#yes a toddler has been drawing all this

[bobbinalong]

art vs artist :)

[vixensbrainrotts]

TR men reacting to little kids wooing you

Content: reactions

Tropes: established relationship

Warnings: none (lmk if im wrong)

Summary: A little boy, perhaps four or five of age comes waddling over to you two whilst you're out on a date together and offers you a flower, confessing his spontaneous love for you. How does your man react to that?

Vixen’s two cents: hi! This has been sitting in my drafts forever so i need to get it out cause it’s collecting cobwebs. It’s sort of a random idea but whatever, i found it entertaining. Also im editing this in the car and its giving me a stroke why is the road so fucking uneven? If you have any ideas for me to write please please please my requests ans messages are open! Yeah, let me know if there are any other characters that fit those types and enjoy!

(Takemichi, Chifuyu, Souya, Hakkai, Shinichiro, Sanzu (I don’t care what anyone says. Shy Sanzu is forever on my agenda), Inui)

Nearly deceased type, it took him so long to get you. How HOW is this little ass kid wooing you better than he could ever dream of? What the actual fuck was happening? He couldn’t believe his eyes when that actual toddler came up to you with a flower, the stem freshly plucked, and a glimmer in the kid‘s hopeful eyes. The boy had almost serenaded you the way he sang praises to you: „excuse me miss, you’re really pretty! Would you accept my flower please?“. And what was even more unbelievable, was when you giggled and accepted the flower giddily. Then the little boy crossed the line: „can I have a kiss in return Miss?“. And you did. You pecked the cheek of the boy meek two minutes after meeting him! Unbelievable! It took him 3 dates to even hold your hand. Outrizzed by a five year old.

(Nahoya, Mikey, Baji)

Ready to fight the kid. He's deadass about it too, rolling up his sleeves and cracking his knuckels and snapping the kinks in his neck, looking menacingly at that poor little boy. He doesn't care that this may be the kid's first crush, he'll crush him in return. You were his damnit and he was gonna prove it to anyone who tried him. Kids included. When you pull at his arm though, prompting him to calm down, he stops a little. What do you mean you dont want him to establish his dominance? He's genuinely stumped and just kinda stares at you for a second, watching you intensely as you lean down to the boy, whispering something in his little ear and taking the flower from him. The boy giggles at you, his former horror dissipated, instead replaced with a furious blush that spread all the way down his neck and up his ears. He blew you a kiss before skipping away, giddily going back to whatever he was doing beforehand. Your boyfriend turns you around by the shoulders immediately and gives you a harmless glare. “What the fuck was that about?” But he doesn’t get a response, as you just wrap your arms around him and laugh. “You’re so cute when you’re jealous!” Well… that wasnt the answer he was looking for but he’ll take it.

(Ran, Shion, Draken, Benkei, Wakasa)

Sitting back and watching the show. He finds the little kids advances hilarious and will gladly watch the little shrimp try to win you over whilst you’re trying your hardest not to burst out laughing. “So sweets, how old are you anyway?” The boy asks you with a smirk on his face. “Too old for you.” You answer incredulously, just about ready to cry from laughter. “No no no baby, no one has to know! It can just be between the two of us and that’s fineeee!” He draws out the syllables and leans one elbow on table you and your boyfriend are sitting at. Your boyfriend all the while has probably pulled out a phone, discreetly filming the whole thing whilst leaning back and hiding his tears. You shoot both boys an amused look and then answer the awaiting kid. “Come back to me in a few years and maybe we can arrange something, yeah?” The little kids eyes widen as he looks at you with a determined smile. “Yes! You won’t regret it! And I’ll beat up your wannabe boyfie over here once I’m strong enough too!” He exclaims and runs off leaving you howling in laughter and your boyfriend, who is suddenly enraged by a child, fumes silently, sending daggers across the room. “Relax baby.” You reach a hand over the table to hold his, wiping the tears from your eyes. “Don’t touch me.” He hisses and puts the phone down, crossing his arms in fake offense.

(Hanma, Kokonoi, Izana, Rindou)

The false hope typa guy. In this case, the boy made the mistake of coming up to HIM and innocently asking for your name. “Why, you like what you see?” Your boyfriend uses language much too mature for the little kid, but he gets a timid response of “yeah, she’s real pretty..” nevertheless. Your boyfriend chuckles and pats him on the shoulder. “I say go for it, I’m sure you’ve got a chance with her!” The little boy has wide eyes and an open mouth “Really? You sure she doesn’t have some super big ‘n scary boyfriend?” He has to suppress laughter when he answers. “I’m sure she doesn’t, go talk to her, ask her for her name and tell her that I said hi too.” And with that, he’s sent the kid on his way. Your boyfriend watches him shyly go up to you and pat your leg slightly to get your attention. He watches you smile down at the little boy and talk to him, your eyes widening and laughing when you exchange a few words with the kid. When he sees fit, he comes stalking over to the two of you and wraps his arm around your waist and smirks at the kid. “Hey there.” You greet your boyfriend and turn to look at him. “Have you met—“ he guesses that you’re about to introduce him to the little boy but he doesn’t care to listen, and leans down to shush your lips with a long, over-the-top kiss, even going as far as to cracking one eye open to look at the little boys horrified face before finally pulling away. You’re a little dazed and very confused when you look down and find your little admirer gone. You throw your boyfriend an accusing look but he only raises his hands in surrender, claiming innocent with a smug smile on his face.

[aachria]

Hats make up 80% of a pirate outfit, change my mind.

Correct anatomy is for LOSERS and people with BRAINS of which I am NOT—

Me? Drawing hair with actual shapes and texture n shit? More likely than you think. But clean shading that doesn't look like a toddler finger painted it? No chance in hell.

This piece fought me. It fought me hard. I was up until 3 working on it and still didn't finish it until like ten minutes ago, and I need you to keep in mind I started working on this when I wrote the chapter at the end of June 😭 It has changed SO FUCKING MUCH and I had to completely start over at one point but GODDAMNIT IT WAS WORTH IT. RIP the 44 hours of tracked canvas time + whatever it was for the first iteration. It's fine I didn't need a life anyway.

Remember that time I said Luffy was a different flavour every time I draw him. Anywho. Big fan of Luffy and his big weird unnerving teeth, right here.

Let's not talk about Ace's dumb looking abs instead let's talk bout how that son of a bitch should have SO MANY freckles, like all the freckles, so many freckles you start to question your sanity. And you KNOW I had to hit him with the 'woe, piercings be upon ye' beam. The way I got so sad I posed him like this so I couldn't draw the tattoo or his bracelets and Log Pose but was in too deep to turn back—

You never notice just how PAPER FUCKING PALE Ed is until you put them next to someone who knows the touch of the sun, huh... And as always I'm a sucker for the rings 😌

The fucking cowboy hat has been a long time coming and I have been WAITING with baited breath for this chapter.

Anyway I love these idiots with my entire heart sure hope nothing bad happens to them—

[justaz]

somehow some time magic goes wrong and young arthurs from different points in time are pulled into king arthur era. everyone kinda has this back and forth of who is going to watch the literal 8 month old. gwen and lancelot are pretty good at taking care of him, so is percival but he doesnt seem comfortable with it so no one forces him. elyan tried to hold him but baby!arthur started wailing after three seconds. leon is sorta good but he has like no idea how babies work or what they need so when baby!arthur found his sword and almost lobbed his own head off, leon was forbidden from taking care of the child. gaius is too old and busy researching how to reverse the issue. who the HELL would trust gwaine with a child? arthur has this Odd aversion to the child but no one pushes him on it. ofc merlin, magic incarnate, has this like aura or energy that draws all these innocent woodland creatures to him so obviously little arthur is also drawn to him. in fact, merlin seems to be the person he likes the most. and merlins a natural w kids apparently so hes often the one that baby!arthur is handed off to.

he complains about it at first but when baby!arthur breaks into a fit of giggles after merlin calls adult!arthur a clotpole, he has merlin wrapped around his little finger. merlin stops complaining but does let arthur know that the one thing he Will Not Do is change his diaper. arthur laughs and walks away. merlin talks to baby!arthur like they’ve been friends for years (bc they have). arthur points out that baby!arthur cant understand him and merlin retorts that its like how it normally is. merlin gets to perform magic in front of baby!arthur and he LOVES it

my point to this was merlin dotting on little versions of arthur is a way that no one ever really did for him growing up and adult!arthur seeing it and healing little pieces of his inner child as he watches merlin play games with baby!arthur and make sure he’s taken care of. it especially hits him when gaius finally finds a way to send baby!arthur back and while everyone seems torn between upset they have to say bye, they’re also relieved to get the baby back where hes supposed to be,, merlin is like choking back fat tears. everyone backs off to give them privacy and merlin just kisses baby!arthur’s forehead and whispers some encouraging and heartachingly sincere words that have adult!arthur choking back tears.

then BOOM the spell also backfires and while yes baby!arthur got back to where hes supposed to be, now theres toddler!arthur. he has this gravitational pull to gaius (can recognize him) and merlin (magic soulmates ofc he has an innate trust in the man). merlin is happy to have his little friend back and gaius goes back to the drawing board. now they have this little 2-3 year old toddling after them and blabbering something that sounds like english if you’re patient enough

(merlin makes another comment about how little arthur has changed over the years)

the cycle repeats, merlin and toddler!arthur get attached and adult!arthur watches and heals a bit more of his inner child. gaius finds another cure that falls through the same way and now they have child!arthur. he has a bit more of uther’s influence in him but hes still a child. he gets hurt and tries to fight back tears but merlin sees he’s in pain and tells him it’s okay to be hurt, to feel pain, to cry. child!arthur says in that stutter cry children do when they’re fighting back tears that his father says boys shouldn’t cry. merlin wipes a tear that slips down child!arthur’s face and whispers about how he cries and lets himself feel his sadness before picking himself back up and dusting himself off before getting back to it, that it doesn’t make him weak but stronger. adult!arthur hears this and this may not be the beginning of his deconstruction but it makes a tremendous amount of progress in him rewiring his brain away from his father’s toxic ways of thinking.

idk if they’d get a teen!arthur since gaius probably would’ve learned his lesson by then but if they did, we’d get to watch Merlin vs Arthur Showdown 2.0 as merlin humbles the young prince and i think that’d be funny. especially for gwaine since he didn’t get to see it happen the first time.

[megu-meow]

Triangle - Gojo Satoru

girldad!gojo x wife.reader

Summary: Satoru's wife and his daughter gossip about him.

Something seems fishy. And no, it's not how fast Satoru's one and only daughter is suddenly five years old, despite all of his efforts to keep her a little baby. No, he's slowly getting over that. It's the way that little rascal and her mama, the love of Satoru's life, keep giggling every time he walks into a room. It's the muffled voices he hears as he turns away from the two of them and the whispered words he cannot quite comprehend. There's only one logical conclusion to draw here: his girls are gossiping about him behind his back.

So Satoru opts for the only reasonable solution to the situation at hand: he climbs the unsteady ladder that leads to the attic, on a quest to find the old baby monitor so that he can place it under the couch, waiting on the other end to catch his girls in the act. He's rummaging through boxes, sneezing every other second from the amount of dust, but he's determined to find the listening device. This cannot go on any longer. He's making a huge mess and a lot of noise as well, he's glad that his little mochi is at kindergarten and you are currently on a mission on the other side of Tokyo. The dust gets increasingly unbearable, Satoru has to turn on his Infinity (something he never does when he's home) so that the small particles cannot reach his nose and the white-haired sorcerer gets more irritated with each passing minute.

"Ha! Found it!" he exclaims with joy as he fishes out the pink walkie-talkie-like device from underneath some baby overalls, ones that bring tears into his eyes as he remembers his baby girl wearing them when she was an infant. However, the other end of the monitor is not in the same box and he huffs out an irritated sigh, continuing to look through the box right next to it. Fortunately, he finds it quickly and climbs down the ladder, and runs to the living room, leaving one end of the baby monitor under the couch, just like he planned. Usually, his baby girls wait for him to get home sitting on the sofa, watching cartoons, and he relies the success of his quest on the consistency of your routine. Suddenly, he senses your cursed energy and hears the excited yells of his little mochi from outside the entrance, so he runs up the stairs, getting into his hiding place in the closet connected to your shared bedroom.

The front door opens and he hears your daughter running in as you warn her to take her shoes off before getting into the living room. She obeys because she's a goodie two shoes and Gojo gets excited to finally hear what his girls have been saying about him.

"Are you hungry, sweetie?" you ask the little girl that resembles her father perfectly with her white hair and mesmerizing blue eyes.

"Yes! Can we eat mochi for dinner?" the little girl exclaims and Satoru smiles to himself, proud that his daughter has developed the same addiction to sugary treats as him.

You lecture her on how mochi doesn't classify as dinner, but you promise she can have some after eating a proper meal, and you mention how probably her father is going to bring home some sweets when he gets back. Satoru smiles again upon hearing that, you know him like the back of your hand.

Making dinner takes way too long, feeding your daughter is even more time-consuming and Gojo is getting more impatient as time passes by. He fights the urge to just abandon his plan and join the two of you, spending time with his two girls is his favorite activity after all. However, as he gets up, stretching his limbs, he finally hears his daughter ask an unusual question.

"Mama? Why did Dada change his wizard clothes?"

"Because he's the Strongest, honey, and sometimes his clothes get torn apart."

"But he looks like a triangle now, no Mama?" you laugh out loud upon hearing her words and Satoru is hurt. Deeply.

"Yes, little one, he does look like a triangle." you agree with the toddler and the giggling continues, offending Gojo even more.

"He also smells." she adds with a familiar chuckle, one that mirrors her father's perfectly. You do not disagree, you keep laughing at your daughter's words, and Satoru bolts up in frustration, he runs down the stairs with unusual force and determination, and he stops in front of you with a deep frown on his face, his hands questioningly on his hips.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOOK LIKE A TRIANGLE? AND I SMELL? WE ALL KNOW MY ESSENCE IS LIKE A FRESH SUMMER GARDEN?! FLOWERY, EARTHY AND MASCULINE!" he exclaims with a large smile on his face, not taking the whole situation seriously, but he pouts at the end of his monologue, urging your beloved daughter to jump into his hands as she doesn't know that her father is doing this on purpose to get limitless attention.

"I'm sorry, Papa, Mama said bad about you and I agreed to get mochi." the toddler says while kissing her father on the cheeks lovingly, a bad habit she learned from said buffoon.

"My kikufuku?! You're saying Mama doesn't love me?" he acts like he's deeply hurt, looking at his favorite girls in adoration. Your daughter just simply nods, not able to look either Satoru or you in the eyes, a clear sign of her being dishonest. If there's one thing neither of the Gojo's standing in front of you were good at, it was being able to sell a lie. They were terrible at it and you didn't mind. You stand up, walking closer to your family, embracing them in a big hug, kissing their foreheads lovingly.

"Mama only loves me!" the toddler exclaims, reaching her little arms towards you, signaling to her father that she wants to be held by you.

"You see, little one, I would have believed you when you said Mama was saying bad things about me and you only agreed to get mochi from me, but I knew you were lying when you said she didn't love me. So I win!" Satoru explains and the toddler hides her face into the crook of your neck from being caught and "deeply hurt".

"Satoru, love, you have to give her mochi now to feel better!" you chime in lovingly and your husband runs out of the living room, into the kitchen to give you the treats he bought on his way home.

"Look at his chicken legs!" you exclaim, pointing in his direction to get your daughter's attention. The toddler in your arms starts laughing loudly and the white mop of Satoru's hair appears from the entrance of the kitchen, a frown evident on his face.

"HEY! I HEARD THAT!"

[i-cant-sing]

Thinking about my own grandpa and how he'd comfort me with sweets/icecream whenever i had the slightest inconvenience and i just dream of whether he'd still do it to me as a 23 year old, ruffling my hair, letting me cut his birthday cake, scolding my parents when they got mad at me (yes i snitched on my parents), wiping my fat tears with his handkerchief, showing me his drawings of airplane engines as cold air blasted through the ac, letting me eat food from his plate that my mom made me bring him lol.

and like it grandparents are sooo sweet man. they couldve been okay-ish parents to their own kids, but then they get grandkids and they're like a whole different species *sniffle* theyre so precious.

and now my mind goes to that yandere todoroki clan au (i think it was the bullied series) where at the end, reader dies because of rei, and the whole fam loses their sanity. then one day, reader is reincarnated (its her quirk) as dabi's baby and dabi shares the news with his siblings because he needs to restore their sanity too (cause he feels responsible for them too, the "eldest kid" syndrome).

anyways, after you, his daughter had died, enji lost it and killed rei and then just vanished into the mountains to mourn his loss. years later, for whatever reason, he finds out about you. he's standing there, watching toddler you looking at him with curiosity. you stumble towards him, and Enji's on his knees at this point, he's in shock. your scars, your marks from your previous life dont even register to him until later on, all he can focus is you- its you, his baby. his daugher. his child that he swore to protect and failed.

your legs give out when you reach him but your hands reach for him and enji's already lifting you up, bringing you to his chest. his eyes are filled with tears as u look at him and babble, your hands grabbing onto his shirt, touching his face, big doe eyes staring at him.

he hugs you, silent sobs wrecking his body as he gets a whiff of your head. you- you smell just like her- like his daughter.

It really is you.

he doesn't let go of you, even when you eventually fall asleep in his arms, rocking you gently as he stares down at you in awe and disbelief. he doesn't let you go even when dabi tries to take you back, even when dabi insists that he won't keep you two apart, that you need to rest in your bed as he explains everything.

he finally let's you go when you wake up and reach for your dad (dabi), crying when enji doesn't let you leave his arms. but he relents, enji relents when you cry- it hurts him so bad, he's reminded of all the times how you used to cry before, how you used to beg him for help, beg him to save you. his heart breaks to see you like this, in tears.

enji's only partially conscious of what dabi is saying to him, explaining to him that you're now "his" daughter and enji's "granddaughter" and that's how things will be if they need to work. But enji doesn't care whether you're his daughter or not, all he cares about is that he's in your life because he needs to- he will keep you safe. He won't make the same mistakes again. Never.

i can just imagine the siblings and enji all sitting down together to make decisions about your life in extreme detail so that they ensure that no harm befalls you ever again, and if by some extreme badluck you die, they need to make sure that you reincarnate back to them.

they plan your every day, they make sure that at least one of them is with you at all times, and most importantly, they make sure youre safe and happy. when you start going to school, you're taken to school by Shotou because Dabi (who went back to working as a chef) has to go to work early. then at school, your teacher is more than likely Fuyumi (and if she's not your teacher, then she still works at your school). then after school, you're picked up by Enji who takes you out for ice cream (always, he doesnt care if its before u have had lunch. he needs to make up for all the times he couldnt give u ice cream because of rei) and also buy you any toys u want. enji is just enjoying you padding away and pointing at things that catch your eye. at home, natsuo has returned from his shift at the hospital and then starts heating up the food dabi had already made for you, before letting enji put you down for nap time. when you wake up, natsuo takes your vitals and a basic medical check. by dinner, dabi is home and you welcome him by launching yourself at his legs with a thud. he laughs, picks you up and pecks your cheek before taking you into the kitchen with him to make dinner while you tell him all about your day.

[mariclerc]

Dad and daughter moment | pg10

Summary: You decide to leave your boyfriend at home with your little girl and they had a little adventure.

Warning: none. Dedicated to @martaaairwin1994-blog

a/n: this is like a part 2 of "family cuddles" I hope u like it <3

It was a sunny afternoon and you decide to go buy some things for the house and some things that both you and little Lucille need.

“I can go with you bebé?” Pierre asks behind you.

You deny. “Obviously not, silly... Also, who is going to stay with Lulu?”

When you go out alone to shop or do anything you always take Lucille with you, the times you leave her with Pierre have not been so... encouraging, let's put it that way.

One time they almost burned down the kitchen making cookies, or one time he fell asleep and left Lulu on her own. In the same way, you had to give even a vote of confidence to your boyfriend, maybe he is a little bit clueless, but that doesn't mean he does it on purpose.

“It's okay honey, I'll take care of her, I promise!” He says and you give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Good boy!” you giggle and you head out of the room.

“Mama!” Lucille says hugging you.

“My little flower! You're going to stay with papa today, is that right?” you said while giving her a little kiss on her cheek. “He's going to take good care of you today!”

She nods happily and smiled. “Okay mama!”

***

“Well little princess, what do you want to do today with papa?” Pierre asks Lulu. “We can do what you like.”

“Paints papa!” She says between giggles.

“Oh, so you want to paint with papa? Let's get to it then!” He says as he carries her in his arms and goes to look for the materials for their colorful adventure in one of the closets.

After a while they had paints, brushes and canvases for their painting.

“Bright! Bright!” says Lucille jumping while pointing at the bright pink color.

Pierre chuckles. “Do you like bright pink? What do you plan to paint today mon petit artiste?” He says while smiling. (my little artist.)

She starts making strokes on the canvas. “Draw!” smiled.

After a while, what started with simple strokes on the canvas continued with clothes and hands stained with paint. But they didn't care because they were both laughing out loud and having lots of fun, it was a nice moment between father and daughter that they will both always remember.

They are not aware of your arrival at the house, you enter the hallway, laden with shopping bags. You kick the door shut with your foot and head towards the living room, a wry smile on your face.

In the living room, chaos reigns... Paint splatters adorn the coffee table, the floor, and most alarmingly, the pristine white wall, in the center of it all, sits Pierre his face a canvas of vibrant colors, a look of pure joy on it. Lucille sits next to him, similarly decorated and equally delighted.

You take a moment to take in the scene, a rollercoaster of emotions flitting across your face - exasperation, amusement, and a touch of awe.

Feigning exasperation. “Oh my god Pierre, what have you done?”

Pierre looks up, a sheepish grin spreading across his paint-streaked face. Lucille lets out a gleeful squeal.

“Surprise amour! We were... expressing ourselves artistically.” He says with his voice thick with paint.

You walk towards them, placing the bags down. “Looks more like a warzone to me.”

Lucille reaches out for you, her tiny hand covered in a rainbow of colors.

“Papa! Paint!” Lucille giggles.

“Woah there, little Picasso. Let's get you cleaned up before mommy has a meltdown, alright?” you scoop her up.

Pierre chuckles, wiping a hand (mostly clean) across his forehead.

“Meltdown? That's a bit dramatic, don't you think love?”

”But look around you, Mr. artsy pants. This is gonna take some scrubbing!” You say raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, it was her idea! I was just, uh, facilitating her artistic vision, you know, that helps with kids creativity.” He stands up.

“Ah yes, the renowned Gasly School of Modern Toddler Art. I should've known.” You say sarcastically.

Despite your teasing words, there's a warmth in your voice. You glance at Lucille, who's now giggling uncontrollably.

“Alright, alright. I admit, it does look like you two had a lot of fun.” You say with a soft voice.

“We always do when you're not around to boss us around.” He says as he puts his arm around you.

“Hey! I'm not a boss, I just keep things from descending into complete chaos you know?” you playfully swat his arm.

“Seems like you failed today, love.” he smiles.

“Oh, shut up you colourful boy.” you laugh a little.

You lean in and kiss Pierre, a hint of paint transferring to your lips. He pulls away, grinning.

“So, how about we clean up this little art project and order some takeout? Celebrate our success in the realm of abstract expressionism?” He says in a soft voice.

”Sounds like a plan. Just promise me finger paints are off-limits next time, alright?” You smile at his proposal.

“No promises, but I'll try my best chérie.” He hold his hands up in mock surrender.

Lucille lets out another gurgle, her eyes sparkling with mischief. You can't help but laugh, knowing that with these two around, a little chaos is always guaranteed in your life.

[samalong1]

A different kind of mess

Domestic fluff with hannibal and reader

Hannibal hates messes

He always went the extra mile when cleaning dusting his valuables,sanitizing everything,and cleaning the tiniest crevices

Nit so weird but considering he went all out every week it was clear neatness was important

But now that he has you and a small toddler it differs

If course its still clean but less so

His fridge is cramped with drawings

His coffee table has disney movie cds

His bathroom counters has remnants of sparkly toothpaste

Even his weird torture hospital basement has been effected

Some poor soon to be killed man had to hold back laughs as the menacing killer tripped over the damn tricycle that was only in the basement so his child woudnt try and ride it in the harsh winter made sense but he wished you told him

But even though he misses having impossibly clean home he cherishes the laughter from his sweet child as they play stringing toys along the floor that he'll have to clean up later

Even though he still keeps the house cleaner then the average household every once in a while when you take your child out he goes full on deep cleaning

As soon as your child is old enough he's teaching them to clean after themselves

Understands any mess his kid cleans up won't be perfect but still a good habit and makes it easier for him to clean

Legos are banned after he stepped on one

Almost yelled at the kid

Stickers are not banned but strictly monitered

He let his kid into his office once and stickers were everywhere

He had to explain to his patients why his clipboard had Ariel and puppy stickers all over

Only tolerates it from his child

Refuses to let any other kid in his house

Yes the gremlin is messy but he came from you as proof of their love and for him to guide and teach

And your kid likes going go their freinds houses anyway due to junkfood

Hannibal doesn't like them going to other kid's houses and has to meet the parents first ect

No sleepovers final word don't even bother asking

Only sleepovers are when your family is over for the holidays and cousins get to have a "sleepover" In the living room

But playdates are ok afterall it gives him alone time with you

Pta hannibal fic maybe

[2knightt]

IM SORRY, I KNOW U GOT A REQUEST ON THIS SO MUCH ALREADY BUT…

Your motherly!reader fics are so good 😭! can you pleasee do another? platonic with the gang!! no romance 🥰 thank youu ❤️❤️❤️ your work is amazing btw!

the gang x motherly!reader

!warnings!

1.i did headcanons i hope thats okay😭

2.fem!reader

3.swearing and a small mention of violence.

Johnny Cade ;

like i’ve said before in other fics, he loves you so much.

honestly, you might be one of his favourite people!

when he walks down the street and he just so happens to see a cute flower, he picks it and gives it to you!

when he first met you, he refused to see you when he was injured in anyway. he thought you’d think he was weak and never see him again.

but as time went on, and you showed that you genuinely cared for him, he showed more of his vulnerable side.

johnny likes it when you patch him up now!

he thinks it’s calming, relaxing, and a, ‘nice change of things rather than lettin’ mother nature cure it.’

when he unknowingly/accidentally vents to you about his home life, he does get embarrassed.

he didn’t want you knowing, but when you hugged him real tight and told him sweet nothings?? he teared up ngl.

johnny wishes you could’ve been his mom.

when or if you have kids, johnny wishes they don’t take the, ‘how was your day?’ and the, ‘how’s school going?’ for granted.

because to johnny cade, that would be his perfect fairytale.

having someone as sweet as you to turn his life around, makes him excited to see tomorrow.

Dallas Winston ;

another bitch with mommy issues who is glad to have you.

mrs.curtis was definitely the mother he never had but always wanted and when she died, he was devastated.

but when you came along and started being that mother he missed??? he was both annoyed and over the moon.

he didn’t like that every time you bailed him out of jail, he got an ear full. however, he did like to know verbally that someone cared about him

he doesn’t show you any sort of affection, but he will tell you how he feels when drunk.

“thank you, so much y/n. i-i don’t know where i’d be without you.”

for mothers day, he doesn’t do anything special.

BUT—you didn’t hear this from me, before the clock hits 12, expect to hear like a cute little knock at your door, and open it to see a single flower on the ground with a pack of cigarettes.

dally ran off before you or anyone else could see him.

even though he didn’t sign his name, you knew it was from him. so, next time you see him, say thank you.

Ponyboy Curtis ;

he’s like a toddler around you???

ponyboy definitely pretends to be like, your own bodyguard.

but really, who’s scared of ponyboy?

he tries though!

when he watches a movie and some character reminds him of you, expect that to be the first thing he tells you.

“ya know, when i went to the drive in, you really reminded of this one character.”

“oh? why’s that?”

“well because-“

and now you have to sit there and listen to him.

he’ll draw for you so much :(.

if you tell him your favourite flower, he WILL give you a drawing of it the next day. he’ll stay up all night if he has too!

Sodapop Curtis ;

he’s literally your #2 fan. first place goes to johnny.

he’s your biggest hypeman??? omg???

“gee, y/n! you’re lookin’ real fancy!! gonna get all the guys, eh?”

when ponyboy and darry argue and he just can’t take it anymore, he calls you and asks to come over.

and of course, you say yes everytime.

so please, PLEASE, just let him cry into your arms!!!!

when he’s done, he’ll try to go home but i’m begging you to tell him he’s welcomed to stay the night.

and if he does stay? ponyboy will be at your doorstep too.

he’ll share his famous chocolate cake with you!! he’ll make sure steve doesn’t touch it.

“STEVE THAT WAS FOR Y/N! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

“OH SHIT SHIT SHIT! WE MAKE MAKE ONE TOGETHER! THE MORE PEOPLE THE FASTER THE CAKE WILL BAKE RIGHT?!”

“DO I LOOK LIKE A SCIENTIST??”

Darry Curtis ;

he is so thankful for you i legit can’t stress that enough.

you keep the gang in check, you keep ponyboy happy, and you help him around the house. what more could he ask for?

you legit force darry to relax while you look after the gang to make sure nothing bad happens.

“we’ll be fine, darry. go to bed, your dark circles are gettin’ darker by the minute.”

“yeah super-man! we’ll be fine with y/n!”

“yeah!!”

“fine, but if she wakes me up to tell me about any of you, so god help me.”

if you welcome him home with a newspaper and his favourite cup of coffee after a long day at work, he might ask you to move in.

Steve Randle ;

steve pretends that he doesn’t like you that much.

but he really does. like, the second he hears some soc threaten or insult you? he’s after them.

shit, he might be chasin’ after them in two-bits car while two-bit yells at the person.

he will legit go to war for you if you asked him nicely.

he will rant to you about cars if you let him😭.

he’ll rant to you about anything, honestly.

“and then the old bastard asked for a refund! the ‘no refunds’ sign was right on the door! how could that old bat not see it?!”

“steve! don’t call people that, but yes, it was very rude of that man to do that too you.”

“RIGHT?!”

Two-bit Matthews ;

he forces you to relax and watch mickey mouse with him.

he says it’s for your own good but when really, he just wants to spend time with you without the gang interrupting.

“guys! you’re stressing her out with all your STUPID questions! c’mon, y/n, mickey mouse is calling our names. can’t you hear it?”

“or maybe its the booze you had at 10AM.”

“i will sock you in your fucking throat steve.”

he plays with your hair…he finds it fun!

please tell him how to do some styles so he can go home and impress his little sister :(.

he offers you beer every once and awhile just so he can say he got you to loosen up.

“so y/n…you want some?”

“oh! no thank you, two. you know i don’t drink.”

he calls you mom in a joking way, ya dig?

“momm! steve called me a dumbass!”

“steve, be nice! apologize.”

“what the fuck?!”

author notes ;

1. i like totally rushed near the end LMFAO.

2. i never thought you bitches would eat motherly!reader up like this??

3.are you guys okay??

4.THANK U SWEETHEART OMFG??

5.i think theres no romance??

may 15th, 2023. 6:39PM

[seyaryminamoto]

My latest completed commission may have been a bit ambitious... because I went wild with it. But I certainly relished in doing so :') Combining my favorite ship with my favorite-ever Disney movie is, uh... a dangerous concoction :'D

The commissioner specifically requested for Azula as Mulan, Sokka as Shang, and Xin Long (my OC dragon from Gladiator) as Mushu. The rest of the cast was up to me to choose, and I pretty much went wild rewatching this movie and picking out some of my favorite moments to recreate them in my style, with these characters. I came up with a lot of correlating characters between both ATLA and 1998's Mulan, but I couldn't hope to draw EVERYTHING, unfortunately. Still, if you want my reasoning for the cast correlation... check out the Read More! Beyond that, feel free to reach out to me if you'd like to commission me, or if you want to join my Patreon!

The Herbalist as Mulan's grandmother might feel arbitrary but she honestly felt like the ATLA elderly lady with the most similar personality to Grandma Fa. Fickle, with a unique connection with a seemingly perfectly ordinary animal, old and sassy? Figured it fit! So for once, the Herbalist is Azula's grandma! xD strange notion, I know, Azulon/Herbalist is not a ship I ever thought I'd accidentally put out in the world but there have been wilder ships than that in this fandom...

Momo became Cri-Kee, I wasn't 100% sold on it but when I considered that Avatar features soooo many hybrid animals... I figured he could be a hybrid cricket-lemur. Weird, I know, but eh? Better than nothing xD

Aang as Chien-Po was a no-brainer. He's the only character I settled on instantly, never even considered anyone else for the role. Their personalities line up really well, and Chien-Po's tendency to be OP and resolve things that are outside of other people's reach sounded like he was prime Avatar material! So, while their dietary preferences are an obvious difference between them, I decided to go for it nonetheless considering all their other similarities!

Kino (another Gladiator OC) is Ling, and he actually did give me a ton of trouble to choose. I considered many characters for the role right up until I realized that Kino's personality actually lines up fairly well with Ling's, down to being a class clown type (who ABSOLUTELY would have cut gym class!) and breaking out in song about the hypothetical woman he'd like to fight for? Yeeeeah that's right up his alley xD but there's another reason why I picked Kino...

... And that is my likely unexpected choice for Yao:

ZUKO.

ZUKO IS YAO.

YES.

I'M NOT EVEN SORRY.

(For the uninitiated, Aang, Zuko and Kino are best friends in Gladiator, very often together, and they make a really good team, so that's the extra reason why Kino became the obvious choice for Ling aside from having really similar personalities, definitely closer personalities than, say, Jet, for instance.)

People have likened Zuko to Shang a LOT since ATLA aired. This is the main reason why I'm even making this huge note! I suspect it's primarily because of the aesthetic, let's be real here, and because he becomes Aang's teacher, but people have exaggerated Zuko's alleged similarities with Shang, or taken them out of proportion, in many ways. I actually remember an AMV ages ago with "Be a Man" and it was Zuko "training the Gaang"?? It... didn't feel right to me. Obviously, someone might rebuff with "well, how does Sokka make MORE sense than that, though?" And believe it or not, I have arguments for that... (when do I not...?)

Not only is this what the commissioner specifically requested (and it obviously lines up with the ship we love!), but let's examine the actual reasons why Sokka as Shang adds up:

Sokka actually had to train a bunch of toddlers who weren't paying any attention to him. You know. Kind of how Shang had to train the unruly soldiers who weren't getting anything right. Sokka has a positive relationship with his dad (Zuko, ofc, does not). Shang also has a positive relationship with his dad! And not only this, but there's a military component to both relationships, specifically with Shang wanting to follow on his father's footsteps and aid him in the war... so much like someone else I know, who jumped at every opportunity to rejoin his father in the war, even wishing to join him as a child until Hakoda tasked him with protecting their Tribe instead (kinda like Shang is tasked with training soldiers rather than joining a battlefield).

And the final cherry-on-top that I'd loooove to hear Zuko fans try to argue against... is sexism :') didn't Sokka get characterized as a sexist guy for four episodes, which made people decide that this was his main character trait even if it went away that quickly? Um, yes, that happened. Shang literally sings the memorable song that's a crazy ode to masculinity, including the rather sexist line of "did they send me daughters when I asked for sons". Shang outright abandons Mulan once they discover that she was a woman all along (while, admittedly, choosing to abandon her rather than KILL HER, which as we saw from Chi-Fu, he was NOT supposed to spare her!)...

So, is this REALLY what Zuko fans, who willfully believe their boy is a feminist king (... why? beats me...) are trying to compare their unproblematic blorbo to? :'D Me? I have no problem linking Sokka with Shang due to Sokka's beginnings and due to the fact that both Shang and Sokka have similar growth when it comes to accepting femininity is as valid as masculinity, and as they both learn to respect women as fighters and potential heroes! (I simply do not believe Sokka's ENTIRE tenure in ATLA was about that, though, and that's what I continue to clash with the fandom over...) So... all this is why I've reasoned that Sokka is a VERY solid choice for Shang, in fact, better than Zuko could hope to be.

... but this isn't all.

Maybe some might accept my arguments for Sokka-Shang. And then, they might ask:

WHY ZUKO AS YAO, THO??

... And the truth is it took me long to see it, myself, but HOLY SHIT, DOES IT FIT!

What is the primary thing we remember about Yao in Mulan? This guy is constantly itching for a fight, to prove himself, surely riddled with insecurities that he exteriorizes through overcompensation of masculinity. He's funny as fuck, but he's taking himself 100% seriously as a manly man all the time, and he's always ready for violence. But there's one more thing...

He treats Mulan as his RIVAL.

And more often than not? SHE SCREWS HIM OVER. Intentionally or not.

What does that sound like? Why, yes, it sounds a LOT like Azula and Zuko's sibling relationship!

The fact that Yao is a temperamental dude who lashes out easily at things (oh, something he has in common with Zuko!), that he specifically resents Mulan (in this case, Azula, just as Zuko does!) and is either constantly looking to defeat her and prove his superiority over her (... wait, just as Zuko with Azula??), that he has a black eye perpetually across the movie, and it's his LEFT EYE (just as Zuko's scar is on his left eye! :'D), that he's friends with a pacifist he has basically nothing in common with, personality-wise (just like Zuko and Aang!), and that he pretty much has a REDEMPTION ARC in which he goes from a bitter, asshole rival to Mulan to treating her as a friend and ally, to the point where he was disappointed to leave her behind and THEN joined her at once when she says she has a plan? :') I have always been critical of Zuko's redemption arc, goes without saying. But if ANY of these characters redeemed himself in any significant way, it certainly seems to be Yao to me, and with people gushing NON-STOP about Zuko's redemption? Why, he ought to be the character who goes from bitter rival to loyal friend, right?

So. I'm not even sorry. Zuko is Yao. And I'd dare say that he should be flattered by the comparison, even, because Yao ends up being cool as FUCK!

I don't really talk about this much nowadays, but Mulan was my favorite Disney movie growing up, it ABSOLUTELY had a formative influence on me as a little girl, and Mulan was my favorite female character for a looooong time. Thus, any excuse to rewatch this movie makes me happy as heck. With the wisdom of age I know, of course, that it's not perfect, it's not what China wants, it's not the most thoughtful depiction of Chinese culture or the most faithful adaptation of Mulan's poem (... but I'd also dare bring up that the 2009 Chinese adaptation ISN'T all that faithful either...), but it has a kind of magic in it, a solid storytelling flow, so many memorable moments one after the next, that I could hardly choose which scenes to depict... Disney has never again seen the storytelling heights it reached with Mulan in 1998. I don't even care if that's a controversial opinion in any way... this is their best animated feature for me, and nobody can change my mind.

So... depicting Azula, my beloved, in all these scenarios as this character I adored and idolized as a child, was so damn fulfilling for me. While some might think that, personality-wise, these two ladies don't have much in common, the fact that Mulan is sent to a matchmaker who basically tells her she looks good but is going to be the worst wife ever...? Our girl Azula, with all those insecurities about being unloveable and a monster, probably would relate big time to that.

Mulan is also an INTELLIGENT soldier rather than a brawny one, which is how she starts to make progress in the army, it's how she manages to overcome the huns with that avalanche... and Azula's primary difference with most other antagonists in ATLA is that she's smart as fuck. She is very strong, no doubt, but a LOT of that strength comes from her intelligence, from assessing situations in unique ways, from planning and strategizing. The way Mulan finds the most unexpected solutions that still pay off reminds me a lot of how Azula achieves unexpected feats through rather unorthodox means, capable of taking over a city with basically no bloodshed while her nation has spent 100 years trying and failing to do so through major army incursions and who knows how much senseless violence. Obviously, I'm not saying what Azula did is GOOD and it's kind of dumb that we always have to point that out... I'm merely comparing the magnitude of the feats, and the fact that they both come from ladies who use strategy and intelligence to achieve their goals rather than muscle and physical power.

And while anyone would rage at me for the comparison between Fa Zhou (her dad) and Ozai, the truth is the dynamic between them CAN be compared, if loosely: Mulan literally goes to war to keep her father safe. Azula goes to war under her father's orders. Hell, she makes herself BAIT in the Eclipse to make sure the Gaang won't get to her dad?? While it's very much possible to say that both characters have different personalities and attitudes in life... I'd also bring up that their contexts are evidently completely different. I wouldn't say for certain that Azula, had she been raised outside a Royal Family, would be EXACTLY like Mulan... but they might have more similar traits than one might expect. Ultimately, though... I love them both. And this opportunity to swap their places was pretty much a dream come true!

Alright, that was plenty of rambling xD ultimately, I had a blast doing this commission, as I'm sure is obvious by now. So! If anyone wants to commission me, feel free to check out my prices right here and hit me up if you're interested!

[harrysmimi]

Boo-Boo Away

Synopsis: One where Harry's left alone with two kinds under two as his wife rests on a sick day

Dadrry Fic

More of my work

Harry loves his family.

Without help he was loosing his mind. All of his family is sick from flu. It really started from him, then his wife got sick one of the the kid is breastfeeding.

Bea, the twenty month old and Maeve the two month old were grumpy and moody since last night. Both the parents stayed up to tend to their kids. But YN got even more sick this morning, and she was advised to take rest by her doctor.

Been given birth just two months ago via C-section has already taken a huge toll on her. So, Harry took it upon himself to make YN take a nap and the littlest was all fed and bundled up and fast asleep as well.

Maeve was being difficult to put to sleep, it took him all of a hour and half just rocking her to sleep but it was worth it the moment she fell asleep and he put her next to her Mumma on her bed. She seems to be a little too young to be sick but she's doing the best out of three of the ladies.

Bea could walk, sprint even, so she followed her dad around the house with her blankie dragging behind her as he did the chores. He'd warned the little girl that she could trip and fall with her blankie dragging behind her.

"Princess you will trip like that." He tried to have her hold her blankie in a way she wouldn't fall, bundled up in her arm. But she threw a tantrum. She was adamant to drag it around with her. "Okay, okay, you can have it as your wish." He surrendered.

He placed all of Maeve's clean laundry in the basket as he ran another batch of both the girls clothes. He took the basket out To the kids' room. None of them slept in there, they both liked to sleep in their parents bed. Maeve especially, she is already bonded with her Mummy where as Bea always wants Papa with her.

"Papa." Bea called for him, showing him a toy she's been obsessed with lately. It was a yellow Lego building block. She showed him asking him to go play with her with the building blocks.

"That's so cool, baby." Harry engaged in little conversations with her. She went back out to the living room. "You're still obsessed with that one?"

"Mhmm." She nodded.

Both YN and Harry have been used to help by their Doula, who helped them both everything as YN healed from giving birth and the parents focused on bonding with their new baby. It was the same when Bea was born. But now that they're both on their own, the chores have become more challenging.

Especially for Harry today. He had to place each of his steps carefully, not wanting to kick his toddler like a football on accident.

As Harry placed the basket of clean laundry in the kids' room he walked out to a living room scattered with toys. They weren't just just limited to the play area but everywhere in the living room.

Harry wanted to cry.

But he left it at that, he doesn't want Bea to cry, and wake up her Mummy and little sister by that. He'd let be on her own until he's done with the dishes.

The little green eyed girl walked upto him again to show him a scribbly drawing of hers. Harry gave her some encouraging words as she walked back out.

She was still dragging that blankie around the house.

It wasn't until he heard a thud and a loud cry that sent him running outside. Bea had fallen down the two little steps which separated their kitchen and living room. She never missed those, it was definitely that dang blankie. Her cried were loud enough to have her sleepy Mummy get out to see her.

"What happened?" YN came running out too, her tired eyes just daring to shut closed again.

"Hey baby," Harry cooed as both the parents gathered around the toddler. "Did you get hurt?"

"Yes." She nodded as she cried, "here." She pointed at her knee which was obviously red.

"Can you move you leg for me?" YN asked and the girl did, "good baby. And again?"

"Hurt." She sniffled. "Hurt."

"I know baby, but we have to move your leg a little so it won't hurt as much." Harry assured her and made her bend her knee a couple of time carefully but apparently it still hurt.

"Boo-Boo away." She leaned onto her Mummy who was closer to her as her dad inspected her knee, "Boo-Boo away!"

"It's alright, see," Harry placed a delicate kiss on her joint and looked at his wife. "Kiss Boo-Boo away, Mummy." And her mummy did too.

"Why don't we go take a nap? With May-may too." YN suggested, "your Boo-Boo will go away after."

She usually just moves on, but given the toddler is sick her tiny body must already be aching already to add to her injury. Harry picked her up like a little doll she is and walked them to the master bedroom.

It was also when Maeve started to wake up all fussy too. It was hour past her feeding time, Harry didn't even realise that. But YN picked her up immediately and brought her to the bed. She lied down the baby as it was the most comfortable position to feed her. Harry placed Bea on the other side.

"May-may no!" Bea cooed as she gently stroked her sister's head. "Mumma, May-may hurt?"

"No, baby she's just hungry." YN explained, "why don't you just lay down, hmm? Cuddle with May-may and Mummy."

Bea lied down on her dad's side of the bed immediately. Making him jealous just as fast. He could use a nap too, he's been up all night and hasn't slept for even a blink. Since yesterday morning.

"Hey, you wanna join us?" YN asked as he was making his way around their bed to go out and finish up all the chores.

"I've got dishes to wash," he shared.

"We can do that later, take a nap with us." YN pressed so he can take some rest too. And he's just recovered from a flu. "Come on!"

"Okay, okay." He walked back to his side and lied on his side.

It was bit crowded with two babies, but it's cosy. Maeve sleeps in the cot kept in her parents room because she's just too small to be on her own. And her older sister likes to sleep right in between her parents on their bed. It is warm and cosy and safe feeling. But when she's in mood she'll demand to sleep in the nursery, in her own bed. And there also another crib in the parents room where Harry would eventually move Bea too. Especially when she's kicking her dad in stomach and face there.

Bea scooted closer to her dad, using his bicep as her pillow she buried herself in his chest for cuddles. It was quiet. Bea asleep and Maeve still having her milk.

The littlest one was drifting in and out of her sleep there, it was so adorable as she smiled and tiniest dimples popped up on her chubby and fluffy cheeks. And she go right to sucking onto her mum's boob until she was breathless. A hungry, hungry little human she is.

"She's running a marathon." Harry whispered and chuckled softly. He doesn't want Bea to wake up. He moved her to the crib carefully.

Only so her fever doesn't go up with her warming up too much. And they can't turn up the AC too much as all of the girls have cold too. He picked up the baby when she was done eating too, and burped her before she was back in her cot too. He sighed seeing how peaceful both of their babies were sleeping. Finally getting the rest they need.

"Now come here, will you?" Now his wife was demanding his attention. And he obliged. He pulled in closer to his chest there.

"You know I love our babies, but I miss our time alone." He shared.

"Awh!" YN cooed, "we can have alone time after they've recovered from flu."

"Mhmm." He sounded tiredly, "hate to see them that way. Bea has been to grumpy since last night."

"Give her a break, she's still a baby." YN chuckled.

"I know, I know." He nodded, "I'm just jealous they get all your time now."

"They get all your time too!"

"Well..." He laughed, "touché."

"Yeah!" YN got all defensive.

"Once you're all recovered, we're gonna it a good few days, the kiddos can go live with my mum for the weekend and we can go to our villa." He layed a rough plan knowing well it could go wrong anyday, anytime.

"You know both of them haven't been to our home in Italy yet?" YN reminded him.

"Need to get their passports sorted then we can take them there for Christmas, yeah?" He suggested, "till then you and I can have some us time there."

"Yeah we can." She smiled. "I love you."

"And I love you more." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

......................................................................

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[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Job Swap

“Oh it's beautiful!” exclaimed the customer waiting in line. I handed her a nicely decorated cake for her son's birthday.

“It's no big deal. Just doing my job.” I acted like it was no big deal, but really I was gladly accepting the praise!

“This is perfect though. Have you considered being an artist?” she replied with a slightly more serious look.

“Yes I have actually…but the job market is tough.”

“Aww you'll get there eventually! Don't give up! Well anyway, you made my day so for that, thank you!”

“You're welcome.” I was a bit sad though, because she was right; I SHOULD be an artist. I recently earned my bachelor's degree, but yet I was still stuck in this dumb hick town, working as a grocery store cake decorator. I may have been good at what I do but I wouldn't want to do it forever!

At least my co-workers are pretty decent, especially my fellow bakery buddies, Chase, Amber, and Domingo. Amber was cool and didn't take anyone’s shit, which is why I loved seeing her because I didn't have much confidence when dealing with unruly customers. Domingo was very sweet, and even though he didn't speak very good English, he's hella good at his job. And Chase, well…he's hot! His bleach blond hair somehow always caught the light at a perfect angle. I don't know how I even kept my focus when he's working next to me.

At the end of my shift, I clocked out, and decided to buy a couple groceries like I normally did. I scanned everything at the self-checkout, put the receipt into one of my bags, and started walking towards the exit. The store had 2 exits on either side of the front, but I only took one because the other had a certain asshole at it - Richard.

The greeter position was removed a long time ago, but they bring it back for employees that have been injured or are too old, so that they can keep their jobs. Now this old guy named Richard had surgery a long time ago and became the greeter while he recovered. But yet he never went back to his old position.

He always stays at one specific entrance, and the reason I hated him so much was because he's racist. Part of his job has him checking customers’ receipts to make sure they didn't steal anything, which seems pretty unnecessary when you have those anti-theft machines at the exit. But I've seen him. The only people he checks the receipts for are minorities. It's not a subtle thing either; he’s super friendly, greeting and saying goodbye to all the white people passing but when it comes to someone who's not, his demeanor suddenly changes. 

My luck must've run out today, because I found the sliding glass doors at my usual exit were broken and currently being fixed. The area was blocked off by a barricade, and I knew there was only one other way to leave. I headed over to the other exit, and there Richard was, waving goodbye to a white mother and her toddler. He was wearing his typical gray uniform shirt that was clearly too small, because you could see his gut and nipples trying to poke through. Gross.

I moved through the aisle, trying not to draw attention to myself, but it was all for nothing because right on cue, Richard walked up to me and gave a great big (and so obviously fake) smile.

“Hello sir, can I see your receipt please?”

“Richard, it's me, Marco. I work in the bakery. You've seen me a million times before.” His smile suddenly faded, and his eyes narrowed, as if every ounce of happiness in his body just vanished.

“That's no excuse. How do I know you aren't stealing?”

“Because I want to keep my job?”

“Don't backtalk to me. You seem awfully suspicious today.” He then reached for his walkie talkie and started to page a manager. I really was able to walk out with no repercussions because I truly didn't steal anything, but there's a chance he would page the Asset Protection lady, who was almost as awful.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” Nobody answered him. Thank god.

“Am I free to go now?” I said happily. The anger returned to his face.

“Just don't let me catch you stealing again. Or there'll be consequences!”

“Yeah…suuuure.” I walked out the door, into my car, and back home. I can't believe some people honestly. I was so sick of this town! I needed to move away real soon.

When I got home my dog, Kenny, was excited to greet me as usual so I let him outside to do his business while I got into my running clothes, prepping for a run. As I let Kenny back in, I went to check the mail and found a weird envelope in between the bills and spam. I opened it up and it was a letter addressed “to whom it may concern”. I threw it away without a second thought but Kenny suddenly ran up to the trash can, took it out, and placed it back in front of me.

“You really want me to read this, don't you boy?” I said cheerily as I patted him on the head.

“To whom it may concern,

Are you struggling with your current job? Unhappy with the life you have? Well I have just the cure for that! We are now selling happiness inducing coins for only $1 with free shipping! One flip of this coin will guarantee you will soon get a job you love! Get it fast before it all runs out! Just follow the link on the back of this letter if you are interested.” - VV

I wondered who or what VV was supposed to be, and $1 with free shipping sounds too good to be true, so this seemed like a scam. I also wasn't a superstitious person,  but for some reason my gut was telling me that this was a good idea. Kenny seemed to think so too as he was wagging his tail under the table and I read. I followed the link listed on the back of the page, typing in each random letter and number combination into my phone and ordered the lucky coin. I went to bed that night feeling a little more hopeful.

The next day at work was just like the previous day, only the door was fixed so I didn't have to walk out the exit Richard was standing at. We did make eye contact though, and he shot me a dirty look. I got home to find that the package had already arrived, which was awfully quick. I cut open the box and inside was a golden coin with a picture of a brain on it. The other side had a picture of a person with their arms spread wide. It was a really weird design. I read the instructions.

How to use:

Flip the coin

No matter what side it lands on, you'll be guaranteed happiness in your new job!

It sounded so lame, but I followed the instructions anyway. I flipped the coin the air, and slapped it on the back of my other hand. Tails. Nothing happened. I guess it was just $1 so it wasn't a huge waste of my time. It's pretty cool looking so maybe I could display it on my dresser or something.

I felt especially tired the rest of the night, but I was fine because I had a day off tomorrow. I was gonna go to the park with Kenny, as well as do a few errands. I was just glad I had time away from my job.

The next morning my alarm went off for some reason. I must've accidently set it by mistake. The weirder thing was Kenny wasn't there. Normally at the sound of my alarm, he comes running from wherever he was sleeping, and jumps on the bed to get me up. But there was nothing. When I started to truly wake up and become more alert, I realized that my alarm was set to the default or something. Instead of my usual calming piano, it was an annoying ringing. I opened my eyes to see what was happening. My vision was blurry, but I could tell I wasn't in my own room.

What happened? Did someone kidnap me? The alarm clock wasn't even on a phone, but rather it was an actual alarm clock. I had no idea what was going on, but I reached over to turn it off so I could think. I'm certain I must've been kidnapped somehow but why? And why would they set an alarm clock? I couldn't see but felt around the nightstand for a clue and found a pair of glasses. When I tried them on, just like that, my vision returned to normal. I had perfect vision before! Why did I suddenly need glasses? I reached up to scratch my head and found my hairline was incredibly receded. I was balding! I looked down with my now clear vision to find an even worse fact. I was chubby!

I sat up and stared at the foreign gut and two large man tits, as well as numerous graying chest hairs. I ran my hands through the hair, pinching them to make sure they were real. I pinched the tits as well, and felt sensations I've never felt before as they wobbled when I let go. I ran my hands through my face and felt a mustache and double chin, and began feeling nauseous at the thought of what I actually looked like. I didn't see a mirror in the room so I walked out the door trying to find a bathroom. The fat jiggled all around as I ran.

I got to the bathroom and nearly puked on the spot when I saw who I was. Richard. Oh god no. Of all people, I had to look like this racist bastard? I stared at myself and grazed my hands along my face. Suddenly I felt angry and started pinching it instead, as if I was doing the same thing to the real Richard, but denial didn't help; that was my face and it hurt. I touched his mustache and pinched it, as if it would come off. 

Just then I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't want to interact with anybody looking like this but until I figured out how to fix it, I knew I had to pretend to be Richard. I answered the door to find the mailman.

“Howdy Rich! Woah uh.” He stared at my chest. I forgot I was still shirtless. Having this much fat hanging from my body was almost like answering the door naked. “I see you've lost some weight!” he said, obviously lying.

“Oh uh, thanks.” I replied, trying to imitate Richard’s voice, which was pretty easy considering I've mocked him before.

“Well anyway, not much today; just a letter.” He handed me a letter with a purple stamp on it.

“Well uh see you tomorrow!” The mailman went on his way and I closed the door. I opened the letter and found a note similar to the lucky coin advertisement.

To whom it may concern,

Good morning! I trust that your lucky coin worked well? Welcome to your new life! As promised, you now have a job that you love. Unhappy with the results? Just flip the coin once again, and make sure it lands on what it landed on before! If not, however, your fate is sealed. Best Wishes! - VV, Venefica Viola

Shit. They're not lying though. Richard did love his job. And since I was in his body, I now had that job! But who is this Venefica Viola? It sounded like Latin somehow. I walked back to the bedroom to find Richard’s phone. Luckily he didn't have any lock screen pin so I could easily get in. I searched for a translator, dodging the random pop up ads that were everywhere on his phone and looked up Venefica Viola.

Violet Witch. So magic is involved somehow. I needed to get my coin back so I could undo this! It must still be at my own house. Shit! I just realized why the alarm clock went off. Richard worked today! He had perfect attendance and never uses his PTO, so not going in was gonna look suspicious. I glanced at the clock and realized I only had 20 minutes. 

Even though I'd love to see Richard be humiliated by going to work in his underwear, I decided that it wasn't worth attracting attention so I looked through his clothes to put on a work uniform. I found a pair of boxers and accidently flashed myself when I completely forgot I didn't have my own dick either. It was all wrinkly, but honestly a lot bigger than I thought. No. I was not about to get horny over Richard's dick! I found what he normally wore to work and put the rest on. I found tucking the shirt was more difficult than usual, as I had to pull it over my belly.

I guess I could make this work…for now. I hated to admit it, but Richard wasn't all that bad looking. It was his personality and habits that made him so repulsive, but now that I was in control of him, he didn't look all that bad. Maybe I could even turn things around for now and do something nice for the people I know he hates. I grabbed the car keys on the nearby table, and drove to work.

I walked in the store, put Richard's nametag on, and clocked in. I nearly started walking to the bakery area but stopped myself. I guess I'm really going to have to be a greeter for a day. This feels humiliating. I made my way to the front entrance and just stood there, waiting for customers to enter or exit.

Soon enough customers began arriving and I tried my best to act like Richard, though one customer asked if I was all right because I guess I overdid it. I didn't ask any customers to show their receipts though, because I might as well take advantage of being a greeter. I noticed Domingo at the checkout and when he bagged up his groceries, he approached me first instead of the door. He hastily grabbed his receipt and started showing it to me. I wasn't about to let this happen.

“No no it's ok. You don't have to show me the receipt anymore.”

“No?” He looked shocked.

“Checking receipts is stupid anyway. I don't need to do it anymore.”

“Really? I can go?”

“Yep! Have a good day.” It was unnerving seeing him so scared at the sight of me, but he smiled like normally did as he put the receipt back in the bag and walked out.

As I moved towards the break room to take my break, I noticed someone who looked awfully familiar walk through the door. It was…me! I mean Richard. It must've been; if I was in his body, he must've been in mine. It became more obvious by the way he was walking, taking big steps as if he was used to having his gut swinging around…like mine was now. God I hated this. I had to talk to him to sort things out. He smirked as I approached.

“Hey!”

“Oh it's you. I mean me. I mean,” he paused for a second and rounded his mouth into an even bigger smile, which looked uncanny with my face. “The old me.”

“What do you mean ‘the old you’”?

“Well seeing as I'm much younger now, while you're much older, I think the term is appropriate.”

“Well yeah, but not for long. I'm going to switch us back.”

“Oh no you're not! I may have preferred being white, but I’m enjoying youth again! Oh, and don't worry. I saw that coin thing and that letter this morning, and I made sure it would never see the light of day again. You got that…Richard?” 

He called me that in the same mocking tone that I always use to call him. I can't believe this!

“Y-you can't do this! I had a future!”

“That's my future now old man. You know maybe I could be a model with these looks. Maybe make one of those, what do you kids call it? OnlyFans?”

God no, I'm an artist, not a pornstar. He can't do this!

“The greeter is a real fun job, Richard. Enjoy it. You're hired!”

[bitethedustfools]

TWST Story Idea (10)

Twisted Wonderland is a very unique world. Their world has magic, and they have different species living together, ranging from mages, beastmen, fae, merfolk, and so on.

Yuu's world had something like those, but obviously, that was just in a story, a fiction, a drawing on walls and pots. Something that almost all people heard of but did not believe in their existence. Which is understandable because Yuu's world is just humans and animals, and that's it. There are no werewolves, no vampires or mermaids, not even a dragon, and so on.

Yuu had been the type of person who always has been interested in these kinds of things: mythology, folklore, and cryptozoology, and maybe a little bit of history. That's what Yuu loves in the whole world.

They know many things and the history of how it came to be. You can ask Yuu if they know about skinwalker, and they'll put up a presentation that they prepared for years, which somehow leads to other cryptids. The Beast of Gévaudan? Yuu's got a conspiracy board with a bunch of pictures of animals to prove this beast is actually so and so and where it ran off to. They are also very knowledgeable about Greek mythology, followed by Norse, Aztec, and so on.

So imagine Yuu got transported to Twisted Wonderland and got the shock of their life when they saw a beastman. Yuu expected to see a furry animal standing on two feet, the face a mix with man and animal followed by animalistic growls and piercing eyes. Not… not a goddamn handsome man with a pair of ears and tails!

Sure, they had seen this type before, but that's on some people's fantasy that they have written and drawn! Yuu is absolutely stupefied when they're face to face.

Every time Yuu met a new species, Yuu didn't fail to feel disappointed in what they saw. The dragon by the name of Malleus got a human form that he likes to use, and that has the most ridiculously handsome face Yuu has ever seen. Where is the fire-breathing dragon? Where is the gold they hoard? The wings? Yuu is not satisfied with this.

Yuu met Hades next, who was hailed as one of the prominent seven figures seen as a hero or something, which just conflicted with what Yuu knows about the Hades of their world.

Yuu took a look at the multiple figures next to him like the Fairest Queen, the Queen of Hearts, Maleficent, and Ursula, and was astounded to see that they also were hailed as heroes. Their story is so much nicer than the original story Yuu read that at least, 2 out of 4 stated above died horribly if Yuu is not mistaken.

The dwarves are just toddlers that can speak perfectly, the eels from the Little Mermaid are humanified, what was supposed to be a werewolf is not a werewolf at all. The ghosts are all the same as though they are copy and pasted many times, some had different clothes. Yuu saw Grim, and they're not sure what he is, but he's cute, so that's alright.

Halloween comes, and Yuu is ready to be the most terrifying monster of them all, and they did, but that's because the rest dressed prettily and not terrifyingly like Yuu expected!

Where's the horror? Where are the screams of terror and the nightmare fuel appearance?? Yuu wanted to see someone getting traumatized, and all they got is sparkles and annoyance. Those magicam monsters must be stupid and blind to be scared of such pretty faces.

The only highlight of the Halloween was the Spectral realm like yes! The gloomy atmosphere is here! The graves! The very gothic architecture is everywhere! It was what Yuu imagined where the wandering and unrest souls will go.

It got crashed by a disco ball, though.

In short, Yuu didn't like it.

This world is sh*tty and against everything Yuu believed in. It's like meeting an idol you like so much and find that they are not the same as your expectation or something.

Dissatisfied, Yuu complained to themself, unaware that NRC heard it. "This is not what I imagined them to be. What a let down…"

Seeing that NRC are full of prideful kids, naturally, they get offended being told by a magicless human that Twisted Wonderland filled with wonder doesn't excite Yuu in any slightest.

Now this. This made Yuu perked up, but at the same time, Yuu is also offended that the others think their world is nothing special.

Yuu made up their mind to take it as a challenge. Yuu won't lose to these rip-offs of their world. They're gonna prove their world is superior, and that's Yuu's pride as a human being from that world.

Twisted Wonderland might have 7-8 prominent figures, but Yuu's world has more, although they may not exist today. Yuu is gonna show them how there's charm in being a mystery and history.

Yuu proceeded to drop snippets of a bunch of mythology, folklore, and cryptozoology randomly in the different places.

Yuu would go camping with the friends and said in his world there used to be a Wendigo roaming around in the woods. They would describe vividly about its appearance and how it eats flesh and the origin of how it came to be, taking sadistic delight when said friends looked at each other shakingly.

Yuu would mention out of nowhere about how beautiful people would have been sacrificed to the gods to a rather vain person and said it's lucky they are not in Yuu's world.

They even talked about Salem witch trials down to the details when a group of their friends has a fight or something. Magic doesn't involve in that, of course, but they looked terrified that even humans would accuse and execute their own kin. A very dark history indeed.

The mer eel would have threatened Yuu about squeezing and biting and so on, and Yu would drop a myth in their world about eating mermaid would bring immortality and maybe that's why they don't exist anymore.

They even mentioned casually that the faes would replace human kids with theirs and also kidnapped humans as pets. They can also be invisible to the eyes so no one would know or even find them.

The others are terrified to hear what story sprouted out of Yuu.

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hello yes I would like to request stories/headcanons (whichever is easier) of toddler Alethaine and Astarion being chaos gremlins together.

Hi! Finally managed to write your request! Hope you will enjoy it!

Chaotic Elves

Summary: Astarion spends some quality time with Alethaine.

Tags: dadstarion, fluff, slice of life

Alethaine's age: 2-years-old

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons Astarion also suddenly gets into Silmarillion and tells Alethaine the legend of how elves came to be "Tolkien-wise".

“Your turn!” Tiriel hands Astarion the two-year-old toddler in a black dress. The fabric is dirty, the left shoe is missing and Alethaine has leaves in her silver hair. 

Astarion barely manages to put down the books he’s been reading (some barely trustworthy book on Crinti, half-drow aristocracy from Halrua) before Alethaine is placed in his arms.

The girl immediately wraps her pale arms around Astarion’s neck and he feels a pricking sensation on his skin.

“Princess, we don’t bite.” He carefully pulls Alethaine away before she draws some of his bitter undead blood. “What did you do to make Mum so angry?”

“I am not angry, I am tired!” Tiriel exclaims. “And I can’t walk up to the ceiling when she runs away!”

“I climbed a tree,” Alethaine says, rubbing her left cheek. “And then I fell.”

“Yep, into the pile of leaves.” 

“I saw a dead rat there,” Alethaine proudly says. “It smelt bad.”

Tiriel yawns. Astarion physically feels that his darling wife needs at least ten hours of sleep.

“You can’t even imagine how difficult it was to make her let it go,” Tiriel says. “She has all the toys she wants, but she needs a dead rat.”

“Love, we have enough money to buy the most elegant dresses and yet you wear trousers and shirts,” Astarion kisses Tiriel. 

Tiriel kisses her daughter’s forehead. The dhampir smiles, showing her fangs. “Goodnight, kitten.”

“Bye, mama,” Alethaine mumbles and waves her little hand.

When Tiriel closes the door to the bedroom, Astarion places Alethaine on the kitchen table.

“So, what are we going to do tonight?” Astarion chuckles. “What does your dark, undead nature desire?”

Alethaine contemplates for a while. Her fangs make her look like a kitten and the lack of a proper breath makes her pass for a porcelain doll. “The rat! We will go see the rat! Oh,” Alethaine looks down at her feet. “I lost my shoe.” 

“Then we go looking for it, what do you think?”

And here the problem starts.

Alethaine’s mind is developed enough to understand she indeed misses a shoe. But even after a dozen explanations, she can’t understand that it won't miraculously appear in the house. 

The moment Astarion tries to head out carrying Alethaine on his shoulders, the dhampir has a meltdown – because no one should go out with only one shoe!

Astarion places Alethaine on the chair and gives her a plushie for distraction. Many of Alethaine's plushies are weird-looking but this one is definitely the weirdest. Half of it looks like a flayed unicorn, and the other half looks like an ogre zombie. The two parts are stitched together as if the unicorn and the zombie were victims of a warlock with a penchant for body horror.

Alethaine has called it Madame Fluffy.

It takes Astarion an eternity to find another pair of shoes that isn’t already too small for her. 

He definitely needs to either learn how to make them himself (he already makes her dresses after all) or go to the shoemakers and order new ones for Alethaine, all as pitch black as the rest of her things.

When he finally finds what he needs and returns back, Alethaine is already sitting on the ceiling and feeds Madame Fluffy with what looks like a dead spider.

Suddenly, the plushie falls down from her arms to the floor and the dhampir starts sobbing as if a fire pit opened below.

“Alethaine, come down,” Astarion asks. 

The girl doesn’t move. Then she gets up and tries to make a movement resembling a jump…

And nothing happens.

Alethaine cries, shaking her head and stretching her arms to her father.

“Someone is stuck, isn’t she?” Astarion puts the shoes on the floor near the plushie. “Well, what to do? Maybe Fluffy and I should go on our own?”

Alethaine gives out another cry but it seems like she really doesn’t know how to get down, as if her legs got glued to the ceiling.

Astarion reaches out for her, takes her hands in his, and pulls Alethaine with enough strength to end the effect of the spider climb.

The dhampir falls on his head and laughs. 

… The night meets them with silence and the intoxicating smell of the woods. Astarion’s instincts can sense the beasts walking among the trees, full of hot blood. It’s not just a forest near Daggerlake.

It’s part of ancient woods that once belonged to elves.

It’s full of magic, mysteries, cruel wonder, and ancient secrets. Dangerous for everyone except for those with elven blood and the undead.

Luckily, Astarion and Alethaine are both.

He lets Alethaine’s hands go to let the toddler explore the world around her. She is two and everything fascinates her.

“Look, look, a bird!” She points at the raven on the branch. “Bird!”

“It's a raven” Astarion kneels beside Alethaine to be more or less on the same level with her. “Ra-ven.”

“Riven.”

“Raven.”

“Riven!” Alethaine insists. Astarion decides not to push further. 

Then, something else attracts Alethaine’s attention. She freezes and then…

… Rushes up to the tree before Astarion can grab her hand…

By the time Astarion catches up with her, Alethaine has already reached the top of the pine and is giggling as it sways. 

Astarion sits close hoping Alethaine doesn’t suddenly forget her spider climb. Of course, she can regenerate, but he suspects certain wounds are too extensive to recover from.

To prevent the fall, Astarion squeezes the hem of her dress between his fingers.

“Stars,” she says looking up, absolutely mesmerized. 

Astarion follows her gaze. Yes, the stars are beautiful. Scattered on the black fabric of the skies, they shine and flicker like diamonds in a cave. 

“Look, those are the Sleepless Knights,” Astarion points at the constellation. “Many thousand years ago, they were the knights who made an oath to stand vigil of the North. They never dared to sleep. And when the king died, they ascended in the skies to always guard the North.”

Alethaine watches the skies with her mouth open.

“Some elves believe that when Corellon created us he put our ancestors to sleep,” Astarion continues. “And when Tel’Quessira woke up, the starry skies were the first thing we saw. That’s why we are so enchanted by them.”

Alethaine moves trying to sway the top of the tree but instead, the wood starts breaking.

Alethaine squeals and Astarion grabs her collar before the dhampir follows the piece of wood to the ground.

“It broke.”

“It broke indeed. Come down, I thought you wanted to show me the dead rat?”

“Yes! The rat! The rat!”

It takes Alethaine some time to find the place where she fell from the tree earlier in the daylight but she finally starts digging into a pile of dead leaves.

The rat’s corpse stinks of death and rot but still has blood in it. 

There was a time when Astarion had to feed on such things. 

“Alethaine! Don’t eat it!” Astarion grabs the dhampir’s hands to prevent her from putting the corpse into her mouth. “Put it down!”

Alethaine’s lips quiver and she starts crying yet again.

“We don’t eat dead things!”

Alethaine stomps and tries to set herself free. Her grip is almost as strong as Astarion's and he has to wrestle her to get rid of the rat.

Finally, he takes a hold of it and throws it away into the woods, hoping it gets lost for good.

Alethaine starts screaming.

She screams with this annoying pitch only toddlers are capable of. She chokes on her tears, rubs her face, stomps, and tries to bite Astarion.

He hears a door opening. 

“What the hell is going on?!” A sleepy man, the local smith, looks out.

“I didn't let her eat the dead rat. '' Astarion ushers Alethaine away. The girl punches his chest with her tiny fists.

“Oh, that’s you. Go and scream in the woods, us humans need to sleep through the night!” The smith slams the door.

Astarion decides to follow his advice.

The path takes father and daughter to the lake. The water’s surface reflects the twinkling stars. Astarion likes still waters; they do not hurt him.

There were no lakes in Baldur’s Gate, only a dirty river. And a month after Astarion got rid of the tadpole in his brain and forever lost the ability to walk in the sun, he came across a lake…

He swam as if the lake water were washing the bad memories off his skin. And Tiriel looked like a dryad from a distance.

…The same legend that says elves were put to sleep and woke up seeing stars also says elves awoke near a beautiful lake…

Alethaine, still angry and crying, keeps fighting and Astarion puts her on the ground. Then, still keeping an eye on his daughter, he takes off his boot, and dives into the cold water. 

So peaceful…

“Daddy!!” Alethaine rushes to him still crying. “Don’t!”

“What is it, princess? Are you finally in the mood for talking?”

From her muffled cries and barely understandable sentences, Astarion manages to realize that Alethaine thought he was leaving her.

“Princess, I just gave you some time to think,” Astarion chuckles. By this time, the water already reaches up to his waist. He can’t care less about clothes – he can always dry them at home.

Alethaine refuses to enter the water but keeps reaching up to him.

Astarion returns to the shore and sits on the wet sand. Alethaine crawls up to his lap and presses her face against his chest.

“I won’t eat the rat,” she says.

“Good. I had to eat rats before and it wasn’t a good experience.��� He strokes her silver hair.

Some time passes and Astarion notices Alethaine’s eyes are closed and her heartbeat is much slower than it was before. 

When they both return home, the dhampir is already fast asleep. He puts her on her bed, undresses her, quickly washes her skin of dirt before she catches a cold, and dresses her for the night. 

She wakes up only for a moment demanding her toy and, once Madame Plushie is back, Alethaine nestles under the blanket.

Astarion adores her facial features. So delicate and yet so fierce. His baby. His baby daughter. She is only two, but her personality is already showing off. 

She has centuries of life ahead and Astarion will be able to see her growing up.

Still smiling like a lovestruck idiot, he opens the door to the master’s bedroom and joins Tiriel in bed. He hugs her from behind and kisses her shoulder.

Tiriel’s heartbeat is his favorite sound and he concentrates on listening to it.

Life is perfect, he thinks. Everything is perfect.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka  

@herstxrgirl 

@herdarkestnightelegance  

@vixstarria 

@not-so-lost-after-all  

@marcynomercy  

@theearthsfinalconfession 

@starlight-ipomoea    

@micropoe10 

@astarion-imagine-archive  

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress  

@fayeriess  

@lumienyx  

@tallymonster    

@caitlincat-95  

@tragedybunny  

@valeprati  

@lynnlovesthestars   

@marina-and-the-memes  

@waking-eyes   

@ayselluna  

@connorsui  

@asterordinary  

@darkarchangel96  

@locallegume  

@brainfullofhotsauce   

@coffeeanddonutscafe  

@my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen 

@queenofthespacesquids  

@ednaaa-04  

@dajeong

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

@nyx-knox

@jessaryss

@sillybillylia

[moonlightazriel]

The family we choose /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: It has always been Azriel and Aiden against the world, but what will happen when the new school years begin and his son talks about this amazing teacher every day?

Warnings: None, just fluff cuz why not?

Word Count: 3,1K

Notes: Fucking finally, this has been sitting on my drafts for a while and i love this idea.

Main Masterlist

“DADDY!” Aiden yelled, raising from his spot beside Feyre and rushing to get to him, he lowered to his level and waited for the little boy, he threw himself into his father’s arms, and Azriel wrapped his arms around him, giving him a tight squeeze. 

“Hey, buddy! How was school?” His son rushed back to the table, Feyre, Nyx, and a lot of art supplies were waiting for him, he grabbed a piece of paper and ran back to him to show him the drawing.

“Miss Y/L asked us to draw our family.” Azriel looked closely at the figures, the 6-year-old had done a great job, he could see himself, Cassian, Nesta with a huge pregnant belly, Rhys, Feyre, Nyx, Mor, Emerie, Gwyn, Elain, and Lucien.  

“That’s a beautiful drawing, you have a lot of talent.” He complimented.

“Aunt Feyre helped me make this drawing so I could give it to Miss Y/L, I really hope she likes it.” The flower bouquet was painted on a piece of parchment paper, Feyre had done the drawing but Aiden had painted it. 

“She’s going to love it Den, but why don’t you and Nyx play in the garden while the adults talk?” Feyre suggested as she started to gather the supplies from the table, Aiden looked at Azriel and he nodded, the two boys happily smiled and started to rush outside. “He really loves this teacher.” She said and Azriel got to her side, helping her clean. 

“Did he start with the never-ending rant about how amazing and beautiful she is?” She nodded. “You don’t think he’s projecting the feeling he had for his mother on her, do you?”

“Well, I can’t say for sure Az, Nyx likes her too, a lot, sometimes feels like he likes her more than me.” She giggled, rolling her eyes. “Maybe she’s just a really good teacher and there’s nothing to do with his mom.” Azriel nodded.

He had met Laurie in an Illyrian camp 10 years ago, and it was love at first sight, they lived like a happy couple until she met her mate, and decided that it was a good idea to leave Azriel with their 1-year-old son. 3 years ago, the news of her death reached him in Velaris, it was a tough blow that he wasn’t expecting but he slowly got over it, he had to, for his son. Ever since he does everything he can to make sure that his son is happy, and focused his life on him, even if his family tried to tell him that he should live his life too.

“She’s all he talks about ever since they started the school year, you have no idea how many times he asked if he could pick “Aunt Elain’s beautiful flowers”  to give them to her.” Feyre looked at him and smiled. 

“Let him be Az, it’s probably just a phase.” He nodded.

“Thanks for everything Fey, you’re amazing.” He said giving her a quick hug and kissing her temple.

“Get your hands off my High Lady.” Rhysand spoke with a smile on his face from the doorway. Azriel stepped back with his hands in the air. 

“I’m already on my way, don’t need to get all overprotective.” Rhys playfully slapped his back while he walked outside to get Aiden. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“Do you want to eat something?” Azriel asked his son as they walked around Velaris.

“My belly is full Daddy, Miss Y/L brought us the best cookies in the world, she made them.” The toddler happily spoke. “She said that she will teach us how to make them, she’s so nice, I really like her.”

“That’s awesome buddy, you just have to be careful around the fire.” He warned his son.

“Yes Daddy, cuz the fire hurts if we get too close.” He repeated the words Azriel had told him ever since Aiden started to crawl, his son was perfect, and he didn’t want him to be marked like he was, he didn’t need any scars on his perfect brown skin.

Aiden was a copy of him, with the same eyes, the same hair color, the same skin tone, and huge wings behind his back, and even if he could understand his father’s shadows just as perfectly as Azriel did, he had none, at least not yet. 

The two kept walking until they reached the townhouse, Rhys knew how Azriel loved that house and decided to give it to him as a gift, it was good enough for him and Aiden and he was happy that his brother made him the owner, he took good care of that house. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Azriel brushed his wet hair, spraying some perfume on his neck and chest as he got ready for the school meeting, the teachers requested to talk about the student's progress and how the parents could help with their learning. Aiden was already ready, playing in the living room as he readied himself, a simple black shirt, pants, boots, and truth-teller strapped on his thigh, his siphons glowed as he looked at himself in the mirror once again. 

His son was really excited for him to meet his teacher finally, and even Azriel was curious, Aiden had practically dragged him across the street towards the school, the little boy was rambling all the way, and when he saw his cousin, he left Azriel behind to go play with Nyx.

“Someone is super happy.” Rhys said as Az approached him, the two kids were running around now.

“You have no idea.” He replied looking around, the kids were running and most parents just waited for the reunion, Azriel tried to spot who he thought was Miss Y/L, in his mind, he was looking for an old, kind fae, with white hair and granny coats, weren’t all teachers like that after all?

Faes started to come to the parents to lead them to the classrooms, they followed a male as he guided the way, the classroom was decorated with flowers, and kids' drawings, books, and toys were all over the place, and in the corner, in the front part of the classroom a female stood, she was beautiful, her hair was in a braid behind her back, she was wearing a long dress, and she had the prettiest smile in the world, she looked at Azriel and he swore he could see the world shining brighter as she looked at him, she couldn’t be…..

“Miss Y/L!” Aiden yelled, running past them and jumping in the female's arms, she lifted him from the ground, laughing with him.

“Hi Den, did you bring your daddy as I asked?” She spoke, her voice was calm and airy, and hearing her talk made Azriel feel like he was walking on clouds.

“Yup!” The toddler proudly nodded and pointed at Azriel who still stood in the doorway. “Daddy, this is Miss Y/L.” He happily said as the female walked closer to him. 

Of course, everyone in Velaris knew who the Spymaster was, but it was something entirely different seeing him in person for the first time, the tall male was absolutely breathtaking, he was wearing the simplest clothes on earth and yet he looked perfect, the cobalt gems adorning his body, to contain his powers, glowed as he looked her up and down. 

Y/N felt her cheeks getting hot as she approached the male, his eyes still glued to hers, she could feel the sparks of electricity as she held his gaze, extending a hand in his direction.

“I’m Y/N.” She managed to say, her voice more steady than she expected, good!

“Azriel. I’ve heard a lot about you.” The male chuckled and Y/N felt her knees go weak at the sound.

“Oh, i could say the same about you, little Aiden here loves his father more than anything else.” The little boy held his father’s hand while he blushed. “What about you take your Daddy to your seat and we’ll talk more later?” She lowered to Den’s level and he nodded, pulling his father to the empty seat in front of her desk. She went to greet other parents that arrived in the classroom. 

“I wasn’t expecting that AT ALL.” Rhysand spoke as Azriel approached him, Nyx and Aiden sat side by side in class, he smiled at that, loving how close the cousins were like they saw each other as brothers the same way their parents did.

“What?” Rhys gave him a knowing look and he rolled his eyes.

“That she would be this pretty, guess I was expecting an old lady.” Azriel scoffed.

“Don’t let Feyre hear you, or you might sleep on the couch tonight.” Rhysand laughed and the two males looked at her while she spoke about the class progress. One by one, the parents approached her to speak about their children, they were the last ones in the classroom when she came to speak with them.

“High Lord!” She bowed a little. “Thank you two for coming in today. The boys are absolutely wonderful, they’re the top ones in class, but I’m afraid that they have some trouble with maths, I’ve been giving them extra exercises but maybe you two could keep an eye on that, and see why they’re struggling with that.” 

“Of course, do you teach privately?” Rhysand asked, saying that she could teach a thing or two to Azriel in his mind, Azriel slightly shoved the High Lord and Rhysand suppressed a laugh.

“I do! If you need me just contact the school and they will let me know.” She smiled at them, and Azriel felt his chest fill with warmth with that.

“Thanks, Y/N.” He said, and the two said their goodbyes leaving her behind.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Azriel rushed through the school corridors, opening the door to the nurse’s office, he almost fell to his knees as he spotted Y/N sitting in the corner, Aiden was in her lap, he was holding his little arm, and his cheeks were red from crying, his head was resting against her chest and she had her cheek pressed against his forehead, whispering a song to calm him down. The way his son grabbed her like she was the only person that could keep him safe, made Azriel’s heart bleed, the two turned their head to him.

“He fell while playing in the garden, the healer said that his arm just hurts cuz he fell on top of it, it’s not broken, and he’ll be okay. He’s just scared.” Azriel kneeled in front of them, and Den’s puffy red eyes locked with his, he grabbed his son, cradling him to his chest, kissing the top of his head. She still looked worried, like she was about to cry, the only people that worried that much about his son, were his family. 

“Thank you so much for always taking care of him.” His voice was shaken, and the shadows around him still moved frantically, assessing Aiden for any injuries she could not be aware of.

“There’s nothing to thank me for, Aiden is a special boy, it’s my pleasure to take care of him.” She said gently, rubbing the toddler's back, Aiden was already sleeping in his father’s arms.

“No modesty please, let me pay you a coffee, I insist.” Azriel didn’t know why, but he wanted her to understand how much he appreciated her for all her care for his son. He could see that she was inclined to accept, so he talked again. “Meet me tomorrow morning at the Oak Alcove, by the Rainbow. At 9!” He said, thanking her once more, grabbing his son’s backpack, and leaving without waiting for an answer, he just hoped she would show up. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Y/N walked between the tables trying to spot the Shadowsinger, she was wearing a simple dress, and she rubbed her sweaty hands in the soft fabric for the third time, she gave another look around before she saw a hand raised in the air, Azriel was wearing leather clothes, the breath got caught in her throat as she looked at him, absolutely beautiful.

“You came.” He smiled at her, getting up to pull the chair for her, she sat, thanking him. She didn’t know if it was just a coincidence, but the Oak Alcove was her favorite coffee shop in Velaris, the soft breeze from the Sidra, the smell of flowers, the soft music, it was a magical place. 

“I did.” She laughed. “ It’s not often that I get to go to my favorite coffee shop for free.” She joked. 

“And here was i, thinking we would split the bill.” He rested a hand on his heart, pretending to be hurt and she liked that, everyone just saw him as a serious and stoic male, which was intimidating, but the way he smiled, a sight that she was sure wasn’t often people saw, made her heart melt. 

Azriel was a pleasant male, the way he softly spoke, his wide knowledge of everything, his passion for literature, he was really much more than the eyes could see. The time flew as they got to know each other better, now she understood why Aiden loved him so much, the Shadowsinger was sweet, gentle, wonderful, her heart skipped a beat every 5 seconds, and she tried to stop blushing like a little girl every time he smiled in her direction.

“This was fun.” She said after he stated that he should leave, he had plans with his son. 

“It was.” He got closer to her as they walked away. He walked her to her house, not far away from the coffee shop. “I was hoping we could do it again if it’s okay for you.” Her heart came to a stop in her chest.

“I would love to, Azriel. See you around.” The way she spoke his name, it was a sweet melody.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“She’s wonderful.” He said, stretching his wings, the glass of liquor dancing in between his fingers, Rhysand smiled and Cassian entered the office. 

“What’s happening?” Rhys served him a glass as well.

“Azzie here is in love with Den’s teacher.” Cassian whispered a “NO WAY!” shuffling his onyx hair, making Azriel growl at him.

“I’m not in love with her.” He sipped on his drink. “Yet!” The trio laughed. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Azriel knew he was wrapped around her fingers when he kept going to the school every day, just to see her smile, just like his son, he would bring her flowers, he would take her out, after suffering because of Laurie, he was ready to open his heart again, especially for someone like her, she was perfect for him and he was ready to take their relationship to the next level. 

“Where are you going daddy?” Aiden asked as Azriel fixed his tie in the mirror.

“I’m going out with Mrs.Y/L, you like her, right?” He pulled his son closer.

“Yes, she’s amazing.”

“Would you like it if she was Daddy’s girlfriend?” His little eyebrows furred and he looked confused.

“Will she be my mommy?” The words shattered his heart and he swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling his eyes burn, he knew Aiden probably missed his mother, he noticed how he would look to Feyre when Nyx called her mommy, Azriel knew he wanted, craved that too, and broke his heart not be able to give that to his son.

“Maybe in the future buddy, if she wants to.” His son nodded and Azriel fixed his hair, he dropped Den in the River House before meeting Y/N for dinner, the bouquet Elain prepared for him was almost slipping from his shaking fingers, Y/n was already there waiting for him, she smiled, getting up to greet him with a quick kiss, they shared their first kiss after their fifth date, and he couldn’t keep his hands to himself ever since, her lips were sweet and she fitted so perfectly against him, she was made for him. 

“I want to ask you something.” Azriel had been building up the courage all night, Y/N dropped her spoon, her lips smudged with chocolate and he smiled at her, she was beautiful. “Will you be my girlfriend?” She almost jumped from her seat as she shook her head agreeing, he took her home that night, where they made love until sunrise. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“Mrs. Mommy I need help.” Aiden’s voice sounded from somewhere behind her and she immediately turned around, seeing him shaking the glitter off his tiny fingers. Az had mentioned what happened between him and Den’s mom, and how he knew his son wanted a  mother, she just didn’t expect that.

“Hi Den, what do you need?” He showed her his fingers glued together.

“My fingers are sticky.” She guided him to the sink.

“Let’s wash it then.” She said, then releasing the kids to their break. Azriel showed up like he did almost every day, he was holding a cup of coffee and some cookies for her.

“Hey love, what’s wrong?” He kissed her cheek and closed the door.

“Aiden called me mommy today. Mrs.Mommy to be precise.” She giggled a little.

“Shit.” Azriel didn’t want to pressure her to assume a motherly role to Den, but he also couldn’t exactly control these kinds of things. “I can talk to him if you want, tell him that you’re not his mom. He’ll understand.”

“I just don’t want him to be confused, I don’t know.” He hugged her. “I love him, just as much as I love you. Maybe tell him not to do it at school? Cuz the principal is already fuming that we’re dating.” He smiled.

“Maybe she’s jealous.” He joked and she laughed, she loved them really much. And her heart clenched hearing Den call her mommy. Maybe they could make this whole thing work.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

“You can’t catch me.” Aiden smirked, as Cassian chased him and Nyx, they were at a picnic with the inner circle, and Y/N was more than welcomed among them, they really liked her, she was getting really close to Feyre, the two were watching as the general pretended to be slower than the children. Den rushed to her, jumping on her lap and hiding from Cassian, while Azriel watched from afar. She looked at him, and it was like the whole world had come to a stop, she was the only thing holding him on earth, he had always assumed he was just lucky to have found someone so similar to him, and now he understood that it wasn’t luck, she was perfect for him because she was made for him, his mate, his equal, the love of his life. 

She blinked too overwhelmed as she explored the newly found bond between them, she had suspected for a while that he might be her mate, she had hoped and she had prayed to the Mother that she was right, and there it was, glowing like a thousand suns, the mating bond tying them to each other for the eternity, finally everything was complete for them. 

[ninapi]

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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Wind Pillar ╝

Premise: Days in the life of the Shinazugawa household Pt.2. This is based on my previous story (link here).

Word Count: 3003

Note: This was requested by the lovely @dancingnewcat, "Shinazugawa household scenario when they ask where babies come from + when they hear 'noises' from their parents room and get confused and ask them about it." 🫶🏻

Warning: This might be an obvious warning but anyways, Suggestive content. Just a bit, no smut. It’s more funny than anything- 👀

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Sanemi’s children were all very well disciplined, his father reinforced the importance of a routine in each of them from a very early age and they wouldn’t dare to question their father. They all knew when to follow orders and knew it was on their best interest.

However, the one rule they all disliked very much was how early they had to go to bed.

It was no secret to anyone that this family worked a lot. They had a lot of mouths to feed, being consistent was important to say the least. And the field work was as exhausting as demanding. To you and Sanemi made perfect sense for the children to go to bed after a nice warm bath and a delicious home cooked dinner, they needed to rest to grow strong.

But to them it was nothing but a nuisance. Yes, they were tired, but they didn’t have much free time to read or play and would like to use some of that time off to do so.

While the youngest toddler would be the one to protest the most, Remi was the first one to fall asleep every day, even before Senri did. Sanehiko and Genma were a completely different story.

Genma liked to draw, and he was actually pretty good at it. His mother made a sketch book for him and that’s his biggest treasure. He stays up for an extra couple of hours at night trying to draw whatever that caught his eye that day. Today that was a caterpillar wiggling near his favorite tomato plant.

Sanehiko on the other hand loved to read. You were very insistent in teaching your eldest how to read and write, while Genma wasn’t the best, Sanehiko really enjoyed reading and would constantly reread your books, using his down time at night to do so.

They waited all day to get this freeing moment, it was their favorite time of the day. And it was very much so as well for their parents.

Sanemi was the most hardworking person you’ve ever met, thankfully he was your husband. But this also meant your time together wasn’t as abundant as you would like, even if you did everything together. He was very overprotective, and you were constantly pregnant, so he would make you rest inside and do minor jobs around the house while he would break his back outside in the fields with your eldest children. It was a rewarding feeling, having someone to treasure you this much, to worry this much about his family. You were a very lucky woman, that much you’re aware of.

This time of the day was Sanemi’s favorite too, very much like his sons, he waited all day for this very moment. The moment to have his beloved beautiful wife in his arms. If he was being honest, it’s all he thinks about all day. He craves the softness of your curves, the warmth of your chest, your soft caresses, and kisses. According to Uzui, he was lovesick. And he most definitely was, even if he’s been with you for over ten years now.

To him you were the definition of perfection, he could just stare at you all day and never get bored, it was even better than killing demons, a feeling like no other.

And nighttime was your time off. Your kids were in bed, your youngest child was now sleeping through the entire night without waking up much, your room was a peaceful little bubble where your love would bloom every night.

Sanemi was lovesick, yes.

But he was still a man.

And this man has needs.

Daily needs.

Tonight, you were particularly tired, Sae was not like any of your previous babies, this girl had an appetite, even taking care of your daily home tasks was difficult with her constantly asking for milk, you even had to miss the outings to the market every other day because of how drained you were.

Tonight, was one of those nights.

“She reminds me of you when we just met.” you were laying on your side, tucked cozily to your husband’s chest.

“What why me? She has your face, not mine.” he was scowling down at you, he loved his child, but she was truly feral when it came to food, he wasn’t like that at all.

“Well not really her, but my breasts are as sore as they were when we…well when we made Sanehiko.” your flustered self made Sanemi laugh loudly, he was particularly proud of himself back then, leaving you pregnant was well intended, he was the only child that was actually planned, he was dying to stuff you full with his child, there was nothing he wanted more in the world.

“She’s my daughter after all. Do you want a little massage? You know I’m good with my hands.” That was a very tempting offer, even just laying on your side was painful, they were full of milk and sensitive due to the continuous sucking of your daughter.

“Hmmm…you are indeed…if you aren’t too tired, I would have to accept that offer.” his hands were experts in the art of disrobing his lovely wife, within seconds your sore assets had been freed from confinement and were being diligently caressed by your skillful husband.

It felt good, you could feel all the pressure knotting on the top part of your breasts due to their heaviness leave in an instant, making you hum quietly in delight.

He was being as careful as possible as to not cause the milk to come out, but they were so full it was an impossible task, the sight of your bouncy, delectable and leaking breasts never failed to turn him on to his highest, you were just so gorgeous, he could just eat you all up every day.

His arousal was now obviously pressing onto one of your thighs, making you very much aware of what this would end up as, you were tired but never too tired for your man.

“Nemi…” a mewl louder than intended left your lips as one of his hands was replaced by his hungry mouth, your mind was going blank, your body craving more and more of his.

You are normally very careful to not let your voice go wild; your kids were right next door. But there were days you couldn’t even differentiate how loud you were, being so full of your husband in more than one way drowned all your senses.

Little Genma was leaning against the wall that divided both rooms, still up and trying to get his tomatoes as round as the real ones when he heard something, making him get up instantly, startling his older brother.

“What is it Genma? Need me to take you to the toilet?”

“Nii-chan, I heard something.” his eyes were wide opened, confused, worried, he didn’t know what to think.

“Something like what-“ before Genma could even reply to his brother, Sanehiko could hear one of his father’s feral growl-like grunts echoing throughout the house.

“Oh, I see. We are probably having another sibling soon then.” he went back into his futon, turning on his side as to cover his idle ear and be able to focus on his reading.

Genma was speechless, even more confused than ever. He could swear he heard his lovely mother, most likely in pain and now his father sounded somewhat dangerous. Was it ok for him to stay in his room? Should he not go and make sure his mother was fine?

“Don’t even think about going to check on her, Genma. Father would have your head on a plate for that.” the glare his older brother was giving him meant troubles, but he was so very worried for his mother’s well being, he had to do something.

“Go to sleep now, you can finish your drawing tomorrow. Trust me, mother will be fine.” he knew how attached his little brother was to his mother, every time he heard her make the slightest sound of discomfort he would run over to see if he could help her in any way, Sanehiko could see the desperate look on his little brother’s face.

“Come here, you can sleep with me tonight.” moving aside, he set his book down and brought his baby brother safely by his side, covering one of his little ears with his hand to make sure the toddler couldn’t hear anything else that could aggravate him further.

It was a rare occasion, you both really tried hard to conceal every littlest sound of pleasure for the sake of your children, no matter how much Sanemi loved your lovely cries of love, your children were first. But Sanehiko noticed that not long after it happens every time, his mother would start getting rounder, another sibling arriving later. He was a clever boy even without knowing much about the subject.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As soon as Genma heard you in the kitchen the next morning, he ran over to you, lifting both of your arms up and checking every inch of you, making sure you were ok.

“Good morning my love, did you have a nice sleep?” he just nodded in disinterest. Once he finished verifying his mother was in one piece, the hateful glare he shut his father made him choke on his tea.

“What is that look supposed to mean young man?” he knew angering his father was a bad idea, but he couldn’t even sleep properly thinking of what could all that mean.

“Father, how do you make babies?” the pan you were holding fell on the kitchen floor spilling all its content. You were not expecting to have this talk so soon, at least not with Genma.

“Why do you care? Want one? I have a couple I could let you borrow.” Sanemi was trying to stir the child away from his question as a way to lower the amount of stress radiating from you at the moment.

“I heard you being mean with mother last night and nii-chan said you were making babies. I want an explanation. Does it hurt you, mother? If so, please don’t make any more.” Your husband came to your rescue as you almost fainted at the newly gained information.

Your son heard you.

Your baby boy, the light of your eyes, heard you moaning your husband’s name.

You felt awful, disgusted with your own self. How to explain this to a five-year-old?

“Ugh, it does hurt but only when they come out and I am never mean to your mother, you should know that.” and he wasn't, if there was someone that knew this to be true were his children. He could never even get angry at you, he would get angry at them, but he would rather get hurt himself than do any potential harm to his dear love.

“Then why was she crying in pain last night? Don’t think I didn’t hear it! And I heard you too, father. Being all mean!”

“I did no such thing. How do you know it was me? Maybe it was a wolf, we live up a mountain after all, that’s our every day. And the painful cry you heard, wasn’t it a deer? Remember we heard one the other day that sounded just like a crying woman? That was most likely it.” Genma was now getting confused, easily being swayed by his father’s distractions. He knows what he did, he is 100% sure that what his son heard had to do with the wonderful night of lovemaking he and his wife shared hours ago, but he didn’t want you to pass out in shame he had to do something.

“I would recognize my mother’s voice anywhere.” Having this little creature scowling up at Sanemi was almost comical, but Sanehiko being the responsible older brother he is, had to do something before the situation escalated.

“It wasn’t a wolf father, don’t worry I made sure it was you guys. I told Genma to leave you alone, the baby making is usually this loud, he probably just doesn’t remember.” all remaining color from your face left, your cold hands reaching over for your husband’s in agony.

Your first born knew about this, heard you more than once.

You were terrible parents, you should both be punished by law. Beating yourself over your own actions, your eyes began to water, sending Sanemi into panic mode.

“So what if we did? Is not like you can boss me around, kid. She’s your mother, but she was my wife first, and I’ll put as many babies in her as I want. End of the story, go grab some eggs for breakfast.” he was cradling your face gently, nuzzling your nose with his own, trying to bring you back to life with his warmth.

“But father, how does it work?” Sanemi’s veins were popping out of his forehead, toddlers can be a pain with all their questions and curious nature and he loves his toddlers, but his wife looked like a corpse, he needed to end this conversation now.

Sanehiko jumped in, sensing his father’s wrath. “Do you remember when Cookie was pregnant? Before it happened we saw Blue climbing onto her back and she looked like she was in a lot of pain too. That’s how blue put Milky inside of her.” Sanemi’s hands fell from your face, that was it, his wife would pass out for sure. He never expected his son to use cows as analogy for his younger brother.

Genma’s face was one full of horror imagining his poor beloved mother being rammed into like poor little Cookie.

“But how does the baby go inside? Where does it come from? I didn’t see Blue putting anything inside, no babies came out.” That was it, you were losing it.

“Sweetie, we will explain this a bit better when you grow up, ok? Just know I’m fine, I’m in no form of pain, your father would never hurt me.”

“Okay, but can I ask one more question?” nobody answered so the child continues, “I think I saw Blue peeing inside of Cookie. So, you pee inside of the other and then a baby comes out? Does this mean if I pee on a tree, babies will come out of flowers?” your baby boy was adorable no one could deny that, but just as troublesome.

“It’s a different kind of pee.”

“SANEMI!” you swatted his arm in alarm, you really didn’t want to continue with this conversation, why was he being like this!

“Another type of pee? So, I don’t have flower babies then? Maybe I should listen to mother and only pee in the toilet just in case.”

“Y-yes, that’s it baby. Let’s just pee in the toilet, ok? Now can you go and get the eggs for your father, please?” he’s never seen your face get this red, he made you uncomfortable and he knows it, but he really wanted to know more about this.

“I have one more question mother, just one more, I promise.” you defleated on a chair, braising yourself for what was to come.

“Isn’t it gross that father pees in you? Was I born out of pee? You told me pee was the water I drink during the day. Is that why we are 80% water? Oh! Is there some kind of special drink father has to drink to pee babies?”  Didn’t he say he had one question-

Sanemi got up to block you from sight, crouching down to his son’s size. “Genma. Baby pee is not water, it comes out of you only when needed, you don’t have to worry about peeing babies now, your body can’t do that yet, you’re too young, not even Sanehiko can. Once your body is ready for that, I will tell you all you need to know about it, ok? Now let’s just not mention this again around your mother, alright? It’s a little embarrassing for her.” he knew mentioning the effect on his mother would end the conversation, he would never do anything to make his mother feel bad.

“Why is she embarrassed? I thought she was proud of me….” his little bottom lip was jutting out, eyes glistening with unshed tears. That’s it, now he made his son cry, great, just great.

Coming out from behind your husband, you spoke in a soft tone, laced with as much love as discomfort, “I am, my love. I would never be embarrassed of any of you, I love you so, so much, you make us proud every day just by being here with us. I just don’t know how explain this without making you worry, baby. I promise your father has never been mean to me, you trust me, right?”

“More than anything.” he waddled over into your arms, wanting to be comforted by his loving mother. Truth is he was very worried last night, he is happy to know his mother wasn’t in pain, even if he had now some other sanitary concerns.

Remi was up by the door listening to everything without any of you knowing. All this conversation picking her interest.

“So, someone will pee inside Remi one day?” she was making her way over to her parents, now it was Sanemi’s turn to lose his balance.

“WHAT? No, never. Nobody will ever do that. I would cut their dick in half before they even get near you, princess.” his daughter was pouting, still sleepy and very confused.

“What’s a dick, ppa?” he went white as a ghost, this was your time to rescue your man.

“Is what men use to pee, baby.” you took her from Sanemi’s arms, giving him space to breathe.

“So ppa has one too? Can I see it?” a loud thump could be heard, Sanemi fell on his butt, his eyes lost in the distance. Ah~ So this is how you felt just now…

“He does, but you’ve seen one already. You help mama change Senri every day, don’t you my love?”

“Oh!! The acorn looking thingy! Remi knows!” the look of despair in Sanemi’s face made you laugh, your family is like no other, of that, you were sure.

“That’s it. Now how about we all start preparing breakfast? I don’t know you, but I’m starving!” Seemed like the interrogation was now over, the kids went to their room to bring both missing siblings to the dining area.

Finally, you both got to breathe.

“Thanks babe. I thought it would never end. How did we even get into this mess? We were so quiet last night...” Sanemi wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing a loving kiss to the back of your neck.

“I can’t believe they heard us, Nemi. We gotta be more careful!” to this he only nodded, you were so warm, it was distracting him, his hips started looking for friction on their own, very quickly forgetting everything you just said.

“Shinazugawa Sanemi! Are you trying to pee in me with your acorn thingy?” you really knew how to kill a hard on.

Both of you burst into a fit of loud laughter, parenting was hard, you had areas of improvement just like everyone, nobody was perfect. But marrying you was more to Sanemi than just a way to keep living, you weren’t just his wife, you were his best friend, the best lover there is, the best mother ever. He loved how even after the messy morning you just had you could still laugh together like you did all those years back when you were younger and were experimenting with one and another, life was perfect all thanks to you.

“Yup, you fucking caught me. I’ll make sure to save some for after dinner, see how many acorns can fit in your-“

“PPA!” Remi was waiting for her father out by the front door impatiently.

“Coming princess. Let’s go for those eggs.” He’s never shut up this fast in his entire life, being a parent is hard, specially when your wife is as addicting as his is.

Acorns would never look the same to any of you.

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