#unfortunately i wasn't able to process a lot of what was talked about him because of what preceded it

[endlesslytired]

So WOW. So much. So so much. Mei ritual accidentally went overdrive.

Bonus: That scene.

[icypopz]

when their s/o gets injured ♡

↬ request from anon ; could I request the NXX boys with a s/o who received the injury while they were away and how would they take care of them during their healing process?

↬ notes ; artem wing (zuo ran), luke pearce (xia yan), marius von hagen (lu jinghe), vyn richter (mo yi) x gn!reader

↬ from ice ; hihi!! unfortunately i was quite busy this week so i wasn't as active 😵 also as someone who's often in hospital i rly related to this request :') but anyways i hope you enjoy!

↬ warning(s) ; reader has an unspecified injury to their foot, artem + luke carry reader (but they're crazy strong so they can def lift u up dw)

please reblog ! it helps a lot :)

[ artem wing / zuo ran ! ]

as soon as artem heard that you were injured, he would want to drop everything he was doing and rush to be by your side at once. unfortunately, reality means that he can't just ditch his job, so he finishes his work so quickly that even celestine is surprised and he heads home at once.

upon seeing the state of your foot and the way you wince in pain as you try to hobble towards him and greet him, artem lifts you up like you weigh nothing and brings you straight to the bedroom. he surrounds you with a million pillows and if necessary, elevates your foot with a stack of cushions too. for the entire time that you're injured, artem applies for permission to work at home, and he'll be by your side day and night. whatever you need, he'll get it for you at once so you don't even have to lift a finger.

when he realises that you're feeling upset about your injury, artem would hold your palm in his, gently squeezing your hand as he listens to you talk about your worries. he understands that such a sudden injury can be earthshaking, especially when it results in such a loss of autonomy. but artem wants you to know that he'll be with you every step of the way until and after you're 100% healed.

more content utc !

[ luke pearce / xia yan ! ]

luke would be working at the antique store when you call him and tell him you've injured your foot while at work. his first emotion is complete and utter panic, he can't lose you again- but then he snaps back into focus and tells you he'll be on the way immediately. he grabs a bunch of things that might be helpful like an ice pack, bandages and cotton pads before driving to your workplace at lightning speed (he definitely runs a couple of red lights in his hurry).

once luke brings you home, he won't even hear one single word about how you want to help him, or how he shouldn't worry too much about you. he'll just carry you and lay you down on the sofa, putting on your favourite tv show to help pass the time while he goes to prepare a meal for you. he does his best to keep you as involved as possible, asking you about which spices you want, and walking to the couch just to give you a taste test. at that point you both remember that he's terrible at cooking, so you settle for ordering takeout instead LOL.

throughout the course of your recovery, luke flits about you like a worried butterfly. he doesn't want you to strain yourself, so even when you're taking your first few steps again, luke is the one who looks like he's going to pass out from nervousness. if you ever tell him that you feel like a burden because you aren't able to do anything for now, luke will reassure you with soft kisses and whispered words of comfort. as someone with a chronic illness, he understands how useless you can feel when you're bedridden, so he knows just what to say to help you feel better.

[ marius von hagen / lu jinghe ! ]

marius is actually the bane of his directors' existence. the second you call him and tell him you're injured, he dismisses everyone in the meeting room, muttering something about rescheduling it to another day. he leaves everything up to poor vincent, who's forced to deal with the wrath of the old men on the board of directors. marius drives way over the speed limit back home, and he doesn't care at all about the accumulated speed tickets he's going to have to pay - nothing is more important than getting to you asap.

once he's got you tucked into bed and is convinced that you aren't in mortal danger, marius is soo dramatic about the whole thing it's almost as if he's the one that's injured. "but i was so worried about you! you almost drove me to an early grave, is that what you want, mx lawyer?!" he clutches his heart and stumbles around the room, which at least succeeds in cheering you up a little. unfortunately, marius can't skip out on work to be with you because pax would probably fall apart in two seconds without him at the wheel, so he relies on payton to give you everything you need (it shows how much he trusts his butler that he even entrusts your safety to him).

marius would spend as much time with you as he could, always cuddled up next to you and resting his head in the crook of your neck as you thread your hands through his hair. he'll talk about everything under the sun, hoping it distracts you from your pain. when you confess that you've been feeling down because of your injury, marius comforts you the best way he can, letting you vent as much as you need to get everything off your chest. after that he tells you that he'll treat you like royalty every day if it means that you'll feel less bad about him doing it while you're injured.

[ vyn richter / mo yi ! ]

one of the perks of running your own workplace is that you can do whatever you want, and that is exactly what vyn does. when he hears you're injured, he informs his receptionist that he'll be unavailable for the next few days except for patients with extremely urgent needs that can't be handled by the nurses. with that out of the way, he calls ogier and drives home at once, not caring how many traffic lights he ignores.

anyone who saw vyn at the time might say that he was unbothered about your injury upon looking at the way he calmly handled the situation, merely asking you what happened and checking the prescribed medications. but you know better, because you notice all the small details about him that no one else would; the way his usually flawless hair is now messy, or how his eyes flicker to you every second as if you're going to disappear into thin air, or the way his hand is ever so slightly trembling as he holds onto you so tightly.

as a psychiatrist, vyn can spot the signs of how upset you are before you say anything, but he waits for you to tell him first because he doesn't want to put any pressure on you. when you open up to him, vyn isn't judgemental at all, he listens to you carefully and reminds you that your feelings are valid. after all, it must have been incredibly difficult for you to cope with such an unexpected injury, and he's so proud of you for being so strong. vyn would help you start to walk again, and the look in his eyes when you take your first few steps on your own almost makes the whole thing worth it.

✧ thank you for reading ! if you have a request, feel free to send it in 🌠

© icypopz 2024. do not repost or modify in any way.

[skellyflowers]

Tour Bus Cuddles

Masterlist

Phantom x reader 

The European leg of the tour has been going fantastic so far. I was excited to be on the road and get the opportunity to travel around. However no one mentioned how hard being a Tour Manager Assistant would be! 

When Phantom dragged me into Brother Kevin’s office to nominate me as the new assistant I thought he was being a clingy boyfriend. He told me that he would miss me. I would miss him too. I was going to work on a schedule for us to still be able to still talk while he was gone. I wasn't expecting this. When Phantom first mentioned Kevin needing an assistant it was during our pillow talk so I didn’t take him too seriously.

I was surprised that Kevin made me his new tour assistant, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was because of how hard headed Phantom is. Kevin has me in charge of checking in the band at any hotel we stay at, ensuring the Green room has what the ghouls need and running last minute errands. 

However this show is in the biggest arena so far. So I have to cover way more ground than before helping the ghouls and completing my pre-show checklist. And to make things more complex two of the main stage speakers have been damaged. Lucky us the crew as backup speakers, they are not as loud but they are just as good. Unfortunately for me that means I need to help load the new speakers off the crew truck and bring them half a mile from the parking lot to the arena. 

When it is time for a sound check I can’t feel my arms and can barely pay attention to what the merch team is telling me. It doesn’t help that Phantom likes to keep me up after shows and work out his leftover adrenaline. I love him and we always have a great time together but it is going to be hard to do my job if I can’t feel both my arms and legs.

I’m in the Green room sitting on the couch when the ghouls come back after they finish the sound check. Phantom closes in on me and sits in my lap like a little cat. He starts to purr like one too. I smile at his actions and start to scratch at one of his horns, he starts to purr even louder.

“I missed you babe.” Phantom says.

“It’s only been 30 minutes, Bat.”

“30 minutes too long.” he pouts, cuddling into my neck.

“GET THAT CUTE SHIT OUT OF HERE!” Dew yells, startling me.

“Shut up, like you aren't going to come to me and beg for attention.” Rain says, rolling his eyes.

Phantom doesn’t get off my lap until it is time for the ghouls to get on stage and Mountain picks him up. We hold hands and walk from the Green Room to backstage and give a kiss before he gets on stage to the screaming crowd.

The show is amazing, just as all the others have been. When the final bow is taken and Papa has said the last goodnight I help the crew take down the stage and pack up so we can get on the road as soon as we can. The process is smooth and we are able to pack up the crew bus in under an hour. A new personal record.

When I get on the ghouls’ bus I am exhausted. I am happy to be the first on the bus tonight. Papa could herd the ghouls perfectly without my help but I felt a little guilty about texting him that I went straight to the bus and crawled into the first unclaimed bunk I found. Ghoul shepherding is part of my job.

I started to fall asleep when I heard the bus door open and close. I hear footsteps shuffle around until they stop in front of the bunk row I am in. I also hear sniffing? The curtain separating me from the mystery ghoul in the bus slowly opens. I’m surprised that I see Phantom, eyes bright and tail wagging.

“This spot taken?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

I let out a quiet giggle and scoot back as much as I can. Phantom gets a big smile on his face and crawls in next to me. He turns my body so he can be the big spoon, his second favorite cuddling position. If it was always up to him I would be laying on top of him at all times. I find his hand and lace our fingers together and he starts purring against my back and plants a kiss on my neck.

“Did you have fun at the concert?” I ask.

“It was fun, Swiss fell off his stage. But I missed you.”

“Maybe if you teach me to play the guitar Papa will add me to the band.” I said as a joke.

“That’s a great idea. We can start tomorrow.”

“You are so silly, Bat.”

“It is a good idea. We could spend more time together.”

“You never leave me alone. You're the reason I got this job.”

“And I will never give you a moment's peace.” He says, giving me a squeeze.

“We can talk about it in the morning.” I say, with a yawn. “Love you Phantom.”

“I love you too, My Angel.” kissing the back of my head.

I let his purring lull me to sleep as the other ghouls get on the bus and settle in for the overnight drive to the next sold out area.

[sharkboywrites]

"You're Just a Boy, You Are No Man, And Nobody You Know Will Understand"

Twst staff finding out stealth ftm reader is trans (platonic)

Reader is a trans man and implied to pass, misgendering, mentions of dysphoria and periods

A/N: Back with a part two to this post after the poll came out mostly positive. I really love the staff taking on a parental role to Yuu/player, its just so sweet.

Dire Crowley

Getting teleported to twisted Wonderland was a very difficult experience, and of first the first person you met, and the one causing most of the problems for you, was Crowley. As the headmage of the school, he had to do something with you and generally take care of you. it was only a matter of time before you had to tell him the truth.

This doesn't mean you avoided the inevitable conversation as much you could. You were able to go a few weeks without running into an issue, that being the dreadful natural process that comes once every month.

While you could run to Sam, there was the small issue of the right clothes to wear, after all boxers won't really cut it in this situation, so unfortunately you had to go to Crowley for the right things to wear.

It was definitely an uncomfortable situation , sitting in Crowley's office, having to explain the situation to him. He was also, clearly, made a bit uncomfortable by the situation, but as headmage of the school, it was his job to provide you with what you needed.

you could already sense that dreaded feeling coming in the back of your throat as you explained. You really didn't want to cry in front of him, it was embarrassing, but there was really nothing you could do to stop it. In all honesty, Crowley doesn't know how to react in this situation, he's not really good with comforting and all that, so he isn't sure what to do once you get up and leave once the conversation, tears threatening to pour from your eyes.

You do find the next day, however, the clothes you requested, although you're decently sure he made a guess on the sizing, and a small chocolate bar. A small note sat with the items, reading "You've been excused of all chores for this week, take the break you need". Truly a bird dad at heart, even when he's not good with the talking part.

Divus Crewel

While Crewel can be seen as, well, cruel, he's taken a liking to you as you've made your way into Night Raven College. Now obviously he hadn't thought much of Crowley, knowing he did the bare minimum keeping you at the school, but he didn't expect this.

Other than your school uniform and the clothes you showed up in, you really didn't have anything else to wear, and he was not having it. Of course once he found out he dragged you to the nearest clothing store. Caught up in his anger and disappointment with Crowley, he didn't see how nervous you actually were about getting new clothes.

It wasn't until you had to make decisions did he pick up on your hesitation. he was a bit pushy with trying to get you to pick out things, but it wasn't until it came to trying thing on he realized just why you were so hesitant about this whole thing. It really all had clicked the moment you had to actually try things on, but he had reassured you that everything was fine and took a different approach.

He started to prioritize clothes that would make you feel comfortable over the ones he thought looked fashionable, although don't doubt for a second fashion won't still be considered.

Once you're all done you've got a new wardrobe and Crewel understands you a lot better. After this there's very clear favoritism once in the classroom now, which Ace will complain about until the day he dies. But that's alright, it's worth it to put with the complaining now that Crewel's you're new dad figure who's willing to do anything to make you feel comfortable with the other boys

Mozus Trein

Out of all the staff at Night Raven College, professor Trein is the most of a dad, quite literally, after all he had three daughters. Because of this, he can pick up on those small things that make you different from the other male students at Night Raven College. While he had his assumptions, he never outright said anything. He decided it was none of his business, and that if you wanted him to know, you would come to him instead.

it was during one of his classes that he noticed you seemed really uncomfortable. Not just uncomfortable physically, but mentally. It looked like you were ready to burst into tears with one wrong move. When class ended, he told you to stay after.

In that moment it felt like everything had gotten so much worse. Had you messed up? Were you in trouble? That's really not something you could handle right now. but to your surprise, he asked if you were alright instead.

You couldn't help when you started to cry a bit at that moment, although you did your best to hold back as much of it as you could. this caught him off guard, he didn't want you to cry. After reassuring you that it was alright, you explained to him what was going on. You told him how you were trans, how you were trying so hard to hide it, and how dysphoria had really been eating away at you ever since you got there.

Fortunately, when raising his own daughters Trein had to comfort them plenty, so he was able to calm you down enough to once again reassure you that everything would be alright. He told you that if you had any issues, to come to him and that he wouldn't tell anyone if you didn't want to. if you wanted the rest of staff to know, he'd help you slowly come out.

After that, he's very attentive to you in class, always making sure you seem alright. He really just wans you to be okay, even if he doesn't know that much about being queer. he starts to see you as one of his kids, and he wants to protect and help you in any way he can.

Ashton Vargas

Out of all the teachers you weren't very exited to learn about your identity, it was Vargas. He's like the average intimidating man that you're not sure if you want him to know you're queer. his reaction would either be super supportive, or he'd be the most transphobic person you'd ever met. teaching gym, it was inevitable that he would eventually find out you were trans.

When it came to locker rooms, it was really a challenge. there was no way you could change with the rest of the guys, they'd figure it out in seconds, and no you can't get out of changing for gym. So you had to go to Vargas to ask if there was somewhere else you would be able to change. Of course, he made you explain. it wasn't in a mean way, but he wants to push every student to being the best version of themselves, and being too scared to change in a locker room was not going to help that, a least according to him.

So, you had to tell him. You explained to him that you were trans and not only were you not comfortable changing with the rest of the boys, it would be unsafe for you if in the room with the wrong person. he's very taken aback by this. he probably isn't the type of teacher to think about students being queer, not in a homophobic way, just not something he generally thought about. So he offered to let you use one of the bathrooms nearby, as long as you didn't tell anybody about it.

This does not mean, however, that he'll suddenly go easy on you. you're still expected to do the same exercises as the rest of the boys. you are a boy and therefore will be pushed just as hard as the rest of them. Sorry, no getting out of that one. Vargas doesn't really see you any differently. You're still one of his students and need to be pushed to your limits, no matter how much you may dislike it. In fact, this makes him even harder on you. he's strict about making sure you don't exercise in a binder and gives you work outs that would make you more physically masculine.

So congratulations, you're given even more work than all the other students, but it's in good intentions from Vargas.

Sam

In the end, it was inevitable that you would also have to go to Sam at some point. I mean those period products aren't gonna buy themselves. Even though it wasn't really an ideal situation, Sam seemed like the person who'd you'd rather come out to than everyone else.

He's a bit odd, but he doesn't seem like the type to be judgmental, although he might bug you a little bit about it, not in a mean way though, the way he does to everybody. He's a bit of a sassy guy and that isn't going to stop for you.

When you first ask if he has anything that could help, he simply laughs. yes, it's an odd request that he wasn't expecting, but of course he has some. In fact, he even has enough for you to pick out a preferred size of whatever it was that you wanted.

he doesn't tell anyone if you don't want him to, although when you show up, with friends or not, he'll make a few sly jokes about it. Not enough to out you, just enough to let you know that he knows, and it doesn't bother him at all.

this took me a lot longer than I thought I would, probably because I kept goofing off and getting on my phone instead of writing. I feel like Sam's part is really short but at this point I'm pretty tired and need a hot chocolate lol. ty for reading and have a nice day <3

[imagine-shenanigans]

I'm getting back into the swing of things for writing, so here's some random safe for work headcanons because I've been reading an obscene amount of x reader content (Please go check out Aggre(g/v)ation by llama goddess, and Saving Three Ex-cell-ent skeletons by recklessly caffeinated on ao3 because I got brain worms babey.)

Also since its been awhile since I've written something on this blog, remember that these are stream of consciousness teehee <3

(General tws: references (but not explicitly said) to past consumption of humans, ED/Disordered eating and mental health issues, au-typical violence references, etc)

Word Count: 2.2k words ish

.

Horrortale!Sans (Skull) x Reader Misc SFW Headcanons

My favorite thing is when people portray sans in any light as either Just A Little Guy or as Fuckin Huge and Skull is a Big Boy <333 he's easily 7 feet tall, and Built Fucking Different.

Monsters can't like, completely and utterly alter the type of monster they are, so you won't see a Bunny Monster turn into a Moldsmal but its very widely understood that magic reflects the soul reflects the mind reflects the body - so its not really something where monsters experience dysphoria as much? Like if a monster is afab, but realizes they're trans and a guy, it may take awhile to transition - and they may need some help via magic other than their own - but it's really normal in comparison.

Unfortunately, the positive aspects of the whole "mind/soul/body" equation in that you'll eventually look how you want so long as you put the effort into changing every day can also be blocked by trauma and "scarring" to the soul. It's pretty rare in the canon universe, but for Horrortale monsters its damn near exclusive - when you have to do anything you can to survive, adaptation to your environment makes you a hell of a lot scarier in compenstation.

Skull is one such monster where if it weren't for his injury, he'd be a complete 180 from the typical monsters you see. But because of it, it makes it harder to control his magic because he can't think straight. It takes him longer to form sentences, takes him longer to process words sometimes, or even read. He gets light sensitivity really bad, and because his body change wasn't by his choice, but by an unfortunate way of being injured while in a traumatic situation, Skull, no matter how much better he gets, will never fully go back to what he was before.

He's extremely self-conscious about his size and his looks, not to mention his mental capacity. He knows and can think about what he's doing, his mind has never lost that sharpness or intellect. He can strip a machine down to parts and put it back together or put it to other use in minutes, but if you ask him to write it down or explain it he's going to have one hell of a time and he'll probably leave the experience worse than he went into it.

Similarly, if he does want to talk, in one of his rare moods where he's explaining what he's doing out loud to you, he could go on for hours, but suddenly hit a block where the words don't work right.

Be patient with him when this happens. He doesn't like it, and even though it can be frustrating at times, like if you're trying to decide something for dinner or write up a grocery list, he really is doing his best.

Sign language is a good alternative when the words don't want to come out but he's still able to communicate - writing can be one sided, but sometimes thats all he can do too.

When an idea strikes the both of you one day to just draw what he's thinking, Skull could fucking kiss you senseless when you hand him a white board and a dry erase marker. Words may not be making sense in his brain but he can picture what he wants in those moments so this is the perfect compromise between the two for communication.

Skull is his name now, so even though he was once Sans, Skull is what he picked as the reclamation of all that's happened to him. A name that he picked to get him through it day by day but its also a reminder of where he's been and where he'll go. That said... it's also a name he initially picked as a form of self harm to some degree, a mocking reference to his own injury that hindered him.

So while he'll probably never change his name again... he appreciates it when you call him pet names. It's a reminder that you love him enough to do so, while also giving himself a break from the constant reminder. He particularly loves when you call him your "Big old teddy bear" because... god he does not feel like it sometimes.

Get it its a reference to some of the fandom calling him Bear and I love that name for him a lot too

Due to the past, he has some Big Issues With Food, constantly bouncing back and forth between feast and famine.

He has some issues with meat at times - on bad days certain textures and tastes just remind him of the bad times in his life where survival was such a tightrope walk that just imagining eating it makes him sick.

A very "safe food" house, where the two of you stock up on your safe foods and have a cupboard dedicated to it for days you can't stand anything else.

Some days, Skull is content for the two of you to eat at the kitchen table or to watch TV in the living room while you two eat from separate bowls/plates, and he can eat fairly freely, not particularly caring who eats how much or in what order.

Others... other days he anxiously watches to make sure you've had a serving before he gets his, or, more likely, he brings the full pan/a single platter to the table, and the two of you share the same food, taking bites in turn so he can make sure you're getting enough to eat.

King of cooking. It makes him feel better to have full say of what goes into the meals, and honestly the man is an excellent cook. If you insist on helping him cook, it's a 50/50 on whether he gives you this smug little smile and sets you up on the counter top so he can look at you while he cooks, or if he actually lets you help.

He feels out of control if he can't cook, so even on special occasions he's still going to be cooking himself, unless you feel the Urge To Cook or you two order out.

Even then, please just go over with him what you did step by step and tell him what fully went in it - he trusts you implicitly and he's unlikely to outright ask... but it always helps ease his mind when you walk him through what you did just so he can feel less guilty.

Cuddler.

Big fucking cuddler.

Sitting on the couch alone? Not for long. Skull appears? Bam. you're in his lap, his claws smoothing across your skin and through your hair, purring up a storm as he settles his chin on the top of your head and closes his eyes.

If you're watching TV, he's only ever going to pay half attention if he's got you in his lap, half-snoozing in a very light doze as he basks in your presence, and half listening for danger/to the TV depending on the day.

He ADORES when you read to him. He loves it when you talk, and when he gets to listen to storytime while you talk? Best. Day. Ever.

Loves how small you are in comparison to him - something he never thought he'd be comfortable with at first, just based on the idea alone, but in practice he loves being completely wrapped around you and making sure you're safe. You're his personal teddy bear, no matter how many times you call him that yourself.

Jetpacking/Him being the little spoon is... unlikely. He's got some damn broad shoulders and chest, and he's not super happy with the idea of your limbs inside of him no matter if its on purpose or not.

If you want to hold him, he's definitely okay with that (although he does prefer to hold you) as long as you're touching him. You'll just have to let him set his head in your lap, or rest against your chest as he snuggles you chest to... well not chest, so more chest-to-skull and chest-to-legs with how he holds you. He's very beefy and has presence but he's about half the weight most people expect, despite the fact that it should be obvious because he's a skeleton.

He lets out the most broken whimper-whine-purr when you gently kiss the cracks on his skull, close to the gaping wound there. Don't actually touch inside or press too close to the wound itself, because that's genuinely very uncomfortable in the way it would be if he were human and had a missing eye and you touched the inside of the socket to see what it felt like. Just overall a bad experience so Don't Do That No Matter What The Intrusive Thoughts Say, although he'd let you do it in a heartbeat if you asked him

Absolutely whipped. Skull will do anything and everything you say if you just look at him just like that - just like he's your everything, like you love him without bounds and without exception. Puppy eyes also work.

He's a goddamn simp is what he is,

You'll just be minding your own business and you'll look over and catch him staring at you like you've hung the moon and the stars just to provide him with a small amount of your light during the nighttime. He looks at you with such adoration that it hurts.

Sometimes it looks a little freaky like, before you've come to automatically understand his expressions but goddamnit its so hard not to fall in love with him even just by a little more when he loves you so fucking much.

Kissies? Kissies for Skull? Please?

man FIENDS for kissies.

Once he's more comfortable giving affection unprompted you can barely keep his fucking hands off of you. He goes from "I Can And Will Nuzzle You And Pull You Into My Lap But That's It" to "No Kissies? No Snuggles? No Love For Skull? Oh! Jail! Jail For Datemate! Jail For Datemate For One Thousand Years!"

He straight up just hangs off of your clothing while staring at you until you give him a kiss or a hug. He'll come up to you and just bury his face into your neck while purring, or nuzzle your hair, but then moments later pout at you while wrapping his arms around your middle and burying his face into your stomach until you give up whatever youre doing and pay attention to him.

He doesn't do it often But By God Does He Get His Way When He Does.

He's also the type to just like, spend the entire day giving you small pecks on the lips and cheeks and forehead, and then snuggle you at night, and then the next day he'll be way less clingy. You take it in stride and then he just out of the blue dips you in the fucking moonlight and kisses you senseless.

The bastard.

Circling back to pet names, he thinks the nickname Teddybear/Bear is cute and he likes it, but call him My Love/Love/Dear Heart/something else dripping with affection and he's cupping your face in his hands and staring at you adoringly while he rubs your cheek with his claw.

Surprise him with new ones and he'll turn positively blue in the face while smiling like a fool

Surprise him with silly ones and he'll be even more in love while laughing. call him your little chicken nugget and he cant stop smiling and chuckling for a few hours. God. He'll dream of kissing you under the moonlight if you make a pun out of it.

(Brief aside here so I can avoid the text character limit "per block" but I prefer doing bullet point lists for these so anyway continue on)

Pet names always depend on the person, so whatever his one for you depends on you as a person (thats the easy way out for me) but he prefers just one pet name. (Aside from like. Babe being thrown in sometimes yknow)

He'll start with one pet name and see how you react to it - he prefers cute ones like Kitten, Bunny, Lovebird, etc. Something small and cute and adorable - though he changes it up depending on what you respond best to, because while the majority of the reason he calls you a pet name is out of affection, he still calls you pet names to see you get flustered.

On days he's feeling better, he gets more sassy he's gonna include more puns. Or teasing. Example - if he calls you lovebird, or some sort of bird-based nickname? Fuckin. He's calling you pigeon to see how you react.

Bunny? Hare-brain

Kitten? Fuzzball

If its an animal/bird/etc that he calls you in terms of nicknames, he might even refer to you as the scientific name of the animal, or a breed in that category because he thinks its funny to watch you fully stop in your tracks and process what he's just said.

Picks you up at any given opportunity.

Puddle? Oh dear, he should make sure your shoes don't get wet. Better princess carry you.

About to miss an appointment? Thrown over a shoulder.

Just feels like it? Get Scooped Idiot. Okay i have Way More Thoughts but I'm already at 2k because I have no impulse control so byeeeee come request more xreader stuff from me

[goodluckclove]

Storytime: Holy Shit Going No Contact Was A Really Good Idea, Actually

TW: offhanded mentions for abuse and neglect, general parental bullshit

Okay so people were saying they're down for this so here I go.

A little context for those who don't know: I'm an adult child of pretty severe emotional and psychological abuse, as well as like comical degrees of neglect that I've been making up for over the course of the past year for so. I say "comical" not because it's funny, but because if it was depicted in like a YA novel critics would pan it for being unrealistic. My mom convinced me that doctors don't actually like it when you get checkups and get mad at you for "wasting their time", so I didn't see a doctor for like eight or so years. That's on the low end of how fucked these people are. My parents are both alcoholics and my mom is a diagnosed narcissist (she doesn't know this, but I do because my long-time psychologist was her psychologist first before she decided she was "done with therapy". He told me this after like four years as a part of his attempt to get me to realize I was in a deeply fucked situation, ultimately saving my life in a very literal sense - but that's another story). I'm not saying you can't be both of those things and not be a good person, but I am saying she did not choose to go down that particular path.

I went no contact shortly after I got married to a person who was able to see that my parents were both pretty mean to me most of the time in ways I forced myself to process as humor. They sent like one weird card before we moved and now they don't have my new address or phone number.

Unfortunately I'll still occasionally hear random updates about them - mainly from my older sister, who was the object of my mom's obsessive, manipulative, parent-ifying "love" before she left home at 18 and I became the new Golden Goose. I don't like this. I wish she would stop doing this. I asked her before, but I guess she forgot. Or maybe part of the shell shock from the damage of our childhood is that she just needs to tell someone who would understand in a more primal way than her fiancee. I don't know. She pretty much raised me when I was younger so I guess this is what I'm giving her in return.

A couple of days ago she called me and casually mentioned the latest scrambling my parents are doing. They're moving in with my grandma so she can keep living in the home she raised her family in. They're not kicking out my autistic brother anymore, they're actually bringing him with them. I don't think he has a choice. They're also bringing the family dog they've neglected even worse than they did me, despite how my grandma absolutely insisted she would never want a pet. They're going to turn my kind of run-down childhood home into a rental for extra income. My parents are landlords to be. Cool cool cool.

A lot of this is about money. I have never been comfortable talking about money - probably more so than other people. I never had it explained to me. It wasn't displayed or handled in a way that made sense in my mind. My mom complained and lamented about bills to me all the time but she also had maybe four Prada purses. It didn't make sense.

Something she told me a lot about were the details of my grandmother's will - like, from as young as maybe 16. My grandma is indeterminately wealthy in a way I don't really understand and can barely even guesstimate. She owns her own house, remodeled it, bought my uncle a house, bought my childhood home when my parents almost got kicked out and they paid her the mortgage ever since. She paid for all my siblings (except for me since I dropped out) to go to college. She has an amount of money. I have no idea how much since she's pretty buttoned up - loving, but reserved - which I was told is just a generational thing for some Japanese people. I mean she has the right. She spent like a year or two in a concentration camp as a little girl, she has the fucking right.

But yeah I was told more than a few times that I have a big inheritance for after grandma dies. My mom never told me how much but stressed that it was a lot. I didn't really know why she was telling me this. I actually felt like she shouldn't be telling me this. It made me feel sad and dirty to hear her describe it as something I should be excited for. She also mentioned a lot that I was the only grandchild in the will, and not my three step-siblings that I've known since birth.

Once again - this was NOT something I wanted to know. I had no idea what to do with that information. I tried not to think about it.

Fast forward a couple of years and I'm married and we just bought a house. So before you officially buy a house there's a point where an inspector looks everything over and gives you the details - you know, so you can make an informed decision. The inspection we got for the first house we almost bought informed us that the whole thing was hand-renovated and pretty much fucked to the point where if we bought it we'd have to replace the walls. We didn't buy that house.

The inspector for the second house we loved confirmed it was old. Most of the houses in Portland are old. But it seemed pretty much fine. The only issue was some moss on the roof and a few loose shingles, he said. So we bought it.

Turns out the roof is not good. It's very not good. And we have to replace it before October or else we'll lose our home insurance, and ultimately the home itself. Stressful! I found a pretty knowledgeable roofer and he quotes 14k for the treatment. Add that to the 10k we were already planning on spending on refinancing - a separate financial obstacle course for home owners that Riley was pursuing, since the fiances are their domain - and we were both at a loss as to what to do.

Ultimately I reluctantly decide to see if my grandma would give me part of my inheritance early. Or all of it? I debate how to phrase it for a night. I didnt want to assume how much she was planning on leaving me. I didn't really like to think about how she left specifically me anything in terms of money.

But that didn't end up being an issue! Because when I called my grandma and explained the situation, how we were hit with like three major financial blows back to back and were just hoping to get some aid until things stabilized in a few months, she casually mentioned that I'm actually not in her will. None of the grandkids are!

I immediately stammered out a series of no no nevermind then, but she stopped me and explained how she has a "small emergency fund" for situations like this and asks how much I needed. I say I'm not comfortable with that, but she won't drop the subject. She says the roof is 14k so she'll just give me that. She says 14k won't be a dent in her "small emergency fund". I have absolutely no idea what my grandma's financial situation is.

Did you know if you're given only Goodwill clothes for all of your formative years you're likely to be unable to buy new clothes at even a Target without feeling lost and sick to your stomach? Did you know that if you take Lithium they won't let you sell your blood? Do you know the easiest ways to shoplift food?

I don't think my grandma knows any of that and at this point I don't want to tell her.

I accept the check. I thank her. Riley thanks her. We both cry a lot for a lot of the morning because this is just a lot and it's very confusing. Riley says they've never accepted that amount of money before and would never imagine it coming from a family member. I say my grandma has been doing shit like this for my whole life.

But in the back of my head I'm reeling. I don't consider myself a materialistic person, but I can't help but ask why did my mom lie to me? Why did she lie, and continue to push the lie even when she saw it made me uncomfortable? Why did she bring it up when I'd get mad at my siblings as a way to force me to put aside my feelings?

It's just such a random thing to make up and double down on. Triple down, even. And I understand this whole mess comes from a pretty lucky position - we were able to buy a house and get financial aid to keep the house at a crucial time. That's lucky. We're really lucky. But why the fuck was she keeping up this bit for so long?

She could've never mentioned it and I wouldn't be upset about not being in the will. Frankly I probably wouldn't notice. But holy shit I carried so much stress for years over being the one grandchildren in the will that I had no clue how to navigate. I debated telling my siblings but after all of us were told that we should consider ourselves blood-related, hearing that our own grandmother drew a distinction sounded devastating.

I can't think of a reason why my mom would push a lie this random but so big for so long. It wasn't for me, clearly. I'm not upset that I'm not going to get a fucking jackpot when my grandma dies. I was never really able to wrap my mind around that being a thing. I'm just fucking baffled that my mom was so completely delusional for my whole life and I just followed along for so long.

So long! I was so unbelievably loyal to her despite every attempt she made to drag me into the void. The day before I got married I was telling her over video call that I didn't have a right to be unhappy not working while I recovered from my first major medication shift in years. She said, even though I am the only child of four to pay rent in their own apartment, that I should be grateful for my soon-to-be wife because "without them I'd be homeless".

Fuck that. Fuck that and fuck her. With the stories I have I could ruin my parents in my extended family's eyes forever. The only thing that keeps me from doing that is knowing that it would hurt my Grandma more to know that she wasn't able to step in while it was actually happening. And she's done so much for me and our family that I don't want her to carry that in the end of her life.

It was one lie that really made me realize some things, though. The best thing I ever did for myself was cut contact with my parents. If I didn't cut contact - if I didn't move states - I would almost guaranteed be dead. This is not an exaggeration. It was fucking messy.

But I got out. I have a wife and a few close friends, a roof over my head and some cats darting around my feet. Before we moved I was terrified of my parents showing up at our old apartment. I used to spiral imagining mom screaming outside the door. I tried to plan with Riley what we'd do if that happened. One night I claimed I wanted to take a boxing class "so I can know what it feels like to get really hit and I won't be afraid of it anymore".

I'm not scared now. These are sick people and I've spent more than enough time lamenting how awful my life would be if I continued not noticing that. I was thinking my mom was unable to perceive me as my own person, and now I'm convinced she never saw me or my sister as people at all. We were just little dollies she could whisper all her traumas to.

I hope my sister cuts contact too. I told her about the will thing and said that I'm pretty sure my parents would use that as a way to keep relationships with their remaining children. I said she should probably consider that if she decides to cut ties.

Honestly, I won't blame her if she does that and decides to stay in contact. It's a hard world out there. But I hope she does anyway. She just bought a house too and is about to get married to a man with a family infinitely more loving than ours ever was. I tell her to consider them her family. After the shit she's seen that's the least she deserves.

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Wrong One

Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Reader met Steve while he was on the run and stuck by him through everything. Until he saw Peggy Carter again.

6. Real Life

Warnings: swearing, angst

A few months after she left the compound Y/N was settled into her Queens brownstone that Pepper helped her buy. They had kept in touch but Y/N made Pepper promise not to tell Steve, Bucky or Sam because she knew that the first would find out if the latter two did. Pepper and Morgan were all that she had now, except for the life quickly growing inside her.

Helen Cho was her doctor since the baby was half super soldier and she had experience with the enhanced.

Y/N looked like she was near term even though she was only 5 months and they were expecting to have to perform a c-section well before her 9th month.

Y/N went to her favorite ice cream parlor in Brooklyn, annoyed that it was their only shop. Steve had taken her there many times when they lived in the compound and while the memories made her sad, she'd been craving their ice cream for weeks and couldn't stand it any more. She tried other brands but none of them lived up to this shop. Unfortunately she was too far away to have it delivered so  decided to take the train instead of dealing with traffic and parking. At least it was mid day so the subway wasn't too crowded and she was able to sit comfortably.

When the train made it to her stop she slowly climbed the stairs up to the sidewalk and stopped for a minute to catch her breath then went 2 blocks to her destination.

The owner welcomed her back, made a cone for her to sit and enjoy while they packed her half a gallon of their ultra chocolate decadence, into her insulated bag. They chatted for a bit about nothing important until some customers came in and they said goodbye.

When Y/N stood up to leave she grabbed her purse and her ice cream then turned around and bumped into something solid. She felt strong hands hold her upper arms to steady her. One of those hands was cooler than the other but it took her a minute to process that.

She shook her head "I'm so sorry, fuck." Mumbling "so damn clumsy anymore, I-"

"Y/N?"

She jumped hearing her name in a familiar voice, then cussed softly "fuck." and cleared her throat, forcing a strained smile before she looked at him

"Hi Bucky, how have you been?"

Bucky nodded "I've been good." He looked her obviously pregnant body over, then looked her in the eyes with his brow raised questioningly "So, uh, what's new?" He chuckled

She felt her face heat up "Oh, you know just had a craving so had to run to my favorite ice cream shop. He used to bring me here."

"Yeah, it's still owned by the same family we knew as kids." Bucky rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably

"You know, He still talks about you a lot. Keeps asking me to bring you to visit but yeah." He smiled sadly at her "You changed your number?"

"I'm sorry Bucky, I know he's your friend but I really don't want to talk to or about him." She sighed "I needed some space."

"I understand but is it his?"

She snapped at him "She is mine. He made his choice to desert me. To be nothing more than a sperm donor." She took a deep breath and fixed her smile "I need to get home before my ice cream melts."

She sighed "I'd rather you didn't mention that you saw me to Steve but I know that's unlikely. I know you guys can probably get my information with a couple of key strokes but before you do please consider that I left and changed my number so maybe some respect for what I want or need is called for. See you around Barnes."

Bucky felt awful for what she was going through, all alone. He just stood there watching her walk away, admiring her curves. He didn't understand how Steve could leave a woman like that, even without a kid, but Steve was never logical when it came to Peggy Carter.

Bucky knew he probably shouldn't but looked her up and checked out the neighborhood where she lived. He told himself that it was just because Steve asked him to keep an eye on her, that he just wanted her to be safe and happy but he knew better. He knew he should tell Steve, he knew his friend had a right to know Y/N was pregnant with his kid but was conflicted. She had been through enough thanks to Steve and Bucky didn't want to be one more person who betrayed or left her.

Bucky had been jealous of the woman Steve was always talking about on the phone, when Bucky was still in Wakanda.

He was a little in love with her based on Steve's descriptions alone. The stories of how she helped Steve after the Snap were heartwarming and Bucky wanted someone that made him feel that way.

Y/N had definitely made him feel some kind of way the day they met but with the fight that was barreling down at them he brushed it off so he could focus.

He was losing that focus.

A couple of weeks after Bucky saw Y/N he still hadn't figured it out and was aimlessly flipping channels when he came across the story about the new Captain America, holding the shield that Sam had 'retired' and thoughts of Y/N were pushed out by his anger.

While Bucky was arguing with Sam about the shield his phone rang, Steve. He sent it to voicemail and put the phone back in his pocket.

Sam looked at him "Steve?" Bucky nodded. Sam shook his head "Since when do you reject his calls?" Bucky shrugged.

Sam shook his head "Well, he's worried about you. Told me it's been more than 2 weeks since you spoke. So, what's going on?"

Bucky sighed "I saw Y/N. A couple of weeks ago."

Sam looked at him "And?"

Bucky huffed "And she asked me not to tell him. He asks about her every time I talk to him and I don't like lying to him." He paused, thinking.

"I get that you're trying to honor her wishes but just telling him you saw her and she's fine isn't a betrayal. She is fine, right?" Sam thought for a moment "Shit, she has a new boyfriend, doesn't she? Look man, it's great that you want to spare his feelings but he knew it would happen, he made his choice."

Bucky shook his head "No she doesn't have a boyfriend."

Sam raised his eyebrows and grinned "She got a girlfriend?"

Bucky scoffed "Jesus Sam are you 12? No she doesn't have a girlfriend. At least not that she told me about." He sighed "Look, just drop it."

Sam's smile fell "sorry man but you know you can talk to me if you need to. Anytime." He pushed a little "Like right now is good, I'm all ears because I-"

Bucky shook his head "She's pregnant ok! You just keep going until I want to hit you."

Sam's eyes grew wide and his jaw dropped "What do you mean she's pregnant? How-. Is it?"

"I'm pretty sure you know how and yes, she said it's Steve's. She is Steve's."

"Buck, you gotta tell him. He has the right to know about his kid."

"Yeah and then Steve will stick his dumb ass into things and put her through more drama which is bad for her and the baby. We should just leave her alone."

He declared confidently when he wasn't sure he could do that.

He wanted to take care of her and her baby. Then get married and make more.

That thought hit him upside the head.

That's when he realized he was in love with her.

Y/N on the other hand had been in a near constant state of anxiety after seeing Bucky. If Steve found out she was pregnant he would try to force his way back in her life and if he pushed the issue no judge would rule against Captain America. She'd be lucky if she ever saw her baby again.

She started looking into moving somewhere else, somewhere far. She thought about going back to Ireland but he would think about it too.

After scouring the web for ideas she realized she couldn't go very far. Her baby could show up anytime now and she was a higher risk for complications with a super soldier baby. She needed to stay close to Helen Cho and Starks state of the art med bay.

After all those years moving about the world she was stuck here. At least for now. Even if Steve found out, she wasn't going to give up her baby, not without a fight.

Sam was stressed. Besides all the bullshit with the Flag Smashers and faux Captain America, he still wasn't sure what to do about what Bucky had told him.

He had plans to have lunch with Steve but didn't know how to get through that without Steve realizing he's hiding something.

A few hours later and Sam was pissed. At himself, one damn beer and he's spilling secrets like a mean girl.

Steve was angry too "What the Hell do you mean she's pregnant?" He shook his head "Doesn't matter if she is, can't be mine."

He thought for a minute "When did Bucky tell you?"

Sam looked away from Steve's accusing eyes "last week."

Steve clenched his fists "And when did Bucky see her?"

Sam sighed "a couple of weeks before that."

Steve's face hardened and his voice, cold "I want her contact information yesterday!"

Chapter 7

[hamliet]

Anon who talked about book 7 of TGCF here! I unfortunately will only have book 8 available this February :') once I get my hands on it I will review it here like I did for the last books if you don't mind! Meanwhile, I still have a lot of thoughts on TGCF, and I hope I don't bother you with how long this ask is 😅

I've seen an interpretation online of the bamboo-hat scene in book 6 in which it says that XL would've never ended up as White No-Face's successor even if the bamboo hat guy didn't appear, because it isn't in XL's nature to do something so destructive and evil. Is it bad that I think think this interpretation diminishes the impact the bamboo-hat scene has for me? Because to me what made that scene so great was the fact that kindness was indeed able to change someone at their worst and by consequence bring out their best self. Hell, what makes the conflict between JW and XL so interesting to me is because XL could've indeed become like him had he not received kindness in his darkest moments, and by consequence JW could've been like XL under the right circumstances. "XL is just naturally gooder™ than JW" is not exactly an interpretation I like, and I think it may even contradict the message of other character arcs in the story as well. HC was saved by the kindness he received from XL, and thus became devoted to him. When HX chose his revenge over his friendship with SQX, it didn't satisfy him, and it even made him more miserable, as he lost his only friend in the process. Guzi, by loving QR unconditionally and genuinely as his son, ended up bringing up to the surface a side of QR that perhaps not even QR knew he had, and it moved his heart enough that he ended up sacrificing himself to save Guzi in turn. QYZ became attached to YY because he showed him compassion when everyone else dismissed him and thought of him as nothing more than a brute. I could go on and on. In other MXTX's books there's also a big emphasis on the impact kindness and genuine connection can have on people. WWX could've easily become a XY or a JGY had he been raised in different circumstances. Hell, the constrast between Bingmei and Bingge hinges on the fact that Bingmei was shown kindness while Bingge wasn't, and the difference between them is of day and night.

Usually they mention the quote "What matters is 'you' and not the state of you.", and that part where HC knew XL wasn't the one who did the guilded banquet Massacre, but I didn't exactly interpret these quotes to mean that XL is naturally good™ in a way that he's able to do no big evil, but rather that he's naturally good in a sense that evil isn't something natural to him, even if he participates in it, which is a theme that can also be seen in characters like JW, HX and QR, who became who they are due to the circumstances in their life shaping them into who they became. It's even highlighted that QR used to be a shy and sweet kid until his environment raised him into a monster. Evil isn't natural but rather something slowly molded by circumstances is how I interpreted it. And as for the Guilded Massacre, it's more that HC saw XL rejecting cursing Yong'an after the bamboo-hat scene and thus rejecting White No-Face's philosophy precisely because it was proven wrong in his eyes, and therefore it would make no sense for XL to be responsible for the guilded banquet massacre later on.

Of course I could be completely wrong in my interpretation, but this is what I picked up while reading the novel. Maybe it's my bias against the immobility of the self? Once again I'm sorry for the wall of text, it's just that I have a lot of thoughts about the way MXTX's books handle the impact that kindness and connection have on the self. I also really like your theories and interpretations not only on MXTX's novels, but for other works as well (I'll only be able to read the ones on JW next month in order to avoid spoilers unfortunately)!

No, I completely agree with you. Actually, I'd go so far as to say that's misreading the story, and the ending--without spoilers--makes this textually explicit. Like, it literally says, not symbolically but directly, that the point is that Xie Lian could have become just like Jun Wu.

So, they're not just misinterpreting, they're misreading. I'm guessing theses are the same kinds of people who think MDZS's message is WWX=good JGY=bad, honestly, when again that means that you're missing the point of the story. (Good point about Luo Binghe, as well!)

To return to TGCF, Hua Cheng's "what matters is you and not the state of you" has nothing at all to do with Xie Lian being a "good" person. In fact, Hua Cheng is pretty explicitly amoral. He's loyal to Xie Lian because Xie Lian was kind to him and he fell in love with him. It does not matter to him whether Xie Lian does good or does bad; that's the point of Wu Ming. It only matters to him that he is Xie Lian, and Xie Lian told him he mattered and did not deserve to be treated as he was being treated.

Of course, one could counter that love itself is a moral virtue, so thereby it saves Hua Cheng and the whole world, but that's for another time haha.

And, of course, please do continue to share your thoughts!!

[smallnico]

oooh a good wyll analysis we are eating good today. thank you so much I am chomping and gnawing and chewing. Wyll is such a great character and he had sooo much potential, but unfortunately -gestures at games- thank you for putting things down into words it was a delight to read ^^

i've got more in the tank probably! any one of the people i talk to normally will tell you that i can go on and on and on with very little prompting.

speaking of wyll's confidence issues (apropos of the ask that sparked this), you get some interesting dialogue options as him that drive them home in a way. a lot of the wyll-exclusive dialogue options you have in the grove during a wyll origin run can be summarized as like, "bluster and self-hype for the sake of projecting confidence" (very Yes It Is Me, Spiderman, Have No Fear, You Can Be A Hero Like Me) that really makes you understand why lae'zel tends to get on his ass for self-centredness or hypocrisy, as well as the option of dialogue that seems, conversely, uncharacteristically self-effacing, like "oh i have no idea what you're talking about, how did you know who i am, i have no idea what to say".

i like to interpret alternative dialogue options for origin characters (including durge at times) as like, things that genuinely occur to the character to say, things that they are tempted to think or speak into being. a part of wyll exists that is so willing to fake it til he makes it for the love and confidence of the people of the sword coast that he's willing to accuse that one tiefling (the one with the bugbear assassin and the soul coin) of like, daring to presume that one as noble as the blade of frontiers would Ever consort with devils, like full defensive gaslighting style. the man believes himself fundamentally incapable of both working with devils and being worthy of love or trust or acclaim. the other converse response in that exchange is "what? how did you know about that?" which, smooth one there, mr. of frontiers. but it catches him so off guard, that dialogue option really belies the fear that exists of being discovered as a 'fraud', the fear that also would prompt the aforementioned bluster and lying. (shoutout also to auntie ethel's vicious mockery calling him the "fraud of frontiers", as well as "daddy's regret". ouch.)

and why shouldn't it make him afraid? man was driven out of the only home he's ever known, away from the father he Still idolizes and looks up to, unable to explain his own actions. i also would start to feel like the truth wasn't enough, that maybe i didn't deserve grace, that there was no excuse for being what i am. it can cause real psychological harm to someone, not being able to explain themselves or their experiences to another person -- it takes away from a person's ability to process their memories, because the memories are just... trapped in your brain's own echo chamber of fear and regret and self-doubt. like maybe it Didn't need to happen that way. maybe i Was jawing at the mouth to make a devil deal. maybe there really Is no excuse for what i did. maybe tiamat Wasn't rising. maybe the whole thing didn't happen at all. like. being able to have someone else listen to the story and go "wyll, truly, it sounds like you could not have had a more noble reason to sell your soul to the hells. i wish you hadn't had to sell your limited time on toril to the hells, too" was probably a Moment In Time for him. like hey i'm not sure that i believe that yet but it does feel good to be able to talk about it and to hear those words. maybe i Am just a good man because i'm trying. maybe i Don't have to punish myself forever to prove it.

there's also something to be said and dissected about how florrick, when you rescue her from the inn, says something like "i know you probably hold little love for your father now but" and wyll has no option to rebut that point, even though the internal narration and essentially all evidence is like "of course you love your father. he cast you out but you know how important he is to the people of baldur's gate, and to you. he's a hero. he's the hero you may never truly be". and it's just so fucked up how so many of the voices that influence wyll's moral compass are the same ones that end up making him think like he somehow isn't worthy or able to do something like care about his dad. like. this is in no way a florrick hate account bc i love her. but for real the way she interacts with wyll just. oof. oof. hey florrick? you are proving his negative internal narrative correct by externalizing it. what the hell. stop it. but like it doesn't even occur to him to correct her -- i'm not over this. she said "i'm sure you hate your dad. but please save him anyway" and he has no option to say "i don't hate my father, but i'm sure he hates me and i'm worried he's right to". he's just like "yeah, that's fair" or "would he be happy to see me if i did?" like augh wyll ravengard the man that you are.

speaking of (gestures at game), i Think they're fixing this in patch 7, but it's so fucked up how if ulder ravengard dies you never get the final point wyll gets from him in his quest where his dad tells him like. you don't need a dragon. you were powerful enough to seek out and defeat the dragon. the city will be safe in your hands. like it doesn't occur to wyll to think that on his own without his father's approval, and that's so fucked up and sad to me. like wyll you don't need that man's approval! you don't need it! he sucks! wyll's dad is both a politician AND a cop and that's why wyll is the way he is (half-joking. nuance exists, obviously). ulder ravengard cast out his 17 year old son moments after he noticed that wyll had fucked up without hearing an explanation or trusting that there was a good one. wyll doesn't have nightmares about all the monsters he's fought or the scars he's acquired (and he has more visible ones quantity- and diversity-wise than i think anyone in the party, save maybe lae'zel), he has nightmares about his father casting him out. that's fucked up. the first thing wyll's dad does when you rescue his ass from the iron throne is yell at wyll for his devil appearance. i don't know if that's going to change (patch 7 notes say it will), but right now he reacts the same as if you renewed the pact with mizora to save him, basically just chastising his son Yet Again for the devil pact before learning any context. the vibe is like none of the shit that's happened between then and now matters. you know, the way wyll acts. like how nothing good he's done for anyone really matters or makes him a good person. like how none of the effort he's put in makes him innately worthy of love and trust and respect if he doesn't adopt a pretense of perfect heroism. grand duke ulder ravengard when i get my hands on you

anyway all this to say i wish more than anything there were a way to communicate to wyll that his father kind of sucks and that his approval is not the objective marker of good or worthiness. the way the game is now kind of implies that it is. wyll deserves to cultivate his own self-worth independent of his father's approval AND he deserves a sincere apology from that man. because duke ravengard WAS in the wrong, and it somehow takes more than selling wyll's soul to the hells forever or bending over backwards to violate his pact to save the duke for him to finally acknowledge that he disowned and exiled his own son for no good reason. wyll, your dad can be What This City Needs and also be dead fucking wrong about you. your father does not determine whether you are a good person -- you do.

[azrielgreen]

Hiya! I’ve been rereading Prism (again) and I found something I hadn’t picked up on before in Chapter 7 when Eddie is taunting Billy in the bathroom:-

“You should have seen him then. Seen how fucking pretty he was, how pure. I would watch him at night and, god, there have been so many moments when he’s been right there” … “Close enough to touch, but every time I reached out, it was like…like the universe swept in and said no, not yet, be patient.”

OMG he’s such a creeper! Me thinks Eddie has spent many a night up that tree outside Steve’s bedroom LONG before Billy came along! I’m soooo curious to know exactly what moments Eddie’s talking about though because that sounds like properly evolved stalker behaviour years before the story is set… how many times has Eddie got close to Steve without Steve even knowing he’s there? What were his plans in those moments and why did he decide to wait???!!! (And is there any chance we might learn more about some of these specific moments in future chapters? 👀)

“You did a great job, honestly. Even I can admire your work, though your methods…” “You cracked him wide open in a way I never could” “It was a real test for me, because I could have intervened, but you know…”

-WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, EDDIE???!!!On my first read, I assumed that Eddie wanted Steve at that party but Billy just got to him first so Eddie made the most of an unfortunate situation and ultimately realised he could use Billy’s abuse to endear Steve to himself… but I’ve just realised how this suggests that Eddie consciously decided he would *allow* Billy to have Steve specifically so that Billy could break him apart and give Eddie the advantage of being able to not just rescue Steve but rebuild him to his liking or something. There was a line somewhere in the fic about Eddie trusting in the universe and never intervening in someone’s divine path, so the optimistic part of me that loves this scheming little fucker wants to believe that not intervening was just part of his personal faith/belief system… but when I tell you I got LITERAL CHILLS reading this part, I’m not exaggerating… my arm hair actually stood up from the gooseflesh! If it’s not too spoiler-y, could you give any insight into Eddie’s thought process on the night of that party? Like… Is he so desensitised to suffering that he couldn’t really conceive how hurt Steve would get if he allowed the universe to do its thing? Did he willingly let Steve and Billy leave while this whole scheme started to take shape in his mind? Is there more to it that I haven’t even considered???

God, Eddie is so complex and bloody convoluted and I’m OBSESSED!

Ah this is SUCH a cool ask thank you!!! So yes, we will see some of those "moments" that Eddie is talking about, the "close enough to touch" sort of moments where he feels that it wasn't their time.

The whole thing with Eddie being at the party where Steve met Billy, yes! So it's a mixture of feelings he had really. Firstly, and he won't admit this in store for a while, but he was actually quite jealous. Eddie never really admits to being jealous, even internally, but he's deeply prone to it sometimes. It felt almost like a betrayal, and Eddie - who was fresh out of his 1st stint in prison was in an especially unstable mindset so after hearing them in the bathroom, he left and then quite literally left town to go do "mysterious things" we don't know about yet. Eddie's belief in fate and the path each person must walk is absolute. Its all that's kept him alive sometimes. But it hurt him to have it so sorely tested (that's how he thinks of it). There's always several parts of Eddie that are thinking different things. He feels many things at once.

Eddie's "scheme" was very loose and fluid at the start, he IS patient or he was before he got close to Steve and his faith in fate has carried him through a lot. What he wants from Steve cannot be rushed, forced or cheated. It's a marathon versus a sprint.

Sorry for the ramble, hope it makes sense!!!💜💕✨️

P.S - though he's not lying to Billy, he did really want to scare him so small elements were exaggerated for theatrical effect because Eddie's a little bitch sometimes.

[strangeweirdgirl]

Lets talk about Annabeth and Thalia reaction after Luke's dead. (Not immediately after but the few snippets we got from hoo)

Annabeth:

Honestly the reaction we hav from annabeth checks out. She doesn't really wanna talk about him and that's perfectly fine. The guy who you saw as a brother then crush turned to a bad side and unfortunately you weren't able to help but in the end he still choose the right path, it can be confusing for her i think. She might blame herself that if i tried harder maybe i would be able to save him and he'll be alive. I hope though that she talks about it with someone cuz it will help the trauma. Anyways In tlh, when jason shows her the pic she doesn't wanna talk about him and that's fine hes a stranger but jason says a darkness comes upon her face.

From this I'm guessing after everything she's blocking everything and trying not to think or process it esp after percy goes missing. But as i said before it checks out. After everything it can be hard and confusing for her. Esp since in the short story hermes put it all on her. So she may blame herself and refuse to talk or think about it too much.

Another theory i have from her reaction, when Jason asks who luke is, is that she is angry with him. He went too far and didn't accept help(debatable) and destroy much in the way. Because a lot of demigods that died annabeth must have known personally and may have grown with them so while she may still have a soft side for him and proud that he sacrificed himself but is angry that his choices caused that much destruction and death. So yea in a way she also in this theory is confused and angry and frustrated with him.

Thalia:

Uff man Thalia. Im so confused about her as a character. She became antiluke in tlo but in tlh she calls luke her best friend like it was nothing and like she wasn't completely against him. I get after his sacrifice she became softer towards him (they're my otp so i would love this but) but girl you left him on his own, clearly against him in tlo, spew some lies about his father loving him when he didn't show any signs for it and now 3 4 months you calling him your best friend again. Uffff i cant process it or actually take it seriously

I do wanna say though because rick is kinda inconsistent with her character im not sure what to take as canon. Because after ttc she became a side character rick just doesn't focus on her or who she is as a person cuz i feel she keeps changing from what she is introduced to us before. She trusts Luke so much in ttc and yea seeing him like that can make her change some thing but to go all out like that idk. She completely switched to being antiluke in tlo and saying things that weren't even true. Then in tlh he is her best friend again. Alongside this i would also say her not showing any big reaction to Jason's death is completely out of character as well, at least what i perceive her as. Many ppl also think her reaction wasn't right to who she is thats why i say rick is inconsistent with her character just because she has become side and maybe he doesn't put much thought into it.

[andreal831]

In regards to your take about Katherine, I do agree with you about Stefan completely, and always put my foot down when it comes to rape and sexual assault. The only gripe I have is when people only call out Katherine for this, but always defend Damon and outright deny he ever raped and abused Caroline, when he literally used the exact same methods that Katherine did on Stefan. But somehow they think that because Caroline was the one who showed interest in Damon first, and that she gave consent only once that it makes her rape and abuse less valid than Stefan's.

Even if Caroline did show interest first and gave consent the first time, it doesn't mean she wasn't allowed to change her mind, after she saw Damon for what he was. And after that first time, she was compelled and couldn't give consent or have a say in the matter. Her autonomy was taken away just the same way Stefan's was. And the amount of victim blaming/shaming and slut shaming I see Caroline get for this, and the amount of excuses they make to defend Damon just because they find him hot and attractive and love the bad boy is just beyond revolting and disgusting to me.

As for everything else, like your points about how they should've shown evidence of that Katherine was living in fear of Klaus, or that Klaus had his own network of vampires to track her down, I agree with that. And this is one of many instances where I chalk it up to a writing flaw rather than a character flaw. Also an example of telling instead of showing, which was the writers biggest flaw on both shows.

I always see people applaud Elena for "being brave" and willing to sacrifice herself and choosing not to run, when the truth is, she shouldn't have been in that kind of a position to begin with. The idea people have that Katherine or Elena owed Klaus anything is absurd to me, because they didn't owe him anything. Neither one of them should've had to sacrifice their own lives and die just for his own selfish cause.

And as much as people blame Katherine for Klaus going after Elena, I really don't think it would've mattered either way. Klaus still would've found Elena, whether Katherine came to Mystic Falls or not, and just taken Elena himself.

TW: Rape/SA

I 100% agree with everything you said.

People are misogynistic when they talk about Katherine and Damon. I absolutely cannot stand season 1 Damon. He was meant to be a villain and was. There is no question that he raped Caroline. It doesn't matter that she was flirting with him or even that she initially wanted to be with him. As soon as she said no and changed her mind, it crosses over to rape. A person is allowed to change their mind at any point for any reason. She very clearly expressed it and Damon ignores it and continues to compel and use her for months.

Season 1 Caroline is why I will always have a soft spot for her, even when she made decisions I didn't like or annoyed me. What she went through at such a young age just broke my heart and I feel like the show never gave her the time to process it or even acknowledge it. Hell, even just having Stefan and Caroline be able to support each other and trauma bond.

I do not allow any slut shaming on my pages for anyone. I do see it a lot with Caroline. People often blanket it in a way that they are trying to defend another character, but it's still not appropriate. It's one thing to say that her having sex with a certain character was problematic, but it's completely different to just shame her for sex in general.

I do also agree that it was a writing flaw in how they portrayed Katherine's past. I indirectly said this in the previous post. I think it really has to do with the fact that they hadn't anticipated keeping the Mikaelsons on for so long. In TO they wanted to make the Mikaelsons look more sympathetic, which would have been harder to do if every flashback showed them mercilessly hunting down Katherine. Unfortunately, this made Katherine look cruel for how she used and abused people in order to stay "hidden." Again, I do headcanon that they had people looking for her and chasing her, but she still did things that weren't necessary and continued to do things she didn't need to even after the Mikaelsons were no longer chasing her.

I also agree that Katherine and Elena owed no one anything, especially not Klaus. I also hate when people blame one character for another's behavior. Katherine attempting to hand Elena over to Klaus, yes we can blame her. But we can't blame Katherine for the inevitability of Klaus seeking Elena out. If anything, like I said in the last post, Katherine could have sold out her ancestors earlier. She was the only one who knew she had a child and that more doppelgangers could have existed. I'm not sure when she discovered the lore of everything, but she did at some point and I like to believe she didn't immediately start trying to sell out her ancestor for her own freedom.

Thanks for the ask!

[commsroom]

sorry if u answered this before but do you hc Eiffel as any particular race? I know him being white would probably match how he sees himself as the everyman. But on the other hand he gives me light skin vibes and I can't explain why. (Also no matter what he has long hair but curly haired Eiffel just speaks to me)

mm. i know you're just asking for my opinion, but that's a complicated question. and i am not the right person to be talking about this, so please take it with a grain of salt. one of the few legitimate criticisms i have of wolf 359 is that it's a show about personal identity, resisting dehumanization, and recognizing that other people navigate the world in different ways, but it tries to be raceblind. which. it can't. particularly when something like minkowski's identity as a polish immigrant is addressed.

i think one of the reasons that wolf 359 characters feel as real as they do is how collaborative the character development process was; they are really roles that are shaped by and belong to those actors. lovelace is played by a black actress, cecilia lynn-jacobs's input determined a lot of things about her, and the audience reaction to lovelace getting shot near the end of s3 was the way it was because there was an understanding of her as a black woman. whether she was initially written to be black is kind of irrelevant in that case, i think - she still is, and she resonates with people that way.

but every other main character in wolf 359 is played by, and similarly influenced by, a white person. and that's a problem. no matter how you approach it, wolf 359 is not a diverse show: if they were written as non-white, then being played by white people would be a problem. raceblindness also enforces a default assumption of whiteness. i think if eiffel wasn't meant to be read as white, then there are aspects of his character arc, his assumption of himself as the "default" person and general ignorance of how it feels to be "other", that probably could've been explored from a different angle.

i know people who see him as white because of that, and i know people who see him as another race because of how they connect with him as a character. and i can understand both perspectives on that, but i don't think there's a right way to approach it. i think the show unfortunately, in this one specific way, kind of dug its own grave. gabriel urbina has said however you see these characters, that's correct, and i can agree with the sentiment, but it's also mired in a lot of difficult context, because these are specific people, and these things should matter to them. it can't be interchangeable, and so it can't be that ambiguous. it could be handled a lot better. and based on his more recent work + politics, i wonder if he would've approached it differently, if he had all the information then.

about how i see eiffel: i've said many times before that i see him as a man who could be reasonably played by zach valenti, so the eiffel in my head is white. the eiffel in the art i commission, or the art where i'm like "oh!! eiffel!!" is not necessarily. the second most eiffel-like guy i can think of, who i also use as a reference sometimes, is iranian. but for me to say that eiffel was iranian is not really a claim i think it would be right for me to make, and i think it is probably not true.

the main features that i think eiffel must have are dark, wavy/curly hair, prominent nose, noticeable body hair, generally expressive. he absolutely cannot be light haired, clean shaven, or pale. and from a general standpoint, like... a wide variety of men could meet those qualifications. i don't want to reinforce an assumption of whiteness, but i'm also extremely wary about treating race as functionally cosmetic, since. again. it can't be. no show is removed from real life social contexts, and wolf 359 is about a lot of very real things.

i think if you do interpret eiffel as specifically a cis, able-bodied white guy, there's something very real and very unfortunate about the fact he initially ignores lovelace and hera, two marginalized women, and seeks reassurance from minkowski that they were overreacting. he listens eventually, but the person who gets through to him is presumably the Next Most Visibly Privileged Person, and that's... hm.

[scarletpath]

I've been curious and started looking into it about what actually happens to one when they turn into a Vampire Spawn. They don't really talk about what happens during the changing process unfortunately.

So I thought back to what Astarion said about how he had to regurgitate congealed blood when he woke up in a coffin. And it made me wonder. How would he have been able to do that if all his blood was drained from him to begin with? And obviously, there wasn't blood in his stomach to begin with. Maybe it wasn't technically blood. Maybe it had to do with the changes one goes through when changing into a Spawn.

When we think of Vampires, we all look to Vampires in our own Media. And more often, Human Vampires. But this is a world of DnD. There are more than one race of humanoids and a lot of them can be made into Vampires. Here's the thing, if we look at the digestive tracks of all these different races, they will be different, but similar. But as Vampires, it will all be the same no matter what. So, part of the change has to do with more than just getting paler, gaining red eyes and growing fangs. There's a internal change as well. What if what Astarion coughed up wasn't actual blood but actual rejected flesh and tissue of his organs that have no use to him anymore.

They don't need stomach acids anymore, right? Or to create bile. So that means it has to be removed/replaced with a way to process blood and liquids. So their stomachs and digestive tracks would have gone through a complete change to suit their new diet. So it makes sense that consuming solid foods will cause them great discomfort and make them ill because their stomach is completely different now.

Luckily though, I think this part of the process (and why it takes a day) is done after the person dies and right before they wake up as a Vampire. I don't want to imagine how painful it would be.

[thatdodoanonx]

Hey Dodo!!

I haven't heard from you in a bit, I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing! I think about you regularly, and although I know it is a silly wish considering your circumstances, I hope you are doing well. And I hope that one day you will be safe and sound, and that that day comes soon.

I love you, truly

Hi everyone this not so quick update about my state, it has some heavy topics so I'm gonna put some trigger warning please keep that in mind and don't worry I'll get to everything eventually 

TW: Suicide, Self Harm, COSA, Religious Trauma, Abuse 

Now with that being said I wanna start by saying Hi, it's been almost a year since the whole thing happened, it was emotional rollercoaster but I can assure I'm still alive and start my journey to recover ❤️‍🩹 

Did I leave home?

No but my mom got a promotion out of the town and I only see her once sometimes twice a week, she did try to make me move with her but couldn't because of college (I only got one year left YAY!!) 

Is she still a pain ?

Yeah nothing changed about her she is still as controlling, she gave me back my phone but put a child lock on it so I won't be able to access any app except the ones related to college, and she gave me back my laptop (which I'm using to write this on it)

Ok now onto the heavy topics, I found myself relapsing into my old bad habit, cutting and biting myself until it bleeds I haven't done that since highschool,to put it blunt I didn't have irl friends or at least a support system, and metal health in my country is a taboo and being from a well known family in a small town isn't helping, so the idea of a therapy is out of the window, and being alone with my thoughts didn't help

And then my first attempting, idk why but I couldn't do it I guess I was scared, no one was home that day and even had razors but I couldn't. I was able to find my dad's old laptop and typed for suicide hotline and to my surprise there was. The lady on the phone helped me a lot because I was going through a bad panic attack. At the end of the call she told me to talk to my mom about it, she's a doctor after all and there's no shame in it, but come on now that's my we're talking about. I told her I'll try 

Fast forward: I was visiting mom in the city she's working now at, the job comes with a free rental apartment, anyway me and her had a heart to conversation and me being the idiot that I am thought about it was opportunity to talk about some childhood trauma, it's painful to talk about it but don't worry I'm coming with the term that it wasn't my fault. (I'll highlights the next paragraph so don't have to read it if it upset you I'm writing it so u can understand the context)

I was a victim of COSA (child on child sexual assault) by my cousin who is the same age as me (we both were 7 at the time) , she unfortunately had an early access to internet and would show me sexual images. I told my cousin about the bulling I was going through school because I like a boy and said I would marry him (which extremely forbidden in my Religious school) so my bullies made a rumor about me being a loss child and I would going out which older boys, the rumors were so bad one of the teachers pulled me aside and confronted me about it, she knew I was a good kid so there was no way.

I told my cousin about it, I trusted her and what do you she did? That's right she blackmailed and told me I didn't do whatever she wanted she would tell my mom about my secret. So there I was me and her in a small room at our grandma's house, things happened I don't want to recall and I don't think I'll be able. no matter how I begged and cry, I just kept numbing myself until it's over, this still habit I have , one the thing I do to survive 

I told mom about, my childhood trauma, my suicide attempt. she was understandly horrified, she tried to comfort me but this processed to say it was my fault that I let that happen, I told her I was scared and still a child 

Then I told that I was messed up and need a professional help to which she said "we don't need that I'll fix you myself"

The next day me and her got into a fight over something stupid to which she as always had to pull the secrets I told her against me "Why don't you fucking kill yourself already? You said wanted to do it, huh? Now it's your time at least you'll save a headache" she said that in front of my brother 

I know whenever she gets mad she would go so low but even that was low for her, that was the one time I trusted her with something so personal I never told to anyone and somehow she managed to shutter every lasting trust I had in her. Part of me still thought everything she would do was out of love, that was tough love and she only hurt me because she care but I guess at that moment truly open my eyes 

I came to her that night and told her that what she said really hurt me and I trusted her with something very personal to which she dismissed and said "oh [name] me and you know well that you'll never kill yourself, you're too coward anyway" 

Out of all the things she said to me that has to cruelest thing ever, maybe because part of me know she was right but I didn't think she would say it out loud 

After that everything went blur for me, summer course I started to see her less and less. In the few weeks without her were strange to say the least. I come home and it's... quiet? No shouting, no yelling, no screaming no nothing. It was weird, I didn't know what to do with that quiet, I felt if I relaxed to much she might jump out of nowhere and scream at me, but I have to say it was nice, I felt like I can breathe? Like no one is watching everything I do waiting for me to make a mistake. It is not ideal she still come every week but honestly it's better than nothing. I started to write a little in my notes every now and then, I even started to draw again. Both brought me comfort, and I even allowed myself to make friends, it's not a big group but hey we get along. There's on in particular friend group I'm close to the most, she's lovely, keep talking and texting me to check, I gotta say it was a bit overwhelming but I'll never tell her to stop because that's how she shows she care

Life has been slow lately, same old routine but I'm more happy and more idk calm? I mean a few months ago I thought I won't be alive today and what do you know! I turned 23 two mouths ago (happy late birthday to I guess?) I think that is a good a step for me start healing, it won't happen over night but I know it will be worth it 

Thanks to everyone on who still checking on me, I know it was a long update, but I'm thankful you took time to read it 

I hope there's a next, see you soon

-🦤

[crabonfire]

Loss and comfort.

Characters: scout.

Warnings: Loss, grieving, reader not taking care of themselves.

Not a warning, but S/O gets nonverbal when they are sad.

note: hii

This is an update, so if you're an active follower of mine, please read before continuing on. This month, my mental health and overall well being has not been the best. I know I keep taking breaks, but unfortunately, these said breaks are necessary. I just lost my cats, and I'm coping as best I can. Please be patient with what I write, and I hope you all enjoy it.

Scenario: You've recently lost somebody close to you, and you're still sortve processing everything. You've been in your room all day, not eating or taking care of yourself overall, and scout decides to check up on you.

♡Scout♡

• When you two are out in the field, usually he'd like to show off to you, because you would always compliment or even make fun of him a bit, but today, you were so quiet.

• all you'd give him was a simple nod, a small smile, or just a thumbs up while you continued on your battle.

• so his first thought was that he did something wrong, and after the battle, he wanted to go and talk to you, but the moment the battle was done you hurried off to your room.

• something was definitely wrong, and he thought it was something he'd do, or have said that day.

• he was still thinking about what to do, so he sorta just...waited for you to come out instead of coming to you, probably still thinking about what to ask, or say.

• but you never did.

He'd walk by your room, ask if anybody had seen you, but you never once stepped out of your room. Not even to eat, or to do anything at all. It was like you were never there.

• so, he came over to your room, plate of dinner in hand as he knocked gently.

"Yo babe, you in there? Ya didn't come out for dinner, so I saved you a plate."

After he heard some shuffling, there you were.

• his face dropped, noticing your tear stained face, nose red and puffy, presumably from crying.

"Oh shit, what happened?"

And right when he asked, you started to cry again.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡��♡♡♡

• after some time, you'd finally calm down from your crying, slowly eating the eggs engie had cooked for dinner. He sat next to you on your bed, worried eyes focused on your face.

• "You...wanna talk about it?"

You nodded a "no" quickly, and continued eating more. He simply said "okay" and let you eat your food in silence. He didn't know what to do, or what to say, you weren't saying anything either.

"Was it something I said?" You nodded another "no".

• though after a bit, you placed the food on your desk nearby, got a piece of paper, and wrote something to him. The paper read;

I don't talk when I'm upset. That's just how I am. I don't want to talk about it right now, but thank you for being here. It's not anything that you did, but I'm just not ready to tell you yet. I'm sorry.

He read, relieved it wasn't about him, but worried about what had made you so upset, you stopped taking care of yourself.

"...do you want to be alone? Or do you want me to stay?" He asked, looking up at you with bright eyes. You contemplated for a bit, but you wrote,

I'd like to be alone. Is that okay?

"Totally, don't even worry about it babe." He smiled softly at you, he gave you a pat on the back before he continued,

"No matter what it is your upset about, I'll always be here for ya, okay? Nothin' will be too much for the both of us ta handle, and I know your a strong, badass person."

He smiled wider when he saw you smile too, "I love ya babe," He leaned to give you a kiss on your forehead, "I love you so much."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

• The next morning, when he saw you he immediately went over to you.

"How are you baby? Feelin' better?" He asked, a spark of joy in his eyes, just happy to see you were able to get out of bed.

"Yeah, thanks for asking Jeremy. You really helped a lot last night."

You two spent the day together, having fun and battling like usual, and when you calmed down, you decided that it's better to tell him what happened then to keep it in.

So, you sat him down in your room.

"My...friend passed away. It was a week ago but, I had just heard about it yesterday. I didn't know how to...feel about it. I mean or course I'm sad but, I just can believe it you know? I can't believe that they're gone..." You sighed, "And I can't believe I can't see em anymore. I won't talk to them anymore, we won't hang our anymore and I won't be able to see them ever again...it hurts you know?"

He felt his heart drop, oh god, how sorry he felt for you. Tears fell from your eyes as you vented to him, heart beating fast as you remembered all the things you did with them. It hurts to see them go you know?

When you were done, he didn't know what to say, but he pulled you in for the tightest, yet friendliest hug you've ever had in your life. He gripped your chest, letting you cry into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry."

You sobbed into him, and it felt like you did so for an eternity. Yet with his shirt now soaked, he didn't even move out of that tight embrace once. Didn't even consider it.

"Dying sucks so bad. It feels like...when your with them it's jus' You guys against the world! I get it, but life can be a piece a' shit and ruin it all." He said, "I know ya cared for em, you really loved them too, and they mustve loved you just as much..."

He pulls away to look at you, eyes determined to make you feel better.

"It feels like...the world won. They took somebody from you, and that's so ass." He struggled to find the right words but he continued anyways, "But that doesn't mean you should give up. Wherever your friend is, I'm sure they're still there, havin' fun and lookin' after ya."

You chuckle through your tears, a bitterness reverberating in your chest when you say, "That's so damn cliche.." He nods, "Yeah, but...that doesn't mean it's wrong."

"It's okay to cry, it's okay to...break down and think life is shit. But I want you to know that it won't always be like this. Life is one big party babe, it's good, then bad, good again, then maybe bad again. It's crazy! But...somehow, in the bad, we always get back up on our feet."

He smiled, "And I know you will too. It might take you a while to move on, or even think of them without cryin', but I wantcha' to know that it's alright...these things take time man, it doesn't take a second to just suddenly be happy again, and that's okay."

"When life gives you lemons, you cut them up and squirt lemon juice all over life's eyes! Because, your strong, and fuck life for fuckin' you up!"

You laughed, making him smile wider.

"Wow, this is kind of out of character for you. Didn't know you were so good at this stuff, Jer."

He blushed, and laughed, "Hell yeah, I AM good at this stuff. How'd you just notice that? Wow babe, you don't pay attention to me." He scoffed dramatically, placing a hand to his heart all offended. You roll your eyes, "Oh shut up."

"...thank you though, for all this...your a good listener, and a surprisingly good therapist too."

He simply smirked at that, "Yer welcome babe, if you want a shoulder to cry on, or somebody to talk to, yer boyfriend is here for ya!"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

rushed the ending because I stopped crying when I wrote this haha!! this was sortve just me writing myself advice so that I could cope better with loss LMFAOOO