tw/ heavy talks of homophobia
"Hey, looking good, where are you heading?" Sirius commented as James walked into his living room. Sirius came round to help Regulus with something he needed to do for work. Sirius and Regulus are surrounded by books, contracts and general mess as James uses the mirror above the fireplace to take off his jellewery, leaving it on the mantlepiece in-front of him.
"Oh my cousins getting married, i'm leaving soon,"
"Soon, it's barely ten am!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Indian weddings are like all day events,"
So, James hadn't been looking forward for this wedding. It wasn't that he didn't like his extended family, he does. He gets on alright with them. His parents were going to be there, and he gets on well with his cousin, the one getting married. It's just... some of the older members of his family.
He's avoided telling Regulus about it for a particular reason
"A wedding? Why didn't you tell me, I haven't prepared anything, when do you leave?" Regulus asked, taking his nose out of a book.
"My parents are picking me up in roughly half an hour..." James was really trying to avoid this conversation.
"You haven't mentioned this to me, how long have you known about this?" Sirius asked. despite the length Regulus and Sirius has lived at the Potters, they never really met much of James' extended family. A lot of them don't live in England, and the ones who do, don't speak great English. James has always been able to communicate to them, as English wasn't his first language. It wasn't even his second. Barely his third... But his parents thought it might be for the best they don't meet. So they only ever met a handful of them, majority of being on his dad's side. Regulus nor Sirius ever asked about it.
The point was that, Regulus and Sirius didn't know his family very well. If they went to this wedding, they would be completely out of place, and James isn't sure how much they'd enjoy it. He isn't sure he's going to enjoy it.
"I want to say a month, I haven't really been thinking about it," James said loosely as he walked out the room briefly, coming back in with his sherwani, the jacket which went with his outfit.
"A month? Why haven't you told me... what can I do with twenty minutes?" James and Regulus had been to weddings together before, if they ever have a plus one on an invite, it's always them.
Which is what the issue lies in...
"Yeah, that's why I haven't told you... you're not exactly coming," James said, knowing that would be better than umming and erring.
"What? Why?" Regulus didn't sound hurt or offended, he sounded confused.
"Cause I didn't get a plus one on my invite," James started to button up his sherwani, as he leaned against the arm chair facing the couch which Sirius and Regulus were on. Work completely forgotten.
"Oh..." is all Regulus said.
"Why didn't you get a plus one? Has no one else got a plus one?" Sirius pushed.
"No, Indian weddings don't really work like that..." James didn't want to have this conversation, he just wanted today to be over with. "I called my cousin about it but they said it was final, I asked about that and they people did, but it didn't 'work out' for me... I don't plan on staying that long anyway, so I just left it at that,"
"Well, you should have pushed it, surely if you explained that you wanted your boyfriend there they would understand," Sirius pushed, sitting on the edge of the couch now.
"I... kind of don't" James said, immediately back tracking when regulus does pull an offended look, "It's not you, I would love you to be there it's just..."
"It's just what, James? Why don't you want me there?" Regulus spat, filling the air with tension.
"It's my extended family... they don't... love the fact I'm gay," James admitted and the air radiating of Regulus cooled, "It's just... my family is very religious, which you guys know from my parents but they also come from apart of the world which is still living with out of date ideologies... gay marriage isn't even legal there yet, and only in the past five years have being gay been decriminalized..."
Horror and shock paint Sirius and Regulus' face as James speaks.
"I've never intended for them to know, it was easier that way, especially as they didn't love my way of live before... not being a doctor or following down an academic job, so every time I saw them it was a lot 'why you not a doctor yet?' or being compared to my cousins, which is normal in Asian families, I mean my dad's parents are Vitaminise, along with all their family, so it's disappointment from both ends, you know,"
James took a deep breath, letting them catch up.
"If you never told them, how did they find out?" Sirius asked innocently.
"Because my mum told my aunt, and it spread like wildfire... she told her a couple of months after I came out to her, you remember how long it took for my parents to get comfortable with it... they're fine with it now... but I know my extended family, and now every event since has been filled with weird looks, side comments and my Nani asking me 'when will I meet a fine lady'... just worded differently in Urdu..."
"So they didn't give you a plus one because..." Regulus started, but James finished Regulus' sentence.
"Because they didn't want me bringing a man as a date to the wedding? Yeah... it's a sort of tell not show sort of thing in my family... I'm the only open gay person in my family, and I didn't even come out on my terms... the point is you wouldn't have a good time at this wedding, homophobic family members and large get togethers don't mix well, and you don't have to be subjected to that, as I said before I don't plan on staying long,"
As James finished speaking, there was a honk from a parked gold Honda from outside their house.
"If they're being horrible to you about this, you shouldn't go James... that's unfair on you," Sirius said, as James slid on his sandals.
"It's fine, my parents want me to go, plus being a first cousin makes me in the bridal party for the groom, I'm my cousins best man... the wedding doesn't even started till one pm, I have four hours of mehndi and meeting my cousins soon to be in laws ahead of before the ceremony even begins... it'll make it worse if I don't go,"
Regulus nods, Sirius has a look of defiance on his face but James ignores it.
"Well, come home as soon if they're making you uncomfortable,"
James plants a strong kiss on Regulus' lips and leaves for the longest wedding of his life.
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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
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Chuuya's reaction to Dazai getting hurt during the Lovecraft fight has always been so interesting to me...
Because it's the kind of worry you'd never expect from a character as gruff as Chuuya, who had displayed nothing but hostility towards Dazai so far. Usually, characters that are labelled as "angry" or "anger issues" (which Chuuya is much more complex than that but you get my point) act more as a tsundere type of way when the one they "don't care about" gets hurt. And show their care in very, very subtle ways (ex. their eyes widen, their mouth parts and closes again, etc) before putting up their front once more.
Chuuya, however, is open, and vocal about it. His worry is clear not only to us, but to Dazai himself, the one he shouldn't be displaying the concern to (as per the cliche). Shouldn't it be some sort of secret that Chuuya does care? Isn't that what skk's dynamic has been shaping up to be until now?
I'm telling you- the way my mind blanked when Chuuya just casually.... showed concern not once, but twice, was a sight to see.
Besides, the context makes it much more confusing, because Dazai isn't some rookie, and Chuuya knows that more than anybody. He was the youngest executive in Port Mafia's history, of course he can handle a hit or two. Of course he'd seen him handle a hit or two, sometimes without batting an eye.
Heck, Chuuya himself was hurling Dazai like a ragdoll in their reunion, which was their last meeting. And you could argue that he was going easy on him, but Dazai has mostly withstood the same damage (as far as I could see), and Chuuya was as bitter as ever.
So that kind of contradicts both what we knew of Chuuya so far, and how their dynamic was shaped to be. I mean, that just makes Chuuya a hypocrite, yeah? What makes him care now, all of a sudden? What makes him care at all?
Well, to me, this backasswards reaction implies one (or more) of the following:
- Dazai rarely got physically hurt during their partnership and thus this is an unexpected thing for him to see (during a mission).
- The four years of separation made Chuuya unsure of how much Dazai can withstand physically now. Also the fact that he isn't in the mafia anymore, aka fighting enemy organizations on the weekly, would naturally make Dazai lose his touch in a way, what prompts Chuuya's reaction.
- Dazai getting taken off guard took him off guard which led to panic. Especially since the situation was (momentarily) out of their depth. Seriously wtf even was Lovecraft?
- During the dungeon scene Dazai was an enemy, while in the Lovecraft fight he was as an ally. The difference might be significant to Chuuya.
- This has always been Chuuya's reaction to Dazai getting hurt regardless of the situation.
- "Only I can hurt him like that" ahh logic
- Asagiri was still experimenting with their dynamic and thus there are some inconsistencies.
This scenario didn't play out again (after their reunion) for me to exactly determine which one is more plausible, but it is 100% canon for Chuuya to shamelessly show his concern and run to Dazai to check on him before properly dealing with their opponent, which I find to be such an appealing layer to their dynamic, and a good spin on the type of character he gets stereotyped as.
Bonus: Dazai also becomes a softy when Chuuya's hurt, especially post corruption. Dead Apple alone displays that multiple times.
All in all, Skk are doing a terrible job at maintaining their 'hostile' and 'antagonistic' relationship post their reunion. Freaks.
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