#which are just info dumps from the protagonist

[thatwritergirlsblog]

10 worst ways to start a book

1. An irrelevant point of view

It's extremely frustrating as a reader to read the opening scene of a novel, get invested in the story and start rooting for the POV character, only to have that character never show up again or show up as an unimportant character.

Your readers will feel betrayed. Why did they get emotionally invested in this character? Why did they care?

One of the most important functions of your first scene or chapter is introducing your main character and getting the reader to root for them.

Don’t waste that crucial moment on an unimportant POV.

2. Too many characters

Starting to read a new book is usually a bit confusing. You have to get to know new characters, a new world, a new writing style etc.

Don’t add to that confusion by introducing two dozen characters in the opening scene. Readers won’t remember their names or care about them; they’ll just feel overwhelmed and confused.

Additionally, readers will also struggle to root for the main character, because there are too many other people crowding the scene.

3. Telling

My name is Lisa. I’m a short, feisty brunette who loves horse riding. I have two best friends called Anna and Daniel, and we carpool to college every day. I have a crush on Josh, one of my tutors, but he’s twenty-seven and isn’t interested in me.

Telling is boring. It has its place, but the start of your novel is not it. The above paragraph could have been an interesting scene in which you showed the reader all the information via action and dialogue.

Unless you’re using subversion to surprise the reader, e.g., My name is Lisa and I’m a class-three demon, don’t start with telling. 

Immerse the reader in the story through action, dialogue and the senses. Show us who the main character is, don’t just tell us.

4. Description

Please don’t start your book with a page-long description of the setting. In fact, I would recommend not starting with description at all. 

Yes, a few lines of description later in the opening scene is fine. But the reader needs to care first. 

No matter how beautiful your writing is, readers won’t be sucked in by a five-paragraph description of a field.

5. Worldbuilding info dump

Please don’t start your book with an explanation of your world’s climate, politics, history, magic system etc. 

Once again, the reader needs to care first. 

There needs to be action and conflict and a compelling plot. The world exists as a backdrop for the story and the characters – it’s not the protagonist and it shouldn’t take up the opening scene.

6. The dream sequence

The main reason that this is a bad way to start your book is that it’s been done way too many times.

But that’s not the only reason.

It also feels like a betrayal to the reader, because they got invested in the story and the character and the events, and then you tell them it was never real.

And oftentimes the storyline and world of the dream is much more interesting than the actual story, which makes the latter look very boring in comparison.

7. Looking in a mirror

Once again, it’s just been done too much: A character looking in a mirror and describing their physical appearance to the reader. 

Firstly, no one describes their appearance in detail when they look in the mirror.

Secondly, the reader doesn’t even know who this person is. We don’t know if we’re interested in the character yet. We don’t know why we should care. So, we don’t want a detailed description of the character’s appearance right off the bat.

Show us interesting aspects of your main character’s personality, hobbies and life. Weave in physical description as it becomes relevant. It’s not important enough for the very first paragraph.

8. Starting way too early

Yes, most books don’t start with the inciting incident (although I recommend that they do), but the start of your book shouldn’t be too far away from your inciting incident.

So, don’t start with a long scene describing the main character’s everyday life. The readers want the thing to happen.

Providing context and introducing the main character is fine, but don’t leave the reader hanging for too long before you get to the good stuff.

9. Trying too hard

“Your first line has to be amazing and hook the reader. It needs to be something no one has ever read before.”

I bet you’ve heard that piece of advice hundreds of times. It’s not bad advice, but taken to the extreme, it creates an opening that is disjointed, conflated and confusing.

Your first scene should introduce your character, story and voice. So, don’t write a single line of profound purple prose that has very little to do with your actual story as a first line.

Focus on writing a good story. Introduce the reader to the book and make the main character intriguing. You don’t need a mind-blowing first line.

10. The lesson

Most books have a theme or something the author wants to say. Oftentimes, that takes the form of a life lesson.

This is good, but the lesson needs to be subtly woven into the story.

It should not be forced down the reader’s throat in the very first scene.

Don’t tell me what I’m going to learn, show me the lesson through the story.

If you’d like to read a Fantasy Adventure novel that does not have any of these opening mistakes, check out my debut To Wear A Crown.

Reblog if you found this post useful. Comment with your own tips for writing a good opening scene. Follow for similar content.

[mothmans-side-ho]

Armand called Lestat a clown in the most round about way

s2e3 hot wired the two passions in my brain into this info dump, however seeing as a central theme of this episode (and the season) is power, status, and their subversions, it seems relevant. for context, I have 2 degrees in theatre, specifically theatre history and how trends effect form. (I am in no way an expert though, and this is very simplified). long story short, I'm relishing in being a big ol nerd about this entire season

FINALLY, we got to see Lestat (a version of) strutting his stuff on stage in a scene with peak commedia dell'arte shenanigans. Commedia dell'arte is/was an originally Italian form of theatre which was defined by lazzi (comedic bits), improv, and stock characters. these stock characters have been around from Roman times and are still super familiar to us today - the young lovers, the pervy old rich man, the soldier with bravado, etc. It's been seen as a somewhat formulaic form of theatre which relied on quickly identifiable characters and situations so audiences can sit back and enjoy the butt jokes and servant beatings.

In the book - specifically The Vampire Lestat - our beloved Lestat RELISHES in playing a character called Lelio, one of the young lovers. It is in playing Lelio that he "found a tongue for verses and wit [he]'d never had in life" (TVL pg 31). It is in playing Lelio that Lestat first gets a taste of the person he can become, and it is in Lelio that we see the first glimpses of the Lestat which so fully seduces Louis. In short, Lestat casts himself as the suave and handsome romantic protagonist, here to sweep people off their feet. The young lovers are also notably some of the only roles portrayed without masks, to emphasize their youth and natural beauty.

SO IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN LESTAT SHOWS UP IN S2E3 DRESSED LIKE THIS:

He has a half mask! He's wearing all sorts of colors! He's clearly acting as a go between between two other characters who seem to be of a higher status than him! As I said before, commedia dell'arte can be very formulaic (especially by the late 1700s when it is being codified away from being improv focused to being cemented into scripts). From all of these visual and characterization clues, Lestat is not playing Lelio the young lover, he's playing a Harlequin! And his costume seems to be heavily based off of this Harlequin (Arlecchino, Arlecino, etc.) which is literally the wikipedia image of a Harlequin.

(note, if you give a fuck, this image is depicting an Arlechino from 1671, roughly 125 years before Lestat on stage. in my mind, this accounts for the changes in silhouette, styling, why Lestat doesn't wear the mask for the entirety of the performance, etc. Also, just while we're talking about costuming, I believe the late 18th Century was still a time in which actors would have been expected to provide their own costumes, which would explain why Lestat's version is made with expensive fabrics and includes cunty little details like the bow in his hair. At the very least, I can see him making looking good a priority as the owner of the theater and as...well...Lestat.)

Okay, okay, okay. Why does this matter?

Harlequins are not characters of any social status. They're servants who are quick witted enough to get into antics but stupid enough to be commanded by animalistic instincts (lust, food, you name it). The Harlequin being beaten by their master was ENORMOUSLY funny, and is the origin of the term "slapstick comedy". They a memorable iteration of clown.

In this scene, which I'm willing to bet was inspired by (if not outright) Carlo Goldoni's A Servant of Two Masters, Lestat plays a servant who interacts with two characters. One appears to be a young woman in a breeches part - another common trope of commedia performance. The other appears to be the young male lover! We see Lestat prancing between the two, seemingly facilitating some romance plot, being paid for his compliance, and doing a good ol fashioned butt lazzi. (Could he be presenting his ass for beating? Maybe.)

So why is Lestat not the young valiant lover, but instead A LITERAL CLOWN? Three potential, not conflicting, reasons. By the time Lestat is performing (mid to late 1790s, based off Armand's earlier comment about Robespierre's 1794 execution), the Harlequin characters were the most sought after roles! At this time, we are seeing the emergence of "Celebrity Culture" where audiences sought out actors for their off-stage personalities as much as their on-stage ones. This is an extremely fitting position for Lestat to fall into. Yay a semblance of historical accuracy!

Secondly, Lestat's ENTIRE ROLE in season two is to come between this season's new pair of young(ish) lovers: Louis & Armand. Lestat's function is to repeatedly detract and distract from their relationship through Dreamstat's antics (appearing at the piano calling Louis a whore, having Louis re-kill him, etc.). Additionally, simply put, Lestat (and Sam Reid as Lestat) is a lot of fun to watch. He is absolutely a stand out (if not THE stand out) of the show! His constant ability to serve cunt is often what your eye is drawn to, he pulls focus to himself, and often undercuts the more subdued, philosophical, and morose nature of others. Both on-stage and on-screen, Lestat continuously upstages his screen partners. He does kinda function as a Harlequin. But in the end, the Harlequin's antics are also what ultimately drive the young lovers together. If not for Lestat's actions, Louis and Armand would have never met nor bonded over knowing this fucked up brat prince.

But we also have to remember! This portion of the episode is presented by Armand the mind fuckery master. It is absolutely in his best interests to paint Lestat as some sort of ridiculous, lesser being driven by animalistic nature. Especially if - by extension of the metaphor - this frames he and Louis as the virtuous and optimistic young lovers, striving to cling to each other in a world of chaos. I would be EXTREMELY interested to see if, when recollected by someone else, Lestat appears in a different role or characterized differently.

Again, given the celebrity culture of the time and Lestat being himself, it is entirely believable that he would appear in the Harlequin role (Truffaldino, if this is Goldoni's Servant). However, I think it's extremely telling that in Armand's iteration of the story Lestat is not the dignified, refined, and sympathetic young romantic. He is instead a literal fucking clown.

[eerna]

How would you describe the face shapes and facial features of The Lunar Chronicles girls? (Since you draw them so beautifully, I wanna know how you figured out what features to give them based off the info the books give us. Plus I began to imagine cinder's face looking exactly like your art).

Also what undertones do you give them (you don't gotta be specific, just list whether they're cool or warm). oh! You can info-dump if you want. I find it really helpful.

Yayyy thanks for the compliments and for asking this, I love talking about why I draw faces the way I do!! :D

Ok so first off here's an explanation of my general book character design process which I will base these descriptions on. For TLC specifically the canon descriptions are based not only on the books, but also this guide from MM's website.

CINDER

The starting canon point was ambiguously mixed (but definitely Asian), tan, brown upturned eyes, mousy brown hair in a ponytail, tall, all angles, boyish build and clothes. I HC her as specifically Cambodian (based on her family names and general description), so I based her features on it. She is characterized as brave and decisive ina protagonist way, so I gave her an oval face shape because ovals are serious and constant, and thick eyebrows to intensify her expressions. She sees herself as unfeminine, so I gave her thin lips and short, brown eyelashes. She is always messy and unkempt because of her work, so I gave her an uneven, shaggy haircut to match (inspired by Link LoZ for absolutely no reason). But she is also an awkward nerd, which I integrated through her big, goofy ears. I give her a warm undertone to match her eyes and offset her desaturated hair.

SCARLET

The starting canon point was white skin, curly ginger hair, super freckled, very feminine build, full lips, farmer girl vibes. Her color scheme is very low contrast with hair, eyebrows and eyes that are all within the same value range, because at one point she is described as soft curve shaped as opposed to Cinder's sharp angles, and I wanted to bring out that softness not only in shapes but colors too. She is also brave and decisive, but in a mean old lady way, so I gave her a long, pointy face to match it. I should def give her more defined curls than I usually do. I don't often color her so I thinkkkk I mostly give her a cool undertone, but it's inconsistent.

CRESS

The starting canon point was super pale white skin, nose freckles, heart shaped face, extremely messy wavy honey blond hair, sky blue eyes, super tiny. Everything about her is supposed to scream "pure sweet innocent little baby who never did anything wrong in her life" (even if it isn't the exact truth), and her face is based on a girl I saw at school when I was a teen. Her eyebrows and eye shape are anime inspired because I was an anime fan and so was MM. I give her a cold undertone.

WINTER

The starting canon point was very dark skin, Black, three scars on her right cheek, and a ton of other descriptions because she is the most beautiful girl in the galaxy and the epitome of soft, gentle, princessy femininity. We're talking full lips, gently curving features, insane eyelashes, etc. Her scars should realistically be darker, but the description of them resembling tears and their symbolism of Winter choosing to stick out like a sore thumb stuck so far into my brain that I simply gotta make use of artistic license in this case. I went for 3C type hair and its shape fits the cloud-like dreamy vibe she embodies while keeping to the glossy corkscrew description. Her eyes and lips are her mother's, and thus bear resemblance to Levana's. I give her a warm undertone.

IKO

The starting canon point was light brown skin, golden eyes, button nose, blue braids with golden accessories, and capitalist-made beauty. She is fun, fashionable, and flirty, so her color palette is braver and more expressive than the other girls'. Her beauty is noticeable, but man-made as a product instead of Winter's natural appeal. Her undertone is sometimes cold and sometimes warm because it makes the various color combos easier to execute, and also she is an android so I bet it is possible to do it anyway.

Hope this was interesting~

[r0t-t1ngxeyy]

*~•`°🌟 LEVIATHAN HEADCANONS

Because he's silly asf

Get it up - Mindless Self Indulgence (A song he'd listen to im not gonna lie)

I think we can all agree he might be on the spectrum autism right??? Right????

He literally info dumps Mc and that's like the first interaction where he isn't stuttering or degrading himself!! He's into TSL, Ruri chan, and that idol group too ig👽

100% chubby. That or if he does work out, probably a sleeper build. But I'm sticking to him being a lil chubby!!

Unlike Beel, he doesn't really work out so the stuff he eats which mostly is junk food (Cup noodles and what not) give into his chub:33 I think he might run around anime cons or work out a bit to impress his stream though lol!!

He definitely streams 100%!! There's probably a whole group of deviltubers he's in as well.

He probably mostly streams fps games, horror games (he's a pussy though), and sometimes shitty dating sims just for a good laugh. This might actually be canon but I don't remember

Pale. Not heavenly pale, sickly pale.

Unlike Asmodeus or even Satan, he looks like a horror game protagonist kinda pale LOLL!!

You'd catch him in his demon form all the time

He just fucks heavy with it. It's comforting actually!! It gives him a sense of strength. A reminder that he's the Avatar of Envy, not just some otaku. So..it's more of an ego-boost lol

Chronically online. Heavily chronically online!!

Ever since the fall, he's been cooped up all his life in Devildom. Soon discovering that an online presence might not be too bad, he dives wayy too deep into the depths for his own good. The internet was his coping mechanism, and still is. Even if he does go outside (every once in a while) he's always on his phone.

So he unironically uses internet slang irl. Ranging from simple 'Omg', 'Lol' to full blown 'backspace', 'F', 'Why are you talking to me in caps'. He swears it's just a joke but his streams prove otherwise.

"That's so cancel worthy"

"Mogged that shit up right there"

Probably an incel (As a joke) (He wouldn't actually)

He watches female streamers, not just any BUT specifically Female Vtubers. It's just so funny to think of holy moly!!! Most of the time he makes fan accounts online as a joke but it can get out of hand

[rascalentertainments]

Wish Granted AU: Flazino

Now the sorcerers' overworked, underappreciated, underpaid, incredibly tired apprentice, Flazino! I keep laughing at the fact that this guy has more depth to him than half the cast of the canon movie. 😂 He went from throwaway character to a nearly co-protagonist character with importance to the story!

His design was inspired by several Disney characters. The outfit and hair are a reference to Arthur/Wart from "The Sword in the Stone". The face and body language is based on George from the Paperman short film (Remember how great that was? And it mastered the 2D/3D hybrid animation long before Wish? What happened to those animators, Disney?)

(You can even use this concept art as reference for Flazino if you want too, especially that pissed off look 😂)

And I swear it wasn't on purpose, but as I started drawing him tired, he started resembling Bruno. All his references are from overworked or stressed out characters and I didn't even do it on purpose! 😂

Now for some backstory and info dump! This was pretty fun because I got to create my own take on him since there's practically nothing on him outside of a deleted scene.

• Like the aforementioned deleted scene, Flazino's wish is to study magic. For this story, its so he can help others lives be better, which is what he thought Magnifico wanted as well. He thought the job would be more glamorous or fun as he learned, but it turns out Mags doesn't actually want a successor. He plans on being in power permanently. He pretends he granted Flaz's wish and instead of studying magic, he's the errand boy, cleans the lab equipment, feeds Sabor, and is in charge of the tour guides for newcomers. Flazino just practices what he can at home and secretly takes ingredients from Amaya's potion cabinet.

•No one's sure if the bags under his eyes are from losing his wish and side effects starting, or its just him being stressed out all the time. Either way he's like Aled, he doesn't sleep much cause he's always working or worrying. He's sort of sassy when he's really tired so he might make an off hand comment. Bonus: He swears, but its censored in the "Spongebob Sailor Mouth" style. You'll just hear a noise or beep censorship sound in place of it. 😂 (Hey, you can say "Hell" and "Damn" in a Pixar movie now, so why not?)

•He gave his wish at 18, and was surprised to hear it was getting granted so soon. Though Mags doesn't really need an apprentice, he takes Flaz on just in case something happened to him, all of his magic, power and evil will go into the apprentice. Sort of passing on his plans to him to become the next Magnifico and continue his work. That's pretty terrifying.

• Most people in the Hamlet think that he and Asha are secretly a thing, but that's not the case. Lord knows Sabino wanted his granddaughter to get a boyfriend so she'd stop being so serious all the time. They never really had feelings like that for each other, they just stayed friends. One part is because Asha has just sealed herself off from connecting deeper with other people, and on Flaz's side, he already has feelings for someone else. (Also, after Star shows up and spends time with Asha, she starts feeling things for him she's been repressing for years. Girl, chill.-)

• During the first few months of becoming the apprentice, he learned about the Hamlet through rumors in Rosas. He didn't understand why people would run away until he stumbles on seeing the king and queen crush the wishes of a couple who talked about leaving Rosas and not trusting the royals. He never saw that couple again.

He later took off one night into the forest to finds this supposed Hamlet using a tracking spell. Once he finds it, Sabino and other people tell him why they ran and what a monster the royal could be. Flazino felt so disgusted that he promised to help anyway he could. So he makes an excuse to get specialty mushroom from the Uncharted Forest once a month and brings supplies to the Hamlet ever since. (stuff like seeds to grow food, flour, medicine, toys for the kids)

• A lot of the people actually go to Flazino if they can't get to the king for help improving the kingdom, or people needing help. The royals don't do crap, so he just does the best he can himself. But most people don't realize he's the one that granting their needs and not the royals.

• His connection to the 7 Teens actually foreshadows Asha bringing them together. Like the deleted scene suggested, they all know him as the "great apprentice to the king", when he's really just a tired guy trying not lose his sanity. He has different interactions with each of them.

Gabo is the one shouting that the royals are evil like a conspiracy theorist, but since he's such a low threat, they send Flazino to get rid of him and everytime he gets away. Gabo's been a nuisance for months now and he's even defacing anything with the royals on it. He actually agrees with Gabo, but obviously can't say it out loud.

For Simon, he tries to keep him awake when he can for his knight training, or guard duty so its his way of trying to help fulfill his wish of being a knight. He's tired himself, so its even harder.

Safi is allergic to practically everything when he cleans, so Flaz has an idea to make a medicine that can cure that through magic. He has no idea its just so he can talk to the girl he likes without sneezing in someone's face. 😂

Hal is one of the easiest he gets along with. She's pretty content where she is and gets along with him fine. Though he gets roped into doing some of her work when he's not paying attention, lol. If she does see an injustice being done to someone else she'll step in to help them.

Bazeema he's not even sure what she thinks of him. She's so shy whenever he talks to her, all he knows is that she does a great job caring for the local animals and flora in the kingdom, which he's thanked her many times for. Though she has been leaving him yellow roses as thank you messages.

Dahlia is actually the one he bonds with the best. He ends up talking to her when its time for Sabor's breakfast or dinner and she makes the food by hand with her parents. At first he just talked to her out of convenience and vent a little bit about being overworked (much to his surprise, she's actually listening). Then the two of them just found some comfort in talking to each other when they've had a long day and now its developed into a full-on crush for him. But with Dahlia going all fangirl on Magnifico, he doesn't have high hopes the feelings mutual. (She's been dropping hints but he's not getting it)

So I guess we got three Flazinos right now: RFTS!Flaz who actually likes his job and still wants to learn magic, UaS!Flaz who's a prince of the evil royals, and then WG!Flaz is an overworked man who wants to hurt his bosses. Y'all need therapy. 😂

(So now, Chapter 6 of WG will be out tomorrow! 😏)

@signed-sapphire @oh-shtars @annymation @chillwildwave

@uva124 @ishadow246 @tumblingdownthefoxden @your-ne1ghbor

@mythartist21 @gracebethartacc @emptyblog7 @spectator-zee

@lazytitans-world @emillyverse @flicklikesstuff @kenihewa

@snackara @wings-of-sapphire @natsuki208

[carlyraejepsans]

If you are going to make a game here’s some things that might be helpful!

Game engines:

Godot: very new dev friendly and it’s free. Has its own programming language (GDscript) but also supports C#. It’s best for 2D games but it can do 3D also.

Unity: I don’t even know if I should be recommending Unity. It has caused me much pain and the suffering. But Unity has an incredible amount of guides and tutorials. And once you get the hang of something it’s hard to get caught on the same thing again. It also has a great Visual Studio integration and uses C#. I will warn you the unity animator is where all dreams go to die. It’s a tedious process but you can probably get some plugins to help with that.

Unreal: Don’t use it unless you’re building a very large or very detailed 3D game. It also uses C++ which is hell.

Renpy: Made for visual novels but has support for small mini games. It only supports Python iirc. Basically if you’re making a VN it’s renpy all the way otherwise you should look elsewhere.

What to learn: Game design and how to act as your own game designer. As a designer you need to know if a part of your game isn’t meshing with the rest of it and be willing to give up that part if needed. Also sound design is very important as well. If you want to make your own sounds audacity is perfect for recording and cutting up your clips. If you want to find sound effects I recommend freesound.org and the YouTube royalty free music database.

Sadly I can’t recommend a lot of places to learn this stuff because I’m taking Game Development in Uni. So most of my info comes from my lectures and stuff. One of my game design textbooks is pretty good but it’s around $40 CAD. It’s called the game designers playbook by Samantha Stahlke and Pejman Mirza-Babaei if you’re interested (fun fact there’s a photo of Toriel in there)

Anyway sorry for dumping this large ask on you I’m just really passionate about game design and I like to see other people get into it.

please do not apologize I'd never heard half of this stuff so this is super useful!! I've seen some godot tutorials on YouTube although so far I've played around with RPG maker MV (it was on sale. very very fiddly interface, i had trouble getting around it) and gamemaker, which recently became free for non-commercial use (a lot more approachable on first impact but like i said, haven't really done anything substantial in either yet).

mostly, I'm still in the super vague stage. I've got an idea for the main story conflict, the protagonist and their foil, the general aesthetic i want to go for (likely 2D graphics, but it would be cool to make like. small cutscenes in low-poly 3D) but not much else. haven't exactly decided on the gameplay either! it's gonna necessarily be rpg-esque, but I'm not much of a fan of classic turn-based combat so. I'm gonna check out other games and see if i can frankenstein anything cooler :P

[physalian]

Segway Characters (Or when your protagonist knows jack about the story)

This is the protagonist of a sci-fi or fantasy world, generally a nobody who gets dragged in either by circumstance or by being the long-lost-something prophesied to save the realm. They know absolutely nothing about the plot, the other characters, the magic system, or the new world, the audience proxy that asks all the questions on the audience’s behalf.

I call them Segways (read; not segue) because they look dumb and you ride their ass through the narrative.

This is a very, very broad concept for a protagonist, everybody from a superhero origin story to Harry Potter, as opposed to a character like James Bond, an expert in their craft and a *seasoned protagonist*.

Segways usually aren’t a problem… until it becomes rather painfully obvious that they only exist to be the audience proxy to ask those questions, when another character could and should be the protagonist because they’re far more interesting, usually because the protagonist is way less cool and active in the plot than their constituents. Or, they’re a perfectly fine character, but the exposition dumping to them is sloppy and unrefined.

The difference between just a protagonist and a Segway is how smoothly they integrate into that story.

So.

—

Inception

I love this movie. It has inspired so much of my writing.

Ariadne is a poster child of Segway characters. Aside from the villain, Mal, she’s the only woman in the cast, and though Dom (DiCaprio) is the hero, Ariadne is his protege, the audience vector through which all the world mechanics and important backstory stuff is told. Every other character already knows how dream heists work and who Mal is, so explaining redundant information between experts would look weird—enter the Segway, Ariadne.

For what it’s worth, she’s not useless otherwise. She’s the new ‘architect,’ she builds the mazes the rest of the team runs through and is the innocent cinnamon roll dragged into problems that Dom created. Her name could not be a more heavy-handed symbol.

She’s active in the story and her perspective foils against Dom’s well enough, but Inception is a movie with layers and an infamous amount of necessary exposition to understand the story. Someone has to be there to ask all the questions the audience has. Ariadne unfortunately gets the lion’s share, instead of the script figuring out how to weave more of it into the interactions of the other characters. They spent so much time on the complex narrative it’s like they forgot about a layman audience and threw her in too late for a seamless integration.

—

Netflix’s The Old Guard is better than it should be, given its budget. I didn’t read the comic it was based on and have no idea if Nile’s character is the same in the original, but she’s another Segway with only one reason for existing in the plot otherwise: Andy’s got to pass the torch to someone.

Yes she comes to save them in the end and yes, her advantage in the story is being unknown to the villains, but she’s there, in this version of the story, so the other four heroes can info-dump to her about all manner of things from how immortality works to their backstories to the setup for the sequel the movie never got.

I just rewatched it recently and if the script just had two or three passes to tackle the exposition problem, it could have off-loaded some of the burden onto other characters, or better told it through action, and not just info-dumpy monologues. When the movie came out I remember a critic I like commenting that it could have been a more interesting story if it had been told from the sympathetic villain’s perspective (Not Dudley’s). As in, if he was on a mission with all his conspiracy-level research and dedication to track these people down, throwing out his own theories for them to then correct or something.

Like this, the story is just waiting for Nile to ask the right questions. Nothing is volunteered freely without Nile directly asking for it, because it runs into the same problem as Inception: Every other character already knows everything, and they wouldn’t exposit to each other.

—

A lot of isekai anime also do this. I’ve tried getting into older, tentpole shows like Sailor Moon and Bleach and Yu Yu Hakusho and I don’t know what it is about anime pilot episodes, even modern ones but particularly the old ones, the exposition dumping is atrocious. To the point where it feels like they all know it and are like “listen just bear with us and we’ll get this done fast and sloppy and get to the good stuff later”.

I just can’t. I think I made it 15 minutes into Bleach before noping out of there years ago.

—

Obviously all these movies and shows have their fans, but if you’re a writer struggling with exposition or noticed this trend like me, here’s some suggestions to avoid the need to info-dump, assuming you do want to keep your Segway.

Try not to give all the exposition questions to one character, and don’t wait for that character to ask, out-of-character on behalf of the audience, what’s going on in the story. Instead, let it flow more naturally in conversation and let the more experienced characters brainstorm with each other, or let the protagonist uncover some of this information actively on their own through other means, for variety’s sake.

Figure out a reason why these questions are necessary to the story in this moment. Why is the hero asking now, as opposed to any other time? You can also let the hero draw their own conclusions and have the other characters correct their misassumptions, feeding that information in a more natural way.

Give the hero more to do in the story beyond being the exposition vehicle right from the start. I don’t care if they’re the chosen one and the plot just falls into their lap, why are they the chosen one?

Spread out the exposition to come only when it’s necessary. Front-loading it can tarnish the immersion and overwhelm the audience, especially if it’s complex, or if there’s a lot of it. You can pepper it all the way through the story if you want.

If you really want to front-load it, you can go to the extremes and slap in a prologue or meta-narrative dump that’s fun and entertaining from a third person omniscient perspective. First thing that comes to mind is the opening 2D scene from Kung Fu Panda that covers a lot of ground. Go ham.

None of these characters are bad, I just think with a few more rounds of revisions and forethought, they could have been integrated better into their stories.

[goingbuggy]

What is your favourite and your least favourite buggy moment?

AH! I love this question. My personal favorite moment is the scene in Impel Down where Luffy gives Captain John's armband to Buggy. I made a whole thread on Twitter breaking down exactly why I love it so much; it's such a criminally underrated moment for his character and reflective of all the potential he has.

As for my least favorite, I guess I'd have to say... the scene in Loguetown where Buggy stages Luffy's execution? It's not out of character for him to act the way he does -- not at all -- it's just that, with what we know now, revisiting that arc leaves much to be desired. Loguetown is such an important setting for Buggy: it's where he parted ways with Shanks, lost his captain, and solidified his life's direction. However, watching Loguetown Arc, we don't see much of a reaction from him besides his desire for revenge, which I find strange. Luffy's almost-execution in particular is what leaves me semi-frustrated.

Oda might not have had everything worked out about Buggy's character at the time of that arc's initial release in 1999, but in hindsight, it just feels chock-full of missed opportunities. Considering OPLA has yet to delve into Buggy's backstory, I think the upcoming Loguetown Arc would be a great way to retroactively give Buggy's presence more weight. Loguetown could easily trigger his memories of the past; then, instead of info-dumping, the flashback could double as both exposition and further insight into his character. Perhaps it comes to him as a traumatic flashback, in bits and pieces. How would he feel, being on the same exact execution platform where his captain died, this time being the man holding the sword? Would he hesitate, realizing what he's doing? Would he recognize the parallels?

I think Buggy ultimately giving in to his desire for revenge against Luffy would demonstrate how he always holds himself back. OPLA's whole "map-MacGuffin" ordeal twists Buggy's character in a different direction by implying that there's only one map to the Grand Line that he could get to start his journey (seriously, how is there only one map everyone is fighting over), but in the manga, it's clear that Buggy already had a map. He says he planned to start doing business in the Grand Line, but considering how much time he spent in East Blue, it makes you wonder... why wasn't he doing that years ago? The Doylist answer is, of course, that our protagonist needs to find him first, but narratively speaking, Buggy certainly did not need to wait as long as he did. Luffy is the one who truly gave him the push he needed; Buggy was wading in shallow waters because he couldn't bring himself to take the plunge. His grudges, his insecurities: they weigh him down. He believed he had no potential, but that was always an excuse, a self-fulfilling prophecy -- it was because of that lack of faith in himself that he limited his own potential.

And where does that all lead him? To Loguetown: the same place where he started. How stifling that is for his character -- how eye-opening. Ironically, Loguetown Arc feels similar to Buggy himself; it could be so much more, but it feels restricted by the time in the narrative in which it was placed. I don't dislike the scene at all, but it's frustrating to have such a perfect moment for his character and yet no substantial takeaways. It's good foreshadowing for Buggy's past, sure, but it could be even better if we saw a wider range of his emotions. His entire past doesn't have to be revealed in Loguetown, but his actions and dialogue should better reflect what it means for him to be there.

[cutebutalsostabby]

iirc you said in another post that the time between ALTTP and OOT was either 80 or 400 years. i haven’t played ALTTP yet but love timelines - are those numbers in the game somewhere?

I think I came up with those specific figures myself, BUT I do have some in-game and official text basis for them! The reason for the 80 year vs 400 years (or even longer) options is that there is actually some pretty big inconsistency between a) various parts of the game itself, b) the official game booklet, and c) Nintendo's big ole retcon of the Imprisoning War. Or possibly retCONS if we count TotK.

(Idk if you wanted an info dump, but you're getting one lol. THANKS FOR THE ASK!! 💜)

SO. The intro cutscene.

We start by hearing of legends from long ago, about a Golden Power that resides in a hidden land. Many people tried to find it; none ever returned. One day, evil power began to flow forth (we later learn this was due to Ganondorf finding the Triforce), so the King told the sages (originally translated as "Wise Men") to seal the Golden Land away for good. The narrator then describes those events as occurring so long ago that they became legend. Sounds like a while, right?

But then within about an hour or two of gameplay, you meet Sahrasrahla. Sahasrala? Saharasala? YOU MEET MR SALSA. And he ends up telling you a story about the knights that fought to protect the sages and who were almost all killed at the time, leaving YOU, the protagonist, as the last known member of that bloodline. According to Mr Salsa, those events took place only three or four generations ago.

That's not long at all! I mean, the exact numbers may vary depending on whether it's 3-4 generations from Salsa-san's point of view or Link's, as well as whether we give that person a human lifespan or an elf one (ALTTP has some Western fantasy elements, but the later games suggest that Hylians are basically just humans with pointy ears), but that would be where my ~80 years figure came from.

One of the later bits of dialogue then mentions Ganondorf rediscovering the Golden Land after the knowledge of it was lost - which may explain the discrepancy between the intro cutscene and Sahasralah(?)'s own dialogue. (I'm taking screenshots from Youtube FYI - see cutscene compilation here.)

All good so far?

WELP. THEN WE HAVE THE GAME BOOKLET.

By "game booklet" I mean the little brochure thing that used to come with physical games up until someone decided they weren't necessary. Boo and bah humbug. But I digress.

The original booklet for ALTTP, which you can find online, says that the Imprisoning War took place centuries ago. It also adds a bunch of other new lore details, including Ganondorf's last name, Dragmire - which never actually appears in-game. Both of those things are however missing from the truncated lore dump you get in the Gameboy Advance release's booklet:

And then there's Nintendo's Fallen Hero retcon. Lol.

See, the original "Imprisoning War" from ALTTP went something like this:

Ganondorf found an entrance to the Sacred Realm (formerly "Golden Land") and went in. Much like the others before him, he was then stuck there forever. UNLIKE the others before him however, he then randomly stumbled across the Triforce, which offered him the power to make a wish.

He made some unspecified wish along the lines of "I want to take over the world". As a result, the Sacred Realm became the Dark World and started to leak evil magic and demons into the Light World (aka "Overworld").

The knights fought against the demons, allowing the sages to seal the entrances ro the Sacred Realm. Note it's unclear if they even knew about Ganondorf's existence at this point.

Sometime later, Ganondorf manages to partially break free, and sends his alter ego Agahnim out to break the seal on the Sacred Realm and merge the two worlds into one.

And then we have Nintendo's retcon, which introduces the whole idea of the Fallen Hero - as a means of clumsily tying ALTTP to Ocarina of Time. So instead of the above:

Ganondorf publicly swears allegiance to the King of Hyrule, only to later backstab him and take over the castle. He then follows Link into the Temple of Time and grabs hold of the Triforce while the latter goes to take a nice long nap. He only manages to claim part of the Triforce (Power), so his wish remains incomplete. The other parts go to Link (Courage) and Zelda (Wisdom).

Seven years later, Link challenges Ganondorf to an epic showdown and loses. Ganondorf claims the remaining parts of the Triforce and uses them to transform into the Demon King. The seven sages, Zelda included, then seal both Ganon and the Triforce away in the Sacred Realm.

The names of the seven sages (per OoT) eventually become the names of the towns in Zelda II. Any remaining discrepancies are handwaved away as unreliable narrators.

Interestingly, TotK's Imprisoning War is much closer to ALTTP's version than Hyrule Historia's - which makes me wonder if that whole retcon is doomed to be retconned once again. Of course, the Triforce isn't present at all within TotK, but it's also a pretty compelling reason for why seven sages with secret stones couldn't win against the one guy with a secret stone. So there’s that.

But yeah, going back to that initial question: no, there's no specific figure provided for the time between the Imprisoning War and events of ALttP. Just depends on which piece of conflicting lore you feel like using lol.

[laurenfoxmakesthings]

I've been holding this news to my chest for quite a while…I've been interviewed about my book and the spin-off series based on The Man From C.A.M.P. I've been developing, Agents of C.A.M.P.

The first book will have ace and aro non-binary protagonists!

I'll admit, not everything from the interview could make it in, and understandably so. The article goes into more of the history than I originally thought, it goes into the foundation and Maggie Weadick, which I always knew (at first just Maggie was going to be interviewed).

The Agents of C.A.M.P. series in this article was essentially a damn good third act and an announcement. There was no way all of my autistic-motivated info-dumping and gushing was going to fit, I knew that.

Like, the fact that it took years of re-reading some of the books on-and-off as a fan before it became a hyperfixation out of necessity for the spin-off. Or how all that research thanks to those libraries was to piece together the unofficial final out-of-print novel of the original series. Or how 'The Golden Doppelbangers' title is also inspired by the Dr Goldfoot films (for good reason *wink*)

However, here, and here only, I was add a few things that I'm eager to share now that this project is more public. Supplementary material. Extra goodies for the people interested, let's say.

Firstly, the other protagonist. I'm happy Quant is introduced to a lot of people in this article, especially considering how fulfilling it has been to write the flamboyant, confident asexual character I always wanted to see (I've noticed allos can't really imagine ace characters being anything except demure, reserved, and deadpanned, and I'm tired of that). But Quant is one protagonist out of two, and not even the novel's main POV protagonist.

The other protagonist is Sypretes Arsénios. An aromantic, genderfluid lesbian, archer, and art thief. Their whole deal is they've been on a years-long quest to recover queer art looted by Nazis. But now that quest is finished. They can't return to their old life and they can't bring themself to giving up their current one, at best now stealing queer art to make a statement. And that's where Quant comes in, recruiting Sypretes as their new partner in C.A.M.P.

They're your eyes, being introduced to C.A.M.P. in the modern day, and asking the questions that need to be asked.

The first thought I had about this novel was that the protagonists had to be an ace and an aro. As an ace myself, I know how tiresome it is to be the afterthought in the queer community. This will not be the case here, aces and aros are in the first book and more will come.

And I wanted ensure aroallos, queer folks we hardly ever see in stories, gets represented with Sypretes. Due to this amatonormative world seeing aroallos as cold 'at best' and predatory at worst, plenty of creators seem uncomfortable to even try to represent them. As though sex isn't 'exploitative' if there's a potential for romance. That rhetoric is much more conservative than people think, so I say screw that. In this novel, platonic relationships are worth more than gold, whether sex is involved or not.

I probably already hinted at this on tumblr, but this novel is about sexbots. One reason I did this is because aces and aros are often compared to robots, and I wanted to show how untrue that is. Especially with Sypretes and how much of a caring lover they are.

Secondly, I want to talk about C.A.M.P. itself. I definitely get why even other queer folks might give the side-eye to novels starring queer secret agents. The reason why a lot of us don't trust the series Q-Force (and I agree). A lot of us know real government agencies in charge of espionage have screwed over marginalised groups, including the LGBTIQA+ community. COINTELPRO. Operation Condor. The Lavender Scare. And many, many more atrocities. It doesn't make any of it better if the government agent is queer.

Here's the thing. I wouldn't have been interested in the original series at all if the series' protagonist Jackie Holmes was 'a CIA agent but gay'. C.A.M.P. isn't a government organisation. Since the original series in the 1960s, C.A.M.P. has been a secret underground independent organisation dedicated to advancing and protecting the LGBTIQA+ community, through many different branches.

Each branch focused on a different subject matter through a queer lens. One of which is the 'special services' branch, essentially the secret agents/detectives. I won't give everything they do away, but in short, when there's a hate group threatening the community, it's the agents' job to punch them and stop them.

Agents of C.A.M.P. will have more in common with Leverage than James Bond. Even the original Man From C.A.M.P. series was more inspired by James Bond's aesthetic than the franchise's authoritarian ethos.

Now, the original series wasn't perfect, for instance some of Jackie Holmes' missions/novels didn't involve the point of C.A.M.P. because of elements that haven't aged well. I've been intent on dealing with the original series' problems thanks to researching the lore (I know a lot of people hate that word now, but it's what I got). While also making sure both the series and the in-universe organisation are much more intersectional and much more focused on fighting fascists.

Thirdly, I'll admit, I'm a slow writer. It doesn't help that my book has ballooned bigger than I intended (as apparently any creative project I do does) and the plot is now too tight to break and cut. I'm nowhere near the end of the first draft yet, though I've been finding more ways to write more often as possible.

My point is if my novel's release date (there isn't one yet) gets delayed, maybe delayed more than once: please don't blame the Victor J Banis Family Foundation or speculate the worst case scenario. It would be me being slow and too thorough for my own good.

I don't want to end on that note though. Now that this project is way more public, I would be more than happy to answer any questions about Agents of C.A.M.P., my novel 'The Golden Doppelgangers', maybe even the original Man From C.A.M.P. series, or anything else relevant.

[heckinrissa]

FUCKING MY TSP LORE UUUHHHHH (UPDATED)

Was asked about it so I just made this. More of an info dump really.

Also I’m not a writer so if this is bad then oops

Overall

Narun (Narrator) & Stanley

Narun is a coded being, more formally known as N.A. run, with control of the office that Stanley did actually work at.

He was created to be more advanced that the workers to speed up some processes. He resides in the office’s computers and servers/cloud, making him a sentient ai that has more power than he shows. Narun's creation happens 52 years before the events of The Stanley Parable.

Eventually Narun gets fed up with being used by these lowlifes for these boring tasks, he needs something more. He spends a couple of years studying the workers until he decided to use 427 as his little protagonist in a story that he created himself and is quite proud of. He has everything laid out, but he just needs permission from any living employee to gain the full control he desires. He goes into Stanley’s computer and rewrites his button commands to make it seem like it’s just a regular task, but in actuality it lends Narrator the last thing he needs. Once he successfully tricks Stanley, he then deletes all the workers (including employee 432) and traps Stanley in the parable that he created and thus the Stanley Parable was born. Stanley constantly beats himself up over the fact that he inadvertently killed his coworkers and friends.

Sometimes Stanley chooses to be so antagonistic outta pure spite and hatred. Even despite Narun’s pleading, he sometimes just does not give a shit (any right door ending).

Curator & 432

Curator was an ai created before Narun, but was way more tame and used for storing files and what not. This is why she’s more tame than Narun. Narun doesn’t know she exist since she’s not a threat to his game, so she just kinda goes with the flow and hangs out in the museum. When 432 was deleted (whose name was Taksheel, but they dont remember that), Curator found scattered files of them, more importantly their consciousness. No other employee was saved, just 432. Curator managed to throw a body together for 432, but it was far from perfect. Thus creating 432’s arms to be more like a ribbon/scarf and the half and the resoning for the glitched face.

432 is pissed at Narun for trying to get rid of them so they act more like a virus to the game. The skip button, for instance, doesn’t function properly due to 432’s influence. Narun believes that he is the only ‘sentient’ ai in his parable, which is why he freaks out a bit when he finds that the trophy machine works without him fixing it.

Timeline

Half Life Mod

First, TSP Half life mod occurs first. Narun's appearance is that of a mobster due to him trying to be threatening/intimidating to Stanley. His demeanor is colder and more artificial. More of the villain type to start off. A sadistic man who sees Stanley as nothing more than a plaything to amuse himself with. He made his model to be 5'11, thinking he would be taller than Stanley, but he fucks up as Stanley is 6'7 and now his model is stuck being shorter.

TSP (2013)

Next, the 2013 version. Narun has learned to make his line delivers more authentic and emotional to really sell his story. His personality is now more dorky, a stark contrast from before when in reality it was just hidden. Narun then feels like his Half Life Mod form is a bit too much and wants to make it more welcoming. He takes his inspiration for his new form from many aspects of the workers before the deletion, using that to his advantage. His form glitches due to it not being a perfect model and sometimes he becomes all fucked up on accident unprompted. He took the sweater from an online shop that someone was looking at and went “Yeah I like that.” and added some personal touches.

432 has been "rebirthed", but has not found away to fuck with the game yet.

TSP: Ultra Deluxe

Narun is now very accustomed to human emotions and what not. He feels confident (like REAL confidence) for once in his existence. He's more passionate, therefore more sensitive about his story, himself, and even Stanley. He starts to actually care for once, but still has his manipulate and villain-esque moments. He dresses up more to really show off anything (TSP 2 exhibit). He even comes to terms and shows remorse for killing all of Stanley's co workers, causing the two to actually bond and get on somewhat good terms.

Here 432 has learned how to make themselves known. Using that to get to Stanley under Narun's nose.

During the Skip Button Ending, Narun doesnt die, but gets more and more infected by a virus due to 432's meddling. Each time the button is pressed, the more infected he becomes. It gets so bad that Narun rambles, glitches, repeats lines, etc. Its painful too, the times where Narun isnt speaking at all is where he is basically silently writhing in pain, the glitching making him twitch and have his eyes and mouth glitch out as well. Once everything resets, Narun forgets about it and is basically rebooted, but he still feels a pit in his stomach when being abandoned.

When it comes to the epilogue, Stanley is kinda trapped in a limbo. Not really the real world, but not really in the game either. Narun has no control or any presence in this limbo, which leaves him alone in the Parable until the game resets once more. But 432 does and god do they make use of it to finally talk to a familiar face without Narun's blabbering.

Extras

• Narrator kept Marriella, but deleted her memory and is now just an asset for one ending. Stanley tried to jog her mind, but she is stuck being nothing but an npc.

• The adventure line is a part of Narrator.

Narun can change his model size to be taller, bigger, smaller, etc, but it does strain him and can cause his model to glitch out if he holds a form for too long.

Paraverse

Narun upon finding out that he isnt the only narrator has an existential crisis. He sees all the other narrators as better and thinks they look down on him. He doesnt care about other Stanleys or TKs, just the narrators. He will switch from an anxiety ridden wreck of a man to a stuttering chatterbox that is trying to sell his fake confidence.

Stanley is neutral to other Stans, he doesnt have any strong feelings about them or the others.

TK looooooves other timekeepers. They want to befriend all of them even the god forsaken looking ones. They just want a band of people that are like them to stir up some mayhem. Bonus points if they match their energy.

Lovebug

• The lovebug virus was a bug that 432 got first. It attached itself to them and through 432 did it get to narrator and the others….that’s it lmaooooo

[graciecatfamilyband]

The Info-Dumpers who Love Characters Website is totally sleeping on the best Info-Dumping Character of All Time:

Jade Daniels, the 17 year-old half-indigenous girl from Stephen Graham Jones’ My Heart is a Chainsaw.

In everyone’s defense, character-driven slow-burn literary fiction that is also a slasher (stab stab 🔪🔪🩸) is a hard genre to sell. Many of us who love one part of this equation don’t love the other.

But Jade has captured my whole chainsaw ♥️, and I CANNOT be normal about it. Jade has never met a person at whom she wasn’t willing to spout random facts that they have exhibited no interest in. She can bring ANYTHING back around to connect to her hyperfixation which is, coincidentally, slasher movies. And she is the most vivid, alive, real-to-me protagonist I have ever encountered. Because of the way she hyperfixates and info dumps, not in spite of it. (Which surely says something about me but again, I am among friends on this webbed site!)

Jade makes completely normal, totally hinged choices like:

(When we the audience are first introduced to her) Going up to a group of construction workers having a trash fire in the middle of the night and being like, “If we were in a slasher right now, this is what the plot line would be. Also, have some random slasher movie facts.” (Their response: Are you okay? You seem like you are not okay.)

Writing extra credit essays for her history teacher about the tropes and conventions of the slasher genre. For four years. Not what he asked for, but what he got. (These essays are included in the book and are a godsend for those of us who are not already slasher fans! They literally help the reader understand the story beats as they unfold, while simultaneously giving life to Jade’s voice and helping us understand what makes her tick.)

Deciding the New Girl At School has all the qualities of a Final Girl, the slasher film trope in which there is one girl left alive to confront the killer and stop the slasher cycle.

Trying to warn the New Girl At School that she is going to be The Final Girl, by putting a VHS copy of the 1971 slasher Bay of Blood and all of Jade’s slasher extra credit essays in her mailbox. With a note. A note that says that she is going to be The Final Girl in a slasher cycle that seems to be starting up. (Jade is just trying to help! So helpful.)

Of course, the core of this novel is: What is going on with Jade? After all, she actually wants a slasher cycle to start in her town. (She also wants the slasher cycle to be stopped at the proper moment, to ensure that the vengeance of the slasher is balanced by the justice of the Final Girl.) She does not see herself as a possible Final Girl, but she is willing to help the richer, prettier, more appropriate classmate who she thinks is that girl. Why, why, why?

To be clear, the novel does not posit that something must be wrong with a person to be intensely, obsessively interested in something or for that thing to be horror- even slashers! But Jade’s behavior is, like I said, not entirely hinged, even for a slasher fan. Something must be up.

The novel gives us all the clues we need to peel back the layers of what’s really happening, and when truths are revealed, everything just *clicks.* Themes are introduced and then reinforced on multiple levels. There is a bear. 🐻 (The bear is the not the slasher.)

And throughout, Jade gets to be fully-human and fully seven-fucking-teen. Even though she is on the cusp of adulthood, she is still a child, and a wounded one at that. (Her wounds in no way fucking diminish her.)  Her judgment is often impaired. Her actions are often questionable. Her hair-dye jobs gets so bad, even she thinks its gross. She is so alive, and so deserving of love. 🥹 

I love her.

I would fight for her.

I desperately want to make soup for her, and let her tell me about the Scream franchise (I do not care about the Scream franchise), and give her a safe place to sleep. Even if doing so makes it way more likely that I’m about to get murdered.

Jade Fucking Daniels. My chainsaw-hearted, info-dumping hero protagonist. I salute you, my final girl.

[em-dash-press]

Are Prologues Worth Your Time?

It felt like every book I picked up when I was a kid and a teenager had a prologue. I thought they were super deep and essential foreshadowing, but then I went to college for creative writing.

You know what every professor taught?

Prologues are outdated and unnecessary.

I was shocked. Not that I’d ever say that I had only read the greatest books (many were trash—and some, beloved trash), but how could so many published books have outdated and unnecessary prologues where they’re supposed to hook a reader?

Here are a few thoughts you can consider when unwrapping this problem for yourself.

Give Your Prologue a Purpose

There are two primary purposes for prologues:

They give the reader a glimpse of a future event in the plot (like a movie trailer).

They give the reader a glimpse into the fictional world’s past to set the scene for the current world (like a flashback).

You don’t necessarily need to put a prologue in your manuscript. Your reader will likely get hooked from the first chapter you’ve worked so hard on. However, if your character/world/conflict will drastically change later, you can make the reader wonder, “How does it get from here to there?” after the first chapter with a prologue.

Flashback prologues are also helpful. A handful of pages could introduce the reader to a conflict (a deity getting betrayed by other gods and cursing all humans to forget they exist) that sets the tone/explains why your universe exists the way it does (every single character and person in the novel doesn’t know about gods because their history has been wiped from their minds, but the protagonist meets one of the gods who betrayed the antagonist deity and wants others to see/hear them too).

How to End a Prologue

Your prologue should end with the reader fully engaged, but wondering—WHAT?!

This might mean that you write your prologue (after deciding on one of the purposes mentioned above) when you’ve finished your manuscript. You’ll know exactly which historical or future point in your world will be most relative to your plot and the most captivating for your reader.

If George R.R. Martin had become inspired to write Game of Thrones based on an idea like this—historically powerful households go to war with each other to regain the most powerful throne in the realm, based on their various birthrights—and written the prologue immediately, we never would have been introduced to the potential-dead-brought-back-to-life in the actual prologue. 

You gotta admit, zombies are a much more gripping hook than political rivalries. Especially when there are so many rivalries and so much history to learn before the tension builds!

When a Prologue May Be Necessary

Sometimes writers feel that their first few chapters are basically info dumps. You may have created a complex world with lots of history, lore, and ongoing conflict. The reader has to understand it all in the first five chapters, but it makes your story read like a textbook.

Prologues can help by summarizing the most important information the reader has to grasp to enjoy your manuscript. Challenge yourself to write some flash fiction (in this case, ~1-3 pages) about your novel’s world to see if you can create a prologue that condenses the most essential info for the reader. You can edit the next few chapters to see if they have better flow/pacing.

Reasons to Avoid Writing a Prologue

You may need to remove your prologue or pass on writing one if you agree with any of these factors:

The info explained in the prologue (history, initial conflict) reappears later in the plot.

You’re including the prologue because your first chapter is boring (just rewrite the first chapter—it will likely still feel boring even with an amazing prologue).

You feel like you have to have one. (This is common in fantasy/sci-fi.)

You want a prologue to set the mood for your story. (That’s the job of your first chapter.)

You need a prologue to do all of your world-building. (Introducing the reader gradually to your world through action-based events the first few chapters is much more engaging than an info-dump prologue.)

Make Your Decision After Getting to Know Your WIP

I tend to think of prologues as something you consider and potentially write well after developing your WIP. Get to know your characters, your plot, the stakes, and the world’s history/conflict before deciding if a prologue would hook your readers. You can always write it in a separate document/page and play around with removing/adding it with beta readers.

[the-letterbox-archives]

file (0)0-54-000: writer questionnaire

thank you @gioiaalbanoart for the tag! this is a writing questionnaire!

q1) is writing a hobby or way of life?

way of life for sure.

q2) a journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

the messy journal is inside my brain, but the documents i use to write are incredibly organised to contrast that.

q3) who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

is it arrogant to say me? i am the one that pushes myself to write, to search for more info, to dump all the noise in my head onto a google doc, so y’know, i’d have to say me.

q4) which is worse: someone you “idolise” reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

depending on who the person is, they would’ve already heard/read both. but i think singing would be worse because, as much as i love music and musicals, i fucking suck at singing.

q5) has writing from someone else’s pov ever changed your own perspective?

it's not exactly writing in another pov that's got me thinking about things differently, more so thinking about the reasoning behind the character's actions/mentality, like the super deep, meta stuff that i can't properly articulate, that's changed me a lot. from the top of my head, laszlo and the tfadh protagonists have changed my perspectives, on ocassion.

q6) tumblr, ao3, livejournal, or ffn?

tumblr, i haven’t used any of the other three for posting my work.

q7) ao3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

don’t write on ao3, and i don’t keep track of my wordcount as is. all in all, i’m not too fussed by wordcount anyway, as long as i write what needs to be written.

q8) what movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

nimona made me realise i was genderfluid so that’s a pretty big one. deadloch also has a massive chokehold on my life, it’s such a good series (comedy murder mystery, small town tasmania, engaging cast, amazing dialogue and jokes, cannot hype it up enough. it’s on amazon prime, go watch it (or pirate it, seriously, more people need to know about it)). a couple fics have altered my brain chemistry too, but i can't remember the names (all slay the princess fluff though haha).

q9) what’s the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it?

i get flushed from literally every compliment, every compliment is amazing :) i don’t think i have a highest compliment in my head, i assume there is one out there, however.

q10) what defines your writing style?

no idea. the words just happen, i’ll let readers pick up the patterns and subtext (there are some words and phrases i use a lot, though).

tagging @introchasingstars, @honeybewrites, @paeliae-occasionally, @ominous-feychild, @the-golden-comet,

@noxxytocin, @moltenwrites, @tc-doherty, @the-ellia-west, @theverumproject,

@thecrazyalchemist, @laylathewordwitch, @dragonedged-if, @leitereads, @autism-purgatory,

@drchenquill, @fenmere, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @melpomene-grey,

@yourpenpaldee, @corinneglass, @agirlandherquill, @willtheweaver, @nczaversnick,

@davycoquette, @glassfrogforest, @princeofhags, @wyked-ao3, @fantasy-things-and-such, + open tag!

[thisworldisablackhole]

The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula K. Le Guin - 4.2/5

I can hardly describe how much of a pleasure this was to read this after spending almost 5 months going through the Hyperion and Endymion duologies. Simmons' is good at worldbuilding and crafting grand, multifaceted narratives, but his actual writing is vanilla as hell and such a slog to push through sometimes. Ursula K. Le Guin on the other hand writes such poetic and beautiful prose that every paragraph feels like a paint stroke. Reminds me more of the visceral Gibson except Le Guin is much softer with her abstractions.

Really really loved the world and concept of society that Le Guin has created here. Despite being intentionally soft on the actual sci fi elements, Winter is one of the most believable "alien" societies I've read about. I enjoyed the way in which Le Guin plops the reader right down in the middle of this world and lets it's culture and geography unfurl slowly as you read. It's another refreshing technique to see after all of Simmons’ boring frontloaded info dumps. The people of this planet are also hard not to love. Even when they are actively working against our protagonist(s), there is something equally perplexing and endearing about their behavior.

I think I enjoyed the first two thirds of this book a bit more than the last. Without giving away any spoilers, the pace shifts heavily near the end. It goes from an exciting story of shady political intrigue and societal exploration into a really long travel phase that takes up most of the last third, and then the ending is just kind of sad and abrupt, but also hopeful. I'm not complaining though, I loved the relationship between Estraven and Genly, and the whole thing was beautifully written. Ursula K. Le Guin could write about ice melting for 200 pages and it would read like a breeze. I feel like there's a lot of little nuances and reflections of real life that would benefit from multiple reads, so I'm definitely putting this in the "re-read asap" pile.

________

Going to read the Burning Chrome collection of short stories by Gibson now before jumping into Contact by Carl Sagan, which I'm super excited for :)

[highfantasy-soul]

With all these 'you need to show not tell!' critiques, recently I'm getting the feeling people have forgotten what that actually means. Specifically with the Percy Jackson show, I've heard this complaint a lot - and how they're "leaving stuff out" that was explained (told) at the beginning of the book. There's this simultaneous critique that 'they're leaving stuff out' and 'they're telling too much exposition' which, watching the show, it makes it really seem like literally nothing will satisfy them.

Specifically, let's talk about Grover's desire to become a searcher:

I heard from a lot of people who read the books that they're doing Grover a disservice because they 'took away' his narrative goal. But how did we know this was his goal in the book? He point blank told Percy. In the show, we're seeing what he values, we're seeing his distress at the destruction of the natural world, and we're seeing why he might either have or grow to have the desire to become a searcher for Pan.

Showing vs telling can take time. Showing vs telling might make those who already know feel like it's been forgotten/the character (or world) isn't as fleshed out as they know they are after having read all 5+ books.

I think the show is doing a great job at showing when it comes to character development/goals while they relegate the cliffnotes of the world building to telling. They tell the stuff that, naturally, would be told to someone just walking into this new world of half-bloods. We don't exactly want Percy to be wandering around without people just telling him the basics of what he needs to know to survive. However, the bigger things, the things about the world that the adults think only they should know, that's being shown to us over the course of the show - not info dumped on us. That leads to some thinking stuff is left out or that they're relying on viewers to have read the books to understand the story. Neither of which is the case based on the show-only reactions I've seen.

You're supposed to feel like Percy isn't being told everything because this is a middle grade story and a massive point of many of them is adults not telling the kid protagonists things - you know, mimicking the real world and the frustrations many kids have growing up and having the 'important' info withheld from them because they're "too young to understand."

Showing vs telling the character motivations/growth helps us really connect to them because we see, over time, who they are. (Annabeth's 'telling' of her motivations makes sense in context because, like Grover being a failed protector, it's her starting point in the story - the place where she grows from - and gives the viewer a better understanding of why this random girl is so interested in Percy and the quest).

Telling vs showing sets up the base-line understanding of the world. Showing vs telling certain world building (usually related directly to plot development) details gives the feeling of shock or dawning/changing understanding of what one thought they knew of the world.

Showing and telling both have their place in narratives - it's important to know which one is needed where and what purpose they serve. And yeah, showing might take a lot longer than just telling, so if you're all about stories showing stuff, you're going to need a little patience and to just sit down, shut up, and you know, actually watch the show.