#trying to cope

[raghhhhhyperfixations]

Not a hallucination

Jason todd Post

So we all know that Bruce and Dick had hallucinations of Jason after he died right? It being canon or fanon either way, well i present to you the short time Jason was dead, he was a little ghost spirit and cue: they weren’t actually hallucinations, it was just his ghost spirit being a menace.

And haunting them:

-

Dick is upset with Bruce, they were arguing and since Jason’s death he’s had nothing shouting matches with his father, he didn’t even think a new robin was a good idea and watch him be right (he had come to love Jason as a little brother anyway)

He’s not sure about continuing nightwing.

Staring at the mirror with dark eye circles he hides and a chewed lip.

“God that mullet still looks awful.”

He hears from behind him and he swivels around to find a very transparent dead Jason Todd staring at him, he does nothing but take a shaky inhale because what?

“Jason.” Dick mutters weak.

“You heard me.” Jason huffs out, sat on the bathtub, arms crossed. “Aren’chu gonna cut it?”

Dick looks back to the mirror and then a pair of scissors he keeps nearby and maybe it’s not a good idea to listen to a hallucination which is telling him to grab something sharp.

But he does and he ends up cutting his hair as short as possible and it ends up curling again around his face like it did when he was robin and when he looks back the mini-Jason is gone, his breath is even shakier but-

(A part of him feels like he’s let something go.)

-

“Dad.”

“Dad.”

“Daaaaad.”

“Daaaaaaaaaaaad.”

And Bruce is trying to ignore what he’s sure is this ghostly slight of Jason in full armoured robin suit right before he died, his smile adorning his face as he pokes at the suit, his eyebrows furrow under the cowl staring at the newest case, pin- pointing all the dots together and-

“Dad!”

And.

“Dad!”

And…

“Dad why won’t you listen to me?!”

Bruce’s shoulders tense together, his head snaps to where the ghost is and his jaw tenses but when he looks nothing is there, when he looks back at the case, the monitor screen is turned off and he’s reminded his cup of coffee (his third cup?) has gone cold and perhaps it’s time to go to bed.

He stands up and pushes the chair back, ignoring the feeling of eyes on him (they were in fact very real.)

-

“Hmm now where did i…”

And when Alfred turns around he can suddenly find the missing pasta batter for tonights dinner, yes there is a large percent it will go untouched but it’s nice.

He gives a silent smile in understanding.

and a silent.

“Thank you master Jason.”

-

Sometimes at night Bruce swears to himself he can feel a silent weight pressing against his side, a young child.

This is a better hallucination, it’s a better one then Jason screaming at him, blood dripping down the side of his face, his head beat in, his teeth crooked and his eye halfway closed with burn marks creeping down his side, screaming he did nothing to save him.

That he was useless.

It’s a better option.

He presses his hand around the weight and snuggles in, it gets him to sleep easy and maybe he can hear silent snickering like Jason has just snuck in and hidden something in his room, a rubber duck? A small bat? Or maybe the cuddle, the idea of Bruce cuddling back is funny.

He loves his sons.

He just doesn’t know how to communicate that.

-

When Dick is lonely and crying hard, so hard his throat is sore and he’s bitten into his tongue hard enough to draw blood he might see his little brother, whose hands reach out for him.

He reaches back and sobs into the robin suit begging for forgiveness, he begs until he has no tears left and until he feels absolutely numb and dry and his hands are shaking so hard they could hurt him.

But he doesn’t deserve forgiveness.

Dick knows this, his little brother was dead because of him and he knew this.

-

When Tim becomes robin the ghost disappears but that doesn’t mean the hallucinations stop, they push themselves to believe the wavy haired boy is tim, it’s unhealthy and perhaps Jason’s Ghost is frowning upon them. (He does, he is one last time before his resurrection.)

-

“Jason, jason i’m so sorry.” Dick sobs, remorse.

Timothy, new to robin but not new to their grief just lets himself be held by dick for a few moments, his hands are awkward not wanting to hold Dick back because he’s not actually his brother.

Tears seep into his hair.

-

“Jason- i mean, tim, careful.” Bruce’s voice comes out on the com.

Tim bites on his cheek.

-

“Going to bed already ja-tim?”

Tim just lets out a little hum in return for Bruce.

-

“Jaso…tim, wanna go batburger?”

“sure.” His response was.

-

“Jason.”

Tim waits for Bruce to correct himself, he doesn’t this time.

-

A repeated cycle that didn’t exactly end until red hood or Jason’s return, even then Bruce was still remorseful.

(Eventually Tim found his place in the family but there are some days where two souls find themselves regretting.)

A ghost and a person who became a Ghost of themself.

(Guys i promise i actually do know how tim became robin STOOOP)

[sacr1ficialang3l]

I WISH I WAS SPECIAL *pulling all of my hair out*

SO FUCKING SPECIAL *clawing at my skin*

[ohithankyou]

…….at least buck has tommy…..at least buck has a partner by his side……

[achilleanauthor]

Okay, but the real character arc is Blitz 'The FUCK is insurance?' Buckzo getting his office insured

[i-like-red-star-burst-b3]

So everything kinda sucks rn

[iamchaos1234]

Sorry gang got distracted-

[shincbu]

my ramy and robin ….

[valorianknights]

Just saw the Till Vs Luka round and AUGH😭

So, I might do some art for a TBHK Alien Stage au to help me cope.

Reality is whatever I want it to be 🥺

Mizisua = Aoinene (Doomed Yuri)

IvanTill = Mitsukou (Doomed Yaoi)

MiziTill = Kounene ( Doomed Hetero)

(Literally no ship wins 😭 BUT THAT WON'T STOP MY DELUSIONS)

Hyuna = Hanako

Hyunwoo = Tsukasa

Luka = The Entity ( Fake Tsukasa)

Dewey = Teru

Isaac = Akane

[dersandmannkommt]

!! tw: ocd !!

new contamination trigger!!!!! woohoo! guess what it is?!?!

showering. yes. showering. y'know, the thing that makes you clean?...had a panic attack in the shower not even 20 minutes ago because if the water if touching me, then it's also touching potential germs and viruses and rashes, and the water will spread to non-contaminated parts of me, and spread it there, and so on. ive convinced myself that i somehow have mrsa??? i know that in less than a week, i'll be okay again, but ocd is ocd. writing these out actually help a lot; reminds me that even though my fears are valid and justified, obsessing the way i do is a bit silly.

if you have ocd, and youre still reading, heres a coping tip (this works for all ocd's btw) (currently the only thing keeping me from running to urgent care "just to be sure"). let's say theres a spot on your arm, dont tell yourself that "its not (fill in the blank), its not ____, its not ____, its nothing contagious!!" because youre only feeding into the fear. instead, imagine the worst case scenario head on. you have to. otherwise you'll just be running from the fears you obsess over for the rest of your life.

you have to imagine the worst case scenario, and then walk yourself through it all working out. like, i also have a fear of cars. ever since i was a kid, i would imagine them flipping over, me getting impaled by whatever i was holding, flying out the window, getting crushed, ect, the only reason i can even get into a car is because i imagine the worst case, and then picture everything working out. the car flipped over? im okay, a trip to the hospital and im home within a few days. or what about something like pink eye? worst case, i get it in both eyes. does that suck? yeah. is it scary? yeah. BUT people get pink eye, and then they. get. better. they wash their hands after touching their eyes, wash their pillow case, put some eye drops in, and move on with their life. i have to be able to do that. i have to be able to continue living.

so yeah, i was afraid to shower. but i did. i dont think i have mrsa. but even if i do, the sun stays warm, the earth spins, and it will heal and go away. if i have it, i will live as i did last week, but be a bit more careful, and change the bandaid out. i will have to contintue to live. just as everyone else.

if you're still reading this, and you have ocd, you'll be okay. stop getting stuck in your head, you know your brain is a little off, thats not good, but it is okay. you're okay. the earth still spins, the moon still rises. if all is not well, dont panic, because all will be well.

[ventiisactuallybarbatos]

Till forgot to thank Beyonce

[yasentishyshiy]

Look out for me

[painfullyneurotic]

Wowoeoeoeowowo triangle in void

[ghysry]

I can't keep being mad at s4. So it's out of my mind now. I will write a new season 4 in my head. Five gets a dog. Names it Mr. Pennycrumb. Happily ever after!

[floral-atom-collective]

101% shshsh (people were just really excited about the end)

pffftt

[bellcza]

is this our offside karma

[guiltymepleasures]

Oh? I missed this the first time.

It seems Tae Sung and In Hyuk were familiar enough with each other for Tae Sung to call him by his name and assume he would introduce models to him.