#vent artwork

[natsunenuko]

TW // mental issues, mental absue, harassment, surgery/blood

I'm sorry this one is so long, but please carry on reading. It's a chance for me to not only speak about the situation but let out some steam too. It is unfortunate this announcement comes at the same time the flood occurs on the south of my home country (Poland) and I'm in the endangered zone, luckily so far safe, as I feel my head can't handle more stress.

It's been so long since I've been this personal online. I realized how I didn't feel the urge to vent for 3-4 years by now which is a sign of improving mental health. But my healing is still a process, and I'm afraid it's too hard to carry this rock alone at this point. I fought my thoughts if I should do this and I think just as deeply as I write right now. Yet, I know it's better late than never and I thank deeply my friends for helping me out recently as well as in the past in my lowest. I wholeheartedly owe my life to you.

I couldn't ask for better friends. As years verified, even long lasting relationships might be nothing but a mask and I had to learn the hard way. I ended a friendship of 13 years at the time over a misunderstanding. Other person I put my trust on was nothing but a groomer with morally corrupted sexual tendencies who would take advange of a group of minors while being the only adult among them, yet acting like a person much younger than all of them and pressuring all their mental issues on children instead of seeking help. The latter, I might speak of more in detail when I'm ready.

Long time ago I tried calling out for help but back then, the intrusive thoughts won; "Others have it worse, just work harder.", "No one will give you anything for free, no one will care.", "What people will think of you?". and I would only speak about these things in a closed circle of my friends.

I tried my best in silence by not giving up on my creative passion, working restlessly for years, improving. Hoping I could reach the point I can sustain myself purely on what I make.

But the problem is not being self-sufficient. And it's not about my art...

All of my life it has been me, my momma and my granny. The other two important figures weren't there for us, by choice. (which is hard to say if losing someone you loved is worse than not being cared for in the first place) My rather young self at the time didn't put much thought about it as I didn't understand it but something always felt wrong; my only issues at the time was being "that weird, quiet kid with little to no friends". But despite the hardships, my momma has always been my hero, working without a time for a break or rest so we could live happily, to afford something special from time to time.

However in 2014 my momma has been hospitalised and almost lost her life to wrongly treated ovarian cyst (cyst rapture), with enough blood loss to require emergency surgery...

From that point on things went downhill and the result of that we feel to this very day. To stay afloat we fell into a severe dept. (We didn't have any savings, could only rely on borrowing money or loans) And since I was a child as all of this happened, I've only learned about it all throughfully as I entered adulthood, so I wouldn't need to worry about anything and "just be a kid". Which I really understand, but it doesn't make it easier to handle.

And by now, for several years I keep on trying to earn money, so I could free my momma from this chain and let her live, not survive. I always wanted to get through this quietly, because I never, ever wanted to burden anyone with my home problems. But it grew to a point I might need to grab anything to climb towards the light

The goal is $10 000... which is scarily large number.

I list all the options but Kofi is preferred to keep track of the funds!

My commissions are HERE! (the sheet will receive a slight update in upcoming days) My Kofi is HERE! (Level 4 Tea is free headshot drawing every month!) HERE's other services I do (adopts, brushes, etc) I plan to do paid requests for my friday streams on occasion! Anything else I come up with I hope to include in here! Every person who donates will be part of "Thank you" list where I hope to shoutout everybody, cause every penny matters. I want this situation to end...

[dreamdropsystem]

i'm not a violent dog | i don't know why i bite - shane

[lightprkdraws]

"you are defective"

[twptwp]

Introducing little tiny titmouse knight, a strong knight who does not want to be strong anymore

[dissociationdude]

Stranger in The Mirror

[zentropyart]

"Death of an angel"

a small comic about the feeling of not having much time left

[ghost-sketchbook]

[xcactusarto]

🫳

🥹

[dreamdropsystemarchive]

i'm just a kid.. i cant deal.. i can't handle.. star is just a kid.. - Star

◇

i'm a child alter. Star agelside to 8. Star haven't aged since the body was 8. i'm just a kid. i am stunted. i can't age.. at least not now. mom hurts us so much. i can't control i cat like child. Shane can't control it. other system littles can't control it. but she makes us feel bad cause body is adult. we have to act like adult. we choose to be age stunted. that's not!! how!! traum!! works!! mom will never understand us.. we need to leave this home.. - Star

-

this little angel angel loses their feathers from fear, trauma and grief - Star

◇

we are so low. we feel so bad. we are so close, but so far. we can't cope. we are scared . we're fighting but feel like drowning.. the wings.. Star's wings are falling apart. the angels of the system are hurt. they hurt bad. the system hurts bad. Star just want to help. Star mood booster. energy booster. postive holder. but Star also trauma/memory holder. it's hard. it feels like Star's wings are being cut off. feathers ripped off. we can't cope. we don't belong here. we just want to b happy - Star

[autisticdreamdrop]

communication with SH and suicidal ideation is so hard.. Comet can't do it without help..

[dreamdropsystem]

i'm just a lost lonely lonely fawn,, wandering,, wandering,, - Shane

art without text below

[sunzy-creates]

“Ghost” a comic written and illustrated by Sunzy_Creates (me!)

I’ve been posting on here way too much. But I finished this today and couldn’t not post it.

[vacant2007]

[twptwp]

This is artwork from a little while ago, fret not I feel okay now. The topics are a little upsetting so be wary if you read it. I share it because the colours I find very pretty! I love colours!

[dissociationdude]

UNCONDITIONALLY IN LOVE

[the-last-panqueque]

Un pequeño vent art que tenía por ahí... por cierto, olvidé mencionarles que ya renuncié a mi trabajo? Jajaja. Soy libre!!! En fin, me animé a volver a hacer algo en este estilo, fue el primer estilo que tuve cuando empecé en dibujo digital, creen que debería traerlo de vuelta?

-PQQ