Me: [sees everyone talking about how Assad Zaman was "literally" coming up with RPF about himself and Eric Bogosian in an interview]
Me: ah, fandom's doing its little "interpret an innocent comment in Some Kind Of Way" thing again, let's go find the video and do our own critical thinking about what was actually said here--
Assad: What would happen if I said-- [words that cannot be interpreted as anything but RPF fanfic]
Me:
Me: ok fandom gets a pass on this one actually
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Louis is such a Catholic good girl btw. Gets courted by a wealthy gentleman for months before they even kiss. Married in a church. Gets himself a precious baby daughter because he’s been dreaming of that perfect family since he was a little girl. Loyal to his man not even multiple deaths can separate them. Says Hail Mary like fifty billion times to cancel out the anal sex he keeps pretending he didn’t enjoy but also calls that dick his personal black tar heroin. Gonna lie to everybody he meets including himself. Feels guilt for a century about things that weren’t his fault but also kinda doesn’t give a shit about the things he did do. God’s gonna see him through <3
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arthur has always been suspicious of the tavern excuse for merlin’s absences, but he has no proof on the contrary and when confronted merlin either tells him outlandish tales of near death experiences that have no chance of being remotely truthful or he admits to and apologizes for slacking on his duties to get drunk. one day, he decides enough is enough and he and all the knights go to the tavern with merlin and arthur casually brings up merlin’s history in the tavern and says he could probably beat gwaine in a drinking contest. merlin tries to divert the discussion away from the idea but arthur is determined. they receive a round of drinks and arthur pushes a pint of ale into merlin’s hands with a look of challenge. merlin’s options are to either commit to the lie to hide his secret or admit to the lie and risk exposing his magic. he takes the former. merlin gives lancelot a Look and then slams back the pint of ale with a minor bit of gagging and pauses to breath. gwaine already finished his pint thirty seconds ago but its entertaining to watch merlin so he doesn’t say anything.
merlin (built like a twig, rarely drinks, lightweight) is proper sloshed. arthur is almost vindicated but he needs merlin to admit it. he orders two more pints and gives one to gwaine and the second to merlin, instigating the competition further despite the fact that gwaine won already. merlin grimaces and tries to do the same thing again but only gets a few gulps in before he folds. he slams the mug down and gives arthur a kicked puppy look before admitting and apologizing for lying. arthur is Vindicated. merlin is still wasted.
the nights wears on and merlin feels the effect of the ale more and more every minute that passes. he sits between arthur and lancelot and feels almost unbearably warm but that could be bc of the alcohol in his system, or the crowded tavern. merlin looks around and watches the people that pass their table by while the knights talk and joke and laugh amongst themselves. merlin feels relaxed and excitable now, his worries seem to have melted away and he cant seem to remember why he was always so stressed and worn down before. he sees a game of [insert game here] (i was gonna say darts but google says that game hasn’t been invented in canon time so ill leave it up to interpretation) going on and climbs over lancelot to join in.
the knights watch with amusement and anticipate merlin’s clumsy attempts at [whatever]. oddly enough tho, merlin is a fucking god at [game]. a small crowd gathers and betting pools form and then challengers approach and put money on the line to go against merlin and merlin absolutely demolishes them all. honestly if arthur didn’t know any better, he’d think merlin was using magic to win bc there was no way his bumbling fool of a servant was that good at…anything.
the challengers take their defeat with honor and grace. the audience is a huge fan of merlin and they keep buying him drinks but he just sends them to the table for the other’s to drink. many people come up to him and flirt, maybe motivated by all the money he won that night or maybe just bc he’s merlin, and when merlin responds to them he’s………..he’s a real good fucking flirt? like could put gwaine to shame and he’s rejecting them???? how can someone come across so flirtatiously while turning down offers to take various beautiful people to bed??
arthur was already itching to intervene when people were flirting with merlin but he seemed to have a handle on it so he let it slide, but then people started touching merlin and arthur’s hand had drifted to his hip where his sword was usually sheathed. however, again, merlin was very skilled at escaping the situations with little to no conflict and he came back to the table with his winnings. the knights cheer for him and order more drinks with his money which merlin is too inebriated to notice and truthfully doesn’t really care about. his eyes are on arthur and if arthur thought watching merlin flirt from afar was bad then having him up close in his personal space, hands brushing against his arms and dark eyelashes fluttering softly against his pale skin, breathing his name into the space between them and licking his full pink lips was absolute torture and the worst and best agony he couldn’t even dream up.
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Yes, I, too, will attack the Emperor and betray him deeply
By "attack him" and "betray him deeply" I am, of course, referring to the fact that I shall kiss him and we will then proceed to be evil together
As we should
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Imagine if the show decided to juxtapose Buddie's first kiss with the BuckTommy kiss with how Eddie initiates it compared to how Tommy initiated it.
When Tommy kissed Buck, he did it while Buck was rambling but not before staring at him with this stone expression that gave the impression that he kissed Buck just to get him to be quiet.
Imagine the same scenario for the Buddie kiss.
Buck is rambling on about something but instead of looking on with a serious face, Eddie is just staring at him with a fond smile and he either waits for Buck to stop talking before he leans in or he gently interrupts Buck mid-sentence and when Buck asks why, he just stares at him for another second before leaning in to kiss him.
Bonus points if Eddie pulls away and Buck is shook, but immediately overcomes it and leans back in for another smooch.
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i love nash hawthorne so much its so crazy.
" 'Course not, darlin', " FUCK. MEEEEEEEEEE
he's so so so hot the way he's so gentle and caring and so protective YOU JUST HAVE TO READ THE SERIES TO GET ME
his southern drawl is SO hot and his idgaf agenda but he cares so much actually AND HIS COWBOY HAT AND BOOTS OH MY GOD IM FAINTING and when he gets mad his southern drawl becomes sharper and and and and
"'Nash, I've taken the liberty of cueing up the Taylor Swift for you,' Xander says." JUST AS I THOUGHT THIS MAN COULD NOT GET HOTTER.......
"she gazed up at him like he had hung the moon" me too, mellie, me too
"Nash has a sort of savior complex" well he better use it to save me ASAP
team jameson this team grayson that GIVE ME NASH HAWTHORNE
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"Oh don't change the gender of Benedict's love interest! Sophie should be a girl!!!" Just because you are Annoying I hope Shonda makes him a man and I hope they get suuuuuper lovey dovey and gay with ZERO side plots. I hope Benedict gets a husband. I hope his queerness changes the entire narrative and they have to rewrite the start of Hyacinth's (?) love story because of it. Fuck you.
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
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