#white spider spy classroom

[your-fave-jewish-magical-girl]

I promised that I would become a Spy Classroom blog so here I am! And I will be ranking every single villain in Spy Classroom from worst to best.

Keep in mind that unlike a lot of series, I don’t actually hate any of these characters. Even though some of them aren’t very deep, I think they all fulfill their purposes.

Spoiler warning for Light novel season 1 (Volumes 1-4) and Anime season 1-2 (first 24 episodes) under text

David

Yeah, so this one goes without saying. I’m betting most of you don’t remember him. (I’m probably one of like 5 people who remember his name, Takemachi included.) but just for a refresher, he was the antagonist in Grete’s short story in SSC 1 : Bridal Royale and the finale of season 1. He is the president of Mannheim inc. and started a harassment campaign against a local meat pie owner to gain his recipe without paying. He attempted to take advantage of Lily (under the alias Lillian) under the assumption she was desperate and poor and turn her into his “lover”, which is really gross. He is just a violent, borderline pedophiliac scumbag and I hope he never shows up again. Overall there is not much to talk about since he’s just a guy who adds tension to the plot and exists so Grete and Lily can defeat him in the end.

Frisé

Ok, in his defense, having Orphan Gang Leader in your resume is really funny. You also may have forgotten him, but like with David from before, Frisé is a character from Bridal Royale/episode 6. He was in charge of a gang of child orphans which he picked up from the street and forced to commit crimes for him in exchange for food and shelter. If they (the orphan children) didn’t meet their quota, he would respond by physically abusing them under the guise of his expression of “love.”

Really fucked up guy, arguably worse than David from before, but unlike David, his fight with Klaus and Sybilla was cool and his philosophy of being someone taking in these kids with nowhere to go and giving them a home and food on the table while the government of Din all but abandoned them is pretty interesting, and goes back to Sybilla’s past in a natural way. (Also in the light novel, he is referred to as a golem looking guy before he is given a name which is funny.)

Eve

Yeah, so am I the only person who did not imagine Ever would end up looking like that? Thought she would look younger and a bit more disheveled.

Anyways, bad villains end here folks, While Eve doesn’t actually get to do much (especially since the anime cut out all the cool shit she did). She makes every moment count with her light novel screen time. Her wire ability is really cool and I hadn’t seen anything similar at the time of reading it. Her philosophy of extreme brains over brawn, while it doesn’t go anywhere (since she gets offed by Klaus like 3 pages later) adds context for the world of spy classroom. She treats soldiers as beneath her because she is a young adult in a world where that kind of combat is growing more and more obsolete.

Where Eve really shines is in Bridal Royale with her fight with Monika. She is the best out of all three of the antagonists in that volume. The way she used her wires to surround the living room and how Monika had to use her calculation skills to get out was awesome. Props to Takemachi for giving her a cameo in that volume because she was someone I wanted to learn more about (even though I forgot about her until I reread volume 1.)

Rip Eve, Takemachi cannot stand to see a girlboss win.

Matilda

So rip any anime-onlys I guess (though you should have heeded the warning.)

Yeah, I’d you’re wondering why Matilda is so low, she is kind of my least favorite main villain in season one of the light novels. She is the antagonist of Volume 3 of the light novel and will show up in season 2 as an antagonist for the former half of the series. With Guido and Olivia, the other twist villains, you don’t really see it coming. With Guido, because you are under the assumption that he is dead and that Klaus’s arc will consist of moving past his abuse. And with Olivia, she had previously been a mob with not much presence. You really had to not be paying attention or understand the formula to not think she’s gonna do evil shit.

Even so, she’s the “bad” kind of bad villain. Yeah you don’t sympathize with her because she’s a piece of shit who abused Annette, made her blind in one eye and literally gave her amnesia. But she doesn’t have any guiding philosophies that make her worldview understandable like most of the villains and she doesn’t get any cool fight scenes either. You’re really just wondering when they’re gonna reveal that she’s a baddie.

Her role as a character, despite how predictable she is is still good in terms of her role in the story. The actual conflict she creates between Lamplight (specially Monika and Thea) has created one of the best fights in the series revealing a lot of character between them that has stuck with both of them ever since. I love seeing Monika and Thea as rivals and Volume 3 convinced me of that. The impact she leaves with Thea as the end actually lasts too, creating legitimate questions Thea had to ask herself moving into volume 4. She is like the anti-Hearth in that way. The fact she actually unnerves White Spider speaks volumes about how deranged she is. The scene where she holds up her blue toolbox with White Spider in the room saying that she used that toolbox to beat Annette’s memories out of her gave me straight chills. Like holy shit, this woman should not have been anywhere near a child.

Her impact on Annette though…Christ. Rereading scenes with her and Annette in volume 3 with context make everything so much worse. She’s the only villain so far that Lamplight has outright killed. (Lamplight being Annette). I can’t say she didn’t deserve it.

And maybe that is the point of her, Takemachi didn’t her her reasons for acting like a live of shot or an ideology that justified it simply because. She is an awful person who did awful things to Annette because she’s a coward. Even so, that does not make it any less awful to read about her.

Corpse/Roland

Ok, before you scream and cry at me for putting Roland so low, let me explain: I think Roland is a good character, I don’t think he’s a good villain. This is because his actual character development happens in Volume 4 where he has been defeated is not acting like a villain

Roland’s role in Volume 2 was basically to be a decoy to distract you from Olivia, hyping you up for a showdown between him and Klaus when he couldn’t actually measure up, that was it, it was funny, but “Corpse the evil imperial assassin” ended there.

Now Roland has a different role in Volume 4. He is withholding information from the Foreign Intelligence Office and when he is giving information, he is warning Lamplight of Purple Ant. In the latter half of Volume 4, we learn a lot about him, how Purple Ant stole his life away and turned him into an assassin, abandoning everything, how he eventually got bored of being an assassin and wanted something new and exciting (a callback to when he became Olivia’s boyfriend.) Thea helped him defy his Master and fight for his freedom. While he did die, he died on his feet as opposed to living the rest of his life on his knees. And that’s pretty damn honorable.

But yeah, we see an ok fight between him and monika and him betraying Thea in Volume 4 was cool which does put him above Matilda. But his great aspect’s don’t really come from him being a good villain specifically.

Guido

Oh hey, on the subject of pieces of shit, we have Guido! Yeah, you can argue that we know less about Guido than Matilda, and I’ve heard people argue that he is the worst villain. I doubt that, as of now, the information we know about him is scarce. We know he was a member of inferno and was basically like Klaus’s Dad, he treated him harshly and insulted him. For some reason, he left Inferno to join serpent and let the rest of his team minus Hearth and Klaus get killed on the Abyss Doll mission. We don’t know why he acted that way to Klaus, and we don’t know why he defected.

One reason I am putting Guido above Matilda is that he actually gets one of the most badass fights in the series. Takemachi did NOT pull his punches with Guido. The actually build up to Guido was great and well foreshadowed. The flashbacks with Klaus and him could easily have been interpreted as an arc for Klaus to overcome Guido’s death and accept Lamplight as his new family, and we got that…just not in the way we were expecting. Guido is my favorite kind of twist, a twist that is completely inevitable in the context of the story and makes you goes “How did I not see that coming?” Even though all the evidence was right there. His fight with Lamplight is on par with later fights in the series like Purple Ant or the one in Volume 5.

Second reason, I don’t think we’re finished with Guido just yet. We know next to nothing about Serpent (and I doubt It’s the standard run of the mill imperialist type stuff the empire does either.) and discovering serpent is going to give us clues to Guido and why he did what he did.

So yeah, while we don’t get much of him, we will soon. His role as an antagonist is extremely well fulfilled given his lack of time and his impact on Klaus sticks with the rest of the series, overall, great villain.

White Spider

No image yet! Anyways, White Spider is great. He isn’t the most memorable, but he breaks the formula for a Spy Classroom villain. White Spider is a serpent member, and so far the only villain Lamplight has not defeated. He stands out from the rest by being a guy who is pretty reasonable-ish. He doesn’t make messes when he fights and he knows his own limits. Also in the fight with Klaus in Volume 3 he was really funny. He has a concept of morality (thinking Purple Ant and Matilda are monsters) and really is just here to get the job done. From what we’ve seen with him so far, his mushroom appearance is great full exaggerated (which is sad, rip mushroom boy) but he makes for a good straight man when communicating with the rest of the villains. Not that much to talk about, but I do hope to see him more!

Olivia

Talk about a controversial pick. Yeah Olivia is a really underrated villain and I am fully planning on writing and analysis on her and how she acts as a foil to Grete one one these days. (The anime completely nerfed her design from the manga lmaoooo)

Anyways, I really love Olivia. She is a bitch, she is selfish, she is insecure, superficial and jaded and I love her. The buildup to Olivia was fantastic, you wouldn’t be blamed if you thought she was just going to be some random mob while the girls hunter for Corpse. But like with most spy classroom twists, the villain was right in front of us.

It was less predictable than last time, but the way Olivia was revealed to be a villain in the light novel was no short of awesome. She is so awful and I love her to bits. Her relationship with Corpse makes for a wonderful contrast to Grete, their dynamic is inspired and brings out the best and worse in both of their characters. Her time in the underground brothel thinking that was all she would ever add up to before meeting Corpse really stuck with me, and knowing what we know now about how Corpse actually thought about her, she wasn’t really deceived. Olivia was an opportunist. She saw Corpse as a way out and she took it, same with Roland. You hate her for making the choices she did but you can never fully blame her. It’s could she have even escaped her soul sucking existence if she hadn’t taken his hand.

I really want to write about Olivia in the near future because she is my favorite villain to think and write about, and she does not get the appreciation from the fandom she deserves

Also, I hate how they cut out the final scene with her and Grete disguised and Uwe. It was the perfect ending for her character before getting captured by the republic.

Purple Ant

Yeah, this should surprise nobody. But hey, guess who has an official design now. (Pleasedontfuckuphisdesignintheanime)

Purple Ant is the best villain in Season 1 by a long shot. He is cunning, sadistic, manipulative, charming and so much more. He is the king of Mitario, the greatest villain Lamplight has faced so far. With the manpower of 400 Ants worldwide. He challenges all of Lmaplihht at their own games. All without lifting a finger. He holds an iron clutch on the lives of hundreds of people he believes are lower than him. Miranda, Barron, The bartender, Corpse, the accounts of their torture burned into the brain of anyone who read volume 4.

Purple Ant breaks people, targets in no way excluding, pushing even Klaus to the absolute brink in a way we have not seen in this entire series. Being an Ant is a fate worse than death, your body and mind in control of someone else, being forced to murder, torture, capture, your family members held hostage and being punished if you do not do everything to a T—or just because he feels like it. When you become an Ant, you are stripped of you. You lose what makes you an individual and turn into another one of Purple Ants pawns.

That isn’t even breaking into the neat of him, his relationship with Hearth, Thea, Klaus, Corpse, holy crisp do I need to do a mega post on him. I feel like his ideology towards Mouzaians (the people he turned into Ants exclusively because he believed they were entitled and privileged after Galgad lost the Great War to them) has clues on serpents actual ideology. He offers a piece the puzzle that has been brewing throughout the entire series.

Props to Takemachi for keeping him alive…so far, I hope he gets in one or two extra moments before Takemachi offs him for good. I can’t imagine this bastard ever getting redeemed lmaoooo

[ultimate-anime-tournament]

THE ULTIMATE ANIME TOURNAMENT BEGINS! featuring 384 shows spanning 60 years!

all matchups are listed below the cut, and the first polls will be going up shortly 👍

edit: made a google spreadsheet documenting all matchups and their wins/losses!

left side:

Majokko Megu-chan VS Soul Eater VS Turn A Gundam

Noragami VS Ranma 1/2 VS Shadows House

Captain Tsubasa VS Barakamon VS Ojamajo Doremi

Dr Ramune: Mysterious Disease Specialist VS Joshiraku VS Concrete Revolutio

Maya the Honey Bee VS Bocchi the Rock! VS Senyuu.

Angel Beats VS Golden Kamuy VS Initial D

Lucky Star VS Mononoke VS Assassination Classroom

Go! Princess Pretty Cure VS Shirobako VS Space Pirate Captain Harlock

Golden Time VS Death Note VS Ao Haru Ride

Food Wars VS One Piece VS Space Battleship Yamato

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K VS Blood Blockade Battlefront VS Poco's Udon World

Space Patrol Luluco VS Yu-Gi-Oh! VS Your Lie in April

Slam Dunk VS One Punch Man VS Candy Candy

Doraemon VS Akame ga Kill VS Black Clover

Space Dandy VS Sazae-san VS Bloom into You

Show by Rock!! VS Pokémon VS Restaurant to Another World

Uchouten Kazoku VS Tetsujin 28 VS Miracle Girl Limit-chan

Sally the Witch VS March Comes in Like a Lion VS Ground Defense Force! Mao-chan

Day Break Illusion VS Heidi, Girl of the Alps VS Zombie Land Saga

Yuri is My Job! VS Kimagure Orange Road VS The Seven Deadly Sins

Akudama Drive VS Future Boy Conan VS Land of the Lustrous

BanG Dream! VS Rin-ne VS Serial Experiments Lain

Snow White with the Red Hair VS Juni Taisen: Zodiac War VS The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Ranking of Kings VS Osomatsu-san VS Odd Taxi

Flying Witch VS Bodacious Space Pirates VS Shugo Chara

Yuki Yuna is a Hero VS Super Dimension Fortress Macros VS Spy x Family

Magic Kaito 1412 VS Kaguya-sama: Love is War VS Kingdom

Aikatsu VS Cells at Work VS New Game!

Blue Exorcist VS Sound! Euphonium VS Ashita no Joe

Re:Zero VS My Hero Academia VS Pani Poni Dash

Ouran High School Host Club VS Dragon Quest: The Adventure of Dai VS Children of the Whales

86 vs Erased vs Demon Slayer

Mashle vs Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt vs Bakemonogatari

Skip and Loafer vs Shiki vs My-Hime

Laughing under the Clouds VS Naruto VS Sakura Wars

The Vampire Dies in No Time VS Dragon Ball GT VS Fist of the North Star

Shadowverse VS Blue Lock VS Tamako Market

Legend of the Galactic Heroes VS Lycoris Recoil VS Tanaka-kun is Always Listless

Agatha Christie's Great Detectives Poirot and Marple VS Sonic X VS Samurai Champloo

Cutie Honey VS Tokyo Revengers VS Parasyte

Kaiji VS Deca-Dence VS Clannad

I'm the Villainess, So I'm Taming the Final Boss VS Digimon Adventure VS Charlotte

Kageki Shojo!! VS Majuu Senshi Luna Varga VS Stars Align

Love, Chunibyo, and Other Delusions VS Gintama VS Kakuriyo: Bed & Breakfast for Spirits

Bubblegum Crisis VS Air VS Made in Abyss

Touch VS Fire Force VS Love Live! Sunshine!!

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer VS Sket Dance VS Himitsu no Akko-chan

Zatch Bell VS Little Witch Academia VS Gal & Dino

Parappa the Rapper VS Life with an Ordinary Guy Who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout (Fabiniku) VS Talentless Nana

Nyanbo! VS Bomberman Jetters VS Do It Yourself!

Kochikame: Tokyo Beat Cops VS Nobody's Boy Remi VS Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury

Chika Ichiban VS Squid Girl VS Anne of Green Gables

Ikkyuu-san VS The Case Study of Vanitas VS Free!

Birdie Wing: Golf Girls' Story VS Chihayafuru VS So I'm a Spider, So What?

Aggretsuko VS Hakumei and Mikochi VS Mou Ippon

What's Michael VS Kimono Jihen VS Kiratto Prichan

Mushishi VS Uma Musume VS Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Sabikui Bisco VS Dorohedoro VS The World Ends With You: The Animation

Un-Go VS The Case Files of Jeweler Richard VS Tropical-Rouge! Pretty Cure

Sonny Boy VS Tiger & Bunny VS Black Butler

A Place Further than the Universe VS Lupin III (all Parts) VS Tsuritama

Tari Tari VS Maoyu VS Buddy Daddies

Horimiya VS Akiba Maid War VS Cap Revolution Bottleman

Helck VS Play it Cool, Guys VS Revolutionary Girl Utena

right side:

Gegege no Kitarou VS Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood VS Urahara

D.Gray-Man VS Bakuman VS Devilman

Violet Evergarden VS Death Parade VS Speed Racer

Skull Face Bookseller Honda-san VS Mazinger Z VS Planetes

Aim for the Ace! VS Futari wa Pretty Cure VS Saiunkoku Monogatari

Comic Girls VS Galaxy Express 999 VS Dr. Slump

Wedding Peach VS Ronja, the Robber's Daughter VS Haikyuu!

Saint Seiya VS Mahoutsukai Chappy VS Yuri on Ice

Hikaru no Go VS Yona of the Dawn VS Mega Man NT Warrior

Black Lagoon VS Nichijou VS Space Cobra

Ms. Koizumi Loves Ramen Noodles VS Stop! Hibari-kun VS She and Her Cat: Everything Flows

Space Brothers VS Gakuen Alice VS Dragon Ball Z

AKB0048 VS Kino's Journey -The Beautiful World- VS Musashi no Ken

Flip Flappers VS Hamtaro VS Daily Lives of High School Boys

Another VS Descending Stories: Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju VS Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon

Gurren Lagann VS Hana no Ko Lunlun VS City Hunter

Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water VS Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun VS To Your Eternity

Kiteretsu Daihyakka VS Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun VS Noir

Bungo Stray Dogs VS Soreike! Anpanman VS Moomin

Hajime no Ippo VS Paranoia Agent VS Mobile Suit Gundam

Maison Ikkoku VS Yuru Camp VS Sherlock Hound

Great Pretender VS Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress VS World Trigger

Little Princess Sara VS Ghost Sweeper Mikami VS Keep Your Hands off Eizouken!

My Next Life as a Villainess VS Kirby: Right Back at Ya! VS Air Gear

Saint Tail VS Haibane Renmei VS Astro Boy

Crayon Shin-chan VS Tokyo Ghoul VS Hell Girl

Heaven's Design Team VS Neon Genesis Evangelion VS Kiznaiver

Servamp VS Akane-chan VS Yo-kai Watch

The Vision of Escaflowne VS Tsurune VS Sk8 the Infinity

The Promised Neverland VS Hime-chan no Ribbon VS Fruits Basket

Urusei Yatsura VS Dr. Stone VS Shaman King

Star of the Giants VS Cardcaptor Sakura VS Angelic Layer

Berserk VS Kodocha VS Ping Pong The Animation

Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's VS Boys over Flowers VS Otherside Picnic

Monster VS Sgt. Frog VS K-On!

Aria VS The Rose of Versailles VS Beyblade

Natsume's Book of Friends VS Planet With VS Detective Conan / Case Closed

Nodame Kantaabire VS Kyou Kara Maoh VS Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans

Duel Masters VS Shounen Ninja Kaze no Fujimaru VS Hunter x Hunter

Mahou Shoujo Lalabel VS Carole & Tuesday VS Powerpuff Girls Z

Big Windup! VS Heartcatch Pretty Cure! VS Fighting Foodons

Gosick VS Ace Attorney VS Inazuma Eleven

Given VS The Prince of Tennis VS Cowboy Bebop

Code Geass VS Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VS FLCL

Wolf's Rain VS Reborn! VS Princess Tutu

Magic Knight Rayearth VS Romeo x Juliet VS Oshi no Ko

Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo VS Bakugan VS Jujutsu Kaisen

Yu Yu Hakusho VS Love Live! School Idol Project VS Trigun

Kimba the White Lion VS Waccha Primagi VS Toradora

Ultra Maniac VS Mahou Sensei Negima VS Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight

Visual Prison VS Steins;gate VS Inuyasha

Vinland Saga VS Assault Lily Bouquet VS Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day

Pop Team Epic VS Gingitsune VS Tokyo Mew Mew

Blue Period VS Higurashi When They Cry VS Fairy Tail

Chargeman Ken VS Shin Sekai Yori VS Chainsaw Man

Beyond the Boundary VS Silver Spoon VS Hyouka

Stitch! VS Mobile Suit Gundam SEED VS Symphogear

Kuroko's Basketball VS Pokemon Horizons VS Gatchaman Crowds

Ghost Stories VS Non Non Biyori VS Samurai Flamenco

Fushigi Yuugi VS Psycho-Pass VS Azumanga Daioh

Bleach VS Dragon Ball Super VS Ace of Diamond

My Neighbor Seki VS Mob Psycho 100 VS No. 6

Full Metal Panic VS Princess Principal VS Ya Boy Kongming!

Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei VS Puella Magi Madoka Magica VS Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song

[meshaamem-li]

content I CONSUMED

idk this is just a list of shit I watched or played and stuff, ignore this I just like making lists.

rankings (my rankings are subjective and based on how much impact that thing had on my psyche, don't take it too seriously):

S A B C D F

(explanation about the rankings: B is good, C is fine, D is meh and F is bad, A is for "wow I really like this" and S is for "absolutely obsessed")

ANIME:

a silent voice

aggretsuko

assassination classroom

attack on titan

BNA: brand new animal

carole and teusday

darling in the franxx

death note

death parade

dungeon meshi

evangelion

full metal alchemist

full metal alchemist brotherhood

free

haikyuu

high-rise invasion

hunter x hunter

jujutsu kaisen

Komi can't communicate

kotaro lives alone

kuroko no basuke

Magical Girl Raising Project

my hero academia

noragami

ouran highschool host club

scott pilgrim takes off

soul eater

spy x family

stars align

summertime rendering

the disastrous life of saiki k

BOOKS:

percy jackson

CARTOONS:

avatar

back in the barnyard

bee and puppycat

big hero 6 the series

bojack horseman

carmen sandiego

danny phantom

ducktales 2017

fairly OddParents

glitch techs

gravity falls

hazbin hotel

helluva boss

hilda

how to train your dragon (the tv series)

infinity train

inside job

kim possible

kipo

miraculous ladybug

murder robots

my little pony

Phineas and Ferb

rick and morty

rise of the tmnt

scooby doo mystery incorporated

She-Ra

steven universe

tangled the series

teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012

the amazing digital circus

the legend of korra

the owl house

the penguins of Madagascar

velma

wander over yonder

GAMES:

ace attorney

deltarune

genshin impact

hollow knight

mystic messenger

omori

project sekai

undertale

underworld office (small mobile game)

LIVE ACTION SHOWS:

BBC sherlock

merlin

the good place

queen's gambit

הפיג'מות

MOVIES:

101 dalmatians

a goofy movie

aladin

arrietty

atlantis

bambi

beauty and the beast

bee movie

big hero 6

bolt

brave

captain underpants

cars

cinderella

coco

cruella (I'm mad at how good it was)

deadpool

encanto

everything everywhere all at once

finding nemo

frozen

hercules

Howl's moving castle

how to train your dragon

inside out

kiki's delivery service

klaus

kong fu panda

lilo & stitch

marvel movies till endgame

meet the Robinsons

megamind

moana

monsters inc

mr. peabody & sherman

mulan

my neighbor totoro

nimona

onward

peter pan

pinocchio

princess mononoke

puss in boots

puss in boots the last wish

ratatouille

rise of the guardians

road to el dorado

robots

scary movie

scott pilgrim vs the world

shrek

sleeping beauty

snow white

spider man into/across the spiderverse

spirited away

tangled

the emperor's new groove

the fox and the hound

the hunchback of notre dame

the incredibles

the lion king

the little mermaid

the mitchells vs the machines

the nightmare before Christmas

the prince of Egypt

the princess and the frog

the sword in the stone

toy story

treasure planet

up

wall-e

whisper of the heart

wreck it Ralph

zootopia

here's my watchlist, feel free to suggest me stuff!

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Welcome all to the fandom bog!! (And yes, I mean bog, not blog—this is my murky cesspool of fandom nonsense!!)

Here you will find randomness from various tv shows, cartoons, anime, movies, books, and more!

Below is a list of fandoms that can be found on this blog!

Fandoms include:

BBC Merlin (#merthur is life)

Percy Jackson (movie? what movie??) (has Zues been overthrown yet?) (no but seriously the books and tv show are fantastic!!)

That time I got reincarnated as a slime

The Cruel Prince (that series takes enemies to lovers to a whole new level 🥵)

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST (I’m watching brotherhood but from what fanfic lore I’ve gathered of 03 I think I’ll like both equally)

My hero academia

Toilet bound Hanako kun

Ouran High Host Club

Batman (and the Batfam in general—and by extension Superman and such, but mostly Batman and the robins—really, Tim Drake is my soulmate, and not like a romantic soulmate either. I’m pretty sure my soul and Tim’s soul are one and the same and that coffee runs in our veins ☕️🩸)

Maribat also deserves its own bullet point because 💗 my heart 💗

Miraculous Ladybug (see above tag)

Welcome to Demon School Iruma kun

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle

Harry Potter (but NOT cursed child because wtf?? why would anyone do Cedric dirty like that??? but also,,, for voldemort, for valor ™)

The Protector of the Small & Song of the Lioness

Murkybluematter’s Rigel Black Chronicles (I don’t care if it’s a fanfiction cross over of the last two bullets—it is Iconic ™ and the essence of all that is good in the world 😌👌)

Snow White with the Red Hair

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Into the Spider-verse (miles morales is perfection)

Spiderman (he’s my favorite marvel hero ngl)

Star Trek (spirk fills my soul with joy 😭)

Seraph of the End (mikayuu 💃💃)

Yuri on Ice!

Spy x Family

Supernatrual (I don’t watch the show but the fanfiction is amazing 💖)

Avatar the last airbender

Eragon (literally the first fandom I ever obsessed over as a child)

Fruits Basket

Hunger Games

Assassination classroom

The Rise of the Shield Hero

You will know what I’m currently hyper fixating on by the posts I make 😬

[diamondsableye]

“Can I practice my crafting skill again?”  Pale inquired from underneath the large classroom table, the interior shadowed by a mass of sheets having been draped around the rectangular surface like a veil punctuating the distinction from a temple’s inner and outer sanctums. 

“Mmm... Roll to see how much you can improve it.” Stated Grimm after a brief moment of thought, passing the multi sided die to his classmate.  The quartet had managed to sneak out one of their teachers emergency flashlights and were using it to illuminate their mishmash of character sheets, crudely constructed miniatures, and an extremely basic game map decorated with cardboard structures and held together by scotch tape and crayon scribbles.

Pale let the plastic decider of fate slip from his fingers and roll onto the game board, careful to make sure that it wouldn’t collide with his kingdom under construction.  The four souls watched with baited breath as the die spinned and swirled, ultimately landing unceremoniously with a large 5 displayed on its upturned face.

“Aw darn are you serious?  That’s my third low roll in a row!”  The upset juvenile wined, before snatching up the die in his small greedy digits to inspect a cause for his loss.  Marvelously, the die refused to reveal its secrets, and stubbornly let the child stew in his own frustrated bad luck.

“Haha!  Oh man Pale, at this rate you’ll never stop your kingdom from collapsing!  I’m gonna win the gaaammmeee~!  I’m gonna win the gaaammmeee~!”  Jeered Radiance, taking her sweet time to rub in Pale’s foul luck with her annoying sing song taunts.  The boy’s white chitin near instantly flushed scarlet from his friend’s teasings, his mood soured by the moth’s playful gloating.

“Shuddup shuddup!  Once I improve my skill enough you are so going down!”  Pale barked with a newfound competitive rage boiling inside him, more determined than ever to take down the fluffy pest.

“Nuh uh!  You’ve got no chance.  Besides, it’s your fault for taking over my village tribe anyhow.  Why couldn’t you have just beaten up Grimm’s dumb troupe?”  She inquired with a raise of her eye, the harsh judgement of her look not lost on her fair companion who solemnly shivered and shrunk back at the snarky attack.  As soon as the boy had backed off from his haughtiness, Grimm suddenly barked back up with a fever of his own, not as used to the jagged back and forth as his friend was.  With an insulted glare, he joined in on the aggravated spit, ready to stand up for his beloved world.

“Hey!  It’s not dumb!  It’s a-”

“-Dark nightmare cult and all with nightmares and stuff, we get it.  You have a bard as your right hand man.  Sooooo lameeeee”  Radiance cut off the batty bug with a quick, dismissive sway of a wing, shutting down Grimm’s meager defense before he even had the chance to mount it.  His own face flushed an even deeper crimson than his angrily beaming eyes, burning hotter than the dark fire he knew was raging inside his poor defiant soul.

“Hey don’t make fun of Brumm!  He’s my friend’s character, and he’s perfectly awesome as is.”  He stated almost matter of factly through his growl of a response, quick to stand up for the currently not present Nymm.  It was one thing if himself was being fussed at, but he would not let the moth so criminally down-trod his dear companion.

“Mm whatever you say.”  She mused out of boredom, waiting for Pale’s still prolonged turn to be finished up.  With all the wait this game seemed to love making her endure, sometimes she just needed to rile the boys up for a bit of entertainment.  They always managed to be so easily pestered it was almost too rewarding.

“I.. Still don’t understand why you need to improve your crafting stat so much... We already have our own knights, why do we need more?”  The quiet juniper suddenly peeped up from the quieting uproar as if to quell the currently dwindling stream of advancing insults and tauntings. She looked up with a puzzled look as she mindlessly toyed with a small figure of her own creation, its three prominent horns visible even in the relative obscurity of the dim table tent.

“Ah my Queen Lady, we need more guards cuz Raddy wants to take over Hallownest, but we can’t use our knights because of Rad’s Tell-a-path-y.  We can’t just make new characters cuz that takes too many resources, but since we don’t need character based perks, it’ll be more efficient if we just build guards instead!”  Pale mused in a surprisingly coherent ramble, considering how it was he whom had insisted the installation of saw blades at every corner for protection, and now required to perform a dexterity check each time he wished for his character to walk between rooms.  No wonder why his queen chose to stay in her own gardens most of the time.

“Yeah, if you can level up your crafting skill any” Radiance couldn’t help but snark, stifling giggles and failing horribly in her attempt to do so.  Suddenly, before another eye rolling round of crude insults could come to pass, a glum, audible sigh was heard from outside the drawn curtain of sheets, suddenly parting to reveal a highly sultry bemused arachnid.

“Ugh you dweebs.  It’s Tel-lep-a-thy, not Tell-a-path-y.”  The spider had practically groaned as she invaded the group’s sacred game space, leaving Grimm practically hissing at the sudden light as a touch of the normal classroom lighting managed to seep its way in.

“Herrah!  What are you doing in here?  Were you spying on us?”  Wailed Lady, a tremor of meek fright catching in her voice as the gang’s closely held secret had suddenly been unveiled to the outside world.

“You’re playing a game under a table with nothing but a thin sheet separating you guys from the rest of the class.  Like.  Everyone can hear you.”

“Oh.”

“Well what do you want then?  Can’t you leave us alone?”  Bemoaned Grimm, folding his pudgy cheeks in his hands like a heavy weight of boredom being supported by two pillars of barely sustained contempt.  It was obvious her mere presence was enough to put off any enjoyment he was previously having.

“Well I want to join you guys, and Hornet does too.” Herrah demanded, sneering dully to the agitated lad sitting front and center in the circle of friends and miscellaneous game pieces.  Their eyes were tensely locked together in a silent bitter clash, like a sputtering cooking pot ready to harshly steam and boil over at any moment.

“Why do you want to join us?  You have your other weird friends, and do we even have to consider your annoying little sis?  Seriously?  How does she know about our game anyways?”  Grimm drilled, attempting to interrogate the nosy arachnid.  With a huff, he shot back to sit upright again, his arms tucked into a condescending cross as he waited for her to answer him.

“Oh Pale’s younger brother is good friends with her, and he was telling her about how much fun he was having with you guys.  Simply put we’re bored and we want to do something fun.”  She puffed herself with a scowl, returning the impatient gesture mockingly.  She parted the curtain wider, forcing herself into the group of collected youngsters to cement her position for now at least.

“Aww man not Pure!  I told him to keep his mouth shut.”   Pale softly cursed under his breath, begrudging his sweet younger brother’s overly friendly nature for once.  At least Ghost still hadn’t learned how to talk yet, and Kin was unable to, sort of.  Herrah almost immediately caught the mutter and smirked to herself with a smug sense of satisfaction, she was moving into this group faster than she had imagined already.

“Well yes Pure.  He sounded so happy to let her play too, and so she wrote out some demands for how she wants to be included.”  Herrah relayed with an all too noticeable touch of cunning and snark, sure to implicate the younger sibling’s attachment as a tool to her advantage.  It would be such a shame if the kind lad was let down by his role model of an older brother after all.  Before Pale could give into his own sympathy however, Grimm suddenly interjected with a fiery snap, not allowing defeat to such an unfair intrusion just yet.

“Hold on we never said we were gonna include her, or you for that matter too!  We’re already packed full as is!” He snarled full of bitter energy, his small sharp fangs clicking together like a strike of lightning to punctuate his contempt.  This was his game after all, and he most certainly didn’t feel like sharing with a fake fan of the occult like Herrah.  He knew practically for a fact that she would ruin his whole carefully planned world if given a place in it.  The firm slap of denial rolled off her shoulders like a light mist of rain, and much to his surprise, her smile only widened with a sickening deviance.

“Well you better, otherwise I’m telling miss seeker.” She lulled softly, almost like she was singing a lighthearted tune, void of the very real threat her words held.  Upon hearing this, Grimm let out a soft gasp, his eyes partly draining in color as the implication hung over him like a heavy storm cloud.

“You wouldn’t dare you tattle-!”

“I will.”

With that, Grimm shuddered as if he was attempting to down a foul tasting medicine, practically writhing in his seat as he tried to make peace with the necessary deed of evil.  He groaned and writhed, his snakelike tail twisting and coiling as he threw a minor fit, all the while Herrah savored every moment of discomfort the young bug was performing so beautifully for her.  Finally, he breathed a deep, angered huff of a sigh, agreeing to allow her to join.

“.... okay finneeee but not cuz you told us to.  You can have a minor role.”  He groaned as if he was agreeing to help out with something awful like housework or giving up the TV to let his dad watch sports.  At least he knew he could count on Radiance to keep the mischievous spider at bay.  Herrah however, was not so satisfied with this answer.

“Well if I can only have a minor role then you gotta give Lurien and Monomon roles too.” She added, the ever present threat of her ratting out the group to their pleasant yet firm teacher Miss God Seeker still holding with every word she spoke.  The gang each stifled a collective shudder to various degrees of uncertainty, eyeing one another as Grimm continued to barter with the persistent arachnid.

“Your weird friends too?  Well... give us your snacks for the rest of this month’s break time and it’s a deal, same thing goes for those two also.” Grimm haggled, he was gonna make sure that if he couldn’t keep them out, he and his friends would at least make out like kings with them joining.  Herrah pondered the new request, mulling it over in her mind for a bit before responding again.

“Maybe, but you still have to meet my sis’s requirements exactly.” She replied inconclusively.  Grimm knew that if this was going to go any farther then he’d need to see all the terms of agreement first.

“Okay Okay.. let me look them over first.” He asked with his small waiting claws outstretched.  Herrah unflinchingly handed the list over, written in a crude scrawl with red marker.  Most of it was legible enough to the youngin, and he sounded aloud the requests one by one, Herrah nodding along accordingly to every single point.

“So... Super fit and pretty, Super awesome ninja tools, Cute fluttering dress, super cool sword she can tie to invisible ninja spider silk ropes... Oh hrm...well she can’t be a princess.” Grimm finished disconcertingly, the hesitation palpable enough to be cut through.  He exchanged a nervous glance to the “royal couple” and watched as the queen returned a sour look and subtly scooted even closer to Pale in her seat.

“...Excuse me?”  Herrah questioned with a harsh bite of scrutiny, the broiling vitriol just barely contained within her tightened throat.  She glared to the boy fumbling with the childish manuscript, her eyes demanding explanation.

“She can’t.  Pale is the only king currently and-”

“And I’m already the queen!” Lady cut off with a possessive wine, wrapping her arms tightly around her kid crush, returning the spider’s gaze with a too cute to be serious pout.

“Okay I don’t have to be the queen whatever, I just want my own space like she does, and it’s not fair she is the only one with royal heirs.” Herrah bemoaned to the Castles and Keepers Master, before turning her attention to the wimpy King.  ”If you and lady can pretend your younger bros are your princes, then I’m sure it wouldn’t take much for you to pretend my younger sis is your princess.”

“Oh come on, my mom forced me to let them play too after finding out I didn’t want them to join in and ruin everything.  Your little sis doesn’t need to be royalty too!”  Pale returned with a half groan half whine, he didn’t want to have to share his perfect kingdom with yet another younger kid.  Herrah listened to his grievance uncaringly as she rolled her eyes to his meaningless complaint.

“But if you didn’t want them to be royal then why couldn’t you have just-”

“Because me n Pale are gonna get married one day so I gotta practice being a mamma!  Pale would never marry a  weird girl like you!  Girls aren’t supposed to like creepy crawlies, especially spiders!  Everyone else calls you a beast for a reason!”  The petite sapling let out with a jealous squeal, quick to defame the intruding girl in any way possible.  As she wrapped herself even tighter against the young bug, the humored arachnid couldn’t help but try and hide an entertained grin.  Lady was sure one to talk for one Herrah knew how to fuss all too well.

“Oh I’m sorry, I forgot you screamed and wet your pants the day I brought Miss fuzzy to class!  Miss scaredy Lady!”  She shot back with a malicious smirk, teasing the small tree in nearly the same tone as the moth used to stir up trouble.  Instantly Lady’s eyes sparked with an aggravated jolt of color, huffing frustratedly as the taunt instantly managed to bury under her branches.

“Meanie!  You tried to put her on my head!” She cried back, her eyes growing glossy and damp from her rage and embarrassment.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Enough!!  Whatever sure you can have your character and Hornet can too and she can even be a ninja princess whatever too.  Give us your snacks for the next month now and I’ll let your friends also get roles, but say anything to Miss Seeker and I’ll undo all of that!” With a sudden snap, Grimm broke through the bickering before either had the chance to start screaming, more than ready to meet any demand as long as it would bring the toneless cacophony to a standstill.  Both girls backed off, Herrah with a proud, gratified smile and lady with a sniffle and a wipe of her eyes, which was quickly fixed with a hug from Pale.

“Only for the next week, no way I’ll give for a month.” Concluded Herrah, seemingly more than willing to negotiate now that she knew a position within their game was all but secured.  Grimm pondered it, humming to himself with his eyes closed in thought, snapping to attention once he believed to have mulled it over enough.

“Fine then, for the next two weeks?”

“Deal!”

[dear-selena]

All I See (Peter Parker x Soulmate! Reader): Chapter 4

Peter Parker x Reader Soulmate!AU 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Epilogue

Summary: You live in a world where women start to gain color when they meet their soulmate, but they cannot see all the colors at once until they’ve united with them. Peter Parker is your soulmate, but he has no idea. You want to tell him about the colors you see, but are afraid to. Sometimes, girls can be malicious with the soulmate troupe, and you don’t want Peter to think you’re doing the same. So you keep quiet, and experience one color at a time. 

It isn’t until Liz Allan comes in the picture that all you see is green, and you hate it. 

Warnings: Angst Central tbh

A/N: Hey guys! This took a little longer than I hoped to get up, but I hope I made the wait worth it! I’ve actually been writing another Peter Parker fanfic, so if you’d like to be added to a permanent tagging list, please let me know! I’ll also add you to this story tags list if you just request that. 

Okay enough rambling... enjoy! 

Chapter Four: Why So Blue?  

Words: 2226

-------------------

The weekend felt like it lasted forever. 

After Peter left your apartment, you were given a good two days to think about how you wanted to talk to him about the whole soulmate thing. The entire weekend put you on edge, and you’d imagine scenarios on how things could go. You daydreamed of him smiling wide, picking you up, spinning you around, and kissing you like the way you’ve always wanted. After all, you wanted to save your first kiss for your one and only, and when you met Peter last year, the thought of kissing him was always on the back of your mind. These thoughts would make your vision turn pink, and you could practically see all the colors come together. 

Then again, with how luck has been for you, you could see things working against you. You imagined him with a look of disappointment, confused at what you were trying to say and ultimately walking away from you. 

“You’re not Liz though…” You could practically hear him say. 

These thoughts screamed the loudest in your mind, making your vision turn a very familiar shade of green. Certainly, with him falling for Liz once again, you couldn’t stand a chance. Everyone knows she’s a gorgeous girl. Whenever you saw her at school she was talking to someone. She definitely had a lot of friends, and everyone seemed to like her. You saw the way other boys looked at her, and you saw how she was able to handle the pressure of constant attention. Compared to you, Liz was perfect. 

No wonder your soulmate wants to be with her. 

You walk into school Monday morning, dreading the day ahead of you. If you were being honest, you were really hoping to not run into Peter today. You hadn’t come up with a plan to tell him that you were his soulmate without freaking him out. Despite how long the weekend was, you needed it to be longer so you had more time to think. 

You open your locker and throw your lunch in it, not caring about the leftovers you brought from home getting messed up. Your vision has been purple all morning, fearing the moment you’d see Peter. Sighing into your locker, you look at the small mirror you keep in there. You have the heaviest bags under your eyes from all the sleep you lost this weekend, and the makeup you were wearing was not helping you out in any way. With all the overthinking you’ve done, there’s no wonder you felt like an absolute zombie. 

“Someone didn’t get her beauty sleep,” someone said right beside you. You looked at them through your mirror and saw MJ at her locker that was right next to yours. She had a straight face as she focused on opening her locker and getting books out. 

You turn to face her. “I couldn’t sleep. I was too busy this weekend thinking about something I need to do.” 

“Oh, like tell Peter you’re his soulmate?” 

Your blood ran cold. Did MJ really just say that? You look up at her as she closes her locker and starts to walk to her first class. You practically slam your locker shut and run after her. 

“Wait, wh- wh- what do you mean?” You say once you caught up to her. Damn, she’s a really fast walker. 

“(Y/N), I can just tell he’s your soulmate. You tend to blink intensely and look around in awe when he says something nice to you. I just assumed that was your colors changing,” 

You were taken aback. “Do I really do that?” 

MJ snorted. “Yeah, and you also look at him with heart eyes. It’s kind of gross.” 

You glared at MJ for a moment, but sighed. She was right after all. “You’re crazy observant you know that?” 

The two of you had reached her class by now. Instead of walking in and ditching you completely like you thought she’d do, she turned to look directly at you, a serious look on her face. “Look (Y/N), you should just tell Peter you’re his soulmate. You don’t need to do the whole ‘cliche romance’ thing or whatever. You’re lucky you can at least see color,” MJ looked down and you swore she was frowning. You then remembered that she still sees black and white, and you realize MJ must want to see her soulmate. You felt the same way before you met Peter, and you remember how it felt to know other girls saw colors, and you couldn’t. 

“Peter’s a loser, but you’re ultimately stuck with him. You should make the most out of it while you can.” 

Even though MJ basically insulted your soulmate, you smiled at her. “Thanks MJ, that really means a lot.” She nodded her head and turned towards her classroom before you could hug her goodbye. You know she’s not one to show affection like that, but you really wish you could express your gratitude towards her. 

As you walked towards your first class you were filled with a new sense of confidence. Your vision started turning orange, which indicates excitement for your soulmate. Your newfound determination set your head straight as you finally decide to tell Peter when you saw him today. 

Today you were going to tell Peter he is your soulmate. 

__________

Lunch rolled around and you still haven’t seen him. He’s normally in English with you, but he wasn’t here today. Sometimes Peter comes in late if he senses danger in the city, and from the news coverage you saw on your social media, you knew Spider-Man was out saving the day. 

However, you didn’t feel anxious. You still saw orange, and you still felt confident. 

When your class got out for lunch, you walk to your locker, when you suddenly stop in your tracks. You see Ned standing by his locker, peering over the door trying not to be seen. When you followed his direction of sight, your heart stopped when you saw Peter talking to Liz on the other side of the hallway. Your orange vision immediately turns green. 

You quickly make your way to Ned. “Hey Ned, why are you spying on Peter and Liz?” 

“I’m trying to hear what they’re saying,” Ned responds. “Or at least try to read their lips.”

You look back over towards your soulmate to see him smile wide at Liz. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek before walking away from him. Peter stood idly for a moment before walking towards you and Ned shaking his fist in some sort of victory. 

“Uh, hey man… what’s got you so happy?” Ned asks trying to sound casual. 

Peter smiles wide again, practically glowing. “So I finally gained the courage to ask Liz on a date, and she actually said yes!” 

HUH?

The world felt like it suddenly froze around you as colors started to fight for dominance. 

You start to blink rapidly as your heartbeat accelerates, your mind going a mile a minute. You try to process what Peter just said as purple, red, and green engulfed your vision rapidly. With your body trying to find the right emotions to react to Peter’s news, you felt your mind was all over the place, ultimately giving you a headache. 

After what felt like a minute of your internal color seizure, your vision calms into an intense shade of green. You feel ringing in your ears as your heartbeat continues to go lightening fast. You see Ned cheer for Peter as they did their handshake. Ned was clearly excited for the boy. However, As your ears stopped ringing only to be replaced by numb arms and tears threatening to fall, you suddenly realize what had happened. 

Peter just asked out Liz. Liz said yes. Peter gave himself to someone else. 

Your soulmate doesn’t want you. 

Despite the ringing in your ears, you watch as Ned and Peter fully engross themselves in a conversation that was obviously about the one and only Liz. In order to not break down on the spot, you start to slowly back away from your two friends. Once you thought you were in the clear, you turn around and walk away. 

You quickly dodge people in the halls as you felt tears about to fall. You want so badly to breakdown, to let your emotions out now that you’ve lost your soulmate. But you didn’t want to do it around anyone. You knew you’d never be able to live with yourself if you lose your cool in public. 

As you continued to speed walk to the nearest bathroom, you hear someone call your name. You blink back tears and turn around to see Peter chasing after you. “(Y/N)! (Y/N), wait!” Peter shouts over the crowd of students. Instead of waiting however, you turn back around and try walking faster. Unfortunately, Peter is light on his feet, and he caught up to you in no time. 

“(Y/N),” Peter said, placing himself in front of you and putting his hands on your shoulders. “What happened? Are you okay?” 

You shake your head, refusing to look at him. “Peter, I don’t really want to talk about it now,” you say attempting to get out of his grasp. However, he didn’t make the escape easy. 

“(Y/N), please, I want to help you, be here for you. Please trust me.” 

You swore you heard him wrong. Did he really just say he wants to help? He was just cheering about how he chose another girl and suddenly he’s concerned about you? 

But nevertheless, he did say that, and he was now rubbing his thumbs over your shoulders trying to calm you down. If anything, his hands felt like weights on your numb arms dragging you closer to the ground with every move his thumbs made. You don’t know what came over you, but you knew one thing. 

You didn’t want to lie to him. 

You look up at Peter, a glint of fire in your eyes. “All I see is green.” 

Peter loosens his grip on you and looks at you with confusion. “Wait, what?”

“All I see is green Peter, and I absolutely hate it!” You try to stay calm, but your voice level was rising. 

Peter continues looking confused for a moment before he starts putting the pieces of the puzzle together in his head. He suddenly looks at you with deep concern. 

“(Y/N), is your soulmate doing something bad to you?” 

Are. You. Serious. 

You blink rapidly as the tears find their way out, letting out an exasperated sigh that sounded like you were choking. With your arms tingling, and heart breaking, you could feel your mind going into autopilot. 

“Yes Peter, and you’re my soulmate!” You practically shout, thanking the lord that the hallways weren’t as crowded anymore. 

Peter’s eyes widen as he pulls himself away from you. “I’m- I’m what?” 

“I’m your soulmate, Peter! I knew from the first time I saw you. You smiled at me from across the hall and I instantly saw yellow and pink and all sorts of colors. But all I see is green right now, and I know it’s because you want Liz. It’s because she’s all you talk about since she came back. It’s because you are willing to give yourself to her because I was too scared of making you angry if I suddenly told you the truth. It’s because I didn’t want you to think I was lying like Gwen did before.” You let out a shaky breath. “It’s because you don’t see me that way…” 

Your breathing became rapid and your head pounds. You didn’t realize how much energy bottling in your feelings would have on you. As your mind got off of autopilot, you became aware of how eerily quiet everything was in the halls. 

You hesitantly look up to see Peter’s face. He presses his lips tightly together and furrows his eyebrows, fumes evident in his eyes. His hands make fists and you can tell he’s attempting not to scream. 

It’s obvious he’s angry at you. 

“Are… you… kidding me?” Peter practically yells, his voice dripping with frustration. 

Your eyes go wide at his sudden outburst, and once again colors flash in front of your eyes. Purple, green, and red engulf your vision, putting your mind in an emotional storm. You see Peter’s mouth moving in a furious state, but you genuinely couldn’t hear what he said. Your ears rang even louder than before, and your mind felt like exploding. 

Your vision once again starts to settle, but this time into a cold, new color you’ve never seen before. The tears you’ve fought off for so song start to win the battle. As tears rapidly come out, you find yourself running away from the empty hall, away from whatever you just experienced…

And away from your soulmate who clearly doesn’t want you. 

As you continue running away from Peter, you accept this new color that engulfs your vision. You finally find a bathroom to run into and ran in, letting your emotions out. As you sob in front of a mirror, you look up at your reflection to fully see this new, cold, and unfamiliar color. 

All you saw was blue, for sadness.

——————————

-Tagged List-

@peteerrpaarkerr // @littlemissporter // @the-soulless-spider // @fakindob // @stuckonpeterparker // @godhatestarynn // @itsjustahuman // @saxgirl21 // @freestarlight // @clara-licht // @cats-before-us // @horanxholland // @thenerdiverse // @roseryss // @ohbabycal // @superwholock36 // @famouslastlove // @azgucci // @invisiblelakes // @lost-in-translating // @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash // @jillanaholland // @iamanerdnot // @disgustangg // @imcharishope // @dehughgrection // @spider-manholland // @sellulii // @falskaprofeter // @jackiehollanderr // @holland-tingz // @discodeakky // @my-suga-kookies // @quicksilverandspiderlokipokidoki // @tomshufflepuff

[madamhatter]

how lucky it was for these two girls to spy sophie in passing! it was as if the universe had heard the two friends speak so highly of the visitor who would occasionally swing by emile’s class for show and tell. it had been a while since they had last seen sophie, so one could imagine their excitement in recognizing the other from a distance, little feet pattering against the ground as they ran towards the woman, a basket of flowers in each girl’s hand. their voices call out to her to get her attention, and almost immediately, two outstretched hands offer sophie a blossom each as gifts. “do you remember us? will you be visiting us again soon?” 

Have I gotten familiar to the floating island above? Inquiries of conformity frequented my mind, a yearning and craving they were, hinged to me as if a shadow. Have I finally anchored myself to such a place? Adaptability was once a trait I believed to possess, yet two years proven me a fool to think positive of myself.  Cries of seagulls above, not one eye needs to glance in that direction to confirm their habits. 2, 3, 4, … ., 10, 11, 12 … . . Circling overhead for opportunity, they salvage for impressionable and giving folks or food - - either of which would be found with both decision. Unfortunately, this place where I meander, in this current time, is not a place where morsels may be handed out. 

My finger waved side-to-side, a metronome to the workings of the world around me. Up to two, it was a scale of my own design that mimicked the original; dexterity may be a particular of mine, but a human I am and matching a metronome isn’t (normally) physically possible. However, what the body may lack is refined by mind; what my body precedes only the possibilities of what happens underneath this unremarkable form. 

Compulsory movement, life regulates itself to streamlined performance and rituals. Contrasting the fluidity and bind of the human spirit, that is what everyday life comes down to. Just like how the backdoor of the bakery behind me swings open at the 6th measure, pitter-pattering of feet and store restocking go on from the 7th to 10th, before the door closes at the 11th, and silence resumes. Sometimes, the the baker’s assistant rushes out earlier, breaking the pattern, but it remains relative – earlier at the 5th or rushed at the 10th.

And, again, the measure restarts, but only for that particular event. Recognizing the numbers that conduct the procedures of mundane living, notwithstanding the strange when it rears itself unceremoniously in, that must’ve been the trait of mine.  Still, a useless one. It never did serve any benefit of others, even in the workshop. All it did was aid me in orchestrating and working with or around others, quick to my feet or hands, or anything that was needed of me, appearing like a summoned ghost to their unspoken or voiced commands. 

Between the valley or above the clouds, tumultuous life continues fixed to the course of the sun and moon, creating a shift that man, who once saw it indescribable and unnamable, to time, which then was domesticated to years, seasons, months, and days. Tumult… Haha. Foolish of me to even determine that I’ve grown accustomed to this place. 

I adjusted my recline, my hand flat against my cheek and my elbow resting on top of a wooden post that belonged to a longer winding rail system. It separated this level of the district at its ledge and from below, the port.

I mindlessly pick at the wicker basket rest at the crux of my other arm. Scarred and calloused tissue brushes and accounts the wintery flowers in my collection. 

A sigh. 

Life goes on, I repeat that to myself so often, as should I. Yet, why do I feel myself hanging with uncertainty with only a line of spider silk around my ankle? Dangling yet expectant of the prey.  “Hm?”

A scratch in the pattern I’ve memorized. A pattering from behind greets my ears. A set of two pattering, to be exact. 

I turn my head, brows raised at the sight.

White dyras, they grew in a place whose name has been recently burnt from history. A collection of snow white single-petaled flowers grouped together, the pistils having honeycomb yellow stems that reach out. At the time of maturity, their pollen spreads into the wind like their perennial cousins that often mistaken as flowers, dandelions. 

Flowers of innocence, it is the first image that comes to mind when you see them. A pair of two young schoolgirls approach with pep in their feet and recognition in their eyes.

Phoebe, ruby eyes and dark brown hair, thick and intricate cornrows worked from the left side to ride, creating an elegant ponytail with teal, orange, and white beads fastened to the end of each of the braids.  Elena, orange eyes and moose hair, her head is covered mostly by a orange beanie that matches the same shade as one of the beads in Phoebe’s hair, and all that can be seen are relaxed fringes.

Two girls from Mister Claire’s class. Goodness, it’s been a while…

“Do you remember us? Will you be visiting us again soon?”  “Of course I do. Good morning, Miss Phoebe and Miss Elena. I promise to visit as soon as I can.” 

My expression softens from its rigid and tensed look, I even felt the muscles of my cheeks and shoulders relaxing at what is the first nonobligatory conversation someone holds with me today.

“How are you both doing today? Isn’t the incoming spring breeze just refreshing? Not as shiver-inducing like the ones that passed a week ago.” 

Expectant eyes, however, now look befuddled, leaving a young woman like myself puzzled over why two young students looked at me in such a way. Had I spoken too vaguely again? Had I dictated myself like an old maid again? Had I spoken too carelessly, making my accent slip out? 

Far too many questions, far too little time. Damn social interactions! 

Something catches my eyes.

“Huh?”

I look down, now to fully perceive the dress of the two young girls. As expected, in their casual wear. Had either been in their uniforms, then this Sunday would’ve been an odd day.

Ah, they carry similar baskets to my own, and just like them, the weight of the baskets had been filled with flowers. Their variety was the typical ones that grow naturally in the city, compared to the others in my clutch, being from the rooftop garden.

And, in their hands were…

“Oh, goodness! How terribly daft of me.” 

Heat coats my cheeks. Immediately I squat to the ground, an ungracious move that was covered by my long skirt. 

They had been holding out the flowers. For inspection, no doubt. That’s why they recall me so well, I was a spectator to their show and tells often. However, the events of these past weeks, and ‘late night’ shifts left me more battered and wearier than what I expected from the work. 

“These look wonderful! Are you planning on sharing this with Mister Claire and the class tomorrow? Your teacher would adore the idea and for all you have, you can even adorn the classroom! How fitting for spring.” 

I hold my closed fists in front of me, nodding my head, drinking in the image of a flower-covered classroom from floor to ceiling, embracing the change of season. I heard countless times from my peers in education that decorations were of the norm, since they had to deal with my blank expression from time-to-time about such customs.  My mind remains wrapped around the idea, but the silence itself is deafening compared to the replies that, at this point, should’ve been exchanged. Should I be worried about the gaze that still hasn’t changed? Phoebe glances to her friend and back at me. Elena remains with her eyes on me Both of them possibly doubting someone of my age and the things I’ve said. Which, still, do not come to me. And, too, which isn’t surprising or even insulting. 

Until one of them stares with such resolve, even pity, at the social barrier, finally addressing the lost elder: 

“These are for you, Miss Hatter.” A courteous inflection but bewildered expression from Elena. 

“Huh?”  The confusion remains thick, but my mind vocalizes it.  “They’re for me…?”

Relieved heads nod at the movement in conversation, silently happy at the wall was overcome.

“My apologies..–” I clear my throat. “Today is ..” Index finger taps the back of my hand, putting together the words. “Valentine’s Day.” 

A supportive nod from Phoebe.

“Ah…”

Polite obligations sets in, despite the hesitation and discomfort growing in my mind, and it is my responsibility that I must uphold. To take these flowers were necessary, no matter how I felt on the exchange. Yet, most importantly, it would make them happy – which I would not deny young children any joys they could feel.

“Both of you are so generous and kind for your ages!” 

Despite the frigidness trailing down my spine, the cold making my hands wanting to curl up, the shudder that comes with taking in this reality, I remain with some dignity in this shambled body I known as myself.

But, its name…… That depends on who needs me, requires me. I am whoever they wish for me to be. And today, I am Miss Hatter. 

“Coral bells and marbled poinsettias, what beautiful spring colors with the blushing pinks and pale whites. Ever fitting the season and the holiday, you two have such a spectacular selection.” 

Carefully, I retrieve each flower, naming any fact from my insignificant lips. I settle them into my basket. 

“Thank you.” I clap my hands together, bowing my head momentarily.

 “As well, excellent timing for I have something that’d interest you as well. ”

Their expressions of curiosity lights an already bright day. Inquisitiveness has them almost on their toes, inching closer without any qualms to how anyone would perceive it; a child’s whimsical mind, always unprejudiced and welcoming on its own.

I search through my basket and I pinch the selection I had in mind that perfectly match both Phoebe and Elena’s color coordination.

“Please have this.”

Tied together by a red ribbon is a bouquet crafted and arranged by my own hands. Sunset orange plumerias and white spider lilies bunched together, the plumerias at the forefront while the spindly spider lilies were in the background, embellishing the size of the bouquet altogether.

Two of beautiful bouquets for two beautiful spirited girls.

“I promise again that I’ll visit Mister Claire’s classroom. Tomorrow is the perfect day to do so and it would be only fair to share something for once.” 

Though softer than a whisper, both girls remain attentive of each word and their eyes wider and now dazzling. What has caught their attention away from the arrangements? 

Perhaps it was the moment of surprise that overtook them. It is a swift change in mood and something unexpected from this interaction. 

I’m not sure why but my face feels a little tired. Ignoring it is the best choice, my body falters in how ‘healthy’ it feels already.

My hand rests above my chest.

This feeling. Like when the sun hits my back whenever I set laundry on the wire for my sisters, and when the rays awaken me from my workshop bench when the shop is idle midday, and when the light grants me sight to read during the terribly rainy days back in the house between the valleys.

My cheeks are warm.

( Most unknown to her, Sophie Hatter smiles.. Had she known, she’d called herself spry in the moment, her body and mind feeling far too aged to consider it normal for her. Yet, for those witnessing,  it was something else. Not delicate like how she performed duties, not crafted as she trained it to be.

Unrestrained, exquisite, a true look of beauty underneath all she found unremarkable and felt apathetic towards. )

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

( She smiles, genuinely and simply, as Sophie Hatter. Something she should do more. )  

[samsevenwrites]

“So?”

Rachel had waited a few minutes, just enough time for Peter to pack his things. Now, she wanted an answer.

Earlier in the week, as a new student at Blackwell Academy, Peter had asked for her help to catch up September classes he had missed, and Rachel gladly accepted before realizing that the new one was smarter than most of the students. No, in fact, he was smarter than any other student.

Peter Parker was good at photography, was an accomplished scientist, and when he did not excel in a subject, he was good anyway. Everyone expected him to fail at least on the basketball court, but he had surprised the whole class, including the teacher, by scoring several baskets effortlessly.

In fact, it would not take much for Peter to help his classmates himself.

Rachel had finally concluded that his request maybe disguised a classic, but sometimes effective, attempt at flirtation: after all, it was an approach like any other. Yet, instead of being the teacher or the courting girl, Rachel just had the role of the observer, watching Peter while he was completing the exercises, without hearing any questions.

What was the point of learning in silence what was already known? Why lock yourself in an empty classroom instead of enjoying the end of the day?

So Rachel had the idea to play.

After he had stuck his notepad between two textbooks in his bag, Peter lifted his face to his classmate, noting how the tired sun’s rays were sketching her silhouette.

The golden hour had the power to make the shadows immense without becoming terrifying, to transform the colors of fire into peaceful shades, to accentuate the mystery that enveloped Rachel, this girl full of life.

Peter quickly dismissed this painful thought.

His approach did disguised an intention, and unfortunately, it was not romantic: Peter was interested in Rachel not as Peter Parker, but as Spider-man.

“OK, explain your game.”

Despite Peter’s hardly convincing sigh, Rachel smiled radiantly.

When neither of them spoke, they could hear the students’ discussions outside, and under the screams and laughter, if they gave enough attention, they could even hear the murmur of wind and water from the fountain where was perched Jeremiah Blackwell.

Behind her back, Rachel felt the melancholy heat of the end of the day. She did not notice the soft blaze colors that were unfolding on the horizon, yet she guessed them in the eyes of her classmate, in the hazel pupils that were at that moment as the same hue as honey.

“This is a game I learned in theater class. It's all about improvisation,” she got up and went off to sit on the edge of one of the windows, “we’ve to spy on people from far away and imagine stories from what we see. The best would be to choose two people to engage in a dialogue.”

“So we observe other students and we make them talk, huh? A preference for the register?”

“Comic or dramatic, I let you choose.”

She suspected that he would understand the rules quickly, but it was about interpretation through an imagination influenced by feelings: it was a game that could say a lot about the player, even a smart one.

“I’m curious to see what you think, Peter. What a New Yorker can say about high school students in Arcadia Bay?”

A brief, guilty grin showed that the new student was sorry to be so distant. It had been three weeks since Peter Parker joined Blackwell and he stubbornly remained at the back of the stage even though he had attracted attention: his New York accent had invoked dreams of the great a city for those who had never walked down the Broadway’s sidewalks, and for Rachel, this city dweller was an enigma. Why did this boy leave the big city to get lost on this little coast? Worse, for the Californian, this exile was as serious as crime.

“Then my participation is an honor?”

“May you satisfy my curiosity,” joked Rachel, bowing.

As he laughed, Peter leaned on the edge too and watched the grassy ground where everything was so calm, so easy. Different groups of teenagers illustrated the many facets of youth: geeks who played a board game to escape the real world, footballers who drew in infinite energy, popular girls who composed their brilliant image, rebels who did not even hide to smoke, defying the simplest authority—

Peter Parker almost envied them for their common worries.

With a reflex, he rubbed his wrists that were too often clasped by his web-shooters.

The teenager would have liked time to be suspended, then the sun would never cross the horizon and that the problems of this school would resume to weed and unprotected sex.

With a heavy heart, Peter tried not to look at Rachel: although he was seeing her for real with her colorful face, he was haunted by the black and white portrait he had seen.

“You can choose anyone,” said Rachel with a wave of her hand. “You won’t hurt anyone, this game will stay between us, promised.”

Concentrate on this game, Peter. Enjoy this quiet moment, they’re so rare—

He studied several samples, moving from one individual to another, to finally stop on this girl with blond short hair, both elegant and cold. He did not know what her name was, and he was certain that this oversight would have been an affront to this diva.

With his finger, he pointed to the schoolgirl who, chin pretentiously erect, was chatting with a friend. After clearing his throat, Peter started:

“What will I do after high school? Invent sunproof makeup, I can’t stand this sun anymore!”

“Oh my god, Victoria,” Rachel exclaimed, agreeing with Taylor's surprised expression in the distance, “you’re so smart! Waterproof is so overrated nowadays! I’ll be your first client.”

They tried to compose the continuation of the dialogue, watching the faces, the gestures, the movements. Their comedy sounded so good that it was hardly spoiled by some contradictions.

Suddenly Rachel laughed, pulling herself out of Taylor's role:

“I didn’t know you had so much humor!”

“Because I didn’t have a public worthy yet.”

“Oh, my humble person is enough for your one-man show?”

“Absolutely. I’ve always loved mischievous audiences.”

“Seduction by words is the only weapon that matters.”

Haloed by the sunset that served as a projector, the two teenagers gave themselves great airs from their perch that became a secret scene. Both actors betrayed themselves with laughter and smiles, making their game adorably bad.

Now that they were discussing, Peter understood the Rachel Amber’s popularity.

He first thought that it was her beauty that attracted people: the profile of the future model was well designed and, endowed with the calm that seemed untouchable, she had a smile that looked like the Mona Lisa’s one who challenged anyone to impress her.

Now, he knew that her success exceeded the image: Rachel knew how to direct the conversations thanks to an always witty repartee. If she respected the silences, the timid ones, however, could become talkative in her presence as she was lively and friendly.

Some might have said she had too many dreams to accomplish, but Rachel had enough energy to make them all come true.

Peter hoped for her a promising future.

Stop thinking about it. Stop looking at her this way or she’ll have doubts.

To silence his anguish, the unsuspected hero turned away to find another subject of inspiration. He then observed one of the skaters on the lawn who was tightening the screws on his board. For a moment, he wondered if he was also a student of Blackwell since he had never seen him in class.

After a few moments, Peter says:

“I wonder if there is enough room on my skateboard to engrave the full periodic table? Would people notice it?”

“The nerd who isn’t at easy, good one! It works with Justin, too.”

Rachel leaned in, visibly taken in the game.

She was really having fun with Peter and was even tempted to suggest that he join the theater class. What she had imagined to be shyness was only prudence.

Head bent to the side, Rachel looked at him with great attention.

Modest, Peter answered:

“Well, it’s pretty classic actually, but thank you.”

“That’s true, but I’ve a weakness for stories where appearances are misleading.”

A weakness for the mysteries, therefore.

In a reflex, Peter looked down, pretending to look for other topics to improvise a new dialogue. His research was interrupted by a rather surprising question:

“Peter, what would you say if you see Spider-man?”

He was so surprised he wondered if he had heard correctly.

“Spider-man?”

“Yes. Imagine: all of a sudden, Spider-man web swings to cross the campus, greeting students just below him. That would be a perfect subject, right? What would you invent?”

“Uh— Gotta go fast?”

They burst out laughing.

“But really, Rachel, I doubt that Spider-man goes through Blackwell one day. Everything’s so calm here.”

“Who knows? Even he might need rest.”

She did not imagine how hurtful it could be for the spider-man to hear this: every time someone showed compassion, Peter Parker had to pretend to be indifferent and hide an moved pride.

“Spider-man has been seen in Oregon twice since the beginning of the month, after a long absence—”

“It may be another Spider-man.”

“He had the same blue and red suit as the one from New York.”

Oops.

The conversation was beginning to make him uneasy, especially because of Rachel’s posture: her hands were on her hips and she was looking at him with her head tilted to the left, as if to watch his reactions.

She can’t know.

Peter pulled out his phone, preparing the excuse of the late hour to leave Rachel and take refuge in the dormitory.

“If Spider-man was swinging in front of us,” continued the student, “I would say he’s in a hurry to go back to his lab.”

“His laboratory? Why a laboratory?”

She shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m convinced that the one who hides under this mask is a scientist, a good scientist, and like any self-respecting good scientist, he has his own laboratory.”

Peter was unable to decipher that cat’s gaze that was scrutinizing him, that barely hemmed smile.

Would she remain so calm if he told her, right there, right now, that he was the man who hides under the costume covered with webs?

Or had she already guessed?

“It’s funny,” the plainclothes hero muttered, “you’re one of the few people to imagine that Spider-man can have a life on the ground, far from fighting.”

“There’s a difference between a superhero and an everyday hero.”

“The first one has super powers and not the other?”

“No, it’s a matter of costume. Just like Spider-man and the one wearing the suit.”

Peter nodded, looking distracted.

He could not contradict this logic when he had set himself the goal of protecting Rachel without his costume.

Peter kept his lips closed, calculating the years before that corridor would be wallpapered with “Missing Person” posters. Three years to understand what was going to happen to Rachel Amber. Three years in any universe, but not this one, he promised.

And to succeed, he should become a discreet hero, an everyday hero.

[mysnarkyslytherinsecret]

What is Severus gonna do if he suddenly was hug attacked from a student who's all scared and panicking because she saw a big spider and she's arachnophobic? She was running down the halls and she doesn't even see Severus until she smashes into him and clings onto him and asks him to save her

“SPIDER!” Her lips don’t quite form the word, but her brain is screaming it, and she might as well have shouted. Careening down the halls with reckless abandon and sliding on the wet floor tiles, she rounds the corner, her mind full of terror at the thing that moves hot on her heels.

She does not realize that it is not the only fearsome thing in the castle.

All she sees is black as she runs headlong into dark, musky robes that smell uncomfortably of pickled potions ingredients.  He grunts deeply, and it is obvious that he’s had the wind knocked out of him.  Slowly, a pale, skeletal hand tightens on her shoulder and pulls her onto her feet.  Black eyes stare balefully down at her as he catches his breath.  His face is flushed with fury.

“Do you mind telling me why you thought it a good idea to run in the halls like a rabid hippogriff?”  His voice, when it escapes his thin lips, is deceptively calm and even. It is at odds with the hellfire expression on his face.

“Spi-spi-spi-” she stutters, pointing back behind her. 

“A spy?” He quirks an eyebrow.

“-der….spider!” she stammers.

He looks utterly unamused at this. “I assure you, a spider is not at all reason for you to break school rules so blatantly.  Twenty points from Ravenclaw.”

“Please, sir,” she says, tugging at his sleeve, completely mad with fear and  forgetting that one does not touch the fearsome Potions master, “it’s coming….”

Severus opens his mouth, but then something loud slams against the far wall in the darkness, and a thin wail erupts from the student’s mouth as massive hairy legs the size of saplings twitch and begin their relentless onward march towards its quarry.

Snape hisses. “Behind me!”

With that, he steps in front of her, his arm spread out to shield her.  His wand is already in his left hand, held in a deadly dueling position.

He says nothing, but swipes his wand in a precise manner, as though surgically slicing the air. a bright purple bolt of light flies from the tip of his wand, moving in a strange, runic formation towards the massive spider, covering it like a glowing web.  The creature shrieks, sinking its venomous fangs into the spell to no effect.  The web shrinks and shrinks, compacting the massive spider into smaller and smaller space until it pops out of existence completely.

Snape gives the empty space a dirty look and then turns, casting diagnostic spells over the huddling student behind him.  “Did it bite you? Are you injured?”  His voice is clinical and almost bored, but she can tell that he is concerned.

She shakes her head.  “It d-dropped down from one of the classroom ceilings on the second floor when I went to practice my charms lesson.”

He sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose.  “Were there any others?”

She shakes her head. “No, but there was a large white ball of something hanging from the ceiling.  I think it was an egg sac.”

“Great,” Snape growls, muttering something to himself.  She thinks she can hear the word “Hagrid,” but that is it.  “Go back to your common room. Immediately.  And make sure all other students do the same if you see any on your way. Go. Now.”

As she turns and begins to make her way back down the hall, she hears him mutter something under his breath and turns to see a bright flash of light pulse through the air on four hooves.  She turns back to see several spectral deer bounding down the hall away from Snape, who does not see her- he is too preoccupied with getting to the second floor before anything else happens.

Later, she ponders at how such a surly creature as the feared Potions master could have such a gentle patronus. She has read a bit about them, and knows that he must have a rather powerful positive memory to draw from in order to summon that many at once. 

Well, she thinks, it could be worse.  It could have been a spider.

[ramajmedia]

10 James Bond Memes Too Funny For Words | ScreenRant

Suave spy James Bond is one of cinema's most iconic characters. For more than fifty years the British spy has been delighting audiences, whether it be with the serious films in the series like On Her Majesty's Secret Service, or the sillier fares like Man With the Golden Gun or Moonraker.

When something is such a pop-culture staple, one can bet their bottom dollar that they are a prime candidate for memes, and the internet has answered the call. The following ten memes are the funniest ones out there about the sometimes dark, sometimes lighthearted, but always dashingly handsome and suave MI-6 agent.

10 License To Overkill

Everybody has thought about extinguishing unwanted house guests in such a fashion at least once in their life. Bond is the only one with the stones to actually go through with it. It's just unfortunate he does it to house spiders since they are typically a welcome presence.

RELATED: James Bond's 10 Most Brutal Kills, Ranked

If it were cockroaches or a trail of ants, then fire away, but spiders help exterminate other pests that make their way into a home. Still, few people can handle a homemade flamethrower with the same immaculate style as Roger Moore's Bond.

9 YOLT

You only live once (or the abbreviated YOLO) was an unbearably popular phrase about ten years ago. The usage has since died down, but ghosts of its popularity still haunt classrooms and sitcom reruns from that era. Bond was ahead of the curve by more than forty years and bolder in his stance.

RELATED: 10 Things We Want From No Time To Die

Who needs one life when you can have two? At this point, 007 has more like six lives, and will probably be getting a seventh after No Time to Die comes out. Additionally, no song about YOLO comes anywhere near Nancy Sinatra's You Only Live Twice, not even the Lonely Island's comedic interpretation of the fad.

8 Sean Bean

Sean Bean's status as a popular meme ensures that even though his characters often die, they will live on in the pop culture's collective consciousness. This parody of another popular meme is especially poignant coming from a character Bond thought died right in front of his eyes, yet came back years later as a villain.

Those who have seen Goldeneye know: like most other Sean Bean characters, Trevelyan bites it by the end of the film.

7 Questionable Ethics

Depending on the situation, this classic Bond trope falls anywhere between unbelievably suave and undeniably creepy. Roger Moore could talk the pants off anybody, but Daniel Craig making strong advances towards a widow after her late husband's funeral in Spectre is unsettling.

RELATED: 10 Things From The Bond Movies That Have Aged Poorly

We're not going to criticize anyone for their success in getting some steamy time with the ladies, but it becomes a problem if it is uncomfortable for the majority of the audience. His less than ideal treatment of women is a part of the character, but it's up to the films not rejoice in it.

6 Lord......Time Lord

Don't let the wrong fans see this one; enough people already throw around ludicrous theories about the name James Bond being a code name passed on to different agents. The last thing the series needs is a fantasy theory coming into the mix.

Bond is simply a character who does missions and sometimes goes through one story arch spanning several films. They don't all need to be connected through some flimsy half-baked theory that the movies themselves contradict. On Her Majesty's Secret Service, for example, references the events of the prior films.

5 It's An Everyman's Name

To be fair, Ian Flemming's original idea for Bond's image was a dull-looking fellow whose innocuous nature allowed him to blend in. The name was also meant to be extremely ordinary. Only after the series' popularity skyrocketed and the divinely handsome Sean Connery took on the role did the character and name become more distinguished.

RELATED: 10 Times James Bond Should Have Died

In Sean Connery's day, they didn't have the internet, so it would have been a little harder keeping track of some dude with the same name going around and foiling every villain's grandiose plans.

4 A Long Wait

When Blofeld delivers this line in Spectre it is not only directed at the agent with whom he has a childhood connection, but also at fans who were delighted to finally see the notorious villain on screen again.

Minor issues with the film and plot aside, Christoph Waltz's portrayal of Bond's greatest nemesis was spot on. All he was missing was a white cat on his lap, but even that got a small shout out during the torture scene. Let's hope this was not the last time Christoph Waltz takes on the role.

3 That About Sounds Right

Who has time for serious relationships when you're so busy avoiding deeply seated problems with alcohol that are typically brushed off with a quip? Bond can quit whenever he wants, he just really really likes it and hates dry establishments.

Not all of his decisions are bad, though; some of them are just stupid. Fortunately, it's the stupid ones, like jumping out of planes or skiing off the side of a cliff, that end up working out best for him. As of now, Bond is in an honest relationship, but it probably won't last long.

2 Jaws

It's true, even those endowed with metallic teeth have to worry about their dental hygiene. No one wants to see plaque infested, rusting choppers. It's unsightly and hardly intimidating.

RELATED: 10 Movies That Broke Their Franchise's Timeline

Jaws wants his fangs bright and shiny when they bring doom upon an unfortunate soul. Does he floss with rope, though? Maybe that's taking it too far, but who has the bravery to approach him and ask. Ironically, Richard Kiel, the actor who portrayed Jaws, was said to be highly amiable.

1 Who Had It Worse

Everybody flinched a little bit when they saw this picture. It's hard to say who had a worse time in their respective situations, but our money is on Bond.

For one, somebody else is inflicting pain, while Ben Stiller's predicament in There's Something About Mary was an accident he did to himself. Bond also gets extra points for managing to crack a few of his silver-tongued quips throughout the unbearably painful torture session. Regardless of whose day was rougher, nobody would trade places with either of them.

NEXT: 5 Reasons We're Excited For No Time To Die (And 5 Things We're Worried About)

   source https://screenrant.com/james-bond-memes-too-funny-for-words/

[weareallfictionsintheend]

Extensive Fandom List

This list includes all the fandoms I am familiar with to begin writing immediately, not ones that I would have to do /much/ extra research for. So basically, these are me playing Fic Commissions on Easy.

Manga/Anime:

Tokyo Ghoul, Ouran High School Host Club, Noragami, Black Butler, Death Note, Death Parade, Another, Hellsing Ultimate, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, xxxholic, Bleach, Danganronpa, Cells at Work, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, Library Wars, Yu-gi-oh, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion, Yuri on Ice, Soul Eater, Assassination Classroom, Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki Kun, One Punch Man, Blue Exorcist, Baccano, Durarara, Violet Evergarden, Black Lagoon, Bungou Stray Dogs, Attack on Titan, Mushishi, Shokugeki no Souma, Fairy Tail, Overlord, Black Lagoon, Yamada and the Seven Witches, Shugo Chara, Skip Beat, Two Flowers For The Dragon, Prince of Tennis. 

TV: 

Lucifer, Flash, Arrow, Once Upon A Time, Agent Carter, Gentleman Jack, London Spy, Blue Bloods, Parks and Rec, The Good Place, B99, San Junipero, Friends, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Agents of Shield, White Collar, How I Met Your Mother. 

Film:

Crimson Peak, MCU (entire MCU except Far From Home), Mary Poppins Returns, Most of Disney’s filmography, The Emperor’s New Groove, Megamind, Only You, Maleficent, Kong: Skull Island, Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, Howl’s Moving Castle, Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse, Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins Returns, Sound of Music, Wizard of Oz, Rear Window, Blues Brothers, Princess Bride, Carol, Ghostbusters.

Literature: 

Warrior Cats, Bartimaeus Chronicles, The Alchemist Chronicles, Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, Ranger’s Apprentice, Lord of the Rings, The Great Gatsby, Tale of Two Cities, Obernewtyn Chronicles, Mistborn, Keys to the Kingdom, The Seventh Tower, Leviathan, Uglies, Downsiders, Juliet Immortal, Bruiser, Cinder, Red Queen, The Wednesday Wars, A Mango-Shaped Space, Uprooted, Hunger Games, Heist Society, I’d Tell You I Love You But Then I’d Have To Kill You, Matched, The Selection. 

Musicals: 

Sound of Music, Hamilton, Heathers, Be More Chill, Wicked, Singin’ in the Rain, Chicago, Rent, Kinky Boots, Fiddler on the Roof, Music Man, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Anything Goes. 

[funface2]

10 James Bond Memes Too Funny For Words | ScreenRant – Screen Rant

Suave spy James Bond is one of cinema’s most iconic characters. For more than fifty years the British spy has been delighting audiences, whether it be with the serious films in the series like On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, or the sillier fares like Man With the Golden Gun or Moonraker.

When something is such a pop-culture staple, one can bet their bottom dollar that they are a prime candidate for memes, and the internet has answered the call. The following ten memes are the funniest ones out there about the sometimes dark, sometimes lighthearted, but always dashingly handsome and suave MI-6 agent.

Continue scrolling to keep reading

Click the button below to start this article in quick view

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10 License To Overkill

Everybody has thought about extinguishing unwanted house guests in such a fashion at least once in their life. Bond is the only one with the stones to actually go through with it. It’s just unfortunate he does it to house spiders since they are typically a welcome presence.

RELATED: James Bond’s 10 Most Brutal Kills, Ranked

If it were cockroaches or a trail of ants, then fire away, but spiders help exterminate other pests that make their way into a home. Still, few people can handle a homemade flamethrower with the same immaculate style as Roger Moore’s Bond.

9 YOLT

You only live once (or the abbreviated YOLO) was an unbearably popular phrase about ten years ago. The usage has since died down, but ghosts of its popularity still haunt classrooms and sitcom reruns from that era. Bond was ahead of the curve by more than forty years and bolder in his stance.

RELATED: 10 Things We Want From No Time To Die

Who needs one life when you can have two? At this point, 007 has more like six lives, and will probably be getting a seventh after No Time to Die comes out. Additionally, no song about YOLO comes anywhere near Nancy Sinatra’s You Only Live Twice, not even the Lonely Island’s comedic interpretation of the fad.

8 Sean Bean

Sean Bean’s status as a popular meme ensures that even though his characters often die, they will live on in the pop culture’s collective consciousness. This parody of another popular meme is especially poignant coming from a character Bond thought died right in front of his eyes, yet came back years later as a villain.

Those who have seen Goldeneye know: like most other Sean Bean characters, Trevelyan bites it by the end of the film.

7 Questionable Ethics

Depending on the situation, this classic Bond trope falls anywhere between unbelievably suave and undeniably creepy. Roger Moore could talk the pants off anybody, but Daniel Craig making strong advances towards a widow after her late husband’s funeral in Spectre is unsettling.

RELATED: 10 Things From The Bond Movies That Have Aged Poorly

We’re not going to criticize anyone for their success in getting some steamy time with the ladies, but it becomes a problem if it is uncomfortable for the majority of the audience. His less than ideal treatment of women is a part of the character, but it’s up to the films not rejoice in it.

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6 Lord……Time Lord

Don’t let the wrong fans see this one; enough people already throw around ludicrous theories about the name James Bond being a code name passed on to different agents. The last thing the series needs is a fantasy theory coming into the mix.

Bond is simply a character who does missions and sometimes goes through one story arch spanning several films. They don’t all need to be connected through some flimsy half-baked theory that the movies themselves contradict. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, for example, references the events of the prior films.

5 It’s An Everyman’s Name

To be fair, Ian Flemming’s original idea for Bond’s image was a dull-looking fellow whose innocuous nature allowed him to blend in. The name was also meant to be extremely ordinary. Only after the series’ popularity skyrocketed and the divinely handsome Sean Connery took on the role did the character and name become more distinguished.

RELATED: 10 Times James Bond Should Have Died

In Sean Connery’s day, they didn’t have the internet, so it would have been a little harder keeping track of some dude with the same name going around and foiling every villain’s grandiose plans.

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4 A Long Wait

When Blofeld delivers this line in Spectre it is not only directed at the agent with whom he has a childhood connection, but also at fans who were delighted to finally see the notorious villain on screen again.

Minor issues with the film and plot aside, Christoph Waltz’s portrayal of Bond’s greatest nemesis was spot on. All he was missing was a white cat on his lap, but even that got a small shout out during the torture scene. Let’s hope this was not the last time Christoph Waltz takes on the role.

3 That About Sounds Right

Who has time for serious relationships when you’re so busy avoiding deeply seated problems with alcohol that are typically brushed off with a quip? Bond can quit whenever he wants, he just really really likes it and hates dry establishments.

Not all of his decisions are bad, though; some of them are just stupid. Fortunately, it’s the stupid ones, like jumping out of planes or skiing off the side of a cliff, that end up working out best for him. As of now, Bond is in an honest relationship, but it probably won’t last long.

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2 Jaws

It’s true, even those endowed with metallic teeth have to worry about their dental hygiene. No one wants to see plaque infested, rusting choppers. It’s unsightly and hardly intimidating.

RELATED: 10 Movies That Broke Their Franchise’s Timeline

Jaws wants his fangs bright and shiny when they bring doom upon an unfortunate soul. Does he floss with rope, though? Maybe that’s taking it too far, but who has the bravery to approach him and ask. Ironically, Richard Kiel, the actor who portrayed Jaws, was said to be highly amiable.

1 Who Had It Worse

Everybody flinched a little bit when they saw this picture. It’s hard to say who had a worse time in their respective situations, but our money is on Bond.

For one, somebody else is inflicting pain, while Ben Stiller’s predicament in There’s Something About Mary was an accident he did to himself. Bond also gets extra points for managing to crack a few of his silver-tongued quips throughout the unbearably painful torture session. Regardless of whose day was rougher, nobody would trade places with either of them.

NEXT: 5 Reasons We’re Excited For No Time To Die (And 5 Things We’re Worried About)

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Bài viết 10 James Bond Memes Too Funny For Words | ScreenRant – Screen Rant đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

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