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#ultimately feel the way you want. enjoy it or don't. agree with it or don't.
ceilidhtransing · 2 months
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I've cropped out the username because I have absolutely no desire to start drama or make a personal “callout” or have people go harass someone or anything like that (and if you take this kind of thing as an opportunity to go and be horrible to another Tumblr user then that is terrible and you should stop), but wow, I have never seen such a clanging example of amatonormativity. I don't think OP necessarily meant it this way, I don't think they meant any harm, I don't think they're consciously arophobic or something - it's far more likely that they're simply unfamiliar with aspec issues, and I always prefer to assume good faith - but I want to talk about this post anyway because it provides a really good and explicit example of the way society just sort of... asserts the centrality of romantic attraction and entirely forgets aromantic people exist.
I do want to first say that I actually agree with the initial point this post is making. Romance as a genre is unfairly derided as some kind of “lesser” form of art, and this derision very frequently comes with generous helpings of misogyny. I totally agree that romance is not at all an unintellectual or superficial thing to write about, and it's bad that it gets treated that way and that readers and writers of romance get so often mocked and condemned. Romance is a totally valid genre and enjoying it doesn't make you vain or stupid or superficial.
HOWEVER. As an aromantic person I find the rest of the post just... I don't know, it's just so perfect as a probably unwitting expression of baked-in cultural amatonormativity. It's brilliant. It's so funny to me. I can almost do a line-by-line breakdown of the way it so completely forgets the existence of aromantic people. In fact, let's do that.
It is so fundamental to us. The issue here should be pretty obvious. The assumption that romance is some integral part of The Human Experience and that it's fundamental to All People is pretty much amatonormativity 101. It reinforces the idea that people who don't experience romantic attraction are “lacking”, forever sitting apart from The Human Experience, and possibly in some way not quite fully human, since we don't experience the thing that is apparently so fundamental to humans.
To want to love and be loved. The post seems to be incorrectly equating “romance” with “loving and being loved”, when in fact there are many people who don't experience romantic attraction yet absolutely love and want to be loved. (And of course loveless aros, aplatonic people, various folks who don't “want to love and be loved” also exist, and it's important to emphasise that this desire, just like romantic attraction, is also not necessarily integral to all people.) “Love” is not automatically “romantic love”, but this post seems to imply that romance is the only, or default, form in which love can exist.
If you don't think every great work of literature. philosophy. metaphysics. was ultimately about romance. I don't think you were paying enough attention. OK this is the line that elevated this post from “sigh, more casual amatonormativity to scroll past” to “I just have to respond to this”. Where to even begin with this assertion. This is a level of “assuming romance is central to everything humans ever do and ever create” that I've almost never encountered before. It feels like a manifestation of the tendency for alloromantic people to declare that, because romance is very central for them, it is thus central to Everything. And I'm homing in on “romance” because the post doesn't say “ultimately about love” - which would still be a reach, but less of a reach - it specifically says “ultimately about romance”. As an aromantic person who is an academic at heart and highly educated in the humanities and social sciences, the idea that my ability to understand literature and philosophy and metaphysics is somehow greatly hampered by the fact that I don't experience or relate to romantic attraction is just... what??? This idea is really very funny to me but also genuinely pretty insulting, even though I'm sure it wasn't meant that way. Not only does it feel like the summation of every patronising “oh, you couldn't possibly understand” directed to aromantic adults who are, in fact, entirely capable of understanding, but it also flattens the incredible breadth of human intellectual experience into “being about romance”. I sometimes find myself wishing that alloromantic people would peak outside the bubble of amatonormativity and realise that actually, there is an enormous swathe of human experience and intellect and creativity and expression that has nothing at all to do with romantic attraction and romantic relationships. And no, stating that, I don't know, the Book of Job is not actually about romance has nothing to do with our society's misogynistic denigration of romance as a genre; it has everything to do with the fact that the Book of Job is not actually about romance. (And if you aren't familiar with Job or for some reason don't consider it a “great work of literature”, replace with whatever other example you can think of; there are many.) It's insulting to imply that aro-spec and/or ace-spec people are somehow less able to participate in art and literature and philosophy etc because we might bring a perspective that doesn't include romance or sex at all and we're just not capable of understanding that Actually Romance And/Or Sex Is Central To Everything. It's genuinely absurd to argue that all the pinnacles of human intellectual achievement really, at their core, come back to romance, and it speaks to our very blinkered society's tendency to declare things like “everything is really about sex” or “everything is really about romance” or “everything is really about breakups” or whatever and then look at aro-spec and ace-spec people like we're aliens and go “but like... how do you even live?” Newsflash, there is so much more to life than romance and love and sex. You can live an entire, very fulfilling, very meaningful, very thoughtful life without these things being at all relevant to you. That's not to dismiss those things as minor or unimportant - they are indeed very central to a lot of people's lives, and they're not “dumb” or “shallow” or whatever - but they're not central to everyone's lives, and they're hardly The Only Things In The World.
And if your response is something along the lines of “well OK there's a tiny minority of people who don't engage with romance and/or sex, or relate to it in the same way most people do, but that doesn't mean that romance isn't still at the core of humanity, or that all the most important things don't still have romance at their heart”, imagine telling a woman that “well, you can focus on a career if you want, but what's really fundamental to being a woman is being a wife and mother - in fact, motherhood is the most important thing in the world, it's fundamental to women, it's what all women's literature is about”. Or, hell, telling a person of any gender that “parenthood” is the central pillar of all of humanity and that every great work of art ever produced is ultimately about parenthood and obviously parenthood is fundamental to everyone's being - forgetting that actually some people will never be parents, and implying that their childlessness makes them less able to understand The Human Experience. That might give you some small idea of what it's like to be an aspec person and be repeatedly told that feelings you don't experience and relationships you don't have and attractions you don't relate to and acts you don't engage in are somehow Fundamental To Humanity and are what lie at The Core Of Everything: how excluding that is, how alienating that is, how oppressively stifling that is.
Feeling that love and/or romance and/or sex are very important to your own life is totally valid, but I wish alloromantics and allosexuals could be more capable of opening their minds and imagining and empathising with an existence for which these things aren't central. Our lives aren't lesser, or emptier, or sadder, or shallower for lack of romance or sex. Our experiences are part of The Human Experience. Our perspectives on art and life and relationships and philosophy and humanity and everything else are just as valid. We are just as capable of profundity, of creativity, of insight - because romance and sex aren't “at the core” of any of these things. We are here, and we're tired of being forgotten, ignored, sidelined, dismissed, erased, talked over, talked past. It would be great if society at large actually remembered we exist once in a while, and that our lives are just as beautiful and important as anyone else's.
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choppeddreamworm · 2 months
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Can I get something where fem reader/(Y/N) is in the school musical/play and they are secretly dating James Hook and his crew don't want to go to the show cause it's "stupid" or something and James sneaks into the musical/play and sits in the back just to watch his secret gf.
Musicals have a special place in my heart so I loved when I got your request! I feel like my writing fell a bit flat towards the end but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
-nini 𓄿
One Act play
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Pairing: Captain hook x fem! reader
Warnings: none, just hook being rude :] not to you though Word count: 2.2 k (not proofread apologies for grammar/writing mistakes! )
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Song used:
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       "15 minutes till opening!" your directors loud voice notified the cast. The people below you conversed amongst each-other as they tried to fix the bottom of your dress. You held your arms up subconsciously trying not to block them, the puffy shoulders not helping. Before the director had come in and interrupted your train of thought you were running over your lines even mouthing some out loud if needed to fix your pitch. But now you could feel how overbearing your quick pulse and butterflies in your stomach fluttered enough to feel them in your throat. were.
This was the day you'd actually perform the musical you and your classmates had been working on for weeks. You put your heart soul into the auditioning process and your effort paid off because you got the lead role! To add to the overwhelming pressure you had invited your pirate boyfriend to come watch. Which gave you a whole new reason to take this play seriously. He had assured you to not over stress your little head about it but you wanted it to be perfect. No one knew the love you shared with the villain and this was the closest it would come to both of you seen in the same room without suspicion arising.
"Come on Uli it won't be so terrible," hook wasn't one to actually beg with the sea witch but he was trying to keep true to the promise he made you that he'd be there. It would be less weird if him and the Vk's arrived maybe cause some havoc afterward his leader would just have to agree to it. Uliana had other plans though she was too focused on fixing her appearance. It was fitting her room having a big mirror just for her. "I don't want little royals in my ears, singing songs about sappy true love or happy endings!" She puts her hands close to here face as she purposefully makes her voice whinny, mocking the overdone perfect fairy tale stories told. Hades and Maleficent can't help but chuckle at Ulianas   Sarcasm from across the room. Both laying on Mals bed since Uliana and Maleficent shared a room. Hook tries to not seem tense over the unknowing  jab Ursula's sister had taken on his royal girlfriend. Uliana rolls her eyes seeing that hook didn't bite back and goes back to her reflection instead. Hooks eyebrows lift, trying to give Mal a knowing look of "help me out" since she was the only one who knew of you being his lover. To which she ultimately just shrugs her shoulders at him going back to making heart eyes at hades. He looks towards Morgie knowing he'd jump on the bandwagon but for once he was actually focused on doing his biology homework. Something about different dog breeds...
He sighs, opening his mouth before Uliana cuts him off. "-While all of you are blinded by futile ... desires," she turns back around taking in Morgie actually doing homework like some good student at Mekong Academy and the two love birds doing nothing but gazing into each others eyes. She immediately belittles them in her head, "I have better things to tend to". Her tentacles push Hook as she stomps towards the front door. He bites back a snarl,not helping but at-least let a snarky remark leave his lips before she leaves, "don't let your tentacles get caught on your way out!". Which only earns him a little shut up from Uli. He laughs to himself mumbling how good the joke was only to be met with defeating silence now taking over the room. His other friends so caught up in their own personal "adventures".
"Yeah.. I'll just be going as-well, I love all of you too!" He whispers to himself as he follows Ulianas actions by walking out of the room. If he'd have to go alone then so be it.
"Giselle! you're up in five" One of the backstage managers gave you a smile along with small nudge as she called you by your characters stage name. You could only give a pitiful excuse for a grin back. A few tremors going through your body, clammy hands playing with the stage curtains. The people playing narrators were already on stage giving the intro to the audience. From your nervousness you couldn't help but peep in behind the curtains. A theatre half full, with many faces you recognized from classes except one... 
Your eyes desperately scanned each row staring with hope but ending in disappointment. While your heart seemed to try to beat out of your chest and eyes trying to start streaming like a faucet you stated to focus on evening your breath. It would be a shame if you had to force the makeup team to give you a last minute touch up. So instead of focusing on the missing villain in the crowd you started playing with your fingers. He would surely show up soon.
"ticket please," the female student located behind the table declared to a stumped Hook. "admissions should be free this is a school event,"  he answered back in frustration. The ability to afford the entrance fee was not of question it was the fact his valuables would not match school accepted currency. "yes should be, but tonights the opening night for the play though," she sticks her hand out more obviously. He shouldn't have used you as an excuse but he was grasping onto last resorts here plus he didn't tell the complete truth so your relationship was safe, "look lass my... friends in the play, main lead actually-". His words were cut short by the girls obnoxious snort, "your girlfriend- the main lead?" yeah sure!". She jeered looking him up and down not believing a pirate let alone a villain was associated with any person in the musical cast. "maybe you're just mistaken so I'll say this once, your holding up the line.. move" her demeanor changed from taunting to serious, hand no longer stretched out instead now holding a firm position down on the table. Hook leaned down, trying to see if he could intimidate his way in, but he remembered it wouldn't look so good on his part, dulling your staring moment and not seeing you act. "That hair looks awful on you darling maybe ask Fay to bippity bopitty fix that for you yeah?," he let the hook drag on the table a little too hard, ripping the table cloth just a good amount till deciding it was enough. While he strides away from the table towards the outside of the building the ticket girl that had attend him cant help but grab at her hair starting to doubt her own appearance.
He was trying to do things right and the universe seemed to be throwing it back in his face. Many scenarios played out in his head, his love distraught and hurt. There was no way he'd let that happen, he was sure there were other entrances not just so openly disclosed to the public. Presented perfectly to him while walking outside near the backside of the building was a door labeled 'storage', slightly opened, letting only a wisp of light out many people would probably miss but, not him.
The audiences claps brought you back to reality along the narrators walking off the stage towards you giving you a small 'break your leg'. Your breath caressed your teeth watching the lights dim exponentially, being able to conjure only the light silhouette of the props crew setting your scene up. A cozy forest with a castle far in the background. Last thing they did was talk into their mic, giving a thumbs up before leaving the stage. The darkness only teased you with going back in your head the blasting music with the violins and drums made you tense back into your senses. Your feet walked forward in airplane mode until reaching next to the prop mannequin created by you. A few thumps followed behind you, turning towards the dark audience you were met with the other cast kneeling in front of you dressed as animals. Lights slowly coming alive.
Hook was traveling through a dark room quietly before the loud music spooked him making him run into something. He was left cringing more as the objects falling caused a commotion. A few muffled voices made him sprint to the other end of the room where another door was. His eyes deprived of light were blinded when instantly met by the harsh bulbs. As he tried to recuperate people passed by him some dressed in office work clothes, others as animals and one specifically as a squirrel. He tried regain his posture realizing he was backstage. One passer by not helping but say, "I thought pirates weren't supposed to happen till the last act?". Deciding against asking for help since he must've already attracted attention dressed as he was, he tried finding his way cutting across many corners. Until he heard your voice traveling through the walls. He immediately grabbed some unsuspecting victim immediately, "you! where the door to the theatre seats?!". Too afraid to even speak they pointed to a door directly in his sight. He let them go without another thought dashing to the entrance.
"when you meet the someone, who was meant for you" you perked with a bit of faultiness, still struggling with getting into character. "Before two can become one theres something you must do...." your eyes were stuck on the audience still searching for hook. The character was gleeful and confident not unsure and meek.
"do you pull each others tails?" one of the cast members dressed as a bunny pulled on your arms while delivering their line. Which wasn't part of the act but it successfully made you remember your next steps. "Do you feed each other seeds?". You gently took their hand off you, your response along with your next words made it seem intentional. A small chuckle fought your lips , "No, there is something sweeter, Every-body-needs". With every jingle you touched each actors nose. A little sadness lingered in your heart when you looked up to the mannequin with dark hair dressed in red and a fork in his hand per your request.  "Ive been dreamin' of a true loves kiss, and a prince I'm hoping comes with this," the longing in your eyes as you looked at the inanimate object were real and . "Thats what brings ever-aftering, so happy," you gave fork a light touch with the tips of your fingers. Your head went back towards the "animals" who were supposed to be learning from you,"thats the reason we need lips so much". You made small motions with both your fingers connecting them, "for lips are the only things that touch".
"So to spend life of endless bliss.. just find who you love through true love's kiss,-" towards the middle of the singing you looked up with closed eyes feeling the words in your heart. Then with the last few words you looked up onto the crowd, hands out, a small figure towards the back side of the theatre cutting your last note short. You could recognize the frame of your lover anywhere even when you had blasting white lights rendering you blind. He raised his arm, dismissing any doubt in your mind was a shadow of a hook. When James had first laid eyes on you while singing your third verse he had to do a double take. The dress was so dramatic yet you looked so beautiful like A true princess indeed. Even more heartwarming was the fact he came in when you were singing those romantic words to a mannequin that suspiciously resembled him. 
Finally having his eyes on you made you miss your queue to riff, too focused on the way your pulse skipped and how embarrassing your wardrobe must've looked. Big, puffy and white to imitate the wedding taking place in the act. A big true grin now on your face played perfectly into the next sequence, the animals singing about you, repeating your own words. "She's been dreamin' of a true love's kiss," they start circling you. "And a prince she's hoping comes with this," you follow their gestures to the dummy next to you, making your advancements towards it. "Thats what brings ever-afterings, so happy,"  once they finished the verse and onto the next you started swaying with them, "and thats the reason we need lips so much For lips are the only things that touch".  
You gave a wonderful spin letting the artistry of the fabric be shown while your cast members last note rang out. A foot in-front of the other you step closer towards the edge of stage, hands clasping each other  on your chest. " So to spend a life of endless bliss," you cheeks puff, eyes finding the pirate in the audience once again as if singing to him you let passion flow out of you. " just find who you love through true loves kiss"
James didn't hide the big mushy look on his face, he spent every moment in public hiding his feelings for you but the darkness in the auditorium offered him hide out. Where even in everyones eyes you were just acting only two hearts shared their emotions out in public with no one having a clue just them. Ulianas words did make him want to laugh though, this play had just been "little royals in my ears, singing songs about sappy true love or happy endings". Except it was like a dedicated love letter to him and only to him by his theatre loving girlfriend. He would cherish it till his death bed, "embarrassing" parts and all.
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angularbean · 7 months
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"Empty" praises [Alastor x Reader]
"Absolutely ravishing, darling."
Why was is that a simple sentence could make your heart pound in her chest? Threatening to explode in it's bony confides. It has to be the coffee you had, it's common for your body to react that way to the drink. That is its purpose after all, right? Perhaps it's simply due to the incapability to accept compliments. You're just a regular ol' sinner after all, what was ravishing about you? Maybe it was who was attached to the compliment. Someone who never failed to make your heart flutter. Angel's words rang through your ears. Tall, dark, and creepy. Not necessarily the adjectives you would use, but they were accurate. No, absolutely not. The Radio Demon was quite the charmer, that much is true. Always throwing flirtations your way. ... "Let's make a deal. But don't you worry, lovely, your soul is safe with me." ... "Crying suits you, darling lamb." ... "The fear in your eyes looks absolutely delicious darling. I could just eat you up." ... But there was no real emotion behind his flattery. Just empty words, designed to pull at your heart stings. A powerful overlord, who never showed interest in something as frivolous as love, would never think of you more than just some poor, lost sinner. Though sometimes you couldn't help but wish to be wrong. Oh how you wished to be wrong. But if you were, hell wouldn't be hell would it? You're in hell for a reason. Seemingly unrequited love would be the ultimate punishment. How depressing. There was something, however, in the way that the demon gently led your hand to his ever smiling lips, pressing them to the skin. The gesture used to punctuate his praise, vampiric eyes never leaving yours.
"Why how kind of you, Alastor." His sharp smile widened as his name fell from your pretty lips. Oh how he loved to hear you say his name. But that's none of your business, those are Alastor's thoughts and his alone. You were just on your way out, heading to Cannibal Town to gossip over some tea with Rosie. A dear friend of yours who is no stranger to your little predicament; who was about to get an earful about this little interaction.
Red eyes trailed up every nook and cranny of your attire. Admiring how effortlessly beautiful you looked.
"You make it easy to be. Have a pleasant time with Rosie, dear. Do greet her for me."
You grinned up at him, agreeing to do so.
He would never admit how his undead heart would softly murmur when you were around. How his breath would get caught in his throat when you looked up at him through your thick, pretty lashes. When your hair draped beautifully over your eyes, he longed to tuck it back behind your ear. Wanting to always relish in the way you looked at him. He would never admit to the strange feelings he felt around you, and only you. He wouldn't be the oh-so-feared overlord if he did, now would he? He had an to reputation to uphold.
You couldn't know. What's a secret or two among friends? Sure, 'friends.' You could say that.
Still he couldn't stop the words from escaping.
"Be safe, love. Make it back home to me."
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im absoultely OBESSED with hazbin hotel so i had to dust off the good ol' tumblr and write something about everyones fav. hope you enjoyed!
still tryin' to get a feel on how to write alastor, feel free to let me know what you think! i do take requests(;<
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Johnnie Guilbert NSFW Alphabet
(first time writing, lmk how I did and pls pls pls request some more for johnnie guilbert if you enjoyed because i think hes insanely under appreciated and deserves more written for him)
A=Aftercare (what they're like after)
Definitely big into after care and does whatever he can to take care of you after
B=Body part (Their favorite body part of their partners+their own)
Partner-thighs, they're plushy and he loves squeezing them and loves the way they look when they are wrapped around his head
Theirs-Hands, he loves what he can do with them and he loves how they look around your neck
C=Cum(Anything to do with cum)
He prefers finishing inside to avoid mess but would ultimately do whatever you wanted.
D=Dirty secret(Self explanatory)
He definitely gets off to pictures of you when you're not w him and he's feeling frisky (or if he's js to shy to tell you)
E=Experience(How experienced are they?)
not really at all, except for giving head.
F=Favorite Position(Self explanatory)
Cowgirl-He dies a little bit every time you ride him, he seriously can't get enough of it. Or any position where he can touch you while making eye contact with you
G=Goofy(Are they more goofy or serious during the act?)
Definitely depends on what you're comfortable with but will most likely be the type to make a joke or two and then be really serious after that yk
H=Hair(How well groomed? Does the carpet match the drapes?)
Doesn't really need to do much since he's a natural blonde but will maybe trim it up if he feels like it. Doesn't care if you have any, he agrees that if hair wasn't supposed to grow there, then it wouldn't.
I=Intimacy(How are they during? Romantic aspect ofc)
He is the touchiest mf there is. Loooooooves to touch and see his hands all over you and more verbal than you'd think
J=Jack off (Random Masturbation Headcannon)
As stated before, he definitely Jacks off to you when you aren't around and he's feeling rather frisky so maybe like 3-4 times a week at the most
K=Kink(1 or more of their kinks)
Switch-loves seeing you on top and in control but will take the reigns every now and then
Marking-Loooooves to see bite marks and hickies and such all over you and loves it more when you leave them on him
Hair pulling-loves when you tug on his hair while he fucks you/eats you out
L=Location (Favorite place to do the deed)
Prefers the bed but will eventually escalate to the shower or maybe even the couch when no one is home 😈
M=Motivation(What turns them on? What gets them going?)
Literally anything you do could get him going because he's so infatuated by you, and I think he may be a bit sexually frustrated 💀 but loves skirts, lacy lingerie and fishnets specifically
N=No(something off limits)
Anything that could hurt you or him
O=Oral(Giving and receiving preference, skill. Etc)
is a GOD at giving head. About the only thing he's really experienced with and IT SHOWS. Does like recieving but poor baby would be too shy to ask so you'll have to offer
P=Pace(Are they made rough/fast or slow/sensual or other)
Anything you prefer because he doesn't wanna hurt you or make you uncomfortable
Q=Quickie(Their opinion on quickies)
Doesn't care for them much at all, he likes to take his time and cherish the moment
R=Risk(Do they experiment? Do they take risks?)
Will experiment within his boundaries and your own
S=Stamina(How many rounds can they go? How long do they last?)
Can last about 3-4 rounds before he needs a minute, if you're not satisfied don't you worry because he'll give you so much head to make up for it
T=Toys(Do they own/use toys on their partner or themselves?)
Doesn't own them for himself but would be down to try them if you brought it to his attention
U=Unfair(How much do they like to tease?)
He doesn't start the teasing often because he's too shy but will do it back if you start teasing him
V=Volume(How loud they are, What they sound like)
Quite shameless when it comes to this intimate time with you, doesn't care who hears
W=Wild card (Random NSFW headcannon)
He secretly loves to fuck you until he can see your eyes rolling into the back of your head and loves fucking your mouth/throat but will only do so if you ask him to
X=Xray(size of his- basically)
6 inches soft and abt 8.5 inches hard
Y=Yearning(How high is their sex drive?)
Higher now bc of you
Z=ZZZ (How quick they fall asleep after?)
Prefers to cuddle after sex and loves falling asleep like that, he'll fall asleep after he knows your asleep
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flippinpancakes64 · 3 months
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The Cullens with a cat
Inspired by my cat who is currently running around my room at full speed
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Edward:
I feel like you would have to sneak the cat in
Not that it would be easy since he can read minds and whatever
But I don't think he would agree to a cat
He thinks he is a monster who doesn't deserve love
That translates to animals as well
But he's totally the type to not want the cat and then become best friends with it
He won't go full cat dad and get it clothes and cute hats or anything, but he'll buy a shit ton of toys
His room is FILLED with so much stuff for this tiny little cat
He would have moved out his couch to make more room for it if the little kitten didn't like laying on it so much
He's very careful though
Hardly ever pets it unless it comes over to him and starts rubbing up on his leg
Overall 9/10 cat dad minus 1 point because he's basically cowering in fear over this little baby
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Alice:
I get the feeling she'd love cats
The type to stop and pet one when she sees it on the street
Wouldn't be opposed to you bringing one home, but I can also see her bringing one home too tbh
Maybe she found it outside, maybe she saw it in a shelter, who knows
All you know now is that Alice has brought a tiny, furry cat into your room and she adores it
Can and will play dress-up with the cat
Cute bows, sparkly dresses, those little boots, you name it, the cat has worn it
I also feel like she'd prefer a longhair cat so she can style its fur
Also the type to put it on a leash and take it places
Or put it in her purse like it's one of those teacup dogs
8/10 cat mom, the cat took away 2 points because it probably wouldn't be fond of dress-up
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Jasper:
Tbh he'd love the cat
He's always been on the quieter side, preferring to be by himself or with Alice
He would say no if you asked him for a cat, but also wouldn't push further if you insisted you really wanted one
In his mind, he told himself he would just ignore it, take care of it if you asked him to, but he immediately fell for it
He's drawn to positive emotions
So it's no secret why he wants to be around the fluffy ball of love and you when you're cooing over it
I also feel like he'd really enjoy the (mostly) chill nature of a cat
I feel like dogs probably overstimulate him tbh
More than once you've found him laying on his back with the cat on his chest just snoozing away
10/10 cat dad he loves that thing with all of his dead heart
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Rosalie:
I think she's kind of indifferent
She doesn't really care either way
The only thing she would care about would be the smell
(Which she would easily fix by buying one of those expensive litter robots lol)
But after that she could care less
She gets a little hurt when you spend more time with the cat than with her, but if you're willing to just pick it up and have a group cuddle session, she doesn't mind
She'll take care of it if you ask her too as well
She'll clean up after it, feed it, give it water
But she won't really hang out with it
If the kitty comes over to her and snuggles up next to her or brushes up against her leg, she'll pet it but she won't drop everything she's doing
Overall 7/10 she does the bare minimum and she's not rude just indifferent
A cat roommate instead of a cat mom I suppose
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Emmett:
Definitely popular opinion here but he's more of a dog guy
He would love to be able to run around with a big dog and play fetch
Not to say he'd hate a cat though
If you asked him if you could get one he'd say yes
On the condition that you let him get a dog of course
The only times he'll ever really interact with the cat is if you come up to him with it
Or if you're cuddling with it when he's in the room
He'll give it a couple pats on the head but he won´t know what to do past that
He would love a playful cat though
I can imagine big, burly Emmett holding one of those little feathers on a string as a cat jumps after it
He'd love it
8/10 cat dad confused but he's got the spirit
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Esme:
Ultimate cat mom
Very likely that you didn't even have to ask, she already had one
She will buy her cats only the best everything
That wet cat food from the cans that are expensive
Only the highest priced litter robot
Maybe even diamond plated food bowls idk
The first time it coughs up a hairball she freaks out and wants to take it to the vet
Carlisle better learn veterinary science quick
In all seriousness that cat becomes her baby
She is cradling it, whispering and singing to it, dressing it up in little clothes, taking it everywhere
She didn't let it jump on to any surfaces for a while, always insisting on picking it up and setting it there
Like Edward, this cat basically has a room all to itself
Cat trees, scratching posts, cat beds, hammocks, automatic feeders, one of those little water fountains, like three robots
Literally spoiled
11/10 that is her child. Might as well be her flesh and blood
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Carlisle:
He's got a lot on his plate
A whole family of vampires that he needs to make sure is well hidden
A very stressful career as a doctor
The treaty with the wolves
Literally everything in the whole plotline sort of falls onto his shoulders
If you ask him for a cat I feel like he would say yes, but he wouldn't be too happy about it
All he can think is that this is going to be another one of those things that he has to take care of
If you prove that you can take care of it all by yourself though, he'll come around
You'll find him in his office late nights working on some records from the hospital with the cat snuggled safely in his lap
If there are any visitors to the Cullen house his favorite prop to appear more human is to hold the cat
If you ask him he'll say he always loved the cat, but that's not true
9/10 cat dad. Very peaceful, he just loves to chill
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Vampire! Bella:
She's a cat lady
Before she moved to Forks and even during her early time there, she was a loner
All she did was hang out at home and read
That's stereotypical cat mom right there
I feel like maybe she didn't have a cat because she thought she couldn't handle the responsibility
She's changed so much since becoming a vampire, she's definitely ready for one now
She would have forgotten her old human wish for a kitty until you brought one home though
You wouldn't even really need to ask
I feel like she would find a lot of comfort in the cat
It would ground her to her old human life
Make it easier to remember
She wouldn't go all crazy with buying stuff for it though
However she would take care of it
A lot of the time you'll find her zooming to get up and feed it as soon as it starts meowing for food
And you'll find the two of them cuddling whenever she's reading
Overall 10/10 very comfortable very human
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fallingdownhell · 8 months
Note
Helloooo- can I request breakup sex with the genshin boys of your choice cause like AAAH BREAKUP SEX IS SO ANGSTY AND LOVELY AND LIKE >>>
IT'S ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO EVER EXIST!! AAGH!! THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST!<3 Characters Included: Kazuha; Diluc; Neuvillette Content: gender neutral reader; nsfw; gentle sex; passionate sex; breakup sex; angsty; unprotected sex; creampie; edging; orgasm control; scratching; biting Word count: 1,2k words NSFW UNDER THE CUT! MINORS DON'T INTERACT! Everyone else, please enjoy<3
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Kazuha
as much as I want to say that he'd be passionate about it, I think Kazuha would be very gentle during his last time with you
in his mind, it's the last time he gets to enjoy you like this, so he wants to take his time and live out every moment to its fullest
he'd savor your taste, eating you out multiple times, making your head spin from overstimulation, worshipping your body, because he'll be damned if he can't tell you how much he loves you and your body one last time
you'd be gasping for air, throwing your head around, trying to grasp onto something to ground yourself again, yet finding nothing except for his head between your legs, so you hold onto his hair tightly
Kazuha doesn't care if you'd pull out some strands of his hair. He'd simply groan against you in pleasure, digging right back in because that's how he knows he's making you feel good
only when you're an incoherent mess, eyes glassy and disoriented from so many orgasms, would he finally allow himself to take you
he'd want to go slow at first, savoring the feeling of you clenching around his dick, but he soon looses his focus, thrusting more passionately, already at his limit since he's been depriving himself of touching you for so long
Kazuha would overstimulate the everliving hell out of you. He does not care how many times you've already came, he's always gonna squeeze one more out of you
his arms are tightly circled around your upper body, pressing you into his chest while he snaps his hips into you repeatedly, hitting that spot inside you dead on with every single thrust, making your eyes roll back from the immense amount of pleasure
when Kazuha finally comes, his hips stilling inside of you for a few seconds, before he begins rutting into you again, attempting to ride out his orgasm for as long as possible while he whispers praises into your ear
soon after that, you'd pass out in his arms, to spent from all the things he did to you. And while Kazuha wants nothing more than to stay with you, cuddle you in your sleep and take care of you, he knows that if he stays, he won't have the strenght to leave you in the morning. So, he quietly slips out of the bed, makes sure you're warm and comfortable before he gathers his things, giving you one last, tender kiss on your cheek before he leaves your home for the last time...
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Diluc
when you proposed having sex one last time before the relationship would be officially over, he was reluctant about it at first, but ultimately agreed to it, figuring that there couldn't be any more harm to it either way
gods, was he proven wrong right now
he had been thrusting into you relentlessly, snapping his hips against yours repeatedly for what feels like forever now
he's giving you both pleasure, hitting your spot dead on, yet every time you come close to your orgasm, he stops all his movements, denying you and himself this overwhelming peak of pleasure
´his arms are on both sides of your head, holding himself above you, he's panting heavily while you have your legs wrapped around his waist, desperately grinding against him, trying to get him to move again so you can finally come
but he only presses you more into the matress so you can't move anymore, keeping you both still. As a response, your arms circle his back, your nails digging into the skin of his back, leaving marks and scratches all over it
Diluc groans, the sharp pain soon turning into pleasure and he can't help but snap his hips forwards again, his cock grinding deeper into you
the screams and moans you let out at that only spur him on even more, burrying his face in the crook of your neck, he can't help himself when he gently bites into your soft flesh
the action sends you reeling, your eyes rolling to the back of your skull as you let out another loud moan
it's at this point that you start begging him, to please, finally let you come. It's just becoming too much for you, the constant pleasure becoming unbearable
and despite everything, Diluc knows he could never deny you anything, not when you're begging him so nicely
so he decides to oblige you, snapping his hips against yours in a more brutal pace than before, reaching down with one hand between your bodies to stimulate you even more
and when you finally come, you feels the the force of all your previous denied orgasms come back full force with this one, to the point of you almost blacking out under Diluc
Diluc comes soon after you, the feeling of you clenching so tight around him just too much for him to take at this point
too exhausted to do anything else, the two of you fall asleep next to each other, not caring how awkward it would be in the morning. That's a problem for after a good nights sleep...
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Neuvillette
I like to think that he'd also be gentle about it, but in a bit more of a passionate way, all the same, if that makes any sense
similar to Kazuha, he'd also want to enjoy himself, and he wants you to enjoy yourself as well
and in his eyes, the best way to achieve that for the both of you is to give you both as many orgasms as possible
by now, you've lost every concept of time. You've no idea how long you two have been going at it or how many times you or him have came at this point
all your nerves are standing at high attention, every little touch feels overwhelming to you. Even his soft caresses over your arms send shivers of pleasure down your spine, your back arching into him as his hips snap into you, his cock splitting you open over and over again as you moan and scream his name the entire time
meanwhile Neuvillette, although enjoying the moment, is deep in his head. He can't quite wrap his head around the fact that this will be your last time with him, that he won't get to devour you again like this, so he at least wants to make it count
he would mark your entire body, so that even for days and weeks after, you would be reminded of him and his touch, and how good he could make you feel
he's leaving hickeys all over your neck and throat, clawmarks on your arms and back, some marks even on your thighs. He marks you everywhere he gets a chance to, and you're too overstimulated to notice or even care about it
in fact, you welcome it, wanting to have something to remember him by, however fleeting it might be
when you reach your nth orgasm of the night, Neuvillette follows you soon after, loving the feeling of how tight you clench around his cock when you come, him burried deep inside of you, touching all the good spots only he could reach
it takes a while for the both of you to catch your breaths and when you feel like you're finally done, you half expected him to either dissapear immediately or just turn around and sleep
what you didn't expect however was for him to cuddle up to you, gently kissing your body to make up for his rough treatment from before. He's still giving you proper aftercare, which you're confused about at first, but you're definitely not going to deny him
and maybe, he hopes that while he treats you with such care and devotion, you might recondsider the decision you made and stay with him, after all...
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buckysgrace · 3 months
Note
Okay after reading your headcannons you absolutely have to do a little one shot of Billy getting road head from some random chick he met at a bar or something. Cause you got me thinking nasty things now 😇
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CW: Impaired driving, drunken blowjobs, lots of drool, slight degradation ya know the drill
Billy was sure he'd never felt this great before, so alive. He couldn't really recall your name, the memories of the way it rolled off of your tongue blurry now that he thought about it. What he could recall was that you liked to kiss with tongue, and you squealed every time he pressed his foot down harder on the gas.
Somewhere between swapping beer, cigarettes and spit you had wound up agreeing to a motel room with him. He thought you were pretty, far too pretty to be living in this shitty town. But he didn't ask you about it.
He swerved to straighten himself back on the road, glad that it was so late in the night that no one else was out and about. Perhaps that was the only thing this shitty town had to offer.
You were currently bent over the middle console, your dress raised up over your ass to expose your flashy panties to him. He groaned as he brought a palm against your right cheek, squeezing softly as you nuzzled your face against his bulge.
He groaned as he continued to rub at your flesh, enjoying the way you felt against his rough hands as he slowed down a bit. He didn't want to rush this, even though he'd get another round with you at the motel. He could be straightened up by then.
You were attempting to pull his zipper down with your teeth, before you ultimately gave up because it was a lot harder than what you thought it would be. You let your fingers take over the task, laughing at the struggle.
"C'mon," He mumbled as he pushed on the back of your head, sighing at the feeling of your warm breath against the tip of his cock. He groaned, desperately needing to feel your lips around his girth, "Don't tease me." He urged, squeezing the steering wheel tightly as you took a soft lick across his slit.
Trying to focus on the lines on the road became harder and harder as you wrapped your soft lips around his girth. He groaned at the sensation, sighing deeply as you began the slow motions of rocking your mouth up and down the length of his cock.
He hissed as the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, your cheeks warm and wet as you began to drool around his cock. It was messy, sloppy as the sound of his cock hitting the back of your throat echoed louder than the music playing on the stereo.
You seemed quite pleased, moaning and whining each time the head of his dick hit the back of your throat. You began to dig your fingers into his thighs, gripping onto him for support as the vibrations from your sounds spread through his body.
His cock ached at the sensation of your tongue messily licking around his girth, pressing against his throbbing skin as he slowly began to jerk his hips up to meet your motions. He yelped before he stopped his movements, stalling to straighten out his hands on the wheel from where he'd accidentally pressed down on the gas.
"Careful," You giggled as you looked up at him, eyes hazy as you pressed his fat tip against your smeared lips. You spit against his head, coating the length of his cock in your saliva before you began to stroke him once again, "Would be a funny way to die." You said a moment later, teasingly before you wrapped your mother around his girth once again. He thought it might be funny for you, but it would be heaven for him.
He groaned as he wrapped his fingers tighter around the steering wheel, completely lost in the feeling of your warm cheeks against his girth. He sighed at the sensation of you gagging around him, the vibrations traveling up his body as he suddenly felt very warm. Like he had a fire spreading within him.
You moved your wrist to the motions of the bob of your head, squeezing what didn't fit into your mouth as he writhed underneath you. He groaned as your saliva continued to drip around him, coating his balls in your spit while you gagged around him.
"Fuck, fuck," He cursed, fighting the urge to shut his eyes as the pleasure took a hold of him. His stomach muscles clenched tightly together, his lips parting as a loud groan burst free. His cock felt heavy against your tongue as he came, his spunk coating the back of your throat, "Jesus Christ." He grunted as he moved a hand down to grip the back of your neck, holding you there for just a second.
You gagged and trembled around him, your throat aching around his cock as you dug your fingers into his thighs. He sighed in bliss as he shook underneath you, enjoying the sensation for just another second before he released you.
You sat up quickly, cum and spit leaking from your lips as you fought to catch your breath. He chuckled as he brought his hand down to his softening dick, sliding himself back inside of his jeans. You wiped at your mouth, continuing to smear your lipstick worse than before.
"S'nice," You mumbled as you turned towards him, eyes still hazy as you pulled your messy lips into a smirk, "Can we stop and get something to eat? Or drink?" You asked a second later, taking him by surprise. He thought about it for a second, debating since he'd already gotten what he wanted.
"Sure," He mumbled, watching the way you situated yourself back into your seat, "You got money?"
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elle1rp · 4 months
Text
eye fucker
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NSFW 18+
minors and men dni
toxic!abby jealous but roommate!reader is tired of it. warning; slight smut?, phone sex, misogynistic comments, toxicity, mention of murder, strong language first story ever.. like in forever. probably will notice mistakes as I’m also still learning how to write. :33 enjoy!! 🎵 - one of the girls, the weeknd
you were pissed; beyond pissed. Invited to a car wash by your homegirls, you had to wear lingerie under fitted white shirts, exposing every lace and strap when wet.
It felt like looking like a bunch of hookers was the only way to get donations from perverted men or giggly, misogynist teen boys for a homeless shelter.
But that's not why you're upset.
glancing over at Abby in the driver's seat, her jaw clenched, fingers gripping the steering wheel as if she wanted to break it, veins pulsating through her thick arm, she looked even more furious than you were.
you didn't care. She didn't have the right to be. She didn't own you or anything of you. She had no right to pull you out of there and force you into the car.
your friends found Abby's behavior amusing yet perplexing. Her growing attraction towards you since you moved in with her was becoming increasingly evident, to the point where it seemed almost pitiful.
you released a breath, casting a glance towards the radio. The silence in the car felt deafening, accentuated only by the sound of Abby's slightly ragged breathing. You reached over and clicked play on the radio, breaking the uneasy quiet with some music.
only for it to be abruptly interrupted by Abby's thick finger pressing the stop button. "No," she say, firmly.
"What the hell is your problem?" you exclaim, feeling frustration rising. Now she's acting like a complete dick. Her eyes remained fixed on the road, with such intensity that it seemed like she could crack the windshield with her glare alone.
you couldn't deny, she looked incredibly hot. Wearing a green shirt that accentuated her curves and muscles, with a gold watch adorning her right wrist. Only she knew how to completely master the blend of anger and sexiness.
"The problem is you dressing like a prostitute to wash cars as if you have no damn sense," she retorted, her tone sharp.
You cross your arms over your chest, shooting a glance towards her. "Sorry, but I don't need your permission to have fun," you assert, though perhaps not entirely truthful.
the truth was, you only agreed to participate because you and Abby were supposed to have a night together and you still wanted to go to the car wash, but you also really wanted to have dinner with her, so you ultimately chose not to go.
it wasn't just any regular “hey, let’s chill and get some pineapple pizza and garlic wings.” roommate night, but rather a "I want to get to know you better and possible fuck later" type of night, which she seemed to have ditched you for—or so you thought.
In an attempt to get back at her, you dressed in your finest, most sluttiest, provocative lingerie and reached out to your homegirls for a night out.
You heard Abby scoff, followed by a laugh. "Oh, is that what you call fun?" she remarked, glancing at you briefly before returning her gaze to the road.
"Yeah, something I was having until you messed it up—" you begin, but her voice cuts you off abruptly as she jerks the car into park in the apartment parking lot.
“—that guy that you were talking to was practically fucking you without even having to touch you.” Her words dripped with a hint of possessiveness, a tone you've only witnessed once before. 
A few days ago, one of your friends playfully wrapped her arms around your waist from behind, nuzzling her face into your neck to make a point about Abby. that she liked you, even if she tried so hard to hide it. Your friend ended up feeling intimidated by the intensity of Abby's gaze and almost a busted lip.
Abby's blue eyes locked onto yours, her pupils slightly dilated, adding a fiery intensity to her gaze. "He might as well just fuck you at this point, right? I mean you are already in uniform." she remarked, her voice laced with a mixture of sharpness and desire.
You dig your eyebrows in. "Fuck you," you mutter before storming out of her Jeep Wrangler and slamming the door shut. As you march towards the apartment building, you seethe with anger. She had no right to ditch you and then act like she owned every inch of you. fuck her
Abby opens the door, stepping her foot on the side bumper and sticking her head out. "Hey!" she calls out, extending her arms towards you. Ignoring her, you slam the door behind you and continuing on your way.
great now she’s fucking upset. okay, maybe I should’ve said it less.. dickish. Abby turned off the engine before getting out, slamming the door shut and walking to the door.
she curses under her breath as she struggles to twist the locked door open, realizing your act of pettiness. Faint music emanates from inside, and she rolls her eyes before unlocking the door.
the lyrics of the song become more noticeable as she enters the house, with some chick singing "one of your girls" from the radio in the kitchen. However, she doesn't see you around, probably assuming you're in your room.
Abby kicked her boots off before collapsing onto the couch, her hands immediately finding her face, rubbing up and down.
God, what the fuck does she do to me?
She didn't ditch you. She was running late from work because of her asshole of a boss, piling on extra tasks before she could leave. When she finally got home, she realized you weren't there waiting for her. She assumed you had gone to sleep, but it was 6. too early for you to do so.
It wasn't until she found the car wash fundraiser poster that she crumpled it in her hands before storming out the door.
suddenly , she hears a phone ring, feeling the vibration in her back pocket, signaling that it was hers. She lets out a groan before taking it out.
It was you calling. Why would she be FaceTiming me? We're in the same house? she wondered.
Sliding the bar over, she answered the call. At first, the screen was dark until you moved back from the camera, revealing the soft glow of candles in your room. Your lingerie was now in full view without the white shirt blocking your pink ensemble, much to Abby's disdain.
Immediately sitting up from the couch surprised, Abby's attention fixated on your perfect figure. Your skin looked so soft and touchable, causing her fingertips to tingle as she remembered how you felt in her fingertips when you taught her how to cut an onion the other day.
"What are you doing?" Abby asked, leaning back on the couch, trying to ease the discomfort between her legs. Just the sight of you could make her come.
She watched as you walked back towards your bed and sat on the very edge of it, your arms behind you for support. There was a faint smirk on your face, which only intensified the heat in Abby's cheeks as she moistened her lips with her tongue. she guessed you set the phone down on the vanity that was next to your door. not like she would know.
She knew you were toying with her, teasing her.
"I guess if that guy was practically fucking me with just his eyes…" you trailed off, slipping off your bra straps and sliding your fingers to the back of the bra. You unclipped it, letting it fall pathetically to the floor. "He deserves a round, don't you think?"
Putting it that way, it didn't make much sense, but that was based on Abby's own perspective.
Abby's mouth was slightly agape as she fell into a trance, mesmerized by how perky your tits were. Your hips began to sway, causing your stomach to roll as you slowly grind your ass on the edge of the bed. She could already feel her clit swelling with need.
"you want to help clean up a murder? be my guest." she remarked, her tongue finding her lips again, feeling her mouth go dry once more. There was already a pool forming between her legs that she couldn't wait to get taken care of.
She hears you chuckle dryly, feeling your nipples harden even more at her possessiveness. You love the idea that she could control you, even if you wouldn't let her but who knows what the future holds?
You grip the bed frame next to you for balance as you begin to grind your ass against the edge harder. Abby can hear the friction and the bed creaking. She absolutely loves watching you. It's all she ever does—fantasizing about this exact moment, but instead of it being over the phone, you're the one riding her until sunset.
You let out a moan, your head falling back.
"You're fucking loving this, aren���t you?" Your voice is still high-pitched from your previous moan as you stare into the camera. You watch as Abby keeps licking her lips, not even blinking. Fuck yeah, she's loving it.
Your tits bounced with every movement your hips made. You gripped them, squeezing your breast and pinching your own nipples, desperately trying to get yourself off. You wanted Abby to be up there with you, doing all of this, but you also wanted to teach her a lesson—a lesson Abby needed to learn.
Reaching down, Abby's hand stopped at her crotch area on her beige cargo pants, pressing her finger down on her clothed clit as she let out a groan. "Touch yourself," she demanded.
You tsked a couple of times, waving your finger and shaking your head. "you're in no position to bark out orders, Anderson.” you retorted before standing up. Abby moans at how her name rolled off your tongue so fucking seductively.
“fuck..” a smirk creeped up on your face, hearing Abbys muttered profanity.
Your fingertips trailed the bed lightly as you walked towards the middle of the bed, grabbing a pillow. Abby remained on the edge of the couch, ready to get up and barge in there.
You climbed onto the bed, your back to the camera as you straddled the pillow. "just watching me like a good dog, huh?” you moaned out, grinding your pussy against the pillow, feeling your orgasm drawing near. “sadly, there’s no treat.”
Abby couldn't peel her eyes away from you. She was afraid that if she looked away, she'd miss how your ass jiggled with every movement. "I always loved when you watched me… with that look in your eyes, like you owned my existence," you said, your hair flowing down to your back, slightly hiding your ass and teasing her by not giving her a full view.
then, something in Abby's mind clicked. She realized she was eye-fucking you just like that guy did, exposing her own hypocrisy. You wanted to prove that to her.
"That guy can fucking stare all he wants, but you know who can really satisfy you.." Abby managed to let out, releasing a breath she didn't realize she was holding.
you smirked, slowly disappearing as you grind harder and faster against the pillow, moaning out as you felt yourself getting closer. "mm.. oh fuck…yes."
Abby have had enough. The heat between her legs was unbearable now. She needed you badly—to watch you, to taste you, to give you a good fuck.
not before punishing you at least.
she stood up from the couch and walked towards your room, her eyes still fixed on the screen as you continued to grind on your pillow, now soaked with your wetness. you could hear the faint footsteps approaching your door, your heart racing with anticipation.
Abby grabbed the knob and twisted it, but it was locked. are you fucking..
"Open the door," she demanded, looking down at the phone, watching as you focused on reaching your orgasm. "Oh fuck, Abby. I'm so close," your voice echoed from the phone and inside your room.
She twisted the door multiple times, nearly breaking it. "Fucking open the door. Now," she urged, feeling the desperation rise within her as she heard your pleasure-filled moans.
you felt yourself reaching your orgasm as your body shook with pleasure. "Oh, yes, please... I’m coming, I'm coming!”
Abby banged against the door desperately, sure that she was going to break it if you didn't open up before you came. "I swear to god if you don't open this fucking door!” Don’t fucking come without me
You let out the longest, most pornographic moan, her name echoing throughout the walls. Abby punched the wall beside the door. your body is fucking mine.
As you came down from your high, you whispered, "Too bad…" with ragged breaths as you looked over your shoulder, reaching over for the phone, bring it to your lips. "..You can only watch me," you whispered.
Abby's phone made a sound as it went dark, signaling that you ended the call. She stood outside your door, feeling a mixture of frustration and arousal, unable to contain her desire for you and the wetness between her legs. 
She leaned into the door as if you was there in front of her. in a low voice, she say, “you better hope you don’t fucking see me tomorrow.”
You laid in your bed, catching your breath with a grin, excited for what said tomorrow will bring. 
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whorergal · 1 year
Text
SHE'S MINE (PART TWO)
summary: after you've been attacked, the group becomes cautious and confused, now being targeted as well. but you still can't get over the fact that ghostface had helped you and why you think you know who it may be. and maybe you wouldn't mind keeping a secret.
warnings: scream vi spoilers, language (cussing), blood, gore. it follows the plot loosely.
pairings: ethan landry x fem!reader
authors note: hiiii i really hope u enjoy :-) also i have no idea if mindy shared the apartment with tara, sam and quinn but if she didn’t, we're just going to pretend she does and i also altered ethan's motive a bit too for this (lowkey was inspired by don't blame me by taylor swift so if you like listening to music when reading, i recommend that song for this part)
❗️: you can find part one here and part three here if you need it :3
———————————————————————————
The hospital visit wasn't as long as you anticipated. Two of the stabs you endured hadn't cut deep so they were able to stitch it upon your first visit and they closed up that same night—it still hurt like a bitch. Your previous stab wound was the worst one overall as the stitching process was a lot more painful because your skin was sensitive as it had been punctured once before.
When you were released, Sam took you under her care. She didn't feel safe having you and Anika alone in your apartment since the attack so she offered her, Tara, Mindy and Quinn's home to you two. It didn't really matter for Anika as she was always there in the first place but it bothered you.
You didn't mean to feel unappreciative but you hated being controlled by useless fear. Whether or not Ghostface attacked you in your home, he would find them someway or another; it didn't matter where you were. But, you agreed in order to clear her conscious.
They didn't ask much questions when you were in the hospital. After the second Ghostface left the apartment, you remembered blacking out and waking up in the hospital bed with Anika by your side. The doctor wouldn't let anyone come in since you were preparing for surgery but decided to let Anika stay since she was your roommate.
Her story was that your security system she had built when you two first moved in had went off when the second Ghostface broke in. Her and Mindy didn't tell everyone before leaving because they didn't want to risk not making it in time. The frat house was only a block down so they just ran their way to your building, ultimately finding your unconscious body on the kitchen floor.
Anika told you that they had met Ethan at the entrance of the building when the ambulance was called and said you called him, which was true but you wondered what took him so long. You were highly suspicious of him but you didn't want to be because he was your best-friend, you couldn't imagine him having anything to do with this.
Ever since that night, he was around, a lot. He even skipped his Econ classes to keep you company because Sam didn't want you to be alone and everyone else was busy.
You didn't ask him about what happened. You were afraid of what the outcome would be. But you knew you had to do something in order to understand. At least interrogating the truth out of him (because he couldn't lie to you) would give you peace of mind—well, depending on the answer.
"You don't have to be here, you know." You broke the silence, watching him write notes from the lecture he was missing.
"But I want to be," he told you honestly.
"E, you're missing Econ. You have an exam this week."
"I'll be fine, don't worry." He looked up from his notebook, putting the lecture video on pause to give you his full attention. "I don't want anything to happen to you again."
"Ghostface rarely attacks in the daytime," you joked.
"Still, Y/N/N." He was being serious. "Your stitches haven't even fully healed yet."
"This isn't the first time." You sighed. "Plus, Ghostface never attacks the same person twice."
"Says who?"
"Says Mindy."
Ethan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, I don't want to take any chances."
It went back to comfortable silence. You went back to reading your book for your English class while he continued to write his notes. After a couple more minutes, you decided to ask the question that had been eating you alive.
"What took you so long?" you asked randomly.
He furrowed his brows, turning to look at you. "What do you mean?"
"When I was attacked," you clarified. "I called you and you said you and Chad were on the way. Anika and Mindy beat you to it and Chad wasn't even with you when you arrived."
Ethan looked away, his face becoming pale. "Well, I went to go find Chad when you were on the call but I couldn't find him so I decided to leave. I didn't realize how much time I wasted until I saw police lights outside your building."
That was the first and final conversation you two had about it. You gathered what you knew from it but, again, you didn't want to believe he was Ghostface. Unless he wasn't and used the costume to throw the other one off. But where could he buy a replica of it that quickly and still be able to make it in time to save you? It didn't make sense.
You kept this realization to yourself. You felt guilty for it, especially because if he was apart of the plan in harming your friends, this smudge of proof could be enough to hold him accountable before it was taken too far. Of course, you didn't listen to yourself and decided to keep his secret that he wasn't even sure you knew because of how much you liked him.
On the third day of your recovery, your stitching was finally beginning to heal. It hurt to bend down and sometimes walk because it worked the muscles underneath the wound but you couldn't stand doing nothing anymore.
You made the excuse that you were planning to meet Ethan at his dorm for the night because you promised to help him with Econ. Sam wasn't exactly keen on the idea, wondering why he couldn't come to meet you here but you told her you were beginning to feel claustrophobic and wanted to get out. She didn't say much in defense and reluctantly agreed.
They all offered to walk you there just in case something were to happen but you brushed them off. If your assumption about Ethan was correct, he wouldn't let anything happen to you.
The subway was packed because it was nearing Halloween and it took you awhile to finally make it inside one. And the thirty minute ride to campus added onto the time. It was around twelve at night when you arrived at his dorm.
First, you decided to knock. Nobody answered. Then you remembered he had an Econ lecture to attend for the night and took out the extra key he had given you awhile ago and unlocked it yourself.
Honestly, you were glad he wasn't there because it would make your digging a lot more easier.
You searched through everything he owned. Through his drawers (which you highly regretted), under his bed, inside some of his unpacked bags—everywhere but you couldn't find anything that incriminated him.
It had been what felt like hours, but was really only thirty minutes, when you gave up. Your phone was going off but you didn't pay any mind to it because the group had consistently texted you ever since your attack; you just assumed it was them checking up on you and then getting paranoid because you weren't answering. Even if you knew you should've checked, you didn't bother as you were going to head back to the apartment anyway.
You quietly snuck out of the room, making sure the coast was clear until you turned your head to the left and saw Ghostface, waiting there for you. When you tried to scream, they grabbed your face with their hand, restricting your voice from releasing.
They were strong, being able to grab your entire body with their one arm and toss you carelessly back into the room.
You hit the floor, wincing at the impact because of your stitches. Ghostface shut the door behind them, looking down at you. They stalked toward you very slowly as you made sure to keep your distance from them.
Using the dresser that stood behind you, you lifted yourself up with your available arm as the other clutched your stitching instinctively to keep you balanced. It was a silent stare-down until they reached for their mask, untucking it from the behind. Then, they pulled it off.
You stared in shock. "…Ethan?"
"Y/N." He didn't have much expression on his face. He looked out of breath as you could see sweat shimmering on his face from the lighting.
"Oh, my god," You breathed out. Although you suspected him this whole time, finally being able to know it was the truth hurt you more than being stabbed. "You're Ghostface."
"What the hell are you doing here?" Ethan ignored your statement as he furrowed his brows.
"I knew it. I knew you were the one who saved me," you confessed. "That's why I'm here."
"You shouldn't be here," he told you, shaking his head.
"You're trying to kill me and our friends and you're telling me what I shouldn't be doing?!"
"Y/N, there's more to this than you know."
"That much is obvious," you snapped. He tried to step toward you but you backed up. "Stay away from me."
"Please, just listen to me," Ethan began to plead.
"You let them attack me!"
"No, I didn't!" he declared, lowering his voice when he saw it made you flinch. "They promised to leave you out of it. That was the only thing I told them to do."
"They?" you repeated in confusion.
He thought over his response for a second. "Look, what I'm doing—what I've done—is for a good reason. You have to understand."
You furrowed your brows. "What have you done, E?" You couldn't help but use his nickname; you couldn't help but try to hear him out.
"Y/N." He walked toward you slowly and this time, you didn't back away from him. "You're the only thing I care about. If it means I have to kill a thousand people to keep you safe, then I'd do it."
"I don't understand." Your voice was almost a mumble.
"I agreed to do this before I met you but when I did, it all changed. I-I tried to convince them to stop. I wanted to try and be good—for you but she found out and threatened to kill you if I didn't continue with the plan so I did with the exception that they would leave you out of it," he explained softly. "I did this…for you."
You looked at him like he was insane (he kind of was). "You'd kill our friends?"
"If it meant that you'd be safe."
His words didn't completely register but when they did, you couldn't help but feel guilty. You had a crush on him for so long and here he was, basically confessing his love for you in such a fucked up way. You hated yourself for finding him even more attractive after hearing him say those words.
"Ethan…" you whispered his name.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked. "Can I please kiss you?"
You didn't give him an answer as you closed the space between the two of you.
It seemed wrong—no, it was wrong. Kissing him while he still wore the Ghostface robe, one that he wore while taking someone's life.
You knew he wasn't wearing this costume for fun. They only ever wore it for a purpose. Even though your mind was totally blanked because of how dumb his lips made you, when you pulled apart, you began to think about where he had come from and who he had just killed and why you weren't more concerned about the matter.
He chased after your lips, kissing you again with more force this time, even pulling you closer by the waist. You only pulled away because you were receiving a call.
You pulled your phone out from your pocket, the reality setting in when you saw Sam's contact. He looked down with you, not doing much in keeping you from answering. It took you a couple more seconds of contemplating until you decided to click the green button, putting the phone to your ear.
You took a deep breath before answering. "Hello?"
"Y/N, what the hell?!" Sam hollered into the speaker, her voice mixed with relief and annoyance. "Why weren't you answering? Are you okay?!"
"Yeah, I'm fine," you replied rather nonchalantly. "I had my phone off. What's wrong, Sam?"
There was a short beat. "Ghostface attacked us."
You furrowed your brows, glancing at Ethan. "What?"
"Yeah, he killed Quinn and…"
"And?" you repeated instantly. "Who else, Sam?"
"Anika…" Sam's voice was barely above a whisper. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. I-I tried to help her."
You shut your eyes, feeling tears starting to build. There was silence on the line and you were sure it was because Sam didn't want to say anything knowing you would be taking her death as personal as Mindy did.
Suddenly, your stab wounds began to throb which made you let out a grunt. You knew better than to cry over Anika only because it would achieve nothing. Yes, it was messed up that you were now standing in the room with her murderer, watching him undress himself of his black robe that he wore while killing her but you realized nothing you could've said or done—whether you got to him before she died—could've changed her outcome.
You watched him pull out a hunting knife from his back pocket, the silver glistening with dried blood. That blood probably belonged to Anika and Quinn. It made your throat go dry.
"Sam," you blurted quietly.
"What, Y/N?"
You were going to say it; tell her the truth. It was the right thing to do. Ethan, even if you liked him a lot, had just murdered your best friend and one of Sam's. They deserved the justice of their murderer being caught.
But when he walked back over to you, his eyes scanning your expression, you had already picked your choice.
"Y/N, what? Are you okay?" Sam's voice echoed in your mind.
"Yeah, yeah, it's just…" You tried to find the words. "Is everyone else okay? Did you get hurt?"
"We're fine. Mindy got cut but she's fine," Sam answered softly. "Can you come down here? I'd feel a lot better if you were here with us. Plus, I'm sure you can comfort Mindy than the rest of us. She doesn't want to be anywhere near Tara or Chad."
You let out a shaky breath. "Yeah. Ethan and I are on our way."
"Ethan?" she questioned.
"Yeah. Remember I told you I was going to meet him at his dorm? I was with him the whole night," you lied.
"Oh, okay." Sam sighed into the speaker. "That's good to hear, actually. Mindy thinks Ethan was the one behind all of this but if you were with him then it checks him out."
"Don't worry, Sam," you said. "We'll be there shortly."
"Okay, see you soon. Be safe."
You nodded, even though she couldn't see you and then hung up.
"You kept my secret?" Ethan asked.
You shook your head. "I shouldn't have. You killed Anika and Quinn."
He bit his lip, nodding calmly. "I know, I know. It wasn't exactly my first choice. But I had to for saving you the other night."
"Yeah, I know," you mumbled. "But did you mean it?"
"Mean what?" He furrowed his brows.
"What you said about wanting to be good?" You repeated his words. "Because that's the only reason I saved your ass. I should hate you. You killed Anika."
"Y/N/N," he said softly, walking over to grab your hands. "I only did this to protect you. They made me think my original motive was right but it's actually fucked up. I realized that the moment I met you. So, yes, I do mean it. And I'm sorry about Anika. I didn't really want to do it either."
You mulled over his words, looking down at your connected hands until you finally spoke. "Okay. Then, I'll help you," you informed him. "But, in order for me to do that, I need to know everything."
Let's just say it was an interesting conversation.
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thepenguinwriter · 7 months
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Adam x Lute x reader headcanons?
Adam ☆ Lute ☆ Opposites attract
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Includes; gn!angel!reader, polyamorous relationship, romantic relationship, mentions of trust issues, Adam and Lute shenanigans
- ☆ You knew Adam and Lute quite well, as a higher ranking angel in Heaven
- ☆ The three of you hung out around each other a lot
- ☆ This usually meant Adam taking you and Lute to his concerts, or just you three shit-talking others
- ☆ And being so close to them, you know very well that both Adam and Lute are stubborn freaks
- ☆ It wasn't clear who developed feelings first because none of you showed ANY signs
- ☆ After a while you couldn't take it anymore and you had to confess to both of them
- ☆ They took it... surprisingly well for themselves
"Uh, yeah, duh! Me and dangertits are awesome, why wouldn't you love us?"
"Sir, I think they meant love.. in the romantic way."
"Ohhhh! You wanna date both of us?"
- ☆ Adam figured it out surprisingly quickly!
- ☆ It took a bit for Lute to be comfortable about the idea, but eventually she agreed
- ☆ Dating both of them at the same time can be a bit.. exhausting
- ☆ And not because you don't love them, no, you do
- ☆ But their love language and experience is SO different
- ☆ On one hand, you have a touchy ass Adam who's already lost 2 WIVES to the SAME GUY
- ☆ He's gonna have some baaad trust issues at first
- ☆ He just doesn't want you to leave him like literally every romantic partner he's had so far
- ☆ On the other, you have Lute, who has ZERO experience with romance
- ☆ She's meant to kill, not love!
- ☆ Yet here she is
- ☆ It takes time for her to adjust to the relationship
- ☆ Her love language is most likely acts of service
- ☆ She never tells you or Adam that she loves you directly
- ☆ What she WILL do is leave you a cup of coffee in the morning when she's not there, or help you preen your wings
- ☆ The ultimate chaos ensues when you three are all together
- ☆ Doesn't matter what you're doing, it WILL end in Adam finding any excuse to kiss both of you
- ☆ Man needs your attention 24/7
- ☆ Lute is always more quiet, but you can tell by the faint smile on her face whenever she's around you that she enjoys being with you and Adam
- ☆ And whenever the three of you are home, cuddling in bed, you feel so lucky to have two vastly different angels at your side.
A/N: Thank youu for requesting anon! Since I'm personally not poly I hope I captured this relationship well 😅 yall are suckers for more Adam content and honestly me too. But I'd love to write more for Lute too, she's so interesting!
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sillybond · 1 year
Text
As a send of here's my compilation of every detail/gag or pretty much everything that I loved about the Fionna and Cake finale.
First off, the lighthearded stuff.
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First of all. That's Hunter!!! We finally get to see HW gender-swapped counterpart's design. Gotta say I love that they kept it the same, it does feel like it could fit anyone.
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Talking about him, I LOVE that they are finally adding him to the gang. I didn't expect him to be so prevalent in the finale, but I couldn't be happier! It seems like the crew has finnaly learned to apreciate HW and they are inserting her (even if it's Hunter) whenever they can.
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All the raw emotion of the lich would have been unheard of at any other point in AT's history. The depression and hopelessnes, such human emotions were amazing to explore in him. He poses himself as a "ceesless weel" a god-like beeing of pure destruction, but even he neels when he realices it was all for nothing.
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For some time I theorized that Golb (and subsequently Golbetty) was, in fact, Scarabs and Prismo's Boss. Kind of like a ultimate deity, high up on the pantheon. But seeing how Scarab adresses her in such a careles way, emphasizing that she should "stay out of this" made me think about the real power dinamic between thees two. And thus, of the whole multiverse bureocracy.
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This tittle card rips me apart. It's briming with thematic importance. But I feel so many emotions simply beacuse it says cheers, it's like a send-off, a happy cheerfull goodbye to all of us who enjoyed this show. It made me tear up a bit when I first saw it.
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For thoose who aren't aware Pawn Swan's was created by Steven Wolfhard after CAWM alongside the pup kingdom. He has in his tumblr a gigantic amount of lore about it. I'm sooo happy they finally got to use his ideas and designs. Many of the pups seen all trought Shermy and Beth's sequence were in his drawings too. So go check that out!
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I'm a complete sucker for happy endings and THIS was PERFECTION. I simply connot describe how much I obsolutely LOVE that they are able to comunicate and talk. it's just perfect, this show has me spoiled-rotten.
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In pure Marceline fashion Marshal tries playing another song. And Gary is soo into this man it's unreal
But, also in pure Marceline fashion, he gets interupted. It kind of reminded me about Marceline's song to Bonny in Obsidian. But it's kind of the oposite outcome, Scarab isn't affected by it at all while Glorbo is finaly delt with.
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Talking about Simon being happy. I'm just so glad that he has been able to reconect with Astrid!!! This man is such a DAD, I love him :,)
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Before Fionna's world was finaly canonized we can see that it really just amounts to the city. Which makes sense because if you are trying to put a whole world in a dude's head, you are going to have to cut some stuff out.
Anyways, after they are made legit we can see that the city has expanded! And I also assume that now there's not only a city, but a whole world too!!
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This really came as a surprise honeslty, but a welcomed one at that. I assume that since Jay agrees to stay in the city, even if it's not forever, Farmworld Finn must be fine. It doesn't make any sense for him to drop his 4 little brothers just to screw around in another universe.
The only sad part is that, since we don't see neither PB nor Marcy in the tank that means they are probably dead. In the end it does seem like they took eachothers life, together.
Now onto the heavy stuff!
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"This is the world we want to fight for. The Scarab is kind of invincible. But we won't give up. If we die, we'll die together, as ourselves"
This cuts deep. At this moment Fionna was ready to die. She acknowledges that she had tried everything she could and that, in a way, it was her fault. But she also understands that this is what it is. And she's ready to depart. In what she thought were her last moments she found happines in thoose and that around her. Magic or not, they were all together, and that's what mattered.
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"We made our choices. We could have made better ones, but I don't have any regrets. You were a wonderful experience"
We knew Simon had wronged Betty. She had put away everything for him. He didn't do it on porpuse, but he recognised he could have been more thoughtful. In the end, while Simon acknowledges his mistakes Betty doesn't demonise neither him nor the relationship that came bacuse of it. It's a very sentimental, heartfelt conclusion.
As humans we often try to make our best to navigate life. But with all the choices in front of us it's very hard to get it right. A lot of time might have to pass before we truly see how wrong we were. We realize that we hurt people, and that things didn't have to be this way. But once we acknowledge this we can finaly move on. At this moment, Simon realizes that it's okay to fail but, unfortunetly, we can't go back. We have to live with it and it can't prevent us from moving forward.
In the end all we can do is have compassion for ourselves, and for each other.
That was pretty much all of the details and highlights for me. There's some other ones but they are kind of too obvious to point out.
Thanks a lot for reading the whole thing! It means a lot :)
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inmyfxith · 2 years
Text
How they would react if... they realize you're blushing while talking to them
Including -> Neteyam, Lo'ak, Kiri, Neytiri, Jake, Miles Socorro and Aonung
A/N -> I'm not 100% sure about this, feel free to tell me if you like this format, if you have ideas for preferences or if you don't agree with what I wrote here.
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If Neteyam notices that you are blushing while talking to him, he may feel flattered and delighted ad he would interpret your reaction as a sign that you are attracted to him or that you enjoy his company. He may flash a warm and friendly smile and try to engage you in further conversation. As a natural charmer and people-pleaser, Neteyam would likely try to put you at ease and make you feel comfortable. He might use his charisma and sense of humor to make you laugh or engage you in lighthearted conversation. He may also try to find common ground and build a deeper connection with you by exploring your interests and sharing his own.
Neteyam and you were sitting by the river, chatting about your interests. As you talked, he noticed that you were blushing and he couldn't help but feel flattered.
"Is everything okay?" Neteyam asked, sensing that you might be feeling a bit nervous.
You nodded, trying to compose yourself. "Yes, I'm fine. It's just that... I don't know. I get a bit nervous when I talk to you. You make me feel... I don't know. It's hard to explain."
Neteyam smiled and reached out to take your hand. "I'm glad you feel that way," he said. "I really enjoy talking to you too. You're so interesting and engaging."
You blushed even more, feeling your face get hot. "Thank you," you said, looking down at your hands.
Neteyam squeezed your hand gently, trying to reassure you. "There's no need to be nervous," he added. "We're just two people having a conversation. And I really like spending time with you.
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If Lo’ak notices that you are blushing while talking to him, he would likely feel flattered and delighted by your attraction to him. He might be touched by your shyness and try to make you feel more at ease with kind and understanding words or actions. Alternatively, he may try to lighten the mood with a joke or other form of humor to help you feel more comfortable in the moment.
Lo'ak stood in front of you, his piercing yellow eyes studying your face as you struggled to maintain eye contact. Suddenly, he noticed a faint blush creeping up your cheeks, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
"Hey, what's this?" he asked, reaching out to gently brush his fingers against your cheek. "Are you blushing?"
You nodded, feeling your cheeks grow even hotter. Lo'ak chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
"Well, I must be doing something right," he said, his voice soft and playful. "I didn't know I had that effect on you."
He took a step closer, his hand still resting lightly on your cheek. "You know, you don't have to be shy around me," he said. "I'm here for you, no matter what. And I love you, just the way you are."
You felt your heart swell at his words, and you looked up at him, your eyes shining with emotion.
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If Kiri catches you blushing while talking to her, is likely to sense that something is troubling you and may instinctively want to offer her support and understanding. She may also be more inclined to be open and honest about her own feelings towards you, expressing her emotions openly and honestly. Kiri might use a variety of nonverbal cues to show her concern, such as tilting her head, making eye contact, or reaching out to touch you gently. She might also ask open-ended questions or make supportive statements, hoping to encourage you to share your feelings and to feel more at ease.
Kiri's ultimate goal in this situation would be to create a safe and supportive space for you to open up and feel comfortable expressing yourself. As Kiri listens to your feelings and tries to understand your perspective, she may also be more inclined to express her own feelings and emotions openly. This might involve sharing her own experiences or struggles, or simply letting you know how much she cares about you and values your relationship.
Kiri and you were walking through the forest, enjoying each other's company and the beauty of the surroundings. You were lost in conversation, talking about your hopes and dreams for the future, when suddenly you felt a wave of nervousness wash over you. Your cheeks began to burn and you couldn't help but blush.
Kiri noticed your sudden change in demeanor and stopped walking. She looked at you with concern in her eyes. "Are you okay?" she asked, her voice full of kindness and concern.
You took a deep breath and tried to compose yourself. "I-I'm fine," you stammered, hoping that Kiri wouldn't notice your blush.
But Kiri was too perceptive. She reached out and gently touched your cheek, a small smile on her face. "It's okay," she said soothingly. "I can see that something is bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?"
You hesitated for a moment, but then you felt a wave of relief wash over you. Kiri's understanding and supportive nature made it easier for you to open up. You told her about your fears and doubts, and how you sometimes felt like you weren't good enough.
Kiri listened attentively, her eyes filled with understanding and empathy. When you finished speaking, she took your hand in hers and squeezed it gently. "You are amazing," she said softly. "Don't ever forget that. I love you, and I will always be here for you."
You felt a warm feeling spread through your chest, and you knew that Kiri's words were true. She had always been there for you, and you knew that she always would be. You leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek, feeling grateful and loved.
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If Neytiri sees you blushing while talking to her, she might react with surprise or confusion at first. However, she is likely to be pleased and flattered by your response, as it could indicate that you are feeling nervous or self-conscious around her. She might smile and make eye contact with you, trying to gauge your emotions and reassure you that everything is okay.
For example, if you are having a deep and meaningful conversation with Neytiri, and she notices that you are blushing, she might pause for a moment and gently place her hand on yours. She might say something like, "Is everything alright? You seem a bit flustered. You can talk to me about anything." This kind of gentle and caring approach is typical of Neytiri, who is known for her empathy and understanding.
On the other hand, if the conversation is more lighthearted and playful, Neytiri might react by teasing you a bit. She might say something like, "Are you blushing because you like me? That's so cute!" This kind of teasing is meant to be playful and not meant to be taken too seriously. It is just a way for Neytiri to have fun and connect with you on a deeper level.
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If Jake notices that you are blushing while talking to him, he may initially interpret it as a sign that you are feeling self-conscious or embarrassed about something. However, if your blushing is persistent and accompanied by other indications of attraction, sustained eye contact, or closeness, Jake may start to pick up on these cues and realize that you are interested in him. In this case, he may respond by becoming more flirtatious or affectionate, or he may simply continue the conversation in an effort to get to know you better. Jake is likely to be respectful and considerate towards you, as he values honesty and direct communication in his relationships.
As Jake and you were having a conversation, he noticed that you kept blushing every time he made a joke or complimented you. At first, he thought it was just because you were feeling nervous, but as the conversation went on, he started to realize that there might be something more to it. Jake couldn't help but feel a little bit flattered and intrigued by your sudden display of shyness. He decided to try to get to the bottom of it by being a little bit more direct and flirty with you.
"Hey, why are you blushing so much?" he asked with a playful smile. "Is it something I said or did?"
You felt your cheeks flush even deeper at his question, and you couldn't help but feel a little bit embarrassed. But at the same time, you couldn't deny the attraction you were feeling towards Jake.
"I-I don't know," you stammered, trying to play it cool. "I guess I just really like talking to you."
Jake's smile widened at your admission, and he couldn't help but feel a little bit pleased with himself.
"Well, I really like talking to you too," he said, leaning a little bit closer. "And I can't help but feel like there's a little bit more to it than that. Do you have a crush on me or something?"
You felt your heart skip a beat at his bold question, and you knew that you couldn't deny your feelings any longer.
"Yes," you said softly, looking up at him with a hopeful expression. "I think I do."
Jake's eyes lit up at your confession, and he couldn't help but feel a little bit giddy at the thought of you being interested in him.
"Well, in that case," he said with a smile, "I think it's time for me to make my move. May I have the pleasure of taking you out on a date sometime?"
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(if you have a good gif for Miles, please let me know ! I'm unable to find one)
If Miles notices that you are blushing while talking to him, he may feel flattered and delighted by your reaction. He may interpret your blush as a sign of attraction, which could encourage and uplift him. In response, Miles might smile warmly at you and express his happiness through a gentle touch on your hand or face. He may also feel more comfortable and confident expressing his love for you, especially if he senses that you are receptive to his feelings.
Alternatively, Miles might decide to be more cautious or reserved in his approach. He might worry about coming across as too forward or intimidating, and try to be more subtle in his advances toward you. He might take things slowly and try to gauge your feelings before making any bold moves. Miles is likely to be deeply affected by your blush and will try to find ways to show you how much he cares about you.
Miles and you are walking along a beautiful Pandoran beach, enjoying each other's company and the warm sunshine. As you talk, Miles notices that you are starting to blush, and he can't help but feel flattered and pleased by your reaction.
"What's got you blushing like that?" Miles asks, grinning at you.
You look away, feeling a little embarrassed. "I don't know, I guess I just feel nervous around you," they admit.
Miles's face lights up with delight. "Nervous? Why would you be nervous around me?" he asks, reaching out to take your hand. "I'm just a big, goofy monkey boy."
You laugh and look back at him, your eyes sparkling with affection. "That's exactly why I'm nervous," you say, smiling. "I don't want to mess anything up with you."
Miles's heart feels full of warmth and love as he looks at you. He can't believe that someone so amazing and kind could be nervous around him. "You could never mess anything up with me," he says, leaning in to give you a soft, tender kiss. "I love you, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life."
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Credit for the pic -> Here
If Aonung notices that you are blushing while talking to him, he may interpret this as a sign that you are interested in him and feel more confident in pursuing a potential relationship. He may attempt to flirt or show his own interest through playful or subtle gestures.
For example, Aonung may make a joking comment in an effort to gauge your reaction and see if you are receptive to his advances. If you seem open to flirting or building a connection, Aonung may continue to try and find common interests or activities to bond over. Alternatively, he may try to spend more time with you and get to know you better through one-on-one conversations or shared activities.
Aonung stood in front of you, his piercing blue eyes fixed on yours as he waited for your response. You couldn't help but feel a flush of warmth spread across your cheeks as you tried to think of something to say.
"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" Aonung asked with a wink and a smile, his voice laced with playful mischief.
You couldn't help but laugh at his joke, your nerves melting away under the warmth of his gaze. "It's definitely hot in here," you replied, hoping he wouldn't notice your blush.
But Aonung was quick to pick up on your discomfort, and he stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "Don't be nervous, I'm not gonna bite," he said, his voice low and reassuring. "I just wanted to talk to you."
You felt your heart skip a beat at his touch, and you found yourself nodding, suddenly eager to spend more time with Aonung. He grinned in response, and took your hand, leading you towards a quiet corner where you could sit and chat.
As you sat together, talking about your interests and passions, you couldn't help but feel drawn to Aonung's bold and confident personality. He was charming and witty, and you found yourself laughing and smiling as he told you stories of his adventures and exploits.
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the-way-astray · 3 months
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The Ultimate Anti-Keefe Sencen Rant (Part One: Keeper through the first half of Unlocked)
taglist: @ahoyimlosingmymind @lucyshypemaster @myfairkatiecat @lilliesandlight @noideawhattodoorsay @sacrificialloving @i-want-to-be-hit-by-a-car @loreintheaether @whatistheretofearlookatrunfrom
Disclaimers before I start:
Do not, I repeat, do not hit that read more button right now. You will regret it. I promise you, you want to open this post in a new tab before you hit that button. This post brings new meaning to the word "long". To give you some numbers, this post is about 75 pages long in Google Docs, size 12 Times New Roman font. It took me more than three hours to read through it. You shouldn't expect to read this entire thing in one sitting. Do not, under any circumstances, hit that button without opening this post in a new tab. I'm warning you.
This rant will be very biased against Keefe. I'm only listing the things I do not like about Keefe. I have not listed a single thing I enjoy about him, few that there are. So if you're going into this looking for an unbiased "pros and cons" analysis, you've come to the wrong place. This is not an analysis. This is a rant. Do not confuse the two.
I will only list things I do not like about Keefe. If you want to argue that "oh, but [other character] did that too, and you didn't mention them!!!" that's because I'm not getting into any gripes with any other characters in this particular post. I despise Forkle just as much as I despise Keefe, for instance, but this is not a Mr. Forkle rant. This is a Keefe rant. This is solely focused on the things I do not like about Keefe. I may or may not agree with you on whether that other character that supposedly did the same thing deserves to be scrutinized for it, but the point still stands that I will not be getting into any Keefe vs. [other character] debates. In my rant, I do occasionally compare Keefe to other characters, but that's just to highlight my points about Shannon's treatment of him.
I am not a Sophitz shipper. I don't ship Sophie with anyone, actually. This rant does not come from a place of "Fitz is a better love interest for Sophie because Keefe sucks so much!!!" I will just put that to bed right now.
Feel free to pick fights with me or tell me that I'm not being fair. Feel free to counter every single one of my arguments. But please don't make bad faith arguments like "Keefe was basically just waiting around for Sophie and Fitz to break up in Legacy!!!" that are just not true in the slightest. (Yes, that is in defense of Keefe, I'm just trying to show an example of a bad faith argument.) I tried my best to be fair and not extrapolate anything beyond what I genuinely think Shannon Messenger intended for the audience to understand. So if you want to make a counter-argument, I kind of expect the same.
I actually really like fanon Keefe. No problems there whatsoever. Every single gripe I have is with canon Keefe. So, obviously I will only be discussing canon Keefe moments in this rant. I won't be talking about fandom issues at all.
My problems arise with both Keefe the person (his personality) and Keefe the character (the way he's written/his character arcs/development), so obviously this will be heavily critical of Shannon Messenger's writing. Just be aware. But I don't hate Shannon. In YouTuber withcindy's words, I find her writing to be unbearable sometimes, but I hope she gets her coin. I don't want this to make anyone hate Shannon. I don't hate her, her writing choices just frustrate me sometimes and I think it's fair to criticize them. There are many things I love about Keeper, like the worldbuilding (I have an entire post in my drafts ranting about how great the world is for the themes Keeper's trying to convey). I directly "address" Shannon at several points, but that's mostly for the sake of not making this a boring slog to get through.
I don't have physical copies of Keeper, Exile, Lodestar, or Nightfall as of the making of this rant. So quotes from those don't have citations. Every other book has a page number. I probably should've cited chapter numbers instead for those four but I didn't think of that at the time. Oh, well.
This will be very negative and discourse-y. I'm not really planning on sugar-coating anything. In my opinion, it's really important to be able to criticize the things you love, and I do love Keeper. So if you want to have a purely positive, uncritical fandom experience, it's probably not a good idea to keep going. Also, if you ship Sokeefe or like Keefe, just be prepared. While I personally do not believe they/he were written well, I understand that some people do enjoy them/him. I don't want this rant to make any people that genuinely love Sokeefe or Keefe start hating them/him. If you don't like Keefe or Sokeefe, you've probably come to the right place.
This entire rant is my personal opinion. We can agree to disagree. I get that some things I say are completely subjective, such as when I talk about Keefe's humor. That doesn't mean I think that anyone who loves Keefe's sense of humor is an idiot. I do use some strong language to describe some things, but that doesn't mean I think people who have different opinions than me are stupid. We just clearly have different tastes when it comes to things like this.
New disclaimer that I need to add right before posting this: I am not that blue anon (or any anti-Sokeefe or anti-Keefe anon). I don't even know how they managed to do that on anon. I also don't think Keefe was emotionally cheating with Sophie in Legacy. That's a completely bizarre statement to make. However, I do find that some of that person's statements are valid, however weirdly and passive-aggressively they made them, but I'm going to try to address it in a more respectful manner. So hopefully, if you continue reading this and you do like Sokeefe or Keefe, you at least understand where I'm coming from.
Keeper
“‘I mean, I can’t really blame her’—he gestured to himself—’but still, it’s awkward, you know?’” I don’t tend to like characters that brag about their looks. I know it’s a popular male-love-interest trope, but I can’t stand it. It makes the author feel like they’re trying way too hard to make the character ““““““cool””””””. Yes, I know he’s joking, but it quickly goes way too far later.
“From his disheveled blond hair to the way he’d rolled up his sleeves and left his shirt untucked, she could tell—he was cool.” Again, the narrative tries way too hard to get us to buy into the “cool bad boy” thing and it just makes me cringe so hard.
“He clearly wasn’t going to let it go [ . . . ]” Just keep in mind, Keefe just met Sophie a second ago and he’s already starting to push her for things she doesn’t want to tell. Yes, in this case, it isn’t particularly serious, but this definitely becomes a habit later on.
“‘Wow, most girls would be crying about a wound like that—most guys too. Even I’d be playing it up for sympathy and stuff.’” Going to let this go because they fix Keefe’s sexist comments in the graphic novel, so it clearly wasn’t intended for him to come across that way, but I’d just like to say that I’m so tired of the casual sexism in YA novels as a way of making a male love interest seem “cooler” or “snarkier”. It makes me cringe every time. (Keefe isn’t the only one that’s like this either. Fitz and Dex both make similarly sexist comments as well earlier: “What is it with girls?” said by Fitz and “Girls” said by Dex.) It comes across as even more annoying when you consider the whole thing about how the Lost Cities are supposed to be gender-equal. Shannon. What the heck.
“‘Makeovers?’ Keefe scoffed behind them. ‘You girls sure know how to have fun. Maybe you can braid each other’s hair and giggle about boys while you’re at it.’” Again, I’m going to let this go because they fix it in the graphic novel, but oh, boy. I have no idea what Shannon was thinking when she wrote this. All the guys make sexist comments, but Keefe easily gets it the worst. It just proves my point about how Shannon jacked it all the way up to eleven in an attempt to make Keefe “cool” and “funny”. 
“‘Actually, maybe that last part is a good idea. You could get the dirt on Foster, find out which guys make her heart go pitter-patter.’” This is completely subjective, but I find Keefe’s general sense of humor to be incredibly cringy. Like, who talks like that and doesn’t immediately cringe at themselves??? In real life, if someone spoke like that, I can guarantee that everyone around them would laugh at them. Also, he still doesn’t know Sophie very well and he continues to put her on the spot.
“‘Eh, that’s what they all say. But deep down girls always have one guy they can’t take their eyes off—isn’t that right, Fitz?’ ‘Why are we talking about this?’ Fitz complained.” Say what you will about Fitz, but I will forever be grateful to him for shutting down that nauseatingly cringy shitshow.
“‘Aw, don’t go getting good at alchemy, Foster.’” Again, this is completely subjective, but I find the way he calls Sophie by her last name to be a cheap trick to make him seem funnier and cooler. Which, in my humble opinion, it doesn’t.
“He winked, reaching for her hand.” Again, completely subjective, but my number one pet peeve when it comes to love interests in fiction is winking. Why is it that everytime an author wants to make a guy “cool”, they just make him wink so much you’d believe he has an eye twitching disorder??? Keefe is so unoriginal as a character. I have seen this sort of male love interest a thousand times in a thousand different YA series. 
“‘It’s almost too easy to annoy you, you know that?’” The thing about Keefe is that he doesn’t just joke around. He usually jokes around with the intention to annoy or embarrass someone. 
“[ . . . ] forced instead to sit alone in the corner while Keefe winked at her [ . . . ]” He winked at her throughout the course of an entire detention??? Wow. That’s just. Okay.
[cut because character limit]
“‘What do we have here?’ Keefe asked, snatching a red box from her thinking cap. He was definitely back to his old self without his father around. He glanced at the card and cracked up. ‘“Dear Sophie. I really enjoyed our dance, and I hope we can do it again sometime. Love, Valin.”’” Another example of Keefe making jokes that are just straight up embarrassing for someone else. Also, he just grabbed her present like that without her permission??? 
“‘I’m just teasing—sheesh.’” Keefe literally pulled the “But it was just a joke!” excuse as justification for putting Sophie on the spot like that. Wow, such a great friend.
“Keefe nudged Dex’s arm, then grinned at Sophie. ‘Interesting.’ ‘What?’ Dex asked. ‘Which one’s your gift, Dex?’ Sophie interrupted. She didn’t have to be a mind reader to know what Keefe was going to tease Dex about.” Here we mark the start of Keefe using his empathy to learn people’s secrets without their consent. He feels not a hint of remorse for it, and instead uses it as a way to breach people’s boundaries and embarrass them. As a lot of people have already said, Keefe is the primary reason empathy should have similar restrictions on it to telepathy. 
“She stared at Dex for a minute, so amazed she wanted to hug him. She knew Keefe would have a field day, though, so she fought the urge.” You shouldn’t be scared to hug your friend in front of your other friend for fear of what the other friend will say. 
“He’d hardly looked at her gift when he opened it, too distracted by the tunic Keefe gave him, which had I know what you’re thinking—and you should be ashamed of yourself embroidered across the front.” I will give credit where credit is due, though. This was cute as hell. But it also makes me frustrated, because it shows that Keefe can be a good friend if he tries. It’s not like he straight-up doesn’t know how to. He just doesn’t. Which is arguably worse.
“‘Yeah, busy juggling two girlfriends,’ Keefe interrupted. Alvar grinned. ‘Three.’ ‘Three?’ Della’s voice was as horrified as her expression. ‘Alvar, that’s awful.’ ‘Are you kidding? It’s awesome!’ Keefe corrected. ‘You’re my hero.’” That’s right, everyone. The sweet, thoughtful, funny, perfect Keefe dreams of being a cheater one day. What the heck, Shannon? Why would you make a guy you clearly want your audience to like and will eventually be the love interest a wannabe cheater? It’s clearly because she wants to make him seem cool and funny! So hilarious. Although this is more on Alvar. I know the fandom headcanons about polyamory, but given the use of the word “juggling”, it’s more likely that Alvar is a cheater. But I will also assume that this was another product of Keeper’s time, and will be changed in the second part of the graphic novel.
“‘All right, enough girly drama,’ Keefe said, shoving his way in. ‘I was part of the rescue too, remember? I’m the one who knew the tree you told Fitz about was the Four Seasons Tree, so if it weren’t for me . . . ’” How self-centered do you have to be to make the rescue about yourself??? Like, my guy. Have some self-awareness. Also, acting like Biana apologizing is just “girly drama” instead of a very real emotional moment is so, so degrading (and misogynistic, yippee). Disgusting behavior (which I wouldn’t mind if he ever apologized for it and showed some development, but it’s Keefe, so he never does, of course). 
“‘Ella!’ Sophie buried her face between the floppy ears, ignoring Keefe’s snickers.” Imagine laughing at your supposed friend (and crush) during an emotionally and physically devastating recovery period because you found it funny that she sleeps with a stuffed animal.
Exile
“‘Hey, a guy’s gotta look his best for the ladies.’ Keefe patted the back of his head. ‘Right, Foster?’” Ah, Keefe’s trademark cringily atrocious “humor” starts again. 
“‘Why do you need my help? Aren’t you the expert?’ Keefe snickered. ‘Ooh, good one, Foster!’” Another thing I don’t like about Keefe is that Shannon uses him as narration sometimes in order to pat her own back over making a joke. Like here, Sophie makes a comment regarding Vika’s ability to train Silveny, and we, the audience are obviously supposed to be like “Ooh, good one, Sophie! Get her ass!” But instead of just letting the audience have their natural reaction, Shannon feels the need to tell us what she thinks we need to feel. It becomes annoying because Keefe does it so much. It’s like Shannon doesn’t trust that the audience will have the correct reaction, so she has Keefe have that reaction so the audience knows what to feel. It’s basically the writing equivalent of saying “Get it? Do you get the joke? The joke was that Sophie made fun of Vika. Do you get it now?” This is more a Shannon thing than a Keefe thing, but Keefe gets it the worst. 
“‘Lame. I vote for The Unstoppable Team Keefe! Or Team Foster-Keefe if you’re one of those egomaniacs who needs your name in there. I can share some credit.’” Ah, here we start with Keefe’s list of atrocious nicknames for things. It’s one of my least favorite aspects of the way Shannon writes “humor”.
“‘What was up with the whole Amazing Flying Foster routine?’” Completely subjective, but I find Keefe’s nicknaming tendencies really grating.
“‘That’s another day of detention, Mr. Sencen,’ Sir Rosings shouted. ‘And one for you, Miss Foster!’ ‘Ooh, we can be detention buddies again!’” It’s a little thing, but Keefe never feels regret when he gets someone else in trouble. He only lathers it up with more teasing. I’d be so angry if someone got me in trouble and it wasn’t even my fault. It’s just terrible behavior.
“‘I’m not talking about anyone. I’m talking about you. And I know you’re up to something. I can feel it.’ He grabbed her hand, sucking in a slow breath as the crease between his brows relaxed. ‘I can feel your hope. It’s not much—but it’s there. And there has to be a reason for it. Besides—you’re going to need my help. Who knows the Vackers better than me?’” Keefe uses his empathy to force his way into Sophie’s fixing-Alden’s-mind plan. He tries to read her emotions without her permission so that he can use it as justification to get her to let him help. It’s just so icky. He then manipulates Sophie by insisting she needs his help (even though she logically doesn’t). 
“‘It’s a date, Foster!’ Keefe shouted, turning every head in the corridor and making her grit her teeth so hard her jaw hurt. ‘Looking forward to it.’” Keefe stop humiliating Sophie in front of everyone challenge. 
“‘Wow—you really sleep with this thing? I thought Fitz was kidding when he gave it to you when you were recovering.’ Sophie snatched Ella away [ . . . ]” Keefe continues to make fun of Sophie for her stuffed animal tendencies. You know, it’s possible to be funny and make jokes without actively tearing people down. But wait, you may say. Keefe shows some development later because he starts to sleep with his own stuffed animal! Doesn’t that mean he learned and grew? No, I would argue back at you. The issue is not actually that Keefe made fun of Sophie’s stuffed animal in particular. The issue is that most of Keefe's jokes actively revolve around making fun of someone and putting them down. And that never changes, even later in the series. This is simply one example.
[cut because character limit]
“‘This isn’t nearly as exciting as I thought it would be,’ Keefe complained as Sophie finished explaining her theory about removing Alden’s guilt and how she was trying to track down her own journal. ‘When do we get to, like, fly into the line of fire or sneak away to the Forbidden Cities?’” Another thing I don’t like about Keefe: he’s so whiny. For no reason. Shannon loves to use his whininess to make him ““““““relatable””””””. And he never develops! Ever! Most of the things I list about Keefe here would be fine if Shannon acknowledged them as character flaws and let Keefe develop. But he never does.
“He reached out and brushed Grady’s arm. ‘Whoa—that is some serious tension radiating off of you. Is it that bad?’” Again, here we see an example of Keefe breaching boundaries and using his ability to get people to tell him things they aren’t comfortable telling him. If Keefe was a Telepath, this would be breaking the law. In case you care. 
“‘Is that a diary?’ Keefe asked as Sandor handed her the sparkly journal. He tried to snatch it, but Sophie yanked it away just in time.” I- I don't even have the words to describe how atrocious this behavior is. Keefe just casually tried to invade Sophie’s privacy. For a joke. And imagine if she had written something embarrassing in there and he’d managed to grab it from her. He’d never stop embarrassing her over it, never stop spilling its contents to other people casually in the name of “humor”. And he’d treat it like a joke, instead of a very serious breach of personal boundaries.
“‘Should’ve figured it would have something to do with a boy.’ ‘I was five, Keefe.’ ‘What, and cute boys didn’t exist when you were five? Well, it’s true you hadn’t met me yet, but . . . ’” Ah, Keefe’s trademark cringy-ass flirtation starts. For the record, I think this might be my least favorite aspect of Keefe’s “humor”. I don’t tend to like characters that go on about how good-looking they are. I just find it so incredibly cringy and tone-deaf. But that’s just my opinion.
“‘Now we know they still have the pages. So we just have to figure out a way to steal them back.’” Ah yes, Keefe’s straight-up stupidity, which isn't quite my least favorite quality of his, but is the most frustrating. He’s really, really stupid if he thinks he can just. Track down the Black Swan and steal the pages back from the infinite amount of places they could be. 
“‘Hey, Captain Mood Swing,’ Keefe said, gently grabbing her arm.” Keefe’s cringy sense of nicknaming humor continues. 
Also Keefe’s nickname for Silveny will never not be the most cringeworthy thing in the entire series. His nickname humor is already horrible enough, but combine it with his tendency to crack potty jokes like he’s six? Simply atrocious.
“‘It’s just a theory right now—I need to think it through.’ ‘You mean we,” Keefe said, hooking his arm through hers. “We need to think it through. Team Foster-Keefe!’” Keefe stop forcing yourself into Sophie’s personal business challenge.
[cut because character limit]
“‘So, let me get this straight,’ Keefe said when Sophie was done explaining the new plan. ‘We don’t know where we’re going, or how long it’s going to take us to get there, and we’re flying to meet the Black Swan—who may or may not be evil murderers—and this whole thing could be a trap?’ [ . . . ] ‘Awesome! ’Bout time this project got a bit more exciting.’” Keefe is so fucking tone-deaf. He learns they need to go meet the Black Swan (who at that point they thought were maybe-murderers) to heal Sophie and that’s what he says? Wow. Real upstanding guy. It really just shows how he thinks this whole thing is a game, not a serious issue. (Yes, I know he later says that his jokes are a mask and that he does care and see the seriousness in an issue, however that doesn’t change the fact that his jokes are just straight-up insensitive to the people around him.) Also, remember what I said about Shannon using Keefe as narration? She does it like this, too, where she’ll recap a lot of what she just wrote using Keefe as a mouthpiece, just to make sure the audience really gets it. It’s a sign of insecure writing. But it’s not boring recap exposition, because a funny character says it! Right, guys?
“‘Of course I told them. Sheesh—you act like I’m some sort of troublemaker.’ He winked.” Take a shot everytime Keefe winks. You won’t even make it through half the series. It highlights another issue I have with Keefe. He thinks he’s so cool. With the swagger and the winking and the hair and the clothes, he tries way too hard to be ““““““cool””””””. And for me it just makes him extra cringy. But that’s completely subjective. Yes, I am aware it is a mask. It does not make it any less cringy. It just doesn't feel like something anyone would ever do in real life. I don't know how to explain that it just feels unrealistically fake. It’s just so . . . try-hard-y to me. 
“‘No—for the millionth time. You’ll know when we are because we’ll stop flying.’ ‘Okay, that’s how I’ll know when we’re there. But how are you going to know?’” Another example of Keefe being intentionally annoying, and another example of Keefe being so stupid you have to wonder if his abusive parents dropped him on his head as a child. Two for one!
Keefe continues to be stupid and annoying on purpose for a few more lines of dialogue during this scene, but it’s too much and I don’t want to copy it all. I’ve already put a sample in the previous bullet. 
Have to say, I love how annoyed Sophie is by Keefe in Exile. Everytime she is forced to involve him, she expresses visible annoyance. Wish that carried through the entire series.
“But then he leaned closer—close enough that she could feel his breath on her cheek as he said, ‘I know I crack a lot of jokes, Sophie, but . . . that’s just because it’s easier, you know? It’s how I deal. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I do. A lot.’” Ah, the famous boy-behind-the-jokes confession scene. First of all, why does he need to lean closer and get all up in Sophie’s personal space??? Especially since they are already really close together. That is so ugh. Secondly, just because he uses humor as a coping mechanism, doesn’t mean his jokes have to be rude, annoying, embarrassing, cringy, over-the-top, cracked at the wrong times, and just plain stupid. It’s possible to have a sense of humor that’s, get this, actually funny and cheers people up instead of tearing them down.
[cut because character limit]
“‘You don’t have to be. I meant what I told Sandor. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.’” How chivalrous. And how exactly is he going to do that? By being stupid at the kidnappers? Just the fact that Keefe thinks that he can protect Sophie shows how unprepared he is. But seriously, Keefe has only demonstrated stupidity up until this point. I still don’t understand how Grady thought it was a good idea to involve him. He’s just as vulnerable as Sophie, so that’s just a second person that’ll get hurt if something goes wrong. He’s not a bodyguard and he doesn’t have any training or special experience that would qualify him to protect Sophie. He’s just some guy. I think the logic was “Sophie’ll have a second person to protect her in case of an emergency”, but that makes no sense, because Keefe can’t bring anything to the table in terms of protection for Sophie. But how else are we going to kickstart a fan-favorite ship?
“He leaned back, taking his warmth with him. But at least she felt like she could breathe again.” Yep, Sophie literally felt like she couldn’t breathe because Keefe was all up in her personal space.
Everblaze
“‘Want me to push you?’ Keefe offered, laughing as Sophie jerked away from him ‘Come on, it’ll be fun—for me at least.’” (4) I have a physical copy of Everblaze, so I can list page numbers, and boy it didn’t take long for Keefe’s jerkish tendencies to show. He literally admits to Sophie that he’d find it fun to watch her be uncomfortable, which not only makes him completely selfish, but also somewhat cruel.
“But he shot Sophie a look that seemed to say, You will tell me everything later [ . . . ]” (63) Again, an example of Keefe insisting he should be a part of Sophie’s personal business. Why does he constantly want to know every single thing she knows? It’s none of his business.
“‘Dude, what is up with them not rhyming?’” (113) Shannon also does this thing where she’ll make Keefe use the same joke over and over and over. This is only the second time Keefe has made this joke, but it happens again and again and again. And even though the first time was pretty funny, the overuse kills the joke. 
“‘Write this down, Gigantor: You may not want to meet, but we definitely do. Name a time and a place or we’ll pelt you with sparkly poo.’” (114) I really wish Shannon would stop with the potty humor. Keefe is fourteen, not six. It makes him look even more annoying and childish. 
“‘That’s why you keep me around. Well, that and my stunning good looks.’” (115) More of Keefe’s trademark cringy and tone deaf flirtation. Nobody talks like this in real life, Shannon, because they would be laughed at.
“‘But I’m coming over after school and you’ll tell me whatever you’re hiding.’” (121) It is so annoying how Keefe thinks he’s entitled to Sophie’s secrets. He doesn’t ask her. Just forces his way in, just like he forced his way into everything else. It’s textbook manipulation. And she does. Not because she trusts him. But because he forces his way into everything. 
“‘You let Keefe help.’ ‘Not by choice.’” (124) Sophie literally admits that she didn’t want Keefe to help her. But in typical Keefe fashion, he forces his way into everything, because he’s nosy and rude and can’t keep himself in line. I’ve said this already and I’ll probably say it again, but I wouldn’t mind this if Shannon treated it like a real character flaw instead of just a quirky little trait. I would be okay with it if Keefe realized what he was doing was wrong and apologized and made an effort to get better. But he never does. 
“‘This is just a normal day for you, isn’t it?’ Keefe asked . . . ‘Go to school find out you’re covered in a dangerous substance, melt off a few layers of skin, and then hail your besty Councillor, tell him you’re ditching study hall to save the world, and he says “Cool, I’ll come with you!”’” (149) Leaving aside the objectively incorrect spelling of bestie, here's another example of Shannon using Keefe to recap and narrate at the audience. It’s like she doesn’t trust us to understand the story ourselves. You don’t need to pat yourself on the back by summarizing what just happened, Shannon. It doesn’t make it any less exposition-y if the character info-dumping stuff we already know at us is ““““““funny””””””.
“Keefe replaced it immediately. ‘I could do this all day.’ [ . . . ] Then he snatched the rest of Sophie’s effluxers and raced away, stabbing them in random places all over the grassy field.” (179) Keefe understands why guarding the school from ogres is so important, and yet he treats it like a joke. I’ve seen people say that Keefe can be serious when he knows something is important, but here he is, abusing a serious security protocol for cheap laughs and frustrating Sophie. He tries his very hardest to be annoying and honestly if I were Sophie, I’d just walk away and let him do his own thing. He can’t be serious, and he’s incapable of thinking about anything except playtime for more than a few seconds at a time. 
[cut because character limit]
“Okay, I’ve changed my mind,’ Keefe said . . . ‘Let’s plant this somewhere she’ll trigger it.’” (181) Keefe gets Sophie in trouble and once again shows no remorse. I don’t understand why Sophie hangs around him when she doesn’t need him in any capacity (at this point) and all he does is annoy, embarrass, and get her in trouble. If you want to get in trouble, that’s your prerogative. But dragging others unwillingly into your plan is one of the most selfish, egregious acts you can do.
“‘Has he ever even had detention?’ ‘Only when he listens to me. [ . . . ]’” (183) Yet another example of Keefe dragging someone down with him, this time being Fitz.
“‘Clearly it’s not a good idea to get you angry. Uh-oh, should I be afraid?’” (221) Keefe continues to be annoying on purpose.
“‘Oh—maybe we could be the Keefitzter!’” (343) When will Shannon stop torturing me with this painful nickname humor?
“‘That doesn’t really have the same ring,’ Keefe told her [ . . . ]” (344) This is like the third time he’s made this joke. Repeating a joke over and over doesn’t make it funnier; it’s quite the opposite, actually. 
“‘Nah, I’ll save it for my own wedding. Make my bride feel even luckier.’ He winked.” (396) I think the worst part is he really thinks he’s being smooth there. Honestly, it just comes off as needy.
“‘ . . . keep in mind that Miss Foster is, and always will be, my first priority.’ ‘Mine too,’ Keefe said [ . . . ]” (408) Another thing that strikes me as incredibly weird with Keefe is this strange obsession he has with Sophie. It becomes incredibly apparent in later books, but it definitely starts here. Sophie should really just be another random friend he’s made at Foxfire, but he’s willing to go to so much trouble for her, but why? There’s not a particular reason. Sophie didn’t do anything that meant he owed her and therefore had to help her and they didn’t have a particularly strong bond at all before he forced his way into her reverse-Alden’s-guilt plan. It’s understandable now that they’re closer friends, but the fact that he was just ready to fly across the ocean for a somewhat random girl is just. Very strange. Keefe is a massive case of obsessed-with-the-love-interest syndrome that plagues YA novels everywhere you go. And he doesn’t even have a particularly good reason.
“‘Cute and smart. No wonder Dex gave you a ring.’” (410) Keefe continues to make unfunny jokes that embarrass Sophie for his own amusement. 
“Plotting and scheming really were Keefe’s forte.” (431) We’ve been told this, but it’s simply not true. Keefe hasn’t come up with a single good plan up until this point, so I don’t know what Sophie’s talking about. Telling isn’t showing, Shannon. Show us a single good plan that Keefe has come up with. You can’t just tell us that and expect us to believe it because “Oh, it’s Keefe!!!”
“‘Admit it, Foster—you’ve been checking out the Keefster. And maybe even . . . the keester.’ [ . . . ] ‘[ . . . ] Unless you’d rather I go first so you can admire the view.’” (440) I think this might be Keefe’s cringiest joke yet. It’s a perfect combination of Keefe humor: annoying, embarrassing, tone-deaf, a dash of potty humor, all topped off with a finale of horrific flirtation. 
Neverseen
“‘I totally could’ve pulled that off. But then again, I’m Batman, so’—he draped an arm over Sophie’s shoulders—‘I could be your hero any day.’” (9) Keefe's horrible flirting is back. And he very obviously sees himself as Sophie’s “hero”, ready to save the day for her, as if she’s completely helpless. (I know it seems like this is just a joke at the moment, but there are several moments later on down the line that prove this point. I just wanted to put this quote here so I don’t miss it later.) That’s another thing I hate about Keefe. He’s always sacrificing a good plan for his own, because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else and wants to be the hero. (Again, there are several moments later that showcase this, we’ll get there.)
“Keefe grabbed Fitz’s wrist and pressed his fingers against the exposed skin. ‘Hate to break it to you, but I can tell you’re hiding something.’” (26) Another example of Keefe breaching personal boundaries and using his empathy to extort secrets out of people to get him to tell things they wouldn’t ordinarily tell him. This happens a lot starting in this book, and yes, I am going to point them all out. By the way, what Fitz was hiding was not at all important to their mission. It’s a secret of Sophie’s that Fitz accidentally saw and was forced to tell because of Keefe. And Keefe tries to make fun of Sophie for it, but is cut off.
“‘[ . . . ] and tell the Black Swan to knock it off with the lame, non-rhyming riddles.’” (27) Shannon, repeating a joke for the umpteenth time isn’t going to make it funnier. And Keefe gets this the worst.
“‘You know he’s going to keep pushing until he gets what he wants, right?’” (31) That quote is said about Keefe, for context. And yes, I do know that. It’s one of Keefe’s most annoying qualities. But what I want to focus on is the fact that Shannon herself acknowledges that. It’s not like she isn’t aware. She just doesn’t want to give Keefe any development, instead treating it like a quirky little habit. 
“‘Uh, you guys are totally ignoring the much more important question,’ Keefe interrupted [ . . . ] ‘Am I the only one who’s noticed that dude is naked?’” (38) Keefe doesn’t know how to be serious, even when the time calls for it. They were in the middle of a discussion about how the Neverseen could’ve set a fire in the Forbidden Cities, and Keefe just jumps in and completely derails the conversation for a joke. Keefe. Learn the time and the place for this sort of behavior. No, indeed, Keefe cannot be serious, even when the time calls for it.
“‘They’ll have to keep their faces very close together,’ Mr. Forkle noted. ‘Foster and I volunteer!’ Keefe shouted.” (59) Volunteering someone for a very uncomfortable experience without their permission, ah yes, my favorite. And yes, Dex does it too, and so do Fitz and Mr. Forkle. I’m not exempting any of them from the blame. I’m just saying that this was something Keefe unironically said (and he said it first, too).
“He leaped from his pleisosaur to hers and prodded Sophie’s eckodon to swim away from the rest of the group.” (63) Shannon forgot to add “without Sophie’s permission and without giving any thought to breached personal boundaries” to the end of that sentence. Seriously, he just leaped onto Sophie’s eckodon with no sign she wanted him to, just because . . . he wanted to? Sophie’s wishes? Never heard of them.
“‘Relax,’ he said, tightening his grip on Sophie’s waist. ‘I won’t let you fall.’” (63) I hate when Keefe does things that Sophie doesn’t need “for Sophie”. It’s his worst quality, by a long shot. He projects what he thinks Sophie wants and then tries to fulfill his projection. Sophie wasn’t even scared she was going to fall. And he randomly starts putting his hands all over her. But I guess when you’re a love interest, that can be seen as ““““““romantic””””””. Keefe stop treating Sophie like a helpless object that he needs to save challenge.
[cut because character limit]
“‘I will never let my mom hurt you again.’” (63) It’s hilarious that he thinks he can control that. Just adds to his mind-numbing stupidity. There’s naivete, then there’s Keefe. Also, this entire scene is the first in a series of scenes that I like to call “forced consolation”, where either Keefe or Sophie will try to reassure the other of some fear they don’t have or are just not in control of. Shannon loves to lather these scenes up with “I promise I won’t hate you”s and “I will do everything I can to protect you”s and all sorts of other things that feel either forced or over-the-top. And at the end of the scene, you feel nothing’s changed or developed. It’s just Sophie and Keefe repeating things at each other and at the end you just feel like it was handled with too heavy a hand and you didn’t really get anywhere. In other words, it’s one of Shannon’s favorite forms of filler.
“‘Thanks,’ he whispered back, so close she could feel his breath on her cheek.” (65) He managed to be even creepier! Wow! This feels incredibly forced, too. I think Shannon assumes she can make any scene “romantic” if she makes Keefe lean too close to Sophie and then makes a mention of Sophie's heartbeat.
“‘We know some of the Neverseen are hiding in Ravagog. Give me a green crystal and I’ll hunt them down.’” (90) Moments that make me want to shove Keefe into a brick wall. Is he stupid??? Like, genuinely. He is so dumb. I cannot stand stupid characters. Maybe that’s me, but oh my gosh. This. This is just. I don’t even have the words to describe how stupid Keefe is. And the worst part is Keefe clearly thinks this is a smart plan. Like, wow. He’s so arrogant he genuinely thinks he’s the savior they all need. Not a stupid, reckless boy with no experience or training who’s going to get himself killed. Keefe. What are you on.
“‘Why is everyone assuming I’m going to get caught?’ Keefe asked. ‘You guys are clearly forgetting how awesome I am!’” (91) Because you will. Hundred percent guarantee. He knows nothing about ogres and their technology, nothing about sneaking into places with a large amount of security, he probably doesn’t even know what a Markchain is and why he’ll be found out because of not having it. The English language doesn’t have the words necessary to describe how dumb Keefe is. And he doesn’t even realize it. He’s just so convinced he’s better than anyone else and that other people haven’t created anything strong enough to hold the all-knowing Keefe Sencen. But stupid characters that genuinely think they’re amazing is a personal pet peeve of mine. 
“Fitz said something else too, but it was drowned out by the plethora of gagging sounds coming from Dex and Keefe.” (96) I don’t like Dex either, but that’s not what this is about, so we’re gonna leave that alone for now. Anyway, Keefe and Dex are both incredibly immature, acting like six-year-olds as opposed to thirteen and fourteen. And it’s rude. It’s not a good quality. They clearly do it on purpose to be annoying, so. Tearing down people because you can’t keep your nose out of their business is just not good behavior. Again, I’d be fine if Keefe showed some development. But as far as I know, he never apologizes for his rude behavior at all. (I believe Dex does, though, so Shannon clearly knows this is a possibility.)
“‘In fact, after I swear fealty I should have you all call me Emo.’” (110) I don’t think you know what emo means, Keefe. Also, in my humble opinion, it makes no sense that elves have a concept of being emo. My guess is this is Shannon’s attempt to make Keefe seem more like Tam. But more on that later.
“‘You’ll be Sophitz! Or Fitzphie!’” (110) I hate it when authors put ship names in their stories. It’s so cringy and almost feels like the author is trying to pat themselves on the back for acknowledging a certain ship in the series. And of course, it’s an undeniable aspect of Keefe’s “humor”. I can’t just not address it. 
“‘We can be Keefex!’” (111) Another instance of putting ship names into the series, although I doubt Shannon meant it that way.
[cut because character limit]
“‘Yeah, Fitz can pull off anything.’ Sophie blushed as she considered the implication of her words. Keefe groaned. ‘I knew we should’ve gone with the balding elixir. Next time!’” (123) To be fair, the argument I’m about to make is very thin, and I acknowledge that, so feel free to disregard it. But notice how Keefe immediately suggests a balding elixir right after Sophie complimented Fitz’s looks. It’s almost like he’s jealous of Fitz, which is not a bad thing, necessarily. Jealousy is a very natural thing to feel. But so many people try to make arguments that Fitz was cruel and jealous toward Keefe later on down the line, so I thought I’d point out an example where (in my opinion) Keefe is being jealous.
“‘And don’t think I was going to allow a Sophex meeting to happen.’” (135) More cringy ship name “humor”. 
“‘Anyone else getting tired of the Black Swan bossing us around?’” (142) God, Keefe’s whininess is so annoying in this book. Yes, the Black Swan are being annoying. But he should’ve dropped it after the first few times that he complained. Complaining isn’t going to fix anything and only makes him look annoying. 
“‘Is it okay if I enter your mind?’ Fitz asked. ‘Dude, do you realize how creepy that sounds?’ Keefe interrupted. ‘It’s less creepy than reading her feelings all the time without telling her,’ Fitz argued. ‘Hey, it’s not like I try to do that! You’re just mad that Foster can’t hide things from me.’” (144) Keefe gets bored, so he interrupts Sophie and Fitz’s cognate training for no reason. You know, because he’s incapable of keeping his nose out of others’ business for two seconds. And not only that, he has the audacity to say he doesn’t try to read Sophie’s emotions. Sure, he’s not doing it all the time, every time, but he does it when he feels she’s hiding something. I’ve already pointed out several instances of this, and there are many more to come. Instead of letting her keep her secrets and tell him on her own time, you know, out of trust, he uses his empathy to force it out of her, or pressure her to talk when she’s not ready (which by the way, is a textbook sign of a toxic relationship). He does this to people besides Sophie, as well. So yes, it is creepy. Way more creepy and toxic than asking someone for permission, by the way. So not only is Keefe straight-up lying about not trying to read Sophie’s emotions, he’s defending it. And the last part where he says that Fitz is jealous because Sophie can hide things from him. He’s missing the point entirely. When someone tells you something willingly, without being extorted or pressured, they trust you. When you have to force them and guilt them into telling you, they don’t trust you. So Fitz has no real reason to be jealous here. Keefe’s just being an asshole.
“‘You make her super nervous,’ Keefe answered for her. Sophie wished the Black Swan had given her laser eyes so she could skewer Keefe with her death glare.” (144) Keefe not only reads Sophie’s emotions without her permission, he also breaches several boundaries by announcing them to the entire room before she’s ready or when she doesn't want to. Why? Because he’s selfish and wants to cause a scene. Why? Because he’s bored. I wish I were kidding. That is seriously the reason. He got bored. He doesn’t care about Sophie’s feelings, or else he would respect them. 
“‘Promise me you won’t hate me,’ he whispered.” (175) We go into another one of Shannon’s famous forced consolation scenes. It makes no sense that Keefe would worry about Sophie hating him. He hasn’t done a single thing to make her hate him. Shannon just realized that she needs something for Sophie to comfort Keefe over, so she pulled something out of her ass. And it makes no sense. 
It makes so little sense that Sophie tried so hard with Keefe, but didn’t do the same with Fitz and Biana in Exile. This forced consolation scene goes on, ending in a “window slumber party”. Another thing I don’t like about Keefe is that it’s very obvious that Shannon favors him. It’s very unsubtle.
[cut because character limit]
“Keefe ruined the moment by grumbling. ‘But you didn’t learn anything! You had the Neverseen right in front of you—you talked to him!’” (197) That’s right, everyone. The sweet, selfless Keefe blamed Sophie for failing to learn anything! Which, by the way, he never apologizes for and never shows remorse for.
“Sophie heard him mumble under his breath, ‘He was right in front of them.’” (198) Keefe continues to blame Sophie for not figuring anything out, as if he could’ve done any better.
“‘My mom was probably part of everything that went down with Jolie.’” (221) No??? No! Jolie died over sixteen years ago. Keefe says this in response to the knowledge that his mom joined the Neverseen shortly after becoming pregnant with him. Keefe is only fourteen, meaning Lady Gisela was not part of what went down with Jolie. This is probably just Shannon forgetting her timeline again, but oh, boy, does it make Keefe look stupid. 
“‘When you or Fitz start dating, there will be crying in the Foxfire halls.’” (236) Another example of Shannon trying way too hard to make him seem “popular” and “cool”. It appears she hasn’t set foot in a school, because that’s not how it actually works.
“‘Everyone loves the bad boys.’” (236) Did. Did Shannon unironically write that??? I’m laughing. Oh my gosh. The sheer tone-deafness and cringe, I can’t.
“‘And Fitz isn’t perfect, by the way.’ ‘He’s close enough.’” (238) No??? Nobody is. And here’s a fine example of another forced consolation scene. Keefe lathers it up with the self-pity and feeling sorry for himself, and later on down the road, Shannon realizes that and her solution to that particular problem is hilariously atrocious. I’m writing this quote in blue so that it’s easy to come back to later, because I’m going to talk about it once we get there. But for now: Keefe’s personal pity party is clearly only there to make the audience pity him. All he’s doing right now is acting weirdly whiny and jealous of Fitz for . . . being “perfect”? Which again, jealousy is natural. But Keefe has never in his life tried to achieve perfection, and has in fact always tried to do the exact opposite, so why would he be jealous of Fitz for being perfect all of a sudden? It’s completely out of character for him. Shannon. You can’t just make Keefe jealous of Fitz for the sake of being jealous of Fitz because you want a forced consolation scene. It has to make sense. Keefe would never be jealous of Fitz for this particular reason. Keefe doesn’t try to be perfect at all. Why would he care that Fitz is “perfect”?
“‘I hate watching it,’ he whispered. ‘Them and Della. It’s all so happy and easy.’” (238) Wanted to include this because this is a good example of how jealousy actually works. Keefe has never had a loving family. So naturally, seeing a loving family would make him jealous. So, again, I will give credit where credit is due: this makes sense for him. 
“‘And you’re also there when your friends need you.’” (238) That is a laughably twisted version of the events of the previous couple of books. Keefe is not “there when his friends need him”, rather he forces his ways into their plans by either pressuring them or using his empathy very dubiously. The way Shannon has tried to twist Keefe into this pitiable, pathetic boy is just. Not working, when you consider what he’s been doing for the past few books. Just straight shot after straight shot of him annoying and embarrassing the crap out of Sophie and extorting things she very clearly doesn’t want to tell him out of her.
“‘[ . . . ] you promised you wouldn’t hate me.’” (239) Obligatory “don’t hate me” plea from this particular forced consolation scene. 
[cut because character limit]
“His aim with the throwing stars was flawless [ . . . ]” (343) How??? He hasn’t had any proper training??? And this goes for the climax of Exile, too, by the way. Shannon once again wants Keefe to be flawless at everything and save Sophie, but she fails to make any of it make sense, because Keefe never trains with throwing stars. This is a textbook sign of a character the author wants to make look “cool” without making it make any sense whatsoever. Why is he good at using throwing stars? Not because he trained! Probably because Shannon just wanted to make him look cool and badass. 
“‘You know what I think when I see things like that?’ ‘I never should’ve agreed to help such a loser—even if he has awesome hair?’” (345) Here’s another forced consolation scene. Why would Keefe think Sophie thought that, when literally a few seconds ago she confirmed she didn’t? I’m not kidding, Sophie literally says “‘You shouldn’t have to carry all that alone’” (345) just a couple of lines right before this line. She clearly doesn’t think Keefe is a loser, but he’s so wrapped up in his self-pity, he’s not listening to her. Shannon’s trying to milk the shit out of this, so she repeats the same thing over and over and over to instill pity for Keefe. And again, she lathers it up and uses too heavy a hand, so it just feels like we’re suffocating in Sophie’s pity for Keefe, not to mention Keefe’s pity for himself. 
“‘I have a major dark side, Sophie.’” (347) Shannon tried to make this all serious and dark, but it just made me laugh. Like, no. He doesn’t. He doesn’t have a dark side whatsoever. He’s stupid, sure, but he’s really soft, too. The fact that Shannon is trying to get us to believe that and trying to put us on edge is laughable. 
“[ . . . ] ‘and it’s a lot creepier when it’s Sophorkle.’” (369) Did. Did Shannon actually write that???? And the editor saw nothing wrong with that??? Oh, boy . . . I don’t even think I have to explain this one. And yes, this is in the name of Keefe cringy-ass “humor”.
“‘If you’re saying we should sneak into ogreville instead of sitting here watching Dex poke a gadget with sticks, I’m in,’ Keefe said [ . . . ] Keefe tried to drag her toward the door.” (405) Why did Shannon make that so literal? She literally made Keefe just be like We’re going to Ravagog right this minute, and then had him drag Sophie to the door. Like, wow. The literalness of the action is just so cartoonish and comical. Like I’m watching an animated cartoon for seven year olds. I don’t know how else to describe this.
“‘I say we storm Ravagog,’ Keefe said. ‘Who’s in?’” (457) Keefe continues to push for a plan that has no merits whatsoever and will just put people in danger. You know, because he couldn’t use his brain if his life depended on it. Also the way he says it implies he sees it as this fun joke-like thing, not something that needs serious thought put into it.
“‘And I thought secret Telepath conversations were the worst. Just so we’re clear,’ he told Tam. ‘I’m the president of the Foster fan club. And we’re closed to new members.’” (474) Keefe acts jealous of Tam for . . . talking to Sophie. What a great guy. What a non-possessive, non-controlling, completely justified thing to do. He acts like Sophie just talking to a guy is a threat to him. And let’s be honest, he says that the Foster Fan Club is “closed to new members” because he’s worried about whether Tam could like Sophie, or vice versa. And the fact that his idea is to try to stop Tam and Sophie from talking to each other is easily the ickiest thing he has done. Like, please go bang your head several times into a wall, Keefe. Hard.
[cut because character limit]
“‘Someone needs to tell Shade Boy the role of Troublemaker with Daddy Issues is already filled.’” (478) I- I don’t even have the words to describe how uncaring this is. Keefe literally sees a struggling teen and his first thought is “My ‘position’ is in danger”. How selfish is that? Tam (and Linh) have struggled way more than Keefe can even comprehend and yet all he can think about is this stupid jealousy he has for Tam. Also, the fact that he literally thinks in stereotypes and archetypes is laughably bad writing on Shannon’s part. Dumbing people down to categories to check off is atrociously terrible writing, and this is another symptom of Shannon using Keefe as a narrator to tell the audience things she doesn’t trust us to pick up on ourselves. She doesn’t trust us to know that Keefe is a troublemaker with daddy issues, so she has to tell us. Just like she doesn’t trust us to realize the same about Tam, so she has to tell us. 
“He’d turned into the boy in the boobrie dude’s tent again—scared and angry and lost.” (479) That doesn’t justify his callousness and horrible behavior towards Tam. Just because you can see why someone is doing something, doesn’t automatically absolve them of blame. Someone should’ve kept Keefe in line by explaining how tone deaf that comment was. But of course, since it’s Keefe, his actions will always be justified by the narrative instead of corrected.
“Keefe laughed. ‘Annnnnnnnd, the Foster panicking begins.’ ‘I’m not panicking,’ Sophie told him [ . . . ] She ignored Keefe’s laughter as she gave Fitz permission to enter her mind.” (496) First of all, counting and typing out all those Ns was a nightmare. Second of all, I think the reason Keefe’s intrusive behavior is accepted is because it’s just so normal. It’s just something you expect to happen with him because it’s Keefe, and treated like a joke. But it shouldn’t happen. Just because Keefe can feel Sophie’s emotions, doesn’t mean he has to tell them to people she’s clearly uncomfortable telling them to. And third of all, he laughs. He laughs because she’s panicking. What an upstanding guy.
“‘Whoa, now everything’s red and ripply,’ Fitz said. ‘Is that because she’s angry?’” (497) Keefe literally annoyed Sophie for his own amusement and fun. You know, as good friends do.
“‘Just tell them to stare into each other’s eyes and they’ll be good.’ ‘None of that, Mr. Sencen.’” (497) I will give credit where credit is due, Shannon did finally hold Keefe to a modicum of accountability. But this is the one time in all his atrocious behavior that he’s been held accountable, and even then, he never says sorry. 
“‘Why didn’t you tell me about this?’ Fitz whispered to her. ‘Dude, you don’t get to ask that,’ Keefe told him.” (505) Fitz can ask whatever the hell he wants. Especially concerning a group that they are all fighting. Telling someone they don’t get to ask why something was hidden from them is so completely out of line. And guess who calls Keefe out on this? Nobody.
“‘Because I seem to remember you having a bummer few weeks and then everything went back to perfect Vacker-land. So where’s my perfect fix?’” (505) Keefe disregards other people’s feelings and problems if he sees them as not as bad as his own. Now, you might be thinking, didn’t Fitz lash out at Sophie during Exile? Why isn’t that bad? Well, that’s not as bad because Fitz realizes what he did was wrong, apologizes for what he did and tries his hardest to improve and develop. You’ll notice we don’t get a similar heartfelt apology from Keefe for this incredibly hurtful and invalidating statement, or anything else he does or says throughout this book.
[cut because character limit]
“She knew Keefe didn’t want to talk to her, but when she saw his lights on she couldn’t walk away.” (507) Another piece of evidence suggesting that Sophie paid way more attention to Keefe and spent way more time making sure he knew she was there for him than she did with Fitz and Biana in a similar situation. Here Keefe is mad at her, not wanting to see her, and she still tries too hard to make him see reason, which is not something she does with anyone else. And that is another thing I hate about Keefe: Shannon shows clear favoritism toward him. He gets let off the hook for things other people don’t. He gets Sophie trying and trying and trying to make him see reason when he’s mad. And later, he gets a plotline all to himself, and takes up so much page time, it squeezes the other characters out. You can already see it in this book. 
“[ . . . ] she could’ve sworn he muttered something about Sophitz.” (510) Keefe is a horrific friend. He tears Sophie and Fitz’s cognate relationship (and friendship) down every chance he gets, and nobody calls him out on his incredibly possessive behavior.
“‘How are you going to get inside the city? And if you do get in—what then? You don’t even know where you’re going.’ ‘I’ll figure it out.’” (560) Keefe is so unbelievably stupid. The justification Shannon gave was that the guilt is making him reckless, but recklessness doesn’t equal stupidity. And when Sophie asks him perfectly valid questions, he says “I’ll figure it out”, meaning he put not a single thought into this. He’s really so arrogant that he thinks he can just walk into Ravagog with no plan and steal the cure. God, he’s so stupid, they should just leave him out of their plans for everyone’s safety. Stupid characters are a particular pet peeve of mine, so if I seem angrier than I should be, that’s why.
“‘Fine. I’ll wait until tomorrow night,’ he said. ‘Then I’m leaving.’” (561) Sophie didn’t even manage to completely dissuade him, she just stalled him. That proves that Sophie can’t save him from himself. Nobody can. And later, Keefe puts so much more than himself at risk. He has Sophie constantly worrying about him, so his actions affect her, too. That’s selfish behavior. And how much does he grow from it? I’m sure you can guess. 
“‘Yeah, this is why I should go by myself,’ Keefe said. The suggestion was met with a resounding ‘No!’ But Sophie knew Keefe wasn’t going to listen. If she didn’t figure something out, he would go alone.” (564) They just talked through all the challenges of their plan, none of which Keefe has a solution to, yet he’s still arrogant enough to believe that he can do it all himself. Stupid characters that think they’re great are the worst kind of character to me. The fact that Keefe genuinely thinks he can sneak past ogres and find the cure is mind boggling. He thinks he’s so great that he won’t get caught, but we know he would’ve. Someone is going to pop out of the ground and say “Well, he’s only fourteen!!!” Yeah, he’s fourteen, but this is straight stupidity, not youthful naivete. And the fact that Sophie specifically thinks to herself that he’ll go if they don’t figure something out just proves how selfish he is. Nobody wants him to go alone. He’s not achieving anything for anyone, and his actions do more harm than good. So, no, his actions are not selfless. More so the opposite than anything. He’s doing something that nobody wants and nobody needs. Except himself, of course. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘Oh good, Bangs Boy decided to join us,’ Keefe grumbled [ . . . ]” (570) Instead of being grateful for extra help that could get them out alive, Keefe continues to take shots at Tam for no reason. No reason other than he’s strangely possessive of Sophie, of course. Also, can I just say that Shannon wrote this rivalry so poorly? It’s not even a rivalry. It’s completely one-sided. And in later books, Shannon tries so hard to convince us that Keefe and Tam don’t like each other and it’s this whole thing and it’s all drama and this and that and the other. But she puts so little effort into describing why they don’t like each other that it falls so flat. Tam doesn’t even dislike Keefe. My guess is that he just (rightfully) sees Keefe as a nuisance. So really, it’s just Keefe that has this pathetic hatred for Tam, while Tam barely even acknowledges Keefe. As he should. But that’s just a guess. To know for sure, Shannon would actually have to focus on characters that aren’t Sophie and Keefe, so. 
“‘How do we know his little Shade tricks are even going to work?’” (572) Valid point, but Keefe is so unnecessarily mean and rude with that comment.
“Keefe snorted. ‘How does it feel to be rejected by dust?’ ‘Pretty good, actually,’ Tam snapped back, ‘since it means I can survive this mission.’” (573) Yeah, get his ass. About time someone called Keefe’s constant whining out. Keefe continues to haggle on Tam’s power, which will no doubt save his life several times, for no other reason than his pathetic hatred for Tam. 
“‘I could be back with the cure while the rest of you guys are still sleeping.’” (575) Words cannot describe how much I want Keefe to try to do just that, so the ogres can lock him in a cell and we never have to see him or his stupidity or arrogance again.
“Dude, you did not just insult the Hair.’” (581) Have some more cringy Keefe humor.
“Sophie couldn’t fight back her sob as Keefe handed Alvar the cache.” (661) We’ve at last arrived at the famous betrayal scene. And this is Keefe’s most selfish, asshole-ish action yet. First of all, it’s not him who was entrusted with the safety of the cache. It was Sophie. Which means that by handing over the cache, he puts her in massive potential danger with the Council, not himself. But that’s typical Keefe behavior. Thinking about how your actions will affect the people around you? Never heard of her. If the Council entrusted the cache to him, then it would be somewhat less selfish, because he’s the one that would then be in trouble with the Council. So he puts Sophie in danger and tosses the world’s most important secrets to a terrorist group without a thought in the direction of how he’s going to get it back. And for what? For the miniscule chance that the Neverseen would trust him and he could learn something important enough to finish this? That’s the thing with Keefe. He’s stupid, but he doesn’t think he is. He takes huge risks where the reward can’t in any scenario measure up to the price. It was a stupid risk. Not in any capacity could anything he learned ever measure up. But of course, Keefe thinks it’s brilliant. Because, you know. He’s stupid. Tell me why anyone trusts this guy again? Oh, and in case you think that Keefe learns or grows from this mistake, just you wait.
“‘I have to do this,’ he said. ‘Please don’t hate me.’” (663) Keefe has no right to ask this of Sophie in this scenario. He’s chosen his path, and that was his choice. He will and should suffer the consequences of that choice. Including all the people who now see him as a traitor. But of course, since this is Keefe, he doesn’t suffer a single consequence, and Sophie never truly hates him, although that would’ve encouraged at least a single iota of development for Keefe’s arc. 
Lodestar
“‘Sorry my note was so hasty. Next time I’ll make sure it rhymes.’” Sorry, no more page numbers, I don’t have a physical copy. I don’t know why Shannon insists on running the rhyming joke into the ground. Repeating the same joke over and over doesn’t make it funnier. 
So the thing about this scene where Keefe breaks into the principal’s office is that he does get held somewhat accountable. Every time he makes a joke and isn’t serious, Sophie calls him out. When he plays dumb and says he didn’t expect Sophie to hate him, she calls him out. He tries to defend his atrocious plan, she shuts him down. But that doesn’t last. 
“And there it was. Keefe’s guilt.” I still don’t understand what Keefe is guilty over. Because Shannon doesn’t bother to make it make sense. No logical person would feel guilty over their parent’s betrayal. Especially not when they didn’t like that parent much to start with. But how else are we going to get our precious forced consolation scenes, if Shannon can’t make up something for Keefe to angst over?
“‘What is the Lodestar Initiative?’ she pressed. ‘And what other lost memories did you recover? You said there were more.’ ‘It doesn’t matter.’ ‘Obviously it does.’” Sophie tries to get solid answers from Keefe and he continues to withhold. These aren’t just any old personal secrets either, they’re secrets that have something to do with the enemy they’re both fighting. By keeping this information away from Sophie, Keefe actively hinders her cause. But of course, he’s so stupid and arrogant and thinks he knows what’s best for Sophie that he’ll never see it that way. He is such a frustrating character and this book is almost the worst portrayal of him. 
“‘There’s always a choice, Keefe.’ ‘Yeah—I’m going to find a way to end this on my terms. That’s my choice.’” Wow, Keefe is such an arrogant idiot. He really just admitted that he was the only person he was going to listen to. Not anyone smarter than him, more experienced than him, hell, not even Sophie, who he’s supposedly doing this for. No, it’s just his way or the highway. Because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. Including their enemies, who have proven time and time again to be at least twenty-two steps ahead. He doesn’t even bring up his plan with the Black Swan. They might’ve taught him or told him something that could help. But no. He does it all himself, but he only cares about his own opinion, and Sophie’s. Oh and by the way, Sophie doesn’t call him out on any of this this time around.
“‘What happens when they notice it’s gone?’ He shrugged.” He literally just admitted he didn’t have a plan. That’s his thing. He’ll do something reckless (like giving Sophie the pendant back) and then not think about the consequences. He is so stupid, it hurts my soul. I cannot fathom how he manages to entertain this delusion that he can beat the Neverseen single-handedly. 
“‘You’d rather keep hurting the people who care about you?’ ‘I’m helping you!’ ‘And hurting us.’” He’s not helping. At all. Helping would be executing a plan that everyone agreed was a good idea. Helping would be brainstorming ideas for a plan with a group, so they can figure out all the pros and cons and go from there. Helping would be being there for the people that need him. But, no. Keefe instead embarks on a selfish quest to end things all by himself so that he can feel good about himself and maybe even so that Sophie will think highly of him. He doesn’t care about anyone else, he just cares about himself. If he did care about other people, he would consult them and consider their advice instead of disregarding it and assuming he’s the smartest person in the room, when in actuality, he’s most likely the stupidest. By a lot.
[cut because character limit]
“‘That’s what I’d been hoping for. But [Fitz] didn’t even raise his voice. He just looked away so I wouldn’t see him crying. So did Biana. Even Dex teared up.’ Seconds ticked by. Maybe minutes. It felt like forever before Keefe whispered, ‘What about you?’ [ . . . ] ‘I also helped you escape,’ Keefe reminded her.” Another thing that is so irritating about Keefe is how he doesn’t care about anyone except Sophie and puts her on this pedestal. He doesn’t care about any of his friends as much as he does Sophie, and he only bothers opening up to her. He doesn’t try to form a bond with anyone else, and he neglects all his other friends for Sophie. In this example, when Sophie tells him how the others reacted, he simply changes the subject back to her, instead of saying something about the others. When Sophie tells him how she reacted, he acts interested again. 
“‘Even if it is, the things you’re doing are real. That cache could destroy everything. And you handed it over like it was no big deal—’ ‘Because it wasn’t! They can’t open it. They’ve had all their Technopaths working on it, and they can’t break through the security.’ ‘And when they finally figure it out?’ ‘I’ll steal it back long before that happens. I can handle this, Sophie.’” No, he can’t. He’s proven that he’s incapable of thinking even an inch into the future, with his response to the monocle pendant situation. There’s no feasible way Keefe could’ve known how incompetent the Neverseen’s Technopaths are at getting into the cache. He’d never even heard of a cache before Neverseen. So it could’ve backfired massively. And how is he going to steal it back? He has no plan. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.
“‘It’s not a test. They . . . sent me here.’ ‘Why would they do that?’ Keefe’s eyes returned to the ceiling. ‘Probably because I suggested it.’” So let me get this straight: Keefe told the Neverseen to send him to Foxfire where all his friends go to school, and he thinks they didn’t find that suspicious at all? I'm laughing. Honestly, that’s hilarious.
“‘Miss Foster understands Mr. Sencen in ways the rest of us simply cannot. [ . . . ] He opened up to her. Leaned on her. Trusted her.’” Yes, because she wouldn’t leave him alone. Which is not a level of effort she put into anyone else’s problems. Think about when Fitz was spiraling over his father in Exile. Or when Fitz got stabbed. She didn’t pay nearly as much attention as she did to Keefe in his times of crisis. Again, Shannon has a massive bias toward Keefe. He’s treated much better than the rest of the supporting cast. But somehow, despite that, he doesn’t get any development at all. And the reason Keefe opened up to Sophie and nobody else is because he only cares about her opinion, and nobody else’s. He pedestalizes her heavily.
[cut because character limit]
“‘Need I remind you that Keefe’s doing the same thing our daughter tried to do?’” Oh, boy. I hate when people use this argument. In short, while Jolie and Keefe had the same plan, their executions couldn’t have been more different. Jolie was reached out to by both sides and the Neverseen had no idea that she was involved with the Black Swan at all. The Neverseen are well aware of Keefe’s involvement with the Black Swan. So, where Jolie just had to get the Neverseen to trust her, Keefe has to convince them that he betrayed his friends, a much harder task. Jolie also had a feasible motive, to get her bad match status erased. Keefe doesn’t have anything even resembling a possible reason for why he’d want to join the Neverseen. So the Neverseen are going to be even more suspicious of him. Jolie trained. She told the Black Swan what she was doing. She planned. Eventually, she got the Black Swan’s approval and she had their help. Keefe, on the other hand, did not do a single modicum of actually valuable training. He didn’t tell anyone, and he didn’t talk his plan through with the group. Nobody thought it was a good idea, and nobody’s helping him. He’s completely on his own. Keefe also has to live with them, which Jolie never did. That’s more opportunities to slip up, and a small difference like that can add up. And I know I’ll sound like a broken record, but Keefe is just. So stupid. He doesn’t think about his actions and their consequences, just barrels right into them. Jolie has proven to be very clever, leaving a list of clues that she knew only a Black Swan member would be able to find. 
“‘Oh good—so the thing That Boy stole is putting all of us in more danger,’ Grady muttered.” For the record, I find Grady to be an incredibly immature guardian, with what and his calling Keefe “That Boy”. But that’s not what I’m here for right now. And he does make a good point right here. Keefe is putting them all in danger, and he doesn’t even know if what he’s doing will have any sort of payout.
“How does Fitz not pee his pants every time you do this—or wait, DOES HE?” This book easily gets it the worst when it comes to Keefe’s humor. The potty humor is at an all-time high, and Keefe is even more cringy and annoying than usual.
“Besides—if she was going to trust Keefe, she had to trust him.” Why??? He didn’t do a single thing to earn her trust. Why should she trust him??? This shouldn’t be about Sophie’s feelings, they’re in the middle of a war, and that’s what should matter. Keefe has compromised a very important piece of intelligence, so she shouldn’t be trusting him at all. “Oh, but he's her friend!” Yes, he’s her friend, but the war is always more important than foolishly placing your trust in the wrong hands because of . . . feelings.  
“[Keefe] Luck had nothing to do with it. I planned it perfectly. [Sophie] That’s exactly the kind of overconfidence that’s going to get you killed. [Keefe] Not necessarily.” He really thinks he didn’t get lucky and that the whole thing was because of his “perfect” planning. But no plan is perfect. That fact that Keefe doesn’t know that is proof as to why he shouldn’t be doing this. A good planner understands that every plan has inherent risks and never, ever gets cocky because something can always go wrong. Keefe’s just not willing to see the risks to his plans. And that makes him dangerous. And so, so stupid.
“Yep—it’s a date. Tell your boyfriends not to be jealous.” Have some more cringy Keefe-style flirtation. 
[cut because character limit]
“[Sophie] Keefoster? [Keefe] Sounds way cooler than Sophitz or Dophie, right? And don’t even get me started on Bangs Boy.” Keefe’s cringy ship name humor is back at it again. I’m pretty sure he uses ship names more than the entire fandom combined. God, Shannon needs to stop using him to pat herself on the back. Keefe once again displays jealousy toward not only Tam, but Fitz and Dex. He subtly tells Sophie that she should be with him, not any of them, which is so utterly out of line that I don’t even have the words to describe how much I want to punch him in the face for his possessiveness. It’s not his right to tell her that. Also, objectively speaking, Keefoster sounds atrocious. It also sounds like “Keefe Foster”, and I’m sure Shannon is patting herself on the back for seeming so subtle. Sokeefe is a much better ship name, but is never actually brought up in the series. If Shannon intends to continue with this atrocious in-story ship-name-dropping, she could at least use a good one.
“[Keefe] [  . . . ] it is kinda nice having someone look out for me. [Sophie] You don’t make it easy. [ . . . ] His floating thoughts made it clear how determined he was to protect her.” Yippee, another forced consolation scene! Sophie and Keefe basically tell each other that they’re out to protect each other. Sophie says Keefe doesn’t make it easy on her, which is true. He takes advantage of her trust, runs into dangerous situations without a care in the direction of how it’ll affect Sophie’s mental state. And Keefe doing this whole thing to protect Sophie . . . no. Just no. He’s already admitted he’s doing this because he’s only willing to do it his way. He wants to do this for a multitude of selfish reasons, one of which is Sophie’s opinion of him and his character, which is not the same as doing something “for Sophie”. He’s doing it for himself. He doesn’t care about Sophie’s opinion on what he should do, or he would’ve listened to her. And the part about how it’s “nice [to have] someone look[ing] out for [Keefe]” is just. I can’t even. Keefe is so whiny. Plenty of people care about and look out for him. The Black Swan, frustrating as they are, Alden and Della, his friends, even Grady and Edaline. But of course the only one he cares about is Sophie. Because he only cares about Sophie’s opinion of him and nobody else’s. 
“You can ignore it all you want, Foster, but sooner or later you’re going to have to solve the triangle. Or should we get real and call it a square?” Fantastic, some more horrible Keefe flirtation! Also my feelings on authors using the term “love square/triangle” in their books is pretty much the same as my feelings about authors using ship names in their books. It’s so pick-me, like Look! I acknowledged the love triangle in my own book! Aren’t I the greatest? Isn’t that so self-aware of me?
“There you go, rocking the whole adorable-when-you’re-angry thing. I think that’s what I’ve missed about you the most.” Keefe infantilizes Sophie by saying she’s cute when she’s angry. She is trying to express her feelings, and all Keefe can do is be all Awwwwww. Isn’t that so cute? She’s angry! How adorable. It’s a form of invalidating someone’s feelings, by treating them like they’re just entertainment or by brushing them off like that. It’s some of the most manipulative behavior out there. It also saves Keefe from having to actually take Sophie’s feelings into account. His infantilization of her also shows up in his incessant need to protect her. It’s icky and gross, and authors should stop encouraging this behavior.
“Yes, I will call you Lady Lectures-a-Lot every time you transmit to me.” Have another example of Keefe’s cringy-ass nickname humor. 
“[Sophie] And can you focus for one second? [Keefe] I suppose I can try. . . . ” Keefe continues to try to frustrate and annoy Sophie on purpose. You know, for his own entertainment. As good friends do.
[cut because character limit]
“‘We also found my favorite bramble jersey,’ Fitz added. ‘I knew he stole it.’” Because stealing your best friend’s personal possessions and never giving them back is a completely normal thing to do. 
"But she needed to see Wylie’s memories for herself and make sure Keefe wasn’t there.” Here’s an example of Keefe’s decisions impacting Sophie. Her mental health has been on a decline the entire time she was at Dex’s; all she thinks about is whether Keefe will be involved and whether he’ll be able to trick the Neverseen and how he’ll get out of this one. All she does is worry, worry, worry. And it’s all on Keefe. He didn’t take Sophie’s advice into account when he made his decision (which he would’ve done if he truly cared about her) and it’s affecting Sophie.
“‘I know you’re going to get mad at me for saying this. But before we keep trusting him, we need to find out what he knows—and I don’t just mean the little bits he tells you during your nightly flirt sessions.’ ‘That’s not what they are,’ Sophie snapped. ‘Maybe not for you. But I doubt the guy who calls himself the president of the Foster Fan Club is going to have a bunch of private convos with you and not use that chance to try to keep winning you over.’” Exactly. Thank you, Tam. Finally, someone in the story who gets it.
“‘Keefe—we’re serious,’ Sophie said. ‘Oh, I know. Fitz is giving me his “I’m so serious” scowl. And you’re hitting me with a whole mess of emotions.’” Can’t believe I have to put up with Keefe again after all this page time without him. And does he know that? Does he really? Because if he knew, he would be serious. But Keefe is incapable of acting serious, even when the time calls for it. All he can do is joke. 
“‘We need to make sure you weren’t involved.’ Keefe rolled his eyes. ‘Would I be here if I was?’” Yes??? He could do all kinds of things. And Fitz was perfectly valid when he said that they needed to make sure Keefe wasn’t involved. Keefe is currently working with the enemy. It’s as simple as that. It’s not unreasonable to want to know if he was involved with one of their plans. On the other hand, it is unreasonable for Keefe to ask them to put all their trust and faith in him when he’s working with their enemies. He needs to stop demanding everyone change to accommodate him, and accept the consequences of his actions. 
“‘I would never be in your position,’ Fitz argued. ‘Yeah, you’re better at taking the easy way.’” No, he’s better at taking the smart, unselfish way. He’s better at not throwing everyone’s faith and trust in him down the drain because he wants to be the hero. 
“‘They have a network that stretches way farther than you could ever imagine. I’ve only seen a tiny piece of it, and it’s seriously terrifying. I can’t fight it without making some hard calls!’” By Keefe’s own admission, the Neverseen’s organization skills, plans, and goals are “seriously terrifying”. And yet, he thinks he alone can defeat them by working from the inside out. He also uses the word “I”, like he thinks he’s the only one. A Freudian slip if I’ve ever seen one. No, Keefe, you are not the only one fighting the Neverseen. 
“Uh, hello—you have me. I know I got a few details wrong yesterday [ . . . ]” Keefe says he got “a few details wrong” as if those few details didn't result in someone getting tortured. He’s incredibly incompetent, but trying to hide it. He’s got it flipped, actually. He got the plan as a whole wrong, and only got a few details correct. He didn’t get any actually useful information, and still thinks they should rely on him despite the fact that he’s proven he has nothing useful to offer. Because he’s stupid and arrogantly wants to believe that his way is the best way.
“‘Dude, are you blushing?” Fitz asked. ‘Only because I can feel what Foster’s feeling,’ Keefe snapped back. Sophie rolled her eyes. ‘I’m not feeling anything.’” Nothing particularly wrong with this, just this exchange makes me cringe every time. But that’s subjective.
[cut because character limit]
“[Sophie] You get why we had to make sure, right? [Keefe] It’s still not awesome knowing you guys sat around talking about how you don’t trust me. [Sophie] You don’t make it easy.” They can’t trust him. This is bigger than Keefe’s pathetic boo-hoo-my-friends-don’t-trust-me. They would if they could. He ran off and joined the enemy and they’re in the middle of a war. They have to think with logic, not emotion, and logic always says that anyone working with the enemy can’t be trusted and must be treated as such. It’s not a personal attack on Keefe. But Keefe will always see it that way.
“I can’t worry about that, Foster. I can’t think about what-ifs or maybes. I can only take it one day at a time—one assignment at a time—and fight my way through.” Did- Did Keefe just admit he doesn’t plan ahead? And try to spin it so it looks like a good thing? This is the guy they’re supposed to be trusting??? This is the guy that thinks he’s smarter than the Neverseen, who, by his own admission, have networks that stretch farther than the mind can comprehend? Serious???
“And ten minutes ago you thought I was Wylie’s fourth kidnapper. Remind me to thank Bangs Boy for that the next time I see him. And the Fitzster.” Thank them for making a logical decision? During a war? Yes, you should. 
“[Keefe] Aw, come on, Foster. I’m the cute guy who chooses to save the kids, remember? How can you resist me? [Sophie] Who said anything about cute? [Keefe] It totally goes without saying. Don’t even try to deny it.” Keefe’s flirtation is back and cringier than ever!
“[Keefe] And in the meantime, maybe I need to lose this cloak and see what happens. . . . [Sophie] Bad idea—especially after you took such a risk to meet with us today. [Keefe] There you go again with your logic. It’s really cramping my style.” First of all, why does Sophie need to tell him that losing the cloak is such a bad idea when Keefe himself literally said a few pages ago that it was a bad idea? Is he really that drawn to ideas that seem stupid? Is he really so arrogant that he thinks he can get away with that a second time? And secondly, here’s another example of Shannon using the same joke again and again.
“Ugh. I guess you do need to see that memory, don’t you?” This isn’t the best quote (said by Keefe, for context) to represent what I’m about to say, but oh, well. I can’t copy this entire scene down because this goes on for a while, but Keefe literally stalls on his end of the bargain he makes with Sophie for quite a long time. He considered not even holding up his end, even though Sophie had already held up hers. He only relents when he realizes Sophie needs to see the memory. Which is not good. It shows that he can’t be trusted to hold up his side of a deal unless he decides he needs to. 
“Keefe turned away, watching the waves crash onto the beach. ‘I don’t want you feeling sorry for me.’ ‘I can’t help it. But it’s not pity. It’s . . . I don’t know what the word for it is. I’m too conflicted.’” So, remember that quote I wrote in blue? We’re circling back to it. I said that Keefe is constantly feeling sorry for himself and that the scene just drowns in his self-pity. Shannon then realizes that this isn’t really a good thing necessarily, and her solution is just to have Keefe say that he doesn’t want Sophie feeling sorry for him. This is a sentiment that continues through the story, where Keefe claims he hates people pitying him. But that’s just Shannon telling us that. What she shows us is a completely different story, and that reveals that Keefe does nothing but wallow in his own self-pity, usually during his forced consolation scenes. It doesn’t matter that Keefe apparently doesn’t want anyone to pity him, because Shannon spends so much time trying to convince you to pity him that the whole thing falls flat. There are several more instances of this, but for now I’ll just write this in blue as well, because these two quotes are connected in one larger point I’m trying to make. 
[cut because character limit]
“[Keefe] Wow. That’s just . . . He burst into a fit of snorty giggles. [Sophie] I’m glad you find this so amusing. [Keefe] You don’t? Don’t tell me you actually believe him.” This isn’t about whether or not something sounds strange or funny or ridiculous. It’s about whether or not it’s plausible. At this point in time, it was very plausible that Keefe was created as a counter to Project Moonlark, even though he’s older than Sophie. So they were treating it like a real possibility. But Keefe laughs at it, because it sounds stupid to him. He doesn’t even consider it. Just immediately discards the possibility. Which isn’t a good thing. It’s a very close-minded attitude to have. Which is not good in the middle of a war.
“‘They know I’m here,’ Keefe told her. ‘There’s an ogre enzyme that stinks like the entire world is rotting, and I may have accidentally knocked a vial of it into the laundry basin while I was washing Fintan’s favorite cloaks. It can only be removed with selkie skin, so they sent me to get what I need to clean up my mess.’” I’m laughing so hard. Collecting selkie skin probably isn’t going to take more than a few minutes, and they’ve been talking a long time, so the Neverseen are definitely going to be suspicious of him. Honestly, this plan is even dumber than I remember.
“‘And I used those five seconds to drop off the bead before I headed here. It was perfect.’” Every time Keefe describes a stupid part of his plan and then refers to his plan as “perfect”, I take psychic damage. Smart people know that no plan is ever perfect. So the fact that Keefe thinks his plan is shows why he isn’t ready to be a double agent.
“‘Woo-hoo for bonus Keefoster time! Try not to get jealous, Fitzy. She still likes you better than me—but someday I will wear her down. I’m sneaky like that.’” Was- Was that a real line??? That Shannon actually wrote??? And then didn’t immediately erase? Keefe is such a jerk. This line proves he just sees Sophie as the rope in the tug-of-war he’s playing with Fitz. He doesn’t care about her. He just wants to “wear her down”, as if a real person with real emotions is something he can just mess around with until he gets what he wants.
“You’re so cute when you worry, he told her.” More classic Keefe infantilization. He once again invalidates Sophie’s feelings by dumbing them down and acting like they’re this cute, quirky, inconsequential thing.
“Fine. Forgive me for trying to have a little fun after yesterday’s drama.” Did you know. That it’s possible. To have fun. Without infantilizing others? More of Keefe’s jokes being mean/rude/generally atrocious behavior.
“[Keefe] She puts Bangs Boy to shame—and she doesn’t have stupid hair. [Sophie] I thought she always hid under her cloak. [Keefe] She does. But as the crowned king of good-hair land, I can tell when I’m talking to one of my rightful subjects.” Keefe’s jokes about his hair are so painfully unfunny and come off as cocky when Shannon oversteps. Which she does. A lot. We get it, he styles his hair to look a certain way because he’s such a wannabe bad boy. Now can we talk about anything else?
“But after everyone went to sleep, I tore open the seam in my cloak and found another black disk right where you said it would be.” He . . . tore the disk out of the cloak. When they have no idea what it does. And they know the Neverseen put it there for a reason. And he’s trying to be careful. He just tore it out??? How’s he going to put it back in and make everything seem normal again??? Is he really that dumb?
“Actually, I’m pretty sure this is good enough news that you’re going to want to kiss me—and I’m happy to accept an IOU, by the way.” Ah, Keefe, your humor never fails to make me cringe.
“[Keefe] ‘Ode to Keefe Sencen—that brave, lovable nut. He may not have teal eyes, but he has a really cute—’ [Sophie] KEEFE!” Keefe’s favorite pastime of annoying Sophie rears its ugly head once more. Also, will he stop comparing himself to Fitz for two seconds?
[cut because character limit]
“[Keefe] And brace yourself because I’m about to blow your mind. Are you ready for it? [Sophie] I’ve been ready for the last five minutes. [Keefe] You think you’re ready. But there’s no way you possibly can be. [Sophie] JUST TELL ME.” More of Keefe annoying Sophie just for the heck of it. I honestly don’t understand why she’d constantly want to be around someone who’s so annoying, it makes no sense.
“Just like I haven’t gotten any more info about the ogres’ test, or King Dimitar’s meeting with Fintan, or Fintan’s cache, or any of the things I can’t get anyone to talk about [ . . . ]” I don’t understand how Keefe is so stupid that he can see all this evidence right in front of him, even admit it to Sophie, and still think his plan to join the Neverseen was a good one. I- He’s just so stupid. He just ignores every. Single. Red. Flag. Just because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. You cannot trust someone this tone-deaf. You just can’t. I don’t know why the narrative keeps pushing the idea that Keefe just needs Sophie’s trust and he’ll be fine. Can’t he understand that Sophie just cannot trust him? That it’s just not possible?
“[Keefe] I did warn you. I just didn’t know the specifics. [Sophie] I know. But that’s the thing neither of us have wanted to admit. If you can’t give the specifics, everything you’re doing is worthless.” How stupid do you have to be to have to have that spelled out for you? You need to give specific warnings or they’re worthless. But Keefe needs to believe what he’s doing is worth something. How else will he keep his head inflated?
“He thought she didn’t have a plan, and that everything she’d said was just an angry rant.” Wow. Just wow. Keefe doesn’t trust Sophie, nor does he listen to Sophie. He only listens to himself. Sophie just admitted that to herself. By not listening to her and taking her advice to heart, he invalidates her feelings and her plans for his own. Now, why is Sophie’s plan better than Keefe’s, logically speaking? Because Sophie has a specific idea of what she’s going to do now. Keefe doesn’t. And he doesn’t listen to her or take anything she says into consideration. If he genuinely believes he’s doing this “for Sophie”, he’s seriously delusional. 
“Is this going to be another one of those nights where you spend the whole time yelling at me to come home? Keefe asked, making her sit up straighter as his thoughts filled her head. Because as much as I love it when you get all feisty on me, now’s really not a good time.” God, Keefe is so subtly invalidating. He treats Sophie like she’s just his personal worry machine, not a person with valid concerns and ideas. The flippant way he talks about her worry for him makes me so mad. He takes her worry for granted and throws it back in her face, without a care for how it would affect her mental health. He brushes her off and invalidates her because he thinks he’s so much smarter than everyone else. Not to mention he calls her worry “feisty” and further infantilizes her feelings and ideas. 
“‘Dude, save your daddy issues for another time,’ Tam ordered. ‘Fintan doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t trust you. And if you go back to him, he’ll destroy you.’ Keefe’s eye roll was epic. ‘Don’t you need to go fix your bangs or something?’” In case you need more proof that Keefe is the stupidest, most pathetic idiot ever. First of all, Tam brings up a valid point. And Keefe’s response is to make a personal attack. You know, because he’s stupid and has nothing actually good to say in response. He’s completely pathetic, with his stupid rivalry with Tam clouding all his judgment. He treats Tam’s suggestion like it’s stupid because . . . Tam is the one who said it. He can’t even dignify Tam with a proper counterargument. He is so stupid, I can’t stand it. He doesn’t know when to stop joking around or when to stop taking shots at people. He’s straight-up mean, and this isn’t even a time to be joking. This is a serious situation, and all Keefe can think about is this pathetic animosity he has toward Tam. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘Please don’t do this,’ she begged. ‘If you leave here with that crystal, you’ll trap us—and you’ll compromise Alluveterre.’ ‘The Black Swan can sacrifice one hideout for what this will get me,’ Keefe said. ‘And you can teleport. There has to be a cliff around here you can jump off to get the momentum.’” Yes, what this will get you. What that’ll get you is . . . something that you turned over to the Neverseen yourself (Kenric’s cache). This whole mess is Keefe’s fault. If he had just been less stupid, he wouldn’t have to sacrifice the Black Swan’s hideout to get the caches. Yes, Fintan’s cache would be a gain, but it’s not strictly necessary or needed. Nobody asked him to get it, he just arbitrarily decided that it’s what they need. You know, because he thinks they need it. He doesn’t understand risk or reward, and he doesn’t understand that some things aren’t worth sacrificing. Other people will have different opinions on whether or not something’s worth something else, but Keefe doesn’t do teamwork. He hijacks plans, then ruins them. He works off of what he, an inexperienced, scared, reckless teenager, thinks is best. Then he executes his atrocious plans without a drop of consideration from anyone else. 
“[ . . . ] but I’m even better at fixing things.’” No, no you’re not, Keefe. When has he ever fixed a single thing, up until this point in the story? Never. He’s only ever tried to do things that would get him killed but then is always stopped by Sophie. No, not stopped. Stalled. Even Sophie can’t reel him in. He’s only ever made Sophie go out of her mind with worry over him. He has no credibility to say that he’s ever “fixed” something. It’s simply untrue. The truth is: Keefe messes things up way more than he fixes them. 
“‘[ . . . ] know that I will end this.’” Keefe still thinks he’s everyone’s savior, he still thinks he’s the hero they all need, instead of the idiot all their carefully arranged plans are ruined by. I have never seen such a stupid, idiotic, arrogant, blind character. But maybe I just need to read more.
“You realize I’m not actually pooping, right? I mean, I know we’ve shared a lot of things, but I don’t think poop should be one of them—unless it’s sparkly and from an alicorn. Or blasting like a geyser out of a gulon.” Keefe knows Sophie is mad at him, and knows he should be grateful she’s even reaching out to him, and yet all he does is make the stupidest, unfunniest jokes to annoy her. It’s like he’s trying to sabotage his relationship with her. Also, Shannon’s use of potty humor never fails to feel incredibly out of place and so, so juvenile. 
“It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s not like you listen to me. The thought had a snap to it, and Sophie could see Keefe’s mind sting. But she wasn’t going to apologize.” Good. She shouldn’t. He deserves to feel that “sting”. All he’s done is ruin things, worry Sophie, and think he’s the greatest ever. He deserves to be put in his place. This isn’t even half of what he deserves. 
““I’ll be outside Lumenaria as soon as I bust out of here. I don’t care if there are patrols, I’ll find a way to evade them. I want to be close—that way if you need me, I can help.” Keefe, you realize you can’t just bypass security, right??? Like, they’re experts, and you’re a stupid teenager. You can’t just hide from them forever. Also, wow. The sheer arrogance Keefe needs to have to assume that Sophie’s going to need him, and him in particular. He still sees himself as Sophie’s savior.
[cut because character limit]
“[Sophie] I wish he wasn’t coming here, she told Mr. Forkle. It’s way too risky, and he’s only doing it because he feels like he needs to make everything up to me. [Mr. Forkle] He does need to make it up to you. Haven’t you realized that yet? That’s why you and Mr. Sencen work so well together. You both push each other to believe in yourselves. Don’t go easy on him now because you’re afraid he’s too fragile. The more you let him prove himself, the more he’ll realize he’s still worthy.” He does need to make everything up to Sophie, but Mr. Forkle is just. So wrong. If someone consistently ruins everything, they shouldn’t be given several more chances to prove that they’re “still worthy”, especially not without some additional reflection on their actions and especially not in a high-stakes war. They’ll just mess everything up again??? That should be common sense to a leader of a rebel group. Keefe needs to learn his lesson, and the only way to have that happen is to punish him for his actions. He needs to face consequences, and in a way that makes sure he doesn’t screw anything up again. And that’s by forcing him to stand on the sidelines. He cannot be allowed onto the “battlefield”, so to speak, when he actively puts everyone in danger by being there. He needs to understand everything that happened was his fault, and he needs to do something to stop himself from screwing it all up again.
“Keefe’s smile was somehow both breathtaking and heartbreaking, but it faded as he stroked her cheek [ . . . ]” Why is he randomly stroking her cheek when she just got up??? It’s so weird. Nobody does that. It’s weird and he needs to stop. And no, “they’re good friends” is not a good excuse. It’s incredibly strange to start touching someone’s face out of the blue. I can practically see Shannon patting herself on the back and thinking it makes their bond so much stronger. Really, it makes it so much creepier.
“‘All those months with them, thinking I was playing everything perfectly. I bet they were onto me the whole time. Just like my mom said. And they were planning this.’ He punched the sand, sending it spraying around them. Sophie held him tighter. ‘This is not your fault, Keefe. None of us realized what they were up to.’” Ah, another forced consolation scene, my dearly detested! And, look, Shannon even squeezed a “It’s not your fault” in there. While Lumenaria coming down is obviously not Keefe’s fault, it definitely speaks to his ego that he thought he was smarter than the Neverseen. Yes, he’s realizing now that he was wrong, but it doesn’t change the fact that he should still have to face the consequences. He joined the enemy without anybody’s approval. He can’t work with a team without hijacking everything himself and overturning everyone else’s ideas. He should still have to face the consequences of what he did. “I know now that I was wrong” doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t show any real consequence. It shows a tiny bit of growth, but nothing solid or meaningful. It’s a throwaway line that you could honestly miss if you weren’t paying close attention.
“‘It’s still huge,’ Sophie promised. ‘I know it doesn’t feel like it—but the secrets in those caches have to be important. That’s a victory!’ ‘A pretty weak one,’ he grumbled, trying to look away. She reached up and turned his chin back, waiting for him to meet her eyes. ‘You have to let this go. Don’t let this ruin what we have here.’” No, he’s right, Sophie. For once in his life. Sophie tries to comfort Keefe, and this entire scene feels so weak, like Shannon is desperately reaching for drama to fuel her beloved forced consolation scenes. In reality, it’s very simple. The caches have nothing on real-life implications. So, yes, the caches are a victory, but it’s a very, very weak one, and not at all worth the things Keefe did to get them. Also, Sophie grabbing Keefe’s chin like that is very, very weird behavior. Nobody does that with their friends, just grabbing their chins to force them to look at them.
Nightfall
“He’d also been working every day to make up for his mistakes.” Thank you for telling us that instead of showing it, Shannon. If he really felt sorry, he’d understand that he needs to change and stop being so reckless before he can safely be a part of plans and schemes again. If he doesn’t realize that, he’ll never stop putting people in danger.
“So, when Fintan asked for my blood, I told him he needed to prove that I could trust him by answering one question. And once he did, I had to hold up my end of the deal.” In case you’re wondering, the number of things Keefe screwed up during his time with the Neverseen is now: compromising Alluveterre, giving up his blood, freeing Alvar (although we know that probably wouldn’t have mattered, since they got away, but Keefe didn’t know that at the time, so I mean), and being wrong several times about the Neverseen going after Grady and Edaline. 
“But Fintan interrogated me when I got back, and I had to use the crystal to convince him not to burn off my arm.” This is the guy Keefe thought trusted him, by the way. Come on, he can’t be this stupid. 
“[Sophie] Do you really think Fintan would help you steal the caches if they’re actually important? [Keefe] Yeah, Foster. I do. Because he had no idea that he gave me the other piece of the code phrase weeks earlier, after he had too much fizzleberry wine.” Wait, the leader of the Neverseen got drunk in front of a teenager he doesn’t trust, and Keefe didn’t find that suspicious??? At all??? Really??? I can’t believe Keefe is that dumb . . . actually wait. This is Keefe. Never mind, I believe it entirely. 
“Trading my blood was a bad call. But I SWEAR the caches are still a score.” Keefe’s cockiness has come back in full force, y’all. Remember that forced consolation scene at the end of Lodestar where Keefe lamented about how the caches were a weak victory? Well, why bother with consistency? He thinks they’re a “score” now! This is what I mean when I say the forced consolation scenes are so dumb and only there for Shannon to milk some worthless comfort between Sophie and Keefe. She has to force it, which means half the time it makes no sense, so she either has to pretend it didn’t exist and reset for the next one, or contradict herself like she did here. Either way, it will just lead to another forced consolation scene, and eventually there’s only so many times you can take Sophie and Keefe having the same conversation over and over again.
“I’ll fix this, okay? Keefe promised. I’m going to fix everything. You mean ‘we,’ Sophie corrected. WE are going to fix this.” Speak of the devil. Here comes a forced consolation scene. Also the fact that Keefe still believes he’s going to fix everything by himself shows he learned absolutely nothing from his mistakes. It’s Keefe, so why am I surprised that he’s gotten zero character development?
“Does that mean you don’t hate me? Keefe asked. His mental tone sounded softer—almost timid. [Sophie] I told you, I’m never going to hate you, Keefe. [Keefe] But I keep giving you new reasons to change your mind. [Sophie] Yeah, you really need to stop that. She offered him half a smile, and he gave her the same when she added, But we’re in this together.” Wow, Shannon didn’t even take that long to dive into a whole mess of a forced consolation scene, complete with a trademark “Don’t hate me, please”. Again, it makes no sense why Keefe thinks Sophie would hate him. She’s talking to him, isn’t she? And she never stopped. She isn’t mad at him and she doesn’t hate him, and that’s plainly obvious to anyone with a brain. But how else is Shannon going to milk the drama for all it’s worth, if not by repeating the same conversation over and over and making her characters look dumb in the process?
[cut because character limit]
“Sophie fussed with her jeweled sleeves—which matched the emeralds lining the knee-high boots she’d slipped over her lacy gray leggings. Biana had frustratingly pointed out that elaborate clothes would do a better job of disguising her gloves, so Sophie was trying to force herself to get used to wearing glitter and frills. Keefe’s lips tilted into his famous smirk as he crossed the room to stand closer. ‘I meant that as a compliment, Foster. Sparkles look good on you. So does the new hairdo.’” I know this is a (very annoying, very harmful) trope in fiction, but the fact that Sophie is visibly uncomfortable wearing fancy clothes, and Keefe's only response is to be like “Well, it looks good!” is so objectifying and degrading. It shows that he doesn’t particularly care about her feelings or comfort, only the way she looks to him. I get that it’s a trope, but most things about Keefe that I’m criticizing are tropes, so. 
“He reached up, his fingers skating gently along the edge of the intricate braid weaving through the front part of her hair.” Possibly Keefe’s most creepy trait is the way he just . . . randomly touches Sophie. Like completely out of the blue. He’ll just touch her face or hair, which is so strange. Like that isn’t normal, and you shouldn’t be touching someone there without explicit permission. Especially not in such a . . . implicative way.
“‘If you’re trying to impress me, it’s working,’ he told her, and she felt her cheeks warm—until he added, ‘But, you always impress me, so maybe you were thinking of someone else?’” What makes him think she’s dressing up for him specifically, or even for someone else? That’s such an arrogant assumption to make. As if everything Sophie does out of the ordinary must immediately be for him or some other guy. Also, if Sophie and Keefe are so close, why doesn't he know about her plan to dress up to hide her gloves?
“Somehow he’d moved closer, and Sophie’s throat went dry as he reached up and touched her braid again.” Keefe sure invades Sophie’s personal space a lot in this scene. That’s not romantic, by the way. It’s creepy and possessive.
“‘[ . . . ] and while I’m sure you and the Fitzster won’t mind the excuse to stare into each other’s eyes—’ ‘It’s called Cognate training,’ Sophie corrected. ‘And that’s not what we do.’ ‘Keep telling yourself that.’ Sophie ignored him.” Again, Shannon making the same joke over and over again isn’t going to make it funnier. Also, Keefe is once again annoying Sophie because he thinks it’s funny and cool. Sophie having to ignore him shows that she doesn’t want to talk about it.
“‘And yeah, she’s fooled me in the past. But I’ve had a lot of time to think about things, and I’m pretty sure I’ve figured her out.’” You’d think that Keefe would learn not to underestimate a Neverseen member from his double agent catastrophe (and he did, canonically), but of course, Shannon now needs to undo all his (small bit of) character development so he can make the same mistakes over and over. He is so stupid. And arrogant. And so many other things. If he thinks he can outsmart his mom, who’s been playing the long game this entire time, without a care or thought in even the vaguest direction of a plan, then I don’t even know what to say. And his use of the words “I” and “me” prove that he still thinks he can do this all himself. With no input from anyone else. So tell me, where exactly is his development from his failed double agent disaster?
“‘Pretty sure?’ Sophie repeated. ‘You want to risk everything on pretty sure?’ ‘The only thing I’m risking is me.’ ‘Which is way more than I’m willing to lose.’” Again, Keefe doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings about a plan except his. He only wants to barrel his way through life and he’ll do what he believes is the best thing for everyone, regardless of whether or not everyone else agrees. His constant need to risk himself is tiring and repetitive. When is he going to change and grow? It’s also incredibly selfish. He knows how that will affect his friends and loved ones, especially Sophie. And yet, he still wants to do it anyway. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘Keefe snorted. “I’m betting Bangs Boy won’t.’ ‘Well, maybe he would if you’d stop calling him Bangs Boy.’ ‘Yeah, but that’s never going to happen.’” Shannon once again makes a pathetic attempt to create this narrative that Keefe and Tam have this mutual dislike of each other and it’s funny because they’re similar and this and that and the other. Again, no, the “rivalry” started when Keefe got jealous of Tam because he saw Tam as competition over Sophie. And Tam doesn’t even hate Keefe. He just finds him an excruciating nuisance. Which he is.
“‘Sorry, Gigantor,’ he said through gritted teeth as he scrambled to the other side of the room. ‘Foolish is my specialty.’” Keefe displays a resistance to valuable character development and change, almost as if Shannon heard complaints about Keefe’s lack of development and doubled down on it, but none is as bad as this book gets it. Keefe adamantly states that “Foolish is [his] specialty”, as if that justifies his actions, and talks about being stupid as if it’s just a quirky little personality trait, not a flaw he needs to work on and fix. It’s not a flex. It’s something that he needs to fix, and as soon as possible, too. He can’t just keep being stupid and, when confronted, say “Well, that’s just how I am, so you’ll have to deal with it”. That is so selfish, I can’t even process it. He displays such a resistance to change, such an arrogant attitude toward himself where he thinks he’s fine the way he is, that even though he actively puts people in danger, he doesn’t see a need to work on himself.
“‘I’m all good now, Foster. Unless you want to try kissing it to make it better.’” Have some more hideously horrific Keefe-style flirtation.
“‘Unleash the lecture! Here, I’ll even start it for you.’ His voice shifted up to an uncanny impersonation of hers. ‘How dare you ambush me, Keefe? I don’t care if you’re the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen—WAY better looking than other guys with their dimples or weirdly teal eyes. You had no right to show up and surprise me like that!’” Keefe just can’t stop bashing Fitz or Dex, can he? He’s so possessive that he actively brings down his supposed friends in his quest to gain Sophie’s attention and approval. Tell me, if he’s really meant to end up with Sophie, why does he act so insecure about her friendships with other guys? And the fact that he’s treating a very serious issue like a joke shows, once again, that he cannot be serious. He can’t think about other people for even a millisecond if it means going against his own wishes. And when it’s all over, all he wants to do is joke about it and hope that calms the other person down so he won’t have to face the consequences of his actions. It’s really quite manipulative, if you think about it. Means that he can distract the other person from the fact that he disregarded them and brush it all under the rug. 
“‘Don’t I at least get points for not hailing her by myself, making the deal alone, and running off to Ravagog without you?’” No, because he still forced his own plan onto Sophie and didn’t care about her opinion at all, despite the fact that apparently they’re a team. Remember, Sophie did not have a say in any of this. 
“‘I didn’t want you hesitating because of me, so I thought I’d make the hard decision for you—but everything after that was up to you.’” There is no good justification for taking someone’s choice away from them, and the fact that “everything after that” was “up to” Sophie is irrelevant, because she’d already been forced into a course of action she didn’t believe was correct.
[cut because character limit]
“‘Or maybe you’d rather I put my incredible Empath talents to work and help you solve the complicated square you’re always telling yourself is a triangle?’” More cringy humor that’s Shannon's horrible attempt to be self-aware in her own story, featuring the literal use of the word square and triangle with regards to Sophie’s love life.
“‘Come on, Foster, admit it—that was pretty clever.’” There is nobody on the face of this planet that brags as much as Keefe does when he pulls one tiny, slightly smart thing.
“‘Did the Mysterious Miss F. just agree that I’m a genius? Because that’s what I heard! And it’s filled my heart with all the warmest, softest fuzzies.’” This quote is only a couple pages after the one before and oh, boy. Keefe really can’t stop patting himself on the back for a single good idea. I wonder where that comes from . . . maybe that arrogance I was talking about . . . 
“‘But whatever it takes, it’s going to happen. Do you know why?’ When she didn’t answer, he took both of her hands, and she couldn’t ignore the rush of warmth that tingled through her when she met his eyes. There was no teasing glint to be found. Just pure determination when he told her, ‘Because Team Foster-Keefe is going to win.’” Shannon’s ability to cram forced consolation scenes into just a few lines is truly astounding. First of all, this is incredibly cringy. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Keefe’s dialogue has never been so horrifically embarrassing to read. Also, the way he just randomly grabs her hands and stares into her eyes is so weird and so forced. Isn’t that what he’s always making fun of Sophie and Fitz for? At least they have a good reason. So that also makes him a hypocrite. 
“‘Just the usual,’ Keefe told him. ‘Foster’s going on and on and on about how she can’t live without me. It’s really quite exhausting.’” Keefe’s flirting is at its worst in this book. It’s genuinely so bad, I can’t understand how it can be mistaken for charming or funny. 
“‘His idea of excitement is when he changes the way he parts his hair.’” More examples of Keefe tearing people down using his jokes, even if it’s subtle.
“‘Maybe not run off and join the enemy?’ Fitz suggested. The words were like a record scratch, screeching everyone into awkward silence. This was the first time they’d all been together since Keefe’s betrayal. Keefe cleared his throat. ‘Yeah . . . so . . . about that.’” Keefe only apologizes because Fitz brings it up. He never would’ve done it without that. He doesn’t bring it up himself, so it doesn’t really mean much. Yes, Sophie tries to tell him he doesn’t have to apologize and he still does it, but he wouldn’t have without Fitz bringing up how he ran away. 
“‘I’m sorry. I know you think I’m an idiot for running off. And . . . I guess I am. I thought the fact that my mom had built something she called my “legacy” meant that I was valuable enough to the Neverseen that they’d bring me in on all their plans and I could find a way to stop them. But it turns out I’m worthless.’” He’s not worthless, he’s stupid. And the wording of this is very intentional on Shannon’s part. It’s intentionally worded to attract pity and sympathy. It’s poor Keefe again, being called worthless again, oh, we should all go and feel sorry for him now. He is such a pity magnet. And he didn’t even apologize for the right thing. He apologizes for being stupid, sure, but he never apologizes for disregarding everyone’s feelings and ideas and forcing his own plan into action without consulting others. He never apologizes for not considering others’ feelings. It’s all just me, me, me with him. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘No, you’re not.’ Surprisingly, the words came from Tam. ‘Having a family like yours messes with your head,’ he added, tugging his bangs over his eyes. ‘I know how that goes. You still made a bad call—or lots of bad calls, actually. But . . . if you don’t do it again, we’re cool.’” Oh, and it works! The next line is Tam telling him that it’s not his fault, because his family’s bad! That doesn’t change the fact that Keefe made a decision to not tell anyone what he was planning, deciding to compromise several key pieces of intel so he could get back something he gave away, and generally be very arrogant. He didn’t consult or talk with anybody about it. Yes, Tam acknowledges that Keefe made “bad calls”, but where’s the mention of Keefe’s utter disregard for ideas that aren’t his?
“‘The only reason I’m including Keefe is because his mom seems to want him involved. Why else would she insist we contact her with his blood?’ ‘Plus, y’know, Foster can’t live without me,’ Keefe added. ‘Don’t make me smack you,’ Sophie warned. Keefe smirked. ‘I’d like to see you try.’” First of all, Sophie’s reasoning is chock full of logical fallacies. Yes, Keefe’s mother wants him to be involved, but why does that mean he, in particular, needs to go to Ravagog? They have no information at this point that says that he needs to be the one to go. And why should they listen to Keefe’s mom anyway? They don’t trust her. Also, Keefe annoys Sophie on purpose once again, and his annoying flirting gets even worse. Also, Shannon insists on making the same joke over and over, but this time, the last time he made that joke was less than a chapter ago, so it’s even more annoying. 
“‘Should we take bets on how many stairs Foster makes it up before she trips?’ Keefe asked. ‘I say she’ll lose it on the sixth step.’” Who. Wrote this??? It’s genuinely so bad. I swear, almost everything Keefe says in this book is top tier cringe.
“He snickered. ‘At least this proves I know you better than the Fitzster.’ ‘No, it’s that I have more faith in her,” Fitz corrected. “That’s what being Cognates means.’ ‘And yet, I seem to remember Foster hiding some sort of important secret from you during your trust exercises. Did something change while I was gone, or . . . ?’” Keefe is so weirdly possessive of Sophie. He acts like every single thing is this ridiculous tug-of-war over her with Fitz. He never passes up an opportunity to take shots at Fitz, his supposed best friend. Also, guessing when someone will trip is pure chance. That doesn’t show any sort of bond at all. I’m going to interpret that as a joke, because there’s no way even Keefe is stupid enough to believe that. He prods at Sophie and Fitz’s weak spots (the secret), like he’s hoping it will unravel. All he cares about is putting down Sophie and Fitz’s cognate relationship and bolstering his own relationship with Sophie. It’s such a disgusting yet subtle thing to do. Honestly, if Shannon had handled Keefe better, he could’ve been a character that could be used to teach kids about subtly manipulative and toxic relationships.
“‘Ugh, anyone else ready to vomit from the Fitzphie?’ Keefe asked. ‘I am,’ Dex said, as Linh asked, ‘Did Fitzphie become an actual thing?’ ‘I don’t even know what “Fitzphie” is supposed to mean,’ Tiergan noted. ‘Want me to explain it?’ Tam offered.” Seriously. Who wrote this. Shannon. What. What is this. The excessive use of in-story ship names is atrocious, but Shannon decides to double down on it. Leaving that aside, Keefe expresses a desire to “vomit from the Fitzphie”. Tell me that’s not possessiveness. Keefe is such an atrocious, toxic friend, and Shannon really cranks it up to eleven in this book. All he does is whine about how close Fitz and Sophie are, tear their cognate relationship down, claim his relationship to Sophie is better, and generally act very possessive of Sophie.
[cut because character limit]
“‘Ugh, score one for Fitzphie,’ Keefe mumbled.” Here, we see Keefe literally track points as if Sophie is a game he needs to win against Fitz (his “best friend”). All Keefe does is act jealous of Fitz and Sophie because he selfishly wants to be with Sophie. His constant whining is so annoying and again, Shannon use of ship names in-book is the most cringy, appalling move I’ve seen her make.
“‘I know! Our little girl is growing up and getting so snarky!’ Keefe pretended to wipe his teary eyes. ‘I’ve never been so proud.’” “Our little girl” . . . that totally isn’t creepy or infantilizing at all. The way Keefe talks about Sophie here is genuinely so gross, even if it is a joke. 
“‘We still do,’ Sophie argued. ‘We just have a lot going on.’ ‘And yet I sure seem to see a lot of Keefe these days. . . .’” He’s not wrong, Sophie. You kinda, sorta neglect everyone that’s not Keefe. It’s annoying how much attention he gets when he’s not even the main character.
“Keefe spotted the crush cuffs about ten seconds after he got to Havenfield the next morning—despite the long-sleeved tunic Sophie had worn to keep them covered. And he dragged out the rest of the story with a relentless bombardment of questions.” Can Keefe keep his nose out of Sophie’s personal business for even a minute??? The “dragged” here is very telling: Sophie would not have chosen to tell Keefe all this of her own free will. He bombards her with questions, and so she tells him, not because she wants to, but because she knows that he won’t shut up until he has the full story. This is Sophie’s secret. Sophie’s business (and Dex’s). Keefe has no right to ask about the cuffs at all. The fact that he “retelentless[ly]” asked her questions until she was forced to tell him the entire story is not a good thing. It does not demonstrate trust, but quite the opposite: a breach of personal boundaries. Keefe is so toxic, I honestly find it impressive how Shannon has twisted him into a seemingly perfect-angel love interest.  
“‘In his head, he wanted the Dexphie ship to set sail so badly that he kept fighting for it, even when he got some pretty clear signals that he was bound for a crash.’” I’m sure you can guess my feelings about the use of the word “ship” in-story with regards to romantic ships. Shannon really needs to stop making Keefe act like he’s outside of the story observing it like the audience is. It’s just. Too cringe. 
“Keefe smirked. ‘So that’s what kept you up tossing and turning? Wondering if I’ve registered for the match?’ ‘Ugh, that’s so not what I was saying.’ ‘Suuuuuuurrrrre it wasn’t.’” Keefe once again annoys Sophie just because he thinks it’s funny. Also, thank everything that’s holy for e-books. I would not have looked forward to typing that whole word out by hand. 
“‘Everything?’ Keefe asked. ‘Even . . . ’ He made an obnoxiously loud kissing sound. Sophie shoved him away.” Keefe’s horrific flirting is even cringier than normal in this scene. Nobody talks like this. And his favorite pastime of annoying Sophie comes around again.
“But then he leaned back and added, ‘I have way too much fun annoying you.’ Sophie sighed. ‘That does seem to be one of your talents.’ ‘And you adore me for it. In fact, maybe we should find out if we’re meant to be.’ He puckered his lips and Sophie shoved him a little harder that time.” Keefe blatantly admits that he loves to annoy Sophie. Annoying someone is not the basis for a good relationship. What are Keefe and Sophie even going to talk about once the Neverseen are defeated? It’ll just be Keefe annoying Sophie and Sophie acting annoyed, and Shannon pretending that’s romantic. And the part where Keefe says Sophie “adore[s] [him]” for annoying her??? What??? There are several points in the story where it’s clear that this isn’t true (and I’ve pointed out all of them, hopefully). Nobody likes being annoyed. Especially not on the regular and especially not when that’s Keefe’s only real personality trait. Put this all together with some of Keefe’s heinous flirting, and you get the recipe for a perfectly cringy scene. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘Do you realize that thanks to you, sweet, innocent little Dex has now kissed someone before I have? And you too?’” It’s not a competition, Keefe. Geez. Also, wow he really thinks that because he’s a “cool prankster rebellious bad boy”, he should be the first one to get a kiss??? That’s what the “sweet, innocent little Dex” comment is telling me. Does Keefe really, actually think in stereotypes???
“‘I realize it’s hard to believe, considering . . . ’ He waved his arm in front of himself, like his looks said it all. ‘Don’t get me wrong—I’ve had plenty of offers, but . . . ’” Kill me now. This is a fantastically cringy line, complete with Keefe’s cringy tendency to draw attention to his looks. We get it. You look good. It doesn’t need to be your entire personality. 
“‘How about I steal the Fitzster’s match packet for you?’ Keefe suggested.” I hope that wasn’t a serious suggestion. Genuinely. But Keefe is such a shitty friend, I think he would’ve done it if Sophie had wanted him to. He’s willing to steal a very personal document and give it to someone Fitz doesn’t want to see it. You know. Just because.
“‘Am I supposed to see this as bravery?’ Dimitar asked him. ‘The arrogant young elf lord who dares to taunt me?’ ‘Psh, like the Council would ever make me a lord,” Keefe snorted. “Though, Lord Keefe does have a nice ring to it.’” Who responds like that to that sort of question??? Keefe was accused of arrogance by a king that has something he desperately needs and his response is literally just make jokes. More evidence that he can’t be serious even when the time calls for it.
“‘That’s not what we agreed on!’ Sophie snapped. ‘Maybe not. But I’m not going to let you face any consequences for this.’ Keefe slipped his mom’s scroll from his pocket and Sophie felt her jaw fall, wondering when he’d stolen it from her.” I think you know what I’m going to say, because I’ve said it a million times already: Keefe doesn’t care about Sophie’s feelings or input, he hijacks their shared plan for his own, he steals from her, blah, blah, blah. But you might be thinking, Wait, but Sophie does get mad at Keefe this time and does hold him accountable this time. He actually learns and grows! And you would be partially correct. But not completely. So this quote is mostly here because I’ll refer back to it later. I’ll write it in red so you can find it easier. 
“‘That was an incredibly dangerous move,’ Lady Cadence told Keefe, blocking him from following the ogre king. ‘Oh, you want to talk about dangerous?’ he asked. ‘How about the part when you almost started a brawl with King Dimitar? You were supposed to be the person at this meeting that he actually likes—that’s why we brought you!’” The two scenarios are not even remotely comparable. Keefe acted irrationally, with no inkling as to how Dimitar would react. He didn’t know what would happen, and he clearly planned this all in advance, even though he knew it was dangerous. Lady Cadence simply pointed out a breach in trust in her relationship with King Dimitar and told him she didn’t appreciate it. She knows Dimitar and considers him a friend, so she knew she wasn’t in any real danger from him. The idea that she “almost started a brawl” with the king is a complete exaggeration. She also wasn’t planning on having that conversation, it simply came up.
“‘And you can hate me if you want. But I made a promise when I found out my mom was with the Neverseen—she only gets to hurt me. It’s the only way I can live with myself.’” How noble. Except it gives him a convenient excuse to play the hero and ruin a group-made plan in favor of his own because of his own arrogance and overconfidence. So, not so noble. 
“Keefe grinned. ‘You really are adorable when you worry. But you don’t need to. I wouldn’t have agreed if I didn’t know I can handle it. See?’ He pulled his hands free and showed her how steady they were.” More of Keefe’s infantilization of Sophie! Yay! And if he really thinks he can handle it, he’s a massive idiot. A massive, arrogant idiot.
[cut because character limit]
“His motions were somehow both sluggish and erratic, and when he tried to pivot, the weapon slipped from his grasp.” And here is where we need to talk less about Keefe as a person and more about the way he’s written. Here, it’s explicitly stated that Keefe is terrible with a blade. Makes sense, he’s never handled one before. But, as we know, he’s about to defeat the ogre king in a sparring match. Keefe largely uses his skills in the match, but in terms of plot, it still makes no sense that he’d be able to defeat the king of a species whose entire culture is based around fighting and war. Yes, he’s trained in his skills extensively, but he’s never actually used them in a spar like this. There’s so much more to battle besides simply throwing everything you’ve got at your opponent. Dimitar should be able to predict what Keefe’s going to do next, even if Keefe tries a sneak attack, because Keefe’s never learned to hide that and never learned how to disguise his next move. Dimitar should be able to wear Keefe out so much that he doesn’t have the energy to use his skills anymore, because Keefe’s never learned how to conserve energy in a useful manner during a battle and never learned how to make every single strike count. Dimitar should be able to take Keefe down in a single strike, because Dimitar should know where the body’s weak spots are and how to cause the most pain with the least effort, which Keefe doesn’t know. So, no, Keefe simply using his skills should not be enough to defeat Dimitar when he has nothing else in his arsenal. And this is all to say: the point of this sparring match is to make Keefe look a hero. Even if it makes no sense. Keefe is written to be triumphant in this scene. It’s plot convenience at its finest. Shannon loves to do this with Keefe, where she’ll make him have some ability he realistically wouldn’t have because she needs him to be somewhat badass to uphold his “bad boy” image. 
“‘The grip on that one’s faulty,’ Keefe mumbled, kicking the weapon aside and snatching a dagger with a palm-length blade. ‘This one looks perfect for sneak attacks.’ ‘You can’t sneak up on him in an open ring,’ Sophie argued.” More evidence of Keefe just straight-up being incompetent when it comes to fighting. Which is fine by itself. But he can’t be incompetent at fighting and also win a sparring match against the king of a species known for their legendary fighting skills. Again, this scene is a massive example of plot convenience to make a character look good. It shows how Shannon favors Keefe. Honestly, he should’ve just lost the sparring match. Would’ve made the scene more interesting, and might’ve given Sophie, the main character, a chance to shine by quickly improvising a way to talk King Dimitar into giving up the starstone anyway. It might’ve also curbed Keefe’s ego, though I doubt it. 
“‘The only loss will be yours!’ Keefe sidestepped Sophie and charged into the ring, dagger raised, eyes wild, leaping for the ogre king.” Another example of Keefe’s straight-up stupidity. 
“‘There you are,’ Keefe whispered, his breath warm on her cheeks. ‘You’re good now, right?’” Keefe stop breathing all over Sophie’s face challenge. 
“‘I’ve never been so proud of us!’ Keefe said, holding up his hand for a high five.” I’d just like you to remember that Keefe can feel Sophie’s emotions. He knows how angry she is at him right now. And his immediate reaction is to try to joke his way out of it instead of treating it seriously until he’s forced to by Sophie. He literally tries to dumb this down and make it seem like it’s not as bad as it is so that Sophie won’t be mad at him. It doesn’t work, but it’s an incredibly manipulative thing to do. 
“‘Awww, my girl keeps getting snarkier and snarkier,’ Keefe said proudly. ‘I’m not your girl,’ Sophie snapped back. ‘And don’t think I’m done being mad at you!’” Keefe calling Sophie “my girl” is a form of infantilization, because he obviously doesn’t mean “my girlfriend”. Thankfully he gets called out on it. This time. 
[cut because character limit]
“Foster’s not ready to face her feelings,’ Keefe stage-whispered. ‘I’m ready to strangle you,’ Sophie countered.” Keefe’s joking here (and in the process annoying Sophie, but what else is new), but the implication is obviously that Sophie’s too scared of her feelings to face them and that she needs Keefe to swoop in and decipher them for her. Her own feelings. Do you see how that might not be the best thing to say, Keefe? Do you? Even if someone is wrong about their own feelings, that’s their prerogative. It’s always their choice of whether or not they want to face their own feelings or not.
“‘Maybe you’ll finally knock some sense into him.’ ‘I doubt it.’ Keefe winked, but Sophie looked away.” More of Keefe acting like his stupidity is just a quirky little trait instead of a flaw that could cost him or someone else their life. Being stupid is not a personality trait. It’s a flaw. He needs to stop treating being stupid like it’s this innate trait that’s just a part of who he is. It’s not.
“‘I’m guessing at least a week. Maybe more.’ ‘Yeah, that’s not happening,’ Keefe told him. ‘You’ll regret it if you don’t,’ Elwin warned. ‘Play this smart and the most you’ll have is a thin scar. But if you’re not careful, you could end up with nerve damage.’” Is Keefe really so stupid that he’s going to choose to have permanent damage because he won’t bed rest for a week of his life? This is. I can’t even.
“‘That depends on what my mom tells us,” Keefe argued. “If we’re heading straight to Nightfall—’ ‘You’re not going to Nightfall,’ Sophie interrupted. ‘You’re doing bed rest until Elwin says you’re better.’ Keefe smirked. ‘It’s cute that you think that.’” Why does Keefe need to be so stubborn about everything? Even this??? He literally throws away a perfectly smart thing to do with no drawbacks because . . . he wants to be with Sophie when she goes to Nightfall. That’s it. Again, he pedestalizes Sophie to such an extent that it makes him stupid. 
“Keefe wrapped his arm around Sophie. ‘Foster gets all worked up when she’s trying to protect me.’ ‘That’s not what this is about!’ Sophie snapped, pulling away.” Keefe literally tries to flirt his way out of Sophie’s anger, with a dash of infantilization thrown in for funsies. 
“‘Though would it kill you to do the smart thing, just once, and actually listen to someone when they’re giving you good advice, instead of thinking you know everything and doing whatever you want?’ Keefe considered that for a second. ‘Yeah, that might actually kill me.’” I seriously have no words. Keefe literally admitted that he’s stubborn to an excruciating extent, stupid, and arrogant, and he doesn’t see a problem with that at all. He genuinely just believes that they're innate parts of him, not flaws. 
“Sophie couldn’t look at Keefe after that. She didn’t want to see the hurt in his eyes as she dug out her home crystal.” If he’s hurting in this scene, then he deserves to be hurting. All he’s done is do stupid stuff and hijack everything without consideration for other people. So, yeah. He deserves it. 
“‘In case you need help deciding, I’d go with the part of you that wants to run over here for an epic Team Foster-Keefe hugfest, and not the part that wants to rip off my arms and smack me with them.’” Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. Starting in this book, Shannon uses the suffix “fest” incessantly, and doesn’t stop. It’s such a terrible choice that while it’s cringy the first few times, it quickly becomes unbearable as she keeps doing it. And Keefe gets it the worst.
[cut because character limit]
“‘I’ve also been eavesdropping outside—plus, Forkle hailed me this morning and caught me up on everything that’s been happening. So I already know about the giant beast things my mom made, and how we have a drugged Alvar in custody, and how all that boring stuff from Lady Cadence’s report about bacteria turned out to have something to do with flowers, and how there’s apparently another Nightfall in Atlantis that’s not part of my legacy, and that’s where we need to go to get your parents. Oh, and my mom wants us to steal from it and destroy it—which totally kills the fun, but I’m still game for blowing a Neverseen hideout off the planet.’” Another example of Shannon using Keefe as narration. It’s like she doesn’t trust that her audience will follow the story, so she feels the need to recap it. But wait, that’s boring! It’s fine, just have a ““““““humorous”””””” character do it! It’s a trick a lot of writers do when they think their audience is stupid, or they think what they wrote is too convoluted and want to make sure their audience has it straight. It’s also something authors do to pat themselves on the back, like, See? I wrote all that. And you just spent the last third of the book reading all that. Now, appreciate how much work I put in. I’m not saying Shannon doesn’t deserve praise for that plotline, and I genuinely think it's good, but I can’t stand it when she uses Keefe as a summary or narration gimmick. She could’ve just had Keefe say “I know everything I missed” and left it at that.
“‘How much groveling am I going to have to do before you trust me again?’” Keefe shouldn’t have to “grovel” to regain Sophie’s trust. Groveling is just words, no action. To regain trust, he’s going to have to prove that he won’t hijack everything and take over again. This is why this particular arc (miniarc?) of Keefe’s makes no sense. He only goes through this development because Sophie was mad at him, not because he actually realizes something about himself. And then Sophie immediately trusts him again and lets him work with her on everything again without any period of time where she’s suspicious of Keefe. What I’m saying is, Keefe’s breach of Sophie’s trust never really impacts their relationship. They have a fight, immediately make up the very next time they see each other, and then it’s over and done. There’s no period of time where it’s still a sore spot. No work to get to a point where Sophie feels like she can really trust Keefe again. As a result, it falls completely flat because Keefe didn’t earn anything. He just apologized and that’s it. But that shouldn’t be it. He should have a long way to go from now. An apology is just the start. Sophie shouldn’t forgive instantly. It just feels so cheap. It really shows how Shannon just wants a quick fix to Keefe’s problems instead of a real arc with real character development. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘I’m sorry, Sophie. Really. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. That’s why I stayed in bed, even though I knew my mom had to be dragging you into a million dangerous things. I wanted to prove that I could do the right thing. Well, that and Ro threatened to tie me down and cover me in flesh-eating bacteria if I didn’t, and I could tell she meant it.’” Keefe says that he stayed in bed because Sophie would’ve wanted him to and because he wanted to “do the right thing”. That’s . . . not what his motive should’ve been. His intention should’ve been to get stronger and heal. That’s it. There should be none of this nonsense about “doing it for Sophie” or “doing the right thing”. He should want to get better so that he doesn’t have permanent damage. Again, his weird obsession with impressing Sophie and doing whatever he thinks she’ll want is showing through, and had Shannon been a better author, she could’ve made it a flaw and related it back to his abusive parents and how he’s always craving attention because he never got enough from them or something. But instead, it’s hailed as a great quality. So, remember when I said I’d refer back to that quote I wrote in red? This quote is a primary example that, while he does apologize to Sophie, he doesn’t actually change from this incident. There are several moments down the line where you will see that Keefe still hijacks plans and still disregards Sophie’s feelings. An apology, sure, but there’s no actual growth. (I’ll put this quote in red too, so it’s easy to see that these two things I’m bringing up are connected into one big point.) So to people making the argument that Keefe was finally held accountable and developed from this whole thing, I hate to say it, but Keefe is just as infuriatingly arrogant as before. 
“‘Because you can be wrong and still smarter than these guys,’ Keefe told her with a grin.” Ah, Keefe’s arrogance never fails to make me cringe practically out of my body. Maybe if he was more open-minded, we wouldn’t have to deal with his stupidity.
“‘So maybe you do it wrong,’ Tam suggested. ‘It’s a puzzle,’ Keefe argued. ‘The pieces should only fit together one way.’” Keefe is so stupid that he literally tries to claim that the “pieces should only fit together one way” after just having seen evidence to the contrary. Literally, I’m not kidding, Sophie just put the puzzle together differently than him like two seconds ago and he says this. I knew he was arrogant, but damn. Can’t Shannon tone it down a little to at least try to make it seem like she gave Keefe actual development?
“‘She probably thinks I’m too dumb to put the key together the right way.’” This logic is so stupid. Even if Keefe was dumb enough to not be able to put it together, it’s not like he works alone. Someone in the Black Swan or something would’ve figured it out. And his mom knows that. His entire argument here makes no sense.
“He reached up and wiped one of the tears trickling down her cheeks.” Another weird example of Keefe touching Sophie’s face. It’s quite creepy, and it’s strange how Shannon tries to make it seem touching.
[cut because character limit]
“‘Okay, two choices,’ Keefe told her, standing up and tilting her chin toward him. ‘You can tell me what’s wrong. Or I can put my Empath powers to work—but keep in mind, Option B will likely pick up on all kinds of other feelings.’ Sophie gave him her surliest scowl, but he didn’t back down.” First of all, here’s another example of Keefe touching Sophie’s face creepily. Secondly, Keefe just extorted Sophie’s personal feelings out of her. He just threatened to use his empathy on her if she didn’t tell him what was going on. He then said that if she didn’t tell him the thing she obviously doesn’t want to tell him, he’d not only use his power on her and figure it out, but would also probably pick up on other things she doesn’t want him knowing about. Sophie then makes it very obvious that she doesn’t want to do it, but he “didn’t back down”, by which Shannon of course means “didn’t respect Sophie’s feelings and her right to keep them to herself”. That is so. That is just. I don’t understand how Shannon somehow managed to twist this into Keefe caring about Sophie. He threatened, coerced, manipulated, and extorted her into telling him, sure, but caring about her??? Don’t make me laugh. Keefe is possibly the most toxic character in this entire series, and it is disgusting how Shannon gives the impression that this is caring behavior, or correct in any capacity at all. When someone wants to be left alone, you leave them alone. Keefe needs to go back to seventh grade health class, where they teach you that no means no. 
“‘I take it that means you haven’t joined Team Foster-Keefe?’ Ro asked. ‘Because I have to admit, they’re pretty cute together. Especially when she gets that look in her eye like she’s going to tear off his head.’” Ro is . . . a whole other subject. But oh, god. Shannon. What are you doing. If someone consistently and constantly “gets [a] look” in their eye like they’re “going to tear off” the other person’s head, then that’s a sign that that other person is annoying and that they don’t enjoy spending time together. The other person is obviously driving the first person crazy and enjoys it, so why would you encourage that??? Stop feeding into this narrative that that’s a healthy thing to have. It’s not. It’s completely toxic for Keefe to take pleasure in annoying Sophie, and it’s disgusting that Sophie is just expected to put up with it.
“‘Figured you guys would say that,’ Keefe told them, ‘even though you can’t really stop us.’ He winked at Sophie.” Oh, boy. Shannon’s really leaning into Keefe’s “bad-boy” persona, isn’t she? Someone needs to explain to her the level of cringe this invokes. Also, the winking is back. Wow, isn’t Keefe so cool. You know, cuz he winks at Sophie like they're in on a secret or something. Isn’t that so badass.
“‘But I think you’re also forgetting, Foster, that we’ve managed to get a lot done when school is in session. We stopped the gnomish plague while going to Exillium—and you managed to look into the Everblaze while juggling midterms. You even got your abilities fixed—and healed Alden—during the first term this year.’” Shannon, please stop using Keefe as summary and narration. We know. We read the series. We don’t need you to recap it for us. We’re well aware.
“‘You’re welcome for making it so you don’t have to stare at ten thousand reflections of yourself every day,’ Keefe told him. Sophie elbowed Keefe as she sat beside him. ‘You don’t get to brag about leaving me covered in shattered glass.’” Keefe literally just joked about destroying Foxfire . . . wow. The audacity is. Just, wow. Sure, Sophie calls him out, but it’s very light-hearted. Again, Keefe is incapable of being serious, even when the topic or time calls for it.
[cut because character limit]
“‘Much as I’m enjoying this sudden overflow of adorable Foster-rage—it’s not worth it.’” Ah, more of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and invalidating her feelings. If someone finds your anger or worry “adorable” and acts like it’s this cute little quirk, then that’s never a good thing. Especially if they enjoy it. Someone who cares about you should never enjoy seeing you angry or worried. 
“‘Uh, we all know Foster can’t bear to be away from me—and art is about honesty. That’s why I made sure I have the best hair.’” Sometimes, I wonder how some of the shit Keefe says can even be real. How is he not collapsing from the cringe? Keep in mind, this is all taking place in front of a large audience.
“‘Only for some people,’ Biana noted. ‘He gave the rest of us mood candy. Again.’” Yes, because he only cares about Sophie and prioritizes her over everyone. He only cares about her feelings and her wishes. He doesn’t extend the same courtesy to anyone else. In other words, he pedastalizes Sophie to such an extent, it makes him blind to other people’s wishes. He has such tunnel vision, it’s funny. He’s very neglectful of his other friends.
“‘I’m sure she didn’t. This’—he traced a finger over the crease between her eyebrows—’doesn’t make you very convincing.’” Keefe really needs to stop touching Sophie’s face weirdly.
“He strode over to her, and she tried to back away but crashed into the wall.” Ah, the infamous scene. Keefe once again invades Sophie’s personal space. He moves toward her, and when she tries to move away from him, he doesn’t let her move. Wow. Real upstanding guy. This is not romantic. This is creepy. 
“‘Oh, I know. But you’re forgetting something, Foster.’ He was close enough to reach out and gently tuck her hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper, ‘I like a challenge.’” And then, as if creeping all over Sophie wasn’t enough, he gets up in her face, touches her face, and says this cringy-ass line. Again, this is not romantic. This is creepy. 
“‘On the one hand, the look on Fitz’s face is pretty priceless right now, and I know it’s killing him not to say, ‘But we’re Cognates!’ But on the other hand . . . don’t go thinking this lets you into the Foster Fan Club, Bangs Boy!’” Can Keefe let any guy in their group do anything for Sophie without immediately seeing him as a threat?
“She could feel him reaching for her glove—and yanked her hand away.” Keefe tries to breach Sophie’s boundaries. But what else is new.
“If she’d had it her way, she’d be alone. She’d even tried asking Keefe to leave, but there was no getting rid of him.” Sophie literally asked Keefe to leave her alone, and he didn’t. He disrespects her boundaries, invalidates her feelings and assumes that she wants him around all the time, even when she tells him she doesn't want him there. That’s not being caring, that’s thinking you know someone else’s feelings better than they know their own feelings. This might be Keefe’s worst act yet. When someone wants to be left alone, you leave them alone. You don’t assume that they don’t know their own wishes and encroach on their space, instead. It’s disgusting and manipulative, and the fact that Shannon said that in a throwaway, forgettable line shows that she doesn’t understand how horrific that is. It’s also another example of Keefe being arrogant and assuming that Sophie always needs him when she’s down. Only him, because he knows her so well! It’s very cocky and somewhat entitled behavior.
Nightfall Short Story:
“‘Look! I’m all better!’ Keefe promised [ . . . ]” Why did Shannon have to make Keefe so unbearably annoying. Like, seriously. He’s told he’s going to have permanent damage if he doesn’t do bed rest and his reaction is literally Oh, well. He needs to stop treating serious issues like jokes.
“‘I can always pry those pouty lips open and pour it down your throat,’ Ro added with a smile that showed every single one of her pointed teeth.” Why is Keefe refusing to take his medicine??? Is he really that stupid and excruciating?
“‘It’s only for a week’ ‘Uh, do you realize how many times Foster can almost die in a week?’” Does Keefe really think he can stop Sophie from almost dying??? Just because of his . . . presence??? Wow, he’s even more arrogant than I thought. 
“He didn’t care what anyone said. Sophie needed his help.” Oh, boy. He really does see himself as her savior. How adorable. And by adorable, I mean obsessive and creepy. Is he really so stupid and stubborn that he’s willing to risk doing permanent damage to his body just so he can . . . see her? He won’t even be able to go with her to Nightfall??? What exactly does he think he’s going to do?
“Then he was lost to his floaty dreams, most of which focused on the gold-flecked brown eyes he could never get out of his head.” What Wattpad author held a gun to Shannon’s head for her to write this??? Damn . . . he really does have an unhealthy obsession with her. 
“‘It is. It’s going to take me a little while to make it—but it’ll seriously top every gift she’s been given before.’” Fantastic. So he’s still as arrogant as ever. Even after whatever miniscule amount of character development he supposedly gets in this story.
“From that point on, he only had one goal: to be whatever Sophie needed. Not the hero. Not the one taking charge of everything. Just a guy ready to listen and help and be there for her. A friend. Until she was ready for more.” The fact that his “one goal” is essentially to be obsessed with Sophie is kinda. Not good. Keefe is a classic case of obsessed-with-the-love-interest syndrome. It takes over everything and he can’t even do a week of bed rest without obsessing over her every single day of it. Also, the part at the end where he says “Until she was ready for more” . . . bro. I do not have the words to describe how disgusting that is. He just sort of . . . assumes that one day he and Sophie will end up together. Now, think back to all the times he’s begged Sophie not to hate him. Even at this moment, he knows Sophie’s angry with him. If he truly thought she would hate him, why would he assume that he’d end up with her someday? It’s a walking contradiction. It’s so revolting to assume that one day someone you like will end up with you. It also proves my point that Shannon only throws all those “Please don’t hate me”s in there to attract pity for Keefe. If he actually believed she would ever hate him, he wouldn’t assume so readily that one day she would be “ready for more”. Pick a lane Shannon: he can either be sure Sophie will want to be with him someday, or he can think she hates him, but you can’t have it both ways. They’re opposites.
Flashback:
“‘[ . . . ] forced herself to meet Keefe’s ice blue eyes. ‘I’m fine.’ When he raised one eyebrow, she added, ‘I’m just frustrated [ . . . ]’” (7) That’s right, the page numbers return. And I have physical copies of the rest of the series, so they’re here to stay. It may seem like Keefe is just trying to check on Sophie and make sure she’s okay, which is a noble cause, but when someone says they don’t want to talk about something, that means they don’t want to talk about it. That does not mean you prod and prod until they spill. So many things Sophie tells Keefe get twisted and people think she tells him because she trusts him, but more often than not she doesn’t and he just prods her or extorts them out of her.
“‘You’re so adorable when you worry. I’ve told you that, right?’” (12) Yes, you have, and saying it more doesn’t make it any less icky and gross and infantilizing. It’s like he’s dumbing Sophie down to this object who only exists to entertain him with her adowabuw wittle feewings, instead of a person with very real, very complex emotions.
“He traced his thumb over the sliver of skin between her glove and the edge of her beaded sleeve. ‘There’s something you’re not saying right now. I can feel it.’” (12) Keefe once again breaches boundaries because he can’t keep his nose out of other people’s personal feelings. He has no right to just help himself to Sophie’s emotions like that. It’s a massive breach of boundaries, and then using that to try to pry the secret out of her is nothing short of repulsive behavior.
“‘Come on, Foster. It’s me. You know you can trust me.’” (12) Does she? Does she know that? Because it seems like in order to trust Keefe, Sophie would have to know that for herself, instead of having Keefe feed that to her. Sophie likely does trust Keefe, even if her trust is misplaced, but saying it like that is very, very manipulative. And Sophie really shouldn’t trust Keefe, because almost everything she tells him is manipulated and extorted out of her. She’d tell him a lot less if it weren’t for his toxic traits and extortive empathy. 
“‘Lord Hunkyhair,’ Keefe corrected. ‘What? It’s accurate.’ He tossed his head like he was in a shampoo commercial.” (20) I forgot about this atrocious nickname.
“‘Fintan knew Keefe would be dumb enough to go after them,’ Ruy added, ‘so he had our Technopath make a couple of replicas.’” (89) I mean . . . he isn’t wrong about Keefe’s stupidity.
“Tam and Keefe had been feuding since the moment they’d met—even though they were so similar it was kind of hilarious.” (117) Again, if Shannon wants us to believe that Keefe and Tam have this deep rivalry, rather than Keefe being jealous of Tam and Tam thinking Keefe’s annoying because he gets possessive of Sophie, then she’s going to have to put a lot more effort into it then that.
“‘It’s okay to hate me,’ Keefe said from the doorway.” (138) Oh, boy, here comes the forced consolation scene pity-party. That’s going to take up a whole two chapters, by the way. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to watch Keefe wallow in his own self-pity while Sophie strokes his ego for two entire chapters. 
“‘Fintan’s good. His emotions always felt normal when I asked about the caches. A little nervous. A little suspicious. Exactly the way he would’ve felt if they were real.’” Wait, Keefe asked Fintan about the caches??? This is just getting better and better, by which I mean Keefe’s getting stupider and stupider. My guy. Have some subtlety. When asking about something you want, you don’t just outright ask that. Keefe’s even dumber than I thought. Seriously, how did he think he was smarter than the Neverseen?
[cut because character limit]
“‘Don’t beat yourself up about the caches. We’ll figure something out.’” (140) That’s the thing, though. Keefe needs to do some serious thinking about his choices and how they affect the entire thing. He needs to have that development. But Shannon wants to convince the audience that he’s fine the way he is. He doesn’t need to repent and change! He just needs to be entirely devoted to Sophie and everyone will still love him. He faces no consequences for running off with the Neverseen at all, despite the fact that he set them back. A lot. He’s still allowed to be in on all their plans and still trusted. Do you see what I mean? It’s like it never happened. It’s like he never ran off to join the Neverseen. There’s no impact. Everyone still trusts him, everyone still relies on him, nobody’s wary, nobody thinks he’s going to mess something else up, even though he’s proven, time and time again, that he’s reckless and cannot be trusted. Keefe cannot be trusted. But the narrative refuses to acknowledge it. He should be forced to sit on the side while everyone else comes up with a plan that excludes him. That should be when he realizes he can’t be trusted because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone and messes everything up. Keefe’s arc practically wrote itself for Shannon, but she refuses to let her character have growth. Keefe needs to have people, especially Sophie, be mad at him, so that he can realize what he did that was so wrong.
“‘You don’t have to tell me I’m a jerk,’ Keefe mumbled. ‘I already know.’” (147) Does he? Because if he was truly sorry, he would volunteer to sit on the sideline, so he knew he wouldn’t mess anything up again. He would volunteer to face whatever consequences he should’ve had coming for his actions. But he doesn’t. Because he isn’t truly repentant. He’s just throwing a pity party for himself. In the end, he’s just a pity magnet whose only purpose in the story is to lay it on thick so that he can gain more and more pity. There’s really nothing to pity him for. He did the action, so he has to face the consequence. It’s that simple. But he doesn’t. Remember what I said about how Keefe, despite Shannon claiming he doesn’t want pity, really does nothing but wallow in his own self-pity to make the audience feel sorry for him? Well this entire scene is a prime example.
“[ . . . ] every reckless decision he’d made over the last year was all part of his desperate attempt to relieve the shame and fear that were eating him up inside. That was the problem with guilt.” (148) By the way, Keefe’s whole “legacy” backstory is just another excuse for his actions. In the barest sense, nothing Keefe’s mom does or plans for him is on Keefe. He has no control and none of that’s his fault. So the fact that Shannon built his entire story on the fact that he’s guilty over something he didn’t do is so stupid I don’t have the words for it. If he doesn’t have something to be guilty over, how can he be a pity magnet? But if he does have something to be guilty over, he’d actually have to do something to deserve that guilt, right? So Shannon tries to have it both ways. Her precious Keefe can’t do anything actually wrong, or he won’t be so perfectly innocent anymore. So where’s his sob story going to come from? Oh right, he’ll just feel responsible for his mom’s actions. A perfect fix to the conundrum. But really it makes no sense at all. And it gives her every excuse to heap a suffocating amount of pity on him while simultaneously having him insist he hates pity.
“‘Too bad I’m stuck being the designated loser,’ Keefe said under his breath.” (149) Quite the pity party he’s throwing for himself there. Nothing ever got accomplished because someone wallowed in their self-pity. And that’s all Keefe does. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘Do you trust me?’ she asked. ‘Of course I do---that’s not the problem.’” (151) No, he may think he trusts her. But he really doesn’t. If he truly trusted her, he wouldn’t keep thinking he’s smarter than her and making plans without consulting her. He would value her input in his plans if he trusted her. He would stop feeling this incessant need to protect her and trust that she’d be able to handle herself. Because, let’s face it, more often than not, Keefe ends up giving Sophie more grief and worry than anything. She’s always worried about him and he’s even set her progress back several times. But he still thinks he needs to be there for her all the time. Not to mention, he doesn’t trust her decision when she says she doesn't want to share her feelings and thoughts with him, so he forces them out of her. True trust isn’t constantly leaping into that person's business and constantly trying to save them when they don’t need or want you to. True trust is trusting that they know what they want and need, and acting accordingly. 
“‘Umber wouldn’t have been able to find you if I hadn’t given you that pendant. Just like the day the Neverseen broke Silveny’s wing because of the Sencen crest I was wearing.’ ‘And you know what both of those things have in common?’ Sophie asked. ‘You had no idea that the Neverseen were manipulating you.’” (151) You know what I’m going to say. Forced consolation scene. The first statement Keefe says is valid. That mistake was on Keefe. He’s the one who thought he was smarter than everyone and then made such horrible mistakes that Sophie and Fitz will now have to recover for a third of this book. That was entirely on him. And honestly, pity shouldn’t be the automatic reaction. Anger is fine, too. But if Sophie’s angry at Keefe (as she should be), how can the narrative continue to pity him? But Keefe’s second statement is clearly thrown in there to attract pity. Look, it’s poor Keefe again, blaming himself for his mom’s actions again. It’s not pitiable. It’s just plain stupid. That wasn’t on Keefe in the slightest. The narrative then tries to equate both these actions with each other in Sophie’s statement, which is clearly an attempt to absolve Keefe of any blame for what he did when he was with the Neverseen. He underestimated his opponent and in his overconfidence, thought he could outplay them. He took a stupid risk without considering what his team would think and stole the pendant back without a thought in the direction of whether the Neverseen would suspect him. He even says in Lodestar that he didn’t know what he was going to do if the Neverseen figured out what happened (I have the quote up there somewhere). That’s the thing. That entire situation is on him. It’s his mess and his fault. But the Sencen crest isn’t. Shannon, please stop comparing two incomparable situations to make Keefe look good. Also, what does Keefe even want? What is the point of him doing all this wallowing? Does he want Sophie to blame and hate him? No, obviously not. Does he want to be punished and face the consequences of his actions? No, because if he did, he would suggest that. So, in the end, all his wallowing, and dare I say whining, is just that: whining. It leads nowhere, does nothing, results in no ideas for how Keefe wants to prevent something similar from happening again, and is just Shannon trying to make Keefe pitiable. There is no point to any of this. It results in no change, no development, no ideas from Keefe about how he will change, which makes it the perfect recipe for an easily resettable conversation. Because that’s all these forced consolation scenes are. The same exact conversation, which results in no change, so that it can be had over and over and over. 
This scene is so unbearably long, and for what? Unfortunately, I can’t copy down the whole thing, but oh, boy. Shannon really needs to stop these horrible forced consolation scenes that eat up so much time. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘Ugh, I shouldn’t tell you this, since it’ll just make you think I’m even more messed up than you already do—’ [ . . . ] ‘All I know is, weapons and blood don’t bother me the way they bother other people, so . . . yeah. Feel free to think I’m super creepy—” (161) The forced consolation is really being laid on thick. Shannon has switched from Sophie comforting Keefe over his guilt over something he didn’t do (over and over and over, just so Shannon can really annoy the point into us) to Sophie saying Keefe isn’t creepy because . . . weapons and blood don’t bother him. Huh??? Why would someone get freaked out because someone else isn’t bothered by blood??? That doesn’t automatically make them a killer. What kind of leap in logic is this??? But of course, Shannon has to have something to fuel her forced consolation scenes, and she’s burnt out all the Keefe’s-guilt-over-his-mom thing, so she has to switch to something else. Also, Keefe couldn’t be more of a pity magnet. He literally thought that Sophie would hate him because . . . weapons don’t freak him out. While they’re in the middle of a war. Wow. Shannon so badly wants us to pity him, it’s pathetic. Sophie needs to be Keefe’s personal assurance robot over something, so now it’s his nonaversion to blood. That’s the thing. Sophie always has to reassure Keefe of some dumb thing he shouldn’t worry about, and Shannon loves to blow it out of proportion to make it seem like this huge thing when it’s not. That’s why her forced consolation scenes are so forced. Because the consolation happens over the stupidest things. And there’s so many of them, like Shannon’s trying to convince us that we should really think this is something worth spending so much page time on. 
“‘Well, I think it’s safe to say that the Fitzphie slumber party is a total snoozefest,’ Keefe said [ . . . ]” (219) Keefe’s incessant use of ship names and the term “fest” returns with a vengeance. I honestly don’t get how Shannon didn’t see how juvenile his dialogue sounds. He doesn’t sound fifteen. He sounds six.
“‘You’ve had this campus to yourself all night every night, and you haven’t caused even a tiny bit of chaos.’” (223) Is this guy for real??? Serious??? While she’s literally on bed rest? I- I don’t have the words to describe how stupid he is. And if he isn’t being serious, then oh, boy, are his jokes so atrociously bad it concerns me.
“‘I’m really not in the mood.’ ‘I know—that’s what makes it extra fun. Go on.’” (225) Keefe stop salivating at any opportunity to annoy Sophie for his own amusement challenge. Keefe stop being a selfish piece of shit challenge.
“‘I thought if they saw me as Captain Committed, they’d teach me something good.’” (227) Shannon really needs to stop with the atrocity that is her nickname humor. 
“‘I shouldn’t have brought up any of those worries. Edaline warned me that you need to stay calm right now.’” (231) Nothing to say about this right now, but just remember this quote. I’ll touch on it in a little bit. Coloring it green to make it easy. 
“‘Rest. Recover. Take whatever medicine and time you need to get strong again. And trust the rest of us to cover anything that comes up while you’re down.’” (233) If only Keefe had taken his own advice a book ago . . . and someone's going to say "But he learned his lesson, didn't he?" To that, I say I've already covered all the reasons why he really didn't.
“‘I didn’t get swoony,’ Sophie felt the need to point out. ‘Keep telling yourself that, Foster. Keeeeeeeeeep telling yourself that.’” (235) First of all, counting those Es out was misery. At some point in Nightfall, Shannon really starts to jack up the amount of times she does that stretchy-word thing. And secondly, Keefe’s lack of self-awareness is as cringy as ever.
“‘I think Scaley Butt should be near Krakie so it looks like they’re swimming together. And then Bitey could be close to The Stink so it looks like he’s trying to chomp him.’” (251) A perfect example of Keefe’s atrocious mixture of potty humor and nickname humor, in the worst way possible.
[cut because character limit]
“‘Yeah, what time should we arrive to catch the Great Fitzphie Ooze Fest?’” (301) Someone needs to take away Shannon’s ability to type the word “fest”. Also Keefe’s horrible nicknames paired with immature humor strikes again. 
“‘I thought you weren’t supposed to be teasing Fitz,’ Sophie reminded him instead. ‘I’m not, but . . . he makes it so easy.’” (303) So when Keefe doesn’t want to set Sophie’s recovery back, he takes measures to make sure he doesn’t (remember that quote I told you to remember?), but when he has to do the same with Fitz, he doesn’t even seem remorseful when he slips up. He clearly favors Sophie, and remember, Fitz is supposed to be his best friend. He really doesn’t care about Fitz or his recovery at all. But he cares about Sophie’s.
“‘Hear that, Ro?’ he interrupted. ‘She’s giving me her serious voice.’” (304) Another example of Keefe infantilizing Sophie and dumbing her feelings down for the sake of a joke. Awwww, isn’t her serious voice so cute? She only does that when she thinks she has something important to say to us grown-ups! Awwwwwww. 
“‘He really doesn’t know when to quit, does he?’ Ro asked Sophie. ‘I’m pretty sure it’s a disease,’ Fitz told her. ‘Coping mechanism,’ Keefe argued.” (309) Shannon, pointing out Keefe’s flaws doesn’t give him character development. You actually have to like. Develop him. Also, the fact that Keefe had the perfect chance to reflect and change and instead decided to be as resistant to growth as he always is really says something about him.
“‘Why else would you spend so much time helping Miss Foster’s cause?’ ‘Uh . . . you’ve seen how cute she is, right?’” (312) Oh, gosh. Shannon really cranked Keefe’s atrocious humor up to eleven for this book, and since a good chunk of this book is filler, that’s all we have to go on for a good section. And if I thought it was bad when it was sectioned out, it’s even more unbearable now that Shannon is dumping it all on us at once. First of all, Keefe basically flat-out admitted a good chunk of his motive is because he wants to impress Sophie. People will argue and say that he’s just joking, but reading his short story was proof enough that he’s not really kidding. And second of all, Shannon really uses the word “Uh” a lot in this book right before someone makes a joke. It was fine at first, but it becomes so noticeable as the book goes on. It’s like she’s trying to tell us to brace for a joke. 
“I tell Keefe that stuff because it’s been the only way to get him to open up to me, she explained.” (323) Actually, more often than not, she doesn’t want to tell him anything. Usually, he forces it out of her with his empathy or manipulation or his general annoying demeanor. But thank you for twisting the narrative, Shannon. 
“Keefe guessed most of the story on his own, and I couldn’t deny it because Empaths are annoyingly impossible to lie to.” (324) That is not what happened. It’s explicitly said that Keefe “dragged the story out of her through relentless questions” (paraphrase, I have the real quote up there somewhere). He didn’t have to ask that. He could’ve respected Sophie’s boundaries and feelings. But he always has to stick his nose in everything when he thinks it’s his business. Fitz actually has a way better reason to know than Keefe; he just wants to improve their cognate relationship, but Keefe just wants to be nosy.
“She wasn’t sure if they were allowed to tell him—but it was so much easier than arguing.” (336) Keefe has literally annoyed Sophie so much that she doesn’t even think it’s worth the fight to keep a secret. That’s not good. It means that Sophie just succumbs to whatever he wants without a thought. That’s pretty much the highest sign of a toxic relationship.
“‘But you're kinda scraping bottom if you’re using me as the model of good decisions. Especially decisions concerning my parents.’” (337) Once again, Keefe shows that he’s fully aware of how dumb he is, he’s just so overly stubborn that he refuses to change. Shannon acts like this is an innate part of her personality and refuses to acknowledge it as a flaw. 
[cut because character limit]
“It’s always fun when you get feisty.” (355) I’ve said this about a gajillion times, but Keefe’s infantilization of Sophie is so horrific, it’s like he doesn’t care about her at all. He just sees her emotions as amusement for himself. 
“My life isn’t perfect, Fitz argued. Maybe not. But it’s pretty close, dude. I mean, yeah, Alvar’s a creep—but you still have your dad. And your mom. And Biana. And you’re still top of our class. And you’re Foster’s Cognate and . . . even without all of that, you’re still a Vacker. You’re always going to be the golden boy everyone expects greatness from. And I’ll always be the mess.” (360) Wow, Keefe is throwing quite the pity-party there for himself. If he didn’t want pity (which he explicitly says), then why does he keep saying he’s a mess? What are people supposed to say to that, besides You’re not a mess? Does he want them to tell him he’s a mess? This is a real thing people do, by the way, where they say negative things about themselves so that other people will reassure them they’re wrong. Keefe’s a massive hypocrite. If he truly didn’t want any sympathy, he wouldn’t keep saying he’s a mess and keep forcing the subject. Also, Fitz’s life is not perfect. Especially not now. I touched on this briefly before, but Keefe wouldn’t be jealous of Fitz being the top of their class. It makes no sense, when Keefe goes out of his way to cause trouble for himself in the academic department. It might make sense if Keefe tried and studied and still never matched Fitz, but we already know he doesn’t care. So this is another statement that’s just meant to attract pity and sympathy.
“Sophie had no idea what that meant—but it didn’t matter. I’m always going to be your friend. So am I, Fitz added. You sure about that? Keefe asked [ . . . ]” (361) Again, if Keefe really didn’t want pity, he wouldn’t keep going out of his way to say things that invoke pity. He would try to stay as far away from the subject as possible.
“‘Remember that? Such a classic Keephie moment!’” (380) Shannon needs to stop doing this whole self-aware thing. It doesn’t make her look smart to have Keefe talk about the ships in this series like he’s not involved in the story. It’s incredibly cringy.
“Is this that thing adults do where they make you think they’re giving you what you want but really they’re just wasting your time?’” (381) Another thing Shannon does is try to make the kids ““““““relatable”””””” by having them complain about adults all the time. Which is not how teenagers actually are. And once again, Keefe gets it the worst. Also, ungrateful much? Tiergan essentially offered to give him what he wants and he still fights it.
“‘Yeah, well [Sophie wearing Linh’s tunic] still breaks the fan club rules. As penance, I’m getting you a tunic that says, Empaths Give Me All the Feels, and I expect to see you wear it twice as often as Bangs Boy’s.’” (421) This is a joke, but the fact that Keefe makes such a big deal out of the tunic says a lot about his pathetic jealousy of Tam.
“Nah, he likes you better than me. Everyone does.’ ‘No they don’t.’ ‘Oh really? Tell me this: Have you heard from the Fitzster since he went home for the happy family reunion?’” (519) Another example of Keefe wallowing in self-pity. This book easily gets it the worst. It feels like everytime Keefe’s on-page, Shannon uses it to invoke more and more pity for him. If he doesn’t want people to pity him, then why does he keep saying things that invoke pity??? He doesn’t need to. Again, what exactly does he want Sophie to say? “Yes, Keefe, everyone hates you”? He is such a pity magnet and I get so tired of his constant whining because Shannon just does it so much. Then Keefe has the audacity to turn around and say shit like “I don’t want your pity”. Like, Keefe. My guy. You kinda sorta aren’t really giving them a choice with the things you say. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘Everything okay? Need me to leap over there? I will—I don’t care if Ro wins the bet.’” (521) First of all, if Sophie was not okay, what is Keefe going to do to make her feel better? Talk to her? He’s already doing that right now. Maybe read her emotions and extort a secret out of her? Also why does he automatically assume that Sophie needs him when she’s feeling down? That’s just. Such a bold assumption to make. Also, the fact that he’s so obsessed with Sophie to the point of throwing his bet under the bus just because she . . . looked tired? Is not good. That’s not a good thing. It’s a textbook sign of obsession. And Keefe’s obsession with and prioritization of Sophie is incredibly toxic. Again, if Shannon had made that out to be a negative quality on his part, it would be fine. But instead, she makes it seem like a desirable trait. He’s probably not willing to do that for anyone else, too. Like I’m sure he wouldn’t be willing to do that for Fitz, since he’s already admitted that he hasn’t talked to Fitz since he left the Healing Center. That’s on Fitz, too, sure, but a relationship goes two ways. So it’s also on Keefe.
“‘Sounds like I need to head over there after Daddy’s little hugfest tomorrow.’” (522) I just ranted about his obsession with Sophie, but this line is mostly here because it’s another example of Shannon’s love for the term “fest”.
“‘I can tell there’s something you're not telling me right now—but I’m not going to force you to talk about it. If you say you’re good, I’ll trust you.’” (522) Where did this sudden change come from? I know I’ve complained about this incessantly for this entire rant, but this seriously came out of nowhere. There was no development that led to this. It’s also a complete throwaway line, like blink-and-you-miss-it kind of thing. It’s a good thing, but it feels like Shannon randomly realized how creepy Keefe has been this entire time and shoehorned this in so it’d make him feel less creepy. Well, telling isn’t showing, Shannon, and it doesn’t change the fact that Keefe does this. A lot. 
“‘[ . . . ] if you and Fitz are visiting troll-baby hives without me, I am definitely losing at life, you know?’” (671) Someone needs to tell this guy that he doesn’t have to be a part of everything that happens in Sophie’s life. 
“‘So . . . you don’t hate me?’ Sophie rolled her eyes. ‘Ugh, how many times do I have to tell you—I’m never going to hate you!’ His smile looked tired. ‘Well. I guess that’s good enough. For now.’” (684) Again, Shannon really tries hard to make us pity Keefe. Also, that last part. Sophie not hating Keefe being “good enough” “for now” obviously implies that Keefe expects something more from her in the future. Shannon almost certainly wrote this with Sokeefe implications in mind, which is such a shitty thing for Keefe to say. He’s basically saying “You being my friend is fine for now, but one day I expect something more”. It’s honestly incredibly shitty. But also really subtle. So it can be skipped over or accidentally ignored.
“‘Thank you for thinking about me,’ he whispered. ‘No one does that.’ ‘Lots of people care about you, Keefe,’ Sophie gently corrected. He sighed. ‘I guess, but . . . ’” (725) The end of that sentence should be “those people who care about me aren’t you, and yours is the only opinion I care about because I pedestalize you heavily”. Again, if Keefe really didn’t want pity, he wouldn’t keep bringing things like this up. Plenty of people care about Keefe. He just pushes them all away except Sophie and then turns around and basically claims Sophie’s the only one thinking of him. Again, he prioritizes Sophie and then gets all woe is me, nobody cares about me except Sophie when he is the one pushing them all away.
[cut because character limit]
There isn’t really a quote to go with this, but Keefe only uses his emotional-calming breezes for Sophie, when it’s been proven they can work on anybody. He doesn't use them to help Fitz, although Fitz definitely could’ve used a couple throughout the climax of this book. He doesn’t use them to help Linh, either, when Linh learns about Tam. It's another way he pedestalizes Sophie to an unhealthy extent, and it’s not a good thing. 
Flashback Short Story: Keefe
“‘Sophie’s not some prize that Fitz and I get to fight over. She’s a person. And she has her own feelings—and no one knows those feelings better than I do!’” Again, it feels like Shannon randomly realized she had Keefe act like a jealous, possessive, manipulative asshole for the past book and wanted to turn that around so she added this in. But saying it doesn’t make it true. The mountain of evidence I’ve provided should make that clear enough. Again, it’s part of Shannon’s not-so-subtle pedestalization of Keefe. And the part where he says “no one knows those feelings better than I do” . . . oh, the nerve. The only reason he knows why she’s feeling what she’s feeling half the time is because he uses his empathy to extort her secrets out of her. It’s usually not because she wants to tell him or trusts him with whatever she’s feeling. 
Legacy
“‘Tell me why you have that cute little crease between your eyebrows.’” (70) You already know what I’m going to say. Keefe finding Sophie’s worry cute is textbook infantilization. But also, if he finds her worry and anger so adorable, what’s he gonna do when the Neverseen are defeated and Sophie doesn’t have as many things worrying her?
“‘You already know my mom gave me a letter to deliver to a house in London with a green door,’ he reminded Sophie as she made her way over. ‘And you said Fintan told you she sent me there to recruit somebody.’” (75) Yet another example of Shannon using Keefe’s dialogue as narration for things the audience already knows. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the “As you know” cardinal writing sin, but this is even worse than that because writers usually use it to convey something the audience doesn’t know. But Shannon literally used this to convey something the audience is already aware of. What the heck??? Shannon, stop treating your audience like we’re stupid. We read the previous book. We know what’s happening.
By the way, Sophie has some of the issues I’ve talked about here, too. Within a few pages alone in this chapter, she’s already gotten butthurt that Keefe left her out of one of his personal projects and tries to force her way into it (being nosy about things that aren’t strictly her business) and grabs one of his notebooks without his permission while he looks visibly uncomfortable and flips through it (invading his personal privacy). So it’s not just Keefe that has the problems I’ve listed here. But this list is strictly about Keefe, as I’ve said, so I won’t talk about anyone else, so in case you’re thinking “Well, [other character] did that too, and you never talked about it”, it’s because this list is solely reasons I don’t like Keefe. 
“‘I’m not sitting any of this out! And if you try to lock me up, it’s on.’” (88) Keefe once again demonstrates a startling lack of growth. He acts like a petulant child whose parents won’t let them go outside while it’s raining or something. He just got information that the Neverseen, specifically Tam, have been ordered to kill him. And knowing this, he insists on not “sitting any of this out”, even though he knows that he’s been ordered to be killed. He once again doesn’t care about how this might impact Sophie’s mental health, and his stupidity is back with full force. When you’re told that someone wants you, specifically you, dead, you listen. He’s so headstrong and arrogant that he thinks he can just, what, not be killed by pure determination? The Neverseen have already proven he can’t just do that. If Keefe could just make a single smart decision in his life or listen to a single good piece of advice, he might not be so annoying and frustrating as a character all the time.
“‘If something goes down in Loamnore like Forkle’s predicting, I will be there with you guys. Just like I’ll be there for anything else that happens—so let’s not make this into a fight, okay?’” (90) Once again, Keefe proves that he cannot take good advice. He throws his loved ones’ mental health under the bus because he’s too selfish not to sit one battle out for their sake. He still hasn’t faced a single consequence for the whole running-off-to-join-the-Neverseen thing, which he admitted in the last book was his biggest mistake. Actions like that should have consequences. And when you’ve been preemptively warned that you might be killed and still choose to go into the battle . . . wow. That’s just plain stupidity. And again, the fact that Keefe is willing to forsake Sophie’s opinion on the matter is ridiculously arrogant and taking-over-ish.
[cut because character limit]
“‘You’ll say, “Wow, that’s the hottest Wanderling I’ve ever seen! Who knew a tree could have such awesome hair?” And then you’ll all sit under my stunning leaves and write poems about my general amazingness.’” (91) Again, Keefe doesn’t know when to be serious. You can’t just joke your way through everything. Some things need to be treated with an appropriate amount of gravity. And Keefe doesn't know when to shut up with the jokes. It’s not a good quality. It makes him tone-deaf and insensitive. 
“‘I can joke about anything!’” (91) Like I just said, this isn’t a flex. It’s not a good thing. It’s very much a bad quality to have. People don’t need jokes all the time. They need them during appropriate times. 
“‘We’re always complaining that we don’t have any good leads. But I’m the lead. And I can’t help you guys if I’m hiding.’” (93) Keefe’s even stupider than I thought, which is really saying something. If Keefe’s the lead, then by definition, he doesn’t have to go anywhere to be useful. His argument is literally “I’m a lead to possibly useful information so you should let me go places”. Serious??? Real??? Bro. Keefe can be a lead sitting at home just fine. You don’t have to go anywhere to draw in a notebook. The fact that this is his argument and the fact that it’s not countered is just plain ridiculous. And stupid. Did I mention stupid? Because this argument is so stupid.
“‘Master elixir maker, ultimate gadget manipulator, and he scored a Foster kiss before Fitzy.’” (94) Keefe literally just casually spilled Sophie’s secret, emphasis on secret, to Sandor and Ro when he knew Sophie didn’t want him to. That’s just. And it’s treated so casually by the narrative. Sophie gets over it in half a second, and she just tells Keefe to stop distracting her. That’s it. This is a huge violation of trust and privacy and Keefe just every-so-casually violated it to try to distract Sophie for half a second. That’s just. It’s so. That is revolting behavior. It’s toxic, it’s selfish, it’s embarrassing (for Sophie), and Keefe, once again, faces no consequences for his actions. The line is a complete throwaway one, and Shannon’s attempt to make this a seemingly normal thing to do instead of the disgusting thing it really was is pathetic. I’d also like to mention that just a book ago, Sophie wouldn’t even tell Fitz, her cognate, who only wanted this information for the sake of their bond, the full story, because Dex had not consented to having the secret spilled. And now Keefe just spills it and you’re telling me Sophie’s just chill with that???
“‘See, but “smart” isn’t my brand. I’m more “reckless dream guy without a care”! It’s part of my whole “bad boy” image.’” (95) Did. Did Keefe just describe himself using blatant stereotypes? Wow. I- That’s just. Wow. Shannon really doesn’t have a single iota of shame. Also, her trying to make Keefe’s recklessness seem like a personality quirk instead of a very real flaw that could get someone else or himself killed is very troubling. Shannon. Stop treating Keefe’s recklessness like a good thing and stop letting him do reckless things without a hint of consequence. I promise nothing bad will happen to you if Keefe is allowed to grow and develop like a good character.
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“‘Yup! But I can’t stop her, so I might as well let her take you down with me.’” (97) This is Keefe talking about Ro using him as a lie detector to extort Sophie’s secret out of her, by the way. Which Keefe agrees to do. Which he wouldn’t do if he really was a good friend. Just like Sophie wouldn’t have to make this deal with Ro if Keefe would just listen to good advice for once and do the smart thing. But he doesn’t care about Sophie’s mental health, and he doesn't care about Sophie’s feelings, because or else he would respect them by agreeing to stay out of the Neverseen’s way and not using his empathy to extort secrets Sophie clearly doesn't want to share out of her. And Ro. Honestly, she’s even worse than Keefe, partly because of her personality, but mostly because of the wasted potential. Keefe was always going to be the “bad boy angsty prankster with daddy issues that causes trouble” trope that we've seen a million times. But Ro could’ve been so much more. She’s the ogre princess, and the most Shannon could do with her is make her a Sokeefe fangirl.
“‘He just doesn’t take no for an answer—you know how Keefe is.’” (147) Take that quote out of context, Shannon. I dare you. I wish Shannon would stop treating Keefe’s toxicity as a quirky little trait. The “you know how he is” implies that he’s like that because Keefe’s just Keefe, not because he forces his way into everything even when he shouldn’t. No means no. That is the number one rule of a healthy relationship. We teach this shit in school to teenagers so they don’t end up in abusive relationships, come on, Shannon. Even some random kid with a C- in health class knows more about toxic relationships than you do.
“‘I just love how it took you less than a day after your little chat with Bangs Boy to cut me out of everything.’” (215) Why are we looping back to this conversation??? We already spent almost a hundred pages of the book on it, and no, that is not an exaggeration. You can check. But of course, Keefe can’t not whine. He can’t not be annoying. He can’t not be stupid and nosy and unconcerned for his own safety and take everything Sophie does without him personally.
“‘Not saying she wouldn’t try. But I bet you anything Keefe will find a loophole.’” (270) I really wish people would stop acting like Keefe’s this super smart, all-powerful entity that can get out of any situation just because he’s Keefe. More often than not, Keefe is really stupid. He’s certainly not smart enough to figure out a way to escape an ogre dungeon. People need to stop acting like Keefe could get out of anything. It’s just another way Shannon tries to convince us he’s this smart guy, which is another way of propping up his arrogance.
“‘Yeah, Dex told me all about how not exhausting that was last night, when he checked in to tell me how things went for you two in London, while someone was off doing something with Mr. Forkle that was clearly both frustrating and intense—as most things with Forkle tend to be.’” (351) Sophie immediately goes to Keefe, and he subtly blames Sophie for not telling him what happened because of what she was doing with Forkle, which he even admits was frustrating and intense. That is such an asshole move, I can’t even. He literally blames her for not checking in with him because she had an emotionally exhausting day. Wow. It’s like he expects Sophie to be as obsessed with him as he is with her. 
[cut because character limit]
“‘But do you really think you’re going to be able to leave here without telling me what happened with the Forklenator? If you do, you’re going to be sorely, sorely disappointed—and covered in biscuit crumbs.’” (351) Again, Keefe as good as admits that he’d force Sophie to spill if she didn’t tell him what happened with Mr. Forkle. His extortive ways need to stop being glorified and start being treated like the horrific manipulation it is. 
“‘Soooooooo, what you’re saying is, you think I’m the king of bad decisions,’ Keefe said, laughing when Sophie fumbled for an apology. ‘Relax—I know what you meant. I’m just giving you a hard time. And you have a point. I’m not necessarily great at doing what I’m supposed to do and giving people what they want. And I’m not usually sorry about it either.’” (352) Those goshdarned Os. Shannon. Please stop doing that. It’s so annoying. And why is Sophie trying to apologize? It’s clearly Shannon’s way of making Keefe seem somewhat right. But the truth is, Keefe needs to have these hard truths shoved in his face. He needs someone to tell him unapologetically that he makes horrible decisions and he needs to reflect on that and change. And lastly. That third sentence. Keefe literally sounds . . . proud. Of the fact that he’s never sorry. He’s never sorry about his horrible decisions and he’s fine with that. His arrogance extends so much so that he knows he’s made bad decisions and knows that he should apologize, but doesn’t. And then he brushes that off so casually, like Haha, I don’t apologize for my mistakes. Aren’t I so quirky? People who are genuinely trying to be better usually aren’t like that. Keefe's toxicity and refusal to change even when he knows he should is so frustrating. Like he’s completely resistant to change and Shannon thinks that’s cool and badass. It’s not. It’s cringy and try-hard and most importantly, annoying.
“Keefe snatched Fitz’s wrist. ‘I knew it!’ ‘Knew what?’ Fitz shouted, trying to wrench his arm away. Keefe tightened his grip. ‘Shhhhh, let the Empath work.’” (367) Oh, boy. Keefe really is such a manipulative asshole. He grabs Fitz’s hand to read his emotions because he wants to know why Fitz is offering to search his dad’s memories. He really can’t respect his supposed best friend’s privacy, can he? He can’t control himself; when he wants to know something he needs to have it right away. He breaches people’s trust and boundaries. Fitz tries to “wrench his arm away”, meaning that he’s uncomfortable and clearly doesn’t want this. But Keefe instead tightens his grip and forcibly extricates what he wants out of Fitz, even having the audacity to say “let the Empath work”. What an asshole. Honestly. He’s such a piece of shit. He’s a terrible person and the fact that Shannon is romanticizing this behavior is revolting.
“Keefe smirked. ‘I think the moral of this conversation is, females are cruel.’” (369) I know I said I was ready to forgive Keefe’s sexist comments in the first and second books because they likely weren’t intentional in the way they came off (and are more of Shannon’s problem than Keefe’s really, but all of Keefe’s problems are inevitably Shannon’s, so) and they’d been removed from the graphic novel, so it was safe to say that Shannon didn’t want them there on second thought. But this book? It was released in 2019, seven years later. So yes, I’m counting this. And I said this once or twice already, but authors need to stop having male love interests be so casually sexist as a way of making them ““““““cooler””””””. Especially in a world where sexism isn’t supposed to even exist, oh my goodness. 
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“But she couldn’t leave without making sure Keefe was okay. He assured her he would be—and the third time he said it, he almost sounded convincing.” (371) That’s right. Sophie checks on Keefe not once, not twice, but three times to make sure he’s okay. Because . . . his dad’s going to have his memories searched by Fitz. Something that doesn’t even really involve him. But Sophie didn’t show even close to the same level of concern for Fitz, even though he’s clearly going through something with Alvar and Keefe explicitly says he’s feeling a mixture of embarrassment and anger. She doesn’t try to talk to him about it, doesn’t try to make sure he’ll be okay. Nothing. But Keefe has to be pampered and pitied. Of course. It shows another clear prioritization in the narrative of Keefe.
There’s not really a single quote I can pull to show this from Legacy (although there is actually a quote from Flashback page 48 that I have up there somewhere), but Sophie claims she understands all of Keefe’s actions because he’s doing it because of guilt with what happened with his mom. Every reckless decision he’s made was in an attempt to cope with that, right? But now, Fitz is going through the same thing. And not for a single second does Sophie try to apply the same understanding to Fitz about what it must be like to feel guilt and shame over a traitorous family member. Instead, all that spare pity goes to Keefe. The double standards, honestly.
“‘And don’t think I’m going to forget about the E.L. Fudges you owe me,’” (371) It’s a small thing, but Keefe never actually asks Sophie to get him the cookies. He just demands it from her, and now she apparently “owe[s]” them to him. 
“‘I mean, I feel like if there’s one thing Fitzy and I both excel at, it’s making you angry.’” (542) You should never excel at making someone you care about angry. That’s not a good thing. (Yes, this applies to Fitz as well, but at least he always apologizes and makes amends. Keefe, not so much.)
“‘Okay, but just because you guys are smart enough to think of that doesn’t mean the Neverseen are,’ Keefe argued. ‘And even if you’re right, isn’t it worth it to double-check?’” (558) Is he really this stupid. Please tell me this isn’t real. Keefe. This is the Neverseen. Of course they’re smart enough to think of that! They’re always a million steps ahead and for the last seven books, we know that underestimating them leads to terrible things. Keefe’s stupidity is really just so. Ugh. And no. It’s not “worth it” to “double-check” a place where they know the Neverseen frequently go. All Keefe ever wants to do is run straight into danger without a plan and all Sophie (and the narrative) ever does is let him without any consequences. 
“‘Yeah, well, then you proved my mom’s a murderer, so excuse me for freaking out a little,’ Keefe snapped, tearing a hand through his hair.” (559) Freaking out would be understandable. And he is. But Keefe wants to go straight to London to a place where the Neverseen are known to go without a plan just because . . . he thinks it will trigger a memory. No guarantee, he just thinks it will. This guy is so stupid, and I’m so tired of the way everyone in the story (mostly Sophie) just bends to his will. Because it’s Keefe. 
“‘I don’t care about safe or smart right now,’ Keefe added quietly. ‘I care about finding the truth. Just let me walk those streets. That’s all I’m asking.’” (559) No, “all [he’s] asking” is to go to a place where they know the Neverseen go. He also literally admitted that he doesn’t care about safety or being smart. Why the heck does anyone take this guy seriously? He should be put in his place right now, not encouraged. But that’s what the narrative does. Instead of punishing him for his reckless behavior, the narrative instead glorifies it. Not to mention, he’s not supposed to go anywhere the Neverseen could be right now. Because they think they’re trying to kill him. 
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“Mostly, though, she’d seen Keefe like this before—dangling by such a very, very thin thread. There was too high of a risk that it would snap and he’d run off without her.” (560) And when Keefe needs something, everyone needs to bend over backwards to accommodate him. He’s such a spoiled brat and it’s so tiring to watch the narrative justify his actions over and over again. He gets special treatment. As soon as he needs something, even if it goes against every single logical decision that could possibly be made, Sophie will make sure he gets it. Or at least Shannon will. He should not be encouraged, he should be punished for this. 
“‘I know I’ve made huge mistakes in the past, but I’m trying to learn from them—and the last thing I ever want to do is let you down. Okay?’” (568) He says, while going on an excursion to a place where the Neverseen regularly go after blatantly admitting he doesn’t care about safety or being smart. He just wants to get his way. That’s his problem. He’s so emotional, and not at all rational. He can’t see two steps in front of him because all he cares about is himself and what he thinks he can find, and he’s willing to sideline smarter ideas because he still thinks he’s smarter than everyone. So no, he has not learned a single thing. It’s laughable that he thinks he has. And we also get more pedestalization of Sophie, with him saying he never wants to let her down. What about letting Fitz, his best friend, down? What about the rest of their team? What about Mr. Forkle? What about Alden and Della, who he thought of as his own parents? Goodness.
“[ . . . ] she was planning to use midnight as the ‘we need to get home and face the consequences of our actions’ handy cutoff [ . . . ]” (573) It’s worth it to say that Sophie doesn’t want to go to London. She never did. She only goes because Keefe goes, and she knows that he will do something dumb if she is not there to babysit him. She knows it’s a bad choice, but she (rightfully) doesn’t trust Keefe, so she takes the responsibility to make sure they get home safe on herself because she’s knows Keefe will not prioritize that. The fact that she goes is again, another clear show of her lack of faith in Keefe, because all he’s done is do reckless stupid things. To say Sophie trusts Keefe is blatantly false, because if she did, she would not have given into him so easily even though she herself thinks this is a bad idea and she would have trusted that he wouldn’t try to run off himself.
“‘Thanks for the warning, by the way,’ he told Tam. ‘As you can see, it worked super well.’” (579) Keefe is just so. I don’t even have the words. Not only does he not listen to Tam after being warned about a possible attempt on his life, but he literally flaunts his disobedience and stubbornness in Tam’s face. He’s so arrogant, he literally cares about one-upping Tam over the possible attempt on his life. 
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“‘We had her,’ Keefe said again. ‘And Tam would’ve been free if he’d just come with us.’ [ . . . ] Just like she stopped herself from reminding Keefe that when he’d been with the Neverseen, there’d been a moment when he’d chosen to help Alvar escape instead of fleeing with her and her friends. They’d have that conversation later. Once Keefe had calmed down. And once she’d had more time to process what had happened—because even if Tam did have a good reason for what he’d done, it could still end up being the kind of mistake they’d all pay the price for.” (587) Except they never do “have that conversation later”. Shannon loves to drop the ball on important conversations that should take place between Sophie and Keefe in exchange for her forced consolation scenes. Then she says that even if Tam’s “betrayal” had a good reason, they’d still all pay the price. Which she never thinks about when Keefe did a similar thing in Lodestar. She never allows herself to think that Keefe may be in the wrong after Keefe escapes with Alvar and the crystal. Even though Keefe did that of his own free will and Tam was forced. Just. The double standards when it comes to anyone that’s not Keefe. It’s just another example of how the narrative favors Keefe. 
“‘This . . . is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me—by a lot.’” (598) Again, with the pity-partying. I don’t understand why Shannon insists on making Keefe wallow in all this self-pity. He takes any opportunity to remind Sophie of just how terrible his life is, even when it’s not relevant, and then we’re supposed to believe he doesn’t want pity? That’s laughable. Why would he keep saying these things if he didn’t want pity or sympathy? That’s not how that works. Also, this statement is objectively untrue. Alden and Della cared for him as much as they could. All the adults offered their places when he didn’t know where to go. But, once again, Keefe only cares about what Sophie does for him. He takes everything else for granted. It makes him come off as whiny. I think offering your place to stay is a much better favor than getting someone cookies, but okay. Why must he be such a pity magnet?
“‘I mean . . . the next time I see Bangs Boy, I’m going to kick him somewhere extra sensitive.’” (598) For what? For helping Gisela escape? Like Keefe did with Alvar when he was with the Neverseen? Oh, what a hypocrite. By that logic, someone should kick Keefe, since he did much worse things. Here’s a list: compromising Alluveterre, giving up his blood, freeing Alvar (which probably wouldn’t have mattered, given the whole Lumenaria thing, but Keefe didn’t know that at the time), being wrong several times about the Neverseen going after Grady and Edaline, giving up the cache and bringing back fakes, and giving Sophie the tracker that led the Neverseen to her and Fitz. Where’s his punishment for all that? Why is everybody so ready to forgive him? Of course, Sophie doesn’t call Keefe out for any of that despite saying she would not even fifteen pages ago (the quote from two bullet points ago). 
“‘If you have other things to do—’ Keefe tried to tell her. But Sophie shook her head, channeling Sandor when she told him, ‘I go where you go.’” (625) Sophie then sidelines her duties for Keefe’s incredibly stupid mission to find two black bottles from literal years ago. When I say the narrative favors Keefe. This is what I mean. Sophie puts Keefe above her team. She cares more about his ill-fated search for the bottles than she does about her own job. Shannon. Stop acting like everything Sophie does when she blatantly puts Keefe above everything is justified. 
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“‘Uh-uh, Foster. You’re not making me sit all this out.’” (643) Keefe is really so dumb that even now when he has all the information, he still wants to go running straight into danger. And I think this is a good time to talk about one other thing. You can count on two things when it comes to Keefe. One: He’ll always throw a pity party for himself and mope around and whine and cry and be all It’s all my fault, woe is me, and then immediately follow that up with a “I don’t want your pity”, as if that lessens his pity-partying, and two: He’ll always want to be in on the action because he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else, although he’s usually the stupidest person in the room. However, these two things are directly contradictory. If Keefe really thought everything was all his fault, he would volunteer to sit missions out. He would say that he’s a liability and that he’s trying to work on himself and that he wants to make sure he won’t fuck anything else up, so he’d want to sit out things like this to ensure he didn’t mess everything up. That’s how I know he doesn’t actually care about anyone but himself and his wishes, and that he’s just trying to make everyone feel bad for him when he brings up how everything is his fault. If he really did want to change and improve, he’d do some self-reflection, realize he’s always the problem, and tell everyone that he’s going to not go into the field so he doesn't mess everything up like he always does. Yet, he’s the opposite. He always wants to go straight into the action without a thought or plan. When he throws his pity-parties, he never explains to Sophie how he’s going to stop himself from messing everything up again. He just says “I’ll do better, I’m trying to be better”, and then he just leaves it at that. If he truly felt that everything was his fault, he would not always think he’s smarter than everyone and override everyone’s plans with his own. Bottom line is: Keefe’s a massive hypocrite. Every single thing he does or says is in stark contrast to something else he says or does. And the narrative just lets him get away with it, every time. He is so frustrating. 
“‘You won’t be missing out on anything, except watching me fail epically at being Team Valiant’s leader and Fitz’s girlfriend,’ ‘You’re not failing at either of those things,’ Keefe assured her quietly.” (644) Oh, she definitely is. And Keefe is a major part of that, too, because Sophie favors him over everyone, including Fitz and her team. But that’s not his fault, it’s the narrative’s. What is his fault is telling Sophie that she’s not bad at these things. Good friends know when to call out their friends on their bad behavior. They don’t instead tell their friends to stick their head in the sand and ignore it. They don’t pedestalize their friends to such an extent that they are incapable of believing they could ever be in the wrong. This is an extreme example, but if your friend was an alcoholic, would you tell them that everything’s fine and that they aren’t failing miserably at life because they’re drunk before ten in the morning everyday? No, because good friends know when to call their friends out. They don’t encourage it or sugarcoat it. If Keefe would stop pedestalizing Sophie, he would tell her that yes, this is all her fault, actually, and he would assure her that she can still fix her mistakes and might even give her pointers on how to do that. But Sophie is failing at these things. It does nobody any good to pretend she’s not. Navigating this miserable minefield of a forced consolation scene and getting to this quote actually made me put down the book and laugh. Because seriously. How is this real? How?
“And Sophie started to shake her head, but he reached up, gently grabbing her chin.” (644) Another example of Keefe creepily touching Sophie without her permission. It’s not okay, even if they’re close.
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“Sophie closed her eyes, taking a second to remind herself that Fitz had every right to be upset. But for some reason that felt hard to believe at the moment.” (675) There’s no real quote that goes with what I’m about to say, so this’ll have to do. This has more to do with the way Keefe is written rather than the character himself. When Keefe has a reason to go batshit, Sophie’s there with him, usually in an atrociously written forced consolation scene, comforting him and telling him it’s not his fault. When she’s not, the narrative at least justifies his actions a considerable amount. Most other characters don’t get that same treatment. For example, Fitz. Fitz told Sophie and Keefe both (well, actually, it was forced out of him by Keefe, but details, am I right?) that he was searching for Alvar. It’s that same mix of guilt and frustration and anger and embarrassment (the last two are canonically confirmed, page 367, I have the quote up there somewhere) that causes him to embark on this quest. Sound familiar? That’s exactly what Keefe feels with regards to his mom, and his feelings manifest as reckless decisions. They make him stupid. They make him overly emotional. They make him dangerous. And most notably, they make everyone fall over themselves trying to feel sorry for him. Of course, Keefe does deserve some sympathy, but the amount that the narrative showers on him is completely over-the-top. Where is that treatment for Fitz? He embarks on a mission to find Alvar to relieve himself of those same feelings, which isn’t viewed with nearly as much sympathy as Keefe’s reckless decisions to do the same with his mother are viewed with. Then when Keefe and Sophie take over his project and completely screw him over, then literally let Alvar go which is exactly what Fitz has been trying to avoid which they are fully aware of without even getting Fitz’s permission, the narrative makes Fitz out to be the bad person. He’s just trying to do the same thing Keefe is, in a less reckless, dangerous, stupid, and emotional manner, may I add, and he’s instantly villainized for it. How much do you want to bet that if this exact thing had happened except it was with Gisela and Keefe, the narrative would have tripped over itself to justify Keefe’s (rightful) anger? Oh wait . . . it already did. With Tam in London. I almost lost sight of that moment among the mashpot of similar moments that are all designed to heap as much sympathy as possible onto Keefe. That’s what I’m saying. Most people don’t care as much about Fitz’s feelings as they do Keefe’s, not because his feelings aren’t valid, but because the narrative drains any excess sympathy you might feel for him and dumps it all onto Keefe. It’s nothing but biased writing. 
“‘I mean, how hard is it to shape a threat into a clever couplet or two?’” (694) Shannon needs to stop making the same joke about rhyming notes. Also, Keefe once again demonstrates a lack of seriousness during a crisis.
“[ . . . ] ‘you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to let my mom hurt anyone.’” (694) As if he can control who his mom hurts. You would think he would’ve learned that by now, but it’s Keefe. I am not even close to being surprised. Also, another example of a forced consolation scene with no point! Yay!
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“‘Did I not mention?’ Keefe called from somewhere in the shadows. ‘I brought friends.’” (729) Exactly. So he didn’t have to come. He claims he came to help out with an exit strategy using Linh’s dwarven bodyguards, right? So really only Linh was necessary here. Keefe didn’t have to come at all. His excuse was pathetic. He really can’t stay out of the crew’s way, even when everyone, including Keefe himself, agrees that it’s the best plan. But he can’t help but hijack their shared plan for his own. Sound familiar? That’s right, it’s what he did in Nightfall and so many other books and claimed to be learning from. But this right here is proof that he didn’t learn anything. The crew’s entire plan hinged on the fact that Keefe wasn’t going to be in Loamnore. That was the whole point. So by coming, Keefe didn’t just trip up a few small details, he literally ruined their entire plan. He didn’t have to come, he came because he wanted to. Because, once again, he really thinks he’s smarter than everyone. His arrogance never fails to astound me. 
“And she wondered how much it had cost Tam to give her that warning about Keefe. How desperate he’d been to avoid the exact situation they were now in.” (740) And Keefe knew that. He knew exactly what it would mean for him to come to Loamnore after explicitly and clearly being told not to. He’s literally that ungrateful of all the warning attempts, all the ways Tam risked his life to deliver them, and completely takes Tam for granted. He’s a horrible excuse for a person, honestly. 
“‘I know,’ Keefe told him. ‘And I tried to listen.’” (744) What does that even mean??? Excuses, excuses, excuses. He could’ve listened if his head wasn’t so far up his own ass. Once again, the “reason” that Keefe came to Loamnore was because he realized they didn’t have an exit strategy, right? But the exit strategy didn’t need him. It needed Linh’s bodyguards. He was completely and utterly unnecessary.
“Keefe slept through the next day—and Sophie chose to stay in the Healing Center with him.” (774) Which she never does for anybody else. Not Fitz in Neverseen, not Biana in Nightfall. As a matter of fact, she never even checks in with Biana on-page to see how she’s doing after the Nightfall incident. More examples of Sophie and the narrative favoring Keefe to such an extent it’s ridiculous. And of course, Sophie will neglect several things and people because of this. And it’s even worse because Keefe brought this all upon himself, while Biana and Fitz didn’t.
“Victory? Didn’t they care about what happened to Keefe?” (776) The narrative is so caught up in what happened to Keefe that it’s completely biased. What happened in Loamnore was a victory. Everyone survived and Enki was made to pay for what he did. That is literally a victory. But as soon as something bad happens to Keefe, that’s enough to make it so that it’s not??? It’s another example of biased writing. 
“He hadn’t woken up the next day either—the third day—even after Sophie decided to transmit the plea over and over.” (778) Sophie literally stays in the Healing Center for three days to look after Keefe, who’s not even awake for her to talk to or cheer up or anything. So she’s effectively wasting time, but of course the narrative doesn’t see it that way. How else will Keefe get his special treatment? How else will Sophie neglecting everyone for Keefe be justified? It’s honestly such an insult to both Sophie and Keefe as characters. Keefe is favored far too much by the story and it’s very obvious that Sophie would do several things for him that she wouldn’t for anyone else (and vice versa), like stay in the Healing Center with him while he’s unconscious for three days just wasting time. 
Unlocked Part One (Sorry, I only finished everything up until the novella. Part Two coming soon, I guess?):
First of all, I have to say that Keefe’s editing of his file is just ridiculously immature, even for a sixteen(?)-year-old. It’s very obvious that Shannon did this because people like Keefe so much and because she’s trying to make Keefe seem “cooler” and more of a bad boy. Personally, I find the attempt hilariously pathetic, but it probably landed with most people, so. And his edits are so boring and unwitty, too. Typical Keefe.
“SPYBALL APPROVAL: None [BUT I HAVE FRIENDS WITH CONNECTIONS, THAT’S ALL I’M SAYING. . . .]” (92) Why would you. Say that. In an official file. And purposefully cast suspicion on people around you. Why.
“SIGNIFICANT CONNECTIONS: [ . . . ] [SWORN PROTECTOR OF THE MYSTERIOUS MISS F]” (93) I would say this is probably a joke, but given Keefe’s attitude throughout the series, It’s very clear that it’s not. Why would you embarrass yourself like that in an official government file???
“[[ . . . ] SHE THINKS SHE’S WAY SMARTER THAN SHE IS. [ . . . ]]” (93) Oh, I think she’s pretty smart. Gisela’s shown time and time again that she’s capable of outwitting and manipulating people into doing what she wants. Meanwhile, here’s Keefe, a stupid teenager, who, by the way, as of this point hasn’t gotten the better of her even once. So I’m not really sure how much we should be believing this guy.
“[[ . . . ] ‘HE KNOWS FOSTER BETTER THAN YOU DO! BETTER THAN SHE EVEN KNOWS HERSELF’?]” (94) I- I don’t even have the words. This is the cringiest thing I’ve read today. Possibly the cringiest thing I’ve read this year. Why is he saying this weird shit in an official government file??? Is Shannon really that desperate to show us that Keefe has a crush on Sophie??? Also, nobody knows anyone better than they know themself. To say that is to write off someone’s feelings. Sophie will always know Sophie better than Keefe knows Sophie. That’s just how it is. Also, this section is about his empathy, nothing to do with Sophie. But see how his mind jumps right to her and immediately connects her to it? That's a textbook sign of obsession and pedestalization. Sophie has nothing to do with his strong empathy. But he brings her up anyway. That’s not a good thing. 
“[THOUGH . . . KEEPING IT REAL? THE FOSTER OBLIVION CAN BE KINDA NOT COOL SOMETIMES.]” (94) Why the hell would you say that in an official government file??? Also, the fact that he thinks the “Foster Oblivion” is not cool . . . like that’s literally none of his business??? God, I wish people would stop harping on Sophie for being oblivious. It’s literally none of their business and also not a bad thing. Sophie can decide what she wants or doesn’t want to believe.
“[BUT THE REST OF THE STUFF IN THIS SECTION IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GETTING REDACTED. SERIOUSLY—BOUNDARIES, PEOPLE! FOSTER’S AMAZING—AND OBVIOUSLY WORKING WITH ME MAKES HER EVEN MORE AMAZING. . . . ]” (97) First of all, counting out all those Os was hell (there are twenty-two). Shannon really needs to stop doing that. That’s what italics are for. Second of all, “boundaries”? Oh, wow. This is so funny, considering all the times Keefe violates Sophie’s boundaries all the time. So not only does he encroach on her space, now he’s a hypocrite. He (rightfully) thinks it’s weird that the Council have an entire section speculating on their relationship, but then in a previous section he says that the Foster Oblivion can be “kinda not cool sometimes”? What?
[cut because character limit]
“[[ . . . ] FOSTER GETS TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS, OKAY? SHE CAN LIKE WHOEVER SHE WANTS OR BE CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT SHE’S FEELING. SHE CAN EVEN BE OBLIVIOUS—IT’S HER LIFE. HER CHOICE. AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO STAY OUT OF IT.] [EVEN ME.] [ESPECIALLY ME. I WOULD NEVER WANT TO . . . ] [NEVER MIND. MY POINT IS, LET THE POOR GIRL FIGURE THIS OUT ON HER OWN. [ . . . ]]” (98) If you’ve seen withcindy on YouTube, you probably know about the whole “It’s your choice” thing and how Rhysand invented feminism. If you don't, I highly recommend watching her ACOTAR videos. They’re hilarious. Anyway, that’s what immediately came to mind when I read this scene. Aw, how noble Keefe is. I really wish Shannon would stop beating the audience over the head about how good and sweet and pure and selfless and kind and amazing and spectacular and perfect and angelic and endearing Keefe is. Like Shannon, show not tell. Every time Shannon wants us to see how perfect Keefe is, she just makes him spit out some bullshit that nobody would realistically say. Then he just turns around and continues with his shitty actions, and Shannon thinks that makes him the perfect guy. No, it does not. He’s honestly giving fake-woke vibes with this word vomit. You know, the kind of people that say all the right things but never put it into action? That’s Keefe. He claims everyone needs to stay out of her life because it’s her choice, but then he goes around reading her emotions without her permission and extorting information out of her that she isn’t comfortable sharing. What a hypocrite. Honestly, Sophie should be running. He then says to let Sophie figure it all out herself and even he shouldn’t interfere, which directly contradicts all the times he himself interfered and made jokes about Sophie’s romantic life for his own amusement. More hypocrisy! Love this guy.
“[[ . . . ] I DIDN’T FIGURE IT OUT FAST ENOUGH, AND SHE USED ME FOR A WHILE. BUT THAT’S ALL DONE NOW, AND IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I TAKE HER DOWN. LET’S MOVE ON, SHALL WE?]” (98) Here, we have a serious contradiction. We’re constantly told Keefe feels overwhelming guilt at his mother’s betrayal (for what reason, I can’t fathom, but whatever) and that he thinks he messes everything up. But at the same time, he’s also easily able to brush right past it and claim that at some point he will for sure “take her down” (because his arrogance is the only thing that can trump his guilt). 
“[[ . . . ] I REALLY DON’T NEED ANYONE REMINDING FOSTER HOW MAD SHE WAS AT ME. [ . . . ]]” (100) Another example of the section having nothing to do with Sophie (it’s about him becoming a Mercadir), yet Keefe still somehow managing to drag the topic of Sophie’s anger at him into it. She’s on his mind all the time. I cannot emphasize enough how strange it is to think this is a good thing. It’s not romantic, it’s obsessive and borderline creepy. Also, Sophie is not going to read this file. Calm down, Keefe.
“[WHY IS THERE NOT A SECTION ON MY AMAZING HAIR????]” (100) Have some more old-school, cringy Keefe “humor”. Ah, it’s just like the good old days when he would talk about his hair almost non-stop.
[cut because character limit]
“But I was only half listening because she gets this cute little crinkle between her eyebrows when she’s trying to be serious, and it makes me want to reach up and smooth her forehead with my fingertip—and I’m betting she’d think I was super weird if I did that, since it’s not like she’s my . . . ” (481) Yes, this is an actual thing Shannon wrote that got past the editors without anyone dying of cringe. First of all, I hate the way Keefe talks about Sophie. She’s just this soft, kind of ditzy, child-like sort of figure in his head. He admits that he doesn’t care what she has to say, he just cares about how adorable she looks while she says it. This is a textbook sign of a toxic relationship. You should care about what your partner/crush says, because that shows that you see them as a person, not as your personal cover model. Also “trying to be serious” paints Sophie as this impudent little child who’s trying to get the attention of the older, more experienced adults and it very much implies that Sophie is not serious, but awwww, look how cute she looks trying to be serious, isn’t it adorable? Except Keefe and Sophie are the same age. So this is another case of textbook infantilization. I hate how this is made out to be normal and healthy in this series, it makes me so angry. And that last part isn’t anything specifically bad but it reads very oddly and is not at all the way real people think. What the heck.
“Pretty sure I’m just stalling, because this feels kiiiiiiiiiiiinda pointless.” (481) Not a Keefe-specific thing, but Shannon needs to stop stretching out her words like that. Especially since he’s literally writing this. Who writes like that??? Just underline it please, Shannon.
There’s a whole paragraph here on page 482 (if I had a digital copy I would copy-paste it here just to show you how cringy and long it is, but sadly, I don’t) which is clearly Shannon just trying to make Keefe look smart while also rubbing his daddy issues in our faces so we can drown in our pity for him. It’s not funny, which I assume it was meant to be. It comes off really, really cringy.
“I’m sure I’ll be digging into my mess of mommy issues soon enough. For now, let’s get back to the day Daddy Dearest met the Mysterious Miss F, shall we?” (484) Correct me if I’m wrong, but the point is this whole draw-memories-and-write-about-them thing is to try to find stuff Keefe’s mom might have erased from his head, right? So why is he completely sidestepping that very valid quest for a deep-dive into his daddy issues? This is not an issue I have with Keefe the person, but rather the way he’s written. Shannon sidesteps what makes logical sense for the story in order to fluff up the story with more Keefe content. In other words, the story’s coherence and logic is sacrificed for more Keefe page time where it doesn’t make sense. And I’m sick of it. It’s ridiculous, and nothing short of shameless fanservice.
“Once they do, they either feel awkward, or weird, or they start pitying me for having such a horrible family.” (485) Maybe if you wouldn’t talk about it all the time and rub it in people’s faces all the time, people would pity you less, hm? (And I am not saying Keefe shouldn’t talk about it, by the way. I'm just saying talking about it so much is not indicative of a person who wants to repress this or doesn’t want people to pity them. If Keefe truly didn’t want anyone’s pity, he wouldn’t keep bringing up his family all the time when it’s not necessary. But he does. It’s really contradictory. Pick a lane, Shannon.) It’s very clear Shannon only has Keefe constantly talk about how much he hates everyone’s pity because she needs to hide the fact that half the time, he’s the one committing that particular act. 
[cut because character limit]
“Thankfully, Foster didn't do that. She just felt sad—and a little bit indignant. And if I hadn't already known I liked her, I would’ve—” (486) First of all, what? Sophie has pitied Keefe for his horrible family several times over the course of the story. It’s constantly shoved in our face as every single other character takes a backseat in the story because poor, precious Keefe needs his pity from the audience, remember? So he’s not even right. Also, how is feeling sad for someone significantly different than pitying them? In both cases, you understand what the other person’s going through and wish it weren’t that way. You feel sorrow at the other person’s suffering. Pity is bad, but feeling sad for someone is good? What? Shannon’s really out here in the trenches trying to make Sokeefe sail off of weird, irrelevantly tiny details and minute differences like this. Keefe literally says that if he hadn’t already liked her, he would’ve started liking her . . . because of that completely insignificant difference. What. What, what, what. The entire point of this horrifically put-together explanation of the memory is to push Sokeefe. Please, can we please involve Keefe in something that isn’t designed to push Sokeefe? That last sentence . . . nobody talks like that. Certainly nobody writes like that. I think it’s supposed to be cutesy, like awwwww, look at poor Keefe with his adorable crush on Sophie, he’s so down bad, but it comes off so weird.
“[ . . . ] I guess that might’ve also had something to do with the bumps and scrapes and broken ribs I got when Mommy Dearest and her Neverseen buddies showed up and tried to steal Silveny. [ . . . ] But that’s not what this memory was about.” (486-487) Once again, we are veering in the exact opposite direction of what the point of this all is. Why do we care about Sophie and Keefe on an alicorn? What exactly does that have to do with Keefe searching for memories his mom might’ve taken from him? Nothing. It’s just another example of Keefe and Sokeefe being pushed above all sense and logic. It’s ruining the cohesiveness of the story. Why do we care? What is the point? 
“All I did was make a bunch of jokes to distract her—and it was super fun feeling her get all annoyed and embarrassed. I mean, look at that adorable blush! I could see it even with the moonlight washing out most of the color.” (488) Keefe’s thoughts about Sophie are truly heinous. He enjoys annoying her and embarrassing her, even back then, when he didn’t really know her that well? Wow, sign me up! I love it when guys annoy and embarrass me. Makes me feel really great. Definitely makes them well-rounded and grounded in reality. I suppose the comment on Sophie’s blush isn’t infantilization in this case, but the way Shannon tries so hard to push Sokeefe at every moment possible is really grating on me. And that last sentence. Who talks like that??? “I could see it even with the moonlight washing out most of the color” what the heck. Why does he talk so stilted like that??? Who. Talks. Like. This.
[cut because character limit]
“In fact . . . if I’m keeping it real . . . I’m pretty sure that blush is the reason I drew this memory. [ . . . ] That was the first time it felt like . . . maybe I had a tiny shot at making this brave, beautiful, blushing girl like me. [ . . . ] But there’s a teeny, tiny chance. And that’s enough. For now.” (489) This all feels so incredibly forced, like Shannon wants so desperately to show you why Sophie and Keefe would be so good together before she actually puts them together. It’s such an insecure way of writing. You shouldn’t have to spoonfeed your reader with weird rambles to show why a pair clicks. The readers should be able to see that themselves through the genuine, candid interactions you write. Through their dynamic. Through their relationship. But Sophie and Keefe’s relationship is chock full of boundary breaching, constant annoyance and embarrassment, and a lack of trust. So spoonfeeding it is! Also the way Keefe thinks about Sophie is just so. Ew. To me. Like it’s so over-the-top for no reason. Nobody thinks like this, even about their crush, even about their long-term crush, even about their long-term crush who they really, really, really like. I cannot believe this got past the editors, I am dying of cringe here. Also, I really wish Keefe would stop tacking “for now” at the end every time he talks about who Sophie will pick, because it really undercuts his supposed support for her choices. What, sometime in the future, he’ll feel like a chance isn’t enough? That’s what that “for now” is giving.
Keefe: I don’t want your pity. Also Keefe: “It’s super, super fun to be me, isn’t it?” (491) (Yes, I am aware that he said this in a private journal. But he says plenty of stuff like this out loud, too. So yeah, he really is just an overhyped pity magnet.)
“Any trust I was supposed to earn from handing over Kenric’s cache vanished the second Sophie did. And I knew the Neverseen were never going to trust me.” (494) He knew that from the start? And didn’t just leave after that? He knew his plan was hopeless and still went along with it. I know I’m beating a dead horse but somehow this makes his plan even stupider than it already was, which is pretty stupid. He literally knew his plan was bullshit. And he still did it. Because he wanted to “save[] the day and fix[] everything” (493). What the heck. Keefe is just. I don’t know how this is a real character. He is just so infuriatingly stupid, I’m actually speechless.
“And I’m pretty lucky no one got seriously hurt, and that Foster forgave me. I wasn't sure if she would.” (494) She really shouldn’t have, not without some serious work on Keefe’s part to gain her trust back. And what has he done since then? Oh, right, he’s hijacked their shared plans, refused good medical advice until he was forced to, extorted her feelings out of her, spilled personal secrets, and not agreed to stay away from the Neverseen when they thought they were specifically gunning for him. Where has he ever done anything to show even the slightest bit of development? He’s basically the same Keefe. No growth, no change. It really is a miracle that Sophie forgave him. Oh, wait, no it’s not. Because Shannon’s writing the series, and she needs Sokeefe to happen. Right. I forgot.
[cut because character limit]
“Sometimes I still worry that some tiny part of her holds it against me. That she’ll never fully trust me. That she’ll always see me as the guy who betrayed her and stole from her and ran off with the enemy.” (494) This would be really cool to explore if it was actually done. Sophie holding this against Keefe and struggling with that in the aftermath of Lodestar would be an awesome way to develop their relationship and have them overcome that hurdle and give them both some much needed development. But we know that aside from a single line at the beginning of Nightfall, Sophie never really blames Keefe. She just immediately forgives him for his time with the Neverseen. It’s pathetic writing. Something like that should have consequences. But it doesn’t, because then our poor Keefe will have to be *gasp* villainized. There could be this whole arc about how Sophie doesn’t trust Keefe the same and it impacts their relationship subtly and both of them feel it but don’t want to talk about it and it’s this giant, gaping hole. Then finally there’s a climax where Keefe confronts her about it and maybe she yells at him and he agrees that he’ll do anything to get her trust back. Then he does it. He does the smart thing, takes the smart advice. And he learns. He understands what he did was wrong and is truly a different person now. Honestly, the fact that Shannon explained this out shows me that she’s aware the possibility of this arc exists, but unfortunately, didn’t actually put it into action. Would it have been the most original conflict ever? No. But it would’ve been much better than whatever this dumpster fire of a lack of an arc she actually wrote is. I think I might’ve genuinely enjoyed Sophie and Keefe as a couple if she’d just made them have some distrust that they overcome through genuine work and growth.
“I make myself remember that expression every time I have to be around Fitzphie. It stops me from screaming, DON’T PICK HIM—PICK ME. [ . . . ] I did that. Not sure I deserve to be forgiven.” (494-495) One thing I really don’t get is why we need this commentary. Half the actual novella is written from Keefe’s perspective. I’m sure Shannon could’ve snuck in something to this effect into his actual inner monologue. Instead, we get this incredibly unsubtle, beating-over-the-head of a pity party. The implication here is that Keefe feels if he hadn’t made so many mistakes, he would’ve been a better partner for Sophie than Fitz, which is not his right to decide. Even if Keefe was a perfect angel who’d never made any mistake ever in his life, Sophie still has the right to choose who she wants to be with. Being a perfect person doesn’t automatically make you entitled to a romantic relationship. So the fact that Keefe thinks this is just so icky and gross. Seriously, the only thing stopping him from being unsupportive of Sophie and Fitz’s relationship (who are his friends, may I add) is the reminder of his own mistake? So if he hadn’t made that mistake he would shamelessly think he was a better choice for Sophie? This is borderline “nice guy” behavior. Then at the end he throws himself a pity-party as a little cherry on top, but of course he doesn’t actually think that, because if he was truly worried about whether he should be forgiven or not he would try to be better. Listen more. Deflate his head a little. Stop thinking he’s the smartest one in the room all the time. But he doesn’t, because he doesn’t care. He is a walking contradiction, the definition of a hypocrite. He annoys the shit out of me.
Also this memory contributed nothing to finding his erased memories and was instead just another vehicle to beat us over the head with Sokeefe content, which makes the Everblaze memory the only one that has actual significance to the task at hand so far.
[cut because character limit]
“I almost lost her. And if I had, it would’ve been all my fault. All of this is my . . . ” (497) Keefe go one page without throwing yourself a pity-party challenge (impossible). Seriously, instead of blaming himself for things that are his fault and that he can learn and grow from, he blames himself for this??? I don’t know how Shannon is even coming up with this stuff. But how are we going to get our pity-parties, no matter how little they make sense, if she doesn’t pull drama out of her ass? Also, once again, this memory has nothing to do with Lady Gisela or Keefe’s erased memories or anything to do with his condition at all.
“That’s been my plan for a long time—and not because I don’t think she can take care of herself. Because she shouldn’t have to. She’s dealing with enough pressure and responsibility and people trying to kill her. If there’s anything I can do to make things easier for her, I’ll do it. No matter what.” (499) I really wish Shannon would stop beating us over the head with all the reasons Sophie and Keefe are perfect for each other. Stop spoonfeeding us, Shannon. If they really do go together well, we’d be able to see it from their bond with each other. We don’t need to have all the reasons they should be together listed out in front of us like we’re reading a textbook. Shannon makes Keefe say all the perfect relationship green flags, as if any normal person talks, writes, or even thinks like this. This is an amazing example of Shannon’s tendency to tell, not show. Now that we’ve covered the tell, let’s talk about the show. Keefe feels the need to take care of Sophie because “she shouldn’t have to”. Okay, but that goes beyond just her physical health. What about all the times she’s wondered what stupid shit he’s going to do next and worried about him? What about her constant need to babysit him so he doesn’t do something dumb? What about the fact that she’s started giving into his plans because she knows she can’t stop him (when they go to London, for example)? Does he care about her enough to think about how his decisions might affect her? Is he even really taking care of her in any effective way? Oh, and this next part actually made me laugh out loud. Sophie’s dealing with so much pressure and responsibility, what if I made that worse by constantly doing stupid things and making her not trust that I’ll listen to good advice? What if I made that worse by making her constantly worry about me because she can’t trust that I’ll do the smart thing? “No matter what”, my ass. If Sophie asks him to sit something out, he doesn’t. If Sophie asks him to obey good medical advice, he won’t. If Sophie comes up with a plan with the group, he ruins it. He’s clearly not willing to do even the most basic things for her. Again, telling us this doesn’t make it true, Shannon. If you look at Keefe’s actions throughout the story, they tell a very different story. When has Keefe ever done anything to make Sophie’s life easier?
Also, this is another memory that doesn’t add anything to Keefe trying to trigger his lost memories. Just more Sokeefe propaganda. Yes, I’m calling it propaganda, because as I’ve hopefully made painfully clear, often the things we’re being told in this commentary thing don’t align with Keefe’s actions throughout the story.
[cut because character limit]
“Or the fact that I was only there because Alden basically asked me to join Team Fitzphie. (Yeah, I know. I wanted to say no. But I said yes for her. She deserves to decide what she wants—even if it’s not me.)” (500) Even if it’s not you? How generous of you to make that clear, Keefe. Sure, Keefe’s above the bar, but the bar’s in hell, so I don’t really know how much that means. Also, he only came because of Sophie? Sophie? The trial wasn’t even personal for her. It was personal for Fitz, his supposed best friend, and Biana, who he apparently thinks of as a sister. And he came for Sophie? Keefe’s gargantuan tendency to pedestalize Sophie and revolve every single one of his decisions around her strikes yet again. He wanted to say no, and the thought of Sophie changed his mind. Sophie. Not Fitz and Biana, for whom this would certainly be a strenuous occasion. Sophie. Goodness. 
“Pretty sure that’s what my mom is counting on. . . . And before I go any farther down that depressing thought-path, let’s move on.” (501) Isn’t that the point, though? To think about his mom and try to see if that triggers anything important? He really should go down that path. Why does Shannon keep sidestepping the actually valuable point of this exercise in favor of . . . whatever the heck it is that I’m reading???
“Pretty sure that proves this project is a waste of time. It hasn’t triggered any new memories. I haven’t learned anything new about stellarlune, or those humans my mom killed, or the letter I delivered, or anything else. Seems like a pretty epic fail. But what else is new?” (502-503) No??? Keefe cannot be this dumb. I refuse to believe it. Maybe the reason the project failed was because . . . none of the memories you chose were of your mom or anything to do with her projects, with the exception of the third and last one, and in those cases the connections to the behind-the-scenes of his mom’s projects were so vague that it’s hard to get anything solid. We know for a fact that Keefe drew the human guy holding the letter. Why didn’t Keefe try to write about that? That actually has a connection to his mom’s project. Same things with the shattered memory they discovered. The memory he remembered about his mom using a starstone to leap to Nightfall. The memory of his mom talking to Brant and Alvar. Anything actually connected to what he’s trying to find. No shit you aren’t going to remember stuff about stellarlune if you draw and write about riding an alicorn with your crush. Are we being for real right now??? And yeah, Shannon could’ve done any of the things I just described. This Keefe-draws-his-memories-and-comments-on-them concept is actually a great idea, Shannon just used it in the worst way possible: to push Sokeefe instead of actually using it for its intended purpose. Imagine how cool it could’ve been if we got a drawing and commentary on the letter or the starstone, or even anything Keefe may have seen during his time with the Neverseen. This is such a waste of potential it pains me. I really wish Shannon would stop sacrificing logic for the love triangle. It’s ruining the story.
Congratulations, you made it to the end. That must've taken you at least a few hours. Go drink some water. I'm going to make a Part Two after Unraveled's release, so. That's a thing.
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ot3 · 19 days
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A while back there was a post going around about how you shouldn’t rate or leave negative comments in your bookmark tags on ao3 because the author could see it. But it kinda shows a weird discrepancy where the diehard fanfic folk want fanfic to be seen as a legitimate art form but also can’t handle criticism of it because “it’s for fun.” Anyway there’s fanfic I like but don’t think is particularly well done and I don’t think I can ever comment that without getting eaten alive on ao3
To add onto my last ask about criticism on fanfic. I think ultimately any piece of art you put out to the world is going to be criticized no matter what. And as any artist or writer you should probably prepare for that
i definitely agree that anything public is subject to criticism but i dont think that necessarily means it's a free for all. my stance in the case of hobbyist works is that you're allowed to be as critical as you like in your own spaces but if you're somehere where the creator is almost guarantee to see it, that's just kind of a dick move more than anything else. i dont think fanfiction is beyond criticism at all and am in fact constantly bitching about how i also think its almost all bad. but i also don't think its really productive or cathartic in any way to say this to peoples 'faces' so to speak.
i'm not super familiar with the ao3 bookmark system so i don't really know what the etiquette there but maybe its kind of analogous to tumblr tags, in the effect that it's supposed to be Your commentary and Your organization system but also op also has immediate access to it. i definitely don't think you should go around tagging people's art just to rag on it, so i dont think i'm super in favor for doing that in bookmarks either.
its lke if you were someone who doesnt exercise a lot and you got into jogging would you want some sort of Running Expert filming a tiktok directly next to you about how your form could be improved? i don't really think it would matter how constructive or well intentioned they were it would still probably kinda feel like shit. but then on the flipside i think they have a right to go home and post to their #RunningTok or whatever the fuck about how they hate these annoying mistakes beginners always make.
i agree that 'any artist or writer' should be prepared to deal with a level of negative feedback for their work. and the people who turn around and write a post about how fanfiction is important and transformative queer art one moment then follow it up with a post about how if you ever have anything bad to say it you're just being a nasty little hater and need to shut up are ridiculous. The 'let people enjoy things' crowd are easily one of the worst demographics on this website. But i think the level of negative feedback an artist or writer should be prepared to deal with is vastly different in the case of people who are Creating as their profession vs people who are doing it as hobbyists.
the amount of people who think they fanfiction theyre producing is Groundbreaking Literature and deserves to be lauded as such while also demanding no critique are a small but vocal minority. one that pretty much 1:1 overlaps with people who view Fandom as an identity rather than an activity. the rest are like... teens just starting to dabble with narrative writing or people with day jobs who think its fun to do every now and then.
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funishment-time · 4 days
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Munakata: "I can't believe there are still people who celebrate my birthday like this. I thought I had nothing left after I lost them. But I have to keep fighting. This is the least I can do to atone for not being able to save them. But I have no intention of being forgiven. This is just atonement. I will continue to live and make amends for them."
and...oh my god 🧵 Tsumugi:
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Shirogane: "These days, people have started cosplaying casually and without any sense of guilt. Yes, I think that's totally fine. Cosplay doesn't require any permission or license, so I think people should just enjoy it however they want. But, if you're going out in public dressed like that, I think you should be careful and considerate. Oh, I don't mean to be nagging or anything. I'm not complaining, I agree that I don't like nagging old timers. I also think it's weird that there are annoying otaku who always find fault with people, yeah. Oh, speaking of annoying otaku, I'm not really comfortable with the term world otaku. Whether it's a compliment or an insult, isn't it weird to put levels on the depth of love? I think everyone should love in their own way. Isn't it a bit old-fashioned to put a label on it? All you need to do is savor the things you find precious and feel happy. Is there really a need to put a label on the depth of it? That's what I'm saying. This community is a bit like that, isn't it? It's freedom that transcends age and borders, so it's kind of old-fashioned and exclusive. Well, I guess that's what I'd say, but still, it goes back to the point about the need for consideration for others. But. Ah, maybe saying it's necessary is an exaggeration. That would be like imposing something on others. I think it's better to have it, but it's just my personal opinion. So that everyone can continue to enjoy it freely. Of course, I think it's fine if some people ignore opinions like this. That's also a personal freedom. Well, what I'm trying to say is that it's fine if you're just enjoying your cosplay by yourself, but if you go out in public with it, other people will know that you're expressing that character, so I think there should be a minimum of consideration there. For example, if it's arranged in an excessively revealing way, don't you think people who genuinely like that character will feel a little awkward? It's not very pleasant to have a third party who doesn't like your favorite character look at you in that way. Ah, I don't mean to make a definitive statement. I'm just talking about my own case. Well, but I think that there should be a little consideration that there is at least one person who thinks that way. Of course, it's up to that person to ignore it even if they understand, and other people have no right to stop them from doing so. Well, it's fine if everyone can enjoy it, including cosplay and fan activities. Ultimately, it's something we do because we love it. It's not good for everyone to fight. It's just people who love it. So, in conclusion, I'm going back to what I said at the beginning, but I think it's a great thing that people have become more casual about cosplaying recently. That's why I wanted to tell you that in the beginning. Yeah. That's how it is."
...i think this was longer than nagito's manifesto this year
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kingdomhate · 1 month
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First Date Scenarios!
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Kylo Ren: Despite everything you think, Kylo Ren is a romantic. Maybe not a complete romantic, but he finds himself attracted like a magnet to wine and deep conversations. Once he sat down, at the very console that commandeered his ship, run by tech savvy officers, his gaze lingered on you, intensely. Sure, he made no real effort to dress up in a tuxedo or anything, but he was drawn to how you dressed yourself. It accentuated features about you he overlooked.
He thought you were beautiful in your most bare form, however, it seems like you radiated in this dimly lit room, and you were unaware of how he had to force himself not to stare at you. "So, Y\N. Let's start with your favorite food?" Kylo spoke out, his voice soft like a whisper but curious as a cat. Your eyes met his, sipping your wine slowly. The interest he had in yours burned almost as bright as your own.
You go on to tell him your favorite foods, colors, movies, shows and whatever else comes to either of your heads, and he shares the same. You two chat for hours, the wine bottle drains quickly and it's like you both are insatiable, it is only when one of his Admirals pops in to tell him that it is past midnight and his presence is needed somewhere else that Ren is forced out of the conversation to realize the time is way past midnight. He turned to you and walked with you a bit.
"Tonight was fun. Can we do it again, if you don't mind?" He expresses as he stops in front of you. "I really enjoyed speaking to you." You beam at him, nonverbally communicating you agreed it was a great time. Almost fictional. "Yes, of course!" Kylo donned a little smile, before you walked over to him and planted a sweet kiss to his cheek, fleeting but even after you pulled away, he could feel your soft lips on his skin. It caused his skin to heat up, and a blush to sneak up and attack his cheek and neck. You chuckle at him and tease him about it before he ultimately had to leave. His gaze was soft when he began walking to where he was needed, and directed to the floor. He felt like a schoolboy.
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Anakin Skywalker: Anakin had so much planned for this date. He was determined to indulge the soft side of himself and planned a walk to a special place. He came by to pick you up in his speeder, the sky bleeding into ethereal shades of orange, pink and hints of purple as a deep shade of midnight blue planted traces of its color on the horizon, threatening to overtake the sky in time. "Hey, angel. Ready for a ride?" He asks, that grin, borderline cocky that always made you laugh because of how stupidly beautiful it was, captivating your attention before his words.
You couldn't ever deny yourself the butterflies that fluttered around wildly in your stomach at those soft and damn near seductive nicknames he had for you, they managed to make your knees weak everytime. "Obviously." You snicker, getting in. Anakin glances down at your clothing, he likes how well you pick out your outfits. It was one of the first things that enticed his fascination to about you, initially. "So... where are we going, Ani?" You inquire and he smirks. "For a little walk, princess."
As you got to Anakin's house, you were a bit perplexed. "Why are we-" Before you could finish, Anakin shushed you and went over to you, helping you get out. You both walked around a bit, and Anakin asked you questions about yourself, and vice versa. You found yourself smiling and laughing a lot, and he told a lot of stories about his Jedi life. It genuinely interested you what that life holds, and what could drive a man like Anakin, talented, charismatic and shamelessly gorgeous to chose that path. "Because I've always looked up to Jedi and the Jedi Order. My mom and I were slaves, and when Qui-Gon and Master Kenobi showed up, it amplified that admiration. Especially when Qui-Gon told me I had that potential to be what I wanted to be. It's a kid's dream to be like someone they idolize and it's difficult to describe that joy I felt when he told me I could be like him."
You process that for a few minutes, and you both stay in silence as you do. "Close your eyes." Anakin says softly, you look at him for a moment before doing as he said. You can hear his footsteps rushing to do something and then coming back to your side. "There." You open your eyes slowly to find a dazzling display of a version of a Protocol Droid. "What...?" You speak, completely at a loss for words. Anakin laughs, and rolls his eyes playfully.
"For you. He hasn't been activated yet. I made him not too long ago. I can show you how to work him, if you want. But yeah, he's all yours." Your head whips around to Anakin, his arms crossed over his chest in that confident pose. He nods to confirm that he is not lying and the droid is yours. You laugh awkwardly as you approach the droid. Anakin makes a few movements and the Droid turns on. "I am E-5O, Human-Cyborg Relations." You were at a genuine loss for words. But moved to hug Anakin tight to yourself and he hugged back immediately.
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