#which. i am putting my faith in the author based on how good everything has been so far

[dashiellqvverty]

wings of fire taking a sharp turn into horror at the end of the 3rd to last book… crazy stuff

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

I am sorry that Yuzu's divorce annoucement fires up discussions about Fanyus again and that the MEDIA harassment that caused the divorce to happen is pushed aside over it BUT I am still kind of perplex about the level of delusion from some Fanyus about their own fanbase and the impact the fandom has on Yuzu's life in general...

This is MY opinion, feel free to disagree...

The MEDIA caused Yuzu trouble - this time maybe even beyond repair 😢 and I am still not over this - BUT it's not like Fanyus don't have any fans among them with disrespectful behavior that caused Yuzu discomfort. Who I personally question and want to adress with this post are those who see "no wrong" in the Fanyu fandom and aren't able to acknowledge bad behavior that did cause Yuzu personally trouble. And even things done in good faith can cause discomfort. This is not to put some Fanyus questionable behavior and media harassment on the same scale, which is not, BUT there were a lot of "unsafe" moments created for Yuzu by his own fans, some that have impacted Yuzu's personal life or invaded privacy as well.

Here are some examples for unsafe moments throughout his amateur career: For example Yuzu being to afraid to go on his own to the rink in CANADA bc ppl kept following him (you think these were all "journalists"?) and FANS put a huge poster - a paid aid even - on the bus stop he used to get off to the rink in Canada to congratulate him a couple of times(a cute thing per se but it shows how fans tracked his habits to know he'd see it). At ACI 2019 fans ran after the car they saw him getting into and almost even caused an accident (there was a huge uproar among Fanyus how some acted disrespectful). In Helsinki 2018 the crowd waited outside the VIP door in hundreds and ppl expected him to walk through a pushing crowd, security didn't walk him through this instead he went through a backdoor and even there were fans showing the camera into his face though he didn't want it. (I saw this myself from afar bc I was leaving the building at the same time to catch my flight). Yuzu almost hiding behind Brian Orser at 4CC 2020 at the airport, yes media was present too, but fans waited there for him. At Beijing 2022 fans released a photo of Yuzu AND HIS MOTHER at the airport and shared it among fans. (I am even sadly complicit in this bc I also shared the pic without realizing that it was his mother and not an authorized pic. I took it down immediately,but damage is still done) Yuzu has dozens of bodyguards around him at airports as seen in for example in Pyeongchang 2018 or 4CC 2020 and that's not only because of the media. Yuzu stopped meeting fans at events a long time ago because of the fans behavior. I think the last ppl who got a pic with Yuzu was some lil time after Sochi 2014. These are just a few examples. I don't say all these things are done with malicious intention, maybe even just meant as showing support but the "love" goes way beyond for some for what is respectful. Yes maybe these examples were not stalking his home but Sendai isn't really that huge of a city and ice rink Sendai doesn't say for no reason that they don't accept gifts for Yuzu and that ppl should act respectful. That's not targeted at the media but at ordinary ppl and fans trying to catch glimpses of Yuzu.

Yes most Fanyus condemn the Tabloid papers, but still even raging about wrong articles and retweeting and reblogging with comments to take the articles down give the articles attention. To say only non-Fanyus read those articles is delusional as to know what's wrong about an article you unfortunately have to read it yourself.

It is a known fact that Yuzu has a huge hater base, especially in Japan, but I think Fanyus have a much higher number and are a much securer target audience for media than the haters. So haters may buy tabloid articles but the ones buying everything with Yuzu's name on it or for example track what Yuzu is wearing are fans. "Hanyuconomy" is something Fanyus are really proud of, don't you think some fans still end up buying those tabloid papers for Yuzu's pic in it? And non-Japanese speaking Fanyus may not even realize that an article or magazine is tabloid stuff and problematic?

And if you think Fanyus are all sweet and unproblematic than ask the multiple fans of other skaters who got bullied by Fanyus online just for their opinions. Fanyus even bullied their own fans of sns for example they bullied two Fanyu translators off Twitter bc they didn't liked the wording or bc god forbid they made a mistake or bc translations have been misinterepreted. I have experienced my share of hatred from Fanyus online as well. I personally don't even like to call myself a Fanyu bc of how rabid Fanyus treat other fans though this whole blog once was just started bc of my fan love for Yuzu. Fanyus even made me enjoy Yuzu content less! There is a reason for other skaters fandom's calling Fanyus toxic. A huge number of Fanyus come from KPop and act according to the KPop fandom and we all know that fandom isn't unproblematic. I swear the view on Fanyus worsened over the years. It's sad because the majority of Fanyus is kind and respectful, but the ones who cause trouble fall back on the fandom as a whole.

Just the reaction by some Fanyus about both the marriage annoucement, you can definetly tell that not all Fanyus think the same way.

Fanyus is not an entity with one brain. These are multiple fans with different behavior and I strongly believe the majority is like me sad and shocked about Yuzu's divorce news and the media treatment, but you or me we cannot speak for ALL Fanyus. There are different opinions and nuances within the Fanyu fandom and that's ok. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and opinions and their way to support Yuzu. The bigger the crowd though, the more bad apples. We can ofc discuss if those bad apples can even be called "fans" but they'd call themselves Fanyus anyway and that falls back on Fanyu fandom, fair or not.

Fanyus made Yuzu bigger than the sport, more than just an athlete by bringing his fandom to new heights. It is not a bad thing per se, but with this kind of attention unfortunately the interest in this person grew beyond results and skating. He cannot be just an athlete, he didn't ask for being a celebrity but he is one and he wouldn't be one if not for the huge fandom. To say that the fandom has no impact at all on his personal situation is naive.

I am not blaming the Fanyus for Yuzu's divorce BUT imo Fanyus cannot deny their own impact and problematic behavior among them and I think it's important to have a conversation about Fanyus behavior and how to be a better fandom. But sure saying "Yuzu said it was media so we do everything alright" is so much easier than acknowledging problems among ourseleves. (Yes I am including myself there too because if I like it or not I am also part of this Fanyu fandom and atm I can't say I like it and I still feel so incredibly sorry for Yuzu)

Sorry this got out of hand again...well I said what I said...

[quietbluejay]

Godblight 1

What in the anime lightning crackling between eyes

OWO perhaps….Eldar spotted???

guilliman: when other people use "the ends justify the means and doing bad things to get good results is based, actually" as an excuse, it's cringe guilliman: when i do it, it's fine

ELDAR SPOTTED!!!!

I mean it was a more tolerant age the same way dying from salmonella poisoning is better than dying from lingchi

well idk maybe Ultramar back in the day was less xenophobic than the empire was in general oh lovely it's a tzeentchian daemon …man i love it when an author goes "hey, actually, consequentialism sucks"

time for us to meet a normal human living on a Nurglite planet ….the main thing that being in the Imperium has over being in Nurgle's dominion is the possibility, however slim it might be, that things will get better for you and in general reading this makes it abundantly clear why Nurgle would be so popular on a hive world if your suffering is guaranteed, then at least you can have guaranteed happiness with it of course "get well soon" is a nurglite curse

oh its time for mortarion to commune through the fungus with typhus this whole conversation is just:

back to nurgle demon shenanigans with ku'gath

he's so delightful for once everyone else is sad but he's not enjoying it also it's time for baby fights two with rotigus and ku'gath this is reminding me of interactions i had with my sister when we were both like 10 or under

amazing incredible 10/10

(on the topic of blorbos where is Voiiiii I want Voi point of view why are the sisters of silence being slept on) psyker dude: it is physically painful being in the same room as guilliman because of his stress and depression

see, the thing about a cult of reason is that you're turning reason into a cult

Donas: Humans don't need gods because all gods are evil and from the warp Natase: #notallgods okay this is interesting and is covering something i've been curious about which is how godhood and faith work and i was right haha! so, some gods are created from faith, some are completely faith-independent, some don't need faith but get power from it nonetheless

from what i saw in the other books it seems like the faith and the emperor's power were originally separate, which is weird well kind of like the power that came from people's faith in the emperor, was independent of the emperor himself and my theory was that it's got to do with humanity being a psychic species and the warp is "your mind makes it real" and then since the faith had a specific focus (the emperor) it became attached to him and became a self-sustaining cycle

someone pick up the phone because I called it

it's entirely possible to become a god against your own will and then get shaped by what people believe you to be natase: the incident with the girl driving back demons might have been actually you all along

guilliman: it's not enough i have to deal with everything else, but this too guilliman: nope. i reject this. guilliman: okay. okay. guilliman: ok so if the Emperor really is a god now, what does this mean for our strategy? pffff typical guilliman also i am proud of him here he's actually using reason! rather than blindly turning "reason" into a dogma and avoiding uncomfortable truths.

and now back to ku'gath once again loving some of the imagery "the hospital walls slumped like corpses" actually thinking on the subject, could Shiki kill a chaos god

tattleslug: look everyone knows you hate everyone tattleslug: it's not a secret at all

actually wait we're back to guilliman again and im cackling he's Done

custodes dude: this is a bad idea guilliman: k guilliman: i will walk you through my reasoning one more time custodes dude: you already- guilliman: since you're making me put up with you constantly bugging me, you will have to put up with hearing me repeatedly explain things guilliman: also my final reason is if i don't get to do violence to something i am going to snap

[dfroza]

A “battle” to Unite

hearts & minds in Light

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 2nd chapter of the letter of Colossians:

This battle I am facing is huge. And I want you to know I do it for you, for all those at Laodicea, and for everyone else (even those who have never seen my face). I’m working hard to comfort and encourage them so that they will be knit together—that many hearts would become one through His love. I do it so they will be rich in understanding and have full knowledge of God’s mystery, which is the Anointed One Himself— in Him all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are concealed. I only tell you this to warn you about those who would try and deceive you with their arguments. They seem plausible enough; but in the end, they are false. Even though I cannot be there in the body, my spirit is with you; and I’m happy to know of your good order and your solid commitment to the Anointed One, our Liberating King.

Now that you have welcomed the Anointed One, Jesus the Lord, into your lives, continue to journey with Him and allow Him to shape your lives. Let your roots grow down deeply in Him, and let Him build you up on a firm foundation. Be strong in the faith, just as you were taught, and always spill over with thankfulness. Make sure no predator makes you his prey through some misleading philosophy and empty deception based on traditions fabricated by mere mortals. These are sourced in the elementary principles originating in this world and not in the Anointed One (so don’t let their talks capture you). You see, all that is God, all His fullness, resides in His body. You, too, are being completed in Him, the One who has dominion over all rule, all authority. In Him you were also circumcised, set apart by a spiritual act performed without hands. The Anointed One’s circumcision cut you off from the sinfulness of your flesh. You were buried with Him beneath the waters of the ceremonial washing called baptism and then were raised up with Him by faith in the resurrection power of God, who brought Him back from the dead. And when your flesh was still uncircumcised—dead in transgression and swathed in its sinful nature—it was God who brought us to life with Him, forgave all our sins, and eliminated the massive debt we incurred by the law that stood against us. He took it all away; He nailed it to the cross. But that’s not all. He disarmed those who once ruled over us—those who had overpowered us. Like captives of war, He put them on display to the world to show His victory over them by means of the cross.

So don’t let anyone stand in judgment over you and dictate what you should eat or drink, what festivals you should celebrate, or how you should observe a new moon or Sabbath days— all these are only a shadow of what shall come. The reality, the core, the import, is found in the Anointed One. Don’t be cheated out of the prize by others who are peddling the worship of heavenly beings and false humility. People like this run about telling whoever will listen what they claim to have seen; but in reality they testify only to an inflated mind, saturated in conceit—not in the Spirit. They are detached from the very head that nourishes and connects the whole body with all of its nerves and ligaments, a body that grows by the kind of growth that can only come from God.

Listen, if you have died with the Anointed One to the elemental spirits of the cosmos, then why are you submitting yourselves to its rules as if you still belonged to this world? You hear, “Don’t handle this! Don’t taste that! Don’t even touch it!” but everything they are obsessed about will eventually decay with use. These rules are just human commands and teachings. Here’s what they are promoting: fabricated religion, self-humiliation, and bodily abuse. No matter which way they try to tether their bodies, they cannot harness their desires.

The Letter of Colossians, Chapter 2 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

At the heart of the good news is a mystery hidden in ancient Scriptures but now exposed to the world through the lives of the church’s holy ones. Paul never refers to just one “holy one”; he always uses the plural. He knows that holiness is too difficult for us to accomplish on our own. Each of us has to be called and equipped by God, but we also have to be accompanied by others who’ve answered the call. Those who say “yes” to Jesus become the church, the company of those rescued from darkness and ultimately from death. Paul is fond of calling the church the body of the risen Jesus. Our own hopes and dreams for the future are concentrated in Him. Not only do we dwell in Him, but He also dwells in us.

Today’s paired reading from the First Testament is the 7th chapter of the book of Numbers:

When Moses finished setting up the congregation tent, sanctifying, anointing, and setting apart it and everything in it—its furnishings, altar, and sacred receptacles, as befits God’s holy dwelling place, then Israel’s tribe leaders, the heads of their extended families, the leaders of everyone who had been organized and counted, came forward to make an offering. In total, they presented to the Eternal in His tent six covered carts (one for every two leaders) and twelve oxen to pull them (one for each leader). Then the Eternal One responded to the offering.

Eternal One (to Moses): Accept these things, and give them to those Levites who need them to service the congregation tent.

Moses did just that, distributing the gifts based on the needs of the Levites’ respective tasks: the Gershonites got two ox-carts and four oxen to haul the tents’ many coverings; the Merarites got four ox-carts and eight oxen to haul the tents’ heavy frames and stands, and Ithamar (Priest Aaron’s son) supervised them. The Kohathites didn’t get any because the sacred things for which they were responsible were smaller furnishings and could be carried on the men’s own shoulders. As the altar was being properly anointed, the leaders came forward at its dedication with their offerings because the Eternal had directed Moses to oversee that one leader per day came forward with his offering for the altar’s dedication.

Nahshon (Amminadab’s son) of the Judah tribe was first. He brought one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds (to hold the blood of sacrifices as it was dashed on the altar), according to the sanctuary scales. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. These are the things Nahshon, Amminadab’s son, brought forward.

On the second day, Nethanel (son of Zuar), head of the Issachar tribe, came forward with their offering—the same as the Judah family’s from the day before— bringing one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. This is what Nethanel, Zuar’s son, brought for an offering.

Eliab (son of Helon), head of the Zebulunite tribe, brought the third day’s offering— one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. This is what Eliab, Helon’s son, brought as an offering.

On the fourth day, Elizur (son of Shedeur), head of the Reubenite tribe, presented the offering. He, too, brought one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. These things Elizur (Shedeur’s son) presented as an offering.

On the fifth day, Shelumiel (son of Zurishaddai), head of the Simeonite tribe, brought the offering. Like those preceding, he brought one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. This is what Shelumiel (Zurishaddai’s son) brought.

On the sixth day, Eliasaph (son of Deuel), head of the Gadite tribe, like those before him, brought one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. This is what Eliasaph (Deuel’s son) brought as an offering.

Elishama (son of Ammihud), head of the Ephraimite half-tribe, brought the seventh day’s offering. He also brought one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. These things Elishama (Ammihud’s son) offered.

Gamaliel (son of Pedahzur), head of the Manassehite half-tribe, brought the offering on the eighth day. He brought one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. So Gamaliel (Pedahzur’s son) brought the same offering as his Israelite brothers had on each of the days before.

On the ninth day, Abidan (son of Gideoni), head of the Benjaminite tribe, also brought one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. These things Abidan (Gideoni’s son) offered.

On the tenth day, Ahiezer (son of Ammishaddai), head of the Danite tribe, brought the same offering: He brought one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. This is what Ahiezer (Ammishaddai’s son) brought as an offering.

Pagiel (son of Ochran), head of the Asherite tribe, brought the eleventh day’s offering, which consisted of the same things: He brought one silver plate weighing three and one-quarter pounds and one silver bowl of one and three-quarter pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. This is what Pagiel (Ochran’s son) offered.

On the 12th day, Ahira (son of Enan), head of the Naphtalite tribe, brought one silver plate weighing 3¼ pounds and one silver bowl of 1¾ pounds, as the sanctuary weighs things. Both were filled with prime flour mixed with oil to compose a grain offering. He also brought one gold dish (four ounces in weight) filled with incense; and for a burnt offering, he brought a young bull, a ram, and a yearling male lamb. For a sin offering, he brought one male goat; and for a peace offering sacrifice, he brought two oxen, five rams, five male goats, and five yearling male lambs. Like those before him, Ahira (Enan’s son) brought these things to offer.

This is what the heads of the Israelite families offered up at the occasion of the altar’s dedication (when it was anointed): 12 silver plates, 12 silver bowls (to hold the blood of sacrifices as it was dashed on the altar), and 12 gold dishes. Because each plate weighed 3¼ pounds and each bowl weighed 1¾ pounds, the total silver was 60 pounds (based on the sanctuary standard); and the 12 gold, incense-filled dishes all together weighed three pounds; and for the burnt offering, there was a total of 12 bulls, 12 rams, 12 male yearling lambs, plus the grain offering and the 12 male goats for the sin offering. As for the peace offering, there were 24 oxen, 60 rams, 60 male goats, and 60 male yearling lambs. All of these were for the altar’s dedication after it was anointed.

So it was established. When Moses went into the congregation tent to speak to them, he could hear the voice of God speaking to him from between the winged guardians above the seat of mercy on the covenant chest. Thus the Eternal spoke to Moses.

The Book of Numbers, Chapter 7 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

Logistical concerns are paramount with this new reality of a traveling nation. With their large numbers and their countless livestock, moving this caravan is a logistical nightmare. Just moving the congregation tent is a challenge, involving a number of families and special carts to carry the tons of layers of the tent and the many utensils for worship. The most holy items are carried manually, but without physical contact. Thus God provides a system of carrying poles fed through loops so the holy item is not touched. The actual arrangement of the caravan is also specified, as well as the arrangement of the tribes in relation to the congregation tent.

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for Thursday, july 4 of 2024 with a paired chapter from each Testament (the First & the New Covenant) of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons:

"Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will seek to enter but will not be able" (Luke 13:24). The narrow door is the way of humility (דרך עֲנָוָה), assuming a low position, crawling, if you will, and making yourself small... It is to confess the truth of our condition and to trust in God alone for deliverance.

The narrow door is the way of faith - trusting God’s compassion and righteousness given on our behalf (2 Cor. 5:21). The large, wide-open door is designed for the crowd and its various circuses. Beware of the world that seeks to assimilate the soul: beware of becoming part of the crowd! The individual is lost and overwhelmed in the midst of the crowd and its momentum. The crowd assimilates the soul, laughs at the notion of individual responsibility, and abandons itself to the gravity of fallen natural forces... The life of faith, on the other hand, refuses to regard the individual human heart as a triviality. Faith is an individual struggle, a walk into unknowing; it is the way of the sojourner who feels uneasy in this world of shadows...

God promises to be always with us and to help us stay resolute, even as we struggle through the vanity and darkness of this age. Press on, friend: the day and the hour draw near!

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Psalm 25:10 reading:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm25-9-jjp.mp3

Hebrew page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm25-9-lesson.pdf

7.3.24 • Facebook

from Today’s email by Israel365

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

[d0ntw0rrybehappy]

I just read a part of n&t that explicitly talks about Apple being Black, has Elushin being a demagogue and being racist (not at the level of saying n** or saying horribly racist things but heavy, clear connections to racism)… to my writing group.

I feel like I have a bad habit/double-edged sword of zeroing in on the most taboo stuff I can think of, in a kind of desperate attempt to be heard, confirmed, challenged — dealt with. So that issues can be shifted, put to bed. I feel like confronting the taboo is sometimes the core of good art, but usually it’s about oppression the author has been through… not trying to wrangle with the oppression of others. It’s an odd and slipperily deplorable thing to write about. I often wonder if it’s like, a pathological compulsion, focusing on these stupid little thought loops (*hand-button-meme SAY SOMETHING OFFENSIVE*) in the face of other literary issues one might write about. Or like I’m pretending to be stupid and naive just so I can say all this stuff. But then I imagine publishing this anonymously and how I would just go for it and really believe in the underlying project at play (digging it up, making people look at it, searching for what rings true — the valhala in it to use n&t word) so a lot of what’s going on here is embarrassment about my being connected to it. About the author being me. (I hate how open I am, it makes me so vulnerable and potentially unhirable, but is also such a beautifully deliberate way to live life, like a drug high, to make it unreal.)

Anyway, it was terrifying to perform and I would give money to hear what people truly thought. But in lieu of that I have to base my faith in what I think and what they said (consider the evidence, my therapist says).

Was silent for a while, then it opened up. Ppl kinda skirted the issue, but it was hard to judge what % of that was that they didn’t really understand what was going on in the story, and what % was not wanting to touch the racism issue bc it’s so charged. The teacher/moderator is a Black author and reading the piece I was like oh god this feels… bad. but also like damn if I can’t like read this and feel behind it when I’m around non-white people then the story obviously needs work. So I’m just gonna do it. Her advice wasn’t that intense, she actually spoke for my piece which was an honor, she was like, there’s a mythic quality to it, like an Aesop’s fable. And you’re clearly trying to get to the bottom of some kinds of issues - religious, social overtones, discrimination. And her biggest critique was how impossible it was to orient oneself in the world bc it was confusingly constructed.

I was like “did you guys feel…uncomfortable with me reading this?” One guy was like “nah.” “Did puppy go on [being racist, I was exhausted reading that] for too long?” “Nah.” Then another guy was like “I didn’t like how you apologized for saying the word ‘retarded’ [in a quote from elushin], you either have to say it and stand by your use of it, or find another word.” Then we had kinda a productive conversation about using a word that makes such a big splash that it drowns out everything else. The “nah” guy was like “yeah I had to edit mine a bit for words like that” (boomer white guy tbf).

So I mean, it was actually a productive discussion, and any feeling I have about having sucked all the air out of the room I don’t have any evidence for. Just how I felt. Nobody said they were offended, they were just like, hey, maybe revise that word if you have to trigger warning the whole thing for it, probs not worth it, sometimes words have too much impact (and I’m dealing with a much bigger thing than I really understand), but if it’s not pointlessly there to offend or shock then do you. Also one of the women later called me “wise” while I was critiquing her I practically spat my water out lmfao. What a compliment wow I WISHH lol I was like “3% of the time” (hoping to get to 6% by 40) (I was sooo flattered lol)

Anyway, this got me thinking about how to do all the stuff I’m doing but to what degree to mediate it, so everyone doesn’t tense up and can kinda feel safe to enter and grapple with the issues. That’s one of the great powers of fantasy: you disguise everything a little, you do it with stuffed animals so people can kind of deal with it. And there’s a real point to subtlety, it’s not frivolous. Showing a little kiss is very different from hardcore fucking in a movie. I always just want to arrow straight to the bullseye but maybe that’s the wrong way of looking at it, maybe I can shoot straight but without… killing the beast. Or to kill the beast it has to be earned, it has to be timed right.

Part of me is also like, we live in such tight-lipped times for dealing with racial politics. People are so afraid of touching it and having their reputations ruined. It reminds me of this story I just read about 1940 when no one’s allowed to criticize the world war. The same largely formless yet overwhelming social pressure. I think we’ve had a giant racial reckoning on a social level in the last few years, a long-needed one, and dealing with race has gotten really confusing for white people. And that we should confront it openly. And what’s cool about writing is that you’re *allowed* to bare yourself and then sometimes people are like “meh we didn’t really like that” and then you get to grow from that.

[dangermousie]

Mousie’s absolutely subjective, very biased Top 10 web novels list

Please note that this is hardly aiming to be objective, if one can even be properly objective about a work of fiction. It is 110% based on my preferences, which means this list is heavy on the angst and has nothing set in the modern day. It is also heavily danmei-centric, even though I read way more het romance than danmei, because for whatever reason, most of the danmei I’ve read has been insanely good.

10. Return of the Swallow - one of the two non-danmeis on this list. Smart and nuanced and with a large cast of characters. Our heroine is a long-lost daughter of the family that is brought back in and has to cope with familial struggles, crazy royals, court intrigue, invasion et al. It’s SO GOOD! There is romance with the sexy smart enemy general but honestly, it’s the heroine that is the main selling point for me.

9. Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - the only other non-danmei novel on this list, this was my very first web novel and what drew me into this insanity. This is just a ton of fun, probably the lightest novel on this list, not an ounce of angst to be found. But it’s hilarious and features competent heroine and tsundere hero and I will always love it for opening a new world to me. Anyway, our heroine transmigrates into the novel as the female lead. Unlike the original lead though she doesn’t want to seek adventures and angst - she just wants to comfortably live with the wealthy, nice husband heroine has. Alas, said husband is no longer nice since he has previously lived this story where he was betrayed by FL and then transmigrated/reincarnated into the past. Oh well, the heroine opens up businesses and makes friends. And eventually, her husband realizes his wife is way different this time around. This actually doesn’t have much romance, not until close to the end, but this is so fun I don’t care.

8. Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

7. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS) - oh come on, how are you even on this tumblr if you don’t know MDZS/The Untamed? This was my very first danmei and it’s so much fun! I love everything about it - the unreliable narrator, the looping structure, the main OTP, Wei Wuxian’s laidback, traumatized insouciance, everything. Anyway, the plot in the event you somehow transported here from 2005 is that the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Wei Wuxian, was defeated by the righteous sects over a decade ago and fell of a cliff to his death. Only now that same Wei Wuxian opens his eyes in another body and everything that was supposed to stay in the past starts again.

6. Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF) - people either love its meandering narrative, picaresque structure and cast of thousands, or find it a detriment compared to much more compact MDZS. I love it even more than MDZS for those very qualities. It does have a rock-solid, darling OTP, but what really elevates it to me are the MXTX trademark combo of snarky/light tone hiding a ton of trauma underneath, the insanely intricate world-building, and what it has to say about the nature of grace and goodness. Xie Lian is one of my top 5 web novel characters and probably in top 10 from anywhere. Oh, and while MXTX’s stuff is not as angsty for me as Meatbun’s or even Priest’s, there are always exceptions, and there is one chapter in this novel that pretty much broke me and sometimes I still flashback to it and feel unwell.

Anyway, what is it about? There is a commotion in the heavenly realm - Xie Lian, the Crown Prince of a long-destroyed kingdom, has ascended to Godhood. That in itself is not so exciting. However for Xie Lian this is the third time (!!!!) as he’s ascended and lost his godhood twice prior. And now, the biggest joke of the divine realm is back, throwing the heavenly realm into chaos. And elsewhere, Hua Cheng, one of the four most powerful demons of that Universe, sits up and takes notice.

5. Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

4. Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

3. To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

1. The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: I enjoyed reading your posts about Napoleon’s death and it’s quite timely given its the 200th anniversary of his death this year in May. I was wondering, because you know a lot about military history (your served right? That’s cool to fly combat helicopters) and you live in France but aren’t French, what your take was on Napoleon and how do the French view him? Do they hail him as a hero or do they like others see him like a Hitler or a Stalin? Do you see him as a hero or a villain of history?

5 May 1821 was a memorable date because Napoleon, one of the most iconic figures in world history, died while in bitter exile on a remote island in the South Atlantic Ocean. Napoleon Bonaparte, as you know rose from obscure soldier to a kind of new Caesar, and yet he remains a uniquely controversial figure to this day especially in France. You raise interesting questions about Napoleon and his legacy. If I may reframe your questions in another way. Should we think of him as a flawed but essentially heroic visionary who changed Europe for the better? Or was he simply a military dictator, whose cult of personality and lust for power set a template for the likes of Hitler? 

However one chooses to answer this question can we just - to get this out of the way - simply and definitively say that Napoleon was not Hitler. Not even close. No offence intended to you but this is just dumb ahistorical thinking and it’s a lazy lie. This comparison was made by some in the horrid aftermath of the Second World War but only held little currency for only a short time thereafter. Obviously that view didn’t exist before Hitler in the 19th Century and these days I don’t know any serious historian who takes that comparison seriously.

I confess I don’t have a definitive answer if he was a hero or a villain one way or the other because Napoleon has really left a very complicated legacy. It really depends on where you’re coming from.

As a staunch Brit I do take pride in Britain’s victorious war against Napoleonic France - and in a good natured way rubbing it in the noses of French friends at every opportunity I get because it’s in our cultural DNA and it’s bloody good fun (why else would we make Waterloo train station the London terminus of the Eurostar international rail service from its opening in 1994? Or why hang a huge gilded portrait of the Duke of Wellington as the first thing that greets any visitor to the residence of the British ambassador at the British Embassy?). On a personal level I take special pride in knowing my family ancestors did their bit on the battlefield to fight against Napoleon during those tumultuous times. However, as an ex-combat veteran who studied Napoleonic warfare with fan girl enthusiasm, I have huge respect for Napoleon as a brilliant military commander. And to makes things more weird, as a Francophile resident of who loves living and working in France (and my partner is French) I have a grudging but growing regard for Napoleon’s political and cultural legacy, especially when I consider the current dross of political mediocrity on both the political left and the right. So for me it’s a complicated issue how I feel about Napoleon, the man, the soldier, and the political leader.

If it’s not so straightforward for me to answer the for/against Napoleon question then it It’s especially true for the French, who even after 200 years, still have fiercely divided opinions about Napoleon and his legacy - but intriguingly, not always in clear cut ways.

I only have to think about my French neighbours in my apartment building to see how divisive Napoleon the man and his legacy is. Over the past year or so of the Covid lockdown we’ve all gotten to know each other better and we help each other. Over the Covid year we’ve gathered in the inner courtyard for a buffet and just lifted each other spirits up.

One of my neighbours, a crusty old ex-general in the army who has an enviable collection of military history books that I steal, liberate, borrow, often discuss military figures in history like Napoleon over our regular games of chess and a glass of wine. He is from very old aristocracy of the ancien regime and whose family suffered at the hands of ‘madame guillotine’ during the French Revolution. They lost everything. He has mixed emotions about Napoleon himself as an old fashioned monarchist. As a military man he naturally admires the man and the military genius but he despises the secularisation that the French Revolution ushered in as well as the rise of the haute bourgeois as middle managers and bureaucrats by the displacement of the aristocracy.

Another retired widowed neighbour I am close to, and with whom I cook with often and discuss art, is an active arts patron and ex-art gallery owner from a very wealthy family that came from the new Napoleonic aristocracy - ie the aristocracy of the Napoleonic era that Napoleon put in place - but she is dismissive of such titles and baubles. She’s a staunch Republican but is happy to concede she is grateful for Napoleon in bringing order out of chaos. She recognises her own ambivalence when she says she dislikes him for reintroducing slavery in the French colonies but also praises him for firmly supporting Paris’s famed Comédie-Française of which she was a past patron.

Another French neighbour, a senior civil servant in the Elysée, is quite dismissive of Napoleon as a war monger but is grudgingly grateful for civil institutions and schools that Napoleon established and which remain in place today.

My other neighbours - whether they be French families or foreign expats like myself - have similarly divisive and complicated attitudes towards Napoleon.

In 2010 an opinion poll in France asked who was the most important man in French history. Napoleon came second, behind General Charles de Gaulle, who led France from exile during the German occupation in World War II and served as a postwar president.

The split in French opinion is closely mirrored in political circles. The divide is generally down political party lines. On the left, there's the 'black legend' of Bonaparte as an ogre. On the right, there is the 'golden legend' of a strong leader who created durable institutions.

Jacques-Olivier Boudon, a history professor at Paris-Sorbonne University and president of the Napoléon Institute, once explained at a talk I attended that French public opinion has always remained deeply divided over Napoleon, with, on the one hand, those who admire the great man, the conqueror, the military leader and, on the other, those who see him as a bloodthirsty tyrant, the gravedigger of the revolution. Politicians in France, Boudon observed, rarely refer to Napoleon for fear of being accused of authoritarian temptations, or not being good Republicans.

On the left-wing of French politics, former prime minister Lionel Jospin penned a controversial best selling book entitled “the Napoleonic Evil” in which he accused the emperor of “perverting the ideas of the Revolution” and imposing “a form of extreme domination”, “despotism” and “a police state” on the French people. He wrote Napoleon was "an obvious failure" - bad for France and the rest of Europe. When he was booted out into final exile, France was isolated, beaten, occupied, dominated, hated and smaller than before. What's more, Napoleon smothered the forces of emancipation awakened by the French and American revolutions and enabled the survival and restoration of monarchies. Some of the legacies with which Napoleon is credited, including the Civil Code, the comprehensive legal system replacing a hodgepodge of feudal laws, were proposed during the revolution, Jospin argued, though he acknowledges that Napoleon actually delivered them, but up to a point, "He guaranteed some principles of the revolution and, at the same time, changed its course, finished it and betrayed it," For instance, Napoleon reintroduced slavery in French colonies, revived a system that allowed the rich to dodge conscription in the military and did nothing to advance gender equality.

At the other end of the spectrum have been former right-wing prime minister Dominique de Villepin, an aristocrat who was once fancied as a future President, a passionate collector of Napoleonic memorabilia, and author of several works on the subject. As a Napoleonic enthusiast he tells a different story. Napoleon was a saviour of France. If there had been no Napoleon, the Republic would not have survived. Advocates like de Villepin point to Napoleon’s undoubted achievements: the Civil Code, the Council of State, the Bank of France, the National Audit office, a centralised and coherent administrative system, lycées, universities, centres of advanced learning known as école normale, chambers of commerce, the metric system, and an honours system based on merit (which France has to this day). He restored the Catholic faith as the state faith but allowed for the freedom of religion for other faiths including Protestantism and Judaism. These were ambitions unachieved during the chaos of the revolution. As it is, these Napoleonic institutions continue to function and underpin French society. Indeed, many were copied in countries conquered by Napoleon, such as Italy, Germany and Poland, and laid the foundations for the modern state.

Back in 2014, French politicians and institutions in particular were nervous in marking the 200th anniversary of Napoleon's exile. My neighbours and other French friends remember that the commemorations centred around the Chateau de Fontainebleau, the traditional home of the kings of France and was the scene where Napoleon said farewell to the Old Guard in the "White Horse Courtyard" (la cour du Cheval Blanc) at the Palace of Fontainebleau. (The courtyard has since been renamed the "Courtyard of Goodbyes".) By all accounts the occasion was very moving. The 1814 Treaty of Fontainebleau stripped Napoleon of his powers (but not his title as Emperor of the French) and sent him into exile on Elba. The cost of the Fontainebleau "farewell" and scores of related events over those three weekends was shouldered not by the central government in Paris but by the local château, a historic monument and UNESCO World Heritage site, and the town of Fontainebleau.

While the 200th anniversary of the French Revolution that toppled the monarchy and delivered thousands to death by guillotine was officially celebrated in 1989, Napoleonic anniversaries are neither officially marked nor celebrated. For example, over a decade ago, the president and prime minister - at the time, Jacques Chirac and Dominque de Villepin - boycotted a ceremony marking the 200th anniversary of the battle of Austerlitz, Napoleon's greatest military victory. Both men were known admirers of Napoleon and yet political calculation and optics (as media spin doctors say) stopped them from fully honouring Napoleon’s crowning military glory.

Optics is everything. The division of opinion in France is perhaps best reflected in the fact that, in a city not shy of naming squares and streets after historical figures, there is not a single “Boulevard Napoleon” or “Place Napoleon” in Paris. On the streets of Paris, there are just two statues of Napoleon. One stands beneath the clock tower at Les Invalides (a military hospital), the other atop a column in the Place Vendôme. Napoleon's red marble tomb, in a crypt under the Invalides dome, is magnificent, perhaps because his remains were interred there during France's Second Empire, when his nephew, Napoleon III, was on the throne.

There are no squares, nor places, nor boulevards named for Napoleon but as far as I know there is one narrow street, the rue Bonaparte, running from the Luxembourg Gardens to the River Seine in the old Latin Quarter. And, that, too, is thanks to Napoleon III. For many, and I include myself, it’s a poor return by the city to the man who commissioned some of its most famous monuments, including the Arc de Triomphe and the Pont des Arts over the River Seine.

It's almost as if Napoleon Bonaparte is not part of the national story.

How Napoleon fits into that national story is something historians, French and non-French, have been grappling with ever since Napoleon died. The plain fact is Napoleon divides historians, what precisely he represents is deeply ambiguous and his political character is the subject of heated controversy. It’s hard for historians to sift through archival documents to make informed judgements and still struggle to separate the man from the myth.

One proof of this myth is in his immortality. After Hitler’s death, there was mostly an embarrassed silence; after Stalin’s, little but denunciation. But when Napoleon died on St Helena in 1821, much of Europe and the Americas could not help thinking of itself as a post-Napoleonic generation. His presence haunts the pages of Stendhal and Alfred de Vigny. In a striking and prescient phrase, Chateaubriand prophesied the “despotism of his memory”, a despotism of the fantastical that in many ways made Romanticism possible and that continues to this day.

The raw material for the future Napoleon myth was provided by one of his St Helena confidants, the Comte de las Cases, whose account of conversations with the great man came out shortly after his death and ran in repeated editions throughout the century. De las Cases somehow metamorphosed the erstwhile dictator into a herald of liberty, the emperor into a slayer of dynasties rather than the founder of his own. To the “great man” school of history Napoleon was grist to their mill, and his meteoric rise redefined the meaning of heroism in the modern world.

The Marxists, for all their dislike of great men, grappled endlessly with the meaning of the 18th Brumaire; indeed one of France’s most eminent Marxist historians, George Lefebvre, wrote what arguably remains the finest of all biographies of him.

It was on this already vast Napoleon literature, a rich terrain for the scholar of ideas, that the great Dutch historian Pieter Geyl was lecturing in 1940 when he was arrested and sent to Buchenwald. There he composed what became one of the classics of historiography, a seminal book entitled Napoleon: For and Against, which charted how generations of intellectuals had happily served up one Napoleon after another. Like those poor souls who crowded the lunatic asylums of mid-19th century France convinced that they were Napoleon, generations of historians and novelists simply could not get him out of their head.

The debate runs on today no less intensely than in the past. Post-Second World War Marxists would argue that he was not, in fact, revolutionary at all. Eric Hobsbawm, a notable British Marxist historian, argued that ‘Most-perhaps all- of his ideas were anticipated by the Revolution’ and that Napoleon’s sole legacy was to twist the ideals of the French Revolution, and make them ‘more conservative, hierarchical and authoritarian’.

This contrasts deeply with the view William Doyle holds of Napoleon. Doyle described Bonaparte as ‘the Revolution incarnate’ and saw Bonaparte’s humbling of Europe’s other powers, the ‘Ancien Regimes’, as a necessary precondition for the birth of the modern world. Whatever one thinks of Napoleon’s character, his sharp intellect is difficult to deny. Even Paul Schroeder, one of Napoleon’s most scathing critics, who condemned his conduct of foreign policy as a ‘criminal enterprise’ never denied Napoleon’s intellect. Schroder concluded that Bonaparte ‘had an extraordinary capacity for planning, decision making, memory, work, mastery of detail and leadership’.  The question of whether Napoleon used his genius for the betterment or the detriment of the world, is the heart of the debate which surrounds him.

France's foremost Napoleonic scholar, Jean Tulard, put forward the thesis that Bonaparte was the architect of modern France. "And I would say also pâtissier [a cake and pastry maker] because of the administrative millefeuille that we inherited." Oddly enough, in North America the multilayered mille-feuille cake is called ‘a napoleon.’ Tulard’s works are essential reading of how French historians have come to tackle the question of Napoleon’s legacy. He takes the view that if Napoleon had not crushed a Royalist rebellion and seized power in 1799, the French monarchy and feudalism would have returned, Tulard has written. "Like Cincinnatus in ancient Rome, Napoleon wanted a dictatorship of public salvation. He gets all the power, and, when the project is finished, he returns to his plough." In the event, the old order was never restored in France. When Louis XVIII became emperor in 1814, he served as a constitutional monarch.

In England, until recently the views on Napoleon have traditionally less charitable and more cynical. Professor Christopher Clark, the notable Cambridge University European historian, has written. "Napoleon was not a French patriot - he was first a Corsican and later an imperial figure, a journey in which he bypassed any deep affiliation with the French nation," Clark believed Napoleon’s relationship with the French Revolution is deeply ambivalent.

Did he stabilise the revolutionary state or shut it down mercilessly? Clark believes Napoleon seems to have done both. Napoleon rejected democracy, he suffocated the representative dimension of politics, and he created a culture of courtly display. A month before crowning himself emperor, Napoleon sought approval for establishing an empire from the French in a plebiscite; 3,572,329 voted in favour, 2,567 against. If that landslide resembles an election in North Korea, well, this was no secret ballot. Each ‘yes’ or ‘no’ was recorded, along with the name and address of the voter. Evidently, an overwhelming majority knew which side their baguette was buttered on.

His extravagant coronation in Notre Dame in December 1804 cost 8.5 million francs (€6.5 million or $8.5 million in today's money). He made his brothers, sisters and stepchildren kings, queens, princes and princesses and created a Napoleonic aristocracy numbering 3,500. By any measure, it was a bizarre progression for someone often described as ‘a child of the Revolution.’ By crowning himself emperor, the genuine European kings who surrounded him were not convinced. Always a warrior first, he tried to represent himself as a Caesar, and he wears a Roman toga on the bas-reliefs in his tomb. His coronation crown, a laurel wreath made of gold, sent the same message. His icon, the eagle, was also borrowed from Rome. But Caesar's legitimacy depended on military victories. Ultimately, Napoleon suffered too many defeats.

These days Napoleon the man and his times remain very much in fashion and we are living through something of a new golden age of Napoleonic literature. Those historians who over the past decade or so have had fun denouncing him as the first totalitarian dictator seem to have it all wrong: no angel, to be sure, he ended up doing far more at far less cost than any modern despot. In his widely praised 2014 biography, Napoleon the Great, Andrew Roberts writes: “The ideas that underpin our modern world - meritocracy, equality before the law, property rights, religious toleration, modern secular education, sound finances, and so on - were championed, consolidated, codified and geographically extended by Napoleon. To them he added a rational and efficient local administration, an end to rural banditry, the encouragement of science and the arts, the abolition of feudalism and the greatest codification of laws since the fall of the Roman empire.”

Roberts partly bases his historical judgement on newly released historical documents about Napoleon that were only available in the past decade and has proved to be a boon for all Napoleonic scholars. Newly released 33,000 letters Napoleon wrote that still survive are now used extensively to illustrate the astonishing capacity that Napoleon had for compartmentalising his mind - he laid down the rules for a girls’ boarding school on the eve of the battle of Borodino, for example, and the regulations for Paris’s Comédie-Française while camped in the Kremlin. They also show Napoleon’s extraordinary capacity for micromanaging his empire: he would write to the prefect of Genoa telling him not to allow his mistress into his box at the theatre, and to a corporal of the 13th Line regiment warning him not to drink so much.

For me to have my own perspective on Napoleon is tough. The problem is that nothing with Napoleon is simple, and almost every aspect of his personality is a maddening paradox. He was a military genius who led disastrous campaigns. He was a liberal progressive who reinstated slavery in the French colonies. And take the French Revolution, which came just before Napoleon’s rise to power, his relationship with the French Revolution is deeply ambivalent. Did he stabilise it or shut it down? I agree with those British and French historians who now believe Napoleon seems to have done both.

On the one hand, Napoleon did bring order to a nation that had been drenched in blood in the years after the Revolution. The French people had endured the crackdown known as the 'Reign of Terror', which saw so many marched to the guillotine, as well as political instability, corruption, riots and general violence. Napoleon’s iron will managed to calm the chaos. But he also rubbished some of the core principles of the Revolution. A nation which had boldly brought down the monarchy had to watch as Napoleon crowned himself Emperor, with more power and pageantry than Louis XVI ever had. He also installed his relatives as royals across Europe, creating a new aristocracy. In the words of French politician and author Lionel Jospin, 'He guaranteed some principles of the Revolution and at the same time, changed its course, finished it and betrayed it.'

He also had a feared henchman in the form of Joseph Fouché, who ran a secret police network which instilled dread in the population. Napoleon’s spies were everywhere, stifling political opposition. Dozens of newspapers were suppressed or shut down. Books had to be submitted for approval to the Commission of Revision, which sounds like something straight out of George Orwell. Some would argue Hitler and Stalin followed this playbook perfectly. But here come the contradictions. Napoleon also championed education for all, founding a network of schools. He championed the rights of the Jews. In the territories conquered by Napoleon, laws which kept Jews cooped up in ghettos were abolished. 'I will never accept any proposals that will obligate the Jewish people to leave France,' he once said, 'because to me the Jews are the same as any other citizen in our country.'

He also, crucially, developed the Napoleonic Code, a set of laws which replaced the messy, outdated feudal laws that had been used before. The Napoleonic Code clearly laid out civil laws and due processes, establishing a society based on merit and hard work, rather than privilege. It was rolled out far beyond France, and indisputably helped to modernise Europe. While it certainly had its flaws – women were ignored by its reforms, and were essentially regarded as the property of men – the Napoleonic Code is often brandished as the key evidence for Napoleon’s progressive credentials. In the words of historian Andrew Roberts, author of Napoleon the Great, 'the ideas that underpin our modern world… were championed by Napoleon'.

What about Napoleon’s battlefield exploits? If anything earns comparisons with Hitler, it’s Bonaparte’s apparent appetite for conquest. His forces tore down republics across Europe, and plundered works of art, much like the Nazis would later do. A rampant imperialist, Napoleon gleefully grabbed some of the greatest masterpieces of the Renaissance, and allegedly boasted, 'the whole of Rome is in Paris.'

Napoleon has long enjoyed a stellar reputation as a field commander – his capacities as a military strategist, his ability to read a battle, the painstaking detail with which he made sure that he cold muster a larger force than his adversary or took maximum advantage of the lie of the land – these are stuff of the military legend that has built up around him. It is not without its critics, of course, especially among those who have worked intensively on the later imperial campaigns, in the Peninsula, in Russia, or in the final days of the Empire at Waterloo.

Doubts about his judgment, and allegations of rashness, have been raised in the context of some of his victories, too, most notably, perhaps, at Marengo. But overall his reputation remains largely intact, and his military campaigns have been taught in the curricula of military academies from Saint-Cyr to Sandhurst, alongside such great tacticians as Alexander the Great and Hannibal.

Historians may query his own immodest opinion that his presence on the battlefield was worth an extra forty thousand men to his cause, but it is clear that when he was not present (as he was not for most of the campaign in Spain) the French were wont to struggle. Napoleon understood the value of speed and surprise, but also of structures and loyalties. He reformed the army by introducing the corps system, and he understood military aspirations, rewarding his men with medals and honours; all of which helped ensure that he commanded exceptional levels of personal loyalty from his troops.

Yet, I do find it hard to side with the more staunch defenders of Napoleon who say his reputation as a war monger is to some extent due to British propaganda at the time. They will point out that the Napoleonic Wars, far from being Napoleon’s fault, were just a continuation of previous conflicts that arose thanks to the French Revolution. Napoleon, according to this analysis, inherited a messy situation, and his only real crime was to be very good at defeating enemies on the battlefield. I think that is really pushing things too far. I mean deciding to invade Spain and then Russia were his decisions to invade and conquer.

He was, by any measure, a genius of war. Even his nemesis the Duke of Wellington, when asked who the greatest general of his time was, replied: 'In this age, in past ages, in any age, Napoleon.'

I will qualify all this and agree that Napoleon’s Russian campaign has been rightly held up as a fatal folly which killed so many of his men, but this blunder – epic as it was – should not be compared to Hitler’s wars of evil aggression. Most historians will agree that comparing the two men is horribly flattering to Hitler - a man fuelled by visceral, genocidal hate - and demeaning to Napoleon, who was a product of Enlightenment thinking and left a legacy that in many ways improved Europe.

Napoleon was, of course, no libertarian, and no pluralist. He would tolerate no opposition to his rule, and though it was politicians and civilians who imposed his reforms, the army was never far behind. But comparisons with twentieth-century dictators are well wide of the mark. While he insisted on obedience from those he administered, his ideology was based not on division or hatred, but on administrative efficiency and submission to the law. And the state he believed in remained stubbornly secular.

In Catholic southern Europe, of course, that was not an approach with which it was easy to acquiesce; and disorder, insurgency and partisan attacks can all be counted among the results. But these were principles on which the Emperor would not and could not give ground. If he had beliefs they were not religious or spiritual beliefs, but the secular creed of a man who never forgot that he owed both his military career and his meteoric political rise to the French Revolution, and who never quite abandoned, amidst the monarchical symbolism and the court pomp of the Empire, the republican dreams of his youth. When he claimed, somewhat ambiguously, after the coup of 18 Brumaire that `the Revolution was over’, he almost certainly meant that the principles of 1789 had at last been consummated, and that the continuous cycle of violence of the 1790s could therefore come to an end.

When the Empire was declared in 1804, the wording, again, might seem curious, the French being informed that the `Republic would henceforth be ruled by an Emperor’. Napoleon might be a dictator, but a part at least of him remained a son of the Enlightenment.

The arguments over Napoleon’s status will continue - and that in itself is a testament to the power of one of the most complex figures ever to straddle the world’s stage.

Will the fascination with Napoleon continue for another 200 years?

In France, at least, enthusiasm looks set to diminish. Napoleon and his exploits are scarcely mentioned in French schools anymore. Stéphane Guégan, curator of the Musée d'Orsay in Paris, which, among other First Empire artworks, houses a plaster model of Napoleon dressed as a Roman emperor astride a horse, has described France's fascination with him as ‘a national illness.’ He believes that the people who met him were fascinated by his charm. And today, even the most hostile to Napoleon also face this charm. So there is a difficulty to apprehend the duality of this character. As he wrote, “He was born from the revolution, he extended and finished it, and after 1804 he turns into a despot, a dictator.”

In France, Guégan aptly observes, there is a kind of nostalgia, not for dictatorship but for strong leaders. "Our age is suffering a lack of imagination and political utopia,"

Here I think Guégan is onto something. Napoleon’s stock has always risen or fallen according to the vicissitudes of world events and fortunes of France itself.

In the past, history was the study of great men and women. Today the focus of teaching is on trends, issues and movements. France in 1800 is no longer about Louis XVI and Napoleon Bonaparte. It's about the industrial revolution. Man does not make history. History makes men. Or does it? The study of history makes a mug out of those with such simple ideological driven conceits.

For two hundred years on, the French still cannot agree on whether Napoleon was a hero or a villain as he has swung like a pendulum according to the gravitational pull of historical events and forces.

The question I keep asking of myself and also to French friends with whom I discuss such things is what kind of Napoleon does our generation need?

Thanks for your question.

[rumblelibrary]

The Diary of Doctor Laszlo Kreizler

Chapter 1  -  Chapter 2

Synopsis: Alienist’s notes are private, sometimes gruesome, secrets of others and of himself.Those pages belongs to secrecy and decadence, have a glimpse to this world made of drafts, notes, accidents and reflections. Or maybe it is you the only person that should ever reach for it.

While you read this imagine Laszlo mostly at the end of his day, scraping the ideas and the thoughts, adjusting previous notes with additions, closing the day behind himself with a couple of sentences while sitting in his evening robe, a good glass of whiskey and his glasses bridged almost at the tip of his nose. Or maybe imagine yourself, you sneaky thing, reach for it from a far shelf.

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: listen, this is the set of ideas and confessions of a man living in the 1890’s. Most of them will be outdated, rough, even deprecating in some analysis of the roles of men, women and social status, religion, etc.So be prepared, my point is to make Laszlo reflect upon those topics, but to be as faithful as I can to his time. Mention of death, mutilation, self harm and sex. Psychologically troubled young children ahead! Author’s note: The story is placed between season 1 and season 2. Thank you for everyone that encouraged me to keep going. I have to wait for my local drop of serotonin to get fully Laszloed to go through this.

Lyra’s Contellation, Illustration taken from Uranographia by Johann Bode

Routine. Routine is comfort. Habit stabilises the character.

If you follow a routine, you won’t ever be victim of imprudence, of evil jokes of fate. The stability earned through calculated and repeated actions brings a sense of fulfilment that forbids other thoughts to come bashing in, breaking rules, breaking hopes that a solid scheduled routine forbids to have. I take my time to begin this week, I planned the things to do, the next steps for the case, the people to meet, the resources I am allowed to contemplate. I feel good, I feel back to myself and the events of the weekend seem far from me and my own perception. I probably got ahead of myself, carried by some instinctual though and random rush of emotion, to be always in contact with the same people and mostly kids probably doesn’t help my stance in the presence of other adults. I feel silly now reading back the last page, I felt tempted to tear it off, but to keep it there should be a small memento of not losing my temper so easily. I read it over and over and I know I am not as charmed as I thought I was. I am just lonely. I have always been and it is normal to face ups and downs even for a man of my age who is more accustomed to it.  To desire a partner is a natural instinct, to find somebody attractive is meant by nature, it is the body calling for the natural fulfilment of the reason we are put on this very Earth.  But even in a state of nature my own condition would be forbidding me to be part of the natural process of growing my own kind. I am the type of male that would be excluded because of his impossibility to give the protection to the pack, therefore it is just more reasonable to me to adapt to my condition. No matter what my Potentia generandi might be (the ability to procreate).

With all the smugness that characterises him, Niki showed off that he passed my challenge. But to be really of an help to his antics I didn’t show any kind of surprise. I treated him like he did the bare minimum, like he didn’t prove me any kind of superiority. He has a natural attitude toward challenging the figure of power, he is trying to overpower me, but I won’t satisfy his need. I have noticed he has a very technical brain, he finds ways to solve problems in ingenious way and not by throwing himself into the task. I proceeded giving him to work on a clock, an old broken one we had in the institute, one of the kids hit it with a ball years ago and nobody ever worked on repairing it. I gave him the clock, a couple of screwdrivers and a book. He called me a number of German names I won’t transcribe, but it gave me a certain amount of satisfaction. If my intuitions are right, I am sure the clock will be repaired by next week.

Analysis of the victim’s body through John’s eyes. The drawings and sketches are as detailed as I requested, all of this thanks to you joining him. I deal with art critic section, I am used to notice these things. You assure me, you play yourself low and I wonder why, nevertheless you did notice things neither John or I did, which pleased me. It fooled me, distracted me from my purpose to not give in to your witchery, as I leaned closer watching your pale hand move across the pages tracing this or that line, showing how this must be done with the killer on this side and not that side, with words so deliciously elaborate, your way of composing your speech is compelling, you could sell the drawing of a kid like it was a Botticelli. I noticed the shape of your hands, the way you move them, I wonder if you play an instrument, or played, some habits just stick with you through life. I focused on taking notes, your ideas and instructions giving me a new point of view, a new stimulus. What if that is the only way the killer can communicate? Or what if this is the communication that works for him? Could our killer be mute or deaf? Or that’s how society made him feel? This man, or woman, needs a listener and I am afraid that now, since he got our attention and the public’s, he won’t stop. Another killing could be just as close.

Scheduled: meeting with the parents of Alex Garel for new admission, Monday next week at 11 am. Love at first is a fetish and like all fetishes it is based onto an object that hides a deeper meaning, like gloves mean hands, to love at first sight means to see somebody that you think, and think only, to have the chance to share not only a sensual kind of bond, but an intellectual. Love at first sight is based onto not knowing someone well enough, but having the time to idealise most of that someone. I can see why I feel this attraction, using a particular phrase that Sara often mutters when investigating: you tick all the boxes. I know you do, your beauty is everything but conventional, you’re the kind of face that painters would paint and musicians would write hymns about, but any animal on the street would never be allowed to see. You have the grace of the body and the fire in the eyes, and then you speak. When you speak, I realise, you could bring the world to its knees. Also, you never speak out of context, and if you do it is to ease somebody’s position. You do it often with John or with Stevie, you say something really silly in order to put them back to a place of comfort. Some women would call it self deprecating, but I see that you only pick wisely your fights and your wins. You don’t need to earn your peace and quiet by neglecting, but by lifting up the others. I wonder if you do it with me too, if your silences are just you allowing me to be in a better place while instead your judgment is tearing me apart. I shouldn’t care, but I keep wondering, sometimes I take my time to answer you, I analyse every shade, every peculiarity of your question, I am looking for sarcasm, for a condescending voice, for something to hang on and bare you open. To prove myself you’re not perfect. But deep down I know that you do, you judge me and you do well.

Mother never said so. That’s what one of the girls in my care said today. Ursula. She is tough. Skin as thick as an alligator and the tendency to pull her own hair at night or when under a massive amount of stress, enuresis alongside erratic episodes of mutism. I tried the soft approach, it didn’t work. She is too accustomed to be indulged. Therefore today I pushed her a bit overboard, I teased her over opinions on the female body, the female role, she is only 12, but she is soon to bleed, she knows, I can tell from the way she clenches to her skirts, from the way she looks at me as a threatening figure. I am the incarnation of danger to her. Under her steady silence, I pushed a bit more, asking how her mother taught her to be nice and submissive. Does her mother tells her she is going to be a good wife? The phrase, which I reported at the top of the page, surprised me.  What is her mother teaching to her then? What closed her so much, locked her soul away, making a small bird like this choose the silence and the retirement of self inflicted pain over, what? Mankind? Or just Men? Is that even a curse? Should I cure her from a truth that her own mother whispered to her ear one night before bed and made a child decide that the world wasn’t a place to share her time with? Am I the man supposed to teach her that men are worth of trust? In the eyes of modern society, who measures its own value over the modesty of the women, she would be a champion, but at what price? I can’t in any way let her parents bring her back home after our recent meetings. Nevertheless, I have to make up my own mind on how to give her troubled soul ease without making her believe in fables. I, as a man, regard myself not worth of any of the trust they expect me to teach her.

In all of my years practicing with people’s feelings and traumas, I challenged myself to find those same traumas within my own mind. It is a tricky game, terrible, anguishing at times. But it straightens me, the pain of others, the pain of kids mostly, so unadulterated and pure, breaks the curtain between me and the lies that I often surround myself with. Pain is made of method, you can open it up, you can scrutinise it, part it piece by piece dividing it in sectors and, partitions, centre part, side part, heart of the problem. Pain is reliable. Happiness is not. It is random, cruelly sudden, unexpected, it washes over you in such deflecting way only to leave you alone a moment after ashamed and alone. I saw you again today. You were in a table full of what I could only guess as your former university colleagues, I saw pain in you, not heavy but constant. Annoyance, a bit of sadness. Your head titling on side and your eyes drifting on the left, you’re imagining something away from them.  A place? An object? Or maybe someone? Your hands play circles at the bottom of the flute of your drink like kids do, your smile only one sided. I don’t see you speak at all, only listen.  What could keep your voice down? I almost gulped down my own breath as you looked up and I realised how I must have looked. I was having lunch on my own, in a very private table and even entertaining myself with a newspaper on the side. I wish you didn’t, but you came over, your eyes shining.  Did I save you? Or maybe I was just a good excuse to leave that painful meeting behind. Don’t be so nice to me, it is not healthy. Don’t look at me like you expect anything more from me than me listening. I won’t smile back at you, I won’t give you care, attentions or thought. I won’t lean for your perfume, I won’t obsess over that dress you wore, that pin that adorned your neckline keeping your undershirt in place, a silver robin, I remember. I won’t remember the number of the buttons on the side of your glove, three. I won’t observe the little moles just under your ear. A small constellation, I later realised, hidden between your ear and the beginning of your neck. I don’t need to check in my books. It is a constellation. It is Lyra. Why? Why you must be like this? Are you the Lyra? Are you the instrument of Orpheus come to me to drag me out of Hell? The Tartarus holds my soul and you should know already, I am not worth the quarter part of Eurydice to be saved and she never came back anyway. I won’t be now recollecting the way your teeth sunk in the inner side of your cheek when you apologised for the annoyance.  You apologised twice, I ignored you both times with a raised hand to request peace and silence. I am not letting you in.

Reserved: Tickets for Wednesday’s evening Traviata by Giuseppe Verdi. The guest female lead promises a beautiful show.

Leonardo, as I am learning through Paul Valery essay, is who I would define as a figure of projective identification of the Subject or, to better explain it, of the knowledge of the Subject that formed and grew through the use of sketches in the experience of the Artist. I have always thought that the finest form of art was the representation of knowledge duly undressed by any personal identification. Leonardo, instead, proceeded to represent the figure through the essence of the artist, a representation technically unlimited on objects and symbols and that keep expressing the transformation and development of Leonardo’s own being.Some artists are testimony of the destruction of the world, of the loss of eternal beauty over decadence. And then you have Leonardo, who creates an art that is the gravity of the world’s system, of the nature, of thoughts and abstractions. I wonder if our killer does the same, if the way they presents the victim through their own personal view, if what we can read there it is their stories, their pains, their needs. Their happiness and troubles. What are they trying to tell me?  I need to know, I need to know to save a life, of course, but I also need to know to be able to sleep at night. Hair, hair are the epitome of femininity in any era. I keep studying Ursula and her habit to pull the. I took notes on it: she picks them by the bottom, slowly separates them until she gains an amount her mind defines satisfactory and then she rolls her finger and pulls, she does it until her finger is empty and there are no hair left. I find her process incredibly interesting. In men’s case the display of physical attributes is not as vital, a beard can be appreciated but does not modify the power of seduction of a grown man. On the contrary, for women hair are a vital part of their attractiveness toward the opposite sex, society sees the hair of a woman as part of their vital characteristics, also in ancient times for a woman to cut her hair or have her hair cut was a sign of deep separation from the society. Only heroines or whores wore that mark and the association of the two is so rooted into the way society always parted the role of a woman in two that it is nauseating to think of. I am still fearing to let Ursula go away, the repulsion that she is showing toward her own body makes it difficult even for me to crack her shell open as a man, but my deepest worry is when that hate will take a scarier and deeper tool on her. How a girl with such  a fear of what her body can do, like sex or pregnancy, can endure in the future to have an husband? Or even to be courted by anyone?

John is helpless and I admire him for that. He doesn’t hide it, he just is. He is vulnerable and exposed, he is an open well bursting with doubts and feelings and troubled waters. He is genuine in a way I could never be. Maybe that’s why I despise even more him talking about you, how he sees you every morning, how you greet everybody, how you behave even with interns, how you like your coffee.  Your talents, your wits, how you said this and acted like that and reasoned through him. How you forbid him to drink even when he felt tempted. How you stayed late over to help him collect all the informations I requested him to get. To him. Not to you. The evil demon of envy scratching in the back of my head screaming like a siren out in the sea, he demands to be heard, he demands to be allowed a part in this game. I won’t allow him that. I won’t allow myself any of that. This is a pure game of chess, if I give in a pawn now, I will lose my knight, and I know it. I advice him to not be so closed minded when he praises you, only to get surprised by the charms of a natural logical mind. I find a way to hurt him, he is an easy target, I look at him as his eyebrows twitch and he summons his patience on me. He lost the plot about you already, his bruised pride taking over. You won’t come into my life.

“Un dì, felice, eterea, mi balenaste innante, e da quel dì tremante vissi d'ignoto amor.”  (“On a day, happy and ethereal, you appeared in front of me and from that day, trembling, I lived on an unknown love”)

The words of Alfredo in the first act of the Traviata keep running through me, a chant that won’t let me go, almost painful. The Opera House, that was my hiding place, a place where in plain sight I could let out myself, unleash. The catharsis of the characters involved running through me, I didn’t need anything but their voices and those musical instruments to let out my fears, doubts and anger. When Alfredo came to the scene tonight, the lights were strong and slightly pinkish, the performer bursting out of the seams with passion. My eyes diverted only to see you there. Alone. Those blinding lights gave you the the radiance of a vision singing the notes of greek myths and heroes, that dark blue evening clothing rang through my eyes like it was a bright yellow, the little shiny details that adorned you so clear against the heavy lighting to look like transparent pieces of water collected to adorn your beauty. I wasn’t me, but Alfredo, and I was helpless against you sitting so far and yet too close from me. I was naked in front of thousands. I am aware of the effect you have on me and our last conversation was barely regarded as one. This is infatuation, this is the pure work of a lonely mind and not something worth of any of all the words that I am dissipating here. Yet. I saw you cry at the climax of the opera, Violetta, the protagonist, heartbroken falling on stage consumed by pain and regret for her lost love and ultimate sacrifice. Your eyes shone as you tried to hide the tears and collect yourself. Through my binoculars, I saw your throat tremble and gulp down something more than just a sigh of pain. Your jaw clenched, your gloved hand moves to hide your shaking lips. I reckon, I have never seen such sad lips look more inviting. You look at the wall on your side breathing through your nose and not even that can save you by the strength of the voice of the soprano. You’re defeated and so you brought a fine silk handkerchief to your eyes, your shoulders bent inward in self defence.  The Opera won. It won you like it always wins me. I wonder if you felt like this because of a past lover, somebody that broke your heart and made you feel wrong in any way.  And because of that little wonder it is even more clear to me why I am a man worth of no trust. Because for a moment, I know, I wished to be the one that broke your heart. That gave you just the pain you’re inflicting on me so mercilessly by offering intoxicating kindness and beauty.  To own your thoughts, tears and shame. To be the one man you have to look away from. I want to own all of that and, maybe, I will be freed of you the day you’ll be just another human being that hates Dr Laszlo Kreizler.

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[incoherentbabblings]

Hi!

I love your content, your love for TimSteph, and I was actually going to ask what you love so much about them. I, for extra credit for English, decided to write an analysis of Stephanie (and why I love her so much), but I just got into comics, and cannot really put my feelings for her in words ... which is odd, considering how much I love her and writing. Also, I was going to do a section on why TimSteph is narrative genius, and I needed help elaborating on that too.

Could you help me out, please? Thanks!

(I feel the need to mention that I have read quite a lot of comics with Stephanie in them, though not all. I'm not much of a comic book fan, but I'm really interested in the Batfamily!)

I'll be very happy to write out bullet points that you could talk about, and feel free to go through my ask and I'll babble/TimSteph meta tags for anything that you think may be worth discussing in your own words - there's like four or so years of stuff there to spark your brain.

HOWEVER!!!! Keep in mind though that much of what I have written is half based on textual evidence and half me just writing what I like/wish would crop up in canon.

For example, yes I like to draw comparisons between Tim being cold and Steph being warm, moon and sun and so on, but there's genuinely nothing in text to hint as this being an actual character trait or symbolism. If anything Tim's stated to be warm several times, more than Steph.

So, and I am sorry to be so blunt, but if I take your request in bad faith for a moment, don't use either directly or indirectly what I've written for your work. Especially without actually going and reading the arcs I talk about. A lot of the time it doesn't hold up under genuine textual scrutiny, and we want to be good academics here! There's Death of the Author and then there's me making crap up because I want to include it in a fanfic. Not the same thing! My blog is called IncoherentBabblings for a reason after all!

I will therefore say this: If you want to write about Steph as a character, I would use the below video as a point of reference. Using the below, you can then go into why she resonates with you the way she does, or why her relationship with Tim is so interesting to you.

If I were you: focus on her dynamic character development: cynical to idealistic. And use three points in her publication history to do this: her introduction in Detective Comics, War Games, and Batgirl. I am sorry to recommend War Games as something to read but it is important to her character. Use the Stephanie Brown Wiki to help!

That lends itself to a biography of her character, a look at her motivations and values, her role within the batfam, and so on. You can also use this to make comparisons with her peers, specifically Tim moving in the exact opposite direction development wise; Babs and Cass in their approaches to Batgirl; and the other Robins through her similar character progression as Dick, which in turn allows her to be a good mentor to Damian, and finally how her character arc runs perpendicular to Jason's. Does that make sense?

Anyway, let's get going! If I were to write an academic piece on Stephanie, these are the main points I would work through. In other words, this is what I would do. You probably will not need nor want to go into this level of depth, and you will want to make it much more personal about why she resonates with you, which may be different to why I love her. So don't worry about touching base with all of them. This is like... 10,000 word essay level stuff. And don't get overwhelmed. I've taken your request far too seriously is all.

Again, I can't write it for you! You gotta do the reading and writing I'm afraid.

...But I still wrote 1,500 words anyway. Gosh darnnit.

Steph’s Character Development

Always keep three points in her character history in mind – her aged 14/15 in her introductory arc in Detective Comics, her aged 16 in War Games, and her aged 18/19 in her Batgirl run.

How does she change? How does she grow as a character? What events caused these changes? Compare that angry 14-year-old trying to choke her father, to the 19-year-old crying happily on the roof. A lot happened between those two points! Outline the main plot beats.

Steph's Role as a Batfam Character:

Protagonist or Antagonist: Supporting Protagonist

Static or Dynamic: Dynamic (think of her character development - angry to alturistic; she softens in her life outlook and in the way she treats others as the years go by)

Minor or Major: Minor and we all mourn that fact :(

Foil or Symbolic: A foil to Tim Drake (and to a lesser extent the other Robins, specifically Jason Todd)

Importance of the character/Position in Society: Fourth Robin, third Batgirl, own superhero. Tim's girlfriend, Cassandra's best friend, one of many of Bruce's 'children'. Initially introduced just as a one-off character for a small arc in Detective Comics, brought back with the intention of being a supporting character to Tim Drake, and eventual love interest. Eventually gained enough popularity on her own terms to support her own solo comic, but has since returned to a supporting role. The character she supports, at the end of the day, is Bruce Wayne.

Motivation

What influences their decisions?: Stephanie's dynamic characterisation comes in here. Compare her motivations during her introductory arc, versus why she does what she does in War Games, versus why she dresses up at Batgirl - Stopping her father, getting Batman's approval, need for redemption.

What do they value?: Values emotional openness, vulnerability, second/third/fourth chances.

Goals/Hopes/Dreams: No long term goals/hopes/dreams in the domestic sense... Continue to be vigilante. Be respected by her peers. Continue to improve self worth through deeds. Graduate college?

What are their views: Views the justice system and police as corrupt, but still trusts in the inherent goodness of people. Focus is usually on the individual, rather than societal or structural.

Actions

Behaviour, Attitudes, Impact on Story and other Characters, Internal Struggle (Wants versus Needs): This is why I think you are best to look at three points in her story - Intro Arc, War Games, Batgirl. Focus on her Wants versus Needs - Steph's take a very long time to align, but they finally do in Batgirl.

Character development is usually driven by the conflict between what a character wants. The plot forces them normally to confront the fact that what they want is not gonna work out, and what they needed instead takes priority.

Everything usually goes tits up for Steph when she is in the driver's seat of the narrative because what she wants from a situation is rarely what she actually needs to happen. See every time she seeks Bruce's approval. She wants it. She absolutely does not need it. And only as Batgirl do we get that acknowledgement, which coincides with her being at the healthiest point in her life emotionally. Look at what she wants as Spoiler during her introductory arc, as Robin/Spoiler during War Games, and then as Batgirl. Why is she so unhappy in the former two? Why have her wants finally aligned with her needs with her time as Batgirl?

Character Traits

Personality: Cynical but perky. Sardonic but sincere. Think about how she changes over the time. This can be attributed to her different writers, but - for example - is there a universe reason for why Batgirl Stephanie is so much more socially awkward than Spoiler Stephanie?

Strengths & Weaknesses: Link these two together because Steph is a very good example where her strengths as a character can simultaneously be a weakness. Her determination can lead to her making ill conceived decisions. Her empathy can lead to her putting her trust in the wrong people. Her forgiving nature can lead to her being taken advantage of. Her temper, whilst landing her in hot water, can also just as often get her out of it.

Relationships

How do they interact with others: Focus on which characters pop up in all three arcs – Steph and her parents; Steph and Bruce; Steph and Tim. I am chucking Cass out the window here, sorry Cass, but if you’re focusing on these three arcs, Cass doesn’t really fit in.

How others view them: Conditional love/affection from her father and Bruce. Unconditional love/affection from Tim and her mother (though both are not without serious pitfalls).

How they view others: Stephanie has explicitly never loved her father. She has also never explicitly hated him either. What does that say about her? Look at her changing closeness with her mother. What changed between them, and again, what does that say about Stephanie? Crystal got sober, supported Stephanie through her pregnancy, Arthur was removed from their lives, Stephanie makes a conscious effort to be closer to her after returning ‘from the dead’, though continues to lie consistently to her. Stephanie admires Bruce, whilst also right from the get go insisting she does not answer to him. She never quite lets go of wanting that approval.

How does society view them: Her outsider role within the Batfam. She never quite belongs, and at points her closest relationships are actively discouraged from seeing her. Which Tim specifically never entertains. This outsider nature bites literally everyone in the butt during War Games. Her outsider status is still in place by the time Batgirl concludes, due to its largely self-contained nature as a book, but this is less being an outsider more having earned to right to operate independently. Trust has been given and earned.

Dialogue

What does she say and how: A teenage girl in New Jersey from a working class background has a very distinct voice. She does not mince words, nor does she hide what she is feeling. If she is happy, she will say so. If she is annoyed, she will say so. What she won’t do is ask for help when she needs it, due to her background formulating a need for her ‘to do things on her own’.

Think of famous/important Steph quotes from the three arcs I keep talking about – the excuse me if I don’t jump when you bark, the I really was part of the legend, the only variable you can control is yourself. These show how Steph views others and herself.

When I was writing I Would Have Loved You, I literally made a spreadsheet where I have picked out what I think are pertinent quotes from every New 52 issue featuring Tim or Steph along with a synopsis that explained what they were up to/what the main theme of the issue was. Not saying you should do the same because I’m just that goddamn anal when it comes to this sort of stuff, but the point is – look for quotes by/about Steph which highlight the above things we’ve talked about. You have thirty years to go through!

Author Intention

What purpose does this character serve?: A character that young female readers could get attached to – the every girl/girl next door archetype or a character that young boys could have a crush on – the kind of girl who’s into the same sort of stuff as you, I think Chuck Dixon once said of her, from her initial appearance. Fodder for Bruce and Tim’s man pain in War Games. Batgirl it’s a combination of filling the void for a female lead solo character in the batbooks, but also tonally taking on a much lighter and self-contained book that new readers could jump into very easily, directly compared to the more lore heavy Batman, Detective Comics, and Red Robin books.

What is the author trying to communicate: Steph’s character shows that determination can only get a person so far, a support system and doing things for the right reasons (again remember that want versus need argument) is the only way a person will genuinely succeed.

What is her main theme?: Balancing cynicism and idealism – doing acts for the right reasons, and discovering what these reasons actually are.

...

Is this even usable for anyone but myself? Possibly not!

Still... Go write! And good luck!

[mmikmmik2]

If you were to sort the Infinity Train cast(s) into the Major Arcana a la the Persona games, which Arcana would you give everyone?

anon I had SOOOOO much fun thinking about this, thank you so much for sending me this. I sorted all the major characters, plus a few other entries, based on a mix of Arcana symbolism, Persona series character archetypes, and general vibes. I came up with answers I feel pretty good about for all but four of the Arcana. (Was really tempted to say Strength is every human character who doesn't board the train because they can handle their problems on their own lol.) This is going to be a long-winded post, so I thought I’d post just the list as an image (which hopefully won’t be too blurry!) rather than wrestle with Tumblr formatting trying to make a short list, and put a big text wall under the readmore talking more about my picks.

If this list does end up illegible, the same info is under the readmore as text! Plus some characters for Magician, Strength, Justice, and Death that I didn’t want to add to the “official” list because they’re more based on headcanon. (Although my reasoning for some of the “official” picks is pretty weak lol.)

One-One as 0. The Fool

Oh my gosh, what am I?

IT is great at fleshing out character backstories and families, so One-One at the beginning of S1 is one of the few characters who really feels like a blank slate. He's got a lot of his baggage back by the end of the season, and I think One and One-One are more similar than they seem at first glance, but S1 does seem to have been very formative for One-One and how he thinks about what he's supposed to be doing and how he relates to other people. So it does kind of feel like his fool's journey.

Alrick Timmens as I. The Magician

The magician begins the journey... by beefing it on a dirt bike, dying, and sending his wife flying off the deep end. Rip.

Alrick was an engineer like Amelia, so I could see him suiting some of the themes of the Magician, like conscious thought and manifesting ideas. His apparent playfulness and insecurity are similar to the Magician characters in Persona.

Kez as II. The High Priestess

“We can’t make this decision for you, Kez.” “You know what to do.”

I thought really hard about making Kez the Magician because just like every Magician since Persona 3, she's dumb, horny, and insecure dlkjasfdkl

(and also her showing up at the start of the story arc and being helpful but also super needy is very Magician)

But the idea of "intuition" really does suit Kez. Sometimes her intuition is as bad as her conscious reasoning, but I think that's a lot because she's so confused about what happened with Jeremy, and Morgan making Kez feel like she did a bad thing by helping him.

Tuba as III. The Empress

She made me feel like I was warm all the time.

Tuba's a mom. Sorry, this one's not that deep, haha.

Simon Laurent as IV. The Emperor

Highest number! I'm the leader now.

Simon has a lot of issues, but the one that felt the most prominent to me was his unhealthy relationship with power, authority, dominance, and rules. Another quote I considered using here was what he said in Grace's memory of meeting Amelia: "I never thought I'd get to see the Conductor with my own eyes. He's perfect! Everything finally makes sense again." In his emotional crisis, he thought everything could be fixed just by the existence of a huge, scary, powerful, male authority figure, even if they weren't doing anything helpful or informative.

Atticus as V. The Hierophant

I like to think that our stones are sturdy and handsome, like the Corgis that crafted them.

Atticus is a figure of traditional authority who deeply loves the history, society, and culture of his people. He often provides spiritual wisdom and encourages Tulip to get out of her own head and engage with the world around her. Also in Persona, Hiero is the Dad Arcana so it's very funny to me (a) to make the little dog be Hiero and (b) that the little dog really does have the strongest Wholesome Dad Energy of the whole cast.

Jesse Cosay as VI. The Lovers

Don't tell me what to do. I'm not going to be a part of anything like this, on or off the train.

This was my first and easiest pick lol, Jesse is sooooo Lovers. Like, the focus on choice and personal values and relationships? Yep, that's Jesse. It works on an "actual meaning of the Arcana" level and a "vibes with the Persona characters" level lol... popular, upbeat, and having such an identity crisis.

Lake as VII. The Chariot

I'm my own person, who is getting off this train!

I don't know if Chariot captures all the ways Lake grew over the course of S2, but I feel like they had the most externally focused conflict of all the IT characters, which suits Chariot. They've been fighting to stake out their personhood from start to finish, and they took action and used their willpower to achieve that goal. Also they have at least a little jock energy which is a prereq for Chariot tbh.

Frank as VIII. Strength

I dunno, I kinda imagine him as a simple man and easily underestimated, but with a lot of heart. The Cat may say they're keeping things casual but I don't think she'd take him with her on her private vacation unless he had some kind of inner toughness that would let him stand toe-to-toe with her.

Morgan as IX. The Hermit

I need to be alone right now. Kez... maybe... we can talk later.

I like that Morgan embodies toxic self-isolation and stonewalling and rejection, but that she seems to be moving towards the positive aspects of Hermit and taking some time to calm down and process and think. I like it when characters can embody the best and worst of their Arcana.

Tulip Olsen as X. The Wheel of Fortune

We have to adapt to the changes in our lives. It's the only way things can get better.

Tulip has a lot of themes and conflicts, but this one is a clear standout as the most important. I also like it for Tulip because, while she has to handle a lot of difficult and even traumatic situations, some of the change that challenges her isn't as unambiguously bad as e.g. the death of a loved one. It really is just change itself she's struggling with, and that's Fortune babey. Also, from the perspective of the train itself and lots of other characters, by reversing Amelia and One-One's positions again and changing how One-One administrates the train, Tulip is the one giving the wheel a spin. That's fun.

Lucy as XI. Justice

One of my friends once described the Justice characters in Persona as "the ones the player character is ultimately accountable towards", and I like to think of Lucy as kind of being that for Grace (...since Hazel has excused herself). Lucy is the Apex kid we see Grace interact with the most, the first Apex kid Grace admitted to herself that she had harmed (see Grace very briefly showing distress and then regret when Jesse points the harpoons at his face and she stops him), and the first person to confront Grace when she came home in The New Apex.

Min-Gi Park as XII. The Hanged Man

I don't know if we'll sell a single album, but we'll figure that out as we go.

Min-Gi sacrifices his "realistic", "sensible" goals for a more personally (spiritually, even?) enriching life that's beyond his control and outside of the expected norm. Like the Hanged Man, who dangles foolishly upside-down, but as a deliberate choice and in a state of serenity and enlightenment. I also think this arcana suits a reading of Min-Gi's character development as starting off going slower as a way to stall and live in denial, but then going slower with deliberation. Compare his arrogant insistence on refusing to act in The Astro Queue Car to his patience and care in The Castle Car and The Train to Nowhere.

Jeremy as XIII. Death

This isn't about the death of his family - I'm thinking of his reluctance to admit his number was going down. He cared about Morgan and Kez, and it's possible both that he may have really wanted to stay with them despite his exit and that that might even have been a healthy choice - they're real ass people with feelings and everything, not holodeck characters. But I also think Jeremy was using his life with them to avoid moving on out of that fog (because it was hard and it hurt and he didn't want to think about what that would mean for him and Morgan) and Morgan was enabling him.

Ryan Akagi as XIV. Temperance

Maybe the experience is the point. I wasn't just rushing you. I was rushing myself.

I think this one speaks for itself. Also, the other quote I considered putting here, from The Art Gallery Car: "You told me I can't appreciate the song without taking in the rest of the album. I need the whole package."

The Cat as XV. The Devil

I always do the right thing.

Honestly, this is one I really wasn't sure about. The Cat isn't a great pick for a lot of the meanings of Devil. She is definitely consumed by material comforts, and the short-term rewards of ignoring her issues at a long-term cost, though. This is more of a "vibes with Persona characters with this arcana" pick... Devil characters tend to start off being somewhat exploitative or even antagonistic towards the player character, and gradually showing a more conflicted and genuine side.

Amelia Hughes as XVI. The Tower

There's a hole in the universe where Alrick used to be.

Amelia's life is defined by catastrophe and upheaval - both those she's suffered and those she's inflicted on others.

Hazel as XVII. The Star

I'm going to keep loving you like you're still here.

When I think of "The Star" as a small but inextinguishable light in the darkness, Hazel seems like the obvious choice. Although we left her deeply wounded, I think she still has a flicker of her hope, faith, and purpose.

Grace Monroe as XVIII. The Moon

But it's unfair for me to tell you how to understand yourself. I mean, I don't even fully understand me.

Grace is probably the most complex and dynamic character on the show and hence one of the most difficult to place. I considered Empress, Strength, Devil, and Judgement for her... I think ultimately, lies and illusions are the most unifying theme of her character arc. Also, from a Persona angle, her pursuit of status out of a lack of true self-worth reminds me of Ai and Mishima.

Alan Dracula as XIX. The Sun

Brought together by the majesty of a superpowered deer!

I'm sorry dkjasfklads this is largely because I thought it was funny to have this completely inexpressive dead-eyed deer as Sun akfk but also... like... it kind of works okay!!! Think about the genuine joy and comfort and positivity he brings to Lake and Jesse (and me)!

The New Apex as XX. Judgement

"Then what are we gonna be?" "Guess we'll have to figure it out?"

This is kind of a Persona mythology gag again because of Judgement being a group social link near the end of the narratives of P3 and P4, when the protagonists have pierced through the lies and actually figured out who the villain of their game is and are ready to really start making progress.

0 as XI. The World

Ah, train does it again!

It's an ending and the completion of a journey, but also the beginning of a new one. And the world is literally what the passengers receive at the end of their train journey. Welcome home.

[thewhizzyhead]

Hey, your misfits musical thing sounded super super interesting! Any other details about it that you're willing to share? Minor plot points? Gay Relationship stuff? :0

oh boy this is gonna be long *cracks knuckles* here we go

SO FUN BACKSTORY BEFORE I GET TO THE PLOT PARTS TJXJJS: my sunday school has a tradition of um holding productions of christmas musicals every december. My teachers would find american christian christmas kiddy musicals productions on youtube and then basically um translate all the dialogue to Filipino (the songs stay in English) and have us um reenact the whole thing and ngl it was a lot of fun! I even acted as some of the main roles there when I was like 10-13 so um I can kinda say that I have some experience with musical theatre YAYYY (jk jk that doesn't really count djsff).

When I was around 12-13 years old, I became obsessed with A Very Potter Musical and wondered what it would be like to make AVPM but Christmas so that my church could perform it (very silly idea but shh i was 12 and I was obsessed) and then over time a plot that Was Definitely Not Harry Potter started to form and them um here we are fjsjd so thank you Starkid for making me go down this hellhole

Oki backstory over, now here comes the very long part:

(Also um warning this musical concept involves a lot of religion talk since majority of the thingy is me criticizing a lot of the hypocrisies in religious institutions here based on my experience so um yea proceed with caution if ur sensitive to religion-related stuff)

p.s. ari i am so so sorry but this is so fucking long and definitely more than what you asked for so um yea goodluck fjxjsjf

SO BASICALLY Misfits is about 5 "narrators" - these guys serve as the "floor directors" of the show and um yea they make sure that the plot actuall happens and everything goes exactly according to the script given by the church higher ups or "producers" - who have to bring 3 teens branded by their church as "Misfits" back to Bethlehem 1 CE in order to "teach them a lesson about God" aka convert them to Christianity thus removing the "Misfits" branding. (Also they can only go back once they successfully arrive at the manger because um that's how the producers want it to be tjxjs)

I have to emphasize that although this tackles a lot of stuff related to Christianity and religion as a whole, this really isn't a Christian Musical and that this very morally questionable mission (through the power of Stage Magic and Super Powers, the Narrators essentially bring the Misfits back to the past against their will for the sake of completing their mission) goes horribly, horribly wrong very very quickly.

Throughout the course of the musical, the 5 Narrators struggle to stick to the given script and get their mission done as the 3 Misfits prove to not only be very freaking stubborn but also quite insightful as well as they bring up really good points in regards to religious hypocrisies and socially questionable, prejudiced and backward views commonly held by most religious institutions here i.e gender roles, homophobia, the demonization of science and technology at times, elitism and classism, etc etc (i can only speak in behalf of the Philippines so um yea Philippines). Overall, this is kinda a case study on as to how religion can influence and shape people's mindsets for either the better or the worse and how it is often used by the authorities to simultaneously give hope to the people (especially those of the poorer sectors wherein because of how hopeless the present seems here because a very flawed system kept in place by the exploitative privilged here, they choose to just trust in God instead and also hope that the afterlife is much much better than this shit) while also keeping them in line and like preventing them from rioting. (Church and politics undeniably go hand in hand here even though we have legislations enforcing the separation of the church and state and um yEA THIS WHOLE THING HAS BEEN VERY PROMINENT THROUGHOUT PHILIPPINE HISTORY AND WE CAN ALL THANK THE SPANIARDS but um anyways that'll be a rant for another day)

On a more personal and emotional aspect, this thingy also tackles a lot of stuff I find rather common among kids my age, especially those who had a very Christian upbringing (aka 99.9% of the philippine population tjxbdbf). There's a lot of questioning involved in regards to one's faith, sexuality, perspective and purpose in life and all that fun stuff and how oftentimes said questioning is discouraged due to the church (and ph society overall) wanting us to just like um sTICK TO THE STATUS QUOoOoO and just comply with what is seen as appropriate and godly cause anything out of the ordinary is ngl treated like it's heresy. (YES THERE WILL BE A LOT OF SELF PROJECTION HERE)

One final and important thing to note is that the show is essentially a musical-inside-a-musical in a way fjsjf I originally designed this thing to be like um produce-able on my church's stage (because they were supposed to help me produce the first version of misfits which um yea that's def not gonna happen now tjxjdv) which um kinda looks like the OG Spring Awakening Stage (and yes Misfits is very much inspired by Spring Awakening God I love that show) which is why the show is kinda stylized like a concert with handheld mics and all wherein um the 5 narrators are aware that they are putting on a show to the point of even directly addressing the audience a lot while the 3 Misfits (except for 1 which i'll get to in a bit) aren't aware that they are in a show. The three do eventually find that out and that's when all hell breaks loose to the point that the "producers" (represented by Hades-ish voices) have to intervene by literally changing and manipulating the show's setting and plot to make sure that their script gets followed and that's when the characters really try to break the show to get out of it bUT THE POINT I WANNA MAKE HERE IS THXJD keeping in mind that I had initially planned for Misfits to be produced by my church prior to the many drastic changes, the show the narrators were putting on (aka the musical-inside-the-musical) was made with the intention to pander to a Very Religious Audience. Successfully convincing people to convert to Christianity, especially those of the youth, is what many religious audiences want to see and that is exactly what the "producers" have written for the 5 "narrators and floor directors" to enact. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a Christian and preaching the Gospel and bringing in new believers isn't essentially a bad thing; if they want to believe in the religion then woo good for them! But, such preaching becomes detrimental when you take away one's agency and basically force them into Christianity by means of guilt tripping and manipulation which is sadly very much a reality here (again, a rant for another day) and a representation of such is shown here in the show where um the 3 Misfits were basically forced into this show that 5 Narrators are putting on and, through the influence of the 5 Narrators, the 3 Misfits have to decide to become "good Christian youths" for the show to conclude because that's show the "producers" have written. So when the 3 Misfits stubborness goes to the point that even the 5 Narrators start questioning the morals of their mission, that's when the show starts to go off-script and that's when the production starts to like umm "break" and whenever that happens, the "producers" start speaking to the Narrators, reminding them that they have an audience that they need to please and a message that they need to convey.

So while the Misfits (2 of them, at least, cause um the third one has um yea i'll get to him in a bit) mainly focus on figuring out what in the everliving fuck is going on (while also dealing with their um unfortunate circumstances, childhood trauma, a shit ton of guilt and the concept of salvation and self-forgiveness), the Narrators are tasked with the burden of carrying the show and making sure that the audience finds it appealing while trying to convince themselves that what the church wants them to do is "right" and what the Misfits keep telling them is "wrong" ala um Holier-Than-Thou mindset. Once they eventually start becoming more willing to see the true nature of both the Misfits and the Producers despite the fear of disappointing everyone who's watching, that's when the Narrators and Misfits all start breaking the show by going off-script and completely destroying the plot and production that the Producers have made for the audience - thus making a statement of refusing to comply with a flawed system for the sake of audience approval while also making the first step to fixing that system for the good of all.

Also fun fact: Although it'll make my job a lot harder because I am more fluent in English than in Filipino, i wanna write the thingy in both English and Filipino fjxjdf the dialogue can be Taglish but um the songs that are "part of the script" aka what the Producers want the characters to sing are in English while the songs that aren't part of the script are in Filipino; songs that are both in Filipino and in English are um i guess indicative of the struggle to follow the script while also trying to do what you believe is right (an example of a song with that style is Interpretasyon - which means Interpretation and um Ezekiel (one of the Misfits) sings in Filipino while Joshua (leader of the narrators) sings in English and um just imagine Wallflower cuz IT IS VERY MUCH LIKE WALLFLOWER GJDJNF) and um yea i kinda imagine it to be some sort of rock-pop musical concert thingy so um woo thank you pma for once again influencing my work

SO ANYWAYS UM THAT WAS LONG SO LET'S GO TO THE GAY SHIT

Okay so far 4/8 of the characters here have queerness directly related to their individual plotlines here but um yea honestly i'm tempted to make all of them queer CAUSE IT'S FUN oki so um anyways on to the character dynamics (I won't be able to include more in depth descriptions because im hungry and GOD THIS IS LONG so um yea)

June & Anna (Narrator 2) - oki so June here is one of the Misfits and she's from the poorer sectors (i'm still working on her backstory to make it more believable but um yea) and she isn't able to go to school due to having to prioritize providing for her family first. Due to a very unfortunate childhood event (one that involves Zack, another Misfit), she had to grow up fast and now appears to have a rather jaded view of the world. Anna, one of the Narrators, is the very opposite of that - she's privileged and wealthy-as-fuck and seems to be very optimisitc and friendly. However, ever since she has been blackmailed by her own churchmates for merely questioning her sexuality (true story), she became a more reserved and emotionally closed person despite her very friendly and cheerful demeanor. So when she finds out that June's music carries a lot of beautiful insight and hope in spite of her unfortunate circumstances (the two girls bond over music btw that's how Anna got June to trust in her), she becomes confused because how can June, a girl who has nothing, not even faith, still have hope that she'll be able to find some semblance of happiness while Anna, who has everything, has such a downtrodded view of the world? So um basically their dynamic will also consist of Anna checking her privilege, June explaining how good people turn against the world when the world turns against them (YES A LOT OF TALK ABOUT POVERTY AND HOW THAT IS A RESULT OF CAPITALISTIC EXPLOITATION) (yes June will talk about that a lot), and um what it means to hope with or without faith and what it means to trust another and oneself again. Oh and also lots of philosophy talk and emotional expression through music wie

Zack and Mikael (Narrator 3) - Zack, another Misfit, is a childhood friend of June and a younger stepbrother of Ezekiel (the third Misfit). After Zack and June lost contact after the 'unfortunate childhood event' (i am not sure on what exactly it'll be but in the earlier drafts a fire burned both of their homes and killed both of their dads and rn I have a song concept describing that called "Umaapoy" which means "Burns" but i dunno i'm still working on it), he became best friends with Mikael and um yea said best-friendship was Definitely Not Platonic. After a picture of them kissing was sent to not only the school principal but to basically everyone in the school, both of their parents were called to the principal's office which led to both of the boys moving to different schools to um mitigate the damage i guess gjdjd while Zack's mom eventually learned to accept her son's sexuality, Mikael um wasn't so lucky - I'd say he went through um a lot of religious intervention almost akin to conversion therapy which then um yea has caused him a lot of internalized homophobia and um yea Mikael and Zack haven't been able to talk or even chat in about 3-4 years so imagine Mikael's surprise when he found out that his mission involved Zack - who does not and cannot recognize Mikael because welp not part of the script. Zack, a bit braver now, takes a liking to Mikael and wants to at least be friends with him partly because he somehow finds him really familiar while um Mikael tries to maintain a strictly professional demeanor out of fear that Zack will recognize him and out of fear that he'll fall in love with Zack again. Their dynamic will also include um learning to trust one another and oneself again (like June & Anna's dynamic), to learn how to be brave and be sure in one's beliefs (Mikael um doesn't really speak up that much out of fear while Zack is not only outspoken, but is also an activist - this is another one of the many reasons why Zack is branded as a "Misfit" aside from the fact that he's gay and um yea Ezekiel spends almost 2 minutes berating Joshua for this out of pure anger and disgust), and what it means to reconnect with the past and to forgive oneself (although that is much more expounded upon with June & Zack's dynamic).

Ezekiel and Joshua (Narrator 1) - SAY HI TO THE RILEY AND CAIRO DYNAMIC WOOOOOOO but yea ari dude your analysis on Riley and Cairo (and Kate) being the Main MAIN characters and everything about cheerwives gave me a lot of think about and SO I PUT IT IN HERE WOOOOOO so basically um Ezekiel is the older stepbrother of Zack and the first of the 3 Misfits to figure out that they are in a show. He figures this out because he recognizes Joshua aka the leader of the Narrators aka his former churchmate and ex-bestfriend. He also realizes that they are in a show because he recognizes their tricks which he knew about because he had participated in these missions before as one of the Narrators (Joshua and Ezekiel are older than the rest of the cast and the other narrators don't know that Ezekiel was once a Narrator as well). Due to an Unfortunate Incident (that i'm still working on) 3 years prior to the events in the show, Ezekiel cut off all ties to the church but he is still viewed as this "perfect role model golden boy" which is why the 4 Narrators were shocked to find out that Ezekiel was part of their mission. Joshua, knowing that the real reason to his sudden involvement is due to "producers" somehow finding out their secret about the Unfortunate Incident, lied and told the others that he was just included to make converting his brother a lot easier, which they believed. Out of all the narrators, Joshua is the one who tries his best to stick to the script the most because he knows that if he doesn't, the true nature of that Unfortunate Incident will not only be revealed to his companions but to everyone else watching. Meanwhile Ezekiel, who doesn't know that him being involved in this mission is some sort of um penance for his involvement in that Unfortunate Incident, tries his hardest to sabotage he show by being the most outspoken when pointing out a lot of hypocrisies within religious institutions and in ph society in general (he refuses to tell the other two that they are in a show though because if that happens, he knows the Narrators, Joshua especially will um get very heavily scolded by the producers and despite everything, he still cares for Joshua a lot). I'd say that these two are the ones that push the plot the most - one wants to push the show accordingly to plan in order to please the audience and the producers and in order to not let his and Ezekiel's secret go out while the other wants to push the show off-script in retaliation against the producers (and yes the Unfortunate Incident involved the time travelling thingy which is why he really wants to sabotage this). In fact, these two have 2 duets that are basically them trying to convince the other to go along with their plan ("Interpretasyon" which means Interpretation and "Sikreto" which means secret). This dynamic involves um yea trying to convince the other to switch sides gjxjd and um reconciliation, responsibility out of guilt, and what it means to forgive oneself (forgiveness is a common theme here) and to start to heal from trauma and to not deny the existence of said trauma any longer.

NOW ORIGINALLY I REALLY DID NOT INTEND THE JOSHUA AND EZEKIEL DYNAMIC TO BE GAY BUUTT WHEN I WAS THINKING OF THE LYRICS, I REALIZED THAT OUT OF CONTEXT, IT SOUNDED VERY GAY SO UM HERE'S AN EXCERPT OF SIKRETO (still not finished writing the thingy)

Joshua: (singing to Ezekiel) (this is also the first time Joshua sings a Filipino solo so this is him breaking the script for the first time) (also um yea the translations aren't direct translations cause I wanted to make them rhyme fnxnf) (So to those who know filipino i am terribly sorry cause yup this isnt an accurate translation fjfjd)

Ang natitirang alaala ay aking binura (I have scrubbed away all the memories that may have still remained)

‘di ko na sila kilala (I don't know them anymore)

Kinalimutan na kita (I have forgotten about your name)

Ngunit ang bigat ng pagsisisi ang aking dinadala (But the weight of regret, I carry all the same)

Ang sakit sa balikat, lagi kong dinarama (I constantly feel the sting of my shoulders' pain)

Pero masasabi ko pa rin na sinusubukan kong itama (But at least I can say, I tried to right-)

Ang aking mga pagkakamali (all that's wrong)

Ikaw, saan ka pumunta? (What about you? Where in the world have you gone?)

Tumakbo ka lang at iniwan mo ako (You ran, you just ran, and left me behind)

Sa pagbubuhat ng kasalanan at sikreto (In carrying the sins and secrets, and you paid me no mind)

Pero pinapanatili ko paring malinis ang ating munting kwento (But I stillade sure I kept our little story clean)

Patuloy na sinisigurong ‘di nila malalaman ang totoo (I kept on making sure the truth would never be seen)

Alam na natin ang kwento (We already know the story)

Alam na natin ang kwentong kailangang itago (We know the story that we need to hide)

Itong munting sikreto ay kailangan burahin (This little secret that has to be erased)

Ating pagkakamali, patuloy na bubuhatin (We will have to always carry, our sins and our mistakes)

Alam na natin ang kwento (We already know the story)

Alam natin ang katotohanan ng nakaraan (We very well know the truth of the past)

Ito'y nakabakas sa isipan, ‘di natin malilimutan (We'll never forget what will remain ingrained in our minds)

At sa Diyos na lang natin mahahanap ang kapatawaran (And from only God could we find forgiveness for what we left behind)

Habang buhay bubuhatin ng konsensiya (Forever will our consciences bear the weight and carry

ang ating pagkakasala, ang kwento't sikreto nating dalawa (our sins kept in secrecy, the story of you and me)

Pero ngayon, ‘di ko alam paano pero nalaman nila (But now, I don't know how, but somehow they know)

At ngayon, dinedemanda na nila ang penitensya (And now, penitence is what they demand)

Kaya ngayon, naghihingi ako ng pasensiya (So now, patience and forgiveness is what I ask)

Sa iyo at sa kanila (From you and from them)

Sa aking gagawin at mga nagawa (for what I'll do and I've done)

Baka nga (Perhaps)

Tama nga mga sinabi mo (What you've said all this time is right)

Na ‘di tayo ang tanging may sala rito (That we aren't the ones only at fault here)

Pero ‘di ko matatakasan ang aking naging tungkulin (But I can't really escape my little role here, because)

Sana ‘di mo nakalimutan: lahat sila nakatingin (God I hope you haven't forgotten: they're all looking at us)

Lagi silang nakatingin (Always looking at us)

Kahit ano man ang iyong gawin (No matter what we do)

Tayo'y mananatili sa entablado (On the stage we shall stay)

At lahat sila nakatingi- (And the stares still won't go awa-) (He then realizes that he's on stage and Should Not Be Having A Breakdown In Front Of The Audience Because Duh and Because That's Not Part Of The Script)

SO UM YEA IN RETROSPECT SOME OF THOSE LYRICS COULD ALSO REFER TO SOME SECRET NOT-PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP THAT THE AUDIENCE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT YET (because the Secret doesn't get revealed til much later) WHEN IN ACTUALITY IT'S ABOUT THE TRUTH BEHIND WHAT HAPPENED 3 YEARS PRIOR TO THE EVENTS IN THE SHIW AND NOT GONNA LIE,,, THEM BEING IN A NOT-SO-PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP KINDA ALSO WORKS SO I'M CONSIDERING MAKING THEM HAVE SOME ROMANTIC HISTORY TOO JDHXBSJF

Oki that's all for today hdhdh there are two more characters (narrators 4 and 5) but i'm still working on them and i kinda wanna make the both of them not cis cause WHY NOT also i have been typing this for like 6 hours now and i'm tired and hungry so tjjxjs anyways if you read to the end, I'm sending you carbonara-

[dfroza]

rooted.

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 2nd chapter of the letter of Colossians:

This battle I am facing is huge. And I want you to know I do it for you, for all those at Laodicea, and for everyone else (even those who have never seen my face). I’m working hard to comfort and encourage them so that they will be knit together—that many hearts would become one through His love. I do it so they will be rich in understanding and have full knowledge of God’s mystery, which is the Anointed One Himself— in Him all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are concealed. I only tell you this to warn you about those who would try and deceive you with their arguments. They seem plausible enough; but in the end, they are false. Even though I cannot be there in the body, my spirit is with you; and I’m happy to know of your good order and your solid commitment to the Anointed One, our Liberating King.

Now that you have welcomed the Anointed One, Jesus the Lord, into your lives, continue to journey with Him and allow Him to shape your lives. Let your roots grow down deeply in Him, and let Him build you up on a firm foundation. Be strong in the faith, just as you were taught, and always spill over with thankfulness. Make sure no predator makes you his prey through some misleading philosophy and empty deception based on traditions fabricated by mere mortals. These are sourced in the elementary principles originating in this world and not in the Anointed One (so don’t let their talks capture you). You see, all that is God, all His fullness, resides in His body. You, too, are being completed in Him, the One who has dominion over all rule, all authority. In Him you were also circumcised, set apart by a spiritual act performed without hands. The Anointed One’s circumcision cut you off from the sinfulness of your flesh. You were buried with Him beneath the waters of the ceremonial washing called baptism and then were raised up with Him by faith in the resurrection power of God, who brought Him back from the dead. And when your flesh was still uncircumcised—dead in transgression and swathed in its sinful nature—it was God who brought us to life with Him, forgave all our sins, and eliminated the massive debt we incurred by the law that stood against us. He took it all away; He nailed it to the cross. But that’s not all. He disarmed those who once ruled over us—those who had overpowered us. Like captives of war, He put them on display to the world to show His victory over them by means of the cross.

So don’t let anyone stand in judgment over you and dictate what you should eat or drink, what festivals you should celebrate, or how you should observe a new moon or Sabbath days— all these are only a shadow of what shall come. The reality, the core, the import, is found in the Anointed One. Don’t be cheated out of the prize by others who are peddling the worship of heavenly beings and false humility. People like this run about telling whoever will listen what they claim to have seen; but in reality they testify only to an inflated mind, saturated in conceit—not in the Spirit. They are detached from the very head that nourishes and connects the whole body with all of its nerves and ligaments, a body that grows by the kind of growth that can only come from God.

Listen, if you have died with the Anointed One to the elemental spirits of the cosmos, then why are you submitting yourselves to its rules as if you still belonged to this world? You hear, “Don’t handle this! Don’t taste that! Don’t even touch it!” but everything they are obsessed about will eventually decay with use. These rules are just human commands and teachings. Here’s what they are promoting: fabricated religion, self-humiliation, and bodily abuse. No matter which way they try to tether their bodies, they cannot harness their desires.

The Letter of Colossians, Chapter 2 (The Voice)

A set of notes from The Voice translation:

Paul calls the believers in Colossae to remain steadfast in their faith.

At the heart of the good news is a mystery hidden in ancient Scriptures but now exposed to the world through the lives of the church’s holy ones. Paul never refers to just one “holy one”; he always uses the plural. He knows that holiness is too difficult for us to accomplish on our own. Each of us has to be called and equipped by God, but we also have to be accompanied by others who’ve answered the call. Those who say “yes” to Jesus become the church, the company of those rescued from darkness and ultimately from death. Paul is fond of calling the church the body of the risen Jesus. Our own hopes and dreams for the future are concentrated in Him. Not only do we dwell in Him, but He also dwells in us.

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 48th chapter of the book of Jeremiah:

This is what the Eternal, Commander of heavenly armies and God of Israel, has to say about Moab.

Eternal One: Woe to the city of Nebo, for she is in ruins.

So, too, will Kiriathaim be put to shame when she is captured.

The proud fortress of Moab will be humbled and shattered into pieces.

No one will praise you, Moab—that time has gone.

Instead, in places like Heshbon, men are planning your destruction.

“Come,” they will say, “and let us finish off that nation.”

Indeed, the town of Madmen will be silenced,

for war will surely find you.

Do you hear the voice from Horonaim—

the cries rising up from the ruins and desolation?

Moab is broken,

and her little ones cry in desperation.

The defeated make their way up Luhith, crying bitterly as they go;

as they descend to Horonaim, they hear the anguished cries of destruction.

Run for your lives! Save yourselves!

Live in the desert like a juniper bush, alone and forsaken.

You depended on your own works and your own wealth,

and now you will be humbled and taken captive.

Your so-called god, Chemosh, will go with you into exile

along with his priests and officials.

The destroyer is coming to each of your towns; none of them will escape.

The valley will be ruined;

The plateau will be destroyed

because I, the Eternal One, have spoken.

Give Moab wings so she can fly away.

Her cities will be a wasteland with no one living in them.

A curse on any who do not finish the work I, the Eternal One, have given you! A curse on anyone who holds back his sword and refuses to shed blood.

Moab has been at rest since his early days—

like wine that is carefully left to age,

Not poured from jar to jar,

not going from nation to nation in exile.

And so his flavor has remained; his aroma has not faded.

But all of that will change. Look, in the coming days, I, the Eternal One, declare that I will send those who will upend him, stirring him up and pouring him out until his jars have nothing left. They will empty his jars and smash the empty jugs.

Then Moab will be ashamed of his powerless god, Chemosh, just as the people of Israel were ashamed of Bethel when they trusted in their false gods.

Eternal One: How can you still boast,

“We are mighty warriors, brave in battle?”

Because Moab is destroyed;

invaders have laid waste his towns.

His best young men have gone down to slaughter.

So say I, the King whose name is the Eternal, Commander of heavenly armies.

The fall of Moab is at hand;

his disaster is coming quickly.

Grieve for him, you neighbors of Moab,

all who know his name.

Say, “Look how his mighty scepter is broken,

how the splendor of his staff is gone!”

You people of Dibon, come down from your glory on the hills

and sit on the dry, dusty ground and wait,

For the same one who destroyed Moab

is coming against you and will tear down your strongholds as well.

Stand by the road and watch closely,

you people of Aroer.

Call out to the refugees running from Moab.

Ask them what happened!

And they will answer: “Moab has been humiliated and crushed.

Weep for him, and cry out.

Go down to the Arnon River and

proclaim that Moab has been destroyed.”

Judgment has come to the cities of the plain: to Holon, Jahzah and Mephaath; to Dibon, Nebo, and Beth-diblathaim; to Kiriathaim, Beth-gamul, and Beth-meon; to Kerioth and Bozrah. To all the cities of Moab, far and near, judgment has come.

Eternal One: The symbols of his strength are gone; the horn of Moab has been cut off, and his arm broken.

Make Moab drink deeply from this cup until he is drunk, for he has exalted himself above the Eternal. Make him drink until he wallows in his own vomit; then he will be ridiculed by all who see him. Did you not ridicule Israel? Was he guilty of a crime? Was he caught among thieves? Is that why you, Moab, shake your head in contempt every time you speak of him?

Eternal One: Run from your towns and live in the wilderness,

you citizens of Moab;

Hide among the rocks

like doves who nest among the cliffs.

We have all heard about the pride of Moab—

so vain and so smug.

We have all heard about her pride and arrogance

and her overconfident heart.

I, too, know of the arrogant outbursts, but they are pointless;

empty boasts accomplish nothing.

This is why I will mourn for Moab; for all her people, I will cry aloud;

for the men of Kir-heres, I will moan.

You who tend the prolific vineyards in Sibmah,

I will cry for you more than I did for Jazer.

Your vines once spread as far as the sea, as far as the sea of Jazer.

But now the destroyer has spoiled your summer harvest and sweet grapes.

The joy of the harvest is gone from Moab’s orchards and vineyards.

For I have stopped the flow of wine; no one treads the grapes.

The land is full of shouting, but they are not shouts of joy.

The anguish of their cries rises from Heshbon to Elealeh and Jahaz, from Zoar all the way to Horonaim and Eglath-shelishiyah; for even the waters of Nimrim will dry up.

Eternal One: I will put an end to idol worship in Moab, to those who make offerings on shrines in high places and burn incense to so-called gods.

Like the somber sound of a flute, my heart mourns for Moab. My heart mourns for the men of Kir-heres, for everything they had is gone.

For every head is shaved, and every beard is cut short;

every hand is cut, and every waist is wrapped in sackcloth.

Eternal One: On every rooftop in Moab and on every street corner,

there is nothing but mourning

Because I have smashed Moab like a jar that no one wants.

How broken he is! How the people wail!

How the once-proud Moab turns away in shame!

See how Moab has become a laughingstock

and a horror to all his neighbors.

Eternal One: Look in the distance: an eagle will swoop down

and spread his wings over Moab, his prey.

The cities will be captured and the strongholds seized.

On that day the heart of Moab’s warriors

Will be like the heart of a woman in labor—helpless and vulnerable.

The nation of Moab will be no more

because he dares to defy the Eternal.

Terror and traps and snares lie ahead, O citizens of Moab.

Eternal One: If you run from the terror, you will fall into a pit.

If you climb out of the pit, you will be caught in a trap.

There is no escape, for I will bring these disasters against Moab;

the year of their judgment has come at last.

Run if you will, but in Heshbon’s shadow the refugees are helpless.

Look! A fire rages from Heshbon; destroying flames leap from Sihon;

They consume the northern regions of Moab

and destroy his clamoring rebels.

Woe to you, O Moab! Worshipers of Chemosh are destroyed;

your sons are sent away, your daughters taken captive.

But even so, in latter times the day will come

when I will restore the fortunes of Moab.

This is the end of Jeremiah’s oracle of judgment against Moab.

The Book of Jeremiah, Chapter 48 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

Next is Moab, a familiar enemy of Israel. Despite Jeremiah’s warning they will answer for their trust in themselves, their material wealth, and their god Chemosh.

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for Wednesday, October 18 of 2023 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons about the nature of divine Judgment:

Some of the sages have noted that God’s judgment comes in stages. The Great Flood was preceded by four successive generations of prophets that warned of the coming cataclysmic judgment: Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech, and finally Noah. It is fascinating to understand that Adam himself was alive when Noah’s grandfather Methuselah was born, so the original message of teshuvah (repentance) was an echo that came from Eden itself; moreover, consider that Abraham personally knew of Noah (Abraham was 58 years old when Noah died), and undoubtedly Noah’s son Shem told him of his grandfather Lamech, who had seen and spoken with Adam himself - the man who was directly created by God alone. Later, Abraham's son Isaac also came to know Shem, Noah's firstborn son, and the legacy of the "gospel of the garden" was thereby passed on...

The first stage of judgment occurred when people disregarded the inherent dignity of others created in the image and likeness of God. This negation of the divine characteristics of people (i.e., the image of God) led to sexual promiscuity that became rampant upon the earth: “The sons of God saw the daughters of man that they were fair, and they took for themselves wives, whomsoever they chose” (one midrash claims that the Dor HaMabul, the generation of the flood, would regularly exchange marital partners). God then gave mankind 120 years to repent from his sexual corruption or be faced with apocalyptic destruction (Gen. 6:3). Despite Noah’s 120 year public building project and the preaching of his grandfather Methuselah, God’s patience finally ran out (1 Pet. 3:20). God then “saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually” (Gen. 6:5). Mankind refused to repent and turn to God....

There is a tragic progression at work here. The practice of “casual” acts of lawlessness eventually led to the acceptance and practice of sexual promiscuity. This, in turn, resulted in the loss of mankind’s sanctity (kedushah), since this comes from man’s ability to subordinate his instinctual/emotional desires to his intellectual/spiritual life. Genuine sanctity refuses to exploit others as means to an end. Disregarding this truth cheapens and impairs the sense of self, causing disintegration of the spiritual life. As humanity became more and more fractured and stupefied, God’s “like for like” judgment resulted in “giving them over” (paradidomi) to the lusts of their hearts (Rom. 1:26). (In our culture of unbridled pornographic expression and sexual immorality, we mirror such an antediluvian world view. Indeed, it is a mark of our age to be enamored with “degrading passions,” with gender confusion and regularly practiced idolatry (i.e., fornication, adultery, homosexual relationships, and so on)). The final verdict of this practiced chamas (lawlessness) was the bestowal of a “depraved mind” (αδοκιμον νουν), a condition of being unable to reason properly at all. Since truth is essentially grounded in a sense of value, and value is a function of conscience, a depraved mind is literally insane from a spiritual perspective... People who are devoid of conscience are unable to reason along the lines of ethical truth at all. This promoted a cultural collusion to suppress the truth, to silence the truth-tellers, to kill the prophets, and to gag advocates for justice. Lawlessness squelches the inward voice of right and wrong within the human heart.

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

=========

Psalm 14:3 reading:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm14-3-jjp.mp3

Hebrew page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm14-3-lesson.pdf

10.16.23 • Facebook

from yesterday’s email by Israel 365:

It is hard to reconcile the clash between the ideal of peace and the stark reality of war. While we yearn for global and internal peace, we are all too often confronted with the moral complexities of armed conflict. What does the Bible have to say about war?

A few words about Israel by Jonathan Cahn:

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

October 18, 2023

God's Final Word

“The LORD shall be king over all the earth: in that day shall there be one LORD, and his name one.” (Zechariah 14:9)

God cannot be defeated in His creative purpose for this earth and its people. In the beginning, there was only God. In the ending, there will be one Lord, and His name one.

In the meantime, He is working out His great plan of reconciliation, as revealed in His Word. In the magnificent book of Revelation, especially the last two chapters, we are carried forward in the Spirit into the never-ending glories of the renewed earth, with the great Creator and Redeemer dwelling there with His people eternally.

But in that final chapter, there are some final words from the Lord to guide and warn us until He returns. There is one final invitation, for example: “And let him that is athirst come” (Revelation 22:17). Then there is a final warning. This completed book of Scripture contains all that man will ever need to know concerning salvation, the Christian life, and God’s great plans, so let no man “add unto these things” or “take away from the words of the book of this prophecy” (vv. 18-19). There is no salvation except through His Word.

Next, there is a final promise. “He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly” (v. 20). Of all the promises of God, there is none more “exceeding great and precious” than this (2 Peter 1:4). In response, there is a final prayer, teaching us that this should be the climax of every believing prayer: “Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus” (v. 20). This is our greatest need!

Lastly, there is a final benediction, the same as the close of each of Paul’s epistles, and the most wonderful of all the words of a holy, yet loving, Creator, “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen” (v. 21). It is fitting that God’s Word, which began with His creation, should end with His saving grace! HMM

[witchcraftingboop]

Re: Jbird & RainS. (Briar) Discourse

Previously, I have spoken with the person who made very serious allegations against JBird, calling him a racist, that were then used by others to spread slander against him. They have since apologized and admitted that JBird isn't a racist, and I genuinely think there was a stark miscommunication that went on to prompt such a claim. I don't want to name them or involve them here, since I do believe they've already reflected enough on the situation at hand, and is still deeply considering the multi-faceted hornet's nest of problems they've stumbled upon.

However, in light of the blatant dismissal and refusal to submit actual proof against the two, I feel as if I should share the information I offered this person before.

If you are basing your arguments against Jbird and Briar off of the previous, separate Discord group discussions of Trio & co. - screenshots of which have been, and continue to be spread years later, by Prim - then I especially implore you to be open to what I have to say. As a third party to this continually and rapidly spiralling debacle, I feel like there's not much I can say or do to assist my friends in being heard, but I feel as if I ought to try. Prim's following is large and actively prepared to follow her "do not interact even to ask questions" policy, so I worry it may be too late already. But I am not without hope or faith.

Tumblr is, unfortunately, a place where hate spreads rapidly, and while I do love the broad community it fosters, I am also aware that, even with the best of folks, it is hard to see the side of someone you've already decided is guilty and not worth approaching for an explanation.

First and foremost, I believe in innocence until proven guilty.

Now then! Onto my offered commentary/input! (Sorry to prattle on so much.)

To start, thedesertgod, also known as Trio, did go through and look for her personal information, which is messed up. But that person has already apologized, if I'm remembering correctly, and left Tumblr. And the other main user who helped spread information about Prim being a race faker also admitted wrong and left. The others in the chat, particularly Mystic and Ronan appear to just be making jokes and stating factual informative summaries, respectively. E-muete also said "ok no" after the Dolezal comment, which is a common "no that's too far a comparison/joke/statement" substitute among their forums and chats and often means they don't actually agree with what they themselves said. Ruby also politely reminds Trio that it's impossible to tell someone's race off of their appearance alone. So what I see here is definitely problematic, but entirely on Trio's part. I'm not saying it's not screwed up to find pictures of someone's parents and debate their race, but the persons who did those things have already left the Tumblrsphere.

Unfortunately, the people you've pointed out don't have a good history with Prim even before the whole "Trio nitpicking her race" thing. Prim used to follow more than a few of them and use their posts to fuel her platform, oftentimes creating uninformed mish-mosh articles with a voice of authority that simply wasn't warranted. As I'm sure you're aware, it's hard enough dealing with people stealing your content word for word, but to attempt to steal your knowledge? Your initiations and rites of passage? And use them to sell yourself as a master of a breadth of practices? The tradcrafters of that particular circle decided to band together and block her from interacting with them directly for that very reason. And because of that, Prim started telling her followers that they are all racist and elitist and ableist and gatekeepers. These terms over the years have become almost like triggers in that once they're said, everyone seems to put on a blindfold and fall into a frenzied rage. And to be fair, Prim is far too quick, in my opinion, to bring up racism as the reason others disagree with her. Most times, I've noticed at least, that if she calls someone racist or says they're unsupportive of POC, she nearly immediately brings up BLM activism in her posts or reblogs. I'm not saying I necessarily support calling all of her activistic inclinations performative, but where the tradcradt group she calls racist is more than willing to talk of and show proof of their contribution, Prim never has and avoids it if asked. I can see both sides, really. But the fact remains that calling someone performative in their actions, does not a racist make. Neither, in my opinion, does interacting with people who are assumed (without real and concrete proof) to be racist.

I can appreciate where you're coming from; honestly, I can. People have grown accustomed to hearing the prefix trad- and preparing for the worst. Racism is a systematic and prevailing problem in the society all around us, so it makes sense to be on the lookout for it. You want to protect yourself and your community. I can understand your sentiments perfectly. But I cannot support "guilty by association" viewpoints. As a WOC who grew up in some rough areas, I have seen boys killed under that very same reasoning. Jbird is a good friend of mine, and I have never questioned his morals or ethics. I have seen no sign of my being looked down upon for the color of my skin, nor anyone else who runs in that very same circle.

What I see is what I see in a lot of faces on this hellsite: hurt. Before Trio and after Trio left, the tradcraft community has been slandered and ostracized. They have shut themselves off to outsiders for the very thing you've done to Jbird just yesterday. They hold their secrets closer than most other communities now because persecution is seemingly forever at their door. On Prim's end too, there has been struggle and pain and needless arguing and hurt. If those you approach seem prickly, it is often because the world has roughened their edges, not because they personally are against you.

I asked for a couple examples from the group and one person (I'll keep them anonymous because I didn't confirm they'd like their name here) said: she has talked about saint magic (trio), hadean pamphlet (trio), hubris (Ruby), fairies, trad craft shit (Mahigan among others), etc etc

From what I personally have seen, her most recent was the Witch Fire podcast. A few tradcraft blogs had a debate/discussion about Witch Fire and its traditional eurocentric foundations in witchcraft not that long ago, and then Prim decided to put out a podcast that was so uninformed, I'm still worried about how younger or newer witches might be hurt by it.

Unfortunately the tradcraft community is vulnerable to that kind of thing [being called names or falsely accused] and an easy target. That's why being called those kind of harsh words - like gatekeeping, elitist, racist, and ableist - are met with so much anger from them. I take it very seriously because I've seen the kind of whiplash it has, especially on such a closed off group.

[A Reply.] Yeah no, Prim "apologizes" by talking about how she's been previously given a hard time with interjections of "but please don't go around spreading hate" and never directly apologizes to the tradcrafter in such posts. Unfortunately, her "apology" did more harm than good. I was hoping she'd just ignore it but . . . This tends to happen too 🤦‍♀️

I think that if both sides were able to approach it as openmindedly as you have, there would be a lot less drama and in-fighting on this app 😩 I really did enjoy talking with you though!

That just about covers everything I'd like to say on the matter.

I do not condone spreading hate, just as I don't condone misinformation or blind allegiance to what one person says. So if you can respectfully and openmindedly address your questions/comments/concerns, I don't see why you can't interact with Briar, Jbird, or myself. I understand it's easy to get caught up in the first perspective you're given, but it is my hope that Witchblr as a whole can be more open to hearing both sides of the story. Blindly blocking and cancelling certain bloggers is something I don't support nor encourage. I understand Prim must be tired of addressing all of the drama that churns around her, so I won't speak as to what her reasoning could be for suggesting such a solution. I'm simply stating what I hope for the community as a whole.

| | Note: The statements above were written early (I think, my sense of time is off) yesterday, and as of yet, I have still seen no concrete evidence that Briar or Jbird have ever made racist comments. On Briar's part, I have seen her observation that activism on a performative platform such as Tumblr can come off as performative, but she never once said she doesn't know or see why Prim would support and promote BLM activism. Something I think was misconstrued and lumped all together to sound as if she thought Prim were faking her contributions altogether. | |

[ettawritesnstudies]

WIP influences tag

thanks @kittensartswriting and @siarven for the tag! I think the rules are just that you ramble about a few influences for your WIPs so I’m going to do this for The Laoche Chronicles as a whole, including both Storge and the main trilogy that I really need to name. 

Life stuff! 

Sometimes (a lot of the times) reality is stranger than any fiction I could come up with, and so one of my favorite things to do is take scary and relevant irl situations and then recontextualize them in a fantasy world to get a different POV (and give the characters dealing with them a happy ending). For example in Storge: what would a world look like where sexism and racism don’t really exist, but there’s serious systematic oppression based on magic and religion? How does a healthy vs unhealthy family deal with a crisis? how does a society get so polarized? For Laoche: I was sitting in Calc AP my senior year listening to my friends complain about the upcoming test when someone said “I’d kill to get into X program” and my first thought was “hmm. what if?”

This sort of stuff is the driving force behind the themes in all of my stories. No matter how fantastical it gets, it’ll always have that relatable basis in reality to ground readers in the story.

This is going to get long so there’s more under the cut...

Mythology and religion:

This should come as a surprise to absolutely no one given how many religions and variations on religions I worldbuild for this world but the way people understand the supernatural and approach concepts like faith and hope and a higher power fascinate me. Also a really weird thing that I’ve noticed reading modern literature as a devout Catholic (especially YA novels) is that it’s very commonly sterile and secular for some reason? I only realized this after going back to classics this year like Dracula and being surprised when characters write prayers into their diary entries. This shouldn’t have surprised me becasue that’s something I do, but after consuming so much modern media and then going back to it, I found myself weirdly missing how much faith was intrinsically baked into society back then, for better or for worse, because it adds a really interesting dimension to how characters view the world. 

which leads into my next point...

The Sword and Serpent Series by Taylor Marshall and pretty much anything Hannah Heath has ever written (names are links to their books)

I don’t actually like Christian fiction like 90% of the time. A lot of it is written by writers from different protestant denominations which is fine, but sometimes the theology has me going ????, or the genres are just not my thing, and regardless of the denomination it all runs the risk of being really really preachy. (sorry, Narnia, that means you too). These two writers are outliers and I want to be like them when I grow up. 

Hannah Heath is a scifi/fantasy/dystopian writer who actively goes out of her way to tell good stories that also happen to have a Christian theme so that they avoid that preacher pitfall, and her worldbuilding and prose are spectacular. She also tackles a lot of hard themes and is a huge disability advocate which is incredible! I haven’t read all of her works yet but I’m slowly working through them. Skys of Dripping Gold made me cry a few different times and it’s a novella. 

Sword and Serpent is a trilogy historical fiction retelling of the St. George and the Dragon that ALSO deals with the political climate the Roman empire in 333AD and it’s FANTASTIC. There are saint cameos everywhere and if you know their stories it’s really cool to spot them even if you don’t recognize their period-accurate names, and it does a great job of showing how much the underground church relied on each other to survive. The character arcs and dynamics are amazing, the way it blends mythos and reality is amazing, and my (unfairly underrated imo) confirmation saint, Catherine of Alexandria, is a main character in the 2nd book so what more could you want??

Rangers Apprentice by John Flanagan and The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander

moreso for Laoche than Storge but these were my favorite book series in middle school when I first came up with the story and their general genre inspired a lot of what Laoche eventually would become. Grand adventures with epic final battles, a small band of heroes trying to save a kingdom becasue they have the knowledge of how, and earning the trust and help of other people through their heroic actions. Swords and magic and bows and knifes and cool capes/cloaks and horses and castles and all that good Fantastical Medieval Aesthetic stuff I absolutely ate up as a kid. Also Alexander’s mastery of voice with the different characters and Taran’s character arc and the platonic love and banter in RA  have me dying every time every time I reread them. Good quality fun all around

The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson

Didn’t influence me in time for Storge but now I’m rehauling everything in Laoche becasue I’m ~inspired~. I can’t speak to the extent to which it’ll influence me yet but I expect it’s going to be a LOT. Thanks Jana XD 

Honorable Mentions:

J.R.R. Tolkien because what list of influences for a Catholic high fantasy author would be complete without him? This explains itself I think

Avatar the Last Airbender and everything about the way it handles themes and characterization. Also self explanatory because it’s the best

So many??? people here on writeblr! I am so inspired by everyone who is brave enough to put their writing out there and I have read stuff on here that’s better than published books. It would take too long to name everyone, but just assume that if you’re reading this and you got this far in the post I mean you.

A lot of classic literature? Not a direct influence per se but the writing style is something I want to emulate. Some of my favorites are The Count of Monte Christo, Dracula, A Tale of Two Cities, Frankenstien (sans Victor’s incessant whining), The Divine Comedy, A BUNCH of scifi stuff by Jules Verne and H.G. Wells I loved in middle school and need to reread, and Little Women. 

movies and music should also probably go here but that’s a rant for a different day. I take more general vibes and aesthetics from those. 

Tagging (no pressure though!): @andiwriteunderthemoon @abalonetea @inkwell-attitude @zielenbloesem 

[ofcloudsandstars]

Celestial Forecast

Week 29 - 5

Highlights:

On Wednesday, July 1st, Saturn's retrograde re-enters Capricorn

On Sunday the 5th, The Full moon in Capricorn will be a partial Lunar Eclipse

Hey Guys, I am having a bad habit posting these late but as you can see with all the energy shifts, I am also dealing with a lot of personal shifts and though some are exciting, naturally most of my energy is directed in my every day life. I am going to keep this up best I can but at the end of the week (so close to the eclipse lol yay!) I return to work so lets see how things go.. This weeks theme really seems to be focusing on our ambitions, where we devote our energy towards and if we are using our energy wisely to strive towards our goals. This peak climax of it all will be when the Full Moon in Capricorn at the end of the week is a partial lunar eclipse. Eclipse energy is destructive and brings change so it could bring climatic change in our personal lives to whatever is blocking us from our potential and it can bring massive change globally towards governments, authorities and businesses. Jupiter rx and Pluto rx are still conjunct all this week encouraging us to expand within and connect to our inner sources of power and transformation. This energy will also amplify the themes of goals we need to strive towards especially on a grander scale with Pluto being an outer planet. Lastly I tried to chart Iris, the little asteroid that can help us connect with our inner sources of faith, hope and inspiration as working with smaller celestial bodies can help us tap into larger celestial bodies when they go retrograde but guess what? Iris is also retrograding haha. So Neptune retrograde is just hard reality on full migraine blast with no paracetamol to blunt the pain. Personally my magic has been expressing itself through very practical ways like putting energy in the food I prepare or cleansing space but when it comes to energy work or energy based spells I am not feeling too motivated lately. I feel very much focused on the physical and mundane plane, and with so much Capricorn hard energy happening this week wants us to focus on the physical plane as well and how we can shift things around to help make things happen in the future.

Note: Times are set to UTC.

____________

29th

Mercury rx conjuncts Vesta in Cancer ☾♎ Moon Opposite Chiron and Mars in Aries ☾♎ Moon Squares Jupiter rx and Pluto rx in Capricorn ☾ VOC 14:01 - 23:47 ☾♏ Moon enters Scorpio ☾♏ Moon Squares Saturn rx in Aquarius

Energy: Following the first quarter moon in Libra it feels like a lot of tension build up and strategizing. If you are unsure which path you want to take today may push you in a direction due to aggressive outside influences. If you are already sure and were strategizing before hand, these challenging encounters could bring up obstacles you need to be aware of in order to overcome them. An overarching theme today is Mercury rx conjuncting Vesta in Cancer. The energy may be subtle since Mercury is in retrograde and Vesta is an asteroid which the minor celestial energy focuses on our inner methods and motivations. This transit will bring up how we have gone about pursuing our aspirations and goals towards past goals, especially abandoned projects that may have meant a lot to us emotionally that we may feel called to return to. First the moon will square Jupiter rx and Pluto rx in Capricorn creating tension forcing us to focus on our inner expansion and source of power. This transit can cause us to reflect on our journey so far and feel compelled to make any adjustments to help our inner growth and soul connection. With the theme of Mercury rx conjunct Vesta we could be focusing this energy on how we have pursued our aspirations and goals. Especially with everything shifting so hectically this year, this area of our lives would definitely be up for review. Afterwards the moon will be opposite Chiron in Aries which could bring up a painful external event that could cause us to be aware of our own suffering or suffering of others. With the moon still within orb of the Pluto rx and Jupiter rx square this painful event or memory could push you further in your journey of inner expansion. It may not be a pleasant process but taking time for yourself to reflect and process everything could be better than hanging around other people. Especially because afterwards the moon will be opposite Mars in Aries bringing external challenges or aggressive encounters. Even if you handle the first few lunar transits alright, this one could bring agitated people who did not process them well around you. Additionally this transit could highlight challenges in your way that you may have to overcome. This could be a time of trials like a test where you need to apply lessons previously learned to overcome these presented scenarios. After a break with the void of course, the moon will enter the depths of Scorpio and square Saturn rx in Aquarius. This square can bring up tensions regarding our responsibilities and make us feel forced to focus on them. It can be a bit of a suffocating transit and with the hostility earlier it can make us feel bound by our previous decisions. However facing tasks with courage or using the binding energy to strategize on how you can better address these responsibilities could benefit you in this time. Lunar transits are not too long, they are like chapters in the day so it won't last forever.

Recommendations: Today may feel emotionally aggressive with the lunar transits and how we may apply to energy towards strategizing or reshifting our goals. It's best to take time to reflect or meditate on our strategies and plan to take action. With the oppositions can bring aggressive encounters so putting up protective shields and wards could help today. With the moon opposing Chiron then entering Scorpio, shadow work could be beneficial especially in reflecting on any past experiences that are still causing us pain and helping to heal and reflect on it. _________

30th

Sun conjuncts Mercury rx in Cancer Mercury rx in Cancer sextiles Uranus in Taurus ☾♏ Moon Opposite Eros and Psyche in Taurus ☾♏ Moon Trines Sun, Vesta and Mercury rx in Cancer and Ceres in Pisces

Energy: The theme of the day today will be focusing on the emotional sides of our mental state with the sun conjunct Mercury rx in Cancer. A lot of emotional memories or revelations could change the way we feel towards our families, our homes or what makes us feel secure. Additionally this transit will be heightened with Mercury rx sextiling Uranus in Taurus. There is a push to make changes that could help break habits, bring new perspectives or shift ideas regarding our inner emotional state and feelings towards what makes us feel secure or homely. The moon will trine the sun today and this waxing gibbous phase is a great opportunity to launch projects, take action on goals and get what you need done as the energy will be harmonious and beneficial. With the moon trining Vesta, Mercury rx and Ceres in Pisces there is additional beneficial energy with examining your inner goals and ambitions, reflecting on your mental space and nurturing yourself. It's a good day to review your feelings, make adjustments or break habits where you need to and nurture yourself in this process. The moon will also be opposite Eros and Psyche in Taurus which can bring external sources that can help fuel our inner fire. Perhaps in this window of time when the moon is opposite Eros, you could meet someone or encounter something that ignites your inner fire to take action. With the moon opposite Psyche, there is a focus on karmic lessons that can help us align with our soul. This can amplify the Mercury rx aspects that will ask us to review our emotions and work through them to see which still are beneficial with us to hold on to.

Recommendations: This seems like a gentle yet emotional day. It's a good time for self care routines to help process the emotional journey. Practical daily magic that would be great for this day would be: bath magic, kitchen magic or meditation. Additionally tarot can help with some insight if you want to do some shadow work and get another perspective on your feelings and what you need to let go. _________

1st

Saturn retrograde re-enters into Capricorn Sun in Cancer sextiles Uranus in Taurus ☾♏ Moon Opposite Uranus in Taurus ☾♏ Moon Trines  Neptune rx in Pisces ☾♏ Moon Sextiles Pluto rx and Jupiter rx in Capricorn ☾ VOC 2:20 - 2:21

Energy: July kicks off with Saturn re-entering Capricorn as it continues it's path on retrograde! This re-entry chapter is all about what we have learned previously from Saturn's transit through Capricorn, how it has impacted us karmically now and reviewing the structures and foundations of our lives (and society) especially regarding authorities, governments, businesses and careers. On a macrocosmic scale a lot of governments and systems of authorities would be under review (especially with everything going on) and how they need to be restructured in order to benefit the community more (like how Saturn in Aquarius's transit was so chaotic so far because communities in a lot of western country don't have enough support from the government). On a personal level this can be a time for you to review your responsibilities and internal structures regarding your career or what you have built for yourself so far in life. With Mars in Aries it's certainly a time to look towards things that motivate you. With Pluto rx and Jupiter rx still conjunct however it's a time to reflect on this and try to expand within and connect with yourself before moving forward. We are still in a retrograde period. Along with this energetic shift you have the mighty sun sextiling Uranus creating a push for change. This change can be positive, help break habits and make progress. The Lunar transits will also reflect these themes. First the moon will trine Neptune rx in Pisces which can bring opportunity to review our inner faith and spiritual path. This can bring new enlightening perspectives and potentials to see where we have been deceiving ourselves previously with beliefs that no longer serve us. After the moon will be opposite Uranus in Taurus which can signify external circumstances bringing change or forcing us to evolve in response to it. This window of time may make us feel a bit untethered or out of control of our situation but if you go with the flow and be open minded to change it can bring new perspectives. Lastly the moon will sextile Pluto rx and Jupiter rx in Capricorn giving us a push towards inner transformation and inner expansion. This window of time could help us to process the Moon and Uranus opposition and the changes the Sun and Uranus sextile could bring. It's also a good transit to help with the energetic shift of Saturn re-entering Capricorn. It's a great day for inner transformation, change and growth. After all this the moon will go void of course giving us a moment for a break.

Recommendations: This is a period for re-evaluation and transformation. Meditation, shadow work and divination can help. Divination may still be unclear as we are reaching another eclipse but it could be a good pointer to where you should focus your current energy. Doing beneficial energy work with Uranus and channeling the planetary energy can help you open up to change and use these shifts for beneficial upgrades instead of getting lost in the current of new tides shifting everything around. _________

2nd

☾♐ Moon enters Sagittarius ☾♐ Moon Trines Mars and Chiron in Aries ☾♐ Moon Sextiles Juno and Sappho in Libra

Energy: Today will feel optimistic and expansive as the moon enters Sagittarius. This upbeat energy can be felt as the moon will be amplified through certain aspects throughout the day that will help us to venture towards our genuine interests and authenticity and strive towards what motivates us. First the moon will trine Mars in Aries which can give us a beneficial boost for striving towards what we want. This window of time is fantastic for making the first move towards goals you want to achieve, things you'd like to claim (whether it be new job ventures, asking a desirable someone out on a date, taking risks towards anything you want). This energy will feel directed towards striving towards your genuine interests and attractions as the moon closely after will sextile Sappho in Libra helping us to focus on our true interests that speaks to our inner philosophies. Afterwards the moon will trine Chiron in Aries and sextile Juno in Libra at the same time. The trine will give us a beneficial boost in healing ourselves and others and processing any pain from our past. The sextile with Juno will give us a push to go after what reflects our values and where we should commit our devotion towards. In the past if you've ever felt rejected or unappreciated towards an area, a field (like a vocation) or in a relationship, this transit could help you heal that and revisit trying to reconnect with those areas that you should commit your energy towards.

Recommendations: With the moon in it's waxing gibbous phase and also transiting Sagittarius with these positive aspects, it's a good time to sit down and reflect on where you'd like to channel your energy towards accomplishing a goal that means something to you. Whether it be something creative, something career wise, something romantic or anything, really think about what motivates you and what you want to achieve in this time and work towards that. If you feel you do not have the right materials yet, do some attraction magic to get it your way as this lunar phase is beneficial and can draw it towards you. The energy will feel fiery and optimistic so using fire-based magic could feel in tune with attraction magic (like using an enchanted candle for example).

_________

3rd

Sun in Cancer trines Ceres in Pisces ☾♐ Moon Opposite Venus in Gemini ☾♐ Moon Squares Neptune rx in Pisces ☾ VOC 14:05 - 5:47

Energy: Today will feel a bit more at ease as the theme will be flavored by the Sun's transit trining Ceres in Pisces. When the Sun trines Ceres there is harmonious energy throughout the day that can feel caring and be beneficial when it comes to caring for others and yourself. The issue with trines though they are beneficial, they are so harmonious and easy going you can miss this chill opportunity and take the energy for granted. However the Lunar transits are a bit more disharmonious in comparison so maybe the overarching theme of the day could help smooth them over. First the moon will be squaring Neptune which can give a lot of tension revolving around our inner faith, spiritual path or witchy practice. You may have a circumstance that will call your path into question and it's purpose or authenticity. It can be an uncomfortable time if you are not feeling secure in your practice but it's a good time to reflect on any areas that are not resonating with you. Additionally the Neptune rx square can add additional pressures with escapism (if you take this time to escape or indulge in substances you might go easily under the influence) yet with the retrograde stripping away illusions it may not always feel so satisfying. After this transit the moon will be opposite Venus in Gemini which can bring attention to our relationships in our lives. This can either make us feel lonely and isolated or feel the need to reach out to the other. Additionally this window of time could bring new friendships or relationships into our lives. It's a good time for attraction magic when it comes to people. Finally there will be a void of course starting from the afternoon giving us a break to process everything.

Recommendations: This is a good time to relax and reflect on our spiritual path. Dream magic could help a lot especially since dream meanings will be very direct during this time and can help give us insight. With the venusian lunar energy it will be a good day to show someone close to you that you care by nurturing them in some way. Additionally it's a nice time for attraction magic before the void of course.

_________

4th

Sun conjuncts Vesta in Cancer ☾♑ Moon enters Capricorn ☾♑ Moon Squares Mars and Chiron in Aries and Juno and Sappho in Libra ☾♑ Moon Trines Uranus in Taurus

Energy: Today's theme will be your ambitions and your methods towards striving towards your goals with the Sun and Vesta conjunct in Cancer. This responsible energy will be met with the Moon entering Capricorn giving us a stern yet mature vibe and the ability to focus on tasks we need to complete. There will be tensions with our motivations with the moon squaring Mars in Aries. We may feel frustrated as we aren't sure how to proceed and it may create rash impulses yet it's a good time to reflect on what makes us feel blocked from progressing and strategize ways around that. With the moon squaring Sappho in Libra after there will be tension regarding our relationships to our genuine interests and if we are acting towards them. If we feel blocked from expressing our true selves it's a good time to reflect on that as well. Lastly the moon will square Chiron in Aries and trine Uranus in Taurus at the same time. This may make tension with our inner healing and bring up painful memories yet with the trine with Uranus this gives us beneficial opportunities for easy change and new perspectives. We may learn lessons from our painful past that we weren't able to see before and how to change our present in order to grow from that situation. This can tie into the overall theme with our methods of striving towards our goals and what is keeping us blocked. It's a good time to break habits and try to move forward!

Recommendations: It's a good time to reflect on your goals and what you need to change in order to reach them. It's a good time for shedding what's no longer needed. Though it's the eve of a full moon, tomorrow will be a Lunar Eclipse bringing endings and destruction therefore making it great energy to break down external barriers of what is blocking us. Reflect on what you feel is stifling you and try to make changes with the beneficial Uranus trine. Hold on to what obstacles you feel are in your way and prepare to banish them on tomorrow's Lunar eclipse. _________

5th

Full moon in Capricorn, Lunar Eclipse ☾♑ Moon Conjunct Jupiter rx and Pluto rx in Capricorn ☾♑ Moon Opposite Vesta, Mercury rx and Sun in Cancer ☾♑Moon Sextiles Ceres and Neptune rx in Pisces

Energy: Today's energy will feel POWERFUL! with the Full moon in Capricorn being a partial Lunar Eclipse, bringing endings and breaking down anything in our karmic path especially in regards to things blocking us from our potential with our careers, the government, authorities or anything we are trying to build. Additionally the moon will conjunct Jupiter rx and Pluto rx in Capricorn amplifying this energy with lessons on what we need to expand on within or what sources of power and transformation we need to access within. The moon will be opposite Vesta bringing us opportunities or insights on our goals. Additionally with it being opposite Mercury rx in Cancer it can give us new perspectives or highlight our inner emotions through external events or reveal other's feelings. The moon will also sextile Ceres in Pisces helping us with taking time to be nurturing towards ourselves and others which is needed in this time of change and breaking down old walls that need to be destroyed. Lastly with the moon sextiling Neptune rx in Pisces it's a moment where we will feel pushed to review our spiritual paths and work on our inner faith. It's a fantastic time to be creative and review our beliefs. Overall this eclipse, though destructive as all eclipses are, it feels like a storm that is coming to cleanse and renew and clear paths to allow people to reach their highest potential. It feels very positive.

Recommendations: Eclipse energy can be chaotic and destructive so it's not a good time to charge anything. However with Lunar eclipses it's a great time to do destructive magic that could benefit you such as breaking barriers and obstacles that stand in your way. With the theme of the moon in Capricorn, you can focus on whatever is in the way of your ambitions and break those down. This may be amplified while the moon is opposite Vesta. This time is also great for reflection as the moon will sextile Neptune rx in Pisces and how our beliefs can help us strive towards where we need to be. _________

[dailyaudiobible]

01/28/2021 DAB Transcript

Exodus 5:22-7:25, Matthew 18:21-19:12, Psalms 23:1-6, Proverbs 5:22-23

Today is the 28th day of January welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is an honor to be here with you today as we just lock-in, come around the Global Campfire together and let it all go and let this center us where we belong and orient us to God. So, we are reading in the book of Exodus. We’re just getting started in the book of Exodus, the second book of the Bible and we've been introduced to Moses. Moses has been tasked to be the…the representative of God, basically, God's prophet and to go before the king of Egypt the Pharaoh and demand the release of the Hebrews who have grown to become strong and numerous as a nation themselves. But God is now wanting to set them free from their slavery and so far, that's not going well. And we’ll pick up the story. We’re reading from the English Standard Version this week. Exodus chapter 5 verse 22 through 7 verse 25.

Commentary:

Okay. So, let's catch ourselves up in Exodus in the lay of the land. the Hebrew people, remember Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, who became Israel and had children, the children of Israel. And then Joseph goes to Egypt and then famine comes and those people, 70 of them, go to Egypt and are saved. Those 70 people, we are 400 years in the future now, and those 70 people have become tens of thousands and tens of thousands of people. Moses is one of those people. He was supposed to be as an infant thrown into the Nile River to die, to drown, because Pharaoh was doing away from…well…he was trying to eradicate the male population because these people were becoming…were becoming too powerful. In the end it's Pharaoh's daughter who saves Moses and he's educated, and he kills an Egyptian while defending a Hebrew and he has to go on the run where God appears to him and says, basically we’re gonna go back and set the people free and you're gonna be my mouthpiece. So, he goes back and starts making these announcements and we’re just getting going in the very famous story of the plagues upon Egypt that will one day set the people free. So far not going so well. And this is an important thing for us to look at here because God tells Moses it's not gonna go well, that He’s gonna harden Pharaoh's heart and he's going to resist until he has to be broken essentially. That doesn't seem fair, though, right? That God is going to somehow against the will of Pharaoh make his heart hard so that he has to resist God in order to be broken and he doesn't…like he has no choice in the matter. That’s not what's going on here. What would it take to harden your heart? Maybe way less than we realize. Suppose that you have a bit of authority at your job. You have maybe a whole department under you, representing hundreds of people or maybe, you know, you've a couple of people who have to answer to you. Let's suppose that a subordinate guess an appointment with you and comes before you, demanding that you do something that doesn't make any sense to you and yet they are demanding it it's. And, so, because of the situation and your flummoxed and your like, “wait a minute. Like I’m your boss, not the other way around. And are you trying to take my job?” And then all this kind of pride kind of begins to emerge. And, so, we want to push that person back and put them in their place because they've hardened our hearts. Or they come in with a threat. “If you don't do what I'm telling you to do then bad things are going to happen to you.” And they say that God is going to do this, but they happen to be of a different religion than you and so you don't really respect any of their traditions. And, so, you're like, “I don't know who this is. I don't know what you’re…I don't know what you're trying to do here. Get out of here if you want to keep your job”, right? The heart gets hardened when we are pressed to do what we don't want to do. We don't want to submit anybody's authority. This is exponentially more difficult for Pharaoh because Pharaoh thinks he is a God. And, so, what we have going on here is that the most-high God is speaking through a Hebrew man demanding that the Hebrew people be let go. And Pharaoh is like, “I don't know you're God. Who cares what your God thinks? I am a more powerful God then you're God or you wouldn't be my slaves. Get back to your job. And I'm not supplying you anymore. Get back to your job and find your own supplies.” That is the long and short of what's happening here. And the Bible tells us that pride goes before a fall. And we might…might even know how this story ends. It's a famous Bible story. So, we could say that in the and Pharaoh does find that he is humbled, whether he likes it or not, but then we have to understand that these stories also become a mirror into our soul. What would it take for us to submit in this kind of scenario? And would it be our pride…like would we resist until we were completely broken? Because pride goes before the fall and God does not appreciate pride because pride exalts us. It exalts us above all things. And God in the Bible or in history does not suffer that for long. And, so, yeah, we’re in the middle of a pretty dramatic story but let's find ourselves in this story. And one way to begin to find ourselves in the story today is to observe the hardening of the heart and begin to observe ourselves when our hearts are being hardened because most of the time we’re gonna find pride is a part of that recipe.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit we invite You into that. It is not our desire to be arrogant and prideful people. And yet we’re encouraged to be just that all the time inside of our culture. We need to be dominant; we need to be powerful. And yet this is not the path that leads to life, this is not the way of the gospel. The way of the gospel is that strength is actually found in surrender and that strength is actually found in weakness. So counterintuitive to the way that life is been presented to us. And yet this is the way we were made. So come Holy Spirit and help us to interpret our own hearts by observing when they are becoming hard. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning DAB family this is Flourishing in the Desert and it's Sunday January 24th 2021. I just want to say thank you to all of you. Last year 2020 was a really hard year for me not because of Covid but because of oh the push from God to finally leave an abusive relationship. It was such a struggle. All of last year was such a struggle. And then a dear friend of mine, All the Treasures from Wyoming told me about DAB and I started to listen and I just want you guys to know that your faithful prayers for others for everyone in this community just encouraged me on so many levels and I am forever thankful for your love for the body of Christ, your willingness to put your issues out there, to seek prayer, and also your willingness to pray for others in need. God has blessed me abundantly through you and He continues to carry me through and to bring joy to my day. And I just want to let you guys know that, yeah, you're the best and I just so appreciate you. You touch the lives of others in so many ways, in ways you just don't understand. So, I tip my hat to each one of you and I thank you. Be encouraged today and to know that your blessing others even as you pray for those who are in need. God's blessings on you all. This is Flourishing in the Desert in Cheyenne WY.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family I'm a first-time caller I’ve been listening for about two years and I'm going on my third year and I've become a double DABber listening to the Chronological Bible as well. Thank you, Jill. I live in Texas and I'm calling myself Joyful Paradise in Texas. I chose that name not because my life has been easy, but because through everything I've been through the Lord has been the joy of my life and the one who's carried me through everything and sustained me. I met the Lord at a camp revival as a child and I've walked with Him and I've I've…I've…I've grown in the Lord over the years and this year I turned 70. So, it’s…I've had my share of ups and downs. A good friend of mine downloaded the app on the on…on the…of the Daily Audio Bible onto my phone and said, listen. So, I did, and it has been a blessing to me. It really has been a blessing and I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful to get to know each one of you, to hear your voices, to hear your prayer requests and my heart has been deeply touched many times by many of your requests and I…and I hope to hear more from each one of you. You…and we'll just keep praying for one another. Thank you for this podcast Brian and God bless.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family this is His Dearly Beloved in Minnesota. I've called in a couple of times recently asking for prayer for a pain I've been experiencing. I'm scheduled for a total hysterectomy on February 2nd so I very much would still love your prayers for that. But I'm calling today to encourage each one of you. Today is February 24th, it's a Sunday…January 24th, sorry. It's a Sunday and Brian has been talking about our hearts and how we need to guard our hearts because life springs forth from our hearts. And I'm nearing 60 years old right now. So, I have definitely had my fair share of pieces of my heart strewn along the way and have needed mending. And I'm here to tell you that God absolutely does mend our hearts. My…probably my biggest heartbreak was ten years ago when my husband of 25 years who had been my high school sweetheart. We dated 8 years before we were married at…I was about 21 at the time and he finally released me from our marriage because he had…was feeling that he missed out on a life of dating. And…and as you can imagine that was…that was pretty rough for me. But I'm here to tell you 10 years later God has completely…completely healed and mended my heart. And I wanted to share my intention for the year, which is to give my first…give my wholehearted best first and foremost to God loving and trusting the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, shining that love, joy, peace, hope, and light into the world each day. I love you take care.

Hello this is Rachel from Oregon just want to call in for the lady who asked for prayer whose husband of 46 years just left her. This prayer was posted on January 20th. Today I am praying for you on January 24th. And you just got out of the hospital recently from Covid and you have no one to help you at home. And I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you right now the things that are happening in your life and in your situation and feeling so alone. And I am so so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I really really wish that I could come help you. In a heartbeat I would. I would be over to help you at home, but I don't know where you live and chances are it's not nearby me. But Lord I come before You today to ask You to intervene in this lady's life. You know all her needs. You know the pain in her heart and the cry of her heart Lord. Will You please bring her the peace that passes all understanding and help her through this hard time that her husband has left her. And please convict him to repent of leaving her and this divorce and also please bring her in abundance of people in her life to love on her and to help her in any way that she needs. We are meant to serve each other as a body in Christ Lord and I ask that You will just show her Your love through other people and help her to find her hope in You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family members this is Abby calling from Maryland. I trust you are all doing well. My goal for this year is to call more often. So, here I am. And I have been so blessed listening to people calling in, you know, especially those who are joining us on board this year 2021. I've heard this lady who is so excited, you know, I believe she's blind and she's just been having a wonderful experience with this community. Welcome to every new member and for…I specifically want to pray for a young man or a man who had called I believe his name was Tilly from Florida who is currently in the hospital. He's scared and, you know, he has chest pains and he said that he's broken hearted because he had to make a confession to his wife. I lift you into the hands of the almighty God and I pray that God heals you. I pray that God wraps His love around you and God shows you how much He loves you and God just restores you, restores your health in Jesus’ name. I pray for each and every member who has called for one thing of the other. God meets each and every one of you at the point of your need. And yes, I am so excited to hear when China does deliver her child. I am looking forward to that. Thank you, Brian for always being awesome. Thank you, Jill for always being awesome. Thank you, this amazing community. You guys are…you are my community. I just look forward to getting into the word of God with you guys every day. You all have a blessed week. This is Abby from Maryland. Stay blessed.

Good morning everyone this is Mary from the United States. As Brian talks about endurance, I just want to join with him and encourage you. Endurance sounds like a strong word of suffrage and drudgery, yet there's freedom in endurance. There's joy in endurance. There's confidence and grace in endurance. Their strength in endurance. There's wisdom in endurance. There's a vision and a sense of purpose in endurance. Endure in love, endure in joy, endure in the morning, endure in the evening, endure in the Lord to the very end. Endurance brings with it joy, peace, rhythm, meaning. Endurance is a gift we can choose or deny. Open the gift and discover its treasures in the box of endurance. Breathe in, breathe out the blessed joy that we can endure in love. Put on foot…put one foot in front of the other, breathe in breath out. The riches gain in endurance. The interest compile in endurance. A rich abundant life as we endure in love.