#where the hell was this community when I was 16

[flawlessbellamy]

I haven’t logged onto Tumblr for 5 years and now here I am discovering there’s a musical bootleg community who trade each other which I knew nothing about and not one of them has offered me an &juliet bootleg.

[harmoonix]

𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

(astrology observations)

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🖼️: Moon in the 8th house has a lot of deep meanings behind it and the sad part is that sometimes it can cause pain/suffering but it comes with its good things as well if you have your moon at 8° or 20° you can feel the same

🖼️:Water Moon + Fire Sun combo in your chart gives a vibe of both short temper + chill temper, is like a mix between a spicy and sour seasonings

🖼️: Ascendant at 4°, 16° 28° degrees have the cutest face expressions (Cancer Energy), like when they smile or make a specific face

🖼️: Ascendant at 10°, 22° degrees can give you a beautiful looking face and in general your body too, so many people out where look stunning with those degrees on the ascendant

🖼️:Those with Jupiter in the sign of Cancer/4th house can feel the most lucky when they think about their family or creating their own families, it gives them an excitement energy

🖼️: Most people will argue about this but Venus in Scorpio is tricky as hell with the relationships because Venus is in detriment, Scorpio Venus may not know how to act when they're in love or in a relationship

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🖼️: Sagittarius Risings will 100% wanna look for someone who is very communicative with them, and someone who can express their feelings in a relationship (Gemini in the 7th house)

🖼️:Moon in Capricorn/Moon in the 10th house natives can be the ones who have a hard time with telling their true feelings, most of them are close people and don't want to get hurt

🖼️: Lilith asteroid (1181) aspecting Mercury gets excited about hearing other people's voice, like some voice can turn them up just by hearing them

🖼️: Saturn in the 10th house feels like a dad who is constantly watching over you, because Saturn feels at home here is a healthy placements for Saturn and let's say Saturn transforms into a dad figure

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🖼️: Chiron in Aries/ at 1°, 13°, 25° degrees can struggle with their anger issues or having a hard time to calm themselves sometimes having a hard time to focus on themselves too and tends to forget about things that make them happy

🖼️: Taurus in the 4th house/Venus in the 4th house > They don't express their sensuality often but when they do people get stunned by it. Most natives with this energy make people to feel safe and at home/peace

🖼️: Most Taurus Risings i know have such cute voices and I think is because they have Gemini and cancer rulling their 2nd and 3rd houses (The combo of air + water makes this energy). Definitely they got the physical touch love sign with their Scorpio in the 7th house

🖼️: When it comes to the past I think South Node in the 9th/12th and 8th house makes the native to wonder a lot of about it or to have a lot of questions towards their past lives

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🖼️: Natives with 5th house empty usually don't want kids, until there is some love asteroid like, for example i have asteroid Aphrodite (1388) in this house but overall my house is empty (no planets just asteroids) and I don't want or wish kids

🖼️: I think Air Risings and Air Moons are the most social people out there because of their open communicative aura/social skills/ they're pretty ambient in their energy as well and they have a good humour tho

🖼️: Sun in the 1st house natives makes the native to be so determined and focused towards their life, they're so ambitious and powerful and their energy overall is just amazing

🖼️: Neptune aspecting Pluto or Uranus makes the native so spiritual, like is amazing they're getting more wise with their age and more mature

🖼️: Neptune in the 12th house has a surreal needy of getting closer with other people's feelings/like they want to know your soul first and before all

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🖼️: Pisces/Cancer and Virgo placements especially Moon are vey underatted when it comes to being clingy and clinginess, they're so clingy but they don't show it at first

🖼️: Virgo Risings have a very dirty way of talking because of their Scorpio in the 3rd house, they're so so so dirty in talking (when angry they may cuss a lot)

🖼️: Taurus Lilith is so so touchy and needy but they dont usually show it...like they will give you some signs or indications but most of these natives are just hidden sensualists

🖼️: Be careful if you have Lilith in Cancer or Lilith in the 4th house or at Cancer Degrees because you can "absorb" in a way the negative things from your mother, and the meaning of this placement is to NOT be like your mother (you know what I mean like in toxic ways or tendencies)

🖼️: You will never know what is going through the mind of the Uranus in the 1st house, they are thinking at multiple things at once and often can get distracted

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🖼️: Groom asteroid in your 9th house can indicate having a foreign spouse (if you are attracted to men) if you are attracted to women check Briede asteroid

Asteroids Codes: 5129, 19029

🖼️: Groom 5129 in the 12th house can indicate soulmates or twin flames, maybe even a karmic partner, someone's who's very passionate and sensitive

🖼️: Mercury aspecting Neptune or Mars (Or having those planets in the same house) makes the native "sharp mind - sharp tongue", they are extremely intelligent but can also fool people

🖼️: Jupiter aspecting Venus (all aspects) are so beautiful, when Jupiter aspects Venus it expands your beauty/charm/love to everyone and puts you in the spotlight

🖼️: Jupiter aspecting the Ascendant are the most underrated when it comes to beauty in Astrology, Jupiter literally is blessing you when is touching the ascendant

🖼️: Scorpio/Aquarius/Pisces/ Risings are having 2 ruler planets that can influence their lives, check your both ruler planets when you have one of these 3 risings. Look for Mars and Pluto for Scorpio/Look for Jupiter and Neptune with Pisces/Look for Saturn and Uranus with Aquarius 💅🏼

✨ With all the love, bless you all! ✨

✨ From the past, present or future ✨

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[alensko]

Achievement Unlocked: Suppressed Trauma!

[crazyk-imagine]

Hi, I was thinking Jacob Black x Reader. Where Jacob was waiting for Reader to come out of school till he heard commotion in front of the school and saw Reader fighting a bully who is a guy. She has a bruised lip and bleeding nose. Jacob hurriedly pick up Reader and take her to Emily’s so she can chill out and so Emily can patch her up. The pack saw her and they started asking questions till Emily started lecturing her.

Jealousy and Pack Scolding's

Pairing: Jacob Black x Uley!reader

Characters: Jacob Black, Uley!reader, Paul Lahote, Jared Cameron, Embry Call, Leah Clearwater, Seth Clearwater, Quil Ateara V, Brady Fuller, Collin Littlesea

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Paul being an idiot, Sam not liking the imprinting, this was actually kind of cute, I think I made Jake a likable character (for me), Emily is an angel, Sam and Emily are my fav, reader has avoided making eye contact with Jake bc she has a crush, Sam knows whats up, Embry just wants his imprint, Paul is such a big brother here, love writing for the wolfpack, it's so much fun, reader knows about imprints

Word Count: 2,431

A/N: Ask and you shall receive... this was fun and totally not inspired by Jake fics where he's a little jealous shit

I've aged probably everyone sooo, Sam is 26, Emily is 25. Leah is 23. Jared and Paul are 19 (in a nearby community college) and just one semester from graduating. Jake, Reader and Embry are 18. Quil, Seth, Brody are 17. Cam and Seth are 16

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He kicks his bike stand up, so it stays upright while he waits for you to exit the school. He crosses his arms, not wanting anyone to talk to him, hoping he looks “menacing” enough for his classmates to get the hint and steer clear of him.

He knows Quil and Embry made their way back to Emily's since Sam wants them to do their patrol shift as soon as they can once they finished with their last class.

He couldn't complain much considering he was able to go home and change before heading back to pick you up so he could successfully switch shifts with Embry, which annoys him since Sam basically ordered him to pick you up.

He’d be more okay with it if you two were friends- or even talking; he doesn’t know why he was put to the job since you two aren’t close- or at least, compared to Jared and Paul.

Jake did recently find out (after complaining to the guys when their alpha wasn’t around) you’re Sam's niece and Emily has taken a light to you, thinking of you as her own daughter.

And the only reason he thinks that is because of how she treats you; it always reminds him of the way his mom took care of him and his sisters when they were younger.

Don't get him wrong, he has no problem with that or the way she treats you, he's more curious than anything since you haven't been talking to him.

It kind of bugs him that you talk to Paul and Jared more than him and isn't sure why. He gets the two shifted before everyone, but you've started talking to Embry and Quil so why not him too? Hell, you’ve even started making small talk with the newest shifters Brady and Collin.

He thinks this is why Sam sent him here, so he'll stop moping around about you and not just because the pack is tired of hearing how sad he is with you not talking to him.

The chanting, "fight, fight, fight," overtakes his sense in waiting for you and he steps closer.

He stops behind the wall of people, checking on who's fighting, curious as to who's stupid enough to fight on school property.

The fist flies to your face and he starts fighting his way to get past the people blocking him from getting to you.

You spit, not wanting the copper taste to remain in your mouth. You turn your head back to David, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of feeling like he won.

You kick his upper thigh, right above his knee and knock him down before pulling your arm back and drive your fist as hard as you can into his cheek.

He falls and cups his cheek, whining about the pain and the fact that he's bleeding.

"Talk about my family again and you'll be bleeding more."

Jacob finally breaks through the crowd and pushes David's friend away before the guy could grab you. "Back off," he growls.

The friend raises his hands in defense and backs away, noticing how buff he'd gotten and knows better to not fight Jacob.

He turns to you, smelling blood on you and cups your face, searching to find the damage, ignoring your eyes as the blood from your lip drips further down your chin. "Come on."

He puts you on the back of his bike and starts it before kicking the kickstand.

-

You unwrap your arms and get off the bike, trying to put distance between you, Jacob, and your home.

He grabs your wrist, "where do you think you're going?"

"Away."

"Just because you want to hide your face from Emily and Sam, doesn't mean you can run away."

"I can still try." You tug on his arm. "Let me go."

"No, you need to go in there and face them."

You stop fighting and he lets go of you, trusting that you won't leave. "I don't want Sam to be disappointed."

"Did you pick a fight with David on purpose?"

You shake your head, "of course not."

"Then he won't be disappointed... as long as you talk to him."

"Says the guy who fights him every chance he gets."

That earns a chuckle from Jake. "Says the mousy niece."

You scoff, shoving his arm. "Hey, I'm not mousy."

"This is the longest conversation we've ever had."

"That's your fault, you're always mopey."

"I am not."

"Are so."

"Am"- You walk through the door.

Emily's voice interrupts yours and everyone else's conversations. "I'm happy to see the two of you are talking." She smiles with a twinkle shining in her eye that quickly dies as soon as she catches sight of your face.

"Oh my- what the hell happened to you?" She grabs your chin, tilting so she can look at your face. "Who did this?"

Paul tenses, Jared tries to see over her shoulder.

Embry and Quil walk through the back door and glance at one another with concern evident on their faces once they realize what’s happened.

"Don't tell, Sam," you reply, staring into her eyes, practically begging her not to tell him.

"Don't tell me what?"

You grimace and then wince because your adrenaline has worn off and the pain has surfaced. "How much I love you?" You say without turning.

"I don't buy it." He wraps an arm around Emily, pecking her cheek. "Did you cut your finger again?" He asks with the scent of blood wafting through the room.

"Uh-" She catches your eye as she glances down at her hands. "Maybe, I don't know."

You attempt to sneak away while he's distracted and fail.

"Turn around."

You pout, keeping your head low as you turn.

"Lift your head."

"I like staring at my shoes while they're clean."

He grumbles your name under his breath.

You lift your head and sigh. "I may have gotten into an altercation at school."

"What the hell happened?"

"That's what I was asking before you got here?" Emily chimes in. "And I was avoiding it then."

"What did you do?"

You scoff, "I didn't do anything, you dick."

"That is no way to talk to your uncle," she tells you.

You stare at her, "I'm going to give him the same respect he gives me," and turn to him. "Which is none."

You exit the room when you realize none of you are going to be able to have a proper conversation and make your way to your room, slamming the door behind you.

-

"What happened while you were waiting for her?" Sam towers over Jacob, attempting to search through his mind to figure out what could have happened.

"I don't- I don't know. I was waiting and then I heard the other kids chanting, fight and then I saw her get hit and then take down David-"

"Wait- she was fighting David?" Jared chimes in with a smile.

"He deserves it," Paul adds.

"Guys a grade A asshole," Embry says before snacking on a muffin.

"So, this fight was valid?" Sam asks, wanting to understand everything he's learned within the last five minutes.

"No, it wasn't valid because fighting isn't the solution, is it boys?" Emily turns to the boys at the table.

"No," everyone answers.

"Good," she smiles.

"But this hasn't happened before? What's happened? This David- or whoever clearly said something for her to act out."

"He was talking about my family," you tell them, leaning against the wall with your arms crossed.

"That doesn't give you enough reason to fight," she tells you.

"It does when they start making fun of your dead parents and uncle who's running a cult."

They purse their lips.

"How do you feel?"

You shrug, "my fist and face are aching, so I'd say I did something right."

She sighs. "Fighting isn't the answer."

"I know that!"

"Then why did you do it?"

Your emotions cause you to snap. "I was tired of him thinking he could still bully me!"

She takes a few steps closer to you. "This has been going on for a while now. Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want either of you to walk into the principal's office thinking you could stop it when it'd only make things worse," you grumble.

"We could have found another way to stop him from making comments."

"I took care of it the only way I could."

"There's always more than one way-"

"I know," you run your fingers through your hair in a frustrated manner. "I wasn't thinking but he wouldn't shut up. He waited a few months, giving me a grievance period but then he started talking shit again and today he wouldn't leave me alone."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Jared asks.

"Yeah," you scoff, "because I wanted you guys to help when the hothead is one fight away from being expelled. Everyone still thinks those two," you point to Embry and Quil. "Are weird because they suddenly got buff and had a haircut. Don't even mention the fact that Jake along with Brody and Cam are the new talk of the pack."

Sam sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "Just, go clean the blood off as best you can, and Emily will wrap your wounds."

"I already did."

"Then go get the first aid kit and bring it in here."

You walk back into the bathroom throwing everything you’d laid out on the counter back into the bag and aim for the kitchen. "Heal me with your magical powers, Em."

She smiles and wraps an arm around your shoulders as she guides you to the island so she can use the natural light to check over you. "Does this hurt?"

"Not yet."

"Okay, let me know when it-"

You suck in a deep breath through your teeth.

"Hurts. You okay?"

"Peachy, Em."

"I know you had to defend yourself today, but fighting isn't always the answer."

"Yeah, I know," you reply with an attitude.

"I'm just reminding you, so you don't continue hurting yourself. You're not like the others, and I don't like seeing you get hurt."

"Thanks, Emily," you wrap your arms around her and pull her in for a long hug.

She smiles, returning the hug. "Don't go getting into fights again or else I'm going to bubble wrap you."

You chuckle. "As long as you save me from a Sam lecture."

"Deal." She slides the plate with muffins, closer to you. "Eat something first."

The guys shake their heads at your behavior.

"Does this mean I can hang out with you guys?"

"You hang out with us already," Jacob points out.

"Cliff diving." You unwrap your muffin.

"Absolutely not," your uncle tells you.

"Come on."

"No,” Sam shakes his head.

"Guys," you beg, turning around to look at the others.

"We're not getting involved in that," Paul raises his hands, heading towards the couch.

- Extra -

"Wha-"

"I'm with Paul," Embry tells you, pulling Quil with him as they sit beside Jared.

You turn to face your knight in shining armor. “Jake-”

He turns away from the others and glances back at you, the humor falling from his face.

“Oh, shit,” Jared mutters.

“Are you serious?” Embry whines.

You owlishly blink trying to figure out what’s happened when he falls to his knees. You set your muffin down and push yourself off the stool to stand in front of him. You poke his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“It’s you,” he mutters.

You raise your head and face the others with a scared and confused expression. “Guys, what the hell just happened?”

Paul smirks and looks away.

Jared buries his face with a muffin.

Embry and Quil face the tv, not wanting to see how things plays out.

Brady and Collin walk through the door.

“Holy shit,” the former says.

“Congrats, Jake. You finally got your imprint,” the latter adds.

“What?” You spin around to face Emily. “Imprint? That’s what just happened?”

Sam rubs a hand over his face. This was the last thing they needed.

“Did we- did you not know?” Brady asks you.

“Does this look like the face of someone who’s in the know? Does it. Brady?”

Collin pulls his buddy away before you can rip their heads off.

“I think we need to talk,” Sam says, pulling Jacob off the ground. “Outside.”

You three stand on the porch, trying to wrap your heads around the whole situation.

-

“I don’t know what this means,” you tell them.

“This means, no being alone in your room. No sneaking out after curfew. No-”

“Sam, we’re not dating. This doesn’t apply to us.”

“It could,” he says, finally snapping out of his mind.

“What?”

“It- the imprint bond doesn’t happen by accident, it’s the joining of when two soulmates find each other.”

“So, we’re soulmates?”

He nods.

“I thought you were in love with Bella?”

“I was.”

“And now you’re not? You couldn’t have moved on that fast just because of this bond.”

He sighs, “I know this is going to be a lot of work, but I want to get to know you whether we go out or not… even though dating you-”

The clearing of someone’s throat cuts him off.

He sheepishly smiles, rubbing the back of his head. “We’ll talk more later.”

You can’t help but giggle and wince soon after.

He’s kneeling in front of you in seconds, searching for any sign of pain. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. My lip is going to be the kill joy of my existence for a few days but I’m fine.” You place a hand on his shoulder, “thanks for pulling me out of there when you did.”

He shakes his head, “it was nothing.”

“It was more than you know, and I know you were only there because Uncle Sam made you, but I still wanted to thank you.”

He can’t help the wide smile that stretches across his lips. “I’ll always be there for you.”

-

Sam throws you over his shoulder. “Babe, where’s the extra wood I keep for the winter?”

“Back room, why?” She asks, watching as you beat on his back.

“I’m locking some doors.”

“Sam, no!” You screech. “Boys, help me.”

“He’s the alpha, what he says go,” Paul tells you.

“You suck, Lahote.”

“You’re gonna be swallowing, princess.”

Paul has never shifted and ran out of his alpha’s place as quickly as he did today.

The others lose their minds as he runs all around, nearly bumping into the clearwater siblings as they head towards the place.

-

Tag list (if you'd like to be added or removed, don't hesitate to ask)

@kmc1989 @gilbertgirl13

[youneedsomeprompts]

~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about secret dating

requested by: various anons requests: I saw the "Forbidden Love" prompts, mostly about not admitting to themselves / each other, and it really made me yearn for forbidden love prompts where they're together but they have to hide it from everyone else; one sided “keeping a relationship hidden from coworkers”; can you post prompts about two oblivious people who are already dating but the other people don't know they're dating? dialogues or scenarios would do<3 thank you and love your prompt contents!

Feel free to use and reblog!

Part 1: ~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about confessing a forbidden crush Part 2: ~ FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about showing love without confessing

Setting/scenario:

#1 - keeping it secret at first because they didn't think it would turn into something that serious anyway #2 - enjoying the thrill of the secrecy #3 - being unsure whether that nervous feeling in their stomach is coming from their feelings for the other or the fact the relationship has to be kept a secret #4 - it's killing them that they have no one they can share their thoughts about their new relationship with #5 - making up the most random excuses to secretly meet up with the other #6 - screaming internally because they're having a date but they can't talk about it #7 - trying to act casual and unsuspicious in public when they're together but it's so hard #8 - teasing the other because they know how hard it is for them to keep their affection/arousal to themselves #9 - making promises that they don't have to keep it secret for much longer (but is it really realistic?) #10 - developing a method to communicate in code #11 - keeping it secret to protect the other #12 - keeping it secret until better times come #13 - making up for keeping it secret by extremely romantic/spoiling dates when they're alone #14 - wanting to fix everything before making the other their official s/o #15 - finding it the least stressful way to date to just keep it secret #16 - enjoying their little, happy secret because that way, no one can ruin it/take it from them #17 - it's like living in two completely separate worlds because their relationship is something that just exists between the two of them and the time together is always otherworldly #18 - wanting to stay in their happy dream world forever #19 - making plans for the future together, even though they don't know where they will be tomorrow #20 - they're keeping the other's love letters hidden under their pillow even though they know how risky it is

Dialogue:

#21 - "You're the most precious thing to me. So, I have to keep you as safe as possible." #22 - "Ah, I'm glad to have you finally to myself." #23 - "When I'm with you, it's like the earth stood still. I'm never so at peace." #24 - "You know, I really don't want to imagine what would happen if the others knew." #25 - "We have to be more careful. This was really a close call." #26 - "Do you really think it's necessary we keep it secret for much longer?" #27 - "I'm doing this for you. You're much better off when the others don't know." "You always say that. But I'm not sure if I still believe it." #28 - "It's not ideal but hell would break lose if it came out. I'm really glad we have the moments of peace. And intimacy." #29 - "Could you have imagined that we would someday end up like this?" #30 - "You're the best that happened to me. And I can tell no one about it. But I want to shout it from the rooftops." "Oh, you better don't. But you can always whisper it to my ear." #31 - "Isn't it fun to have this secret?" #32 - ^ "That's one way to call it." #33 - "I was really impressed how you handled that earlier. So cool. So smooth. So casual. As if I hadn't just made you whimper and made your eyes roll back minutes prior." #34 - "It's all worth it. I would risk it all again just to be with you." #35 - "Do you really think this is a good idea? They could find us." #36 - "You'll be the death of me." #37 - "To be honest, it's pretty funny to see you acting so unfazed and oblivious when we both know you were still thinking about me being naked." #38 - ^ "I always think about you being naked. It's not as if it's a new challenge to keep a straight face." #39 - "But you do know that I'm doing this all for you, right? Otherwise, I couldn't care less." "But you have to act as if you were in for the thing itself. They cannot connect you to me." #40 - "One day, I will carry you off to a place where it's just us. So, be prepared to be kindly abducted one day, alright?"

[redheadspark]

Hello could i request azriel with prompt #16 please?

A/N- I love this for Azriel! Thanks for requesting this, anon!

Anytime

Summary- Rhysand gives the Shadowsinger some sound advice: to follow his heart

Warnings - Mostly fluff :)

“So, when did your crush on her start, Az?”

Az nearly choked on his whiskey drink, looking over at Rhysand who was perched at his office chair, and his hands were folded in front of him with a smirk on his face as Azriel looked at him in shock.

“W-what do you mean?” He asked, though his old friend and High Lord’s smile went a bit bigger as he gestured to the open door that led out of his office.  A corral of laughter was heard on the other side of the hallway towards Feyre’s private studio as if on cue.  Azriel heard Feyre’s laughter, a lighter tone that was the sound of bells and was infectious in its own right.  But the second one, a hearty laugh that was also light, made Azriel’s heartbeat go a bit faster.  It reminded him of the chimes his mother would hang outside their little cottage when he was wrong, a small chorus of notes that turned into a beautiful melody.  

It belonged to you, and your laugh was one of Azriel’s favorite things. 

“You’re not one to be subtle with your feelings,” Rhysand explained as Azriel placed his now empty glass on the side table, shifting a bit in the chair.  He was never one to be in the limelight or have all the attention on him.  It was why he was the Spymaster, hiding away in the shadows and gathering information.  Azriel was good at it, Hell it was his forte.  He would use it against anyone who was against Night Court, his Truth Teller in hand, and his own sense of intimidation.  But when it came to himself, he would rather spend all day with the new recruits at the Illyrian camp than be questioned about his love life.

He never had one, nor did he think he would have one.

“Talk has gone around here, Az,” Rhysand explained as he eyed his friend, Azriel’s own hazel orbs were watching him in both intrigue and confusion, “Talk of you have been spending plenty of time down at the Community Center to talk to a certain Director.”

“She was asking for some advice when it came to negotiations,” Azirel replied in a shrug, not thinking about it much.  You require some advice, Azriel was willing to talk to you and give you winter in negotiating with clients and future contracts that were willing to add onto the building.  It wasn’t that you were a pushover, but you knew you had to toughen up in that department.  Leave it to the Spymaster to get your spine a bit straighter and your skin thicker.  

Azriel admired that about you, your willingness to grow and change for the better.  

“Apart from that, you two have been spending far more time together outside of work.  Especially out near the community gardens,” Rhsyand went on as Azriel huffed in annoyance.

“She wanted to ask me which vegetables Elaine wanted to use in her family dinner!” Azriel reasoned, but Rhsyand was not batting an eye at that as he spoke once more.

“Lastly, I heard from a certain someone you were thinking of asking her on a date,” 

Now that got Azriel’s attention.  He gave Rhsyand a sharp look, though the High Lord himself was remaining composed at his desk as Azriel flew more exposed than ever before.  He never thought someone else knew about his intentions with you, trying to muster up the confidence and the composure to ask you on a proper date.  Something inside of him always stopped him though, holding him back from taking the risk of asking you.  Perhaps he was afraid that you would say no, that you were the one afraid of him.  Cauldron, he was the one who was afraid of you for the longest time simply because you two are so opposite.  

You were light to his darkness, you were calm to his rage, you were affection to his hesitance.  

“That’s not true, where did you hear that from?” Azriel asked, Rhysand cocking his head at him and almost sensing that he was lying.  Azriel didn’t mean to, but he would rather lie at this point to simply not talk about it anymore.  But Rhysand’s playfulness was slipping away in sincerity, his cocky smile was replaced with a softer one that seem to simply ponder at his brother and close friend.

“Who do you think?” He challenged back at Azriel.  Ariel instantly knew, which made him get up from his chair and rub his face in frustration.  He already knew himself, and the cocky smile that was in his mind was enough for him to find the Illriyian Commander.

“Sone of a bitch,” He huffed, though Rhsyand laughed and got up from his own chair too.

“Cassian is a lot of things, especially that.  But we both knew he means well when it comes to us and how we feel with our heart….and who our hearts belong to,” Rhysand explained calmly as Azriel looked at him with wide eyes.  From what Azriel knew, Cassian told Rhysand to go after Feyre since he saw the connection they both had for one another.  But now Rhysand was claiming that Cassian was seeing the same thing with both yourself and Azriel?

Leave it to the Commander to have a better intuition.

“Azriel, even with our immortal lives, it can still be short at any given moment.  I realized that with Feyre, and all the more when we had Nyx.  You, out of all of us with all you went through, deserve to have a long happy life with someone at your side,” Rhysand explained as he walked around the desk with his hands shoved in his pants pockets, giving Azriel a kind stare.  Azriel did feel it, down to his bones, Rhysand was speaking the truth.  He could hide in the shadows for so long, but deep down he wanted someone at his side.  He saw the love between Rhysand and Feyre, then with Cassian and Nesta, and even with Lucien and Elaine.  He must have thought he wouldn’t have it himself, but the rest of his friends around him knew he did need it.  

“I say you ask her before you talk yourself out of it,” Rhysand said to him with a smirk, though Azriel snorted and rolled his shoulders.  

“Maybe I should, just to shut you and Cassian up,” He replied in a snort, Rhysand chuckling as Azriel gave him a warm smile, “But….thanks, Rhys.”

“Anytime, brother,” Rhysand said happily, clasping his shoulder, “Come on, let’s see what they’re up to and if they’re gossiping about us.  If there’s one thing you’re going to need to get used to, is your better half gossiping with the other ladies,”

Azriel had to laugh as Rhysand led the both of them over in the direction where you and Feyre were.  Azriel did take his advice, and he was thankful he did in the end.  One date led to you two becoming mates and getting married a year later at the River House.

The End

January Prompt Session

[cursedartistnelari]

DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE???  IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

 The best 120 minutes of my life were there

 I know I haven't posted anything in a while, but the university has seriously been ruining me.  To be honest, I still haven't been able to make much progress on the next chapter, but as a reward, I decided to give you the context of my story.  So today I come to explain what the hell is going on here :)))

(without spoilers)

 The drawings are not in order. I actually didn't finish all the pictures but suck it. Take it or leave it.

Enjoy

------

It's been a while since the end of the second season, they're all a year older, and apparently blue is the leader now. Does everyone like the idea? Nop

The boys managed to save the world after the almost destruction of everything at the hands of the Shedder, but not without leaving consequences. Strange cracks have recently been reported in the hidden city and New York. These cracks usually appear in random places, have magical properties, their exponential growth periodically, and are characterized by being accompanied by earthquakes wreaking havoc on both worlds. If they do not stop them soon the reality of both civilizations could be harmed. However, no one knows precisely the cause of these, their nature, or their true power... except for Draxum(? He has seen that kind of brilliance before, in his years as a warrior, yokai alchemist, and hater of humans. 

As a last resort to save the world, he decides to look for someone who he hurt terribly in the past, Usagi.

Usagi is a 16 year old boy, he was born and raised on the outskirts of the hidden city in a very gated traditional community. Where what is professed is the importance of teaching and preserving the traditions of the first yokais who came from Japan to New York settling in the hidden city to build a new life there. Some time ago, his clan was the only one that had New York, they supported each other. They had a great sense of community and union thanks to the great chief who was blessed with the power of the gods to bring harmony and order.

However, with the passage of time and modernization of human society, several members were moving away from it opting for other forms and lifestyles. This greatly displeased the sages and elders within society, causing new severe rules against anything related to change. Thereby creating a smaller, closed, and remote community until total isolation. 

Usagi was born into a society almost forgotten and close to change, he as the only son of the boss, had to learn everything necessary to one day succeed his father and continue with the tradition, he is aware of this. He knows the importance of this. He loves his father and loves his people. 

But is it really what usagi wants? What if it wasn't? 

Sadly before he could know the answer to that question, misfortune knocked on his door.

"Being different takes you bad places son"

It is one of the words he remembers most from his father as he waits his turn in the cell to get in the ring and fight for his life followed by Draxum's face, he cannot forget it, nor does he want to. Yes, there was a time when he believed he would be the chief. He really thought that some days he would make a change. He thought that he had friends. Did he was someone? Did he ever have a life?

Now he only fights to survive one more day... until some turtle boys appeared to look for him.

Things have not been easy for mad dogs, since the change of leadership from Leo to Rapha, the missions have become more complicated not to mention that his success rate in these has been declining thanks to Leo always ending up acting on his own more than in a team causing arguments between him and Rapha, followed by his two other brothers trying to calm them down.

Raphael is the older brother of the boys, he has been the natural leader of his brothers for years, and despite that, the truth is he has no problem with leaving the leadership to Leo. That is, at first the whole thing brought him a lot of mixed feelings. Was there anything wrong with him? If he was no longer the leader of the mad dogs, what is his role in the team?  It was all very confusing, but if Dad thinks it's the right decision to make Leo the leader, that's fine, he wants to support him and teach him everything he knows. But sometimes it's so complicated and frustrating to make Leo understand that every decision that he makes has consequences.  The most recent thing they must solve now are those rare and complicated cracks. Honestly, they have Rapha very worried and if Leo does not take it seriously, he does not know what else he can do.

Mikey was always the youngest in the family, he was always loved and protected by his older brothers since dad was not always available for them due to personal problems related to PTSD.  Therefore it is normal that he has never liked the conflicts between his brothers and since the change of roles, these have become more frequent.  He genuinely wants to help everyone, he is no longer a child who must be overprotected by others, sometimes he can also do the same for his siblings, listen to his problems, propose solutions, and talk.

Things like that. 

It's just frustrating that they always underestimate his abilities and treat him like a baby by hiding things that they think he can't handle.  Since the magical cracks appeared Mikey has the feeling that this could be his chance to show his brothers that he can help them too, he is the most magical of the family he just needs a chance. 

Donnie has never been the best when it comes to feelings or change. There are many things that have changed since the battle with the shedder, starting with Leo who is now apparently the leader.  Honestly, he is not very sure about this new change in the team, I mean he loves his brother and he must admit that he has some leadership qualities, but Raphael has always been in charge of leading them, it is a big change that he is terrified that It's going to go wrong and to be fair over the last few weeks Leo hasn't helped him change his mind.  Recently cracks started appearing everywhere and maybe his brothers don't understand but if they don't work as a team this could go very wrong, not being good at this feeling thing, he doesn't know how to tell others his worries about the cracks. 

Draxum insists that he knows someone. Yeah, of course. Let's trust him.

 Leonardo, to be fair with him…

He never wanted to be the leader, "the face man" was a much more comfortable title for him.  Honestly, what was dad thinking about that decision?  Everyone knew that he didn't have the ability to be the leader, you don't have to be very smart to realize that he's not the one for the job.  Being the leader of the mad dogs comes with so much responsibility and pressure, you only have to look at Rapha's forehead to know what he meant.  Not to mention that everyone is against his way of doing things, he doesn't want to be the leader, but when he tries, nobody listens to him! He gets results, right?  What is the problem, then??  Maybe he doesn't take it too seriously, but he just doesn't want to do this.  Must be a bad dad joke and by this point, it's not funny anymore. 

The cracks appeared recently and Draxum says that he knows someone who might have an answer for her, he honestly just wants to accomplish this one more mission to prove her point, until a cute boy shows up.

------

 I thought about this comic as a way in which I would like to develop different aspects such as trauma, sexuality, their relationships with each other, and insecurities of the characters within the TMNT universe, etc.  Since I didn't want this to get stuck on just in one ship.  This led me to make the comic longer than I originally intended... and I mean A LOT longer.

For example, the typical rivalry between Leonardo and Raphael, but taken in a different way where Rapha tried to be like a mentor/guide for Leo developing their friendship (just like in the movie)

Donnie's problems over the idea that Draxum is now one of the good guys and he honestly doesn't believe him and doubts that someone like him can change so quickly.

 Show a nice relationship between Mikey and Leo, where Angelo acts as a support for his brother and Leo is really willing to listen to Mikey's concerns.

 I had planned that after Leo, Donnie would be the one who gets along best with Usagi although no one knows why, maybe it's because they are both quite quiet.  At some point, Usagi turns to Don to tell him about his confused feelings for Leo, but Donnie would not be of much help in this regard because I was thinking of doing him aro/ace hahaha therefore he does not understand 100% what is happening to these two but he is sure They like each other and it's annoying to hear them both being so dramatic.

Another relationship I wanted to show would be Rapha's with Cass.  In other adaptations, we saw that they have been very close and I wanted them to get along in some way in my AU.  For example that Rapha and Cass started talking to each other since he helped her with anger management issues and getting over her past as part of the Foot Clan.

 Leosagi wouldn't be the only ship in the AU either.  I love Cass x April and I imagine them in a dynamic of enemies to lovers, for me they are girlfriends and I don't care what the rest say they love each other.  Since they helped each other grow up, Splinter was the first to notice that they both have a lot in common even if they don't notice it.

Venus de milloooo, she will definitely have an antagonist role~ a turtle that splinter forgot to take and after surviving on her own in the streets of the hidden city. She ended up in the hands of big mama, being one of her champions in the battle of the nexus, earning her trust, leveling up and working for her as her right hand.

 Finally, I think about including other characters for which I already have designs and others I don't see idk I want to pamper myself.  Everything is possible.

Comic part 1

note 1: to be honest I doubt very much that I will draw the complete story that I develop for this Au, due to lack of time and nobody is paying me asdhadkjk at most a couple of vignettes of my favorite parts, explain the context, fanarts, and designs. But nothing more, I would let the fandom do what they want with this idea, just write leosagi fanfics please, I emotionally depend on that.

note2: I really want to thank @herm_izz and @nanakase_01 for helping me with the art and the script. THEY ARE SO AMAZING JUST GO AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER

note3: I know my English sucks I'm doing my best :')

[kujakumai]

would you like to elaborate on the "catastrophic mommy issues"? I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on that lol

Thief King is a child raised by a mass of vengeful tortured souls in the ruined basement where they all died, all of whom are in effect a stand-in for family/community/parents. They are all TKB has left, and they are highly protective of him; they seem not entirely within their right minds, not capable of competent childcare, and they give him explicit instructions on how to destroy and take over the world, which he follows enthusiastically.

I think about this a lot, like a lot a lot, and while we don't see much I think its gotta be a very tangled dynamic. When writing him I tend to use "mom issues" or general references to his mom as an emotional stand in because I think she's probably the most likely person he'd remember clearly when he needs a real face, but that's not necessary. All of Kul Elna is Mom for these purposes.

There is a lot going on here, for example:

>Kul Elna does not seem to leave the temple unless accompanied, or at very least they prefer to stay there. This means TKB probably spent a significant portion of his childhood in the same ruins and possibly the same room where he watched everyone die. Cool! Great!

>Kul Elna appears to be only partially corporeal, limited in their ability to do much besides menace, and TKB says they are "in hell" (unclear what that means). I do not think they are up to the daily tasks of feeding, bathing, or taking care of a small child. I think he probably grew up as an urchin mainly in squalor.

The closest real-life analogue to this is, probably, simply a child in the care of someone who is ill or disabled such that they cannot effectively take care of even themselves without support; so you have a situation where no one has done anything wrong, and this family loves each other very much, and the only real culprit is the society that failed them. But you're still going to end up with a kid who is not getting their needs met, is in a situation that is often stressful and sometimes scary, and that will lead to a rapid Adultification where the kid takes on the role of steward without ever having a proper childhood.

>The Zork-raising instructions were given to TKB by Kul Elna. He tells us this. I am less concerned by Kul Elna's obviously Zork-influenced plan to destroy everything than I am its effect on a 16 year old boy who loves them very much because they're all he has left in the entire world. When did they bring this up? Is it recent? Has it been an ongoing plan for years--has TKB effectively been raised on the idea that he is to be Egypt's own destined apocalypse maiden? How fucked up would that be?

Fandom is hesitant, I think, to ascribe anything malicious to Kul Elna or suggest that their relationship with TKB is sinister--which, for the record, I don't think it is, I think this fucked-up little family has nothing but love for this kid in the depths of whatever humanity they have left--because Kul Elna gets such an unjust treatment in canon it makes us incandescent. Yet the same would apply to TKB--if they want the world in ruins and him at the top, how could he even think anything different? After everything the pharaoh did to them, and to you, of the life they deprived you of? Impossible to suggest something different. You can't tell him they're wrong. What's that old softer world bit; I am a pacifist, and I will be a pacifist until I die, or someone threatens my mother.

>TKB does not need survivors guilt to be an unfailingly loyal Mama's Boy to his ghost family (Ghost's Boy?) but he's got to have it. A simultaneous immense guilt for getting out when no one else did; the immense loss of being left behind, like they all went to become this without him; the weight of being the only one left, the only one who can take revenge not only for you but for them, and if you fail then no one will remember any of their names, or yours. One chance. Avenge them or die a nobody. Don't fuck this up. It's your responsibility, like it or not, because no one else can help, and no one else can help because of what your enemies did to them, which is why you need to do it. It's almost self-justifying.

If you want me to editorialize, I don't think he actually cares much about ruling the world, nor does that goal make sense. I think in the back of his little brain he thinks that if he wins he finally gets to join them somehow.

tldr; I think TKB's relationship with whatever the hell Kul Elna has going on is way, way more complicated and nuanced than even he is consciously aware of and you can love someone very much and still fuck them up immensely (arguably a major them of ygo itself). TKB's has such catastrophic mommy issues he literally tries to end the world. We are talking literal apocalyptic mom issues. Cataclysmic.

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 16

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: Hope you guys are excited, we are about to start diving into Ophelia's signet! Let me know your thoughts on what you think it could be!

The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

As I dismount Mealladh after finishing flight training for the day, I hear Tairn growl. So loud to ground shakes slightly. I look up to see his eyes trained on someone. Dain. And he looks angry, more so than usual. Tairn clearly does not like the sight of him as he bares his teeth at him, saliva pooling on the ground beneath him.

Remind me to never annoy you. I say to Mealladh through the bond.

She chuckles. I will never get that angry at you unless you do something stupid. Which I highly doubt.

My bond with Mealladh was getting strong quickly. We could easily communicate with each other, shield each other out with ease. Even without having taken a single Signet Training class. So far the only one in our squad to show a signet had been Sawyer. He could control metal. Nearly took his opponents arm off in challenges when it manifested. Ridoc had told us the story over one of our meals. He thought it was the coolest thing he had ever seen. When would I get my signet? What would it be? They always said the signet represented the rider. Something about their personality or something to aid them. Something they needed. Every time I had tried to think about what it could be I came up short.

Rhiannon appears next to me as Dain slowly approaches Violet. “What do you think that’s about?”

I shake my head. “No idea. But Dain looks angry and Tairn does not look pleased about it.”

”No he does not.” We both laugh.

As it was our last class of the day we were waiting for Violet. All of us usually headed back to the dorms together before . As Tairn takes off Violet looks over to us and motions for us to leave. She had obviously agreed to talk to Dain.

”Have they talked since threshing?” I ask Rhiannon as we start to walk back down to the Quadrant, Ridoc and Sawyer not far ahead.

She shakes her head. “Don’t think so. She hasn’t mentioned if he has. And she would have.”

I nod. “That could be an interesting conversation they’re about to have then.”

”I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that one.” She adds with a smirk.

”Definitely. He says one wrong thing and she’s gonna rip into him.”

As if on queue I hear loud voices behind me. I turn my head to see they’ve barely made it a few steps and she is already angry at him. Poor boy. But he did this to himself. He’d been trying to baby her, send her to the scribes where he thought she belonged. But Violet had been thriving here despite her the limitations of her body. Hell she had bonded the strongest dragon in the Quadrant. Hell she had gotten two dragons. Something no one had ever seen before. And yet he still saw her as this poor frail girl that needed protection. I was thankful Garrick and Xaden had pretty much looked past that with me. I had made sure to prove I was not the girl they left behind in Aretia. I had grown, I had changed. I had adapted to survive. Not that I had much choice. Though I probably could have refused and ended up dead or locked in a cell. I chose the option that kept me alive. The option that got me back to my family, and as close to home that I could get.

The afternoon sun blinds me for a moment as we walk into the courtyard, busy with other riders now that classes are out for the day. I feel that familiar feeling and look over to see Xaden and Garrick leaning against the Academic Building, as if watching over their domain. Their eyes immediately meet mine.

”So what’s going on with you and Tavis?” Asks Ridoc as we stop just inside the courtyard, waiting for Violet to catch up. “Made it official yet now you’ve done the deed.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

Rhiannon groans and rolls her eyes at him. “Really? You still call sex the deed? How old are you again?”

”Hey I was just trying to be more subtle about it in case anyone was listening.” He defends with his hands raised.

”Then don’t ask in a courtyard filled with almost the entire quadrant?” I bite back a laugh at her sassy remark.

”It’s fine Rhi. But if you must know, not yet.” I tell him bluntly.

”Was-”

”And I am not telling you details.” I say as I cut him off causing Sawyer and Rhiannon to laugh at his annoyed face.

Violet storms into the courtyard, clearly not pleased after her conversation with Dain. I laugh as she looks over at Xaden and gives him the middle finger as he arches an eyebrow at her. He can probably sense her mood through the bond. His gaze flickers to Dain who walks through the archway looking sorry for himself.

”Everything all right?” Rhiannon asks as she walks up to us.

”Dain is an ass -”

”MAKE IT STOP!” Someone screams as they run down the steps at an alarming speed, holding his head between his hands as if he was in pain. Not if. He was in pain.

I don’t know his name, but I know he’s one of the first years in third wing. He sits near us in battle brief.

“For gods, sake, make it stop!” He screams again, stumbling into the courtyard.

Every rider is on alert. Hands hovering over weapons ready to attack. Mine move to the daggers on my thighs. Next to Violet I see Xaden and Garrick move forward in a defensive stance, ready to jump in at a moments notice. The riders slowly creep forward, a circle forming around him. He was manifesting his signet. And something in my gut told me it wasn’t good.

”Jeremiah!” A cadet shouts as they rush forward.

”You!” He yells as he spins towards a third year, pointing his finger at him. “You think I’ve lost it!” The way his eyes flare and the tilt of his head, I don’t blame the third year. All of us are thinking it. “How does he know? He shouldn’t know!”

That’s when it clicks. He’s inntinnsic. The one signet that means instant death. All of our thoughts are open to him. And the thought makes my blood turn cold.

”And you!” He spins around, this time to a second year. “What the hell is wrong with him? Why is he screaming?”

He spins towards Dain. “Is Violet going to hate me forever? Why can’t she see that I just want to keep her alive? How is he…? He’s reading my thoughts!”

I have to give Jeremiah some credit. He mimicked Dain’s tone almost perfectly. I look over at Violet to see she looks just as terrified as the rest of us. Xaden and Garrick step forward, shoving Ridoc aside as they move up next to Violet and I who were at the front of our group. Everyone grasps their weapons as Jeremiah unsheathes his shortsword.

”Make it stop! Can’t any of you see? The thoughts won’t stop!” He’s panicking.

”Xaden. You need to do something.” I say sternly, dagger now gripped in my right hand.

He nods before turning to Violet. “Start mentally reciting whatever bookish shit you’ve learned.”

She looks at him confused.

He looks at both of us. “If you value your secrets, clear your thoughts. Now.”

Shit. I quickly slam up my shield as hard as I can. Try to recite what ever useless information I can as well.

”And you!” My heart drops as his eyes lock onto Garrick. “Damn it all to hell. He’ll know about Are-” He barely gets his sentence out before Xaden’s shadows wrap around his mouth, silencing him.

All I can do is stare at Jeremiah. To anyone else Are could have been anything. Could have been any word. But with Xaden’s reaction, I know its not nothing. Something in my heart knows what he was about to say. He was about to say Aretia. My home. Our home. That was destroyed years ago. But why would Garrick have been thinking about it.

Something tugs in my mind. And it isn’t Mealladh. It’s as if something else is there. I focus how Melgren had taught me. I’m in the courtyard back in Aretia. My home. To my left is the throne room door, where I can see Mealladh’s red and white presence glowing around the door I’ve shut off. But at the end of the courtyard is something else. Another presence wrapped in… black shadows? Just like Jeremiah was now. Something in me is calling to pull at it, investigate. I feel my left hand twitch as if wanting to tug on it. I’m so focused on it I don’t even see the professor rush towards Jeremiah. My left hand flexes as my mind tugs on the presence in my courtyard in my head. But as I do so the professor grips his head and a crack echoes off the walls. But I hear it louder in my head as the presence disappears as well as the shadows. Everyone’s so focused on the professor and Jeremiah to notice my recoil. Everyone except for two. As I snap out of it I look over to see Xaden and Garrick staring at me wide eyed. Their eyes darting between me and the floor. Underneath my foot is a deep but short crack. One that was definitely not there before. I can tell from the slight scorch mark and power radiating from it. They go to start towards me but I push through the crowd and use my size to get away before they can get to me. Yet again I am running away as Garrick calls my name from behind me. Part 17 Tag List: @riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99 @xceafh @leptitlu @came-to-laugh-but-cried @onthewaytotimbuktu @daardyrnitta

[sharksupermacy]

k.

k. - jihyo x trainee! reader

synopsis: you and jihyo were dating but now you aren't, what happened?

genre: fluff, angsty?, not exactly a defined relationship, no communication, hand holding (the scariest thing of all), broken promises 1.1k words pt2. pt3.

she was 16 and so were you. both attending the same high school oddly enough while being a trainee for jyp. maybe it was nice to have a friend just as involved as you were with hers. you at least seemed to think so during the time.

both of you leaning on each other especially during the hard exam time, or when examination was coming near. your friendship was almost amicable to the point of jeongyeon and nayeon always holding each other, knowing each other to the point of being able to guess how the other felt without a single word, and being sappy as hell when it came to it. but in strong contrast of pair before you both were dating.

of course the company didn't know. you were both girls, trainees, and almost set to debut in a new group with nayeon, jeongyeon, and sana. that was all until it wasn't. the new group was cancelled. you and jihyo drifted apart slowly not seeing each other in school, practice schedule never aligning with each other, and her not responding when you reached out.

maybe you should have seen the signs of a huge heart break that was going to be handed to you by her. but being the slight optimist towards yours and hers relationship you thought this was just a rough patch that could have been smoothed over.

you can fondly remember back on the 2 year relationship where you and jihyo went out of the entertainment just to head to a park with ice cream from a convenience store to just talk to each other. both parties holding each other hands and making embarrassing flirty remarks to the other.

but at last you had jihyo had been found out and ratted out to the company. the trainee who told on both of you was kicked out of the entertainment of course but you and jihyo was still called into jyp office. he looked between the both of you and visibly you could see his forehead wrinkle before he started rubbing it before saying, "ah... you guys aren't going to make this easy on me. you and jihyo exchange looks of confusion as you had not even talked to eachother in the past 2 weeks. jyp gave you to the ultimate decision either breaking up and never see eachother again, or quit the company. it wasn't helping that 2 of his best trainees were put in this position jihyo being one talented vocalist meanwhile you on the other hand was an amazing dancer and producer.

jihyo made her decision right then and there without your knowledge or consultation, "we will break up pd-nim." you looked at her as she had a look of earnesty towards jyp.

"well if that is what you so choose, both of you from now on are banned from seeing each other. we will keep this secret between us 3. i hope you two can keep your promises to me, lets never talk about this again," jyp states as he gathers a file walking out of his office with jihyo following him 30 seconds after.

you were left in the office for a good minute trying to process what had just happened in brief 5 minutes. tears slowly dropped to your palms as you were trying to calm down. you walked out of that office 2 minutes later trying to look the most calm expression you could muster walking out of the jyp building to the trainee dorm.

it was only there at the dorm you were able to process and breakdown whatever was built up in that 20 minute walk. you were lucky that none of your roommates were in the dorm yet as it would have been slightly awkward to explain to one of jihyo friend what just happened. you gathered yourself in an 2 hours and headed off to bed at 5pm just as your roommates were back. all of notice that you were sleeping shrugging it off as some type of cold you may have caught.

a cycle of just sleeping, training, school came forth to light. you were of course still eating but you never seem present during anything for the past 9 months. it came over you that should get over your ex in the best way possible so you threw yourself into the studio and made an entire 2 albums worth of songs about her. by the time you were done with the albums that you had put together a total of 2 years have gone by after the break up day.

you took a breath of fresh air outside your dorm and started you 20 minute walk to jyp company building. by this time jihyo had debut of course you went you had to see your favorite girl debut and leaving her flowers back stage with a small pink card stating how proud you were the girl had come.

now it was your turn to part ways with the company that you had used to love and return back to a normal of life with university and such. you knocked on jyp office and when hearing a little come in stepped in jyp office a little bit different than it was 2 years ago. jyp still buried his head into his paperwork and he looked up at you puzzled why you were in his office. "yes?" he said.

"hi, pd-nim i would like to quit being a trainee," you said bluntly while to smiling in his direction.

"may i ask why? you were one of best trainees this entertainment has ever seen," jyp looked up at you from his paperwork with concern.

"i just figured i'm just not cut out for the idol life. i just want to live a normal life, you know go to university and have a nice job," you kept picking at your hand a bit a nervous tick you had developed in the past year.

jyp looks at you with slight disappointment in his eyes, he says a little dishearten, "fine, but will you consider taking up a job here maybe as a choreographer or maybe even a exclusive producer?"

"thanks for the offer pd-nim but i will think about it," you said as you turn and head for the door. slowly heading back down stairs turning the corners to the locker as you empty yours for the last time. you peer over a bit around the corner seeing jihyo sipping a juice talking to her fellow members laughing a bit. you smiled a bit at the sight and returned back to your packing. it was july 18th 2016 when you had left.

a/n: YOOO KILLING ME GOOD IS GOOD- STREAM IT (i mean this as a threat) also this got way to long. so i broke it up to made it easier to read. jeez didn't actually think i would surpass 1k words

[heartbeat-eras]

~Intro Post ~

Hi everyone!

Long time cardiophile in the community but just discovering tumblr for the first time.  Please bear with me while I work this out 😅

About me:

My first memory was me, maybe 3 years old, with my head on my Mums chest asking her what that was. Ever since then it’s always been a thing I’ve been fascinated in. 

My cardio-interest can be many things and have evolved over the years. I have the curiosity about what certain things make it do. How it reacts to exercise or caffeine or nicotine or standing different ways. How holding your breath makes it skip and slow down. I love seeing the reactions to different things. This was the era I started in. 

Then there is the emotional side. The heart can’t lie. If you had a stethoscope on my chest right now, while these words could be trying to portray confidence - you you hear her thrashing in my chest with nervousness / excitement. (Talking about hearts, even anon, gives me anxiety). It’s one of those things that in my real life I would love to be more open about but the level of trust to do that is something that needs to be earned. 

And the dark / …. Adult side… if you asked me years ago I would have said hell no. It depends on the day, month, mood, etc. I’m more open to it these days. Electro, breath play and cpr is what I would lean into, but I’m either in the mood or definitely not. There’s no in between. 

RP / Messages - I’ve never RP before. Maybe I want to try? I’m not sure. I need to be comfortable to talk about hearts so it would have to be a slow intro into it. I also never know how to answer a blind message saying “how’s your heart?”  It kinda feels intrusive and personal so unless it’s a comment about a post PLEASE just start how you would any message to any friend 😊

About my heart

My heart wasn’t all the exciting. Sleeping she gets into the high 40s - low 50’s. Just sitting around working she’s chill around 68. It’s the exercise that gets her. I’ve been a smoker for about 16 years (the last 3 of those vaping instead). When I exercise she shoots up and stays in the 170-188 range on a run. Her recovery is ok considering nic. Slows down initially pretty quickly but says just about 100 for a while. She doesn’t throw many skips and I can induce a couple from a breath hold / push but usually will just beat really slowly after that. 

… well all that was until 6 month ago. Yo girl was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and started on stimulants. Now she feels completely different. I needed to go through the full heart check prior to this, I wanted so bad to see the ECG and see her beating but I was mentally not in a good place and didn’t get to. 

They say that Dexadrine is meant to only increase your resting by 5-7 beats. I would end up sitting at my desk and her beating away happily in the 90s. I haven’t exercised yet but when they wear off at night I can definitely feel her pounding a bit harder and faster than she used to. I’ve now noticed late at night she will occasionally get skippy and throw 5 or 6 beats in a row. But only occasionally and then goes back the normal pounding rhythm. 

Last night I wore my chest strap to bed to see how she was behaving. When she would usually be around 50, last night she didn’t get lower than 65. Today I decided to test her and record her without getting up and taking my meds. A true resting test. She was steady around 68 for 45 mins. Then she increased to about 72 as they kicked in. So maybe they weren’t lying. Maybe just being up is enough to jack her up into the 90s 🤔 she is pounding really forcefully though. I think I’m going to continue monitoring and see if this the norm. 

Anyway, you’ve made it this far you probably deserve some of her sounds. After she didn’t take off into the 90s like I thought she would I decided it was time to have my morning nicotine. This is where the changes took place. A short sound for you to hear hear speeding up. This is before I’ve stood up still. 

What do you hear? How fast is she beating? What do you think she’s feeling? 

Soon I’ll try some exercise and we will see how that goes. 😅

[destinysbounty]

Not sure if this counts, but how do you explain the ninjas ages? How are they teachers but also like 16? I always love hearing people's thoughts on this

For a while now I've been entertaining a headcanon that I think would perfectly explain this in a way that makes sense. Note that this is just a circumstantial theory with no explicit basis in canon, so feel free to take it or leave it as you see fit.

Okay, so. To understand the teacher situation (as well as my theories for why Ninjago's education system is fucked to hell and back), we first have to talk about the Serpentine War for a sec. Bare with me, I promise this will make sense.

This seems like a no-brainer, but a war requires people to actually, yknow, fight in it. Which means large demographics of people have to leave their homes, families, jobs, and communities. Naturally, this forces the ones they've left behind to compensate for the economic deficit caused by their absence. Anyone familiar with American history could tell you that this happened to the US during WWII - as swathes of men shipped off overseas to fight in the war, women back home had to take charge of the economy and participate more actively in the workforce.

I think it goes without saying that this kind of situation probably happened to Ninjago during the Serpentine War. But the thing is, we know women fought in the war stood at the front lines alongside the men - we've seen them. So if that's the case, then who stepped up to help run the economy while Mommy and Daddy were away?

I think you can guess where I'm going with this.

That's right. With so many people leaving to fight in the War (and also dying from Serpentine raids), I don't think it's unreasonable to conclude that some subset of kids and teens had to step up to the plate and take up some of the vacancies their parents had left behind. Obviously I'm not saying all the adults were gone, but it was enough to warrant kids entering the workforce prematurely.

And of course, if kids are getting jobs at younger ages, then I think it's valid to extrapolate that to teacher positions as well.

As you can imagine, this shift created a few new social precedents: 1) expectations for kids, especially teens, to get jobs and become mature at younger ages was normalized; and 2) requirements for certain careers, including education, became much more lenient.

This labor expectation imposed on older kids and teens would actually explain a lot more than just the s3 teacher situation, when you think about it.

Not only are unqualified teens allowed to become teachers, but also undead skeleton warriors from the Underworld (see s1ep4). I'm sorry, but you can't convince me that Kruncha and Nuckal are licensed educators.

The existence of Darkley's, and how it was able to exist for so long without any kind of administrative intervention. The education system is in shambles, and it's because Ninjago's infrastructure never fully recovered from the Serpentine War.

Disparities and gaps in people's historical/world knowledge. No one knows shit about anything. Because again, the education system in in shambles. (If you doubt the validity of this point, let me just remind you I'm from the US. I once met a college student who didn't know what 'north' was.)

The existence of the Paper Boys - how they can devote what seem to be entire workdays to an extremely dangerous job, with minimal adult oversight (if any).

The entirety of Ninjago society seems totally chill with the fact that their saviors are a bunch of kids. To them this isn't cause for concern or even distrust in the ninjas' capability, it's just the norm!

In s15, Lloyd was able to get a job, presumably without a high school diploma or GED of some kind. Or, yknow, any formal education past grade 3 (although we know from supplemental material that he did get some kind of tutoring from the ninja, so this point is debatable).

If some kind of in-universe CPS equivalent exists, then they certainly don't do anything. No one has ever reported or raised issue with Lloyd being homeless, Cole also being homeless for a while, the ninja not being in school, Kai and Nya being parent-free since the ages of ~6 and 3 respectively, and other such things that would ordinarily be cause for alarm.

While there is canon evidence that Kai and Nya received some degree of aid from their community, especially when they were younger, this seems to be completely absent by the time the series begins. Perhaps the community's assistance began to withdraw over time as the siblings faced increasing expectations to become self-sufficient despite still being children. Like, "you're 10 years old now, Kai, it's time for you to start pulling your weight and taking care of the shop by yourself. You need to grow up."

If we approach Ninjago's worldbuilding from this context, suddenly the teacher arc becomes less of a plothole and more...depressing, tbh.

And in a weird way, this interpretation actually fits in nicely with Ninjago's themes of generational trauma. Think about it. Society was damaged by the Serpentine War. And because they never really healed from what happened, the kids of future generations continue to face the normalization of their childhoods gradually being ripped away from them before they're ready. Kinda like kids in a broken home taking on adult responsibilities to cover the slack. Kinda like Cole handling house chores while his father grieved away from home. Kina like Kai and Nya running the shop while their parents were gone.

And everyone is just...used to it. The only times in all 15 seasons that anyone stakes a complaint about this system are in seasons 1-2 when Lloyd was a little child, in season 8 when Harumi was ridiculing the ninja, and in season 15 when Wu refused to lead the Paper Boys into battle.

(I do think it's worth noting that young children are still regarded as kids, of course, as seen with how the ninja were treated when they got de-aged. But this isn't really a refutation of my argument, as much as it is a clue to help us identify society's cutoff for childhood innocence.)

Again, it's more of a circumstantial theory than anything based in fact. So you're free to dispute it as you like. But you have to admit it would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

Anyway, that was...a lot longer than I was expecting it to be. Damn. I'm beginning to think that's gonna be a running theme with these theory posts.

Thanks for the ask! <3

[ccbunnv]

Hi, could you do something more with villain!Bill? Maybe something like when the hero and the reader gets in a fight and when the hero is helping the city something interesting happens. Maybe like the hero accidentally hurts the reader but doesnt bother to help since they are still mad at eachother and then there comes Bill. You can finish this as you like! An early thanks if you do it!

(Sorry if you got tired of writting villain!Bill😭)

<33 it's ok !

˖°🦇ִ ࣪𖤐 villain! bill x fem! reader fluff

"Dan! where the hell did my guitar go?!" I asked in a shout, rage piling up within me as my boyfriend came back home, his neck decorated with a purple-pink lipstick that didn't belong to me.

his infidelity wasn't something I could be concerned with right now. my guitar was missing, even though I had very clearly saw it this morning before I left for work.

I owned a second-hand black gibson guitar I worked my ass off for at the age of 16 and he knew just how much it meant to me.

drunkenly, he waved his hand, dismissing my worries for the expensive instrument that was missing from its holder. he uttered out, his breath reeking of beer, "I sold it."

"what?!" I yelled, "you sold it!?"

"yeah, and? I needed money for booze." his words slurred, acting as firewood for the burning anger in my heart.

"you sold the fucking guitar that I spent two years saving up for!?" I asked, following him as he entered our room.

he took his clothes off, throwing it onto the floor, "so what?"

"what do you mean so what?" I looked bewildered.

"I save this whole city every day!" he shouted, pointing to himself, "do you know how much trauma I go through!? the booze is the only way for me to forget this!"

he had used this tactic on me all too many times. ever since the beginning of our relationship, he kept asking for money. for clothes, for therapy, and it eventually turned to more honest admissions, like booze or luxury items.

it's not like he doesn't get money either. the city council hands him a cheque worth thousands of dollars and where does he spend it on? for girls to sleep with him, on gambling.

"then why don't you go to therapy?!" I asked.

he clicked his tongue, grabbing the bottle of perfume on the dresser nearby and throwing it in my direction. the glass crashed against the wall, bits and pieces falling down and creating an unruly melody.

the scent of the perfume spread across the room as the extract seeped into the carpet below my feet. he shouted, "shut the fuck up, bitch! I'm tired of your bullshit!"

"everyday you nag and scold me! I save your life whenever you become the damsel in distress, and this is the payment I receive!?" he yelled, grabbing another perfume bottle and throwing it at my direction.

"you're an ungrateful, disgusting whore! you spread your legs for every man you come across, don't you!? you slut!" he walked towards me faster than I could back away, and he slapped me on my face hard.

"I think I should teach you a lesson." he panted, grabbing my hair and dragging me to the bed. his hands reached down and started to unbuckle his belt.

fear and dread dawned upon me, my breathing growing ragged. my stomach churned, and with all the strength I could muster, I kicked his knees in and booked it out the door.

the night air was chilly, I could see the hot air leaving my lips as I ran from the apartment complex as fast as I could. tears prickled at the corners of my eyes, my heartbeat eventually calming when I reached a safe distance away.

I stayed at a friend's house that night.

𓆩♱𓆪

I didn't really go back to the apartment complex after that. I didn't want to face him and the pile of luxury resting in the living room. it felt disgusting for me to even see his face on billboards, praising his presence or advertising a product.

I continued at my job, after having blocked him on all form of communication. email, contacts, even myspace and facebook, even though I didn't go online often. the repulsion I felt from that near rape incident left me with needing melatonin gummies to sleep.

and even though I looked up and down on ebay, hoping to find my gibson guitar, but it was nowhere to be found. I eventually gave up.

my heels clicked down the streets as I made my way to the train station, hoping to get back to my friend's house early so I didn't have to stare at Dan's ugly fucking mug on the damn walls of every establishment in this shithole called a city.

then, a loud explosion occured not a few minutes later behind me, in a large corporate building. I craned my head backwards, hoping it wasn't Dan, and then a crowd of people came running by. their screams filled my ears, cries from toddlers, infants and children alike accompanied those horrific screams.

scared, I began to run as well, but then the police closed the gates to safety on me. they couldn't risk anything dangerous entering and contaminating the safe area. I looked around, noticing that everybody else who had been locked in the battle field like me had already taken cover.

fear covered my body, as I watched a very familiar silhouette enter from the shadows. a velvet coat draped over his tall, model-like frame, his brown eyes glaring deep into mine. my heart thumped loudly within my ribcages.

"BILL!" I heard that dastardly voice call out.

I turned my head to find Dan, in his tacky but versatile hero suit. oh, it looked horrible. I looked over at Bill, noticing that for some reason, his all-black outfit was better-looking than the hero's tasteless costume.

"DAN!" I heard the villain respond, his voice enchanting to the ears.

I heard his voice one too many times, and is it wrong to say that I've missed it?

I got up and ran to hide behind a car, trying to shield myself from the oncoming battle. Bill hummed, "and you brought your girlfriend. have you no idea what safety is?"

"shut up!" he responded, ripping a pillar from a falling building and throwing it at Bill, who very swiftly ducked it.

Dan charged towards him, but he switched spots instead. now he stood close to me, just a few inches away from the car I hid behind.

he taunted, "wow! what happened to your aiming, Dan? you've gotten so shit at it!"

of course, my prideful (soon to be ex) boyfriend couldn't handle such a tease, and he grabbed one of the discarded cars at the side, throwing it at Bill.

unfortunately, his aim was shit, and it knocked the car I was hiding behind away. glass broke and flew everywhere, scarring my face and my body, some chunks finding place against my body.

I hissed as my leg was kept under a car, a sharp part dug into my calf, making it ooze blood but I couldn't pull it out. I looked over at Dan, hoping for help because after all, he was the hero. but he looked away from me.

Bill noticed this out of the blue situation, but decided not to question. the pain burnt through my body, and I wanted to scream and cry. I eventually passed out from the pain.

when I woke up, I expected to hear the beeping of a heart monitor but to my surprise, it's to the gentle sound of a door creaking open. my vision blurred, before fixating at the person standing near the door. I couldn't speak at all, but there was no need for that.

Bill walked over and sat next to me, looking down at my unmoving body. he said, "you're awake."

I murmured, "mm."

"how do you feel?" he tilted his head curiously.

"mm-m." I shook my head side to side a little, but that alone made my head hurt.

"hm." he hummed, "well, just get some shut-eye. I'll be back soon." he got up and then left.

I stared at the ceiling for a short while before obeying his words. I closed my eyes again and let myself drift to dreamland.

𓆩♱𓆪

shortly after, I woke up again. I slowly looked to my side, to find Bill dozing off on the chair next to me. his head dipped down little by little, and he was doing his best to keep it up.

I stared at him for a little while, but he soon woke up. he rubbed his eyes, "do you feel better now?"

"...yeah." my voice was hoarse and cracking from hours of not drinking water.

he reached to his nightstand and brought out a glass of water for me to drink. I felt my throat get instantly better as the water ran down.

he sighed, "did you and your boyfriend get into a fight, or something?"

"what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"did you and Dan get into a fight?" he asked, "I didn't think he'd leave his girlfriend, much less an injured civilian, right in the middle of the battlefield."

"...yeah, we did get in a fight," I mumbled, "it's like, a long story."

"you can always tell me." he shrugged.

I didn't really know if I should, after all, this man was a villain. and he held that title for a very good reason. however, my heart was in shambles, and I needed to tell it, or I fear I'd suffer worse than nightmares.

so I told him. I watched as his facial features morphed from shock to sympathy to disgust. utter repulsion, from the fact that the hero tried to take advantage of his own girlfriend.

at the end of my story, he looked at me with a frown. he breathed in and out, "so...are you staying somewhere safe right now?"

"yeah, at a friend's place. but I think I should move out soon, because she wants to move her boyfriend in." I responded.

"you can come live with me," he proposed, "I've got tons of bedrooms here. this is just a guest bedroom currently."

I looked around the room I was in. this extravagant bedroom with a view to the city, is just a guest bedroom?

I said softly, "...you're not kidding?"

"no," he shook his head, "I don't think you deserve to be kid right after that experience, honestly."

"...but I can't afford it," I mumbled.

"can you cook?" he asked.

"yeah?" I replied.

"then that's your payment. cook me meals." he said simply, as if money was nothing to him.

well, it really was nothing to him, after all. he's got a mountain's worth of riches and could probably support five generations or more.

I blinked a couple of times, before leaning down to pinch my injured arm. I hissed, pulling back quickly when I accidentally pinched a wound.

"it's real," he affirmed, standing up and smiling, "when will you move in?"

"I don't know," I said softly, "do you have a date where you're free?"

"next Friday then." he said, leaving the room.

𓆩♱𓆪

my life with him was much better than my life with Dan. I had broken it off with him prior to moving in with Bill, and needless to say, he didn't take the news very well.

news began to spread that I was a whore and I slept with the villain, and even a mule knew who spread such a petty rumour. but the city kissed the soles of his shit-covered boots as always.

well, it didn't matter anymore. Bill was a man who respected my privacy and enjoyed my cooking. he stuck by my side even at my worst, and I had never heard a word of judgement leave his lips before.

then my heart began to beat whenever I was around him. I saw sparkles surround him. I wanted to hold his hand whenever we were in close proximity.

he seemed to feel the same too, as he had began making his move. he held my hand for short periods of time. he made time for us to go out and eat. we hung around in the living room until midnight talking about our experiences in mundane, boring things.

being alive felt so much better around him.

the sky was blue and it wasn't too hot nor sunny as I walked down the streets, finding the billboards to be more tolerable now that I wasn't really connected to Dan in any way other than exes.

I looked through the paper grocery bag, hoping that I bought everything for tonight's dinner, and making silent plans for tomorrow's breakfast. maybe avocado toast with poached egg? or breakfast bites? maybe french toast.

the sky dimmed and I figured it was going to rain soon. looking through my totebag, I realised I didn't bring my umbrella. if I ran fast enough, maybe I could catch the bus back home in time.

but when I reached the bus stop, the bus doors shut and it drove off. thunder rumbled and I brought out my phone, trying to tell Bill that I was gonna be later.

as I was about to text him, I heard someone call out my name. I tilted my head upwards to find Bill with an umbrella over his head. he said softly, "I was window shopping. I take you didn't bring an umbrella?"

I laughed and said, "no, I didn't."

he chuckled, "then, do you mind sharing one?"

"I don't think so." I shook my head, going under the umbrella with him.

the rain pitter-pattered on the surface of the black umbrella, and we were extremely close with eachother. we had a lot to talk about, like prices on groceries, tomorrow's lunch, what movies we should watch tonight etc.

"right," he then said softly, "I have a gift for you."

"really? you didn't have to!" I smiled happily, clutching the brown paper bag tighter to my chest.

"I wanted to," he shrugged, "it got delivered today. come on."

we both ran back to his car that was parked in the underground parking lot, rainwater filling my shoes and staining the edges of my jeans. sure, it felt disgusting afterwards, but it was a memorable sight.

he began to drive quickly back to his mansion, while I put on some songs for us to listen to.

𓆩♱𓆪

"don't look!" Bill called out, and I laughed a little.

he was preparing my gift while my eyes were closed and I was forced away from the tempting present in the living room. then, he walked over to me, the soft thumps of his boots muffled by the carpeted floor.

his hands settled on my shoulders, and he slowly guided me towards the living room. he whispered, "keep your eyes closed."

I smiled a little, "alright..."

though I agreed, I tried to open my eyes slightly to just peek at what the gift was, but his hands swiftly moved from my shoulders to press against my eyes.

I laughed again as he reprimanded, "I told you keep your eyes closed!"

"sorry, I'm just excited..." I responded, giggling.

I could feel his smile behind me as he lead me into the living room. slowly but steadily, he removed his hands and said, "you can open your eyes know."

so I did. and the view in front of me shattered me.

it was my guitar. the same one I lost to Dan's alcoholism. the same scratches on its ebony body, the same sticker from my favourite band stuck to the back.

he said quietly, "it took me a while, but I found it."

I looked ecstatic, rushing over to cradle my guitar in my hands. I looked over at him and said, "you didn't have to..."

"I wanted to," he knelt down to my now-kneeling figure, and said, "because I know how much it means to you."

"and you've been here for longer than anybody ever has," he whispered, "I'm glad you did."

his hands brushed against my cheek, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ears. I said, my tone matching his, "I'm glad I stayed."

"I..." my heart was hesitant. what if this was just a friendly gift? what if I was overthinking? but I just continued, "I like you, Bill, not just as a friend, but something more."

"I don't know why," I said, "but when I see you, I get giddy inside. I love cooking for you, I love listening to your genius plans,"

"I love you." I whispered. his eyes were fixated onto mine, and then he smiled that gorgeous smile, and I felt my heartbeat quicken. butterflies filled my stomach, my body felt numb and jelly.

"I love you too," he muttered, "I don't know when, I don't know how, I just did."

"and I'm glad you feel the same." he said softly, before pressing a kiss against my eyelids. he trailed his lips down, and without hesitation, he brought his lips against mine.

I very gladly returned it.

𓆩♱𓆪

[anonymous-dentist]

Quite frankly some of y’all are getting too parasocial again, especially with the ‘LGBTQSMP’ stuff. By y’all, I mean the fandom at large, but don’t think I haven’t seen some weird stuff on here too.

Last night on Quackity’s stream, one of the first donos called him a “fruit loop”. And like okay, whatever, that’s bad, but then I managed to find the dono’s twitter literally by accident going through my twitter feed and here’s their reason why they did it:

And that’s really fucking weird! You all see why this is weird, right? And all of the replies to the clip of the dono I found (where I found this person) were all in agreement that this was a funny and totally normal thing to do. But, as I’m sure everyone is aware, this is not, in fact, normal. It’s parasocial as fuck, and it’s weird at best and harassment at worst.

Donation etiquette posts are something that go around the fandom every couple of days, and for good reason. Some people are too goddamn parasocial. You don’t know these people, and they don’t know you. It’s like if you walk up to the cashier at McDonalds and call them a “fruit loop” because you saw her talking to another girl earlier. That’s fucked up. At best, it’s fucking weird to do. At worst, it’s outing/harassment. (Not that I think Quackity is queer or anything, that’s none of my business, and it’s not anyone else’s.)

I’ve seen some weird stuff on Twitter recently. Truthing, really, and that’s something parts of this fandom have struggled with for a really long time. But take this tweet by the same person as above as an example:

There’s a difference between jokes about “haha the qsmp is just a gay dating show and jaiden”, but some people are taking that way too literally. I’ve seen truthing on both the English side and Spanish side of the community recently, and you know that I’m not searching it out for the sake of drama because I don’t speak Spanish. I’ve seen multiple Spanish accounts on Twitter telling people to stop being weird in chat because it’s gotten to the point there that the mods are getting involved (I was watching Roier’s stream last night, and I’m pretty sure I saw this myself in chat.)

Jokes are fine. Fandom jokes are fine. But that’s where the jokes should stay- in the fandom. Yes, Quackity made a joke on day one stumbling over his words and “accidentally” calling everyone his boyfriends. Yes, the Spanish creators are a lot more chill with shipping content than the English ones. That doesn’t mean anything irl. Calling it the first bisexual smp is fine as a fandom joke, but people seem to be considering it truth when, as far as I’m aware, there’s only one actual bisexual on the server, and there’s, I believe, only two LGBTQ+ members. While the default shouldn’t be straight, it isn’t cool to just assume people’s identities, and especially not from what they do in minecraft roleplay. That’s called acting, not real life.

Truthing is dangerous. Anyone older than 16 probably remembers the way Markiplier and Jacksepticeye stopped interacting online entirely, and it’s because truthing and shipping actively damaged their friendship. Dan and Phil struggled with this, too, with them actually being gay but being unable to come out until years after they were popular because of all the truthing going on with them.

It’s dangerous! It’s weird as hell! Not everyone is dnf. Even if their boundaries don’t mention it specifically, it should be common sense not to openly speculate on a cc’s sexuality. It should be even more common sense not to call them a literal slur in their text-to-speech donos because you think it’s “telling the truth”. For a straight person, it’s just uncomfortable. For a queer person not out, it could be dangerous.

As a whole, the fandom has been behaving. We’re just under a week in as of today when I’m writing this, so I guess we’ll have to see what happens next. But please remember to be normal. These people aren’t your friends. You don’t know them. You barely even know their characters right now. So calm down and touch some grass before someone actually gets hurt.

[flower-boi16]

Let's Analyze and Rank Every Song in Hazbin Hotel (From a Narrative Perspective) From Worst to Best

Hazbin Hotel has a pretty good soundtrack. The songs are definitely one of the better parts of the show, they are well-sung, well-composed, and just incredibly catchy. As songs completely divorced from the context and narrative of the main show...they are really good...

...however, Hazbin Hotel is also a musical, meaning that the songs also have to play into the narrative of the show. I want to try something different in this post; here, I'm going to rank each song in Hazbin Hotel not as songs, but rather, analyzing them from a purely narrative point of view, what they do for the show's characters, plot, as well as what happens in them, factoring in the outside context and narrative of the show as well as looking directly at the lyrics.

Because, when you judge Hazbin's songs from a purely narrative standpoint & factor in the outside context of a lot of the show's writing...many of the songs begin to completely fall apart. without further ado...let's get into this ranking.

16. Hell is Forever (2/10)

A major issue with Hazbin that I've talked about a lot on this blog is how heavily black and white the show's themes are in spite of the show preaching about being against black-and-white moralities.

Charlie is always portrayed as completely in the right and anyone who remotely opposes her is portrayed as automatically in the wrong despite the fact that, her "everyone can be redeemed" mentality is just as simplistic and black-and-white as Adam's "no one can be redeemed" mentality. But the show never calls that out and only tears down Adam's ideology while portraying Charlie's mentality as completely right despite it also being just as extreme as Adam's, but the show never chooses to call that out.

Adam is also nothing but a pure straw character who only exists to be torn down by the narrative and thus can't have much real depth or nuance as a character beyond "asshole who swears a lot" (which I talked about before).

The reason why Hell is Forever is at the very bottom of the list is because the song puts those issues on full display. It exposes how black-and-white the show's theming is and how much of a strawman Adam is.

Lines like "the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it" or "are they winners? are they sinners? cuz it's cut and dry" not only sound awkward from a song perspective but also sound very forced from a narrative perspective; it's shoving down the "Heaven bad" message down your through and simply shows how one-dimensional Adam is as a character, very explicitly saying "HEY LOOK HOW BAD HEAVEN IS AND HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE ADAM IS!!!"

Those lyrics show Adam being a pure straw character at his worst since they no-so subtly communicate the idea of "Heaven bad" in a way that's forced and awkward. Those aren't the only lyrics that show this, as there is the verse where Adam says "There's the question of fun (fun) and for those of us with divine ordainment...extermination is entertainment!".

It insinuates that the exterminations are purely a game to Adam and the exorcists and they do it because it's fun, which does no favors in further cementing Adam as a one-dimensional pure straw character.

Ultimately, while Hell is Forever exposes how black-and-white Heaven's way of thinking is, the song also exposes how black-and-white and simplistic the show's own themes and messages are, making it the worst the song in the entire show from a narrative point of view.

15. Out for Love (3/10)

Out for Love, like Hell is Forever, puts one of the show's major writing issues on full display and ends up even validating it in-universe. Out for Love’s entire premise as a song is that Vaggie needs to fight for her loved ones (specifically Charlie) rather than just for vengeance. This works fine enough until you start factoring in outside context within in the narrative.

First of all, Carmilla says that Vaggie is "driven by her detestation" and is fighting for pure vengeance….but she isn’t. Vaggie was never thirsting for vengeance at all, she always thought for Charlie, one of the lines in Whatever It Takes literally says that Vaggie will be Charlie’s armour, as in, she’ll try and protect her no matter what.

So Vaggie was never driven by vengeance in the first place so this song’s message doesn’t make much sense. Oh, but I haven’t even gotten to what this song means for Vaggie as a character.

The main issue with Vaggie as a character throughout the show is how she is heavily defined by Charlie, not just that "she doesn't get developed beyond being Charlie's girlfriend", no, I mean EVERY SINGLE major character moment Vaggie has is tied to Charlie in some way.

Out for Love accentuates that issue, being Vaggie's second big character moment where she has to fuel herself with the desire to protect Charlie, to fight for Charlie and ONLY Charlie. The song even confirms that Vaggie is defined by Charlie in-universe with the line "Fuel yourself with the fear of losing that somebody who's you reason to live".

Vaggie can't exist without Charlie. She can only be Charlie's partner and girlfriend. She is only defined by Charlie. She is just "Charlie's girlfriend". All of her character moments revolve being a good girlfriend to Charlie and defending her.

Out for Love while having a good message on paper ends up putting of the show's major issues on full display like Hell is Forever and the message flat out validates an issue with the show.

14. Whatever it Takes (3/10)

Whatever it Takes has a similar problem to Out for Love in terms of what it does for Vaggie as a character. It, like the former song, it keeps on pushing the idea of Vaggie being solely defined by Charlie, as Vaggie's verse in this song is purely about her singing about how much she wants to protect Charlie and the best girlfriend to her.

Again, it has a solid enough message on paper (singing about how you'll do anything to protect your loved ones) but in the context of the rest of the series this only further damages Vaggie as a character and further cements Vaggie as just "Charlie's girlfriend".

This song is intended to be a major character moment for Vaggie, but the problem is that character is tied directly to Charlie. Again, Vaggie's big character moments revolve around Charlie in some way, making her whole character tied to Charlie.

The song also has other problems with Vaggie directly tied to the lyrics. The lyric "It felt so good to be understood" is pretty weird to me, because how did Charlie make Vaggie feel understood? How did Charlie understand Vaggie in anyway? Since when was Vaggie being misunderstood apart of her character? Because it never was.

The song is also supposed to be a big emotional ballad for Carmilla, where she sings about her motivations for why she killed the angel, that being she wanted to protect her family and do whatever it took....

....which would've been impactful if Carmilla wasn't a character introduced in this same episode that the show barely does much of anything to get you to care about. We haven't gotten to know Carmilla much as a character so this whole moment feels unearned and unimpactful.

Whatever It Takes, like Out for Love has a sweet enough message on paper, but factoring the outside context of the show's writing damages the song significantly.

13. Finale (3/10)

Finale has a similar problem to You Didn't Know (which I'll cover later) in how despite being this grand, big musical number, it feels empty and hollow.

The first verse has Charlie mourning over Pentious' death which would've been fine if his death wasn't played as a joke in the same episode right before the episode then instantly treated it like a big moment. Then the verse further shows how hollow this song feels when Lucifer says that Charlie was the "first one to change this town" and how she helped everyone grow into better people and "touched their hearts"

....except she didn't. Lucifer, please tell me, how did Charlie remotely change Hell in the slightest? Sure, she proved that sinners can become better people, but this line implies that Charlie made a difference in Hell and changed it to be a better place in some way...when she didn't. She never "changed" Hell as a whole. And the part where Lucifer sings about how Charlie "helped the sinners become better people & grow" doesn't feel impactful because we never saw that growth happen.

Characters singing about how much they've grown doesn't work when we never saw that growth actually happen. The song wants to be this grand number about how Charlie helped souls improve as people but it falls flat within the context of the story because we never saw this process of Charlie helping Pentious and Angel to become better people, rather the show just completely skips over that.

Then the characters start singing about how they'll rebuild the hotel and make it even better than before to cheer Charlie up...

...why are they still trying the hotel after Heaven REJECTED it? Seriously, Charlie's plan to convince Heaven FAILED, there isn't much of a point to still continuing the hotel at this point since they KNOW that Heaven isn't going to accept it. They know they can't get sinners in Heaven because Heaven's rules are bullshit.

Oh, and this is not the only part of the song that doesn't make any sense in the context of the story, as then there's the V's singing about a power gap in Hell...that didn't happen, yet they act as if the extermination happened all across Hell when it was only toward the hotel and everything else was completely unaffected. How are overlords "hanging by a thread" exactly???

The final verse is then this grand final chorus about how they'll "be better" and redeem themselves and all I can feel is just...nothing. Because the show never earned this grand big final moment to make it feel impactful.

Finale is intended to be this grand final song about how much the characters have grown but it all feels empty and hollow because the show didn't do anything to actually earn this moment at all. I feel nothing when I listen to this song. Absolutely, nothing.

12. You Didn't Know (4/10)

I already made a full analysis of You Didn't Know so this section won't be nearly as long as the others, but like the other songs, from a story perspective You Didn't Know feels unearned and hollow. The main issue with the song is that although it clearly TRIES and gets you to feel something...it doesn't, which is entirely because of the show's outside writing.

Though again, I've already talked about this song before in a previous post where I analyzed each verse so go read that if you want my full opinion on why the song fails from a story perspective.

You Didn't Know just feels hollow, it's this grand, big musical number that's meant to be the climax of episode 6, a song that's BEGGING you to feel something...but it doesn't.

11. Happy Day In Hell (4/10)

Happy Day in Hell serves as the very first song in the show and Charlie’s I Want song.

For older fans, it doesn't really tell you anything new about Charlie as a character and is kind of redundant as a song, it just says that Charlie is optimistic and believes anyone can be redeemed, which is something Inside of Every Demon is A Rainbow already did.

However, to newer fans who haven't seen the pilot or any supplementary material, Happy Day in Hell could serve as a good introduction to Charlie as a character can tell you a lot about her...except that the rest of Hazbin doesn't seem to be made with newer fans in mind. Overture is written as a direct continuation of the pilot, and that would be fine if the episode reintroduced the characters for newer audiences...but it doesn't. It seemingly expects you to have already watched the pilot or any other supplementary material before seeing the show, meaning that it's catering to Viv's past audience.

With that in mind, Happy Day in Hell becomes a lot more confusing. If this is supposed to be an introduction to Charlie for newer fans...why wasn't the rest of the episode written like this? And if the show is expecting you to have seen the pilot, then Happy Day in Hell becomes completely redundant since again, Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow tells you everything this song does about Charlie as a character, and that song did it with infinitely better visuals. Sure, there's Charlie singing about how she wants to change Heaven's mind and prove them wrong etc but anyone who watched the pilot would already know that, so a song isn't really necessary.

Happy Day in Hell would have been better if the rest of the episode it was in wasn't written the way it was. With the context of how the rest of Overture is written, Happy Day in Hell just comes across as Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow except...worse.

10. Hell's Greatest Dad (4/10)

Hell's Greatest Dad doesn't make much sense. Alastor seemingly dislikes Lucifer for some reason and starts playing up a fatherly role to Charlie purely to piss her dad off...for some reason??? I've seen Cartoonshi try to make an explanation with this:

"This is an instance of Alastor just being petty because, underneath his smile and the persona he's crafted for himself, he cares a lot about his own reputation and doesn't take it well when people don't seem to respect it or have any interest in him"

However, as Cartoonshi later points out, Alastor's first reaction to Lucifer is twitching his eyes in rage, which is BEFORE Lucifer "disrespects" Alastor's reputation, so it still seems like Alastor has some unknown beef with Lucifer for...some reason? We don't know. The song also suddenly builds a father-daughter bond with Charlie and Alastor out of nowhere...? Again, this could be Alastor just purposefully trying to piss Lucifer off but like. Why???

Hell's Greatest Dad just suffers from Lucifer and Alastor's rivalry just kinda not making much sense and rushing in a found family dynamic at the last minute.

9. More Than Anything (Reprise) (4.5/10)

More than Anything Reprise has a similar problem to Finale and You Didn’t Know where the characters sing about how much they've grown and how much Charlie helped them grow when we never see that actually happen, all of that growth happened off-screen.

A big reason why this gets annoying is because it ends up feeling a form of telling rather than showing; we're TOLD that Charlie helped the characters grow and become better, we're TOLD that Charlie changed Hell as a place, we're TOLD that she "changed the lives" and "did so much" but we NEVER SAW that. We never saw Charlie slowly help Angel and Pentious become better people, again, a majority of their arcs happen off-screen and they end up feeling rushed.

Aside from that I just care very little about this relationship. Chaggie is a pretty boring relationship with little chemistry between them so I can't really feel much from this song. It's a cute enough moment I guess but again, I don't feel very invested in this relationship.

More Than Anything Reprise while a cute moment suffers from the same issue as the past songs and I can't really feel much for it since I don't care much about this romance.

8. Ready for This (6/10)

This is where we start getting to the pretty decent songs story-wise. There isn't exactly that much wrong with Ready For This aside from how some of lyrics are...weird for Charlie as a character.

A lot of the lyrics are about Charlie "coming to her own" and "ascending to her throne" when that was never something that was apart of her character...? Aside from that most of the song is fine. It's Charlie singing about how she’s accomplishing her destiny, which is consistent with Charlie since she was also singing about her destiny in Happy Day in Hell, so there isn’t too much "characters having grand musical numbers that don’t feel earned" here, aside from the previous problem I just mentioned.

So overall, ready for this is a fine song in terms of what it does for the narrative. It has problems, but its better than the previous few songs.

7. More Than Anything (6.5/10)

More Than Anything suffers from one big issue that harms the song, mainly the final verse. Basically, Charlie just says "I need 2 save mah people" and Lucifer is just like "ok". The reconciliation is kinda rushed here, and, since this song is meant to be Charlie and Lucifer reconciling, this tanks the song quite a bit. That being said, there is stuff I like about the song.

For one, it provides decent development for Lucifer and Charlie as characters, with Lucifer singing about how he didn't want Charlie to be faced with the same crushing feeling that he faced when Heaven rejected him, showing that in spite of his flaws, he does deeply care about Charlie as her daughter. For Charlie, the song gives the information that Lucifer inspired Charlie as a child, inspiring Charlie to fight for her dreams to become a reality.

Also, while it's still rushed, the song is still a cute moment between the two, with them reconciling and Charlie being able to bring back a spark within Lucifer, with him promising that he'll support Charlie's dreams, and how he's grateful for being her father, and that Charlie is grateful for being his daughter.

While More Than Anything does still feel a bit rushed, it's still a cute moment between two characters.

6. Welcome to Heaven (7/10)

Welcome to Heaven also doesn't have much wrong with it narrative wise. It basically just serves as world-building Heaven, which is fine, and the world-building it does provide does really have any major holes in it.

Don't really have much to say here.

5. It Starts With Sorry (7/10)

It Starts With Sorry is pretty good. The song is basically about Charlie deciding that Pentious deserves a second chance, singing about how she'll take his redemption one simple step at a time, beginning with him simply saying "Sorry". She believes that any soul can be redeemed though it may take some time.

She recognizes that, Pentious isn't all bad, seeing a decent person deep down. The message of the song is sweet and there aren't any real narrative issues with it. It's actually pretty good narratively and sets up Pentious arc decently well (though that arc is rushed but hey).

4. Stayed Gone (7/10)

Stayed Gone is a pretty fun rivalry song. It's a duet between Alastor and Vox, two visceral rivals, one TV and the other radio. The song does do a good job of showing Vox's pettiness in their rivalry, with his whole cool and levelheaded facade completely shattering at the mere mention of Alastor. His whole verse is spent on how Alastor's medium is "outdated", insulting him, calling Al a "coward" and among other things. Alastor meanwhile, spends his whole verse poking fun at Vox, right before he pisses of Vox so much that he starts buffering and he ends the song on a menacing note.

Again, not much to say here, Stayed Gone is just a pretty fun song that does a good job at showing the rivalry between Vox and Alastor.

3. Poison (8/10)

Poison is a song that does its job pretty well. The song is meant to show Angel Dust's struggles at the hands of Valentino, who now owns his soul. The lyrics emphasize the direness of Angel's situation; how he's trapped at the hands of Val, slowly dying from poison he's being forced to drink, being trapped in the claws of a cruel rapist sexually abusing him for his own pleasure, constantly being tortured every single night.

He believes it's his fault for his situation, that he can only blame himself for falling to Val's lies and his deal, that he should have seen what would have happened when he made the deal with Val. And now, he's just...accepted it, believing that this is just his life now and he'll be all for Val in any way he wants him to be.

And the song ends somberly as Angel falls to the ground after the night. It defiantly does capture the struggles of someone being SA'd, and does a good job of showing the horrendous mental state Angel is in.

I know a lot of people REALLY hate the Poison sequence for apparently fetishizing SA, but I'm analyzing the song, not the stuff shown in it, and to me, I think Poison does a great job of showing Angel's horrendous mental state and struggles, and does add a lot to Angel as a character.

2. Respectless (9/10)

I used to criticize Respectless for feeling more like a conversation that the characters are singing rather than a song, and it does still kinda feel that way. However, I don't think the song is unnecessary anymore because it establishes a lot about Vellvette as a character.

The song shows Velvette being overly smug, arrogant, confident and bratty, not having any respect for the authorities higher than her, doing whatever the fuck she wants and not giving a damn about the higher authorities think, having no respect for them. But the song also demonstrates Velvette being cunning and smart, being able to tell that Carmilla is hiding something based simply on the expression of her face when she first brought the angel's head.

She instantly knows that, Carmilla might know what happened to the angel. The song displays a more developed personality for Velvette as a character in just one-minute than characters like Adam or Crimson or whoever the fuck did in multiple episodes, making Velvette one of the best antagonists in all of Hellaverse (which I talked about here). Respectless also continues this theme with Carmilla demanding that Velvette check her attitude, calling her and the Vee's "Smug wannabees who don't head when they've been warned", giving off an impression of an authority being made at the disrespect being thrown at her, which Velvette just responds by smugly saying "oops".

The song also does do a good job of furthering the plot along while doing a great job of showing off Velvette's personality. Respectless overall is a great song that furthers the plot along while telling us a lot about Velvette as a character.

1. Loser Babey (10/10)

I'm assuming y'all did not expect this song to be number one, huh? Loser Baby seems to be fairly divisive amongst viewers, a lot of people love it, others despise it. Personally, I think the song is pretty great.

A common critique that Loser Babey gets is supposedly making fun of Angel for being SA'd, and, I can see why some people may see the song that way considering the first chorus. However, it's best to factor in the verse that comes before that chorus (holy shit I'm defending HH. I am just as surprised as you are).

The first verse is Husk singing to Angel about how he's at rock bottom, the lowest point anyone can be, his life being wrecked from his deal by Val, it all looks dire and hopeless as Angel is trapped in a dark situation with no way out, believing his life to be a trash fire at this point...and Husk says that he's right! His life IS a trash fire, he IS in a dark situation, he IS at absolute rock bottom, he's a "loser", if you will. Admittedly saying he's a loser might be a bit iffy but you can still see the point; Husk is saying that Angel is completely correct, that his life is a dumpster fire where he can't try and fight back, but he says that he isn't alone in this.

Husk had a similar experience with Alastor, where, like Angel, made a deal with an overlord and lost everything, regretting that decision for the rest of his afterlife as he's trapped at the hands of Alastor, with every day of his life being torture for him now, like with Angel. Granted, Husk's situation isn't 1 to 1 the same as Angel's, but there is still a parallel with how they made bad deals with overlords that they lived to regret, how they became trapped in these deals that seemed appealing at first but worn down when the overlords showed their true colors.

And so, Husk tells Angel that, it's better to set down the walls he's built for himself, letting hope back into his life and finally having someone he can bond and relate to due to having similar experiences. He's no longer alone. His situation is still bad, but at least now, he has someone who he can bond with and help push him through his situation, and that person ended up being Husk, the last person who he thought would have gotten him to open up.

I know I'm going to get a lot of people who'll disagree with me and that's fine, but personally...Loser Baby is the best song in the whole show in terms of its narrative. It provides great character growth for Angel & Husk, does a good job of furthering their relationship, and (in my opinion), has a really sweet and beautiful message of how you aren't alone in a dire situation, and that's best to let others help you rather than sulking by yourself in the dark. You aren't alone. There are people who may have had similar experiences to you, and it's best to let them in rather than shun them away.

And the thing is; Loser Baby is not only the best song narratively, but musically, making it overall the best song in the whole show. It's one of the only songs in the show that manages it be great in both categories, like a musical show should, which is what makes this song truly stand out compared to the rest of Hazbin's soundtrack.

It's the best song in the whole show, hands down.

Conclusion

Well, that was long. In all honesty, the songs lower on the list might have been better if the writing around them was better, since that's a problem a majority of them suffer from. If Vaggie wasn't defined by Charlie, Whatever it Takes and Out for Love wouldn't be so low, and if we got to know Carmilla and Emily better, Whatever it Takes and You Didn't Know would've been more impactful.

Really a lot of the songs just suffer from being in a very mediocre and flawed show, and the reason why songs like Loser Baby and Poison were high was because the writing around them was actually good, but hey, the good ones were still able to pull through in the end. So ya, that's my ranking...bye.

[chiefdirector]

Beginning | Tim Bradford | The Rookie

Act One | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24

Despite being in this room for what felt like a thousand times, (Y/N) couldn't help but feel uneasy. The put in the bottom of her stomach grew and grew until it felt like a black hole of nervousness. It took all of her might to stay still in her seat, trying to look composed. Now was not the time to show weakness.

Seemingly reading her mind, Tim leaned across, taking one of her hands in his, stopping her from fiddling with her wedding band once more. It was a habit she had meant to break a thousand times but she had never seemed to crack it.

The conversation from the night before spun through her mind. She had lost so much to this, something priceless, (Y/N) didn't know if she could lose any more. She had gotten her life back, she fought like hell to get some semblance of peace for the last two years. Her karma had come, and now it could leave her again.

Those two years she spent longing for her life back, for her husband back, she hadn't realised just how much she missed everything else. Angela and her awful jokes, the way Grey always knew what to say to her. She missed her neighbours and the cookies they brought over when they baked too much. She got it all back.

There were things that were lost forever. Her rapport with Captain Anderson, the woman who inspired her more than anything; she never got to say goodbye to her. If she ever saw Bishop again she wouldn't know what to say, (Y/N) didn't even know if Talia was aware that she was alive.

But there were also things she had gained that she never had before. Harper, Nolan, Chen. The three of them had bonded quickly over various topics. Harper knew what it was like to come back from undercover work, how hard the adjustment was. Nolan's empathy and understanding provided comfort she struggled to get anywhere else.

And with Chen, the two talked about Tim; it was nice to know that he was okay when she was gone. He never really opened up about their time apart but Lucy had provided him with support. (Y/N) was forever grateful. But she was also determined; determined to never lose again.

Her thoughts were so consumed with what she had and what she was putting up at stake, she barely noticed that Grey had begun to give out the initial assignments. Lopez and West were going to go over the initial case file, to see if there was anymore influence from Rosalind that could have been missed. Harper and Nolan were going to go to the Central California Women's Correctional Facility to question the Warden about Dyer's communications and habits. She just about caught Grey giving out her own assignment "...and Detective Bradford is going to go see Kade Sullivan. If our theory is correct, and Sullivan is involved somehow, he will want to seek her out. Tim, you go with her as a lookout only."

"What? No!" Tim protested, horrified at the idea of leaving (Y/N) alone with someone who could have potentially caused her so much grief and torment. "I'm going with her."

"Be happy I've put you on surveillance. I can easily have you and Harper switch assignments." Grey rebutted. "You are not to get involved unless Detectie Bradford explicitly asks for it. Is that understood?"

Tim pursed his lips in frustration. He trusted (Y/N) with every fibre of his being but he couldn't stand the idea of this going wrong. The thing is, he didn't trust himself not to get involved if he saw things going downhill. Gritting his teeth, he responded. "Send Harper."

----------

Where there once stood a dingy and rundown house, stood a home that had received thousands of dollars of TLC. Rotting wood had been replaced, foundations rebuilt, dead plants now blossoming. There was no indication that this house had been in disrepair, bordering on inhabitable.

(Y/N) turned her head, eyes settling on the car Harper was in down the street, reassuring herself that she was no longer alone in this game. Her heart rushed at the realisation truly settled in, seeing Sullivan again would fully put her as well as every other officer at the Mid-Wilshire precinct into a battle of survival, one where there could only be one winner.

She knocked three times before taking a step back. She stood tall, hoping that her stance showed confidence and unwavering determination, things she was definitely not feeling right now. Still she took a deep breath, unclenched her jaw and waited.

She did not have to wait for long though, it was less than a minute before the door swung open on, showing her former case worker staring at her, unmoving, unblinking. His jaw was slightly lowered, the only movement he had was a slight twitch in his right hand.

(Y/N) swallowed her nervousness down, "Sullivan, can I come in?"

"You were missing." Sullivan seemingly snapped back to life. He stuck his head out of the house, looking up and down the street for any visible observers before moving to let (Y/N) into the house as he continued to speak. "Come in, come in."

"I'm not here for a social call."

He moved into the kitchen, offering (Y/N) a cup of tea. He pottered around, trying not to seem as shaken as his initial reaction. "You were never the type anyway. But what are you doing here, last I heard was that you had fallen off the grid. No trace, nothing. Did you not think how worried I would be, and what about that husband of yours?"

"He's not important." (Y/N) lied, going over the story her and Harper had agreed for her to tell. She knew that Harper was listening in over her wire but she still hated the way it felt to lie about Tim. "He's moved on. Probably staying with me out of pity; I made my peace with that."

"Then why are you here," Sullivan passed (Y/N) a cup of tea, "I mean, don't get me wrong I'm thrilled that you are okay. I was so worried but you wouldn't be here if you thought that everything was going fine."

She placed the mug down without a sip, her hand slipping over the edge of the counter as she did so. "I recently got Regina Diaz arrested. She's awaiting trial; no way she's getting off easy. I just came by to say I was okay, I'm no longer in danger."

"That's good, I'm glad."

"Me too." (Y/N) looked round the room. There wasn't a single inkling that someone lived here full time, the only mess was from the drinks Sullivan just made, the rest was immaculate. Nothing was out of place, as was what she had seen of the rest of the house. "I best be off. I don't need to keep you only longer. It was good to see you."

Sullivan held his hand out for (Y/N) to shake. "You too. Let me see you out."

----------

(Y/N) looked at the road ahead as Nyla drove back to the station. With the bug (Y/N) planted in the kitchen, the transmission would already be recording, they just had to hope that it would pick up any conversations Sullivan had, enough for a warrant.

As the city passed her by, she could feel Nyla passing a glance at her every so often. Her gaze was heavy, she could feel it pressing down on her. Eventually, (Y/N) had had enough of the silence. "You know you can just say it."

"It isn't true." Nyla softly said, considering each word as she spoke. "What you said before. He didn't stay out of pity. I hope you know that."

"Yeah, I do, but..." (Y/N) shook her head, stopping herself.

Nyla pulled the car over, parking at before turning to look at (Y/N), giving the detective her full attention. "But what?"

"Sometimes I think it would just be easier if he had moved on. I've dragged you all into my mess."

"This isn't your fault. And I can't speak for everyone else, but you didn't drag me into anything." Nyla sighed, she didn't often provide comfort, it wasn't something she excelled at but she could relate. She knew how (Y/N) felt. "Look, I haven't known you as long as some of the others, but you aren't but you aren't a lost cause, and you gotta stop this self-doubt thing you got going on. You're stuck in the past and I get that but you have a family at that station a family willing to fight this with you. Let them, let us help."

(Y/N) closed her eyes, blinking away the small tears that had formed at Nyla's words. Silently, she nodded at the woman, letting her know that she was okay. "Thank you."

"Now, I mean this in the nicest way possible. Get a grip, we have a job to do."

(Y/N) hummed. "Let's go."

Chapter 24 | Chapter 26

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