#tony blamed everyone but himself for losing against thanos and i hate him even more for that!

[uhthor]

Even weirder that wanda was at tonys funeral since a stark bomb killed her parents. Btw I never understood thor's relationship with tony tbh?

LMFAO WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT WENDY...... LOOOOL yeah makes perfect sense for her to be at the funeral of the man who created the weapons that killed her parents let alone be on the same team as him and be civil with him after AoU... i don’t even like her but.... YEAH THATS NOT LOGICAL LUV!

thor and tony didn’t have a relationship. it was never explored. it was never given the time of day. and honestly for that i’m glad. all there was between them was “point break” and even that was stupid. like ha ha funny nickname but that was the extent of their relationship and they never had any sort of bond like thor does with bruce/steve. tony never gave a shit about thor either. he knew he was powerful (and i respect him for that because It’s True) and he left him alone because of that - he didn’t give any tiny bit of thought to the fact that thor was part of the team that he was also on and that he isn’t powerful and mighty all the time and he is vulnerable and has feelings. all he did in endgame was make fun of thor for being fat and depressed. made fun of his alcoholism much like rocket did which i hate. i’m glad thor has never really given a shit about tony and they’ve never really had a relationship. i honestly love that for him? thor knows tony ain’t shit and that is me speaking thru him <3

[thatswhatijustsaid]

I’ve been the best I can be [1]

part two ︱masterlist  

Description: Having been one of the ‘lucky’ half of the world that wasn’t blipped, you spent the next five years grieving the loss of your best friend and teammate, Peter Parker. When he, and your other friends return, now five years younger than you, things aren't the way they used to be, and it’s like losing them all over again.

MCU!Spiderman x Avenger!Reader (platonic)

slow burn tasm!Spiderman x Reader (not in this part, soz. It will come soon, I promise)

Gn!reader

Disclaimer: I am trying to make my fics as all inclusive as they can be. This fic will not use gendered language in regards to the reader, and I do my utter best to avoid making any other kinds of assumptions as well. If you notice any biased language, please let me know and I’ll edit it and make sure to avoid it in the future (:

Warnings: Canon typical violence, swearing, mentions of trauma, self-derogatory language. 

Word count: 2.6K

You hadn't thought being alone again would be so fucking lonely. 

Of course, in hindsight, you should have expected it, but somehow, in the rush of defeating Thanos, of getting everyone back, of seeing Peter and getting him and your friends situated again, you had let yourself get too comfortable. Afterwards, with Natasha, Stark, Clint and Steve dead or retired (and, of course, Wanda vanishing and causing a fuss), there was very little left for you within the Avengers. It made sense to retire, leave the wreckage of the compound, go back to the city and try to live like a normal person. You were in your twenties! The best time of your life.

It was so lonely. 

Post blip, you were the only one of your trio still alive. Peter was gone, Ned was gone. You were alone. Your grades suffered and you barely scratched your way through the end of your junior year. The memories that haunted the halls of Midtown High often overpowered you, and you chose more and more often to spend your time at the compound where the remnants of the team tried to make sense of what had  happened, and how they were supposed to fix it again. You didn't go back for your senior year. You moved into the compound instead, something you'd always resisted before, and helped Steve and Natasha. Clint dropped by and stayed for a little while, but then he was gone again– Natasha told you later what he had been doing. You couldn't really blame him. 

Tony was there for a while too, fortifying the compound, checking in on his tech, whatever it was he did, but by the end of the summer he was gone, and he didn't come back. You didn't hold it against him, or Barton. You didn't hate Steve either, when he started suggesting they ease up a little bit. But that wasn't an option for you, or Natasha, or him, even if he said it was. They worked tirelessly, and they were there, with you for five years. You hadn’t even been an Avenger for six months before the blip, you had barely known them as anything other than near mythical heroes that saved the world (and as criminals who destroyed it). But trauma, and grief bound you together, turned you into a family. You grew, from a scared, broken 17 year old high school dropout, into something else. 

When Peter, and the rest of them came back, you were there, a 22 year old adult.

You'd met Ned and Peter at the freshman orientation at Midtown and you three had clicked together like lego pieces. You had done everything together, you had even been in the room with Ned when Peter revealed himself as Spider-Man. 

"You're the Spider-Man.. from YouTube."  The pair of you, sitting dumbfounded on Peter's bed, had watched in shock as Peter fumbled and made excuses, pulling off his suit.  "No I'm not!"  "Oh my god, you are," You interjected, "And you got ripped.”

He had been like a brother to you, and he was still, when he came back, but it was different. He seemed like a baby to you now, you couldn't picture yourself, a fourteen, fifteen year old, watching him fight crime, watching him stop the vulture and being unable to help. He was still a brother to you, but a baby brother. It was your job now to protect him. 

But he– and Ned, and MJ, and Betty and Flash and all of the classmates whose empty desks had haunted you every moment after they were gone– they were back now. Midtown, and pretty much every school in the country, had reset the school year for them, and the returning students jumped back into their education, and they had no time to be hanging out with a 22 year old that was only a shell of the friend they remembered. It would also have been pretty creepy. 

You had helped him and May adjust again (Pulling him aside at Tony's funeral, warm hugs and shared tears.) You led them home to a temporary apartment in the city. It didn't take long to get them their apartment back. You had some lingering power of influence as an Avenger, and the family that had moved into their apartment had two of their children returned post blip, and needed a bigger apartment anyway.

You made sure to drop by with takeout once a month or so, but you could feel the difference, and eventually you found yourself having more conversation with Aunt May than you did with Peter. You were an adult. He was not. 

You kept your distance, mourning the friends you had made during the blip, and mourning the friendships you had had before it. 

You got an apartment in Central Manhattan, a block over from the Avengers Tower (now officially named Qeng tower, though no one called it that, and the company that owned it now, Qeng enterprises, didn't seem to care enough to change it). 

Part of the training you had done with Natasha had been of the more spying/espionage kind of thing (her words, yours had been 'stalking' but she didn't like that). A lot of it was full on 'anti-social stalker from the movies' type of stuff: following them around from a distance and snapping photos, you had all their social media followed with notifications on. On some nights, you made your way up to the roof of your building, some old tech from the compound with you, and tracked Peter as he went on patrol. You did trust him to stay safe (and you trusted the trackers in his suit to keep you updated on his vitals), but it made you feel better to see it in real time. And it was always nice to be up there when he swung past, hearing him whoop with laughter, watch him track down a criminal, or do backflips in the air, soaring towards the ground and catching himself at the last moment. 

You kept an eye on Peter, Ned, and MJ– Michelle Jones– a girl who you could distantly remember doing some lab work with in sophomore year, but was now apparently Peter's crush, and his and Ned's friend. 

A replacement. 

You shook the thought away, and carried no real spite towards her, but it did seem convenient that it was only at an opening in the trio that she had gotten involved. 

You kept an eye on May, and due to her very odd new relationship, you also checked in on Happy every so often (you couldn’t really see it, but they seemed happy enough).

But other than you stalking old friends, you remained firmly anti-social, spending most of your time huddled in your apartment, wallowing in your past. You were determined to stay in shape, keep your muscles strong, your reflexes sharp and ready, in case any of your friends needed help (or, on some occasions, the residents of the city). 

You didn't like guns much, and they would be far too loud for your neighbors, so you honed in on more primitive technology. You racked up a good collection of blades, and perfected your throws. You studied anatomy, too, almost obsessively, to know where and what to aim for. With guns, it was easy enough to think of Terminator 2 (you and Peter had marathoned the entire anthology in sophomore year), shots in the legs were usually non-lethal. It wasn't hard to know where to aim for a lethal shot either. There was more to the blade, and you liked that. Taking your time, honing your craft, earning your battles. 

Your living room wall was covered in marks, the wallpaper slashed and torn. Practice needed sacrifices. You had no hopes of getting your deposit back in the first place, landlords were too much of a pain to deal with. 

You were closing in on nine months now, alone, in a future where what you had lost had returned, but everything new was gone and you were miserable anyway. 

You could probably make an attempt at a normal life. Get a job at a coffee shop or something, make friends the old way and lie about what you had been. You could say you were blipped and that everyone you knew had left you behind. You could make an effort, but there was so much sweet comfort in the empty bleakness of your mourning. Waking up at noon, sitting on your couch and making sure the people you cared about were still safe. That, and exercise, formed your routine. A late take-out dinner (thank the gods for postmates), and a night on the roof, or a night of empty television, watching your ex-coworkers get mourned or lauded. They were talking about putting Captain America's shield on the statue of liberty. That had gotten you to laugh hysterically for a while. You couldn't think of a thing the poor old captain would have hated more. 

It wasn't until early July, when the weather was getting so hot that staying in the apartment, even with the AC on full, was impossible, that you decided to properly venture outside the doors of your apartment as y/n: a Totally Normal citizen. 

Peter was safe on a field trip in Europe, you had called May a few days ago, she was fine. Everyone was safe. 

You made it down the block before you needed to seek refuge from the heat, and stumbled into a vaguely familiar, well air conditioned café. You ordered something cold and sat down at a table by the largest window. You looked out, and upwards, and were met with the Avengers Tower, in all of its glory. You realized where you were; this café had been famous, people would grab a table and sit for hours, trying to spot Iron Man flying off. More than ten years ago now, you realized. It was a chain coffeehouse now. It probably hadn't survived the Avengers moving. 

In the distant sky, you could see a crane, and a helicopter with a huge metal Q hanging from it. Maybe the new owners did take issue with the tower's status. 

You looked back down, taking a sip of your drink. Your mind was blank. Peter was safe, Ned was safe. May was safe. Natasha was still dead. So was Stark. 

Your stomach clenched. This wasn't healthy, and you knew it. You needed a hobby, or a friend, or something new. 

Your drink was finished, and you left the safety of the AC for the blast of hot air that greeted you. Instead of heading home, as you desperately wanted (habits were hard to break, and you had gotten your routine so dead set that breaking it was making you anxious), you walked closer to the tower, until you were standing right under it. Was there catharsis here for you?

You looked up, shading your eyes from the burning sun. Squinting, you could make out the helicopter, and the Q that was hanging from it, swinging around, 80 floors up. From your rooftop, on clear nights, you could still make out the mark on the windows, the outline of the 'A' that had stood there, represented the safety of New York, the safety of the earth itself. 

It did seem pretty perfect that the A had been taken down just before the alien attack in 2018. Some heroes you had been. 

You sighed, turning away, feeling shame and grief overpower you once more. There was no fucking purpose in trying to live a life. You were unworthy of it. You would stay in the shadow of your apartment, protect the people you cared about, and fuck the rest of it. You shoved your hands in your pockets and let your gaze turn downwards. You should go home. 

But just as you took your first step, something sounded above you. A huge crack. 

You looked up again and saw, with horror, that the cables the helicopter had been supporting had snapped, sending the metal Q hurtling downwards, towards you, towards everyone else on the street.  

Within a second, you were running off the sidewalk, preparing yourself to grab the nearest pedestrians and run, but before you could you were knocked to the ground. A gust of ice cold wind had sent you, and everyone in the vicinity, flying towards the concrete. You looked up again, and saw a huge, green veil in the sky. You watched the Q hurtle towards the ground, but before it hit you, it vanished through the green veil, and disappeared. 

You got yourself back on your feet, muttering a "what the fuck" under your breath. You looked around, trying to see where the green veil had come from, but before you saw anything it vanished, collapsing in on itself. A wind pulled at you again, weaker this time: air being pulled towards were the veil had disappeared. 

"What the fuck?" You repeated to yourself, but then remembered what your priorities were. Civilians. You got yourself back in focus, and helped a few hurt people get to their feet, calming them with promises of ambulances and medics. No one was too seriously injured, though one older woman seemed to have dislocated her hip. 

You weren't about to give unlicensed medical assistance, but you waited with her, and quickly waived over the first cop car that arrived on the scene. 

"She needs medical attention," You told the police officer, and handed her the older ladies arm. The moment you were sure she was safe, you took off in a dead sprint towards your apartment. This was bad. 

You had seen a lot of weird shit as an Avenger, and portals, or matter displacement or whatever it was, wasn't uncommon, but the only one you knew who was capable of it was Doctor Strange, and his magic was very much orange. The thought of the time stone somehow being back in this reality crossed your mind, but you shook the thought out, ignoring how the memory of the stones made your blood run cold. 

"See you in a second."

No. Not the time. 

You stumbled into your building, chased up the steps into your apartment, grabbing your computer and throwing open the police scanner and the all the news sites you could think of. The police chatter was nothing, and no one had reported on anything yet. 

You checked the towers location on Twitter and Instagram and found one video. A girl was in the forefront of it, smiling and waving at the camera, but she was quickly shoved out of focus as the green thing appeared. You watched yourself and everyone around you fall to the ground, and you saw the Q hurtle towards the ground, and then vanish into thin air. This was not good. You watched the video a few more times, paused on the moment you fell to the ground, watched as the Q entered the Green Veil, and the moment the Q vanished. 

There was nothing. No hint as to who could have done it. Fuck. 

You made your way up to the roof. The tower stood in its place, shooting up between all the surrounding buildings. You couldn't see the ground, but you saw the flashing police lights reflecting in the windows of the tower. No sign of the green veil. No sign that there had even been an incident. 

You didn't like this at all. 

A ping from your phone pulled you back from your thoughts. You pulled it out absentmindedly and let your eyes glimpse over the notification: a news alert. You huffed, and made to put your phone back into your pocket, when you actually took notice of what the news article was

SPIDER-MAN SPOTTED IN PRAGUE?

Peter was so dead. 

Note: First off, this part was a lot of info dumping and not a lot of interaction, so I am very sorry for that, and as a thank you for sticking with me, part two is already up (: And I promise that there is actual conversation and plot there haha  Second, this is going to be a pretty long fic, and, as you can tell from the description, will eventually be a tasm!spider-man x reader, ergo, will be taking place partly during the events of NWH. It’s going to be a slooooooooow burn, I want y’all to be aware of that, and this story will be a pretty big piece of writing. Nwh reignited my love for spiderman and got me to finally watch the tasm movies, which are CRIMINALLY hated on.  Thirdly, I am a perfectionist, and try to make absolutely everything line up with the universe I’m writing for. There will be deviation, obviously, but I’ve always found fics that are wildly inconsistent with the canon material to be a little distracting, so I’ve done my absolute best to place everything in the right time frame.  To make things as clear as they can be, this part is set post blip, in 2024, during Far From Home. I do also draw inspiration from the comics, hence the Qeng Enterprises but I won’t say any more on that here, for spoiler reasons ;)

Thank you for reading!!!

[imkylotrash]

Stone Cold

Pairing: Tony Stark x reader

Summary: He loses you in the snap and when you come back, he’s made a new family that he loves 3000.

Tagging: @bitchwhytho​ @music-of-melody​

“I don’t want to go.” The words seem etched into your brain as you and Tony watch the kid disappear. You lost. There’s no about it as you watch the people you’ve started calling your friends disappear. And all by the snap of a wrist. Tony looks to you for comfort but you can’t give it to him. You know what’s about to happen.

“Tony?” you call out looking down at your hand slowly disintegrating. You can’t go. You can’t leave him - not when he’s already lost so much.

“No, no, no. Baby.” Once again, he holds a loved one in his arms watching them slip away.

“I love you,” you whisper feeling tears slip down your cheeks. This isn’t your time. You have so much left to do on Earth, so much to see and experience. You don’t want it to end now.

“I love you. You hear me? I love you more than I’ll ever love anyone. I keep you in my heart always.” He’s holding onto you with every last ounce of strength he has left but it’s not enough to stop what’s happening. You won’t make it the next two minutes. Tony is arguably the cleverest man alive and here he is unable to save the people he care about the most.

“I will find a way to save you. To undo this.” It’s the last thing he says to you. And he has every intention of keeping his promise but as the years go by, his hope fades. He settles down with Pepper starting a family all while telling himself that this is what you would’ve wanted for him. It’s part of the reason why he’s so hesitant to say yes when the Avengers show up. He’s not ready to face you if this works because he broke his promise to you.

“Tony, this will work. But we need your help.” He knows he has to do it but he’s watching his little baby girl sleep that night and it seems impossible that this has a happy ending. Even if it did work and you came back, it would change nothing. He couldn’t leave Pepper or Morgan even if he wanted to. Still, he goes to work and they succeed. They bring everyone back including you.

“Avengers... Assemble.” Steve leads you into battle with Thanos but this time you have every intention of doing what you couldn’t do last time. You’ve never been much of a fighter but you try to heal everyone you pass. It gives the effect of a never-ending army. Every time someone falls to the ground, you’re there to heal them so that they can continue fighting. You don’t see Tony until he’s standing there with glove on ready to snap.

“Tony!” you yell running straight towards him. He looks at you with pain in his eyes mouthing a single word before he snaps his fingers. It’s the one chance you have at beating Thanos but you refuse to let Tony die. Not like this and not when you just got back. It almost takes you out to heal him - or at least keep him alive long enough to get him to a hospital. You save his life that day and looking back at it, you would’ve done the exact same thing even knowing what you know now.

You go to visit him in the hospital to find Pepper and a little girl sitting in the room with him. He doesn’t see you which allows you to observe them.

“He thought he’d lost you.” Happy comes up behind you holding a vase of flowers in his hands. You assume they’re for Tony.

“He did lose me.” You want to be rational and accept the fact that Tony thought he’d never see you again but your heart has held on to his promise for all this time and now it’s too late.

“You should’ve seen him when he came back from space. He was a mess. Pepper saved him from himself.”

“Happy, no offence but I really don’t need to hear what a saint she is. I’m not going to ruin it for him.” You try smiling but it doesn’t reach your eyes. You want to be happy for Tony because he really does deserve to be happy but you just always thought it’d be with you. 

You don’t go in to see him that day but you know it’s inevitable. You’ll have to face him at one point. Which turns out to be when he shows up at your apartment without any warning. You open the door mid laugh only to drop your phone from pure shock. He’s looking better than ever with a little scruff and a new suit. But even with your healing powers, he still carries the scars from using the infinity stones. 

“Hi,” you breathe not even sure what to do or say right now. Why is he here?

“Can I come in?” It takes you exactly five seconds to pull yourself together and step aside. He’s looking at you as if you’re a ghost and, in some ways, you are. You’re the ghost from the past that he thought he’d never have to deal with. 

“Morgan is a sweetheart,” you say in an attempt to break the awkward silence. You’re not sure why you decide bringing up his child with another woman is the best way to do that but you genuinely do think she’s a nice girl. 

“Thank you. She’s a lot like her mot-” He stops himself from finishing the sentence but you both know what he meant to say. You hate feeling like he’s a stranger when you spent the better part of a decade loving him before everything got so messed up. 

“It’s okay. You can mention Pepper.” You give him a half-hearted smile that he doesn’t even bother returning. 

“I came to say I’m sorry. I gave up hope and I shouldn’t have. But I can’t... I can’t leave them. Morgan is my world.” You don’t blame him. You understand it even if it kills you. 

“If happy is her, I’m happy for you. I just can’t be around it.” 

When you say goodbye, you both know it means more than just goodbye. You won’t be seeing each other again. And while you truly do wish for him to be happy, you can’t bring yourself to watch him be happy with someone else. 

“Goodbye, Y/N.” You close the door leaning against it. You slowly slide down so that you end up sitting on the floor. You keep replaying his promise in your mind like a cruel reminder of what you lost - what Thanos took from you. 

I will find a way to save you.

[roselen-mylady]

the game | part two

Part One

Steve hated to admit it but he had always been a jealous person. As a child he was jealous of the way so many other kids had dads that tucked them in at night. As a teen he was jealous of how easily Bucky made women swoon. As an adult he was jealous of Stark when he attempted to woo Peggy. And now he was jealous because it seemed everyone but himself was able to easily talk and even kiss Y/n.

Oh how badly he had wanted to.

And he almost did during that game of spin the bottle. Yet he'd lost his nerve. And lost his chance.

Thor's laughter had drawn his full attention toward the pair. Not that his eye had ever left Y/n but now the man before him was blatantly being ignored as Steve's entire focus was on Y/n and Thor. He strained to hear whatever was being said by her but he could hardly pay attention as Thor lifted her into the air and spun her around like a princess.

He could've done that.

His blood nearly boiled as he watched Thor kiss her. It was innocent, he knew that, but he just couldn't help it. He was angry at the world and Thor but mostly himself.

Before Thanos he thought he'd have all the time he needed to work up to confessing his feelings for her while she stayed in Wakanda watching after his best friend. But when she was snapped away he realized he had made a horrible mistake. A mistake he regretted every minute of every day during those long five years.

But now he had a chance to fix it.

Yet he hadn't been able to talk to her since she returned. The friendship they'd had before then was bashful but strong yet during her absence he had distanced himself from the idea of her in order to cope.

When she returned all the emotions he felt came rushing back in waves. And he was still blowing it.

•••

"I'm so tired of watching these two pine after one another." Wanda spoke suddenly, making Bucky turn toward her, dragging his gaze away from the pair.

"What do you mean?" Bucky asked, looking back at them as Wanda came to stand at his side, watching them with him.

"You mean you haven't noticed? Y/n's in love with Steve. Steve's in love with Y/n. It's agonizing to watch, really." She sighed, rather vexed with the entire situation. It was her after all who had watched them through the years. They'd known each other ever since before the accords and all that time they'd had an awkward friendship in which feelings were obvious on both ends yet neither had the courage to act.

She hated to imagine how Y/n's death might've affected him but yet it still hadn't given him the will of the courage to act. It pained her to watch the two fall back into their old ways.

"Y/n loves Steve?" Bucky mumbled, disbelief evident in his features. Wanda nodded, her eyes trailing Y/n as she made her way to Peter, who was standing haphazardly close to Steve.

"More than life itself, though she'll never admit it. I saw it when I had to enter her thoughts years ago during a mission we had in Germany." Wanda explained. She remembered the overwhelming feeling of Y/n's emotions. They crashed into her stronger than any wave could and even after all these years they were just as strong.

"Then why haven't they done anything?" Bucky asked. He looked down at her finding the same lost expression on her face that was more than likely on his.

"I don't know. Y/n told me last week the same thing she told me all those years ago. Things are too complicated and she can't risk losing him if he doesn't feel the same." Wanda quoted Y/n, her annoyance seeping through her words.

Bucky scoffed, recognizing the excuse as something very similar to Steve's and he shook his head, feeling the same defeat Wanda did. "Just like them to be too stupid to be happy." He groaned, looking up at them.

"Yeah. But hopefully when he kisses her one of them will do something." Wanda hoped her statement might encourage their boldness.

"Unless it's a repeat of spin the bottle." Bucky said, dreading the chance that it might happen. Wanda cringed, shaking her head.

"Y/n won't allow it. She takes the game too seriously." She replied, more to convince herself than Bucky. It was true. Y/n would get Steve to kiss her whether it was for the win or her own motives. That is if her nerves didn't take over.

"Let's hope."

•••

"Well, if it isn't Spiderman." Y/n called out, grabbing Peter's attention. He smiled brightly, finally being called by his preferred name and not Spiderboy.

"Ms. Y/n! What-what are you doing here?" Peter's sore attempt at small talk made him wince but thankfully Y/n didn't seem to mind, looking down at his glass.

"Just mingling. Whatcha drinking?" She asked curiously, wondering if Tony had allowed the poor boy a drink while dealing with all the people who no doubt asked him millions of questions regarding his presence and age.

"Sprite. Mr. Stark said he can't allow me to 'drink and swing'." Peter adjusted his glass, using his fingers as quotations before letting out a short giggle at the phrase.

Y/n laughed as well, trying to appear relaxed as she felt a certain pair of eyes on her. Steve was standing just a few feet away with Tony, not within earshot but close enough to send butterflies to her stomach. With each kiss she collected she felt more and more anxious knowing eventually she'd reach Steve. Was she ready for that?

"Well, that simply won't do. It's a party, Peter, and I can't allow you to not drink. When I was your age Tony was slipping me drinks left and right, it's only fair I pass on the tradition." She explained, leaning forward carefully as her hand brushed his.

He blushed, his eyes widening like saucers as she skillfully slipped his glass out of his hand, replacing it with her own. Glancing at Tony as if expecting to be caught, he was relieved to find his father figure blissfully unaware of their treachery.

"Ms. Y/n, I really shouldn't-"

"Don't worry, I'll drive you home if you're that worried. I got you bro." Y/n promised, nudging his arm with a kind smile. "Now tell me you've at least tried champagne. You've been to like three of these parties now." She laughed her smile growing as he joined in.

"Yeah, well, I mean a little bit from my Aunt May's glass." Y/n shook her head, putting her hand on his shoulder, a dramatic look of sorrow on her face.

"My poor boy. I have many things to share with you. Speaking of which, Shuri is asking if you're coming with me to Wakanda next week." Y/n sipped the soda watching as Peter's fingers danced happily against his own glass.

"Really?! I mean, of course! If you want me to. I've never been, what's it like?" Peter rambled, his face lit up in excitement, making Y/n chuckle at how thrilled the boy was.

"You'll see soon enough. I'll come get you next Friday and bring your suit, I'm sure Shuri would love to tinker with it." Y/n advised. Peter nodded wildly, psyched for such a trip.

"Thank you, Ms. Y/n." Peter grinned. Y/n wrapped an arm around his shoulders turning him in the direction of where Tony was standing.

"Peter, Y/n is fine. Trust me, I'm one of the few people in this world who know what it's like to have Tony as a father figure and anyone who can handle that is okay in my book." Y/n laughed, pointing at the man in question.

As if sensing their shit talking, Tony turned around, catching sight of them. A suspicious glare was sent their way but Y/n could hardly notice it as another figure stepped into view, following Tony's gaze.

It was then that they were forced to look at one another head on. Not at a glance or a sneaky peek. They might as well have been standing in front of one another as they both froze.

If Y/n's heart decided to stop in that instant, she wouldn't blame it. The pure intensity of Steve's gaze was enough to make her shudder and she fought her every molecule to stare back. There was a warmth in his eyes, one that sent a flutter of giddiness through her.

A small smile crept onto his face and Y/n gasped, forcing herself to return the gesture and not just gawk at him. She was at a loss for words. It was the first time since Thanos that he had given her any sort of acknowledgement. While it hurt that their friendship had seemed to diminish while she'd been gone, she knew that rekindling it was a two way street. But now he was smiling at her. And she was smiling back.

She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath until Peter stepped in front of her, his hands resting on her shoulders and his brows furrowed in concern. "Y/n? Are you okay?" His voice was soothing and it helped her recover her loss of breath from her moment with Steve.

"Huh? Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Just...uh, thinking." She mumbled, her eyes drifting back to Steve once more. His smile had faltered slightly, his face beginning to match Peter's concern but with a small curve of her lips, she assured him that his worry was senseless.

"About the game?"

"Hmm?" Y/n questioned, directing her attention to the boy once more. Peter eyed his glass carefully before taking a cautious sip.

"The game you play with Ms. Natasha and Ms. Wanda. You're playing, right? I saw you earlier with Thor." He explained. Y/n's face flushed, a little embarrassed that her moment with Thor had been witnessed by someone she knew. What if Steve saw? Would he be jealous?

Y/n nearly shook her head, convincing herself that she wasn't worth being jealous over. Especially to Steve.

"Oh, yeah. We are. That reminds me, you like Star Wars right?" She smirked, looking at him as she sipped his soda, the pink on his cheeks making her giggle.

"Well, yeah, I mean lots of people do. I'm not the only one-that would be weird. Unless you like it, not that you liking it would make it less weird. Not that you're not weird! Weird-"

"Peter!" Y/n laughed, putting her hand on his as she lightly brought the drink down. "Whew boy, maybe alcohol isn't your thing. Then again you've always been a rambler." She gently took the drink back from him, watching as a wave of relief washed over him.

"Have you eaten yet? I think there's hors d'oeuvres around here somewhere." She muttered, glancing around for any servers. Peter shook his head accepting his soda back before looking back up at her.

"No I'm okay, really." He told her, his heart warming at how much she seemed to care. It was nice and he enjoyed his relationship with Y/n. She allowed him to do things with her like travel, patrol, even hang out in the lab and she quickly became another idol of his.

"Are you thinking of watching Star Wars?" He asked her, referring to her previous question. She smiled, shaking her head.

"No, I've already seen it, I'm just thinking of a pick up line for the game. Tonight's rules are if you like my line I get a kiss and I fully intend on winning tonight." Peter nearly choked on air as his eyes widened yet again.

"A kiss? From me?" Y/n giggled, tapping her finger to her cheek.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Parker. A kiss on the cheek will do." She teased, making his face impossibly redder. He shook his head frantically trying to display as best he could that it wasn't his intention.

"I'm kidding. Now are you ready to hear my cheesy pick up line or will I just have to forfeit?" Peter's head didn't seem to stop shaking as he urged her to continue. "Alright here goes."

"Hey, sweetheart. Do you like Star Wars cause Yoda only one for me." With a wink she smiled, enjoying the scrunch of Peter's nose as he cringed at the line. 

"Not doing it for ya?" She laughed. Peter scoffed, trying to hide the smile that threatened to show.

"I hate to admit it, but it was kinda funny." He sighed, ashamed to have enjoyed such a horrible line. Y/n's grin grew, pointing to her cheek once more.

"Then pay up. I've got two more kisses to collect." Peter smiled, leaning forward and pecking the space her finger had been. "Thank you. Now find someone to mess with. I won't be the only one reeking havoc tonight." She poked a stern finger into his chest. With some convincing he eventually promised to at least pull a prank on Sam and Bucky.

With that she began to make her way to Tony. A knot formed in her stomach as she paced in his direction yet it wasn't Tony who made her nervous. No, only Steve Rogers could make her feel so squeamish and turn her legs to jelly. And she was making her way straight toward him.

Y/n could barely hear the click of her heels and the chatter of those around her over the pep talk she was giving herself in her head. She refused to embarrass herself in front of him. This was going to be her second chance and she wouldn't allow her nerves to ruin it again.

"As I live and breathe! Do I stand before Iron Man and Captain America? I do hope this isn't a dream." Steve's soft chuckle seemed to go straight to her core and she feared her heart might beat right out of her chest.

"Don't encourage her, Cap." Tony grumbled, turning his gaze to Y/n. "Well, if it isn't my favorite niece."

"Your only niece." Y/n corrected, a short glare focused on him as he smirked.

"Let me guess you're here to win the game. Let's hear it so poor Cap here can get a turn. I don't think he's kissed a woman since the 40s." Tony leaned down, whispering the last part and making Y/n giggle.

"Hey!" Steve objected in vain. But what Y/n said next sent any duty to protect his pride out the window.

"That's a crying shame. The ladies must not know what they're missing." Y/n froze as the words left her mouth. What was she thinking? Her face burned and she hid behind her glass trying to muffle her embarrassed groan with her champagne.

"Jeez, get a room." Steve and Y/n both glared at Tony but he didn't seem to care, instead shrugging innocently.

"Alright, here's your line you impatient ass." Y/n scoffed, deciding to use a particularly bad line for the annoying man she dared call her father figure.

"Was that it?" He smirked.

"Shut up, I gotta turn around and approach this again or else it won't work." She hissed, earning a heartfelt laugh from Steve. Twice. She'd made him laugh twice. Her heart was practically singing at the thought. Maybe she'd actually get to kiss him?

With more determination than before, she turned around, taking a few steps away before dramatically turning back to them. Using theatrics she no doubt learned from Tony Stark himself, she put on a smile before holding her arms out in a grand gesture.

"Well I'm here, what's your next two wishes?"

"That was horrendous." Tony said almost immediately while Steve tried to contain his laughter behind them.

"Well, I couldn't very well waste my best lines on you now could I?" Y/n jested, taking the glass in his hand and pouring what remained of his drink into her now empty glass.

Tony's teasing expression fell as he painfully watched Y/n sip her glass. "I can't believe you're related to me." Y/n smiled back at him proudly.

"Only by marriage." She shrugged. Tony sighed, leaning down and pressing a fatherly kiss to her forehead just along her hairline.

"Thank god." He ignored Y/n's squinted stare, turning to Steve. "I think I'm going to go get another drink, since mine was so blatantly stolen." Tony glanced at Y/n who shamelessly smirked.

"But first I wanna hear your pick up line for Cap. Please be something patriotic. Maybe sing him the national anthem." He suggested, nudging Steve forward to where he stood before Y/n.

Not expecting Tony's push, Steve stumbled nearly crashing into Y/n but thankfully he caught himself, only having a redder face than before.

"I'm not sure the national anthem is a pick up line, Tony." Y/n replied, focusing on anything but Steve. At this distance she could smell the familiar cologne and feel the heat radiating from him. It reminded her all too much of the days before the snap. When he'd hold her whenever she was hurt or when he'd pick her up to launch her toward an enemy. Reminded her of the few hugs they'd managed to share.

Reminded her of their last before she dusted in his arms.

"I don't know. He's really horny for America, it might work." Tony refuted, earning a threatening gaze from both Steve and his niece.

"Fine, y'know what? Have privacy or whatever in the middle of this crowded party. See if I care." Tony said, a little butt hurt that he wouldn't be able to witness the awkward exchange first hand.

He was no idiot when it came to his niece's attraction to the super soldier. While at first he disapproved, even more so when it led to her being on the opposite side that day in Berlin, years had led to forgiveness. He couldn't really stay mad at her even if he tried. Only sorry he hadn't apologized before the snap.

"Thank you, Tony." Y/n spoke quietly, sending him a grateful look. Whatever was about to happen already made her nervous, she didn't think doing it with Tony there would be possible.

"Yeah, yeah." He waved a dismissive hand, beginning to walk away.

It wasn't until he had Morgan that he realized he was already a father. Y/n had been his first and no matter his guilt, she would always forgive him. Always need him.

"Don't get carried away." He threatened suddenly, pointing to his eyes before twisting his hand back to them with a menacing squint.

Y/n rolled her eyes, looking back to Steve as Tony finally left.

"He's protective." Y/n explained, trying to be annoyed. It was actually kinda touching the way he cared despite his usual selfish smartass exterior.

"For good reason." Steve agreed, making Y/n's head tilt confused.

"You think I can't take care of myself?" She questioned defensively, ready to prove her worth no matter who he was.

"No, of course you can. Just-..." He trailed off, a sorrowful expression taking hold of his features against his will. "We've both failed you before. Numerous times." Steve confessed, his eyes falling downcast as Y/n realized what he'd meant.

She’d never truly thought about how her absence might have affected him. Before the snap he never gave any hint that he wanted to be more than a friend to her. But now she studied that look in his eye, that one she hadn’t recognized before. Heartbreak. 

"Steve, you didn't fail me." She insisted. Her hand had come to his own, grasping lightly at his loose fingers and ignoring the buzz in her skin and the rapid pace of her heart.

"No, I did. I turned you against your family. I got you arrested. I dragged you back into the fight and...you got snapped away." His voice broke at the end, years of depression and misery washing over him all over again.

"It wasn't your fault. We all lost that day." Y/n argued but her words didn't seem to stick.

"I'll never forgive myself." Steve's words were barely above a whisper, each syllable falling further into him unable to escape.

The sight alone made her heart ache but it was the way he'd spoken that truly shook her. They were the words of a broken man, a man that had lost it all. Had she done that to him? Did he care about her like that? Maybe he was scared too.

“Well, it's a good thing I already did.” Y/n smiled hoping to bring back the smile that she'd been able to give him moments before. Her hand stayed planted to his own more terrified to release it than she was to keep holding it. Would she ever work up the courage to do it again?

Steve looked back up at her, a tender glimmer in his eye as he moved his hand to hold her own. “I missed you.”

The statement alone wasn't nearly enough to convey how much he'd longed for her in those five years, left without any hope of ever getting her back. Didn’t show her the sleepless nights or the endless tears. Didn’t show her first few years he spent, alone and secluded. Didn’t show her how many times he prayed to any god that would listen for them to bring her back. 

But her eyes seemed to tell him that she understood. Y/n knew exactly how he felt even if she'd been relieved of it for five years. She remembered when she was arrested, screaming at the guards that they'd never find Steve. Remembered the sobs that racked through her when he came to free her, relieved he’d made it out of the war safely. Remembered their time on the run, unable to tell him how she felt. Remembered volunteering to stay with Bucky when Steve's worry became too much. Remembered him coming back and bring a war with him. Remembered him catching her before she dusted, too fast for her to tell him her greatest truth. 

She loved him.

“I missed you too.” She said softly, her face burning under his gentle gaze. They’d become so unbearably close at that point, making her breath ragged and her heart race. 

Clearing her throat, she looked away, trying not to reveal how flustered he made her. “So do you wanna hear my pick up line or not?” She once again changed the subject, making Steve smile at her lovingly. 

“Definitely.” He replied. 

“Alright. On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?” She gave him the first one that came to find, silently groaning when she realized she'd done exactly what Tony suggested. Curse their horribly similar minds. 

"That's terrible." Steve chuckled, staring at her with adoration unlike he'd ever done before. She was absolutely perfect in his eyes and he refused to waste anymore time being scared. 

"You didn't like that? I have more." Y/n rambled, oblivious toward Steve's affectionate gaze. "Can I tie your shoes? I don't want you falling for anyone else." 

Steve laughed, shaking his head as he stepping forward and shifting his hand to her waist as he pulled her closer. 

The action on flustered her further, dragging another pick up line out of her. "Or I like your last name, can we share it?" 

Steve's smile grew, his heart swelling with each word. He loved listening to her lines even if they were cheesy. But he was determined now and he wouldn't let either of their nerves stop them anymore. 

"I lost my number, can I have-"

Suddenly he leaned forward, cutting her sentence short as his lips latched onto her own. 

The kiss was so tender she practically melted in his arms, her hand coming to his chest while the other shifted to behind his neck, her fingers filtering through the lower part of his hair. His grip around her waist tightened as his heart pounded under her palms, the aftermath of anticipation rushing through his chest. 

It was effortless the way they molded together and it left him breathless. He couldn't believe he'd never just kissed her before and after believing all these years he'd never get the chance to, he was so grateful to have her now. 

"I've waited too long for that. I think I'm gonna need interest." Y/n gasped as they pulled away her eyes half lidded as she tried to process what had happened. 

"Was that another pick up line?" Steve's brows furrowed, his lips a beautiful shade of darker pink. 

Y/n smiled up at him, pulling him close once more. "Shut up." 

••• 

"Who's gonna tell her she didn't win?" Wanda questioned suddenly, glancing over at Nat. 

Sam raised his hands in surrender, passing off the duty as soon as possible to avoid any type of rage the woman might've wreaked on him. 

"I don't think she'll really care at this point." Nat spoke, pointing a finger toward the couple across the room. 

They didn't seem to care that they were in a room full of people, instead remaining engrossed in each other as they stared at each other lovingly. It was touching really but what Nat assumed to be their confessions had lost Y/n the game. 

"Wait does this mean the games with stop?" Sam questioned suddenly. 

"No, it'll just make them more interesting." Nat smirked.

[salty-ironstrange-shipper]

Okay so, I'm listening to I think I'm in love again by kat dahlia and there this "I say "fuck you" While I'm thinking of you as my husband" And my brain just screamed IRONSTRANGE!! I M U S T read fluffy ironstrange fics!

So you got any fluffy fics for me? Cuz I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight without reading any floffy ironstrange fics

here are some ~fluffy fics for ya’

(there ended up being a lot, so they’re under the cut)

Peter Parker is a Little Shit

1,044 words

Peter wants to learn how to play the trumpet. Stephen, upon finding out Peter wishes to annoy the former Avengers with it, suggests he doesn't have to learn how to actually play.

Professors Stark and Strange

1,195 words

There's two kinds of professors, the brick wall and the over share. Dr. Strange is professor brick wall and Dr. Stark is professor overshare. How their students learned that they're married with two kids.

An Open Invitation to Dance

1,601 words

Tony has a ring in his pocket and a half-formed plan to get the love of his life to say yes to him

Maybe less than that of a plan

12% of a plan?

a vague idea

The Escapist

1,890 words

Stephen and Tony knew that moving Peter into his crib would be tough. But, they didn't expect this.

“Good kitty”

2,157 words

Sometimes it can be hard to make the first move - especially when your crush is also your hot new neighbor with an adorable cat.

Fortunately, Levi the kitty is there to give Tony and Stephen a little push.

Just a family

2,251 words

They loved each other long before. They will love each other forever. Its just a question of finding each other again!

a rebirth AU inspired by lucifersfavoritechild's tumblr

A Passage in Time

2,264 words

Tony takes Stephen on a nice beach vacation to get away from the cold winter. Other things happen. Like an engagement.

Peter Parker's Homecoming

2,346 words

Five-year old Peter Parker anxiously waits to go to his new home, where his adopted parents, Tony and Stephen Stark-Strange await his arrival.

Where Severus Snape is hot, not a stalker, and somehow gets the girl

2,387 words

And then, as if he wasn’t already the most embarrassing estranged biological dad ever, Tony stopped in his tracks, raised his sunglasses (because of course he would wear sunglasses inside a lecture hall in April), and gave Professor Strange the most blatant, sustained once-over in the history of fuckboyness. Then he put down his glasses, shot a winning smile at the teacher, and said, “Well, I’m Tony Stark, of course.”

Or: Peter Parker is sick and wants to cut his Neuroscience class. Tony just wants to help (and maybe date his son's hot teacher). Stephen Strange just wants to give his lecture in peace.

Burden of Proof

2,561 words

Based on a prompt/headcanon from my dear rinn aka Maevee

"I do have a tiny headcanon just of Christine meeting Tony and fangirling out a bit, like maybe while she's at work so she's struggling to be professional. Strange tells her he's dating Tony Stark and she doesn't believe him, so he brings her proof."

Are You Trying to Deduce Me?

2,619 words

When Tony throws a costume party, both he and Stephen end up coming as very different but very familiar versions of the same character.

Tony Stark's secret husband

2,870 words

It’s not like they wanted to keep the secret because they didn’t. They never spoke about going public with their wedding, and nobody but for tabloids ever asked either Stark or Stephen about their romantic lives so, again, Tony wouldn’t blame either himself or Stephen for keeping it between the two of them.

I Feel Loved

2,913 words

After months of waiting and yearning Stephen returns to Tony for a long-promised date. Things escalate quickly from that point on.

Pint-Sized Parker

3,636 words

Tony is called away from a meeting to deal with a now toddler-aged Peter Parker, who went snooping around in Stephen Strange's spells.

Contentment

3,732 words

Tony hadn't gotten a good night's sleep since before Afghanistan. Even with Thanos gone and everyone back, he still can't shake the nightmares. At a party, Stephen Strange gives him hope for the future that they fought for.

basically just fluff.

I Hate (Love) You

3,990 words

Tony has a hard time spitting out the words I love you. Stephen doesn't mind.

Strange Strawberry Sorbet

6,023 words

After the realization came the denial, immediately followed by depression. So what if Stephen might kind of...maybe...sort of...be in like with Tony. Tony deserves better than a nobody, hobo sorcerer with blasted, shaking hands and the only thing going for him being magicky party tricks he's questionably good at.

Stephen will absolutely NOT ask Tony out on a date, let alone confess to the myriad of feelings he has for the man.

Then again, Peter Parker doesn't need permission to spin his webs like the puppetmaster he is and this time, this time he brought reinforcements.

Petulance (Among Other Things)

6,988 words

Tony’s stuck going to a conference—against his will, thank you very much—and Stephen’s not even coming with him. He’s all alone. Abandoned. Unloved. Melodramatic. Possibly. Just a tiny bit.

—

A conference. A storm. A warmth.

Five Times Tony Saw Stephen Naked and the One Time He Helped

7,117 words

Tony isn't entirely sure how he feels about the Sorcerer Supreme.

He is sure, however, that he's seen enough of him to make those feelings even more complicated.

The Two Lives of Stephen Strange

8,365 words

After losing the love of his life, Stephen Strange finds out he can visit him in his dreams.

tap dancing on a land mine

Tony discovers, much to his delight, that Stephen holds a special hatred for being called “babe”. Of course, that means Tony only goes out of his way to push this newly discovered button of Stephen’s like it’s his god-given purpose in life. Because that’s what true love’s all about, right?

[starshipsofstarlord]

Morgan | Peter Parker

Returning from ashes felt like it had been hours rather than years. Luckily, Strange was with you, informing you that more time had passes than you had initially thought. But in that moment, you weren’t aware of how much you had missed out on.

Those years you could never get back with your father because he was dead. During the final battle against the past’s Thanos, he had made the ultimate sacrifice. It was the only way that he was to be beaten, and the world to be saved. That sacrifice was his own life, he had known the cost.

Your father’s body could not withstand the power of the infinity stones for a long duration. After he snapped his fingers, he had fallen weak, drifting off and thinking of his lost and found family. With teary eyes, you had watched him die, leaning into Peter as a source of comfort.

Peter was like Tony’s apprentice. He was always willing to do what was asked of him, other than if he was told to stay out of a fight that he saw held a cause. But you needed him more than ever when you returned home, finding that your billionaire dad had moved into a sweet cabin.

In an instant upon his death, you had departed from Peter and ran towards Pepper. She was practically the mother that you had never had, seeing as your biological one had died during childbirth. But going to her home felt like a stab in the heart.

Of course you were beyond pleased to see Happy. Although he wasn’t alone, there was a small girl with him, with brown hair and brown eyes, just like your father’s. It wasn’t difficult to put two and two together, after all you were the daughter of a worldwide genius.

The thought that he had another daughter though after losing you made you create distance between everyone. Sure, you were living with Pepper as she was your legal guardian now, but that didn’t mean that you had to be on the same side of the kitchen when helping to make dinner or go to the park with her and Morgan.

The kid was fresh faced, and a part of you hated your late father for that. She hadn’t been pulled into his avenging life whereas you had, and so had Peter. Just because he wanted a mind similar to his own, he selfishly brought you onto the team, gladly you could say that you played no part in creating Ultron, but you had to aid in cleaning up his global mess.

A knock invaded the quiet space of your room, however it didn’t come from the door. Peter was at the window, clinging onto the frame as you hurried over to invite him in. Pulling up the adjoined frames, he rolled through the gap, dropping his backpack on the carpet.

“Have you just came from school?” It was your creeping suspicion. A part of you worried that he may have been seen swinging his way over here, he wasn’t wearing his mask or suit, leaving him open to exposure. But for you, that was a risk that he was willing to take.

“Yeah.” He breathed out a cluster of air that he had been holding in, brushing away the parts of his hair that had fallen down onto his forehead. “It’s not the same without you.” Sure, he had Ned, and MJ, but that wasn’t fulfilling enough. He liked to discuss the things that he had learnt from your father with you, although there was no doubt that you already knew.

Since your father’s death, you had no intention to return to the school. The only reason you had been put in there in the first place was so that you could keep an eye on Peter, and make sure that he didn’t decide to fight anyone like Vulture by himself again.

“Nothing’s the same after, what are the calling it, the blip.” That past before then was your normal. It felt like you were living an entirely different reality right now. Back then, you didn’t have a sister. You weren’t even sure that she knew who you were.

Did anyone really discuss with her that you shared the same dad? When you moved here, you found one picture of Tony and Peter in the kitchen, and had sulked around every room to try and find a piece of yourself. To no avail, there was nothing, but there were still pictures of Morgan.

“I know why you’re saying that.” He spoke, flopping himself on your bed. He could read you like a book, it was easy to him. All of these moments where you locked yourself away into what used to be the guest bedroom, he knew why. You had your own idea of your reality, and that didn’t include a child.

“Perhaps I’m just being general.” You defended yourself, denying all claim to what Peter was supposing. “I mean, you had to find another apartment because other people had moved in, everything has shifted.”

“Or things have been added.” He bumped your shoulder with his own, prompting you to properly listen to him. “ And they don’t have to be bad. Don’t tell me that you blame a kid for everything, because I know that you aren’t like that. For a fact, I remember you saying to me once after class that you wished you had a sibling, then there wouldn’t be as much pressure upon you.”

“I wasn’t supposed to be left with said child though, my dad was supposed to still be in the picture.” Carefully, Peter pulled your head to rest on his shoulder. At the first touch you went rigid, but soon you relaxed. “Half of my family is gone Pete, I can’t act like nothing is missing from it.”

“And no one is asking you to.” He played with the ends of your hair, twirling them around his fingers. “But none of this is Morgan’s fault. She is Mr Stark’s last creation on this earth, maybe you should give her a chance.”

“No.” You responded, lifting your head away, causing Peter to lift his eyebrows in shock. 

“No?”

“You’re wrong.” You spoke. “She’s not the only family that I have left, I have you.” Inside, he had convinced you to want to improve your status with your half sister, but there was still one distraction left in the way. And it was him.

“And you always will.” He smiled, partially hating the comparison you had made to family. Did you think of him like a brother or cousin? Oh god, he hoped not.

It was a quick decision, one that Peter hadn’t see coming, but you pecked his lips, making him jump in surprise. But soon he returned for another, and another, and so on.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Escape

Summary: The Red Room haunts you, from the moment you stepped foot inside to long after you’ve left. Truth is, you don’t think there is any escaping it.

Warnings: 18+ Violence, Depression, Mentions of Death, Smut

Chapter 12

****** 

A lab. A safehouse. A barn. A warehouse. Hell you wouldn’t be surprised if you’d ended up in a empty field. But a diner? You didn’t expect to be here. 

Scott, Steve, and Natasha seemed more interested in the Doctor. 

You can’t say you’re shocked. After the very obvious complications he was having before, you figured he’d end up fixing it. Seeing the Hulk so, human, was different but not surprising.

“Come on, I feel like I'm the only one eating.” He nudges the plate towards you and Natasha,“ try some of that. Have some eggs.” 

You raise an eyebrow at the people at the table before looking at the plate. With a shrug, you grab a fork and eat some eggs. Finding that they taste pretty good, you eat some more.

Natasha smiles a little at you, shaking her head and then looking at Bruce.

“I’m so confused.” Scott is the first to speak.

Bruce nods,“ these are confusing times.”

“No, no, that’s not what I mean.”

With a sigh, Bruce says,“ no, I get it. I'm kidding! I know. It's crazy. I'm wearing shirts now.”

You can’t help but chuckle at that. Of all the confusing things that’s going on with the man, wearing clothes isn’t that big a deal. 

“Yeah!” Scott exclaims,“ wh- How? Why?” He frowns.

A somber expression takes over Bruce’s face,“ five years ago, we got our asses beaten. Except it was worse for me. Because I lost twice. First, Hulk lost, then Banner lost. Then, we all lost.”

There’s no part of you that could one hundred percent understand what Bruce had felt during all of that. Still, if it hurt you to lose to Thanos, you know it’s so much worse for him.

“No one blamed you, Bruce.” Your wife tries reassuring him.

Still, he shakes his head,“ I did.” He explains his acceptance of the hulk, briefly mentions the process of doing so, and expresses his pride of becoming this better version of himself. 

You have to admit that it is nice to see that he’s doing better. 

Conversation stops at the presence of three little kids. They take a picture with Bruce and then get into a small spat with Scott before leaving. 

Eventually Steve directs the conversation back to the important topic. Only for Bruce to point out that’s a little above his paygrade. 

“You managed to pull this off. I remember a time where this seemed pretty impossible too.” Natasha encourages. 

Bruce’s eyes watch her, trusting the emotion in her eyes. With one look around the table, taking in Scott and Steve’s hopeful expressions, he agrees to come back to the compound to try. 

Still you all don’t leave until Bruce is finished eating. You’d helped put away some of the food, eating some more eggs and a couple sausages but steering clear of the overly large pancakes.

Minutes later you’re all climbing into the Quinjet. Natasha and Steve both head to the pilots seats leaving you, Bruce, and Scott behind. 

You’re already sitting and paging through a book noncommittally when Bruce decides to join you. He sits in the two chairs beside, resting back on the chair and the wall.

“Sup Doc.” You greet, shutting the book and looking up at him.

“Hey Y/N, how you been?” 

A thoughtful expression passes your face,“ truthfully better than ever.”

“That’s great.” He nods, looking over at Natasha,“ I’m guessing married life is treating you well.”

Your eyes fall over to your wife as well,“ it has it’s ups and downs. But I couldn’t be happier.”

While there use to be a longing look on his face you can now see how he’s simply happy that Natasha is happy. 

Conversation between you two shifts from Natasha to the “time heist” as Scott calls it.

“Be honest, do you think this’ll work?” You ask him quietly. 

A frustrated hand runs up his face and through his hair,“ there’s a chance.”

“Bruce. There’s a ‘chance’ to fix climate change. There’s a ‘chance’ to solve poverty. I’m gonna need this to be a little more than a chance for me to trust this plan.”

“Sorry Y/N, that’s all I can give you.” 

Shaking your head, you slouch in your seat.

Thoughts race through your mind, all of them connected to one single thought. You don’t want Natasha to get hurt again. 

Losing the first time shook her, nearly destroyed her and you’d struggled to pick up the pieces it left her in. At times you knew that even though she took comfort in your presence and she appreciated you being there, it wasn’t enough. And as much as you hate to admit it, you still aren’t enough. 

Natasha loves you and you’d never deny or doubt that but you’d never be able to replace or even fill the gap of the family she’d lost. Brothers and sisters, her friends and partners. 

You see the hope filling her and the last thing you want is for her to be let down. Essentially having to lose all over again. 

By the time you get to the compound the sun is setting. 

With the sky painted in shades of yellow and red, you decide to go to the roof. A slight breeze makes it just barely chilly so you continue on, sitting yourself on the roof’s ledge and looking out over the lake.

Taking a deep breath, you sort through your thoughts.

Admittedly you start to feel bad, almost upset with yourself. It’s so incredibly selfish of you to prioritize Natasha over the rest of the universe. You’re not wishing that the world stay this way but you’ve managed to have more than you could’ve ever wanted and the prospect of an even better future with Natasha hangs in the balance of this plan. 

You can’t help but think that you’ve gone from one extreme to the other. In the past you’d completely disregarded your desires, so much so that you allowed yourself to be used by HYDRA and the KGB. And now you’re so sure of what you want that you’re borderline willing to leave things the way they are. 

In truth, all you need is assurance. You need a guarantee that this will work with little to no consequences. Natasha needs to be safe from any possible downfalls. Your new found friends and family can’t be in harms way at all. It’d be ideal to save yourself. 

Part of you knows that if you have to sacrifice yourself to ensure Natasha gets everything she could ever want, you will. Insane really, since your point is to not lose her, but if it meant her happiness it’d be worth it. 

Lost in thought, you don’t pay attention to the door that opens and shuts. Nor do you anticipate the presence of the blonde behind you.

“I have to say, I’m surprised you’ve been so quiet about all of this.”

Turning around, your eyes trail over Steve’s tall and muscular form. You sigh and face forward again.

Steve moves to sit beside you,“ I didn’t miss what you said at Tony’s. And I don’t know much of anything about your past, still I assume you’ve gone through a lot so risking what you have now with Natasha isn’t ideal.”

You scoff,“ ideal? No Steve, it’s not an option. Don’t get me wrong, I want to help bring everyone back, I lost people too, but we don’t even know if this will work. Tony had a point, multiple ones but mainly, what if we screw everything up even worse than it already is.”

“We can’t focus on the negative side of this-”

“You won’t even consider the negative side. Optimism is nice but not blind optimism. If you expect me to even begin to trust this plan I need you to be realistic.” 

His crystal blue eyes follow you as you stand and step away from the ledge. He follows, crossing his arms as he stands in front of you. 

“Be real with me and yourself, right here, right now. How confident are you that this works?”

Instead of an instant reply, Steve takes a deep breath, his shoulders moving as he releases it. You don’t miss the way his fingers rapidly tap against his arm.

Finally he speaks,“ I can’t promise that things won’t change. I can’t promise that there won’t be risks. All I know is that we have to try, if we don’t we’re no better than every bad guy I’ve crossed.” 

A moment of silence. You process his words, observe the honesty in them and even the slight bit of hesitation that displays in his eyes before he looks away. 

“Look, Steve, you’re a good guy and you’re a hero through and through. I’m sure there’s no shortage of sacrifices you’d make to save the world, but,” running a hand through your hair, you take the smallest of steps forward,“ if there’s even the slightest chance that something happens to Natasha I’m out.”

He looks up at you, not expecting what’s been implied by you. 

Yes, you’re willing to try. No, you didn’t expect to cave to quickly. You blame those steely blue eyes.

A breath of relief leaves him and he nods. With that established between you two, you leave the roof. 

Inside the compound you go your separate ways, your destination being the lab. 

Surprisingly, you don’t find Bruce there, which you’re partly grateful for. Being left with your thoughts now isn’t so bad, in fact it helps you work better. 

Your current project is a new suit for Natasha. 

It’s inspired by Tony’s suit. The nanotech sits in the Black Widow symbol of her belt and is activated with a simple touch. You made sure to keep it as form fitting as possible so it doesn’t hinder her speed or agility. 

Instead of repulsor beams like Tony’s suit, it shoots electricity, mimicking the voltage of her widow’s bites. You maintained the same durability, adaptability, and power that Tony’s suit has. Not being as clever as Tony the A.I. you created was simply named Assist and doesn’t stand for anything.

Lastly ensuring that it’s fitted with Natasha’s go to weapons: a staff/batons and the standard pistols. 

You’re in the lab well into the early hours of the next morning and the lack of your presence isn’t unnoticed by Natasha.

Despite having been in deep conversation with Bruce and Scott about the upcoming time travel test, she went to search for you.

She hadn’t realized how much she actually missed your presence until she started looking for you. When she finally gets to your lab there are tears in her eyes. 

Her sniffle grabs your attention. You’re instantly on alert, completely disregarding your work to focus all your attention on your girl.

“What’s wrong love?” You reach for her hands, slowly just in case physical comfort isn’t what she wants.

Instead she steps into your body, wrapping her arms around you and pressing her face against your chest.

“I miss you.” 

You just barely catch her words but your heart tugs at the sad tone of her voice. 

“I didn’t mean to be away from you so long Tash, I’m sorry.” Stroking her hair, you glance at the clock that reads three eleven.“ How about we get to bed yeah?”

She nods against you,“ can we get ice cream first?”

With a chuckle you agree to it.

A couple hours later, after ice cream and a much needed sleep, you regroup in the empty hangar of the compound. 

You clutch a cup of coffee in your hands, standing behind Natasha and away from the equipment. The sun pours light through the floor to ceiling windows, agitating your groggy state, as the coffee has not taken full effect yet.

Your forehead rests on your wife’s shoulder as she taps away on the tablet in her hands, simultaneously speaking with Scott and Bruce about the plan. 

Eventually they’re ready, running a check of all operations. For some reason you feel like they’re missing something but your brain isn’t functioning at full speed just yet.

Who’s idea was it to do this at seven in the morning?

“Okay, here we go.” Bruce speaks up, causing you to stand up straight and sip your coffee.“ Time travel test number one. Scott, fire up the uhhh, the van thing.” 

Taking a quick second to gather yourself, you roll your shoulders, and move to stand beside Natasha just before Steve comes back in, letting you all know that he’s set the breakers and back up generators.

“Good. 'Cause if we blow the grid, I don't wanna lose Tiny here in the 1950's.”

A laugh falls from you before you can stop it but you instantly shut up as Natasha levels you with a look. Then she, Steve, and Scott look at Bruce concerned.

“Excuse me?” Scott ceases to adjust his suit.

Natasha shakes her head,“ he's kidding. You can't say things like that!” She tries to give a reassuring smile to Scott.

“Jus- it was a bad joke.” Bruce fumbles, obviously having meant it.

“You were kidding, right?” Natasha asks after Scott turns away.

“I have no idea. We're talking about time travel here. Either it's all a joke, or none of it is.” The green man whispers before looking to Clint,“ we're good! Get your helmet on, Scott. I'm gonna send you back a week, let you walk around for an hour, then bring you back in 10 seconds. Makes sense?”

Safe to say Scott is confused by that, but a little bit of encouragement from Steve has him ready to go. 

With wide eyes, you watch the failure of a time travel test. Scott went in, only to come back as a child, an old man, and then a baby. Natasha and Steve look on in shock, before panicking and telling Bruce to bring adult Scott back.

“Y/N when I say so, kill the power.”

Nodding, you head over to the lever. Bruce presses some buttons then shouts now. You flip it and normal Scott reappears.

“Time travel!” Bruce exclaims, arms wide.

Everyone looks at him.

Shaking your head, you start to walk away,“ I need more coffee.”

Natasha starts to follow after you as Steve leaves to get air. 

Once the two of you are in the kitchen and you’ve refilled your coffee, you turn to Natasha.

Her emerald eyes look incredibly tired and she’s slouching. You’d thought this new found plan would ease her stress but she seems to be fairing exactly as she had in the past weeks.

You set your cup down, walking closer to her, and sliding your hands over her hips.

“I feel stupid for asking but, how are you?”

She leans into you,“ I don’t want to think what’ll happen if this doesn’t work.”

You nod, pressing a kiss to the top of her head,“ then don’t. There’s no reason to give up hope just yet.”

It’s quiet for mere seconds, and then-

“Well aren’t you two the perfect picture of love.”

Tony’s voice never ceases to make you roll your eyes. If you didn’t already like him you’re sure you’d have punched his cheeky ass a long time ago.

“Of course we are.” You look over at him,“ what’re you doing here?’

“Just sticking around so I can take all the credit when we save the universe.” He smirks.

Natasha perks up at that, suspecting that the genius has figured it out. His seemingly permanent knowing and cocky smirk tells you that he did.

******

Taglist: @thelastavenger-3000 @aaron-despair @messuhp@izalesbean @bvb-bk @username23345 @sighsam@confusinggemini612 @natasha-danvers @rileigh519@higherfurther-romanova  @dynnealberto

[enchantedlokii]

Demons

Prologue

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of depression

Characters: Peter Parker

Mentioned: Richard Parker, Mary Parker, May Parker, Ben Parker, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Adrian Toomes, Pepper Potts, Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, Stephen Strange, Thanos, Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, Happy Hogan, Morgan Stark, James Rhodes

Anyone who knew Peter Parker knew that death followed him like a shadow. It started when he was just six years old when his parents died in a plane crash. They were secret agents, he knew now that he was older. Most likely, it wasn’t an accident, but there was nothing he could do about it. The case had closed years ago, and he wouldn’t even know where to start when it came to looking for suspects. He couldn’t even be sure that whoever had done it was still alive. Most likely it was a suicide mission. That didn’t make it hurt any less.

He knew that his Aunt May and Uncle Ben, whom he had been staying with when the accident occurred, hoped he wouldn’t fully understand what had happened, but Peter was smart for his age. He knew that his parents were dead. He knew that they were never coming home. He knew that this wasn’t supposed to happen. And he knew that the pain in his chest was something he had never felt before and hoped he would never feel again.

For eight years, Peter got his wish. He still felt the heartache that lingered over his parents every now and then, but he loved Ben and May like they were his father and mother. He knew that they loved him like he was their son, too. He was grateful for them, and he was so glad that they had taken him in so quickly. They had been there during his darkest days, and he knew he could never thank them enough.

Peter was fourteen when his next tragedy came. Him and Ben had gone out for ice cream. It had been a bad day at school, and Ben insisted. Peter’s newly acquired Spider-Sense told him it was a bad idea, but he pushed it away. He didn’t quite understand his powers yet, and Ben didn’t know about them. He couldn’t just tell his uncle that his gut was saying they shouldn’t go get ice cream, but he wish he had at least tried.

The two hadn’t been there five minutes when the store was robbed. Peter has begged Ben to stay out of it, but his uncle was a cop. He pulled his gun on the man and the man shot him with his own. A scream had ripped through Peter’s throat as he rushed over, desperately trying to stop the bleeding. Ben had tried to comfort him, running a hand through his hair and whispering soft words to him, but Peter was devastated. Because the blood wasn’t stopping and Ben was getting weaker and he could hear his heartbeat fading away.

He didn’t think it could get any worse, but the cry that May had let out when the cops brought him home and explained what happened broke him again. They had sobbed together on the couch, neither of them getting a wink of sleep that night. For days, Peter didn’t want to do anything but lay in bed and try to sleep without getting terrible nightmares of watching his uncle die in front of him again and again. He only snapped out of it when May tried to comfort him. She was the one who had just lost her husband, and she was comforting him. He decided that if for no other reason, he had to be strong for her. At first that was the only reason, but then he made the decision to start experimenting with his new powers and took on the role of Spider-Man.

Spider-Man was how Peter officially met Tony Stark. He never ended up mentioning the fact that they had met, albeit very briefly, at a Stark Expo years ago. He doubted the man remembered the scrawny kid who was dumb enough to try to shoot down a drone with a toy repulsor. Even if he did, it would be an embarrassing story to tell.

He would never forgetting coming home from school one day and finding the man talking with his aunt on their living room couch, acting like it was no big deal. Then, Tony had admitted he knew that Peter was Spider-Man — Peter never asked how he figured it out — and asked him to go to Germany with him to fight against Captain America.

At first that was the only connection they had. Tony kept his distance after Germany, and Peter didn’t blame him. He was sure he had blew it after the whole Vulture incident. He had been terrified the man hated him, but when he found the brown bag on his bed with his suit inside, he couldn’t help but be hopeful. Sure enough, that led to many more training sessions and days in the workshop. Peter had been invited to the man’s penthouse. Had actually stayed the night in the guest room a few times. They said that it was nothing more than a mentor-mentee relationship, but Peter was starting to notice the differences in how Tony treated him. Pepper, too. They had even invited him to their wedding, and that’s when Peter was sure that they were at least starting to see him as something more than the annoying Spider-Kid who kept almost getting himself killed.

Then, the Snap happened. Peter didn’t hesitate to swing off the school bus when he saw the spaceship. He had a gut feeling that Tony was there, and he had felt a knot in his stomach when his mentor had nearly been hit by a flying piece of metal that he managed to swing in and stop.

Later, as he was clinging to the edge of the spaceship and started to grow dizzy from the thin air, he was sure he was going to fall to his death, but Tony promised he would catch him and he did. Peter knew that the man wanted him to go home. He wanted him to be safe, but Peter couldn’t leave. He knew that he wouldn’t be much help against the aliens, but he knew he would never forgive himself if he had stayed home and something happened to Tony.

Then, on Titan, he watched as Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, and Dr. Strange disappeared in front of him. He felt pain overwhelming his body as his healing factor tried to stop his death. He could feel his hands growing numb, and panicked filled his chest. He had begged Tony to help him even though he knew there was nothing he could do. He could faintly remembering apologizing. For what, he wasn’t sure. He wanted to say it was for sneaking onto the ship. For disobeying him. For anything that happened that day. Deep down, though, he knew it was because he kept remembering the day of the ferry.

“And if you die, I feel like that’s on me.”

The next thing Peter remembered was waking up on Titan. Dr. Strange had explained that it had been five years before teleporting then to Earth, where they were immediately thrown into a fight. A fight that ended when Tony used the Infinity Stones to destroy Thanos’ army.

Peter knew immediately what was happening. He could feel it. Even before he rushed over, he knew that Tony was dying. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to talk to him. He had heard him try to say something to him upon seeing him crying, but he had been too weak.

Once again, Peter has been shadowed by death. He blamed himself. Because that was the one thing that they all had in common. His parents, Ben, Tony. They were all connected to him. In his mind, it seemed like he had to be the reason. It had to be his fault.

That’s why he hated to keep going. He kept wondering who would be next. Aunt May? Ned? Michelle? He didn’t want to lose any of them, but he knew it was inevitable.

He was terrified when Happy started coming around. When he explained that Pepper wanted him to be in Morgan’s life. That Tony would want him to be in Morgan’s life. Happy wanted him around. Pepper wanted him around. Morgan wanted to get to know him. Even Colonel Rhodes had made the comment that he hoped Peter would stop by sometime.

Peter was torn. Because he wanted to be around people who cared for him. He needed love and support more than anything right now, but he was terrified. He was tired of the shadow of death. He was tired of losing everyone he loved.

He couldn’t let it happen again.

[lovelyirony]

I just came here to say, can you imagine after endgame Sharon finds Nat's white suit in her belongings and decides to wear it and make it her own as a reminder of what she lost and what is left to fight for?

When Sharon Carter first came to SHIELD, she wanted to be just like the other agents. 

And yet that was hard for her. It was hard to act like every other agent because she wasn’t like the other agents and they knew it. 

She had someone in the organization before her. That’s why she was Agent 13. There were always members of family, but it was usually only the agents that either posed an individual danger or a family danger that got the number. 

In the first two weeks, the rookies had figured out that Sharon and Peggy shared the same harsh gaze when they were frustrated. 

They scorned her, leaving her to fend for herself. 

“You got in because of Carter,” they sneer. “I’d rather have someone who actually earned their spot.” 

“Even if that did happen, do you think my aunt would’ve let me into this profession if I wasn’t as skilled as you?” Sharon fires back. “I can finish this mission in twenty minutes on my own if I really wanted to.” 

“Then do it,” Agent Riker bites, smirking. “Go ahead and prove yourself, Thirteen.” 

Nineteen minutes and twenty-two seconds. 

And she does it all in a white t-shirt and jeans, the worst outfit that could’ve been. 

“So what, you’ve proved yourself,” they shrug. “Doesn’t make a difference to us.” 

So Sharon scraps the idea of having people who are friends at work, friends that she can talk to and go to the bar with after work. 

And then she does perhaps the ballsiest move. 

She orders a custom white jumpsuit. 

The SHIELD tailor laughs. He’s an old man who goes by the name Joe. 

“You’re crazy,” he tells her, sweeping a measuring tape across her shoulders. “Maybe they need a little crazy.” 

Sharon nods, looking at herself in the mirror. 

She shows up to work in white, ponytail out of the way. 

Fury gives her a look. 

“Really, Thirteen?” 

“Everyone’s already criticizing,” Sharon answers. “Why not get some for the suit as well?” 

White really is her color. It’s what she’s known for, and a lot of agents still criticize her for it. 

“You trying to show off even more?” one sneers. 

“Why would I have to after your last mission?” Sharon answers sweetly. “It’s clear to me that you obviously need more tips on how to be inconspicuous.” 

It’s bitchy. She knows that. But she also can’t be bothered to give a shit if they’re judging her by family and not by skill. 

And then Black Widow. 

Natasha Romanoff takes one look her and scoffs. 

“Got something to say?” Sharon asks. 

“I don’t get the white suit.” 

“You will,” Sharon responds. “Just wait.” 

Romanoff hears the rumors. Sharon Carter only got into the organization because of her connection to her great-aunt. 

“You really think SHIELD would be that stupid?” She asks Agent Riker. “To hire an agent off a basis of family? I thought they hired people smarter than you.” 

Sharon’s surprised. 

She also makes her first friend. 

Natasha Romanoff is deadly, has horrible humor, and wears fun socks after Sharon takes her to get some color in her wardrobe. 

“You cannot tell anyone,” Nat makes her swear. 

“Who is there to tell?” Sharon asks, grinning. “Besides Clint.” 

“Clint doesn’t count, I’m not even sure if he’s human. He ate a paper plate because he was too tired to differentiate it from the pizza in the fridge.” 

“I love that man,” Sharon deadpans. “I think if I ever dated men, he would be my type.” 

Natasha laughs. 

They’re friends. Sharon’s there with coffee in the rough mornings and Natasha is there with words that have lost their edge as she sheds her reputation at the door. 

- 

The Avengers is a new thing for Natasha. She loves it because she tells Sharon that it makes her feel like she finally has a family and she’s doing something that’s worthy. 

Sharon ignores the jealousy and envy and sadness burning in her gut as she takes a sip of her wine glass and asks Natasha how it is working with Captain America. 

(She knows who he is. She’s always known. But that kind of connection is one that she’s not sure she’ll ever flaunt because Steve does not know that she knows Steve.) 

Natasha gets more involved with the Avengers and still texts Sharon, but she knows. This friendship is fading and Sharon turns back to a white jumpsuit lying on the couch when she gets home and gets out of her shower. 

Natasha can’t make it to lunch. Or dinner. And their shopping trip gets cancelled by an Avengers mission. 

Then Sharon loses SHIELD, which in some cases was everything to her. It’s the last connection to family, to a place where Sharon did what she did best: her job. 

And now it’s razed to the ground and the Avengers are still there and Natasha--

She has her hands full. 

Sharon bitterly looks up at the sky to see the Iron Man armor and for a brief moment, hates the team that has taken her friend from her. 

But Sharon has shit to do. She has to decide if she wants to work for the FBI or CIA, and which one can offer her more security. 

CIA agents don’t give a singular shit if she came from SHIELD or what her last name means. They’re mostly concerned with making sure that the Congress and the Senate don’t fuck everything up and that they catch whoever the hell is eating all of the leftovers on the third floor fridge. 

Sharon gets paid for this. Real, actual money. 

And they know that she’s good and they send her on protection missions and she misses Natasha’s calls and she doesn’t feel quite bad about it. 

It’s when she’s assigned to survey Germany because some idiot used facial recognition software and Steve’s making boneheaded decisions that she reconnects with Natasha. 

“Your hair got longer,” Natasha says. 

“Nice of you to notice,” Sharon says tersely. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re about to be in? You won’t be able to go anywhere.” 

“Anywhere, really?” Natasha asks, amused. “I’m sure I can think of someone who would welcome me back with open arms.” 

“Clint doesn’t count,” Sharon fires back. 

“Not who I meant.” 

“I know exactly what you meant,” Sharon says. “No calling, no plans, all of it cancelled. You’re a family kind of girl, Nat.” 

“You’re part of it.” 

Sharon turns, incredulous. “Really. You’re doing this now?” 

Sharon knows Natasha like she knows her apartment. She could walk it with her eyes closed. And she knows that Natasha is never this open, not in public. 

“Either you’ve changed how you approach your emotions or you’ve gotten sloppy in how you manipulate people,” Sharon says, casual as can be. “I know that you want to go against this. I understand that because chances are later on down the road this will blow up in your face.” 

“And now you’re going to pretend like you didn’t slip that file to Steve?” Natasha accuses. 

“I slipped it to Steve because as much as I don’t like this, I don’t want an innocent man to die,” Sharon hisses. 

She has her white jumpsuit. But she hangs it up in her closet because for something like what they’re planning, she can’t afford to be in white. This isn’t like the twenty minute missions. 

And then it gets more serious and she’s fighting like hell against Thanos and his aliens and the fact that everyone is gone. 

But not Natasha. Not she’s still on this earth and Sharon knows it kills her because she’s never thought she was enough for that. 

They make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and sit on the floor in a sunroom. It’s a beautiful day, probably one too beautiful for how many memories they both hold. 

“I don’t know if it’ll be okay,” Natasha says. Her voice is thick with unsaid and unheard emotion, and Sharon pulls her into a hug. 

“It might not be,” Sharon says quietly. “But we’ll have to keep going anyway.” 

So Sharon is introduced to Steve, the guy with a beard who still keeps fighting and looks at Sharon as if he’s expecting someone else. (She pretends like she doesn’t know what he’s doing.) 

She starts looking at sightings and patterns and helps people who she’s never met help keep the world safe. 

Natasha and Sharon tell stories to each other of people they’ve known. Sharon listens as she grieves and Natasha finds out that Sharon’s own family has been gone. 

They spend Christmas together and Christmas kind of sucks right now because everyone is crying and the only thing that’s sold out at stores are tissues. 

Sharon wonders if Tony got dusted. No one knows. He was up in space and they haven’t found him yet and she can’t say it doesn’t hurt. 

But then. He comes down in his spaceship, Carol Danvers finding him on the verge of death. 

He can’t stand the sight of Steve, and Sharon can’t say he blames him. She’s in charge of getting him to in-house care and making sure he doesn’t stray off the nutrition goal. 

Pepper and Rhodey sit by his side all the time and they give Sharon looks because she’s Tony’s cousin but not really, not in the sense of a traditional cousin. 

She met him that one time when he was probably a little bit buzzed, definitely over having small children look up to him and ask if they can have him play, and probably brushed her off. 

Or something. 

He’s angry with Steve and tells Sharon right off the bat that he refuses to have anything to do with what’s going on. 

“This is my second chance and as shitty as it is for all of you, I’m keeping it,” Tony says firmly. 

Sharon says okay because she really can’t blame him. 

(Not when six months after he gets back and gets himself better, Pepper announces that she’s expecting.) 

Sharon visits often. She brings Pepper her first supply of diapers and formula and Pepper smiles and says she’s welcome for lunch if she’d like. 

Natasha doesn’t talk to Tony. Sharon thinks she kind of resents her own position in this whole thing, but Tony nods to her and they understand each other on a level that’s changed. 

“Do you think you’ll ever want a family?” Natasha asks one night. They watch the stars and come up with new names for them and sometimes talk about emotions. Like tonight. 

“I’m not made for that,” Sharon says. “Work and all.” 

“Me either.” 

Sharon looks at her. 

“No, you are. Because you care so much. You just learned it a little bit differently. You’ll get your family, Nat.” 

Natasha gives her that pained smile, the one that holds so much wisdom and hurt in it, and they drink their beers in silence as Sharon contemplates the next mode of questioning that doesn’t have to do with loss or the future. (Possibility: cats.) 

And then Scott Lang makes a fucking appearance. They’re not sure how, but he gets out and starts rambling about time travel and they take it to Tony who says “no thank you and goodbye” and Steve tries to get him to help but he won’t. 

(It’s bitter in Sharon’s mouth, but it’s the kind of bitter you understand that you can’t spit out.) 

Natasha thinks about all the people that are lost. 

Sharon asks Scott how well he can do math. 

Tony passes along a note, and it seems that Scott gets it, because they’re going to time-travel. 

Clint and Natasha leave together, because they’re like two peas in a pod. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Natasha says, grinning. Her smile is so nice. 

“You better,” Sharon teases. “We still need Margarita Mondays.” 

And then Sharon is also gone on a mission to go see her aunt and see Steve witness what he’s lost. Sharon looks at a young picture of her great-uncle. 

“She had a good life, didn’t she?” Sharon murmurs. “She got to have somebody she loved and she got to have kids.” 

“Yes, yes she did,” Steve says quietly. 

It’s heavy for him but he relaxes and they run into Howard Stark, who doesn’t quite understand why Sharon’s there but doesn’t really push it because he’s excited for a new baby. 

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for that baby,” he says with a gentle smile that’s so fake Sharon can’t believe it. 

So she says something. Because she can’t keep her mouth shut. 

“You practice that every night in front of the mirror?” 

Steve scolds her, but she thinks it’s worth it. She can’t wait to tell Natasha. 

- 

Natasha doesn’t come back. She died for a fucking rock and Sharon breaks because that was her friend. That was someone that she would’ve given the world for, and now she won’t get to tell her about her sick one-liner or about how time travel kind of feels like you’re going on a loopy roller coaster. 

She’s gone. 

But then Sharon can’t focus on it because she has to fight against Thanos who apparently is from a different time zone and has come to destroy everything again, and Sharon really can’t let Tony do his whole “self-sacrifice” shtick he pulls. (Jesus, if he couldn’t have just pulled a Dean Martin maybe they would’ve had televised roasts instead of a universal fight...) 

Tony doesn’t die. She doesn’t think he deserves that. But he falls to his knees, the stones fading, and she’s holding him to stabilize him as he falls and his family comes and he gets rushed to the nearest medical facility Dr. Cho can find. 

And Sharon is alone. 

She doesn’t particularly like being alone in this instance but sometimes you have to be because those are the cards out of the deck. 

So she helps relocate families, tells those who were gone the news, and buys herself a pint of ice cream. The news is talking about all these new accommodations and what it’ll do to the price market. She finds that she doesn’t much care and she thinks that all those conversations will be a thing of the past. 

And there things to go through. Things from the dead. Clint has his family to focus on, and so it is up to Sharon to get Natasha’s things. 

Then she finds it. 

A white jumpsuit. 

Natasha had called Sharon’s “stupid” for years, with no real explanation to why except for the fact that she would get caught easier. 

(“Maybe that’s my intention,” Sharon says, body leaning in too close. “Maybe I want to get noticed so that I can get it done quicker.” 

Natasha gives her a dim smile. 

“Doesn’t always mean you get the job done as quickly and efficiently as possible.” 

And then Sharon didn’t ask her about that. Figured it wasn’t her place.) 

A white jumpsuit is something she didn’t know connected them. And she remembers having her own, but this one...this one has to be used. Has to be reinstated because someone needs to carry on who Black Widow is. Or rather, who Natasha Romanoff was. 

It’s a slow start. But Sharon starts wearing the white jumpsuit that’s a little bit loose around the shoulders and looks for criminals, because god knows there will be a plethora of those. 

Bucky and Sam join her in this. They were both gone and still look stupidly gorgeous, although Sam has the shield because Steve has decided it would be utterly convenient to go on a little time travel trip. 

(Sharon’s not sure what’s up with that, but so long as she doesn’t start remembering a Great-Uncle Steve, she’s fine with it.) 

It’s hard, definitely. Because sometimes she pulls out her phone to send something to Natasha, and she’s...well. She’s not there. 

Sharon will sometimes wear her old jackets with outfits and cry, but she still has the memories. 

A cute white jumpsuit can’t hurt either. 

[phantomchick]

Tony Stark Fic Recs

Burning Candles - by kerravon Hurt/comfort, exhaustion, concussions, hurt tony, steve is a bro, nick fury being morally shady, the avengers! Summary: A few months have passed since the Avengers fought the Chitauri, and the team is coming together, except for Tony, who seems to be coming apart. At first, Steve assumes that he's just being irresponsible and annoying, but then JARVIS clues him in.

Fifth Time Lucky - by Arkada oneshot, fluff, this fic is short, sweet and a lot of fun. Well worth the read. Summary:  Tony Stark has five soulmates, but he gave up on finding any of them a long time ago.

Hide A Heart Of War - by RayShippouUchiha Tony Centric 2 chapter fic. Flower soul mark au. EXCELLENT ANGST.  Lots of feels, there’s also a slow burn romance in the background. Rhodey is a good bro. Loving all the descriptions of the soulmarks. Summary:  “You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.” Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

The (Not So) Great Pretender - by RayShippouUchiha Complete, secret identities, tony/bucky which i don’t usually ship but hey this author really makes it worth it. Oblivious Avengers. Hilarious but also angsty? Summary: Basically no one believes Tony when he tells them he’s Iron Man so he’s just... reluctantly keeping his secret identity going? It’s super funny.

To Victor Goes the Spoils - by tisfan Tony Stark/Victor von Doom, 10 chapters, complete, secret identities. Summary: In which Doom finds himself at a super hero masked ball... and gaining the attentions of the handsome and charming Tony Stark...Just one dance... just one kiss... before Doom unleashes his evil plot. Backstory: I accidentally stumbled on this doom x iron man fic so i thought i’d read it for laughs but then the fic itself was really good and I was suckered into shipping it. Now I’m in rarepair hell. The end. 

Iron Man Yes, Tony Stark...Not Recommended - by lilsmartass Gen. Complete. 9 chapters. Angst, lots of angst. Hurt/comfort. Unintentional bullying. Rhodey is the captain of the tony stark defence squad. AND HE WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE. Summary: Clint and Steve have both seen Natasha’s report on Tony and expect him to be a certain way. With Pepper now out of the picture, Bruce in India and Thor is Asgard they have no one to show them just how wrong first impressions can be.

That Which Kills Us - by Ironlawyer Ultimates!verse, steve/tony, oneshot, internalised homophobia, Tony is not a good patient. Summary: Sometimes Tony hates being alive as much as he hates dying. Trying to juggle duties to The Ultimates and a terminal illness isn’t exactly easy. Throw in an irate Steve Rogers and things just get too damn complicated.

Doomed To Failure - by DobbyRocksSocks Oneshot, excellent content, i read this fic and then i had to sit in my chair and be like ‘whoa’ for a while. This au is very well done! Summary: Everyone is born with their soulmate on one wrist, and their mortal enemy on the other. What do you do when it's the same person?

Say Goodbye to Yesterday - by melonbutterfly 4 chapter fic, complete, time loop, team building, alien invasion. time travel is a trope i keel over for this you must learn. Summary:  The day after the invasion Tony wakes up and his tower is intact again; everything is exactly the way it was before this whole mess went down. 

Don't Bet Against the House - by AlexTheShipper 2 chapter fic, complete, protective Jarvis, team dynamics, fluff Summary:  In which jokes about the arc reactor are not taken lightly, not by JARVIS who will never again sit trapped in his servers as someone attempts to kill Sir.

From A to Z - by Rachel500 26 chapter fic.Complete. Very very good, *sips fruit juice out of my champaigne glass* a classic of the genre! I’m a sucker for time travel as a trope, pair that with fixing the disaster that was the mcu chronology? BUDDY I’M SOLD.\ Summary: “OK, hypothetically, you get sent back in time one year. Does that make a difference?” Strange asked. “Two? Three? Could you live through the worst experience of your life again to preserve enough of the timeline to continue? Could you stand aside and let someone you love live through a bad experience in their life?” “OK. I get it. Bad idea.” Tony smirked at Strange to cover for his unease. “So. Plan B?” Strange grinned but there was a serious glint in his eyes. “How about we make it plan Z?”

Acceptable Risk Is Not - by izumi2 Super bamf tony, oneshot, Maria Hill redemption arc. Captain america the winter soldier. Not steve friendly but this can be blamed on the plot of the movie making zero sense with hindsight. Summary: what if someone considered an alternate solution to the data drop?  THIS IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE FICS FOR REASONS SO PLEASE TRY IT.

The Course of Reason - by Infie Oneshot, aftermath of captain america civil war, Carol Danvers is a relateable ho whom I stan, the saltiest of all possible responses to that film. YESSSS. This is it. The fic that finally knocked me over the edge onto the civil war team iron man side of the fence. BEHOLD. It’s greatness. Summary: The UN has asked Tony to discuss their options with the Fugitive Avengers. It does not go the way they expect it to.

Uncompromising Principles - by Kizmet 19 chapter fic, it’s completed and it’s very well done, legal drama, Tony/Pepper, Steve is... a good person who made mistakes, he’s trying anyway, i can’t say more without spoilers, but it’s A Ride, like you’ll read this and it’ll make you have Feelings and Thoughts and it’s very clever in how it goes about making those Feelings and Thoughts happen. Captain America: civil war aftermath fic. Summary: After leaving Siberia Captain America begins his plans to overturn the Accords. But not all is as it seems.Not compliant with the end of "Civil War".

To intervene - by apathyinreverie Currently at 15 chapters, ongoing, a lot of fun, tony stark has a heart, tony and rhodey, civil war team iron man, mutant kind, pro accords. Summary: The one where Rhodey stages an intervention after the whole Ultron fiasco.

Veni, Vidi, Amavi - by Maedlin Treat yo’self. It’s a Time travel fic. ONE OF THE BEST: Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf Jarvis, Palladium Poisoning, Complete, 26 chapter fic, but you’ll wish it was longer by the time you’re done. (Luckily there’s an ongoing sequel series to enjoy!) THIS FIC IS SUPREMELY GOOD! And HEAVY on the Jarvis love! DO YOURSELVES A FAVOUR AND TRY IT SERIOUSLY YOU WON’T REGRET READING THIS. Highest of recs goes to this. Summary:  (We came, we saw, we loved.) Tony's not the hero type. To suggest otherwise would be outlandish and fantastic, clearly.  Yet somehow, he's the one that's responsible for saving the universe. Now, he's a decade in the past. He's just revealed to the world he's Iron Man.  Tony finds himself facing dozens of old problems, and as time passes the ripple effect of his presence generates ever more new issues. All the while, the impending threat of Thanos looms ever-closer.

With One More Try (Can We Start Again) - by Infinite_Monkeys 5 Chapter fic, and it’s Completed. Time travel fix it, not strictly tony stark-centric but still a firm fave, A masterpiece. Definitely in my top 5 time travel fics and i’ve read a LOT so that’s saying something! Contains: That Good Loki Content. Summary: Loki's attempt to conquer Earth has, to his great dismay, succeeded spectacularly. When Thanos sends him to collect the Time Stone, he strikes a deal with the Stone's keeper: He'll be sent back to the beginning of the invasion, and this time, armed with knowledge about his opponents, he can lose properly. Or: a time loop fic in which Loki does increasingly desperate things to try and get the Avengers to defeat him already.

(Science) Bros before (HYDRA) Hoes - by Kizmet Tony is the captain of the Bruce Banner defence squad, Legal Shenanigans, It’s marked as Ongoing but what’s there is satisfying enough on its own I promise, basically a huge callout for Johannesburg, Hulk deserves a hug. Summary: The Hulk isn’t taken from the planet after AoU, there’s no one conveniently out of reach to take the fall for Johannesburg… A choice is going to have to be made: Wanda or the Hulk. 

A Larger Matter - by TheSovereigntyofReality Oneshot. Consequences! The ‘Steve’s blood’ scene in the agent carter tv show always pissed me off so this fic was uh Cathartic shall we say, but honestly you can read it and have it make perfect sense even without having seen the show, Howard Stark, teenaged Tony, Team Stark. Woohoo. Summary: When Peggy Carter tipped out Steve's blood, she had no idea the hornet's nest she just kicked.

Who in their Right Mind... - by AnonEhouse Crackfic, Oneshot Summary: Dum-E saves the universe

Catching Butterflies - by GremlinSR Ongoing, 6 chapters and counting, very very good content, like you wouldn’t think so from the summary which is a little bland but it’s actually very very good. Believe me when I tell you: It contains The Good Stuff. Time Travel fix it, Bamf Tony Stark, Bamf yet confused T’Challa. Summary: Tony snaps his fingers...and wakes up five days before the events that led to the death of JARVIS and the creation of Ultron. He decides he won't let the future he lived come to pass, no matter how thoroughly he has to destroy the timeline.

The War is Far From Over Now - by Dont_call_me_Carrie Ongoing, 40 dhapters and counting, this fic is clearly the author’s baby and they put so much work into it so watching it grow is a pleasure. Protective Jarvis, Protective Stark Industries Employees who like their boss. Rhodey is a good Bro, Awesome Pepper Potts. Fix it via Accidental World Domination. Summary: In which Tony does not, in fact, intend to take over the world.... unfortunately, everyone else missed that particular memo.

Can I Quote You On This? - by Wix Oneshot, Mcu critical, Avengers Critical, salty, extremely salty. Uncovering Plot Holes is easy when the road’s full of them. Summary:  Christine was sent in to just do a puff piece about the Avengers. What she uncovers instead is so much more interesting.

Strong Enough to Bend - by Kizmet Oneshot, salt and shade, tony stark & steve rogers, the author has Opinions about mcu steve so if that’s not your thing i wouldn’t rec it, not steve friendly? Summary: Steve ‘watches’ the videos on Tony Stark that Shield provides him with

Take that Away and What are You? - by Kizmet Oneshot, kidnapping, bamf tony stark, not steve friendly, I love this fic Summary: Tony and Steve get kidnapped. Since Tony’s wearing a tux, Steve figures it’s all up to him to get them out of this mess. Steve never really thought much about the conditions under which Tony built the Mach I.

Facing the devil (and the deep, blue sea) - by petroltogo Oneshot, au, not steve friendly, steve isn’t a good person in this fic, but it’s juicy, soulmate au, soulmarks Summary:  Alternate title: No obvious truth  Post-CACW: In an alternate universe where everyone has the name of their soulmate and the name of their greatest enemy written on their wrists, recently captured ex-Avenger Steve Rogers receives an unexpected visitor two days before the start of his trial. [The trick is figuring out which name is tied to which fate.] [The trick is realising you’ll never know.]

Asking Why - by Kizmet Oneshot. the relief and catharsis of logic. Nat, Hill, Cho, Rhodey and Pepper sit Tony down to talk about what led to the creation of Ultron. Scapegoating is stupid: The Fanfic edition. Summary: Applying analytical techniques in the aftermath of Ultron

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Her eyes, the stars - Bucky Barnes x Reader (Steve Rogers x Reader)

[I know, I am a ghost. Sorry guys. Enjoy.]

The reminiscence of a rose - the single flower that’s so impossible to hate, delicate and pretty, even when it stops blooming. Her voice could calm even the most chaotic oceans, always soothing with soft notes of comfort. Even her eyes could mesmerize the most soulless creature; her sweet face left him dreaming in heartache. On the nights his loneliness stung him harder than cheap liquor; he was always thinking of her. For he reveled in the memory of her heart placed on his hands. As he tried to get drunk on other people’s skin. Yet all that regret still burned his chest. And he realized that he once had the best. Since she loved his highs and lows. He thought about what he once held. He regretted leaving her. But she deserved more than his pettiness and demeanor.

She begged herself to stop loving him.She hated herself for all the mistakes she had made, all those wrong decisions - she blamed him for he made her vulnerable. He was the sun, never really committed to one planet, always dancing around the universe, with bright colors revealing themselves, leaving her in awe. Her heavy blues of night opened to reveal the chariot of the sun lighting up the sky with various shades of yellow and gold. The feeling was almost theatrical and the dramatic intensity was palpable. How could they end up in the same sky, when he was the sun and she was always so fond of the night? They were just celestial objects, trying to find the one perfectly still moment, so they could co-exist in harmony without worrying about nature's balance. That moment had passed them by, ignoring their desperate attempts to escape the chaotic force.She was a whole universe in motion - he had guessed that was why she seemed so tired lately...It must be an exhausting, yet beautiful thing to brush the orbits of all the universes she walked by. He had tried to stop thinking that he made her so unhappy. He couldn't. Instead, he tried to understand her a bit better than before, to get close to her, without hurting her. Again. She was no pawn in his game, she was clever and cunning - but just to hide her true self.

"You think you can define me, that I am a tick in just one box. Like my being is a door that a single key unlocks. But let me tell you something - something I figured out after you broke me. I have the universe inside, I hold an untamed ocean with a constantly changing tide. I'm home to endless mountains with tips that touch the sky, flocks of grand migrating birds and deserts harsh and dry. Please, don't tell me that you know me. That "this right here is what you are", trying to get an old and very dead version of me back. I am the universe in motion, for I was born from the stars" she was talking to him, trying to make a point, to seem sure about what she had become - but she was scared of her heart. Oh, the things it made her do. He wasn't taken aback, which surprised her. He was looking into her eyes, watching the soft colors of the sky fooling around with the dark strokes of her irises. It was true, her eyes held the stars. She closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the swirling feelings inside her. She felt every single cell of her body begging for her to forgive him - there was nothing to forgive, really, for he had done nothing wrong. It was her that could not - would not - handle things. She never saw herself in a relationship - so many obligations. She was not made for ballgowns and parties but for battlefields and saddles.

"I am yours, forever yours… and when the last star of the universe blinks silent, I will still be yours", his answer came naturally to him. It was the most sincere thing he had ever said. He knew her as a sea breeze, but now she met her as a hurricane. So he knew, she needed to be alone. She had been craving freedom so long and he had been blind. He was a liar- he lied to her, to the entire world, to his own self. He wasn't the Golden Boy, people made him to be. He had hurt her in ways he couldn't have imagined before. She softly smiled to his words, because she knew he was being honest. Once upon a time, everything was magical and they were found themselves walking through a chaotic paradise. The entire multi-universe had changed.

"I might have been too harsh, Stevie. Truth is that this, us, has turned to dust right after we were defeated. Five years now, we have been foolish enough to try and make things work. We have been lying to everyone, we want them to move on and be alright when I know that all those sleepless nights we have been thinking of a way to make everything as it was. I also know, and please do not try to deny it, that you are not mine. Not really, not entirely, not ever. For you, it's always gonna be Peggy. Accepting that, was the hardest thing I have ever done". His face twisted in a guilty way. Everything she had experienced for the first time, had been with him. It hurt her but she would move on, find someone else to make her feel alive again.

"I... I am sorry. I love you, you should know that. It's just. I can't shake the feeling… I am so sorry" he calmly apologized to her. He couldn't control his heart.

" And I love you. You can't unlove someone. You can, however, become just friends with them. I wouldn't want to lose you from my life. So... Hey dude" she tried to change the dark and painful situation into something less... 

It all happened so quickly and slow at the same time. It was a disaster and a triumph. Everyone came back - well, not everyone. Once she laid eyes on Bucky, she ran like hell and almost knocked him down as she enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug. How she had missed him - her best friend, companion and well...it would take her a while to admit it but there were butterflies, even though she did push them away every time, convincing herself that it was nothing more.

"I missed you Jay, so damn much" was all that she managed to say before Steve called them to assemble. 

They won. And they lost. All thanks to the amazing Tony Stark. After a horrific scene of Thanos wearing the gauntlet and snapping his fingers - only to realize that Tony had stolen them right on time - everyone's heart fell and crushed and burnt. Yes, Tony defeated Thanos but at what cost?

He had always been the only father figure she knew- if she thought that standing against him with the Sokovian Accords was devastating, this was torture.

When things slowed down, Steve looked at her for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. Her porcelain-like skin was bruised, stained and twisted forming a pained mask, her hands were trembling and she was leaning against his best friend- why was this the first time he was noticing the look on Bucky's face? Why was this the first time he felt that his friend craved to be more than a friend to her? 

Life has a strange way of revealing her secrets, a dark sense of humor. It goes on, like a circular river, never-ending, never resting. After the simple ceremony to honor Tony's memory, she took a step back, asking for a few weeks off of the team to help Pepper and Morgan. All she wanted was to feel normal again. One more task before that though.

Seconds before Steve stepped into that platform to be teleported back in time, she called for him. He knew it and so did she. She had seen it in his eyes after they had mourn Natasha. In all honesty, she understood why - he deserved the life that was taken away from him, without asking him if he liked the alternative options. Bucky knew it. He knew it when he saw him on the blood-stained battlefield. He felt it in their hug. He also knew that she knew- he was the one both her and Steve had asked for help before Thanos. He was the one who swallowed his feelings for her and gave her a friendly shoulder to rest her head. "Thank you" Steve mouthed to her. She smiled, eyes covered in tears threatening to spill. "Go".And he was gone. Bucky gave her hand a gentle squeeze and she turned to face him. Unknown him, she had become aware of his feelings. And her own, slowly but steadily. "A soul that carries empathy is a soul which has survived enormous pain" she softly whispered as if she didn't want to be heard. He felt that she could read his mind. All those years ago, another Bucky had existed- one who flirted shamelessly with everyone. He had to get in touch with him if he wanted a chance with her, he thought, only to be proven wrong after a while. He just had to be himself. 

She had finally realized that Steve and her were exactly like the moon and the sun- and their time together was an eclipse, a breathtaking phenomenon, a glimpse of what it could have been. A moment. And that was okay. She regretted nothing. It was perfect in its imperfection.

She found herself knocking Bucky's door, not knowing why. All she wanted was to see the stars but somehow when she was greeted by sliver blue eyes, the stars seemed inefficient. He was the night, she thought.

"Can I stay here for a while?"... because I am scared when I am alone? He opened up his door to let her get inside because he knew the part of the sentence that left unsaid. His room was warm with a serene view of the night sky. He knew that she loved to gaze the stars, how she would always complain that the moon was a hypocrite. But not tonight. She felt gravitated towards him which made him blush, thankful for the darkness. To say that he hadn't wished for a moment with her, it would be a lie. He was pulled towards her like a magnet and in all honesty, he didn't want to leave far away and get over her.

"Can't sleep?" he asked her in a hushed tone as he laid to his bed, eyes watching her every move. She let a tired chuckle and sat down next to him. He pierced her eyes and she felt naked - and she didn't mind. It was okay for him to see her in all her doomed glory.

"Jay, its past midnight and I’ve pretty much thought of all the words hoping to find something that can remedy this... I can try but my vocabulary falls short when it comes to describing the matters of my heart. My heart. Not yours - mine. I could fill pages about the likes and dislikes of your heart. What makes you tremble what softens you up. I know you like the back of my hand. I know your anger and I know your vulnerability. Vulnerability…. what does that even mean? I guess it happens when you finally take the leap to open up to one who might not ever see you the same again. I guess that your weakness is not supposed to be a different form of feeling when it comes to me. And it isn't. I guess that attachments don’t exist between the two of us. But it does. And I guess, well I guess, that I love you a bit more each day and bit less on the days you choose to ignore me. No, wait, that's a lie. And I know that this is way too forward and yes, he was, is, your best friend, and my ex, which can be a bit awkward -  but you know what? He made a choice, but not before I do. I had already fallen for you and if it's weird -" he did not let her finish. The words coming from hee mouth were burning fires inside his head, for years now. His lips were ever so gently upon hers. It almost didn't feel like a kiss.

In the end, everyone wanted to be like Icarus, hoping to fly high and soar far. Nobody was satisfied with their standing and kept pushing their limits. And that was human...  full of life, blinded, arrogant, wonderful... always falling in the end. But not every fall hurts. She landed softly on his lips, her hands caressing his face and his were holding her tight as if she was a dream and he would soon wake up.

He was the stars and she was the moon. Finally, it worked.

'From stars we came, to stars we'll return and in the middle is all we are'

[lngstoryshrt]

& it burns like a gin and i like it

Pairing: steve rogers x reader

Words: 4216

Warnings: swearing, smut, drinking, mentions of grief

Summary: post-endgame, grief induced arguing and making up

A/N: this is a prompt i did for @starksparker ‘s summer writing challenge! my prompt was “is that my shirt?”. it’s the first thing i’ve posted here and the first thing i’ve written in a loooong time so be gentle please! i want to write more so if anyone has any requests please feel free. (:

It was a funny thing, grief. 

It manifested in different ways for everyone. Peter had taken the weight of the world on his shoulders, Atlas holding up a crumbling sky. Steve had taken over as leader of the Avengers, trying to rebuild a world that had been at the mercy of their enemies. Scott had gone back to his family. Thor had run off to space. And you were doing your best to find the bottom of a bottle. 

You didn’t give a shit anymore. Didn’t care for support groups, didn’t care for holding hands and singing kumbaya and being so fucking happy to be so fucking lucky to still be alive. Your sister was dead - or, the closest thing you’d had to a sister was dead, her blood nothing but a splatter on some fucking stone on some planet you didn’t know existed. The person responsible for plucking you off the street and giving you a home and a team was dead, too - Tony Stark had given everything to save the world from Thanos, and now all you had left was survivor’s guilt and a job you didn’t give a shit about anymore. Or so you told yourself.

Whisky in hand you dropped onto the couch in Steve’s apartment - if such a word could even be used for it. It was massive, bought with the money Tony had left behind for the Avengers. The compound had too many shitty memories, and rather than rebuild they had left it for nature to reclaim and moved themselves back to Manhattan. The penthouse apartment they resided in now was big, and empty, and filled with ghosts. Ghosts that followed them wherever they went. 

“You can’t have whisky for dinner again.” Your eyes rolled automatically, hand twisting the top of the bottle off and bringing it to your lips as you flicked your gaze to the source of judgement. Steve was looking back at you, shoulders tense, back straight, arms crossed over his chest. The bags under his eyes had bags of their own, dark purple maring the normally perfect face that was an ever constant presence in your life. 

You knew he was trying to help - knew that his words were born out of concern, but the fire in you burned stronger than your empathy and you sneered. “I can do whatever the fuck I want, Rogers. We aren’t on mission and you’re not my daddy. I don’t have to do what you tell me.” You watched the muscles in his jaw work, biting down on the warmth that burned through your stomach seeing it. You had eyes - you might hate him right now, but you hadn’t always, and the times that you hadn’t hated him you had spent fantasizing about making him come undone beneath you. 

One hand rubbing over his jaw he took a breath through his nose, centering himself before he looked back at you. He knew you were grieving. Knew that you were struggling with the loss of your best friend and mentor, so he had been trying to give you the space that you needed. But weeks of watching you lose yourself in whiskey and strangers had put him at the edge of his limit. You were going to kill yourself if you didn’t get it together and he wasn’t going to sit around and wait for it to happen. He had lived through enough of it. Crossing the room and snatching the bottle out of your hand he took a step back, screwing the cap back onto it as he looked at you. 

Red filtered across your vision, hands curled into fists as you stood. “You’re such a self-righteous piece of shit, Rogers.” The venom in your voice could kill, your feet carrying you a step forward as you continued to speak, mouth moving of its own accord. “Thinking you’re better than the rest of us, walking around here like you own the place. You don’t say shit about Parker working constantly, running around the city. You didn’t say shit about Thor running away from all of his problems. You - you haven’t even grieved. Do you just not give a shit about Tony and Natasha? Are you just glad that you can be in charge of the Avengers now that they’re out of the picture? Is that what you wanted?” 

The words were a low blow - you knew that the second that they left your mouth, and you couldn’t even blame them on the liquor you’d only taken a sip of. The muscles in his jaw tightened, aggravation flashing across his face. He had been willing to be understanding and supportive, but he had reached his limits. He had loved Natasha and Tony more than anything - he had spent the past few weeks doing everything he could to honor their memory and not fall to pieces every time he thought about their sacrifices and how he hadn’t been able to get Natasha back when he’d returned the stone. 

Slamming the whisky bottle onto the table so hard that it cracked, he moved forward until he stood directly in front of you, forcing you to tip your head back to look at him. Tears were swimming in your vision - you couldn’t fucking stand that you cried every time you got mad - but you blinked them away rapidly, the furious rise and fall of your chest mimicking his. “You get to be angry, but you do not get to insinuate that I am not grieving.” His voice was sharp, angry. You had never heard him like that. “Not all of us have the luxury of drinking ourselves into oblivion every night and falling into bed with the first person we come across.” 

He had the responsibility of running the Avengers Initiative - of trying to rebuild the world that they had saved but left broken, and cracked. He felt responsible, and he couldn’t rest until he knew that he had done everything he could to help as many people as was possible. You - you hadn’t done anything since the funerals. No help, no rebuilding. You had joined the Avengers to do good in the world and make up for your past wrongs, but then you’d lost the only family you had, and you couldn’t care to help a world that had robbed you like that. 

“You’re an asshole.” You spit the words out but they fell flat, tears pushing at your eyes, the pressure building in your sinuses. “I can’t fucking stand you. I want nothing to do with you.” It was a lie - you wanted everything to do with him. Steve had been your rock in the months that you had spent adjusting to being in the compound. He had been there every time you’d woken up, screaming in the middle of the night. He’d been there to bandage your hands or massage a knot out of your shoulders when you trained too hard. He’d been there after Stark’s first party, when pretending you were fine had ended up in one too many whisky sours and you puking your guts up in the first floor bathroom. He’d held your hair for hours before tucking you into bed. 

If you were going to tell the truth, you had always held a softer spot for Steve than the rest of the Avengers. You had helped search for Bucky, had believed him with the Accords. Had chosen to go with him to Wakanda when Bucky couldn’t trust his own mind. You had been there to distract him in the aftermath, had helped him grieve when you’d lost against Thanos and he’d had his best friend stolen from him once again. You would do it all over again, if you had the chance. But right now, you hated him and everything that he stood for. 

He would be lying if he said that the words didn’t sting. There was a part of him that desperately wanted to believe that you didn’t mean them in any way. He had been taking care of you for years - had let you take care of him in the times where he’d pretended that he didn’t need a single thing. You had known, though, that he was lying. That he did need someone. Losing Bucky so many times...it had been hell on Earth. And you had always been there, pressing water into his hand or a plate of warm food, forcing him to take care of himself when he ran himself ragged taking care of the rest of the team. 

He had thought that the feelings he felt for you, unacknowledged though they were, were the same feelings that you felt for him. He had thought that the softness in your eyes when you looked at him meant the same thing that it did when he looked at you in the mornings, hair a mess and eyeliner smudged under your eyes. 

He remembered the exact moment that he’d first realized what he felt for you. You’d had one too many at Stark’s party, trying to burn away the pain he could see in your eyes. He’d followed you to the bathroom when you’d bolted, had held your hair out of your face as you’d lost the contents of your stomach. He’d sat on the cold tile floor with your head in his lap for hours, wave after wave of nausea hitting you until there was nothing left. He’d tucked you into bed after that, and with your mascara rimming your eyes and your body curled in on itself under the blankets he had realized he cared for you far more than he’d thought. That the way he felt about you was different than the way he felt about the rest of the team. 

Jaw clenching, he took a step backwards, putting space between the two of you. Guilt seeped through your chest, and you looked down, eyes burning again, but this time with regret. I’m sorry. The words hovered on the tip of your tongue but you couldn’t say it, teeth latching onto your bottom lip when it trembled. “You can leave at any time. No one’s forcing you to stay here.”

The words hurt - you hoped to God he didn’t mean them, but you weren’t even sure you believed in higher powers anymore, not after all that you’d seen. You couldn’t blame him for saying what he had, not when you deserved that and more for the things that you’d said to him. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Your guard was back up, venom lacing your words as you glanced up at him through wet lashes. “Anyone who gets in the way of the perfect Captain America isn’t worth shit.” 

He lunged forward, hand wrapping around your throat, forcing your gaze to stay on him. You didn’t shy away, didn’t fight him, didn’t move in the slightest. Your breath came out faster, not because you were scared of him, but because of the warmth burning through your veins. A flush spread across your cheeks as you shifted your weight to press your legs together, trying to alleviate the tension between your thighs. 

Your gaze dropped to his lips and you heard him swallow, the sound loud in the quiet of the room. His eyes roved across your face, taking note of where your gaze was before mimicking it, dropping to lips that still had teeth marks from where you’d bitten on it a few minutes before. 

“Don’t be a coward.” You whispered, eyes flicking back up to his, challenge written in every syllable. You wanted this - you needed this. His eyes locked onto yours, fire burning behind cerulean blue before his lips were on yours. It was hard - all tongue and teeth as he pressed against you. You responded in kind, pushing against him, standing on your tiptoes to get closer. Your hands clawed at his back, pulling him closer against you as his hand slid to the back of your neck, thumb against your pulse. 

There was a part of him that felt wrong about this - being goaded into acting the way that he was now, but as his fingers involuntarily tightened against your neck and you moaned, that thought flitted out of his mind. He’d be lying if he said that this was the first time that he had ever imagined what that sounded like, and nothing could have prepared him for the sound of the real thing. It was echoing in his brain, coupled with the sweet taste of you as he kept pressing forward until your legs hit the edge of the couch and you collapsed onto the cushions. 

The weight on him on top of you, pressed between your thighs, had you groaning, the sound muffled against his lips. Your heart was hammering in your chest, the sound reverberating in his ears as he ground his hips against you, cock pressing against his pants, against you, as you moaned in his ear. “Jesus, fuck, Steve.”

He had been waiting for so long to hear you make a noise like that, his hips faltering as he pressed his forehead against yours. “You keep making noises like that and this isn’t gonna last.” His voice was low, gruff, chest heaving as he pulled back to look at you. With your hair mussed and your lips swollen and chapped he thought that he’d never seen anyone who looked more half goddess half hell. 

“We should move anyway. Peter’s gonna be home any second and he doesn’t need to see your face between my thighs - fuck.” His hips rutting against yours shattered your concentration, cutting your sentence off with a weak gasp that left your cheeks flushing. 

Sparing half a moment to stare at you, Steve shifted off of the couch and slung you over his shoulder, throwing the door to his room open and pressing it shut with your body, ensuring that you pressed against every inch of his body on the way down.

There were a thousand things that should be said, a million different words that had gone unsaid for years. The way that you felt about him, the way that you would have given absolutely anything to absolve him of the pain the blip had caused. What you knew, though, was that there had been too many things that you had said in the past few months that couldn’t be absolved by your tongue in his mouth. You had pushed too far - and this was the breaking point. Something you had wanted for years that would never become anything more.

“You gonna fuck me, Rogers, or should I go down the hall and look for Buc-“ His lips crashed against yours, tongue sliding between your teeth, fighting against yours. 

You were so lost in the kiss you didn’t notice his hands at your shirt until he tore it off you, buttons flying across the room as the cold are greeted your bare breasts. The gasp that tore out of you shifted into a high pitched groan when his lips slid down to your neck, nipping hard enough to leave a mark before his tongue trailed down to your chest. 

Alternating between sucking and biting, his fingers dipped under the fabric of your leggings, pulling your underwear down with them. He dropped to his knees, eyes on you the entire time. You raised an eyebrow in challenge, chest heaving as he leaned forward to nose against your thigh. Holding still, you watched him, thinking about all of the times that you had imagined what it would be like to see Steve Rogers on his knees for you. Blonde hair mussed, hands on your thighs holding you up.

Reality was better than anything you could’ve imagined.

Leaning forward, he nosed along your thigh, breathing in deeply. Your breath shook but you didn’t move, though everything in your body told you to move forward and make him move where you wanted him most. He took his time, pressing his lips to your thighs, nipping at the skin above your hip bone, trailing his tongue across the length of your hip. Your breath was coming faster and faster, self-control faltering as you jerked your hips forward, fisting your hands in his hair. “Steve-“

“Beg.” His voice was dry, almost cruel as he flicked his gaze upwards towards you, tongue darting out to tease where you wanted it most, flicking over your clit but withdrawing just as quickly. Your head fell back against the wall, a resounding thud echoing through the room as you scrunched your eyes shut. Everything in you told you to do it, but your pride said otherwise, fighting against begging him for what you want. 

Tugging on his hair to vent your frustration you groaned, one that practically ended in a scream as he leaned forward to bite against your thigh, sucking a mark into the skin as you shifted. “Fuck - goddammit I can’t stand you.”

He chuckled, sliding fingers between your lips, gathering the wetness that was pooling there to tease at your entrance for half a second before pulling away. Taking a deep breath you whined, sliding one hand to grasp at his jaw, forcing him to look up at you.

“Please. Please do something. Make me cum until I don’t know my name. Make me fucking forget, please just fucking do. It.” He leaned forward immediately, hands tightening on your hips to keep you where he wanted you, mouth ravaging you. You groaned, fingers tightening in his hair, your eyes falling shut. This was heaven, this was a blissful oblivion you had never known existed. This was more than you could have ever hoped for, more than you had ever thought possible, his fingers sliding into you as his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking until you saw stars, orgasm crashing over you harder than you thought possible. Your legs gave out, Steve’s hands all that kept you standing. 

It wasn’t until he resurfaced with a shit eating grin that you realized how much noise you were making. Shoving him backwards, you kept going until he collapsed onto the bed in a heap. Your hands went to his belt, undoing it and ripping it through the loops before throwing it across the room. The shattering of glass as it hit a lamp barely registered in your ears as you unbuttoned his jeans, leaning down to lick at the strip of bare skin showing between his jeans and his shirt.

The noise that he made - a whimper that filled the room went straight to your core, your hands moving faster. Tugging his jeans and boxers down your hand immediately wrapped around his length, marveling at the size. “Just get up here.” His voice cracked as he sat up, pulling you into his lap. You slid your hands under his shirt, lifting it up and over his head before colliding your lips with his. It was softer - slower, his hands gliding over your sides before he moved you onto the bed, body pressing you into the mattress. You could feel every inch of him against you, his cock pressing against your thigh. 

All of a sudden you felt like you couldn’t breathe - the weight of what was happening crashing over you like a thousand waves at once. You had thought about this a thousand times - imagine what it would be like to have the great Steve Rogers fuck you until you didn’t know your name. But when he looked at you, fire gone from his eyes and replaced with a gentleness you weren’t prepared for, your heart shattered in your chest. 

You regretted every barb you had thrown his way, ever mean word you had said against him in the months that you had been grieving. Pulling his mouth down to yours you tried to convey those emotions, you tried to show how much this meant with just your lips pressed against his. 

“Are you sure?” He asked you, lips hovering against yours. His eyes shone bright, blue overwhelming you until it was all you could see. 

“Yes.” You whispered, voice cracking with the weight of the word as you slid your hand down his back, pulling him into you as he jerked his hips forward, sliding into you with a groan. A whimper fell from your lips, goading him into kissing you with everything he had.

He kept it slow, ensuring you felt every inch of him sliding in and out of you, breath rushing out of you with whimpers and groans, your nails leaving marks down his entire back. You couldn’t pull him close enough, couldn’t get enough of his body pressed against you. He was swallowing you whole, dragging you down into depths you never wanted to come back from.

His hand sliding between your bodies and circling your clit was all it took for your orgasm to crash over you again, a cry leaving you muffled by his mouth hovering against yours. He swallowed the sounds you made like they were nectar from the Gods, the sounds and the feeling of you tightening around him pushing him over the edge. 

You felt him cum, his teeth latching onto your shoulder, a groan pressed into your skin. The weight of his body on yours was the most comforting thing you had ever felt, your nails lightly trailing against the back of his neck. This was the calm after the storm, the anger drained out of you by the sight of a mussy-haired Steve Rogers looking at you through sated eyes. Pressing a kiss to your lips he shifted, wrapping himself around you from behind and nosing the skin behind your ear. 

He would take this one moment, if this was all he had. He would cling to one night with you and make his peace with it in the morning. But right now, there was nothing that could make him let you go. Sinking into the warmth of his embrace, you gave into the exhausting pulling at your bones, drifting into the first peaceful sleep you’d had in months.

The morning came quickly, your eyes adjusting to the dim early light, trying to make sense of the foreign room and the weight of the arm wrapped around you. Turning, you saw Steve - sound asleep and snoring just barely, his face the most relaxed you’d ever seen it. Sliding out from under his arm you watched him for a moment. 

What you did next would determine everything. You could pretend the night hadn’t happened and go back to hiding in a never ending cycle of grief and hatred. Or you could lean into what was happening, apologize for your wrongs and desperately hope that together you could get through anything. 

Snagging Steve’s shirt from the floor you slipped it over your head and padded into the kitchen, spotting Peter’s bookbag and Bucky’s boots by the door. It was a dysfunctional family - a little traumatized, a little dented. But still standing. 

Spooning coffee grounds into the filter of the coffee maker you whipped together the simplest breakfast you could think of - pancakes. It only took a few minutes to make yours and Steve’s breakfast, setting the rest on a plate in the oven and leaving a note for the rest of the apartment’s inhabitants before you grabbed your breakfast tray and snuck back into the bedroom.

As the door clicked back into place Steve woke, rubbing sleep from his eyes and turning to find you, catching sight of you standing with breakfast clutched in your hands. “Is that my shirt?” His voice was gruff, inquisitive but with a tone of hopefulness in his voice as you stepped closer, maneuvering the tray carefully as you clambered onto Steve’s lap, straddling him and setting the tray into place.

“Apology pancakes.” You told him, tucking a strand of hair behind your hair and picking up your coffee cup, the warmth seeping into your fingertips. “I’ve been a bitch the last few months. I’ve said...so many awful things that you don’t deserve. And last night, I - I went way too far.” The words were spoken into the reflection of your coffee, anxiety setting your heart rate accelerating. 

His face fell slightly, heart sinking as he tried to regain composure. He had hoped that last night had been a breaking point for the dam of emotions between you - that you could be together, that you could fight to make things work together instead of separately. 

Running a finger over the rim of the cup you looked up at him, finally, chewing over your next words. “I have...wanted and waited for you for a very long time. And though last night started...not how I would have expected I still wanted it. I still want - this. If - if that’s something that you want, I -“

Your words were cut off by his lips colliding with yours, a hand sliding into the tangled locks of your hair. You relaxed instantly, a hand leaving your coffee cup to run over the stubble on his cheek. Forehead leaning against yours he breathed slowly, processing the words with a grin slowly sliding over his lips. 

“I’ve wanted you from the first time you told Tony to pull the stick out of his ass.” 

[travelingstar]

Opportunity Chapter 1

Hi there! So before beginning this fic series that I hope to complete and share with others, I just want to say that this idea came from me and @starkravingspiders chatting and we bounced some ideas off of one another and decided to write our own versions of the same rough idea of the story.

Also a bit of a warning this chapter does contain some more mature themes and a good amount of angst, but the story overall does get more happy. Enjoy!

It had been another long day for the 19 year old Peter Parker.

His day had been filled with the usual stress of starting his early in the morning shift at a breakfast diner, turning in his papers, paying attention in class, finding food at the grocery store that he could afford (usually ramen and maybe some pre-made foods if they were on sale), finishing his shift at a cafe downtown and rushing to his job as a pizza delivery guy. Now he just needed to heat up some ramen and get two essays done and he’ll officially be done for today.

He looked down on his badly cracked cell phone to skip to the next song, he didn’t have many since they do cost a bit more than he is willing to pay, and to both check the time and if anyone had called or messaged him.

Peter didn’t know why he was still so hopeful. Afterall, two years ago his life went to shit after Tony had died.

His aunt and friends were happy to have him back, and so was Peter don’t get him wrong.

But sometimes he felt like they were looking at him like he wasn’t really real. At first, Peter thought that this would go away after some months. But they still do look at him like that. After he had graduated high school, Peter rarely gets a text from Aunt May, he would always be the first to make contact, whilst with Ned and MJ, they had already rarely called or texted, which he figures is just because they were now busy with either school or their jobs. He wouldn’t text as much, which just made him feel bad. They probably thought he was a terrible nephew and friend.

And due to the whole five years of absence, it has become hard for him to even make friends since a lot had happened whilst he was gone and after a while he kinda stopped trying since he had to focus on school and making rent every month.

What remained of the Avengers never call or contact him. Peter understood, they all knew Tony much longer than he did and he was just some dumb kid that got carried along by Tony. And since the man is dead, why even get to know some college kid.

Peter shook his head slightly, bowing his head, but still walking. ‘No, I can’t cry. Everyone lost much more than I did.’

The last time Peter saw Rhodey, Pepper and Morgan was at Tony’s funeral. He had tried to give them his condolences, but they didn’t look at him and went inside of the cabin that Pepper owned, whilst carrying Morgan. Morgan did look at Peter, looking confused. She clearly didn’t fully understand why everyone was crying and Peter felt bad for even trying to talk to them. They had lost a long time friend and a child lost her father.

All because of him.

The others at the funeral, except for Aunt May, didn’t talk to him.

He had overheard from Happy that the family had been listening to a recording Tony had left behind and read his will. Peter, almost subconsciously, turned to them and wanted to ask if Tony said anything about him. Anything.

But he had felt a hand clutching his shoulder and he turned around and saw Steve, looking at Peter like he had just hurt someone.

“Look kid, they don’t need to be bothered right now. They just lost a friend and a husband. Just give them some space, okay?”

Peter stood at that spot frozen. He wanted to say something, do something, anything! But he couldn’t. He watched Steve walk towards Bucky and acted like nothing was wrong, whilst Peter felt a fresh pair of tears streaming down his face and feeling that inner voice feeding on those words and just continuing to tell Peter that he was no one and that he shouldn’t bother others. He listened as everyone was talking about Tony for the rest of the service and thinking he had no right being there.

It didn’t help that before Thanos came the first around that Peter had realized that he was starting to crush on Tony.

Sure he always admired the man, but when he had gotten to know him and spend time with him, he started to first crush then fall for the billionaire who would anything for the people he cared for. He loved Tony’s charm, his comments on others he didn’t like, his massive interest in tech and his rambling, oh god his rambling Peter would have listened to for hours and never get tired of the man talk about anything from his latest invention idea to a newly found food joint that he wanted to invite Peter to.

Peter even imagined finally confessing to Tony. He had imagined Tony kissing him, hugging him, taking him out on dates, making out, having his first time with the older man, spending Christmas with him, any scenario that came to mind for Peter he would imagine.

But than Thanos came and took him away from his life for five years and came back to a world without the man he fell for, said man having made a family and having a daughter. Peter felt like he had been forgotten by Tony, but knew that the man probably never liked him like that to begin with and just wanted to be happy whilst he still could with a family he made himself during that time. But Peter could never blame Tony for trying to find happiness after all of that happening.

But Peter would still imagine those scenarios, afterwards however he would be filled with guilt and shame.

SHIELD had since restricted when he can be Spiderman. Peter knew that he was being manipulated into agreeing with them, but in the back of his mind he hears a voice telling him to just give up and to not even try to fight and to let ‘professionals’ handle these situations.

He hated that he couldn’t fight crime.

He saw a mother and child being mugged during his pizza route a couple of days ago and wasn’t able to do anything.

A guy being harassed on the streets some weeks ago and, again, couldn’t do anything.

Peter witnessed a bank robbery taking place whilst getting off his shift at the cafe and he couldn’t stop it.

Sure he could sew together a suit like his first one, but SHIELD would find out and threaten to burn his suit and take him in to be tested.

He doesn’t like to remember that threat.

Happy would now only contact him to tell him that SHIELD wanted him on another mission. Peter knew that this was for his safety, but he felt like that was just a half assed excuse to not have to waste time in talking to him. More often than not, Peter would have to decline the offer since he had to either take a shift and there would be no way of getting out of it without losing his job or had a exam to study or do other schoolwork. Happy wouldn’t reply with much, only really with the occasional comment that would come from Fury that Happy would quote, telling Peter that he needs to do his job and to not throw excuses and waste their time.

Peter let out a shaky sigh and took a deep breath before walking faster home. He figured if he was going to cry, he might as well just go home and do in private without anyone judging him, except for his mind.

But it is telling the truth, so he thinks.

His apartment was in the worst part in Queens. It was the only place that he could’ve afforded and was relatively close to the subway at least. There was a lot of crime going on, but luckily Peter only ever witnessed drug deals and some people chasing someone for ‘money that he owed them’ or something.

The nearby buildings were either abandoned, filled with those living there who could barely afford much like Peter, or were places where criminals would meet up and handle their business there.

Thankfully, Peter had only ran into one once when the other person was high, so Peter was able to quickly escape.

He gets to his apartment and pulls out his keys and unlocks his door to his small as hell apartment. He barely had anything and didn’t want to burden Aunt May by taking anything that wasn’t his. She didn’t make comment on the small pile of belongings Peter had with him before he left Aunt May’s place for college.

Once inside and closing the door, Peter heard something.

Rather someone.

Whistling.

‘Oh cmon, I don’t want to be mugged in my own home or murdered.’, Peter thought to himself, thudding his forehead against the door. He really just wanted to curl up for at least a minute before pulling himself into making some ramen.

Couldn’t he have a moment where things weren’t hectic or made him feel bad?

He figured he might as well face this person and get it over with. After all, the sooner he is done with this, the faster he can make food, finish those essays and than maybe sleep for five hours before getting up for his morning shift at the nearby fast food joint.

Peter turned around and saw someone he thought he’d never see until maybe he died.

Tony Stark, sitting on his old tattered couch, playing with the prototype reactor in his hand before staring at Peter.

“Oh hey, was wondering when you’d get back. I need your help to get back to my universe, since I can’t contact anyone else. By the way, why are living in a dumpster hole and not in Avengers tower?”

[avidfanficwriter]

Two Drunken Fools (Chapter 1)

Characters: Tony Stark x OFC.

Warnings: So flippin many. Cursing, Alcoholism, depression, suicidal-ness(?) (I’m blanking the word), Smut, Pain, Will update as chapter arrive. Honestly, it’s messy. SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR AND ENDGAME

Ratings: M. 

Summary: When Tony fought Thanos, he thought that was as bad as it could get. He'd walk away with a bruised ego, a stab wound and the kid in tote. It didn't end like that, it never does for Tony Stark. His world fell. The kid's gone, Pepper's gone and he's in dire need of help but refuse to let anyone know that. Instead he cures it the only way he knows how: booze and seclusion. Until he discovers he shares shocking similarities with someone else whose curing their own pain the same way. 

Author’s Note: I HATE Absolutely freaking HATE chapters 1 and 2 but i give up. it’s pathetic, I know but I have a shit ton of other stuff written for this and the first two chaps aren’t getting any better. No matter how much I re-read and judge. I probably should get a beta, now that I think about it. Anyway, if you don’t like the first two i don't blame you, I hate them. 

Read on AO3

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. 

"When I'm done half of humanity will still be alive."

Of all the things, Tony has heard or been told, he never considered Thanos' threat to be the one that would haunt him.

He never considered the possibility that he would lose either... but he had. The Avengers lost.

The day he lost has started to haunt him, he second guesses every choice he made and his mind is filled with Thanos... again. After New York, the battle, the wormhole and Nuke, he didn't think it could get worse. He saw a threat and he new they would need to protect the world. Thanos had only showed him a glimpse of the destruction he would bring. What he actually did was much worse. He took the world into his fist and squeezed until he felt victorious.

There's the sting in Tony's abdomen where Thanos impaled him that has phantom pains  but it's Thanos' voice that he can't forget. Every day he wakes, it's the first thing he hears.

Thanos, the villain, the monster, the boogeyman who hides in children's closets had won. He followed through with the threat to rid the world of half human life but it's not the threat Tony wishes Thanos' would have acted on, he threatened to kill him, said in a gritty voice: "I hope they remember you." and Tony accepted it. He knew in that moment he was going to die. Only it never came. Thanos abandoned him, gathered the infinity stones and turned people to ash. Death would have been easier than living, buried six feet under with his flesh rotting and clothes turning to dirt would be easier than living with the knowledge that he let the world down. If he would have managed to stop Quill from reacting foolishly or stopped Strange from giving Thanos the stone, maybe they would've won. Maybe he would have succeeded but Thanos didn't allow him.

The gaping wound to his abdomen should've killed him, he deserved that. He should have went down with pain coursing through his body, blood seeping through his clothes and his body going cold but the world was to cruel to let Tony finally rest. He watched everyone around him disintegrate and he stayed. Tony remained in tact with his body bleeding and pain having yet to invade his mind. It should've killed him, plain and simple. Tony wanted to die, He longed for death but it never came. Everyone was gone, he was on a unknown planet and there was no telling who was still alive on earth. Did Pepper survive? Did Natasha? Was Steve---

Tony Stark deserved to die.

... but he hadn't.

Even as he was in a foreign spaceship suspended in the solar system with no food and water, an android as his only means of company and an infection infection running rampant throughout his body. He lived. Survival was harder to accept.

He lost Peter, a fifteen year old kid, he took under his arm and swore to protect. Tony looked the kid's aunt in her eyes and promised he'd be safe. He let her down.

The final nail in the coffin was, losing his heart, his everything, his reason for living. The light at the end of his tunnel was gone.

When Tony makes it to earth after days of being suspended in space, sickly and skeleton like with crusted lips and a heart beating far to slow,  it's Steve who helps him from the ship. Wrapping his arm around his waist and silently forgetting everything from their turbulent past.

"I lost the kid." Tony forces out with a scratchy throat and dry eyes. He doesn't remember whose surrounding them or who else is there to greet him but he can remember the feeling of dread seeping off of the Captain.

Steve is quick to respond, not an ounce of hesitation as he meets Tony's eyes. "Tony, we lost." He corrects.

"Is... is Pep..." Steve nods before Tony has a chance to finish the question, his eyes solem and Tony's heart audible drops.

Tony lost the kid, held him as he turned to ash and blamed himself but there was still a tiny part of him that hoped Pepper was safe on earth, waiting for him to come back. Discovering she wasn't, created more pain than the blood infection and stab wound could have ever made. Pepper was taken from him, taken like everyone else. He wasn't there when death kidnapped Pepper, he didn't get to hold her in his arms, cradle her body close to his chest and promise her she would be okay. She died waiting for Tony, alone and scared.

Thanos took away half the population but he also managed to destroy Tony. He cursed Tony, forced him to live knowing he failed. He was right, the world would remember Tony Stark, the would remember him as the one who let humanity down. The man who had the opportunity to save everyone and wasn't able to do it. Everyone died because he couldn't do what needed to be done. Everyone died and he lived. Because Tony always lives and everyone he loves eventually leaves him.

Tony turns to drinking when the pain is too much to bare, he considers jumping off the roof but some sick twist of fate doesn't let him walk off the balcony. He drinks anything he can get his hands on because it helps just enough to get him through the day, the moment he's released from the hospital he goes home and downs a bottle of scotch. Then another and another. It cuts off his emotions, shuts down the parts of his brain that yearn for Pepper. Yet once the alcohol wears off, it all comes back with a vengeance. Memories fill his brain, loving kisses, the feeling of fingers running through his hair, smiles, her laugh or how she felt beneath him. No matter how much he drinks, the torment and emptiness of his heart can't be cured fully. She's always there, haunting him. Reminding him of how he failed and who he was before everything happened.

Iron Man is tucked away in a closet, piling with dust while FRIDAY is ordered to not let anyone in unless he okays it. Not a soul is allowed inside his home. He wants to be left alone, he can't handle the shame that fills people's eyes as he passes or the whispered conversations whenever his presence is around. Everyone knows, he failed. Everyone blames him.

Happy is the first to arrive at his door with a bag of cheeseburgers from fifteen different fast food restaurants, he knocks, jiggles the handles and calls out for his boss. Tony ignores him. Rhodey is the next, his hand slams against the solid door and he spares no expense at bribery. Vegas, he offers, like the old times. Tony ignores him. Natasha shows up, slamming her palm against the door much like Rhodey had only she demands to know what is going on and why no one has seen or heard from him in two months. She is treated the same response.

Tony has FRIDAY send over paperwork informing Natasha and Steve that they are now officially in control of whatever is left of The Avengers Compound, there is a short typed note from Tony simply saying: "You deserve it now."

Three months after the decision has been made official and is announced to whoever is left of the population, Steve makes an appearance at Tony's door saying something, he doesn't care enough to listen anymore. He's drank to much, spent too much time wallowing in self pity and still slightly angered at the great Captain America. He's forced to endure pain, carry it around with him while Steve Fucking Rogers walks around with his head held high and smile on his stupid face. Steve leaves after just five minutes, his hands buried in his pockets and his eyes aimed at the ground. Voicemails start after that, Happy, Natasha, Rhodey and Steve. They all eventually start to sound the same.

Happy: Boss, are you doing okay? What are you up to? Do you need me to get you anything? Boss, there is a meeting today, you should be there. Tony... You can't live like this. ...The world needs Iron Man. They need you, Tony. Pepper would want you to continue.

Natasha: Tony, I can't do this, I can't run a company. Tony, you need to come back, I need you to come back. Pepper would have wanted you at the helm.

Rhodey: Tony, you have to get out. You can't lock yourself up in your house and just give up. Pepper wouldn't want this. There is still so much left.

Steve: Tony, Look... I uh.. I get it, okay. I know what you're going through. You just have to think about who you're doing this for. Think about Pepper.

Voicemail after voicemail goes unanswered, he can't even bring himself to listen to them anymore. They all want something from him, run the company, show the world he's still here, the team still needs you but no one even noticed Tony needed something once upon a time too. He needed Pepper, needed friends and needed support. Tony needed them once and they left him, betrayed him and beat him down. Why would he believe them now? Why it would be any different now?

Tony can't remember when he did it but eventually he disconnects his cell phone, deletes his email account and puts Friday on lockdown (mostly because he knows she's been sending people updates on him). He eventually becomes a prisoner in his own home, cuts off from the world and the people. Every so often he checks the cameras in the compound out of boredom and possibly because he misses his 'friends.'

A few overheard conversations between Rhodey and Nat from his security feeds in the compound lead him to believe the teams Bird is on some Warrior mission serial killer style. Natasha is doing a better than he expected job at the helm of the compound, Steve tends to lurk in the shadows when it comes to the business but he resides in the compound and usually eats dinner alongside Nat. Rhodey is still actively involved in the military occasionally popping by to check up on things. Tony is stuck watching as they move on, continuing with life all while he doesn't get the privilege to. He has moments where his fingers dance across the keyboard or pad of phone, the phone numbers he knows by heart all scream out to be dialed. He could call Happy or Rhodey, even Banner (whatever he's up to now, he's the only one who hasn't been at the compound lately. He overheard Natasha say he was off being a doctor in some foreign country again) Tony also gets threatening close to starting a conference call with whoever is inside the conference room. It'd be so easy to press the call button and talk to someone, anyone. He never does. The first month of  watching the feeds included witnessing Natasha come to terms that she was interacting with a build-a-bear, one who also happened to steal a few things from her office. Tony has a list of all the things, he's noticed the racoon taking and leaving money in place of. The second was trying to decipher where Steve spent his time outside of the compound but other than a bag of fast food he brought for Natasha, he's still at a loss. Months pass and the only interactions Tony's had with the team are one sided, video shots of their lives without him. Tony witnesses Natasha fire another round of employees they no longer deemed necessary with Steve standing by, he'd cross his arms over his chest and put on his signature stoic facial expression. Rhodey, meets a girl but it doesn't last long. Steve joins a group but has yet to say what for, he mockingly hopes it's one that helps him remove the stick from his ass.

It's late when he turns on the camera in Natasha's office, a glass of vodka and coke swirling in his hands as he props his feet up on the coffee table. He's running out of alcohol and desperately needs to order another six cases when he accidently clicks the icon for the security feeds, instead of changing it, watches it. The alcohol will still be there tomorrow and his bank account will still have money for it. Natasha is a blonde now with shorter hair, she has a stack of files in front of her. Steve is standing besides her, another firing spree Tony assumes. He watches her fire a young man and as he leaves he notices a sudden a shift in Natasha's behavior, she looks to Steve with weary lips: "Should we?" She asks in a gentle tone.

Steve nods, tightening his jaw. "He's not here. He's not coming back." They're talking about him, he knows it. The mood always shifts whenever he's brought up. "She's been doing a little of everything but... they're gone."

They're greeted by a young woman with curly brown hair in a white blouse, tight pencil skirt and six inch heels. He vaguely remembers her, she was an assistant to someone or on loan from SHIELD, he doesn't remember exactly. Their first meeting replays in his head, she asked for a signature holding a large stack of papers towards him, he thought she was a fan and it turned out to be an embarrassing encounter he hoped to forget. After he signed the document and let his mouth run with sarcastic comments about being asked to sign things because of his fame only to be told it was official business, he was redder than his iron man suit and she walked away smirking.

"You're being let go." Natasha informs her.

The brunette nods.

"It's temporary."

Another nod.

"You'll be paid for the first year of your absence."

Another nod.

"You were an asset to the company, if things change..." She means if things every become normal again. "I can guarantee you, you'll be brought back. A complete reinstatement."

Tony sets his glass onto the coffee table and for the first time in months, asks FRIDAY to turn on. "Who is that, FRIDAY?" He asks ignoring the greeting the A.I. gives him. The screen changes wiping away the security cameras and replacing it with her glowing picture and file. Her image takes residence on the right side of the screen and everything they have on her is displayed before him, employee records, position at the company, an entire database of information about her is before him. Wren Granger, he reads at the top of the page. Her name triggers the few memories he has of her, she worked for the Avengers, behind a desk with a smile that made you feel as though you'd known her for years. She'd attended a few parties at the Stark Tower but kept to herself. They had few interactions together but she never seemed the tiniest bit interested in him, her eyelashes didn't flutter when he came around nor find any excuse to touch him like most woman. She simply did her job and went home.

The first conversation they had that wasn't business related was at a party, years before everything happened. He was looking for Rhodey, ready to mock him over his insistent retelling of his adventures when he spotted yet another unfortunate soul being forced to listen to Rhodey's tales. Tony refills his drink and rushes to save the young lady.

"Rhodey, you're torturing the poor woman." Tony says swiftly joining them, resting his hand on his longtime friends shoulder.

Rhodey opens his mouth to respond, a wise crack at the tip of his tongue but the woman beside him beats him to it. "I beg to differ, Mr. Stark, it was just getting interesting."

"See, Tony..." Rhodey says a smile stretching across his face. "Somebody appreciates my stories."

"It's not all that fascinating," Tony quips. "He's been telling the same story for a week."

The brunette cocks her head and gives a dramatic gasp. "Is that so, Mr. Rhodes?" She asks with a smirk.

Once again, someone else who beats Rhodey before he has a chance to speak, it's Tony this time. "Don't feel to bad for him, he's just upset that the world only tolerates War Machine. Iron man is their  preference but they settle for second best in time of need." She tries to fight her chuckle by covering her mouth with her hand but the sounds of laughter leak through causing Rhodey to scoff and walk away annoyed. He grabs his drink and shouts a quip about War Machine being better as he heads to the other side of room.

"Oh no." The woman chuckles as she watches Rhodey leave.

Tony leans against the counter alongside the brunette and lets his eyes trail along her body. She's traded her usual pencil skirt for a pair of tight black jeans and a flowery blouse. "Which of these lovely prospectors do you plan to mooch off of?" He asks with a sly smile and cock of an eyebrow.

"I suspect you've taken yourself out of the equation?" She asks without missing a beat.

Tony jerks his head towards her and lets out a surprised breath, "Yes... why was I in the equation?" He asks, a cheeky grin now plastered on his face.

"Not originally but I figure why close all doors, huh?" She asks with a smile as she meets his dark brown eyes. "Besides wouldn't you be the best to mooch off of considering you're the billionaire?" There's a small shrug of her shoulders as she relaxes against the wooden counter behind her.

"Wise decision." Tony remarks. "But I'm taken."

"That's true." She smiles. "I've heard Steve Rogers is nice."

Tony turns his nose up, "Capsicle?" He leans closer hovering his lips near her ear. "You'd have to devirginize him."

Full of shock, she turns to face him eyebrows furrowed with her lips press tightly together. Her dark green eyes fall back to the Captain whose engaged in a competitive game of pool alongside Sam. "Well, maybe not. It might get a bit awkward when I don't call him the day after."

Tony chuckles, nearly spilling the drink he's holding. "Tony Stark." he says offering her his free hand.

"I know, I work for you." She says with a smile, accepting his hand in a firm handshake. "Wren Granger."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Granger."

"You as well, Mr. Stark."

"Tony, please."

"Tony."

They keep each other company throughout the night, talking for hours about any little topic that sparks interest. Wren doesn't ask about his time as Iron Man or his life as a billionaire, she has simple questions or comments that only people who really want to know someone ask. It's easy to talk to one another, the conversations flows and doesn't feel stressed. It's comfortable, something Tony hasn't experienced in a long time. As the party dies down and the guests begin returning home, she glances at the watch on her left wrist and says that she should leave as she has an hour drive.

"An hour? You don't live in the city?"

"No, Not at all." Wren shakes her head almost insulted by the indication.

"Where do you live? I can get someone to drop you."

She nods, "I don't think you or I need that type of talk surrounding us." extending her hand to shake his. "Besides, I'm actually out of the city, rural area." Tony flinches at the comment and she notices his discomfort. "Not a country boy, i take it?"

"City boy, born and raised."

"Shame." She tsks him and stands. "It's nice break from the chaos that is the city. We get a lot less alien invasions." She winks at him with a smile. Tony chuckles quietly, at the remark. The noises that came with the city life, is what makes his home, a home. "If you ever manage to make it out there, in the quiet that is, you're more than welcome to stop by for a drink." She says straight faced. "Quiet can do you some good, it's a nice break to get away from all the noise and people."

The offer runs rampant in his mind as if it was offered just yesterday, he watches Wren leave Natasha's office, clutching a manilla folder to her chest. At the time, when she mentioned him coming out for the quiet, he thought nothing of. It was a friendly offer. Now, it felt like a calling. He can claim it's because he's severely lacking from human contact or slightly hungover and curing the hangover by drinking more and his mind isn't working at full capacity, or it's much simpler, he wants to talk to someone who isn't artificial and doesn't have a ulterior motive behind their words. He ponders the idea, when they met she treated him like he was a person maybe she'd do the same now. Everyone else tried to fix him until he longed to strangle them or share ways he can get over his loss. She could be different. There was no judgement when they first spoke.

He writes down her address, just in case and pins it to the fridge. Just in case, he thinks. If it really gets to him, he'll visit.

The ache in Wren's chest is raw, flesh eating and nausea inducing raw.

Everyone is gone.

The bad guy won.

The Avengers lost.

In an instant half the population was gone, wiped away from the world as if they never existed. Friends, family and lovers are gone. In a blink of an eye, they disappeared with a gust of wind.

The world feels empty now, those that were lucky enough to survive wish they hadn't. No one had time to prepare, they didn't have the luxury of a final goodbye or a warning that this would happen, it just did. Not many knew how to cope with the sudden loss, the trauma and pain resides deep in their chest unable to be cured. No funerals, no bodies and no final resting grounds. Ash in the wind. The world was at a standstill, abandoned cars rest in the middle of the roads, toys left untouched and groceries left to rot in the hot sun. Time seemed to stop.

Everyone hurts and most people blame the Avengers. The world's mightiest heroes were suppose to protect them, save the world but they let it down instead.

A year ago, Wren worked at the compound, her position wasn't of any importance but she had a way with words and could talk anyone into anything. When a business went awry, Wren Granger was your girl. A few sentences stringed together and the deal was back in place. The day it all happened, the day people disappeared without any explanation Captain America strode into the compound for the first time in years, defeat written on his face sporting a bearded jaw and glossy eyes while the building echoed with gasps. He ordered a meeting, standing before everyone in his uniform, the white star in the middle of his chest was absent, his fingers bloody and his suit looked darker. He explained what happened, omitting most of the classified details. Thanos had arrived to earth, threatened to cleanse the world and succeeded. He wiped out half of the population. The next order of business he asked, "Where is Tony Stark?" No one had the answer.

It would be a month before Tony would miraculously be found, "He was injured in a remote area." was the official cover story but there had to be more to it. There always was.

Tony was once again named the official boss, after it was discovered Pepper Potts had also been taken. Tony's health improved but he disappeared.

Days passed and Natasha Romanoff, a beautiful redhead with an attitude that could scare a 210 pound man and boy next door Steve Rogers were announced as the new boss. It should have gotten better but it didn't, employees were cut, costs were cut and within three months Wren was forced to move on. Natasha promised in a year, she'd be brought back if things returned to normal. If there was a normal to look forward too.

One year passed and the world was still broken and her job never came back, the Avengers weren't rallying up for round two and Iron Man let alone Tony Stark still hadn't shown up in public again. It was public knowledge that the loss of his fiancee Pepper had hit him hard. Rumors swirled that he was on the deep end of a depression, two pills away from ending it all. Wren didn't blame him for doing so, she'd lost people too. It's difficult to move on when you can't mourn any specific area except for a large wall that stretched for miles with names etched into it. It was personal, not an area you could make your own. It was covered in dead flowers, tattered teddy bears and letters from loved ones.

Wren started drinking six months after her job was gone when everything became to much to handle, little things would spark ripples of anger. Misplaced keys, grocery stores not being stocked, a rude comment she'd overhear and the neurons inside her brain would fire up creating a alter personality that attacked with anger. She drank to stop it all, the pain and the anger. It was easy. She fought it with a crooked smile and another bottle of alcohol.

He came next. Tony Stark, that is.

Wren was sitting at her dining table working on her latest jewelry design, it seemed her hobby as a teenager had paid off since being politely let go. A knack for making customized bracelets and necklaces had provided a substantial amount of pay. Requests came online shortly after for pieces engraved or in tribute to a lost loved one. The current piece beneath her small fingers with light blue nails was for a woman who lost her daughter, she asked for her birthdate, birthstone and a small pink heart on the necklace. The roar of an engine startled her, the necklace slipping between her fingers as she stood up. Her home was far enough away from civilization that no one would just be simply passing by, in order to get here, you had to look for it and in order to find it, you had to know where to look. The image of Tony Stark approaching the front door, with a case of Guinness in his left hand and his hair slightly tousled as if he just awoke with pair of sunglasses hiding his eyes felt like a dream. She pinches herself before moving from the window, this can't be real. Tony Stark is hiding? Gone? Scared? Missing? Lo-- the doorbell startles her again, it's followed by a short pair of knocks. Her lower lip comes between her teeth as she approaches the door, a shaky hand reaches for the lock, unlatching it and slowly twisting the door knob.

"Hey." He says as if this is a normal occurrence, like it's not unusual for him to be at her door in the middle of the afternoon. "I was in the neighborhood." He blatantly lies.

"Hi." Wren says in a whispered tone and her eyes grow even wider. "Uh...Come, come inside."

Tony sat across from her on the brown couch, his sunglasses discarded on the counter in the kitchen while his fingers danced across the glass bottle of beer. He's wearing an AC/DC t-shirt that is tightly stretched across his chest, it's the first time she's seen him in person in years, probably since anyone has seen him in person. His hair is longer, unkept and littered with greying strands and the whites of his eyes are bloodshot, his jaw is held hostage by months of unshaved facial hair. He looks broken. Nothing like the man who could throw out a sarcastic remark like he was a pitcher for a baseball team, the man   whose eyes crinkled when he laughed or was rumored to obsessively work on new projects. Mr. Stark sits before her, unrecognizable. He's a different man but she's a different woman now to. Everyone is different since it happened.

"This place is nice." Tony remarks as his eyes explore the home. He's seen better, undoubtedly, he's made of money. He owns a better home than this. His homes are in the cities full of people and tall buildings, millions of dollars put into the home with remarkable electronics while Wren's is secluded from civilization, surrounded by trees and wildlife, the closest grocery store was nearly two hours away and her closet neighbors were miles away. She has a broken bathroom sink, a window that never completely locks and a floorboard in the kitchen between the counter and fridge that squeaks every time you step on it, she knows he's pulling the comment out of his ass. Tony's been locked up for so long, he's forgotten what nice truly means.

"It makes do." She says with a small shrug.

Tony nods, bringing the bottle to his lips. He still hasn't explained why he was here or where he's been and he doesn't know if he can even begin to. He hadn't left home in a year, hadn't interacted with people in over a year but here he was.

"Did you actually stop at a grocery store and pick this up?" Wren asks nudging the case of beer with her foot. It's sitting on the glass coffee table covering a assortment of magazines and papers, she has yet to pick up.

"Yes." He nods. "Didn't want to show up empty handed."

"I like scotch too." Wren mentions with a smile. "In case you're ever in the neighborhood again." For a brief second, a smile crosses his face. It almost passes for real but his eyes give him away. "How are you doing Tony?" She asks interrupting the silence that encapsulates them. It's a difficult question, one that managed to escape her mouth before she had a moment to think of the consequences. Tony could answer with another fake smile or gather what's left of the beer and decide he's being called away.

There's a pause in the conversation and a hitch of his breathe before he answers, "I'm fine." His reply surprises her, she didn't expect an answer. When he poses the same question to Wren her answer is far from polite.

Her intent was to lie as he did but what comes out is not a fib, "I"m terrible." Wren mutters. "Fuckin terrible." She glances around the living room, shame written across her face. "I'm drunk, don't mind me."

"It doesn't help, does it?" Tony asks after another round of silence.

"No... Not really."

"No..." He repeats.

"You live here alone?" He asks even though FRIDAY already told him that answer.

She nods. "Me and my shadow."

"Must get lonely."

"I make do." She shrugs her shoulders. "The quiet--"

"--can do you some good."

"Is that what you needed?" Wren asks reaching out to grab another bottle of beer, one for her and one for Tony. It's a question in place of the one she really wants to ask, 'what are you doing here?' is on the tip of her tongue but she refuse to give it a voice. "Quiet?"

Tony opens the bottle, tossing the lid onto the table and relaxing his posture on the couch once again. He kicks a leg up on the coffee table, slides his arm across the back of the couch and stares at Wren whose legs are dangling off the arm of the loveseat. "I don't know anymore." He whispers, dropping his head back. "I think... I just needed somebody..." For the first time in years, Tony lets the truth out. He's got tears welting at the corners of his eyes, a knot forming in his throat and his suave personality he's had on display for his entire life is crumbling before a woman he barely knows. "who didn't know me... before." He lets out with a deep breathe. Wren simply nods and takes another long sip of her beer.

Tony leaves around midnight, alcohol on his breathe and his heart feeling a little less heavy. "It gets dark out here." Tony says surprised when he steps outside of the small house, glancing up at the sky.

"Yeah, no tall buildings to make it seem like it's always day. You can see the stars too." Wren says with a smile.

"I'll see you." Is the last thing Tony says as he leaves.

Neither Tony or Wren have any idea how to explain the last few hours of their lives, Wren is still in shock that Tony showed up at her door when she lays down in bed while Tony is still trying to piece together why he arrived there in the first place. He'd come across the post it note with Wren's address when he slipped in the kitchen and knocked off the papers stuck to his fridge. It was the only piece of paper that fell directly in front of him, rightside up and caught the little light he allowed into the house. He didn't plan to go there neither was he intending to but his legs went on autopilot and before he knew it, he was in the front seat of his car, driving to her home. Leaving his house for the first time in a year was easier than he would have thought. The world didn't care about him anymore. His car left the garage unnoticed, his appearance at the grocery store went unnoticed. Tony Stark was nothing to the world now.

Wren created a spark in the deepest crevice of Tony's chest, he felt relieved to speak to someone who didn't judge him. She didn't see him as a pompous ass or billionaire who would only think of himself. The time they spent together felt like two old friends catching up over a beer. It was relaxed. He didn't suspect that she would rush off and tell the media about his reappearance into society or find a gossip magazine to sell the dark tales that were Tony Stark.

Maybe she could become a much needed friend in whatever world they're forced to reside in.

[inawickedlittletown]

Together. Always. (one-shot)

A/N: This contains Major Endgame Spoilers. Do not read without first seeing the movie. (everything under a cut for spoilers)

Words: 5,897

Summary: In which Steve reflects...and does something about it. A Stony fix it fic. 

@findmeinthestarss

Together. Always. 

Twenty one days. Steve wasn’t even actively counting, but it was information filed in the back of his head. Twenty one days since it happened. Since half the universe was turned to dust -- disappearing where they stood no matter who they were. It was -- there were no words. When he looked at the others -- the ones that were left he saw it in their eyes too. It was grief and blame and none of them knew what came next and it was defeat in a way that Steve had never experienced and yet somehow in his worst moments, Steve’s thoughts fell to Tony.

It always went back to Tony.

Tony Stark. Earth’s best defender. Iron Man. And he was gone too…

Then, he wasn’t.

Tony was thin. He was gaunt and frail and his eyes held the same despair and defeat. There was anger and pain there too and seeing him had felt amazing and wonderful because he was alive. Tony was alive!

He ran, past everyone as the ship opened and he was there and Tony was within reach and the moment lasted seconds as Pepper approached and the moment was lost -- lost like everything else between them and he was to blame for all of it. But Tony was there within reach. He was alive. Tony lived.

It was more than enough for that to be true except that in the time that had passed since Steve saw Tony last, none of his feelings had faded. He doubted they ever would.

Loving Tony was forever -- it was innate and a part of him paired up with regrets and lost time.

Pepper’s arms were around Tony and Steve watched them and the desperation in which she clung to him, how Tony’s face was pressed into her shoulder and how it wasn’t him. Their eyes met and Tony was the one to look away. They weren’t okay. Steve didn’t know if they could be or ever would be.

The day had been bright and warm and if Steve remembered correctly -- and he usually did -- they had been somewhere in Spain. Their hotel had been particularly bad and Steve’s hair had gotten too long and his beard too unruly. He’d been getting food -- trying his best with his broken Spanish -- and the tv was on at the restaurant. It was Tony’s name that made him pause like it always did when there were news from home.

It was in Spanish and Steve didn’t really understand it all that well but Pepper was standing with Tony and they both looked good. They were smiling and laughing and Tony’s arm wrapped around Pepper’s waist. They kissed. There was a ring on her finger. His stomach churned. His whole body was numb. Cold. Tight.

Tony Stark y Pepper Potts se van a casar read the headline.

“Getting married,” Steve whispered. Tony looked happy. Unbroken. Someone else had put him back together.

Hell, all Steve seemed to do was break him apart.

If later that day, Steve hid away from the others and tried to find some sort of work for them, neither Sam or Natasha commented on it. Later, when it was closer to morning than night, Natasha grasped his hand.

Bruce put an IV line in despite Tony’s arguments against it. He was in a wheelchair too, too weak to go far on his own. His cheeks were so hollow and his eyes sunken and Steve hated to see him so broken. Knew he was partly to blame for putting him there and then the fight returned. Tony shouted every bit of it -- words he’d been holding back or waiting to say for longer than seemed possible.  

“I needed you. As in past tense,” Tony said.

He wasn’t there.  

It was too late, as Tony put it.

“I said we’d lose,” Tony said and he kept talking and talking like he always did, and his anger and pain was so plain and clear. Then his hand was reaching for his chest and the device, pushing back at Steve’s questions and demands.

“I got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero. Zip. Nada. No trust. Liar.” And he dropped the broken reactor on his hand.

It cut deep.

Tony hated him.

It was deserved. He wasn’t there for Tony when it counted. He lied to him. Broke the whole team apart.

Steve could remember clearly when he’d said that win or lose, they would do it together. He’d expected them to be together. But, when it mattered most...he wasn’t there, making the wrong choice time and time again...

After Bruce sedated Tony, Pepper remained at his side. She watched them all warily until she could take Tony home and away from all of them. Away from him. Steve didn’t blame her.

The thing about Pepper was that she was so absolutely strong. Throughout all of it, she had remained steadfast even as she mourned like they all were doing.

“I needed you.” You weren’t there. He let Tony down when it mattered. Destroyed everything they built when all along Tony had been right about everything. Even The Accords probably — well, the part about keeping the team together being more important than losing some freedoms.

Then, Thanos was gone. There were no stones. Their new reality was here to stay and it felt like failing all over again.

Five years passed at a pace. Slow and lingering like a toothache with absolutely no relief.

The number of times that Steve actually got to see Tony in person could be counted on one hand but Natasha made peace with Tony and she kept up with him just like she kept up with everyone else. It was easy to let everything go and let her deal with it while he went to support meetings like Sam would have. He helped where he could and tried to make sense of the world that was missing half of all life.

It was Natasha that told him about Morgan and showed him pictures when she was born. A tiny little bundle with a tuft of dark hair who resembled neither her mother or father quite yet and whose very existence made Steve’s chest ache. But Tony was happy. Tony was moving on and living. His money still funded The Avengers but Tony stayed away and maybe it was easier that way because Steve kept encouraging people to move on even if he never would or could.

He never asked Natasha about Tony or Pepper or Morgan. She always just told him. Steve was aware that she went over for dinner once a month -- that she filled Tony in on everything even when the news was just about Carol Danvers saying hello from somewhere in outer space.

He saw Tony again properly after Scott showed up with a crazy story about time travel and a way to resolve everything. Tony looked good. Happy.

They were always fighting was the thing. Well, not always. Just a lot of the time. One or both of them too stubborn to back down from a fight wanting to be right or to prove the other wrong for reasons that never mattered past the moment. Countless times when Steve had wanted to just kiss him quiet and have that resolve everything. But if there was one area in which he was a coward it was that one. Fear of rejection or not being rejected -- it was all the same.

Morgan ran out to “rescue” her dad and Steve could see Tony’s reluctance to help in the way he held her and the way he invited them to stay for lunch and Steve couldn’t push it and beg him to help because the last thing he wanted was to hurt Tony again and to take away his happiness and the life he’d built. Tony had a family. He was happy.

They called him the man out of time. Maybe he was just the man with bad timing.

They kissed once.

Tony liked to celebrate after big things happened. Once the new Avengers Compound was built, it had felt right to throw a small party.

“We did it,” Tony said.

“Together,” Steve said and grinned at him.

Tony grinned back. There was a drink in his hand, but it was non-alcoholic, and he waved it around. Steve grabbed his forearm before he could spill it and Tony leaned into his side, looking up at him, through long dark lashes that seemed impossible.

“What comes next, Cap?”

All of it was behind them. Sokovia. Ultron. All of it resolved even if it came with its own loses.

“Train up the new team, I guess. Make this work even if you’re not a part of it anymore.”

“I -- I’m sorry. You know all I want is -- this is not the end and--”

The light shone in Tony eyes and there was a nervous energy about him. He looked beautiful and enchanting.

“--I’m haunted by what I saw and it’s time I step back. For the better. I just -- I’m sorry and I--”

Steve kissed him, a quick brush of the lips that made his entire body go cold with panic. Time slowed down as he pulled back until a hand was on the side of his face pulling him back in. Tony surged forward, wasting not a second before fusing their lips together, stepping into his space. Steve gasped into it, pressing back, his arm snaking around Tony’s back as Tony’s fingernails scrapped the nape of his neck.

The whole memory of it was seared into his skin, even if another kiss never managed to happen again. Not later that night. Not the next day. Certainly not when The Accords came into play about a year later or any of the time in between where seeing Tony felt like a luxury.

On his loneliest nights, Steve closed his eyes and dreamed about it. He tried to remember if Tony tasted like the cherries he’d had floating in his drink or if his goatee had scratched against his bare skin. He tried not to forget the musk of Tony’s cologne or the callused fingertips that touched his skin.

Kissing Tony felt like a dream -- an imagined happening that wouldn’t be brought up again.

Even knowing the kind of person Tony was, Steve didn’t expect to see him again, especially not with the solution and with Steve’s shield. He appeared like the knight in shining armor -- and technically he was exactly that -- always steps ahead of the rest of them. Always the one piece needed in the giant puzzle that was their team. Without him they were all lost.

Steve didn’t know if he gave himself away in how he watched and looked on at Tony as everything started to be put into place. How his eyes lingered and watched him and wished desperately that things were different.

It was days upon days of work. Gathering the team. Putting the time machine together. Figuring out when and where to go. All of it felt like old times except that they all felt their loses again and again.

One late night found him and Tony together. Alone.

“This is worth it, right? All of this?”

Steve could tell that Tony was running on very little sleep, and his fingers rubbed at his temples as if trying to stave off a headache.

“If we can bring everyone back. Yes. Of course.”

“I’ve been--” Tony coughed. “--I didn’t solve this in one night. I was already working on it. Time travel. It seemed -- well, it was the only way that…”

“Oh.”

Tony stared at the ground. “I was lucky. Not everyone was...and Peter--”

Peter Parker. Steve hadn’t even met him, not properly. Maybe once it was all over he might get to. If they managed to fix, that is.

“I’m sorry.”

Tony looked directly at him, his brown eyes so expressive and shining. “Me too.”

“I -- Tony, you must know and I’m sorry to--”

Tony’s hand landed on his forearm, still keeping eye contact. “I know. I know. You don’t have to--”

Later, once it was all ready and once they knew where they were going and what their teams broke down into, and he and Tony were standing in an alley and Tony’s eyes were on him, Steve would follow him anywhere. He trusted Tony. Of course he trusted Tony.

Peggy was beautiful. Steve had thought that the first time he saw her. He was never not going to love her and having her just within his reach made him reluctant to follow the rules. He was in the past and she was right there, feet away from him just within reach and it took everything to not approach her. His picture -- one from before the serum sat on her desk. In the future she had lived a full life. Had a husband and kids. She died in her bed, old and wrinkled and so so completely fulfilled. Without regrets.

Steve got out of her office and walked out, pym particles hidden in the pocket of a stolen uniform only to find Tony busy talking to Howard Stark of all people. But he had the stone.

“I saw Peggy,” he admitted.

“I saw my dad,” Tony said, dazed.

Steve hugged him, pulled him in tight. Their whole lives were intertwined from start to finish, it seemed. They were meant to know each other -- meant to be in each other’s lives.

“We have to--”

“I know.”

“You want to stay, don’t you?” Tony asked. It was a whisper.

Looking at Tony and having Tony just there within his reach made him hesitate. His answer was lodged in his throat and Tony’s stare was knowing.

“I--”

“We all deserve to be happy in the end,” Tony said. “That’s the whole point -- getting to go home at the end.”

“Tony, I--”

He didn’t want to stay. He couldn’t stay.

“It would be okay if--”

“No.”

“But you and Peggy--”

Steve shook his head, but he didn’t have the words to explain. He thought that Tony understood as he reached for his wrist.

They got away. Went back.

Nat was gone.

Forever.

The world was cruel.

Steve looked at Tony and Tony was looking back. Her sacrifice was going to be worth it.

There was some time in between where none of them could afford to linger on their loss again.

“We’re doing this,” Tony said.

“Yeah. Together.”

Tony gave him a long look. Then, he nodded. “Always.”

Hulk snapped his fingers.

It took mere moments before the world was in chaos again. He woke up to Tony. Destruction surrounded them and Thanos was back and Tony was right yet again. The side effects of time travel clear as day.

The whole of it was a blur. Fighting Thanos again, the appearance of Thanos’ army, and then in the moment when they needed them the most everyone back and ready to turn the tide of the battle.

It was hard to keep track of everyone and everything without losing the focus that might keep them alive. The gauntlet with the stones was passing from hand to hand, his shield was broken, and then Thanos had the stones and it was Wakanda all over--

Until one moment Tony was going for the gauntlet on Thanos’ hand unsuccessfully and the next Thanos snapped his fingers and…

Nothing.

It took seconds to realize what was happening. Longer for Steve to make it to where Tony was as Tony’s entire arm glowed with the colors of the stones and burned. Their eyes met. Tony’s brown and wet with unshed tears and a deep understanding that that was it. The end. His end.

“I--”

Snap. A flash of white. The world changed again.

Everything happened fast. Tony’s whole arm to his neck was charred along with his suit. Peter was there. Then Pepper. Over her head their eyes met and slowly, so slowly that Steve didn’t know how long the moment lasted life left them entirely.

Tony Stark saved the world at the cost of his own life, always the one to take the sacrifice play. Steve couldn’t believe he’d ever doubted him.

The next few days were hard. Pepper planned the funeral with Happy. Steve offered to help however he could and it all felt like someone else inside his body was doing it while he looked on. He broke when Tony’s message was played -- his last words to all of them because Tony was nothing if not prepared.

Pepper approached him when everyone was starting to leave. Her eyes were rimmed red and she looked reluctant when she stepped towards him.

“Steve, I -- there’s something he left for you.”

“For me?” Steve asked.

Pepper nodded. “When you came back from the past, he recorded a few other messages. One was for you.”

“Oh.”

“I haven’t -- I didn’t watch it so…”

It took him a few days to watch.

Tony was sat on the table back at the compound.

“Hey, Steve. I guess if you’re getting this then I’m -- I’m gone.” He paused there, his lips pursing and then letting out a sigh. “And I wanted to clear the air. Not that it hasn’t already been cleared. Maybe I just wanted to have the last word. And if I’m gone, I just want to be sure that you do more than sit around this place letting life pass you by.”

Tony looked out, almost directly at Steve where he was standing.

“You can’t do that, Steve. So, I want you to promise me something. I want you to embrace life and stop mourning what you’ve lost. Especially if one of those things is me. You don’t always have to be the hero. You don’t always have to be the man with the plan. Everything has an end but there’s a whole lot of middle too. Don’t waste your middle. Love you, Cap. Always.”

Tony smiled, then, his lips quirked up and then the recording shut off and Tony was gone. Again.

Steve’s eyes fell closed and he could still see him with his hair done perfectly on his head and his easy manner of being, his swagger or confidence -- everything that made him Tony Stark. In the recording it wasn’t easy to tell that Tony had brown eyes or that his dark hair had more grey in it than ever.

He opened his eyes again, expecting to see nothing. He gasped when he saw Tony. The grey recorded Tony...but not the same Tony because this one was dressed differently. He was addressing the camera head on, barely moving except for when his hands twitched and he wrung them together.

“As a child, the idea of time travel seemed entirely idealistic,” hologram Tony said. “Like a fairytale full of impossibilities. Most scientists would tell you it’s impossible and yet more impossible things have happened. I saw my dad, Steve. Howard Stark in all his glory.”

There was a long pause that dragged. Tony tapped a finger to his chin and he sighed, dropping his hands to his sides. “And I didn’t know it’d hit me that hard to realize how human he was. Anyway, the point is -- the point is that if I’m not there I hope you get to do what you wanted to do when we were in the past.”

Steve didn’t get it at first. Not until he realized that Tony must have recorded it when they came back from 1970.

“I hope -- I hope you go back and see her. Stay with her. You deserve that -- to have the love of your life and get to experience life in that way.” He chuckled. “I hope -- well, I’m hoping that I’ll be able to say this to you in person.”

Tony wrung his hands together again. “I know you’re probably thinking about all the things Bruce and I said -- the rules. But, don’t you worry about screwing anything up. Just know that after everything, you deserve this. You deserve that kind of happy.” He smiled and it was sad and mournful. “Always.”

Tony was wrong. He was so wrong.

Tony stayed there for a moment longer, lingering like a ghost. He seemed to be trying to figure out if he should say something else. Then, he shook his head and the recording ended.

Steve didn’t know how long he cried, or how long after his tears dried up he just sat there unmoving and unsure of everything but with a new determination because Tony was right. Why was he always right?

Steve could time travel. It was a real and proper option.

Days later, they were ready to take the stones back and Steve jumped at the chance, volunteering at once before anyone else could even consider it. He could tell that Bucky knew what his real intentions by volunteering were. Or maybe he didn’t -- maybe he hadn’t guessed all of it. The others didn’t have a clue. Sam was almost harder to look at as he moved onto the platform, Mjolnir in hand.

The truth of the matter was that despite everything, Tony’s entire purpose had been to get to live his life. He’d just wanted to be able to do that while living in a safe world without the threats of a purple alien to contest to. The threat was gone and so was Tony because the universe itself seemed to like the idea of that sort of poetic irony. The kind that was unfair and tragic.

Putting the stones and Mjolnir back was easier than it had been to take them but only mildly so. He managed to do all of it undetected and without seeing much of anyone else. Then, he went to find Peggy.

He went to her house. She didn’t believe it was him at first, poking her finger into his chest hard before she cried and threw herself at him and he caught her and held her and it was all just so so easy and hard all at once. Peggy was in his arms -- this was everything he’d longed for and wanted for too long.

“How, Steve? How? You...you...you died--”

Peggy’s face was screwed up, her eyes flooded with tears and she looked beautiful. His beautiful fierce and stubborn girl. And he loved her. He did.

“I was frozen,” Steve said.

She gasped. “Howard was right.”

“Yeah. He’s a Stark, isn’t he? They’re somehow right a lot.” Well, no, one particular Stark was right a lot.

Peggy eyed him, always shrewd and always knowing. “You’re not just talking about Howard.”

He shook his head. It was hard, especially when she took a step back and really took him in. Her tears were all but dried up. Her scrutiny was everything.

“You don’t look the same. You’re different.”

“I--”

“Tell me.”

He told her everything. About waking up in the future and about Bucky and about The Avengers and how she lived a full life. Eventually, he told her about Tony.

“The best person I’ve ever met -- the hero none of us deserved. You’re going to be his godmother. I made so many mistakes when it came to him and judged him when I didn’t even know him. Fought him every step of the way like someone that didn’t understand we were always meant to be on the same side. Everything that happened -- us fixing everything and saving the world and the universe at large is down to him. Always.”

“You love him,” Peggy said. Her hand touched his cheek, wiping a tear away.

Steve closed his eyes. He gave a short nod and opened them again.

There wasn’t pity or sadness in her eyes. Instead, there was understanding. Love. Maybe some pride too.

“You aren’t here to stay, are you?” Her voice had an edge of sadness to it.

Steve shook his head. “No. I -- I can’t. I just wanted to see you. One last time. Maybe -- maybe we can get that dance.”

Peggy laughed, but she nodded and together they cleared out some space in her living room. She put on music. He wasn’t that guy anymore that didn’t have a clue about how to dance. Not that he’d done a lot of dancing in the future at all.

Swaying to the music with Peggy felt like closure. An end.

When it was over, she stared at him long and hard. “This is goodbye then? A proper one, this time.”

Walking away from Peggy wasn’t easy, not when he loved her still. Always would. Peggy Carter would never fade from his memory.

But there was somewhere else he needed to be. Somewhere else that he wanted to be.

You deserve that -- to have the love of your life and get to experience life in that way. You deserve that kind of happy.

The Tony Stark of 2012 was different. Younger and more carefree -- unburdened by everything Steve had done or not done. He had yet to be broken by the carelessness and thoughtlessness of a man out of time.

Watching him while Tony had no clue he was there felt invasive and yet rushing in was worse when seeing Tony brought everything back.

His Tony was dead. Future Tony was dead. Future Tony sacrificed himself to save everyone else including his wife and daughter and this man just in front of him within easy reach was not that Tony at all. And yet he was. He was because this younger Tony had just flown a nuke into space -- Tony had always been more than any of them deserved.

Tony seemed surprised but happy to see him when his knuckles rapped on the glass door before he stepped into the workshop.

“I thought you went on a road trip? Or was Romanoff lying to me again? She tends to do that. Not that I’m not glad to see you. Just surprised, is all? Did you need something? Did something happen?”

He was Tony. Words coming out so fast that the Steve from this time hadn’t been able to keep up, hadn’t found it endearing and wonderful and like a soothing balm on his aching soul.

“No. No. I -- is that offer is still good?”

Steve didn’t even know why he was doing that -- why he was bothering to ask when if he faced reality, he actually couldn’t stay. There was another Steve driving around on a motorcycle halfway through the United States that would return eventually and take up his place and--

“What, your very own floor on a building with a giant A on the outside?”

Steve nodded. He was nervous. Tony was stood just before him complete with AC/DC t-shirt, dark hair, perfect goatee, and brown lively eyes. His arc reactor shone in his chest not yet removed and so absolutely blue -- a light at the end of a very long tunnel.

“Yeah, that.”

“Sure. Always good.” Tony looked confused, a little thrown off. He eyed Steve, but this Tony didn’t know him. Not really. He wouldn’t notice the differences.

“Good. I -- I figure I’ll take you up on it.”

It was easy. Too easy. Tony smiled and it was the genuine one that was all Tony and not Tony Stark or Iron Man. Just Tony. To think that things could have been as easy as this if he had only been less judgemental and less focused on the past rather than the present he was actually in.

He hung around the lab, looking at Tony’s newest suit. It didn’t compare to any of the future ones and yet Steve loved it. He loved the red and gold and how real and grounded it looked. Iron Man. Earth’s best defender. Saver of the Universe. The man he loved.

Steve had only to look at a calendar to know where the Steve from this time was -- the one that would slowly tear the man in front of him apart without knowing it and because of his own pain and his own loneliness because he hadn’t known or seen the branch of friendship offered complete without surprise clauses or questions or caveats.

Days passed and Steve became a fixture.

Tony wasn’t as busy as he pretended to be. Or, he didn’t mind making time for Steve. It hurt to know that this -- the friendship and the acceptance -- had all been there waiting for him if he had only bothered to ask.

Some days, they went out for strolls to hole-in-the-wall restaurants. Some of them so tiny and so well hidden that it was a surprise to know Tony knew about them. One day, Tony surprised him with tickets to a baseball game. Steve wasn’t all that bitter about the Dodgers anymore, but it was still weird to watch the Yankees and root for them. Other days, Tony insisted they both sit in sweatpants with all the junk food they could find while Tony introduced him to a “cultural masterpiece” and Steve had to pretend he hadn’t already seen it. It was still different to watch something with Tony. To spend his time watching Tony’s expressions and to catch the lines he mouthed along to.

“You’re surprisingly quick on your feet with the tech for an old guy,” Tony said one afternoon, eyebrow raised after Steve used a hologram interface without much trouble.

Steve froze. Lies had always been the problem. Even those excused by “for your own good” -- a cheap way to pass the guilt. It was him making the same mistakes again.

It had been weeks since he’d arrived and lodged himself into Tony’s life and--

“About that--”

It had been easier to tell Peggy when the chance of everything going wrong hadn’t been as high. But once he started, it all spilled out. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted and needed Tony to know the full truth.

Afterwards, there was silence.

“I died, so you came to the past and created an alternate reality just to see me,” Tony said eventually.

If he was going to say it all, then it all needed to come out. Especially the reason he was there to begin with.

“I love you.” He paused, letting the words linger between them.

Tony’s eyes were shining. His mouth was slack with surprise. He was completely still.  

“I’m in love with you,” Steve finished.

“You really -- you mean that…”

The moment dragged on forever.

“I--” Tony began.

“You don’t have to say anything. This is -- this was stupid and I can still go back. I can still just--”

Pepper was still around. She and Tony were together -- sort of. It was complicated, apparently. Steve had seen the signs, the way that Tony moved sometimes and how he never slept the whole night through without finding himself in the lab. Steve had taken to making him herbal teas and Tony had complained the whole way through drinking the first one until he admitted after the third one that they weren’t all bad -- they were even soothing . Steve had known all along that he liked them and it felt a little bit like cheating.

“I--” Tony said again and then he gulped and shook his head as he came back to himself and he stared at Steve like he’d never seen him before.

After that, Steve gave him his space.

“There are two of you,” Tony said a few days later, entering the kitchen. “Two Steve’s. That -- that shouldn’t be possible. It could be disastrous.”

“So you want me to go. If you want me to go, I’ll go.”

Tony shook his head. He walked around the table separating them, his hands landed on Steve’s biceps and his eyes bore into his, searching for something. Whatever it was, he found it because a few seconds later he shook his head. “No.”

“Then, what--”

“You -- the you from now. That Steve...he yearns for the past. For Peggy. For what could have been. You don’t.”

Steve laughed. “You’re my past. My present. My future.”

“Not for him,” Tony said.

Steve shook his head. “Not yet.”

The moment dragged out and Steve didn’t know what was happening or what Tony was getting at.

“I’m...I could love you,” Tony said eventually. He shook his head, laughed a little. “So easily.” He ducked his head, suddenly bashful.

Steve had never seen Tony like that. But this Tony was gentler and softer and his lips were quirked up when he looked at Steve again.

His second kiss with Tony felt inevitable. It was soft. Cautious and curious -- Tony’s exploration into what if. Steve didn’t even know who leaned in first or how his hands ended up in Tony’s hair. Just that it happened.

Tony didn’t taste like cherries. He tasted like herbal tea and a hint of chocolate. His goatee didn’t scratch. His lips were just a bit chapped, but they fit perfectly on Steve’s and the whole world -- all of reality and time itself could have collapsed and Steve would have stayed in that moment. Forever.

Tony was the one that called Steve -- that time’s Steve -- and asked him to meet.

Stubborn and self-righteous, that Steve came anyway. If out of sheer curiosity or because he felt bound to after the events of New York. It didn’t matter.

Steve stayed out of the way, out of sight until Tony finished telling him. Seeing himself -- this younger version that was so jaded and upset and who just didn’t understand or get that being angry at the world and himself for what happened to him wasn’t going to fix anything -- was more difficult than he’d expected.

“Hey, Steve, seeing him now, I don’t know how I didn’t catch on you weren’t really him,” Tony said eventually, his cue to show himself.

They weren’t all that different in how they looked, but there were noticeable differences once they were next to each other.

“So, you’re me,” this time’s Steve said.

“In a way. Tony explained what he could. We can send you back. Tell you a few things that might help you along the way. You can be with Peggy.”

That Steve’s eyes lit up. He felt hope.

Steve shouldn’t have been surprised that Tony was right. That Steve hadn’t been in the future for too long. His entire life -- everything he knew -- was still in the past. It didn’t take long to tell him about Bucky and Hydra infiltrating Shield. Other bigger details too and then that was that and they got him on his way.

“You told me to be happy,” Steve told Tony after it was all done. “To live my life and be happy. I think this -- us -- it isn’t what he meant. I don’t know if he ever knew how I felt, but--”

“I know,” Tony said.

Their fingers were intertwined. It was as it should be.

In another reality another Steve danced with Peggy.

In another, Steve delivered a shield. Tony watched from behind a tree. And after Sam and Bucky were gone, Tony walked to the bench.

“Regrets?” Tony asked.

“No. Nice to see them -- this version of them.”

Tony kissed his cheek, leaned his head into Steve’s shoulder and they looked out on the lake, lingering in his original reality, but ready to go back to the one that he’d made into his home.

[pinkykitten]

we’ll be okay

Marvel

Peter Parker x Lia Stark (oc) 

Warning: death, did not re-read srry, sadness 

Specifics: angst, romance, fluff, comedy, one-shot, oc

People: ...everyone....

Words: 3,375

Requested: By @barnes-parker peter parker x stark!reader, if you accept ocs her name is Lia, please hehe. they both reunite in the battle after peter was gone for 5 years. they both miss each other then share a kiss before they go on with battle, thank you!!! <33

Authors Note: i actually cried so hard while writing this beauty of an oc(༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ). i love how it turned out regardless lol. if you havent seen endgame like pls do not read this cuz there is spoilers up in here. thank you for requesting if yall know me i love writing yalls ocs like so much so thanks and hope you peeps love this one!(ˇ⊖ˇ)

All this time Lia spent fighting, convincing herself it wasn’t the end. Peter was not really dead. “I’ll use all that my father has taught me.” She would reason with herself over and over again. Trying every formula, every possible way and she always felt she was missing something. All the fails she has had just ended in sadness and loneliness. 

“Dad I’m back,” Lia entered into her father and Pepper’s house. It was cozy, a comforting feeling that actually felt normal. Lia never blamed her dad for leaving and trying to start a new life. He went through something traumatic and didn’t want to waste his life away trying to cure or fix a problem that was not fixable. Lia smiled, running her hands through the drawings Morgan put up. They were happy drawings, dolphins, rainbows, stars, unicorns. “At least someone has an imagination.”

“Lia?” Morgan ran down the stairs, jumping into Lia’s arms. 

“Hey sweetie,” she gushed over Morgan’s cuteness, it never got old. “Did you take down that evil pirate yet?”

Morgan squinted her eyes and went into her battle position. “I’m glad you asked. He’s been hiding all morning, I think I may need some back up.” Morgan lifted her arm up just like her father presenting a fake Iron Man arm. 

Lia set her purse down and got on her knees, ready to “fight”. She scanned the area. “Alright sport, so we gotta the evil land of Legos right in the living or dead room. In the cafeteria base we got a,” Lia gasped as she through her keys to make noise in the kitchen. “I think we found him Morgan.”

Morgan put on a brave face and they charged into the kitchen. Morgan impersonated Tony’s blast noise. The high pitch shriek probably waking the whole house up. Lia pretended to fight the pirate. Swinging back and forth, “I think I got him Morgan!”

“No wait! Mrs. Lavender is still on the battle field. She’s gonna get hurt. We’ll never make it!” Morgan pointed to a teddy bear lying in the middle of the hall. 

Lia as fast as she could ran and slid to pick up Mrs. Lavender, “got her!”

Morgan clapped her hands excitedly, “thank you Lia! You saved the day!”

Lia ruffled Morgan’s hair, “couldn’t have done it without you.” Lia picked Morgan up but was startled by a certain clapping. 

“Wow, my two girls are having fun without their dear, old, dad,” Tony grinned, a twinkle in his eyes making Lia feel calm about his safety and happiness. 

“Yeah daddy, you are old!” Morgan giggled as Tony scoffed. Lia sat Morgan on the counter, “sorry dad, did we wake you?”

“No not really. Beside’s I love to hear you guys laugh,” he went to Morgan and picked her up hugging his youngest tightly. He brought Lia in the group hug, loving both his girls. “So,” Tony clapped, “did you have breakfast yet?” Tony asked Lia. 

“No not yet, but I can make it.”

Tony set Morgan down. She jumped up and down raising her hand high up, “ooh ooh I know what I want! I would like a cheesy egg sandwich.”

“Then you shall get that my dear warrior princess Morgan,” Lia deepened her voice to sound high and mighty. As Lia got the items out Tony leaned against the counter, sipping his morning coffee. 

“So, how have you been doing?”

Lia put the eggs in the pan. The sizzle of the food was the only thing heard. Lia hated that question. She always wanted to breakdown and tell her dad how she truly felt but she didn’t want to pain her father or see him in distress, especially not in front of Morgan. Tony sensed the issue and called for Morgan, “hey baby, why don’t you go in the living room and watch some TV?”

Morgan nodded and sprinted off, following her dads orders.

“...Lia, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

Lia faked a smile, “I’m fine dad...I just miss him thats all.”

“I know sweetheart I know,” he embraced Lia, kissing the top of her head. “I do too. He was, he was something else that kid.”

Lia cried silently into her dad’s shoulder. 

“You know its okay not to be okay. Even though I have my family I still miss him.”

Lia wiped her tears in distraught, “yeah but how do you move on? I try to dad, I really do and it just feels like I never can. I see him all the time. I hear him. I miss holding his hand, his laugh, just everything about him. Its like I will never get over him...never.”

Tony bit his lip in thought. He wished he could take Lia’s pain away. To make her feel good again but after what happened he counted himself as one of the lucky ones, blessed that he still had the loves of his life with him. 

“Do you still try?”

Lia’s lips trembled as she watched the sprinklers turn on outside from the window. The heartache she felt was unimaginable. “All the time, dad...everyday.”

Tony was about to lecture his daughter but he was interrupted by a knock at his door. 

“Hold on.”

Tony went outside leaving a curious Lia. She could hear chattering quickly back and forth. She peaked through the window to see Natasha, Steve, and Scott. She gasped as her heart sped up. Could this be they found something?

“Hey who knocked?” Pepper asked, drying her hair as she just came out of the shower. 

Lia knew Pepper didn’t like discussing about what happened and frankly neither did Tony. “Oh its nothing Pep-”

“Mommy its the Avengers!”

Lia mentally slapped her self as she got a look from Pepper, “what? That is nothing to me.”

Pepper looked out the window, annoyed as well. “Hey honey why don’t you go save daddy.” Pepper told Morgan. 

Lia eyes widened as she heard the muffling voices of them. She heard about a Time Heist and going back in time to save all humanity and bring back all those who were snapped away. Morgan ran outside “saving” Tony. Tony walked back inside, looking distraught at remembering the past. 

“Hey dad are you o-”

“Yeah I’m fine I just need to think for a moment.” Tony walked to the backyard with Pepper going after him. 

Lia knew something was up. She couldn’t let this opportunity go. Opening the door she startled the others. “You think you can save them.”

They all looked shocked at one another, “Lia we told your dad already he didn’t want to-” Steve started. 

“Thats my dad, thats not me. I heard about all of it, the going back in time and all that my question is...do you think it will work?”

Scott smiled as he knew they had gotten Lia on their side. “We have a plan.”

Lia had just helped put Morgan to sleep when she heard F.R.I.D.A.Y come on and could hear her dad downstairs. Sleepily, she wobbled to see what he was up to. To her amazement he was putting the plan Scott had talked about together. Tony almost looked as if he were about to cry as he saw it was possible. 

“Holy sh*t!” Lia broke her cover. 

“Hey young lady what are you doing up at this time?” Tony quickly took off the model. Acting like nothing happened. 

“No, no, no! Don’t pull that crap on me. I saw everything! I heard what they were talking about earlier. Dad if there is a way-”

“Sweetheart this is just a model, its not for sure that it will work.”

“Are you serious right now? So what? Dad if there is even a small chance that I might be able to bring Peter back, you da*n right I will. I will keep trying and trying until my very last breath.”

Tony was quiet, knowing this mattered a lot to Lia. 

“Dad I know you’re scared. I know you don’t trust Cap but we’re in the endgame. We are more than desperate. You have Morgan and Pepper and thats great an all but its sometimes not fair. I feel like I don’t have no one. There are people out there that have no one. I want to help, I want to go back and change what needs to be changed.”

“You...”

Lia clenched her fist, “what?”

“You...you forgot about you. I have Morgan, Pepper and you. Baby, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should tell them or just keep it locked up in a box forever. Should I set it free?”

Lia placed a hand on her father’s face, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Dad I believe you will make the right decision.” Lia was about to go back to bed but Tony called out to her, “you want to help me work on it?”

Lia beamed as she embraced her father. Nearly suffocating him. “Thank you daddy. Thank you.”

All night Lia and Tony worked on the model to perfect it. Only donuts, cookies, candy and coffee keeping them up for the job. Until the morning, “its perfect dad. I can’t believe it, it might actually work.”

Everyone got the stones back. A life was lost during that. Lia kept a remembrance of Natasha as she fought alongside her father. 

“I can’t let you do this Lia. You’re too young and you can’t fight with me.” Tony gripped your arms tightly as Thanos sat only a few feet away, waiting. 

“I have to kill that monster dad! He killed Peter!”

“No okay no! I can’t risk losing you too.”

They all fought with Thanos as Lia awaited behind some debris. Thanos punched her father and Lia flew to Thanos. She made a version of the Iron Man suit for herself just less technical. She always thanked her father for teaching her those things. Teaching her from when she was little about atoms to now saving all of humanity. She knew the great importance knew what was at stake and in the end all she wanted to do was bring back all those people. 

“How dare you touch my dad!” Lia screamed as she fought Thanos. Getting in a few good punches but Thanos caught her leg, swinging her, her hitting a piece of debris. 

“No!” Tony yelled as he flew to Lia’s body. “Baby, stay with me, baby?” He took his mask off to inspect his daughter further. “Sweetheart please talk to me.”

Lia took her mask off. Her nose dripping with blood as it seeped in between her teeth, she smiled, “I’m okay dad, just...thats gonna leave a bruise.” She looked to see Steve. He stood there seeming to wait. “Dad?” Lia pointed up into the sky and down came Thanos’s battle. 

“Holy sh*t,” Tony whispered in fear. They were only a few and this army was coming down from the sky. It was all over. Tony shook as he remembered the past. All the nightmares, panic attacks, they were all resurfacing, and Lia was not safe at home like last time...she was here, about to fight. 

Lia could sense her father’s fear, placing her small hand on his, “dad, its okay. At least I am with you.” Tony’s lips trembled as he accepted his and his daughter’s fate. 

“A voice...,” Lia shushed her father as she listened intently. She could hear a voice on Steve’s ear piece. “Dad?”

All of a sudden portals started to open up. Out came King T’Challa, Okoye, and Shuri. Lia held onto her dad, fearing this was all a dream. “Dad...whats going on?” Lia felt her heart beating rapidly. 

“Oh my god...,” Tony and Lia stood, amazed. 

The portals opened up, one by one. All those who had been snapped away were...there. Lia placed her hand on her mouth, shocked. Could it be? Planet Titan appeared and who swung by was no other than Peter Parker. 

“Oh my god dad look,” Lia looked to Tony and then Peter, sobbing uncontrollably. 

When Peter made instant contact with the ground his eyes searched for no other than his love, Lia. 

Lia stood, silent, breathless. She wanted to scream at him, call his name but it all felt so surreal, like a dream. Peter looked and looked until his brown, puppy eyes landed on Lia’s. His smile melted Lia’s heart as he looked at her full of love. 

“Oh Peter!” Lia flew to him, not even bothering to close the mask. With a loud thud she landed in front of him. “Oh my god Peter...is it really you?”

Peter chuckled, his eyes getting watery. His hands found themselves on her cheeks. Her smile never faltering. “It is Lia...it really is me. I’m,” he glanced around her, his head down, “I’m sorry Lia. I’m sorry for everything that I have put you through.”

Lia scooted her face to be under his. His eyes widened as he saw her beaming grin, tears falling effortlessly down her face. “Peter, you have nothing to be sorry of. It was not your fault. I’m so happy you’re here. You can’t believe how much I missed you-”

Peter picked her up in a embrace. Twirling her around as he giggled and cried, stuffing his face in her hair. “I felt so lost without you too. When Dr. Strange told me how long you had waited, I just, I cannot imagine.”

“But its okay now because you’re here with me and I’m never ever letting you go Peter,” Lia and Peter fell onto their knees. Peter inched closer and closer until finally kissing the love of his life. Lia closed her eyes, her lips moving slowly with Peter’s. Peter kissed all over her face making her chuckle. 

“I love you so much Lia,” Peter exclaimed as he held onto her tightly, not wanting to let go. 

“I love you 3,000 Peter.”

Peter stood alongside Lia, the two holding hands. “Are you ready?”

“Oh yeah Peter, I think I’m ready to kick some as*.”

Peter and Lia knelt down, giving their superhero landing. Peter covered his face and so did Lia.  

“AVENGERS...!” Steve shouted...”assemble.”

In that instant they were ready. Lia flew into the air alongside her father and Pepper. Blasting any of the enemy she can get her hands on. 

They gave Peter the gauntlet. Peter was saved but then he crashed leaving Lia worried, “Peter!” She quickly flew to him, forgetting about the battle and only about his safety. 

Carol swiftly took down one of Thanos’s ship. Peter lay against a piece of debris. “I don’t know how you’re gonna get through all that.”

Carol smirked, “don’t worry,” Wanda appeared. All of a sudden the women superheros appeared. 

“She’s got help,” Okoye held her head up high. 

Lia giggled as she landed beside Peter, “she will always have help.”

The ladies all shouted and proceeded to fight. 

He held his gloved hand, all the Infinity Stones placed in their correct orders to be used. 

“And I...am...Ironman.”

One by one they started to disappear. They, the enemy, Thanos and his men, his army all started to wander about but only to poof away, their ashes swarming in the air. 

Until finally, the one and only Thanos disappeared himself. 

There laid Tony. His skin pale as a ghost. Some of his armor already broken off. Lia, everyone knew time was important. That there was not much time left. 

Rhodey, Peter, and Pepper said their goodbyes acknowledging the fate of Tony.

Lia knelt in front of her weak father. Peter stood beside her, consoling her. Lia kept her cries at bay not wanting her father to feel guilty. She held onto his hand. It took everything out of her to not want to scream for her father not to leave. She felt like she needed him, but she was okay. She had people there who loved her and would make sure that she was fine and happy. 

“Hey daddy,” she sniffled as she clutched his limp hand, “its okay. I’m okay. I’m gonna be okay. You can go to sleep. I’ll be alright...I’ll watch over them...I’ll watch over her you have nothing to worry about. Sweet dreams daddy...I love you.” As her tears hit the ground Tony Stark was not alive anymore. He made such incredible memories with everyone. He managed to make an impact on each soul and he left some amazing people that will forever keep his name going. 

Lia sat on the couch, being there for Pepper and Morgan. Everyone watched as Tony gave his last recording. 

“Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn't always roll that way. Maybe this time. I'm hoping if you play this back... it's in celebration. I hope families are reunited. I hope we get it back, in somewhat like a normal version of the planet has been restored, if there ever was such a thing.

God, what a world. Universe now. If you told me 10 years ago that we weren't alone, let alone you know to this extent... I mean, I wouldn't have been surprised. But come on, you know. That epic forces of darkness and light that have come into play. And for better or worse, that's the reality Morgan's going to find a way to grow up in. So I found a private area to record a little greeting in case of an untimely death on my part. Not that death at any time is ever timely.

This time travel thing that we are going to pull off tomorrow... it's got me scratching my head about the survivability of all this. But then again that's the hero gig. Part of the journey is the end. What am I tripping for? Everything is going to work out exactly the way it's supposed to.

I love you all 3000.”

Lia smiled as she wiped her face with her sleeve, holding onto tightly Morgan’s hand. “I think its time.”

They all walked outside. As Lia was about to head outside as well she heard the recording still continue playing. 

“Hey Lia, you still there sweetheart.”

“Dad?” She turned around hastily. 

“Hey kiddo...I hope he’s there with you. I hope you continue growing and learning, and teach Morgan all the stuff I taught you. Don’t teach her the bad things though, Pepper would hate me.”

Lia chuckles as she stares longingly at her dad’s recording, wishing he was there.

“I’m proud of you Lia, I really am. You have grown into such an incredible woman and I’m proud to have you as my daughter but I left you something.”

Lia raises a brow.

“Its in the garage...remember me Lia, but most importantly live on. Live your life how you want it. Make your own story or however the saying goes. I thought if anything should happen to me, theres gotta be a new Iron Man and well I thought who would be better than my own daughter so go and save people ,” a tear cascaded down Tony’s cheek, “now...go get’em.” The recording ended with Tony’s hand laying flat against the recording. Lia held up her hand against his hologram one. She smiled as she ran to the garage. 

As she turned on the lights she gasped in shock, “no way dad!”

Standing in the garage having all the gadgets of the Iron Man suit stood Lia’s own Iron Man suit.

(not mine! do not own!)

“Holy crap that thing is awesome!” Peter said in awe. 

Lia laughed as she saw the beautifully made suit. She saw something peeking from the bottom of the boot and looked to see, “I love you 3,000″ carved from Tony. “I love you too dad.”

After the funeral Peter and Lia walked through the forest are of Tony’s house. 

“You think you’ll be okay babe?”

Lia wrapped her arms around Peter as she got on his back. Peter and her share a laugh as Lia kisses Peter’s cheek lovingly. 

“With you and my family by my side...I’ll always be okay.”

“So, what are you gonna name yourself now that you have the new suit?”

Lia grinned, taking in the setting of the trees, nature, and now knowing her responsibilities

“I am Iron Girl.”

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