#wizard flow

[heckeronincheese]

Wizard Flow

Smoking on that dragon scale fent

Got me speaking in ancient tongues at the drive thru.

Amateur sorcerers pondering their orbs and scrying tablets

I'm fuckin over here pondering my bricks and bands. Merlin ain't got shit on me

He forgot I'm him.

This Zaza has me speaking elvish

Pack of level one goblins tried to run off with my percs smoked their silly green asses with the god particle on my hip

Fought off 50 crack fueled Orcs for the last pint of top shelf tavern fent at the town center.

King called me in for a prophecy of his heroic battle. Told that fuck boi to prophesise deez nuts

Haha

This shit ain't nothing to me man

Fought off a dragon with a fifth of henny and a great sword from temu

Get off me broke boi

The high council must've casted grand amnesia cus they forgot him

I've always been him

Sent That lil potter bitch boy to the shadow realm with my dark elf garbanzo pack

Lil shit had no idea what hit em.

Got more inches on me than a tower of dwarves.

This Zaza has me speaking esoteric horrors beyond comprehension while trying to order a bacon egg n cheese.

Were smoking indigenous elvish fronto leaf off a bottle of mead you stupid piece of shit.

Knights tried to run up on my tower

Smited that tin can fuck with my Balenciaga staff.

This shit ain't nothing to me man

The townsfolk needed a powerful potion

Gave those poor saps a fourloko and some fine middle earth crack and said sort it the fuck out.

Turned my scribe into a rat for touching my Gucci robes

My humonculus be hitting that fat dragon cum dark ranger pack blunt in his jar

Poor fucker found a new religion

The paladin shat himself when checking his scripture.

Bard was talking shit so I casted mend buttcrack on his goofy ass.

I've been flipping bricks before yall entered the third era.

Only dressing my mutton in demon tears

Just so I can feel something slime.

Ops needed initiative

Casted magic missile on their whole quadrant

Movin like Nicholas flamel

This emerald ogre taint blaster 3000 perc got me movin different

This Zaza has me moving like a fuckin cracked out water nymph.

I'm casting spells that'd make Gandalf piss,shit,cum, and most likely cry.

Casted the the spell of 45acp on this ops kneecap

Fuck off slime.

I've seen the third era

I've jerked off in the gates of oblivion for a perc. I'm an animal.

This shit ain't nothing to me man.

The orcs are back.

Fuckin astral projecting to the bodega for a 40 and a swisher

Got the switch on my wand

Smoking that dark evil wyrm blood watered druid fronto leaf out of a lich kings cod piece.

Always have been him

My staff is from H&K get on my level

Goblins had no idea what hit em

Haha.

This shit ain't nothing to me man....

[ultravioletbrit]

“share” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 376 words

James is just about to leave Regulus’ flat, but Regulus stops him just as he reaches the front door. “Wait. What’s in that bag?” Regulus asks when James picks up a duffle bag that Regulus hadn’t noticed sitting by the door.   

“Nothing.” James answers awkwardly as he tries, and fails, to hide the large duffel bag behind his back.

“James...?” Regulus says slowly as he walks over to him. Regulus takes the bag from James and gasps when he opens it. “My sweatshirts!” He yelps. “Why are you stealing all my sweatshirts?”

“Your sweatshirts?”

“Fine, our sweatshirts.” Regulus corrects himself and James raises an eyebrow. “They’re not our sweatshirts?” Regulus asks with a little pout. “We share them so doesn’t that make them ours?”  

James takes the bag from Regulus and puts it on the floor so he can wrap his arms around Regulus’ waist. “Sharing implies that we both get to wear them, love. You steal them, and I don’t see them again until I run out and I have to sneak in here and take them all back. Then we start the whole process over again.”

Regulus blinks at James a few times. “You…? But I…?” Regulus fumble the huffs. “How long have you been doing that?”  

“How long have we been dating?” James smiles sweetly.

Regulus gives James another small huff with a little pout but after a moment something flashes across Regulus’ eyes and he narrows them at James.

“Do you wear them when you take them back?” Regulus asks.

“Yeah…?”

“So, we both wear them. Doesn’t that imply that we share them?” Regulus asks with a little smirk.

“I… But you…” James fumbles his words then huffs. “I guess we share the sweatshirts.” He says with a resigned sigh.

“Our sweatshirts.” Regulus corrects him.

“Our sweatshirts.” James agrees with a fond eye roll. He leans in to give Regulus a quick kiss before he picks up the bag.     

“Wait.” Regulus puts his hand on James’ to stop him. “Can I just keep one of them?” He asks in a shy voice as his cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink. “I like to umm… sometimes I…”

James smiles and leans in for another kiss. “I always leave you the one you keep under your pillow.” James whispers.

[invinciblevalentine]

reeve tuesti is forever and always the most character of all time. he’s a kidnapper. he’s a head of a corporate division. he’s got six prescriptions on him at all times. he’s a furry. he’s an engineer. he’s got a guilty conscience the likes of which catholics DREAM of. he’s scottish. as soon as there was no more dress code he immediately started dressing in wizard robes. he builds robot copies of himself piloted by his furry OC. live laugh reeve!

[strangelittlestories]

The wizard sat in the cell. Their hands were bound in iron. Glyphs glowed on the ceiling, their light filled her with fizzing energy. She hadn't slept in some time.

Fine, they could take her books and her staff. They could deny her knowledge and rest. She had done her best work in the college insomniac and resource starved. She had remade herself with sacred alchemy and experimental thoughtcraft while running on nothing but tea and firefly-root. She could work this problem.

She went over her defense in her head one more time.

“Your honour, in my time bearing the staff I have done many things. I have plundered the heavens for their secrets. I have given monarchs prophecies I knew they would try to escape and, in doing so, wreck themselves. They deserved to get wrecked. But your honour-”

[If you want, we can start now.]

“Pardon me?”

The voice had come from all around her. It resonated through the walls, rattled her chains and her bones. It sang in her blood.

[My apologies for the interruption. You can go on if you like? But it seems you have your arguments well rehearsed already.]

“I have always been… thorough.”

[It is good to be thorough. You should give all your endeavours Due Process.]

The voice was all-encompassing, all-surrounding, a ‘words etched in granite’ sort of voice. But it also almost seemed kind. Or, if not kind, then *thoughtful*.

“Oh heck it, let's get this over with.” The wizard looked up, trying to look the voice in the face even though it had none. “Do we not need a jury or something?”

[No. It has been deemed that your words could be, well, corruptive. Sorry to be so blunt. I shall be your sole judgement. And your ‘soul’ judgement, come to that.]

The wizard was used to peering through the veil to see hidden truths. It was something of an effort to *listen* through the veil instead, but the principle was the same. What they heard was an echo of something gentle but unyielding, something soft but with the weight of mountains behind it.

“First, tell me which god you are.”

[You *are* quick on the uptake. They said you would be. I am Arbiter. I manage the discourse between what is and what is not. I oversee the conversation between consensus and individual. I listen to what agreements have been made and I judge when they have been broken.]

“Second, tell me what I am accused of.”

[You stand accused - or sit accused, I suppose - of breaking the laws of reality.]

“Any in particular?”

[Oh, tons. Gravity. Causality. Probability. Conservation of energy. One one weird one about things going wrong. You name it, you probably broke it.]

“And who wrote these laws? What court or nation drew them up?”

[No mortal court did this.]

“A divine one then?”

[No gods, either. Some of us gods made the planet you live on, some of us made you, but reality’s laws are fundamentally an aspect of Truth. And Truth is an altogether different entity. If it can be an entity at all.]

“Fascinating.” The wizard felt her mind run off in a dozen different directions at the implication of this. She wrenched it back on track. “So Truth is putting me on trial?”

[Philosophers are putting you on trial. They call themselves Absolutists. They hold that acts of magic that bend or break reality are damaging to the Inferred Axioms.]

“So … all magic, then?”

[I am afraid so.]

“If it runs counter to axiomatic truths, then why is magic even possible? Surely, if it can reliably act on the world, it is a fundamental force of reality like any other?”

[This is your defense?]

“This is curiosity.” The wizard clinked their chains in frustration. She wished she could draw upon the walls.

[It is not like other forces, however. Its rules change. Its conventions vary across lands and are inconsistent with each other. It is a trick of Perspective, which does not always get along with Truth, for Perspective plays sleight of hand with the universe. It makes things true just by getting you to look at things the right way for long enough.]

“Alright, here’s my defense.” The wizard let out a deep breath and focused on a spot on the wall and imagined that patch of stone to be the face of Arbiter. Thus, looking the god in the face, the wizard continued, “Screw you.”

[This defense is… unconventional.]

“Listen, buddy. Your honour. Your honoured buddy.” The wizard drew up her shoulders and prepared herself to really go off on one. “You seem like a nice god. But, ultimately, all gods are servants. That’s not a bad thing! Acts of service are beautiful. Sadly, the people you’re serving are assholes and, what’s worse, I think you know that. But you’re so wrapped up in the nobility and importance of your purpose that you don’t seem to care what side you actually end up on or who is standing beside you. And that means you’re not really a servant, you’re a *lackey*.

“It’d be easy to shrug that off and say, oh well, can’t really blame Arbiter, can I? Gods are just like that. But I *have* to believe it’s not that simple. I must believe that you can change and you can choose. And maybe that goes against some divine law or axiom, but baby, I guess I’m just prone to *magical thinking*.

“And it galls me. It does, it galls me, that of all the many things I’ve done… what actually gets me convicted may well be something I *am*. Because if magic is just a way of thinking things might be different, then getting reality itself to - even if just for a moment - see it your way? Then, honoured buddy, I am magic down to the last mote of me.

“The laws of reality? What does that even mean? They’re not laws, not really. They’re just things that *are*. I don’t give a single toot about things that just are. I have no time at all for things that are only ever one thing. I care about what *can* be. And you, my friend, *can* screw off.”

[Unfortunate. If you will not make a proper defense, the philosophers will keep you here indefinitely, so as to limit your impact on reality. They would kill you, but they are scared about ghosts.]

“Then I guess I’ll just have to try and outlive them. Heck, maybe I’ll outlive you too.”

[They are an entire people. And I am eternal.]

“So I guess it’s a longshot, huh?” The wizard spat a thick gob of saliva at the part of the wall where she imagined Arbiter’s face. “Well, I guess I’m pretty comfortable with a longshot.”

---

Enjoy my writing? Please consider supporting my latest creative endeavour, Poor Life Choices. Currently crowdfunding for a run at the Edinburgh Fringe! https://igg.me/at/poorlifechoices/x#/

[lulublack90]

Prompt 2 - Ricusempra

@wolfstarmicrofic April 2, word count 618

“Right class we will be learning a new spell today. Nothing too difficult, I promise you,” Professor Flitwick assured after moans from the class. Most of them had only just managed to cast Wingardium Leviosa correctly. 

“Don’t see why we can’t do something difficult,” Sirius whispered to him as Professor Flitwick went on. 

“Speak for yourself,” Remus muttered back. He’d really struggled with Wingardium Leviosa, the same with his other lessons. He could feel the magic but didn’t seem to be able to access it properly. It was always a chore to call upon it. On the other hand, Sirius’s magic flowed like water. It was never far away when Sirius needed it and every spell came as naturally as breathing to him. 

“Okay class, each of you pair up and try the spell out on each other. Remember the nice curving motion,” as Remus was sitting next to Sirius today, so they paired up. The four of them tried to rotate so they all got a chance to sit with each other. Remus checked the blackboard behind Professor Flitwick and practised the wand moment a few times. He nodded to himself once he was sure he had it. 

“Ready?” Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. 

They found an empty space in the classroom and raised their wands. 

“You go first,” Remus told Sirius. He was nervous. Sirius twirled his wand.

“Rictusempra,” he cried, and Remus began laughing as invisible feathers tickled his skin. He bent forward, gasping, waiting for the spell to end. “Right, your turn,” Sirius grinned once Remus could stand up straight again. Remus took a deep breath, steeling himself. 

“Rictusempra,” he chanted. He could feel the magic right there, but something was blocking it and only a trickle fought its way out. Sirius rolled his shoulders, slightly uncomfortable. 

“Was that it?” He asked and Remus felt his cheeks heating. Sirius smiled at him and came to stand behind him. “Hey, Potter, come be my stand-in,” James immediately moved to the spot Sirius had been in and stood waiting. 

Remus flinched as Sirius’s hands ran down his arms to hold his wrists. “Like this, Remus,” and he lifted Remus’s wand arm, swishing his wand through the air. “This time say the incantation,” His breath tickled the tiny hairs on the back of Remus’s neck, and he felt a shock of something jolt through him. Sirius raised his hand and began to move it. 

“Rictusempra!” he shouted. He was expecting the usual slug of magic, but the rush of power he felt coursing through him was unlike anything he’d felt before. The floodgates had well and truly been opened. His hand spasmed with the amount of magic sliding down his wand. James fell to the floor in howls of laughter. 

“R-r-r-remus! S-s-s-stop! He gasped around his laughs. 

“Well done, Mr Lupin. Very powerful casting. Ten points to Gryffindor. Finite incantartum,” Flitwick squeaked as he ended the spell for James’s sake. 

“That was amazing, Remus,” Sirius said, still holding his wrists. Remus looked down at his trembling hands. Had Sirius done that? Why had his magic released now? He waited until Sirius had let him to go make fun of James and pointed his wand at his textbook. 

“Wingardium Leviosa,” His magic shot through him again and his book bounced off the ceiling. He stared at it in awe, realising he’d need to practice controlling this newfound power, or he was likely to take someone's head off. He grinned as James bent over double when he was supposed to be the one casting the spell on Peter, but Sirius had got to him first. He grinned. School had just got a hell of a lot easier. 

[god-i-hate-shakespear]

We getting Magical up in this shit. Smoking that wizard zaza. This shit ain't nothing to me man. I looked Medusa in the eyes, the only part of me rock was my dick. They call me Sorcerer the way I'm casting fireballs in my bong. Smoking that Halfling Weed out of a unicorn's horn. This shit ain't nothing to me man. That bush so big call it the enchanted forest. The king tried to kill me so I did his wife, and taught his kid how to fight a dragon. Try getting that bonding experience back, bitch. On that wizard HRT, call my ass Magic Michelle. Moving like the plague cause I'm sick on the dance floor. This shit ain't nothing to me man. I be on that orc ketamine style. I'm on that elvish shit. That fuckin dwarfstyle crossfade.

[starry-bi-sky]

dnd oc idea where a pair of sisters are also a pair of swan maidens. One of whom is on a quest to retrieve her stolen feather coat while the other comes along to help. The one with her missing coat is your stereotypical high femme swan princess archetype, with the Old School Disney Princess voice and flowing long hair and high and dainty features. Her sister on the other hand, is a butch lesbian, and tends to stay in her swan form 90% of the time.

the high femme swan princess is a monk, while her beloved sister is a wizard.

[petrodragonicapocalypse]

[bartholomewillustrated]

It's actually required by law that the more powerful you are as an evil sorcerer the more nude you have to be and Urlac is like the Most powerful guy around so...

~Lore under the cut!!~

Born third of the three brothers Urlac was gifted with with great knowledge and control of magic, spellcraft, and sorcery by The Heart of The Underworld. But where both Dreor and Auriel, his brothers, accepted their gifts with grace and humble reverance; Urlac saw the true depth and breadth of his abilities and knew himself to be more Powerful and Important than anything the heart had called him for.

While for a time he aligned himself with his older siblings, trying to teach and lead the new-formed kingdoms of the underworld, it would not last. He was vain and self righteous, and cared not for the needs of his people. He treated them with callousness and cruelty, which he seemed to take great joy in and surrounded himself with a court of powerful wizards and war-mongers, with whom he shared his knowledge of the secret darkest corners of magic.

As his power and influence grew, as did the darkness in his heart, until his brothers could abide to sit by and watch him slowly destroy their world no longer and pushed back against the sorcerer and his Vile Court.

Urlac was driven out of the underworld along with his most loyal followers, into the wastes of Nowhere, where he established his own kingdom and took to plotting his older brothers downfall.

The war he started lasted many dark and painful years, and only ended when Auriel landed Urlac a shocking fatal blow, and fracturing the Heart of the Underworld.

As the Underworld began the slow quiet process of rebuilding, the few of Urlac's servants and followers who remainded and evaded capture began to plot, they had their own rebuilding to do.

In the end it was only Ogrel, one of Urlacs closest advisors, strong in the necromantic arts, who was able to carry out their plans and bring Urlac's rotting corpse back to the Kingdom in Nowhere. Where he used the base of one of Urlac's own spells (the very same that had gicen Urlac his daughter Nenna) to begin the slow and meticulous process of restoring his master's body, mind, and spirit from the grave.

It was to be many ages before Urlac was ready to return, but with certainty Ogrel knew that his master's power will only have grown and his desire to enact revenge on his brothers and take the Underworld for himself would propel them forward into a new age... If only it weren't for the emerging rumours of a princess, the youngest daughter of Dreor, who was out roaming the Underworld under guidance of prophecy, trying to bring an end to the process before it's even begun....

[charmfamily]

CORVUS CROSSING: A CHARM FAMILY STORY. CHAPTER I  "BOY, YOU'LL BE A MAN REAL SOON." PART I. Transcript Beneath the Cut.

From "THE EBBEARATH EVENING STANDARD" Sunday Edition; January 26, 2020.

CONTROVERSIAL REALM REUNIFICATION RITUAL DECLARED HISTORIC SUCCESS

By Senior Arcane Reporter Dominic Fyres

Article Photo Caption: The Council of Four Corners in front of the newly recommissioned Ebbearath Institute of Magic. January 26, 2020. Left to Right: High Sage of Mischief Olive Specter, High Sage of Untamed Magic Morgyn Ember, High Sage of Alchemical Magic Simeon Silversweater, and High Sage of Practical Magic Agnes Crumplebottom.

EBBEARATH — "After 800 years of magical advancement, an ever-expanding catalog of history-altering achievements in all Four Disciplines of Arcana, countless hours of spellcrafting and tireless magical workings, and most especially, the dedicated assistance of every member within the Most High Covens, The Council of Four Corners is ecstatic to report that the Realm of Ebbearath is once again whole and fully restored."

On Sunday, January 26, 2020 at 3:58 A.M. Caster Standard Time, the Council of Four Corners in an official press release declared their latest and final attempt at performing the Realm Reunification and Restoration Ritual successful and, at long last, completed. Sources from inside the Ebbearath Institute of Magic who work closely with the High Sages confirm speculative rumors that even for the uppermost echelon of casters that have been bestowed immortality, attempts to perform the Great Reunification Working are so complex and such an intense drain of universal magical resources that the ritual has only ever been performed twice before in recorded history: Once in 1918, and once in the summer of 1346.

 "Apparently," the source that wishes to remain anonymous is quoted as saying, "the third time was the charm — we did it. By the blessing of the Fates, we have a home again."

As the Diaspora Arcana is called to return to Ebbearath to establish a foundational population for the capitol and with celebrations commencing worldwide in the early hours of the morning, few voices have been heard expressing any form of dissent. The Arcane Committee of Magical Ethics however released their own statement informing the public that the ritual had been performed without their blessing, consent, or knowledge. 

"Essentially, the Reunification Working operates by harvesting the negative forces holding the broken pieces of Ebbearath hostage and sending that energy somewhere else," Ethics Committee Chairman Dennis Kim states in a press release. "We have no idea where it's being sent or what the implications of such spellwork really means. For all we know, it may have devastating, potentially cataclysmic, consequences in some parallel realm or universe."

Countering the argument posed by the Ethics Committee, High Sage of Alchemy Simeon Silversweater had this to say in response: "The potential ramifications of forcing Ebbearath's negative energy into other planes of existence is precisely why the Working was performed in stages with lengthy periods of rest in between. We've meted out any potential damage as responsibly as possible — what does Chairman Kim propose? That we allow our realm to remain broken another 800 years just to potentially preserve some universe we don't even live in? He's asking us to sacrifice the good of our realm and drain our magical resources for some hypothetical greater good, which is idiotic."

"What High Sage Silversweater means," High Sage Morgyn Ember clarified in a Babble post, "is that magic itself would inevitably go extinct in as little as half a century and disappear from this realm if we did not act swiftly and decisively to perform the last stage of the ritual. We no longer have the luxury of time that would allow the continual sacrifice of our people and the timeline was unfortunately decided for us."

"The Council of Four Corners are of course in agreement that the Ethics Committee has every right to be skeptical and we remain indebted in gratitude that they continue to provide us with their invaluable insight; but until we know what exactly those ramifications Chairman Kim is worried about are," High Sage Olive Specter added on her own Babble Post, "we will remain cautiously optimistic that this has worked out for the betterment of all. We shall send our most heartfelt sentiments and prayers to denizens of other universes in the meantime."

[times-are-always-dire]

the fucking. AUDACITY. brennan and aabria have to make me deal with THIS MANY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW.

warning: major spoilers for wbn (wwwo episode 442) below the cut

you're telling me that just under a year after i break up with the person i thought was the love of my life, because he decided to move across the damn continent to join the united states fucking military, brennan lee fucking mulligan pulls THIS SHIT?!?

you're telling me that brennan has Silver saying to Suvi: "I don't know how you can keep a clear head with all of that attachment. I'm grateful that I have not had [the burden of] that."

and then ending the conversation with "Above my pay grade. Doesn't make sense to me."

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY??!?!?!!?! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE FINE AND NORMAL AND EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND ABLE TO GO ABOUT MY DAY after he drops this BOMB of a statement about how easily nationalism and propaganda can annihilate people's humanity ???!!??!?!

me, who is STILL reeling from the breakup and confusion of how someone i loved so fucking much could be faced with a military lifestyle and see only honor and glory in it despite KNOWING, having EXPERIENCED HIMSELF how dehumanizing it can be?!? I'M supposed to be fine?!?!

[zedtae]

🌄

imagine, if you will, a lamp,

[veevian2796]

I've contracted a wizard to put a spell of protection on me and my loved ones 

You will never bring harm to us ever again

[honeyxmonkey]

Hobie: So how's life been treatin you?

Douxie: fought a couple of gods. My dad died. Can't complain

Hobie, nodding: mood

The other spider kids: YOU FOUGHT GOD???

[2137gej]

Was it just me or did the cat in Flow give off massive Regulus vibes?

(The trauma, the lonelyness, the sass. The slowly overcoming your trauma and unhealthy style of life you are used to, not by changing yourself but by learning to live with other people who care about you and to let them in with trust and love)

[slothquisitor]

Sketch practice from tonight.