#ugh i ship the hell outta them

[nevadancitizen]

-> CH. 2: LIKE A MOUSE IN A HOUSE FULL OF CATS

synopsis: it's your first time deviant hunting with hank and connor. and gavin is an asshole – obviously.

word count: 3.4k

ships: Connor/Reader, Hank Anderson & Reader

notes: next chapter will have more one-on-one time with connor and original scenes i promissseee <33

HoFS taglist: @catladyhere (if you'd like to be added to the taglist, just ask!)

HEAD OF FALSE SECURITY MASTERLIST

As soon as you shut off the ignition, Hank turns to Connor in the backseat. “You – stay here.” He points at you. “And you – if you’re gonna vomit, don’t do it on my shoes.”

“Whatever you say, boss.”  You hop out of the driver’s seat, and Hank follows suit.

News reporters and concerned neighbors are swarming behind the digital yellow line that reads POLICE LINE: DO NOT CROSS. As you pass, you’re bombarded by “News Channel Five –” “Joss Douglas, for Channel Sixteen –” “Gordon Skalfe from DJE News –” “Can you confirm this is a homicide?” “Siobahn Gonzalez for SKE News –” “Is it true that an android was involved?” 

You just duck your head and wave them off, mumbling “No questions, no questions.”

Once you cross the yellow line, you hear a car door open and close behind you. You glance back and see Connor maneuvering his way through the small crowd and fight the urge to roll your eyes. Aren’t androids supposed to do as they’re told…?

A police-assistant android is standing behind the line and stops Connor when he tries to pass. “Androids are not permitted beyond this point.”

“Connor’s with me and Lieutenant Anderson,” you call over your shoulder. When you look forward, Hank’s looking at you. You shrug in response, unsure.

He looks over your shoulder at Connor. “What part of ‘stay in the car’ didn’t you understand?”

“Your order contradicted my instructions, Lieutenant,” Connor says, still with that lost puppy dog look on his face.

Hank just grits his teeth and deals with it. “You don’t talk, you don’t touch anything, and you stay outta our way. Got it?”

“Got it!” Connor chirps. 

You huff out a quiet laugh at his kinda-sorta enthusiasm, but it’s immediately silenced when you walk into the house. It reeks like hell, and is way past the sickly-sweet smell of death – it’s just straight pig shit in there.

Chris laughs, holding an N95 mask out to you. “You good?”

“Expected it like one would expect thunder in the clear sky.” You hold up a hand, turning the mask down. “That is to say: I did not.”

Chris smiles, shaking his head and tucking the mask back into his jacket. “You’ve got a way with words, you do.”

“Leave me be.” You smile and wave him away. 

Instead, you turn to observe the crime scene. You’ve been on homicide scenes before, but never like this. A man’s corpse is propped up against the far wall of the living room, fat and bloated and half-decayed. Blood streaks the wall behind him, both in an organic fashion and in precise lettering: I AM ALIVE. 

You half-listen to the debriefing: Carlos Ortiz, been here about three weeks, a kitchen knife, possible android involvement. It’s a puzzle that you don’t have the right experience to solve.

When you look over at the knife, Connor’s kneeling over it. His LED flickers, then he reaches down, swabbing blood with his two first fingers. He brings it to his mouth, and –

“Стой! Wait –!” 

You cringe and bring a balled-up fist to your forehead. A low groan escapes your throat and you can do nothing but watch as Connor licks his fingers.

“Ugh, Jesus!” Hank sighs. “What the hell are you doing?!” 

“I’m analyzing the blood.” Connor holds up his bloody fingers. “I can check samples in real time.”

He turns to you, still with blood on his fingers. “I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you both.”

You drag your hand down your face. “Just give us enough time to look away when you do it next.”

“No, actually,” Hank says. “Don’t put any more evidence in your mouth. Got it?”

“Got it.” Connor looks down at his fingers, his LED flickering as he analyzes the blood. Then, he nods to himself, as if confirming something.

“Christ, this goddamn android…” you mutter to yourself.

You try to busy yourself with looking away from the body, and getting away from the smell. You walk down the hall leading to the bathroom. As you walk, you notice something just barely sticking to the bottom of your shoes. 

When you look down, you expect blood, but there’s nothing there. Unless…?

You hold out your left hand, your thumb and index extended, and close your right eye. With your polymer retina active, the world turns into monochrome-blues. Your eyes turn to the floor, where speckles of mystery liquid lead to the end of the hall. (And you really hope it isn’t semen.)

You relax your hand and open your right eye. Sure enough, there’s nothing there to your naked eye.

You turn into the living room and call out “Connor! I need you to look at something for me.”

He turns the corner, raising an eyebrow when he sees you and an empty hall. “Yes, Officer? What do you need me to look at?”

You step to the side so that you’re not standing on the mystery liquid. “There’s something on the floor. I can’t identify it, and I can only pick it up with my polymer retina.”

Connor crouches and looks at the floor. “Yes. There’s Thirium here.”

“Thirium?” You echo. “Like, android blood?”

“Yes.” He smiles a bit, like he’s impressed. “Good work, Officer.”

You turn and scratch your cheek, huffing a little through your nose. “I’ve just been on a few cases like this before, that’s all. You’re acting like you’re in the seventh skies about it.”

“To say that I am would be to imply I’m able to feel excitement,” Connor says. “I am not.”

You furrow your eyebrows as your suspension of disbelief is shattered. The belief that Connor wasn’t an unfeeling robot – just a regular guy with that somewhat-cute, somewhat-maddening lost look. Maybe a bit clueless when it comes to social cues, sure, but really endearing when he does miss them.

“Right.” You draw your lips into a thin line. “Then, uh… just go back to whatever you were doing.”

“I’m nearly done figuring out what happened. I’d like you to be there to confirm.” Connor stands, then walks back into the living room without waiting for you.

You follow him, then prop yourself up in a corner to watch Connor conduct his business. He moves about the crime scene like a well-seasoned professional, rattling off his theory like he was there when the killing occurred. Once he’s done, he turns to Hank, as if waiting for approval.

Hank’s chin dips as he shrugs with his arms crossed. “Seems plausible. Doesn’t mean that we know why the android defended itself, though.”

“It could be from emotional shock,” you say, surveying the kitchen. “Or, the hit from the bat could’ve disrupted the biocomponents in a way that was just so, so that deviancy was…” you shrug. “Activated? Unlocked? I don’t know how to describe it.”

“A plausible theory,” Connor says. 

“We’re havin’ a nice time talkin’, but where the hell did the android go?” Hank mutters, eyes flitting around the house.

“I have an idea.” Connor’s gaze turns to the ground, then he starts to follow the invisible Thirium trail. 

Hank moves so that he’s standing next to you. “Where the hell is it going?”

“Following a trail of blue blood,” you say.

He looks over at you and scoffs lightly. “How do you know that?”

You smile and hold up your left hand – the one with your polymer glove. The star retracts, exposing the wires that slither out and move with minds of their own. 

Hank makes a sound of disgust, turning away. “Put that thing away.”

“Yes, sir.” You chuckle lightly and close your fist, causing the wires to go back.

When you turn back to the kitchen, Connor’s come back and picked up a chair. He starts to walk away, but Hank stops him.

“Hey-hey-hey!” Hank says. “What’re you doin’ with that chair?”

Connor looks over at Hank, then continues walking. “I’m going to check something.”

“Huh…” Hank turns to you and gestures at where Connor disappeared around the corner. “Gonna check something.”

You smile lightly. “The attic, for ghosts.” 

Hank huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “Yeah, because Detroit has a ghost problem.”

“Maybe it does!” You laugh. “You never –”

Both you and Hank’s heads snap up as something clunks above you. There’s footsteps – two sets of them. You exchange a look with Hank and both set off to the attic opening.

“Connor!” Hank calls. “What the fuck is goin’ on up there?”

Silence for a moment. Your breath stills in your lungs.

Then, Connor: “It’s here, Lieutenant!”

“Holy shit.” Hank looks at you, then behind him. “Chris, Ben – get your asses over here now! C’mon!”

The cold of the observation room is only accentuated by the hot coffee in your hands, but you honestly think you’d fall asleep without it.

You can feel Gavin’s hard stare switching between drilling into the back of your skull and looking into the interrogation room. You’re just sitting at the desk, taking notes – which, so far, is as follows: No response to question. No response to question. Interrogator (Lt. Hank Anderson) showing signs of frustration. No response to physical aggression. No response to question.

You look up just as soon as Hank calls it quits and storms out of the interrogation room. He buzzes into the observation room, his footfalls heavy and frustrated.

“We’re wastin’ our time interrogating a machine – we’re gettin’ nothing outta it!” He practically shoves himself into the chair beside you.

“Could always send pinko here to rough it up a little.” Gavin tilts his head, looking over at you. “After all, it’s not human. And I doubt they would have an issue taking a hammer and sickle to the android.”

You sigh and set your data pad down with more force than necessary. “I’m not a sadist, Reed. And even if I was, I wouldn’t take it out on a suspect.”

“Additionally, androids don’t feel pain,” Connor chimes in. “You would only damage it, and that wouldn’t make it talk. Deviants also have a tendency to self-destruct when in stressful situations –”

“Okay, smartass,” Gavin cuts him off. “What should we do, then?”

Connor blinks, his eyes flitting between you, Hank, and Chris. It’s almost like he’s nervous to suggest that “I could try questioning it.”

Gavin laughs that asshole-ish laugh. You look over at Hank. He’s already looking at you. You glance back at Connor and shrug.

Hank sighs. “What do we have to lose?” He looks back at Connor. “Go ahead. Suspect’s all yours.”

Connor peels back the artificial skin on his hand, revealing porcelain-white plastic, and presses it to the biometric scanner, then steps through the door. 

You shudder. “That always creeps me out.”

Chris mutters under his breath in agreement.

You lean back in your chair and ready your data pad as Connor enters the interrogation room. He sits across from the deviant, then leans forward as he analyzes him. 

You lean over towards Hank and mutter, “Is someone taping this?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles back. “Why?”

“He has a tendency to talk quickly.” You glance down at your data pad, then back up at Connor. “I’m worried he’ll talk too fast for me to record.”

“Didn’t realize the DPD’s turning officers into stenographers,” Gavin says under his breath.

You don’t look back at him as you speak. “I heard that.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure your wire heard it, too.”

Hank holds up a hand. “That’s enough.”

You look forward through the double-sided mirror into the interrogation room. Your hands are ready, resting on the digital keyboard of your data pad. 

“I detect an instability in your program,” Connor says. “It can trigger an unpleasant feeling, like fear in humans.”

Connor leans forward, trying to look at the deviant, whose eyes remain firmly on the table. You record in your data pad: Switching interrogators. New interrogator is Connor (android, model RK800). No response to question about deviancy-induced fear.

Connor’s eyes flit down to the android’s arms. One of them is split open, exposing bent plastic and sparking wires. The other is littered with dozens of cigarette burns.

“You’re damaged.” Connor’s voice is turning a little colder. “Did your owner do that? Did he beat you?”

Again, no response. You record: No response to question about injuries/damage.

“You’re accused of murder,” Connor says, his voice turning colder still. “You know you’re not allowed to endanger human life under any circumstances. Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

You record: No response to pressure with blame.

Connor shifts in his seat, like he’s frustrated. You feel for him. It’s like talking to a brick wall in there.

He leans forward, his jaw set as he stares at the android. “If you don’t talk, I’m going to have to probe your memory.”

“No!” The deviant immediately barks, his head snapping up to look at Connor. “No, please don’t do that.”

You exchange a glance with Hank, then look back into the interrogation room. When you do, it’s like the android is looking through the double-sided mirror at you. His lips are parted, his expression shocked and pained. Dried blood paints his face but, in the harsh fluorescent light, it looks wet and fresh.

You find it hard to record. You just want to watch the interrogation, be fully immersed in it. But, still: Verbal and physical response to threat to probe memory. Shows fear – possible C-PTSD.

He shakes a little as he turns back to Connor. He can’t meet Connor’s gaze.

“Wh… what’re they gonna do to me?” His voice is soft and fearful. “They’re gonna destroy me, aren’t they?”

Connor doesn’t skip a beat, his voice and expression neutral and indifferent. “They’re going to disassemble you and look for problems in your biocomponents. They have no choice if they want to understand what happened.”

The android’s eyebrows crease. “Why did you tell them you found me? Why couldn’t you just have left me there…?”

You record: Continuation of expression of fear. Possibly trying to make Connor sympathize.

“I was programmed to hunt deviants like you,” Connor says evenly. “I just accomplished my mission.”

The deviant clenches his hands into fists, then relaxes them. He looks down at the table, then up at Connor. “I don’t wanna die.”

You record: Self-soothing with repetitive actions. Expresses fear of death.

Connor leans forward, his voice stern yet… somewhat understanding as he speaks. “Then talk to me.”

“I…” The android’s voice shakes. He squeezes his eyes shut, hunching over and closing in on himself. “I can’t.”

Connor blinks. Once, twice.

Then, he hits the table with his fist and barks out “You’re a machine. You were designed to obey, so obey!”

The deviant flinches – a response you record. Androids aren’t supposed to have any response to loud noises.

“Tell me what happened,” Connor says. 

After a few seconds, it’s clear he’s not getting through. He changes his approach so that he’s quieter, more emotional with his facial expressions.

“Listen,” he says softly. “I’m not judging you. I’m on your side. All I want is the truth.”

You record: Connor changes tactics. Before – hard, demanding. Now – more expressive, softer. Possibly manipulating suspect to extract confession.

He reaches across the table, his hand just barely shy of touching the deviant’s. “Confess and I’ll protect you. I promise, I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

The android’s voice is soft but sure as he speaks. “He… he tortured me every day. I did whatever he told me, but – but there was always something wrong.”

Connor gives an encouraging nod.

“A-and then one day…” his voice shakes. “He took a bat, and started hitting me. Over, and over. For the first time I felt…”

His shoulders tense. “Scared. Scared he might destroy me, scared I might die. So I… I grabbed the knife, and I stabbed him in the stomach.”

Connor continues staring. A silent motivation for the deviant to continue talking.

“I felt better,” he says. “So I stabbed him again, and again. Until he collapsed. There was blood everywhere…”

You look down at your data pad and start writing, partially tuning out the rest of the interrogation. You had what you needed. You record: Confession successfully extracted by Connor. Hypothesis confirmed – deviancy triggered by physical violence. Follow-up on related cases.

Connor’s voice causes your head to snap up and look into the interrogation room. “When did you start feeling emotion?”

The deviant’s lips tremble before he speaks. “Before, he used to beat me and I never said anything. But one day I…”

He shakes his head. “I realized it wasn’t fair!” He spits out the word like it causes a foul taste on his tongue.

“I felt… anger.” His jaw clenches. “Hatred… And then I knew what I had to do.”

Connor moves away from the deviant and turns to look into the double-sided mirror. “I’m done.”

“Well, shit.” Chris leans back in his chair. “Look at that.”

He stands and presses his hand to the biometric scanner, then enters the interrogation room. Gavin, then Hank, then you filter in after. You stick close to the door, as you’re only armed with a data pad and your wits. (You’re a cybersecurity officer – of course they wouldn’t give you a gun.)

Gavin passes by Connor, sneering at him. He turns to the deviant. “Chris, lock it up.”

Chris moves over to the android. He unclips a key from his tac belt and unlocks the android’s handcuffs from the table. Chris takes his arm, and –

“Leave me alone!” His voice trembles as he speaks. He presses his arms closer to his body. “Don’t touch me.”

“The fuck are you doing?” Gavin snaps at the deviant. “Move it!”

“Hey, c’mon now,” Chris says, continuing to try to force the android out of his seat. “Don’t be difficult – it’ll only make things harder.”

“No, don’t touch me!” He cries, cowering away from Chris.

You look over at Hank while Chris continues to struggle. You whisper, “Hank?”

He turns his head towards you, but doesn’t take his eyes off what’s happening in front of him. He holds a hand out towards you, as if telling you to not intervene. 

“You shouldn’t touch it,” Connor cuts in. “It’ll self-destruct if it feels threatened.”

“Stay outta this, got it?” Gavin snaps. “No fuckin’ android is gonna tell me what to do!”

“Connor’s right,” you say. “I want this one alive. A corpse is of no use to me, or the rest of the department.”

“It wouldn’t be a corpse! It would be scrap metal!” Gavin says. “And it’s not alive – so just shut your fuckin’ mouth, both of you!”

He turns to Chris. “You gonna move this asshole or what?”

Chris is still struggling to pull the android out of the chair, or literally in any other way. “I’m trying!”

“I can’t let you do that!” Connor storms over, tugging Chris off the deviant. He almost looks… angry. “Leave it alone, now!”

Chris stumbles back, and Gavin draws his gun and steps forward to take his place. 

“I warned you, motherfucker!” He growls out.

You balk. “Gavin!”

Hank cuts through the room with “That’s enough!”

Gavin’s jaw clenches. He glances over at Hank, then back to Connor, who is staring, unshaken, down the barrel. 

“Mind your own business, Hank,” he says lowly. 

“I said –” Hank pulls his own gun, keeping Gavin in his sights “– that’s enough.”

Gavin’s eyes flit between Hank, Connor, and Chris, but they settle on you. You, who’s standing quietly in the corner, clutching your data pad to your chest. (Christ, leaving Chelomey was a mistake…)

“Fuck…” he mutters under his breath. He holsters his gun, turning to leave. “Fuck!”

You step out of the way as Gavin storms out. You look over your shoulder, watching as the door shuts behind him. 

When you turn back, Connor’s kneeling by the deviant, a calming hand extended. 

“Everything is alright,” he says. It’s the most compassionate you’ve heard him. “It’s over now. Nobody is gonna hurt you.”

He looks up at Connor, his LED flickering between yellow and red. Eventually, his LED settles on yellow, and he nods slowly. 

Connor stands and turns to Chris. “Please, don’t touch it. Let it follow you out of the room, and it won’t cause you any trouble.”

The deviant stands slowly, a bit wobbly on his feet. When he passes Connor, he whispers something you can’t quite hear – but his LED turns blue, as does Connor’s. You hope it’s helpful. 

You watch as Chris leads the android out of the interrogation room and sigh. Your fingers drum against the back of your data pad in an unsteady rhythm. 

“Well.” You look down at your notes. “This will make for a fun report.”

[candycoffinss]

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚ HOLD THE SCREAMS, THE LIGHTS ARE TURNING LOW . . .

↳ ❝ [A GNASHING FEVER DREAM OF A HAUNTING PICTURE SHOW ] ¡! ❞

INFO UNDER THE CUT!

Well well well well well! Look at this updated bio! Let's get this shit started, shall we?

Hi! I'm Dew, the owner of this... Hellhole blog. If you'd consider it that. I'm kind of a mess when it comes to here. But hey!

He/him pronouns, but he/she SOMETIMES works too, just not preferred! I'm gay as all hell and genderfluid, so YEAH. Transmasc...

INTERESTS ! | ❥ | ~ Saw films, FNAF, Scream, any horror media, Smiling Friends, Santa Clarita Diet (thanks a lot to my homie for getting me addicted to this...), Dexter, Gravity Falls... Anything fucked up, weird, or that's just goofy is something I like. Also anything with Matthew Lillard. I want to bite him so bad it's uncanny.

DNI ! | ❥ | ~ Listen, I don't give a fuck much, but I fucking despise how I've gotten fucking weird ass interactions from people so, it pisses me the fuck off. Just... Don't be weird. Please. Honestly I mostly don't give a solid fuck, but you know. Homophobic, transphobic... You get allat. proshippers get outta here too ugh (Also just don't be weird about ships if you're not a selfshipper dude. You can have limits or preferences, but seriously... Don't go around whining or attacking people for shipping with the same character you do. Or other things such as canonical ships. You know who you are.... )

Alright, let's get some extra shit down. I'm an adult. I'm not gonna be discussing weird shit w/ minors, and if I see an ask that is nsfw implying or whatnot from someone that is a minor / no age in bio then I WILL delete it. This also includes trying to say things ab my ocs, yadda yadda. Got a problem with that? Block me. You can call them cute or pretty, I really don't give a fuck. Just don't go around like "omg i want him to fuck me omgomg...!!~~!!!" then like, go,... shoo.

OH tags... We're upgrading them!!

|⚰️| ~ 𝑪𝑶𝑭𝑭𝑰𝑵 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑺! ~ I yap here. YAPYAPYAP.

|🍬| ~ 𝑫𝑬𝑾 𝑫𝑹𝑨𝑾𝑺 ! ~ I draw... That's it. :P

|🎸🍬| ~ 𝑹𝑶𝑪𝑲 𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑫𝒀! ♡ ~ MY BELOVED OC X CANON SHIP I am too in love w them rn so they get their own tag!!! :]

AH yes, I also have other blogs, most rp based!

@screamingqueenxoxo ~ MY SAW OC BLOG!!! She is my BABY and I'm sure you'll see a lot of her on here as well!! <33

@photographerstanheight ~ Adam Stanheight!! My little guy!

@jigsawkillings ~ This isn't as active, but John Kramer! hooray!

@trimalchiooframshackle ~ NOT active, but my ramshackle oc blog :]

[himbo-in-limbo]

I get that but honestly I love the idea of being poly, but Bons and Monty are trying so hard to show me that they’re better. Bonnie leaves me limping? Monty leaves me unable to walk.

Monty gives me hickeys? Bonnie gives me small scars.

And then there’s Freddy who I don’t think would be big on the idea. He’s already pretty vanilla imo (Aside from Praise and Degradation) so he just takes you shirt off, looks at you, looks at all the bites and scratches, and just is like “Superstar… did you get mauled by a wolf or-“

And do not get me started on the idea of those two (Bonnie and Monty) doing it at the same time.

But they better also give me some good aftercare. Idk if I’ve mentioned this but as kinky as I can be, I am a pillow price/princess/enby (Depending on the day yk).

Anyway long story short I want to have Bonnie, Freddy, or Monty to cuddle me after banging my brains out.

-🐦‍⬛

TW RAUNCHY N SPICY TOPICS!! KIDDIES KEEP SCROLLING OR ILL BLOCK YOU 🔥

DAWG

Don’t even get me started on poly ships cuz OOF (I decided to draw my more anthro vers for dis)

I have thought (and still do) think about how fuckin wholesome (and hot) it’d be in a poly relationship with fronnie

Those two would be the aftercare kings like they’ll do you raw and yeah sure you probably wouldn’t be able to walk the next day but

You don’t needa lift a finger. They got chu, they’ll pamper the hell outta ya and give you sweet kisses n stuff 😩❤️ Freddie will apologize sm if he left you any bruises n stuff (meanwhile Bonnie just kisses em while giving you a wink) like ugh just imagine waking up in the morning seeing these two bring u breakfast in bed n ughhfcgjgxcbnm,,…

-ahem-

Anyways the concept of Monty n Bonnie as a duo sounds…interesting

Your a toy for them I’d wager LMAO we know Bonnie would be a bit more gentle than Monty for sure but he can still get competitive…

I honestly don’t think Monty is any good at aftercare but If Bonnie’s there he’d def nag him to grab you anything you need 😭 he’ll grumble about it but he’d cuddle you post and after sexy time but he’s pretty lazy.

Monty can’t be held down forever like bros to strong. The way he’d pin you down so fast (also that leash as a belt thing is such a big brain thing omg) very hot, he’d be so annoying with his cocky comebacks 🙄

But yes Freddy they were mauled by a gator 😭 n it was hot ngl

[thecluelessdoctor]

It's rambling time

*CRAWLS OUTTA WELL WITH A COMEDICALLY LARGE BACKPACK FULL OF NOTES*

I love totk. Don't get me wrong. I love it. But HOLY HELL TO I WANNA STRANGLE WHO EVER THOUGHT 'HEY MAN LETS GET RID OF ALL THE SHEIKAH TECH OTHER THAN LIKE- TWO GUARDIANS' LIKE EXSQUEEZE ME?? MY BABIESSSS/HJ

But on a serious note, I hate the fact how not only Zelda's character development go backwards, it forced a very black and white view on Hyrule. Rauru and kingdom of Hyrule good, Ganondorf bad. Like. What??? EXSQUEEZE ME.

Okz sure, Ganondorf did murder Sonia and steal a secret stone, and attack Hyrule, but like. Let's just- also note this. If the gerudo have a similar story to the sheikah, the kingdom of Hyrule, aka Rauru forced their hand into surrender.

Though I do like the 'keep your loved ones close and your enemies closer' trope (waiting for the ship art/j)

Let me note here, I am rather young, and Botw is what introduced me into LOZ. So. I still have a lot to learn. Anyway! On ward! (Also warning spoilers for TOTK jsndhdbdbdbd)

*sits down on a grassy patch, unpacking bag*

So!! Oh brother where to I start. Let's start with Zelda first because oh my hylia does it hurt.

Ok.

So, Zelda finds out about Zonai and the thing under Hyrule castle, it's understandable that she would be curious! It was established that she was a curious person.

Anyway, she gets yeeted into the past with a TIME power?!? WHAT. I mean it would explain why it took so long for her light power to wake the fuck up, but still?? It feels so random and forced.

Also in BOTW she spends one HUNDRED years keeping a calamity from destroying hyrule, and now suddenly she can't do jack in TOTK?!? EXSQUEEZE ME. WHAT. SHE MAKES A DAGGER GO BACK IN TIME. wOw- link mastered the power in a day- (I'm sorry but I have so many link rambles)

I just MY BRAIN HURTS. also I just- what the fuck happened to the sheikah?!

Yeah we are talking about this now. Like- fuckers are forgotten by EVERYONE- what happened to the shrines?! OR THE GIANT ASS DIVINE BEASTS LIKE WHERE ARE YOU RUDANA- *SOBS* Oh yeah and let's not forget the fact the champions have been forgotten basically. And Sidon moved the statue of his dead sister to make a statue of link riding him. Don't take that out of context. Also how the fuck did they get rid of the lynel up the mountain like?! Even if link killed it for them it would come back every time- endless building there made it so it couldn't come back there-??? Didn't know monsters had manners. I just- UGH.

Ah yes back to the sheikah tech. Everyone, even the sheikah have forgotten it like bruh. Even if it was like- 8 years since BOTW still- they couldn't have suddenly found everything and got rid of the shrines???

Like- the yiga clan (yes fucks I am talking about them) the yiga clan giving up learning about the sheikah for the Zonai makes sense- because the yiga clan has the depth now- and, they didn't have as much *known* access to sheikah tech. But like- PURAH FOR EXAMPLE- WHY WOULD SHE FORGET ABOUT THE TECH SKDNDJHR- IDC HOW HOT YOU ARE IM MAD AT YOU FOR THAT!

Oh and *SIGHS* lemme talk about the sages. No no, not the ones WE know now, I mean the ones of past. I hate them. The only one I like is the one of the gorons because of that one line he says

Me too buddy, me too/j

Anyway.

I wanna fucking murder these sages. Do they all share the same brain cell??? Other than you Mineru I like you.

Wait hold on that's meme potential. SOMEONE DRAW THE SAGES HAVING THE SAME BRAINCELL/HJ

But I just

I hate them.

So much.

Now let me talk about the best characters in TOTK. Besides kogha.

Farosh, Dinraal, and Naydra.

Dear golly I love these dragons. I vibe with them.

Now it's time for my personal favorite topic

THE YIGA CLAN

I love them. And. Yeah

Though I'm very sad about the missed potential for them. Also is it just me or is almost every yiga a dude..

Idk what to say. Just. I love them. And. Kogha better come back or I will cry/J he always comes back-(I'm sorry)

And the last topic of the evening

Link.

I have

Thoughts

Uhm

Ok less about link I love him but like the fact he's so chill about the fact he doesn't have a arm and now has the arm of a furry might say smt.

But at least in BOTW impa is like 'hey you sure your ready to take on what's next and save hyrule' but now it's like 'fucker go do this this and this and go look at the funny ass paintings on the ground' like. Damn ok. ;-;

I can't tell you how much I stalled playing totk. I had such a hard time finishing regional phenomenon. It just- wasn't fun. I knew what to expect, and what was going to happen. So. Yeah.

But I did really like Rito Village. And gorons town. They basically got addicted to drugs and I am ALL FOR IT (not drugs. Don't do drugs) but the Zora's felt... Boring. I mean they felt boring in botw but it got worse. Personally I thought the gerudo were the most boring in botw which is saying something because I got to sneak through the yiga hide out and Rob Kogha. But the zora felt- basic like. Yeah. At least everything else caused you damage or made things harder- the shroud made navigation hard, snow caused damage, the meat roast made conversion harder

But the zora? The sludge just- made you slower??? Idk man.

And omg. Do Sidon and yona make me mad. YEAH, HATE ME FOR IT SIDON FANS!! like people hate yona bc she's engaged to sidon. Personally I dislike them both. Like- Sidon lost the spark that made him- him! And yona- yona is just annoying. Like fuck off mipha copy.

And oh my hylia the MUCKDROCK- I hate it. No. No I loath it. Like what the fuck are you your fucking shrimp.

And it's fight wasn't even that hard. It was just annoying. Like- colagara in my opinion was the easiest, but it was super fun. But the muchdrock? He sucked.

Also btw- before the wrap up, has anyone found the smoldering coliseum and got zants helm??? Just me? Ok :') apparently it's the ice verison of the thunder helm. Now I think there is a fire one.. hmMmmm

Anyway! That wraps up the ramble!

[hart-on-my-sleeve]

Please make chart explain your head canones please only if you want to dont feel you dont want to

You can't just ask that and expect me to not answer 🤣

I'm calling this the Jimmy Ship Spectrum... May be edited in the future but that's where I'm at right now bahaha

Adrian - Total golden goals right here. Protective. Sassy. But let's Jimmy do his thing. Perfect combo.

Terry - he'd treat him SO right. One of the guys that would come outta nowhere kind of thing, but if Terry ever asked... Well you can't say no to Terry now can ya?

Greg - He edges Brutus out just by a little bit, but I can absolutely see them together. Greg is a softie and would fight anyone for Jimmy. The calm to Jimmy's excitement

Brutus - The most similar to Jimmy. He's not as energetic, but he's positive and nurturing and a show off. They'd be the couple you don't want to fuck with.

The Rougeous - I don't have a deep analysis of this. I just think they're all cute 🤣

Roddy - Can really go either way. But would they absolutely be kinky as hell? Yes. Hundred perceeennntttt. 🥵

Honky - It's like Jimmy does all this good stuff for Honky, but Honky never reciprocates. Sometimes, on the rare occasion he does. But he really is a bad boy. It's the attractive bad boy relationship that you know is gonna hurt you.

Hulk - ugh. Uuugghhhh. They don't match each other's freak in any way shape or form. It's like Hulk has blackmail over Jimmy to be with him. Very toxic. Very using the Jimblies. >:(

The Hart Foundations aren't in there! I think they'd kiss once be like "hm." And then continue to be the best of bros. Too much like fraternity bros to get into ship levels.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk-

[padfootastic]

hi! i've no idea how i came to your page but i realised i'd read two of your one-shots in ao3 before and had adored them (you'll probably get comments from me in future, btw) and i just wanted to say thank you for your writing and thank you for your prongsfoot<3

i've been very critical of this sort of new, cool and aloof and martyred version of remus lupin for quite a while now (honestly, where did all those traits come from?!) and gosh, you're so eloquent when talking about him!!!

i was wondering what your thoughts were on regulus black? because i think he's getting the same sort of royalty treatment as remus does by making him sort of-- er, perfect? i mean. i've seen so much recently of him basically saving the world single-handedly and i-- ugh. and james is always just there, like a useless idiot? it makes me irrationally angry, and this is coming from someone who enjoys jegulus quite a bit. my problem is that i don't know if this rejection i feel against those two comes from a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty.

anyway, again, thank you for your writing. it's truly beautiful. hope you have a great day!

omg hello 🥺 i’ve periodically opened tumblr, giggling like a loon, and logging off multiple times just to see this ask,,,,thank u sm , ur way too kind <3 and ur comment on ao3!!! i was just,,,,yeah,,,no words. thank u.

ooooooh i remember being asked something similar a while ago and i took the safe route and basically went ‘remus lupin-ification of regulus’ iirc. that still stands. but but. i’ve also got another answer here! all hail tumblr’s search system today!

i still basically stand by all of it, but adding onto the jegulus + sirius bits of it:

annoys tf outta me when regulus is turned into a victim and like sirius damned him to hell when he left . i have thoughts about the way both of them were treated (which,,,another time,,,this post is already getting too long lol) but i imagine the day sirius left to be a Good One for reg bc he thinks he’ll have his parents undivided attention now. i also think regulus is severely defanged in a lot of characterisations, as if he wasn’t a baby DE, as if he wasn’t a slytherin from the house of black, as if he wasn’t walmart sirius black. like man i’m almost offended on his behalf. i’m sure his shaking his lil fist up at us from wherever he is.

with jegulus…okay, i’ve only read a couple oneshots but that doesn’t mean i haven’t tried. i genuinely went thru so many fics trying to get something, anything to stick and i think the problem is me. fully. completely. without doubt. i just can’t deal with a situation where j&s aren’t each others no.1, or at the very least, equivalent to that. that’s where my issues w wolfstar started, same w this. jegulus also has the added horror of ‘james and reg sneaking behind sirius’ back’ which is just,,,,gosh,,,,i have So Many Thoughts ab that. all personal opinions, but still. they’re strong. it fucks me up just thinking about it. i also think the ship tries wayyyy too hard to fit the ‘best friend’s brother’ trope and ends up sacrificing characterisation for it. which,,,again,,,that’s fine but it’s all the ‘oh this is how it was!’ that gets to me. and then james :/// he gives off such weird energy lol. jegulus gives me drarry vibes, and james is treated almost exactly as harry is in a lot of those. reg also gets the saviour treatment, like draco, and both of their fuckery is toned down until they’re almost normal, like they never did any reprehensible shit. j&r, and d&h are placed on the same moral equivalence and it’s just a bit. hmm. okay. (my issue with this is how it leaks into the writing and suddenly i’m made to sympathise with draco bc harry slashed him w sectumsempra, but we conveniently forget he was gonna use an unforgivable, ykno?) so overall it just feels…pushing reg up and pulling james down to get them on equal footing. very similar to wolfstar lbr.

anyway. that’s a ramble and a half lmao.

also!! ‘a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty’ in my mind, both of these occupy a similar plane of existence. so very valid. for me, personally, hating remrem started as the latter and i eventually realised it’s also the former lol i was just mad a how sirius is bastardised to justify his ~deification and it eventually moved on to ‘wow i just. do not like him’. damn.

[cherienymphe]

What were your fav and least fav moments in season 3 <3

Ok so (spoilers below the cut)

Faves:

Rafe. Literally Rafe. He was just so funny and such a little shit and one of my favorite things about the season

Riara!!! I loved their interactions so much and when he was like "I always liked you Kie" I went what is actually happening right now cause 😭

Jiara! They hurt so good tbh. The difficult and angsty scenes between them were needed imo. I knew it wasn't going to be smooth sailing and it was difficult watching the way her parents treated him and basically threw his own fears about him and kie in his face and my God the self sabotage was driving me insane and they kept highlighting the differences in their classes but they were cute

Cleo. Literally just Cleo but especially her and Pope. I was surprised by how much I loved them because it seemed like OBX was like yeah let's put the two leftover black characters together but unfortunately they were right and they were cute. Hashtag black love I guess 😭

Cleo and JJ. Not what you think. Cleo's genuine fascination with JJ was hilarious to watch. It was like every time he opened his mouth she'd look at him like he was the most bizarre and mind stumping creature she'd ever met. Also them being two sides of the same coin and equally chaotic was everything

Ward dying!!! I rejoiced so loud it was embarrassing

John B reuniting with his dad but the buck stops there (see least fave things for more)

Y'all gone hate me for this one but I was actually here for Sarah and Tooper? And I do not know why tbh. Can't even tell you. Definitely don't hate her and John B. I think I just enjoyed the drama of it all.

Rafe and Barry. Loved seeing the murder boyfriend together again.

Just the mere knowledge that Rafe was getting it in. Good for him. Good for Sophia.

Rafe and Rose fighting. That was very hilarious to me. "You missed"

Everyone looked great

That motorcycle thing JJ did that made my Kitty purr

Topper going off the deep end in a jealous rampage

Pope telling Rafe it's not over like yeah. I look forward to round 4

Kelce 😭 I actually missed him

Topper helping them steal the "cross" like what was he even doing there? It was so funny to me because you have the whole gang and then...topper 😭

Rafe almost choking his dad out. That was great. Also when he almost killed him. That was a moment

Friar Cameron

Least fave:

WARD. FUCKING WARD. I wanted him OUTTA THERE from day one. How he managed to be so self righteous while sucking so bad I do not know

The fact that Rafe didn't kill ward. That was highly disappointing but alas

Big John. Just a horrible father. Found myself wishing he'd stayed missing.

They were putting the boys THROUGH it my gawd. Idk if they were like yeah we tortured tf out of Sarah last season so this season let's make it even. I mean Pope finding out Rafe melted the cross? Almost going on a villain arc? JJ having no home and nowhere to go and being treated like shit by Kie's dad? John B almost dying? Being forced to be an accessory to murder? Getting cheated on while literally going through hell? My goodness

The show is TV MA so how tf you're going to show Sophia waking up in Rafe's bed half naked and show Rafe getting dressed but don't show us what went down in said bed. Why am I watching Sarah and John B about to do the so but I can't get a crumb for Rafe?

Really wanted to see Rafe give Sophia that tour. No I won't shutup about it

Kie's parents. It's amazing how I found myself thinking they'd grown on me because surely it's hard trying to be a parent to Kie with everything going on but then they just weren't listening to her at all and literally forcibly shipping her off was sooo. And then for them to be celebrating their discovery at the end like they didn't doubt her and JJ the whole time was so ugh

[miraclecherryblossomsblog]

Cerezita, mi amor, hola 🥺💖💖💖💖.

Ha estado un rato y pensí que dicería te quiero :3. Ojalá que ha estados ok si no bien owo 💋💋💋. Cómo está tu día?

Also if you wan, feel free to talk a little about whatever self ship thing is all over ur mind rn >:3.

DERE HI!!!!!!!!

Hope ur feeling a lil better and that ur taking care bby <:3c

My day's been fine, school being a lil hassel but other than that everythings chill, hope ur day's been ok too!

And pls i just been thinking about dating jason generally (as u can see my blog is full of him ksksksk)

So lil headcanon sharing (cant do the readmore thing :/) 1st point of view (i think?)

Tw: mention of scars, 1st point of view

▪Jason's the chef in the relationship. Not saying he cooks all the time of course but my cooking skills are way lower than what this man can make

▪ i know he would love to read me bf sleeping, or anytime really. I just sit on his lap as he reads me one of his favorite genres, not pay attention to what the books about, just listening to his voice is already enough to lull me to sleep

▪Teasing. Lil. Shit. Not a daily thing but sometimes likes to remind whose the tallest here. He likes to put things up a lil too high to reach. Likes to see me struggle and does that thing where he stands behind me and reach for it (making sure my back is touching his front) and will hand it to me with that damn smirk UGH

▪SCARES ME WITH THAT BATMAN SHIT. I would be doing my own thing and this dude would come outta nowhere WITH NO WARNING!!

▪Scary dog priveledges. Man knows hes intimidating (red hood or not) and isnt afraid to show them canines to anyone getting a lil too comfy with me or him. He aint taking any chances, specialy knowing where we live (gotham)

▪Bf we even started dating for some reason he would just pop in my mind would and bf i even noticed i have his shirtless muscular body on my paper LMAO EMBARRASED AS HELL (he knew for a while but doesnt really say anything)

▪Scars kithes. He just loves everytime i press my lips on any of his scars, makes him buckle hehehe

▪Gets teased by his brothers for how soft he is with me UWU (its amusing to see ngl)

I would continue but it would become almost a whole ass fic jcjjcjdmk and like i mention bf i cant really shorten the post so ye

[cjsinkythoughts]

It’s All in the Perspective

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4491

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Gun Violence, Minor Character Injury, A Peek at Angry Bucky, Explosions (if that’s a warning), Mentions of Stevie (I really miss him, guys)

A/N: So! Here it is! Part 4.3! After long hours of laboring and slaving away - kidding, kidding. I had a bit of trouble with this part, not gonna lie, because there’s a lot of feelings I wanted to try explaining. To do that, there’s a little sort of twist at the end that, once I decided to put in, made the chapter much smoother to write. I wasn’t happy with it at first, but now I’m satisfied.

There’s a lot of things happening in this one; it’s longer than I had anticipated because of the little snippet at the end I added. It’s got a few scene-for-scene things, but I kinda blew past it just to get to the characters’ emotions and stuff. Plus writing action like the shipping yard scene is hard when you’re not focusing entirely on that scene, which I wasn’t.

You’ll notice that the last little bit with Ayo (the Wakandan) isn’t in this. That’s because I couldn’t really find a way to fit it in and I’m assuming it will fit in better with next week’s episode.

Not beta’d, so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you wonderful people for reading and commenting! I enjoy hearing your opinions and what you like about the show and the series! Enjoy the final Part for Episode 3 and stay tuned for an announcement tomorrow about the One Shots I’ll be doing in relation to this series!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

You and Bucky kept sneaking glances at each other as you walked through the dock, weaving between the different colored shipping containers with Sharon leading the way. Every time you caught his eye, his ears turned red and he looked away, scanning your surroundings. Not that you were any better, immediately turning away when he turned your way.

You almost kissed him. Fuck. You couldn’t let that happen. He was your friend. Your teammate. He was the best friend to the man you fell in love with, who just so happened to be your best friend. Your best friend who left you. Your best friend who you promised you would watch out for Bucky. 

Bucky…who you also fell in love with. Whether or not it was because of Steve, the fact of the matter was: you loved him. You loved both of them. And you’d never loved anyone like that before. And one left. And the other was trying to navigate through his shitty life. And you weren’t any better. Which is why, you decided in that moment, that no matter how much you wanted to - and holy shit did you want to - you wouldn’t pursue. 

Yet. Maybe. Ugh! When did feelings become so complicated?!

When you started having them.

You silently grumbled to yourself, shaking your head clear. You had to focus and be in the moment. Now was not the time to sort out what to do about the suddenly rising emotions towards the cerulean eyed brunette currently burning with you with a gaze you refused to return.

“Alright.” Sharon stopped, making the group stop as well. “He’s in there. Container 4261. I’ll keep an eye out while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry; we’re on borrowed time.”

You each grabbed one of the earpieces she held in her palm, slipping it comfortably in your ear. “I’ll stay back with you.” Sharon went to talk, but you cut her off. “I’d feel better knowing it’s not just you out here.”

She pursed her lips, before nodding. “Alright. If that’s what you want.”

“Doll-”

“I’ll be fine, Buck.” You insisted, checking your gun to make sure it was loaded. Bucky stayed quiet, nodding in begrudging acceptance.

You and Sharon headed off as the boys went towards the storage unit. “Just like old times, huh?” Sharon raised an eyebrow at you.

You grinned, shoving your gun in the thigh holster she let you borrow. “Let the good times roll, babe.”

“Absolutely.” Sharon winked, before you two split up to cover more ground. It wasn’t long before Sharon announced company and you took off sprinting in her direction.

You got to her just as more thugs approached her from behind, immediately lunging into action.

“Hey, so, we never finished that conversation!”

You grunted as you roundhouse kicked a guy, hooking your knee over his shoulder and pulling him to the ground by the neck “Really?! You wanna do that now?!”

“Sure! I’m not too busy!”

You rolled your eyes at her reply, seeing her knock a guy unconscious before she turned around to knee another one in the face. “What were we talking about?”

“Why’re you holding back?”

“It’s complicated!” You elbowed a guy in the ribs, flipping him over your shoulder and twisting his arm till a sickening crack sounded.

“Because of Steve?!”

“Yes - no! Kind of!” 

Sharon was on the floor choking a guy out as you slammed a guy’s head into a shipping container, pushing him at another guy. “You loved him didn’t you?! And I mean, like in love with him!”

“Who?!” You laced your fingers around the back of his head and brought his face down onto his knee.

“Director Fury!” You gave her a look which she snorted at. “Steve, you dumbass! Who else?!”

“Yeah! No shit I was in love with him!” You ran up the side of a storage unit to do a backflip and land on some guy’s shoulders, choking him out. Before he fell, you rolled off, tripping a guy in the process and elbowing his throat.

“Well at least you’re admitting it now!”

You were hit in the back of the head, thrown into a wrestle with another guy on the ground. You bit his hand, making him cry out, before you headbutted him. 

“You couldn’t even hear his name without having to remind people you were ‘just friends’!”

“We were just friends, Share! You know that!”

You heard her shoot of a gun a few times as you smacked someone in the back of the head with the butt of your gun, trying to save ammo. “You really never did anything about it?!”

“No!”

She glanced at you incredulously from across the way, bodies now littering the ground. “And you don’t regret that?”

“No.” You sighed at her look, relenting. “Yes. Kind of. I dunno. I mean…he’s happy with his decision, and for me that’s enough.”

“But doesn’t it hurt?”

“Of course it hurts. It hurts like hell. But-”

“But you still have him so it’s all good.”

You bit your lip, shrugging. “Something like that.”

Sharon tilted her head, confused. “So why don’t you tell him?”

“I dunno. I don’t think either of us is ready.”

“C’mon. I saw you two earlier. You should’ve just kissed him.”

Rolling your eyes, you frowned when you noticed something missing. “Ah shit. My ear piece. It must’ve fallen out earlier.” You looked around, but Sharon stopped you, nodding her head between a couple shipping containers. 

“Don’t worry about it. Mine broke a little while ago, too. Let’s go get the guys. Tell them we need to leave.”

You nodded and started running with her to the unit Nagel’s lab was in. You followed her around the corner, only to widen your eyes and shove her out of the way. Two gunshots rang out, Sharon catching the guy right between the eyes, while the man’s bullet grazed your shoulder.

“Ow, fuck.” You hissed, hand immediately going up to clamp your wound.

“Dammit! You shouldn’t have done that, you idiot!”

You gave her a look. “You’re welcome.”

Rolling her eyes, she quickly tore off part of your shirt. “Hey!”

“First off, this is my shirt. Second, I’m just making it more of a crop top. Third, it’s your own fault, so quit your whining.”

“Touchy touchy.” You grumbled, wincing when she tied it around your arm.

“Just come on. And hey,” she turned to you as she sprinted with your wrist in her hold. “My advice? Don’t wait. Seriously. I know it must be weird, the whole he’s his best friend, he was your best friend, now he’s your best friend, thing you’ve got going on, but there’s nothing else stopping you. Steve made his choice. And he’d be fine with whatever you choose as long as you’re happy.”

You shook your head. “But Bucky’s still healing-”

“So? He’s already been on dates. I think you’re just using that as an excuse to protect your heart from hurting again. Trust me; Barnes isn’t going anywhere.”

Not able to respond since you were making your way to the guys in Nagel’s lab, you bit your lip, hating that she got the last say in the conversation. She definitely planned it so she would. “We’re outta time, fellas.”

As if things couldn’t get worse Zemo - that fucking snake, you knew he was gonna do something stupid - took out a gun he got from who knows where. You sure as hell didn’t let him have a gun. Before you could stop him, he shot Nagel, your best, your only, lead.

“Goddammit!” You growled as Sam and Sharon restrained him. “You fucking-”

The explosion came next, again happening faster than you could react. Bucky grabbed you and pulled you underneath him, covering you with his body as glass and metal flew around you. With ringing ears, you groaned, squinting your eyes open.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You were vaguely aware of the alarms going off, a red light blinking behind Bucky’s head. You nodded, his worried eyes softening just slightly at your response. “We gotta get out-”

“I know, I know. C’mon.” He helped you up, eyes catching sight of the makeshift bandage on your arm. “Dammit, what did you do?”

“I’m fine.” You pushed his hands off. “Go help Sharon. We’ve gotta move. Now.” He huffed, but nodded and moved over to get Sharon. You tried to see where Zemo went through the smoke, but he was already gone.

You four made it just before the whole thing combusted due to the chemicals in the lab. So much for any evidence or leads.

The moment you got out, you were thrust into a gunfight, rolling your eyes as Bucky and Sam, once again, did their own thing.

“Are they always like this?”

“Usually it’s worse. Wait until they start arguing about who was right.” Sharon gave you an unamused look to which you nodded at, ducking when a bullet whizzed by you. “I know. It’s so annoying.”

Sure enough, when Bucky ran out of bullets, the bickering commenced, making you huff and Sharon shout at them. “Are they serious?”

You shot a few more bullets before your gun started clicking. “Dammit. Unfortunately.”

“I’m out!”

“Me too!”

Another explosion and a person you couldn’t see clearly through the haze caused a distraction for you guys to get away, Sam practically shoving you and Sharon into an open shipping container as Bucky took care of a couple more bounty hunters.

“What happened? Both of your comms went out.” Bucky growled once he came in behind you, grabbing your forearm to study your wound.

“It’s just a graze. Chill your ass down. I lost my earpiece and Sharon’s broke.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed, his voice low with warning. “What. Happened.”

“We rounded a corner, the guy was there. I shoved Sharon, he shot, she shot, I got hit, he’s now dead. Happy?”

“You promised.” He snapped, finger tightening on your arm. “You said you’d save yourself first.”

“Buck, let go.” Grabbing his wrist, you tugged a bit, wincing slightly. “Seriously. Stop. That hurts.”

He blinked, his features slacking and his fingers immediately dropping your arm. “Doll, I-I…fuck.” He turned to go punch through the back wall to get out of the unit you were in.

Before you could respond and tell him it was fine, the Baron himself drove up in a slick blue convertible. You groaned at Bucky’s response to Zemo. “We need him.” God, you were getting tired of hearing that.

“You’re lucky I don’t bash your head in.” You growled at him. 

“If you try that shit again-”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Sam raised an eyebrow when Bucky got into the passenger’s seat with no hesitation, looking at you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but you shrugged and slipped into the back with Sam. Bucky and you always took the back seat. You had ever since the dumb little blue car Steve got.

You hugged Sharon in parting, knowing she couldn’t come with. “Hey.” She looked at you sternly. “Take a leap.”

“We’ll see.” You told her, sitting down and buckling.

“Do better than that, Y/L/N. And get me that pardon you promised me.” She told Sam, pointing at him..

“Thanks for everything.” She nodded, before jogging off in the opposite direction you’d be heading. Sam turned back to the front, an annoyed expression crossing his face. “You’re not gonna move your seat up, are you?”

“No.”

You snickered as Sam shot you a glare, Zemo starting to drive the car out of the shipping yard, away from the chaos.

****************

You collapsed onto the seat in front of Bucky, leaning onto the knee he had propped up against the back. He glanced up at you, face blank, before looking back down at his metal hand he was cleaning.

“Here. Let me see-”

“I got it.” He grumbled, shifting away from where your hands reached for his.

Your eyes widened, stunned at his reaction. “Bucky, just let me-”

“I said no, Y/N.” Your name. Again. You can’t remember him calling you ‘doll’ since before the shipping yard explosion.

“Are you okay?” He merely grunted. You straightened off his leg, swatting his knees with the back of your hand. “Hey.”

He shifted again, planting his feet on the floor. “Stop.”

“No.”

He shot you a warning glare. “Y/N-”

“Stop calling me that.”

“It’s your name, isn’t it?”

“What is wrong with you?” You scrunched up your features in confusion and concern. “Is this about my arm? I told you it’s fine.” You got no response except his eye flickering to your now properly bandaged shoulder. “Why are you acting so weird?”

He shrugged. “I’m not.”

You scoffed in disbelief, jaw dropping. “You’re not.”

“Nope.”

“Fine.” You stood up, brushing your legs off, the bare skin having splotches and smears of dirt and dust. “If you wanna be like that, go ahead. Brood. Be a child. When you’re ready to talk to me about whatever the hell is bothering you, like an adult, I’ll be in the back room.”

You only took two steps before he called out for you. “Doll.” You turned around, an expectant look on your features as you crossed your arms, shifting your weight to one foot. He looked up at you nervously, before looking down and picking at the metal plates of his hand. “I got scared.”

Your features softened, your head tilting gently. “Scared?”

“When you stopped talking. You and Sharon…you were talking. But both of your comms went down around the same time and I…it scared me. I-I don’t get scared anymore. Not the way I did when your voice stopped. I didn’t mean to hurt you…” His voice got quieter at the last sentence, his eyes looking to the purple handprint on your forearm.

“It was an accident, Buck.” You reassured him, settling back down in front of him. “It’s fine. You were still reeling it in from the bar. I know it’s hard for you to judge your strength like that. Steve had problems like that too.” You looked down at the rag he was holding, putting your hand out.

He licked his lips, before handing you the rag. You got off the couch to shift so you were sitting between his legs, his chest to your back. Holding his metallic hand between both of yours, you set to work, gingerly wiping away the grime, picking at the filth that wedged itself between the plates.

“He,” you chuckled, shaking your head at the moment you were remembering. “He accidentally gave me a concussion once when we were sparring. At first it was awesome; he got me my favorite take out and took me to the movies and all that. But then he just started getting annoying. Wouldn’t even let me reach for the TV remote on the coffee table a yard away.”

“Can I ask you something?” You hummed, tilting your head slightly when you felt his chin hooking on your shoulder, giving him more room. “How long did you love him?”

Freezing, you raised an eyebrow and turned to face him. “What?”

“You and Sharon. When you were talking…your comms were on.”

“How-” You swallowed thickly, a lump suddenly forming in the back of your throat. “How much did you hear?”

“Yours went out right after you admitted you were in love with him. Hers went out after you said you were just friends.”

Holding in a sigh of relief, you went back to cleaning his hand. “I don’t really know exactly when it happened. After the Battle of New York, maybe. So 2012, I guess? I dunno. I was getting up from falling for him, though. A few years later.”

“Was?”

“I - yeah. I kind of…fell again.”

He hummed, leaning back, taking his chin off your shoulder and unwinding his arm from your waist. “He’s an easy person to fall for. Hell, I’m pretty sure I had a crush on him once upon a time.”

You chuckled at that, raising an eyebrow over your shoulder at him. “I never said I fell for him again. But, yeah. You’re right.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “You like someone else?”

“It’s…complicated.”

“Oh…” He cleared his throat as you went back to his hand. “Uh…so you don’t still love him? Steve, I mean?”

“He was the first person I really loved, Bucky. A part of me will always love him.”

Bucky fingers twitched in your hold, the fingers on his other hand tapping against his thigh. “You know…he loved you too.”

You sighed, closing your eyes. “Don’t do that.”

“It’s true-”

“He left, James. If he loved me, why would he leave?”

You could feel his hesitation as his next words left his lips. “I-I dunno.” That was a lie. You could hear it in his voice. If there was one person Steve trusted more than you, it was Bucky. Of course he knew.

“Listen, I really don’t want to talk about this-”

“It’s in the notebook.” You bit your lip as Bucky shifted, pulling out the little notebook from his pocket. “He made lists - he liked lists. He made lists of things you said that made him laugh. Songs that reminded him of you. Little quirks you do that he noticed over the years. He missed you every time you went on a mission and prayed you’d get back safely.”

“James, please-”

“He didn’t want me to let you know. But I had to tell you. You have to know. He loved you.”

You let out a shaky breath as he placed the book on your thigh. You stared at it for a moment, before grabbing it and placing it in his left hand, closing his fingers around it and standing up. “I think…I’m gonna go rest for a bit in the back room. Holler if you need me.”

You didn’t wait for a response, moving quickly to the small back room of the plane which you got dressed in only a couple days ago. It only had one arm chair and instead of a door there was a curtain, but you were fine with that, plopping down in the chair and reclining.

Why? Why would he bring that up? Did he hear more than he said? Was he trying to let you down easy before you could even tell him how you felt? Did he get spooked after dancing? After the almost-kiss?

You never thought of Steve in the wrong. After all he’d done for the world in his life, he deserved to be selfish - to be happy. And Peggy gave him that. But why? Why would he leave if he loved you so dearly? If he really did what Bucky said? He wouldn’t. He’s not cruel. He wouldn’t up and leave, without even saying goodbye, knowing how deeply you loved him and feeling the same about you. This was Steven Grant Rogers for crying out loud! He wouldn’t…right?

But Bucky…he wouldn’t lie to you. He wouldn’t tell you that, especially knowing how much you missed the lovable blonde. And you knew his words held at least some truth. Actions spoke louder than words, and as something Bucky said repeated itself in your mind, you started slipping into a memory, your eyes shutting and your breaths evening out.

“He missed you every time you went on a mission and prayed you’d get back safely.”

~

The incessant knocking made you groan, shouting that you were coming and mumbling curses. You barely threw open the door before his worried voice hit your ears. “Are you okay? Were you hurt?”

“Stevie.” You sighed, rubbing your eyes and looking over at the clock on the wall. “Bubs…it’s two in the morning. I just got back, like, an hour ago.”

He shuffled, pink lips in a pout, eyes round and distressed. “I know, honey. I know. I’m sorry. But I heard you got hurt-”

You shook your head, a small giggle of amusement leaving your lips and you lifted your right hand, letting him see the black split holding your ring and pinky fingers. “I jammed my fingers in a door. The doc said I’ll be fully healed in a month at most.”

His eyes darted across your face and down your body, scanning for any more injuries. After glancing at your hands again, they finally landed on your eyes once more. Next thing you knew, you were being held against his chest, his face in the crook of your neck. You hummed softly, running your fingers down his spine, moving the two of you deeper into your apartment so you could shut the door.

“Don’t ever do that again. I gotta have faith in something and if you come home hurt, it’ll be crushed.”

Your eyebrows knit together. At his strange wording. “What’s that mean?”

“It means you have to promise me you’ll stay safe, honey.” He pulled back and held your face between his hands. “Please.”

“I can promise I’ll try my best.” You teased lightly, smiling at him and booping his nose, making him grin, although it was strained. “Why don’t you stay here tonight? We’ll turn on some TV in my room and you can keep me safe while I get much needed sleep.”

That made his grin relax into a real one, his head nodding in agreement. “Sounds perfect.”

“C’mon, bubs.” You took his hand, leading him to your room. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and you’ll catch some zzzz’s too.”

~

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

“What the hell was that?”

Bucky turned to Sam, who was gaping at him in utter disbelief, looking from the assassin to the doorway Y/N just walked through. “She needed to know.”

“Buck, she’s been dealing with some shit. And we both know something’s going on that she isn’t telling us. Her “zoning out” isn’t just zoning out, and we know that. She doesn’t need you confusing her even more.”

“Confusing her?”

Sam blinked, his troubled expression falling into a deadpan. “Are you fucking with me? No. There’s no way you’re that naive. Seriously?! Man, c’mon!”

Bucky scrunched up his face. “What?”

“She likes you, man! Everyone knows it!”

The brunette shook his head, forehead creased. “No. No, you heard her, Sam. She’s in love with Steve.”

“Was in love. As in past tense.”

“But-but she said- she likes someone else-”

“Barnes!” Sam threw his hands up, exasperated. “You are someone else!”

“I thought you two were already-”

Bucky pointed warningly at Zemo. “Watch it. Wait, wait-” He turned back to Sam. “But I heard her-”

“Bucky…man…” Sam sighed, shaking his head. “Listen, I can’t tell you everything. I’m not about to break my girl’s trust like that. But you gotta hear me when I tell you she likes you. What do you think almost happened at the party?”

“She - I - it was…an accident?”

Sam spluttered, eyes wide. “An accident? You two grinding and nearly making out was an accident?!”

“Woah! We were not…grinding-”

Zemo hummed. “Hmm…you kind of were.”

Bucky glared at him. “Thin. Fucking. Ice.” He whipped back to Sam. “I just remind her of him.”

“What?! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! You remind her of Steve? Yes, granted your both dumbasses, but she knows both of you enough to know there’s quite a few big differences.”

“Wilson-”

Sam held up his hand, shutting Bucky up. “You like her. Yes or no.”

Bucky huffed, looking down at the hand she was holding only minutes ago. “Yes.” He finally relented. “Since the first couple months in Wakanda.”

“Steve liked her. Yes or no.”

He ran a hand through his hair, nodding his head. “Yes. Yes he liked her. I wasn’t lying about that.”

“So explain something to me.” Sam crossed his arms. “Why is it that Steve isn’t here, and you are?”

Bucky crossed his arms, brooding - although he’d never admit it - while staring out the window. “Steve…knew. I liked her. And, yes, he loved her, but he also loved Peggy. So he…”

“He told you to take your chance with Y/N, and he went back to be with his first love.”

HYDRA’s former fist nodded with a sigh. “Something like that.”

“You need to tell her.”

“I can’t.”

Sam groaned. “Why not?!”

“Because!” Bucky took a breath, trying not to shout and alert the sleeping girl in the room over, his ears tuning into her slowed heartbeat to make sure she was okay. “Because Steve has her heart, Sam. The whole thing just…I’m jealous of him. Because he got her first. And then I get mad because he didn’t do shit about it. And then I feel guilty because all the shit he put up with for me and here I am complaining…and then I just get…depressed because he’s not here. I used to be the one who fixed his problems. But after I got out…he’s been the one fixing mine. And I just…I don’t know what to do.”

Sam shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I get it. That’s valid. But stop whining and moping around about it. It happened. And you need to get your shit together. If not for your sake, for hers. Because she lost him too. And she’s probably feeling those exact same feelings.”

“But…she’s his girl-”

“No. She’s not. He made his choice.” Sam nodded towards Bucky. “Now you gotta make yours,  Buckaroo.”

He shot him a glare. “You can’t call me that.”

“Why not? Y/N calls you that.”

“Y/N has a plan.”

“We both know that’s not true, Buckaroo. Hey! That one rhymed!”

Bucky shook his head with a scowl. “I will beat your ass, Wilson.”

Sam scoffed, shoving Bucky’s head playfully. “Stop being a dumbass and tell her. Buckaroo.”

“That’s it!”

Bucky tackled Sam to the ground, Zemo giving them an amused expression before leaving to talk to Oeznik. They were so wrapped up in their wrestling session, they didn’t notice the woman leaning against the wall, tired eyes barely opened as her eyebrows raised, unimpressed.

“Are you fellas done?’

They both stopped, shooting up when they noticed her. “Doll, I-”

She shook her head. “Don’t, Buck. Not right now. I’m just really tired.”

“Did we wake you?” Sam winced.

She shook her head again, yawning. “No. I just needed to use the restroom.”

Bucky couldn’t help the small smile as she rubbed her eyes, stretching her arms overhead, making that ripped crop top ride higher up. She was too cute. And she didn’t even realize it.

“Sleep well, doll. We’ll try to keep it down.”

She nodded, turning and waving over her shoulder. “You two try getting sleep, too, alright? Goodnight, Sammy.”

“Night, cher.”

“Sweetheart?” She peeked through the curtain, tilting her head slightly. “You know I love you, right?”

A small smile quirked up her lips, but it was sadder than the ones his question usually elicited. “As long as you know I love you.”

He nodded, returning the half-smile. “G’night, doll.”

“Goodnight, Buckaroo.”

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (May 30th-July 5th)

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Narrative basically ret-cons bad behavior of someone who isn't Marinette.

Oh yay! Alya V2!

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need Burrow to know that Mouse!Mylene will be called Multimouse.

I read somewhere that her name will be Polymouse but the source was broken.

Please be a mistake back when we saw the hero names and Mylene didn’t get her own name.

I’d also like to add a bonus that either Mylene gets named that without her consent (like someone calls her that), or Mylene names herself that without any knowledge of Multimouse!Marinette at all.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: Assuming Luka×Zoe actually happens, there will be no build up whatsoever. In one episode, they just happen to get trapped together somewhere, talk for like ten seconds and start dating immediately afterwards. Basically the same as Alya×Nino bc none of the ships in this show (other than Lukanette and Adrigami) had any sort of meaningful developement before happening

A relationship beyond the love square getting development??? That’s cute.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: Nino is gonna realize that Alya has the fox miraculous full time now and because of that he's gonna get pissy and so somehow Alya will be outta commission and Nino will be there so Marinette will give him a miraculous, Alya will probably say something encouraging about Nino, and then HE'LL get a full time miraculous to.

The only reason I don’t feel like this won’t happen is that it doesn’t direct anywhere near as much blame onto Marinette.

Anonymous asked:

Don't need burrow to know Chat will get angry at Ladybug and maybe Rena because Rena is now a permanent hero and he'll spend the day being a dick, but he'll be forced to work with Rena and realize things are good, but he'll only apologize to Rena.

Ladybug is just used to being chopped liver I assume.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Adrigami is restored, while Lukanette isn't.

Marinette will be too busy being forced by the narrative to continue caring about Adrien.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow, Su Han will only reappear at the end of the season and then disappear again.

“Hi, Su-Ha--oh, there he goes.”

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Adrien decide to confess his secret identity as Chat Noir to Nathalie. She decide to don't tell him that his father is Hawkmoth (but also decide to don't tell Gabriel that his son is Chat Noir)

God, the Agreste drama intensifies. Kill me.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette actually REJECTS Adrien after the identity reveal after it hits her all at once that HE did all the awful, questionable things Chat Noir did. This allows the Love Square Drama to continue, with Marinette being slammed for DARING to be upset/have STANDARDS - everyone claims that she's set the bar too impossibly high and is responsible for her own romantic misery, while Adrien continues being coddled by other temporary love interests while waiting for her to wise up.

Uggggggh.

I’m just waiting for Ladybug to loudly reject Chat Noir and then she falls for him soon after and bonus if Chat rubs it in her face that she’s moved on or the narrative ignores Chat’s past actions as Ladybug is all like, “WOW HE’S SO RESPECTFUL NOW.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug's continued rejections of Chat Noir are directly compared to Gabriel's shitty parenting -- both of them are denying Adrien things he wants, and these crimes against Sadrien are depicted as equally awful.  (If not weighted towards Ladybug being worse because sHe'S bReAkInG hIs WiDdLe HeArT~~~)

This one wins for making me the most upset.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: Juleka will become the tiger hero in another Julerose-centric episode, but this time Rose is akumatized (into princess fragrance again, but this time with a sentimonster so it’s DiFfErEnT). It will chronologically take place after guilt trip, but Rose’s disability will not be acknowledged, even in passing.

I swear, if I have to see a repeat akuma ONE MORE TIME!!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: The major conflict of the season will be Marinette repeating “mistakes” (this can be similar to not keeping chat 100% in the loop till he throws a fit or having a human to depend on emotionally about miraculous stuff) Bonus: The show doesn’t show the good that came out of her actions and only the bad (Not having a breakdown and etc)

Yup. Definitely Marinette’s fault that she needed to rely on someone so she didn’t have a breakdown. She should’ve buried her emotions and broke down every day instead.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: After the show runners give into another fan theory of new permanent heroes, they will quickly show why this was a mistake. Bonus if it’s the very next episode (because if Marinette did it then it has to be bad)

This already felt super likely and then you added “because if Marinette did it then it has to be bad” and now I’m just sad because it’s doubly right.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Marinette, who dreams of being a fashion designer, designs something that’s just ugly. Bonus if it’s never addressed/characters just say it’s great so the show doesn’t look bad at designing clothes

Does Ladybug count? Still can’t believe Chat Noir gets the “complex” outfit with actual thought and Ladybug gets the onesie.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: It's revealed that Emilie intended to use the Miraculi they'd found to 'give Adrien the world'.  This is treated as a sympathetic motive because, as Word of God constantly insists, Adrien is perfect and deserves everything he desires, regardless of how anyone else feels about it.  Thus it doesn't matter what horrific things his parents did or intended; their goals are treated as righteous, with Ladybug being Wrong to oppose them.

They just want what’s best for their son!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be a plot in which LADYBUG is accused of not caring about civilians, with Adrien/Chat Noir getting to lecture her as if HE has the moral high ground.  Or any ground to stand on.  His abysmal track record is completely ignored, retconned, or otherwise treated as inapplicable; we likely get a singular moment where he suddenly Gives A Shit about protecting one of his friends/classmates, which is treated as proof that he Always Cares About Such Matters.

Bonus if it’s Ladybug choosing not to defend/save someone who spited her/deserves it, which is “clearly worse” than Chat Noir threatening to let Paris drown in “Syren.” Ladybug is not allowed to be human and also not allowed to show people that there are consequences for their actions, proving that they/Chat can take advantage and mock her as much as they want with no repurcussions.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Sabrina and Chloe have another Friendship Breakup; when Sabrina seems poised to actually get away from her abusive 'BFF' for good, Adrien intervenes/whines at Marinette to help him fix it, because it's nOt FaAaAaIr for Chloe to be aLl AlOoOoOoNe...

Is it too late to make Adrien disappear and have it look like an accident.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: In a Shocking Twist, Cats are revealed to be cursed - the majority suffer some catastrophic fate as the Ring eventually causes their Destruction.  Only True Love can break it, making Ladybug's refusal to give in to Chat Noir's advances a literal matter of life-and-death and 'justifying' all of his behavior.  Bonus if it's retconned that *Adrien always knew this*, despite nothing in his behavior ever indicating he believed himself to be on borrowed time.  Because Angstrese.

Also bonus if this is also used as just another way to make him seem sympathetic. Double bonus if this information is brought up after Ladybug snaps at Chat Noir, and she’s told this information to make her feel guilty.

.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: If Adrien reveal someone his secret identity, it will be ... obviously Wayhem.

Nino: hello darkness--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Goat!Marc, Rooster!Nathaniel and even Ox!Ivan will be buffed out because not even the boys in this show are allowed to keep their own body shapes when they become superheroes.

I’m positive Ivan especially will be beefed up. The civilian models are really awkward at times and clearly not prepared to be put in onesies (it’s hard to explain and maybe someone more experienced with propotions/anatomy will be able to say it better, but their limbs don’t have a lot of “shape” to them I guess?).

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: Alya’s miraculous looks exactly the same in it’s “camouflage” mode solely so Lila can easily switch her necklace with Alya’s. (seriously why does it not change that bothers the hell out of me)

If that happens, I’d put money on Alya not getting called out on it. Good to know you put so much priority on “secrecy,” Alya.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t need burrow: A kwami swap will happen again somehow. Marinette will uncharacteristically scold Adrien way more harshly than normal AGAIN to make him feel bad about himself and this will further the (Adrien melodrama depression arc) of him feeling useless/ replaced. Bonus points if Alya picks up his slack.

Honestly, I was here for the scolding in “Reflekdoll” just because there weren’t consequences for her for once.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: There will be Sad Noir galore. Its all Ladybug’s fault, naturally.

Naturally.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Episode where Sabrina gets Dog Miraculous will be Chloe-centric (or Bourgeois sisters centric)

&

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: the episode where Sabrina gets the Dog Miraculous (which seems inevitable now, ugh) will heavily feature or even focus on Chloé, despite the fact that Chloé has already had a couple of episodes focusing largely on her this season. Sabrina’s introduction as a hero will have about as much focus as Kim’s or will be jammed into the last five minutes of the episode. Bonus points if they manage to deny her a proper transformation sequence like they did Kagami.

Roger: *exists and desperately needs development on his policy that caused Sabrina to become Chloe’s slave in the first place*

show: okay but--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Under pressure, Marinette admits to Alya and/or Tikki that she doesn't mind the attention (aka constant harassment) Chat Noir gives her; parroting common claims by sexual harassers, she says it makes her feel *special* and *noticed*.  She may also insist that she still wishes he would focus on the AKUMA/their responsibilities more, but the obvious point of this scene is to 'justify' his behavior with evidence that 'she enjoys it'.

MARINETTE

PLEASE

YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be a joke about Chat Noir *copping a feel* on Ladybug after an akuma sends them into an awkward position.  Ladybug's shock and discomfort is played for laughs; bonus if he quips about her suit not leaving much to the imagination.  Adrien is in a fantastic mood afterwards, considering that to be the 'best battle yet'.  (Alternatively, another heroine is victimized and Ladybug is visibly jealous/her annoyance at Chat is treated like jealousy.)

I’m not adding this to the spreadsheet just because a scene like that is too dicey for a kid’s show (though, believe me, if it were to happen, I’m putting that on it’s own damn card), but I will say that this would 100% happen if this were an anime/aimed towards an older audience.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien tricks Alya into thinking that Chat Noir already knows Ladybug's secret identity, thusly learning that she's Marinette.  This is passed off as all MARI's fault, naturally.  If Alya apologizes at all, it's in a backhanded, "But why didn't he know this already?" sort of fashion.

It’s Marinette’s fault for telling Alya her identity in the first place.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Post-Reveal, Marinette struggles to reconcile how her crush is also her abusive slacker 'partner'.  Adrien, by contrast, accepts her as Ladybug immediately... though his words make clear that he doesn't give a shit who SHE is, just that she's Ladybug.  Naturally, this is treated as Mari needing to learn how to accept Adrien for who he is, all while insisting that his many flaws and failings aren't issues at all.

i hate it, thanks

Anonymous asked:

DNB: The RLBS is EXPLICITLY punishment for Marinette: after a mutual reveal, Adrien declares that they can't get together as civilians until she accepts him as Chat Noir.  Mari is forced to awkwardly pursue Chat as Ladybug while he strings her along/humiliates her; meanwhile, Adrien trolls her with shallow gestures to fluster her/rile up their shipper classmates, who ride her ass for not 'sealing the deal' and making their relationship official.  Alya, aware of everything, is the WORST about it.

I presume that “RLBS” is “Reverse Love BS” which... yes.

Also, that whole “she needs to accept him as Chat Noir” infuriates me because that’s been a fandom thing forever.

.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: The only reason Sabrina got Dog Miraculous is because of a scene where Chloe literally "Kick the Dog".

&

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow to know that despite Sabrina almost certainly getting a miraculous and becoming a hero, the fact that she deserves better than being abused by Chloé and is a worthwhile individual in her own right will not be addressed. Because StATuS QuO!

I just had a horrible thought that they’ll do the episode like--

Chloe treats Sabrina terribly like usual, Sabrina ditches Chloe and Chloe is miserable + takes it out on everyone else for it, then Chloe gets akumatized over it and Sabrina gets the dog (for “loyalty”), which leads to Sabrina going back to Chloe so that Chloe will direct the abuse more solely towards Sabrina because “she takes it out on others otherwise”/she’s “used to it”/”it’s her responsibility and this is the right thing to do.” This will also be presented as the “right choice” and Chloe and Sabrina’s relationship will basically not change for the sake of leaving Chloe the way she is.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Cat Noir is gonna throw a Syren-Sized fit if/when he finds out that Ladybug dares to have a support network through Alya (not a very GOOD support network, but one nonetheless).

Still waiting for the “lesson” where Ladybug is told she’s not allowed to have emotions/be vulnerable.

Oh wait, that’s the show.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir will angst and fish for sympathy points instead of apologizing for the 40th time in the series.

Every time.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Luka is gonna say that Adrien and Marinette are made for each other. This is the last appearance that he will make in the show (with exception to background/shipping fuel between him and somebody else w̶h̶o̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶e̶i̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶Z̶o̶è̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶K̶a̶g̶a̶m̶i̶).

Considering the ““““parellel”“““ episodes of “Truth” and “Lies,” I’m just ready for the same thing that happened with Kagami in “Mr. Pigeon 72.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Trixx plays pranks on Alya's family and is a little troll; he particularly loves teasing the twins, since any claims they might make about seeing a 'magical flying fox' will be passed  off as childish imaginings.  Alya blames Marinette for this more than she does Trixx.

Marineeeette, raise your “children” better!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will wind up spilling Ladybug's secret identity to Nino because 'she needs to talk to SOMEONE about this!' (and Mari CLEARLY doesn't count for anything) and trusts her boyfriend.

I would also imagine Alya going on about Marinette’s secret to Nino without explicitly telling him.

Also, this will be an episode in this season because Alya couldn’t even keep it in for ONE SEASON (”Animan” all over again).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Ladybug will be seriously injured during an akuma battle, with circumstances preventing them from winning the fight/repairing the damage with Miraculous Cure right away.  Adrien/Chat Noir attempts to exploit the situation to learn 'his lady's' secret identity.  The narrative REFUSES to call him out on this; it's entirely on Marinette to protect herself by hiding the truth despite her injuries.

Bonus because “Ladybug” seemed to imply that their almost invincible in their suits, though I imagine if they get hurt, it’ll be Chat Noir and used for angst (like in “Miraculer”).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will combine Miraculi more often to cut down on having to track down others all the time and put them in danger.  (And also because the merch guys want more stuff to base toys off of.)  She gets condemned for being a 'glory hound' and 'taught' that she needs to rely upon others more often, no matter what sort of risks that might entail (she'll get blamed for that anyway) or how they might let her down (again, always her fault).

Marinette: *tries not to burden others and instead does what the narrative has convinced her of; bearing the world’s weight alone until she breaks*

show: gOd, mArIneTtE--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir's tendency to screw around, flirt, and not read or work with his allies at all gets Rena Rouge, Vesperia or one of the other heroes hurt.  Naturally, this is played for Sadrien above all else -- if Ladybug or anyone else DARES to show any anger towards him for it, it's depicted as completely unjustified and unfair.  Bonus if the injured party insists that it's okay.

They neeeed Chat Noir to lighten the mood! He’s worth the risk!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: RLBS is kicked off by Marinette being utterly HUMILIATED by Adrien publicly rejecting her once he can't ignore her crush anymore, spurring her to give up on him 'for good'.  Adrien decides that he misses her chasing after him and starts pursuing her, with Alya and others encouraging her to accept his advances/telling her that she's crazy to reject him even after what he did.  Marinette's utter misery over the whole ordeal is treated as HILARIOUS.

It’s not like he mEaNt to embarrass you, Marinette!!!

Marinette didn’t meant to do a lot of things too but you don’t see the show giving her any slack.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir starts treating Alya/Rena Rouge with exactly as much 'respect' as he gives Ladybug -- which is to say, nothing but lip service paired with stunts like refusing to help unless she spills Ladybug's secrets.  Alya naturally blames Marinette for this.

I’m torn on whether he’d “””respect her””” as much as Ladybug or give her even more respect, probably on the premise that “Ladybug chose her,” and that somehow proves that Chat Noir is a good guy in all this (while, again, disrespecting/not trusting Ladybug/making his own decisions at every corner).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir attempts to charm Alya/Rena Rouge into sharing Ladybug's secrets with him, possibly making Nino jealous in the process.

*sees “Rocketear” trailer*

oh no...

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get another 'Bad Future' episode centered on Sadrien; this time around, it features him losing the Ring, painting this popular plotline as a horrible idea because Adrien is Perfect and Never Does Anything Wrong, and should never be punished for his actions.  No matter how it happens, Marinette is blamed for it; bonus if somebody angrily tells her that SHE should have lost HER Miraculous instead.

Wouldn’t be surprised, but that would also mean making a new model of a cat hero.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: It's revealed that part of the reason Alix/Bunnix refuses to share any 'Spoilers' about how the future is 'meant to go' is because Marinette Suffers Incredibly in the process, and Alix knows that she'd try to find some other way... and assumes that she'd fail in the process.  This is treated as entirely valid and Marinette, if she learns that this is part why Bunnix won't tell her shit, has to accept that she's just doomed to be Fate's personal punching bag.  Sucks to be her!

It’s “meant to be.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette/Ladybug is told outright that she's a horrible person for not respecting Chat Noir's feelings for her.  Bonus points if it's Alya, citing Mari's crush on Adrien as proof that she should know how it feels to constantly fail at getting your crush's attention.  (Alternately, Adrien venting to her about how *unfair* it is that Ladybug's so cruel to her partner, unaware of the dramatic irony.)  Triple-7 Jackpot of Shit if this contributes to the RLBS becoming a thing.

UGGGGGH.

And of course Chat Noir wouldn’t get the same treament and it’ll be like, “WELL ADRIEN DOESN’T kNoW sO--”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Instead of Lila, Chloe is revealed to be the next holder of the Butterfly Miraculous. This shows Chloe as "irredeemable" while successfully writing Lila out of the show.

Meanwhile, the writers’ script is frantically scribbled on with red marker.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Reveal that post about Lila being future Hawkmoth was Red Herring (or in this case orange herring)

Dumb herring.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need a burrow;

By the end of the series, Gabriel will have a redemption arc to feel sympathy for him :o

guys he’s so sad don’t you see--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien's inability to choose between the 'love of his life' and the abusive shitbag excuse of a sire who'd just smacked him like a ping-pong ball foreshadows that he will ultimate choose Gabriel after learning that he's Hawk/Shadowmoth.  This will be entirely blamed on Marinette not being able to keep him by her side because 'she didn't love/cherish/appreciate him enough'!

After “Guiltrip” and the whole, “I don’t say this enough--” line, I’d buy it and now I’m sad.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The RLBS is kicked off by Chat Noir switching sides and joining Hawk/Shadowmoth.  Ladybug is forced to appeal to Chat's 'love' for her, with Alya, Tikki, and various other 'friends'/allies blaming her for his defection.  Meanwhile, Sadrien starts pursuing Marinette as an outlet for his mangst, 'unintentionally' making her more miserably conflicted in the process.

She rejected him and therefore he’s in his right to switch sides. She never even gave him a chance!!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien is a Sentimonster/was created by other Miraculous magic by the Agrestes, who desired a 'perfect/model son'.  This is used to further the narrative that his entitlement is actually a Good Thing: Adrien was not MEANT to have any wants/needs/desires of his own, but mysteriously developed them anyway.  Thus Marinette NEEDS to cater to his every whim because it's sO mIrAcUlOuS that he HAS them in the first place.  Hooray...?

His very EXISTENCE is MIRACULOUS, Marinette!!!

Also, Astruc will act like this was amazingly foreshadowed in “Ladybug” where Ladybug comments on Sentibug’s perfection.and with Astruc always called Adrien perfect (either on his own or through other characters).

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Another Shocking Familial Connection is revealed: Felix is not Adrien's cousin, but Gabriel and Emilie's original son, whom they shunted off on her sister and replaced with the 'perfect' Adrien.  50-50 split on whether this is used to excuse all of Felix's shitty behavior or if he's demonized further -- 'See, THIS is why they replaced him!  ANYONE would choose the Perfect Adrien over someone like THAT!'

Why not both????

It’s like the Chloe-Zoe situation but male.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: After learning that Rena Rouge has become Ladybug's confidant, Chat Noir outright REFUSES to help at a critical moment, sneering about how 'you ladies CLEARLY don't need me'.  As with everything else, the blame for his latest stunt is laid neatly at Marinette's feet, because Adrien is never EVER responsible for his own actions.

They’ll probably blame Marinette because Ladybug “didn’t tell him right away.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Circumstances force Adrien to be Mr. Bug again (since they already have the models).  Much is milked from how HAAAAAAAARRRRD his temporary responsibilities are on him, and he reiterates afterwards how happy he is that he doesn't have to deal with that all the time.  No actual sympathy for Ladybug's situation is displayed, though stans treat it as such; what we're actually SHOWN is that Adrien only cares about the burden when HE'S the one stuck carrying it.

As per usual, no one cares about Marinette’s problems until it directly affects THEM, and then they’ll go back to not caring.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: With all of the other abusive behavior Adrien has shown towards Ladybug, it's only a matter of time before we get a 'Why did you make me hit you?' moment.  No akuma influence; just him physically lashing out at her because he's an entitled little shit upset over not getting his way, followed by the inevitable bleating about how bad HE feels and how he'll 'never do it again'.  Naturally, this is presented as though Marinette 'deserved it' and must accept his apology.

Show, don’t do this to me, I swear--

I’d be surprised if this did happen, but more because it’s like wow the lack of self-awareness is even worse than I thought.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get a Very Special Episode about sexual harassment... which not only refuses to acknowledge Adrien's behavior as such, but asserts that he would NEVER touch 'his lady' in any kind of inappropriate fashion.  Bonus: he harasses her in that very same episode to 'prove' that his behavior isn't inappropriate.

So “Felix” but worse...

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: The reason why ML Writers made Zoe an actress is to justify why she managed to recognize that Lila is "Liar that lies" instantly after meeting her.

Waiting for the moment where Zoe talks to Marinette to address Marinette “acting like she’s not in love with Adrien.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Lila steals the Fox Pendant from Alya/does something that affects her *personally*.  Alya then reads Marinette the riot act, demanding to know "Why didn't you WARN ME about her?!"  (None of the times that she DID count because Alya dismissed them as her 'just being jealous', which is, of course, entirely Mari's fault.)  Bonus if we allude back to her claiming that 'good reporters do their research' and how she expected MARI to provide her her with proof of her claims.

Marinette: *thousand yard stare*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: When Lila is exposed, Marinette gets blamed for all the harm she caused with her various deceptions, since she tried to warn others and couldn't convince anyone of the truth.  Adrien 'taking the high road' is largely glossed over; if anyone finds out that HE knew too and never did anything to warn anyone, he's quickly forgiven for 'not knowing any better'.

See, Marinette, if you just hadn’t tRiEd--

And Adrien was just trying to “be nice to everyone equally” so he’s forgiven.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir outright admits that he dislikes Rena/the other heroes being around since they make him feel unnecessary.  This is treated as a perfectly reasonable and valid complaint rather than a slacker piss-moaning about being shown up by others making actual EFFORT.

*flashbacks to “You’re not trying to replace me with a turtle, are you?” after Carapace shows up LITERALLY ONCE*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get a retread of the NYC Special's Angstrian when he accidentally ('accidentally?') Cataclysms Rena/somebody else.  Bonus if the victim once again argues that THEIR experiences/trauma are FAR less important than his.  (Especially if it's Alya, Nino, Max... somebody who ALSO happens to be a character of color temporarily killed off to make the spoiled white rich brat feel sorry for himself.)

It’s an accident and also probably “Ladybug’s fault.”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir skips an akuma attack/shows up late to find it was resolved without him, and mopes about how 'his lady doesn't need him anymore', requiring somebody else to massage his ego.  Bonus points if somebody (likely Ladybug) is demonized for getting annoyed at him for being late/a no-show, because HOW DARE they take defending Paris seriously?!

Well excuse us, Chat, next time we’ll just awkwardly stall for twenty minutes.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir will 'accidentally' Cataclysm one of the protective Charms so that its holder can be akumatized again.  Bonus if he does this to Alya/one of the other heroes.

Probably Chloe.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The protective charms are ultimately rendered effectively pointless when Adrien switches sides and starts using his powers to destroy them.  Naturally, Marinette is held completely responsible for his actions, because God FORBID he ever be called to account for himself.  Not when his 'partner' is around to absorb all the blame.

You didn’t make him feel loVeD, Marinette.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien pulls a Chloe with his own attempt at engineered heroics, putting the lives of others on the line to 'prove his value'.  Ladybug is completely blamed for the stunt; bonus if someone accuses her of 'not learning anything' from what happened with Chloe.

Hate it. Hate it a lot.

We already got him trying to cause/hoping for akuma, so this isn’t too far off.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien gives Zoe better advice for dealing with her bullies.  His policy for handling Chloe and Lila remains the same as ever.  (In other words, only Marinette has to 'be the better person' and keep suffering at the hands of her abusers, since it maintains his preferred status quo.  But it's no skin off his nose if Zoe's situation changes/improves.)

I also imagine that Adrien would give this advice without Marinette onscreen, so Adrien won’t be called out on it.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Alya will reveal Marinette’s identity to someone (possibly Nino) and the show will then punish Marinette for trusting Alya in the first place. Bonus point if the show then says she should have trusted Adrien/Chat Noir because he would never have betrayed her trust.

I’m just remembering the fandom’s complaints and wow I hate it.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Ladybug Miraculous basically change into Poor man's version of Green Lantern's Ring

*stares at the phone in “Optigami” that somehow picks up on the kwamis’ voices* hm

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Marinette will look through the future and see one where she and Luka get together, except it’s portrayed as bad and abusive, more so if he knows her secret identity, and the only way for her to escape it is by getting with Chat Noir(and not...you know, anybody else. Or being single. Or MAKING THE RELATIONSHIP WORK!!!). Chat Noir sees it too, and gloat about in her face, since it proved that they were “meant for each other, m’lady!” Bonus points if someone calls Thomas Ass Truck out on this shit, and he either replies that it was the best thing to do, claims it doesn’t matter how Lukanette is treated/the love square ends up together because they’re “made for each other” anyway, or even tries to pass it off as “girl power”, because how could we let the female lead get with the respe—oops, I mean abusive guy over the one who treats her te—oops, I mean respectfully and like a “gentleman” would?! And then he’ll follow up by blocking them for daring to question the Ridiculous Relationship Rhombus and respect the “non-endgame” ship. Even wor—oops! I mean, better, if love square shippers use this opportunity to gloat about how “I always knew Adrien and Marinette(notice how they always place his name first?!) were perfect for each other, Luka wasn’t good enough for Marinette, take that, Lukanette shippers!” declaring it “anti-salt”.

bfgkdjfgdfg god

Also, the only problem with this idea is that it would mean making an adult model for Luka.

Bonus if another “disadvantage” to Marinette dating Luka is that Luka isn’t high class.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will be told outright to 'Get over yourself' and stop bringing up valid complaints about Chat Noir's shitty behavior, as the series becomes increasingly overt with its subtext about how one of Marinette's Biggest Mistakes is having STANDARDS.

Ignoring that Luka exists, of course, and if it’s mentioned that Luka exists then cue, “OH BUT SHE DOESN’T AAAACTUALLY LOVE LUKA.”

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need Burrow: SentiWiFi (Lady WiFi Sentimonster)

SentiEveryone at this point...

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Nino is again robbed of screentime by Sentimonster based on him.

*sees “Sentibubbler” title and trailer*

Did--did you predict the future??

...I mean, we’ve been doing that the whole time, but damn.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will continue shoving Marinette towards Adrien, then mockingly ask 'Didn't you want to give romance a break?' or something along those lines.  Showing that not only is she fully aware of Marinette's wishes and doesn't give a damn, but implicitly blaming Marinette for her inability to stick to them, despite how SHE is the one forcing the issue.

“We all know that you WANT HIM, Marinette! Stop denying yourself!!!”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: When Marinette gets a spot of hope regarding her relationship woes, Alya leaps in to take all the credit for the apparent success.  Once the light turns out to be an incoming Drama Train that blindsides Marinette and leaves her humiliated and heartbroken, Alya insists that it's entirely MARI's fault that things went off the rails.

Waiting for a line from Alya about how she’s doing everything right and Marinette must be really hopeless if Alya’s schemes aren’t working...

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya and Nino will get into a bit of Relationship Drama in order to further reinforce the series' double standards.  (Such as 'It's OK for boys to lie, but girls shouldn't have any secrets.'  Or 'Boys can hold grudges, but girls must forgive every trespass.'  Or 'Girls shouldn't told boys to impossible standards like expecting to be treated with basic human decency.')  Bonus points if Marinette gets blamed for it.

Yup.

Yup.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The subtext about Marinette not deserving a GOOD love interest is further emphasized by Kagami and Luka getting together.  Kagami comments on how she can trust Luka not to lie to her; this is the closest she gets to explaining to Marinette WHY she broke things off with Adrien in the first place.  After all, it doesn't matter if Adrien lies to Marinette; they're 'meant for each other'.

I’m still not over Kagami saying that the guy who lied to her is “made for” her only friend????

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe learns a valuable lesson about the importance of Being Herself with Luka's help, teasing the idea of the two of them getting together.

“Bonus” for Marinette saying that Zoe and Luka are made for each other.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chat Noir deliberately strings Vesperia along in a ploy to make Ladybug jealous.  Zoe is naturally heartbroken when she learns the truth.  Her pain is blamed entirely on Marinette, since Adrien can NEVER be held accountable for his own actions.

Ladybug, you should’ve seen this coming!!

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow (kinda?), Astruc apparently is aware that his perfect Adrien is flawed as Chat Noir (he said so on twitter), and I fear that if anyone ever asks him why the two sides of Adrien so different, he'll reveal that the cat miraculous changes the holder's personality or some shit, which will cause "Anti Adrien Salt" to explode, screaming "the salter's claims aren't valid anymore, it's not Adrien's fault, it's the miraculous!!!1!!111!!!!¡¡!¡¡¡!!!"

I feel like he denied that back when he still had a Tumblr but gosh I’m just waiting for it to be confirmed because FANON THEORIES.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien gets a taste of what Marinette goes through constantly when he/Chat Noir suffers a bit of minor humiliation over his crush.  His pain and angst over this is played DEAD SERIOUS, treated as though he's suffering through the WORST THING EVER even though whatever happened pales in comparison to what Marinette has endured.  Anyone who dares so much as chuckle at what happened is villainized, since only a MONSTER would find his suffering funny.

I’m seething.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Return of Sentibug (for fanservice)

Bonus if they kill her off again. Something something “only one Ladybug” something.

neyla9 asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: So if Zoe gets sent to a new boarding school after being in Paris for a few months (there is a chance the writers will just completely ignore that this was established in Sole Crusher, in which case this probably won't happen), I predict that Zoe was brought in specifically to redeem Chloe, rubbing it in Marinette's face that she failed at redeeming Chloe, and force Marinette to give Chloe the bee miraculous back

Most likely. Apparently needed to bring someone else in to make Marinette feel worse.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien abandons/ditches his responsibilities as a hero because he's too busy sulking over his ego being bruised by some slight (real or imagined).  Marinette is naturally blamed for this.

Oh, of course!

Marinette probably had to be late for patrol so he was intentionally late for something, and then was like well you did it to me, so--

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe will get another tiresome 'Will she or won't she be redeemed?' arc, only to backstab/betray everyone again.  Astruc will preen and croon on social media about how gullible anyone that thinks she could ever be redeemable is.  Bonus points if Chloe's damning act that proves she's unsalvageable is something ADRIEN has done.

Meanwhile, Nino is back here absolutely collecting DUST!!!

I guess you gotta be a horrible person/make Marinette suffer to get screen time.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloe will discover Vesperia's secret identity and steal the Bee Miraculous, then spitefully out Zoe so that SHE can't be a heroine anymore.

Marinette is running out of teens at this point but finding new ones would mean more models.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe is used to teach Marinette that she's too harsh on others for lying, and should accept that they can be dishonest sometimes.  (Especially Adrien.)  As a natural follow-up, Marinette is blamed/punished for falling for a friend's lies -- because CLEARLY it's not Alya/Adrien/anyone else's fault if she believes their bullshit!

No one’s perfect, Marinette! People are human!!

...Except you, of course.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Despite the incident with SentiNino, Shadow Moth will *successfully* obtain a miraculous by using the same trick.  Bonus points if it's Marinette/Ladybug who falls for it... though really, she'll be blamed regardless.

Double bonus if she doesn’t fall for it but it still goes through.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: The 'Shocking Twist' of Adrien/Chat Noir betraying Team Miraculous and joining his father will be presented as though it's entirely Marinette/Ladybug's fault, with Adrien acting as though he Had No Choice and angsting about being 'forced' to betray his lady and friends.  The series never acknowledges how self-serving his motives actually are, and any call-outs he gets are treated as Wrong and Awful and Blaming Poor Innocent Victim Adrien.

“hE’s jUsT tRyinG tO sAvE hIs mOm”

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: 'Borrowing' from many a Salt Fic, Marinette will thank her for 'proving who my *real* friends are'.  This entails giving Adrien, Alya and possibly others credit for always standing by her, believing in her, and various other things that they never actually did.

I’m presuming “her” means “everyone”/”the girl squad” and yup.

Better tell than show I guess.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will be retconned into having 'never believed anything Lila said'.  Or at least, she will CLAIM that she never believed her.

I WILL BE SO UPSET

Also prepared for them to handwave it, like, “oh whatever, now I’m helping you since I know so it’s all good!”

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need Burrow: Similarities between Luka and Zoe were only red herring. Zoe will become Kagami's new love interest (and Kagami and Zoe's dynamic will be suspiciously similar do Fanon!Marigami)

But that would imply they care enough about LGBT rep.

Though they could always pull a Voltron and slip it in at the very end.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will suffer the toll/backlash from using multiple Miraculi ONLY for the sake of making that her Latest Mistake. Her past successes are only acknowledged as a way of painting her as arrogant for assuming she could continue doing so safely.

She’ll probably be yelled at and told not to “keep doing everything herself” even though that’s what the narrative keeps telling her to do.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien discovers his father's secret identity and hides it... and this is painted as an act of incredible self-sacrifice rather than selfishness.  Rather than treating it as a betrayal of Ladybug/Team Miraculous, the series focuses on his angst and 'inner struggle', pretending there's something heroic about him refusing to expose Hawkmoth and potentially put an end to his terrorizing Paris.

:|

Deep breaths, Clarity.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: Alya will get to keep her boyfriend despite her being involved with the miraculous box n stuff, unlike Marinette. Why, you ask? Easy, the bond between Luka and Mari just isn't sTrOnG eNoUgH for them to last through difficult times, like Alya and Nino do so easily.

Ignoring that Marinette and Luka only just got together and also that Marinette has it WAY different than Alya.

But no I guess. Adrien and Marinette are “made for each other” so gotta discredit Lukanette whenever. Marinette isn’t allowed to be happy, we know.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: The one time Marinette gets a break from akumas and her responsibilities all hell breaks loose and the lesson for that episode will be that Marinette and Marinette alone must carry the burden of being Ladybug and Guardian.

Marinette: *gets five minutes of sleep*

Paris: *catches on fire*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow (Can I do two at once?): "Crocoduel" will not acknowledge the Lukanette breakup at all, and the titular Akuma will just be Guitar Villain and Captain Hardrock again.

(You’re allowed two, absolutely!)

I’d like to add as well that, even if they do acknowledge the Lukanette breakup, Marinette will talk to Luka about it but then be like, “I’m not focusing on love right now and I’m too busy so I’m sorry for everything that happened,” even as everyone keeps pushing for the love square.

[colormeyondublue]

First fic ever! Honest feedback time!

This is my first ever fan fiction and I want your complete honesty. If you love it, great! If you hate it, that’s totally fine! If you have any tips or suggestions for a first time writer let me know!

Secrets: Yondu x Reader

A/u where Yondu survived Ego, and the guardians are still aboard the quadrant....

For a couple months now, Mantis could tell something was wrong with her best friend. You were always so cheery and up-beat. You would never tell her what was bothering you, no matter how much she asked. This was completely unlike you because you always told Mantis everything. She wanted to know what was making you feel and act so weary and tired. You seemed so stressed and the others started to notice too. Anytime someone would ask what was bothering you, you would just shrug it off and make something up. But the excuses were getting old.

“Come on y/n, I bet you would feel so much better if you just got it off your chest.” Peter poked you in the side as he bugged you about it for what felt like the millionth time. “Plus, I’m just super curious now. You’ve been sulking for weeks.”

“Just leave me alone Peter!” You snapped. You winced at your words and then took a deep breath. He was just trying to help. It’s not his fault you felt this way. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just dealing with something personal right now, and I would prefer to do it on my own.”

You heard those signature clunking boots come through the doorway behind you, “Do what on yer own?” Yondu asked with his hands on his hips and a quizzical look on his face.

Yondu and Kraglin were still hanging out on the Quadrant with the Guardians since the events with Ego. They were in the process of getting a new ship and a new crew after Yondu blew their old crew to all hell.

“Nothing. It’s absolutely nothing, Yondu.” You were irritated. Yondu was the one person you didn’t want to push away, but you felt like you had no other choice. You tried to push past him and leave the room, but his large hand caught your shoulder.

He looked you dead in the face, and you turned your eyes from him. You couldn’t keep your knees in check if you caught those crimson eyes for too long. His voice was low, “Hey, we don’t do solo missions and we don’t work alone. Ya got something ya have to do, ya take someone with ya. Ya already know that.”

“This isn’t about some mission.” You kept your stare at the floor between your feet as you continued. “I’m not going anywhere, just - leave me alone.” You pulled your shoulder away and quickly returned to your bunk.

You walked into the cabin that you and Mantis shared, throwing yourself onto the bottom bunk in a huff. You let out a long sigh with your face in the pillow. You were too emotional to think straight. You’ve never felt so many conflicting emotions at once and it was driving you insane! If you didn’t vent soon, you’d explode. Nervousness, happiness, guilt...the list goes on. Nervous, because Yondu gives you butterflies to which the likes couldn’t be described. Happy, because you get to spend every single day around him...but on the other hand you feel guilty because you don’t want to put anyone in a weird position. He’s Basically Peter and Kraglin’s dad! His age didn’t bother you one bit, but you certainly didn’t want to ruin any family dynamics going on around the ship. You could accept the truth in your head, but saying it out loud was a whole other matter. The truth was, you had fallen in love. Stupid, annoying, nerve wracking, inconvenient, love. Everything about this situation was so messed up.

Part of you wanted to just give in and fall straight into the arms of the man you’d fallen for. The other half of you was screaming at you to keep your mouth shut. So far, the screaming side of you has been winning. You honestly didn’t think he would return your feelings, and you genuinely thought he was way out of your league. He was brave, strong, smart, cunning, and downright gorgeous. You were short, clumsy, a little curvy, and the weakest of the team. The only thing you had going for you (and the only reason you were able to join the team) was your incredible shooting abilities. Back on Terra, you were super talented with firearms. The transition from guns to blasters wasn’t too bad. You knew Terran guns inside and out. You were definitely a good shot, and you weren’t afraid of anything - except maybe your feelings for the Centaurian on board. Over your time with the guardians you got really good with intergalactic weapons, with some help from Rocket of course.

“Y/n..........Y/N!”

You jumped out of your thoughts, sat up in your bunk and looked frantically at Mantis who was eagerly trying to get your attention. “Are you okay?” She asked with a curious, yet concerned, expression on her face.

“Ugh, yes, Mantis. I’m fine. For the thousandth time, I’m just fine.”

“I don’t believe you. Something is wrong, and you leave me no choice. You mean a great deal to me, and I need to help. I am very sorry, but I feel I have to do this.”

Before you could get another word in, Mantis had her hands gripped around your wrist. Just as you began to pull away, her antennae glowed their bright yellow light and her eyes burst open to look at you.

“Mantis, please, you are my best friend in this entire galaxy. Probably in the entire universe - you cannot tell anyone!”

She stared at you, wide eyed. She couldn’t believe what she felt. So many emotions at once. It was such a surprise! Regardless, she was very excited for you.

“Y/n, this is so exciting! It is happy news. But, also confusing. You feel so many things. Why must this be a secret?”

“Because!” You shouted, a little louder than you intended. “Mantis, this isn’t what you think. If this gets around it could jeopardize the entire team. He may not feel the same way I do, and that would be a humiliating disaster. Look, if it helps, all you have to do is wait until Yondu and Kraglin are able to leave with their own ship and crew, and then once that happens you can shout it to the stars. Deal?”

A low, raspy voice travels through the doorway interrupting your conversation, “so, what happens when Kraglin and I get our own ship and leave?”

You and mantis snap your heads toward the door with nervous expressions. Yondu’s presence and voice sends a chill down your spine. Butterflies are bursting into a frenzy in your stomach. You both just stare at him, completely unsure of what to say.

“Well?!” He boomed. “Why ‘ave ya been acting so fidgety ‘round me lately? And wha’s sis ‘bout waiting fer me and Kraglin ta leave?”

Mantis looked at you, then back at Yondu, and back at you again. “Y/n, you know I care for you very much, and you are my best friend, but I think this is something you two need to talk about.” With that, she ducked past Yondu and fled the room.

You stood up and yelled at her as she ran, “THANKS BESTIE! I’LL GET RIGHT ON THAT!”

You turned to look at Yondu, who was still sporting that classic scowl he wears all the time.

“What?” You snapped. You seriously hated being so crass with him, but building walls was your specialty, and it was the only way to protect this weird little family you’d grown to love. If Yondu ever found out how you felt, it could all come crashing down. Not only could you lose him, but everyone else too.

He eyed you suspiciously, “Ya know, I only known you for a coupl’a months, and you don’t seem right. Mind tellin’ me what that’s ‘bout?”

“No.” You said flatly. “I have nothing to tell.” Heat was rising to your cheeks as you lied right through your teeth.

“Ya lyin’. You’s a bad liar ya know it?”

“I’m not lying.”

“Fine, if ya won’t tell me, I guess I’ll go pry the information I need outta poor little ol’ Mantis.”

“Leave her out of this! She doesn’t know anything.”

“Ah, so there is somethin’? I knew you was lyin’.”

You began to get defensive. “Yondu! UGH just stay out of it! I don’t need to tell you anything! I don’t want to tell you anything.”

Yondu turned his back on you as if he were going to leave. You felt a quick moment of relief until you heard the door slam shut and the bolt click into the door frame. Shit.

He turned to face you again, he took one large stride toward you, and now he was just inches from you. Those butterflies from earlier were trying to come up your throat, but it was getting so tight you could barely breathe. Your mouth was dry, and you swallowed hard to push them back down.

“Now, ya gonna tell me what I wanna know. Why’sit so important that Kraglin and I leave? You plannin’ somethin’?” His voice was intimidating and came out as a rumble. His words made you realize that, even after all this time with the Guardians, he still didn’t trust you completely.

You put on your best poker face and said, “No, I’m not planning something. Stop being paranoid. I would never hurt anyone on this team. Especially not you!” You froze at your last words. Damn it...maybe he won’t think too much into it.

His eyes blazed into yours for what felt like an eternity. You broke eye contact by rolling your eyes and scoffed, “Ugh - I don’t need this.” You tried to push past him and unlock the door, but it was no use. He caught your arm and pulled you back to him. His touch lit your entire body on fire.

“Ohhh ho, no ya don’t. You ain’t gettin’ outta this. Spill. Now. There ain’t no secrets on this ship.”

“But you aren’t the Captain here, Peter is.” You protested.

He shrugged and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Okay, yer right. I’m not the Captain here. But I am the one you’ll hafta get pass’ to unlock the door.”

“You’re so infuriating! Why are you even on this?! Why is this so important to you?!” You could feel yourself getting more and more defensive.

“I don’t like secrets.” Yondu said matter of factly.

Of course he doesn’t, you thought to yourself. He just dealt with a pretty nasty mutiny a few months ago. With a deep breath you relaxed, “Look, all I’ll say is this: I am not planning anything, I am not going to hurt anyone, and you really don’t need to worry. I’m going through some personal stuff and, like I told Peter, I just want to deal with it on my own.”

He pondered your words for a moment. “Fine.”

“Fine?” You asked.

“Yep, fine.” He turned to unlock the door and walked out, leaving the door open behind him.

That was definitely weird. He let it go just like that. It wasn’t like him to just let stuff go. You decide to keep to yourself for the rest of the day, buried in your thoughts.

Yondu, however, was not done with this. He waited a while before making his move. After an hour or so he went to find Mantis. She was up front on the flight deck chatting with Drax.

“Mantis, come ‘ere. I need to ask you somethin’.”

She looked at the Centaurian hesitantly. She stood and walked to him, fiddling with her hands. “Did you and y/n talk about what’s been bothering her? It was such a surprise to me, but I am very happy! I hope she will be happy too. You are a very good man.” She said discreetly.

Yondu just stared at her, totally lost. Mantis picked up on his confusion rather quickly. She began to fidget and shift nervously.

She leaned in and whispered softly so Drax wouldn’t hear, “She did not tell you? Oh, no. Well, I cannot tell you anything. I am her best friend and she is mine and I will not tell!”

Yondu lowered his voice as well, “Look girl, I’m juss as worried about ‘er as you are. All I’m askin’ is for a way to help.”

Mantis thought his words over, and hesitated. “I don’t know...she seemed very intent that you never find out. If she didn’t tell you, I don’t know if I should.”

“Come on girl, ya wanna make sure she’s alright, right? I thought you’s was friends. Besides, I sorta have an idea of what’s goin’ on anyways. Juss tell me.”

Mantis’s big, innocent heart won her over and she decided it would be best to tell him if it meant helping you.

“Y/n has been experiencing very much stress and anxiety because she likes you. More than likes you, loves you. There is very much love and sexual desire. She is nervous, excited, and happy, and angry, and sad, and feels guilty too. I felt it all right before you walked in on us talking about her conflicting emotions. It was very confusing. I certainly would not like feeling that way. She is afraid that if you found out, you would reject her and she would have to leave. But...I don’t want her to leave.” Mantis slumped her shoulders at her last words.

Yondu didn’t know what to say. You liked him? Loved him even? But why all that other stuff too? He had to find out. No more games, no more secrets. “Thanks girl, ya been a big help.” Yondu patted her shoulder and walked from the flight deck back to the bunking area.

Yondu sighed and knocked softly on the door. “Mantis, I told you I’m not talking anymore! I’m fine!”

The door quietly opened. “It ain’t Mantis.” Yondu said gently. “Can I come in?”

You sit up on your bunk and look at him, “Sure, feel free to lock the door while you’re at it.” You said sarcastically.

He grinned over his shoulder at you, and locked the door. “You and I gotta talk.”

You begin to panic, it’s happening. He knows, Mantis squealed. “What did Mantis say? I told her not to say anything!”

“Don’t blame her, it ain’t her fault. I made her tell me.” Yondu said with a sly smirk. “So - now that it’s out there, let’s talk.”

The butterflies were back in an instant and about to burst out of your mouth, but what came out instead was just plain sad, “Let’s just get this over with. You’re gonna tell me you know how I feel about you, and then I’m gonna say ‘yeah it’s true, I do like you - like a lot’, and then you’re gonna say, ‘well, sorry, I don’t feel the same way’, and then I’ll take that rejection and shove it way down into the depths of my soul. After that, you turn around and walk out, and I start packing. Okay, great. Are we done?” You stood up and walked toward your trunk that contained your belongings to hide your humiliation and distract yourself.

Yondu looked at you with slight surprise on his face and chuckled. “Uhh no. That ain’t what I was gonna say at all. What I was gonna say was, ‘m flattered. Truly. Women ain’t exactly chasin’ after me these days. I’m just a washed up ravager. No crew, no ship, and I ain’t as young as I used ta be.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he continued. “A pretty young thing like yasself shouldn’t be pinin’ over someone like me. I ain’t worth it.”

You snapped your head his direction and almost yelled, “EXcUSe ME?! Not worth it?! Do you even hear yourself?”

The Centaurian stood there, dumbfounded as you continued.

“Do you have any idea who you are?!” Here it comes - word vomit. You couldn’t stop, it all came pouring out like dumping water out of a bucket. “You are Captain Yondu Udonta. The fiercest Captain of the 100 Ravager Clans! You’re known across the galaxy! You have more experience in open space navigation, survival, and armed combat than I could ever dream of having. You’re incredibly strong, and cunning, and more charming than any man I’ve ever met. AND you’re just plain handsome. Not to mention that arrow of yours! Don’t ever sell yourself short, because you are more than worth it....if anything, I’m not worth it!

Before you could continue your rant, Yondu quickly stepped toward you, whirled you around and pulled you away from your trunk to kiss you passionately. His lips were the perfect combination of rough, yet soft. He tasted strongly of whiskey, and his hands roamed over your body until one twisted its way into your hair and the other pulled you into him by your waist. The kiss was open mouthed, hot, needy, and absolutely perfect. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back desperately and you felt a little chuckle fall from his lips as he pulled away, leaving you breathless.

“Ya have no idea how long I’ve been wantin’ ta do that.” He said.

“How long?”

“A few weeks after Peter introduced us. Ya started ta really prove yaself with this group a misfits, an’ the rest of ‘em really took to ya. Including me. I never imagined ya’d be fond of someone like me.”

You both stood in your bunk area holding one another closely. “Well, I have to be honest, I didn’t expect this to happen in a million years.” You admitted.

Yondu pushed you to arms length to get a better look at you. “Why’s that?” He asked.

“Well I mean....look at me? I’m just a dumb little Terran. I’m weak and I barely know anything about space. I’m so new to it all, and I don’t exactly fit in around here. You guys have such incredible abilities and talents. I’m just...me. Terran. What I wouldn’t give to be like...I don’t know, Gamora. She’s breathtakingly beautiful and a total badass! I’ve been contemplating going back to Earth anyway because I just feel like I’m holding you all back.”

Yondu looked over your body and face admiringly and said softly, “I am lookin’ atcha, and none ‘a that’s true. I’m glad your here, and I’m sure as hell glad we met.” He grinned down at you, showing off those gold capped teeth. He leaned in to kiss you once more, deeply.

He pulled away lightly to whisper on your lips, “I can show ya everythin ya ever wanted to see, and teach ya everythin ya ever wanted to learn about bein’ out here.

I ain’t lettin’ you get away.”

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

Texted Love

Henry Cavill x Fem! Reader

Part 6

Central Masterlist | Texted Love

You wanted to say you were used to the flashing lights but in truth, you definitely weren't. Each burst of white blinding your gaze. Your eyes ached tremedously as they strained to continue looking forward, you could feel a massive headache coming in. You really wanted to get out of there as fast as your heels could take you.

Although you had to admit, the attention was divine and intoxicating.

Walking up to red carpeted steps with the help of your dear assistant, who by the way looked absolutely ravishing in his velvet purple suit, you swiftly made your way to the top. Overjoyed at the fat that you had not experience the traumatizing affair that was tripping on the carpet in front of thousands of international cameras. Ugh, the memes they would make.

Just as you were about to head through the main entrance, a familiar voice reached your jeweled ears. Glancing to your right, the faint squeals of Liza Koshy brought a smile to your face as she spoke into her microphone, " Holy cow, it's (Y/n) (L/n)! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Damn look at her dress! Yes queen!" Giggling at her fangirling, you sauntered over to her. Enjoying the glimmers of joy in the young woman's eyes.

"Hello Liza." Your voice smooth like honey.

"Oh my- Hi (Y/n)! How we feeling today?" Her smile was contagious. You shook your head, a tired look on your face.

"Lights are making me dizzy and I'm tired and hungry. What about you my darling dove?" Both her and the cameraman laughed at your honesty.

"I'm doing great thank you for asking. I gotta ask, who are you wearing cause this dress is outta this world." Leaning into her, you were mindful of not "eating the microphone".

"I'm wearing Versace. But not only was the dress designed by them but, of course, the jewelry and purse." You showed her your bracelet, the white diamonds matching the pearliness of your teeth.

"Say (Y/n), I've heard a few things about a certain someone~ Wink wink." You giggled. For some reason, anytime you spoke about him, you seemed to have more energy than ever.

"You mean babyboy Henry?" Liza made a face as she let out a loud 'Ooo'.

"Have ya'll been talking?" Her voice was filled with excitement. You nodded causing the girl to squeal in delight at getting some tea.

"You heard it here folks! The ship has sailed!" You laughed, holding onto your abdomen as your whole body shook with each laugh.

"I wouldn't say its sailed yet. We're just talking. Hell, we haven't even met yet." She made a 'I-don't-believe-you' face, sassily placing her hand on your hip as she put all her body weight to one foot. You chuckled.

"Still, there's already a fandom." Your eyes widened in both horror and pure happiness.

"You jest!" She shook her head, her black locks moving back and forth like silk in the wind.

"I do not jest m'lady."

"Oh god. I don't know whether to be horrified or not...well...hmmm... As long as fanart has yet to exist I guess we're good." The reporter made a face to which made you have a moment of lapsed judgement.

"Bitch what the fuck ya'll work fast." Upon realizing your mistake you gave her a sheepish smile, apologizing for your sailor's mouth. Hopefully they bleeped that out.

The two of you spoke some more despite many interruptions made by your assistant. You genuinely enjoyed the young youtuber's presence, it was warm and bubbly just like her. Unfortunately, all things must come to an end. It was just as you were about to walk away when the she asked," Is there anything you'd like to tell Mr. Cavill at this moment?"

Acquiring a new sense of boldness, you nodded. A wicked smirk coming to sit upon your painted lips.

"Henry I don't even know why you bother, you can't handle this." You teased as you ran your hands down the curves of your body with a lopsided grin. Giving a kiss goodbye to your newfound friend, you walked away from the camera. Finally entering the main building, you were sat down near the stage, beside some other actors you had yet to see on the big screens. Or most likely, they were already on the big screen but you just didn't know considering that you don't really watch TV or movies as much as the regular person.

Opening your bag, you pulled out your phone, pushing back the many Wendy's receipts that were already lazily stuffed in there as an effort to have an alibi in the unlikely case that you get caught committing a crime.

Unlocking the device, a lopsided grin overtook your features the moment you gazed into your notifications bar. An oh so familiar username lighting up through the pixels.

.

...

.

Instagram 7:50pm

(henrycavill): (u/n): Too much to handle? Is that a challenge?

.

...

.

You laughed. Tapping on it, you unlocked the phone allowing for it to take you to the origin of the message.

.

...

.

(U/n): (henrycavill): What? You actually think you can handle me? Dunno bout that mate

.

...

.

He replied fast. 

.

...

.

(henrycavill): (U/n): Oh I know I can handle you. Also nice dress, fits you well ;)

.

...

.

You rolled your eyes, a charming smirk settling upon your lips. You could feel your cheeks flush with heat as blushed rushed into them.

.

...

.

(U/n): (henrycavill): Thank you doll. What are you doing rn?

(henrycavill): (U/n): Just doing some things for the Witcher.

(U/n): (henrycavill): Big oof. Loved the first season, can't wait for more. If we meet you gotta be wearing both the contacts and the hair cuz 👌

(henrycavill): (U/n): hehehe

(henrycavill): (U/n):  What would you do if I did? 😏

.

...

.

You couldn't help but giggle. Catching wandering eyes on your figure, you sent the owner's a little sensual shrug before glancing over to Terry, who stood not so far from you. At the moment, he was ordering some Champagne for the two of you.

He mouthed, Is it him? You puckered your lips, feigning a shy glance to the side before looking back up at the lean male. It seemed that the response was exactly what he wanted for his eyes shined brighter than freaking supernovas. Quickly grabbing both your drinks, he swiftly made his way over to you in long strides.

You proceeded to look back at the screen upon hearing your friend pull out the chair beside you after having put down the drink on the inky black silk tablecloth.

.

...

.

(U/n): (henrycavill): 😜 we’ll find out when we cross that bridge lol 

(henrycavill): (U/n): smh. We will meet. How could I not want to meet my celebrity crush? ;)

.

...

.

Seriously, the audacity of this man. Like hOW COULD HE?

Playing with my emotions and not my puss-

...

(A/N): Sorry this is short.

Taglist:

@peachy-aisha @josiejosie0 @alwayshave-faith @hista-girl @sleepyxcoffee @akropodeti @artsxpe @ju-lehnsherr @jessyballet @snowbellexx @fanfictionaddiction99 @barikawho @thummbelina @amberparker18 @tinawritesstuff​ @doozywoozy​ 

Hope you enjoyed!

[phdna]

TFatWS episode 5 keysmashing below!

What do you mean it's the second to last episode? No.

Mr Wyatt Russell acted the hell outta that opening scene. I mean, he was on fire the whole episode, but the opening scene just reminded me so much of the unhinged Walker from the comics that it was extra special to see. Walker was never a character I cared about reading comics but I'm not immune to geeking out over him

Bucky unconscious so Sam has to fight a supersoldier by himself for a while? Thank you Marvel I love it when Sam gets to shine!

That being said, it feels so viscerally wrong to fight over a bloody shield. There are many correct ways to make this shield switch hands but this is definitely NOT one of them.

Bucky "I am not afraid to throw a tantrum to make a point" Barnes needs to learn how to not take two steps back with Sam whenever he takes one forward. If next episode he does something stupid again, I'm gonna cry

SAM. Why does Mackie have to destroy my heart so much??? This might be worse than the end of episode 1!!! He looked so devastated after that fight, I felt zero satisfaction knowing the shield is back with him

The soundtrack also didn't help. Like at all. That song always has me tearing up even out of context - in context it was a lot

My baby Joaquin Torres is back! He's such a cute kid. And apparently the new Falcon! And he doesn't even have to look like a bird to get the mantle! Hope he gets himself a Redwing too!

What... What is the Contessa doing here. I need answers.

Karli needs both a hug and to be stopped. That's going to be tricky. Like, stopping her is a priority, of course, she's a full-blown terrorist now... but how to handle her after she's stopped? No way she'll trust Sam easily again, but he's her best option, so :/ I hope this doesn't have an unhappy ending, I really do

I still have no idea why the hell Bucky would feel he has to make amends with Zemo (am I missing something???) but all I care about is that the Dora have Zemo as they should, and Bucky and Ayo seem to be alright-ish

Eli! Didn't expect he'd make a comeback in this show!

"If you ain't bitter, you blind" goes down as one of the best lines in the show. I don't make the rules.

The entire Isaiah sequence was... Heavy. As it should be. But that was hard to watch

Sarah and Sam bickering nonstop whenever they're together is so cute, I want a whole movie about them and nothing else

A community looking after each other??? Did you mean my favorite trope of all time that always makes me tear up???

Bucky showing up and awkwardly trying to show he supports Sam while aggressively glaring is adorable. Baby steps are hard!

I'm sorry, Sam, but I now ship Bucky and Sarah, they're pretty cute around each other

Bucky: It's time for me to leave and stay in a cold hotel room with no friends no family nothing that matters in my life I have no home nobody cares whether I live or die alas I know no one in the area who has a couch I can borrow so I'm doomed to this bitter fate

Walker doesn't deserve the Hoskins family. (Although the hill I'll die on is that he wouldn't have become such a horrible villain if the government hadn't made him Cap, so he's only like... 80% to blame)

Aw man, Sarah's kids playing with the shield was just the cutest thing I've ever seen. (And Bucky waking up from nightmares on the floor of his empty apartment vs waking up in a HOME to the sight of children being happy and loving what the shield stands for?? Ugh, my heart!)

Anyway I would die for any member of the Wilson family

Oh, so Bucky was in on Steve's plans, canonically. I've always thought so but it's nice to have it spelled out. Anyway, good on Bucky for using his words and apologizing to Sam! Long time coming and very necessary! I hope this is an ongoing thing, even if offscreen, and that he learns how to do better in the future

And Bucky genuinely opening up about how he's been feeling and Sam responding to him so warmly and wisely? Helped him in like 5 minutes more than any of his court-mandated therapy ever did. Sam is amazing

Sam and Bucky speed running from "we're sort of partners maybe" to "we're bffs now" through the power of fixing a boat and throwing a metal frisbee sparks so much joy

Sam and Sarah talking towards the end of the episode was so sweet and I was so happy to see Sam finally getting the support he deserves

Shield training montage!!!! Cool as hell!!!!!!

Batroc just won't stop oh my god how many times will they have to beat him

Speaking of which... Sharon. Honey you know I love you but you're way out of line. Just... god. What a mess, I'm not looking forward to this and I'm... Having doubts Marvel will handle it well

Can't believe they wouldn't let us see Sam wearing his new uniform today!!!! That's evil!!!

Walker DIYing a shield show be menacing but somehow it was so funny. Like... "I'M EVIL NOW!!!! Let me go buy spray paint."

I.... Honestly think I would have preferred the whole show to be more like this episode. Sam is a really fascinating character and this episode more than most explores that

[fanfictiondreamscape]

Watching Hedgehogs Forming an Army

Title: Watching Hedgehogs Forming an Army

Genre: C O M E D Y. (seriously, that is what it mostly is. I could write something romantic in this, but the title is just-)

Pairing: Izaya/Shizuo/Masaomi/Mikado x reader (all separate)

Notes: Okay, so before you start reading, do note that this whole idea is coming from a random thing I sent out to my friends on Snapchat. (Remind me to proceed with caution if I ever decide to do this again.)

Otherwise, I had been wanting to write something for DRRR for a while, and this gave me the most in depth idea for the specific characters and just- ugH, IDEA GOLD. 

Below the cut! 

Izaya Orihara

the fact that you and him got together was a mystery to the whole of Shinjuku and Ikebukuro. 

seriously, this man is notorious for playing with people’s emotions and desires

so how the hell did he snag someone as nice as you?

no clue, but what they didn’t know is that you played with him

turn the game on its head, y’know? 

that said, you two rarely ever went out on dates that weren’t at more upscale places.

one date? five star restaurant, VIP room. managed to snag free drinks for the both of you while he was at it.

another one? laying low at one of your homes, though there was a plethora of gourmet foods that he had shipped from out of country 

(by some damn magic - you didn’t know, and didn’t care to ask)

otherwise, when things as simple as this happened, things came easy to the both of you

some ice cream for you, a black coffee for him, and the two of you skipping through the park happily.

this particular day, though, you saw something very sus

there was an outrageous amount of hedgehogs gathered.

no reason, no purpose whatsoever, just gathering in a corner of the park.

izaya didn’t notice the meetup until he noticed that you weren’t beside him.

with his eyebrows raised, shocked

he then saw you, slack-jawed, watching a hoard of hedgehogs

the general image just drove him to laugh, but you heard him

and you jumped to stop him. 

“shut up, don’t say a single word.”

“i wasn’t planning on it, but now that you mention it-” 

cue you shoving a hand over his mouth to stop him from doing anything

you both just watched the group

nothing more, nothing less.

there was the odd sip of coffee or spoonful of ice cream, but otherwise? 

just staring. 

“do you think they’re getting ready to fight someone?”

“i don’t know, s/o, are they?”

“no seriously! are they teaming up to go to a fight, or are they doing this to defend their nest or something?”

“again, i don’t know, s/o. but that is a good question.”

...silence...

“maybe they’re trying to climb on top of each other and form a mega-bot or something.”

“i highly doubt that.”

yeah, there wasn’t much else to look at.

your theories were brushed over in favor of watching the group gather closer.

people stopped to stare at you two

they even tossed the idea that you two were oddly placed statues

but they recognized izaya

they knew that no, these are not, in fact, statues, but people standing scarily still

watching something intently.

they just walked off, eventually, but the thought never left.

and yes, you two were still staring when shizuo spotted the sight while looking for someone to pay off their debts. 

and, of course, at the sight of izaya, he flipped his shit and screamed.

that was the cue to leave before you both got crushed. 

luckily, after being with izaya for some time, you got used to the chase and were able to evade the tall blonde

you both made it to your apartment, and had jumped to conclusions

“they were trying to fight someone by forming a gigantic robot-like figure!”

“no, they were forming an army to fight back!”

“or maybe they were doing that to defend their den!”

“or they were gathering together to have an or-”

“don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

the ideas kept getting thrown back and forth

though what you two didn’t know was that they were gathering for a ritual

calling upon their hedgehog gods and completing their personal little summoning 

(it went well, for anyone wondering). 

Shizuo  Heiwajima

you and him?

you’ve gotta be shitting me.

you, an outgoing and happy smol bean (who was actually lacking any instinct to care about someone)

and him, the big angry tol bean that could care less about anyone (though that was a lie)?

yeah, can’t happen

unless...

so, this was a date. 

normally, they stayed in the realm of indoors.

eating dinner together? at his kitchen table.

movie night? on your couch, in your apartment.

seriously, you both rarely had dates outside of the comfort of your homes.

so this date was a blessing in disguise. 

it was nearing noon, 

shizuo had come by your apartment around 11:30 that morning

a cup of coffee in his hand for you, a blush on his face

from there on, you two had spent the day relaxing together (though it was a fairly short time) 

you two were walking past a park around this time

and you were watching the sunlight peek through the trees with wonder

of course, a few people waved to you and you waved back,

but when you spotted something odd, everything just seemed to freeze.

hedgehogs, gathered beside a bush, almost climbing on top of the other 

almost as if to fight for something among each other. 

your gasp is what drew shizuo out of the euphoric state he was in just by watching your eyes light up.

straight outta the gate, he would probably be visibly confused.

and pissed.

but he’d let it slide.

maybe. 

it wasn’t until you exclaimed that there were more that he had an outburst.

“the hell’d you say?”

“there are more going to the bush, shizuo.”

silence, upon silence, upon silence.

until one of the children in the park shout at you to say hi.

you responded of course, but it still annoyed you 

but it annoyed the blonde beside you even more. 

“hey, leave her be!”

“dammit, shizuo - ignore him, have a nice day, you two!”

the child’s mother laughed and brushed it off. 

you pulled shizuo back and went back to watching the hedgehogs.

though he was initially bothered, the sight was interesting to watch.

you two had been theorizing why they were gathering

“maybe they’re watching over one of their children.”

“or, maybe they are trying to build their den there.”

“well, yeah. but they’re climbing on top of each other.”

“good point, babe.” 

(yay pet names! coming from him, that meant a lot!) 

this continued for around fifteen minutes before they up and left.

you two went about the rest of your days nicely, dropping the topic

but it did come up when you were talking to your friend over lunch the next day

and also when shizuo was at work - tom was trying to figure out the reason as well.

otherwise, it was ignored.

the whole story, though:

the hedgehogs were gathering for something private

something that the humans would call a ‘meme’.

a fight club.

and the first rule of fight club?

you don’t talk about fight club.

Masaomi Kida

you and him?

that was expected.

for this long?

that was not expected.

people thought that you two would just call it a fling, and you’d be done

not the case, and you two were ready to wreak havoc all over school grounds if the time called for it.

but otherwise, you two were pretty tame with each other

also very flirty

but that was a different story.

otherwise, dates with him were very much everywhere

if you wanted to get some food, you two would go to russian sushi and then more

a movie? great, let’s hit up the bowling alley afterwards! 

dates like this one were both odd and normal

it was expected that you’d do something following the first part (breakfast and gaming videos with him)

but doing something as simple as walking through a park was almost unheard of unless there was a big event going on

but you weren’t complaining

sometimes you just need some calm, and that is exactly what was going on

until, in a fit of giggles, masaomi had spotted a large group of hedgehogs in a secluded corner of the park

“whoa, look at that, s/o!”

“huh, what do you-”

you saw them.

you also noticed that they were almost expressing something.

whether that was anger, simple frustration, or whateverthehell, you didn’t know

but you noticed it and brought it up.

“kida, they’re moving. what do you think they’re doing?”

“a game plan? something to get food?”

“maybe they’re building something?”

“nope, they’re not holding anything.”

the whole situation, contrary to anything else that would have happened, came and went

after you two stared at the slowly growing crowd for almost fifteen minutes.

you sat down to do it, though! 

(yay to less foot pain!) 

either way, you two had started to toss back outlandish theories.

“trying to form a fight club?” 

(haha funny-)

“or maybe a hedgehog ritual?” 

(haha funny number 2-)

“possibly they could be having an or-” 

(i wanna commit die for the amount of times i’ve pulled this shit istg-)

“kida.”

yeah, things got quiet after that.

you two were still watching the hedgehogs do whatever they and their expressions were doing,

but when you both hit a head and couldn’t conjure up anymore crazy ideas

you just shrugged it off and left the park. 

it didn’t come up again, not even when kida dragged you from your shift at a nearby bookstore after it ended to do something in the city.

anything, really.

the night ended calmly, though.

the hedgehogs, though?

yeah, their night didn’t end that way. 

that crowd of them that you two had seen was a hedgehog acting troupe, and thei performance schedule was outrageous.

the horror play’s lead was covered in a mess of honey, the comedy lead’s day was prolonged due to the original lead being sick, and the romantic lead had tried to avoid snapping the neck of her male co-lead.

yeah, clean-up for them didn’t go well.

Mikado Ryuugamine

you and mikado had been friends for a while

considering that you are kida’s (older) twin, you two got along fairly well

you and him were able to bond over dealing with your brother’s antics.

so the connection you two had grown to develop was easy to be expected.

and, seeing as you were the mature one of the twins, you attracted mikado very quickly.

otherwise, you both found over-the-top dates to be unnecessary.

so you both basked in the time that the both of you spent privately.

study dates were normal. get your work done, get some quick food, all was good.

sometimes you two would lay back and watch your current television obsession together.

so with things as simple and somewhat cliche as that, park dates were normal.

and since you both wanted some fresh air (and a break from your brother), you jumped at the chance to take a walk.

it was late afternoon, you had stopped by russian sushi and were finishing some dollar-drinks you picked up from a convenient store.

you two held hands, deciding to run the rest of the day through somewhat peacefully.

kida was out, though, so you were both on guard.

which also meant that when you two spotted him, you hid

you found a bench that was covered by trees and shadows, and decided to sit down 

mikado was panting, you were still peeping and hoping that the dyed-blonde sibling of yours was gone

and he was, so you relaxed. 

while you were watching, you noticed some movement from the corner of your eye.

it was slightly dull against green, so you found it a little hard to miss.

“hey, mikado, what’s going on in that corner?”

“huh? uh, i don’t- i don’t know.”

you got a closer look, and saw that they were hedgehogs. 

there was two crowds of them, facing each other

your eyes may have been deceiving you, but you could have sworn that one of them was glaring at the frontman of the opposing group 

and that their lackey was gracing an expression of calm

but hedgehogs don’t express emotions like that so you tossed that thought out the metaphorical window.

mikado, though, was trying not to let any of his wild ideas slip.

he had a filter, though, so he didn’t say anything.

you could notice when this happened, though.

“say it, mikado; you’re not good at hiding what you’re thinking around me, y’know.”

“well, what do you think they’re doing?”

silence 

(yet again.)

“i...don’t know, actually.”

the silence hung high, but neither of you were willing to spill any odd theories you had.

some of the time that you were watching was spent theorizing, though.

just internally. 

(seriously, if internal dialogue was going to be mentioned in depth, this portion of the post would be outrageous)

eventually, you just settled for watching them.

any conversation that you two had was about something other than what you were staring at, but that didn’t stop you.

soon enough, it started to get dark and you got a message from kida.

he was struggling with dinner, and since you didn’t want to burn down your living, the you had to hurry.

you had made it clear that you had to leave, took mikado’s empty drink and pitched it on your way back.

mikado left not long after you, eyeing the hedgehogs in confusion 

but leaving nonetheless. 

you brought the event up to kida (without mentioning that it was to hide from him, of course), and he made a huge deal out of it.

mikado brought the topic up to him over the phone as well.

but it was generally just left up in the air.

rarely ever came up between you and anyone else, but it still hung over your heads.

otherwise, the events between the hedgehogs was very new.

in fact, one side of the hedgehogs were squirrels in disguise.

they were having a conversation about how to invade and seize the squirrels’ home, and one of the disguised squirrels had said something to provoke the leader of the hedgehogs.

they were planning an attack on the other, and there would be blood not matter what. 

it was a damn turf war, of course they would want their enemy’s heads on a platter. 

[deadmomjokes]

For me, part of being asexual means that I get really, REALLY grouchy about a lot of romance in media. Rather, the obsession with romance, sex, and sexuality in media. I am that person that will roll my eyes and turn off a movie if it looks like it’s turning into some steamy nonsense, and I will never willingly sit through a romcom even if you paid me. Sex scenes? I’m out. Passionate kissing? Peace, I’m going to the kitchen, want anything? Call me back when the actual story gets back on. Ridiculous ‘ooh they have such SEXUAL TENSION and chemistry, let’s see how close we can get to making them kiss and just have them breathe heavily in each others faces to get our audience all bothered’? I will end you all. I HATE when books or movies or shows throw in a romantic or sexy subplot just for the lols, at least what I perceive as the lols. Basically, a romance has to be really super duper well-crafted for me to get behind it and not be just utterly enraged or completely turned off from the story.

(Also please note that when I use the term romance in this context, I’m using it as a catch all for ship-based storylines that, due to our culture’s obsession with sex, usually include or hinge on sex or kissy scenes.)

That being said. When a romance is done well, and I mean really well, I absolutely 100% lose my mind. I feel that mess in my soul.

So with that introduction, allow me to lay out a few of my favorite (and, in some instances, most maddeningly painful) romances/canon ships in media.

(read more because I went off. like I said, I feel this way too deeply when it’s done well.)

Winry Rockbell and Edward Elric in FMA:B. Slow burn, mutual pining, mutual cluelessness, what’s not to love? So soft and tender and funny all at the same time, and the mad respect Ed has for Winry is absolutely delightful. She does her own thing, and he’s totally supportive, just as she is of him. And a happily ever after??? UGH, I can’t, it’s perfect. The most straightforward and least convoluted of my whole list, and it’s comparatively easy to breeze through. FMA:B is great anyhow, so do yourself a favor and go watch it.

Audrey Parker/ Nathan Wuornos in Haven (with major caveats). Caveats first: they went overboard with the sexy stuff in my opinion. It got too smutty for me, but my tolerance for that stuff is super low, and it did still air on TV, so evidently it wasn’t as bad for the target audience as it was for my sex-in-media-repulsed self. I also find the final seasons to get a bit stale and repetitive in terms of them trying to advance the love story narrative (all the plot points for it got addressed in earlier episodes/seasons, so why are we going over it again??). They also have a bit of an issue in some episodes with dragging out conflicts because the characters just won’t talk to each other like adults. But overall, taken as a whole, it hits hard. Again, we have a slow burn, mutual pining dynamic that starts as a genuine platonic friendship, and transforms into a dimension and time defying chosen soulmates love story for the ages. The things they would do to save each other, even if it means they can never be together, just so they have the joy of knowing that their beloved is okay. The tiny ways they take care of each other- Audrey testing Nathan’s coffee to see if it’s too hot, Nathan slowing down so he doesn’t out-pace her, it’s just adorable.

Faramir and Eowyn in The Lord of the Rings BOOKS. This is an interesting one because it happens really quickly and between two minor characters. But Tolkien did this really interesting thing where he established these two characters separately, and then brought them together and played off what we knew about each of them in context of everything else that had happened with the main story, and suddenly it has, as one of my professors would say, “the illusion of depth.” Faramir absolutely falls head over heels for Eowyn but won’t act until she can deal with her own crap and be emotionally available. Eowyn realizes that she was hung up on ideals, illusions, and false dichotomies. Faramir has been through a lot and is looking for peace. Eowyn is looking for who she really is when she realizes she has more than two choices in life. They find healing together, and in the process, find what they were looking for in each other. And all that happens in the space of, like, 4 pages. I LOVE IT.

Sam Carter and Jack O’Neill in Stargate SG1. This one will hurt you to no end. You will hate life. But gosh dang if they aren’t perfect. This is the slowest burn and most mutual pining of all slow burn mutual pining ships to ever grace media. I’m talking 8 seasons of these two sharing feelings but being unable to express it for one reason or another. What are those reasons, you ask? Jack is her superior and respects her too much to put her in that position. No fraternization on the team. Sam has career aspirations, he won’t ruin her life. He’s got his own issues to work through and knows he isn’t emotionally available. Sam is clueless for a while, then when she realizes she has feelings for him but it couldn’t be because of their work dynamic and because he’s still dealing with his own crap, she tries to move on but keeps coming back to the unspoken fact that she still loves him. To the point that she breaks off her own engagement to a great guy because she realizes she was only trying to move on-- and wasn’t successful. They are clearly in deep for each other, and yet they keep making excuses why they can’t say it.

In the whole series, they never officially get together, and I HATE THAT. There are multiple alternate realities and timelines where they are together, and happy, but in the main timeline, they can’t get over themselves, and it hurts so bad because they’re so perfect. Jack knows she’s the smartest person in the room, and he supports her and defends her and listens to and defers to her. He respects her first as an expert, then as a colleague, and then as a woman whom he deeply loves even though he can’t find it in him to love himself. She appreciates his experience and leadership, and trusts him implicitly. She knows she’s got more book smarts, but relies on his judgement and ability to remain calm under pressure. She also knows she can be real with him, and he knows that when she calls him on his BS he better listen. She is his conscience, and he is her backbone. And in between episodes where they’re clearly pining for each other, and even during, they’re really great friends and a great team. I could seriously write an essay on why this ship is both perfect and intensely frustrating, but then again, you could just watch a great and classic series and see what I mean for yourself. (Then you’d also get to meet the perfection that is Teal’c, and watch Daniel Jackson’s transition from Milo Thatch in Space to sassy beefcake demigod who still loves archaeology.)

Beren and Luthien, Tolkien part 2, electric boogaloo. A love so powerful it transcends death, fate, hell and heaven all at once. It’s kind of wild and not what you’d expect if you’ve only read LotR (or only seen the movies), because it’s more a classic fairy tale than anything, but hot dang if it isn’t still one of the most powerful, moving, deeply impactful love stories in all of writing. It’s even a “love at first sight” narrative and I STILL fall hard for it. This story legit moves me to tears every dang time I read it, or even think about it too hard.

It starts as a simple “forbidden love” story, but these two loved each other so much that they defied one of the most powerful kings in all the world at that time (who was also Luthien’s dad, oopsies), defied Satan himself and marched into Hell just for the chance to be together, and then changed the very way the world works forever just so they could stay together and not be parted. Luthien is a total BEAST, while never giving up her gentle, loving, and tender nature. For the love of this man, she defies her father’s wishes and breaks herself out of her own dang tower to go rescue her prince instead of the other way round, she sends Sauron (yeah, he’s here too!) scurrying with his tail between his legs, wrecks his house, and frees all his slaves and prisoners just to try and get to Beren, drags his butt out of heck part 1, then willingly walks into literal, actual Hell with him and proceeds to enchant Satan and all the demons within. Then she gets her bf outta there after he loses his hand, and goes back to face her father unafraid. Basically, Beren undertakes a literally impossible task just for the chance to be with Luthien, but Luthien is the one that makes it happen because she loves him too much to sit around knowing he’s going to die. She’s willing to die with him rather than live without him, but more willing to dare death to come at her and get some because ain’t no way she’s losing him.

Then, at the last, when all should have been their happily ever after, everything goes wrong and she loses her beloved, and instead of mourning forever, she yeets off her mortal coil out of pure “Oh no you didn’t, not after all we went through” just to go stand before the God of Fate and the Dead and plead with him to change the rules of the universe itself just so that she can be with Beren. And he does it, because their love is so strong. Just for them, all of existence is rewritten so that they might never be parted.

And if you don’t think that’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard, consider also: these two crazy kids were so wonderful that the Goodest Boy in all the world, a functionally immortal and super-intelligent dog sent from heaven itself by a literal god, willingly turned on all his masters and spontaneously learned intelligent speech just so he could help them out and be their Good Boy til the bitter end, thus (in Tolkien’s mythos) starting the whole “man’s best friend” thing with dogs. So yeah. And, uh, Tolkien based it on him and his wife, to the point of ripping their first meeting frame-for-frame from real life. It’s too much y’all.

Anyhow, this post is way, way too long, but I was just feeling the need to get that out there. Maybe I’ll have more in the future, but for now, this is what was on my mind. Particularly the last two.

[saieras]

21 THINGS I LOVED ABOUT ENDGAME

HEAVY SPOILERS. I always tag #endgame spoilers, so make sure to block that if you haven’t

1. THE FIRST 20 MINS

Expectations? Chuck them out the window. They weren’t kidding when they said all promotional material came from the first 20 mins!!! I loved how they got right into the thick of things, cameras blazing, completely no nonsense. And CAROL omg. Also I did NOT expect Thanos’ death to be, Just Like That.

2. The Time Jump.

Very, very smart move. I liked everything about the time jump. It lets us view the event with a lens of a world shattered, a world that has had the chance to come to its senses and reel from the catastrophe.

Although it might have other implications for FFH (like, how the hell is Ned still in Peter's class if he survived? Unless the entire decathlon team got dusted together, which, hey, kinda depressing but like they say, People who decathlon together, Dust together!)

3. Intro of Thor and Clint

The cinematographic shift, including atmosphere and music, was a bit jarring, but I quite liked it. And Korg and Meek! Just hanging out

Although I’m curious, why didn’t y’all give Thor body hair? He’s got a wild beard, a dadbod with a beerbelly... He ought to have a hairy chest/stomach! Same with Clint. That japanese dude Clint killed was still speaking after his throat got slit. Wut.

4. Scott Lang.

Just. Every joke he made. Fantastic.

But also I did not expect to shed my first tear at his and Cassie’s reunion. That was great.

5. Morgan. Tony and Morgan. Tony and Peter’s photo.

Domestic Tony. So soft. AND THAT PHOTO WAS HIS. In HIS HOUSE. FRAMED. I REALLY wish we got more but that moment was very powerful. Still, I was unsatisfied. I wanted Tony to cry. I wanted Morgan to also know about Peter. Basically I want more canonical proof of Irondad Spiderson. Like, listen, this is the one loss that haunts Tony to this day. Peter’s death was the kind of pain that made Tony terrified of going again, for fear of losing Morgan.

6. THE NYC SCENE.

ALL of it. From Tony the security guard, to him talking shit about his own deodorant, to him giving himself a cardiac arrest to cause a diversion and being like this is fine, nothing to see here. And Hulk vs stairs. And STEEB. OMG STEEB. “Hail Hydra.“ “I’ve got visuals on Loki.” “I can do this all da--“ “Yeah. I know. I know.“

“Bucky... Is... ALIVE“

And butt jokes. So many Steve buttjokes. I don’t ship stony, but that is the closest y’all will get to a stony suggestive scene.

ALSO LOKI just yeeting himself outta there. That’s ma boi!

7. Frigga and Thor.

Nuff said. Mama Frigga is the best.

8. Tony and Howard.

It’s really great how adorable Tony was throughout this scene. And... while Howard was NOT redeemed, it’s nice to know he did love his son. And it’s great that Tony got some closure.

9. Peggy and Steve.

Out of the Big Three’s scenes with their “significant past people”, this one was the least impactful for me, as they didn’t even talk, BUT in retrospect it set the scene for later perfectly.

10. Gamora saves the day!

This is GREAT and showcases her character very well, who she really is despite who Thanos raised her to be.

11. Clint and Natasha

Their friendship was on full display during this film. Their scenes. And how it was all platonic. The entire audience knew, as soon as they landed on Vormir, that one of them wasn’t going to make it.

12. Just, Natasha in general.

She’s really been allowed to SHINE in this film. ScarJo is finally allowed to act! Like, thank god. About time she snapped out of her resting impassive smirkface. I love the humanity we got to see out of Natasha as a result. And her heading the command center for a post-Snap Avengers is very apt for her.

13. THE BIG 3 FIGHT THANOS

There are many, many things to love here. But Thor wielding both weapons was amazing, them teaming up their powers with lightning and Tony’s tech, and STEEB with MJOLNIR allowed him to perform SO many cool tricks. Like playing vibranium squash with the shield. So fluid. That fight scene was something else.

14. THE ENTRANCE OF THE HEROES

Assembling for the final fight. I didn’t like how it turned into a slugfest (again), but that moment of hope when Sam hails Steve... Damn.

15. MY BABY BOY PETER

So proud of him. The way he flips in, and is instantly like Woah this is a Big Fight!! How we focus on him for a large part of the battle. How he’s running through the field with the gauntlet, and people all around him coming to help him.

16. Carol’s entrance.

She singlehandedly destroyed that purple grape’s hopes and shat all over his precious spaceship. That’s our girl!

17. “Hey Peter Parker. Got something for me?”

CAROL. CArol listen. You are his mom now. That’s how it works with that damn kid. That’s how he ended up with a whole fucking team of parents.

It be like that sometimes.

18. The LADIES of MARVEL

THEY ARE AMAZING. I fully expect a gifset when the bluray is out. Every one of them. Also the way they gathered around Peter, so soft yet so badass at the same time!

Also RESCUE. OMG. PEPP. And the battlefield fighting side by side with Tony.

19. The passing on of mantles

Steve to Sam (SO glad he didnt get passed over for bucky), Thor to Valkyrie, and Tony to Pepper. These are their legacies. And they’re very skillfully done.

I forgot to add that Steve’s choice to remain in the past and grow old is an EXTREMELY tasteful move. It completes his character arc, fulfilled his dreams from back during the CA First Avenger, and eases him out of the main picture without giving us more heartbreak. It’s sad, yes, but the kind of sad that is also laced with contentment and happiness. This is what he deserves.

20. Tony’s send-off.

His death. I was glad Pepper was the last one there, to tell him it’s okay, they’ll be fine, he can let go.

AND PETER. Peter was there, trying to talk to him, sobbing and breaking down. This is what I wanted, going in, if Tony were to die. And this is what I got. You just know this is going to haunt him in FFH.

And Tony himself. His immense sacrifice, the moment he knew what he had to do, the moment Strange held up that finger. One way. UGH.

I have to admit I wanted Peter to also be there when they’re playing back Tony’s recording. I like how they otherwise didn’t miss a single member of the IronFam, though, like Rhodey, Happy, Pepper, Morgan, they’re all there. But still, Peter should’ve been.

Also, how could I forget, Harley. He totally had every right to be attending that funeral. And it shows how Tony kept in contact with him.

21. And finally, Tony. RDJ.

Thank you. Beyond all words, Thank you.

This has been one hell of a ride.

How far we’ve come. So, thank you!