#what i'm doing instead of getting things done

[ptergwen]

imagining a blurb where peter sleeps over at readers dorm for the first time and they haven’t done anything yet but he wakes up with morning wood and he’s trying to make it go down but she wakes up and helps get rid of it 🤭

the situation

ask box  |  taglist  |  blurb masterlist  |  main masterlist

w/c: 1,271

warnings: 18+ content! oral sex (m receiving), language

a/n: oh absolutely! i liked this one so much it became a full oneshot, happy reading friends (also i was so tempted to use a gif from That scene in far from home iykyk)

you wake up to peter shifting around behind you. he was here late last night, so he ended up staying over. you'd naturally been squished together in your small dorm bed, but neither of you minded. you took the opportunity to cuddle throughout the night.

at some point, you ended up with your back to peter, causing you to be pressed up against him. it was no surprise when he woke up hard. he doesn't want you to wake up to it, though. you've only been dating for a few weeks and haven't done much beyond make out. this isn't the most ideal way to introduce more into your relationship.

peter tries to wiggle out from behind you so he can go to the bathroom and deal with his situation. of course, he'd slept closest to the wall, which makes things a little difficult. he feels you start to stir.

"hey, go back to sleep," peter whispers, squeezing your waist. "where are you going?" you mumble. you look at him over your shoulder. "just the bathroom. i’ll be right back," he kisses your shoulder. "mhm. i know what you're gonna do in there," you give peter a lazy smirk. he scrunches up his nose.

"you, uh... felt that?"

"kind of hard not to."

"sorry," peter chuckles. "don't be. it's just, like, morning wood," you reassure, rolling over to face him. "i could help you take care of it, though," you search peter's eyes. his brows raise, a small smile playing on his lips. "are you sure? don't feel like you have to." his hand settles on your hip, his touch light.

"i don't feel like i have to," you echo. "i want to. do you want me to?"

peter nods, vigorously.

you grin and push at peter's chest, prompting him to lie on his back. he helps you on top of him. he tilts his head up and captures your lips in a slow kiss. you let your lips slot with his, your legs coming to rest at either of peter's sides. his bulge presses into your center. a noise of relief falls from his lips, making you giggle. you break the kiss and move further up his body so you're positioned over his torso instead.

"not that. i have another idea."

"what is it?"

"i'm getting to it."

you take peter's face in your hands and kiss him again. he eagerly kisses you back. he bunches up your top so he can wrap his fingers around your waist. his tongue slips into your mouth, thumbs running up and down your sides. you're starting to get a bit needy yourself, but right now you're focusing on peter.

"one sec," you breathe. you grab your water bottle from your desk and take a few sips in preparation. peter leans in for another kiss when you're done, but you start to make your way down his body, fingers trailing along his abs as you go. you feel them flex underneath your touch, his breathing becoming faster. your pinkie dips inside his boxers and brushes over his lower abs.

"what are you- oh."

you stroke peter's cock in your hand, sitting on your knees and smiling up at him. he takes off his boxers to make things easier. you look into his eyes as you lower your head, hand still wrapped around his cock. peter bites his lip and holds your gaze.

his eyes flutter closed when you swirl your tongue around his tip. you do this a few times, then bring your hand to the head of his cock and stroke downwards, using your spit to coat his length. peter moves a hand down to support the back of your head and encourage you to do what you both know he's waiting for. you let your lips wrap around peter's cock, taking him into your mouth.

"fuck," peter pants, his head falling back against the pillows. you fit as much of him in your mouth as you can, your hand staying at the base of his cock to stroke what doesn't. you begin to bob your head up and down, almost instantly earning a moan from peter. he carefully pulls your hair out of your face and holds it back for you.

you glide your tongue against peter's length every time you move your head. the sensation of it, combined with being in your mouth, drives him absolutely crazy. you can tell by the way his cock twitches and the little noises he makes. your mouth and hand continue to work him, and his eyes are screwed shut in pure bliss when you peek up at him.

"baby..." peter breathes out. you hum in response. "i’m close, really close. where do you want me to finish?" he asks. you stop sucking him off briefly to answer, and for a bit of air.

"in my mouth."

"you wanna swallow?"

you hum again. you continue to stroke him and lick along his length so you don't lose momentum. peter looks down at you with hooded eyes. he lets go of his makeshift ponytail for you, instead stroking your hair gently.

"that's hot. i didn't know you were into that."

"with the right person."

peter smiles, a genuine smile even in the lust filled moment. you return it before taking his cock into your mouth again. you challenge yourself to go a little further this time, until he's just hitting the back of your throat. peter groans at the feeling.

you find your same rhythm from before, repeat your same movements, and it isn't long until peter is reaching his high. his hips buck up and he holds your head in place, instinctively pushing into your throat, but he stills his hips before he pushes too far.

"fuck, y/n/n. is this okay?"

you respond by opening your mouth wider, letting more of him in. with your permission, peter spills down your throat, a series of short, breathy moans leaving his lips. he waits until he's finished to pull his hips back. you swallow the rest of the cum that fills your mouth. peter holds your face in his hands, looking down at you in awe. his thumb brushes over your lower lip, which curves into a smile.

"better?" you ask. "way better. let me just..." peter puts his boxers back on with rosy cheeks, as if he wasn't just in your mouth. "c'mere."

you crawl towards the top of the bed. peter grabs your hips and sits you in his lap, pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. you smile into it. one hand is on the back of his neck, the other in his hair. this morning is the first time you've seen it curly, since it's usually gelled back. you like the way peter looks when he's just woken up.

"it wasn't too soon for us to do that, right?" peter asks quietly. "because i don't wanna rush anything." he sets a hand on your thigh, eyes finding yours. "i don't think so. we both wanted to, and it was my idea anyway," you remind him, playing with his soft curls. "okay, just wanted to make sure," peter grins.

"i appreciate the help, by the way," he says lowly. his fingers trail along your thigh. "yeah," you murmur, looking down at his hand.

you really like the way peter's touch feels, too.

his hand is traveling higher, and his smile has been replaced by a smirk. you press your forehead to his, lips ghosting over his and breath fanning across his face. his nose nudges yours.

"how about i return the favor?"

tags

@spidermans-gf @sacharinee @thollandsgirl2013 @pettypeety @girlinlovewithlove @marvelgurl @superlegend216 @angelinabelovedballerina @moniffazictress11 @superlegend216 @doubledizzy22 @mystic-writings @just-lost-inbetween-worlds @lnmp89 @starlight-starks @hollandsangel @ellebutnotwoods @tayyx @valluvsu @ronweasleysslut @winchestersgirl222  @fishingirl12 @raajali3 @niktwazny303 @thismessymasterpiece @alina02 @itsjanedeluca @idkeverythingistakennn @prancerrparkerr @urfayevorite @getwellsoontana @deanswifeyy @marvelita86 @uhhhj13iguess

[backfliips]

As someone who admittedly has attention issues of my own, I think it's important to talk about how attention is a skill that can be learned and often requires conscious and focused effort to build. I think a lot of people despair over the current state of media --- short-form algorithm-driven content that is built to snare and lure and diminish people's attention spans for profit --- and while that despair is certainly built off of legitimate concerns, I want to stress that the damage being done is not irreversible.

Over the course of the COVID-19 lockdowns I fried my brain so intensely with tik toks and instagram reels that I was getting bored 2 seconds into a 5 second video and was finding myself scrolling so quickly that I wasn't even watching anymore. I was lethargic and unhappy and though my mood was definitely simultaneously impacted by the hovering doom of COVID-19 and living in complete isolation for months at a time (I don't recommend that, BTW), I found myself losing passion for the things I loved doing: drawing, reading, and writing. I felt miserable and useless and incredibly guilty for leaving my productive and fulfilling hobbies behind while I chased... not even happiness. Just something to occupy my brain and turn it into mush.

As time passed I realized that I wasn't even having fun on tik tok anymore. I'd see funny videos and get a rush of endorphins, and then the next second I would have completely forgotten what I just watched. I was refreshing social media pages to see numbers I didn't even care about. Everything was an endless loop of swapping between different apps, just time passing and passing and my attention span dipping lower and lower until I would go for days without feeling any sense of joy or accomplishment.

And this was most definitely aided by the fact that I was unemployed and stuck in a terrible worldwide epidemic, but as soon as I deleted the tik tok app and put harsh time limits on instagram (15 minutes a day, which I rationed compulsively) I suddenly wanted to draw again. I started reading books again. I started writing and spending time outside and getting inspiration from the world around me.

Now, years later, I work with teenagers whose lives are dictated by their phones. My coworkers often lament the state of the world today --- which, again, is a valid stance to have --- but in the few months after my workplace implemented a no phones policy, I watched disengaged students bounce back to productivity. Instead of scrolling during lectures they paid attention and asked questions and engaged their peers in conversation. During lunch they played board games and talked to each other. Students even told me about how they didn't even want to go on their phones when they got home from school!

It isn't perfect, and I'm not advocating for a world devoid of phones, but I just want to highlight that these neural pathways can be built and exercised. People's brains are resilient and fascinating and much stronger and more adaptable than many people are willing to give them credit for.

I've expanded my time limits across more apps on my phone, setting days where I can't even access social media at all from my phone, and in that short period of time I've found myself far more engaged with the world around me. I've been zipping my phone up in a bag instead of keeping it in my pocket, adding a step to access it, and I've found that that alone is keeping me from using it to a huge degree. I'll toss my phone across the room when I find myself on it when I don't have any reason to be scrolling. And it's helping!

My main message here is that it's never too late to focus on your focus. Change and improvement doesn't happen until you make an effort on your own.

[luxcuriousao3]

This is incredibly self indulgent. Not proofread, literally typed it up on tumblr when the thought struck me.

-

Virgin Simon Riley, who at his big age, has never got past second base. The closest he's come to sex is porn and the shite he's heard squad mates say during his army career. So when the two of you, after having taken it slow, finally fall into bed together, he does what he's been led to believe girls like--namely choking you and degrading you--even though he himself is downright turned off by just the thought of hurting you or saying a single cruel word in your direction. But he is so, so desperate to do this right, to please you so you never even suspect he's never done this before and go running for the hills. Except the second his hand wraps around your throat, your expression turns terrified, and you grasp at his hand, squirming beneath him as you try to pull it away. He doesn't even get to finish calling you a dirty whore before he's letting go and scrambling away from you, the look on his face mirroring yours. He's fucked up. He doesn't know how, but he's fucked up majorly. There are tears in your eyes, and your whole body is shaking as you pull the blankets up to cover yourself. He feels like his father. He thinks he's going to be sick.

"Wh-why-- what-- what the fuck?" You gasp, lips trembling as the tears spill over. There's anger around the edges of your fearful expression, now. "What the fuck! Wh-why did you-- you didn't even f-fucking ask! What the fuck, Simon!?"

You're crying in earnest by the end of your tirade, and Simon is panicking, afraid to touch you and make it worse, but unable to stand just sitting there and watching you cry. He creeps closer, murmuring a stream of apologies as he does, feeling far too exposed with how naked he is.

"I-- I d-don't-- I d-don't like that shit!" You half yell, half sob once he reaches the end of the bed. "I'm n-not a fucking whore and h-hate being fucking choked! Wh-why did you do that?"

"I-- I thought," he stutters. The big, bad Simon Riley, stuttering. Bloody hell. "I thought that's what birds liked..."

You glared up at him with eyes, clearly not believing him.

"What, every single girl you've been with has been some ultra-kinky nympho that wants you to choke them out and spit in their face the first time you have sex?" You scoff. "There's no fucking way."

Simon was terrified he'd lose you if he admitted he's never slept with a woman before, but now, it seems like that's the only way to convince you he's not some piece of shit that can only get off by hurting his partner.

"I've never..." he swallowed, sitting down in the bed and staring at his hands, unable to look at you. "I've never had sex before."

There's a long silence, and when he does chance a glance at you, he sees your fear and anger has been replaced by shock.

"You're a virgin?" You ask loudly, and he winces, ducking his head in shame, but he nods. "Christ. Then what-- where did you even learn about the-- the choking thing? And calling me a dirty whore?"

Simon winced, hearing the hurt still lingering in your voice, his shame growing.

"M'not some porn addict, but I've-- I've watched it here and there, over the years," he said quietly, the tops of his ears burning. "Every video I've seen has had that, and the birds, they all-- they all were inta it. And my squaddies, they... well, lads talk. They were always bangin' on about their girlfriends liking it rough. So I just thought-- I thought that's what ya would want."

"You didn't consider, I don't know, asking me?" Your reply is sharp, and Simon hunches his broad shoulders, curling in on himself. He feels so fucking stupid. He let his fear of rejection get in the way, and instead of looking like a fool, he looked like a monster. A monster that hurt you. Even if you manage to forgive him, he doesn't think he'll ever be able to forgive himself.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, and he sounds pathetic even to his own ears. "I'm so fucking sorry, lovie, I swear ta God I never wanted ta hurt you. I didn't even like doin' that shite, makes me feel like my bloody father. Never want to be like him. I just-- just wanted ta please ya. Make ya feel good."

You sigh, and Simon's sure you're about to tell him that the two of you are over. But instead, he feels your hand on his shoulder, and he looks up, startled. You've got a conflicted look on your face, and he doesn't move, not wanting to interrupt whatever decision you're mulling over.

"I'm still mad at you," you finally say. "You really, really scared me, Simon. And you hurt my fucking feelings. But I-- I also still like you. A lot. So... I'm going to give you another chance. Just one. If you fuck up like this again, we're done."

Simon straightens up, eyes wide. He can't believe what he's hearing. He opens his mouth to thank you, tempted to get on his knees and kiss your damn feet, but you hold up a hand, cutting him off.

"And we can't pick up where we left off, either," you continue. "You broke my trust, and that's going to take time to get back. I'm certainly not going to be comfortable having sex with you anytime soon. But if you can accept that... then I won't leave right now and never look back."

"I can accept it," he says immediately. "I'll do whatever ya want, lovie. Whatever ya need. Don't care how long it takes-- only care about you."

Your expression softens a little at his earnest words.

"What I need right now is some space to get dressed," you answer. "And then I'd like to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. I just-- I want to be touched gently, right now."

Simon nods, standing up and grabbing your clothes to hand them to you. He grabs his own as well and goes to step out of the room. But before he does, he turns to look at you one last time.

"You're not dirty," he says, thinking you might need to hear him say this, too. When your eyes tear up again and a vulnerable expression crosses your face, he knows he's right. "An' you're not a whore. You're beautiful, an' smart, an' far too bloody kind. You're fuckin' perfect, lovie. An' I'll do whatever it takes ta make ya believe that again."

"Thank you," you sniffle, and he gives you a half smile before he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. He quickly gets dressed and queues up the new movie you've been talking about seeing, before grabbing a pint of ice cream from the freezer. It's your favorite flavor. He'd popped out to the shops to get it before you came over.

Simon knows how lucky he is that you're giving him another chance, and he's going to do everything in his power to deserve it.

[contentloadingandstuff]

...And here is the first Monster!Reader I've ever done. I remember it being an ask that simply wanted something with Nilou - the reader was, as I recall, quite surprised and all the more happy with my answer for it. Initially I thought it would be too much - it definitely strays a bit from what you usually get when asking for smut, but I decided to shoot my shot. It turned out great, if reader satisfaction is considered. I also like it, though modern me would definitely write it better. What do you guys think about this one?

While we're on the topic, I'd like to address something. Some people might think (correctly) that older fics are much worse and that they deserve a remake. They won't get one. Why? Two reasons - first, if I were to remake them, I would obscure some important blog history of how my writing evolved. I'm keeping them like this to show how I've improved over the years. And secondly, it would be a less efficient use of my writing time. Instead of reheating old pizza, I'd rather make a new one. It simply gives you more things to read and prevents disappointment and rolling eyes at me just redoing old stuff. I don't want to be Disney!

I hope it works. Does it? I sure hope it does.

Patronage For The Worthy - Incubus!Male!Reader x Nilou

A/N: This idea for the reader has been living in my mind rent free for a good chunk of time, and here it is. Hope everyone likes it!

CW: Cervix sex, Male!Reader

NSFW under the cut.

Nilou opens her eyes. Everything is dark around her. A small amount of light falls through her window, illuminating her covered feet a little. She feels a cold gust of air coming from somewhere to her left. She rubs her eyes, yawns, and sits up in bed. 

She looks around. The window is open, letting the cool summer air move the curtains. Nilou, dressed up in her nightgown, gets up and moves to close it. When she stands before the opening, she can’t help but look out at the city. It’s very late, so only a handful of people roam the streets, illuminated by street lanterns. She looks up at the starry sky, and marvels at the full moon. It’s so beautiful, she thinks. 

“Yes indeed. The moon looks incredible today.”

She freezes in sudden horror. Somebody is in her room. Her heart speeds up, and her chest feels heavy with stress. She slowly turns around.

A man is sitting on the edge of her bed. He has short, dark hair. He seems tall, however the way he is sitting, leaning forward while resting his forearms on his thighs make it hard to judge his true height. Small horns are visible through his hair. The pupils of his eyes glow lightly with a red shine. 

Her eyes go wide. She tries to back away, but she is soon stopped by the windowsill. Her breath speeds up.

“W-who are you? What a-are you? W-what do you want from m-me?!” Her voice cracks from fear. The man stands up, revealing his true height. He is much taller than her, and bigger too. His arms are thick and his shoulders are broad. He raises his large hands up slightly.

Nilou would be ready to use her Vision if it wasn’t this late, if his entry wasn’t so sudden, and if only he wasn’t so… huge. Nilou is certain that with a single swing of his powerful arms he could send her flying. She tries to move, but her body refuses. She is frozen as he approaches her.

“S-stay away! Don’t c-come any c-closer!” Her knees tremble, and she slowly lowers herself to the ground.

“Hey, hey. Stay calm. I mean no harm.” The demon’s voice is surprisingly… normal. It’s nothing like she expected. It’s deep, yes, but very human at the same time. But most of all, it’s calm and steady. Its tone is… oddly soothing.

Her heart starts slowing down against all reason. The man’s aura feels… comforting?

“Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you, alright? Deep breaths, Nilou.” 

With no other choice but to obey, Nilou nods. 

“O-okay… but don’t come any closer. Please.”

The demon crouches down to meet her eye level. In the darkness his eyes give off a faint, red glow. Her visitor shrugs.

“As you wish.”

It takes her a few solid moments to calm down. She takes in the posture of the demon. It’s relaxed and casual, much to her surprise. A soft smile is on his lips all the while. She finds the courage to speak.

“Who are you?”

“Well, as you can see… I’m a demon.” He smiles, revealing two sharp fangs in his mouth. Nilou shivers at how sharp they look.

“And why are you here?”

The demon laughs. “I’m just here to visit you, obviously. See… I have been watching your performances for quite some time now. I must say… they are quite… breathtaking.” His smile widens. Despite how strange this situation is, Nilou can’t help but blush a little at the praise.

“Thank you…”

“...And I believe that great work is to be rewarded properly. So here I am. For this night, you're my mistress. I will do everything you ask of me to the best of my ability.”

What the demon said is still being processed in her mind as he stretches out his left arm towards her. 

“I understand if you don’t trust me. That’s why I will give you my word. And incubi’s words are never empty.”

 Suddenly, his wrist starts glowing. Nilou is taken back by the sizzle and the smell of flesh being burned. The incubus remains still as her constellation is burned into his forearm. The unearthly fire dies down as suddenly as it arose, along with the smell. 

The demon sighs. 

"Now I am not allowed to do anything against your will. As well as this contract, I will provide you with my name. The one thing that allows one to control a demon completely. Call me… Y/N.”

“Y/N…” As she says the word, the demon’s eyes glow blue. “That’s a beautiful name.”

“Yours is as well, Nilou. Or… do you want me to call you anything else tonight?”

Nilou thinks for a moment, before replying. 

“Is it okay if you call me… ��princess’?”

Y/N chuckles. “Of course, princess. It’s all about you tonight. Whatever you wish. ”

Nilou looks at Y/N again. His face bears a smug smile. She traces down to look at his body. It’s large and muscular, but most of it is covered by the casual gown he is wearing. All of his torso, except for a chest window. Before she can fully take it in, the demon speaks again.

“How about we sit somewhere more comfortable, princess Nilou?”

She gives a small nod. Suddenly, Y/N picks her up with one arm, completely effortlessly. She squeals in surprise. He gently lowers her to the bed, and sits beside her. As he does, the clothing parts, letting her see his entire chest. It’s very muscular, with six firm abs and well toned skin. She looks up and down Y/N, taking in his impressive physique. 

"Hey. My eyes are up here, princess." 

Nilou nearly jumps in surprise. Her eyes move from his face to the bed and to the floor in panic. Her cheeks flush red. 

"S-sorry…" She replies somewhat ashamed of how blatantly she was checking him out. 

The demon laughs. 

"Hey, it's okay. Do you like it?" 

"I… u-um… like it a lot." She is redder still, avoiding his smug gaze. 

He suddenly, but gently, grabs her hand, and pulls it to rest on his stomach. 

"You can touch it if you want to. I don't mind."

Nilou gulps. Despite what the demon said, there's still a little spark of worry lingering inside her mind. What if she makes a misstep, and touches him in a spot he doesn't like? He could do something to her… But she has to admit. It's kind of… exciting. To be able to touch such a beautiful body… 

She gently guides her hand along your stomach, feeling every small bump of your muscle. They are firm and hard, yet your skin is soft and warm. So pleasant to touch. She moves up, resting her hand between the breasts, and finds no heartbeat. 

"You… really are not mortal…" She moves up her other hand to your shoulders, gently parting the clothing even further. "May I…?" 

"Yes, feel free. Do what you want with me." You smile encouragingly. 

She removes your top completely, exposing your forearms. She moves closer to you, hands now guiding alongside your forearms. Nilou traces her fingers along the perfect curve of your biceps, taking in how hard, yet soft your flesh is. Her touch is gentle, almost feather light. 

Nilou looks at your face, and an idea suddenly pops into her mind. She lifts her left hand to rest on your cheek. With a slow and careful movement, she moves her thumb to your lips, gently parting them. Her mouth opens slightly as she caresses the teeth. She drags her digit down towards your tongue, and pushes it in slightly. You obediently suck on it, making her blush. 

Nilou clumsily mounts you, and you lean back. She sits on your stomach, and you can feel the heat radiating from her core. She sighs as you speed up your tongue work. Her other hand draws circles around your breast, gently rubbing against the nipple. You let out a soft moan as you surrender to her touch. 

The heat inside her is growing by the second. Y/N… Such a powerful being, big, strong… with nothing but a light press of his sharp teeth he could bite off her fingers, and yet here he is, worshiping her fingers. Such a beautiful creature, surrendering to her every whim… 

Nilou doesn't notice when her hips start moving up and down your abs. You, however, can feel all the wetness seeping through her pajama bottoms. Your hands move to hold her ass, gently helping her move. She gasps when she feels you move, and a small frown appears on her lips. Pleasure? Extortion? Dissatisfaction? You can't tell. 

She grabs your bigger hands and moves them to rest on the covers, pinning them down by the sides of your head. You let her lips find yours as she leans down. Your tongues intertwine, but you let her take the lead. In no time she is exploring your mouth, hips still bucking back and forth against your stomach. 

When she parts with you, hot, blushing and out of breath, you look down at her hips. Her nightgown bottoms are completely soaked in the crotch area. You purr, looking deep into her eyes. 

"Ah, you love that, princess Nilou, don't you?" 

She lets out a small moan, mouth now agape in hard earned pleasure. "Yes…" 

"Let me lend you a hand then."

Your eyes glow, and suddenly her clothes are gone, turned into black particles. This doesn't surprise or startle her. Instead, she just dives into your lips again, exposed pussy rubbing against your soft skin with twice the intensity now. She is too overcome with lust and desire to care, or feel even an ounce of shame. 

With an especially wide hip move, her core rubs against your bulge. In an instant, a new wave of desire overcomes her. Her nose takes in your beautiful, overwhelmingly hot smell, and she can feel that familiar itch between her legs. But this time, her fingers won't do the trick. 

"I want you, now… please… serve me w-with your body, Y/N…" 

Your eyes glow again, and your pants are completely gone in an instant, allowing your cock to spring free of its confines. Without delay, she grabs it in her hand. She rubs her palm against your head, gathering the slick and precum. Nilou timidly takes a whiff of your musk, and her eyes water at how strong it is. Wasting no time, she places your head against her entrance, and slowly, very slowly, starts pushing it in. 

She whines as your tip stretches her body. You move your hands to support her lower thighs, securing her movement. Her eyes flutter shut as she feels her insides being pushed apart, making space for your overwhelming length. She feels so full, so delightfully filled, and yet it's just the halfway point. She moves her hips up and down a little, sending waves of pleasure through the both of you. She moans lightly, hands gripping your shoulders for support. You can feel her fingers digging deeper and deeper into your skin with every millimeter of depth. 

Nilou runs out of breath for a second, before a sweet, loud yelp reaches your ears. You can feel a firm wall of flesh touching your cock. Her eyes roll back, and she falls on your chest, breathing heavily. Her cervix prevents you from going deeper, so you start moving your hips back. Gently, but firmly, you snap them back forward, striking her wall and earning a gasp from her. She digs her nails into you, drawing blood as you fuck her gently. 

Nilou soon convulses, her walls pulsing, throbbing and clenching around your shaft. With her first orgasm, any sense of boundary or restraint is gone. Despite her orgasm induced exhaustion, she starts moving again. You both moan in unison as Nilou lets go of her desires and rides you for another orgasm. 

And then another, and another until her body gave out on her. You left her there, bruised, covered in hickeys and absolutely spent. 

The sleep she had was the best of her life that night. 

—

Nilou awoke the next morning. Every part of her hurt, from her toes to the top of her head. Lightly stretching, she looked around her room. Even though she remembered it to be more or less trashed, it was cleaned. A new set of pajamas, identical to those she lost during the night, was resting on top of her night stand. 

On shaky, sore legs she moved to the bathroom. Moving to the kitchen after washing herself down with lukewarm water, a silver, covered tray caught her attention. A small piece of paper lay next to it. She glanced over the text, written in beautiful, decorative font. 

"Loved the night. Made you breakfast. See you on the next show, princess~ - Y/N."

Nilou lifted the cover, coming face to face with a steaming hot pile of pancakes. She nearly squealed with joy at the sight. The girl rushed to grab some cutlery, but a flash of pain stopped her in her tracks. Rubbing her sore hips, she chuckled to himself. 

Maybe she really did go too far yesterday. 

Thanks for reading!

[timble-tumble]

RIN SCREAMS “KILL YOURSLF” ON ROBLOX VC WHILE BULLYING KIDS ON ADOPT ME AND GETS BANNED (hella long title ik 💔)

TAGS: cussing (like ALOT of cussing), absolute pure crack, implied rin x reader but you can interpret it as platonic if u want, Rin bullies kids (do not be like rin and don't bully anyone)

A/N: I wrote all of this in one sitting.....I'm lowkey so proud of myself this is what no internet does to a person (ty @ace-scream for beta-reading this 🤑)

You and Rin are lazing on the bed, both doing different things; you’re trying to reply to all your friend’s tiktoks after trying to restrain yourself from doomscrolling (you failed miserably), and Rin is furiously tapping away on his iPad playing who knows what.

You sigh, deciding it’s time to do something slightly more productive, opting to bother your boyfriend instead. “Hey. ‘Watcha doin?”

He barely spares you a glance, eyes honed in to the screen in front of him, “Minecraft. I’m trying to collect these half baked skeleton heads so I can summon the Wither.”

“I see. Can I join?”

“No.”

You give him a deadpan look. “Bruh.”

Fine then, if Rin doesn’t want you to join, you’ll go do your own thing; raid the pantry. You pray that there’s some actually good snacks in there, but before you can finish daydreaming about all the possible scrumptious food choices, a loud voice cuts you off.

“WHAT THE HELL. WHERE DID THAT DAMN PIGLIN COME FROM.”

You trot back over to him, stifling a giggle as the death screen displays on the iPad. “Ugh, I give up– I’ll fight the Wither another time,” he swipes off the app and presses on Roblox.

Rin finally looks up at you, “wanna join?”

“I thought you didn’t want me to.”

“Yeah because I don’t want you ruining my Minecraft world. But we should ruin kids’ lives in Adopt Me.”

Wow, my boyfriend really is mentally twelve.

Shaking your head at Rin’s ridiculous behaviour, you decide to indulge and boot up your laptop. “Fine, okay.”

The two of you load into Adopt Me, quickly coming up with the best avatars you’d think would traumatise a 9 year old to scare them and torment the whole server.

“Oh yeah, I finally verified my phone number so I can use voice chat,” Rin mentions.

“Uh oh,” you gulp, “this is not going to end good. Please refrain from insulting them.”

“Why?”

“The freak you mean why,” you lightly slap him on his shoulder, “they’re legit kids, lil bro.”

“I am too. Also DO NOT call me ‘lil bro’.”

You sigh, “you’re sixteen. Don’t try to pull the kid card, you’re legally a teenager.”

“But I’m still underage so I technically classify as a kid.”

You point your finger up, mimicking Rin being all, ‘erm aktually’ and nerd like. “Stop arguing with me and just promise you won’t scream half baked and lukewarm at them.”

Rin pauses, processing your lecture, then looks at his screen, positioning his hands on the joystick. “I have better insults than that up my sleeve.”

“…Rin.”

“Fine– I’ll try not to.”

You roll your eyes, mentally pleading that the police won’t pull up to your doorstep after Rin is done giving kids a ‘dose of the real world’ (his words, not yours). You and Rin decide on a target– ‘Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX - she/her • 9 • ladybug princess • fire & love powers 🔥 • looking for family’.

“I’ll go from above,” Rin equips his propeller, “you use the bicycle and chase her from the ground.”

“M’kay.”

You do just that, hopping on your shitty two person bicycle you always crash while trying to go on the bridge, riding right up to your target. You rub your hands and crack your knuckles before opening up the chat.

RinLover69: hey

Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX: hii

RinLover69: i have a question for u

Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX: ?

RinLover69: have you ever played blox fruits with your mangoes on the line

Rin shoots you a look, “really?”

“Shush it works– GO JUMP ON TOP OF HER.”

Suddenly, a hog avatar with the most horrifyingly stupid accessories lands right on top of Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX. She jumps in response, quickly zipping away from the demon that just spawned from seemingly nowhere.

Rin screams into the voice chat, chasing after her. “COME BACK HERE.”

You take a shortcut, cutting her off as she swiftly turns around and runs right towards Rin who was surveilling in the air. He speaks eerily in a monotone voice, “why are you running from us,” giving not only Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX chills, but also you.

“I think you’ve traumatised the kid. And you’re scaring me,” you say the last part under your breath.

“Not enough. YOU CAN’T RUN FROM ME SHEILA.”

“Good god.”

Assuming this random kid has had enough of Rin’s shit (or is just absolutely terrified), she dies and dips out of existence.

”Oh. What a pussy.”

“UHM, ITOSHI RIN.”

He flinches from you using his full name, “my bad.”

You side eye him before checking the server list, “hm. She’s still in the server. Hollon, she probably teleported to her house.”

“Let’s go then-”

As he attempts to click the teleport button, a message pops up in the centre of his iPad:

WARNING

You have been timed out of voice chat for 5 minutes due to inappropriate language.

“BRUH.”

You burst out laughing, “BAHAHAH YOU DIDN’T MUTE YOUR MIC THAT’S WHAT YOU GET-”

“SHUT UP.”

You decide to pursue Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX on your own while you wait for Rin to get his voice permissions back, scanning all the houses’ names before you find one titled with her user.

“Oh I’m so goated.”

“HAH YES I’M BACK,” he teleports to you, walking right up to the door until he’s basically sniffing it, “oh Sheilaaaaaaaaaaa. Unlock your door.”

Like on command, Sheila pops out and pauses as she’s face-to-face with basically Satan himself.

”Sheila. I know where you live.”

Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX: BRO LEAVE ME ALONE

“Never.” Rin propellers up into the air once again as Sheila runs away, opting to go in a car this time. You chuckle at Sheila’s incompetence for thinking her pathetic hot pink car could outrun your overpowered bike, equipping it and immediately catching up to her. You two run laps around the neighbourhood for a bit, Rin giving you out Sheila’s exact location like he was doxxing someone (he’s probably going to dox Sheila) whenever you lost sight of her.

Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX: SOMEONE HELP ME

Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX: IM GETTING CHASED HELP ME

“No one’s going to save you now. Just give up already.”

As Rin jumps down from the sky to land on top of Sheila again, he abruptly ragdolls and goes blasting off like Team Rocket up into the blocky sun. You shriek in half laughter and half horror as you see your boyfriend’s avatar shoot off never to be seen again.

The most high-pitched shrill of, "KILL YOURSELF–” you never thought Rin would be capable of slowly gets softer and softer the farther he flies off, until its just you and poor Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX.

Rin starts tweaking to the point you wouldn’t be surprised if he just magically enters his flow state, “OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS SHEILA’S FAULT. HER HALF BAKED ASS JUST SHOT ME LIKE A CANON BALL.”

Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX halts her car and faces towards the body flying off like it’s ascending. She turns to you, which you reciprocate by also turning towards her.

RinLover69: uhm

Xx_Princess.Sheila_xX: uhm

RinLover69: this is all your fault sheila your magical love powers just blasted bro into the sky

You immediately leave before you can get reported for something stupid like bullying (you and Rin’s delusional ass agreed both would just sum this up to ‘educating the young’), as your tweaking boyfriend lets out another loud shriek as he gets another voice chat violation.

“FUCK YOU ROBLOX. YOUR PLATFORM IS LUKEWARM AS HELL ANYWAYS.”

“Rin, calm down.”

“SHE FLUNG ME INTO THE SUN LIKE SHE WAS SACRIFICING ME TO SOME GOD.”

“It’s just a game.”

He raises an eyebrow, calming down for a split second, “then I could use that excuse when you’re raging at Block Tales.”

“Okay no– that’s different– Calypso does dog shit nothing in the Demo 4 boss fight–”

“Riiiiiiiight.”

You scoff, shutting your laptop and putting both you and Rin’s devices on charge. You signal to him to get up, offering your hand. “C’mon, let’s go calm down and drink root beer.”

“You drank all of it.”

“Dammit.”

~~

The next day, you and Rin decide to go shit on the previously peak game now turned into a shitty cash grab– Weird Strict Dad. Instead of raging at the insane amount of bugs, glitches and overall dookie gameplay, Rin’s welcomed with yet another lovely message from Roblox:

You have been banned for 10 days.

Username: betterbrother_Rin

Reason: Inappropriate use of voice chat on multiple occasions, swearing, bullying.

If you think we have made a mistake, appeal here.

-Kind Regards,

Roblox Management Team

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.”

“I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL WITH THAT DAMN TONGUE OF YOURS ITOSHI RIN.”

jumpscare

[whumpsday]

Recovery Time

@medwhumpmay Day 29

Medwhump May Masterlist

content: implied torture, pet whump, intimate whumper, timeskip, recovery, comfort

yes i'm still finishing up medwhump may in late june. shhh

-

“Alright, alright, done for now,” Whumper announced.

Whumpee collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut. He crawled into Whumper’s lap, trembling all over, and Whumper’s hands were gentle now, unlike just a moment ago.

“There, there,” she cooed.

He couldn’t find the will to fight it anymore, not like he had in the beginning. The ‘aftercare’ was the only comfort left in his life with Whumper. He needed it like he needed air. For just this short time, he had a guarantee he wouldn’t be hurt. For a small window, he had affection, gauze tenderly wound over his wounds. He could just breathe, even if every ragged breath shuddered through a bruised-up body.

“Tired?” Whumper asked, nonchalant. She pet him like a dog as he laid his head in her lap.

“Yes,” Whumpee murmured.

A small laugh. “You’re so cute like this.”

Whumpee whined, tensing up at the comment. It was never a good sign when Whumper said things like that. There were a lot worse states she found him even cuter in.

“Shh, shh.” Whumper patted him on the shoulder. “It’s over, remember? Over for now. Just rest. No need to get yourself all worked up.”

He didn’t know what came over him. Truly, he didn’t. But “Thank you” were the words he found tumbling out of his mouth. They were gone before he could really think about it, and he didn’t have half the energy to try and correct it.

“Oh, so sweet!” Whumper gushed. “You’re really finding your place here after all.”

-

“Whumpee?” Caretaker poked their head through the door, a plate of pizza in hand and a can of soda tucked under their arm. “Just… checking in. You doing okay? You haven’t come out in a really long time. I brought you some dinner? Plus there’s garlic knots if you want.”

Whumpee hesitantly crawled out from under the bed–mostly out, at least. One foot still under, ready to slip back at any moment, every muscle tensed. “Thank you,” he whispered. People liked it when he said thank you. That was normal, even, both with Whumper and out in the world. Couldn’t go wrong.

But Caretaker didn’t look like they liked it. The concern on their face barely wavered. “You’re, uh, welcome,” they said anyway, setting the dinner on the nightstand. “Is there anything else I can do for you? Seriously, dude. Say the word. I know it’s not easy with all that happened to you, but I really, really want you to feel safe here.”

He couldn’t stop himself. Whumpee burst into tears, right there on the floor.

“Hey, hey, hey, man,” Caretaker knelt down beside him. They reached out a hand to pat him on the back, then seemingly decided against it, letting it fall. “It’s okay. Let it all out. I’m here if you wanna talk.”

Whumpee sniffled. “You said I could ask if there’s anything you can do?” He cringed. “It’s really embarrassing.”

“Pssh, nothing’s embarrassing. Try me,” Caretaker encouraged. “No judgment. You know me. I’m your best friend.”

He couldn’t bring himself to say it. It was too much, too other, and the words caught in his throat. Caretaker wouldn’t understand.

Instead, he just crawled into their lap, resting his head there as he cried.

Caretaker took the cue. They knew him well, even like this. Their arms wrapped around to hold him, like they knew without even being told.

“Can you tell me about how it’s over and stuff?” Whumpee mumbled, his face splotchy with tears.

“Yeah, of course. I’ve got you.” Caretaker’s voice was soft. “It’s over, Whumpee. It’s really, really over. You’re safe, and you’re gonna be safe forever. You’re home.”

And for the first time since he last saw her, Whumpee relaxed.

-

Oneshots taglist:

@icyheart-and-friends

@kira-the-whump-enthusiast

@whuarri

@reborrowing

@paperprinxe

@what-if-i-just-did

Everything taglist:

@lilac-and-lemon-whumps

@t0rture-me

@whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump

@whumpshaped

@pigeonwhumps

@the-scrapegoat

@whumpycries

@lonesome--hunter

@whumpy-wyrms

@all-hail-pigeons

@wolfeyedwitch

@starfields08000

@jumpywhumpywriter

@scoundrelwithboba

[julietcpulet]

Can we PLEASE talk about Maomao giving Jinshi MIXED SIGNALS instead of flat out rejecting his advances? Jinshi is under fire constantly for forcing his advances on Maomao but I don't think Maomao has ever said NO to his face. Now, one could argue that this isn't befitting of her status as Jinshi is an Imperial member, so saying no would be disrespectful... but SHE knows who Jinshi is. She knows Jinshi would NEVER force her if he knew she didn't want it, so then why is she hiding behind her "I'm a commoner" excuse? Why not just tell him that she isn't interested? Instead of saying some vague shit like "it could NEVER work between us!" when she knows DAMN WELL, Jinshi will do ANYTHING to achieve his goals. She has witnessed firsthand in the rear palace how committed he is to see things through the end, so it doesn't really make sense for her to do all this unless a part of her secretly wants Jinshi to try. Not to mention the amount of times she's actually shown care for him PUBLICLY. Jinshi is just as confused as everyone else, so why is he getting flamed for trying to pursue the woman he likes who's done nothing but constantly give him hope?

Whew, putting me on the spot with this one 😅

I’m not sure if you’ve read the light novels so I’m going to just address this kind of broadly without trying to spoil anything or without light novel quotations. I’ll take it that you’ve at least seen the anime so I’ll use some moments from there and hopefully be able to address everything with that.

So, about Maomao sending mixed signals, it actually fits in perfectly with her characterization as an unreliable narrator. Basically, this means we can’t always trust what she’s saying because she often deliberately deceives herself, acts as if she knows nothing when she does or has no feelings when the opposite is true. This makes watching her behavior all that more important than listening to the words she says. This factors in to her relationship with Jinshi immensely as she never truly puts off his advances because as she begins to know who he truly is underneath the masks, she does develop feelings for him. Her actions speak louder than her words do. Her accepting more of Jjnshi’s touch, looking calm in his presence, seeking out his help with problems like Lishu’s ghost. She goes to and thinks about him without much realizing it and that is the telling factor in the honesty of her feelings beneath what she may say. If people take Maomao at face value they miss the genuineness of her character underneath and the beauty of her developing relationship with Jinshi.

You’re right that Maomao doesn’t ever come out and tell Jinshi no to his pursuit of her affection. To me there are several progressive reasons for this:

1. In the beginning Maomao deceives herself he couldn’t be interested in her to that degree due to their separation in status. Also, she does have deep seated insecurities related to her looks and being a servant so Jinshi’s interest merely doesn’t seem realistic to her, as such she doesn’t feel the need to turn him down. Even when they are in the cave together and have become so much closer she continues to make statements about them having a “master / servant” relationship when they have gone past that. She doesn’t entertain he could see her any other way so to her his feelings can be dismissed.

2. As things progress she sees his advances as his “childish behavior” which is a part of him she grows to know as his true self. This in turn brings her to develop genuine affection and feelings. However due to her own denial she cannot voice said feelings aloud or express them in a normal way but neither does she want to reject what to her has become a connection she feels safe and familiar with in Jinshi. This means she isn’t going to reject him outright and her outward actions such as not moving away when he touches her or making faces shows her growing comfort with him. As in the last episode she says she “missed this atmosphere” she had only when Jinshi is with her.

3. Finally, a part of Maomao at this point in the narrative (if you’re only at the Shi clan part of the anime) is starting to develop feelings but lacks understanding of herself enough to grasp the depth of them or how to express that at all. Due to her rough upbringing with her parents history and being raised by sisters who loved her in their own way but didn’t know how to fully meet her needs, she’s had to suppress much of her emotions her whole life. As such she lacks the ability yet to be clear about what she wants, needs or feels about a given person or situation. Even though it was clear she was beginning to understand Jinshi was royalty for some time, she dismissed it purposefully. She does the same thing with her own emotions. She won’t say no to his feelings because at this point she’s come to have her own kind of appreciation for being on the receiving end of them but lacks the capacity still to reciprocate, even if her affection is growing.

For Maomao it isn’t about her secretly hiding behind excuses or wanting Jinshi to fight for her like women who expect men to win their affections. In her case it’s that both she and Jinshi have a distorted sense of what love is and are learning together at the same time. She’s not keeping her feelings from him on purpose, she doesn’t understand them herself and ironically, it’s Jinshi’s unfailing pursuit of her that helps her open up to a better understanding of her own emotions to where eventually she can stop running and confront what she feels for him.

As for people being upset with Jinshi’s pursuit of her despite how uninterested she may seem, that is due to a lack of comprehension regarding the nuance of their dynamic. We see time and time again that Maomao has no problem with the ways in which Jinshi treats her despite her protests. This is further evidence of her ability to say one thing and mean another. She will talk of being put off by Jinshi involving her in his buisness, yet she’s the one going ten times as hard to solve the problems once involved, also sometimes making her own problems and involving him afterward. If people do not grasp that Maomao has a knack for self-deception than they will miss all the important aspects of how she relates to people in the plot.

Also, due to modern sentiments, people take things too much at face value with Jinshi seeming like the typical man who won’t take a hint and Maomao the exasperated woman getting hit on by a guy she has no interest in. This isn’t the case at all between them pretty early on. Maomao is put-off by him more at first due to his sparkly persona as the palace nymph because she discerns how fake it is quickly and doesn’t like it when he acts that way. He continues to pursue her because she’s the one woman who notices his beauty but also sees the person beneath any mask he puts on and sees his value beyond how he looks. So anyone who speaks badly of Jinshi is usually looking at his actions through a basic modern lense and not taking the time to see the depth woven into the story.

Overall Maomao isn’t trying to lead Jinshi on and he knows this. It’s why she’s often frustrated with him because he can read her so well. So his pursuit of her isn’t unfounded. What is seen as her initial resistance quickly turns into a soft affection which is where the anime is at currently. Hope this answers some of your questions and clears up Maomao’s feelings towards Jinshi a bit 😄

[the-one-who-lambs]

Congratulations on your well-deserved achievements!! If you have time, here's my Narinder.

As of the chapter I'm currently writing, he's very recently realized that he's in love with my Lambert and promptly handled it by turning the slow burn into a wildfire really really really quickly and violently (spoilers below cut in case any of my followers aren't caught up). Things had to get worse before they got better for reasons that will be clear in the next couple of chapters, but at the moment he's riddled with guilt + doesn't feel he deserves forgiveness.

Narinder's just gonna approach Dulciter and stare until they make a move first.

Context: He freaked out and decided he needed to rip off the band-aid and kill Lambert asap because he's convinced he's incapable of NOT hurting anyone he loves so he made a desperate, panic-driven attempt to get it over with. Long story short, they found out what he was doing and he accidentally got himself killed instead and Lambert had to bring him back after having a full-scale emotional crisis at failing to protect him. Once the dust settled, Lambert could finally be angry with him and that's where readers were left lol. Congrats little buddy that's the worst anyone's ever done it

They're gonna have a VERY happy ending but he doesn't know it yet now LMAO

HELLOOOOOO!! I wanted to announce that I will be opening up a “kissing booth”, this means that you may request anything from Dulciter! Reblog to this post with your request!!! Or dm me! And I’ll reply back with a drawing! (You can use your OCs/ doesn’t have to be strictly lamb). (This has been requested a lot (save me)). It doesn’t necessarily have to be a kiss, it can be whatever you’d like (nothing freaky please). I wanted to say thank you all so much!!! For the love and support, reaching almost 1k on tumblr, 660 on insta and almost 900 on TikTok. I don’t have the words to express my gratitude, after leaving art for a long time.. I did not expect that my silly little lamb drawings would catch anyone’s attention and now here I am, surrounded by amazinglot talented people. I hope to keep bringing a little joy (and suffering) to all of you! Thank you so much again 🍎

[yuurivoice]

Sorry I've been MIA, I felt like giving a stressful update on Finn's birthday (happy solstice!) would have been a bummer.

Haru got worse on Friday morning, with no appetite and a poo situation I will not give details on, just know that what came outta him was a sign that his lower intestines were now also inflamed.

So began the most stressful day of Haru's illness. The situation was hilariously fucked.

Haru is being treated with a steroid. We sent it in to be compounded (turned into a liquid) because he's bad with pills. Unfortunately, that takes 24-48 hours WITH priority notice.

Juneteenth meant pharmacy was closed because federal holiday (as it should be, you orange rat fuck).

So multiple days after our visit, still no meds. Then, booty blast on that morning and I'm like okayyyyy that's not good and this steroid might take an entire day still.

Call Big Vet. Big Vet off work AND on vacation until WEDNESDAY. They say just bring Haru into the emergency center. Problem is, we literally already know what's wrong, we just need the medicine and maybe to switch to a shot to get the fastest results because he has gotten so bad. Spending 1k to be told "give him the medicine you need to give him" is the dumbest solution, though I was willing to do it if I couldn't find a more reasonable option.

I call Local Vet. Receptionist is a saint. She makes phone call to Big Vet to see if she can get something done. I bring up doing the prednisolone as a shot, she asks in the back. Maybe, but Local Vet wants to talk to Big Vet first.

Remember how Big Vet is long gone? Yeah. Not happening.

So I check on Haru. He's rough. Not too interested in food, and barfed for the first time in days because I couldn't give him his meds he needed without eating + the food helps keep the juices down.

I enter freaked out cat dad mode, am determined to get meds in him asap, even if it requires special trip to urgent care even though that's SO FRUSTRATING.

I call Local Vet again to see what we might be able to do. I give all the info as quickly as I can to a new receptionist, and she says she'll speak with Local Vet.

Finally, after days of keeping it together, I'm a sobbing mess as I sit with the cats. Fleaona looks at me like omg what is wrong with him, Haru is staring at me really tired. I compose myself.

Receptionist calls back. Local Vet is saying hang in there and we'll discuss when she talks to Big Vet. At this point I'm like okay, cool. But if he's not eating, ass exploding, and declining, what happens when I wait until Wednesday? You see the issue.

I'm definitely like voice cracking and choking back my tears as we hang up. Haru has been sick likely for weeks as we've tried all these different things. We finally know exactly how to give him some relief and I'm at the mercy of a pharmacy that might take an entire 24 more hours. I get frustrated that I didn’t just take the pill form, or at least ask to have some administered that day to hold us over. I could have also pushed for the shot instead of either of those options.

I'm fucked up. Get a call from the Big Vet herself, she wants to get the info from me directly. Very sweet, understanding. I'm going through the explanation and she goes "......wait. He HASN'T had a dose of his medicine yet???" and I'm like no girl that is the problem!!!!!

She immediately tells me to bring him in and apologizes for the runaround, now realing why I'm tripping. Says she'll examine him for free just to make sure he's not critical or anything, and give him a pill version just to get him started asap.

She gives me a big ass hug when I arrive and honestly gave me some aftercare for all the fucking life has been giving me. lmfaoooo

She's a gem, told her this haircut I got (spoiler) while trying to play phone tag ended up looking like a fuckass bob. She's like girl pls I love your cunty little bob! 😂 I realize that I've 100% made the right choice with this specific local vet, felt like we should have been yapping over margaritas. She literally spent most of her lunch break with me just letting me ramble about Haru's health history.

Got to give her the tea about when I broke up with that specific clinic before when Haru almost died as a baby. She was mind blown. Also says she isn't shocked because some of the older folks in vet care refuse to be wrong. Ends with saying my cats are lucky to be loved by me and that I give off incredible vibes. Didn't cry again, but a bitch thought about it. 😂

Also profusely thanked the receptionists for their help, and for dealing with me when I was getting tense and explaining at 100mph. They were lovely.

Then, as I turn onto my neighborhood I go "wow wouldn't it be fucked if I got a call about the other meds being ready for pickup?" and as I turn onto my street....the call comes. It's ready.

So like........thank you for being patient with me. I hate that the timing has been like this and that it's all such a mess. There is important shit I need to be doing, I just gotta get Haru on the mend. And I think FINALLY we are.

Dude has been through so much in his little lifetime, and it all feels like it could have been avoidable. My biggest goal is just to make sure we get whatever it is that's going on with him managed and monitored for good. He has such a good poker face. His guts must have been fucked up for weeks to have gotten this bad, but he's only just now showing the wear and tear.

We are on track now, and I'm trying to allow myself to rest long enough to get back on my feet soon. Today I sold off another round of my Pokemon cards. I found some heavy hitters in boxes tucked away in my garage. There was a TCG Buy Sell Trade event at the local arcade (where I bought Stanley with my tickets lol) and ya boy made out like a bandit. It was really fun and the community is really cool. 😭 I also got some good friend time at a Witchy Market.

So now.........I'm gonna chill. 💖

[glowettee]

✧・゜: self-discipline doesn't mean hating yourself into action :・゜✧:・゜✧

hey lovelies! ✧

i've been thinking about this a lot lately… how did we all collectively decide that being mean to ourselves was somehow the path to getting things done? like, who started this toxic rumor that self-discipline means internal screaming and punishment? because honestly? i spent years believing that the only way to accomplish anything was through this weird self-bullying technique and it was literally the least effective approach ever.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the wake-up call ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

last semester i hit a wall with my essay project. i had been doing that thing where you stare at your laptop, call yourself lazy in your head, promise to work for 8 straight hours to "make up for it," then get overwhelmed and watch netflix instead. but one night at like 2am (why do all realizations happen at 2am??) i wondered what would happen if i just… stopped being mean to myself about it?

what if self-discipline was actually about being the most understanding friend to yourself instead of the worst drill sergeant?

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ what actually works ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

start ridiculously small, i'm talking embarrassingly tiny steps. want to write that paper? commit to just opening the document and typing a single sentence. need to clean your space? just put away three things. the magic is that once you start, continuing feels so much easier.

create environments that make things easier, not harder. i rearranged my desk so everything i need is within reach and visible. stopped trying to work in my bed (even though it's so comfy) because my brain associates it with sleep and tiktok scrolling.

acknowledge the resistance instead of fighting it. when i feel that "i don't wanna" feeling, i literally say to myself "i hear you, and it makes sense you feel that way. what's one tiny piece we could do?" talking to myself like i'm my own bestie changed everything.

use curiosity instead of judgment. instead of "why am i so lazy?" (which never helps), try "i wonder what's making this hard for me right now?" sometimes the answer surprises you. maybe you're actually just hungry or need better lighting.

build in rest BEFORE you crash. i started scheduling actual breaks before i felt desperate for them, and somehow i get more done? it's like my brain knows it's not going to be held hostage forever.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the permission slip approach ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

my favorite technique lately has been what i call "permission slip productivity" where i literally write myself little notes giving permission to:

work imperfectly (first drafts can be messy!)

take breaks without guilt

change my approach if something isn't working

celebrate small progress instead of only the end result

acknowledge when something is genuinely difficult

there's something so powerful about physically writing yourself permission. it sounds silly but it works because it interrupts that mean inner voice that's been programmed into us.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the results speak for themselves ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

the wildest part? i actually get MORE done now that i've stopped the self-hate productivity method. turns out your brain works better when it's not being constantly criticized? who knew!

my essay (very big essay) got finished early. my room stays cleaner. i actually enjoy my study sessions now instead of dreading them. and most importantly, i don't feel that heavy cloud of shame following me around everywhere.

self-discipline isn't forcing yourself through misery, it's creating systems that work WITH your natural tendencies, not against them. it's about making things easier, not harder. it's about treating yourself like someone you actually care about.

and maybe the real glow-up isn't just checking things off your to-do list, but doing it without sacrificing your relationship with yourself in the process.

what about you? have you been trying to hate yourself into productivity? might be time for a gentler approach. you deserve that kindness from yourself. (and honestly? it just works better.)

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[sunny-knight]

THE INTERMISSION

Analysis - i need to yap about this or im gonna explode

This is by far my absolute favorite moment of this newest episode, Hell- OF THE ENTIRE SHOW. I need every frame of this beautiful feat of animation in my blood stream NOW!!!!!

I KNOW there has got to be at least a little bit of symbolism buried in this sequence that either alludes to things we already know, or foreshadows things to come, and THAT IS WHAT I LIVE FOR.

Disclaimer!

Trigger warnings of the show apply here!

Also keep in mind that I understand a lot of this may be “over-analyzing”, but I really like finding meaning in art even if it wasn’t intentional! So to avoid justifying every claim over and over with that- I'm just gonna say it here and be done with it. I like analyzing media and personally getting something out of it :3

Set Up!

Before analyzing the scene itself, I want to go through and see what it represents as a whole, in reference to the shows format, and for THAT we need to look at episodes 1-4. Every one so far has had a dialogue-less/dialogue minimum scene where some sort of character development takes place.

Examples of that are…

Episode 1: to the track “Your New Home”, we see Pomni accept her new circumstances, its not a dream/nightmare, and she will “never” get out of here. (which is debatable, but still).

Episode 2: to the track “Not Alone” we see Pomni, (again). instead of just accepting her new circumstances, she more comes to an understanding of it. She will not be forgotten, and her life still has meaning.

Episode 3: in the track (Unnamed 😔) with Pomni, (AGAIN) we see she comes to an understanding of the very nature of this world. It’s hard to believe she wont end up abstracted in the end, even if she knows she wont be forgotten. Eventually though, she comes to the conclusion that she can get through this.

Episode 4: to the track “Still Going” we get Gangle! In how she smiles without her happy mask, marking an arc completed to her happy mask breaking troubles. The interpretation that she kills herself at the end still exists- which… isn’t great- and honestly idk how to interpret that in this case. But my point still stands about character growth ☝️

In all of these, the musical sequences mark a sort of resolution to the arc that the entire episode had built up to. Not all of them are entirely positive, but they still show that some sort of lesson has been learned, and a new chapter of their characters development has begun.

…

But then. Episode 5. The musical sequence thats very clearly focused on Caines character…is just. Utter nonsense. It even gets interrupted- it’s in the middle of the episode, he freezes/has some sort of malfunction afterwards, he ends it in the very same place he was before.

That, I find incredibly interesting. Instead of the episode building up to some spesific problem of Caines that he will end the episode improving on, it feels as if the entire show has been leading up to this one MASSIVE issue. (With Gangle and Pomni, we see pieces of their character improve, not one MAIN issue thats the source of every single one of their problems).

But we’re only halfway through the show, so of course, the sequence happens halfway through the episode. It acts more as a checking in with Caine and getting confirmation that aaahhaaaa- HE IS NOT DOING GOOD.

THE INTERMISSION!!!

(Most of the notes will be coming chronologically)

The text “Intermission Time.” , feels like one of the adventure introduction thingies, and while I don't have much to say on the text itself besides it being a lot colder than usual, (possibly more examples of Caine losing his joy and whimsy,) that's just a cool detail I wanted to note. Treating this like an adventure, since this is a sequence all about Caine losing his mind, its only fitting him going insane is it’s own adventure as its quite literally all he knows.

Everyone’s faces in the beginning seem to be their reaction to suddenly being transported from a calming star gazing scene.. to...this. Thats just sort of a fact instead of speculation, BUT IT WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER when considering certain things in other scenes, because the fact that everyone is conscious while unwillingly participating in this “adventure” makes the entire scene feel very unnerving. But that’ll be a repeating factor that will come up later. For now- just keep that in mind.

The part with Caines teeth eating itself makes me immediately think of metaphors involving self destruction, even the A.I. that we deal with in real life, how it eats itself when copying off of things its made that were never correct to begin with.

The neon colors + black and white motif are really pretty stylistically, but since this is entirely Caine point of view/his creation with no one else's influence, it feels like an example of how he sees these people/the world. Black and white, simple, 0 depth. We can already pretty easily infer that from how he handles Zoobles problem in ep 3, I just like how this adds to that.

Before continuing with the visuals- I need to address “the lyrics" here. I like the line "welcome to the digital circus!" turning into "come to the digital circus.”, plus noting the lack of "amazing". They add to Caines forceful nature and insecurities that have been incredibly emphasized lately/in this episode. Lastly, the effect the words have, (how they keep skipping over themselves) is another stylistic choice that has really cool layers to it. It’s fitting for the aesthetic, yes, but it also sounds as if Caine is glitching, like in the “I am such a good b̶̘̮̟̙͋͑̔ō̴̢̹̞̣̽͠s̸͔̳̍̓͐̂s̷̺͚̜̺̑” scene.

Bubble being mixed in with Caines eyes in the dice part…Bubble being as involved as much he is, is odd- and I cant tell what kind of character he’s supposed to be. My current theory is he’s just someone Caine made to not feel as lonely, and in some ways, reflects Caines own emotions/thoughts. Bubble being with Caines eyes somewhat supports that I feel, I just like that it turns into a die though. Symbolizing how random and just- by chance Caines thought process is currently. He’s the very opposite of “calculated”.

(Jax falling into the void followed by Zooble and Gangle is something I feel has more depth that I cant think of… I try to question what they all have in common that Ragatha, Kinger, and Pomni dont…) (Like Gangle and Zooble hate Jax, yeah, but so does Ragatha so why isn’t she involved in that?)

Caine being surrounded by eyes- THIS SHOT MAKES ME FEEL SO MANY EMOTIONS. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. First lets get the biblical angel imagery out of the way- plus the spotlight bringing up some “going in the cellar” imagery. The multiple eyes being related to the abstractions…Possible abstraction symbolism?? But that isnt the part that gets me. Its’s the fact that if you look REALLLY closely you can see Caine is breathing. This. THIS- Its so hard to catch, and such a subtle detail- BUT THATS THE THING. One of the golden rules of animation is “living things dont remain perfectly still.” He’s A.I…. But he sure as hell acts alive a lot of the time. If you look at Caine from far away, you’ll see nothing but a mindless A.I, but if you look really closely, you’ll see he’s got a lot more too him. He’s alive, just like Gummigoo and the other “intelligent A.I’s”.

(Something about that line by the way. The way Caine uses the word “OTHER” makes me question….What is he talking about? Bubble is said to be a MUCH simpler A.I. than Caine, but the way he says that makes it sound like he and Bubble both are “intelligent A.I.s”… I don’t even know what that means though- intelligent artificial intelligence? Bubble seems far from intelligent- IDK. WE’RE GETTING SIDE TRACKED.)

Pomni and Jax get hit by bowling balls, Ragatha and Gangle get hit by cakes, and Kinger holds up the bowling ball before being THROWN OFF by a black chess piece. I think this all gives some light onto how the others first handled joining the circus. Since all we have for reference so far is Pomni, I can totally see Jax reacting in a similar explosive way. Meanwhile the cake may show how Gangle and Ragatha, (while I can’t imagine they took it WELL) didn’t get hit by the realization like a TRUCK. More like a slow burn (therefore not getting as quickly acclimated to the situation as Pomni has, and Jax is assumed to have.) But then for Kinger…he actually did REALLY WELL! since he came in with his wife! ….and then she abstracted and instead of getting crushed- he just completely fell off. Also this scene is another good example of how aware and- not willing the cast is in this part of the episode, telling from their expressions.

( I debated this also maybe being an example of how Caine views the members? Zooble is excluded because he’s like really mad at them right now? But if thats the case, then I don’t know what Kinger being hit by a black chess piece means.)

The next part has to sort of be digested all at once- Bubble about to bite Pomni, Caine stopping that, holding everyone over his head, then Bubble biting them ALL, and leaving a red trail. The Intermission sequence as a whole is telling us about Caines current mental state of pure decay and insanity, while also reminding us how much power he has over the cast. The scene with him holding them over his head gives a sort of play-things vibe. These 2 purposes/vibes of insanity vs power go hand in hand, where the scary part of them being at the mercy of this guy, is the fact that they're at the mercy of THIS GUY. But where Bubble tries to eat Pomni, Caine stopping that, before Bubble eats them all makes me think its saying that “no matter how much power Caine has, he isn’t immune to the effects of the situation.” Like this is taking a toll on ALL of them and they’ll all be consumed by it if things keep going the way they are. Kinger is the human thats been here the longest and is- crazy- but how is the guy who’s been here since the BEGINNING doing?

The hand scene is SO GREAT. We have 4 hands, before 2 of them squash the other pair, and create 4 more, then descending further into the madness. I feel this could point to the fact that creation and making things out of what Caines already familar with is driving him insane- plus that varsity jacket merch showing the hands being angel wings…something something Caine savior complex

Pomni, Zooble, and Jax all posing feels really off. THIS is the part that throws me for a loop in terms of- bodily atonamy and…morals. They’ve all been worried and confused so far, so posing like their in a music video doesn’t make as much sense. This way, we can easily assume that UHHH Caine is posing them like dolls. Jesus. The point of him having complete and utter control over them just gets worse and worse-

(The mannequin dance just looks cool I have no notes on that)

FINALLY! WOW! We get the scene from the wacky watch website! the “SOS CQD I AM LOSING MY MIND, ALSO HI”. That text always got me because it showed a very uncharacteristic amount of- self awareness from Caine. He is calling for help, is he LOSING his mind. Thats not what we got from him in this episode though, it makes me think that maybe…His situation is similar to Kingers? In the way that there is SOME consciousness buried deep within him that we can maybe reach later in the show? please? I just want him to be happy…

Caine ominously snapping, before showing a clip of Jax’ trauma, then being interrupted MAKES ME THINK HE WOULD HAVE KEPT GOING WITH EVERYONE ELSE IF THAT DIDNT HAPPEN 😭 Thats complete speculation on my part, but thats the first time we ever saw a scene like that in a moment entirely revolving around Caine- where we explore TRAUMA! (especially fucked up because we’ve already established he is fully aware during this part)

(The snap having a cartoon bonk effect is really amusing though, paired with the generic circus/carnival music fills me with so much joy)

…

OVERALL.

The animation is TO DIE FOR. The music SLAPS. IM IN LOVE WITH THE SEQUENCE EVEN WITHOUT ALL THE POTENTIAL HIDDEN MEANING

[verreerrant]

Its my turn to Rant!!

Ragatha rant time babyyee. Ep5 spoilers

So Ragatha is socially incompetent. Not awkward but fully on she does not know how to act around people, much less of how act like herself around people. We've seen a bit of it in earlier episodes with her brushing off her feelings, others feelings, and actions done by others as well.

But it's glaring in this episode. Right away she tries to comfort Pomni, since the jester looks miserable, but then walks off with Kinger when she doesn't get a response. Jax recognizes that and comments. She does that a lot with Gangle, bare minimum to check in, more to sooth herself, before continuing to try and make herself feel better (ie. Argue with Jax, help Kinger).

She cannot read a room guys. Jax and Pomni are talking under the stars, she walks over, and instantly starts with the usual tango her and Jax have, not waiting to see that it's a bit more somber and notice his tone. When Pomni asks Jax a question Ragatha answers for him, then realized she did something wrong, only after she saw he glaring, then apologizes. I do think she actually felt really bad about this, she is definitely one of the more expensive of the bunch.

Later, at the bar, they talk about jobs, Gangle touches about about her school life. Ragatha starts to overshare trauma, stops herself when she sees the others looking at her (she never finished listing off her issues), then tries to tangent into humour, it goes very badly.

look how uncomfortable she looks, she does not know how to breath in even casual social interacts. And that's the thing, she is the only one that we haven't seen casual interacts with. She only is there to try to be positive, argue, or listen to the others. We rarely see her actually try and Talk with someone other than Kinger.

Softball. This is a big one for her. Pomni tries to talk to her a give her a pep talk. Ragatha DOES NOT WANT THIS TALK look at her face-

shes irritated and brushes off Pomni. She doesn't believe that any thing that she isn't doing will work. Then her and Jax argue and she riles up easily, takes Pomni's words extremely literally then uses that as her excuse.

She may have done it to prove to herself that changing and being negative doesn't work. Do exactly what jester said in the most heavy handed way then throw it out as not something she should be. She walks off, then avoids that and changes topics to the game. When Pomni returns, Ragath looks scared at first (probably the earlier mentioned abuse reaction)

She doubles checks with Pomni, then accepts. Since she really does feel the need to prove herself and she has spent the entire day failing at talking to people. But she has faith that she can do softball. Then she doesn't get to do that

That was her chance to show Pomni she was "good" instead Pomni is not paying attention, she didn't get to hit the ball, and she is still angry. And then we get those three seconds of silence.

Like. Damn okay, she's really upset. Even after Kinger and the others congratulate her she still looks to Pomni and is upset about the casual time her and Jax are having. That this either day Jax has been feral, and is being rewarded for it, but she has been trying hard to do something, and is now alone.

And at the end, she doesn't try to solve her own feelings, she gives up and moves on. There's a lot more to it that I'm sure others can explain better but bottom line is. Ragatha does not understand how to act around people since she isn't very emotionally intelligent, she's just desperately trying to be. Obviously she is affected by past abuse and that frames how she handles interactions with others, she is very much aware and against what her mother did, and now she's overcorrecting and still not healing.

[edwardhartenjoyer]

Hi, can i please req a pt 2 of Drunken Night? What happens the next morning

Of course, Anon! I honestly kept meaning to make a part 2, but it kept slipping through the cracks, so thank you for helping me get my butt in gear

Drunken Night Delight Pt. 2

Haru groaned at the mild pounding in his head as he slowly came to consciousness. He really overdid it on the drinks last night, huh?

He was trying to rack his brain on what time it even was, the upcoming business of the day starting to weigh on his mind before he froze. He wasn't alone in bed.

He opened in his eyes and held his breath, as though he was afraid even breathing would disturb the scene playing out before him. There you were, fast asleep with your head tucked up against his chest and arms wrapped tightly around him.

He racked his brain, trying to remember what happened last night after he'd started drinking that led to you sleeping in bed with him. At least both of you had clothes on so he knew nothing happened. He was sure if he was happy or sad about that but didn't dwell on it as you shifted around.

He worried you were waking up and this peaceful momnet would end. Instead, you just nuzzled into him more, mumbling out a contented sigh that sounded suspiciously like his name.

He felt heat rise to his cheeks, and he gently wrapped his arms around you tighter. He knew he had to get up. He had so many things to get done, and Towa and Ren certainly weren't going to do them, but this was so nice.

He'd fallen hard for you. He'd been wanting to tell you, but he knew with your curse the last thing you needed to worry about was your feelings, so he held back, even though it killed him to not tell you. Instead, he'd found little ways to be near you, like calling you over to help out or coming to the bar when he knew you were going to be there helping Rui.

It didn't take long before you began to shift around again, this time as you were starting to wake up. Haru reluctantly let go of you and started to slip quietly out of the bed, hoping to be gone before you woke up and saw him.

He had no such luck, barely making it off the bed before you sat up, blinking sleep from your eyes as you looked to him "Haru?" You asked.

"Hey MC, morning sleepyhead! Sorry for whatever happened." He apologized, grinning sheepishly. You frowned a bit, suddenly looking sad.

"Oh. It's no worries, but um..do you remember anything you said last night?" You asked and he felt a brief wave of panic.

"Last night? Nope! All a blur!" He said quickly, and oh no, now you looked even sadder.

"Oh..okay, well, see you later I guess.." you mumbled, and oh god you looked sk heartbroken that Haru couldn't leave you.

"Hey, why don't you remind me what I said?" Haru asked, climbing back onto the bed to sit next to you.

"It's fine. You were probably just drunkenly rambling." You mumbled, refusing to look at him. He frowned. He had an idea of what he'd said, and judging by your reaction, he was pretty sure his guess was right. Though a part of him didn't dare hope he was correct.

"Did I tell you I love you?" He asked softly, "Because even if that's not what I said, then I'm saying it now."

You froze and slowly turned your head to look at him and he felt a spike of fear go through him. Oh he messed this up. He read your expression wrong and -

Suddenly, your lips were pressed against his, and he melted into your kiss, pulling you closer as he kissed you back.

When the kiss ended, you smiled softly at him, a faint blush on your cheeks. "I love you too, Haru."

[lovelynim]

Photobombing

Link Click - Xia Fei & Cheng Xiaoshi

A/N: This is for my one and only, dearie Max ( @wertzunge ). I think I lost track of how much I owe him. For missing his birthday, for when he welcomed me back after my hiatus, and for still wasting his time on projects with me... he's done a lot!

So I hope I can make up to some of these things with this little piece, hehe. I remember I also left you hanging last time I opened requests, so let's say I'm also making it up for that, 'kay? ~

Summary: Xia Fei invites Cheng Xiaoshi to participate in a photoshoot along with him.

Word count: 1122 words.

[Also on Ao3]

“Perfect, a little close to- y-yes! That’s it! Hold that pose!”

The photographer's excited instructions echoed through the studio while bright, white flashes lighted up the place over and over. In the center of everyone’s attention, Cheng Xiaoshi and Xia Fei stood back to back, their smiles and poses almost perfectly coordinated. Almost.

It didn’t take a specialist to tell who of the two were the actual professional and who was the guest. Xia Fei had already lost count of how many shots they had to redo because Cheng Xiaoshi blinked, flinched or just did something out of the script.

While those flawed moments wouldn’t exactly be cherished by the present staff and even by Xia Fei himself, they were what made sitting by this photoshoot worth for Lu Guang. Since he didn’t manage to convince Cheng Xiaoshi to not take part in this whole thing, he thought he should just enjoy his “talent display” in modeling.

After another round of camera’s clicks, the photographer took a moment to look at the preview results of each picture, allowing the two on stage a small break. “Boys,” he muttered, “can you stand a little closer to each other?”

“Hm?” Xia Fei tilted his head, looking at the props near them, “how, exactly? Like this?” He suggested as he reached and grabbed Cheng Xiaoshi by his arm, wrapping his arm around the other guy’s shoulder.

The photographer arched an eyebrow, as if studying the possibilities. “Looks too bland, something is missing… Let’s try using the scenario some more, Felix.”

Xia Fei nodded, letting his eyes wander around before having one prop capturing his attention. He waved towards the staff, pointing to one fancy armchair, “can we use that one?”

Of course, no one would deny his suggestions. It took the staff not more than a couple seconds to set it in the middle of those countless spotlights. “This will do”, Xia Fei hummed, leaning into the chair before taking a seat at the armrest. He gave the seat a couple pats, inviting Cheng Xiaoshi over.

“W-woah, it’s so comfortable,” the latter muttered, excited. Xia Fei laughed, already changing his facade back to that charming, model-like smile.

“Don’t get distracted now,” he whispered back, watching through the corner of his eyes as Cheng Xiaoshi tried a couple different poses before the white flashes started to flare up again. “It won’t look good if you end up with your eyes closed in every picture.”

On the other side of the camera, the photographer zoomed back and forth, sometimes closing the frame around just one of them for a solo shoot. “Boys, pay attention over here, please,” he ordered again, trying to stop the two guys’ little banter.

However, while he was focusing on his work, teases went back and forth between the two and, like a snowball rolling down a mountain, it didn’t take long before things escalated and chaos installed itself on set.

In a blink of an eye, the next row of pictures had a sudden change of theme, carrying a story of their own instead of photos styled to the liking of the agency’s client.

In the first, Xia Fei posed with a confident, smug smile as he looked down to Cheng Xiaoshi from the armrest where he was sitting. He was slightly shrugging his shoulders, as if pointing out something obvious, yet oblivious to the latter. Cheng Xiaoshi, meanwhile, had replaced the stiff, staged smile for an annoyed grin, his brows furrowing while he pointed a finger at Xia Fei - as if warning him.

The second picture managed to capture some sudden action and would’ve probably added some blurs to the photos if it wasn’t for the high quality of the lens and the high frame rate. From their previous pose, it changed to one where Cheng Xiaoshi had his arm wrapped around Xia Fei’s body, pulling the model down for the height of the armrest. Xia Fei had a surprised, panicked expression while his feet kicked up and hands reached for whatever they could grab - as some sort of attempt to recover his lost balance or stop the imminent fall.

Then, in the third picture, the duo seemed to shift into another scene. As Xia Fei fell into Cheng Xiaoshi’s lap, the hand that was first wrapped around the model’s body was now latched into his right side. Xia Fei’s once confident, smug smirk had now turned into a panicked, forced smile. As for Cheng Xiaoshi, he was captured by the camera while also moving his other hand towards Xia Fei’s body, reaching to the yet unattended side.

By the fourth picture of that row, it was already obvious and clear as day: Cheng Xiaoshi, moved out of revenge, was tickling Xia Fei. The latter pressed his eyes shut, his hands desperately holding onto Cheng Xiaoshi’s wrists, his legs flailing while he seemed to try to push himself up and out of the other’s hold.

What started as some modeling to, supposedly, promote a new outfit brand had now turned into a playful banter between the two on stage. Four, five, six… the whole camera row seemed to be “bombed” by the shift of scenes and not even the photographer seemed to have a hold of the situation anymore.

“Take that back!” Cheng Xiaoshi groaned, his voice slightly distorted as Xia Fei’s palm pressed against his face, trying to push him away. “I’m the most handsome on camera and you know it!”

Xia Fei shook his head, his free arm now wrapping around his stomach in a vain attempt to shield himself from the angered tickling. “L-lehEHehet gohoho ahahalready!! AHAhah, s-sohohomeone, hehehelp me!”

“Boys, p-please…” The photographer sighed, the camera already lowered since there was no point in wasting more storage space with pictures like that. He felt his heart clenched while watching Xia Fei’s squirming wrinkling up his and Cheng Xiaoshi’s clothes, their play-fighting messing up their hairs and nearly landing a kick at the nearby props. “W-we need to finish this by the evening and-”

“Excuse me,” Lu Guang hummed, gently poking the man’s shoulder, “you are not going to use these pictures, right?”

“H-huh? No, I mean, we could even do it, but you can barely see their outfits at this point,” the man sighed, going back through the sequence of messed up shoots. “We are probably just discarding them.”

“So can I have some of them?” He smiled, having to hold back his reaction when the man nodded to his request and allowed him to save those pictures on his phone. Cheng Xiaoshi definitely didn’t look like a model at that point, Lu Guang thought, but looked cute enough to deserve having his photos preserved somewhere else.

[greghatecrimes]

rating the house md cast based on how I think they'd treat me if I showed up at the ER with my rarely-diagnosed mast cell disease*

*=this was supposed to be funny and memey but then i took it too seriously and thought about what it would actually be like irl. based on their canon personalities + behaviors, not real world medical care. inspired by a similar post from @/ditzydiitsi.

(context: mast cell diseases are basically yr body having allergic reactions to things you're not actually allergic to. i end up in the er when i've done everything i can do (except stab myself with an epipen) + am still reacting.)

cuddy: she is so busy. I see her once for two minutes the entire few hours I'm there. she talks to me long enough to prescribe the steroids I need to suppress the reaction and tells the nurses to watch me and keep epinephrine on hand just in case i spontaneously explode into anaphylaxis (which, given mast cell diseases. fair.). she prescribes a different steroid from the one i asked for/that my doctor normally uses, though, and it gives me more side effects. 5/10.

house: only came down to the ER because cuddy told him what my diagnosis is. horrible bedside manner, but he hears my medical history and symptoms and 1) starts DDX-ing and asks if i've ruled out SM (systemic mastocytosis), and 2) immediately blasts me with max dose dexamethasone, pepcid, and benadryl to keep the reaction from going any further. then he orders a bone marrow biopsy (textbook "gold standard" for disproving mastocytosis) once I tell him SM hasn't been fully ruled out in my case. -5 points for the extra procedure & the soreness it would leave me with, but +3 back because he'd take me seriously when i tell him local anesthetic doesn't work on me (EDS things). he'd tell the team to knock me out with propofol when they do the biopsy, no versed sort of shit here. he'd probably want a blood sample so he can do genetic tests/look at my genetic mutations just for funsies, since i have multiple genetic conditions (both with kinda vague/unclear causes), and tbh i'd let him. i leave with steroids, proper pain management post biopsy, and answers. 7.5/10

wilson: only gets given my case because mast cell diseases fall vaguely under hematology (and oncologists usually end up specializing in both hematology & oncology). is incredibly kind to me but is also very busy, and most of my contact is with the nurses. probably also wants a bone marrow biopsy to rule out SM, but gives me a card to call the hospital and schedule one at my convenience. forgets to prescribe me steroids when he discharges me, but remembers an hour too late and then calls them into my pharmacy for me anyways. 7/10

cameron: she's an immunologist. the second i give her my diagnosis, she knows what's going on. she asks me what's worked to control the reactions in the past and gets me exactly that. treats "conservatively" after she ensures i'm not going into active anaphylactic shock (i.e., starts with a slightly smaller dose of steroids instead of hitting me with max dose all at once) and then gives me a second dose when the first one doesn't quite kick it. checks on me every 25 minutes or so and brings me a blanket when she finds me nearly out cold on the bed from the iv benadryl. she squeezes my shoulder when i thank her for it. then she asks if i've ruled out other mast cell diseases and offers me a referral for more testing if i want it. she does take a bit of extra blood to run some diagnostic labwork of her own just in case. finally, she makes sure i'm no longer actively reacting before discharging me, sends me home with a prescription for steroids (and the referral), and tells me to come back right away if the reaction comes back or if a new one starts. 10/10.

foreman: takes longer to get to me than i'd like. when i finally get to talk to him and explain the current problem, my history, and my diagnoses, he raises his eyebrows in surprise and asks "are you sure? i've only seen a single case of [your disorder here] in all the time i've been practicing medicine." I pull the paperwork with my genetic test results out of my bag for proof, and after he sees the confirmation he apologizes and takes me seriously. it takes a few hours before i see him again, but when i do, he discharges me with a prescription for tapering steroids for the next few days without me needing to ask. 6.5/10.

chase: is genuinely shocked by my diagnosis but takes me seriously once i show him the papers. probably ends up giving me a different steroid from what i asked for/what my doctor uses, though, like cuddy did. i see him more than foreman and cuddy, but less than cameron. sends me home with multiple-day-steroids but they're the wrong kind that aren't tapering and that give me more side effects. overall average. 5.5/10. +1 point for comphet if he's got the long hair.

thirteen: as soon as she hears i have chronic genetic conditions & sees my age on the chart, she's all in. she sympathizes and empathizes with me, but won't tell me why. starts with small doses of steroids + benadryl + pepcid and stays in my room with an epipen to monitor me herself. asks if i have an internist managing my case (i do, but lord knows she'd offer to be mine herself if i'd said no, since internal medicine is her specialty) and makes sure i'm getting proper care outside the hospital. when the reaction doesn't stop after the first round of meds, she gives me the second round and then stays and chats with me to distract me from my anxiety. we end up talking about my wife and i (GAY), she listens to me vent about my backstory, and i show her pictures of my cats. she keeps me longer than anyone else would have, save for cameron, out of an abundance of caution, and stays past the end of her shift to do so. when she discharges me, she sends me home with the tapering steroid prescription i need and with her name and work phone number. she'd tell me to call her if i ever needed a second opinion or a new internist to manage my case. 10/10.

kutner: when he hears my diagnosis, his first reaction is "cool." immediately asks me what's worked in the past, gets my preferred meds on board, and then stays for a few minutes to ask me about my medical history because he thinks it's super fascinating. says yes when i ask him if he wants to see a trick after i mention being hypermobile (i stand up from the bed and both my hips crack loudly + at the same time. then i touch both palms flat to the floor with zero struggle), and he only winces a little at my hips cracking. we chat a little while he monitors to make sure i'm not gonna die of anaphylaxis and we end up talking about fun nerdy stuff, like video games. i show him my cat pictures and he shows me cool animal pics he has saved too. mostly turtles, geckos, etc. 7.5/10.

taub: passes my case to kutner before he even sees me. his shift is almost over and he has a date with a hot nurse from gen surg he's not going to miss. 2/10. he gets two points for giving my case to kutner specifically.

[willoryn]

"I have an idea of a scenario where it's the other way around" well you HAVE to tell us now!?

BSBXCNND I GUESS I DO DON'T I

The idea was that you are staying in the hotel proper and at some point you start noticing small things~

For instance, you notice a little peice of your favorite candy gets left on your pillow every night instead of the little mint that housekeeping usually leaves. You remember thanking Niffty at some point, assuming she must have found out or Charlie wanted to give everyone a very personalized experience!

But she insisted that she didn't have anything to do with it. It was a super top secret special instruction by someone in the hotel! But she's not telling who 🎶 You remember how warm your face got when she playfully teased that you have a secret admirer~

You weren't so sure about that. A secret admirer? Here in the hotel? Yeah right.

But as much as you wanted to just write it off as just a random act of kindness from an anonymous resident... it soon becomes very evident that that is not the case.

Next it was the towel animal in the shape of your favorite animal on your bed. Room service would randomly bring you a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates. None of it signed for. No one will tell you who it's from.

This person is a complete mystery to you. And it was driving you crazy. Not that you hated the gifts or anything! You were very flattered actually. You just wanted to know who in all the seven rings of hell it could be?

Then, one night, you return to your room. You were expecting to see the usual: candy, flowers, and towel animal. All waiting for you. At this point, they had become so normalized in your routine that you started to look forward to them... even if you didn't know who they were from. Is felt nice to be thought of so sweetly~

But instead of all the usual gifts... you receive a note on your pillow. It's a white card with a gold border around the edges. It's written in a striking red ink.

It reads:

My dearest one,

I sincerely hope my little gifts have not troubled you. I was nervous about how you'd react at first. I feared you might reject them or they would somehow frighten you... I know how it feels to be a little unsure about the intentions of others. But I promise I don't intend any harm! I would never want to cause you any stress or discomfort. I just simply want to make you smile.

We may have only interacted a handful of times since you arrived at the hotel, but you have quickly started to occupy my thoughts... and I must admit you have become the object of my affection. And I greatly enjoy showing you those affections from a distance. It makes me happy to see that you accept them.

I'm really sorry for admitting this in such a cowardly way. You deserve to be told face to face... but I worry about what would happen if you knew my true identity.

I would really miss you if you left.

Anyway, I've rambled long enough! If you'd like these little gestures to end, I understand. Just fold this note in half and leave it on your nightstand and it will be done.

Yours ♡

Your eyes go over the words again and again in disbelief. Niffty was right all along. You really did have a secret admirer. You almost couldn't believe it. And as frustrating as it was that the letter wasn't signed, you were still more focused on wracking your brain trying to figure out who it could be... "only interacted a handful of times." Who does that narrow it down to!?

This was going to bother you all night. But now you also had a decision to make.

Fold the note and put an end to your secret admirer's little gestures of love... or let them continue?

The choice is yours~