#truth be told I didn't think this would be what I'd draw for the first böle outfit drawing

[mitamicah]

I cannot draw bikes but I love this outfit so I tried my best :'D xD

[justwinginglife]

The Waiting Game

The line between friends and lovers is dangerously thin and Soshiro Hoshina likes to fucking cartwheel down that tightrope like it's his personal plaything.

Any stranger walking by could see he was clearly checking you out, but if asked, he'd simply shrug and say something about how it was his duty as your friend to make sure your fly was zipped or your socks were matching. He never thought to make himself less obvious as he took in the sight of your shirt that dangled just a little too low or your pants that hugged your curves just a little too tight. He didn't have to. If you claimed to notice his wandering gaze, you'd be setting yourself up for a witty rebuttal. He might say, "Oh, look who's paying so much attention to me, if I didn't know better, I'd say you liked me," or even, "Don't go telling me you didn't wear those clothes on purpose, we both know the truth." He had all sorts of banter at the ready, quips locked and loaded. He wanted to corner you, to checkmate you, to coax a confession from your supple lips. Of course he loved you. But it was much more fun to make you admit you loved him too.

And you did. You wore that shirt on purpose, you wore those pants on purpose. You bent over in those pants on purpose. But two could play at this game, and you were awfully good at chess.

If he was a tightrope walker, you were a sword swallower. You could take anything he'd throw at you, gulp it down, lick your lips, and have room for seconds. Maybe throw in a burp for good measure.

So the circus act continued, both of you juggling offense and defense, both of you thinking yourself the lion tamer. It was anyone's guess at this point, who would cave in first.

You pictured the two of you on your deathbeds, your hands wrinkled with age, still trying to wring a confession from each other's throats. It was honestly a terrifying notion, thinking that eighty years from now, your feelings might accompany you to the grave, unvoiced, unreciprocated. But it hadn't been eighty years yet, it had only been one, and your pride was still in prime condition, even despite Soshiro's attempts to wear it down.

When he bragged to you about his hot date, eager for your reaction, you simply pointed him to your favorite flower shop and told him what to buy her. When he ended up not going through with it because some mysterious illness overtook him, an illness that only lasted the length of what would have been the date, you simply smirked and remarked on how convenient it was that his condition was so particular. He had shrugged, saying, "Maybe I was allergic to her, who knows?" You had laughed and he had smiled. Then you both went about your usual day, stealing time from each other whenever you could, sneaking glances, subtly inching closer, the distance both an inch and a galaxy apart.

The gap only widened when Captain Ashiro relayed to the Third Division news of the Winter Ball. It was like prom for soldiers, and when you heard the announcement, you felt like you were right back in high school- everything infamously familiar, right down to the nerves that threatened to swallow you whole.

You could always pull the, "You're single, I'm single, let's go as friends," card. But you weren't sure that either of you would be content with that resolution. Neither one of you wanted to resign yourselves to a night of awkwardly sitting at a side table, using small talk to fill the simmering silence, as you watched other couples slow dance their way into oblivion.

But unfortunately for the both of you, rather than declare a draw, your little game with each other continued, even as the event drew nearer. You'd ask him who he was going with, feigning nonchalance, and he'd dodge the question, feigning ignorance.

At some point, you bought yourself a dress, though you had no idea why. There was only a week to go, and still, no one had asked you for the pleasure of your company on that night, not even him. You weren't sure you should even go. But still, you let your hopes drape from a hanger in your closet, in case maybe he decided to overturn the chessboard, throw the match, ask you out.

Narumi beat him to the punch.

When you asked him why he was asking you so late in the game, he merely shrugged, saying he hadn't realized the ball was happening in the first place, but now he knew and he wanted you.

Soshiro had caught wind of it.

He ignored you until an hour before the dance.

He knew you liked to hide on the roof when you got nervous, and as he climbed the stairs to the top, he begged you to be there. He hoped you were having second thoughts about going with Narumi. He hoped you were pacing in your dress, waiting for him to whisk you away, because he was ready to whisk you away. He had dragged his feet through this whole fucking charade, and now he suddenly found his own pace too exceedingly, disgustingly slow for his liking.

When he got to the roof, all that awaited him was a cold breeze and the night sky. He collapsed on the floor, leaning back to take in all the stars. He didn't care anymore if he got his suit dirty, he only wore it for you anyway. His finger traced patterns of constellations as the white of his breath stained the air. He wished on every single star that he could see you tonight, all dressed up and gorgeous. He didn't have to see you to know you looked stunning. But he had planned to go home after he finished this sulking session. He didn't want to see how happy you looked with Narumi. Of all the people, why did it have to be him? The idea of you with anyone else but him made him ache, but the idea of you with Narumi made him want to tie a noose around his neck.

Another half hour of brooding later, he decided he needed to go home. That, or freeze to death, which would serve him right. But he turned towards the door and suddenly, there you were, his light in the dark, his warmth in the cold. And you were dazzling. He knew you would be. You always were, no matter what you were wearing.

"Y-you're here."

You nodded. "I'm here. And you're here. Why are you here?"

He pulled his jacket tighter around him. "This is your spot."

You raised an eyebrow. "Yes, it is. Were you looking for me?" You tried to keep the hopefulness out of your voice, but it seeped into the frosty air all the same.

He fidgeted with his cufflinks, nodding slowly.

You began walking over to him, and he knew you were going to sit down so he quickly took his jacket off for you to sit on. He didn't want to ruin your dress.

You shook your head at him. "You look freezing, put your jacket back on. How long have you been out here anyway?" You threw his jacket back around his shoulders, plopping down next to him, unbothered by your dress.

He blushed and looked away. "That's not important."

The silence resumed.

"It's your favorite color." You blurted out suddenly, desperate to fill the air with something, with anything.

He immediately knew you meant your dress. He had noticed. "It's nice."

You coughed.

He chuckled. "Alright, it's more than nice. You look breathtaking. Seriously, I'm having trouble breathing with you so close to me." He teased as he nudged you with his shoulder, trying to make light of the awkward situation.

"You don't look so bad yourself. Even for someone who's half frozen to death. So why were you looking for me?"

He bit his lip. "Had a, uh, question... for you."

You settled your head on his shoulder and you felt him tense up. "And what's this question of yours that's so important you almost gave yourself frostbite?"

"Will you.... will you go to the dance with me?" He held his breath as the words left his mouth.

You laughed. "Little late, don't you think? We're about a half hour away from it."

He groaned. "I know, I know. But don't go with Narumi. Please don't. He wouldn't know romance if it shit in his lap. He doesn't know how to treat a woman."

You smirked. "And you do?"

He looked at you properly for the first time that night, his gaze locked on yours with a sudden sense of determination. "Yes, I do. If that woman is you. I know everything about you. I have to. Knowing you is the second greatest pleasure of my life."

"And..." The words caught in your throat, "And what's the first?"

"Loving you."

Your heart soared in your chest. "I love you too."

"So will you be my date to the dance? And the rest of my life?"

You kissed him in response.

Suddenly the cold faded from your bodies, the frigid air rescinding itself from your lungs, as your warmth intermingled in a display of passion.

"So, what should I call this, checkmate?" You teased him as you pulled away from his lips, leaving him wanting more.

He rolled his eyes but nothing could make him less smitten than he was right now. "I call this me throwing the match."

"Well, better late than never, baby."

You kissed him again.

And then the both of you danced the rest of the night into oblivion together.

[spidernuggets]

Jason Todd x Reader

Warning: Mentions of suicide attempt

"You're not crazy, Y/n! If anyone thinks so, they're the crazy ones-"

You laugh. "Thanks, Jason. I like being friends with you too."

"Jesus, keep it down, would ya," you say groggily, rubbing your eye as you walk out of your room, utterly confused at the commotion unravelling in the lobby. "The fuck is going on?"

"You people are insane! I'd rather be with Deathstroke than with you assholes..." Jason says, the last statement he claims more quietly. A harsh truth, revealing how little his supposed teammates thinks of him.

"Jason drew crosses all over my mirror after telling me to go get looked at by a fucking priest!" Rachel yells in anger.

You looked over at Jason in confusion.

"Yeah, I told her to get looked at, so what?" Jason yells back. "You almost fucking killed me! And I didn't draw those crosses, I haven't got a fucking clue what you're on about, how many time do I have to say it!"

You stare at the two, still delirious from your interrupted nap. Jason would say some fucked up stuff but drawing crosses? He wouldn't go that far. Barking and yapping is the most he'd do.

"And he put a beer bottle in my room," Hank says.

"And a picture of Elis," Dawn adds.

"And an orange soda bottle," Donna finishes.

The adults list the things Jason presumably planted in their rooms. But for what motif? Just to piss them off? Wait. Jason literally fell from a building like, what? Yesterday? Why the fuck would he pull this shit then..

"Wait, wait, wait. Pause, I can not stress this enough," you say. "I understand Rachel's situation, what the fuck about you guys?" You ask the other adults.

"Jason just put some shit that was deeply connected to our past in our room. If he pulls something like this again, I'll forget what team he's on," Hank replies.

You cross your arms. "Okay, did any of yous tell Jason about this deep shit about your past?"

Rachel and Gar's head turned to the adults as they all looked at each other with doubt.

"Oh my fucking days," You scoffed, aggressively rubbing your temples.

Before you can scold at them, you notice Jason is already gone.

Jeez, maybe I am a shit teammate.

You ram into his room first and instantly run out when you see he's not there. You check the surveillance room, the training room. Not there, either. Finally, you speed up to the roof. And there he was, standing at the edge.

Your heartbeat's pace picked up.

"Jason," you called out. He looked over his shoulder, then looked right ahead of him.

"C'mon, Jason, get down from there. We can work this out," you slowly say, taking small steps towards him.

You see him shake his head. "There's nothing to work out," he says. "I'm just gonna fuck things up again. There's a poison in me. That shit spreads. Hurts even the most healthy people."

You stip at a safe distance where Jason wouldn't make any irrational movements if you'd come any closer, and you lean against the ledge near him.

"Mm, well, what about people who's already unhealthy?"

Jason turns his head to look at you in confusion.

"Jason, all of us here has been through some tough shit. From my experience, this 'poison' you're talking about, it's nothing compared to what I had to face. I'm sorry that they accused you, Jason. I don't even know why they did- they don't even have a good reason to," you explain, making sure he knew that you were not against him, that he wasn't alone.

"I don't know if this makes any difference," you continue, "but I believe that you didn't do any of that."

"You don't?" Jason asks in disbelief, yet still a hint of hope in his voice.

"Of course I don't. You're my teamma... You're my friend, Jason," you reply back, thinking it's safe to step closer to him as you reach a hand out towards him. "Please come down," you pleaded.

Jason stares at your offering hand for a while, then glances the view in front of him before returning his gaze to your hand.

He sighs, taking your hand in his and steoping diwn from the ledge, leaving a gasp of relief from you before you pull him into a tight embrace.

A few seconds later, you push him away, realising you may have crossed some boundaries.

"Sorry.. I- I'm just glad you came down," you admitted as Jason just shrugged in reply.

You sighed as you sat down, your back leaning against the ledge, patting the ground beside you, inviting Jason to sit beside you.

"Jason, you are kind of an asshole. I mean, you did tell Rachel to go get looked at by a priest- I know she almost tried to kill you, but she still needs to get a hold of her powers. I'm not saying it's not a reason to be scared of her! If I was in your place, I'd be freaked out by her, too. Just give her some time. Plus, you did call both her and Rose freaks..." Jason slightly nods at his mistake. "But... you're one of the most extraordinary people I've ever met," you admit as it seemed like Jason's head could've snapped off his neck from how fast he turned.

"Don't let it get to your ego," you say before continuing, "I mean, you can spar blindfolded! You survived being kidnapped by Dr. Light and Deathstroke. Oh... and Jason," you call out to him before you shift yourself to face him properly. "I know you're always saying you're okay after your... fall. But it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help. You don't need to prove yourself to anybody. Not to me, at least," you finish, placing a hand kn his shoulder for assurance.

All Jason does is look at you, probably searching for any sort of trap or lies or whatnot. You believe you've said too much that things got awkward and he probably wants to be alone.

"Yeah.. I've been talking for too long," you agree to his probable thoughts as you try to get up.

But Jason stops you, grabbing a hold of your arm.

"No," he says, "I... Thank you," he confesses as you take your place back on the ground. "Yeah, I guess I am an asshole," he continues, looking at the concrete underneath him. "I don't know... It's just shit I say. Sometimes, I say it without thinking. I say a lot of shit without thinking," he admits his wrongdoings.

"And that's okay," you reply, placing your hand on top of his. "We make mistakes. But we talk it out, and we forgive."

"I didn't put all that shit there or draw the crosses, I swear-"

"Jason, you don't need to try convince me. I told you, I believe you," you reassure him.

"Didn't really believe that you believed me," he shrugged. "The others still probably think I'm insane."

"If they do, I'll just punch some sense into them," you tell him. "Besides, they can't think you're any crazier than me."

Jason's eyebrows scrunched together. "What do you mean?"

"Oh shit," you laughed. "You never knew about how I became a Titan, and how I even met the others,."

Jason shakes his head.

"Well, I was running away from my mom. Criminal, but not one of those well-known ones. Robbed a few jewels here and there, had some of her workers try and catch me. Then, when I lost them, the only place I could think of staying was an alleyway. Luckily, it was on the safe side of town. That's when Dick found me. Brought me back to the tower-"

"He really has a thing for bringing unconscious people back to the tower, huh?" Jason interrupts, and you couldn't help but laugh.

"That sounds horrible without context," you say, then continue, "but yeah. When I woke up, I was absolutely shitting myself. I was my bag, but when I got to the elevator, the passcode wouldn't unlock. That's when everyone came. Hank, Dawn, Donna, Dick, Gar, and Rachel. I was so freaked out. So I threw my homemade bombs at them-"

"I'm sorry, bombs??"

"Calm down. They were just glitter bombs," you say as Jason makes a face in both confusion and amusement.

"Bht my mom taught me a few tricks. Pinned Gar to the wall with a couple of knives. Dawn was stuck to the floor with some knives, too. I think Hank was blinded by some glitter. But yeah, eventually, they got me to calm down," you finish, laughing at the memory.

"Jesus... I still can't get over the glitter bombs. I thought you just made flash and concussion bombs," Jason says.

You shook your head. "Nah, I only learned how to make those later. The glitter bombs were just a hobby. So, I guess you yourself aren't as insane as you think you are. I mean, even when I used to go to school, kids would think that I'm crazy, but I probably am, like, glitter bombs as a hobby? I-"

"You're not crazy, Y/n! If anyone thinks so, they're the crazy ones-"

You laugh. "Thanks, Jason. I like being friends with you too."

Jason's reaction is hesitant, but he smiles and laughs with you.

"C'mon, let's go back down. You need a rest. A long rest. We can even listen to that loud metal music you listen to," you say as you get up, dusting yourself off.

suggestions for part 2?

Jason copies you, getting up and wiping any dirt off from his pants, and a genuine smile on his face as he follows you down back to his room.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for changing my (30 FtM) name?

I was born with a very angrogynous/masculine name. For the sake of this post we'll say it's Alex Andrew Lastname. I was bullied for it growing up and can often see on people's faces that they were expecting someone different when they see my name first. I never liked my name growing up because I didn't think I fit the vibe. I'm just not an "Alex". But honestly, if I ever fully pass, that could change.

I recognize I've hit the trans guy jackpot. I've seen quite a few trans men change their names to my birth name, first and middle. Logically, I'd never have to change it for safety or validation reasons.

I've been using a different name for years now. My partner of 10 years doesn't know me by another name and cringes when we have to use Alex for legal paperwork. This name has been public knowledge to everyone including my family for about 8 years. We'll say this new name is "Elijah" (it is not)

The problem arises when I bring up my final legal name choice to my mom.

"Why that? I would have never named you that. I don't think it suits you." I double down and explain I like the name and don't mind the religious connotation (we went to church but she's always appropriated eastern religions, I am not religious) Additionally, SHE should have been using it all this time, even when I'm not there. She complains. "Can't I still call you Alex? I mean, I gave birth to you, I should still be able to call you Alex. I gave you that name because it was androgynous and cool, why do you want to change it?" I tell her again, no. If she's the only person deadnaming me, other people will feel they have the right to. "Can I call you Al?" No, sorry. "Can I call you Andrew? I named you after your uncle, he didn't do anything wrong."

Because she's pushing back so much, I tell her the truth. Growing up, she was abusive and negligent. When she did use my name, she said it like she hated me. When I was in trouble, when she was disagreeing with me, when she bullied me. She didn't really say my name in rare situations where she was proud because she was jealous and focused on making sure everyone knew I was cool and "unique" because I was "her kid". Because of it, I cringe when I hear my birth name. It's a strong name, a good name, even, but it makes me feel small and tired. I told her I was proud of her going to therapy, that we could start over, but that I'm asking to be respected as a person.

Shortly after I was born, she asked my grandma to draw up a tattoo of my deadname. It's a large, dark piece on her entire lower back. I told her I don't expect her to cover it, that she can keep it and mourn the name however she feels, but I'd like to get a matching, small tattoo with her to celebrate my new name if she's interested. She didn't really respond. She finally said she still doesn't like the name Elijah, but asked if she could call me Eli (yeah, obviously)

Despite all of this reaching some sort of compromise, I've heard I've made a bad decision from both sides. Some think I was too gentle and understanding and should have essentially said "fuck you this is my name take it or leave it". Others think I should have kept my deadname because there was nothing wrong with it, I'm being too emotional about it, or that I'm choosing to inconvenience others by changing things age 30. There's also the idea that no one really likes their name so it's not a great reason to change it.

AITA for having no real reason to change my name and doing so anyway?

What are these acronyms?

[animeyanderelover]

Could I request how it would be with indra,madara,Sakura,tsunade,Tobirama,itachi,naruto,Sasuke,shisui in a hunger games au?Thank you ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

I might have twisted a few points of the Hunger Games here and there to fit my storyline better. In general I'd like to say that I've never seen or read this franchise so all those informations are based on what I've been told from my followers or what I've read online. By the way, I accidentally added Hashirama in here since I'm so used to having him and completely overlooked that you didn't even requested him here.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, stalking, paranoia, clinginess, manipulation, blackmailing, poison, violence, torture, death, mentions of suicide, trauma

Hunger Games AU

Indra Otsutsuki

💜 As one of the highest officials even within the Capitol, Indra has always stood out. Not only because he's gorgeous but also because he hates the luxurious and shallow life most citizens in the Capitol lead. He has dedicated his life to overseeing the Peacekeepers, training them and brutally striking down anyone who dares to oppose the system. It makes him as feared as respected as the highly ranked officials in the Capitol do their best to keep Indra content so he will never turn against them as that would surely be fatal. Due to their fear and equal desire to keep a gem like him on their side, he has risen up to be one of the must influential and powerful humans in all of Panem with an army of Peacekeepers behind him. A lot of them from District 2 where Indra is worshipped as a god of some sorts. The Hunger Games have to be watched even if he thinks he could spend his time doing more important things, it's disgraceful to see people dying pathetic deaths due to their own incompetence.

💜 If someone would have ever told him that he would ever find himself falling for someone he only sees on TV, he would have flung them across the room. Yet this is exactly what happens during this year's game as you, an 18 year-old tribute from District 12, enter the games. Most other participants, especially the Career, are flashy and want attention to get supported and sponsored by other citizens. You stand precisely out because you don't draw any attention to you. You're calm, think ahead and it isn't your goal to try to be cool as you just try to do what you're supposed to whilst simultanously surviving. When nearly half of the tribute are already killed at the beginning whilst fighting for weapons and other important stuff in the Cornucopia, you instead decide to explore the region only to set a few traps later to steal everything other tributes collected. A bow and an arrow seem to be your favorite as you shoot opponents from a safe distance, silently waiting in a hidden spot.

💜 He can tell that you're experienced with hunting as you're excellent in hiding your own tracks whilst being a genius at following others. You even use the poison from muttations thrown in by the gamemakers to finish of your enemies even more efficiently. Someone who was forgettable at the beginning of the games has turned by the end of it into everyone's favorite as citizens are gushing over your smoothness and predator-like behavior. You have a lot of sponsors yet the first one who provided you with medicine and weapons was Indra. He's investing into you as he deems you to be someone who deserves to live. You're different from those incompetent and arrogant fools who are either too terrified or too cocky, you always approach everyone with the same amount of caution and fight seriously. Perhaps it is no one's surprise that you end up winning, the first champion of your district and the people love you. One specific person probably more than others.

💜 His desire for you shocks him as he's never met you in person, he's only seen you in the arena. Truth is though that you're everything he's ever searched for. Courageous, smart, strong and merciless when it comes to snuffing out a life. You're unaware of him until the day where he pays to see you, something that is allowed as he's from the Capitol and you're a mere attraction for those people. You walk in, completely expecting him to initiate sexual intercourse yet he's more interested in talking to you, seeing your skill with his own two eyes, scientifically modified with his own request to grant him even more power. The end result are permanently red eyes with black dots within his orbs which make him all the more intimidating. You're secretly just relieved that he doesn't want to violate you so you indulge him in his interest to see your abilities up close. If only you'd known what consequences that would have later on for you. It's never like you had a choice anyways...

💜 His obsession gets gradually worse as he gets to know you better. Your skills match your fast thinking and you're a quick learner as he suddenly starts training you in hand-to-hand combat and the use of other weapons. Slowly you start spending a lot of time with him until you find yourself staying days in his house as he provides a room for you. He grows possessive, sees it as such a terrible waste that you still have to stay in your District, even if it's in the Victor's Village. Thoughts fill his mind, wondering if he could convince the president to let you live permanently with him as Indra is almost as powerful as he is. Those dark thoughts turn into schemes yet it is when one of the Peacekeepers in the Victor's Village informs him that you recently took someone in who isn't your family but someone you fancy that a burning rage takes over him. The next time you're forced to come over, you instantly sense that something is wrong. It is only confirmed when you're grabbed by the man, red eyes gleaming as he smashes his lips against yours in a searing kiss, growling in between that you can't refuse him. You're his, he will see it through that you can never leave him.

Madara Uchiha

🌑 Madara is a Career from District 2 that will participate in this year's Hunger Games and to say that he's confident is an understatement. He's been training essentially his whole life for such a chance and in his last year before he would have been excluded from it, he's finally chosen. There are rumors if the Capitol might have manipulated the decision on purpose since Madara is quite well known even among the citizens of the Capitol for his skills and beauty. Truthfully spoken though, Madara doesn't care. He's just thrilled that he gets his chance to participate, to fight. His District has produced a lot of victors for the Hunger Games so this is about honor, especially since his own father is a previous victor from a game years ago. He can not let his family down like this. Madara is instantly the favorite among the crowd as soon as he enters, the cheers for him are deafening and a lot of tributes seem to give up instantly, recognizing him.

🌑 When he notices most of them cowering upon noticing him, avoiding his eyes and making themselves as small as possible, he can only scoff and give them a condescending look. He despises people like them, weak cowards. They're all going to die anyways. There's only one person who meets his gaze and refuses to look away, a sign of rebellion. A tribute from District 7, the same age as him. Both of you get caught in a silent stare battle as looking away or even blinking is a loss, something that both of you don't want. It's this first encounter between the both of you that not only sticks in Madara's memory as you're the first one to have challenged him so openly, but also makes you more memorable for the citizens. So you're the tribute he decides to keep an eye on for now but it's the fight around the Cornucopia that really earns you a spot in his memory and heart alike. Your strength from providing wood and lumber for the Capitol surprises and overwhelms almost all other tributes, even Madara.

🌑 Madara and you alike slaughter quite a few tributes until only both of you are left in the Cornucopia, staring at each other again. The adrenaline is still high yet both of you come to an agreement. You'll wait for this fight until you're the only two left. There's no doubt in Madara's mind that you'll survive to fulfill your promise and you think likewise. All viewers crave the same as both you and Madara receive lots of support, in your case an axe which becomes the weapon you slaughter all your enemies with. Even Careers fall ultimately when fighting you, the hardest fight up until Madara for you is the female Career from District 2 who is plenty skilled although you don't expect anything else if she comes from the same place as Madara. After a longer fight though, she succumbs to her injuries, her severed arm the main source as she has lost too much blood. When Madara and you meet again, both of you hold each other's gaze again...before one of the most spectacular fights unfolds itself.

🌑 You two go at it for hours as both of you possess a great amount of stamina, endurance and strength. There's no denial that both of you enjoy this fight to it's fullest though, you can even see Madara grinning, thrilled to have someone who can finally stand up to him. It seems inhumane, watching the fight between essentially two monsters. Both of you are so immersed in your own world where only you two and this fight exists that it's only when a loud announcement echoes through the arena, announcing both of you for some reason as victors of this year's games that both of you come back to reality. It turns out that the audience in the Capitol is absolutely enraptured with the both of you and has unanimously demanded for both of you to be named winners and the president saw himself forced to keep the citizens satisfied. Madara is in a way thankful though because if you two are alive, it means that you two can fight again. In a way you've completely won his heart with this fight.

🌑 It's never the same for him again after he's met you. You're special and talented, no one in his district can compare to you and that causes him to grow irritated. Luckily the Capitol is unable to forget about you two just as much and the demand for both of you to keep entertaining the citizens is high so both of you see each other often despite living in different districts. No words could describe just how excited Madara is about being able to see you as often as he does, focused on only you. If he has to take a spouse, he wants it to be you. He knows that it's technically not possible yet he senses soon enough that he isn't the only one who would want you two to be together. A good bunch of people in the Capitol love the romantic tension between you two and his growing possessive behavior so it dawns on him that he could use the foolish wishes of those people to his own advantage. Some people in the Capitol really start voicing their opinion that you two should marry since you are perfect for each other and you plan to announce that you don't have any interest, you're stopped by Madara. Hush, darling. Don't even try to stop something you have no control over.

Hashirama Senju

🌳 Hashirama and you alike are both from District 4, although his family lives in the Villager's District looking on how his father has won in his younger years the Hunger Games. That doesn't spare his children from being chosen as tributes though and it just so happens that Hashirama and you have been childhood friends since forever. His family is very close with yours so you're often allowed to come over and visit and train together as Careers. You know that Hashirama would do anything to spare you that fate though because even if his district sees it as an honor to add victors to their districts and stay wealthy and powerful among the other districts, Hashirama sees this entire game as rather cruel. He's always been empathetic as he watched so many young people dying for the amusement of others yet whenever he has voiced his opinions in the past, he has been scolded and punished by his parents. If the Capitol would find out after all, they might be killed.

🌳 Yet it is the cruelest irony when both of you get chosen as tributes to present your district for this year. Horror washes over his body as he clutches your hand tightly into his, sweaty and shaking ever so slightly. When he's shortly about to leave for the arena, his father advices him to not get all emotional and spare your life as there can only be one winner and those words haunt him and are the start of his breaking point. Obviously Hashirama doesn't listen to him as he sticks close to you the entire time, nervous and terrified for you instead of fearing for his own life. Both of you know that he's been in love with you for a long time now although you have asked him to give you time to think about it. His father knows about it too, the whole family does, that's why they're worried that Hashi will prioritize you over everything since he's an emotional fool. When all of you are presented to the viewers, he refuses to stray away from your side. Both of you catch the eyes of some people thanks to that.

🌳 They refer to you two as unfortunate sweethearts as Hashirama's love for you seems to earn you the favor and support of quite a few fans who are eager to see the development between you two. When both of you fight in the Cornucopia and Hashirama shields you and gets hurt in the process and you carry him around in desperate search of a hiding spot, you receive medicine and bandages from fans of you two who are positively gushing over the dedication between you two. This sickens you yet you have no choice but to accept the presents to help Hashirama who is busily soothing your guilt for him getting hurt because of you. You stay awake the entire night to let him rest, keep guard so that nothing and no one can attack him whilst he is so vulnerable. Both of you never separate once from each other during the entire game and the one time you suggested splitting up, Hashirama had a small meltdown, stopping you physically from leaving him.

🌳 Being part of the game and seeing himself forced to kill other participants breaks him and his psyche. Nightmares that always turn him into a whimpering mess who clings to your form and an emotional breakdown as soon as he thinks that he has lost you. He clings to you like his sanity depends on it and at this rate that is most likely the case. Whether it's luck or not, both of you find yourselves as the sole survivors by the end of it and Hashirama has killed a good bunch of them, something that still horrifies you even if you understand the rules of this game and that he only did it to protect you. There can only be one survivor though and you can only stare anxiously at Hashirama. He truly looks broken, dark rings under his eyes, bruises and cuts covering his face. His own tired gaze meets you and he musters a reassuring smile before embracing you. Terrified confusion turns into utter horror when he mumbles that he won't let you die, no matter what. Even if he has to commit suicide.

🌳 This revelation triggers shock and admiration alike within everyone in the Capitol, all of them loving the tragic love story. People crave a happy ending though so a lot of requests fly in to allow both of you to survive since you're from the same district. You're crying out in relief when the announcement is made or otherwise you would have knocked Hashirama out to stop him from doing anything stupid. Both of you return as victors to your district yet it wasn't worth the price you paid. Hashirama is traumatized with everything he has seen, glued to your hip and emotionally unable to accept you leaving him. You two move into a separate mansion in the Victor's Village, you would have most likely done that even without them telling you that you have to live together, apparently another sick fantasy of the Capitol. You despise all of them though because they've taken your best friend away from you and have ruined him into this anxious, clingy and delusional broken man in front of you who showers you excessively with his love and affection. Apparently that's what the people want though, you realize that with horror when you hear the rumors about an arranged engagement.

Tobirama Senju

🌊 Tobirama is within his lifetime the pride of his District 4 as he was barely 12 years old when he participated and won against everyone else, even if some of them were years older and had way more training as him. Tobirama is just naturally gifted and just happens to be your best friend as well. Something inside of him changed after he came back as the victor though. He never was all that much sunshine to begin with but he became harsher and way more merciless after he won the games. You can only imagine what he saw during his time as a player but when you try to ask him, he always puts you rudely down. He lives with his family in the Victor's Village where you are often visiting thanks to his influence. Instead of playing around and enjoying time together, now he starts training with you intensely though, reminding you harshly that you might get chosen one day too. It's jarring to see his transformation after the games.

🌊 You're 18 when you're chosen and shocked when you hear your name and even Tobirama is shaken but he flawlessly hides it behind the usual scowl sitting on his face. Needless to say that he becomes your official mentor since you're now the official tribute for this year. Expectations on you are high as all believe that with Tobirama as your mentor, you can not fail. Tobirama himself goes harsh on you now that you're going to participate in the Hunger Games. He's relentless and unforgiving, you pass out a couple of times since he does not allow you even a minute to take a break. Whenever you start begging him to stop, all you receive is a harsh lecture that you'll die as one of the first in the game if this is how you're going about it. Partially that is true, he knows that better than anyone else. However, Tobirama is also deep down very paranoid about the aspect of potentially losing you. All his rudeness aside, you're still very much his best friend and his first and only love. The later you don't know yet though.

🌊 The arena this year is close to the sea with a lot of beaches, rocks and cliffs and it's almost as if the Capitol is favoring those from District 4 with such an environment as they specialize in fishing and for that know how to navigate around such places. He watches this year's game with a lot more dread than he ever has. Whilst he is confident in your abilities, he knows that his district isn't the only one who produces Careers. Luckily for you and your fellow Career from District 4, the Cornucopia is placed on a small island within the sea which means that you either have to swim or build a boat. Unfortunately a lot of tributes lose early on their lives, underestimating what muttations swim around in the deep parts of the sea. You belong to the smarter ones who build a boat instead of risking to get eaten, go even as far as catch bait to keep those creatures under control in case they decide to assault your boat too. Sailing a boat is no problem for you.

🌊 The last part of the game is a never-ending train of death, fights and survival of the fittest as only the Careers are left and have to battle it out. You on the other hand go into hiding, stay close to the sea where using weapons will be for the most part very difficult, plus the fact that even Careers are careful to dive to deep into the water, considering the terror creatures the Gamekeepers have designed for this. You avoid the bloodbath for the biggest part, until only you, the other Career from your district and one from the first one are left. This fight is gruesome as you gut your fellow Career out with a harpoon you snatched away in the Cornucopia and push the other one down the cliff, watching the shark-like muttations tearing them apart. When you're announced the winner, Tobirama can only slide down the chair, all tension leaving his body and leaving him exhausted. You've won. You survived and most importantly...you'll return to him.

🌊 He gives you genuine praise when you return, relieved that you were skilled and strong enough to survive everything. You get your own house in the Victor's Village, beyond grateful that you made it out of this living hell of a game. Unfortunately you don't get much of a break as soon afterwards, his family and your own family start talking about potentially engaging you two. Both of you won a game after all and are now praised as the best of the best among their district. His father is finally willing to see you as worthy for his son and your own father can allow himself now to demand high things from your future husband too. This disturbs you as you don't plan to marry Tobirama and you seek him out as soon as the topic is brought up in your family, naively thinking that he will respect your wishes. Instead you're met with overwhelming silence as soon as you've finished your earnest plead to him, red eyes scrutinizing you. Are you really that repulsed with the thought of marrying him? After he's trained you, mentored you, helped you survive the game? It's on that day that you realize for the first time just how much the Hunger Games can change a person, especially your best friend.

Tsunade Senju

🐌 Tsunade is one of the most well-known victors in all of District 4 as her grandfather as well as her great uncle were both legendary victors in the annual Hunger Games and she herself participated when she was 18 years old. Unfortunately for Tsunade though, she lost everything because of those games. Her brother, who had just freshly turned 12, was elected as one of the tributes. Young, optimistic and naive he saw it as an amazing chance to show to everyone, including his sister, that the Senju were a family of winners. He lost his life in an explosion though, the necklace the only thing left of him. During her own time as a tribute, Tsunade was forced to see her own lover die, who was in the same year chosen as a tribute. The mere thought that only one person would survive was mortifying as it was but when Danzo sacrificied himself for her, earning her as a result the favor of the crowd, she was shattered forever. All her hope and optimism gone and instead she spends her time with sake.

🐌 When you enter the Victor's Village as the freshest addition of that place, you already know about Tsunade, everyone knows. For a woman of her height she easily matches and often surpasses the strength of any men and is additionally very skilled with medicine and surgeries. Yet all other victors who live here warn you about her as she's turned into a bitter and lonely woman who refuses everyone's company. It's a shame for someone with a pretty face like hers, she's still such a young and attractive woman after all, only a few years older than you are. In a way you can not bring yourself to blame Tsunade though, not after you've gone through those games too and had to kill the other person from your district who you had actually gotten along with quite well. You just leave her be, even if her own house is right next to yours. You never engage in any rumors about her, even go as far as defending her when other victors talk down on her. She's after all still one of the greatest.

🐌 Your first encounter is certainly one you will remember as the good lady had a few drinks too much and stumbles into your house instead of her own, breaking your door in the process with her brute strength. You initially think of thieves when you see the broken door hanging out of it's door frame only to see the good Tsunade Senju herself sleeping in your bed. You're baffled for a good amount of time, confused to say at least about what you should do now before you decide to let her be and instead sleep downstairs on the couch. The next morning is awkward for the both of you as you have to explain to her that this is in fact your house, especially since she was about to deliver a good punch for thinking that this was still your house. She leaves with her head held high, apologizing for putting you through such a situation before she leaves with the slightest hint of pink dusting her cheeks. After that encounter, your relationship with her is never the same again.

🐌 Somehow she seems less hostile around you, most likely because she will never be able to forget about that accident. That has eased her up around you and so you two occasionally engage in small chats when you meet each other outside. That slowly evolves into meeting each other inside either your or her house and you feel honored that you're pretty much the only one who she has ever allowed inside her mansion. She has her own laboratory that was specifically built for her as the Capitol still demands her to invent new medicine since she is the best there is, even surpassing the scientists in the Capitol. She admits to you that she doesn't want to help the very same people who took everything away from her but she knows that they will threaten innocent people and only bother her more otherwise so she still does as she is told. You openly tell her how much you admire her for what she does and also express your compassion regarding her brother and lover.

🐌 You're a person Tsunade feels comfortable around, less lonely and miserable. She can talk with you about her pain without others talking their death little by calling them simply not strong enough. You're still human, you admit that the whole concept of the Hunger Games is sick and wrong. You give her solace and she starts yearning for that feeling, seeks you out more and more actively. Initially you don't object, you know how lonely and misunderstood Tsunade is. Eventually you recognize that her clinginess has become rather unhealthy though as she barely wants to separate from you and you spend most of your time in her house. She doesn't want you to spend any more time with those people outside who have traded their morals and human lives for fame and glory, wealth and riches. You're still a good person but most importantly, you're a person she has learned to love and cherish. She won't lose you again and if she has to poison your food and weaken you a bit, she will do so. Don't worry though, she would never risk your life. No, instead she will only sicken you a bit to be the one to nurse you back to health.

Shisui Uchiha

🍂The Uchiha family within District 2 is by far one of the most well-known families throughout the entire country of Panem since a lot of people from there have not only been chosen as tributes but also won those Hunger Games. Shisui is no exception to that as he was barely 13 years old when he entered the game and left the arena as a victor. His skills were so outstanding that he was in fact approached by some high officials from the Capitol and asked if he'd like to join the Peacekeepers of Panem, looking on how they trained already in his district. Shisui politely declined though although he in fact is allowed to watch them training and even acts as a teacher at times since his abilities surpass theirs far. Some people in the Capitol are at times terrified that Shisui might betray them though because if he would join any sort of rebellion, he could make it work. That's why they go to great lengths to keep him content with his life, although they are never able to figure out how he is really feeling.

🍂You're a close friend of Shisui even if you don't belong to his family. You're still from District 4 though but have never been made a player in the Hunger Games and are out of their age range by now. When you turned 19 years old, everyone celebrated your birthday as if it was the greatest day in your life and honestly, it was. Because it meant freedom and no fear for you anymore. You have obviously been trained as a Career just like everyone else but you would have never been able to survive out there, at least in your opinion. Even Shisui seemed off for a few weeks after returning, you still remember this hollow look in his eyes and the goosebumps across his skin when he hugged you despite the sun shining brightly, pressing you tightly against his own body. He never talks with you about it and a huge part you've seen on TV when it all aired but the camera wasn't focused every time on him. You just assume that Shisui wants to spare you from the unspoken horrors he went through.

🍂With him moving into the Victor's Village, a tradition for everyone who wins a Hunger Game, you find yourself spending less time with him. It's lonely without him since he's always been your best buddy, even if he still tries to make time for you as good as he can. Instead you are now more often alone, a little bit sceptical to make new acquaintances. That is until you meet a lovely group of people, one of them is in fact a neighbour of yours. All of them are around your age which means you don't have to fear that even one of them might lose their lives in such a cruel and useless game. You start to spend gradually more time with them but Shisui seems a little bit relieved that you have found new friends, considering how much you've blamed him for leaving you all to yourself at first. He admits briefly that he's a little bit busy at the moment, although he never explicitily states what he is doing. All you know is that he's doing something for the Capitol.

🍂After a few weeks of spending time with your new friends and just living your life without the looming threat of death, they start asking you about what you think of the Hunger Games. You're cautious ith your answer since you know that quite a few people in the second district see those games as a chance to prove to the Capitol that their district is the superior one. You still make it clear that you think it's cruel and unfair to throw essentially children into an arena and have them killing each other for the sick amusement for the richest of the rich. To your relief they agree with you and voice their clear dislike of the whole concept. What you gradually notice though is that conversations always shift to the games and soon you start talking about how one might stop those games and how to overthrow the Capitol. You initially entertain them with your own schemes and ideas, start feeling very uncomfortable soon though. When they notice though, they instantly revert back to doing something else.

🍂You're surprised when Shisui one day requests you to visit him and even more shocked when the first thing he does as soon as letting you in is forbidding you to spend anymore time with those people. He doesn't answer any of your questions but only insists that you have to stay away from them. His more bossy tone does not sit right with you. Who does he think he is, telling you not to spend time with your friends when he's barely there anymore? It's this rebellious streak that you give him that shifts something within him and just as you're about to leave his house, he is in front of you in the blink of an eye, slamming the door closed and staring at you with black eyes who appear to see right through you. You shrink, trying to escape from his gaze that is staring relentlessly at you. You break out in cold sweat when he asks you if you really want to know but find yourself still nodding. When he tells you that those people plan a rebellion against the Capitol and planned to recruit you and that he has been tasked to kill them, your blood runs cold. When you asks him quietly if he can really kill people again, he gives you a firm nod. Those are orders and on top of that, they promised him the one thing he's always wanted. You.

Itachi Uchiha

🍡 Another resident in District 4 who has been trained from a very young age on as a Career. Itachi is gifted, there is no denying his skills as he has risen up to the status of a genius from a very young age on. It's precisely due to his outstanding abilities that his father is secretly always hoping that Itachi's name will be chosen in the annual lottery to determine the next participants in the game. Year after year passes by though and his name never once appears. Perhaps a stress relief for the other Career within District 4 as they have zero confidence to win if Itachi would get chosen together with them. How does Itachi feel about this though? Well, he isn't much of a talker and stays silent most of the time when someone approaches him and wants to converse with him about the Hunger Games. He hides his unhappiness though as he would rather spend time with his little brother or with his darling instead of training hours and hours on end for the slim chance he might get chosen.

🍡 When he passes the age of 18 and is officially out of the register, his father is greatly disappointed whilst Itachi is just relieved that he can hopefully spend more time with Sasuke and you from now on. Unfortunately fate is not as kind as your name gets chosen that year, your last year of potentially being chosen. Terror freezes you in your place as your name gets chosen and the same silent horror seeps into Itachi's veins as he hears the news. You come running to him the same day, although he was planning to search for you just as much. You're crying your eyes out whilst in his embrace, terrified and scare out of your mind. You don't want to participate in the games! You don't! Seeing your tears and the hope already having left your body breaks his heart, fills his chest with a searing pain. When Itachi finds himself laying that night wide awake in his bed, an idea suddenly pops up inside his head and the next morning he approaches his father and asks if it's possible that he can take your place.

🍡 Technically it shouldn't be allowed since he's out of the age range but when his father notifies the people organizing the Hunger Games, they're very happy to make an exception for Itachi. He's skilled, he's handsome and they're sure that the citizens of the Capitol will be very happy to have him as a tribute. News quickly spread within your district about the change of plans and knock the air out of your lungs when you hear what a sacrifice Itachi made for you. Yet you can't accept it, approach him angrily with tears in your eyes as you lash out at him for doing something so stupid. He shouldn't have done this for you. You aren't worth it. You try to convince him to pull back, that he doesn't have to do this for you yet he just gently nudges you away, speaks with a soft voice that it's alright. It's too late now anyways, they won't let him slip away now that they have him finally in the games. You can only watch with an aching heart as he leaves for the Hunger Games.

🍡 You watch everything with your heart in your throat, horrified yet unable to avert your eyes from the game you watch safely from the comfort of your house as Itachi participates in your place. At times you feel almost glad that it isn't you when you see the gruesome deaths of the participants yet guilt fills you almost instantly after as you realize that it's because Itachi risks his life instead of you yours. When Itachi stands as the last one and wins, no one in your district is surprised and instead they celebrate him. Only you sit there, devastated that you forced Itachi, who never wanted to kill tributes, into this living hell. When he returns and is brought to the Victor's Village, you try to avoid him. You see the broken glimmer inside his eyes, the burden he took because you were too much of a coward and it is too painful for you to witness. You don't deserve someone like him. You spend the following weeks away from him, ignore all letters and attempts he does to reach out to you.

🍡 After a few months have passed by and Itachi's attempts to reach out to you have stopped, you've slowly attempted to get back on track with your life. Itachi's absence has left a hole though, one you try to ignore since you made that decision. Your life isn't good but you try your best to do the best to make it acceptable again. Until one day a few Peacekeepers suddenly storm your house, arrest you and the rest of your family for no reason and you're separated from them. You don't know where they plan to take you, at least until you see the Victor's Village in the distance where you're thrown into one of the houses, the doors shut behind you. When you look up from your position on the floor, you're met with Itachi's black eyes. He's standing a few feet away from you, his face unreadable yet there's cold fury in his eyes. What do you expect? You betrayed him in a sense, left him alone when he would have needed you the most. Do you even know what he went through during this game? Your apologies barely do anything nor does your pleads to help you with your family. At least not for free this time. You can only stare at him with horror when you hear those words. What have you done?

Naruto Uzumaki

🍜 Naruto Uzumaki is from the twelfth district, the poorest district in all of Panem. He's an orphan whose parents have unfortunately died when he was really young due to the poor conditions such as minimal food. A lot of people in their village suffer under the dictatorship of the Capitol and they barely produce any winners for the Hunger Games as they lack the resources and the training to train the young children such as the wealthy districts do. So when one of their tributes miraculously wins the Hunger Games, only the tender age of 14 years, hope returns once more to the people that for at least the next year, the Capitol will provide them with enough food and supply them what they need. When the winner returns to the village, they're hailed and celebrated like they're the incarnation of a godly being themselves, so dire was the daily life before they won. It's been years since someone from their district has won after all. They move into the Victor's Village with their family soon after.

🍜 4 years later, Naruto gets chosen as a tribute for the Hunger Games, clinging to his hope that he has a chance to win if he works hard enough to win and help all the people in his village who suffer from the lack of food and water. There's also a bit of giddy excitement though to meet you, the very same champion who won 4 years ago and is even the same age as he is. You haven't been here that often ever since you were able to move into the Victor's Village but the stories about you have never really stopped. Such an impact left your victory on the people, the first one in over two decades. Naruto actually recalls that he knew you before you were chosen as a tribute but when he sees you again, he feels like he's meeting a completely new person. No wonder, you're famous now after all. He feels flattered when you actually recognize the blonde-haired boy too, point out that he surely has grown up. You do warn him that you won't go easy on him or otherwise he won't make it.

🍜 Training with you is surely tough as you force him through hours and hours but you admire that he never gives up and insists on doing something over and over again until he's got the hang of it. He's optimistic, painfully much so, and you wonder at times if that is a farce to keep himself motivated or if he truly thinks he has a shot. When you ask him, he manages to flatter you when he answers that you've given him and everyone else a lot of hope with your victory. The time you have to train him isn't that long yet you too grow quite close to each other during that period, most likely because of Naruto wanting to get to know you better. He's quite a fanboy, blue eyes admiring everything you do and somehow that feels nice. You're anxious when he leaves since you've grown attached to him and he's grown even more attached to you. You can only pray now as your one eye that you didn't lose during the games is glued to the screen when the tributes enter this year's arena, a forest.

🍜 Naruto is anxious and nervous when he enters the arena but he tries to do his best to stay optimistic throughout it all. His friends are watching him, you are watching him and this is a chance to help everyone in his district. Unfortunately his optimism gets shattered during the games. He knew that he would witness multiple bloodbaths but nothing could have prepared him for the real deal. His blue eyes grow dull as the game goes on and his hopeful smile leaves his face the more he is confronted with the ugliest side of humanity. It breaks your heart to see him although you can fully understand that no one would be able to stay happy after this hell of a hell. It's the finale of the game that mortifies you though as the other tribute from your district gets killed right in front of Naruto's eyes and the Career makes fun of them. Silence as blue eyes are glued to the mutiliated corpse before something just snaps and Naruto enters a frenzy, an outburst that makes him the victor as he kills the other survivors.

🍜 You wait for him in the Victor's Village, a shell of what he used to be with hollow and empty eyes. You do your best to take care of him, keep him hydrated and see through that he eats as Naruto sits otherwise just around, blue eyes staring into the emptiness. It truly shatters your heart and you do your best to help him to heal as good as you can and slowly he starts responding to you. Sad eyes are always following you around and soon you have him trailing behind you like a little duckling. You're too glad that he has started reacting again to notice the alarming signs that you're feeding him into an unhealthy and delusional obsession. You've always been there for him, haven't you? You've sacrificed even more than him since he didn't lose any eyes or limbs. It makes him wonder how much pain you still carry around inside of you and it's that thought, the idea that he should help you to heal too, that fully pushes out the grin out of him again. A smile to cheer you up. Initial happiness soon turns into dread when you finally come to realize that Naruto has lost his sanity in those games, his broken mind viewing you two as soulmates since both of you have gone through the same hell.

Sasuke Uchiha

💙 Sasuke and you have been childhood sweethearts for such a long time now, Mikoto adores the two of you together just as much as your mother does. Both of you were born in the second district which means that you two live a rather good life in comparison to most other districts, looking on how District 2 is one of the wealthiest districts among the 12. It also means that the both of you are trained from a very young age to be Career and potential tributes from the Hunger Games when you're old enough. You know that the pressure is big on Sasuke as he is from the Uchiha family who is generally known to have created a lot of champions in the Hunger Games. His own brother is hailed as one of those victors who has won the games at the age of 14 and that has led Sasuke to become visibly more bitter and greedy for power as he spends hours training relentlessly. You're one of the few people he is still occasionally showing his soft spot, although he has also demanded that you spend a lot of time with him.

💙 Both of you are 17 when somehow both of you get chosen as tributes and both of you are aware what that means. A shiver goes through you and when Sasuke clutches your hand tightly in his own, clearly stressed by this sudden turn of event, you know that both of you are screwed. You more so than Sasuke since he's talented whilst you're not. You're not bad but certainly not good enough to win this game and silently you might have already resigned yourself to the fact that you'll die. That is until Sasuke grabs you and drags you harshly to a place where no one can hear you two and tells you that you'll stay close to him during the entirety of the game. You want to protest but his dark eyes leave no room for a discussion and you silently nod, decide to listen to him. You spend the little bit of time you have left training with him and you can tell that he goes very hard on you as you receive bruise after bruise with him snapping at you that you need to focus more. You sense that he's scared for you though.

💙 Starting from when you enter the arena to be presented to the citizens of the Capitol, Sasuke keeps a sharp eye on you and an additional arm around you, glaring at everyone who does as much as glancing at you. When the fight in the Cornucopia begins, you realize very much just what hell behind the hell you'll have to endure as all tributes start fighting and slaughtering each other mercilessly to gather the weapons and supplies inside the building. Sasuke gets his hands on a katana and that's when pretty much everyone else is already screwed as he flawlessly starts slaughtering him, the blade of his weapon cutting through flesh with blood splittering his clothes and his face. The only ones who survive are the ones that are fast enough on their legs and a part of you wants to run away from him too when he turns around to you, covered in blood and far too calm considering what he just did, instead asking you if you're alright. You can only swallow back the lump in your throat and nod.

💙 You're able to collect a lot of stuff in the Cornucopia since everyone else fled when they saw Sasuke and his skills with the sword, the way he almost danced whilst killing everyone else. You should be glad that he's on your side and you are but at the same time you're frightened out of your mind. You never knew that Sasuke could murder so many people at once without feeling an ounce of guilt and dread pools deep inside your stomach when you think about what might happen at the end if you two are really the only ones left. With Sasuke on your side, you survive easily as he continues tracking down one tribute after the other and kills them all whilst you stay back and hide, wait for him to come back. One time you dare to ask him how he can just kill everyone that easily. Black eyes land on you for a few silent moments before he tells you that he doesn't care about anyone else besides you. If it wouldn't have been in those circumstances, you might have felt flattered by those words.

💙 As you have feared and dreaded, ultimately it's really only Sasuke and you left and that's when your fear really starts kicking in. He has reassured you throughout the game that he will find a way for both of you to survive but you just don't know how he plans to achieve that. You know that everyone is watching you two right now and Sasuke is just as aware of that and suddenly pulls you closer to him, one arm wrapping around you to hug you. For a split second you're confused only to completely freeze when you feel the blade of the katana pressing against your back, slightly pressing against it. He won't let anything separate you two, not even death. So if both of you can't survive, he'll just kill the both of you instead. You clutch the material of his outfit in your hand, wide eyes meeting his own horrified and silently begging him to reveal that this is a twisted joke. Your heart stops for a few seconds when you realize that this is his plan though, his ultimatum. Silence that drags on for far too long before both of you are named the victors, his daring gamble paying off. You lose all strength in your legs, Sasuke tightening his grip on you to keep you steady. A smirk on his face as you're pressed against him. Perfect, everything worked out.

Sakura Haruno

🌸 The 75th Hunger Game is around and with that special anniversary comes the Quarter Quell with a twist to the rules to make the games more entertaining for those who watch them and even more gruesome and bloody for those who are forced to participate. This year's game is especially anticipated among the richest people in the Capitol and especially dreaded among the districts, especially those who can not afford to train their children. When the special rules for this year are read out, everyone is watching it with mixed feelings, the most common ones fear and dread. Winners from previous games are supposed to participate in the games and team up with one tribute that is chosen from the lottery. That means that from each district one tribute and one winner will participate and to make it only more interesting, this year two winners will be allowed. Only if both of them are the victor and the tribute from the same district though.

🌸 Everyone has obviously heard from Sakura from your district, the poorest in all of Panem. Who didn't? She's legendary, 16 years old when she won the Hunger Games 3 years ago and stood out with her unusual strength and ability to create poison which she then used to paralyze and murder her opponents with. She's chosen as the victor that will participate in this year's Hunger Games to represent the victors from their district as she's the youngest one. Chosen as the other tribute to fight alongside with her are you, in your last year where you could have been chosen as a tribute. Your whole family is horrified as this is essentially a death sentence for you and you have no choice but to put your faith in Sakura, who was actually your friend before she moved to the Victor's Village with her family, who comes soon over to pick you up and mentor you. Her face contorts in one of shock when she sees you, her heart dropping into her stomach. No, why did they have to choose you this year?

🌸 It's been years since you've seen each other but Sakura has never forgotten you. How could she? You were her best friend back in the days when she was all shy and insecure and together with her family the main thing that kept her going during her time as a tribute in the Hunger Games. She tries to push all her emotions down but that is very hard because this is not how she envisioned your first encounter after such a long time to be. She pulls it ultimately together though as she senses that her fear only makes you lose your hope more. The time before the game starts is short so she has to teach you as much as she can. She mentors you in multiple things such as hand-to-hand combat, how to hide your own tracks and read the ones of others and especially in the usage of medicine and poison, the area she's the most skilled with. It's so much for you though, too much in such a short time yet she promises you that she'll do her everything to see it through that both of you survive.

🌸 She's terribly overprotective but you won't blame her for that as soon as the game starts and you're thrown into the hell that is meant to entertain those people in the Capitol. In fact, everything you see is too much for you to handle and you resort to clinging to Sakura as your sole pillow of protection and comfort since everyone else wants you dead. This in return only makes Sakura worse even if she won't show it all of the time. She immediately knows what the strategy of everyone is. They try to slaughter the tributes of districts that are ideally no Careers to take the easy route since without their tributes, the victors will have automatically lost. That's why Sakura never allows you to stray away from her side, something she doesn't need to tell you twice. Part of you has always been a little bit curious to know how she survived her first game though since the Sakura you have known throughout the years was too kind to hurt anyone. Your opinion is definitely about to change.

🌸She's rather merciful for the most part, only killing someone if they attack you and then with the poison she has already extracted from the snakes and poisonous insects within the arena.  It's the last fight that brings something out of her that is truly fearful when the only other two survivors, Career and champion from the second district, manage to catch her off-guard and hurt you. Not seriously as you're quick enough to dodge but enough to make you scream out in pain which causes Sakura to see red. It's hard to tell what you witness but at the end of it you only know that Sakura rushes to you to quickly tend to your wounds whilst your eyes can only zoom in on the two people behind her, one of them with his head smashed in and dead whilst the other one is still slightly twitching as his life slowly leaves him. Their blood is still on her hands as she stops the bleeding and bandages the wound whilst you distantly note that you two are announced the victors. That's when you finally manage to look her into her green eyes and she manages to give you an exhausted grin, mumbling that you two made it. That's when you wonder if everything you've just seen has been some sort of fever dream as there's no trace of that bloodlust left on her face anymore.

[hopepetal]

Some ranchers. Because I said I'd write them <3

––

First out.

Again.

And by his own stupid hand, his own stupid actions, because he never learned. He never learned.

No matter what he tried, no matter what he did, Jimmy would always be the canary.

“I hate myself,” he cried into the empty afterlife, drawing his knees up to his chest and rocking back and forth, wrapping his golden wings around himself as if they could shield him from the harsh reality. As if they could protect him from the truth.

“I hate myself,” he wept, and nothing changed for it. Time still ticked, tocked, sand trickling through the hourglass of life. His own hourglass was cracked open, sand spilling to the ground.

“I hate myself,” he whispered, and it echoed throughout the empty white space that stretched out infinitely.

And then he wasn't alone.

And then Skizz was there, with a gasp and tears streaking down his face but a smile on his lips. And then Joel was there, with a frustrated scream of rage. And then Bdubs.

They all exchanged brief words. Joel hugged Jimmy tightly for a moment, mournful whispers of a planned sacrifice in his ear. It wouldn't have worked. It never did. But Jimmy thanked Joel for trying.

And then someone was sitting next to him, cross legged and hands in their lap, tail swishing back and forth slightly. Jimmy didn't even need to look over to see who it was. He knew the presence of his rancher, knew the beat of his heart and the rhythm of his breathing.

“I'm sorry you got out first again,” Tango said, just as Jimmy muttered, “out first again, huh?”

They both looked at each other, meeting eyes that were finally their natural hue, and for a moment just stared. Then, Tango giggled nervously, and Jimmy couldn't help but smile as well.

“I'm still sorry about hitting you,” Jimmy apologized, wrapping a wing around Tango. “I was just bein' bad, you know how it is.”

Tango laughed, leaning against Jimmy. “I think it suits you. Black leather brings out your eyes. When you're not wearing sunglasses. I mean. Obviously. Because when you're wearing sunglasses your eyes are covered and–”

“Tango, Tango, buddy, I get it,” Jimmy interrupted, his mind far away from the self-loathing of earlier. “Here. Hold on.” He took off his sunglasses and fluttered his eyelashes at Tango. “Better?”

Tango's face went red, and he nodded. “Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Cool! Those are your eyes! Wow!”

“You two really are soulmates,” Cleo commented from where they stood with Bdubs and Scar, an arm around the former. “Get a room, jeez.”

Jimmy shot her a glare, though there was nothing behind it. “Oh, buzz off!”

Tango burst out laughing, his shoulders shaking and tail tip flicking back and forth. “Ohhhh, oh man. I'm glad I got to see you again, Jimmy.”

“You need to visit more often,” Jimmy muttered, “I missed you.”

Tango pouted slightly. “I know... I'll try. I promise. But you know me, I start working on some project and then forget about time...” Noticing how Jimmy's shoulders slumped, he hurried to add on, “but I'll try! I will! I promise!”

“Good.”

“Good!”

As the last of the sand spilled from Martyn's hourglass, Jimmy and Tango watched. And as with every game, they slowly began to fade away from the afterlife, sent back to their home servers.

“Remember,” Jimmy told a translucent Tango, his voice resonating strangely, “you promised you'd visit.”

Tango grinned, nodding. “Rancher's honor! See you soon!”

And with that, they faded away.

Somewhere, a tiny toy sheriff awoke with a gasp, and felt like something was missing.

Somewhere, a hermit awoke with a soft yelp, and felt as if he'd broken a promise.

[countrymusiclover]

7 - Smells like Fire

Part 8

The Lion Knight and Dragon Princess

Tags- just send an ask to be added @cdragons @kmc1989 @starkleila @noirrose21-blog @lover-of-books-and-tea

Days later things had seemed to get better between Sansa and I but she didn't know the truth. I knew she had enough on her plate rather than deal with my current situation. Entering Tyrion’s chamber I shut the door behind me hearing it click and lock behind me. Looking around I found him and a swordsman named Bromm standing at his table near the window. 'Why don’t you just use that on them instead of fighting the lot on the battlefield?’

“Because I'm not certain it will work. And if it does we can only use it once to be a surprise attack.” Tyrion responded leaning his palms on the table.

I finally made my presence in the room known to the pair. “What’s the one time attack?”

“Vaella! Um, it's nothing you should worry about. You'll be in the crypts with Sansa.” Tyrion spun around trying to hide the map with his body.

“Tyrion, what is it?”

He avoided my question with a compliment. “Doesn't she look nice, Bronn. I think she does.”

“Tyrion!’

He watched my movements and held his arms out blocking me. I ran forward and he threw some punches at me holding me back for a second till I twisted his wrist and threw the lord down onto his back. “Vaella - agh!”

“Woah, I'd never think a princess would land you flat on your back.” Bronn mocked with a proud smirk.

Tyrion groaned, pushing his body up from the stone tile. “How did you manage that, princess?”

“Jaime briefly taught me defense in secret.”

Bronn's smirk grew bigger on his face. “I’m beginning to like this girl more than I like you.”

Pushing over my hair out of my face I huffed going to the map seeing a bright green jar beside it. Slowly picking up the jar in my hands concerned if it broke onto the floor. “You’re going to use Wildfire on them. That’s why you didn’t want me to see this.” Glancing over my shoulder I felt tears welling in my eyes thinking back on the many times I’d seen it used.

“I wasn’t sure how you would react if I told you what the battle strategy was. Your - your father was obsessed with it. I - I - I’m sorry for not telling you in the first place.” Tyrion nervously responded standing behind me next to Bronn.

Sitting the jar down on the table I eyed the map behind me recalling the section of tunnels I would use to sneak out for Jaime and I to spend time alone without my father or other guards realizing we had gone. “It’s okay, Tyrion. I shall wish you luck that your plan works. Wildfire is unpredictable, just like me.” Walking around him my dress swaying with my hips and I closed the door behind me.

“What do you think she meant by that?” Bronn asked, rather confused.

The youngest Lannister eyed the door where she had left, he hoped that one day he would get to know more of the Targaryen princess. “I don’t know but hopefully I can find out.”

Amber had fitted me into a black tunic shirt, red trousers and black riding boots figuring that a dress of any sort wouldn’t be suitable for sword training. Tying my hair up into a ponytail Jaime and I snuck our way through the secret tunnels. “So what does your lady in waiting think of you doing this?” Jaime asked, laying his sword on the ground and drawing out another blade for me from his belt.

“She thinks that I’ll beat you.” I teased with a smirk in his direction.

Jaime smirked a cocky look my way, handing me the handle blade. “Oh, she does. Well I’m sorry to disappoint her and say that a beginning like you can’t.”

Closing my fingers around the blade handle I sucked in a breath raising the sword beside my head before we started charging at the other beginning to fight one another. “Don’t be so cocky, Lannister.”

"Relax your dominant arm, Vae." Jaime instructs as I swing with my right arm out more even though I'm holding the sword in both hands. "If you use the same move all the time your opponent can learn which arm is the weakest."

Our swords smack against each other before gently shoves me backwards in the training yard that overlooks the water outside of the Red Keep. "Jaime?" I grunt, taking another swing at him.

He swung back circling me to make our sword press against one another for a moment. "Yes, my princess." He steps back a little sword still raised as I get back in a fighting stance.

I raise my sword trying to strike him but he lightly elbows me in my side to strike me from below. I switch my sword to my left hand for a moment to knock him away. "Your form is better than the last time."

He complimented my reply. "Thanks -uh!" I grunted out, pressing my sword against his. He pressed his sword against mine, never losing gaze with mine.

"Jaime, I-uh..." He started to loosen his hold on his sword when we pushed the other back but suddenly he knocked my sword from my left hand, knowing we both are dominant in our right hands. I dodge his next attack to reveal a dagger from inside my boot and block his sword coming down on me.

"Impressive, princess." He parts his lips when I push his sword down getting up from being on my knees.

"Thank you. But don’t call me that.” I aimed the dagger up, tapping the tip against his chin.

Jaime placed his sword into his holder, closing the distance between the two of us. “You know you love it.” He smirked, connecting our lips together. He was secretly right about, yet I wouldn’t ever tell him that was the case.

I had told Sansa that I wouldn’t be joining her and the other ladies in the bottom of the castle. I needed to see Tyrion’s plan go through otherwise the entire city would be taken down. Tugging a black cloak over my head I peaked my head around the corner seeing nobody was there. Running through the streets I climbed up one of the nearest ladders of a building top that allows me to see the ship ports.

Looking over the shortest column I saw hundreds or maybe thousands of ships coming towards the land. An arrow on fire flew over my head landing onto a ship that had Wildfire liquid pouring out of it and circling the ships so that when the arrow hit the water green flames grew so quickly there was no way of stopping it.

The familiar haunting fire spread before my eyes with multiple explosions shaking the ground that was near the area of water. I gasped feeling a tightness inside my chest seeing bright green before my eyes after all these years. “Burn them all - Burn them all!” Those three horrible words through my ears where I covered them, stumbling down the ladder and running wherever I could trying to escape the loud sound of men screaming and flames filling the sky above my head.

Cutting through the empty hallway I came out into another area filled with the king guards fighting Stannis’s where I had to duck underneath some of the attackers, rolling onto the ground. “Vaella! What are you doing out here?” Whipping my head around I saw Tyrion coming towards me in battle armor.

“I saw your attack.” My gaze shifted quickly seeing a Stannis soldier running straight up to us carrying a knife in his hand attempting to stab me until Tyrion stepped in the way getting cut across the face and collapsed to the dirt. “Tyrion!”

Dropping to my knees I touched his chest seeing fresh blood coming from the cut not sure what to do for him. “Get - out of - here.” He coughed before I felt someone grab my shoulder causing me to draw the blade I had hidden inside my boot. I stabbed the soldier in the chest that had cut him and drew the knife quickly frantically looking back at the lion on the ground carrying the blade in hand.

It took me an hour to get back to the castle and up to my chamber room. Slamming the chamber door behind me and pressing my body against it I sighed sliding down onto the floor trying to catch my breath until I heard footsteps come around the corner. “Clarisse, are you alright?”

“Sansa - what are you doing in here?” Lifting my head up from my knees I saw the young girl a few steps away from me.

She lowered her intertwined hands in front of her gown. “I was worried about you.”

“You don’t have to worry. I can handle myself, my lady.”

Sansa eyed something laying at my feet. “Where did you get a dagger from?” The dagger she was talking about was at my feet covered in blood from when I had stabbed one of Stannis’s men and fled back here. I hoped that Tyrion would be alright.

“It doesn’t matter. You should head back to your chambers. It is getting late-“ I scrambled to my feet to the chamber pot feeling instantly sick to my stomach. Leaning over it I emptied my stomach raising my head back up I collapsed down beside the pot.

Sansa poured me some water and handed it to me. “Here, drink. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“That’s not really what you wanted to ask me is it? Why don’t you just ask me what you really want to know.” I slowly downed the drink.

She parted her lips, muttering. “Who are you really? Because you know this place far better than a lady in waiting would who just came here, you snuck out tonight to watch the battle and you look like someone I read about in one of the old books.”

“Seems to me that you already have an answer so just say it.” I trailed off seeing she was a lot smarter than I had first given her credit for.

Sansa shook her head no in defiance. “I’m not sure I should.”

“Then I will.” Raising myself to my feet I curtsy to her in my handmaiden gown, my gaze holding intensely with hers. “Vaella, daughter of Aerys II and Rhaella Targaryen. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Seven hells.” Sansa for the first time in her life uttered a curse word from her mouth.

[emeritusemeritus]

86 Baby! [Eddie Munson x Reader]

Part 1

Title: 86 baby!

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader (friends to lovers), Implied Steve Harrington x Reader

Timeline: S4, set two weeks before graduation. Some Canon has been altered to fit the story; no Vecna, Byers never moved and Hop is alive.

Summary: In two weeks, you and your best friend Eddie would be graduating, taking your planned road trip and riding off into the sunset to leave Hawkins behind, until one little secret throws everything down the drain.

Warnings: it’s a little angsty, swearing, implied fake relationship, standard tropes, Eddie gets a little mean in part 2, drinking, deception.

Monday.

"Sooo..." Eddie draws out as he takes his usual seat next to you in the cafeteria, none of the other regulars appearing yet.

Eddie had met you outside of your classroom to walk with you to the lunch room, appearing outside the wooden door suspiciously early before the first bell sounded, a tradition that had begun on your first day of high school. He'd paused briefly as you approached the usual table and gestured flamboyantly for you to sit down first, sliding your chair in for you slightly before taking his own seat at the head of the table.

He sits awkwardly with one leg up on the plastic chair and one dangling next to you outstretched, but somehow for Eddie, that's what is comfortable.

“Tonight. I'm feeling a really crappy budget slasher and too much pizza," He says with a grin, placing down his metal lunchbox and absently pulling out a baggie of trail mix, which is mostly pretzels, navigating the array of suspicious paraphernalia inside.

"Oh," you reply, brain working overtime as you fight to think of a feasible excuse to avoid your weekly ritual, having forgotten all about it under your current stresses. "I'm sorry I totally forgot to tell you!" You giggle awkwardly, the little chuckle sounding absurdly fake to even your own ears. "I've got to help my mom pack tonight, she's going to see her friend from college over the weekend, I said I'd try and spend some time with her before she left, she's actually picking me up early tonight so you won't have to drop me home." You shrug gently, not quite meeting his eyes as you feel his curious gaze lingering upon you as he takes in your words. Okay, not a complete lie but also not the complete truth either.

"Oh, okay," he mumbles, sounding so dejected that you immediately feel the tugging weight of shame at your avoidance of him.

"Maybe we could do it another night instead, maybe Thursday?" You ask quickly, lifting your eyes to his, seeing that his face portrays every ounce of disappointment that his words did.

"On Hellfire night?" He asks sharply, his tone clipped and rudely sarcastic. "What's going on with you?" He asks brashly, eyes squinting as he examines your face, knowing that something isn't right.

"What do you mean?" You ask, trying to feign innocence.

"What do I mean? Lets see princess, firstly you forget our Monday movie night, a tradition unbroken since the dawn of time within the realms of our friendship, you disappeared on me last week, not warning me that your mom was picking you up early so I waited in the car park for 40 minutes. You didn't show up to our gig last Tuesday, and now you're forgetting Hellfire meets?" You can almost feel the twist of the knife with each of his words, his accusatory tone only increasing the guilt within you. Hearing all the examples together made you feel awful; all the evidence laid bare before you as to why you were a shitty friend recently.

"So come on, what's the jig princess?" He leans forward in his chair, eyes still squinting as you fight not to squirm under his intense gaze.

"Nothing! I told you I wasn't feeling well last week at first break, and I left a message with Miss Thomas to let you know I was going home!" You reasoned, still lying through your teeth at the motive, though you had thought to ask the office administrator to pass along a message to let him know you wouldn't be riding home with him, though they clearly had never reached out to him. "And Tuesday I had to take an extra shift at Benny's," you shrugged, trying to deflect the blame. “You know my car’s fucked, I’m trying to get it fixed.”

Mercifully, Gareth and Jeff were quickly making their way over to the table with their lunch trays and you visibly deflated with relief. Eddie shot a look towards the approaching party and turned once more to glare at you, fixing you with a look that told you that this conversation was far from over.

More of the Hellfire group began to spill in and you were thankful for the distraction, seeing that Dustin was hyped up over something that dominated the conversation you were barely listening to. Eddie was tense throughout the lunch, offering little to the conversation as he sat back and ate his pretzels, glaring about the room and huffing under his breath. The guys knew better than to provoke him when he was in this mood, knowing he was volatile at the best of times and so they carried on their conversation around him, trying to include him every now and then but not pushing.

When the bell rang, you quickly gathered up your bag and the lunch you'd only picked at, having found your appetite severely diminished by the tension and lingering guilt from the conversation with Eddie. Luckily, your Monday afternoon schedule did not coincide with Eddie's and you wouldn't have to see him for the rest of the day. You felt guilt and uneasy at lying to him, having never done so before, but you reasoned that it was for a good cause, even if you did feel conflicted.

The afternoon dragged on as you sat in History class, not paying a single ounce of attention to Mrs Click as you jotted down plans and lists and notes in your little notebook as ideas popped into your head. When the bell rang, signalling the time to head to the last class of the day, you all but sprinted out the front doors of the school and out into the car park where a car was waiting for you. Specifically, a burgundy 1983 BMW 733i.

You turned your head quickly to try and see if anyone was looking and quickly slipped into the passenger side, throwing down your bag into the footwell as you turned to greet your chauffeur.

"Hey," you smiled, looking up at the driver, who offered you a warm smile back, before you nervously look around once again to check that no one was watching.

"Hey you," Steve said with a wide smile, running his hand through his hair as he rested his elbow on the open window.

"Drive! I don't wanna get caught!" You prompted, quickly securing your seatbelt as you ushered him to drive away quickly. He chuckled, shaking his head but did as you requested and immediately began to drive out the parking lot and onto the main road.

"You know if you're ashamed of being seen with me, we might need to have a little chat," he grins, not looking at you but instead focusing on the road in front, a grin tugging at his lips at his own sarcastic comment.

"Oh hush, Hair-ington," you joke, rolling your eyes. "Simply thinking of you. You sure you wanna be seen collecting a kid from high school after you graduated last year, old man?" I joked, trying to push his buttons just a little. His face instantly scrunched up on displeasure until he shot me a disbelieving look.

"Pretty sure your boyfriend is older than me," he grumbles. I immediately know whom he's referring to.

"Eddie is not my boyfriend for the hundredth time," I say quickly, perhaps a little too defensively. "Plus he's still at school, so it's not creepy." You chuckle.

"Yeah because that makes it better," he adds sarcastically. You playfully blob your tongue out at him before nudging him gently by the shoulder.

"Not for much longer though," Steve says after a few moments, referring to our upcoming graduation. A pit of nervous excitement settles in your stomach as you think of your plans for graduation, glad to be rid of Hawkins High.

"I know, less than two weeks!" You babble excitedly, earning a laugh from Steve at your apparent elation.

"You know it's really not all it's cracked up to be, the adult world," he reasons, suddenly looking downcast as he thinks to how his life has turned around.

"Hey, just because you didn't go to college doesn't mean you're a failure you know," I protest, knowing that his lack of college education was always a sore spot with him, having spoken about it at great lengths only last week.

"I know it's just, not really how I thought I'd end up. Always figured I'd be able to leave Hawkins and branch out, broaden my horizons and all that, or I'd get stuck working for my dads company. Never thought I'd be working in a rental video store 40 hours a week and still living at home with my parents at 19," he mutters, grabbing his nose with his hand as you'd observed him so anytime he was upset or stressed.

"Yeah but at least you're free," you counter, adding more before he could protest, "the way I see it, you're making money, that money can go on a deposit or the start of a college fund, whatever you want to do more. Then when you finally get where you want to be, you have the satisfaction that you made it all by yourself, no help from mummy and daddy, just your own accomplishments."

He's quiet for a few seconds as he ponders over your words, nodding gently as he processes them.

"When did you get so wise?" He chuckles, looking over at you, earning a laugh in return.

"I've always been wise, you just never chose to listen." Both of you laugh as you watch the tree line get denser and denser as you pull away from the main roads, out towards the Byers' house.

The Byers house was the perfect place for your secret little meetings. It was hidden away at the ass end of Hawkins, tucked away behind the lab, a fair drive from the centre of town and away from all your friends houses, including the furthest place from the trailer park, (not counting the Wheeler house but that was too risky incase saw you and Mike opened his big mouth). The Byers' house was close enough to Harrington's that he could park up at home on Cornwallis and walk across to the Byers' on Mirkwood through the woods and no one would be aware of anything out of the ordinary, should they come round poking their noses in.

Joyce was a gracious and willing host and had offered you her house for your little meetings, keeping you away from prying eyes, something both of you were thankful for.

Approaching the Byers' house, you climbed out of the BMW and gave a little wave as Steve drove back to his house to park the car; he would join you in 5 minutes after walking the little path that lead him out directly facing Castle Byers, ready for your meeting.

Your little meets had been happening more and more frequently in the past couple of weeks and you were almost sad that they would be coming to an end, both because you were enjoying your time spent with Steve and because it was fun to sneak around. Joyce had naturally been sworn to secrecy and true to her word had not told a single soul, except maybe Hopper. Jonathan had run into you accidentally one day as he arrived home early from dropping Will off somewhere but it really hadn't been too hard to cover up as Steve jolted out the back door and you had stuck around for dinner with Joyce and Jonathan, something not entirely unheard of.

The only issue was Eddie, as proven by your little set-to in the cafeteria today. He was becoming increasingly paranoid and suspicious of your whereabouts and your sudden flakiness, which was alarming. You'd called off your meeting with Steve Thursday in order to sit in on Hellfire instead, trying to prove to Eddie that you were still there for him, though you felt torn once you realised what you'd rather be doing.

The rest of the week came and went and you'd been entirely successful in hiding your rendezvous with Harrington, even seeming to put Eddie's mind to rest once you arrived at Hellfire, much to his surprise. He'd put on quite a show for you that night, his eyes flickering over to you frequently as you listened intently to his stories, the DM telling the cult of Vecna campaign so eloquently that you had been mesmerised by his performance the entire night.

You were never an official member of Hellfire, instead choosing to observe and assist rather than play. Sure you had a few Hellfire shirts gifted by Eddie, some you even used to sleep in that been printed with faults and some practice prototypes on different shirt silhouettes and you'd devised campaigns and character sheet with him occasionally but you never actually joined in the campaigns unless you were acting as an emergency sub. Eddie liked to call you his glamorous assistant, likening you to a magician's right hand lady but you always opposed this, stating you were more like the dungeon master's puppet, pulled by strings for his own means.

With your mom gone, you two had hung out at your place after Eddie had driven you home from Hellfire. You'd ordered a pizza and watched an old horror movie that Eddie loved, hoping that it would make it up to him.

Everything was going well until the following Tuesday came around.

Tuesday: the weekly ritual of Corroded Coffin's scheduled gig at the Hideout, 8pm til 10:30pm, never to be missed. You'd missed the previous week and you knew that you couldn't miss this one, after seeing how hurt Eddie had been, not to mention the offhanded comments from the rest of Corroded coffin at the lunch table. You thought your plan of ditching Phys-Ed Tuesday afternoon and having Steve pick you up around the corner from the school would be flawless; you'd even gone as far as timing your departure with his shift finishing at family video so it would look like a coincidental meet on Cherry, near the church plaza as no one would think twice about him seeing you across the parking lot from the video store and offering you a ride home. Eddie usually skipped that class anyway and had a few deals scheduled in during his self made free period, so he would be conducting business at the bench in the woods, far out of sight of the entire school, and more importantly, your exit route.

All had gone to plan right up until you checked the clock hours later and saw that it was 7:45pm and you were going to be late to the show.

"Shit!" You cried out, throwing down your stuff and quickly reaching for your backpack stuffed on the side of the sofa. You frantically dug through your bag to fish out the handmade corroded coffin shirt that you'd stuffed in there earlier today and quickly threw it on over your bra, which you had stripped down to earlier that evening so avoid getting your shirt dirty.

Steve, who lay on the floor beside you only moments ago looked on with a shocked expression, confusion littering his features as he watched you dress.

"Can you give me a ride to the hideout?" You asked quickly, running to the bathroom to quickly fix your hair and makeup, checking that nothing had smudged.

"Uh yeah, sure," he says, throwing on his shirt from earlier, grimacing as he slips the button up over his sweaty body. He runs a hand through his hair, attempting to smooth it out as he watches you flutter around in a rush.

You appear a moment later, quickly shoving things into your backpack, careful to avoid any liquids from spilling as you try to straighten up Joyce's living room. You all but run out of the door only to exclaim profanities again as you realise you forgot your borrowed keys, knowing that they'd probably been thrown to the bottom of your bag in your haste.

"Relax, I've got it," Steve says, twisting the key in the door that Joyce had graciously had made for both of you for times exactly like this.

"Thanks," you said gratefully, trying to calm yourself but it was a pointless endeavour. Your heart was pounding as you entered the car, eyes never leaving the little digital clock that seemed to taunt you the entire journey. You were thankful that Steve never commented on your frantic demeanour, nor the reason behind it and even more thankful that he'd chosen to drive quickly, just barely on the right side of the law.

You're luck has officially ran out.

With minutes to spare, Steve pulled up to the Hideout and into the parking lot, only to be right in the line of sight of Eddie's van, and more importantly, Gareth. He peered over in curiosity, leaning against the van as he smoked a cigarette, his usual ritual just before they took the stage. He seemed to say something to himself briefly only to be joined by Jeff a moment later, who had jumped out of the van clutching his guitar. You could see their lips moving, both of them looking directly at you, no doubt running their mouths about the curious sight of you in the car with Steve Harrington. You sighed, defeated, knowing that they would never let you live this down and your stomach dropped an inch further with the realisation that there was no was in hell they wouldn't tell Eddie.

"Thanks Steve, I'm really sorry about this," you mumbled, not really knowing what exactly you were apologising for but feeling a level of embarrassment at your actions. You begin to open the car door and grab hold of your bag until he replies, keeping you sat inside the car for a moment longer.

"Hey don't worry about it," he says, running a hand through his hair. "Want me to walk you out?" He asks, his eyes peering into yours as he tries to offer support. 

"No that's okay, I-" you begin to say, only to be cut off by an obnoxious shout.

"Harrington!" Jeff calls out, acknowledging the man in the car as both his and Gareth walk towards you, each with curiously smug smiles on their faces.

"H-hey guys," Steve stammers slightly as he greets them, stepping out of the car as he gives them a small restrained wave with his right hand, whilst holding on to the door.

"Y/n, didn't think we'd be seeing you tonight," Gareth says curiously, his words holding an air of suspicion which made you nervous.

"Well I'm here," you shrug, trying to downplay your panic, "just like always."

"Except last week," Jeff adds quickly, immediately grimacing as he shoots you a remorseful look at his quipped tone.

"So Harrington, what?" Gareth begins to ask, only to be cut off by a figure moving out from the back door.

"Guys what the hell, we're on in- oh." Eddie says as he thrusts his way out of the back door, immediately coming to realise what he was seeing. His face drops instantly, a harsh glare forming in his eyes as he looks between you and Steve, each of you clearly having just exited the car together.

"Harrington," Eddie nods once, clipped and unpleasant as he stares at you, trying to understand why you would be in the car with Steve.

"Munson," Steve replies, though his tone is lighter and more polite as he nods back to the man who still appears shell shocked.  There's a tense silence that washes over us all for a few moments, with both Gareth and Jeff shooting glances at Eddie who's face seems thunderous.

"I should get going," Steve suddenly says, turning to face you with a look in his eyes that shows his discomfort.

"Yeah totally, thanks for the ride," you reply, trying to keep it short and sweet, not wanting to disclose any information to the 3 boys stood watching your every move. Steve smiles in return and ducks his head back into the car as you walk away from the passenger side, over to where the boys are stood.

"What, no kiss?" Eddie says venomously as he watches Steve drive away. You immediately frown at his words and sudden bad mood, trying not to let his words affect you.

"Yeah because I kiss every guy who offers me a lift when I'm too broke to get my car fixed," you sarcastically reply, hoping to deflect away the insinuation.

"I could have given you a ride," he says, eyes still fixed on the car as it drives away onto the north Highway, back into town. "If you'd been around lately."

He then walks off, not once turning to look back at you. The guys wordlessly follow him, knowing it's time to go on stage, but not before shooting you sorrowful looks of apology, neither of them realising that Eddie would be so wound up.

You follow them through the back door and instantly turn left instead of following them right towards the stage area. You stalk over to the bar, Eddie's bad mood clearly rubbing off on you as you throw yourself onto a high bar stool and order a double vodka and coke, hoping to ease some of the tension in your body with alcohol. The hideout was notorious for forgetting to check ID, and you used that little fact to your satisfaction tonight. The night didn't really improve at all, except that you'd had enough vodka in your system to numb the ache ever so slightly, freeing you from the overwhelming discomfort of conflicting emotions brought on by Eddie's venom. Their set was good but not great like usual, no doubt on account of Eddie's tenseness and vile mood which prevented him from playing as well as usual, his entire body seeming tense as he avoided all eye contact with you throughout the show.

You were in two minds to stick around after the show, not knowing if Eddie would offer you a ride like normal or whether you'd have to hitch a ride home some other way. Walking would be too dangerous and frankly too far to walk, given your alcohol consumption and overbearing weariness, plus calling Steve seemed like a really bad idea, like adding fuel to any already burning fire. You could call your mom but you knew she'd smell the alcohol on you straight away and you'd be lectured until the end of eternity. Maybe Jonathan would come for you ?

When you walked up to the guys after their set, offering to help load the van just like normal, Eddie virtually ignored you and instead hoisted the heavy equipment by himself. Gareth and Jeff had tried to make small talk, trying to diffuse the tension and Richard, the bass player, had looked on in complete confusion at the tense exchange.

"Gareth can you take her home? Got some shit to do," Eddie states blankly, nodding his head towards you, never once allowing his eyes to drift in your direction. He couldn't even use my name. Had seeing me with Harrington really hurt him that badly?

"Uh yeah sure man," Gareth replies, looking at me with what can only be described as pure pity. Eddie doesn't wait around for anything other than a confirmation before he climbs into the van and drives away like a maniac, leaving all of us standing out in the cold.

It's quiet for a few moments, no one really knowing what to say. Do they comment on it or do they avoid the elephant in the room entirely? Either way, you weren't waiting around to find out.

"Y/n, you can-," Gareth begins to say, gesturing towards his car parked a few spaces away.

"Thanks Gareth but it's cool, I'll just call Jonathan, he owes me one," you shrug, trying to downplay the hurt you were feeling, embarrassed that you were left to be a burden on the other members.

Gareth tries to protest but you wave your hand dismissing him, silencing him in the nicest way you could as you begin to feel the tears prickling at the corner of your eyes, willing them to disappear.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow, great show," you manage to say before walking back inside the hideout, tears making their way down your face as you can finally hide away from their view. You walk to the pay phone and freeze, thinking of your limited options before dialling an all too familiar number.

"Hello?" The voice answers, sounding sleepy as if you'd probably just woke him up. You check the clock on the way behind you and fight back a sigh, not realising the time.

"I'm sorry, I've just woken you up haven't I," you said sympathetically, feeling guilty of the fact.

"It's fine, honestly, Y/n, you okay?" He asks quickly, sounding concerned. You can hear a faint rustle in the background and you can envision him sitting up in bed, covers falling at his waist as he runs his spare hand through his hair.

You sigh, willing the tears to go away as you fight to take a shaky breath, not really knowing how to answer.

"I- no not really," you fight to get it out, lip wobbling slightly in your pathetic state. "Could you pick me up? I'm alone and I didn't know who else to call, I'm really sorry Steve," you all but whimper, babbling.

"He left you?" Steve sounds outraged, immediately knowing that something must have happened between Eddie and yourself.

"Kind of, he took off," you said, sounding small, not really wanting to go into detail.

"Stay right where you are, I'm on my way. Don't let anyone talk to you or give you a drink or anything okay? I'm coming." He immediately goes into protective dad Steve mode as you hear him bolting around his room for clothes.

"Thank you, so much," you say pathetically.

"I'll be right there Y/n okay, stay safe, I'm coming."

Steve hangs up the phone and you sink down into yourself on the little phone booth, feeling utterly broken and pathetic. The vodka in your system had all but dried up, the actions of tonight sobering you up quickly as you were left alone to deal with the consequences of your actions.

Steve arrived in 7 minutes, which you were sure must have been some sort of record. He immediately burst out of the car after throwing it into park and enveloped you in a tight hug as you cried once again. He pulled back and ran his eyes over you, checking for any signs of you being hurt but then gave you a sad smile when he realised you were only hurting on the inside.

"Come on," he says gently, pulling at your hand as he leads you back to the car, opening the door for you. "Milkshakes make everything better." He gives you a warm smile and closes the door, before walking quickly to his side and climbing in.

"Steve you really don't have to, I already feel bad enough that you had to come get me," you protest but he shushes you quickly, a serious look falling across his face.

"I'm glad you called me, you should have never been left alone."

"He dumped me on Gareth but I knew he didn't want to get involved or really drop me home so I didn't know what else to do," you confessed.

"He should have taken you home, mad or not. You made the effort to be here, he should see that."

The two of you talked in the car for a little while longer, with Steve being the ideal shoulder to cry on, both figuratively and literally and by the end of the night you did feel better.

"I just don't know why he was so angry," you said honestly, finishing the last of the milkshake he'd bought you from Benny's.

"You really don't see it?" Steve replies, giving you a sad smile.

"See what?" You ask naively, unsure of what hr was talking about.

"He's jealous. He probably thinks we are together and that you hid it from him. Not because he thinks he's being replaced as your friend but because he thinks someone else swooped in and took a shot before he could."

"That's... crazy. Eddie doesn't have any intention of 'taking a shot' with me, believe me," you say quickly, feeling as if you'd disclosed too much already.

"So you want him to?" Steve asks curiously, though his question isn't laced with sarcastic undertones or any hint of teasing.

"Yes," you answer quickly and honestly, needing no time to think.

"He drives me crazy, he's so smart but so fucking stupid sometimes. When it started we were just friends then all of a sudden one day I started noticing things about him, stuff I'd never thought of before. I noticed how often he'd look at me or reach out for me, always checking if I was there or if I was paying attention before he'd burst out into dramatics, smiling and laughing with me when it was over. Then the butterflies came each time he'd do something like that and I'd think wow what if he's feeling this too. A few times I was sure he was going to make a move, it all seemed so intimate at times, the looks and the gestures but then, nothing. He'd change the conversation or he'd look away and I'd be reeling thinking of why. I guess he just doesn't see me like I see him."

You couldn't help but babble your way through a monologue Shakespeare himself would be proud of, hardly even pausing for breath as you reeled off your thoughts and emotions into Steve's listening ears.

"I think he does," Steve says calmly after a few moments of quiet. You look at him with sad eyes and he offers a little smile. "You're beautiful, funny, caring, he'd be absolutely blind or crazy if he didn't realise that." You blush at Steve's words, wanting to hide your shy smile but you persist. "I can promise you that the only reason guys aren't lining up at your door is because Eddie has either scared them off or they already think you're a couple. Hell, I'd have shot my shot at you if it weren't so apparent that you were inseparable with him, well, that and your horrible taste in music," Steve jokes.

"Hey! Judas Priest are metal gods and you can't deny that! But thank you Steve," You laugh, along with Steve who's expression had warmed.

"You'll get through this, you and Eddie. You just have to give him some time to come around."

So that's exactly what you did. Problem was, that wasn't what Eddie was doing, he was giving you both space and time.

[queerpossumtrenchcoat]

Let's talk gender expression, awful haircuts and realisation of who I am! I came out as gender fluid approximately around the age of the third picture above- and I got an awful haircut to match it, but at the time I felt like THE gender vibe; I was 13, or so, and didn't realise I looked like I'd had a fistfight with a weed whacker. It was a stepping stone however, for me to discover who I was; after this time I started to experiment with my look, name and pronouns, leaning more towards he/they and slowly changing my name from Jaimee to Jai and or James- small steps, I know, but crucial ones in me realising my dead name no longer really fit me as a person. James was a family name after all. Finding myself wasn't always glamorous, the look wasn't always particularly handsome or pretty, it was colour the tips of my hair with sharpie markers and conditioner until my hair had a distinctly petrol-and-macadamia type stench or cutting it with a cheap, disposable razor which ended up giving me hair reminiscent of the early 2000s emo scene (which I totally was, even if I only saw 6 years of the 'early 2000s!'). I would hack off chunks, flatten my chest with cheap Duct Tape and wear boxers I stole from my dad in order to feel some semblance of who I was, using makeup to poorly build cheek bones and eyebrows so I could look like my hero at the time, Brendon Urie (God, that aged poorly..) In time I got creative, I learned that my parents wouldn't let me get a 'real boy's haircut' so I'd have to improvise; here came the next 6 months of beanie hats and ponytails pulled over to create a 'boy fringe' which, in retrospect, was giving more Justin Beiber than Emo Quartet, but that all chained when I turned 16 and... Got to dye my hair for the first time!! It was the greatest experience for my gender to date!! My mother bought me midnight blue hairdye for my 16th birthday and helped me dye it; I looked in the mirror at my fairly short ish, dark blue hair and I saw it. I saw him, stood staring back at me with tears in his eyes. I saw ME. I told my girlfriend, at the time anyway, straight away and she accepted me with open arms- I think she was expecting the genderfluid-to-trans masc timeline, which funnily enough he followed in 2022 during lockdown. Lockdown dug its claws into my gender and expression quite deeply; while at home with my mother, father and two very young siblings I came to experiment with my gender a lot more, dressing in more masculine clothes and cutting my hair off for 'sake of ease', or that's what I told my parents anyway- they believed it too, surprisingly. I went through college having to somewhat pretend I was just a feminine man, I was exhausted and on the brink of suicide, as most people my age at the time were, and went by Eden because it seemed more palatable to the others around me- didnt stop me being picked on, but it wasn't by students... It was my own teacher! Shout out to Miss Dunsby! Then I dropped out of college. I picked up a shitty little cafe job as a barista and linecook, cooking meals, making coffees, pretending I gave half a shit about a joke I'd heard over and over again; I dyed my hair neon green and used my pay checks to get it cut SHORT short for the first time- I looked hella fine, in my opinion, but I was also starting to realise something.. Maybe I had been right the first time, because I didn't feel like a man all the time. Back to the drawing board... One shaved head and a job at a gay bar later, I started using the art of drag, performing as a female persona, to realise that I was Masc-Agender, like a boyish presenting genderless person. Easy enough, I suppose. I started wearing makeup, being myself and wearing whatever I damn pleased, uncaring of social cues and rules, I was me. I was happy. I AM happy. If there is anything you can take away from this, once you find the part of yourself you can express your feelings, thoughts and emotions with, go wild!! I did and it made realising my truth so much easier!

[foolstower]

Pomegranates & Brunch

Elliot x reader (Stardew valley)

A/n: obsessed with the dew rn

Pomegranates.

A peculiar little fruit that you didn't much care for until you moved to Stardew valley. Cracking one open you could see it's ruby red seeds gleam under the sunlight. Maybe he'll come by today. He'll ask, how are you? With a smile. His voice carries with the wind and draws your attention each time. You try to say something different each day. Hoping one of the topics will keep him around longer than usual. But it's always ends the same.

You give him a pomegranate. Like you have everyday this fall.

Picking two more pomegranates from the tree, you gingerly place them in the woven basket you were using to harvest all of your produce today.

It's been two seasons since you moved to the valley and you never would have guessed that the tree growing on your property would bear such beautiful fruit. When you first got here you noticed this tree was one of the few well kept things on the property. You soon found out that one of the valleys locals had been making trips out to the farm since he'd moved here. He said it was the only place close that he could get pomegranates anymore, so he'd come out and make sure the tree was doing ok. He came by when you moved in to ask if he could buy the fruits from you since you'd be living there from now on. You'd told him not to worry about it, he was more than welcome to stop by in the fall and take as many as he wanted, it could be a way of thanking him for keeping it healthy for so long.

but it was only half the truth. You were mesmerized from the moment you met him. He can take whatever he wants.

Continuing on to the barns, you promptly gave you're cows some amaranth you had stored away and a pat on the head. Then you made your way over to the coops to gathered eggs. Maybe you'll make breakfast this morning? Fresh eggs didn't sound so bad with a side of toast and some bacon. Your stomach started growling just thinking about it. That's what happens when you skip breakfast in favor of brunch to get things done early. You tried to ignore the slightly queezy feeling in your gut and continued on. The plan was to make a trip to Pierre's for some more pumpkin seeds before you notice a ginger head at the entrance of your farm.

You started your slow trek towards him, basket heavier now that it contained more items and the heat was sweltering. He looked more casual today, in a beige knitted sweater and jeans. His demeanor seemed more lax too. Did something good happen?

The breeze felt amazing once you made it to the steps of your home. Elliot met you there and you both took a seat together. You placed the basket down next to you and couldn't stop the yawn that released now that you'd finally relaxed.

"You look absolutely exhausted. Are you alright?" He asked, concern laced in every word. You turned to face him, and smiled. He was right, you were in fact extremely tired. The only thing keeping you going was a coffee break you had an hour ago.

"I'll be ok. I skipped breakfast this morning, but I was actually about to go inside soon and cook up something." You said. You looked at the eggs and milk in your basket and briefly fantasized about what kind of omelette you could make. When you looked back at Elliot he was staring at the basket too seemingly deep in thought. You quirked a brow. What's he thinking about?

"If its ok.. will you allow me to cook for you today?" The offer floated around in the air for a minute while you triple checked if you heard that right. "Listen, I know I mostly use these hands for writing but I'd like to think I'm a pretty good cook too." He said confidently. "Plus you've been a pleasure to be around since you got here. Let me thank you." He added, voice borderlining a teaseing tone. You blushed at that but more at the fact that he would be coming into your house. You can't remember if it was clean. Did you wash the dishes? How could he cook if the dishes are dirty... Oh well if anything you can just clean as he cooks. Plus how could you pass up a home cooked meal from the man of your dreams?

"Ok! I think I would like that actually." You say finally convinced. Standing up from your spot on the steps, you make your way toward the door. You leave the watering can next to the porch and pick up the basket. "Sorry if my place is a mess." You half mumbled as you grabbed the door knob and opened it up.

"Algae literally grows on my floorboards y/n."

"Touche."

Upon entering your home you noticed that the dishes were in fact dirty but it wasn't a mountain by any means. There were still clean pans and other utensils to be able to cook effectively.

"You have a very welcoming home, it's definitely yours." He admired, observing the various pieces of art on the wall and potted plants scattered around every possible area. It was cute.

"Thank you. I've always loved these things and didn't know I would find so many gems in the Valley." You fondly think of the traveling merchant. She's introduced you to so many things since being here.

"I wish I would've known, there's so many things I've seen that would fit perfectly in here." He thought back to all the things hes seen that's reminded him of you since meeting. You're so nice and he's been wanting to return the favor for all the gift you've given him. "Sorry I got sidetracked, two fridges? Which one should I use?" He questioned.

"I keep most things in the big fridge but if you need something else check the mini fridge." You told him as you picked up the sponge near the sink and lathered it up with soap. Turning on the faucet you started washing the spoons and forks. Elliot came up to the right of you and after a few clicks from the gas stove, it lit up. He placed a pan on top of the burner and then started to gather his ingredients from the fridge. He already looked handsome without trying but seeing him in the coziness of your home, cooking for you, made him undeniably more attractive.

You looked back at the dishes in your hands and started washing the plates. Thoughts of what it'd be like to have him in your life doing this everyday danced through your head. A soft grin sat comfortably on your face. You could hear the soft clinks of a metal fork hitting the bottom of a glass bowl as he stired eggs, milk and other seasoning into the mix. You didn't notice that he had tied his hair back into a loose ponytail and rolled his sleeves up to his elbow.

You put away the last dish and dried your hands. The kitchen was starting to smell delicious as he chopped up some spinach to put in the omelette that he had cooking in one of the skillets. Bacon was now sizzling on a second pan and a loaf of bread sitting to the side to get toasted later. You put on some coffee and grabbed two red cups from your pantry. After waiting about a ten minutes, poured two cups and placed them at the kitchen table and took a seat. A book sat on the table that Elliot had given you a few weeks ago. When you had first gotten 'Camellia Station' you were non-stop reading but as summer ended and fall began you had gotten too busy to wrap it up. Taking a sip of the coffee, you grabbed it and opened it up to where you had left off. There were only a few more chapters until the end.

It wasn't long before a plate was gracefully placed in front of you. An omelette that took up half of the dish, a few pieces of bacon, and two pieces of toast with butter spread on top. Green leaves were mixed into a soft fluffy yellow, freshly shredded cheese oozed from the center. You closed the book and sat it back in its place.

"Wow Elliot... This looks amazing!" You cheered. Your stomach started growling on cue as Elliot sat down in the seat opposite of you. A soft pink coated his cheeks at the compliment making you gush on the inside.

"It's not a problem at all, I hope it tastes as good as it looks." He nervously chuckled. He'd never really cooked for others since moving here. With no kitchen in his cabin and no one to really cook for there was never a need to go out of his way to do something like that. But after all you've helped him with he hoped that it came out at least ok.

You cut into the omelette a took the first bite. His hopes came true. The omelette was perfectly cooked, seasoned, and the cheese melted perfectly. You would dare say this is the best damned omelette you've ever had.

Elliot was pleased with what he saw. The look of pure satisfaction on your face was all the thanks he needed to be able to dig into his own omelette. His wasn't as perfect as yours was, considering his was the practice trial before making the the other one. It was still just as good however.

Though Elliot wasn't lying when he said he was making this breakfast to thank you for hanging out with him, he was also here to thank you for something else. Within the time span of knowing you he'd never experienced such a rush of creativity. Before he knew it he'd written a whole book by the end of summer. That very same book was now being recognized worldwide and he thought he should come clean about how exactly he got the idea for this novel.

"That was so goooood." You sighed looking at the empty plate Infront of you. Your stomach that used to be churning was now full and you felt like you had enough energy to power you into tomorrow.

Elliot chuckled softly and took a sip of his coffee before sitting it back down on the table. "Thank you, I'm glad it was to your liking." He glanced at his also empty plate as you picked them both up and took them to the sink. He debated how he should even bring the topic up. So many ways he could say this but none of them sounded right for you.

"Elliot, you ok? You seem deep in thought." You prodded. He had an elbow on the table with his cheek resting on the back of his fingers. His brows were knitted together but relaxed once his gaze landed on you.

"Im fine but if I'm being honest I did come here with other intentions." He said his olive green eyes stared at you for a second before continuing. "I need to confess something to you." He admitted.

Taking your place back in your seat, you gave him a questioning look. A confession?

"Oh? What about?" You said trying to hide the nervousness in your throat.

"Well, you've been a great inspiration to me, and I did come over today to thank you but not just for hanging out with me." He said gesturing to the book sitting on the center of the table. "Camellia station. It's a book I always had a general idea about. I knew how I wanted it to go but I never knew how to take it there." He said picking it up from the center of the table. "it actually wasn't until the beginning of this year that I was able to find the motivation to write it..... It was when I met you." He stated, Absolutely loving the scarlet that coated your cheeks at that last bit.

"When you met me?" The only thing on your mind.

"Yes, I met you and your presence brought a wave of complex feelings that helped me write this novel." He confirmed. He flipped to a page in the book and read one of the paragraphs aloud.

"Gozman had never met someone quite like Clara before. She had a certain allure that had her on his mind night and day. She was a hard worker with a kind soul and took time out of her busy life to always chat with him when he travelled. He doubt she knew considering she was a busy woman. But whenever he'd book his flights he'd always try and book her's. She brightened up his life a little and he found himself wanting to be around her more and more each passing moment." He read to you. His voice was soothing and deep. You stared on in wonder. Confused on where this was going but liking it none the less. This is the longest he's stayed around before and you don't mind one bit.

He closed the book and held it in his hands, reminiscing all the other lines he wrote with you in the back of his mind. His muse, you were a drop of fresh water that allowed his creative soul to blossom again. In his mind he would never be able to really make up for just how much you've truly helped him.

"You were the one on my mind when I wrote that paragraph. When I think of you, I get unusually creative. You've really helped me open up more as a writer and describe things in a way I never have before." He said. "I'm sorry if this is coming on too strong but I think you know what I'm trying to say. Don't you y/n?" He said taking your hand in his, he gently rubbed the top of your knuckles. This definitely wasn't his plan when he came over but here was no backing out now.

"Do I know what you're trying to say?" You asked. Half a tease and also genuine. Now was not the time to make any wrong assumptions. But how wrong could the assumption be when he's rubbing comforting circles into your acheing hand? He smiled.

"It means I like you. I haven't known you for even a year, yet you've inspired one of my greatest works. You're charming and I can't help but feel invigorated when you're around." He gave you're hand a comforting squeeze as you stared at him in disbelief. "I didn't come here with a bouquet but I would be honored if you'd be mine." He finishes looking up at you.

You're a mess. You don't know what to say, not that you don't accept his confession but how do you react to that? You're heart was racing so fast that the adrenaline was making you shake a bit. This made Elliot look at you with a bit of worry. Maybe he did come on too strong?

"I-im sorry I didn't mean to-"

"I love you!!" You blurted out. Immediately you covered your mouth you can't believe you just did that but you saw how worried he looked and that was the quickest way you could think to dissolve those fears. He looked at you shocked, not even he expected such a bold proclamation from you. You quickly gathered yourself and continued. "I think I knew I liked you too when I started obsessively harvesting pomegranates to give to you. I didn't know how else to convey my feelings for you, but knew you loved these fruits so I took extra care of the tree and harvested it's fruit everyday." You said finally confessing your feelings to him as well. You both relaxed. You stood up and headed to the woven basket where the pomegranates you picked this morning still rested and picked out the biggest one of the two. You made your way back and stood in front on Elliot, offering him the fruit.

"I don't have a bouquet either. But you can take this pomegranate from me again today, as a sign of my affection for you. Like it always has been." You softly stated to him. He took it from your hand and softly set it on the table next to the book before standing up and holding your hands, his right hand trailed up your arm to cradle your face.

"I love you too, my skills with words are unmatched but I can't think of any ways to properly tell you thank you enough." His hand gently slid down your cheek slightly and his thumb traced over your lips. "Allow me to show you?" He whispered. You answered by closing the gap. Your lips melted together like they belonged to each other. Your hands made it up to his chest and his made their way to your hips. He gave them a firm squeeze and backed you up against the table. A soft sound escaped the back of your throat and he lifted you onto the table. your arms were wrapped around his neck and he had a hand still on your hip and the other on your thigh when you finally broke the kiss. You both sighed trying to catch your breathes. Red dusted both of your faces, he definitely wasn't going home anytime soon.

"You're gonna stay and cook dinner too right? I can make it worth your while." You said hand coming down to trail suggestive circles on his chest. He blushed but softly laughed.

"Anything for you my dear, anything you want."

[jayden-killer]

DREAMS ARE MY REALITY. (pt.3)

[part 1] [part 2]

What would happen if your favourite fictional character appeared in your bed...?

A/N: I perfectly know this chapter doesn't really make sense, I just ran out of ideas...

Taglist (write me down in the comments if you want to be added!): @strxngegirl @d1lf-loverrr @laysmt @musicalhistorical @souichi-sbitch @majestic-jazmin

☆

Perhaps I had exaggerated previously with Miguel. Maybe I should have told him differently, and I shouldn't have been so…blunt. There was something in my little head that told me I'd hurt him. That he was probably standing in the shower thinking about what I told him. It was a hard pill to swallow. Hearing someone suddenly tell you that you were all an invention, a drawing... And I probably shouldn't even have told him. I took a deep breath, even as I anxiously swung my leg, constantly moving it. Nervous tic, yes I know. I glanced at the clock: 10.47 am.

We just needed this! Miguel would have taken care of my house in my absence, right? Or maybe not… I could picture him sprawled out on the sofa in the living room, with a tub of Stracciatella ice cream from my freezer, and a blanket over his legs, sobbing at the hard truth as he watched “Gossip Girl.” Poor Miguel. He had already suffered, this was the cherry on top. Perhaps, on the way back, some pizzas would cheer him up. Did he like pizza?

For God's sake! This whole situation had led me to lose track of time, and this had meant that my commitments had been postponed until late in the morning!

«Oh, no… I have to go to the office too! I have to collect those cards, damn it!». I zig-zagged around the room, looking for the first clothes I found in front of me, and in fact my choice was very questionable, because I was wearing baggy trousers and a crumpled shirt. However, my hair looked no better than my clothes. Upon returning, a shower wouldn't have hurt. I began to rush downstairs and collect the last things, i.e. shoes and work backpack, but in my haste, I went back and climbed the stairs very quickly. Miguel would have been engulfed in a state of confusion, and he would have thought I had disappeared. Or maybe not. He's not stupid!

«Miguel» My fist pounded insistently on the door «I have things to do today, plus I'm mega late for work; so, you won't find me since…» I took a quick look at my watch. «Now on! I've got to go, make yourself at home» I didn't wait for an answer from Miguel, I didn't even know if he had heard me, but it didn't matter, because those papers on the desk wouldn't have filled in by themselves. I hurriedly put on my shoes and ran, hoping to make up for the time lost this morning. The air was humid and so warm; this wasn't what I was planning for today. Running wasn't the perfect choice too: I would have arrived all sweaty and tired.

══════⊹⊱≼≽⊰⊹══════

«Where did they go?». Miguel looked around bewildered, eyebrows arched down with an expression of pure confusion. Had they left him there without warning him? You without even saying goodbye? He clicked his tongue in disappointment and put on the gray shirt he was given. It fit a little tight, like the washer had shrunk the clothes after a wash, but this made him notice that it accentuated his six pack abs even more. He didn't make a fuss about it, after all it was all that person owned, and he would even have to thank them when he got back. Looking in the mirror a hand traced the outline of his jaw, going up to the left cheek. Miguel couldn't help but think that he seemed strange to be a fictional character. He had always felt real, like a real human being. It was difficult for him to think that it was a creation. All this was complicated for him. His thoughts drifted elsewhere and he began to think about how to fix his Gizmo. Lyla was not available in any way, precisely because his four-dimensional clock was out of order. He snorted in pure anger, then remembered that there was no point in getting angry, and that keeping calm was, of course, the best option; so he went down to the living room and took a look at the mess that surrounded the room.

«Dios mio, que pasò aquì?» Miguel exclaimed. His eyes weren't met with a pretty sight. There were cloths strewn everywhere, books and papers on the tables and floor, and even crockery that hadn't been washed. Miguel felt a sense of generosity overwhelm him, deciding that it wouldn't hurt if he tidied up the house. After all, he owed his host a debt. For him the day seemed to pass quite quickly (this was because he was busy with household chores), mopping the floor, dusting the furniture and sorting dirty clothes from clean ones, all to the musical accompaniment of Manuel Chao albums. It was 5 in the afternoon and he collapsed on the sofa, exhausted. He hadn't happened to do all these chores even at his house, but perhaps this was due to the order he maintained in his laboratory and apartment. Miguel hated dirt, so he hated mess. Now the house gave off a delicate clean scent and the man felt satisfied. But as soon as his back leaned against the back of the sofa, some keys turned in the lock of the main door and Miguel pricked up his ears: it was only the landlord who had left him in the morning, now with two pizza boxes in his hands and a plastic bag. «I'm back. Hey, what's that clean smell? I don't remember cleaning».

«That's because I cleaned».

«Oh».

«Yeah». Miguel took a breath and took the pizza boxes into his hands, depositing them on the kitchen island. They looked around and immediately realized that Miguel had cleaned their house while he was away. «Did you do everything yourself?» Miguel nodded and leaned his arms on the island. «But...why?».

«Because I had to repay. I am your guest now, consider me as a sorta of roommate. Ah, and because there was a mess everywhere».

They let out a laugh upon hearing that confession, shook their head and placed their hands on his hips. “I owe you one. Or maybe more».

«More than one» Miguel pointed out.

«Okay, O'Hara. I'll go wash my hands and then we'll eat this good pizza, yes?».

«Que chingados me ocurrió…».

He had to admit it, Miguel had never felt so welcome that this felt strange. His family had mistreated him so many times during his life that a proposition as trivial as simple as eating pizza with a person he had met that very morning seemed unreal. He'd felt strange and confused, but part of him couldn't take it. He wanted to make things better. He really wanted to help this time and be friendly. Even if that would take a long, long time, according to him. He nodded a second time, seeing his host walk away towards the bathroom. He breathed in and out, and ran a hand through his hair.

[zickyvici]

Tetcho Suehiro: A character analysis (Part 4)

Read Part 3 here first!!

A popular fan theory to explain this behavior is that Tetcho is neurodivergent and is on the autistic spectrum. This would explain his hyperfixations, unusual food pairings (which he finds perfectly normal) and him taking things quite literally sometimes. However, I'm not knowledgeable enough on this topic to feel comfortable writing about it. I'd much appreciate it if someone with more experience could add their thoughts to this theory.

One thing about Tetcho is that he just likes keeping to himself. He prefers to let others do the talking while he observes. He's usually shown standing in the background, only stepping up when he feels the need to, unlike Jono who's usually in the foreground, taking the lead.

At this point, I'd like to talk more about his relationship with Jono. We barely see Tetcho outside of fights or work meetings, but we get a glimpse of his more laid-back side when he's alone with Jono. As I've just said, Tetcho likes keeping to himself and usually stays in the background. But when he's with Jono, he becomes chattier - obviously Jono still does most of the talking, but the only time we see Tetcho smile and talk about anything other than his mission is when he's with Jono. 

He fully trusts Jono and his ability, as shown in the Café Uzumaki scene ("What Jono says is surely right"/"There's no mistake in what Jono has said"). Although he dislikes the way Jono torments people, he stands behind Jono more than he stands behind Fukuchi - which is huge, considering that leadership and justice are the most important things to him - but not quite as important as his friendship with Jono. And Jono knows this. After Fukuchi told Jono the truth and Jono betrayed him, Jono was completely certain that, given the evidence, Tetcho would believe him over Fukuchi. 

(I'm not at all trying to say that Tetcho doesn't respect and trust Fukuchi because he absolutely does. Interestingly, he's often drawn facing/standing behind Fukuchi, while he's usually on the same height as Jono - I'm guessing it represents how Tetcho looks up to Fukuchi as his superior and considers Jono as his friend and colleague.)

Obviously, the clearest proof of Tetcho putting Jono over the mission was when he abandoned all his morals and beat up an (innocent) 14 year old because Jono went missing (and he was only gone for like…15 minutes too) - "For just five minutes, I will place Jono above justice."

We've seen that Tetcho usually keeps a cool head during battle, taking calculated and smart decisions. However, during his fight with Kenji, he seems so out of his mind that he doesn't give Kenji time to explain himself, he draws illogical conclusions and doesn't stop to think about what he's doing. Remember how I said that Tetcho hates torturing others? This is the only instance where we see him being okay with it (Teruko tells him that she'll torture Atsushi and Tetcho is okay with it) and even torturing Kenji himself.

Only after the fight he realizes that he got overwhelmed by his emotions and ignored all his morals - and asks for death. He doesn't feel like he should be a Hunting Dog anymore. This once again demonstrates how seriously he takes his job and how important justice is to him. He realizes his mistakes, fully accepts that the ADA is innocent and lastly, becomes Kenji's friend (before passing out on the floor). 

Now that we've covered everything single appearance he's canonically made and analyzed every action he's taken, it's time to get theoretical. 

First of all, I find it interesting that after Tetcho realized his mistake after fighting against Kenji, he didn't feel like he deserved to be a Hunting Dog anymore. He still puts so much importance on being a Hunting Dog, he still puts this group on a pedestal. Imagine how his heart will shatter once he realizes that their leader was the actual mastermind behind it all. I wonder how it will end: Will Tetcho quit the Hunting Dogs and find another way to bring justice? Or will he, as a Hunting Dog, decide to do the right thing and kill Fukuchi and the DOA? (Little fun fact: The real Tetcho Suehiro actually quit his job as a politician. So maybe Tetcho will quit the Hunting Dogs?? Idk. I still want to see him do cool stuff tho.)

We haven't gotten Tetcho's backstory yet (and I will cry if it stays that way), so all we can do is theorize about his past. I think it wouldn't be far-fetched to assume he comes from a samurai lineage (like the real Tetcho Suehiro) and that that's why he takes so much pride in his swordsmanship. Since pretty much everyone in Bungo Stray Dogs is an orphan, I wonder if his parents also died when he was young. It would explain why he never learned how to (properly) cook and just mixes stuff that has the same color instead. What if his parents were killed wrongfully and that's why justice is so important to him? The real Tetcho Suehiro ended up in prison two times because he fought for freedom and rights. What if Tetcho got recruited while in prison? I can definitely see little teen Tetcho trying to punish criminals and accidentally ending up in prison because of it. I'd love to hear your theories and comments!! 

I've spent like 6 hours on this, accidentally deleted the first 3 parts (multiple times) and had to write it all again and now my brain is all mushy. That's enough Tetcho for one day, even for the self-proclaimed biggest Tetcho fan.

[raiha-storm65557]

Snippet: The kings jester

I laid there, holding the book over my head using both arms. My note taking was as useful as ever, from jokes my king and his family liked to their habits and behaviour. I flipped through the pages, some having poems, some jokes, some drawings. The jester’s handbook they called it. It wasn't all that wrong, it received that nickname because I always had it with me, but it's more of a notebook, really. I stopped at one page, ah… the dogs! Once, I tested a theory on soothing this family. When one would get upset, I'd simply asked, would you like a dog? Truth be told I still do that with his majesty. I’ve given him dozens of my dogs by now. They are fiery creatures of my own design; he takes them to battle or executions. Sooner or later, one will have fallen and I'll replace it soon enough. But my kings second daughter didn't like them at all. The first time I asked her, she hadn't even seen them yet, but she looked horrified and insulted, I had to save myself by saying she was right, elegant cats fit her more than some bloodhounds. The king sat himself next to me, his hand rested next to my head, he must be in a good mood to not scold me for laying so carelessly. Yet again I am a jester, it is expected of me to be a fool. We joked and chatted. "A dog, my king?" I teased, offering one like a mere drink. "HA! I should just lock you up and take all of your dogs for myself right now!" he responded, smiling brightly, joy in his eyes. It only took a second for me to think and close my book, smiling. "You'll have to catch me first." I smirked and bolted out of the room, hearing him laugh. Soon enough he got up to go along with my silly game of tag.

---x---

I don't remember what had set me off but it wasn't him. This game of tag was no longer a game and it was not because of anything he or I had done. I ran, feeling how I trembled and shook. Down to the cells I went. They were a perfect hiding place.

Thick grey stone walls, metal doors with only a small slid as a way to look into the cells and even those could be closed. Total isolation. No one would want to go here. I knew how to open them from the inside, they had one flaw and no one but me knew of. Every door had at least one flaw. I noticed a figure following me and I bolted into the first free cell, hearing the door lock behind me. I squeezed my mouth shut using both of my hands, my whole from pressed together to be as small as I could be, huddled together against the door in hopes that if someone were to look in, I'd be in the dead spot of their vision. I felt my own breath against my fingers, quick and unsteady, was I hyperventilating? The sound of the slid opening filled my ears. I almost didn't dear glance up but when I did, I was meet with the kings’ eyes staring down at me. Those yellow-orange eyes that I'd learned to respect... He looked calm, he wasn't saying anything, did he know I was hiding? He already knew better than anyone that I could free myself from these, no any cells. He looked to his left and a spark of rage fill him. He looked down at me again in a way that said "don't worry about it" before closing the slid and leaving me by myself. I didn't dare move...

Tag list: @shesadollette I posted it, you happy now? Also @kaiflameheart since you like king stuff

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep13: Fair Trade

This is an episode that I actually don't think I'd ever seen from start to finish before this. I know I saw the beginning of it on a rerun at some point, but I got bored and didn't finish it. I can't say I blame myself, since it went pretty predictably, and I'm not a huge Neelix fan.

I can still appreciate Neelix when they give him good material, but I don't really feel that this was. Whenever Star Trek deals with anything concerning illicit drugs, it always ends up feeling like a preachy after school special. Of course narcotics are bad, the drug trade is bad, we already know. It's low hanging fruit for a show that's supposed to take on controversial topics, and I don't think I've ever seen them actually address it at any more than surface level- never anything about how hopeless conditions lead people to drug abuse, or the political forces that push them onto vulnerable populations. And this one is no different, it's just a long cautionary tale about the dangers of not telling the truth, all told through the lens of a very black and white sort of morality, that's predicated on a certain level of privilege on the part of both the Starfleet characters and the people who write them.

To have Neelix encounter his former criminal partner who tries to draw him into one last scheme may be a classic trope, but it feels a bit out of character. Neelix seems too squeaky clean at this point to have ever been involved in deliberately shady dealings. I suppose he did lie to Janeway and the crew to get them to help him rescue Kes in the pilot episode, but they were still basically strangers then, and he was always more of a 'lovably scrappy' type character than a hardened, morally grey criminal. By now, in season 3, he's so indoctrinated into Starfleet ways that I don't think it would even occur to him to do anything sneaky without asking the Captain and getting her permission first. Plus, if he'd been involved in smuggling schemes before, he'd know that 'one last job, what could go wrong' is always a precurser to the scheme going very wrong.

He could have and should have just told the truth from the beginning, and the crew probably would have done what they could to help. It's a valid idea to explore how he might have been feeling insecure and useless knowing they were leaving the part of space he knows, but I think it could have been a b-plot that didn't need so much screentime. Honestly it reminded me of an episode of Tangled: The Series, where Eugene encounters his old partner in crime and has to hide it from Rapunzel when he gets pulled into one last heist. Even characters from a Disney princess movie could figure out the importance of telling the truth and sticking to your newfound principals in half the time it took Neelix here.

Things I did enjoy in this one were the first introduction of adorable Vulcan engineering officer Ensign Vorik, and seeing Voyager's little supply room where they keep all their containers they use on missions. Between this and the last ep, where we saw the environmental control room for the first, and I think only, time, we're seeing more little nooks and crannies of the ship than we have in the past few seasons, and I really adore little things like that that fill out the world of the ship. I love knowing that they have to use certain containers for certain types of materials, and that the have to go look through the piles of them by hand like they're looking for the right lid in a messy tupperware cabinet, lol. (Part of me feels like that's a Voyager thing, too- like the Enterprise would have it all neatly organized, but the Voyager crew are all such a mess that they let their store room just get like that, and don't talk about it to the Captain in the hope she never notices.)

We get a nice scene with Tom leveling with Neelix about regretting his lack of honesty in his past, and another frustratingly oblique reference to Tom's totally-not-Nick-Locarno accident. I know they had to keep it legally distinct for copyright purposes, so they just avoided it all together by only talking about it in vague terms, but I do wish they'd have actually just settled on a different story and used it on the show. When I was a teenager, I read Jeri Taylor's novel with all the Voyager character's backstories, where she did actually explain what happened with Tom, and I think that should have been something that was explored on the show, at some point, since it was a huge deal for his character, and definitely informed how I thought of him when I watched the show after reading it. But alas, I can't think of a single episode where it was even mentioned, let alone given it's due, so we have to make do with crumbs like this.

Anyway, despite this episode being extremely formulaic, I did appreciate the very last scene, where Captain Janeway, despite being angry, tells Neelix he's part of a family now, and he has a responsibility to them all. She sends him to scrub exhaust conduits for a punishment, but Neelix couldn't be happier to hear from the Captain that he's an integral part of the Voyager family, and that she wouldn't even think of letting him go. It's a lovely moment, and makes me a little emotional to hear Janeway literally call the crew a family. I love my little Voyager space fam.

Tl;dr: A rather predictible storyline that feels like an after school special. Not one of my favorites, but has a few good moments, especially for anyone who likes Neelix a lot.

[just-some-castaways]

The Girl in My Head

Author: Nate

- So there's this girl, who lives in my head. I didn't ask for her, and she's not perfect or seductive or anything along those lines. Truth be told, she's far more akin to a close friend than some weird craving for female companionship.

It's funny, the way I chose to phrase that first line: "There's this girl, who lives in my head." Because I think that suggests that she's imaginary, and exists only in a perfect little dreamland.

That's simply not the case. Yes, I have worlds in my head. No, they're not perfect, more often than not they're far from it. Yes, my mind is what most people would call "hopelessly broken." I get that, I understand that to most people, the line between imaginary and reality is easily definable, and straightforward to navigate. Well, for me it's not.

So for the sake of stepping into someone else's shoes for a moment or two, just amuse me and imagine this girl is a part of the physical world, as tangible as you or I. (Said the boy from behind a screen)

This girl is sweet, and funny, and likes vanilla Chai-lattes with skim milk and a shot of espresso. She has a passion for digital art and loves to draw people, especially people she's met. Some of her favorite pass times are cross-country running, hiking, traveling, making and admiring art, and reading auto-biographies.

She's grew up in Italy before moving to Canada with her parents when she was 10. A couple times a year, she flies back to her home town to visit her extended family and friends. I think she gets homesick a lot, but she's never openly said so as far as I'm aware.

I don't remember how we met, or when, but we get along really well. She's one of those people who just makes you feel comfortable and safe, purely by being around her. Her sense of humor is a somewhat lacking, (she greatly dislikes puns which is a shame, cause I think they're pretty punny).

At one point, I had a crush on her that lasted several months. But we're not particularly complimentary of each other's traits so it died out a while ago. Now we're just close friends, content to look elsewhere for that "special someone." We've spent a lot of time just hiking in the woods, appreciating nature in silent awe, and occasionally passing back and forth obscure fun facts or talking about life.

Now that you know a bit more about her, and I've told you about various experiences we've shared, I'd like to point out that she's "completely imaginary," at least by most people's standards.

Let me tell you one more thing about this girl. She's a part of me. She embodies different aspects of myself, and my past. She's a fragment of me I couldn't hold in place, and as a result she grew into her own person. So yes, she is technically imaginary, but she's also real. I'm real, so why should you have a right to say that part of me that broke off isn't? That she can't exist simply because you can't see or talk to her, and she doesn't have a physical form.

When your friends aren't around by someone asks you what option they're prefer, or what their response might be to a certain opinion, you instinctively know at least close to what they might say right? Well who's to say your friends aren't just imaginary, because I can't see them right now can I? And yet you know things about them that you don't even have to think about to call to mind.

The girl in my head is real, because I'm real. Please don't invalidate those with such deep trauma that they break into fragments and can't be put back together. Try to respect each part of them as valid and worthy of respect. Show them the same kindness you'd show to anyone else who still has their mind in one piece.

-

Hello, my name is Nathanael, and I am part of the Castaways system. Thank you for reading my rambles, and please remember that just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it not true. Especially when it comes to walking in someone else's shoes.

[idk-ilike5sos]

Dear Will,

Before today, it'd been twenty-seven days since I wrote to you last. You’ve never received any of the letters and - as long as I don’t suddenly die before I get the chance to burn them all - you never will. But since eight am, I've already started and torn up five other first-letters-since. I thought it'd be easy to write down how I feel, let everything exist solely as ink on paper, but it's not. I'm learning recently, since you left, that I'm wrong about a lot of things.

This morning I got another letter from Eleven. It's probably the last one I'll get before seeing you both. It's still scary to think that, in a couple of days, we'll be face-to-face again. It's been so long.

One-hundred-and-ninety-two days, at the time I’m writing this. I wonder if it feels like it’s been that long to you.

But, anyway, in that letter, Eleven went over what she usually does: updates me on school, how she's adjusting so well without me, and she lets me know how you're all doing. Joyce likes her new job, Jonathan is stressed about college, and you're painting something you won't let her see.

She told me that you met some girl in California.

I bet she's pretty. She's got the nicest eyes you've ever seen, and you paint them all the time. You've memorized every shape of her face from how much you draw her. She probably has a nice laugh, but you'd tell her it's cute even if she didn't. Everyone loves her and always talks about how kind she is. She's at the top of all her classes. I bet she's popular and a cheerleader or some cliche-equivalent.

I hope she has dark, shoulder-length hair. I hope she has ugly brown eyes. I hope she has a lot of freckles. And I hope she's got "strong cheekbones", as my mom likes to call them. I hope she looks like me.

I know she doesn't. She's probably the complete opposite, which is what hurts even more. Not only do you not like me because I'm a boy, but because of every single little thing about me.

I was in shock when I found out Eleven liked me - because, I mean, it's El, you know?

She's awesome, and I know that. At first, I thought I’d somehow won at life, because I found this incredible girl and everyone kept bringing up how enamoured I was with her. So, I kissed her - and she didn’t even seem disgusted or anything! A little surprised, but not bad surprised, you know?

Then it got even better, because it turned out she liked me back. Isn’t that insane? A girl liked ME. It’s still hard to believe now. Sometimes, I feel like she’s lying every time she signs her letters with “love”.

In the end, I fucked it up anyway. It all started with a lie and I got so caught up in it that I was too scared to start telling the truth. And, contrary to popular belief, the lie that ruined our relationship wasn’t that my nana got sick. It’s that her feelings grew, but mine dissipated because it turns out they were never really there.

So this is me finally telling the truth, even if no one ever gets to hear it.

And the truth is I miss you. I miss us.

When you left, I kept telling myself you'd come back. At night, I'd hold back tears, whispering to myself that you're gonna come back one day. You'll be in Hawkins again, on that old ass couch in my basement - the one only a couple of feet away from me right now. We'd both look a lot older than we did the last time we were here, maybe even older than we do now, but at some point, we'd be back. We'd be as close as we used to be. It'd be like nothing ever changed. And the worst part is, I really believed it would all happen.

But it won't. You're not coming back. You might visit a few times, but eventually, our zero-contact thing will get tiring for you. You'll find a new Party, a better one. And this girl you like is going to be a part of it - because she's perfect, so obviously she loves all the things you love. She loves all the things that we love, that used to be ours.

I'm not angry. I'm trying not to be angry.

It's not easy.

I want you here. I want you with me. I don't want you with that stupid girl.

I hate her. I hate her so much.

Why am I not good enough?

Please, just tell me. I'd do anything to change. I'll be kinder. I'll be smarter. I'll be funnier. I'll give in to Lucas' ideals of popularity. I don't care what. All of it would be worth it.

And if I’m unveiling the truth, I might as well unveil it all. I like you. This letter has probably made that obvious already, but I had to add it. I think I’ve liked you for forever, even if I didn’t realise. Or maybe I didn’t and one day, everything changed. I don't know. Either way, I exist today with that truth. I like you. I like you and not Eleven.

I need you, Will. Even if it’s just as friends, I need you in my life.

I’m really glad you’re not reading this because I sound pathetic. And that’s because I am. I’m a stupid pathetic mess. The basement's a shit hole. My room’s even worse. My grades suck. I never see Dustin, Lucas, or Max outside of school, but I somehow see my family even less. So, I’m more than pathetic. I’m alone. And it’s my own fault.

I think California's been good for you. It got you away from Hawkins. It got you away from me. And it brought you to your dream girl. She must be pretty special. She's lucky. And if it turns out she somehow doesn't like you back, that's on her. She must've lost her mind or never had one in the first place.

If you ever need to talk about it, have a 2,000-mile-away-shoulder to cry on, I'm always waiting by the phone...

Love, Mike