#why would

[kalied0skull]

sometimes it's smart to read labels, because apparently my dumbass doesn't

i see the words "sour, warheads" i get so damn excited i pick that shit up and run off to checkout with it

come a day later when i actually eat it only to discover it's not fucking sour ☹️

i look back at the packaging

you wanna know WHAT IT IS SAYS?

"not so SOUR PUNCH sweet bites!”

I didn't BOTHER to look at the other words, i just wanted sour candy and i got DECIEEEEVED

[bongbozo]

Tyler Joseph: I have seemed to run out of excuses of why i am this way

everyone on planet earth

the moment this lyric hit:

[askingtroybarnes]

Hey Troy,

You keep saying that you like butt stuff, but also you insist on not liking dick (Sorry Shirley. If you read this, scroll past it now).

So what kind of butt stuff? Just with toys? How is that different from liking dick?

Just curious, not at all trying to prove something here

WHAT HAPPENED TO “HELLO”

[80s-reject]

i am Not linking s4 of tua

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

being called "cringe" by another tumblr user is just so..............my sibling in christ u are also on the app

[sadclowncentral]

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

[veliseraptor]

the weird schrödinger's emotion that is "that character death was narratively satisfying and emotionally impactful and ultimately the best way to handle their character arc" simultaneously with "noooo but I wanted them to live :( :( :("

[pocketdogs]

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

[batsandbirdsandothers]

Inspired by this post - Jason and Duke having glowy eyes and freaking Bruce out

Bruce: Have kids, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. I thought I was gonna shit my pants.

Dick: But they’re so adorable, aren’t they?

Bruce: Unfortunately yes.

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)

[roz-ani]

NOT MY ENEMIES TO LOVERS

GIVE THEM BACK TO MEEEEE 😭😭😭

[goomyloid]

The remorseful player

[arcanefanpage]

SHE’S ALIVE!! I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL! THE AIRSHIP AT THE END!!! THE GLITCHY END CREDITS!! THE AIR VENTS!!! THE GLITCH! CAITLYN’S SMIRK AT THE END!!!

[thatonedudeinthecorner]

“Why was hiccup wearing lipstick?” Mind your business

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again