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cxrdycxps · 2 months

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Pretty Hurts • Ellie Williams

☢️ female reader • lesbian reader (it’s well defined) • canon typical violence • sexual assault • mean!ellie can’t deal with feelings • victim shaming • strap on sex • Ellie’s also mean in bed • recreational drug use ☢️

Main Masterlist • Ellie Williams Masterlist

“Jesse! Hey, Jesse.” You chased your friend up the street, almost running into him when he stopped suddenly. He looked you up and down, eyes narrowed. It had been unseasonably warm today but he was sure you were pushing it.

“What’s got you all dressed up, Princess?” Jesse asked and you looked down at your outfit like you needed a reminder of what you were wearing. “Or dressed down, I guess?”

“You think it’s hot?” You asked him and he blanched, looking over his shoulder as if Dina would appear out of nowhere to hear the conversation. “Not for you obviously.”

Jesse would admit there was a certain allure to it. He would admit that on his death bed where a very jealous Dina wouldn’t be able to strangle him for it.

You had your usual cowboy boots on that you wore year round. You had been heartbroken when you busted your last pair beyond repair while on patrol one day. Ellie had saved the day almost three weeks later when she returned with a new pair for you.

Usually you could be found clad in a tight pair of jeans, weirdly proud of your looks for someone who had been born after the world ended. It had earned you the nickname of Princess by most of your peers. Today, instead of the typical jeans, was a short denim skirt. You had clearly sacrificed a pair of jeans for them but Jesse could appreciate the sacrifice. Completely unbiased, just as a man.

He was starting to get paranoid Dina would hear his thoughts. At this point he was going to deserve to be strangled. The top you were wearing was also of your own doing. It had been a white blouse once, Jesse guessed. Except now it was sleeveless and cropped, tying at the front in a little knot. You hadn’t bothered to button it all the way.

“Well that answers that.” You grinned happily and Jesse blinked at you. “You were staring, it means I look hot.”

You gave him a little twirl and he was treated to a glimpse of what he was certain was definitely your underwear. He closed his eyes and asked the lord for strength, if he even existed.

“Tonight’s the night.” You told him enthusiastically. Jesse still hadn’t gathered enough brain cells to answer you but it was like you didn’t need him to. Like you could read his mind in the way he feared Dina could. “Ellie’s finally coming to a dance.”

“Think you’ve picked it up wrong, Princess. Ellie doesn’t dance. Ellie actively avoids dances by hanging out in Joel’s garage and smoking so much she reeks of weed for three days after.” That was oddly specific. Jesse knew far too much about his friends at this point. Ellie’s smoking habits, the color of your underwear. When would it end?

“I know but it’s part of her fixing her relationship with Joel. He likes these things apparently, even though he just sits down the back and glares at people.” You told Jesse excitedly. For some reason Joel liked you.

He told you about how he was trying to fix things between him and Ellie. He talked to you during meals, he patrolled with you and he even had been caught leaving your house.

In the beginning it had been weird. Everyone felt weird about it including Ellie who had callously called you out for fucking Joel a few months after she had arrived to Jackson.

You hadn’t had the best reaction about it. Calling Ellie a slew of names, promptly bursting into tears and running out of the Tipsy Bison. And while Joel would probably murder people for looking at Ellie wrong, he had shaken his head at Ellie, following you out of the bar.

Turns out you had known Joel. He had helped you years ago when he had come across a gang of rival raiders, ones that didn’t have the same barely there morals he had.

No women or no children. He had sworn he wouldn’t do that and he had stuck to it. So when he came across you, barely ten and already far more exposed to the cruelties of the world something in him had snapped.

He had gotten you and your mother away. And the pair of you had made your way to Jackson, only for him to find you years later. Your mother having passed away since he had last saw you.

It just so happened one of the nights he had been walking home late from the Tipsy Bison he had encountered you trying to tell one of the stable boys you weren’t interested.

He hadn’t listened and Joel had intervened, reminding you of that fateful night so many years ago. The puzzle pieces had clicked and you had formed a sort of dependency on the man who had saved your life.

At this point Joel was collecting daughters like they were Pokémon and he was too tired to keep fighting it so he just let you come around when you had some small issue you needed advice on.

You had explained some of this to Ellie the next night, apologizing for calling her names in an act of graciousness nobody was sure Ellie deserved. It wasn’t long until most of your inner circle had put it together that you had a crush on her.

Everyone but Ellie, that was. So you had hatched these elaborate schemes to get her attention and everyone watched when you crashed and burned only to bounce back again and again.

You were kind of unshakeable. It was almost inspiring.

So when you walked into the Tipsy Bison that night with your hair curled and what passed for make up on these days everyone was ready to watch you fail again.

A few of the women had been reclaiming old beauty practices after a particularly good patrol had found an old salon with hair styling tools. And some out of date makeup but it was powders so did it even count as an expiration date?

“She always does so much and for what?” Ellie asked and Joel looked up from his drink to find you scanning the crowd. “Oh god she’s going to coming over here.”

“Cut her some slack, I thought you were friends now.” Joel sighed and Ellie looked back at Joel before looking back at you.

“We’ve nothing in common except Jesse and Dina.” Ellie explained to Joel. Joel knew he was on thin enough ice with Ellie so he didn’t mention that according to you, there was so many shared interests that it just made sense.

Instead of approaching like Ellie had predicted you would after spotting her, you made your way to the bar instead and Joel watched Ellie’s eyes lock on the length of your skirt. Or rather the lack of length to it.

Joel wondered if he was in good enough graces with Ellie again yet to make a joke about it but he caught himself at the last second in case he ruined your best laid plans.

He looked back to you at the bar and found it wasn’t just Ellie’s attention you had managed to capture. Stable boy apparently hadn’t learned his lesson and had returned for more.

Joel straightened up in his seat and wondered if Tommy would kill him for hurting this kid. It would probably be worth it to teach him a lesson.

Joel didn’t need to move because he watched Ellie approach you and slot in on your other side, taking all of your attention. Ellie gestured for three drinks off Seth before turning to look at you.

“New skirt?” Ellie asked and you lit up like the fact that she noticed was the greatest thing ever. Like you couldn’t even hear the stable boy say anything from behind you as he attempted to get your attention back.

“Do you like it?” You asked Ellie, giving her a little twirl so she could appreciate the whole view. Ellie let her eyes trace you up and down as you finished with a little bounce and who was Ellie to not appreciate the way your tits moved.

“I mean, it’s a skirt.” She shrugged and you visibly deflated as Seth approached with the drinks.

“I think it’s a great skirt.” Stable boy told you and you barely looked over your shoulder at him to roll your eyes.

“Literally no one in Jackson cares what you think Darwin.” You snapped and Ellie laughed lightly, nudging the third glass in your direction.

“Come on then.” She instructed and nodded to where Joel was sitting, watching the whole interaction with what was almost a smile on his face.

“With you?” You asked, cradling the drink in your hand and looking between her and the table.

“Unless you want to stay here with Darwin?” Ellie shrugged and started walking away. It was almost embarrassing how quickly you followed her over to the table. Instead of taking the seat she had been in, beside Joel, she took the one across the table from him, kicking the chair beside her out in a casual way that made your heart beat double time.

“Hey Joel, how you doin’?” You asked, smiling at him before taking a sip of your drink. He took his own drink from the table and sipped at it slowly, looking over your shoulder.

“Am I gonna have to talk to Stable Boy?” Joel asked rather than answer your question and you followed his gaze to where Darwin had his elbows leaned back on the bar, watching you.

“She’s plenty capable, ain’t you Princess?” Ellie asked, her arm sliding along the back of your chair. “Put him in his place just now.”

You had been barely paying attention to Darwin at the bar, definitely not enough to remember what you had said. Recalling as much was even hard with Ellie’s fingers tracing the place when you had cut the sleeves off your blouse. Her finger traced your skin lightly and you could feel the goosebumps following in her wake.

“Is that so?” Joel asked with what was almost a smile. “What’d you tell him?”

“I uh, I don’t know.” You muttered, looking back again to find Darwin wasn’t looking anymore, talking to some of his friends. “I wasn’t mean, was I?”

“Told him no one cared about his opinion in all of Jackson.” Ellie sounded proud of you and you leaned further back into her arm with a satisfied grin.

“He should know better than goin’ talkin’ to you anyway.” Joel muttered, swirling his glass as the music started up. “I obviously didn’t scare him enough.”

Ellie looked between you both and back to Darwin. You figured she didn’t know anything about the night Joel interrupted you both in the middle of an argument.

“Darwin’s really not so bad.” You sighed, looking back at him again. He was talking avidly, telling a story with his hands and his friends were laughing. “He just don’t know what to do with a pretty girl.”

“Pretty girl?” Ellie laughed meanly and you looked up at her and swallowed the lump suddenly growing in your throat. “You sure of that?”

You leaned forward, away from her arm and stared at the table before looking up at Joel who was pinching the bridge of his nose. “I uh, I’m gonna..” you trailed off, shaking your head before standing up.

You passed Jesse and Dina who were coming in. They watched you and looked across to where Ellie was watching you leave, her arm still slung around your chair.

You tried to ignore the cold, crossing your arms across your chest and heading for home. You wiped at your eyes feeling pathetic that you were actually gonna cry.

“Hey Princess!” You sighed, looking over your shoulder and found Darwin standing a couple of feet away. “You usually never leave a dance until the music stops playing.”

“I don’t feel much like dancin’.” You shrugged, shivering again. He sighed, stepping a little closer and extending his jacket he had in his hand. “It’s fine.”

“Take it, nothing worse than seeing a pretty girl cry. She don’t need to be cold too.” You laughed at his logic, taking his jacket from his outstretched hand. “What’s got you so upset? Thought all your dreams were coming true with how close you two were.”

“She insinuated I wasn’t pretty.” You told him, feeling pathetic. You wiped your tears away again and Darwin rolled his eyes, stepping close enough to pull you into a hug. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“It ain’t stupid. You know you’re the prettiest girl in town. That’s why everyone calls you Princess.” He assured you, a soothing hand rubbing your back. “We all got our talents and ain’t no one as pretty as you.”

“I got other talents.” You muttered petulantly and he laughed.

“I know you do. You’re a dab hand at tracking, make the rest of us look stupid. When fall comes you make a great apple pie. And you ain’t never failed to put a smile on someone’s face no matter how bad their day is.” Darwin told you with a squeeze. You looked up at him and pouted.

“Why can’t I like you?” You asked him and he laughed, tossing his head back. “Ellie would never say all that to me. She’s just mean.”

“I wish you could like me too. But it ain’t that simple telling your heart what to do.” He released you with one arm, wrapping the other around your shoulder to guide you home.

“Ain’t that for sure.” You sighed before looking back to where the music was pouring from the Tipsy Bison. “You wanna dance?”

“You tryna get my hopes up?” He asked with a laugh and you shook your head at him, squaring your shoulders. “Thought you weren’t up for dancin’?”

“I ain’t but she doesn’t get to know she hurt me like that. So we should go back and dance. I still ain’t gonna crawl into your bed tonight but we can be friends, can’t we?” You asked and Darwin could only roll his eyes, turning back towards the bar.

“Maybe a couple of the other girls’ll see you in my arm and start paying me some attention.” You looked almost offended and he shrugged. “Ain’t you using me to make her jealous?”

You were and he was right about it. It shouldn’t hurt that he was getting something out of it too so you only nodded at him, taking his hand and leading into the bar.

He paused you in the doorway and lifted his hands up to cup your cheeks, his thumbs running under your eyes. “Don’t let her know she made you cry.”

You smiled up at him as the door pushed open. Jesse looked between you and Darwin and paused in place, jaw dropped.

“I was just coming to check on you.” Jesse muttered and you shrugged as Darwin dropped his hands from your face.

“We were just getting some air.” You told Jesse, pulling Darwin back into the bar by his hand. “Nothing to see here.”

///

The sounds of the forest were better to quiet your mind than any of the weed Eugene managed to bring into Jackson. You stood with your head tilted back towards the sun, letting the breeze cool you.

You could hear the noise of the others as they travelled through the small settlement behind you, killing off the runners you’d been tracking.

You didn’t much get involved in that. It turned your stomach at best and made you violently ill at worse.

You had a gun on your hip that you only ever shot at unmoving targets, keeping your skills sharp but without causing harm. You had seen enough blood to last you a lifetime.

“Bout ready to get saddled up again, Princess.” Joel told you from a little to your left. You turned your head to look at him, lifting a hand to block the sun rays. “You finished sunbathing?”

“Almost, a bloater travelled through here. Couple days ago at most.” You told Joel and he looked around, watching for what you saw. You didn’t share any of the details with him. You didn’t need to be out of a job.

“Got enough time?” Joel asked and you shook your head. He nodded slowly, watching the forest with you. “We’ll come out this way again tomorrow. Plan an overnight patrol.”

“Sounds good to me.” You agreed lightly, listening to the sounds of everyone else saddling back up from a little behind the tree line.

“So, stable boy, huh?” Joel asked and you rolled your eyes. You looked up at Joel, still shielding your eyes before turning and heading back to your horse. “I’m just asking.”

“Well don’t. Darwin and I are friends. He’s nicer than other people I chose to associate with recently.” You told him, pulling yourself up onto your horse without bothering to look back at him. “Maybe it’s time I find good friends.”

“You got good friends and none of them tried to force themselves on you in a dark alley.” Joel reasoned as he pulled himself up onto his horse.

“He wasn’t gonna force himself on me.” You sighed. “He was a little drunk and thought I just needed convincin’. He never set a hand on me. I’m not that ten year old anymore.”

“I know that. You’re a woman now and you make your own decisions. I just wanna make sure you’re making good ones.” You stared at Joel, eyebrows furrowed.

“Joel, I uh, I ain’t tryin’ to be rude. But you aren’t my father.” You told him, bewildered at the sharing he was doing when usually a grunt was all the acknowledging you’d get. “You got Ellie for that.”

“You ain’t ever turned my advice down before.” He shrugged and you shook your head.

“Thanks to your advice I was cryin’ outside the bar last week. You told me to have patience but Joel, I ain’t ever gonna let someone talk to me like that.” You sighed. He didn’t reply and you didn’t much care, urging your horse on ahead.

You spent some time discussing an early patrol tomorrow with Tommy. He’d need to put together a small team for overnight so that you could track that bloater and get rid of it.

You resolutely ignored Joel who’s eyes you could feel burning into your back and kept a similar distance from Jesse who was just confused for all intents and purposes.

You didn’t bother taking time to explain to any of your friends why you were quietly drawing away from them. You didn’t know how to explain what finally tipped you over the edge was a dig that maybe you weren’t as pretty as you thought you were.

You were embarrassed to admit it had knocked your confidence a little. You had always held your looks close to your heart. You were a little vain, you knew as much. Your mama had been the most beautiful woman you had known. She had told you about being a pageant queen and how she had loved looking pretty.

Jesse wouldn’t understand it. He wasn’t a girl, he didn’t understand that drive to be worried about how you looked. Dina would laugh at you, of that you were sure. She had always laughed at your need to wear clothes that almost bordered on impractical.

You hadn’t minded before. But now you wondered if maybe you were an outsider. You had been friends with Jesse and Dina way before Ellie had come along but Ellie had slotted in seamlessly to the group. It was a kind of heartbreaking thought that once again you were isolated from everyone else.

On your return to Jackson, Darwin was at the stable, welcoming in the patrol men and taking their horses. You hung around for a while, helping Darwin with brushing the horses and settling them in for the night.

"We'll be heading out again tomorrow." You told him, fighting around a yawn. He looked up from where he was brushing Joel's horse and smiled at you. "Ain't you up for a patrol soon?"

The patrol schedule, like most jobs in Jackson, was rotational. For everyday patrols there was a set schedule and groups who would do them all the time. But the long patrols, the overnight, were a town-wide rotation in which every able-bodied adult took part.

Your momma had said something about jury duty the first time it had come up. You never had a chance to ask her what that had meant.

"Yeah sure, think I'll be in for this one." Darwin nodded, finishing up with the horse and dusting his hands off. He gave you a grin and you rolled your eyes at him, already expecting the stupid joke that followed that particular grin. "You wanna share a sleeping bag?"

"I think I'd rather share it with the bloater we're looking for." You scoffed, tossing his bag at him as you left the stable with him. You cast a look in through the other stables as you both left and found Ellie brushing Shimmer.

She looked over her shoulder at the sound of Darwin chattering and you paused when she called our name. When you paused in place Darwin stopped by your side. Ellie stared between you both, eyes narrowing.

"I'll see you at dinner." You told Darwin with a sigh, resting your arms on the half door of the stable. Ellie watched him walk away before turning to you with a raised eyebrow.

"You heading out tomorrow?" Ellie asked and you nodded, resting your chin on your forearms. She fidgeted with the brush in her hands, barely looking up at you. "Joel says it's a bloater. You ever seen one before?"

"Is this an exam, do I need to get so many questions right before you let me leave?" You asked her and she rolled her eyes, throwing the brush into her bag.

"I was just asking, no need to get your panties in a twist." Ellie scoffed and you huffed, standing up straight. "I can't make conversation with you now? Got your little boyfriend and suddenly you're too good for your friends."

"Like you're a friend? The way that you treat me?" You asked with a scoff and Ellie recoiled as if you had shocked her with something she didn't already know. "You cut me down at every single chance you get and call yourself my friend."

"It was a joke, I can't make a joke?" She asked, almost shouting and you shook your head, running a hand through your hair. "You never had a problem with me making a joke before."

"You never called me ugly before." You muttered and she blinked at you. You stared at her for several seconds as she remained unmoving and sighed. "I never realized you were laughing at me, not with me. It hurt a little."

You left her standing in the stable and wondered how she dared to pretend she hadn't noticed that everything she had said to you wasn't a dig in one way or another.

You had clearly been delusional in thinking that there would ever have been a chance that she was interested in you.

///

The thing about early morning patrols was that most people in the usual patrol group kept it quiet until everyone had fully woken up. By everyone, you meant mostly Eugene and yourself.

Unfortunately, Darwin had chosen this morning to be especially chatty and Ellie was telling Joel a bunch of puns from a tattered book. You leaned forward, your forehead against your horse's mane, and tried to tune it all out before you raised your head again.

"Up late, Princess?" Darwin asked and you groaned, lifting a hand to block out the rising sun from your eyes.

“Dreaming of you, Sweetheart.” You told him before digging your heels in and urging your horse up ahead to Eugene who seemed to be distancing himself from the chatter boxes.

“Damn shame we can’t just tape their mouth shut.” Eugene grunted and you laughed at him, rolling your eyes. “That boy of yours could draw a pack of the biters with a whisper.”

“He ain’t mine.” You laughed and Eugene shook his head, pulling down his sunglasses to look at you. “He’s not my type.”

“The other loud mouth is though.” He pointed out and you sighed heavily, reaching out and attempting to swipe his sunglasses.

“Cmon old man, I know you stole my last pair. I just know it.” You accused and he shook his head with a smirk as he batted your hands away.

“You can’t prove it, Princess. You’ll have to keep a look out for your own.” He told you and you sighed. You were approaching the location you had spotted bloater tracks so you sat up straight and reached back to tie your hair up in a ponytail.

Darwin joined your sides the same filthy grin on his face that you knew a comment was coming. “You know what that does to me, baby.”

“You make me want to vomit.” You replied with a sigh, pulling on your horses reigns and hopping down. Eugene followed you while the others waited back.

“Think it might have fallen off a cliff and died and we can just all go home?” Eugene asked and you rolled your eyes. You followed the signs that lead you to your discovery the other day.

Several of the plants had been squashed in the surrounding area. On several of the trees there was residue from the bloater knocking into them. The terrible echolocation skills allowed you to follow their path pretty easily.

“Dumb motherfucker got me wasting a whole day and night on this shit.” Eugene sighed, watching you follow the path of destruction. He went back for your horses and to gather everyone else.

You took your time, watching the signs and clues. At one point the bloater had just wandered in a circle, trampling a ring of destruction. You figured it was probably chasing an animal or something.

When the others caught up you accepted the reigns of your horse off Eugene and hopped up on her back. The group was much quieter as you followed the trail.

You had been right about one thing. The bloater had been a few days ahead of you. By the time the sun was beginning to set you were still over a day behind it. With the slow speed it travelled you would be well able to catch up the following morning and be home before sundown.

With that news the group made way to the nearest outpost in a small farm house. The horses were set up in the barn, Darwin offering to do his duty by settling them all in.

The rest of you trailed into the farmhouse.

Joel lit a fire while everyone set up their space for the night. You and Eugene played rock paper scissors for the sofa and he laughed when you lost, setting your sleeping bag up on the floor.

He then lost to Joel who disputed his claim only for him to offer the sofa to Ellie which made you and Eugene roll your eyes.

You hung a pot over the fire, unpacking a few tins of food. While you waited you dug your fists into the bottom of your back, trying to ease the pain taking residence there.

“I got somethin’ for that!” Eugene called and you only laughed at him. You had no doubt he had an arsenal of ‘stuff’. “You young people shouldn’t be hurting’ like you’re eighty.”

“Youth is wasted on the young.” Joel clapped Eugene on the shoulder in passing.

///

Mostly everyone was sleeping. Eugene was starfished by the fire, his massive form almost blocking the light from it. Ellie was curled up on the sofa, her hand resting down the side, almost touching Joel who was sleeping next to her, still as a corpse. Darwin was closest to where you had set up, almost completely covered by his sleeping bag, only the top of his head peeking out.

You were sat up, turning your gun over in your hand. It was your turn to keep watch and you had sat yourself up on a counter in the kitchen to do so. The floor was open plan so you could still see everyone while keeping an eye on things outside.

The heat of the evening was getting to you and so you took a second to pad outside, wincing at the creak of the screen door. There was a bench on the porch and you lowered yourself into it.

The night was silent, the only sound from the slight rustle of the leaves in the gentle breeze. There was just over half a moon, a natural source of light allowing you to see the trees of the forest.

In times like this it was easy to forget why you were out here. You had never known a life before the outbreak but your momma had told you stories about how she had lived.

You wanted to experience a peagant and see her in all her glory. You wanted a prom and Friday night football games. You wanted to know what it had all been about.

Most of all you wanted your momma. She’d probably be able to comfort you in getting over Ellie. She always was able to calm you down even when the two of you were living through hell.

That was if she was okay with you liking girls. You had never had a chance to tell her about how you felt. She had died well before you had accepted it.

Cancer.

The world ended and zombies took over but cancer was what killed her in the end. Without chemo there was nothing the doctors in Jackson could do.

The people of Jackson had been good to you. You had lived in a boarding house until you were eighteen and then gave you back your momma’s house.

The screen door creaked and you looked up when Darwin stepped out. He didn’t speak and so neither did you, letting him take his place beside you.

“Hard to sleep when we ain’t at home.” He told you after a little while and you nodded in agreement, still watching the forest. “You okay?”

“Just thinkin’ about Momma.” You told him honestly. “I been missin’ her.”

“She’d be real proud of you.” He told you with a cut off laugh. “I remember her. She was real pretty and real nice. Used to help my mom set her hair in rollers on special occasions.”

“She didn’t want beauty to die.” You told him and he nodded. Everyone knew that about her. Some people had thought her vain. But in her eyes it was her culture, her history. Her momma had been the same and even her momma before that.

“As long as you’re alive beauty is sure to be.” Darwin smiled at you and you smiled back, tipping your head to lay on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around you and together you watched the forest.

It was tipping into Darwin’s watch time before he spoke again, calling your name softly to see if you were awake. You hummed sleepily and he chuckled.

“We could’ve been so easy, you know?” He asked, sighing wistfully. You sat up as if you had been scolded and he reached for your hand in apology. “I know, you don’t like men. But if you did it would be easy.”

“Yeah. I’ve always known, you know?” You asked him, laughing humorlessly. “I didn’t get crushes on boys so I just ignored it. And then I met Ellie.”

“Did you ever even try?” Darwin asked, pulling back to look at you. “Did you just write all men off?”

“I didn’t need to try. I knew.” You didn’t like the accusation in his tone and so you leaned back away from him. He released your hand to run a hand through his hair. “I’ve always known.”

“You can’t know something like that.” You opened your mouth to argue with him and he pressed forward, his hand tangling in your hair and holding you in place. He forced himself on you, kissing you so hard your teeth bruised your lips and you gasped.

His tongue invaded your mouth while his hands pawed at your chest. You struggled to push away from him but he was stronger than you. The only sound was the click of your safety, the gun against his stomach.

He froze, not releasing you entirely but pulling his lips back from yours. “What are you doing?”

“Get your hands off me. Right now.” You warned, your voice shaky. He raised both hands, pulling away slowly from you. “If you ever touch me again I-”

“You won’t use that gun, sweetheart.” Even with his hands raised he was cocky about it and you knew he was right. You didn’t shoot infected never mind living people.

“I won’t have to. Joel is plenty fond of using his.” You warned standing up and walking back towards the screen door. He didn’t follow you inside and you paused inside the door.

Eugene and Joel were unmoved. Ellie had rolled over to face the back of the sofa but she was still. You took a moment to gather yourself, wiping the tears off your face.

Your hands were shaking as you returned to your bed roll, pulling it closer to Joel. You pulled the blanket up over your head and tried not to shake with your sobs, freezing when the creak of the screen door signaled Darwin’s return inside.

///

“You okay there, Princess?” Eugene asked quietly. The other three had pulled ahead, the early morning chatter driving you and him a few meters back. When you didn’t answer Eugene tried again. “Princess, you with me?”

“Huh?” You blinked at him, shaking your head and then looking back to him. “I was in my own world. Sorry.”

“Hope it’s damn better than this one.” He sighed and you huffed a laugh before sighing yourself. Ellie and Joel were chatting up the front. Darwin interjected every once in a while but Ellie seemed to be trying to exclude him.

Your eyes were dry from crying and the headache you had wasn’t aided by the sun that was beating down on top of you. Your stomach turned every time Darwin looked back at you.

You wanted to scream at him to stop looking at you. You wanted to tell Joel and Eugene what he had done to you so that they could leave his body in the woods. You wanted to dig your heels in to your horse and gallop into the woods where no one would ever touch you again.

Instead you clutched the reins so your hand wouldn’t shake and you nudged your horse into speeding up to take the lead before Joel could call you.

You were closer to the bloater, somewhere within an hour of its stumbling steps. It was traveling in a wide arc and with time it would return to Jackson’s area. It made the trip worth it. For everyone but you it seemed.

It took less than fifteen minutes for you to land on the bloaters tail. There was scraps of what counted as flesh on the trees, trampled plants and a lack of nature sounds in the area.

When the horses grew too loud you left them back, tying their reins to the trees. Eugene took the lead with Joel following up on the end of the group. The bloater was easy tracked from here.

Eugene had his shotgun loaded and Joel had his rifle. Ellie was using her pistol but she had a Molotov cocktail to get things started. You held your pistol in your grip and hoped you wouldn’t need it. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Darwin and ensure he had a loaded gun.

The bloater was trying to navigate the forest and found difficulty in getting past the dense trees. Every couple of feet it stumbled and almost knocked itself over.

It was pathetic to watch but you knew once the first shot was taken it would no longer be this stumbling mess but an evolved killing machine.

Joel lifted a hand and pointed at Ellie to stay. Eugene and him circled around until the bloater was unknowingly surrounded. Darwin took post beside Ellie and you stood back, pistol raised and hands shaking.

With a nod Ellie threw the Molotov which burst at the bloaters feet. The infected screeched and roared when Ellie followed with two shots from her pistol.

Eugene raised his shotgun as you looked around. A shot went off followed by Joel’s rifle and the bloater hit the ground. You were still looking around, following imprints in the ground. There was a second pair of bare feet, much smaller than the bloater. You had missed them.

You turned to warn everyone, all of them gathered by the bloater. Just behind Ellie a stalker approached. You didn’t have time to warn them when two shots sounded. The stalkers body dropped and so did you.

Your knees buckled from under you landing you in the dead leaves and branches on the ground. You had dropped your gun, hands over your ears trying to block out the sound.

Joel was checking over Ellie who had barely moved despite how close your bullets had come to her head. She was staring at the stalker, two bullets lodged in its head.

Darwin got to you first and reached for you but you scrambled away. “Don’t touch me. Don’t fucking touch me.”

You reached for your gun again and pointed it at him catching Joel and Eugene’s attention as Darwin raised his hands in surrender. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

You knew you were sobbing, your hands shaking violently. Joel and Eugene were talking to you and you knew you should listen but you couldn’t. You had shot someone. You had shot someone to save Ellie. An infected, sure. But it had been someone once.

“Hey there, Princess.” Her voice broke the quiet. “I’m gonna take that from you. I ain’t a fan of Darwin either but we can’t shoot him.”

She reached out and hit the safety on your gun before removing it from your shaking hands. You looked from Darwin to her and she shushed you when you tried to speak. “That’s okay, I just don’t wanna muck out the stalls if he’s dead.”

“I shot someone.” You whispered and Ellie shook her head. You could still see the body of the stalker so you nodded. “I did. I killed someone.”

“You saved my life, that’s what you did. You saved me.” Ellie told you and you blinked, focusing on her face. “You did your job and tracked the bloater and then you tracked the stalker. You saved my life, Princess.”

“I should’ve, I couldn’t-”

“Shh, that’s okay. Why don’t we head on home?” Ellie asked, helping you up off the ground. “Get some warm food and a decent bed to make up for last night. You okay to ride?”

“I can share with her.” Darwin reached out and you flinched away into Ellie. “It’s okay, Princess. It’s just me.”

“Don’t let him touch me.” You begged Ellie quietly. “Please don’t let him touch me.”

Ellie kept one arm around you as she guided you to the horses. She was talking to you quietly but all you could see was your shaking hands. The hands of a murderer.

“Time to get on up. You can share with me, okay?” Ellie asked. On autopilot you climbed up onto Shimmer and shifted forward when the press of Ellie warmed against your back.

“You and I are gonna talk when we get home.” Joel muttered in the background and you released a breath. Joel would protect you just like always.

///

You were in your bed. You didn’t know how you had gotten there. You were also in pyjamas. You didn’t remember putting them on. You felt off balance and shaky as you swung your legs over the edge of your bed.

The light behind your curtains told you it was midday but the last thing you remembered was closing in on the bloater with the others. When you staggered to your feet it came back to you slowly.

The stalker. You had shot it. Darwin’s hands reaching for you. Ellie and her calming voice trying to soothe you on the ride back to Jackson.

You opened your bedroom door and listened closely for voices. You and Dina lived together in your mommas old house. It wasn’t so much an offer you had made but a decision Maria had. Housing was better used for families than one single person and so Dina had joined you when her family were gone.

When you reached the living room Ellie was asleep on the sofa which surprised you. She had said something about beds. You could remember that much.

You wiped your eyes tiredly and fought a yawn as you stepped into the living room. She hadn’t changed her clothes or even gone home. Her pack was by the top of the sofa. You nudged one of her legs and her eyes opened slowly.

She sniffled a bit, a hand running over her face. When she blinked and looked up she saw you and rushed to sit up on the sofa. “You’re awake!”

“Just barely. What are you doing here?” You asked, confused. Ellie’s eyes tracked the length of your body and you folded your arms across your chest. Your pajamas weren’t the most attractive attire. “How did I get here?”

“I brought you home.” Ellie explained, patting the space beside her. You took a seat but left more distance than she had intended between you both. “You were sort of out of it for a while.”

“Yeah, that’s happens sometimes.” You muttered and looked down at your hands. “Did you put me to bed?”

“No. That was all Dina. I’ve been down here the whole time, I swear.” You nodded at her words and yawned again. Ellie didn’t say anything and you had nothing to say so you leaned back on the sofa and pulled your legs up under you.

You almost drifted off again when Ellie cleared her throat. You turned your head to look at her but she was staring down at her hands instead of meeting your eyes. “Darwin told us what happened.”

“Did he now?” You asked. Your hands tightened into fists so that they wouldn’t shake and you turned your face away from her to hide your expression. “I’m sure it was very informative.”

“He told us he kissed you.” Ellie sighed and you scoffed, shaking your head. “Yeah, Joel didn’t believe that story. So he asked him again, a little more forceful.”

“Oh.” You weren’t sure what else to say to that. You didn’t like the thought of people getting hurt but Darwin hadn’t cared about hurting you. “Is Joel gonna be in trouble?”

“No. Darwin isn’t going to talk to anyone about what happened.” Ellie assured you and you nodded slowly, your lips pursed. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Wasn’t you, was it?” You asked quietly. You fixed your gaze on the wall and picked at the skin around your nails. “Why haven’t you gone home?”

“Because I wanted to make sure that you were okay. And I wanted to apologise because I seen him do it. I saw him kiss you and I turned around and went back to bed.” You continued to stare at the wall and didn’t even try to fight the tears that welled in your eyes. “I didn’t know what it was. I heard arguing and I was just checking on you both. When I looked out you were kissing.”

You tried to fight it. The lump in your throat. Ellie was desperate to explain to you and you knew it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have known. But she should’ve known something hadn’t been right.

You sniffed and wiped at your face, flinching away from her hand when she reached for you. You blinked and more tears fell. “You guys were the first. You, Jesse and Dina. I hadn’t even admitted to myself really.”

You sniffed again and wiped under your nose with your sleeve. You probably looked a mess right now but for the first time in your life you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “I uh- I never told my Momma. I didn’t know how she’d feel, always wanted me to find a husband. Give her grandbabies.”

“I told Darwin that I ignored it. That I always knew but I pushed it down.” Ellie stayed silent as you swallowed past the lump in you throat, wiping your eyes roughly with your sleeves. It took you a couple of seconds to get talking again and Ellie stared at her lap, picking her nails. “I told him it was you that helped me realize it. That helped me be confident enough to come out.”

Ellie opened her mouth but you only shook your head, raising you hand to stop her. Your hand was shaking and you clenched it into a fist letting it drop back down into your lap. “I’ve had people tell me I’m too pretty to be gay. I trusted you all to believe me.”

“So you’re saying this is my fault?” Ellie asked in shock and you sniffed again shaking your head. You scrubbed your hand over your face and swallowed past the recurring lump. “That’s what it fucking sounds like.”

“It’s no one faults but Darwin. He shouldn’t have done what he did but didn’t you question it for a second?” You asked her desperately. “Wasn’t there some part of you that wondered why I would do that with him. A man who has a history of being a little too forceful with his come ons?”

“How the hell was I supposed to know you hadn’t changed your mind? You always flirt with him! You were dancing together and you get dinner!” Ellie was yelling now but you didn’t have it in you to yell back. You were so drained of energy. “The short fucking skirts and tight jeans? Your tits are out most of the damn time.”

Ellie covered her mouth when your head snapped to look at her. Your jaw had dropped and your eyes widened as he words sunk in. “So it’s my fault?”

“No- that’s not what I’m-” Ellie stuttered out a half response and you stared at her. Waiting for something different. Waiting for her to explain it.

“You gave me the confidence to come out. To be myself and dress how I like. To not care about people thinking I’m too pretty to be gay. And everyday since you’ve chipped away at that confidence. You can have it all. Just get out of my house.” You spoke evenly but your voice cracked at the end and you swallowed. “Don’t come back. I don’t care if it’s to see Dina, I don’t care if the house is on fire, I don’t care if the walls of Jackson fall down. Just don’t come back.”

“Princess, please-”

“Get the fuck out! Get out now!” You screamed at her and she raised her hands in defense, heading for the door. You watched her leave before curling up on the sofa and crying yourself back to a fitful sleep.

///

“You okay?” You nodded at Dina as you grabbed your bag off the chair in the kitchen. She held out a mug and you sipped at it between attempts to slip into your boots. “New jeans?”

“Don’t.” You hadn’t talked about any of it you didn’t tell her why you argued with Ellie, why she couldn’t come around anymore. You didn’t give any excuse other than the colder weather for the reason you were covered in layers. “I’ve got an early patrol. I’ll make dinner.”

Dina watched you tie your hair back into a loose ponytail at the base of your skull. It hadn’t been curled since that disastrous patrol. Your face was usually free of make up now and Dina finally understood what you had tried to explain.

The beauty was half of who you were. Your sunny disposition was the other half. Without you putting effort into either halves you were just a shell, pushing through each day.

“I’m off today. I can make dinner. We can have some people over. Jesse, maybe Joel and Ellie?” Dina offered and you looked up from your mug, eyes narrowed. “Or not Ellie?”

“I don’t want her in the house, Dina.” You warned her, checking your gun was loaded before tucking it into the holster by your hip. “It’s non-negotiable.”

“If you would just tell me why I could help.” Dina insisted. She stopped in front of you and reached for your arms. You flinched away from her. “You went on patrol and you came back different. Eugene says you shot a stalker and it shook you? Why is Ellie the bad guy?”

“God, Dina! No one is the bad guy, okay?” You snapped, pulling away from her further, taking steps backwards. “It was time I got my priorities in order.”

Dina couldn’t reply before you turned on your heel and left the house, the door slamming behind you. She sighed and watched out the window as you headed for the stables.

Eugene was waiting for you when you arrived, tossing a pair of sunglasses at you. You almost fumbled, catching them at the last second. “Time you stop complaining, ain’t it?”

“Where’d you find ‘em?” You asked, sliding them on against the sunshine. You grinned and Eugene and he smiled back, leading you toward the two prepared horses.

“I didn’t. Someone passed them along for you.” Your grin dropped. You knew what that was code for. You busted a boot a week ago, a new pair waited on the porch in the days that followed. Now there was sunglasses while you were heading out on patrol.

“She should mind her own business.” You didn’t take the sunglasses off though. You needed them and they were a rarity these days. You pulled yourself up onto your horse, patting Henry on his neck as you headed for the gates.

“Think she feels bad. Don’t know why, ain’t her fault. Ain’t anyones fault. Accidents happen on a patrol, you shot the stalker. Everyone survived.” Eugene muttered waving the guards of the gate off. You nodded at Jesse when he shouted his goodbye.

“It’s a more personal issue.” You explained and Eugene nodded. You didn’t elaborate further and let him draw his own conclusions.

The patrol went easy, it was more a chance to enjoy the sun while riding through the forest. At the last outpost Eugene pulled his horse to a stop and you copied him, lifting your sunglasses to watch him.

“I told them we’d be late back. That we’d have a stop to make.” He offered you a grin and you took him up on that grin, turning your horse to where you knew he wanted to go.

///

You tossed yourself down on the sofa hand extended towards Eugene. He only laughed at you but he did in fact hand over the joint. You inhaled deeply from it and coughed a little.

“Doing God’s work, you know that?” You asked him with a sigh, tilting your head back to look at the ceiling above you.

“Feel like if anyone could do with some relaxin’ then it’d be you.” Eugene sat back on a stool, his own joint between his lips. “Now tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head, Princess.”

“It’s fucking stupid.” You sighed before inhaling again. You counted the cracks in the ceilings before throwing your arm over your eyes. “Darwin crossed a line. A big line.”

“Explained Joel near breaking his nose.” Eugene replied. You hadn’t seen Darwin in the month or so since that patrol but the rumors had reached you that he had returned with a bloody and bruised nose. “He hurt you?”

“He kissed me. Tried to prove some point that I didn’t like men cause I hadn’t tried them.” You explained and Eugene scoffed.

“I ain’t tried men and I sure as shit know I don’t like ‘em. Why would anyone want a man when there’s women?” Eugene asked. You couldn’t help but laugh at him, nodding in agreement. You inhaled again from the joint and lifted your arm to look at Eugene.

“Ellie, well she, I mean. You know how I felt about her, right?” You asked and Eugene only rolled his eyes releasing a puff of smoke. “I mean everyone knew how I felt. I loved her, I think.”

“Yeah, you’d have to be blind not to see it. That past tense is throwing me off though.” Eugene admitted. “What’s caused that?”

“Well she, I mean she saw it right? And she just thought I was kissin’ him. But she knew. Knew I didn’t like men. But she just went back to sleep. Now I ain’t blamin’ her. I ain’t. But why would she do that?” You asked Eugene. “I was just sitting there and he was holding me so I couldn’t pull away. She didn’t even try.”

“Sounds a lot like blame to me.” Eugene huffed and you frowned at him. “Probably sounded like it to Ellie too.”

“I’m not blaming her. I’m blaming Darwin. He’s the one who did it, he’s the one who hurt me.” You argued. “But she didn’t even second guess it.”

“You’re embarrassed. You never let Ellie see you anywhere less than perfect. Suddenly she sees you at the lowest you’ve ever been and you can’t cope with the embarrassment of that.” Eugene ran his fingers through his beard.

“Where in the fuck did that come from?” You asked in shock, sitting up on the couch. “You got a psychology degree or some shit?”

“I got life experience.” He rolled his eyes like it was obvious. “You can’t blame Ellie for Darwin’s actions.”

“I can blame her for her reaction. She said it was my fault, that I led him on. The way I acted and the way I dressed. Like I was asking for it.” You told him with a huff, inhaling one last time. “I shouldn’t have to dress a certain way to be safe.”

“No. You shouldn’t. But we also shouldn’t be stuck on this doomed rock fighting fucking monsters. Things aren’t always as they should be.” He sighed and you pouted at him. “Wearing the clothes you do makes you a target. Now it shouldn’t but it does. Being nice to Darwin though, that’s not leading him on. You were just tryna be his friend.”

“So now I have to dress like this all my life so men don’t think they got a right to me? I gotta forget what my momma thought me? Stop being pretty?” You asked and Eugene shrugged. “I don’t want to do that.”

“You already did. You don’t do your hair or makeup anymore. You’re wearing baggy clothes now.” Eugene pointed out and you sighed. He wasn’t wrong. “The thing is though. You’re still pretty. You’re beauty wasn’t cause a some powder or some curls. Your beauty comes from being the sweet girl you are.”

“You’re a sap.”

“Blame the weed.”

///

“I’ve got a present.” You could still feel the effects of the joint, partly responsible for your good mood when you stepped inside. You kicked off your boots and dropped your bag, passing the living room and heading for the kitchen only to pause and take two steps back.

Ellie was sitting on your sofa. Alone.

“Where’s Dina?” You asked quietly and Ellie shrugged, her lips pursed. “Thought I told you not to come around no more.”

“Dina said you changed your mind. To wait for you to get home so we could talk.” Ellie pushed herself up off the sofa. "But I'm guessing that's not true because it's not the kind of conversation to be had while high."

"Obviously it's not true. Didn't realize I'm not allowed to smoke. Guess I can't be pretty or fun anymore." You scoffed, shaking your head. "For someone who doesn't want to date me, you sure have a lot of expectations."

"I didn't say you couldn't be fun. I shouldn't have said what I said. I was wrong for that." Ellie sighed. "But I never said I didn't want to date you."

"Ellie, it might have taken me a while but I'm not an idiot. I get all dressed up so you'll look at me. I curl my hair hoping you'd run your fingers through it. I wear lipstick hoping I'll smudge it against your lips. I loved you and you never even looked at me twice." You sighed and stepped closer to Ellie. "You made me doubt my worth."

"Why would I need to look twice?" Ellie asked, a disbelieving laugh on her lips. She stepped closer to you, tilting her head and looking you over from head to toe. "I never looked away the first time."

"Oh."

Oh.

You swallowed nervously when she stepped closer, her hand landing on your hip softly to pull you the final step closer. You looked down at her hand and back up to her eyes. She was watching you, watching your reaction.

"I was trying to be better. Men look at you like they own you. People treat your beauty like it's theirs to take. I wanted to be better." She explained, barely a whisper. "I wanted you to know I liked you despite how tight your jeans were and how short your skirts were."

"How noble of you." You tried for sarcasm but it fell flat. "You could've just explained."

"I could've. Every time I tried I just sounded like an asshole." She shrugged and you swallowed, your mouth and throat dry. She was leaning in when you stepped back.

"I'm high. We shouldn't kiss like this." You whispered and Ellie nodded. She lifted a hand, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear with a small smile. "But I do wanna kiss you."

"How about you come find me when you're sober then?" She asked and you nodded, leaning into her hand. "We'll see about smudging some of that lipstick."

///

"Heading out, don't know when I'll be back." You yelled, hopping around to pull your boots on at the front door. You weren't quick enough and Dina leaned against the frame of the living room door, looking you over.

"You look hot," Dina observed and you nodded, fixing your hair in the mirror by the door. "Where are you headed?"

"Momma wouldn't ask me that, bless her soul." You huffed a laugh and swung your bag over your shoulder. "You and Jesse have manners while I'm gone, ya hear me?"

"You didn't answer the question!" Dina yelled and you opened the door, turning to look at her over your shoulder. "Where're you going?"

"Out, don't wait up, Mom." You called hurrying down the porch steps and getting away from her invasive questions. She knew where you were going. She had to. Ellie had been allowed back into the house and the pair of you were dancing around each other all week.

Ellie opened the garage door the second you knocked and you smiled brightly at her as you passed by her to get inside. You had been in Ellie's garage more times than you could count but you had never seen it so tidy.

"You clean up just for me?" You asked her as you dropped your bag by the end of her sofa. She rolled her eyes and shut the door but you could see the blush on her cheeks. She was embarrassed and it was oddly sweet.

"You dress up just for me?" Ellie asked, eyebrows raised. You on the other hand were prepared for her question. You nodded and held your arms out, a slow twirl just for her. You had no doubt she was getting the best view. "Damn, Princess.”

“It’s nice to have you appreciating me for once.” You hummed, finishing your twirl and leaning back against the arm of her sofa. “Make sure you get a good look.”

“For once?” She asked as she stepped away from the door and towards you. You only pursed your lips to hide your smile. “I once fell off Shimmer cause I was too busy staring at your ass.”

“You said your stirrup snapped!” You laughed in delight. She only rolled her eyes as she stepped closer. You spread your legs so that she could stand between them. “Tell me more.”

“That black eye I had two months back?” She asked and you nodded. “The door of the diner swung back and hit me because you had that tied off blouse on.”

“You liked that one?” You asked with a grin and she nodded, her hand coming to rest on the bare skin on your waist between your shorts and your top. “What about this one?”

It was a ribbed camisole that you had tucked up to leave your navel on display. Ellie took care to run her thumb under the fabric of it and let her hand slide from your waist across your stomach. She tapped her finger on the button of your shorts.

“Embroider these yourself?” She asked and you nodded in excitement, your fingers tracing down over the star embroidery.

“My momma thought me. And I have this book that helps with anything she didn’t get to teach me. It’s actually not so bad. And it’s a real constellation its-”

“Cassiopeia.” Ellie finished for you, her fingers following your path and tracing the familiar constellation. “I had a bit of a space thing for a while. Wanted to be an astronaut.”

“My momma found this Barbie doll for me once. It was Astronaut Barbie. She had this pink suit and she was so pretty and I knew if she was pretty and smart then I could be too.” Your voice grew quiet at the end and Ellie laughed, her crooked finger lifting your chin.

“That’s real cute, baby.” She teased and you chewed on your bottom lip. “So now you’re the prettiest girl in Jackson and the best damn tracker I’ve ever seen.”

“Prettiest girl?” You asked, an eyebrow raised. Ellie rolled her eyes and instead of giving in to you fishing for compliments she leaned in and kissed you.

It was only a sweet press of lips, innocent compared to what you had expected. Ellie pulled away only to press a trail of kisses down to your jaw and then followed the bone up to your ear.

“Now we can do one of two things.” She whispered, her teeth nipping at your ear lobe. “We can put on a movie, cuddle under a blanket and make out.”

“What’s my other option?” You asked, your breath hitching as she kissed down the side of your neck. Still just innocent pressed of her lips.

“I take off these pretty little shorts and I fuck you dumb.” Your whole body trembled as she spoke against your collar bone. “Oh you like that idea.”

///

“Please, please.” You’re sobbing at this point, your fingers tangled in Ellie’s hair. She’s been eating you out to the point of two orgasms and she’s only just pushing a finger into you now. “Ellie, please.”

“Please what?” Ellie asks innocently. You look down at her, releasing your death grip of her hair and she looks up at you. Her chin is shiny with you and she licks her lips as you watch. Your head thumps back against her pillows. “Use your words, I haven’t fucked you yet. You can’t be this dumb just from my finger and tongue.”

“Fuck me.” You moaned as she added a second finger. “Need you to fuck me.”

Ellie, never being one to be unprepared, had surprised you. While getting undressed you had found Ellie wearing a strap and it had sped up the whole process of getting clothes off.

“Hmm, I don’t know if you’re ready for my cock, baby.” She hums and you groan, your pussy tightening around her fingers. “Maybe another finger?”

“Ellie, babe, your cock, please. Please.” You were crying actual tears and begging without shame for her. You had wanted it in your since you had found it on her and you were so frustrated you had resorted to tears.

“Oh there’s my big dumb baby.” Ellie teased, withdrawing her fingers. You looked down at her and she was spreading your slick over the head of her cock. “Awh, is my baby crying? Your pussy so needy for my cock that it brought you to tears, huh?”

You could only nod, sniffling. She took your chin between her thumb and finger and tilted your head down so you could watch her cock press into you. “Fucking yes!”

“That feel good?” Ellie asked and you sobbed, pushing down against her slow place. “You gonna fuck yourself on my dick baby? Gonna do all the work?”

“Please. I can. I can ride you.” You offered but Ellie only shook her head.

“Not the first time. I’m gonna fuck you just like this for the first time. Then I’m gonna fuck you in every position you can contort this pretty body into. It’s gonna be a long night baby.” Ellie warned and your eyes rolled back in your head as your third orgasm overtook you.

///

Ellie was lying on her back, one arm behind her head and the other wrapped around you where you lay on her shoulder. She was tracing patterns against your spine and you were trying to guess the patterns but your brain was floating way above your body.

“I like when you dress up. I like how confident you are and how bright you smile when I like what you’re wearing.” Ellie told you quietly. “But like this? Sleepy and a mess. Well I just know I fell in love with that version of you, the morning we argued.”

“Fell in love?” You asked her, your thoughts coming back down to earth. You looked up at her, a slight tilt of your head but she didn’t look at you. “You’re in love with me?”

“How couldn’t I be, baby? A sweet little dumb baby in bed and smart, gorgeous woman who’s a force unto her own out on the streets of Jackson. You don’t make it hard to love you.” She promised, pushing you hair behind your ear.

“You already know I love you too. Even if you do bully me in bed.” You giggled and she grinned at you. “It’s kind of hot actually.”

“Hmm, we’ll explore that another time, get some sleep.” She whispered, ducking down to kiss your forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

#ellie williams x afab reader #Ellie Williams x you #Ellie Williams x reader #Ellie Williams #lesbian reader #the last of us #tlou Ellie #Joel miller #dina tlou #Jesse tlou

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fictionalwh0ree · 1 year

Text

the gang dating a stoner hcs

warnings: mentions weed and alcohol

a/n: as someone who's a lowkey stoner, i wrote this with the reader being someone who doesn't look like they'd be a stoner.

johnny cade

definitely doesn’t mind that you smoke

he’s maybe tried it once but never enough that he felt anything

one day he tries it with you

he immediately understands why you do it

johnny has a lot of issues and has a lot of baggage, smoking weed helps him calm down

you’re happy that it makes him happy

but that can also be dangerous

you worry about him getting hooked to the feeling, so you make sure he only ever does it with you

thankfully its illegal and since johnny is kind of skittish, he doesn’t go after it on his own

smoking with him is a mix of calm and paranoia

hes paranoid while you’re smoking

worrying about the smell, who’s around, your eyes, etc

but once its done, he’s calm

you spend many late nights just dozing off in each others arms after smoking

also many deep talks

overall, he’s grateful for you (and it) and he accepts your habits

dallas winston

he LOVES that you’re lowkey a stoner

there’s something about how you look when your eyes are all droopy and red that turns him onnnnn

(he also finds you being able to roll hot, idk why)

he definitely does it here and there

but he loves to smoke with you

on a rare night, you two will get crossed at bucks and will probably end up fucking

high sex is his favvvvv

he’ll take you to the drive-in after you smoke

those are probably the only times you’ll pay attention to a movie around him

he’s very rebellious so he doesn’t worry about you getting caught very often

he’ll even steal snacks for you

he lets you crash in his bed if you’re super slumped

you love cuddling with him if you’re high

something about the warmth and skin to skin just feels so much better

he definitely finds it funny when you’re high

he’ll laugh about you demolishing your food

he definitely laughs when you start sharing your high thoughts with him

and he finds it especially funny when you find something funny and can’t stop laughing

you’ve definitely been caught in some dumb ass situations where you look at each other and have to find a way to hold in the laughter

ponyboy curtis

definitely has never smoked

he knows its illegal, so he was definitely surprised to find out you do it

at first, you kept it separate from him

you know his brother would kill him if he tried

you didn’t smoke around him and were never really high around him

until one time you were headed home after a smoke session with your friends and you ran into him

he invited you to the drive- in with the gang

steve and dally could definitely tell

ponyboy could tell something was off but couldn’t pinpoint it

he bought you a popcorn and you couldn’t shut up about how much better it tasted

“has this popcorn always been this good?”

“it doesn’t taste any different than the last time we had it”

“are you sure?”

“are you okay”

dally definitely broke the news to him and it hit him quick

after that, pony started asking you questions about weed

“what does it feel like to be high?”

“does food actually taste better?”

“does it taste like a cigarette?”

you asked him if he wanted to try it one day so you waited until a day where his house was completely empty and smoked

after one hit, he was coughing like crazy

no amount of cigarettes could’ve prepared him for that

he couldn’t smoke very much because of the coughing but he got high and finally understood the food thing

tore apart any food available

he really loves to watch the sunset when he’s high

he thinks the colours and scenery are so much more detailed and pretty

he’s the type to turn into a poet when he’s high

but in the end the coughing was not worth it so he only does it very rarely (and only with you)

its a very special occasion when pony smokes, so you always make sure its a good experience and you do everything so darry will never find out

sodapop curtis

he’s definitely tried it before

he was not a fan

(he wasn’t inhaling it right so he never felt it and thought it was pointless)

he was very surprised when he found out you smoked

he always makes sure you’re careful with it

he takes extra care of you when you’re high

he makes sure you don’t have to talk to anyone

will take you to go get whatever you’re craving

he’s also a fan of the high eyes

he thinks its cute when you laugh at dumb things you wouldn’t usually find that funny

he’s very observant so he can definitely tell when you’re high and even if you’ve smoked at all

you taught him how to inhale

unfortunately he’s a bit of a paranoid high person so you don’t smoke with him

he always feels his senses heightened

this boy will hear a cop car coming from five blocks away and then panic as if you’re not sitting inside his house

however he is the type to EAT when he’s high

he’s like a bottomless pit

but hes also sodapop curtis so he’ll stay skinny anyway

darry curtis

darry definitely tried weed in high school

i mean he was on the football team

but he’s not a fan

too much risk not enough reward

so when it comes to dating a stoner

he’d probably rather not

but if he is

you just have to keep it separate

you don’t smoke around him and you’re never really high around him

he doesn’t mind the habit as long as you don’t let it affect your ambition

darry is a workaholic, he looks for a partner with drive

so as long as you smoking weed isn’t interfering with your job its fine

he would never date someone who is always high

he’s okay with it if its more of a couple days a week type thing

once you’ve been dating a while, he makes it clear that you can smoke and be high around him

because he’d rather you do it around him then alone or out on the streets

he thinks its cute when you’re high

he likes how you’re giggly

he’ll cook for you

and he likes how affectionate you get

he smoked with you ONCE

he, like sodapop, is the type to eat like there’s no tomorrow

after it was done, the entire gang unexpectedly showed up at his house

they could tell

darry’s eyes were practically bloodshot red

ponyboy took advantage of calm darry and got to stay out late

“get him high more often y/n”

they tried to keep their laughs to themselves but it didn’t work

two-bit especially could not contain himself around darry and couldn’t look at him without laughing

you definitely fucked after and the high sex was almost enough to get him to smoke again

but he could never EVER let the gang see him like that again

he only got high with you again after you learnt how to make edibles

two-bit matthews

two-bit loves that you smoked

funniest couple ever

you love smoking with and around him because he makes you laugh so hard

funny sober = super funny high

you two will laugh until you’re clutching your stomachs in pain

he’ll finish a whole chocolate cake high

two-bit is not a sit down and relax type of high person

there’s two potential reasons

a) he’s just like that

b) he’s always a little drunk so he just ends up slightly crossed

he’s super social and bounces off the walls

so sometimes you have to let him just go out with his friends

once he comes down from it all he’s super tired

you guys WILL take naps together

you’ll sleep from 11am-4pm

or you’ll go to bed at 2am and wake up at 1pm

it all depends but the two of you are heavy ass sleepers after smoking

the house could’ve blown up and neither of you would notice

steve randle

he has also tried smoking before, but never too much

he had basically forgotten it existed until you

he doesn’t like it when you smoke alone so if you’re not with friends, sometimes he’ll smoke with you

it actually helps him focus a lot

if he can work on a car high, he will

it becomes the only thing that matters

gets you dx discounts on snacks

he’s pretty quiet high so the two of you will often spend your time watching a move with his arm around your shoulder

he’s lowkey strict with it because he doesn’t want you to get caught

so he doesn’t let you smoke in very public places or in broad daylight unless you’re somewhere safe

doesn’t let you meet your dealer alone

he’s protective of you when you’re high because he thinks it makes you a bit more vulnerable

he’ll do all the talking

he doesn’t like people who spend their entire day high

he’s okay with it as long as you’re not a bum because of it

#the outsiders #dallas winston x reader #ponyboy x reader #darry curtis x reader #sodapop x reader #two bit matthews x reader #steve randle x reader #johnny cade x reader #the outsiders headcanons

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roses-for-rosalyn · 1 year

Text

The Old Church Parking Lot

Look, I had an idea for a fic and all the sudden it was 4:00 am. I promise one day I'll write a fic where reader isn't a goddamn pillow princess, but today is not that day. Enjoy my darlings.

word count: 3k

minors dni pretty please 🔞

content warnings: Dealer! Ellie, innocent reader, friends to lovers, drug use 🍃, kissing, teasing, oral (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), reader being a pillow princess

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“You’re joking.” Ellie raises her eyebrows at you like she actually expects you to take it back. “You have been on this earth for 19 years and you haven’t smoked weed?” You shake your head. “Ever?” You can’t help but laugh, her stunned expression doesn’t leave her face. She won’t take her eyes off you despite the fact that she’s literally driving.

“Eyes on the fucking road Els Jesus.” She nods and hesitantly turns back to look at the street. “I just never had the chance I guess.” You shrug your shoulders. “Grew up in a small town, not many friends. We mostly just got drunk. It was easier, and less illegal.” You have no idea why this information shocks Ellie to her core, but there’s something else there, an excitement maybe?

“We’re gonna fix that. Tonight. I’ll pick you up after work.” She was definitely excited and extremely eager. She pulls into your driveway and puts the car in park.

“Oh yeah? And where are you gonna get it from, not exactly like there’s a store we can stop at.”

Ellie looks straight ahead and tales a beat before she answers “I kind of…deal the stuff.” She still won’t look at you. “It’s a side gig type thing, helps me stay afloat.” You can’t say you're shocked. You haven’t known Ellie long, she was one of those friends that you kind of just started spending a shit ton of time with out of nowhere. She was still new to you even though it felt like you’d known her your whole life, you were still learning about each other slowly.

“Ok that’s…incredibly convenient, but where do we go?” You were both home from college for the summer, hence living with your parents. Ellie turns to face you, she brings her hand up to her mouth and starts biting her nail in concentration. It was an incredibly cute little habit, you could see her brain working to find a solution.

“We’ll sit in the old church parking lot, I can drive us home after.”

“Works for me.” You shrug. “See you later I guess.” You smile at Ellie and she has this devilish smirk on her face like she knows something you don’t.

“God I can’t wait.” Her voice was breathy and low, something you hadn’t heard before, but it was incredibly…attractive. You go to open the car door and step out onto your driveway.

“See ya.”

“Bye.” You shut the door and head inside, having no idea what you have just agreed to.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have tried on your entire closet at this point. You usually weren’t like this with Ellie, normally you couldn’t care less what you looked like, but something felt different between you two lately. The type of different where you felt like you needed to look good when you saw her. You’re not gonna dwell on it though, that would just make everything worse.

You finally settle on just an old, cropped graphic tee and jeans. It’s something you wore all the time, unfortunately your whole wardrobe was strewn about your floor, so this was the best option.

Jesus why were you nervous? Probably because you were about to do drugs for the first time. Definitely no other reason.

You pass the time by doing your makeup. It always helps you relax, makes you feel good inside and out. Before you knew it Ellie was texting you she was on her way. She pulls into the driveway, her headlights lighting up your living room. You begin the trek out your front door to her car. It feels like it takes forever, you go through each motion as if you're moving through water. You finally get to her small car and open the passenger door.

“Hey princess.” Ellie is smiling ear to ear, you’re not sure you’ve ever seen her this elated.

“Hey.” You can’t help but laugh at her exaggerated expression.

“You ready? You excited?” She’s still smiling, she looks fucking adorable, it’s ridiculous.

“Definitely not as excited as you clearly are.” You can’t help but be a little nervous trying something new, but you were trying it with someone you trusted.

“We’re gonna have fun. Promise.” With that she turns up the music and pulls out of your driveway.

On the way to the parking lot you and Ellie belt out 90s hits at the top of your lungs. The windows are down, the wind blowing on your face and through your hair. It almost completely gets rid of any nerves you had. You look over at Ellie, watching her exaggerated expressions and hand movements. She acts out the words in the song like she’s performing. You can’t help but smile at her ridiculousness.

You pull into the parking lot and Ellie turns the radio down. Her arm reaches over your lap to the glove box. Her arm faintly brushes your thighs as she opens it. She pulls out a little baggie with what you would assume are blunts in it.

“These are pre-rolls. Normally you would have someone else test them out first. This shit could easily be laced with fentanyl, which can kill you. You don’t know where it comes from, you never touch it first.” She looks at you with a serious expression on her face. “Got it?” You nod vigorously, she is obviously in her element here, trying to teach you everything she knows to keep you safe. “Words princess, that’s the most important thing I’ll teach you tonight.”

“Yup, got it.” Why is this so incredibly hot? The way she wants to make sure you’re safe, she’s acting like a stern teacher and it's severely throwing you off.

She smiles and then continues “But, since you’re getting it from me, and I know where this has been and where it’s from, we’re safe.” You smile and nod, appreciating the reassurance. She takes the preroll from the baggie and grabs a lighter from the console.

“So you’ve never smoked anything before?” You shake your head “Ok so I’m gonna light this end,” She taps the tapered end of the roll, “You’re going to put your lips around it like a straw and inhale once to get it into your mouth, and then a second time to get it to your lungs.”

“That made absolutely zero sense to me.” Ellie laughs, shaking her head.

“You want me to go first, so you can watch?” Oh god yes.

“Yeah, that might make it easier.” Ellie nods and brings the preroll to her lips. She lights it with her green gas station lighter and you watch her inhale as she puts the lighter back down. She exhales a cloud of smoke towards you and you are immediately turned on. Why did she have to make exhaling seductive?

“Your turn.” She hands you the roll and you take it between two fingers. You bring it to your lips like Ellie said. Inhale once, twice. Fuck.

You immediately feel the smoke tickle your lungs and throat. You cough out the smoke rather than elegantly exhaling as Ellie did. God, it fucking burns.

“Try to breathe through your nose babe, here I brought a water bottle for ya.” You immediately grab the water bottle, trading Ellie for the blunt, you eagerly gulp it down. The water sort of soothes the burn, your violent coughing turning into heavy breathing.

“You didn’t warn me I’d have a fucking asthma attack.” You cough again while Ellie giggles at your pain.

“I forgot. But I knew you wouldn’t die, plus the surprise on your face was kind of funny.” She takes another hit and passes it back to you. You try again, but a smaller breath this time. It doesn’t burn as much this time.

“I also forgot to mention, like how this shit makes you feel. It’s different for everyone really.” You pass the preroll back to Ellie. “Mostly it just makes you relax, but some people get talkative, some get sleepy, and most people get incredibly hungry.” She pauses like she’s thinking of saying something but is holding back.

“What?” Ellie shakers her head.

“Nothing… I didn’t even know if I wanted to bring it up, but like it also can make everything feel incredibly good.”

“What do you mean?” This seems like it’s going in a direction you and Ellie have never really gone before. Ellie would talk about her sexual ventures with other women on occasion, but you never really discussed anything in detail about yourselves. It’s not like you would have much to add with the sex stories anyways, you just listened to Ellie and nodded. You definitely did not have the experience she had.

“Like it makes people touching you feel 100 times better.” She sighs and laughs “It basically makes most people horny.” She looks at you with a kind of sheepish look. You wouldn’t expect someone with as much experience as her being shy talking about this stuff. Was she… Blushing? It was hard to tell in the dark, you could have definitely imagined it.

You start to feel a smile tug at your lips and a warmth slowly floods your body. “I think...it’s hitting.” You giggle at literally nothing, which makes Ellie giggle. “Feels really good.” You breathe out. You caress your own arm, testing Ellie’s knowledge. “Woah.”

“What?” Ellie’s smiling at you, she decided she likes how you act high. It’s probably one of the more adorable things she’s ever seen.

“Touching does feel weird.” You continue to caress your own arm, you can feel the warmth of your own hands grazing across the small hairs of your forearm and it tickles.

“It’s usually other people touching you that feels weird, but whatever works for you over there.” You look at her and back at your arm.

“You touch me then.” You reach your arm out, eagerly inviting Ellie to come closer.

“I can’t.” She looks down, taking the last hit from the blunt. She won’t meet your eyes.

“Why?”

“If I start touching you I can’t guarantee I can stop.” She stops herself abruptly like the sentence was forced out of her. She puts out the blunt before finally looking up at you, her confession lingering in the air between you. She’s searching your eyes for any disgust or rejection. She finds none.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Ellie just looks at you, eyes wide with disbelief. You’re suddenly aware of how desperately your body is craving her touch. Your entire body ignites with a type of electricity, it courses through you causing your skin to become tingly.

Using your sudden desperation as a sort of courage you climb over to straddle Ellie’s lap. You hold onto her shoulders to steady yourself and Ellie backs the seat as far away from the steering wheel as she can. She keeps looking at you with those wide eyes. She moves her hands to cup your face gently, like she’s convinced you'll disappear. She keeps searching your eyes, looking for any hint of hesitation and all she finds is pure hunger.

She kisses you, her lips are so soft and warm you immediately relax. You move your hands from her shoulders and thread them into her hair and she kisses you harder. She uses her tongue to open up your mouth and you groan at the sensation. She moves her hands down under the hem of your shirt. She grabs your breasts and starts roughly massaging the soft skin. She pulls down one of the cups of your bra and starts teasing your nipple. She pinches it between her fingers and you moan into her mouth at the feeling. She stops the kiss to pull your shirt over your head and immediately continues as she throws your shirt into the passenger's seat. She moves her mouth down and encloses it around your nipple, you gasp at the feeling of her warm tongue sucking and circling your sensitive bud. The ache between your legs has become more noticeable, it’s demanding attention. You start grinding a bit on Ellies lap. The seam of your jeans is barely teasing your clit through your underwear. It was heavenly, but not enough.

Ellie is trying to devour you. She moves her mouth from your breasts to your neck. Exploring with gentle kisses until she finds just the right spot. She nips and sucks until you're squirming on her lap uncontrollably.

“Back seat.” She breathes out. You nod vigorously and climb off her lap and awkwardly maneuver your way to the back seat. You lean up against the car door while Ellie adjusts her seat again to make room. It gives you a moment to breathe before she moves to straddle your waist and continues where she left off. She kisses between your breasts down your stomach, gently making a trail down your body with her lips. She’s so gentle and slow, the feeling of her soft lips on your body is driving you insane.

She gets to the hem of your jeans and unbuttons them. This is where you start to realize you’re entering uncharted territory. You’re trying not to panic, but suddenly a breathy “Ellie,” Escapes from your swollen lips. She immediately pauses and looks up at you. She sees the slight nervousness in your expression and immediately understands.

“No one’s ever-” You don’t even know how to finish that sentence without embarrassing yourself.

“I know,” Her face softens “We’ll go nice and slow, tell me when I need to stop okay?”

“Okay.” You nod and Ellie continues unbuttoning your jeans. Nervous butterflies invade your stomach, despite your altered state. Ellie pulls the jeans off and throws them on the floor. She then takes off her flannel leaving her in a black tank top. Her biceps and veins are enhanced by the moonlight, You can see her muscles flex and move as she does. She moves down kissing along the hem of your panties before placing a kiss on your clit. The sight of her head between your thighs is enough to push the ache in your cunt to an unbearable level. She teases you over the fabric, rubbing her fingers up and down your slit slowly. She brushes her finger over your clit repeatedly and a desperate whine escapes from your mouth.

“I know princess, just a little longer.” Ellie is savoring you like you’re the last thing she’ll ever see. She places light kisses on your inner thighs as she continues to tease you.

Finally she moves your panties to the side. She runs a finger from your entrance to your clit collecting the wetness that pooled between your legs. You can’t help but whimper, your clit feels ten times more sensitive than usual. Every time Ellie is near it the feeling reverberates through your entire body. She blows out a breath on your cunt and the feeling is heavenly.

“Doing ok, pretty girl?” She looks up from between your legs and you have to resist squeezing them together at the sound of her voice. It was low and raspy, and every word sounded like honey.

“Yes.” You nod, your eyes squeeze shut in frustration.

“Look at me.” Her voice was lower, demanding. “I’m gonna make you feel good, I promise.” And with that she lowers her mouth onto your bare cunt. She laps at your clit lightly, she moves her tongue in circles around it, continuing her teasing. She licks from your entrance up to your sensitive bud and begins sucking on it. Your hips immediately buck up towards Ellie’s mouth at the foreign feeling. You are moaning loudly and uncontrollably, you had no idea anything could ever feel this way. It’s almost too much.

Ellie moves her finger to circle your wet hole, once you relax a little she starts to slowly push her finger into you. She makes sure to be slow and careful.

“Ellie.” You whine out once curls her finger and hits just the right spot inside you. She continues sucking on your clit and slowly curling her finger inside of you.

“God you're so tight, you gotta relax for me princess.” You try to focus on relaxing around her finger, once you do Ellie adds a second finger. Your cunt swallows it greedily and you whimper at the pressure of two of her slender fingers inside of you. She sucks at your clit even harder and you gasp out “Ellie please ‘s too much.”

Ellie pauses for a moment “I know baby, you just have to breathe for me. Here, hold onto me.” She places one of your hands on her arm which is wrapped around your thigh. You do what she says and relax under her. You try to let your body melt into her. “That’s it, you’re doing so well for me.”

She starts sucking lightly on your clit again. You impulsively use your other had to grab at her hair at the feeling. The pleasure in your stomach is starting to come to a high point, you’ve never felt this before. It was all consuming. Ellie is making little groaning sounds which vibrate through your body. You can feel her start fucking you harder, her fingers hitting that spongey spot inside of you at every thrust. Your back starts to arch while the pressure in your belly grows. Nothing has ever felt like this, it's building to a point so intense you almost start to worry.

“Els, what-” You barely get your question out before blinding pleasure takes over your body. You moan out Ellie's name loudly over and over as she continues to fuck you. It moves in waves, crashing through you causing you to buck your hip into Ellie's mouth and fingers over and over. You whimper and whine each time her fingers move in and out of you. She fucks you through the whole thing until you start squirming away.

She pulls her fingers out of you and sucks them clean. You stare in disbelief, you didn’t even know someone could do that. Your arousal was covering her lips and chin, glistening. She crawls on top of you to kiss you and you can taste yourself on her tongue. If your limbs weren’t jelly that alone would be enough to make you want to do all of that again.

“I am so glad you chose to get high with me, you have no idea.” Ellie’s smile is contagious. It has just registered you’ve never seen it like this, laying below her, it felt right.

“Yea let’s do that again sometime soon.” You both laugh a little. Ellie lays her head on your chest and sighs.

“Very soon.”

#ellie x reader #ellie tlou #ellie williams #the last of us #the last of us 2 #the last of us ellie #modern au #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #dealer!ellie #dealer!ellie smut

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artist-issues · 1 year

Text

@clown-weed

Ew. No, actually, it’s not.

That is not at all what it is about. If it were about being a little kid who’s free-thinking is beaten down by adults making you do nonsensical things out of tyranny, Alice would defeat the Red Queen. She would not have to escape the Red Queen.

Disney’s Alice in Wonderland is a cautionary tale about the kind of attitude that must have everything their own way. It is wrong when the Red Queen does it, and it is wrong when Alice insists on it, in the beginning of the movie.

Let’s be very clear about how stories work. In the opening scene, we are introduced to our main character, the little girl we’re going to follow and relate most closely to for the rest of the story. What do we learn about her? She doesn’t listen to her older sister who tries to explain that she needs her history lesson, with or without pictures, and she wants to live in “a world of her own.”

Where the flowers talk. And the animals wear clothes and talk. And she thinks it would be a Wonderland—it’s all right freaking there in the song.

Then Alice abandons her history lesson and chases an example of that world she so badly wants—where everything would be her own way—the White Rabbit. And from that moment on, every action she takes goes like this: “well, I know I should probably stop and think before I do this thing, but I’m going to do it anyway because I feel like it.”

She feels like crawling into a hole after the White Rabbit, and she does, and she falls into a world she can’t get out of. She feels like crying because she’ll never get home, and she does, and she floods the room. Her whole problem is that she often knows what the right thing to do is, but she just does whatever she wants in the moment because she wants it.

Like a little kid who obeys every fleeting impulse.

Enter the Queen of Hearts. A character who just wants what she wants. She’s the definition of what Alice could be if she takes her worst character trait—wanting things just her own way—and keeps chasing that.

In the end, Alice runs away from the Red Queen. She wakes up from her nightmare and immediately tries to obey her sister and “recite” in a panic. It’s kind of a joke—she starts reciting what the Caterpillar recited in her dream out of confusion—but the truth is, that’s where we leave Alice. She’s reciting, otherwise known as “repeating a lesson learned.” A long way from where she was at the beginning of the movie, when she was refusing to pay attention to her history lesson because it didn’t have the pictures she liked.

The movie is about the dangerous habit of jumping into whatever you want to jump into and waiting for things to be your own way, simply because you want them that way. The movie is about finding out that what you really want—a world with no responsibility, no long-term memory, no sense, and no future—is actually not a Wonderland, but a place to get lost and forget who you are. It’s a place you should come out of, eventually, unless you want to be completely out of touch with reality and behaving like everyone else should match your whims—just like a certain Queen of Hearts.

Don’t give me that “stick it to the man,” ageless idiocy of a mistaken notion that children somehow know better than adults. Children will stick their hands on red-hot stovetops and run out into traffic and completely ignore learning from the mistakes of their ancestors in their history lessons if they don’t have adults to help them. As a certain wise parent once said, “they’ll grab at the first shiny thing with flashy ribbons you wave in front of them. All a parent can do is say, ‘wait, trust me.’”

I mean, the last freakin’ shot of the movie is, the girl who was chasing nonsense in the form of a White Rabbit is now following her responsible older sister. Jeez.

All three of the directors on Alice in Wonderland had children, and you know Disney himself had his two daughters before Alice in Wonderland ever came out. If you think for one minute that this movie was about how kids are forced to learn nonsense, rather than taught not to overindulge in nonsense when it turns you into an out-of-touch tyrant, you are duping yourself.

#clown-weed #Alice in wonderland #Alice in wonderland 1953 #Alice in wonderland Disney #Disney Alice in wonderland #live action Alice in wonderland #Cheshire cat #mad hatter #parenting #writing #Walt Disney #((I have strong opinions about everything in case you couldn’t tell))

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constellationguy · 1 month

Text

Tdlosk smoker head cannons

-Auria Mikoto

I feel like she wouldn’t smoke cigarettes but would indulge in weed from time to time, probably edibles though. I think she would find you smoking kinda attractive but if you want to kiss her after smoking she’d request you to have a breath mint first.

-Akechi Touma

When he found out you smoke he’d talk all about the effects of smoke, nicotine, and other toxins in the body. I don’t think he’d really mind it though, especially if you let him talk to you while on your smoke break, let him play with your lighter and he’d be content. Give him an edible and a fidget toy and he’d be in his own quiet little world.

-Hairo Kineshi

One of the few people that would detest it. He hates the smell and forever fears the effect the smoke has on your lungs. I don’t think he’d say anything specificity to you but he’d look at you sad if you smoked in front of him. Would probably help you quit though.

-Kuboyasu Aren

I low key head cannon that he hasn’t quit the habit from his delinquent days. Still carries around cigarettes and a lighter with him everywhere and you could bum some off him. Your smoke breaks would be sweet and a good bonding experience. He’d get high with you to watch movies at home.

-Matsuzaki

If you’re in a relationship with him (AS AN ADULT) I think he’d be okay with it. I don’t think he’d like it very much but after a long day he wouldn’t mind taking a smoke break with you. If you were just one of his students and found you smoking he’d probably ask you why you were smoking and what was troubling you if it was because of stress. THE man to go to if you want to quit.

-Mera Chisato

I don’t think she’d like it either. She may or may not confront you about quitting. I kinda feel like she might regurgitate DARE or health class info about smoking to you. I feel like she’s a little DARE pilled.

-Metori Saiko

I think he’d smoke weed with you, probably is fine with vapes, not so much with cigarettes. He may or may not have a vape at his house just for you but he’ll try to hide that fact by taking a hit from it once in a blue moon saying that it’s his.

-Rifuta Imu

She plays it off as if she hates it. Ideally her partner wouldn��t smoke but she does find it borderline attractive. She wouldn’t be anywhere near you when you take smoke breaks. Doesn’t like weed either. Probably has a weird hate for vapes because they look lame.

-Riki Nendou

I don’t think he’d care or have much of an opinion about it. I don’t think he’d mind the smell of cigarettes since his mom smokes (if I remember correctly).

-Saiki Kusuo

I don’t think he’d care if you were just his friend, but he actually might smoke with you occasionally if you were dating. He would hide the smoking from his friends and family. I think he’d be scared to try weed because of his powers but if he ever did it (probably by accidentally eating a weed brownie), it would be the most interesting trip sit of your life.

-Saiki Kuske

He wouldn’t mind any of it. Probably indulges with you from time to time, but never in front of this family. Type of older brother to blow smoke in Kusuo’s face. I think he’d be more manageable while high so enjoy the peace while you can.

-Sato Hiroshi

It’s really whatever the most normal reaction is. As a kid he was probably scared of the effects of smoke and associated smoking with delinquents but as he got older he cared less and less about it. He doesn’t and wouldn’t smoke.

-Shiragami Fudekichi

I think he’d indulge with you. Honestly, whatever gets him to his deadline alive goes. Definitely would smoke when especially frustrated. Would write/draw while high sometimes. Would definitely go on dates with you while high.

-Shun Kaido

I think he is also pretty DARE pilled but he honestly finds you smoking attractive, he kinda hates himself for it though. ATTENTION don’t you dare even think about smoking in the hours leading up to meeting with his family, especially his mom. Doesn’t smoke and wouldn’t try weed until well into his adult life. He originally stayed far away from you while you smoked but as he got used to it he began to sit closer to you, maybe even in your lap on occasion.

-Takahashi

I don’t know why you would want to know what he thinks about this stuff but go off I guess. He hates it. I feel like he is one of those people that hates woman smoking but doesn’t mind when men smoke. Probably brags about the one time he tried weed. Would hold his breath if he got with in 9ft of someone smoking.

-Teruhashi Kokomi

I think she’d hate the smell of weed and cigarettes, she doesn’t hate vapes and weed candy or brownies as much though. You could never convince her to take a hit of your vape but I think she’d try candy out of curiosity at your house. She will never be high in public and prefer that you wouldn’t be either. She’d be a good trip sitter and probably would laugh her ass off at you.

-Teruhashi Makoto

I don’t think this man has friends or will ever have a partner but let’s pretend he does. If you were his friend I don’t think he’d care that much, just don’t smoke around him, he doesn’t like the smell and would hate if Kokomi thought he smokes. If you were his partner he’d hate it, probably puts you on a pedestal and thinks you are above smoking, vaping, weed and anything like that.

-Toritsuka Reita

He finds you smoking really hot. He’d probably only smoke with you on rare occasions, once in a blue moon really. He’d sit next to you when you take your smoke breaks and just take the sight of you in and talk, it’s actually pretty sweet. Knowing him, just seeing you smoking could put him in the mood.

-Yumehara Chiyo

I feel like she is one of those people to has a family member who smokes or chews tobacco and she doesn’t like them and thus dislikes smokers. She hates the smell of cigarettes and finds the smell of weed distasteful. If you only vaped she’d be cool with it and might try it out, probably wouldn’t like it though.

#tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k #headcanon #tdlosk x reader #saiki k #saiki no psi nan #saiki x reader

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thebibutterflyao3 · 7 months

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Day 4 Prompt: Sunset @rosekiller-microfic

March Daily Series - 564 words

<<<Previous Part OR Start Here

Barty stared at his mobile screen as he waited impatiently for a response that never came. He wanted to believe that Evan listened to his messages, but after ten days of no contact, he doubted it. The text messages definitely went unread and Evan had blocked him on social media. Calls were all he had left.

Evan could have blocked his number outright, but he didn’t. His texts still went through and the line rang all four times before going to voicemail. That had to mean something. Maybe he just liked listening to Barty beg.

I’ll keep begging if he’s still listening.

He pocketed the phone and rhythmically tapped his head against the headrest. The constant nausea and burning pain in his belly that he’d tried to hide with a blanket of weed for the last week was catching up with him. Barty was fairly sure that he was giving himself an ulcer with the fatal level of alcohol he consumed every night and the stress from losing the only person that he could have loved.

Maybe, in another life. If I was a better man.

The white bottle of Kaopectate in his cup holder taunted him. He’d taken a few shots from it since he sobered up, but it seemed to curdle like old milk the minute it hit his stomach. Barty couldn’t actually remember when he last ate actual food, so that was probably not helping.

You’re a waste of space. Always fucking up. Ruining my name.

It had been a while since he was sober enough to hear his father’s voice in his head. Considering the insults were the man’s main form of communication throughout his childhood, it felt sort of nostalgic, in a twisted way.

“This one’s for you, Babbo!” he said, grabbing the bottle and taking another shot of the chalky liquid.

There was a residual flavour reminiscent of vanilla, but not real vanilla. He could always tell if it was the imitation shite.

After another shot, Barty capped the bottle and straightened up in his seat. He had to figure out where he was going next. So far, he’d driven all the way up to Scotland, then somehow ended up in Wales, and now…he just wanted to go home.

Well, his flat anyway. It was a far cry from any “home” he’d ever seen, but it was his, for now. He had to leave so that he wasn’t tempted to track down Evan. The compulsion was impossible to ignore back then. Now, he was starting to accept the truth.

Evan doesn’t want me anymore.

Barty was a shite boyfriend even when he put everything he had into it. He’d really tried this time too. When Evan wanted to go out, Barty took him to the best restaurants that he could afford When he wanted to stay in, Barty cooked for him. They watched sunsets together and fucked like animals whenever Evan was randy. He thought Evan was happy, so he dropped his guard and let himself relax a bit.

Then, out of nowhere, Evan showed up at the flat and told him that they were done. He called Barty a liar and cheater. The words cut deeper this time, sliced straight through the bone.

“He’s not wrong, just a little late,” Barty muttered.

He never cheated on Evan. It didn’t even cross his mind. Lying though…that was an old habit. One borne from self-preservation.

Next Part>>>

#evan x barty #barty crouch junior #barty crouch jr #barty x evan #evan rosier #barty jr #rosekiller #rosekiller microfic #slytherin skittles #marauders era

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greghatecrimes · 1 year

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more neurodivergent headcanons:

adhd kutner

cannot ever be completely still and thus is always fidgeting with something in his hands (see: stethoscope in canon, but also: pens, stress balls, hair ties, rubber bands, expo marker, anything he can find in the outer office while they’re doing a ddx)

bad habit of interrupting people to finish their sentences for them or to say what he needs to say before he forgets it. if you’re talking to him, his brain is already three steps ahead of whatever you’re saying. he tries really hard to not interrupt during ddxes and when talking to patients and sometimes it takes a lot of energy

can’t use those squishy stress balls because he fidgets so much that it’ll break open in less than an hour. has definitely accidentally broken one while working in the diagnostics outer office and gotten the water inside all over paperwork foreman was doing (and house thought it was hilarious)

i bet adhd medication was his savior in med school. needed it to help him function in classes/be able to pay proper attention

inevitably doodles (without realizing it) on any paperwork he’s given to sign or fill out

uses his foot to tap out the rhythms of songs stuck in his head when he’s working in the lab. sometimes does a lil dancey dance when he gets really into it

prefers red bull or monster over coffee unless the coffee is ridiculously sweetened

constantly losing his phone in the funniest places (the office fridge; leaves it on a patient’s bedside table; forgets it in the MRI room, etc.)

loves to stim by making goofy/funny faces

His apartment abides by the rules of “organized chaos” thanks to The Pile Method. Definitely has an ADHD doom drawer he hasn’t opened in like three years

Loves socks. Always wearing socks with a cool or funny pattern on them and usually never wearing a matching set.

neurodivergent/autistic thirteen

keeps her hair tied back, or curls it and uses a ton of hairspray, to avoid touching it. (she runs her fingers through her hair or twirls it as stimming and grounding when she’s anxious, and she wants to hide that she does that when she’s around other people)

became an absolute master at sarcasm and banter in high school (to always have the upper hand in conversation)

is constantly analyzing the conversation, tone of voice, expressions, and mannerisms of her coworkers and others around her, and tracking the patterns she notices. she’s so used to it that it’s an automatic/instinctive process for her by the time she gets a job as one of house’s fellows

in college, purposely sought out alcohol and weed on her own time in order to build up her tolerance and get used to the feeling. that way when she gets drunk or high around other people, she can be reasonably intoxicated and fit in with the group while also still being in control and staying cool and detached.

knows kutner is adhd, and keeps a spare hairtie on her that she can “accidentally leave on the table” when kutner needs something to fidget with

Prefers the sensory feel of tighter clothes on her lower body and looser clothes on her upper body. Only likes tight clothes on her upper body if the fabric is thin, it’s short sleeved, and it’s not restrictive to her movement

Gets headaches/sore scalp when she wears her hair up too much. keeps it in looser ponytails at work to lessen the pull, and uses scrunchies to put her hair up at home.

Loathes socks. She wears only the lowest cut no-show socks, the kind that are even invisible with sneakers like converse or vans. rips off said socks the moment she steps into her apartment after work.

Prefers to be organized and makes sure everything has a set place for the sake of convenience. Doesn’t always have the energy or motivation to put things back in their set place (probably because masking is exhausting)

#lawrence kutner #remy thirteen hadley #house md #hate crimes md #headcanons #autistic thirteen #adhd lawrence kutner

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willowisapillow · 2 months

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🐺❤️ He Ate My Heart Out ❤️🐺

*Rock eyebrow raise and Vine boom sound effect intensifies*

Sharandy my beloved,, oh how I’ve missed drawing these two together again (even though it wasn’t that long since I’ve last drawn them). Guess I just can’t quit these two.

Had the urge to draw these two again because I'm so sick and tired of seeing so much discourse and detractors about them as a couple on TikTok and YouTube. I’ve recently stumbled onto some edits of them getting a divorce, and while I respect others opinions on Sharon settling with a better man- y’all acting like Randy can’t get his act together and act like a normal husband towards her, which he’s done during the series like multiple times 💀

Though for the most part, I kinda blame the flanderization of him in recent years for this, especially with that one recent special where he bodyshames her, like, what the literal hell was that nonsense? I hate it sm, Randy would never do that 😣

My apologies if I sound like a broken record for saying this for the 200th time, Ik these two are an imperfect couple, but that’s what I like about ‘em. They don’t always act like a mushy, lovey-dovey, squeaky-clean, Disney-esque couple (not a jab at Disney couples, I live and breathe them, but you get my point). Both of them have their flaws like quarreling and bickering and that’s what makes their relationship realistic, because, newsflash, some irl couples act like that too. If their relationship were sunshine and rainbows all the time, then it would just be boring to watch. They’ve had plenty of moments to prove that they have a decent marriage. One of my DA friends said this a while back and I fully agree with them; a couple with their ups and downs is a lot better than a toxic marriage happening every single episode.

And at least Randy doesn’t treat Sharon awfully 24/7, cheats on her with other people, married her solely for her looks, or told her that he hates being with his kids. And imo they’re a healthier couple then the other parents like Staurt and Carol and Stephen and Linda don’t @ me plz-

So sorry if I went off on yet another tangent, I’m just your average online yapper who gets unnecessarily defensive over my fav fictional characters 💅🏾✨

My silly rant out of the way, when I was younger I had this habit of inserting my favorite franchises into random fairytales. I don’t know why I did it so much, I just liked the concept of it. I’ve done it with Mario, Banjo-Kazooie and Cuphead, now I’m doing it with South Park. The theme I wanted to go for was Red Riding Hood after binge watching those “Dark origins of your childhood fairytales” videos, bumping into some other fairytale AUs on here for some inspo, and listening to Monster by Lady Gaga and Won’t Bite by Doja Cat one too many times.

Wanted to go for a stylish but sultry look for Riding Hood!Sharon, and as for Werewolf!Randy I definitely went full on furry on him in this picture. I am not sorry at all. Now I just kinda picture some scenarios where he acts like an actual dog. Like, Sharon has him on a leash and takes him on walks, sprays him with a spray bottle anytime he starts actin’ up, or giving him some weed to calm him down when he enters feral mode. Randy is also very loyal and protective of his wifey, and will not hesitate to bite, scratch (and probably kill) you if you lay a finger on her. Also like the idea of him enjoying being scratched behind the ears and getting belly rubs haha

And I had a thought of having Stan playing the role of the huntsman, ‘cause I think it would be adorbs for him to help out his mama <3

🌲 🐺 ❤️ 🐺 🌲

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mrmeowziii · 6 months

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Digital art I made, it’s my interpretation or Rodney’s family. Seven brothers and a dad are mentioned in the show, as is his mom being dead in bonus stuff. Scott being his cousin is my headcanon though.

Personalities because why not?

Daryl: Has been a single father for 16 years now, wife got into her tractor-molasses accident and passed away a year after having the twins. He’s very stoic on the outside, but actually very emotional. He’s got eight boys. He’s trying his best, lol. Often not available due to how busy he is at his job. Leaves the farm to his sons for the most part.

Richard: Lax, smokes weed, probably was part of a Portland polycule for a while, maybe still is. Not very responsible, he’s the only child to have left the family farm. Sometimes comes to crash at the farmhouse with one of his partners- everyone’s just gotten used to it at this point.

Ryan: The ‘mom’. Took up a bunch of household responsibilities after his mom died, including cooking and helping to raise some of his younger brothers. He’s very patient and responsible, and dislikes his older brother’s lazy attitude. More focused on the family than any kind of relationship, though he’d like to get married and have kids of his own some day.

Rodney: Helps his brother Ryan with managing the farm. Not as much with the house though, more with the actual farm itself. Similar to how he was on Pahkitew, just more mature with relationships. Pansexual, but he still can’t talk to his crushes without getting extremely flustered.

Robert ‘Robbie’: The rebellious one. Drinks and smokes with Richard, which upsets Ryan to no end. Robbie doesn’t care though. Shortest brother and he hates it. All of the tallness went to his number neighbor brothers. Kind of a bully, but nothing too serious. Has had a crush on this girl who works at the library, Connie, for the longest time. Unfortunately he inherited Rodney’s way with words when it comes to crushes, and hasn’t made much progress with her.

Roy: Quiet and Stoic, Roy is Dawn-ish. His speech is very formal, though he’s often just staring into space. Attracts animals by doing nothing. Not interested in romance at all. Aro/Ace. Robbie used to try to pick on him but gave up after Roy never reacted. Refuses to wear jeans.

Rowan: The smart one, he’s just graduated High school and wants to go to a really nice college. Has a bad habit of looking down on his brothers because of their low intelligence or weird mannerisms. Into a lot of nerdy things, he doesn’t have a lot of people to share his interests with that’ll know what he’s talking about. He’s hoping to find a girlfriend in college that shares his interests.

Ryder: The older of the two twins, Ryder gets along well with Ryan and Rodney, who he spends a lot of time with. He’s introverted and quiet, but not like Roy is. Very kind, but can be a little self-sacrificing. Raphie tries to include him when him and his friends do things, but he just doesn’t quite connect. Undecided when it comes to attraction, he’s got other things on his mind too often. Artsy.

Ralph ‘Ralphie’: Sporty and outgoing, he’s the younger twin and youngest child. Kind of a Himbo, he knows he’s not the smartest, but he’s got a big heart. Looks out for Ryder, who he’s constantly worried about. Gay, He and his boyfriend Archie have been dating for two years now. Comes into conflict with Rowan and Robbie often, especially when Robbie tries to pick on Ryder.

#total drama #art #total drama rodney #total drama scott #tdpi #headcanon

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god-forsaken-sp-confession-blog · 7 months

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lets make stinkpark real

kenny is the stinkiest of the mains but it’s not his fault. lack of running water and products. plus his parents probably smoke in the house and the smell sticks to his clothes and hair :(

stanley boy is stinky but like in a musky way. like it’s not necessarily a bad smell. especially since he also lives on a pot farm so he’s got that subtle fresh weed aroma. think boy stink layered with weed and axe body spray

cartman is canonically well groomed and his gay ass probably takes bubble baths. i think liane would instill good hygiene habits and probably has a lot of fancy products in the bathroom that he helps himself to regularly

kyle just doesn’t like to feel gross, he wouldn’t be afraid of getting dirty but wouldn’t want to STAY dirty you know? i love the hc that he’s the first to start wearing deodorant and gets called gay for it. prob clips his nails, flosses, owns a nice cologne. just normal stuff

butters: he is squeaky clean because his parents are super strict about it! although i think it’s something he genuinely enjoys, again, bubble baths. his mom is always cleaning and doing laundry so his clothes are always fresh smelling

however, the stinkiest south park characters would be towelie, dogpoo petutski, MR HANKEY

#south park #south park confession

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erimeows · 2 years

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Hush Hush

It’s a warm day in Konoha as Naruto Uzumaki runs up to his teammates, Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. They’ve been waiting for him on the bridge- probably for a little too long- but he is not to blame nearly as much as his spoiled milk. When he approaches the two other Genin, he excitedly greets them with a smile.

“Sakura, Sasuke!”

Naruto stands in front of his friends and waits for whatever it is they have to say in response to him, though he doesn’t really care. They have their normal D-rank missions today- stupid grunt work like walking dogs, picking weeds, catching cats, and babysitting noble children- but Naruto has something more important on his mind; Iruka-Sensei’s upcoming birthday.

“Naruto, you’re late!” Sakura scolds, then pauses to look at his face. “Oh, no. You look like you’re up to no good this morning.”

“Yeah, now that she mentions it, you have even more pep in your step than usual,” Sasuke points out as he crosses his arms and rolls his eyes.

“Iruka-Sensei’s birthday is in a couple months!” Naruto exclaims, though neither Sakura nor Sasuke look very impressed with the important information he’s just told them.

“And?” Sasuke questions with a raised eyebrow. “Why should I care?”

“Well, y’know, he’s like a dad to me,” Naruto answers, speaking a little quieter now. Sakura’s expression softens, but Sasuke’s remains unmoving; uncaring as always. Naruto can’t stand that about the Uchiha. “I want to do something for him! It took me a while to come up with something, but I think I have a good plan. The only problem is that I need both you guys’ help with it.”

“And why would I want to do that?”

“C’mon, Sasuke, Iruka-Sensei was a good teacher to all of us and you know it!” Sakura argues and places a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. Unsurprisingly, Sasuke scoffs and pulls away. “The least we could do is do something nice for him!”

“Fine,” Sasuke sighs and looks at Naruto. “What’s your plan, then?”

“Now that’s where it gets tricky,” Naruto laughs nervously, then continues. He doesn’t meet either of his teammates’ eyes. “I was thinking, Iruka-Sensei works way too much. Like, it’s so bad that he spends all his time teaching, doing dumb teacher stuff that isn’t teaching, or training! He has no friends, it’s actually kinda sad, but what if we got him a girlfriend?”

“Your idea of a birthday gift is setting up this poor, traumatized, overworked man with a date?”

“Sasuke, don’t be such a downer!” Sakura insists. “I think it’s a great idea- Iruka-Sensei could use a little love in his life! He does seem pretty lonely.”

“I don’t think that’s such a great idea… Hm,” Sasuke shrugs in what appears to be a reluctant agreement. “Fine. Since you two are so excited about it, I’ll help, but I refuse to take the blame if it backfires.”

Suddenly, the final member of their team shows up; Kakashi, who’s even later than Naruto. The Jonin flickers down to stand behind Naruto.

“Man, you guys are awful,” Kakashi laughs, looking terribly amused. “Your poor former Sensei is overworked and his birthday is coming up, so you think what he needs is a girlfriend? Like that won’t add more stress and commitment to his life?”

“K-Kakashi-Sensei!” Naruto jumps and whirls around to face Kakashi, whose chest he nearly slams his head into. “When did you get here!?”

“Before you did, Naruto, I was just hiding in the trees to listen to your little scheme,” Kakashi explains. “You know, you really shouldn’t make a habit of being so late to things.”

“Like you’re one to talk!? You’re even more late than I am!”

“Tsk tsk. Do as I say, not as I do, you’ll live much happier lives that way. That being said, shall we get started for the day?”

All three of them answer, Naruto’s birthday gift for Iruka forgotten for now.

“Yes, Kakashi-Sensei!”

Later that day, Sakura gathers her two teammates to revisit their plan for Iruka’s birthday. The gist of Naruto’s idea is to find someone in the village that would be a good fit for Iruka and set them up on a blind date around the day of Iruka’s birthday. It sounds sensible enough, but when Sakura finds herself dragged along with Sasuke to lurk in a tree just outside of the academy, she can’t help but be a tad confused about what’s going on.

“Okay, so I understand why you want to get Iruka-Sensei a girlfriend, but how are we going to do that by stalking him?” Sakura questions while furrowing her brow in confusion.

“Well, we have to make sure he doesn’t already have a super secret hidden relationship first!” Naruto answers oh-so-confidently, to which Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose between his pointer finger and his thumb before responding with an exasperated-

“God, you’re a fucking idiot.”

“I dunno, I think it’s a fair point,” Sakura acquiesces to Naruto’s idea, even if she doesn’t want to admit that she agrees with the hardheaded blond more than she does with Sasuke. “It’d be pretty awkward if we tried to set him up on a date only to find out he’s already with someone.”

“Yup! Just as I said!” Naruto says in a terribly loud whisper, his bright blue eyes trained on Iruka as he walks out of the academy. Unfortunately, Iruka isn’t an idiot. He looks around, clearly on guard and aware of the fact that he’s not alone when he leaves work. Naruto is oblivious to it. “So we’re just gonna follow him for a few days, get a hang of his routine. Surely if he’s seeing someone we’d notice them, so if we don’t see anything, we can go ahead with the real plan!”

“Fine, if you say so…” Sakura trails off. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Sasuke Uchiha has a single goal in life; to kill his brother, Itachi Uchiha, and avenge his clan. So, he doesn’t like wasting time on trivial things like romance or D-Rank missions, preferring to spend his time training and doing more important things. That being said, since being assigned to squad seven, Sasuke has learned that he can make connections with people- whether he wants to or not. Sakura and Naruto are both very persistent and surprisingly endearing, so he can’t help but love them dearly, even if he will never admit it out loud to either of them.

Because of that love, he goes along with their foolish plan to set Iruka up on some sort of date. A couple of weeks have passed since Naruto mentioned his idea to them and they haven’t gotten any closer to bringing that idea to fruition. Iruka’s birthday draws closer and closer by the day.

Sasuke can’t understand why his teammates have such an interest in their former teacher’s love life, but if it’ll make them happy, he figures that helping with them won’t hurt. The only issue is that both of them are horrendous at hiding both their Chakra and their presence because they’re so noisy and unskilled. Sasuke, the more talented of the three, decides that to make any progress with getting an idea of Iruka’s routine while remaining unnoticed is staking Iruka out by himself.

So far, he’s been successful. They offered to go with him to track Iruka today, but he feigned a stomach bug and said he had to get home. The other two Genin, dejected, went to their own homes to do God knows what, leaving Sasuke to his own devices. He followed Iruka to the academy to watch him teach, to his lunch break, back to the academy, and finally to his humble apartment. Conveniently enough, Sasuke manages to hide just outside of Iruka’s large window. He concentrates his Chakra to his hands so he can hang on to the window sill without hurting his fingers or falling off. He activates his Sharingan and peers through the window.

Iruka hasn’t done much since he’s been home; graded some papers, cooked dinner. Sasuke has noticed, however, that Iruka set his kitchen table with two spots; directly across from each other, each with a plate, a cloth napkin, silverware, and a wine glass. In the middle of the table is a vase of red roses, and Iruka has an ungodly amount of scented candles lit across the apartment.

Suddenly, Iruka perks up and rushes to the front door.

“Oh, he’s here!”

Sasuke watches. Much to his surprise, when Iruka opens the door, there’s none other than Kakashi standing on the other side. Sasuke’s lips gently part in shock as he listens to the words that come from Kakashi’s mouth.

“Iruka-Sensei, I missed you today.”

“I missed you too, Kakashi…” Iruka pulls Kakashi into the apartment in a way that’s overly familiar, shuts the door, and wraps his arms around the Jonin’s taller body. Kakashi hugs him back. Sasuke has never seen such affectionate or intimate displays from either man, and to be honest, he’s incredibly uncomfortable now that he has. He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be seeing this. Damn Naruto and Sakura for dragging him into this stupid nonsense… “It’s good to see you. I’ve had a long day.”

“You’re telling me,” Kakashi breaks loose from Iruka’s hug and walks to the kitchen with the Chunin following him like a lost puppy. “I don’t know how you handled those three for so long on top of a dozen other children.”

“Are you ready for dinner?” Iruka asks as Kakashi sits at the dinner table.

“Yeah, I’m pretty hungry.”

“Great.”

Iruka grabs the pot full of spaghetti that he had been working on, serves them both a plateful, and sets it back on the stove. Then, he sits across from Kakashi. The two eat in comfortable, romantic silence. Sasuke doesn’t miss how they sneak the occasional glance at each other with such sickening affection in their eyes when they think the other isn’t looking.

“So… Are the kids still following you?” Kakashi questions.

Sasukei’s stomach drops. Iruka knew, he knew that much, but Kakashi, too? They’ve both known about their plan the whole time. How embarrassing…

“Yeah, pretty much any time they haven’t been with you today, they were outside of the academy stalking me or following me home. Pretty creepy, to be honest.”

“They’re ridiculous,” Kakashi laughs and shakes his head. Somehow, he has managed to hide his face from Sasuke while eating impeccably with the simple use of one hand. From the angle they’re at, though, Iruka must have seen Kakashi’s face… He must’ve seen it anyway. They’re dating, after all. It’s a weird thought; that Iruka knows so much more about Kakashi than any of the rest of them do. How did this even happen in the first place, though? Why are they hiding it? “I meant to tell you that I heard what they’re up to. It took me a bit to piece it together, but they think you’re single.”

“What does that have to do with this?” Iruka demands.

“You won’t believe me, but… They want to set you up on a date with a woman as some sort of weird birthday gift.”

“Seriously?” Iruka groans, then face-palms. “Bad at teamwork and bad at using their gaydars. Who would’ve guessed?”

“I could have, honestly, it’s not out of character for them to do this shit,” Kakashi sighs. Then, his gaze flickers to the window. “But before we continue this, Iruka, I don’t think we’re alone.”

“Shit…” Sasuke whispers under his breath, knowing that his confusion about the entire situation made him lose focus on controlling his Chakra.

“Sasuke, go home, will you?” Kakashi raises his voice to say while pulling his mask back up. “I’m trying to have a private conversation with my boyfriend.”

Saying nothing, Sasuke listens and scurries away as fast as possible. Who knows what sort of consequences this fiasco will have for them come morning…

~~~

A couple of days pass after Sasuke stalks their shared dinner at Iruka’s apartment. Kakashi doesn’t say anything to his Genin students about the incident or about the situation in general- mostly because it’s awkward, but also because watching them squirm in guilt about going behind Iruka’s back is hilarious. He doesn’t know if Sasuke has told his other squad members about what occurred at Iruka’s apartment, but he does know that the situation is making Iruka increasingly nervous.

So, they schedule a dinner at Ichiraku with Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura to clear the air.

The five sit at Ichiraku on the tiny red stools at the bar. While Kakashi sits on the very outer corner and Iruka sits on the inside, their three students sit between them with Naruto next to Iruka, Sasuke next to Kakashi, and Sakura in the middle. The silence is deafening minus the occasional noodle slurping- at least until Kakashi clears his throat and speaks up.

“So, Sasuke already knows, but we invited you here tonight to tell you something important.”

Naruto perks up at that, lightly elbowing Iruka, who looks back at him with a blush.

“What is it, Iruka-Sensei?”

“Kakashi overheard your plan to set me up on a date, and he told me all about it,” Iruka says with a nervous chuckle and scratches his chin. Kakashi simply watches with hearts in his eyes. He didn’t want their two year long relationship to come out like this, but he’s happy that they’re able to tell their students after hiding it for so long. It’ll be a weight lifted off of both of their shoulders- that and they can finally start inviting the kiddos to dinner after work without worrying about what they’ll say. “I’m happy to inform you that there’s no need to do that, as kind of a gesture as it is. I’m already dating someone and have been for over a year.”

“What? Who is she? Do I know her!?” Naruto excitedly asks question after question, which makes Kakashi struggle to hold back his laughter.

“Is it Anko?” Sakura inquires, and it’s a valid inquiry since Anko and Iruka are close friends and coworkers, but she doesn’t know just how wrong she is.

“No, it’s Kakashi,” Iruka clarifies.

Sasuke doesn’t appear even remotely surprised, as he had found out days earlier, though it’s apparent that he didn’t bother telling Sakura or Naruto. Sakura’s seafoam eyes are blown wide as she damn near chokes on her ramen, and Naruto looks like he’s barely able to keep from screaming the roof off of the establishment with the shock that takes over his expression.

“What?” Naruto shoots straight up and frantically looks between Kakashi and Iruka, who are now smiling at each other. “Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“Well, Naruto, it’s complicated. As much as we love each other, and as much as Iruka wants to be transparent with you all about things,” Kakashi explains and waits for all three of his students to be paying attention before he continues. “I have led a very dangerous life. I’ve fought in wars, been a squad captain of the Anbu, fought Orochimaru… I’ve come close to death a lot of times. Iruka leads a more peaceful life than I, and if everyone else were to know about our relationship, he could be a target for people looking to hurt me. We’ve only hidden it for this long to protect each other.”

“...Oh,” Naruto says quietly.

Thankfully, he seems to understand. Kakashi lets out a sigh of relief. He was half-expecting Naruto to release the ninetails and maul him to death for daring to touch his beloved teacher- now father figure. Naruto doesn’t overreact in an angry or sad manner, though. Sakura and Sasuke are clearly neutral about it as Sakura taps Sasuke’s shoulder and questions-

“Wait, Sasuke, how did you know?”

“I went off to trail Iruka’s nighttime routine on my own the other night and saw them having dinner together. They’ve known about us following them the whole time because you two can’t hide your Chakra,” Sasuke scoffs like he’s better than his two teammates, because why wouldn’t he? Kakashi opens his mouth to clarify that the Uchiha isn’t much better since he was spotted by Kakashi as well the other night, but before he can, Sasuke admits to it. “Kakashi caught me, though.”

“So we should keep this a secret too then, right?” Sakura asks.

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Kakashi nods as he finishes up his food and pays the tab before Iruka can stop him from doing so. “We still don’t want anyone else to know, we only told you three so you’d stop snooping.”

“Damn!” Naruto yells and holds his head in his hands. At first, Kakashi is slightly concerned. The following claim from the blond makes all of them laugh, though, and whatever concern was there quickly fades. “That means I’m going to have to save money to buy Iruka-Sensei an actual birthday gift instead of surprising him with my super awesome plan!”

“Seriously? You idiot!” Sakura raises her voice and crosses her arms as she yells at Naruto with pink cheeks. “I’d help you pay for it, ya know!”

“Me too, actually,” Sasuke quietly agrees, trying to seem like he doesn’t care when he clearly does.

Kakashi laughs once more. Meanwhile, Iruka objects. His chocolate brown eyes flicker between the three Genin.

“No, no,” The brunette insists and shakes his head ‘no’. “That’s not necessary. None of you need to get me a birthday gift. Just a birthday wish on the day will suffice. If you insist on getting me a gift, I don’t want you to waste your hard earned money on it. So make me a card or a cake or something of that nature, okay?”

“Yes, Iruka-Sensei,” The three agree, and with that, they’re all back to enjoying their meal and their drinks.

Just then, Kakashi realizes.

Iruka’s birthday is in a little under two months and he still hasn’t gotten Iruka a gift either…

#kakairu #irukaka #Kakashi #Kakashi Hatake #naruto #Naruto Shippuden #Naruto Uzumaki #Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #iruka umino #fluff #oneshot #oneshots #drabble #drabbles

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