#we go with them to the bathroom bc its a special needs school and they need supervision

[blookmallow]

literally why is it even a rule in schools that you have to ask to go to the bathroom. why do teachers have the right to say no. i understand not wanting kids to just get up and leave in the middle of class without saying anything but just saying “I need to use the bathroom” should be enough. thats how it works at my school, if a student asks for the bathroom we just immediately go, no questions asked. why would you tell a kid they cant go to the bathroom or they cant go get some water. is your lesson really that important that it’ll be destroyed utterly if you have to wait for 5 minutes

[mebbrrr]

WAS IT THE BLACKFACE TIKTOK??? YOU WENT TO THAT SCHOOL??

YES. I GRADUATED A WHILE AGO BUT I KNOW HOW THAT SCHOOL FUNCTION. LITERALLY COVERS UP ANY INSTANCES OF BIGOTRY.

the first gsa club meeting was meet with gun threats. ppl saying they would wait for us at the doors. we had to leave in groups through a different door. school didnt do SHIT.

an acquaintance of mine who i graduated with had her knee broken AT HOMECOMING by a white kid who decided mexicans fucking sucked. school didnt do SHIT.

the middle school has white kids calling black kids their slaves and throwing cotton at them. school didnt do SHIT.

had a kid kill himself after being outed. school said he just passed away in his sleep. didnt do SHIT abt the ppl outing him or anything abt the ppl calling him slurs after the fact.

kid bought an app that made a whip sound effect when you shook your phone. acted like he was whipping the only black kid in class. school didnt. do. SHIT.

black special ed kid got put in in-school-detention after fighting back against a kid who called him the n slur. school literally didnt do anything abt the racist motherfucker. only punished the black kid.

casual bigotry is everywhere too. white cishet kids calling everyone around them slurs.

my friend who still attends HS was tapped on their shoulder, only to turn around and get called a fag by the kid asking for their attention.

back in the middle school, i was confronted in an ASSEMBLY by a random motherfucker sitting in front of me. i was jokingly trying to convince my friend to give me the chocolate that she had won, and he looked back at me and said “do you ever shut up???” then leaned to his friend and started whispering. turns out they had some Shit to say bc then they turned back and said “are you a boy or a girl??? which one??”

also had a blonde girl in my theatre class gush about kpop idols, saying how she loved asian guys. then asked if i was asian. i said no, that i was mexican on my dad’s side. she frowned and went “i dont like mexicans.”

ive personally gotten harassed IN THAT SCHOOL SPECIFICALLY in the library by these footballers. kept leaning over, asking if i was gay, asking Very personally inappropriate questions. calling me derogatory names. couldnt do SHIT abt it.

not to mention the treatment afab people get. ive been touched inappropriately SEVERAL times, ive gotten called a whore in middle school, someone told my friend he should rape me. thats only my experience. i know girls who have gotten their nudes airdropped in the cafeteria during lunch time, and the guys responsible had the most barebones punishment of all fucking time.

the teachers are complicit, if not contributing to the bullshit. i had a teacher in the middle school deliberately tell us to just use the right bathrooms after we watched a news segment about the fight for trans people to use the bathrooms that they need to. ive had teachers basically ban the word “gay” from their classrooms. ive heard teachers call poc “the colored folks”

but a white kid gets called a cracker and then the kid who called them that gets suspended or some shit. literally fuck that school system. im glad its getting called out.

FUCK that school system. FUCK coffee county. go follow this person. this is their new account. they got banned from bringing this shit to the light. support them in whatever way you can. i dont go to that school anymore, but the damage is already done for me. if theres anything we can do to help the folks still attending, then its worth talking about.

[erectionsandtea]

Skipping class/playing hooky headcanons!

Ships:

Lumax - these cuties skip class to go make out under the bleachers (idk why I see them doing that, I just do). that is, until they remember today is the day something special is happening, something they wouldn’t be able to do unless they skip class. (ex. special one-time screening of a movie, add a second scoop free of charge at the ice cream parlor, a parade or festival or something that takes up the whole block)

Byler - a while back, our boys found a secret room somewhere in the school, and they skip a boring/terrible class to go to this room that they have declared officially their own (if Mr. Clarke didn’t disapprove of cutting, he would just lend them a room) and just hang out. Mike would write and Will would draw pictures to go along with the writings bc they are totally going to release a comic book one day (based on their DnD adventures)

Elmax - they arrive at school, only to hang back behind everybody else, walking really slow, and when the halls are deserted, they turn around and go back out (because it’s more exciting when you have to sneak around). El is like “why do we ditch?” and Max is like “because we can, duh.” and then they just go wherever and do whatever they want, real spontaneous. excessive amounts of hand-holding and/or linked arms (just a lot of touching, okay)

Duzie - they just skip school altogether to literally go exploring in the woods (bc Hawkins is somehow surrounded by woods apparently). they find a cool lizard and Dustin totally wants to catch it, but he doesn’t have a free container, so they have to empty one of their food containers. then they go to the library to find books about lizards and do research on what to feed it and how to keep it content until they can show it to Mr. Clarke (they will release the lizard after)

Mileven - they wait until it’s the time that all the adults will be at work, and then they bike back home (her on the back, just like they used to). the house is empty so they get free rein to do whatever they want. this includes, but is not limited to: watching movies/tv, embarrassing karaoke, and not-always successful cooking experiments (at least one with waffles). they need to go to the store though to buy more chocolate bc they don’t have enough and El loves chocolate. they end up buying too much stuff, seriously like Mike’s whole allowance is gone lol. also just lying together, cuddling, occasionally talking about something, but mostly just enjoying the moment.

Friendships:

Will/El - they totally play hooky to sneak into a movie. something pg-13, or R if they’re feeling especially daring. if Steve and Robin still worked at the movie theater, he’d disapprove like the good mother he is, but she would let them in the back way AND sneak them free movie snacks (bc you know Robin totally did things like this when she was in school)

Mike/Max - they do something “rebellious”. not actually rebellious, but like Max heard about Mike graffitiing the bathroom stall that one time, and is like “so rebellious.” and Mike is like “like you’ve ever done anything that badass.” and she’s like “watch me, bitch.” and so they end up...idk, loitering or something. going to a store and taking literally every free sample. maybe sneaking into some “off limits” room in the school. you know. rebels.

Max/Dustin - arcade, obvsly. constantly competing. every time one of them gets a high score, the other will race over and immediately try to top it. at the end of the day, there are no arcade games left with anyone other than her or him in the ‘top players/high scores’ list.

BONUS:

Dustin takes the whole party to some abandoned place that he swears is haunted (that’s what he heard, anyway). hear me out, Dustin is smart, yes, but I totally don’t peg him as a skeptic, that’s Lucas. it’s like-

“who even told you this place is haunted?”

“jeremy, from math class”

“you’re dragging us all to this potentially dangerous place on jeremy’s word??”

“I’m telling you, he totally saw something”

“he totally didnt’! because ghosts. don’t. exist.”

“look, I’m not saying for sure that they exist, but you have to admit there’s some weird shit that can’t be explained”

“that doesn’t mean it’s a ghost!”

meawhile, Max just leans over to Will and is like “this is still better than school” and Will is like “yeah” and then “hey, are we going or what?”

(I’ll put the rest of this in its own post :) )

~

send any ideas or requests to  my askbox, or feel free to add your own on this post! let me know if you want to be tagged in the headcanons.

[unbridgeabledistances]

here is a part 2 of my valentine’s day one-shot from the other day!! part 3 of them actually celebrating is coming fri, but wanted to make it a lil countdown:) also big creds to @udontfuckangie for their post about ian getting mickey stargazer lilies for valentines bc it… truly made me feel so many things and i had to write this

--

Ian didn’t really remember ever celebrating Valentine’s Day for real— not like everyone else in middle school or high school, like when Lip was off buying flowers for girls or Mandy was trying to get the guy she liked to ask her out— but he definitely remembered celebrating it as a kid, when he’d have to scrounge up some shoebox from under his bed and bring it to his overcrowded classroom to cover with colorful construction paper and make shitty valentines to swap with his friends. Those were the days when Frank was around some, and so was Monica— he remembered one year, when he was maybe 5 or 6, when Monica was there and he had come home with a thin pink slip of paper from his teacher saying that he needed to bring in valentines for his class. Monica had whisked him down the street to the dollar store where they’d ransacked the rickety shelves of all the art supplies they could carry, and then they sat at the kitchen table for hours gluing glitter to cut-out hearts.

So maybe that’s why Ian’s heart had melted last Sunday, when Franny had mentioned that she needed to buy valentines for her class at school— Ian knew it was stupid, or whatever, but he knew how far a few solid childhood memories could go in this neighborhood, how those types of moments were the stuff you lived on for years afterwards when things got harder and darker. So while he’d been caught up in so much shit lately, for a couple of hours on that Sunday afternoon all Ian wanted was for Franny to soak up that feeling like a sponge—to make memories with her like the good ones that he’d had with Monica, the ones that stood out and burned in his chest like a hot branding iron when he remembered them.

And then a yawning, sleep-soft Mickey had stumbled into the kitchen, and the three of them were nestled beside each other at the table doing fucking arts and crafts; and for some reason it made Ian’s blood run hotter than usual, and got him thinking about how fuck it, he wanted to give Mickey a Valentine’s Day this year— not in the weird, heteronormative bullshit way, but in the way that he could just kind of… show Mickey how much he meant to him, how Mickey still made his heart feel like it was going to explode out of his ribcage even after the years they’d been together. This was the longest time that he and Mickey had ever been together consecutively, the longest time they’d slept side by side before something dark curled its fingers around them and pulled them apart, and he wanted to do something to acknowledge that— something to start their forever, as fucking cheesy as that sounded.

Of course, Mickey had no concept of Valentine’s Day or any of that shit, which made the whole thing all the more perfect— Ian wanted to catch him off guard, wanted to pull them both out of the funk that had been hovering over them for the months after the wedding, when everything turned brittle and stale once the bills started to pile up. They were better now—or at least they were trying to be— but it still meant something that half of their time being married had been spent navigating a fucking global pandemic and squabbling with each other and barely making ends meet.

So now it was the day before Valentine’s Day, and Ian was standing on a busy Chicago street corner in the bitter cold, watching the bundled passersby briskly walk by to scramble inside and stave off the chill. Ian hadn’t been to this neighborhood since his days working at the club, or maybe once or twice when he was hanging out with people from the youth center; the pristine glass storefronts with minimalist displays nearly blinded Ian’s eyes after the past ten months of being accustomed to the crumbling paint-chipped architecture of the South Side. But he was here on a mission; in front of him stood the high-end, boujee as fuck florist’s shop, one of the top-rated ones in the city according to the quick search he’d plugged into his phone.

Ian normally didn’t give a shit about stuff like this— to him, a flower was a flower, and a chair for a wedding was just a goddamn chair— but he knew Mickey, for some reason this sappy shit was a whole lot more important to him, no matter how hard Mickey tried to hide it. All the symbols and the fanfare meant something to Mickey—it meant that they’d made it, that they got to have a normal fucking life together, beyond both of their wildest dreams. So if Ian had to brave a stupid, gentrifying flower shop on a chilly Friday afternoon to make Mickey happy, then that was what he was going to do.

A soft bell tinkled as Ian entered the shop, immediately surrounded by the nearly-bare shelves of minimalist bouquets. The store was incredibly cramped and narrow, with overly-peppy music playing low, and was packed tight with wire-rimmed glasses wearing, re-usable bag toting hipsters standing in a line all the way to the counter. Shit. This line was going to take all day—and who the fuck knew if they even had what Ian was looking for? A looming pang of desperation started to churn in the pit of his stomach as he lurked by the doorway. Fuck it, he had to do this.

Before Ian really processed what he was doing he was quickly darting past the line, getting a series of dirty looks from everyone he shuffled by.

“S’cuse me, coming through, floral emergency.”

Finally, he reached the counter, sliding in beside some girl in her mid-twenties with a punk haircut. “Uh, sorry, can I just ask if they have what I’m looking for real quick?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “If you’re desperate enough to cut the fucking line, I’d say you’re worse off than I am. Men are fucking clueless.”

Ian nearly grimaced, but tried to twist his face into a soft, grateful smile. “Thank you.” He turned to the cashier at the counter, a dude with a man bun and a floral button-up shirt who looked pretty amused by this whole situation.

“It’s the day before Valentine’s Day, honey. Everyone here is in a floral emergency.” The cashier sighed, looking Ian up and down appraisingly. “What’re you looking for?”

“Uh. I think they’re called… stargazer lilies? The ones that bloom at a specific time, or something? We were supposed to have them at my wedding, but then the venue got burnt down by my husband’s homophobic father, so we kind of had to pull the whole wedding thing together on short notice— it’s kind of a long story, but I really, really need to get these flowers for Valentine’s Day.” Ian leaned in close over the counter, hoping he didn’t look too desperate. “It’s our first one together and it’s been a fucking shitty year and it would just— it would mean a lot.”

Ian finally exhaled, and hoped by some miracle that this cashier, or someone in the fucking universe, would take pity on him.

The cashier pulled his glasses down to the bridge of his nose, tapping away at the iPad on the counter before glancing up. “Hmm. I’m sorry honey, you’re fresh out of luck. Those lilies bloom in the summer mostly, and no one around here really has them. You could maybe check one of the little flower shops down the street, they do special orders and stuff this time of year—but I’ll be honest, I don’t know if you’re gonna get these flowers by tomorrow.”

Ian felt disappointment bubble up inside him. Of fucking course there were none of these obscure flowers in Chicago the day before Valentine’s Day— he’d had this grand idea of giving Mickey a perfect Valentine’s Day, of starting off on the right foot, and he still put this shit off until the last minute and couldn’t give Mickey what he deserved. Mickey would’ve never made this mistake.

Ian cleared his throat. “Shit. Well, uh, thanks anyways.”

He turned, heading for the door and getting ready to be assaulted by the bitter cold again. Okay, there were a couple flower marts down the street, he could try that— but he had a sinking feeling that the results would be the same, that he’d be left empty-handed tomorrow with nothing to give.

Okay. Focus. I’ve gotta plan a bunch of shit for Valentine’s Day by tomorrow.

What would Mickey do?

**

The flat drone of the dial tone made Mickey’s head buzz, the same dull vibration he’d heard dozens of times that week. Finally, he heard the click of someone answering.

“Hello, this is Sizzlers, how may I help you?”

“Hi, it’s, uh, it’s Mickey Milkovich. Again. I’m just checking in one more time to make sure we’re all good for tomorrow?”

There was a silence on the other end of the line, like the hostess was taking a moment to compose herself. “Yes, Mr. Milkovich. Since this is the… seventh time you’ve checked in in the past week, I believe, everything has definitely been arranged as you requested.”

Mickey cleared his throat. “Uh, good. Thanks. We’ll be there for our reservation at 8.”

He clicked his phone off and flung it down onto the bed. It had been nearly a week since he’d decided he was going to try to give Ian some kind of Valentine’s Day like the normal fucking couple Ian wanted to be, but he had to admit, this shit was hard work; he had to think of the perfect place he wanted them to go, had to call and make a reservation and arrange everything perfectly— and then there was the matter of deciding what to get Ian, because apparently married people also got each other fucking gifts on Valentine’s Day, which sounded like overkill to him. He’d been scrolling through Buzzfeed “Valentine’s Day Gift” lists for the better part of the afternoon, and even snuck some of Debbie’s chick magazines into the bathroom to sift through articles like “Ten Things to Get Your Man for Valentine’s Day” or “Best V-Day Gifts for Newlyweds.” Finally, after fucking days of plans stirring in the back of his mind, Mickey finally thought he had all of the pieces together; the reservation was made, the timing was set, and he’d even stopped by some fancy fucking chocolate shop on the other side of town on the way home from the Alibi earlier that afternoon.

Everything was planned—now there was just one thing left to do.

Mickey grabbed the crumpled piece of paper he’d set on the bedside table, the one he’d been staring at all week. Fuck it. He grabbed a discarded pen from the windowsill, from the collection of pencils that Ian kept next to his notebooks.

Mickey sighed as he put the pen to the paper. Now comes the hard part.

part 1 is here! and part 3 is here!

[drabbles-of-writing]

Okay now you have to tell us what the siblings did to the Blight manor.

SOMEONE ASKED!!

well, first of all, they tear that bitch to the GROUND. it was during the first four years when they raid the place to grab Amity’s stuff and Dip Out. whole family was there while the parents were out at some meeting. came back to rooms on fire and over half of their belongings missing. they fixed it all up, obviously, but it was a HUGE talk for a while.

but what I really meant was when the twins inherited the manor. Something happens to the Blight parents, haven’t decided on if the bitches just died or moved away, and they suddenly own their old home. They rip out anything that has anything to do with their parents, change color schemes, furniture, all that and either chuck it in the trash or the darkest depths of the basement and set it ablaze. Burning the past away motherfuckers. And then, when all that’s done, they change the name. They thought about it for a while and eventually decided on the name; the Raven House. It was a joke between them, and also to tick off Lilith, but the name stuck. They even gave her a tiny picture above the door to solidify it. Eda still insists the Owl House is better than any big manor.

Once everything is finished and the manor is re-made, the ex-Blight’s all come to an agreement on what to do with it, since they all already had their own places and didn’t feel like moving into the house they were abused in. They say a final ‘fuck you’ to their parents and make it one big safehouse. By which I mean it’s like a shelter. Kids or young witches and humans alike (though the humans are just kids wandering by after getting in a fight with a monster or the older graduated kids when they need a little assistance) can come and stay in the Raven House to be safe and secured for however long they need.

Barcus is in charge of the place, and he looks after any kids who come along no matter the background. Some kids only stay for 24 hours, others stay for months, sometimes a few years, on end.  These are typically kids who have nowhere else to go or are on the run. We’ve got kids from the Isles, stowaways from other islands and even The Mainland, kids escaping abusive homes, orphans, kids who just need a break after getting lost/hurt nearby, the works. It’s a well-known place that’s completely free, since the Blight’s and even Lilith on occasion pay the taxes for it. It’s sweet for Barcus because he’s supplied with everything for free, but also hell because he has to deal with a bunch of kids on a daily basis. Luckily for him, he likes kids.

Course some witches or humans don’t understand Barcus, so he always has a chalkboard and chalk around his neck that he can hover in the air with his magic to write to the kids and help them learn how to understand him. If they can’t read, he usually has to call in one of the other kids in the House to help him out. No matter how long a kid stays, they are asked to carve their names on a large stone outside the manor. It used to be a statue in the front lawn the ex-Blight kids knocked over and left there, but it was repurposed. It’s littered with names and it’s not uncommon to find Barcus staring at the names or teaching some kids to read by having them read the names off the stone.

Now, the manor is big. It can easily house multiple packs of kids. But the thing is, it only has 6 bedrooms, and Barcus uses one of the smaller ones. Of course multiple kids could live in the same room, but there are some that need it more than others and aren’t comfortable with other kids. So the bigger bedrooms are saved for those kids (unless there’s an open spare one in which case it gets SWARMED) or Barcus asks the new kid to set up their stuff anywhere in the house, so long it didn’t interfere with others. Which leads to kids sleeping and hanging out in....interesting places. There’s always someone living in one of the bathrooms, three kids minimum at all times squirreling away in the closets (small and large), there’s a pile of pillows and blankets in the second dining room where kids hang out under the table, the big hallways have sleeping bags in them, some kid hid in one of the larger kitchen cabinets just because she could, there are SO MANY in the basement and attic, the library has all the nerds vibing on the bolted-down wall shelves and balconies, and one madlad set up a hut on the roof. Barcus isn’t happy with any of these but he supposes so long they don’t hurt themselves or own up to it being a bad idea later, he’ll deal with it. 

They also offer to send plenty of these kids to school (usually Hexside but sometimes others), but there are a few who refuse it and Barcus homeschools them. The rule of thumb with anyone who stays in the Raven House is that you WILL be smothered in an intense amount of Found Family and you CANNOT stop them. It’s a mad house and it’s glorious. They have their own kinds of memes and vines in that house and it’s law that if someone says “pubby” then EVERYONE in the vicinity has to tackle Barcus in a cuddle pile.

Others of the Owl Family often drop by as well. The first few times were a mess cause Barcus had to explain this was his family and no you don’t have to come down and say hi if you’re uncomfortable but please stop losing it every time Edric comes by we know he’s a fashion extraordinaire please- Camilia is one of the most common visitors, and the kids call her Aunt Camilia (a name she would vividly remember from her time in the human realm) and she teaches them all how to cook and tell them stories from the human realm. Barcus is very thankful because he needs one stable adult to help him with these kids. All the ex-Blights visit as well, though Amity slightly less because she’s so busy. Edric arrives just to show off, and Emira is a lot more refined n checks in on the kids, since her job is a children’s health care worker. Granted, Barcus does a pretty good job of being their therapist, he got a degree for a reason. Amity is a treat visit, because there’s always someone who knows she’s the Empress’s advisor and they all gawk at her for a minute before realizing she’s a shy dork n have fun info dumping on her bc she listens to them with rapt interest. Gus is a fun show, often taking down notes of the theatre kids and showing off his illusion magic, acting as his own little inspiration to them by being one of the best in his grade despite being significantly younger. He also tells his theories of the human realm which are still off and need to be corrected by Camilia. Willow is a lot more sweeter n is like the grandma who gives you too much candy but is also not afraid to beat someones ass. She’s one of the few adults All the kids respect. Luz is fun because she gives adventures and shows off a lot. And kids are always in awe at her tattoos and scars. Of course, Luz still has dumbass ideas every once in a while and ends up getting kicked out early in her visit on occasion. She showed kids how to swallow a light spell. Lilith shows up at least once a month for a little bit, and the kids always LOSE IT. At first it was genuine shock but eventually they just did it for fun because they knew it made Lilith embarrassed. Eda...god Eda is a visit kids are either excited for or dreading, depends if you can put up with her energy. Eda usually shows up when she’s bored, hiding from the cops or needs to steal something from the Raven House. She’s the weird eccentric grandma of everyone and she adores the kids. Her showing up often either ends in something catching on fire or a couple of kids getting in trouble with the law, which Eda or Barcus can easily snatch them out of. Y’all know of the Life Changing Field Trip With Zuko? Eda has a very similar thing where she grabs a gaggle of kids and takes them on an adventure, but it usually ends up looking like chores. Either way it ends up in either giving the kid some Advice they needed or just changing a way they think based on the adventures they get up to. When she gets much older and crankier, she slows down a bit but never stops having bad ideas or advice, but it’s a lot easier for the calmer kids to talk to her.

Barcus keeps all the trinkets the kids give him and holds them in a special room only he can access, like the passageways in Hexside. He cares about all the kids who come to the Raven House, even if its only for a little while. He’s still a dog at heart. A lot of kids he hears from a few months or years after they leave. They’ll call or show up and tell him how they are. And whenever they do he makes time to sit down with them with tea and listen to all they have to say. Even if they only visit once, he’s glad to see them. But, of course, there are the kids he never hears from. The ones who don’t want to, the ones who are too busy, the ones who moved off the Isle and elsewhere, the ones who get lost out there in the world, and the ones who have died. But Barcus almost never learns what their fate was. He’ll have nights where he sits in his room filled with trinkets or by the rock with names and wonder what happened to them, and hoping that they’re okay and happy. But he doesn’t have time to think about that. He has new kids coming in all the time, he should focus on them, not the past. That’s what he tells himself.

[muwur]

long distance headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for daichi, suga, hinata & tsukki

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.5k words

a/n: hello yall this is my first post! nobody asked, but i just started this haikyuu reader insert blog, feel free to check my page n see wazzap. also requests are open pls come fhorfjepfiwf;

daichi

✧ after high school, he stayed in miyagi while you went to tokyo, about 5 hours away, for college

✧ texting or calling whenever u can!

✧ you be like “heyyy”

✧ then he clap back with a “go focus on your lecture”

✧ “im not in lectureee”

✧ “you gave me your schedule so i know you’re in the middle of class”

✧ “...”

✧ makes sure you’re awake on time for your classes and calls you if he thinks you’re oversleeping (and hes usually right, this man just KNOWS)

✧ “morning y/n, i think you need to get to class soon”

✧ “mmrghhhghhh” *checks time* “holy sHI-- i forgot to set my alarm. IMMA BE LATE. THANKS DAICHI I LOVE YOU ILL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE”

✧ definitely skips out on some nights out with his friends to video chat you. you catch up, talk about future plans, reminisce, complain about not being able to hug one another, etc. occasionally one of you falls asleep on call, particularly after a long day or week. if he sleeps, you make sure you screenshot his sleeping face and start a picture collection  

✧ you hit him up when you get drunk lMAO

✧ “daiichiii, i miss youuu, i needdd youuuu AND i needa peeee---” “hey daichi, this is y/n’s friend. y/n’s pretty out of it now but they’ll be okay! we’re heading back to our place right now” “im gonna pEE IN THIS CAR”

✧ daichi coordinates with your friends to make sure you arrive home safely, use the bathroom, and get tucked into bed. he thanks the universe you have good friends. if it weren’t for them he’d probs have a heart attacc. sends you cute, reassuring voice messages for you to wake up to the next morning with hangover tips he learned from suga

✧ always checks in with you throughout the day, every day. able to pick up on the slightest hints if you’re feeling unwell and calls you immediately to try to make you feel better

✧ makes plans to visit you! you get really excited to introduce him to your college friends (who, after meeting him, tell you not only is he a hottie but is such a kind guy, fosho a keeper. they also ask if he has any cute friends)

✧ either holding your hand or has an arm around you most of the time.

✧ you spend all day together outside and wandering the city, then spend the night back at your place (sorry roommate, but we’re gonna have to kick you out for a lil bit--)    

sugawara

✧ you finally secured a job! unfortunately, the company required you to work for a year at their main facility, which was a 4 hour drive away from miyagi

✧ if suga wasn’t needed in miyagi for his teaching job, he would’ve tried to come with you

✧ after unloading your things in your new apartment and before parting ways, suga was like

✧ “everything’s unloaded everything from the car?”

✧ “yes maam”

✧ “do you have enough snacks?”

✧ “we just went to the grocery hun”

✧ “did you bring enough underwear?”

✧ “gDI yEs I dID”

✧ “:c promise to call me often”

✧ “<3333 of course”</p>

✧ good morning texts before y’all leave for work! you send each other cute pictures when you’re getting ready for the day (suga with bedhead, brushing his teeth? suga with his tie half done?? sign me up)

✧ always texts you when something reminds him of you, usually sends a picture along with it

✧ “the store was having a special on oranges today! this one reminds me of you”

✧ “why”

✧ “it just looks so cute~”

✧ will immediately call you if you send him any sort of message that worries him

-“hello? y/n what’s wrong, why is there blood?? speak to me, you haven’t replied in 5 minutes”

✧ “ohhh my bad, i’m just cleaning up don’t worry! i didn’t explain, but the picture i sent you isn’t blood, it’s ketchup i spilled on myself lolol”

✧ poor man nearly fainted from worry

✧ would pay you a surprise visit, making sure to plan it carefully so he knew you weren’t busy with work or plans. brings you gifts of your favorite snacks and a scarf that matches one of his own for the upcoming winter

✧ plans out that weekend for y’all, mans did his research beforehand. together, you toured the city and the surrounding nature, took lots of selfies (and many candids of you), and taste tested lots of foods before returning to your apartment and collapsing into your bed with exhaustion

✧ but y’all not too tired for cuddling n a lil something else >.>

hinata

✧ sure, being a couple hours away was hard for some... but y’all in different countries right now

✧ calls you immediately when there’s any inconvenience that occurs in his life, no matter how minor, thinking you’ll know how to fix it (or at least give him the reassurance he needs)

✧ “hey y/n...”

✧ “what’s wrong? you sound worried”

✧ “i broke my bike, what do i do”

✧ “you what? are you alright?? how? where are you? it’s midnight there, honey”

✧ “i was biking back to my apartment after staying late to practice! i didn’t wanna hit this turtle, so i swerved into a pole and now my bike’s wrecked :**”

✧ “ahh, are you okay?? you’re not hurt are you :(”

✧ “no, im okay... but im tired and i have two miles to go ;(((”

✧ “;( im sorry babe but you gotta walk home. we’ll get you a new bike. ill stay on the phone with you until you get back. tell me about your day <3″</p>

✧ talks about you all the time to his friends! introduces you through video chat to them! “look how pretty and cute y/n is!”

✧ together you work out your time differences and busy schedules so you can chat whenever possible

✧ he lets you know whenever he bought something for you, but never shows it to you because he’s excited to see your reaction in person when you reunite

✧ always asks you to send him pictures of yourself, he wants to see what you look like everyday he’s missing you in real life

✧ you surprise visit HIM. he’s so happy he could cry. shows you around every place he loves, shows you off to everyone he knows, holds your hand the entire time and never wants to let go, is practically glued to you not that you mind  

✧ you spend your last night together lying in the grass, hand in hand, looking at the stars and sharing sweet kisses  

tsukishima

✧ y’all went to separate universities. while he stayed relatively close to miyagi, you went across the country to okinawa, which was about a 3 hour flight away

✧ he sees all the couples around campus n becomes lowkey bitter, texts you immediately about gross pda like hand holding that he secretly wishes he could do with you “these people in relationships are too happy, i didn’t ask to see them gawk at each other all day” “u just miss me lmao”

✧ once overheard a convo on a shuttle at school that went like :

✧ person 1: “ugh, he’s so cute”

✧ person 2: “why dont you go out with him??”

✧ person 1: “i dunno, his dorm’s down the street, i can’t really do long distance”

✧ nANI (by the way, this is a irl conversation my friend overheard, oml)

✧ tsukki nearly choked on his morning coffee

✧ bothers texts you in class bc he’s bored and in need of your attention

✧ “hey tsukki this prof’s lectures are rlly dense, i needa focus, ill text u after”

✧ “but arent i more interesting than rocks”

✧ “trust me, id even rather watch some dino documentaries with you than be here”

✧ *read*

✧ likes to chat with you most nights as he lies in bed before going to sleep, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to your voice through his headphones. usually just talking about how your days went (as if you weren’t texting all day) or just casual talk and banter

✧ you remind him to make sure he’s taking care of himself and eating well

✧ “who are you? my mother?”

✧ “no but you’re about to be single”

✧ surprise visits you, tells you it was yamaguchi’s idea when it was really his own and yamaguchi was just teasing him about it  

✧ you show him around the city, sharing what you know about its rich history and culture. you visit most areas you both wanted to see before calling it a day

✧ your roommate conveniently spends that night over at their friend’s they just wanna give you alone time, which y’all very much needed. you make it a note to repay your roommate somehow.

✧ sweet lovin that he’s been missing, then some spooning as you sleep    

a/n: just wanna tackle these about 4 characters at a time but if u wanna see this headcanon w/ other characters feel free to hmu w/ an ask <3<b> also sorry if i text type a lot and that im inconsistent with my apostrophes, let me know if that’s something you want me to fix! 

[vic-chaos]

ok on the special.... I’ve only seen it once and some bits cut out from bad connection, so I might have more to say tomorrow when I've rewatched and been able to pay closer attention. But here is my jumble of thoughts so far (under cut for spoilers):

okay.......... the ending fucked me up so badly that its hard for me to focus on anything else jsjdsjdjsd.... so i’ll talk about that first 😭

my main issue is that I don’t really understand why they broke them up at the end despite everything, especially after it seemed they had reunited??? like when they finally got the vaccines to the teachers and Cartman had that line about how “their broship could survive anything”.... it felt so much like that was the resolution and they were back together. But then the final scene came out nowhere anyway, why?? 😭 it makes no sense to resolve something then unresolve it at the last second?

I don’t think they will stay split up though... I’m sure it will get fixed eventually. It’s too sad, and also wouldn’t make sense for the show in general to keep them apart??? My first guess is that the next season (hopefully a season and not another special) will be beginning the process to get them back together. I think one possibility might be that as soon as they start going off with different friend groups they will realise it’s not the same and that they miss each other too much....... or another possibility might be Kenny intervening? Because even though they were trying to do everything for whats best for him, they never actually consulted him about any of it?? Plus even though they were putting him in the role of their child for the sake of the joke, he is actually the most emotionally mature of the boys. So I wonder...

That said though the stylennyman content is still making me scream, Cartman bringing his boyfriends to couples therapy.......... and (even if they got “divorced” by the end ;_; ) the way it was framed as if Stan/Kyle/Cartman were married is gonna be making me crazy for weeks jsdsjdjsdjsjdjs, all of Cartman’s dad/husband behaviour with the custody schedules PLEASE lmao.....

And the kenman at the beginning with them being little shits together jsdnsdsdjsd I love them so much aaaaaah.... I need to add that scene to my compilation video of kenman laughing super hard at each other’s jokes while everyone else is like 😐 lmaooo

Ok I have been complaining a lot, but OVERALL I thought it was actually really good and I loved it actually. The very last scene like obliterated my heart, but everything before that was so good, and we got SO MUCH good main 4 content fucking finally 🥺 I’m so happy to see them joining forces again and being adventurous. And we even got more Kenny screentime too!!

The jokes were legit funny and I think it made me laugh more and was just generally better written and just overall better than SP has been in a while. I’m relieved they didn’t depict qanon as being sympathetic in any way (since I made some posts before worried abt that lmao... and I forgive Butters for being part of it bc all he wanted was be out of his house/away from his dad and didn't care what they believed as long as he could escape, so it didn’t mean anything jsjdsmdsdsd) I’m also glad we have confirmation that Cartman would never believe in like the alt right or any of that garbage, so please no more depicting him as any kind of n*zi in fics ever again thanks 🙏

The scene with the 4th wall break and all of the animation stuff was really good too, it was wild omg.... also all of the little cameos and stuff at the end, I’m weirdly so happy to see background visitors again omg!!! It reminds me of old school SP 🥺 I did straight up think Stuart and Kanye were gonna make out for a second though LMAO

UHHHHH a few other things:

There were some scenes from the trailer that didnt appear in the special??? Cartman threatening Stephen and him giving that speech in the boy’s bathroom..... I wonder what happened to those, cut for time maybe? Give me the buttman content 😭 they better release that as a deleted scene 😤

Garrison..... IDK........ I know some people are happy to see him back but I hate him so I’m kind of 🥴 about it, though he was more tolerable in this ep than normal so maybe he’ll be ok in the future lmfao.

And finally...................................... NO RANDY!! 🎉 We did it guys. I’m actually kind of surprised they didn’t try to resolve any of his storylines that were left open or anything lmao, but I also don’t care about him at all so god bless.... we finally got a break 😔🙏

[stonerz4sokka]

the gaang (& co.) on zoom

aang: ALWAYS mixes up his class times and it isn’t until sokka helps build his schedule and set reminders on aang's phone that he actually shows up to the right class at the right time, always excited to be there but is constantly getting distracted by the littlest things (doesn’t help that his window is behind his computer), isn’t afraid to tell the teacher when the hw assigned is too much (the whole class thanks him for that), types jokes in the class chat, wears his appa print pajamas to class everyday, motivates people to stay optimistic during these ‘troubling times’ (and it works)

katara: wears sweatpants and a crewneck everyday but NEVER forgets to do her hair, talks shit about the ugly white girls in their class (some are sokka’s exes) with zuko, wants to do pranks with toph but is too scared of getting caught (though she eventually does a few),  takes the lead in breakout rooms bc she can’t stand the awkward silence although if aang is there they’ll both be very distracting, will literally laugh on camera every time she hears a stupid comment, gives emotional speeches to help motivate her classmates which are well-intentioned but come off as a little preachy :/ people still try though bc they weirdly don’t want to disappoint her, refuses to let a man interrupt her so she will continue talking even if their voices are overlapping for a good 20 secs 

sokka: has an insane amount of reminders, alarms and organizational tools on his phone and computer so he doesn’t forget to go to class, he tries so hard to focus but ends up doing something that’s completely unrelated yet still educational, wears his same dumbass science pun t-shirts to class but he has his hair down more which makes the white girls in his class go crazy, starts all his sentences with ‘i think’ or ‘maybe we should’, tried to be clever once by setting a video on loop for his zoom background so the teacher didnt know he went to the bathroom but forgot to mute himself so the entire class heard him pee :(( his teachers enjoy him more in a zoom setting bc he's less of a distraction but they hate how he never stays on topics and asks questions they dont have the answer to, whenever katara sees him getting increasingly neurotic she’ll send him links to cool small businesses and they’ll ignore their classes n go online shopping together 

zuko: always looks tired and grumpy even when he’s well rested, his camera is at 256p even when he has the newest macbook (azula messed w his computer & he still hasn't realized), extremely paranoid around accidentally unmuting himself so he just never talks, cannot figure out zoom and never screen shares for projects bc it takes him 15 mins every. time. is weird in breakout rooms because he's bad at social situations but he's trying!!! he could try harder tho :/ is able to empathize well with his fellow classmates n tries to lift their spirits (it rarely works but the effort feels nice), the teacher once saw him scream and punch his desk during the desmos activity and sent iroh an email about local therapists who specialize in anger management, spends his breaks between classes crying 

toph: she will pick her nose, eat food, clip her toenails, do anything gross on camera to get back at her history teacher who told her she needs to be more ladylike, is actually cool in breakout rooms she seems like she would be super distracting but she would complain about the shitty teachers n provide insightful thoughts for the discussion/assignment at hand, does her zoom classes in her backyard so she could play with bugs, gives very helpful advice for maintaining ones sanity during online learning

suki: is always wrapped up in her blankets to the point where u can barely see her face, eats on camera & doesn't realize that no one wants to see that shit, she laughs at all the teachers' bad jokes bc she genuinely thinks they're funny, refuses to let sokka outperform in zoom learning so she does actually pay attention although it doesn't look like it, is really chill in breakout rooms n pretends she doesn't really care but will edit the work after class so it fits her expectations, she once farted in the middle of when she was talking and just pretended like she it didn't happen, actually is fine with online learning and likes the flexibility and doesn’t get why sokka is spiraling all the time :// 

azula: oh god, she wears entire outfits with khakis and polos and SHOES!!! for her zoom meetings!!! she. wears. shoes. her hair is always perfect, tries WAY too hard and everyone knows when she wants to speak in class bc she literally starts vibrating on camera, one time someone won a debate against her in class and she turned off her camera for a good 3 minutes, when she turned it back on her eyes were watery and her entire face was red, doesn't understand how people are underperforming over zoom, has the second highest gpa in the school (after sokka) and managed to convince herself he is actively trying to ruin her life but he's just........ sitting there. constantly messes with zuko's google calendar so he's late for class, can clearly see the art of war by sun tzu on her bookshelf in the background

mai: yawns on camera whenever azula talks just to piss her off, doesn't talk often because her teachers & peers underestimate her but she's smart and when she does talk it's always something rlly insightful, one time her and ty lee were paired with jet for a project where he spent the whole time 'explaining' the topics at hand while they did the entire project on another tab and pretended to pay attention to him, tom tom will sometimes join her during class bc he misses her n she acts like she hates it but she does love spending time with him, is actually secretly extremely anxious about maintaining her grades during online learning but only sokka and ty lee can tell, her and sokka gossip through heavily layered inside jokes that only the two of them understand

ty lee: built a completely new daily schedule and organizational system the minute she learned they were switching to zoom, is always ready for class 20 mins before it starts but joins the zoom 2 minutes after class started so no one thinks she’s an overachiever, a great student but she waits too long to speak in class so she barely joins in on the discussions, is seemingly the regular ty lee but every so often she’ll pretend to go to the bathroom & turn off her camera to recollect herself bc she’s always on edge :/, would have the best gpa in the school but doesn’t want to seem intimidating so she purposefully scores lower on certain assignments so she has a 3.75 gpa, 

jet: he tries to subtly vape during class by turning off camera his camera but its really obvious bc when he comes back he’s coughing and waving the smoke out the air, only participates in breakout rooms when the teacher comes in and immediately turns off his camera when they leave, staged a kidnapping during one of his lectures as an elaborate prank but no one cared noticed, someone else recorded the prank and posted it on tiktok where it blew up & all the comments were insulting him, he didn’t care though because ‘there’s no such thing as bad clout’

chan & ruon-jian: has not gone to a single one of their zoom classes sober (honestly barely attend), still tried throwing houseparties even when the cases were at their peak, tried to one-up jet's kidnapping prank by calling SWAT on themselves but ended up getting arrested because they forgot to hide their stash (they sell counterfeit juul pods), worst part was that their prank only got 250 views on yt :(

[bwemph]

Secrets

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Request: @cherrykarts Could I get a Peter Parker x shy reader where Pete breaks things off bc he doesn’t want to see her hurt, but when he goes to the avengers tower it turns out she’s an avenger and she’s crying and stuff with Wanda and fluffy happy end? Idk

Word count: 2,400

Summary: After breaking up with Peter, you go to Wanda for comfort. When Peter shows up at the Compound unexpectedly, it turns out you both have secrets to share.

Warnings: Mild angst, light swearing, Peter being an absolute dork :)

A/N: This is a fic from my old blog Purpleocity. All future fics will be posted here at bwemph :)

“I just…I don’t think this is going to work.”

Your heart dropped, tears already threatening to spill over. Your brows furrowed. Why was Peter being like this? You two had been together for six months now. What changed? Everything was fine until just recently. He got that “Stark Internship” and he started acting all strange, now he’s breaking up with you out of nowhere? It just didn’t make sense.

“Peter, what do you mean ‘this isn’t going to work’?” Your voice shook a little as your crossed your arms. You leaned back against his wall, sinking a little further into his mattress. Your thoughts raced back through everything you could have done wrong, but it was all little stuff. Things that shouldn’t have mattered. You thought everything was going fine between the two of you.

“It’s just…It’s really complicated.” He reached out to you in order to take your hand, but you pulled it away, your vision blurring with tears. You bit your lip to keep back the sob that hitched your breath.

You shook your head. “’It’s complicated’? What’s gotten into you?” You asked as you stood up. He stood to meet you. “You’ve been acting so weird lately. You’re always disappearing. And you’ve been at least ten minutes late to almost every single one of our dates in the last month!” He opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off. “Just the other day I came over after school like you asked me to and you weren’t even here. Aunt May said she didn’t know where you were either. What, is there someone else? Are you…” You faltered a little, your heart dropping even further. You didn’t even want to say it for fear of the answer being yes, “…are you cheating on me?”

“Y/n, please just let me explain.” He took your hand again. You shirked away as he tried to hug you. You turned away, watching his reflection in the mirror with stone cold eyes. Your phone buzzed, and you glanced down.

Tony Stark: We’ve got a situation. Get here as soon as you can.

You cursed under your breath, looking back up at Peter. “I have to go.” You pushed past him.

“Wha- Y/n, please,” he practically begged, reluctantly letting go of your hand as you crossed the room to open his door. “Don’t go.”

“I gotta. I’ll–I’ll see you at school.”

You closed his door behind yourself a little harder than you’d intended, lowering your head as you made for the apartment door.

“You’re not staying for dinner?” May asked as she looked up from a mixing bowl. “I’m making your favorite cookies for desert.” She nodded toward the cookies in the oven. They almost tempted you.

You sniffed, quickly drying a few rebellious tears before turning to her. “I, uh, I have to be somewhere. Thanks, though. Maybe another time.” You mustered a smile and picked up your backpack, slipping your shoes on.

“Is everything okay?”

You sighed. “Probably not, but don’t worry about it. It’ll be alright. See ya, May.” With a wave, you left before she could further question you. You made for the Compound as quick as you could, though you had some down time in the back of the car before you got there. You allowed a few silent tears to fall, holding back the real deal for later as not to make things awkward for the chauffeur. You scrolled through your pictures on your phone, still unable to wrap your head around the situation. You half hoped this was maybe just a bad dream. You dried with your hoodie sleeve another tear that dropped onto your phone screen.

When you arrived, Tony was already standing outside to meet you. He walked you inside. “Well, I needed you in the moment,” he explained, “but we got it handled before you showed up.”

You shrugged one shoulder, putting a hand in your pocket. “Sorry. I got here as quick as I could.”

He clapped you on the back for reassurance. “Don’t worry about it, kid.” He paused, removing his glasses and moving to stand in front of you. “You okay?” His hand remained on your shoulder.

You forgot you’d worn mascara that day, which was probably smeared and streaking your face at this point. You sighed, shrugging. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just boy trouble.”

Tony gave a sympathetic look. “Boys are literally the scum of the earth.” He took a moment to snarl at the thought of whoever had hurt you. “Whoever he is, he’s a douchebag. Let me know if I have to hit him.”

You laughed softly. “Thanks, Mr. Stark.” He winked in response. You sniffled again. “Is Wanda here?”

Tony nodded. “Up in her room.”

You wasted no time as you hurried up to her room.You weren’t sure how much longer any more tears could remain unshed.

You hovered in her doorway, making sure she was alone. She sat on her bed, plucking her guitar. She hummed a soft melody and took notes on whatever little riff she just made up. Her eyes lit up when she looked up and saw you. She set the guitar back in its stand and ran to hug you.

“Y/n! What are you doing here?” She pulled away and her smile vanished in an instant. “What’s wrong?” She touched your arm in an attempt to comfort whatever was bothering you.

“Do you have any makeup remover?” you asked, breathing a laugh as you assumed you were a mess. You glanced down at your phone when it vibrated, but you ignored it.

“Yeah, yeah, come here.” She led you to the bathroom and handed you a container of makeup wipes. You looked in the mirror, somewhat amused despite your broken heart. You started with your eyes. “What happened?” Wanda asked, hovering close to your side.

You removed the makeup from your other eye before answering. “Peter broke up with me.” You choked up, biting your lips. You didn’t want to cry again. He’s just a stupid boy. Why did it matter?

He wasn’t just a stupid boy, that’s why it mattered; this was Peter.

Wanda gasped, pulling you into a hug as your tears started flowing again. “Why? What happened?”

You hid your face, your voice muffled by her red sweater, which was now gaining dark splotched from yourr tears. “I think he was cheating on me.”

She gave a hum of disapproval, leading you to sit down on her bed. You proceeded to explain everything that pointed toward his disloyalty: his weird absences, being late or sometimes not showing up at all to dates or when you were supposed to hang out, and how weird he’d act when you asked where he was. You shouldn’t have let it go so easily. You knew something was up and shouldn’t have ignored it. She listened to you vent for the next while, comforting you where she saw fit.

- - -

“Peter, dinner is ready,” May called softly as she poked her head into Peter’s room. He looked up from his phone, sending you numerous text messages. You didn’t reply to any of them. “Is everything okay? Y/n looked upset when she left.”

Peter dropped his head again, letting his phone fall onto his bed. “Uh, no, not really.”

“Why don’t you come talk about it over dinner, then?” May offered, gesturing for him to follow her. They sat at the table together. Peter explained what was up, poking at his spaghetti absentmindedly, but eating very little.

He wanted to protect you. Now that he was Spiderman, everyone he knew and loved would be in danger. He wanted to keep you safe most of all. He cared about you so much, and he regretted every time he had to take a raincheck or be late to see you. He always wanted to be around you, but saving the world would make that hard. Villains kidnapping or killing you would make that even harder, so he decided to break things off in order to keep you safe.

“I understand why you did that, but there’s plenty of other things you could do to protect her. You didn’t have to break up with her,” May said, reaching across the table to touch his hand. “Are you going to eat?

He sighed and shook his, the corners of his mouth being tugged down. “I screwed it up now. I don’t think I can get her back.”

Before May could say anything, Peter heard his special ringtone he had set for Happy. His eyes widened and he stood and scrambled to his room.

“Hello? Hi, yeah. It’s Peter.”

“You’re late for your training session, Peter. I’ve been out here for twenty minutes!” Happy snapped over the line.

A hand went to his forehead and he rushed to grab his things. “Shit! I’m so sorry, Happy. I’ll be out in a minute.” He rushed to throw the rest of his things he needed into his backpack and swiped a handful of cookies from the jar as he rushed out the door. “Sorry, Aunt May,” he mumbled around his mouthful of cookie. “I had to be at the Compound like a half hour ago! Bye, love you!”

He rushed out to the car where Happy stood, his arms crossed and a glare set deep in his features. Peter got in and said nothing on the way to the compound. Happy didn’t ask. In fact, he reveled in the fact that Peter shut up for once.

- - -

Sweaty and exhausted, Peter left the training room. The personal trainer worked him harder than usual today, probably because he was late. He stumbled out of the training room and into the common area, chugging a glass of water.

“Peter?” you said, eyes wide. He startled, fumbling with the glass. “What the hell are you doing here?” You dropped the apple slice you were holding into the bowl of caramel as you stood. Wanda eyed both of you, looking very confused.

“Wait a minute, that’s Peter?” she said with her brow furrowed.

“You two know each other?” Peter asked, pointing between the two of you.

You put your hands on your hips. “I asked my question first.” Your voice was a little too calm to be okay with the current situation. He crossed to meet you, rubbing his hands together nervously.

“Well, uh…” He glanced between the two of you. “I’m kinda an Avenger?”

You furrowed your brow. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You threw your hands in the air with exasperation.

He stuttered as he gestured between you and Wanda. “Well why didn’t you tell me?” he asked you, equally as irritated. “It’s what I was going to tell you! I’m freaking Spiderman!”

You were taken aback, and you hugged yourself, unsure what to think. A thousand thoughts raced through your mind. Peter was the Spiderman? Since when? You thought he’d just been working out, not suddenly training as a superhero! You looked to Wanda, who seemed about as confused as you were. “Well then I guess we have to work on our communication skills…” you said eventually, your tension easing.

Peter laughed a little. “Yeah…” he sighed and reached out to take your hand. “Look, I know I probably screwed up any chance I had with you, but am I allowed to take back what I said before? I didn’t really mean it when I said things weren’t working out���I lied. Sorry.”

Your shoulders relaxed further. You felt a little embarrassed. “Well I haven’t exactly been honest with you either.”

Peter laughed a little, stroking your knuckles with his thumb. “It’s okay. Since we’re telling each other our darkest secrets right now, can I tell you something else?”

“Hit me.”

He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “Things were actually going better than great…yknow, with us. They’re amazing. And like, you’re amazing. And I’m so sorry I’m always late and disappearing and I’m sorry I’m such an idiot.” He looked at his feet for a bit, shame curving his features into a bit of a pout. He glanced back up at you, his puppy dog eyes begging for forgiveness already. “But like, I really love spending time with you and Aunt May loves you and I…” he faltered again, “I love you, yknow?”

You smiled, taking his other hand. “I’m an idiot too, so it’s okay. And,” you stood closer to him, “I love you too.” You leaned in to kiss him, but Wanda cleared her throat, reminding you of her presence. You pursed your lips, your face warming a little with embarrassment.

She picked up the tray of caramel and apples. “I’ll just put these away,” she said, hurrying to put them away and leaving you two alone.

“I’m all sweaty and gross. Sorry.” Peter said before you silenced him with a kiss. It didn’t stop you from pulling him close.

When you broke away, you murmured, “It doesn’t bother me.” You ran a hand down his arm, entwining your fingers again, but remaining close. “Stop apologizing. It’s really okay,” you giggled.

“Sorry–Er, I mean…” He laughed, pecking another kiss to your lips. He smiled brightly, startling a little as Tony entered the room. It seemed that everyone needed to know now.

He froze, his glasses coming off again. “Wait, this is the douchebag?” he asked, unsure he was actually seeing the two of you together like this. “And why are you smooching him? I thought he was giving you trouble?” He pointed at you. “Were you giving her trouble, Parker?”

“No, Mr. Stark,” Peter assured. “It was a misunderstanding. I think we’re good now.” He looked back at you, and you nodded in agreement. You tried to contain your smile.

He squinted, turning with a shrug and going the other way, dropping whatever his previous task was.

“Wanna go get ice cream?” you asked.

Peter smiled. “I like the sound of that. But can I take a shower first?”

You nodded. “You do that, Spidey.”

He dropped his head with a laugh. “That’s cute.”

“What? Spidey?”

“Heh, yeah.”

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again

the last fuckin one of the year. i posted one of these almost every week. you can find all 50 posts @tuesday-again and every tuesday again song on this spotify playlist. 

listening fictional aisle, by tall boy special. this is nonsensical and delightful. i don’t know that it’s particularly well produced or that the music video is especially good but it’s a song that does what it says on the tin. 

reading high crimes by christopher sebela. good premise! disgraced former snowboarding champ now moonlights as a grave robber when she’s guiding rich tourists up everest! stumbles across a dead spy! mystery unravels in a disappointing way and the ending made me yell OH COME ON so loud the dog upstairs barked in alarm!

i do appreciate how the male author and the male artist gave me a sort of fucked up woman who is not sexy at all in her breakdown(s) and there aren’t any weird Hurt but Sexy panels even though she does have full mascara and falsies on in every closeup. they drank like three quarters of their glass of respect women juice

watching the thing (1982, dir. Carpenter). every year i watch a non-traditional christmas movie bc honestly fuck this holiday. i have not seen this since high school when i was trying to impress someone. it is understandable why it was not a hit at first, bc the pacing is fucked and this movie expects me to tell twelve (a full dozen!) scruffy men apart. i could not tell you the timeline of infection or who infected who based on one viewing.

i think it only gets actually tense when it’s an interpersonal thriller- when everyone’s super paranoid and trying to figure out who is infected based on??? idk??? vibes??? interpersonal bullshit before they figure the blood test out??? it’s a solid movie. i think it would be a much more interesting weird short experimental film and it doesn’t really need to be two hours. or if it does give me more of everyone slowly turning on each other and factions forming. 

also, the last time i saw this i had not played fallout 4 (because it wasn’t out) and i had to pause the movie and sigh deeply at the introduction of kurt russell as rj macready. bethany esda could have a made an interesting parallel with the synths or done ANYTHING with it other than going “oh cool name we’re big john carpenter fans bc people seem to like him??? don’t you like all the REFERENCES to OTHER BETTER MEDIA in OUR PIECE OF MEDIA???” but ALAS.

idk if i’m ever going to watch it again but i appreciate what it’s trying to do and its use of practical effects. also more movies should have flamethrowers for no particular reason. i think kurt russell did a good job trying to save the planet

playing three different open world games

genshin impact, the game i actually want to play and am enjoying although the current event is stressing me out a little bit

the redder deader redemption, the game i really need to learn to use a controller for and is stressing me out in a different way bc i already know i will pour several hundred hours of my life into it when i could be doing things like replaying fallout to tighten up my fic more. this is probably the one most likely to get shoved to the back burner for later.

and monster hunter, my best friend’s favorite game, bc nothing would make her happier than being able to play it with me and yanno what this is the least i can fucking do for her even though this is not a flavor of game i tend to enjoy (trial-and-error learn how to beat difficult bosses, lots of prepwork and nesting menus, the same reasons i will never play bloodborne or dark souls)

also, thinking about video games all day at work makes me want to play them less. which makes sense but is still disappointing

making made a thing, framed it, framed two other things. not generally a fan of framing things in hoops yet here we are

top left: sewed a little felt strip on the back of the previously-featured scorpio piece so it hangs properly on my wall

bottom left: pattern from @roachpatrol , a line from the Imperial Radch trilogy. this 40x40 tiny thing took just under five hours start-to-finish not counting washing & drying time (stitching, backstitching, all the fiddly bits involved with framing) while i caught up on waypoint radio

right: this was a christmas gift from my sister that came rolled up in a little packet. i don’t have enough felt to properly back it but it is washed, hooped, and i cut the circles of matboard and batting to keep it from collapsing in on itself over time. i don’t know if i want to put it in my bathroom, bc that’s where my washer and dryer live and everything gets linty and weird real fast. maybe the outside of the door

[poutyhannie]

Also, I have no idea whether or not Jeongin is insecure or not (I don’t think he is bc have you seen that boy) but please keep in mind this is a fanfic and not reality.  It’s just really sweet to comfort a significant other.  

warnings: fluffy as jeongin’s hair, college student!jeongin, fem!reader comforting and loving jeongin, showering together

word count: +2k 

part 1, part 2

Wearily walking out of your lecture hall, you sling your burdensome backpack over your aching shoulders and prepare for the twenty minute walk back to your apartment.  It wasn’t unusual for a college junior to have moved from dorms and into an apartment but it was unusual for a college junior to not have a car.  

Because your university was in a densely populated metropolitan area, rent was through the roof.  Though school was easy and you could keep up your GPA with relative ease, ‘adulting’ was currently the most difficult part of living for you.  Taxes, landlords, jobs, and finding out what to eat consumed what little time left that you had.  Though stress and anxiety often left you drowning, you could find comfort in a very special someone.

His bright and cute smile meets you from across the courtyard, despite thousands of students milling about.  You exhale a sigh as relief floods your body.  Merely seeing Jeongin transforms your day.  

He makes his way towards you, dangling his car keys on a pretty little finger, a mischievous smile on his face.  “Did you really think that I would just let you walk alllllll the way home?” Jeongin asks, quirking his eyebrow.  You guys met in an advanced ancient literature class where the then freshman caught your eye.  You told yourself in the beginning that your interest for him was just because of his youth in a class for juniors up.  After all, your counselor didn’t even know if you could keep up with the class as a then sophomore.  But after you two were put together for a project, you quickly came to the truth that Jeongin was just so adorable and you had to squish his cheeks every day.

So you do.  He crinkles his face up and lifts his shoulders, uncomfortable at the public affection but you can tell by the glow in his eyes that he really loves it.  

“Yes,” you respond as you both start walking to the student parking lot, “I was gonna change into tennis shoes, actually.” Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Jeongin pout a little, readjusting his backpack so you quickly add, “I thought you still have a midterm left so I assumed you were gonna go back to your dorm to study.”

This seems to placate his pout and he turns his body to you, legs walking awkwardly in an attempt to not trip.  “That last midterm was today and I waaaaas going to go back to my dorms but,” he leans closer to you as his calming scent fills your senses, his nose scrunches up in the most adorable way, “I wanted to spend time with you, Y/n.”  

You mask your endeared smile with a scoff and poke his cheek.  Jeongin rolls his eyes walking straight now, seemingly annoyed at you patronizing him, but you know that deep down he loves it.  “That’s good, babyboy.  You wanna sleepover?” You ask, peering intently at him.

He smirks as if that were his plan all along, “I packed clothes for it,” he says, gesturing to his backpack.  Jeongin grabs your hand, surprising you at the bold move, cutely swinging it around before smiling widely at you.  “You’re all finished too, right?  If it’s alright with you, my parent said they’re okay with me staying here over break to study but honestly, I just wanna be with you.”

At that, you can’t contain your smile, looking up to meet his playful gaze.  “Did you tell them that you’ll be staying with me?  Don’t make them pay for dorms if you’re not using it.”

Jeongin rolls his eyes, “Yeah, yeah,” he says, waving his free hand around, “I told them I wanted to stay with you.  You seriously sound like my mom though.”

In mock anger, you slap his chest as he pulls out his keys, laughing.  

The car ride to your apartment is literally five minutes and you’re so thankful that you don’t need to pass that creepy alleyway to get home.  Your apartment is at the top of the building, small, and basically empty other than your books, clothes, and shoes at the front door but its cozy when Jeongin is around.  He runs to your bedroom and jumps on your bed, smiling widely at you.  “What’dya wanna watch, Y/n?  Or we could cook.  Are you hungry?”

Though you intend to fling your backpack far into the closet, you don’t really take into account how freaking heavy it is so it thumps down halfway to its destination.  Groaning, you kick it all the way to the back of your closet and let out a sigh.  Making your way over to the bed, you try to ignore Jeongin’s concerned gaze.

“What’s the matter, Y/n?”  He asks cautiously, laying a big, clumsy but warm hand on your shoulder, “Did I say something?”

Pressing you lips in a firm line, you shake your head, guiltily looking up at Jeongin.  “I’m just really drained from that last midterm and my professor hates me so I really needed to do well so that she’d give me an A so that I can keep up my GPA for my scholarsh—.”

Jeongin presses a light, unsure kiss to your lips, making you lift your eyebrows in surprise.  “I’m sorry, Y/n, do you wanna take a shower to forget?”

A knowing smile spreads across your face at the cheeky boy.  “Now I see why you wanted to sleepover, Innie,” you say, laughing, “Sure, let’s take a shower, babyboy.”

He excitedly jumps up and grabs your hanging towel and and rushes to the bathroom.  Chuckling to yourself at his cute antics, you grab a pair of panties and root through Jeongin’s backpack for his boxers.  You pull out a pale yellow pair that has little green hearts all over them, smiling.  Having Jeongin here really lets you calm down and relax.  He almost alway seems to know what you want and is more than willing to give it to you.  

Almost always.  

After making your way into the bathroom, you’re met with a beautifully bare Jeongin, his faint abs in full view as water flows down his face and over his shoulders.  Seeing you, he covers his stomach with his arms while the hot water steams up the mirrors.  

You tsk your tongue, striping and stepping into the shower.  Gently removing his arms from his stomach, glaring up at him, “No, baby, we’ve talked about how much I love your body.”  

Jeongin’s cheeks fill with blush and it spreads down his neck.  He doesn’t look at you.  “I know, it’s just-I’ve seen your ex around campus gym and it just makes me a bit insecure sometimes, ya know?”

Sighing, you pump body wash onto your hands and begin stroking Jeongin’s wet arms, trailing up and down and into his collarbones, down his chest before resting your palms flat on his stomach.  “Look at me, babyboy,” you whisper, gazing softly up at him through the water.  Eventually, his wandering gaze finds yours and you tilt your head to the side, smiling up at him.  It breaks you to see how sad his eyes are though he wraps his arms around you.  “I don’t care about my ex.  I broke up with him for a reason.  You know what that was, Innnie?”

He shakes his head, eyebrows furrowing as he tries to hold back his emotions.

“It was because he was a fucking bastard.  I thought he was a genuinely good person but I was just wrong; he just wanted me for my body.  But you,” You tap his chest, “you’re a good person.  You’re so caring and considerate and not just to me.  You put your classmates and teachers first and everything around you feels your love, baby.  I fucking love you and it really doesn’t matter to me if you have something as silly as abs or not.”

The earnestness in Jeongin’s puppy eyes breaks you.  

“Plus,” you add, smiling, “I really do like your body.”

With that, Jeongin lets go into a wide, beautifully untamed smile, burying his face into your shoulder.  You’re not really sure if all of the wetness is from the shower.  Placing one hand on his head, running your fingers through his scalp, the other hand pumps some shampoo.  Gently, you begin massaging it into his hair.  He doesn’t lift his head.

“Babyboy,” you whisper, “you’re gonna get soap in your eyes like that.”

He begrudgingly lifts his head, a full, adorable pout gracing his lips.  You can’t help yourself; you press a delicate kiss on them.  Rinsing out his hair, Jeongin starts soaping you up to, smiling in spite of himself.  “Thanks, Y/n.  I really,” he sighs deeply, “I really needed to hear that.”

Closing your eyes, you let the feeling of Jeongin’s fingers in your hair take over your senses.  “Is that why you were acting so cute today?”  You ask, cracking one eye open to see his reaction.  

Jeongin flushes deeply, “No,” he denies, bashfully looking down, only to look back up quickly.

You smile, knowing the reason for his flighty gaze.  “Innie, you’ve seen me naked before, why are you like this?”

“I dunno,” he says, a dumb smile on his face, “You’re just really pretty that’s why.  And I was acting ‘cute’ because I was excited to be with you.”

You let out a groan at his overwhelming cuteness and nuzzle your nose against his.  “Lets finish up and cuddle, yeah?  How does that sound to my babyboy?”

Jeongin’s shaky breath fans over your face, “Actually,” he starts, causing your gaze to snap up at him, “I was wondering if we could…You know…”.  He trails off, averting his gaze.

A smirk spreads across your face but you quickly shoo it away in favor of a mock concerned expression.  “What do you mean, sweetie? I don’t understand what you want, babyboy.”

Jeongin's blush blooms from his neck up and spreads to the tips of his ears like a wildfire.  You know exactly what this brat wants and are willing to wait until he confesses.  “No-no.  Its okay, Y/n.  You’re right lets just cuddle.”

You roll your eyes, stepping out of the shower to towel off.  

You’re just in Jeongin’s sweatshirt and he’s in one of your shirts, sprawled out on top of you, his cheeks squished against your boobs.  He knows what he wants and he knows you know but this bashful baby won’t say anything.  Sighing, you sit up, causing Jeongin to roll off you, looking up at you wide-eyed.  Maybe you won’t wait till he admits it.

“I am fucking sick and tired of you acting like this, baby.”

The panicked puppy-eyes Jeongin gives you is almost too much to keep your angry act up but you push on.  “What were you gonna say in the shower, huh?  What was my babyboy wondering if we could do?”

Realization floods your baby’s eyes and his face turns red once again.  Knowing he won’t get out of it now, he stutters, “I-I just wanted—I was wondering if we could…You know, since we’re both done with school for now and we’re alone…Like-would you be okay with or do you want to…to like I dunno…make love?”  He coughs loudly, covering his face with a hand that you have to pry away.

“See, Kitten?” You murmur, voice dark.  Jeongin’s pupils blow out at the petname, “that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

He shakes his head softly and you reach up to gently stroke his blushing ears.  “Okay, Innie, when I come back, I expect you stripped and kneeling on the bed.  Can you do that for me, Kitten?”

Jeongin gulps and nods vigorously, scrambling to get hisyour shirt off.  “Can I please touch myself?” He begs, his pretty eyes wide and glossy.  Your stomach burns at the thought of your pretty little baby stroking himself and you nod, “Just no cumming.  I know you want to be good for me.”  Jeongin whimpers and nods.  You smirk and leave the room, leaving him to obey you.

[adhd-for-adhders]

Tips for Working with ADHD During Online School (or Work)!

This is really late and I don’t really know why I didn't do this earlier, but here we are! I thought I’d publish a list of tips and tricks that have helped me while doing school online - mostly long homework sessions - (and might help with online working). Even though it is the summer, some people are still working or doing summer school, so I hope this helps someone who needs it!

Get everything you’ll need or even the stuff you might need. It saves you from having to get up if you’re on a roll and breaking your streak (or maybe you find you can’t get up to get it bc ~executive dysfunction~)

If you find you don’t have something you need and it’s not pressing, wait until a pause or you’re getting up anyways, ie you’re getting up to fill your water bottle and you’re gonna need your phone charger. Take that time to go to the bathroom, get a snack, etc. I find this the best way to get around executive dysfunction because I didn’t want to get up for that one small thing earlier, but now I’m up for something else and I can kinda justify my other tasks, in a way? It’s like, I get up, and I'm like “well I'm already getting water, might as well just grab a snack and my phone charger too”

I’m terrible at prioritizing, so I try to prioritize the most obvious assignments first. You have one assignment due at 3 and another at 6? Do the 3 pm deadline first. You have a certain class that you have more missing assignments in than another? Do that homework first. If you can’t prioritize, try to think of the most logical order.

I usually do all my assignments for one class in a block because I get on a roll. Like, my brain is thinking in chemistry or whatever, so I knock out all my chem assignments at one time (this has to do with ADHD brains not being very good at jumping from task to task).

I started planning heavy hw days on google calendar. For example, I just list all the assignments I have to do and what time to do them and calendar will give me a little notification 10 and 5 minutes before a new task starts (this also helps me keep track of how time is passing because adhd brains aren’t too great at that either). Tip: give yourself much more time than you think you need—I usually give an hour unless it’s a super short assignment. Even if you’re 100% sure that you’ll finish it in under an hour, give yourself an hour and you feel a sense of accomplishment (and get a lil dopamine boost—we tend to be short on that too) because you finished something earlier than expected and you get ahead of schedule (which, if you finish before you plan on, will also give you a dopamine boost at the end).

Keep a bottle of water near you and a snack or two if you want. I need my meds to stay focused on my assignments for longer than an hour or so and it drastically improves my executive function (this is specifically for me, I don't know how meds work for everyone else). But the side effects of all three different types of meds I’ve taken have all come up/been worse when I don’t drink enough water. Also it’s just good for you. My meds kill my appetite, so I don’t need snacks, but if you get hungry, go for it.

Most of the time, I like having someone or a list giving me explicit instructions, kind of like a checklist I can check off. So even if you don’t use a calendar, I suggest putting your assignments in a numbered or bulleted list and then you can just check them off as you move down the list. It also tells me what to do next, because I’ll just do whatever I feel like doing most of the time and a list gives me direction. (Also, having one central list helps me keep everything in one place so I don’t have to go hunting through each of my class schedules for all my class assignments)

I have a little calendar chart for the week I created on google docs and there I list what assignments are due on which days of the week that I fill out on Monday. Once I fill it out, I spread out the assignments over the week (because a good 75% of them are due on Friday) so I have around 4 assignments due each day (which generally takes me from 9 or 10 to anywhere from 3 to 5. Even then I’ll usually not have enough work to spread over 5 days (because most of my teachers aren’t pure evil) so I’ll sprinkle in some of my many missing assignments in there on the lighter days. Also, it prevents me from only doing one or two assignments for a few days and then realizing that to not have any late work, I’ll have to complete 5 in one day (that’s happened before. It was extremely stressful and I didn't finish all my assignments. 0/10 do not recommend).

Take plenty of little breaks. We’ll get mentally tired from hours straight of just doing schoolwork (I’m not 100% sure if this is an adhd thing so don’t quote me on it but I’m pretty sure) so take a 15-30 minute break every few hours or assignments, maybe 20 minutes every 1.5 hours or after you finish two assignments or whatever works for you. Read a few chapters of your book, watch an episode of your favorite show, or make some food and scroll mindlessly through tumblr, whatever makes you happy. Just plan them ahead so you don’t get sucked in to doing 3, 4, 5 hours of work nonstop by setting an alarm for a specific time or putting it on your calendar.

Have a special place to do your work. I can't speak for everyone, but a lot of my motivation comes from habits, so I’ll do work (and only work) at my desk and not in my chair or bed or whatever (even though it’s way more comfortable) so when I sit down my brains like “ok it’s time to work I gotchu”

Not necessarily for working, but for zoom calls: get your favorite stim to use during those. A lot of teachers will ramble on and on and I’ve gotten so fidgety during these calls its really noticeable (aka, you can literally see me trying to crack my neck/back/fingers every five seconds) so I’ve taken to having some scissors and one of my many balls of yarn on my desk so I can start braiding or fingerknitting some yarn while my teachers ramble.

Sidenote: fingerknitting is a really great stim (for me, at least) because it requires basic, repetitive motions that don’t require me to look at my fingers. I once read like 14 (?) scenes of Shakespeare almost all in a row and I swear, I was only able to do that because of the fingerknitting. It’s super simple and you could probably find dozens of short tutorials on youtube.

I'm pretty sure this is only a mac thing, but on my computer, I have it set to announce the time on the hour, every hour and I find it helps with my complete time blindness and helps me not get sucked into doing a 1 hour project for 2 hours. Also if i'm working on a project that’s taking longer than expected and I have a zoom call at, say, 11, then the computer will break me out of my homework trance and I’ll realize what time it is (if that makes sense) and it’s prevented me from being late to a zoom many times. To get your macbook to do this, you go to the desktop —> settings —> date and time —> and then click “announce the time”, and you can choose whether you want it to announce it every hour, half an hour, or fifteen minutes.

Feel free to add your own! Happy studying/working!

[tirednotflirting]

you're a sky full of stars

hi this fic was actually the combination of like three different ideas but i think it works out okay.

it’s more soft jalex bc we love soft jalex in this house

here it is on ao3 !

Alex’s flight is delayed.

It makes sense. He had sent Jack a picture of the snow-dusted pasture outside his window when he was getting ready to head for the airport so Jack had expected his early afternoon flight might be delayed by a little bit so the plane could be prepared to fly through the cold air. But a five hour delay was much longer than he originally anticipated.

All afternoon Jack had tried to busy himself with cleaning up a little more and a trip to the grocery store in between getting sad selfies from his boy in an airport Dunkin with updates on his flight time. Each one brought a bittersweet smile to his face because while he was sad he had to wait longer to have Alex in front of him, it was impossible to not smile at his pouty puppy dog eyes. Jack was certain he was sending the dramatic look on purpose, always trying to do something to make Jack smile. It was just one of the many reasons he was entirely head over heels.

The sun set a couple hours ago though and now Jack is camping out on his couch, staring out the big window in his living room, watching tiny blinking lights cross the sky and waiting for Alex’s flight to be one that catches his eye. It’s the closest he can get to stargazing in Los Angeles (the irony of the City of Stars being too bright to see the real ones isn’t lost on him) but it’ll have to do for now. The activity reminds him of Alex, as do most good and soft things in the world, and he can’t help but think about the last time he was at the farm.

It had been Alex’s idea to bundle up a bit and lay out a couple blankets in the front yard to watch the stars one night in October (Mars and Jupiter are going to be visible tonight. Jack, come on, this is important). He requests hot chocolate before they go out, which Alex happily makes and pours into a Thermos that Jack jokes he remembers from the high school lunch room. He lets Alex lay out all the blankets once they’re out there and after moving to sit, he pats the spot between his legs. Alex laughs but moves to take a seat, his back immediately relaxing to rest against Jack’s chest as his eyes drift up to the clear, cold skies. 

He points up into different spots across the night sky to provide direction on how to spot the planets and some constellations he looked up the stories for. Alex tells Jack the stories as well in his typical dramatic fashion while his fingers play with the strings of Jack’s hoodie. Something about the simple action feels so fond, Jack thinks, as one of his own hands lifts to pull Alex’s beanie back over his ear.

He’s just finished telling Jack a story about a guy called Orion, when Alex reaches for Jack’s hand and holds it against his chest. Jack can feel him sigh from the way his chest lifts below his hand. “I’m glad I did this.”

“What this are you referring to?” Jack questions as he slips his fingers into the spaces between Alex’s where they rest against his heart.

“Lots of stuff, I guess,” Alex says, his eyes still trained on the sky. “Decided on this place and the animals, agreed to the hot chocolate for tonight, fell for you. I’m just thankful the universe allowed for all of it, you know?”

Jack smiles easily at his words. He’s always been grateful to have Alex’s perspective on things be such a constant in his life. The world feels way too big and scary and it’s easy for Jack to feel like he’s getting lost in it. It’s his own reason for being so thankful to have the farm to visit from time to time. Jack likes the activity and pace of LA but he’s glad he has a place to head to where the rest of the world aside from his boy and a few goats and horses disappears. “Yeah, I think I do know.”

Alex turns then and resituates himself in Jack’s lap and Jack’s smile grows as he just barely makes out Alex’s in the minimal light provided from the porch light they left on when heading out. Alex leans forward to press his lips to Jack’s, the action obviously intended to be a short one and Jack finds himself laughing against his lips at the gasp Alex lets out as he lies back fully against the blanket. Alex pulls back but only far enough that their foreheads still rest together. “Excuse me, sir, that was not very safe.”

“I live on the edge, baby.” Jack teases back before pulling a giggling Alex closer against his chest to bring their lips back together.

* 

The stars that night had appeared in Jack’s dreams for weeks after that trip. The simple joys of the farm and the sky and Alex lived on a loop in Jack’s brain pretty much always until he could get back to the clean, brisk Maryland air. He sighs now as his eyes strain against the LA sky, searching pointlessly for even the tiniest glittering of a star. 

He could go to sleep, Jack tells himself, as another yawn leaves his lips. He’s been sat on the couch that faces the window for a few hours now, his fingers absent-mindedly strumming his guitar while he waits for a text with a selfie containing one of the LAX filters to tell him the plane has landed. 

He wills himself to get up and wander toward the kitchen to set out Alex’s favorite tea on the counter. He fills the kettle and leaves it on the stove so that way it’ll be ready for when he gets the notification so he can make a mug for Alex to have while he fills in Jack on the day and the writing session he had yesterday. A mug of tea will be the only thing Jack can use to get Alex to stay awake long enough to let him just listen to him for awhile, the sound of his voice, live and in person, always being something to warm Jack’s soul after they’ve been apart. 

Jack heads back to the couch then, determined to watch the sky until his phone buzzes. He blinks the spots away from his eyes as he takes a seat and pulls the sleeves of his sweatshirt over his cold hands. He’s not used to getting tired this early. He used to live in some kind of nocturnal state, he’s pretty sure. It’s as he’s sitting there, lounging against the back of the plush couch and thinking on what could have caused this change in his lifestyle (he’s got an idea of a who rather than a what that has him wanting to settle down), that Jack’s eyes finally drop shut.

*

“Hey there, sunshine.” 

Jack’s eyes flutter open at the sound of Alex’s voice and he feels his heart melt a little at the view in front of his still open window. A beanie covers Alex’s head, pulled down over his ears to fight the rare cold night they were meant to be having in LA. He has yet to take off his jacket, evidence that he must have immediately come to find Jack after stepping through the front door. Alex is always an absolute vision to Jack but there’s something special about his first look at him after they’ve been away from one another for a while.

“You lost all rights to call me that after the last album,” Jack jokes lazily, his hand reaching up to cup Alex’s jaw, the familiar stubble against his palm making a blush and tired grin paint its way across his face. “I was gonna try to stay up for you. Was gonna try to figure out exactly when you would get up here so I could have a tea ready for you and everything.”

“It’s the thought that counts, my love,” Alex smiles, his face turning in Jack’s hand to press a kiss to his palm. “You can make me my tea in the morning if that’ll make you feel better?”

“Mmm, maybe.”

Alex laughs and his eyes light up some in the dull light coming from the entryway and that alone lets Jack consider this night a win, regardless of his tired mind not allowing him a better welcome home for his boy. (If he wasn’t so tired he probably would question how easily he called this place home for the both of them but it’ll have to wait until he’s had more and better sleep.) Alex leans closer and tucks a finger below Jack’s chin before brushing their lips together. “I need to shower off all the plane air but why don’t we go head upstairs and I’ll meet you in bed, yeah? We can catch up in the morning.”

Jack sighs because his tired brain knows that it’s a good plan but he was really looking forward to a catch up. He’s also not all that certain he’ll be able to fall asleep again that easily. “If I’m still awake when you’re done will you tell me more constellation stories?”

He watches Alex’s features soften impossibly more. “You want to hear more of my useless star stories?”

Jack shakes his head as he moves to stand, his hand reaching down for Alex’s so he can walk them in the direction of the bedroom. “They aren’t useless. Always love listening to you talk about your love for everything going on up above us. You always sound so excited.”

They stumble up the stairs, hands loosely linked together as Alex walks behind Jack, his free hand providing a guiding, comforting touch as Alex steers them down the hall. After entering the room, Jack falls into the mattress and behind him he can hear Alex laugh, the sound even more of a comfort than his favorite song. “Well in that case,” Alex starts and Jack lifts his head to watch a tired smirk pull at his lips. “On the plane, I read this really cool article about some of the zodiac constellations that I would love to share with the class.”

“I’m all ears, babe.”

Alex bites his lip as his eyes meet Jack’s from his spot leaning against the bathroom door frame. “Get ready for sleep then and I’ll be back in a few. Happy to be back. I love you so much.”

“I love you more,” Jack says back, his face half-smushed into a pillow. Alex winks and turns to close the door.

And though completely exhausted, Jack finds himself making the mental note that maybe the whole naming a star after Alex would actually be a good birthday present after all. Then maybe Jack can be the one to tell Alex a story. One about a boy who loved another boy enough that every night he filled the sky full of stars and their stories.

[impossible-rat-babies]

27 to 42 and then 48 for rabbit !!!

oooo gonna go mostly below the cut bc this got long rip

27. what’s their family like? who’s in it? what’s their relationship with them?

rabbit had their biological family for a long while, but then something(?) happened to them at which point they were put into the system. they were adopted by a new family at some point, but something also happened to them and they’ve been mostly on their own/working since then.

they loved both sets of their parents very much and had a good relationship with them. they were very attached to both of their mothers. it’s hard to think that they once had a kind and loving relationship with anyone, but what happened to their parents definitely damaged that part of them. it became easier to push ppl away.

28. are they literate? did they go to school? how long? what level?

yes rabbit can read and write! they completed high school but didn’t end up going to college. they didn’t want to, plus it was far too expensive for them.

29. what was childhood like?

they had a pretty good childhood! their parents cared for them and loved them a lot. they had issues with bullying when they were young (something that persisted into middle and high school). they were the sort of child that got labelled as well and truly “Weird.” Like kids were scared of them for no real reason beyond they were Weird and made them uncomfortable. 

But home was a safe place for them. their parents were their rock.

30. what was adolescence like?

it was decent, but about ~15 they started having a lot of rough health issues with breathing and their heart and ended up missing a lot of school. they ended up having to have a heart transplant and as such they have a rather long and large scar down the center of their chest. that got them held back from a year in high school.

they were still known as the weird kid and didn’t have many friends. in middle school they did beat a kid senseless and sent him to the hospital for it, so most people learned not to mess with them.

31. what’s their current main conflict?

being haunted by an body horror monster in the woods that wants to eat them, or at least kill them. or maybe make them suffer. oh and dealing with whatever the fuck being a greenwarden means.

oh and a bunch of other stuff having to do with possibly having murdered a lot of people. 

and solving a missing persons case.

32. what steps have they taken to overcome this conflict?

absolutely nothing besides getting lost in the woods and worrying bautista to death.

33. how have they changed over time?

they’ve grown colder, rougher and meaner. they’re just...horribly mean and abrasive so people don’t mess with them. they’re very cautistic and disagreeable for the purpose of being disagreeable. it would be called a blatant call for help if they weren’t such an ASS about taking the help.

For Fun

34. what’s their room look like right now?

it would be a hotel room and it’s mostly the same when they checked in. maybe a few personal items in the bathroom or on side table. but they keep most of their things in their duffle bag, even when staying at a hotel for a long period of time. they don’t “settle” in places.

35. what are they like as a friend?

when they aren’t being purposefully a dick, they’re insightful and perceptive. part of their love language is making sure people aren’t missing for things--Acts of service. they just don’t like people knowing they’re doing it. they give people their space and are a surprisingly good listener when in a good mood. they don’t give good advice, but they know it’s good to let someone vent. (no guarantees they’re paying attention though).

36. what are they like as a partner?

attentive, mindful, respectful, compassionate; the caustic edges of them soften out a lot and they’re much more vulnurable. more willing to ask for help. the thing is that there has to be a report going on between them and the person before any of that softness shows up. like bautista has seen glimpses of it, but as much as its gonna be a slowburn from their end, it’s gonna be the same with rabbit.

37. do they have any phobias?

maggots and certain insects make their skin crawl and they will get sick to their stomach. dark and enclosed spaces set off their fight response really badly.

38. did/do they go anywhere special for vacations?

they went to the beaches along the pacific northwest growing up a lot, but they travel around for a living + no time for vacations anymore.

39. your character walks into a cafe. what do they order?

answered here!

40. what time do they go to bed, usually?

it depends on when they can get to sleep/when jobs are done. they can only really get six hours of sleep a night, so once they’re up, they’re up.

41. what’s their morning routine like?

crawl out of bed, check if anything has been disturbed in the night (they’re extremely paranoid), bathroom, brush teeth/wash face, check on any wounds and treat them. they’ll wait on this step if they need bautista’s help. otherwise they drink a few cups of instant coffee and a granola bar. they’re a lot of “no muss no fuss”

42. what’s the dumbest thing your character’s done?

they do dumb things on the daily--it’s to be expected. the most recent on the list is staying out in the creepy woods with the creature that wants to eat them all night and not telling anyone about it. 

48. What was their lowest point? What was their highest point?

hmmm both of those are up in the air right now until we learn more about the trapper’s background. when their biological parents died is probably gonna be up there though on lowest points.

--

extremely detailed oc ask meme!

[angelicspaceprince]

Bruised

Author:   Ama 

Title: Bruised

Pairing: Doctor Martin Whitly x Reader

Character/s: Doctor Martin Whitly, mentions of Malcolm Whitly/Bright and Ainsley Whitly.

Word Count: 2, 649 words

Warnings: Spanking, some sexual stuff (18+ only please), some BDSM tones, Doctor being a title like Master or Sir

Tags:  @trelaney  

Prompt: You’d promised Doctor Whitly that you’d be good but you can’t help but bend the rules. The Doctor has had enough, and its time to be punished.

Notes: So I’m going to try and do Kinktober this year but I’m already late so they are all gonna be drabbles and randomised bc lol love it. See the full list of what to expect and what pairings, plus what kinks, here plus my two (hopefully to be released on Halloween) specials on the same page.

Also I know Martin is a serial killer, I know he’s an asshole but he’s a charming asshole that makes me want to sit on his face. So no, I hold no shame in this.

  Buy Me a Coffee 

Bruised

Being married to Martin was a chore some days. Being a step-mother to his two beautiful children that he had to his last wife after she mysteriously died was a challenge. But you loved every single minute.

Sure, stepping into the role of mother to two young ones when the youngest was only 12 weeks old wasn’t ideal but you loved Martin and Martin loved you, any challenge could be over come because surely you could work it out together.

The thing that annoyed you the most that, even after two years of being married to the love of your life, was the rules that he had in place that were iron tight and never bending (which was half the fun of having rules in the first place, you thought). You and the children weren’t allowed in his hobby room, for example. If you wanted his attention, you went to the door and called for him and he came to you. Family time is family time, was another. No distractions from your work or his allowed. That he had to be involved with every decision made regarding the children. They were, after all, his children and you were still, technically, the newcomer. Martin was very big on co-parenting so he always made sure your thoughts, opinions and needs were met but also ensured that his were too. The one that was the hardest one to abide by, however, was his rules about contacting him at work. Never during surgery, never during a consultation and never unless it was an emergency.

You understood the rules. You understood why they were there. And sure, the kinky stuff that happened when you broke the rules was fun. But it was also frustrating. You got frustrated when you called during a surgery because Ainsley had a fever and wouldn’t stop crying. You weren’t sure what to do and he hung up on you to deal with it yourself, followed by a screaming match that evening because you broke one of his precious rules because you panicked and didn’t know what to do. But after that, you spoke and came up with a system, so you knew when was appropriate to call him and when wasn’t. After all, you aren’t medically trained and had never dealt with a sick child before. He granted you a little slack.

So, today, when Malcolm was, for the twelfth time that morning, puking his guts up in the toilet, you called Martin to let him know Malcolm was going to have the day off of school. When the nurse picked up and informed you that you just missed him and he’d gone into the surgery that he had been prepping for for weeks now due to the intensity of the procedure, and she asked if you wanted to speak to him you swore under your breath before reassuring her. No. It’s fine. In fact, don’t even tell him I called.

Malcolm can have a sick day, Martin would never know.

Malcolm stopped vomiting around lunch time, and was all but better by dinner. Martin still hadn’t returned and you got a call from the night nurse to tell you that he was probably not going to make it home before midnight. Great. You got the kids ready for bed and slipped into bed shortly after, promising to tell Martin in the morning what happened with Malcolm. You woke up slightly after feeling Martin kiss you good night as he also slipped into bed after a long day, quickly noting that it was closer to 3am than midnight. You asked him quietly as he holds you close to him how it all went and the grumble that came with it suggests that it wasn’t a success. You move to grab his hand and rub your thumb against his arm in comfort as you both drift back off to sleep.

Martin insisted on taking Malcolm to school the next morning, having barely had three hours sleep but needing to be with his son for that thirty-minute trip to school before heading to work. You got Ainsley to preschool before heading off to your work for the day, coming home after picking up the kids, helping Malcolm with his homework as you cooked dinner and had family time as per Martin’s request. All was quiet and easy, just a regular day. Content, you were convinced you managed to get away with bending Martin’s rule slightly. Then the kids were in bed. And it was like the atmosphere had changed.

Walking up to the bedroom, you couldn’t help but feel something akinned to dread filling the pit of your stomach. When you entered your shared room, Martin was there removing his cuff links and humming to yourself. Just anxiety, you tell yourself. Everything is fine.

You go about your usual nightly routine silently, both in your own thoughts. Martin is the one to break the silence.

“You’ll never guess what Malcolm’s teacher told me today.” You hum in acknowledgement, not completely listening as you come out from the bathroom and towards the bed. “She said that it was great to see Malcolm feeling so much better after having to stay home yesterday.”

Your heart stops. Shit. You knew you forgot to tell him something this morning. The look on his face is positively feral as you try to get your words together.

“I’m so sorry Martin, I called but you were in surgery, and I-” Your words come tumbling out in a large mess as you try to explain

“Oh no love. I don’t think you deserve to call me that tonight.” His voice is low, dark, and you know instantly, you’re going to be punished. And not in a good way.

You swallow and try again as he slowly makes his way over to you, eyes never leaving you. “Sorry, Doctor Whitly. I called to explain the situation, but you had already started surgery. I didn’t think you wanted to be interrupted, so I called Malcolm in sick. I was going to tell you this morning but with the rush and you didn’t get in until 3 I thought perhaps, I could just let it slide for now, tell you maybe tomorrow when things were calmer. He was really very sick.” You finished before adding a smaller apology at the end of your ramble which causes him to send you a small, firm smile as he rubs the sides of both your upper arms in a comforting manner.

“I know you are, love.” His voice seems to calm you for a second. “Unfortunately, you still need to be punished.”

You aren’t sure if you’re excited or nervous as he moves to sit at the edge of the bed and pats his lap expectedly. “Mar-” The look on his face makes you change your tactic. “Doctor Whitly, is this really necessary?” His look darkens, clearly about to give you your first warning. You tried, with very little success, to drape yourself across his lap with some dignity. He moves your hips until your hips rest tilted up towards him in his lap as the rest of your body drapes across and dangles either side of him.

“You’ve been so disobedient; do you really think you could get away without some form of punishment?” He chides you as he harshly yanks down your shorts and panties, leaving your ass bare. “Do you remember what I expect of you?”

You nod and yelp as you get a warning tap to your rear, not hard enough to sting but enough to prompt you to verbalise. “Count, thank, apologise.” You recite. “Be truthful with colour checks, green is good, yellow is ok, red is stop. Safe word is thoracic.” He rubs your thigh as praise as you go through your script before tapping at them to get you to spread them slightly for better balance.

“Let’s see, you called me during a very important, career changing surgery, only to hang up and waste the nurse’s time. You made an important parenting decision for my son without consulting me first. You then forgot to tell me the following day and I had to find out from Malcolm’s teacher. You have refused to address me properly twice just this evening. Five strikes for each count I believe is fair, don’t you dearest?” You knew that it was a trick question, if Martin thought the punishment was fair, that’s the punishment you’re going to get. Nonetheless, he always asks if you agreed.

“Yes, Doctor Whitly.” You state quietly as you prepare for the punishment to begin.

You can hear your husband hum happily at your words before lifting his hand, ready for the first strike. “Don’t forget, Y/N, if you miss one, we start again.”

You squeak when the first smack hits your left cheek, the sting instant and the heat follows soon after. Your face seems to heat up in embarrassment as you breathe and prepare for the second, not realising what you had forgotten until Martin clears his throat. Quickly, you fix your mistake. “One. Thank you, Doctor Whitly. Sorry, Doctor Whitly.” 

Its rushed, but the words are all there. He is tempted to have you start again and add another five to the list. You seem to be shaking as you wait for him to either smack you again or tell you to start again. “I will forgive your forgetfulness this one time, pet.” He states somewhat kindly before his hand makes contact with your right cheek, again the sting appearing before the heat.

“Two. Thank you, Doctor Whitly. Sorry, Doctor Whitly.”

Martin continues with your punishment, stopping for long enough for you to state the number you were up to, thank him for your punishment and apologise for your transgressions. The power he got from you calling him by his medical title is something he’s never been able to find elsewhere, and he is enjoying every moment. He made sure never to hit the same place twice and watches as your flesh seems to ripple against his hand in an appealing manner. Your skin is slowly turning redder by his hand as he moves down to mark up your thighs to match your now cherry red ass. Such a nice colour, his favourite colour on you.

The first smack to your thigh surprises you. You hold back a swear as you continue you’re your count. “Nine. Thank you, Doctor Whitly. Sorry, Doctor Whitly.”

“Colour?”

“Green.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” You grunt at the next strike to your left upper thigh, you are sure this one was harder than the others. “Ten. Thank you, Doctor Whitly. Sorry, Doctor Whitly.” There seems to be a pause as you shift slightly in his lap.

“You’re not enjoying this, are you? This is supposed to be your punishment, pet.” His bemused voice fills the room as your already red face flushes further.

You had been trying to ignore the heat in your belly that had been growing with each passing strike and how you were slowly becoming wetter as time went on. “I’m sorry, Doctor Whitly, I didn’t mean to.”

“Oh, but you did.” His palm lands flat against your ass again as he moves to see how wet your cunt is as you continue with your count. “You really are a bad girl, ignoring my rules, enjoying your punishment. I’m convinced you break my rules so you can be back in this position.” You bite back a moan as a finger is pushed inside of you and just held there. You don’t dare buck up against him, or grind or beg for more. This was a test. You just knew it.

Again, he chuckles as he removes his finger and smacks your thighs twice each side in quick concession. You hurry to catch up with your mantra as he sucks your juices off his finger. “Good girl.” He rewards, moving to soothe the angry red skin. “Only ten more to go, can you handle it?” You nod, looking straight at the door as you wait for the rest of your punishment.

The final ten strikes come quickly after you’ve counted, thanked and apologised Martin. You are sure you are going to have bruises and there isn’t a part of your thighs and ass that isn’t red in some way. Martin is quick to rub every red area with his hand as he soothes you, praising you for doing so well, asking if you wanted ointment to help with the bruising and pain. You hum, which he takes as a yes because soon he’s rubbing something into your skin and your shorts and panties are pulled up and over your bum again, keeping you decent. You had two little ones in your house, pyjamas weren’t optional anymore.

He pulls you up and into his lap with your knees either side his waist as he holds you and rubs your back, making sure you’re ok as he hums you small tunes and makes sure you are ok.

“Did you want me to help with that?” He asks, indicating to the wet patch clearly growing on your panties. You were absolutely dripping but the idea of anything touching you wasn’t something you were keen on right now. You shake your head.

“Just hold me?” Martin smiles at your request.

“Oh, I think I can do that. Let’s get on the bed properly love.” He brings you up to the top of the bed and towards the centre so the two of you can rest together properly as he continues to take care of you, making sure you are safe in your own mind and not in need of anything. “Tea?”

“No, I don’t know what blend you use but it always makes me super sleepy.” You complain as you yawn loudly. “And I’m sleepy enough as is. Thank you, though.” He just looks down at you with a smile as you snuggle closer to him and bring the blankets over you, you still straddling him as he holds you close. “I was going to tell you. I didn’t mean to keep it secret, I just didn’t want to interrupt your surgery and it wasn’t a big deal. Just a tummy bug, really.”

“I still would have liked to have known what was going on. He’s our son, I just want to be involved with decisions made.” He explains gently, seemingly calmer now you were talking properly again.

“I know. I just didn’t know what to do because I can’t make decisions without talking to you first, and I can’t call you during surgery. It was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.” You explain carefully. “I do love you, and I’m sorry I forgot to tell you. I’ll work on that. But there has to be a way that you feel like I am doing the best for your – our – kids whilst taking your thoughts and concerns into consideration. I wouldn’t of kept Malcolm home if it was just a cold. He was throwing up and, although he didn’t have a fever, there was no way he was going to be able to pay attention in class.” Martin hums as you explain the situation. “What if, if something like that happens again, I call your office and leave a message? That way you’ll know before you get home and I won’t interrupt your work?”

Martin thinks over this for a second before nodding. “Seems like a good compromise.” You smile happily. “I love you too, by the way.”

“I know you do.” You yawn once more before settling on his chest.

“You’re sure you’re ok?”

“Yup. Just comfy. And sleepy.”

He laughs quietly as you quickly fall into a slumber in his arms, him following your example merely seconds later, both of you holding each other in your arms.

[qlistening]

I Fucking Hate Brunch. The world will be a better place if I could convince you to feel the same way.

All you upper middle class Jeep driving girls can go ahead and put your gun back in its holster because I know you’re feeling attacked by this post right off the bat. I want you to read the argument I’m about to present to you with a clear head because if everything goes as planned, I’m about to rock your shit with how valid my opinion is on this subject, and I want you to be in a good headspace to take all of this in.

Ah brunch, a genius concept at first glance. A perfectly plated visual masterpiece, one filter away from landing on your insta story, delivered to you at a time that acknowledges and accepts your constitutional right to suck down a tanker truck full of alcohol the night before. No more pulling up to a greasy diner in your friends sweatpants for some scrambled eggs. Every classy restaurant in town is now opening their doors at 11 AM so you and your friends can get drunk before noon in a place that had the funds to pay an interior designer. 

Well you know what else looked like a genius concept at first glance? Mortgage backed securities baby! And those suckers single handedly butt fucked the entire economy when you were like eight. I’m not saying that is in the cards with brunch, but I’m also not saying it’s not.

I’m actually an expert on this subject, as I have brunched it up in seven different countries and served this beloved meal at three different restaurants. And yeah, I know chomping down those pancakes in the upper righthand corner of this picture makes me a hypocrite, but the title of this post isn’t “I fucking hate hypocrisy”, is it?  

(you might have to click the title to keep reading. I’m not about to relearn html to fix this)

Diner Perspective

As a diner, I know that the brunch is a classic case of “expectation vs. reality”. You wake up at like noon. Try desperately to make something cute out of your dry skin, smudged eyeliner and greasy hair from the night before. You fail miserably. Then you put on some clothes that typically reside in that rarely touched “darty-wear” section of your closet. When you pull up and sit down at the restaurant, you can’t help but feeling a little bit ridiculous. The waitress is sitting there wearing an apron and nonslip shoes and you are wearing giant star earings. There are like, old people scattered throughout the place as well. Their faces makes it pretty clear that your footwear choice of wedges was in fact, not super appropriate. Once you sit down, you realize how fucking thirsty you are. You start taking down glasses of water at an embarrassing speed and feel kind of bad that your waitress has filled your glass three times before you have even ordered.

Oh yeah ordering. You were so busy rehydrating your kidneys that you have no idea what you want when the waitress comes back to the table the third time so you order something stupid and kinda out of your price range. Either that, or your eyes are way bigger than your stomach and before you know it there are 5 plates and three drinks sitting in front of you. Whoever drank the least the night before whips out the classic “so ladies are we drinking” and now, thanks to that bitch, you have a mimosa on your bill too. 

You eat a solid two-thirds of your food and suck down all of your drinks. You and your friends do a baseline rehash of the night and realize that you have little left to talk about. Because you like, already talked about it last night. Meanwhile, your hangover is hitting its peak and you would really rather go to the bathroom and pull trig than take another bite of eggs benny but shit! You can’t. Because of the judgy old people. You sit there and dream of when you can go the fuck home and lay down after this. 

Oh here comes the best part! The bill! Thirty five fucking dollars you have to be joking. I could buy an eighth for that much. I sure as hell would get more use out of it. And I have to tip this waitress! it’s not like she turned on the ol’ razzle dazzle or anything. She literally just asked what we wanted and brought it to the table. Fuck this shit. “How much are you guys tipping? $5? Cool me too.” 

Server Perspective 

How the fuck is it already 9 AM. I feel like I slept for five minutes. Probably because I want to sleep at 5 AM. I can’t believe I have to work this fucking shift. I literally texted every single other server before I went out last night asking for a cover and no one responded. I worked thirteen hours yesterday with no break. I’m not even sure this is legal. Do I need this job? One of my friends made a lot of money as like a cam girl. Maybe I could do that. I’ve got pretty nice boobs. Wait no people might look me up and see them when I’m applying to grad school. Okay I’m getting up. 

Good thing I’m still wearing my makeup from the night before bc I’m not trying to sit here and beat my face right now. Shit my uniform is literally disgusting from sweating for thirteen hours yesterday. Dryer sheet and a 10 minute run in the dryer and she’ll be good to go. Hair...going in a top knot. Alright lets take some Advil and get this bread.

“You know you’re late, right?” “Yeah I’m really sorry I forgot my apron and had to run home and grab it”. Fuck off idiot. I may be late but at least I graduated high school. Holy shit why has no on done any side work? I’m literally going to be sitting here making coffee, syrups, ketchups, toast, sweet tea, lemons and place settings for the next hour to make all of $2.13.

Oh yes the first customer is here. It’s the boy I made out with at DKE freshman year and his entire extended family. And they’re sitting in my section. Can’t wait for his grandparents and dad to emotionally abuse me while his mom insists on making six to eight substitutions to whatever she orders. The chef is going to literally throw hot grease in my face when I put in this complicated order. If you could even call him a chef. He’s just one of the line cooks that gets screwed into making omelets and microwaving food from the night before every Saturday and Sunday morning, as if it’s some kind of promotion. I need to get these rich people drunk or there is no way they are tipping me shit. Read them the brunch drink specials. Make sure to lock eyes with the women when you are describing our specialty mimosas. Phew they ordered $150 worth of drinks. That’ll be enough money to justify half-assing the rest of this shift until I can go home and smoke a bowl to forget what I just went through. Oh the white girls at table 46 only tipped me $5 a piece? Shocking. Could give a damn.

If you did not relate to this post whatsoever and are still clinging to your fantasies of brunch being “like the best meal ever invented”, you my friend, are too far gone. There is no way a working class girl like me had any chance of getting through to you in the first place. I sincerely apologize for wasting your time. For the rest of you, I hope we all learned something today. And that the next time the topic of brunch comes up in the group-chat, you will make the noble suggestion that we just cook the cinnamon rolls in the fridge.