#whine whine vent vent

[seeminglydark]

sad boy hours, activate!

[adustoflove]

Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.

[naartjie-hijabi]

Can I just say something really quick?

Ever since that damned "Our Flag Means Death" was cancelled, mind you was this show even popular outside of the US because I legitimately have never even heard of it before, a lot of you so called "allies" have been showing your true colours.

The fact that you can raise $20k, create and sign petitions, even go as far as organising a billboard for a freaking show that has KNOWN zionists in its crew, but you couldn't spend even a portion of that energy for people who are actively facing a genocide says a lot about who you are as a person. The fact that you have the nerve to go into Palestinian spaces and try to justify your actions when they call you out, really where do any of you get the audacity?

These people are grieving. They have family and friends dying and fighting for their right to even exist and you have the damn nerve to go to their inboxes and whine about a fucking gay pirate show. If you felt offended by victims calling you out for your bullshit and made statements about reconsidering your stance on the on-going genocide, then guess what? You're not as great a person as you think you are.

Standing in solidarity with Palestine isn't some sort of trend or community project that you can just opt out of. Standing in solidarity with Palestine isn't something you can brag about or hold over the heads of actual Palestinians as if having basic human decency is something to be proud of.

If your allyship is that fragile, you're not actually an ally, you don't actually care about Palestine, all you are is an opportunist looking for some way to show off your white-savior complex.

Your opinions, believe it or not, does not matter more than the opinions of the victims of a 76-year occupation. If they tell you they're uncomfortable, you LISTEN. If they call you out for your bullshit, you LISTEN. No Palestinian owes you any explanation for their pain, so can you please stop looking for validation by leaving your shitty explanations in the inboxes of Palestinians? It's really not that hard to not be an ass.

The world has bigger problems than your pirate show, so get your head out of your ass and actually do something constructive.

[burninglove]

i miss you so much. it hurts to be without you. i love you and im still so fucking soft for you. i’d still die for you. i’d still live for you. i’d still bleed for you. i’d still kill for you. i want you so badly. i need you. i miss you so much.

[snarlingteeth]

I feel like a dog that keeps being returned to the shelter

How long until it’s not humane to keep letting this happen?

[nuppu-nuppu]

Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again

[fuckyeah-bears]

whhhhyyyyyyyyy is everything sooooo motherfucking expensive????? don’t they know I can’t afford all this shit???

[greghatecrimes]

well today I learned that "the normal amount of pain is zero" also means "the normal amount of discomfort is zero", and that it is not healthy or normal to constantly be in varying levels of discomfort, and oh my god it feels like someone just flipped my entire world upside down and shook everything around like a snowglobe and I think I need to actually go cry in the bathroom before my brain explodes

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.

[padfootastic]

if u ‘don’t really read wips’ then do fucking better.

[burninglove]

so what if i can’t forget you? i’ll burn your name into my throat, i’ll be the fire that’ll catch you.

[naffeclipse]

Vent/Reflection

It's been about 6 months since my mom got attacked by that dog. She has horrible scars up and down her arm. I see them all the time now that she's wearing short sleeves in the hot weather. A part of her arm near her bicep is permanently concaved due to the amount of flesh lost in the attack. The scars are gnarly and pink and will never go away. She still struggles to lift objects that are over ten pounds with that hand. The damage has deadened the feeling in her skin below her elbow.

I have felt so much anxiety over that event. Most of the fear is due to something else happening to my mom. I don't look at dogs in the same way. I get scared when I come home and I don't know where my mom is, and now she has to call me whenever she leaves the house so I'm not left wondering. I get anxious when my mom is somewhere else for a long time. I have intrusive thoughts of her being hurt or in danger when I can't see her.

I'm still so angry about what happened to my mom.

[bpdstevenuniverse]

Is it weird to feel like I haven't grown up because nobody gave me the emotional attention I needed, and yet I also feel like the only mature idiot in this household because my parents and my brother, who are all older than me, are extremely selfish and they straight up refuse to take up responsibility for their actions?

[blinkpen]

if you see a homeless person a block ahead, and try to duck any possible interaction or eye contact by getting a headstart opening up your phone and then pretending to be so casually engrossed in it by the time you've gotten closer that you just conveniently did not notice the homeless person, (they'll see you're not uncaring, you just didn't notice! you would have acknowledged their existence if you knew they were there, but you didn't, see! phone! plausible deniability baybeee!!!, phew)...

i... hope you are aware, that every single homeless person ever at this point sees right the fuck through that? literally everyone who ignores homeless people uses that trick.

the self-soothing balm for you to feel less guilt, bc you totally avoided making the homeless person feel intentionally ignored? it is a fucking illusion that only exists for you. you didn't avoid that. at all. sorry. you haven't been fooling any of them. not a single damn one. you are no better than anyone else who ignored them that day, which was probably everyone.

pulling the exact same little strategy.

if this sounds like you, well, you're not nearly as slick as you think you are and you need to get the fuck over yourself. yes this applies if you have self esteem issues or social anxiety or whatever, you feeling bad you can't do more to help is not an excuse to go "might as well do what's easy by doing absolutely fucking nothing at all then, or even Actively Choose to do something that only makes it Worse, bc that's even easier"

if this sounds like you, well just go sit in the corner and think

and the next time you see a homeless person

fucking look at them. fucking wave. fucking smile in a way that conveys you acknowledge you are a human looking at another human, even if you cannot help them, they are seen.

fucking say hello. just a single fucking word. you might have been the first person in weeks to have done so.

[greghatecrimes]

going to bed recently sucks cause the pattern of my days for the past five straight days (and even before that, just not in a continuous streak) has been:

wake up until about noon: feel like Absolute Shit. Corpse mode

noon or 1pm to 4pm: decent but not great. tired from feeling like Absolute Shit but feeling less Corpse-y.

about 4:30 pm until i go to bed: still tired (always tired) but wow my body feels so much better than this morning!!!

and then making myself go to bed when i know im gonna wake up and feel like shit for hours? really sucks 😭

[fandomsoda]

the night is quiet, my friends are silent. yet I still watch as they continue with their day. they’re not gone as I once feared, but to them I have disappeared. and it’s strange to me how few of them notice that I’ve faded away…