#upload the whole show you cowards!

[rintarousgirl]

i wanna be yours -- 11. baby, i'm yours

✦ - Y/N is a small business owner, offering her services not only as a designer but an at-home makeup artist and cosmetic producer as well. She's perfectly content with her small life when she's approached by the manager of the INARIZAKI band, asking for her to fill the position of backstage artist on short notice. Needing the money, and wanting the experience, Y/N agrees. Little does she know of the fatal attraction she will share with the band's lead, Suna Rintarou.

a/n: making this series was so amazing. i got so much support throughout, and i've always wanted it to be the absolute best for all of you. i hope this is a satisfying ending in your eyes, even if it isn't in mine. i apologize for the hectic uploading schedule. i've been overestimating just how much i can do and recently had to drop a day in my schedule because i was just getting so sick and run down all the time. tysm to everyone who stuck around, i love every single person who takes the time to read my silly little internet stories.

-

The hallway is quiet, save for the rolling carts of a few hotel maids. Kita had rented out the whole floor, seeing as we had two weekend shows at different locations in the same vicinity.

Your room had been on the far end, Kira’s next to it, and then the rest of the band. It’d been his idea, supposedly, but you’re sure the far proximity had something to do with Rintarou’s room down the hall.

You make your way down the hall, planting your feet right outside his room. You raise your hand to knock when your heart gives one particularly harsh beat in your chest that shocks through your core like lightning.

Fear.

What if he left you because he was bored? What if he lied? Maybe it wasn’t because he thought he was ruining your friendships, maybe he just wanted someone else.

Your stomach churns uneasily, rolling back into your gut like a tide before a tsunami.

You were stupid, so so stupid for all of this.

Your hand falls to your side, but you can’t seem to move your feet. They’re weights, stuck to your legs, keeping you grounded.

Flightless, trying to force you to accept the fears you’ve been mulling over for a month. All the running and avoiding. The hoops you jumped through so you could do his makeup and be done with him entirely. Out of blind anger, hatred, and pure unadulterated love.

You loved Suna Rintarou, and clearly he loved you it he was willing to let you go for your own happiness. And at the same time he was so unbelievably foolish.

You turn on your heel, and head back down the hall. In your pocket, your phone dings with another text from Tetsuroo.

You pull it out, halfway back down the hall, and read it.

“tell me how it goes!”

He was waiting on a response.

Your blood turned to steel in your veins. You weren’t gonna be a coward about this. No. Not when it’s about something this important.

You march back down the hall, right outside Rintarous door, and give three quick knocks. As soon as it sounds out, your hand falls to your side and you’re taking in deep breaths.

There’s a bit of shuffling on the other side, and the soft patter of footsteps, before the door swings open.

There stands Rintarou in all his glory.

Sleepy eyes look at you, blinking as if he couldn’t tell if he was dreaming or not. His pajamas hang loosely on his frame, and his hair is messed up but he still manages to stay so beautiful.

You cant help it.

“I love you,” you blurt out.

His lips part into a soft round ‘O’, and he still can’t quite seem to tell if he’s dreaming.

In a moment of delayed confidence, you lean forward and press your lips to his. He tastes of mint toothpaste and smells of shampoo. Exactly how you remember. Your hands reach up into his hair, curling in brunette locks as he smiles against your lips.

You pull back, cheeks flushed and giggling, “we still need to talk,” you declare, but his hand is on your waist and he’s leading you inside.

“Of course,” he says, pulling out a chair for you to sit in. You sit down as he pulls up another own for himself, looking all too comfortable in his pajamas.

You sit in silence for a second, taking in each others appearance. He must notice the way your eyebags had darkened or your skin had gotten paler. Just like how you’ve noticed how much more tired he’s been and how strained his voice has become.

“What happened?” you asked softly, looking down in your lap, “Between us, I mean…it couldn’t have just been Akaashi.”

He looks at his own lap, more so with an expression of shame. His hair hangs in front of his beautiful eyes. You want nothing more than to kiss him once again and sweep him tight into your arms.

“I didn’t want to see you upset,” he whispers weakly, “It killed me to see you so stressed, especially with me at the root of it. I thought if I left, maybe you’d be able to make up with your friend. I never meant to hurt you.”

His tone is genuine, and his eyes shine with sincerity as he looks at you. No hints of secrecy, or anything. Just admiration and regret.

“You’re so stupid,” you laugh, “both of you. I cant believe… how could have you even come to that conclusion?”

And despite it all, you’re still so unbelievably in love with him and all he stands for. All he’s done. Proud of his accomplishments, grateful for how well he treats you.

You rise from your seat, and walk in front of him. His hands come to rest on the backs of your thighs as you cup his cheeks in your hands.

“Can you forgive me?” he asks, a little cheekily, a small smile growing big on his lips.

You pretend to ponder for a moment, before sealing your decision with a sweet kiss.

<- previous | masterlist

★ - akaashi ditched the way he normally texted when apologizing

★ - after akaashi's apology, there is a one month time skip

★ - suna and akaashi never truly made up and became friends, but they're on even terms now

★ - y/n and kiyoko do end up meeting in the future, but y/n doesn't even recognize her until she says her name

★ - suna and y/n live happily ever after the end!!! LMAO

✦ - Y/N is a small business owner, offering her services not only as a designer but an at-home makeup artist and cosmetic producer as well. She's perfectly content with her small life when she's approached by the manager of the INARIZAKI band, asking for her to fill the position of backstage artist on short notice. Needing the money, and wanting the experience, Y/N agrees. Little does she know of the fatal attraction she will share with the band's lead, Suna Rintarou

taglist:

@mannaornot \ @gojoscumslut \ @sunarots \ @alienvarmint \ @tojirin \ @tkooooop \ @cheriesdear \ @shotenvinsoot \ @wolffmaiden \ @riiceandsoup \ @thebrownemo \ @vivian-555 \ @effmigentlywithachainsaw \ @rukia-uchiha-98 \ @weird0o0 \ @seiamor \ @rory-cakes \ @blue-violin \ @reveusecherie \ @hellokittylover9 \ @yourlocal-bunny \ @keniza \ @cerberuspuppy1 \ @baramii \ @kirbyscreeper \ @rioiio \ @noideawhothatis \ @ris-krispie \ @noideawhothatis \ @venusinx \ @arminseas \ @iluv-ace

[lance-space-mommy]

Can You Stop? Your Condolence Is Uncalled For.

“Oh, you’re still so pretty.”

Midoriya knew the saying all too well. After all, it was said to him whenever his haircut came out too short or didn’t look right. He knew it didn’t make anything better, yet people constantly said it.

“Oh, you’re still so pretty.”

In junior high, his bullies decided it would be hilarious to drench Midoriya head to toe during lunch. They carelessly picked up a bucket of what they assumed was water and threw it on Midoriya. The whole lunchroom was laughing or ignoring the show when things went south.

Midoriya started screaming, wiping his eyes, and struggling to stand.

“It burns! It burns!”

Soon everyone realized that what Midoriya was been splashed with was not water. While the dumb bullies that pulled the prank were freaking out, others jumped into action. Bakugo had been in the lunch line and getting his food when Midoriya started screaming. Despite everyone assuming he couldn’t care less, he was the one to scoop Midoriya up.

While one of the students called 119 out of fear, a couple others had been trying to get handkerchiefs and napkins to help. Bakugo forced them away and rushed Midoriya to the nurse, freaking out that Midoriya was still wailing and struggling to keep his breathing calm. The nurse explained if the chemicals were harmful enough, Midoriya needed to be stripped down and thoroughly rinsed.

The curtain was drawn and Bakugo had to help Midoriya undress and get under the shower. Midoriya tilted his head upwards, more concerned with flushing his eyes. Bakugo was huffing and puffing. He was a bully, but this kind of physical violence was horrible. Whatever chemical that was been poured on Midoriya was already showing clear effects. His skin was enflamed and bright red.

Midoriya could barely stand, getting a bit wobbly. Bakugo was doing everything in his power to support Midoriya’s body weight and keep him stable. Bakugo also tried to help Midoriya control his breathing.

Once the ambulance arrived, Midoriya was taken off to the hospital as well as Bakugo. Bakugo only had mild pain in his arms and hands from where he’d been touching Midoriya and his clothes. He was still treated considering how bad Midoirya’s condition was.

Midoriya left Aldrea Junior High after the incident. Aldera Junior High in return got a bad reputation after the event occurred. Many students uploaded the video causing news stations to report the crime. The Midoriya family refused to respond to the reporters trying to get details on what went down or Midoriya’s current status.

The Bakugo family had visited Izuku many times. Inko was devastated, but beyond happy her pride and joy was alive and safe. Katsuki was still beyond pissed that his peers were so stupid and reckless. Mitsuki and Masaru kept bringing him really amazing meals in secret since the hospital food didn’t really have much he liked.

Izuku had permanent scarring from the intense 2nd-degree chemical burns. While most of his body had the bucket of strong chemicals splashed on him, there were some miracle spots where there was close to no damage. Of course, there still was a lot. The majority of his body was affected due to the chemicals seeping into his clothes.

Izuku was grateful for Katsuki. If he hadn’t stepped in, who knows what would’ve happened. Everyone in that school was a coward so they probably would’ve ran away out of the fear of being burned. Mitsuki and Inko both transferred their sons to a new school, giving them a fresh start.

Everyone left Izuku alone at the new school when people found out he was quirkless. That meant no bullies. He even made a could of “friends” but he saw them more as acquaintances. Bakugo of course rose to the top for his powerful quirk and being a new kid. Midoriya hid in the crowd, doing what he had to do.

Through the rest of Junior High and into his first year at U.A. High, the phrase that once didn’t hold any weight now felt like a punch to the gut.

“Don’t worry, I think you're handsome.”

“Your scars look so cool!”

“They are your battle scars!”

“They show you survived!”

“Oh, you’re still so pretty.”

Izuku hated people bringing up his scars just to tell him that it wasn’t too bad. It didn’t change anything. It didn't make his scars magically disappear. It didn’t change how he felt about his scars or what happened to him. It didn’t make him feel any better. If anything it made him feel worse.

The constant reminder of what Midoriya now had to deal with and that he was considered "flawed" to a certain extent was counterproductive. Why would a person point out what makes Midoriya different only to try and explain how he wasn't different? It was unnecessary and cruel to a degree. Constantly bringing up a topic and memory he didn’t want to always think about soon made Midoriya turn cold the moment people even started talking about appearance or whenever someone started their usual ramble.

Midoriya's arms were now littered with scars from using his quirk and he found some comfort in them. He may not have wanted them, but they stemmed from a place he could look back at fondly. His fingers were bent and scared from the sports festival when he helped Todoroki. His large and bright purple scar from fighting Muscular and saving Koota. Still, someone always found a way to bring up his chemical burns.

Whenever the dorms were built and the interviewer came to write a report, he took an interest in Midoriya. Not only because of his close relationship with All Might, but because of his past. After talking to the boy about it, Midoriya agreed to do a really small interview.

Soon after the man left and the article came to life, many were surprised to find out about Midoriya getting a personal interview. When the class all read through his experience and recovery journey, they stilled at one small section.

“I get so frustrated because rather than having a normal conversation with me, everyone brings up my scars. They point them out or make a comment only to immediately tell me something to try and make me feel better about a topic they brought up.”

“Oh? So it’s bugging you that people only see you for your scars. I understand how that may be frustrating, especially if they are one bringing up something you’d prefer to keep in the past,” agreed the reporter.

“Yes. It doesn’t do anything for me. It doesn’t make me feel better. It doesn’t erase what happened to me. It doesn’t change the fact I’d rather not have these burns all over my body. People don’t understand that “oh you're still so pretty” is a meaningless consolation. Just don’t mention my scars and I’ll be satisfied. They don't realize their "validation" is just them letting me know that all they see when they look at me is my scars.”

“Preach kid. I hope that your message will help remind people to be conscious of what they say to others who are experiencing something similar to you. Also, I’m sure everyone will be happy to hear you’re safe and healthy; Even though I’m sure everyone already knows you are doing well after seeing your performance at the sports festival.”

“I’m honestly doubtful. The sports festival is such a thrilling event! Everyone that participated was so hardworking to show their worth and had such amazing quirks! Something that happened years in the past wasn’t the focus,” rambled Midoriya, trying to deny his importance.

“You got me there kid. You and your classmates sure have gone through a lot since then,” noted the reporter.

“We sure have. I’m very proud of them and I’m so grateful for the friends I’ve made. They’re incredible and I hope that the world can see that,” declared Midoriya, clearly passionate about lifting up his classmates.

U.A. staff and students found themselves reading the article and being surprised. They didn't know Midoriya’s injury had been a big topic in the past. While they didn’t recall hearing about it, they probably had seen something about it before. It was easy to find. All you had to do was search up Midoriya’s name and it was all you saw.

News article after news article. News reports after news reports. Gossip channels posted video after video. The clip of Midoriya being assaulted was easy to find as well. So almost everyone watched as their close friend, student, or peer was drenched in chemicals. His screams would haunt them. Fortunately, some of the videos showed Bakugo running over revealing he had been the one to help.

Nonetheless, Midoriya made it very clear he did want people to form an opinion of him based on his appearance. He didn’t want pity. He made it very clear he didn’t want it brought up at all. They had all been meaninglessly consoling him on something he didn’t need to be consoled for. If anything it was a backhanded compliment at best.

They had been bringing up a topic that made Midoriya feel uncomfortable. They did all of that just to try and make him feel better about something he didn’t need to feel better about. Not once had they thought of how it would affect Midoriya. They had good intentions, but they should’ve minded their business unless he brought it up. They overstepped his boundaries and they felt beyond guilty about it.

Uraraka, Kirishima, Iida, Mina, Sato, Kaminari, Sero, and Ojiro were most guilty. Shoji, Tokoyami, and Kota knew better than to bring it up. Their situations were completely different considering their body alterations were from their quirk, but they still were very aware of how they felt when their mutations were brought up. They knew how painful hearing that mindless consolation was.

Aoyama, Tsuyu, Jiro, Hagakure, and Mineta had only ever consoled Midoriya when someone else around them had brought attention to it. They didn’t see where it was their business to bring it up, but then they felt obligated to say something when it was brought up. Momo on the other hand never once discussed it. She had noticed the scars, but just like how she was with Todoroki, she just kinda ignored them afterward. It was just how Midoriya looked. It didn’t warrant her input.

Todoroki and Midoriya had actually talked about their scars in private. Todoroki’s came from abuse. Midoriya’s came from bullying. They found a lot of peace from talking to someone else who'd gotten their scar in a similar situation. While the situation wasn’t able to be compared, not like it should be, they were still violent in nature. Todoroki’s mom gave him a freeze burn in an attempt to fix her pouring boiling water on his face. Midoriya’s bullies were stupid and didn’t think to make sure the bucket they grabbed was filled with water. No matter what lead to them being hurt, they still came out with scars.

Bakugo came to Midoriya’s dorm later to discuss what he said in the newspaper. He was irritated to find out that no one saw an issue in pointing out something that could possibly trigger Midoriya. After all, the scars clearly came from a traumatic experience and even the mention of the scars could make him relieve it.

Midoriya ranted a bit, getting worked up once thinking about it critically. The way Bakugo phrased things really put everyone’s behavior at face value. Bakugo enjoyed watching Midoriya get angry. Midoriya finally was doing something for himself; which was getting angry on his own behalf.

Midoriya received a lot of apologies. He wasn’t petty like Bakugo, so he accepted everyone’s apologies. All that mattered to him was that they learned their lesson and he wouldn’t have to hear them bring up his scars again.

Besides, he didn't need their pity or words of affirmation to know he was still beautiful. His scars had him look badass.

[clairehadenough]

The fake Animal Welfare Board of India website is not a credible source for anything, let alone Chris Evans' marriage status.//////

First of all why are you people so mfking racist about certain countries especially India.. Animal Welfare Board of India is actually a legitimate site with main in USA.. it's ofcourse not a fake site just because you saw the name India.. then ofcourse an Animal Welfare site isn't a site where you should go and search or take the information from there as somebody's so called 'married' status seriously.. clearly that site hasn't uploaded his informations but neither has IMDB about his so called 'marriage'.. but going after a county and saying it's fake is pure hypocrisy.. also every country's https ends with in not anything special about USA 😕.. & last but not the least why you people are so obsessed with that racist Nazi cunt who released her own shower porn video out of insecurity.. who has done DEMON PORN her whole career🤢🤢🤮🤮this shows what kind of person exactly you team real are🖕🏻💩I dare you to post this but I know you won't because you're a coward just like every other team real blogs and IG accounts.. FUCK OFF

Happy Super Bowl Sunday everyone 🎉

I was debating wether to post this hilarious ask or not but then I said well why not give everyone the opportunity to have a good laugh this morning so here you go😁

Dear Anon with very, very, very familiar style of writing and level of stupidity to someone we all know: that person wasn’t saying that it’s a fake website because it’s from India. They were saying that it was the fake Animal Welfare Board of India website, because the real one is awbi.org.in (‘in’ is for India you idiot, not every country’s http ends up in ‘in’😂)

Now the other website that took the same name for clout is fake because it doesn’t represent the actual AWBI. Hence why it’s been called fake. And that other website’s http doesn’t have ‘.in’ it. Only .org. Here it is

It has nothing to do with racism or because it’s from India you dumb fuck so do get your head out of your ass and try to use your brain from time to time.

Now that you’ve been educated and your dumbness exposed for everyone to see and laugh at, please crawl back to your rat hole and keep trying to come up with new lies to entertain us and to convince yourself that your imaginary boyfriend isn’t married to someone else. 😘

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

us the voices recommends! shows, and movies! part 1

Larva 11/10

this show is genuinely amazing, I literally have cried multiple times it's genuinely the best show in the whole "potty humour, screaming" genre, literally if you can get past the kinda obnoxious screaming you will be treated with a wonderful show that has so much love put into it.

(most media critics are snobs, this show is awesome. embrace the silly and the cringe.)

Upload (2020) 10/10

black mirror if it was funny and wasn't anti-technology, best take on cyberpunk I've seen in a long time. if you liked black mirror but hated the doomer parts and the trash writing of some of the later seasons and episodes you will adore upload!

(I actually hate black mirror, like it's all short stories at the end of the day and I like some of them so much and others can go in a hole and die genuinely. it's the most mixed bag of a show I've ever seen, because it just kinda is such a doomer show like make up your mind on what it is!!! 4.7/10 overall and 11/10 for select short stories.)

dinosaur king (dubbed) 10/10

if you like "Pokemon" and "Digimon" you will fucking love dinosaur king, it has (for the time) accurate dinosaur facts. the VA's for jessie and James! and I think ash? appear, and it's a all round fun show! lots of dinosaurs and crying to be had!

squid girl (dubbed/subbed) 10/10

if you like anime girl, fish out of water, slice of life, funny shows you will love squid girl! many many squid puns, and general tomfoolery.

Siren: Survive the Island 11/10

a south Korean reality game show, where a bunch of women from different jobs and backgrounds compete to be the last one standing.

it's genuinely the coolest, edge of your seat show I've watched in a long time!

Physical 100 10/10

a reality game show where the top 100 south Korean sports people? compete against each other to win, it's fucking crazy and awesome and I can't believe it's a show.

Star Trek: lower decks 11/10

if you in any shape or form liked Star Trek you will fucking love lower decks! it's a love letter to Star Trek in all ways, it's extremely funny and a fresh take on the Star Trek formula!

(if you think the first ep is a bit meh, stick through it! it gets so much better)

sword art online: abridged 12/10

I have only ever watched, "sword art online: alicization" and so that was my intro to the sword art online series. but after watching the "something witty's" sword art online: abridged I can never go back. it is extremely well written, the characterisation is impeccable, it has the most realistic feel of if a whole bunch of people actually got trapped in a VR game, and is such an amazing version of the show you will wonder why you hadn't heard of it before!

the Red turtle 11/10

if you like beautiful animation, sadness, and to get your brain chemistry changed. you should check out the red turtle! it's a joint production with studio gibbli, and is so visually stunning and mesmerising you will just sob.

this movie is so amazing, and you will adore the hell out of it.

Megamind 11/10

Dreamworks cult classic film, a family movie that breaks down the superhero genre and reinvents it into a tale of redemption, grief, and rejecting what people think of you. one of the best family movies of the 2010s.

bolt 11/10

if Disney wasn't cowards we would have more of these cult classic early to late 2000s 3D movies, but they hate fun.

if you took everything anti-hollywood and a solid critic on the state of cinema and tv and threw in some animals, chucked it in a pot.

you would have this amazing film! genuinely one of the best Disney movies ever, and the fact people don't talk about it more is saddening.

treasure planet 11/10

one of the last 2D Disney movies, it bombed bad in the cinemas but it is an amazing film that deserves love.

the score is amazing, the characters are so weird and wonderful, and it evokes insane feelings.

chicken little 10/10

if you like kinda campy goofy movies about autism coded characters and sci-fi, and also animals you will adore chicken little, it's one of the weirder 2010s Disney movies. lots of fun and a good family movie.

that's all! see you next instalment!

[philliamwrites]

SWYAATL 11: The Forest of Hands and Teeth (pt.2)

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x fem! Reader

Warnings: description of a decomposing body

Summary: “If anything,” Eren says, and you can hear Armin’s quiet plea “Please stop talking, Eren,” because he knows Eren better than he himself, and if there is a chance to resolve the conflict without it blowing up, Armin will always throw himself in as canon fodder, “if anything, she got fucked up because you tried to run away. Because you tried to abandon us.” Jean goes still beside you like a statue. The glass shard nearly slips from your cold, clammy fingers and you bite your lip, tasting dried blood on your lips. “At some point,” Eren continues, “you’ll have to stop making excuses and stop running.”

Notes: [01] || 10 | 12

Words: 8.2k

A/N: like i promised, i'm baaack!! used my off time to finally finish AoT manga and let me just say I was pretty disappointed :)

the story still remains one of my absolute favourite, but I fell out of love with some characters the same as I fell in love with others.

i really missed uploading and i really missed you guys ♥ thank you for everyone who kept sending me messages about the story!! it makes me so happy to see how much you're enjoying it and yes, some may have figured out the secret! any ask gets a tiny snippet from the story hehehehe i can't not share the stuff with you, especially the smut ehehehehehe. enjoy! (also hmu if you want to join the taglist!)

Chapter 11: The Forest of Hands and Teeth (Pt.2)

The words shake the foundation of your world, open up the ground beneath your feet. Lying under the surface, where you always thought there was benign soil, you discover a pit of bottomless black, yawning wide, waiting to swallow you whole.

All the way, the men herd you like lambs for slaughter away from your camp to a tree where they tie you up. You stay silent, fighting off a crushing waterfall of thoughts and fears and burning tears—everything that is at once vicious and violent. It is only when they are done that your conscience arises from the murky, dark waters of slithering thoughts and ruining imaginations.

Ropes bind your hands together behind your back, biting painfully enough into your skin that all feeling slowly begins to trickle away. Shoulders pressed against shoulders, thick ropes cut into your upper arms tying you against the skin-scratching, rough bark of a tree.

You blink dazedly when after all the commotion there is suddenly nothing but silence—silence and a sharp pain in your closed palm sending shocks of tiny pinpricks up your arm. The men have left, decided that with nothing to break you free from your binds, you are just a bunch of harmless teenagers unable to either save Christa, whom they’ve taken for leverage, or get your equipment back and put up much of a fight.

The silence that mutes you is a savage beast, sharp-toothed and snarling as if it is just waiting to sink its dreadful talons into whoever manages to summon the courage to speak first.

It is no surprise that it is Eren who shows the beast his own fangs and claws sharpened by seething fury.

“We … we could have done something.” He’s sitting between Jean and Connie, too far away from you to see the emotion on his face, but from the tone in his voice, it has to be hot contempt. “If we attacked as a team, we could have shown those bastards, you fucking cowards!” His voice booms over the quiet of the forest, startling birds and squirrels from their slumber.

There’s no reply. The events replay once more behind your closed eyes, quick flashes of pictures, your skin remembering the pressure of a cold rifle barrel. You take a deep, shuddering breath, and fumble with your fingers until the sharp pain relents from your palm. You couldn’t have done anything earlier. But you are not helpless now.

With your arms shaking from the strain and the uncomfortable angle, you begin to cut at your ropes binding your wrists with the shard from the broken whiskey bottle you picked up during the quarrel earlier.

And then of course, because as long as Eren Jaeger lives, Jean Kirschstein will stand against him.

“That’s your opinion,” Jean mumbles, and then louder he continues, and you can feel from the way his shoulders turn hard as stone that the rage in him circles and collects at the centre of his lungs from where he can just spit it out. “I don’t agree. Actually, because of your crazy behaviour, everyone was at danger. [Name] almost fucking died because you acted up.” And quieter, he says, “Victor did die.”

You can hear Eren’s sharp inhale. Marco, ever the diplomat, quickly intervenes, “That wasn’t his fault. It was nobody’s fault, and you know it, Jean.” His voice is thick with an emotion you don’t know how to take apart to unravel the core. “You know it.”

“If anything,” Eren says, and you can hear Armin’s quiet plea “Please stop talking, Eren,” because he knows Eren better than he himself, and if there is a chance to resolve the conflict without it blowing up, Armin will always throw himself in as canon fodder, “if anything, she got fucked up because you tried to run away. Because you tried to abandon us.”

Jean goes still beside you like a statue. The glass shard nearly slips from your cold, clammy fingers and you bite your lip, tasting dried blood on your lips.

“At some point,” Eren continues, “you’ll have to stop making excuses and stop running.”

“Fuck you,” Jean spits, but he’s looking away, shaking slightly, and you know he’s fighting hard not to cry and it cracks something inside you open and now that it is spilling, you have nothing to mend the broken pieces and stop it from spreading.

“If you two could just shut up for a second,” you say, feeling the ropes come loose but also the glass turning slippery in your fingers from new cuts, bleeding and stinging, “maybe we can get out of here faster and make a plan.”

“What—what are you talking about?” Jean shifts, and almost drives the sharp point of the shard right into your wrist. “What are you doing?”

When the rope finally snaps, your arms jolt right into Jean and Connie sitting to your left and right. You bring your arms forward, presenting your unbound hands but also the cuts and slashes on your hands, the bloody shard glinting in the sharp, silvery moonlight. “I,” you say, and the only reason you grin is probably because you’ve lost so much blood you can’t think straight, “am getting us out of here.”

Jean sucks in a sharp breath. Connie makes a relieved sound that is close to a whimper. From the other side of the tree, Mina’s soft sobs have finally stopped and Sasha demands, “What’s happenin’? What’s she doin’?” You doubt she’s realised that she’s allowed her formal speech to slip from all the agitation.

“That’s from Victor’s bottle,” Connie realises, awe-struck. “God, that—he is saving us in a way, isn’t he?”

Lips pressed together tightly, you begin to work at the thick rope tying you all to the tree. It gives you enough reason not to think about how true Connie’s words are, and that even after everything Victor has done, he did not deserve to die such a gruesome death.

You change the shard from hand to hand whenever it hurts too much, but after five minutes, it finally becomes loose enough that a hard pull from everyone else rips the rope apart and it falls in your laps.

“Here, cut me free,” Jean urges, turning his back to you. “Let me take over.”

You don’t argue. When Jean is free, he immediately snags the shard from you, making you jolt away. He’s sickeningly pale, his eyes too big for his face. “Shit, sorry.”

Your response is weak, and he notices. “I’m fine.”

“Nothing about this is fine.” But instead of arguing, he turns away and begins to cut the ropes off Eren’s hands. It doesn’t take long until finally everyone is free, and the mirror expressions you are all wearing says the same: What now?

Mina has come around the tree and kneels before you, gently pressing a piece of fabric she has torn off her shirt against your bleeding palms. You have always noticed how tiny her hands are, how cute and slender her fingers dance whenever she’s excited and claps her hands. Now they are surprisingly strong, yet gentle, as Mina puts them under your chin and inspects your busted nose after cleaning most of the blood away as best as she could.

You can’t stand the worry edged deep into the lines of her face, the dimples around her mouth. “Am I still pretty?” you ask, the smile on your face feeling like those wonky grins children slice into pumpkins with jagged knives for All Hallow’s Eve.

Mina sighs. “Always,” she mumbles, and she doesn’t smile but her eyes do light up a little and it’s the little victories that count for you. “I don’t think it’s broken, so that’s good.”

“There goes my idea to skip cleaning the gear shack for the next couple of weeks.”

“Dude,” says Connie, and if Connie Springer of all people has to reprimand you, you know you’re balancing on a thin tightrope.

It’s Marco’s tight voice, all business-like, that puts a lid on your next light-hearted words. He’s sitting on the ground, cut ropes coiling around him like a thick snake. “What are we supposed to do now? We can’t continue this exercise, it’s over.”

No one objects. Over Mina’s shoulder, you watch Jean mumbling quiet things to Armin who has started shaking once more like aspen leaves in high wind. When he meets your eyes, he immediately looks away, his throat working.

How much do you remember? The words notch into you, cutting deeper than the shard ever could. You’ll get your answers, even if you have to retie him against something and drag them out of him.

“Are we abandoning Christa?” Eren’s voice is quiet. He stands tall and strong against the slithering darkness, but from the way his shoulders are drooping you can tell he is not fine. He looks almost forlorn, surrounded by the looming shadows of the tall trees.

“No, no, by the Walls, we aren’t abandoning anyone.” Marco rakes his hands through his black hair, staring down at the ground between his feet. “But with just us, what can we do? We should head back and ask the instructors—”

“What if we don’t make it?” Eren cuts him short. He finally turns, though his body sags in defeat, you can still see fire burning in his eyes. “I’m not just gonna stand back and retreat. I’m going to save Christa.”

Armin tries to stand but his knees buckle under his weight. Jean quickly catches him before he can fall. “Wait, Eren—”

“Wait for what?!” Eren snaps, and when Armin startles, he either doesn’t notice or ignores it. “Wait to find others who can do the shit that we can do now?! Those fucking pigs won’t hesitate to … to—” His sharp eyes find yours as if that is statement enough.

Oh, you realise suddenly. Before, when the man with the potato bag over his head wanted to have his way with you, it wasn’t Jean screaming not to lay a hand on you. It was Eren.

Now, he takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I’ll go alone, if I have to,” he says now. “Before they hurt her. Or kill her, too.”

“You stupid idiot, do you really think you can do anything on your own?” Jean scrambles to his feet, rises to meet Eren’s glare.

“Guys, please.” Mina’s voice beside you is so quiet. “We can’t afford to be at each other’s throat right now. Things are bad enough.” She seems frail, all of a sudden. Thin and transparent, like she might disappear any moment. You feel an overwhelming urge to just hold her.

The sound of protest clawing its way up your throat, already resounding from Armin to your left, is squashed by Marco’s hand resting gently yet affirming on Armin’s knee. He’s looking up at Jean, and there’s something flashing in his dark eyes you can’t read.

“If I won’t do it, no one will!” Eren screams back, and even though his voice is so loud, like that itself should be enough to drive his point across, he seems small as if he’s moments away from caving in.

“And how are you going to find her?” Jean’s voice has a veneer of calm, but beneath you could hear the vibration of some very different emotion. “All our horses were released, we got nothing on us. You think you can catch up to them on foot?”

“I can’t just stand still and do nothing.” Eren is seething with anger. His hands, balled into tight fists, shake by his side as if he’s about to take on the whole world all by himself and Heavens, what a heavy burden that is. What a lonely pursuit. It makes you want to tug him away, somewhere to a safe place where he doesn’t have to fight all the damn time.

“We won’t,” Jean says, quietly at first, and then louder, “we won’t. I’m coming with you.”

Eren opens his mouth, closes it. He looks at Jean as if he’s seeing him for the first time.

“We’ll go together,” Jean continues, “and we’ll get Christa back.”

“Christa and our gear.” Slowly, Marco climbs to his feet. Determination turns the lopsided smile of his mouth into a formidable line. There’s little hesitation when the rest follow Jean’s declaration, vow that they won’t let Eren alone.

If you’re looking closely enough, it almost seems as if Eren is about to cry.

“It’s settled then.” Jean brushes dirt off his pants. “We’ll go together, stay together. That’ll give us a better chance at surviving this.”

“And we can’t head back first? Only … only for a moment,” Mina says, making everyone turn to her.

“Why?” Jean asks. You startle a little when he leans forward and pulls you up to your feet, a hand around your arm. “We don’t have time to get back and pack up.”

Mina is quiet for a moment. “To bury Victor.”

Someone makes a very small, plaintive sound. Armin’s eyes widen when you all look at him, and he hurriedly brushes Eren’s hands away, who is trying to inspect the little scratches on his face. After he had stumbled over his own feet earlier, one of the men had yanked him up roughly.

His small hands lay balled into tight fists on his lap. “They had one horse pulling their cart … for so many people and all that equipment, I doubt they’ll make it far. Which means they’ll have to stop, maybe take stock of their yields.” Armin’s lashes flutter like the wings of an anxious butterfly. “It’s the only chance we’ll get to catch up to them.”

“No turning back now.” Eren at least has the decency to look apologetic towards Mina. Her answer is a raised chin, a confident nod. You all have to deal with this later.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” asks Connie. He’s dragging his sleeve over Sasha’s face, wiping off any remaining snot from her nose. “We might not make it even if we split up.”

“And if we keep following that path they took without really knowing where they went, we might get lost.” Jean’s face is grey and hollow, as if cut from living rock.

“How about we climb to a higher place?” offers Sasha. “When you get lost in the mountains, climb upwards. If you get lost in a forest, climb a tree. That’s what my Pops—I mean father always told me.”

“Okay. First, we find high ground, then hopefully some signs of those fuckers. And then …” Jean looks around, as if he’s just remembered you’re all stuck in the woods in the middle of the night and maybe there are more things you should be scared of. “Well, we’ll figure out how to deal with them once we find them.”

“We stick together, we take care of each other, okay?” Marco says, sharing urgent gazes with each one of you. “You see, hear, smell anything weird, the whole group has to know.”

“Yes, sir,” you chorus as one, and even though you don’t like to think about how you unload this on Marco’s shoulders, it feels good to have him still stepping into the leader’s shoes and trying to keep you all together and at least pretend everything is under control.

He turns to you and makes sure the worst of the bleeding has stopped before he uses Mina’s tattered fabric to bandage your hands. “You remember the map? There’s a rock overhang nearby that should give us a good outlook over the whole forest.”

“It’s south-east from our camp,” you say and try not to flinch when the fabric burns against your cuts. “But I … I didn’t pay attention to where exactly they led us, and where we are now.”

“It’s fine.” Marco gives your wrists a quick, encouraging squeeze. “You did enough already.”

He turns to the others, explains where you’re going, and moves to the very front to lead. You move in the quiet of the night, a small group of hunched people one could easily mistake for malformed animals. The order is nonsensical, Marco and Mina at the front, then Connie and Sasha, and once you begin the ascent of the rock formation, Eren is glued to Armin’s side and helps him whenever he stumbles or just needs to take a quick breather.

You can’t tell what exactly it is Jean’s been waiting for, but when he falls beside you, he sticks to your side like a shadow. He’s silent for a moment, but he can’t keep the words inside him for too long before he needs them out. “How are your hands?” he starts with something safe.

You spread them before you, wiggle your fingers slightly. “The bleeding’s stopped. Didn’t cut too deep, thankfully.”

They fall back to your sides, but Jean quickly reaches out and takes one in his. You see him gnawing at his bottom lip as his fingers graze the bandages, lingering for a moment at the dark copper spots where the fabric has sucked in your blood.

“I’m sorry,” he says. His thumb brushes your knuckles, and you feel thrown back to another time, inside the infirmary where he said he would protect you from exactly this.

“What for?”

Jean lowers his head. “I ran away.”

You can’t help it, laughing a little. “You didn’t make it far.”

“I mean it,” he says, and the urgency in his voice makes you both halt. “I’m the last one who would agree with anything that suicidal maniac says, but he—he was right. All I could think of was saving my own ass. Well, getting away to get help, but ultimately.” He shakes his head. “And even then, after the—” He swallows hard. “—the shot. After the shot, you tried to come for me. You still tried to help.”

You hum, open your mouth, and the memory hits you so hard it gives you whiplash.

Crossing your arms, you cock your head towards him. “Bold that you think I’m sticking around here and wait for you.”

Emil snorts but he looks almost pleased. The crown is almost done. “You’ll be here. And I’ll come back to you. I will always come back to you.”

You bite your trembling bottom lip, press the corners of your mouth further up into a smile even though it wavers and threatens to disappear. “Oh, come on,” you say, punching his arm lightly. “You know I’ll always come back for you, Jeanbo.”

Even in the darkness, you can see him flushing hard. His shoulders shake when he takes a deep breath in, deep breath out, then blinks up at the moon. You pretend you don’t see the tears at the corners of his eyes.

“Same,” he says, and his grip around your wrist is borderline painful, but you don’t pull away. You let him hold you and reaffirm to himself that you’re safe and here. “I’ll come back for you, [Name]. We’re a team, we’ve always been a team.” He points at you, then at himself. “Pot. Kettle.”

You bump into his side.

“Heya, right now is literally the worst time to flirt, you two!” Connie calls down to you, peeking over a ledge. They’re all much further ahead than you’ve expected, getting so lost in your conversation with Jean.

Jean flips him off, and you can hear Connie’s grunt as he laughs to himself. When he turns away, you spot Eren staring down at you, but you can’t read his expression from down here, and before you can call up if everything’s alright, he’s turned away and you only see his retreating back.

You ignore how your heart shrinks to the size of a walnut. This will have to wait for later, when you can find time and peace to entangle the muddle of thoughts still occupying your mind without worrying to get shot. Or worse.

Before Jean can start the excruciating climb up the rocks, you latch onto the hem of his jacket. “What did you mean with your question?” you ask. “Earlier, I mean. What … what am I supposed to remember?”

Jean throws a quick glance up to the others, and you know there’s no time and you have to hurry. But something, even if it’s crumbs, has to appease the hunger to know inside you before this black hole swallows you. If Jean knows something, he owes you that much.

“God, it’s been so long.” Jean wipes a hand over his face. He looks exhausted. “All I remember is my parents talking about it, and asking, well…” He waves a hand in your direction as if that’s supposed to make you understand. “They asked me not to mention it so it wouldn’t trigger some unpleasant memories. Apparently someone…,” Jean trails off. He braces himself. You’ve only seen him take on that posture when he’s about to swing at Eren during an argument.

“Jean.” You tug on his jacket, feeling your hands go clammy. “I need to know. Please.”

“Someone kidnapped you, when you were little,” Jean says slowly. He falters for a moment, squeezes his eyes shut, like the memory of that conversation with his parents is still too close, too painful, excruciating. “You weren’t gone too long, they had found you on the same day. Some old fart had locked you up in his house while going about his day. It was your Dad … your Dad who found you. When I asked my Mom, she only said that your Dad made sure that guy would never steal little girls from their parents again, and I thought that meant the Garrison, or Hell even the Military Police took care of him.” He focuses on you fully now, and you wish he would stop talking. Your guts clench like someone has kicked you in the stomach.

“Your father killed that man when your captor swung a knife at you two. The Military Police ruled it self-protection and closed the case from what I overheard my parents say. You had blacked out during that fight, but when you came over to visit after that, and my Mother accidentally slipped up … you acted like it had never happened.”

You stare at him, throat tight, the cold sweat sensation of dread spreading slowly through your limbs. “How old was I?”

“Ten? Or eleven, I think?”

“And what … what did that man do to me?”

Jean’s voice is frighteningly quiet. “I don’t know.”

You feel sick. “So it could have been anything.”

“Or nothing,” Jean replies fast, sharp. “Your Dad found you really fast, I know that much. Or I mean, that’s what your parents told mine.”

You stare past his shoulder at a dark spot in the sky where black clouds have hidden away the stars. “So, my Dad saved me.”

It makes sense. The room you remember, the green wallpaper with golden flowers strewn across, the weight of an imposing man behind you. You calling for your father’s help.

And yet.

And yet.

The feeling is all wrong. You have a vague remembrance of that feeling, and it was not relief at knowing your father was on the other side of that locked, heavy door. Rather, it is closer to … harrowing, horrific fear.

As if he had left you there.

You try to shake the feeling of dread away, to push all these thoughts to the far back of your mind. If you had really lived through such a traumatic experience at such a young age, maybe you had simply suppressed those memories out of shock.

Though that doesn’t explain why you still see the fall of Wall Maria vividly as if it is the very same day, every event a clear image burnt into the backside of your closed eyes.

And why … why of all things … why had Emil never said anything to you? You would have noticed his behaviour changing—he would have worried himself sick about you.

“When we’re back in Trost, I’ll have to ask Ida about it. About everything. She should have told me at … at some point.” Not anger pangs through your chest, hot and sudden like a bullet, but an urgency that is nearly as frightening. You need to know every single detail. Right now it feels as though you are grasping for sand as it slips through your fingers, using it to rebuild the very foundation of the person that you are.

“I’m sure she, and Dad, didn’t see a point in it because you didn’t remember.” Jean juts his chin up to where the others are still waiting and continues the ascent, you hard on his heels. Quieter, he says, “Why make you scared when you were better off not knowing? They thought it kinder to spare you that.”

“Because it would have been honest.” You give him a long, hard look. “Maybe not kind, truth isn’t kind. But it is the truth.”

He turns around at that. The milky-white slant of moonlight catches in his hair, his eyes. Jean gives you a nod, easy and simple, and it weighs more than any promise he could have made.

“Let’s try to make it out of these woods first, okay?” Jean says when you’re almost at the top. “And then we can think about everything that’s happened. And write Ma a letter.”

“Yeah.” Deep breath in, deep breath out—resettle the beating of your heart and remind yourself you are not alone. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan.”

He gives you one last, fleeting look, then turns to assert the situation before him: Armin is greedily finishing up the rest of water from Mina’s field bota bag, Sasha and Connie huddle together, lost in their own quiet, private conversation. Marco and Eren perch by the edge of the cliff, both facing the forest stretching out before them.

You join them right in time when Marco whips out his binoculars to survey the area ahead.

“Found anything?” Jean asks. He kneels beside Eren, eyes roaming the horizon. Eren, in the middle of them, steals a glance at you, first at your face, then at your bandaged hands. You wiggle your fingers in his direction to show you’re alright, all fingers are still working. He purses his mouth, looking as if he doesn’t really buy it. You make your point by flipping him off good-naturedly, which at least makes the corners of his mouth twitch a little. Another small victory.

“Smoke, right there.” Marco points into the distance at a thin trail of grey smoke curling into the night sky. “Armin was right,” he continues, handing Jean the binoculars. “They’re currently camping out and loading the carts. Christa seems fine.”

“For now,” Eren bites out.

“So, what are we gonna do?” Jean lowers the binoculars. “We won’t make it in time, even if we head out immediately.”

“And unlike us, they can defend themselves.” Marco looks grim. “And I don’t want anyone else ending up like Victor.”

“I … I might have an idea.” You all turn at the timid sound of Armin’s voice. He’s wiping his mouth dry quickly, and hands Mina’s flask back. He looks over at you sharply, his eyes glinting with steely determination. “But I need your help.”

Suddenly, everyone is looking at you as if you owe them something. You want to take a step back, but there’s only a cliff and a steep fall waiting behind you. Literally.

“Okay.” You pull at the loose threads coming off the bandages. “Shoot.”

“We might have to head back to camp anyway to get some of the stuff we’ll need, but I want to be sure just in case, and you’re really good at memorising maps. How many wide exits are there in this forest?”

“Wide exits?”

“Wide as in wide enough to let them pass through with multiple carriages.”

You turn, take a good, long look at the forest with its tall reaching green peaks like gnarly fingers waiting to snap at whatever dares to come too close. You recognise some landmarks from the map: two giant rock formations facing each other, a smaller one right behind them—the points of a triangle. Mountains encircle the forest, high in the east, dipping down a little and rising again towards the south.

You point a finger towards them, and say, “That’s the closest exist in this area. The other two wide enough for them to leave are in the opposite direction. I’m pretty sure the road over there divides into two routes after you clear the forest.”

“Then that’s where we’ll ambush them. Once they enter the wider exit, we don’t stand a chance, so we have to lead them back into the forest.” Armin turns to Sasha. “Can you lead us there? We’ll have to head back to camp first, get ropes and some other things. But can you bring us over there?”

Sasha takes in the area, lips puckered in concentration. She grins. It isn’t a pleasant sort of grin; too many teeth, too feral. It makes you want to kiss her.

“No problem,” she says at last. “I can get us there fast enough, even without horses.”

Armin heaves a relieved sigh, but his expression quickly turns sour at the sight of having to climb the mountain all the way down again. When Eren notices and offers to give him a piggy-back ride, Armin declines vehemently.

“Okay, so what’s your plan exactly,” Jean asks halfway down the mountain. Whenever he stumbles or trips on loose rocks, his hands shoot out to hold onto Marco to steady himself, which is cute, or onto you, which is annoying because you can’t even carry half his weight.

“We block off the route leading to the wider exit by putting a tree in their way. That’s where the ropes come into play. Three of us will stay at the road fork and detour the carts. The rest will wait ahead until they arrive. I think it’s best only two hide in trees and jump onto the carts to attack them.”

“I’ll go,” Eren immediately says.

“I’ll go, too,” Jean quickly follows up. You want to catch his eye, but he’s staring ahead stubbornly.

“How do we figure out which carriage are Christa and our ODM gear are in?” you ask. Little rocks give away under your foot, but before you can slip, Jean has a strong hand around your arm and hauls you up.

It is Marco that answers: “The ODM gear should be easy. The roads leading back into the forest will be rocky and bumpy. If we hear a rattling sound, we’ll be able to tell.”

“The leftover cans at camp,” Armin says. “We can use them to give the sign.”

Marco nods. “If the equipment is in the first carriage, I’ll pull once. If it’s the one after, then twice. If it’s both, I’ll pull three times.”

“Okay, that’s a fucking great plan,” says Jean. “But let’s hurry back, or else we’ll never catch up to them.”

With every step closer back to camp, putting foot before foot becomes more difficult, as if your limbs are heavy with lead. You don’t want to see Victor’s corpse and be reminded of what happened earlier, but as you move on, with no chance to stand still, you brace yourself for the worst.

The worst you have imagined, it turns out, is still tame compared to the actual sight. Within minutes after he’s died, blow flies have arrived and now swarm around Victor’s blown head. Even from a good few feet away, you see them scurrying around, diving into the openings of his body and the big hole at the side of his face to lay their eggs into his rotting meat.

You try to swallow around the lump in your throat, noticing the sour taste of rising bile spreading inside your mouth. Quickly, you turn away before yesterday’s meal comes back up to greet you.

The sudden movement of you turning around startles Eren, who has crept up behind you, and out of instinct, you guess, he grabs your shoulders to steady you, probably worried you were about to pass out.

“Woah, easy there.” He has to lower his head a little to get to your eye level. “You okay?”

The look on your face must be answer enough, because he winces at his question. “Right, sorry.”

His eyes drift over to Victor’s body, and as you watch him you are surprised there isn’t any strong emotion on his face. No disgust, no sorrow, like having the dead remains of a former comrade—even though he was a bad person and not very kind—is a completely normal thing.

“Uhm, Eren.”

He still isn’t looking at you. “Hm?”

“You can let me go now, I’m good.”

“Oh.” Eren’s eyes sweep over at you. His hands loosen their grip on your shoulders, but instead of falling back to his side, they slowly slide down your arms—as if they have a mind of their own, confused and a little lost without your shoulders as anchors to hold onto.

Eren blinks, gaze darting to your mouth, and then quickly away. “I think that was the first time.”

You roll your shoulders, still feeling the touch of his fingers as if they have seared their imprint through the solid fabric of your jacket right into your skin. “First time for what?”

“That you called me by my name. Not Jaeger.”

“Oh. Well. Almost dying together earns me that privilege, I think.”

He gives a little, dry chuckle. Somehow, you feel that as long as he can laugh, everything is going to be okay. Eren looks at you, slow and hard, and then smiles. His green eyes light up. “Then I have earned it as well,” he says. “[Name].”

You have never thought about your name much before, but when he says it, it is as if you are hearing it for the first time, and suddenly you are aware of how intimate calling each other by the first name is, and how much you like the sound of your name on his lips. Your breath is very short when you repeat, softly, “Eren.”

“Yes?” Amusement glitters in his eyes.

With a sort of horror you realise that you have simply said his name for the sake of saying it; you haven’t actually had a question—you just craved another taste of his name in your mouth. Hastily, you stumble over the words even though you don’t know where they might lead, “When Victor got shot, there was an owl. Wasn’t that weird?”

If he finds your sudden change of topic strange or suspicious, he doesn’t show it. “Weird how?”

“That it was there at all. I didn’t know they’d be so close to the ground when people are around.”

Eren shrugs. “Nothing weird about it. It was probably just looking for food.”

You don’t know much about owls, but that doesn’t seem right. Feel right. You rub your heavy eyelids, feeling a dull throb crawling along the back of your head. Was it all just bad timing? Fate? You don’t know what would have happened if it had been you spinning to the bottom of the Wheel of Fortune.

“We’ve decided you’ll stay with Marco and Armin to give us the signal when to attack.” Eren’s voice is suddenly close as he dips his head to you as if he’s sharing a secret. You blink up at him, ready to argue which he reads in your face as if it is an open book. “[Name], think about it. You’re hurt. Marco is right, you’ve done enough.”

It is hard to argue against this, with your palms cut open and still hurting. Still, somehow you feel like there is more you can do, should do. You move away from Victor’s body, scanning the ground for empty cans. Eren sticks to your side.

“We only get one chance at saving Christa,” he continues. “If we mess it up, she’s as good as dead. Our gear will be gone. But there’s no way we’ll mess this up. We got three cadets from the top here, we’ll save her.”

It’s sweet that he tries to comfort you, thinking your hesitation is because you’re scared of failing. You should just thank him and catch up with the rest.

Instead, you blurt, “Do you like Christa?” and immediately regret having opened your mouth.

Eren blinks as if he’s been knocked off his feet and he’s still trying to understand what has hit him. “She’s a comrade, so … yeah?” He frowns as if you’ve spoken a different language and he’s realising maybe his answer is completely wrong. “I mean, sometimes she creeps me out with all that holier than thou, being super friendly. All that benevolence has to drive her insane at some point. And it’s creepy sometimes.”

That wasn’t what you meant but you’re not too keen to explain what answer you actually want from him.

“Maybe you’re having a hard time understanding her,” you say, noticing how much easier it is to fall back into teasing banter and light-hearted jabs, “because you don’t know how to be nice.”

“I can be plenty nice if I want to.” He narrows his eyes at you, and it feels like there is more behind this; as if there is something else layered in his words but you are missing the respective key to unlock the door and get behind the meaning.

Before you can say anything else, Connie wedges himself between you two. You didn’t even notice how close you and Eren stood.

“Hate to break ya up, but we’re leaving,” he announces. Eyes half-closed, he’s wearing this expression you’ve come to associate with Conny being tired of some shit—you just never expected to get the brunt of it.

He has probably known it long before you.

Everybody has known it long before you, but you were oblivious to the signs, maybe even a little scared to pay them too much attention.

It will still take another two years until you finally find the courage to tiptoe closer to the edge, only to have Eren yank you down into the void with him.

Armin’s plan worked out splendidly, which was a surprise to no one.

After Christa’s heartfelt plea to spare the men, held at blade-edge by Mikasa and Annie who managed to find your group after Armin had used Sasha’s signal flare, Thomas and Bertholdt had rode out to inform the instructors of what had transpired and where the remaining recruits were holding the attackers captive until reinforcements arrived.

Once their headwear was off and you had a good look at the faces of your assaulters, it was easy to see them for what they were: miserable men trying to get by with any means necessary. Thieves and beggars, left of any other civil option to provide for their families.

You couldn’t say it out loud then, but there was no ounce of pity for them inside you. Everybody seemed to simply agree with Christa’s noble spirit, that killing them was wrong; that making them pay for what they did was not the solution. It didn’t sit right with you. Only one look at Eren was enough to tell you he might be the only one sharing that sentiment.

A quarter of a day was all it took for Shadis to arrive, with him the Military Police soldiers from Trost. They took the men away in police carriages, sending them to the inner Wall where they would be judged and locked away. You didn’t want to think what that would mean for their families, the very reason they got into this in the first place. Maybe there are worse things than death.

Depending on how many recruits passed away within three months after the last, obsequies were held at the end of the third month. Because Victor Hoffmann had been the only one, the instructors deemed it sufficient to simply cremate his remains and send them back to his relatives in a simple wooden box with his possessions. Shortly after that, both his friends Albert Kleinstein and Edmund Rowe left the military service. All three, gone. Just like that.

A day after, you had sent a letter to Ida and Felix, asking for every detail from that day seven years ago when you were kidnapped. It was weird, how while you were sitting down and forming the words on the paper, each ink stroke unravelled the tight knot in your stomach—all of a sudden it all had seemed not important anymore. What could you do with that information?

Seven years later, with the villain of your little story dead, and your hero as well. Would knowing change anything for you? Why did it feel as if all the threads and weaves holding you together suddenly became unknitted and the person you see in the mirror every morning appeared to slowly turn into a stranger.

At least the ring hanging on the thin golden chain always remained the same. At least there was one part of your past that remained a constant and steady point around which you rotated—a sun to your star system.

That concludes the low-risk Wasteland Excursion, one you’re sure the instructors will tell every following cadet corps in the years to come.

“Low-risk my ass,” Jean mumbles. His dirty hair falls into his eyes as he leans over his lap, fumbling with a loose screw on his turbine. The tip of his nose is red and his words come out in little puffs and dense clouds. Winter is approaching, fast and hard, and you couldn’t be happier for Ida’s care package to arrive in two weeks with hopefully a new scarf and a warm pair of gloves. Gear maintenance is all that’s left for today, then you’re allowed to hit the showers and call it a day. “Every single one of us should get a fucking medal for putting up with those thieves and catching them.”

“I can already imagine what Shadis would say to that.” You lower your voice. “Are you chipmunks going to expect us to give you a medal every time you return from a fight? Get back after you killed some real Titans and maybe I’ll give you a pat on the shoulder. Now scram.”

“That was a good impression,” Jean allows. “But he would never call us chipmunks.”

“I love chipmunks,” is all Marco contributes before he dives back refilling his gas cylinder.

“I think at least Marco and Thomas should get bonus points for holding the groups together.” You glance over at him, noticing how his hair has grown and how he always brushes it behind his ears whenever he is flustered. “You guys were great leaders.”

“I don’t know if I should have accepted the leader position, to be honest.” Marco smiles sheepishly at you. “But thanks.”

“Why not?” Jean breathes on the metal case of his housing, polishing the surface. “You did a good job. I think it fits you.”

Marco tugs his hair behind his ears. “Nah, I’m not suited to be a leader. You’re more up for that job, Jean.”

At that, Jean looks up. They share a look that seems like a dare. Eventually, Jean goes back to work. “Why’s that?” he asks.

“I don’t think you’re ready to hear it yet. But someday, I’ll tell you.”

“Am I ready to hear it?” you ask.

Marco grins and leans over, his voice very quiet and very deep in your ear. “I just really enjoy looking at him from behind.”

Oh.

He leans away, giving you a quick wink. Your little secret. You’re pretty sure your face is on fire right now.

“What did he say, tell me,” Jean demands.

You mimic sealing your mouth shut and throwing the key away. Jean kicks at your foot in a half-hearted attempt to make you talk. He points a finger accusingly in your and Marco’s direction. “You’re ganging up on me. Is this how it’s going to be from now on? Leaving me out? Dear God, don’t make me have to befriend Jaeger.”

“Eren can’t stand you,” you point out.

“Armin, then.”

“Armin’s too smart for you.”

“Keep talking and I’ll dunk your head inside a latrine.”

Marco laughs, but it quickly trickles away into a somewhat sorrowful smile. “Do you guys think we can spend all our days like this?”

“Together?” you ask.

“Mocking each other?” Jean offers.

“Yeah, together.” Marco looks at you two, and he somehow looks much younger and older at the same time. “Jean and I want to join the Military Police and you’ll go to the Garrison, but maybe we can still … you know.” He shrugs a little helplessly. “Still hang out.”

“I think [Name] and I are ready to broaden our horizons, open the gates.” Jean claps his hands, then spreads them wide as if he is a pastor ready to absolve Marco. “Let someone new in and become a trio.”

He wiggles his fingers, looking at you and Marco expectantly. Marco scoots closer, allowing Jean to leisurely throw an arm around his shoulder. Now they both look at you expectantly.

“I’m good, guys,” you say, blowing off fine iron dust from your hooks, satisfied with the result. “There are more priorities on my list, sorry.”

Jean rolls his eyes. “Like what?”

“A long, hot shower.”

Marco sighs, but he is in no hurry to untangle Jean’s arm from his shoulders. “She’s got a point.”

“You can’t run from the Jean-Marco-[Name] sandwich forever,” Jean says, pointing at you. He then turns to Marco. “And to answer your question, no. I don’t think we’ll stay together forever. We grow up, we find our own things to do. But what’s important is that we’re in each other’s hearts … or …. some shit … like that,” Jean finishes quietly at the baffled gazes you and Marco level him with. It takes only one second for his face to become the colour of the red roses on the Garrison soldier’s uniforms, and he quickly tries to hide it behind Ida’s scarf she knitted him two years ago.

“That was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said, I think,” you say in awe. “Who are you and where is the real Jean?”

“Shut up and go take a shower.” He pushes you off your stool. “Try not to drown or whatever.”

You laugh until the muscles in your face strain, until your belly hurts. You laugh, because it is easier than finding the words that you too wish the same.

All three of you don’t make a promise on it because you know that would be too cruel.

❀❀❀

When you call to me asleep, up the sandy hills I scramble. A single thread hangs limply down, and I breathe, “Not now, not now.” I find you all unwoven, trying desperately to sew. And I know the kindest thing is to leave you alone. Yet I am selfish. I want every part of me to crash into every part of you, and I swear that is how stars are born.

When your seams have come unknitted, and you cry out to the sky, I’ve run out of my words, my song, just let me die, me die. The rockrose and the thistle will whistle as you mourn. I could try to calm you down, but I know you won’t.

All the pins inside your fretted head and your muttered “Whens” and “Hows;” all your mother’s weaves and your father’s threads, let me rob you of them now. Because I will darn you back together when you think that you’re bereft, and you’ll wail, you’ll scream, but I will never stop, because you are all that I have left.

I awake and hear you calling, and up those hills I climb. And I find you with a thimble weeping; “May I”, I ask, “may I?”

And you gently gift it to me because you have no clue how to sew.

And I know the kindest thing—I pray to both our Gods, it is the kindest thing … I know the kindest thing is to never leave you alone.

Rockrose (also cistus of the Cistaceae plant family) in the Victorian language of flowerssymbolizes imminent death.

Thistle: In Celtic countries, the associations are positive, and the flower symbolises resilience, strength, determination, protection and pride. The flower’s purple and pink colours represent royalty. In Victorian England, the thistle signified pain, aggression and intrusion.

These whole last part in cursive are the lyrics of Rockrose and Thistle by The Amazing Devil. I’ve changed a few words to make it fit, but I don’t take credit for this poetic master piece.

***

A/N: y’all, connie knows

so yeah, we got a little more! i'm so eager to hear everyone's thoughts and theories! especially the last part, this song/poem plays a huge role in explaining why Reader (doesn't) remember(s) certain things, or other people recall them differently… interesting, isn't it. i'm happy to be back and can't wait to give you more!! stay healthy everyone!

[magical-bigbang-noona]

So, I didn't know this, because as I said I've been on a long "No S* and his toxic stans idiocy" hiatus, but his official Instagram was removed (last year?) because he is a convicted sex offender.

Let's say that again for all the stans in the back with their blinders on and fingers firmly planted in their ears.

Convicted. Sex. Offender.

He is a convicted sex trafficker. Let's review the part in the court document reveals where it's stated that, among the 29 counts of sex trafficking they could prove, was him personally picking up guests/clients from Japan, being present in the car where sex services took place with sex workers he provided and paid for , all while transporting the entire group to a hotel where the sexual services continued.

Yeah. Let that one sink in.

Then, again, there is the ultimate capper where the court proved he persuaded three young women to pose nude together in bed which he filmed personally and then subsequently uploaded it to a molka chat on Kakao. While they were on a fan promotion tour.

If you're still in deep denial and/or beating the drums in praise of this man then you have a problem and if documented court proceedings showing exactly what he was convicted of won't move your stubborn brain on this matter then nothing can.

And good luck thinking a convicted sex offender with a long record who served time is going to be back on top of the heap, welcomed back to the industry he fled like a coward, resume his career, and perform for you like nothing ever happened.

In Korea? As high profile as this whole thing has been? I don't think so.

On a side note I also thank God that at least three of the four members finally left the YG dumpster fire. I hope GD will follow suit, especially now that YG himself is back like a cockroach, but that's my opinion and his own business.

[laffy-taffy-creations]

This is for dayyyyy 15!

This was cross-posted on AO3 here

Some Wounds Can't Be Healed

Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | "I'm fine"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Words: 1,253

Warnings: near death, stab wounds, past human experimentation, mentioned kidnapping, child abuse, child trauma, ptsd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I don't need you to help me, I can handle things myself."

"OV! You have a stab wound through your godsdamned gut! You are not doing this mission without help!" Kiri shouted at me.

"I'm fine. Leave me alone."

"Absolutely not! I know you're the only one that can hack their servers, but-"

I cut him off with a punch to a wall that left some cracks in the concrete. He flinched back.

"Okay, I get that you're strong and can handle yourself, but you still-"

"Zip it. I do not need your help on this. You can follow me if you feel like it but no interfering, got it?"

He nodded enthusiastically, all too willing to follow me into danger's door. Probably hoping to at least keep me away from death's door.

----《 ¤ 》----

He followed me through the base wincing each time I did at any aggravation to the injury, but ultimately followed my directions and didn't interfere.

I picked the lock to the server room and got us in, immediately sensing a trap. 'There's a trap here somewhere, be on your toes.'

The whole thing was as close to a wet dream as I'd probably get being an ace tech nerd. So many servers and racks of information, all ready for the taking…

Focus. You're here to hack the servers and get the required information, nothing else…

The interface was like something from a movie, several large screens up against one of the walls. I found the keyboard and started up the system, tapping away at a password by-pass and navigating through the files to find the required information.

"You're pretty quick at that…"

"For someone who has a stab through their gut?" I mocked.

I got out my flash drive, the wrong one, and uploaded Donovan into the systems, making sure he was secure enough to continue his own upload via wireless connection before removing it and switching it out for the right drive this time.

I put the desired information on it and turned off the interface.

"I told you, it wouldn't be that big a deal. It's just a simple stab wound. Seriously, we're pros now, you have had years of first hand experience with how indestructible I am."

"That doesn't mean you can be reckless! You still need someone just in case if you have a major injury."

"A stab wound to my gut is not a major injury."

"YES THE FUCK IT IS!"

"Is not."

"Blackout, NOBODY BUT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO SURVIVE A GASH LIKE THAT WITHOUT IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION."

"That's an 'everyone else' problem then."

"Don't you dare say you're 'built different'-"

"I'm just built different from all you hoes. Now c'mon, we need to get going. Just because it doesn't impede me doesn't mean it doesn't fucking hurt."

"I am going to hit you with a book once you're better."

I started walking back the way we came. "I'd like to see you try-"

A knife through my throat cut me off for 2 reasons. 1, it was now blocking my ability to speak, and 2, even if it wasn't it shocked me enough where I would've stopped anyway.

"VEE!"

I knew there was a fucking trap!

I staggered a little bit, but managed to keep my composure.

For the sake of not being questioned I should have at least fake passed out if not fake died temporarily, but instead I decided to take out the knife, angry as fuck and ready to bash in the skull of whoever threw it at me.

"Show yourself you coward!" I shouted as best I could.

I heard my attacker from the other side of the door. "How the fuck-"

"I SAID SHOW YOURSELF BITCH!"

I charged at the doorway where it'd been thrown from.

Part of the wall cracked and crumbled where I ended up hitting it, and the villain that dared to poke the already wounded and angry bear began to recoil. Apparently me surviving a knife to the throat was not in their plan.

I tackled them and locked their wrists in some power-blocking cuffs, before my adrenaline began to leave me and the sheer agony almost made me pass out.

Kiri was right behind me, catching me before I hit anything and dragged me off the incapacitated villain. He fix the bandages on my stomach that got messed up somehow and cut part off, securing it around my neck.

"I'm telling you Vee, shit like this is why you need a back-up."

I groaned as he called in for some help and picked me up, carrying me out of the building.

"Don't you dare hand me off to those bastards."

"Vee, you can make demands once you're not on the brink of passing out."

"I'm fine."

"No, no you're not."

Painful as it was, I resituated myself a bit to punch him in the arm. It was weak, but even my version of weak ended up being relatively strong when I had some control over myself.

"You punching me does nothing."

"Fuuuck, fine, but just don't hand me off to the medics. I don't like dealing with questions."

"The medics are the reason you're still standing."

"Newsflash, the medics aren't the ones that healed me after every dire situation you've seen me in."

He paused. "I'm still handing you over to them."

"No the fuck you're not."

"...I'll bite, if the medics haven't been healing you, who has?"

"Me."

"Vee."

"I'm not fucking joking. Put me down, I'll prove it."

----《 ¤ 》----

I hissed at the feeling of undoing the bandages. The fact I really needed to get rid of them did nothing to soothe the agitation it caused my body.

Kiri waited patiently until I'd fully uncovered the wound. "Okay, now what?"

I took a deep breath in and focused my energy towards the first of the extra quirks that had been forced onto me. A ball of green light formed around my palm and I held it up to the wound.

He watched in awe as it sealed itself up and I sighed in relief.

"How long have you been hiding that from everyone?" He asked in an accusatory tone.

"How long have you known me?" I shot back, undoing the hastily done wrap around my neck. After I healed that I picked up both the bandages to be thrown in the trash.

"Vee… this really doesn't seem like something you should be hiding."

"How so?"

"It just… we're you're friends, knowing you have a healing quirk would be not only beneficial as friends, but also useful, y'know?"

"No, I don't know how sharing extra-personal information is helpful to people."

"What exactly makes it so extra-personal? It's just another quirk, is it not?"

No, because I got it through being experimented on. No, because it was forced upon me. No, because I was kidnapped to have it. No, because it's not the only one I was forced to have. No, because it has major ties to my trauma.

"No," I answered.

"Well then explain it to me. I don't care how messy it is. Just tell me."

What do I tell him? Do I talk about the kidnapping? The child-abuse? The need to grow up way to quickly? The need to fend for myself starting at 9? The way I was treated? Which of the pro-heroes did this?

"I-it… it was…" I started, before I started to cry. He was quick to pull me into a hug.

I never finished that sentence.

[choface]

the coachella uploads of man I feel like a women, AIW, and Kiwi are so crispy HD 😍

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Looking for a Place to Happen 2

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), age gap, general stupidity, some violence and threats

This is dark!biker!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Series Synopsis: There’s lots happening in Birch and you find it all too amusing.

Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, Little Bones, and Fully Completely

Note: Here’s chapter two. Think I’ll probably slow down writing. Appreciate y’all.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Chapter 2: I follow every little whiff

💀💀💀

You gave yourself a day off that week. Rather, the desolation of Birch allowed you an excuse to get away from your desk. An internet outage across the town had you up and wandering the main road just after noon. Your grandmother refused to join you so she was left to her true crime novel and the weekday droning of talk show hosts.

After a peek in the book shop where you picked out some used thrillers for your nan and a guilty splurge on one of Babs' pies to add to the surprise, you stopped by the diner and had some soup to warm up from the unrelenting cold. You played around on your phone as you blindly slurped from your spoon. With no available connection, you swapped candies to achieve a score high enough to get to the next round.

After another loss, you put your screen down and added some pepper to the tomato soup. You leaned your chin in your hand and peered across the road. The Asp was just diagonal from The Chipped Saucer and from your seat by the window you could see the comings and goings of the dingy bar.

You chuckled to yourself as you remembered the hundreds of comments on your video. You weren't entirely surprised that the internet cheered at the sight of a woman beating up a man in broad daylight, you'd seen much worse on the web. But many were curious and asked about how it started and about the small town alluded to in the caption.

You picked up your phone and flipped open the camera. You pointed it through the glass as one of the many bikers strutted out of the bar and down the street. You knew him, like most in town, he was the leader's right hand man. Steve Rogers. He had an odd gait, rigid with long strides, and you remember Kelly used to make fun of him when you walked home from school. That felt like forever ago.

You ended the video and dropped your phone again. You'd send it to Kelly when the outage was over. It would be a good laugh. Plus, you hadn't heard from her much since she moved to the city.

You finished your soup and paid. You went out into the street and cut around to the backstreets. You made your way back to your nans and found Pippin scratching at the front door. You stopped and scooped him up before you let yourself in.

"Don't like the snow, do ya?" You set him down and he whipped his tail before skittering off, "hey nan, I got you some stuff."

"You spend too much," she grumbled as you hung your coat and grabbed her treats.

"Only on you," you sang as you entered the front room, "sugarless blueberry pie, your fave, and some books about murder and all that freaky stuff you love."

"Hmm," she watched you put the pie and books down on the coffee table, "suppose the pie will go good with tea."

"Ah, and I suppose I'll be making that tea?" You returned.

"My arthritis…" she pouted but her grin came through.

"Yeah, yeah," you snickered as you went to the kitchen to put on the kettle, "we going black today or something lighter?"

"Put on some of the pekoe," she called back, "make a whole pot."

"Will do, ma'am," you trilled and basked in her annoyed mutter.

💀

When the internet came back, you sent of an email to inform the agency of the interruption and promised to meet your deadlines. Then you puttered around and added a caption to the video before you sent it off to Kelly; 'why he walk like that tho'. She sent a series of crying emojis back and told you to post it.

'Nah, it's a dumb joke.' You typed back.

'Saw ur last vid, ppl will eat it up,' she insisted.

'Well, got nothing else to put up. The account’s dying since no one cares about my writing.'

'DO IT.' Her words sealed your resolve and you uploaded the video with some dramatic music in the background.

The response was almost instantaneous. Several comments saying they were happy to see more and others being for another video. 'We all wanna see inside this fucked up town' one added and several latched on. Ignoring the questions of where this was, you gave a thin promise of future small town thug content. 

You turned back to your work email and opened up your draft for your next gig. You couldn't help but smile as you went over your work. You might have just found your niche.

💀

You knew your nan would lose it if she knew you were snooping around the club, so you didn’t tell her. You went down, made her breakfast, went back upstairs to do your work, then tiptoed out in the late afternoon to poke around town for something to upload. Birch was so dull when you lived there but to those outside, it was a novelty you were all too eager to provide.

You got more videos of the bikers; some revving their bikes, others arguing, but there was nothing overly usable. You were getting bored of it until the man himself walked out of the bar. You record the man’s glower expression as he marched down the sidewalk and turned off just down the way.

‘His name is Bucket… wtf?!’ you keyed in and snorted as you waited for it to load to your account.

Still, there was nothing special going on, like always in Birch, and your grandmother was bound to get suspicious if you kept sneaking around. You went back and hid your phone before she could bitch about it. You cooked her dinner and sat with her as your thoughts swung between work and your TikTok.

You went to bed but couldn’t sleep. You ended up watching YouTube on your phone as the windows shook with the night winds. It wasn’t until the darkness began to glow that you were roused from the cocoon of your comforter. You looked out and saw smoke coming from the main road.

You didn’t think before you pulled on your jeans and shoved your feet into your slipper, unconcerned about them soaking through as you barreled down the stairs, the sleeves of your hoodie only half on. The back door bounced behind you and you crunched down into the snow and clamored past the row of lifeless houses. 

You were out of breath as you got to the end of the path and rounded the diner to gape over at the burning garage. You got closer as the line of bikers stood in their leather with breath puffing before them in the frigid night. You stepped back into the shadow of the brick façade of the realty office and swiped your camera open.

Your hands shook and you struggled to steady the image on the screen as the mechanic woman raged in only her tee shirt. You didn’t quite understand what was going on; only that her garage was up in smoke and then men were doing nothing to smother it. She swung at the dark haired man and spat at several others; “cowards”... “fuck all of you!”

You gulped and held your breath as she was dragged away by the large redheaded henchman of the slender outsider. She fought for a moment before she was flung over his shoulder and the biker followed their leader back to The Asp. You sidled in between the building and hid until the voices faded into the wind.

Well, that would be a hell of a video. It might even go viral.

💀

Your phone did not stop. You almost felt bad as you saw the screen limn the edges of your cell as you left it face down on the little table beside the couch. Your nan sat in her rocking chair talking away on her corded phone to Linette from down the road. You suspected that every other person in town was gossiping about the same thing; the fire.

You finished your coffee and rubbed your eyes as you checked the time and ignored the pulsing notifications. It was too much to keep up with.

Your grandmother hung up and sighed, “can’t believe it. You hear?”

“Hear what?” you pretended ignorance.

“That old garage burned down. The one with the lady,” she said, “pity. When I was a girl, that place was a salon. Ma used to take us there to get our hair cut. The barber would give us wrapped candies and pretend to cut himself with his scissors.”

“Oh? It burned down?” you weren’t sure you were very convincing but you also could just say you saw it happen.

“Yep, no one really can say. You know, maybe she was welding or some rag caught, but I bet my money on those bikers,” she sneered.

“Good thing you’re poor,” you kidded, “and why the bikers?”

“Oh, well, you know Kimmy, Linette’s girl, works down at the diner and she saw that mechanic arguing with one of those strangers, the ones dealing with the club men. Well, it’s no coincidence that trouble follows those leather jackets around,” she rocked as she nodded knowingly, “oh, one of the boys I knew back in the day, he was found burnt up with his bike. They said the tank blew… well, I saw it and that tank was pristine.”

“Nan,” you gasped, “you… Jesus.”

“Well, things don’t change in Birch, we just get older,” she continued, “when you’re young, everything seems new but then you age and it’s all just the same.”

“Wow, how… inspiring,” you said dryly.

“Girlie, you gotta be careful,” she intoned, “that fire, that’s a lesson to all the women in this town. To everyone. You don’t cross the Commandos.”

“I don’t think anyone--”

“That’s another thing, there has never been a shortage of stupid people, not now not then,” she girded, “those women who get tied up in that club, their lives are already done.”

You frowned and hid your phone in your pocket as you stood. You rubbed your neck and picked up your empty mug, “I should get started.”

“Mmm,” she said as she dialed the phone again, “I wonder if Fran knows yet.” 

💀

You were being really fucking stupid but peer pressure was not a logical thing. Even through a screen, you found it hard to resist the goads. So there you were, your phone in your hand as you live-streamed your walk down to The Asp. The data costs alone would make you regret it but you were caught up in the hype of you fifteen second of internet fame.

“Alright,” you stopped across the street and gave a view of the moniker with Cleopatra sultrily looking down at you, “this is it… I just gotta play it cool…” you turned the lens towards you and smiled nervously, “hopefully that dude at the front doesn’t stop me.”

Comments flicked up the bottom of the screen so fast and smilies and hearts floated up the side around your face. You crossed the screen as you turned your phone against your coat and approached the bar door. The large biker butted out his smoke and you bared your teeth nervously. He didn’t stop you as he rolled his shoulders and coughed.

You entered to the noise of classic rock and low voices, the clink of glasses and tap of chalk on marble. You glanced around and quickly swept your phone around to give a view of the patrons. You hurried over to the bar and climbed up on a stool.

“You need a drink?” the woman behind the bar scowled. She looked worn out even with her lips painted bright pink and her eyes clouded with blue shadow.

“Uh, sure, can I… can I get one pint of everything you have on tap?” you asked as you set your phone down and shrugged out of your coat. You draped it over the next stool and reposition your phone as you flipped the cam and used the built in stand on the case to angle yourself onto the screen.

“Sure,” she narrowed her eyes and glanced past you.

You swung your feet as you waited for her to pour the five pints; some with too much foam and the others with no head at all. You took the first and held it up for the camera.

“A classic, BudLight,” you held it up to the light, “no head and…” you sipped, “flat.” You plunked it down and coughed as you grabbed the next, “this is a raddler?” you looked at the tap for confirmation, “grapefruit… smells like piss…” you had a sip, “tastes like it too.”

You chuckled to yourself and asked for a water. You made a show of swishing it around in your mouth before you moved onto the third beer.

“Had to cleanse the palate,” you joked, “now… lots of foam on this one, dark. You know, I’m pretty surprised they have Guinness here but let’s see…” you tasted it and crinkled your nose, “that’s it. Exactly like toilet water!”

You read some of the comments telling you to check the bottles for bugs and laughed. Suddenly you were yanked off the stool by the back of your shirt and your phone was swiped up by another man as the first restrained you. You struggled against his thick arm as it hooked around your neck and the leader of their crew stared at the screen of your cell.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he snarled as he hit the screen with his thumb but the stream kept going. He dropped the phone to the floor and stomped it instead.

“This is the bitch posting about us online,” the man at your back growled. It was Steve, the one with the weird walk.

“I doubt either of you know how to use a computer,” you scoffed, “hey, let me go.”

“And why would we do that when you’re snitching to the whole world, sweetheart?” Bucky kicked your phone away as he crossed his arms.

“Actually, I’m--” you grasped Steve’s arm as it threatened to get tighter, “--promoting your trash business. I was just having a tasting, if you had just asked--”

“Shut up!” Bucky stepped closer and brought your legs up and stopped him as you planted your feet against his stomach.

“Hey,” a woman’s voice came from behind the bar as the waitress shoved aside her empty tray, “hey, she’s just a kid.”

“Bullshit,” Bucky huffed, “she looks full-grown to me.”

“So what are you gonna do?” she said, “she’s young. You can’t--”

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do,” he snapped.

“She’s right,” another voice intoned and that man, Sam, came up beside them with a pool cue in hand, “she’s just goofing around.”

“She’s a rat,” Steve insisted.

“You’re being dramatic. It’s called a meme and you do walk a little strange,” he chuckled, “no one’s gonna follow her breadcrumbs back to this shithole anyway.”

Bucky considered Sam and then looked at Steve. He poked his cheek with his tongue and sucked his teeth.

“So… you vouching for her?” Bucky asked.

“She won’t cause any more trouble, promise,” Sam said, “I’ll make sure of it.”

“You better,” Bucky snapped his fingers and you were released, “get her out of here.” 

[heyheydidjaknow]

It may be past midnight but a chapter is being uploaded so it’s not awful. I thought to make this longer but I promised something by Sunday and I’ll probably do that later when sickness decides to give me a god damn break. Anywho, no, this creature of mine is not dead quite yet, so yay to that. Hopefully the next chapter will be out sooner than this one. As always, precious chapters are at the end.

Chapter 23

You have had entirely too much soup since you have been here.

Your desire to eat soup is one that you do not understand. Apparently, it aligns with what you should be eating, according to what you can find on the subject in various medical journals. Nothing heavy until your body gets used to food again; all the broth you drank the next day was so diluted you barely tasted the chicken. You have promoted yourself to proper chicken soup with rice recently— good rice, since you have time. It is the kind you used to eat back home. When you cooked it back in your apartment— no need to hide out underground if nobody would logically want to camp outside— you started crying from the smell, you think. You must have because you had wiped your eyes with tomato and lemon juice on your fingers and had rushed to a tap to clear the angry liquid out. You had then cried at the tap at the sight of yourself; you have cried quite a bit since going back to your apartment.

You have chosen to believe that that had more to do with starvation than stress.

You are baffled, frankly, that you have yet to get sick of the stuff after eating it for so long. You stare at the liquid in its metal container, fingers hovering over your keyboard, pondering this. You suppose anything and everything tastes good to you. Maybe this is when you should try to acclimate yourself to foods you have previously hated. Maybe you will like them if you just eat a lot of them now. Maybe something good can come from this whole thing. Maybe.

You briefly feel your soul leave your body at a tap on your shoulder. “How is it?”

“Fine.” You try to slow your breathing. “It’s good. It’s soup,” you smile, “so it’s hardly anything, really.”

Donnie nods, shakes his head. “Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Stupid question. May I see your hand?”

You glance down at it on instinct. The scars seem almost to glare at you, and you shrink away from them, ever the coward. “Why?”

“I’m making something.” He shows a lump of what looks like rags. “I don’t know what size your hand is, though.”

You close your device, offering the appendage to him. “What will it do?”

“The device?” He pulls up a stool and sets a tin of needles on the counter. “In theory, a lot of things. Could you spread your fingers?”

You do. “Such as?”

He slips the rag carefully over your hand— it looks like a glove. “Well,” he picks up one of the needles carefully, “a taser, for one.”

“You’re putting a taser in a glove?”

He smiles shyly. “I’d sure like to.”

Your eyes shift to focus on a diagram hanging from the wall. “Who would it shock?”

“So long as you don’t shower with it or anything? Presumably anyone you can wrap your hands around.” Carefully, he starts to tighten the material. “Based on the prototype I made, it shouldn’t hurt the user.”

“Shouldn’t?”

He slides one of the needles into the fabric, keeping it in place. “Under the assumption that your skin and my skin are equally good conductors, then the worst you’ll feel is a static shock.”

“Under the assumption.”

“I’d rather not test how conductive your skin is.” He handles your hand as if it too is prone to breaking. “How’s your soup?”

You smile weakly. “I’ve had a couple cups so far. Better without all the water.

“I’d hope so.”

You look down at your hand. “You don’t have to be so careful, you know.”

“I know.” He does not speed up. “I just want it to fit right.”

You do not push it. You go back to staring at the diagram. “What’s on the agenda after this?” You fiddle with a piece of your shirt with your free hand. “Patrol, right? Where?”

“TCRI.” You feel him glance up at you, back at your hand. “What’s left, anyway.”

You have no idea where he got a diagram of the human body. You are fairly sure those cost quite a bit of money. “Are they really trying to rebuild it?”

“Seems so.” He turns your hand over. “No idea why, though. Based on what we saw it looks like they’re trying to open a wormhole, so based on my very limited knowledge of all that noise they may be trying to rip open a hole in space-time there because they’ve tried there before.”

“Like picking at a scab?”

He considers the comparison. “Sort of? More like trying to make a hole in a piece of fabric, if I’m understanding right.”

“But they already have open points of entry, don’t they?”

“They do.” He looked up at you. “That’s why we’re checking it out; there’s gotta be something there.”

You nod. “And some stuff might’ve survived the explosion.”

“Exactly. Is that too tight?”

“Nope.” You wiggle your fingers experimentally. “Totally fine.”

“That’s good.” He pulls it off. “Other hand?”

You hold it out to him. “How’d you sleep? I had to leave before I could ask.”

He pauses. “Fine.” It fits the same on both hands. “You?”

“Fine.” You gingerly pull your folded legs onto the chair. “Good dreams?”

He chuckles. “Imagine that.”

“I know, right?” You let him take the piece, toss it into the counter. “You know, I hear they make medications to help with that.”

He sighs. “If you know how to get prescription pills, be my guest, but my faith in pharmaceuticals for this sort of problem has waned, if I’m being honest.”

“That’s fair.”

There is another silence.

The words are out of your mouth before you comprehend them. “Can we have kids?”

You think he may see his life flash before his eyes. “What?”

“Are we physically capable of having children,” you repeat. “Biologically, is that feasible?”

“… Why do you ask?”

You are beginning to realize that your question oversteps some boundaries. You break eye contact. “Had a dream.” You focus back on the diagram. “Before, I mean. The day I got kidnapped.“

You think he may be more uncomfortable with that word than you are.

“And I don’t remember much about all that,” you admit, “but in the dream, Karai said her favorite team was Sincha tea, which I’ve never really heard of, you know?”

He is staring.

You clear your throat. “And you know how she came to see me, right? Well, I don’t remember telling her anything too serious, but I remember that she acted weird when I told her that her favorite tea was sincha tea, so I think it may have been right. But that’s not a lucky guess, because I’m still not sure what sincha tea is, and you can only dream about things you know. And in that dream too,” you go on, “there was something about me being kidnapped, and that day I got kidnapped. So I think there may be validity to that dream.” You rub the back of your neck. “Does that make any sense?”

It takes him a bit to speak. “And in your dream,” he clarifies, “you heard that I may be able to get you pregnant?”

“Not exactly. One of the letters— there were letters—“ you explain, “they said that you did research into the comparability of parts, and it didn’t make sense at the time, but I assumed it had to be sex-related because you were acting weird, but then if it was just ‘could it fit’ if porn is to be believed that’s a dumb question, so I assumed it had to be something more questionable, so.”

He nods. “Okay. Okay. Okay.” He glances over at the hammer at the other end of the table, sighs, looks back at you. “Okay,” he repeats.

You watch him expectantly. “So?”

“So what?”

“Does it work or not?”

His tongue runs over his teeth. “What’s that thing that people in court say when they don’t want to answer a question?”

“Do you mean pleading the fifth?”

“That.” He nods once. “I want to do that.”

A smirk spreads across your face. “So yes?’

“Fifth.” He looks down at his hands. “I’m pleading the fifth.”

You laugh. “You’re not very good at this.”

“Am too!”

You roll your eyes, your smile growing wider by the moment. “Your face is heating up,” you note nonchalantly, “You get flustered real easy, huh?”

He sinks a bit in his seat. “Screw you,” he mumbles.

“And take the satisfaction away from you? What sort of girlfriend would I be if I did that?” Using him as leverage, you pull yourself onto his lap facing him, draping your arms over his shoulders. You are fairly sure your face matches his, but you hardly care enough to mind it. “So? Am I clairvoyant, then?”

He adamantly avoids your eyes but makes no effort to move your arms, his dangling over the sides of his chair. “I’m not answering that.”

You sigh, crossing your ankles. “Honestly, though,” your voice lowers, “I don’t think anything like that’s happened so far; why would I suddenly get a premonition?”

“Dunno.” Tentative, he wraps his arms around your waist loosely. “You’ve had much more exposure to foreign substances than most people; maybe it’s a symptom of that.”

“But that would imply that there’s a scientific precedent for clairvoyance.”

“True, but it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen this week.”

“Also true.” You drum your fingers against his shell absently. “It doesn’t make a ton of sense any way you slice it, huh?”

“Nope.”

You close your eyes, letting your head fall into his chest. “This sucks. I hate being out of the loop.”

“You and me both.”

“Being out of the loop sucks,” you decide. “Just, as a general statement.”

“It does,” he agrees softly, resting his head atop yours. “Anxiety inducing stuff, not knowing things.”

You hum in agreement. “And things being out of control also sucks.”

“Also true.” A slow inhale, long exhale. “I don’t get how my brother does it.”

“Whatcha mean?”

He shrugs, slowly leaning back in his chair. “My father spouted a lot when we were younger that in order to find peace, you need to be willing to let things happen without needing to be in control.” He reaches up, taking a piece of your hair in his fingers and letting it twist and curl around it. “I don’t know about Raph, but Mikey and Leo always seemed to get what he meant by that. I didn’t. I think that may be why, generally, they’re less…” he pauses, struggling for the word. “I don’t know. Anxious? Frantic? Erratic?” Gently, he pulls you closer to him. “They don’t freak out as much, I think. I think that may be why we get into so many fights with them about stuff.”

You say nothing, arms tightening around him.

“Things get better, right?”

You look up at him, not sure what he means.

“You know what’s going to happen, right?” He glances down at you, looks away. “I know I really shouldn’t be asking, but I was curious if things got better after this.”

“Better as in?”

“Less hectic.”

You consider lying to him. You think better of it. “I mean,” you hesitate, “the Shredder is mortal, so at some point, yeah.”

He chuckles dryly. “No time soon, then?”

“That depends,” you say, “on how quickly we can kill him.”

He nods. “And the Kraang stuff?”

You swallow. “The Kraang are a hivemind race of aliens. We’ll die long before they do.”

“Why did you hesitate?”

“Because I’m choosing to ignore something right now until it becomes much more relevant due to its disputed canonical status.”

He hums an acknowledgment. “And if I ask I’ll regret it, I presume?”

“Look at you, picking up on patterns.” Your grip around him tightens. “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen, so don’t you worry. We’ve only fucked with the timeline a little so far, so hopefully, as long as I can keep track of everything, it’ll work out.”

“You seem good at that.”

“I sure hope so. We’ve still got two really bad things due, so I’m hesitant to breathe easy yet.” You lean back, using the chair as leverage to study his face. “How’re you holding up?”

“… I mean,” he sighs, “I could certainly be worse.” He shifts a bit under you. “We’ve prepared for this sort of thing, so it could be worse. Of course,” he smiled wryly, “We never expected it to be this bad, but we’ve learned some pretty decent coping skills and already figured this was a real possibility, so it’s not exactly incomprehensible or anything like that.”

He feels as though he is caught in a lie under your flickering gaze. You reach behind yourself, grabbing his hands and bringing his knuckles to your lips. “Is there anything I can do to make this easier on you?”

”Nothing really.” His palms, you note, are sweaty. “I’m really just grateful you’re sticking around at all. You know—“

“I know,” you cut him off. “I’m still sticking around regardless. Honestly, Donnie, you think so little of my constitution.”

“I don’t. It’s just I want you to know—“

This song and dance is one you have become quite familiar with over the past couple of weeks. “— that I have the option, I know.” You roll your eyes. “And if I ever want to leave you, love, you will be the first to know, I swear to you. I don’t exactly feel pressure to stay with you, you know.”

“I know.” He shifts again. “I just—“

You cut him off, “I know, and I love that you care for me so deeply, but it’s not your responsibility nor right to tell me what I should and should not want, Hamato. If I’m not in my right mind, when I come back to lucidity, I’ll thank you for reminding me of my options. Until then, accept that I care enough for you that I am more than happy to stay by your side, alright?”

He opens his mouth to argue, pauses, sighs. “Alright.” He shrinks a little under you. “I just don’t want you to feel any pressure is all.”

“I don’t.” The response is automatic. It always is, to that question. He asks you it so often these days.

You wish he would stop asking.

Table of Contents

Chapter 22

Chapter 24: COMING SOON

[an-gaol-seo-ol]

@diggsydogsquee you accuse me of not including our whole conversation. Please note the time stamp on the screen recording I took earlier, just after you blocked me. I was happy to include everything we spoke about, however, in tumblr fashion, it would not let me upload the screen recording to my reblog, so I opted for a quick screenshot in response to your blocking.

I’m not surprised that you unblocked me to chastise me, then reblock me. You are a coward.

P.S. You should see all of the DMs I’ve received in support of calling you out. Unlike you, I actually have proof. When you unblock me, again, I’ll happily provide screenshots to show you how ridiculous people think you are ‘round here.

[neoheros]

how would haikyuu boys handle getting shipped with a friend on tiktok? feat. kuroo tetsuro

kuroo tetsuro has a crippling tiktok addiction and he’s in denial about it but everyone around him knows because all he does in his free time is get on that app

that’s canon i’m not arguing with anyone about this

he’s the kind of guy to fall asleep from scrolling through his fyp and the moment he wakes up he looks for his phone under his pillow to watch more lmaooo

so anyways

you share classes with him and he’s not really the kind of guy to have crushes especially on people he’s not close with

but then one day he’s on his fyp and he stumbles on one of your videos

and he’s just like ?? woah

he recognizes you obvi, he’s not one to talk to people out of his friend group but he’s not completely ignorant to everyone else

he immediately sees that you have indeed quite the following and have almost majority of your posts going viral

so yea you can say he’d notice you more in class now

at first it was subtle, looking at you more when he’s spacing out or paying close attention to you when you’re reciting

he doesn’t even notice how he includes you more in his thought process until the day kenma pointed it out to him how he’s been a bit more distracted lately

he brushed it off thinking it wasn’t really anything serious

but then boy Oh boy !!!

he started noticing the fact that you’ve got a really nice room in your vids and your fave led lights are the red ones since you almost always use them

he’s also really into the fact that you upload more on comedic videos than dancing ones

but HONEY when you posted your take on the dance trend of savage by megan thee stallion ,,, he was GONEEEE !!!

he sent that video to kenma like five times in a row with the caption “aha brb gonna LIVE for this woman 😗✌️”

kenma be like: simp city population - u

at this point he just accepts it, like flat out he took it within himself to UNDERSTAND how much he’s crushing on you and kenma asks him if he’s gonna do anything about it and he’s like ????

like he gets how awesome he is and stuff cause duh captain of the volleyball team and most probably the most beautiful man on campus but you’re also really good in class and very attractive

not to mention that you’ve never even looked his way before

he was hurt, man !!

only he could feel as rejected as someone who actually did get rejected

nevertheless, he got over that and just woke up one day telling himself that he was gonna shoot his shot anyway !!

so one day in class, right after the lunch bell rang, he took a deep breath and rummaged his insides for every drip of confidence he could muster

he walked to your seat and you were kinda surprised because this boy right here has never once talked to you before

his opening line was “can i sit here?”

you were still really confused but then he said something about wanting to be friends and your heart was just really warm cause !!!! that’s so NICE !!

and he mentioned how he knew you from tiktok since you practically lived on his fyp

you were really embarrassed and he got to see in action how your ears turn really red when you get shy

kuroo, internally: “that’s so FUCKEN CUTE !!!!!”

he had to reassure you that it was indeed really cool that you made bomb ass tiktoks

you were so grateful cause like one minute you were having a terrible day because of your stupid teacher then bam this 6’2 beauty of a man came swooping in telling you you were terrific

you two became friends after that and it made you really happy to have someone as cool as kuroo as your best friend

kuroo likes to sit with you at lunch except when you’re with other people then he gets a bit dejected so he’s just “well damn maybe tomorrow then”

it’s all good though cause he has invited you to numerous of his practices and that’s when you SEE how amazing this man is at volleyball

one day you’re like “hey wanna do a tiktok with me?”

and he’s like “the one where you kiss me?”

you, flushed: DIPSHIT WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT !!!!1!1!1!!

you guys do the one where you dance to supalonely by benee

it went OFF !!! 700k likes and a solid ass 2.7M views because apparently the viewers really like it when kuroo dances next to you in his varsity uniform and has sweat dripping on his forehead

your comments for the next two weeks are just like “bro post another one with kuroo please PLEASE”

kuroo: guess people just like me more :)

you: leave my mentions <3

sometimes you’d get people replying to your videos with “you and kuroo look really good together”

you see them but you most likely ignore it because even if you did know how much you liked kuroo, you didn’t wanna jeopardize the friendship, yk?

anyhow due to popular demand, you include him in your videos again and every time you do they always go viral !!!

it’s very cute especially when you do the ones where you snapchat him song lyrics and he answers even if he does know it’s a trend

“can they please just get together already, we all know they’re pining but they’re too coward to say it !!”

you: ok u know what user9728182829 since u’r so good at this why don’t u be the one to make tiktoks at a volleyball court and dodge all those stray balls 😤

you were so fed up with it that you actually tell kuroo about the entirety of tiktok shipping the two of you together

he was worried that you were upset because people liked you and him dating that he thought maybe you just weren’t into him

BUT THEN !!!

because of the corona virus all the schools shut down and people were forced to stay in their houses for quarantine

it was sad that everything got cancelled and you weren’t allowed to see your friends anymore

but that’s ok cause kuroo insisted to facetime everyday

you: why can’t we just text

kuroo: because what if you forget what i look like 🥺

you: hey i’m not that blessed ❤️

it was like the quarantine never happened since you still saw and talked to him everyday

sometimes he’d show up at your place but refuse to come inside cause social distancing

this mfer threw rocks on your glass window just to get your attention once

kuroo: i got you those edible cookie dough in pints !!

you: omfg 🥺👉👈

then he chucks it at you because he ain’t boutta break the law to get you food 😤

it’s ok though you have really good reflexes and it only hit your elbow the first 2 times !!

you got it all on camera and posted it on tiktok and everyone in the comments were LIVID at the fact that you captioned it with “best friends b like”

“i just know that kuroo is punching the air right now.”

“imagine risking the corona and still being friend zoned.”

“when you realize kuroo is actually the president of simp city.”

other times he’d snap you at 3 in the morning asking if you want anything from starbucks

no one:

your snapchat dms at 3:28 am: you really went to bed you SN A KE !!

and when you wake up the next morning you find out that this guy is still awake and that he’s been chilling in the starbucks parking lot all morning !!!

that’s ok though because other than the fact that his sleep schedule is completely wrecked he still got you your venti strawberry acai refresher

you: thank you sm 🥺 what do i owe you

kuroo: a kiss on the cheek

you: you can have the drink back ❤️

that’s when the new tiktok trend started and people were posting the hottest guys on campus or revealing their crushes since 1st grade

you, feeling brave because school is cancelled: aight bet 😎

you do a tiktok hopping on the trend and you captioned it with “now that we aren’t coming back to school here are the boys from campus that i’d date for real”

you stall for the first 30 second by vibing to the music and when the beat drop !!

you showed a picture of kuroo and you put in the text “kinda missing him too”

you were extremely regretting this but numerous people already saw it and the comments went on and on about how unsurprising this was

press f ma’am

so one afternoon while kuroo was scrolling through his tiktok, he was surprised by the amount of notifications he was getting

cause he doesn’t even post videos ??

he’s only there to watch funny stuff and leave insulting comments on your posts cause he’s a good friend

he checks and they’re all just tags of him in this one video and he was kinda worried cause what if it was a hate post ??

but then he saw that it was yours and he’s less nervous !!!

kuroo, texting you: if you diss me in this one i’m posting the screenshot of you falling asleep on facetime

so he watches it and ??????????????

bro he went 🥺

before he messages you he went straight for the comments and !!!!!

“who knew it was kuroo before watching the whole video?”

“don’t be shy put some more photos of him !!”

“if kuroo duets this i’m gonna make sure to never fall in love unless its like this.”

“y’all he did it boys!! he graduated from the best friend zone!!”

he’s still really surprised by this and he really hopes you’re not kidding cause bro you??? like him????

thanks to that comment he saw, he decides to duet your video by using the same sound and doing the same dance with the same caption “now that we aren’t coming back to school here are the ones from campus that i’d date for real”

and they’re all just pictures of you 🥺

it blows up but before you see it on your fyp he’s already asking to facetime and when you answer you swear he’s just got the biggest smile in the world i’m :(

kuroo: lol remember when you publicly told majority of the internet how much you liked me

you: lol remember when you weren’t talking ❤️

[yesvaldemarharder]

Being A Cock Warmer For The Males In Arcana

Yeah I ain’t stutter. Also the fact that y’all got 308 notes on the Nsfw Arcana bit I ain’t got 308+ followers hurts me. So cruel. 😤

Anyway let’s get started before I have a mental breakdown haha (<— old edit sorta)

Edit from today (7/25): WE ARE NOW AT 565 FOLLOWERS! (I do believe, I might have to check again) Thanks so much guys! I know I disappear a lot but with witch stuff and spirituality and shit like that I just need to take breaks. I don’t mind y’all asking me how I’m feeling though smh, it might bring me back sooner to know people care about me.

But y’all too scared to even comment on how much y’all like my posts so I know y’all won’t do it.. cowards. 😔🥺

Anyway here’s the cock holder post, I’m actually not sure if these are completely cock holder-ish because of how they turn out but here, have fun rubbing off kiddies uwu. (Please don’t be actual kids tho smh, I ain’t responsible for yo lil ass.. if you get caught rubbing one out)

EDIT 7/27: Finally I’m done, I just want to say thank you to all the followers that’s been waiting for this post! I’ve been in off and on moods these days so yeah..anyway I’ve been holding this post for months and well here ya go! Also if anyone else wants to Roleplay just hit me up! (However I need to see your style of Roleplay before we start anything..short rps and rps with plot or starters aren’t my thing. And I call dating Valdemar uwu, I’ll rp your fav character for you if you rp them for me.)

I feel like some of these are out of character but only a little, please deal with it considering how hard I worked to get this out..also if you read this whole top, you get this: a quick request from me! Request anything you want and I’ll upload it either today, tomorrow or the day after! You have to read all my top tho and I know some of you won’t so for people who do, in your request send me the call out note I put up here!

Honestly it shouldn’t be hard to find..but anyway enjoy!

(Also I might make edits later teehee..)

-

Asra

As yet another costumer walked asking multiple questions about crystals and spiritual awakenings you nearly whimpered to them as an answer to whatever they had just said. Your hand roughly clutching the edge of the greeting desk in front of you.

Asra’s cock nestled in deep inside you like a snug bug in a fucking rug. It pressed against your sweet spot, nudging against the g-spot and he’s carefully rolling his hips shooting pleasure all throughout your body. Your clit is rock hard at this point as his hand grips your naked thigh, your shirt pulled up and panties around your ankles.

Everything is hidden from the people coming in except your face which is trying to hard not to show how hot you’re feeling. You want to stick your tongue out so bad or let your eyes roll but you know that with the right person that’s a dead giveaway. When another comes in Asra greets them with a warm smile seeing you stumble on your words to do so instead. He thrust his hips a little and you hold back from crying out, ducking your head down into your arms to bite your lips. Just like the way he told you to.

‘What a good girl you are.~’ He thinks with a catlike grin. He’s enjoying this quite a bit and you can tell with the twitching that his cock is doing inside you. Asra has patience though, a lot of it..and while you want so desperately to bounce on his cock like a whore in heat he simply won’t let you until he sees fit. Maybe if you beg for it though he’ll simply not give a damn about the customers and will put you up for display, fuck you right on the counter in front of everyone that enters.

When the customer haults themselves mid sentence they take the time to ask if you’re ok. Of course you can’t answer, you can’t even trust your voice to sound somewhat under control. Asra is on it in a flash taking any words from you to speak instead. Maybe not with the words you expected him to say but really you can’t argue right now. Not when he lifts your legs a bit more and sinks deeper into your wet messy pussy. You shake against him letting out a strangled whimper.

“She’s just a bit sick right now, poor thing... I wished for her to sleep but she insisted on helping me today. Isn’t that sweet?”

Insisted on helping daddy work today.~ Oh such a naughty girl you were weren’t you? Don’t worry though, he’d made you squirt all over his cock like the loving daddy he was. What would he be if he didn’t?

After a couple of words between Asra and the customer the customer leaves with whatever they managed to purchase. The shop was quiet now only with the sound of wetness between your thighs and you breathless moans. It was quiet until he pushed you forward. You press firmly against the counter and he follows you pressing right up against your back, your hands find the counter and he chuckled into the skin of your back. “Such a good girl, you did a good job~” he mumbles as your cervix twitched against the slit of his cock and god, he has to cover your mouth as you cry out in pleasure because even though there aren’t anymore customers he still can’t be sure if anyone is still around outside.

You hips bucked against him now in a deep rut. He doesn’t even bother to tell you to stop because he know you won’t, he also knows you can’t help it at this point..your bouncing, tears running down your rosy cheeks. He just watches with a smug smile as his cock disappears each time you push back against him, his hands moving down to grab your hips as you moan and cry for more. Who knew a simple push would make you loose your mind? He did, that’s who knew.

You jerk with a high pitched cry and this time he doesn’t bother to cover your mouth, you’re just too far gone and he’d be a liar if he didn’t want to hear you babblering about how good his cock was. At one point you nearly collapsed but he holds you, lovingly as if you were simply cuddling in bed and not just breeding yourself on his cock.

“Shh, Shh. That’s a good girl, take daddy’s cock baby. It’s okay, I’ll let you cum.”

And oh god when his fingers came to play with your clit magick mixing in and you came so hard.. You were pretty sure you went to the astral plane for a second or some shit because it made you grip the desk for your life. Eyes rolling as he groaned, busting his load within you filling you with pups. You went limp against him, panting tiredly as he nuzzled you as if he didn’t just fuck the shit out of you.

“Such a good girl.”

Julian

You’re both flustered. His hands tightly gripping your twitching thighs as his large cock is deeply submerged in you. You’re in public, at the bar matter of fact surrounded by both men and women alike who are either drunk of their asses or are soon to be as such. Either way it’s risky to do this here but it couldn’t have been helped.

When you found your seat in Julian’s lap he turned a deep shade of red from the suddenly weight but simply chuckled lifting a brow, curious to know what you were up to now. “Darling? Careful now, I might ‘pop one’.” He chuckled and you purred, the noise making the glass you held to your lips vibrate a bit. He hugged you, like a baby clinging to a mother until you start to feel something prodding at your butt.

You make a small surprised noise and he freezes on the spot. You look back at him and he’s so flustered all he can do is look back up at you, sweating lightly, he even gives a shy little grin as if to say ‘told ya so’. After a short staring contest you bite your lip and purr once more. Why not take advantage of this, you and Julian we’re into many things so why not try out a little public play? You lift the glass back to your lips to down the rest of whatever you had been drinking in the first and then you shifted in his lap getting a feel of a twitch.

“Julian darling, you seem to have a bit of a surprise for me hm?~” He gives a nervous chuckle but nods. You take the momentary awkwardness as him being a bit shy and you know it’s understandable, even you’re feeling a little anxious with what you are about to do..however Julian was always one to try new things and you could tell he was interested the second his hand carefully cupped your hip.

You bit your lip in anticipation and without too much more hesitation you look around to see if anyone is watching glad to see that they’re not and you stand a little pulling down your pants and panties. He watches, he’s so nervous that you can practically see him gulp but the bulge in his pants is still growing so neither of you can help yourselves.

He fights his pants quickly pulling them down letting his cock bob out. Hard and already glossy with sweet precum already. If it wasn’t for a growing wetness developing between your legs and the group of people around you you’d get down on you knees and take that cock in your mouth. The tip is an angry red and you go to make a joke but shudder as he sneakily runs his thumb down the crack of your soft ass, playfully over your butthole and over your folds to your cute pink clit.

You nearly buck, humping the table but your careful. That’ll cause a scene for sure. Julian is impatient now, forgetting the awkwardness and embarrassment but he’s still cautious.. as much as he wants to beg you to hurry he doesn’t whine, not here, not yet..

You slowly lower yourself on the large, throbbing cock. It stretches you and you hear Julian gasp, his hands grabbing hold to your thighs the second you both connect. It’s hot in your belly, twitching against your fleshy pink walls, making your belly bulge ever so slightly. You’re shaking and he can’t quite literally feel you quivering around him. Biting into your lip you lightly roll your hips, slow to get a good feel of the twitching inside you.

You suddenly let out a muffled cry, your hand coming up just in time to cup your mouth when Julian bucks a bit on instinct. He’s quick to apologize though, sorry he couldn’t keep his body still but oh god...you’re soaking wet and so fucking hot that honestly he feels he might cum already.

You try to calm down, not to cause a scene when he presses his head into the crook of your shoulders, panting on your neck as he wraps his arms around you firmly keeping you in place. You practically whimper as he kissed your neck. “Q-Quickly darling, bounce on it. I’m going to cum soon~” Julian didn’t usually tell you what to do, and that might have been the reason you looked surprised at his words, might have also been the reason you grew wetter..

You felt...flustered, for the first time of being with him because usually you were the one in charge and yet here he was whispering in your ear telling YOU what to do. His lips on your neck, whispers in your ears encouraging you, cock deep inside and kissing your cervix, his taller build pressing so lovingly against your back. He moved his hand down to rub your clit curious to see your reaction as he lifts his head a little to look at your blushing face. He starts off slowly but soon he’s rolling his fingers in rough circles as you gasped and bucked, hips twitching and legs shaking.

“J-Jules, oh shit~ stop...stop I’m going to cum, I’m going to!-“

It was unexpected but he roughly slammed his hips up, cock hitting that sweet spot and he groaned as his cock throbbed before a thick release of cum flooded your insides. He held you tightly as you trembled. His hand tightly over your mouth to keep you quiet because you had been making cute little whines without even noticing. He suddenly was up and moved like a flash as he whisked you off to the bathroom where you squirted, your pussy twitching and spasming around him, eyes rolling because you had just came.

He held you against the wall as you struggled to stand on your own, no one was around now so he freely kissed you, a deep blush on his cheeks as he tried to calm you down. He’d take his time cleaning you up after you came down from your high.. “I’m sorry darling, please forgive me...I couldn’t help myself.” He chuckled lightly against you smiling as you huffed.

Lucio

You’re completely naked, skin sweaty, head buried in the same pillow where Nadia rest her head. His gauntlet squeezes your ass in a tight grip, voices in the hallway having normal talks. Your cheeks are a blood red.

He’s teasingly slow with each thrust, slow but rough covering your mouth with his other hand each time you let out a squeal at his cock spreading your cervix, the words in your ear he whispers are dirty and vulgar, humiliating but you can’t help the way your pussy squeezes around his thick veiny cock.

Lucio doesn’t seem worried, doesn’t seem like he cares if someone comes in to see him breeding his favorite servant like your just some toy. Maybe every once in a while you’ll hear Nadia’s voice and he’ll growl at how tight you squeeze around him, horny but scared she’ll come in and catch you both.

It’s so hard not to rock back into him, not only because he’s barely leaving any space for you but also because he’s in charge here. There’s a delicious twitch from his pulsating cock and you shake your hips now biting into that pillow snapping your eyes shut. It’s good, he’s good...no, he’s fucking amazing and it feels like you’re melting.

At one point it so good that you beg quietly. Soft whimpers and moans falling from your lips as the hand he had on you mouth moves to your hair, yanking those locks he loved so much.

His cock twitches inside you again and holy fuck you’re crying, you want to cum so bad but he’s keeping you still, stopping you from fucking back against him and so now all you can do is try to keep quiet.

This is torture, you think to yourself but then there’s a snap of his hips, cock burying deep in your womb and you scream, face forced into the pillows to shush you. He chuckles lowly in your ear, mockingly as you tremble violently against him.

“What’s wrong princess? Is something the matter? Use your words kitten~”

He knows you’re weak and he loves using it against you. At this point you really are crying, you want to cum to bad and he’s edging your orgasm at a level he’s never done before and it’s fucking killing you.

Beg, beg to get fucked like a bitch. Beg for him to take mercy. Beg for his cock, he fucking loves that.

And you did. “P-please sir~ please please please...let me cum please..” you sound so desperate it’s pitiful but with a hum he grants your wishes. If you thought the teasing was one thing the strokes he gave your slutty ass was another.

He fucked you so hard into the bed that when you came you couldn’t stop whimpering his name or shaking. You hips trembling seven after he pulled out. Your face pressed so hard into the pillows as his hot cum dripped out of your cunt.

He’d clean you up later but for now he kissed your lower back before giving that bum a nice slap watching as the skin brightened.

“Good girl~”

Muriel’s is a bit shorter because other then Portia I don’t really see him in a ‘LETS FUCK’ kinda way. Just my opinion don’t get mad please smh.

Muriel

It’s making your stomach bulge so much that you’re shaking, gripping his strong thighs as his large hands carefully settle on your hips.

There’s a twitch and you toss you head back to rest it on his chest, panting, whining like a dog and heat and even though it’s slightly embarrassing for you, looking up with lidded eyes and seeing that deep blush makes you purr. You bite your lip

His hand slides and now it’s on your stomach gently caressing the bulge he finds there. You shudder and then you let out a sweet high pitched moan as one of his thick fingers move to rub you clit.

His movements are slow but firm, he’s careful because he doesn’t want to hurt you but he also loves how your nails dig into his skin and how you buck and clench around him.

Keep doing that and might blow his loud sooner than he thought he would.

It’s just you and him, Inanna (did I spell that right? I don’t know I ain’t played his route like that..) is out, and he feels better that she is. Not hear to watch as the clear juices drip out of your needy cunt.

He hasn’t rolled his hips or thrusted up into you once yet and deep in your mind you feel a bit grateful but that doesn’t mean you can’t rub against him

There’s a shiver and then you wiggle those hips of yours, crying out in bliss as his finger presses against your clit and how you can feel his cock twitch again. The hand on your hips squeezes and then there’s a shaky groan behind you

He slumps a little, big strong chest against your back, lips against your throat in a gentle kiss and he’s shaking. He might just cum but it’s no doubt that you’re going to beat him to it.

When his hips stuttered you arched but now it was too late to stop. You cried his name out before you came hard around that fat cock of his. He gasped at the tightness but quickly wrapped his arms around your waist giving you a gently but firm hug.

His cumming and his cum is thick and stick. You convulse just having it in you and when you’re both done he falls back onto the bed panting with the same tempo as you.

Fuck, you loved this man and when you found your voice again you’d definitely tell him to his face. ❤️

Can I just say that Vlastomil needs more fluff and smut of him??? Like no cap he lowkey makes the pussy wet for me 🥴🥴🥴 his is a bit short but cut me some slack, it’s 1 am in the morning..

Vlastomil

You didn’t suggest this, it just kinda sorta happened. When you came into his office to greet him with a kiss you didn’t expect to end up staying for this long but you guessed when lovers are too busy with work the second they had time alone anything will go down.

A simple kiss turned to Vlastomil grabbing your hand carefully to pull you closer. He’s missed you and you’ve missed him too, what could it hurt to spend time together? You smile a little and come closer until you’re in his lap, facing him and that cute dumb grin on his face. His hands moving around your waist to pull you both together and then you’re kissing again.

His tongues are curious to roam your mouth and as you do so you can’t help but moan a little remembering the times those same tongues had been submerged in your pussy making your jerk and cry out for mercy. You’ve missed him more than you thought you did..damn Nadia and those amazing adventures you two seemed to always go on..

He paused upon hearing the sound come from you and as he pulls back there’s a glimpse in his eyes that you both know all too well. Then there’s a slight twitch beneath his robes and you can’t help but shift closer, pressing a hand to his chest to make him lean back a little. His hands are still on you but this time they squeeze a little at your hips to encourage you. “Well, we have the time now correct?” He hums and you purr, nodding a bit as you lean down to kiss his exposed throat which makes him shiver under you.

With a catlike grin you pull back lifting your skirt to show your thighs that’s encased in stockings and lace underwear that has probably five seconds to be dealt with before he rips them off you. His eyes are focused and his cheeks are a bit red but now you too have gotten this far, no need to stop now. Not with the bulge between his legs growing bigger and needier for attention. It doesn’t take long to get him inside you, his fingers have prepared your now wet cunt and now your slit is teasing the head of his cock.

Usually Vlastomil doesn’t mind a bit of playfulness but he really wants you and with out much of a thought he pulls you down, kissing your lips as you go to arch and moan out at the sudden move. He’s throbbing in you, his long cock pulsing happily to finally be surrounded by your hot wet insides. You clutch his clothes, legs twitching a bit and even though you want to keep kissing you can’t help how your head tilts back even more you you to let out a broken moan of his name.

“Vl-Vlast~..” you gasp as he shifts a little to which he hums. “Hush now, don’t be too loud dear~.” Because while he’d love to make you scream the last thing he really wants to hear are rumors from servants who are far too curious about his love life. You shiver and for a while he just holds you allowing you to be the one rolling your hips shakily against him. A quiet groan leaving him each time his cock moves inside you like it might just slip out.

You’re so hot that he buries his head in your shoulder to try and stop himself from pinning you down on his desk. With his movement he presses deeper in you and you whine rolling you hips a bit faster. He’ll allow you to chance your orgasm, until he doesn’t..where he’ll grab your hips in an almost bruising grip to stop you. Then he’ll edge you on till you’re shaking and crying like a bitch, begging for him to stop and just let you come.

Only then would he allow if, for now however, he liked the feeling of those tight walls hugging his cock like a life support.

As you fell apart to your bucking he leaned his head back to whisper in your ear on how you’re doing so well or how good you feel around him. He’s not actively trying to make you cum but oh he’s definitely help tug on the knot inside of you. You hips stutter and with a shout you cum, shaking, twitching, and begging for him to stop with his mistreatments.

When your down, breathless and used he’ll continue to hold you there until he’s cumming so much in you that it starts to overflow. When you could speak again he’d wait for you to say how much you love him, for now however he simply chuckled and placed a lovely kiss on your forehead. Later he’d definitely pin you down and be the one in charge.

Valerius

Whatever Lucio has been saying definitely didn’t translate to you, not when Valerius had his cock so far up your pussy that you struggled to even breathe evenly.

Not with his hand massaging the inside of your thigh underneath the cloth of the table, not with him pressing a light kiss to your cheek even once in a while and definitely not with his little dirty promises each time Lucio looked away.

Your breath came out shaky after Lucio asked you something about the food and you bit your lip feeling the cock in you twitch.

“It’s d-delicious.” It’s the only thing you can mumble after Lucio speaks on how’s the food, while trying to not bounce on the cock that’s getting squeezed by your cunt. You want to roll your hips so bad, make him fuck you on this table without a care, but at the same time you do care.

You care about what whatever the hell Lucio will say for whatever fucking reason and that leaves you shivering trying to fight off the heavy blush that’s trying to appear on your face.

Valerius leers close, his head finding your neck, his lips moving along your skin. Smooth lips kissing your shoulder, then the base of your neck and moving to your ear. He moves his hips and your hand instinctively comes down to squeeze his thigh. He lets out a low groan into your ear feeling the wetness that you’re pussy is letting off, your heat having him hard as a fucking boulder. It really is hard to not bend you over this table and fuck you like the slut that you are. He could see it now, your nails digging into the table cloth as his fingers yank and pull on your hair, his eyes on your cunt with swallows him oh-so nicely with each thrust.

“I’m going to fuck you darling..” he speaks into your ear and the shiver you let off made him chuckle. Lucio is back talking again now, something about another masquerade and how amazing he is.., it doesn’t matter. Valerius’s hand on your thigh begins to move and you’re so sensitive now that even the slightest touch makes you whimper under your breath. His hand moves to tickle your clit, fingers playfully rubbing against the hard bun and now you do bounce on him.

It’s sudden but it makes you both shudder, there’s a wet sound that’s made when you do it and now Valerius downs the rest of his wine somehow calmly managing to set the empty glass on the table. His eyes are closed and you bite your lip, Lucio perks. “Oh Valerius! Would you like some more wine? I’ll even go get it for you!” And you can’t stop him because he’s already running to the kitchen. There’s silence and then his hand wraps around your throat, it squeezes and you let out a choked moan.

“Do it again.” He hummed and fuck, you listen to daddy when told to. Your hips are quick to studder, you bounce, raising your hips just to slam them back down on him. A broken cry leaving your voice when he takes the lead. Your legs spread over his as he fucks you with vigor. His cock rutting so deep in you with each thrust that you can feel it in you tummy and you can feel yourself chasing your own orgasm.

It’s just you and him and your letting out whimpering and broken moans, babbling to your daddy on how good you’ll be if he lets you cum. He believes every word of course because right now the ball is in his field and he’s in charge of if you actually get to cum in his lap.

Your arching, eyes rolling and you can feel the tightness in your belly. It’s coming, you’re trying to warn him, your hands placed on his knees for some sort of structure. You’re so cute, he whispers lovingly in your ear how wet your cunt is or how much it’s squeezing him and then he comes to a sudden stop.

You almost cry, not a small whine but a pitiful yell. You were so close and yet he stopped..this is torture, you couldn’t help but repeat that in your head. Lucio is coming back and you can tell because who doesn’t know that snazzy silhouette by now. Valerius has his hands on you holding you tightly to stop you from taking from him without permission. You will only cum when he lets you, don’t forget that. 

They’re talking but you’re trying so hard not to really cry right now, your pussy trembling with juices dripping down his balls and down your thighs. He has a hand on your hip that’s squeezing, telling you to keep in your place and even though you’re desperate you know that the prize of waiting is much better than a punishment. Or was it? (Teehee 👅😈💦)

A wine bottle slides towards you and it takes you a second to realize what’s happening. You blink before wrapping your fingers around the barrel without a thought and then there’s another deep thrust. You jerk bitting your lip as your hand tightens around the bottle almost like you wish to crush it. Valerius leans against you with a hum “are you alright? Can you open it?” He spoke lowly and to be honest there’s been multiple times where you wanted to hit him but this one really took the cake.

You nod lightly and then his other hand is over your clit, you gasp as digits violently play with the bundle of nerves and you can’t see at the moment but there’s a wide smirk on Lucio’s face. You completely break and arch in his lap as he presses kisses against your throat. “C-coming!~ D-Daddy I’m coming!~~” you cry and while you try weakly to clutch his arm he bucks lifting your hips with his other hands.

The string breaks inside you and then you go to scream but his hand is quick to cover your mouth from such a blissful sound. You cream all over his cock and there’s a rough groan as he cums inside you, his cum hot and filling you to the brim. You slump against him shaking and shivering before peeking a little.

“WOW! What an amazing show Valerius!” The count chuckles and now your blush is hellishly red. Did Lucio know the whole time? Well it must be expected considering how close the two could be. Valerius had his head in your shoulder as he lightly pet your belly which only added to how tired you were now.. You were definitely going to hit him when you woke back up..

Now, for Valdemar and Vulgora. I KNOW they both go by they/them pronouns. I’m only saying this because someone once didn’t know the difference between a daddy kink and ddlg on my account and the last thing I want is some little fucker being like “bUt BuT bUt!..” Most of my post for Valdemar or Vulgora is them with a tentacle dick but I don’t mind writing them with vaginas either. (Tribbing post coming soon uwu) My point is they’re both capable of forming whatever genitalia they want and plus this is just for fun and horny folk, calm down.

Vulgora

A blood curdling scream cut through the air as blood fell to the dirt ground with a splat, the coliseum was bustling with hunger for violence and the screams of the weak. There were three reasons for coming here, for one, Vulgora loved the coliseum. How could they not, fighting and blood was basically what they were made for. Two, they loved to show you the things that they liked to get closer to you.

The third being that when screams filled the air, the screams of pleasure from your lips couldn’t be distinguished from the ones down below.

They grinned a bit before laying their chin on your shoulder, their strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist to keep the two of you attached. You twitched tossing your head back to rest on their shoulder as you let out hot pants and cooes. It squirmed inside of you, that seeping hot tentacle that stretched your cunt as if that was its job. Their tentacle was white in color other than the tip that grew a lovely pink/red, you bit your lip. Just thinking about it had you opening you legs a bit more.

Vulgora shifted moving their hips and you shake when they do because the way their tip wiggles inside your cervix definitely has you ready to start drooling and have their baby or some shit. Vulgora usually fucks you like your in heat but here, with the screams of death they want to hear you scream for more. It’s a bit sadistic of them in a way but why should they care, it’s only you and them on this row of chairs anyway, everyone else is much closer to the front.

Vulgora’s body is hot against yours and if it wasn’t for their arms wrapping around your midsection you’d probably arch away from the touch. Sometimes their so hot you can’t handle it, and more ways than one. Vulgora suddenly snaps their hips up and it’s so sudden that a scream rips right out of your throat before you can catch it. It mingles in the air mixing with a now dead man down below but now you hand moves to grab their arm.

“V-Vulgora..I can’t..~” you struggle to speak, your toes curling as the tentacle wiggles and squirms inside your belly, your eyes rolling as you bite down on your lip. Vulgora chuckles a mocking chuckle and somehow it makes you even wetter. Their tongue slides out to lick your throat, a gauntlet running up your shirt to expose your breast to the tangy air. “You can if I say you can~.” They mumble against your skin.

Holy fuck, you could cum right now but they’d definitely would turn your bliss into a punishment because did they say you could come yet? No, no they didn’t.

Your clit is so hard at this point and the adrenaline of someone simply turning around and catching you so exposed has you not only scared but squeezing them more. What if someone turned around? The whole stadium would see you taking the Pontifex’s cock like some whore. You started to shake at that thought laying your head back against them because you think you’re about to cum. They hum against your skin because out of all their time of dating you they know what goes on in the filthy little head of yours.

You like this. They grin a little before biting down on your shoulder before making a circle motion with their hips. Oh they way you begged, that’s what they want to hear. They want to hear how much you like it and how much it makes you feel good. Vulgora isn’t one to spend time fucking others so you have such privilege to be getting dicked down by them much less be their actual mate.

They don’t really edge you but you can expect more then one orgasm. When you’re practically crying and begging is when they’ll stop breeding you because now you’re full of cum and boneless against them. You pussy spasms around them and all the can do now is laugh a bit and rub your bloated belly. Even with how rough they can be you can tell they love you. They hands rubbing you carefully as the whisper how good you felt and how impressive you are in your ear.

If anything Vulgora is so in love with you you can proudly say your their addiction. You giggle a little when you finally have to strength to again and they hum lightly at the lovely sound.

Valdemar

Valdemar hasn’t been paying much attention to you but honestly what can you expect from them, you may have gotten them to acknowledge they feel a strong connection for you but when stating how you need their touch or how they should pay more attention to you can still be a bit of a struggle.

You huff seeing their back to you, those talented hands (which your cunt knows all to well at this point, fuck I’m needy now..) working so diligently on the lifeless corpse of some female you didn’t take the time to learn about. You’re in your night cloths having just came out of the shared room that you had been waiting for them in. You’re a bit annoyed to see them still working, it’s not like the body was going anywhere soon..

“Val..are you still working on that...” you sigh lightly and they don’t even bother to look back at you as they speak. “It won’t be for much longer.” They answer without missing a beat. You approached them, naked feet lightly padding against the floor and not much longer your against their back. They pause for a second before moving to look back at you. You give them a look, one of irritation and maybe a bit of an attitude and they don’t say anything as they narrow their gaze a little.

“Are you having more time with her than you are with me?” You mumble childishly against their back as your arms move to close around them and then you hand carefully runs down their chest. They roll their eyes moving to put their utensils down in the bloody tray next to the rotting corpse. “Don’t be absurd darling..” they speak and there’s a bit of a low warning tone behind their mask. Maybe it was the fact that they’d been working for hours when they wanted to join you or perhaps it was you coming out of nowhere with such silly things to say, either way, you could see that this was them telling you to watch yourself.

They noticed that attitude for a couple days now and to say the least they were pretty fed up with it. Fed up with the attitude and/or petty remarks.. You on the other hand scoffed to hide a smug smirk. “Do you like your fingers being in her more than in me?” This time they turned around making you stop and then take a small step back because to be honest you didn’t expect that. They grabbed your wrist holding it up as they got closer, your scent drawing them in.

“What did I just say? Stop the nonsense (y/n) or I’ll punish you.” Oh~ now you shivered a little. You hummed to resist from biting your lip, a punishment huh? Just what you needed. You pressed against their chest looking up at their slim tall figure with an almost challenging look as if you were calling a bluff. You tilted your head “did I strike a nerve? Want some more alone time with your new bitch?”

It happened so fast, them spinning you around and pushing your front down on a newly cleaned table. They pulled your hips up pressing firmly against your back as they leaned down to your ear with a low scoff. “Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear.” They spoke lowly before a hand was lifting your gown over the round of your ass to reveal those lace panties, their gloves hand traced your skin. You shivered under their surprisingly strong build, biting your bit as you wiggles back against them only for one of their hands to sit right in the small of your back keeping you still. “Drop the attitude.” The hissed lightly.

When you let out a small whimper that’s when they knew this was what you wanted. They paused before humming in a sing song-y way. Their other hand snaked up before wrapping around your throat tilting your head back until your eyes connected with theirs. “Oh now~ I think I see what’s happening here..” they spoke with that sharp gaze. You were already getting super wet at this point and you wanted so desperately to push back against them.

“What a naughty little whore you are (y/n)..” they trailed off a little as something slimy ran up your inner thigh to rub over your clothed cunt before pulling your panties aside revealing your needy cunt that trembled for attention. You could feel it behind you, their body shifting a bit to help in this situation..the tentacle sliding over your clit as another managed to free them from their slacks revealing their tentacock which started as the same color as their skin to black half way.

Soon enough they had pushed inside leaving you breathless as they kept that dominating gaze on you, the hand around your throat squeezing a bit as your pussy hugged them. The long and heavy appendage squirmed inside you and you couldn’t help but spread your legs a bit more and cooe at them. Your stomach bulged a bit and you had to keep your hands firmly down to not completely collapse upon them, hell if it wasn’t for them supporting your back you were nearly positive your legs would buckle.

Once they were completely settled they leaned down to give you a kiss, short and sweet before they started a torturously slow pace allowing you to feel all of them and shake with need. Oh no, not this..Valdemar had quite a bit of patience and you knew that when they say they’d punished you they mean it. The last thing you expected was such cruelty like this though. You let out a broken cry “V-Val!..please~..” you choked out letting out a slight gargle as their hand tightened a bit more around your neck, the other moving to clasp around your hip to keep you from fucking back onto them.

They ignored you, their thrust slow but intensely firm, their cock sinking so deep in you you couldn’t help but cry a little from the slight overstimulation.

The room still had the scent of blood that filled your senses as well as the scent of sex and the wet squelching noises coming from you two. Your moans growing louder and your begs growing more desperate each time they pressed against you, your clit so hard that each time one of the other tentacles would flick it you’d jump with a shout. Valdemar never once looked away from you while you on the other hand couldn’t keep your eyes open or stop letting them roll to the back of your head.

They loved this honestly, putting you in your place and watching you fall apart from just a couple actions and they had to admit, while sex isn’t necessarily important to them they liked to see you so red in the face and twitchy with pleasure. You felt like you been there for hours when you finally came shaky violently, closing your eyes tight and letting out a high pitch cry. Your back arched as much as they’d let you and you came so hard it felt like you had died. Valdemar held you through it, letting up on their grip around your throat.

They weren’t done with you of course, they’d still have yet to cum themselves. For now though they’d hold you until you were ready to take more of your punishment.

[sanieee]

ℂ𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕄𝕚𝕟𝕖

Au: Non-idol au

Genre: Angst, fluff.

Summery: Are you lovers or strangers when you look eye to eye? You knew the answer when you asked him if you could call him yours.

Warnings: It may be longer than I expected it to be. Also, it was [again] inspired by The Chainsmokers. And it’s unedited so, if you see any mistakes, I will re-read it [for the 15th time] again. I’m making individual ones based on several songs.

Words: 2k 

“ᴰᵒⁿ'ᵗ ˡᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵉᵐᵒʳʸ ᶠᵃᵈᵉ“

                       ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛

Hongjoong ︳Seonghwa  ︳Yunho  ︳Yeosang ︳San ︳Mingi ︳Wooyoung ︳Jongho

༛༛ ༛༛ ༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛ ༛༛  ༛༛

Meeting Wooyoung was unexpected. Ending up being his significant other was also out of the blue. Your whole relationship was unlooked for, but amazing nevertheless. But when it started to go down hill, you couldn’t help but think of the happier days. 

You walked in the bar, there were hundreds of conversations told in loud voices, all of them competing with the loud  music that resonated through the speakers. The crowd is young, students from university for the most part, and you were no exception. Your friends had been asking you to go out one night to the bar downtown with them, to have some fun and discuss some gossip if there was any. 

As you were looking for your friends, a pair of eyes were fixed on you since you stepped inside. He ran his fingers through his long dark locks, just to push away his bangs out of his eyesight the next second. He turned to his best friend, who was drinking away his problems. 

Taking away the glass from his hands, he nudged his shoulder.  A loud, “Who is she?” was heard by all the people at their table. Seven heads turned in different directions, but were quickly to turn back to him as they were not given any description of the girl he was looking for.  The oldest of the bunch took his glass up to his lips and after a sip asked “What does she look like?”

The younger boy laughed, and then described what you were wearing. After eight pairs of eyes were roaming through the whole bar, the youngest pointed at you with his head. “Her? She goes to my university.” He was not the type to go after someone for a long period of time, and his reputation of breaking hearts was well known, but he didn’t care as he saw your smile. 

He asked Jongho about you, and when he felt confident enough,  he got up his seat to go after you. He came up to you, tapped your shoulder and winked, you laughed as he told you:  “The name is Jung Wooyoung.” 

His presence was anticipated for you at first, but as the night progressed, you liked how easy going and funny he was, needless to say you had no intentions to push him away. You remember how much you laughed as he danced with you and tried to get you interested in him. But you were not the type of girl to go with the first guy that gives you attention. 

You thought he just liked you that night to have some fun, but it was a surprise to you when you saw him again in your campus. He claimed to pick up Jongho, but the boy was already an adult, so his lies were kind of messy. He brushed everything aside  and stuck to you for a few hours before leaving, and it happened for a few months. 

You were sure he was just playing with you, he would find another girl to trail after. His friends on the other hand, had never seen him so dedicated to anyone before. You claimed he was just a friend, and  he claimed you were going to be in his arms sooner or later. But did you feel anything for him? You weren’t sure. 

You weren’t sure until you saw him in a party hosted by one of your friends at the same bar you’ve met. He came up to you, asked you why you were there. “It’s Chan’s party, he’s my childhood friend so of course I came.” He handed you a glass with a smile, his arm around your shoulders as you looked for Chan. 

A few hours after, you were both sitting on the porch stairs. You took some pictures with both your phones, uploading some stories that you wouldn’t remember you posted in the morning. When the night was deep, when the lights had been on for a few hours, when you were drunk enough to forget you came with someone, you told him you were going home. 

But he didn’t want you to leave you yet. He wanted to spend more time with you. Taking you by the arm he asked you “Hey, what you doing for the rest of your life?" You knew what he wanted, and with a sly smirk you told him "Well, I don't even know what I'm doing tonight." 

He extended his hand to you, which you took softly, and the next thing you knew, you were running in the street towards the subway station. If people saw you, they would be worried while giving you weird glances, but you were having the time of your life. Later on, you were in front of the ticket machine, trying to get a ten trip pass. The reason why you didn't buy a ticket for each was because combining both your cash was at least  20$. 

You laughed as you took little steps to go up the station stairs after getting to your destination. He was pulling your arm with little to no strength, and you were leaning on the railing as your hair got in front of your face. 

When you finally climbed the stairs, Wooyoung pointed to a street stall. You both ran to get in line, and took out some of the left over cash you had in your pockets. He paid your order without landing his face on the floor and handed you a water bottle when he turned around. 

You sat on a bench as you leaned on him, sobering up as you ate French fries. When he asked you if you wanted an ice cream, you said yes as you got up and skipped over to a convenience store. 

And maybe it sounds so cliché, but he found you adorable when you picked your dessert. And he couldn’t stop looking at you as you smiled at him with the city lights behind. Maybe that’s why when he saw you had ice-cream at the corner of your lips, he bent down to give you a kiss.

It was sweet. It was soft. It was needy and it was all you would remember for the next few days. That night you felt free and totally forgot about all your problems. When you asked what it was for, he  claimed it was to wipe off the ice cream you had on your lips, since you didn’t have napkins. 

But let me tell you, it wasn’t the last time your lips collided. A few months had passed and it was clear you were more than friends, but nothing was official. Until he showed up at your university once again, and took you away from your friends, with their permission. 

While walking by the river, he had an urge to kiss you, and he did. Not surprised at all, you kissed him back, but as he pulled away he softly asked you a question you were surely not expecting. 

“Can I call you mine?”

You laughed shyly, taking him by his jacket while you nodded. 

But now he was busy, he didn’t have time for you. His college assignments were taking him away from you, and you couldn’t do much since you were also in your senior year. He got mad whenever you brought up how you were neglecting your relationship. And you stopped trying because the only thing it did was hurt you more. 

You talked about it with your friends, they told you to keep trying to talk to him because a relationship goes nowhere if there’s no communication. When you visited his dorm the next day, you went to his room to try again. 

But he was sleep deprived, he couldn’t think straight and he was absolutely not keeping up with you. When you had enough, you started screaming at each other. San and Jongho were in the living room, very aware that your relationship was not in its’ best moment. They were silent as they looked at their frozen phone screens, more interest in your… yelling. 

“Do you regret calling me yours?!” 

The boys knew it was over when they heard no response, and got surprised when you left with a loud bang while closing the door. When they went to Wooyoung, he was still in shock from your question. Of course he didn’t regret it, but he didn’t feel like you were in such bad terms for you to question his loyalty. San told him to man up and fix it, because if he didn’t, Jongho was going to slap some sense into him.

However, his actions weren’t done immediately. It took him several days to compose himself and imagine himself in your place. He did notice that you barely had time to see eye to eye. That sometimes he was in a rush and brushed past you as if you didn’t know each other. It felt like you were someone he knew, that you were slowly becoming strangers. 

However, with all the rage inside you, you decided to go out one night, tired of braking your head and thinking about him all day long. Dolling yourself up in front of your mirror and going to the bar downtown after calling some friends. And while you were drinking your third glass that night, Wooyoung passed through the door looking for you all alone. 

When he spotted you, he came and sat besides you on the bar stools, to try to get you to look at him. You did take a glace at him but looked the other way the second after. He sighed, he had to fix it but he didn’t know how so he went outside to clear his mind.  He left , which irked you a bit because you were convinced he was being a coward and letting all these years go to waste. 

As you hit the dance floor, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around and saw Wooyoung who was looking down with a sad smile. When you asked him what was wrong, because something inside of you just couldn’t help but to feel worried, he winked at you. You had a confused expression on, but it quickly turned into a smirk when he finger gunned you and told you “The name is Jung Wooyoung.” 

You couldn’t stay mad at him when he was trying to act like you were meeting for the first time. But unlike your first meeting, he took you by the hand and guided you outside. You leaned on the wall, as silence came upon both. But he inhaled deeply and looked at you.

“I will make it up to you.”

“How? Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

He took both your hands, and brought you closer. His cologne smelled like home, he felt like home, you had the urge to hug him, but controlled yourself as you were still ‘mad’ at him. He brought your lips together, and closed the gap once your eyes weren’t looking at him anymore, but at his lips. 

When you separated, he laughed and you just rolled your eyes. You felt like that, that was the end of the night, you were going to go home, sleep and talk with him tomorrow. But he had other plans, as you walked away, he grabbed your arm.

“Hey, what you doing for the rest of your life?" 

You laughed wholeheartedly as you held onto him. 

 "Well, I don't even know what I'm doing tonight." 

Then just like before, you ran to catch the subway. Just like before, you barely had cash to pay individually. Just like before, you laughed your ass off as you tried to go up the stairs at the same station. But unlike before, neither of you were drunk, and you enjoyed your recreation even more than the original. 

You sat at the same bench you ate your French fries as he told you how sorry he was for neglecting your relationship, neglecting you. It wasn’t the best apology ever, I know, you know it, but it was sincere. Both of you promised to never let this happen again, and went to get the ice cream you bought at the same store previously.

As you finished, you were expecting a kiss afterwards, but you weren’t as sure because you had your messy eating habits out of your way. However, when he looked down at you, as he had his arm around your shoulders, he leaned to give you a gentle kiss. 

You smiled. He hugged you and snuggled up to you. All the anger banished away from you, and you weren’t mad at him anymore, you knew you could sort your chaotic schedules together. 

You went back home after feeling tired. He took you back to your apartment and laid in bed with you, he had clothes at your place for improvised occasions like this, so he wasn’t going to go to sleep with some jeans on. As he played with your hair, you were falling asleep. But before you could go to dreamland, he whispered everything you wanted to hear. 

"I never regretted the day that I called you mine, so I call you mine."

Both of you went to sleep with a smile on your faces, and woke up like nothing ever happened.

[shinydelirium]

MLQC Season 2 Chapter 15 (Kiro’s Chapter) Part 4 [Double Courage] & [New Game] Translation [CN]

***SPOILERS*** DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED!!! 

I decided to combine 2 parts into one post since 15-5 was short. Enjoy~

For the previous translation of Chapter 15: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

[Double Courage]

There was no sound of footsteps coming and going outside the door and I was the only one left in the empty utility room.

I know he is still outside. Looking at the closed door, I slowly stepped forward and lifted my head.

It suddenly occurred to me, when I first arrived at the hospital after hearing that Kiro had an accident.

At that time, he was also on the other side, refusing me.

I turned around, leaned against the door, and sat down. Soon, the sound of footsteps quietly leaving came to my ears.

I have to admit, I really can’t help him. I am not strong enough to make him feel more at ease.

People need to accept their own weaknesses and limitations in order to think about what they can do from their own perspective.

The whole space is quiet and my heart is surprisingly calm.

I closed my eyes and replayed all the scenes of my time with Kiro over and over again in my mind.

If I were Kiro, why would I need to use another identity while insisting on solving the problem alone?

If I was admitted to the hospital and refused to see anyone, it must be because there is a serious illness and I don’t know how to deal with others.

And I act alone because it may be dangerous and I don’t want to be dragged down by others or….

MC: Drag others down with me.

My brain is spinning so fast. I always feel that there is something that has constantly plagued me and I have come to a conclusion.

MC:…Kiro’s illness has not been cured?

So everything makes sense now.

From beginning to end, he never said why he was admitted into the hospital.

If he was attacked because of what he did, then he abandoned the identity of “Kiro” and acted under the identity of “Helios” which made it even more logical sense.

It is precisely because the illness has not been cured. He cannot expose his weakness but at the same time, he will also worry that he will be a burden to others because of this.

MC: Kiro, are you trying to be strong again?

Secretly covering up his wounds and then create an identity of another person to carry everything on his back.

But this shouldn’t be a world where only superheroes get hurt.

MC: Kilo, display location.

Following my instructions, an electronic map immediately laid out before my eyes. I looked towards the center of the map and was shocked.

Next to the little bear wearing a small flower is another bear.

Helios hasn’t left. He was just outside the door.

I remember coming in, passing by the fire control room.

I thought for a while, not worrying about it anymore, I reached out my hand and touched the head of the little bear that was close to me, as if I could the person behind it.

MC: Kiro, can you hear me?

As I expected, there was no response.

I carefully tapped the microphone on the collar twice and then muttered to myself.

MC: Kiro, I know you are there. You can just treat this as me talking to myself but listen to me, okay?

MC: I know that I am very small and there are many things I can’t do and can’t help much.

MC: I don’t think it is shameful to admit that I am weak, because I know where to move forward after realizing this.

MC: For example, right now I’m thinking, do I have to learn some hacking skills or any combat skills?

There was a vaguely violent cough outside the door and I couldn’t help but smile.

MC: I know you must have encountered something sad.

MC: I also know that I can’t help you with this. You are afraid that I will only worry more so you choose to stay away from me.

MC: But Kiro, do you know?

MC: Sometimes you are a coward and then you make yourself look strong.

Kiro:….MC

Kiro’s dull voice rang in my ears as if it came from the collar and also from the door behind him.

MC: Kiro, you don’t have to be so strong.

MC: Difficulty is like a giant beast with its teeth and claws bared. A little bear will inevitably be nervous and scared when facing it.

MC: But it doesn’t have to force itself to fight alone because if it were two bears, the courage would be doubled.

MC: The weapon to defeat the beast is often not any sharp knife, but the power of courage.

MC: My courage can be lent to you at any time.

There was a small voice and I knew he was listening to me carefully.

MC: I know you are working hard for everyone so I hope I can also help you in some way.

Next, I started to tell him all the information about the hunter game, Joker and the little boy I learned about.

Rather than watching him fight alone, I will accompany the superhero in my own way.

After Helios closed the door of the utility room, he took out the hidden mini computer from under the console of the fire control room.

This is his temporary stronghold. It is located in the center of the city so it is convenient for his system to scan the entire terrain of Loveland City.

After he hacked into the opponent’s map program and was kicked out, he came to a decision.

He wants to build a brand new system to replace the other party’s authority and control over Loveland.

He opened the program on the mini computer and took out another device.

After the device started up, a beam of light projected into the air, showing an unfinished 3D map.

He sat down and flicked his fingers quickly in the air and the program projected in the air began to change with his movements.

This is a program he developed overnight to scan a map of the city and it is more intuitive than a 2D map.

At the same time, he tried to hack into the opponent’s system again, only this time, he did not bother to snatch the program they made.

He just wants to use their system to master the information of all players and all supply points so that he can enter the next step of the plan.

He quickly worked out a plan to end the game, with every step interlocking. And the first step of all plans must be that she can stay safe.

He knows that once Kilo is enabled, his identity will be exposed to the girl.

But in such a chaotic situation, he can no longer consider that much to ensure her safety.

After finding her, his ecstatic mood made him temporarily forget the anxiety caused by those recent events.

He forgot for a while that Kiro is broken, lonely and silent.

When she heard that she was looking forward to meeting the healthy Kiro, he suddenly recovered.

He is no longer the same Kiro, at least not the Kiro she was expecting.

He still couldn’t stand in front of her as Kiro.

The girl’s voice chattered endlessly, but it made him calmer than ever.

When she said that she wanted to learn hacking techniques or combat skills, he couldn’t help but cough.

At that moment, he was sure that she was serious.

She said that he was a coward.

She said that he doesn’t need to be so strong.

Helios tapped his fingers on the keyboard and gradually stopped.

Never compromise, never give up.

He feels his heart slowly being peeled off. There is a force pushing him forward.

She was right. As long as she was by his side, he would gain great courage.

This courage can support him to do many things and make him feel even more strength.

And the information she brought was really helpful to him.

Although he had investigated some information long ago, some of it was the first time he had heard of it.

The name Joker and Evol may be the main messenger of the game and the boy who can provide teleportation for him.

The so-called “ghost” to “human” transmission is actually done by this young man.

He frowned and began to think about what changes his plan needed to make as a result.

Fast fingers flew over the keyboard again and a “beep” came from multiple devices at the same time.

He raised his eyebrows slightly and his eyes showed unstoppable sharpness.

After scanning the three-dimensional map of the city, the player’s information points have been fully entered, the locations of the supply points have been disclosed to him, and the girl’s location information has also been erased from the game.

Helios: This game is mine.

[New Game]

I leaned against the door and suddenly felt a vibration from my phone. When I picked it up, I found that the phone had a black screen.

Before I had a chance to restart it, the screen automatically lit up and then a line of words were displayed.

“Welcome to the new hunter game.”

New hunter game? I was stunned for a moment, before I realized what had happened, the word “hunter” was marked with a red “X” by the animation effect.

MC: Welcome to…..the new hunter game?”

The red animation effect keeps flashing on the screen, seeming to constantly emphasize the concept of “new game”.

Did Joker change the rules of the game? Why cross out the word “hunter”? What does he want to do?

Unsettling emotions came to my mind. I subconsciously wanted to call Helios but I heard a familiar voice come over the phone.

??: Now, the game management rights will be changed.

??: I hereby announce, the new game has officially started.

This voice….is Helios!

I looked at the phone in disbelief and saw the screen change along with his voice.

“Hunter Game Is Out”

Helios: All the rules of the hunter game are invalidated.

Helios: There is only one rule you have to abide by—“No harm to anyone.”

I looked at the big words “NO FIGHT” displayed on the screen and faintly guessed what Helios wanted to do.

Helios: The communication method will now be opened, allowing all players to establish contact.

Helios: The game system adds a help platform and anyone who needs assistance can upload coordinates.

Helios: The map resumes normal use and all supply points will be publicly marked.

When he released these rules, the signal of my mobile phone showed full frame synchronously; a dialog box for help also popped up on the screen.

Then the phone automatically opened a brand new Loveland City map which not only showed the locations of all supply points but also a panoramic 3D map.

Helios: But don’t be too happy. My game will only be harder.

Helios: All of you, still have to follow my rules.

His tone was blunt, as if he was really the master of the game.

I was a little puzzled. Helios is clearly helping everyone to restore peace in Loveland. Why is he deliberately being so cold?

Although the fog has not dissipated, he can directly announce the end of the game. Why would he go the other way and announce the new rules of the game?

At this time, the screen switched to the surveillance on the streets of Loveland City and Helios seemed to have set up thermal imaging technology to clearly see colorful figures on the screen.

After seeing the contents of the surveillance clearly, my eyes widened unexpectedly—

Many people still pushed and scrambled for the aerosol at the replenishment point, fighting hard, and the scene was chaotic.

It seems that the so-called “new game” and “new rules” are meaningless to them.

Faintly, I seem to understand something.

Even if the game itself is stripped away, some people will still be dominated by fear or some kind of temptation and continue to dwell in the cold-blooded fighting.

So is this also Helios’ consideration?

I looked back at the closed wooden door waiting for his answer.

Helios: If someone insists on going their own way and continue to compete for limited resources…

Helios: The aerosol that you’re competing for will be ineffective at the moment.

Before he finished his words, everyone on the screen seemed to be taken aback. Several people raised the aerosols in their hands and panicked.

Helios: This is my game.

Helios: If you don’t believe me, you can try it.

The picture automatically zoomed in and the aerosol in the person’s hand was clearly exposed---the aerosol valve was automatically opened.

The crowd seemed to have finally realized the existence of the new game and stood there facing each other.

This is the meaning of Helios building a new game—

If the game is announced directly, everyone will continue to compete for aerosol if the fog is not effectively resolved.

That’s why he created another image of the game controller and introduced new game rules.

The purpose is to establish authority, let everyone follow his instructions, and get out of the mindset of fighting in a more orderly manner.

Helios: If you want to live, you must act according to my rules.

Helios: All players will be divided into three levels and displayed on your mobile phone screens according to the length of the remaining survival time.

Helios: Sub-level players need to help emergency level players to obtain aerosol.

Helios: The more people you help, the higher the ranking will be.

Helios: The highest-ranked person can still get a generous bonus.

Helios: Remember, “you are the game itself.”

Helios: Looking forward to your wonderful performance.

Helios completely changed the rules of the game.

If it can be executed smoothly, it will make the hunter game lose its original meaning.

It turns out that this is his “own way” to solve the hunter game?

While sighing, I was also a little worried.

The current situation is undoubtedly a huge change for Joker. In order to take back control,  he will certainly not give up.

I was about to remind Helios to be vigilant but suddenly there was a slight noise outside the door. Helios opened the door in the next second.

Helios: Let’s go.

Helios: Someone has snuck in.

-End of Part 4-

Continue to Part 5 

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

just saw your pinned post and aaa!!! please could we have #49?? mclennon ofc ;)

thank you love 💗

49. “I cant stop thinking about you”

“Id give you everything I got for a little piece a mind!” And with that, he finalised the song.

“Its...its good.” Paul said awkwardly - he’d been put into an uncomfortable position by John, hearing him sing a song that was so clearly about him. A song so distraught, a clear cry for help - and it was Paul evoking these cries as well.

“Yeah, well...” he grumbled, “its one I came up with in India, y’know.” Of course he knew, he’d known within seconds of hearing it - this was a song about their argument. The one that had taken place in India, and the one that has acted as a clear indicator that their relationship has changed; there is no longer an innocence to it, nor is there a nonchalance and ease to it either.

“Um, is it...” Paul wanted to ask if it was about him, though of course he knew it was, still it would be nice to have a little less ambiguity. Instead he opted for asking, “Are you- are you okay?”

With some sterility and a cutting edge coldness to his voice, John responded “Yeah. Never been better.”

Paul nodded at this, not reassured. After something of an awkward silence, John stated, “Ive gotta be goin’ actually - ‘m seeing someone.”

“Alright then, have a good one-like.” Paul said trying to at least finalise their conversation with some normalcy - but watching John just about to leave the room, he felt this ending just didn’t sit right - he had to enquire further, and so in a small voice he called out, “...John?”

“Yeah?”

To his own surprise, he found himself bluntly stating, “Yer not alright; can ye please talk to me?”

“I am talkin’ to ye.” He began to make his way back over to Paul, taking a seat beside him. “Ive been talking to you fer 11 bloody years now - and im still not gettin’ through to you.”

“What’ve you been tryin’ to get through to me?”

John looked away from him, he indicated the answer, but he couldn’t bear to speak the words ‘I love you’ out loud; at least not with such sincerity. He changed the subject, adding, “I cant stop thinking about you. Yer askin’ me if im alright - course im not, ive got you on me fuckin’ mind all the time.”

“I...I didnt know...” Paul trailed off here, he never was good at expressing himself so openly. “I, um, I cant stop thinking about you either.”

Spitefully, he retorted, “Yer full of shit Macca.”

“‘M bein’ honest here John - I cant stop thinking about you, cause im worried about you. Yer drinking a lot, tripping a lot - you show up at the studio and you’re angry or depressed or something or other. Im worried. I want you to be happy.”

He was met with bitter, even resentful response, “Yer not worried about me, you just dont like me bein’ an inconvenience. What if something were to come out, all over the news ‘The Beatles are all really just bastards, like every other fuckin’ human being on the planet’.”

“I dont give a shit about that-“

“Just admit it Paul, you care more about yer reputation then you do about me.”

“Thats not true! And you’re not being fair here either. Im sorry about what happened in India, but-“

“For fucks sake, will ye fuck off with India!” John was always somebody so quick to anger, most people found him impossible to get too close to on the basis that his moods were simply so inconsistent; but Paul had always been able to keep up with him. “Its fuckin’ over now, alright. I gave you a proposition, and you said you you don’t want me-“

“I do want you - I want you so bad, alright? And I dont want to let you go completely, but why cant we keep this casual y’know. If we took it to the level you’re suggesting, we’d both be ruined.” He paused, taking a small breath, and continued, “Im sorry that I cant love you like you want me too, but I want kids someday, and you know, yer right - I don’t want the whole world to hate me, im a coward and you know that. Im sorry, John - but could we not just keep ‘us’ casual?”

John couldn’t bare to shout at him again, because he didn’t want to shout anymore. He been screaming at the world his whole life, and it had never made a difference; no one had ever listened to him. He might as well have just been screaming at brick walls. And so in an agonised voice, he echoed with complete honesty, “If we keep this casual, if I cant have you all the time y’know, if I have to share you with a thousand other birds-like - im gonna lose me fucking mind, Paul. Im going mad already. And I cant stand it any longer; I want you, and only you.”

Paul sighed in response - neither party could give the other exactly what they wanted, and yet they wanted just the same thing.

***

Sorry im taking so long with posting these requests!! I have an essay to write for school today, but after that ive literally got NO homework (whoooooo) so ill be writing up the other fic requests I have in my inbox this week (and maybe uploading another chapter to my longer fic on AO3 called ‘Some People Never Know’)

Keep sending requests in if you want <3