#tony is confused

[movienerd22]

Tony: *showing a picture of clearly Peter as Spider-Man doing something dumb on the screen*

Tony: can you explain what you’re doing in this picture.

Peter: *shrugs* that’s not me

Tony: that’s..not you ? *eyebrow raise*

Peter: uh nope

Tony:

Peter: *runs*

[at1r1-p4rk3r]

Peter; at school and just got in trouble: I swear I'm innocent!

Principal; not amused: That's it. Your aunt passed? I'm calling your parents.

Peter: Haha, good luck with that!

Principal: What?

Peter: My parents are DEAD! *unhinged laughter*

Principal: but I have their phone numbers....

[adrixivy]

Peter has surely been through multiple injuries. It’s whether the Avengers know it or not. If they don’t, well it’s just one of the major bombs he drops on them and walks off casually.

Like a simple “Oh you know a building fell on me before?” Or a “I nearly got killed by a train before!” And cue everyone being shocked and then he walks away or change the subject so easily the avengers didn’t even realise

I can imagine him also always saying “Been there, done that” whenever a villain reveal their ‘grand’ scheme but he has already experienced that pain and he’s not amused yet not happy either

Villain planning to get superhumans such as himself and Steve to experiment on and clone them for some army to take over the world.

Peter simply scoffs and everyone looks at him, wondering his reaction. Peter, noticing the looks are looking at them weirdly in return too.

Peter: What?

Tony: Why’d you scoff

Peter: Is it abnormal to?

Tony, shaking his head: No, it’s like you’re unamused by his scheme

Peter, nodding with a smile tugging onto his lips: Oh yeah. Someone tried that before, mr villain! You’re not the original! I saw it firsthand!

The villain is disheartened and maybe distraught. The avengers are looking him wide-eyed in terror and Tony immediately pulls the “We’re discussing that later” card and they beat the villain’s ass

Though it doesn’t have to be a bad guy’s scheme all the time.

Clint, having fell from 20 stories and just finished surgery, lying on the medbay bed with a smug smile that shouldn’t be on at the first place: I hold the highest record!

Everyone is either unamused or sighs. Peter on the other hand:

Peter, not knowing what he’s about to say will crush Clint’s soul and adding it innocently: Oh I dropped down 24 floors before! Does that mean I hold the highest record instead?

Tony, eyes and mouth wide in shock and severely concerned, remembering that Peter hates hospitals and he probably didn’t have surgery after that fall: You WHAT?!

Clint, getting up and wanting to go to the nearest window to get the highest record: Someone take this needles off me, I need to jump off right now. It’s the 40th floor so I will win if I survive

Natasha, holding him down: Friday, lockdown the building and forbid Clint from going out of said building.

[spideyson-stuff]

Tony always forgets his rule of never taking things directly from another person when he's with Peter

And it's so funny because he goes CRAZY when he realizes that Peter refuses to give him things directly, it's HILARIOUS!

Peter: Mr. Stark, your coffee!

Tony, going to take the coffee from Peter's hands IMMEDIATELY with a smile on his face: Thanks kid-

Peter places the coffee on a nearby counter and walks away with a smile on his face, Tony doesn't understand why he didn't just hand it over to him directly?

This happens more and more often with various things, papers, clothes, drinks, tools, Peter always leaves things near Tony for him to pick up but does not hand them over directly

Tony is honestly starting to get annoyed, why can't he just hand it over to me instead of making me go through the trouble of picking it up?

And one day, he confronts Peter about it

He is next to Rhodes talking about something, Peter arrived with the coffee they ordered, Peter always gets coffee for himself, Tony, Pepper and Happy when he comes over on Fridays and Saturdays, and leaves it on the counter for everyone to grab when they arrive

But when Rhodes is here he gets Rhode and Tony's coffee separately and "hands" it to them while they talk, Peter with a bright smile hands Rhodes the coffee in his hand and Rhodes takes it smiling, lucky bastard...

Then Peter leaves Tony's coffee on the table and gets up to leave, saying goodbye

Tony: Hey, Underoos

Peter: Uh? Yes Mr. Stark?

Tony: The coffee

Peter: Uhhhhh... it's right there? what?, did I got the wrong one? or-

Tony: Why don't you give it to me in my hand like you did with Honey Bear?

Peter stands in confused silence and Rhodes spits out his coffee in SHOCK

Tony:... What?

Peter: Uhm... don't you have a "never hand me things directly" rule?...

Tony turns red and starts stuttering something about "wait, no, that's not what I- YOU GOT IT WRONG!" Peter gets even more confused and Rhodes starts losing the shit out of him laughing how much of how idiot his friend can be sometimes

Peter hands the things over to Tony directly from then on, even if there are people around, everyone is shocked and Tony blushes slightly because, damn, his blind trust in this boy is so obvious?

[emdashbitch]

your honor I think they would be great friends

[aurumacadicus]

Lol. Lmao even.

--

"So, what does a typical Avengers meals look like?" the interviewer asks, smile wide and mean.

Steve hates these types of questions. Everyone knows he and Thor eat like horses. There are pictures of them with their own table laden with food after really strenuous battles while the rest of the team sit at a different one floating all over the internet. Sometimes Bruce joins them, if he'd been Hulked out for a long time.

It's a question to shame Natasha and Tony. It always is, no matter how sincerely the interviewer smiles or insists it's just to see that they're real people. No one gives Steve side-eye when he talks about eating three bagels smothered in lox and cream cheese, but if Natasha mentions ice cream, there are half a dozen articles about how that ice cream goes straight to her thighs. Tony gets pitying looks for trying to keep up with a literal god and the peak of human perfection as he's told he's looking great--for a man his age.

Clint seemed to fly under the radar. He used to gloat, until Bruce had snapped that it was probably because there was a webpage dedicated to pictures of him crawling out of dumpsters during battle after a particularly vicious interviewer had asked Tony if he worried about getting too fat for his suit, and left Natasha visibly rattled when asked if she was taking steroids to stay in shape. He'd apologized immediately after, but Clint had stopped taking joy in being the disaster Avenger when Natasha and Tony started glancing at watches with smiles growing more plastic by the second.

Steve has half a mind to tell the interviewer they all eat protein-filled gruel designed by SHIELD just to get her attention away from them, but Natasha had scowled at him the last time he'd tried to stage a rescue in front of cameras, and he'd taken it as the warning to back off that it was.

"I've gotten real into smoothies," Tony answers, and he actually sounds enthused. "And Natasha's my willing guinea pig. These heathens," he adds, waving at the rest of them. "Wouldn't know a good flavor profile if their lives depend on it."

"He's figured out a chocolate and almond butter recipe with coconut water that tastes just like an Almond Joy," Natasha adds approvingly.

Steve watches the interviewer's face twist with fake sympathy as she winces and hisses through her teeth, hand clenching into a fist on his thigh. He just has to let this happen, he reminds himself. Then they can go home and he can remind Tony and Natasha that they are probably the healthiest normal people in all of SHIELD. Maybe Tony will make that protein-packed smoothie that tastes just like caramel apple pie for him that is probably supposed to embarrass him but he actually really likes.

"Ooh," the interviewer says with another wince. "But aren't smoothies just full of sugar? Wouldn't it be better to eat whole fruit?"

Natasha raises an eyebrow. She opens her mouth, but closes it again when she notices that Tony is openly gawking at the woman like she's personally reached over and slapped him. She leans back in her seat, brows furrowing together as she clearly tries to puzzle out why he looks so shocked.

Tony blinks, once, hard, before he says, "I used to do cocaine, Christine. I think a little sugar from fruit juice is fine."

There's a brief pause as the words sink in, and then Clint spews the water he'd been nervously gulping, and Bruce starts howling with laughter, and it pretty effectively ends the interview there, because no one has heard Bruce laugh that hard outside of the tower and Natasha looks seconds away from guffawing as well.

[worstloki]

I actually think it would be so funny if Thor adapted to Midgardian clothing and such, wearing t-shirts and jeans and after Asgardians start settling on Earth that's generally what has to happen. But Loki keeps wearing his complicated leathery Asgardian clothing for the apparent sole purpose of jump-scaring any visitors to New Asgard

[aritkca]

im dead💀

[stxar-pvnk]

Peter: Mr stark. Are you... adopting something?

Tony sweating nervously: nO!-

Peter: oh good I'm allergic to cats!

Tony shakily putting the adoption papers for him away in the new ironspider suit for later

[movienerd22]

Steve: so Tony.. where’s the flying cars huh

Tony: what ? what flying cars, that’s not a thing

Steve: mhm sureee I bet your just keeping them for yourself

Tony: what are you even talking about.. flying cars did you hit your head coming out of the ice

Bucky: *walking in* Howard promised the world flying cars

[sweetsouldhavernas]

Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David ↳ UNDER COVERS

[thwackk]

REAAAGHHHHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[jarvispoptart]

Tonynat my favorite twins <3

They’re so alike I could yap about them and their potential for hours.

(I don’t ship them, they’re brother/sister to me)

Like cmon who doesn’t like a mamas boy/girl who can’t have kids duo💔

[notbroadwaybound]

Jonathan Groff when he sees Daniel Radcliffe win a Tony Award

[tratshka]

Girl...Wtf is the mcu doing at this point......

[jksnrabbit]

Trudy vs. Trudy vs. Tony [w.i.p]

couldnt wait til wip wednesday. peachyville has been driving me insane and im losing my mind

i would definitely put episode 5 up there as one of their best episodes