#warning: mentions of drugs

[mamuzzy]

Culture shock(ed)trooper

featuring my corrie OCs Lily and Blaze and corrie!Fives

Fives: So what's this... this thing? Lily: PocKam. Fives: what Blaze: Pocket holocamera. Natborns have this to capture the moment but Lily only uses for taking photos of his face from 100 angles at least five times a day. Lily: My selfies are great, thank you very much. Anyway, you can capture anything you want. Tooka photos, cute shoes behind showcases you will never have enough credit to buy... Lily: Or, yes, you take selfies in the Outlander on your day-off, accidently capturing an exchange between a crack dealer and their client and of course Commander Fox had to spot it! Not a single compliment like, "Wow, Lily what a great make-up you have there!" Nooo, Commander Fox bothers himself comment under my picture and talk about the exchange between the crack dealer and their client! The audacity! My night was ruined! Fives: Oh my fucking god Blaze: Why were you in the Outlander anyway? Lily: Ganja.

[xannorexic]

the ed + addict stereotypical breakfast and I love it

[funpuddle]

[ashonmyfoodd]

i love speed it kills my appetite immediately

[florenceisfalling]

i have so much fun writing anti as such a specific brand of shitty guy that it makes me insane its so sad that i havent been posting writing of him consistently in years and all my old stuff is garbage. you guys would be insane for the shit i exchange with june on discord. my version of anti is so distant from canon in a lot of ways but not in his pathetic, attention whore, mockery-intolerant, "i will kill everyone in this room including myself" bullshit. like he's not scary because he's skilled or has self-control, he's scary because he will literally do whatever the fuck for attention. he will break his own bones and show up at your house sobbing about it. he will relapse and fuck his dealer and send you pictures of his own fresh and oozing cigarette burns alongside a text that says "wish you were here". he will threaten to kill himself and force you to watch. he will gut your boyfriend alive and deliver you a tape of it. he will break into your house while you're gone, cook you food and leave it on the stove with everything else inexplicably untouched. he will start impersonating you online and blackmail you so bad all your family members block your number. he will test every single boundary you give him. or, he will be self-indulgent, and just kidnap you to torture you every day. and he would rather you beat him to a pulp than abandon him or ignore him.

[bobthedragon]

I didn't realize it was hourly comic day until I saw other ppl posting so here is my extremely uncoordinated day too

[just-antithings]

Jat; Character not having a canon age somehow is still considered a “child” despite the following; He has a defined chin that no one kid characters in the series have, he is at an academy where you meet FULL ON ADULTS AND ELDERLY FOLKS WHO WANT TO HAVE A FUN ADVENTURE, Character straight up has defined side burns which again isn’t common for the series kids to have, the character literally is referred to as an upperclassman and even calls himself big brother so he is definitely older, and the vague timeline of his life we get implies he may be a young adult. But no, fandom antis are mad because drawing him with his pecs out is “sexualizing a minor”. Headcanon what you want but I ain’t playing these dorky games that GROWN man is getting PEGGED!!! And besides, even if it’s revealed he is actually #widdlebaby>^< it don’t matter. He isn’t fucking real. He literally cured his dog of vague injuries with special weed sandwiches, I think he is allowed to show hole if he so pleases.

You’re right and you should say it

[krikeymate]

Prompt: Tara notices scars on Sam’s arms from past track marks

Check out @dreamersbcll incredible take on this prompt, here!

➖

Tara sighs contentedly into her sister's neck, fingers tracing patterns against Sam's bare arm as they cuddle on the couch.

Bare.

That's new.

Ever since Sam had come back into her life, she can count on one hand the number of times her sister had allowed herself to be uncovered, skin exposed to the world. Tara had never really thought about it, never questioned it. After all, who was she to call it out, hiding away just the same.

Tara knows the reasons why she hides. As her thumb slides down a prominent vein, lightly discoloured scars slipping from view, she wonders if Sam's are the same.

Shame.

She chews her lip, desperate to ask but unable to find the words.

They haven't talked about... before. Not really, not in any depth. Half their life, shadowed and locked away, acknowledged only in glimpses through a keyhole, in the blood that spills out through the crack of the door sometimes.

Tara wonders if it's better to know, or if it will only hurt them, hurt Sam.

She doesn't want Sam to hurt anymore. She doesn't want her to feel the need to hide.

She doesn't want her to think she's alone. Not again. Never again.

But Tara's never been good at saying the right thing. She's too reactive, too impulsive. Words have a tendency to slip out before she can even think.

She's a lot like their mother that way.

She hates knowing that, hates that it's not the only thing she's inherited from that shade of a human being.

With memories of one-sided arguments and looks of exhausted acceptance, of a dark-haired woman collapsed on a bathroom floor with a bottle in hand - her mother, Sam, Tara, memories converging into one - Tara wraps her fingers around Sam's wrist and draws it close.

She presses her lips against the skin, the way Sam used to do with her, all those years ago. I'm here, the touch would say, I've got you.

I love you.

It never made the pain go away, but it always reminded Tara that Sam was there, that she could wrap herself in her arms and hold her tight until it had passed, that she had a shoulder to cry into when the world got too much.

She always knew she could handle anything with those silent promises tattooed into her skin.

The act makes Sam tense for a flash, pulse noticeably jumping. Her sister never had the security that Tara had, the support of someone who loves her, of misplaced pity and leniency from those around them. Sam was burdened with only expectations and scorn, a legacy she never asked for, a life sentence she should never have had to carry... Tara hopes that - if even just for a moment - she can help shoulder the burden instead of being one.

She shifts to look up, a sudden urge to see Sam overwhelming her. No uncertainties have ever survived her sister’s gaze, and sure enough, dark questioning eyes peering down at her settle the writhing in her stomach.

Tara finds herself lost for a point, enamoured with the way the light of the television – forgotten and drowned out, virtually silent against the hum of her thoughts – dances against Sam’s eyes.

They always have so much to say. Tara wishes she could speak the language, to respond in kind.

She settles for kissing Sam’s scars, hoping her love will seep into the parts of her sister that she cannot stand to love herself.

There’s no part of Sam that isn’t beautiful, she should tell her that sometime.

But not tonight, she thinks, as Sam pulls her ever closer and she settles her head back down against her shoulder.

They don’t need words tonight, she knows, as her sister presses lips against her head.

They just need each other.

[mattodore]

60 questions with Theo | playlist, pinterest | ->

1. What’s the one thing they would save in a fire?

Theo is a collector and a bit of a hoarder, so there’d be too much he’d try to save. I really couldn’t just say one thing… but I guess he’d grab his memory journal first.

2. What’s their biggest regret?

Not being good enough. Not being lovable enough. 

3. How would they fare in a zombie apocalypse?

Theo would do very well up until a point. He’s a survivor through and through, but I do think he’d burn out eventually. He could go a few years before breaking down. When he’s no longer able to repress all of his emotions, the feeling of exhaustion would weigh on him. He’d get bitten soon after, almost on purpose.

4. Where do they see themselves in five years? Ten?

Working for his father for a few decades and later taking over his father’s company. He feels a lot of dread and nausea over this.

5. What’s their most useless, weirdest, or least marketable skill?

He can wiggle his ears.

6. What are they like in the bedroom — well-rounded lover or wooden plank?

Theo is… well. More wooden plank than anything. Sorry, Theo. But, well, he normally goes for more aggressive partners who tend to take control anyway. I don’t think Theo really wants to be all there during sex… it’s one of the reasons why he normally uses before finding hook-ups… it makes him a little foggy and loose. I do think, however, that it’s a little bit different when he’s with women. In Theo’s experience, women treat him kinder… which is one of the reasons why he mostly sleeps with men. He wants affection, sure, but he’s also uncomfortable with it… he’s used to pain. With Matthias, however, this does end up changing. Maybe it’s because Matthias is gentle with him unless he’s asked for it to be rough, or because Matthias won’t fuck him when he’s using, but Theo’s more active when having sex with Matthias. Not a lot of talking, but he pulls and pushes and moves how he wants. After a while, he starts taking control and speaking more.

7. Have they committed a crime before? Which one(s)?

Theo uses drugs frequently.

8. If they were an animal, which one would they be? Which one would they think they’d be?

Theo is a pygmy rabbit or a netherland dwarf rabbit (that temperament… yeah). I think Theo would see himself as… well, a goldfish trapped in a bowl, swimming in endless circles and going nowhere.

9. Do they cheat to win or play by the rules?

Theo plays by the rules, generally speaking. If we’re talking sports, though, he does play dirty. He’s very competitive.

10. What do they fantasize about?

Comfort. A room with a door that locks and will keep him safe all night. A bed on the floor. Blinds and curtains on every window. Matthias’s arms wrapped around him so tight he can hardly breathe.

11. Who’s the most important person in their life?

I want to say Matthias, but it’s his parents. It’s hard for Theo to cut them off, even despite the abuse. I don’t think this changes to Matthias for a very, very long time.

12. What’s their ideal vacation like?

Theo can’t even imagine what a vacation would be like. I think even fantasizing about it would stress him out… he’d just think about how far behind it’d put him academically. 

13. What is/was/will be their college major?

Business. Statistics and data. He doesn’t like it.

14. What’s their favorite book genre, if they enjoy reading at all?

Theo doesn’t read for pleasure very often — he has too much reading to do for school — but I think he’s always enjoyed science fiction from a very young age.

15. How would they describe themselves?

Theo wouldn’t know how to describe himself at all. He’d freeze at the question and become despondent.

16. How would others describe them?

Matthias: Lovely beyond words. Intelligent and wry. Shy, pulls away when feelings are too much or too positive. Irresistible. Anxious about things that I could make go away if he'd let me. Lashes out when he gets scared. Strong when he shouldn’t have to be. Soft when he should be hard. Too forgiving to the wrong people. Easily frustrated. Standing on the edge. Endearingly insolent. A mirrored image. Every beautiful thing. Angel. Bambi. Mała myszko.

Everett: Sometimes he makes himself so small… like an injured animal. Jumpy and skittish. But strong, too… impassive when he’s hurt. He’s hiding a lot, but you can see through the cracks sometimes. He needs help, but he won’t let anyone in.

Jordan: Stubborn and headstrong. Naïve or just reckless. Lost. Like a child.

Dutchie: Hard to get to know. Honestly couldn’t tell you much about him despite the years of friendship. Still… you wanna protect him.

Jackson: Fun to be around, y’know… for a rich kid. Troubled, though. Hard to reach. Everyone wants to get to know him better, but… he doesn’t really allow that.

Kavi: Incredibly intelligent but totally aloof. Mysterious. Nose always buried in his books. Cold.

Imani: Too good for Matthias. Sweet. 

17. What’s the most ridiculous thing they’ve ever spent money on?

A large collection of delicate Fenton glass bells and assorted pieces. He collects them and stores them in an antique curio cabinet in his apartment.

18. What’s their dream job?

He doesn’t have a dream job. He just does what he’s told and expected to do, which is to work for his father.

19. How’s their financial situation?

His parents have a lot of money. He doesn’t have a job (honestly… he isn’t permitted one). He’s financially reliant on his parents.

20. Who’s their go-to person for advice?

Theo doesn’t ask for advice from anyone. 

21. What’s one secret of theirs that could potentially ruin a relationship they have?

If he told his parents that he’s bisexual and interested in men they would cut him off or worse…

22. Are they a dog person or a cat person — or something else?

Theo’s never had a pet before, so I don’t even think he himself knows the answer to this. He likes Matthias’s cat well enough, but he’s never been around many dogs to really choose between the two. I think he really likes looking at fish… I’m iffy on if he’d ever actually own one, though.

23. What’s one childhood memory they’ve never forgotten?

CW for child abuse. I’m talking directly about an instance of abuse. This isn’t vague like I usually am when I talk about Theo’s trauma.

Being beaten for tracking mud onto the rug in his father’s office. His father stood him in front of a full length mirror in the hall and made him watch. If he looked away he would be struck again. If his knees buckled he would be hauled back up and hit harder. It felt like it lasted for hours. Theo had been in the gardens beforehand, an umbrella held over him by his au pair. The dwarf sunflowers had bloomed and in his excitement he pulled off a petal and barreled into the home, heading straight to his father to show him how yellow the petals were. His au pair couldn’t keep up with him, and Theo was always forgetting to take off his shoes when he came in from outside. He was very young… maybe five or six.

24. Do they have any phobias?

Open doors. Windows without curtains or blinds. Locks that aren’t sturdy. Mirrors. Older men. Authoritative figures.

25. What’s one thing they’re utterly incapable of doing without the help of someone else?

Theo is actually very independent. It’s hard to think of anything he couldn’t do himself, because he’s always been on his own, really. 

26. What’s one topic they could never get tired of researching or learning about?

Theo is very intelligent, but he’s not actually that interested in learning. He lost that drive and passion at a relatively young age. He’s no longer curious. Hm… I think he might get a little thrill from learning information that’s just… completely useless. Like, think dumb trivia. Still, though… knowledge is synonymous with pressure to him. It makes him feel sick.

27. What’s their favorite genre of music?

Theo will listen to anything. I don’t think he necessarily has a favorite genre. Hm… I think he likes lullabies, though. Quiet music. Calming.

28. Who, if anyone, do they dislike most?

Himself.

29. If they could change one thing about themselves, physical or otherwise, what would it be?

Whatever would make his parents happy with him. Whatever could make him better suited for the part they want him to play.

30. What’s their political stance?

Theo is whatever his parents want him to be on paper, but politically he’s… a liberal, I guess. His party friends, in general, lean left… and they’re definitely influencing him some. However, I don’t think he has the backbone to really go any which way. 

This question is a little hard for me to answer with some of the echthroi cast because they’re rich at the end of the day, ya’ know? Materially, politics don’t touch them.

31. Are they religious?

No.

32. What were they like in high school?

He was all over the place. Quiet and then having these uncontrollable outbursts. Fearful. Frequently pulled aside by teachers, being asked pointed questions. Standoffish. Flinching when touched. Far away from the other students. At the same time he was scared to be alone, though, so he would blend in with the crowds when he could. At the summer school he was sent to yearly, the outbursts always got worse.

33. What’s the worst injury they’ve ever had?

I’m going to choose not to answer this one.

34. Do they work to live or live to work?

Live to work. He doesn’t know who he’d be without it. It’s what he was molded for.

35. Do/did they want children?

No. Theo is scared of even the idea of having children.

36. What’s their favorite thing about themselves?

Nothing? I don’t know. Theo… really doesn’t like himself. Maybe his hair, though… his pierced ears… the things he feels give him autonomy.

37. What’s their favorite thing about their significant other, if they have one?

Hm. I think Theo really likes how big Matthias is. He towers over people and is visibly strong. I think that offers Theo a lot of comfort. He feels safe when Matthias is around. Matthias is also very protective, so… it makes it easier for Theo to face his fears. There’s a reliability to Matthias that Theo needs. Matthias cares about him and tells him frequently how much he loves him… Theo’s never had that before. It makes him feel lighter.

38. If they hear something go bump in the night, do they get out of bed to check it out or do they stay put?

Theo is paralyzed but his mind shoots off at a mile a minute. He’s too terrified to do anything.

39. What’s one skill they wish they had?

A photographic memory. It would make his life a lot easier with regards to his education. He’s never thought about the downsides to this… especially as someone with drug and trauma related memory loss…

40. What do other people find annoying about them, if anything?

He can be very cutting and dismissive. He's judgmental, too. First impressions are everything if you want him to even be cordial with you.

41. What do other people love most about them?

He has this magnetism to him that you can’t really put your finger on. I think it’s a combination of how handsome he is alongside the way he keeps himself almost entirely separate from everyone else… you always want what you can’t have. 

42. What’s the typical first impression after meeting this person?

That he’s very prickly or just cold… restless… doleful. 

43. What do people notice first about them, as far as their appearance goes?

The repressed anger and sorrow in his eyes. Then, maybe, all those beauty marks. The elegant line of his body.

44. Does this person try their best to be honest or are they not above lying to get their way?

Theo isn’t a very good liar, but he’s very good at prevarication and skirts the truth with ease. 

45. What kind of movies do they like?

Theo doesn’t have time for movies. Regardless… I think he’d like horror movies. I think… Theo would find a lot of comfort in watching horrible things happen to fictional people. He could fictionalize the abuse he’s faced that way.

46. Are they the life of the party or a wallflower?

I’d say he’s a bit of a mixed bag on this one. If he’s using, he’s the life of the party. If he’s sober, he’s a wallflower. Either way, though, people will approach him to strike up conversation and ask him to dance.

47. Are they an early bird or a night owl?

Early bird. Theo doesn’t actually like the night. Does he still party until three in the morning? Yeah. But… well. Theo tortures himself in many different ways, doesn’t he?

48. Are they a good kisser?

He’s not bad at it, but he never really kissed anyone until Matthias. So… he’s not amazing at it or anything. He’s learning as he goes. 

49. Do they think about what they wear or do they throw on whatever they find first?

Theo definitely plans out outfits. I think he has three separate lives he’s living and three separate fashion senses to suit each of them. He dresses very typically masculine and rich when he’s with his parents. He dresses down for university but incorporates some elements of his nightlife wardrobe on occasion. He experiments more with sexuality and gender for his nightlife fashion… I think this is what he would prefer to wear all the time, only with a less dramatic flare.

50. Do they have any insecurities?

I could be contracted to write a trilogy about Theo’s insecurities and would meet every deadline with ease. The underlying root of all of his insecurities is his belief that he’s unlovable and dirty, though. Let’s keep it simple with that.

51. What is their favorite thing about themselves?

A repeat question. I’ll add onto my last answer, though, to say that I think he has some days where he feels really good about his appearance and some days he doesn’t. He’s temperamental.

52. What’s their diet like?

Theo eats whatever is made for him and will finish all of it even if he dislikes it or isn’t hungry. He doesn’t have any favorites, but he really dislikes candy or sweets.

53. If they could only eat one thing for the rest of their life, what would it be?

Again, he doesn’t have anything in particular he likes. I guess something easy to eat would be the answer… maybe mangos.

54. What’s their body count, if they have one?

I think he has sex very regularly… on average I'd say once a week unless he’s studying too intensely for a break or his last experience was a really rough one. He doesn’t always sleep with new people, either. The faces blur, though. Hm. I can’t say an exact number and Theo wouldn’t be counting anyway.

55. Who do they look up to most?

The blurry image he has of his childhood au pair.

56. What do they smell like?

Copying things I’ve mentioned previously here… Theo smells very clean. Think green and fresh… a little powdery. He doesn’t often wear cologne, so he mostly just smells like soap — not even his body lotion is scented. He doesn’t like strong or chemical smells on himself. As a signature he’d wear a spritz of Francis Kurkdjian’s Aqua Universalis. However, Theo will also wear Gucci’s Tears from the Moon, which was a gift from his mother, if he’s at family events — it’s outside of his preference but that’s neither here nor there.

57. How do they feel about drugs?

…Theo is an addict. He doesn’t get clean for a few years and relapses multiple times. He relies on them but he also wishes he’d never touched them sometimes, usually when the guilt floods in after he’s sobered up from one of the outbursts he’s had because of them.

58. If they could change one thing about their life, what would it be?

Hm. I’m going to bow out of answering this question as well.

59. What motivates them?

A desire for recognition, acceptance, and love.

60. What are some of their simple pleasures?

Collecting knickknacks. Cold showers. The wind whipping through his hair when he sticks his head out of the window of a car. The sound of the windchimes outside his bedroom window. Odious purring on his chest. Matthias’s voice in his ear.

[xannorexic]

little intro 🧸🩷

my names mckenna/kenna, I'm 17, I have multiple addictions, I love weed, I have a diagnosed eating disorder, and i just want to post rants on this blog related to my mental health and whatever.

I'm NOT in recovery atm, but I'm pro recovery for everyone but myself.

blog tw: drugs, suicide, eating disorders, bpd talk, and self harm (not actively)

lmk if you wanna be friends ❣️❣️

[permettez-moi]

I think Halt was addicted to some sort of drug at a point in his life

Either while he was at dun kilty, or right after

Idk why my sleepy brain just made that up and the puzzle clicked for some reason.

His worn out look, how he is described as quite old looking, but also, he went through a shit ton of trauma and horrible stuff, and going with the autistic! Halt idea, that would make him more likely(? - not sure if that's the right wording?) To have stuff like depression and burn out, which goes hand in hand with addiction

Anyways

Sleep nice and for more than 6 hours beloveds

[ashonmyfoodd]

i fucked everything up with my chocolate binge i feel so terrible took more benzos now probably gonna take more cause i feel so shitty i just wanna undo it

[notahorseindisguise]

nimrod appreciation post. nimrod to me feels like the middle child stuck between the incredibly talented younger brother, american idiot, and the classic, original yet brilliant, older brother dookie. and it feels a little overlooked. but its SUUUUUCH a banger of an album. i listen to it in full very regularly, skipping only one song (i dont like instrumentals) and its just. so amazing

[just-antithings]

Gilbert Baker->leather->bear->cougar->cougar flag is stolen as the lipstick lesbian->they remove the lipstick but keep the lipstick flag-> THE OCEAN GAY FLAG GOES HERE BECAUSE IT'S OLDER->the current lesbian flag

*hints blunt* the evolution of flags is fascinating

[lopeirce]

"Anytime that you suppress a part of yourself, it's going to overflow."

[jxnisnotfunny]

all content warnings are listed in the video and/or its description. some of the more important content warnings are listed in the tags.

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today is littlebigplanet's 15th anniversary, and i decided to burst out of the grave and shit all over it.

one of my friends, L1N3R1D3R, hosted a ytp collab to celebrate the anniversary, and i made an entry for it. this is also an official comeback for me to ytping after almost a year! it's a liiittle bit rushed and ended up being more serious than "a ytp should be" or whatever, but idc. i'd love if you guys watched it and reblogged it!

here's a little preview. just some jokes from the end of the video, nothing particularly spoiling...

psst! hey, there's more stuff below the "Keep reading" line!

-------------------------

here's the full youtube mirror of my entry:

and here's the whole collab, to whoever may be interested: