#trigger responses

[klawingatthewalls]

Having PTSD sucks because like, a triggering event will happen and you'll feel like a total asshole if you point out what is happening is triggering you. It EXTRA sucks when your triggers are things 110% outside of your control, or at the very least only really reliant on who you surround yourself with.

Like, I have a trigger that is when people I care about fight, or are in distress, unless it is A Crisis. I will freak out. And extra bad is so many years of getting random panic attacks has made it so externally I dont look like im having a panic attack, but internally it feels like my heart is racing and a fucking bear just started chasing me. And ngl, it feels humiliating! You mean my dumbass clams up 50% of the time when conflict happens that I'm not directly involved in? I hate that! I fucking hate it! It feels like I'm a wimp or a coward that is letting her world fall apart.

And then we get to the sorry state of my behavior when I get triggered. If I am lucky like today, I will notice, impliment my therapy techniques, and try my best to go to a more calming and quiet enviroment that I have access to so I can better center myself or healthily express those feelings.

When I'm not lucky, its a round robin between

1. Binge eating, which makes me feel bad and ruins my health goals, thus bringing in guilt and bodu dysmorphia nad gender dysphoria all out to play rigamarole with my greymatter.

2. I get scared so much via a flashback or past thought process coming back that I sit down, cry, and rock back and forth like I did when I was a little kid. This one sucks extra hard because despite all my effort in therapy so far, this one still happens with almost the same intensity.

3. Impulsive excapism. The hilariously tragic conequence of having both adhd, ptsd, and a very active imagination with a tendency to dissassosiate means that sometimes my brain just goes "aw hell naw" and decides it needs to fucking DIP. This then combines with ADHD impulsiveness to make it so I just... buy something. Usually something having to do with the excapist fantasy Im having at that time. Makes it pretty damn hard to budget around too because of the whole IMPULSE THING. Ive manged somehow at this point.

4. Go totally numb. This one is a temp solution my brain does at the worst of times. The times when it realizes "oh, naw, this is too much at once. We need to manage this crisis right now." And is that useful in the moment? Sure! But it really sucks when I get bodyslammed by those emotions 2-3 business days later. Or worse, they slowly and silently creep into me over the next week or two.

I hope my treatment continues helping me with these triggers, but goddamn. Today has been such shit for it that I think I'm going to message my therapist and ask for an emergency session. Hopefully she's okay with that.

[cryptocism]

"escape plan: Fly Outta There" is so chill and cool and normal in theory

[royalarchivist]

Slimecicle: Who's Phone Guy?

Ranboo: Phone Guy? I – hold on, give me a second.

Slimecicle: [Laughs] "Okay, checking the- checking the database."

Ranboo: Oh, a lot of yaoi here in the images tab, that's crazy.

Slimecicle: What is– what is yaoi? Is that like- is that like "yeowch"?

Ranboo: Oh, yaoi? No no no, yaoi– no, yaoi is not–

Slimecicle: When you stub your toe?

Ranboo: –a combination of "yeowch" and "owie."

Slimecicle: Yeowie!

Ranboo: No, it's not– [Laughs] It's not that, actually.

Slimecicle: That's what that is, right?

Ranboo: Yeah, it's just– it's usually just fanart of two guys kissing. That's usually what it is.

Slimecicle: Ok, wait– is phone guy- is Phone Guy kissing?

Ranboo: Phone Guy? Probably? I mean, look at– I want you to take a look at this. Hold on, lemme–

Slimecicle: Ok, so send me Phone Guy yaoi.

Ranboo: Yeah. Here, I got you, lemme– so there's some. Hold on, let me send you some more.

Slimecicle: What the fu–

[ciderjacks]

Chilchuck is one of those special characters where you learn about his past and you go “ohhhh that explains a lot” except where for most characters this happens like once or maybe twice, with Chilchuck it happens literally any time you learn anything at all about him, and every time it’s explaining a different thing he has going on.

[seobot]

[ahappydnp]

wait dan tweeted before dropping BIG? I always thought he posted it with no warning

he tweeted this 22 minutes before he posted BIG

meanest thing he's ever done i cannot explain to you what those 22 minutes felt like

[catofoldstones]

Maybe the reason Sansa comes off as a meek doormat while she’s married to Tyrion is not because she’s a red pilled tradwife, it’s because she’s scared of getting caught for planning her own escape. It’s established within the first few paragraphs of Tyrion’s pov after the wedding that that’s a terrified 12 year old prisoner of war child bride who’s fooling a whole, grown husband and the entire red keep that she’s a little too devotional and absolutely not plotting her freedom in a fortress full of spies, soldiers and noble powerhouses, that too successfully. She’s not concerned that Tyrion’s peas are overcooked, she’s deliberately trying to put up an act so that her cover isn’t blown. She’s outsmarted Tyrion Lannister of all people, and you can die mad about it.

[lesbianjackies]

i did NOT just see someone complain that s3 is “reducing lottie to her mental illness”……….. oh my fucking god two episodes in and the horrible takes are already rampant

[spinaholi]

“Why does hearing your name hurt me // When it hides right there in the vicinity? // What kind of emotion, is it hatred // Or pure sweetness when I hear your name?” - Ma Meilleure Ennemie by Stromae & Pomme

i’m very late with it, but happy @d20exchange!! to my lovely giftee @anonymouslylovesyou i hope you enjoy the calroy and amethar angst as much as i did

[austajunk]

Local small wet blanket considering crying to get out of inconvenient situation, more at 11.

[moonstruck-melts]

I've actually been holding off on publishing any donation asks because half of the ones I've gotten recently are from different accounts that are, quite literally, exactly the same. All of it is the same. I hate to be paranoid but it's making me really suspicious. Anyone else been experiencing this?

[moss-on-trees]

DP X DC Prompt

Jazz and Danny have decided they want more siblings. But since Jack and Maddie are Like That, they can't ask their parents to have another baby so they decide to adopt one. But again, their parents are A Lot so new sib has to be sturdy. The Batkids are an obvious choice (and/or the Superboys. That could also be hilarious.)

At first the Batkids are a little weirded out by the brother and sister duo who are being way too friendly with them and keep inviting them to family dinners, but the Fenton charm works wonders and soon they're looking forward to visiting Amity Park. They're not quite expecting the walking hazard that is Fenton Works or the very obvious super-villain-like behaviour of their parents though. Jazz and Danny, who have grown up in a town where their parents are only considered a public annoyance at best, are completely oblivious to their horror.

[flicklikesstuff]

“Maybe the flash was to blame. Or maybe it’s his shrunken state that gave the looming witch the illusion of being exactly 10 feet tall.

Whatever it was, it had flicked something within. Suddenly, he was no longer a lizard. Nor a great, powerful wizard. Not even “Rick Shades.”

He was a little Gourami.

Only 12 years old. Eyes wide and unobscured. Skin smooth from the lack of scars. But most of all, untainted by the horrors.

And unlike that little Gourami, he was entirely aware of what’s coming for them. He could warn the 12 year old. Maybe save them even. Tell her that continuing this approach is a bad, BAD, VERY TERRIBLY BAD IDEA!!

…

But he couldn’t.”

My inspiration pieces: :)

[askthehedgehogs]

[putting this ask + answer under a readmore for potentially triggering content: tw for fatphobia and fat shaming in the ask itself, although the hedgehogs’ responses are against it! Just stay safe peeps]

Why you—

Dude. Chill. I got this.

Hey there, anon! First of all; fuck that! Not sure what you get outta telling random hedgehogs on the internet to lose weight, but it's wayyy uncool. You're lucky I don't care what you think.

Yeah, I'm a little fat. I've been fat before. It doesn't change how fast I am, how attractive I am, or my overall awesomeness.

Honestly, when I was skinny, it was mostly 'cause I was a homeless teenager who just went through a growth spurt? I had zero stability in my life. Never stopped moving, didn't really know how to take care of myself…

Now, I have an actual place to rest and an adoring husband who cooks like a beast and it feels so much better.

Anyways, the answer is: no thanks! I like myself the way I am. Buh-bye!

...... Anon.

Count. Your. Days.

[timethehobo]

What’s he running from?

[as-i-watch]

There something that hit me so hard about Senshi's griffin panic

First he tried to deflect, and draw the group away from the griffin with whatever excuse he could

And then when that wouldn't hold he just confessed his fear, and the group uncertain and even dismissive

Even when he got most desperate

And then it was too late and he starts to have a panic attack

And its so bad that he gets to the point of running away screaming

And idk it was so real as to the experience of having panic attacks in public, and perhaps over things that other people find little importance in

And for it to seem out of charecter to your friends bc of masking or just how you present yourself, so they dont give it the real weight it deserves

And basically how legitimate anxiety and just fear get belittled and dismissed or how you are pushed to face up to that anxiety and fear when you are not ready bc other people think you can or dont think its gonna be that hard for you