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#whether you ship them or not you KNOW i’m right.
latrodectal · 4 months
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“im so normal over them” i say as i lay hunched over my ipad furiously scribbling away “i am soooo normal over them”
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Platonic Yandere Sea Monster
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The ocean is a dangerous entity 
Known for her high waves, immeasurable depths, and eternal mysteries
She entices millions into her cold embrace every day
Many of whom are devoured by said mysteries leaving no trace
One of its greatest mysteries is a creature who’s been roaming beneath the surface of the earth for eons
So it truly is a special occasion that Maelstrom breaks this streak for a feast on a private yacht 
It’s far too easy how this new (to him) bipedal species gawks and helplessly flails while he sucks the bones out of their soft skin
He doesn’t care for the soft innards that the skin holds 
He does like how their screams gurgle and warble as he delights in their crunchy bones
So he makes it his mission to devour or turn into water 
And he’s sure that he’s done so with all of the little crunchy snack bags on the ship
Until he’s led into a cramped little closet with a tiny version of the springy boxes he’d found before
On it was a wailing babe—you
Now that he’s recognized 
Because for all the different species evolution has brought it a crying infant was a common denominator
And you were crying hard
Whether you were the sibling or offspring of some ill-thinking teen or an overworked employee of the crew the one who was going to care for you was gone
And Maelstorm knew that
On the account that he’s certain he’d still be hearing your incessant crying on the entirely silent yacht, he molds his water-like body into something more like the ‘human skin bags’ 
Letting his face bulge and bubble with the vague memory of his meal’s screaming faces until you stop crying
“There…there…my pearl.”
It’s been so long since he’s been awake to have a pet 
Surely it won’t be too hard
…right?
“Aaaaghh!”
“You’re not hungry, you’re not sleepy, you’ve already gone to the bathroom! WHAT IS IT!?”
He’s never been so stressed out 
Stressed out trying to stop your little face from contorting anymore as you empty your little lungs and exhaust your little vocal cords
He eventually decides he does need help and uses one of the less rotted bodies to go on land and learn among these skin bags so that he knows what to do
“Oh poor sir looks like they’re just hungry for some warm hugs.”
“Is that…really all?”
“Why of course! Babies really hinge on your emotions and attention.”
After he takes in the ‘nurse’s’ wisdom he begins to feel something new 
Something full of jealousy that has him snatching your swaddled form before giving a light pat that turns her into a puddle on the floor
Maelstorm easily finds another skin-bag with a nice face to take the body of 
Leaving with a skip in his step while the ‘skin-bags’ authorities baffled over the only remnant of a missing ‘nurse’
“I see now to avoid this awful feeling I must make sure all my affection is being given to my pearl.”
From there you can be sure that you’re entire life will be filled with Maelstorm learning about the negative emotions he can get as you grow
True there will be many positive feelings 
But he learns that to protect those precious new feelings 
Barricading you on abandoned ships and attacking all the skin-bags that come to keep it that way
And even when you grow into the adults he’d previously snacked on
He won’t completely leave humans alone
He pulls back on this snacking habit only because he sees more of you in them
But he’s not going to stop eating them 
Especially when he finds your attention drifting from him as you crave more socialization 
“As far as I’m concerned all we need is each other. Now do I have to eat this entire village or will you go back to our boat?”
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arijackz · 7 months
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PICK A CARD: What You're Walking Away From and What You're Walking Toward
⚸ "Just like moons and like suns, with the certainty of tides, just like hopes springing high, still I’ll rise." —Maya Angelou
Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. I wish you love and light through this renewing period. <3
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p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4
♦︎ Pile One ♦︎ (3oP, 2oS rev., the tower, the star)
⚄ The cards are taking a while to come out, I feel like whatever seeds you’re planting, the bulk of the work is being done internally, subconsciously, or in your sleep. ⚄ With the three of pentacles,  you are reevaluating the role your social connections play in your life and how exactly they’ll fit into the puzzle pieces of your future. For most of you, these are friendships. A few of you, romantic relationships. Another subset of you, there is an emphasis on the relationships you've built with the people you share a common goal with. This can be for work, clubs, hobbies, etc. ⚄ You are moving out of 5th house-type friendships (here for a good time, not a long time) and entering 7th and 11th house partnerships. These unions go beyond just having fun. Deep connections are developed so you can have a support team to lean on during the upcoming highs and lows of the 6th, 8th, and 10th house. They hold more significance and the people who reside in this area of your life should be thoroughly vetted. ⚄ Two of swords rev., you are battling with an internal decision regarding the company you keep and struggling to center yourself.  This tower moment is forcing you to vet. To take action. Reflect on whether these people help fulfill your life purpose and achieve your goals or just hinder them. Reassess your relationships according to what you want out of life. ⚄ I was trying to keep this pac short and down to 3 cards. But apparently not?? The star just flipped out, reaffirming that there's a lot of good shit in the works. Stepping away from certain people will align you with the next phase of your life. Bigger and better is coming in. Some of you are settling in relationships in fear of being alone. ⚄ Staying with connections you have outgrown will leave you stagnant. The universe has big plans in store for you, your life is going to take off soon. It will not wait for your friends to hop aboard the ride. You cannot take everyone with you. Your relationships are coming into question because the universe is doing some pruning for you. ⚄ I see people “jumping ship”, maybe you feel the people around you are not there for you during your rough patches? Yeah, connections built on shallow foundations are dissolving.  ⚄ The king of cups popped up out of nowhere. You are falling out of alignment with the people you’re with and leaving them will push you towards kinder souls who are more emotionally nurturing.  ⚄ Mercurial, Uranian, and lil bit of Jupitarian energy. I’m talking directly to you Virgo, Gemini, Aquarius, and Pisces placements. I call you out with love of course. This is my sidereal big 3 after all<3 ⚄ The star is a very hopeful card, filled with excitement and abundance. You are driving on the road to your destiny. There are only a few seats left in the car, choose wisely. ⚄ Advice: Have faith in your intuition and discernment. I say this in every pac lmao. You’re definitely on the right path (you’re leading up to the star), but this transitioning period is going to be uncomfortable because you are leaving connections behind. When we exit our comfort zones and leave people, we tend to gaslight ourselves and downplay the situation or allow fear to derail our judgment. You are too close to your dreams to let old connections hold you back. You have a deep knowing that these connections will not survive the ride to the top, listen to your intuition and let go of what is no longer serving you. Be selfish if need be.
I only bark once.
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♦︎ Pile Two ♦︎ (temperance, the magician, the hermit, knight of swords)
⚄ I felt a puff of air in my left eye. The left side of the body is traditionally associated with the intuitive and receptive feminine. You are in a waiting period right now and are receiving intuitive downloads and messages. Your connection to the metaphysical is strengthening. Be inquisitive at this time and assess your life in a higher light, you are being blessed with the ability to see the hidden and the unforeseen.  The synchronicities you are seeing right now are not a coincidence. (Extra confirmation if you’re seeing repetitive 3’s, 5’s, 8’s, triangles, stars, and the infinity symbol)
⚄ Lmfao I was planning on only pulling three cards but the life you’re sowing right now is HUGE. 3 major arcanas back to back and then a court card?? You are being prepped for a whirlwind of adventure. You’re in your own world fucking COOKING.
⚄ The slow period you’re in is forcing you to build a foundation of balance, patience, and introspection. Boring. I know. But it is crucial to your development. I said it best in my last pac so i’ll say it again here, Whatever you build in this lifetime will be built slowly and have a solid foundation because your legacy is meant to withstand the test of time and last long after you leave this Earth. This period you’ve spent waiting is you getting your ducks in a row and sowing your seeds for the next evolution of you.
⚄ Shoutout to my Pisceans and Saturnians. If you have resonated with this so far, definitely go check out pile 4 of my ✩Glow Up✩ pac because there are a lot of gems in there for you.
⚄ You are creating your future reality in this introspective period. I feel for a lot of you, your self-work is centered around deconstructing the old perception of yourself and building your identity up from scratch. You are either beginning, in the heat of, or ending a long period of self-discovery and establishing your self-esteem.
⚄ With the knight of swords at the end of the spread, you are approaching the end of the tunnel with renewed vigor and resolute faith in your capabilities. I’m seeing your life in reference to that religious story, (Lord forgive me, I am telling it wrong and forgot the details 😭) where the man gets locked in a cave and starved, expected to either be dead or too feeble by the time his sentence is over. Instead, he comes out stronger than ever and with twice the unwavering spirit he had before his time in the cave.
⚄ This is what’s happening to you, you are finding inner strength and willpower that is going to propel you forward in your destiny. And you will not fail. It’s not even possible, the resolve you’ve built for yourself will carry you faithfully through all the bullshit life will throw at you.
⚄ Advice: None. You got this in the bag,just remember that you only lose battles when you retreat. The energy you’re cultivating for your near future is the knight of swords, a character who will never retreat. Therefore, you will never truly lose.
"I was born underwater with three dollars and six dimes"
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♦︎ Pile Three ♦︎ (9oS, the hanged man, 6oS, 10oW)
⚄ Off the bat, you need to surrender any hangups you have surrounding your future. I picture your mind running 24/7 telling you all the ways you’ll fail as you work tirelessly. Or, you want so desperately to put your plans into action, but a buried subconscious fear prevents you from moving forward, adding more stress on your shoulders. It is weighing heavy on your mental health and causing severe anxiety that is inhibiting you from much-needed rest and healing. This is the season of surrender, it’s okay to let go and let the current wash you away. As soon as you release your fear of making mistakes, you’ll learn the flow of the waves.
⚄ Two of pentacles is at the bottom of the deck, I feel your stress stems from a fear of financial insecurity and the overwhelming pressure of having to plan a sustainable career yourself. A lot of your priorities in life are demanding your attention and it is becoming a heavy burden.
⚄ I am going to be blunt because I care. You gotta stop giving a fuck. Your anxieties are paralyzing you. You need to sip a little metaphorical “fuck it” juice. I am just now getting out of the mental space you’re in. The only thing that helped me step out of my fear-induced paralysis (which lasted a long and dark 6-years), was to reaffirm that no matter what decision I make, I will come out prosperous. In fact, the more you stress about the future and the more control you try to take, the further you push your desires away, which will only fuel your anxiety bugs.
⚄ Have faith that no matter where you land, you have the power to turn any less-than-ideal situation into something bountiful. The bird does not fear the branch breaking because it has faith in its wings. Not making a choice at all is worse than picking the wrong one. You’ll win some, you’ll lose some, all situations bear fruit, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. This too shall pass.
⚄ Advice: I know it is easier said than done, but ground yourself in the present. Release yourself from the worries of the future and the nightmares of the past. Stop stressing about upcoming due dates while you eat and stop reaming yourself for past mistakes while you’re out with friends. Tune yourself into what is happening before your very eyes.  Turn your brain off and mindlessly do something. Anything that brings your attention to the present. Don’t even worry about being productive. Watch tv, color, dance, cook, anything but sitting and stressing. This sounds crazy to say in today’s work culture but trust me, stressing about being productive or pushing yourself to “grind” will be your downfall. Your body needs to regulate. With the six of swords, you have to make the conscious decision to walk away (stop stressing and allow the situation to run its course) from what is mentally plaguing you. These are the seeds you’re sowing, you are on the path of releasing your burdens. I’m proud, we can do this!
"Mom, Meet Mary Jane the Milf!"
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(representative of the whole relax message in your pile. i had fun making the board, this is not an endorsement.)
♦︎ Pile Four ♦︎ (6oS, king of pentacles, 7oP, 5op)
⚄ Cards went a lil buckwild here. There are a lot of pentacles in this spread, I feel like you are dissolving a lack mindset. What you desire and your perspective of success is evolving. You are stepping out of a false idea of wealth. You might have had a habit of undermining the talents and resources you have and comparing them to what others have.
⚄ This is my doomscroll pile. My silly little rotters. Looking at people with nice things and thinking why can’t I have that? Looking at attractive people and going I’ll never be as pretty as them, I am cursed with these looks. Looking at people who showcase their talents and saying, oh I could never do that, they’re so much better than me.
⚄ You are realizing just how harmful these thoughts have been to you. You had curated a mindset that would have you look at people and then immediately place yourself as inferior to them in some way. This shapes a reality where you feel constantly inadequate, thus always in need of something. This constant feeling of need prevents you from seeing the resources you already have within and building off of those.
⚄ Congratulations, you are stepping away from that lack energy. You’re beginning to see the value in yourself and redefining what it means to be prosperous. Now it's, Oooo, that girl looks so cool playing the bass, this encourages me, I bet I could learn an instrument too. Instead of, “Oh look, another person doing something with their life while I sit here and rot. What is wrong with me, why can’t I be as cool as them.”
⚄ Do you see how the latter self-talk is just draining the life out of you? It sets you up for failure before you can even try. 
⚄ When I say a false idea of wealth, I mean the superficial things you believed would bring you fulfillment. When you were in that dark space, you looked at pretty girls and believed that if you looked like them or got the attention they got, you would finally be happy. Now, you’re on a journey of discovering things more sincere to your identity to find fulfillment in.
⚄ You are discovering your interests, hobbies, etc. Anything that boosts your self-esteem and gives you a sense of value. You are about to fall in love with yourself and all the endless capability of creation you hold.
⚄ Advice: Comparison is the thief of joy. Unfortunately, with social media, every day is a pissing contest about who can have the most and be the best. I’d bet money that the most attractive, smartest, and most talented person you know is sizing up the person next to them and getting a false sense of satisfaction or self-hate. Don’t fall into that. Break the societal cycle and look inward for satisfaction. Compete with yourself. Be the only person you are trying to impress.
There is beauty in my unraveling
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Let me know what piles you pick!
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schrijverr · 8 months
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Batman Pulling Out the Thumb to Get the Schmutz Off
Nightwing is late to a meeting due to an exploding building. Batman goes to check him over, licking his thumb to clean his face. As Nightwing complains about it, they learn that no one realized that Batman is his dad.
Based on this post.
On AO3.
Ships: none
Warnings: none
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“Sorry, I’m late, there was an explosion on the way here I had to deal with,” Nightwing interrupts the start of the annual review meeting of the Justice League.
“It’s alright,” Superman smiles kindly. “Is everything okay in Blüdhaven? If you need to go back to help, we won’t stop you.”
“Nah, it’s okay, Blüd isn’t new to explosions here and there. Thank you, though,” Nightwing assures him.
Before he can go and take his seat so they can resume the meeting, everyone gets jump-scared by Batman, who suddenly appears next to Nightwing. Not many had noticed him anxiously watching the door for the past ten minutes and how he was not playing attention to the meeting, instead listening to someone on his coms.
They watch in confusion as he wordlessly, tugs Nightwing towards him, before starting to check him over, like he sometimes does with victims they’ve saved.
Before anyone can ask what’s happening, Nightwing rolls his eyes, saying: “I’m okay, I’m okay, it wasn’t anything big, you know. Just a warning to between gangs that one was entering another’s turf. Just the usual minor stuff, you know?” Nightwing surprisingly isn’t fighting Batman’s weird overbearing checking, just letting him move him about, even though he’s usually incredibly stubborn around getting injured.
Everyone watches the two with confusion, the meeting even more interrupted than it already was. A few are starting to wonder if anything happened to Batman, but no one is sure how to interrupt tactfully, since the two seem close all of a sudden.
“You were still nearly caught up in it,” Batman says, voice low. It would almost sound like a threat or reproach, if it weren’t for how gentle his hands are being.
“I know exploding warehouses are touchy, but I’m totally fine,” Nightwing assures him. “Didn’t even touch me.”
Batman pokes his ribs and he flinches away slightly. Batman says: “Bruised ribs say it did.”
“It’s nothing,” Nightwing huffs, batting Batman’s hands away, apparently having decided that enough is enough. It’s the most normal thing he’s done yet, though it immediately gets weird again when he sulkily adds: “And you only know that, because O told you.”
“No,” Batman says, taking off his glove – a thing that has never happen before, because their resident Bat is paranoid about someone stealing his fingerprints – before licking his thumb. He brings it up to Nightwing’s face and starts rubbing at his face, admonishing: “I know, because you always forget your jaw when cleaning off soot.”
Again, Nightwing bats Batman’s hand away, but this time he whines: “Daaaaad.”
He sounds embarrassed, but the Justice League doesn’t really care about whether or not having your dad clean your face as an adult is embarrassing, because they’re still wrapping their heads around the fact that Nightwing just called Batman dad.
Dad.
While Robin calls the man father sometimes, both he and Red Robin are always nothing but professional when in the field with the older heroes. And Batman is always professional back. He never lets paternal feelings slip through in public.
So, to suddenly see it play out how Batman would be as a father – with someone they didn’t know was related to him and without introduction to the concept – is quite the shock.
Seemingly oblivious to most of the Justice League around them blue-screening, Nightwing finally manages to wrangle Batman away from him, saying: “I’m too old for this. Go clean Robin’s face.”
Then, right as they think they’ve gathered themselves, Batman replies sadly: “Soon you’re all going to be too old for this,” sounding genuinely heartbroken at the thought.
Nightwing winces, then goes to comfort the older vigilante, patting his back as he says: “Ahw, don’t mope, B. We’re never going to be too old for you embarrassing us in front of everyone.”
Weirdly enough that seems to comfort Batman, who gives Nightwing a final one over, before being satisfied. Then he turns back and says: “Apologies for the interruption, Superman. Please, continue.”
“Wait, hold on just a second here,” Flash says. “You’re Nightwing’s dad?”
“Yes?” Batman replies, his voice giving away that that is obvious. Even going so far as to share a look with Nightwing that screams ‘what the fuck are they on about’ as if the League is being weird instead of them.
“Since when?” Flash exclaims.
“Since I was nine,” Nightwing exclaims back, throwing his hands up. “You know me, uncle Flash. Me and Walls were in YJ together. What the fuck?”
“He never mentioned a Nightwing,” Flash frowns, trying to go through the rolodex of friends his cousin brought around to see who matches up.
“Oh my god, of course not. I used to be Robin, don’t you know that?” Nightwing rolls his eyes, exasperated. A beat of silence. “Okay, wow, so you all didn’t know that.” He turns to Batman and asks: “Why didn’t they know that?”
“You wanted to be your own hero. Besides, if we had a connection, it could be used against us,” Batman replies, not even having the decency to sound apologetic about hiding it.
Nightwing facepalms at that, before taking a calming breath. Meanwhile, everyone else is on the edge of their seat to see how Batman will react to that blatant disrespect. Many of them have never dared to try.
Batman doesn’t react, just stands there as Nightwing says: “B, we had a talk about your paranoia. I get it, but this is unnecessary. Most of them already knew me before I joined.”
“It was more a lie by omission, not a true attempt at obfuscating,” Batman argues and it’s almost a little childish sounding. What the hell has today been? Are they in an alternate dimension? Again.
“Please tell me you have not been omitting my horde of siblings,” Nightwing asks, sounding a little strained as he steeples his hands in front of his lips.
“Siblings?” Superman asks cautiously. “Like Robin and Red Robin? We know them. Not really a horde, but…”
“Oh my fucking god,” Nightwing exclaims. “B!”
“They never asked,” Batman defends himself.
“Okay, I’m getting kind of scared now, define a horde,” Green Lantern interjects cautiously, taking one for the team.
“Do not,” Batman warns, but Nightwing ignores him as he starts listing on his fingers: “Well, obviously there is me, then there’s Red Robin and Robin, you know them. You have Red Hood, Black Bat, and Signal. Oracle, Spoiler and Bluebird are kind of honorary siblings. Batwoman is our aunt and Batwing kind of the uncle slash cousin and Flamebird is also our cousin.”
“What the hell, Spooky!”
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olderthannetfic · 2 months
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I just have to say, I don’t like the internet’s recent obsession with labeling everyone, but right now it’s the proship vs anti. I don’t know which side I fall on but I don’t know how to say that without getting someone mad at me. I don’t like to see proship content and I have filters on so that I don’t see it, but I also understand that it has the right to exist and that policing what people post on the internet is stupid and gatekeepy. And I also know that saying that publicly could lead to me getting doxxed or some shit like that.
I guess the main reason why I’m venting about this now is because an anon just asked whether I was proship or anti because apparently I had reblogged a post that says “proshippers dni”, even though I have no idea when I did that and can’t find the post because tumblr’s search bar is shit. I know that this anon, whoever it is, is a proshipper, but I also know that some of my mutuals are antis, and whichever label I put on myself will probably end up losing me at least one mutual and I just don’t know what to do. Is saying that I don’t care about the labels a valid option in this situation? I don’t know what to do.
I’m sorry for venting in your inbox, I just had to get this off my chest. You don’t have to respond if you don’t want to.
--
Oh for fuck sake.
First of all, stop spreading the nonsense that antis promote, which is that "proship" means "problematic ship" and/or is a label for dark content.
The term originates as "I'm not an anti" and refers to the overall stance that dark stuff has a right to exist whether or not you personally like it.
In other words, your stance.
Second, man up and say what you think. If people are dickheads about it, block them and tell them how inappropriate bullying is. The fact that most people go "Oooh, I don't know where I staaaand" is exactly why bullies are allowed to run rampant through our communities.
Do you think I don't get threats by leaving anon on to make my inbox safe for you? Of course I do! But I get far fewer than I would if I acted spineless.
If you have mutuals who are truly antis, it's time they learned that they'll lose nice and reasonable friends by being harassing assholes who believe fairy tales about video games causing violence or the sexy equivalent.
--
Say "I think these terms are both dumb. I believe dark fiction has a right to exist, but I don't want to see it. If you think it's okay to harass real people to "protect" fictional characters, you are a terrible person. I don't need a label to say I'm anti-censorship and anti-bullying."
If anyone wants to cry about that, they suck and you should remove them from your life.
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heartsforseo · 6 months
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Luffy x jealous reader
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A/n: All of these are just fiction. You are pretty, lovely, and beautiful <?33 Word count: 600 Request are open Warning: insecure reader but Luffy is beige so he comforts u
ft: Luffy, Boa
Requested: <yes> <no>
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You love Luffy, you really do. But God, he’s so dense it hurts. Right now, he’s being fed by none other than the Kuja Empress herself, Boa Hancock. She even learned how to cook meat, just for Luffy!
Yeah, you can stand your ground in terms of attractiveness. But with the most beautiful woman? Yeah no, you’d wither away like a speck of dust.
You’re glad that Boa finds Luffy attractive. But at the same time sad. Luffy is handsome and strong. It makes sense that he’ll need a partner that can be on his level. And well, you’re quite far from it.
It doesn’t help that Luffy is oblivious to all this! Yes, Luffy is way smarter than he looks. And yes, he can be serious sometimes. But what does he know about love? He’s like a newborn child when it comes to it. If it weren’t for Robin pushing him to confess, you would’ve imploded!
It also doesn’t help that when the pirate empress first saw you, she was…disgusted. And when she looked back at Luffy, her heart and eyes went back. Not to mention, you also had a lesser portion of food being given to you.
Finally having enough, you left the scene and went back to you and Luffy’s shared room. You contemplated whether to just sleep at the ship for the rest of the week or stay in the castle.
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You lay down on the futon, looking at the blank ceiling. Light filled the corner of your eyes. Standing there was Luffy and meat in his mouth.
He entered the room and closed the door. The two of you were silent, and an uncomfortable aura filled the area. Luffy swallowed the meat whole and then spoke, “Are you ok, Y/n?” You shifted your body and positioned it to stare at Luffy. “Of course, why would you think that?”
He tilted his head to the side and crossed his arms, “Well you seemed down when we were eating…was it because I stole all your food?!” He laughed, “You gotta be quick next time, Y/n.”
“I guess so,” you said. Your voice was dry and had no feelings. You shifted your weight back to your original position, and once again, looked at the ceiling.
Luffy frowned at your reaction and used his gum-gum fruit to snatch you out of the bed.
You gave out a little squeak and gasped, “Luffy!”
“Are you mad at me, Y/n?” He asked, pouting, “I’ll try not to steal your food anymore, ok?”
You smiled a bit from his gestures, “I’m not mad at you, Luffy. Just tired.”
“Really? But we’re having fun downstairs.”
“Well, you can go back down, Luffy. I’m not gonna stop you.”
Luffy looked at you for a while and finally spoke, “Nah.” He held your bridal style and went to the futon. He put the two futons close together and dropped you on top.
“Luffy?”
“Sanji said that if a woman is sad then you should spend time with them. So, I’m gonna cuddle with you tonight, Y/n!” He gave you a flashy smile and wrapped his rubber arms around you three times.
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Morning came and you woke up from the sun shining on your eyes. You looked beside you and noticed Luffy still asleep, his hair was a mess, his mouth was wide open, and his arms were tightly wrapped around you.
You blushed from what you remembered last night and opted to wake up Luffy. But, you never had a day as peaceful as this. And so, you went back from your sleep and embraced him, once again.
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A/n: I just want to let you all know THIS is just a fictional story. You are of course perfect just the way you are <?33
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delirious-donna · 8 months
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Soft [Kakashi Hatake]
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an: based on some thoughts I had after seeing this beautiful art of Mr Hatake looking a little more soft in physique.
pairing: Kakashi Hatake x female reader
warnings: self ship coded, established relationship with mentions of marriage and a child, rokudaime Kakashi au, fluff, flirting, suggestive at best, body positivity, reader is assumed to be curvy
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Kakashi is a strong man. He always has been and probably always will, if he has any say in the matter. However, gone are the days when the defined ridges of his abdominals could cut glass.
The dips of his Adonis belt are less pronounced, and his biceps are still large but not carved from marble as they were even five years ago. A lot had changed but that’s life, and in the end, contentment brought him here.
Gone were the days when he could work out for hours in the early morning, greeting the new day covered in sweat on his way to a much-needed shower before the working day began. Now he had responsibilities to tend to and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
A wife to rouse from slumber, a hard task at the best of times, and a son to watch like a hawk as he propels through the house like a mini tornado with an eye for destruction. There were breakfasts to be made, lunches to be prepped, hair to be wrestled into some semblance of neatness and kisses to be shared. Wet kisses pressed messily to his cheek from his son as he heads out for work. Lingering kisses with his beloved that make him stay a few seconds longer just to taste you thoroughly.
Your love never wavered for the silver-haired shinobi, and even now as darker grey peppers throughout the messy strands, you still found them as enticing to run your fingers through as you always had. Age was especially kind to Kakashi, the lines around his eyes were from laughter and not stress and the weight of his responsibilities no longer dragged down his shoulders and slumped his spine.
It was amazing how easy it was to deal with the daily grind that accompanied his role when he knew he would return to the love and warmth that was his home. Everything was easier when love was in the mix, who knew?
So yes, he wasn’t as trim anymore. There was a slight pudge to his stomach and you could grab a good portion of his sides in the midst of being railed into the mattress, but fuck, was it sexy.
The silver hairs that formed his happy trail now extended higher towards his belly button and his butt hugged his sweatpants a little tighter and fuller than before. You had never shied away from the attraction you felt for him, but now it made Kakashi chuckle when you eyed him like some tasty treat to be devoured whole.
“See something you like, sweetheart?”
“Damn right, I do. When did you start getting even more handsome? Should be criminal this late in life.”
He huffed a laugh, eyes narrowing at your teasing words and the insinuation that he was getting on in years. He was still in the prime of his life, far from past it and he’d remind you of that.
“Well…” he murmured against the shell of your ear. “You know how fond I am of your softness.” Kakashi trailed his calloused fingertips over the gentle swell of your stomach, stopping to massage your hips and waist. “Thought you’d like to snuggle with someone a little less unyielding.”
How quickly your hands wandered across the expanse of his strong abdomen, a fingertip tracing the muscles. A familiar melody forced his eyelids to droop low, the hum in your throat as enchanting as the very first time he heard it.
You took your time in exploring a body you were intimately familiar with, pawing at him like the needy feline you always were until two strong arms banded around your waist.
“I might be a little more soft, but I’m still the man you fell for and I can still carry you to the bedroom with ease.”
Your chin dipped in agreement, gaze lifting to meet the desire swirling in his charcoal eyes. “Your heart has always been soft, Kakashi, whether you knew it or not. Your body simply matches it now and I’ll love you no matter what shape you take.”
493 notes · View notes
lumiolivier · 27 days
Text
Feel Better, Sweetheart
Series: One Piece
Chapter: One Shot
Word Count: 2296
Rating: T
Pairing(s): Law x Reader (YN)
You're not feeling too hot...It's a good thing the doctor's cute...but he's also mean. And means well.
“YN?” You knew right then and there.  That gentle, yet viciously biting voice floating through the air that could warm and chill all the same.  You were screwed.  You were hard at work, finishing up some paperwork for the Polar Tang.  Just some logistical things.  Mostly the grocery list for the next time you were at port.  But that was the funny thing…
You were supposed to be in bed already.  You were supposed to have those blankets pulled up to your chin while you slept on your stomach as ordered.  Instead, you were still hard at work.  Despite your violent chills that froze you to the bone, hoarse cough that rattled both your chest and the entire ship every time it came out, and thousand pound head that was just about to the point where it distorted your vision.  You could hardly see straight and yet, you pressed on with all of your regular administrative duties.  Even though it went against both doctor’s and captain’s orders…And you were about to reap what you’ve sown.
“Captain…” You sat up to the best of your ability.  Although it felt like someone was twisting your spine as hard as they could.  You knew mistakes were made.  And you were about to get viciously rammed for them.
“What are you doing in here?” Law asked, leaning against the doorway, his steely gaze glaring you down.  Oh, yeah.  You’re definitely screwed.
“I…” You could hardly speak.  Your voice was shot.  Violent coughing fits did that to you, “I was working on…”
“You were working?” Oh, yeah.  You’re absolutely screwed.  And a pissed off Trafalgar Law was not something you wished on your worst enemies…Well, maybe a few.  But like this?  Oh, no.
“It still needs to get done, Law,” you rolled your eyes.  Although, you immediately regretted it.  You could’ve easily thrown up right then and there.  But you held it back.  Not in front of Law.  You knew the kind of disaster that would breed.
“You do know,” Law moved closer to you.  Granted, under any other circumstances, with that same fire in his eyes, you’d be sweating.  And in a much better way than you sweating out a fever, “I have Penguin and Shachi down here, right?  That they’ve been more than capable of picking up your slack, right?  That you’re supposed to be in bed when you’re this sick, right?  Not just because you need the rest, but so you’re not infecting the rest of the ship, right?”
“I know.” But…Did you?  Did you really?  Of course not.  You were a vicious workaholic and Law knew that the day he brought you onto the Polar Tang.  And yet…You come down with something and all of a sudden, he seems to forget that, “But…!”
“No.”
“Law…”
“Don’t you Law me,” Law groaned, “Go.  Bed.  Now.”
“Fine,” you caved, “But let me finish up with-”
“YN…” Law held his face in his hands.  He knew he’d have to do it the hard way.  Whether you liked it or not, “You’re not finishing anything.  You’re going to go to bed.  I’m going to have Bepo watching the door, so I don’t have to worry about you.”
“Law…”
“No,” Law didn’t even think twice.  He scooped you up and threw you over his shoulder.  It was like carrying nothing for him and yet, he carried his everything.
“Law!” You flailed, kicking yourself into another coughing fit.  And you fell limp in his arm.
“You were saying?” You hated when Law got smug.  When you could hear the I told you so in his voice.  When you wanted to lock him in a room in the Polar Tang all by himself and tell him to open a window.  But you knew he meant well.  He always meant well when it came to you.  Especially when you were as sick as you were.
“I told you,” you could finally catch your breath again.  And Law paraded you down the hall to your room, “I still have, cough, cough, shit to do.”
“And I told you.” Or so you thought he was bringing you to your room.  Instead, he went down a few more doors and into his own room, “You need the rest, YN.  You know I wouldn’t be doing this unless you had me worried.  And right now, you do.  There’s a reason why I was keeping you from work.  You don’t need to be wasting your energy on us right now.  You need to get better.  And you’re not going to do that with your face buried in paperwork.  Do you understand?”
You hated when Law babied you.  When he treated you like you were made out of sugar.  You were more than capable of getting better and getting your work done.  But in your defense, you were also getting worse as the days went by and Law had to manhandle you onto his bed.  When he got you tucked in, you started to see his perspective much clearer, “Yes, Captain.”
“Hey,” Law sat at the edge of his bed and pulled you into his lap, “No need to be so formal, sweetheart.  It’s just you and me.  And I know this shit’s rough, but you’ll get over it.  And when you do, we’ll all be waiting for you.  But we also deserve you at your best.  Got it?”
“Fine,” you fell limp in Law’s bed and nuzzled into his thigh, “Hey, Law?”
“Hmm?” Law pushed your hair out of your face, “What do you need?”
“I, uh…” you bit your lip, knowing the further ass reaming you were about to get, “I’m a little hungry.  Do you think you could get me something to eat?”
“I’m just glad your appetite’s coming back,” Law kissed your forehead, “Of course.  Tell you what.  I’ll even make it myself if I have…Hold on.”
And there it was.  There was the sudden realization that would make Law want to kill you even more.  You braced yourself for impact, “What?”
“YN…” Law sighed out, “Have you eaten anything today?”
“You said it yourself, Law,” you threw it back in his face, hoping that could serve as your armor, “My appetite’s been in and out since I’ve been sick.  Cut me some-”
“No.” Law refused to give you any slack.  But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy you were eating again, “Stay here.  If you even so much as move, I will know.  I’ll be right back.  This shouldn’t take long to make.  Ok?”
“Ok.” Not that you really had the energy to move anyway.  You were too wrecked to fight him anymore.  And the warmth in his bed was quite lovely…and it smelled nice, too.  Like sandalwood and leather.  With just a little bit of sea air.  You weren’t complaining.  However, you thought about taking a nap.  Until another coughing fit got to you.  And it rattled your chest like some manner of creature wanted to get out.  You’d be more than happy to let it out if you knew how.
“YN,” Law came in with a bowl in his hand and sat at the edge of his bed.  He put it down on the nightstand and helped you sit up a bit better.  Although, you still wanted to go to sleep.  For just a while. 
“Mmm…” you laid your head on Law’s thigh and shut your eyes.
“No, no,” Law nudged you up to his chest, “I just made you something to eat.  You’ve hardly eaten anything in days.  You’re eating.”
“Mmm…” Your stubbornness would put Law into an early grave.  But in your defense, you were sick.  You were already miserable.  Anything you could do to make yourself comfortable at this point, you were going to do it.  It was Law’s fault for taking you away from your desk.  You were perfectly fine…ish. 
“No,” Law grabbed the spoon out of your bowl and held it up to your mouth, “Eat, YN.”
Lazily, you wrapped your lips around the spoon and finally started eating.  Although, you weren’t expecting it to taste so good.  And a little spicy.  Not that you were mad about it, “What is that?”
“Cora-san called it a medicine ball,” Law sat you up a little more and continued to feed you, “When I’d get sick as a kid like you are now, he’d always get nervous.  So, the least he could do was feed me and keep me from starving to death.  But back when he was still with the Marines, half his platoon ended up coming down with the flu.  There was one who was visiting their base that week.  She made this for everyone.  They were down in the morning.  She fed them.  They were all good to go by the next morning.  And it worked for me when I was younger, too, so I don’t see why it wouldn’t work for you, too.”
It always warmed your heart to hear Law talk about Corazon.  But it broke you all the same that you’d never get to meet him, “What was her name?”
“I don’t remember,” Law thought back, “Belle…?  Bella…?  Something like that.  Rumor has it, she ended up lost at sea.  Cora-san said she was a nice lady.  Wouldn’t surprise me if there was a little something, something between them at some point.  That wasn’t the last time he talked about her.  The man had his moments when he was a hopeless romantic.  It’s weird to think about in hindsight, but whatever made him happy, I guess.”
“Actually…” You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but having Law spoon feeding you was doing something to your heart and soul.  You weren’t sure if it was the deep nostalgic connection or if it was something else.  The thought of being taken care of.  The thought of being up on that pedestal.  The thought of still being asleep at your desk and waking up just enough to realize you were being carried in Law’s arms, but asleep enough to stay that way.  Regardless of the psychological aspect of it, you were fighting back a smile with everything you had, “This is really good, Law.  I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome,” he spooned another bite of soup into your mouth and cradled your cheek in his palm, “I wish we had some bread, too.  Not that this won’t give you everything you need, but something more substantial in your stomach would be nice, too.”
“I’ll make some when I get better.”
“But,” Law put the bowl on the nightstand, “You need to get better first.  And you can’t do that if you’re busting your ass at your desk.  I’d rather not have to peel you off your chair again.  Or worse, from off the floor.  I don’t need you passing out on me, sweetheart.”
“Sorry…” You winced a bit as a jolt of pain ran through your head.
“No need for apologies now,” Law settled you, making sure you were covered up.  He checked you quickly for a fever.  The back of his hand on your forehead felt phenomenal, “Your fever’s still a little too high for my liking.  I’m going to go get you some medicine and then, I’ll let you get some sleep.  When was the last time you got a full, continuous eight hours?”
“Uh…” In all honesty, you couldn’t think of the last time you got decent sleep.  That may have attributed to your current predicament.  But you knew telling Law would just result in a verbal spanking and you didn’t have the lecture in you today, “I’m not entirely sure.  I’ve been sleeping, though!  Does that count for something?”
“More than it should,” Law knew better.  He knew your sleeping habits were…less than stellar.  And he’s tried.  Bless him, he’s tried to do everything in his power to try and get you on a normal sleeping schedule, but it’s only led to you spending more nights on watch duty than anything else, “Some sleep is better than no sleep, I suppose.  But you are going to sleep tonight.  I will make sure of it.”
“And how do you propose you’ll do that, Dr. Trafalgar?” you taunted him, knowing your body didn’t allow you much for sleep anyway, “Are you going to put me in a coma?”
“Why would I put you in a coma?” Law chuckled under his breath, “You forget where you are.  You’re in my bed.  And I know for a fact that if there’s anywhere on the entire ship you can sleep and sleep hard, it’s right here.  Once I give you your last dose of medicine for the night, I’ll risk myself getting sick for you getting a decent night’s sleep.  I will gladly share my bed with you.”
Although the sentiment was touching, you knew the real reason he was staying with you, “You just want to make sure I stay in bed like you told me to, don’t you?”
“I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t an ulterior motive,” Law confessed, already pulling you into his arms, “But I also can’t be too mad at this either.  I miss you, YN.  Sure, I’ve been taking care of you for the last couple days, but I miss you.  There’s a big difference between having you as my patient and having you as my girlfriend.  And I miss the latter.”
Law didn’t get sentimental often.  But hearing him pour his heart out…at least as much as Law could…melted you inside.  You laid your head in his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart, and you shut your eyes, “Ok.  Stay with me.”
“That’s the plan,” Law kissed the top of your head and pulled your blankets over you, “Good night, YN.  I love you…Feel better, sweetheart…”
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charliemwrites · 8 months
Text
I had a BRAIN BLAST on the way home today. So!
In the category of Readers Who Get To Do What They Want:
(CW for dark Simon, johnny, and “reader” with unhealthy relationship dynamics, gaslighting - not from who you suspect - and threats of violence)
A pair of identical twins who are basically opposites from birth. Twin 1 is obviously favored by their parents for being the “easy” twin that tries to appease them and keep the peace. Twin 2 a little hellion from birth, they think this kid is basically broken. Try to test for psychopathy but nope, their own kid has just picked up on the accidental favoritism from birth and just seems to dislike their own parents. But they still love their twin.
The twins grow up as complete opposites. Different social circles, hobbies, interests, clothes, attitudes. They’re incredibly close, but twin 2 will (and has) gotten violent on twin 1’s behalf because their parents are raising them to be “well behaved”.
By teen years, twin 2 is being sent to the countryside most summers to be handled by the grandparents. (Jokes on them, farmlife is nice and the grandparents aren’t exactly strict - mostly because twin 2 actually likes them and doesn’t see much need to rebel).
Meanwhile twin 1 is doing summer programs and learning arts, developing this intense aversion to conflict and has trouble standing up for themself. Especially without twin 2 there to lean on.
Come university, their parents insist on twin 1 staying close by for uni, essentially make the choice for them. Twin 2 decides to ship out of the country and plans on breaking off all contact. (Maybe due to some sort of unforgivable drama at the grandparents’ funeral?)
Before leaving, twin 2 gives twin 1 a burner phone with one number programmed in. Promises that if twin 1 ever needs to disappear, to be free of it all, they can call and twin 2 will be there in a heartbeat with bolt cutters for those chains. And then they just sort of… disappear.
Twin 1 doesn’t see them for *years*. Never uses that phone but keeps it.
So twin 1 lives their quaint pre-determined life with their acceptable job and it’s all mostly okay. Not bad at all. Quiet, if lackluster.
And then Simon comes along. Simon, who takes one look at this little angel and decides they have to be his. Theyre too good, too soft, unable to take care of themselves properly in this big scary world. And after all he’s suffered, doesn’t he deserve something sweet to protect? And hell, Johnny could use a kind touch every now and then too.
So he “seduces” twin 1 (aka, the dark!Simon move of just deciding someone is his and acting like it whether they like it or not). Manipulates them into stepping right into their own collar and leash, with him at the other end.
It’s too late by the time Twin 1 realizes what they’ve become - this man’s pretty pet. An agreeable little doll for him and his teammate to play house with. It’s not always bad, but it’s suffocating and scary. They feel trapped; they are.
It takes months until they get enough privacy to dig the old phone out of the place they nearly forgot about it.
Twin 2 picks up on the third ring.
In the intervening years, twin 2 has gotten into all sorts of trouble and mayhem. Become the demon their parents always accused them of being. Has, somehow along the way, joined up with KorTac and gotten all their files scrubbed. “Twin 2” no longer exists to the world at large. Nothing that anyone, even Kate Laswell, could dig up.
They get the call from their twin and break their contract on the spot. Get on a flight within hours. Sneak their twin out of the homey prison they’ve been locked up in.
Take twin 1 to a sunny, public cafe and get the story through their sibling’s nervous stuttering. Gets angrier and angrier with the more they hear, eyes fixated on the thin leather collar around their twin’s throat.
“Please just… I know it’s selfish and I’m sorry, but-”
Twin 2 already has a plan. They have a quiet, cozy cabin with comfortable funds in a rural part of Canada. Twin 1 will go there, rest and recover and be free. Twin 2 will take their place with Simon and Johnny to throw off suspicion and searches.
The scars from living the life they have? No worries. twin 2 will stage a car accident, reopen some of them to make it seem legit. Lie about head trauma to account for any lapses in their twin 1 act.
It’s decided within three hours. Twin 2 sends their sibling off to the airport and sets everything into motion. They’ve been dying to do something like this for years, after all the times their sibling stuck by their side and tried to stick up to them, to no avail.
Twin 2 instantly hates that fucking collar. Lets Simon put it on but not without the most dark look at the wall, thinking of all the ways to break his hands. Fingers twitching by their side.
The boys sit them down to watch scary movies because they always think it’s fun to spook twin 1 and fuck them while they’re all tense and shivery and but twin 2 is just watching, almost bored. Makes a few attempts to fake jump but keeps forgetting because all their focus is on not slamming a hand into someone’s dick for grinding on them.
Pretends to be asleep in the big bed they’ve been herded into when they kick Johnny or Simon off in the middle of the night. Purposefully aims for soft spots and bruises.
They try to act like twin 1 for a bit but the persona is so difficult to keep up when every little condescending comment from Simon or Johnny makes them want to start stabbing. The inside of their mouth is all torn up from biting onto their cheek and running their tongue over their teeth to resists snarling and snapping.
One day they’re going to snap… and it’s going to be so good to see these bastards bleed.
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ladycaramelswirl · 30 days
Text
It Happened in Texas
Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader ❤︎ Chapter 1: Apparently you have a magnet for shitty bosses
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series masterlist
A/N: For plot purposes, Haley is not in the picture, but Jack does appear later in the story. Also I gave Strauss some of Linda Barnes’s personality so she’s really annoying :)
Tags/Warnings: mentions of violence typical to Criminal Minds. This becomes a comedy in chapter 2, but chapter 1 is very world/character-buildy, sorry 😭 It gets funnier I swear 🤡
The case in this chapter is loosely based on s3e8.
word count: 2k
Enjoy! 🤍
❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎
“Absolutely not”.
The dark-haired man tries to rein in his barely concealed anger at his boss, who, honestly, you weren’t exactly a huge fan of right now either. He gestures to you.
“I don’t know anything about her. It’s my job to decide whether someone is a good fit for the team”, he scowls. Frankly, you’re impressed that he hasn’t exploded.
“Agent Hotchner, I have hired her because I think she’s perfectly capable of doing the job”. 
You swallow a scoff. Sure. That’s why.
“My decision is final. And you have a case to get to”, Strauss snaps.
Agent Hotchner glares at her as she walks away. Then he turns his stare to you. 
“We’re leaving for a case in 10 minutes. Do you have your go bag?”, he asks, not unkindly.
“Yes sir.”
He nods and walks towards the BAU bullpen. You follow him. 
“I trust you’ll keep this altercation between us”, he tells you. “I don’t want the team to be distracted”.
“Yes, sir”.
“Just call me Hotch.”
“Yes, s- Hotch”.
He’s being pretty nice given the situation he’s been put in. But you wonder, not for the first time today, if you should have turned down this job.
————————————
15 minutes ago
“Come in”.
You step into the office of the blonde woman you’d interviewed with. She had been quite pleasant then.
“Assistant Director Strauss”, you greet her.
“Agent. Take a seat. I’d like to discuss some things before I introduce you to your unit chief”.
You wonder what the unit chief is like. You’d heard great things about Aaron Hotchner from your former colleagues. 
“As I’m sure you know this position at the BAU is a highly coveted opportunity”, she starts.
“Yes ma’am”.
“I’d like you to be comfortable here, so I hope we can work together to make that happen”.
Oh?
“Thank you ma’am. I’ll do my best.”
“Excellent! I’ll be expecting an additional personal report for all of your cases.”
“I’m sorry?”
She smiles at you like you’re stupid.
“Agent Hotchner might run a tight ship, but it’s my job to make sure it runs smoothly”, she tells you. “So I just need you to give me details about your cases. No need to mention it to Agent Hotchner, just write the report and send it straight to me.”
“You want me to report on the team? Without telling them?”
This was not what you signed up for.
She laughs mirthlessly. 
“It’s just a report agent. Think of it as a … peer evaluation. I just want to make sure there’s no issues. I’m sure you would understand. Especially after what happened in Houston?”
You grit your teeth. Of course she knew.
“Yes ma’am”.
You try to smile.
“I knew I was right to hire you”, she says. 
You both know you’re only here because she was the only one who accepted your transfer request. 
“Agent. If this conversation leaves this room, you’ll have to understand why I can no longer keep you on this team”.
Fantastic. You were already getting threatened on your first day. 
You plaster on a smile.
“Of course.”
She smiles back, just as fake.
“Great. Now I’ll introduce you to Agent Hotchner. You’ll have to forgive him for his … attitude”, she says contemptuously. “He’s going through a rough time”.
And now your boss was moody too? You were regretting come here by the second. 
Strauss presses the intercom button on her phone.
“Send him in”.
The door is opened by a tall, handsome man. He’s maybe in his late 30s, and he’s well dressed. He has authority figure written all over him, but he looks confused to see you.
“Assistant Director?”, he greets. You suspect it’s not often that he’s walked into a situation where he doesn’t know what’s happening. An exception being right now.
“Agent Hotchner, come in. I’d like you to meet Agent Y/L/N”.
He stretches a hand forward and you shake it. 
“Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise”.
He looks at Strauss. 
“What is this about?”
Strauss looks like she’s holding back a grin. 
“She’ll be joining the BAU effective immediately”.
Agent Hotchner looks like he’s just been handed a bomb.
———————————— 
Present
He doesn’t talk to you at all as you’re climbing into the jet. The team don’t pretend to hide their shock at your arrival. Hotch quickly introduces you and then takes a seat at the back. You politely smile at their wide eyes, but inside you try to fight the urge to turn around and go kick Strauss in the shin. She didn’t even tell them she was hiring you. Unbelievable. This day could not get any worse. The team starts asking you all sorts of questions. Hotch cuts them off.
“That’s enough. Brief us on the case JJ”.
They all follow his directive immediately. A pretty blonde woman who must be JJ hands everyone on the team a file. There’s a pause as everyone realises you don’t have one, because she didn’t know you would be here. A dark haired woman who introduces herself as Emily offers to share hers with you. You smile at her gratefully and try to be invisible as JJ briefs the team. 
—————————
Your first case is in Bridgewater, Florida. A girl has been found with her body eaten by alligators, her fingers cut off and a pentagram carved into her chest. It’s not exactly a great first day welcome. Hotch comes back from the coroner’s office with news that the victim had been force fed fingers before her death. And that none of them were hers, and six of them are index fingers. Remember when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse? This was definitely worse. You wince at the news and Emily looks at you with concern.
“You okay?”
You nod, but notice JJ and Agent Morgan discreetly share a dubious look. The latter turns to face you. 
“Field offices aren’t exactly the same as the BAU. If you’re not up to it-“
“I’m fine. I’d just like to catch the guy that did this”, you tell him. 
You refuse to look weak or feed into the suspicion that you don’t deserve to be here. Morgan stares at you before nodding in agreement and moving away to look over some files. You do the same to avoid any more conversation, and then notice something strange. You pull out a photo.
“This crime scene shows the books the victim was carrying were arranged into a neat row. This specific placement could suggest the unsub was at some point in a mental institution”.
Morgan looks doubtful, but still takes a look. 
Agent Reid springs up. “Of course! When the severely mentally ill are institutionalised, they’re taught to keep things clean and neat to promote order, exactly like the books in that photo!”
You’re a little speechless at his enthusiasm, but it seems his confirmation convinces the team, who now look a little less skeptical about your abilities. They call Garcia to check for names and update Hotch. Garcia calls back about a specific mental institution for a case like the one you’re looking for. Hotch immediately stands up to leave.
“Reid, let’s go”, he orders. The young genius scuttles after him. 
They find a name for the unsub, Floyd Feylinn Ferrel - a cannibal that believes he’s possessed by a flesh eating demon. He was also at the search party earlier to look for a missing girl. The team finds him, but one victim is still missing - Tracy Lambert. Floyd refuses to talk without Father Marks, the priest at his church. They bring him into the interrogation room with Morgan while you and Rossi pore over the sign in sheets from the search party. You frown. 
“Somethings wrong”, you mutter. The older agent looks at you in confusion.
“He signed the volunteer sheet, but not the search team sheet. It doesn’t make sense”, you say, handing him the papers. Usually unsubs joined the search team. Why would he just volunteer to be there?
“Father, I feel so alone. Like God has abandoned me”, Floyd laments. 
The priest shakes his head kindly. “You are not alone, my son. God is in all of us”.
Your stomach drops as you see exactly what Floyd had volunteered for - the food station. 
“We need to stop the interview”, you panic, flinging open the interrogation room door. 
Floyd stares right at you and grins. 
“So is Tracy Lambert”.
—————————
The plane ride back is quiet. You thankfully hadn’t eaten anything at the search, but you still feel nauseous. Is this what all BAU cases were like? Maybe it wasn’t too late to reapply somewhere else? Your unit chief interrupts your thoughts.
“Good job today Reid, we wouldn’t have caught him if you hadn’t noticed the books”, he says. You freeze in your seat, but the younger agent doesn’t notice your discomfort. In fact he barely looks up from his book to correct the unit chief. 
“Actually it wasn’t me that figured it out. It was y/n”.
Hotch looks taken aback and he turns to you, which leads to some awkward eye contact. He looks pained, but he gives you a nod and then moves to the back of the plane. 
Emily nudges your elbow from her seat next to yours. 
“You did good today. He’ll come around”, she tells you. 
“I really didn’t know that no one was informed of my transfer-”, you try to explain, but she stops you.
“I know better than anyone how you feel right now. As long as you do your job and are loyal to the team, everything’s going to be fine”. 
You nod. 
“Look, today was a rough case. We’re going for drinks when we land. Want to come?”, she offers.
You think about the report you’re about to write for Strauss tonight, detailing everything that just happened today. It’s going to take you hours to make sure it doesn’t incriminate anyone on the team. 
“No, I’m tired, but thanks. You guys have fun”.
On the drive home, you realise that you won’t ever be friends with them. You were a spy, even if you didn’t want to be. 
You had come here to escape. Instead, you had just traded one prison for another. 
————————————
Emily enters Penelope’s office to pick her up before drinks.
Penelope greets her with a guilty look.
“Ok. I did something, but don’t be mad. I looked into her file”.
“Pen!”
“What? She’s new, I don’t like new. And we don’t know anything about her. Don’t you want to know how she got hired without Hotch’s approval?”
Emily raises an eyebrow.
“I was hired without Hotch’s approval.”
Penelope gives her puppy eyes and Emily gives in.
“Fine. What did you find?”
The analyst practically lights up.
“Ok, so she graduated the FBI academy with high scores. Went straight to the Houston field office and she was very good at her job - excellent peer reviews and high scores on all of her evaluations”, Penelope starts, putting all of your personal data onto her screen. “Almost everything about her is perfect. Except-“, she clicks on a file. “About two months ago she suddenly requested a transfer to basically every department that was hiring and got rejected by almost all of them. Except ours”. 
Emily frowns. “She has stellar performance evaluations but no one wants to hire her? And why was she so desperate to transfer?”
“Yeah, I thought that was weird too, so I looked into it, but there’s nothing. Except that in her last month at Houston, she isn’t listed on a single one of their cases.”
“None?”
“It’s like she didn’t exist, but she was there every day, I checked her attendance and it’s flawless”.
Emily presses her lips together. She remembers how much she had tried to seal her own history. 
“I don’t think we should be looking anymore. If whatever happened isn’t in the database, then we aren’t meant to see it. She’ll tell us when she’s ready”.
Penelope looks apprehensive, but she closes the files. 
“She’s really nice! And she’s good, she helped us solve the case today”, Emily tries to convince the IT specialist. 
“I’m telling you something is fishy”.
Emily might not say it out loud, but she definitely agreed.
❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎
Chapter 2
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simpingforheros · 9 days
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Jason Todd Head canon 1#
I’m bored at work so I’m giving yall silly headcannons to make y’all smile. This is very crack! Headcanon vibes because I’m manic as well right now. But, I love my toxic zombie boy.
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Redhood! Jason Todd X Batgirl! Reader
If they had became vigilante’s together, they would definitely reconnect after Jason starts to forgive the BatFam.
Would definitely always pair up with her just so they can cause some mischief during patrols.
Definitely play up the flirting in-front of civilians and would definitely encourage shipping just to annoy Bruce.
Would ditch galas to do riding around.
You two basically just resume your friendship until one night, you both got drunk after hanging out at Roy’s and yall wake up the next day with a broken bed and tattoos on y’all’s hips.
If You became batgirl after Jason’s death, God bless you
Jason would be hard on you with the intimidating and dickish act for a long ass time.
He wasn’t as bad as he was with the others because he understands that you weren’t involved with his death and you weren’t a replacement for him as much as you were Oracle’s.
When the moody stage finally passes and he realizes that you won’t put up with his tantrums, he will try a new approach.
Red hood becomes known as a menace to Batgirl in the media.
Whether it be he would somehow end up saving Batgirl while being a snarky ass hole or do behaviors that would cause her blushing face to be on the covers of tabloids.
At the manor, the pair bicker almost as much as they bonded over common interests.
Now the arguments revolve around those interests even if half of them started because of joke either one of them started.
“Bridgerton is just a horny girl’s excuse to not read Jane Austen” “Take that shit back right now!” “Make me.”
When the feelings actually start to develop, the bickering and the flirtation gets so bad that they become the most shipped ‘enemies to lovers’ ship among the tabloids and Gotham’s youth.
Finally, tension boils over when an incident happens where Batgirl was almost killed by a major villain.
Oh shit, Red Hood was not very happy to find out that Batgirl was currently in a hospital bed after a failed recon mission.
He went head hunting after that 🫢 Not that kind of head.
After that, Jason became unbearably protective of her. Volunteering to be on patrol with her, driving her to appointments, stalking her , breaking in coming over to her room/apartment to hang out.
It all boiled over after a heated and trauma dumping confrontation between the two where the neighbors/residents of the manor heard screaming, yelling, maybe a broken vase, and some creaming.
Red Hood! Jason Todd X Civilian! Reader
Ngl y’all, Jason dating a civilian would probably be a little toxic.
He’s either gonna date someone so fucking sweet that it fuels his need to be a protector and act as a balm to his failure complex.
Or he’s gonna date someone as fucked up as him so he feels some form of trauma bond with them.
He probably would spot eyes with them in a busy setting and because he’s very good at reading people, he would immediately start his stalking because he wanted to know if he can trust them before building a relationship with them.
Would probably never approach them as the Red Hood before meeting as Jason Todd unless it was a situation where he had to step in.
Secret lover boy with self sabotaging tendencies.
He would stage their first meeting as a form of meet-cute scenario. Most likely on the street or a bookstore.
Would play the long game of meeting by ‘chances’ and casual little conversations.
Has a weird prey/predator mentality where he wants them to give him their number first or ask him out first but he’s the one actually pursuing them.
If they started dating, he would treat things very slowly or very casually depending on which type they are.
If it’s the sweet one, he’ll play it slow and gentlemanly, like the romance movie lead.
He wouldn’t want intimacy or pressure anything like that even if he constantly thinks about it.
Maybe a little less toxic but more manipulative.
“Oh baby, there’s been a ton of robberies around that area. Let’s just go riding then we can go see that movie you been talking about.”
“Sweetheart, I love how precious you are, but I’m really busy right now. How about I swing by after work with some treats I already had picked out for you.”
His true nature would come out eventually. His vulnerability would show more, but by then his sweet little partner would be so loving and understanding.
They would comfort his nightmares and rub his aching muscles.
It would be 1.5 to 2 years into dating before he would reveal he’s Red Hood.
The fucked up one is getting toxic Jason.
This pairing probably met at a bar/party, and their relationship started out as a casual friends with benefits.
The two would become closer faster than he would with a sweet one, but oh my god, y’all fight for your lives.
Arguments are usually loud and heard throughout the apartment building before they would either screw iy out or have to separate.
Jason would eventually return with either dinner or a gift to apologize. He learnt that from his daddy Brucie.
Unless that man is down bad, in love, he ain’t telling y’all anything.
Anytime he gets asked about where he’s going to at night,
“It’s none of your business.”
“Work, don’t worry I’ll tell her you asked.”
“You know I’m busy.”
Don’t worry, the longer you two stay together, he sweeter he becomes.
Our toxic king will get better and less toxic.
It takes him to the moment he realizes that you really aren’t gonna leave him and that you love his fucked up ass, for him to tell you he’s the Red Hood.
+++++++++++
AN: That’s all I got for right now. Let me know if you want an Arkham Knight version or if I need to calm down with our Toxic King.
+++++++++++
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saphronethaleph · 4 months
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Task Failed Successfully
Senator Amidala closed the door to the Naboo senatorial office, and smiled.
“All right,” she said. “Knight Kenobi, Padawan Skywalker. I’m glad the two of you were available.”
“We are, of course, at the disposal of the Senate,” Obi-Wan said.
“And I can guess what the problem is,” Anakin added. “Can’t you, Master?”
“Of course, my young padawan,” Obi-Wan replied. “But what about if the Senator explains?”
“To put it simply, then,” the Senator said. “The Supreme Chancellor would like to know what in the galaxy the Kaminoans are talking about.”
Anakin blinked.
“You don’t know?” he asked. “He doesn’t know?”
“The Senate has some idea of some details, but at this point some or all of them could be incorrect,” Padme replied. “And the Chancellor wanted me to try and understand the specifics.”
“That… could be a problem,” Obi-Wan admitted. “Because the Council doesn’t have much idea either.”
“We were speaking with them for over an hour,” Anakin contributed. “Master is one of the better diplomats in the Jedi Order… we were actually told to try and find out who in the Senate might know what’s going on.”
Padme frowned, slightly. “You mean you were trying to find out if someone in the Senate had done this?” she asked. “But the army was ordered for the Jedi.”
“So we’ve been told,” Obi-Wan replied. “Obviously, it’s only been a few hours, but we haven’t been able to come to any conclusions – and, to put it bluntly, Senator, it could be that this army was ordered with the blame being placed on the Jedi in order to confuse the issue.”
Padme considered that.
“Possible, but I don’t think it’s likely,” she said. “Whoever ordered this army clearly had a reason behind what they were doing, we just don’t know what it is.”
“Which means we’re just going around in circles,” Anakin concluded.
“Perhaps, but simply hearing it from Padme has been useful,” Obi-Wan said. “I hope you’ll keep us informed if you learn anything?”
“Of course,” Padme smiled. ���The two of you helped save my planet, Obi-Wan, Ani. You’re friends.”
“The Jedi Order teaches us to avoid attachment,” Anakin said, then grinned slightly. “But friends don’t count, right?”
“If friends did count, then I don’t think most of the Order would be very happy,” Obi-Wan replied.
“Yeah, true,” Anakin agreed. “I think Yoda still sends holocalls to his last padawan.”
“Is there something unusual about that?” Padme asked.
“It’s… more of Order business than anything,” Obi-Wan said. “My padawan really shouldn’t have passed on gossip like that. It’s not going to do him any good when it comes to whether he’ll be knighted.”
“Master,” Anakin complained. “You said I had nothing to worry about!”
“And you seem determined to prove me wrong,” Obi-Wan replied. “Perhaps you can prove me wrong about proving me wrong about that.”
Anakin’s lips moved.
“...okay?” he tried. “I’ll do my best, Master.”
“In that case, Anakin, I will have nothing to worry about,” Obi-Wan replied.
Padme smiled.
“So what are you going to do with the army, anyway?” she asked.
“That’s a very good question, but you should probably ask one of the members of the Council,” Obi-Wan replied.
“Master, everyone knows you’re going to be on the Council some time soon,” Anakin said.
“And I’m not one yet, and everyone doesn’t include me,” Obi-Wan pointed out. “But… really, that does depend on who and why there would be an order of over a million clones to fight for the Jedi. The only possibility I can think of is the Sith, but… why would the Sith order an army for the Jedi?”
“If it’s a Sith plot, do you have any chance of unravelling it?” Padme asked, worried. “You stopped whatever they were trying to do with Naboo.”
“Did we?” Obi-Wan asked.
“No, I mean you, specifically,” Padme replied. “And you, Anakin. The Droid Control Ship was key to whatever it was they were doing, and Obi-Wan killed a Sith.”
“And there’s been no sign of the other in a decade,” Obi-Wan said, thinking back to the Naboo crisis. “Though… now I come to think about that particular series of events, Senator, I do have to ask whether a specific member of the Senate was involved.”
“With the Sith?” Padme asked.
“There’s got to have been some Senators working with the Sith, back then,” Anakin pointed out.
“Perhaps, but that’s not what I mean,” Obi-Wan explained. “I mean the clone army. Because if there is anyone who could accidentally order an army, it is the junior Senator from Naboo.”
He turned, to direct something that was not quite a glare at Senator Binks. “Isn’t that right, Jar Jar?”
“Mesa not as bad as all dat,” Jar Jar protested. “Mesa been doing quite well for mesa self in the last ten years. Mesa has been takin’ classes on avoidin’ disaster and not bein’ clumsy.”
“Perhaps you have,” Obi-Wan said, relenting slightly. “But you must admit, Jar Jar, that certain events have given you a reputation it will take many years to live down yet.”
Jar Jar sighed.
“Mesa knows dat,” he admitted. “Theres-a all kinds of jokes about mesa. It seems like even when mesa floatin’ legislation, people makin’ jokes about waterfalls.”
Obi-Wan nodded, closing his eyes for a moment.
“I apologize, Jar Jar,” he said. “It’s easy for me to forget that you have to deal with that reputation all the time.”
“Yeah,” Jar Jar said.
“Speaking of which,” Anakin began. “Did anyone ever figure out how that happened? If they did, I missed it.”
“Mesa has said it over and over again,” Jar Jar protested. “Mesa was simply showin’ the bombad Chancellor-Elect the really pretty bits of Theed that mesa wasn’t sure that he’sa seen before, and mesa was wavin’ mesa hands around, and mesa… made a boopjak, big mistake.”
“The Chancellor-Elect fell three hundred and eighty metres,” Obi-Wan said. “Then he hit the ground, and exploded. It put something of a damper on the celebrations.”
“Jar Jar does know this,” Padme pointed out. “And he’s heard it over and over. He’s done his very best to put it behind him, and is as valued an ally of Chancellor Stonk as I am.”
“Hesa was a big supporter of rebuildin’ Naboo!” Jar Jar said, brightening as he rebounded in the way only he could. “Stonks even gone to the moon!”
“I heard about the colonization project of Ohma-D’un,” Anakin said, interested. “Do you think the terraforming equipment could be used to help make a planet less dry and sandy?”
He frowned. “Actually, Master… could we use the army for that? The only reason the Republic won’t do anything about Outer Rim slavery is that it would mean building an army, right?”
Padme looked interested, but frowned.
“We’d probably need to find where it came from, first,” she said. “But… I’ll definitely suggest it, Ani.”
She smiled. “Assuming the Senate gets any say in what to do with the army, of course.”
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No Queerbaiting Here
A long time ago…I’m talking May of 2021, I wrote a meta post about queerbaiting. Essentially an essay. I wrote it right before the S4 finale of 9-1-1 aired because I was frustrated by Buddie fans calling Queerbait entirely like the boy that cried wolf. I still stand by it. Sort of. 
Now, even back then I was pretty clear about how 50/50 I was on Buddie ever going canon. (Maybe not in that post but certainly elsewhere) But, I shipped Buddie then and wrote a lot of fic and meta and participated in fandom. I never said it couldn’t happen…I just would never be bothered if it didn’t.
Where we stand now: It’s not going to happen. 
And where I stand now: fully immersed in Bucktommy. And what’s more, I am more than perfectly happy about Buck and Tommy staying together and going the long-run. Although I can still look at Buddie and think it’s a cute ship, I just don’t want it in canon. I would not be satisfied if the show went that way. But what’s more if Buck and Tommy don’t work out, that would be disappointing, but I’d be okay as long as they got to be happy. There is, after all, always fanfiction. 
So, I wanted to revisit this concept a bit now that Buck has been confirmed as Bisexual and now that he is in a relationship with a man. Not Eddie. Tommy. And somehow, some Buddie fans are still crying queerbait because their ship is not canon. That’s not how it works. Also…shipping works outside of canon, that’s the whole point of shipping. 
To reiterate from my original post on queerbaiting, here’s the definition from wikipedia:
“Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation. They do so to attract a queer or straight ally audience with the suggestion of relationships or characters that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers.” 
Here’s where I stand: Buddie was abandoned a long time ago. If it was ever a real possibility, we won’t ever know. What we do know is that Oliver was aware that at one point he had given them the go-ahead to make Buck Bi. Whether this was by putting Buck and Eddie together or having Buck realize this another way, we just don’t know that. We don’t have that information and nor will it probably ever be provided to us. Narratively, I know that a lot of fans figured the timing of it fit with S4 and that particular finale but we really just don’t know despite what happened in the finale.
I found that interesting looking back at my own post from back then and the discussion that followed where some fans felt that the way the finale went would determine if Buddie would be another queerbait ship. (I think most people agreed after the will scene that it wasn’t queerbait because it did leave a kernel of hope that Buddie might still happen). 
And yeah, I guess you could argue that the network deciding not to go the route of a queer storyline points to missed opportunity. That doesn’t then mean that any queerbaiting occurred or that any fans are owed anything just because something that was set up or that the writers were writing towards was then scrapped by the network. Is it a shame that it didn’t happen in whatever way they wanted to play it out, sure, but only because Buck would have been confirmed queer earlier. In the same vein isn’t it nice that we have a confirmed Bisexual Buck now? That the show managed to bring it back to that.
A Buck that is happy and free and that has realized something so monumental about himself? Isn’t it nice that all the queer coding that Buck as a character has received since the start of the show is actually finally not just queer coding but full on character development? That we can look back at the show and see all the things Buck did around other men for exactly what they were. 
When Tommy first returned to 9-1-1 in S7, I think a lot of us were excited by the spoilers about Buck and Tommy because of Bi Buck, but also because this was the thing that could lead to Buddie. 
And then…then Tommy was actually on my screen and I doubted it. I actually thought maybe the spoilers were wrong and this was about Eddie and Tommy? That episode flipped things in such an expertly way that by the time Tommy and Buck were sharing a kiss for the first time I was right there with Buck. On a second watch, it is all there. Buck was never jealous because his friend was ignoring him. He was jealous because his best friend had the attention of the guy whose attention he wanted for himself. The writing on that was perfect and no amount of twisting it can change what happened on screen. 
Buck was not jealous because of Eddie. Tommy was never interested in more than friendship with Eddie. And Buck and Tommy have nothing to do with Buddie. Tommy is not a stepping stone, a way for Buck to be ready to then embark on a relationship with Eddie. That’s both disrespectful to Tommy and Buck, but just not what the story being told on the show is doing. 
The storyline is monumental. Having a big strong guy, a firefighter, figure out his sexuality in his thirties is such good storytelling and add to that Tommy. Someone that we already know, who already works as a first responder, and who can show up and wow Buck in such a way that he realizes something about himself? This is what I’ve always wanted. Because guess what, Buck never questioned his sexuality before this. Not when he met Eddie and not when he met anyone else, not until Tommy. 
Going into the new season we know a few things and one of those is that Buck and Tommy are thriving. The media coverage talks about them as a solid couple, it talks about Buck having someone to turn to and complain to. It talks about how they are still in the getting to know each other phase and I love that for them. I love how they are being treated and described and I can’t wait to see what plays out for them and how much of the build up of their relationship we may get to actually see. 
Do you know what the media and the show never talked about outwardly like this? Buddie. Whenever it came up it was always brushed aside in a way that was respectful to fans and what they saw, but without ever confirming or hinting that the show would ever go there. They never queerbaited anyone with Buddie, what they have done is say “yeah…we know what you see” and then turned around and given us a Buck and Eddie friendship and Buck kissing Tommy, going on a date with Tommy, and thriving with Tommy. 
So, no queerbaiting here on the show where half of the major canon pairings are queer. It’s actually more like some fans baiting other fans with theories and headcanons that just don’t fit.
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hollowed-theory-hall · 6 months
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Why I don't think Harry actually likes Ginny
So, I don't like Hinny. I don't buy the relationship between them for multiple reasons. The first of which is that I believe Harry Potter is gay (or at least, not attracted to women).
The rest, I'm going to cover here. Some of the opinions I have are probably not very popular, but I'm saying what I see evidence for.
Disclaimer: No hate to anyone who does ship Hinny, or likes Ginny, I just don't see it.
He doesn't actually think about her until book 6... like, at all
The most important part of this section is actually what Hary doesn't say about Ginny and not what he does, so I don't have quotes. But I literally scoured the books to find scenes Harry described Ginny's appearance. I looked for words like: "pretty", "beautiful", "attractive", or anything else, really any detailed description that would show he is physically attracted to her. I came out with nothing.
He never calls her pretty or attractive in all seven books. And I mentioned in my post here, how Harry can and does describe attractiveness in people (men) he finds attractive.
The other thing he never mentions is what he likes about Ginny. Like, her personality.
He says he likes her, and he's jealous when she's with Dean in HBP (only halfway through the book, but that's for later in this post), but he never mentions what he likes about her. Ginny talks about why she likes Harry plenty, but Harry seems to have no clue why he's dating Ginny. He supposedly likes her, but doesn't name in his head a single thing he likes about her as a person. The things he does think he likes about her are:
She is comfortable to be around, the same way Ron and Hermoine are.
She doesn't weep like Cho.
She's good at Quidditch.
So that's a brilliant basis for a relationship right there. (sarcasm)
“Harry, I’m talking to you, can you hear me?” “Huh?” He looked around. Ginny Weasley, looking very windswept, had joined him at the library table where he had been sitting alone. It was late on Sunday evening; Hermione had gone back to Gryffindor Tower to review Ancient Runes; Ron had Quidditch practice.
(Order of the Pheonix, page 655)
Ginny approaches him, but nothing, no response, no care. He didn't even notice she was there. Takes him, like, three minutes to recall she's on the Quidditch team and should be at practice with Ron. And when she does talk to him, he actually doesn't explain the full truth. He never actually tells her the full scope of his problems and feelings.
“Hi,” said Ginny uncertainly. “We recognized Harry’s voice — what are you yelling about?” “Never you mind,” said Harry roughly. Ginny raised her eyebrows. “There’s no need to take that tone with me,” she said coolly. “I was only wondering whether I could help.” “Well, you can’t,” said Harry shortly. “You’re being rather rude, you know,” said Luna serenely. Harry swore and turned away. The very last thing he wanted now was a conversation with Luna Lovegood.
(Order of the Pheonix, page 735)
Later in the same book, Harry is downright rude to Ginny, and he's sure Sirius is being tortured at the moment, so I get it. But, also, the fact he reacts more to Luna telling him he's rude than to Ginny... like, that's telling on which of the two girls' opinions Harry cares more. And it's not Ginny. After Luna calls him out, he actually stops snapping at them. With Ginny, he just continued being snappy and rude to her.
“Michael — but —” said Ron, craning around in his seat to stare at her. “But you were going out with him!” “Not anymore,” said Ginny resolutely. “He didn’t like Gryffindor beating Ravenclaw at Quidditch and got really sulky, so I ditched him and he ran off to comfort Cho instead.” She scratched her nose absently with the end of her quill, turned The Quibbler upside down, and began marking her answers. Ron looked highly delighted. “Well, I always thought he was a bit of an idiot,” he said, prodding his queen forward toward Harry’s quivering castle. “Good for you. Just choose someone — better — next time.” He cast Harry an oddly furtive look as he said it. “Well, I’ve chosen Dean Thomas, would you say he’s better?” asked Ginny vaguely. “WHAT?” shouted Ron, upending the chessboard. Crookshanks went plunging after the pieces and Hedwig and Pigwidgeon twittered and hooted angrily from overhead. As the train slowed down in the approach to King’s Cross, Harry thought he had never wanted to leave it less. He even wondered fleetingly what would happen if he simply refused to get off, but remained stubbornly sitting there until the first of September, when it would take him back to Hogwarts.
(Order of the Pheonix, page 866)
Some like to say Hinny didn't come out of nowhere, but it did. It's clear that at the end of book 5 Harry doesn't give a shit who Ginny is dating. He's thinking about Sirius, he's mourning, of course, but he is still mourning him in book 6 and it didn't stop his jealous rage towards Dean then.
The fact is, up until like halfway through book 6 there are no signs he is interested in Ginny romanticly.
“Fancy trying to find a compartment?” “I can’t, Harry, I said I’d meet Dean,” said Ginny brightly. “See you later.” “Right,” said Harry. He felt a strange twinge of annoyance as she walked away, her long red hair dancing behind her; he had become so used to her presence over the summer that he had almost forgotten that Ginny did not hang around with him, Ron, and Hermione while at school. Then he blinked and looked around: He was surrounded by mesmerized girls.
(Half-Blood Prince, page 136)
Two notes here.
Firstly, this is at the beginning of HBP, still no signs from Harry of jealousy. He likes Ginny as a friend and gets used to her presence. That is literally what their relationship is built on. Him being used to her presence. Still, he doesn't care in the slightest who she is dating.
Secondly, what follows this scene is Harry running away from all his adoring fangirls with the help of Neville. Because Harry is not attracted to women and is not interested in any of their attention.
Harry told Ron and Hermione, pulling open the parchment and quickly reading its contents [note from Dumbledore]. “Monday evening!” He felt suddenly light and happy. “Want to join us in Hogsmeade, Ginny?” he asked. “I’m going with Dean — might see you there,” she replied, waving at them as she left.
(Half-Blood Prince, page 242)
Again, no jealousy. His entire problem with Dean and Ginny dating started really late into book 6 and there was basically no buildup.
Dean was looking embarrassed. He gave Harry a shifty grin that Harry did not return, as the newborn monster inside him was roaring for Dean’s instant dismissal from the team.
(Half-Blood Prince, page 287)
Now, I wanna talk a little bit about Harry's jealousy towards Dean and how he describes his emotions about Ginny. Ginny is the only character he describes his emotions about in this way. And it's... well, weird to say the least. Definitely off. The first time I read it I had to reread it to make sure I actually read it correctly.
Like, the only times he thinks about his emotions towards Ginny, are in jealousy. He doesn't like when other guys date her, but he never really thinks that he likes her, or what he likes about her. Or anything at all, positive or negative.
And, back to the description being odd, well, I'll get to it later in this post about why I think Harry convinced himself he likes Ginny and why his emotions about her are described the way they are.
Harry looked around; there was Ginny running toward him; she had a hard, blazing look in her face as she threw her arms around him. And without thinking, without planning it, without worrying about the fact that fifty people were watching, Harry kissed her.
...
The creature in his chest roaring in triumph, he grinned down at Ginny and gestured wordlessly out of the portrait hole. A long walk in the grounds seemed indicated, during which — if they had time — they might discuss the match.
(Half-Blood Prince, pages 533-534)
I want to talk about Harry's feelings regarding Ginny and kissing her, or, well, lack of their off. You know, after a first kiss, with a girl he supposedly likes, I expected something more emotional, more involved. I expect him to actually care.
But no. He doesn't describe the kiss at all actually, or his feelings. There are no butterflies in his stomach, no head spinning, nothing. Just his chest monster feeling triumphant.
This is insane, this is not the reaction to kissing someone you like. Or even feel mildly attracted to. Where are the nerves and excitement? They aren't there.
He had more emotions about his first kiss with Cho. They weren't positive emotions, but these were emotions.
The second thing about their first kiss is how the text pretty clearly insinuates they made out throughout their whole walk. This actually reminds me a lot of Ron and Lavender in book 6:
“Well, think back,” said Harry. “Have you ever let it slip that you’d like to go out in public with the words ‘My Sweetheart’ round your neck?” “Well . . . we don’t really talk much,” said Ron. “It’s mainly . . .” “Snogging,” said Harry. “Well, yeah,” said Ron.
(Half-Blood Prince, page 338)
They don't really have much of a relationship. They make out, but they don't talk, they don't share anything with each other, they don't really like each other — they barely know each other.
Harry and Ginny are much the same. Ginny is in love with the idea of Harry Potter, and Harry for some reason decideded he likes Ginny even though he can't name a single personality trait she possesses.
“And then what does she think’s going to happen?” Harry muttered. “Someone else might kill off Voldemort while she’s holding us here making vol-auvents?” He had spoken without thinking, and saw Ginny’s face whiten. “So it’s true?” She said, “That’s what you’re trying to do?” “I—not—I was joking,” said Harry evasively. They stared at each other, and there was something more than shock in Ginny’s expression. Suddenly Harry became aware that this was the first time that he had been alone with her since their stolen hours in secluded corners of the Hogwarts grounds. He was sure she was remembering them too. Both of them jumped as the door opened, and Mr. Weasley, Kingsley, and Bill walked in.
(Deathly Hollows, page 82)
Like, there is quite a bit I want to unpack here.
Firstly, Harry didn't bother telling Ginny that he, Ron, and Hermione were planning on leaving. That they are going to go and stop Voldemort. Well, he didn't tell her about the Horcruxes, or any of his experiences, really. I don't think she knows he cast a Crocio at Bellatrix at the end of fifth year.
Like, Harry does not share his life with Ginny. At all. Her reaction is quite telling.
But also, even after he broke up with her already at the end of HBP. Still, Ginny is constantly trying to drag him back to be with her. She isn't letting Harry break up with her. And, that just really doesn't sit well with me. Harry didn't even consider it until he saw how Ginny was eying him, she's the one who thought they should make out. Harry was trying to stay broken up with her.
Ginny looked up into Harry’s face, took a deep breath, and said, “Happy seventeenth.” “Yeah. . . thanks.” She was looking at him steadily; he, however, found it difficult to look back at her; it was like gazing into a brilliant light.
...
He chanced a glance at her. She was not tearful; that was one of the many wonderful things about Ginny, she was rarely weepy. He had sometimes thought that having six brothers must have toughened her up.
(Deathly Hollows, page 103)
Again, after Harry breaks up with her, she tries to drag him back. He doesn't want to look at her. And as romantic as "gazing into a brilliant light" sounds, usually doing that hurts your eyes and is really not something you want to do. Besides, when you really like someone, you want to look at them, you want to stare at their stupid face for as long as they let you.
Harry clearly doesn't.
The other thing to note about this passage is the wonderful thing Harry can name about Ginny, is that she never cries. Yes, amazing reason to date someone, Harry.
However, Ron did not appear on the map, and after a while Harry found himself taking it out simply to stare at Ginny’s name in the girls’ dormitory, wondering whether the intensity with which he gazed at it might break into her sleep, that she would somehow know he was thinking about her, hoping that she was all right.
(Deathly Hollows, page 270)
Even when pulling out the Marauder’s Map to watch her dot Harry's thoughts are just to make sure she's alright, the same reason he watches out for Ron on the map after he leaves them. Hoping to see he's alright. Harry would do it to any friend he felt strongly about, it's not just Ginny. She doesn't get special treatment in his mind.
Ginny Clearly likes him though, quite obsessively so, even as they grow older...
Ginny made it no secret she liked Harry in her first year with the Valentine's Day poem. The thing is, she never really stopped liking him, she didn't move on from that childhood crush. Quite the opposite actually.
“I never really gave up on you,” she said. “Not really. I always hoped. . . . Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself.” “Smart girl, that Hermione,” said Harry, trying to smile. “I just wish I’d asked you sooner. We could’ve had ages . . . months . . . years maybe. . . .” “But you’ve been too busy saving the Wizarding world,” said Ginny, half laughing. “Well . . . I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn’t be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.”
(Half-Blood Prince, page 647)
Ginny says at the top of this quote something I already talked about, but I'll say it again. She never gave up on Harry, she thinks them ending up together is fate. And she dated other guys throughout her fourth and fifth year to get Harry to notice her.
That is so gross, I don't even know where to start. I mean, she used a bunch of random guys, who all liked her, only to get Harry. She didn't care about their feelings, or these guys as real human beings, just that they could help her get Harry. And that is awful and one of the reasons I dislike Ginny.
The second part I bolded is Ginny explaining again, that she knew she and Harry were fated — this isn't romantic, this is terrifying and paints all her previous relationships in a really bad light.
She also mentions there she likes Harry, and that she likes that he's this saviour who needs to hunt down Voldemort. Now, first, she is clearly in love with the idea of the Boy-Who-Lived, and not Harry himself, because what she likes about him is his nobility and savior complex. Not just here, but in general.
While Harry definitely is heroic, he is also cunning, and clever, has some serious anger management issues, and isn't as noble as Ginny likes to paint him as. I feel like, here, when she says what she likes about him, she doesn't really know him. Harry doesn't want to hunt down Voldemort, he feels it's his responsibility. He would've been happy to be able to live his life without them being threatened constantly.
His 'saving people thing' is because he considers endangering himself less bad than endangering someone else. That's his low self-esteem talking, not his thirst for adventure. That and his (honestly correct) conclusion that he can't count on the adults or other people to do what needs to be done. Also, his sense of responsibility due to the prophecy, which he didn't really tell Ginny about in full. the prophecy and Dumbledore made him feel Voldemort is his problem to solve. It's not that he's happy about it. Ginny is in love with an ideal, not with the actual Harry Potter.
(I'll get to Harry's words here later)
Ginny caught Harry’s eye and looked away quickly, grinning.
(Order of the Pheonix, page 848)
And when going back to Harry's fifth year, even then (while she technically has a boyfriend) she is trying to get Harry's attention and is flirting with him. Not that Harry notices it's flirting because he doesn't think of Ginny in that way.
But Ron held up a hand to silence her. “She was really cut up when you ended it—” “So was I. You know why I stopped it, and it wasn’t because I wanted to.” “Yeah, but you go snogging her now and she’s just going to get her hopes up again—” “She’s not an idiot, she knows it can’t happen, she’s not expecting us to—to end up married, or—”
(Deathly Hollows, page 104)
I mentioned it above, but Ginny is the one who dragged Harry to make out with her, it wasn't Harry who initiated it. She does this after Harry broke up with her, which... well... yeah. I mean, at least Harry was willing, right?
And Harry says she isn't thinking about marriage, but Ginny definitely is. Remember, she thinks they are fated to end up together.
Now, as to why Harry is dating her and thinks he likes her...
I think she might have used a love potion...
Now, I know, I know, honestly, this is a theory I doubted for a long time. I mean, there's no way.
But I'm rereading the books right now, and ehh... I think whoever came up with this might have been onto something. It's kind of creepy actually.
Mrs. Weasley was telling Hermione and Ginny about a love potion she’d made as a young girl. All three of them were rather giggly.
(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 70)
Love potions are a thing in the Wizarding World. They are legal to sell and use with no consequences. They are banned at Hogwarts, but we saw it doesn't mean much considering Romilda Vane snuck quite a bit in...
What I show in the above quote is how witches like Molly Weasly see love potions as a legitimate thing to giggle about. As if it isn't a horrifying rape drug that takes away someone's autonomy! Love potions aren't something to giggle about. And they're definitely not something to giggle about with two young girls...
But this is to explain, how to Ginny, who thinks she and Harry are meant to end up together, using a love potion would seem completely legitimate. It's a little, funny nudge, but it's not bad. Her mother used it, and so many other girls did too. Because it isn't treated as the horrifying thing it is. She grew up thinking of it as a legitimate measure to take if a boy you like doesn't notice you. A measure that she wouldn't be even punished for if it was found out.
Now, this is a long quote, but this is the one that made me even consider this theory as a possibility:
She hoisted a box wrapped in brown paper onto the table; it had clearly been unwrapped and carelessly rewrapped, and there was a scribbled note across it in red ink, reading inspected and passed by the hogwarts high inquisitor. “It’s Easter eggs from Mum,” said Ginny. “There’s one for you. . . . There you go. . . .” She handed him a handsome chocolate egg decorated with small, iced Snitches and, according to the packaging, containing a bag of Fizzing Whizbees. Harry looked at it for a moment, then, to his horror, felt a hard lump rise in his throat. “Are you okay, Harry?” asked Ginny quietly. “Yeah, I’m fine,” said Harry gruffly. The lump in his throat was painful. He did not understand why an Easter egg should have made him feel like this. “You seem really down lately,” Ginny persisted. “You know, I’m sure if you just talked to Cho . . .” “It’s not Cho I want to talk to,” said Harry brusquely. “Who is it, then?” asked Ginny. “I . . .” He glanced around to make quite sure that nobody was listening; Madam Pince was several shelves away, stamping out a pile of books for a frantic-looking Hannah Abbott. “I wish I could talk to Sirius,” he muttered. “But I know I can’t.” More to give himself something to do than because he really wanted any, Harry unwrapped his Easter egg, broke off a large bit, and put it into his mouth. “Well,” said Ginny slowly, helping herself to a bit of egg too, “if you really want to talk to Sirius, I expect we could think of a way to do it. . . .” “Come on,” said Harry hopelessly. “With Umbridge policing the fires and reading all our mail?” “The thing about growing up with Fred and George,” said Ginny thoughtfully, “is that you sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” Harry looked at her. Perhaps it was the effect of the chocolate — Lupin had always advised eating some after encounters with dementors — or simply because he had finally spoken aloud the wish that had been burning inside him for a week, but he felt a bit more hopeful. . . .
(Order of the Pheonix, page 655)
Now, Harry, first, gets really weird about the Easter Egg. Why an Easter Egg would cause a lump in his throat, I have no idea. Maybe it smelled weird?
He didn't really want to eat the chocolate, he felt bad about it, which is again, very strange phrasing. especially as I think Harry's instincts are pretty decent, especially when it comes to potential danger. Ginny isn't mentioned eating from his chocolate, she's implied to be eating a different chocolate egg.
But the final section I bolded is the one I really want to talk about.
Harry didn't even notice Ginny approach him. Throughout this scene, he doesn't describe anything about her or his emotions for her. Then, he looks at her and feels more hopeful in a way he hasn't before, and he blames it on the chocolate. That's so incredibly strange.
So I read that, then read it again, and started thinking a love potion might be a possibility.
It'll explain why Harry thinks he likes Ginny and wants to make out with her, without once mentioning he finds her attractive, or that he even likes her personality. It'll also explain the weird way Harry describes his emotions for Ginny, his chest monster, that is. I mean, I believe Harry is gay, what do you think happens when you give a guy who literally can't find you attractive a love potion so he'd like you? He reacts weirdly. His like of you is off and unnatural and disconnected because he isn't affecting him the way it should.
Even when Ron was dosed with the love potion he could name things the potion made him like about Romilda:
“I love her,” repeated Ron breathlessly. “Have you seen her hair, it’s all black and shiny and silky . . . and her eyes? Her big dark eyes? And her —”
(Half-Blood Prince, page 392)
It's not like Ron could say what he liked about Romilda's personality though, he just knew he needed to be with her and she was perfect. This is frighteningly similar to how Harry thinks of Ginny.
Harry watches for Ginny on the map while traveling in Deathly Hollows. He's constantly drawn to her, but he doesn't have any actual feelings towards her. He wants to marry her but has no clue what her personality is like. He just thinks Ginny is great without knowing why.
Near the window was an array of violently pink products around which a cluster of excited girls was giggling enthusiastically. Hermione and Ginny both hung back, looking wary. “There you go,” said Fred proudly. “Best range of love potions you’ll find anywhere.” Ginny raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Do they work?” she asked. “Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question —”
(Half-Blood Prince, page 120)
Now, after the above scene in book 5 which I believe is the first time Ginny tries to dose Harry with a love potion, Harry still isn't dating Ginny, as we all know. What do we see Ginny do early in book 6, the book in which they get together? Try to buy a love potion from Fred and George.
And more importantly, she asks them: "Do they work?"
Why would Ginny ask that if she hadn't already failed with a love potion before?
I think, Harry's not being attracted to women, does affect how love potions effect him and the dosages he will need to be fed. And Ginny clearly isn't giving up on Harry. She said so herself — they were fated.
“Hang on,” said a voice close by Harry’s left ear and he caught a sudden waft of that flowery smell he had picked up in Slughorn’s dungeon. He looked around and saw that Ginny had joined them. “Did I hear right? You’ve been taking orders from something someone wrote in a book, Harry?”
(Half-Blood Prince, page 192)
One of the only things Harry comments about in regarding Ginny is her smell. He only mentions it from year 6 and onwards.
Now, I know JKR intended it to imply Harry smelled Ginny in amortentia and that he's in love with her. The thing is, it could just as easily be read as a smell he associates with Ginny and the Burrow because she dosed him with a love potion already. So he is used to smelling amortentia around Ginny and the Burrow, not because he's in love with her, but because the potion is there.
“There’s the silver lining I’ve been looking for,” she whispered, and then she was kissing him as she had never kissed him before, and Harry was kissing her back, and it was blissful oblivion better than firewhisky; she was the only real thing in the world, Ginny, the feel of her, one hand at her back and one in her long, sweet-smelling hair—
(Deathly Hollows, page 103)
When she kisses him after he broke up with her and she's trying to get him back, he mentions the smell of her hair again. How the smell is actually affecting him.
With all the evidence towards Harry not liking women, and the fact he doesn't even find Ginny attractive, I just have a hard time believing this. How can he go from coldly not caring about her in one scene to going into blissful oblivion from the smell of her hair?
Unless there is some variant of a love potion he is getting dosed with.
(I don't think this is a very popular opinion, but there is just so much that's weird about Hinny, that I can't find any other way to explain it in canon)
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half-bakedboy · 6 months
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for the buck/tommy prompts — “you’re an idiot.” “yeah, but i’m *your* idiot.”
A few months into dating, Evan asks Tommy to a family dinner at Sergeant Grant and Captain Nash’s house. Tommy’s never been nervous when meeting a significant other’s family or friends, but he sure as Hell is terrified to meet Evan’s pseudo-parents. 
You know, the ones Tommy hijacked his own helicopter for because they saved an entire ship of people from being murdered by pirates, blown up, and drowned in the middle of the ocean where they’d probably never be found?
It didn’t matter that he had met them before. How is he supposed to feel normal about meeting two people like that? 
“I can practically hear you spiraling, and I feel like that’s supposed to be my job,” Evan interrupts his, well, spiraling. Tommy turns toward him from the driver’s seat with furrowed eyebrows. 
“I’m meeting your entire family together for the first time. How is this about you again?” Tommy asks. Evan must know he means well because there’s a soft smile on his face and he reaches out to grab Tommy’s hand. If he was a lesser man, they might have been shaking. He feels like he might start when Evan’s face turns more serious. 
“You know I haven’t had the best track record with women…” Evan begins.
Tommy can’t help but interrupt. “Good thing I’m not a woman…”
“Not a woman, I know,” Evan finishes the inside joke with him. He’s running his thumb in soft circles over the back of Tommy’s hand, spelling out words Tommy wishes he could decipher. “You’re different in more ways than that, though.” 
Tommy doesn’t speak even though Evan expects it if the long pause he allows says anything. 
“You might not be part of the 118 right now, but you’re as good as family. You’ve worked side-by-side with Hen and Chim, you were part of the first team that Cap led in L.A., and your friendship with Eddie has only grown since we got together.” Evan sighs. “I’ve always been terrified of not being enough so I’ve pushed people like you away. People who I respect, who I envy, who I wish I could be like so that they can’t replace me.” 
“No one can replace you, Evan,” Tommy inserts, even though he knows he doesn’t have to. Evan knows that, but Tommy will never stop reminding him. 
“No, they can’t,” Evan says confidently. Tommy squeezes his hand with pride. “But that makes this—us—all the more serious to me. You’re sticking around for as long as we’ll have each other, and probably after that.” Evan takes a deep breath and, with vulnerability bursting out of his blue eyes, says, “I guess, this is my way of saying that I want you in this family whether you’re with me or not.” 
Tommy practically melts at the words. It’s what he’s wanted since he first hopped in that helicopter, since before his friendship with Eddie or his relationship with Evan. He’s missed Hen and Howie, and he wants to laugh with their wives about stories from their pasts. He wants to get to know the first Captain he met who deserved to be in his position, and say thank you to the first cop to shake his hand when he finally—and accidentally—came out in a fit of frustration. 
Evan knows exactly how much the sentiment means to him, and to hear him say it out loud, makes emotion swell up in his throat. He knows it’s too soon to talk about forever, but he’s never felt something so close. 
“Plus, if they’re your family, too, they can’t be mad at me for not telling them I was bringing you because the invite was implied.” 
With the moment thoroughly broken, Evan jumps out of the car and runs around to open Tommy’s door. Tommy sighs as he exits, but reaches out to hold Evan’s hand anyways.
“You’re an idiot,” Tommy mutters with a shake of his head. 
There’s so much fondness in the words, that he might as well have said I love you. 
Evan’s grin barely falters, and he kisses Tommy’s cheek quickly but firmly. “Yeah, but I’m your idiot.” 
It’s not an I love you, too but one day, Tommy thinks it might be. 
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