#toxic workplace culture

[darkobssessions]

I'm getting really angry at how nothing about work or workplaces is geared for neurodivergents and especially autistics.

Absolutely nothing from the set up, the requirements, the social element, the hours, the expectations, the environment. Nothing.

Not the resumes and cover letters, nor the interviews, nor the vague conditions and agreements upon employment.

Am I a bit late to the party? Maybe. But it is because I only found out I was autistic in 2021 and have a patchy work history, leaving jobs, doing part-time gigs, and burning out in my education career.

I'm in severe burnout but also in a position where I have to get independent and fast away from my abusive family. I've basically dedicated my existence to job search, resume writing, and applications for the last 2 years (I lived with my partner for some of that time but had to leave the UK due to no full time job/visa and then with my parents the rest of the time working at the only career I've had that's paid me consistently: education).

The only problem is passion projects are impossible when you're burnt out, and careers often burn autistics out (because of set up of workplace cultures). I love teaching. I don't love demands, social elements and sensory overload.

My experience basically qualifies me most strongly for educational jobs.

But I am finding everyone is requiring so much all of the time, even in the process of hiring and giving you so so so little that it isn't even worth it.

'We'll hire you, but maybe only one day a week.'

'We don't know when you can start, HR has a huge backlog right now we will let you know when we know more.'

'You need to do these 5 trainings before you begin and go book fingerprinting and background checks.'

They want you to give everything and pay you a part-time wage.

Or they want you to give 40+ hours. Or super early in the morning (which is not possible with my burnout, mental health, moods and physical issues). Not to mention the 'benefits' of a minimal number of sick days they pat themselves on the back for 'awarding' you with, let alone miniscule holidays, and sickeningly low pay for cost of living.

It's all so hostile for NDs.

At first I looked and looked for something fulfilling, and since I have experience, education makes sense. I love teaching. But it's not great if I don't want to be burnt out and on the edge of meltdown daily.

Now I am looking for something part-time that leaves me alone and I can come home from not having been completely overloaded (maybe warehouse work, factories, bookstores, grocery stocking). I thought I wanted to be invested in what I was doing but coupled with what I'm experiencing and what I've read from others about their burnout and jobs, it looks like this may be the way to go.

To put this into perspective, even if something seems like a really good fit because of your experience/career/background or interests there will be a catch or a requirement that it is impossible to fulfill. There's a part-time youth instructing job at a recycling centre gearing them up for graduating and careers which sounded like a great fit until I got to the part where it said it needs you to have a driving license since you will 'ocassionally' need to transport students (ages 16-24!).

Why?

Why must I be an educator AND a social butterfly AND a driver and navigator?

Why?!

It's cheaper and better for them if their workers do everything but it's prohibitive to those of us that have issues and disabilities.

I'm sorry but my abilities as a teacher have no bearing whatsoever on my ability to drive. Driving extracts so much energy from me, is terribly dangerous when I am overwhelmed or melting down, and causes me to panic regularly. I don't notice as much what is going on around me when I am overwhelmed and make mistakes if I am pressured. I have trouble recognising a route even if I frequent it. Places look different at different hours of the day. My ability to navigate is extremely low. My ability to teach is honestly why I was born.

Why must every single role expect you to be neurotypical?

Why to protect our mental health can we only do minimum wage jobs?

Why is this system stacked against us?

I'm so frustrated right now and if I could just make some money to be independent of abuse I could funnel it into creating BETTER for us because we sure as anything deserve it.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

THIS SHOW

Can we talk about how they are literally not wasting a single frame in the storytelling? It's short, but so damn effective.

I've talked before about how this is not just a story about individuals, but about existing within a fucked up system.

It's about how we get accustomed to terrible treatment, because we exist in a space where everyone sees it as normal.

And those who realize it's not normal, those who try to push back, don't tend to last.

But once they're gone, we realize how much they (and their ability to see the truth) were protecting us from things being the absolute worst.

How our acceptance of this kind of life and workplace perpetuates the cycle for the new people as they come in.

And though we think we are only martyring ourselves, it results in the sacrifice of others. Because in our choices for ourselves, we are helping to feed them to the machine.

But it's still so hard to walk away, because you become so numb to it all. Until you are sure that parts of you are permanently broken.

And you also know that these systems are everywhere, they are our society, so who's to say you could ever find anything better?

It's the slow crushing of the soul, that makes you feel like it all could just be so futile.

Which is why what Kai is doing is so brilliant here.

He's not denying the reality of the world they exist in. He's not being pushy or angry about Hiro's choices.

Instead Kai is utilizing temptation, showing that there are things, some of them quite simple, that can bring joy. That can break through the futility.

That prove that you can still feel.

But you have to choose them. Because like all things in this life, they are ephemeral.

The systems might not go anywhere in our lifetimes, but that doesn't mean the choices we make don't matter. For ourselves - and for those who see us do it.

[capybarasatwork]

[mattsmemes]

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Reset From A Toxic Work Environment

Give yourself ample time to reset and indulge in basic self-care. Get a full night's sleep every night, eat a balanced & nutritious diet (most of the time) with meals you enjoy, incorporate daily movement & a consistent exercise routine into your week, read books, listen to music and podcasts that inspire you, hang out with loved ones/people who energize you, indulge in beauty routines/"spa" days and movies/TV shows you love

Once you feel recharged/not burned out anymore, take a step back and reflect on what your values are, your interests, desired lifestyle/workplace environment that best suits your personality and work style. Consider what you want out of your next opportunity instead of letting hiring managers decide for you once your interviewing processes begin. Remember, a job at a company should feel like a mutual fit. Decide to work as an employee, not a corporate slave.

Reassess and decide on your future workplace boundaries ahead of time. Once you're more emotionally distant from your current toxic work environment, allow yourself to act as a neutral observer of the interpersonal dynamics that played out while you were working in your (soon-to-be previous) toxic work environment. Consider any warning signs/red flags you might've ignored early on or certain ways you allowed yourself to be a pushover/people-pleaser to keep the peace while getting to know your co-workers. Looking back, how would you have handled these situations if you had the clarity and self-confidence you have now? Use your answer to this question as a roadmap to decide how you can show up as your best self before/while working in your next role.

Determine ways you can forge workplace connections early on in your next role. Embrace the "new job, new you" mentality here and decide how you want to show up as a sociable co-worker from your first week onward. Greet your team in the morning, engage in some small talk over a break to get to know each other better – try to find mutual interest/express interest in what they're saying, make it a priority to schedule one-on-ones with all team members/close collaborators within your company over the first month, invite co-workers to get coffee/lunch with you a couple of days per week, etc.

[nico-di-genova]

Well, lestappen gate was fun while it lasted.

[confessmau]

something important to remember btw is its not just jess being a bad writer or her relationship with aaron that makes her a bad person. she fired several people without warning. fired vas by never reaching out to them (without telling them they were fired). overworked her vas to the point one of them ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. not to mention many other small petty things such as queer baiting, microaggressions written into her series, etc. while the tiktok video is a step in the right direction she has still done SO MUCH HARM. and i say this as someone who has been a fan of aphmau and her old content for 10 years

~~

[isawthismeme]

[whatacaitastrophe]

detouring a little bit from my usual content (okay, a lot), but all i've been able to think about for the last week is the fact that i spent the last six months getting absolutely gaslit into thinking i’m fucking terrible at a career i’ve otherwise excelled at, and there’s a pretty good chance someone else needs to hear this too:

crying at work is not normal.

going to bed on sunday evenings dreading monday morning is not normal.

being expected to be on call and available 24/7 for a job that DOES NOT require you to be on call is not normal.

you are not lazy, or a bad employee, or a bad coworker because you didn’t take your work laptop with you on vacation, and being made to feel guilty about being unavailable whilst on vacation is not normal.

being made to feel guilty about how much higher your salary is than your less experienced coworkers, and how unfair it is that they make less than you, when you make a mistake is not normal.

being expected to be in a leadership position when that isn’t in your job description, and without the title and the salary to go with it, is not normal.

being expected to understand the scope of a job and to perform that job successfully when you don’t have all the tools (training, a full list of tasks you are supposed to be performing), despite repeatedly asking for the tools, is not normal.

being blamed and called lazy because others are “doing your job for you” when your BOSS was the one who asked them to do tasks that should have been assigned to you, is not normal.

also, if you find yourself sitting at your desk with nothing to do, and everyone else is complaining about how busy they are, chances are your boss is delegating your work to someone else instead of you, and that's not normal-- ESPECIALLY if you ask your boss if they have anything they need you to work on and they say "no."

if a company doesn't have a local HR person, and HR has absolutely NO IDEA why you got let go / what your "performance issues" were that led to you being let go, because they were not looped in until your boss emailed them to tell them you were being let go? that is NOT. NORMAL.

if any of the above has happened to you at work, RUN. run as fast as you fucking can.

[girlwithalottosay]

sometimes I don’t understand why are we in our early 20s giving more than half of our lives to these hellhole of a job which doesn’t appreciate us for anything at all. Is this what i’m supposed to live for the rest of my life? all of this education and struggle of years and years just to feel completely powerless and not in control of how i spend my time and what i do with my weekends? what is this hustle culture? what is it that i’m really going to get by climbing the corporate ladder. I don’t see it getting better. 2 years and it has already crushed my soul and pushed me into a hole of depression. I do wanna believe that not all jobs are like the one I have and I just have been too unfortunate to get a really screwed, narcissistic and insecure manager and a company that doesn’t know how to have a healthy culture for it’s employees. But honestly I don’t see the light at the end of this tunnel. There’s just going to be different shades of bleak black at different companies but nothing will ever be actually good. Because of course we don’t live in an idealistic world. but this is not even realistic. you expect us to work with perfection, have no personal time offs, have no complaints, gel with each and every person we work with, be productive on all days, no be sick and not expect a single word of appreciation if we do things well. What the hell is this??? And why are adults who know very well this is how corporate culture is pushing their children to have such miserable and mediocre lives. I wish someone must’ve stopped me. I will definitely try and stop the young children in my family from choosing this dreadful path.

[nando161mando]

I constantly get accused of making trouble by bringing up pay discrepancies and not doing enough work. These have made an appearance all over my workplace.

[attorney-anon]

Just found out my former boss has apparently told multiple people (including recently) that she wants to beat me up for leaving the firm back in January.

And I hope she does! Suing her for assault & battery would be so much fun for me.

[capybarasatwork]

[thowawayuntilfurthernotice]

While I did get a chuckle out of those NSFW SpongeBob drawings, a part of me can’t help but feel weirded out by the fact that they even exist to begin with.

Not because it’s NSFW art that’s drawn by the show’s animators, but because it perfectly sums up how toxic Nickelodeon’s work environment was at the time.

I dunno if much has changed since the Dan Schneider scandal broke, but considering that the guy who came across this artwork chose to omit some stuff because a lot of it was just that vile, it really makes me wonder what other fucked up shit went on behind the scenes at Nickelodeon during that era.

And yes, before anyone says anything, I am aware of the Rugrats storyboard jam that started out as a goof but quickly devolved into a NSFW cluster fuck.

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi :) I’m in the middle of a career transition but it hasn’t been going very smoothly and I’ve had to wait for ages for updates from HR. Right now, I’m at a standstill in my current department where I don’t want to take on any new work in case I get my new start date, but the people in my dept are taking advantage of that and trying to get me to do work and “squeeze” me for as long as they can. This has really lessened my drive to be around them, and to go into the office, because I just feel like I’ve overstayed and no one really speaks to me unless it’s for work.

Do you have any advice on how to navigate this? And also - if you have any advice on how to be more liked / respected / taken seriously in my new job? I want to be known as this charismatic, outspoken, cheerful person although I’ve executive dysfunction, depression and generally am critical and with high standards (am working on the last one, trying to give more grace to people but they really try me sometimes)

Hi love! Feeling in limbo with your career/everyday routine + responsibilities is very mentally draining, so I empathize with your current headspace and situation.

Personally, I have a very cynical approach to situations out of my control and never believe anything is happening until I see it in writing, have a confirmation message, have a check successfully processed into my account, etc. From my POV, I find it better to be content that all went well versus anticipating a positive outcome to potentially be disappointed if something does finalize in the way I envisioned it to.

If I were in your shoes, I would acknowledge that it's important to try to find a way out of a work environment where you feel like you've overstayed and don't feel appreciated, but operate from a mindset of it is the only option at the moment that is based on reality and not potential, so it's the best to make the most of the opportunity. Operate as though you must stay at your current workplace/position while continuously working towards transitioning to a new role/environment. Make your role there seem like your long-term status quo, so people don't feel the need to take advantage of you or ice you out. Never tell coworkers about another job until everything is finalized.

When it comes to being liked and respected in your new workplace, I would say the following tips can be helpful:

Appear happy to be at your new workplace while remaining generally calm

Say hello to people, shake their hand, and introduce yourself. Ask them their name, and their role. Let them know how your roles collaborate if you can/where in the office you will be so they know you're available to connect

Have a simple elevator pitch prepared: Your title at the company, team/boss you're working for, past job/role, and why you're excited to be at this new company

Dress for the job you want and/or have, especially on the first day or two. First impressions genuinely matter, so help yourself in this regard

Always accept lunch invites, one-on-ones, and any meeting invites for the first week or two (with your boss's approval, of course). Be ready and glad to help with colleagues' projects, too

For your onboarding, have insightful, thought-provoking, and specific questions for your boss/higher-ups on how you can help them meet their goals and open-ended questions/comments that demonstrate working knowledge in your area of expertise

Once you start on your first projects, triple-check your work and ensure you meet all your deadlines. Impress them (without overworking yourself, though). Again, first impressions matter

Set clear goals with your boss and create a plan to achieve them

Contribute insights, articles, related inspiration, etc. to group conversations, meetings, and projects to gain some authority and recognition without overstepping during the early days. This practice demonstrates initiative, enthusiasm, and working knowledge of your role/industry. Showing you understand the big picture is essential to getting noticed and advancing in your career

Remember small details about someone and follow up semi-regularly to ask about how these things are going (someone has a pet, loves to go golfing, etc.). Strong relationships are the key to success, especially in your professional life and business

Hope this helps xx

[learning2balance]

A field guide on conquering a Toxic Workplace!

It's been five years since I first stepped away from a trade, full of energy and eagerness to prove myself. Back then, I was unprepared for the challenges that lay ahead—not the physical demands of the job, but the emotional and psychological toll of navigating a toxic work environment. I quickly learned that survival here isn’t just about competence or hard work; it’s about cultivating a mindset of resilience, sharpening your strategic instincts, and holding onto your inner strength.

What follows is a reflection on the hard-won lessons I’ve gathered, infused with insights from Stoicism, Robert Greene’s *48 Laws of Power*, and my own battles through the dark days. These are the truths I’ve come to know—the wisdom forged in the fires of experience.

The First Lesson: Recognize the Reality

The early days were disorienting. The air was thick with unspoken tensions, egos clashed, and outdated mentalities lingered like shadows. It wasn’t long before I realized that this wasn’t just a job—it was a battlefield. The first step was acknowledging the toxicity without letting it consume me. I learned to see things as they were, not as I wished them to be. Marcus Aurelius captured this truth when he said, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Recognizing the reality of my situation was the first crack of light in what felt like an endless night.

The Second Lesson: Growth Is the Antidote to Stagnation

In a place like this, comfort is a trap. There were days when the easier path was to simply go through the motions, to let the challenges wash over me without resistance. But I knew that comfort in such an environment is dangerous. I had to keep pushing myself, learning new skills, and seeking out challenges, even when it felt like the world was pressing down on me. I held on to the words of Epictetus: “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” My reaction was growth—it was my rebellion against the stagnation that threatened to engulf me.

The Third Lesson: Strategic Mobility Is Key

Navigating a toxic workplace isn’t just about perseverance; it’s about playing the game strategically. I learned to position myself carefully, sometimes making lateral moves or accepting temporary setbacks. Greene’s Law 3 from *48 Laws of Power*—"Conceal your intentions"—became my guiding principle. I realized that not every move had to be visible, and not every victory had to be celebrated. When a high-profile project opened up, I quietly took on extra responsibilities, positioning myself as the ideal candidate without making a big show of it. In this world, strategy isn’t optional—it’s essential.

The Fourth Lesson: Cultivate Self-Reliance

In a place where trust is scarce, self-reliance became my anchor. I focused on building my skills, expanding my knowledge, and connecting with people outside my immediate circle. I made sure that if everything around me crumbled, I would still have something solid to stand on. Seneca’s wisdom resonated deeply: “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” I refused to rely on luck alone. I prepared myself, day after day, so that when the storm hit, I would be ready.

The Fifth Lesson: Mental Fortitude Will Keep You Standing

I’ve watched good people crumble under the weight of this environment—watched their motivation drain away until there was nothing left. But I’ve also seen those who rise above, who thrive despite the odds. What sets them apart is mental fortitude. They keep their eyes on their goals, refusing to be dragged down by the negativity around them. Greene’s Law 1—"Never outshine the master"—taught me to choose my battles wisely, to conserve my energy for the fights that mattered. To build mental resilience, I turned to Stoic practices like journaling and negative visualization. These rituals helped me stay grounded, even when the world seemed to tilt.

The Sixth Lesson: Adaptability Is a Superpower

In this place, change is constant, and adaptability became my greatest ally. I learned to see change not as a threat, but as an opportunity. Marcus Aurelius’ words guided me: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” I took the obstacles thrown in my path and turned them into stepping stones, finding ways to move forward when others might have stumbled. Adaptability isn’t just about surviving—it’s about thriving in the face of adversity.

The Seventh Lesson: Balance and Boundaries Are Essential

It’s all too easy to let the job consume you, to let the demands of a toxic workplace seep into every corner of your life. But I’ve learned, often the hard way, that balance is essential. I made a conscious effort to set clear boundaries, to carve out space for myself outside of work. Greene’s Law 15—"Crush your enemy totally"—taught me that sometimes, the enemy isn’t a person but the job itself. Crushing it means taking control of your life, maintaining your well-being even when the pressure is relentless.

The Eighth Lesson: Keep the Long-Term Vision

When you’re in the thick of it, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. The daily grind can wear you down, make you forget why you’re here in the first place. But I’ve found that keeping a long-term vision is crucial. Whether it’s mastering my craft or moving into management, having clear goals has been my North Star, guiding me through the storms. Epictetus advised, “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” By keeping my eye on the prize, I’ve been able to navigate the short-term challenges without losing my way.

Deepening the Impact: Practical Advice and Support

These lessons aren’t just for reflection—they’re tools for survival. Here’s what I’ve found invaluable:

- Build a Strong Support Network: In a toxic environment, isolation is your enemy. Cultivate relationships with trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends outside of work. They’ll provide the emotional support and perspective you need when things get tough. It’s crucial to have a support system independent of the company—people who will stand by you when the workplace doesn’t.

- Document Incidents. When things go wrong, it’s easy to feel powerless. But knowledge is power, and documentation is your weapon. Keep a detailed record of mistreatment or unethical behavior. This might be crucial if you decide to take further action down the road.

- Seek External Advice. Sometimes, you need to look beyond the walls of your workplace for guidance. Consult with trusted mentors, career coaches, or legal professionals. While the union or HR might be a first step, getting an external perspective can provide the clarity you need.

- Share our Story. There’s strength in numbers, and in sharing your story, you can help others going through the same struggles. Creating a sense of community among those facing similar challenges can be empowering, both for you and for them.

These past five years have tested me in ways I never imagined, pushing me to the brink and pulling me back again. But through it all, I’ve learned that pain can be a teacher, and perseverance, a weapon. The lessons I’ve shared here are not just survival tactics—they’re the keys to thriving in the most difficult of environments. Remember, as Marcus Aurelius said, “The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” In a toxic workplace, your success and resilience are the greatest victories you can achieve. Keep moving forward, and know that every step you take is a step toward a brighter future.

K