#toxic discourse

[alys-is-rabbit]

People tend to wonder why british people tend to respond to mocking british food and stuff with hard hitting stuff like school shooting jokes. I think you might get the emotional response a bit better if you understand you're literally mocking the food they eat at home, sometimes the food their grans made. Americans seem to struggle with the idea that people can have full entire lives without being american, and I think it leads to arguments like this

[luvsjimmyreed]

Jimmy Reed: On 'You People'

Question: Why do so many people consider the phrase 'you people' to be offensive? Jimmy Reed: Well, my lovely, I think it's not so much the phrase per se that many people take issue with. For instance, if you were to say something like... "you people are awesome"... I don't think most people would find that to be offensive. It's the fact that, more often than not, people use that phrase to make negative comments in a generalizing sort of way. It's the whole promotion of 'us versus them' that's problematic. That's why it's better to point to specific behaviours, rather than labelling people themselves. No one group of people is a monolith!

[shyjusticewarrior]

At some point "fanfic can be as good as professional writing" became "fanfic should be as good as professional writing" and that's caused major damage to fandom spaces.

[carebeartherese]

I love it when the internet convinces me I’m a horrible person for having a different opinion and I sit and think for a while about maybe I do suck

[solargeist]

What is double life scarian yuri like?

tha same as canon i imagine

[shmeas]

Some people are so annoying about shipping these days like

“Can’t two guys just be friends??!!”

Like?? No?? Not if I have any say in it.

[kiwisandpearls]

maybe I’m missing something but I’ve seen people complain how much hate curly x jimmy gets and it’s like…

why??? So many of you guys scream to the high heavens about how much you guys love toxic yaoi and yet some of you guys can’t even handled curly x jimmy??? The heck???

[f4ggydog]

yj fans will swear on their lives that they love toxic yuri but draw the line on lottie letting herself be harmed for shauna…what kind of toxic yuri do u guys like then? small arguments and then making up 10 minutes later? it’s always the same accounts too #noticing

[johanna-swann]

The thing is that the reasoning behind Eddie picking this fight doesn't even make sense at all.

First of all Eddie and Hen talk about Buck and how he almost obsessively worries about his friends which makes Eddie worry about Buck. So originally Eddie is concerned for his best friend because Buck is paying so much attention to other people.

In that same convo they also mention that Buck was trying to figure out how Eddie is handling his grief, so they have talked about Eddie's grief. Maybe Buck didn't go about it in the most sensitive way, but he genuinely wanted to know how Eddie is doing and asked a ton of questions.

But apparently Buck is still selfish because he didn't specifically ask: "Hey, what was it like for you getting that phone call?" As if that's a normal question to ask. As if you can just casually pepper that into a conversation. You can ask: "How are you holding up?" or "Are you okay?" and then you let the other person talk about whatever detail bugs them most. Which Buck did! They did have conversations about Eddie's grief.

And Eddie has been talking to everyone who will listen how he's "sorry I wasn't there" and "I feel guilty I wasn't there" and "maybe I could've done something". It's not like Eddie has been bottling these things up, he already expressed that feeling to Ravi and talked about it more with Hen and Karen.

Then they have a conversation where Buck reveals he knows about the job offer and is slightly miffed he didn't hear about it from Eddie himself, but still congratulates him and this just sets Eddie off in such a way he does a complete 180? Suddenly Buck is making everything about himself again and being selfish and doesn't care that Eddie is grieving too? If Eddie had got annoyed that Buck is still somewhat passive aggressive about the moving to El Paso thing - okay, kinda makes sense at least. But Eddie is the one who suddenly makes this about Bobby and his grief while completely ignoring that Buck basically just lost his surrogate dad. Eddie and Bobby were friends, good friends, but he was not Eddie's father figure. And he just keeps yelling and yelling and even gets physical with Buck.

As previously established - Buck did care about Eddie's grief. He did ask questions. Eddie is choosing to ignore that and verbally attack his best friend instead. And that's not even the end of it.

The next morning, not in the heat of the moment, but after Eddie had a whole night's sleep to cool off and after Buck has already apologised Eddie apparently still feels like he should mess with Buck's feelings further. Why? What kind of purpose does this action serve except hurt Buck? Eddie already confronted Buck, already said his piece, already got an apology. What the hell else does he want?

I wish the show would for once frame this behaviour in a way that clarifies Eddie isn't in the right. Because somehow these fights always end with Buck apologising and Eddie doing nothing, but they're besties again anyway. To me this signals that Eddie is right, Buck is childish and selfish, yelling at your friends is okay (you don't even need to apologise) and Buck deserves this treatment. I don't think this is what the show wants to say, but it's what comes across.

[bekkachaos]

my most boomer opinion you ask?

I miss the days when fandom and shipping wasn't a war to see whose ship would be canon, and you could just enjoy your cute little guys falling in love and if you didn't like a pairing, well, you just didn't ship it.

[celtrist]

It's okay to be emotional over a ship.

It's okay to be emotional over a ship. It's okay to be emotional over characters. It's okay to share grievances over a ship as much as it's okay to gush over a ship. It's okay to feel so overwhelmingly negatively over a ship just as much as it's okay to feel so overwhelmingly positive.

While it's always going to be better to focus on positives, it can also be just as good to let out any negatives you might have about something rather than bottling it in and, for some, feeling alone in your thoughts about it.

It is so, so, SO OKAY to be so heavy in emotions concerning a ship whether negative or positive because it means you're invested in the characters and their relationships. When spaces seem to allow only positivity when some people might have some negative thoughts on a ship, it really negates any conversations about it and even understanding sides of why someone may or may not ship something.

While understandable, there is a double standard between being negative and positive about ships (or portrayal of characters). If you feel overwhelmingly negative about something, "you need to go touch grass". If you feel overwhelmingly positive about something, "go at it queen". I would personally argue we all need to touch grass.

It is NOT okay to harass others. It is NOT okay to let your emotions dictate that you should attack somebody for LIKING a certain ship or DISLIKING a certain ship. Your emotions DO NOT dictate how OTHERS should feel.

It is okay to be negative about a character or ship as much as it's okay to be positive about them. Neither side of being for or against a ship is more virtuous than the other. It's okay to have some fucking emotions regardless if they're positive or not, because it means you CARE about the media and the characters in it.

No, you should not revolve your whole online experience in negativity. Find the positive in things you DO enjoy. But to brush off people who vehemently might dislike a character or ship as "losers with no lives" is to disregard a person's emotions on something. And if you do wanna think that mindset, congrats, people who obsessively love a character or ship are just the same by your logic. Obsession is obsession, regardless if it's negative or positive.

TL;DR, If it's okay to be overwhelmingly positive in liking something like a ship or character, it should be just as okay to be negative in disliking something like a ship or character. Just as long as it's not the ONLY thing you focus on and no one is actively being bullied, attacked, or harassed about it. And of course, either way, positive or negative, it is all fiction, and a real person should not be attacked or harassed for it. And if you don't want to indulge in negativity you might have, 100% valid. Both sides always need to take a step back into reality.

[sweetbananachips]

people’s inability to understand that some ships are shipped BECAUSE they’re toxic will be the death of me

[chaosxcrushed]

Something something, sometimes the CRK fan base is too serious/protective over some ships, especially PureLily! Just saying that if you do not like another person's taste in ships, don't make your reasoning for it be “because it's not canon”

This mostly goes to the PureLily shippers. As much as we love the ship, it's not canon. In fact, we'd argue that ElderLily has more canonical romantic undertones

Bonus!! Even though we don't ship romantic ShadowVanilla

[kairithemang0]

Hate bitches that are like "if you like the toxic couple as fluffy you're being ooc and don't understand them" like shut UP I want to make the toxic couple fluffy because I THINK IT'S FUN!!! AND I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY FOR 1000 WORDS! Now shut your trap and go chew on some stale white bread

[forchimneyandforyou]

drives me crazy how they keep saying we cant take eddie saying hes straight at face value when at the same time they try to take tommy saying as much as he wants to be hes not bucks last, and him scoffing when buck says eddies straight. these arent the same thing.

eddie is talking about himself. he has the most authority to talk about himself. he knows who he is.

tommy is talking about buck. and tommy keeps trying to attribute shit to buck when he does not have the authority to talk on it. hes not buck, he doesnt get to decide who is bucks last. tommy can decide for himself sure but he cant decide for buck.

and honestly, i dont think some people have ever had an argument where one side is on the defence and the other is on the offence. tommy isnt scoffing that buck says eddie is straight cuz he secretly thinks eddies gay. that has nothing to do with the situation, tommy doesnt give a fuck what eddie is. he cares how buck feels. and instead of saying "i dont feel anything like that for eddie." buck says eddies straight immediately as his defence, leaving room for tommy to think buck might have one-sided feelings which is what tommy is insecure about. and we know buck doesnt cuz later on this man tells maddie he doesnt feel anything like that for eddie.

which is what he should have told tommy instead of breaking the poor guys heart with the most batshit sentence i have ever heard. this whole conversation between these two is the biggest example of a miscommunication trope ive seen in a while.

[cervinae-canine]

some of you people in this community are more comfortable selfshipping with a genocidal maniac or a rapist than selfshipping with a non-white character. and it can be really easy to notice.

Proship / Comship / RPF Do Not Interact or Repost Please !