#today it was the face of some guy from high school who was mentally ill with me

[apopticghoul]

why do i keep having vivid dreams about boyfriend that doesn’t exist

[causenessus]

good morning, evening or afternoon my loveliness!! how’s your day been? have you eaten? MAKE SURE U EAT !! today i just had pasta in the morning like i literally JUST got off work and i was like okay okay time to reply to my dearest ness(ill probably have pasta again)(like ill be eating in between writing this LOL) but OH MY GOD MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I SAW HOW LONG MY LAST ASK WAS LIKE IM LITERALLY I YAPPED SO MUCH IM SO SO SORRY LOL i was like i genuinely went😧(AND THATS EVEN IN THE SMALL FONT!!)(deepest apologies to anyone who had to scroll pass that)

OFC I NOTICE THINGS ABOUT U !! i think it’s like a like my mind mentally notes the things you say and i kind of catch onto your mannerisms?(IS THAT WEIRD??)(like in a GOOD WAY ofc) and i just kind of recognize the way you write !! like i feel like if the roles were reversed i would 100% be able to tell who you are by the way you write(IN A GOOD WAY ALWAYS IN A GOOD WAY)(all love for my one and only always always) also yeah! i don’t live in the states but i think our timezones are the same or like one hour apart so I TOTALLY GET IT the assumption is valid! DONT APOLOGIZE AT ALL i would’ve done the exact same thing or honestly if someone said “i have the same time zone as you” i would probably be like omg stop they’re my neighbour LMAOO

THE RESTAURANT CHAOS SEEMS SO REAL like i’ve never worked in a restaurant so i can’t really imagine the environment but hearing the experience from you and my friend who works at olive garden i’m like… maybe i SHOULDNT complain about my retail job LOL LIKE IT SEEMS SO CHAOTIC? but that’s so true!!(sorry you probably have no idea what i’m talking about) LIKE I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN MAKING SURE THE CUSTOMER IS OKAY like ill be running around the store holding like pounds of clothing and ill have a customer come up to me like “erm do you have this in the back?” LIKE MA’AM RESPECTFULLY NO IM SORRY CAN YOU TALK TO ME WHEN IM NOT BUSY but i CANT say that so i just end up saying “im sorry whatever we have out here is all we have :)” then i scurry away like IM JUST A GIRL?? also also idk if this is a common thing too but lets talk about some of the WEIRDOS at work right so i know im 18 now but when i was a minor i had some weird interactions with MEN(let me just give you a little description of mango anon right so im like 5’1 and i have a baby face like “going into places saying i’m 13 for it to be cheaper” type of baby face)(but this is when i was like 16 i don’t think that trick will work anymore LOL) but tell me why i had GROWN MEN come up to me USING MY NAME(curse name tags) be weird? like i had this one guy literally tell ME(I WAS 16 OR 17 DURING THIS) “you’d make a good housewife!” when i was folding his clothes and at first i was like yo okay that’s a bit weird but then he was like “how old do you have to be to work here?” THEN i was like okay okay that’s personal information! so i was just like “oh haha idk” like awkwardly and he’s like “so do you have to be over 18 to work here” and i was like SIR okay your total is $18.67 how would you like to pay today! anyways it was weird, my other coworkers also had a lot of weird interactions so like one of my coworkers who was older than me just told me to not wear my name tag like our managers won’t make a huge deal out of it and whatever so yeah that was that, lesson of the day! don’t be a weirdo!

also i swear run and props is like favourite for tech theatre WHICH I GET like when i was in high school a lot of people liked being in run and prop because idk they like the big role or something?? i think also costumes and makeup was also pretty popular but like i remember one time the director flipped a switch on us because like the makeup crew was actually people from our cosmetology class and they would like fool around A LOT like they did the makeup but they would be like yapping a lot so one day my director was like IF UR NOT GONNA DO UR JOB THEN WE’LL HAVE SOMEONE ELSE DO IT !! and then everyone was like oohh okayyy(we got yelled at A LOT tbh for little silly things)(tech theatre ptsd ill tell u) and omg the kid who wanted your light job like CALM DOWN(i am now too spiteful against them)(i will hire the etsy witch to curse them for you) like i swear i’ve met some of the worse people in tech and its CRAZY like the ratio of normal people to absolute arrogant weirdos is CRAZY(ill be generous and say 1:3)and literally yeah like i didn’t want to continue with tech because of the toxic environment like i literally CAN NOT, i know people in uni would be a little more mature and like take tech more seriously but i STILL CANT LIKE there will always be that one person that will ruin it for everyone so i had to blow out the torch and unfortunately say goodbye to theatre </3 UNLESS ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE I HEAR YOU DROP THAT YOURE GONNA BE WORKING AT A THEATRE i’ll literally buy my plane tickets and sign up to be sounds and go be with you like YOU WILL MAKE IT BEARABLE and we’ll literally be the ultimate lights and sound duo like no one can compete idc if the other person has more years of experience than me I WILL STILL SQUEEZE MYSELF IN !! ALSO OMG IN MY THEATRE DAYS (in my good old days) literally most of the people who did take it serious were WOMEN like we are tech mothers!! we are women in STEM!! the majority of people who got on my nerves were men(i apologize to any men reading this)(but unfortunately it is the truth for me </3) ALSO PLS ITS SO FUNNY HOW YOU HAVE AN ICK FOR EVERY GUY YOU USED TO LIKE (i 100% get it) i love hearing about it too LOL ALSO THAT DYNAMIC OF STAGE MANAGER READER AND LIGHTS HEAD SUNA?? i can literally imagine suna being so silly and teasing while the reader has to take it seriously since yk.. it’s her job LIKE ITS LITERALLY LIKE MANAGER READER X SUNA BUT THEATRE-IZED (if that makes sense) also PLS DONT WORRY!! u have so much stuff lined up like take your time and don’t worry! at the end of the day everyone should be thankful that you’re even here sharing your amazing talents with everyone <33

also oh. my. god. if i heard someone say “ITS UP TO ME TO SAVE THE SHOW” i think i would die on spot like id stare at them in genuine disbelief and be like.. alright… alright everyone pack it up our HERO is here to save us like ?? omg and i literally had the same experience right so we were doing the shirley holmes play right and our lead just would not SPEAK UP LIKE ill admit. their acting was pretty good and stage presence was good but WHY CANT YOU SPEAK UP??? like literally so many times i had to like try to read her lips because i literally could not like it was so frustrating, and i couldn’t even be mad at her because she was good EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT SHE COULDNT PROJECT and yk why yk why she was like “im saving my voice for show night” like… excuse me… EXCUSE ME?? (anyways i have a lot of old rage from tech)(this is why i quit!!!)

ONLINE GROUPS ARE SO FUNNY LIKE I SWEAR ITS THE SAME LINEUP LIKE the oldest which formed the group, we have the middle area then the random minors who are like 10 years younger than everyone LOL but socks if you read this im so sorry </333 idk if i liked you back i was like 15 at the time but i promise you i wasn’t ghosting you </333 i was just trying to see what you said I DIDN’T MEAN IT !! ALSO DONT WORRY ABT UR TANGENTS BCUZ ME TOO i literally ramble and yap so much sometimes im ASTONISHED LMAOO

ALSO IM GONNA GO BACK MEMORY LANE FOR A SECOND BCUZ THAT ANON THAT ASKED YOU ABT THE ORIGINAL LOVENOTES STORY AWAKENED SOMETHING IN ME so i remember the first ever ask i sent in was when you were first making love notes like the intros were out already and everything and you were talking about how like having suga in the storyline was kinda messing you up a little bit and you were saying how you were second guessing yourself on it so i sent in a little anon ask(I CANT REMEMBER PROPERLY BUT) saying basically “hey !! you can still change the storyline because it is ur story !! just write what you’re comfortable with” SOMETHING LIKE THAT and u were literally so sweet and then that’s when you changed it and i was like omg ness is literally so sweet what then a few days later i sent in just a small like “hi ness how are you ! did you eat yet?” (i think those were my exact words i actually don’t remember) AND YOU WERE LITERALLY SO SWEET?? LIKE I ALMOST CRIED BCUZ LIKE you were like “tell me what you ate and how you are!” and i thought it was literally the sweetest thing ever so i made it my life obligation and role to make sure you were always taking care of yourself from now on like even if im busy i will always send a little “make sure to eat!! take care of urself!!” (i’ll literally be ur guardian angel from now on) i also think you put it in ur favourites and i literally MY HEART MELTED I WAS LIKE HHHHHH BUT YEAH anyways that’s the origins of mango anon LOL but anyways omg i yapped so much this took an hour to write (IM NOT COMPLAINING I JUST THINK ITS FUNNY)(but to be fair i ate between writing these) it’s so funny bcuz an hour passes by but i don’t feel like it’s an hour like i swear i black out and i just type type type and im like omg im done!!

ANYWAYS i hope you’ve had a good day today and that you’ve eaten well!! U DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST make sure to take care of urself I APPRECIATE AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH SO MAKE SURE YOU TAKE CARE OF URSELF!! always and always <333 xoxoxo

MY LOVELY MANGO ANON I MISSED U SM <3 HELLO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON HELLO CAN U TELL I MISSED U (like it wasn't my own fault i haven't been able to open my inbox until just not BUT NONETHELESS I MISSED YOU </33 LIKE I WAS WORKING AND I WAS LIKE "i haven't seen anything from mango anon yet </3" BUT THAT'S NO PRESSURE ON YOU!! IK YOU WERE BUSY AND ALSO HAD THAT 9-5:30 SO I TOTALLY GET IT OKAY NOW I'M GOING TO GO BACK AND READ YOUR ASK!!!)

I HOPE YOU ATE AS WELL!! dw i've once again been eating my depression meal staple BUT TODAY my toast had almond butter on it bc i'm just really obsessed with almond butter <3 SO I THINK I ATE GOOD TODAY!! AND I HOPE YOUR PASTA WAS GOOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON AAA I MISSED U 😭 AND IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A DAY OR ANYTHING SINCE WE TALKED BUT I JUST MISSED U PLEASE DON'T WORRY ABOUT LONG ASKS AT ALL!!! PEOPLE CAN DEAL WITH IT AND SCROLL PAST YOU ARE MY ONLY PRIORITY <3

and i totally get what you mean!! i catch onto a lot of people's mannerisms/habits as well and always remember like super small details they'll tell me about but i feel like i've never met anyone else who does that 😭 YOU AND ME BEING TWIN FLAMES AGAIN MANGO ANON I'M IN LOVE WITH U <3

AND PLEASE AS SOMEONE WHOSE WORKING IN THE RETAIL AND FOOD INDUSTRIES RN </3 THEY BOTH HAVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS like yes men are weird 😔 i can't tell if i appreciate the fact that like 50% of the sushi chefs i work with have/have had a crush on me and the way they all stare 😭 or find it uncomfortable BC LIKE on one hand they are very nice!! and it hypes me up!! like most of them are just "aw you look like ur mother <3" since i work at that job with my mom (unfortunately) but then the one's who like me are like "do u want me to cut watermelon for u 👴" LIKE NO BRO GET AWAY 😭😭 AND LIKE FRFR THE TERRIFYING INTERACTIONS I HAVE WITH OLD MEN ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS A MINOR???? THAT WAS NOT GOOD AND THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED READING YOU TALK ABOUT THE MAN THAT SAID YOU'D MAKE A GOOD HOUSEWIFE LIKE??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? LITERALLY WHO SAYS THAT TO ANYONE AND EVEN MORE TO LIKE SOMEONE YOUNG WORKING A RETAIL JOB AND LIKE 50K MORE REASONS WHAT IN THE WORLD 🤮🤮🤮 it is literally horrible that like you have to not wear a nametag just to prevent those interactions 😭 but at the same time nametags suck!! and i never wear mine bc i just don't care LMAO

TECH THEATRE PTSD </33 IMO I ALWAYS THOUGHT RUN/PROPS WAS SUPER POPULAR JUST BC IT SEEMED LIKE THE EASIEST THING TO START IN IF THAT MAKES SENSE?? LIKE LIGHTS/SOUND ALWAYS SOUNDS INTIMIDATING AND FOR MY SCHOOL (going to stop talking in caps bc idk why i'm screaming all the time like for what?? calm down ness it's ok) we had like a SINGLE person on makeup (and so our tech director would do specials) and like just a few people for costumes. sound was usually like two people, lights was a bit bigger (unfortunately)(i HATE working with people)(except if i worked with u <3 i would be jumping for joy and my life would be sunshine and rainbows <3), but run and props was always the biggest. like i started there bc it seemed the least scary!! so i think that's a lot of other people's thought process too 😭 WE ALSO GOT YELLED AT A LOT FOR STUPID THINGS or i mean idk if it was stupid we kind of deserved it bc like theatre kids yap SO much but like my director during tech week would always be like "we must preach patience and kindness guys!! everyone is stressed during this week so please be patient with each other ❤" and then HE'D be the one to blow up like my freshman year when i got thrown into ASMing for our spring play backstage like someone on my side was talking and my director like LOST IT and came into the wing from behind me and started yelling at us and literally gave me a panic attack 😭😭 like i had to leave bc i could NOT breathe and luckily someone found me bc i was fully about to pass out LMAOAOAO AND THEN my junior year is when i started lights and so u probably get this but like yk lights and sound is always in a booth (which i think are always behind all the seats, right? or at least that's how it's been for every theatre i've gone to) and so our director lost it again bc someone was talking i think but since i'm in the booth we watch this middle aged bald man get up and go behind stage and we're all like "oh no."

like that rehearsal full on stopped everyone started hiding LMAO OUR PEOPLE WITH HEADSETS BACKSTAGE PUT DOWN THEIR MICS SO WE COULD HEAR WHO HE WAS YELLING AT but everyone in the booth went on lockdown like our spot op ran up to hide in the booth and then we locked the door and i hid on a speaker bc i was NOT getting yelled at again but then we resumed rehearsal and our director never came up so my stage manager next to me and me were like "oh thank goodness he didn't come yell at us" AND THEN HE POPPOED UP RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR BOOTH WINDOW AND I SCREAMED 😭😭😭 AND HE CAME IN AND THEN JUST WENT

"okay how's it going? what do you need from me?" i need you to LEAVE SIR MY SOUL JUST LEFT MY BODY

ANYWAY THE 1:3 RATIO IS SO GENEROUS LMAOOO there is so much toxicity there 😭😭 so i totally get it. when the theatre world comes crashing down u and i will make our comeback mango anon!! we'll go in as a fire lights and sound duo together and beat all the professionals despite only having high school experience LMAO

I ALSO HAVE A LOT OF OLD RAGE FROM TECH THAT'S WHY I'M STILL MAD AT THE KID WHO TRIED TO STEAL MY JOB 😭 i will never get over the "it's up to me" quote like literally i remember that and the RAGE THAT FILLS MY VEINS OMG anyway 🌸 "i'm saving my voice for show night" HELLO??? I BET SHE DIDN'T EVEN SPEAK UP DURING THE ACTUAL PERFORMANCES OR NOT THAT MUCH LOUDER AND LITERALLY LIKE IF UR VOICE IS THAT SENSITIVE GET OUT OR FIX IT OR SOMETHING IDK BUT LIKE U CANNOT DO THAT (i am with u completely on the still having old pent up rage as u can see)

ONLINE GROUPS ARE DEF FUNNY AND THE RANDOM MINORS BEING 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN EVERYONE ELSE IS SO REAL 😭😭 pov 2020 when i was on a shifting discord server.....and there were people of all ages....what a time that was....i don't want to think about it anymore....

AND AAAA MEMORY LANE <333 I REMEMBER EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE ASKS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE SWEETEST!!! like i could not tell you how much it meant to me to have someone checking in to make sure i ate bc that's just something super like ??????? sweet to me <3 like i felt so loved reading your asks AND I STILL DO!!!! TIME FLIES WHEN UR HAVING FUN!! (barf. never saying that agian. way too cliche. BUT YKWIM) I LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE LONG YAP SESSIONS!! THEY ARE MY FAVORITE THING EVER <3 I'M SO GLAD YOU DECIDED TO START SENDING IN MORE ASKS BC YOU HAVE LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE AND MADE ME SO HAPPY MANGO ANON I'M SO THANKFUL FOR YOU AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IF YOU COULDN'T TELL <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 (that's a lot of threes but i just spam threes as a way to get out pent up love/energy. it's like my way of stimming through the screen LMAO)

I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY!!! TODAY HAS BEEN AMAZING NOW THAT I'VE HEARD FROM YOU MANGO ANON MY LOVE MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER MY SOULMATE LOVE OF MY LIFE <33333333 you deserve the entire universe and more!!! you deserve a sky full of shooting stars and thousands of wishes and for all of them to come true <3 i love you sm mango anon!! please make sure to take care of yourself too or i'll simply have to book a ticket and fly to you and take care of you bc i'll gladly be ur housewife <3 🥰 IT WAS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM U!! AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY TOMORROW AS WELL <3333

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

The Idol 1x01: Quotes

“- But what is the image saying? (Xander) - That she’s young, beautiful, and damaged. (Nikki) - Sh... - Eh, not damaged. She had problems that she overcame beautifully. (Nikki) - O-Okay. Uh, the robe, the hospital wristband. (Xander) - Mm-hmm.  - I mean, are we romanticizing mental illness? (Xander) - Absolutely. (Nikki) - And you’re fine with that? That’s cool? (Xander) - You people are so out of touch. (Nikki) - You people? (Xander) - You college-educated internet people. (Nikki) - Okay, yeah. You’re criticizing me for going to college. (Xander) - Oh, will you let people enjoy sex, drugs, and hot girls, okay? Stop trying to cock-block America. (Nikki) - No, Nikki, I’m not some sort of prude. I just don’t think that with everything that she has been through, she should be wearing a hospital wristband. (Xander) - Mental illness is sex. (Nikki) - No, it’s not. (Xander) - Yeah. If you live in Sioux City, Iowa, you are never gonna meet a girl like Jocelyn. She’s not walking down the street, she didn’t got to your high school, she doesn’t work at the bar or the diner, and she did not marry your best friend. And if, on the off chance, she did, she is still never, ever gonna fuck you. Unless, she has some very, very serious mental problems. And that right there is why mental illness is sexy.” (Nikki)

“- According to the nudity rider, we only can show the side boob, the under boob, and the side flank. (the intimacy coordinator) - I didn’t ask. She did it. (the photograph) - Okay, so I’m not allowed to show my body? (Jocelyn) - Not in the general, like, human rights structure of it all. (the intimacy coordinator) - You realize how fucking annoying and insane that sounds? (Xander) - It’s actually very progressive. It’s to make sure she doesn’t feel pressured. (the intimacy coordinator) - Right. I don’t feel pressured. (Jocelyn) - Fully respect that. (the intimacy coordinator) - This is her album cover. (Xander) - It’s also my boob and my house. (Jocelyn) - Fully respect body autonomy.” (the intimacy coordinator)

- “Hey! You! Come here! You want $ 5′000? You keep this door shut for the next three hours. Hold it. You gotta hold it really hard. (Chaim) - Who’s in here? (a guy) - All right? None of your business. Just take it or leave it, yes? Yeah? Okay, good. (Chaim) - Yeah, yeah.” (a guy)

“- No one’s having a pschotic... Let’s all calm down. (Benjamin) - Yeah, please.(Chaim) - Deep breath. Kay. I’m gonna give some information. I need it to be received peacefully, calmly. Okay? We’re the number one trending topic on Twitter. (Benjamin) - Okay. All right. (Nikki) - It’s not... (Benjamin) - No. I find out who did this. May God have mercy on their fucked up, depraved soul. Okay?” (Chaim)

“- It’s gotta say, it’s gotta say “revenge porn”. It’s gotta say “revenge porn” or they’re not gonna take it down (on the phone). - Andrew Finkelstein (at the gate). - Do you have ID? (security guard) - No, I’m from Live Nation. I’ve been here many, many times. (Andrew) - That’s great. Do you have ID? (security guard) - No, I don’t fucking have ID! (Andrew) - There’s a lotta people here today. We can’t let anyone in without an ID. (security guard) - Jesus fucking... Okay, let me deal with this fuckin’jabroni. Hang on. I’m gonna Google myself. Here, watch this. Ready? “Andrew Finkelstein, Live Nation”. What? Whoa! Who’s that? Huh? See that punim? See this face? See that face? Wow, they’re similar. (Andrew) - Okay, okay, sir, calm down. You don’t have to be so rude about it. I’ll get this figured out, okay? (security guard) - Yeah, I don’t have to be so rude. You know, my fucking star client has face full of cum. I’m not rude. (Andrew) - Mr. Finkelstein. So sorry for the inconvenience. (security guard) - Now you’re sorry. Thank you. (Andrew) - Right this way. (security guard) - You’re mensch. Wonderful fucking service.” (Andrew)

“- Lock him in a closet, too? (Destiny) - Remind me to let that guy out at some point, but not yet. (Chaim)

“- You know, you worry too much. Just relax. (Chaim) - I worry too much. My shareholders think I worry too little. You know, every time I fuckin’ breathe in and out, I hemorrhage money for Christ’s sake.” (Andrew)

“- Oh, there’s no shame in being a slut, case in point. I’m just worried she’s having another psychotic break. (Andrew) - No, no, she never had a psychotic break. Never had one. She was just exhausted and she was tired. (Destiny) - She’s a trouper. She reminds me of myself at that age. Okay, the thought of you younger is terrifying to me. (Benjamin) - I was having fun. I was getting fucked in the ass of the Capital Records building stairwell and then walking straight into meetings. (Nikki) - Yeah, I remember. I was the one fucking you. (Andrew) - Jesus Christ! (Benjamin) - Learn form the best. (Andrew) - Can I just remind everybody that we have “Vanity Fair” with us today? So, if we could just... keep the shit-talk to a... (Benjamin) - Oh, my God! Having her around is like living in communist China. (Nikki) - Benjamin, did you get the revised statement from Holly? (Andrew) - Revenge porn? (Benjamin) - Yeah, exactly that. Make sure that every dipshit with a keyboard has it spoon-fed down their fuckin’throat. (Andrew) - But it’s true? (Benjamin) - Well, if we say it it. (Andrew) - I’m in a “Twilight Zone” episode. (Benjamin) - All right, people. (Andrew) - Okay, see you later. (Nikki) - We live to fight another day.” (Andrew)

“- Tomorrow, I wanna wake up to, uh, like, 150 Google Alerts telling me Jocelyn’s some kind of feminist hero, right? (Nikki). - Okay. Yeah, me too. (Benjamin) - You can do that. (Nikki) - But I’m gonna start with victim and move up from there. (Benjamin) - Yeah well, it’s the same difference. (Nikki) - I don’t understand anything. How could it possibly be any fucking worse? Just tell me a scandal that was worse, recently! (Chaim - we don’t want to know). - She’s coming out of it more famous than when she came in. And that’s! That’s the win. Let’s just put it that way.” (Benjamin)

- “Ah, you’re dangerous. I mean, how could anyone not fall in love with you? (Tedros) - I don’t even know you. (Jocelyn) - You fit perfectly in my arms.” (Tedros)

- “What a fuckin’ boner killer. (Tedros) - I know, she prevented us from starting our family. (Jocelyn) - (...) and I hate it, and you’re gonna hate it, too. (Jocelyn) - You hate it? How can you put out something you hate? (Tedros) - Well, you obviously don’t work in the music industry. Pop music is just... superficial. (Jocelyn) - I think Prince would disagree with you. (Tedros) - I love Prince. (Jocelyn) - Are you gonna call “When Doves Cry” fuckin’ superficial? (Tedros) - No, I love that song. (Jocelyn) - If that song came out today, it’d be a smash tomorrow. (Tedros) - So, all I have to do is make music like Prince? (Jocelyn) - I didn’t say that. (Tedros) - Easy. I’ll just do that. (Jocelyn) - No... I didn’t say that. (Tedros) - Why didn’t I think of that? (Jocelyn) - You can’t make music like Prince. Pop music is like the ultimate Trojan Horse. Ya get people to dance, ya get people to sing along. Could say whatever you want. Shit’s powerful. (Tedros) - I like you. (Jocelyn) - I like you, too. You got the best job in the world. Should be having way more fun. (Tedros) - I’m trying.” (Jocelyn) While playing “Pieces of Your Heart” by Meduza & Goodboys)

“- Did it hurt? That photo? The betrayal of it? (Talia from Vanity Fair) - Of course. But, I mean, what am I supposed to do? (Jocelyn) - I don’t know. Fuck up the guy that did it to you. (Talia) - Like in the piece you’re writing? (Jocelyn) - Yeah, actually. I think it would be inspirational for young women and girls all around the world who have been targeted and humiliated in the way you were. (Talia) - Revenge is empowerment? (Jocelyn) - It’s human, I think. (Talia) - Look, I mean. I think... five years ago when people would tell me that it was important to comment on something publicly, I would buy into it. But now I just know that I’m being hustled. (Jocelyn) - Yeah, I mean, obviously, my editor is breathing down my neck, gun to my back, trying to get me to get you to talk about this photo. It’s all anyone can talk about. (Talia) - I get it. We all have to answer to somebody. (Jocelyn) - Who do you answer to? (Talia) - God.” (Jocelyn - Wrong, the public opinion).

“- I don’t know. I haven’t done anything in, like, a year. And I just feel like people are, like, waiting for me to fail. And I just don’t wanna, like prove them right. (Jocelyn) - Yeah, but, Joss, you always do this. You always second-guess yourself right before something comes out. You’re just gonna drive yourself crazy. (Leia) - I just don’t wanna, like, make a fool of myself. I don’t want people to, like, make fun of me. (Jocelyn) - They are not. Trust me. It’s good. It’s, like, really good. (Leia) - (....) What’s wrong with him? (Jocelyn) - He’s so rape-y. (Leia) - Yeah, I kinda like that about him. (Jocelyn) - Joss... No. Gross. So disturbing.” (Leia)

“- Hello, Angel. (Tedros) - You call all the girls Angel? (Jocelyn) - Just you. (Tedros) - Yeah right. (Jocelyn) - Fuck’s up with her? She doesn’t wanna hang out with us? (Tedros) - She’s my assistant. And my best friend. (Jocelyn) - She’s your best friend and your assistant? (Tedros) - Yeah. (Jocelyn) - She’s your best friend that words for you? (Tedros) - Yeah, isn’t that nice? (Tedros) - Really? Hm. (Jocelyn) - Don’t you think that’s kinda, like a nice arrangement? Oh, for her it’s amazing. Fuck. Can I be your best friend? I’d love to get paid. (Tedros) - Can I play you my new song? (Jocelyn) - Are you desperate to put this specific song out? (Tedros) - No, I’m not desperate to put anything out, my team is. ‘Cause everyone in my life is, like, telling me that it’s really great, but I don’t believe them. (Jocelyn) - Why? (Tedros) - ‘Cause when you’re famous, everyone lies to you. (Jocelyn) - And you trust me? (Tedros) - I just think you’re enough of an asshole that you might tell me the truth. (Jocelyn) - Cheers to that. (Tedros) - I don’t know. I feel like it’s, like, too superficial or something. (Jocelyn) - (...) If you’re gonna sing a song called “I’m a Freak” you should at least sing it like you know how to fuck. You gotta stop carin’ what people think. You are too locked up in your head. (Tedros) - Yeah? (Jocelyn) - Yeah, you’re thinking too much. You need to block out the world. Feel it. Do you trust me? (Tedros) - No. (Jocelyn - Good reply!)

[jacenbren]

I’m feeling cryptic today so here’s some vaguely concerning crumbs of Jacen lore that y’all may or may not already know (and that I will be providing no explanation for):

Smoked weed for the first time in my life on my best friend’s couch while watching Twilight and almost choked to death on a gummy worm

Broke my nose playing frisbee on a backpacking trip but didn’t go to the hospital because my dad said it was “fine”

Got chased and nearly trampled by moose on at least 10 separate occasions

Had a mental breakdown while driving my car to Losing Face by Wilbur Soot after being kicked from my high school track team because I was too mentally ill to get a passing grade in 4/6 of my classes

Almost got shot in the foot with a .45 by my little brother

On that note, I have pretty decent experience with both firearms and archery

Ate random mushrooms I found outside and didn’t die

Showed up to my aggressively conservative Christian midwestern family reunion dressed like a gay suburban dad on vacation

Rode my bike down a very steep boulder-covered embankment as a child and somehow came out completely unscathed

Got lost at a car show at like 7 years old and sobbed hysterically behind the wheel of a ‘67 Impala while being comforted by a very large biker guy in all leather who looked like hulk hogan but with a mohawk

Got chased by a bear

Had my car heater break in the middle of a blizzard and drove home shivering and cursing out my father while reaching over the wheel every five minutes to scrape frost off the windshield so I could see

Cut open my lip with my canine teeth

Tried to do a flip on a trampoline and broke my nose (again)

Cosplayed a Hetalia character for Halloween in middle school and got mad when no one knew who I was

Fainted while getting out of the shower and put a dent in the fucking towel bar on the way down

Gave all of the counselors at my summer camp warrior cat names

Almost got hit by a train

Had my deadname misspelled in a German newspaper

Had a bird shit directly on my head at an aviary as a child

Almost got twerked on by a heavily intoxicated middle-aged woman at a Glass Animals concert

Almost got trapped in Canada

Almost got stabbed by an actual crackhead while at a therapy appointment

Hiked two miles hauling three whole, still twitching silver salmon on a line over my shoulder at thirteen years old

Got woken up at 6:30 in the morning by my grandpa blasting heavy metal music throughout the house

Ran my cross-country regionals in two inches of snow while wearing the standard uniform (a singlet and the athletic equivalent of booty shorts) and almost got hypothermia

Tried to romance a male NPC (while playing a male character) in DND while my aggressively heterosexual father was DMing

Accidentally skied off a 15-foot cliff (and once again came out completely unscathed)

Tripped over the curb on the way to my cross-country running practice and almost shattered my kneecap

Edited a friend’s Lord Of The Flies high school AU fanfiction

[tonesplash]

twilight boys encountering a 'pick me'

a/n: just felt like writing something fun w these three today. edwards is the longest because i like him. reqs are open :))

warnings: both edward and emmetts get a lil dark, seth has the only sane response, cursing and fem!reader

edward cullen

he has no choice but to know everyone in a 5-mile radius, so as soon as he lays eyes on them in his head, he's already like 'this fucking guy😒'

genuinely perplexed how they thought this was going to go

Edward is a curious man. Humans are weird creatures. So the first time they approach he is going to at least give them the benefit of the doubt.

As soon as they even spoke ill of you—

*Heavy sigh*

"Come on." And then throws his arm over your shoulders and walks away like a fucking diva, as many times as it takes.

if they are a little harder to get rid of

his first instinct is to protect, if he senses you can't take it or remove you from the situation if you are the type to throw hands lol

doesn't really matter who they are

"Edward, that was my lab partner, you dick."

"Yeah? They were about to tell me all about how you used to eat dirt and then ask out for coffee later. Do you want to turn around?"

if they don't take the hint, then boo hoo, they can face the consequences of messing with the guy willing to die for his s/o

Edward gets mildly psychological. he never touches a hair on their head, but his methods are a little... long-lasting

he won't tell you either, you'll just be curious and ask after your usually persistent annoyance

you asked how they were doing one night over the phone, and they'd shakily confessed to you that lately, just when they start to think they're alone, in tight rooms and smaller spaces, the lights will cut off, doors slamming shut and locking tight for sometimes hours until someone finds them. They ask if they can speak to Edward. He hits the end call button.

they don't answer your texts anymore :/

that, and the hostile stares across the lot, usually gets the job done

but if it's someone you absolutely have to be around, or you explicitly make it clear you want this person in your life for whatever reason,

he can muster the niceties, but that doesn't stop him from pressuring you to get rid of them, even if you think you aren't personally affected, hearing negative things flung around about you is mentally taxing to anyone going on for long enough, and he doesn't think forcing a fake friendship for any reason is healthy

if the reason you give him is something materialistic—say you are using them for their pool

he will pave it in your backyard like those guys on youtube using bamboo and mud if it means you listen to him

if they cross the line again he is absolutely that guy to stop the conversation with "and what do you mean by that?" "What is that supposed to mean."

until they respond, completely killing the vibe 🙄

emmett cullen

you already know what it is

anything this man thinks is coming out of his mouth right away

they try to be subtle, making little digs at you here and there, and smoothing it over with some personal anecdote no one asked for or acknowledges. Give him a second. Emmett is a little slow to catch things like this.

Maybe they take it too far, or if you complain about it at all–

*80+ years of American public school activated*

"The hell did you just say?"

and if they try to apologize, backtrack with some well-meaning bs to get on his good side?

absolutely DISGUSTING, begone thot

"People wouldn't hate you so much if you weren't so weird all the time" 🥴

Emmett isn't out to blow anyone cover or anything, but what are the Volturi going to care about a couple of American highschool write-ups

unrelated, but now I'm imagining one of the Cullens(probably still Emmett) having a prison arc because they keep beating high school children's asses until they are sentenced and then breaking out years later. it becomes a local legend and his mugshot is memed for years

he gets mean, but if they wanted him to stop, they wouldn't shit talk his girlfriend right in front of his face

Emmett is a car guy. I'm sure he identifies strongly w transformers. his first thought is always gonna be the car.

he isn't above dinging doors and bumpers, keying something mildly threatening, perhaps rigging it up to his jeep and hauling it to the far side of the parking lot and ruining their transmission for the entire school to see, if he's feeling wild

If they don't have a car? He at least has the self-control for some mild intimidation.

walking a crowd is always a risk. You never know who is going where at what time, who could step on a lace, stick a leg out, snatch their collar like scruff and yank sharply until they fall on their ass

It's petty, girl.

seth clearwater

He picks up on their dislike of you pretty quickly and is kind of worried for you cause–

Are you not aware? That this one person really seems to dislike you? Why is no one else talking about this?

he wants to be nice to your friends, so he waits for your cue, desperately side-eyeing you for the entire conversation, waiting for you to shut their jealously down

they say something rude about the way girls like you take care of yourself and he is just beyond over it and blurts "Okay—What?!"

really pitchy and confused, and also blinking incredulously because what the hell is their problem

Seth is a pretty persistent guy, and he not going to just let someone slip an awkward insult at you and continue to talk to him like normal

he'll be nice at first when they immediately apologize to you and him profusely and everything is cool again

until five minutes later, when you mention being a little tired and they cut in to ask him how you can even keep up with him, greedily eyeing the smooth brown skin of his arms, exposed by his sleeveless shirt, not subtle at all in their admiration of the lean musculature

"What are yOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT⁉️" he explodes, controlled in his anger but soo frustrated at having to listen to this crap, and then the unwanted advances.

he figured it was part of it with the redirection of every subject back to them, but he can't even think about that because that came completely out of left field and he can't just gloss over it again to keep the pace, mamas 😩 yes he says mamas, his sister is a lesbian i think its funny

completely bitches them out, but it's just an itemized list of every horrible thing this person has shown about themselves in the short time he has been around them — and after he has said his peace, calmly leaves

you follow him,ofc

[maplecornia]

Chapter 3

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 3.06K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: everytime I upload a chapter my tags increase LMAO i hope you guys are enjoying the story so far ^^ BTW when they're speaking and their words are bolded that means they're speaking in English just a heads up ;)

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne

What is he doing here?

And whose clothes do those belong to?

You mouth his name, and in his eyes, you can see the surprise turn to shame.

The sick feeling in your stomach grows bigger.

You pray that you're wrong. That for the first time in your life, your intuition isn't correct. That what you think happened was merely a misunderstanding. That he didn't do what you think he did.

You want to reassure yourself that you didn't give up your heart in vain.

That he still loves you.

But everything points to the signs.

The fact that he only wears boxers, his smooth muscled skin shining in the soft moonlight.

The pile of mixed clothes on the floor.

The look in his eyes and the ruffled mess of his hair.

Everything tells you what you already know.

"What's going on?" you ask, your voice shaking. He doesn't meet your eyes.

The sick feeling grows deeper in your chest.

"What's going on?" you repeat, your voice stronger and more severe.

Even if your heart can't stand strong, at least you can.

He opens his mouth to reply, but instead, you hear a woman's voice from the bedroom.

Your bedroom.

"Babe, who is that?" you can't seem to look away from the door that it materialized from, as he looks between it and you, unsure of what to do. As though he were the one trapped. As though he were the one who was in pain. As though he were the victim here.

Instead of the murderer.

As she comes into view in the doorway, rubbing her eyes and running her hands through her hair, you can't move. You're frozen, and the world completely disappears, a roar of static noise rising in your ears.

No.

No.

NO.

This can't be happening. Not to you. You were so careful. You were so sure. So sure that he felt the same. So sure that he was yours and yours alone. So sure that nothing would be able to break what you shared. That you had finally found the one.

However, as she looks at you, her green eyes spark with realization. Then as they quickly turn to shame, she avoids your gaze as well.

You know.

This is happening.

It's real.

And there's no turning back from it.

You can't feel yourself as you start to cry.

In the shower, the hot water clings to your skin, mixing with the tears. You lean against the tiled wall, squeezing your eyes shut, you cling to yourself. Nails digging into your flesh, you bite your lip, shaking violently.

Mixed images of his face flash through your mind unwillingly.

Hiding alone, the steam surrounding you in a thick veil of deception, you give in to the pain.

You allow the tears to come.

You allow his face to stare into yours once more. You paint the same hazelnut gaze of his eyes. You try to recall the safety you once felt when he held you in his arms. You pull pieces of the same warmth that rose in your cold body flushing your face when he smiled at you, out of the depths of your mind. You look for the tenderness reflecting in his eyes when he whispered that he loved you. You sigh as you remember the way his curly hair had felt on your skin as you ran your hands through it. You picture his perfectly sculpted face, high cheekbones, and long eyelashes. The strong jaw and full lips. The curve of his throat and the touch of his body.

The mirage holds you in its embrace, makes you forget everything, all the pain, all the hurt, the betrayal that tore your soul apart for his pleasure.

However, when it leans in to kiss you, your eyes fly open to reality, and you find yourself hugging your body, the shower still running.

Shaking your head, you proceed to clean yourself, hoping that perhaps the water could wash away the pain.

Some things weren't enough. Some things are not good to dwell over. Some things are better left locked away.

In the end, it wasn't real.

None of it was real.

Done with the shower, you turn the water off, strands of hair falling in your face, and droplets of water dripping off of your body.

Was any part you enough to keep him?

Was this body?

Was it enough to have him wait for you?

Looking down at yourself, you press your fingers against your stomach, pulling at the flesh and skin as though it would change anything.

Were you enough?

Shaking the thought out of your mind, you reach for your towel as you open the shower curtain and step out into the steamy bathroom. Flipping on the fan switch, you dry yourself off, avoiding the reflection in the mirror. You lotion your body down, before pulling on your bra and underwear. Ignoring the drips from your hair, you tug on a loose T-shirt and shorts, and shake out your head, water falling everywhere as though you were a wet dog.

Sighing, you turn to the mirror, where fog from the shower is fading, water droplets trailing down like rain and making pathways. You follow them with your eyes for a moment before, in a sudden urge, you swipe your hand across the screen, destroying their peaceful journey. What's left of your reflection.

Staring into your eyes, you can see just how tired you look. Just how worn down you are. Touching just below your eye, the dark circles under your eyes from restless nights of tears and loss of sleep stand out like a stain on your skin.

What has he done to you?

This isn't you, this isn't who you are.

What has he turned you into?

Sighing, you turn away from the mirror and pull on your robe.

Drying your hair off with your towel, you pull open the door and walk outside, your wet feet slapping on the crisp wood floor as you make your way into the living room.

You look around for any sign of Jae or Miji, but they are nowhere to be seen. Glancing over at the kitchen island, you spot a small piece of paper. Taking it into your fingers, you read the neat block letters of Jaejin's handwriting. His Korean alphabet is so structured, so neat and so straight as though it were the writing of a computer. It reads:

“Hey, I’m sorry we left, but Mijeong prepared a surprise birthday dinner for me tonight, we’ll be back later so help yourself to make dinner or whatever. Remember this is your home now too, I love you!!”

You smile at the thoughtful letter and pocket it in your robe.

You had prepared a gift for Jae today yourself, but you'd reckon you'd just give it to him later.

Turning to the room you take a deep breath before beginning to explore.

The living room is very spacious, which you prefer. The TV is elevated on the left wall from the kitchen, the couch positioned against the right wall across from the screen. In the middle of the room, there is a cute small glass coffee table with forgotten magazines and books laying on top of it. Underneath the TV there are many different bookshelves with movies, books, and magazines shelved on them. All around the apartment, there are potted plants, cute decorations, and some photographs.

Stepping onto the carpet, you dig your feet into it as though it were the warm sand on the beach.

"I would have been fine sleeping on this floor, you know. This is like heaven." You murmur to yourself, closing your eyes in content. You wait there for a moment before the soft plinks of rain begin outside, knocking you out of your stupor.

Opening your eyes, you turn to the balcony's clear screen door and press your hand against it. Gazing outside, you smile at the sight of rain against the lights of the city. Opening the door a crack, you close your eyes, taking a deep breath.

After a moment, you step back inside and shut the screen door, turning to the kitchen. You pull out a pot and fill it with water before setting it on the ceramic stove and heating it. As you wait for it to boil, you pull out your phone and turn the notifications off from vibration. As soon as you do, you click on your Instagram and into the group chat you share with your friends.

Looking through, you can't help but feel a bit conflicted.

Biting your lip, your finger hovers over the message box before you quickly pull away and place your phone on the counter. Letting out a shaky breath, you swallow the lump rising dangerously in your throat before looking away.

You're sensitive today.

You knew it was going to be like this.

When you moved in the middle of high school back home, it was the same. Their lives carried on without you. They still had fun, they still had other things to do, they still had a life outside of you. Outside of you being there.

Things were different.

They were still your friends, they'll always be your friends, but they weren't the same.

Will they ever be the same?

When you hear the crackling of the boiling water, your head snaps up and you pocket the phone once more. You pull the pot off the stove and grab a mug out of one of the many cabinets in Jae's kitchen. As you set it beside the cooling water on the counter, you search his pantry for a cocoa mix. Normally you would have tea, but right after the sight of the rain, you're in the mood for something to warm you from the inside out.

Something to remind you of home.

On cold, rainy days after you and your friends would practice at the dance studio, or finish having a meal together or anything simple like that; you would hurry home and with your group, you would make them cocoa. You would start a fire and would sit with each other spending the time together, happy and complete.

The nostalgia and sadness growing too much, you are relieved when you find the hot cocoa packets. You let out a little shout of happiness and accomplishment before walking out of the pantry and dumping the contents into the cup. Setting the packet aside, you take the pot of water and carefully pour it into the cup as well. While the powder and water slowly swirl together, you rummage for a spoon before mixing it. Once you're satisfied, you sip it carefully and...

...almost burn your tongue off.

Coughing violently, you set it down and focus on putting away everything you brought out, giving it time to cool off. Once everything is done and put away, you pick up your mug, holding it to your face as you softly blow on it. Even now the smell and the warmth of it is getting rid of the chill you feel whenever you're alone.

Settling yourself amongst the blankets and pillows on the couch, you take the TV remote off of the coffee table and turn on the TV. Netflix pops up and you search for a K- drama you were watching before you left. When you find it, you press play, leaving off captions so that you can practice your Korean a bit more.

As the intro starts, you hum along to it, setting up a sort of bed so you can watch comfortably. Once it's done, you lay down, your head sinking into a pillow comfortably, and a soft gray blanket pulled over your body. You're in a position so that you can still lounge but won't spill your cocoa.

As the show begins, you mouth the words along with them. When you can't catch what they say, you're quick to rewind it and try it again until you understand. You laugh with the show, cry with it, finding yourself on an emotional roller coaster.

You've always been like this, too emotional, too easily attached, too naive. Always careful to keep yourself at a reasonable distance from anyone who could hurt you. From anyone who you couldn't handle if they left you. It takes a while for you to open yourself up to someone, and when you do, you're wholly and completely theirs.

It's a lose-lose situation.

A lose-lose way of life.

Before you know it, the cocoa is gone and the episode is almost over. Setting the mug on the coffee table, you settle back into the pillow. As you watch, your eyes grow heavy, and you drift further and further away. The last thing you see before you close them is their touching kiss before they flutter shut and you fall into a restless sleep.

Hours pass as you lie there on the couch, sleeping. The show continues to play until the question "are you still watching?" shows up on the screen as it often does when you've been watching for a while without much activity.

Once the show is off, the apartment goes silent and it seems almost empty. In the far background, there are the sounds of cars honking, the screech of tires on the pavement, even the sound of music from the billboards and clubs.

This is like home, these sounds are familiar. These are the reasons why you sleep so soundly, hugging the pillow as though it were your lifeline.

You do not wake when Mijeong and Jaejin enter the apartment. They are laughing, but as soon as they see you on the couch, fast asleep, they fall quiet, each one of them smiling softly.

They hold unimaginable compassion for you and deep love.

Mijeong immediately sets down her stuff, sliding out of her shoes and walking towards you. Tenderly, she brushes back your hair as though she were your mother taking care of you.

“She’s sound asleep.” She whispers, just as Jaejin joins her side.

“That’s not like her. She’s such a light sleeper, she would have woken up when we came home.” He replies worry reflected in his eyes. Mijeong’s smile, at his statement, fades away and she nods.

“She must be in so much pain that she wants to drown out the world around her,” Mijeong says sadly before standing up and clearing her throat.

“Let's take her to her room.” When Jaejin doesn't move, she gives him an expectant look and he jolts to attention. She hits him softly on his arm and he lets out a slight joking yelp.

"I was going to do it, I just wasn't ready yet." He whines, and she chuckles before leading the way to your room as Jaejin picks you up with strong, sure arms. Cradled in his arms as though you were a baby, he looks down at you with a tender look. He hates that he can't help you.

No one can.

He smiles how sound asleep you are now, cradled in his arms, your head resting against the crook of his neck. Mijeong, watching the encounter, smiles as well. He notices her look and his attention changes immediately from you to her in a second.

“What is it?” he asks, and she shakes her head, opening the door to your newly acclaimed bedroom.

“Nothing.” She says but a sly smile is playing at her lips, as though she’s concealing a secret. Which she is. A secret that, at that moment, she thought he would make a great father. A secret that at that moment, she wanted things with him that were far off in the future, but very real to her now.

As they walk into your room, Mijeong pulls back the covers, and Jaejin sets you down softly on the bed. Once you are out of his arms, and Mijeong pulls the covers up over your body, you settle instinctively into the soft mattress, and immediately curl up into a ball, holding tightly to one of the many pillows on your bed. They smile as they watch over you, and Jaejin presses a soft kiss on your forehead. Mijeong does the same, brushing back strands of hair on your forehead. Turning around, they share a tender look before walking out of the room and cracking the door shut behind them.

“Are you sure that she’ll be okay?” Mijeong asks as soon as the door is shut. Jaejin looks at her a bit surprised.

“Of course. Why, are you having second thoughts?” he asks before heading into the living room, Mijeong not far behind.

"No. I'm not, I just....I wish we could tell her before we do anything. She's going to wake up and we'll be gone." Mijeong explains, following him and settling on the counter. Jaejin pauses from setting the living room in order and turns to her. He takes her hand in his own and kisses her softly on the forehead before pressing his forehead to hers tenderly.

"I love you, and I wish we could have told her before we leave tomorrow, but she will be okay. She'll have the apartment, and my job at Big Hit to take over. Everything will be okay." He reassures her. Mijeong hesitates before nodding her head in agreement. Jaejin smiles, before pulling away and turning off the TV. "Besides, I'll leave her a note just like we did tonight before we take off in the morning. This is just too much of an amazing opportunity for you and for me to waste."

"I know." Mijeong answers, rocking on the counter as she swings her legs back and forth. "Not every model gets a chance to appear at Fashion Week, but Jae....she'll be all alone."

Done with ordering the room, he chuckles as he begins to make his way back to her.

"She is a grown-up you know. It’s only a few months, she can take care of herself." He says, pulling her off the counter and spinning around in the air before setting her down as she giggles and leans on him, a little dizzy.

"Don't worry," he reassures her once more before heading into their room, his voice fading as he closes the door behind him.

"Yen will be okay. She always is."

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: thanks to everyone who read! so why do you think miss Yen moved to Korea?

+

I'm going to be updating my mutuals list (because I never had it to begin with ;-;) on my navigation so if you want to be added, pls ask me ^^ thankssss

chapter 4 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

[sevendeadlymorons]

Hey I’m that one anon from a while back that sent those long ass paragraphs about Lilith and Simeon, remember me? Anyway I know I’m very late to the party, but some of the boys are either getting to much hate or too much love over here (in my opinion) so I made a pros and cons list for all of them, I’m sorry- (I’m warning you now this will be long but I’ll put it in bullet points so it’s a bit easier to read, just read it whenever your mentally ready lol)

Lucifer (I hate this man.)

Pros

He’d help a lot with getting your life together wether that be finding a job, choosing the right college or other shit like that

He’d make sure your working hard and getting everything done, which is both a blessing and a curse tbh

He would be the one to take the most care of you whenever your ill psychically

Cons

He would probably overwork you

Doesnt have much time to spend on you and doesn’t make a effort to find more time unless your getting really sad about it

Probably wouldn’t be the best of help through issues with mental illness (he just doesn’t strike me as that type, feel free to disagree)

His pride would cause some serious problems in relationships :/

Mammon (I love this man.)

Pros

He’s the “if your sad, I’m sad” kind of guy so he does whatever he can to put a smile on your face

Makes his affection towards you known once he’s comfortable enough, mostly through things like hugs and head pats tho

He shows off anything you make, and I mean anything (you gave him a drawing? After showing it to everyone he puts it on the fridge. You wrote something? He reads it to everyone then puts it in his notebook to reread later, I think you get where I’m going with this)

Cons

There would probably be some communication issues due to his tsundere nature and habit of ignoring you when he’s mad

He’d get super mad at you when your trying to help him financially, maybe it’s a ego thing or maybe he’s just tired of hearing it

While his possessiveness is cute at times he’d definitely get way to overbearing if you don’t force him to cool it

Levi (I kin this man.)

Pros

He’d try to set up designated hangout times (like Friday is movie night, Tuesday is for RPGs etc)

Wanna spend time with him but aren’t very into what he’s into? While it will be harder to bond with him because of this I think if you REALLY wanted to hang with him he’d at least try to meet you in the middle (like if you like sports he’ll offer to play wii sports lol)

Insecurities getting you down again? Well never fear, levi is here! He’d find characters with flaws similar to those you see in yourself to prove that they don’t really matter (and since he struggles with insecurity himself he’d know how you feel and be one of the best at helping you through them)

Cons

Even if he makes an effort to meet you in the middle if you have different interests he’d refuse to get into “normie” stuff

He’ll guilt trip you constantly, even if it’s not on purpose (“Oh your hanging out with Asmo today? I get it, of course you’d wanna hang out with somebody cool and perfect like Asmo and not a gross yucky otaku like me”)

You have to initiate almost everything Hugs? You hug first. Handholding? You reach out to him. Confessions? You seriously thought he’d be the one to confess first??

Satan

Pros

Similar to Lucifer he’d be good at helping you get your life together and putting you on the right track

Unlike Lucifer, he’d actively make time for date nights and/or hangouts multiple times a week wether your going out for dinner or reading in front of the fireplace

While he himself might not be best at helping with comfort in the moment, he’d be great to turn to if you needed a long time treatment (you need a therapist? He’s got the best three in your area that you can afford and he found some helpful things you can do in this book)

Cons

As stated previously, he’s not the best with comfort, which can be an issue if you need a friend/partner who can be your biggest source of comfort (I’m not saying he’ll do nothing, it’ll just be kinda awkward ig)

If you vent to him about something he’ll always offer advice and while that can be good, sometimes all you want is someone to listen to you and getting advice can be annoying in the moment

I feel like hanging out with him you’d rarely ever get to talk about pointless things, everything would be serious you know? And while serious and deep conversations are good for bonding, some people (myself included) need to be able to talk about dumb things without having it turn philosophical

Asmo

Pros

He’s the best at boosting your confidence, there’s no competition

He’s more into spontaneous outings (he suddenly got the urge to go shopping, your coming with right?)

You can talk about just about anything with him, no judgment and he’ll never speak a word of it to anyone else if you don’t want him to (although he may brag to his brothers that you told him your secrets)

High emotional IQ

Cons

He has set things of things he’s interested in and his idea of trying the things your into is doing whatever it is for about 5 seconds then deciding it’s not for him

He cares a lot about looks, I don’t mean he’ll hate you or insult you cause he thinks your ugly, I mean he’ll constantly try to do your makeup, hair, and nails and he’ll always say things like “Your hair is a bit messy today, did you brush it? Yes? Well not good enough, let me do it” and “your wearing that out? There’s nothing wrong with it, I just think you’d look a lot cuter in this” and if your anything like me, that’ll get on your nerves a lot

While he’s great with emotional issues, if it’s a problem with anything like school or your job he’ll have no solution to offer, all you’ll get is a “You can do it!” and a good luck kiss

Narcissistic, need I say more?

Beel

Pros

He’s the best person to vent to, no judgment and tons of hugs and comfort food

He’s a mom friend, no explanation needed

Very supportive and always concerned for your health

Your in trouble? Call beel, he’ll help you and make sure your home safe before questioning you and will only lecture you out of love (unlike a certain older brother that will lecture you because “Your tarnishing Diavlo’s reputation by acting out like this. Your an exchange student, you must abide by the rules and behave yourself.”)

Cons

Food is his answer to everything (Sad?Food. Injured? Food. School’s stressful? Food plus a little help studying) and while food can be good for comfort, sometimes you need him to provide more than a snack

He’s the opposite of Satan in the sense that he’ll almost never offer advice when you rant to him, he just assumes getting it all out is help enough and won’t offer much more then a hug and food

Not getting along with one of his brothers? “They can be a handful, but they’re great people once you learn to handle the chaos” yeah he rarely thinks what his brothers did is a big deal so he gives you advice on how to apologize and get past it and he’ll give you food

Belphie (he really does attract the mentally ill people huh-)

Cons

I feel like he’d be good for certain people with social anxiety and people who have issues with always being scared about being a bad person (“you think your a bad person and are becoming more and more toxic by the day? Well your a better person than Lucifer that’s for sure, wether or not your toxic were going to cuddle now get in bed” or “your worried everyone is constantly staring and judging you for everything you do? Well I don’t really care about what your wearing or the way you walk so I doubt they do either, can we go home now?” ((Side note, I experience both of these issues and his uncaring personality would calm me, which is why I think this one of his pros))

He just wouldn’t care about whatever type of life style you lead and as someone who’s constantly scared of being judged for their lifestyle this would be amazing (“you sleep all the time? Same let’s nap together” “You don’t eat very healthy? Whatever, it’s fine, can we sleep now?” ((although it is a double edged sword))

He gets a burst of energy and just does the most random things (you see that tree? He’s already climbed half way up it. That petting zoo? He’s already feeding the lambs. That store? He’s already spent 30 grim)

Cons

Just like his twin he thinks every problem has one solution, but instead of food he thinks the solution is sleep (your sick? Sleep is the best medicine. A lot of homework? If you sleep you don’t have to think about it.)

At some point he just doesn’t care enough, if you come to him with a serious issue he’ll half listen to you rant then pull you down to sleep

He teases you a lot, which is fine teasing is fun, but he takes it too far. Maybe he touched on something your insecure about or he was too merciless, whatever it was, he won’t apologize for it, he just thinks your being sensitive. If he brought up some bad memories he’ll consider it, but his way of apologizing is cuddling

He doesn’t wanna do something? You guys aren’t gonna do it. You don’t wanna do something? Too bad, he wants to so your gonna.

I’m sorry this is so long- I tried to shorten it I swear- but anyway if you disagree I’m with anything, I wanna hear what you think

And even tho Beel doesn’t get much screen time and more serious moments, I think his character is way more then hunger

Random but I wanna add that other then Levi I kin Tamaki from mha and Ranpo from bsd

Dude do you just like torturing poor college students? This is so much to read, I’m about to cry 😭

I agree with the Lucifer part actually! Tho I do kinda thing he’s be good emotion support in some ways, for me, anyway. I feel like he may lack empathy that is needed in a stable relationship. Yes, he may be able to tell you with shit and honestly, he’d book my doctors appointments when I’m too anxious too so yknow. But yeah

Also agree with mammon. He’s a jackass when he wants to be, and I know he may not mean it, but his words are still hurtful in a lot of ways and he just can’t convey those emotions that’re needed in a loving relationship. But he’s so sweet and will show you off so it’s all good~

As much as I love Levi, I agree. He manipulates and guilt trips you throughout the entire game. It can’t be healthy in relationships but that don’t stop me from loving that sweet otaku boy 😔🖤

I agree with Satan too. I don’t have much to say but he’s avatar of wrath for a reason, for a start, and he honestly looks like he’d prefer talking about books than that funny thing that happened in class that made you laugh earlier

Agreed with Asmo too. Sometimes he may just get overbearing and the narcissism and the constant need to make you look better and improve you may get irritating

I agree with Beel. I don’t think he can comprehend that food isn’t an answer to everything and as a person who doesn’t cope with food and relatively hates it, he won’t be any help to me emotionally. He’s so sweet but he just won’t give you that proper support

I love Belphie so so much but I absolutely agree. He’s one of the most unbothered brothers who won’t care what you look like, yes, but that also means compliments may come rarely and like his twin, “sleep is the answer to everything” I can admit I like to sleep but I have a manic side that comes with insomnia and if he’s dragging me down and not letting me move and I just cannot sleep, I’m gonna get irritated and pissed off.

This got a bit long on my end too. I just really liked how you worded this and it was fun to see pros and cons of the ‘perfect’ brothers

I think Beel is more than food too, but I just don’t particularly like him either way cuz I’m not really a foodie so I can’t relate with him lmao

[nikrangdan]

cafeworker!ni-ki

pairing: cafeworker!ni-ki x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: the cashier at the new coffee shop was so adorable you just couldn’t resist visiting just for him

**did not proofread

————

contrary to popular belief, you were NOT a social person

whenever you were around friends and family, you were always the loudest person there

like SHUT UP Y/N!!!!!!

anyways although you were loud, people still enjoyed being around you because you had such a sweet soul and interesting humor

everyone close to you knew that you hated talking to people you didnt know

but to all the strangers? no

they would think you were an outgoing ready-to-meet-new-people extrovert

which was so, so wrong

but ALAS, you had to talk strangers almost everyday living in 2020

(well lets pretend we arent in the middle of a pandemic right now)

moving on......

so you were in high school at the downfall of your existence

you used to have so many friends when you were younger ..now you only have like 3

and those three were always busy (busy making up excuses thats for sure) so you never really hung out with them outside of school

and on one fine evening after school you decided to visit the new cafe 5 minutes from your house

u were really excited because all the cafes were 15 minutes from your house so now u could just walk to this one if u wanted to !!!

but yeah it was in the middle of a small plaza that had cute buildings

you pulled up to the parking lot and was just about to get out the car when u remembered..

u have to talk to the cashier :/

who’s a stranger! even more ://

it was always so weird to you.. whenever you went out you always had someone else order for you because you just hated talking to strangers

you just felt uncomfortable and you couldnt help it

its not like you have never ordered for yourself but you would always prefer not to

and now that you think about it

this is the first time you have gone out by yourself

you did text one of your friends beforehand but they said they “had homework to do”

LIES!!!!

but you really wanted to try the coffee so you just ran with it

time to face your fears!

you opened the glass door to reveal a cute looking cafe, like the ones you’d see in movies

you loved it already

glancing to the cashier you’d have to be talking to—

hold on

you had to do a double take because WOAH.....

the cashier...

he....

wow..

you have never seen a boy like that in your life

you stood there for like 3 seconds before coming to your senses and standing infront of the menu

that was infrONT OF HIM

“hi, what can i get for you?”

HIS VOICE OH MY GOD..!?!?!

“oh um.. can i get a second to .. look..?”

“yeah of course,” he gestured to the menu on the wall above him

hes so nice u almost cried

your eyes shakily traveled up to the chalkboard menu and u began to ‘read’ the options

its like u could feel his eyes on u WTF!!!!

um um um *internally keyboard smashes*

you couldnt even think

the words on the menu were like gibberish

the ONE time u go out by yourself

this had to happen.. of course! someone had it out for you, you were sure of it >:(

picking a random drink you gave him your order

“uh can i have an iced caramel macchiato?”

ITS LIKE YOU CANT SAY A SENTENCE WITHOUT UH OR UM

u cant help but think hes judging you

he looks like that while u are standing there in old sweatpants your dads tshirt

“sure, what size?” he looks into your eyes after putting your order into the machine

god you felt your heart stop

his Eyes..... theyre so beautiful

“oh um regular” you attempted to give a small smile

hopefully it looked like one

“okay that’ll be $5.12.”

you dug out some cash from your bag and handed it to him

he gave u your change and gave u a small smile

“your drink will be out in a minute”

AAAAA

he went :)

he is so CUTE.....?!?!

he looked around your age too

sigh... you knew he was way out of your league though

you were gushing over him but he probably thought you were just another boring customer

while waiting u sat at one of the 2 person tables on your phone

and u IMMEDIATELY went to text your groupchat

‘GUYS’

‘AT THE CAFE NEAR MY HOUSE’

‘CUTEST BOY IVE EVER SEEN EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE’

‘WTF IM GONNA CRY HOW DOES HE EXIST’

‘WAIT BRB HE S COMIBBG’

you tried to quickly put your phone down without looking suspicious when you saw him walking towards you with a drink in his hand

“here you go, enjoy” he said before swiftly making his way back to the counter and talking to the other worker there

wow... hes so mesmerizing

you’d steal glances at him every now and then while taking sips of your drink

you were sitting there for like 20 minutes before you noticed you finished your drink

you totally forgot you came here to see how good their coffee was

it was good by the way

sadly it was your time to leave

taking one last glance at him, you threw away your empty cup and walked out the door

wow

u cant believe you got to witness the most beautiful human being ever

in your small town?? crazy

you were sitting in your car just thinking

WAIT

U DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!

you mentally punched yourself but then you started laughing

what does knowing his name even matter, its not like u were ever going to talk to him anyway

LOL

*sad emoji*

but the coffee was good so you definitely planned to go back

and not just because of the cute boy

...unless....

*time skip*

the next day you went there was a week later at the same time in hopes that he was working the same shift

AND HE WAS!!!!

score! 1 for y/n, 0 for umm... any other person who had a crush on him too i guess

the cafe didnt have too many people since it was fairly new and also in a small part of the city

so when you went in, you were the only one there along with the two workers

“welcome, what would you like to order?”

NOT THIS AGAIN

he looked even cuter today

his messy blond hair almost covered his eyes

you shouldve forced your friend to come with you this time

you ordered the same thing as last time but this time he asked for your name

hmmm

“um y/n” you answered

your heart was always beating 2 times as fast whenever you had to talk to him

he wrote it down on the cup and after you paid, you went to sit down at the same spot as last time

looking at him is literally the highlight of your day

the same thing happened as last time, he came over and gave you your drink without giving u a second glance

>:((((

boooo look at me cute boy

nonetheless u continued going to the cafe at the same time as much as u could which was like three times a week

literally over a month later and u dont think anythings going to happen

u punch yourself for thinking the boy would somehow find interest in you

hes still indifferent to you which isn’t surprising since you’ve never made any kind of move

ever

but

he should know u by now

hopefully..

*time skip again*

it was a saturday

at this point you’ve basically given up on having a crush on him and now since its become a routine u just say you go for the coffee

not really paying attention to your surroundings you dont notice that the boy at the cash register isnt the normal one you see almost everyday

“hey, what would you like to order?”

woah WHAT

you look up from your bag to notice a boy that was definitely not the one that normally stood infront of it at this time

and you also noticed something on this new cashier

a name tag

how come your old little crush didnt have one????

this new boys name was ‘jay’ and he was fairly cute too

looking around the corner at the other worker u noticed he has a name tag too

you recognized him because he was always working when the cute boy was at the cash register

his name was ‘heeseung’

after taking in these new additions you answered to jay

“oh um.. can i ge-,”

“she gets an iced caramel macchiato. her name is y/n”

??!<_|#%[>~€\£~

you whipped your head around so fast to see who said that behind you

was it who you thought it was ??!??!

YES IT WAS!!!!

OH MYGOD

ITS HIM

you widened your eyes at the boy who wasnt wearing his normal black and white uniform

instead he was wearing black ripped jeans and a gray hoodie

wow....... and u thought he couldnt look any better

BUT OMG?? HE REMEMBERS U

“oh wow ni-ki, you know her?” the boy named jay asked him

“uh yeah.. shes a regular” he said before walking to stand next to you

NI-KI

HIS NAME IS NI-KI OHMHGOD

u thought his name fit him perfectly its so CUTE

“are you gonna get something too?”

this whole time you were silent because.. what is going on

your heart was being SO fast you thought that everyone could hear it

“yup, can i get the same thing? also im paying for both of us”

WHAT??/):)/$;##\%|

ur eyes widened even more it looked like they were gonna pop out of its sockets

u unconsciously leaned towards the boy next you and kind of put your hands up

“w-what?? oh um no, you dont have to do that” you nervously said to him as he looked down at you

he kind of had a smile on his face

“i want to.”

there is no way this is happening

“oiiii ni-ki” jay chuckled while punching in numbers on the cash register

“ill have both of your drinks out soon, you two kids have fun!” jay said before turning around to face heeseung

WHAT??!!??!

your jaw almost dropped from shock

millions of thoughts ran through your brain and you couldnt even process anything

u cant believe this was happening

it was like a wattpad story or something.. is this how u meet ur soulmate

your thoughts were interrupted by a hand on your back momentarily and u look to see ni-ki shyly grinning and gesturing u towards a table

no way...

you awkwardly follow him to a 2 person table next to wall and sit down

you literally could not hear anything except for the pounding of your heart

“uh sorry about that...” he rubbed his neck and sheepishly smiled

“im ni-ki by the way”

“y/n...” u felt so awkward u wanted to cry

“agh, im really sorry if that was weird.. i just didnt know how to ask you out.....” he trailed off

*passes out*

IM JOKING

Ok but u felt ur heart stop bc NO WAY

“wait what??” u ask, ur eyes bigger than the moon

“um yeah... haha i took the day off today to try to talk to you.. sorry if that was weird..”

HE WAS SO AWKWARD JUST LIKE YOU IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER

“no its okay!! im glad actually...”

“really? so is it okay if we hang out?” he asked excitedly

u did not think u could handle HOW CUTE THIS BOY WAS O M G...

“of course! sorry if im kind of awkward though” you gave a small smile

“its okay, i think i am too”

you two began talking about the cafe and where you went to school

turns out even though you two lived in the same town (literally 5 minutes away from eachother) u went to different schools for some reason

u talked for like 2 minutes before jay walked up with your drinks

“hows it going guys?”

“its doing good bro, now go away..” ni-ki lightly shoved jay and laughed

you giggled at the sight

jay looked offended and came right back

“that is not how you talk to your elders ni-ki! y/n do you see this?!” he scoffed

ni-ki just rolled his eyes and turned back to you

“do not ignore me young man!” jay joked

“oh y/n, ive heard all about you from ni-ki over here by the way.”

ni-ki’s eyes got so big you almost got worried

he turned around so fast and gave jay one of those ‘i swear if you say anything ur dead meat’ looks

jay obviously did not care

“hes always like ‘y/n this y/n that’ blah blah im glad he finally got the balls to ask you out because im honestly sick of hearing it!” jay laughed

u were blushing so hard

NI-KI LIKED U????

this felt like a dream

ni-ki pushed jay away so hard and turned back with red cheeks

awe

but yeah that was the beginning of the cutest relationship ever

u and ni-ki were so cute together <333

you’d always visit him during ur free time

it took like 2 months before u two made it official tho

and he was the sweetest boyfriend ever

[indecentpause]

First 20 Lines

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line.

Tagged by @ellierenae, thank you!

Going backwards from most recent, in posting order, because other than the first four who knows when I wrote what. Not me! I’m also not going to do short stories because those are a jumbled mess in my files, and nothing is dated and most of them were from before I started writing novels and novellas.

I am literally tagging everyone who is familiar with any of my work, I want to know all about your things too, whether we’ve spoken a million times or never at all. Tag me so I can see! This means you!!!

cw: drugs, suicide mention, death mention, mental illness, food

1) Many years past, in Selan, the Land of Gold and Clockwork, there lived a King and a Queen who, more than anything, wanted a child of their own.  ~The Princess and The Pirate

2) This is getting absolutely ridiculous.

Meara, you’ve been to this stupid community board multiple times this week, and it’s not surprising that you’re tired. ~The Most Beautiful Puzzle

3) Ahren was dead. ~And All the Devils Are Here

4) The curved line of mushrooms should have been Blake's first clue that they'd wandered too far off the path. ~The Fairy Portal

5) Kandi. Kandi, Kandi, Kandi.

You flop back on the bed and rub at your tired eyes with the heels of your hands. ~That Boy, That Girl

6) The door is in splinters, almost broken, the bang of a shoulder or a boot or the butt of a gun against the wood like the smashing of your heart against your ribcage. ~Until Our Hearts Go Numb

7) The sun beats down on the asphalt so hot it could liquefy, but instead just leaves the scrubby plants and too-tall billboards on either side of the car shimmering. ~Since Feeling Is First

8) It's been three years since you've arrived in the United States. Two and a half since you started seeing Dr. Kimball. Six of improperly treated symptoms.

You give up. ~In the Lion’s Teeth

9) The cat is looking at you. ~And Never the Twain Shall Meet

10) "You're high again, aren't you," my roommate says. ~White Rabbit

11) So, Jen, or Atreyu, or whatever name you're going by today. Here you are on the kitchen floor again, face pressed to the cold tile and hair falling every which way. You're in your boxers and the rest of your clothes are in the kitchen sink (because that was important for some reason) and the tile is cold and oh, wait, you said that already, didn't you? ~In the Basement, In the Sky

12) Your name is March Liu, and your life is a bigger mess than the sheet you put down underneath your easel when you paint. ~One More Time (With Feeling)

13) Jordan and his friends neared the end of the anti-war protest they'd joined over an hour ago, and everyone gathered in a huge throng under the hot mid-day Arizona sun to hear the speeches. ~Two Heartbeats on One Page (this was actually my first finished novel after I left school, but it’s been edited to hell and back and wasn’t actually finished until a few years ago)

14) The café is warm, smelling of coffee and chocolate and fresh baked scones and biscuits, a nice respite from the cold, wet streets outside. ~Footprints Through the Rosemary

15) Iffy's parents said college would be different from high school. ~The Succession of Us

16) Jackalope Hills, Arizona, was a tiny hole of a town a few miles south of the middle of nowhere and a couple blocks east of who the hell cares. ~Walking Out of Stride

17) Justin Gibson never thought he'd be the kind of guy to fall in love with someone who once punched him in the face, but here he was, head over heels in with the guy who had accidentally put his fist in his eye a year ago. ~Push Me, Pull Me

18) Danny knew running a business wouldn't be easy, but he didn't realize it would be this hard, either.  ~Cafe Latte

19) Loud, clipped voices shout all around you and the words are so foreign they may as well be in a language you don't understand.  ~Stars In Our Hands

20) Meara was daydreaming again. ~Sunflowers and Ink

Bahaha I have literally written or am in the process of writing a total of 21 longform stories, and I can’t leave my baby Cal out, so I’ll go ahead and give myself a 21, as a treat

21) "Why did you want to kill yourself, Calum?" ~The Art of Losing Touch

WELL I most definitely have a habit of starting either with the setting, or, if I’m starting with a character intro, it’s in media res.

My personal fave is Until Our Hearts Go Numb, because it was my first try at a real tragedy. You know how the story ends. Everything is terrible. But god, did they try.

I also like And All the Devils Are Here simply for the punch of it.

[lord-explosion-baku]

Opia Night 2

Vampire!Shinsou x reader

Warnings: alcohol mentions, mentions of blood, dumb mc, campy vampire bullshit, swearing

A/N: ahhhhh. okay. so. this was a tough write. I think I got stuck because i started taking myself too seriously and then i just started throwing words out left and right. this is very back and forth, no-goal-reached, bullshit. I mean, getting from point A to point B is r o u g h, bro. Im SO SORRY. I was trying to make this natural and it just AINT. she’s messy today and it’s fine. Gotta just post what we can when we can lmfao. SOO! I’m aware that this chapter isn’t good, but I do hope that you find it entertaining regardless! I promise Night 3 will be better!

(PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION)

Night One

Night Two

You woke up to your phone buzzing next to your head on your pillow. Once, twice, and the third double-vibration made you realize that you were not going to be going back to sleep any time soon. Blinking at your window, you groaned at the flecks of dust that were lit up by the golden remnants of twilight. You’d slept most of your Friday away after slaving away on your school work Monday through Thursday. You tried telling yourself that you deserved the rest, but sleeping through sunlight has become habitual to you when you had nothing else going on. When you woke up from your coma, you would usually sleep some more. Usually.

The phone on your bed was alight with three unread messages, all saying something different, but with the same invitation handed out:

Kirishima(7:02): hey :)

Sero(7:07): you busy?

Kaminari(7:15): babe! partaaay tonite!!!! come over!

Again, you groaned.

The last night you’d spent over at their house was a complete disaster. You totally embarrassed yourself by screaming out of nowhere. Or so it seemed to have come out of nowhere to everyone else who heard you; what you thought you had witnessed went completely unnoticed to everyone at the last party. But to you, it was so vivid.

Purple-haired-couch-kid. Fangs. Blood.

You completely freaked and locked yourself in the bathroom. It took both Kirishima and Sero to coax you out after you battled the idea of calling the cops to their house. When you came out, there was a swarm of kids eyeing you like you were crazy. You asked to see Kodai. She appeared. She was unharmed: no blood, no marks, no recollection of any handsome boy who took a bite out of her wrist. Kamianri’s garage-sale couch had been occupied by no extremely handsome man, and there were no purple-haired people to be seen at the party afterwards.

It wasn’t something you could have imagined unless your drink had been spiked, but you thought you were pretty careful when it came to open containers! And besides, who’d want to spike your drink with hallucinogens. Getting you high could have been a prank or someone thinking they were doing the rest of the party-goers a favor, but to what you could tell, nobody else was seeing shit. So maybe you were crazy. Maybe there was no alluring voice speaking to you in your head, and your psyche had suddenly broken out of the damn blue. In the psychology class you took freshman year, you learned a lot about different mental illnesses that cause hallucinations and paranoia. Maybe you had to get yourself checked out.

Your phone buzzed again.

Kaminari: Kiri is gonna be real bummed if you don’t come :”(

Well, that was on him. You couldn’t really imagine why you would receive such a welcome invitation to another one of their parties after the big fuss you made. After you realized Kodai wasn’t in trouble, you stormed home; you lived close enough, so it was fine to leave your car there. You didn’t speak to anyone about what happened afterwards, so you were sure you’d be snubbed by your friends for at least a little bit. You figured that… if they wanted something else from you, maybe the rule of party fouls would be ignored.

You sighed, knowing that even though Kirishima definitely had a crush on you, he was still your friend and a great guy. You couldn’t think bitterly of him just because he might’ve wanted to kiss you on several occasions when you were just hanging out. You did sleep with him once, back in the day, but you both agreed to just be friends afterward. You were… kinda wild back then and didn’t like the idea of having a boyfriend. Kirishima tried to be understanding, but every now and then, you’d see him look at you with those sad, puppy-dog eyes.

There was a bleep! and you saw that you got a Snapchat notification from Sero. You pursed your lips and opened it to see a video of Kaminari singing your name, pushing Kirishima’s shoulder, and a chorus of several people making gross kissing noises at the two of them. You rolled your eyes and were about to close the video, but something—no, someone—in the background caught your eye.

You replayed the snap. There was singing, gross kissing noises, and him—right at the end of the video. He was only there for the last two seconds of the video, but those mesmerizing indigo eyes leering at the phone camera seemed to grab you by the throat.

You didn’t fucking imagine him. You didn’t fucking imagine him.

Sliding the screen to show the front-facing camera, you grimaced at your face. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and snapped a quick photo with the tag, ‘who is all there rn?’

Kaminari’s reply came instantly. It was another video of people hooting in the kitchen taking shots. Sero was sniffing at a rough-looking pineapple and Kaminari was yelling.

“Who is all here right now?!” Kaminari called and cheers came as a response. Kaminari turned the camera to face his grinning self. Kirishima was in the background checking his hair in the mirror. When he saw that the camera was in him, he flexed his arm, the dork. Then, Kamimari threw his arm around somebody, and pulled him into frame. You actually gasped.

“Why, the whole word is here, babe! Come overrrr!” Kaminari sang at you, but you weren’t paying any attention to him. Purple-haired-couch-kid was side-eyeing your drunken friend, but when he looked into the camera, he appeared to be amused. He wasn’t as dressed up as he was two weeks ago; he just had on a plane black T-shirt with the same ropey necklaces. The camera didn’t do his likeness any justice. The shadows under his eyes seemed to be much darker, and his skin was straight-up pale. Still, his gorgeous lavender eyes had you captivated. He was all you could see.

Purple-haired-guy’s ivory arm wrapped around Kaminari’s shoulder. He grinned, the whites of his teeth gleaming dangerously at the camera, squeezed Kaminari against him, and the video ended. You were too enamored to even thinking of taking a screenshot and you couldn’t replay the snap.

You cursed and covered your eyes with your pillow. You really were planning on sleeping the rest of the night away—maybe put on some cheesy soaps you could snicker at before zonking out. But now, it seemed, you didn’t have any choice but to go to the party. You had to see him.

A shower and a quick trip to the liquor store later and you were showing up to your friends’ rented domain with a six pack in hand. You entered without knocking. They never had the door locked; it was a constant open-invitation to ‘Denki’s Dank Crib’ as Kaminari wished people would call it.

You were immediately slapped in the face with human musk and you were glad to be wearing something more light: a white, chiffon top over your sunflower skirt with yellow, scrappy heels. It wasn’t everyday that you wanted to dress nicely, but as ridiculous as the concept was, if you did see the purple-haired-couch-kid… you wanted to look nice.

“Hey, you! Glad you could make it!” Strong arms pulled you into Kirishima’s hard chest. He smelled like sweat and old spice. He held you for two seconds too long, going so far as to rest his nose on the top of your head, before you pulled away, offering him a friendly smile. “Your conditioner smells nice!”

“Hah… thanks.” You grimaced.

“Oh, I’m sorry! That was really creepy! I’m sorry!” A slow blush bloomed on Kirishima’s cheeks. “I wasn’t trying to be weird. I might’ve had a few drinks already and I just… uh…”

Lending him a saving grace, you lifted the six pack up. “Care for another?”

“D’aww, you didn’t have to grab beer!” Kirishima grabbed the six pack from you. “I do love this stuff though! Thank you!”

“I couldn’t come here empty handed. It’s the least that I can do after what happened last time.” You started walking towards the kitchen, keeping an eye out for the purple guy or Kaminari.

“What happened last time?”

“You know,” you said while Kirishima cracked open a bottle, “when I had a freak out?”

“Freak out?” He offered you the bottle, but you shook your head. “What do you mean?”

You scanned the kitchen and saw only a few kids you didn’t know and Sero messing around with some frothy, yellow liquid in a beat-up blender. Looking to your right, you saw that there was nobody occupying Kaminari’s old loveseat. It wasn’t like you were expecting to see him there with what—Kaminari on his lap?—but it didn’t hurt to check.

“Like when I screamed and locked myself in the bathroom,” you said. “Then I left without saying goodbye.”

Kirishima’s brows crinkled. “I don’t remember you screaming or anything like that. You did leave a little suddenly, and I was bummed for like a minute, but that’s yesterday’s news. You’re here tonight!”

“Kiri, I was standing right next to you when I threw a fit. You don’t remember? You got me out of the bathroom.”

Kirishima shook his head. “Are you sure that was me?”

You were positive. You were definitely leaning on him, talking about how you didn’t need any boys, and Kirishima was warm like he always was when you touched him. You turned to look back at the couch and then you saw that purple guy bite Yui Kodai! Everyone heard you!

“You’re here!”

Sero zoomed towards you with two large cups of something in-hand. He gave you a bright smile and offered you one of the cups. “As soon as I heard you were heading over, I started making these! Piña coladas!”

“Oh…” you took the drink and gazed into the glass. It was yellow and mushy. Thinking back on your original theory—being drugged—you gave him a tight, closed-mouth grin. “What’s in it?”

“Uhh… Pineapple, coconut rum, and ice?” Seeing the unsure look on your face, Sero hastily added, “the pineapple was close to expiring, but I tasted it, and it’s still fine! Promise.”

“Did you even blend it right?” Kirishima asked, peering into your cup. “It looks like it’s breathing.”

“It’s not my fault our blender is janky!” Sero shot back. “I’m not the one who’s always making weird, keto-friendly protein shakes with, like, kale and shit added in every morning like some sort of psychopath.”

“It’s not crazy to be looking after my body. In fact, you could learn something from me!” Kirishima poked Sero in the ribs. “Skinny.”

“I’m not skinny,” Sero argued, flinching away. He lifted up his shirt to reveal his tight, well-kept abdomen. “I’m lean.” Sero smirked when he caught you staring.

“Alright, well, our girl only deserves the best service, and this ain’t it, chief.” Kirishima reaches to take the atrocity out of your hand, but seeing Sero’s dejected face, you pulled away.

“This is fine,” you promised warily. Beside yourself, you took a sip of Sero’s sloshy creation. You got a big chunk of pineapple in your mouth and chewed the rum out. The parts that weren’t chunks were all watery, like you were drinking straight rum. You forced yourself to smile. “It… tastes good at least.”

Sero was ecstatic. “Lovin’ your look, by the way. Yellow heels look good on you.”

Kirishima rolled his eyes and placed a hand on your back. “C’mon, you don’t have to be nice to him. Lemme make you something good in the kitchen.”

“Oh, wait, Sero. I wanted to apologize to you too!”

Sero raised a brow. “Apologize?”

“Yeah...” You turned your head from Sero to Kirishima, hoping for any sign of recognition. “For freaking out. Screaming. Locking myself in the bathroom. All those good things.”

“Oh,” Sero said. “Yeah, well, you’re forgiven.”

“So you remember!” You beamed.

Sero’s hand went to the back of his neck. “To be honest, I don’t remember a lot about the last party. I think Denki broke a table—“

“You helped him break the table,” Kirishima interjected.

“—aaand someone stole my good bong? That’s it. I’m sorry you had a bad time, though. Hopefully you’ll have more fun tonight! Kaminari bought a karaoke set. It’s got all the shitty songs they’re playing on the radio right now.”

“Where is Denki,” you asked, looking around. Damn it, if nobody remembered you screaming, at least you could count on Kaminari possibly getting the name of the kid who he had his arms around in that video he sent you.

“Off somewhere being a dumbass.” Sero waved his hand absently at the crowd of kids in the living room. “You wanna smoke? I just got a new bong and it hits pretty smoothly. Or maybe you wanna try karaoke? Though you would probably wanna get a couple drinks in before that, huh?”

“Ah, maybe later. I just gotta find Denki.”

“Why?” Kirishima asked suspiciously.

“I just gotta ask him something…” you pulled out your phone and dialed his number. It rang three times before getting to his raunchy voicemail. You scoffed.

“He could be up in his room,” Kirishima suggested.

“With a chick?” Asked Sero, amused. You made a face and Sero quickly corrected himself, saying, “I mean… with a nice lady?”

“Who’s to say.” You took a sip of Sero’s special beverage. It was gross, but you were here, and probably getting a little annoyed. You came out, so you might as well try to enjoy yourself.

“I’m sure he’ll come down eventually. If he really is with a girl, he’ll be down soon, and he’ll be hungry,” said Kirishima. “Hey, I’m gonna be ordering a pizza. Any topping preference? I was gonna get a few and wanted to make sure—oh, hey!! Bakugou!”

Your eyes followed Kirishima’s to see some grouchy-looking blonde kid coming in from the front door. You took advantage of both Sero and Kirishima greeting the guy with high-fives and fist-bumps, and made your way into the dining room where kids were playing a drinking game on a broken table.

You chatted a bit with a few kids you hadn’t met before, a girl whose name you forgot from the biology class you took last semester, and some guy who was so drunk you couldn’t comprehend a single mumble that rolled off his tongue. Nobody seemed to know where Kaminari was. Nobody seemed to have seen any boy with purple hair and an angelic face...

You scooted past three boys who were playing some stupid slapping game and into the living room. You sat down on the couch and checked in on your phone messages. It’s been two hours since Kaminari last texted you to come over. You thought about shooting him a text now, but—

‘Do you realize that all of the air in the room goes out when you walk in?’

You choked on air, as embarrassing as that was, and looked up, expecting to see someone who spoke to you. Nobody was paying you any mind for Kaminari's shitty couch, but you knew you heard that titillating voice, and it wasn’t because you were crazy.

‘Such a pretty little thing to be left all alone at a party. Did you lose your fan club?’

“Actually, I chose to sit here by myself,” you said aloud, minding the few people who actually turned to see you talking to yourself. You shrunk back into the couch and pretended to be taking a video of yourself.

‘Well, I’m sure. It’s a comfortable couch, afterall—better when shared.’

Oh, so this voice was a dirty, little thot. You clicked your tongue and texted Kaminari. ‘Hey, I’m here. Where are you?’

Kaminari(11:02): side yard.

Hopping up, you headed for the sliding patio door.

‘Eager to see your babe, babe?’

“Oh, shut up!” You hissed while walking outside and a girl watching a beer pong game frowned at you. You weren’t sure, you thought that you could hear a chuckle in the very far back-end of your head.

Kaminari was in the side yard, thank god. He was leaning against the house, staring absently at the side gate. He was alone, not on his phone or anything to keep him busy. He was just standing there.

“Hey, Kami!”

Kaminari barely turned his head towards you when he said, “hey...”

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you! What are you doing hiding away in the side yard?”

“‘m just chillin’. Waitin’ for my friend…”

“A friend?” You asked. “Kaminari, are you okay?”

“Of course,” Kaminari said, still staring at the side gate. “I’ve never been better… it’s a nice night…”

You stepped out in front of him. Kaminari didn’t meet your gaze; his yellow eyes were hazy and blank. You waved your hand in front of his face and he didn’t even react.

“Kami…”

“It’s a real nice night,” he repeated dreamily. “I‘m waiting for a friend...”

“What friend, Kami? Who are you waiting for?”

“Uhh… Dunno. He just left…”

“What does he look like?” You asked, growing impatient. Kaminari wasn’t the brightest, but he was never really this slow. There was something wrong with him.

“Hmmm… like the moon…”

“Denki.”

“...”

“I saw you near a kid with purple hair and a lot of jewelry in some of the snaps you sent, Kaminari. Do you know where I might be able to find him? He was at the last party too.”

“Yeah... That’s my friend…”

Thank god, thank god someone else knew who the hell you were talking about. “Do you know where he went?”

“To get a snack…” At that, Kaminari cracked a grin.

Fangs and blood flashed in your mind. You clenched your teeth together. If you remembered correctly, perhaps purple-haired-couch-kid’s idea of a snack wasn’t suitable for this party. You grabbed his wrist. “C’mon, let's go back inside. You need some water.”

But when you turned back to your house, you bumped right into what felt like a brick wall. But it wasn’t a brick wall. This barrier was a person whose ivory skin practically glowed an eerie white under the moonlight. This barrier was a person whose indigo eyes scanned you like a marauder finding his treasure. This barrier was a person whose flushed lips tugged up into a smirk when you shrieked.

Your stomach sank when he laughed at you after you leapt back and against Kaminari’s chest. Kaminari placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, as if he was trying to be reassuring, but his touch was too light and vacant to do much to calm you.

Goosebumps crawled up your skin when you took in couch-kid’s sudden appearance. You were mad at yourself for thinking that even though he was frightening in the dark, his sharp jawline was practically begging to be nibbled on.

Jesus, what the fuck was wrong with you?! You couldn’t be thinking about hooking up with strangers that bite while Denki was high and everyone else was forgetting shit! You shook your head and scowled.

“Sorry about that… didn’t mean to scare you.” Your heart did a little jump at hearing his voice for the first time. At least, you were pretty sure this was the first time you’d heard it. It did sound oddly familiar, but you couldn’t quite place it.  

Couch-kid held out his hand. For a second, you thought he was going to shake your hand, but then you saw that he was holding a wrapped cereal bar. Froot Loops. “Here you go, Denki.”

Kaminari’s arm snaked through the opening between your arm and waist to grab the treat. Your body nearly vibrated from being only just a couple inches away from Couch-kid’s finger tips. His arms were nice—white and long, but strong, with a few prominent veins running up them. Did he drink weird, keto-friendly protein shakes with kale and shit added in them like Kirishima? Why did you care?

“Oh man, thanks Shinsou. I was starting to get dizzy,” Kaminari said, unwrapping the sweet treat. You heard him crunching from behind you, and you don’t know why, but you were suddenly very irritated with his presence. You shouldn’t have been. There was obviously something going on with him and you should’ve been wanting to help him out, but then, you really wanted to be alone with Couch-kid. The thought just made you more agitated.

“Not a problem,” Couch-kid—Shinsou—purred. He didn’t look at Kaminari when he spoke; he was eyeing you.

“Shinsou,” you said, pulling at the hem of your skirt. Did he remember you? Did he think you were dumb for staring at him without saying anything for so long back at the last party?

“That’s me.” Shinsou grinned. This time, he took your hand, rather than offering his, and kissed the back of your wrist. You honestly would have swooned if you didn’t see him do the exact same thing to Yui Kodai just a short while ago. Still, his cool lips making contact with your skin made tiny electric currents shoot up from your arm, to your neck. You shuddered. “I don’t think we’ve officially met. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“The, uh… pleasure’s all mine?” That was what they said in the movies, right? Cheesy soaps, whomst? What a weird thing to say, anyways. Even still, as silly as that old-time greeting was, he could’ve easily said something as ridiculous as, ‘charmed, I’m sure,’ and you still wouldn’t have been able to muster out a bark of laughter like you would with literally anywhere else.

“Denki, didn’t you say you wanted to go sing some karaoke?” Shinsou asked, his eyes still on you.

“I did say that,” Kaminari said, taking another bite out of his cereal bar. “Karaoke sounds nice…” And without any ceremony, he started walking. Sliding past you, he made his way down the side of the house. Just like that?! He was going to leave you with a stranger?

You called, “wait! Kaminari... are you really okay? You were acting a little funky just a minute ago.”

“Mmm, yeah, I’m fine. I just really wanted cereal.” Kaminari wiggled the now empty bar wrapper in the air. “But Shinsou took very good care of me…” That faraway look returned to his eyes when he said, “I’ll catch you later, babe.” With that, he was gone, leaving you alone with a guy who simultaneously made the hair on the back of your neck stand up and your heart melt with a quirk of his brow.

Shinsou’s eyes scanned over you, up from where your hand was bunched up in your skirt, to your torso, your collar bones, your lips, then back down to your neck. Unease settled over you when his eyes finally met yours and you had to quickly look away. You wished that  you were anywhere else in the world. You also wished you could think of something, anything, to say to him, but asking about Kodai seemed to be so wrong to you, at the moment, and the last time either of you had interacted, you were about to hop into his lap!

Finally, you mustered, “do you know if he smoked anything? He really wasn’t acting like his usual self. I’m worried something might be wrong…”

“Not to my knowledge. He might’ve had a couple drinks though,” Shinsou said. There was another long pause, and you fought your brain to come up up a normal conversational topic, but Shinsou beat you to to the punch. “Is he your boyfriend?”  

“What? No!” You still couldn’t look him in the eye as you answered. You hoped that it was dark enough to be able to hide your flushing face. “He’s really just a friend.”

“He calls you ‘babe’, though.”

“Yeah, well, if you put a skirt on, I’m sure he’d call you babe too.” You shrugged. “He’s just a flirt.”

“You weren’t wearing a skirt at that last party,” Shinsou mused, which gave you a little rush. He remembered you. “And he still called you babe.”

You pressed your lips together to keep from smiling, but your humor rang out in your voice when you asked, “are you interested in him or something? Because I can go get him back for you, if you want. I’m pretty sure he dated a guy our sophomore year.”

Shinsou clicked his tongue, amused. “It’s not him I’m interested in. Not really my type.”

“Right, right,” you laughed, gaining more confidence. “Well, I haven’t seen Kodai here tonight, but I think I have her number saved. Would you like me to give her a ring? It’s the least I can do for you taking care of my poor, dumb not-boyfriend while I was away.”

You reached inside your purse to grab your phone. You really would have called her, but before you could even touch your phone, Shinsou’s fingers were wrapped around your wrist. You almost yelped. Shinsou’s fingers were much cooler than his lips were and it surprised you.

“I knew you were jealous,” he remarked darkly. Immediately, you yanked your arm free, but that only prompted him to grab your wrist from a newer angle. You narrowed in on him, ready to bite—he was someone you didn’t know grabbing you, so obviously you had every right to—but as soon as you gazed into his eyes, you were lost.

His pupils were abyssal; so dark that they appeared white. Looking at him, your body felt cool—numb almost. Beyond any control, your body relaxed which made you lose your tight grip of Sero’s shitty piña colada. You didn’t even care about the cold, sloshy mess splattering over your heels.

Shinsou backed you into the wall, his stare intense, his lips parted and amused. He planted his free hand on your arm and took his time running it up to your shoulder, your neck. The tips of his fingers lightly danced across your jugular, the pad of his thumb slowly running up and down the pulsing vein. He scrutinized you dangerously, daring you to move, to run, to scream for help. Not knowing whether you were scared or aroused, you let him touch you, though ‘let’ didn’t seem like the appropriate word. It was like you had no other choice. He wanted to study you, so he would, and you would not object. So naturally, when Shinsou slid his hand to the nape of your neck, you turned to grant him access to what you knew what he really wanted.

He first pressed his nose up against your skin and inhaled deeply. You shivered as he groaned, “I’ve been waiting for you for too damn long. My sanguine.”

When Shinsou’s lips pressed against your flesh, you melted. Every nerve-ending in your body set aflame; you were no closer to fleeing the scene than you were indulging in the sweet sensation that his kiss had to offer. His cool tongue traveled up your neck, sending waves of jubilant shivers down your spine. His fingers hooked around your shoulder as he deepened the kiss. You felt a tingling sensation warming up between your legs that was only a tiny bit eased when he lodged his knee between you. His hand slid down your back where he pulled you on to him more comfortably; held up by his thigh, his arm, and nothing more.

“Nhhh-“ you tried to object, like you should, like you knew you wanted to, but a carnal urge pulled at the strings of your willpower. Whether he kissed you, or killed you, you wouldn’t be able to deny him his satisfaction. You would give him, Shinsou, a stranger, anything he wanted at any given moment.

But when you heard your name called from inside, the spell was broken.  

You tensed. Shinsou’s lips froze against your skin. You felt his hands tighten around you protectively, possessively, and you knew you were in deep shit.

“Kiri,” you whispered despite wanting nothing more than to say another man’s name. Kirishima was looking for you and yet, here you were, in his side yard, with another boy. Perhaps you hadn’t changed as much as you originally thought you had.

“Don’t-!” Shinsou hissed when you tried to pull away. There was urgency in his voice, something unexpected from him. His eyes were desperate and hungry. Terrifying. It felt good knowing that he wanted to keep you, and that thought was more frightening than what you thought was his original intentions. Fingers slid their way to your waist, and Shinsou bowed his head, dipping in to kiss your lips, but before he could, your hand fell on his face.

It wasn’t a slap, no. You literally put your entire ass palm on his face to save yourself from a kiss you actually wanted.

“O-oh god!” You stuttered out. Beyond any responsible control, you shoved his head back. “I’m sorry!”

Finally freed, you bolted a good five feet away from him, back towards the house. Your assaulter gazed at you with surprise, sleepy eyes rounded in a sort of sincere, pitiful way, but you couldn’t let his dejection get to you. You swallowed harshly as you backed away from him and the wall, going against every fiber in your body telling you to stay put, to stay at his side, to let him satiate any and all needs that he had.

The thing is, you would have. Despite not being able to bark out the half-dozen questions you had for him (why do you bite people? Why can’t anybody remember you? Why do I think I can hear your voice in my head? Why the sudden smooches? What the fuck?) you would have stayed with him there, had you not heard your name called a second time.

“Leaving so soon?” Shinsou asked, gaining some composure, though as lax as he tried to make himself seem, there was an imperative note in his tone. “Don’t want to let your fan club down, I guess.” His voice was a shrug. “And here I thought you were going around asking about me.”

That was so excruciatingly embarrassing; being caught showing interest. Did he know how many people you spoke to? You wished you could wither up and blow away right then and there.

You glanced through the glass door to see Kirishima holding his phone up to your ear. A second later, your phone started buzzing. You ignored it.

“I guess I just wanted to know who you were, is all,” you said, a perfectly normal response. That was you: calm, cool, and collected—totally not willing to makeout with extremely hot strangers out of nowhere. “I haven’t seen you around before that last party…” which would be a perfectly fine segue into asking him why he bit Yui Kodai, if only you could will your body to ask!

“So you’re satisfied?”

“Uh-huh!” Not at all. Not at all. But that didn’t stop you from turning back towards the house.

‘Liar.’

Your body went cold. The voice rang too clearly to have been said aloud, but it was definitely his. In. Your. Head.

“What did you say?” You asked, turning back, trying to keep your tone steady. You didn’t know why, but you thought it would be bad if he heard your voice crack or squeak.

“I asked if you were satisfied. We barely got to converse and yet, you’re skittering away after making such a fuss about finding me. Why is that?”

“I’m not skittering away and—hey!” You put your hands on your hips. “You called me a liar just now, didn’t you?”

Shinsou placed his hands in his hips, mocking you. “I said no such thing!”

“Well, no, maybe you didn’t say it with your mouth…”

“What else would I have said it with? My hips?” He smirked. “Are you sure it wasn’t your own conscience calling you out?”

You scoffed. You couldn’t believe he was teasing you!” And what about your conscience?! Do you just go around attacking people’s necks out of nowhere like that as a hobby?!”

“Interesting choice of words,” he chuckled. “No, I wouldn’t say attacking people is a hobby, but more of a necessity. And I don’t usually go for the neck, either. I save that intimacy for victims who are a little more willing…”

‘Really, I wouldn’t want a single drop of you to run down your arms, anyways.’

“Willing?!” You started, incredulous. You pointed a shaking finger at him and continued with, “you really have a thing or two to learn about cons-!”

“Hey!” Kirishima was sliding the door to patio open. “I was looking for you! The pizza’s almost gone, but I saved you a couple slices.” He looked at you and registered the expression on your face. His eyes narrowed as he approached you. “Who are you talking to?”

But when Kirishima looked down the side yard, there was nobody there—just the slushy remains of your piña colada. He bent down to pick the cup up to see you shaken, wordless. “What happened?”

You could only shake your head. Because you didn’t know what happened—you didn’t know anything! Shinsou was there and now he wasn’t, and the more you tried to say anything on the matter, the more the words got stuck at the back of your throat.

“Hey,” Kirishima said, full of concern. He grabbed both of your trembling hands and wound his fingers through yours. That was intimate. Something sweet. Something that was supposed to be reassuring. What in the hell was supposed to be intimate about a guy you barely met narrowing in on your neck like that.

You sighed and allowed your head to fall against Kirishima’s chest. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close while that angry blonde kid, Bakugou, appeared at the doorway, munching on a slice of pizza (probably the last one.) He took one look at you, rolled his eyes, and walked away. Kirishima asked you what happened once more. You said, “I’d just really like to get home.”

“Let me walk with you,” Kirishima whispered. That would be pulling him away from his own party, but he didn’t seem to care about that. The world really needed more Kirishimas.

“Okay.”

Making your way through the house, you saw Kaminari in the living room slurring the lyrics to a lame song, Sero cheering him on while simultaneously recording every word, and Bakugou glaring out the front window. Kirishima quickly told Sero where the two of you were headed which made Sero form a tight line with his mouth. After seeing the stricken expression on your face, Sero seemed to ease up a bit.

Kirishima held your hand while he walked with you. He tried to make light conversation, attempting to get your mind off of whatever happened when you were alone in his side yard, but you couldn’t entertain him with idle chit chat. The entire walk home, you thought you felt somebody’s watchful gaze on you.

TAGS FOR EVERYTHING (CLOSED): @ayeputita @yandere-inamorata @dee-madwriter @unboundbnha @rizamendoza808, @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten @rubycubix@smbody-stole-mycar-radio @zellllyyyy@sarcastictextstuck@kpanime @captain-sin-allmight-queen @psionicsnow@wickedlewicked @ghost-of-todoroki @kattariapenn@im-an-adult-sometimes @bnhya @local-senpai@eggpienutbuttercroissant@usernamekate94 @reyvenclaww @hi-ho-and-hello

[aliendes]

Natural Borns - Chapter One

dystopian!au / futuristic!au

AUTHOR NOTE: here it is! Chapter one of Natural Borns. If you haven’t already, please read the prologue, or else this wont make the most sense. The prologue gives some backstory about the universe that you need to fully enjoy the story. Thank you for all the love on the prologue, it pushed me to want to put this out early. If you enjoy this series, please follow and reblog so it can reach more eyes. Feel free to send me an ask! I would love to answer any questions, because I’m sure I’m inevitably going to leave some things unanswered (this is my first time writing a series, after all). Enjoy! xx Des

Series info/genre: Angst, fluff, (possible) smut NSFW due to darker themes Pairings: ot7 x fem reader (eventual) Warnings: this series will have different trigger warnings listed for each chapter (if there are any), but as a whole, this series will include violence, mentions of depression & other mental illnesses, cursing, abuse, drugs/alcohol, some shitty medical descriptions because i am NOT a doctor, self-esteem issues, fluff, and possible smut in future chapters (but that’s undecided). i will add more warnings/tags in the future if there are any. Description: In the year 2613, over half of the world’s population are what scientists consider ‘designer babies’. YN is a small town girl who is a true natural born, someone born naturally without he help of a lab or gene splicing. Her DNA is greatly sought after, but what is she willing to do to protect it? Word count: 3.6k 

It was early. Too early for you to be awake. As you rolled over in your bed, taking your poofy duvet cover with you, you noticed that it was barely dawn. Your curtains were drawn, how you always left them - liking to wake up with the sun, and you couldn’t even see said sun on the horizon yet. You could make out a pink line that melted perfectly with the purple and blues of the night sky. After admiring the beauty of it for a moment, you rolled back over with a huff.

You’re already awake, might as well get out of bed.

You lived on a peach farm, or orchard, that your family owned and had chores and duties to fulfill around the house and land. The orchard was on about ten acres, small for a farm, but big enough to get the job done. Your father sells the peaches you harvest to local grocers and restaurants and sells the rest at your mother’s stall at the farmer’s market in town. Your mom grows flowers in her garden on the property and makes beautiful arrangements for locals. She just recently made the arrangements for the wedding of one of your old classmates. You helped out where you could with harvests, taking care of the animals your family cared for, and working the market on weekends. It wasn’t a luxurious life by any means, but you were happy. You definitely couldn’t complain, not when most natural borns had way less than you. You were fortunate, really, and content living this small town life.

You swung your legs over the edge of your bed and stretched your arms up high, letting out a big yawn. Your pajamas were all bunched up and uncomfortable on your legs as you scooted closer to the edge of your bed, expecting your toes to meet the cool wood of the floor. Instead, you were met with something warm and fuzzy and a loud meow that sounded through your room, making you jump.

“Ai- sorry Mochi,” you grumbled, watching the cat scurry across the floor. You smiled and shook your head at the cat, who was now giving you a death glare from next to your bedroom door. You slowly stood up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and opened the door to let the devil cat out. He quickly took advantage of the open door and ran down the stairs as fast as he could. You watched him for a moment before making your way to your bathroom down the hall. 

Closing and locking the door behind you, you started your morning routine of brushing your teeth and hair and washing your face. Once you turned the faucet off, you rubbed a clean white towel over your face, pulling it down slowly as you peeked over it at the mirror. You looked tired, small bags beginning to form under your eyes, skin darkening slightly from being out in the sun, maybe even a little sunburnt from working at the market yesterday. Still starting at your reflection, you hang your towel up on the rack with a sigh, turning to get dressed for the day.

Your normal work day attire consists of jeans and a t-shirt. It was June, just starting to get unbearably hot in Korea, so you opted for some looser linen pants and a light shirt. You didn’t have a whole lot to do today other than feed animals, clean the chicken coop, and help mom out with some arrangements. You wouldn’t be harvesting the peach trees until late July or early August at the rate they were growing currently, though you did still need to monitor them and make sure they remained healthy before harvest season. 

By the time you were ready for the day, the sun was just barely coming up and the smell of coffee beans entered your nose. Mom must be up, you thought to yourself. You smiled and made your way down the stairs, grabbing onto the bottom of the banister and swinging yourself around it, an old habit of yours from all the way back in elementary school. You were still a kid at heart, even at the age of 23. 

“Good morning Pearl!” your mother called from the kitchen. Pearl was the nickname your parents have called you since you could walk. Natural pearls are extremely rare, almost never occurring in nature. You were also a rare breed, a true natural born, hard to find like a pearl, hence the nickname.

“Morning mama,” you said, walking up to her and giving her a side hug, “watcha makin’?” You asked with a teasing lilt to your voice. Your mom was a tad shorter than you and you liked to take advantage of that, leaning your elbow on her shoulder as you watched her stir the pan in front of her.

“Steamed eggs and rice, now go get your father, would you? We have to start on these arrangements soon, Mrs. Lee needs 25 of them by tomorrow afternoon.”

You gave your mom a nod and made your way back up the stairs, hopping over Mochi who was now taking up residence on the second step. “You’re gonna get stepped on your curious cat,” you said under your breath. Mochi just watched on as you took two stairs at a time. 

Before you could reach the top of the stairs, you nearly stumbled straight into your father who had just come around the corner. “Who-whoa,” he laughed out as you grabbed onto the railing to stop yourself from smacking into him. 

“Mom needs you!” You yelped out, passing your dad on the stairs and running into your room to grab your phone from your nightstand. You could hear your dad chuckling as he walked down the stairs. As you picked up your phone, you noticed you had a new message in your group chat you had with your two best friends, well, your only friends, you supposed.

From Mina [11:13 pm]: pearl!!!

From Mina [11:13 pm]: pearl are u awake?

From Woo [11:15 pm]: why are you awake min?

From Mina [11:17 pm]: cant sleep, pearl, u up!?

From Woo [11:23 pm]: I’m gonna guess not

From Mina [11:25 pm]: ugh dfghjk 

You giggled at your screen for a moment before typing back a response.

You [6:37 am]: sorry guys, i went to bed early last night what’s up min?

You pocketed your phone, definitely not expecting a response at this ungodly hour, and headed back downstairs. On your short walk, you thought to your two friends, Mina and Wooyoung, who you befriended in middle school. Well, actually Mina befriended you and Wooyoung in seventh grade because you were both outcasts that didn’t talk to anyone. Ever the martyr, she brought your little group together and you’ve been thick as thieves ever since. You don’t see them as much as you’d like nowadays, as they both attended the small community college in your town. You never really liked school, never excelled at anything, and were always a homebody. College just didn’t sound fun to you, especially if people there were anything like at your highschool. Highschool hadn’t been kind to you. You were labeled ‘half-breed’ and ‘mutant’ by a group of girls who wanted nothing more than to see you suffer because of your looks. Boys would flirt with you, leave you love notes, and even try to harass you in the halls, but never because they actually took an interest in you. The one time you went to a party with Mina, you had been cornered in some guy's barn by one of the popular boys who was trying to get in your pants. This just made the popular girls even more angry with you and would jump through hoops to make your life hell while at school. All of those experiences taught you one thing: most people can’t be trusted. Some might say you have trust issues (Mina) while others will try to get you to come out of your shell a bit more (Woo and your mom), but in the end, you’re comfortable with your two best friends and your parents. You never asked for more because you simply didn’t need it.

Most, if not all, families these days only had one child, so you nor your friends ever knew what it was like to have siblings. Even your parents were only children, so no aunts, uncles, or cousins to call an extended family. This was normal, though, because a law was put in place in 2505 banning families from having more than one child to help with population control. If a family broke this law, they were fined excessive amounts of money. The law was easy to enforce with parents of lab born children, since their child had to be entered into a national database, meaning no company would work with them again to avoid hefty fines, or possibly being put out of business. It was a little harder to enforce with natural born families. The law was definitely one sided, aimed to force more and more natural borns into poverty. 

You were snapped out of your daydream as you entered your kitchen, taking in the sight of your dad sitting at the dining table reading something on his tablet and your mom making a grocery list. You smiled softly, rounding the table and taking your usual seat next to your mother. “Thanks for breakfast, mom,” you said kindly, leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek. 

“Of course, Pearl. Now eat up, we need to get going soon if-” your mother was cut off by the sudden shriek of the doorbell, which caused you to jump what had to be 5 feet in the air. Who was ringing your doorbell at - you took your phone out - 6:44 in the morning?

Your father had the same perplexed look that you must’ve worn, getting up out of his chair and heading towards the front room of the house. You shared a puzzled look with your mom who just shrugged her shoulders and went back to her list, blowing on a piece of hot egg in her spoon. 

As you started to fiddle with your own spoon, you tried to strain to hear the conversation happening in the other room. You could hear hushed murmurs that sounded rushed, almost angry. You squint your eyes in confusion. It sounded like your dad was mad. He never gets mad. Who could be at the front door? Slowly, you rise from your seat to go investigate, your mother paying you no mind.

As you round the corner of the kitchen, your father comes into view holding the front door at a 90 degree angle from the wall, effectively blocking your vision of the man on the other side. Your dad’s profile told you what you needed to know, though. He was visibly angry, apples of his cheeks reddening. He was still speaking in a hushed tone, though you could tell it was tense.

Slowly, you walked over to your father, peeking around the front door. If your dad noticed your presence, he didn’t mention it. Standing on your front porch was a man, shorter than your father, with dark hair and round glasses perched on his nose. He was obviously a natural born, as he didn’t have any of the perfect or striking features you were used to seeing on business men such as himself. He didn’t look intimidating in the least, but you could almost see the steam rolling out of your dad’s ears. As soon as the man caught sight of you, a bright grin took over his face.

“Ah, you must be YN,” he starts, taking a step forward and reaching out his hand, “it’s so nice to finally meet you.”

You were confused by his words, taking a step back to match his. You didn’t know this man and you definitely didn’t want to shake his hand. Did he say finally meet you? What is that supposed to mean?

“You need to leave,” your father started, causing the shorter man’s attention to fall back on him, “now.” Your dad left no room for discussion, effectively ending the conversation. 

The mysterious man nodded once, looking back at you. “We’ll be in touch,” were his final words before turning on his heel and walking back towards a sleek, black car at the end of your drive. Before you could take in any more details of the car, your father was closing the front door. He breathed out a heavy sigh and placed a hand on your bicep, gently leading you back to the kitchen.

Your mom looked up from her, now nearly finished, breakfast. “Who was it, sweetie?”

Your dad sat back in his chair, leaving you standing, confused, in the middle of your kitchen. “Yeah, dad. Who was that?” You asked, genuinely concerned about the stranger.

Your dad let out another sigh before turning to look up at you, “Just another company. You know how they are, Pearl. Persistent, but they’ll back off eventually once they realize we aren’t interested.”

You slowly nodded in understanding. These designer baby companies have been coming to ‘scout’ you since you were in elementary school. They would come to your home, or even your school, and try to talk to you about selling your DNA and how it would be beneficial to your family, maybe even bring them out of poverty, make them rich. When you were a child, the offer was enticing, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little curious even now. But you knew where you stood on the subject. You didn’t want to sell your DNA. You didn’t want anything to do with these big companies that were making natural borns poor while getting rich in the process. But you remembered something, “Dad, what did he mean by finally meeting me?”

Your dad has his back turned to you again, starting to eat his breakfast. You could see him visibly stiffen at your question before quickly relaxing again. Your mother seemed to notice this too, sending a worried glance at him, to which you couldn’t see his response. Without turning to look at you, he mumbled, “That was Hyunwoo, a former classmate of mine.”

So you were right in your assumption about Hyunwoo being a natural born. You know your dad hadn’t gone to college, and his family lived in this very house while he was growing up. That means Hyunwoo must be from the same town as you. Most people living here were living in poverty, so why did he look like a million bucks? No one from this town could afford a car like that either. Before you could get too lost in your thoughts, your father was speaking again, “He works for a pretty well known company in Seoul. He’s been interested in you since you were a little kid.” The thought alone was enough to make you feel nauseous. You didn’t even know this man, yet he’s known about you practically all your life. Apparently he’s been seeking you out for a while too, if your assumptions are correct.  

“Why was he here?” You voiced your thoughts aloud.

Your father set his spoon down on his dish before turning his entire body in his chair to face you. “It’s nothing Pearl,” he started, firm but gentle, “You know these companies never leave us alone. His is no different. They’ll get the message sooner or later.” There was a finality in his tone, making it known there was no room for discussion on the matter. With a nod of his head he stood up from his seat, gathering his dishes, and deposited them into the sink. “I’ll be out in the orchards if you need me.” 

You nodded before sitting down at the table and picking at your food. 

“Don’t worry, dear,” your mother said as she, too, stood up with her dishes, “this type of thing happens all the time.” 

Even though you trusted your parents, and they were right - it did happen fairly often, something about Hyunwoo seemed different. The way he looked at you and spoke the words ‘finally meet you’, made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Even your mom and dad seemed nervous when his name was spoken at the kitchen table. But you trusted your parents. Right?

In the early afternoon, you had just finished your chores of feeding the chickens and cats, and you were wandering around the orchard. Your dad had retired to the shed on the far north corner of the property. He liked to spend a lot of time in there, tinkering with old appliances. You and your mother had finished the arrangements for Mrs. Lee earlier and now she was at the market fulfilling the list she made earlier. 

You didn’t really have anything that needed to get done right away. You know you should probably go check on the flowers in your mom’s garden, make sure they don’t need to be watered again, but it’s been a while since you’ve walked through the orchard without the responsibility of the trees looming over you. Your father cleaned up the trees earlier, made sure drip lines were intact and checked over the farm, so you decided to indulge in your favorite pass time. 

You walked away from the chicken coop towards the edge of the orchard. It was truly one of your favorite places in the whole world - not that you’ve seen much of it, but still - and you could spend hours getting lost among the beautifully colored canopy of peach blossoms. 

When you reached the edge of the orchard, you leaned your hand against the cool oak colored bark of one of the trees, and toed off your shoes, leaving them in the dirt. The trees were just starting to blossom with pretty pink and white flowers among the green and almost yellowish leaves. Only about another month before harvest, you thought idly to yourself. 

As you walked through the trees, you relished in the feeling of the cool dirt beneath your feet, squishing between your toes with each step. The air outside was hot and humid, but the earth was cool under the shade of the trees. With each trunk you passed, you let your hand ghost over the rough bark, memorizing the feeling of it. You looked up at the leaves, slowly moving in the slight breeze today. Your family's farm was small, only about 10 acres, so the trees weren’t so dense you couldn’t see the sky above or would be completely hidden from view while walking through them. If your dad were to come out of his shed, you probably would’ve been able to see him from here, though it was a good distance away. 

As you got closer to the center of the trees you found a nice trunk to sit down against and pulled your phone from your pocket, checking your group chat with your friends. 

From Mina [2:05 pm]: pearl pearl pearl

From Mina [2:06 pm]: where are u

You rolled your eyes at your best friend's antics before typing out your reply.

From you [2:36 pm]: walking through the trees, what’s up?

Almost immediately you were looking at a response.

From Mina [2:37 pm]: there was some guy here on campus today

From Mina [2:38 pm]: a girl from my econ class said he was looking for you

From Mina [2:39 pm]: said he looked like he didn’t belong here, i’m assuming it’s some company but i wanted to let u know

Your heart dropped into your stomach at this new knowledge. It wasn’t incredibly strange for someone to be looking for you at the college. Most residents of the town attended the college at some point or another, what with it being free to attend because of a bill passed decades ago by natural born activists fighting for education for those living in poverty. But something about this felt wrong. 

Before you could respond to Mina to ease the worries you were sure she felt, you heard what sounded like a twig snapping somewhere behind you. Already on edge from the text messages, you quickly stood up, turning almost completely around in your spot. Your eyes focused on the spot where you thought you heard the noise come from, only to be met with nothing. Despite knowing you heard something, part of you wondered if it was all in your head, the events of the day messing with you. 

In the distance, you could see that your family’s truck was still missing from the drive, meaning your mom was still out shopping. Quickly, you glanced at your father’s shed - the doors were still shut tightly. Momentarily you wondered if he would be able to hear you if you screamed. Shaking the thought from your mind, you turned back around to face the tree. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught movement from behind a trunk a few yards in front of where you stood. 

“Who’s there?!” you half yelled, fear starting to creep up your spine. You definitely weren’t one to fight, much more comfortable running from your problems and confrontation. You wished Mina was here, she would be brave enough to move forward, to protect herself from danger. You slowly started walking backwards, not taking your eyes off the trunk where you believed someone to be hiding. You wanted to turn and run, but didn’t want to risk whoever it was behind that tree attacking you from the back. As you continued to take cautious steps, your back collided with something firm, yet not hard enough to be a tree trunk. This was softer, warmer. Human. 

To be continued....

AUTHOR NOTE: Sooooo, who do you think YN ran into?! Who do you think will make an appearance next chapter? ;)

copyright aliendes 2020

[dayseternal-blog]

i think im running out of naruhina fluff/smut. T-T. Can you help me out? hihi

 🔍

you think you can hide behind anonymous 🧐  I’m quite certain I know who this is haha 😘

And for you, dearest anon, have three completely unfinished, barely started wips (EVIL CACKLES BECAUSE THESE GO NOWHERE)

But actually, if any of these one-shot ideas catch your interest, please let me know and maybe I’ll actually try to finish one of them?

Smutty Soulmate AU, where you meet your soulmate in your dreams each night upon turning 20.

When her alarm jars her from sleep, she’s always only left with a feeling and flashes of color.  Today...she desperately tries to focus, to reach back, to remember…

Excitement.  Red.  Dark.

Her heart beats faster for reasons unknown to her, and there’s no point in trying any harder to slide the experiences of the soul into her brain.  After pointless meditation sessions, longer naps, and all manners of effort with dream diaries and online tips, she’s been resigned to the fact that only her other half can unlock that translation of dreams to memories.  She has yet to meet her soulmate in person.

Ever since her 20th birthday a few months ago, since that nerve wracking night of meeting her soulmate for the first time, going out has been a secret manhunt.  Eyes peeled to every single passersby over the age of 20.  Any one of them could be the person she’s spent the last 200 or so nights with.

So she dresses carefully for a day out with Sakura, Tenten, and Ino.  They’ll be going to the restaurant where Sakura’s fiance works his part-time job.  For all she knows, her soulmate might be there, too.

A guy?  A girl?  Her age?  Much older?  She has no idea what she’ll say to her soulmate, either.  But she imagines that when she sees them, it’ll be like a homecoming.  Planning is unnecessary, right?  When it’s someone you actually see every night?  If they didn’t like her, she can’t imagine why she would wake up every morning with so much residual happiness and longing.

-------------------------------------THAT’S IT @bunny-hoodlum

Ghost-Hunting (Obake Hunt) Comedy Modern AU, Naruto & co. visit a college at night for some scares that take an unexpected turn...

A shadowed driveway leads up the mountain toward the private college.

“Is this it?” Sasuke asks, peering out the car window.

“Yeah, turn here,” Ino instructs.  

“Okay, but why is the place even open at this time of night,” Sakura states, arms crossed with a skeptical expression as Sasuke drives the minivan through the gates, up the grand driveway.  The dorms for the college were built at a separate location down the main thoroughfare.

Ino shrugs.  “They have all kinds of events that go on at night.  I don’t know.”

“At least we know we’re not trespassing if the school’s open.”  Hinata’s soft voice comes over the back seat.  

“I still can’t believe we actually talked you into coming with us!” Ino teases.

Sakura laughs, “We’re having a bad influence on her!”

Hinata shakes her head.  “Actually, I’m amazed that Naruto-kun is here,” she shyly replies.

Sasuke lets out a quiet laugh.  “Doesn’t mean he won’t shit himself if we find a ghost.” 

“Okay!, no!, I won’t shit myself, alright?” he immediately defends.  “...I might just scream a little, but I won’t poop my pants…”  He’s already in a protective stance, arms crossed, back hunched a little.  

Everyone laughs at him, but Hinata takes his hand, smiling half-amusedly, half to comfort him.  “I’ll protect you, Naruto-kun.”

That only makes everyone laugh harder as Naruto sinks into himself in embarrassment.

Despite Ino’s school being open, the parking lot is somewhat empty save for a few cars.  The buildings are magnificent in design, echoing back to an era when arched entryways and stucco were favored over walls of glass.  The hum of cicadas pierce through the still, late summer air.  

The small group of friends silently follow Ino back toward the driveway of the school with only yellowed street lamps lighting the dark sidewalks.  They cross into the street, stopping right in the middle at the fancy traffic meridian.  It’s an odd decorative aspect of the driveway they passed on the way up.  It’s right in the middle of the street, separating the in and out lanes, somewhat built-up and rounded with a grassy patch and flowering bushes planted high on top.  It really only serves to make the school look expensive.

Ino smiles, then whispers, “Put your hand here on the wall.”

“Why?” Sakura asks, also in a whisper.  

“Just feel it.”  

They do, all of them placing their hands on the wall, waiting for something to happen.

“You see how the plaster is kind of rough over there?” she asks.

They nod, their fingers dragging over the rushed job.

“...This is an ancient burial ground,” Ino explains in a hushed tone.

Their hands spring off of the wall, their fingers wide in stress at what they were just touching.

“Ino, what the fuck?!” Naruto hisses, barely containing his volume, his legs already carrying him away from the meridian and onto the side of the street. 

Sakura stares at her hand wide-eyed.  “Oh my gosh, we’re all cursed,” she laments.  She can practically feel the spiritual energy twisting around her fingers. 

Ino snickers.  “That’s what my course major senpais did to me.”

Sasuke and Hinata are silently trailing after Naruto with abject horror on their faces.  Hinata fists her hand uncomfortably against her skirt.  

Once they’re all gathered safely away from the meridian, Ino continues to explain.  “When they were constructing, they found the remains of the ancient natives.”

“So they just built that random thing in the middle of the street to house the bones and then continued on their merry way?” Naruto asks for clarification.

Ino nods.  “After they found them, they built that wall around the burial ground, and apparently they were in a hurry to cover it back up.  They just made the driveway go around it.”

They stand there, staring at the burial ground, picturing the bones just on the other side of the wall they touched, below the grass and bushes.  

“Did you have to make us touch it, though,” Hinata asks, regretfully, with a really sad frown.

“The spirits of the ancient warriors are going to find me and kill me in the dead of the night,” Naruto states, as if it’s already fact.

Ino brushes his paranoia off.  “We’ll, I’m still here, aren’t I?”  

“Note to all of us--don’t do anything Ino tells us to do,” Sasuke says.

Ino gives him a very evil smile.  “That’s not all there is to this place.”

“Why...why am I doing this…” Naruto asks to no one in particular.

She leads them deeper into the center of the school, where a large tree spreads its thick limbs over a beautiful cobbled courtyard.  A simple fountain beneath the tree spouts water, and pennies shine beneath the surface of the circular pool.  The gurgle of the water as it falls is relaxing, serene in the quiet of the night.

“Wow, this is nice,” Sakura says, looking around at the manicured gardens surrounding the courtyard.  

Ino nods.  “A girl hung herself here.”

They turn their attention to the blonde.  Suddenly, the peace of the courtyard feels like an ill omen.

She tilts her head at the large tree.  “They say that when this used to be a mental hospital, a girl got away from her caretakers.  She was found hanging from this tree.”  

They frown at the branches, wondering which one the girl chose.

Ino gestures to steps that lead to an academic building.  “They said that at night, you could see her ghost walking and talking to herself in the corridors, always bringing herself to this tree.  Someone suggested to the school that they build this fountain here to give rest to her spirit.”

“So no one sees her ghost anymore?” Sakura asks. 

Ino shrugs.  “I guess we’ll find out…”

“What?”  Naruto scrunches a face of distaste.

“Let’s go,” Ino invites.  

“Go where…” he whines quietly.

Ino takes the disturbed group down the steps to the building.  “Hm, I wonder if it’s open…”  She pulls the handle.

The door opens.

“Whyyyy is it open…” Naruto groans.

“But actually, though, why,” Sakura states.

“Maybe the teachers are still here?” Hinata suggests.

Ino laughs.  “Psh, what college professor cares that much about their job?”  She holds the door open, inviting them into the building.  “Welcome to the language arts hall.”  

The corridor lights are all on, assuring them that the building is, indeed, open.

They enter the hallway.  Naruto lags behind.  When the door shuts, he opens it again.  “I’m just making sure…”  He tests the handle a couple more times before closing it.  Then he tests it once more for good measure.

“You satisfied?” Sasuke asks.

“I’m just making sure,” he repeats.  

Hinata frowns, imagining the door locking them in while they’re inside the building.  

Naruto’s paranoia is only making things worse.

Ino starts ahead of them, and Naruto has to rush to catch up.  “Wait for me!”

“SHHHH!!” Sakura scolds, finger to her lips.

They stand there, noticing how her shush seems to echo in the hallway.

“This place is really creepy,” Hinata comments quietly.

Ino shrugs.  “Only at night.  I had classes in this building in my first year.” 

“So this place used to be part of the mental hospital?” Sasuke asks.  

“Yeah,” Ino affirms.  She brings them to a classroom.  “You see how there’s this little window that you can use to look inside?”  

They nod, taking turns peeking into one of the dark classrooms.  It’s a normal room with normal desks.

“All of the rooms have this hallway window, you see?  It was so that the nurses could check on the patients.”

“Oh gods,” Naruto mutters.

-------------------------------------THAT’S IT

College Ballet AU, Naruto sees a different side of his quietly reserved friend.

It wasn’t a trick. 

Winter had dragged its sharp claws across the ground as long as it could, but finally, finally, three seasonal false-starts and numerous wilted, early-blooming daffodils later, 

Spring had finally decided to stay for good.

Trees bloomed pastel pinks instead of icy white.  New hopefuls popped out of the wet dirt, ready to face the sun.  Birds were suddenly a real thing again.  

Students strolled across the college campus in shorts and light sweaters, eager to shed the winter coats they had worn for six straight months.

And most importantly…

“The forecast is in the high 50s all week!” Ino announced as she pranced into the room, swinging her dance bag to the floor.

“Oh!!  Remember last spring we had class outside?” Sakura asked, turning her attention to their ballet instructor.

“Can we have class outside, Kurenai?” Ino pleaded, eyes wide in hope.

“Hm, the weather is nice today.  I suppose it is a shame to stay indoors on an afternoon like this,” she considered aloud.

Hinata listened with alarm.  She had never danced outside before, never in her 14 years of dancing.  Yes, she had danced on stage before, had performed in front of many strangers before, but still...  Everyone will see us, she worried.  

“I didn’t bring my speakers today, though,” Kurenai continued.

Before Hinata could feel any relief, Tenten pulled out her tech from her bag.  “You can bluetooth your phone to mine!”  

“Awesome, Tenten!” Sakura exclaimed.

“Oh, please, Kurenai?  Can we have class outside?” the other girls begged.

Hinata already knew her fate.  She was going to have to wear her body-conforming leotard and tights in front of the entire student body.  Nevermind the fact that the last time she had gone barefoot on grass was in elementary school.

They all picked up their belongings and made the quick trip to the center lawn.

As she predicted, many students who were already finished with their classes for the day were enjoying the afternoon weather, laying out in the grass reading or playing frisbee.  

And here they were, in their leotards and tights, about to have their whole ballet practice for all to see.  

“There’s so many people,” she whispered in embarrassment to Sakura.  

The pinkette looked at Hinata in confusion, then sympathy.  “Don’t worry.  Just relax and enjoy the sunshine!  It’s a lot of fun to dance outside.  It feels like…”  Sakura glanced up in thought.  “...Like freedom.  Or like...nature!”

Hinata took a deep breath and nodded.  She slipped off her sandals and lined up with everyone to begin their barre exercises...without a barre.  She spread her toes open to first position and settled her arms and hands into en bas.  

Already she could see curious onlookers watching them, and she could only thank the god above that they were having class in a corner of the field, and not front and center.  

Kurenai glanced over her dancers, noting their prepared positions.  She rattled off the instructions for their plie routine before setting up the speaker and scrolling through her phone’s music menu.

Familiar piano music rose into the air.  

More students glanced around.

Hinata tried not to think that all of their eyes were on her.  Because she knew, logically, that they weren’t all watching only her, but her heart just hadn’t been prepared for this sudden public display.

Eventually, with the right side completed and the combination repeated on the left side, Hinata began to feel less tense.

The students lazing on the lawn returned to their own devices, and only passersby watched as they headed to their destinations.  

She fell into the muscle memory of the exercises, and her focus turned inward on the flow of her arms with the music, of the dart of her toes with the beat, and the alignment of her body.  

It was like Sakura said.  There was a certain freedom she had never felt before in dancing barefoot in the grass under the Spring sun, turning, leaping, and reaching into the fresh air.  

[loverboytrashmouth]

Of Macchiatos and Nicknames (pt 1)

pairing; Reddie

word count; 1.6k

summary; Eddie doesn’t mind studying at the coffee shop as much as he thought he would.

a/n; part one of two of a little coffee shop meet cute because meet cutes are my fav and also i’m a barista so i think about this kinda au a lot. also read on ao3 if you’d like! enjoy :)

--

Eddie didn’t even like coffee that much. He’d really only drink it when he needed the caffeine to get him through a long night of studying. He hardly ever visited the campus coffee shop, and if he did it was because Bill would drag him out of bed earlier than necessary to make a stop there before their 8AM lectures. 

It wasn’t until one afternoon during midterms that Eddie began spending most of his free afternoons at the coffee shop.

It was a particularly windy October day, so Bill and Eddie decided they’d trade their usual study spot outside on their university’s great lawn area for the cozy coffee shop right on the outskirts of the main campus . Eddie couldn’t stand studying there; it was constantly full of loud students who would call themselves “study groups” when really it was just an excuse for them to drink their lattes and goof off. He had tried to convince Bill that they could just go to the library or back to their room, but Bill insisted he absolutely needed coffee, blaming it on his lack of sleep the night before.

“Just get me anything, I don’t care. I’m gonna get us a table,” Eddie said to Bill once they entered, already beginning to walk towards the mid-sized seating area. Bill gripped his upper arm and pulled him back.

“Definitely n-not. I’ll be h-halfway done my drink before you finish your dis-disinfecting routine,” Bill chuckled, earning a glare from Eddie. “I’ll go s-sit. You know my order. I promise, I’ll wuh-wipe down the table with the utmost c-care.” Eddie sighed in defeat, rolling his eyes at his friend’s teasing and lightly shoving him towards the seats. The shorter boy turned around towards the menu hanging on the wall, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to drink. His thoughts were interrupted by a voice coming from behind the counter.

“What’s your poison, ol’ chap,” it asked in a very obviously fake British accent. Eddie’s gaze trailed down to where the voice came from and his breath involuntarily hitched in his throat at the sight of the guy behind the register. He had disheveled curly black hair that contrasted - very nicely, Eddie noted - against his pale skin. He was tall, Eddie not needing to move his neck much from the position it was in to see the menu to look him in the eyes. The barista’s eyes, Eddie noted, were insanely large behind the thickly rimmed glasses that framed his face, but somehow he made them look good. Eddie’s eyes flicked down to the barista’s sharp jawline covered in messy stubble, his slightly chapped lips in a playful smirk.

“You gonna order something shortie, or are ya gonna just keep undressing me with your eyes,” the barista asked in his normal voice, the smirk never leaving his face. Eddie snapped out of his trance, feeling his face immediately heat up.

“Am I short or are you just freakishly tall,” Eddie shot back, his voice dripping with offense but he knew the color on his cheeks told the barista that he definitely had no ill feelings towards him. The taller boy shrugged.

“Tomayto tomahto, pretty boy,” he said with a wink. “Seriously though, whatcha havin’? It’s my duty to know.”

Eddie huffed out a chuckled at him and shook his head, before it dawned on him that he barely knew anything about coffee. Sure, he knew Bill’s order was called a “caramel macchiato,” but what if he said the fancy names of the sizes wrong and embarrassed himself? He was already anxious enough about ordering in the first place, customer service interactions being one of his least favorite things (he’s so glad his work study is in the library, stacking books with little to no human interaction). It didn’t help that the stupidly tall - and cute - barista was full force hitting on him like his life depended on making Eddie blush.

“Um, two mediu- no, grande, right. Two grande caramel macchiatos please,” Eddie finally decided after a few short beats of silence, mentally kicking himself when he realized what he said, because he hates caramel macchiatos. The barista tapped out his order on the register, taking a couple glances at Eddie as he did so.

“Alrighty, you got it. And what’s your name?” Eddie furrowed his eyebrows at this question, taken slightly aback even though it was no secret the barista had been flirting with him this entire conversation. The latter must have noticed Eddie’s confused reaction, as he clarified with a chuckle, “So we can call it out to let you know your order is ready.”

“Oh, right,” Eddie laughed, his cheeks heating up once more, this time more of embarrassment at his misunderstanding of the question’s intentions. He reached a shaky hand to the back of his neck, rubbing nervously as he answered. “It’s Eddie.”

The barista nodded his head, his grin growing wider as he typed Eddie’s name into the machine. Eddie began pulling cash out of his fanny pack when the barista interrupted his movements with his voice.

“Don’t worry about that, Eds. They’re on the house today.” Eddie tilted his head ever so slightly, his furrowed eyebrows returning once more.

“Did- did you just call me ‘Eds’,” he asked, receiving only a simple nod from the taller boy. “How’s it fair I have a nickname already when I don’t even know your real name?” The barista smirked that shit-eating smirk again, holding a hand out towards the smaller boy.

“Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier, at your service.” Eddie placed his own hand into Richie’s, the roughness of his dry skin making Eddie’s skin crawl, but in a good way.

“Nice to meet you, Rich,” Eddie replied with a smirk of his own, his eyebrows slightly raised. “Thanks for the coffees.”

“Anything for you, Eddie baby.” Another wink. God, Eddie’s face was so hot he thought he could probably fry an egg on it.

Eddie couldn’t hide the blush on his cheeks or the dumb smile that refused to leave his mouth as he walked over to the table Bill had chosen to set up study camp at. Bill watched as the smaller boy sat across from him and began placing books on the table, attempting to cover his smile with his arm.

“Wuh-wow, Eddie. I haven’t seen you blush like that since our s-sex ed course in high school,” Bill teased with a slight laugh. Eddie’s face heated up even more at the memory, as well as the fact that he’d been caught basically swooning over Richie.

“Shut it, Bill. You got those notes I missed when I was sick?” Despite Eddie’s attempt to change the subject matter, Bill pressed on.

“It was the barista, wuh-wasn’t it? I could s-see the way he was looking at you from all the way over-”

“Wait, how was he looking at me,” Eddie interrupted without thinking, his eyes full of hope. Bill laughed some more at his eagerness.

“Y-You’re kidding, right? I’m s-surprised he didn’t jump over the counter and attack you into a m-makeout session right then and there.” Eddie’s eyes widened at Bill, before glancing over his shoulder to look at the barista again as he was making their drinks. He must’ve felt eyes on him, because not even five seconds after Eddie turned his head, Richie looked up from the espresso machine he was working with and the two locked eyes. Eddie immediately snapped his head back around, but not before noticing the smirk that returned to Richie’s lips. Bill shot him a knowing look.

“Okay, he flirted with me hardcore and yes he’s absolutely my type but if I don’t study for this midterm I won’t be able to think about him with calc on the brain 24/7. Notes, please,” Eddie spat out at high speed, a habit he had since he was a preteen that occurred whenever he got flustered.

Bill passed the page of math notes over with an eyebrow wiggle, but Eddie didn’t get a chance to even glance at them before hearing an obnoxiously loud voice behind him call out, “ORDER UP FOR A SIR EDDIE SPAGHETTI.” Eddie mentally facepalmed at the nickname usage before getting up and walking back to the counter.

“Really? Eddie Spaghetti?” Eddie couldn’t resist the laugh in his voice or fond smile as he shook his head at Richie. Richie, in return, held the coffees out to him, and shrugged his shoulders with a grin.

“Cute nickname for a cute boy,” he commented casually. Eddie couldn’t believe how smooth this thick-glasses wearing, awkwardly lanky dude could be, especially when he felt as though he could burst with every sentence uttered by said thick-glasses wearing, awkwardly lanky dude.

“So, uh,” Richie started once Eddie had taken the coffee cups from his hands, their fingers brushing lightly and lingering a bit too long. Eddie noticed his ever so slight change in demeanor, leaving bold and flirty and inching more towards reserved and… nervous? “Can I expect to see you around here again any time soon?”

The sincerity Eddie heard Richie speak within that sentence made his heart flutter, as well as whatever anxieties he still felt in his stomach to slowly dissipate. With that statement Eddie realized he wasn’t just aimlessly being flirted with, but that this could actually, maybe, mean something a little more?

“You sure can, Trashmouth,” Eddie replied with a warm look in his eyes. Richie perked up at the nickname, his cheeks going pink as Eddie walked back to his table.

“Dude, I thought you hated caramel m-macchiatos,” Bill commented when he saw the identical coffees his friend was holding, but Eddie barely heard him. He was too busy stealing glances back at the barista.

[maxxfields]

sober nights and traffic lights

Max would never consider himself mentally ill. He also would never tell anyone he had anxiety. But all the bullshit he went through as a child, it isn't shocking to know that he does. Through the years he’d always kept it on the downlow and never made a big deal of it. Ignoring it himself most of the time. And he got pretty good at it. Until recently. Having his first panic attack in years was so foreign to him. He didn't know how to cope with it nor did he ever remember feeling like this. What is the word that describes feeling too much and nothing at the same time? Being a professional writer it infuriated Max that he didn’t know what that word was. Whatever it was, that is how he felt right now. Numbness and exhilaration? He didn't know how he was feeling both at the same time, it was like a dream and a nightmare. There was also a very high chance it was both of those anyway because the events that had happened over the last couple days could not be real.

He had slept with Gabby Hunter.

Gabby and him had slept together.

He had spent the last 3 days living every moment of that night over and over wondering how it happened and thinking it probably won't ever happen again. Normally Max was the kind of guy to sleep with a girl once and never call. But this time he couldn't be that guy. He didn't want to be that guy. But here he was 3 days later, being that guy.

The morning after he ran away from her, he felt completely debilitated. After getting home the fire in his lungs had not dwindled. It was so painful for him and so overwhelming he almost went to the ER. But Max knew they'd never take him seriously. There was nothing wrong with him other than wanting to not think about real things. Forcing himself to take some meds, Max went straight to bed.

He awoke in the late afternoon to a voicemail and a text. He looked at the messages on his phone for a minute before listening to the voicemail. She seemed hesitant and quiet. It made him feel a little relieved and guilty at the same time. Today was really too many emotions for him after spending most of his adult life not thinking about any.

“....You’re my best friend…” those were the last words he heard before his brain started to fail him again. After everything he was not thinking about and hoping for the last few months vanished again. She had called just to make sure they were okay, that they were still friends. Somehow in this moment he felt like he was in high school again getting crushed by the girl of his dreams. And there they were again another roadblock. This time he felt so much for her and she didn't feel that way for him. All Max wanted to do was disappear. And with that thought, his body moved into action before his mind was made up.

3 hours later he was on the highway in his car with a suitcase thrown together. He honestly didn't know where he was going, what he was doing, how much clothes he packed, or how long he was planning on going. He just knew he needed to not be in that house. Those weren't the sheets made dirty by them, but he still felt it somehow.

The first night he ended up at the border of California and Oregon around midnight and decided to pull over. He spent most of the time listening to news podcasts and yelling at some of the interns from his office. Just because he was taking an unexplained sabbatical didn't mean that the world stopped and news didn't need to be told. It was nice to have an outlet for a while but still not be in the office or in the city. During his drive he started to think about his mental health and how he had gotten to this point. He remembered as a child wanting to have his parents approval so bad he morphed into something he wasn’t, and then he remembered in high school having the girl of his dreams completely break him senior year right before they were suppose to start their new lives at college together.

All of those things turned Max into the man he is today. He ran away to college in a different state, took a last minute slot in a shitty dorm at one of his safety schools instead of going where he and his parents had originally planned. And with that new start, he closed all the doors to his past behind him. Inventing the stone cold asshole he was now, and not allowing anyone to break the cracks. Yet he had allowed someone to do just that, multiple times now. And everytime he swore this would be the last time he left her in, and yet that stupid redhead kept charming her way into his life and into more than just that.

The events of last night started washing over him, from the party all the way to being in Gabby’s bed and it was starting to make the panic in him rise again. Finding one of the shittest motels on the side of the road, Max called it a night. Knowing he probably could have driven 20 more minutes into an actual city to find a nicer hotel he could afford, the man didn’t care about luxury right now. He just wanted to take a shower, rinse off all the thoughts he had and be unconscious.

In the morning, he awoke feeling very out of place, and maybe it was cause he didn’t have a routine. Since the day he went off to college and reinvented himself, he had always been a man with a routine and a workaholic. Therefore, waking up in a strange place was very weird to him and he started to get antsy and anxious that he wasn’t going into work today. After sitting with himself for a few minutes remembering why he was here and why he needed to runaway from things he felt a little better, but he still wanted to be productive. He checked out of the hotel and went driving around the closest town he could find. It was still very early in the morning, since he was in the habit of waking up before the day really began to go to work. But the man did find a cute coffee shop with several newspaper stands in front ot it. He paid for a small breakfast and grabbed a couple of the papers to read and stay in tune with the world for a bit. Sitting in that shop for a couple of hours he had a moment to write an article. It was definitely not something he would ever publish but it helped him clear his mind a little more. The article was based on an event several of the local papers he had grabbed had covered, but he felt that each article didn’t tell the whole story, and it infuriated him that an editor would allow something like this to be published. So in the name of journalism and in the name of calming his nerves, he wrote a better article for them. Reflecting on the piece of news he had finished writing by hand, he realized that it had been a few years since he had actually written anything. And he didn’t realize how much he had enjoyed it.

When he ran away to college, he decided he was going to throw his entire future plan to the wind. No more law school like his father wanted, he was going to figure out what he wanted. His freshman year at UCLA, he took a bunch of classes that he would never have thought to take, and ended up getting really good grades in a bunch of writing classes and history classes, especially the one he took that was specifically about Al Capone. When it came time for him to pick a major, he decided he wanted to pursue writing, but he wasn’t into the thought of writing fiction crap or picking a career that would be useless. Therefore he settled on journalism, it attracted to both parts of the things he was good at, and allowed him to have a job once he graduated. During the years after his undergraduate education, he worked at various news rooms, stations, and other publications while also getting his Master’s in editora journalism. Which is how he landed the pretty rough and prestigious job he had now. But being an editor and in charge of a paper, didn’t allow him much time to enjoy the things he once did. And through his adult life he focused more on things outside work to numb himself like he had for years. College had definitely instilled a lifestyle of booze, sex, and work for him. One that he had maintained for years.

It wasn’t until after Gabby left that he realized how broken he really was. He started going to therapy during that time, and faced some demons. And even though he was better mentally and was able to work through stuff. He still had anger management issues and was always a stressed out individual. It wasn’t until this moment, sitting in a coffee shop hours away from his home and his job that he realized how much of him he had pushed away. How much he didn’t let himself feel, enjoy, or think about. Therapy only helped him through some, but it was not his time to do the work and make himself a better person. One that wouldn’t fall apart just cause one girl in his life wanted to stay friends with him even though he wanted more.

Midway through the day, he had walked through some of the shops around the little town and was starting to feel antsy again. Even though he kept telling himself he deserved a vacation and needed to take this time off, he couldn’t. Not right now. Relaxation for himself was definitely going to be a priority, but he couldn’t change who he was, and that was a planner. Getting back in his car and driving south again, he promised himself he would go on a proper vacation this year. Actually take some time off, plan something, and pack with purpose.

As he climbed back into the car, he pulled out his phone for the first time all day to set up directions and pick out which podcast he was going to listen to when he saw them. Multiple messages from Gabby.

Fuck.

She wasn’t going to be the girl who demanded more after a one night stand? She wanted to try to be something more than a one night stand?

Damn it.

The man had fucked up again. This was the second time in less than 3 days he found himself racing to her house to apologize. What was he even gonna say or do that would make this better? Was she gonna accept his apology and allow them to figure this out? Did she really want more than friendship between them? So many questions were running through his mind right now and none of them had answers.

Turning off the radio completely, Max drove the 8 hours back to San Francisco in complete silence. Finally allowing himself to think about all his feelings, hers, and what the hell it all meant.

As he got closer to the city limits he got more and more groggy, it almost being midnight again. The man was not a night owl and this was now the 3rd night in a row he was not in bed before what was technically the day after he woke up. More than anything he wanted to go to Gabby, but he knew if he went now he’d just end up upsetting her. This time he wasn't gonna to go over there to get yelled at, fuck, then leave. He wanted to go over and talk. Persuading himself to go home and get some rest he’d come back in the morning.

And like an idiot he did just that, completely ignoring his phone and the angry messages it received while he was driving.

Awaking him again, a little later than his usual alarm, he realized how tired his body actually was. And how much it needed that sleep. Because he felt anew now. Clear. Ready to have the hard conversations.

This time it really did feel different. He felt ready. He felt almost relaxed. He was about to go get his girl. And with that mentality he went and showered, put on a nice outfit, drove to a flower shop and a coffee shop before heading to her place.

He knew Red would be pissed at him at first. But he was hoping they could talk through their stupidity and move past it all. Past these few days. Past these few years even.

When he got to her place and knocked on the door no one answered. He should have figured she was at work, but he kind of assumed knowing she'd be stewing at home alone with a glass of wine. Thinking maybe she went out to get food or something he stood around for a little while wanting to be there when she got back.

After 30 minutes he got a call from an unknown number. Without even thinking, since most of his employees had his phone number and he rarely saved any of theirs. He answered.

[tams-writeblr]

Once I’m gone

Rating: M(ature)

Warnings: major character death

Category: F/M (main couple), Multi (side characters)

Fandom: Attack on Titan / Shingeki no Kyojin

Relationship: Mikasa Ackermann / Eren Jaeger | various side couples

Characters: Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackermann, Armin Arlelt, Zeke Jaeger, Hange Zoe, Floch Forster, Ymir, Reiner Braun, Pieck Finger, Historia Reiss, several others will make a cameo

Additional Tags: Modern AU | established relationship | toxic behaviour | Eren suffers from Huntington’s disease and tries to settle his matters before he dies | suicial blockhead Eren | aged up characters (by ten years) | suicide tw | depression tw | mental diseases tw | deathly diseases tw | this is clearly not write what you know, but I’m giving my very best to representate the topics as good as I can | this all basically came to me as a fever dream | you remember Thirteen from House, M.D.? I still have a huge crush on her so this version of Eren is greatly inspired by her <3

Language: English (not native, I’m trying my best you guys)

Stats: ongoing - Chapter 1/15 - Part 2/4 - 1507 of 3652 words

Summary: Eren Jaeger knew for years that he inherited Huntington’s disease from his late mother. When he first notices symptoms on him, his long protected plan, to end his life before reaching the critical state of his illness,  awakes. But there is still Mikasa, his girlfriend and the only person in the world he cares about more than about himself, and he can’t leave her alone and grieving. It’s time to find a substitute for when Eren is gone. With the help of a new friend Eren tries to scare away Mikasa while driving her into the arms of someone new.

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Charlatans and Pills - Part 2/4

<<previous

“Hey Mama”, the small, dark haired boy said and pulled his hand towards the woman that sat sunk down on an uncomfortable looking chair.

She didn’t directly look at him, only giving his pulled out hand a small, arbitrary glance and looked up towards the man, standing behind Eren.

“But Carla, Dear”, Eren's father said with a cheerful tone. “Shake at least our Eren’s hand. Aren’t you happy that we are visiting you?”

A thin lipped smile crawled over Carla’s face and her light brown eyes finally found Eren’s glance. “Eren”, she sighed recognizing and rather than just taking his hand, she slipped down her chair and tightly hugged him.

Tighter than Eren would have liked it. He looked up to his father, seeking help, insecure how to behave. She still was his mother, the one that always loved him and guessed every wish from his eyes.

Eren had found out that she was sick, three years ago. Back then they also told him, he eventually would get the same sickness. She often dropped things and so she did on his eleventh birthday with a knife to cut his cake. It fell right on her foot and she had to go to the hospital. After this incident, she never returned to her old self. She behaved strangely ever so often, screaming at his dad for obviously no reason.

But the strangest was when Eren came home from school one day. His father was still at work, he had a small practice in the middle of town, and usually a delicious lunch was waiting for him when he returned home from school. But on this day nothing smelled nice through the house, on the contrary it stank horribly of burned food and everything was full with smoke. Eren found his mother in the upstairs bathroom, her hands were dripping with blood, he had found shards in the kitchen.

“What do you want?”, his mother screamed and held her blood stained hands in front of her face. “Get out! I have to hide from the smoke!”

Puzzled Eren neared his mother. “But Mama, you have to turn off the oven or else whatever's on there will burn even more. Did you cut yourself? Do you need a bandaid?”

“Get our!”, Carla yelled again. “Who the hell are you, how did you get into my house?”

Helpless tears wobbled out of big, green child’s eyes. “Mama”, he whined and ducked away under a roll of toilet paper his mother threw at him. Desperately the boy backed out of the bathroom and ran back to the kitchen where he pulled all knobs of the oven until the red control light went off, then he remembered what his father always had hammered inside his little head: to call him at work, when something was wrong with Mum.

“The number is pinned on the fridge”, he had told him again and again. “I’ll be with you within 15 minutes.” If not at this moment, when should he bother his father at work? Quickly the boy looked for the phone around the smoke filled house, luckily he found it in the living room and not like so often in his parents bedroom. He wouldn’t have dared to walk past the upper bathroom in which he still suspected his mother.

His father indeed arrived within minutes. He found Carla beneath the toilet, sunk down and asleep and immediately called an ambulance. “I’m so sorry”, he murmured again and again while pressing the sobbing and crying Eren against him. “You’ll never have to be alone with her again. Everything will be alright.”

His mother didn’t return home after this incident. His father explained to him that she would now live somewhere, where people could look after her more appropriately. There no knife would fall on her food ever again and she wouldn’t burn any more pans.

But Eren found the place where they brought her simply terrifying. There were only old people. Not old people like his father but really old, probably older than his grandparents. It always smelled strangely and scary sounds came from some chambers.

Eren curled out of his mother’s embrace and his father came to help him.

“There, there Carla, not so fiercely”, he laughed and directed her gently back towards her chair. Then he took place across from her and placed a hand on her knee. “Well my Dear, how are you feeling today?”

Carla looked at him for a long time with a stoic face. At that her left arm twitched permanently. It hit against her thigh and the seating of the chair.

Eren watched the movement hypnotized and flinched when his mother took a deep, loud breath.

“Grisha”, she said with unmistakable joy in her voice. her twitching arm raised and her hand landed accurately on her husband’s. A smile crept towards her lips. “My Dear…” Suddenly she was once again his mother, the pretty woman with light brown eyes and dark hair, sun kissed skin and the most beautiful smile in the world.

Eren felt lighter than before and placed his small child’s hand above his mother’s. She only looked at him briefly, out of the corner of her eyes, before taxing Grisha again. The three of them stayed like this for a while in total silence. Only a far away, old and male voice asked when it was finally time for dinner.

The clearing of a throat crushed the family idly and Eren and his mother heavily flinched.

Carla’s head shot high to look at the creator of the noice’s face. Her own one suddenly started to twitch wildly.

“Mr. Jäger, can I please talk to you for a moment?”, a man in a white coat said. From his father Eren knew that doctors dressed like that.

Grisha got up and agreed with a dark look on his face. “Eren, sit down for so long. I’ll be right back.”

“You are a doctor?”, Eren heard the other man ask when he walked away with his father. The latter didn’t answer, maybe he had only nodded. “Then you must know about the condition your wife is in.”

Eren couldn’t hear more from the conversation. But from the look on his mother’s face, he could tell that her glance followed them.

He didn’t want to turn out like her. What was that for a life? Eren still couldn’t quite understand what was wrong with his mother, but he knew she always forgot things, sometimes even him or his father and that she always flapped around her arms. He didn’t want that, especially not the thing with forgetting. Carefully he took her hand between both of his. “I’m not gonna forget you, Mama”, he said tenderly and patted her hand that was gaunt and wiry. “I promise.”

Carla looked at her boy dumbfounded before pulling her eyebrows into a painful grimace. “Oh Eren, my little baby,” she cried and thick tears wobbled out of her eyes. Fragile and smaller as he remembered her she sat on that horribly uncomfortable chair, her hand between the small palms of her son.

Scared by her sudden burst of emotion Eren pulled his hands away. Two faces, so similar to each other that everyone would see their connection, looked at each other with a mixture of horror and hurt.

When his father returned, Eren asked him to leave.

“Come back soon!”, he heard his mother say softly when Grisha leaned down to her and kissed her.

He promised they would, of course he did. And of course they kept their promise. Eren couldn’t say how many hours of his youth he had spent in that foster home that cared for his mother. The doctors and nurses there did a wonderful job, they deeply cared for his mother, who visibly crumpled infront of her small family’s eyes. She got thinner and thinner and ever more erratic. Until she neither recognized Grisha nor Eren. Sometimes she remembered to have a son called Eren but in her memory he was still a ten-years-old that had broken his arm while wrestling with his friends. That the handsome young man infront of her was her small Eren, she wouldn’t get the idea despite their striking resemblance.

Finally her spasticies became so bad that it became too dangerous to let her eat solid food and she got a feeding tube. From this moment on, things went continuously down hill for Carla Jäger, whose husband was a doctor himself who slowly broke down by looking at her.

Almost exactly ten years after moving to the foster home and a little over 13 years after her diagnosis Carla died on a stormy fall evening. She hadn’t seen her son in four month, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

But losing his mother had broken something deep inside of Eren. Now a full grown man, he knew which fate his mother had handed down to him. But he also knew back than, how he would be reacting towards it, when his time came.

                                                                               >>next

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Author’s Note: Hey, thank you for coming back to me! I hope you don’t mind when long flashbacks like this are all in Italics, I know they can be hard to read. Just for Context: Carla was 30 when she had Eren in this story and she dies at 51. Can’t have a main character without a tragic family backstory, can we? See you for the next part!

[thisfoolwrites]

My World

Hello everyone and welcome to my new story. Based VERY LOOSLY on Shameless because I only saw one clip and it gave my inspiration. {Sorry for the crappy title I’m not that creative Dx} Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu or Shameless Character: Hajime Iwaizumi Genre: Angst with fluff Warnings: None for this chapter

Mornings in the {L/N} household were usually calm and organized. Yuki and Shouta would be dressed for school and and {Y/N} would have had breakfast ready to go. Usually. Today was not that day. A certain older sibling had forgotten to set an alarm, causing the usually calm mornings to erupt into pure and utter chaos. “YUKI, SHOUTA lets go!” {Y/N} Hollered up the stairs. She clicked her tongue as she got their backpacks together. Slipping the bentos that she had made up last night. She was about to holler again when two sets of footsteps came down the stairs. She let out a sigh of relief as she slipped jackets onto the smaller kids. “No breakfast today?” Yuki's blue eyes bore into her older sisters eyes. This question was not said with any ill intent, but out of childlike curiosity. {Y/N} felt her heart break at the question and just shook her head. “Not today baby, but I promise tomorrow I will wake up bright and early and make you your favorites ok?” Earning a nod of approval from both kids. “Now, were all running late and all I have right now are pop tarts. I'm really sorry guys.” Handing them each a package she made a mental note to buy more just in case. After ushering both kids out of the house and on their way to the school she ran back inside to get her purse and work jacket. In her attempt to lock the door quickly she dropped the keys. As she was leaning down to get them her phone rang. She groaned and answered without looking. “Hello?” she grumbled into the phone. Hoping whoever it was on the other end could sense her frustrations. “That's not very friendly {Y/N}-Chan. And here I was calling to give you good news.” She froze hearing that voice. Almost breaking into tears. “I'm running late for work ShittyKawa, better make it fast.” came her snarky reply, hoping that he didn't hear the break in her voice. She looked at her watch and began to make her way to the train station. Running was no longer an option and she hoped she didn't get fired. Not that she was usually late, but that was always her fear. “Ignoring the out of pocket behavior from you,” So he did notice, she thought, “Me and Iwa-chan will be coming home for a little bit. He’s out of school for spring break, and the team gave us a month vacation!” He finished with a huge smile on his face. She couldn't help but smile. She missed her boys so much. “You both get to buy me lunch for leaving me!” she decided. “For all my pain and suffering.” “Says you Miss Tokyo U!” he laughed along with her. Upon hearing those the weight of everything came crashing back down. “Anyway 'Kawa, I am late for work so I gotta get off. Love and miss you both!” She said and hung up without waiting for a reply. Once on the train she let her thoughts take over. She knew that he would be worried, because her behavior was indeed off, but how was she supposed to tell him that she didn't go to Tokyo U and was taking online classes at night from a local community college? How was she supposed to tell her best friend and boyfriend that her mother up and left leaving her two kid siblings in her care? Sitting down on the seat she glanced out the window. “How do I tell you my life fell apart when yours just began?” She whispered. Hearing her phone buzz she glanced back down at her lap. It was a message from Hajime's mother.

Don't worry about the kids. I'll make sure they come here after school. Take care of yourself as well {Y/N}. She owed that woman so much, and she fully intended to pay her and her husband back.

Oikawa starred at his phone. There was something in the way that she spoke to him. He sighed and closed his eyes. Before he could even form a thought the smell of coffee was right in his face. Opening his eyes he noticed his best friend with two cups. “You are the best Iwa-Chan!” she grinned taking the cup from him. “Yeah yeah. Did you tell her?” Iwaizumi asked him. Oikawa just nodded at him. Before freezing up. “Whats that look for Shittykawa?” “I may not have told her we would be home tonight?” Iwaizumi just starred at him, reminding him of high school. “Well just have to swing by Tokyo to see her tomorrow. It'll be a surprise.” He waved his hand brushing off his mistake. He was supposed to mention that but he was distracted by the break in her voice. “Iwa, have to talked to her recently?” he asked gently. “Its been a few weeks. I called her during finals week and she sounded stressed. To be honest I've been worried about her. My mom wont tell me anything besides its been stressful for her. Not sure what that means. I hope I can take away some of that stress.” Before either boy got a chance to say anything, their flight was called and they boarded the plane.

Nine o'clock rolled around and {Y/N} walked up to the Iwaizumi's door. They had always lived on the same street so it made picking up her siblings pretty easy. When she walked up the steps she didn't even have a chance to knock on the door. Mai Iwaizumi smiled at her and called for the two kids. “Thank you so much for letting them come over today. I promise I'll be off in time to be home for them tomorrow. They just-” “I've told you before its ok. Besides I love these two like my own children. Now, they have eaten so don't let them trick you, and their homework is complete.” {Y/N} Just smiled at the woman. She had always looked up to this woman, hoping one day that this could be her mother. Before the two could converse more, her two siblings barreled into her giving her a bone crushing hug. The four of them just laughed and {Y/N} waved and led the two kids home. Upon reaching their destination they all hurried inside. {Y/N} took their backpacks and sent them upstairs to change and get ready for bed. Dropping her own stuff off at the kitchen table she pulled the empty bento boxes out of the backpacks. She placed them in the sink and silently made a vow to wash them later. She headed upstairs into her own bedroom, ignoring the empty master bedroom to the right of hers. She was about to slip out of her work shirt when she heard her name being called from the room over. Heading on over she noticed both kids curled up in Shouta's bed. Smiling she headed into the room and crouched down by the bed. “Whats up guys?” she asked softly, with a gentle smile on her face. Shouta just got a wide smile on his face. “We played volleyball today in PE and the teacher said I have a talent for it. I was wondering if there was anyway I could join the volleyball club.” Shouta asked. {Y/N}'s smile dropped a bit before she  placed a hand on his head. “I know you wanna play volleyball Sho, I understand, I do. But we just cant afford it right now.” she said softly, stoking the little boys head. His smile vanished but he just nodded his head. Money had been tight and his sister was working two jobs just to pay bills and put food on the table. Shouta mumbled a goodnight before rolling over and pulling the blanket over his head. {Y/N} Sighed and picked up Yuki and took her to the girls own room. The smaller girl watched as her sister tucked her in. “Hey {N/N?}” she quietly called causing the older girl to look at her. Yuki may have been only nine years old, but she could just see the sadness in her sisters eyes. “Do you think mommy will ever come home?” {Y/N} felt her heart break. She gently smiled and rubbed the top of Yuki's head. “I don't know baby. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.” She bent down to give her a kiss on the head. “Night Yu.” she said quietly closing the door. She peeked into Shouta's room to see that he was sound asleep. She smiled softly before closing his door and heading downstairs. She sat down at the kitchen table and put her head in her hands. Some days all she wanted to do was break down and cry, but that voice in the back of her head told her to be strong. She stood up and quietly made herself some food. Taking a glance at the coffee pot she debated whether or not to make a cup. Deciding against it because of the chaos this morning she grabbed her plate and headed on up to her room to work on schoolwork. When she sat down she noticed that she had missed messages on her phone.

Haji: Hey you up? Haji: If you are awake can you call me so I can hear your voice? I miss you. Looking at the time she decided against calling him. It wasn't that she was ignoring him, she just didn't know what to say and it was getting late. After setting a few alarms on her phone, to make sure they get up on time, she quickly set off on finishing up her essay for class. It wasn't the degree she wanted but right now she couldn't be picky. She needed to get a better job to provide for her siblings. And she was determined that she was gonna do right by them, unlike their mother. She glanced at the photo beside her laptop. It was her and her dad when she was 14. How she missed him. Fate worked in cruel ways sometimes and taking her father had been the cruelest to her. She shook her head to get rid of all the sad thoughts swirling around in her head. She would have all the time in the world to mope once she finished school. Once she did that she would work on getting the kids out of Miyagi and to a place where everyone wouldn't look at them in pity. Its the kids whose mother abandoned them. She wanted a place where they wouldn't look at her in pity. She didn't want to be known as the girl who turned down a full ride scholarship to Tokyo University anymore.