#wanted to add one more but had to force stop my computer and i didn't save the psd so tew bahd you get this anon

[connorjesup]

I don't want to see you that often. But I do… So what? PHAYA AND THARN — THE SIGN (2023)

[coconutdays]

seat taker

s. you have a crush on the smartest and sexiest guy in your lit class who happens to ride a motorcycle with spooky season around the corner. what ever might happen?

w.c. 10.6k

w. fem! reader, biker!geto! x reader , fluff!, smut! (its more so toward the end so u can read until it cuts off to that lol if u want)

a/n: based on this idea I posted about biker!geto from uni lol, I didn't really proofread so ill get to that sometime later after I shower and eat lol just wanted to get this out

"go sit next to him then."

you take a nervous gulp from your water bottle as you walk to your lit class. the effort was a bit clumsy considering you were using one hand to open and close it while the other held your phone, your friend on the other line.

"never, would I ever have the balls to do that. i may be confident but I am not as delusional as the caveman gym bro that took your seat so he could sit next to me in anthropology."

she laughs on the other end, a hysterical giggle at your backtalk.

"well then he's just gonna keep thinking you're creepy cause you stare."

you let out a haughty scoff, "as if I acknowledge his existence." a finger of yours goes up in the air, as if she could see you being a smartass about your discretion, "I never look at him. I only get in a glance or two when he asks the professor a question or when he raises his hand to answer a question."

"you're insane."

"unfixable." you sigh prettily and proudly before giving a more serious response to her first suggestion, "and it would be really awkward if I sat next to him either way. the class is packed and everyone has their assigned unassigned seats, the white haired guy that always sits next to him would probably push me off his seat if he ever saw me there."

"that is true. some girl did that to me in stats and I was like ??? have you not been sitting somewhere else this entire semester? pissed me off that I had to sit somewhere else and take someone's seat."

you're about five seconds away from your lecture hall door when you add to her complaint.

"right. and then that person looks at you funny cause you took their seat and then argh–its just a fucking domino effect." you turn around and take a step into the class, the sight before you bringing emphasis to the last words that you meant to finish off with, "fuck seat takers..."

"huh. what was that last part?"

your classroom is full. every one of the 200 seats are seemingly just taken. it's a sight you're not used to when you walk into class. normally, when you decide to go in, about half of the class is there, and you were starting to curse the fact that you gave yourself the luxury to finish the last of your reading for next week ahead of time. those ten minutes didn't seem like they'd make a difference, they sure do now...

with white haired guy sitting in YOUR seat.

its across the lecture hall from where he normally sits, next to Geto, who just so conveniently has an empty seat next to him, the only empty seat.

poker face, poker face, poker face.

it's all you repeat to yourself as you walk up the carpet steps to the row where Geto is sitting and try to continue the conversation with your friend.

there's no white noise, some people are typing away at their computers and others are chatting with the person next to them or near them, so it gives you room to explain yourself a little without being heard.

"everybody's already in class, and white haired guy is in my seat dude, and guess which seat isn't fucking taken." there's an edge to your voice, however it lays undetectable with your calm face.

"WAITTTTTTTT. AHAHA–"

you can feel your body heating up in nerves when you start walking between Geto's row, to the seat next to him.

"stop f/n. I am on the verge of committing a serious crime. I'm going to actually end up in handcuffs by the end of today. the–"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA." She keeps laughing at you as you force yourself to not care that you're pulling out and sinking into the chair next to Geto. If he acknowledged you, you wouldn't have known, his mere presence something you deleted from your mind in order to process the current events before you right now.

a high pitched and drawn out HA is the last of her laughs you hear before she speaks again, "I basically manifested this for you. you should be thanking me."

"fuck your manifesting. I'm not excited for this." you don't care to filter your voice into a whisper, it stays at its normal tone even though you're next to Geto because he didn't even know what the conversation was about anyway.

you balance your phone between your shoulder and cheek while you begin to take out your iPad and journal for class.

"ask him for a ride on his motorcycle after heh." she pokes at you and you feel like you can hear her poking out her tongue in malevolence.

even though you're slightly grumpy at your predicament, you manage to make a comment accompanied by a sigh, "with the way midterms are looking, id need a different kind of ride."

"you can ask him for that too~"

"shut up, you menace."

"hehe," she strikes evilly, "well, I'll leave you to your class with your boyfriend."

"no, stop, the class doesn't even–"

"bye!"

and she hung up on you, leaving you to flip mindlessly through your notebook while you try to ignore the presence of the hot hot hot piece of sexiness next to you.

suguru geto has been at the forefront of your mind for weeks now. you had always slightly admired him from afar, considering your actual seat in the lecture hall was across the room from him. he was undeniably attractive, with his long black always tied up in a bun and clean outfits. and his intelligence, he was always one to garner thoughtful debates in class in response to the professors teachings. his calmness towards everything was enough to make you swoon at the thought go him being that patient with you too.

and his stupid motorcycle, the thing that made it all click for you.

you had been walking to the library after class to meet with your classmate to work on an anthropology presentation when you caught a glimpse–stare–of him getting onto a motorcycle and pulling a helmet over his head before he quickly rode off to wherever he was going. for some reason, it really got your gears grinding and wishing you could just jump this man and do some truly desperate things.

he was all you thought about after. none of the other cute guys in your classes could hold a candle to the being that is suguru geto, renouncing you into a pining mess that looked forward to every lit class–even though you pretended you didn't care for him.

god, what even was the point in all of this if you weren't ever going to make a move? if he just SPOKE to you first maybe you could get some rizz in–

"you have pretty handwriting."

"I–what?"

you perk up like a deer in headlights at the sudden voice of Geto, wondering if you're the one he's speaking to.

and he is, he's spinning a pen between his fingers while he looks at you, slightly gesturing towards the journal in your hands, your cursive covering the pages of it.

"oh!" you're still caught off guard, doe eyes in the face of his sudden and scary, to you, comment, "thank you. can't even read it sometimes though, it's like trying to understand another language when I have to study what I write after."

he smiles slightly at your comment, a whisp of his dark hair swaying near his right eye, "I think it'd be cool to try and translate."

you resist the urge to curl into a ball and wish he would just look away from you, but you persevere, holding out your journal to him.

"be my guest." you say without hesitance

he sets his pen aside when he grabs it, immediately flipping through the pages and starting to skim through your notes, his eyes moving side to side as he does. you get a good view of him while he goes about trying to decipher your writings. he's wearing a black shirt today, it's not exactly tight, but not loose either. it gives you the perfect view of his arms bulging a bit, his biceps' size is an eye sore for you.

he's wearing these black stud earrings too, only visible because of the bun that he keeps his long hair. you wish you could see how long his hair actually was sometimes, he had never worn it down to class.

"looks like I'm more versed in your cursive than you are." he glances at you, a faint smile on his lips

your eyebrows raise a little and your eyes widen, "what? you can read it?"

he closes the journal and slides it to your spot on the very long lecture table. geto then leans over to your side a bit, close to your ear, and starts to point across the room to his white haired friend.

"see that idiot with the pitch black glasses?"

the question sends chills down your spine, the proximity making your heart race.

"y-yeah."

"silver spoon baby. learned cursive when he was four and it's basically incomprehensible unless you've been sharing notes with him since high school."

a laugh flows out of your lips, etching a smile on your face. your shoulder slightly bumps into his chest from it before you turn your head to directly face his.

"and I'm taking it that you're well versed in his cursive then too?"

he looks at you with a slight dreaminess in his eyes, his height still domineering over you even if you were both seated next to each other.

"have to be, would have failed lots of class projects if I didn't"

you take the opportunity to poke about the whereabouts of his friend in your seat now that he's been mentioned.

"and why's he sitting over there then?" you blink up at him for a response

at this, geto sinks back to his original position on his chair, face a million miles away from yours now as he goes back to fiddling with his pen.

"he's...trying to flirt with the girl he's talking to right now." he shakes his head a little, although there isn't much of a disappointed look in his face, it's more entertained. he was probably used to his friend's antics by now.

"ah. at least it looks like she's into it." you dispense the weight of your head onto the palm of your hand as you look at his friend with him, "could not have been me."

"what?"

you don't turn to look at him as you respond, "this Andrew Tate gym bro took my friend's seat to sit next to me in my anthropology class the other day. tried speaking to me like those guys who swear all you need is a computer to become a millionaire. worst ninety minutes of my life."

you hear a puff of a laugh from geto

"I can guarantee you Gojo has better skills than that. he's probably talking about his Halloween party for this weekend."

you flip your head to look at him suddenly, "he's that guy?"

every big party that everyone talked about on campus was always held by Gojo. they had numerous amounts of beers and liquor bottles. always the best music, the best hookup stories, the best snacks, everything. you hadn't put a face to the name until now, although it should've clicked when you found out Geto's name. his was always being paired with Gojo, as some would put it, two pretty best friends.

geto could see the gears turning in your head and his eyes creased a little at your realization in a smile, "yea, that's the guy."

you're a bit taken aback by his confirmation and turn to take another look at gojo before looking back at geto.

amused, geto speaks again, "by all means, go for it, he's–"

you quickly shake your head and stretch out both your hands to frantically do the same, "no, god, no. i'm not into him. it's just I didn't know that was him. I always hear good things about his parties."

geto nods, "he has an affinity for making sure everyone has a good time. you ever been to one?"

you shake your head, "never, haven't had the chance to or been invited."

"you should go to the Halloween one." geto suggests, gesturing his pen in your direction before going back to spinning it around his fingers, "you know where it is?"

you shake your head again, now completely facing his direction, the attention you were giving to his friend gone and now placed on him.

geto gestures towards your journal and reaches for it, "may I?"

you nod, curious at what he was going to do.

he flips the journal and opens the very last page, guaranteed to be blank and begins writing something on it.

when he pushes it back to your side of the table, you can see what he's written now, an address.

"that's where the frat house is."

you wiggle your eyebrows a little at him, "you in the frat too?"

geto laughs fully this time and shakes his head, "no. I have my own apartment. that's just gojo's thing."

you acknowledge him and look over the address written on your journal, "I'll think about it. have to wear my costume somewhere right?"

"what is it?" he tilts his head curiously, genuine interest in what you would choose to dress up as.

you try to bite back the smile at the knowledge you have of your costume and choose to leave it up in the air for him, tapping your journal on his shoulder.

"now that is something for you to find out if you see me at the party."

just how it's entailed in mean girls, you dress up slutty for gojo's halloween party. you wore a playboy bunny costume, close to one of the sluttier things you can wear, but it's rare recently for girls to wear as opposed to the trendy fairy and angel costumes lately.

although it isn't exactly halloween yet, its the first out of the two parties gojo was holding in honor of the holiday. next weekend there would be another one on the actual day, but you didn't know if you'd go that one yet, you were going to see what this one was all about though.

you brought your friend with you, hooking her up with the address geto provided you because she had been aching to go to one of gojo's parties too.

your eyes light up when you see geto's sleek black motorcycle parked near the garage as the both of you walk to the door.

"god, there's so many people inside." your friend all but screeches in excitement and you would too if it weren't for the nerves of impending doom that geto, your everything crush and classmate, was going to see you wearing this.

the chills that come from the thought make you rub your shoulders for heat as you walk inside and the blaring of the music becomes even more booming now that it isn't being shielded by the walls of the house.

"where do you think the drinks are?" you try to speak up, a trace of small worry at bumping into geto laced in your voice.

she raises her head up and looks around to see where she could spot the alcohol until she starts dragging you by the hand, "the kitchen is over here I think!"

she pushes the both of you past clusters of people, paving the way for her desire for vodka and it makes you bump into someone a bit roughly.

you try to voice out your apology quickly as she keeps dragging you along, looking back at who you just bumped into.

it's geto.

his eyes show mild surprise, not one for entirely showing his emotions, they're widened a bit and he looks a bit taken aback while his eyes rake up and down your body–still being dragged away. he's not wearing a costume, sporting a white t-shirt and jeans instead.

the words of apology you were going to utter fall off as you make eye contact and realize it was him you bumped into, he who just got an obvious look at your costume.

you're glad the speed of your friend makes the interaction short lived due to her lightning speed in suddenly bringing you to the kitchen, which is lined with beer and liquor of all kinds, every space of the spacious kitchen taken up by alcohol.

you hurriedly reach to serve yourself a cup of strawberry vodka, hoping that the first sip and those after might make your nerves dilute. when you turn around to talk to your friend, who's probably already served herself straight flavorless vodka, she's being flirted with by her anthropology club crush. she gives you a quick glance, a combination of 'oh my god oh my god' and 'sorry' being communicated to you.

you smile at her knowingly and point towards where everyone was dancing and talking, marking that that's where you would be while you left her to go as far as she wanted with the boy in front of her.

you're halfway through the crowd to make it to the patio when a voice is suddenly in your ear from behind.

"is it as cool as people say?"

you jump at the intrusion and cradle the cup of vodka to your chest and look at who just spoke to you.

it's geto, exactly behind you, his large frame towering over your body and leaned over so you could hear him.

you're stopped in your tracks and turn around to face him now, trying hard not to feel intimated by your basically half naked right in front of him.

"yeah!" you nod

geto turns his head a little from his spot at least a foot above you and leans down again, at level heads with you

"sorry, say that again." he looks at you earnestly, wanting to be able to properly hear your answer with the loud music echoing into your ears and his.

"I said yeah! I didn't know parties could be this packed!" you say, taking a nervous sip from your cup as you look at him

"what happened to your friend?" geto keeps his posture the way it is to keep talking to you

"the guy she likes started talking to her!" you exclaim past the loud blare of music.

"ah." he nods, taking a quick glance to the kitchen and spotting your friend smiling eagerly at the guy in a jason costume in front of her. "what are you going to do then?"

you blink cluelessly, haven't actually thought about until he asked you.

"dance!" you look around the room so he could look with you. bodies pressed against each other and bodies dancing by themselves all across the room.

geto smiles and straightens himself before reaching a hand out to you and gives you a look of 'wanna take it?'

you can't help the bashful smile that makes its way to your face as you hesitantly take his hand. he softly brings you closer to him, not as close as the other horny bodies in the room, but it's a little intimate and makes you feel intoxicated. he puts his other hand high on your waist, making sure to avoid the sluttiness beneath that line of your torso considering your outfit, and he starts to sway the both of you to the music. he holds you to himself with you hook an arm over his shoulder and use the other hand to hold your drink, singing along to the music with a toothy smile.

it was playful, the interaction with him, a fun setting between the both of you. the combination of that and the large heap of strawberry vodka you served yourself and managed to finish by the second song with him were the reason for your increasing comfortable nature with him. you were laughing and laying your head on his chest frequently through your endless bursts of energy and gasping breaths for relief.

he was smiling throughout the entirety of it, never getting too comfortable though, and keeping his hands where they had originally been.

"I just wanna be one of your girls tonight!" you sing at the top of your lungs.

geto lets go of one of the hands encircling you and instead reaches for one of the hands splayed across his shoulder and chest, caressing it with a thumb.

you tug at him a little with your other hand and he leans down to hear what you're about to say.

"wanna get drinks?" you ask, craving a sweet hard seltzer instead of another pour of vodka.

"you want something?" geto asks you back

"are there any strawberry drinks?" you blink up at him

geto looks like he's thinking for a second, trying to remember the usual drinks his best friend caters, before he nods, "yeah there are. want me to get you one?"

you nod eagerly at him and follow him to kitchen. he had taken a hold of your hand when he noticed you were going to accompany him, he didn't want you to struggle getting through all those people.

he had been bent over to look through a cooler on the floor before he stood up and held out a strawberry daiquiri to you, "here."

"thank you." you nod before you jump and sit on the countertop so you could rest and drink

you notice geto doesn't have a drink in his hand when he leans against the kitchen island in front of you.

"you didn't want a drink?"

geto shakes his head calmly, "gotta drive back."

"oh." you remember his motorcycle from earlier near the garage and strike another question so he doesn't know that you know he has a motorcycle. incredible logic.

"what kinda car do you have?"

"ah, not a car, a motorcycle." he smiles slightly, the answer was humble

"oh~"you drag out–as if it was new information to you–and continue drinking from your bottle.

"you have a ride back home though?" geto asks, crossing his arms over his chest so he could be more comfortable while listening to you.

"uhh," you reach for your phone and see a message from your friend asking if it was okay for her to go to McDonalds with her crush, "well I was going to uber with my friend, but she just had a change of plans."

"I can take you home." he offers genuinely, tilting his head in await for your answer.

"In your motorcycle?!" you blurt out

he starts laughing heartily at your answer and smirks at you when he speaks again, "never been on one?"

"no." you shake your head, a bit intimidated, "what if I fall. im literally naked im gonna get cut up by the road."

geto smiles at you, "that's a fair concern, but I'll give you my helmet and let you borrow my jacket, it's big, it should cover you up a bit no?"

although the alcohol leaves your brain empty, you think it over which involved nothing but staring at him in supposed 'thought' before you nod, "okay."

"can I give you my number? so you can send me your address?" geto asks, shuffling a little bit closer to you

"mhm." you hand your phone to him and watch as he types away into your phone before he hands it back to you. when you stare back at his contact name, suguru geto, it makes a dawn of realization wash over you.

"you don't know my name, rig–"

"y/n."

you do a double take at how fast he says it and his eyes crease at your reaction.

"what?"

"you get involved in the lectures a lot." he takes note for you

"oh." you sink back into yourself

"do you know mine?"

you shyly respond with a, "yea, you get involved a lot too..."

"good to know." he grins a little, watching as you take the last sip of your drink and gesturing back towards the dancing scene, "wanna go back?"

"yeah." you confirm softly, taking the hand he gives you so you can get off the countertop smoothly. and when your feet touch the ground, you yelp, "ow ow ow ow!"

the hour of pure dancing and jumping around had not been a good rival for your new and tall heels. they were a height you had walked before, but the shoes themselves were new and not worn in, causing a great deal of pain across your entire foot.

geto held you by just below your armpits, the worry he had seeping through in his widened eyes and his leaning over to see if he find out what was wrong with you.

"what's wrong?" he asks quickly

"the heels," you scrunch up your nose in pain and sigh, "they hurt like a bitch now that I got a bit of rest."

you can tell geto feels bad about your pain by the way he grimaces for you and plants you on the countertop again. he suddenly kneels down and begins to work at the clasps of your heels.

"you can borrow my shoes. that sound alright?" he looks up at you from where he's at, already sliding one of the heels from your feet.

you're quick to deny, "but what about you?"

"satoru and I are the same size, I can just ask him for a pair, he has a million."

you give in at his response, embarrassed, "okay."

"you want me to take you home now?" he lightheartedly smiles as he works on the other heel, "I think you can walk in my shoes, but dancing doesn't seem doable."

"well yea." you say dejectedly, a little frown etching itself on your face when he finally comes back up, his lips quirk up a little when he sees it

"wait for me here then." he says, putting your shoes next to you on the countertop before he walks off a little hurriedly to you assume gojo's room.

when geto walks you to his motorcycle, he takes your heels and puts them in the compartment box of it for you, then takes his helmet and immediately puts it on your head.

an 'oomf' leaves your mouth at the sudden weight of it and he looks a little amused as he starts working at the straps of it.

"there you go."

he smirks a little as he looks at the, very large in comparison to you, helmet, and picks up his jacket that he brought back from gojo's room to put on you.

"there we go" he sighs, almost like he's proud of himself and gets on the motorcycle, turning his torso a little to pat behind him for you to get on too.

when you get on and take in the feeling of sitting on a motorcycle for the first time, he's turned around and looking at his phone, pinching and zooming in on the route to your apartment.

"you actually live pretty close to me." he murmurs, noting what roads to take.

"yeah?" you yawn, laying your head on his back

"alright," geto says, starting up his motorcycle, revving it up a bit, "hug me tight okay?"

you nod sleepily and wrap your arms around him, brain so eased by the alcohol in your system that you don't overthink it, as if your sober self wouldn't be screaming and crying on the inside during this exact situation.

geto drives off at a decent pace, some part of you thinking that this might not be the speed he normally drives off and that he was taking it a bit slower just for you. you could feel him breathe in and out all throughout the ride, his chest and stomach were rising and falling underneath your touch. you fell half asleep on him halfway through it, managing to grasp onto him like a child with their stuffed animal, and unable to resist the heaviness of your eyelids.

you blink back to reality at the sudden stop of movement, the stilling air was no longer brushing past your skin and the noise of wheels screeching against the road was gone.

after geto helps you get his helmet off, he hangs it on one of the handles and takes your heels out of the compartment box.

"this is your place right?"

another yawn flutters past your mouth again and you hold out your pointer finger to say yes.

"alright." geto says, watching as you lead the way into and through your apartment and to your place. he had placed a ghost of his hand near your back in case you started to trip up from his shoes considering their size in comparison to your feet. the walk was quiet considering your focus on making it to your door and the overwhelming sleepiness dawning on you.

when you get to your door you slip off geto's shoes and them to him, taking your heels from him in return.

"thank you, geto." you hold try not to yawn again, doe eyes sleepily fluttering at him

"you can call me by my first name." he comments comfortingly, "and no problem. see you in class?"

"yeah." and this time you do yawn, again, before you open your door and walk inside, looking at him while you hold onto the frame.

"alright then." he looks down at you from across the doorway, one hand in his pocket, the other holding onto his shoes, "get some rest okay?"

"okay." you almost murmur, your bed calling out to you.

you get to class at the time you usually do the following class meeting. the weather forecast had been a little chilly, so you opted for a cozy, off the shoulder sweater. it was fashionable and you had been dying to use it the moment you saw the weather forecast the night before.

you're scribbling notes onto your iPad this time, going over lecture notes from your earlier class that day. there were some things you forgot to add and that's what you always used this time for before class started. you see the class start filling in minute by minute out of your peripheral vision as you do this.

your habit of pretending to not care about suguru's presence is still existent, so all you can see for a fleeting second when you look into your backpack for a mint is that he is indeed sitting at his normal spot with gojo.

there was no chance to look at him that day in class, he hadn't spoken, which wasn't really rare, sometimes you wouldn't speak in class either. you, however, did speak in class that day, the module that the professor was teaching that day had piqued your interest a great amount and thus called for a great amount of your interaction with the lesson.

by the end of class, you were setting quick reminders on the notes you had taken of what was the most important before you started packing your bag to leave. the sound of feet and shuffling to leave the class a bit noisy, but it could let you make out the distant loud voice of gojo, probably talking to suguru.

"I have been on my best behavior. I do not know what you mean by that Suguru." "No no no that was a favor, look where it got you." "Oh you are such a wuss."

It was only a little appealing considering the fact that you couldn't hear what suguru was saying and the things that gojo was saying didn't let you get any clues as to what they were talking about. oh well.

you wanted to go home and start studying for a test tomorrow, so you started walking out of class, past suguru and gojo's line of view.

you heard a smack, like one of them had hit the other.

and gojo's voice, "idiot."

you were sitting at your desk, going over the last of your test review when you felt your phone buzz across the desk and picked it up

suguru

hey

y/n

hi

suguru

you wanna take satoru's seat next class?

y/n

he wants to flirt with mika again?

suguru

not rlly lol.

y/n

?????

suguru

I think it'd be cool to switch desk buddies every once in a while ;)

y/n

lmaooo. I won't tell mika if that's what you're scared of

suguru

haha, that's not rlly the case, but just take his seat

y/n

okay?

when you go to class again that same week, you hesitantly take gojo's seat. there was no follow up text from suguru after you said your okay and it was a little off putting. of course it had only been that night and the day after that he hadn't texted again, but it was a little weird, especially for it being the very first text conversation he strikes with you. the only thing that had been exchanged between either of you in your messages had been your address to him from gojo's party.

there were no notes for you to go over, there was no test or important knowledge that you had to use soon in any upcoming classes, so you were left to wait for the class to begin while you aimlessly scrolled through your phone and watched people come into class.

three minutes had passed before suguru and gojo were walking into class together. gojo was rubbing his friend's shoulder rather roughly, a fang filled smile on his face as he said something to him. suguru didn't seem to mind it, like many things, his eyes still had that warmth they always had, but it looked like he had said something back.

gojo playfully shoved suguru forward by the back before he laughed evilly and walked to your original seat, if you were right, you could see his bright blue eyes flick to you for a second behind his glasses before he smiled at the girl he flirted with last week.

you look up at suguru as he finally gets to the seat next to you.

"hey." he sighs with a smile as he plops into the seat.

"hey." you smile only halfway, a little tired from staying up to finish a homework the night before.

"sorry about the cryptic texts." he starts to apologize, moving his chair a little closer to yours, "satoru took my phone."

ah. that's why it seemed so out of character

"it's fine." you reassure, "they were a little off putting to read."

suguru scratches at the back of his neck, "I'm sorry about that. I meant to text after but I felt awkward."

"really? about?"

for the first time, you see him stumble on what to say, hesitance obvious when he opens and closes his mouth for a painfully slow second before he manages to respond, "to see if you were coming to the party on actual Halloween night this weekend."

"oh." your mouth opens in a little oh, oblivious to what he really wanted to say, "I'm not too sure. my friend that I went to the party with is spending it with that same guy she left with. so I don't have anyone to go with. plus I already used my costume."

"what's wrong with using the playboy bunny costume again?"

you eye him, disappointed, and lean over to flick his forehead, "i...am not an outfit repeater, suguru. the people who saw me at last week's party are going to remember me and say 'she's using the same costume again, what a loser'"

he gazes back at you as if you pat his head instead of just flicking it, warmth and a hint of mischief seeping into his stare, "you're right, you did catch a lot of attention."

"what?"

suguru leans back in his seat and answers, "you looked beautiful. it was hard to ignore."

"for who?"

"for me and every guy with eyes at the party."

he seems calm and confident when he says it, but his cheeks and ears start to get a slight pinkish hue as he awaits your response.

you try to keep looking at him, fighting the need to look away and wait for the professor to start class, your flustered face saying all too well what you're feeling, "what am I supposed to say to that?"

"you don't have to." suguru moves forward, positions his feet to face you as well as his face, and puts his elbow on the table, slanting his body onto it a little, "The president of gojo's frat asked for your name. He really liked you."

"Zenin?!"

"You like him?" he asks, with the tone of a guy who would try to set you up with the president if you said yes.

you shake your head, gaze looking down in embarrassment, "no no. it just caught me off guard..."

"if you like Toji it's fine," he tries to lower his head so he could catch your eye again, speaking earnestly yet something about it sounds like it's fake, it's weird, "he's like a dog, treat him well and he's loyal. although he can be brutally possessive, probably the type to leave hickeys on your legs if you're going to be with him and wear a costume like the one from the party."

"no, I don't like him. he's not my type." you answer meekly, having felt a bit of pressure from his boasts of the frat president.

"no?"

"no."

and before he can continue with his intense conversation again, you're saved by your professor, dramatically entering the class and bellowing for all of you to pay attention to him.

when your class ends, you try and succeed at scampering away from suguru before he can get a word out. as if she possessed magical powers, your friend called you the moment your professor ended the lesson. within the millisecond her name popped up on your phone, you grabbed at your phone at put it to your ear.

"hello?"

"hey hey! I have a question!"

you pay no mind to suguru as you haul your backpack over your shoulders and begin to walk out of class.

"what's up?"

"do you want the extra halloween costume I bought? levi is taking me to dinner on halloween for our date and I won't get to use it."

"the fembot costume?!"

you can almost makeout the banter between suguru and gojo a way's away behind you as you walk down the concrete steps of the building.

"yeah! you can go to gojo's party in it!" she beams, before her voice gains a bit of malice, "you can dance with motorcycle guy again~"

"go there by myself?" you groan, almost wanting to stomp your feet on the pavement beneath you

"lots of girls go by themselves to parties!"

"well I've never done that." you grumble

"aw come on. use the costume and go for me. pretty pleaseeeee."

"I'm going to give you a reason to be scared on halloween if this goes south for me. got it?"

it's cold when you get to gojo's party and you're beyond psyched out of your mind. from the unbelievably slutty costume that let everyone see your naked body in panties due to sheer babydoll material and the fear of coming across a very handsome suguru or toji zenin, who as handsome as he was might be able to seduce you, but you didn't want him like you did suguru.

you're more conscious of the stares now, due to suguru's previous comment and the fact that this costume was way more revealing.

on instinct you rush to the kitchen and get a strawberry daiquiri like the one suguru got for you exactly a week ago. you didn't want to get drunk tonight considering you came by yourself, so reaching for the strawberry vodka again was not within your list of options.

your eyes were on high alert as you pushed yourself through the countless bodies dancing, trying to remain unseen.

it doesn't give you cause to hide for some reason, considering he's suguru's friend, but you see satoru strut to the kitchen in a slutty firefighter costume. he was wearing the pants and boots, and nothing on top but a set of suspenders. classic.

however, you do a double take when you suguru geto wearing that same exact costume. you swear you feel your eye twitch in frustration when your eyes see his hair finally down, splayed across his back and chest, and get a peek of a tattoo tracing his spinal structure, bone for bone, going all the way up his back until it gets interrupted by his hair. his arms are practically calling to you when he fist bumps a toji zenin wearing a prisoner costume, they flex and bulge at the action. his abs are all perfectly prominent and–

he just made eye contact with you.

you hadn't gojo walk up to him and whisper something into his ear, probably that you were here.

fuck you satoru gojo.

suguru smiles immediately and turns to walk to you, leaving you to stay in place and not run away from him.

"you bought another costume?"

"no," you feel your chest heave at the sight of him, breath getting caught in your throat with his very shirtless self right in front of you. it makes you look off to a girl dancing behind him when you continue, "my friend gave me hers because she didn't end up dressing up."

"you want me to bring zenin?" he points a thumb behind him, towards the kitchen, face the definition of calm and suave.

you glare at him this time and take a sip of your daiquiri

"what? feeling shy?" he smiles down at you, if he weren't such a peaceful seeming person, you would have said it was condescending

"I'm not into zenin." a tinge of irritation already seeping into your voice.

"you sure?" he moves closer to you, your face right smack in front of his chest.

"yes." you jut your chin at him, done with his shenanigans

his lips twitch a little when he tugs your strawberry daiquiri out of your hands, grabs you by the neck, thumb close to your chin, and says, "open your mouth." he immediately starts to chug from your daiquiri and the thought of realization dawns on you of what he was about to do.

you open your mouth and he pushes his body closer to yours as he spits the drink into your mouth, his eyes solely on yours as he does it besides for when he briefly looks at something or someone behind you rather haughtily. he's still holding you and intently watching when you swallow it down immediately. that familiar happy crease of his eyes sketched itself across his face after.

you're heaving a little, star struck by the action the both of you just committed, "what was that suguru?"

"scaring off zenin. you don't want him right?"

his eyelids flutter a bit, something yours did whenever they were sleepy and it makes you search into his eyes more. your curiosity dying when you see the sudden red veins clouding the whites of his eyes. and you push him off.

"are you kidding me? you're high?"

"and drunk." he smiles, not minding your pushing him off and still inserting himself into your personal space again.

you try to speak and can't, solely out of irritation at the fact that he did that because of his intoxicated state. you bite your lip to stop yourself from overreacting and settle for shaking your head.

"you don't like guys who smoke?" he asks, genuine concern laced with his stupid crossed persona at the moment, "I tend to never smoke, but satoru passed me his joint when I was already at the 'whatever happens' point of a tequila bottle ."

"I really don't care about that in a guy, as long as he's not a musty constant weed user that can never cope with his life." you roll your eyes at him slightly, "but you just spit alcohol into my mouth because you're crossed as fuck."

"no." he scoffs, now entirely entranced in his conversation with you.

"yes."

"I spit alcohol into your mouth so zenin wouldn't come up to you."

the response makes you cross your arms over each other, "a simple 'hey she's not into you like that' would have sufficed."

"where's the fun in that?" its a serious question for him, you can tell by the way he patiently waits for your answer

irked, you look up at the ceiling while biting your cheek, trying to gather yourself again before you say, "sober up geto." and turning to walk away.

you made it your mission to stay hidden the entire party, having entered the deal with your best friend that if the night turned sour for you, she would come with her boy whatever to pick you up in his car

after their date.

which wasn't going to end until an hour or two.

the garage had stayed open to the enormous frat house, although there weren't any people in it. people had respected the space, leaving the miscellaneous in it untouched such as the two cars and...suguru's bike.

you eyed it from the rather comfy bean bag in the darkest corner of the garage, feeling a fight or flight instinct at the mere glimpse of it whenever you looked up from your phone.

it had been almost two hours since you last suguru and you were striving to keep the streak going on longer.

"told you I'm going home satoru." a wary and very sobered up voice says when they open the door to the garage, "I drank enough water, I'm sober."

it's suguru.

there is no stagger in his step and his posture is refined as he walks to lean again the trunk of the car furthest from you and closest to his bike. you remain hidden due to the cars covering you from his line of sight as well as the sheer darkness of the corner.

he's wearing a shirt now, another black one, and he rakes his hands across face when he gives a defeated sigh. you hoped he wouldn't notice you.

this was your Friday the 13th movie for sure.

suguru pulls outs his phone from one of the spacious pockets of his fireman pants and he starts to type away immediately. there's a slight buzz from your phone seconds within the action.

suguru

are you still here?

I'm sobered up now.

he shoves his phone back in his pocket after. and you watch as he stays where he is, crossing his arms across his chest while he waits a good five minutes for you to respond, which you don't do. he gets his phone out again after and taps something randomly before he puts his phone up to his ear.

buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz

the strong buzzing of your phone on your thigh make a ricochet that gets's fine tuned ears pick up quickly.

"y/n?" he's shining his phone's flashlight on you, squinting his eyes just a little to try and make you out.

nervous, you mutter, "what."

suguru turns the light off and sighs, walking to your corner, his eyes already getting adjusted to the darkness.

"why didn't you answer me?"

"do you really not know the answer?"

"you're right." he sinks down in front of you, sitting down on the floor and brushing a stressed hand through his hair. his legs are stretched out and basically manspread even though he's not on a chair.

"satoru didn't text you to switch seats with him because he wanted to flirt with mika" he comes forth, both of his hands laying across his knees.

you're confused, "but–"

"it was a wild attempt of his to help me talk to you again." and he laughs, a burst of energy randomly gracing the intense air. suguru raises a hand to rub at the back of his neck while his chest and stomach ricochet and his teeth peek out from his mouth.

"truth is, I really like you." he's still smiling.

the declaration makes you stare blankly at him and a million goosebumps rise across your entire body.

"if you don't feel the same in that regard it's fine of course." he reassures, back to his normal calm self, "I just thought it would help explain my behavior."

"since when?" you peep

"our first class meeting," suguru seems a little bashful at the confession

"I have for a couple of weeks now too." you meekly profess

suguru seems genuinely surprised, his eyes widening, "you have?"

"why do you sound so surprised?" your brows knit.

"it felt like you didn't know I existed until last week." he grins followed by a small huff of humor

"oh...that," you trail off, embarrassed, "I thought pretending you didn't exist was the best way for you to not know I had a thing for you..."

"satoru is far smarter than me in that aspect." he says, "he insisted that you were doing that when I told him."

you giggle a little, "he read me like a book."

suguru hangs his head for a second and groans, still joyful, before he whips his head up and gazes at you, "I apologize for having never gathered the courage to approach you before. I have Satoru to thank for even getting me here with you in the first place."

"it's fine." you shrug, pulling at your own fingers, "we're here now aren't we?"

"we are." he agrees before leaning over. suguru grabs one of your hands and brings it to his lips, placing a soft kiss onto it while his eyes never leave your own.

"want to go back to the party?" you muster past your nerves, focus solely on the warmth of his hand still holding onto yours.

suguru shakes his head lightly, "I'm enjoying it being just the two of us right now. do you want to?"

"no, I like it here too."

theres a moment of silence, where both of you stare at the hands that the both of you have connected until a strong breeze passes and flutters the thin material of your babydoll up and makes you shiver strongly.

"let me." suguru says as he hastily gets up and gets his leather jacket that's hanging from his motorcycle, then brings it back to you, helping you tuck your arms into the sleeves and get comfortable in it.

he's above you when he does it and you can see the small glances he tries to avoid giving your body, especially at the sparkly pink thong peeking through the see through material of your costume. suguru is making sure his jacket is on your properly when you call out to him suddenly.

"suguru."

he doesn't get the chance to respond when he looks back up at you and you pull him in by the material of his shirt to kiss him.

he reciprocates within seconds, after the surprise wears off and places a hand on your thigh, the other next to your head and grabbing at the beanbag. his lips are soft and have no remnants of alcohol on them, a smooth flavor of his skin and flesh meeting your tastebuds when he dips his tongue into your mouth. it elicits a groan from him when you whimper at the contact.

he pushes as much as he can into your space without falling and you follow suit, trying to lift yourself as much as possible off the beanbag to meet him.

a particular whimper has suguru pulling away from you and pulling you up by the arm so he can maneuver you to sit on the trunk of the car next to you. when he plops you down onto it, he slots his torso between your thighs and pulls you for an even deeper kiss. his hands have a strong grip on your thighs as he keeps you against him and you can feel the distinctly large throbbing of something against your panties through his pants.

"are–mmmm–you hard?" you ask through kisses

suguru can't help the grind of his bulge against your core when he answers and keeps kissing you, giving small nips to your lips, "yes."

your eyes are closed into the kiss when your hands navigate to the waistband of his pants, about to reach for–

"not here." suguru mutters and keeps both of your wrists clamped under one of his large hands.

you pull yourself away from his lips and heave, a pout of sexual frustration illustrated on your eyes and lips. "okay."

he raises a hand to caress your cheek as he smiles fondly, "what?"

"nothing."you look away for a quick second, leaning in to kiss him again after.

suguru stops you before you do though, clamping one of his hands against your mouth while the other holds the back of your head.

he's smiling even wider this time, "now what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you touch me before I get to touch you?"

you slouch in his hold, too upset by the fact that you couldn't touch him or go back to kissing him to care about his words.

"you know, even satoru couldn't keep his eyes off of you in this little costume of yours." he looks down for a second so you could too, "god knows what toji was thinking. I saw the tent in his pants when you took my spit and booze like a good girl."

suguru sees the way you shift your hips for a smidge of relief at his words. "are you my good girl?" he leans his forehead across yours, hand still on your mouth. you try your best to let out a muffled 'mhm' and incessantly nod your head, eyes pleading and hands gripping onto his shirt.

"are you going to answer the phone when I text you next time?"

you give him the same answer again.

"god." he warily eyes you, gaze wandering towards the outline of your breasts and the rest that wasn't covered by your thong, "you're so beautiful."

the hand at the back of your neck trails down and moves some hair away from your shoulder, then ends up holding you by your lower back as suguru leans down and starts to mouth at your neck. he starts off small with his intentions, simply placing soft and subtle kisses, eliciting a ticklish response from you until his lips become searing and he goes in with the intent of leaving hickeys on you, it makes you squirm and suguru lets you, it's not like you can break away from his touch anyway. you use your legs to keep him caged in and closer to you eventually after the third 'pop' you heard coming from his mouth on your skin, it makes him audibly laugh for a second too.

you tug at the hand on your mouth, expecting for the task to be hard considering his build, but suguru lets his hand fall away easily and hold onto your thigh.

"what are you thinking pretty?" he asks mindlessly before going for the opposite side of your neck

"mmmm–about how good–mm–this feels."

"yeah?"

"mhm"

"tell me what you want to do. do you want me to drop you off at your place after this?" he blows on your most recent hickey and smirks when he sees you jump a little, "do you want me to get you food?"

"I want–ah!" suguru bites into your neck fairly hard, enough to make you moan and yelp at the same time, "I want to spend the rest of the night with you at my place. can we watch a scary movie?" the suggestion is simple and it isn't to hook up with him, although that's what you want more than ever now, but you don't want him to think you're that desperate so its what you settle for.

"couldn't imagine a better halloween than that." he smiles

you're under suguru, on your bed later that night, the movie you had been watching was long forgotten and the t.v. was turned off the second things started to get out of hand. it wasn't his fault no, suguru's a gentleman and when you said you just wanted to watch a movie, he was just going to watch the movie with you. you were the instigator. after you had been cuddled into his arms, near his neck, you decided to place a few loving kisses...that eventually turned into what this was with suguru getting up to take off and throw away his shirt while you hastily yanked off the long gloves of your costume.

he was needy, grinding his hips into yours the moment he came back down to kiss you.

"you have no idea how fucking bad I've been wanting you." he mutters, hissing when a particular rub pleases him the right way

it makes your back arch, "I think I do suguru."

"really?" he groans into your mouth, "you touch yourself to me like I do for you?"

"yeah." you sigh, clinging onto him even more, splaying your hand across the soft skin of his back.

"move your panties to the side."

when he feels your hand move down and follow his directions, suguru moves his down too and slides a finger across your soaked folds.

"fuck, this pussy is so wet for me. were you even trying to pay attention to the movie?"

"yes, I was." you complain, and whimper when he starts rubbing circles across your lower lips, gathering your slick for added stimulation after every rub.

he separates himself from kissing you to look down at his ministrations, mouth opening in a soundless moan at the sight.

"listen to this sloppy fucking pussy." he rubs faster and you start to jerk your hips up by natural defiance at the stimulation, but he holds you down "no, let me touch you baby." he says sternly

your breathing starts to pick up and you feel that familiar knot that only you can give yourself starting to build up in your stomach and suguru notices, looking up to smile at you.

"are you close angel?"

concentrated on the feeling, all you can do is nod your head and he speeds up his pace at it, garnering close to wanton moans from you and screech like whines.

"come on come on, cum for me pretty girl, cum cum cum cum–fuck, atta girl." suguru talks you through it, mouth opening in awe at the sight of your body going limp and your breathing slowing down, his cock even twitches at how cute it is that your legs kick a little when you cum too, he thinks he'll be able to keep them still when he gets make you cum on his cock.

you start to hiss at the overstimulation when he keeps rubbing your clit after your high, "'s too much suguru."

he doesn't stop, "you want to stop now then?"

the shake of your head makes his eyes light up and bite his lip with a grin, "then just let me keep going."

it takes all of your strength to lean up with one of your elbows and grab his wrist with the other, obvious strain written across your features when you huff, "I want you inside me."

like he knew that was what you wanted, suguru's grin grows wider, "are you sure?"

you nod your head in confirmation, followed by suguru saying, "so cute." before he gets up and pushes his pants and boxers down in one swift motion and climbs on top of you, manhandling your legs by pinning them to either side of your head into a mating press.

he lets his cock teasingly rub up and down your folds while he leans down to nip at your ears, "let's leave your little costume on yeah?"

you nod and make a face when his tip catches on your entrance

suguru lifts his hips at your confirmation and pushes his tip in, savoring the way you're beginning to invite him inside you.

" 's so big sugu." you whimper in shock at the larger than expected intrusion

"never taken a cock this big?" he pulls out and pushes in again a little deeper

"no." you rake your hands down his arms

suguru laughs, "good thing I'm here to provide then right? see, look at you creaming around me already."

the words make you look down at where you both meet and when he pulls out again, you can see the ring and slick on his dick, it makes you shiver.

"I'll–make–this–little-fucking–pussy-take–me." he punctuates each and every one of his words with a thrust that pushes himself deeper and deeper inside you until you can fully feel his tip grazing your cervix and every vein on his dick ridging against your walls from how girthy he is.

every sound that comes out of your mouth after is incoherent when suguru starts to punishingly pummel into you and god does he keep talking to you.

"you look so pretty taking this dick baby. god, you sound even cuter than I imagined. you like getting stretched out like this? fuck, take it take it take it. wish I could make you sit on it, you'd look so cute trying to ride me."

it's all so much, especially when every thrust is accompanied by a moan or groan of his or with a sentence.

"couldn't fucking wait to get home after the party last week too. wanted to rip off that costume and fuck you till you couldn't even scream. and when you wear those skirts with pantyhose to class?" suguru groans, "all–I–can–think–about–is–bending–you–over–and–stuffing–this–pussy–with–my–cum."

"suguru!" you squeal, "im–I'm gonna cum!"

suguru tightens his hold on your thighs at the admission and starts jackhammering into you, "cum around me baby. let me fuck you through it." it almost sounds like he's starting to beg, "just cum for me, cum for me, cum–"

a silent scream leaves your mouth and you trash in suguru's hold while he keeps his furious pace.

"so pretty, angel." his eyebrows knit as he watches you orgasm and feels you clamp down on him. it has his peak lurching across his body and his thrusts grow erratic as he starts spurting his cum into you.

he leans down to kiss you as his cock twitches inside of you, leaking his cum into you each time.

at the end of the kiss, the both of you are heaving against each other, smiles on both of your faces until you erupt into laughter and giggles.

suguru is still inside you and places a loving kiss on your forehead, swiping away your sweaty baby hair, "you're cute when you cum. you kick your legs a little, I like it."

the confession has you trying to shy away and suguru laughs again, caressing your head, "why are you shying away? you wore this costume for everyone to see just a couple hours ago."

"well this is you telling me you think the way I cum is cute, its quite different than guys looking at my thong." you shakily grab onto his shoulders

"I suppose so." suguru nuzzles into your neck, "do you have a bath?"

"yeah."

"let me start one for us then." he pulls out and both of you look down at your lonely entrance until his cum starts to leak out. suguru seems entranced and you can see his cheeks start to gain a red hue accompanied by the blood starting to rush to his cock too.

suguru looks back at you the moment you do too. you reach a hand out to him and he crawls back on top of you.

"we can do that later right?"

"right."

[reiderwriter]

Satisfaction Feels Like a Distant Memory

Chapter Three of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: Your mounting attraction to Spencer Reid pushes you to the edge, turning begrudging friendship to deep hatred when he finally shows up on your doorstep. He's the only thing that can out you out of your misery even as you sink further into it.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, hate sex, rough sex, argument as foreplay, oral (f recieving) and face fucking, fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, forced orgasms, "forced" submission, creampie, p in v penetrative sex, etc.

A/N: I've had about as much sleep as the reader in this fic has for the last week, but HERE IT IS! Chapter Three 🥰 You may need a bottle of water on standby, or at least a hand fan, because this one gets a bit heated....

Masterlist || Add yourself to the taglist!

You hesitated in front of your office door, which you supposed was going to become a bad habit of yours now. You tried lying to yourself, that nothing was different now, that you weren't attracted to him in a completely stupid way, but you still stood frozen in front of your own office door. 

Frozen and horny. 

Shit. 

You mentally went through a list of the worst things that could happen if you went in. 

1. He was there. 

2. He wasn't there. 

3. He was there, and he touched you again, and you moaned. 

4. He was there, and he didn't touch you again, but you still moaned. 

5. He was there, and you threw yourself at him immediately because why wouldn't you when you'd seen what you could be working with the night before? Fuck moaning once, moaning multiple times as he pushed you against the bookshelf would- 

“Are you gonna go in, or are you just going to fondle the door handle?” He asked from behind you. From too close behind you. 

You turned, keeping the doorknob in your grin, and immediately flattened yourself against the door as he took a step closer. 

So close. He was so fucking close and it was suddenly all you could think of. 

“W-What?”

“You know, the CDC warns that door handles should be washed every 20 to 40 hours To prevent bacteria like Escherchia coli and Staphylococcus aureus from-” You ignored his words, drowning everything else out as you tried to dampen the fire burning under your skin.

“Cock?” You said, all attempts obviously not working. 

“Staphylococcus, yes. It can cause Adenovirus, Rhinovirus, not to mention-” 

“Okay! Okay, Spencer. Taking my hand off the handle now.” 

Finally, you twisted it and walked backwards into your room, walking backwards a few steps before your foot caught on a stray pile of books. 

“What the-” you cried, waiting for the impact of your landing as you swung out your arms frantically for purchase, screwing your eyes shut as you found none. 

Instead, you found an arm snaked around your waist, another wrapping your hip tight as Spencer Reid cradled your body to his own. 

“Thanks,” you breathed out, not even hearing the words yourself for how much air was in them. How was it possible to expel air and hold your breath at the same time? Because that was how it felt being in his arms: at once a sigh and a stopping of all bodily functions barring want. 

“I thought this was your office, Y/N. Surely you should know the layout by now.”

Moment over. You pushed at his chest to stand upright, and he stepped backwards, removing his hands from your person. 

“Very funny. We both know these are your books. Setting traps for me now, Spencer?” 

You moved around the piles of books again as he flicked the light switch, moving the opposite way around your desks, before meeting you again next to yours. 

“You're usually more observant than this. Is there something wrong today?” 

“What, like Adenovirus or Rhinovirus?” 

“No, like something…” he searched for the right words, pace slowing as he tried not to scare you away by talking with you like this.

“Like something on your mind.” 

You snorted, leaning down to switch on your computer, and also to avoid his eye contact. Unfortunately, academic curiosity had gotten to you in the last few weeks, and you'd read some of his psychological papers. You knew exactly what it was the BAU was apparently so good at, and you didn't want him to know that you'd imagined him balls deep in you hours before. 

“Not friends, Spencer. If there's something I need to talk about, I'll talk to a friend,” you said, standing straight again and turning to him again. You still avoided eye contact, but it didn't matter. His eyes weren't on your face but angled further down, like he'd been checking out your ass as you bent over or something. 

No. No, you weren't going down that train of thought. 

“Or even better, my therapist.” You were planning on the words being a bit more playful, but your voice came out deeper than you expected it, more gravely somehow. 

Your bedroom voice, you were using your stupid fucking bedroom voice on Spencer Reid. 

You cut yourself off again before you said anything else. Before he touched you or didn't touch you, and you got to test your earlier theory about which would be the more demeaning reaction. 

“I have class in ten. Clean up before I get back,” you ordered, and you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when he replied. 

“I don't take direction well, Y/N.” 

No, you didn't think he would. Neither did you though.

For a week, you tiptoed around the man, your words sharp, but your body weak to him. 

By day, you were hurling insults back and forth, messing up his papers and screwing with him via bookshelf again. 

“YOUR…FLY…IS….OPEN.” 

“VERY….MATURE.”

“MADE…YOU…LOOK…THOUGH.”

“BUSY….LOOKING…AT…OTHER….THINGS.”

“LIKE…THE…UNDERGRADS…THROWING…THEMSELVES…AT…YOU…?”

“LIKE…THE…PROFESSOR…I'M APPARENTLY…DATING” 

“Very fucking funny, Spencer,” you sighed at the last message, throwing the books off the shelf and pilling them up on the floor. 

“Don't even for a second entertain the idea of making that gossip a reality.” 

He grinned at you from behind his desk. 

“Okay.”

“Don't even - don't even think about it,” you said, stepping over his desk and poking at his chest as his smile deepened.

“Heard.” 

“I'm serious, Spencer, don't-” 

“You've thought about it.” You froze in shock at his words, as if your blood wasn't sure whether to run cold or burn hot and fast. 

“What?” You spat the words at him, unable to stop them coming out any other way. 

“You've thought about entertaining the gossip. You've thought about it a lot.” 

You needed to deny him, but he was right. By day, you tried to torment him, but by night, he did torment you. A week of wet dreams, of imagining him taking you over every inch of your office, of sleepless rest and failed orgams, and you could not escape. 

“No,” you said with a whisper, shaking your head and trying again even as your voice cracked from the lie and your body's cry for pleasure, for this man. 

“No, I haven’t- I don't-” You took a deep breath, but you knew it was no good, as his hand grabbed yours and flattened it against his chest. 

“Your pupils are dilated, your pulse is heightened, and your legs are practically clamped shut. Your mouth is dry, and I'm not sure if you've noticed yet, Y/N, but you're shaking.” 

“All signs of anger, Spencer, as you're well aware.” 

He let go of your wrist and sat back in his seat, just out of reach of you again. 

“Shame,” he whispered under his breath, nearly low enough that you didn't catch it, as he flipped open his book and continued whatever the fuck it was he even did in this office. 

You ignored it, anger really flooding you now, warring the heat of arousal that was firmly settled in your body for dominance. 

The anger won out. 

You grabbed books from your desk, files, and papers from the side table by the couch and your laptop from your desk and left the room quickly. 

You slammed the door, and you didn't look back, knowing that if you did, you'd see his winning smirk staring right back at you.

You marched yourself right to the staff administration office and put in for a week of leave. Spencer had one more week of work at the university, and then he would go back to being a regular FBI agent. 

Your paths wouldn't cross because you wouldn't let them cross, not when it meant for certain that you would give in.

You spent the week working to distract yourself from work. You finished books for your next semester courses, highlighting the better articles and essays to use, going through each bibliography to find better sources if they weren't good enough. You wrote more of a research paper you didn't have time to think about with so much going on. You corresponded with students, with TAs, with the other professors who wanted to know where you were. 

Okay, that was a lie. You aired the professors, but you did look out for any inboxes from him. Surprisingly, there were none. 

You spent a week throwing yourself head first into your work, and still, each night, you felt his phantom touch on you. No matter how exhausted, your brain still co jured images of his hands grasping your wrists, pushing them above your head and forcing his cock into you, his lips biting against your skin, the fire of his kisses leaving scars where they trailed down. 

You were running on three hours of sleep per night, sure, but at least you were as far as you could possibly get from the man ruining your life. 

You poured yourself a glass of wine the next Sunday, knowing that when you went back to work the next day, he'd be gone.

You wrapped yourself in blankets and put everything else off for the day, ordering food and eating it and not moving as you worked your way through boxes of pizza. 

It was when you finished your first glass and went to pour yourself another that there was a furious pounding at your door. 

“Y/N, I know you're in there, open the door.” His hand sounded again, and you nearly dropped the glass at the sound of Apencer Reid's voice. 

Your body acted alone, immediately following his directions as you damn near tripped over your own feet to open the door for him. 

Throughout all of your arguments, all of the quips you'd thrown at him, every stupid little thing you'd done to get under his skin, you had not once seen Spencer Reid looking this angry. 

His brow was furrowed uncomfortably, as if it were frozen in place. Gone was his perpetual smirk. 

“Spencer, what the fuck a-” 

“Thoughtless. Careless. Do you even know what you've done?” He snapped at you, stepping into your apartment and closing the door behind himself as he immediately walked into your space and began touching things.

“Stop! Fucking stop it, Spencer!” You said grabbing his arm and pulling him around to face you. He brushed you off quickly and worked his way through papers you'd left on your coffee table. 

“No. You stormed out over a week ago, you blocked my number, you did not answer any of my emails-” 

“I didn't get any emails,” you spit back, pushing yourself between him and your things now, bodies so close they were touching. 

“Then you blocked my email, too. You don't even know what I'm looking for or the damage you could have done, do you?” His hands were on you then, not threateningly, as you'd expect, his anger still burning through him if his shaking voice had anything to say for it. 

His hands stroked up your sides and back down again, smoothing away your need to think. 

“My files. My team sent me a file. It was on the coffee table, and you took it with you when you left. The case is ongoing, and I'm flying out tomorrow, and without some of the classified information in that file, we will be at a disadvantage. Our odds of catching our unsub fall from 83% to 47% without all of the pertinent information.” 

Your breath hitched as he leaned in closer. 

“So yes, I'm going to go through your things, and if you're a good girl, you'll root through with me and help me find it.” 

He stepped away then, and you held your tongue. As much as you hated him, he was right. You knew what he did, you knew who he was and to trust him not to lie to you about his chances without this information. 

“The files on the coffee table are research notes, everything I took from the office is in that case over there,” you said pointing at a bag still where you'd dropped it by the door a week earlier. 

He walked to it and rooted through it quickly before finding the file he obviously needed and letting some of the tension out of his shoulders. 

“You're probably glad to see the back of me, right?” He said, laughing bitterly as he turned back around to you. 

“Obviously not as happy as you are,” you spat back, stepping back over to him. 

“If you ever speak to me that way again,” you started, spitting at him in the most threatening voice you could muster. “It won't be a fucking unsub that ruins your life.” 

“And how are you going to manage that, Y/N?” He said, stepping closer to you until he had you backed up against the wall, trapped in by his bigger frame, using it to his advantage to intimidate. 

“How will you manage to ruin my life,” he said, his voice softer as he finished his sentence, but not by much. “When you shake with just every time I get close?” 

“This is not lust,” you growled the words out, but try as you damn might, you were shaking, vibrating even. 

“Then what is it?” 

“Hatred, dislike, loathing, detestation, abhorrence, fuck Spencer, you can pick up a thesaurus yourself and find out.”

“Yeah. Okay. I'll believe your lies for a second.” He walked away, he was walking away but the fire was ringing in your ears and you needed him to stay fucking put so he could take it all. 

“You're a jackass.”

“Original.” 

“You slammed into my life, expecting me to bend to your will and be at the mercy of your needs, your wants. Your office space, your fucking case files, your job-” 

“None of that was my choice.” 

“And it wasn't mine either, but at least I fucking left you alone. I spent the week in this apartment and left you the fuck alone, and you couldn't even allow me the same.”

His focus was back on you again, but you refused to be backed against a wall this time. 

“What did you say?” 

“You will not let me know peace. I have lost my security, my patience, my fucking sanity with each word you have said, my peace of mind, my sleep, my fucking sanity, Spencer.” Your chest was heaving, touching his with each exhale as he too held his place in front of you. He was so close, you'd practically spat the words directly into his mouth. 

“How is that my fault?” He whispered, voice still dripping with disdain even as his hands again wrapped themselves in your hair, and he tugged your head back, baring your neck to him as he leaned down into you. 

“How do you know that you're not doing the same to me?” 

You refused to answer, though, meeting his eyes for one last second before you grabbed his hair in your hands and yanked him down to your mouth. 

It wasn't so much a kiss as a battle for dominance, each trying to torture a surrender from the other with clashing tongues and teeth. 

You made the first move, but he was obviously expecting it, and he didn't even pause before launching his own attack, finally pushing past your strong defence to walk you back to the sofa you'd abandoned earlier. 

His tongue still lashed against yours as you retreated, refusing to give up your upper hand even as you moaned into his touch. The couch hit the back of your knees, buckling, and you silently cursed your lack of sleep for leaving you so unstable right now. 

No, that wasn't true. It was him. He had left you so unstable, moving between happy and playful to angry and wrathful in the space of a week without you, and you'd been denying yourself the ability to even entertain any of this happening. Now that it was, your body was unprepared, totally at his mercy, as he pushed you to your back and pushed up your skirt. 

“You're already so fucking wet,” he groaned slipping two fingers inside you as you moaned around him, no longer capable of thought. This was the moment, this was when he was going to make you submit to him finally. 

Instead, he dropped to his knees and you gasped as his to guess found your sweet cunt and he began sucking to your clit. 

You were on fire, skin scorched from the inside out, spreading in waves from your pussy to the furthest regions of your body. 

With one hand, he spread your thighs further apart and pushed his entire face further into your cunt, tongue pushing inside right by his fingers, nose pushed right up against your clit as he didn't relent. Every movement was another curse falling from your mouth. 

“Shit, Spencer, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whimpered, hips rocking back and forth as you tried to fuck his face, begging for more. 

To your surprise, he didn't keep your hips still but let you keep riding his face, riding his fingers as you chased your first orgasm.  

It came quickly, overwhelming you with the impact, jolting through your body like a lightning bolt as he let your hips shake and crash across his tongue. 

When he finally pulled his face away, it was glistening, and he wasted no time shoving his tongue back in your mouth. His message was clear - he may have let you take whatever pleasure you'd wanted with him, but he was still the one in control. 

You trailed kisses along his cheeks, neck, shoulders as he divested himself of clothing, shirt, belt, pants, ripping at yours to free your body as well, until the two of you were only left with underwear and you'd picked up every last drop of your cum left on his skin.

“On your back, now,” he said, and you complied. You spread your legs, and rubbed at your still wet cunt, jolting as he finally lined himself up with your cunt. 

But he didn't push in yet. Instead he wrapped two arms under your knees and pulled you closer, so his cock rested over the top of your stomach, and leaned down, his face hovering inches over your own, holding himself up with a forearm rested just above your head. 

“You see that?” He said, glancing down. “That is how much I am going to fill you. That is how deep I am going to ease into you. That is how far I am going to go to claim you. You can take it like a good girl, right?” 

“Just shut up and put your cock inside me, Spencer.” 

“You're so fucking pushy for a submissive little slut,” he said, smiling finally. 

“I am not a-” you started to protest, but he slid inside of your hot cunt and you lost the ability to focus. 

“Not a what, Y/N? Speak up,” thrusting shallowly as your cunt grabbed him and held tight. 

“I'm not a- SPENCER!” You screamed his name as he pulled out quickly, thrusting into you again with a speed and strength that had you wrapping your arms and legs around him tightly, fighting for him to stay right there deep inside. 

“Not a sub? Y/N, you're whimpering and drooling right now. You're three seconds away from begging for my cock, why the fuck can you not be honest with yourself?” 

“Fuck…you,” you said between moans as he rutted into you like a beast. He wasn't man anymore, bit monster, and he was claiming you inch by disgustingly perfect inch. 

“Let go. Let me take care of you, let me control you. Come on, baby, you know how good it would feel,” he said, before ducking his head and wrapping his tongue around a nipple. 

You screamed his name again, but you still tried to resist. 

“Come on, Y/N. Show me. Cum on my cock.” 

For a brief moment, you'd thought you'd resisted the demand. But then your brain faded, and your nails cut into his back like daggers as your body followed his commands and you came on his cock for a second time that night. 

“Perfect. One more, you can do one more,” he said, kissing your lips and lifting himself back up so he was sitting on his knees as he again picked up the pace. 

You mumbled his name over and over again as he fucked out all of the frustration in your body. Every thing either of you had said or done melted away in the glow of pleasure, your body buzzing from the feeling of him taking ownership of you. 

“One more, Y/N. One more, you need to cum one more time.”

“I can't, I can't I can't I can't, Spencer I can't I really can't,” you said, voice growing pathetically whiny as the tears sprang to your eyes and you choked back a sob. 

“Yes you can, one more. Together, we can do it together,” he said, groaning as you clenched around him.” 

He claimed your mouth again, his hand wrapping around your throat as he cut off your air supply for a second, then two, then three, as your ears buzzed and you finally slipped over the edge again. 

But this time, as promised, you weren't the only one caught in the pain of pleasure. Spencer collapsed on top of you as his dick spurted inside you, holding you close as he unloaded everything he had into you. 

He sat there, warming his cock as he lazily kissed open mouth kisses into every inch of your shoulders, collar bone and chest. Everywhere he could reach without pulling out of you and leaving you there. 

After weeks of no sleep because of him, it was his soft lips that finally enticed you into the hands of the sandman, his weight a comfort as you closed your eyes. 

When you woke in your bed, clean and clothed, he was gone, and so was every sign that he'd ever been there in the first place. 

🔖 @stillhere197 @understandingsunrise @mindfullycriminal @aliteralsemicolon @r-3dlips @alexafromamazon15 @jasf444 @subunitless @thebloomingeagle @lackingoriginalthoughts @empressgraytea @nox-sprite @alondralolll @allspicestones @chiyozai @i_heart_mgg @2hiigh2cry @tiyuel @jiuseoks @readinglatenights @placidus @dreamsarebig @pisceslovrr @waywardgoddess66 @tampon_racecar @kbaby-024 @luvdella @feyresqueen @a1dyn @pleasantwitchgarden @kolasbombaf @lovehadlovelost @kissesforspence @moonchildooh @bubbleebubz @theoraekenslover @melagem02 @calypso-read @ari-aurelia

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[s0ulsniper]

albert aretz x gn!reader

warnings: just pure fluff

ask: "Heyooo!! I'm just gonna request an Albert imagine, basically, after hehe gets done recording a video (at like 3 in the morning...) gn! Reader is sleeping and he lays down on their chest and reader wakes up like 2 hours later and sees him and it's all cute and stuff (you can add whatever you want at the end) And I love your writing btw it makes my day ‼️"

synopsis: albert finishes editing, and as exhausted as he is, he falls asleep on top of you.

pairings: albert aretz (flamingo) x gn!reader

a/n: hey hey anon! thanks for such a description, it rlly made it so much easier. also, thanks so much for the kind words it means a lot to me and I hope you have a great weekend !! hope u like it. :)

the late night hadn't gotten to albert the way it had gotten to you, he knew once you sent him a text 4 hours before that you were out like a light in your usual sprawled out from that took across majority of the bed. he loved you for it, yet sometimes he wished he had room.

he was almost finished recording a new horror game that his fans had been beginning for him to play. he understood why while he made it. not only was it a long story game, but it's probably one of the scariest he has seen on the platform.

not enough to scare him though, right?

he clicked out of his Roblox tab and powered off his computer once he stopped the recording, yawning with his arms outstretched.

he had been waiting on this moment for the entire night, finally getting to fall asleep with you even if you didn't notice until the morning. he loved having you with him despite majority of his time going towards creating content and interacting with his fanbase and friends.

he loved how you understood.

his door creaks open once he shuts off the lights, feeling the hours of sitting in his lower back. he knew this nights sleep would last until mid afternoon, potentially more.

his office door closes with a low click. he could see the nightlights poking from under the door, he knew you loved the type of lighting from the lampposts. he had never seen someone fall asleep so quickly.

he opens the door to your bedroom after washing himself up, prepping for the night. his tired eyes fall into your form.

words couldn't describe how beautiful he thought you are, especially now with the blankets barley wrapped over you, and your hair messy from tossing and turning.

he feels his lips tug upwards as he walks quietly towards the bed, prompting himself to collapse as gently as he could on top of you.

the best pillow in the world, he wouldn't choose anything else.

his light smile remained on his face as he drifted off into his comforting sleep, his arm draped over your waist and his head gently tucked under yours.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

your body forces you awake at around 5:00 am, cold from the lack of blanket covering your body.

as you snap back into reality you feel the blanket at your feet, reaching down to grab for it. in the midst of it, you're stopped.

there was a heavy weight on your chest, which was weird considering your cat was sleeping peacefully on your side.

you look down as much as you can and feel Albert's hair poking at your neck, him sprawled out on top of you looking as comfortable and as adorable as ever.

you use whatever strength in you not to burst into laughter at the sight and instead settle on pulling the warm cover onto of you.

albert shifts, and you feel his arm around your waist tighten, a sigh of content leaving his body.

you run your fingers through his hair, who cares about not being able to feel your arm? worth it.

you fall back into your dream filled sleep of whatever you were as before.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

🏷️: @batluvr666 @yeehawbrothers @dogdevourer @ilovelyyoungie

[sharkrad08222222]

Misfits in Toyland Changeling the lost edition

I fuckin love @zal-cryptid 's Toylanders, so I decided to transfer a few into the works of Changeling: The lost, starting with someone who probably wants to be out of here. So HERE IS THE CHARATERS SHEET! ...ah shit forgot people dont know what changeling the lost is...Hold on let me get my thinking cap on, but first, a story of how I think Tammy got in and out of Arcaida.

Once(the Backstory, which I might not need to add and it probably wrong, but I aint wasting it.) Tammy Yokoi was not someone who you wanted to meet. Sure at first, they seemed ok, but give them anything important to do that she had no interest in and she would throw it aside, and probably make fun of you for thinking said task meant anything. This is what made Krampus catch his eye, where he followed her and saw how she was just The worst. Outing a Girl as intersex, outing the same girl as a Lesbian, which pretty much Destroyed her life, and being such a terrible babysitter, that she NEARLY caused one kid to die, and sad kid would have if Krampus didn't step in. Thinking of an apporeate punishment, he turned her into a tamagotchi and pulled her away into his little kingdom in Arcadia. As a tamagotchi, she was unable to feed or clean, herself, and died multiple times, only to come back and to starve all over again. This happened twice before being found, where she was thrust into many a Test to get her working, form being stuck in doom, Monkey Island, and various others, all in a way to improve her living situations. It wasn't all bad, she did meet a Woman named Mel, who got turned into a pull string Baby doll, who she grew rather fond of. but also met the girl she ruined the life of, Jen, who has an Axe to grind. Now.(Life as a changeling) She does not remember how she got out of her plastic prisons, all she remember is that Mel is in danger and she tried to stop it and she then found herself behind a pizzeria. She was quickly found by a summer patrol when she tried to get back to Arcaida, and now is a part of the local Summer court of (insert whatever big city of the state Tammy was form?) Here she is a Driven Elemental, working on getting connected with people to hopefully get back to Arcadia so she can give Krampus a piece of her mind. However, her time has changed her, form a bully to a more care taker role. She still packs quite the snark, but she does give a damn about the people around her. 

Mask and Mien Most changelings are changed form their encounter, literally as they their bodies and souls where forced into new shapes,a Mien. but exiting and the Desire to remain hidden form their form captors looking for escapees, has created their mask. Tammy’s mask is pretty similar to her origins forum, but for the supernatural looking for tells , her heartbeat is more like a Hospital monitor, her eyes show a pixelated reflection, her voice has  only the slightest hint of static.

Her Mien makes her looks like she’s been Rotoscoped into reality, with a body showing visible pixels. Not the most Terrifying but it’s unusual for sure. I would shit my self I say a person suddenly go form normal to Rotoscoped person holding rotoscoped shot gun. Seeming, Kith and Court. Seeming was you where in Arcadia Elementals were people made into forces of nature who got confined to a lined area, but eventually Freed, and now have a lot of power on their hands. As an Elemental of Code and Computer stuff, Tammy can cause computers to bleed pixels and for Monitors to shoot stuff out at people.  Kiths are the roles people got forced into. Being Eletrical in nature, and now with the ability to manipluate a code, Tammy is a Levinquick with the abilithy telaport between the air waves. Carries alot of burner phones for this. Courts are a mix of support Group and survialist club. NO ONE wants to go back, the summer court espselly, who if they keepers are going to try to take them back, they are going to fight tooth, nail, bone and Whatever else to get them to back off. Tammy Joined the summer court cuase to her they seem like the ones most likely to barg into or at least teach the skills on how to do so. For her Mantle with the courts, she is a bit sharper with her insults.

Clarity And keeping it together. Clarity represents how "stable" a changeling is, how connected they are to reality. Clarity is how aware a Changeling is to the world around them, and creatian actions or events can cause this track to take damage Tammy has a common on of not wanting to keep people against their will, cause you know the whole being trapped in a tamagotchi again her will sort of thing. Tammy also doesnt not like it when she witnesses someone experiences Neglect, cause she knows how that feels. Starvation is in the same boat as Neglect, not only for witnessing it but also for feeling it. Another things that cause her clarity attacks is being reminded of pass behaviors. She Realizes that she was bad, and does not want to repeat them, BUT rather than face them, she instead runs from them, buries them. if you think that she could fall back into old habits…you are not wrong.  Luckly though Touchstones, connections to realuty are mantianed and Clarity can be regained. Tammy's Touchstones are a group of kids she babysits for, a circle of kids if you will. was it the best idea to go baby sitting again, but it has given her Convection, with the small rings of kids she baby sits over months and week ends. plus cash for paying her half of the rent. Speaking of which what do all these dots mean? If one has played any TTRPGies, like a D&D, you probably know what skills and attaubies are, Willpower is willpower, burn it to be more likly to succed at a task Glamour is Emontial Fuel that both fuels abilities and existence. but merits is where things get intresting. Merits repersnet more specialzied skills, special training, innate Biological abilities, assets of all sorts, ETC, ETC. Changelings need Glamour to survive and can feel like shit if they dont get any so, but Tammy due to the deprecation she faced in Arcadia has developed a body that take some Glamour Fasting It will still catch up with her but not as fast, at least until she can find some, hedge fruit or People she can feed form.  Having been gone for so long, she has been somewhat forgotten, her parents given up their search, and most of her fellow classmates having moved on, she’s a ghost. Pure Anonymity.  No paper trail, no Criminal Record, none of that.

Her Drive and old skills form playing baseball has come back, make her a Relentless chaser.

She’s made some Allies outside of her summer court, a group of baby sitters, mostly being their to help with unruly kids or getting them to cover for her. They dont know her true nature, but that is liable to change, espelly with one going into clown collage.  Elemental Warrior...We will talk about that later.

A mixed blessing form Her time in Arcadia, but her body has somehow Become Hardy out how to go on even when the ravages of the world are after her. but WAIT THEIR'S MORE due to the laws and red tape of Reality, changelings can take up contracts with the funablemtal forces of the universe. On the list their is the classic for all elementls elemental weapon! Using the code around her she shapes it into a weapons to use against her foes. Usually a shotgun of some sort, but with enough concentration he can summon an old Navel Cannon. Need to scare someone off? Overpowering Dread, is the ability to do just that. Tammy could Summons the illusion of a big scary monster but she usually just makes them leave though supernatural potent Insults.

Do you want to put a curse on a target, but dont have time for a HEX? Retrograde is the choice for you. Tammy's manfest , causing  the targets phone to not work, computers to crash and for the GPS to break down.  Sometimes you need to hide, or make it look like your unattiable and Trapdoor Spider’s Trick is ,well, the trick. Tammy causes any doors to appear barracked with the power of an anti virus software. Sometimes you need to make some one really pissed off, so that is why Tammy uses Sunburnt Heart is infusing someone with the anger of the sun(The sun is well known for being incredibly petty, still hasnt forgiven her kids cause they killed here dad), so using the power of the summer sun, Tammy can infuse people with the rage, and then direct those people away form her.

owever if tammy wants to use her own rage, Elemental Fury is the go too. Causing all the srceens to bleed out pixels what replate environments, while also damaging all who are caught in. A favor of hers is sending a crap ton of rude messages to a bunch of people causing them to riot in an area.

and this STILL isnt everything, but DEAR GOD I have been here for too long, and I am going to go now...and stat out Krampus.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

I rambled this thought about The Monty and Foxy show and it's been a pretty long time coming and I know some of my mutuals share a similar opinion, so whatever. I'll throw it out there.

But I do NOT care for Vegeta-animatronic.

There's just a lot of characters that serve a similar purpose narratively.

Vegeta just looks so out of place with a majority of the cast it's just kind of hard to take him too seriously

Most other characters can be replace Vegeta in a scene and not much would be lost.... and MORE would be added.

Vegeta giving Eclipsev4 his pep talk on who he is as an animatronic, could have easily come from Jack instead trying to find his purpose and it wouldn't be out of place. Because Jack is also struggling with his purpose and as of now he is an errand-boy and more or less scrap from Solar and Moon's code. So Eclipse would connect more then that then a DBZ animatronic.

But here's what bothers me the most:

Vegeta is a Retcon.

(Like… Retcons aren't good or bad things. They are neutral things. There are such a thing as good "retcons" if the retcon benefits the story. Like, Dazzle from LAES is a good Retcon, because them being in the walls the entire time since Sun and Moon separated does not completely destroy backstories of other characters. And it works because no one knew of Dazzle's existence before then and nothing else needs to change much, unless they dip toes into the Creator, but the Creator is a mysterious evil character so his backstory and things he's been doing off-screen is very malleable.)

But let's think to Vegeta-animatronic's backstory. Monty made him as "practice" for building Lunar because he never built an animatronic body before and he wanted to make sure he get it right. But the thing is…. Monty put the nano-machine of Lunar that survived into a program in his space station and the body Lunar was made was mostly auto-constructed by the computer, because Eclipse was preventing Monty from going into space.

Monty was also grieving about what happened to Lunar and the threat of Eclipse hanging overhead. He was upset he couldn't oversee the process and wasn't sure if Lunar would come back. He even bashed Foxy's head in and gave him amnesia cus he was drinking himself to death over all of this…………….

So Where in the hell would he have to make Vegeta????

"I was into dragonball memes then…"

Oh… when you were just… lying low and doing the best you could for the "kid" you cared for so much at the time. Monty didn't even physically build Lunar's body, Monty's computer did. Monty just picked him up later.

Vegeta also doesn't add anything other then to call Monty his Dad/Mom, make Earth uncomfortable by calling her mom, forcing family dynamics that he doesn't understand, and just annoy Monty, and monty doesn't deactivate him cus…. he's attached.

Also, can I mention how much I hate that Earth has voiced how repeatedly uncomfortable she is with him calling her "Mom" and he still does it??? I get that Vegeta is lonely and wants to belong, but he keeps violating people's boundaries with titles. Like today. Solar is not his grandpa. Lunar is not his brother. Monty isn't even Lunar's dad, only like... step-father if you want to put it that way. This family tumbleweed does make a logical throughline of sense but forcing titles onto people until they eventually agree with you is not the way to do it. Monty had to agree to the dad/mom title more not as acceptance, but just because "he wouldn't stop, so why bother to correct that behavior." Vegeta just forces family titles on everyone until they reluctantly agree to them, and that is like "found family done wrong" and it just never sits right with me whenever he does it.

Also, if Monty DID make Lunar's body… how did making Dragonball Z Vegeta's body prepare him for that at all? Wouldn't you think he'd practice by making a celestial animatronic looking thing without a conscious AI in it, if he's just extracting Lunar's code from the nanomachine he possessed.

There was no reason to make Vegeta sentient. Okay, argue that Monty was piss drunk when he made him… It's still a damn stupid excuse and Vegeta serves very little narrative purpose and looks out of place with the other cast.

Anyway... it's fine if you like Vegeta-Animatronic, find his antics charming, or think he's a sweetheart.

However, I just feel his role is better narratively served by other characters, and every time he's given focus over someone else who would use the spotlight more, I die a little inside.

However, at the end of the day, it's Davis and Matt's show.

And I do think they need more characters that they're just not adopting/stealing from Tsams/laes. So.... yeah... That's the only narrative purpose Vegeta really serves to me.

[ccstiles]

More AU lore, who cheered?

We already know a bit about Casper's childhood thanks to Charlie, but I wanted to add a bit more spice to it, as well as what happened after Casper moved!

(quick note: I've seen people color-code names so I'm gonna try and do that, though I don't know if specific characters have specific shades, so bear with me here! :])

First off, Cas' parents weren't the best. They were very absent, preferring to spend their time and money on alcohol and drugs instead of on their child. This is why Cas spends so much time with Charlie, he was the only thing they had.

Then, Casper's dad lost his job, and they had to move back in with Casper's grandparents who lived hours away. That last week with Charlie was horrible, knowing that they had to leave the person that they held closest to their heart, the person who they loved, all because their stupid dad couldn't hold a job.

They didn't stay at their grandparents long. Or rather, Cas didn't stay there long. They got a job in the new town, and saved money till they had enough to get an apartment. It was old and broken down, but it was better than the crampt, smoke-filled house they were forced to move to.

Life was hard for a while, Cas had to get a second job in a shady area. It was scary, but to Cas it was worth it. Everything came to a head, thought, when they were jumped one night.

They were just heading home from their second job, when a group of thugs jumped them for their wallet. It was the scariest moment of Casper's life up till then, they didn't know if they would stop at their wallet, if they would hurt them.

Then, they heard some shouting from the distance, and before they knew it, the thugs that had jumped them were gone.

And in their place stood someone else. A well dressed man who helped them up from the ground and made sure they had their wallet and everything. This was strange to Casper, as no one has shown them real kindness in a long time.

The new stranger offered for him to walk Casper home, and Cas agreed.

While they walked, Casper got to know the stranger a bit. His job was to gather intel for his boss (thought he never said who) and that he was walking back from another mission when he saw Casper in distress. The stranger felt bad for them, so he decided to help.

It was nice talking to the new stranger. When they got to his apartment, the new friend surprised them once more.

"Is this your place?" He said, surprised by how run-down the building was.

"Yeah," Casper sighed, "it's not great, but it's the best I can afford"

"Best you can afford? Do you not have a good job?" The man turned to look at Cas.

"No, I work at the convenience store down the street and the food counter in the bowling alley down town" Casper looked down at the ground as they kicked a rock "they don't pay much, but it's all I can get for now."

"Really?" The stranger looked in shock before they began to think a bit. "What are you good at?"

"Huh?" Cas looked back up.

"What are you good at? Can you fight? Are you really smart with numbers? Can you talk to people well?" He listed a few things out.

"Well, I was really interested in computers when I was in High School. I hacked the school Chromebooks so I could do whatever I wanted on them" Casper smiled at the memory, it was one of their greatest achievements in school.

"Well then," Casper's new friend smiled "how would you like a job as a hacker and intel agent? You seem like you'll do perfectly"

"Wait, really?" Casper stood in shock, had this stranger really offered him a job? As a hacker no less?

"Yeah, it pays really well. Thought, there are a few details that might make you rethink it-" the man began but was cut off by Casper.

"Yes! Yes! Oh my gosh yes!" Casper jumped, smiling wide "I know you're probably in some shady business, but I don't care if I have to hack some rich guys computer or whatever, I'll do it!"

The man just smiled at Casper and laughed. "Well then, I'll come get you tomorrow to meet the boss then."

Casper just smiled as they watched their new friend walk away. "oh, by the way" Casper called out, "what's your name?"

The man turned and smiled once more. "Rook" is all he said "can't wait to start working with you, Casper"

[surplus-of-sarcasm]

Someone Close By

TW: references to a difficult past, blood and burning mentions (nothing happens they're used in conversation, it's mostly just fluff)

Note: Villain is referred to as 'Tiger' once. Also, I am incredibly tight on time, n I just found this in my drafts, I will get to the asks, I just have 16 million hw assignments to do 😣

One of the most annoying things about Villain was his stupid habit of throwing out a cryptic "You'll see," when anyone asked why he was doing something. He responded casually and automatically, with a languid gaze. And it was infuriating.

So when Hero had asked another question, she was quick to add a "Don't say it. Don't you dare say it."

"You'll see," he replied, tone lazy and offhand, maybe even a little self-satisfied.

She slammed one of her fists on his desk. "Why can't you just answer the question like a normal person?"

"Show, do not tell." He shrugged at her nonchalantly.

"You- you suck at writing," she accused, wagging a finger at him. Anything to gnaw at his ridiculously inflated ego.

"Hmm, tragic." The sarcasm lined his tone, like a thin, sheer veil draped over an otherwise emotionless attitude. The more striking irony was the fact that he complained about being assigned essays for school and his piss-poor writing skills on the daily. Bringing it up wouldn't affect him, she learned. Not after that reaction.

"You're incredibly dense, you know," she breathed out, frustrated, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Mhm. And yet here you are, wasting your time conversing with someone as incredibly dense as me." He spoke with a hint of amusement, more self-satisfied than anything, his eyes still fixed on his computer screen.

"Sometimes," she attested through gritted teeth, "you have to force yourself to endure what you don't really enjoy in the slightest, for a greater benefit."

"Ah," he concluded, some sort of finality to his tone, "so you admit that you have to put up with however I behave." The corner of his lip twitched up only slightly, the ghost of a smile gracing his lips. Unlike how she'd anticipated, it hadn't seemed so ill-fitting on a normally emotionless visage.

"I could still break your nose," she threatened, letting her shadow fall over his seated form.

He only raised an eyebrow in response, the dirt-eating smirk still visible on his lips.

"You know, you seriously need to relax." He continued typing with his left hand, and he let the cool fingers of his right hand stroke up and down her arm, almost soothingly.

At that, she froze. "Y-you don't like. .  .you don't like touching people."

"True that," he admitted. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No," she replied, before she could stop herself, and her face burned with an emotion she couldn't discern.

"Ah well, I remember you saying a touch could be calming?" At this point, he just sounded uncertain, a little confused if you will, every trace of the smug know-it-all from before vanishing.

"Yes, but I thought you were doing this to mess with me? Annoy me?"

This time, he finally met her gaze, lowering his hand to the desk again. "No. I think I've done enough of that."

She would rather be burned alive than to admit her arm felt cold where his hand had just touched. "That you have," she replied, rolling her eyes and earning a snort from him.

"It was reflexive. But I wasn't joking. You really do need to relax."

He was right, and she hated it. But she'd always been so tense; she couldn't even tell what being normal felt like to her. She didn't know it was so obvious that he could read it off her like a magazine.

"Do you want to watch a movie? I could use a break."

"You and a break? Don't you have a bad relationship with those? You never get tired," she mocked, smirking.

He turned around in his chair, "Not tired, just bored. Not doing something that important anyway."

Liar. He was both bored and tired, if the dark circles under his eyes and the way he seemed to slump, trying to let the tight line of his shoulders fade. He slowly ran a hand through his hair, a common tell for when he was exhausted. Except he hadn't known she could tell.

So, they found themselves sprawled out on the living room couch, the lights dimmed and a bowl of salted caramel popcorn resting on Tiger's lap.

He may have pretended to be a health nut, but deep down, he was a major sweet tooth. The movie playing on the flatscreen TV was terribly violent, gunshots and a ridiculous amount of blood featured in every scene or the other. It was definitely NOT the kind of movie one would relax to. Yet here they were, Villain was leaning back, one leg crossed over the other, and Hero had unclenched her jaw, her shoulders more slack now.

To the film's credit, there were a few light-hearted moments, mostly dark humour, enough to draw a laugh even out of him.

"He's not going to kill him," she said, completely certain.

"There would be no point of all this then. He's definitely going to kill him," he countered through a mouthful of popcorn.

And sure enough, he did not kill him.

"No way!" he protested.

"I've seen enough movies to read between the lines, kitty cat." She let a smug grin dance across her face.

The nerve of her. "Alright, Steven Spielberg, I get it," he huffed out.

The movie wasn't over yet. This was only half of it. Again, she found the fingers of his right hand running up and down her arm, his left currently sticky with caramel and tiny bits of popcorn alike.

The touch was relaxing, even with his calloused fingertips. Maybe even more so. "Do you want me to change the movie?" he asked softly, reaching for the remote.

He must've taken notice of how the line of her shoulders went taut only slightly. A scene in the movie where an older sibling took the pain to save the younger ones. The way it was acted out hit a little too close to home. "No. I'm fine really, and besides there's not much time left, and I wanna know what happens."

"Anytime you want me to change, just say it." And he continued caressing the skin of her arm absentmindedly. If she focused on that, then whatever the movie dished out wouldn't matter.

There was much worse she'd lived through, much more provocative to her triggers. At least right now, she had the comfort of someone close by.

✨️Le Taglist: @larinzz @syberianjade @lateuplight @altu-interactions @enbious-prince @astr0-mj @thelazywitchphotographer @addictedsandwhichaki @justalittlecorrupted @quaggasus @theangstyclown @vernilliom @mothmancommitsarson @starssabove @kurai-hono-blog @talkingsperm @catsarecool00 @muffinrebel44

Wanna be on the taglist? This'll take you there!

[pickledpascal]

New Perspective

Chapter Ten: The Calm Before the Storm

Warnings: a bit of family angst and fears of transphobia

Word Count: 3.3k

New Perspective Masterlist

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Avery sat cross-legged in the middle of Jensen's bed, a notebook in her lap and her laptop in front of her. It became a habit after a little while of Jensen living close by. She scribbled something down as she glanced up at her computer screen.

"What class is that for anyway?" Jensen asked as he sat next to Avery. He took in her laptop and her notes but still didn't understand what it was for. 

Avery chuckled at Jensen. "I'm doing notes for what my professor wants for my last project. He finally posted what he wanted us to do." She explained as she jotted down some more notes.”

"What does he want you to do?" As much as Jensen was far removed from college since he hadn't been in college for over twenty years, he still liked to hear what Avery was doing. How she liked her classes, what was her favorite professor, what kind of projects she had to do, and if she liked them. It was nice to hear her rant about whatever. 

Avery glanced down at her notes and shrugged. "He wants us to write a two hundred to three-hundred-page story. Doesn't matter what it's about, just nothing non-fiction." Jensen's eyes widened. That sounded horrifying. More horrifying than half the shit he had to face on a certain TV show. "I'll probably do two hundred because he wants us to change the format to A5 anyway." Avery didn't seem too upset. She'd written two hundred pages in the span of a week once. And that wasn't even for school. 

Jensen was surprised. He knew Avery wanted to be an author but her teacher was basically asking her to write a book as an assignment. "What is it gonna be about?" He asked. 

"I got a few ideas. Both pretty gay." Avery winked. "One's basically like Romeo and Juliet but they're lesbians and set on another planet where one of them is royalty. 

Jensen commented, "Love a good sci-fi lesbian story." 

"The other is about a trans woman navigating her life. May or may not be based on my own experiences but I'll be taking a few creative liberties." Avery hummed, making a quick note. 

Jensen thought about which one he'd want to read. He liked both ideas but the latter seemed more personal. He knew bits and pieces of Avery's life before college but never the full puzzle. It was hard to talk about, Jensen knew that. But he wanted to know every part of Avery's life. She'd tell him on her own time. And he knew that too. 

"Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?" He asked softly and they hadn't really talked about it since he moved. Her break for the holiday started in a few days. 

Avery was absentmindedly writing a few things she wanted to add to her final paper. "Nah. Roomies will be gone, my friends will be too, and my brother's gonna spend the day with my parents." 

Yet another small detail. Jensen's eyebrows furrowed. Her brother was still in contact with their parents? Even after they seemingly disowned Avery. He wondered if Avery felt betrayed. Apparently not. 

"Do you want to come to Texas with me? I usually do Thanksgiving but…" Danneel planned it. "So my parents are taking over again." Jensen didn't want to force Avery to come, he knew she'd be fine on her own but his parents specifically extended the offer to her. He was weary of them. They knew she was his girlfriend but what else did they know about her? What else had they found out?

The faint noise of pencil scribbling on paper stopped. Avery looked up at Jensen and studied his face for a moment. She was hesitant. Texas was fun when she didn't know anyone and went to tourist locations. She had no desire to have a conversation with someone who wouldn't like her if they found out she was transgender. 

But Jensen's family was important to him. Avery heard the slow, easy Texas accent come out every time his mom called and saw the faint smile. She wondered if his mom knew about her. If she would consider Avery "unnatural." Even worse, she wondered what his father would think. She didn't want to deal with another father figure who thought she was somehow mentally ill for knowing she was a woman trapped in the wrong body. Would Jensen defend her as he said he would? Doubts plagued her mind. 

Why the hell not? There wasn't any reason not to find out. At least, then, she'd know for sure. "I'll go." Avery said after a while. 

Jensen's eyes lit up with surprise. "Really?" 

"Yes, really. Now go away! I'm trying to focus." Avery pushed Jensen away. She unintentionally pushed him right off the bed so he fell with a thump. Her hand flew to her mouth. "Sorry!"

Jensen laughed. The wind was thrown out of him but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Avery was adorable when she thought she might have hurt Jensen. "You ever think my neighbors below us wonder what the hell we're doing?" He asked as he sat up with the help of his elbows.

"Fucking." Was Avery's immediate answer. She lived in a first-floor apartment for a year and, half the time, that was what the people above her were doing. 

Jensen picked himself off the floor and stood to ruffle Avery's hair. "I was gonna say rearranging furniture but that works too." 

"Rearranging furniture is code for fucking." Avery pointed out.

Jensen shrugged with a small laugh. 

—---

Being in Texas again was weird as hell. Avery didn't have her friends with her. No one to rant to about how nervous she felt. Jensen was there. But she didn't want to bother him. He likely had other things on his mind. Avery was glad Jensen opted to just stay at his house instead of his parents. At least that would be familiar. 

As they settled into his room, Avery stretched onto the large bed in the middle. "No wonder you didn't want to sell this house." She hummed. To an outsider, she might have looked calm. 

Not to Jensen.

He sat next to Avery and brushed a few hairs away from her face. It was an excuse just to touch her. "We could always cancel tonight." Jensen whispered.

His parents wanted to meet Avery before Thanksgiving and before the rest of his extended family. His brother and sister would be there too. Thanksgiving was tomorrow. Jensen was dreading it as well. But not for the same reasons. He didn't want anyone to make Avery uncomfortable. And he wasn't sure if he would be able to stop that feeling. She deserved to be loved by everyone. Not just him. 

"No." Avery sighed. As much as the idea was appealing, she wanted to be prepared for tomorrow. She thought of this dinner as her putting her toes in the water, feeling for the temperature to make sure she could jump in. "I'll go. I just need to shower." She sat up. That always cleared her head. Unless it was one of those times she just felt numb and tired. 

Jensen smiled softly. "I could join you." He suggested. He didn't have any ulterior motives. Maybe he would have come up with some if she said yes.

"I'm good." Avery laughed half-heartedly as she grabbed some clothes from her suitcase. She decided on a button-up sweater combo with jeans. Nothing too fancy but respectable. 

She wanted Jensen's parents to like her so badly. She didn't know why. Perhaps it was because she was missing what a lot of other people had. A real family. Avery had carved her own little family but it wasn't the same. She didn't have people to go back to when Winter Break came along. She would just text her friends, see what they were doing, and plan a small Christmas party after the break was over. Hell, even Jay had a family to go to down in Georgia. 

Occasionally, Avery would get a Christmas card from her brother and a small gift but it wasn't anything meaningful. However, she did save every card he sent. Perhaps they were meaningful but not enough. Not what she wanted. 

Sometimes Avery wondered what life would have been like if she never came out. Her parents would still love her. Their perfect, third boy. But she'd immediately shut those thoughts down. She would've never found the friends she had. She never would've met Jensen. 

Avery caught a glimpse of Jensen as she closed the door to the bathroom. Maybe they would have met but it never would have been like this. She never would have stood in the middle of his king bathroom getting undressed and ready to take a shower. 

elena: if avery rants to me about your family, just know i know where you live

Jensen: Love you too elena

Jensen let out a breath. Elena may have acted like the child of the group but she was very protective as well. If Avery was hurt, best believe Elena would want to have a "word" with whoever did it. Jensen wasn't scared of that. Well, maybe a little bit. He wouldn't want to hurt Avery if he could help it. He just hoped his family would understand he was happy and leave it there. 

When Avery came out of the bathroom, her hair was still damp but she was dressed and had her makeup done—just some winged eyeliner and blush. She tousled her hair to dry it best she could. She preferred air-drying her hair instead of using a hair dryer.

"You don't need to try so hard." Jensen chuckled softly. He had a feeling Avery intentionally grabbed some of the more modest clothes in her closet.

Avery crossed her arms and pouted. "Would you rather I went to your parent’s house in a short skirt and bralette?" 

"You got me there." Jensen held his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "But I wouldn't mind seeing that." 

Avery shook her head, a smile unintentionally making its way to her lips. "Of course you wouldn't." 

Jensen smiled as he stood and pressed a kiss to Avery's temple. "That's my girl." He tilted her chin so she faced him. "I haven't seen you smile in a hot minute." She was nervous and Jensen knew why but he wanted to be her shoulder to cry on. And vice versa. 

"If something happens…" Avery swallowed thickly, face serious. "We can leave?" 

Jensen's eyes saddened as he pulled Avery into his arms. "Of course, sweetheart." The words came out on instinct. Avery was his whole world. The metaphorical light at the end of his dark tunnel. He held her close, clutching onto her as if she would slip from his arms.

Avery set her chin on his shoulder and sighed, eyes tired. "You give good hugs." She mumbled softly. She simultaneously wanted to fall asleep in Jensen's arms and felt energized. Like she could run a marathon. 

They stood there for a few moments, Jensen rubbing at her back before they pulled away. Avery took a deep breath and held it in for a few seconds before she let it go as Jensen put his jacket on. Her heart calmed. But her brain did not. 

The drive to the Ackles' house was surreal. Every single home in their subdivision had the American and Texas flags flying in the front. Avery's stomach churned with each one. She leaned her head against the window to feel the coolness of it and she might have wanted to get a small concussion with each bump and pothole in the road as her head thumped against it. 

As Jensen parked in the driveway, Avery pursed her lips. The house itself was very normal. Two stories with a double car garage and a sidewalk off to the side that led to the door. Like the others. She wasn't sure if she should feel safe or uneasy. Her brain went with uneasy. 

The pair got out of the car with Jensen setting a hand on the small of her back as they walked to the front door. Avery wondered what she should say. Hey,  I've had a crush on your son since I was fifteen. Isn't that crazy? The thought almost made her laugh. 

Jensen pressed on the doorbell to be immediately greeted by his mother right after. "Jensen!" She smiled with delight and gave him a tight hug. 

"Hi, momma." Jensen's Texan accent slipped out as soon as he opened his mouth. Avery simply enjoyed watching the interaction.

Her eyes shifted to Avery, less warm but still happy. "You must be Avery." 

"It's nice to meet you, Ms. Ackles." Avery offered a hand only to be pulled into a hug as well. 

Jensen's mom squeezed her tightly. No wonder Jensen's hugs were so soothing. He got it from his mom. "No need to call me that. Call me Donna." She said after she let Avery go. The hug left her winded. "Your dad, Josh, and Mackenzie are waiting for you." Donna waved the couple inside. 

As Donna turned inside, Avery glanced at Jensen who just smiled at her. Avery expected coldness. Not this. It was jarring. She stepped inside the house and was hit with Thanksgiving smells. Pumpkin pie, ham, and sweet potato were what Avery could discern. It had been so long since she had a proper family gathering that she forgot what it felt like… besides all the politics talk and picking apart the meal when the host was gone. 

"Jensen's here! Finally. I got here hours ago and momma didn't let me have even one bite." A woman Avery recognized as Jensen's sister, Mackenzie, complained. But it was a fond complaint. She stood from the island in the kitchen and gave Jensen a hug.

He chuckled softly. "Always nice to see you again." 

Mackenzie glanced from Jensen to look at Avery and gave her a smile. "You must be the girl my brother can't stop talking about. Nice to finally meet you. I'm Mackenzie." 

Avery couldn't form words in her mouth. She hadn't expected Jensen's family to be so… nice. They had to know. Maybe they just didn't care. That would be nice. 

"Did you break her on the plane ride here?" Mackenzie joked, nudging Jensen's shoulder. 

Jensen had to refrain from making a joke. His family didn't need to know about their sex life. "Nah. She's just nervous." He rubbed Avery's back. 

"Sorry. I get anxious when I meet new people." Avery admitted after her brain started to work again. 

"No problem, sweetie." Mackenzie smiled in understanding. 

Avery glanced at the other two people in the room. Jensen's brother and father. She forgot that not only would she be the most queer person in the room, but that she'd be the youngest. They looked as if they were sizing her up. So this was where she'd feel an immense amount of dread. 

Sometimes Avery wondered if she became a woman just because she hated men so much. It wasn't the main reason. But perhaps it was part of it. 

Donna started setting ceramic trays on the dining room table. "C'mon. Sit! Let's eat." She encouraged with a wide smile. "Would you like anything to drink?" She asked as Avery and Jensen sat. 

"Um, I'd like—"

"You know where it is, Jensen. I was asking Avery." Donna wiped her hands on her apron. 

Avery's eyebrows raised. "Oh, uh, do you have any apple cider? If not, water's fine." She felt dumb after asking. Apple cider was a child's drink. Why would an older couple have some? But it was her favorite drink when fall came along. 

"Oh, yes! Alan, can you get it? I think it's in the fridge in the garage." Donna set her apron on a hook hanging from a cabinet before she sat down. Alan simply stood and left to procure the cider without a word.

Jensen could sense Avery's surprise and leaned to her ear to whisper, "One of my mom's friends has an orchard so they get cider every year." 

"Oh, cool." Avery hummed. Sometimes she was bad at showing her enthusiasm and she forgot that people who didn't know her deeply didn't know that. It was just something that would happen. 

As the table started to grab servings of ham and mashed potatoes—the menu for that night since Donna had saved everything else for the next evening—more conversation started. 

"So, Avery," Jensen's father started. "What's your plan after college?" 

Avery had a feeling he thought she'd leech off of Jensen. She played with her potatoes a bit. They were delicious—nicely seasoned—but she was missing her handy garlic salt. She wanted to taste something familiar. "I want to get my doctorate. At my university, they have this program where I can teach as I get it so I'll probably do that. After that, I wanna write. Be an author." 

"For Avery's final project for a class this semester, she's basically gonna write a book." Jensen added. He was proud of Avery and he wanted to show it. He could never have even thought his next partner would be nearly as wonderful as Avery. Her ideas, her weird sayings, how she was still able to love even after all the things she went through. 

Josh decided to speak then, interest piqued. "A book? What's it about?" 

Avery didn't feel hungry anymore. They hadn't brought up the elephant in the room yet and Josh had done it accidentally. "I have two ideas. Haven't started writing it yet." She tried to deflect. 

"Which one are leaning more towards?" Josh pushed. Not hard. It was an innocent question. But it felt suffocating.

Open the can of worms. "Uh, one's a lesbian love story and the other is based on me. As a trans woman." Avery knew she could've lied. Come up with two perfectly "normal" topics on the fly. But she didn't like lying. She wanted to know what Jensen's family was like. No more dancing around.

Josh sat back in his chair, deflated. "Oh." Was his very eloquent answer. 

Tension rose from zero to a hundred. The table was silent for a while. 

"Does anyone here have a problem with that?" Jensen outright asked, his gaze hardened. He wouldn't take any shit if they did and he'd make their own Thanksgiving dinner at his house if he had to. 

Alan knew the look in Jensen's eyes. It was similar to the one he wore when he played Dean and he had to put on a brave face to save someone important to him. "Are you happy?" Was his response. 

"You have no idea." Jensen's eyes softened.

"Are you happy?" This time, the question was aimed at Avery.

She was shocked Alan would ask her. She tried not to let it show. "Very." 

"Then I don't have a problem with it." Alan said with a knowing smile. Josh and Mackenzie agreed.

Donna chimed in with a soft smile. "Jensen, we don't care who you love as long as they love you too. And, Avery…" She frowned for a moment. "I'm sorry if you felt like you couldn't talk about yourself. I understand we are in Texas and it's not the safest for you here." 

"Look, if Jensen's busy tomorrow doing whatever and one of our aunties or something is getting on your case, come to me. I'll fend 'em off for you." Mackenzie said, a fire in her eyes. 

Avery almost broke down. Her eyes welled with tears but she was able to keep them down. She was accepted into the family and that felt good. 

avery: i think I'll be good tomorrow

elena: why? no transphobia found?

avery: no

avery: well, at least not in his parents or siblings

elena: okay minute slay 

elena: however i will drop everything if i sense an OUNCE of transphobia in that house tomorrow

avery: i look forward to it <3

------

taglist: @nancymcl

taglist open here !!!

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day off. I thought I might be getting a head cold but I feel a lot better right now. I still had a really nice day though.

I slept alright last night. Fell asleep easier. I woke up this morning and was not thrilled to find that the world was super loud. They were doing work in the road outside. I'm more annoyed that they didn't put signs up because everyone's cars were trapped? It was really stupid. But also just super super loud.

Sweetp was naked! His collar had come off and he was being super affectionate and silly. I think he needed comfort from the sound of the construction but also his neck was naked and he didn't know what was happening. He let me hold him for a while and scratch his neck real good. Being such a good boy.

Me and James wanted to get out of here though. I wasn't happy to leave Sweetp in the noise but we had to get out of there.

James changed so we could match. And then we were off. I had go talk to the flagger force guy to move the cones that were blocking out block so that James could get the car through. Which they did very well! Only one back up. Amazing.

We drove out to Ikea first. I wasn't feeling amazing but it was quiet there. Not to many people. Mostly workers doing stocking. I enjoyed laughing with James and talking about stuff I liked. Storage couches and chairs. I really was having fun even though I felt a bit like I was underwater. My ears felt all closed and my head felt weird. I was still happy to be there even if I felt weird.

We did get some good stuff. Some silicone storage bags. Dry food containers (one got smashed before we got home which is a bummer but it's alright!). Some tins. Some dried lavender. It was nice to walk around and find stuff. We had fun talks and laughs. James kept high kicking. Just being really silly. And we went to the as is section and found some neat stuff. I did not get the table I liked even if it was $100 off. Id it was $100 total I might have. But ah well. Another time.

After we checked out we went to the cafe. Where they had pizza?? I didn't know Ikea did pizza. It was fun to try, better then 711 but it did come to us cold. James got a hot dog and I got a frozen yogurt cone. We also got a soda but the first one was flat and I got so sad but James fixed it and things improved. I think eating helped me a lot because a lot of the bad feelings would lessen for a few hours after that.

While we were eating we discovered that the restore wasn't open on Monday. Disappointing. So instead we went to goodwill.

We drove there and it wasn't my favorite goodwill but I still had fun looking. We found plates that were just for pizza. We did not buy them. We did buy a beautiful rug that I think is 70s and was used as a wall hanging. It's orange and has seagulls on it. I love it.

We also had someone following us around. She was like alt goth, young, and kept being like. Right there. I think she wanted to be our friend. She seemed sweet, if awkward. I feel that I also felt awkward. I tried on a sweater at one point and she rushed over and told me I had to get it because it made me look like a gremlin and I was like. Yes! That's exactly what I want! So even though I keep saying no more sweaters I couldn't help myself and got my excellent new pullover fleece.

Everyone in the store was extra nice to us. No idea why. Just friendly and jokey. Made me feel good.

We went to ali next door next to look around. We got mini sandwich rolls. And I got a new snack container for work. Since my old one is now just used for lotions and stuff when I travel. It was a nice little stop.

Next we went to Wells Fargo to finally deal with the savings bonds my dad gave me. I am a little sad to lose the papers. With my grandma's and my aunt Nadine's names on them. But it was nice to add to my savings and get closer to my end of the year goal. I am almost there! It did take a while to deposit them because we had to fill out all the backs. And then the computer had an issue. But we got it handled and the woman was real nice. It was interesting to overhear other people cashing checks and getting roles for 50cent pieces and taking out money in very strange denominations. People are so interesting.

Our last stop of the day was duck donuts. Except we made one more when I saw a Michaels in the parking lot and wanted to get more yarn. So we made a quick stop and looked at all the Halloween decor. And I got my yarn. We had a coupon. And then we went and got our donuts.

We could not get the key lime ones because they were out and their fall flavors start tomorrow. But we got strawberry lemonade and blueberry and a few others. It was fun. But I was getting really tired.

We headed home and the podcast we were listening to for extremely loud all of a sudden and upset me. I probably wouldn't have gotten upset if I wasn't so tired.

We got everything in the Ikea bag we got and headed inside. It wasn't to loud. James helped me lay everything out to take a picture to show Jess. And then we got everything put away.

I would get changed and lay down. I wanted Sweetp to join me so I tried to entice him with treats but no luck.

I slept until around 5. And when I woke up I had a lot of messages to respond too. I didn't feel great. Very woozy. James brought me a donut. And things would slowly get better.

I had the other half of my bagel for dinner. And worked on some drawing on my tablet.

James was going to have their DND game tonight but that got canceled so instead they painted their nails.

I mostly chilled. We spent some time together. We had pie. It's been a nice night.

Tomorrow we are going to go visit my parents for lunch. I am convinced my dad is going to suggest the BBQ place where I can't eat anything because he always suggests there. But we will see!! I hope it's a fun day. We also may bring the stuffed animals that need to be washed but we can't do in our machines.

Sleep well everyone, be safe out there!!

[owlkhemy]

If you like my pH meter post and want to know just how ✨️ass✨️ @redpanda411's and my experiences are in labs, here's a list!

Under the cut because this is a long ass post.

If I think of more, I'll add them in the reblogs!

Just How Ass Our Labs Are

The pH meter incident, as described.

The aspirator we used in a tissue culture lab had the tip stuck in it, so we replaced that, and then the other tip was too loose, so we replaced that, and then that tip kept popping out.

The lens we used in a physics lab (earlier today, in fact) was off by a whole 0.6 centimetres in terms of focal length.

A data recording app on my laptop stopped working halfway through human physiology, leading me to have to use a classmate's computer with early-release Windows 11 installed. The app's tech support said they'd never had a case like mine, in all the time they've been around. The app works perfectly now that human physiology is over, of course. I blame a Windows update.

The vitamin C we used in a chemistry lab was "too old", so we got no results even though everyone else did with the exact same stuff.

The force table in our pendulum related physics lab wasn't balanced right even when we made sure the table it was on was level.

The salicylic acid in our organic chemistry lab crystallized because the lids on the vials are ass and the methanol it was stored in evaporated (and the stuff was already in the process of crystallizing when we got it too). One of our solutions looked fine and then proceeded to crystallize at the tip of the pipette, drop and all, when we were trying to measure the refractive index.

We picked such an obscure plant to DNA sequence in biomedical techniques lab that it registered an aster as a squash. Everything else worked great too, and even our prof said it was really well done other than that. It's just that nobody used that plant before. It's super common around here too. (We picked some on our trip back to the grocery store.)

The microscopes in microbiology were so annoying to us (you had to unfocus it before switching to make the fine focus actually work in focusing it enough). Pretty sure nobody else ever complained about them.

Human physiology equipment in general refused to work sometimes, such as when our EEG didn't pick up anything useful despite showing all sorts of waves. Just not the right ones.

We had to travel all over campus looking for a gall for a cell biology assignment. I was covered in burrs when we got back because we had to go that far into a swamp to find one gall.

Other stuff that happened that may or may not be because of our curse:

A bunch of previously sterile liquid media got moldy in our microbiology classroom. It was awful to look at and was sitting there for several weeks.

@redpanda411's elbow got some sort of eczema or chemical burn from one of the labs (not sure which one but we suspect microbio or biomed tech).

My glove ripped for the very first time ever the same day as the aspirator incident. I have worn extra small gloves and they didn't rip despite being, well, extra small, but yet these actually fitting gloves couldn't stand up to the task.

On one occasion one of the members of my group for an animal biology project straight up just didn't show up. I think he said he just slept through it? Seems sus. At least he worked on the presentation I guess.

One of the guys we kept being partnered with refused to do any work. He isn't in the program anymore. Wonder why?

The lab group that we sometimes work with (separate from us in this lab) got absolutely no data on their attempt to run a gel with hair DNA. The smiley face shaped blur on it tells me it was The Cursed One's doing. (Also @redpanda411 is something of a genetic rarity apparently.)

The entire class's attempts at doing chromatography on fruit fly eye pigments failed due to unknown reasons that even our instructor can't figure out.

[luffythinker]

you know what? i too was getting into Overhaul cause i've been watching character videos on him. i plan to write something about him and Shiggy that involves Shiggy learning early on that AFO doesn't really care about him and that conflicts with Overhaul believing he's not supposed to care but he cares cause it reminds him of pops in a messed up way so he wants to help Shiggy. You would not understand the weird scenarios i think about during the day about these two. I don't write very good or well (didnt pay enough attention in that class so my writing skills are more, "a thing is being told" rather then painting a picture with words)

im working towards "forced proximity" cause i think it's funny and it's gonna get them to be friends. i thought up a scenario with my friend where the LOV who is in alliance with the shie hassaikai is trying to do something and they accidently take out/knock out the singer, but the singer looked almost just like Shigaraki with short blue hair, so for a distraction they have shigaraki go on stage and lip sync to her music while they go do whatever it is they have to do.

i quickly wrote it out on my phone so could have the idea to put in a later time in my story i haven't even started yet. I like how everyone always shares their stories with you so i wanna share my cringey mess. i apologize in advance for cringe.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

It was supposed to be a straightforward mission – infiltrate the venue, extract the data, and get out without causing too much of a scene. Leave it to fate to throw a wrench in the works at the worst possible moment.

Shigaraki stood in the dim backstage area, his fingers twitching trying to think of something, anything. "We messed up..." He hissed between his teeth.

"What's the plan?" Spinner wondered out loud peering from where they were concealed backstage at a sold-out concert. The melody of a pop song pounded through the speakers, resonating with the enthusiastic crowd in front. Overhaul mask covering any hint of anxiety that prickled at this development moved the body to a sitting position in a backstage chair. The man shook his gloved hands as if she were something disgusting he'd just touched like raw meat.

Things were about to get interesting in the worse way possible.

Behind them lay the unconscious singer of the night, poor thing was knocked out cold by accident during their chaotic entry. Twice didn't mean to get seen by her, it just kinda happened. Then Dabi knocked her out cold to stop her from screaming and calling security.

She wasn't dead though..what a shame.

Ironically enough, she bore an uncanny resemblance to Tomura: same skeletal cheekbones, ghostly pale skin, and eerily similar blue hair. Overhaul had pointed that out when he saw her face. Nothing like in the pictures they saw on their way in here.

Tomura skin itched differently then normal. The fact he watched him close enough to see his bone structure was creepy as heck but he didn't add anything to that conversation.

Dabi glanced up from where he was rigging a ridiculously huge computer system. "Hey, i think we could have the show go on while we get in and out." The screen lit up his features almost like his fire but duller and white. He brought up one of the singers pop songs from the album list. "You might not like my idea though boss." There was a chuckle in his voice.

Toga's eyes lit up mischievously as she realized what was happening. What he said just now. She looked towards Tomura singling him out.

"OH!" She gasped in delight. "You look just like her!" she repeated Overhaul's earlier statement. "We can use you as a distraction while we do our thing!"

Tomura's blinked his red eyes before glaring at her. "I'm not parading around like some idiot!"

"Whaaaatt? How come?" She put her finger to her chin. "All you have to do is shake your hips a little and pretend to sing! It's not like you'll be doing much. Normally performers play their music behind them and never really sing these days.." She spoke as if she knew more about this subject like it bothered her on some level that they were phony's.

"The only thing i'm gonna shake is your neck with my hands. I'm not doing this!"

Himiko flailed her arms poking her lip out as Tomura. before she could get started on her tantrum- "I mean.." Chronostasis started stepping beside Overhaul. "that's not a terrible idea."

"YOU ONLY THINK THAT CAUSE ITS NOT YOU!" Tomura protested.

"Well whatever you do we gotta do it now." Dabi said bringing up a playlist. "If your gonna do it i would think you should listen to whichever song so they can at least half-believe this class act." The firey man was smirking, bet he thought this was soooo funny..

All of them idiots for this...

Twice approached him his features on his mask squinting and un-squinting. “I'd do it if i could!” he said before switching personalities, adding cheerfully out of place. "But my clones would probably not work very well."

That is..understandably bad news.

Toga giggled behind her hand. "Well, Tomura," she teased playfully, "looks like you get to be a star tonight!"

There was no way out was there? At least not one he could see that wasn't this atrocity. Distract the crowd and buy them some time.

"i hate you." he grumbled under his breath. Tomura was dragged by the arm with Toga to get fitted for the mission. She pulled some outfit she had dug up from backstage racks—ridges glittering under layers of sequins. "What do you think?"

Tomura cringed. "I think im gonna throw up."

Seconds later, Toga had Tomura looking somewhat like the singer if you didn't look very close nobody could tell.

"We couldn't risk the crowd seeing how ugly and spindly your physic is so i did the best i could." She smiled like she'd done something good.

Tomura stood under glaring spotlights facing an amped-up audience urgently waiting for their idol. A quick nod and Spinner triggered the playback Dabi was commanding for a short time. Tomura came toward the edge of the stage while pulling the outfit. It was flashy and ugly to him. White long pants with gray stripe going down the side. a White top that didn't cover all his mid section but a jacket that covered most of his back. White combat boots. As music poured out over deafening speakers echoing resonant beats through massive stadium walls he resumed center stage, he nauseously waved to the crowd first couple seconds of the song starting up. He lip-synced to semi-familiar lyrics gritting teeth behind feigned smile.

Overhaul was going to keep watch with Spinner to make sure this went off without a hitch. Proceeding with the mission while Twice, Dabi, Chronostasis, and Himiko prepared themselves for what they had to do. Chronostasis was visibly tense; however, he had to have some form of faith in this plan.

While watching Tomura from behind a speaker Overhaul got tangled and tripped over some cords that the original crew probably carelessly thrown on the floor beside the stage and fell into the spotlight where Shigaraki was pretending to sing. Tomura watched him look out at the large crowd catching his footing and removing the wires. OH NO... He stepped forward, trying to be calm picking up the live microphone like he was a guest singer and that was planned intro. This was a on the fly move, as the opening notes of a popular song began to play, he signaled for Tomura to pretend-sing with his head.

"What are you doing?" He hissed under his breath as they walked out under the bright lights.

The man whispered back likely mad with himself for getting himself in this situation. "I tripped, but i can't back out now they'll suspect us! so I'm singing."

Tomura squinted. "There's no male parts in this song!"

"I'll sing myself."

Tomura couldn't believe it when he heard the man sing, he didn't know he could sing. Music played through the speakers as Overhaul continued singing into the microphone with surprising vocals. His voice resonated throughout the packed venue while astonishment spread among the audience.

Chronostasis’s mouth fell open in disbelief backstage while Himiko clutched her stomach trying to stifle her laughter. Tomura grumbled angrily but took position next to Overhaul anyway. He feigned enthusiasm and started lip-syncing awkwardly to lyrics he didn't really know. Every fiber of his being screamed for him to hide as he moved stiffly across the stage amidst sparkling spotlights and elaborate dance routines meant for someone else—someone graceful and talented—definitely not him.

At some point Overhaul attempted to step away from center stage during an instrumental interlude with seamless choreographed movements—Tomura grabbed hold tightly onto his arm shouting quietly over roaring music & dazzling lights— "If i have to do this i'm not doing it alone!" Pulling the man back towards the center with him. Absolutely not, there will be no getting out of this that easy his brow came towards his nose.

The mission was already gone sideways, and now it was descending deeper. Tomura continued to begrudgingly lip-synced to the peppy pop song. The crowd, thankfully unaware of the true nature of their 'entertainment,' cheered enthusiastically, blissfully ignorant of the true identities of their performers.

Overhaul momentarily stunned the audience into silence before they erupted into even louder cheers. Overhaul's deep, melodic voice was a stark contrast to the original singers voice and Tomura's half-hearted attempt at mimicking the singer's airy, poppy style.

Backstage, the rest of the League plus Chrono scrambled to keep up with the evolving situation. Some of the bodyguards noticed the singer not being herself and went backstage, they had to fight them off. They had a lot of heavy hitting quirks and blocking quirks which made it even worse. Himiko threw some knifes that were hooked to a new gear she got so they could be reeled back in while Dabi jump kicked a large guy in his face before shooting a string of flames in his face.

Twice dog piled a guy with multiples of himself while Chrono hid behind something until the coast was clear. He'd like them to not know they were all here choosing the stealthy way in.

After knocking them all out the giddily of them Toga, doubled over with laughter, tears streaming down her face as she watched Tomura from a backstage screen. You could see the camara moving all over the place with those two awkwardly attempting to dance to the music.

Dabi was barely containing his amusement, cued up the next song on the playlist. "Just give us a littttle more time boss."

"We need to move now," Chronostasis urged coming out from behind wherever. "This way."

Nodding, Dabi signaled to Twice and Toga. "Alright, you two, follow the plan. Get to the server room while clockwork extracts the data. We'll secure the exit."

As they moved into position, Spinner kept watch from the otherside of the stage entrance opposite of where Overhaul tripped. His eyes scanning the crowd for any signs of trouble. He noticed missing guards already he only could hope Dabi was doing something about it. Overhaul's slip-up had inadvertently given them more time, but it also increased the risk of exposure. They had to be quick.

On stage, Overhaul continued his impromptu performance, his voice steady and confident as he sang the next verse. Tomura's movements were still stiff and awkward. The crowd seemed to love it, cheering louder with each passing moment unable to tell he wasn't their little pop star.

In the back of his mind, he wondered why he was even doing this. This was supposed to be a straightforward mission—get in, get the data, and get out without causing a scene. Instead, he was stuck playing pop star, the spotlight burning into his pale skin as he tried to keep up with Overhaul's unexpectedly competent performance.

"Just a little longer," he muttered to himself, glaring at the enthusiastic crowd. "Just a little longer, and this nightmare will be over."

As the song neared its end, He and Overhaul exchanged a quick glance. They had to keep the act going just a bit longer, until the rest of their team could complete the mission.

With the final notes of the first song ringing out, Tomura managed to play off teen-girl attitude, bouncing on his feet and clapping at it's ending. Red eyes scan the crowd for any signs of trouble. The applause was deafening, a stark contrast to the chaos brewing backstage.

The lights dimmed momentarily for the next set.

"Just keep them distracted. The others should be done soon." Overhaul said in a low voice.

As the next song started, Tomura took a deep breath, steeling himself for the next round of humiliation. He only hoped their efforts would pay off, and they'd be able to complete the mission without further embarrassment.

For now, all they could do was continue the charade and hope for the best.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

idk how to make a like boarder so i just used heart emojis cause this was silly, they are all so silly i love them AHH, i don't know what they are even coming here for but the idea is there

Okay, first of all, love that we're all synchronized and in an Overhaul mood apparently?? I adore forced proximity it always hits so goodkjdfkjdfkjdf

And I think you are selling yourself too short, the writing in this was really good?? I think your writing style fits these characters quite well, cause if it was too flowery or poetical I don't think it would match their vibes, you know? I could imagine everything quite clearly in this

BUT TO THE PARTJKDFKJFDK IT WAS SOO GOOD????

Tomura cringed. "I think im gonna throw up." HE IS JUST SO REALKJFDKLFDKJKKJF i love him so much

And i love the idea of them having to sing in front of each other. Also, i don't know if you meant his voice is deep as in a baritone voice or just regular deep, but I'm gonna assume the first and say that it would be really nice to imagine him singing in a deep breathy type of voice (like Taehyung/V - Love me again)!! For Shigaraki it's hard for me to imagine him singing, but my first thought was to associate him with Felix from SKZ, but not his very very deep voice when he raps, the soft-deep when he sang coldplay or break my heart. ANYWAY THIS WAS NOT TO BE A VOICE ANALYSIS JKDFDFKDFK

But yeah i really enjoyed this and would love to read the full thing when you're done <33333

[casspurrjoybell-23]

LOST and FOUND - Chapter 2 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

After taking a women's coffee order, I rubbed my tired eyes and went to wipe down some tables.

It was thankfully a slow day.

Apparently people didn't need very much coffee today for whatever reason.

I yawned on my way to put the cleaning rag away and Beth, a coworker, stopped me and put her hand on my arm.

"Are you okay, Beau?"

I smiled and rubbed underneath my eyes.

"Just had a rough night. Didn't get a lot of sleep."

I had woken up from nightmares all night long.

"You know you can talk to me if you need to, right?"

Her face showed such concern and my smile faltered.

I tried to be as pleasant as possible at work because no one knew me here and I didn't want to explain my sob story.

I didn't want to go around telling everyone... 'My boyfriend was thirty years older than me and croaked at fifty-five, had a heart attack in the middle of canned foods section at the grocery store while he was buying me soup and now I'm a twenty-five-year-old man that doesn't know how to take care of himself. I eat peanut butter for dinner and can't pay the bills. Will you help me?'

Maybe I hadn't been faking it as well as I thought?

I forced a smile back on my face.

"Thank you, Beth. That's really sweet. I might take you up on that offer sometime."

I wouldn't but I knew that was what she wanted to hear.

It caused her to smile and she surprised me with a hug.

She squeezed me tightly and I patted her back awkwardly.

She pulled away and put her hands on my shoulders.

"You're part of the family here now, Beau. You better get used to it," she told me with a smile.

I didn't get a chance to reply because the bell rang over the door and I had to take someone's order.

I went over to the register and entered my clerk number into the computer before I smiled up at the customer.

"What would you like, sir?"

My fake smile faltered when the man gave me a dazzling smile.

Holy Mother of all... he was absolutely gorgeous.

He had dark hair and dark eyes with thick, sexy scruff on his jaw.

He looked like he could be an underwear model.

He was older than me by a lot... I could tell.

I cleared my throat and put a professional smile back on my face.

He didn't stop smiling at me.

"I've never been here before. What do you recommend..." he looked down at my name tag and then back up at my face. "Beau."

I swallowed, still forcing a smile.

"Honestly, sir, I don't drink coffee. So the only things I could recommend are our smoothies or hot chocolate."

His smile never left his face and he chuckled a little.

"I'm sure those are delicious but I really need caffeine this morning. How about just a large black coffee with one shot of espresso?"

I nodded as I entered it into the register.

"Can I get a name?" I asked, looking back up at him.

"Jona," he answered. "No h."

I wanted to moan.

What a hot name.

'Jesus Christ, Beau. Don't be such a slut. An older man smiles at you five months after your boyfriend dies and you want to drop to your knees. Pull yourself together.'

I very subtly shook my head and entered his name into the computer.

"Also add on a muffin," he said. "Blueberry."

"Sure," I said pleasantly and added the item onto his order.

"Anything else?" I looked up at him.

He was so tall, taller than Harrison for sure and he had been tall.

Jona looked at me with that smile on his face and I really thought he was going to say something.

He just stared at me.

Then he shook his head.

"No, that's it."

"Okay, it'll be ready shortly, Jona," I said.

"Let me get your blueberry muffin."

He seemed to grin even wider at the use of his name.

I felt so on edge.

No one had ever smiled at me so much.

I got a blueberry muffin out of the pastry case and put it in a little paper bag.

I handed it to him and he said...

"Thanks, Beau."

My guard was going up further and further the more that smile got to me.

I nodded and turned away from him.

He was at least forty.

I had told myself that if I ever got involved with someone else then it would not be another older guy.

As much as they appealed to me, I couldn't take anymore heartbreak.

I had expected to have so much more time with Harrison but I learned that you can't expect anything.

If I ever fell in love with anyone else then I promised myself it would be with someone my own age.

I never expected to love someone as much as I loved Harrison but I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life.

Regardless of age though, it was too soon to think about dating.

I was too fucked up to try anything like that.

When I looked back, I saw that Jona had found a table to sit at as he waited for his drink.

He took a big bite of his muffin and checked his cell-phone.

I realized I was staring when he glanced over at me.

One side of his mouth lifted up in a kind of smirk.

I blushed and hurried off to find something to do.

Only a few minutes later I heard Paul call Jona's name after making his coffee.

I waited a minute, hoping that Jona would leave and I wouldn't have to see him again but when I went back out to the front he was still there.

He was sitting at the same table but once he noticed me he got up.

I thought he might try to talk to me but all he said was...

"See you around, Beau," and with that same gorgeous smile on his face.

When I didn't say anything, he stopped on his way to the door and raised an eyebrow at me.

My eyes widened and I swallowed.

"Uh, yeah... bye," I managed to say finally.

He smiled and left the store.

I let out a breath, feeling so relieved.

I took a second to pray that Jona would never come back to the coffee shop because I didn't think I could take it.

But Harrison did always say that God knew exactly what you needed... even if it wasn't what you wanted.

[guzsdaily]

The factory must grow

Day 4 - Nov 09, 12.023

I'm addicted to Factorio, all the times I played it, the sense of time was completely lost to me. It is so addictive to see your factory grow over time, see each production line filling belts, see your research tree being completed. And yesterday, when I ended up being awake until 1 a.m. - and just went to bed because I started to search for mods to speed up the game time because I'm still in a "starter base" and ended up being a little frustrated that my resources were ending and my production slowing down and stalling the research tree - I ended up making an analogy which is what I thought could be the theme for today. This can end up felling very "gen z coach like", but whatever.

Playing creative mode

I never played Factorio in survival mode, the intended way to play it. "Why?" Because I didn't want to be through the grind and consume hours of my day in the slow passed gameplay of gathering resources, waiting to craft an item, walk slowly on the map to build a train line, etc. I always thought that just designing the factory itself would be more fun, "why pass all that when I can just install a mod and play with cheats? It's more fun to make a giant factory with perfect resource consumption and production!". Playing this way was cool and all, I always tried to make the most exaggerated production lines, train networks, furnace arrays, decorating and aligning everything, so in the map it always looked like a giant computer with so many parts.

But for some reason, I never stuck to a base, I never played for hours without feeling bored at some point. Most of the time, all the resource productions were in a brute force way, never actually planning and calculating how many items I needed or consumed. I tried installing modpacks which added more and more things, more resources, processing steps, etc., but it never fixed the problem for me. "I liked building in creative mode in Minecraft for years, why here would be different? It's just like when I'm trying to build Redstone contraptions or giant builds, no?". Because of it, I always stopped playing and had months length intervals of never opening the game.

Playing survival mode

Game design and development is something which really interest me, even knowing that now days I probably wouldn't develop any game, the programming for it is so out there compared to web development that I would need to re-watch all the video courses that introduced me to programming in general in the first place. But I still watch video essays, commentaries, devlogs about game dev and design from time to time, and one of the things that you always see around them is "designed progression", or how games show your progress to make you have fun and see how you're improving your skills and powers. This is even one of the reasons that I was convinced to play ULTRAKILL in the first place, because the flow of the game was so addicting and even being difficult, you see easily how you improve your movement, try different things, adapt and improvise in unexpected situations, etc. And knowing by the title of this section and this paragraph, you already know where this is going.

I tried to play Factorio in the intended way, started a new save called "RealFactorio", default settings, survival, with just Quality Of Life mods to add and fix some features which the developers already plans to do in the 2.0 version. And now I addicted to it, and I just played for some hours in the past three to four days, I pretty much end every day wanting to play at least a little, one hour or so, to progress my base. It all a spaguetti base, but from somewhere I heard, if you call it your "starter base", you can't be judged for it being ugly or poor planned. So here is my started base:

I'm addicted to seeing those belts fill up with science packs after creating a clumsy section just to be able to have the next shining new thing in the research tree. Even if it doesn't produce in big scale, even if most of the belts are empty because I didn't calculate enough resources and production time, even when I already died five times killing enemies to be able to expand the base in the future. It is ✨satisfactory✨, wait… that's another game.

"But why?" Well, it is kinda obvious seeing now. Seeing your progression after you actually battled and put energy into something is rewarding, it gives you dopamine, and all that talk you already know, yadda yadda… However, for me what more is interesting is the difference on how a game like Minecraft, which for me, can be fun in both creative or survival, while Factorio can't. And I think it can be explained in the difference of two words' meaning for me: "creative" and "design".

Creative: this would be the process or joy of creating something itself, expressing what you like, artwork in general. Personally, this is where something like Minecraft in creative mode, creating pixelart in Factorio - which I'm wasn't making - drawing a doddle in your notebook, etc. would be.

Design: this would be when you are creating something with a defined purpose or goal, trying to create something with some sort of pattern or thought behind. Where something like Minecraft survival, Factorio, drawing a new character, logo design, etc. would fall on. This also include the process of adapting a work to fit a limit or trying to create something efficiently. Yes, there's creativity in this process, but the overhaul picture is bigger than one work itself.

And my problem was that I was trying to be creative when I should be designing more. Admiring after how all that work and planning paid off when I saw my factory working with the limited resources it had. Because of this that I found joy on playing the game. That's even why I like to play Minecraft survival, because is both of them at the same time, you need to design farms and collect resources if you want to make your building to express yourself and be creative after.

The [obvious and convoluted] analogy

I have to admit that at this point of writing, the point of this entry made some many turns that I don't even want to rewrite any part of it. It already passed some hours since the start and I need to do something productive today yet. And to be honest, this entire post is just me trying to excuse the hours I spent on the game really.

You probably already heard of that talk about "gamifying your life", and I won't repeat it again here. I'm still learned and probably will add things like a progress bar to see how many tasks I've done one day, small things like that which helps you see your progress daily. And knowing my taste of games and how seeing a progress bar getting to 100% is somewhat satisfying to me, hopefully it would help.

What I want to talk about is on designing your life, and even more, trying to see what pieces to improve, what production line needs more resources and thought on. The same way it is good to break everything into small digestible pieces, if you never stop to see the bigger picture, you never end up seeing your whole progress and how much your factory has grown.

And the other thing to remember is that unfortunately, real life doesn't have a creative mode for most of the time and for most of the people, so resources are limited, and you don't have infinite energy, but would it be fun if it had?

---

Today's artists & creative things

Album/EP: Spare Hearts - by Exit Mouse - This is that album that you forget about, but when you remember it, you need to listen to it again and again. Exit Mouse I discovered because of Goulart (a Brazilian youtuber) which made a video about the online series Cat Ghost, and I simply fell love with the music. Highly recommend, favorite music of the album for me is "This is (Not) (feat. Caleb Hypes)", it just gives a feel of hope but also uneasiness[?] the entire album, and I love it.

Copyright (c) 2023-present Gustavo "Guz" L. de Mello  <contact.guz013@gmail.com>

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License

[havealittlegabagool]

Wish I had store-bought Serotonin

I woke up to a light drizzle and the most bleak looking skies I've ever seen. The gray had a certain expansiveness to it, I couldn't tell how deep it was and it seemed to go on forever. I emerged from several layers of blankets elated in the change of weather. Finally, some variety!

I gradually dawned more clothing throughout the day. Slipped into sweatpants from pajamas, then had to add socks by 9:30. Then my size XXL Bears sweatshirt (I'm not a sports fan). More layers. Warm liquid in mug. My heating pad. I burned through the rest of my pumpkin spice candle. It just went out, no more wick left to give. Around 12 I was starting to feel a brain lag, a lack of energy, if you will. This is usually associated with depression (like you're a fish drifting in a fishbowl, wanting to do something about your situation but lacking the energy, like you're just stuck), however I have Wellbutrin for that so it must be the weather just getting to me.

I used to take an SSRI in addition to the Wellbutrin, but when my insurance switched a month ago, I thought I would stop all meds and "start fresh". I, as well as the rest of the internet health websites, advise against this. I had been on these medications for a year and wanted to change up my plan. Sure, I was the happiest I've ever been since covid started and I graduated college, but I thought a change to my cocktail was necessary. Anyway, here we are, on this dreary day, without an SSRI to lift me out of the gutter of my mind.

There were side effects of the SSRI that I didn't like that are keeping me from going back on it. The Wellbutrin I got an emergency prescription from my new GP after two weeks of stress, anxiety, and mental breakdowns, the likes of which I haven't experienced since before I was on the meds. At about 1 I googled natural ways to boost serotonin, but the main one (get some sunlight) was just not an option today. How the hell do people in the Pacific Northwest survive??? Are y'all okay???? Do YOU need any SSRIs?? Let me know.

I felt better after forcing myself to interact with other humans, taking my eyes off my computer screen, eat some lunch, etc. Several more months of this weather. I need to buy another holiday candle.

[cellophaine]

Congratulations on 1K!!! You deserve it so much your writing is honestly so amazing!

If it's not too late I'd love to request a Matt Murdock x reader where y/n is in an unhealthy relationship and Matt finds out (queue angry protective Matt) and takes her back to his place where she admits she thought she was genuinely in love with her now ex. Idm how you end it or if you want to add or change anything to this.

Please feel free to ignore this request if you don't want to write about this stuff or if I'm too late or just if you feel like it haha 😊

Hope you are staying healthy!

Ultraviolence

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Warnings: Depictions of an abusive relationship.

Author's Note: Thank you Anon!! I'm very much conflicted about how this fic turned out, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!

GIF Credit: @/malydiamakingifhunts-blog (Somebody get Charlie in JPCU – Jordan Peele Cinematic Universe – immediately. IMMEDIATELY.)

You stared out of the window, watching raindrops race down the glass pane. The building across the street started to morph into something else behind the fogginess in your eyes. Sleep pulled at your eyelids, begging you to rest for a second. The two cups of coffee you had earlier did nothing to help as you felt progressively worse throughout the day. Your eyes fluttered slowly, trying to stay awake as your grip on the pen loosened.

A hand came down on your shoulder, disrupting your daze state, startling you. The pen slipped out of your grip, falling to the floor with a sharp echo. You raised a hand up in defence, only to lower it when you saw Matt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I called your name, and you didn't answer."

He pulled his hand back, showing you that he meant no harm. You let out a relieved sigh, smoothing a hand down your face in the hope of dampening the embarrassment you felt.

"Oh no, it's my fault. I should've been more focused. Sorry, it won't happen again."

You stood up abruptly, walking around the desk to retrieve the fallen pen. Matt put his hand out, stopping you before you could return to your desk.

"Are you okay? You seem … distracted. Tired, even."

You released a shaky sigh, smiling at Matt even though he couldn't see your vain attempt in pretending everything was okay. Even with your verbal confirmation.

"I'm fine. It's just one of those days."

You squeezed past him and returned to your seat. Your silence, along with the rustle of pen on paper, ended the unfinished conversation that left Matt with even more questions and concern. Because the thing was, it wasn't just one of those days. This had gone on for over a year, he noticed. You were always tired, muffling your yawns with the back of your hand. Your body seemed to droop when you thought no one paid attention, as if you were only propped up by skin and bones. You spaced out more often; you stopped hanging out with him, Foggy and Karen after work. He noticed how you tensed up, your muscles tightened, as if you were briefly paralyzed when another person put their hands on you. You didn't act this way before until a new presence forced himself into your life. Matt had his suspicions, but he couldn't confirm them since you always pretended that you were okay. He didn't want to overstep the boundaries you had set up before your friends. Before him.

It was 10:47PM, and you were still in the office. He knew because he stayed with you. You locked up in the office all day, and if he wasn't mistaken, you hadn't eaten at all. Something felt very, very wrong.

"It's late. You and I should go home."

You looked up from the computer, eyeing Matt standing at the door to his office. You held back a yawn, answering him through the bleariness in your voice.

"You can go ahead. I'm almost done with this. You don't have to wait for me."

Matt tilted his head slightly to the side, his brows knitted in worried lines.

"I'd like to walk you back. It's late, and you know how the neighbourhood can be."

"It's okay. I … I want to stay here."

Your voice grew smaller in the last sentence. Matt perked up at the sliver of an opening, and he took that chance, slipping through the crack you ever so slightly left exposed.

"What do you mean?"

Your body tensed up, and Matt almost regretted asking you. But he advanced.

"Is everything okay at home?"

Matt tried to keep his voice level, not to alarm you of his impatience to find out what was wrong. You sighed heavily before continuing.

"I had a big fight with my boyfriend ...."

Something clicked in place in his head. Too many things started to unravel themselves, creating a predicament of threads woven deeply into the root of his mind, yet, they let him see the complete picture.

".... about how much time I was spending at the office. He accused me of cheating on him."

You sniffled dryly; your hands played nervously with the manila folder.

"Anyway, you're right, it's late, we should go. He's probably not angry anymore. He's expecting me."

You busied yourself, gathering the stacks of the document in front of you, oblivious to Matt's silence. His suspicions were confirmed, but instead of the satisfaction of being right, Matt felt a chill racing down his spine. He was terrified of what had been happening right under his nose, but above all, he was furious. He couldn't see it, couldn't hear your cries for help. But you hadn't known of them, either.

"I don't think you should go back to him."

You stopped in your tracks; the sound of paper rustling in the quiet room fell dead in the weight of what Matt just said.

"You can't tell me what to do. You're not my dad. You're not my boyfriend."

Your tone turned cold as the need to be defensive rose in waves. With your vulnerable state, you couldn't afford to be weak in front of anyone else, for you were afraid you would break.

"I am your friend who's worried about your well-being. Shouldn't that mean something? And just because someone is your father, your boyfriend doesn't make them entitled to your life and decisions."

You scoffed; your voice made a mockery out of his sincere concern.

"And how ironic is that you're making my choice for me."

"I can tell that you're lying. You don't want to be with your boyfriend right now. In fact, you're scared. Am I wrong?"

Matt knew he stepped over the line, but it was too late for that now. Your chair scraped unpleasantly on the hardwood floor as you stood up, outmatching his fiery counter.

"I'm not scared of him! Stop putting words in my mouth."

You didn't bother to be quiet at this hour of the night, not when your friendship was discarded to the side like a broken toy.

"Then stop denying it! Even a blind man like me could see that you're lying."

"Fine! I'm fucking terrified of him!"

You choked on your outburst, drawing in a sharp breath. The weight of the words sunk in, racing in your conscious. You had never admitted it out loud, not even to yourself. You saw your boyfriend for what he truly was –abusive, controlling, manipulative. But you ignored the sirens in your head, for you believed that no one would love you as he did. So you bought his excuses, putting up with his toxic behaviours and abuse.

You sobbed, clenching a fist over your mouth to stop the uncontrollable whimpers from coming out. Your body shook hard, and you felt like you couldn't stop. The dam was broken, overflowing with grief for parts of you that died to please your boyfriend. You were exhausted, but your mind was free of burden.

Matt hated that he was doing this to you, that he was the one who inflicted more pain on you. He was afraid this would happen, and he would never be able to get you back. You could walk away from his life and never return. His heart pounded hard in his chest as the thought squeezed at his heartstring, making it harder for him to breathe. But Matt knew he would rather lose you than see you enduring the pain.

You were pulled into a warm, comforting embrace of the only other person in the room. You felt Matt's hand coming up to the nape of your neck, pulling you to him.

"Do you have anywhere else to go to?"

You shook your head after a long pause.

"Do you have someone you could stay with?"

Another shake of your head. His heart felt like it was bleeding as the walls of his ribcage closed in, crushing the throbbing flesh and vessels.

"Please, don't go to him tonight."

His voice trembled as he begged you. The unconcealed intensity of his plea resounded in your mind, and you shivered at the sheer rawness.

"Stay with me instead. I'll keep you safe."

You looked up at him, still safe within his embrace, and saw the serious expression on his face.

"I know I might not look like it, but I do pack a punch."

That pulled a watery chuckle from you as you wiped your face off with your sleeves. Finally, you nodded, your damp cheek dragged across his white dress shirt. Matt felt like a boulder was lifted from his chest, and he could finally breathe again.

His place was just like how you remembered. Dark, and weirdly impressive. Matt hung your coat up and pointed you in the direction of the light. You trailed behind him as he walked before you to the living room.

"How long has this been going on?"

You felt dread creeping in at the coldness of his voice. You hadn't expected that from him, at least, not at this moment when you still felt vulnerable. You could see the anger etched onto the stubborn lines of his brows and the deep frown on his lips. The silent fury seemed to pour from him, burning in his unsighted eyes. He was the predator looking for a prey to devour.

You involuntarily took a step back.

"I ... I can't. It's complicated."

Matt could feel your uneasiness, and he regretted his question. He ran a hand through his hair, calming down the rage that still burned at his skin. His face softened as his next question came.

"Are you hungry? What do you feel like?"

Your stomach responded at the mention of food. You clutched at your waist, hoping Matt didn't hear that.

"Anything at all. I haven't eaten all day, so I'm not picky."

You lingered at the end of his couch, not knowing what to do with yourself. Your hand picked at the sleeve of your blouse nervously. The soft material stuck to your body like a second skin, and you desperately needed to change into something else. You didn't want to bear the weight of this exhausting day anymore, not when you were in a safer place.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket, startling you. You searched for it in your bag, reading your boyfriend's name on the screen. Fear spiked in your heart again, and you hastily declined the call. Scrolling through the notifications, you swallowed hard at the multiple missed calls, voicemails and threatening messages. You turned the phone off with shaky hands, dropping it into your bag. You looked up to see Matt coming out of the bedroom with a stack of clothes in his hands.

"If you want to freshen up, the bathroom's right there. I think it might help you feel a little better."

You smiled at him gratefully, taking the bundle from him with a word of appreciation. Under the hot stream of water, you let the reality soak in. You were here, in Matt's place and not your boyfriend's like you were supposed to. You were terrified of what he might do, and you couldn't help but quiver at the thought. Taking a deep breath, you reminded yourself that you should deal with this one step at a time.

You came out of the shower after trying to make Matt's clothes fit better on you. His sweatshirt hung off your frame; the end of the sleeves reached past the tips of your fingers. His sweatpants were no exception.

The smell of food made your mouth water as Matt beckoned you to join him. You ate in the comfortable silence until Matt spoke up, breaking your peace bubble.

"What happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I ... I want to be there for you."

He tried to keep his voice level, not letting it betray his simmering rage. You dropped your head, allowing a heavy sigh to escape.

"Promise me you won't hire a hitman to go after him?"

Matt made a cross on his chest where his heart was.

"I promise. Cross my heart."

You put your food down, wrapping your hands around yourself, suddenly feeling exposed. You told Matt how your relationship progressed in the past year since you met your boyfriend. A seemingly perfect gentleman who knew what to say at the right moment. He wooed you with flowers, dinner for two at some fancy restaurants, date nights at the theatre and so much more. It was all a front to pull you into his web of deception, and by the time you realized what truly went on behind his mask, you were in too deep. He craved control and power. He rendered you helpless with his sugarcoated lies, manipulating you into a mere decoration by his side. And when you didn't listen, the real terror began.

"I haven't truly felt safe and happy in a long time. But, still, I really was ... in love with him. Or so I thought."

You felt goosebumps rising along your arms. You ran your hands up and down, trying your best to calm your frazzled nerves.

"I think what made me love him was the idea he gave me. That he was the one for me. So he couldn't do anything wrong in my eyes."

You trained your eyes onto the coffee table in front of you, not noticing how Matt's hand clenched tightly on his side. The grip made his knuckle turn white, his finger dug into the palm, almost breaking his skin.

"I accepted that as if it was my idea of love. So when … when he hurt me, it felt like his way of showing how much he loved me."

Overwhelmed with all the conflicting emotions, you buried your face into your hands, letting yourself break down in front of Matt for the second time that night. He pulled you in, his hand found its way to your head, resting your face in the crook of his neck. It was as if the fog was lifted, and he could see better than ever. Matt whispered at your temple, hoping that you could feel the truthfulness in his words.

"I won't let you go through something like that ever again."

That night, you fell asleep on his bed, with his hand on your hair soothing you. You were unaware of what happened after you drifted off, and you wouldn't know about that, at least for a while. Matt closed the bedroom door, heading straight for the hidden chest. He gave you his words that he wouldn't hire a hitman. But he didn't promise he wouldn't go after your boyfriend himself. So Matt went out, following the invisible trail of blood you left behind, seeking out the root of your torment in the dead of night.

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