do keep it, I'll be treating it the same way I'd treat other elements of Flatland's Victorian satire: like it might have been true ages ago but by Bill's time things have changed. Maybe there's still an informal hierarchy and you've still got a system in place that keeps the poor poor and the rich rich BUT it's much less formalized/codified than it was a few generations ago and there are more and more people who see these social forces as an unjust system—so for instance, maybe you still see more circles than triangles in politics because they come from families with old money that were already powerful a century ago, but if somebody unironically says "circles SHOULD be leaders because they're naturally morally and intellectually superior," it smacks of eugenics and nobody trusts that guy.

But I also might just... not keep the shape hierarchy and not keep the "each generation gets closer to a circle" worldbuilding at all. (I've already joked in another post about making Bill's dad a rhombus with no explanation just to confuse the people who have read Flatland.)

What's most likely, though, is that I just won't say anything for OR against the existence of a shape hierarchy, because it's just not something likely to come up based on the themes I'm writing about lmao.

Yes, I assume that (at least most of) the few shapes that survived from Bill's dimension eventually relocated their eyes "inside" their bodies, like he did, as part of adapting to live in 3D space. "Magic? Surgery? Divine intervention?" IDK—the exact mechanisms of how they did this body modding isn't a plot point I'm likely to explore. Bill made the change very quickly and immediately, because he WANTED to explore the third dimension and wanted a body that better accommodated that, and also because destroying his dimension came with a huge power boost and so he could just change himself like that. Guys like Kryptos or Hectorgon probably had to do it another slower way.

There might be other surviving shapes out there who didn't join Bill's crew, and some of them might still keep their eyes on their sides, so it's not a mandatory or universal change. But at least the shapes Bill still hangs out with apparently thought it was a good idea.

I feel like a human asking "is hugging with a line kind of awkward" is sort of like a snake asking "is hugging with humans awkward? Since they can't wrap each other up with their whole body? Like, that's gotta be limiting, right?" From a snake's perspective, humans hugging might be limited, but humans don't think so because we don't conceptualize hugging the same way that snakes do, and we invented the act of hugging in a way that's convenient to us; and from a human's perspective, hugging a line might be awkward, but shapes don't think so because getting your arm around a long flat surface is the normal way of hugging to them. They're just used to it. And also used to not squashing each other's faces. Unless it's a really tight hug.

Now, ALL OF THE ABOVE being said...

Most of this probably isn't gonna be directly explored in the fic! I can't think of any reason in the fic why I'd stop and talk about why shapes are colors (unless like Mabel asks or something lmao). But like, Kryptos is blue, and Bill is gold, and Bill's mother is the same color he is, and these things will probably get passing mentions in the fic, and so if you read that in a fic you can guess that the author probably headcanons "the shapes come in different colors" and "color might be hereditary, since mother & child are the same color" and "the characters don't talk about having had to paint/dye themselves or anything, so maybe they naturally come in those colors?" but like I'm not likely to talk about it directly! Same goes for most other aspects of Bill's home society that aren't directly relevant to the kind of story I'm trying to tell.

Which means: this post, outside of the fic, is what I'm currently thinking I'll do. But if I don't actually talk about this in fic, what I've said in this post is probably still true: but what's MORE TRUE and MORE IMPORTANT is "if I didn't bring it up in the fic itself, it's not something necessary for you to know to understand the fic." For example, if I don't bring up the Flatland shape hierarchy, then you're free to make whatever assumptions you want about whether one is/isn't there in the background: but not bringing up a hierarchy DOES mean that you're not supposed to interpret Bill's character/backstory on the assumption that a hierarchy had an important, measurable impact on his life. If it were important to the fic, it would be in the fic.

I've said in a few other posts that I don't want a single part of this Gravity Falls fic to require the audience to know any story except Gravity Falls. That applies to Flatland, too. You don't have to read it to understand what I'm doing with Bill's backstory. Any worldbuilding from Flatland that I want you to know, I'll bring up in the fic; and therefore any Flatland worldbuilding I don't reference in the fic isn't necessarily canon to the fic.

(That doesn't mean I won't still answer headcanon asks that aren't directly relevant! I love headcanon asks. It's just that I know that people will probably read my fic assuming "if the author doesn't explicitly mention X, then the way the fic handles X is probably exactly identical to Flatland and we should make assumptions based on that." I'm trying to prevent that! It's actually the opposite: if Flatland does X and I never mention X, that probably means it isn't the same in my fic.)

[runninguplenorahills]

Lenora you’re back!!!!!💕💞💕💞

How have you been?

Heyyyy✨🌞

I’ve been doing pretty great honestly. I got through my finals and I actually did quite well :)). I didn’t take the biology exam though because holy fuck I can’t even do simple math and we were supposed to do crazy equations, no calculators allowed💀. So yeah, didn’t study at all and woke up in a cold sweat like three days before the exam and quickly set myself on inactive because I would’ve definitely fucking flunked it. But English went great, got one of the best grades out of the entire course for my presentation I was sweating buckets over beforehand, linguistics went well as well and the rest was just pass or fail and fortunately I passed but I’m still waiting on a feedback for my pedagogy portfolio. Speaking of waiting, I spent weeks in February working on my art portfolio and applied for art school and I’m waiting for a response to that, too.

I also finally read “The song of Achilles” but it sadly didn’t earn its place next to my favorites, like, it was actually only three stars for me if I’m really honest. Currently I’m reading “Persuasion” (I’m about half way through) and that books actually pretty great but the first like 80 pages are just like, set up lmao. But after that it quickly gets better!!! I haven’t continued reading in a couple of days though which I should absolutely do soon because the new semester starts in two weeks and then idk how much time I’ll have to read. I’m actually taking British and American literature classes in the new semester which I’m pretty excited about!!!!

Oh boy, I also finally watched s5 of Miraculous and the alternate universe Paris special and the movie and bro, s5 was an absolute dumpster fire…. Actually fucking insane. But the Paris special was kinda entertaining lol, and I can’t lie…. the movie was pretty good. Like… it was honestly great hahahah. I also watched Cars btw! I have watched the first part before but never the rest and then my sister wanted to watch Cars so we did and yeah, Cars is amazing ofc. I also finally watched But I’m a Cheerleader which was all over the okays but it was funny and I loved the ending. I’m trying to remember what else I watched but I don’t remember anything else… hmmm… Oh!! Omg, I watched Christopher Robin and I didn’t not except that movie to be as good as it was. I was in genuine tears over fucking everything and yeah, very enjoyable. I also watched The Sixth Sense which was good, did not see the plot twist coming though, Like, spoiler! I literally remember thinking “oh.. so he survived I guess” when it says “next fall” like a fucking idiot 😭. I don’t think I watched any other movies though.

Wait, I also read the entirety of Jackson’s diary on webtoon and it was a fucking roller coaster.

Other than that I’ve been hanging a lot with my friends, especially those who moved to another city for university. There’s this café we always and in the past two weeks we’ve gone three times and you can borough games to play and we usually play scrabble which is always sm fun!

Oh and holy shit, I turned fucking 20!?!?! Absolutely batshit insane, I cannot believe it.

Also, I just kinda left tumblr very like, impulsively because I had finals coming up and thought it’d be distracting, but also, tumblr tends to suck the life out of me sometimes so I thought taking a break would be worth it either way. After finals where over I then had to work on my art portfolio and I have a huge procrastination problem so I stayed off tumblr because I knew it would make it worse and so I just left and didn’t reply to anyone, which, I’m sorry, I missed you and the other mutuals so much but I also don’t think that many people even noticed that I took a break in the first place. Anyway,I’ll probably dip when Uni starts again as well but I thought it’d be nice to catch up with y’all before that happens.

How have you been doing :))💓💗💓💗💓

[yesimwriting]

Have you ever told your mom a funny story that happend to you and she takes that story and twists it around so that she can give you a lesson and you get frustrated and start yelling at eachother because you have little to no liberty and feel suffocated and resort to choosing to spend time in your room and not have/ want a relationship with your parents?

Yea me too

unfortunately i get what you mean :( sometimes you're just trying to tell your mom something and it turns into a lecture for no reason so then you just stop sharing things

i'm so sorry you're going through that, it's super overwhelming,,

idk if you're looking for any kind of advise, but i've had friends come to me about similar situations and i have some experience with similar stuff,, so i wrote a little bit of that below the cut

if you're not looking for anything like that or it doesn't apply,, feel free to ignore and just know that i'm wishing you the best

i wish i had a concrete solution on how to fix it, i've had really close irl friends ask me about the same family issues and the only type of "solution" (using the word super loosely btw) i've ever been able to think of is to maybe get into the habit of letting your mom/parent set the topic/tone of conversation so that there's no conflict when you have to be around them

i'm also a firm believer in memorizing/picking out a few "safe" topics depending on how rocky/safe your relationship with your parent(s) is,, you know your mom/parents more than me, but generally i feel like some examples of "neutral" enough topics include: asking about their day, mentioning a positive update on a hobby/personal activity that they approve of, and certain pop culture elements (you can mention a movie/show you watched or a book you read in passing as long as the movie/book aren't about things they disapprove of).

idk if that sounds dumb,, but in my experience with my dad, mentally picking out neutral/safe topics before seeing him has helped me talk to him without causing any fights

if you don't feel safe/comfortable trying to talk to them about anything, there's nothing wrong with that. it's not your responsibility to try to build a relationship with them. idk your age or where you're at in life, but this makes it sound like you live with your parents,, just know that you won't be in this place forever 🩵

[spookfished]

media roundup june 2023

hey guys guess who just went "oh its the 4th of july. that means that its july" here im going to talk about things i read/watched/played last month! i didnt read as much but did finish a couple books that ive had checked out Forever. ok actually i read a lot woops

books/comics/written media:

fake dates and mooncakes by sher lee: fake dating (obv) premise between a cooking boy and a rich heir! book that made me realized im honestly just not that interested in ya romance anymore LMFAO. pretty sweet and a decent read, but landed more heavily on the expository end of uhh i guess diaspora fiction? than i really prefer. i think i picked this up bc the author got mega cancelled on tyk twitter lol??

bird by bird by anne lammott: book about how to write. i love to read about how people do stuff :3 some of the advice applies pretty universally to creative efforts i think.. made me want to write more too

john dies at the end by jason pargin: DNF. comic/horror about this loser guy who discovers stuff. sigh i tried so hard to like this book its supposed to be pretty 'mecore'...talked about this with alena a bunch but its like hm... i know the sort of casual offensiveness sort of goes in hand with being poor and white and in the midwest and i appreciate how its like that creates its own doomed narrative or whatever. but also i feel like the protagonist would call me slurs or something. also the lowgrade but pervasive orientalism is kinda offputting. probably fun for some other guy! i did enjoy the horror elements though

the goldfinch by donna tartt: literary coming of age about a boys relationship with a painting (the goldfinch). also he flops a lot and its sort of homoerotic i guess? a movie was made of it. so something to note is that ive had this book out on loan since literally december. neil kept on being like hey man just stop reading it LMFAO. thoughts cp'ed from discord:

why does the goldfinch feel like a 600 page leadup to the actual book which is 800 pages

idk at this point im kinda sick of pathetic lovelorn self obsessed semi literary men. like toku men are also sopping and pathetic but i think its more appealing when they are also kind and can be vulnerable. this guy is just annoying and kind of incel coded. like does a grand gesture to make up for the fact that he killed your dog while dogsitting

i actually did enjoy the parts post timeskip but i still think the first two thirds could have been cut or Greatly compressed or interspersed w the present or Something, yk? prose was nice though

the bodyguard by katherine center: romance novel about a woman bodyguard who lives for her job. fresh from a breakup, shes given a new undercover assignment with a handsome actor, recently withdrawn from society. will they be able to break each others' shells....? my mom recommended this to me LMFAO we kind of have different tastes in romance.. ive read a book by this author before i think her platonic scenes are very strong? i wish there had been a couple more of those. also i like how she always includes a life affirming section at the end about how important it is for us to open ourselves up to love etc etc cute but not especially memorable

kiss quotient by helen hoang: (reread) a shy, autistic econometrician decides that she needs to get better at sex, and so hires an escort. helen hoang is one of my faavorite romance authors i really enjoyed this reread although i kinda forgot that both leads say, think and do some pretty embarrassing things. but you know a little embarrassment is endearing and all that.. i still prefer her other book (the bride test) but this one is pretty good too. vivid characters 👍

sisters of dorley hall by alyson greaves: web fiction - a trans woman infiltrates a secret force-feminization program. ok im just cp'ing my thoughts from discord again but i enjoyed it a lot:

my thoughts are that the first like, third? is really really good. it like idk takes the very real trans fears of like discovery and passing and all that and fictionalizes them a bit. but like its still grounded and swag. sooo tense once The Reveal happens n things w steph are pretty normal it gets kinda meandering? which i dont really mind bc i love interpersonal drama even if i miss how tense and scary it was. but also theres only like two major plot threads going on rn and theyre both pretty slowburn. a timeskip would probably benefit tbh like the point rn is kinda like. the 7 year meteor? yeah sorry

like it used to be sort of psychological thriller? and now its sort of more character focus and also surprisingly fluffy.. im surprised that the author has said they have a complete outline bc it doesnt feel very focused atm? but also like i suppose things are snowballing a bit re: revealing the sisters to the outside world

an unauthorized fan treatise by lauren james: a fangirl trying to prove her rpf ship is real uncovers a greater conspiracy. to me if something is able to capture a specific age/vibe from the internet its automatically pretty good. however more and more people are learning how to do that so maybe i should change my standards... i was never involved in All That re: rpf or even fandoms of live action shows until kamen rider? but like i definitely knew people in hs that were sort of like this LMFAO so it felt very familiar. i appreciate the author trying to make that $$ but i dont know if it really needs an expansion/sequel.. the ending is better off with some ambiguity imo

impossible us by sarah lotz: literary romance? a man and a woman fall in love online, but encounter difficulties when they try to meet. ok im just pasting my thoughts here again (spoilers btw):

ok that was a lot of stuff. onto movies/tv:

xo kitty: kitty goes to a school to connect with her online boyfriend, but all is not well. yall this was not good. i guess my standards shouldnt have been that high but to all the boys ive loved before was so cute!! (havent watched/read the others). but like.. the writing was bad and the main actress just wasnt very sympathetic or charming? characters waste time saying "i can explain" until time runs out for them to actually explain, additional (and nonsensical) romance plots are added for no reason, and the male lead isnt even that hot. sorry. also kitty deciding to move to korea to connect with her mom but not bothering to learn a speck of korean and insisting that everyone else speak to her in english really sucks honestly. not even my mom liked it so thats how you know its bad 👎

succession season 1: yesss succession. greg is my favorite cant wait to see him become evil. makes me stressed

shin kamen rider (hideaki anno): reboot of the first kamen rider by the guy who made evangelion. this guy kinda makes the same thing over and over but it looked sick as hell so i wasnt complaining. like stella obstinaterixatrix said, kinda more introspective or even insular to the point of kinda ignoring the usual kr theme of justice but it was still very fun :3 kinda want to watch the original now

ready player one (movie): my parents made me watch this movie. aggressively mediocre.

kamen rider revice and live and evil and demons: pretty fun if you have the disease that makes you think revice is good, but mostly made me miss revice. i think they should have gone more into the clone thing but i always think that so

kamen rider juuga vs kamen rider olteca: two-parter special for kr revice. i forgot what happened in this pretty much immediately after but karizaki was hot

roman holiday: a princess touring in rome escapes her duties for a day, and meets a dashing young reporter. classic romance!! i actually liked this so so much like it actually is very romantic and funny and like deserves the hype. didnt expect it to be in black and white even so audrey hepburn is really hot. (spoilers) more romances should have bittersweet endings though like it hit

kamen rider ryuki: a young man is inducted into a battle royale between those fighting for their deepest wishes, and decides to try and stop the rider battle once and for all. hey guys ryuki is so fucking good for those who have watched madoka magica a lot of it is very heavily based off of/inspired by ryuki! but ryuki does it better. pretty much The kamen rider has so much to say about justice and love and what it means to be a hero and sacrifice and *runs out of air and falls over* also it made me cry. if you ever try kamen rider try this one <3

EDIT OH i forgot about across the spiderverse 100/10 obviously groundbreaking in animation nice take on generational trauma and also like the nature of adaptation and being in a multimedia comics franchise and all that. really hope the sequel doesnt get crunched too bad. oh but copaganda not great 99/10

video games:

twisted wonderland: gacha game where random disney villains are bishie high schoolers instead. ill play chapter 3 sometime soon i swear. gameplay is terrible as with most gacha games but the characters are cute? i feel terrible guilt for being involved with a disney franchise. honestly pretty compelling character writing sometimes though sorry

apico: stardew-like about raising bees (in beta). sooooo cute and the devs obv care about bees a lot in real life. the gameplay loop + breeding systems are a little bit punishing right now though i really hope it gets adjusted. took over my life during finals (woops) and i got like half the bees and then burnt out. multiplayer is fun though!

legend of zelda tears of the kingdom: the next zelda game, now featuring building + vertical elements. yeah this took over my life for two months like it did for a bunch of other people i finished the main story a couple days ago! i might go back to do a couple more of the shrine puzzles, but other than that i think im done. LOVE the vertical elements and also all the little sidequests there are to do and how the world has changed since botw. dragons tears was really good and OMG PROVING GROUNDS. would be a 10/10 if zelda was the protag stop damseling her you guys cmon

paper mario origami king: newest paper mario game, which is a spinoff of the main series where theyre all paper (duh). im about halfway through this, i think? tried it out because of the dunkey video lol and also bc it was free at my library. very charming and inventive, has a really good soundtrack and really funny writing! i know the gameplay was controversial, but im enjoying it a lot (and theres a lot of room for error). might 100% it

it feels like this month i tried a lot of things that i didnt really like LMAO. also a lot of romance. im very happy about finally finishing the goldfinch! the only holdout on my libby is slaughterhouse 5 :P i did find some things that i really liked though! anyways this one feels a bit more scattered but if you got to the ending, congratulations! thanks for reading :3

[caliburn-the-sword]

Spoiler warning: Ruin and Rising, Encanto, The Blood Traitor (Lynette Noni)

Controversial opinion of the day: I actually like the *protagonist loses magic at the end of the story* trope. I don't think I have to specify that this is only the case when it's done well lmao because that literally applies to anything and everything.

First I’m going to start with Shadow and Bone. I haven't read the series in years and have not been up to date beyond Six of Crows (the rest of the books are buried under my tbr lol) so like forgive me if I'm misremembering or if new information has been revealed, but to me, Alina no longer being the Sun Summoner was the right thing to do. She was never this saviour, this messiah, she was an ordinary girl who loved a boy. Losing her magic meant she lost that status, letting her return to being an ordinary girl who loved the boy. And isn't part of the hero's journey to return home?? Losing her magic doesn't make her lose her memories or experiences, what makes Alina Alina. It was just one part of her though that said book Alina didn’t have that many other parts to her so I’m glad that netflix Alina has a lot more personality lmao

ANYWAY moving onto the Prison Healer. Now idk just how popular this is as a book from Australia so you might not have a clue what I’m talking about lmao but anyway, Kiva losing her magic was ALSO necessary. Ngl I was pissed with her refusing to apologise to so many people for such a large portion of the book, but her losing her magic at her sister’s hands was ALSO necessary. This one is a lot more obvious than Shadow and Bone, thankfully, it’s quite literally stated in the book. It’s the ultimate act she had to make in order to redeem herself for Jaren, even when he’s already forgiven her. There is also her making sure she doesn’t ever become like her sister or mother, but more importantly than that, I think, is that she is correcting a wrong her ancestor Torvin made centuries ago. I’m not entirely sure about the concept of afterlife in Wenderall, but Sarana can now be at rest because (for now) Torvin’s power has been laid to rest, which was what set this entire thing in motion to begin with. And I feel like Kiva is so like and unlike Alina, in that she supressed her powers for so long like Alina until it surfaced because they saved someone they loved, but unlike Alina, Kiva also spent a lot of time in fear of her own power. The way I saw it, she didn’t necessarily have a love for her power. It’s literally stated that unlike the Vallentis’ elemental power, Kiva’s comes from her love of people. The way she often described her power, it’s a practical thing, it’s a tool that she can use to heal, but not her only tool, which is why it’s an especially amazing thing she goes to the Wenderall equivalent of med school.

And this is where Encanto unfortunately falls short. I cannot describe how happy I was watching the Madrigal family losing their power. This wasn’t in a vindictive, yes, now they all know how Mirabel felt, because that would be drawing the completely wrong conclusion. This has definitely be said a 100 times before by many other people, but Mirabel’s family needed to lose their powers in order to properly heal, for the abuela to finally learn her lesson. And so it felt like it was cheapening that when the Madrigals got their magic back. There has been no permanent consequences (and I very hesitantly use that term, because no family should suffer just for one to learn, but I can’t think of any better term) that the abuela has to accept and adapt to. Don’t get me wrong I loved the movie, this is really the only bone I had to pick with it.

You don’t have to agree with me, of course. But I do hope that if you have previously hated this trope, you have some food for thought.

[darianias]

Is this normal for Demis or are these just me???

I have ADHD so this just getting bigger lol but I guess this can apply to anyone, esp the second part, but in this case it's in a semi context for me?

A fun and interesting aspect of being #demisexual and #demiromantic (at least towards functional characters in my case as that's what this is about and I've only ever felt this way towards them, probably a psychological thing tbh) or it could just be a me thing... Either way!

Is that the longer I hyperfixate or enjoy a fandom for extended periods of time I tend to slowly fall for more people even YEARS after I started it and I pick it back up later. 😂

Like in Demon Slayer / Kimetsu no Yaiba this past week or the week before I fell for Obanai. Like I had no inkling of an idea that this would happen . I have now fallen for all but one of the Hashira men (men, not male), Gyomei and also have fallen for Yoriichi.

Like... when I first watched it, I would not of been able to tell you this, heck I believe when I first read/finished the manga I had one. ONE guy I simped for being Kyojuro, I believe. Maybe two (second being Giyu) as I have no sense of time, but I know Sanemi was the third for me, and that happened AFTER I finished the manga.

Like I felt nothing for most of them, heck any of them for a while, given I watched season 1 when it came out partially and felt nothing, then the rest when the Mugen train movie came out, still nothing. Then I watched the second season and read the manga and finished it immediately after. (The second season being when I was like Oh SHIT. NO. HE DIES. HEART WHYYY) And now I feel like I am unintentionally "playing pokemon" with the adult male slayers (to count Yoriichi in) like.... 😂

I don't think I'll fall for any of the Oni / demons.... but that's under my terms as for me looking at their human forms and the Oni / demon forms is like comparing Crisis Core Sephiroth to when the Jenova virus/genetics has taken over his mind, or like a zombie virus, they aren't quite the same people imo. Like I simp for Sane Sephiroth, not the most famous/infamous one lol. So like an example: Hakuji =/= Akaza, as he's not himself when he's an Oni.

That being said I've gotten attached to a few of those former lives so time will tell I guess? If that attachment will go anywhere else? 😂😅

(Note: so far I've never felt that sort of attraction towards women- just squishes, would like to be QPPs or kinning at most- so I'm assuming I'm demi-het but I don't have enough experience with NB characters to know yet for sure. But for all I know any of that can change. 🤷‍♀️ Everytime I happens in general it takes me by surprise lol)

ALSO THINKING ABOUT HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT TWO DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF CHARACTERS, this might get controversial/ me cancelled but fuck it

A REALLY WEIRD THING (might also just be a me thing, that might get me cancelled but y'know fuck it) is being attracted to a character's adult version, like in fan art??? So like attracted to aged up versions of characters.

For example, Eijiro Kirishima from MHA. Like I feel absolutely nothing towards canon Kirishima other than he's a sweet baby that needs protected at all costs. But then I saw a fan art of adult him huge and buff/beef cake with long but still kinda spiky hair similar to l Ryoma from Fire Emblem Fates or Like Axel/Lea from Kingdom Hearts (that might of been not helping ) and I feel attracted to that specific version of him. Like very, very, specifically, even other fanarts of a grown up versions of him just doesn't hit me without that hair or him without long hair and idk why. I don't normally feel attracted to someone bc of physical qualities so I cannot even phantom an explainstion😅😂

LIKE THIS PICTURE RIGHT HERE, THIS EXACT PICTURE STARTED IT I HAD TO GO FIND IT and it just makes me feel mushy everytime, credit in alt text:

So like when I watch the anime or read the manga it just feels like looking at an old school picture book, photo albums and videos at MOST. Like PRECIOUS BEAN, I protecc. That is a child, a puppy. I could NEVER. And then I see the fan adult version of him and I swear it's like two brothers?? or a dad and son??? but it's the same character and like...?? It makes me feel real weird and awkward bc like... yeah he has Kirishima's personality 1:1 but I don't feel that way about actual canon Kirishima myself as that is A HUGE NO. That is a baby in my eyes.💀🤢 Like I legitimately usually watch/read with me thinking of me/my sona as married to Aizawa and helping the class or with Keigo/Hawks. (Or a sane, au version of Touya/Dabi but that's less typical bc the canon one also is a big no for me, he is scary 😬😰)

This also has happened with Bakugo and Shouto too later, like.... y'all need to stop with the adult versions of them bc they're making me feel things which are kinda controversial (at least on TikTok) which makes me feel kinda anxious about it all 😵‍💫, and then like I create two versions of them in my head because I just love the fandom adult versions of them??? And it feels separate from the canon version?

And at least with TikTok's climate I couldn't tell many people this in like comments, bc they immediately assume I am a predator- which like esp if not specified I can get 💯 but like. It's not like that 💀 I stumbled upon some fan art of a guy who could be his elder brother or father and like that is who I like.

Is this somewhat normal or just me??? 😭😰

[skylarstarlight]

Sob.

Couldn't reblog the original anymore, but Tag game!! Tagged by @tecchous-thicc-buttocks

Picrew

They didn't really have the ability to make the hair fade to a different color or a lot of purple thingies, but I'm satisfied with the result! It's cute!

I'll also do all of em-

hardcover or paperback // bookstore or library // bookmark or receipt // stand alone or series // nonfiction or fiction // thriller or fantasy // friends to lovers or enemies to lovers // read in bed or read on the couch // read at night or read in the morning // keep pristine or markup // cracked spine or dog ear (Dog ear is just plain barbaric tf)

APPEARANCE

i’m over 5’5”(I am 5'5 and a bit does that count?) // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing (no real preference, it's not by a lot)// i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile (tis the tism) // i am pleased with how i look (smash /j nah I'm like decently happy)// i prefer nike to adidas (what even are brands, I like neither) // i wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami (the very basic ones)// i prefer movies to tv shows (neither!)// i can execute a perfect somersault (thank you PE classes I hate you with a passion)// i enjoy singing (I do sound like a dying cat tho)// i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends (my very limited bubble, the rest are a chore) // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand (not without a wall tho)

RELATIONSHIP

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me //i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETICS

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours (eh?) // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths //autumn is my favourite season (the way none of these really apply to me, sad)

MISCELLANEOUS

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive manual // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower (bath) // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

FIVE RANDOM FACTS

Just going to recycle 3 I've used before-

I have broken my pinkie finger because of a towel before. It was like 35° askew it was not pretty (I did not faint, somehow, but it hurt like a bitttccch)

I have low blood pressure and am prone to fainting as a result (No physical activities for me!)

I did a year of Uni Maths (Currently in the exam period) but I plan to go into Graphic Design now

And now 2 original ones:

I won 2 graduation awards at High School Prom Night (I think that's the right one? Idk Belgian school system doesn't quite translate to freedom units) as the only person to even be nominated for 2, and they were the biggest "fuck you"s they had available. They're very much plastic, but they have custom engravings!

I was a finger artist up till a month or so ago (You can probably tell by how my style has finally stabilized)

Tag time! Well... I am anxious, so really whoever wants to can go (I am a coward) ... @mixxdpunch ?

[thatcharmingjerk]

15 questions/15 people

got tagged by @angry-velociraptor , cheers!! I love these things! :D I’m just horrible at remembering to actually do them!! x’’’’3 

1. are you named after anyone?

HMM I guess?? Like my given name was after a granma of mom or something I think but my real (second) name is after dads dad! 

2. when was the last time you cried?

I really can’t say???? I don’t really cry because of sadness these days but i do tear up because of dumbest shit!!! Its wild how easily I can get happy/emotional tears!!!

3. do you have kids?

oHOHHAHAHAAAHA nope. No thank you. At least I have that going on for me for being trans!!!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

I don’t know ;;w;; Sometimes yes but I think people sometimes depict stuff I just say as sarcasm idk!!!! I used to be sarcastic me thinks?? These days not that much tho??

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

HMMM like- the aura??? The presence??? Style, what you’re wearing, what accesories there is, piercings, tattoos, or lack of them! Height too, kinda at least like I just noticed last time I met a friend how short she is????? And I’ve known her for like 5 years!!?!?!?!? I’m also very bad with faces! 

6. what’s your eye color?

Greyish blue! 

7. scary movie or happy endings?

As a greedy bisexual; BOTH!!!! Seriously tho both have their charm, and they don’t really even exclude each other. I don’t really have preference for either, if the movie is good then its good!!!

8. any special talents?

Well, art?? And I can move my ears at will!! 

9. where were you born?

In hopsital öhöhöhhehehvfgdjfs but yea Finland

10. what are your hobbies?

Arts and crafts, as you can guess, drawing/painting/sculpting/needle felting, but I hike/take walks with the dogy, I love watching birds and other creatures and nature in general on walks..! Moss is life!!! I keep plants and aquarium, i’d love to get second tank only for shrimps!! And paleontology and mythology nerding, i do play them cursed videogames bit too, oh yeah I read too, like actual books of paper!! Tryna teach myself to read more again!! That’s some of it! 

11. do you have any pets?

Dogy and fish!! Aamu the dog and Peetu the kala!!! also shrimps! 

12. what sports do you play/have you played?

Not really anything?? Haha, like I used to really like football and uhh salibandy?? sähly??? as kid (idk floor ball??? ground hickey!?!?!?) and participated on class teams (badly cause I was astmathic fat kid) for those and also randomly in basket ball too??  I wasn’t really athletic but I wish I had been!! I did some horse riding too, nothing proper though cause we were poor but yeahh..! 

13. how tall are you?

166cm, i’mma short king ! 

14. favorite subject in school?

As kid I liked almost everything, I used to love math, but hmm, lets say art and biology!! 

15. dream job?

Oughhhhh idk............. Part time something???? I wish I could do more ceramics?? But idk, maybe concept artist or character designer?? Maybe paleoartist??? idk, tbh I been thinking about applying for retirement and just do whatever dabbling |’’’3 I think I really need to get my mental health in order properly before I can really think career??? I really wish I had some sorta handler or secretary or manager anyways !!!!!! Oh right if i didn’t have allergies I’d probably be some sorta animal dude, like horse trainer or something!! 

tagging: HMM LETS SEE @lil-bear-femme @kuoringankalmo @theonlygayinoulu @niborniac @chundertale 

[luvxiem]

their nighttime routines

word count ! idk </3 pairing ! artem, luke, marius & vyn x gn!reader genre ! fluff

.｡.:*☆ ARTEM !

as soon as he comes home from work, he takes his suit jacket off and greets you with a kiss

doesn’t like to bring work home because he wants to spend time with you

always asks about your day and listens with a soft smile while holding your hands and rubbing your knuckles with his thumb

on days where he doesn’t have to go to the firm the next day he’ll put on a movie for you two to watch and make his specialty hot cocoa (mf puts crack in there why is it so good)

on days where he does have to go in, he’ll lay in bed with you after cleaning up and read more of the book he’s currently interested in. just likes to exist in the same space as you

never fails to remind you how much he loves you before falling asleep

.｡.:*☆ LUKE !

opens the door and shouts “BABE IM HOME”

likes to do his skincare routine with you and gets pouty if you did it before he got back

also really loves to take showers with you but it’s wholesome. likes to give you soapy mohawks and lets you give him a beard

this man wears only boxers to bed and it’s because his body runs really hot for some reason

plays candy crush on his ipad before he sleeps. he’s currently replaying levels while waiting for more to be released

when you’re both a little sleepy he talks about his day and listens with a tired smile as you do the same

tries to stay up as long as possible because he loves to listen to you talk but always ends up falling asleep before you. makes up for it in the morning by peppering kisses all over your face

.｡.:*☆ MARIUS !

love love LOVES doing face masks with you and tries to do it three times a week. dude is obsessed with skincare

gets those cute character style sheet masks and takes selfies in the mirror with you

really likes it when you apply it for him. it’s just an excuse to wrap his arms around you while you stand between his legs as he sits on the toilet lid

sometimes he has to bring work home and he’s always so apologetic about it

this man basically worships you. despite all his teasing he genuinely adores you so much and never wants you to feel as if he’s putting work before your relationship

but that’s just the life of an heir to a major company. it is what it is

.｡.:*☆ VYN !

my beloved.,,,,

makes it his personal goal to eat dinner with you every day

also really enjoys bathing with you. it’s an intimate affair that he cherishes

after doing his daily audio log, he’ll rest on the sofa with two cups of herbal tea to wind down; one for you and one for him

asks about your day as he lays you on his chest and runs his fingers through your hair mindlessly

vyn doesn’t like to use electronics in bed because it’s bad for his eyes, so he’ll continue the novel he’s currently reading before bed

keeps a water bottle on the nightstand for you in case you get thirsty in the middle of the night

his body temperature is lower than average so the two of you have a lot of blankets to make up for it. and lots of cuddles

ORIGINALLY WRITTEN ! 080621

[potatopossums]

my platonic polyamory

polyamory as an aroace is fuckin wild

(i say this as someone who fluctuates in and out of their ace label. some days I'm ace, other days I'm allo. it's confusing and wild and probably has a lot to do with medication rn. anyhow, i have a lot of empathy and personal understanding for each side of that spectrum.)

i made a post a while back that was something along the lines of "my version of polyamory is just holding hands w all my friends"

and like, yes

to expand upon that, bc that definition is still pretty loose, i think I'm coming to better terms with the word "platonic."

not every aro person is alloplatonic and i probably am alloplatonic but I'm also a recovering people pleaser and i think that contributed a ton to my struggle to feel close to friends (not the only struggle by a longshot but still)

somehow my closest friends have also been people who are neurodivergent, which says a lot for my own neurodivergency: an aspect i often overlook or forget bc i was diagnosed as an adult, so i spent forever framing my life that way, so ofc I'd forget i have ADHD and "oh that's why I do that!!!" happens a lot.

but like. back to "platonic."

i never understood platonic attraction when i first heard of it. i heard the term squish and was like "wut." i understood what it meant for other people and I respected that but i never ever felt like i had a friend crush on anyone. i had crushes that were aesthetic and sexual but never platonic that i was aware of. maybe i wanted platonic things to come along naturally but idk. i don't recall ever looking at someone and thinking "ah yes i want to be their friend so badly!" i don't think i experience that, and if i do, it's demiplatonic, which is hilarious if you think about it, because that requires that I'm ALREADY FRIENDS with someone before i realize how much i want to be friends with them. and that's if that happens at all.

yeah, no, most of the time i just enjoy hanging out with my friends and doing normal friend stuff but once I'm done doing that I'm done and I'm off to my own stuff again. i enjoy being out in public and i have a social job so i like being in social environments to get my people time indirectly, and friend time can be a nice way to relax and explore, but often times I'm just meh? like it's cool but also mm ok. i just do things with people based on how interested they seem in hanging out with me and how much i enjoy hanging out around them and whether we get along during our planned hangouts. seems weird to type it out that way, but that's how my brain operates. kind of how my mind works for sex as well, but that's a different post.

but platonic used to be kind of a dull word for me. like, it really lacked the excitement that romantic held for me, especially in terms of the books I'd read or the movies I'd watch. they were so much more exciting and always filled with some kind of fantasy adventure if i could manage to find that genre. i loved that stuff. it was about people who came to really know and understand and care about each other through their journey and they overcame things together, or they overcame things by applying what they learned from each other. i thought that was the best damn thing ever.

fast forward to me learning I'm aro. and now I'm looking back at all those relationship dynamics in the stories and movies i enjoyed, minus the unearned, not priorly verbally discussed romantic elements, and I'm like OH SO THAT'S WHAT PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE.

like sure I have friends who are very much acquaintances, work friends, etc. people i don't see outside of work often, people who i don't talk to very much, but people i still care about. and then there are my Friends who just AGH i will go on a whole expedition with them if they're up for it. and i love that. and some of my friendships didn't really have that foundation but have it now, some of them are still developing that, and some were like that from the start (shout out to my aro friends we are INSANE and go on adventures every damn day somehow).

but to me, Platonic is when your people go with you on quests and Tolkien-esque adventures. u can't change my mind.

[monsterkissed]

😈 🎶 💖 ✅ ✨ :)

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

mmmmmmmmyes and no! i write a lot of mean stuff but i find that you can't really be Truly mean without having the exact nature of the meanness be intertwined with the story and characters. so there is always a method to the meanness that i hope stands alone on its own merit as part of the story!

this does not apply to jokes and offhand lines meant to breeze by on the first read and be utterly infuriating on a reread with the added context of what they are actually referring to. those are deliberate attempts to cause harm and suffering to anyone who enjoyed it enough the first time to come back and those people deserve exactly what they get : )

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

i do have a writing playlist that is mostly instrumentals but these days i tend to put on tv shows or movies that i have already seen before that can blend into the background. horror movies and star trek are the faves but one time i did have a marathon session whose length i did not grasp until i realised i had watched twelve angry men three times back to back

💖 What made you start writing?

i have just always been a prolific reader and i think there are only so many books you can read before the brain starts trying to make its own. the earliest story i can remember making is a lion king fanfic i recorded onto a cassette, which i probably remember largely bc my dad found it and played it to friends and family members to laugh at me over, which probably goes some way to explaining my Anxieties about my work also

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

i think i spend an amount of time rambling about the construction of the Self that, were i not already confirmed trans and autistic, would raise some pointed questions. while i was watching my white noise trek the other day i thought "maybe i should write more trek fic" and without missing a beat my brain instantly jumped to "do you think vulcans mind melding experience an internalisation of their own projection of themselves viewed through the other and if so could you ever recover from that with a sense your own ego intact?" and some less embarrassing person might have instead jumped to idk, something less patently insufferable

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

sometimes i write a line that is just straight up so sick i don't know how i did it but it's happened too often to be random accident at this point so maybe i'm just kinda good at this a bit?

[xoruffitup]

Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

[khaleesiofalicante]

I'm sorry I just feel awful and I feel like I really need a professional's info and since you studied psychology (I think)... I'm sorry for bothering.

So long story short: my mother spent a good chunk of my teenage years shouting at me because I wasn't affectionate (true, but I had heard her say very bad things about my father and paternal great grandmother, who raised me more than she did), sometimes she shouted at me in public spaces, there are times I have felt she would kill me even if she wasn't physically abusive to me, I'm pretty sure she's stolen a family heirloom I received from my grandmother before she passed away, she's told me in no uncertain terms that she will always have ownership of me, etc. Around a month or so ago, I confronted her about it --not because I wanted to-- and she denied having caused me all that trauma. She thinks I made it all up and that I should go to therapy to take those self-made lies out of my head and be more affectionate with her.

I am going to therapy, but at my father's behest. He believed me because my mother is the type of person to think everyone but her is in the wrong, but he still thinks I need to have a relationship with my mother by sole virtue of her being my mother. Although thankfully I'm living with him and not her (they're divorced).

And therapy's being, not the best. It makes me feel sick ngl. The sole purpose of it is mending my relationship with my mother, and idk. My mother still thinks she's done nothing wrong to me and it's kinda triggering (idk if this is the right term --I begin feeling slightly sick, I want to cry, my heart begins feeling really fast). I don't really connect with my therapist, since she has implied I have been influenced by my father, and I feel like she's trying to push me into having a joint session with my mother and doesn't really seem to care that my mum's lying makes me feel like shit.

Idk I just want my mother to leave me alone. I don't want to be part of her 'bettering process'. For once, I doubt she'll improve and I don't want to risk my what little mental stability I have.

However, I've heard that for therapy to do something good to you, you need to feel horrible first. Is this true and does it apply to me? Should I want to continue going to therapy?

I should probably start with the fact that, yes I do have a degree in psychology, but that is not sufficient for me to give advice to anyone, let anyone you.

But in my work life, giving advice and doing consultations with victims of violence and abuse is part of my job description, so it's something I'm good at because of my experience.

So, whatever I share with you - please assess, reflect and choose.

The first thing to understand here is that I cannot tell you if you should go to therapy or not. I know it would be easier if someone made that decision for you. But it's important that ANY decision about your healing and recovery (whether to GO to therapy or to DROP it) is YOUR choice.

That's the first thing. That's the most important thing too.

People make therapy feel like something you need to do when you feel fucked up. That's completely untrue. Therapy is not for those who have suffered or those who have mental illnesses. Therapy is for anyone and everyone who needs support.

It's not like going to a doctor so you can no longer be sick. It's like going to the park or watching a movie or reading a book, something you do to make yourself feel better.

It seems to me that a lot of pain is coming from your relationship with your mother. While you can absolutely choose to continue therapy or not, i think it's important that you work on your mother with some of these issues.

But this means she has to work with you. Sending YOU to therapy is not going to fix the issues the two of you have. Because that means the issues are caused only by you. That's never true. Figure out what you want to do to make your relationship with your mother better (if it's 'leaving you alone' - then figure out what you mean by that).

While therapy can feel horrible and awful at times (because you are making yourself vulnerable and you are healing) it is NOT supposed to feel like punishment.

It's not like medicine.

It's not 'it gets worse before it gets better'.

So, if it is making you feel bad and sick, then you should think about whether you want to continue or not. But make this decision by yourself.

Don't go to or give up on therapy based on anyone's opinion but yours.

Some things you can consider:

instead of giving up entirely, you can ask your therapist to maybe focus on an issue/area of YOUR choice. Maybe even ask her to try an alternate strategy (there are so many types!). Make sure she knows what she is doing doesn't work for you and in fact makes you feel bad. It's important that your therapist knows this!

If it's not working out with her (and that happens sometimes - don't worry) do try it out with someone else. If you need to take a break before trying therapy again, that's alright too.

Sometimes therapy can be a lot for some people. In this case, you can try different things like support groups, self-meditation, and physical exercise. There are also courses on things like managing anxiety, ptsd, etc. Find out a method that works for you.

I hope this is helpful to you.

I'm sorry I can't tell you if you should continue therapy or not. But I do think you need to continue trying to fight for yourself. I think you should focus on making yourself better. But you need to decide what that means and whether therapy comes into it. There is no wrong way to do it :)

Sending a lot of love!