#when i'm sixty-four

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

Additional info:

2. this was published as news on Sparks' website:

3. Alvin and the Chipmunks

4. Everyone has seen it, but anyway. The Russia Today Report video.

6. When I'm Sixty-Four (Bonus videos: you may also enjoy this version performed by Russell and the band Baby Lemonade and this performance of All You Need Is Love where Russell shares the stage with Jarvis Cocker and The Residents, among others.)

[Edit: dangit I forgot an option. Sparks also joined Facebook in 2007.]

[alovelywaytospendanevening]

When I'm Sixty-Four (2004)

When widowed cabbie Ray and retired teacher Jim meet by chance, they discover they long for the same things from life: adventure, challenge and love. Together, Ray and Jim discover that being 64 means a new beginning: it’s time to try the things they never dared in their youth.

[bisexualbaker]

I went back and forth over whether to share this here, and finally I was like, "You know what? Let's end the year with one last shitpost."

Anyway, in Omegaverse, the Beatles song went more like: "Will you still need me, will you still breed me, when I'm sixty-four?"

[ministerforpeas]

When You're 65.

[stories-by-rie]

how to feel excited about my own projects again

[fidjiefidjie]

Bon Matin 💙 💙 💙 💙

The Beatles 🎶 When I'm sixty four

[tavolgisvist]

I’m struck now by the relative sophistication of the songs from this era, perhaps partly because I was reading so much. One influence was the humour of Louis MacNeice’s poem ‘Bagpipe Music’: John MacDonald found a corpse, put it under the sofa, Waited till it came to life and hit it with a poker, Sold its eyes for souvenirs, sold its blood for whisky, Kept its bones for dumb-bells to use when he was fifty. MacNeice is great on the day-to-day. I think he would recognise ‘You can knit a sweater by the fireside / Sunday mornings, go for a ride’. All comfortable things that retired people do.

(Paul McCartney about When I’m Sixty-Four in The Lyrics, 2021)

[the-magicians-ravens]

i can't even pretend to be a beatles (music) hater...their love songs are really somethin' else

[icryyoumercy]

called two different hospitals about a bill that really shouldn't have ended up with me, emailed disability services to ask about the current state of my case, and in the process of sorting out paperwork for taxes also ended up emailing my employer about the level of my retirement fund

many things have been done and i am proud of myself

[harmonicabisexuals]

It's spring so i'm listening to the white album again and every time i do so i get so mad that "long long long" is the closer on disc 2 side 1 instead of "helter skelter" like...they should have been flipped

[northwestofinsanity]

Clinical pathology is love, clinical pathology is life... (the random musing of an elated veterinary student who just hit a very clin-path heavy exam out of the park!)

[shortfictionweeklychallenge]

Searching...

So many prompts to choose from. What can we find in the archive today?

When I'm Sixty-Four: What happens when the infatuation wears off? When the rush of novelty and discovery fades? What do your characters still love about each other? Why do they choose to stay together? It is a choice, after all, and they could decide otherwise. Perhaps they do. That's a story, too. 

[stephnangelo97]

[strayingawayy]

bigger, warmer, yet still stupidly yours...

...the one where jisung's gotten wayyyy bigger, not that you're complaining, of course

{inspired by @hyunebunx wishing me goodnight and hoping i'd dream of jiji and his big arms...yeah...}

han jisung had always been the definition of warmth for you. his head tucked into your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist as he hummed some made-up tune that would, inevitably, become their next big hit...it was warm, it was routine, it was home.

but lately, something was... different. the warmth had somehow increased. you had somehow shrunk in his arms. it was weird. suspicious, even.

so tonight, as jisung effortlessly scooped you up, spun you around twice, thrice, then frice (is that a word? you don't know. you're so in awe of your man) like you weighed nothing, and carried you toward the bed, you knew something was up.

your eyes narrowed. "okay. what is going on?"

jisung blinked at you, all innocent and cute. "uhh, bedtime? you know, when we sleep? and you steal all the blankies?"

but enough was enough. you would put your suspicions to rest today. without a word, you grabbed the hem of his hoodie and yanked it up.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA- BABY! CONTROL YOURSELF, MY LOVE-"

you let out a gasp, pointing dramatically at his now very defined torso and arms. "AHA! EUREKA!"

jisung, ever the confused quokka, tilted his head. "...huh? did i miss something? what's happening? am i being arrested? is it for being too cute? is it for being too in love with you? no wait i'm too young to go to horny jail, i haven't even-", his eyes widen at the last bit before you cut him off.

"THAT'S IT!" you poked at his bicep, watching it bounce back. "YOU'VE GOTTEN BIGGER! NO WONDER YOU’VE BEEN SO EXTRA WARM AND CUDDLY BEAR LATELY!"

jisung blinked down at himself, then back at you. "...oh. ohhhh. yeah, i have been working out a bit?", he says, almost asks, rubbing his nape.

"a bit?! jisung, you look like those ripped teddy bears for cookies you see on the 'net!"

he grinned, flexing dramatically. "do you like it? am i hot? do i look like a man who could lift a car? think marvel will hire me to remake that scene where captain america holds onto the helicopter?"

you rolled your eyes but still definitely felt your heart do a little flip. "you should have told me you were turning into an action figure."

he huffed, flopping onto you so you were squished under all his newfound muscle. "but i wanted to surprise youuuu," he whined, nuzzling into your shoulder, pressing kisses to it before moving to your cheeks. "also, i just wanted to be strong enough to carry you whenever i wanted. not like i couldn't before but gotta keep at it even when i'm sixty four eh?"

your heart burst into little fireworks.

"you absolute idiot," you giggled, running your fingers through his hair, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "you were already strong enough for me, baby."

jisung made a happy little noise before effortlessly rolling over, pulling you on top of him like you were a feather.

"see? now i can do this all the time," he said smugly, holding you against his chest like a personal teddy bear.

you let out a laugh, pressing your forehead to his. "put me down, muscle man."

"no <3"

he plants one kiss on your forehead.

"please?"

"no <3"

another on your cheek.

"jisung-"

"no <3"

a final on your lips to shut you up for good.

and honestly? with his arms around you, warmth seeping into your skin, his giggles mixing with yours, yeah....you weren’t really complaining.

[kkusuka]

how 141 ended up at the pentagon halloween party was unclear but they were there, on a balcony looming over the central courtyard watching you and your friends chat about things that are absolutely classified. but as the night winds down your groups dwindle and somehow soap found himself alone on the balcony as you stare into his soul.

and it's not like he hasn't been watching you all night, in your cute little sixties dress where if he stands at the right corner and you stand far enough away, he can see the curve of your ass and the tiny shorts that look more like panties as the night drags on. and watching you downing four cocktails then immediately shot gunning a beer was impressive and if he had any more time to spare in america he would ask you where you're planning to spend the night. maybe even ask you about your breakfast plans, or any plans at all that he could stick himself into to stay near you. or maybe just stick himself in you at all-

"you do demolitions, right?" your voice breaking him out of his new favorite fantasy was one possibility he thought up, but he was hoping it would be you asking him to pounce on you and not his job but he can work with this, "yeah, i can tell ye anyt'hing you wannae hear, bonnie."

and you just keep looking at him, so he takes it away. he heard you talking with your friends about information handling so he isn't worried about the heaps of classified information he's telling a random federal worker. "- and even ma good pal ghost, the quiet on wit the mask, cannae do it like i can. not tha 'm tryn' to brag, lass, unless yer into tha-"

"you should wear a helmet."

"wha?"

"like one of those green army helmets that cover the top of your head. like just incase you know?" and he's suddenly frozen, his bonnie lass worrying about him? so sweet, he knew that fate would eventually reward him for doing what he does- "i'm sorry this was really weird, just uh- keep going i guess? i'm so sorry. i'll stop bothering you."

he feels frozen watching you get up and head towards the door, assumingly to rejoin your friends to leave. and you almost make it, hand reaching for the handle before he jumps into action. hands grabbing your waist, dragging you back to him, a lot closer than he thought you'd let him be considering how tense you got. but god if he didn't love how your eyes stared up at him and how close your face was to his, just an inch closer and he'd be kissing you.

"nah, not strange at'all lass. helmet it is, and maybe, in case ye ever wannae check in on me, i could get yer phon-" and it would have been such a good moment, one of his best actually, if not for the bloke busting through the door, smiling to greet you, and then puking right at your feet, "ah, fer fucks sake-"

then you're being yanked away from him by two of your friends from before, babbling about how the uber is three minutes away.

"wait!" then you're right in front of him again and there is a pinky in his face and your eyes are back on his, "pinky-promise? for my sake?"

"yeah, pinky-promise fer yer sake, bonnie." and he leaves you with a promise, a kiss to your wrist, and no name to remember him by.

( 'yah lads just donnae get it. no one's ever looked a' me like tha, i'll wear the helmet to hell of they wannae me too'

'tha's great sergeant, now pick up your gun and lets go'

'nah captain 'ts not great, i've got a sweet lass worryn' 'bout me, this is better than great'

'you got a name from 'em soap, or are we gonna have to hear bonnie and lass for the rest of time'

'FUCK' )

and just a few months later, when he wakes up in one of the hospitals near the base with a doctor babbling to him about how the bullet was slowed down by his headgear and that if he had been shot from any closer he wouldn't be here- johnny knows that another visit to the pentagon to see his bonnie lass was in order.

(maybe dinner and a good fucking after- as a thank you, y'know?)

[sanguineterrain]

falling behind | spencer reid

Summary: During a movie night with Spencer, he confesses to you that he feels like he's falling behind, having never kissed anyone. You offer to catch him up.

(based on laufey's falling behind)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!bff!reader 

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings/tags: spencer's first kiss, s1/s2 spencer, best friend reader, kissing, mentions of sex, some angst at the end.

the divider

"I think you need another bookshelf, Doc," you say, narrowly dodging a stack of books that comes up to your hip. 

You’ve let yourself in for your traditional movie night that’s become far and few ever since Spencer started at the FBI. His days off are rare, but they’re always spent with you. You hang your coat and scarf over Spencer’s designated hook for you. Spencer’s putting about in the kitchen, cups clinking.

"I've been trying to find one at a flea market," Spencer says from the kitchen.

"Even though flea markets give you the heebie jeebies?" you call back, flipping through a thick hardcover about ancient Rome. Aaaand that's a naked man. You close the book. Spencer’s the mature one out of the two of you. That’s why he’s got books about Rome and you don’t. 

"I'm not crazy about bringing home furniture that was once in someone else's house, though it’s usually very cheap. Still! They could’ve had termites. And that’s a best-case scenario. You won’t believe what some people have in their houses.”

“Oh, I know. Pet dandruff. Mold spores. Your worst nightmare.”

Spencer appears with two mugs of Ovaltine. He's adorably cozy, cocooned in an oversized Caltech sweatshirt and green slacks with the giant cargo pockets he loves. They're so practical!

“There’s no need for sarcasm,” he says, mouth pursed the way it does when you’re being a smartass.

“There’s always a need,” you say cheerfully. 

He's wearing the Doctor Who socks you got him three years ago for his birthday. They're worn a little thin. You've offered to buy him new ones—Spencer insists these are still good.

“So how’s life in our nation’s capital?” you ask. “Besides all the serial killers.”

"Good. I still haven't gotten used to these D.C. winters but I feel a lot less silly making hot Ovaltine when it's not sixty-five degrees outside," he says, bending to set your mug down.

Instinctively, you pull out two coasters and Spencer puts your mug on one and cradles his own. He sits on the overstuffed couch he took from his mother's house. You'd helped him take it. You’d followed him out here, actually, after his second PhD, and you live just outside of D.C. because you’re not a big-shot FBI profiler. You’d split the cost of the U-Haul from California and stayed with him the first night because Spencer can’t sleep in unfamiliar darkness. 

It had been four years since you’d seen each other. You’d shared a bottle of cheap wine to celebrate his new job at the BAU. Later, Spencer cried over Diana and you held him through it. 

"Turning the heat on might help," you say.

"That's simply a luxury the FBI doesn't pay me for. Anyway, thermostats increase the chances of a fire. Especially if the pipes are old."

"We should ask your friend Penelope to hack a bank so you can buy a mansion," you say.

Spencer shakes his head and brings the mug to his lips. "Please don't give her any ideas. Are we starting the movies?"

"Yes! Home Alone?”

“Don’t we always start with your favorite?” he asks, smiling.

“We do. You indulge me, Spencestar.”

You get up to fiddle with Spencer’s ancient TV and DVD player. It takes a couple of strategic smacks to get it running, but you do and you put the DVD in. It’s a tradition, your holiday movie marathons with Spencer. 

You get up and unfurl the giant fluffy gray blanket that Spencer keeps neatly folded on the sofa. You sit next to him and pull the blanket over the both of you, then take your Ovaltine into your hands. 

“You know, you could always invite your new friends at the FBI for movie nights,” you say. “I’d be okay with that. As long as they understand that I'm your oldest and bestest friend and therefore take precedence.”

"As if I need you telling them embarrassing stories about me,” Spencer says, looking at you flatly. “I know your motivations. It’s bad enough that Derek calls me the baby bird of the bullpen."

“Derek is the one that set you up on a date?” 

“Ugh.” Spencer covers his face. “Please don’t remind me.”

It had only been a month ago, Spencer’s date with the sister of one of Derek’s friends. She’d been nice enough, according to Spencer, but you’d sensed more had happened he didn’t want to dive into. There was likely an underlying judgment that Spencer’s encountered too many times to not be sensitive to. 

But Spencer always got nervous about these things too. He had a habit of psyching himself out. For a long time, the only woman he’d ever had a full conversation with was you. 

The TV screen freezes. You groan and get up, putting your mug down. 

“Try moving the antenna,” he says.

“Yeah. The FBI should give flat-screen TVs for Christmas bonuses.”

You play around with the antennas. When that doesn’t work, you turn off the TV. It’s not an exact science—whether the TV wants to play or not is up to forces out of your control. Spencer thinks you have the magic touch, though. 

“That date was pretty bad, wasn’t it?” you ask, checking the wires behind the TV. You wiggle them around and try plugging and unplugging stuff. 

“No,” Spencer says lightly, in that mild, polite tone that might work on a stranger but hasn’t worked on you since fifth grade.

“Spencer…”

“It wasn’t!” he says. “Honestly, it wasn’t even her, it was… I don’t know. I felt so silly doing it. Like I was a kid trying to do adult things.”

“You are an adult. Is it playing?”

“No. Yeah, I know I am, but I also feel so behind. Like everybody learned stuff I didn’t and now I can’t do a simple thing like go on a date with a woman.”

“You’re not behind—ouch!” The TV shocks you and you snatch your hand back, grimacing.

Spencer stands up. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks. Where was I? Right. You’re not behind, Spence, you’re the smartest person I know. You’re the smartest person most people know.”

It’s quiet for a moment. Then Spencer suddenly appears, kneeling next to you. You grin.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hi. You don’t have to get shocked so we can watch a movie. I can pull it up on my laptop.”

“No, I’m gonna make this work. Here, hold this.”

You hand Spencer a wire. He obediently holds it while you fiddle with the back of the TV.

“She tried to kiss me,” Spencer says quietly. 

You pause and look at him. “Who did?”

“The woman Derek set me up with.”

“Oh.” You put down the wire—you’re starting to get the feeling that this is the kind of conversation that can’t be had while you’re trying to fix a TV. “You didn’t tell me that. Did you?”

“No.” Spencer scowls. “I chickened out. I just… Derek would’ve told me to just kiss her because she was pretty and she wanted me. But I didn’t want to. And that’s so stupid, ‘cause I should’ve, right?”

“Spencer, there’s no rule for when you should and shouldn’t kiss someone as long as both parties want to kiss,” you say.

“Yeah, but I’ve never kissed anybody. I’m twenty-five and I’ve never kissed anyone. How pathetic is that?”

You frown and turn to face Spencer fully. “Hey. C’mon, where’s this coming from? You know I don’t think any less of you for never kissing or dating or any of that stuff. You do it when you wanna. And I’d tell anyone that. I’m not just telling you ‘cause you’re my best friend.”

“I know, but…” Spencer shakes his head and it hurts to see him so defeated. “I told that woman that I hadn’t kissed anyone and that’s why I didn’t kiss her. And the look she gave me was so… I-I’ve gotten that look before, but… and I could just tell she was thinking freak, freak!”

“Spencer,” you say, voice cracked like an egg, and his name is the soft yolk spilling out. “Oh, Spence. You’re not a freak. I told you that when we were fourteen and I still mean it. Nothing is wrong with you for never kissing anyone. And someone who thinks there is isn’t a person you want to be intimate with anyway.”

He sighs. “I just feel like I’m falling behind.”

You press your lips together. Then you make a decision and stand. 

“Come on,” you say, offering your hand.

Spencer takes your hand and lets you pull him up. “Where’re we going?”

“To the couch,” you say, more casual than you feel. 

Spencer follows you to the couch and you sit. You take a deep breath.

“Who would you want to have your first kiss with?” you ask.

He shrugs. “No one comes to mind.”

You bite your lip. “What about me?”

Spencer blinks. “I—what?”

Suddenly, you’re overwhelmed with all of Spencer’s attention on you. It doesn’t normally overwhelm you but considering the circumstances… 

“Well, um. It would be low-pressure, right? I mean, we’ve known each other for so long.”

Spencer licks his lips. You track the movement, then look away, embarrassed.

“I guess so,” he says. “But won’t it be weird? Kissing each other?”

Yeah, probably. “No, I don’t think so. Well, a little, but it’s just so you don’t feel out of sorts when you go on a date. It’s, like, practice.” That last point feels a little weak.

“Practice,” Spencer repeats.

“Yeah.”

It’s still and silent for several painful moments, and that’s when you contemplate bolting and changing your address. But then Spencer speaks.

“Okay,” he says. “If you’re definitely sure about it.”

“I am,” you say. 

He nods. You take that as an invitation to scoot closer so you’re facing each other. Spencer brings one knee up so you can be within kissing distance.

“So, um.” You clear your throat. “So when you kiss someone, it’s important to find a place for your hands. They can be on their face or their waist or arms.”

Spencer nods. “Got it. Like this?”

He puts his hands on your waist. You stutter on your next breath. You hope Spencer doesn’t notice.

Look, you’re not blind, okay? Spencer’s tall and cute and smart and a sweetheart and your roommate in college once commented on how he’s got hands made to finger a woman, which you’ve never been able to forget, much as you’ve tried. 

So yeah. You know your best friend’s good looking. You know he’s a catch. 

Does that mean you can be absolutely emotionless while kissing him? Not so much. 

But you love Spencer. You’d do anything for him. 

“Yeah, good.” You drape your hands loosely around his neck, his curls tickling your fingers. “Okay?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then you make eye contact but not too much. Don’t scare them.”

Spencer smiles with half of his mouth. “Don’t scare them. Noted.”

You roll your eyes. “Smartass. Alright, then you, um…”

“Kiss?” he asks.

You nod. “Y-yeah. Then you lean in and kiss.”

You press your lips to Spencer’s lightly. His mouth is soft but he’s stiff, which means he’s going to kiss stiffly.

“Relax, Spencestar,” you say against his mouth. “‘S okay. Part your lips a little.”

“Like this?” he asks, his mouth losing some tension.

“Exactly. Fit your lips to mine.”

Spencer’s warm, his breath tickling your mouth. Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right up your throat and into Spencer. 

“I read about kissing,” he says. “For research.”

That makes you smile, a short laugh slipping out. You rest your forehead on his mouth by accident. 

“What?” he asks against your skin, smile clear in his voice. The sensation gives you shivers.

“Nothing. You’re sweet, Spence,” you say. 

You lift your head and close your eyes. And then you kiss him. 

Spencer kisses gently, which you never thought about in-depth, but experiencing it now, it makes sense that he does. He’s so gentle in everything else, from the way he opens doors to letting you have the last bite of pasta. Of course Spencer kisses the way he lives in the world: kindly. 

Your hands slip to his jaw to guide him. Your kisses are short first, to warm him up. You feel Spencer’s pulse in his neck under your palm, feel his easy hold on your hips, the way he twists a loose thread on your shirt.

“You can be a little more firm. Move your hands around,” you say, and Spencer nods.

He kisses you with a little more pressure, ever the quick learner. His hands travel up your spine and down, like he’s soothing you. It makes an unexpected sob work up your throat and you quickly swallow it down. 

You thread your hand through his hair, your senses completely surrounded by him. Spencer’s more confident now, pulling you into him slightly, curving your back with his palms. 

And before you do something really stupid, like kiss his neck or tell him you love him, you pull back. Spencer’s eyes fly open when yours do. 

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks.

“No, no. You were good. That was good, Spencer. I just, uh… we’ve been kissing for a while, so I figured…”

“Oh.” His face turns pink. “Right, yeah.”

“Yeah.” You scratch your neck. “But that was good. It just takes practice.”

Spencer nods a lot. “Yes, of course. Like any skill.”

“Exactly.”

You drink your Ovaltine, needing to put your attention on anything but Spencer’s kiss-swollen lips. The Ovaltine is cold. You make a face.

“I’ll reheat it,” Spencer says, practically leaping from the couch. “Be right back.”

“I’ll try to get the movie started,” you say, making a beeline for the TV.

You turn it on, trying to calm your fluttering heart. This time, the movie plays with no issues. Of course when you want it to have issues so you don’t have to be curled up next to Spencer on the couch, it doesn’t. Figures. 

Hesitantly, you return to the couch. Spencer comes out a few minutes later with your reheated mugs. He gives you yours and sits on the far end of the couch.

“Want the blanket?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “I’m okay. I warmed up.”

The movie continues from where it froze. You and Spencer watch that one, then Home Alone 2, then the Muppets Christmas Carol. 

And it’s fine, it’s normal. It’s normal, except you’ve just kissed your best friend. And Spencer doesn’t curl up next to you under the blanket for the rest of the night. You get this sinking feeling, wondering if catching your best friend up comes at a bigger cost than you thought.